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#than every 10-15 minutes
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you can never tell your parents that they are not helping by constantly texting or calling you for updates. and if you don't get back to your texts they will call. and if you do tell them they will be mad and tell you that fine they will not contact you, and that you can contact them whenever you wish to talk or ask for something. and they will do it crying, refusing to listen to how them micromanaging and keeping you constantly on the phone is not helping the task at hand if not jeopardising it and giving you more anxiety, which there is plenty of already.
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boypussydilf · 1 year
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its kind of funny that ppl are talking like Literally Everyone is Actually saying or implying they would rather have the ice king than simon that. seems like an exaggeration. the only people who say anything of the sort are astrid, who wasn’t even born yet while simon was still ice king and just thinks of him as “cool wizard” and “wrote some fun books”, and fionna & cake, who have seen approximately 10 seconds of ice king in a moment where he’s not doing particularly bad, and who have only interacted with simon at literally the lowest point of his entire life so far. what finn & tv say in ep2 reads as them hearing the conversation and assuming its more along the lines of “simon being embarrassed by work he thinks is bad” than “simon trying to avoid this thing because it is associated with a traumatic part of his life”. and prismo is just like. a little peeved that he can’t access or control his own creation anymore. Like, the Points people are generally trying to make when they bring this up are not without merit, and you could say that’s the message simon got from the last couple of days but. unless i forgot something there is absolutely 0 indication of any person who met ice king saying anything that remotely actually implies they enjoyed having ice king around more than simon. we just have a handful of people saying they happen to like One Thing ice king did. the people of ooo did not undergo a wave of selective amnesia about the ice king
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lexicog · 1 year
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ohhh LOL i get it im getting April Fooled (lol!). trans day orf visibility is tomorrow.
#trans day of visibility#trans day of eating food#i love bein a fuckin transsexual... and i love food#breakfast was almond butter + strawberry preserves + butter sammich. more filling than i thought it would be#ouuuhh i have so much celery and spinach i need to use before it goes bad but im almost out of miso paste#pro tip for you people out there make very hot miso broth. put raw vegetables + spices in it. cover it and let it sit maybe 10-15 minutes#add a carbohydrate & or protein and maybe some sort of dairy or sauces (naysayers and haters may bring forth vitriol and venom for this but#an unsweetened greek yogurt goes great in miso. tangy creamy & savory flavor. it awesome)#consider adding oil for flavor and for the absorption of fat soluble nutrients oft found in vegetables#and there you go big breakfast warm healthy and no cooking tastes good every time#well you might need to cook the carbohydrate/protein but the method goes great with big batch cooking / using leftovers#its not the definition of high cuisine but breakfast must come and go each day and some days the stove is an enemy of the people.#OH I GOTTA SAY. SCRAMBLED EGGS TASTES SO GOOD IN THERE. YOU GOTTA IF YOU WANNA. you just put it in#it circumvents the scrambles 1 fatal flaw by stopping them from going dry and becoming a torturous texture to endure. kind of genius.#art#drawing#digital art#my art#transgender art#transgender artist#transgender#trans#trans pride#lgbt#this year i would like to. somehow get out of where im currently living. so i can finally start transitioning.#another year gone by without it and it's weighing heavy.
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wygolvillage · 1 year
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i must be curbing my socmed habits effectively because i still havent gotten that "601 posts viewed" badge
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ringneckedpheasant · 2 years
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had the second worst great clips visit of my life today but thank fucking gd my hair turned out Okay despite the other horrors
#there are 2 in relatively close proximity to me & the one I like more had like 90 minute wait times#as opposed to 15 at the other place#and I knew it would be awkward & bad bc it always is at that location no matter who the stylist is#And Then It Was#stylist repeatedly misgendered me to her coworker who was giving some other guy almost an identical haircut to mine#said coworker did too despite me checking With My Name Which Is Marcus#& then she accidentally nicked my ear w the clippers#& I think she was worried abt doing it to the other ear so I had to trim around it a little when I got home#very stilted conversation which was mostly my fault and isn’t a crime#but she kept telling me I should try a specific style after she’d already started#& I was just like oh haha maybe next time. like three times over the course of 20 minutes or w/e it was#and ALSO sometimes the great clips employees do not really help you get cleaned off#I was spoiled last time the stylist gave me a dry washcloth to get all the little Bits off my face#but todays stylist just sent me out into the world after using the blow dryer for about 10 seconds#got out to my car. hair all over my face. itchy. nothing to wipe it off with.#anyway. worst time was when someone gave me an extremely incorrect haircut bc of a language barrier & I wasn’t really mad about it#but I did cry in my car after bc I felt So ugly & dysphoric#also last complaint abt this poor person#she seemed to have Very little confidence in her choice of tool and changed the guard on her clippers and what clippers she was holding#like 3x more than was necessary & I know this because I get basically the same haircut every time w very little variation#& it just made me anxious that it was going to look bad bc her behavior was#making me feel like she wasn’t very experienced w the kind of haircut I was asking for#marc.txt#last last complaint for real not abt her#her coworker who was also misgendering me cut my hair last time I was there 😔
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thedreadvampy · 1 year
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no offence to the church-going public but I fucking hate church bells. oh are you praying? are you praying? shall we have a party shall we invite the pope????
in MY religion we just do it we don't need to spend half an hour hitting a gong about it
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memecatwings · 1 year
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wish my face wasnt swollen so i could go read a book in starbucks or something
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minglana · 1 year
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"casa rural" but its literally the house that his grandma bought so the entire family could go back to the village and spend the summers there.
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strawberryjason · 27 days
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really fucking feels like i have the laziest group of friends in the fucking world sometimes
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weaselle · 7 months
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it was too much i had to make my own post
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line cook here. ACCURATE
if you don't get the hate, here's what you don't understand.
it takes up to 2 hours to close down the kitchen.
The last 60-90 minutes before closing time you do almost no cooking because the restaurant doesn't have many people in it and you've already cooked most of their diners.
So if someone walks in during, like, the last hour, the cook is in the middle of an industrial deep clean of the kitchen.
(these numbers can vary quite a bit from place to place but i have worked several restaurants with these actual times and the concept remains the same)
Say the place closes at 10. If you wait til the restaurant is already closed to start all your cleaning duties, you'll be there until at least midnight.
More than that your boss knows that on an average night you can start your clean up as soon as the last rush ends and get out of there around 10:45, even 10:15 on a slow night if you get lucky. That means there are plenty of restaurants where if you do take until midnight the manager is going to come up to you at some point that week and ask you what went wrong that night, and you'd better have an answer.
So this example restaurant closes at 10 pm. The dinner rush ends around 8:30, and shortly after that the cook is going to start getting every single dish possible over to the dishwasher because the dishwasher always gets hit hard and late, and the machine runs for 2 full minutes and only holds so many dishes, so the way that works out is if you wait an extra 30 minutes to give the dishwasher all your stuff it can mean adding like 60 minutes to the end of his shift. And you're gonna KEEP finding shit to send to the dishpit right up until you leave probably.
all these little square and rectangle containers in this cold table have to be pulled out and changed over into new containers, replaced by new full ones, or in some cases filled from larger containers in the back, which can result in even more empty containers to send to the dishwasher.
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while it's all pulled apart to do this, you have to clean up all the spilled food and sauce and juices and stuff from the joints and ledges and shelves and drip trays
Once you get your line changed over in this way, and fully stocked, anytime someone orders something that makes use of a bunch of that stuff, you have to restock and re-clean it some. It might already be covered in plastic. Some of it might already be stuck in the back to make room to take apart your cutting board counter to clean. To cook a dish isn't TOO much of a problem at this point, but you're really hoping for zero orders because you still have so much other cleaning to do.
Meanwhile the salad bar and appetizer section and server station and everybody are all doing the same thing. Even the bartenders are stocking olives and lemons and sending back whisks and stir spoons and shakers and empty 4quart storage containers that used to hold the back-up lemons and olives and things. Every section is dumping their must-be-cleaneds to the dishpit as fast as possible because early and fast is the only thing they can do to to help that dishpit not absolutely drown into overtime.
The poor dishwasher is always the last to clock out, soaking wet and exhausted.
Around this time you probably scrub the flat top, which has turned black from cooked on grease and is still about 500 degrees. Line cooks are divided in opinion on water-based or oil based cleaning methods for this, but they all involve scrubbing with (usually) a brick of pumice stone using every ounce of your strength while you try not to burn yourself
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you scrub it from fully blackened to gleaming silver and now if somebody orders something that needs the flat top to cook, you can either fuck up your cleaning job or fake it in a couple frying pans and pass that tiny fuck you down to your dishwasher (who usually understands, especially if you help them take the garbage out or clean your own floor drain later)
If there's deep fried stuff on the menu then the fryers have to be cleaned out, which includes straining the oil out into enormous and super-heavy pots full of oil so hot that if you spill on yourself then it's probably a hospital visit and if you slip and fall face first into it it'll be the last thing you ever do.
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Then you gotta scrub out the fryer. Like you gotta take the (hot) screen out and reach your arm down into the weird rounded pipes and curved areas (so hot, burn you if you brush against them hot) and scrub off whatever is down there
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Depending on your kitchen you might have to do up to four of these. Then you'll have to pour the (dangerously hot) oil back in
oh, and if you didn't dry the pipes and get ALL the water out of the trap and tank?
water reacts with hot oil in a sort of mentos and coke way that can send a tidal wave of oil past the open flame of the pilot light ...HUGE dangerous mess and/or burn down the kitchen if the oil lights up.
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Unless! If the oil has been used too hard and needs to be changed, it's time to carry those open topped super heavy pots full of will-kill-you-hot oil and dump them in the barrel outside by the dumpsters so you can put room temp fresh oil in the fryers. whew!
The clean up is not just some light wiping down that can be easily interrupted, is what i'm saying.
You might have to do some kind of walk-in duty (moving around 50lb cases of lettuce and 50lb bags of onions to get to the stacks of five gallon buckets full of salad dressings and sauces to move so you can reach the giant metal pots and bus tubs full of prep and get it all organized and make sure it's all labeled and i have to stop now i'm having flashbacks)
THE POINT IS
by 15 or however many minutes to close, the line cook is doing an intense deep clean and probably has the whole stove taken apart to detail.
For some industrial stoves this means lifting off large cast iron plates that weigh like 20 lbs each and are still quite hot. Whatever metal burners are on there, you gotta take off and clean, you can see here the lines that indicate the large thick cast iron rectangles that sit on top of the burners to allow heavy pots to rest on. Those five (each has one front burner hole and one back burner hole, see?) have to be lifted off and cleaned with soap and a wire brush usually, and then the underneath area also has to be cleaned because a lot of shit falls through the burner holes on a busy night.
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if you didn't do it when you did the flat top you have to do the grease trap (which can be like a full five minutes and is always disgusting).. You gotta clean out all the little gas jets in each burner with a wire or something so the burners all flame evenly, and sometimes you have to remove some of the natural gas piping that connects the burners to access where you have to clean.
you gotta clean out the bottom of the oven and the wire racks, and, oh gods, you gotta take down the filter vents from the hood fans above the stove.
See all the lined parts along the top of the wall?
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those are hood vents, and as they pull air up they also pull a lot of grease and they have to be taken down and cleaned, then you gotta climb up there and scrub where they go before you put them back...
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And then there's the mopping and floor drains and...
Anyway, that's what the line cook is doing when you walk in fifteen minutes before closing and order something that needs to be cooked on that stove. They are doing an entire industrial cleaning of a professional kitchen.
In some restaurants maybe one or two of these jobs will be every other night or even only twice a week, but in many, possibly most kitchens, ALL of these things happen EVERY night. You don't want to leave any food mess that might attract insects or rodents for one thing, so a really good kitchen is as close to brand new as you can get it every night.
IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING ANYWAY, HERE IS WHAT TO DO
open with an apology and ask the server to go ask what the cook would prefer you to order.
Any good server will already know what the cook is hoping for and what will make their line cook go into the walk in and scream. If it's significantly less than an hour to close and they say some variant of "oh anything is fine" they are either telling the lie their boss wants them to say, or they actually do not know what their line cook wants, and you can either use human connection and a conspiratorial just-between-us tone to get them to drop the customer-is-always-right act, or get them to actually go ask the cook.
It might be as specific as "the lasagna is easiest on the kitchen" or it might be a simple guideline like "nothing that requires the flat top" or "any of the sautés are easy" but a good line cook will probably have a system for if they have to make a couple of the most popular items after they start their close, so the answer is likely to include something most people like and you should be good to order that.
but for the love of all that's holy, please only do so at great need. Leave that last 30-60 minutes to the truly desperate and the crew's duties.
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antiwhores · 5 months
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You accidentally had sex with Bakugou.
You two had fallen asleep in his room after a hang out. You were bestfriends but you had some underlining feelings for him. So when you woke up in the middle of the night to him cuddling you, you almost choked.
You needed to pee really bad so sadly you had to pry yourself out of his arms. When you came back his eyes were cracked open just barely. He mumbled something before opening his arms for you to join him again.
It was out of character, maybe tired Bakugou was just a touchy guy. It couldn’t be more than that.
So you joined him on the bed. You buried your face into his neck. You had to savor this cause most likely this’ll be the last time this happens. Also, you were too tired to freak out. You just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.
You can barely explain what happened after that. He hiked your leg onto him, still with his half open eyes, and thrusted right against your clothed pussy.
The next thing you know, he’s dry humping you. And then he’s fingering you. And finally he’s fucking you.
It felt good, too good.
But the morning after? You felt embarrassed. No way you just fucked him without even a first date. He’s gonna think you’re easy. He might even tell everyone that you are.
Of course, that would never happen but you were panicked. You couldn’t possibly comprehend that the great Dynamight chose you. You weren’t famous. Not a vogue model, a hero, or even wealthy. You had nothing to give him.
He had to be messing with you.
So you slipped out of his hold at 5am sharp and went home.
You fell back to sleep in tears and woke up to several texts and calls. Good thing you had your ringer off.
Bakugou - 6:34am
Where’d you go?
I was gonna make you breakfast dumbass
Bakugou - 6:52
Y/n?
Missed call - 7:00am
Bakugou - 7:30
Is this about last night?
I’ll wait for that call back so we can talk about it.
Missed call - 10:03am
Bakugou - 10:05
Call me and we can talk about it. This ignoring me isn’t gonna make it go away.
Missed call - 11:12
Missed call - 11:26
Missed call - 11-31
Bakugou - 11:40
Fucking call me back, this shit isn’t funny.
You’re so lucky I don’t know where you live yet. I’d be there in 15 minutes if I knew.
You debated calling him back. But your embarrassment and anger stopped you from letting him explain himself. How could he use your feelings against you like that! He probably knew that you liked him and wanted a quick fuck.
You started to cry all over again.
A week passed by with no contact. He sent you the occasional text telling you to talk to him but after the 6th day he seemed to give up. At least you thought that until he showed up at your door.
You opened the door wide without checking who it was since you were expecting a package. Your eyes widened when you noticed the blonde leaning against the doorframe, still in his hero costume. He must’ve just gotten off work, saving civilians and climbing the charts. It was another reminder of how he could never want you.
“You gonna let me in or am I-“
You tried to slam the door in his face but he shoved it back open easily. He let himself in, scanning the place.
“Nice place, ‘don’t see why you hadn’t invited me over.”
Maybe it’s because your small, cosy apartment didn’t compare to his high rise penthouse at the top floor.
You grabbed his arm and tried to pull him out. But he wasn’t having it and didn’t let you move him an inch.
“You need to leave, Bakugou.”
“Wow. Last name basis and I was inside you a week ago.”
“Yeah well that shouldn’t have happened.”
“Okay but it did so let’s fuckin’ talk about it.”
You just wanted him to leave before you bursted out in tears. You shook your head, trying to pull him harder but to no avail. Your lip quivered in frustration as tears welled up in your eyes.
Suddenly, he threw you over his shoulder and set you on the couch.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
You broke down in tears.
You told him everything, every assumption you made and every insecurity. You told him how you liked him but you knew he didn’t like you back. He sat there patiently, not speaking a word until you were done.
He got up with a blank face. You thought he was gonna leave at first but he kneeled down to be eye to eye with you.
“Wanna go on a date?”
It surprised you. It was the last thing he expected you to say.
“I’ll take you on a date and prove to you how much I want you. And for the record, I’ve probably liked you longer than you have me. When we met in that coffee shop I immediately knew you were the one I wanted. ‘S rude of you of you to make assumptions but I’ll let it pass if you go on a date with me.”
You agreed as he wiped off your tears. Who were you to say no?
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relto · 1 year
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man im SO sick of taking almost 2 hours for a 16 km trip. i wish i could fly or something.
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fairuzfan · 6 months
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But the other images I had was like a mass refugee camp. So basically at that point in time, two months ago, about 20,000 people had sought refuge both in the hospital and outside the hospital. And these weren’t tents. They’re still not tents. They’re makeshift shelters with bed sheets or plastic bag sheets. The ones outside sleep on the floor. They’re lucky [if] they get a carpet or a mat. There was one bathroom at the time for about 200 people that they have to share. And inside, the hallways of the hospital were also made into shelters. There was hardly any room to walk, and there’s children running around everywhere. It’s important to remember all these people were not homeless. They all had homes that were destroyed. They’re all displaced people that took shelter in the hospital.
So that’s the kind of mass chaos that I encountered initially, and then I was told that every time there’s a bomb, give it about 15 minutes and the mass casualties come. That was the other thing that at the time shocked me: What we’d been seeing livestreamed on Instagram, on social media or whatever, I actually saw myself and it was worse than I can imagine. I saw scenes that were horrific that I’d never witnessed before and I never want to see again. You have a mother walking in holding her 8, 9-year-old, skinny — because they’re all starving — boy who’s dead, he’s cold and dead and [the mother is] screaming, asking for someone to check his pulse and everybody’s busy in the mass chaos. So that was kind of my initial welcoming scene when I entered Khan Younis the first time.
{...}
What I saw — I’m an eye surgeon, an eye plastic surgeon, and so I saw the classic, what I penned “the Gaza shrapnel face,” because in an explosive scenario, you don’t know what’s coming. When there’s an explosion, you don’t go like this [cover your face], you kind of actually, in fact, open your eyes. And so shrapnel’s everywhere. It’s a well-known fact that the Israeli forces are experimenting [with] weapons in Gaza to boost their weapon manufacturing industry. Because if a weapon is battle-tested, it’s more valuable, isn’t it? It’s got a higher value. So basically they’re using these weapons, these missiles that purposely, intently create these large shrapnel fragments that go everywhere. And they cause amputations that are unusual.
Most amputations occur at the weak points, the elbow or the knee, and so they’re better tolerated. But these [shrapnel fragments] are causing mid-thigh, mid-arm amputations that are more difficult, more challenging, and also the rehabilitation afterward is also more challenging. Also these shrapnels [are] unlike a bullet wound. A bullet wound goes in and out; there’s an entry and exit point. Shrapnel stays there. So you gotta take it out. So the injuries I saw were — I mean, I saw people with their eyes blown apart. And when I was there, and this is my experience, I treated all children when I was there the first time. It was kids that [were aged] 2, 6, 9, 10, 13, 15, and 16, and 17 were the ones that I treated. And their eyes unfortunately had to be removed. They had shrapnel in their eye sockets that I had to remove and, of course, remove the eye. There’s many patients, many children who had shrapnel in both their eyes. And you can only do so much because right now, because of the aid blockade and because of the destruction of most of Gaza, there’s no equipment available to take shrapnel that’s in the eye out. And so we just leave them alone and they eventually go blind.
{...}
I was on the ground, I toured the refugee camps, I went around Rafah, I saw, and if there’s an Israeli invasion, I can’t emphasize enough how catastrophic it’s going to be. It’ll be mass killing, mass destruction, because all these figures come in, 50 dead, 100 wounded. But what people don’t realize is, being wounded is a death sentence. Being wounded in this environment with no health care system, completely collapsed, is a death sentence. And the wounded often will lose everybody, like all family members, so they have no supports, especially children, have nobody left to take care of them, not even aunts and uncles. It will be catastrophic. I don’t know what to say to the world to stop an impending invasion. You’ve got to rein this prime minister of Israel in. You got to do something to stop this stupid invasion that he still wants to do, because it’ll be catastrophic.
{...}
I had one young man, about 25 years old, he lost one eye that I took out myself. He spent about five, six, or seven years, basically spent thousands and thousands of dollars in IVF treatment because he got married young and they wanted to have a child and they couldn’t have one. So he spent years on IVF treatment and finally had a baby that was 3 months old. And there was a missile attack by Israel at his home. He lost his entire family, including his baby and his wife and his parents and family. He’s by himself, single guy. I took his one eye out, and he has nobody in this world. He just kind of walks around the tent structures, just kind of walking around with no home and trying to sleep wherever he can.
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wwwyzzerdd420 · 1 year
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Ngl there should be a mandatory visible tag/disclaimer on parody posts/accounts that seem legit
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wearenotjustnumbers2 · 11 months
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Remember today. Remember how the world stood by and watched 2.2 million people which more than half of them are children get annihilated. Remember how Israel cut off all ways of communication and internet inside and outside of gaza, and started bombarding the strip heavily like never before with American weapons. How israel made itself look like the victim while it kills a Palestinian child every 10-15 minutes. Remember how if you're in gaza and your house got bombed, you will die either way because there is no way you can call an ambulance. You can't check on your loved ones even if they were meters away. Remember how everybody remained silent while Israelis chant and celebrate Palestinians death, and we demand the chance to live.
Remember how they bombed hospitals, mosques, churches, schools, refugee camps and houses. Remember the families who survived the first bombing in their house, only to get killed in a hospital or a camp. Remember how their defense minister called us Human Animals, our children children of the dark. Remember how the USA and Israel are testing weapons on the people of gaza. Things we've never seen before.
Remember the babies who survived the bombing while their entire family got killed. Who will tell these children their names? They experienced trauma that they don't even have the language to describe it.
Remember that we watched a genocide live, before they start changing the narrative. Remember that when this is marked in history, you were on what side. Remember the "never again" in the holocaust and Rwanda and and, but the "again and again" in gaza until everybody is dead in the most gruesome way.
Remember the killed Palestinians. They are not numbers.
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shiplessoceans · 11 days
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Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:
1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'
2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.
"Do her....or you're gay."
*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*
3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."
4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"
5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"
6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.
7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"
House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."
8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.
9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:
"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."
The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.
10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:
Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)
Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."
House: "He is so self-loathing."
11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:
"I love you."
12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."
13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.
14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"
House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"
15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).
Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"
House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*
Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."
16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:
House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."
17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."
*tense pause*
House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."
*flees restaurant*
18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."
19. Wilson: "I have a headache."
House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."
20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)
House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."
21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.
22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."
22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."
23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".
24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:
House: "You wanna close that door?"
CIA agent: "Why?"
House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."
25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"
House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"
26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.
27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.
28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.
29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.
30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.
The peice of furniture Wilson buys?
A piano organ for House.
31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."
32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."
House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."
33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"
House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."
34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.
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