#thank you for asking this anon it legitimately made me stop and think

[eirianerisdar]

You have managed to come up with a fic where you get to play around with as many F1 duos as your heart desires. Which is your favorite? Is it also your favorite to write about?

Anon you've got me there because how am I supposed to choose? As Icarus now stands it has covered platonic Maxiel, Charlos, Brocedes, Slagclaren, Princess Cake, Dando, Carlando, Galex, Yukiel, Sebdan, Martian, Sewis, Valewis, Webbonso, and Buttonso, and that's not to mention dozens of other references to other driver duos.

I think my favourite to write is somewhere in between the top five there but in the end what makes F1 so fun to write about is this:

That is your teammate. That is supposed to be the first guy you beat; your closest enemy. But your closest enemy eats with you; you laugh with them and spend more time with them than your own family. You are one of twenty drivers who can drive the fastest cars in the world. Nobody understands what it is like to drive a current season Formula One car except those nineteen others. But the only one who understands what it is like to drive your car is your teammate. The only one who can understand you is your teammate. But they are supposed to be your enemy. In Icarus Maxiel says I would rather not be your teammate than to hate you. Charlos says I would rather be your teammate even when everyone else says I should hate you. Princess Cake says we might not have been teammates but we understand what it is to have been hurt and loved by Lewis Hamilton. Slagclaren says we were teammates, but I (Jenson) knew I could never be what he was to you. Brocedes is I missed you more than I hated you, and I realised this too late.

So how, Anon, am I supposed to choose?

[nekropsii]

Hello, pardon and I don’t want to be a bother but I would like to ask for your take on something. And if you’re not down to answer this question, that’s completely fine, you seem to make large opinion posts on a noteworthy basis so I understand if you don’t have the energy or motivation to give an opinion right now.

But I wanted to ask for your take on the ethics of enjoying Homestuck in the modern day. Many people such as myself and seemingly you as well enjoy Homestuck but are painfully aware of all the gross stuff in it. And as I see the comic pop up in more and more dni lists, with people claiming that enjoyers of Homestuck are supporting these things inherently, no matter the fact that most of us stand against Hussie and attempt to reclaim Homestuck as something to express joy and our identities in, it makes me wonder more and more the ethics of enjoying Homestuck. Since you seem to have thoughts on the matter, I was wondering if you’d like to share your take.

I once again want to stress though, absolutely no pressure to answer. I am not entitled to your time or hearing your opinion. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I was just asking in case you wanted to speak about it.

Hi, Anon! This is a very interesting question, and you were right to assume I have thoughts on it. They might not be as long and complicated as some of my other essays, but they still exist, and I would quite like to share them. Thank you for the opportunity.

My opinion on The Ethics of Enjoying Homestuck is that I believe it's perfectly fine to do so. I also think it's perfectly fine to dislike, or hate, or not want to associate with it or any fans of it. This is a personal boundary set by and for the individual, and it's not my business to question, nor my place to cross it. However, I don't really agree with the way some people go about communicating or enforcing this boundary. I've seen some people put Homestuck and Harry Potter on the same level before. I've seen some say that enjoyment of either piece of fiction is, at least in part, comparable. I heavily disagree with this- and the fact that this is a point that comes up shows to me that there's quite a few people who don't actually fully understand why so many people are saying to stop supporting Harry Potter.

The conflation of the two things reads to me as if some believe that Harry Potter has been "cancelled for having a problematic creator"- and that's not wholly true. Yes, J.K. Rowling is, by definition, problematic, and she is the creator of the Harry Potter franchise, but people have drawn such a hard line against supporting the series not just because J.K. Rowling is Transphobic, but because she has honest to god legislative power. She is, as it stands, currently the backbone of the TERF movement, and is spending a lot of time and money to ensure that Transphobes dominate the government. Monetary support of Harry Potter pools into her funds, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. Communal/Fandom support of Harry Potter increases her visibility as a public figure, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. J.K. Rowling has made very clear statements saying that she takes any support of the Harry Potter franchise- any at all, including Queer/LGBT+ Friendly fan content- as support of her beliefs. Support of Harry Potter is a method of legitimizing and validating Transphobia, and is being used as a way to further Trans Genocide.

If J.K. Rowling was just an average Transphobe, the outcry would not be nearly as severe, and the line wouldn't be nearly as clear cut. It would just be disappointing, bring to mind the phrase "same shit as always", and many would make the personal choice to distance themselves from it. But that's not the reality we live in. We live in the reality where J.K. Rowling has sway on the government, and is getting real people hurt and killed.

Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck, however, is just some random asshole with no political power outside of his own vote. Yes, Homestuck is filled with plenty of unsavory elements- random out-of-place interjections of Hussie's own past bigotry included- but at the end of the day, Homestuck has no influence over government action. Hussie has no tangible political influence, and does not want to have tangible political influence. We don't even have evidence that Hussie still holds the same beliefs as he did during and prior to the creation of Homestuck. This is just some random indie comic, made by some random guy in 2009. J.K. Rowling is dangerously close to billionaire status, and using that power for evil.

It's fine to like something that's not very morally clean- or something made by a not very morally clean artist, during a not very morally clean point in time in a not very morally clean place in this world. It's okay. The fixation some have on this is OCD-inducing. The best that can be asked is that one recognizes the bigotry, and doesn't perpetuate them. That's all. You can read, watch, play, and enjoy just about anything, as long as you don't make the more unsavory elements out to be a good thing. Don't start acting like Racism is awesome, or Antisemitism is cool, or Transphobia is based, et cetera, and you'll be totally fine.

The ability to find value in something impure or unsavory is a valuable one. Some may not want to associate with that, or find the particular flaw in the work in question to be too uncomfortable to stomach, and that's fine, too. Not everyone can just sit through Era-Appropriate Casual Homophobia or Racism and come out feeling fine enough to keep going. I'd argue- hope, even- that most feel at least a bit bothered by such things. It's all about personal tolerance levels. No one's committing a moral crime by either enjoying it or not wanting to even look at it.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[lu-twilight-is-best-boy]

Howdy! Can I perhaps ask for Time x gender neutral reader nsfw? No real prompt, just whatever you feel like!

Sincerely,

-🎼

Hi anon 😄 thanks for the ask (this is also my first ask, yay!) I tried my best to keep this as gender-neutral as possible(i haven't wrote anything in forever so I'm a bit rusty) , I hope you like it and enjoy it

Warnings: NSFW 🔞, kissing, aphrodisiac/sex pollen/sex potion, smut with a little teeny tiny plot, bitting, hickeys, marking, mentions of cum, Gender-neutral reader, bottom reader

Summary: Someone spilled some kind of aphrodisiac potion into Time's drink. It's up to you to deal with the effects it has on Time.

Story is below the cut

Oh you where going to kill the boys when this was over because you knew that they had something to do with this, okay maybe not Twilight he looked legitimately worried about Time but you could hear the other's snickering, and so you were convinced that they had something to do with it or they at least knew what happened and wouldn't tell you

Honestly sometimes you wonder why you didn't stay home instead of traveling with the chain, now was one of those times

You sighed again as you walked back to the Inn, Time was leaning on you for support with his nose buried in your hair as part of the chain followed behind the both of you laughing.

"You know this is why I should have stayed home, all y'all are just to damn childish," you said as you pushed Time's head away from your hair and tried to get him to walk up right.

"At least it will wear off eventually, right?" Sky said as he walked up right beside you and Time

"It should all potions wear off eventually" Legend replys to Sky while making bets with Warriors and Wild on how long it would take for the aphrodisiac to wear off

You rolled your eyes and then sighed in relief when you looked up and saw that you and the others have almost made it back to the Inn which was not easy with Time practically draped over you, and he was getting even hotter by the second, or at least that's what it seemed like with the way he kept whispering in your ear.

"Well since y'all had a little bit too much fun and we are all very tired I think it's time for bed," you said as you opened the door to the Inn and walked inside.

"Finally, we will see you in the morning," Sky said as he started to walk off with the others following behind him.

"Okay we will see you all in the morning!" you yelled after them as you turned around and headed upstairs with Time.

You knew that Time wasn't feeling like himself you knew this because you had told yourself this over and over on the walk back, but he was so very close to you as he almost pushed you and himself into the room once you opened the door, you could almost feel his dick through his trousers.

You walked in and Time watched as you stopped to place his gear as well as your own down after carring it for so long, as he watched you move around the room his eyes started to darken, you turned around to ask if he was doing okay but before you could he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall as his mouth found your neck.

"A-Ahh, T- Time," you said as you tried to pry his hands off of you, but he wouldn't budge, "w- what are you doing?" you asked as you tried again to push him away from yourself just enough to make a little bit of space between you and him.

"Sorry love, I just" he said as he started to unbutton your shirt while still keeping his mouth on your neck, "I want you ____."

"No, no, no, wait, Time, you don't mean that it's just the potion making you think that you want to do this" you say as you tried to push him away again but it once again did nothing as he turned his head just enough to look at you out of the corner of his good eye.

"I know what I'm saying ____ , no potion could ever make me confused about how i feel about you or what i feel towards you," he said as his mouth went down to your collar bone and started to slowly work its way down to your chest, "i want you love, i want you more then anything."You nod and look at the wall before turning your head to met his eye "okay, I'll do this with you but on the bed Time not the wall, and you better not regret this later."

"I won't." he said with a wicked grin before he kisses you on the lips and moves from the wall pulling you along with him towards the bed in the center of the room.

You let out a small gasp as Time pushes you down onto the bed and nips at your bottom lip before leaving a trail of kisses and bites on your neck going down your body to your chest then stopping to kiss your stomach he looks up at you before he goes back to kissing down your body, You let out another gasp when Time nips at a section of skin right where it disappears below your trousers as he hooks his fingers into the waistband and tugs them down so he can remove them from you.

You let out a moan as you feel Time's warm mouth on your bare skin as he slides your trousers and underwear down all the way and off your legs. You moan in pleasure as your skin is exposed to Time's warm breath, his tongue lapping at your most sensitive areas. You arch your back as Time's tongue makes its way down your thighs, pausing at your most sensitive spot before making its way back up. You let out a gasp as Time slides two fingers into your most sensitive spot while his tongue continues to play with you. You grab the sheets and let out a small cry as you feel Time's mouth on you, his mouth moving up from your most sensitive spot to your chest, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and sucking it while continuing to finger you. You feel Time push your hips back down onto the bed as his fingers leave you and he gets off the bed to take his own clothes off.

You let out a sigh as you feel Time now completely naked rejoin you on the bed, he slides his hands up your legs and over your hips and lastly to your hands so he can pull them up and above your head, as you clasp them together where he placed them without him having to tell you to.

He then slides his hands back down your body resting them on your thighs. Time looks down at you lying on the bed completely bear and for his eye and his eye alone as he smirks at you and leans down to whisper in your ear "ready love?" You nod at him as he starts to slowly slide into you.

You let out a small gasp at the feeling of him filling you up, you push back as he begins to move, loving the feeling of his hard length moving inside of you, he pulls your hips up meeting his every move and he continues to thrust into you slowly picking up his pace as he does so. You grab at the headboard as Time moves faster and faster inside of you, he kisses and bites at your neck and shoulder as he thrusts into you and you feel your climax building up inside of you, you let out a small cry as you come, once Time reaches his own high he climaxes inside of you.

You let out a small sigh as you feel him slide out of you and lie down next to you, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms around your waist as he closes his eye and mumbles "i love you" while placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You feel your own eyes close as you drift off to sleep, content in the arms of the one you love.

THE END

[warsofasoiaf]

“Doran Martell isn't motivated by justice, although he believes himself to be.”

How so?

Anonymous asked: If Doran Martell isn't motivated by justice, what is he motivated by? Anonymous asked: I just saw your answer to another ask about how Doran Martell isn’t motivated by justice but thinks he is and I’m fascinated. Cause I can definitely see that, it makes sense. Would you mind talking about it in more detail?

I've already talked about this before. The idea that Doran finds the Iron Throne worthy of overthrow because thr Baratheon regime built it on the bones of the murdered innocent rings hollow to my ears, because Doran was perfectly fine with Eddard and Robert being murdered for no reason. He can't claim ignorance like he might for Rickard being murdered without a right to trial (although Lewyn Martell was there, so I doubt Doran didn't know). Aerys made the death sentence public and demanded Jon Arryn murder them. For Doran, this is fine; Aerys can kill Starks for no reason and his regime remains legitimate. Then, when Doran is personally wronged (and he was wronged, let it be plain) by Tywin, only then does it renders the entire enterprise illegitimate? What Doran experiences is absolutely horrible - it's brutal, it's heartbreaking. I have sympathy for Doran's pain for the losses he suffered (I've said this before, Doran would have had my support if he went for independence). But he's saying that it only is a problem when it happens to him - it was fine when Eddard had half his family murdered and was himself marked for death, that warranted no overthrow and indeed, doesn't render that line at all illegitimate. Yeah, I don't think that's being motivated by justice.

Compare this to what Robb Stark did. When his family was (repeatedly) wronged by the Iron Throne, he rebelled. When the Riverlanders were being brutalized by Lannisters, he protected them, earning their loyalty. So Robb's responding to the situation when the perpetrators are actively committing their crimes, and he's doing so defensively. This is the same issue when Robert's Rebellion happened - the Targaryens were the aggressors: they murdered Rickard and Brandon, they marked Eddard and Robert to die for no other reason then being tangentially related to people that Aerys already spuriously murdered (who comes next? Catelyn - Brandon's fiancee? Benjen - Eddard's brother? Do you really think Aerys will stop?) Doran's reserving the right to start a war and return a deposed monarchy...and this runs into snags when all of the perpetrators are dead. Amory Lorch and the Mountain are dead, Tywin is dead, Robert Baratheon and Jon Arryn are dead. Everyone who was conceivably involved, even through omission, is dead. So now the crimes of Tywin are being laid at Tommen's feet. To Doran's credit, he recognizes this as "(t)he boy never did us any harm."

Now, some might say "sure, the criminals are dead, but they were never held to account for their crimes, and the system they established not made to answer for it." But again, this runs into the problem that Aerys was ousted for these very same crimes, so again, definitely rings hollow to me.

Thanks to @turtle-paced for her excellent breakdown of the entire thing, and thanks to all of you anons for the question.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[rouecentric]

Heyy :)) How are you doing? I hope you are in a good condition. I really loves your manhwa fic, Can I request a yandere platonic Keira Parvis (or the whole Parvis family actually) with the long lost twin sister reader (reader and Keira is a twin) Like,maybe Keira had meet reader somewhere in the town like,she got a deja vu(?) But whenever she tries to get closer to reader, reader pushes her away and that's where Keira starts to become yandere over reader? And since Keira change a bit after a bit, Ludwig notices and he discovers about reader and decided to help Keira like kidnapping bring reader to the Parvis Duchy/Estate.

Hope you have a good day/night!!

Please take care and don't forget to take some rest and go outside to watch the natures and have some good meal and drink okay :))

Love you sm. Mwah

thank you for worrying about me, anon, i am in good condition as of now and are faring well, lyt 💕

fem!reader

-Although it was quick and random, you have never felt so uncomfortable and drained

-You were the adopted daughter of a baron, brought into the barony when you were a baby, being found on their doorstep, but that was a lie

-Your actual identity that you never knew of was that you were a legitimate daughter of duke Parvis, and twin sister of Kiera Parvis. you were actually forcefully taken from the Parvis dukedom, being planned to be used as a weapon against the Parvis family so you could take over the Parvis dukedom while the baron and baroness controlled you like a puppet

-When you grew up, you looked uncannily similiar to Kiera, but everyone brushed it off as probably being a distant cousin of hers, even if you acted similiarly to her

-Kiera's life was thrown into disarray when she first encountered you, as you accidentally bumped into her during a festival, pretending to be a commoner so you could enjoy it to the best of your abilites, profusely apologising to her

-of course, she accepted your apology, trying to befriend you, but you kindly refused, saying that a lowly baron's daughter shouldn't be friends with the Parvis dukedom's daughter

-From then on, Kiera always went to the balls you plan on going to, being hellbent on being at least acquaintances, but you were rather... stubborn and closed off..

-If anyone asked about you to Kiera, she'd say you were like a rose with thorns, although a beauty to behold and admire, if anyone came close to you, your thorns will prick them

-Some call it deja vu, but Kiera calls it fate. I mean, it has to be! You look uncanney similiar to Kiera and know everything Kiera is practically thinking about with one look! Even your name induces a memory she didn't want to remember, her bedridden mother, whispering out a name that Kiera memorised, and you, have the same name

-So she starts to find more about you at home, such as your past, your family, likes and dislikes, what food you eat, your allergies, your phobias, your darkest secre... oh, looks like she has already gotten attached to someone..

-Of course Kiera is sad because of you closing yourself off away from her, and her father notices it

-Ever since the start Ludwig was curious about what Kiera was doing after she came back home with such a happy expression and a little jump every step she took, so after he saw her be this sad, he asked her what was wrong, so she told him everything, to your first meeting, to her attempts, even going as far as explaining how you look and your personality, shocking the older man

-That's when he told Kiera something he wanted to tell her, about her missing older twin sister who disappeared when they were born

-That's when Kiera knew, you were her sister, and asked one thing from her father;

"Can you bring back (name) home?"

-And he did! He alongside his guards put the baron and baroness in prison after kidnapping you in your sleep, taking you to your own personal room, made just for you, in the Parvis dukedom

-When you woke up, your leg was chained to one of the legs to a bed, seemingly stopping right before the door, being unable to open it, of course, before you could go back, Kiera opened the door, smiling with glee when she saw you, saying three words that sealed the deal;

"Good morning, sister!"

[pocketgalaxies]

okay i have a confession...i never liked ashton...i tried, especially when we found out he has chronic pain and a legitimate reason for being an asshole...but i just can't get on board with him and often roll my eyes at his scenes. and that last convo with laudna made me so frustrated bc it seemed like he was totally emotionally dismissive and wanted to play the "i had it worse" olympics. i've never disliked a cr character before and i don't know what to do about it. any advice? or anything that you particularly like about ashton that could help me get on board a little?

hi anon thanks for asking! unfortunately i can't help you a huge amount because i also! have never liked ashton and have historically had trouble finding reasons to like them. but i will try my best to help

well the first thing i'd say is i don't think you need to find reasons to get on board with ashton. interrogating your feelings about a character is always good to take in the full depth of their behavior, but if you go through that whole process and you STILL don't like them then maybe they just aren't your cup of tea. which is totally valid and acceptable!!! and i know it's not easy to dislike something about a show you love so much, but i'd say just try and sit with that and tell yourself that you're allowed. there are so so many fish in the cr sea and you're far from expected to love each one

that being said if you still want to hear my thoughts here they are! (it got very very long)

i've seen a few people mentioning that ashton might've intentionally started that conversation with laudna because he knew she specifically would be in the position to shoot them down. a sort of self-inflicted scolding, i think. watching the ep, i also got the sense that he was intentionally trying to upset her by bluntly phrasing things to dig into her trauma and i think it makes sense based on what we know about them. maybe he wanted someone to yell at him and tell him he's being weak (in a lot of ways similar to early-c2 caleb's pervasive self-hatred driving him to intentionally seek out places/people with which he is made to feel like shit). or maybe he needed someone else to look him in the eye and tell him "stop hiding and let the people around you help you." maybe they needed a reason to say out loud that they're only with the hells bc they're using them, because that's the only way they can hear themself and how ridiculous and false that sounds. who knows! regardless, i think it's uninformed to say that tal wasn't doing this on purpose. it means something, and it opened up something that will most certainly have some growth and ultimately resolution later

this is kinda separate but we could also get into the details of his word choice, like what did he mean by "i know a loneliness that you don't" was he just talking about a certain kind of loneliness that he perceives to be distinct from the loneliness that many other of the party members have experienced? (worth pointing out that bells hells is a party full of people defined by their loneliness in many ways. food for unrelated thought) is it true that ashton's loneliness is unique to them and no one else in the party? is it even meaningful to put people's loneliness into different boxes? how has loneliness affected the way they distance themself from some people vs. the way they latch protectively onto other people? maybe those questions are of interest to you!

i think ashton is a very meaty character with a lot of complicated stuff going on and tal loves to create characters like this, characters defined by arrogance or a self-aggrandizing belief in their own suffering, or characters who are intentionally and unrelentingly abrasive. they become likable and compelling because of the underlying context and past and often conflicting and changing behavior over time.

it's just that those types of characters will always be a little polarizing, and i personally have a LOT of trouble enjoying tal's characters, because that's just my personal preference. they are complicated and juicy but they historically just do not do it for me. i was very incensed by that conversation with laudna because i am a laudna stan above all else and i thought ashton was being Awful to her, even if i can understand that they knew they were being awful and had reasons to be that way. the important thing is that i recognize it's a double-standard in my own mind and i know that about myself, and i'm not being a willingly narrow-minded jerk to the fans who like ashton and were thrilled by the convo. but i don't have to feel forced to like them and read/reblog meta about how sad they actually are etc etc. you know what i mean?

anyway at the risk of going on a tangent where i complain about that convo for no real reason related to your question, i will stop talking now. hope this helps in some way or another! your feelings are valid and you definitely are not alone in struggling with this character, if the posts and tags i've seen the past few days are any indication. just be nice to people and it will be all good. cr characters are fictional but cr fans are not <3

[writings-of-a-british-fangirl]

Bruises [Billy Hargrove x Reader] [Butterflies Part 3]

Title: Bruises Summary: You thought Billy Hargrove was just a flirt, but he proved that he was actually interested in you- until he went radio silent. Turns out the reason for his absence is a lot more legitimate than you thought. Warnings: Mentions of abuse, language, Neil being an arse Request: N/A

A/N: Part 3/3 to my Butterflies series A/N 2: Sorry this took me so long but figured this was owed a conclusion + two lovely anons requested so here it is

PART 1: Butterflies PART 2: Beliefs PART 3: Bruises

Billy Hargrove~Bruises

You hadn't heard from Billy in almost a week, and you were starting to get nervous. After your first date, you soon sealed the deal with a second, swiftly followed by three, four- after five you stopped counting. Before the school year started, you were basically going steady- basically official. Billy had been all over you ever since. Since you were only working part time and Billy had just started school, you saw each other nearly every day. And, on the days you didn't, you found the time to call. So, to say that not speaking to him for this long was unusual was an understatement. For the first few days, you tried not to worry- maybe he was just busy. He had started school after all... It could be that- maybe you were being paranoid.          You still called- for the first few days at least... You didn't like to call the house too much because Billy had told you not to piss of Neil. Part of you knew not to risk Neil picking up the phone, and part of you was too worried about Billy to care about Neil. For the first time in a long while, you wished you were still at Hawkins High so you could check on him. Then again, you didn't want to turn up unannounced and freak him about. You were still newly together and didn't want to push him.

       As luck would have it, Dustin asked for a ride to school and you agreed: for Dustin, of course, but also hoping for a glimpse of Billy.

      "Hey Dusty," you greeted, pulling up next to Dustin's house, engine revving, "Ready for another day at school?"

      "Always," he replied sarcastically.

     "Hey, watch your tone," you teased.

     "I get it from you," Dustin replied, "Maybe you should set a better example."

     "Maybe you should pick better role models."

     The drive was quiet for the most part- you and Dustin made occasional conversation, but apart from that you were just listening to the cassette in your car. As you neared the school, you took a pause. Dustin probably wouldn't like this question- but you had to ask anyway.

       "Hey, Dusty... Have you- I don't suppose you have seen Billy around school? Have you?" you asked quietly, "I know- I know you don't like him, but I haven't heard from him in a few days and I'm getting worried..."

      Dustin, surprisingly answered pretty quickly, "He hasn't been in school for a few days- but he came back yesterday with a back eye!"

      "A what?!"

      "Yeah he had wicked bruises, but he was covering them pretty well-"

      "-Fuck-"

      "-Language!"

      "Dustin, not really the point. Do you know how he got them?" you ask trying not to sound more nervous than you are.

      "There's loads of rumours- maybe Steve punched him, but Steve wouldn't do that unprovoked, and- Steve's got no bruises on him, and Billy would definitely put up a fight-"

       "-So you don't know?"

      "No."

      "Okay, thanks for telling me. Right off to school-"

     "-You okay?"

      "I'll be fine, Dusty. Promise. Now, go. Love you."

      "Alright, I'm going, I'm going! And, I know! Bye!"

       You dropped Dustin off, then looped the car park looking for Billy. His car wasn't there, at least not yet. You sighed, thinking it was hopeless before circling one last time. Just as you were about to give up, you heard the familiar revving of an engine. Your head wiped around: Billy.

       "Billy! Billy! Hey!"

        Billy steps out of the car, but begins to head into the school- completely ignoring you.

        "Hey! Don't ignore me-"

        "-What the hell are you doing here?!" Billy yells, his anger catching you off guard, "What are you stalking me now?"

        "N-no, I was giving Dusty a lift, and I-"

        "-You what? Decided to bother me?" he huffs, still not fully facing you, "I don't want to talk to you-"

        "-I know now's not a good time, but we can talk after school?" you all but beg, "Billy, I'm worried about you."

         You try to step closer to him. He's not showing his full face- you can't see the bruises, but you know they're there. Your heart sinks as he takes a step forward and clenches his fist. In that moment, you're starting to doubt everything that has happened between you and Billy. Who was this person? He was not the Billy you knew.

       "Billy, please-"

       "'Billy please'," he mocks you, "I don't want to talk to you ever again. How about you leave me alone and stop bothering me with your fake pity? Huh? How about that?"

        Your voice catches.

        "I- I..."

        "Yeah, that's what I thought," Billy laughs humourlessly finally turning around.

        You stare at his bruises, and you want to run and comfort him, but it's as if your feet and frozen to the ground. He rolls his eyes, but for a moment you catch his gaze and you almost think he's going to break down and take it all back. But, he doesn't. And, your left standing there.

~~~

Billy has a typical day at school- just as shitty as any other. He impatient revs his engine as he waits at a red light and tries not to think about you. If he were being honest with himself (which he rarely was), he hated the way he acted towards you. He wished he could take it all back- but he couldn't. You didn't deserve that- and you sure as hell deserved better than him. Maybe it was for the best, Billy mused, maybe it was good you'd finally seen his true colours. He was a bad person, and you shouldn't be tainted by his brokenness.

      Billy collapsed on his bed as soon as he got home. He'd shut his door and began blasting music. Neil wasn't home from work yet so for a few hours he could drown out his thoughts with some obnoxiously loud rock music.

      He closes his eyes and-

      -"What the hell did you say to them?!" Max bursts into his room yelling.

      Max never came into his room- let alone with such an attitude. Billy was about to respond with immediate anger (as he often did) when she continued yelling and he actually listened.

      "You made them cry! I've never seen them so upset! Are you listening to me?!" Max shouted, while Billy tries to ignore them, "You need to make it right!"

      "I don't need to do anything, Maxine," Billy mutters.

     Max pauses and sighs, "I knew you were a real jerk, Billy, but really? Y/N? I thought you liked them."

     Billy rolls over.

     "But, maybe I'm the stupid one for believing that you actually had human emotions," Max huffs, "You... You were really happy- so were they. I don't understand what changed-"

      "-Of course you don't understand! You're a little kid-"

      "-I understand enough! I understand that you actually had a shot to be with someone that actually cared about you beyond your mullet and car, and that you blew it!"

      "I know!"

       "...What?"

       "I know, okay?! I know I'm an asshole, I know I'm a piece of shit, I know I made Y/N upset! That's who I am, Max; that's who I've always been- that's who I'll always be," Billy confessed, "It was only a matter of time anyway... Before I ruined it. Maybe it's better it happened this soon-"

       "-Of course it's not better."

      Billy sat up, glaring at his sister as she sat on the bed.

       "It's not too late."

       "What?"

       "To fix it," she explains, "Look, you are an asshole, and a shitty big brother-"

       "-Thanks."

      "Don't interrupt. I'm not done. You maybe not be the perfect person, but you... You made them happy, and you were happy. You deserve to be happy."

       "Fuck. I really fucked up didn't I?"

       "Yeah..."

       "Did you mean it? When you said it's not too late?" Billy looks to his sister, completely lost.

       "Y/N is dropping Dustin and the others at the arcade later at 5pm- you'll have a chance to speak to them then," Max explains standing up and going to leave the room.

        "Thanks."

        "Oh, and Billy?"

        He nods.

        "Don't blow it."

~~~

Billy had never been this nervous in his entire life. He thought he was going to explode from the amount of nervous energy inside him. The engine cut out as he parked his car in the arcade parking lot, and he stepped out of the car. He made a bee line for your Mustang, and waited. No more than two minutes had passed before you emerged from the arcade doors. Your face fell when you saw him.

      "What do you want, Billy?" you said trying to sound as emotionless as possible- when actually you wanted to cry.

      "Please, I just want to talk-"

      "-You told me you didn't want to talk again. Ever," you snapped, "So which is it?"

      "Look, baby-"

      "-Don't 'baby' me," you snapped, "You don't get to do that anymore... Let's just go back to being strangers, okay Billy?"

        "No, not okay."

        "You're a real head fuck you know that? Earlier I thought you were going to bite my head off and now you have all the time in the world? What changed?"

        "I know and I'm sorry," Billy confessed, "It was Max- she knocked some sense into me. Please, just let me explain."

        "Two minutes. Go."

        "Before I say anything: I know I'm an asshole, and I definitely don't deserve you. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I... I wanted to see you but I... Neil he beat me up for using the phone so much, and then I was angry- and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry... I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hate that I made you cry. Neil is a real prick- he's who I should've taken my anger out on... Not you. Never you.

        I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want, but... I really like you. You make me happy- the happiest I've been in a long while. And, I know I can make you happy too- if that's what you want."

        "Billy..." you murmur, all but speechless, "He hit you? He did this?"

         You're standing so close. Billy holds his breath when you reach up to touch him. He does every thing he can not to flinch. A breath escapes his lungs when you touch him delicately, as though he might break.

         "Yeah... It's, uh, not as painful as it looks."

         "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble. For calling too much."

         "Don't. Don't apologise- I'm the one apologising."

         "I know," you manage a smile, "I... I don't know if I can forget what you said, but I forgive you."

         He nods, expecting you to leave.

         "You want to get some food while we wait for the kids?" you ask opening your car door, gesturing to the other side of your vehicle.

        "You sure?"

        "Yeah," you smile.

        Billy steps inside your car and goes stiff as a board trying not to do anything that'll spook you or get him kicked out. He really hopes he isn't dreaming. Billy doesn't get second chances. He is taken out of his thoughts when you grab his hand.

         "Look, I-... You make me happy, Billy. You really do, and... And I still want you- want to be with you," you confess, "But, what happened at the school, that can't be a regular thing. My parents... They yell enough for the whole of Hawkins. I don't like it when people yell, especially the people I lo- care about."

      "It's never going to happen again, baby girl," he says very seriously, "I promise."

      "Good," you murmur, "Now kiss me, Billy Hargrove. I missed you, and you've got a lot of making up to do."

       "Anything for my girl."

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Hi, other anon! First ranty anon here. Thanks for adding the bit about Rhys and Taika! In my head I included them in the cast and crew who helped shape their characters but actually didn't put that in the rant... 😅 And I gotta rant again, sorry! Please yell at me if I'm annoying. I just gotta rant at somebody.

But of course canyon op downplays their contributions! They're straight, they don't count! Only Con does since he's the only queer one in the "main three" cast! Besides who cares about how wonderfully adorable and romantic their little ad-libs made Ed and Stede! Nobody cares about Ed and Stede!

/sarcasm

Never mind the (admittedly slim) possibility that either Taika or Rhys or both could be queer and just publicly identify as straight. I don't know or care if they are or aren't, that's their business. But downplaying their contributions to the show just because they identify as straight is not the best look. Same with trying to villify Jenkins for his original plan (which still doesn't matter because he scrapped it) just because he's cishet.

"Jenkins never meant for this show to be so kind to queers!" they say as if Jenkins had nothing to do with the casting of so many queer actors and the hiring of the astoundingly diverse writers' room. He asked for queer writers and actors to help him shape this! Why does canyon op try to paint it as queer actors subverting a straight showrunner to make something awesome when he asked them willingly to contribute? Is it not better that this cishet man went to members of the community to help him make his show a wonderful celebration of all types of queerness because he recognized his limitations? Do they not realize just how rare it is to have that? Do we not want more awesome queer media that treats the community with love and respect, no matter who makes it? Why try to paint one of the few truly good things we have like it's just barely dodged being yet another lame "queerbait" when it's anything but?

(sorry again but I just saw their additions and justifications and like...did you not read your own tags, canyon op? you are trying to turn people against Jenkins with your post and you are twisting his words to turn him into a villain and downplay his involvement and make the show entirely the result of the cast dodging around him and...I'll stop now. sorry! 😆)

I think the original poster blocked me, which I'm more than fine with, but I still do find it quite funny that I literally didn't realize they were going for a "David Jenkins bad!!" narrative.

It's hard to say who shapes what in a show like this; again, it seems pretty indicative that Jenkins is collaborating with others and not simply forcing through everything himself. The whole point of allyship is for those in positions of privilege and power to use that to hold the door open for others who aren't. (I know there are lots of people who take issue with Taika, for different reasons that are perfectly legitimate, but he has undoubtedly held the door open for others, and it seems that Jenkins has too.) So to criticize Jenkins for making a poor choice and then deciding he could make a better choice, and that turning into what we see on OFMD, seems not at all about allyship or queer rep, but about personal animosity.

Same goes for Taika and Rhys. Again, plenty of actors can and would categorically refuse to do the queer romance. Others would be entirely uncomfortable with it and try to brush it off. I know nothing about these men personally, but every interview has them talking about how proud they were and are about what they've been able to do. (It's also, TBH, unusual to see two straight male actors being so openly loving about each other, which I think is nice to see.)

What struck me and so many others about the first season is that...they actually did that. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn't. They're gay. It's a romance. There are bisexuals and trans/nonbinary people and asexuals and polyamorous people. The cast is hugely diverse. One of the leads is a biracial indigenous man and the other is the whitest man on the planet and they're shown falling in love (look at media history sometime and let me know how common THAT is). The big villains are toxic masculinity and colonialism. Classists get burned alive. Racists get their hands stabbed.

It is very much not a perfect show, and there are things it could do better, but what it does is fucking remarkable. You will not find someone more leery of white male artists than me, and it is always possible to be disappointed by a direction a show takes, even when its first two seasons are so good. But we should embrace it when art is done right and this show, so far, is done right.

I sure as fuck will not let a teeny group of dingbats mad that it doesn't conform to the story in their heads ruin that.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ girl here, this question is going to be a little long. Is there any way to be "aware" (if that's the word I'm supposed to use) that someone is heading for a grip of inferior function? Or someone notices that it is approaching and thus manages to avoid it?

I ask this because since the beginning of the year I have been actively taking care of my body and food, with the aim of improving my aesthetics and the general quality of my health (physiological, emotional, etc.). I don't exaggerate in my workouts and I don't practice severe restrictions on my diet, I allow myself to eat sweets as long as I don't overdo it during the week, I don't count calories, I always try to be aware of the physical signs of my hunger and I daily make notes of my meals in my diary to avoid emotional eating.

However, in the past during a phase of my teenage years, I've been in a pinch of Se and been obsessive and extreme about my body. I spent almost the entire day practicing physical exercises and didn't allow myself to eat anything other than what I considered healthy because I wanted to be flexible and beautiful (thin like a friend of mine who had lost weight and I felt envious of her body), which led me to many I often show off my flexibility so that others will be amazed at me and I will get the approval and attention I crave.

I got it into my head that I needed to be "productive" and "dedicated" to the maximum 100% of the time, I couldn't have rest days or relax a little on the diet, which also led me to other extreme behaviors typical of the inferior. endlessly cleaning and arranging the furniture in my room, to the point where I felt physical pain in my body. Back then, I remember thinking it was perfectly normal to do this and taking it as evidence that I was an extremely goal-oriented person, which was clearly me deluding myself and avoiding the factual reality of the situation.

I don't do that anymore nowadays, but just out of curiosity and who knows to guarantee it in the future, do you have any tips on how to be more attentive to the signs so that I can understand and change my mindset? I'm afraid that some event in life will shake me so much that I'll succumb to this state of mind and lose all the progress I've already made. I know INFJ's are prone to emotional disconnection and tend to be myopic to evidence that they are over-controlling when they abuse Ni. Thanks!

-----------------------

When INFJs realize how good they are at self-deception, it's only natural to worry about getting caught up in it again, so I understand where your question is coming from.

Let's say that you happened upon a brochure about eating disorders at the supermarket and then realized that your behaviors matched up with the symptoms of a particular disorder. The brochure taught you the rule that "xyz behavior = unhealthy". This may be enough to prompt to you stop it, because knowledge is power, after all. But does this brochure tell you anything about how the disordered behavior arose in you, where it came from, or what caused it? No.

The purpose of function development is to increase your self-awareness to the point where you not only understand that you have a problem but also understand how that problem arose. Have you reached that level of self-awareness?

For a pattern to repeat itself, the conditions that made the pattern possible in the past have to be the same or similar enough to trigger the same reaction from you today. What were the conditions that gave rise to your disordered eating and exercising (Se grip)? Generally speaking, disordered behavior is often a failed attempt to address a legitimate psychological/emotional issue. What issue was the disordered behavior meant to address? Have you really gotten to the bottom of it?

You describe the difference between Now-You and Old-You, but I don't think the comparison goes deep enough, which is why you're still unsure of yourself. You said you were driven by craving for approval and attention, as well as by envy of people you admired. This sounds like an honest enough description of your motives. However, it leaves some important questions hanging in the air:

- WHY exactly did Old-You crave approval and attention so much, to the point of self-punishment? Are there still situations that trigger this craving in you today and do you have a healthy method of handling those triggering situations?

- Why did Old-You rely on social validation to appraise personal value/worth? Do you still do this or have you adopted a different method of self-appraisal? If there's a different method, do you know whether it's a healthy method?

- Why did Old-You think in terms of "hierarchy", i.e., compulsively categorizing everyone along brutal judgments of who is "superior"/"inferior" or "better"/"worse", and how to be "perfect" at the top? Do you still think in this way today? If so, why? What do you gain from it and what is the cost?

- Why did Old-You believe that the most important thing about people and/or the most important thing people have to offer up is their physical body, to the point of devoting all time and attention to perfecting it? Do you now recognize how superficial it is to treat people merely as bodies to be used for pleasure, as well as how this attitude might interfere with the formation of fulfilling and meaningful relationships? Is this related to sexist beliefs about what women are meant for?

- Why did Old-You believe that being a cheap imitation of another person would lead to you being seen/praised as special too? Do you still fail to recognize this logical contradiction and keep trying to be like others, with the only real difference being that you don't try as hard as Old-You did? What is your identity, really, when it is just a patchwork of qualities you appropriated from others?

These questions go deeper to reveal the conditions that gave rise to the disordered behavior. If you're unable to answer most of them, it's likely you still haven't gotten to the bottom of the problem yet. If the underlying causes of the problem haven't really been addressed, then, yes, it has the potential to rise up again. You say you have better motives now, which is good. However, remember that people can be motivated by a multitude of factors at the same time. Self-awareness involves being fully honest with yourself about all of the factors.

[lightlycareless]

post plz🥺🥺🥺🥺

>:) Hello anon, ask... and you shall receive!!

It goes without saying that spoilers for chapter 31 are ahead hehe proceed with caution.

P.S. I have yet to give it another last proofreading, so some words might change but the sentiment will remain. (In other words, excuse me if some wording is weird hahahah)

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Is a question that brings you an immeasurable amount of unsavory memories.

Beginning with Naoya's interposition. 

He knew very well that by saying those words he'd be cornering you into a spot you would have no way to get out —at least not easily— effectively reminding you that he had you under his control, down to the smallest, insignificant details. In that matter, it was almost naive to believe that today would end without further precedent after the doctor's visit. After all, the day was just starting.

From there, the catapult of the actions that followed soon after. For some reason, perhaps wanting to avoid meeting anyone else, Naoya's past paramour is the first thing that comes to mind.

You'd like to say that you weren't affected by in any shape of form by her existence and her role in Naoya's romantic life, but the fact that a woman who was no allegedly longer involved with him had earned far much more respect than you, his legitimate wife, hurt you far more than you'd like to admit.

And that's without considering how you felt about his imprudent behavior, how Naoya allowed her to be beyond comfortable with him, followed by his unwanted instigation, intended to irk you into lashing at her for  flirting with your husband, only to be angry when you didn't proceed as planned, detailing you into giving him a spoonful of your burning honesty, which lead you to the most painful memory of your life yet.

One that just by even thinking if it made your heart sink, and your eyes water.

If perhaps you'd fought harder, not gone along with his invitation to get food, you wouldn't have bumped into his past lover, wouldn't have gotten into an argument with Naoya, and thus… your survival wouldn't be hanging on a thread, one so delicate… that was to be broken simply for your ability to have children.

So no, all things considered, you did not want to go "get something to eat" with him. 

You don't want to go through that same circle of hell just because he felt in dire need of a distraction.

You didn't even want to go outside the estate in the first place, only doing so for the stated purposes of seeking the answer that you needed relating to your health, the ones that the doctor was willing to professionally give anyways, and head back with this precious information to ease both the worries of those that genuinely cared for you, and your troubled mind.

Naoya was nothing but a step towards your goal, and now that that was done, you no longer need to pay attention to his demands…

But even when you already accomplished what was to be the worst outcome, courtesy of his own father, that doesn’t seem to halt your husband from taking the same actions as last time.

If anything, you hoped that the fear of a repetition from that infamous day would’ve convinced him to go straight back home, halt the charade he was putting on with you, and go on with his life—but alas, that was not to happen, and it seems you’d have to take matters into your own hands.

"No, I’m not hungry. Thank you" is all that you say, diplomatically yet sternly as possible to show that your answer was inarguable, before continuing your path towards the car; only stopping when you are a few inches away from the door, eyes set on the handle, waiting for him to unlock it.

"We still have the rest of the day" Naoya attempts to sway your decision away, just as you expected he would, but you react accordingly by ignoring his words and denying him a reaction. 

This stirs frustration inside Naoya, but Ranta’s lingering presence in the back of his mind keeps him at bay. It’s true that he doesn't want to push you away, but having to avoid this specific possibility was, as stated before, far more difficult than he ever anticipated—partaking in a life of privileges made it possible.

Still, he’s proven to be quite the difficult man to break down once he’s set his mind onto something, and with previous preparation, he’ll attempt to make you reconsider his offer in a way that would’ve appeared relatable to you…

If he hadn't been so blind to his own mistakes.

"Come on, we've been locked in the estate for days, don't you want to do something different?” He needled “Besides, you heard the doctor, you have to eat more if you want to be healthier—and we both know that’s not going to happen with my vegetarian family. I, for once, been wanting to get a hold of some protein"

You hold back the urge to scoff, loudly at least. 

Was that his attempt to get you to open up with him? Engage with you? By comparing himself with you, as if he were stuck in the estate for the same reason as you?!

Now that was worth all the humiliation in the world! 

You now wanted to laugh.

Naoya was not even remotely similar to your situation, he should know so since he was the one that made it possible! Yet, he refused (or perhaps couldn’t, poor ignorant Naoya) to see it.

You desired to confront him by asking whose fault that was, who was the one behind the fact that you were kept away from your family and friends, without any reasonable way to contact them, forced to spend your days at the estate—and if that wasn’t enough, you were also limited within the availability of certain facilities.

It was his own damn fault that you didn’t want anything to do with him, and yet, he delusionally goes on by acting as if you were the one that day decided one day to wake up and lose your marbles! 

There was a moment where you actually believed he’d gained a sliver of self awareness after what you've done for him by standing up against his father—something you’ll probably regret ‘till the end of your days— by the way he’d kept his distance, but after remembering the manner in which he questioned your motives immediately after, his “caution” regarding his father’s untapped cruelty, instead of appreciating what you've done, and now, this… you've long given up on that dream.

It's obvious that there was to be no accountability on his part.

This his world, you were just unfortunate enough to be part of it.

"I want to go eat with you" he insists once more after seconds go by and you have yet to answer, or even acknowledge him outside of watching his reflection through the glass.

"I'll stay in the car. I’ll wait here while you go out and eat" you murmur back, the fingers from your right hand now gently clutching the handle, showing your determination and urgency to leave.

The gesture catches Naoya’s eyes, who were not able to leave your hand as he sees you pulling the handle from time to time, which only washes him over with a despicable current of emotions, starting with anxiety.

“I’m not leaving without you" he counters, pushing through his emotions and taking a step closer towards you, all actions that make you frown and tense up.

Maybe through the eyes of others this would’ve been a rather… moving gesture, somewhat romantic of a man not wanting to leave without the companionship of their partner, feeling rather lonely without it.

Or even the determination of not giving up on them, showing how willing they are to go against all odds to stay by their side.

But for you, it was far from alluring—

It was horrifying.

Naoya was growing desperate and you could hear it in his voice, and your survival instincts naturally kicked in.

Shall you…. Hold your breath, and dive in?

Is it worth suffering the physical strain of swimming against the tide, in hopes that it will be a quick venture, and before you know it, you’re back with the people you care for?

Finally safe and away from him?

You hate being out in these kinds of situations, but even then, what was there for you to do?

Trying to run away is certainly an option, but it was one that came with many flaws: you had no money, knew nothing of this city, and if you took into consideration Naoya's speed, you'd be caught before you even took one step outside the building—you're not as impressive as your sister when it came to stamina, or strength as your brother, and with your now out-of-shape body… there was no way you could put up a fight against him.

Perhaps a call for help would be much better?

… No. It just circles back to the first point. 

Naoya is going to outwit you. He’s going to stop you as soon as he catches wind of your intentions, and it dreads you to even think what kind of punishment he’d want to enact on you.

Since your life is already on a deadline, the only thing left to do is make your life even more miserable, with the most obvious thing that comes to mind is hindering what little socializing you have with the rest of the estate—it was a short list of people in that realm, but important nonetheless.

You couldn’t permit that. It meant losing too much already. It was of the utmost priority to keep a channel of communication needed to keep a channel of communication—at least for your sanity.

You want to laugh at these points.

Could you really be considered his wife, after describing what was to occur to you if you dared to go against him? What you just detailed was a slave, not a wife. Certainly not his wife, companion of the heir of the Zen'in clan.

There must be sin you haven’t accounted for to have your life go this wrongfully. 

It's after revisiting all these points that you finally concede to his request—a decision that was already made for you as soon as you agreed to go to the doctor with him— releasing your grasp from the door representative of your freedom and turning around to let him know.

"Ok" you say, eyes briefly on him before landing down to the ground, the sight that was to accompany you for the rest of the day, while clenching your hands. "I'll go with you"

You're not sure of it, perhaps it was a fraction of your imagination or you were starting to see things, but through the briefest of moments you were relocating your gaze somewhere else, you swear to have seen a smile on Naoya's lips.

A mirage that rattles down to your very core. The significance of submission to his demands, trapped in a passage with no escape, just how you felt this marriage has always been, and will continue to be.

"The place we’re going to is at a walking distance, so I’ll just leave the car here" Naoya explains —as if your consideration had any value towards his decisions— followed by a quick scan of your face, hunting a possible reaction from you.

It’s a habit of his since the beginning of the day, one that you battle with another habit of yours, which is to be your indifference. 

At your silence the heir can’t do anything but press his lips together, a comforting method to push down his staggering disappointment. 

"Let's go" Naoya motions at the exit. And you, too deep to back out, sigh whatever remains of your unwillingness and begin to follow him—down to the first floor of the building, out the parking lot and onto the city—all with the requirement of staying  a few steps behind him.

[sherlokiness]

I have a hard time beliveing polygamous marriage can still be in effect. They haven't been practiced in 100 years.

Hi, anon. Thanks for the ask!

Not being practiced is not the same as being illegal. The First Night for example is a thing that's been explicitly outlawed despite having precedents. That is not the case for polygamy. There's an even older ssm where the author said there were other cases of polygamy after Aegon and Maegor before F&B was released.

Here are two SSMs concrning polygamy.

Maegor the Cruel has multiple wives, from lines outside his own, so there was and is precedent. However, the extent to which the Targaryen kings could defy convention, the Faith, and the opinions of the other lords decreased markedly after they no longer had dragons. If you have a dragon, you can have as many wives as you want, and people are less likely to object

It seems like the reason Targ could do whatever they wanted was because they had dragons. Where does it say Targs couldn't have multiple wives? The one where they couldn't marry their sister? Oh wait.

Would polygamous marriages be accepted in Westeros today, especially if Targaryens were involved?

If you have some huge fire-breathing dragons, you can get people to accept a lot of things that they might otherwise have problems with.

So it's the dragons and GRRM himself didn't say it's impossible. In F&B, there is no quote directly stating that polygamy has been abolished. The Faith could not make it so. We know the Faith considered incest and polygamy as sins and Jaehaerys I compromised with the Faith using the Doctrine of Exceptionalism. He picked incest over polygamy but nowhere in the text does it say it's been made illegal. He just picked his battle with the Faith at that time cause he was in love with Alysanne.

One might say Maegor's marriages weren't real but the fact is those women were acknowledged as his wives by the people. The stain of polygamy is largely bc of Maegor but that hasn't stopped other Targs from contemplating of doing it.

“Ser Jorah would be angry, she knew, but he was the one who'd said she had to take two husbands. Perhaps I should marry them both and be done with it.”

Dany obviously is open to polyandry and its possibility. Polygamy is a thing that will make Jon legitimate not because I want him to but because GRRM has set the precedents for it. It wasn't put there just as a thing of the past. I guess this is all kinda moot because might makes right in the end. RL marriage will be legitimate depending on whose agenda. I think the North would support it so as to not make Lyanna some girl Rhaegar has gotten a bastard with.

He is not my father. The thought leapt unbidden to Jon's mind. Lord Eddard Stark is my father. I will not forget him, no matter how many swords they give me.

They will give him many swords which could mean the IT(made up of a thousand swords) and the allegiance of Houses(my sword is yours). Also if Jon is a bastard, he's not worthy enough to marry the first born daughter of Ned Stark.

[rinhaler]

Hi

I don't know if you want to talk about your previous work on this blog and you don't need to respond to this message but I didn't dare tell you this before

I want you to know that I consider you an extraordinary writer, from time to time I reread WUSYANAME and I can't explain to you how emotionally attached I am to it. Last night it was 4AM and I had to be at work at 8 and I couldn't stop reading it like the first time I found it. I'm not asking you to continue the series or anything like that, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I have cried, laughed, and my heart has felt like it was going to burst out of my chest countless times reading at your work. I am very happy to discover that you opened this other space and are willing to continue writing.

I truly believe that you are incredible and capable of achieving great things if you decide at some point to take it to the next level. I would love to see your work become bestsellers and support them like now.

Thank you for sharing your passion and your talent and making me feel so many things.

❤️❤️❤️

Hey!! Gonna gush under the cut <3

Thank you so much for this it's definitely gotta be one of the nicest asks I've ever had. I say all of the time, I literally can't believe it when people reach out and compliment my writing because I genuinely don't think I'm all that. I think I'm average at best! But getting asks like this about how much my work is loved and appreciated and legitimately enjoyed is just the nicest feeling in the world so thank you. I'm really honoured and thankful that you'd reach out to tell me. I know it can be daunting to send asks to people whether you're on anon or not so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You've really made my day a million times better than it would have been without this.

I'm super self deprecating and harsh on myself and everything I create as I'm sure a lot of people can tell! But I love WUSYANAME and I know it means a lot to other people as much as it does me. It was such a spur of the moment piece that I wrote and I had no idea it would become so loved and talked about on my blog and the community we created over on fuwushiguro. I get asks about it even now asking if I will continue it and I was saying no for the longest time. I didn't think it was something I wanted to associate with on my new blog but the more I've been thinking about how much I love it and how much people enjoy it, I'm starting to reconsider.

It will definitely take a lot of work to transfer all of the chapters but the thought of re reading it when I haven't really read it at all since the chapter publication dates, it's kind of an exciting thought!

Anyway sorry for rambling but thank you so much for this beautiful and kind ask. I hope you have the loveliest day and take care of yourself. Thank you for following me over here and continuing to support me. I appreciate it and you so very very much 💕

[musashi]

im here to essentially second the "its mostly projection" anon re why people are Like This to you.

most people on this website just really fucking hate themselves. You're the only person ive seen on this website afair that doesnt. i think a lot of these people see "oh autistic mentally ill queer person! we must be the same!" and then treat you the way they desperately wish someone would treat them, or the way they treat their friends, who may prefer things that way.

i think the assumption that everyone on tumblr hates themselves really hits whenever you talk about how people perceive you especially. a lot pf people on tumblr would see someone saying "people dont really find me attractive" and interpret it as "/I/ dont find me attractive and my ridiculously low self esteem means i assume all people feel the same way.

i also rather doubt that any of these people actually read your carrd unfortunately. they see what they perceive as someone in distress and in need of comfort and rush right in to "reassure" you. carrds are also one of the hip things to make fun of right now, the assumption may be made that its mostly unimportant stuff about like fandom bullshit.

I think also the fact that you are in fandom makes people think you're like a teenager. a loooot of people, especially actual teens, see fandom as something for "young people" and surely a tax paying adult wouldnt be writing fanfic? a lot of antis will tell older adults who dont buy into their bullshit to "go do your taxes" or "shouldnt you be taking care of your kids" and shit like that

finally, talking about like otherkin stuff, or really just being otherkin is seen as juvenile as well, especially by non kinfolk. i think a lot of people see it as sort of an extension of "playing pretend", rather than the legitimate spiritual belief that it can be

so yeah essentially people are projecting and or see that you do a lot of things they feel are childish or whatever and thats why theyre like that. i dont think theres much you can really do about that unfortunately, short of maybe changing the ask box prompt to like "i am an adult who pays taxes" or something

one small thing that might possibly help is changing your icon? it's ridiculous that people think this way, but from what i can tell, a lot of people see "cartoon character on a pride flag" as a juvenile trait, something only teens really do. whether they know your actual age or not, they could subconsciously assume you are a child essentially.

this is all so valuable information thank you for sending it holy shit.

to be honest. i forgot. that people in the current climate view ANY of these things as immature. i am so steeped in my own reality full of adults who collect toys and write fanfiction that i wholly forgot that there are swaths of the world who view those as hobbies for teenagers and kids. like that thought did not even occur to me. every single adult or friend i have in my life is in fandom in some way fsdgsfd

i really am sympathetic to people with low self esteem who need support but i just wish they wouldn't project onto me. i have my doubts and problems sure but they are not something i listen to, and when they are fixable i simply fix them. i wish people would understand that my peace in life comes from a conscious effort and dedication to loving myself and being happy. there is no secret caveat, there is nothing deeper than that. once upon a time i was miserable. it sucked. so i took the steps to change it, and i will do that forever, as things shift and change. end of statement.

you're right, there's really nothing to be done about this. prompting my ask box is a good idea though, that might get some people to stop. i can't change my icon cause i match with jessica :3 and honestly as much as i'd love folks to leave me alone, pride flag icons are too cute to pass up.

thanks again this is all good food for thought

[for the love of god someone please tell me why everyone treats me like an uwu soft baby who needs protecting/support]

[yukipri]

hello, “canon rewrite” anon here! thank you so much for your response. I’m sorry if my question made it seem like I don’t appreciate your work. I’m really enjoying what you’re writing! I think that when I said it felt like building up to a canon rewrite, I more meant that you’re taking events we’re familiar with and adding greater complexity to them. you go so in depth for each event that it feels like something entirely new and exciting. and frankly, if you wanted to rewrite all of TCW in this universe with all these new subplots and clone culture and everything, I would read several million words of it. I did not mean in anyway to call your writing “simple,” and for that I apologize. I think as long as you keep writing what makes you happy (here and for your other projects like winged!clones), the reasonable and understanding fans will be happy too! 💜

In response to this ask.

No worries at all anon, and thank you for clarifying!

There are so many ways to create fanworks of a base media, and most fanworks to an extent take something in the original and reinterpret it, alter it, or discard it. "Canon rewrite" is a legitimate form of fanwork, but it admittedly isn't the goal of the Prime Override, which uses canon events as landmarks to help identify where in the timeline we are, while also using the character moments in them to explore characters and their relationships.

Thanks so much again for reading my work, and for stopping by to chat with me!

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

if u want to talk any more about ur fic PLEASE go ahead <3 i mean this lightly bc i dont want to hurt anyone but kind of THE only valid beatles rpf imo!!! (this includes all biopics)

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Anon this made me LAUGH OUT LOUD and is also insanely kind and I love how it says Fuck Nowhere Boy rights to top it off. So thank you, you just made my evening with that <3<3

Anyways OKAY FINE. I'LL TALK ABOUT SOME BITS IN MY OWN FIC WHICH I LOVE. But I'll put it in a read more both for spoilers and because it's ridiculously self-indulgent (and I'll label bits in order by chapter so if someone's interested but not up to date they can stop reading dgdhjklhgj)

Chapter 1

I think the moment I was sure my story was worth telling, was after I wrote this bit:

This bit legitimately encapsulates SO MUCH of the entire essence of I'm Looking Through You to me. The plot sounds like a goofy, cartoonish gimmick, but at its core, I write it as a character and dynamic study and a huge part of the story is a reflection on the situation John, Paul and George found themselves in by 1966 and how drugs specifically played a role in it. I think it's generally a super under-talked about period of theirs, because there weren't any full-on fights yet, as there would be two years later, but a lot of the tension that eventually led to their fall-out is already sown by this point. Also, with Yoko and Linda not yet in the picture, more focus can be put on the way they interconnect, instead of it being sidelined for competitive Bringing-Girlfriend-To-The-Studio, if that makes sense (not that that wasn't a major factor IRL)

Chapter 2

Okay, so a thing I've discovered that I ADORE writing is John/Cyn scenes. And I don't even ship them, like I'm not writing it cause I find it especially cute, I just think there's so much THERE and we don't talk about it! I love this part so much:

The DEFENSIVENESS y'know? Mouthing off from shock but accidentally implying something low-key terrible. I feel like adding any words to it will do it less justice than it deserves because it makes me feel a type of way that John feels the need to insist that he loves Cyn but I can say no more…

Also when he nearly faints upon finding out about Julian and is entranced by the pic but ALSO Paul being a Little Too Into John's child. GOD!!!!!!!! (I've said this before but: the way Paul passively participated in the Kenwood family dynamic is insane and we should talk about it ALL THE TIME actually!!!!!)

Chapter 3

There's something tender about the moments when the rest of band get to see John wide-eyed with wonder at things they've long taken for granted. Not all of it has to be sad.

Also Paul, always focusing on the music, not only for the sake of itself and because his priorities aren't quite straight though, but also as his main tether to John as a person. I legit find it so strange when people talk about their musical connection (and their musical disagreements as well to some extent!) as if it was just a sexual proxy of some sort, when it was in fact their entire world since they were sixteen. "We could always sing."

I also actually love the entire Cyn-narrated bit in this chapter because I think it really balances her feelings for John well. (I love when she is first angry at him for having been neglectful for years, but then suddenly misses the old him, when John asks to see Julian though Julian's obviously in bed by now and even neglectful old John would know that, because he wasn't totally inconsiderate and oblivious!) One of my favourite bits from her perspective though is this one, when she bargains with herself about how John feels and felt about her. IDK it's so real and also interesting to think about the parallel she draws between her and John & Paul and Dot (one I've thought about a lot while thinking about John's feelings for Cyn tbh).

Chapter 4

(also the moment I remembered Tumblr sets an image limit lmaooooo so I'll try to tone it down with the screenshots)

The entire beginning of this chapter, with Julian and later also Paul is so *gestures vaguely*. There's just so much going on, and even though it divolves into John feeling like an inadequate parent, forced to rely on his best friend who doesn't even have kids of his own, I think the most touching part is when John realizes Julian genuinely doesn't care that he's forgotten things and how that radical acceptance is the moment he falls irrevocably in love with his son. I just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Also this is the first chapter that incorporated a really elaborate interpolation of song lyrics with the plot and I was so NERVOUS to get it right and soooooo happy to see people responding positively to it, because I've always known it was a more fringe thing to be writing about. Also, I love John just... Appreciating that he gets to play on nice instruments now. Playing on nice instruments is Everything in fact.

Chapter 5

I really like the crowd scene in the beginning of this chapter, and capturing a true mob mentality; how John giving them one second of positive attention tips everything out of control, how the fans burst into tears the moment they do reach him.

Also, I truly adore Paul at the beginning, feeling helpless in the face of John's grief driving him to madness, but snapping back out of it the moment he believes John to be in danger, while not being able to shake his sense of responsibility as a Beatle for the sake of his friend. Helping isn't always easy. Doing the right thing can feel like an impossible option.

And then, there's this John/Cyn moment:

I really didn't write this to be cute. There's so much going on under the surface here; Cyn is in complete control – and very desperate to keep it that way – and John is only vaguely aware of it and has no idea of the extent to which she's in control. But he doesn't care because he's just that torn up about everything, so he's more than willing to let it all happen.

Also, in a way the heart of the chapter is John's debate-turned-fight with Paul over the reverse guitar solo. I talked about John's perspective already here, but Paul's view on it is so dripping with… dare I say it? Grief, where he's not only deeply in love with the idea of Lennon-McCartney – Genius Duo but also desperately trying to carry out the wishes of a "recently departed". (Paul is an ass in this scene towards the end, but CONSIDER he is also a meow meow.)

Chapter 6

Paul is so often just… At a loss of words and I love pushing him into the uncomfortable position of having to find them. But it's tragic, too; that John used to be so in sync with him that it had never been necessary before. And also Paul, always teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown and hating himself every time he shows it.

I love how he realizes that smoking weed with John is in a way a betrayal of Ringo and George, because at their root, friendships are all about the experiences you have together. And it makes perfect sense for him to rationalize it away, thinking about how being "locked out" of the first LSD trip damaged his relationship with John.

Also the little tiny nudge at the less sunny side of Paul's childhood (and how John was very much to some extent at least aware of it, as we know from interviews he gave in the 70s) and how he somehow had to reconcile that with how John treated Julian. I just … :(

Chapter 7

The little hints that maybe John Was Not Fine before he hit his head either.

Yeah. Also, also, also John throwing himself into something he thinks is the one-size fits-all solution ag– I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF!!!!!

Also, John's Paris lament was conjured out of me OUT OF NOWHERE and I was sooooooo genuinely upset after writing it. I think it really encapsulates why the story is relatable to me despite having a ridiculous plot; it really drives home how confusing life can get during young adulthood, when everyone else seems to be dealing far better than you.

And the other relatable side of this, to me, is Paul at the end of this chapter, because I have felt real anguish like his, when people close to me failed to share in a passion I was so sure they would love. It seems silly but it's genuinely one of the most upsetting and alienating experiences imaginable to me.

I think I'll stop now because GODDAMN what the fuck lmao, and also I believe I've run out of screenshots but TLDR: this story means the woooooooooooorld to me!!!!!!!!