#tfp was fun!! i liked it i was there for ratchet and wheeljack i like funny old men

[suitsofarmour]

Finished TF Prime recently

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! So, in G1, there is an episode where four Autobots ended up briefly turning into humans, called Only Humans. That episode was fun, but sadly, there were too much actions and not enough bots experiencing common phenomenons of a human body, which would have been SO fun! So may I request a similar scenario with TFP Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bee, and Bulkhead? But this time the times where they stayed humans were longer than that G1 episode, and during the time these guys got to experience all kinds of human body experiences like hiccups, goosebumps, throwing up, falling inside of their sleep, strung by mosquitoes, and maybe even a cold, so on and so on. And tbh I just want to know who do you think would be the ones to freak out ant goosebumps (think that bugs are crawling under them) and who would be the one to think that a 39 Celsius fever + a nasty throw up is probably normal for human body and no cause for concern? And to make this funnier I ask for a random unlucky Autobot to actually got to suffer from motion sickness (ironic, since they used to be cars themselves, and now they can’t even ride anymore without feeling like dying), and another to be truck by a tough cold/flu and had to suffer through unfamiliar symptoms like coughing, sneezing, chills, and stomach aches, and another to find out they have nasty allergies of a random kind and effect (these can all be more than one if you are feeling evil)

but of course the three kids are there to help them through this tough time— not without occasionally making fun of them a bit tho.

you can do this either in a story telling form, where you write out a whole entire story chapter, or the bullet point list regarding how different the reactions of everyone would be.

YEEEE! This request was fun to do! The bots are going to get the 'whole' human experience.

Hope you enjoy!

Human Buddy and the Kids helping turned humans Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead

SFW, Platonic, mentions of puke, Human reader

TFP

Relic accident. Enough said.

The relic, as it turned out, had the capability to turn anything of Cybertronain origin into the organic version of it depending on the planet it was on.

That was how the charges found their guardians on the floor looking dazed and confused.

Thank goodness they had clothes on.

After further inspection from Wheeljack, they all got the news.

The good news this was all temporary, they would turn back when the effects wore off.

The bad news was that this was going to last for entire week.

Which shouldn’t have been a problem… if some of them didn’t get sick.

Oh joy…

Ratchet

The Cold.

Ratchet was fine for the first day, though he was constantly complaining about the work that still needed to be done.

It was the next day that the symptoms came up.

Buddy and Raf are the only ones who manage to convince him to lay down and rest.

“Please Ratchet, your sick and need rest.”--Buddy

Ratchet trying to pass Buddy but Raf steps in front of him.

“Do it Raf!”--Buddy

“Do—cough—what?”--Ratchet

Puppy Dog Eyes activated.

“Please?”--Raf

“… fine.”--Ratchet

Buddy high-hives Raf before helping him back to his bed.

His immune system was new to its surroundings, easier for illness to sit in.

Worse that he was older than the other as well.

He was much more vulnerable to catch simple things.

Most of the bots and recently turned humans are worried about Ratchet’s health when he started sleeping more. But June and the others reassure them that Ratchet’s going to be fine.

Ratchet wants to work, but the kids and Buddy don’t let him.

Jack and Buddy oversee Ratchet’s temperature and basic medical supplies.

Buddy does their best to explain to him what is happening to his body, for reassurance.

Miko plays him classical music for once.

Blame it on the pitiful sick look on his face.

He expected some loud rock music but found it surprising when Miko began playing the keyboard softly.

Its an almost foolproof way to get him to sleep fast.

Raf sat by him telling him stories and helping him eat his food.

This wasn’t his best experience, but he certainly has much more respect on human biology and for the kids now.

Ratchet now has a mini human well-care kit in his habsuite.

Optimus Prime

The Hiccups.

Optimus was just trying some of the different waters the kids had been recommending.

“And what is this one?”--Optimus

Optimus already starting to drink.

“Sparkling water.”--Buddy

Optimus stops and looks at the water horrified.

“Why are you looking at it—OH! Wait Optimus its not ‘sparkling’s’ water is a type of water with minerals!”--Buddy

Optimus puts the water down but swallows the water in his mouth.

“Human’s drink minerals? As in the deposits?”--Optimus

“… I’m not explaining this one. Raf! Your turn!”--Buddy

Then they heard the sound.

Optimus was surprised to hear it.

Then he made it again.

He looks a bit disturbed.

He wasn’t voluntarily making the noise it was just coming out of him just like that.

Jack and Miko try to explain what hiccups are.

He gets a bit more disturbed yet intrigued.

This wouldn’t be so bad… if that noise would stop trying to interrupt him from talking and making his chest go bump!

Raf suggests ways to get rid of them.

They all go through the list until they reach the last one.

Scaring him.

They knew it was going to be a tough one, Prime wasn’t scared easily.

But Buddy had an idea.

A very dumb idea.

Optimus was talking to Jack when he noticed Buddy leaning on the railing.

He was a bit on edge seeing them so casual near the ledge.

They sat on top of it.

Then began tittering backwards until half of their body went to the other side.

Optimus is running to Buddy’s side trying to stop them from falling backwards.

Buddy just hung from their ankles looking up at him with a smug smile.

No more hiccups.

Problem solved.

He does try and scold Buddy for the recklessness… but he is also glad the hiccups are gone.

When Optimus turns back to normal, he insists to Agent Fowler to have better rails in the base.

Arcee

The Mosquito bites.

Oh, Jack had warned her about these little guys.

And now she knew why the kids were complaining about.

She wanted to eradicate every single one.

Arcee trying to squash some of the mosquitos with her hands.

“Why!”-Arcee

SMACK!

“Won’t!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“These!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Things!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Die!”--Arcee

SMACK!

SMACK!

Buddy and Jack already dosed with repellent.

“Felt that.”--Buddy

“Yep.”--Jack

The two humans fist bump while watching Arcee fail to smack another mosquito.

With some heavy rain, some had managed to get into the base. There weren’t many, maybe four, but they were enough to leave Arcee’s arms and legs littered with little bites.

The kids did get bitten too, but not as much as she did.

Arcee did try to use the repellent, it didn’t do anything for her.

Buddy and Miko help put anti itching cream on her, but she wants to scratch them all so bad.

When she thought they weren’t looking she would begin to scratch furiously.

Arcee didn’t know that her skin would show that she had scratched. She freaked out a bit when she scratched a bit too hard on one and it started bleeding.

Raf and Jack clean and disinfect the scratch which welcomes her to the pain of antibacterial spray.

She swears that it was the most painful thing she had to endure yet.

Raf decided to decorate the little scratches with band aids so she would scratch them.

When Arcee turns back to her normal self, she is relieved.

She has much more respect for the things humans have to do daily.

Will never tell Jack to suck it up when he has a mosquito bite again.

Bumblebee

The Motion sickness.

Oh, the Irony.

Bumblebee was a fast muscle car before!

He shouldn’t get sick when going over 15 miles per hour!

Now he was getting queasy in riding with Smokescreen and Buddy.

He feels awful.

Sweaty

Clammy hands

And something feels like something is trying to crawl out of his throat.

Bumblebee looking a bit pale as Smokescreen makes another sharp turn.

Buddy looks at Bee.

“Hey Smokes, you mind rolling the windows down a bit?”--Buddy

“Why?”--Smokescreen

Bumblebee groaning.

“Unless you want to see what the inside of a humans stomach holds, I suggest you open up the windows.”--Buddy

Windows immediately roll down.

Bee sighs with a bit of relief as the wind rolls past his face calming his stomach.

At first the two thought it was Smokescreen crazy driving that was making him sick.

But that wasn’t the case.

Buddy Bee and Raf were inside Ultra Magnus and he got queasy there too.

Magnus was one of the safest and slowest drivers on the team.

It was just him.

Bumblebee refused to leave the base after they came back.

He’d rather hang out with the kids on the couch and play games with them than go outside in another vehicle.

When Bumblebee returns to normal, he is so thankful the queasiness didn’t follow him.

He is now much more attentive to the kids when he is driving now.

His subspaces now have barf bags, just in case.

Bulkhead

Throwing Up.

All Bulkhead wanted to do was have the full human experience with Miko.

He went with her to a monster truck rally that Buddy had managed to get tickets to.

“Wow! I can’t believe you got us ticket to the rally!”--Miko

“Me neither!”--Bulkhead

“No problem, guys, just enjoy yourselves.”

“I mean I tried booking these babies in advance, but everything was booked or too expensive. How did you get the tickets?”--Miko

Buddy simply starts drinking their soda.

“Buddy?”--Bulkhead

“What you don’t know, don’t hurt.”--Buddy

“What?”--Bulkhead

“What?”--Buddy

The trio bought all sorts of junk food and sodas.

He found himself enjoying the time at the rally.

Everything was good.

Until he got back to base.

He suddenly became pale and sweaty.

The next thing Bulkhead knew, he was staring at a trash can with a bunch of mushy stuff with Buddy and Miko on either side of him.

Buddy had some of the mushy stuff on their arms, while Miko was rubbing his back gently.

The mushy stuff did stink a lot.

He felt something come out of his mouth and spew it into the bin, once again getting it on Buddy’s arms.

Bulkhead tried to apologize but it was hard to catch his breath.

Turns out a whole lot of junk food and soda was not good for you after all.

No matter how good it tasted before.

He doesn’t want to touch food while he is like this.

The kids try introducing him to lighter foods so he can at least eat something while his stomach recovers.

He likes the different kinds of broth they bring in.

When Bulkhead returns to normal, he asks Miko to stash barf bags in his interior.

He wants to have them just in case the kids need them.

Has so much more respect for them.

Will slap someone in the head if they mention to the kids to get it over with while their stomach is not feeling good.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Absolutely adore seeing all the bits of writing on the bots reactions to the kiddos 🤣 Fr makes my day, just scrolling though feed and BOom your writing! So I randomly thought of the kids doing barbecues or picnics and sharing all their grubby food like Oo try this and maybe not as it’s spicy. What I mean is I’m sure the bots wouldn’t understand how human food can have so many flavours.

Glad to brighten someone's day! I am honestly startled by how enthusiastic people are about TFP bots reacting to things. I haven't gotten this many notes in like, three months. Its crazy.

Anyway, lets roll with this.

Cybertronians do have a degree of flavoring involved in their fuel. However due to the nature of energon, there is only so much flavoring that can be added before it loses its nutritional value, turns into high grade, or explodes in some fantastic display. Not to mention their ability to taste is severely limited, partially due to the simple fact that their sensory systems are more focused on external stimuli or processor function. In fact, most Cybertronians can hardly taste, if they have an intake at all. It simply isn't part of their biology. They have no need for it. Of course some get modifications in order to have a wider range of taste, and some are forged with heightened senses, but as a general rule most do not have the ability to note much.

At most they can read sweetness, bitterness, and anything that is metallic in nature. But spiciness, savory flavors, and most of the finer flavors humans experience are simply out of their range. Fueling can be enjoyable, but for most of their kind, it is merely a way to keep on going. But humanity? They eat for FUN, and that is odder than the team expected it to be.

Watching the children swap food around for the sake of flavor is... strange to the team. Seeing Miko give up what they can tell is vegetation that is highly nutritious to humans for a bag of chips soaked in all sorts of chemicals left most of them in a state of confusion. Jack offered up a sandwich, the arguably healthier dish, for a handful of gummies. Rafael passed over some sort of meat in exchange for Miko's rice. The exchange of nutrition was not orderly or equal in any way or form. Then sometimes the children would just eat each other's food without regard for the nutritional value.

The team couldn't understand it. Sure Cybertronians would trade fuel at times, but rarely was nutrition a concern. Humans swapping fuel left and right was just a tad strange. Not incomprehensible, but strange nonetheless.

Smokescreen has tried to eat human good once just to see if he could taste it. He could not taste much at all and ended up purging for the next day due to the food not going well in his tanks. Bulkhead also made an attempt once when Miko offered him food. He was stuck with cheeto dust in the grooves of his jaw for almost a week before he gave in and went to the washracks to handle it. Wheeljack made direct optic contact with Ultra Magnus and purposefully ate an apple that was offered to him, just to watch the commander squirm of course. He had to purge it all up an hour later, but watching the reactions of those around him made it worth it.

Ultra Magnus was tricked into eating human food when it was put into his energon once (by a certain wrecker). Magnus tried to hold it together, but ultimately he too ended up needing to purge. Ratchet has given the "do not eat organic fuel" speech far too many times to be happy about it.

[dragonridernoobie]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR LIL BABYYY!!! I love snakes and I was honestly surprised you had one!!

Speaking of snakesss, can I request TFP Optimus, Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Megatron with a female reader (human or cybertronian is fine) who owns a snake?? Any kind of snake is ok!! Tyyyy!!!<333

And happy birthday again!!🥳🥳

Sure, thank you for saying Happy birthday to my snake! She is very happy and mad since she had to go to the vet XD

Also, sorry this came out so late, work has been a bitch.

TransformersPrimeXReader(PetSnakeEdditon)

OPTIMUS

Optimus went to go pick up (Y/N)

(Y/N) told him that they where bring their snake since miko asked to see it.

He has never seen a snake up close so he is excited.

When he pulls up to (Y/N)s house and (Y/N) was there waiting.

Optimus sees them holding a container.

When they get since, he asked what is inside of the container.

Reader pulls out their snake.

Snake v

Optimus was very surprised.

Once back at base, he happily holds the snake and listens to (Y/N) talk about them.

Optimus is definitely writing this down since his old orion self is coming out.

Ratchet

Ratchet was at base.

(Y/N) was with him, on his shoulder on their phone.

While they just relaxed, ratchrt suddenly moved and made a wierd noise.

When reader looks at the screen and dosent see anything they are confused.

Intel they noticed somthing moving on the keyboard.

They see a guarding snake.

Before ratchet can hurt the snake, (Y/N) picks up the snake and takes it out of the base.

(Y/N) is making fun of ratchet for being scared of a snake.

Snake v

Wheeljack

Wheeljack was working in the jackhammer.

(Y/N) was with him, helijg him organized his ship.

While they clean it out, wheeljack yellow about somthing coil.

When (Y/N) goes to see what's so cool, they see wheeljack holding a cotton mouth snake.

Poking at it and saying it's so cute.

(While the snake is fucming horrified and tries to scare wheeljack off by striking it.)

(Y/N) tells wheeljack that what he has is one of the most poisonous snakes in the world and he should put it outside.

Wheeljack does that, but he makes sure to name it.

He named it "doom fanger"

Snake v

Megatron

Megatron was on his warship, telling his men what to do.

(Y/N) was a human who has gained his respect and (Y/N) was on his shoulder.

While (Y/N) was on their phone, looking for snakes to buy, megatron saw this.

He tells (Y/N) they should get a powerful snake.

When (Y/N) said that snake is to dangerous, he was surprised that there was an actal snake like that.

He asked about it and (Y/N) told then about the king cobra.

Megatron soon gets a King cobra on the ship so he has a pet who is like him.

(He made sure to keep it away from (Y/N))

Snake v

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

Tfp Autobots' Reactions to Pokemon Go

Optimus: He'll allow you/the kids to play, but he's concerned. He'll say: "I do not advise traversing unfamiliar locations without looking up from your electronic device...nor do I advise the inhumane capture of helpless living creatures, fictional, or otherwise. But, since this pass-time is a part of human culture, I respect your desire to play."

Optimus wouldn't chose a Pokemon Go team, either. He would say: "As a former inhabitant of Cybertron, I know better than to engage in factions, for they have the capacity to bring once peaceful civilizations into chaos."

Ratchet: He's not amused:

"If I hear ONE more mention of 'catching Pokemon,' by the Allstark, I am going to lose my mind."

However, one day, you decide to give him a plushie of Wigglytuff (The Pokemon that Nurse Joy has), since he's a medic. He rolls his eyes, but secretly appreciates it deeply. He keeps the Wigglytuff on his desk while he works.

If he were to pick a team, he'd be Team Instinct, which Miko would relentlessly mock him for:

Miko: "Team Instinct? Lame alert."

Bumblebee: Regularly plays Pokemon Go with Raf. They've got almost every single Pokemon, and beat every gym (well...there MAY have been hacking involved with the gym thing). Bee would find a Pokemon near where Ratchet is working (a digital one, not the plushie). He'd buzz, run over excitedly, and point it out to Raf. Of course, Ratchet would shout: "I'm TRYING to WORK, over here!"

Bee would probably join Raf on Team Mystic.

Arcee: Relentlessly makes fun of Jack for bumping into trees.

Tries to play herself, out of curiosity, and bumps into a tree.

Jack: "Did you just bump into a tree?"

Arcee: "Let's not talk about it."

Overall, she'd just make snarky comments while watching everyone else play. She's on Team Valor.

Bulkhead: He and Miko are super competitive against Jack and Raf.

They have a blast catching Pokemon, but Bulkhead's still very protective of Miko.

Bulkhead: "Miko, be careful. Stay by me. Some people who play this game accidentally find...dead bodies." *shudder*

Miko: "Dead bodies? Sw-eet!"

Team Valor, of course.

Wheeljack: Totally encourages Miko.

All the Wreckers play together and they're all Team Valor.

Wheeljack doesn't understand why using actual grenades won't help them take over gyms.

He doesn't really like the cute little Pokemon. He'd rather have a real fight. However, he thinks all the exploring is good Wrecker training for Miko.

Smokescreen:

Obsessed with it.

Seriously, who's idea was it to show him this game? Jack, you fool!

Team Prime will be on a sensitive mission, and Smokescreen will be like: "GUYS, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"

Arcee will rush over, thinking Smokescreen found a Cybertronian relic, or something.

Smokescreen: "A SHINY Charmander! HOW COOL IS THAT?"

And then Arcee would beat the scrap out of him.

He's on Team Valor, because Moltres is cool.

Ultra Magnus:

He's like: "What is a Pok-e-mon?"

Miko helps him catch one.

He's like: "I do not understand."

And Miko's like: "Awwww!"

Soon, the kids notice gym's are being taken by Ultra Magnus (whose username is, rather uncreatively, just "Ultra Magnus"). Apparently he's on Team Mystic, so Miko walks up to Ultra Magnus, like: "Aww, you're picking RAF'S team?"

To which Ultra Magnus says: "...there are Teams?"

At least he's surprisingly good at it, considering he has no clue what he's doing.

[weenwrites]

Could you do a scenario with tfp wheeljack, tfp ratchet and tfp optimus where the human reader reveals their ability to shapeshift by turning into them and mimicking with complete accuracy?

✎ A/N: I only do scenarios for one character now, and since those take so long, I'll just do headcanons for these. Also I'm pretty sure I did something like this for Ratchet or Optimus before so I'll do it for Wheeljack, Ultra Magnus, and Smokescreen to make up for it. I'm really sorry to disappoint you!

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Wheeljack

He thinks it's cool! Though it feels a bit weird to see another "him" given his previous experience with impersonation and whatnot (cough cough, Makeshift, cough cough). Still, if you join him on raids to decepticon-controlled energon mines, you could come in pretty handy by acting as a distraction, or by posing as one of the vehicon miners.

Ultra Magnus

According to article 5, section 18 of the National Cybertronian Code, impersonation is a criminal offense, and only legal under the following circumstances—yeah he doesn't take it well. He honestly thinks you're poking fun at him, or mocking him, which he finds extremely rude and disrespectful. Even if it were as a harmless joke, you should know that this guy can't quite tell if this is a joke or blatant disrespect toward a superior officer. Neither would he let a joke like this go off the hook.

Smokescreen

He finds this—honestly he's a bit unsure on how to feel about it. On one hand, this is so cool! You can shapeshift? Does this mean you can also transform? By his books he sorta considers this transforming, since you're changing shape. On the other hand, it's a bit weird to see another him. Still, it's real cool that you can do that. He'll be asking you all about it, what else can you turn into? Could you turn into something bigger? How long can you do this for? Could you turn into things that don't exist, like dragons or unicorns?

[novafire-is-thinking]

✧ TFP Characters as Weather Phenomena ✧

(and things that can be said instead of stating the actual weather conditions because metaphors are cool)

Decepticons:

Megatron: Tornado

“Megatron’s coming. An evacuation is in order.”

Starscream: Sleet

“Ew, it’s Starscreaming outside.”

Soundwave: Cloud-to-cloud lightning

“I think I just saw Soundwave. Time to find shelter.”

Laserbeak: Frost

“Laserbeak must have flown over last night.”

Knockout: Intense sunshine

“Knockout’s showing off again.”

Breakdown: Hailstorm

“I’m staying inside. Breakdown’s not in a good mood right now.”

Dreadwing: Blizzard

“Looks like Dreadwing’s finally getting his revenge.”

Shockwave: Cloud-to-ground lightning

“Shockwave’s in the area. You’d better hide and hope he never finds you.”

Predaking: Fire tornado / Fire whirl

“Okay, who pissed off Predaking?”

Airachnid: Acid rain

“Airachnid’s on the hunt. Don’t let her see you.”

Autobots:

Optimus: Wind

“It’s nice of Optimus to pass by and say hello today.”

Ratchet: Fog

“I see Ratchet’s finally getting some rest.”

Ultra Magnus: Steady rain

“Ugh, of all the times for Ultra Magnus to show up.”

Arcee: Snowfall

“Arcee’s reminiscing about things again.”

Bulkhead: Rolling thunder

“Sounds like Bulkhead’s winning.”

Wheeljack: Thunderclap

“Wheeljack just blew something up, didn’t he?”

Bumblebee: Partly sunny sky

“Classic ‘Bee. Always doing his best.”

Smokescreen: Cloud burst

“Great. Smokescreen’s throwing another tantrum.”

Cliffjumper: Dust devil

“Ah, Cliff is still having fun kicking up dust, I see.”

Bonus - The Kids:

Jack: Cloudless sky

“It’s a Jack kind of day.” boring but nice

Miko: Hurricane

“Uh oh. Miko’s on the move. Clear out, everyone.”

Raf: Light rain

“Raf really has a way of making things better, doesn’t he?”

[thenamesblurrito]

assorted Transformers fics to rec (part two!)

first list here! have more fics i missed the first time or discovered since then or were recommended to me by others! if you decide to read these, i recommend leaving a comment if you can to encourage the writers and show some love! 🥰 note: the ones marked with * were ones i read a long time ago and did not reread before adding them to this list, so i am going off the good vibes in my memory

An Act of Revenge for Crimes Uncommitted

canon soup, incomplete, AO3. young Orion Pax wakes up mutilated, empurata'd, and his assailants punished him for the crimes of one Optimus Prime. ooooo this is kind of heartwrenching, truly intriguing and unjust and mmmmm drama. time travel, gore, mind the tags here, a fascinating look at a bad timeline! some of the functionism stuff in here actually helped inspire my own functionist setup in SNAP

Blackout and Reboot

canon soup, complete multichap, AO3. amnesia was not on the table when Thundercracker agreed to go undercover as a human. giant robot aliens weren't on the table when Marissa took it upon herself to help the weirdest guy she'd ever met. it's a match made in heaven. i love this fic okay it's got some fantastic wth moments and TC being TC and Marissa being awesome and just. i like it. the writing could use some technical polish but the action and plot concept are good, and the fun alien/human interactions are my jam. has a sequel i haven't read

Canonfodder*

TFP, incomplete, Spacebattles. a series of harrowing updates from a poor hapless nobody isekai'd into the body of a Vehicon on dead Cybertron, and all the nonsense that spirals from there. i like this one, the pacing can get a lil jagged and the technical skill of the writing is a bit off but that's often the nature of these forum fics, i didn't mind it. definitely love the inclusion of Kup, and space video games, and the limited but interesting choices the protag can make when presented with such a dismal situation makes for a very compelling, journal-style story. if you don't know how to navigate forum fics like this, just use the links in the first post to skip to each snippet

Catching Feelings

TFA, oneshot with sequel, AO3. Bumblebee and Charlie are clearly a Thing, so what's Optimus doing thinking about her so much? honestly i just like this ship concept especially in a TFA context, it's very cute and awwwww poor Op, sorry you're experiencing emotions!

Commonality and Misunderstandings

canon soup, incomplete, AO3. a collection of scenes showing just how humans and mecha can figure each other out, no matter how wide the cross-cultural divide. this is cute! i like the human OCs and the shenanigans. talks about gender perceptions, has some mech-preg mentions, and hits some good emotional moments

the consequences of being a vehicle on Earth - even if only as a part-timer

TFA, oneshot, AO3. out of everyone who has to deal with the legality of autonomous sentient vehicles, it's Fanzone. dear god, save him. a very funny little read that honestly addresses some things i constantly wonder about re: driving laws and the bots. nothing more tortuous than the DMV!

Curious Thing, Isn't It?

vaguely G1, oneshot, AO3. the Ark crew, freshly crashed on Earth and uncomprehending of English, discover one of the tiny squishy native inhabitants. a very cute little scene, i love the variety of reactions and how they treat the kid they found

A Fourth to Remember

G1, oneshot, AO3. it's the 4th of July, and Wheeljack has taken it upon himself to make a fireworks show. lovely little story of his typical nonsense taken large-scale, and some interesting culture collision too!

The Great Space Opera

IDW/TFP crossover, incomplete, AO3. Brainstorm does a whoopsie and uh oh, is that Team Prime in the Lost Light? only a little bit written but VERY fun and i love the mindbending reactions of Ratchet meeting Ratchet. the whole premise is just. mwah

Introduction to Cybertronian Biomechanics

canon soup, incomplete, AO3. a small collection of medical essays and articles detailing a breakdown of anatomy. really fascinating, very coherent explanation that manages to condense canon and fanon into something understandable, perhaps even plausible!

Liberty Island's Decisive Battle: Godzilla vs Trypticon!

Aligned/Godzilla crossover, oneshot, AO3. when Trypticon is resurrected by dark energon and heads towards New York, Fowler remembers a certain other giant lizard monster that might be able to help. Rescue Bots cameo, Miko gets to speak Japanese, Godzilla is awesome, this is just the fic ever

Malto Family Search & Rescue

ES, oneshot, AO3. a Decepticon named Thundercracker shows up at the Malto home in the middle of the night to beg a vital favor: help find his lost dog! SUCH a cute and good and wonderful little fic that fits right in to canon!! i love TC and i love the Malto family interactions and just. oogh lovely little fic. has sequels that i am saving for a rainy day pick me up

marriages of convenience (and the inconvenience of explaining them)

IDW, oneshot, AO3. Minimus is a widower. this fun fact is dropped rather unceremoniously. the painful awkwardness is marvelously in character, there are feelings and funnies and an uncomfortably heartfelt discussion about this matter-of-fact revelation that manages to characterize each of them so well, especially Minimus

Murder Mystery Night

IDW, oneshot, AO3. it's NIGHTBEAT'S NIGHT, BABY! lovely little mystery following around the Lost Light's greatest detective when a fun game night is abruptly shut down by a real actual murder! can Nightbeat find the killer in time?

nothing is more sacred than any other thing

vaguely G1, oneshot, AO3. Skyfire is a nerdy scientist with nerdy friends, which means most shenanigans surrounding him are nerdy. very cute and fun little fic about friends and mushrooms and Starscream being duped! first in a series of oneshots that i haven't gotten around to reading yet but look equally lovely

Objectification

G1, oneshot, AO3. a human and a Cybertronian have very different opinions on who exactly the victim is in an oversexualized music video. stupid funny and good, just the way i like it! last line kills me

Optimus Prime is Destined to Die!!

canon soup AU, incomplete, AO3. poor little Orion is isekai'd into a Cybertronian fantasy light novel as one of the soon-to-die forgettable side characters: the cold prince Optimus Prime. supposed to be MegOp but that hasn't really shown up yet. fantastic premise i leapt at immediately, with interesting royal politics and classic isekai tropey vibes. it's a little slow in places from a lot of (warranted!) purple prose introspection, but i find it cool enough to read through and follow poor Orion adjusting to his new existence!

Return Me to the Stars

TFA AU, incomplete, AO3. when a near-dead little Prime is picked up by the Nemesis, it sparks a lot of shenanigans, mysteries, and interesting political developments, all thanks to Optimus being Optimus. i really love the way this fic is developing, with a terrified Autobot in enemy territory doing the best he can, an expanded cast of Decepticons, a lot of fun worldbuilding, and very engaging and dynamic interactions. features a good bit of whump for our tough lil Prime. tagged as MegOP which is still slowly developing, pretty realistically taking their time to find some kind of even footing without breaking their characterization which i greatly appreciate! the writing itself could use some spellchecking but the plot and pacing are very engaging nonetheless

Scaredy-Car

G1, oneshot, AO3. i love a good comedic misunderstanding and boy the assumptions people are making about Breakdown are WHOOF. kinda cracky, a smidgeon dirty, and just the right amount of loserness that is the entirety of the Decepticon army

The Season of the Smallest Stars

sorta IDW/Stardew Valley crossover?, incomplete, AO3. you weren't expecting a small troop of adorable little robots to help you with your farmwork. a very soft cute little fic, i love it!!! never played SV but it's easy enough to follow along anyway, and i love the cute beeping Lost Light bots helping out our farmer

Second Star From Morning

technically IDW, incomplete, AO3. only a little bit written but SELF INSERT BABYYYYYYYYY gotta love it when your protagonists are aware that this is in fact a fictional character! the panic, the questions, the wahuh?? captivating premise, i hope the author comes back to it someday

Skywarp And The Wonders Of The Unnatural World

G1, oneshot, AO3. their summary sums it up best: "The Elite Trine have a very serious and mature debate on the existence of mythical creatures." extremely funny to me, i LOVE when they're stupid and petty and catty and silly!! Skywarp is so dumb i love him so much

Small Problems*

G1, ongoing series, AO3. average human Crystal finds some shrunken Autobots lost in the big city, and her life only gets weirder from there. an OC-centric series that--spoilers for later in the series--may have been one of the original "human turned into Transformer" fics! the whole series goes from sweet and funny to heartwrenching and angsty, with a lot of in between. i love the OC and sympathize with the horrible things she ends up going through, and also the heights to which she rises! slowburn Prowl/OC, with a bit of love triangle with Jazz in there too (funfact this was the second ever piece of media in which i encountered Blurr)

Sparkless

TFP, incomplete, AO3. a Vehicon left behind finds itself fixed up by a human, and might just gain some personhood along the way. a VERY sweet little story oogh i love this Vehicon!! poor thing i want to give them hot chocolate and a blankie. it's a lovely story with an intriguing premise

Stop Me*

TFP, incomplete (but with over 200 chapters), FFN. Starscream nearly dies at the claws of the Predacons... and then he's alive again, in the past, as if none of that ever happened. a rather (in?)famous fic in the fandom, i've found, although when i first read it i didn't know that. a very interesting take on a Starscream redemption AU, paired with some fascinating outlier power moments! a little bit wooby about Screamer (maybe a lot wooby?), a lot of whump, a lot of emotion, maybe some hints of StarOP idk if that's become an actual ship since i last checked. ymmv on this one depending on your Starscream opinions but i was hooked for the whole time for sure! i need to catch up, it's technically still updating. also the author has another, shorter, complete Starscream redemption fic which i also enjoyed, check that out too

A Streetcar Named Traitor

G1, oneshot, AO3. Megatron doesn't take Starscream's defection well and Optimus has had enough. very stupid, very funny, makes me cackle as Megsy gets dunked on

Sudden Active Development... I certainly feel SAD at the moment*

TFP, incomplete, Spacebattles. another isekai forum fic, this time somebody gets dropped into the body of Nemesis Prime and has to deal with running around as an Optimus lookalike! i like the misunderstandings and the process of adapting to a strange new body. some stilted dialogue, and it gets a little weird about gender perception but i can gloss over that. ramps up with more canon characters, a sprinkling of OCs, and completely taking canon off the rails within the last few posts! this one has threadmarks for easy navigation

Turning Points*

vaguely G1 AU, incomplete, FFN. Prowl was one of the most brilliant tacticians among the Decepticons, and then they destroyed his home. it's gonna be a long climb into the good graces of the Autobots for this defector. an absolutely fantastic character driven piece with a brilliant premise, i love how Prowl is written. and the politics of defecting and dealing with a security hazard, mmmmm good!

An Uneasy Partnership*

sorta G1/Armada/canon soup?, ongoing series, FFN. Alexis keeps an unruly Starscream in her barn. this can only go well. this series is WILD, it escalates and gets worse and then better and then worse again, you root for Screamer and then you hate him, poor Alexis is on a constant horrid rollercoaster but hey, (spoilers), she gets a cool robot body and also a tyrant king boyfriend out of it??? but man is it a long, manipulative, whumpy road to get there. the powerplays and emotional turmoil in their dynamic just keep going and it's fascinating, although probably not for you if you don't like bad power imbalances. it's the end of the world as we know it and whatever comes on the other end is going to be only as good as you make of it. i think this series may also be sort of (in)famous in the fandom? idk i don't pay attention that well

Untitled

IDW, drabble, tumblr. in an unexpected meetcute, Minimus finds himself rescuing Rung. honestly it's just a quick little concept of a conversation but it has captivated me and i'm obsessed with it

[driftiscat]

~~Just for Fun~~

Lee: Ratchet

Ler: Wheeljack

Transformers TFP

As Ratchet twisted the bolt into the small machine, he couldn't help but feel irritated. Not only did he have to redo all his work on this, but thanks to Bulkhead, he had four other things to repair. He needed them

Because of this, Ratchet has been more snappy than usual, and some pots are even ignoring him at this point, all but one. "Sup' doc, watcha working on?" Wheeljack asked leaning against the control panel.

"Nothing of your concern, Wheeljack, now if you don't mind, can you please frag off so I can do my work?" Ratchet scowled, glaring at Wheeljack before returning his focus to his machine. "Lighten up, doc!" Ratchet grumbled as Wheeljack continued to talk. "I don't care." Ratched said. Wheeljack sighed, and then a sudden smirk came.

"Oh? You don't care, you say? What if I make you care?" Wheeljack said in a teasing tone the way he kept behind Ratchet made him worry. What was Wheeljack doing? Was he gonna try and wrestle me? Or was he just being stupid?

"What are you talking about--" Before Ratchet could finish his words, he felt a jab at his hip, causing him to flinch. He caught on what Wheeljack was doing, but before he could react, Wheeljack twisted him around and grabbed his wrist, forcing his arms up and pushing his back against the control panel.

"What the-? Let me go!" Ratchet glared, Wheeljack just smirked and, without warning, scribbled his fingers across Ratchets torso, first at his hip, then moving up to Ratchet's under armor just were his ribs were.

Ratchet struggled, and a few giggles got away from him. "Wh- Wheheheheeljack stohohop it nohohow!" Ratchet giggled a few laughs, breaking out. "Aww, cmon doc! You look so cute giggling like that.~" Wheeljack teased, only making the tickling worse for Ratchet.

Ratchet hardly remembers what it's like to be tickled. Ever since the war, he hadn't had fun like this in a while, not that he'll ever say it's fun. "Shuhut uhuhup! Stahhaahp!" Ratchet twisted his hips and kicked his legs.

Wheeljack smiled and stopped, moving his fingers away from Ratchets body but keeping him against the control panel. "You alright, doc?" Wheeljack asked only to get a simple nod from the, still giggling, medic.

"I hate you sometimes.." Ratchet muttered, but he managed to hide the smile he, slightly, had from Wheeljack."Love you too, sunshine!~" Wheeljack snickered.

Hope ya'll enjoy! ♡

[transformers-platonic]

TFP: Reader not enjoying a book.

This is just a funny set of headcanons about how the TFP Autobots would react to a human reader who is reading a book for fun, but they are not enjoying it and hoping it improves. The Autobots ask if the reader is enjoying the story and they say “No”.

This isn’t about a specific book, but I’ve done this while reading before.

Optimus

- He stops, expecting you would be enjoying it.

- “Do you require assistance in finding another book?”

- He nods in understanding when you explain why you want to finish the book as he is a bit of a bookworm as well and has been there.

Ratchet

- He lets out a slight laugh at the unexpected response.

- “Okay, then.”

- He shakes his head, deciding that humans are just weird. He doesn’t even ask why you’re reading a book you’re not enjoying.

Arcee

- She looked confused at that.

- “You know, you can just find another book.”

- When you explain you want to see if it improves, she smiles at that.

Bumblebee

- He looks in confusion.

- He tries to help find other books in the base.

- When you explain why you want to finish the book, still doesn’t get it as there are plenty of books.

Bulkhead

- He frowns, thinking you want to read but can’t find a book you like.

- “Are you having trouble finding a book you do enjoy?”

- When you explain why you want to read it, he agrees that he hopes it improves

Wheeljack

- He laughs loudly at that.

- “There isn’t anything else to read?”

- He laughs and suggests you find another book.

Smokescreen

- He looks confused at that.

- “I’m sure if you’re bored, there are other things to do; if you want you can join me on patrol?”

- When you explain why you want to continue the book, he suggests reading it during a drive so there’s at least the interesting drive.

Ultra Magnus

- He looks at you with a “why do I even bother trying to figure these humans out” expression.

- “Why are you reading a book you do not enjoy?”

- When you explain why you want to read the book, he admits that he is proud of you for seeing it though as he admires you determination.

[woodlandwildfolk]

So like imagine if the trouble trio introduce the tfp 'bots to tiktok and ask them to participate in a challenge or something.

Ratchet

"absolutely not"

Miko won't stop nagging him and follows him around the base and won't let up

Wheeljack is having too much fun but tells Jack to intervene before ratchet blows a fuse

Raf instead finds some challenges that might interest ratchet, stuff that involves chemistry and that

Just like that time with the science project, he proceeds to point out all the things that people do wrong and Miko opposes him to rile him up

He takes the bait

Optimus has to stop them when wheeljack starts building a "harmless bomb that can't hurt anyone"

but in the end all who participated had fun- ratchet will offline before he admits it tho but he did

jack caught him smiling while organizing stuff in one of the storage units but he won't mention it for his sake

Arcee

A feral miko approached her followed by a panting jack

"why don't I like the sound of this?"

Miko had to assure her it's fine and that they won't post anything so the 'bots won't get exposed

She showed her some of the mobility challenges and stuff with.. Say parkour and flips and that

She was reluctant at first but gave in when Miko provoked her saying she couldn't do it anyway

And cee was feeling particularly competitive when smokescreen joined in halfway

Which made her do a flip with a bit too much strength and illicit an "I needed that!"

Regardless of the collateral damage Arcee felt refreshed from hanging out with the kids (smokescreen included in "the kids" he's my baby)

Bulkhead

He was off-roading with miko when she brought up the idea

"film a what??"

She explained and he agreed under the condition he won't do anything that requires grace

miko agreed but said they're gonna work on that self confidence when they get back to base

she decides on doing a strength based challenged and points to a group of boulders of different sizes

she starts the vid with only her in the frame and lifting a big rock with one hand then it cuts to her lifting a bigger one with Both her hands and then it cuts to her sitting a Boulder and it starts to rise from the ground and before it gets too high she jumps off and turns the camera around showing bulk lifting the Boulder above his head with one servo

hes very pleased with the results and shows it to the others when they get back

and they do have that talk about bulks view of himself

optimus

jack: hey optimus, wanna film a tiktok?

Optimus: ..no.

Ratchet: primes don't do that either

{I take requests if anyone wants, And remember reblogs help creators more than likes <3}

[lets-try-some-writing]

Question. How do you think the TFP bots each find the squishies that are humans look. Like aesthetically. Which ones find them cute or gross or funny looking? Cause in the Scraplet episode, Ratchet said “Typically I find your fleshiness your least engaging qualities.” Meaning that Ratchet find the humans gross to some extent, meaning that the Autobots does have aesthetic opinions about the humans. And it seems like everyone got different opinions. So what’s your head canon for each of their opinions?

Ooooooh now this is a question I will happily answer!

Ratchet: His views on humans and squishies in general is summed up to GROSS. He sees humans as essentially a bunch of organs in a poorly made plastic bag walking around on stilts. They are worse than hairless cats in his optics. They may be nice enough, but he would prefer to poke them with sticks or handle them with a hazmat suit if given a choice. He's warmed up to them, but will never find them particularly appealing. Interesting? Yes. Appealing? Primus no.

Bumblebee: Bumblebee thinks humans are a little unsettling, but he appreciates them in the way one would a pet tarantula. He can find something to see as appealing in them, although as a general rule he is not particularly enthralled with them. He is fond of human eyes, largely because their pupils dilate a great deal like how his optics cycle. He also finds it fascinating how many colors humans can have their eyes up being.

Arcee: She sits in the same boat as Ratchet for the most part. However she has one aspect of humanity that she is surprisingly fond of. She thinks human hair is quite "cute" in a sense. It reminds her somewhat of stories of Solus and she has always found it fun how humans can style their hair in so many unique ways. She has even gone so far as to ask June to teach her how to braid hair simply because Arcee also finds the texture of hair to be facinating.

Bulkhead: His thoughts on humanity can be summed up simply with: Smol Beans. He thinks they are adorable in the way one would look at a mouse and think it cute. Sure humans can do gross things like execrate and create strange internal liquids and sounds, but they are just so small. He can't help but find that fact appealing.

Wheeljack: He is neither grossed out or really invested in humans. He could care less what they look like. He's been everywhere and seen everything, so very little bothers him anymore when meeting new races. He does think that human teeth are interesting though. Cybertronians have their own version of the mouth bones, but humans growing the mouth bones and then having a few sets of them is something he just thinks is rather inspiring.

Smokescreen: He... doesn't like humans. He's in Ratchet's boat, but he's a lot less tactful in his outward reactions. His first few weeks on Earth involved a lot of gagging at humans as a whole. Squishies are not his cup of tea, but he's learned to handle it for the most part. So long as the squishes are clothed reasonably, he can pretend they are armored and ignore the fact that they are walking bags of bits and bone.

Optimus: He doesn't mind humanity. He doesn't think they are physically appealing in any real regard, but he admires their minds. Such small creatures holding hope and intellect on par with the more technological races is something he finds impressive. He also holds an appreciation for their voices simply because they are clear and without complication. It is new, and for that reason he finds it beautiful in a sense.

Ultra Magnus: He doesn't like humans. Period. He tolerates them for the sake of the team and negotiations, and he may be appreciative of human comrades and friends. But the species as a whole? He is not fond of them. He is largely more confused than anything else. He has no idea how such a fleshy and delicate species lasted so long. But he has largely shrugged it off and moved on with life.

[transingthoseformers]

So, what I've gathered as far as ages (most of this is from the tfwiki descriptions on the characters, closest I've ever gotten to reading the aligned novels, and let's be real some of this might be from things that are technically aligned continuity but technically not??)

Megatron's firmly stated by the tfwiki as having been created during the age of wrath. (It's also noted explicitly that he wasn't created with a set name or personality, which tells us a bunch of the others did) Also, fun fact, the altmode we see in the show isn't really a Cybertronian jet but a shuttle built for space travel. I will proceed to use Megatron as our reference because there's more ambiguity with other characters and also he's my more favorite

The tfwiki having a sentence that Could imply Orion was born before the age of Wrath but he could not have been as well (gonna entirely not mention the Optimus to Orion to Optimus reincarnation thing right now) with him having spent an indeterminate amount of time in the while.

Soundwave was created before or during the age of wrath and the tfwiki states this outright, with it possibly placing him as older than Megatron. He was apparently originally part of Sentinel Prime's council?

Shockwave is placed at a very similar creation time range as Soundwave. Dude spent a lot of time being a cryptid on Cybertron after the whole overthrowing the Quintessons stuff.

The tfwiki is super unhelpful with trying to find around when Starscream was created, or even who he was before the war.

Bumblebee is very much outlined as Cybertron's last generation during the war (and obviously before the Well was revived post-tfp) now I've got a particular headthing where i call all mecha born during the war "Warlings" as a combo of war-sparklings, but that is just me being special decial. Ohhh he was Very adopted by autobot high command

Ratchet is firmly placed as having been born before the age of wrath, is older than Iacon definitely. Beyond that, most of his stuff is mentioned about his actions during the invasion and rebellion against the Quintessons.

Arcee was spying in Kaon before the war, and that's all we got.

Hmm, while we have nothing on Breakdown before the war, i did find something useful. Aligned Breakdown used to be far more similar to the nervous g1 Breakdown we know as a scout. His first interaction with Bulkhead and subsequent major upgrade seens to have dispelled most of it

Segueing to Bulkhead, we know he had a blue collar job and that's it. Great.

Knockout, nothing.

For Wheeljack, we actually got something again! The tfwiki states he was created during the Age of Origins (which... doesn't have a page) which is stated as when transformer civilization started to rise? Wow that's pretty old? Apparently the Wreckers are older than the Autobots, having started as a vigilante group. We might be able to use Wheeljack's age to determine Bulkhead's, and both may very well be as old as Ratchet or older. Hmm.

Ultra Magnus, who is especially old as hell goddamn, was created before or during the age of origins.

Jazz is, you guessed it, before or during the age of wrath. Great. He was an Iacon cultural investigator, apparently.

Ironhide (is this when you realize the wfc games are technically for the aligned continuity yet?) Was created during or before the golden age, which is actually fairly younger than anticipated.

Smokescreen is noted to having been an elite guard cadet at the end of the war (well... the end of the war while on Cybertron) where he got knocked into stasis to be a key container like immediately.

Predaking as we know is a clone so we cannot play by the same rules as the above, and we don't know how long Shockwave was working on him for before popping him to Earth

Darksteek and Skylynx on the other hand we know exactly when they were created as it was the spave between the tfp finale and the epilogue

There are two Sideswipes. I will dub these Sideswipe senior and Sideswipe junior. Sideswipe senior's creation and actions before the war are unknown. Sideswipe junior, also unknown but considering how he was called a teenager in the rid15 pilot, I'm going to assume he was created somewhere near the end of the war or after the war.

Strongarm is a similar situation as Sideswipe junior, and honestly I'm gonna put the RBA kids in a similar category, at the end of the war or directly after.

Oh honey I'm not going through all the RID15 Decepticons as we definitely aren't going to get any timeline answers there.

Hm... the Rescue bots yet again pose questions by defying the rules of the aligned continuity, the tfwiki suggesting they were straight up protoforms upon arriving to earth (which defies what we know that protoforms in the aligned continuity aren't exactly able to be up and walking, and there's the reference that Blades had wheels when he was on Cybertron...) who the fuck knows though, they could've been frozen for Fuck All Knows (at least I've got an Idea when Blurr and Salvage were frozen being the paleolithic-neolithic boundary, thank you Ira lol)

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

How would the tfp cons and bots react to finding a bunch of sparkling in an escape pod

I headcannon that sparklings are tiny enough for humans to hold their entire bodies and look like loaf blobs and make beeping sounds

I hope this is good, because I'm gonna be totally honest: I know next to nothing about sparklings. I know they're pretty much baby Cybertronians, but that's about it. Are they canon? Idk but here goes nothing😂

TFP Autobots Reaction to Sparklings in an Escape Pod

Optimus Prime:

-Dad mode activated

"As Autobots, it is our duty to protect any life on this planet. Especially small fragile life, be it humans, or sparklings."

-He'd assign the other Bots tasks to look after them whenever he can't do it himself. In fact, he lets the humans care for them as well

Miko: "We have to take care of Cybertronian babies instead of going on missions? Laaame!"

Jack: "Well, Miko, maybe this is how the Bots always feel having to constantly look after YOU."

Miko: "Phht. Rude."

Ratchet:

-Oh boy, he's NOT happy

-He'd mutter to himself:

"Oh, joy. Another small, loud creature to distract me from work. How have I managed to get reduced to the team babysitter?"

-He'd have a harder time connecting with the sparklings than with the children, because at least the human kids can TALK.

-In fact, having the sparklings around might bring Ratchet closer to the humans, since he's on the same boat as them, not wanting the responsibility of caring for sparklings

-He isn't a MONSTER, though. Of COURSE he grows to love the sparklings eventually. He's a softy, deep down

Arcee:

-Where IS Arcee, anyway? Nobody's seen her much since Optimus assigned Team Prime tasks involving caring for the sparklings. She said: "I'm going for a drive" and peaced out.

-In short, Arcee is having NONE of this

-Babysitting? No thank you.

-She leaves the MOMENT anyone asks her to feed the sparklings some energon. And she takes Jack with her. Byeeeeeee.

Bulkhead:

"Uhhh...Are we gonna have to take care of them?"

-What a silly guy. He's doing his best.

-He has NO clue what he's doing, though. Like he said, on Cybertron, he was a laborer. He's never cared for a sparkling in his life

-Not to mention Miko's judging him harshly for even trying😂

Miko: "Bulk, we're supposed to be smashing Con tailpipes! When did YOU become some kind of nurse, looking after toddlers? Isn't that RATCHET'S job?"

Ratchet: "YEPYEPYEPYEP that is NOT my job!!!!!!!😤"

-Bulkhead's like:

"Uhh...how much do you feed sparklings again?"

-At least he's trying

Bumblebee:

-He's probably the best at caring for the sparklings, next to Optimus, and he has no problem doing it, once they find them in the escape pod

-If Optimus is the serious, responsible caretaker, Bumblebee is the more fun one

-He plays with the sparklings, and takes them for rides

-Raf helps out, as well

-It's adorable

Wheeljack:

-Bulkhead dragged him along to help care for the sparklings, but he's taking Miko's side. He isn't feeling it.

"If you want me to go soft, you've got another thing comin'."

-Once the sparklings are of age, he'll gladly teach them to be Wreckers

-But until then, he'll try to explain to them how grenades work whenever Bulkhead isn't looking. They don't understand what he's saying, of course, because they're only sparklings, but you've gotta start them young.

Ultra Magnus:

-He's kinda like a supervisor

-He knows exactly what the sparklings need, and when, but whatever the need is, he isn't going to attend to it himself

-He mainly dishes out orders and tells everyone else what to do.

-He doesn't mean to be rude. He's just used to being a commander. During the war, sparklings had to be protected from explosions and whatnot, so he saw to it that soldiers under his command took care of them.

-If anyone could convince Arcee to come back though, it's him, so at least there's that

Smokescreen:

-Chaotic fun uncle energy

-You'd have to keep an eye on Smokescreen at ALL TIMES, because, when the sparklings are under HIS watch, it's pure anarchy

-He'd probably let them drink engex (Cybertronian version of alcohol) and teach them how to conduct pranks on Ultra Magnus

-He's a "no rules" guardian

-Really, Team Prime has to babysit HIM more than the sparklings

[piebymesstuff2]

How would the tfp bots and cons react to meeting a neutral bot who has the personality of Rinny from pretty blood which at first they seem to be kind and friendly but they soon discover they are a sadistic psychopath who enjoys torturing and killing their victims in the most disturbing and painful ways while recording it because they like to remember the moment

Autobot’s

The autobots found you when they received a signal from your ship. They were cautious at first; they wanted to make sure you weren’t a Decepticon, but when they noticed you had no faction, they took you in. They tried to convince you to join them, but you declined and told them you didn’t want to be tied down, so they understood, so you stayed with them for the time being, having no where else to go.

Your relationship with them at first

Those who didn’t trust you: Ratchet,Arcee, Ultra Magnus

Those who got along with you just fine: Bumblebee,Bulkhead,Smokescreen, Optimus

Those who were indifferent of you: WheelJack

After you stay with the team for a while, you start to get on good terms with them until you have to go deal with the cons. They wanted information on what Megatron’s next Energon hit, but the vehi-con wouldn’t share it, so you decided to take over the interrogation by literally ripping the bot's arms and legs, leaving them with just a torso and head recording everything. That's when they give you the information you need. Instead of sparing them, you just rip out their insides and leave them there. When the autobots saw it, they were disgusted and very disturbed.

Those who were just Speechless:

Ratchet, BumbleBee

Those who wanted to destroy you:

Bulkhead, Arcee, Wheeljack, Smokescreen

Those who wanted to try and reason: Optimus Prime

Most of the bots considered you a danger and a major screw-loose. You didn't see a problem, though, since you got them the information they needed. Prime wanted you to see in a different light and realize torture wasn't the way you were kept on the team but under strict supervision.

Decepticons

You met the Decepticons when you invaded their energon mine. When they realized you were a non-faction bot, they wanted to take you in, hoping to convert you to their side, though some didn't see you fit to be a Decepticon with how nice you were.

Those who didn't enjoy your company: Starscream, Shockwave, Megatron

Those who didn't mind your company: Knockout, Dreadwing, Soundwave, Breakdown

When you were aboard, Megatron placed you in charge of keeping the Vehi-Cons in check to make sure they weren't lazying off. While it was fun at first, you got bored and then created your own fun by destroying the bots or just damaging them to cause some permanent effects. The others came to check what was going on when they were receiving an alarming rate of bots in the Med Bay. Their honest reactions

Those who were mortified:

Knockout, Starscream, Breakdown

Those who were intrigued:

Shockwave, Megatron

Those who just didn't display emotion: Soundwave, Dreadwing

While Megatron wasn’t happy about his low crew, he was quite interested in you fighting alongside them, despite Starscream and a little Knockout protest.

I tried a little something new. I hope you enjoy.

[novafire-is-thinking]

Transformers Robot Husband Poll: MBTI Types

A few of you have seen me mention this special interest of mine, but the rest of you are new. Hello, and welcome. I’d like to talk about our Round Three* contenders in light of personality typology, specifically the MBTI theory based on Jungian typology.

(*Why 3 instead of 4? Because I’d planned to post this yesterday and already had those characters listed.)

Yes, I’m aware this is classified as a pseudoscience. Yes, I put a questionable amount of stock in it. Now you see why I’d get along with Drift so well. 😛 This post is for fun, so please don’t take it as seriously as I am unless you’re genuinely curious. The main goal of this post is to present some interesting observations related to the correlation between who are most desirable fictional husbands and their MBTI types. That’s it. A TL;DR is at the end for the Blurrs among you. Anyway, here we go:

While I’m sure most of you have at least heard of MBTI, you should know that it’s not just the four-letter dichotomies: I vs. E, T vs. F, etc. I won’t bore you with the details; I just want you to be aware that mainstream culture has watered down the theory to a four-letter code when there’s far more complexity beneath the surface. Cognitive functions, function axes, etc.

Without further ado, here are the contenders from Round Three (the versions I know best) and what I think each one’s most likely type is:

Cyclonus - ISTJ (IDW)

Whirl - ESTP (IDW)

Misfire - ENTP (IDW)

Ratchet - ISTJ (IDW, TFP, TFA)

Heatwave - ESTJ (Rescue Bots)

Knockout - ESTP (TFP)

Drift - INFP or INFJ (IDW) / ISTJ (RiD15)

Breakdown - ISFP (TFP)

Shockwave - INTJ (IDW, Cyberverse) / INTP (TFP)

Skids - ENTP (IDW)

Soundwave - ISTJ (TFP, IDW, G1) / ISTP (Cyberverse)

Starscream - ENTP (TFP, IDW, G1)

Wheeljack - ISTP (TFP) / ENTP (Cyberverse)

Blaster* - ESFP (G1)

Perceptor - INTP (IDW, Cyberverse, G1)

Jazz* - ESFP or ENFP (G1, RiD15)

Skyfire* - INFJ? (G1)

Tarantulas - ENTP (IDW)

Thundercracker* - ENTP? (G1)

Brainstorm - ENTP (IDW)

Swindle - ENTP (TFA)

*I just skimmed their TFwiki page and guessed.

Bold text means I’m certain of my conclusion.

“What does all of it mean though?”

Well, it tells me that the fandom really loves their xNTPs and xSTJs. You may have no idea what that means on a detailed level, and that’s fine. The short version is that people either love down-to-earth guys who are dependable and know how to get stuff done or the funny guys who have a nerdy, creative, or rebellious streak. This is obvious just from looking at the results and tags, but it’s interesting to me that the overall trends can also be seen through the lens of MBTI.

Now, for the fun part: I’m expecting the semifinal contenders to be Cyclonus, Knockout, Soundwave, and Jazz. Their respective types are ISTJ, ESTP, ISTJ, and ESFP (or ENFP). Once again, opposing temperaments. (i.e. ISxJ vs. ESxP)

Furthermore, the projected finalists are Cyclonus and Soundwave—both of whom are ISTJs. The conclusion is that, despite the appeal of the xNxP guys, ISTJ characters are more likely than any other type to be seen as good husband material, which lines up perfectly with the general stereotypes associated with ISTJs.

TL;DR - The majority of the fandom agrees that ISTJ characters are peak (stereotypical) husband material, and a deeper look at the type would reveal that they are absolutely correct.