#take the cash and run

[sorrywhatdidyousay]

I don't understand why people don't do fake engagements more often.

Lets go to the fucking olive garden and have a tearful "will you marry me?" And get free dessert, come back a week later and have the nastiest divorce and leave people STUNNED

better yet, lets go get fucking married (cheap venue, but make people give us nice wedding gifts) and get our family pissed off (gay wedding/if they're shocked you never mentioned dating) then when they ask about our significant other we just say "yeah, they got hit by a car" and never bring it up ever again.

THEN we go to couples counseling. We start to make up wildly descriptive reasons to hate one another and see how long it takes for the counselor to catch on that we aren't a couple (ex. they always breath through their right nostril when we eat crab ragoons from i love sushi)

This is an UNTAPPED MEDIUM ‼️

[spockvarietyhour]

Don't know that I will but until I can find me A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me I'll be what I am A solitary man Solitary man

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Comedic Barnaby ask here again! I'm sorry, I meant your Modern Human au thingy, my bad lmao.

ohhh ok - was just informed that you probably mean comedian, which makes a lot more sense than what my mind was interpreting!

he does actually do little side gigs around comedy! he even got a degree in clowning, but his main job (at the "present day" part of the timeline) is bartending at the same queer club that Eddie does drag performances in! sometimes Barns will open a show etc with a lil' stand-up act, and when he can, he'll do other comedy-based stuff at local venues

[dayurno]

[vivanightcity]

for real

anyone who likes stardew/harvest moon style games

roots of pacha is the fucking best

holy shit. So good.

It does something really different and interesting with what's become an over saturated genre. And. Amazingly. It has an actually pretty fun and not annoying fishing mini-game. And a little rhythm game to tame animals.

[sleepkey]

fucked how financial stability would fix me

[bitegore]

ao3: runs a donation drive

random people on the internet i've never heard of and who definitely do not provide a free service i use regularly: oh my god everyone who donated to ao3 owes me money, I deserve it more than the [libel] [bullshit fearmongering] [misuse of legal term] website!!!! these gross cumbrain fandom losers are taking money away from me personally!

[serirei]

I FOUND

[twistedappletree]

lmao so i think the other girl working for my client is about to get fired for trauma dumping and making out of pocket passive aggressive comments constantly akdnakjds why can’t anyone just be fucking N O R M A L

**also pls excuse the typos in my tags omfg i’m so annoyed that i can’t type ahahahHAHAHA

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"Emily..." Randall began, almost tearfully, but it was June and Wilhelm who spoke up over him-not to agree, not to rush her out the door and warn her not to come back, but instead to ask her to stay.

"Please," Wilhelm began, as June reached out to take the young woman's cold hand, stopping her as he continued, "W-Would you stay, just a little longer, lass? Really, we...we'd like it if you stayed. I-I promise, y-you're not intruding; Junie and I weren't able to sleep anyways..."

"You saved our son's life, and you brought him back home to us," June continued gently, as Randall sat up a little, just as surprised as Emily was at this sudden turn of events, this change in reaction in his parents. "We...we can't thank you enough for that. Please, won't you sit down? I...I think we have a lot to talk about...and a lot to apologize for."

At this, Randall's eyes widened further, as he looked between Emily, his mother, and his father, that surprise turning to a sort of tentative relief, as his mother encouraged Emily to make herself comfortable, while June moved to the kitchen to put on a pot of tea, to perhaps soothe their frazzled nerves. She hoped the young woman (not a monster, she thought to herself, but a young woman) would accept, and hear out what the Pace parents had to say.

[magdalenas]

my sister is literally addicted to disrespecting & wasting my time :(

[jrueships]

you asked, you shall receive (also forgive me this is gonna be hella long but also it's ur fault bc u asked for it)

so what i was thinking of was that before the season even starts, hollywood thinks he's gotten over the whole qb-wr-breakup thing quite well. it's been more than a year since he got traded, he got a whole season down with his new team, so he thinks it's all gucci leading up to opening week.

this confidence comes crashing down on him though when the season actually starts, and he sees lamar & obj chopping it up better than they ever did (this is just a bold prediction laced w a lil hope from me but don't mind it). it doesn't help that lamar has really good chemistry with the rest of his brand new receiver core as well, with rashod and especially that rookie zay flowers (who's already been called a "better hollywood" before). it nags at hollywood's pride to see his ex (lmao) thrive without even thinking of him, to the point where he rants to kyler whenever the ravens do something (aka hating because they're good). he tries to keep his feelings at bay until week 8, but inevitably fails once the game rolls around and lamar has that same great chemistry with his receivers (especially obj, but he's like The Notorious B.O.T.T.O.M. so it doesn't matter)

the game goes how the game goes, but after the fact, they do the ole shake hands pat on the helmet thing and hollywood is zoned out most of the time. when he gets to lamar, he tries desperately to avoid eye contact, avoid seeing the shimmering lights of victory (another bold prediction but shhhh) in lamar's eyes. lamar doesn't carry that air of somberness and melancholy that he did during the preseason game last year, he looks like he's moved on from the trade for real and something about it bothers hollywood. basically, the roles are flipped from last time and hollywood hates it lmao

this is mostly from holly's perspective but if you want i could expand a lil more on lamar's side of things (i do think this all messed holly up more than it did lamar but maybe that's my bias as a ravens fan lol)

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA!!!!!!! I LOVE IT.

^^a good remind of my thoughts to hone in the irony

YES THOOOOO I LOVE IT. BECAUSE IT'S HOLLYWOOD'S 'BLAME IT ON THE BUSINESS. IT'S JUST BUSINESS. IT'S NOTHINF PERSONAL KID, HEH.' coming back and EGGING HIM ON THE FACE x10 OVER. Like he already got the shell of it with the whole thing accidentally hurting lamar's feelings and then relationship with the organization for a bit.. but those could be not exactly excused.. but have their damage diminished by the necessity cause of business. Hollywood's not the bad guy... the BUSINESS is! Hollywood's not responsible, doesn't need that weight, can't bear the weight anyways... the BUSINESS IS! the business CAN!

... and now, the business is Actually playing a role, without Hollywood forcing it to. Now, it says 'you know what? You want us to play the bad guy? .... Aight. Check this then.'

Quarterbacks need new wide receivers after their old (trustworthy) (best friends) Ditch them, so. All business did was get Lamar some. All business did was step up where Hollywood couldn't because business holds the power and the responsibility and Hollywood? Does not.

And if one of those wide receivers happen to be THE notorious B.O.T.T.O.M, old dirty bastard O.B.J?

That's just business, baby.

As it's .. 'apparently' always been. So why have the nerve to complain now, marquis? Hm? Seems a bit . Suspicious .

And clearly, Lamar is doing okay. No, more than ok, Better. He's doing WAY Better. And that's what was wanted, right? By business, anyways. And by personally, it should be too. By good people. And business isn't good people... so why does it get the positives? The Bad Guy?

... maybe because it wasn't.

At least in the beginning, anyways.

But Hollywood doesn't wanna think about that. And he doesn't want to think about how funny he feels about seeing Lamar so happy now... WITH OTHER PEOPLE, i mean. That's the problem. The ONLY problem. It's with other people. He's happy when Lamar's happy because he loves lamar and hes the kind of good person that loves that his lover is happy. He can do that. He doesn't have to FORCE himself to be good. He's not a bad person, no- fuck. He's not . Selfish. IT WAS THE BUSINESS. OKAY? IT WAS AN EXECUTIVE BUSINESS DECISION ON HIS PART. for his CAREER.

So he's not sore at all about leaving. He's not sore about some 'better Hollywood' on the- HIS old team now. He doesn't care about some new young wr core. And obj will probably pull some diva shit soon enough or whatever. He. Presumes anyways. Or... hopes, moreso- NO FUCK. HE DOESN'T HOPE. THAT WOULD BE- it's just- well. I mean. If something WERE to happen then well- so be it...........

Anyways. It doesn't matter. He doesn't. He doesn't care. Because clearly. Lamar doesn't either, anymore.. and hollywood Definitely doesn't care about that....... because if, and this is an IF, he METAPHORICALLY DID . . he would miss it. He would miss it like a horrible person would AND HE DOESN'T ! BECAUSE

HOLLYWOOD

ISN'T

A

HORRIBLE

--

.

[ace-culture-is]

I’m alive btw just having no energy, stuff on my situation in the notes ig

[emp-blast]

apex au where they all work at McDonald's...

[s-wordsmith]

Hardison in The Three-Card Monte Job when he thinks Russian mob assassins are coming to their secret base to kill him: grabs his laptop (Hardison with a laptop is unstoppable), a couple stacks of cash (food and a safe place to crash), a bag of some kind (presumably to pack the laptop and cash into once he has a second), and a partial 2-liter bottle of orange soda. Just the necessities.

[lightgaswaterelectricityrent]

financial planners HATE her! local women thinks of cash as monopoly money