#testosterone diary

[nonegenderleftmasc]

3.5 Months!

-

CHANGES:

Voice

- more harder now to hit higher notes

- voice breaks more often

- I'm hopeful : )

Smell

- no change

Skin

- leg acne???? Is a thing???

Facial Hair

- no change : (

Body Hair

- no change

Bottom

- go through underwear much faster now...

- leave it at that...

Bewbs/Body

- is was walking and randomly looked down...

- my hips are gone

- what?

- my legs now line up with my body

- neat!!

- fem hips gone yippee!

- and I think it went to my belly, yessss

Was able to get new small needles on Friday!

[marklikely]

the movie did such a good job at putting me in isabel/owens shoes honestly because i was looking at tara/maddys monologue scene through a lens of just not letting go of nostalgia so i was like 'oh my god do not get in that hole in the ground. this is crazy' but then two minutes later with hindsight i Understood and was like 'NO YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN THE HOLE IN THE GROUND GO BACK'

[stag-bi]

the confusing trials and tribulations of transitioning as an agender person 😩

[auggieoof]

Diary entry #22

I'm learning how to drive still but it's taking too long. My days are meaningless, everyday not living as myself is killing me. I know it'll get better but holy shit waiting is horrible. Every day is pointless, I'm hardly making progress and I hate it. My sister is failing her classes and it's giving me panic attacks because I worry about her and my grandparents are mad at her.

If I can get out by my birthday, that's what I want. It's in the middle of August, hence my name. I don't think I can wait longer than that tbh. That's like 7 months away. God I hope I'm out by then. My days go by so quick, which makes my wait feel easier, but still.

I want to be on T so bad. I want to live my goddamn life for once, not the life others want for me. I want to wear a binder and cut my hair, I think if I could only do that life would be more bearable.

I don't know

[sagewing]

Testosterone Diaries page 1

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AN: I was inspired to start this series because I just so happened to visit my local library one day, and saw a book on drawing comics. I was like "Oh! right! that's a thing I like doing!" So here we are

[strangeaxel]

Btw, sorry but rn im so hyperfixed on postal idk when ill come back to fnaf. I always come back to fnaf in my life but rn? Who knowsss. Maybe I'll do some ask the postal dudes (1 & 2) but that's all D: i love doing asks but my hyperfixation just faded out! :c thanks for all the asks tho it was really fun, for now it's in a long hiatus who knows if it'll comeback again next month or half a year or never... I'll see

I'll see if I'll do a ask the postal dudes JSKWKEMMD IDK I THINK IT'LL BE FUN.

[caintooth]

my t-gel (left) and my femme’s t-gel (right) ❤️

[necropawmicon]

testosterone is turning me into such a dirtbag im like if roderick heffley had a pussy NOT in the sexy emo drummer way that the internet sees him but in the awful loser useless degenerate way he is portrayed in the books. anyways

[nonegenderleftmasc]

Half a year on testosterone: A retrospective

(this post talks bout body parts.. including nsfw/t ones... be warned)

Wow. I can't believe I'm here. I remember being in high school, where being on testosterone felt so far away. It's only been a few years, yet here I am. I feel like this should be a bigger thing, that everything should be totally different, but I'm still much the same man, living much the same life. A far improved life, yes, but still much the same.

This is not a usual update for me, as I thought (jus in time for tdov), I would do a much more detailed update talking about every change I've experienced so far. Everything that's happened to me in these last six moths.

Join me below the cut, will you?

Over all, I can't say my mood has been affected too much. That may be due to bein a chronic depression haver (it's usually medicated, but I ran out recently and am waiting for my insurance to get fixed, hence why this post is late) The reason im feeling generally better is due to being on testosterone, not the testosterone itself. Getting closer to achieving the body I want makes me happier. I did notice I would have random bad days for no reason, where I would just be pissed at everything, in a way I haven't experienced before. All I could think is I used to be so numb before. It's a good thing I'm feeling more, even if that feeling is annoyance.

Thr first things I noticed were my skin, body hair and scent. I have a condition that is triggered by heat, so sweating a lot is something I'm used to. I noticed, in general, I was getting a lot more sweaty more often. This helped me notice my body odor being stronger. This, combined with the changes to my skin, made me need to shower a lot more often.

I can't confirm this one, but I swear my skin is a little... tighter? tougher? Something... About a week in, I just felt itchy, everywhere. It took me a while to realize this was my new body hair growing in! Some of the earliest changes were body hair!

Even before T, I naturally had a lot of thick dark body hair. Especially on my forearms (bullies used to call me monkey or gorilla (which in hindsight sounds kinda racist but I'm white so maybe not? lol?)) Well, I thought I had a lot of body hair before, being on T gave me so much. For a while I was sure that that was all T was doing to me. More, darker, thicker hair on my legs and forearms. NEW body hair on my upper arms, hands, knuckles, belly (cute lil happy trail), back, nipples??? Also between my eyebrows. Then, of course, facial hair (yay). There isn't much, but a few weeks in, I noticed one singular long chin hair (wich later became two) which in hindsight is very funny. As for the rest of my face, very faintly, there is new hair around my ears (side burns?) and at the edge of my upper lip (dirtstache?). ALSO! ASS HAIR!! BRO! WHY did I see no information about this! No one warned me! HOW do cis men, trans woman and intersex people deal with this! You telling me hair grows around your asshole!? Just naturally!?

Body fat redistribution next! About 3/4 months in, I looked down and noticed my legs now line up with my torso! Also I swear my (luckily naturally tiny) bewbs got smaller and my shoulders got wider, but i cant prove that.

Lastly, bottom growth/stuff. Horny talk beyond this point!

I do got a tiny tdick now. I noticed I was a lot hornier early on (just in my unique flavour of asexual), also my fantasies got a lil weirder/more detailed? I'm pretty sure I also smell differently down there now?

That's all folks. See you in 6 months!

[downloadspiral]

Transition Diary: 8 months on T

It's been a while since I gave an update on my transition, so it's about time for a new one! You can find my last post I made after 5 months on T here.

My voice deepening more and more is definitely amongst my favorite changes! Especially when singing, crying, laughing, etc. I sound soo much like a man (or sometimes pubescent boy, haha) now.

My leg hair has become so long it's actually starting to curl now! And my pubic hair pattern is becoming very masculine (also, special shoutout to my ass hair! <3).

Even my beard (just a 'stache so far) has been getting more noticable!! I dye it darker for more visibility, but I clearly see that my natural hair is becoming more and more every time I dye it (like every few weeks).

Now to the biggest change since last time!! My body composition!! There has been sooo much going on there!! My boobs have become much smaller! My arms, back, shoulders and neck are broader!! And I'm having a suspiciously easy time making gains at the gym... And my hand veins seem to be getting more prominent (VERY noticable when I work out, but also when I'm chilling).

Also, my facial features are sharpening in some, and broadening in other areas. I'm not too sure how noticable the changes in my facial structure are to others, as I still have my pre-transition face 'saved' as 'my face' in my mind so whenever I pull out the front camera I get hella surprised (and excited) about what I'm seeing.

Before I finish this post, I also want to adress a change I am NOT experiencing: increased sex drive. This could be a side effect from antidepressants/relationships being hard - but I feel like I am very much in control of my libido, unlike what other trans mascs have reported.

[twunkthoughts]

been feeling dysphoric as hell over my voice lately. I've been trying to do that rainbow passage and saying common phrases but it keeps popping up as masc-androgynous. What's hella funny is the fact that i'll start singing some sexyy red lyrics for shits and giggles and it turns out masculine EVERY SINGLE TIME like in sexyy we trust fr

But on a real note, I think the reason it pops up as masc-andro is because i'm being way too tense with it. With all the voice training that i've done i'm not really letting loose with my throat muscles and stuff like i'm almost always straining it and I think that just causes the throat muscles to tighten up. I'm super tense and anxious about having the program recognize me as masculine that it literally ends up backfiring.

When I just do it for shits and giggles and relax its not even in the higher ranges of masculine its like at the lowest points.

[blackmetalsnake]

I finished my first pack of Androgel today!

And damn, the human body is amazing and it's so interesting to watch the changes. And they are already there, albeit very small.

I'm very attentive to the slightest changes in myself, so the first thing that happened and that I noticed in the first week was that my throat began to hurt and a cough appeared. It would be easy to confuse this with a cold, but for me it's usually accompanied by a fever. And of course, this cough did not go away, and periodic hoarseness was added to it, so it's changes in the vocal cords began already.

And a month later I can note that my tone of voice has changed just a little. And I began to speak noticeably louder, although before I had always been very quiet and I had to make an effort to speak louder. And yes, there's a pleasant vibration in my throat when I speak… Ohh ❤️

V TW: unpleasant and quite personal body things V

The second thing that happened was changes in the chest. Doctors diagnosed me with mastopathy and for quite some time now my breasts have been periodically hardening, which made it difficult for me to bind myself properly, and then almost constant pain appeared; I was not prescribed normal treatment. This depressed me very much, I almost couldn’t go outside and this was the last straw that pushed me to start hrt.

After a week and a half on testosterone, my breasts became soft again and the pain completely disappeared lol. Now even my binder is a little big for me. Testosterone magic? I didn't even think that t would really help with this.

And one last thing. By the end of the month my bottom became more sensitive. Not yet so much that it brings any discomfort, but yes. It's starting slowly growing I guess?

I didn’t notice any changes in libido, it’s always high for me, only in the first couple of days of taking testosterone it fell, but then it became normal again. But maaybe a little higher now? Not sure.

[auggieoof]

Diary entry #23

Tw sui and general panic (?), transphobia

Oh shit oh fuck they've banned HRT for minors. I'm not a minor but the amount of damage they'll be able to do to minors scares the fuck out of me. If you are a minor who's trans and wants to take HRT, I am so so sorry.

I'm a diagnosed autistic adult, what if they take it away from me too??? I don't know how I could survive that. I don't think I could. If that comes on the news, they may as well be sharing the date that I'll die.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I fucking hate Trump and his goons so much.

I'm hoping I can do DIY HRT if it comes to that. If they ban it for autistic adults, it's not automatically a death sentence, but I can see the way that it could lead to my death and thousands of others.

I don't really want to think about it, but what choice do I have? This is my future!

If I didn't procrastinate my moving out so much, maybe I would've been okay.

I hope the ACLU or something saves us. I can only hope.

[beans-tour-diary]

Day 366

Today is the last day of my first year on T. I'm on my sixth bottle of gel.

My voice has dropped significantly. These are both of me trying to talk as deep as comfortably possible.

I've grown a visible little mustache as well as very long and dark hair on the lower part of my legs. My hair also became more structured and untameable. Of course there's more body hair, bottom growth, no period, skin issues, strength...

Everything I expected and more.

Tomorrow is the first day of my second year on T.

[wildmaddy]

Re-blog and message me 💦

[urprofsqueermenace]

hrt diary - psych session for the letter

having a another non-binary trans person doing the psychological session for the hrt indication letter is the fucking best

I'm so glad to have found this person and the resources to pay for it

It was so chill...well mostly...he of course had to ask if I have any acute suicidal thoughts and I was like 'define acute' (my answer is no)

he was so helpful and thoughtful on how to trick the binary medical system into getting me the treatment I want :)

and b/c of the top surgery tag in this post: he also made the letter be useful for the top surgery I'm paying for myself but I have to pay a little bit less now thanks to the letter. And I just had to ask for it. So nice

Next: appointment with the trans friendly endocrinologist in July and thus starting low dose t probably end of July