#tbh i do not read much at all anymore :( i used to read like 50 books a year...

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

14 + 25?

14. Favorite book you read this year?

umm i don't read much on my own but for school my favorite was probably Ready Player One? we're currently reading a book called Sabriel though and that's been super good...

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

oooh i can talk about my pokemon character :D his name is Hyacinth and he's a silly little farmer boy who has no fucking clue what's going on. his ace is a shiny mareep named Candy (who i am currently hunting for), and his team rn is Fidough, Sprigatito (who isn't going to evolve), Wooper, Ralts, Mareep, and Fletchinder :) the endgame team tho is shiny mareep, shiny sylveon, shiny fidough, clodsire, sprigatito, and fidough's evo that i can't remember the name of. it's not a mega-effective team but it's his team <3

[taetr4ck]

Not a request but WHICH SKZ/NCT MEMBER WOULD YOU FIGHT GO!

a/n : i just opened my tumblr after a good whole week and this is what i first read FUCK IT WE BALL ! doing all of them because i feel a bit silly today

contents under the cut

STRAY KIDS

BANG CHAN - no. this is self explanatory tbh. i would straight up ask him to marry me

LEE KNOW - i would. but in return he would tell me how much my parents wrecked my whole being so i'll end up tearing up in the corner

CHANGBIN - one slap from this man and i'm already out of this world. he can literally slap me and the next second i'm already in the fifth dimension. no words needed. i would not fight him.

HYUNJIN - i would and then fall in love in the process

HAN - how could i fight this man ? RUTHLESS.

FELIX - i don't have the heart to tbh. i'll cry before i even land my first hit

SEUNGMIN - big yes tbh. i feel like he's the perfect person to pick a fight with. our competitive ass won't give up so easily unless one of us isn't breathing anymore LMFAO

JEONGIN - this man would stab me before i even know it

NCT 127

TAEIL - one glare from this man and i'm already shivering. 50/50.

JOHNNY - i should be punished for forgetting to put him here. what was i thinking !!!! anyway !! i feel like he would be the one to initiate the fight LMFAO he would straight up come to me and just do a ‘let’s do a square’ ‘aight bet’ kind of interaction tbh he would be the funniest person to pick a fight with. i would fight him. he’d be my sparring buddy afterwards

TAEYONG - bro he's about to do his military service leave him alone 😭🙏🏻 poor bubu i would not fight him

MARK - i would. then we will start throwing rap verses (special mention to jopping) like we didn't almost stabbed each other earlier

JAEHYUN - one punch and my skull is already cracked in half. nope

YUTA - i would just straight up kiss him tbh i would not last for five seconds looking at him

DOYOUNG - he would verbal abuse me tbh that's enough to wreck me

HAECHAN - one michael jackson merch for him and he's wrecked so easily. i would fight him.

JUNGWOO - boy this man would bring a baseball bat even though we agreed to have a fist fight. cheater. i would fight him

NCT DREAM

RENJUN - his glare is enough to kill me. 50/50.

JENO - man idc this is jeno we are talking about !!!! he can punch me in the face and i would not bulge !!!!

CHENLE - man he is the worst person to fight. one word from him and i’m already having a mental breakdown. he would unwrap every inch of my traumas from childhood to present. i won't risk it 🫡

JAEMIN - no because we will have our silly little tea party while talking about cute and pretty things

JISUNG - the idea itself makes us both want to cry

WAYV

KUN - he's too good to pick a fight with. my conscience could never

TEN - big yes. put those slutty muscles to work boy !

HENDERY - we would have a fight in valorant and i'd lose. can't risk my reputation for that smh (kidding)

XIAOJUN - this man would straight up launch at me like a fuckin dog. i would fight him (affectionately)

WINWIN - no. i would ask him to be his gf. no explanation needed

YANGYANG - we would have a pillow fight and the next second he's already holding a brick. i said let's have a pillow fight not give me a fucking concussion 😭🙏🏻

should i add my taglist here omg

⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023. / requests open

[wrongcaitlyn]

AHHHH I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I SEND YOU TOO MANY ASKSMHFJGXJC BUT ANYWAYS- the greatest of luxuries takes place around 2018, right? Which is also coincidentally around the time tiktok got popular so just like hear me out-

Nico is a chronic tiktok user and definitely makes tiktok dances (he was supposed to use it for promotional purposes and it's not until Apollo asks him about it that he actually does)

Nico and Will are those tiktok friends, the kind that you see videos of and it just looks like they came straight out of a coming of age movie- same goes for whenever Leo is featured in Nico's tiktoks like they are so iconic

Apollo definitely gets tiktok for the shits and giggles, only to go accidentally viral constantly- like he could make one silly random tiktok of freaking alley cat he found and it'd get like 50 million likes 😭😭 (bros tiktok account consists of his children and their silly friends)

ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD DAY 🫶🫶🫶🫶

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TOO MANY ASKS I LITERALLY LIVE FOR THEM LIKE YES PLEASE ASK ME A MILLIION QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS AU THAT CONSUMES MY ENTIRE LIFELKSDF

and you are RIGHT OHMYGODSKLJF i keep thinking of a way to incorporate it bc rn they're in 2019, but i'm like, ahgsdf how do i bring in tiktok, do i make it a whole convo or just casually mention it orrrr

i do have quite a few tiktok headcanons in relation to them but i LOVE your ideas they're so real😭

these are the hc's that i had before reading this but tbh might have to go back to the drawing board on some of them becauseee i mean

(also i deleted tiktok a while back bc it was too addictive so tbh i have no idea what's going on over there anymore... nor was i there in the early daysSDLKF)

nico already strays away from social media quite a bit, and i think over the music industry changed, it's def encouraged for artists to like promote their music there and stuff. BUT. he has a bit of an addictive personality (relatable) and so when he eventually downloads it (because he would resist for a very long time) would get hooked. except he rarely posts, instead, he's that verified celeb account that you find in the most random comment sections and he spams all his friends with vids. he definitely gets a lot of pet videos i feel like, like the cute dogs and cats and he would send a vid of like yk YK WHAT VIDS IM TALKING ABOUT like two cats snuggling with each other or smth and send it to will with 'us' i just KNOW he would bc it's incredibly sappy but doesnt require too much descriptionsfkljs

he probably has 235829348 drafts and he mostly posts random stuff that's completely unrelated to his music. like i bet there would be a few people (when he occasionally says something related to his job) who didn't even know he released music despite definitely having heard it

i didn't really envision him doing tiktok dances eXCEPT maybe they all stay in his drafts. bc i dont think his vids would really be focused on *him* because he's not a huge fan of being on camera, so it'd more just be like those rants where you can only see his forehead or random studio vids oR TRAVEL VIDS WHILE ON TOUR. he would def do those. there's def some people who think he's a travel influencer and then find out he's a grammy award winning artist and are like ??? NICO?? FROM TIKTOK???

but he isn't called a "tiktok artist" despite some people knowing him from tiktok because he literally ALWAYS forgets to promote his own music in his vids. his fans are promoting it in the comment sections to try and get the people who think he's a travel influencer to listen to him😭

but his posting schedule is so very sporatic like he'll post ten vids in a day and then nothing for a month. it's fully based on vibes and is completely chaotic, just like everything else he does

will, like any other social media platform, has a private account. (nico also has a private spam) so will is that person who tags people in the comments like all the time (whereas nico sends it more often just bc he doesnt wanna risk being on the wrong account accidentally)

he appears a LOT on leo and lou ellen and cecil's tiktoks (and nico's) and every other week there's a huge internet search to find out who this guy is on a new famous person's tiktok account and then someone will be like "it's just will solace again HOW THE FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS FIND THESE PEOPLE"

like when he randomly shows up in taylor swift's getting ready for her nyu graduation post. like he's definitely there for a brief second in just like the reflection of a window or something and everyone goes CRAZY

before realizing it's this cryptid guy again who seems to be surrounded by every famous person to exist

he definitely posts a lot on his private account though and often it'll just be him rambling about something he's learned in class or him documenting every time he sees a cute animal in public

eventually he'll be dared to make a public account and he decides "haha that's funny okay sure it's not like anyone will find me"

WRONG. this guy is allergic to being not-famous. he will never be allowed to be a normal guy. his first video goes completely viral. he posts once in a blue moon, usually documenting his friends being crazy and every single time he does, it gets like a million views with people in his comments being "how does he know them???"

but you are DEFINITELY right about his account always seeming like it comes out of a coming of age story

and there are most definitely thousands of shippers in every single comment section with literally every friend. so he tries to have at least two other people in every single video so that people can't ship him with just one other person. but it's unavoidable. esp when he comes out as bi, people are just shipping him with ANYONE who shows up on his account

he also does those screaming lipsync vids to whenever a song by one of his favorite songs comes out he's a huge fanboy

OH and he gets to show off his vinyls there. he loves doing that. he's got so many and vinyl tiktok admires it.

also in every single video there's at least one comment that says "you look like apollo the singer"

EVERY SINGLE ONE

leo's the most active on tiktok, as he is with every other social media

it's either him building something, him setting something on fire, him with his friends, him talking to the camera while walking down the street (you know the genre of tiktok)

he is very similar to will in the aspect of "HOW DOES HE KNOW THEM??" but he's been a bit more public than will so people will know him more

he doesn't go viral as often as will (despite posting 132532x as much) but when he DOES it goes VIRAL viral. like tens of millions of views. it still happens quite often and he has the highest follower count of the friendgroup

and he's also the most active in comment sections like he's in every comment section you can't escape him and he replies to like every single one on his vids, usually with very cryptic responses that leave you with more questions than you started with

he ALSO tags will and nico in a bunch of videos, but not in a private account. he doesn't have a private account. he just tags them (obviously, avoiding any romance-related / stuff that could out them, in which he would send it to them) in EVERYTHING

and that's also the highest chance you have of will (on his public account) commenting on a video bc he's mostly on his priv

he also (when him and jason eventually come out) makes a million couple tiktoks and does all the trends

most recurring character in his vids are piper (and shel) (and will and nico over the summer when they're not so far apart)

apollo runs the account for delphi records

i know i haven't shared much of this BUT most people 100% assume that it's run by some intern or something bc of how casual it is but it's actually just him

he loves comment sections and hyping up all of his artists

oh BTW leo and will and apollo do all the promotion for nico because of how much he forgets about it

it's very common for nico to be posting a random ass video and then the top comment is Delphi Records ✓ Check out Nico's latest single, ______!

he also EVENTUALLY gets a tiktok for himself

that is just entirely his kids

as he should

aside from leo, i think kayla and piper are most active on tiktok

piper knows all the inner fandom details from shel (who has an editing account 100% bc i have an editing account and im projecting onto her)

piper's vids are mostly with leo they're such an iconic duo

idk why but all i can think of when thinking about piper is that her feed is like momona tamada?? like that's the vibe we're going for here

and ofc she promotes charities and other important topics there too!!!

and if there's a wlw trend going around yk that piper and shel are going to be on that first thing, probably the top video under whatever audio it is

and KAYLA. GOD. KAYLA'S TIKTOK IS SOOO ICONIC i think she's second to leo with most followers

the lip sync videos for sure, also out of all of them i think she'd def do tiktok dances she'd slay them all

and then some of them are just trends or her in the archery range

somewhat similarly to will, she often gets comments that say "how does she know them??"

but like a good 30% of people watching the archery events of the olympics are there just because of her tiktokSDLFKJS

she also happens to go viral. all. the fucking. time. like i swear apollo's kids just HAVE to go viral all the time they can't escape it they're made for fame and it's likeee kayla does love it (will not so muchKSDF and austin has avoided this problem by just not downloading tiktok at all! except apollo's video of him performing has gone viral. oh well.)

so those are my hc's feel free to add on to these!!! i would love to hear what y'all think bc AHGSDFL writing about these characters' social media is one of my favvv things to do - thank you for the ask!!!! sorry for the lengthy rambleKSDJF

[astralartefact]

FFXIV Dawntrail Review Part 1 - Where I tell you if I liked it and also Bingo(?)

This post contains spoilers for all of Dawntrail's Main Story up until the Ending!

Hmm.

I'm a little bit embarrassed to write this. I genuinely didn't expect this. Should I have? No. I was perfectly right to not see this coming.

I really loved Dawntrail. Like. You don't understand.

I don't really rank the FFXIV Expansions (except that Heavensward is last) but Dawntrail might be up there. It's 2:00 am and I will probably delete this when I reread it when I have slept over it, but I might genuinely call this my favorite X.0 so far. (read over it and at least for now i will stand by it) (keep in mind most enjoyed =/= best and "best art" doesn't exist)

I know it won't be popular in the community, I've already known that 30% through and by the many, many posts proudly announcing that they do not like Wuk Lamat it seems like that Dawntrail truly will be Stormblood 2.0 in the eyes of the public - but what can I say, I loved it. I had a fantastic time.

There is a bunch of criticisms I've read that I disagree with. I thought the WoLs place in the story was great. What do you people mean by 'We're not the main character anymore' it has literally always been like this except that usually we don't only have one dedicated Expansion Character that gets this much of a monopoly on screentime (see Ryne) - by which I mean, are you jealous? - but also that isn't 'bad', they're allowed to do that and I liked it. also how do you go through this expansion and arrive at "we weren't the main character" - bro, everybody told us at every corner how happy they are we're here bc without us none of this would remotely work. also they literally teased the key is an azem thing clearly this is build up for something

I liked the pacing, I enjoyed the slowburn build-up of Wuk going through the nuances of her people's individual problems before turning to the actual crisis. I know people are big mad that the MSQ gameplay is mainly just Fetch Quests and Cutscenes - which is something we'll get back to - but tbh I didn't even think it was that bad? I feel like we had expansions that were far worse about it....

I also loved Wuk Lamat! I liked that she grew relatively quickly and continouosly, aside from the Seasickness Joke they repeated too often, and I was surprised how much genuinely smart and thought through things she added to the conversation. One example I remember is her bringing up that she would rather learn and fix why people are committing crimes in the first place instead of just 'adding police' - without anybody prompting her to learn that. I don't know, I just really appreciated that.

I even liked Bakool Ja Ja, there I said it. I knew people would be really mad about Wuk just forgiving him and his dad especially after the kind of stuff they did - the internet has become really weird about forgiveness the past few years especially if it's "unearned" whatever that means - but like, you guys know this is a story, right, he didn't threaten to murder someone in real life. Immersion is good and all, but you know you're playing FF14, right, a game that's 50% a Saturday Morning Cartoon, 50% Game of Thrones for a Young Adult Audience. also it's kind of necessary for the theme of the whole narrative for him to do something we 'hate' him for more than the others - and i guess i would agree that they could have written the details around it better - but what's there is there for a reason. if you want to know more that's what Part 2 is going to be for.

Which brings me back to the Fetch Quests. Listen, I'm not really defending anything here, I do agree that the MSQ gameplay could probably be a little more engaging - There's just a thing I thought that keeps coming up in other contexts too:

At which point does this become a "Consumer Problem" instead of a "Developer Problem"?

We're five expansions in. If all expansions before have been structurally exactly like this, at which point is it your problem for expecting it to be different. What I mean is, if you played four parts of a Visual Novel and then you play part 5 and complain that the gameplay is getting stale, I hope we can agree that, like, that's a you problem. If you don't want to read then why are you playing a Visual Novel.

Again, I'm not really trying to 'defend' the core issue - even Serialized Mediums, for all the security their regularity brings them, should mix it up a little sometimes and expressing that want as an audience member is completely fine with me - but I feel like this is also at least a little bit a perspective issue. Like. I'm so sorry to tell you that this is just the game you're playing. This probably won't change and it's probably better to not expect it to for your own sake - and yes, I'm so sorry but to some degree navigating your experience of this game is your own responsibility. What I'm saying is Skip Dialogue if you're bored. Farm a Dungeon. Are you guys not doing Fates on your way to a quest marker? I keep seeing people say 'I didn't fight against a single monster as part of the msq' - Well, That wasn't a problem I had, I fought constantly! There are monsters right there for you to fight! Like. Make your own fun!

Anyways, time to look at my bingo card!

(My WoL = Happened, Krile = Depending on who you ask, Sphene = Jury is still out) Certainly better than my Endwalker one!!

One thing I noticed while playing Dawntrail is how bitter exactly Myths of the Realm has made me about this game and i'm so sad!! Like, how did I forget how completely this game is made specifically for me. I will just fail to not like it, because I get it and it gets me. at least until 8.0 when whoever wrote Myths of the Realm gets to write the expansion

Let's go through the noteable ones.

ill-advised azem lore drop - is in hot water, because they did seem to imply that the novelty wine glass of shard travel has to do with azem.

someone sundered knows more than us - krile's parents count and also Gagool Ja Ja's party too to some extent

the forgotten people went to tural - for two seconds!!! technically correct!!!

questionable armor design choices - some of the second dye slots. choices were made.

somebody "important" (but not too important) dies - i didn't expect them to write meaningful side character deaths, but they did so... i guess on a technicality i win?

the twelfth shard is involved // they talk about sundering meta physics

this room. they're so mean. they talk about the silly masks but not about the fact that apparently whatever shard this is either has three moons or two other planets in its solar system. you knew what you were doing q_q

y:da did it better - hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM A FOOL! MEGUMI ONOZUKA! I KNOW THIS WAS YOUR DOING AND YOU CANNOT HIDE ANY LONGER! YOU ARE NOW ON MY LIST OF NAMES TO SHOUT!!!! If my theory in Part 2 turns out incorrect then I'm so sorry about this, buT IF I'M NOT THEN---!!!!

Shaaloani did not win me over - it being the padding zone really didn't help.

Erenville did not Outfit Change - but given the ending he's probably going to at some point. And I hope he stays around :)

who needs eternal life anyways - They tried to be a little bit more understanding about it and make it a "it's just not worth what it costs" sort of thing, but they did still say at least once - verbatim! - that "Eternal Life is Bad, Full Stop, you people suck and are failing the human game by not dying"

Something Actually Unexpected Happens - I was surprised by the Final Zone. Maybe it's not Actually Unexpected because in a way it's just "Amaurot meets What Myths of the Realm should have been" - but if that doesn't count I still didn't expect the devs to fully ugly down that zone when you're done with it lol. Shutting down the first one and realizing they didn't just mean it would be left empty, it's dead and fully without music physically hurt and it made going through the other three hurt so much more. I loved it. Like. Wow.

I guess to that, I was indeed reminded of Myths of the Realm - but not in the way I intended this square to be so I didn't mark it. Like. I wrote this in another post but how were these two in development at the same time???? What??? They come to radically different conclusions on the exact same premise and the only difference is that one is about Religion and the other about Eternal Life????

Was the last zone the original draft for Myths of the Realm and then they were like 'no that's too good, let's do that in the MSQ instead' and then they panicked and produced godly waste?? God, I kind of hope, that would mean that whoever wrote it didn't wholeheartedly mean what they wrote.

I'm not willing to let Wuk Lamat Distaste be Asinine Community Reaction - sadly that was to be expected given how people still fervently hate Lyse. Similarly I haven't looked into what funny theme changing English Localization Moment they decided to add to the plot today. Btw German Localization, you are as always my heroes. Don't let the Haters tell you different, I will always love you!!! I wanted to screenshot your names in the credits for this but i HIT THE WRONG BUTTON SOMEHOW

Anyways, look forward to Part 2 where I will talk some more about why exactly I really like Dawntrail - which is mainly the Themes - about why I think Megumi Onozuka is to blame and about YORHA DARK APOCALYPSE, THAT'S RIGHT, I WILL NEVER BE FREE

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))

@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…

32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅

50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)

J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?

honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:

though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!

okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥

okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….

its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!

the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!

[homosapiennns]

LET’S TALK ABOUT MR. SADIK ADNAN AKA UNCLE DILF OF HETALIA

Sadık is an unique name. I never met a Sadık in my life. It means loyal. Adnan is usually a name, not a surname. It’s an old name, people don’t name their sons Adnan anymore. Both names are pretty masculine sounding. “Sadık” is pronounced S, A in dark, Dı is read the same as the word “the”, K is normal. Adnan is pretty easy, all As in our language are the same.

Sadiq is not a real name, we don’t have q in our alphabet. But I understand that people don’t know this so I forgive u guys 😙

Do I like his name? Tbh the first time I’ve seen it I didn’t, but I like it now. I can’t imagine him having a different name.

I have a few headcanons of him!!!

First of all, this man is LOUD. Like he is not shouting obv, but he talks loudly, energetically, and a little fast paced. He is extroverted, he can carry a conversation easily, and I can see him being “the dominant one” in a convo if it makes sense. Like u don’t have to worry about finding a topic bc Sadık naturally finds it.

His voice is deep.

He is friendly, but he doesn’t share his romantic life if it’s not a close friend. I can see him being close w Balkan countries, Bulgaria especially. A lot of Turks came to Turkey from Bulgaria in 50s and 90s (bc yk Ottoman Empire was there) But I think his personal relationship with Balkans doesn’t get affected by foreign policies. Bc fuck governments and politics. Anyways LOL. He is friends with Russia too. I read some RusTur fanfics? I don’t even know the name of the ship but it was fucking hot. He likes Europeans, Germany is his fave, but he isn’t close with them. Greece will have his own section 😉

He lives in Istanbul, in Anatolia side. He just can’t escape this city he loves it so much even tho it’s overpopulated.

He likes fishing like every uncle ever. He falls asleep in front of his TV like every dad. He loves drinking rakı and eating the fish he caught w it. He loves to eat, he has a dad bod. When he’s drinking he prepares the table like this n people go insane for it, also he always pays the meal’s bills. His hospitality has no limits like this man can die of hypothermia if it means his guests are warm and tucked in bed.

He has ZERO drip 😔 he has a beard n a hairy body. Idk why but I can’t rlly imagine him with abs. Maybe Osmanlı (Im gonna use Turkish bc Ottoman Empire is so long bro) had an athletic body, but Mr. Turkey just doesn’t care.

He loveeees cooking. Ok so Turks hate takeouts unless u live alone. If u go to a Turkish household and suggest that u want to order a pizza they will act like u just cursed their entire family. Sadık is the same unless he eats kebap outside bc mmm kebap is yummy.

He is a Muslim, not a hardcore tho, he only practices it in Fridays the same way Christians go to church in Sundays.

LETS TALK ABOUT OSMANLI OMG. So yk Mr. Adnan is friendly softie etc etc. But Osmanlı was different! I think his personality changed after the Turkish War of Independence and the Republic has founded. He had to change himself, we the people had to change ourselves to fit the modern Western world.

But at it’s prime Sadık was crueler, focused on wars and fighting and conquering, making his Empire bigger. He has seen many things. Had to betray, manipulate. He was impatient, cunning, cynical. He was never cold though. I think he was always sincere, like yeah his words hurt but he was telling the truth. I don’t like portraying him evil, like a villain. He doesn’t have a bad heart. He knows how to have a good time if u are his friend.

I think he got THE drip bro. Like his clothes were the most expensive fabrics, sewn by the best tailors.

His sexuality hmmm well 🤔 I think he likes woman but Osmanlı was really gay at that time. Lots of gossips about bisexual Sultans. So I hc him as bi leaning to woman. He loves woman but he bedded many manyyyyy men yk. Especially when he was younger and sexier and he fucked some Sultans with their wives. Like casual not-so-secret threesomes in Has Oda, yeniçeri’s blushing listening outside of their door (Sultan’s main bedroom 😉) he probably wanted to sleep w women in harem too but he couldn’t 😔 no men were allowed inside.

I don’t ship TurGre. I’ve read fics, some I really like, but when I think about it I feel weird and uncomfortable. I like their dynamic as complicated frenemies. Sadık was never a parent to Hera. I think their dynamic was like Romano-Spain. Boss and ??? Child??? I think Hera never did housework though. Humans already did that. When Hera was little, he hated Sadık. But as he spent time w him, he liked him a little bit. Sadık taught him many things, but he never saw him as his “son” or “student” it’s just. It was a land under Osmanlı, and Sadık wanted to know him. He looked after him of course, and he enjoyed his company. Telling him stories, traveling Istanbul, talking philosophy. We all know Hera loves philosophy. I also think they didn’t spend a lot of time anyway, Sadık was too busy.

Today, they pretend to hate each other but they don’t actually hate each other?? Wowneifnifj. It’s like Turkey vs Greece memes. Like they make fun of each other but it’s teasing, it’s not mean, both went through so many things. They both suffered n they understand each other.

AND TURKEY TOUCHES PEOPLE. A LOT. He hugs n slaps n pokes. Hera is used to it. Turks are touchy in general, including men. No boundaries at all. I’m glad Hima put this in the comic :D

That’s all about the Istanbul gentleman 😙✨

[klaustheclock]

Ok I'm sorry to like the 1 person reading this at the moment but-

Why do people think being the favorite and golden child is a good thing?

Because I'm sorry but its the worst thing ever.

Ok I'm sorry I not trying to sound rude or inconsiderate or selfish but it's really bad and I just need to rant my heart out.

Also my situation is a little different because I got really old parents(I'm talking in their 50s).

Ok so let's start with being the "favorite child". Also I'm sorry to all the people who had to deal with worst favoritism and being the unloved child. Ok so I know being the favorite sounds amazing on surface value but it's not. I'm the youngest and you probably expect me to be a spoiled brat who gets everything and narcissistic because I'm the "favorite". But that's far from the truth. I don't get everything I want, I have extremely low self esteem and I'm not a spoiled brat. I honestly used to this that all the stereo types about favored and gifted children were true but now I realize that for me and some others it's not. I used to beat myself up for these things and tbh I still do even though I've come to terms with the fact that there not true.

This is probably due to my siblings. I have two older sisters, both of which are in high school. Because my parents favor me more I have a strained relationship with them(if you can even call it that). There both incredibly bitchy to me and shit. There rude and they criticize my every more. They beat me down whenever they get a chance, even if I'm already at rock bottom. This is probably because they think they have to make me suffer because of our parents. Which isn't fair at all. I can’t even talk to them about my feelings because they'll use it against me or they just call me sensitive and won't give two fucks. They talk to eachother about there feelings and experiences all the time and just disclude me. They also talk about me behind my back and even to our parents. At first when I was younger I thought it was just them joking around with me but I realized when I got older that it wasn't. However my parents "favor" isn't even really big. Our parents still buy then what they want despite saying they wouldn’t. So they beg and get a lot of things but the moment I ask for a book or something there mad at me and calling me a spoiled brat. Which leads me to my next point.

Being the golden/gifted child

If I had a dollar for everytime I had a mental breakdown because of my grades I'd be a million air.

So I have something called academic validation. Meaning that my self worth is solely dependent on my grades. I was always a nerd but this is just to much. My oldest sister used to be in the same role but the pressure was lighter. So when she got into high school she said fuck school and started skipping classes and shit. This was bad but it didn't help that my brother who is 21 now did the same thing but worse. It started with my brother so our parents started to put pressure on my oldest sister and me, the youngest. They said the the middle child grades were fine even though they were lower the both of ours. We were always straight A students but then my sister decided she didn't care anymore that left all the pressure on me. I was only in 5th grade at the time so it was a lot on me. When I talked to my sister about it all she said was "don't care, deal with it". And so I did.

All my middle school years was just academics. I went to a Ib league school so the work was harder than your average American school. I sill managed to keep all A's but I wasn't happy at all. I never got anything for my academics anyway. My parents just brushed it off and said, "Your smart you should get these grades anyway. We shouldn't have to be expected to give you something." All I asked for was a good job or something like that. That night I broke down completely. Then I finally realized that no matter what I do ill never be good enough for anybody. I had no good traits about me. I hear no talent, I wasn't pretty, and I wasn't really a fun person to be around. I over thought everything I did so whenever we played games I couldn't deal with the pressure. Once one of my friends told me "your the only person who I know can make the game hangman unfun." It was supposed to be a joke and we laughed it off but that made me want to cry. That day i realized from another friend that we kinda grew up to fast. Looking at it now I didn’t really have a child hood. I was always fored to play catch up with my older siblings. I always had to be on par with them to even be looked at as a human being.

I was always the one people looked for help to with was good(I love helping people) but it kinda became overwhelming. I kinda just hide it with jokes about myself. I'm the therapist friend but yet I can't tell people my feelings. I can’t talk to my parents, my sisters, my friends, and I don't have a lover. They'll either just brush it off or not care at all. It hurts a lot. This leads me to often be confined and left alone with my emotions.

Which leads to me today. The me currently writing this long ass Ted talk. I have terrible anxiety and zero self worth and I feel the need to be validated with my grades and by the people around me. But even with all this I still feel empty. Like it's just hard. I turn to books and history to try and distract me but that can only take you so far. Also I find myself comparing myself to my friends because my parents always compared me to my siblings. I feel the emine pressure to fit into the mold my teachers, friends, and parents think I am and want. I work as hard as I can but it feels like I always come short.

I apologize sincerely if this comes off as selfish or narcissistic.

I wanna try and over come this and gain confidence in myself but it seems impossible. I'm still only in the 8th grade so maybe it'll finally dawn on me. It's just wherever I try to reach out for help I feel so selfish and entitled. It's like a voice in the back of your mind telling you "People deal with so much worse than this and you have the audacity to cry at these things? You shouldn't feel this way just suck it up. Your just weak, nothings wrong with you."

Thank you for listening to my rant, I apologize for wasting your time.

[fountainpenguin]

Frayed Knots 15,14,9,2

[Current Ask game]

Frayed Knots - Read on FNN || Read on AO3

#ridspoilers

---

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

My pacing's improved in more recent projects. Knots is pretty bogged down with things that still make me cringe, but it's also like that intentionally because it's Anti-Cosmo's bragging time and he takes pride in his memory and culture (plus he's long-winded in general and I wanted to reflect that). Still, I don't write in that style anymore (except for Knots since it's still ongoing, of course).

This 'fic was also my first (and only) long-term project with British English phrases and spellings, so I learned how to efficiently work as closely to that as I can despite not being a native user of those words.

I'm personally pleased with my success in creating a culture for the Anti-Fairies that's unique to them and completely at odds with Fairy World, but I acknowledge that the nature spirit stuff might not be everyone's cup of tea when they come to read a Fairly OddParents story, so I try to balance that.

There are a lot of little details in their culture that I really like, like Anti-Cosmo's claim that he's descended from the Teumessian fox and that he'd be an outcast if he shapeshifts into any animal besides a fox. Anti-Cosmo uses VERY little magic for the majority of Frayed Knots (using most of it during the war, and only when he has to) and I love both his attachment to his culture and the mental gymnastics he does every time he breaks the social norms.

I'm happy with how the Anti-Fairy culture came out, but it's also pretty far from the established canon and my interest tends to be higher when I'm working on something that's canon-compliant (such as writing a scene a character referenced off-hand in present day, or fleshing out the Wanda/Juandissimo relationship, or doing character studies), so... read that however you like.

[Cnt'd under the cut; content warning for mild 'adult themes' discussion]

tbh I've also enjoyed worldbuilding a fantasy sociosexual culture, because I thought it would be an interesting challenge that would add drastic context between Fairies and Anti-Fairies while also fitting well with their bat genetics and their social norms of accepting things that many Fairies recoil from.

Ex: You're much more likely to accept bullying and theft as acceptable behavior if your social norms already permit a flock hierarchy of creche fathers fighting for dominance. It's easy to be at odds with Fairy World when they mock your cultural beliefs, such as by insisting that Anti-Fairies are a shadow of their Fairy counterparts and wouldn't exist without Fairies, when clearly all the proof points to Anti-Fairies being unique creatures of smoke that grow attached to other creatures and reflect their appearance because of it.

Since the Anti-Fairies are antagonists in the show, I wanted to set up the appropriately "cruel and evil" vibe of their modern leadership while ensuring there's justification in their culture to explain why people might turn towards a leader who embodies strength.

Mm, I'd also say I learned I don't enjoy this vibe of romance? I don't hate romance... I just either need it to be blatantly shallow or deep and complicated in a way that's amusing. The late part of the A.C. and A.W. relationship is super messy, which fixes the boredom for me, but I don't love how these early stages are working out.

In the original draft, A.C. and A.W. barely interact until their honey-lock, which would be about 40-50 chapters in. Well, probably less since we can cut most of the Anti-Wanda content from the story. I personally feel like "barely interacting until they're pushed together" fits their personalities a lot better than meeting in their youth, but... I genuinely didn't think people would have the patience for that, so I adjusted Knots to include Anti-Wanda scenes earlier.

It's probably the right call, and maybe some people enjoy the romantic bits more than I do, but they just read as cliche to me so I struggle with liking them. There are a lot of romance tropes I dislike (such as denying your attraction in front of others) and the romantic side of Knots doesn't vibe with me the way that the "animal people politics" parts do, but I do my best.

I'm satisfied with the character goals Anti-Wanda has so she has actual stuff going on in her life (including emotionally rough and some very messed-up stuff). If these were my OCs then I think Frayed Knots would be what it is without the Anti-Wanda ship at all (and/or she'd be sprinkled in occasionally until she shows up during the honey-lock for real), because I think that's my preferred romance story for them. I don't really vibe with them hanging around each other for so many years; it just feels forced to me.

Also Anti-Wanda can do better.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I hope it's obvious that I'm writing an evil villain backstory and that there are many, many things in this story that should not be glorified. Anti-Cosmo makes some seriously messed-up decisions throughout this 'fic, which is written for entertainment and not to be a guide for healthy relationships.

Same goes for Origin. Everyone sees themself as the hero of their own story. If you forget they're canonically the villains and they do some messed-up stuff that I would never condone IRL, I will cry.

Honestly if anyone's learned to love the Pixies, I'd be happy. Especially H.P. <3

Also if anyone develops an affection for the episode "Balance of Flour" and the characters in it, I'd like that. Anti-Bryndin makes his only appearance in this episode. No name, no dialogue, no context... but he's my boy.

Also, even though neither H.P., Sanderson, nor Anti-Cosmo is a ""good and correct"" representation of asexuality (i.e. in terms of healthy relationships), they are still ace. If anyone has learned more about asexuality through this 'fic (either from H.P. working out his feelings or because they were exposed to the concept here and did more research on their own), I'd be content with that.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yeah, you could say that. The official scrap doc for Knots alone is 25k words right now. It grows regularly, and that doesn't include the existing chapter drafts.

Perhaps the biggest change is that in the first draft, Anti-Cosmo's dad is alive, but walked out on his family. I do miss that. Once you commit to killing a parent when your protag is a baby, it's difficult to give them baggage or messy relationships with said person, who frequently gets romanticized. A.C. is absolutely romanticizing the father he never knew, who wasn't as great a person as he likes to think.

Another massive change was that originally, Anti-Cosmo's parents lived in a manor house. They were nobility, but didn't live in the castle. Anti-Bryndin was leader, but flock dynamics didn't exist in the worldbuilding so there wasn't any reason for them to live in the castle. The reason Anti-Cosmo lives in the castle in Knots right now is because his mother was brought under Anti-Bryndin's wing and she gave birth to both her children there.

I very briefly considered Anti-Wanda as heir apparent to Anti-Fairy World and Anti-Cosmo married into the family and that's how he rose to power. That's actually the world my short story "King Me" takes place in, and hopefully I'll be able to get it to a state I'm happy with so I can share it soon. It was drafted back in 2016. It's waited this long; it can wait until it feels right.

Oh. The earliest draft of Origin of the Pixies didn't have Anti-Cosmo show up until Anti-Sanderson had taken over as leader of the anti-pixies, and H.P. had to request permission to cross into Anti-Fairy World to talk with him.

I would say my happiest change in all my FOP works was switching that so H.P. and A.C. interact a ton more in their younger years (although if you look carefully at my earliest pieces like "Open Your Eyes," I think it shows that they were written for a world where A.C. and H.P. barely interacted).

Theeeeee other big change I could mention is Anti-Cosmo's.... ?? friendship? affair?? interaction with Prince Eastkal after the chapter "Deep" (where A.C. saves Eastkal's life and begs him not to confess, for the whole "I'll be disowned if they find out I shapeshifted into a dragon" bit).

In the current version, A.C. gets distracted [cough] and fails to meet the prince as promised. This leads Eastkal to pursue him several chapters later, with Eastkal making multiple attempts to talk to A.C. during "This Close to Heaven", "Floodgates," and "Crossroads". It works, but... it saddens me because this is not the attitude Eastkal has towards Anti-Cosmo in future chapters, which were drafted years ago with the assumption that they met up right after the dragon fight :/ I like the vibe of the first better and regularly wish I hadn't cut it.

Actually, that's another thing I've learned from Knots (and I even wrote a Tumblr post about this months ago before setting it aside under the belief no one would want to hear my vent about it). I cut that scene hoping it would be better for the story's flow and because I was tired and wanted to get to the zoo stuff, but since this is my fanfic I write for fun, I should've just let myself follow the direction I wanted to go. It's frustrating to want to write characters behaving a certain way because of what that cut scene would have done, and then having to change it back to what's "actually canon."

In my first draft, A.C. did meet Eastkal as planned (in the Pink Castle) and it involves a lot of soul-searching on both their behalfs. In current Knots, Eastkal does feel grateful that A.C. saved his life, but boy do I miss the dialogue of the original scene.

I cut the main scene because it was several thousand words on top of a very long chapter... I'd already split "Deep" into... 5 chapters at that point? And I really wanted to wrap up Arc 2 without struggling with another chapter, especially if it might wreck "the vibes." I convinced myself it broke the tension (Going from dragon attack to peace and then zoo), but it's the scene I regret cutting most, because there have been multiple times this year that I've wished it was there because I think it's important to show how A.C. acts (and because I think the scene's hilarious).

This cut meeting inspired Eastkal's attendance during migration season. Frayed Knots can work around not having that scene, but if I can mimic it, that would be nice. The lame part is that it probably would've been nicer right after the rescue, to increase tension of being caught fraternizing with the enemy. I'm trying to find a place for it that's not too near the war.

On reason Knots has been delayed so long because I've been looking for a good way to fit it back in to the timeline, but it was very specifically written for that scene, in that location, so it's rough. There's that and because Cosmo and Wanda are about to become notable, and I don't want to mess up this first meeting between A.C. and Cosmo), so... it'll come! Just been on a necessary hiatus.

I also have a scrapped scene where Anti-Cosmo babysits a nest of spirit eggs, but that got cut because the story is long enough without it. There's a lot of spirit stuff in the second half of Knots and I'm trying to decide how much should be cut... I'd like to end it sooner rather than later. Definitely hoping to post more regularly in 2024.

2. What scene did you first put down?

I think the earliest scene in the story was originally going to be its opening: Anti-Cosmo watching his father pack his suitcase as he prepares to walk out on the family. It would predate my scrap doc, but I might have salvaged something.

Mmm, I didn't find it atm, but I think it was rewritten into a very rough draft of A.C. reacting to his brother leaving shortly after their father's death.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, clinging to the door. “Of course,” he snorted. “The green needs me now more than ever.” “But then I’ll be left alone with Mother.” I glared at the ground. Anti-Schnozmo rubbed my hair, kissed my forehead, and then swept out the door. When I was young, I didn’t understand why we lived in the castle. But I was a smart pup, so I began to put the pieces together, of all the times I’d walked in on Anti-Bryndin kissing my mother.

^ Obviously a very rough version, but a lot of my drafts are this vague to get the story beats down before I flesh them out over weeks, months, or even years.

With polish, I think this would have made a great opening to Knots as well since it immediately sets up A.C.'s difficult relationship with Anti-Schnozmo, that his dad is dead, that he doesn't want to be left with his mom, A-Schnoz's motivations to carry out his father's legacy, and one of the core themes of Knots which is Anti-Cosmo's desire to be wanted.

The current opening of the story is there to establish worldbuilding, especially with the newborn smoke forms (something Anti-Fairies and Fairies can't see eye to eye on). The first chapter is pretty confusing and if I were writing commercially, I think I'd go with the brother walking out. But I wanted to write a longform 'fic about complicated worldbuilding and Anti-Fairy culture and that's exactly what I did, with the establishing shot to open it.

Thanks for reading! Hopefully these were interesting thoughts. Ask box is always open if anyone wants to ask more stuff like this; a lot of the time I tag these things as "director's cut" and I do enjoy sharing what the alt versions of my stories were.

[Current Ask game]

[rinhaler]

The anon who just found out u were fuwushiguro here!!

Yes I absolutely understand the frustration from not performing as well with follower count to likes ratio - as an artist who used to be quite popular and likes went from thousands to only like seventy. At some point you feel like you’re not doing it for you, but actually for others. I’m happy you realised the happiness can come from writing and not only hate.

The friend who left you I can also relate to a bit, my ex best friend of 6 years also left me quite recently and it was like there was an empty hole in me because even if you’re not friends anymore, your brain can’t quite handle the change. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but the greatest challenge is to not only hold yourself to one person but to be open and try new possibilities, and that’s what you’ve seemed to done! You have new friends, new mental attitude, and a brand new beautiful blog (that I love the theme of btw!!!) You’re doing great and will continue to do so, because if there are 100 rinhaler fans I’m one of them, if there are 10 rinhaler fans I’m one of them and if there are none, I’m dead.

Also to the question you had, idk it’s just the way you describe certain things..? It’s hard to explain, I have about 50 fanfic blogs that I really love the writing of and fuwushiguro was one of them. Your world building, character description as well as development, SO GOOD!! And your wusyaname series was amazing, I used to check your blog religiously for any updates, and I’m happy you’re reuploading them here bc now I’m gonna reread them every week!

Also the way you wrote yuuji in the aita!sukuna fic was extremely similar to the first few chapters in wusyaname before he goes on that trip (if I remember right)

Have a great day/night :D

omg ARTIST AAAAAA im obsessed I'd love to see your stuff if you ever feel comfortable sharing with me sometime but no pressure ofc! I know it's very personal! ive been trying to get more into art but im finding it hard to balance practicing art stuff and writing. I also have massive art insecurity bc I don't think I'm good enough (same with my writing) so I totally understand if u wanna keep it all to yourself but go you for being a talented babe <3

interactions on tumblr suck and I'm starting to be able to tell myself it's purely luck what performs well and what doesn't, so I'm finding it a lot easier to write things I actually want to write now rather than what I think my followers will like.

Also yeah in regard to my friend, we were online friends and we'd only known each other for around two years but god i adored her and i still do tbh. I think about her and our memories all of the time we were so so close so her decision to just randomly cut me off really hurt. I'd love to talk to her again but I know I have to respect her decision and I wish her the best!

It's been a good opportunity to get back into writing so at least something nice has come from something so sad. And I love this little space so much! I'm glad you like my theme! It was greenish at first n i was like nope this aint the one i am a pink girl through and through!

ALSO AAAA THE WAY IM BLUSHING ABT AITA YUUJI BEING LIKE WUSYANAME YUUJI UR SO RIGHT 😩 definitely not intentional but god maybe i missed him more than i thought! I'm so excited to be reposting it though it's going to be like living through the magic of it all again and hearing what everyone thinks and stuff! I haven't read it in so long so I feel like I'm right there with you all hehehe

anyway thank you for supporting me always ur literally the best i adore u pls take care of urself mwah mwah mwah

[fangaminghell]

Random Facts about the Reborn Trio?

Probably already mentioned these already but:

Leo likes shiny rocks. Shiny things in general tbh. He is very good at noticing hidden stuff because of this.

Unlike most of the voided, Suraya actually explored the void during her time there. I mentioned that she quite fought void demons, and I meant that literally.

Blair is studying to be a professor for all of the post game. Xe don't become one officially until much later, though.

Leo pole dances. He got into it as he was healing from Richard.

Suraya, despite her often reigning Leo in with his over the top romantic gestures, is honestly just as much as romantic as he is. She still has a level head, and tries to approach things practically, but if you're lucky you can catch her In The Moment. She's as corny as her dad and has made puns/ used tactics she read in manga( classic cornering someone against a wall. It worked on Saphira once )

Since Blake helps babysit Lilith, it's only fair xe help with Heather, even when she insists she doesn't need it. Blair is actually really good at doing braids, so Heather would ask xem to braid her hair ( to match Shelly lol).

Despite Leo's strength with his psychic powers, he doesn't really use them that much. Richard used to pester him about it, but he doesn't exactly see the point? He still refines his skills so he doesn't lose control, and he generally levitates himself or objects. But other than that, he doesn't use his powers often unless he feels like he needs to ( or when he feels particularly lazy).

Suraya has always been strong, but the time in the void really boosted her strength. I can see her being able to arm wrestle with Samson, and winning. Though it's a 50/50 chance on that one, Samson is strong.

When Blair gets flustered or embarrassed xyr face goes completely red. It's very noticeable since xe are pretty pale.

You know. I think all three are pretty touch starved. Like think about it. Despite there efforts now, Navin and Astrid neglected their kids when they were younger, so they never got that physical affection they craved. And Blair. Well. *gestures to xyr entire backstory* yeah. Suraya is very good at giving her affection- partly due to her kind nature but also because her being a heir to a company, she's expected to give a lot. Needless to say, she melts at physical touch. Especially when she's told that she doesn't need to be the supporter anymore. The same with Leo. He melts when he feels safe, and thus gets "clingy". Blair is very much not used to positive physical affection, so xe keep a distance most times, but deeply craves it. Xe doesn't know how Blake of all people was able to see this vulnerable side to xem, but xe aren't exactly mad about it. Suraya and Leo ( alongside xyr pokemon) were the first to see this side of xem of course.

That's all I can think of. I hope this was satisfactory.

[pulchrasilva]

1, 2, 5, 6, and 50! Feel free to answer any or all of them!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Probably i know a place where the pain doesn't reach. I think it's the fic that best captured the exact Essence™️ of what I was going for and a lot of my best fics feature a similar kind of soft reconciliation hurt/comfort i think

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

In order: Angst, Fluff, Polyamory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Compliant

Yep that's extremely accurate. I feel a little called out actually lol. Just realising that all the fics I've written featuring a romantic relationship have been polyships wow

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

I think about this is where i leave you, I'd like someone to ask what actually happened to Romulus after his split himself. It's something that Janus wonders about in the first chapter. I'd like to think that his consciousness still exists somewhere in Thomas's mind, he just doesn't have the role of creativity anymore. He's like a kind of ghost, he has no body, floating around and watching over Janus and the twins. Grieving when they fight, grieving when Janus grieves him. He'd be really happy that Janus managed to make up with the twins I think.

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Something Irrevocable never actually says what happened to Rowan (an oc)'s baby cousin. I mentioned that he made a lopsided little teddy bear for his cousin and then after the apocalypse happened we see a purple teddy bear on the side of the road and it's missing an arm. Tbh i don't really have an answer to this but I made myself so sad with that detail so I wanted to do something with it. He's definitely not dead, that would make me too sad. I have an idea for a hypothetical spin-off about Carlton Drake (who was the main villain in the movie but basically irrelevant and kinda pathetic in the fic) which was gonna use his affection for kids as a somewhat-redeeming quality, and I was gonna put Rowan's cousin in there.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Gonna choose 49: What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

You mayy or may not have heard a little about this fic, but I'm currently working on a fic for roleslaying week with the working title "flaredrum mft ftm solidarity fic". It's from Djembe's pov but it's about Youngblood's time at the Bard College pre-canon, her relationship with Noise and her gender. I wouldn't say it explores Djembe, but it does also explore who I like to imagine Djembe is (tbf we don't know much about him yet!) Oh and it's also about how the Bard College is a fucked up toxic environment in sooo many ways.

Here's an extract from the most recent scene I wrote:

You know," Viola said after a few minutes of silence, pointing a chip in his direction. "Sharpe's not wrong." "About what?" "Connections are just another thing to manipulate. People don't really have friends here." Djembe laughed. "So what are you and I then? "Are you kidding?" Viola said, not a trace of a smile on her face. "You're top of the class, all the teachers love you." His smile dropped. "So?" She shrugged. "I need to keep my grades up if I want to become a captain." Djembe felt something shatter.

Made myself real sad with this whole scene tbh

[kiindr]

Hi, so I saw that you said peeps can send in rants, and I realllllllllllly would love to rant. If you did not mean this, or do not want to reply - you can delete it. I will not be offended in the slightest! No trigger warnings, only family issues (and also please don't tire/burn yourself out with this blog. Even just listening/reading about others' issues is draining).

Backstory/context:

I'm a 24 year old female, recently diagnosed with autism. Not good socially, but not terrible. I'm kinda like Katniss Everdeen tbh.

I was working as a bartender at a wedding venue. The building is owned by a well-known wine creator/seller, who leases it to my aunty so she can do weddings there (so she owns 50% of the business, the other is with a friend/chef. They've known each other for 25 years).

I have just only been diagnosed with autism (I was diagnosed multiple times beforehand, so it's been a big few weeks). I have social anxiety and if things get too much, I usually have emotional reactions - but I've learned to walk away, go somewhere and cry for a bit, calm down, dry my tears and get back in there.

I've been working there for over a year now, and last week she fired me from my bartending job, saying I'm too emotional and that "I should be happy at work, because people can tell when I'm not."

It was done over text message by my manager who says I should go to the cafe to work (so they aren't 'firing' me per say, but they are ...) However, working at the cafe I would only be filling up waters, and getting drinks (what the other owner's 16-year-old daughter does.) They also won't let me work the one wedding this weekend. I'm just flabbergasted.

I had to message my aunty to see what was going on, because they'd been completely fine with me working this position for a year. I've put up with a lot from customers. Verbal abuse (being called c*nt, a stuck-up b*tch etc) all because I won't give them alcohol, as well as nearly being physically assaulted. So I've dealt with a lot of bullcrap.

But I've also done big weekends with 4 weddings, literally only 3 weeks ago and nothing was said then? I've never had any feedback. No one taught me (except my other aunty who was in this bartending position but she was drunk all the time. And she never got in trouble, like I'm talking stealing alcohol from the venue aka my aunty who owns the business, I'm also pretty sure she was stealing from the cash register and would take things - once a groom had cigars and before they even used them, she stole one???). So, what I'm trying to say, is I was a fantastic worker. In the whole year and a month I was there, I only had 6 days off total.

I was helpful to others, kept everything on track. So I can only deduce that business owner! aunty is upset with how I interacted with customers? But I asked my coworkers and they said I was fine??? That I was great until the customers started getting rude.

There's also been a new manage/supervisor, lets call him John. He's only a few years older than me, I previously worked with him for a small time when I was 18 at a hotel. He knows alcoholic! aunty because they've worked together for years at different hotels.

My stepdad and mum, who are very very supportive of me right now, think John has a bartender friend and his trying to get them into my job?

I just don't understand. I'm family, business owner! aunty has been an integral part in my life. She's been at big events and shown that she loves me. But right now it's like she hates me?

When I messaged her, it was basically, "you get too upset. I'm too worried that you will be emotional, you're overthinking this. The bar isn't right for you, it's been an ongoing concern and it's a business decision, not a personal one. I'm not texting anymore. Happy to talk face to face."

So I've said "okay when can we talk face to face" (even though I am sh*tting myself even at the thought. She's been described as a viper, and has started a family fight in the past; nearly having a punch on with my mum.)

AND SHE HASN'T REPLIED.

Sidenote: I don't want to work at the cafe because:

It's the principle of it; it's being demoted and it's embarrassing. But also the fact that no, I'm not too emotional. A workplace needs to be safe and keep their staff feeling safe (it's very unsafe - that's why there's such a high staff turn over.)

I don't want to work with alcoholic! aunty because she's done some really really traumatic things to me in the past (it was including a knife but I'm not going to go into that).

Anyyywwwaaayyyy, If you read all that. Thank you so much. I'm sorry it's so long. I hope you have a great day, a great month, a great life. You deserve it x

TW: family issues

hello, thank you for sending in your rant <3

wow, that really is a lot to go through. your reasons for not wishing to work at the cafe are totally valid. nothing is more important than your safety and providing such a basic need to one's employees is the most crucial responsibility of an employer.

it sounds like nobody is giving you any real and honest reasons as to why you're being technically fired. i can only imagine how frustrating that must feel.

from what you just told me, i can see how hard you have been working and how seriously you take your job. i hope that your aunt comes around and sees it. and even if she doesn't, i hope that you find a workplace that treats you well.

you deserve kindness, respect, and appreciation for your work. please take care <3

i'm sending you lots of support and comfort! please feel free to reach out again if you need to vent and you found this helpful :)

[trapper-faggot]

Thank god im getting hours again

long ass ramble under the cut

So I'm back at my old job.

I worked there August-early December as the head of an after school program, where I completely burnt out. I was working 45-50 hour weeks constantly, always on call, always stressed, so I hit my breaking point and quit. However I made a point to do so on good terms, and left the possibility of subbing open.

Well I lost 2 whole fucking months to depression, and job hunting is hell, and so I reached out to my buddy who is a site director at the site closest to my old one. She got me 3 shifts last week, and I could have picked up a 4th just I was busy when she messaged me. This week I have 3, potentially 4 once again.

And like... I LIKE the work, I love playing with kids, I love the routine, I love teaching. This job allows me to sit, hell sometimes large chunks of my shifts end up "racing a kid in long division cause he just learned and is super excited. this excitement is contagious and soon there are 5 children cramming around solving math problems" or "kindergartner spends recess showing me how good she is at hop scotch and karate and ballet and ballet karate"

Also?? I am DAMN good at my job. I am! I can admit that! My first ever job was teaching, I baby sat a lot, I genuinely really enjoy playing with kids and teaching. As a site director I was immensely overworked but it was universally agreed upon that I was thrown into a bad situation and did an amazing job all things considered! I held that place together until I couldnt anymore, and sounds like its still a mess over there, which tbh is validating. I am on top of things! I am a very good employee and teacher! As a former site director, I understand the back workings of everything, and what needs to be done. I actually made myself look good, because I remembered that since I was last there they had added a new government training needed for my file, and asked my friend if she could send me a link so I would be 100% up to date. Given that a lot of teachers are behind on or not doing their trainings, this makes me look fantastic.

AND!!! The pay is SO good. Like until I get my first paycheck I don't know what my exact rate is. but minimum wage here is around 15, starbucks I think i was getting 15.25, and this job starts teachers at fucking 19 an hour. As a site director I was getting 23 an hour, but post taxes it ended up closer to 19 cause it was a higher tax bracket. But like...either way. This job pays fucking bank if you can do the work.

And like... at the end of the day I am valuable and needed. The company has been having a lot of staffing problems, both from high turnover in the educational/childcare sector in general, but also because of federal background checks being super super slowed down. (this might not still be a problem but it was from july to december of last year). Other than this one training I am 100% trained. In fact for the position, over trained. I am comfortable with the job, know how things work, and like whether I'm officially a site director or not that is still a cohort I used to belong to, and I'm still in contact with one of them. I know people at most if not all sites, the district manager really liked me, and had actually tried to get me to stay by suggesting I step down to a teacher position, like I'm trying to get now.

IDK. Sorry if you've read all of this and are expecting a point, its just...so much to think about. Like...I left this job for a lot of reasons, but one was that I wasn't fully qualified for the position I was in legally speaking, and I was basically being slowly be replaced embarrassingly, cause everyone knew me as the one in charge but suddenly I wasn't. But I'm still a good teacher, it was just a bad situation. And like...theres a lot of teachers out there that aren't that great, but all the site directors in the area as well as the district manager know I'm damn good. And its this weird position where I'm basically walking in like "sup I'm back, you know you missed me, give me shifts, I can do whatever where ever, you know me" And so far it seems to be working.

[sapphicflower-ao3]

fic writer asks - obviously you don't have to answer all of them, but:

3, 10, 12, 34, 45, 50

hehe of COURSE i will be answering all of these bean!! love ya, thanks for asking! <3

(the fic writer post in question)

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

goddd. with me, it's definitely 'love confessions,' 'yearning,' and comedy! sometimes light miscommunication, but that's just the deal with bkdk i guess... i actually made some memes for this before ahahah

10. How do you decide what to write?

unlike many cool writers, i don't have that many AUs in my head that i'd like to write. there's just one or two solid ones floating around (out of the many other fleeting ones), and those are the ones where i feel like i would die if i didn’t write them, so theyre the ones which come alive!

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

UM LOL a lot of them are embarrassing but i guess i don't dislike a/b/o anymore (even though i still rarely read it). i can't think of much else tbh, i cast a pretty wide net for reading

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

mostly the comedy, but it's also certain memories i have! like for example in "in your dreams nerd" when deku is talking about his two neighbours that are enemies with each other but have dogs that love each other, that’s a real story from my childhood lol

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

100% the characterisation and the emotional pacing in my writing. i refuse to look at my first bkdk fic but i KNOW it was seriously lacking in both.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

it was hard to choose but i'm gonna go with 42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

basically any comment from peona, and also this one!! tbh idk why this comment in particular has stuck with me for so long. the last time i heard from this commenter was in 2020 and this comment was left on a fic of mine that i hate, but for SOME REASON i still think about it. i think it's the reassurance that someone out there resonates so much with my writing!

[hismercytomyjustice]

Omfggg I cannot believe my little BG3 fic is about to hit 70 subscribers!!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

It is wonderful and terrifying all at the same time haha!!! It’s also weirdly humbling knowing almost 70 people trust me and this story enough to want updates as it’s posted???

Thank fuck I’ve written most of it already because otherwise I would be STRESSING TF OUT.

I crossed the 75k word threshold the other day. The 75k maximum I thought I would probably hit seeing as I’ve never written much over like 50k before and that was only once in the fanfic world and 3x in the “this will likely never see the light of day” original work world haha.

PLEASE TELL ME HOW THE FUCK I STILL FOUR FULL CHAPTERS LEFT TO WRITE.

In the event you clicked to see more, just know you’re about to see a lot of rambling of mental health and writing.

I’m winding down chapter 14 now and chapter 18 is at least 50-75% done after I skipped to it in a panic due to the massive writers block I hit in 13 over hardcore stressing over my characterization of Cazador. Just “he is not being horrible enough, he needs to be more horrible, but not too horrible or this fic will need to be even longer and I’m already wildly out of my word count comfort zone” lol.

So that leaves the tail end of 14 and 18, and then I just have to write 15, 16, and 17.

Oh thank fuck. It’s only three I thought it was four full length ones left. Oh god. This simultaneously brings me relief and anxiety lmaooo.

Oh god.

But this fic is going to have such a special place in my heart because writing it has reminded me THAT I LOVE WRITING.

I’ve barely written in the last decade for a variety of reasons and tbh until I started writing this fic, I was starting to wonder if I really even enjoyed writing and wanted to do it anymore.

Not because I didn’t, but because the level of passion I used to have for it seemed to just be…missing? I kept thinking “it’s so weird how writing used to be such a huge part of my life and now I never seem to be able to do it or want to do it”.

I’ve come to realize in the last month or so, the biggest culprit was my previously semi-diagnosed OCD. Second biggest may have been my definitely undiagnosed ADHD.

Any time I’d try to sit down to plot or draft or anything I would get into OCD spirals and either completely talk myself out of it or get into it for a little bit and then hit a roadblock in the story I couldn’t get past or convince myself what I wrote was awful and no one would ever want to read it because I would get bored writing it so why the hell would anyone want to read it? So then I’d convince myself I needed to read up on the craft of writing to make up for my deficiencies. And the more I learned the more I realized I didn’t know or the more deficiencies I saw and the more I’d get into my own head.

I spent some much time kind of wishing I hadn’t read so many books, went to so many convention panels, listened to so many podcasts about writing, etc. Because any time I looked at a blank page, I couldn’t get out of my own head enough to fucking WRITE.

Just an endless stream of: The first line is super important and has to hook the reader, make sure you start in the middle of the story, your protagonist should have xyz, your villain should have abc, every sentence should do more than one thing, if you don’t regularly make time to write you’re not a real writer, all these other people make time to write and their lives are way busier than yours so what’s wrong with you, you must hate writing otherwise you’d actually do it, you’ll never get anything published because you lack discipline, etc etc etc.

I just desperately wanted to go back to the days where I could just flip open a blank notebook and go to town without giving a shit about what anyone else thought a story had to be and without second guessing every single letter I put on the page.

And then such a weird combo of stars aligned that finally made me remember why I fucking love writing and why I do it in the first place???

Consuming media that makes me passionate about storytelling and reawakens my creative drive.

My friend offhandedly mentioning she writes on her phone sometimes and isn’t a phone kind of like a little notebook you can carry around and whip out whenever? Bonus, you don’t have to retype everything after writing by hand!

Getting officially officially diagnosed with OCD. Third therapist’s is a charm amirite? If I had a nickel for every therapist who told me I was exhibiting signs of OCD I’d have three nickels… I didn’t even go to my current therapist for OCD. My former therapist suggested finding a specialist in exposure therapy to help with an unrelated phobia (I will not go into on here and probably never will because it’s deeply personal) and the specialist I found happens to specialize in OCD because exposure therapy is often used to treat it.

And my current therapist taught me what OCD thought spirals are, how they start up, how they take root, how they get out of control. Suddenly it wasn’t just “oh, I have anxiety so I need to use decision techniques to combat it” it was “ohhh this is therapy designed with my brain in mind and my brain isn’t as weird or scary as I thought.” It’s just wild to spend decades of your life thinking your brain is fucked up and you don’t understand what’s wrong with it so how could anyone but then you get a literal fucking worksheet that maps out an example spiral with a note on it that reads “this you?”.

Specifically, she taught me about Inference-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (ICBT). If anyone reads this and is curious about ICBT. this article does a pretty good job of explaining it.

It was just wild to look at this piece of paper that was like “oh, no, this is a regular/common enough brain thing that we’ve done research on it and made a fun little worksheet for it” that makes it all feel so weirdly mundane and less scary as a result? Like decades of “I’m scared of my own brain” turned into “your brain isn’t scary, there’s a clear pattern to this kind of thing and lots of people go through it”.

And then I decided to take piano lessons. Because I started writing a POTO AU before I started my BG3 fic and I remembered how much I loved music in the same way. How much I enjoy the violin but struggle to get myself to play now that I’m not part of an ensemble. And that was another thing I haven’t found much joy in lately either.

And my OCD went off the fucking RAILS with that. Because of all my insecurities around being someone who always struggled to practice regularly and realizing how much of a refresher I needed on music in general after so much time away. Leaving lessons wanting to cry because of how fucking stupid an inept I felt and being utterly convinced I was wasting my teacher’s time.

BUT. Because of ICBT and my therapist, I could see I was hardcore OCD spiraling. It marginally helped because at least part of me was like “okay, these feelings aren’t the truth and they are irrational” even as I still struggled to find any actual self-compassion over it all. Because why the fuck is wrong with me it’s piano, I am paying for lessons, I do not have to be perfect. My therapist insisted my only obligation was to just show up for the lessons and SHE IS RIGHT. Like, yeah, it’s great to practice and I want to get better at it, but OCD-ing myself to the point I’m fucking miserable and never practice (much like I did with writing) is not the answer.

Piano made me realize my OCD impacts my day-to-day life in a variety. Not just my 10/10 OCD spirals/fears.

Do I still struggle with how fucking ridiculous getting worked up over voluntarily taking piano lessons made me feel? 10000%. Am I actually enjoying and looking forward to my lessons and actually practicing because I want to instead of feeling paralyzed or over analyzing or avoiding or forcing myself to? Also 10000% true!!! It’s fucking wild how much you can enjoy things you like when your OCD SHUTS THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE GODDAMN SECONDS.

Like obvs I still have a lot of work to do on the OCD front, but I’ve made so much fucking progress over the past few months. It feels like night and day sometimes. If you’d told me like 6 months ago I’d have written 75k on one fanfic in addition more on others, I would have laughed on your face and then doom spiraled about it.

God I have missed actually ENJOYING things. My therapist was not exaggerating when she talked about me having a breakthrough last session about overcompensating and how it negatively has impacted myself and my fledgling self-compassion.

It feels so fucking GOOD.

Navigating OCD and ADHD, especially as a late diagnosed person isn’t easy. I’m still learning so much and also puzzling out what does and doesn’t work for me. But for the first time in such a long time, I feel like I’m actually making progress on those fronts and it is such a fucking relief after borderline hating myself for years now.

This got wildly out of hand, but OH WELL. I’m just so fucking happy and relieved to be seeing some progress for myself that I was starting to worry might never fucking happen.

[piratebay]

do all of the music ask prompts (if u want!)

the ultimate music ask game

i DO ! i'm not gonna do the one's where i need a color or song of your choice tho but if you wanna ask those with something in mind please do! thank you for asking! also putting it under the cut because it's so long lmfao

1. are you an albums person or a singles person?

maybe mostly singles? most of the time i hear a song & i like it & am more picky about the album on the whole, but there are some albums that are so integral to my being they'd have to be ripped from my soul, you know? x

2. do you still buy cds (or other physical media)?

i do still have cds! i don't often buy them because honestly i often don't have the funds to, but when i can i do! my car still has a cd player thankfully & i have an external drive for my laptop :] the last cd i bought was rachmaninov: piano concertos nos. 1 & 4

3. do you listen to more oldies or more current stuff?

i would LIKE to think there is a balance but i'm afraid it's mostly oldies lmao

4. is there a song you love but don't like its music video?

oh god recently i was watching music videos with my cousin & my mom & my mom was like "put duran duran on!" so we watched the music video of rio & she was so disappointed & said "this seemed so much better back in the 80s" 😂

5. is there a song you don't like but like its music video?

i can't think of one at the moment but i'm sure there is one. tbh i don't watch a Lot of music videos

6. who's an artist you really like but are embarrassed to admit it?

kiss 😭 i don't like them like i used to, though

7. would you wear a t-shirt of a band you're not into?

no, i don't think i would. unless i really liked the design? i still don't see myself doing that though

8. is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like?

i'm not SUPER into reggae, despite being into its adjacent musical genres, but utu bang bang by ka'ikena scanlan HITS.

9. do you have a favorite band?

i dooo.... it's the beach boys 🥲

10. favorite solo artist?

i've been into sza for a while now

11. favorite songwriter?

stevie wonder!

12. who’s the most obscure artist you listen to?

probably hui ohana lmfao they're soo nostalgic for me but idk how far their reach outside of hawai'i & hawaiian households are...but probably not much...

13. who’s the most popular/mainstream artist you listen to?

rihanna?

14. a song or album from the 50s or earlier:

black is the color of my true love's hair by nina simone

15. a song or album from the 60s:

and then...along comes by the association

16. a song or album from the 70s:

out of the blue by electric light orchestra

17. a song or album from the 80s:

thriller by michael jackson

18. a song or album from the 90s:

nevermind by nirvana

19. a song or album from the 2000s:

white pony by deftones

20. a song or album from the 2010s:

we are young by fun. & janelle monáe

21. a song or album from this year or last year:

unholy by sam smith & kim petras

22. what’s your favorite song or album from the year you where born?

the boy is mine by brandy & monica

23. do you and your partner/best friend share a special song? One you’d call “our song”?

amor prohibido by selena 😭

24. do you play any instruments?

i mean. i can fuck around on a keyboard & bang on some drums?

25. is there a song you used to like but can’t listen to anymore because you associate it with someone you don’t like?

YES. ALL STAR BY SMASH MOUTH 😔 it's tragic

26. have you ever pretended to like an artist/song just to fit in or please somebody?

ummmmm.... no i don't think so. but i pretended to like harry pothead even though it made me deeply uncomfortable before it became a habit to hate jk for her rampant transphobia 🙄 you know, as if it wasn't obvious before that she was a raging bigot...

27. do you enjoy making playlists? if so, are there any you’re proud of and would like to share?

i do! i really kind of like this playlist i made while reading dorohedoro

28. have you ever made/got a mixtape as gift to/from a friend?

ofc oh my god. that's actually most of my cd collection are burned discs. i've also gotten some spotify mixes ❤️

29. songs you love to dance to:

omg so in my early 20s i used to get really stoned off my ass & dance & paint in the backyard to long youtube compilations of disco/funk/r&b/house hits from the 70s, 80s & 90s. i can't find which ones were my go-tos at the moment but they were something like this:

30. songs you love to sing along to:

I LOVE SINGING yay yay! i made a whole playlist actually that i sporadically add to sorry it's sort of lame & also should be played on shuffle!

31. who’s your favorite fictional band or artist?

uhhh lol i can only think of löded diper from diary of a wimpy kid

32. when was the last time you cried when listening to a song, if ever?

sooooo my dad used to really like michael mcdonald & on the day i went to my first pride after he died what a fool believes came on the radio & i had to like snuffle my face in to stop from absolutely bawling, i.e. it occurred to me that he would've loved to have gone WITH me actually oops now i feel bad even talking about it sorrrryy

33. your favorite artist from your city/state/country?

green day lmao

34. your favorite song in your native language (if it isn’t english) OR in your second language (if english is your first):

escándalo by la sonora dinamita

35. a song you like in a language you don’t speak:

intermission: flower by zayn malik

36. a song you like with lyrics in two or more languages:

the girl from ipanema by stan getz, joão gilberto, & antônio carlos jobim

37. if you could travel in time and go to a concert of an artist who’s no longer alive or a band that’s no longer together, who would you choose?

i would go see the gap band!!

38. which was the first concert you went to?

hall & oates lmfao

39. which was the last concert you went to?

fa// out b*y 😔

40. which was the best concert you’ve ever been to?

leslie odom jr.! followed closely by system of a down

41. have you ever been to a music festival? if not, would you like to go?

i have not, i feel like it would be too stimulating for me, but i'd like to try it at least once. well wait. i am going to be in a big gala event in minneapolis & kansas city, but i feel like that's different from attending. also it will be my first time touring! :D

42. your favorite(s) “no skips” album(s):

wonder what's next by chevelle, fresh cream by cream, & dirt by alice in chains

43. do you enjoy musicals? if so, what’s your favorite?

i DO lmfao, i would say the phantom of the opera since i practically memorized every part in high school

44. have you watched any musician’s biopics? do you have a favorite?

um i have, i wouldn't say that i have a favorite but whitney houston's was profound

45. a non-musical movie or show with a soundtrack you love:

wellll... a tv show..... cowboy bebop's soundtrack is one of my favorites for sure

46. do you like comedy songs? if so, do you have a favorite?

i think i used to when i was younger. i mean, weird al still hits tbh

47. is there an artist you used to dislike but learned to like because of a friend’s influence?

ummmm, jethro tull?

48. who’s an artist you think is criminally underrated & deserves more recognition?

oh i wouldn't know, i don't think i can make decisions like that, i can only recommend stuff to people

49. is there a cover you like more than the original version?

oh YEAH controversial opinion but i really can't listen to bruce springsteen sing at all but juanes' cover of dancing in the dark is excellent

50. is there an artist you used to love as a child/teenager but now are embarrassed to have ever liked?

i mean... besides kiss? 🤣 probably the beatles. i realized i really just liked psychedelic rock in general

51. is there an artist you used to love as a child/teenager & still like, even if you don’t listen to them as much?

the black eyed peas probably? i mean i don't actively seek their hits but if they come on i'm like. transported back to being a middle schooler

52. do you make playlists to be listened to in a specific order or in shuffle? or both?

both! this one's meant for shuffle:

& this one's meant to be played in order:

53. is there a song you hated the first time you listened to but then loved after listening to it more times?

i tend to keep my preferences for a long while, maybe big time rush? i don't remember HATING their music, i just wasn't a fan, but boyfriend is still good to me

54. an album you loved since the first time you listened to:

i mean... pet sounds by the beach boys 😳

55. an album you learned to love after listening to it again & again:

umm after laughter? i wasn't a big paramore fan in high school unfortunately but later i found them & learned to love them

56. a song/album/artist you wish you could forget so you could have the experience of hearing it for the first time again:

dream a little dream of me by the mamas & the papas

59. do you listen to music when it's raining or do you stop to hear the sound of the rain?

i listen to erik satie when it rains :D very low so i can still hear the rain

62. artists/bands you think have an impeccable discography, with no bad albums:

oh i don't have one. i'm a little picky in that sense, i guess

63. do you prefer live recordings or studio recordings?

whatever sounds better!

65. are there any songs you know the entire lyrics by heart?

i am CHRONICALLY bad with lyrics now i don't know quite what happened but i'm really forgetful. i think too much of my brain is occupied to other things :(

66. share your favorite playlists that you or someone else has made!

here are some i've enjoyed greatly!! :3