#thank you for the ask anon🥰

[roguelov]

Hi ! know that it's a pleasure to hang out on your account, so I was thinking of a human reader who is rather flirtatious and sassy who sees a morpheus lying on a sofa thinking, and to destabilize him she dares to straddle him by correctly aligning the private parts?!😧 playing the innocent🙄, what a shame to sit on a endless/the king of nightmares...

No because you just bluescreened the poor Endless

Poor Dream sitting there trying to read or maybe just wanting some peace and here you come to disturb it. And the second - the fucking second - you straddle him and sit down he freezes. He will glance down to where you are sitting in his lap, then look up to you seeing your smug face.

“What are you doing,” he asks.

“Sitting,” you reply with that devious smirk.

“Why on me?”

“Why not?”

There will be a lot of back and forth but when you grind your hips a little, just to tease him a bit, he clenches his jaw. He will sit up wrap an arm around your waist pressing you to his chest. His lips will brush pay your ear and in a low warning tone whisper, “You are playing a dangerous game, little one. I would suggest you to move before you regret it.”

And all you have to do is just say two little words and he’s all yours.

“Make me.”

[goingxmissing]

I know like geographically it does not make any sense but I’m mashing up this costal village place I love with this highland town we used to visit in summers and getting a lando/Oscar summer au. I’m thinking about like bored, teenager Oscar who lives (?) in this tiny seaside town nd works in this old school slightly shitty arcade, fully planning on spending a sweltering summer in his glass box doling out change nd giving the machines the “turn it off nd back on” treatment before he meets city boy Lando who’s there for the summer and fucking bored out his tits with dodgy wifi & no signal. Lando latches onto him as one of the only people there over age 5 and under the age 40 nd spends ages chatting/flirting his way past Oscars deadpan, no interest but hiding a smile interactions until they get a conversation going.

Leads to Lando spending dayyss in the arcade, sometimes playing the penny drop machine but mostly leaning against the glass window chatting. (omg winning like a fucking friendship bracelet or necklace or really cliche koala key chain for Oscar who is like ?? Dude I stock the machines ((but at some point he wins/steals the matching one for Lando))

Ofc Lando has charmed every shopkeeper in the high-street (inc the dog in the sweetie shop) and they get so much freedom bc there is basically no way to get into trouble. I want a summer romance. Long days at the beach, seeing each other shirtless and doing the “boys will be boys” wresting in the (let’s still be realistic, freezing) sea, doing the “is he interested, is he gay???” internal panic. Walking the costal paths and wee lanes and forest paths, talking and laughing. Finally making out in the sand traps on the golf course (maybe they were cutting through and a greenkeeper saw them or they were sitting in the bunker drinking and got interrupted so had to dive on top of each other to hide and end up face to face, staring into each others eyes nd that’s when it happens) I want a love confession in a small, rusty kids play park at 10pm when they’re tipsy off cheap cider and it’s all summer hazy light. I actually want the whole thing in that summer evening light nd blurry sunny Polaroids. That’s the vibe (I’d say like a late 90s/early 00s setting but realistically most seaside towns still have that vibe anyway). ANYWAY that’s my Monday night thoughts ✨✨

OMG ANON 😍😍🥰🥰🧡🧡 I have to publish this because it's sooooo cute I am feeling the summer vibes so hard!

Oscar in his arcade glass box being slowly charmed by chatty/flirty Lando! The summer romance! The wrestling in the freezing cold sea! When I read out the part with the sand traps on the golf course @strawberry-daiquiris screamed! Tipsy off cheap cider 😭 I am going to think about this so long and hard thank you for blessing my inbox with this utter joy.

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

WAIT, HELP, WHY DON'T CHARLES AND MAX FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON INSTAGRAM? WHAT DID I MISS?

It all starts at the Red bull ring, better known as the temple of lestappen. It's where our boys shared the podium for the first time in F1 in 2019 and that race in particular is also the reason why they don't follow each other on social media lmao.

So our boys start 1-2, Charles in pole position starts well while Max has issues with his antistall that cause him to drop down to eighth after the first couple of turns. Max recovers and starts marching through the field. Around lap 23 Charles pits and Lewis takes the lead of the race but he damages his front wing by going wide and driving over a sausage kerb so he had to pit for a replacement and Max, then p2, inherited the lead. He then pits the following lap, handing the lead back to Charles and the stage is set for him to charge through Seb and Bottas to battle Charles for the win. And that's what happened with three laps to go, when Max managed to pass Charles. Now lap 69 - I'm not even kidding lmao - is where the drama happens, ofc Charles is going to fight Max for the win and Max is going to fight to hold onto the win, so Max takes a wide line through the corner on the inside of Charles, they do make contact and Charles leaves the track and drives over kerb as a result. Max holds onto the win and Charles is absolutely pissed.

Now these pictures are hilarious to look at when you think about how they were theree years later, the second time they shared the podium in Austria;

But yeah 2019, Charles pretty pissed and he felt Max should've gotten a penalty or something from the stewards but the stewards deemed it a legal move.

Now this is pivotal, not just in the story of Max and Charles, but in Charles' own story and career in formula 1. It's a turning point for him. He takes note of this situation and is very much like "well if he can do it, so can I" and "I'm just as good as him and I'm going to prove that to myself, to him and to the world" from then on out. He's more aggressive and takes more risks post Austria 2019, and he goes on to win in Spa and Monza that year. Max finishes in P3 in the championship, Charles finishes P4, just twelve points between them. They finish the year in Abu Dhabi with another podium, this time Max is in P2 and Charles is in P3.

During the media exchanges post race Austria 2019, Max is asked about Charles and gets "is this going to affect you two" type questions and Max is like "why wouldn't we be ok? we're going home on the same flight so*shrugs*". At some point post the race Charles unfollows Max on social media because until then, they had followed each other and it should be noted that Charles typically follows everyone on the grid with the exception of Max (+ Bottas, he likely unfollowed because of the bowling incident of the Hungarian gp 2021 lmao, Charles is many things, consistently petty included 😂😭). So they do share a flight home to Monaco, on Max's jet I'm pretty sure lmao, and it's just so funny to imagine a petty, pissed Charles sitting across from Max, who is most likely completely unaware about the unfollowing, and waiting for him to notice lmao. Max or whoever runs Max's account majority of the time, also unfollowed Charles in turn. They've tagged each other in posts over the years (such as Seb's leaving dinner) so they know the others @, and they like posts about the other, but neither has made the move to refollow the other on their public Instagrams which is funny and so petty and so annoying all at the same time lmfao. The follow button is too much for them lmao.

[greg-montgomery]

Obsessed with the idea of you dating Aaron (and you don’t work for the BAU). As your relationship naturally progresses, you take on a pretty big part in caring for Jack while Aaron is away.

Since you know that Aaron doesn’t always get to spend as much with you and Jack as he would like, you’ve taken it upon yourself to send him updates throughout the day. Pictures of the two do you at the park and little messages like “I think jack has been hanging around Morgan too much. When I asked him what he wanted for dinner he told me we should just to the store and see what the vibes are.” Along with a photo of what you ultimately did end up making for dinner that night.

Maybe you’ll even send him some photos of yourself. Little reminders about how much you love and miss him and you’re proud of him.

Aaron loves it. It improves his mood. Makes him a little lighter throughout the day. Because of the nature of his job and how often he’s out in the field, he can’t always respond right away. But the little messages, those little pieces of home are such a balm and comfort to the horrors he’s often subjected to in the day. When he does has a moment - while the team is eating or on the jet, he’ll catch up on all the little bits he missed. He often worries about missing out on jack’s life. Not just the big events like holidays and birthdays but also just the little stuff. Seeing his sense of humor evolve, finding out what he likes and dislikes, growing his own personality. So he loves the little bits he gets from you. It’s his daily affirmation that there’s more to life than just the sickness he sees all day long. Outside of being “hotch” and “unit chief” he’s also just Aaron. He’s a father to a sweet little boy that loves superheroes and soccer. He’s a boyfriend to a wonderful partner that he loves. it’s his little reminder that makes the hard days and the most grueling cases worth it. He’ll tell himself- You’re doing this for them. So the people you love can live In a safer world. You couldn’t make the world safer for Haley, but you can still do it for them.

But maybe one day - someone makes a quip to you about how often you’re messaging him. “He’s got a lot on his plate you know. Don’t you think that’s a distraction from his job? I’m just saying it seems pretty clingy to me.”

And it works it way into your brain and makes you self conscious. Are you being too clingy? Are you the desperate girlfriend that can’t tell when she’s overstayed her welcome? When you look back on your messages, you do have to admit that it seems like a lot.

So you back off.

Aaron has been zoned in on the case, working against the clock to save lives that he didn’t realize the lack of buzzing throughout the day. When he gets back to the hotel and doesn’t see a single message from you, it concerns him. Obviously, he worries for your safety. It’s not like you to not talk to him at all. What if you’re hurt? He sends a quick message, not wanting to cause alarm even though his heart rate has increased exponentially.

“Everything alright, honey?”

Your reply is short. “Yeah. We’re all good here!”

His brows furrow at this. It seems odd to him but he tries to calm himself down. No pictures. No little updates on what you did today. He figures if there’s anything truly wrong, any danger, you surely would say something. Maybe you and Jack are just really tired - maybe you went to the park or went swimming or something.

The next day, you send a photo of Jack on a Pokémon Go walk in the neighborhood, face scrunched in concentration while he tries to catch a mewtwo. It helps calm his nerves. This was a good sign, things were probably going back to normal.

But then the third day - it’s radio silence again. He can’t help his thoughts turning the whole situation inwardly on himself. Were you getting bored with him? Maybe you were getting frustrated with the fact that he was away and you seemed to play nanny to his kid more than being an actual girlfriend.

He calls you but you insist on everything is fine. You’re just a little tired or you and Jack didn’t really do anything interesting that day so there wasn’t much to share. Aaron slightly rolls his eyes at this. There isn’t anything that you could do that he wouldn’t find fascinating. He tells you this but you seem to just brush it off.

He’s good at what he does and he can tell there’s more than what you’re telling him but you keep insisting everything is fine and his own insecurities that he’s built up over the last couple cause him to drop the subject. He doesn’t want to push and potentially make anything worse.

When the case is finally wrapped and the team makes their way back home, they can tell something has gotten under hotch’s skin. Their normally stoic boss is wiggling around in his seat like his ass is on fire. It was a bad case and maybe he’s just on edge from the brunt of it all.

One thing they aren’t used to seeing though, is him there alongside the rest of them, going home at a normal hour. They can’t help but tease him about the whole affair, “I guess there’s a certain special someone that you can’t wait to get home to, huh hotch?” He chuckles along with them but secretly his only hope is that there still is a special someone waiting for him when he gets there.

When he does walk through the door, the first thing he notices is the emptiness and the quiet. His heart sinks. On autopilot, he moves to your shared bedroom and he instead of you, he finds all of the bedsheets missing, the closet door open and your suitcase missing from the spot on the top shelf.

No. No. No. he panics. You packed up. You left. He stumbles out of the bedroom, calling out your name, calling out jack’s. His voice cracking. He hears a door open down the hall and there’s his son. “Dad! Come here” he tried to brace himself for what he might find. Jack looks physically fine, no immediate signs of distress. When he finally makes it, he sees you huddled up under a blanket fort, popcorn and chocolate and stuffed animals tucked underneath the mountain of blankets. And your suitcase. With the handle extended to hold up the weight of the sheets above it. He breathes a sigh of relief. You haven’t left. You built a blanket fort with jack.

you finally do talk about it - after Jack has crashed from the sugar high. When he asks you what’s wrong, he’s not prepared when you say, “I’m a burden to you, Aaron.”

“Where the hell did you get that idea from?” He can’t hide his shock. So you’re blurting it all out to him. He’s Confused. Kinda pissed about the whole event. How dare someone make you feel like you and his son are an annoyance to him in any way? His sweet little family that he loves and adores. You have an understanding, especially after Haley, he doesn’t want to miss out on his life anymore and if that means 2,000 texts a day then he will hand his entire salary over to his phone company to make it happen. He loves that you don’t try to make him feel bad for being away, you understand how much he loves the team and you love seeing him work. But you also know that his family means the would to him too and the fact that you’re willing to accommodate that isn’t something you should ever feel ashamed of. He’ll spend the whole night proving it to you.

THE ANGST IN THIS IS DELICIOUS 😫

aaron loves your little texts and updates during the day 🥺 he loves seeing your face and his son’s light up the screen of his phone! it’s what keeps him going when a case gets too much. it’s what he looks at when he feels disappointed in the world :(

so when you stopped doing it, a weight was suddenly placed on his chest. tbh he probably got flashbacks from all the fights he had with haley about his job :(( so he’s terrified history will repeat itself :(

meanwhile you’re also very :(( bc you’re worried that this random person was right and maybe you did annoy aaron with all your texts and updates. you know he loves you but you’re worried that he doesn’t have the time or energy during his very important job to care about your silly messages.

and aaron coming home and freaking out you left 🥺 i know the tears were in the corners of his eyes ready to spill :((( all these coincidences were just too cruel.

but when he finds you and jack simply having the time of yours lives he feels such a sweet relief! bc you’re still there and you love him <333

when you talk about it you agree that the messages not only aren’t gonna stop they’re gonna be even more frequent now 🤭🤭 and you also promise you’ll never let another person affect you with words like these. aaron loves you more than anything!! and you should not believe anyone but the man you adore <3 so when he says he loves you and your little messages, it’s true 🥹💞

[rosicheeks]

hmmmm… 7/25/22? 👀

-🌸

[elitadream]

You know what I think was a missed opportunity in the new Mario movie? (I liked it btw!!) A scene like the one in Disney Tarzan, where Peach is just -amazed- and fascinated in a soft way by Mario because it's the first time she sees another human?? 🥺 And Mario feeling a bit shy under her gaze like "wow, the princess is staring at me, I am feeling quite self-conscious rn but I can't help staring back?? She's so beautiful!"

ASKRPQGAHKF 🙇‍♀️💘

I can picture her crouching before him, eyes wide with curiosity and wonder, her hands hovering between them.

"You're..." she would trail off distractedly, tilting her head in disbelief. Mario would falter somewhat under the scrutiny, not quite daring to meet her gaze for more than a second at a time. His lifelong insecurities soon resurfacing, he would blink tiredly and lower his head further in a vain attempt to escape the attention.

"...Small? Silly? Funny-looking?" He would supply for her, in a knowing and defeated tone. Already prepared for the inevitable jab, the predictable mockery.

To his surprise however, the Princess would gasp, gently taking one of his hands in hers. "No! You're... You're like me," she would finally say, her voice incredibly sweet, her face impossibly kind. A caring and earnest smile illuminating her features.

Mario could only stare back with muted awe, seized by a fluttering thrill. Having never before experienced an encounter this warm or remotely enchanting before. Lost in the grace and benevolence that she would effortlessly emanate, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. 🦋🕯💞

[blorbocedes]

Would love to hear your thoughts on Yukierre because folks have such different ideas of their dynamics and I feel like you might have some spicy takes

hmmm my yukierre hot takes....

I know we give Charles the Catholic guilt cultural appropriation pass for being a Ferrari driver but the real trad cath guilt ridden poster boy is pierre, sexy satyr mr tumnus looking, gasly who has a Cross necklace and does the sign of the cross before a race

I have to respect the thottery 4 jesus

Pierre is also in the business of denying himself things he wants, he talked on the podcast about how he used to have croissants everyday until he was 18 cause it's his ✨Francois Culture 🥖🇫🇷 but then after the motorsport diet restrictions made him count every calorie :( Yuki has a complete opposite approach towards pleasure, which is that he indulges in it. He has a good steak, a big rice dinner, even called a croissant good for mental calories (so true bestie!!!) 🥐

However, pierre is also the one instigates the sus shit; like saying yuki has tasted everything except French girls, how he has so many girls in his dms saying yuki is so cute and he just needs the confirmation to set them up...... which is 🤨 why do u want to get ur coworker laid . and why do u want to be involved in that process of setting it up 🤔 the whole "haha let's go to the movies I don't do this with guys btw but maybe I'll make an exception for u 😳" like WHO asked Mr Gasly. But then he is haunted by not leaving room for the Holy Spirit and gets spooked 'haha don't misunderstand/don't make it weird guys haha also yuki you can't come to my house, remember last time you tried to sleep with me'

Yuki isn't suffering from fatal conditions like Catholicism and being a former Redbull driver, so he can play back easily and unphased, 'I thought you weren't gonna tell them about that' 'having boyfriend girlfriend feelings 🥰' 'I want to go to your house' while pierre is having a breakdown trying to backtrack from the gay chicken because he always breaks first (coward)...... what does it truly mean to be liked by Pierre Gasly 😔

Why are you looking at him like that!!!!! you are NEVER beating the allegations sir!!!!

this isn't relevant but yuki is one of the few on track who has thunder thighs which I'm a big fan I hope he never stops wearing schoolboy shorts

also, the way alonso goes 'yuuki :D' makes me believe yuki has that same twinkle for chaos in his eyes, and I love a bitch on the grid.

tldr: what happens when you put a repressed French Catholic and a Japanese zoomer with no fear of god or calories together

[r0semultiverse]

psst...ur cute

anon, you got good taste, thank you 💜

[vse-kar-vem]

What is your most fav pic of Kris?

OK!!!! i have an entire folder of pictures prepared for this day anon you have no idea .... obviously i can't just pick one 😞

first category are pics where the girlfriendism is incredibly strong

second category is pics that make me like. physically incapable of speech. the bar for this category is very high

ok! there are more but i tried to restrain myself 😞 if anyone is in need of kris pics please drop by !!!

[shirefantasies]

I find it absolutely amazing that you keep on writing and putting out great work. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! We appreciate you!

Awww, thank you so much 🥰 sometimes I lose inspiration or get indisposed 😆 but it always comes back in the end. Truly I love what I do and I feel so grateful others do as well! I have an insane stockpile to sit atop right now & once my draft list is shorter & easier to travel through I’ll keep chipping away 💪🏻 hope y’all like all the things that are coming ☺️

This ask filled my heart so much 🥺🥹

[laineystein]

I just wanted to let you know that in addition to lighting candles for the hostages, I light one for you too on shabbat. I don't know you personally and have never spoken to you, but I've followed you for a while now, and when I think of the IDF, I think of you frequently.

As a Diaspora Jew, I don't have family in the IDF, so it has been helpful for me to have a face and a name to personalize when candle lighting.

Also, I was a US Marine for a long time and while I know our experiences in the military were different (a tiny portion of the USMC is female vs a far greater percentage of the IDF) from one military woman to another... keep kicking ass... thank you.

Am Yisrael Chai!!!

This is so incredibly kind. I am honored. Toda toda toda - forever and ever 💙

Female soldiers in the US are just as badass as us female IDF soldiers. Thank YOU for your service and for keeping the US safe! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[kinnbig]

94 sees to have kenbig written all over it :0

94 - untying your lover's tie, using it to pull your lover into a kiss (send me a kiss prompt number and a pairing and I'll write a tiny ficlet!)

“I hate you,” Big mutters, even as he leans forwards a little to make it easier for Ken to loop the tie around his collar, “this is humiliating.”

Ken shrugs. “Not as humiliating as it would be if you tore your stitches getting dressed and had to be sentenced to even more bed-rest.” 

Big huffs. He’s close enough that Ken feels the puff of air against his own cheek, hot and conceding. 

Ken shivers.

“Besides,” he murmurs, drawing closer, “it’s kind of sexy helping you dress.” He twists the tie into a knot and pulls it tight, tucking the end beneath Big’s sling and smoothing it down. His palm lingers against Big’s chest. “If you’re lucky, later I’ll help you undress, too.” 

~~~

“Fuck,” Ken groans against Big’s neck, tugging frantically at the clasp of his sling, “why did they make this thing so fucking complicated?”

The sling is on over all of Big’s clothes, so it has to come off before Big’s blazer can come off before Big’s shirt can come off before Big can be naked. Which, in Ken’s view, is something Big needed to be, like, yesterday. 

“I thought this was what you wanted?” Big taunts, far cockier than anyone trapped in their own clothes has any right to be. He ghosts his good hand down Ken’s bare chest, pressing their hips more firmly together, making Ken hiss and buck and briefly abandon his task, because fuck, Big, friction, Big - “I thought you liked-”

“Shut up,” Ken says through his teeth, forcing himself to concentrate, “let me just-”

The sling finally comes undone. 

It barely hits the ground before Big’s blazer is following it. Big’s gaze on him burns as Ken starts working frantically on his tie, his eyes round and dark, his lips shiny and parted and twisted into a slight smirk, all arrogance and composure as Ken fights to undress him, and it shouldn’t be hot but it’s so fucking hot, and yeah, no, fuck it.

He pulls Big in by his tie. Big follows easily, kissing back hungrily, crowding Ken more solidly against the wall.

“You know,” Big says against his mouth, good hand threading into Ken’s hair and tugging, making Ken gasp and arch and claw at his chest, “I don’t need to get fully undressed for us to-”

Ken grasps at Big’s shirt and tears, ripping the fabric apart, sending the buttons scattering to the floor. 

Big pulls back to glare at him. “That shirt was uniform, Ken.” 

So dutiful, even as Ken unbuttons his fly. 

“I don’t care,” Ken breathes, getting Big’s zipper undone and then twisting in his arms until his front is pressed against the wall.

 “Fuck you-”

“Yeah,” he arches back, pressing against Big, pulse jumping as Big’s teeth graze the back of his neck, “that was the idea.” 

more kiss prompt ficlets

[rosicheeks]

i confess that your ass in a g string is literally the hottest thing

🫣🫣🫣

[cementcornfield]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjyaXnPu8Xi/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Someone get this man a daiquiri 🍹

[yourdaddyfigure]

Hi hello good morning! Did you know you have very holdable hands?

Then why is no one holding them!?!?