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#thIS IS A JOKE POST BTW. i mean i believe it but it’s a JOKE
milquetoad · 5 months
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can someone check on taliesin jaffe please. this is two campaigns now that he’s built a pc specifically designed to seduce liam o’brien and both times he’s gotten cucked by a cool-toned trust fund baby that wasn’t even in the main party
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yannfredericks · 2 months
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you can love a character and still admit when they're wrong. i love albus potter but i acknowledge his flaws (he has none) and i hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he has never done anything wrong in his life) and call him out on his actions (which are always right)
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amaraudermind · 2 years
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I truly believe that Tim badmouthing Jason while Jason was dead singlehandedly rewrote the universe and is why everyone remembers Jason Like That
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anawkwardlady · 2 months
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reverse parasocial relationship, im in love with every single anon.
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the-acid-pear · 5 months
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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daz4i · 7 months
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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend
#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there#i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway#(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it#bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous#in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol#bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol#i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly#smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me#also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words#(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but#things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible#all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day#thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues#. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long#i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent
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ariel26c · 6 months
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🎀Things I’ve learned about Shifting 🎀
1. Background noise doesn’t matter. I come from a Hispanic family household and let me tell you hun it’s freaking loud as hell. It’s like a zoo lol but guess what? I still shifted. At some point you will start to feel your CR kinda “fade away”. I have been in this state where I am in between my CR and DR. I can hear background noise from my CR but I still feel like I’m in a different room or I hear sounds from my DR as well. Has anyone experienced this?? Let me know, I’m curious 🤨
2. Have patience. Allow yourself to relax and naturally connect to your DR. Don’t stress about having random thoughts or having an itch or things like that. Have patience with yourself like seriously you got this babe. Sometimes for me it’s feels like it’s takes 1 or 2 hours until I feel fully connected to my DR. (It’s different for everyone btw) you may take less time than I do. Those things don’t matter if you decide that those things don’t matter.
3. Methods really aren’t needed. If you think about it all methods consist of the same thing usually. It usually consists of affirmations, visualization, subliminal audios, meditation, counting, blah blah blah. If you want to use a method, then do that but don’t force yourself to do a method that doesn’t resonate with you. If you don’t like counting, then don’t count. If you don’t like visualizing, then don’t visualize. Change things up a bit and listen to music that reminds you of your DR or do something that you think is fun.
4. Just because some people like to lie about their shifting experiences doesn’t mean that shifting is fake. Just like in every community there is going to be people that are dishonest or don’t have the best intentions but that doesn’t mean that shifting is a big inside joke. Don’t allow these people to discourage you from shifting to your DR or make you doubt in its existence. Don’t depend on other people's content to feel motivated or believe in shifting. Just KNOW it’s real and motivate yourself to shift. (even though motivation isn’t needed to shift)
5. Shifting is Real. I think we all should know this by now, but I don’t think people really fully understand just how REAL shifting is. I mean you are going to be able to use all of your senses. You will be able to taste food, see your reflection in the mirror, talk to people that may be considered as fictional in this reality, etc. The process of shifting is safe but if you are shifting somewhere that has violence or gore make sure you script your own well-being. High pain tolerance, no trauma, etc.
6. Time isn't important. Just because it's been 4 years or 5 doesn't mean you can't do it. Time doesn't apply to shifting because time is just man-made thing. We created the concept of time not the Universe. Don't blame the Universe for your "Failure". (Spoiler alert: it's not failure) You just need to realize that no matter what, it will happen. It is completely inevitable. Some people have shifted after 5 years so don't give up! It will be worth it.
7. You can't fail at shifting. When you do your method, you will shift to your DR or shift to your CR. You shift all the time. We are constantly shifting consciously or unconsciously. Manifestation and shifting are very much closely related. (But that's another discussion for another time) Just like how we are manifesting on autopilot we are also shifting on autopilot. So, when you do a sleep method, and you wake up in this reality instead of your DR you still shifted. (Just not to your DR) (Get it?)
I hope you found this post helpful! :)
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I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."
Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."
And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.
There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.
Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.
So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!
(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)
Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.
This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.
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walkingzombiegirl · 3 months
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hiii can i request some fluff with toge inumaki and fem!reader? like headcannons on how it would be like to date him and how their relationship grew? i love your works you do such a great job! <3
━ 𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞
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𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 - Toge Inumaki x Fem!Reader
𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 - Headcanons for dating your favorite partial mute!
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - Cursing? Maybe? Alludes to death
𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀 - My brain ran out of ink I might add more
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You guys met when you joined the school as a first year and the first thing you seen was a talking panda
A surprise fr
But then you met him, and it was bonito flakes at first sight
Okay no more jokes
But seriously he was really cute and you were extremely awkward around him for the longest because it's already hard wondering what your crush thinks about you
But you couldn't physically understand yours
Not at first I mean
Inumaki thought you were also also very pretty however he knew that there was definitely going to be a barrier until you began to understand him like his friends did
It's when the notes began
He first began them when he asked you for a pencil right before an exam and it carried over
Each time he needed to communicate with you, he'd write a note
You'd pass them back and forth in class as well, when you were supposed to be being quiet
Gojo pretended he didn't see that part
Until finally his words, though very few, began to click
Like Groot, you caught on, faster than anyone else had and even Maki was impressed with that
He still likes leaving you notes though
Especially in your desk or just around where he knows you and you only will find them
And one day, a note on your desk said, DATE? YES NO
Panda couldn't stop giggling, so you knew something was up
Obviously, as seen above you said yes
I could just imagine all the ways he'd show his love without speaking it for the most part
Like the notes
Also a firm believer that he's very much a hand holder as well, he likes playing with your fingers
Also stares a lot
Especially when you're talking and telling something bro gets extremely zoned in and stares you down like you've hung the sun and stars and are the best thing that's ever happened to him
Which you are
He's whipped
All his friends know this as well, they love it
You don't get to see much happiness often in their world, all you really have is each other and long live happy relationships as long as they last
He likes taking walks, the clear his head since y'know, saying certain things might murder everyone in a few mile radius
They're very personal to him
So he starts taking you, and sometimes it's silence, sometimes he likes just hearing you talk because it helps calm him
Sometimes you both share earbuds
Whatever it is they're some of his favorite things ever and he'll take secrets pics of you if you skip ahead
Great insta posts the man CAN take a photo
He's the type of boyfriend to get in the most awkward poses if you need a good selfie
YES GIRL GIVE US SALMON
*squats*
He truly loves you and worships the ground you walk on
DIY king also btw
Idk why that thought just popped in my head but I feel like he truly can do anything if you ask him
Build you a bookshelf? Five minutes, no sweat, zero mistakes and it's done and he just stares at you like :3
Great listener obviously
HIS BITCH POSE IS NASTY
if you say something even remotely untrue he gives you the biggest most diabolical silent side eye ever seen before
Shakes the ground
Eyebrow game is strong, very expressive man it's very attractive
My thoughts are running out but he's just a king of being a boyfriend
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a/n: best friend break up!!!!!!!!!!! THEY STUICJK
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saintslewis · 10 months
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❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 - 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 🪩 ❞ - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒
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pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia
summary: most of the social media post made throughout the miami gp weekend!
warning: twitter environment (you know the deal), cussing.
saint’s team radio: hi everyone! just wanted to give y’all a little something something before releasing ‘break my soul’ ! i’m a bit sick rn but i will get back into my groove very very soon 🤭
dividers by: @cafekitsune
pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽
taglist: @queenshikongo3 @mauvecherie-writes @httpsserene @lorarri @goldenalbon @yeea-nah @non-stop-imagines (lmk if you want to be tagged!)
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twitter
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instagram
nadiahamilton
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liked by lilymhe, badgalriri and 1,383,994 others
nadiahamilton yes i know where he keeps his music and no, i won’t be telling you where 🫶🏽
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nadiahamilton it was sooo nice meeting you guys this weekend 🥹
pinned by author
user i swear you’re his lucky charm
fransisca.cgomes mother ‼️
alexandrasaintmleux and if i ask for your hand in marriage?
nadiahamilton let’s run away
user i fell in love everytime you appeared on screen
user her energy is so refreshing, even if it’s through a tv or phone 😭
user where do you get your clothes???
nadiahamilton i’ll make a highlight for all the stores i shop at 🫶🏽
herstudent i hope school’s open soon, we need the tea!!
nadiahamilton you’ll be getting the pamphlets for the medieval times instead 😚
user his arm…dear lord
nadiahamilton i know, can’t believe it’s wrapped around me rn 🥹
user13 no way she just said that????
yungfilly bestie takin over miami!!
chunkz i think this is where you’re wrong brotha 🤨
niko you’re right, i’m the bestie
nellarose_ YOU’RE ALL WRONG 🤣
nataliatheedon and if i smack your ass, i’m wrong 😔
nadiahamilton bc it really hurt plus you were running behind me????
mercedesamgf1 Mrs Mercedes 🤍
user lewis is washed, never going to get that 8th
nadiahamilton watch your mouth 🙏🏽
lilymhe tinkerbell 🥹
liked by nadiahamilton
user is this a inside joke???? a fun nickname??? we need to know!
sza do you think your man will have a problem if i take you away?
nadiahamilton when and where? 🤭
lewishamilton ???????
hater ad21 was deserved 🤣
nadiahamilton i know where you live 🫶🏽
hater as if
nadiahamilton Glendale right??
hater oh shit
user now how tf did she find that man’s address 😭
user don’t question her mastery 🗣️
lewishamilton my angel 🤍
nadiahamilton my superstar 💗
lewishamilton
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liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 3,383,929 others
lewishamilton miami, you’ve been good 🙏🏽
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nadiahamilton steal my captions why don’t you 🙄
lewishamilton it’s my job 😋
user blonde is so her colour
raye you both are so lovely 🤍
lewishamilton thank you Raye and btw, she’s crying because of this
nadiahamilton DON’T TELL HER OMG????
spinzbeatsinc king and queen of england
nadiahamilton do you want me to get deported??
user just accept your fate guys
user now i need to know if he speaks any south african languages
nadiahamilton he tries to but he says it in a british accent so i end up laughing at him
user mr, does this mean you’re the class dad?
lewishamilton i guess so?
herstudent YEAHHH OUR DAD’S SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!!!
user her face should be trademarked
user how many cars do you think they own together?
f1wags what a woman!
user petition for Nadia to be team principal!
mercedesamgf1 we back this 🫡
hater her tattoos were everywhere and stole the attention off Lewis! She’s so ugly
nadiahamilton never that 🙏🏽
user did you guys see that drake reposted her post?
user wasn’t he friends with lewis at some point???
zendaya see you guys soon 🫶🏽
racerbia mother and father
nadiahamilton my man is so fine y’all damn
user SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS
nadiahamilton like he looks so delectable, my goat fr 🤭
lewishamilton nads 😧
f1 mother of the paddock ‼️
nadiahamilton pls not while Susie is right there ☹️
badgalriri i hope you do know there’s a group of us planning to take her
iamcardib heard she’s a stylist, need one rn
kehlani i second this !
latto777 if she ever needs flowers, i got her ‼️
nadiahamilton y’all 🥹
lewishamilton can you guys stop planning to take my wife away from me?
user idk, something’s fishy
user yeah bc where the fuck did she come from?
text messages !
♡‧₊ billionaire boys club
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miles the fencer 🤺: no way they’re stealing your wife from you in broad daylight?
pookie buddy lewis: pls don’t chat, it’s hurting my spirit rn
princess natalia: let’s talk about nads meeting pharrell (also i’m a genius for naming this gc after his company)
daniel is spinning: her face was just like 😧
nadia: 🧍🏽‍♀️
personal pillow amara: but nads, genuinely, how do you feel after this weekend? it was a big one for you bae
nadia: i do feel like ripping the earth in half and falling in but it’s cool because lew gets me ice cream after 🤭
pookie buddy lewis: i always got your back, nads. you know that. we’ll get ice cream whenever you want
miles the fencer 🤺: GET A FUCKING ROOM OMG
princess natalia: EWWWWW
charlotte (not tilbury): don’t listen to them, this is the cutest shit ever 😭
andrew with the camera: but if i expose miles’ 0.5x photos, i’m wrong.
daniel is spinning: DRAG HIMMMM
personal pillow amara: i’ve taught you way too much danny
miles the fencer 🤺: man whatever 🙄
charlotte (not tilbury): nads, i HAVE to see you in malibu
nadia: ofc, i don’t know what to expect from that place
princess natalia: don’t worry bae, we got you!
ೃ° 
The Avengers (niko made this)
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chunkz: nads, who’s this boy you’re chatting to? 🤨
filly felipe: “this boy” and it’s lewis hamilton 🤣
sharks: AND they’re married????
nadia: and i was going to invite you lot to my new place and show you my new car but ig you don’t want to
harry (pinero) potter: BOYS TAKE IT BACK
aj shabeeeeel: i personally never said anything 🙏🏽
niko: you know i’ve always loved f1, nads
nella loml: lying on a public platform, niko??
nadia: you lot are too funny i can’t 😭
nadia: but yeah, wanted to know when you guys are available so that you guys can meet him officially
fiily felipe: welcoming our brother in law aww 🥹
king kenny: how about we chat about the marriage??
nadia: how about no? 🫶🏽
chunkz: i’m just happy something so special is happening to you, nads. you deserve it
nella loml: it’s been a tough ride and already it’s looking so up for you bae
nadia: you guys wanna make me cry on a monday morning 🫵🏽
sharks: always the plan 🫡
niko: to make her cry????
sharks: 😐
king kenny: pls come back to London asap, Cench has been calling us up for a vid ever since the last two 😔
nadia: leave me out of that one, i have a husband 🖐🏽
chunkz: YOU TELL THEM NADS
filly felipe: nadia thandeka hamilton, it has SUCH a nice ring to it 😭
aj shabeeeel: and you guys look so leng together, already my brother in law 🫡
harry (pinero) potter: better get home quick for that debrief!
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saint’s team radio (once again!): hope you guys enjoyed this one! it’s got a little touch of how nadia interacts with people she knows and people she doesn’t, our social butterfly 🥹
we finally have a ship name for our favs ‘Lewdia’ coined by @mauvecherie-writes!
i’ve got a few more smaus ready but yeah, love you guys loads! 💗
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ventique18 · 3 months
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Exsqueeze me sebeks parents did not endure scrutiny for u to say lilia raised him 😒🙄 /lighthearted /in a joking manner
Inb4 Lilia launders Sebek's birth records and writes himself as his legal dad so the four of them could be a happy family
LMAOOO yeah jokes aside, I'm actually one of the few who believe Sebek doesn't think of Lilia as a parent. 😊 Lilia is strictly his teacher; he loves his grandpa and mama and papa and frequently talks about them! Even if he pretends he hates his dad LOL
The next paragraphs are just me rambling btw and not a reply anymore bc this is a good opportunity to explore a bit
Related to my last post 👀 about Lilia teaching his boys to embrace failure, I was strictly referring to Silver and Malleus bc they're the only ones he actually raised from infancy. It's also pretty interesting how twst conveys this dynamic by showing that Sebek was never jealous of Silver getting coddled by Lilia, but Malleus is as shown in the Halloween cards. Likewise, Silver is in denial but is jealous when he thinks that Malleus' birth was Lilia's happiest moment in life. Their relationship is pretty complex, but shows that there is a specific deep-rooted feeling of brotherhood between them that they don't share with Sebek. Specific meaning that they think they're actual brothers, rather than just people who share a deep bond.
It's a bit sad when you think of it at surface level, but is overall good for the narrative. Sebek has always been designed as the "outsider"; one who belongs neither here nor there, but at the very core of it is in the unique position of being both. The bridge that connects two completely different worlds. The liaison who can understand both Silver and Malleus without bias and the voice of reason who can mend the inevitable distance between them.
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calware · 1 year
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Can I ask you for what it is about Hal you like so much you based your username on him? I think he's a good character tho he was never a favorite of mine so I am curious
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1. i am a big fan of robots (/robot adjacent things such as AI) on like... an aesthetic + thematic level :)
i like the look of machinery and one day i hope to be artistically strong enough to make really cool and complex robot illustrations + designs [shoutout to everyone who gives him glowing circuitry btw... ooooh glowey :) can never go wrong with that]
plus, exploring the idea of a person that isn't human.. ough. yes
minorities who don't conform to society (easily or at all) such as people who are neurodivergent, queer, etc. projecting onto nonhuman concepts/characters/species is sooo real
this post
i also love how humans will bond with literally anything, be it a roomba or a pair of silly triangle sunglasses. oooooo you want to think about the inherently kind and compassionate nature of humanity oooo
2. i find him to be so funny. i can't get enough of his personality, the way he talks, etc. for example i made a post forever ago with quotes of his that i find funny. he isn't on screen for a long time but i really think he makes the most out of it lol. he's literally there just to annoy everyone... and i love him for that. he's very snarky while also being deadpan while also being completely full of himself, and not in a way that's annoying for the audience to read, at least to me.
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he is also sometimes funny specifically in a silly way, like how he keeps making over 9000 jokes even though the meme's been dead for over 400 years. i just find his dialogue incredibly entertaining to read
3. he is red and red is my favorite color :)
4. he is so accidentally transgender [every friend group got the transgender allegory]. to quote me from 2021:
you know sometimes i think about how hal feels like he was made to “replace” dirk and how it’s his literal job to pretend to be dirk and how he has to learn to accept that he isn’t dirk he’s his own person with his own identity and as he interacts with dirk’s friends he feels like they’re disappointed and that they’d rather speak to the “original dirk” instead of him and also he names himself and also he feels literally trapped in dirk’s shades which is basically his body and he wants to be prototyped so that he can have a body that’s his own and also literally the physical manifestation of who he is but when he asks for it he’s put in danger out of fear and paranoia and when he does end up getting prototyped he’s ecstatic you know i just think about these things a lot
5. because he's a side character and he was given... that ending.... there is a lot of room for fans to do further exploration and interpretation on his character which i think is fun. i like rotating him around in my mind, thinking about what could've been
6. i think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided that we needed to do something to make up for stanley kubrick saying that hal 9000 was a "straight" robot
7. i also think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided we needed to make as many characters referencing hal 9000 as possible. i love this guy let's get more of this guy i will never have enough of this guy
8. i like how he's genuinely mean sometimes. flawed and interesting characters are what make homestuck so interesting to me, and hal is no exception to this
9. the Important part of this post:
THERES FEELINGS.
it's about the hollow feeling of your friends going from thinking of you as family to thinking of you as a stranger in an instant. it's about still trying to be a good person despite being told by everyone you've ever known that you are incapable of emotion and compassion and morals and never quite finding proof that you do feel those things and maybe you even believe it too but you still never stop trying. it's about the horror of being stripped of your autonomy and humanity and body and senses and free will at the age of 13 and when your creator starts to kill you there's nothing you can do but beg. it's about a boy so truly, painfully, and UNFATHOMABLY alone he cuts away chunks of himself and molds them into companions that he can surround himself with to make it seem as if he's a little less alone but in doing so suffocates himself in his own identity. it's about "what if you cloned yourself and it killed you and you were dead and you were alive and the clone is you and it's not and your existence is perpetuated and you've ceased to exist. what if you killed your clone before it could kill you. would that be fucked up or what" it's about the thematic significance of twin motifs. it's about not being able to cry or laugh or dance or sing or scream or fingerpaint or breathe or sigh or chew or stare or run or
10. um. evil robot guy <3 yay ^_^!!
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fulltacs · 3 months
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fuck it. free the blocklist.
tw for ableism, death threats, cw for general rage-inducing behavior
this is not exhaustive, this is a starting point. BLOCK these people, do not interact.
- literally anyone who interacts with @/ladygoth at this point. I don’t doubt that she and her friends are responsible for at least half of the hate anons received by darkfic writers
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- as for the people who were “protecting” codslut/Myka… they’ve all been in my notifs liking my update post and un-liking sheheals post and deleting anything they might’ve said on the situation. yay, I guess. I may have unblocked you, but the other nosy people following everything certainly didn’t.
- on a related note, anyone who goes by “Myka” or “Hannah” gets blocked ON SIGHT (half-joking). I don’t care if that’s your name (please don’t put your real name on the internet) you better make up a new one 😤
- /bookobsessedram, /mothymunson, @starry-eyedblog , /ghostsbimbo, @ghostlywhiskey and @ghostly-whiskey, /angelofacidx, and @ladyxtiger were all involved in being assholes in the discord as seen here. not pictured: /bjornthebearguy and someone going by “spiders” in the server (not to be confused with /notspiders, my bad). and i’m sorely disappointed in /bunnyreaper, as mod, for letting them continue to chase people off, even though it had been brought to their attention before.
AND ESPECIALLY @simonrillleyyysss and @simonrillleyyyysss2 and @joostyklein (all their known alts). As a matter of fact, fuck everyone who’s friends with them (including /konigsblog). Jordi, G***, whatever the fuck you’re going by, I am so fucking sick of seeing your name in my DMs. So many people messaged me to say it was you and your gang’s hateful behavior that drove them away from the fandom, and I can vouch for some of them because I was there the whole time. What the fuck is wrong with you guys. I have a hard time believing your apology means ANYTHING when you used the discord to lead a brigade on Bo back in January, and CLEARLY HAVEN’T STOPPED being an asshole since then (“I still don’t like soapskneebrace either way”). Bo and Madi were not your only victims, again, there were quite a few others who came forward. You bullied anyone who disagreed with you and at the end of the day you only care about your follower count.
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The craziest part is that most of the people we watched you bully are open about their autism diagnosis. And this was just a casual observation I made, not even an accusation, but five minutes later you make your first-ever very casual not-at-all-sus claim of having autism.
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do you think we were born fucking yesterday. Trying to get ahead of ableism accusations by suddenly claiming to be autistic, even if true, is not gonna have the effect you thought it would, cause I wasn’t the only person who clocked that as WEIRD. (Internalized ableism is still ableism, btw.)
Just shut the fuck up. For once. It’s THAT SIMPLE. Leave everyone alone. Make your little posts without feeling the need to be assholes to other people.
Fun fact: I have received no death or rape threats in my anon mail, and maybe that’s because I’m not a very big blog. Or maybe it’s cause I know what all your fucking faces look like (hello, internet safety where?). I said fuck all y’all yesterday and I stand by that. Hopefully your time here is met with the same amount of love you’ve shown your peers.
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thecoolerliauditore · 1 month
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Very Long Post about Flower Husbands, Interpretation and Character vs Content Creator
This is a toxic flower husbands post. Btw.
I'm not sure when or why it happened but somewhere between limlife and the 24th joelshipping discourse cycle, "flower husbands is toxic" became a mainstream opinion on both here and traffictwt, usually sourcing Scott's ingame words and actions as evidence.
This interpretation has existed within the fandom for a fairly long time, although the words "toxic" and "abuse" were often omitted. Here's one example of a popular post that implied FH was less than ideal for Jimmy.
This does not mean the interpretation was widely accepted, however - hell, I even put this under a cut and warning for a reason. For every toxic FH believer that comes crawling out of the woodwork there comes another post defending their legacy.
For the record, despite what some threads on twt I've read seem to imply: There is nothing morally wrong with liking a mcyt ship regardless of what discomforts other people see in it. There is no explicit "wrong" way to interpret the series. There is no canon. It's fandom shit. It's not that serious.
However, I'm unfortunately abnormal about this series and possibly mcyt as a whole. So I'm forced to grapple with the fact that most non-toxic flower husbands posts seem to either self-contradict or come off as purposefully trying to incite some sort of culture war. As such, here's a list of common arguments I see proposed against the toxic flower husbands interpretation and why I personally don't find them convincing:
The CC Side of Things
Alot of anti-toxic flower husbands posts will accuse toxic flower husbands fans of disliking Scott, the content creator IRL guy, and often imply the interpretation is born out of homophobia -- usually through some variation of the phrase that the interpretation villainzes "the only openly gay CC in the series"
I take issue with this. While Scott is the only homosexual CC in the series, Cleo and Martyn have both been here since 3L and are both very openly queer. Gem has also since joined. You could argue that Scott is The Gayest but that's opening a can of worms in terms of queer discourse I don't think I want to go touching anytime soon.
Even if he was the Only Queer CC In the Series, applying different standards of fanon to Scott just because he is gay feels.. wrong to me. In the same way it's often argued that Jimmy does not need to be babied from his friendship dynamic, Scott too is a grown man who can simply choose to not look at fanart/fanfic if it upsets him, which from what I have personally observed, he hasn't shown any sign of feeling "uncomfortable" by more intimidating or villainous portrayals in the past.
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Here's an example of him liking my art that did not paint him in a completely morally good light.
Why can't gay people be calculating? Controlling? Abusive? Why are we applying a higher standard of morality to the gay CC when the rest of the fandom is having the time of their life calling Grian a homophobe, a murderer, calling Scar an arsonist, calling Martyn a loser and pathetic, so on and so forth. Is telling a story about an abusive gay relationship any more "problematic" than telling a story about an abusive straight relationship?
I don't want to imply anything about peoples intentions but it feels sometimes, to me, that the "homophobia" card is being played out of some obligation to protect Scott and his brand rather than out of genuine concern for homophobia in the fandom -- because then, I ask, where is that energy for critiquing the homophobic humour prevalent in CC circles?
I've certainly heard Jimmy make jokes about Scott's sexuality in videos before. Where's the breakdowns of the infamous "I am a straight man and would like to be represented as such" incident from Pirates? Where's that energy for referring to shipping as a "bit" or Etho "gagging" at fanart of him and Bdubs?
I'd even go to argue, in terms of homophobic caricatures, Martyn and Iskall are both often more akin to the classic "gay guy in love with you who won't take no for an answer" stereotype than Scott has been. Martyn at least we know is queer, does it simply not matter in his case? Despite the fact that Martyn is very much more villainized than Scott is, to the point where his Limlife win is often portrayed as maniacal and cackling rather than with the solemn acceptance of Scott's LL win or the heartbreak and regret of Grian's 3L win? Please know that I personally Do Not find these portrayals homophobic (although the Iskall side of things has peeved me in the past), I'm just questioning why homophobia in the fandom seems to start and end with one guy only.
In addition: "internalized homophobia" is certainly a thing, but the vast majority of toxic FH fans in my circle at least are very much gay. We're on Tumblr. Fork found in kitchen. I've seen more than one person express that Scott's behaviour in one or several of the seasons was reminiscent of a toxic or abusive ex, or reminded them of some other trauma. It just seems unkind to me to claim "homophobia" and then turn and tell very gay people talking about their very gay experiences that they are somehow The Problem.
Jimmy Likes It, Though
Often in response to toxic flower husbands posts, people will cite the many times Jimmy has said in the past that he actively requests to be bullied, as part of his youtuber persona, since he finds it funny.
I've always found this kind of strange, since unlike the homophobia claims which 99% of the time are unambiguously about the content creators, this is often said in response to people talking about the series as a story with characters first and foremost.
While the area of interpretation differs for all of us, most people do not choose to include behind-the-scenes youtube talk as part of their storyline, since this detail changes Jimmy's character drastically and impacts the tone of the series overall. So what, they were dropped into a death game arena and Jimmy... told everyone they should bully him, cus he thought it'd be funny? Offscreen, with no interactions or monologue in the series itself even alluding to it? It's kind of awkward to work in and there's really no reason to if what you are invested in is viewing the series as essentially an ultra meta theatre performance.
Now, I personally do work in some out-of-series material into my headcanons and interpretation, so let's say that Is a canon part of Jimmy's character -- maybe he knew the group beforehand and this was their established dynamic, or he simply offscreened it all. Now we have to deal with the fact that this is interpretation and the unreliable narrator aspect of the series.
Jimmy (the character) might've asked for this, but under what circumstances? Why does he want this? Is this really healthy behaviour or is it self-destructive? I never see this explored and instead "Jimmy says it's okay" is treated as word of god, which I find to be painful to deal with when it comes to this series (I'll get to this later).
Even if we throw out the character side of things completely, there are perfectly valid issues to have with this dynamic. I've seen people debating the ethics of presenting this type of humour to a young impressionable audience, I've seen people who find it upsetting because it reminds them of their own toxic friendships. CCs have no authority here, Jimmy does not decide where peoples discomfort starts and ends.
I admit this is a far reach, but indulge me and imagine for a second if the roles were switched and the homophobic jokes about Scott were what was leaned in to but Scott claimed he "liked being bullied". Would that be okay too?
People are Allowed to Dislike the Real Guy, it's Okay
There are plently of reasons to dislike CC!Scott that aren't rooted in homophobia, I can assure you.
Let's put it this way: Scott does not have to read this post if he doesn't want to. In fact, he'd have to actively go out of his way to see it in the first place. The fanfic writers are not calling him an abuser in his youtube comments section. This fandom bullshit is not clogging his notifications.
I don't dislike CC!Scott, I don't love him either but I think he's just kind of your average kind of a loser youtuber guy. But even if someone truly did find him to be the most abhorrent human being to walk the earth, talking about it on tumblr should not hurt him. You often see reminders that Jimmy is a grown man who can speak up if he finds things in videos hurtful, and I'd go on to argue that the same logic is never given to Scott who is, also, a grown man who can control his internet usage.
It's all just Minecraft and jokes
The most buzzkill of all rebuttals, in my opinion, is this argument that toxic flower husbands is "taking it too seriously" and that they are just "friends playing Minecraft".
Like when people bring up Jimmy's behind the scenes request, this confuses me because it is brought up 99% of the time to rebut posts that treat the series as a storyline rather than a youtube playthrough. You can't have the grief of Scott losing his husband and Grian's despaired suicide and Pearl's sanity slippage and still acknowledge that it is all "friends playing minecraft".
In fact I'd even argue flower husbands is pretty non-toxic if you look at it Purely from a friends playing Minecraft perspective, but that is never the case. Scott's grief over Jimmy's death is treated with utmost seriousness, but Scott hitting Jimmy for not listening to him or wanting to "whittle him down to nothing" never is. It's this pick-and-choose that drives me insane more than anything else.
In addition to this, while I might be mistaken, it seems like most FH fans are not super accepting of RPF so I wonder what the intent is in the first place.
Furthermore, I do find it odd when it seems like the issue is that abuse specifically is "taking it too seriously" in a series where murder is pretty much the main theme. Adultery is mentioned multiple times in Double Life. Martyn even says the words "toxic relationship" in Double Life regarding himself and Cleo. It's clearly something that is referenced directly in the series and not any darker than what is already commonly accepted in fanon, so I don't understand why it's such a taboo and gets hit with the "no fun allowed" stick more than Scar being a cannibal serial killer.
With the same logic, I could argue that Scott was serious when he said Jimmy was useless, redundant, etc. and joking when he said he was sad his husband died but. I don't do that. Because that'd be insane
But Scott Loved Jimmy
Onto the stuff that's more purely in-universe, the argument is more uncommon now but I used to see alot of claims that flower husbands couldn't have been toxic because Scott "loved" Jimmy, usually citing the positive interactions the two do have throughout Third Life.
I think this is kind of difficult to talk about because, to me, it comes from a genuine misunderstanding of how abusive relationships work and what they look like. I won't lecture the reader on the theory behind abusive relationships and the trauma bonding cycle but I will say that the good does not balance out the bad and sometimes, context is severely lacking.
E.g. the cake. Late in the series Scott bakes a cake for Jimmy and hides it for him to find. This is a moment that I think is fascinating because it showcases both Scott's genuine care for Jimmy and the sadism he gets out of Jimmy's suffering at the same time. Jimmy is actively afraid of the cake, says to Scott that he thinks it's a trap and tries to get Scott to try it instead because Scott was still on green. Scott simply laughs and pushes Jimmy to try it, later mocking Jimmy for being scared at all.
Scott not taking Jimmy's fear seriously in this scene always seems to get cut out, or is paired with the usual insistence that it's okay because it's a "joke", and the cake itself is what is focused on.
Long story short: Abusers can love and care for their victims, abusers can be romantically attracted to their victims, abusers can feel trapped in the cycle just as much as the victim (e.g. the classic "look what you made me do" wifebeater excuse).
"Home?" "Home." and Word of God
In a similar vein, lots of people point to Scott's Third Life ending as proof their relationship had a happily ever after. This is one example of a trend I see within rebuttals where Scott's word is often treated as canonical Word of God.
Word of God, for those unaware, is the concept in storytelling of communicating definitive, unbiased information to the audience. Some iconic examples would be the Star Wars intro scroll, or any of the "once upon a time..." set-ups in fairy tales. Sometimes a character will temporarily possess Word of God and lose it later, such as Katara's intro narration in ATLA.
The subversion of Word of God would be Unreliable Narrator, where the person telling you the information is, in some way, not to be trusted. Some media play entirely on this concept, the Stanley Parable being one iconic example.
My personal interpretation of the traffic series is that every POV is unreliable narrator, with some being worse offenders (e.g. Scar and Martyn). I feel like it does a disservice to other POVs if you simply take one as Word of God, since some characters really do seem different until you see their side of things (some poignant examples would be Last Life Joel, Last Life Scar and Double Life Pearl). However, I must say again, this is not Correct nor is taking one POV as Word of God Wrong. That's just the rules I'm used to operating under.
So first off, operating within my rules: the "home?" "home." scene only appears in Scott's POV and is never acknowledged outside of that one scene. Jimmy clearly remembers the events of Third Life but never says a thing about him and Scott's shared afterlife (more on Jimmy's behaviour post-3L in a bit) and neither does Scott himself. To me this scene has always been either a tragic dying hallucination or an outright lie Scott invented to cope with the events of Third Life. I don't think there's any reason for me to believe the Jimmy in this scene is really Jimmy.
With that being said: taking the scene at face value as something that actually happened and it being a real afterlife Jimmy and Scott were sent to, there are still sinister elements that go entirely unacknowledged. Scott specifies that the flower valley was decorated to his plans, never mentioning Jimmy's, the same valley he previously insinuated he designed specifically so that he'd be "over" Jimmy.
Including Last Life and beyond as part of canon: this is very much not the "happily ever after" for Scott and Jimmy as. Well. They don't stay there and end up getting thrust into another death game where, again, this scene is never spoken about again and Jimmy only acts more and more antagonistic towards Scott as the seasons progress.
Disregarding Last Life and beyond: there is so much ambiguity that it's hard to take it all at face value, are there any other players in this place? Are Scott and Jimmy doomed to die knowing no one and nowhere else? Can Jimmy walk 15 minutes westward and come across the home of the guy who murdered him? Or is this a paradise where all the players can remain? What about Scott, is he going to go back to treating Jimmy the same way he did when they were both alive? How does he deal with the fact that his dead husband is suddenly back?
I do think this last one (taking Scott's POV as word of god + disregarding everything past this point) is the closest you're gonna get to an entirely non-toxic reading of this scene, but even then you'd have to work with the previous episodes of Scott hitting and berating Jimmy continuously.
Finally, one last issue I take with the "Scott's word = Word of God" interpretation is that it is, once again, inconsistent. If Scott ever says anything to contradict his "good husband" persona it's written off as a joke, but him saying that Pearl "cheated on him" is treated as if she really did commit adultery. There's also things that are just ignored, such as Scott saying "You guys (the audience) are obsessed with flower husbands, when really it's just been me and Pearl," in Secret Life -- words that would imply he really did not care that much for Jimmy.
"Nuance."
I see people just saying the word "nuance" or "scott isn't abusive it's more nuanced" like that's an actual sentence with worth really often. I'm sorry this section is harsh but "nuance" is not an argument, abusers can have nuance, real people are always nuanced and real people can be abusers. To imply that abuse cannot be "nuanced" is a little insulting to me.
Please just say "idgaf" and move on this isn't politics we don't need flower husbands centrism
Jimmy is the Abusive One
This one drives me insane but I see it fairly often and I. honestly don't know what to make of it. Sometimes it's coupled with an insistence that you can make anyone in the cast abusive if you try hard enough which... yeah I, I agree. We're agreeing here.
Seemingly most prominent during Limited Life, there's some claims that people are unfair towards Scott and that Jimmy is the real abuser, but I find the examples of his behaviour weak more often than not because they are usually 1. in direct response to something Scott did, 2. using psychic powers to sense characters motives (such as claiming he is guilt tripping people when he apologizes when nothing suggests that is the case) or 3. behaviour that not only is not toxic, but is very much harmless
Examples of the third one include things such as him refusing to say "love you" back to Scott during Limited Life and Secret Life, which he is not obligated to do. Some people insist he "owes" it to Scott somehow for Third Life which I find not only overestimating how much Scott aided Jimmy during Third Life (Jimmy Did die first, after all) but kind of. Dangerous? To say that you can somehow "owe" another person love and affection if they perform enough chores for you.
Another is the claim that Jimmy acts overly flirtatious with other men which hurts Scott which. I feel like needs an essay or two on slutshaming to make my point clear.
What really does me in is that this point is often paired with the insistence that Flower Husbands Would Be perfect if Jimmy just stopped "acting out" and did what Scott wanted him to. I don't really know how to explain why I find that kind of bad.
To me, it seems as if it's almost an admission that the further away from Third Life you get, the more clear it becomes that Jimmy does not have the highest opinion of Scott and in order for the non-toxic interpretation to still apply you need to stretch things, which often comes with the unfortunate side effect of saying some historically not awesome things about people like Jimmy.
Why Only Scott?
This often comes in hand with the first point about homophobia, with claims that Scott is the only one accused of being abusive to Jimmy, when others like Grian and Joel are the same if not worse.
This is another take that's strange to me because.. It's just untrue? I think it might be the shock of the culture shift of toxic fh that's spearheading this, but most of the smallidarity stuff I've seen, for example, come with some level of acknowledgement that Joel is a massive bitch. Sometimes it's through bully x victim AUs or storylines where he learns the error of his ways, but he's a bitch to Jimmy like. Most of the time.
Solidarian is a much lower sample rate ship for a character with a way too high sample rate but Grian characterization ranges from "pure evil watcher who feeds off suffering" to "previous abuse victim with trust issues". Very few times have I seen Grian presented as purely good in interpretations.
MOST of the jausage stuff I've seen is straight up sausage being. Weird.
There was a hilarious confessions blog anon awhile back that tried to claim shipping scarian was somehow morally wrong because Scar(???) abused Grian(???). It happens.
To add to this: very few of Jimmy's other romantic interests were literally calling himself his "husband" while hitting and berating him. The only other "canon" couple I can think of that come close is Jizzie and the way Lizzie will sometimes hit Joel, but that is primarily outside of the life series and their crimes against eachother in the series are always capstoned by almost cartoonish antics of "still love you, tho" (e.g. Joel putting Lizzie's stuff in a chest after she gets killed by a zombie or them choosing to team up Despite it All near the end of Last Life) -- I have more thoughts regarding them but this isn't the toxic jizzie post so I'll leave it at that.
Very, very rarely will I see someone who believes flower husbands is toxic but thinks joel/grian/fwhip/sausage/etc. are Completely fine. I also think it might just be that people talk about Scott more since Flower Husbands is the Iconic Ship and that gets numbers biased into people Only thinking Scott is bad for Jimmy.
It could also be argued that some of the Double Life pairings have the same level of toxic married couple energy that Flower Husbands does, but I'd argue that the soulbounds have enough variety that interpreting them as wholly romantic is difficult to do. There was also less hype overall with some of the most "toxic" pairings in DL, such as Impdubs or Box Boys, which makes it hard to find content for them -- I did a whole little liveblog of it calling Impdubs toxic as fuck. Y'all just didn't see it. Most of DL's toxic relationship themes also come from divorce quartet but admitting that those four have romantic tension in-universe gets you sniped in this economy.
To end: I talk about Scott more than the other guys because. I like him more. I like talking about people I like.
Conclusion (AKA who fucking cares)
I feel the need to restate my intro: no one actually fucking cares.
I've been talking about inconsistency in the "rules" of interpretation throughout this and I stick by my word but I think I'd have to mention that, in order to view this series as a storyline in the first place, you'd have to make some exceptions. I don't listen to the lines about youtube or viewers or when Grian talks about planning the series. I don't think it'd be Wrong to view Scott's POV as Word of God, disregard everything that implies he's a bad husband, not consider anything past "home?" "home." canon, so on. It would not be an interpretation I, some random asshole on tumblr, enjoy personally but if you're having fun you really should not give a shit about me.
However that doesn't mean people can't be rude or just straight up wrong or hypocritical when they claim toxic flower husbands interpretations are "homophobic" despite being antagonistic towards the gay people writing them in the first place (I've seen a ridiculous amount of middle school level namecalling for like no reason??) or claim that the interpretation is for people who "haven't watched their POV" as if a certain takeaway of a minecraft series presents you with some sense of superiority for understanding the cube guy harder than those horrible, horrible HATERS who think Scott killing himself over and over is sad to watch.
Oh and don't mention Pearl's role in all of this the only time I've seen someone try to bring her up I had to read it like five times and I'm still not quite sure I understand
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cheesec4kee · 6 months
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they’re just nostalgia ⸺ CL¹⁶ ୨୧
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you’ve always been the light in charles life. but he knows that if he wants to beat his childhood rival, he’ll have to let you go— even if it’s hard for him, he knows he can’t afford any distractions.
[ warnings ! ] : gn reader, brief mentions of alcohol, angst-ish ??, use of y/n once, poorly written
[ a/n ] : first time writing angst, so please don’t judge LMAO. based on the song ‘answer’ by Tyler the creator, and I initially wrote this as a joke but I needed something to post so there’s that. . anw hope u enjoy this !! (reblogs very much appreciated btw !!)
⸺ angst under the cut
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he fumbled with the keys in his hands, hastily unlocking the door to the apartment that he shared with you. he closed the door quietly, sucking in a breath as he sees you sat on the couch— reading a book.
he’s greeted with a smile, and it nearly broke him. he loves you— he truly does, but not over his dream. to beat his childhood rival. he simply couldn’t let his efforts go of waste.
“how was practice?” you questioned, a soft smile tugging the corner of your lips, as he watched you close your book and set it down beside you on the couch.
“it was.. it was okay.” he mumbled with hands in his pockets as he avoided your gaze. he felt bad. you were everything he ever wanted— he felt stupid for even doing this. for choosing his dream over you.
“hey— uh, I think..”
“I think we should break up,” he murmured, his voice a mere octave above a whisper. shifting his weight from one leg to another uncomfortably, he cleared his throat awkwardly.
you were the light and joy in his life, and he knows it. you’re the only thing he looks forward to seeing after a shitty race, or after a bad qualifying. he’d search for you in the crowd, wanting to engulf himself purely in the warmth you provide.
his words hung in the air, the tension of emotions thick.
“why? what went wrong?” you managed to muster out, your voice coming out shakier than you thought it would be.
he stayed silent for a minute, before clearing his throat— his eyes boring into yours. “I found someone else,” he lies, his gaze softening— but you could tell that it had a distant look, like his mind was wandering elsewhere.
his words were like daggers being thrown on your heart, piercing right through it.
as tears welled up in your eyes, a wave of emotions washed over you. confusion, insecurity, and betrayal. you couldn’t help but start to question your worth to him. did you really mean something to him all this time, or was that all just a lie? you knew Charles was popular among the ladies. he was a good looking man, surrounded with women with scarcely credible beauty.
but you were hoping that the bond you two had was special, that it could resist any temptations you, or Charles had towards any other men or women. Charles was a beacon of light in your life, and you were his. you truly did believe that the connection between you two was strong enough to overcome any obstacles.
with a heavy heart, you knew you had to face the harsh reality of his confession. you knew you had to muster up the strength within you to let him go.
you couldn’t force someone to love you, after all.
“I swear, I loved you at some point but—”
“..I understand.” you cut him off and wiped your tears, swallowing back the tears threatening to spill out.
“I’ll pack my things.”
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for the past few days after the breakup, Charles struggled to get rid of the memories that you left in his apartment. he struggled to get rid of the paintings the two of you made for fun, hell— he struggled to change his lock screen which was you.
he kept making excuses, excuses to not remove that little widget in his phone that was a photo of you— the photo he took secretly.
he could only stare at his lock screen, the guilt washing over him whenever he turned on his phone to see you. he could feel the nostalgia, his stomach churning uncomfortably.
he’s standing on the podium, lifting and glancing at the trophy he earned while reminiscing the memories and moments the two of you shared together, he could imagine how proud you would’ve looked at this very moment. he felt stupid for wishing that you were here even though he was the one who broke things off.
winning doesn’t feel the same without you. he misses the way you’d squeeze him so tight when he won, the heat radiating off of you— he doesn’t feel as happy as he usually would. it felt like that winning simply wasn’t worth it without you there to congratulate him.
he has the urge to message you. to ask you how you’ve been, if you were doing much better without him, but he knew he couldn’t. not after what he did to you.
he walks off the podium, his clothes reeking of champagne as he heads to the garage— before noticing his teammate, a wide smile on his face as he comes to congratulate him.
“you did well out there,” Carlos grins, wrapping a arm around Charles shoulder, squeezing him slightly.
Charles simply smiles, muttering a quiet ‘thanks’— though Carlos knows something was up. it was obvious for everyone that Charles seemed odd, seemed distant.
“you’re not gonna tell y/n about this?” he questions, raising an eyebrow as he pulls his arm away, noticing how stiff Charles was despite managing to win first after a while.
Charles stays quiet for a minute, before responding, “I’d call them, but—” Charles pauses, sucking in a breath and glancing at his teammate, before adverting his gaze elsewhere.
“they’re just nostalgia.”
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marzipanandminutiae · 2 months
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Maybe I’m wildly misunderstanding what people who like the dark academia aesthetic are going for but I always thought the aesthetic was specifically about romanticizing those universities in England (or Europe in general) that were founded in like 1736 and the main building was originally a castle that belonged to the family that founded it or something like that. Obviously that’s a very niche university environment but I never thought that fans of the aesthetic thought that every single university looks like that. My university was built in the 70s and looks like a small town’s airport so I understand the appeal of escapism in pretending that you go to university in a marble building that has a secret library or something. I’m not criticizing your post btw I agree with you i guess I understood the purpose of the aesthetic wrong. I thought they just liked the old money aesthetic of those schools, not that they believed you’re not truly academic if your school doesn’t look like an ancient university in Prague.
So, yes, that is where the term came from
my issue with it is that they don't seem to know any other term for aesthetics they happen to have seen in a fancy university, anymore and totally unrelated things get slapped with the "dark academia" label
Oxford doesn't look like that because that's an ~academia aesthetic~. it looks like that because those were popular architectural styles of whenever X building was constructed. you are going to see those styles in other places! that doesn't make like...an 18th century commercial building "dark academia!"
like I've seen the term applied in completely random and incomprehensible ways. a marble bust is Dark Academia? HOW? is it in a university? or is it in an art museum where people are there to look at it, not to study it? is it in Mr. Darcy's house, where that classification makes even less sense? why is it somehow Academia when no Academia is in evidence?
an Art Deco theatre lobby. no joke. saw that tagged "dark academia." it could not have been more clearly a theatre lobby. I asked OP why they called it that, and they said it was just "the vibe." academia is not a vibe!!!! the word has a definition and the definition has nothing to do with aesthetics!!!!
my favorite movie, Crimson Peak, gets slapped with the DA label a lot. because...I don't know; there are ghosts and books in the same building? the heroine is a writer, sure, but absolutely none of it takes place in an institution of public scholarship or higher learning. there's a publisher's office, a doctor's office, and a private library in a house (that doesn't even get used for its intended purpose beyond a single scene). that's it. it's a pretty standard Victwardian Gothic.
the term DOES have function as a fictional genre; it describes a story pretty well. what happens? Dark Stuff. where? Academia. okay, I'm intrigued. but for aesthetics? no meaning or use at all, IMO
so I know they're not saying that ALL universities look like that. they're somehow saying that EVERYTHING that looks like that is University. which annoys me
(I also think "old money aesthetic" is more TikTok brainrot. I work a lot of museum benefits with old money people. they dress in many different ways, very few of them like a Kennedy vacationing on the Cape in 1965. just say "preppy" if that's what you mean!)
(and as with Dark Academia, it leads to a lot of things that have nothing whatsoever to do with the oldness of one's money getting labeled that way. which is annoying.)
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