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e-milieeee · 3 years

Text

come in with the rain

Summary: When Ladybug and Chat Noir discover that Shadowmoth is Gabriel Agreste, Ladybug’s expecting them to finally gain the upper-hand in the fight. Instead, her partner completely disappears.

Unexpectedly, he comes to find Marinette instead.

Notes: for @carpisuns - happy birthday maryssa!! you’re one of the first ml creators i followed when i first joined the fandom and i admire your writing and art so much!!! based on this comic that sent me into a marichat angst spiral aha

also very inspired by come in with the rain, renegade, call it what you want, silhouettes, heirloom, and uneven odds... had a whole playlist for this fic :’)

Word count: 4.5k

AO3

It’s a groundbreaking, game-changing discovery, and Ladybug’s head is already spinning from the fact that finding out Shadowmoth��s identity finally puts them ahead of him for once. The fact that he’s Gabriel Agreste brings quite a few other implications, and the one that bothers her the most is Adrien. But she doesn’t dare focus on that now. “Chat,” she says, turning to her partner. “Since we know Shadowmoth’s identity, we can start planning—Chat? Are you listening?” He’s not looking at her, rather staring at the cityscape sprawled in front of them. It’s too dark for Ladybug to see his expression when she doesn’t have night vision like he does, but the lighting is enough to show his body language: shoulders slumped forward, chin tucked towards his chest, and a sort of rigid nervousness to his posture. His arms hang limply at his side, fingers curled into loose fists. “Chat?” Ladybug takes a step closer to him. “Hey. Are you okay?” Emerald green disappears and reappears as he blinks rapidly. She takes another step forward; he angles his body away from her. “Chat?” she repeats for the third time, reaching for his hand. He jolts away the moment Ladybug makes contact, and she startles back as well, surprised by his reaction. He’s never flinched away from her before. Ladybug wracks her mind for all the things that could be wrong with finding out that Gabriel Agreste is Shadowmoth, but Gabriel is an elusive, withdrawn man: she can’t imagine how in the world he would affect Chat Noir. Perhaps he’s a fan of fashion? Perhaps—he works at Gabriel brand? No, that can’t be. He’s her age. “I have to go,” Chat Noir says slowly, as if each word has a heavy weight attached to the end of them. “I-I really have to go.” “Chat—” “I’m going to transform back soon,” he cuts in. “I-I’ll see you later, Ladybug. I’m sorry.” She doesn’t have time to point out that he hasn’t used his cataclysm at all that night before he’s already gone.

______

Marinette’s distracted. Tikki sits perched on one of her erasers as she lists out all of the evidence she can think of that Gabriel Agreste is Shadowmoth. It matches up. Everything does. Marinette still can’t put a motive to the actions, but it’s not as if Gabriel Agreste is known for being a saint—she may admire his fashion, but the admiration ends there. She has no lost love for a man who locks his son up for no reason, and from what she’s heard from Nino, constantly threatens Adrien about withdrawing him from school. Come to think of it, her days of admiring Gabriel’s presence in the fashion industry have long become overshadowed by more negative sentiments towards him. Just like the first time she’d suspected him, she’s not particularly upset that it’s him. But she is, for Adrien. “Tikki,” she mumbles, scratching out the doodle of a cat she had ended up sketching. “Do you think Adrien knows his father is Shadowmoth? Do you think he’s involved?” “Do you think he’s involved?” “No,” Marinette answers immediately. “He wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t.” “Then trust your instinct.” She stares forlornly at her piece of paper. “Why was Chat Noir upset today when we found out? Does he know Gabriel Agreste as a civilian? Even knowing Shadowmoth’s identity, I can’t do anything about it without his help.” Tikki doesn’t answer any of the questions. Instead, she asks one of her own: “Are you going to reveal Shadowmoth’s identity to the public?” That’s an option Marinette had considered, but again, she doesn’t want to go ahead with anything without Chat Noir’s input. Additionally, knowing Shadowmoth’s identity while he remains unaware of what they’ve discovered is a tactical advantage she doesn’t want to lose. “I don’t know what to do,” she admits to Tikki. “I guess I’ll ask Chat Noir when I see him.”

______

She doesn’t see Chat Noir. The next day on patrol, he’s missing. Her messages pile up; she asks him for his whereabouts, asks him if he’s okay, asks him whether or not they should reveal Shadowmoth’s identity to the public—none of which he reads, much less answers. Ladybug patrols on her own, dejected and put off and concerned. She never quite feels Chat Noir’s presence until his absence; now that he’s gone, she finds herself looking for that hint of green and gold on black, only to find it missing. It feels odd. It feels wrong. It’s like the world has tilted off its axis, but only Ladybug notices.

______

Shadowmoth doesn’t akumatize more people, and Chat Noir doesn’t show up to anymore patrols. His disappearance and his reaction to Gabriel Agreste’s secret is much too timed to be a coincidence, but no matter how she thinks about it, Ladybug can’t figure out why. On the second day she patrols alone, she tells herself that she ought to be annoyed with him. It’s harder to cover everything on her own, she thinks as she swings through the rooftops, and that means she has less time to herself to do homework and design. But when she drops down through the skylight and sits at her desk, it’s not annoyance as much as it is worry that keeps her restless all night. On the third day, when he doesn’t come, a sudden, terrifying thought creeps up against her will and overwhelms all other thoughts. What if, for some reason, this is the end? What if Chat Noir never comes back, never shows up, and she'll remain none the wiser of who he is? That’s the thing about Chat Noir: he’s always there, always a constant, to the point that Ladybug barely worries about if there’ll ever be a chance that he’s not. And now that he is—well, not—the possibility is giant and unspeakable and it hurts. She never expected them to ever have to say a goodbye, but even if they do, she’s imagined it to be one that’s heartfelt and full of promises, because of everything they’ve been through together and everything they are to each other. Now, the prospect that they might not even have a goodbye to say—that they’ll part like this, unexplainably, without her ever knowing how to find him—is the worst sort of hurt. She thinks of looking through seas of people for blonde hair and green eyes and a lopsided smile and not being able to find the one that’s him. Or worse, seeing him and not recognizing him. It’s an awful thought.

______

Only after the fourth time does she dare think about the fact that it might be Ladybug that Chat Noir is somehow upset with. So when Marinette detransforms in her room, she digs up her phone and texts Chat Noir from her number there. [8:54pm] marinette dupain-cheng want to help me with a design? The message shows as delivered, but not read. She brings upstairs a plate of his favourite pastries, then leaves a small crack in the skylight. She allows herself to hope that he will come. It’s three in the morning when Marinette finally wrestles and loses with the truth that he isn’t about to show up, and she drags herself to bed exhausted.

______

Hope’s an awful thing, really. It’s no use, Marinette tries to tell herself when she sends Chat Noir a second message, but her brain says one thing yet her heart another. She sets out another plate of pastries. She leaves the crack in her skylight again. He still doesn’t come.

______

On the third night, she finally musters the courage to send a text that’s less artificial. [8:32pm] marinette dupain-cheng hey, are you okay? i haven’t heard from you for a while She won’t bring up the pastries or open the skylight today, Marinette decides, because doing so makes her hope. Disappointment hurts some, but hope always hurts more. Except this time, a couple minutes later, the message shows up as read. Not delivered, but read. Chat Noir has seen it. [8:38pm] marinette dupain-cheng do you want to come over and talk? He doesn’t read this one, but Marinette heads downstairs, brings another assorted plate of pastries to her room, then opens the skylight just a crack, like she’s done two times before. It’s been raining miserably the entire day, and the weather has shown no signs of ceasing. A bit of water drips down from the opening. She checks her phone. Her second message hasn’t been read yet. Minutes trickle past, water trickles in. The clock hits nine o’clock; the wet spot from the rain grows from a speck of dark colour to the size of her hand. There is no Chat Noir. By the time it’s nine thirty, Marinette has coached herself through the process of coming to terms with the fact that Chat Noir doesn’t want to see her, as Ladybug or as Marinette. She knows she should take the pastries back downstairs and sleep. Close the skylight before her blankets become more rain-soaked. That’s the sensible thing to do. But sensibility feels wrong, because there is nothing sensible when her entire world feels like it’s been turned upside-down. So Marinette curls around her phone, open to her messages with Chat Noir, and hopes even though hoping hurts. She thinks of other things to say. At some point, she writes out I miss you, but it seems silly and she deletes it. Marinette and Chat Noir are friends, but as Marinette—what right does she have to say that to him? It’s nearing ten when her skylight creaks quietly. Immediately, Marinette sits up. Perhaps it’s just the wind. The spot of rain on her bed has grown. Then, with a very quiet thump, Chat Noir lands on her bed. Marinette doesn’t know what exactly to feel. There’s anger at him for disappearing without word or trace; there’s concern over what happened with him; there’s an overwhelming, selfish sense of relief that he’s here, that she gets to see him again, that her worst fears from the past few days haven’t come true. For a moment, she sits there, unsure of what to do, keenly aware that she’s Marinette, not Ladybug. Chat crouches back on his heels, blinking rapidly. His hair clings against his face, wet from the rain, which drips from every part of him: nose, lips, eyes. Then she realizes belatedly that he’s also crying. It seems like a good excuse to hug him and not be weird about it. She reaches for Chat Noir, and he barely hesitates before tumbling into her arms. His suit is soaked from the rain, and the cold water seeps into her pajamas, into her skin, and finally settles in bone-deep with an acute sense that something is terribly, awfully wrong. He grips her tightly, shaking, but barely makes a noise as he cries. Marinette has seen Chat Noir hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, dejected, but not like this. He’s trembling like a leaf, clutching her like a lifeline that’s hanging on by a thread, sobbing soundless sobs until it hurts her too. “Chat,” she says quietly, tapping against his back. “Chat, what’s wrong? Where have you been?” “I messed up,” he replies, and his voice is hoarse and grated in a way that tells Marinette he’s been crying for a while. “I really, really messed up.” She can’t, for the life of her, think of what Chat Noir could’ve done that was so horrid to put him in such a state. A very selfish part of her wants to keep holding onto him and say all the words that she can’t, but Marinette isn’t brave enough to. Instead, she carefully untangles herself from him and sits back so she can see his face. He wipes his hands under his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he manages. “I didn’t want to intrude. I-I just didn’t know where else to go.” “You’re not intruding,” she reassures. I’ve been looking for you for days. “But… what happened?” He swallows, opens his mouth, shuts it, then averts his gaze. The silence that lingers is a fragile thing. Finally, just when Marinette can’t take the quiet anymore, he blurts, “Ladybug and I have found out who Shadowmoth is.” She stiffens. Chat remains staring at his hands. “We found out his real identity,” he repeats. “Name and all. It was supposed to be a win for us. Know who he is, know where to find him, know how to take him down. All that, you know?” Marinette’s mind goes back to all of the notes she’d taken the day after they’d discovered Gabriel Agreste’s secret. She hadn’t been able to reach a conclusion as to why Chat Noir would be so upset about it then; she still isn’t able to now. Her mouth feels dry when she finally asks, “What happened after?” He wipes his hands under his eyes one more time even if the action is fruitless. “What happened,” Chat echoes slowly, “is that I also found out that Shadowmoth is my father.” The entire world stutters, stills, stops. That can’t be possible. Because—because Shadowmoth is Gabriel Agreste, and Gabriel Agreste only has one son, who is Adrien Agreste. So if Shadowmoth is Gabriel Agreste and Chat Noir is Shadowmoth’s son, then… The world starts up again, in the most jarring way possible. The puzzle pieces fit together, but Marinette hadn’t known that making sense of something was supposed to hurt so much. It takes all of her to remember that Chat Noir—Adrien Agreste—doesn’t know that she knows who Shadowmoth is. Doesn’t know that she knows who he is. Her voice sounds disconnected from her body, a dissonant cadence of sound that barely has any meaning. “Did you tell Ladybug?” Chat’s shoulders hunch even more. “No,” he admits. “I’ve been avoiding her. I don’t know how I’m supposed to face her.” Chat Noir. Adrien Agreste. All this time, had it really been him? Her mind is a tangled mess, and even though Marinette tries, it’s so difficult to focus on anything. All this while—it had been Adrien Agreste all along, next to her when nobody else was? “I’m sorry,” Marinette finally manages out. What can she even say to that? In a strange, twisted way, she thinks, the problem of having to tell Adrien that his father has been terrorizing Paris for a year has been solved. “But it’s not… it’s not your fault.” Chat Noir is a good amount taller than her, but he looks impossibly small right then, like he’s been trying to shrink into himself as much as possible. “In hindsight, I don’t even know if I should be surprised.” He looks up, and the corners of his mouth lift in an attempt of a smile that looks more like a wince. “It’s not like this is the first time he’s disappointed me.” Maybe it’s that stupid attempt at smiling when he’s clearly in pain that snaps Marinette out of her shocked daze. Or maybe it’s the way he says the words, hopeless, resigned, casualness thinly veiled over hurt. Maybe it’s because she knows exactly what he’s talking about, because she knows the disappointed way Adrien’s shoulders stoop every time he says, Father changed his mind, or Father won’t allow me, I’m sorry. Or maybe it’s because she knows him as Chat Noir, brave and loyal and irreplaceable, and as Adrien, selfless and kind and wonderful—and knows with every fiber of her being that he deserves so, so much better. In a voice much steadier than before she scooches closer to Chat Noir and leans down so she can look him in the eye. “Shadowmoth being your father isn’t your fault. You didn’t have any control over that. It doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been protecting Paris against him for months.” “I know that,” Chat says, “and I know at the end of the day, I’m going to… I’m going to have to fight him. I’m going to have to stop him. Because that’s what’s right, and because that’s what I’m supposed to do, and because I don’t want to have him hurting more people. But I thought about it, you know? What if I tried to talk to him? Asked him to stop? If he knew it was me he was fighting, would he care enough about me to give it up?” He presses the heels of his palm against his face, covering his eyes. “Then I remember that he can’t even bother to show up to a dinner he promised to eat with me, and I think—who am I even kidding?” There is a moment of silence as Marinette grapples with what to say. Chat Noir sniffles again. “And I also get this thought th-that maybe I should give him my Miraculous. Maybe he has a real, legitimate, worthy reason for doing this, and if I help him, maybe he’ll be proud of me or something. It’s stupid. I won’t do it. But I still—” His voice breaks. “I still can’t help but think about it.” He finally sets his hands down and lets out a shaky exhale. She can still see tear tracks on his face, but he doesn’t seem to be crying anymore at the minute. He gives her a very wobbly attempt at a smile then soon seems to realize that it’s not working. “So yeah. I don’t know what I’m even supposed to do now. I mean—I know, but I’m scared. To face Ladybug, to tell her, and to see how she reacts. Because what if she hates me for it? We’ve been fighting for Shadowmoth for nearly a year, and I’ve seen how he’s hurt her and how upset she’s gotten because of him. Yet he’s been my father all along.” Marinette stares at him. “Do you really think Ladybug would hate you?” He’s quiet for a couple of seconds. She waits, nervous, scared for the answer. Finally, slowly, “No. She wouldn’t. She’s not like that.” “Then why?” He gestures around himself, then seems to give up. “Because Ladybug doesn’t deserve this.” Marinette presses her lips together. Her eyes sting, but she doesn’t want to cry in front of him, because it hardly feels fair to Chat Noir. “This has nothing to do with Ladybug,” she manages, and miraculously doesn’t burst into tears then and there. “This isn’t fair to you. You haven’t done anything wrong, and if she knew, she would be saying the same thing. Shadowmoth’s your father? It doesn’t change everything you’ve done for Paris. It doesn’t change the sort of person you are.” Each word is slightly easier than the last, because Marinette means them with all she is. She moves closer to Chat Noir, so that their knees are touching. Pressing her palms against his cheeks, she lifts his face enough so she can stare at him. “You’re kind, and you’re loyal, and you’re brave, and in every way, you measure up to Ladybug. That’s never, ever changed. Not before, and not now. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Especially yourself.” He blinks at her, green eyes wide, and Marinette suddenly remembers that she’s not Ladybug right now. She drops Chat’s face, but his gaze remains fixed on her. “If Ladybug doesn’t feel the same, then she’s wrong.” He lets out another sharp breath, and it takes Marinette a moment to realize that he’d let out a laugh. It’s shaky and hoarse, but it feels more genuine than the last. “I’m flattered you think so highly of me,” he manages out, but it’s a far cry from his usual teasing. “Thanks, Marinette.” The silence that lingers this time is longer. They sit across from each other as Marinette struggles with what to do next. He’d inadvertently revealed his identity to her; is she supposed to do the same? It feels like the wrong moment—hey, by the way, I’ve been talking about myself in third person this whole conversation because I’m actually Ladybug, haha, surprise!—but it doesn’t seem fair to Chat—to Adrien. Before Marinette can come to a decision, Chat shifts backwards. “I got water all over your duvet,” he points out. “I’m sorry.” She shrugs. “I’ve had the skylight open for nearly two hours, and that’s been dripping water the whole time. It’s fine. I’m just glad you came.” “Me too.” His voice is quiet, but it’s earnest. “I think I really needed to hear that. Thank you.” Her throat closes up. He had kept it to himself for days, and the thought of Chat Noir carrying that hurt and confusion and pain all alone makes her chest ache. She reaches for Chat’s hand again. “I’ll always be here for you,” she promises, and she wishes he could know she means it not as Marinette only but as Ladybug as well. “No matter what, Chat. I promise.” He pulls her into a second hug, which is a good thing, because it means he can’t see her face. There’s apparently a limit to how much tears your waterline can hold before they come dripping down. Marinette does her best to blink the tears away before Chat Noir can question why she’s crying too. She’s not sure how long they stay there. She grips Chat Noir tight, desperately hoping he knows she meant every word she said and more, wishing he could hear what she wants to tell him but can’t bring herself to. When he sits back, he looks much better than the first time around. He rubs his palms under his eyes, and they come away dry. “I should probably get going. It’s really late and I don’t want to disturb you any longer.” “You’re not disturbing me, and I consistently sleep after twelve anyway.” He gnaws on his lip. “Still. I don’t want… I don’t want anybody at home noticing I’m gone.” Oh. Oh, right. Given how strict she knows Gabriel Agreste is with Adrien, it’s a miracle that he manages to sneak out so much as Chat Noir. And there are so many small details that start making sense, like why Chat Noir had always been late whenever an akuma involved Adrien, or… why he had tried so desperately as Aspik. Come to think of it, the first time she’d ever suspected Gabriel Agreste to be Hawkmoth, he had been shocked and upset. “Do you want…” She gestures at her desk, where the plate of pastries sit. “Do you want something to eat before you go? I brought up pastries for you in case you dropped by.” He follows the direction she pointed in. “You brought them up for me?” “I thought maybe I’d summon you with them.” The corners of his lips twitch. “Guess you did.” “Third time’s the charm,” she replies, and Chat Noir freezes. “Third time?” he echoes. “Does that mean you’ve been waiting for me to come by?” Any other time, Marinette might’ve refuted the claim. But instead, she nods. “I was worried about you. And wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess I missed you too.” He sniffles slightly. Then, for the third time that night, reaches for a hug. She returns it readily. It’s too selfish a thought to admit aloud, but Marinette feels as if she needs the hug as much as Chat does. It’s been five long days of waiting and worrying, five long days of uncertainty, and the physical reminder that he’s there, not gone, is comforting. “Thanks,” Chat repeats. “I’m so glad to have a friend like you.” I’m luckier, Marinette wants to interject, but she doesn’t. A minute later, Chat lets go of her with an embarrassed cough. “I think I really do need to go now,” he says sheepishly. “I’ll come find you some other day, though. If you want.” “Come by whenever you want.” It feels necessary to verbally affirm it so he knows. “I’ll just… give you a bag of pastries? To-go?” “Okay,” he agrees. “That sounds good. Thanks, Marinette.” She climbs down her bed, stuffs as many pastries as she can in a bag, and then climbs back up to hand it to Chat. He’s staring at his hands when she looks at him, eyes slightly glazed. “Hey.” Marinette nudges him, and he looks up. “Can you promise me you’ll talk to Ladybug about it?” She sees him hesitate. Then, “Yes.” She holds out her pinkie to him. “Promise me?” A snort escapes him, but he hooks his finger around hers. “Paw-mise.” Marinette tries unsuccessfully to hide her laugh as a cough. His eyes widen. “Did you finally laugh at my pun?” “No.” “You did.” “Did not.” “I saw you,” he shoots back. “I’ll get going, then.” Chat’s reaching to open the skylight again when Marinette’s suddenly reminded of the fact that it’s still raining outside. “One more thing before you go,” she tells him. He gives her a confused look, but doesn’t question it. As quickly as possible, she scrambles down her bed to find the black umbrella that sits at the corner of her room. When she returns to Chat’s side, she can see him eyeing it. Marinette offers it to him. “It’s raining,” she explains. “You don’t want to catch a cold.” “I’ll be fine—” “Just make sure you return it,” she interrupts. “Someone really important to me gave me that umbrella.” She sees surprise cross his face, then recognition. Then, finally, he accepts it with a small smile. “Will do.” He lifts the skylight open, clutching onto both the umbrella and pastries with the other hand. “Thanks for the pastries,” he calls. “And the umbrella. And for… well, everything else.” Everything else. Neither of them have to specify what everything else entails. She blinks at him. “Thanks for trusting me.” His expression softens. “I’ll see you soon?” She nods at him, not quite able to form the words. Chat Noir shuts the skylight softly, and the trickle of water inside stops. Marinette knows she ought to sleep if she wants to operate as a fully functional person the next day, but she just can’t. She stares at the spot of rain on her bed, where Chat—Adrien Agreste—had been sitting mere minutes before. In hopes of falling asleep if she’s lying down, Marinette crawls under her blankets again. But she’s wide-awake no matter what she does. Halfway through counting sheep, she’s unconsciously switched to counting all the times she’d run into Adrien as Ladybug and wondering how did I not know? Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, of course, but it feels so obvious now. It feels so right. Thirty minutes later, she’s finally come to terms with the fact that sleep is a lost cause. Marinette looks at her window, where streaks of water run down glass without any signs of ceasing. Chat has probably gotten home by now. After all, the Agreste mansion isn’t far. Right. The Agreste mansion isn’t far. Marinette crawls out of her blankets. It’s late, but something tells her that Adrien isn’t asleep yet. A transformation later, she’s climbing out of her skylight and heading out to find him.

#miraculous ladybug #ladybug #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #marichat #ladynoir #identity reveal #hurt and comfort #angst #mlb fic #i think i spiralled way too much with this fic idk what i was on #fun fact it was supposed to be 2k

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shobioo · 3 years

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“I’m not a fan of this solution.”

“Too bad, you need a boyfriend!”

“Stop saying I need — Are you saying I’m lonely again or something?”

“Duh.”

Synopsis: Y/N L/N an overworked chief secretary who has no time for relationships or anything of the sort nowadays. But, when she’s met with her best friend downloading an app for just the thing she doesn't have time for. She grieves, matchmaking was already a scam, what’s the point of finding love anyways?

Pairing: Rintarō Suna x f! reader

Genre: Crack, Fluff, Angst, and Comedy

profiles:

Y/N’s Emotional Support Group | EJP Gang

♥︎ 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 ♥︎

♡︎ 001: #announcement

♡︎ 002: Solution

♡︎ 003: Why the fuck?

♡︎ 004: Aha?

♡︎ 005: Awkward

♡︎ 006: Takeout?

♡︎ 007: Sixth Sense

♡︎ 008: Sugar Baby

♡︎ 009: Petsmart

♡︎ 010: Luck

♡︎ 011: Cute

↳ Special Chapter: Tomorrow

♡︎ 012: Date?

♡︎ 013: Trending

♡︎ 014: Friend

♡︎ 015: Pajama Pants

♡︎ 016: Risks

♡︎ 017: Happiness

♡︎ 018: Quit

♡︎ 019: Love

↳ Special Chapter: You

♡︎ 020: App Mishap

♡︎ 021: No Caption

♡︎ 022: Noting Less

♡︎ 023: I love you

♡︎ 024: Paris

epilogue: Today

TAGLIST CLOSED!

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq smau #suna x reader #suna rintaro x you #suna x y/n #suna rintarou #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smau series #suna x you #suna rintaro fluff

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haravath0t · 3 years

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You All Along

Pairing: 40s!Bucky x 40s!Reader

Warning(s): angst angst ANGST, vulgar language

Word Count: 1.6K

A/N: AHA! Happy Holidays everyone! This ask by the lovely @world-of-aus was so long overdue!! I’m trying to get back into the swing of things like angst so I hope you all enjoy! I added a bit of my own twist of these events and this request, so ignore the inaccuracies this may have in comparison to the MCU, but nonetheless, enjoy! I promise there will be a second part!

“Can I convince you to stay?” Is all you can get to leave your mouth after a long period of silence between the two of you. The cat was now out of the bag, the letter that you had hoped to never see was staring back at you, opened.

Bucky was going to basic training in two weeks to fight in the war.

“I’m afraid not. Doll, this is a war we are talking about,” he explains. “I did what I had to do.”

“You don’t actually expect me to just let you go that easily do you?!” You ask, unaware of the fact that when you looked at him, the tears you desperately tried to suppress were now exposed for the brunet to see. “James Barnes I can’t believe you! How dare you do this out of the blue and expect me to be okay with this?!” You cry out, hand gripping hard on the notice as you wave it around. “You expect me to just be happy with that decision after all we’ve been through?!”

“I should have known you were gonna be actin’ like this… should have waited a little longer to tell you,” Bucky mutters in frustration, hands rubbing his temples.

“What did you just say?”

“No, tell me, what did you just say to me?! You mean I’m one of the last to know?!” You scoff in disbelief. You shake your head “so much for best friends, Buck. You and Steve are the most trustworthy people, I just knew you’d be so open to communicate!”

“Stop being sarcastic, you’re acting like I did this to purposely fuck you over, you really think that little of me?!”

“My life has been hitting the fan, Barnes, you know every damn thing that’s been going on and how everything is falling apart I don’t need you to add onto it!”

“Oh, don’t you raise your voice like that to me, how am I becoming your problem-“

“Not only that, you got Steve also trying to follow suit with you! You know how dangerous it is out there?! You know the amount of things you are putting in the line-”

“Y/N, you cannot dictate what’s best for other people!”

“Can you blame me for acting the way I am, Buck? You’re telling me you’re enlisted and going into basic training soon during the holidays, how am I going to happily accept the news, huh? Tell me!”

“Why can’t you? Don’t you realize I did this to help our country? Do you see how this needs to be done?! This is the best way I can help, I cannot understand why you’re not even at the very least aware of the fact that this is for the bigger picture!” He groans, desperate to explain himself but he stops. He knows you won’t listen to him, and he is beyond frustrated. He’s hurt. During one of the times where he desperately needs your assurance, you’re giving him the opposite. He had hoped to confide in you and gain some form of courage from you, only to be met with disappointment knowing that the other dames he had come to know from Brooklyn saw what he was doing but you weren’t.

“Can’t you be fucking supportive for once? Hell even Dot-”

“Oh, now you’re pissing me off-”

“Why, huh? At least Dot acknowledged the service I am doing for this country! At least she and other dames understood! The things involved in this decision is scary! I know it is! But god, Y/N I want support! This isn’t about you! It’s something bigger and you think about yourself?! How it affects you?! You don’t care, as long as I’m here in Brooklyn you’re gonna be all fine and dandy while other men are trying to help and give their efforts-”

“Stop talking about me like that, why do you have to bring Dot into this?! Huh?! Since when was she relevant to this conversation?! Why do you paint me like this?!” You ask, your voice cracking at the sudden mention of the redhead.

“At least Dot is able to be supportive! At least she can be a support system back here while I’m away unlike this supposed best friend you claim yourself to be!”

It felt like punches kept landing onto you, being hit at the worst places by the last person you thought would throw them in the first place. It made your heart ache. It made your mind spin. You couldn’t believe the words that were leaving his mouth.

“It’s because I’m worried, dammit Buck!” You cry. “Why do you make it sound like it is bad to act this way? Why do you play me out to be the bad guy?”

“You’re my best friend, Y/N! Is it really that wrong for me to come to you after a debate with myself because I knew you were gonna be against it? Is it wrong for me to hope that you support me in being a part of this cause? You think I would enjoy seeing how much you hate this decision I made? Obviously not, because I want someone back at home to look forward to while I help out. I want someone to encourage me and you’re not doing that-”

“You think I never wanted to be in Dolores’ place?!” You yell, voice hoarse as you sob loudly with tears messily trickling down your face. “How dare you call me unsupportive when I have been supportive of you this whole goddamn time? How dare you tell me I don’t care when I care about the life that you are putting on the line?! How dare you call me selfish because I’m scared of the possibility of you not coming back being a reality?! How dare you say these things to me when I’ve always wanted to be the same you long for? How dare you call me selfish while you’re calling your damn date better than me and yet I’m still in fucking love with you?!”

The last statement stuns the teary eyed brunet, the words that were wanting to be said now gone as his glassy eyes look back at you in disbelief, in denial.

There was no way that was coming out of your mouth.

You could only laugh bitterly at the reaction. You never expected the confession to come out like this, heck, you didn’t expect the confession to come out at all. However, the man had hurt you so much through this one conversation and there was no use of hiding it when he managed to kick you all the way down to rock bottom in minutes.

You felt like you had nothing more to lose.

“Of course you didn’t know I was in love with you. You were so busy trying to love someone else to even see the amount of love I harbored for you, James.” You muttered, reaching for the envelope and the notice to put it back in the way he had given it to you. “Ten years.” You sigh, your eyes again meeting him. “Ten years of me trying to convince myself I’d get over you because I knew I had no chance when I am competing against other women of Brooklyn, but fuck did I just keep falling by your voice calling my name, and god…” you sob. “I do want to support you, even if it means just being best friends. Because ten years ago, I only wanted to be next to you. I only wanted to give you the best things in life, but…I’m selfish right? I’m selfish for wanting you to stay so I can guarantee that you’d live. This is where Dot must be better than me I suppose.” You sigh. “I’m done.”

You hand the envelope back to him across the table. “You made your choice. I guess just live with it and it’s consequences.”

Bucky stares back at you, shock still evident in his face and a hint of regret sinking in for everything he had said to you tonight. “Y/N, I-”

His words fail to leave him once again as he watches you stand from your seat at the dining table and make your way to the door. The cold winter wind rushes in through you opening the door as you stare at him, emotionless. “Happy Holidays, Sergeant Barnes. I hope you serve this country well.” It’s his turn to let his tears fall this time. He never thought such things would be said between you two, never thought that your meaningless bickering would ever become an argument, let alone a reason to have you kick him out. “Y/N, doll-”

“Have a good night, Mr. Barnes.” You reply, a much more stern tone laced in your words. He couldn’t bring it in himself to argue any further. This led him to get up, put his coat on, and give you a nod before going past your doorstep. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

As he walks out of your apartment he is met with the harsh winter wind howling into his ears, but even though he knows that through it all, he heard you say “And I hope to never see you again.”

Strike-throughs mean I couldn’t tag you!

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4dtk · 3 years

Text

pas de deux — gojo satoru

pas de deux [pa•de•de] (french, literally “step of two”), a dance duet.

summary: striving to become a principal dancer, you’re unaware of the curious blue eyes from across the studio, only knowing of his reputation from rumours. when you have to shadow your seniors to learn a principal role and meet the infamous gojo satoru, what happens then?

word count: 11k lmfao

genre: a bit of angst, mostly fluff

a/n: gojo brainrot done. sorry this took so long lol i’m not used to writing long fics but i’m glad i did bc this is acts also as a place for me to dump my passion of ballet aha :”)

playlist here! most of them are classical pieces and a bit of ballet class music, i hope you don’t mind uwu. personally, i’d recommend watching (before or after the fic doesn’t matter hahah) the crazy talented marianela nuñez and vadim muntagirov in the pas de deux that i reference a lot in this fic. they’re my absolute favourite! (´･ᴗ･ ` )

tags: @fiona782

it was unconventional to see a ballerino don white hair during rehearsals, let alone in a company; the familiar head of white whizzes through the studio like an angel of the night, with graceful moves and powerful jumps to match those of a faerie's seamless manoeuvers through her flowers.

that was only expected out of a principal anyway.

gojo satoru, a principal dancer of the six eyes theatre. they were part of the three prominent companies that carried the ballet world and industry. behind all the glimmer and glitz lay hours of endless rehearsals and worn-out pointe shoes, as well as smiles behind kitri's fans or even the emotional miming from giselle.

he was untouchable, a leading face that carried the ballets he starred in with immense skill and an aura admired by everyone. anyone lucky to score a pas de deux with him would be torn between a world of conflict. those soft eyes that looked down at you with love were solely meant to portray siegfried's ardour for odette and nothing else.

you sigh, eyeing the confident man giving his all in the company class, no doubt hyping himself up for tonight's last show. you couldn't fall behind, either, knowing your performance was monitored way more now that you were considered amongst the directors to be promoted to principal.

"next group, pay attention, loves!" the teacher for the morning caught your attention, letting the chattering group in front head out first before the next group of dancers took their turn.

dancing was all you could remember, taking up most of your life even when you were a kid. through competitions and gruelling schedules, you managed to land in the six eyes theatre. sure, it wasn't as popular as the zen'in company or the kamo national ballet but, it still held up a wicked reputation, partially thanks to gojo satoru.

your feet naturally hail your command, placing it behind the other in a curtsey to thank the instructor for the morning class as you stretch your feet in some simple pointe repertoire.

"nervous about your posting, (y/n)?" nobara asks, rolling the arch of her feet back and forth with a tennis ball.

you shrugged, "in a way, yeah. i'm getting observed on mainly every move that i make."

the smile your best friend gives you calms you down, at least. megumi chipped in, "hey, you'll become one of the best principals around, i know it."

"yeah! and we'll go to your shows, no matter wha... oh, right, we're first soloists," itadori trails off.

you laugh, settling down to wipe the sweat from your brow. however, there's an uncharacteristic silence when you start to remove your pointe shoes.

"what if i do become principal? i'll miss you guys like hell." you mutter, rubbing off the skin peeling from your toes. removing the tape and toepads, you sigh again even after nobara lands a hand on your arm.

"stop sighing, you idiot, the company's small. sure, you'll have extended rehearsals, and i will now have to deal with yuji's noisy ass, but i doubt we're going to be separated like oil and water."

you roll your eyes, chuckling a little through glossy eyes, "true. it's just that we've always been together, through the competitions where we met and going up the ranks. hell, i wouldn't even imagine all of us becoming first soloists when we entered six eyes."

megumi raises an eyebrow, "are you underestimating us?"

putting your fingers together, you offer a sheepish smile, "just a little."

"and now you're going to become a principal, (y/n). we all know you put yourself to crazy standards that you always reach, maybe even higher than that. you're going to kill it as a principal, i'm sure."

thankful to nobara for the little speech, you pat her arm gently, easing into a stretch to prevent any tensing up later in an afternoon class.

"(y/n), they're coming over, look sharp," itadori notifies you, turning to the barre to do his own stretching as your friends busy themselves with their phones.

you take another curtsey at your instructor, along with the director of six eyes, masamichi yaga.

why... was he here now?

"(y/n), love, we'll need to talk to you about something. would you mind coming to the office later on? just before the company's afternoon class at 2 would be good."

you were at a loss for words.

was i already raised to principal? no... they wouldn't promote someone who's only danced her first soloist role a couple of times. were they going to remove me for consideration? maybe they found a better dancer to monitor?

"it's nothing terrible, (y/n), i promise." with a smile, masamichi walks away, not before patting your shoulder for reassurance.

the next few hours go by in a flash: eating lunch, lazing around in the studio, filming some tiktoks and then getting ready for another class took up most of your time that you didn't get to ponder over the office visit.

so you were definitely surprised to see gojo satoru himself, a shit-eating grin on his face once he hears you enter. he lays back on both arms to welcome the first soloist, you.

you curtseyed again to ms ieiri and masamichi. before you got to gojo, however, he held a hand up before standing up himself to bow. you let out a small smile as the familiar step led you to curtsey on the other foot.

it left a weird feeling in your bones to greet a principal dancer, but you two weren't all that close, anyway. plus, curtseying was basic courtesy in the company, where actions spoke louder than a "good morning" or a "thank you".

"nice to see you, (y/n). miss nitta, as you know," masamichi gestured to your teacher and then to the white-haired man, whose beauty never fails to amaze you, as cliche as it sounds, "and gojo satoru."

"nice to finally talk to you, miss (y/n)," he nods his head, wearing an attractive smile that had you sucking in a breath. you could only manage a smile at the moment, brought back to reality when masamichi's firm voice resonates in the office.

"you've done a tremendous job these past few months, love. we've been watching your roles this season, hopping from one position to the other with no problem at all. i'm sure you were informed that you were being considered to be principal..." you leaned forward in anticipation, "...although you'd have to let your skill shine through more before we promote you to principal any time soon."

bummer, but it's nothing you can't handle.

"we do have something to ask of you, however. your potential is clearly set in the right place, and your talent and determination are not lost. we want you to shadow and learn the repertoire of shoko ieiri and gojo satoru while they rehearse for the next season's premiere."

nevermind, it might actually be something you can't handle.

"me?"

masamichi only lets out a knowing smile. "are you up for the challenge, (y/n)? you'll get to learn and watch how principals rehearse, act and mime out the story in the hands of ballet masters and mistresses like kiyotaka ijichi and mei mei and even tengen hoshi."

your fingers dug into your thigh at the well-known names, always seeing them in the corridors but never knew how they taught or conducted rehearsals. this was your chance.

"of course, director masamichi. i'd be honoured to observe and shadow the company's principal dancers, let alone miss shoko ieiri and mr gojo satoru here. their chemistry onstage is honestly unmatched!"

okay, shut up, (y/n). you're laying your fangirling thoughts on the actual director of six eyes theatre. a simple yes would've sufficed.

"great! you start tomorrow. skip the afternoon class and come straight to the studio on the ground floor. we'll be expecting you."

you couldn't help the grin that appears on your face this time, passing a bow to everyone in the room before curtseying and almost exclaiming a "thank you!"

once you're out of the professional eye, you have a little celebratory dance outside the office, immediately fishing out your phone to text the trio.

"a...ah! gojo senpai!" you take a step back in instinct, the tall principal looming over you with nothing but an intimidating air around him.

however, nothing screams intimidating on his face, as he shoots you a polite smile and a hand to get introductions out of the way.

all you can think about is his large hand enveloping yours while he tells you his name. you're stuck in a trance, locked on his eyes cut off by the black of his sunglasses.

how would those hands feel on my hips when he's lifting me? or maybe we'd engage in a kiss in romeo and juliet...? are we doing r&j for the next season's shows?

fuck.

"uh- yes, nice to meet you too, senpai! i-"

"call me gojo, (y/n)."

you're at a loss for words, the man knowing he's left you speechless with the way he's smirking off into the other direction. you manage to get the prodigy out of your head, willing yourself to get to the company class as soon as possible. since your distraction was gone and the air cleared of any tension, you were able to hear the voices in the office.

"are you sure about this, nitta? we can't have any more dancers off their game just because they were enamoured with satoru to the point of confessing their love to him. every time we get first soloists and principals to pair with him, something always comes up."

"i'm sure, director. (y/n)'s mettle and focus on her roles are strong, and her skills are off the charts. if anything happens, we'll just pair her with another principal, like kento or something." masamichi sounded unconvinced, grunting as their footsteps increased in volume.

company class! company class!

you slipped into the studio just in time to avoid nitta and masamichi, carrying your things as you looked for the trio.

"(y/n)!" yuji catches your attention, although a little too loudly for your liking. you were left to greet the other dancers on the way to their corner, dumping your bag with much more exasperation than you expected.

"what's wrong?" megumi asks, doing some plies at the bar to warm up his feet and muscles.

"i think i should text y'all instead. let's wait for after the show tonight."

you get three nods from the trio in reply, dropping into some simple stretches as the next instructor takes over. at least gojo wasn't here...

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

the applause was deafening as you take your bow, thanking the audiences from the balcony and stalls as you gestured to your pas de deux partner, megumi. putting your hand in front of your heart was a big thing to do, giving thanks to one of your best friends and partners for a fun pair such as bluebird and princess florine.

as you walked back to join the other dancers, the principal roles were taking their bows with no doubt roars and cheers from the audience from yet another electrifying performance from the golden pair as princess aurora and prince florimund: gojo and ieiri.

as ieiri led the conductor on stage, he was the last to thank the audience, bringing the heart of the ballet to life with the score of tchaikovsky's sleeping beauty.

with one last bow, the curtain closes, leaving you to let loose from the rigid position you were used to.

"we're done!" you laugh, hugging megumi as nobara and itadori squeeze their way through the many dancers on stage. the two convey their compliments, prompting you to nudge the two on their puss-in-boots and white cat roles. the two then freeze up, staring at something that was approaching from behind.

"miss (y/n)-" gojo bows, interrupted by ieiri as she crashes into you with a hug.

"oh man, (y/n) you were great out there!" you grin, embracing her as tight as she did.

"thank you, senpai," you were practically beaming, thankful she still remembered you after being promoted to principal years ago. it was hard to communicate and talk when she had so much going on, a natural dancer who rose up the ranks fast with her hard work.

ieiri formed herself up into a refined dancer that you wouldn't think she was the young girl at your studio trying on pointe shoes for the first time years ago when you were a kid.

that was if you didn't know her personally, of course.

"here, first position, just like that!" the curious girl interacted with the kids outside a smaller studio, teaching them the various positions that at least a grade two or three class would use.

she picked up pointe work fast, obviously guided by the mentors at the school with nights of rehearsal and decision making whether she wanted to pursue this professionally.

"oh shush, you, you don't have to call me senpai, see you tomorrow (y/n)!"

ieiri bids you goodbye, no doubt to talk to the choreographers and director. gojo follow suit shortly after your exchange, not before taking your hand to plant a kiss on it.

you retract almost immediately after his lips descend on your skin, the area hot from the lighting, your sweat and your feelings.

nobara tsked, "what's his deal?" you let out a shaky sigh and shrug, hooking an arm around megumi's as you went around to mingle with the dancers.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

[nobara is typing...]

you're to shadow gojo-senpai and shoko-senpai?! no way???!?!1/!?!?

[itadori is typing...]

no way, that's so cool!

what was he like? was he in the office that day?

[(y/n) is typing...]

yeah, he was. not gonna lie, a bit cocky... kinda overheard that partners throw themselves at him sometimes too, which makes it a bit troublesome, lol.

and yes, kugisaki i'll need to observe them starting tomorrow. i cant come for the company class :(

[megumi is typing...]

Then what about Shoko-senpai?

you shake your head even though no one could see you, the forgotten tv series playing in the background while you text your friends instead.

[(y/n) is typing...]

she's too good for him, i think. they're long time friends too, but i'm not sure if any feelings blossomed since then tho

[nobara is typing...]

you don't like him, do you? i know you dont like guys that are full of themselves, altho that man rlly is that attractive .......

[itadori is typing...]

LMAOO whos the smitten one now

nobara sends a vibe check sticker, the one with both hands outstretched with a threatening stare into the screen.

[nobara is typing...]

i'll kill you tomorrow, yuji itadori.

[itadori is typing...]

you'd have to reach my height first, loser

[nobara is typing...]

you- UFGGHKHH

i'll kick your shins, thats what!!!!!!

you roll your eyes as the two of them get into another friendly banter, leaving the group chat to blow up in messages as you switch off the neglected tv.

there's a silence that feels almost too foreign, contrasting to the fact that you enjoyed silences daily. it felt criminal, almost, to be in such a quiet space with no one to fill in the gaps.

you look to your black and white poster for some clarity, the young boy standing at 16 with a softness in his eyes and a lengthened extension that conveyed his love of ballet to you.

you never knew who was the boy, getting a poster shoved into your hands in a hurry when you and your mom bought tickets to the local ballet competition. you never questioned the poster, nor had you caught the boy in the midst of his variation either, settling for a theory that his performance had already passed the day before.

"how do you think it's going to go down tomorrow?" you mumble to no one in particular, tossing and turning in your sheets that didn't quell your worries no matter how much you thrashed.

the dreamless slumber welcomes you into its arms almost immediately, although the morning after was the opposite.

"shit, shit, shit," was your mantra, jumping from place to place in your small apartment to get the things you needed for class. you manage to catch the bus in time, heading straight to the studio with no cup of tea in your hand as usual.

"(y/n)!" nobara grins, seeing you stumble through the door just as everyone finishes their individual warmups. the instructor greets everyone, eager to get into the class as soon as possible.

the thought of the rehearsal shook you up more than you thought it would, leaving you to let out nervous breaths that got worse by the time that class ended.

ieiri didn't miss the way you'd wipe your hands on your tights in worry, going over the steps more than you usually would. you had a killer memory, but it seemed that today that that ability had melted away at the sight of gojo.

"wish me luck, guys," you muttered, hurriedly packing up your things before heading off yourself. the trio only could give you a small smile, knowing you had wanted time to yourself to calm your nerves.

you had always done this for the many shows you starred in: the music and positions mimicking a recording. it was as clear as day when it replayed in your head, the different orchestral parts and the dynamic changes you apply to your steps to give the best performance, for performing your best was all that mattered. the trio understood instantly, always sending you off on your memory replay with an encouraging smile.

well, almost, for you didn't even know what the rehearsal entailed or what piece they would be dancing to.

"hi," your voice appeared meek in the big studio, the only three people there slowly getting warmed up to each other. your feet carried you into a curtsey.

"ah, mei mei-sensei! miss shoko and mr gojo," you acknowledged their presence, placing your things down right where you stood.

"let's begin then, shall we? for this is a gala event, the pas de deux couple will only be performing the entree and the adagio parts. there might be the possibility you two would have to rehearse your individual variations and the coda. still, the organisers haven't gotten back to us on the duration we'll be on stage for. with the switching in and out of the different repertoire, this year should align with don quixote. before we start, i wish that everyone is honest with each other; that way, we can learn from different views."

don quixote?! you hold in your excitement at the revelation, thinking back to the fiery portrayals of kitri and lively spanish music to pair with it. your excitement was on cloud nine while by fifteen minutes, your feet and body were seemingly screaming at you to take a break.

to say it was tiring was an understatement, at the very least. you were to only shadow ieiri's parts, and the absence of a male partner proved challenging when you were the first soloist mirroring a principal and her partner.

"(y/n) should try too, of course! come, come," mei mei beckons you over from where you went over the steps, fingers fidgeting with the waistband of the sheer skirt you'd just bought a few days ago.

"i trust that you are familiar with the wedding PDD, (y/n)?" mei mei asks.

you nod eagerly, not missing the way ieiri beams at your enthusiasm.

"good. we'll just try this part on your own. remember to keep yourself lifted and trust your partner," mei mei eyes you while gojo was already getting comfortable with a hand on your back, "would you like to try it without the music first?"

you nod cautiously. you take note of the way it burns like fire, the contact of his skin on yours. oh god, you wished you had wiped the sweat from it, although the other didn't seem to mind it due to the many partners he's worked with before.

with a quick glance, you snuck a look at the tall dancer, never much prepared for the striking blue of his eyes. however, this time, the cheeky gojo appeared to be kept under wraps, bringing forth a more solemn and nervous exterior. he did seem different and quiet, even catching the attention of mei mei-sensei and ieiri herself. they opted not to say anything.

nevertheless, the two of you narrate the lifts and steps, mixing in the counts with the french vocabulary that stuck with you throughout the years. you were surprised at how much leeway gojo had provided you, allowing you to move freely while bringing you back effortlessly for the couple work.

a smile formed on your face at the flow of your steps as the music plays seamlessly in your mind with how much you've watched different renditions of the wedding pas de deux.

"with the music now, my dears."

ieiri shoots you a thumbs-up, noticeably more tired than you, as she massages the bottom of her feet with calculated force.

the piano starts as the pas de deux passes by smoothly with minimal mishaps, save for some off balances here and there. as always, your hand tingles when it comes in contact with the principal's, willing the quick heartbeats away by thinking of his cocky smirk the other day. with the easy beginning completed, the lifts were now appearing more often.

"hold your body up during the fish dive (y/n), hold your back and position!" gojo stumbles a bit at your mistake, but for the second time around, you manage to get it, coming up from the tricky step into a beautiful arabesque.

a hasty nod, and you're off, pulling away from gojo a tad bit quicker than how you wanted to initiate it. he's taken by surprise at your change of personality, wondering where the flustered soloist had gone to previously. with the same corrections directed at you, mei mei gives you a "good job" before bringing ieiri back in.

"we'll cap you two's pas de deux at that point before the turns. ieiri, you ready to get back into it?" she hesitantly nods, albeit more relaxed than the earlier exchange.

the music starts again, and this time, you manage to gape at the couple's artistry, weaving over and under to fit the delicate notes of minkus' score. with the many turns and tour en l'airs, it now came to the difficult part of the pas de deux: where the woman will wind their hand around the man's single finger, engaging in two turns connected only by that single contact point.

they complete it easily, leaving ieiri to then balance en pointe with one leg suspended in the air. the two repeat it again with no problem, except for the fatigue seeping through their faces at a few moments in time.

as the music reaches its climax, so does the movements with increasing pirouettes and lifts. their chests heave with exhaustion, but their smiles showed that they were satisfied with the run.

it was hard to believe that gojo and ieiri only started to rehearsed this a few weeks ago, especially since these were leading roles with a reasonably complex pas de deux to pair with. nothing seemed to faze them as they received the feedback from mei mei, nor did they have trouble correcting the lift that had gone wrong earlier or the balance that ieiri fell out of.

so this was what it meant to be a principal.

"(y/n)! any feedback that you'd like to give to the two?"

"h..huh, me? i'm not sure if it'd be helpful to-"

"nonsense, hit us, (y/n). rehearsals are always a place for feedback," ieiri grins, taking your hand to bring you closer to the three of them.

"well, i think... i'll comment on the repeated melody where you'll go from the turns into the attitude balance is where it's a bit difficult. since gojo-senpai is tall, he might've put his hand a little too high. i mean, of course, lifting up is ideal, but ieiri-senpai might have some trouble balancing because of that."

they wordlessly try it out without the music, noting how gojo places his hand at a lower height for ieiri. it might've felt foreign, but it looked a tad bit better to you, with a better centre of gravity and stability.

"yeah! like that!" a smile dons your face, "does it feel better, senpai?"

"tons," gojo simply states, almost too eagerly as blue eyes uncharacteristically boring into yours. opposed to the quick glances he always gave you along the corridor or within classes, this one was a strange, longing one. ieiri's voice snaps you out of the spell, almost not wanting to leave his stare.

"way better, thank you (y/n)," she pats your arm before turning to the sound of mei mei's voice.

"alright, beautiful legs and extensions, but we still have a lot to work on, as well as getting (y/n) accustomed to more pas de deux and principal work. would you like to stay on (y/n)?"

you admired your own determination, but sometimes it was better to take a break. having just attempted the coda, you could already feel blisters forming due to your prolonged use of pointe shoes. with a breath, you let gojo complete his pirouettes, restraining the sigh coming from your lips at the perfect revolutions and momentum he had going.

a little more, and you were close to catching a breath, finishing off a quadruple pirouette and tour en l'air with gojo's help. with a slight stumble, you let out a startled laugh before taking your last step with a knee to the floor. with palm outstretched, the piano does a trill before ending off on a chord.

out of the corner of your eye, you spot gojo smiling down at you, a beam that doesn't come often with how much confidence he carries around the company.

ieiri applauds first, followed by mei mei's impressed smile.

"you execute your fouettes well, (y/n)," you bow your head in thanks, brought up unconsciously with gojo's hand as it stays linked in yours.

"thank you, mei mei-sensei. i'm just glad to have tried it out; the don Q coda is one of my favourites," you gush, "the costumes, the music is just everything."

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"to dance with your partner is one thing, but the connection is another. translate the story of the elation of kitri - her father finally gives his blessing for their wedding, and she's excited to the moon. basilio is marrying the girl of his dreams. know what and who you're dancing for." mei mei speaks over the music easily, giving pointers they go over the steps like always.

"i know it's just an empty stage. there's no set, no scene to show the joy all around the cast, but you still are dancing as kitri and basilio," mei mei says after, "let's try again with (y/n)."

rehearsals carried on like this, day after day. some days longer than the other, and on others, you were paired with another first soloist. however, he wasn't tasked with shadowing the couple every day, so the pas de deux was left to you to master.

as you wipe your sweat, ieiri waves her towel in front of you, "wanna have lunch with us?"

"i don't want to intrude-"

"it's gojo's treat," ieiri whispers, "plus he doesn't treat people often."

"is he okay with me coming alo-" she pulls on you, leaving you no choice but to pack your things hurriedly.

"(y/n)'s coming, yea?" ieiri mumbles quickly, hooking her arm around yours in a hassle as you try to keep your things from falling out of your bag.

"i'd like that." gojo says to no one, finally catching up to you two after switching off the studio lights.

"whaaaat, you're leaving so fast?" you pout, eyeing ieiri's neat tray of finished food as gojo lets her pass through in the booth.

"i'm sorry you have to stay here with this dumbass (y/n), but i have a date with the orthopaedic today," ieiri groans.

"like an actual date?" gojo jokes.

"no," she rolls her eyes, "my muscles are acting up a little lately. plus, my arch hurts more often than it usually does. it's best to just check it out, i guess. but yeah, an actual date would be nice, too."

you shrug, "eh, hard to come by when you're a busy ballet dancer in a company. bye, senpai!" you and gojo wave to her as she leaves the diner, now coming to terms with the fact that you were alone with the charming dancer, as much as you hated to admit it.

with his perfect hair and long eyelashes and the enchanting smirk he always seems to wear. not to mention the sheer strength in his leaps in contrast to the delicate grip on your waist-

"thinking about me, love? of course you are."

"what? no!" you stiffen, the blush on your cheeks immediately giving away your thoughts.

"for the record, i've thought of you, too," gojo drops a bomb, leaning over the table to plant a gentle kiss upon your cheek before leaving the booth in a hurry.

you were thankful that he was gone, at least and thankful for the empty diner, leaving you to melt in a puddle of confusion and warmth.

just like the first rehearsal, your cheeks feel hot, as does your body. the place where his lips touched seemed to burn a hole through, your gaping mouth failing to close even after a minute of staring into nothing.

fishing out your phone was the first thing your mind sought out from the endless thoughts in your head.

nobara, nobara, nobara... gotta find her contact..!

[nobara is typing...]

he WHAT???!??@

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"ieiri-senpai, what's a pas de deux to you?" you mumble after rehearsals one day, picking at the tape stuck in between your toes.

"it would have to be what mei mei said, definitely. she still says the same exact thing till today: dance and connection are two different things. and it can't go to the point where two different stories are being told by the male and female dancer. you'll need to go into pas de deux work with a mindset that you come in a pair. every correction and every emotion needs to be felt by both parties for it to reach the audiences."

"what about you?" the question catches you by surprise, resorting to humming as you think of the answer.

"it's something along the lines of your answer and mei mei-sensei's definition. you'd have to be on the same wavelength as your partner. every extension that appears or a gentle port de bras is meant to show the character's personality. you'd also have to think of the context of the ballet, i guess," you stop yourself, looking at gojo as he finishes a tour en l'air en passe. three revolutions and you realise that a. you're staring and b. you were talking way too much.

"sorry! i'm rambling again," you splutter, going back to your original task of taking out the tape from your toes.

ieiri giggles, "no, no! ramble all you want. i love listening to my juniors talk about how much they love ballet."

"sleeping beauty, just like the show a week ago, is set in the royal court, so it's hard to show aurora's personality. she's a little playful and young, although it's hard to slip that in when the wedding pas de deux for that is so grand. and then you'll compare it to the black swan in swan lake, where it's also in a royal court, but odile's the one deceiving siegfried, so there's an opportunity to include some side-eyeing in it. i personally love zenaida's version," you trailed off, "i mean, of course, there's also-"

"then what about odette?" gojo shouts across the studio, with his hands on his hips. the white of his hair matched the pureness of odette's tutu, something you always wished to wear and dance and master when you got accepted into six eyes theatre.

"don't mind him-"

your words take precedence without effort, "with the white swan, odette has to show the struggle of her spell with the frantic miming that she has to do. 'i'm the queen of the swans, rothbart the bastard turned me into a swan' and so on and so forth. because she's a swan, she has to imitate the gentle way that swans move, along with the technical challenges of the pas de deux. she's very soft and fragile, and the violin makes it all the better in showing the shyness and fear in odette."

two pairs of eyes stare at you curiously as the male's smirk leaves you to break into a nervous laugh as you fidget with your fingers.

"sorry, i'm talking a lot. too much. do carry on with your jumps," a small apologetic smile appears on your face, failing to note gojo's hesitation to move from his spot and his interest in the way you can talk endlessly about the art.

gojo's smirk merges into a smile even when he accomplishes the many pirouettes demanded of him. he'd want to hear it from your lips next time when you're wrapped up in each other.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"don't you think he's a little bit too confident for his own good?" nobara whispers to you. with rehearsals off for a few days, you were able to see your best friends again, munching up the calories lost from the afternoon class.

"yeah... for all we know, he might be stumbling around in rehearsals and picking up girls," megumi muttered.

you rolled your eyes, "he's... not like that, guys. he is confident in class and seems a bit cocky, but that's because he really does live up to his name."

"we might not know much, either. (y/n) has been in rehearsals with the guy. he's probably more focused when there are lesser people in the room," yuji chats through his food, gaining disgusted looks from the three of you when lettuce and chicken litter the table.

"well... don't go falling for the guy, yeah? i've beaten up too many exes in the past," megumi tsked, devouring the salad bowl in front of him.

"yeah, but i didn't ask you to, plus you'd do it anyway. didn't even have to ask," you grin, leaning back in your chair triumphantly.

"if i beat up gojo-senpai, i'll probably get jailed."

you and yuji stifle a laugh at his comment, but nobara doesn't seem impressed with the joke, instead focused more on you and your reactions.

you weren't actually developing feelings... right?

the memory and kiss linger in your mind like a stubborn stain, not forgetting the intense stare nobara had given you before you said goodbye to the three. a vibration from your phone snaps you out of the daze, opening your chat group to answer your friends.

[nobara is typing...]

how was rehearsal today?!???! we jsut finished class

also it's been so long since we saw u :(

[(y/n) is typing...]

so good as always is that even a question luv xx

theyre both so talented as individuals as they r in a pdd... it was rlly insightful too!

gojo-senpai kept staring at me today for some reason tho. he felt different today, a little more reserved and whatnot

[megumi is typing...]

Maybe he felt intimidated by your skill lol

"i'll take my leave first, (y/n)! i've got an errand to run. mei mei's accompanying me," ieiri grins, bringing you into a sweat-filled hug. she's used to soaked leotards, even if the grimace on your end doesn't go unnoticed by the principal.

she lets out a chuckle, "you'll get used to mixed sweat and whatnot, (y/n). see ya!"

curtseying comes easy, bidding goodbye to the principal and the ballet mistress.

you were ready to go back to the conversation on your phone, although a call of your name distracted you from the conversation.

"yes...? gojo?" you mumbled, the last name feeling foreign on your lips without the honorific at the back. you put your phone away as the studio immediately diminishes in size, seemingly putting the two of you in a tight space with nowhere to go. it certainly felt like it, with the wordless prompt of his hand.

"try the pas de deux with me," gojo proposes, pulling up a piano rendition of the score on spotify. it wasn't hard to spot the mischievous sparkle in his eye, along with the attractive grin plastered on his face.

the studio appeared calmer now that ieiri and mei mei had left, yet the conflict in your mind was loud and unwelcomed. it felt like a battle between the angel and the devil, and you were sure the devil was nobara herself, screeching at you to remind you of the shit-ton amount of conceitedness he had.

"are we allowed to? don't other people need to use the studio?" you mumble, standing up with the help of gojo nevertheless.

you're playing right into his hand, yet you took it anyway.

he waves a hand, "it's fine; you do know the pas de deux, don't you? we didn't go over it together much, but i'm sure the past rehearsals served you well."

the beginning was refined, having done it earlier with mei mei's help. it was mostly the only thing the two of you went over when mei mei was around, leaving the more complicated parts to ieiri. the fish dive comes naturally this time, imagining the glowing lights and the striking wedding tutu that kitri sports in the third act.

there are howls of laughter at the many mishaps after that. knowing you hadn't rehearsed any of it with your partner, nor with the music before, it was only fair that accidents were to happen.

"no, no, if you let me go, i will kill you- ah! gojo!" you threaten, but it's lost in your mouth as he spins you way too many times, letting a loud shriek escape your mouth.

from a failed pirouette to a fish dive where he almost dropped you (he didn't), the laughter spilling from yours and his lips weren't common in a company class with everyone trying to dance their best.

"hey, hey, lay off the hair!" gojo quips, catching your off-balanced pirouette with a secure hand on the waist. you went along with the music, anyway, giving your exaggerated interpretation of kitri just as the music builds up. that earns a laugh from him, skillfully guiding you through even with the light banter in the room

"here it comes," he mutters to you, feeling the support of gojo's hands on yours as he pushes you off the complete the double attitude turn before hearing a loud ‘thwap!’.

"fuck, sorry! oh my god," you apologise, retracting your leg almost immediately after the collision.

"ah, shit," gojo exclaims, rubbing the side of his thigh as he brings you down gently. there's a frown on his face as you take a peek at the place you hit, the only thoughts running through your head being the articles or scandals you might be caught in.

(y/n) attempting to harm six eyes theatre's golden principal dancer? (y/n)'s downfall full of jealousy? (y/n) and the infamous gojo caught in a fight?

a giggle gets you out of the trenches, hands revealed like a finished magician's act.

"i was kidding; that didn't hurt one bit," gojo jokes, hands naturally reaching forward to place them on your hips, "loosen up a bit, (y/n)."

"i am loose!" your mouth falls into a straight line, "shit that sounded bad, didn't it?" bursting into laughter, your head falls onto his shoulder as your hand reaches up to grasp at his forearm before recovering from the unexpected joke.

as the pas de deux fades off into nothing, only your breaths could be heard in the large studio, blending with the cold air of the air-conditioning and the hot breaths coming from your mouths. strings play softly from the phone, but all you can hear is the echo of the familiar melody as if it was being played in an auditorium.

gojo gives you a gentle smile that you reciprocate, stuck in that annoying hypnotisation of his blue eyes and the same soft look he gives you whenever you aren't looking.

you were looking now, though, and you'd like it even better if time stood still for you to savour this moment.

"would you like to go on a date with me (y/n)?"

there it was, the million-dollar question. it wasn't like you imagined this every night before you slept or whether he'd perform a flashy proposal to ask you out.

but even then, you thought back to the smirks he directed at every other dancer, you thought back to the conversation in masamichi's office, you thought back to nobara's advice.

"surely you're not thinking of getting wooed by gojo satoru, are you? it's dangerous, (y/n), i'm sure you know that."

"fuck, i know! but then he kisses my cheek that one time and everything feels right again. he jokes with me in rehearsals and nudges me when mei mei-sensei compliments me. he treats me to lunch and looks at me with so much passion i almost want to believe it. these past weeks of rehearsals have taught me well in dance, but i'm sure it's making my love life miserable with how much he looks at me and then goes back to flirting with the other dancers."

"i'm sorry, i can't, gojo."

you make haste with the way you're scurrying out of the studio, breaking into a jog to make sure he doesn't catch after you.

you should've said yes, right? with how much he's been building up the courage these past few weeks, careful not to let ieiri spot his sneaky glances. even the kiss on your cheek left his heart pumping long after he's left the diner.

all that to leave him in the dust.

gojo lays in bed that day, eyes fully open as he struggles to get some rest, unaware of the similar turmoil you were going through. the dancer managed to sleep after innumerable amounts of overthinking, departing from consciousness with thoughts of you, just like he always has.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

there weren't any tears involved on your end, save for some of the glossy looks you've given your black and white poster as you played with your pillowcase in anxiety.

you dreaded the next rehearsal, knowing you had to face gojo sooner or later, especially with how you reacted to his question.

"mei mei-sensei, gojo," his name was muttered instead, embarrassed with the way you rushed out of the studio the previous day. mei mei looks between the two of you, clapping her hands together to get your attention.

"ieiri pulled a nerve around her arch, which was why we've been going to the orthopaedic more often. it's a minor injury, and she's resting right now, so we'll have to work with the two of you first. we'll stop at where we always do but feel free to continue if you feel comfortable."

great. it had to be on a day where i couldn't possibly face gojo.

he says nothing at that, both you and the pianist unsure of whether you were to continue.

gojo was still in his a game, hitting every leap and lifting you without much struggle. you, not so much, as the words you said to him replayed in your head like a broken record.

you fell off your balances, you couldn't portray kitri well, you felt the weight of your body get heavier with each repeated thought of the day before. hell, even your practice tutu felt heavy.

he sighs again for the umpteenth time as the music stops, the two of you receiving the same criticism from the previous run. mei mei tries her best to be polite, although you can tell she's losing her patience as well.

"(y/n)? what's gotten into you? i understand every dancer has their bad days, but today appears terrible with the silent treatment you two are giving each other."

you swallow at the question, taking a shaky breath before opening your mouth. you look to gojo for help, but his eyes evade yours by looking at the floor with arms crossed. his head whips toward you with your following words.

"he asked me... on a date. i rejected him, rushed out the studio," you mutter, tracing the fabric of the tutu hanging on your hips.

"you asked her out on a date?" mei mei states in disbelief, looking at the ballerino with a face full of perplexity.

"yeah, i did, and i would do it again," the last whisper is lost to you, unable to hear because of the distance between you and him.

"wh- why? what's wrong with that?" you ask mei mei-sensei, yet again being pulled in by the sky blue of his eyes before looking to the ballet mistress.

"mei mei-"

"gojo never asks anyone out. ever. i'm sure you're the first one."

you can see gojo deflate at that at the corner of your eye, shoulders sagging forward in defeat while mei mei takes the chance to leave for you to sort things out.

"what...?" was the only thing you could muster, eyes following your instructor as she exits the space.

"you two are dismissed for now. talk to him about it and resolve your problem," she waves a hand at you, the tension growing by the second as she's entirely out of the studio.

"gojo?" you ask cautiously, stepping up to him to pull him from the position he was in.

"you believe the rumours, the articles, don't you?" he says, completely unrelated to the situation at hand. the look he gives you was something you couldn't figure out, snatching his arm out of your grip as he puts some distance between the two of you.

"you think i'm some cocky bitch who's just strutting around the company, free to do my own thing?" the other says it in a quiet tone, but it didn't make it less menacing than if he were to shout it.

"do you think i enjoy the way the female dancers throw themselves at me when i'm trying to focus on my mistakes and corrections? you think i enjoy the annoying ass articles written about me?"

with each question, gojo doesn't fail to intimidate you, taking a step each time until you're cornered against the barre. those questions are left unanswered as gojo's eyes bore into yours, losing its usual spark when he glances at you during the pas de deux or when he's laughing at a joke you made over lunch.

"do you think i enjoy being talked about every. single. time?! when i'm passing in the corridors, in masamichi's office, in the company classes, among the little trio you have going on. when i asked you out, it was because i genuinely felt that i could connect to you: with no wrong assumptions or bad impressions," gojo runs a hand through his sweaty hair, the frustrated emotions he felt seeping through into his speech.

"...everything felt so fake to me while getting to know you were the only real thing i could cherish when i get to hold you during the pas de deux, or when my lips landed on your cheek. it was the only real thing that brought on your blush that i imagine your lips on mine way too much."

you chose to ignore the way your heart flutters at the confession, staring up at him with apparent conflict on your face.

"then why can't you just ignore them? i'd expect someone like you to not give a shit about what people think," you whisper.

"you got to know the wrong gojo, then. just like right now, i can't face what others have to murmur around about me."

"right now...?" you caught onto his words fast, your eyes immediately spotting the curious faces of both your friends and a few other dancers fighting for a spot to watch you two through the studio door's glass.

"c'mon, pack up, let's not talk here," gojo states. within seconds, the two of you were out the door with your hand clasped in his. you were quick on your feet to leave the premises, naturally following gojo's lead to an unknown building.

letting go of his hand, you explore the space, taking note of every tiny little thing that made the apartment his own.

"sorry for the mess. i live alone and hardly clean the apartment." the nervousness from the studio stayed, the other opting to remain at the doorway in worry. the silence in the apartment grows, your eyes now trained to the floor as gojo suddenly speaks up.

"i couldn't ignore them, (y/n). their expectations disguised as gossip and rumours allowed me to perform properly. i was afraid of disappointment, of getting ridiculed if i were to make mistakes on stage. any slip-up was seen by the company's sponsors, critics, everyone. their eyes were always on me, and i could never let myself get eaten up by the articles."

"the industry is filled with competition and talent. anyone can replace anyone at any given time; you'd have to have a mind of steel to not get affected by every little thing!"

his eyes meet the back of your head, the fatigue leaking through the lines of his eyes and face. as you turn around, you meet his exhausted ones, and, step by step, you approach the man.

"i can't say i have that mind of steel that i mentioned. i hardly come close to it, (y/n). i'm happy with the company, i'm content with my place, and i'm terribly in love with ballet, but... i'm so tired, really."

your expression of unsaid pity was all you could offer, bringing gojo into a hug as he wrapped his arms around you. the way he relaxed told you of the safe space you provided, while his tight, squeezing arms showed he hasn't embraced in a long time.

a minute or two passes, relishing in the now comfortable silence as the other collects himself.

"i'm laying everything on you, fuck, i'm sorry."

you shake your head into his chest, "don't apologise, you idiot. i should be the one saying sorry for rushing off like that," pulling away, you were heartbroken to see the shine of his tears waiting to cascade down his cheeks.

"i'm sorry i ran off. i was afraid, for a different reason. my rational side always protects my heart, knowing i've had bad experiences with friends and connections. if i couldn't sustain a friendship, who was i to jump into a relationship?" you hand trails to his nape to mindlessly play with the hair there as a form of habit with your own hair.

"it was brave of you, putting yourself out so vulnerably when i only looked at the surface of what you were. i'm sure it felt like those weeks of getting to know each other meant something to you, and i threw it away in fear that you'd leave me after a few months."

"so please don't apologise, i'm sorry i ever made you feel like shit because i didn't know about the weight on your shoulders."

a smile graces your face, the hand on his nape going back to his cheek.

"and stop crying; it doesn't make your eyes look good," you whisper, wiping the tears before they fall as gojo lets out a chuckle.

"you think my eyes look good?"

you roll your eyes, "god, who wouldn't? it's like looking at the sky and the ocean all at the same time. and when you stare at me? i always have trouble looking away from you because of how striking they are."

"are they now?" distracted from the emotional vomit earlier, he grins at your description of him. you're lucky to have your hands on his cheeks just so you can feel the effect you have on him every time you offer a compliment.

"are you done complimenting me?"

"i've only commented on your eyes, though. would you like me to continue?"

"i think you should kiss me first."

you're taken aback by gojo's boldness, a surprised expression appearing at the question. the way he looks at you beats the gazes through the mirror as he warms up and the look of interest over his bowl of miso soup. it beats the glances at you during the company classes and the short, fleeting glimpses as you move together during the pas de deux. it beats every single one that your head descends back into his chest, shy at the look of adoration he was giving you.

"can i really?" you whisper in his shirt, refusing to look up even when he pulls away from your embarrassment.

as his arms unwind themselves from your middle, he crouches down to reach your eye and bring you back from a world of uneasy firsts.

"is it your first?"

this was when gojo satoru was at his rawest, with his hands cupped around your cheeks in the slowly darkening apartment as he prepares himself to kiss you.

"it is."

gojo says nothing after that, the moment of silence feeling like forever before his lips meet yours. the sunset coming in from his windows hits at the right time, because then you'd be able to point at it and describe the colours you feel when his mouth moves against yours. you'd be able to sense your heart pumping and blood flowing more clearly than when you've just finished a demanding combination of steps when he encircles his arms around you to bring you closer.

without choreographed steps, nothing feels more fitting than a kiss full of passion that isn't in a pas de deux. ironically, it was the ones you enjoyed more, more than the kisses in romeo & juliet or in manon.

oxygen becomes scarce, then, prompting you to break away from gojo just as your heart fills up with joy, way more than you can fathom.

you crash your lips into his again, now catching him off-guard. he melts into it with no problem, a laugh spilling from his lips at your eagerness.

"i like you a lot, tons, (y/n). i don't say this often, but i like you."

"it's too early to say it's love, right? because i think i like you too, a lot, tons."

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

you agreed to keep it under wraps for now, with you planning to leave half n' hour later to avoid suspicion. the dancer sacrificed his Z's so you could catch them instead, although you continued to lay awake in his bed watching the white-haired man get ready.

"are you sure the floor wasn't uncomfortable? you could've just used your own bed, y'know."

he only shakes his head, "'s okay. my back was acting up, anyway. it was basically free therapy."

you laugh at that, now sitting up fully to admire gojo's physique. with how affectionate and sweet he is behind closed doors, you swore that he was a different man. he shoots you a finger gun and a wink, knowing the way he's got you wrapped around his finger.

"see you later," gojo whispers, landing a peck on you before taking off on his own. it wasn't long before you had to get up, taking in the room and its decorative spaces. he has ballet posters and photos of his friends; he even had a diffuser.

a yawn takes over you as your hands land on the shirt on you.

fuck, you didn't have anything clean to wear. gojo had provided you with a shirt and pants from his wardrobe yesterday, rejecting his briefs with a laugh. with no bra, you decided to just use a spare leotard you keep in your bag, settling for the clothes gojo had lent you the day before.

the theatre felt different when you entered, heading straight for the studio to avoid any more prying eyes from the younger dancers.

"hey," you say, rubbing at your eyes to the trio warming up their feet.

nobara gasps, grasping at your hand immediately to pull you down onto the floor.

"are you good?" she mumbles, staring at your face for any signs of hurt or crying.

"do i need to beat him up?" megumi challenges, flexing his bicep as a joke, "i've been working out more."

"i'll go tell him off for you, (y/n)!" yuji grins, preparing to quite literally stand up to head over to the other corner of the room.

"no! i mean, yes, i'm good. please don't beat him up, and... sit down, yuji." you sigh.

"nothing... happened, guys. i know what it looked like in the studio yesterday but there wasn't any catfights or physical fights," you pause, looking at megumi, your hands instinctively going to the pouch where you kept your shoes, "we figured out our problem and solved it, that's all."

"so why are you wearing his shirt, then?" nobara shoots without hesitation, causing you to halt your movements for a bit. beside you, you can hear yuji choking on his water.

"i... we.. uhm," you trail off, trying to find the right words to fill in the gaps of your explanation. your eyes flit around the room before landing on gojo's, finding that his were already fixed on you.

"uh... yeah... we cleared up our differences and talked a bit," you mutter, lips breaking into a smile before you break eye contact with him. the trio stay dumbfounded at your word vomit, witnessing the exchange with the principal dancer with puzzlement.

"oh my god, did you guys fuck?" nobara whispers.

"what? no!" you laugh, whacking her shoulder as you stood up to loosen up your feet, preparing for the class conducted by masamichi himself today.

"i'll explain everything when i get back home, okay?" you say to the three of them, stuck in a side hug with nobara as her arm stay loosely wrapped around your waist.

they can only offer you their nods, bidding you goodbye with a slight wave.

as you enter the same rehearsal studio, there's only a single lone dancer in it, stretching over in a middle split as he scrolls on his phone mindlessly.

"hey," you call out to gojo, setting your bag of things down while you run up to him. he stands up instantly, pulling you into an embrace that shocks you with the sheer force of it.

"did you already miss me? that's fast."

he mumbles into your hair, "mhmm... shut up, please."

you laugh at that, recovering from the hug despite the other's protests.

"c'mon, i need to warm up, plus we're supposed to keep this a secret, right?"

gojo whines but lets you go anyway, but not before he plants a kiss on your hand as he lets you do your own thing. the next set of footsteps catch you in surprise, eyes widening at her presence when you run up to her in excitement.

"ieiri-senpai! are you feeling better?" you ask, peeking around at her feet, where she limped on earlier.

"yes, i am, (y/n)," she pats your head and realises your choice of clothing. you noticed her smirk, but before you could counter her question, she beats you to it, "and... i've seen that the dumbass finally made a move."

there's no denying the blush that makes its way onto your cheeks, seemingly oblivious to the stares from everyone when in reality, they were curious to know of what happened the day before.

"yeah, i guess he did," you sigh dreamily, giving off your feelings as ieiri could only smile at your situation.

mei mei enters the room with authority, making you perk up at her words as she walks to the centre of the barre with purpose.

"i trust that you've solved everything, yes? because you two have been quite the talk around the studio," mei mei states, braiding her hair into a side braid as ieiri takes a seat.

"i took her hand to get away from the crowd, sensei. if anything, i should be blamed for engaging in contact that might've given off the assumption that we were dating," gojo steps up.

"but you are dating, aren't you?" mei mei grins, putting on her shoes.

"i..." you tried to speak, but gojo interrupts you before then.

"only if she'll have me, then yes, we are."

you fight back a smile, stepping forward to catch his hand in yours. he's shaking, not at all the confident gojo satoru that you've become so accustomed to.

"yes," your single affirmation holds so much weight, looking up at him with as much joy as he did with you in the morning.

"okay, good! i've gone through enough of gojo staring at you from across the room. let's continue," mei mei casually says, "i'm sure (y/n) has heard the news, yes?"

she's quick to pull you out of your thoughts of gojo looking at you during rehearsals with the question of the news that left you texting the trio at 1am.

[nitta-sensei is typing...]

(y/n)? do you have a minute to spare?

[(y/n) is typing...]

yes sensei?

what seems to be the...

you're cut off by the abrupt phone call as gojo brushes his teeth, speaking to you, though incoherently, through the foam and lather in his mouth.

"yes, nitta-sensei? what is it?"

"i'm sorry for conveying this news over the phone, and i was too excited to wait until the next day. you might or might not like it, but... you're to replace ieiri in the gala event for now." by now, gojo had stopped brushing due to your lack in reply.

he peeks his head out of the bathroom as nitta continues, "she has to heed her orthopaedic's advice and take a break for now, but since you've been shadowing the two for a good amount of time, masamichi thinks its best you take up the role of the female part."

your jaw stays dropped even after nitta says her goodbyes, the phone lit up due to your shock.

"(y/n)? what happened?"

"i'm going to be dancing with you, gojo," you say quietly, "i'm dancing the pas de deux with you!"

you bow your head in acknowledgement, "yes, i have."

ieiri sees the hesitation since now the original dancer was seated in front of you. she shoots you a double thumbs-up as motivation while mei mei briefs you on the gala like she did with the couple at the start.

it's short, and within the next moment, you're already flying through the sky with gojo's help. the steps start to become more apparent and distinct to you, letting the pianist lead the way as the lifts and pair work merge together like a seamless thread.

mei mei is firm in her teaching, knowing your weaknesses and strengths by heart with the past rehearsals that she's done. stopping the two of you before letting ieiri take over was routine, but for now, ieiri contributes with her wisdom from the chair instead.

the rehearsal progresses slowly, opting instead to complete it bit by bit as the weeks turn into days and the days turn into hours. you had to take extra care of your feet, icing them and making sure your blisters don't distract you as rehearsals extend longer to ensure your best performance.

when you had your own commitments, your best friends had theirs, fulfilling principal or first soloist roles just for the gala. there was hardly any time for you to see the trio, but you made up with late facetime calls and online dinners with them.

even with the distance in the company class, gojo never fails to make it up to you with kisses under the moonlight as you watch video after video on don quixote, although taking a specific liking to the pairing of nuñez and muntagirov.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"you ready?" gojo lets out a nervous breath, already hearing the chatter of the gala attendees behind the curtains. beside you, other dancers are warming up for their own parts. some were doing a solo while others were doing a pas de deux like you were, but nonetheless, everyone gathered here was to share the love for ballet.

"hell no, i'm shaking," you laugh, playing with the elastic that was to go over your middle finger. a beautiful, white tutu was tailored just for you with minor tweaks from ieiri's tutu while they were in the midst of completing it. to honour and perform the role of kitri gave you immense joy and excitement, even though you were jittery at the responsibility passed on to you.

"how are you doing?" nobara asks, making you jump at the sudden voice. she lets out a giggle, "sorry."

"i'm... very nervous. is that even a question?" you ask her, holding onto her exposed shoulder a little too tightly. she dons a breathtaking, flowy costume with puffy sleeves and intricate detail. at the same time, yuji was suited up as nobara's partner in a pair of yellow tights, completing the couple look in the comedy-filled la fille mal gardée.

"oi, hot pants, come here! my partner's here finally after taming his hair," nobara jokes, pulling yuji over. they lean into each other's sides naturally, posing with peace signs and big smiles that they were asked to convey to the audience.

"good luck out there," megumi catches your attention, awkward as can be, as he pulls you in for a hug. his pas de deux partner is smiling at you beside him, taking your hand in hers.

"your rehearsals with gojo-senpai are incredible, (y/n)-senpai! all the best for your performance later," she bows, clearly relieved at saying the things she wanted to say.

"all the best for your le corsaire, too," you grin, waving them off excitedly before joining your basilio at the hip.

"you'll do great out there, trust me," gojo places a peck on your temple, holding you close by the waist as you warm up together. there's shared laughter between the two of you, exchanging jokes to calm your nerves and keep your mind moving. with the rush hour backstage, it was imminent that the show was starting soon, the many dancers continuing their warmup without trouble.

only you seemed to be on edge, performing as the first couple of the night for a role you've always loved and adored while watching from the balcony of auditoriums.

"i will. we will." you nod, hands twined with the other's as the curtains make their way up.

"breathe. we'll nail this like we always do," gojo kisses your linked hands, staring down at you with those same eyes you fell in love with. a smile replaced what you couldn't say out loud, bumping your head into his chest as an affectionate gesture, "let's go."

among the cheers and blinding lights, you could only focus on gojo's hand on the small of your back as he led you out. with practised steps, nothing could faze you except, maybe, his dazzling smile and the gentle eyes he has on you for the whole pas de deux.

living the life of an innkeeper's daughter was what you had to portray. while your 'father' was hesitant at first, he's finally given you the blessing to marry your lover, basilio. the glimmering tutu and effortless partnership was only half the job done, and for the radiant smile you had on at the moment, you hoped at least ieiri and mei mei would be proud of the story you were telling together with gojo.

the feeling from rehearsals is amplified on stage, with the orchestra's power and the costumes, providing you with a feeling like no other. and as gojo approaches with a flawless tour en l'air, you realise that with how much work you put in behind the scenes, the result always pays off.

as gojo has his hands on your waist, twirling you around like nothing in a quadruple pirouette, you realise that every step was made possible with the help of ieiri and mei mei and your best friends and lastly, gojo satoru.

the golden, treasured prodigy which you somehow managed to develop feelings for. the talented principal who whines when you won't refuse to give him affection and the once-cocky individual who softens just at the sight of you.

and as the music reaches the end, you want nothing more than to stay in this pas de deux with gojo satoru, in a dance of two.

you end off on an incredible note, chest heaving from the demanding technicalities of the pas de deux. nevertheless, your brain shuts out the thunderous applause, with some imparting you with their standing ovations and others who decided to scream 'bravo!' at the stage.

gojo offers a grin, bringing you close with a hand as you thank the audience with endless curtseys. bowing to your partner was next, thanking him for the interminable rehearsals and that hectic day of emotion from the studio right up to his home.

you almost practically run backstage with the adrenaline flowing through your body, the next act already on stage for the gala.

"oh my god, oh my god!" you whisper-shout in pure glee, hugging gojo close the moment you were out of view of the audience.

"you did it."

"we did it," you reassure, pulling from the embrace to smile up at him. you could feel the dancers' eyes around you, not knowing whether they should look to you or to look away.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, "'s okay, let them look. i don't mind it when i'm with you."

"just to confirm, we... shouldn't kiss, right?" you mumble, but you inch closer to his lips anyway.

"no... i don't think we should," gojo grins, indulging you in the very kiss you've waited for, knowing that right now, it wasn't the stage lights, nor was it the general heat after completing a difficult pas de deux.

it's as if the world gave you rose-tinted glasses, because that was all you could recognise now as gojo pulls you from backstage with your hand tightly locked onto his. he wasn't the six eyes theatre's prized principal, he was just gojo as you run past the many costumes being hung with the click-clacking of your pointe shoes.

you could compare it, almost, to running across a field with a billowing dress behind you, but alas, you were satisfied with being his kitri. for when she and basilio have a life of marriage ahead of them, you and gojo satoru have nothing but longing glances and shared laughter over your stumbling slip-ups in the studio as you tackle one act after the next.

the pas de deux was a connection and a story, and the both of you were just starting out yours.

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

As Soon As I Can

Nestor Oceteva x F!Reader

Request from @alienstardust: Umm All the angst in those childhood prompts. I’m a fan! Yes! <3 Maybe something with Nestor? 💫 thank you

I went with this prompt from This Post: When Person A and Person B were kids, Person A broke their arm and had to wear a cast for a while. To make them feel better, Person B decorated it by drawing a bunch of doodles and quotes all over it. When Person A finally got the cast off, they asked the doctor if they could keep it. Years later, Person A takes the cast to a tattoo artist and gets all of Person B’s doodles and quotes tattooed onto their arm so they can wear them forever.

Warnings: language, angst, hospitals

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: I looooooved writing this. Writing has been tough for me lately but this just felt really right. This is my first fic where I’ve done a lot of time skips within the story so hopefully it flows alright. Hope you guys enjoy! xo

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You and Nestor were sitting in your back yard, sprawled out together under the one tree that managed to survive so many years in the California heat. You were laying on your back, cast-bound arm lying rigidly out to the side. You were staring up through the leaves as you listened to Nestor talk.

“At least they let you pick the color,” he was next to you, laying on his stomach as he dug through his backpack.

You laugh was heavy with sarcasm, “Yea, if I’m not gonna be able to move my arm for the next eight weeks it’s the least they could fucking do.”

“You sound bitter.”

You looked over at him, “I am bitter.”

He chuckled and shook his head, he was about to come back with a witty remark when he got distracted by finding whatever he had been looking for. He smiled as he pulled it out, “Aha!” he held up his pack of Sharpies.

“What’re those for?” you nodded towards the markers.

“For your cast.”

“You’re gonna decorate my cast?” you had to laugh.

“Yea,” he was carefully choosing a few different markers to start with, “Maybe it’ll make you feel better about totally eating it falling off your skateboard the other day.”

You laughed as you reached over and shoved him with your good arm, “Shut up—like you haven’t fallen a million times.”

“No casts for me, though,” there was a cocky smirk on his face.

“No casts for me, though,” you mocked as you tried not to laugh.

You watched him in semi-silence as he started at your wrist and slowly but surely made his way up your cast, covering it with all sorts of doodles and quotes. Sometimes you forgot how artistic he could be. You went back and forth between watching him and just resting your head back and closing your eyes. Neither of you kept track of the time as he stayed sprawled on his stomach beside you. the two of you probably would’ve stayed out until dark if your mom hadn’t stuck her head out and said that Nestor’s brother was there to pick him up and bring him home. Nestor threw all of his things back into his bag before helping you up.

Once he was gone, you took some time to actually look at the cast. You smiled at the amount of work he put into something that you were only going to have for a couple months. Your fingers traced lightly over the many marker lines that now covered your cast. Your mother looked over your shoulder at the artwork, a smile passing over her lips for a moment.

“Did Nestor do that?”

You nodded, not taking your eyes off of your arm, “Yea.”

She nodded, “That was sweet of him.”

You scoffed trying to suppress the smile on your face, “I guess.”

The next eight weeks passed by. And, despite the fact that having your arm in a cast was incredibly inconvenient, it could have been a lot worse. Nestor walked with you to all of your classes, offering to carry your backpack despite the fact that you told him that your busted arm had nothing to do with your ability to carry a bag. Whenever the two of you were together and things were quiet, he would keep adding onto the tiny mural that was your cast. Sometimes you wondered how much more he could fit on it, but he always found a way. For as much as you wanted it off, you were going to miss the bonding time for the two of you. And you were going to miss the artwork, too.

“So,” the doctor smiled and nodded at you, “you are all good to go. We can get the cast off and you’ll be as good as new.”

“Yea?” the thought of having your arm back made you feel giddy.

“Absolutely.”

You felt like a new person once your arm was free of the confines of the cast. Letting out a sigh of relief, you rotated your wrist a few times and carefully ran your fingers over the freshly-exposed skin, glad to feel like you were back in control of your own body.

“I can get rid of this,” your doctor held up the cast he’d just finished so carefully removing, “Unless you want to keep it as a momento.”

“Um, actually,” you felt your face heating up as you avoided eye contact with your mother, “Could I keep it?”

The doctor nodded, smiling as he handed it over to you, “It’s quite the work of art at this point—I understand wanting to hold onto it.”

On the drive home, you felt your mother glancing over at you every couple of minutes, a knowing smile on her face. You tried to ignore it but eventually you broke.

“What?” you were careful of your tone.

She laughed quietly and shook her head, “Nothing. Just, I think it’s nice that you’re keeping it, that’s all.”

“Mhm,” you tried to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks again, but that only made it worse.

You never told Nestor that you kept the cast. You never really knew exactly why you didn’t tell him—the two of you told each other pretty much everything else. The two of you spent almost all of your free time together, and as soon as he found out that your cast had been removed he was dragging you right back out to do things that could potentially break your arm all over again, and you let him. He never asked about the cast, so you never brought it up. There were moments, as the two of you got a little older, where you wanted to mention it to him in passing that it was something that you kept, but the moment never seemed quite right. Each time you went to clean out your room and your closet you would come across it, and each time you were faced with the decision of whether or not you wanted to keep it, and you always did. You always told yourself that you didn’t know why, but you knew.

“Alright,” you were trying not to let yourself get too emotional as you sat cross-legged on his bed watching him pack “You can’t do anything stupid while I’m not around to yell at you for it, alright?”

He chuckled as he shoved another shirt into his bag, “Trust me, there will be plenty of other people around to yell at me. That’s the whole point of—”

“But they can’t do it as well as I can.”

He glanced over at you, a small smile on his face. He knew how upset you were despite the fact that you were still being supportive. Him going into the Navy was something that you hadn’t seen coming. The thought of him being gone for so long after the two of you had spent so much of your lives practically joined at the hip was a bit jarring. You knew the ache in your chest was caused by more feelings than you were ready to admit to him, or to yourself.

“It’s not like you’ll never hear from me.”

You huffed, “Snail mail is not the same as bothering you in person,” you flopped backwards on the bed, “And for the record I still think it’s bullshit that you don’t get to call me.”

He laughed as he stood up and sat on the bed, looking down at you, “Don’t be dramatic. I’ll be in basic for less time than you had that stupid cast on your arm.”

“Yea but it’s not like you’re coming right home after that.”

He nodded, his expression sobering a little as he continued to look at you, “I know.”

“You’ll come home to visit me as soon as you can?”

He chuckled, nodding, “As soon as I can.”

For a moment you thought about spilling your guts—telling him everything that you were thinking and feeling. There was something about the way that he was looking at you that made you feel like maybe he felt the same way. But the confidence that shot through you went away as quickly as it appeared, and the moment passed as he continued to pack his things.

True to his word, you got letters in the mail. You saved each one, kept them stashed away in your closet alongside the cast that was still there collecting dust even after years of being shuffled around. You sent more letters than you received, not that you really minded. You figured that he needed them more than you did.

However as the months ticked by, you waited for him to say he was coming home, but he never did. It was one thing right into the next and the more time that passed by, the more you wondered if this was how he slipped away from you, even though he swore that that wouldn’t happen. He reached out when he could, when he had the time. And you knew that he had other priorities, and realistically you did too. But there was still part of you that felt like things were changing too much.

Your heart sped up inside your chest when you got a late-night phone call from him. You scrambled to answer it, “Hello?”

“Hey,” he sounded exhausted.

“Hey,” you pulled your blanket up to your chin as you spoke to him, “H-how are you?”

“I’m alright,” he sighed, “It’s good to hear your voice.”

You smiled despite the weight settling in your chest, “It’s good to hear yours too. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

You didn’t want to push and pry, but you couldn’t help asking, “When are you coming home?”

There was a long pause before he spoke up again, “I, uh, I don’t really know.”

“Don’t they give you guys leave or something?”

He let out a tired chuckle, “Yea. But, um, I’m not sure if I’m going to be coming home for leave anytime soon.”

Your heart crumped inside your chest, “Why not?”

“Got some shit that I’m working on lining up here. Doesn’t hurt to stay close.”

You hated that your bottom lip was beginning to tremble, “Right.”

He knew you too well and you could hear the shift in his tone, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” you replied immediately, “Fuck, don’t be sorry. I’m proud of you, really. Keep…keep doing your thing.”

“Thank you for always being there. It’s been…it’s been nice knowing someone is in my corner when no one else seems to be,” there was a beat of silence, “You seen my family lately?”

You took a deep breath, “No. Why, everything alright?”

He sighed, “Wouldn’t know.”

You pressed your lips together into a tight line—things had never been simple for him when it came to family, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll be home to see you as soon as I can be, alright?”

Your breath was shaky as you exhaled, “Alright,” you were about to say goodbye but your brain betrayed you, “Hey, Nestor?”

“Yea?”

“I love you,” the words fell from your lips, free of their confines after so many years of locking them away.

It might’ve been you projecting, but you could’ve sworn that he let out a sigh of relief, “I love you too.”

That was the last thing that you’d heard from him. He went radio silent after that. You wondered if it was just you that he was ignoring, but no one seemed to have heard anything from him—his own family included. The only things that were running through your mind were terrible. All of your calls went unanswered, all of your texts went unopened. The letters that you sent didn’t get kicked back to you but you never got responses to any of them either. He had blipped off the radar seemingly without a trace and you had no idea why. You lost a lot of sleep over it but at the same time, life didn’t stop for anyone. You had to keep moving forward while a very large part of you was stuck in the past.

You were packing up your room, getting ready to move into your own apartment. You were throwing things from your closet into random bags and boxes—organization had never been your strong suit. As you were leafing through everything, pulling things down off the top shelf of your closet, you were smacked in the face with a stack of papers. You managed to catch them before they hit the ground, tears instantly springing into your eyes when you realized what they were. Your heart sped up inside your chest as you stood on your tip-toes, reaching for the very back of the shelf. The feeling of the plaster underneath your fingers sent a shock through your body as you pulled it towards you. Looking over it, you were bombarded with an onslaught of memories.

Packing fell by the wayside as you sat on your bed, reading through the letters and looking over all the artwork that was still holding up on the cast. How you managed to keep your tears from falling, you didn’t know.

There was a light knock on your door and you looked up, trying to make yourself look much less upset than you were. The smile immediately dropped from your mother’s face when she saw what you were doing, how it was upsetting you. She leaned against the doorframe as she tried to figure out what to say to you to try and make things better.

“I’m sorry, honey,” her tone was sincere.

You shook your head as you set your cast to the side, “Don’t be. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You hadn’t really spoken much to her about it all—there wasn’t a whole lot to say. You didn’t have any answers and with each day that went by it was less likely that you would ever get them. It was difficult to tell whether or not it was more reassuring for you that no one had heard from him, not just you.

“There’s nothing to talk about. He just fucking disappeared, I guess. I just need to accept it and get on with my life.”

“He was your best friend—you’re allowed to be upset about it, you know.”

Even though you knew it, it was nice to hear her say it to you. Wiping the tears from your eyes before they could stain your cheeks, you nodded, “I know.”

She lightly drummed her fingers on the door frame, “You keeping those?”

There was a long pause before you finally nodded, “I think so.”

She nodded, “I’ll go grab you another box.”

“This thing looks like it’s been through the wringer,” your tattoo artist chuckled as she looked over the cast you’d brought with you.

You managed a smile, “Because it has. I’ve had that thing since I was in, fucking, like eighth grade I think? Long time.”

“What made you decide to get this done now?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. Figured it’ll be better than moving it from one closet to the next over the course of my life.”

You could tell by the look on her face, that she wanted to ask for the story behind it all. But the fact that you didn’t offer it up, made her not pry. You’d always been open so if you were keeping something to yourself, she respected that. The two of you talked about the logistics of it, and the changes you want to make to clean it up a little bit. You were excited to come back and get it done, though.

Despite the wait, your excitement and nervousness about coming back didn’t fade. You didn’t regret the decision, but it was still nerve-wracking as you got ready to sit down in the chair. She had you look over the pattern she’d drawn up, and when you gave her the okay she laid the stencil out on your arm and got to work. You watched her as she brought it all to life—it was a little cleaner and more grown-up than the original scribbles and doodles, but it felt right. Tears stung at the edges of your eyes but it wasn’t because of the physical pain of getting the tattoo.

She was wrapping it up in saranwrap as she gave you the run-down of taking care of the tattoo. You’d heard the spiel before but you still listened anyway. You had a hard time taking your eyes off of the artwork as you made your way back out to your car. Sitting down in the driver’s seat, you let out a sigh as you tried to inspect the ink as best you could through the wrap around your arm.

The next day, you were putting on a fresh wrap over your tattoo after your shower when you heard your phone buzzing in the next room. With a heavy sigh, you slapped a piece of tape onto the wrap and scrambled to get to your phone before you missed the call. Looking down at the screen, you didn’t recognize the number. But it was an off-hour for a scammer to be calling so you answered it on a whim. Worst case scenario you would just hang up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, my name is Rita and I work at Imperial Hospital. I’m looking for Ms. Y/N?”

“Um, speaking?” you had no idea where this was going.

“Good morning. Someone was admitted and you are their only emergency contact—no next of kin listed. Do you know a Mr. Nestor Oceteva?”

Your heart dropped into your stomach, “Yes,” you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, “Yes I do. Is he alright?”

“He’s going to be fine,” her tone was calm enough to give you the smallest sliver of reassurance, “But we do need you to come in and answer some questions for us. He’s been in and out of it and we need someone who can give us reliable information.”

“O-okay. Yea. Yea I’ll leave right now. It’ll be about an hour or so before I get there though. Is that alright? He’s going to be okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. He’s going to be fine. Thank you so much for your cooperation.”

You hung up the phone and started flying around your apartment to get ready. You had no idea what you were about to be walking into but at this point you didn’t care. All these years you’ve been wondering about him and he was two towns over. You were as angry as you were relieved.

The line of questions that the nurses asked you seemed endless. You knew that it was all important but there was nothing that you wanted more than to be in the room and see that it really was him, that this wasn’t just some cruel trick from the universe.

Finally, the nurse started walking you back. You only heard half of what she was saying to you about his condition as the two of you approached the room. You heard that he was stable and the rest didn’t really matter to you. your hands were trembling as she gestured to the door to his room, telling you that she would give you a few minutes to yourselves.

You slowly opened the door and a sob lodged itself in your throat as you looked at him. He was passed out, whether the sleep was genuine or from the meds you didn’t know. Truthfully, it was almost difficult to see that it was the Nestor you knew and loved—but you could still see it. Underneath the cuts and scrapes, beneath the braids and the tattoos, there was still your Nestor. The man you knew all those years ago was somewhere underneath it all.

Walking over, you collapsed in the chair next to his bed. You reached out and took his hand in your own, seeing the scars and scabs that covered his knuckles. Whatever he’d been doing all those years, it wasn’t treating him well. You let out a shaky breath as the tears started to fall. You tried to keep your emotions bottled up and quiet, but you couldn’t. There were too many there that you had been battling with and pushing down over the years.

Your crying made him stir. With a quiet groan of pain he opened his eyes and turned to look and see who was in the room with him. His entire body went stiff as his eyes flew completely open, unable to believe that you were sitting there with him.

“H-holy shit,” he coughed, trying to sit up, “Y/N?”

He was conscious and able to speak, so you punched him in the upper arm, “As soon as I can my ass, Nestor.”

He winced and smiled, and you could see all of the motions in his eyes, “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be.”

“I am.”

“Good.”

There were a few beats of silence and then he heard the crinkling of the wrap on your arm as you crossed them and he nodded towards it, “Fresh?”

Heat instantly flooded to your face and you fought the urge to get up and run out of the room, “Got it yesterday.”

“Can I see?”

You hated that he was talking to you like everything was normal, but you couldn’t lie and said that you didn’t miss it. Taking a deep breath, you laid your arm down on the hospital bed for him to inspect. A smile instantly took over his features when he saw what it was. He looked up at you, and when he saw the happiness and hurt both in your expression, his smile dulled a little bit.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck, Nestor?”

“I know, I know. I should’ve said something.”

“Uh…yea.”

“When they let me out of here, will you let me take you somewhere and tell you all about it?”

“I mean. I guess. But only because I’m nosey,” you managed a smile through the tears.

“I love you.”

The words made your heart skip a beat in your chest, “I love you too.”

“That’s way less clunky than a cast,” he tapped the plastic wrap.

You smiled, wiping the tears away, “Yea, I guess so.”

“I can’t believe you still have the same number after all these years.”

You paused, looking down at your hands, “I kept it in case your ass decided to smarten up and call me one of these days.”

“Hospital calling you on my behalf doesn’t count?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “No. No it doesn’t.”

He reached over and clasped your hand in his, “I’m really glad that you’re here.”

With a deep sigh, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his forehead, careful to miss all the scrapes, “Me too.”

There was so much more to be said, but it could wait. You tried to soak up the feeling of his hand over yours, smiles appearing on both of your faces despite the lost time and the gravity of the situation. A lot of things had changed, but as you felt the heat from his palm and the way his thumb traced back and forth over your hand, you knew the important things were still exactly the same.

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva x you #nestor oceteva imagine #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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cinnoasch · 3 years

Note

I just had an idea, Akechi with an S/O (their not dating yet) and they have a toxic boyfriend and when Akechi meets him he just thinks, "guess i have one more target" and he tries the hardest to keep up the Detective Prince facade in front of this guy because he's just filled with so much rage at this one man.

A/N: Ohoho, I love this idea. I had an idea for a bad ending of sorts, but let me know if any one wants that ending as well. Thank you Anon and hope you enjoyed! And hopefully this turned out alright!

C/W: Toxic relationship on/off, slight cursing, angst(?)

Word Count: 1885

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hostile Third-Wheel (Goro Akechi x Reader)

“You look upset Y/N. Did something happen?” Akechi asks, looking up from his paperwork when he notices your expression.

You let out an annoyed sigh, waving your phone in the air as you sit across from him. “My boyfriend. He accidentally reserved a table for 3 for our date tonight and being the stubborn lazy ass he is, refuses to call the restaurant to change it. He told me to invite a friend.”

“On your date?”

“Mhm, and he said...” You say as you hear your notification ring. “To preferably bring a girl... ‘Just kidding, winky face.’“

“He sounds like quite the charmer. And you can’t change the reservation yourself?”

“You know how the restaurants are, they rather have the person who did the reservation to change it.”

“You do make a valid point. Well then, how about inviting me?”

You look at Akechi in surprise. “You want to tag along on my date? Wouldn’t you just feel like a third wheel?”

Akechi smiles lightly, “Well, I guess I would feel like somewhat of a third wheel, but I have never met your boyfriend. I’d like to know what your taste in significant others is like.”

“Not funny. But I will say, it hasn’t been... the best. I think I really... got it this time.”

Akechi noticed the hesitation on your face and in your words but he didn’t mention it. He knew the many heartbreaks you had been through, although he never met any of your previous significant others. He was the one that you called during those nights, hearing your crying and hoarse voice as you explained how you recently were dumped. While it hurt more for you than him, Akechi could not help but feel upset. He may be the only one who harbored feelings between the two of you, but even if you did not return those feelings; he’d still be there for you no matter what.

“Anyways, I am allowed to join you two right? Your boyfriend won’t mind?”

“Not at all. He says he’s fine with it. So see you tonight at 7? It’s the one restaurant near Seaside Park in Odaiba.”

"Ah, I’ve been there on occasion. If I remember correctly, you often frequented the restaurant with your previous significant others. You know if you keep bringing them to the same restaurant for dates, it’s not as special as it seems.”

“I know, I know. I guess I just stick with what I’m comfortable with. Any who, see you tonight!” You say with a wave as you take your leave from Akechi’s apartment.

When you close the door behind you, your smile fades. You had been through this too many times before. You knew what was going to happen tonight. And after tonight, the cycle would repeat itself just like it always had for the past few months.

------------------------------

“So, this friend of yours, is Goro Akechi?” your boyfriend asks as you two walk the path heading to the restaurant.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“No particular reason. I just hope you don’t think about leaving me for him. We’ve been through this enough times, so you know the drill. We always come back to each other.”

“I know... the thought never crossed my mind.”

“Not even once?” They ask, tilting your face towards them.

“Not even once.”

“Good.” Your boyfriend removes his hand and opens the door for you. “Let’s keep it that way then.”

You sigh quietly, straightening out your clothes as you walk through the door. You never knew why you always got your hopes up. Breaking things off and getting back together was what your relationship was. You knew from the start that the relationship wasn’t good, but you always found yourself drawn back. You always questioned why this was the way that things were. Were you just content with any type of love? Even if it was the worst kind? Or were you just denying the fact that you could never have anything better than this?

You feel your arm being tugged as you look up to see your boyfriend trying to move you along to the table.

“C’mon, your friend’s waiting.”

You give a nod as you walk to the table with your boyfriend. Akechi waves with a smile when he sees you two, and stands up from his seat.

“Hope you weren’t waiting long, Akechi.” You say with a small smile.

“Not at all. So this is your boyfriend? I’m Goro Akechi, pleased to meet you.” He says holding his hand out for a handshake.

Your boyfriend introduces himself, lightly shaking Akechi’s hand as he does. The three of you sit down at the table and decide what to order before starting a conversation.

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Akechi asks. A small smile graces his face, however he was staring intently at your boyfriend. You noticed that your boyfriend did whisper something to Akechi earlier while they were introducing themselves, so you were somewhat concerned.

You’re about to answer but your boyfriend slings an arm around you with a grin. “Y/N and I have been dating for a few months now.”

“A few months? Is that so? Y/N told me they’ve had a few other significant others within the past few months.”

“Ah, that’s them trying to save face. Y/N and I have a sort of on/off relationship. They just can’t get enough of me so they always come crawling back.”

Akechi glances at you but quickly turns his gaze back to your boyfriend. “Really now? How peculiar, you don’t see those quite often anymore.”

“I guess not, but guess we’re just made for each other.”

Akechi only nods in agreement, his fists were clenched underneath the table. Was he upset that you lied? Yes. But the thing that bothered him the most was your boyfriend. He could immediately tell that your boyfriend was bad news when he saw you two walking up to the restaurant. How he had that condescending look on his face when he talked to you, his words just now, implying that you couldn’t do any better than him. It made Akechi’s blood boil.

It seems that I have a new target to take care of.

Soon the waiter comes and takes your orders, silence filling the air for a few seconds until your boyfriend speaks up.

“So, Akechi. You’re that Detective Prince that’s always on TV right?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

You twirl your straw in your drink, already knowing the question that would pop up.

“You must have a lot of fans, right? All those girls surrounding you must be nice.”

“Well, fans are expected, although all of the attention can be a bit much at times.”

“Ya don’t have to lie, you must love the attention right? Though I’m surprised you aren’t dating someone yourself. You could get any girl.”

“I suppose. But I bet if you were in my shoes, you’d relish in the attention wouldn’t you? You strike me as the type of guy who... sleeps around I would say.”

You shoot Akechi a look, but he only dismisses it with a smile and laughs. “Aha, I apologize. What am I doing asking those sorts of questions with Y/N here?”

Your boyfriend chuckles, “Oh, Y/N doesn’t mind. Isn’t that right, babe?”

“Like hell I don’t.”

“Oh come on, Akechi’s just joking around.”

Akechi grins, “Well... it seems my deduction was correct. You are that type of guy. Truly despicable. Y/N deserves much better than you, don’t you think?”

Your boyfriend stands up angrily, “What the hell are you trying to say?”

“Other than you’re a piece of shit?”

You stand up next, “Alright, let’s all calm down now. Akechi, a word?”

Your boyfriend sits back down, crossing his arms as you take Akechi to the side to talk to him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? You’re the one who’s forcing yourself to be in a relationship with that dumbass over there.”

“Who I date is none of your business.”

“It is my business. Who’s the one who has called me every time crying because they got dumped? What’s even worse is that you do nothing to get yourself out of it.”

“Who says I haven’t tried?”

“Y/N. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve actually tried to get out of your relationship.”

You clench your hands, unable to look Akechi in the eye. Who were you kidding? You had simply accepted how things were going to be between you and your boyfriend. An on and off relationship that only hurt you.

Akechi sighs. “Look, I’m only saying these things because I care about you. And if you won’t break it off, I’ll do it for you.”

The look in Akechi’s eyes told you that he was dead serious. Yet, there was some hint of malicious intent behind his words. Would Akechi really turn to violence to break things off between you and your boyfriend? Well, that question wasn’t needed since you were made aware of Akechi’s hostile side.

“Fine. I’ll break it off. Just give me some time.”

“Hmmm, no. Do it now.”

You glare at Akechi. “Now? Are you crazy?”

“Like I said if you don’t, I will. And my methods are much worse than a simple ‘I’m breaking up with you’.”

You only nod, not wanting to barter with Akechi any longer, and walk back to the table where your boyfriend sat. When he sees you walking back, he stands up with a smile. “So, did you tell Akechi off? Ha, I bet the look on his face was priceless.”

“Actually no. I’m breaking up with you.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m tired of this, me staying loyal for some piece of shit boyfriend who sleeps around. I’m done with you.”

“You bitch!” He raises his hand to slap you but Akechi appears behind you and grabs his wrist forcefully.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Your now, ex-boyfriend looks at Akechi in fear. You didn’t want to turn around because you were sure that the look Akechi was giving this guy was one that could kill.

“Now, if you would please lower your hand once I let go.”

Your ex-boyfriend only nods and once Akechi lets go of his wrist he bolts out of the restaurant.

You let out a sigh of relief as you turn to face Akechi. “Thank you for that. I guess a push was all I needed.”

“Not a problem. But if I may ask Y/N, why did you put up with it? The Y/N I know would normally break it off immediately when it became that type of relationship.”

You chuckle a bit sadly as you seat yourself back in your chair. “You know, I thought so too. But eventually, it just became a cycle. My thoughts started to invade my mind, telling me that that type of relationship was the best that I could handle. That it couldn’t and wouldn’t get any better. I’m pathetic aren’t I?”

“Your taste in S/O’s could be considered pathetic I suppose.”

“Low blow, but I’ll take it.”

“Well you did need to hear it. Anyways, I think we can salvage this failed date somewhat. What do you say Y/N?”

“Sure, why not.”

#goro akechi x reader #persona 5 #goro akechi #persona 5 royal #p5

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corysmiles · 3 years

Note

Little streamer AU prompts!

-Thinking they were all humans, either Wil or Phil bought tickets for them all to go to an amusement park....but Tommy’s too short to ride. Where does it go from there? Does Wilbur feel bad and sob out apologies? Does Tommy say it’s fine and that they can go without him, only to get kidnapped/lost? Does Tommy say f*ck it and try to sneak on with Tubbo? Your choice :)

-The bois at the arcade during the meetup. They try to cheat the games by having Tommy roll skeeballs into the best slot, or go inside machines to fix the game in their favor

-While Tubbo has Lani, and Phil has probably had like a borrower coworker or something, this is Wil’s first time heavily interacting with someone so small, and constantly watches the others and stays up at night googling how to best handle a borrower. Some of the suggestions he gets from online are way too formal and Tommy is confused as heck at where he’s getting these ideas. Like Wil you don’t have to wash your hands before picking me up if we’re RUNNING LATE C’MON LETS GO

-(the angst prompt) Tommy was so excited to meet others his size and during the meet up he doesn’t feel included or something, and he ahas a mental breakdown. Maybe he hides in a small space so the others can’t find/reach him

-If you don’t have plans for techno yet, maybe he’s also a tiny and thought he was the only one of any of his online friends, but the group FaceTimes him and he sees Tommy is small too but doesn’t make a big deal out of it, just a mentions it in the conversation at some point. Tommy feels instantly better. “Technoblade’s a bigger bad ass than any of you talk freaks!” “Techno was already the coolest, but none of you have a chance now.”

-Tommy wrestles with everyone’s hands

If you can’t tell I love this idea so much lol

-🦎anon

omg I love your ideas so much thank you and I’m so so sorry this post is so long I was gonna split it up but then I was motivated and got really excited (also pls forgive me for any spelling errors this is long and I didnt want to go back and edit it) :]

Little streamer au drabbles

—————————————————————

When Phil and Kristen had originally been planning out all the things they could do at the meet up they didn’t take into account the possibility that any of their friends might be well...tiny. So when the day came for the group to go to the amusement park and they were stopped by security at the first ride Phil knew the day wasn’t going to end well.

“Sorry sir,” the man said to Wilbur who currently had Tommy in his front pocket, “Tinies can’t go on the rides here, it’s too much liability for the park.”

Wilbur just stared at the man in mild confusion, “What if I hold him though, there’s no way anything could happen.”

The man just shrugged, “I don’t know it’s the park’s rules not mine so you can either stay out here with him or pass on rides for today.”

Wilbur looked down at the small teen in his pocket and could tell he was getting upset by the confrontation. Tommy’s shoulders drooped and he kept his eyes down as if to not show the others his disappointment.

“Its alright big man, go on I can stay down here,” Tommy whispered and patted Wilbur’s chest reassuringly. The attempt at comfort just made Wilbur’s frown grow.

“Hey it’s alright Will I’ll stay down here with Tommy,” Tubbo said, “I’m not the biggest fan of heights anyways.”

Wilbur reluctantly agreed and handed over the tiny to the other teen who walked over to one of the benches to wait for the others.

When Wilbur and Phil got off the roller coaster they panicked when they couldn’t find the two teens until they found Tubbo riding on a carousel horse with Tommy hanging off the pole.

Safe to say Wilbur didn’t let Tubbo take Tommy the rest of the day. (Sorry i didnt do angst for this one)

(More under the cut)

—————————————————————

Tommy was so excited to go to the arcade with his friends. When they got there though and Tommy saw all the prizes he could win he started to form a plan.

Tubbo of course would be the one to help him out though since he was the only one that was willing to let Tommy cause any chaos.

It started with small things like having him help them cheat on skeeball or hit targets with his hands on shooting games until they started to look for more ways to cheat.

For the final plan, Tubbo watched as Tommy climbed through the slot of a crane machine and tried to push a large bear toy into the hole.

When he saw the bear he thought Wilbur would like it and while Tubbo was usually opposed to crane games since it’s just a “waste of fucking money” he wasn’t necessarily opposed to helping Tommy get into the machine.

Everything was going fine until a woman with a child came over to the machine to play for themselves; immediately Tommy ducked down beneath the plushies so they wouldn’t get caught and Tubbo began to panic when he lost sight of the tiny.

It was at that moment that the rest of the group came over to Tubbo and asked where Tommy was.

“Uhhh hes in the bathroom,” Tubbo said nervously.

Phil tilted his head at the boy, “Uhuh...where is he Tubbo?”

“Ummmm so about that big man we uh-“

However, Tubbo was interrupted by his phone dinging and his face went pale as he read the text from Tommy.

-Pls get me out of here big man I can’t get this shit off me anymore-

“Uhhhh...oh fuck,” Tubbo muttered, “Um I have not the best news for you.”

“And what’s that?” Wilbur asked.

“Ummm do you have any coins on you?”

Phil looked at Tubbo with confusion, “Yeah, why do you ask mate?”

Tubbo turned back to the crane where the mother and daughter had left and laughed nervously, “well....ummm so by bathroom I kinda meant uh the crane machine? Yeah, Tommy’s in there.”

The adults immediately freaked out at the situation because what the fuck were the kids thinking. And when Tubbo told Wilbur they were just trying to get the teddybear for him cause Tommy thought he’d like it, he felt even more dread.

After almost an hour of Wilbur and Phil putting in money into the claw machine they finally got enough toys out of the way to see the tiny.

With one more try Tommy was able to grab onto the claw and let himself fall out of the machine. Wilbur immediately scooped him up to scold him for being a dumbass but when he saw that Tommy’s face was red and swollen he decided instead to just slip Tommy into his pocket to rest.

With the extra cheated tickets though they were able to buy Tommy a tiny plastic nerf gun from the arcade before they left.—————————————————————

Wilbur was surprised at how quickly Phil and Tubbo were okay with Tommy’s size. While Tubbo apparently had a tiny sister and Phil had had tiny friends before, Wilbur couldn’t recall ever actually interacting with someone so small expect for in passing.

He really cared about Tommy as both a friend and as a brother and he was so afraid of messing up with the teen. He didn’t want to hurt or offend Tommy in any way so of course he went to the best place to figure out what to do: wikihow.

The articles were strange for sure but anything to make Tommy feel more comfortable with him would be worth it.

So the next day when Tommy was supposed to be eating breakfast at Wilbur’s house and Wilbur wouldn’t pick him up to put him on the table he thought the taller man was just being a dick.

Then when Tommy asked him if he would pick him up Wilbur walked away from him to go to the bathroom instead of helping him.

After a minute the brunette man walked back and reached a hand down to lay besides Tommy. Tommy stepped onto his palm and expected him to pull him up towards him but when he didn’t he started to get really annoyed.

“Hey you can move what the fucks up witb you right now you’re being all weird and shit man,” Tommy grumbled.

“Huh? Oh I just...I was looking up some stuff about uh tinies and I thought maybe it would make you more comfortable?” Wilbur whispered with embarrassment.

“What?” Tommy laughed, “Why the fuck would you do that you were fine before I would tell you if I wasn’t comfortable big man you don’t have to worry about that.”

Wilbur felt his heart swell at the comfort and slowly lifted Tommy up to the table for them to eat together. It was still strange having someone so small around but Wilbur would get used to it for Tommy.—————————————————————

Tommy usually didn’t have any problems with having bigger people around. All his friends at home and his family were all humans so he knew he was overreacting about none of his online friends being tinies. But when they went out to dinner together and Phil, Tubbo, and Wilbur were all talking together while Tommy sat next to Wilbur’s cup something broke inside him.

The reason he loved streaming so much was that he thought he finally had met other people like him, but he guessed it was his own fault for never really checking.

As the three laughed loudly Tommy felt himself becoming more and more overwhelmed by the chaos in the restaurant. He couldn’t cry now though his friends were having fun, it would be a dick move for him to ruin the meet up for them just because he expected them to be tinies.

Throughout the meal and on the way home Tommy was mostly silent, he sat in Wilbur’s pocket as they arrived at the man’s apartment. Wilbur waved goodbye to Phil and Tubbo as he took Tommy inside.

Wilbur sat Tommy down on the counter as he changed and Tommy finally felt a few tears fall from his eyes. He heard the sound of a door opening and quickly hid behind a tea box so Wilbur wouldn’t see him in this state.

He started to shake as the tears kept coming while he heard Wilbur searching around for him.

“Tommy?” Wilbur called out but Tommy couldn’t even get a solid breath much less respond.

After a few moments Tommy felt the tea box he was hiding near shift as a large hand wrapped him up gently.

“Oh jeez Tommy are you okay?” Wilbur asked as he lifted Tommy to his eyes.

Tommy wiped his eyes and slowly nodded to Wilbur who looked heartbroken by the tears.

Wilbur sighed, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tommy shook his head no and Wilbur gave the boy a sad smile.

“I’m sorry Tommy, we’ll talk about this later okay,” he whispered as he tucked Tommy up against his chest. He held the tiny until he heard soft snores replace the sobs and promised himself that whatever made him this sad would never happen again.—————————————————————

Techno had been tweeting at the rest of the sleepy boys since the start of the meetup. The American wished he had gotten to meet up with his friends but sadly because of covid there was no way to safely visit the UK, so instead they settled for FaceTiming one night so that Techno wouldn’t feel as left out.

Techno grabbed his specially made phone and anxiously waited for the call. When Phil’s contact showed up Techno opened it immediately and was greeted by the familiar blonde human’s face along with Tubbo in the corner.

“Hey Techno!” Phil smiled as Tubbo waved aggressively.

Techno smiled and waved back, “Hullo.”

After a little bit of shuffling Wilbur appeared on the screen with something cupped in his hands.

“What you got there Will?” Techno asked with an amused expression.

“It’s me bitch! Ayyy Techno,” a loud and annoying but familiar voice yelled form the taller man’s hands.

“Oh hey Tommy,” Techno laughed, but besides that there was almost no reaction to Tommy’s height.

“That’s it? No big ‘wow you’re small’ or like ‘poggers’ or anything?” Tommy asked.

Techno hummed in response, “Nah why would I care your nothing special cause you’re small.”

Tommy huffed and crossed his arms at Techno, “I’m not special bitch? I’m the only tiny here I’m amazing!”

A small chuckle left Techno as he realized the situation.

“And why are you so sure you’re the only one huh?”

Tommy blinked wide eyed at Techno before a wide grin spread across his face.

“Wait you’re small too?” Phil asked.

Techno nodded to his friends who all had different ranges of shock on their faces.

“Oh fuck yeah!” Tommy screeched causing everyone to laugh.

“See I knew this is why you were so much cooler than these bitches were alpha men you see,” Tommy laughed.

“Yeah,” Techno smiled, “I’m sure that’s why.”

The rest of the call was calmer however Tommy continued to insist that Techno and him were much cooler than the rest of the them. —————————————————————

The first time Tommy had been grabbed to try to get him to calm down or stay still it had been by Phil when he was trying to cook breakfast and Tommy kept getting too close to the stove top. Phil placed his hand over Tommy to keep him still when he felt the kid latch onto his pointer finger and try to pull it away.

“Ay what are you doing mate?” Phil laughed as the tiny continued to struggle with his finger.

“I’m wrestling you big man can’t you tell, and I’m fucking winning!” Tommy grinned.

Phil chuckled at the kid before flipping him over with his thumb.

“Yup you’re winning sure,” he said slyly.

When Wilbur and Tubbo walked in to Phil trying to pin down Tommy with his fingers while the small boy laughed and pushed them away as much as he could they had no fucking clue what was going on.

#🦎 anon #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #little streamer au #t!tommy #g!wilbur #g!tubbo #g!philza #t!techno #corywrites

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starfire-s · 4 years

Text

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride!

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

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jnixz · 2 years

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Thinking about many versions for Subnauts (Psychonauts x Pokemon Continuty with the Subway Bosses Ingo & Emmet)

Spoilers more for Pokemon Legends: Arceus than Psychonauts games. Do be warned if you are a Submas fan with no knowledge of psychonauts if you would follow on other post for these variants.

1. venusianpeach subnauts version where the twins get to be agents. They get their own missions but have the chance to be mentors post-pn2. They have fun Duo-Mindscapes! Another track leads to a station that at some point Ingo gets eeby-deebied to RoR instead of the past. Not sure if it is connected or will be connected with the version with mentor thing OP has, but hey here we get to see the whimsy and angst tone that both games have aha

2. AU where we take pokemon characters and fit them into the Psychonauts setting. That’s what #1 is but here I’m thinking of like, they are not necessarily connected with the Psychonauts Organization. More of like if they were in this world, what would their job be like?

(Of course there is like a mix of 1 & 2. mostly my interpretation of submas in this would be that they are informant/stationed at new york city equivalent at those times. Each train station is a safe place spies could get info or supplies from. Also twins being positive image for psychics working for the safety and transportation for the public that are not necessarily spies)

3. Actual AU where it is a merge of Pokemon setting with Psychonauts world. Pokemon and Psychics exists. A totally new world really... Theres the struggle of accepting pokemon, and then there is the struggle of accepting psychics. Both have the potential to be so helpful but also so harmful.

4. Crossover where Ingo gets transported from the Pokemon World to Psychonauts world. Again, I’ve thought of two version of this:

First is that Ingo gets transported there instead of hisui, and somehow PLA events happen there kinda? PLA MC sure do be seeking something while also fixing dimension rifts along with other characters that are more willing to help in this kind of situation huh....

Second is that somehow in an attempt to go to the right time and place with the help of the PLA MC, something goes wrong (I imagine it to be some sort of distortion world interferance) and it sends both of them across another dimension without pokemon but with psychics. This is a whole set of problems as there doesn’t seem to be a way to connect with Arceus to rescue them. Another home lost, lost in another place....

5. waywardstation & co ’s Train of Thought AU [chrono]. Not an Psychonauts x Submas crossover but it is mindscape Shenanigans! Set in Pokemon Legends: Arceus setting only. Just wanted to share if you happen to be interested in both fandoms.

6. Other potentials

Commonality with all of these is that characters must be shaped and infest our brain with house much we love them. Oh and that seemingly lighthearted tone only to be ambushed with the dark and angst potential behind it. Humans on both worlds are built different and yet we take them on with our knowledge of living in glee and suffering.

#psychonauts 2 #psychonauts 2 spoilers #pla #pla spoilers #pokemon x submas #subnauts #psyn rambles #pla mc #pokemon ingo #pokemon x psychonauts crossover #pokenauts

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sunaswife · 3 years

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Family | dad! Nanami Kento

Summary: Kento’s emo teenage son is going through some things

Warning: fluff, slight angst, Nanami being a good fucking dad :’)

🔪: I wish I had a dad lol

Nanami couldn’t help but jump when he heard the front door of his house slammed close. He peered out of the kitchen to see his son running up the stairs clearly distressed. Nanami sighed and left his precious tea behind to see what was wrong like a good father should. Your son’s door was closed and there was a red and white ‘KEEP OUT’ sign outside. My Chemical Romance was playing loud from inside the room bringing a form of nostalgia to Nanami.

He tried to hide his small smile and he knocked on his sons door. “Kyo..is everything okay?” He asked, instantly your son panicked and tried wiping away the eyeliner off from their eyes, they didn’t know Kento came home early. “Um leave me alone dad I don’t feel good.” They lied.

“Your moms makeup wipes can help with that.” Kento leaned on the doorway and pointed out causing Kyo to panic. What would their father think? They knows how strict and serious their father is, would Kento judge them? “D-dad I— I can explain.” Kyo said quickly and shut off the music. “Explain then.” Kento said and sat on the swirly chair, their father naturally had this serious aura which intimidated Kyo. They immediately wanted to shut down but decided it was now or never. “I like listening to this type of music and I like the way they dress and do their makeup, when I do my makeup like this I get stares and the kids at school whisper and I feel sad. I’m a loner, nobody wants to be friends with me. I don’t know how else to explain how I feel, you wouldn’t understand and I can’t even understand what I feel.”

“Oh I understand and you not understanding yourself is normal.” Kento nodded leaving Kyo confused, “Dad, you’re a sorcerer you don’t have a social life.”

“Okay now that’s offensive.” Kento pointed out, “I had the emo hair and all that jazz. I was the silent and ‘mysterious’ type at school. I just thought I was pretty reserved.” He shrugged. “Who called you silent and mysterious?” Kyo tried to stifle a laugh. “Your mother did.” He simply said. “Oh no I don’t wanna hear a cringey love story.” Your son covered their ears. “Don’t worry no love stories. But you’re not alone Kyo. It was the same for your mother before she transferred to Jujutsu Tech. She had the crazy hair that changed color every other month, a fiery personality and she didn’t take shit from anyone. She was the odd one out and that’s how we bonded. We shared an interest in music and always argued which band was superior. Your mother was a Green Day fan when I preferred My Chemical Romance.”

“Woah no way dad, it seems like you know your stuff.” Kyo said, “Of course I know my stuff, that box of CD’s are mine. I’m assuming you found them in the basement?” He motioned to the box by their bed. Kyo faces heated up and they nodded, “Sorry for not asking.”

“It’s fine. Wanna check out the clothes your mom and I used to wear?” He asked and his heart melted when his sons eyes lite up. “First fix your eyeliner.” Kento left and came back with makeup wipes. “You’re not mad I wear makeup..?” His son asked, “I don’t care, it’s how you want to express yourself. Who am I to judge?” Kento began wiping the smeared makeup away. When his sons face was clean he pulled out your eyeliner and eyeshadow from his pocket. “There.” Kento said and handed it to his son. Kyo tried to not get emotional and they began fixing their eyes to how they liked it. Kento sat on their bed patiently waiting as he skimmed through the old albums and vinyls he put away over a decade ago.

When Kyo’s makeup was finished they turned to look at Kento and Kento smiled. “You look just like your mom.” He said a ruffled their hair. “I look like a girl?”

“No you look like you. Unless you want to look like a girl then that’s fine too.” Kento said as he lowered the stairs to the attic. “Well my pronouns are they/them.” Kyo said. “Ah..do you get offended when your mother and I call you son? We can easily switch the ‘he’ to ‘they’.” Kento helped them up the attic. “I don’t mind ‘son’ if it’s you guys.” They said. “Understood.” Kento gave a slight nod.

“It’s surprisingly easy to talk to you. I usually opened up with just mom.” They said. “I can be a little cold and reserved at times. But I’m glad we got to talk just us two, just know that I love you.” Kento turned his head and continued looking for the boxes of clothes. “Aha.” He said a swiftly pulled out the dusty box. He found another and one more. The two carefully took them down from the attic and placed them in the living room.

Outfit after outfit, Kyo was in love. They couldn’t imagine you or their dad wearing any of these but at the bottom of the box was another box. Dr. martens to be exact and it was full of Polaroids. “That’s you?” Kyo pointed and Nanami nodded. “That’s mom?” Kyo asked and he nodded once more. “Oh my god you both were so cool! ....what happened?” They asked earning a look from their dad.

“My my this brings back memories.” You sighed as you took your shoes off at the entrance, you dropped your bag and sat next to your husband. “M-mom I—“ “You’re fine.” You smiled causing Kyo’s eyes to water. “I had a feeling this would happen.” You said, “Is that why you told me to store everything instead of throwing it away?” Your husband asked and you nodded. “I always wanted you to go through an emo phase.” You told your son. “It’s not a phase mom.” They said and you grinned. “I said the same thing. Now go on and model the clothes! I’ll wash them after.” You said and Kyo nodded and left with an outfit.

“Our son wants to be referred as they/them.” Kento said as you cuddled into his chest. “Then don’t call them son.” You replied. “They said son was okay only if us two say it.” Kento defended himself and you nodded. You both heard footsteps coming and turned your attention to your son. You began clapping like crazy and screamed. “That’s my child!” You said proudly. “Our child.” Kento nudged. “Fine. Our child.” You mocked causing Kyo to laugh. “Spin!” You encouraged and they did. “The creepers give your outfit an extra oomp.” You said causing Kento to shake his head. “I like how you took your moms chains and combined them with my old jeans. The Rob Zombie shirt is a nice touch.” Kento said.

“Thank you both again..” Kyo said with a small smile. “Thank you for being such an amazing kid.” You said as you reached into your pocket. “I got this letter in the mail. Middle school is almost over and you’ve been invited to go to Jujutsu Technical Institute. You’ll see Gojo sensei and Itadori sensei everyday.” You said causing Kento to groan.

Theirs eyes widened and they gave a firm nod.

“Let’s do it.”

“Jujutsu tech better welcome their first ever non-binary sorcerer with open arms or else mama bear will tell off the elders.”

“That’s not necessary mom.”

“It’s necessary.”

“You too dad?”

#nanami kento #Nanami fluff #jjk nanami #nanami imagine #nanami jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #nanamin

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emiefaunwrites · 3 years

Note

Not sure if this would cause angst or just some funny shenanigans, but I’m curious…

Has Taka and Leon ever been on a date that just… went horribly wrong?

Heyyy!!

So yes. Yes there is one particular date that I can think of that went horribly wrong. And I think it's about time that a certain member of Leon's family turns up at this point...

So just before I continue, I want to clarify my opinion on Kanon. I don't know all that much about her, but the things that are BEYOND obvious is that she is young and that she is obsessed with her older cousin Leon. Obsessed to the point of stalking, manipulative behaviour and attempted assault.

Now as someone who has, unforunately, had an obsession with an ex of mine, I know how difficult it is to shake those feelings. They make you act in ridiculous ways and turn you into a person that you honestly are not. Thankfully I never hurt anyone physically nor did I stalk, but I was manipulative and controlling and became a person I am ashamed to remember today. And once that obsession fades (which it thankfully did for me), the guilt and the embarrassment is crippling and I live with it daily.

Now I'm not at all saying she is right in what she's doing - it's absolutely wrong. It is NOT an excuse to stalk, or harrass, or assault the 'object of your affection' in the slightest and I do not condone Kanon's behaviour or actions at all. But I would like to try and portray Kanon as a girl who cannot control her emotions and all the ways that it manifests - the two sides of obsession. I think it's important to show what obsession looks like as well as the affect it has on everyone around them - including the person they are obsessed with so if you aren't comfortable with obsessive behaviour or just with Kanon's character in general, please don't read this.

Okay. So enough on that. Here is the disaster date! Thank you for your ask and I hope you enjoy!!

**********************

• Leon hasn't told Taka about his cousin, Kanon.

• It isn't really an easy topic to bring up - how your cousin is obsessed with you.

• It'a always made Leon uncomfortable and he's tried to rebuff the attention in many different ways.

• He tried telling her that cousins shouldn't date - but she ignored it.

• He tried to steer her towards boys her own age, suggesting he help hook her up with someone - but she was adamant the HE was the only one for her.

• He tried grossing her out, not washing for a few days before she visited - but she took no notice.

• Eventually, in his 'asshole' phase, he took drastic measures.

• After years of torment and feeling uncomfortable, he announced to her, in front of his 'friends', that she was ugly and he only liked 'sexy' girls.

• He would NEVER consider dating her, not unless she threw a pitch at 100km - something he knew would be impossible.

• And until that day, she wasn't to talk to him anymore.

• A part of him felt guilty - she's his cousin after all, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.

• But he's tired of it all, and he's already under so much social pressure, and he pretty much hates himself anyway - so he stood his ground and shut her down.

• Since then, he's barely thought about her.

• But about eight months into his relationship with Taka, he encounters her again.

• Because what Leon doesn't know is Kanon's obsession has only grown stronger.

• And because she's been blocked from his social media, she's resorted to a fake profile to follow him.

• And she happens to know that Leon will be on a date with someone in the city.

• And not just anyone. A date with A BOY.

• And she can't deal with that so she oh so conveniently happened to have caught two trains and a bus just to be in there too.

• So Leon and Taka are sat in their favourite cafe, enjoying each other's company.

• When Leon sees a familiar face on the other side of the street. Heading this way.

• 'Oh fuck.'

• Taka's super confused as his boyfriend ducks down, covering his face with his jacket, looking intensely uncomfortable.

• 'Are you okay?'

• 'My cousin's here.'

• 'Your cousin?'

• Glancing out the window, Leon sees that Kanon is heading straight for the cafe and tries to shrink further down under the table.

• Why is she here?! What is he supposed to do?! And what about Taka?! What will she do to him?!

• The cafe door jingles open and he KNOWS it's her so he grabs the menu and tries to cover his face...

• Not knowing that Kanon knows JUST who to look for and bounds right over with a big smile.

• 'Hi Lee!!'

• He pries his face away from the menu, barely able to look her in the eye as he smiles uncomfortably.

• 'H-hey, Kanon...'

• 'I'm just meeting a friend and she's a BIG fan of yours and wanted to see if I could introduce you...'

• 'S-sure...'

• 'And she told me you'd be here today so I thought we'd meet here! She said you'd be on a date! So...where is she?'

• The mood has DEFINITELY changed now. The glint in her eye at the mention of date was one of jealousy.

• 'C'mon, Lee! I wanna meet the girl that stole your heart! I bet she's SUUUUUPER sexy, right?'

• Her words are like knives, sickly sweet and dangerous...

• But Taka reads the situation and chimes in.

• 'He's meeting her later. He wanted a pep talk first so asked me here before he meets her.'

• LIES! Kanon KNOWS that filthy boy is LYING and the glare she sends his way is completely opposite to the personality she's shown so far.

• But in a flash, she smiles back at Leon and slides into the seat next to him.

• 'Great! Let's hang out then, Lee! It's been wayyyy too long!'

• Taka REALLY isn't comfortable with what's happening.

• This girl, who must still be about 15, is pressed up far too much to her cousin - touching his arm VERY inappropriately and with her face FAR too close to be innocent.

• And Leon looks terrified - pressed right up against the window to try and be as far as possible but is quite obviously trapped.

• 'I think Leon needs a bit of space...'

• 'No this is how we ALWAYS are! We're SUPER close, aren't we Lee?'

• 'Leon doesn't look comfortable.'

• 'I said we're close. I don't need to listen to you.'

• 'I really think you should back off a bit.'

• 'And I think you should go to HELL!'

• Aha. Here we go. The act has dropped and there's a possessive, dangerous look in her eye as she snarls towards Taka.

• 'What do YOU know about my Lee?'

• 'He's not 'your Lee'...'

• 'YES HE IS! HE'S MINE! And YOU can't have him!'

• Leon looks absolutely powerless as Kanon crushes herself against him - begging Taka to help him with tearful eyes as he shrinks into himself in shame.

• Yeah. Enough is enough.

• Taka stands up and grabs Leon by the hand - using his entire strength to pull him (and therefore Kanon) out of the stall and towards the door.

• 'GET OFF MY LEE!'

• The girl goes crazy, punching and kicking Taka in an attempt to stop him until she's held back by other concerned patrons of the cafe.

• 'I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU FOR STEALING HIM! I HATE YOU!'

• Taka makes sure to push Leon out of the cafe before heading back abd he glares down at the girl in front of him.

• 'If you truly give a damn about Leon, then you will realise just what damage you've done today. You've humilated him in public, you have degraded him and you have shown a side to yourself that I'm sure you'll be ashamed of. Your feelings are obsessive and you need to get some help.'

• All the rage and emotion floods out of Kanon as she sees Leon sobbing outside, guilt and embarrassment taking over as she truly sees what she has become.

• Oh but Taka isn't done.

• With an ice cold looks, he offers one final warning.

• 'If you EVER pull this kind of shit again, I will not hesitate to involve the police. I don't care who you are or how young you are. I will NOT tolerate MY boyfriend being abused by anyone - especially his own family. So stay the fuck away from him.'

• Of course, the date is over so the rest of the day is spent comforting Leon in the solitude of Taka's dorm.

• Leon tells Taka everything right from the beginning and Taka vows to himself that he will keep Leon safe.

• And who knows? Maybe one day Kanon will realise what she's done and bridges can be built once again.

• But that's not for now.

• For now, Taka needs to remind this beautiful boy in his arms just how much he means to him in every single way he can.

#kiyotaka ishimaru #leon kuwata #ishileon #kanon nakajima #tw: obsession #tw: obsessive behaviour #ask request #conicalcrowd

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rkived · 4 years

Text

━ CHASING PAVEMENTS | JJK

↳ PAIRING: dad!jk/married!jk/bff!jk x reader (ft. taehyung)

↳ GENRE/TAGS: f2l, angst, unrequited feelings au, sad stuff, future smut

↳ WARNINGS: (for this chapter) time jumps bc i can’t write smooth transitions to save my life aha, mentions of a troubling marriage, mentions of alcohol consumption, also jk isn’t the bestest friend ever but we love him don’t we?

↳ WORD COUNT: 6.2k

↳ EXCERPT: ‘‘But tonight, Jungkook is taking a different route. One that does not lead to his home, but to your apartment building instead. He never takes it unless it’s Friday, the day he drops Sunhi off in your care for a few hours while he pretends he wants to fix whatever marital issues he has.’’

↳ A/N: today i give u ‘‘married dad jungkook who has feelings for his best friend but for obvious reasons won’t tell her’’ tomorrow?? who knows!! i’m planning a pt2 but lmk what u think!!

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 (coming soon)

Sunhi shared a slice of the sandwich you had made for her, giving you a smile as she handed over the other half of her PB&J. You thanked her, taking it from her tiny hand because if you didn’t, then she would be upset at you for rejecting her.

She watched her favorite show ‘‘Chip & Potato’’ on your couch as she clutched to her favorite plush toy, a Dumbo tsum tsum you had gifted on her birthday. You didn’t think she’d like it that much, but Jungkook let you know she took it everywhere she went, explaining the reason as to why the plush looked dirty all the time.

Eventually the show is ignored, Sunhi falling asleep on your arm as you find yourself distracted on your phone, waiting for her dad to pick her up. You smile at the sight of the peaceful sleeping girl, running your fingers through her soft dark hair.

At around 11:30 PM, Jungkook texts you that he’s outside, not wanting to risk pressing the doorbell and waking his daughter up. If there was something that could change Sunhi’s calm and sweet demeanor, it was being abruptly woken up.

He’s giving you those apologetic eyes you’re starting to get used to, picking his daughter later than usual was becoming a regular thing now. You roll your eyes in exchange, tilting your head to the side and let him in.

Jungkook smells good, like he just recently showered. Guessing he had, not wanting you to smell the ‘‘I just got laid’’ scent you knew he most likely had before.

‘‘I’m so sorry’’ he mumbled, picking Sunhi as delicately as he could, careful not to wake her up. You didn’t know if he was talking to you or his daughter, but you swat your hand in the air either way, at this point being used to his never ending apologies.

Jungkook chuckled at the paused image of Sunhi’s favorite show on your T.V screen, confirming the theory he had that his daughter not only forced him to watch the cute kid’s show. He could always tell what places Sunhi had been in your apartment, she always managed to leave a trail of her things behind.

You finished putting her stuff back in the backpack she always carried around, it was double her size but she refused to wear anything smaller. She always brought something new to your place, whether it was a book or some crayons, always excited to show you whatever her dad had bought for her.

That day it was the brand new farm themed wooden puzzle. She begged you to put it together with her around ten times. Not like you complained, you enjoyed seeing the excitement in her face whenever the puzzle was finally built.

This suits you, he had mentioned once. It was a night he had caught you bathing Sunhi in the bathtub, the little girl was having the time of her life playing with the bubbles and her toys, not even noticing her father’s presence.

You hadn’t thought much of the comment because taking care of Sunhi wasn’t rocket science. The kid deserved credits too. She was calm, sweet and well behaved. Notoriously known for turning ‘‘children haters’’ into her fans. That’s how good she was.

But Jiwoo isn’t this good, he’d mumble under his breath. You didn’t know if he wanted you to hear that or if he was thinking out loud without realizing it. Either way, you ignored it too. You weren’t particularly fond of his wife, but you weren’t going to let him know that. You had kept it up for years now and weren’t going to give it up over a simple comment.

Not even when he confessed that the reason why he needed your help looking over Sunhi once a week was because his marriage with Jiwoo wasn’t as great as it seemed, feeling like it was hanging on a thread. They both needed time to be alone with each other. You didn’t like Jiwoo, but Jungkook loved her and he was your friend at the end of the day.

But if anybody asked, you were only doing it because you loved spending time with Sunhi.

‘‘She was saying oh my gosh all day yesterday’’ Jungkook let you know and you stifled a laugh ‘‘Jiwoo kept wondering where she had learned it from and I had to pretend I didn’t know’’ he chuckled and you shrugged your shoulders, not like it was something you often said and the toddler decided to pick up.

You smiled at him doing the same to his sleeping daughter in his arms. Sunhi was just like him, there was no way he could ever deny her. You often joked to yourself that Jiwoo had only acted as a kangaroo and Sunhi as her joey.

Jungkook never let you know about most of the things going on in his life. He was still young, but he felt like the only exciting thing going on for him was Sunhi. Which is why most of the texts you both exchanged between each other were exclusively Sunhi content. It was a pleasant surprise to be sitting in your office and to randomly receive a video of the little girl doing whatever her dad thought was cool enough to send you.

Needless to say it was almost anything she did.

You barely knew about Jungkook’s job, the one he had taken when Jiwoo told him she was pregnant. Videography and editing were not going to work for him anymore.

Jungkook had changed a lot, but you thought that the parent life looked good on him. You hoped he hadn’t forgotten about the parts of himself you loved the most, but either way, he was doing alright for himself. Or at the very least, you hoped he was happy.

‘‘Thank you again, Y/N’’ he replied with a small smile and you nodded, letting him know it was okay ‘‘Hey, what do you say we go and grab breakfast before work one of these days? Y’know, like we did back in college?’’ He suggested, a hopeful look in his eyes.

You wondered why he had suddenly thought about that. It was only during freshman year that you and he would occasionally go for breakfast at that 24/7 dinner around campus. Before Jiwoo came into his life, hogging all of his attention and you ended up learning your place.

But you couldn’t just say no to him ‘‘Only if you pay’’ you joked and he nodded quickly, it’s what he was going to do anyway.

You placed a small kiss on Sunhi’s puffy cheek, making Jungkook chuckle. You waved him goodbye as he left your apartment building.

Five days later, you finally found yourself at the coffee shop that Jungkook had told you about while deciding where to meet. He was accompanied by Sunhi, but you knew that since he explained that after this he’d drop her off at her kindergarten.

‘‘Sunhi, pumpkin, be careful’’ Jungkook spoke, readjusting the napkin he had placed over her shirt to avoid her from spilling anything over it. You giggled at the sight, Sunhi kept eating as if it was no one’s business while her dad struggled to keep the napkin in place.

Jungkook huffed at the sight of his daughter not paying attention to him, giving you a can you believe it? look ‘‘I don’t know how I’ll manage once she becomes a teenager’’ he sighed, the thought of the fast approaching future making him shiver. You rolled your eyes at your dramatic friend ‘‘She’s precious, stop it’’ you warned with your index finger.

Jungkook handed her his phone, playing ‘’Chip & Potato’’ on the Netflix app. This immediately got the girl concentrated and forgetting what was going on around her. He tried his best on not letting Sunhi consume too much technology, but he wanted to talk to you and he knew he wouldn’t be able to without his daughter chiming in on whatever it was grownups talked about, she was at that stage now.

‘‘You seem tired’’ you noted, the dark circles around his eyes were a little more prominent, indicating that he must’ve stayed up late. ‘‘Yeah, boss is on my ass about a report I’m supposed to turn in today’’ he complained, the look on his face telling you that he felt overwhelmed about it ‘‘Every day I walk there I just want to call it quits” he revealed in a sigh and you raised your eyebrows in surprise.

‘‘Why don’t you?’’

Jungkook’s head cocked slightly to where Sunhi was busy drinking her orange juice, focusing on the device’s screen.

‘‘I still don’t know why you gave up the whole GCF thing, it was a nice pay’’ you spoke, not looking into his eyes as you played with the remaining food on your plate, afraid that maybe he’d get upset about the mention of his old freelancing job.

He sighed, thinking about those days. Shaking his head slightly, as if to throw away those thoughts, he readjusted his posture on the chair ‘‘But it wasn’t stable, I had to do what was best for her’’.

Sunhi or Jiwoo?

‘‘I want to know what’s up with you, though’’ he quickly changed the topic, obviously not in the mood to discuss the decisions he regretted making. Not wanting to prod, you nodded and accepted to talk about your unamusing life.

‘‘Well, life’s been pretty good’’ you began and he placed his chin over his hand, focusing all his attention on you ‘‘Can’t complain about my job, honestly. My boss tries to act all tough, but he’s a sweetheart’’ you chuckled at the thought of CEO Min Yoongi, 1.74, who every time he raised his voice would immediately apologize ‘‘I also started taking yoga on Saturday mornings! So that’s exciting, I guess’’.

Jungkook smiled, glad that between the both of you, it was you who was doing alright. He didn’t have much to brag about besides Sunhi. Hell, even boring yoga sounded more thrilling than anything he had done the past year.

‘‘Uhm, I also think I’m going on a date soon?’’ you added out of the blue, making Jungkook look at you in surprise. ‘‘You think?’’ he asked and you scratched the back of your neck, he knew right away that you were nervous. ‘‘I mean, yeah? It’s just that it happened yesterday, it’s a friend of Minji’s’’.

Jungkook knows Minji, she’s been your best friend for as long as he could remember. She’s never really liked him and she’s been very up-front about it. He doesn’t know why, but it’s always been that way.

‘‘Oh, do you know him?’’ Jungkook asked, eyes focusing on the way your fingers played with the rim of your empty coffee mug ‘‘I don’t, actually’’ you laughed and Jungkook wanted to know what was so funny about that ‘‘but Minji’s been trying to set us up for a while now and─I don’t know, why not?’’ you shrugged.

It had been a while since you had gone on a date, you weren’t exactly desperate, but Minji was growing tired of you talking about Jungkook─a married man─and his daughter. So, to please her you decided to go through with the blind date that wasn’t as blind since she had informed you about every single thing you needed to know about Kim Taehyung, promising that you’d thank her later.

Jungkook didn’t know what it was, but something inside of him felt weird about it. It wasn’t usual for either of you to share much about each other’s private lives, in fact, most of your conversations nowadays revolved around Sunhi. He had never bothered to ask about your love life either, too consumed in his own one.

Not like he shared much about that, anyway. The most he had done was confessing that his marriage was starting to take a toll on both him and Jiwoo and he only did it so you could take care of Sunhi once a week.

You hadn’t said much to him then, only giving him a comforting hug, assuring that things were going to be okay. So far, Jungkook felt like things were only getting worse. Things were Jiwoo were like that. One day it was good, then the next ten days it was bad.

‘‘Are you nervous?’’ Jungkook wondered and you shrugged your shoulders. Sunhi was giggling about something on the phone’s screen and you smiled gently at the sight, making Jungkook do too. ‘‘A little, but I’ll be fine’’ you assured, the smile still on your face as you turned to look back at him.

Before he could comment, Sunhi had spilled orange juice on his phone screen and he was now quickly wiping it away as he silently scolded the little girl.

You quietly giggled as she apologized to her dad in a mumble. Turning to look at you with a mischievous smile on her face.

Sunhi is crying and it’s 1 AM.

Jungkook wakes up at the sound of his daughter’s cries, Jiwoo is obviously upset that her sleep is being disturbed, but makes no effort to find out what’s wrong, it wasn’t the first time it happened this week.

Jungkook is rubbing at his sleepy eyes as he enters Sunhi’s room, where the little girl is sobbing into her Dumbo plush toy. He makes a mental note to put it in the washer later that day when she’s taking a nap.

‘‘What’s wrong, pumpkin?’’ he asks her, sitting next to her in the tiny bed, fingers wiping her tears ‘‘Another bad dream?’’ she nods with a pout.

Sunhi hadn’t expressed what those bad dreams consisted of and he didn’t want to pressure her into telling him either. It was the third time this week where he’d be abruptly woken up by her crying, but it didn’t take much to put her back to sleep. Gentle humming and running his fingers through her soft hair were enough to do the job.

He was worried, not deeming it normal. Whenever he tried to mention it to Jiwoo, she’d dismiss it and tell him Sunhi was just crying for attention. Eventually that would lead to an argument and Jungkook was growing tired of it, he didn’t even have the energy to do it anymore.

Once Sunhi’s back asleep, Jungkook returns to his bedroom. He lays down and notices Jiwoo’s peacefully sleeping, as if nothing had even happened. He makes another mental note to not tell his wife the events of the night. His eyes drift to his charging phone on his nightstand, picking it up to text you.

You were the only person that seemed to care about his daughter’s well being anyway.

[1:23 AM] Jeon Jungkook: sunhi woke up crying again

[1:23 AM] Jeon Jungkook: another nightmare

[1:24 AM] Jeon Jungkook: she still doesn’t tell me what it is tho

To Jungkook’s surprise, the 3 dots popped up, meaning you were awake and replying to his texts. He waits patiently for your answer, forgetting he was sleepy just minutes before.

[1:25 AM] Y/N: poor bibi :(

[1:25 AM] Y/N: u want me to talk to her?

Jungkook had considered the idea before. He had seen you handle Sunhi’s rare, but powerful, tantrums better than he or Jiwoo ever could. But he didn’t want to give you that responsibility, it was his and his wife’s anyway. It was enough that you babysat her for free already.

[1:25 AM] Jeon Jungkook: what are u doing up?

[1:26 AM] Jeon Jungkook: u have work

[1:26 AM] Y/N: lol so do u!

[1:26 AM] Jeon Jungkook: yeah but u don’t have a 3 year old kid who cries at 1 am

Jungkook doesn’t receive a message right away, making him think that maybe his reply wasn’t the right one. The three dots pop up and disappear a few times until he eventually gets his answer.

[1:28 AM] Y/N: so u want me to talk to her?

[1:28 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i don’t wanna bother u with this

[1:29 AM] Y/N: u already texted me about it

[1:29 AM] Y/N: i don’t mind srsly u know i care about every single thing regarding sunhi

Jungkook gently smiles at your reply, because he knows you’re being genuine. He is thankful for many things you have done for him since the beginning of your friendship, the biggest being your unconditional love for his daughter.

[1:30 AM] Jeon Jungkook: alright

[1:30 AM] Jeon Jungkook: but go to sleep now

His messages are left on read. Having to settle with the faith that you had listened to him, he put his phone back on the nightstand and forced himself to sleep and get ready for another day ahead.

Taehyung is a sweet guy. Your first date consisted of him taking you out to an Italian restaurant, sharing information about each other in between glasses of wine and forkfuls of pasta.

He lives an interesting life you assume from what he tells you. He likes to travel, photography and the arts. He shows you pictures he’s taken, the places he’s visited and mentions the deep admiration he feels towards Van Gogh.

Where the hell did Minji find this guy?, you wonder.

Taehyung explains his relationship with Minji, a family friend, who after years of not seeing each other, gets back in contact with her because he recently switched jobs and he now works with Minji. He reveals that she always threw your name whenever they both chatted, which made you feel embarrassed.

Minji is your wing-woman even when you’re not aware.

He took you back to your apartment and you wondered if you’ll see him again, you hoped he agreed. Taehyung smiled and for the first time that night, there’s an awkward silence in the air. Should you head inside now and call it a night? You gave him a slight nod, and before you could open your apartment’s door, you felt Taehyung’s hand grab your wrist, making you face him again.

You waited for him to say something, it seemed that his gears were turning as fast as ever, probably thinking what his next move should be. Taehyung’s lips landed a kiss on your forehead, it’s quick and unexpected, making you release a small gasp. He looked at you and mentally slapped himself for doing that, knowing it wasn’t a good idea.

But your cheeks flush and you let out a breathless chuckle ‘‘Cute’’ you whisper and he smiles, confidence back like it never left. ‘‘I want to see you again’’ he reveals and your eyebrows shot up, pleasantly surprised by his confession ‘‘if you’d like, that is!’’ he adds, hoping he hadn’t messed up given your reaction.

‘‘I’d like that very much, actually’’ you answer and he flashes you a smile different from the ones he had given you throughout the night, this one feels a lot more careless, like he’s genuinely smiling and it’s cute.

Taehyung says good night and leaves, telling you he’d text you once he got home. You rush into your apartment once he’s out of sight and immediately call Minji, since she had begged you to do so once the date was over. You spend around thirty minutes telling her about your time with him and then you end up thanking her, you knew you’d end up doing that.

There’s a feeling inside of you that you haven’t felt in a long time and you like it. It stays with you for what’s left of the night, while you take your makeup off and do your skincare routine. It lingers while you clean your apartment, even if it’s not messy at all. It remains as you keep texting Taehyung, the messages are flirty now and you can’t help but smile, already talking about when and where you’ll see each other next.

And as you’re tucking yourself into bed, surprisingly excited for your early yoga class the next morning, you receive a text from Jungkook with a picture attached. You smile, already knowing what you’ll see.

⦍12:34 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: sunhi was upset that her auntie y/n decided to go on a date tonight instead of spending time with her

The picture was of a frowning Sunhi, mouth in a pout and her arms crossed. It seemed the photo was taken hours before since she was sitting in her booster seat with a plate of food in front of her.

⦍12:35 AM⦎ Y/N: u sure it’s not only sunhi who’s upset?

You had to tell Jungkook the day before that you wouldn’t be able to look over Sunhi today. That created some trouble for him, knowing he’d have to deal with his irritable wife who had gotten used to her ‘off’ days from Sunhi to get her husband all to herself. Needless to say, he wasn’t ecstatic about it.

He tried his hardest to sound happy about your date, but if anything, it came out as forced.

⦍12:35 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: pfff whaaat?

⦍12:36 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: i was the one who told her auntie y/n is getting herself a husband to give her a cousin to play with!!

He hadn’t, actually. It was Jiwoo who had come up with the ridiculous ─as Jungkook would put it─ idea to get Sunhi to stop crying for you. His wife was going crazy and that was the first thing she could think about. It ended up working, Sunhi’s cries calmed down as the thought of having a baby cousin to play with only made her excited.

But the idea did not settle right with Jungkook, who instead told his wife later on not to lie to their daughter. Jiwoo frowned ‘‘Who says I’m lying? I hope she’s getting laid, she needs it’’ she chuckled and Jungkook’s voice raised a little ‘‘Don’t say that’’.

His wife ignores it, already used to their dumb arguments ‘‘Why not?’’ she wonders, giving him a questioning look and Jungkook asks himself what bothers him so much about the white lie Jiwoo said.

‘‘Just─don’t lie to Sunhi’’.

⦍12:37 AM⦎ Y/N: are u crazy???

⦍12:38 AM⦎ Y/N: now next time i see her she’s going to be asking about it

⦍12:38 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: what’s wrong about it?

⦍12:38 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: did the date suck? was he an asshole?

Throughout the night Jungkook had wondered how your date was going. You hadn’t given him much information about the guy you were going out with. The only thing he knew was that his name was Kim Taehyung and he was two years older than you.

He doesn’t know why, but recently he’s been feeling weird. He’s thinking about you during times where he normally wouldn’t.

Like when he’s at work hating every minute of it, memories of you encouraging him are the only thing that make him hold on until it’s clock out time.

Or whenever Sunhi slips your name while she’s playing by herself or when she says oh my gosh, because that’s your thing and now it’s his daughter’s too.

⦍12:39 AM⦎ Y/N: oh my gosh no lol

⦍12:39 AM⦎ Y/N: he’s actually super sweet!! i’m seeing him again soon

Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat. Was he expecting a different result? He knows you’re charming and sweet, any guy who wouldn’t want to keep going out with you was obviously an idiot.

He typed something out, but deleted it before he was able to press send. He does it again and again. He wants to be a good friend and ask how your date went and maybe find out more about the guy who had you feeling excited. But he can’t, because in reality he doesn’t want to know more.

Not because he doesn’t care, but because he’s feeling a little weird right now.

⦍12:43 AM⦎ Y/N: did u fall asleep??

Jungkook meditates on what to answer. Sighing, he begins typing again.

⦍12:45 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: just make sure your dates don’t fall on sunhi’s days

⦍12:45 AM⦎ Jeon Jungkook: please

Jungkook doesn’t even bother waiting for you to answer and throws his phone somewhere it could have a safe landing, just a few inches away from him. He takes a swig of the bottle of beer he had forgotten was on the coffee table of the living room. His daughter and wife are both fast asleep already.

He figures he should be sleeping too, but his mind is running all over the place and he’s trying to figure out what is going on with him.

His phone buzzes and the screen lights up, he peeks a little to see your replies.

⦍12:46 AM⦎ Y/N: it was just for tonight

[12:46 AM] YN: i won’t ever miss my days with sunhi again

⦍12:46 AM⦎ Y/N: good night kook

Minji scowls as she reads the texts Jungkook sent you a few days ago. She hands you back your phone with distaste.

“What an ungrateful little bitch” she says and you gasp, she shrugs “It’s the truth, he’s always been like this!” You shake your head slightly, you didn’t expect another reaction from her “You’re just saying that ‘cause you don’t like him”.

The restaurant you’re both having lunch at is filled with groups of people who had come out during their own lunch breaks. You had asked to meet up with Minji since you wanted to talk somewhere besides a phone call, it was a little hard to see each other face to face nowadays.

“And with good reason,” she argued back “you take care of his daughter for free and he wants to act petty ‘cause you’re having a social life?” Minji sounds offended, as if Jungkook’s messages were directed at her, but you understand where she’s coming from, she’s always been an overprotective friend.

But you don’t really feel the same. Jungkook’s message at the time did upset you, but after the yoga class the next morning, you decided to brush it aside. In the end, Jungkook didn’t need to know about your private life, the only thing that mattered was Sunhi and you agreed on that.

“And what? You’re just gonna take care of her forever? You’re not her mom!” Minji’s voice is slightly raised, but the other clients don’t care, too busy in their own conversations.

There was something that ticked you off about that comment. Minji’s right, you’re not Sunhi’s mom. Jiwoo is and she’s supposed to be a good one. You only take care of Sunhi once a week—Fridays, the days that Jungkook and his wife had mutually agreed to be their day. Days they could, for a few hours, feel like what life is for them without worrying for their daughter.

You’re not Sunhi’s mom, but you’ve taught her things a mom should. It bothers you when the little girl expresses she’s asked questions to her mom and Jiwoo dismisses her, only for Sunhi to wait for Fridays and ask you instead, knowing you’ll always answer.

But you don’t let Minji know what you’re thinking, instead sighing and answering “It’s only once a week and it’s while they work their things out” you explain, it wasn’t the first time you let her know about it. “Working things out, my ass,” Minji bitterly replies “all they do is angry fuck while you’re stuck babysitting for them”.

Minji is harsh, but she’s right. You’ve always known that. Ever since Jungkook would pick Sunhi up from your place with a different set of clothes than the ones he had left her with. Always smelling fresh and clean, like he had just taken a shower minutes before.

But you never asked what it was that they did while Sunhi wasn’t around, it was none of your business anyway. You had never begged Jungkook to tell you about his problems, usually waiting for one of those rare days he’d let his tongue loose.

“I know you’re trying to be a good friend, but you shouldn’t put your life on hold for him” Minji speaks more calmly now, noticing the troubled look on your face “he’s never done that for you, Y/N”.

Her words weigh heavy on your mind, but you decide to toughen up and clear your throat. “I’m only doing this for Sunhi” you reply firmly.

Minji sighs and shakes her head slightly, deciding that trying to convince you about the reality of the situation was hard and you’d probably never let up anyway.

You’re brushing Sunhi’s wet hair after her bath while she’s focused on brushing her own doll’s hair with a plastic brush. Jungkook is supposed to pick her up soon, but you prepare yourself to wait an hour later from what he had initially said he’d be at.

‘‘Sunhi, baby, can I ask you something?’’ you ask and she nods absentmindedly, still focused on her doll’s hair ‘‘Your daddy mentioned that you’ve been having bad dreams, is it true?’’ you question carefully, not wanting to startle the little girl.

She nods, but stops brushing the doll’s hair, lowering the toy and placing it on your bed ‘‘Yeah…’’ she speaks, you can feel a hint of sadness in her answer and you frown. ‘‘May I know what those bad dreams are about?’’ you continue brushing her hair, trying to give her some sort of comfort due to the delicate topic.

Sunhi hesitates at first, but nods again ‘‘I don’t really remember them much’’ she begins explaining and you allow her to continue ‘‘come closer, it’s a secret’’ she whispers and you nod, getting closer to her mouth that she’s now covered as if no one could read her lips. She speaks lowly in your ear ‘‘There’s always two dragons that are throwing fire at each other all the time!’’.

You don’t know much about child psychology or dream telling for that matter, but you begin to tie two and two together and figure out what the toddler means. Sunhi sighs and picks her doll up to continue combing her hair as she hums, losing interest in the topic.

‘‘Hey, how about you and I bake some cupcakes together?’’ you offer and Sunhi gasps in surprise and quickly nods, ecstatic to get herself off your bed and rush into the kitchen.

And while you took the ingredients out of your fridge, Sunhi mumbled ‘Auntie Y/N’ and you looked over at her, her expression shows concern.

‘‘Yeah?’’

‘‘Don’t tell daddy about the dragons, I don’t wan’ him to be scared too’’.

You knew it wasn’t right. It’s not like Jungkook was begging for you to find out, he had told you this wasn’t your responsibility anyway. But right now it felt like you owed more loyalty to Sunhi than him.

Stretching your pinky out, Sunhi automatically interlaced her own tiny pinky with yours, already knowing what it meant.

‘‘Your secret’s safe with me’’.

It’s another one of those days for Jungkook.

Those ‘I had a shitty day at work and my wife’s cursing my ass off so I’m going out to the bar to drink a little’ days.

And normally after, he would go back home and find his wife asleep. Sunhi too. He hated having to leav her, but whenever he felt frustrated, he preferred not to be around his daughter. He didn’t want her to see him like that.

But tonight, Jungkook is taking a different route. One that does not lead to his home, but instead your apartment building. He never takes it unless it’s Friday, the days he drops Sunhi off in your care for a few hours while he pretends he wants to fix whatever marital issues he has.

He’s always been stubborn, thinking everything has a solution. For the first few months, he did believe things could get fixed. That his honeymoon days would come back and that Jiwoo would remember what it was like feeling the joy of being a mom. But he’s come to realize that she’s past that stage and only wants him to herself.

And that wasn’t even all the time.

Jungkook wonders why he doesn't visit you more often. Life did take a turn once Sunhi was born, but it wasn’t like you minded about it. In fact, before the whole babysitting deal began, you were always begging to see her. That’s why when Jungkook offered the chance for you to look after her, you accepted right away. You weren’t even charging him.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in his system that’s making him go back through memory lane, but this is the only way he’s able to remember what time was like before. When it was only you and him. Jungkook wishes he could do it more often, but it seems that every single thing in his life makes it difficult for him to do so.

Freshman year went by in a blur, but it’s his most memorable year in college. Maybe it was the feeling of everything being new and exciting, the fact he could go to parties and get drunk without his parents knowing, enjoying the classes he had chosen because he loved his Film Major more than anything.

But Jungkook can’t speak about his freshman year antics without including you. Even when you weren’t present, you always lingered around. He knew during those parties he went and got drunk at, that you’d be by his side the next morning helping him out with his hangover. Or if he needed help with an assignment and had to choose who to shoot with, you’d always be there to work as his model even though you hated being on camera.

And even now, years later, you’re still helping him out. Jungkook wonders what he’s done for you. You’ve never asked for anything, let alone his help. You’ve never thrown anything in his face, letting him know what a shitty friend he’s been.

He doesn’t tell you much about the things that trouble him, they’re too much and he doesn’t want to bother you further. He wishes you could tell him more about your life. He knows the basics. Where you work, who are your friends and what you do when you’re bored. But he wishes he could go deeper, ironic considering he barely offers you the same.

Jungkook does not like that Kim Taehyung guy you’ve been going out for the past weeks. Out of all the things you could’ve told him, he wished he didn’t know about his existence. He’s come to terms with that, he doesn’t like the feeling, but it’s there and it doesn’t seem to go away.

It’s selfish to say, but he’s been waiting for the day the guy fucks it up.

‘‘And when he does, what are you going to do? What will you earn from it?’’

His conscience always asks. It’s a good question, but Jungkook doesn’t know. Is he supposed to do something? You’re his friend. Actually, you’re his best and only friend. There’s never been any feelings between each other, besides platonic ones.

But Jungkook’s been feeling weird and he can’t recall exactly since when. Maybe it was that one time he picked Sunhi up early at your place, his night ruined once Jiwoo decided to pick up a fight about something he can’t even remember anymore. Seeing you have the time of your life with his daughter made him feel all tingly inside.

He had even slipped a comment about how Jiwoo wasn’t half as good as you when it came to his daughter. It doesn’t sound fair, but Jiwoo doesn’t even try. That’s one of the biggest reasons as to why they argue all the time. Jungkook knows Sunhi isn’t yours, but you sure act like she is.

Maybe then, maybe after, maybe even before.

He can’t tell you this for obvious reasons. You don’t know much about his feelings and you probably would never understand, anyway. He also doesn’t want to ruin the friendship you both share because the only thing that’s keeping it alive is Sunhi and nothing else.

Not even his marriage could say the same thing.

That too. He’s married and for that reason alone he shouldn’t be feeling this way.

Jungkook doesn’t know what he’s doing once he's parked outside your apartment building.

It’s the alcohol, he thinks.

Yeah, it’s the alcohol, he confirms once he feels a wave of confidence wash through him. But whatever he had, it quickly vanished once he spotted you climbing the stairs that lead to your apartment building.

You’re laughing like you were just told the funniest joke in the world. There’s an arm supporting you, snaked around your waist as you’re holding on to his shoulder. He’s never seen Kim Taehyung, but he knows it’s him.

And by the way you’re kissing the black curly haired guy, he knows it’s definitely the guy you had, with excitement, told him about.

Jungkook’s only seen you tipsy once in all of his years knowing you, the image is too vivid to forget so that’s how he can tell right away you’re currently in that state.

He sighs and turns his car engine back to life, he realizes he shouldn’t be here right now. It feels like he just peeked into something he shouldn’t have and he wishes he hadn’t.

The weird feeling persists once he gets home. Sunhi is asleep, as usual holding her Dumbo plush close to her chest. Jungkook places a kiss on her forehead and he notices the way the corners of her lips raise slightly.

It’s cold when he lays in his bed, even with the fuzzy blanket he puts over himself. There’s a big gap between him and where Jiwoo lies peacefully. Jungkook wonders how she’s able to sleep like that whereas he gets restless nights instead.

Jungkook will wait, he’ll be patient.

But for now, he’ll continue pretending this is still worth saving.

#jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #writing #masterlist #f: chasing pavements #the stress i had to go through for that header....yup #also if this doesn't pop up on the tags i'm just deleting and reuploading another day

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