❝ sometimes the monsters we least expect are the most dangerous. ❞
The saying finds itself holding a topsy turvy perspective within his mind. Through voyaging beyond the stars and across the countless chasms of reality, watching the many ways life flourished or corroded, where people involved within his particular journey as starseekers were thrust into the chaotic grasp of Darkness one way or another, it left him... confused.
For there were many who also heralded the ends days that could produce an instinctively deep fear, the sort that could squeeze and claw at the very matter of your being, Sora's lips thinned as a hum escaped. So where does Luna's words find their lot in this system of experience?
Monsters made through relationships lost? Sides of the self that were all too eager to crawl to the surface, casting away restraint in terms of desire fulfilled? Or, by chance she encountered threats that found pleasure and purpose in intentionally keeping out of sight.
"Heheh, I can't really tell if it's bitter surprises or what you can see deep down that winds up being the worst. ..I'm not sure what I can really least expect at this point anymore."
The day power found itself burning bright within his hands was simultaneously marked by a day of betrayal. Ruin surrounded him, childhood whimsy and dreams smashed against the sea glazed rocks of a calamitous stretch, all while a great darkness lorded above destiny islands. When it came to Riku, in some ways, ..that wasn't the least expected. There was a discomfort that wormed heavily into their gang at the islands.
His distance as a thirst for adventure and an unknown promise allowed the intoxicating sweetness of false promises blind him.
So how about another? When that same individual ripped that strength back to it's rightful heir, when his companions that grew dear decided to follow duty instead of standing by their bond.
A monster known as helplessness had torn and burrowed into his rib cage then. Despite the outcome now days being a lot more positive, that all encompassing feeling that wanted to choke his Heart makes shivers creep through his being even now.
"..Is that another case of least expecting? When all courage within you could disappear from just one little moment?"
If only he could see the pain that contorts his face into such a firm gaze.
@moonichor
4 notes
·
View notes
ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
229 notes
·
View notes
fucking 4x04 metamorphosis man. i think it's the first time spn really addressed sam being a "freak". like it's set up beautifully for the first 3 seasons but the psychic/demon blood arc pulled it to the forefront.
sam has felt this feeling of alienation, this wrongness inside of him his entire life. not fitting into the hunting life, never having a stable home, being nerdy and empathetic and emotional trapped in a big 6'5 body. and when he finally gets a life outside hunting with jess, it gets ripped away from him. for the first 3 seasons he kept that all bottled up inside and let dean take the reigns (very lil bro of him btw), because whenever he tries to break out of it (jess, meg, etc etc) it ends horribly. and to have that feeling of constant otherness validated by learning that he has demon blood inside of him? sam must have believed that he was sick to the very core. he must have looked up to dean as his amazing big brother, who was rough around the edges but good and normal and always dad’s favourite. so it’s no surprise that sam kept a lid on all of those feelings around dean, because he was used to being the freak, and he was used to suppressing it.
then dean is gone and sam suddenly loses the one person who saw something good in him. hell, his own father thought he was a monster, and other hunters, who are the only other people he could make any sort of meaningful connection with without putting their lives in danger. he’s stuck with this awful thing inside of him, rotting away at him, his whole family is dead, and ruby is there, telling him he’s not evil. he’s not bad. he can make something good of this thing inside of him. and sam must think that ruby understands; she’s a demon, trying to be good, she gets it. so sam gets so deep into it that he forgets why it would ever be bad. he basks in this feeling of otherness and he embraces being a freak because for once in his life, it's actually a good thing that he's different.
then dean comes back to life and suddenly everything is flipped on its head. in the eyes of dean, he’s a monster. that awful feeling of alienation returns. he’s a freak, he’s a ticking time bomb, he’s tainted from the inside out. so of course sam hides it from dean, because he wouldn’t understand. not like ruby apparently understands, not like the other psychic kids, to sam dean could never understand him because he was always the freaky nerd younger brother and dean was the cool, sweet talking older bro that always seemed to have everything in check.
so that look of absolute hurt on sam’s face when dean says he has something evil inside of him, something in his blood?
that is genuine betrayal. dean's loss is still fresh to him, and now that he's finally found something that makes him belong, it's ripped away from him. just like stanford, just like jess, just like anything else in life that he tries to make his own. so he blows up on dean, screams about how he feels like a freak, just unloads all of this shit that he's been holding in his entire life. his entire damn life. because sam has been an "other", a freak, as long as he's known. the only person who he had was dean, but now he was losing him, before he even got him back fully. all because he tried to embrace who he really was.
so yeah. 4x04 metamorphosis man. wow. just fucking wow.
190 notes
·
View notes
Playlist listened to while writing; https://spotify.link/WzxvdTKBCJb
Holy shit dude, the ceo of rei angst wrote some rei angst what the HELL!! We have to kill her guys she cant keep getting away with this.
Anyways im gonna be writing about a lot of these nerds. I just love rei. This is really rushed and I am really sleepy so it is not my best writing.
Also i cannot write teruya so you will habe to ppppUT UP WITH IT.
Warnings for like. Violence and my attempt at writing a breakdown.
-
Rei held the rusty pipe like a baseball bat, swinging for a homerun as she smacked off the head of someone she once knew. Someone who had abandoned her long ago.
The rotting head of what used to be her mother rolled on the ground, sickly green skin squishing against the ground and stared up at her with lifeless eyes.
“I didn’t want to see you again like this,” Rei hissed as her chest heaved, “i wanted to see you staring with regret as you saw your daughter on top of the world. I didn’t want to kill you or see you dead.”
That had been the second time she had run into her zombified mother. The first, she had been a coward, unable to kill her and her father– the two people she hated most, the two people who had abandoned her and left her on the streets.
Where had all her rage gone that time. When had she become soft.
-
Midori clung to Ryutaro with all the strength in her frail body. “My brother,” she whispered, “i saw my brother’s corpse down there. Kakeru… he… they got Kakeru… they killed Kakeu…”
He didn’t say much in return, but he did pat her hand briefly– the only comforting action he could manage while carrying her.
“I see a store up ahead. Let’s stop by there for supplies.” Keisuke pointed out to the leader of the bunch.
Setsuka patted the clown on the back and gave him a smile. “Sounds good, lead the way. Maki, do you need me to carry Yamaguchi for a bit?”
Midori wrapped her arms and legs around Ryutaro a bit tighter at the suggestion, very much attached to the guy who had found her and saved her from zombies.
“I’ll be fine until we reach the stop.” The blonde nodded his acknowledgement to the bluenette, forcing a smile as he struggled to catch up.
The group walked in silence for a bit, the only sounds being the orchestra of distant zombie groans.
“Miss Yamaguchi,” Hikaru said after bit, his tone fatherly like usual, “may I check your pulse soon? And may I check if the swelling on your ankles has gone down?”
“Yeah, that… sounds good. Thank you, Uncle.”
-
Kanata removed the bandages from Ayame’s arm gradually.
“There isn’t any sign of infection, Hatano. Kinjo and Maki are still out, so… uhm… can I get you something to eat?” The surgeon spoke softly as she stared at the sprinter.
“I’m not hungry…” Ayame mumbled.
“Inori!” Tomori slammed the door open, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep, “i think i got bit. Check! Check, please!!”
Kanata bit back a sigh of exasperation and forced out her cheerful smile. “Of course. Where do you think you were bit this time?”
“My ankle. They went after my ankle so I couldn’t run! They’re going to eat me. I’m going to die, aren’t I? Oh, god, I’m going to die!” The cheerleader’s words were jumbled together and practically nonsensical. She grabbed onto Kanata’s shoulders as she spoke, her nails digging into the other’s lab coat and pressing her skin uncomfortably.
“Miss Tomori,” Kanata winced, “please let go of me. I will check your ankle, but I am sure you are fine.”
“I’m not fine!” Kizuna wailed before glaring accusatory daggers at Ayame. “If you… if you hadn't gotten yourself bitten! If you had just seen that bitch for what she is! We wouldnt be doomed! You’ve doomed us all!”
Ayame took the words without fighting back. What had been the point in fighting anymore? Kizuna was right. She had doomed them all.
“Miss Tomori, please… Taira had us all fooled… if Miss Hatano is to blame, then so are the rest of us…” the blonde murmured. “Please sit down so I can check your ankle…”
-
Mindless. Kinji was mindless. His faith had only been able to spare him for so long.
His teeth were decayed now. His skin was green and purple and yellow. His eyes were dull. His cheeks were sunken.
It was incredible that his mind stayed intact long enough for him to bury as many as he did. The only bodies he didn’t put 6 feet under, the only bodies he couldn’t handle burying, were those of the people he knew.
But what was the point?
-
Yuki held his stomach as he choked up and spat out the last meal he had, beans that had barelt even begun to digest.
“Urgh… gross…” he mumbled to himself.
Shinji was away at the moment, scouting out for the next safe place for them to go and likely trying to find his family in the process.
The lucky student fought back envious tears. At least they knew there was a chance that Shinji’s family was alive– they found his mother, Aiko, brutally murdered in the Maeda household. Her corpse was bloated and rotted when they found it.
The sight still haunted his dreams. He couldn’t even keep.meals down since he saw it.
-
Mikako peered into her brother’s lab. He hadn’t eaten in quite some time, nor had he slept.
“Yamato…” she whispered hesitantly.
He spun around with a dart ready in his hand. He only lowered it after he registered it was her.
“Mikako, I’ve told you to leave me alone. I need to find a cure, or no one will be safe.” The inventor turned back to his work and threw a crumpled up piece of paper to the side.
“I’m sure someone else is searching for a cure, Yamato. Why not try to make a vaccine? Some sort of immunity would help while someone else finds a cure.” The exorcist suggested.
Her brother didn’t seem to have heard. That, or he was ignoring her.
“Ah… nevermind.” She straightened her back and spun on her heel to hunt down their other classmates.
For the newcomers, Satsuki was putting on a performance– juggling empty bottles and broken gadgets whilst telling jokes. That could not be safe, but Haruhiko seemed to have his eyes on her.
The bunker door heaved open, and Teruya’s team came in, carrying boxes full of food and other supplies.
“We’re back with dinner!” The merchant shouted.
Mikako rushed over to take the box from him.
“Thank you, Otori, this should be good for at least a week. You and your scavenger team did good.”
He grinned at her and handed his box over. “Thanks! We uh…” he hesitated, “We saw Taira and Maeda… err… Utsuro? On our flight back… they looked like they were heading somewhere… dunno where…”
She bit her tongue and nodded thankfully at him. “Thank you for telling me.”
-
Thats it. Im hungry good bye.
Aw yeah infection Au moment! I do remember you saying a while back that you wanted to write something about Rei in this Au and MAN her part has gotta be my favorite out of these little snippets.
I really like taking a look at how a bunch of the cast is doing, seeing the way you wrote them in those situations was pretty fun! It reminded me how much i like the idea of Setsuka's like group with the 6.5 cast and how Kanata probably wishes she has a degree in psychology to properly deal with Ayame and Kizuna (she may feel as if she's not doing enough for them seing as her kindness can only bring her so far when dealing with their turmoil)
12 notes
·
View notes