#thank you for sticking with me to the end

[reiding-writing]

Hi congrats on the Milestone, for the event can i ask for prompts 15 and 16 (angsty ones) Ty! 💖💖

EAVESDROP [CLIMACTERIC]

/ˈiːvzdrɒp/

15. "You heard that?”

16. "I didn't mean it.”

WARNINGS: miscommunication (i hate and love miscommunication way too much), happy ending

spencer reid x gn!reader || fluff || 3.0k || event masterlist!!

a/n: when i said that these were going to be coming out slower i unfortunately meant it 😭 didn’t help that i had massive writer’s block with this one either rip—

main masterlist!!

You really didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You just happened to get to the office early that morning and figured it’d be an opportune time to make yourself some coffee.

But once you heard your name in the mix of the conversation that Spencer and Morgan were having you found yourself waiting around the corner until they finished what they had to say.

“—should just ask,”

“That’s awkward, besides, if I was going to then it’d have to be something more meaningful,” You can hear Spencer sigh in exasperation as he shuts down Morgan’s suggestion, and your imagination tells you he probably has his face furrowed almost in a pout like he usually does when he’s frustrated.

“Then plan something, you can’t just wait for something to happen, you have to take action man,” Morgan sounds determined in his beliefs, and it leaves you with a furrowed expression as you try and piece together what they’re talking about and how it relates back to you.

Spencer wants to ask you something. In a ‘meaningful’ way. Because he’s been sitting around waiting for something for too long.

What?

“I know that,” Spencer lets out another sigh, and you can hear the sound of his mug hitting the kitchenette counter. “I’m just afraid that they’re going to turn me down, okay? I really like them and I want this to go well,”

If their conversation was a tv show you would’ve rewound it to hear what Spencer just said again.

Spencer Reid. Dr Spencer Walter Reid just openly admitted to liking you.

There’s a major part of your brain that tells you that he just meant it platonically, that he just really valued your friendship and didn’t want to ruin it by asking you whatever he was going to.

And then there was another part of your brain telling you that that was complete bullshit, because what kind of question could possibly be so bad that it would mean you didn’t want to be friends with him anymore?

It had to be something inherently romantic, or Spencer’s concerns wouldn’t make any logical sense, which was a very off brand thing for him.

“It’ll never ‘go well’ if you don’t actually ask,”

The small flutter in your heart only proves to increase at Morgan’s reply, and if you were an actual part of the conversation you’d agree with him.

You wanted Spencer to ask you whatever was plaguing his mind, whether it be to take you on a date somewhere or even if it’s just to get lunch with him on your shared break. Any step forward was a step in the right direction, and you wanted that next step.

He doesn’t.

The whole day goes by without a single peep from Spencer in relation to his little pep talk with Morgan in the morning, and it was beginning to frustrate you just a little.

Of course you wouldn’t actually be frustrated if you hadn’t overheard the conversation they were having, but that wasn’t your fault. It was like the fates were trying to bring you together.

And you were letting them drag you in whatever direction they deemed fit.

“Hey Spencer!” You catch him right as he steps into the elevator, and he sticks out a hand over the motion sensor to keep the door open for you.

“Hey,” Spencer gives you a small, awkwardly endearing smile as you join him inside the elevator, retracting his hand to grip the strap of his messenger bag.

“Thanks,” You let out a stuttered exhale as you catch your breath from the mild jog you made to reach the door, pulling on the shoulders of your shirt to straighten it back out.

“No problem,” He gives you another small smile, and then the conversation falls silent, the sound of the doors opening as the two of you reach the ground level being the only thing to break the stillness of your joined company.

You couldn’t really tel whether the lack of conversation was awkward or not, but you did know that the longer you were in his sole company the more that you wanted to oust your knowledge of his earlier conversation with Morgan, to the point where you were rehearsing how to bring it up in your head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Spencer gives you a small wave as the two of you step out of the elevator and into the covered parking lot, stuffing his hands into his pockets and turning around to walk away before you can reply.

You swear you catch the tiniest glimpse of him mouthing something to himself with a furrowed expression as he turns around, like he’s berating himself for something, and your brain decides that it’s the perfect time to just go for it, his name tumbling out of your mouth to no consciousness of your own.

“Spencer—”

He turns around at your call and your throat goes dry, your impulsiveness biting you right in the ass as you lose your confidence immediately under his gaze. “Yeah?”

“You… uh-” You watch as his eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion, and you clear your throat to throw your inhibitions out the window. You couldn’t just not tell him now. “I overheard the conversation you were having this morning with Morgan, the uh… the one about me?”

You can practically see the colour drain from his face at your admission, and it immediately makes you regret bringing it up. He wasn’t ready yet.

“You-” He lets out a sharp exhale through his mouth, tugging at the strap of his back awkwardly. “You heard that?”

You give him a small guilty nod with your lips pressed together, and he sucks in a breath like he’s forgotten how to breathe. “How much of it did you hear..?”

“About… three quarters of it,”

He shuts his eyes, head dropping until the hair framing his face catches against his eyelashes.

Of course you’d heard it all. Because him stumbling over himself over how to properly approach you to Morgan wasn’t humiliating enough.

No, you just had to be there to hear it.

There went any minuscule chance he had of actually managing to build something with you. You probably thought he was some weirdo who had some stalkerish fantasy of you.

“Spencer—”

“I didn’t mean it.” Your attempt at elaborating was very quickly short lived as he cuts you off.

“I- What?”

“I didn’t- I was just saying that to get Morgan off my back about not dating anyone,” Spencer knows he’s speaking straight out of his ass, but it’s the only thing that he can think of to say to possibly salvage a fraction of your friendship with him without making everything weird. “I didn’t actually mean any of it-”

There’s a small pause, silence flooding the space between you until you feel like you’re drowning in it.

“Oh,” There’s a split second where the astonishment shows across your face, and Spencer swears he catches a glimpse of disappointment in your irises before it’s covered up with something else. “Right- Yeah no that makes sense he can be quite annoying about that stuff can’t he?”

He gives a pathetic laugh at your response. “Yeah…”

“Well I’ll uh, see you tomorrow then…” There’s no mistaking the awkward tension between the two of you as you rifle in your pocket for your car keys.

“Yeah… See you tomorrow…”

—

“I messed up. I messed up really bad.” Morgan barely has time to leave the elevator before Spencer is practically dragging him into the conference room to speak to him privately, without any chance of their conversation being heard.

“Well good morning to you too boy genius,”

“I’m serious Morgan, this is really bad-” Spencer’s face conveys absolute desperation, almost bordering patheticness from just how rifled he seems.

“Okay okay damn,” Morgan raises his arms in surrender, a silent vow to take Spencer’s worries seriously.

“They overheard our conversation, the one about me being afraid to ask them out.” Spencer sighs in absolute indignation, taking a hand through his hair with an expression like his doctor just told him he wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow morning.

“Oh-” Morgan’s eyes widen slightly at Spencer’s confession, straightening up and furrowing his eyebrows. “And?”

“And I told them that I was just saying I wanted to ask them out to get you off my back about dating-”

Morgan’s shoulders drop, and he narrows his eyes slightly in a mix of confusion and absolute astoundment that he would fumble the bag that hard. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I didn’t want things to get awkward, but when they walked into the office this morning they didn’t even say good morning and we’ve been sat in a stalemate for almost ten minutes which suggests that they didn’t believe what I said and I did make it awkward and-”

“Reid-” Morgan holds up a hand to stop Spencer’s rambling mid-sentence. “Slow your roll a minute, what actually happened?”

“They caught me on the way out of the elevator to the parking lot yesterday and told me that they overheard our conversation,” Spencer drags his hand down his face in exasperation. “And I panicked and said that I didn’t mean it and that it was just to get you to stop asking me about my dating life, so that it wouldn’t make our friendship awkward…”

He exhales heavily, leaning his body weight against the conference table in defeat. “But I don’t think they believed me, and now they’re acting like I’m a stranger to them and I don’t know what to do,”

“Right… Okay,” Morgan takes a few seconds to take in the information through furrowed eyebrows. “And you’re sure it’s because they don’t believe you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It was Spencer’s turn to furrows his features at Morgan’s response. What else could it possibly be to do with?

“Look, I’m not going to say anything, but you need to come clean and talk to them, right now.”

“What—” Spencer barely gets the question out of his mouth before Morgan is leaving his side to open the door of the conference room and yelling your name across the bullpen to bring you over.

“What are you doing?” Spencer Whisper-yells through his teeth as he watches you approach from over Morgan’s shoulder, and he watches the way your curiosity turns to begrudgement as you realise that Morgan wasn’t the only one there.

You literally fizzled out after realising that Spencer was there, what else was he supposed to think?

“You two need to have a conversation,” Morgan points between the two of you before tugging you into the room by your forearm. “I am going to stand outside that door and you are not allowed to leave until you’ve spoken to each other properly, no bullshit. You hear me?”

It feels like you and Spencer are two five year olds as Morgan looks between you, but you both nod stuntedly either way, and true to his word, Morgan leaves the room and leans his weight against the closed door so you can’t push it open to leave.

“So…”

“So-”

The tension between the two of you is palpable as you both try to start the conversation at the same time, but the fact that you were so similar in your awkward attempts at breaking the silence makes you laugh a little, which in turn makes Spencer laugh as well.

It was a little silly, but you were both glad for the break in the stalemate you’d put yourselves in, even if just for that moment before you found yourselves surrounded by silence once more, albeit a slightly more comfortable one.

“Well… Uh…”

“I’m sorry I assumed you liked me, romantically I mean,” You cut off Spencer’s awkward attempt at breaking the silence with your own blurted excuse. “I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us I just thought—” You cut yourself short before you can finish to save yourself from your own embarrassment.

Spencer can only blink at your apology.

“I— What?”

“When I cornered you in the parking lot yesterday, I should’ve known it was just Morgan bothering you, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” You clasp your hands behind your back, nervously wringing your hands together.

So it wasn’t because you didn’t believe him. You did. And you looked… upset about it? Dejected maybe? Spencer couldn’t be quite sure, but whatever emotion you were displaying it wasn’t something objectively positive.

“I— You didn’t—” Spencer exhales heavily through his mouth, clenching his hands into fists as he internally fights with himself over whether to just spit it out and get it over with.

‘You need to come clean’.

Morgan sounded extremely assured in his statement when he directed Spencer earlier, like he knew what the outcome was going to be.

It wasn’t a case of ‘come clean because the truth is better than lying’, it was a ‘come clean because whatever happens afterwards isn’t going to be negative’.

“I lied to you,”

Spencer’s brain always worked faster than his body, but apparently he’d managed to override his own instincts and let his mouth make the decision for him before he could think through all of the possible consequences.

“…What?” The traces of disappointment in your eyes are diluted by a mix of surprise and confusion as you turn them up to his, and Spencer feels his throat dry out almost immediately.

“I wasn’t trying to get Morgan off my back, I…” Spencer lets out another small sigh. “I really was asking him for advice, I… I really like you, a lot, and I just didn’t know how to tell you without ruining our friendship so Morgan was trying to help,” He lets out a small laugh, his fingers raking through his hair animatedly as he laments his own patheticness. “It didn’t go very well, clearly,”

There’s a small pause after his confession, the silence settling in Spencer’s chest and making him feel nauseous as he waits for a sign of how you’re going to respond.

The blankness on your face isn’t very reassuring.

“You’re being serious?”

“…mhm…” Practically all of the conviction in Spencer’s tone disappears at your question, and he half-wishes that he could travel back in time so this conversation never happened.

“I like you too Spencer,”

“I underst—” Spencer lowers his head as he dejectedly accepts your rejection. Except it’s not a rejection. “What?”

“I like you too,” You repeat yourself with determination, your eyes practically boring holes into his, and he swears he can feel his knees trying to buckle underneath him.

“You uh… Really?” Spencer blinks at you like a deer in headlights, his genius brain seemingly unable to comprehend how the conversation, one Spencer was sure would end in your rejection and end with the two of you as practical strangers, somehow turned into this.

You give him a firm nod. “I’d like to go out with you Spencer, on a date, anywhere you like,” Your confidence starkly contrasts his shattered composure as you give him your proposal like you’re presenting in a board meeting. Although he’s sure it’s almost entirely feigned, and the way you fiddle with your fingers is evidence enough of his theory. “Please?”

There’s a tinge of desperation in your tone as you add your small plea at the end, and it makes Spencer realise that he’s just blankly staring at you.

“I— Yes— Yes I’d love to go on a date with you Uh—” Spencer thoroughly stumbles over his words in his rush to wipe the traces of doubt in your features. “I’d really like that…”

“Good— Good,” You let out a short laugh of relief at his answer, and he echoes it with your own as you stand in a shared dome of fluster together.

“Do you want to get lunch? Uh, together?” The way Spencer phrases the question was like a middle schooler trying to ask out their crush rather than a grown man, but it only makes the sentiment more endearing.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Your answer is joined by a soft laugh that echoes from the back of your throat, and it makes Spencer’s heart flutter.

“Okay,” Spencer returns your chuckle with his own, gesturing curtiously towards the closed door like a true gentleman, and you have to suppress the urge to stamp a kiss against his pink cheeks as you pass him to push it open.

There’s less resistance than there should be as you push it open, with Morgan decidedly having left the two of you to your own devices to return to his desk without either of you realising.

He shoots the two of you a wink and a thumbs up as you walk down the stairs, and Spencer’s cheeks turn a slightly darker shade of red at the ‘unfortunate’ realisation that he’s due in for a whole load of jests and teases from him going forward.

[rafeysdoll]

thank you @hewwokitti for helping me out!

“i need you to talk to me, okay? use your words.” rafe stresses, hand scratching his forehead, a vein popped out. “just.. just calm down and take a deep breath—” “don’t tell me to calm down!” you interrupt, snatching away your hand that rafe tried to caress.

the oldest cameron takes a deep and long breath himself, tongue prodding at his cheek as he practically feels the already little patience he has leaving his body. he lifts his hand, taking a step back. “stop shutting me out. you need to listen to me, i’m only trying to help you.” he prompts, staring at your figure. “i’m on your side, okay?”

“i want you to explain to me why you’re freaking out on me,” he persists, trying to piece together any little puzzle piece to why he found you sitting on the edge of his bed with your arms crossed and refusing to let him even touch you.

but you only turn your head to the side, ignoring him. ever the stubborn girl you were sometimes. usually you were a good girl, thanks to the tight leash rafe always had you tied to as well as his strong and firm hand that pushed you back in shape — but he had been fairly busy these past two weeks. running around and doing business he swore you couldn’t join him in. it was only natural for your attitude to grow sour, at least you thought so.

rafe grits his teeth, the sound of him fiddling with his belt filling the silence. a tactful move to, in his words, remind you who’s boss and what he could do. “hey, hey. i’m fucking talking to you, don’t forget your manners. my.. my patience is already up here.” he states, even talking slower than usual in hopes it would really absorb into your brain. lifting his hand and leveling it above his head, a makeshift scale.

you grumble, stomping your foot as you feel the fight in you crumble. “yeah, yeah. that’s what i thought. you gonna tell me?” he emphasizes, nose flaring.

your vision grows blurry, tears quickly collecting in your lash line as you whimper, face twisting to a deep frown and furrowed eyebrows — shoulders deflating. the sadness quickly entered just as fast as your anger left you.

“oh, oh come on baby.” your boyfriend strains, taking swift steps to approach and sit besides you. “none of that. none of that.” he urges, gripping your jaw and making you look at him, quickly wiping away the tears that fall.

“it’s just.. well i just missed you.. and-and,” a sob cuts through your sentence. “.. it’s been so lonely!” you continue, looking up at him through wispy lashes that now stick together.

rafe sighs, kissing your forehead. “let it out,” he mumbles against your skin. “i’m right here now aren’t i?” he tried to reassure, licking his lips. “yeah… but, what about tomorrow?” you sniff, bottom lip trembling. “don’t worry about it, always take care of you one way or another, don’t i?”

and it’s true! he follows through with his word, spending the following day letting you cling by his side without break — making up for the time he wasn’t available. but of course, everyday can’t be like that. so he surprises you with a small kitten in the end of the night to keep company when he can’t.

[autismswagsummit]

On Season 2, and the continuation of this blog.

I've been thinking about how to address Season 2 on this blog for a while now. Obviously, it didn't end up happening for the blog anniversary as expected, and there hasn't been any signs of it here since. I feel dishonest for stoking false hopes, and as such it feels essential to clear up confusion on the status of the next season.

As you know, this blog only has 1 operator. I'm not looking for secondary mods at the present, and even if I was I wouldn't know heads from tails as to who to ask. This means that I am solely responsible for all blog maintenance and running the polls. On top of issues pertaining to my real life, I simply haven't had the time or energy to set up the second season yet, especially since it's going to take a much larger scale than the first.

I'd also like to say that I'm not going anywhere. We aren't deactivating the blog or going radio silent forever, this is just a notice saying that Season 2 likely won't be for a while longer while I manage some personal stuff that can't be put off for the sake of running a tumblr competition. I do want Season 2 to happen, I don't want to leave everyone hanging and I especially don't want this blog to go cold without so much as a notice as to why.

To summarize:

Season 2 is coming, likely some time this summer as I won't have the free time for it for a while

I've been absent because there's only 1 of me, and I've been too busy with other matters to manage this blog at the same time

I'm not deactivating the blog, nor do I ever intend to

Thank you all for your patience in sticking around, and I'll see you again in Season 2.

[nocturnowlette]

do you have any hypnosis audio files youd recommend?

Honestly, the answer is a "maybe".

In my opinion, in my 8 years of listening to files, not even 1% qualify as something I'd consider well made. The vast majority are nsfw, and the vast majority of those just throw any actual hypnosis away for a sake of roleplay. That being said, here are some files that, in my estimation, are at a minimum decent.

And always, read the description of every file before listening, even after reading my descriptions.

There's puppy ones at the bottom, by the way.

First, not an audio file, but an itch.io game.

brainwasher_program by sleepingirl (18+)

This is the most competently made thing I will be showing. Sleepingirl is someone I would consider a good hypnotist skillwise.

There is also test hypnosis game1 and ithinktherefore, also itch.io text hypnosis games/sessions.

Next, to my knowledge, the best file I've personally stumbled on (though it still didn't quite wow me),

Failing to Resist by Jack Drago (18+)

This file is a trance trainer, as in a file meant to use the ideas of resistance and turn that idea against you. It does a passable job, and you might find it quite powerful and helpful if you have some stubborn tendencies as a subject.

Next is another passable trance trainer,

Mind Melt by LilithUnleashed (18+)

This file uses arousal to bring about a specific philosophy of trance, one you might find more conducive to effectiveness: enjoying trance for the sake of trance itself, not just using it as a means to an end. There is no wakener at the end.

Next, a twin pair of files,

The Call of the Void and Hypnotic Acceptance by LilithUnleashed

The Call of the Void is a sort of run of the mill hypnosis file meant to be looped, and designed to condition you to trance and specifically to Lilith to some extent. Hypnotic Acceptance is a conditioning file meant to be played out of trance and doesn't bring you in to it. It's a nice idea that can have some small potential benefits, it's also relaxing.

Lilith, in general, is a competent hypnotist, if not a bit... much... at times. That's more of a taste thing, though. She does a good job, and these files are good.

There is also this conditioning loop file by her which is also nice, as well as this one.

Next is one for the pups,

Collared Obedience by LilithUnleashed (18+)

This one is, at a minimum, a very enjoyable time. It creates a mental collar and links it with actual collars if you wish and have the means. It forms one made out of various concepts relating to obedience. The suggestions didn't stick for me, but I'm a tad stubborn.

Obedience 101 - Welcome to Class! by FlowLikeTea

If you haven't noticed, I like trance training files. It's primarily because they're some of the only ones that aren't trying to just do erotic roleplay with the facile idea of hypnosis and hypnotic aesthetics. It reminds me of the ASMR sphere in that way.

Anyways, this file is just nice. Not much else to mention.

Slow and Gentle Hypnotic Induction by GoddessSoft (NotSoftForWork)

Thank you, Ms. Soft, for making an actually competent SFW hypnosis file. Soft is quite the competent hypnotist, and we'll be showing a few of her files coming up, but this one remains my favorite. It's simply a very well done relaxation file by someone who knows her stuff and has a good understanding of most aspects of audio trances.

Good Puppy Clicker Training by GoddessSoft (18+)

This is a beginner-centric clicker training file by Ms. Soft. It's thorough, long, and pleasurable. If you haven't noticed, I have not recommended files intended to make you finish in any way. I don't like them. They do not work for me. You'll have to ask someone else. That being said, GoddessSoft's page on the link has many different puppy files to listen to. Most deal with that.

Puppydog Fractionation by GoddessSoft (18+)

Another not-specifically-nsfw-focused puppy file from Ms. Soft. If I recall right, the sound balancing might be a little iffy on this one, though. Fair warning.

That's all I remember for now, but I might have more recommendations in the future. I hope you enjoy, and be sure to tell me how you respond to some of them. Enjoy!

[your-averagewriter]

Lipstick kisses.

Summary: At the wrap party, Cooper and (y/n) get closer and closer before (y/n) leaves him with some lipstick marks as a reminder and a promise for later (pre apocalypse!Cooper Howard x fem!reader).

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: kissing, sexual references

-

-

“Right here in the vaults is where you can live, so get your spot now before they run out and you can be as happy as us.” I say, looking into the camera, wearing a Vault-Tec suit that is molded to my body. Cooper’s arm is wrapped around my waist as we wear matching smiles, playing husband and wife for one of the new ads. They’re cheesy but they pay well and afford me a spot in one of the vaults which I wouldn’t be able to pay for myself.

“She’s right.” He places a well-planned kiss on my cheek. “It’s as easy as pie.” Cooper says, winking and dipping his finger in the apple pie they left for the shoot. “These walls allow us to stay safe and live the all-American lifestyle, they keep out the radiation and the Reds.” He says into the camera and it finishes filming.

“That’s a wrap.” Someone from behind the camera says.

“Great, are we done then?” I ask and everyone disperses, including Cooper and me.

“Wrap party.” Someone pats me on the shoulder, I turn around and it’s Cooper.

“Wrap party? We’ve only filmed a few ads, it’s not like we filmed a movie.”

“Damn feels like it sometimes with all the takes.” I chuckle.

“So where’s the party?”

“My house starts at 8:00, most people won’t turn up until past 8:30 - you know how parties go.”

“Well, I’ll see you later then.” I say with a small smile before walking away to get into my usual clothes and head home before going to Coop’s party.

Getting home, I lay out my outfit, picking out a long red dress that is form-fitting and pack a little black handbag with my matching lipstick, a box of cigarettes, a lighter, keys and phone. Double-checking my makeup in the mirror, I slip on my heels before leaving and driving to Cooper’s house.

There’s a crash on one of the roads so the traffic is awful as I try to get to the wrap party but I end up getting there quite a bit later than expected - definitely past 8:30. Finally I pull up, having to park down the hill a little due to all the good car spaces already being taken.

It’s a short walk to get to his house, when I go to knock on the door, it’s already open and I can hear the music vibrating throughout the house. 

I navigate my way through the people, talking to some as they greet me - being one of the main actors in the advertiser means my name is plastered on the billboards. I find the kitchen easily despite the people crowding it and pour myself a drink in the tacky red cups.

I busy myself with the drink, trying to ignore the eyes on my figure, noticing that I didn’t understand the dress code, ending up in a much fancier outfit than anyone else. Tiring of the loud noise and not seeing anyone I truly knew, I head outside, walking over to one of the benches, facing away from the building and towards the pool and pulling out my cigarette pack and lighter. I place a cigarette in between my lips and try to light it but my lighter doesn’t work. 

I flick the lighter again and again.

“Hey darlin’, need some help?” I turn around to face Cooper with his lighter in hand. Looking up at him, he lights the cigarette for me.

“Thanks.” He sits down on the bench next to me.

“Not enjoying the party, sweetheart?”

“I don’t really know anyone here. They’re all on the business side of things and they seem to know me, it freaks me out.” I chuckle, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“Well, at least you look the part.” He grins. “You look stunnin’.”

“Thank you, I feel like I stick out.”

“You always stick out ‘cause you’re so pretty.”

“Not what I meant.” I chuckle as he takes the cigarette from my hand, lingering a second longer, his eyes on mine before lifting it up to his mouth and taking a long drag.

“Oh, I know exactly what you meant and I still think it’s a good thing. Don’t know how I didn’t see you sooner with this little get-up.”

I look him up and down, looking at the suit he’s wearing. “Since when did you wear suits?” I take another hit.

“Since I got a reputation.”

“I like you better with your cowboy attire.” I show a slightly dopey smile, maybe slightly influenced by the drinks I had earlier…

“Me too, darlin’, me too.” He laughs, taking a sip of a glass of whiskey he brought out with him. “I’ll wear the cowboy hat for you next time. Maybe we could have a party for two, dinner maybe.”

“Are you asking me out for dinner?”

“I’m asking you in for dinner. I make a mean spaghetti bolognese.” He wears a small grin on his face. “So what do you say?”

“That sounds nice. I like pasta. And you, of course.” I say, turning to properly face him, blowing a ring of smoke towards him with a smile

“Well, that’s good because I like you quite a bit.” He leans forward slightly, matching my smile, and moving forward slightly.

“Cooper, (y/n)! I hope I’m not interrupting.” Sebastian walks over, sitting down on the bench opposite the both of us.

“‘Course not.” I say, quickly pulling away with a slightly flustered look.

“You were interrupting actually, Sebastian. I was just about to kiss this pretty lady.” Both the men laugh while I sit there looking mildly embarrassed.

“Well then, I’ll be on my way. Hopefully I’ll see you later on, if you two don’t get too carried away that is.” He jokes, laughing.

“So embarrassing.” I mumble, head in hands once Sebastian leaves.

“I was just being honest, sweetheart. Now, where were we?” I look back up at him.

He pushes his lips against mine gently as I reciprocate, matching the delicate nature - almost as if he thinks I'll break. After a few seconds I pull away and can't help but chuckle as I look at his face.

“What? What is it?” He asks with a small grin.

“Nothing.” I decide not to tell him about the lipstick smudged on his lips. “Sorry.” I chuckle.

“C’mere, you.” He says, arm around my waist to pull me closer to him, a smirk on his face before he presses his lips against mine again.

I wrap my arms around his neck, resting them as we pull each other closer. I pull back to press a few kisses to his jaw, relishing the little lipstick kisses that are left behind.

“You're a little minx, you are.” He mumbles, I smile softly against his skin, continuing before making my way back to his lips.

I feel one of his hands travel up my thigh, his rough hands against the smooth skin exposed by the slit in my dress. He caresses the skin gently, rubbing little circles.

I play with his hair, my arms still resting over his shoulders gives me access to the back of his head also allowing me to pull him closer.

I feel his fingers reach under the slit of my dress and I pull back to reach for the hand with a conflicted smile.

“Cooper.” I say almost like a warning. “We're at your party and in your garden.”

“I don't mind.” He shrugs with a dopey smile.

“I mind.” I say, “Besides, people will be looking for you.” I stand up, holding his hand and leading him to stand as well. “C’mon.”

“Fine.” He huffs, worried he's missing out as he walks back into his house.

I lean over until my mouth is just by his ear.

“Y'know, if you wanted I could stay back a little later?” I whisper but it’s barely a question as I already know the answer, pulling back with a teasing smile before walking away again, leaving him with the lipstick marks as I find a bathroom to reapply my lipstick with a knowing smile.

Re-joining the party, I try to socialise with some other people but I make sure to keep an eye on Cooper talking to people trying to hide their hushed chuckles. Finally, I watch someone break the news to him as he walks over to one of the mirrors in his house, turning his face to examine the damage before he looks over at him. I send a small smile, feigning innocence as he shakes his head.

“Little minx.” He mumbles with a small grin.

-

AN: I hope you enjoyed reading!

I'm actually in love with Cooper, I swear (Ghoul form and not)

If you want a part two to this fic then let me know (I don't write smut though)!

[gamergirl929]

Age Is Just A Number (It Shouldn't Hold You Back) (Alex Morgan x Reader)

If there was one thing you didn't expect when you joined the USWNT, it was to develop a relationship with Alex Morgan, one that consisted of playful teasing and flirting. Despite the fact that she was ten years your senior, something she continuously reminded you of, you couldn't help but fall for her, age be damned, now if only Alex felt the same way.

Your tongue swipes along your lips as you watch Alex Morgan move to her feet, the woman’s uniform now drenched thanks to the waterlogged pitch you were being forced to play on in the semifinals against Canada in the Women’s Gold Cup.  

You move past her, a smirk on your face.  

“Looking good, as always Morgan.” You tease, and she rolls her eyes, giving you a playful shove as you all gather in the box for the incoming corner kick. 

“Shut up.” She shakes her head, though she can’t bite back a smile.  

You lick your lips, watching as Rose Lavelle sets up the corner kick, her hand held high in the air as she prepares to fire the ball.  

The second the ball leaves her foot you know it’s yours, your teammates covered by the Canadian players.  

You leap into the air, using your height to your advantage, jumping high above the Canadian players defending you, the ball ricocheting of your head and inches past Kailen Sheridan’s gloved hands. 

You again jump into the air, throwing a fist above your head as your teammates surround you, ruffling your hair.  

Rose jumps into your arms, and you lift her in the air before twirling.  

“Nice corner as always Rosie.” You say, the woman giggling.  

You turn towards Alex, a smirk stretching across your face.  

“Are you impressed yet?” You flirt and she snorts, throwing an arm around your shoulders.  

“It WAS an impressive header.” She says and you snicker.  

“Don’t worry, you’ll fall for me soon.” You wink and she giggles, her cheeks flushing slightly as she makes her way towards her place on the field, ready to put the ball back into play.

***********************************************************************  

The whistle blows and you sigh in relief, your clothes sticking to your body considering the rain had started back up towards the end of the second half.  

A number of your teammates jog your way, Emily Sonnett in particular jumping on your back.  

“Way to use your freakish tallness to take us through to the finalssss!” Emily says, her chin resting on the top of your head and you snort.  

“I knew it was good for SOMETHING.” You snicker as the woman slides of your back before sprinting towards Lindsey and Rose.  

Meanwhile, you make your way towards Alex, a smirk stretching across your face.  

“So, what did you think of my performance?” You ask and she shakes her head.  

“Ehhh.” She says and you throw your head back with a groan.  

Alex nudges you with her hip.  

“I’m kidding, you did great.”  

You smile, throwing your arm around her middle, giving her side a squeeze, something that makes her cheeks flush.  

“I do have to admit...” You say, leaning towards her, the proximity between you making her cheeks darken.  

“I really like seeing you all wet.” You wink and she gives you a shove.  

“Stop it.” She says, sticking her tongue out.  

“I already told you, I’m too old for you.” She says exasperatedly and you shrug.  

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” You bite your bottom lip, noting the way Alex’s throat bobs.  

“Y/N?” You turn, smiling when you see that you’re being waved over for an interview.  

You back away from Alex, your eyes raking down her front, your tongue swiping at your lips.  

“I think you’re JUST the right age for me.” You smirk, sending her another wink before jogging towards the waiting analyst.  

Alex groans, rolling her eyes.  

Despite the fact that Alex had told you multiple times that she was far too old for you, you continued to flirt relentlessly.  

In all honesty, she HAD thought about it, but she knew you should be with someone your own age, not someone 10 years your senior.  

“Mommyyyy!”  

Alex smiles scooping Charlie up in her arms as she darts across the field, her little arms wrapping around her neck.  

Not only was she 10 years your senior, but a mother as well, meaning her number one priority was Charlie, and would always be Charlie.  

Across the field, you watch the pair with a soft smile.  

“Jesus Christ, do you ever think of ANYTHING else?” Emily asks, throwing an arm around you and you grin.  

“Hey, you can’t blame me for trying.” You smirk, unable to take your eyes off the forward as she makes the way around the field, Charlie in her arms.  

“I mean, Alex IS milf material.” Emily shrugs, not realizing Kelley was standing behind her.  

“I’m totally going to tell her you said that.” The older woman snickers and Emily’s eyes widen, her cheeks flushing.  

“You wouldn’t dare...!” She says, chasing after Kelley as she sprints towards Alex.  

You shake your head as you turn, shaking your opponent’s waiting hands.  

You knew deep down you probably never had a chance with Alex Morgan, but there was no harm in flirting, was there?

************************************************************************

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were falling for me.” You tease as you hoist Alex to her feet after she goes down at practice.  

Alex’s blue orbs widen when you reach towards her face, delicately brushing a piece of grass off her forehead.  

She’s unable to stop her breath from hitching when your fingertips lightly graze her jawline, your eyes holding a softness she hadn’t seen all that often. 

You clear your throat, your cheeks flushing as your bravado completely shifts, a cocky grin stretching across your face. ��

You send her a wink before making your back to your position on the field.  

Alex’s throat bobs as you lift your shirt, using it to wipe the sweat from your face, revealing the chiseled muscle that hid beneath your shirt.  

“Jan, you’ve got some drool on your chin.” Kelley teases as she jogs passed, earning a glare from the seasoned forward.  

“I do not.” She grumbles and Kelley snorts.  

“Could’ve fooled me.”  

Alex turns away with a growl, again finding you on the field as you sprint towards Emily Sonnett, sliding in and swiping the ball from her, the blonde playfully nudging you on her way by.  

Watching the interaction makes something stir within Alex, her blue orbs narrowing as she glares at the blonde.  

She clears her throat, giving her head a shake before making her way down field and back into the scrimmage, putting whatever was churning in her stomach at the back of her mind. 

************************************************************************

The more she saw you and Emily interact, the more her stomach churned, it didn’t take her long to realize exactly what she was feeling.  

It was jealousy.  

She tried her best to ignore it, but it continued to rear its ugly head.  

It was then she realized she needed to put distance between the two of you, she had to ignore what she was feeling, you deserved someone your own age, not someone 10 years older than you.  

It was in that moment she decided she had to put distance between the two of you, she had to ignore your constant flirting, she had to avoid you, she had to stop the feeling in her chest when she saw you with Emily Sonnett. 

************************************************************************

“Looking good as always Morgan.” You wink as the huddle breaks, your eyes widening when Alex completely ignores you and turns away, jogging onto the field.  

You frown, your brows knitted in confusion.  

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Emily asks, her hand resting on your back.  

You shake your head.  

“N-Nothing.” You mumble, slowly making your way towards the bench.  

Maybe she hadn’t heard you?  

Maybe she was so focused on the game that she just forgot to respond?  

Whatever it was, it made your heart ache.  

The whistle blows and you jump, pulled out of your thoughts when the fans cheer and the game ultimately starts.

************************************************************************

When the halftime whistle blows, you jog towards Alex, her throat visibly bobbing.  

“Showing off for me?" You tease, screeching to a halt when Alex silently walks past you, in no way acknowledging your presence.  

It was then you realize that she HAD heard you earlier, she'd just chose to ignore you, something that tears your heart in two.  

“Why the long face?” Emily asks as she slings her arm around your shoulders, your frown deepening.  

“Alex is ignoring me...” You mumble sadly, Emily’s brows furrow.  

“Did something happen between the two of you?” She asks and you shake your head, the two of you making your way towards the locker room.  

“Not that I know of.” You say, Emily humming.  

“Maybe she’s just focused on the game?” She says, her head cocked to the side, and you shrug dejectedly.  

“Yeah, maybe.”

************************************************************************

It turns out, Alex’s refusal to talk to you had absolutely nothing to do with the game considering once you’d gotten onto the bus, when you even looked in her direction, she turned away, shoving her air pods in her ears.  

Your shoulders hunch as you drop down into an empty seat, your head hanging sadly.  

“Hey, what’s wrong kid?” Kelley asks, rubbing your back on her way by and you shake your head.  

“Nothing.”  

Kelley scoffs, flopping down in the seat beside you.  

“That’s bullshit.” She says and you sigh deeply.  

“Alex won’t talk to me, and I don’t know why.” You mumble sadly, Kelley’s eyes narrowing, her brows furrow.  

“When did that start?” She asks, her brown orbs darting from you to the back of Alex’s head and back.  

“Today.” You swallow hard, wiggling in your seat.  

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Kelley asks, your eyes widening in horror as you turn abruptly towards her.  

“Please don’t, maybe she just wants space, I don’t know.” You shrug, Kelley studying your face for a moment before nodding.  

“Okay kid, but if you want me to, let me know.” She says, ruffling your hair, which makes you smile.  

“I will.”  

Kelley makes her way towards the back of the bus, taking a seat beside Emily.  

“Do you know what’s going on with Alex and Y/N?” She asks the blonde shrugging.

“Y/N just said she’s ignoring her.”  

Kelley hums, her brown orbs staring holes in the back of Alex’s head.  

She had no idea why Alex’s was ignoring you, but she intended to find out. 

************************************************************************

“What’s going on between you and Y/N?” Kelley asks that night when Alex makes her way into the room after taking a shower, the woman stiffening.  

“N-Nothing.” She says nonchalantly, refusing to look at the defender whose eyes narrow.  

“Emily said she tried to talk to you and that you ignored her.”  

Alex’s throat bobs, something her friend takes note of.  

“I-I just didn’t hear her.” She says, the excuse lame, even to her own ears.  

Kelley hums, eyeing the woman intently.  

“Well, it really upset her.” She comments, the thought of you being upset making her stomach lurch.  

“Oh, I didn’t realize.”  

Kelley hums, turning to her phone when it chimes, busying herself with whatever is on its screen.  

Alex turns away, her gaze falling to her lap.  

She knew it would be better for the both of you if you didn’t speak to one another at all.  

If you spoke again, the flirting would start back up and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that, not with the feelings currently stirring in her chest at just the thought of you.  

Alex takes a deep breath, laying back in bed, her head resting against the hotel’s pillows.  

She was convinced she was making the right decision, you deserved someone your own age, and that obviously wasn’t her. 

************************************************************************

Unfortunately for you, the remainder of your time spent together is much of the same, you attempting to speak to Alex, and Alex completely ignoring you.  

Needless to say, when you went home to Gotham FC, your tail was firmly trapped between your legs.  

“Come on kid, cheer up.” Kelley says as she slings an arm around your middle.

You whine.  

“I just don’t know what I did wrong.” You mumble sadly, Kelley frowning.  

“I don’t think you actually did anything wrong...” She sighs, running a hand down your back.  

“What do you mean?” You ask, your head cocked to the side, brows knitted in confusion.  

“Whatever is going on, it’s on her end, you didn’t do anything wrong.”  

Your eyes widen, a small smile ticking the corners of your mouth upward. 

“Really?” You whisper the older woman pulling you in and giving you a squeeze. 

“Really.” She says, her brown orbs widening at the sound of a whistle blowing. 

“That’s our queue.” She says as she darts across the field, twisting on her heels midway. 

“Just, don’t let it get to you, okay?” She smiles and you nod, jogging after her, hopeful that practice would take your mind off of the San Diego Wave captain.

************************************************************************

Your mind isn’t off of Alex Morgan long considering Gotham FC and San Diego Wave go head-to-head in a clash at Red Bull Arena soon after the international break.  

Much like she had during the Gold Cup, Alex refused to acknowledge your presence, avoiding you as much as possible, the only close contact you made with her being on the field.  

It’s only after the game that Alex approaches you, your heart stalling in your chest, the thought that the woman may acknowledge your presence making your heart race.  

That’s until she actually gets to you, her blue orbs darting to your Y/E/C’s before she turns away.  

“Good game.” She mumbles, refusing your outstretched hand and continuing to make her way around the field.  

You stay rooted in place, tears stinging your eyes as you watch Alex walk away.

Unbeknownst to you, Kelley O’Hara and Emily Sonnett had witnessed the exchange and needless to say, they were FAR from happy.  

“What the hell was that about?” Emily asks Kelley before jogging towards you, wrapping her arms around you from behind, pushing herself up on her tiptoes so her chin can rest on your shoulder.

“It’s okay.” She whispers in your ear, frowning when you turn in her hold, revealing the tears glistening in your Y/E/C eyes.  

Emily holds you tightly, shooting a glare over your shoulder at Alex when she catches her blue orbs. 

That’s not all she sees, however.  

She also sees Kelley stomping her way towards Alex, Alex’s eyes widening when she sees the look of anger on Kelley O’Hara’s face.  

“What’s-- 

“What’s your problem?” Kelley growls, the San Diego captain’s brows arching.  

“What do you mean?” She asks, dumbly and Kelley scoffs.  

“You know what I mean Jan, look at her.” She motions behind her at you, Emily’s arm wrapped tightly around your middle, the woman catching sight of the tears on your cheeks as the blonde guides you towards the benches, her hazel orbs narrowed as they meet Alex’s blues.  

“Do you even care about what you’re doing to her?” Kelley asks, Alex’s gaze falling to her feet, unable to look at the defender standing in front of her.  

“Of course I care.” She whispers and Kelley shakes her head.  

“It REALLY looks like it.” She growls, stepping closer to Alex, her voice dropping below a whisper.  

“The sooner you accept what you’re feeling for her, the sooner you’ll both be happy.”  

Alex’s head snaps upward, her eyes locking with Kelley’s.  

“I don’t have feelings for her.” She mumbles and Kelley scoffs, rolling her eyes.  

“That’s why you’re pushing her away, isn’t it?” She asks but gets no response.  

“You know, your age doesn’t matter.” She says, noting the bob of Alex’s throat.  

“It does Kel.” She mutters and Kelley rolls her eyes.  

“Yeah, only to you, no one else cares Al.” She shakes her head and Alex’s nostrils flare.  

“I’m a mom Kelley, I have more than just screwing around on my mind.”  

Kelley groans.  

“You do realize, it isn’t JUST about screwing around for her, right?” She asks, Alex’s brows knitting in confusion.  

Kelley pinches the bridge of her nose.  

“Her bravado is all an act Jan; she only acts that way because she’s afraid of facing her real feelings for you.”  She sighs deeply, watching as realization dawns on Alex’s face.  

It’s then that she spots you across the field, Charlie racing towards you, wrapping her tiny arms around your legs.  

Almost immediately, you lift her into the air with a small smile, giving her a playful spin, the little girl giggling wildly.  

“Oh.” Alex whispers, and Kelley snorts.  

“Yeah, oh.” She says with an annoyed eye roll.  

“Now, fix it.” She says before making her way towards the sidelines where her teammates have gathered.  

Alex turns back to you, her blue orbs catching your Y/E/C’s, the smile that graced your face shifting to a small frown as you slowly place Charlie on the ground and nod in Alex’s direction, the little girl sprinting towards her mother.  

It was in that moment, as you turned away from her, that she knew she had to fix it.

*********************************************************************** 

When you shuffled through your apartment that night, you were exhausted, not only from the physical exertion on the game, but emotionally as well.  

You never expected for Alex to ignore you directly to your face, but she did, and that fact made your heart ache.  

You still didn’t know what you did wrong, maybe you’d come off too strongly with your flirting?  

Maybe she’d finally realized that your bravado was only for show, used to mask your true feelings for the older woman. 

You flop down on your couch’s surface, your eyes fluttering shut, hopeful that sleep would take you momentarily.  

Just as you’re on the cusp of sleep, however, a light tapping makes your eyes flutter, open your brows furrowed in confusion.  

It isn’t long before the light taps repeat, and it’s then you realize that someone is knocking on your apartment door.  

You reluctantly leave your place on the couch before shuffling to the door and leaning against it.  

“Who is it?” You ask, your voice scratchy.  

You listen intently, a soft shuffling behind the door before a soft voice replies.  

“It’s Alex.”  

Silence envelopes the two of you before you slowly open the door, your brows furrowed as you peer through the crack, coming face to face with the woman who had been avoiding you for months.  

You pull the door the rest of the way open, your eyes studying Alex’s face intently, the woman shuffling nervously from foot to foot.  

“I’m sorry.” She suddenly blurts out, your eyes widening as Alex’s blue orbs remain focused on the floor. 

You find yourself taking a step to the side moments later, waving your arm, beckoning her to enter your apartment, something that she almost instantly does.  

Your throat bobs as you push the door shut behind her, your back to the older woman.  

You knew whatever was about to happen, there was no going back, but now you had no choice, you had to face Alex Morgan, you had to find out what was going on between the two of you.  

Your breath catches in your throat when a pair of arms wrap around you from behind, your heart racing when you feel Alex bury her face between your shoulder blades.  

You stiffen, unsure of what you should do, did you cover Alex’s hands with your own, or did you push her away? 

Subconsciously, your hands drift to Alex’s gently resting on top of hers, the woman sighing against your back.  

“I’m sorry I was so stupid.” She whispers, nuzzling against your back.  

Your heart swells in your chest, the feeling of her pressed against your back everything you’ve ever wanted and more.  

“Why did you ignore me...?” You ask, humming when Alex pushes her fingers between your own.  

“I was jealous.” She mumbles against your back, your brows furrowing as you turn in her hold.  

“Of what?” You ask, your hands finding their way to Alex’s waist.  

She shrugs, her breath hitching when you gently take her chin between your thumb and index finger.  

Her mouth opens and closes repeatedly before she sighs loudly.  

“Seeing you with Emily, I couldn’t help but think you deserved someone your own age.” She whispers and you shake your head, Alex’s breath hitching when you turn the tables, pressing her back against your apartment door.  

“I don’t want anyone my own age, I want you.” You whisper, Alex’s throat bobbing as her eyes dart from your Y/E/C orbs to your lips and back.  

Much to your surprise, she lunges forwards, her lips meeting yours in a tender, and long overdue kiss.  

You kiss back without hesitation, your palms resting on the wall on either side of Alex’s head as you kiss softly.  

Alex’s hands slip to the back of your neck, her fingers tangling in your hair as you kiss passionately.  

You’re unable to stop yourself from chuckling when you pull back, the woman pinned to the wall whining loudly as you bury your face in her neck, nuzzling her jawline.  

“Our first kiss and you’re already addicted.” You tease, earning an eye roll.  

“Shut up.” She mumbles before pulling you back in for another kiss.  

Eventually, you make your way to the couch, Alex’s pinned beneath you as you kiss softly, giggling loudly when you bury your face in her neck, peppering her flesh with kisses.  

You pull back reluctantly, your eyes locking with Alex’s bright blue orbs.  

She smiles softly when you lean in, kissing her lips over and over again until she starts laughing.  

It isn’t long before you’re lowering yourself on top of her, her legs spread as you rest your head against her chest, the woman drawing small patterns against your back.  

You nuzzle into the crook of her neck, your eyes fluttering shut as your heart rate slows, your earlier exhaustion making itself known.  

“What does this mean for us...?”  You slur, unable to fight your fluttering eyelids as they close.  

Alex hums, her lips parting to answer, that is until she realizes you’d drifted off. 

She holds you tightly to her chest, feeling you smile against her neck as you nuzzle closer.  

“It means I’m going to stop being such an idiot and worrying about what others think, and worry about what I want, and that’s you.” She turns her head, kissing your forehead before her own eyes flutter shut. 

Thankfully, Kelley had offered to keep Charlie for the night, meaning she could remain where she currently was, your body weight on top of her as you slept soundly in her arms. 

You were the first to wake the next morning, beaming when you realized that what had happened the following night wasn’t a dream, Alex Morgan was fast asleep beneath you, her arms wrapped tightly around you as she slept peacefully, a smile on her face.  

You hum, burying your face back in her neck as you fall back asleep, eager to see what the future held for you and Alex Morgan.  

[emersonfreepress]

help i'm alive

So! Long time, no see. 2023 was a whole goddamn lot lol

I don't have a demo update to share yet, but that's because I had to scrap nearly everything I managed to write during a very, very, very bad stint of writer's block last year. I hadn't even realized it had been a block like that until I went over my work so far last month and realized it was bad -- like, trust me; a slog to read that didn't even sound like me. It's been extremely frustrating but I've finally broken free of that and it's been easy and actually fun to write again for the first time in actual years. I just hate giving updates that have no actual news in them. And I really had nothing to share other than: I deleted thousands of words and feel so much better now 😅

Anyway, little about my demo plans have changed: I'm still putting out the Chapter 3 demos in Choicescript/on Dashingdon and then will be going dark to move things over to Twine. Where I am in the process right now is... feeling like 35% done with the overhauled version of this chapter and 50% done for the next demo update.

As far as asks, I'm... not really sure what to do?? I believe I've read them all (I love you guys), but so much time has passed since getting most of them that I'm not sure if it's, like... still pertinent??? To go back and answer them?? I suppose some of them like character asks could be, but all the nice messages of support -- that feels weird since I've practically ghosted this blog since August! Idk. Y'all tell me what to do with 'em and I'll do it. Maybe I should make a poll.

Uh... that's really all there is to say regarding the game! I've added some personal stuff after the cut, but if you're done here: Thanks for reading and sticking around. It means the world, for real.

So what has occupied my time all this time? Doctor, therapy, money, and friends. And improv! But especially the first two. There was a lot of non-writing related stuff fucking up my ability to focus and write, so hopefully with my mind and body both feeling a lot better, I can get back to being present and active with the game. I didn't realize how physically unwell I was until last year and it's been like... life-long issues I've been treating. It turns out it's not normal to feel exhausted enough to sleep at any given time, at all times, for your whole life! wow!!

I also uninstalled Tumblr from my phone back in February, so you could say I'm sort of generally focused on offline life. (And what an interesting coincidence that my writer's block dissipated shortly after that...) I also just moved!! The last two weekends have been so expensive and stressful -_- But I can't even compare the old place to the new. We're basically paying the same price for idek how much more space. The cats are so happy; which means the house humans get to be happy.

My schedule is finally freed up from constant medical shit (there was a 3-month stretch this winter with multiple doctor appointments literally every fucking week 🙃🙃🙃). My mental health is doing a lot better -- literally incomparably better compared to where I was this time last year. There's live comedy now (which I dabble in, to be clear lol), but I've finally found myself able to like... balance it all. The physical and creative energy that goes into it all, anyway. The lovely thing about improv is that you kinda just show up and do your thing -- it doesn't cut into my writing time so much as it costs energy. Unless I end up in this comedy debate show thing next month, which I am very excited to give up writing time for

So like... Life is life-ing and I'm just vibing. Or something? I'll be around.

Thank you all again so much for your interest, support, patience, and readership <3

[engie-ivy]

(Inspired by @wolfstarmicrofic 's Alternative Universes theme! A sort of combined Performer AU and College AU🙂)

1058 words

Sirius Black's emotional break-up songs are topping the charts all over the world. But hearing those songs everywhere he goes, Remus is about to reach his breaking point.

With His Song

Home is where the heart is,

But it's not the concrete, nor the stone,

Not the room you sit in,

But the smile that lights it up.

Not the bed you sleep in,

But the heartbeat besides your own.

Home is where the heart is,

But it's not necessarily a place,

Sometimes, it's tracing the scars on someone's hand,

Sometimes, it's counting the freckles on someone's face.

It's been so long,

Coming home to you,

And did you know,

I could easily move on?

But the truth is,

I just don't want to.

If home is where the heart is,

Then baby, could it be,

That your home is still with me?

Mary lets out a sigh that seems to be coming from somewhere deep inside of her. “My god, I'm going to listen to that song on repeat for the rest of the week,” and after a moment she adds “potentially the rest of my life.”

“Then you're gonna have to get some headphones,” Remus says. “Because I'm already getting sick of hearing it.”

Mary gasps and clutches her chest. “Blasphemy!”

Remus gives her an unimpressed look. “I don't think you're using that word right.”

“‘Irreverence toward something considered sacred or inviolable’,” Mary states unfazed. “So yes, the perfect description of you insulting Sirius Black's music.”

Emmeline nods emphatically.

Remus sighs. “I'm not saying it's a bad song,” he says. “Just that I'm getting tired of hearing it everywhere, all the time.”

Mary opens her mouth to retort, but Emmeline interjects.

“I do sort of relate. It has gotten a painful tinge to hear the song, now that I know I won't be seeing Sirius Black perform it live…”

“You didn't get tickets for his show?” Marlene asks.

“No,” Emmeline sighs miserably. “I'm on the waiting list. Number 329.”

“Not as bad as Hestia. She's number 1550 or something.”

Emmeline shrugs. “In the end, it makes no difference. 329 or 1550, neither one of us is going to the concert. I mean, 329 people will have to die, and I don't reckon I'd be that lucky…”

“Emmeline!” Lily scolds.

“Well, that's the only excuse for not going to a Sirius Black concert, literally being dead,” Mary says. “I'd actually skip my mum’s funeral if I could see him live.”

“Mary!”

“No, no, Lils,” Emmeline says. “You don't know Mary's mum. If Mary were to miss out on seeing Sirius Black for her funeral, she'd actually come back from the death to haunt her.”

Mary nods. “She's a huge fan. Not going to a Sirius Black concert would be disrespecting her memory.” She glances over at Remus. “She might have some things to say as well if she hears that my actual roommate has openly disrespected Sirius Black’s music.”

Remus sticks out his tongue. “Sue me.”

“As soon as they create a law that makes depreciating Sirius Black illegal, which they should, I will!”

“Anyhow,” Emmeline says. “I haven't heard Sirius Black's voice for almost five minutes and I'm getting withdrawal symptoms,” and she reaches out to put the record back on.

Remus gets up to his feet. “That's my cue to leave.”

“You don't have to, Remus,” Lily says quickly. “If you really don't want us to, we won't put on his music. We value your company more than listening to Sirius Black.”

“Says who? Ow!” Emmeline rubs her shin where Lily kicked her.

Remus smiles at Lily. “Thanks, Lils, but it's okay. I have a paper I need to work on anyway.”

The moment Remus closes the door to his bedroom, he lets out a sigh that seems to be coming from somewhere deep inside of him.

Then, almost without thinking, he takes out his phone and punches in the number by heart.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line sounds surprised and, dare Remus think, hopeful?

“You have to stop doing this,” Remus hears himself say. “No,” he then corrects himself. “You don't have to do anything. I'm asking you. Please stop doing this.”

“Remus, what are you talking about?” He seems to be walking away from something– A promo event? A fancy dinner? An exclusive party?– as Remus can hear the voices in the background grow softer. Remus feels a brief hint of satisfaction; no matter how big the event he's at, how important the people he's with, when Remus calls, he gets up and walks away to talk to him, but Remus quickly corrects himself, because it's not like that anymore.

“It's killing me,” Remus admits, pressing a hand against his forehead. “I understand, but… God, it's killing me.”

“Rem,” Sirius, because of course it's Sirius, says gently. “You're still not making much sense. What are you trying to say? Why are you suddenly calling me? Why… Why now?”

“Your latest releases,” Remus says, as he starts pacing the room, though he can barely take two steps before he reaches the opposite wall. It's rather telling of the difference between them, he can't help but think. Sirius undoubtedly in some grand building surrounded by dozens of people who would fall over themselves to cater to his every whim, and Remus hiding out in his eight square meter bedroom cluttered with textbooks and scribbled notes. “I get why you do it. I'm probably terribly biased,” he lets out a brief laugh. “But I think the songs you wrote when we were together, and even after we just broke up, are your best songs, so I get that you would want to release them, to share them with the world and show everyone once again just how bloody talented you are. And you have every right. They're your works, your creations. But gods, Sirius, I can't pretend anymore.”

“Pretend,” Sirius repeats, his voice almost a whisper, and Remus lets it all out.

“I can't pretend anymore that hearing those songs everywhere I go all the damn time doesn't make me want to die! That it doesn't just break me, to hear your voice sing those words, knowing what they once meant, and knowing that they don't mean that anymore! That you don't mean that anymore.”

“Remus,” Sirius interrupts sharply, and Remus immediately stops talking as Sirius speaks. “Do you really think I could sing those words like that, if I didn't still feel that way?”

And Remus’ breath catches in his throat.

[justarandompersononthehellsite]

So... @muffinlance wrote a really awesome story. I read a post from a point in time, though I truly do not remember when since it seems like I've been working on this project forever, saying that she gives blanket permission for people to print and bind the story into a book (I think there was an also addendum saying that they do not give permission to be sold, since selling fic is illegal). This fic has had total control over my whole brain since it was sent to me (@creatorofthemind I believe it was you, so thank you forever for tuning me into it) back during the days of like chapter six or seven.

So here I am now, sharing this amazing journey of my first ever bookbinding adventure. Further reading below.

So to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a fanfiction about Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) (animated show version, the LA show did not exist yet and we do not speak of the movie) being adopted by Hakoda, Father of Katara and Zuko. (This might have also been what kicked off the Give Zuko A Parent craze, but don't fact check me.)

Overall, the characters from the show stick very well to the cannon versions, but where MuffinLance really shines is in the rich backstories and fleshed out feeling of all the non cannon elements. Especially the background characters. I would argue that the writing in this peice of fanwork could easily rival the cannon show at many points of comparison.

Now that you have context, we can get into the actual process.

To start, I used this guide to figure out where to even begin, and fount the included resource list to also be quite helpful. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out where I found the template I used for the front matter and such, but it must be somewhere and I will link to it when I inevitably come across it again.

Then I began to typeset. This step took... a long time. I worked in chunks from about September of 2022 to late March of 2024. I would get a big section done, sometimes even the entire thing, but then find I hated the way I had done it and give up for months at a time. Such is the life of ADHD and flitting interest in projects I suppose.

And then finally, step one was done, and I was left with pages on a word document that look like this. (And do please let me know if you want the link to the document. It was so much work, and I would love to not be the only one to use it.)

Next step was printing out this beast. Ended up being about eight pages of front matter, and about 630 pages of body text.

That I printed wrong.

Twice.

Before finally getting it right. And then not getting a picture of it, because I finished at 4 am and had work at 7, and am also an idiot.

Then I simply stitched along, putting everything together into a beautiful text block.

And came up with a design for the cover.

Yes the glue did end up lumpy. Ignore it.

Yes I did have to sketch out the design onto a scraped page several times before I figured out what I was doing. Ignore that too.

The cover design does wrap around the entire cover. No I did not get a picture before I glued the thing down. See again: I'm an idiot. And just... massively impatient.

Finally, we get to the stage of gluing. Behold, my bookpress.

Of course, topped with Madam MuffinLances own actual professional-people book, Fox's Tounge and Kirin's Bone. It is Excelent. Here is the LINK so you can go and support this amazing author with the real-monies as well as the internet-kudos.

Then, once everything is glued together, one must give the book its "gilt" edges.

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Insert Your Name (12)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to part one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven!

Notes and TW: Last chapter! Side stories will follow. Thank you for sticking with this series for so long! This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-enjoyer @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe @chikitasmol @night-shadowblood-writes2 @haveneulalie @owodi

7:30 P.M. DD/MM/YYYY

I thought I knew the truth for a while—that this world existed inside a story. That this was a world which revolved around a nameless, faceless, flawless main character. This entire world around me existed to serve one purpose: to present trials to the main character until she eventually finds a happy ending with her one and only. This world was created for “(Y/N).”

I was Friend A. Friend A was never mentioned again after page two of that story.

It turns out that I was sort of wrong. This world is made for stories, from stories, and (Y/N) happened to be the main character at the time. Now that I’m the author, I made myself the main character.

You wrote “story” and “world” so much that they hardly look like real words anymore. The tip of your pen hovers over the first page of your journal. It’s your first time keeping one, and you aren’t certain how to proceed. What tone do you use? Should it be informal or professional? How long should each entry be? How detailed should you make it?

The trapdoor to the attic flips open. Floyd’s head pokes through it like a garden eel in the sand.

“Whatcha doin’ over there? Still lookin’ for that manuscript?”

You shake your head. The manuscript for (Y/N)’s story disappeared without a trace after your meeting with Hans. No matter how hard you searched, nothing turned up, so you could only assume he retrieved it.

“No use in looking for it. I’m starting on my journal.” The pen twirls in your hand. “I’m not really sure how I want to write it.”

He hoists himself up and saunters over to where you’re curled up at the window. He peers at your handwriting. Flippantly, he flops on the floor next to you and yawns.

“Who caaares. Write whatever ya feel like writin’. It’s not like the one before was any good.”

The previous author’s manuscript was riddled with inconsistencies, plot holes, and grammar mistakes. It wouldn’t be a massive problem. Hans would simply have to work harder to fill in the gaps.

“The previous one failed, though.”

“Then just don’t fail.” He grins up at you. “Easy, right?”

You pinch his nose, laughing when he swats at your hand.

“Easier said than done.” Despite that, his words ease the burden on your shoulders just a bit. You don’t need to overthink this. It’s your story, yours to tell however you’d like. “Thanks for the advice, though.”

“Sure, sure.” Your name rolls off his tongue dismissively. “You worry too much.”

You glance at him. “You’ve been calling me ‘Red Handfish’ recently, why’d you switch back to my name?”

The lamplight glints in Floyd’s eyes briefly, then he closes them. A lazy grin spreads on his lips.

“I was calling ya ‘Red Handfish’ ’cuz I was hopin’ you’d get your hands all red and bloody again.” A huff of air escapes him. “Shoulda been there when you beat up the security.”

“Typically, you’re supposed to not hope I’m beating up your men.”

“It’s fine. Not like Jade and I need much protectin’.” His voice quiets down to a mumble. “You’re enough for security or whatever.”

His voice trails off at the end. Soon, quiet snores fill the attic. Seeing that he isn’t planning on disrupting your writing, your attention returns to your journal. Following his advice might not be a bad idea.

My main priority was to break the curse on Mr. and Mrs. Leech. I thought I’d have to ask (Y/N) to reach out to Vil Schoenheit or write something in this journal, but it turns out I didn’t have to do anything. Hans went ahead and nudged the odds in my favour already. At least, I suspect he had a hand in it. But I’m never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I’ll happily accept that Walrus’s team and our own people have found a way to break the curse.

Azul was slightly disappointed that he didn’t manage to find a method on his own. He really wanted to put the twins in his debt, but I guess he’ll have to sulk. His specialty is potions, after all. Not curses. He’s also a little salty because this implies Vil Schoenheit is still more skilled than him on the subject of curses. His competitive nature never dies down when it comes to other competent people, even after all these years.

Anyway, the curse was undone three days ago. They’ve woken up perfectly stable and healthy, if a little tired. The twins have spent nearly every waking hour in their room. I’m glad they’re all looking much more lively.

Their parents wanted to go right back to work, but Jade and Floyd have been very insistent on making sure they rest. Right now, Jade and his parents have decided to split up the work equally, but Jade plans on eventually relinquishing his position as the temporary head of the Leech Mafia. He doesn’t want it back anytime soon. His parents might want him to keep observing their work, but I think he’ll take a long breather after the Carpenter Mafia dissolves. He says he wants to join a research lab on fungi. I’m sure he’ll enjoy himself there.

Speaking of Jade’s interests, Floyd owes him quite a bit for breaking his terrariums. You cast a glance at the twin dozing off on the floor. Jade’s been working him hard. Just as you’re about to pull a knitted blanket off the window seat and drape it over his torso, Jade climbs up to the attic.

“Ah, I thought I might find you two here.” He ignores your shushing motion, speaking nearly louder than his usual conversational volume. “Have you made any progress on that journal?”

“Keep it down, Floyd’s sleeping.”

“Oh? I suppose he is.” He smiles as though he’s entirely innocent. “Even though he should be running an errand on the west side of the city right now. Isn’t that so, my dear brother?”

Floyd stirs, brows furrowing as he grumbles. “Fuck off, man.”

“I’m afraid you’re late. Why don’t you head out? It wouldn’t do for you to procrastinate.” Jade leans over him, his shadow eclipsing Floyd’s face. The latter gripes some more before rolling away and hopping right through the trapdoor. His footsteps echo through the halls, eventually leading to the sound of the front door.

“He’s tired. You should let him rest.” You close your journal and set it beside you.

He kneels by your seat and rests his head on your knee. Gingerly, you reach out and comb your fingers through his hair. His entire body melts against the wall and your knee.

“I am also tired.” His eyelids drop halfway, a pitiable pout on his lips. “Much more so than he is, I’m sure.”

“And what? You want a gold medal for the Fatigue Olympics?” Despite your words, your other hand holds his jaw, thumb brushing over his cheek. “Come on, get off the floor. It can’t be comfortable.”

He sighs in contentment. “With the way you’re touching me, I have half a mind to stay where I am.”

You’ve come to realize that Jade acts this way when he’s looking for attention, and he only actively looks for attention from you. With a sigh escaping the smile on your lips, you ease his head off your knee and move your legs so that your feet touch the floor. He has the gall to look like a kicked puppy.

“You’re so dramatic.” You pat the cushioned space next to you. “Sit up here.”

It’s like his fatigue disappears as soon as you extend the invitation. He wastes no time in sitting next to you, his thigh pressing against yours. One of his hands reaches behind you. You feel it causing the cushions to shift under you as he uses it to support his weight. Strangely, it feels more intimate than if he had touched you directly. The knowledge that his arm is there creates a sense of security. Sturdy, safe, like the face of a cliff that has your back. He’ll never be a threat to you. You think back to what you once thought of people who trust Jade, and you wonder if you’re a fool, desperate, or if you have something on him.

It might not be so bad to be a fool once in a while.

You lean into his side and rest your head on his shoulder. A pause, followed by the light pressure of his cheek against your hair. His body is cool to the touch like always, and you find comfort in it.

“I’ll help you make new terrariums to replace the ones Floyd broke.”

“How kind of you.” The hand behind you lifts, only to find its place on your waist, securing you to his side. “In that case, I should consider what I’d like to grow in them. Lichen would decorate some surfaces well, but I doubt it would be possible.”

“Lichen?” You often see it back home near the shore. “Why not?”

“It cannot survive in a closed system like my terrariums.” His voice lowers to a soft, almost sweet tone. “It requires clean, fresh air, outside the confines of a box that I control. The charm of keeping a terrarium is that I control every factor within it, down to what lives or dies. But despite the fact that it eludes my grasp, I adore observing its beauty in the environment where it thrives.”

Somehow, you don’t think he’s talking about lichen anymore.

“Lichen grows on trees and rocks, right?” You think about the cliffside. Patches of pale green life covered the rocks where you met Jade. It brought a sort of earthy, rustic quality to the area. “It’s pretty. I think I’ve seen a few of your photos focusing on it.”

“Yes, it needs to be anchored to a sturdy surface.” He adjusts his grip on your waist. “Unassuming, allowing other elements of the scenery to shine, but charming and effective in its own right.”

You don’t want to ask if he’s referring to you. He’ll surely tease you for being self-absorbed. However, you are not so prideful as to not acknowledge what he’s trying to say.

“I sort of understand wanting to be anchored to something.” You place one hand over his. “It’s easier to let my guard down when there’s something that can protect my back.”

“Allow me to assist you with that.” He intertwines your fingers. “If you must be anchored to something, I’ll be more than happy to provide you with support forever, until you ask me to stop.”

“All this talk about ‘forever.’” A grin pulls at your lips. There’s no harm in teasing him once in a while. “It’s like you’re trying to marry me. What’s with that, huh?”

His entire body freezes. You lift your head from his shoulder, trying to look at his face.

“Jade? I was joking—”

He gently presses against your temple, his wrist blocking your eyes as he guides your head back down to his shoulder. What a letdown. This time, you really wanted to see his expression.

“Incidentally,” he says, “would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“You changed the topic way too abruptly.” Laughter bubbles in your throat. “I thought you were better at making conversation than that.”

“I’m inclined to disagree.” He doesn’t elaborate. “Are you free tomorrow evening? We can book a reservation for that restaurant you wanted to try.”

Usually, you wouldn’t turn it down. But . . .

“Sorry, I’ll be out with (Y/N) all day.” You’ve missed her. And after she called you in distress over losing the polaroids you took together, you promised to replace them with new ones. There’s so much you have yet to do with her. “Maybe the day after?”

Jade sighs loudly, as though he’s the most pitiful being in the world. Amidst teasing laughter, you close your journal and focus your attention on him. It’s alright to take your time writing it. Your story is a process that does not need to be rushed. It may only be a page at the moment, but one day, you’re sure this journal will fill with your experiences, plans, and thoughts. You will continue on living as your own person—not a side character or a main character in a grander scheme, but as yourself. To live as a human being with your unique experiences—that is your story.

[holylulusworld]

Roar & Giggle (6) - Back of his bike

Summary: He’s just the worst. Right?

Pairing: Biker!Bucky Barnes x Bookstoreowner!Reader

Warnings: love-struck Bucky, fluff

Roar & Giggle masterlist

Roar & Giggle (5)

You and Bucky want to take things slow. Little kisses here and soft touches there - and lots of cuddling. He tries to be a gentleman, while his cat is less subtle.

Alpine demands your full attention whenever you are around. He’s a cocky little furball. Just like his owner. 

“Alpine, don’t,” Bucky warns. The white furball jumped onto your lap the moment you sat down on the sofa at Bucky’s small office in the back of his shop. “That’s not your girlfriend!”

Your heart flutters at Bucky’s words. He called you his girlfriend, without realizing how much this means to you. “It’s fine,” you say, instead of jumping at Bucky to pepper kisses all over his face. “He just likes me, is all.”

“Oh,” Bucky steps closer to look his cat in your lap. “I like you too. Can I sleep in your lap too?” He grins when you giggle.

“If you play your cards right, Mr. Barnes,” you wink at Bucky. He chuckles and turns his attention back toward his paperwork, “You can always rest your head in my lap.”

“I’ll bribe you,” he grins. “How about I invite you for homemade dinner, ice cream, and a movie night.”

“This sounds great,” you say while watching Alpine get comfortable in your lap. He meows and rubs his face in your tummy. “Aw, you sweet boy. Look at you.” You coo, earning a grunt from Bucky.

“Punk, that’s my girl,” Bucky points to Alpine in your lap. “If you try to kiss her, we are no longer friends. Know your place.”

You pat the cat’s head. “Alpine, don’t listen to Bucky. Your daddy loves you too much. He’d never give up on you. Do you remember when he was searching for you? He was out of his mind and so worried.”

Alpine meows, as if the cat understood your words. 

“Not cool, doll,” Bucky huffs. “Do you love the cat more than me?” His eyes widen, and he gasps audibly. “I-I mean…”

You look at Bucky, smiling softly because he’s nervous as hell. The usually cocky and a little grumpy biker suddenly looks like a scared child.

“I like you a lot,” you hastily say to calm him. “Maybe even more. I haven’t decided yet.” You grin. “Your cat is a plus. Maybe I’ll stick around for the cute furball.”

Bucky cocks a brow. He searches your face, hums, and crosses his arms over his chest. “How about I lay it on thick and take you for a ride.”

“A ride on your bike?” you gasp. So far you weren’t brave enough to drive on Bucky’s bike. “I never rode a bike before.”

“You wouldn’t ride it, doll,” he grins. “You’d be my sweet passenger, and I’d take you for a ride.”

“Hmm…” you nod slowly. “Are you a careful driver? I don’t like people ignoring the speed limit. I don’t wanna end up as a roadkill.”

“I’ll be careful. Promised, Y/N.”

Smiling you look at Bucky. He expectantly looks at you, waiting for an answer. “I trust you Bucky. I’d be happy being your passenger.”

It feels like flying. 

Bucky keeps his promise and drives carefully, but your heart beats so fast you might pass out. Not because he drives too fast, but because being on the back of his bike, your arms wrapped tightly around him feels so intimate.

He drove out of town with you, only stopping when the wind got colder, and it started to rain. Now you are hiding in an old barn, rubbing your cold arms while you wait for the rain to stop.

“This was so cool,” your teeth chatter, but you excitedly look at his bike. “If only the weather was better. We could’ve driven to the end of the world.”

He chuckles at your enthusiasm. “We will drive for longer next time. Promised.” Bucky strips off his leather jacket to give it to you. “Here, it will keep you warm.”

You already feel warm when he helps you put his jacket on. It smells like him, and his warmth still clings to it. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, doll,” he runs his hands up and down your arms. “After the rain, we will drive back home and I’ll make you dinner.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah?” He murmurs. “What is it?”

“I love you,” you say before you can chicken out. “For a while…”

Bucky drops his hands from your arms to cup your face. “I love you too, Y/N.”

The End...

[sagesolsticewrites]

Kiss Me Once Again

Rosie takes you to his apartment for a proper date night away from his family.

Warnings: language, mature content (fingering, oral (m & f receiving), protected PinV penetration) (18+ MINORS DNI)

Word count: 3.4k 

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Masterlist | Read part 1 here! | Read part 2 here!

“Y/N, he’s here!” Jeanie calls through your bedroom door.

“Coming!” You call back, wincing as you nearly stab yourself trying to get your earring in.

The small pearl now securely fastened, you step back to take in your appearance in the mirror, scanning for any glaring issues.

Finding none— your favorite blue dress is wrinkle-free, your hair curled to perfection— you walk out into the living room, the click-clack of your kitten heels announcing your approach.

Rosie stops mid sentence as you enter, eyes wide.

“Wow, sweetheart,” he says softly, scanning you up and down as a smile stretches across his face, “You look gorgeous.”

You feel a flush spread across your cheeks at the compliment.

“Thank you, Robbie.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to stay for dinner, honey?” His mother asks from the kitchen.

“Ma, I’ve been over for dinner every day this week,” Rosie calls good-naturedly, throwing an arm over your shoulders to pull you close, “I haven’t gotten a chance to have a date night with my girl yet.”

“Well, if you need anything— especially for dinner— you know I’m right down the hall,” she reminds him, wiping her hands on her apron as she joins your little group in the living room. She meets your eyes for a moment, a teasing lilt to her voice as she adds “Goodness knows what passes for food in that bachelor pad of yours.”

“I do have food, Ma! Please, I’m a grown man,” he laughs.

“Alright, alright,” his mother says, throwing her hands up in surrender, “You two have fun, okay?”

“Not too much fun!” Jeanie singsongs from the couch.

“Bye Ma, bye Jeanie!” Rosie says, sticking his tongue out at his sister when Mrs. Rosenthal’s back is turned, grinning at you as he sees you try to hide your giggle.

Rosie guides you down the hall to his own apartment, unlocking the door as he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek.

“It’s not much, but…”

He trails off awkwardly as you enter, scanning over the fairly spacious, well-furnished apartment.

“It’s gorgeous, Robbie,” you gush, turning to take in every corner as he closes the door behind him.

You had never been in his apartment before. He had moved during law school and your own life had kept you so busy that time alone at his apartment was out of the question, never mind that your father and brother firmly disallowed it. Then came the Pearl Harbor attack, and your family and Robbie were off to enlist, and his apartment had just… sat here.

He grins, pretty blue eyes crinkling at the corners, “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says, letting you take it all in before guiding you over to the kitchen. He throws on a record as the two of you start on dinner, but he swiftly drags you away from where you’re chopping vegetables to twirl you around the kitchen, breathless laughter filling the room as he spins you around in his arms.

What was supposed to be a quick meatloaf turns into an hour of dancing with occasional breaks to cook… and then you end up having to start all over after it ends up burnt.

“Don’t tell Ma,” Rosie pleads as he sheepishly dumps it into the trash, “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” you giggle, pecking his lips as you rummage through his fridge. Luckily, he’d bought far too much for just one meal.

The second attempt goes far better— still plenty of dancing around the kitchen, but you remember to set a timer this time.

Rosie cheers as you pull out the finished meatloaf, helping you plate it and settling on the couch.

You give him a funny look even as you sit next to him, eyes darting from the perfectly good dining table to the couch the two of you are currently sitting on.

“What?” He says, a cheeky grin lighting up his face, “I got used to having you next to me,” referencing your usual seats at Mrs. Rosenthal’s table.

You shake your head, laughing as you lean into him, soft jazz filling the room alongside your soft conversation.

Soon dinner is done— dessert, too— and the two of you have returned to your positions cuddled up on the couch in the living room.

You’re in the middle of a story about one of your coworkers when the familiar feeling of Rosie’s fingers tracing lightly over your thigh makes you pause.

“Well?” He prompts, bright blue eyes wide and curious.

“W-What?”

His brow furrows.

“What happened next?” He asks, the genuine interest in his tone laced with a teasing lilt, “Did she get in trouble?”

“I-I, um…”

He looks at you expectantly, fingers still tracing patterns over your dress.

You eventually remember how to speak.

“She, uh, got a verbal reprimand from our supervisor, but for now she still has a job—”

As you speak, his fingers move under your dress to the inside of your thigh, stopping when you stop talking.

Oh. So that’s what this was.

Cheeky bastard.

“Robbie, please,” you whine softly, attempting to squirm against his fingers.

You stop at the look he gives you however, before it fades into an innocent grin.

“Please what, honey? I’m not doing anything.” He purrs.

You groan internally, begrudgingly continuing to tell him how your coworker was stuck working in the coat check until she could be trusted not to flirt with the customers, if it would only get him to touch you faster.

“— and then her b-boyfriend stopped by— oh, Robbie,” you moan as his fingers finally begin tracing gently over your underwear.

He freezes, and your fingers dig into the cushion you’re sitting on, desperation clouding your mind. If he would just touch you—

“Finish. The story.”

Resisting the urge to buck up into his hand, you haltingly continue the story— her boyfriend walked in and flipped out that his girl was working coat check and didn’t they know who he was, how dare they, etcetera etcetera, concluding with having to break the news that she was flirting regularly with customers and him unceremoniously breaking up with her on the spot— your voice getting faster and more desperate as he circles his fingers around you over your underwear.

“Wait, he broke up with her right there in front of everyone?” He asks, pausing momentarily.

His name escapes your mouth in a half-sob, half-groan. You did what he asked, why wouldn’t he just—

“I’m sorry, honey, I’m sorry,” he says, gently pushing your underwear aside to drag his fingertips through your folds, “That better?”

You only just manage a nod, wriggling as you try to get closer to him, to get his fingers deeper.

His touch remains frustratingly light, however, and he tuts, pulling away slightly.

“Be patient, honey,” he murmurs, brushing a light kiss to your lips, “Lemme take my time. I didn’t get to last time, did I?”

Heat floods your cheeks at the memory of your midnight rendezvous the day he returned home, of trying desperately to be quick and quiet so as not to disturb his family sleeping just down the hall.

But now…

Now his family was in the apartment at the other end of the hall. Well out of earshot.

Rosie grins as he sees the realization dawn on you.

“Now will you be good for me, honey?”

“Yes,” you breathe, and he captures your lips in a heated kiss, his fingers returning to drag teasingly through your folds. You whimper, but try to keep from squirming as best you can, the way his tongue slips into your mouth proving a welcome distraction.

He pulls away slightly, just enough that your noses brush as his darkened blue eyes meet your gaze. You’re about to lean in to connect your lips once more when he slowly slips a finger inside you.

“Rosie—” you gasp, eyes fluttering shut as he pumps slowly in and out of you before adding a second finger.

“Feel good, sweetheart?”

All you can manage is a nod, feeling yourself melt as he quickens his pace.

“You don’t have to be quiet here, remember?” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your jaw as his thumb drags along where you’ve clamped down on your bottom lip to stifle your moans, “C’mon, honey, lemme hear my girl—”

His fingers brush a soft, spongy spot inside you as his thumb brushes against your clit, and suddenly you’re coming all over his hand with a cry.

Rosie swears softly, eyes wide.

You flush, ready to stammer out an apology as you come down from your high, but Rosie looks utterly enraptured.

“I can’t wait,” he says lowly, gently pulling his soaked fingers out of you, “to see how many times I can make you do that.”

A thrill runs up your spine at his tone, watching rapt as he cleans his fingers of your release.

“I think,” he says after a moment, scanning you up and down, “that you are wearing entirely too many clothes, my love.”

He captures your lips once more, and you groan into his mouth, letting out a giggle as you feel him fumble slightly with the buttons of your dress.

“Need help?”

“Nah, I got it honey.” He murmurs breathlessly, managing to get one, two, three, buttons undone. “Makin’ me work for it, huh?” He chuckles against your lips.

“Well where’s the fun in just letting you take my clothes off?” You laugh, your giggles quickly smothered by his lips once more as he finally gets the last button undone.

You wriggle out of your dress, keeping your lips connected as it’s tossed to a corner of the couch. His hands wander over your bare skin, pulling away to rake his gaze over your body.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, fingers grazing over the edge of your brassiere.

You let out a sigh as he brushes kisses along your jaw, moving down to mouth at the tender skin of your neck. You bury your fingers in his soft curls, Rosie groaning against you as your nails rake along his scalp.

He takes his time with your neck, kissing and sucking and nibbling until your skin is a watercolor of red and purple marks that you’ll need to take pains to hide for the next several days.

“Robbie,” you whine through the haze of pleasure fogging your mind; you can only imagine what your neck looks like after his handiwork, “There’s no way I have enough makeup to cover all this up—”

“I’ll buy you more,” he murmurs distractedly, and you quickly forget your worries as he begins sucking another dark spot onto your skin, his mustache brushing deliciously against the sensitive marks surrounding it.

Marks scattered over your neck and collarbone to his satisfaction, he migrates south, allowing his lips to skim over the tops of your breasts. He unhooks your bra with ease, tossing it over to join your dress in the corner as he drags his hands reverently over you.

A sigh escapes you, your eyes fluttering shut as he mouths over your breasts.

“You’re so soft,” he sighs against you. Butterflies stir to life in your belly at the feeling, breath hitching as your gazes meet as he takes your nipple into his mouth.

“Oh,” you gasp as his tongue swirls around you, his hand cupping your breast as he toys with your other nipple simultaneously, “Oh, Rosie—”

He hums against you before switching sides, making you tighten your grip on his curls at the feeling as he slowly works his way down your body.

You melt against the cushions as his mouth drags down your stomach, skimming along the waistband of your underwear.

“Can I, honey?” He murmurs against you, blue eyes blazing as he meets your gaze, “Wanna taste you, sweet girl.”

A broken moan escapes you, brushing back a stray curl from Rosie’s forehead as you nod frantically.

But he doesn’t move, just keeps those fiery blue eyes locked on yours as he murmurs lowly, “Wanna hear you say it, honey.” Your mind turns to static as he drags his mouth over your underwear, a teasing glint in his eyes as he adds, “Say please.”

Even more heat pools between your thighs at his tone, a whimper escaping you as you ramble “Please, please Robbie, I want you, please—” 

With a groan, he rids you of your panties, licking an eager stripe up through your folds. Your hips make a valiant attempt to buck against him, but a hand splayed across your pelvis keeps you firmly in place as he buries his tongue inside you.

An obscene noise escapes you as his thumb comes up to gently circle your clit, fingers white-knuckling his curls. 

“Oh fuck, Robbie—”

He hums against you, the vibrations sending delicious shivers throughout your body.

“You taste so fucking good, sweetheart,” he groans softly, licking deep through your folds.

Your whines and gasps join the muffled groans and soft squelches filling the room as Rosie takes his time taking you apart with his tongue.

“Robbie,” you gasp softly, shakily, as the tension builds within you with each stroke of his tongue. “Robbie, ‘m gonna—”

A high-pitched whine escapes you as his thumb quickens its pace around your clit and you feel his lips moving rapidly against you, his voice barely audible from between your legs as filthy praise and encouragement spills from his mouth.

With a cry, you reach your second orgasm of the night, legs shaking as Rosie eagerly laps up your release with a groan.

Your heart stutters in your chest at the look he gives you from between your legs, eyes sparkling and mouth glistening.

“Fuck, you’re perfect, pretty girl,” he mumbles as he kisses his way back up your body. Your breath catches as he captures your lips with his once more, a shiver running through you at the taste of yourself on his tongue.

“Your turn, honey,” you murmur against his lips, and he has just a moment to pull back, looking confused, before you slowly begin unbuttoning his shirt.

His pretty eyes flutter shut as you scatter kisses down his jaw to his neck, his button down and undershirt joining the growing pile of clothes in the corner of the couch.

Your gaze and your hands drag down his body reverently, fingers tracing the silver chain draped around his neck, thumb running over his name stamped on the tags dangling in the middle of his chest.

Rosie still has a bit of a glazed look to his eyes from your ministrations to his neck— pretty purple marks scattered over his skin matching yours— but his gaze snaps down to meet yours as your fingers hook onto the chain and pull him towards you for a kiss.

His lips move greedily against yours, your hands wandering over his body as he hovers over you.

“Honey, I—” he gasps once you break for air, lips brushing yours, his mustache tickling the skin above your top lip. “Bedroom? Please?” He breathes, and you’re unable to hide your eager grin as you breathe a “Yes, please,” in reply.

He clambers off of you and pulls you down the hall to what must be his bedroom. You barely have time to take in the dark blue duvet draped over the bed, covering fluffy pillows, before his hands are gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him.

He dips to capture your lips in a fierce kiss, your hands drifting down his torso to fumble with his belt. You can feel him grinning into the kiss as you swiftly remove it, moving to press kisses down his neck, his chest, his breath hitching with each press of your lips going lower and lower.

He gasps your name as you kneel down, lips skimming along his waistband as you make quick work of his slacks.

“I— fuck, sweetheart, please—” He sighs, a groan escaping him as you palm him through his boxers.

“Be patient, Robbie,” you tease him with the words he’d used earlier, “I didn’t get to do this last time, did I?”

His only response is a soft curse as you brush a kiss through his boxers before freeing his length. A strangled moan escapes him as your thumb swipes over the head of his cock, gathering the beads of moisture collected there before pumping up and down the length of him.

His pretty blue eyes flutter shut, his hand moving to stroke your hair as you press hot, open-mouthed kisses down his shaft, tongue swirling teasingly around his tip before taking him in, your hand pumping around what you can’t fit in your mouth.

His grip on your hair tightens, a strangled gasp falling from his lips as you take him deeper. His moans fill the room as you bob up and down, strained curses tumbling from his lips as you hum around him, looking up through your lashes at the way his head is thrown back, exposing his pretty neck covered with your marks.

“Fuck— shit, sweetheart, hold on,” he pants, tugging gently at your roots until you pull away, breathing heavily. “Almost got carried away and we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet,” he says breathlessly as he pulls you up to standing.

The moan that you let out at the heated look — the pure unfiltered want in his eyes — is stifled by his lips crashing to yours. He walks you backwards until your knees hit the bed, keeping your lips connected as he gently lays you down. He reluctantly breaks the kiss and takes the time to rummage in his nightstand for one of Douglass’s parting gifts, rolling the condom on before climbing to hover over you.

His hands trace reverently along the curves and lines of your body, a soft sigh leaving your lips at the feeling of his calloused fingers on your skin. Rosie pulls away to gaze into your eyes as he lines up at your entrance, your soft please all he needs to slowly press into you.

“Oh God, Robbie—” you moan at the stretch, his breath hitching as your nails dig into his skin.

He hisses out a curse at the feeling, slowly pulling out and thrusting back into you.

It takes him almost no time at all to find the rhythm you like, the one that has you desperately muffling your moans in his neck as he drives into you, that has his nails raking deliciously down his back.

“None of that, Y/N,” he pants, nudging you until you pull back from his neck, “I wanna hear you, honey, wanna hear every sound, c’mon.”

His hips snap determinedly against yours, drawing out a cry of his name as his darkened eyes meet yours, a groan escaping him at each loud moan you let out.

“Just like that, sweetheart,” he gasps, groaning at the feeling of you clenching around him, “Fuck you’re perfect, honey—”

Your whines reach a fever pitch as his thrusts speed up, and before you know it your orgasm is crashing over you like a tidal wave, Rosie’s name falling from your lips in a cry.

A soft curse escapes him at the ecstasy on your face, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he follows suit, spilling into the condom with a shaky moan.

Catching your breath, Rosie drops a sweet kiss to your nose as your eyes meet.

“Sweetheart,” he says breathlessly, “That was…”

“I know,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a curl out of his eyes as you continue softly, “It was perfect.”

His eyes scan over your face tenderly, leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss as he slowly pulls out of you, discreetly disposing of the condom in a nearby trash can.

“I’ll be right back sweetheart,” he says with a brush of his lips to your forehead as he slips out of the room, returning with a damp washcloth. He helps clean you up, brushing a kiss to your cheek in apology when you let out a soft hiss at the feeling of the cloth on your still-sensitive core, and soon he’s curling up in his bed, pulling you securely into his arms.

You feel yourself utterly melt into his touch, resting your head on his chest and smiling softly up at him as you fiddle with his dog tags.

“I love you, Robbie,” you whisper, brushing a kiss to his chest, right where his heart is.

He cups your face tenderly, thumb stroking along your cheekbone.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

It’s the last thing you hear before your heavy eyelids flutter shut, his heartbeat a soft lullaby as you drift off to sleep.

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt. 69)

(Sneek Peek)(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The pack meet with moonbyul to discuss terms.

Tags: Violence, Angst with the happy ending on the horizon, fluff if you squint, Yoongi gets really really angry and kinda triggers the, allusions to past abuse, Blood, manipulative behavior, trans! tae, Transphobia,

W/c: 11.0k

A/n: woooooo we're finally here!! can you belive it???? this chapter may feel like an ending in a sense because it is an end of all the mafia parts. truly- after this chapter we won't see any more violence or blood or anything close to the last 6. it's all happy endings from here <3 Thank you for sticking with it!

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

Sneek Peek:

Yoongi waits for everyone to buckle their seat belt but you don’t, frozen watching him in the window, the rearview mirror when he gets into the front seat. Yoongi doesn’t even get around to starting the car, sliding the key home but the beep goes once, twice, and then a third time because you don't have your seatbelt buckled. The others wait in silence. 

“Yoongi-“

“Fuck!” The curse is loud and perfunctory. He kicks open his door again with a stream of spat explicative. Slamming it shut this time. The others don't say anything, completely silent in the face of his anger.

Yoongi doesn't get angry. You've never seen him like this before. 

He wrenches your door open and for a horrible moment, you think he's going to yank you out of it and tell you to get lost. 

Yoongi's murmuring things to himself, so low that you almost can't make out what he's saying as he pushes himself into the back seat. The backseat of the Lambo isn’t that large. Hardly big enough to fit two people let alone four. Jungkook lets out a belated “Hey!” but Hoseok just reaches around him and unlocks the door for him to get out. Jimin is already out of the passenger seat and heading in the direction of the driver's side as Yoongi scrambles with your seat belt, jerking it over your shoulder and slamming it home.

"-Fucking asshole- of all the stupid omegas in the world I had to be mated to the fucking- dumbest- little- fucking-" The belt digs into your shoulder extra tight and Jimin starts the car wordlessly. 

You're closed in on both sides by him and Hobi on the other. 

They switch and shuffle. Jimin pulls away from the train station, gentler this time but still faster and with more finesse than you'd do it. Yoongi is still looking at you, glaring, tears in his eyes with wet cheeks, his voice low and uncompromising. 

“Give me your phone.” 

“My what?”

“Your. Phone. You used it to call her didn’t you?” You nod after a second, slowly pulling it from your sweatshirt pocket and handing it over. 

Yoongi takes your phone and breaks it over his thigh.

It’s a bit impressive really- the show of strength. He brings it down once and the screen breaks, winking out like a shooting star. Another and it bends just a little, a third time- and it’s practically at a right angle. It breaks so easily in the face of adrenaline and anger and fear. 

You make a small noise, not a whimper but a descending sound. Yoongi raises his eyebrows at you, wild. Like he’ll break even further if you complain. Hoseok’s not sure he’s ever seen Yoongi this broken. Never.

"Just- There were pictures of Noodle and Tae on there.”

Fear and anger are an intoxicating mix to anyone- let alone someone who almost lost their person. He goes at your phone until its jagged edge bites into his hand drawing blood. Then he tosses both pieces of your phone onto the floor of the car like they're paperweights. 

One of the pieces hits your shoe with a small metal clink, and even hobi looks down in surprise at the sound. 

Yoongi laughs and then bends over. yanking the gun out of your boot. Small, shoved there. Hoseok didn’t notice. He's not sure why it surprises him- that you'd be armed. You're not an idiot, you know the risks, and you were armed the last time that you tried to run away.  

He holds it out to you, long fingers wrapped around the barrel pointed at his chest. The handle facing you, the barrel of the gun level with his heart.

“You want to do the honors sweetheart?”

Coming Saturday April 27th At 5pm EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below)

[seababehh]

at the end of the day. || chris sturniolo x f!best friend!reader

Hi ya’ll!! I’m back. I finally got time to write - and I definitely am writing about chris this time. Because damn; this man could really suffocate me and I’d say thank you.

This is based off the song End of The Day by One Direction because let’s be honest, that song is a banger and is currently stuck in my brain.

-

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo x F!Best Friend Reader

Requested: Yes (send me more i love these ideas.)

Warnings: Angst, fluff all the good stuff. Chris being a jealous asshat, doesn’t know how to communicate. A lot of swearing and arguing! Crying! I made this heartachey because I felt like it. Sorry guys. but don’t worry, there’s some good stuff at the end, let me know if you want me to make it a part 2 with some smut. Best Friendsss to lovers Core!

——

I had awoken with sleep crusted eyes, my mouth dry and the light outside had proven it to be late afternoon. My eyelids themselves were puffy from lack of sleep, and I groaned as I dragged a hand over my face. It was the day I was supposed to hang out with my best friends -Matt, Nick and Chris. They had just gotten back from tour, and we decided today was the day we celebrated Chris for winning the tour and the boys other accomplishments.

I rubbed my eyes, rolling over the side of my bed and grabbing my phone. I replied to a few messages - letting them go through and making my way to the bathroom. Something felt different about today, my body couldn’t decide if it was a good different or bad different. I shook my head - wondering into the shower. I turned the tap on, letting the hot water run and steam up the room.

While under the hot stream of water, I had let my thoughts run as fast as the droplets against my skin. As usual, every individual thought that entered my brain had always landed back to Chris. My sweet boy, he was honestly my world, my best friend, my everything. That’s what they were supposed to be when you were in love with someone right?

Wrong, because it was only me who had this thoughts. This horrible feeling crept up from my chest, knowing I’m only hurting myself by being hopelessly in love with someone who would never love me back.The feeling pained, like an extreme pressure was put on my chest and I was about to combust. I sighed, holding my hands up against my chest and leaned against the wall as my hair began to stick to my body.

—

“(Y/n)!” I heard the familiar voice scream as I walked up the driveway to the Sturniolo Household. Chris had whipped open the door, immediately running over to me with his arms wide and open. I looked at his fluffy hair bouncing under his beanie, the blue eyes that just made me want to scream and that wide grin that was so infectious it started to make mine widen. That familiar ugly feeling of heartbreak had crawled back into my chest, but I squashed it down as I opened up my arms for a welcoming hug.

Chris had picked up up by the waist, spinning me around as I held onto his shoulders for dear life. I shoved my have in between his neck and shoulders and somehow my arm as my legs began to swim out behind me. “Chris!” I mumbled into the skin, the vibration of my voice obviously sending a tickling sensation down his neck, causing him to loose balance. My eyes widened as we toppled to the grass beside us, a loud laugh leaving both our mouths as we looked at each other. We landed on our backs, breathless but happy. “I missed you.” He said, looking at me with those blue eyes, a pinkie reaching to touch mine as we laid on the grass. This is always what it was, the sweet comments, the flirty looks, the soft touches. Sometimes I had a hope that maybe something was reciprocated.

We danced on that line many times - everyone always assuming that we were just supposed to be together. I had a glimmer of hope appear, looking at his gorgeous face. His smile never left as he huffed against the floor. That horrible feeling came back, and before I could hurt myself anymore I looked up at the sky before jumping up and offering him my hand. “C’mon pretty boy, don’t get all sappy on me now.”

Deny, avoid, leave it. He’s not yours. Those are the words that repeated through my head

He smiled at me with a slight tinge on his cheeks, placing his hand in mind and shoving me slightly, racing to the door.

-

We were all in the study slash office room of the house where we were all hanging out. Matt had sat on the chairs with Nick, shouting and screaming at the game they were playing while Chris and I were watching tiktok’s off my phone on the couch. I had sat next to him, leaning into his side with my legs folded over his and his arm behind me on the couch.

I started laughing at one of the videos that had come up on my for you page, looking up to see if Chris had watched it. He smiled down at me, and it almost made me winded. I hadn’t realized we were so close, and I tried to get my breathing back to normal. He had played with the ends of my hair as we watched, my face burning from the closeness.

I scrolled, an edit of Chris had come up, and without thinking I automatically liked it. “Did you just like the edit of me?” He whispered in my ear, making me shriek in surprise. I almost threw my phone, “I have no idea what you are talking about!” I laughed, trying to block his view from the phone. He struggled over me and quickly took my phone from my grasp. I screamed, climbing back over him to reach for my phone. I had eventually laid myself flat on my stomach across Chris’s lap, and I felt the blush worsen. His hand rested casually on my lower back; dangerously close to my ass. He casually dipped his hand onto the skin under my hoodie and started tracing circles with his fingers. I put my face in my hands and groaned, knowing now that he was comfortable - he was not going to let me move.

-

Eventually - after a few hours of lounging around the living room with the triplets, Nick had the idea that we should go out and actually celebrate. There was an influencer party that we had all been invited too - the only problem being I was in a Fresh Love hoodie and some leggings. “Nick, I don’t know about you but i’m not going like this.” I laughed. I was squeezed between Matt and Chris; my legs over Chris’s and a pillow lodged between Matt and I. Matt smiled over at me, “But dressing like a hobo is the new in, don’t you know?” I rolled my eyes, slapping his arm as we all laughed.

“Why don’t you guys get ready, i’ll go home quick and change and then you guys can fetch me since you coming past me anyway?” I stood up from the couch, Chris quickly following with a friendly pinch on the bottom of my thigh as he stood up.

I blushed at the contact. I waved by to his two clones and Chris followed me out the door. I climbed into the drivers seat of my car, leaving the door open as he decided to invade my space. He stood against the door, crouching down to talk to me properly. “What are you planning on wearing tonight ma?” He smiled, a ghost of a smirk on his face. He reached up and pushed my hair out my face and behind my ear, causing my skin to flush. “You’ll see later - now shoo! I need to go.” I pushed him away and he laughed, leaning down and kissing my cheek before closing my door for me.

I almost wanted to break out and scream - it’s me! I’ve wanted to kiss you since we were 16! Can you fucking see me dying right now! As I watched him stand and look at my car driving away.

-

I stood in front of the mirror at the corner of the bedroom, adjusting my outfit as it clings to my body. I had black leather pants on, and a dark burgundy lace halter neck as a top. I had my white platform converse tied with cute bows on my feet and my hair was cascading down my back.

I felt cute, and I also knew I felt good enough to get drunk tonight. My thoughts, once again, had reverted back to Chris. I wondered what was he wearing tonight, no doubt he’d look as good as always. I applied the last of my lipgloss on, before hearing hooting outside. I heard the holler of Nicks voice before I even got to my door. I laughed, locking with my keys and heading over to the backseat of the minivan.

“Hey guys,” I said with a smile, climbing in. Nick immediately hugged my from my side, making me laugh and complain about my hair. Matt had smiled at me from the rear view mirror and Chris had turned almost 180 degrees in his seat to make some noise. I smiled, ignoring the guilty feeling of loving the boy and letting it stay at the house as we drove away.

—

By 11, the party was probably at its peak. There were people everywhere, and for it being such a fancy apartment, the feeling was undeniable. Nick and I had chased a few shots, while Matt had stalked off and started talking to a few others of our friends. Nick and I had made our way to the kitchen, his hands stuffed in a bag of AirPopped popcorn while I had sat on the kitchen counter. My palms gripped the edge, while my legs swung out under me, my gaze zoned in on Chris. He had a pretty girl next to him - the body language far too intimate for it to be merely platonic. He leaned against the wall, but the little woman’s body had turned to face him completely.

Once again, that ugly feeling was back as I watched them - not ashamed at the stare. No, I wasn’t ashamed, because I’m almost 99% sure he knew what he was doing. He knew we played that game, he knew it. His blue gaze flickered to mine- and instead of looking away he gave me a smug smirk. I felt that little piece of heart in my chest crack. I forced myself to look away.

“Girl, I thought you were getting Mr World Wide Drunk with me tonight - not Lana Del Ray drunk.” Nick complained from my side as he saw the sour look on my face. I pointed at him with the almost empty red cup in my hand. “You-.” I chugged the rest of my drink, slamming it down on the marble kitchen counter next to me. “- are so fucking right! I need a new drink and then let’s go dance.” I hopped down from the counter, reaching over and creating a new concoction to force down my throat. Nick cheered, “Make me one too!”

After about 2 more drinks, Nick and I had made it to the dance floor. The song End of The Day by One Direction had come on- and I started screaming the lyrics. Sure, they were slurred - however I had seen Chris in my field of view on the dance floor; the girl with a tiny hot pink dress following him like a lost puppy. Nick had grabbed my hand - screaming the lyrics with me.

“All I know at the end of the day, is you love who you love, there ain’t no other way!”

As I was shouting the lyrics with the rest of the crowd, I locked in on Chris. It almost felt like time had stopped; and the background was blurring with all the people around me. The look on his face was indifferent. This was one thing that I loved and hated about the man, he was everywhere. That I could always rely on, but at the same time I couldn’t escape him. He was watching me, and suddenly the world started spinning a little too much. When I realized it was another man who had pulled me into his arms to dance, I smiled. He greeted me politely, and even had polite hand movements as he pulled me in to dance. He was actually kind of cute. I turned my head back and looked at Chris, whose face changed from a look of awe, to visible irritation with his arm now wrapped around the random girls shoulders. I rolled my eyes, now moving to place my hands on the new man’s shoulders, he wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t Chris.

The feeling in my chest was now simmering, an angry feeling this time. How can he have the fucking audacity to be irritated when he was doing the same fucking thing? I needed to stop being pushed over by his little antics. I looked up at the man dancing, and turned around as his hands followed my hips and their movements. I blamed it on the alcohol that made me feel so many things at once. Maybe I should’ve taken it as a distraction. That horrible feeling coming back, once again. I didn’t know weather to be angry, or finally happy that I’m getting attention from someone that wasn’t the brunette boy I was in love with.

He had smirked down at me, but I closed my eyes and leant my head against his shoulder as we continued to the rhythm. I felt his breath on the side of my neck, but before I could feel his lips, there was an audible crunch and suddenly, I was being ripped away from the moment. My eyes snapped open, watching Chris stand there with a bloody hand and the man I was dancing with had an even worse nose, and he was on the floor. The crowd around me gasped, watching with interest at the commotion.

I was beyond furious. My eyes snapped to Chris’ gaze, who was now heaving and slowly turned to me. If looked could kill - he would simply have died 12 times. He tried to come up to me, but I placed my hand up and walked through the crowd. He called my name multiple times, but with each cry from his mouth just made me want to move my legs a little faster.

I finally made it outside to the parking lot - Chris still hot on my heels. He reached for my elbow, but I whipped around. Angry and confusion flashing through me, as hard and rough as waves against a rocks during a storm. It consumed me at this point; everything coming out and finally coming to the surface. “Don’t you fucking dare!” I screamed at him, the fury that raged through me had my shaking as I pushed a finger against his chest.

His eyes widened - he had never seen me like this before; but I had finally had enough. “What do you think you’re doing Christopher?” I poked again, “What is this? You fucking go off with someone but as soon as I do it, it’s a fucking problem?” I shouted again. His blue eyes just stared at me. Wow, for once Chris Sturniolo didn’t have anything to say. “That was pathetic! Who are you to have the fucking audacity to punch someone I was dancing with, again? Because let’s admit it; it’s not the fucking first time!” I raised my hands in frustration and the slapped against my thighs as I dropped them.

The warmth from my was rising, my skin flushing from the emotions running from me. Tears started to prickle in my eyes. “I’m so fucking tired of it Chris.” I finally whispered, as my anger grew into sadness. I was so disappointed with myself, knowing I should be pissed. “(Y/N)- please. He was about to kiss your neck-.” He tried to explain himself, but I felt that rage again.

“And so Chris? What about it? I have been fucking in love with you for four years! Four Years Chris, we’ve been dancing this fucking line for so long, and I just have to keep quiet and deal with it when you get with other girls and dealing with your jealousy but fuck sakes - when are you going to come to your fucking senses and realize that it’s not just about you!” I rambled; pushing his shoulder.

“I can only take so much, you either want me or you don’t!”He looked at me, his blue eyes softened as he saw the fat tears fall down my cheeks. “I’ve been in love with you, and all the looks, and teasing and flirting and all this time I can’t do anything about it because you’re my best friend-.” I sobbed, but was quickly cut off with him placing his hands on my cheeks. “God, you’re stupid. I’m stupid, we’re both stupid.” He said, looking at me.

I got visibly upset, “Excuse me?” I said, sniffing. He placed one hand over my mouth. “Before you get all ridiculous, you’re stupid because it took you this long to realize I’m in love with you too. And i’m stupid because it took me a screaming match to tell you that i’ve been in love with you since we were kids.” He whispered, placing his forehead on mine.

My hands wrapped around his hoodie covered wrists. I pulled his hands away from my face, “You fucking asshole!” I screamed, but a playful smile had begun to take over my face, pushing him away further and further as a giggle started to leave my mouth.

“What? What now?” He smiled, pulling his arms to his body to protect himself from my soft hits and pushes. “You ruined that guys fucking nose for nothing! As well as my makeup might I add!” I crossed my arms.

Chris had rolled his eyes, before dodging one more hit and grabbing my face once again. Except, this time he had placed his lips on mine. He started to move his lips against mine; and a whole relief just flowed after me. I felt his tongue move against my lip, receiving entrance into my mouth. I let out a little whimper as he walked my back, and I was now pressed against the pillar of the car park.

“He fucking deserved it.” He mumbled against my lips, feeling his body pressed against mine; and his hands now rested on my hips. I ran my fingers into his hair, pulling slightly. Chris let out a pathetic whine, causing him to flush. He pulled away from my and looked down at me. “You’ve got a lot of making up to do pretty boy.” I scanned his face. His lip rolled under his teeth, and he nodded pathetically with a hint of pink dusted on his cheeks.

[morgana-larkin]

Ok, as requested, ending to yesterday’s fic, The Vendor, The Teacher and The Roses. And I would also like to thank everyone for putting up and liking my crazy fics, last night I hit 100 followers and I was surprised. 🫶🏻

I love dancing to music, it helps my brain relax and process thoughts, so you’ll likely see it pop up in my fics here and there. Ok, I’ll stop talking cause I know there was people who were wanting to know the ending. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

The Vendor, The Teacher and The Roses - Ending

Warnings: like one swear word, Mel singing and dancing 😍

Words: 1.14

She knows if she goes left to her place then that means she’s choosing Gary, and if she goes right that means she’s choosing you.

She then takes a few deep breaths and closes her eyes. She thinks about it for a good minute, weighing the pros and cons, she then turns her brain off and lets her heart decide. Then she opens her eyes again when she made her decision. She flicks the stick to put on her turn signal and turns.

Melisss is wondering the entire ride if she made the right decision. Should she have turned the other way or did she turn the right way? She drives the car in the driveway and gets out. She closes the door and locks the car then walks to the door, keys in hand. Once she gets to the door, she knocks on it and you open the door a few seconds later. She takes a look at you and sees you’ve been crying and her heart breaks a bit.

“Melissa?” you say quietly and she looks at you with a small smile

“Hi hon.” She says.

“Do I even want to know how you got into the building?” You ask her and her smile grew a bit.

“Someone who lives here was entering the same time I was and they let me in.” She says and you nod your head.

“What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“I saw your card, and the flowers.” She tells you and you widen your eyes.

“Melissa, you don’t have to say anything ok. It was a stupid idea and I know you’re with Gary and you love each other ok. I saw when you told each other.” You tell her and she thinks that that explains why the trash can was on the floor and why the flowers were thrown out right outside the break room.

“Y/n, why didn’t you tell me about your feelings before?” She asks and you look at your feet.

“Cause I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, because I value it so much. But then I saw you got mad from Gary ignoring you all day so I decided to go for it.” You tell her and she sighs.

“I should have realised it but I guess I was so blind.” She says and you look at her.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You tell her and she looks at you confused.

“Are you saying you want me to leave?” She asks and you tilt your head.

“Well the reason you came here, was it not to ask the questions you asked me already?”

“No, well, not the main reason.” She says. “I have feelings for you too. And I have feelings for Gary as well. When I got in my car I could have gone home or I could have come to see you. And I chose you.” She tells you and you step aside to let her in your apartment. She walks in and you both go sit on the couch.

“You have feelings for me?” You ask and she nods. “Well why didn’t you say anything?” You ask her and she looks at her lap.

“Well like you said, I’m with Gary. I thought my feelings for you might go away if I ignore them but they only grew.”

“What do you mean when you said you chose me?” You ask her.

“I mean if I went home then I would be choosing Gary, and I know I would lose you. If I came here then I would be choosing you and lose Gary.” She tells you. “And I can’t lose you.” She adds on and you look at her shocked.

“But you can lose Gary?” You ask her and she nods.

“He’s not as important as you.” She tells you and you look down at your fingers and twiddle your thumbs. Melissa takes your hand with hers and interlace your fingers and brings her other hand to your chin and gets you to look up at her. “I want to be with you.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek. She wipes the tear and cups your cheek.

“I want to be with you too.” You tell her and you lean forward to kiss her but she puts a hand to your lips to stop you and you open your eyes and look at her confused.

“Believe me, I want to kiss you badly too. But I need to break up with Gary first, I’ll do it tomorrow after school.” She says and you nod.

“Sorry, I got excited.” You say and blush.

“Hey don’t be sorry, like I said, I really want to kiss you too, but I’m not a cheater.” She said and you nod.

“Can we at least hug?” You ask and she giggles. She nods and holds her arms out, and you lean in and put your arms around her. You two stay in the hug for a few minutes.

You then open your eyes when Melissa starts humming a song and you pull away to look at her. “I found myself dreaming in silver and gold, like a scene from a movie that every broken heart knows.” She starts singing and stands up and pulls you with her, she starts walking to the middle of the living room. “We were walking on moonlight, and you pulled me close.” She continues and pulls you close to her then continues it and looks in your eyes. “Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone.” She starts swaying with you slowly. “I woke up in tears, with you by my side, a breath of relief and I realised.” She says and stops swaying to look at you. “No, we’re not promised tomorrow.” and she starts dancing with you as you both sing the chorus.

“So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you, I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye, wherever we’re standing, I won’t take you for granted, cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time, so I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you, I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you.” You end the dancing and singing and look at each other then put your foreheads together. She then pulls away and kisses your forehead.

“Do you want to come over to my place after I break up with Gary? I might need a kiss then.” She tells you and places a lock of hair behind your ear and you nod. She smiles at you then pulls away and leaves your place to go to her house.

You take a deep breath. What the fuck just happened? You think and you have a smile on your face for the rest of the evening.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

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Let me know if you want to be added!

[bettsfic]

Do you have any preferred notebooks? Anything better than Moleskine which I don't think would be hard (!!??)... The ink bleeding through to the page behind is so distracting. Random question but I figured you'd be perfect to ask!! Thank you

i've been waiting my entire tumblrlife for this, anon. stationery is one of my most persevering special interests.

just to caveat, i still use a moleskine for my personal journal, but i only write in it once or twice a month so they tend to last years. i bought my current journal in 2017 before enshittification and so i haven't had a problem with the paper. i use a felt-tip pen on it mostly, but even the few times i've tried fountain pens, i haven't had any bleed-through. it's really unfortunate they've gone downhill.

and i mean, for context, i beat the shit out of my moleskines. and look how they've held up!

the one on the left i used from 2011 to 2017. it went all around the world with me and i carried it everywhere for 6 years. i taped every stupid scrap of paper i came across into it and that's why it's so beefy. the elastic band has stretched too far is all; i need to find something sturdier to keep it shut.

the one on the right i started in 2017 and i'm about 2/3rds through it. i tape some stuff in but not as much as i used to. at one point it was in my backpack in the overhead compartment of a plane and some guy's water bottle spilled all over it. i was devastated. but it slurped that shit up and kept trucking. you can't even tell it's waterlogged anymore.

my mom bought me a special edition van gogh moleskine for my birthday last year that i was planning to use for my next journal. i just tested the paper against the 2017 journal using a kaweco sport bold tip, and the van gogh paper does indeed bleed significantly more than the 2017 paper. a real shame. i'm probably still going to use it though, because i've kept the proud tradition of "use notebooks people buy me for my birthday as my next journal" since i was 14. also, i'll probably end up starting it when i'm 37, the age van gogh died.

last august marked my 20th anniversary of my journaling habit, btw. i was going to write a newsletter about it but it started spiraling into a whole-ass book and i had to set it down.

a close and higher quality alternative to moleskine, much beloved by bullet journalers, is leuchtturm. their A5 hardcover is very similar to the classic moleskine pictured above. i don't use one because i have no use for lie-flat notebooks for anything other than a personal journal (which is covered for the next decade or so), but i love buying them as gifts.

my commonplace notebook is the A4 rhodia top spiral, which i've mentioned in my newsletter before. there is something truly magical about this notebook. when i bought it, i carried it around with me everywhere even though i had no idea what to write in it. i started commonplacing before i even knew what that was, simply because the tactile and aesthetic sensation of filling each page was so satisfying. i go through 1-2 per year.

this isn't a notebook proper, but my research binders are B5 maruman clartes with their corresponding loose leaf paper. again, like the rhodia A4 top spiral, the sensation of writing on the paper and organizing the binder is very satisfying and so it encourages me to take a lot of notes.

maruman also makes the famously amazing mnemosyne series of notebooks. i haven't used one before but i really like them, and as soon as i need a high quality top spiral notebook that the A4 rhodia can't fulfill, that's what i'll be moving to.

my purse notebook is a field notes reporter's notebook. these are new so they haven't stood the test of time the way the others have, but i love the size and the binding, and afaik field notes is one of the few american stationery brands that hasn't fallen prey to a quality drop in paper. i also love field notes classic pocket notebook but have never been able to make a pocket notebook habit stick. it took me a long time to realize tiny notebooks don't encourage me to write in them, because a lot of my notebooking is about the thrill and aesthetic pleasure of seeing an overwhelming amount of text on a page.

my planner is a hobonichi techo weeks, which is the same size as the reporter's notebook and also goes in my purse. this is my first year using a hobonichi planner and i really love it. like the others, its quality encourages me to use it. i've found hobonichi overall is a really good notebook brand.

my sketchbook (which i don't use very much) is a strathmore 500 series mixed media softcover. i bought it before i realized how deterring i find lie-flat books and i think i would be more motivated to draw by investing in one of their wirebound ones, even though all the artists i follow on youtube tell you not to do that. i keep meaning to change it into a collage notebook instead, i just haven't had the time or desk space to do it.

and an honorable mention: before the pandemic, back when i did things and went places, i used a grand voyageur traveler's notebook from paper republic. i'm actually very sad i don't have much of a use for it anymore, but maybe one day i'll do stuff again and return to it. it's weird that i don't see paper republic mentioned often (ever) in bujo spheres, when i think their products are better than traveler's company (although i haven't tested one for a significant period of time; people swear by them though).

hopefully one or two of these stand out to you!