#that being said if anyone has a specific part they want giffed shoot me an ask ill be happy to do it <3

[christakisbang]

thank you for 200 episodes of channie’s room, here’s to many, many more

[yourmcu]

Natalie

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Stark!reader (platonic), Tony Stark x daughter!reader

Summary:

You met Natasha for the first time while she was undercover as Natalie. You’re not overly fond of how your first meeting went.

Word count: 1,390

Warnings: none (that means fluff)

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

“How was the field trip, Miss Stark?”

"Good actually, just feeling a bit under the weather,” you sniffle while the front door slides close behind you. “It was probably the heavy air conditioning on the bus.”

You drop your duffel bag beside the couch while Jarvis reassures you that somebody will get you a hot meal to make you feel better. You had gotten back in the early hours of the morning so Pepper and even Tony would still be asleep, and you're already sure Happy is going to be upset when he finds out you took the bus home instead of calling him.

You go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and sit down by the kitchen island. It’s almost six, anyone would wake up soon. So you just sit there trying to deal with your headache.

Natasha is always up early ever since she got the position as an assistant for Stark’s company. As much as possible she keeps the snooping around to a minimal, or makes sure to finish the tasks Pepper gave her first before looking out for Tony to see what he was up to.

She had seen a framed photo of you and Tony in the living room. She immediately wondered who you were, seeing as the public doesn’t fully know Tony Stark had a child, and if Fury knew about you. She casually brought it up when both her and Pepper were working though: “Tony’s daughter. Y/N doesn’t like to be in the spotlight that much.”

When Jarvis notifies her that “Miss Stark has arrived and could use some soup.”, she puts her paperwork aside and strides out of the room. Natasha doesn’t trust this whole daughter thing. Tony Stark is a busy - and a reckless man, he doesn’t have time for one, at least, that’s what she thinks. Maybe she’s a child prodigy he hired or something, or possibly an agent.

You raise your head a bit when you hear the clopping of heals, feeling very much relieved that Pepper’s awake - except it isn’t Pepper.

Her movements are swift as she enters the room. She clutches her clipboard at her side as she got a good look at you. Huh. I thought she’d be much younger.

“Uh, hello,” you say awkwardly, eyes flicking from her, to your side, and at the door. Oh god, dad’s having one night stands again. You thought for sure he'll end up with Pepper. This woman looks like a reporter, except she managed to dress herself unlike-

“Do you have a soup preference?”

“What?” You blink. You don’t like it when your father sleeps with women who wander around the house in the morning. When they see you they want to take photos, sometimes an interview when you were still in your pajamas. But this one is asking you what kind of soup you like. Maybe she’s hungover? “The... uh, the exit’s down the hall on the left, I can ring a driver if you need a ride, if you want,”

You really wish Tony or Pepper would walk in now.

“What gave you the impression that I want to leave?”

Something about the way she said that made an alarm go off inside you. You want nothing more than to run. “Okay, I’m-” you get up, taking your water bottle with you. You try to avoid her gaze because it follows you until you're at the door. “I’m just gonna... just gonna go.” And you sprint away.

You head to Tony’s lab and enter your code when you see him working on an old red car. “Dad,” you breathe out and his eyes light up when he sees you.

“Hey bud, when did you get home?” His breath reeks of alcohol and it isn’t surprising that he's getting no sleep again.

“The reporter you mingled with is still here and she doesn’t want to leave.”

“Reporter?”

“Yes, reporter, or I don’t know... whatever her occupation is,” you raise your voice a bit. “You know I can’t do anything about when you - when you take someone home-”

Tony stops his fidgeting. “That’s none of your business.”

“Okay fine, sorry, but-”

“Look, I’m sure you’ve had a rough trip back,” he gets up and wipes his hands. “But there’s not a single reporter, or whatever you’re talking about, here. Let’s go, I’m sure Natalie has breakfast ready.”

Natalie?

You open your mouth to object but Tony already has an arm around you and leads you out of his workplace. You’re only gone for a few weeks, curse them for not bothering to shoot you a text or something, just so that you're informed with everything that’s been going on-

“Mr. Stark?” That same, gentle but almost kind of robotic voice speaks. Well, that’s how you’d describe the red-headed stranger. You scoot closer to Tony when she came to view. “Miss Potts has specifically ordered me to tell you not to disturb her today. She’s very busy. Can I get both of you anything?”

You feel your lips part slowly, gaping at the two adults.

“I’m gonna go shower, you can assist Y/N here to whatever she needs,” Tony replies absentmindedly and walks away.

The man forgot you had no idea who the woman is and what she's doing here. “Who... who are you?” You turn to face her after you watchs your dad walk away and is now out of view.

“Natalie Rushman,” she replies matter-of-factly.

“But who - wait, why... what?”

Natasha could tell you really are Tony’s daughter and now found your confusion amusing. She decides to fill you in on everything that happened while you were away.

“Pepper’s CEO?! Hang on, I have to go see her-” But she gently places a hand on your shoulder.

“She doesn’t want to be disturbed today.”

“...right.”

After that interaction the both of you became close. You warmed up to her, and despite Natasha still being undercover she became softer around you, thinking you wouldn’t be able to put the pieces together and figure out what she was really doing here.

You’d ask her for advice, help for homework sometimes, talk about random shit, it was great.

Every time you both had the chance to talk you’d ask her random questions, they’d always leave you speculating.

“Dad said you modeled in Tokyo,” you point out one day while she’s filing paperwork and you had nothing better to do. “Why didn’t you pursue it? You know, modeling?”

She could’ve pursued being a boxer or something too, Happy also told you about the time she flipped him over in the boxing ring. You couldn’t imagine why she’d choose being an assistant over the other cool ones.

Natasha just glances at you for a moment and shrugs, returning to the task at hand. “It wasn’t my thing.”

But what made you upset? The day she left. You just built this bond with her, a friendship, and you didn’t see any reason why she had to leave. No one had any complaints with her, so why?

You ask Tony after him and Rhodey were honored in Washington. “Did you fire Ms. Rushman?”

“Sorry?” Tony removes his sunglasses hastily.

“I was just wondering why Natalie doesn’t work for you anymore.”

“Natasha.” He corrects.

Your eyebrows furrow as you look at him, “wh-”

“I didn’t fire her, kid,” he sighs. “But something tells me we’re gonna see her again soon.”

And you did, two years later.

-----

bonus:

“C’mon, Nat, stop,” you drag out after you leapt onto her and tried to cover her mouth. “It’s not funny!”

“And then - and then Y/N gave me this look when I walked in - oh god, she looked so creeped out, then-”

The room fills with laughter from the other avengers but the loudest ones were coming from Sam and Clint. She told them the story a few times and it still never gets old.

 “I still can’t believe you thought she was one of Tony’s flings,” Sam wipes a tear from his eye. “God, that’s gold!”

When she finishes, Natasha pulls you closer and tilts her head when she sees the pout on your face. “Aww, are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“I know you are,” oh no. She put on the voice she uses whenever she’s about to do something you didn’t like. Without warning, her hands go to your sides, tickling you mercilessly.

“NAT!”

[katnissmellarkkk]

Okayyyy here comes the next chapter ! Number .... lemme look. Okay, number six! 🥳🥳🥳

And yes, my thoughts as usual will be a messy, very Everlark-biased and full of typos. Letsss gooooo 🥰🥰🥰

Is this the first time Katniss and Peeta have been to their floor or is this just the most opportune time to explain and introduce the Tribute Center living quarters?

Also why are they called tributes anyway? That word suddenly seems weird to me after nine years... 🤔🤔🤔

“I've ridden the elevator a couple of times in the Justice Building back in District 12. Once to receive the medal for my father's death and then yesterday to say my final goodbyes to my friends and family” .... 😶😶 so only good memories and connotations to elevators then, huh?

“The walls of this elevator are made of crystal so that you can watch the people on the ground floor shrink to ants as you shoot up into the air.” My mind is just imagining the elevator in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone’s Spider-Man movies 🤗.

“It's exhilarating and I'm tempted to ask Effie Trinket if we can ride it again, but somehow that seems childish” this is so cute and innocent omg. Katniss, like I said in my last chapter blog, still has some childlike innocence left in her 🥺🥺🥺. I’m a sad.

Also excuse the unnecessary extra gif use but 🤭🤭🤭

Oh wow, so Haymitch hasn’t been around since they were on the train? No wonder neither Katniss nor Peeta fled they could trust him for basically the entirety of the first book. 😐😐😐

You know it’s bad when Effie being around feels like a blessing to Katniss. Girl has more restraint than me, I’d have ripped off this woman’s janky wig by now without remorse. ��🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Effie acts like they’re her purebred show dogs. I know I know how is this news, that’s a blatant fact. The movies really softened her up tho for the general audience. And I bleed the movies and books together more than I should 😔😔😔

Well at least she’s made herself useful, trying to get Everlark sponsors ... even if it’s ultimately to benefit herself above anyone else .... 😤

Effie calling Twelve barbaric while she’s preparing them for the slaughter isn’t even ironic it’s like literally just brainless. Johanna probably had the nickname floating around for a lot of people before she officially knighted Katniss with it 😭

“Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district.” Is this how they refer to Twelve? So basically if a district makes a better item, it’s a more worthy one in the Capitol’s eyes? So essentially, if District Eight made like diamonds or pearls or whatever then it would be more worthy? So are the districts assigned their numbers (one, two, three, four, etc) based on their order of importance to the Capitol’s lifestyle? I always thought it was based on their distance in relation to the Capitol? Okay so I didn’t really pay much attention to these facts previously when I read these books ok look away I’m an idiot

Omg 😭😭😭😭 Effie is such an idiot. But the coal turns to pearls thing is my favorite line from her only because it serves as the cutest inside joke when Peeta makes a callback to it in Catching Fire and Finnick is just like “why are these two teenagers so stupid who did I ally with? 🥵😳🥵😳🥵”

“I wonder if the people she's been plugging us to all day either know or care.” After reading Songbirds and Snakes, I’m sure they don’t have a clue, boo. 😑😑😑😑 although not everyone was an idiot back then ... maybe Snow is putting lead in the drinking water?

“But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary.” I know she’s trying to help and I know we say this kind of thing today, but considering this is two kids she’s well aware will be heading into a death match this is just bad wording I know surprise surprise 🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬😬

“Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.” Katniss really does see the best in people. What’s sad, y’all, is I think Katniss unconsciously really tries to like people and that’s why she has her guard up so high. Because the softer you are, the easier people will step all over you. Terrible phrasing here, Samantha, I’m so sorry to any of my readers ... okay now that sounded arrogant, implying I have readers 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

“My quarters are larger than our entire house back home.” Omg? I mean, yes, I knew this already obviously no duh but like also. Just the fact that three people live in a space smaller than a bedroom and bathroom arena is saddy sad sad. Also do they have indoor plumbing in the Seam or is their backyards just full of—okay, I’ll see myself out. 😶🤭😅🙃

“The shower alone has a panel with more than a hundred options you can choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges.” I’m just imagining a Spongebob scene ngl.

I’m sorry there’s so many gifs this time around it’s probably taking us out of the reading headspace I’ll never do it again 😩😩😩😩 I talk like I have a class of people listening to me 🤭🤭🤭

“Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly” I need this someone invent this NOW my brush is yanking out my hair 😔😩

“I program the closet for an outfit to my taste.” ‘Yes, Alexa, I’d like a hunting jacket, some boots and a green shirt. Yes, it can be brown.’

“You need only whisper a type of food from a gigantic menu into a mouthpiece and it appears, hot and steamy, before you in less than a minute.” I like this idea because it means that Peeta could order hot choccy to comfort Katniss after her nightmares in Catching Fire from the comfort of her their own bed. 🤗���🤗 also I want this for myself. The bad people are giving my greedy self ideas look away everyone 😬

“I walk around the room eating goose liver and puffy bread until there's a knock on the door.” 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Of everything you could have chosen, child, this is what you decided on? Someone help my girl and her rotten tastebuds now.

“Effie's calling me to dinner. Good. I'm starving.” Baby, you were just eating. She’s so nutritionally messed up. 😔😔😔

Katniss trying wine 🥳🥳🥳 she’s so funny, trying to find a way to improve the taste 😅. She’ll make a good taste tester for her baker husband one day.

Hahahaha Katniss not liking the feeling and judging Haymitch for always being tipsy. Also this is sad because she ends up addicted to morphling later one which is far worse than a little wine.

I’m glad to know Baked Alaska survived the apocalypse 😅🥳

Katniss just constantly trying to decipher the recipe of every meal and how to recreate it reads cute on a surface level but it’s actually so tragic because everything to this girl is based around food. Like even more than is typically noticed. They really should have given a hint at this in the first movie. Good thing she marries a man who can always keep her full.

I’m just forever side-eyeing you, Gare Bear.

That’s Gary Ross for the confused kids in the back.

Why does Katniss yelling mid-sentence, “oh! I know you!” add to her innocence? 🥺 it’s because she was overwhelmed by all the food and new luxuries she’d never even been able to imagine ... and also this is pre her first games so she’s still got some childhood left in her 😩😔

I wonder how Lavinia felt seeing Katniss volunteer and knowing she’d be her Avox? I wonder if she, like Cinna, somehow volunteered to be her Avox?

I mean ... talk about convenient placement that this specific girl was assigned to Katniss’ district—oh wait, y’all, I just caught myself. She’s from Twelve. She was assigned to Twelve’s tributes because she’s from there, duh. I’m such an airhead omg just call me Effie.

Don’t you actually dare.

“When I look back, the four adults are watching me like hawks.” Meanwhile, Peeta is just like 😬😬😬 eating his dinner.

Actually, ngl, this could be such a reach and it probably is but like maybe Peeta sensed a confrontation coming and, because of his implied upbringing, he naturally becomes silent or makes himself invisible when trouble starts looking like it’s gonna arise. 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t know why I say these things I’m just hurting my own feelings but ya know the drill. I thought it so I said it.

Why is Effie yelling at Katniss for saying she knows the Avox girl like omg overreaction much? And I know, the sky is blue 🙄🙄🙄 she’s prejudiced against basically everyone, I know, I know

Rip her wig off, Katty Deen 🤗🤗🤗

Oh I stupidly forgot that Avoxes are supposedly known by everyone to be traitors or criminals. So I suppose this isn’t Effie’s worst offense but I’m keeping a tally anyways

Katniss is blaming her stuttering on the wine but my girl just has social anxiety 😔😔😔

Peeta coming in with a save 😭😭😭 he’s already trying saving his girl 🤧

Alsoooo the unspoken friendship, the covering for the other and teaming up against the adults, is still riding high and going strong here 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 look away, y’all, the shipper comments are coming in strong

Also why is this the first real interaction with Peeta in this chapter yet? My baby needs more page-time 🤭🤭🤭

“Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.” Now why did Katniss just tear Delly to shreds for no reason at all 😭😭😭 this was a surprise assault on the poor girl 🙃🙃🙃🙃

“She may also be the friendliest person on the planet - she smiles constantly at everybody in school, even me.” Okay not to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... but to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... this description of poor, sweet Delly is actually indicative of Peeta’s character? Since Delly, we find out in Mockingjay, is Peeta’s childhood best friend, her personality being this sunny, kind, good-natured person tells us Peeta has always probably been somewhat like her and perhaps not as much like the other town kids Katniss implies to be stuck up or snooty. Maybe Katniss is just shady and deflects onto others 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.

Also the fact that she gives this like ... mean description of Delly but saw Peeta as popular, even though surely Delly and Peeta spent time at school together, implies further that Katniss did indeed harbor a secret crush on Peeta even before the reaping. A very mild comparison of his on her though, of course 😅😅😅

“It must be the hair” “something about the eyes too” their piggybacking on the other’s comments really is just chiefs kiss 😘🤗🥰🤧 FYI I know the saying is chefs kiss but I made the typo once a long time ago and decided to add it forever to my brand 🤗🙃🥳

Also though this Everlark interaction is reminiscent of when two kids get caught by their teacher goofing off in class and covering for each other 🥰 only it’s a lot more deadly stakes

“A few of the other couples make a nice impression, but none of them can hold a candle to us.” She’s so modest 🤧🤧🤧 her narration here and during the Tribute Parade just has the vibes of ... well .... sorry in advance

Haymitch’s comment “Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice” leads me to think he and Cinna and maybe Portia were always in cahoots about the rebellion even before Katniss and Peeta came along and well ... lit their match on fire 🥁🤗🤣🤭

Katniss is like “rebellion??? Rebellion where??? What’s that you old people speak of???” And yet, girlfriend goes out to the woods and hunts illegally every day of her life 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

“But when I remember the other couples, standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other, as if their fellow tribute did not exist” too lazy too look it up but there’s a quote from Ballad about Lucy Gray and Jessup being distinguished by their visible friendship too that set them apart from the other tributes.

Either Suzanne thought of drawing a nice parallel showing what a failed Everlark attempt looks like, because I firmly stand by the fact that without their real feelings behind their act, even Katniss’ unconscious ones, they wouldn’t have pulled it off, or Suzzie just reused her own content. I prefer the former but I think it’s probably the latter 🤭🤭🤭

“Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk." I know Haymitch is being facetious here but this quote reminded me of the fact that the movies would have hit differently if they’d cast actual sixteen year olds in the roles.

“When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.” This is such a flirty, high school boy pose, you cannot convince me otherwise 😭😭😭

Also I definitely feel like Peeta is getting more and more confident here because he’s oblivious to Katniss’ inner monologue as much as she is his actually we all are his sadly and he probably thinks she’s starting to like him 🤧🤧🤧

“So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." 🤣 He honestly cracks me up idk why this line isn’t even special or that great. He’s just so ... subtly nosy / funny. Which brings me to that quote from Mockingjay where Katniss talks about his sense of humor because it’s one of the things she loves most about him 😭😭😭

But he’s like, “I can keep a secret, Katniss, tell me who that tongueless chick is to you 😬”

Katniss stop talking about debts, friends cover for the other all the time 🙄🙄 I know it’s in her character stop yelling at a fish for swimming that’s not a real phrase I know that too

Okay first of all, they’re about to share a secret 🥰🥰🥰🥰. My shipper goggles are on tight and obstructing my vision. I know this and am proud 😬🥳🤗

And secondly, “Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.” Hey, butthead, you two are already friends. She doesn’t even recognize that the girl who constantly sits with her, talks to her, eats with her and trades with her is her friend either though, I’m shocked she calls Gale her friend

Does Peeta get to know Cinna too? I don’t think so but it’s mentioned now a couple times in this chapter alone that Peeta has interacted with Cinna. Katniss never interacts or has a conversation with Portia.... then again, is that even surprising? Katniss isn’t ... what you would call ... social. Hashtag relatable.

Awww, they’re communicating so effectively together 🥰😭🤧🥳

Also rooftops belong to Everlark only 😍😊😉 I mean, seriously, Katniss never goes up on a rooftop with anyone else. Besides Haymitch in the first movie but we ignore.

“Electricity in District 12 comes and goes, usually we only have it a few hours a day.” Earlier she said the Seam didn’t often have electricity, in particular, so either she’s not specifying her section of the district anymore or Suzanne is backtracking.

“But here there would be no shortage. Ever.” I’ve had two power outages recently so clearly the Capitol isn’t based on us currently today then 😐😐 I’m just joking ok

“I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?” .... boyfriend, where does your mind go sometimes? Peeta’s darker than we realize, y’all 🤭🤭🙃🙃

“He holds out his hand into seemingly empty space. There's a sharp zap and he jerks it back” between this and Catching Fire, Peeta is addicted to getting shocked by forcefields 🤧🤧🤧

“I wonder if we're supposed to be up here now, so late and alone.” If this was a romantic drama or comedy, that line would have meant something a lot more fun 😒😔😬😉😏

“On the other side of the dome, they've built a garden with flower beds and potted trees.” Is this meant to resemble Snow’s grandmother’s garden???? Like he had them put a garden there to like ... put a piece of his Grandma’am in the games? Idk this made zero sense it was a stupid thought

Two people in a garden at night, with wind chimes, sounds romantic in any other context. 🥺🥺

Ummm does everyone in the entire district know Katniss and her father used to hunt together?

Oh nevermind, Lavinia is not from District Twelve. My bad, guys. I should go up and edit my previous thoughts but that’s a lot of work. 😅😅😅

Katniss, stop being so hard on yourself. You and Gale were kids. 😣😣

Ummm, Katniss for a girl always complimenting Peeta’s storyteller, you’re pretty good at painting a picture yourself...

Peeta noticing she’s shivering 🥰🥺

He gives her ... his jacket 😭😭😭😭 such a romantic troupe Samantha, get over it there’s literally children dying

Oh wow, Lavinia was from the Capitol originally. Hmm, it is sus now that she got District Twelve this particular year.

But also 🤧🤧🤧 “he secures a button at my neck.”

His hands .... are .... often .... at her .... neck .... 😶😬 .... look away, y’all

Oh wow, Katniss is over here thinking, “who’d leave the Capitol if they were from here???” And Peeta’s like instantly, loudly, without hesitating, “well I would 🙋🏼‍♂️”

Hot take, y’all ready? Peeta was a bigger rebel than Katniss from the start. At least internally.

Awww, Peeta is so jealous 😭😭😭😭 and kind of nosy 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss : “me and Gale are not related” Peeta : “😬🙃😭😩😶”

“I'd set out to tell her I was sorry about dinner. [...] my apology runs much deeper. [...] I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger. Just like I was watching the Games.” I feel like this is actually a good comparison though, because of you grew up in a society where you have to watch kids die, your whole entire life you’ve watched it in a glorified television show, you would be really desensitized to it...

“You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Here she’s talking about Lavinia but it applies to Peeta too. Katniss was Lavinia’s last hope and she feels like she let her down but Peeta was her last hope once and he came through. And, as she said in chapter one, she’ll never forget him for it. And for other things too. Later on. 😏

Of course my last bullet point was focused on Everlark 🤣 is anyone surprised you shouldn’t be we all knew who this post was written by right? 😅

And once again, if too made through this marathon, congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳 maybe next chapter I’ll talk less not likely though so don’t count on it 😅

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Return to Hatchetfield-Town - TGWDLM Part 3

Have I been putting off this part because of sad Bill? Maybe.  Or is it because of all your amazing Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory submissions? Yeah, you were right the first time.  I just can’t deal with sad Bill.

We left part 2 of the TGWDLM rewatch where the Scooby Gang had turned up at the spooky mansion, which can only go well, and we come back in part 3 as they’ve left the tied up resident bad guy alone with the one person who has a weakness for said bad guy.

Links to previous parts

It’s Ted loving time and I make no apologies for it.

Am I the only one who saw the scene with Ted and Charlotte and immediately got sent back to MAMD’s Joey and Sally?  It’s so good seeing Joey and Jaime acting opposite each other like this again, they both bring the same amount of chaotic brilliance.  

I have no jokes to make for this, I just needed a gif of the “slap” here.  Beautiful.  Iconic.

Here we see a bit of the true Ted, the Ted we see in Time Bastard.  He’s an idiot sure, but its obvious he is actually a hopeless romantic who really cares for Charlotte, underneath an exterior of “sleazeball”. 

When I originally read what happens in Time Bastard I will admit it didn’t really fit with the image I had in my head of Ted.  Ted is first and foremost played for laughs.  He’s selfish and arrogant and funny.  But rewatching TGWDLM, especially with Time Bastard in mind, you do see where Joey let’s Ted’s façade drop.  You see it at a greater extent later when Charlotte dies and Ted goes off on one to Bill.  But you also see it here (I’m sorry Ted fans):

Serious gifs, who is she?

Now. What’s happening in this next little scene? Are we ready for some tin foil hatting?

What do you want Charlotte?

Continuing our theme of characters explaining what they want in clear and certain terms, Charlotte starts praying to God, then Sam wakes up.  Was Sam waiting for everyone else to leave before “waking up” in order to target Charlotte?  Or were Charlotte’s prayers answered by an Eldritch being with the capability to control the Creedy Chorus?  Later Sam says that he “saw god”.  

In Black Friday, Linda attempts to issue in the “birth of a god.”  God is certainly a word the Devil Dolls are happy to attribute to themselves.  Somehow I don’t think it would have mattered if they had gone to a Methodist or Presbyterian church.

Opinion time: Tied Up My Heart is a full on rock bop and deserves way more praise and acclaim. You could have told me this song was from Rock of Ages and I would believed you.

“Don’t you twust me” – serious Wiggly vibes there Sam.

This is kinda catchy Sam!

In part two we briefly discussed when Hidgens became infected, and there is some theories that believe he was infected from the moment he touched the blue brain goo, leading to Show Stopping Number happening.

Charlotte was infected the minute she touched Sam’s brains.  Like Hidgens, it happened slowly, but its very clear it had begun to take root in this song.  Tied Up My Heart is to Charlotte, what Let It Out is to Paul.  They both find themselves dancing without meaning to, they both begin to hear the music.  I’ve mentioned previously that Tied Up My Heart is the only song in which there is an offstage chorus, which would be strange unless for the first time we’re hearing the show as Charlotte is hearing it – she’s beginning to hear the rest of the Hive.

 The only difference between Charlotte and Paul is their wants during these pivotal numbers.  Paul is trying harder to fight the song because his want is to destroy the meteor.  Charlotte isn’t able to fight the song because her want is Sam… and the song is giving her that. 

I think this is the part of the musical where most people pause and proclaim… what the hell am I watching. Which, you know… valid.

Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

Ted just casually predicting the ending of the show.  Take out the head and the whole thing falls down – an historically inaccurate statement in the proceedings of Hatchetfield’s apocalypses.

Exhibit A – Taking out the meteor does not stop the hive.

Exhibit B – Sending a Nuke into the Black and White does not stop Wiggly.

I don’t know what Nerdy Prudes will be about but heads up to the characters – maybe don’t try and destroy the root of the issue as your solution.

Obviously there is a lot of story in Emma and Paul’s discussion here, a lot of which gets unpacked and revisited in Forever and Always, but I’m not really going to delve into the specifics of it here.  My biggest take away from this conversation is that Emma explains her past, and her intentions for the future, but at no point is it ever clear what her want is. 

In a musical where character’s are killed because they want something, is it any wonder Emma is the one who survives at the end?  She doesn’t have any big, ultimate want.  She’s jaded and tired, until the end… when what she wants is for Paul to have survived.

This shows a clear distinction between how Pokey and Wiggly operate (and the others, but we’ll discuss them when we get to Nightmare Time.)  Both of these Bothersome Brothers use wanting as their tool of chaos but in very different ways.

Pokey wants you to want something, in order to tempt you with that in order to destroy you.

Wiggly wants to find holes to fill with exaggerated, artificial echoes of a want.

The new game at Toy Zone – Bop Ted

Does anyone else forget for a bit how amazing Jaime’s voice is and then finds themselves entranced when Join Us and Die happens?  I’m sure there is some lore in this song but I’m far too distracted.

If we refer back to our Violence over Time chart from part two of the rewatch you will see we have now fully arrived at the point where the Hive has stopped trying to just entice everyone with fluffy feelings before murdering them, and are now just resorting to “we’re gonna kill you and it’ll hurt a lot.”

I know there is plenty of discussion regarding whether Hidgens is good or bad, infected or not infected etc – but none of that matters.  What matters is he makes the same crappy puns I make in inappropriate situations and I think that’s beautiful.

“The Charlotte you knew and loved was gone the minute a note came out her mouth.” – Snape’s back with the foreshadowing again.

Hidgens then proceeds to subject our heroes to a very intricate test to find out who is human, and who is the musical Doppleganger (one of the AJ Holmes fans there).  I’ve seen Moana once, and I became obsessed with the bioluminescent crab so I don’t remember any of the other songs apart from Shiny.  This is a problem because the only other song I know from Moana has now become Paul’s version of whatever it is he is singing. I refuse to believe there is any other version of that song.

“Their tactic is to hide amongst us, and as their numbers grow, they become more bold.” – yes Hidgens – we’ve all seen the chart.

Acting Masterclass with Corey Dorris

Bill gets a phone call from Alice, she’s stuck at Hatchetfield High and her girlfriend and the other kids have become singing and dancing zombies.  Is this a prequel to High School Musical?

Its worth noting that Alice has locked herself in the Choir room – Hatchetfield High’s number one place to hide when things are going badly - x

Look what happened Nightmare Time.  

Corey Dorris’ face pulls on every heart string I possess.  Not Your Seed is a fantastic song, with some superb singing by Mariah, but the heart of this song is Corey.  Bill is a broken man from the moment he echoes Alice’s words that Grace Chastity is a Nerdy Prude. And the voice crack!

Small warning here for a very brief discussion about suicide. If you want to skip past scroll to the next gif.

The song is an attempt to bring Bill to the Hive, but I think the plan from the start was to push him to shoot himself. Bill wants his daughter back, he wants her to be a part of his life, but unlike with Charlotte, where Hive!Sam attempts to convince her he’s not really dead and wants her, Hive!Alice uses Bill’s want to break him further and further, swinging between Alice’s love and disdain for her father.  This isn’t an attempt to lay a trap and kill him when he falls in it, it’s a blatant push towards him killing himself.  The Hive only picked up the gun because Paul was there to stop him.

I also find the mirror of this moment to later in Watcher World very fascinating.  We obviously know Pokey and Blinky are brothers, and I wonder if the set up leading Alice to point a gun at Bill in Watcher World is Blinky’s twisted humour, echoing what he knows happened in another timeline.  A horrible joke that would be lost on Bill and Alice in that timeline, but very recognisable to all of us Watchers.

Once again the Hive could have easily killed Paul, but they don’t.  They make a big song and dance (get it?) out of how the guns not good enough to kill him with and then they start singing at him just in time for the army to turn up.  The Hive had no intention of killing Paul yet, though obviously they can’t let him know that.  Paul has been chosen as their Hero.  He’s got work to do.

Hatchetfield High Homework

Just the one this week, I’m currently doing an Ask series where I attempt to make ridiculous sounding Hatchetfield Theories make sense.  You can find them by searching Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theories.  Go and have a look and follow the wonderful people sending them in.

When the rewatch returns, we get our first peep into the world of PEIP.

[atelier-dayz]

Wish you would write a fic where obi wan loses his memories after order66 and runs into vader (mustafar fight never happens)

Okay, when I first saw this, I had SO MANY QUESTION. But I figured something out. Not sure if this is even remotely what you expected but I had fun! :D

There’s something coming. 

‘Bi has no frame of reference for exactly what, but he has a bad feeling about it. The varactyls who have taken him into their lounge[1] are agitated, keeping closer to their nesting grounds than usual. Boga refuses to leave his side for even a moment, though she has stayed close ever since he’d washed ashore with her all those months ago, only a scant handful of memories to call his own.

They had been shot at, the blaster holes in his clothes and the burns scoring Boga’s side clear evidence of that -- and incentive enough for him to stay hidden away with the varactyls. He has avoided contact with anyone, but especially with the troopers in white armor milling around the closest city. Over the months, the troopers’ presence has diminished, though not disappearing entirely, and ‘Bi[2] still hides, something within him, the same something that allows him to connect with Boga and the others, telling him that something terrible has happened out in the galaxy, that he mustn't be found. Someone had wanted him, whomever he’d been, dead, and he must keep up that illusion. 

He has spent months living with the varactyls, living off the land with the knowledge left from his missing past. He tries to recall his memories, but is entirely unsuccessful. The feeling of being...hunted had faded as time had passed, but now that feeling is back.

Suddenly, a strange howl fills the air, and he and the varactyls look up as almost one as a small, black starfighter streaks across the sky, heading for the encampment of troopers just outside the city. Whoever is coming, they’re after him, he thinks. 

He’s morbidly curious about this newcomer, but an insistent and anxious Boga has him climbing onto her back. They flee, the lounge of varactyls swiftly climbing up and down the rough terrain, farther and farther away from the city. 

They are found anyways. 

A gunship descends onto the mesa where they’d chosen to rest for the night. They hold themselves silent and still, hidden behind the rocky outcrops in hopes of not being detected. ‘Bi spies through a slit between two slabs of rock as a man jumps out of the gunship before it even lands, his black cloak fluttering in his wake. One trooper jumps after him from a more reasonable height, a long blaster rifle in his hands.  

The man in black stalks forward, head turning left and right as he searches. His face is familiar. Somehow, ‘Bi knows him -- no, he had known him, but not this man before him now. This man feels like a jagged, festering wound, like fury and despair and pain all rolled into a miasma. His eyes are--wrong, glowing gold in the dimming light even at a distance. 

“I sense him. He’s here,” growls the man in black. 

“He’s not dead after all?” comes the distorted voice of the trooper through his visored helmet.

“If he was dead, I would have felt it,” the man says. “As it is--” 

‘Bi scrambles back as the man abruptly lunges forward and, a molten red-bladed sword in hand, cuts apart the rock formation he’d been hiding behind. A lightsaber, the word comes to him as he shields his face from the smoldering debris. 

“Obi-wan, you’re looking rough,” the man drawls, looming over him with his saber halfway extended towards ‘Bi.

“I--oh, that is my name, isn’t it?” 'Bi remarks as he gets to his feet. Obi-wan. Obi-wan Kenobi. 

“What do you mean--" the man falters. "Of course that's your name. What are you playing at?" He scowls, and Obi-wan stiffens as the man fully extends his saber at his throat. 

He remembers then holding a lightsaber once, remembers the live wire heft of holding one. A blue one, not screaming red like the one at his throat. His lightsaber. 

Now, he thinks, would certainly be a good time to have it, as the man glares down at him with those sickly yellow eyes.

"As I only have memories of the last few months, the Obi-wan you knew is...not present, so to speak," he says.

The man huffs. "That's the game you want to play? Surely the Negotiator can lie better than that--no, I know you can, with all the lies you've --"

He's interrupted by a screech as Boga leaps out from cover at him. 

"Boga, don't!" With alarm, Obi-wan raises an arm as if that would prevent her from lunging at the man. 

The man twists his face into a snarl and holds his free hand out towards her, fingers curling almost like claws. With a whine, Boga collapses onto the ground next to Obi-wan, head flailing and limbs scrambling against the dirt. 

"Boga." Obi-wan senses her pain sharply and strokes a hand over her feathered head as if that would soothe and shield her from what the man is doing to her. "Let her go, Anakin!" 

The name just slips out. 

Pain rips through his head as a smattering of memories return to him.

Anakin. Jedi Knight. The "Hero with No Fear." His former student. His friend. His brother.  

He recognizes nothing of the boy or man he'd once known in the man before him. 

"Anakin Skywalker was weak, and he is dead. I am Darth Vader," Anakin declares, and only after a few long moments, as if to prove a point, does he drop his hand. 

Boga slumps to the ground with a weak whine, and Obi-wan continues to stroke her head. 

"That was much too dangerous, my dear," he tells her. "Don't you worry about me, I'll be alright." 

"So sure of yourself, aren't you?" remarks Vader. "What was it you always lectured me about? 'Your lightsaber is your life?' Well, your lightsaber is gone, which means, so is your life.” 

Vader raises his saber, ready to strike Obi-wan down right there.

But Obi-wan is distracted. 

He should have realized. Varactyls are remarkably loyal creatures, and they had just spent months protecting him. They certainly aren’t going to stop now, as suddenly, trills fill the air. The entire lounge of varactyls charges out from all different directions, having taken the time to encircle them -- to encircle Vader.

Obi-wan knows though, that Vader would have no qualms cutting every single one of them down -- and looks ready to do so, pivoting to the nearest approaching varactyl and changing the grip on his saber as if he’s about to use it as a throwing spear. 

“No!” Obi-wan shouts, and through pure instinct, gathers up the something that’s been guiding him -- the Force -- and pushes with both hands. 

The invisible shove sends Vader flying into the air with a yelp, lightsaber slipping from his hand --  

Though this outcome does not surprise him nearly as much as seeing the trooper swing his rifle like a bat at just the right timing to send Vader off the edge of the mesa, Vader’s enraged roar trailing after him[3]. 

As the varactyls skid to a halt in a protective circle around him and Boga, Obi-wan gapes at the trooper, who takes a moment to look over the edge to follow Vader’s descent, before turning to Obi-wan. The trooper takes off his helmet, revealing a face identical to all the others save for a scar curving around his left eye and down the side of his face. 

“General, we should leave. I can’t say how long that will actually hold him,” the trooper says, gesturing to the gunship, where more helmetless troopers happen to peer out of the doors. 

Obi-wan squints at the trooper, taking in that distinctive scar, the left shoulder antenna, and the remnants of orange paint scratched off the armor. 

Crossing his arms, he remarks, “My memories might not be all here, but I’m fairly certain you shot at us.”

The trooper grimaces and brushes a hand over a surgical scar on the side of his head. Obi-wan hadn't noticed it before.

“I would never willingly shoot you, sir,” the trooper says. “...they put chips in our heads, turned us into drones the moment the...Emperor said the right words.” 

Obi-wan relaxes a bit, sensing the truth in those words, though that is a rather messy and likely painful subject to revisit at a more...appropriate time and setting.

“You...weren’t bluffing about the memories?” asks the trooper with a deep frown.

“Unfortunately not. They seem to be coming back though, in bits and pieces.”

“Oh, well then, Cody, at your service. I was your second before...well, before.”

More than that, he’d been a dear and trusted friend, Obi-wan senses, before the terrible things had happened. There are things, he suspects, that can never be fixed, but their friendship will not be one of them.

“We better get going, sir,” Cody says. 

Obi-wan makes to join him, but stops when the varactyls crowd around him. With a smile, he reaches out pat each of their heads. 

“Thank you for your help, all of you,” he tells them. “I wouldn’t have made it all this time without you.” 

They nip at his clothes and hair and bump his shoulders before edging away, and Boga bounds forward to his side, now recovered. He strokes her feathered head for a moment.

“I guess this is where we part ways then, Boga. You’ve been a wonderful friend. Do take care of yourself, all right?” 

But as he goes to join Cody then, Boga trills and follows him. He raises an eyebrow at her, but he can sense her devotion, her intent to continue following him wherever that may be.

“I...don’t think that’s the best idea, my dear,” he says, “Your home is here. Your friends and family are here.” But she trills again and even begins walking to the gunship without them.

“She’s welcome to come along, sir, there’s plenty of room where we’re going,” Cody says, failing utterly to not look like he’s smirking at Obi-wan. 

“And where exactly are we going?” Obi-wan asks.

“To the Rebellion, of course.”

Notes:

[1]A collective of lizards is apparently a “lounge of lizards” and since varactyls are lizard-like I went with that lol

[2] Obi-wan calls himself ‘Bi because that’s what it sounds like when the varactyls are specifically calling him.

[3] For visualization, please see Lumi’s gif at the end of this post with Cody using his rifle as a baseball bat.

Vader!Anakin’s speech patterns annoy me so much but they are what they are *sigh*. 

I kept accidentally referring to varactyls as vacteryls because there’s a medical syndrome called VACTERL alskdfjlkasj

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Katelynw93

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Katelyn, but most people call me Kate, Katie or sometimes even Kat.

Age: 27

Location: Originally from Kansas, but have been located in Upstate NY for the last six years.

URL: @katelynw93​

Why did you choose your URL: It’s usually the username that I use for everything and if I’m being honest, I’m not very creative when it comes to titles or names. Lol. I’ve been meaning to change it; I just need to decide on what.  

What inspired you to become a writer: Well, when I was in middle school (maybe seventh or eighth grade), my best friend and I decided to write a story together and post it on a fanfiction site (Can’t remember the site name, though.) And I just loved it. We never did finish that story. Lol. But eventually I started branching out and found some roleplay writing sites.  

How long have you been writing: Started writing in middle school (2006/2007), but really got into it in 2009 with RP. However, September of this year (2020) was the first year I started really writing fics by myself and opening posting them. 

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I work a lot, usually an average of 40+ hours a week; I am a manager at a popular food chain restaurant and on the weekends, a cashier at a gas station to provide a little extra cash for my family. When I’m not working, my time is spent with my two kids; Alekzander (Zander) who just turned five this past November and Lincoln (Link) who will be two in February. Outside of work and my family, I’m usually writing. Sometimes if I’m feeling extra creative or inspired, I’ll create a few crackships for couples I really enjoy. Lol. 

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I actually found Supernatural around the same time I started writing, so back in ninth grade, so 2008/2009. It was honestly an accident too, because I was searching for Smallville episodes (I have an unhealthy addiction to Superman and DC/Marvel.) and stumbled upon an ad for Supernatural. Was instantly intrigued and fell in love. Seasons 1 - 5 (the Kripke era) are my favorite. 

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Oh yea, I love TV shows and movies, and as I’ve already stated above, I love DC and Marvel. I’ve also written for Grey’s Anatomy and am willing to write for more, but SPN, DC and Grey’s are currently the only ones I’ve written for. I love The Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill, Private Practice, Station 19, 9-1-1, Game of Thrones, The Witcher, Merlin, Dexter, Psych, and so, so many more. There are too many to list. Lol.  

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Other than RPing, not really. I mean, I did try to do an original story with my friend when I was younger, but it never went anywhere. But I am willing to try someday. 

Favorite published author: Other than the really big authors like; J.K. Rowling, George R.R. Martin, Jim Butcher, Nicholas Sparks, Suszanne Collins, I really like (and maybe it’s cliche) Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight Saga made me fall in love with reading and eventually, that love led me to writing. Those books hold a special place in my heart.  

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Well, I guess I sort of answered that one already. But there truly are so many amazing books out there and still so many more to discover. 

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): Oh man, I’m not gonna lie, a majority of what I read is probably smut. But I am particularly fond of angst. I want you to make me cry. Really dig and stab into my emotions. Lol. And then come back in with some fluff. Haha. 

Favorite piece of your own writing: Well, that would have to be Sweet Cherry Pie because it was really the first piece I’ve ever finished and published online. It was inspired by an RP that I am currently involved in and they are my favorite couple in said RP. It got so much positive feedback after I shared it that it inspired me to keep writing. I was so nervous about posting it, but I am glad I did. 

Most underrated fic you have written: Oh I’m not sure. Maybe Love Bites. I am a sucker for Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries crossovers. I really loved writing this fic and am eager to write more. 

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Oh damn, um, it’d be cool to see any of them like that. But maybe Sweet Cherry Pie or Out of the Fire (my firefighter!Dean series).  

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): There are so many, but I usually find myself reading work from; @impala-dreamer​, @katehuntington​  @deanwanddamons​, @muchamusedaboutnothing​.  

Favorite Fic from another writer: This one is tough because there are so many amazing fics out there, especially ones that I adddddore; but if forced to choose, one story that will always stick with me would have to be Treacherous by @idkhaylijah​ OR The Sullivan Series by Kate Huntington 

Favorite character to write: Dean Winchester. I adore Dean and he’s probably the easiest for me to write. I have written the most fics with him and I portray him often in the RPs that I do. 

Favorite Pairing to write: Dean with anyone, but my favorite would be Dean x Caroline. 

Least favorite character to write (and why): That’s a tough one, cause there’s not really any that I’m uncomfortable with or dislike writing. Maybe characters with accents, because I don’t really know how to capture that in writing yet? I’m pretty open with my writing and am willing to try mostly anything. 

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Oh definitely. When I first started RPing, there was another girl (Jocelyn) that I used to write with and she influenced a lot of my writing. She was older than me and had more experience and gave me a lot of tips on how to get better. She is an amazing writer and had the potential of going far with it, but life happens and unfortunately, she doesn’t write anymore. But she is booming on Youtube, so that’s pretty impressive. It’s pretty cool to see how far she’s come. 

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I used to want to be a journalist when I was younger, but other than that, not really. I just want to have fun with it and write something meaningful for someone, and always improve and get better.  

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: I have a few ideas jotted down, maybe ten, but I haven’t actually started any of them. I have so many bingo cards I need to finish, but with my work schedule, it’s been pretty crazy. 

What are you currently working on? My main project is Out of the Fire.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Definitely the RPing that I’ve done and am currently doing. My friend Alesha has been the longest RP partner that I’ve had and her writing is phenomenal - and it helps a lot too when your mind's work in similar ways; her and I always seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to writing. I love it. But like me, she has a very busy schedule and writing is limited. 

Best writing advice you've been given: Have fun with it, write what you want to write and always be open to helpful criticism. And don’t stress about it, either. Write in your own time. It’s meant to be fun, not stressful. 

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Just finding the time to write and getting over being so self conscious about my writing. I don’t let anyone in my real life read what I write.  

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? Just capturing the personalities of the canon characters sometimes; if it’s a character I’m not used to writing, I worry about portraying them the right way. And I have trouble individualizing the characters (separating them from myself/my own personality), like when I create an OC for an RP, sometimes when I have too many, their personalities all become the same in ways (if that makes sense?). And accents. I have trouble with accents. Oh, and fight/action scenes. They take me a bit.  

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I am always going to be afraid, no matter what it is that I’m writing, because I worry about it succeeding. I want to write for other fandoms though, I guess, but like I said, I worry about capturing the characters right and having a decent storyline that is unique. 

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, positive feedback. I love hearing what people think about my writing and it motivates me to continue. 

How do you deal with self-doubt: That’s a tough one. I guess I just look towards my writing friends or beta’s for reassurance or I go back and read the positive comments and likes on the fics I’ve already shared. It encourages me to continue. 

How do you deal with writer's block: I usually listen to music and I’ll look up gifs of my favorite characters, create stories in my head with those gifs or I’ll create gif sets of specific scenes. If that doesn’t work, I’ll take a break and watch one of my favorite TV shows for inspiration. 

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: For my RPs, I have a group chat with those I’m writing with and we usually shoot ideas back and forth, but mostly we wing it. For my fics, I normally just wing it, but with Out of the Fire, I have a rough idea of what I want from each part. With that said, my ideas or plans often change as I’m writing. These characters have a mind of their own sometimes. Lol.  

Do you have any weird writing habits: I don’t know about any weird habits, but I always have music on and I guess I have to do it in spurts. I’ll write a few paragraphs or sentences, pause and scroll tumblr or facebook or gifs, and then go back, reread what I wrote and then write a few more. Rise and repeat. 

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? So far, no I haven’t, and I hope I don’t ever have to deal with that. But I know it’s bound to happen. I guess if I were to ever encounter that, I’d like to say that I’ll take it as a learning experience but I honestly don’t know I’d feel about that.  

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? Oh man, I guess my favorite would have to be ellewritesfix05 reaction to the secret santa fic I wrote for her; Dean Fucking Winchester. And all the positive feedback I’ve gotten for Out of the Fire.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Have fun with it. Write what you want and what you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism and most importantly, don’t stress. Writing is fun.

[mayraki]

The Trained Assassin.

Spencer Reid series. Part 4.

Not my gif! Credits to the owner.

Summary: Life’s not easy when you found out that instead of being trained to be a spy for the CIA, you are being trained to be an assassin, a killer. The people you wanted to stop, they were making you one. That’s when you joined the BAU to become someone new, you didn’t want to be someone’s toy. You wanted your past to be arrased, that’s all. But it’s not easy to hide a past like that.

Sorry if this is kind of short, the next part is very long so I wanted to focus on that. Thank you for reading!

Warning: graphic descriptions!

PART 3

“Comfort”

On the way back to the office you decided to go in Emily’s car. You didn’t want to continue the conversation you had with Spencer... and admit that he was right. You needed to talk about this... your past with someone. But that was not the only thing that was on your mind, you felt something before. Something you haven’t felt in a long time with a guy.

You felt safe. You didn’t feel that gut feeling that something was wrong, that trust wasn’t there. And it wasn’t that suddenly everything changed on the team, only with Spencer on that specific moment, we weren’t Dr. Reid and Agent y/ln, you two were just... Spencer and Y/n.

“The Alvarez family. Murdered at their home last night.” JJ said when the pictures of three people on their living room and blood all over the scene appeared on the screen. “Camila Alvarez, 29. Lorenzo Alvarez, 31. And Juana Alvarez, 6 years old.” You covered your face in frustration when you heard the little girl’s age.

How could anyone do this to a kid? You thought.

“The mother had marks on her wrists, and the daughter on her mouth.”

“They took the father first” you said.

“Yeah, there local detectives said that there’s no sign of forced entry. But is better if we see the crime scene ourselves. The plane leaves in 20 minutes.”

***

It only had past one day since the first kill, and there was another one.

“There’s a possibility that the kills are random, there’s no way he’s stalking them. They wouldnt be that fast” Morgan said when all the team was walking towards the new crime scene.

You walked into the living room and saw the parents sitting in the sofa, and their little kid in the middle. You looked at the kid and felt your heart stopped for a second. You never had a case like this before, not with kids. You’ve seen worst, but the fact that that kid looked like your little brother made your heart stop.

You went outside and took a deep breath. You let the fresh air go into your body and closed your eyes.

“You ok?” Emily said next to you.

You nodded. “Yeah, sorry, first time seeing...”

She cut you off by grabbing your shoulder and giving you a half smile.

“It’s ok, you can take a second if you want.”

But you didn’t want to, you wanted to catch this son of bitch now, and fast.

“JJ, is it done?” Hotch asked once the team was back in the police station.

“Yes, the press conference just finished.”

The idea of Hotch about JJ saying in tv that the unsub was a failer, someone who problaby made a lot a mistakes on a daily basis was a huge shot. You never did something like that, but you trusted Hotch and you knew that he was good at what he did.

“It’s possible we are looking for someone in their earliest twenties. He’s young and good looking...” Hotch started to say the profile “He probably blends in, meaning that he has a normal car, someone that doesn’t make a big first impression.”

“Hotch, sorry to interrupt” JJ said entering the room “But you gotta see this, it’s urgent”

The team went flying towards the outside door and your eyes immediately caught that across the street was a guy with a girl on his arms, pointing a gun on her head and everyone pulled out their guns.

“The thing that you said, It was really stupid” the guy said covering his face behind the little girl so anyone could take the shot.

“Tell the best sniper we have to go on the roof. Now!” the local detective said.

You could see the fear on the little girl’s face and your heart started to beat faster. You noticed that she had her backpack on, he took her while she was leaving school.

“You don’t have to do this!” Hotch said.

“Yes I do! I have to! I can’t stand it!”

“Let the girl go and we can talk in private! We can help you” Gideon said trying to get closer to the girl but he got the safety off the gun.

“Don’t!” He screamed.

“Hotch” you said getting next to him “I think I can get him to let go of the girl so we can approach him”

He looked at me with hesitation but he nodded seconds later “I trust you, be careful.”

You nodded and caught the unsub’s attention “hey, I don’t want to hurt you” I put my hands up and let him see that I was going to put my gun down on the floor.

“Stay right there! Or I’ll shoot the girl!” You heard the little girl’s cry but you wanted to put all of you focus on him.

“I know what it’s like, to feel jealous of other families happiness.” You said and you noticed that something in his face changed.

“No! No! You don’t know what it’s like!” He said trying to stay serious and not show emotions.

“Yes, I do. I grew up in a adoption center until I was 12. I know. Watching all of the other kids get chosen and not me”

“You did?” He lowered his gun by some centimetres and his eyes started to water.

“Yeah, I couldn’t bare it.” You took a step slowly and noticed that he wasn’t paying attention to your moves “I was so sad, I couldn’t make any friends. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I felt alone in the world, like nobody wanted me. Like no one even liked me. I can relate to you, kid”

“Yeah, Yeah, that’s how I felt too.” He let a tear go down his cheek.

“Yeah, you want to know how I got better?” He nodded “I talked about it. It made me feel so much better.” You were close to him and could feel the tension in him drop down. “You want to talk about it? You and me, no one else.”

He looked at you in the eyes and after a couple of seconds, he lowered his gun and with quick moves you grabbed the gun and put it in your pants. Sencods later, Morgan was putting him on handcuffs.

“I’m sorry...” he said. “I didn’t want to...”

“It’s a little bit late for that, kid” Morgan said and took him inside the police station.

You didn’t move from your position and felt your heart go back to his normal beat.

“You did good” Hotch said and you nodded back at him.

You turned to the police station and locked eyes with Spencer who seemed like he was trying to understand something. And he was. He was trying to understand you.

He couldn’t see if the things that you said were real, sure, sometimes when the times are desperate you invent things to get to empathise with the unsub, but he felt your words differently. He knew that you were good in interrogations, to work with words, he was able to watch you a couple of times. But this time was different, and he wanted to know why.

***

You were at your apartment and the noise of your punching bag was all you could hear. Your knuckles hurt a little bit from all the punching, but you didn’t want to stop. The image of the kid lying there next to his parents was on you mind like a painting.

The punching got faster and you stopped because the pain in your arms were asking for it. Your breathing was heavy and faster than normal.

When silence took over your apartment, you hear knocking on your door. You went to your door with silent steps, you never were expecting guests. So the fact that there was knocking on your door at ten pm was concerning.

“Who is it?” You asked.

“Y/n, it’s Spencer” Spencer’s voice came on the other side and you got confused.

What is he doing here?

You opened your door and he was there holding a bag of Doritos.

“I noticed you liked them, so i brought you some” he gave you an awkward and adorable smile. But that didn’t lowered your confusion. He noticed and added “you seemed disturbed from the last case, and I wanted... to check on you. See if you were alright.”

And as he finished his sentence your heart went down to the floor. You wanted to hug him so bad but your stayed put.

“Oh, thank you Spencer” no one did something like that for you and you didn’t know how to react. “You want to... come in?” You asked and deep down you wanted him to say yes.

“Sure” He said and you let him in by stepping to your side.

You noticed the clothes you were wearing. You had a sport bra that was very tight on your chest. You felt a little bit exposed so you went to your couch and covered yourself with a jacket that was laying there.

Spencer looked around at your apartment and noticed that you were very clean. Or that you didn’t spend much time on there, so there was not much to clean and not a lot of things were moved.

“Thank you, really. How did you know they are my favorites?” You said putting the Doritos on a bowl.

“Well, I didn’t know they were your favorites, I just knew that you liked them. You have them a lot in the office”

“Oh, sometimes I can’t control myself over Doritos” you let a little smile and Spencer laughed.

“Who can?” He joked and you offered him some. “Look, if you ever... want to talk about it... the cases, I’m here” he said with a half smile on his face.

“Thank you. It’s ok, this one just... hit different. I’ve never worked on a case with kids before”

“Yeah, it’s hard. And I don’t know if this is going to make you feel better or worst, but you will eventually get used to it. That feeling, afterwards. And it’s going to get easier” He bit his lower lip trying to come up with better words and you let out a little laugh, because of his face and the fact that if he only knew the things you’ve seen before, he wouldn’t be saying this.

“Thank you Spencer, and it made me feel... both” you joked and he let out a little laugh.

“Hey... can I ask you something?” He asked trying to sound as relaxed as ever, but you noticed that he was nervous.

“Yeah” you said trying to sound not afraid of his question, but failed enormously.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But I just wanted to know, is it true? Did you grew up in a adoption center?”

That wasn’t that bad.

“Yeah, it’s true” you said putting a Dorito on you mouth to avoid feeling uncomfortable talking about your past.

“Oh, ok” he said and you felt like he went into his own world in his mind.

“Now I have to know something about you” you said to change the subject and turning it into him.

“What?” He said coming back to reality a little bit confused.

“You know something about my past, I want to know something about yours”

“Ok, I... finished high school when I was twelve”

That caught you off guard, but it didn’t surprised you.

“You little genius” he let out a little laugh and you felt your heart skipped a beat.

Uh?

“Ok, we can talk about our past all night, wich sounds horrifying...” he said.

“True”

“Or, we can watch a movie? Some fiction so we can forget about this awful world?”

“That sounds... amazing.”

“Lead the way” he smiled and you felt your heart skipped a beat again.

Stop it!

*****

PART 5 (1/2)

taglist;

@itsarayofsunshine @whothefuckstolemykeds @haykayhesson @enigma-xlii @introvertedsin @mylovehes @infires42 @uwu-sebastianstan

@ @thelegendarypaperbouquertblr @doobdabdib @decaffeinated—fangirl Sorry I couldn’t tag you! For some reason I can’t find you when I type your user name, but I added you guys anyway to let you know that I saw your comment! I’m sorry 🥺

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 37)

*Not my Gif*

~Banished Master~

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 3-4-20

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 4.8K

~Master~

~The 100 Master~

*Based off episode 3x08 of the 100, Terms and Conditions*

Bellamy and Pike made their way up the lookout tower to where Hannah was stationed, looking out over the wall. “Sir, we lost contact with one of the recon teams.” She told them when they were up. Bellamy shook his head, sighing deeply.

“There were four men.” He reminded Pike who spared him a glance before Hannah continued talking. She explained what she believed was happening, the blockage being established as well as the missing recon team engaging in the grounders, they found less than a mile outside the camp.

Another man on lookout interrupted their conversation, getting the three to look out at 2 grounders approaching in the distance. “They have a message; I’ve seen this before.” Bellamy told Pike who stood confused before shouting to the men below him to open the gate.

The grounders arrived at the gate, Bellamy on the ground to greet them. Their masks sat heavy on their faces, covering their mouths as they directed their horses into place. “We seek the one you call Pike.” One of them said as Bellamy stared them down. “An army has fallen, blood soaking the earth where he took their lives.”

“Welcome to the war against Skaikru.” Bellamy told them bitterly. The grounders demanded justice, telling them their justice came in the form of Pike’s death. But Pike wasn’t going to give his life up to some grounders.

“By order of the Commander, you have been surrounded by an army of the 12 clans. If anyone attempts to cross the blockade, warriors wait to kill.” As if to prove their point, they dropped a sack, inside the heads of the missing recon team following out. “We’ll greet them as we did those we caught today.”

Bellamy’s eyes were somewhat wide as he looked between the grounders and the heads by their feet. Pike tried to get Bellamy to fall back inside the walls, weary of the fate that currently affected the two of them speaking to the grounders, but Bellamy just shook his head. “They won’t leave.”

“Choose the side that’s best for your people!” One of the grounders spoke solidly as Bellamy took a second, his hand resting on top his gun.

“I do that everyday.” He mumbled seconds before shooting two bullets, each one going in a grounders head. They fell against the back of their horses with a thud as the animals took off, the recently deceased bodies laying on top of them. “Close the gate!” Bellamy yelled to the men operating the door when he turned around, heading back inside.

The mess hall was fairly empty as you sat there, running your finger over the rim of a glass when Raven took the seat across from you. She didn’t say anything, just sitting there with a content smile, making you uncomfortable. “What can I do for you Raven?”

“More like what can I do for you.” She replied as you raised a brow, taking another swig of the drink in front of you. She just sat there, that same look on her face despite your apparent discomfort. “Do you still have that chip Jaha gave you?”

Your eyes widened before you narrowed them, leaning onto the table to get closer to her. “How did you know about that?” She just shrugged, scooting forward in her seat.

“Have you thought about taking it?” She asked rather innocently, trying to move past your question.

“I haven’t.” You told her, stretching out the words with curiosity before the smile on her face finally made sense. “Raven, for the love of god please tell me you didn’t take it.”

Her grin only widened as she nodded. “I did.” You fell silent, not sure what to do before clearing your throat. You asked her, making sure no one could hear, how she felt. “Amazing. The pain in my leg is gone, Y/N. I feel unstoppable.”

In all honesty, she made it sound comforting. Jaha said it would erase your pain, and now if she truly took the chip you could ask her. Maybe you erase the recent pain of knowing Lexa was gone. You opened your mouth to speak, but instead of words coming out, you heard two gunshots coming from the front gate. “What the hell?” you asked, glancing to where a few people were leaving as you stood up. Raven just stayed put when you turned back to her. “Are you coming?” you asked as she shook her head. You shuddered before leaving her at the metal table alone and heading out of the mess hall.

Raven watched you race out as she tapped her fingers against the surface. A presence, unseen to the rest, hovered over her, watching you as well. “Keep trying.” A.L.I.E. said. “She’ll join eventually.” Raven nodded, getting up and heading out of the mess hall using the other door.

The sun hit your eyes as you blocked it, finding a crowd of people talking frantically. You only heard bits and piece of their conversation, but from the sound of it, a blockade was put around the camp and Bellamy shot two grounders.

“Y/N!” You heard shouted behind you as you spun around seeing Kane motioning for you from the Ark ship. You took one last listen to the group before jogging to catch up to Kane. “Do you know what happened?” you told him what you knew as he chewed on his nail, his pace increasing momentarily before realizing he was gaining unwanted attention.

You entered Kane’s room, taking a seat on his bed as if it was normal. Kane sat at the table, his leg bouncing. In the silence, you couldn’t help as your thoughts wondered, and of course the first place they went was to Bellamy. You didn’t know if you regretted sleeping with him. It all happened so fast and you weren’t at all expecting it. Kane glanced up at you, seeing you taut brows.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, rubbing his beard with his hand. You groaned lightly, the crease in your forehead never leaving.

“Nothing… Everything?” you admitted.

Kane took a shot in the dark. “Bellamy?”

You groaned louder, pressing the palm of your hands against your eyes. “I’m not having this talk right now.” You told him as you sat up onto your elbows, glaring at him playfully. Kane just chuckled at you, raising his hands in the air. “It doesn’t matter, there are more important things to worry about.” You believed your words truly. Bellamy just signed the blockade death order and here you were worried about sleeping with him.

“That’s not true. Come on, tell me what’s on your mind.” He seemed genuine as you hesitated, moving to sit up.

“I don’t want to have the dad talk, okay? But I will tell you.” He felt a weight in his stomach at your words, seeing the way this was affecting you. He nodded, letting you take the floor. “I slept with Bellamy.”

“Oh.” He went into shock. He didn’t know how to reply to that at all.

You rubbed your arm gingerly, already ready for a change in conversation as the door swung open, Miller and Harper rushing in. Harper looked between the two of you, seeing the look on your faces. “Did we interrupt something?” she asked kindly.

Kane wanted to say yes, he felt protective of you when he heard of you and Bellamy, despite the knowledge you wouldn’t want him to feel like this.

“No, you didn’t.” you almost shouted as you scurried off the bed, happy the two came in at that moment. Miller didn’t see anything wrong as he sat next to Kane, pulling out the radio.

“Pike’s in another meeting.” You and Harper exchanged glances, moving to sit on the bed together. Miller turned the radio on and right away you could hear Pike’s voice, making you roll your eyes. They were talking about trust, not being able to trust anyone outside of the room they’re in. You listened as Pike put Monroe and Lacroix’s deaths on you all, unknowingly of course. He wanted you all pay, no matter how.

The meeting ended as the listening device was turned off. “If they’re gonna play that game, we’ll play too.” Kane said as you bit your lip, your brows taking permanent residence in a furrowed position.

“What do you mean?”

Kane turned to look at you. “We don’t meet here anymore. We change patterns, forget habits. Assume there are eyes on us at all times.”

Harper scoffed. “Why don’t we just shock-lash Pike’s fascist ass then give him to the grounders?” Harper suggested. You found yourself chuckling and nudged Harper, getting her to grin slightly.

Kane glared at you as your smile fade like a kid being chastised. “Because that would be murder, not to mention treason. That’s not who we are.” Your eyes slowly pulled up, feeling that last sentence was meant specifically for you, and by the way Kane was looking at you, it was.

“Maybe it’s who we need to be.” You whispered sharply, Harper and Miller looking between the two of you as Kane said not yet. “Fine. Then I assume you have a plan?”

You spent the rest of the afternoon in a different room waiting for Octavia to radio in, switching channels every so often in case she was on those. Kane came in after a while of you being alone, seeing you seated crisscross on a table. Your eyes were somewhat closed as you absentmindedly scanned through the channels, just waiting for some sign Octavia was out there. Kane pulled a blanket around your shoulders, and you gave him a lazy smile, leaning your elbow onto your knee and pressing your chin in your palm.

“Any luck?” he asked as you shook your head, pushing the radio away.

“If she’s out there, she’s not on.” He nodded as you curled into the blanket.

“So, do you want to talk about earlier?” he seemed uncomfortable as you tilted your head, unsure of what he was talking about. “Bellamy?” You made an ‘o’ shape with your mouth as you realized what he was getting at. He didn’t know how to begin this conversation and by the awkward look on your face, neither did you. But he needed to know how to protect you. “So, you slept with him.”

“Yeah?” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but that didn’t change the fac it did.

“… Do you have feelings for him?” This was as awkward for you as it was for Kane and you knew it.

“I said I didn’t want to have the dad talk.” You reminded him as he nodded.

“I know, but for me?” He almost pouted his lip as you groaned.

“I don’t know Kane. Right now, it’s complicated. I just want to get past this whole thing with Pike. Then I’ll discuss the fact I’m in love with him.”

Well shit. You’re in love with him.

You hoped Kane didn’t catch your words but by the way the color drained from his face, he heard you. There was a knock on the door before it swung open, Harper and Miller entering to yet another awkward conversation.

“Anyone followed?” Kane asked, seeing the gears in your mind turning and the crisis in your eyes. Miller said he was fine before everyone took a seat, hearing Pike in another meeting.

They were planning a plan B, the ammo they have not being enough for many fights. Their new plan consisted of an assault team doing damage to a grounder encampment not far away from you all. Your heart sped up in fear as you listened, knowing that the retaliation of this attack would be stronger than you’ve ever experienced.

“We need to disable that rover. It doesn’t matter how many Grounders they kill, 10 times that will attack on Arkadia. No one will survive.” Kane told you all as the radio cut out. Harper spoke up, asking him if he had any idea what to do. Kane paused, thinking for a second before an idea came to mind.

Little did you know, Pike found your bug.

You took a walk through the hangar, coming to a stop and leaning against the wall. From across the room you saw Kane sitting in a chair, thumbing through a book as he glanced up at you. You pressed the com in your ear, turning it on and sending a soft nod towards Kane before focusing on Sinclair. He had just slid under a car, beginning his fake job when you saw Bellamy walk into the room. He started towards Sinclair as you spoke into the com.

“Sinclair, Bellamy’s coming your way.” Sinclair quickly pulled the com out of his ear, shoving it into his pocket. Bellamy caught your eyes from across the room as you ducked away, making him pause when he realized you where in on whatever was happening. He took a look around the room, seeing Kane reading his book before stopping at Sinclair.

“Sinclair, what are you up to?” He asked as Sinclair slid out from the rover and came to stand on his feet. Sinclair lied to him, telling Bellamy Raven told him the solenoid was acting up. Bellamy nodded, pretending to listen. “You got a work order for that?”

You watched from behind a stack of shelves, on alert as Bellamy glanced over Sinclair’s shoulders, seeing you worried. “Sure I think it’s on my desk.” Not a moment later, Sinclair took off running. In your head, you told yourself it was all part of the plan, but deep down something felt off. Almost like something was going to go wrong.

As you watched Sinclair run off, you tried to get a guess on the amount of people Pike had working for him before you realized you lost track of Bellamy. You were about to make a move to find him before you heard Kane’s shouts coming from his side of the room. You eyes shot to the predicament, seeing Kane holding back some new guard who tried to stop Sinclair with his shock baton.

No one expected that to happen for the moment his arms was in the arm to strike Sinclair, Kane was on him, holding him back. But unfortunately for Kane, that put him in the crossfire. He was going to get arrested.

Now that was not part of the plan.

You watched the men grab Kane and Sinclair’s hands, pulling them behind their backs as Hannah conducted the arrest. You needed to help him. You didn’t know how or what you were going to do but you needed to help him. The plan relied on him not being incarcerated.

You barely got your first step in before a hand grabbed your upper arm, pulling you back. Worried it was someone meant to arrest you, you spun around with your fist in the air to punch them. Yet when you turned around it was just Bellamy and he caught your fist.

“Don’t.” He told you, glaring into your eyes. You didn’t know what he was talking about until his eyes flickered. You followed them, seeing Kane glance back at you briefly as he was being led away.

That’s when realization dawned on you. “You know.” You whispered barely loud enough for it to be coherent. Bellamy was unfazed, his grip on you not faltering in the utmost. You turned slowly, making Bellamy slightly uneasy by the way you looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You know.” You repeated.

He swallowed back his nerves, pulling you to the side and out of anyone’s line of sight. “Y/N, just listen.”

You tried to pull your arm from him, ripping his fingers away from your skin. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you fucking touch me!” You didn’t care if Bellamy was trying to help you, you wanted to help Kane and Bellamy was making that hard.

“Y/N, I couldn’t-“

“You know what happens when they arrest Kane!” You interrupted him, pushing against his chest to separate yourself from him. “You know what’s going to happen to Sinclair! You know Lincoln is gonna be killed!” Bellamy didn’t fight back your pushes, but he didn’t let you go so easily, making you look into his eyes. Bellamy couldn’t tell if you were crying or just shouting at him, but either way it hurt him. Your pushes slowed to a stop, and Bellamy loosened his grip, see your E/C eyes moving up to look at him. “You knew I would be…”

Arrested? Sentenced to death for treason? Why not, it’s what they did on the Ark.

Bellamy nodded. “I wasn’t going to let you get arrested again.” His hands moved down your arms until he could hold your hands, your fingers lazily entangling his.

You took a deep breath, looking at your hands. The sight put you into a trance before reality snapped you back and you tore your hands away, taking a few steps back with a shake of your head. “Well hooray for you Bellamy, saving the damsel. There’s just one problem. I don’t need you to save me.”

Bellamy watched you stormed off; your eyes locked on the ground with the extra pound in your step. Bellamy didn’t know how to handle this. He knew there were no winners here. And he knew you weren’t going to give up that easily. Without a second thought, he slammed his hand against the wall, the noise attracted some people’s stares, but he paid them no mind, walking straight past them.

Miller and Harper met back in the room. Harper was pacing around the room as Miller sat on the couch, leaning forward onto his knees. “Did you see Y/N?” Harper asked, looking to the door every few seconds in hopes you’d walk in.

“After everything, I didn’t. She get arrested?” Miller asked after the 10th minute of you not showing up.

“Oh god!” Harper’s eyes went wide as she stopped pacing, falling into a chair. You finally reached the door, knocking once before throwing the door open. Both teens were on their feet as you busted inside, out of breath and leaning against the door.

“It’s just me!” You told them, putting your hands out. Harper pulled you in for a hug, a surprise for you as you hugged back. Miller gave you one as well, a even more shock as you regained your breath. “I kept feeling like someone was following me.” You told them, running your hand through your hair.

“What happened?” Harper asked.

“They got Kane too.” They both stood silent, contemplating what to do before Miller looked to you.

“So, what now?” They both looked towards you, it was as if they expected you to just hop into Kane’s position. But you weren’t Kane.

You had no idea what to do.

You took a second and a breath. “We keep going. Do the plan. It’s on us now.”

Meanwhile, Bellamy took to questioning Kane, but he wasn’t getting very far. “Come on Kane. Talk.” Kane stayed silent, cocking his brow at Bellamy who sighed, falling into a chair. “Then do it for Y/N. Think of Y/N.” It seemed to catch Kane’s attention as he shifted in his seat, his arms crossing in front of him and his jaw setting. After Kane’s silence stretched, Bellamy slammed his hand down on the table, standing up and leaving the room. Kane waited for the door to slam behind him before he took a deep breath.

Think of Y/N? That’s all ever does nowadays.

Bellamy stormed out of the room, Pike and Hannah talking as he approached them. “Any luck?” Pike asked but Bellamy denied such luck, saying that both Sinclair, who similar to Kane wouldn’t say a word, and Kane would speak soon and to put them both in lock up.

“On the ark, we would’ve floated traitors.” Hannah spoke up, gaining both men’s attentions. Bellamy gulped was Pike cut her off.

“We’re not on the ark.” He said before demanding the men be locked up.

Monty took it upon himself to check over the river, noting that there wasn’t a thing wrong with it. His mom watched him, listening to his grief about everything before telling him the only right choice is the one that helps you survive.

Bryan was used as a spy in his own room as he opened the door, seeing Miller staying there. They talked, shared a lot of kisses, but Bryan’s mind was elsewhere. Instead of being focused on his boyfriend, all he could think about was how he was going to be betraying him. They fought about Pike, as usual before Bryan set off, tossing Miller his coat with the planted bug before leaving.

“The bug’s in place?” Bellamy asked Bryan as he walked into the room him and Monty were sat in. Bryan averted his eyes, nodding solemnly as he thought of his boyfriend.

“It’s in his jacket. I don’t think he knows.” Bellamy pulled his lips into a thin line of a smile, sending it towards Bryan when he called him a good man. Bryan just furrowed his brows. “Am I? Is this worth lying to someone I love?”

“It is if you’re protecting him.” Bellamy countered but Bryan just shook his head, meeting his harsh gaze.

“Unless I’m the one he needs protection from.” Bryan mumbled he tugged on the sleeve of his jacket. “I assume you put a bug on your girlfriend then?” Monty who stood by silently through the whole ordeal saw Bellamy clench his jaw at the mention of you in such tone.

“Let’s go tell Pike.” Monty suggested, pulling the two men out of their staring contest and Bryan and Monty turned to leave. Bellamy though, took a second, beginning to reconsider his side momentarily. He could never put a bug on you, no matter who’s side he’s on. So maybe he knew he was on the wrong side.

Tensions in lock up were high with Sinclair, Kane and Lincoln as well many grounders. Sinclair walked along the wall to where Kane was before settling onto the ground next to him. “You weren’t supposed to be in here.” He mumbled quietly.

“No, my good friend, I was not.” Kane eyed the guards, seeing them switch their shifts as he rested his head back against the cold wall behind him.

“So, what now?” Sinclair asked him. Kane thought about it, seeing Bellamy leave the room and sighing.

“We keep going.”

When time came, the one you decided earlier, Sinclair called Bellamy back into the cell telling him Sinclair was ready to talk. As for you, you went searching for Pike, finding him in the Hangar bay.

“Thanks for meeting me.” You told him, standing in front of him. Pike nodded, a small surprised look on his face.

“I’ll be honest, I thought Kane would’ve spoken to me first.”

You scoffed, biting the inside of your cheek. “Well, he’s kind of arrested. Guess I’ll have to do.”

“I hope you’re ready to negotiate the terms of your surrender.” You had to hold back another scoff as you looked at the chancellor.

Bellamy approached the bars to lock up, coming to where Sinclair stood. “You’re ready you talk?” He asked Sinclair who agreed, questioning what Bellamy wanted to know. “Everything.”

You crossed your arms in front of you. “Kane told me a little about you.” You said, referring to conversations you’ve had to set your plan in place, really you just needed to remember the points Kane was going to make to stall time. “He said on the ark you were a teacher telling kids about our future. The responsibility of being on the ground. So why, Pike, are you taking this side?”

“We didn’t start this war, but we will damn sure finish it.” He started to walk past you but you stopped him.

“You should’ve lost that vote, Chancellor.” Pike didn’t miss your use of venom in his title. You were angry, a chancellors job is protect their people not sign their death certificates.

“But I didn’t. Because I know what’s best for us.”

“You’re gonna get everyone killed. Can’t you see that?”

“What do you know? You’re a child.” He finally pushed past you but you weren’t letting up, yelling after him.

“And yet I know more about surviving down here than you do. Than any of you do.” You knew the time was coming if Sinclair had succeeded so as you yelled at him, you ran after, standing only a feet away.

Sinclair began bargaining with Bellamy, asking for immunity as Lincoln began pacing behind him. “The cowards make a deal to save their own skins.” He muttered, eying Sinclair and Bellamy’s conversation. Bellamy taking a more authoritative stance told him to be quiet, but he didn’t listen. “Can’t defeat the enemy at the gate so you turn on your own people.” Bellamy ordered him to be silent one more time but Lincoln came closer to Sinclair, pressing his chest to his back. “I’m not the one who needs to be silent. You’ll tell them nothing.”

Bellamy yelled Lincoln’s name as the man threw Sinclair to the ground, standing over him. “Cover me!” Bellamy told the other guard as he jumped into lockup, trying to diffuse the situation. Only, as soon as he was inside, he heard Lincoln scream at the other grounders.

They were escaping, and Bellamy fell for it.

Pike was about to speak before the P.A. system butted in. “All units to Lockup!” The man’s voice said as Pike raised a brow at you.

“I don’t suppose you have anything to do with this?” His question was rhetorical as he knew you did.

You smirked at him. “Actually, I do.” You pulled out the shock lash you stored in your pocket and struck Pike with it, sending him to the ground unconscious.

“It worked! You’re all clear, the guards have their hands full.” Harper spoke into the comm in your ear as you let out a shaky breath. If you had known Monty was listening in, that sigh wouldn’t have been as relieving. “The gate’s open Y/N. It’s all you.”

You put Pike in the back of a rover, hoping in the front. You had never driven before but Miller gave you an overview and soon you were off. You hit a couple boxes, sending them flying but pushed on until the open gate was in your view.

You were home free.

Until Bellamy stepped in front of the gate. You slammed on the brakes, coming quite close to Bellamy but not hitting him. Bellamy’s face fell when he saw you driving, not Miller or Harper, but you.

“Get out of the way Blake!” You shouted at him. He just stood there, staring at you before Pike stirred in the back.

“Should’ve killed me when you could.” His laugh was filled with spite at your defeat, but you didn’t react, only looking at Bellamy’s disappointed face.

“Don’t think I won’t.” You mumbled as you saw guns being pointed at you, but not from Bellamy. You put your hands in the air and the back of the Rover opened, a pair of guards helping Pike out. Your door opened as Bellamy helped you out.

He pulled you close to him as he whispered in your ear. “What are doing?”

You looked up at him, the closeness having such familiarity, but this time you didn’t kiss him. “You can’t save me Bellamy.”

You were led to the interrogation room, your hands pulled behind your back. It felt like the first time you were arrested. Only this time you didn’t kill a man, but you should’ve.

Pike stood in front of you, his feet spread apart with his arms crossed. “As you know, the terms of martial law and of the Exodus Charter give me both latitude and ultimate authority in determining your punishment.” Your eyes met Bellamy who stood against the wall, a hand covering his mouth and worried breaths. Pike spared Bellamy a glance before focusing back on you, sat in a chair. Your face was emotionless, not a frown nor smile on your face as Pike went on.

“I hope you believe that if I thought for one minute that turning myself over to the enemy would secure the safety of our people, I would do it, but only a deluded man would believe that.” Bellamy watched him, the man he believed was right, but right now as Bellamy listened to this speech tell of your future, he felt his whole-body shake. And yet you showed no reaction and let Pike move on with his words. Bellamy didn’t know what Pike was going to do with you, but he hoped it wasn’t what he assumed. “Y/N YL/N, for the crimes of treason, kidnapping, and attempted murder,” Bellamy found himself standing straighter, his hands falling to his sides fast when he took a step forward, mentally pleading that Pike wouldn’t finished his sentence. That you’d get one more chance. That this wasn’t the end for you. “I hereby sentence you to death.”

Bellamy couldn’t breathe.

A/N: So, yeah! Tell me what you think! For those of you not in my little loop on here, I’m taking a break for a little while so THE NEXT CHAPTER WON’T BE POSTED NEXT WEEK! Even though I’m not going to be on, I love asks, so feel free to drop some in my ask box! Love you all! Hope you enjoy! Sorry this is so freaking long lol

What did you think?

*Reblogging with Banished tags*

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @saturn-aka-six @nathaliabakes @whyamihere-bro @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @wellhellotherelovey @hollymac79 @delicately-important-trash @emcchi @rauwz @herondalescecilys

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @nyxxxwtp @danielabetancourth

[billyspotato]

Heyyy could you write a four bit where four helps recruit an eight to the crew (the reader) and doesn’t get to meet her until one brings her in, and he gets a crush on her and she gets a crush on him and she finds out she’s part of the reason why he’s been so anxious for missions, because he doesn’t want to screw It up for her

Crush - Four/Billy

Words: 2.578 words

Type: Fluff

Summary: (What’s written on the request)

Warning: English is not my first language. Sorry if I misspelled something. Mentions of blood and shooting people.

A/N: Gif’s not mine :)

You get out of One’s car and shut the door.

You look around you, the big ass plane was impossible to miss but you couldn’t help but chuckle as you see the trailers in the distance with such friendly sentences graffitied on the walls: ‘stay the fuck away’ is just an example.

One starts walking to the plane and you follow him. He gets in and you take a look inside to see nothing but drawers against one of the metallic walls.

He opens one and looks over at you.

“Put in here anything that you brought” He tells you and you nod.

You open your backpack and take everything out.

One had told you yesterday to bring anything that you’d like, with you. You brought family pictures and some with your friends, your passports and random objects that would remind you of home.

You close the drawer once done and One locks it in, giving you the key.

“Let’s go, you need to meet the team” He says, and you turn around, following him.

You get in in some sort of base and look shocked at all the technology around you after you walked through so many empty all concrete rooms.

Your eyes quickly go to the table, where the other 6 members of the team stood.

“Everyone” One starts, getting everyone’s attention to you both, “This is the new member of our team, Eight”

You smile slightly as your eyes look over at everyone and the brunette opens her mouth to talk.

“Nice to meet you” She says while extending her hand over the table and you take it, shaking it, “I’m Five”

“I’m Two” The man with brown hair says.

“I’m Four” A voice with a British accent says, and you look to the other end of the table to find a handsome blond.

“I’m Seven” Another voice sounds, and you take your eyes out of Four to look at Seven.

“And I’m Three” The blonde woman says, and you nod at her, “Everyone has a specialty in this team, what’s yours?”

You open your mouth to speak but One interrupts you.

“She’s good at many things” He says, and you almost roll your eyes, “She’s good with fighting and shooting, but her specialty will be driving… For now.” He says looking down at you, knowing you aren’t that pleased with that choice.

One explained to you that you will start in this team as just the driver because the team will need one in this mission. To be more specific, someone who drives a bike, being one of the distractions.

The idea of only driving the bike in this mission sounds nothing but boring to you, since everyone else will do way more important and interesting stuff.

You’re just an adrenaline freak when it comes to these things and you can’t help thinking like this.

Your eyes go back to Four after some time of listening to One talk and you find him already looking at you.

One catches you both and clears his throat.

“Four, here, helped with recruiting you” One tells you and you look over at him, “He said you were the one who fitted better in our plan, compared to anyone else on my list… Let’s hope he’s right” He adds, whispering the last words.

Everyone stays silent for a bit and Five decides to talk.

“Can I show her where she’s going to live now?” Five asks One, saving everyone from the awkward silence.

“Yeah, of course” One says, and she smiles. “Everyone can go back to their trailers, we’ll talk about the plan in a few hours”

Five walks around the table and gives you a smile once you start walking to her. You two walk out of the base and she starts explaining who lives in each trailer.

“Two lives there, but he spends most of his time on Three’s trailer, which is that one” She says pointing at the one farther back. “That one is mine… And that one is Seven’s” She adds before you two start walking a bit more since the trailers are so distanced from each other. “That is Four’s and that will be yours” She says pointing at the two trailers.

As you two walk side by side to your new home, you exchange some words, trying to get to know each other (with the less information possible).

You get in and the trailer is bigger than you expected, since it looks so small from the outside.

It’s no apartment, and there is lack of space, but the fact that you have a space for a good-sized bed, a bathroom and a kitchen, you’re good.

“I’ll let you have some time alone to get acquainted with the place” Five says and you nod, thanking her for the tour. “There’s a dog here, by the way. His name is Wally, he usually sleeps on One’s or Four’s trailer; so, don’t get alarmed if he appears”

“Alright” You say while laughing.

Five walks out and you start getting the clothes that you brought with you on the backpack inside the drawers under the bed.

There’s a knock and you look up at the door to see Four’s head pop up.

“Hey” You say with a smile and he smiles back.

“Hey, do you like your trailer?” He asks and you chuckle.

“Yeah, actually, it’s cozy” You say while looking around making him laugh.

“I can show you a store close by, everyone usually gets stuff to decorate their trailers in there”

“I would love that” You say, and he smiles.

“Great, whenever you’re free” He says, and you get up from the ground.

“I’m free right now”

(…)

A week has passed and today is the day of your first mission, but what confused you was that Four looked more nervous than you did.

“You know what you have to do. In case anything goes wrong, you say it right away” One starts, “There will be no changes on the plan, unless they are actually needed… But they still need to go through me first, got it?” he asks.

“Yes” Everyone answers at the same time.

“Then let’s get this done with” One says turning around and walking to the car.

You grab your black matte helmet from the table before zipping up the full body leather gear that hugged your body, as it should.

“You okay?” You ask Four, and he cleans his sweaty hands to his shorts.

“What?” He asks looking at you, “Yeah, I’m fine” He assures you.

You nod trying to ignore how weird he’s acting and follow everyone out.

It’s no secret to anyone (but you and Four) that the two of you have a crush on each other. This last week, you’ve been hanging out the whole time and eyeing each other when slightly separated.

And anxiety for a mission is no unusual thing on the team, nobody wants to actually die during a mission, and the possibilities are high. But when you have somebody that you care for by your side with the same risks you, or worse, the anxiety intensifies.

That is the exact thing that is happening to you and Four, but you hide it better than him (obviously).

You walk to the bike and Four follows you since you need to drop him off in this specific building.

You put the helmet on your head, pushing it down and you turn on the bike, catching some attention from random people walking around, with its roar.

As you drive off, Four’s arms go around your body to keep himself balanced and feel more secure.

Just this position by itself was making you two tense up a bit. You with how your crush is holding your torso slightly tight and for Four with not knowing how tight he can hold you.

Once you get to do the destination, Four gets out of the bike and you pull the helmet off, making him look at you.

“Be careful out there” Four tells you.

“You too” you say back making him smile. “You’re the one that is jumping from building to building after all”

“Yeah, well. You’re going to be the one driving through traffic and make the bad guys follow you, so… I think we both might be in the same scale of danger”

You smile at him while shaking your head and you put your helmet back on. Four pulls himself up by the emergency ladder on the side of the building and climbs all the way to the top.

You drive off without taking a second look and you go to the street that you need to wait.

(…)

After almost an hour of waiting, the team’s car passes by you, overpassing every speed limit in the world and 4 more black SUVs drive behind him.

You turn on the bike and One’s voice starts shouting on your ear (on the earpiece) for your help.

“I’m right behind you” you say calmly.

You pull the pistol with a silencer from the inside of your right boot and quickly shot the last two SUV’s tires. Screams and shouts of angry men inside the car (now forced to stay in their place) are heard was you speed off from beside them, getting the attention of the other cars.

As you took a sharp turn to another street, one of the two cars left turn to follow you, making a smirk appear on your face.

Their back up starts to appear as well, and you continue to stay focused on the road and on the people on the sides of it.

The sound of shooting is heard from behind you and they’re obviously shooting at you.

“Is everything alright over there, Eight?” Seven asks you and you sigh.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I’m just having a hard time trying not to get lost and not to die at the same time” you say.

“How many cars are following you?” One asks.

“Was I supposed to be counting?” You almost freak out.

“No, you’re getting close to Four, now. He will help you with some of them, but not all”

“Okay, they’re more than five behind me, for sure” You say after looking at the review mirror a few times quickly.

“I see you” Four British accent relaxes you for a second and you continue to speed your way through these tight streets. “She has 7 cars behind her”

“Alright, let’s get them off her ass, we just got rid of this one” Two, now, says.

As planned, above you, Four ran through the ceiling of all the buildings trying to keep up with you.

As you go under the bridge, as planned, Four throws two grenades right after you pass him, blowing up 2 of the cars, but locking the passage for the other 4.

“She only has one, now” Four says and you sigh of relief.

“I can take care of this one” you say as you sped up once again.

Now, this part of plan is in your hands. Anything can happen now, you can turn in a random street and it will be a dead end, or it could have other cars waiting for you at the end of it, or just nothing.

As you almost cringed at the sharp turns you took to try and get this car to lose you, the driver just was great with reflexes.

You grab the other pistol on your waist as an idea came to mind and you made sure that the street was clear for many meters before you looked over your shoulder and shot the driver right in the forehead.

The car loses control and for your luck, he was the only one in it (since the others could just run out and shoot you). The car hits the wall as you took a turn and you announce that you have ‘lost’ the last car.

(…)

You walk in Four’s trailer after a shower in yours and he was just looking through movies.

“Hey” you say, and he looks up.

“Hey” he says with a smile before looking back at his DVDs.

There was a comfortable silence as you sat down on his bed and looked over at what he was looking at, until you decided to break it.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” he says while grabbing another pile of DVDs.

“Why were so nervous for today’s mission?” You ask him and he stops his hands to look up at you.

“I- I don’t know. I’m always nervous”

“From what everyone said, not as nervous as you were today” you add, and he leans back in his chair.

“You got me there” he says while pointing at you, making you smile again.

“So, what was it?”

“I think it was because you were there” he says catching you by surprise, “I didn’t want the mission to fail”

You thought for a second after his words and you looked up confused.

“You were scared that I would ruin the mission?” You ask and his eyes widen before starting to shake his head.

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant” he says making you relax a bit. “I didn’t want to screw up the mission, for you”

“How so?”

“I didn’t want to make myself look like the one in the team that always gets everything wrong” he says, pausing for a second. You two stood silent, not really knowing what to say.

“So, you were trying to impressionate me? You say with a joking tone.

“Yeah, basically” he says, turning his chair completely to you, making your eyes almost pop out of your skull. “What?”

“I was only joking when I said that. I wasn’t expecting you to actually answer that you were”

“Yeah, well, I am serious. I- I have a crush on you since you’ve became a member of the team and it always makes me feel kinda nervous when I’m around you”

You stayed in silence, shocked. You’re freaking out in the inside from happiness, but Four, on the other hand, almost started to freak out himself once you gave him nothing but a straight face.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” He asks before bringing his hands to his face, scrubbing it in frustration.

“No, you didn’t” you say grabbing his wrists. “God, you did everything but fuck up”

Four was the one confused now, he was getting ready for the heartbreak and to bring his walls back up. He was just ready for everything going wrong, but the opposite is happening now.

“I like you too” you say, and he puts his hands back down on his lap.

“What?” He asks thinking that his ears were playing jokes on him.

“I also had a crush on you since I came in” you admit.

Before Four could open his mouth to say anything else, he brought his hands to your cheeks, pulling you into a slow but filled with passion kiss. As your lips moved in sync and your hands went from his wrists to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt, the kiss started to get speed.

Four’s hands fall from your face as the kiss intensifies and grabs your waist, laying you down on his bed and standing up from his chair, holding himself over you.

And let’s just say that you celebrated your success in today’s mission.

- - - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

[stevesnailbat]

fear of the (un)known | steve harrington

chapter eight : will you call my name?

summary: Grace, or 007 as she had been called, finally escaped Hawkins Lab after seventeen long years. But, freedom is a long harder than she thought it would be to maintain.

warnings: the Russians are here! more mutual pining, a little bit of jealousy, angst

word count: 3.2K

a/n: only four parts left! we’re getting into season 3 details now, so it’ll pick up now :) gif by @harringtown

read the rest HERE!

If there was one thing that Grace despised about living in the cabin, it would be the rules that Hopper tried to set out for her. She was never one for going against the rules, but Hop’s rules for her specifically were—to say the least—ridiculously strict. She couldn’t take sitting in the house for any longer, to be honest. The idea of getting out for the day was a redundant and resounding thought in her mind, ever since the birthday party that Steve threw for her and El.

Grace was dying for some human interaction once again. It wasn’t a need to use her powers anymore, just a need for some kind of conversation that didn’t revolve around some stupid western that Hop and El liked to watch together.

She knew it was wrong to listen and wait for Hop to leave to come out of her room, but she couldn’t lie to his face. She couldn’t look and him and say she would be there to watch over El and the cabin when she wasn’t going to be, it was too hard to lie to him. Grace slipped into a t-shirt and jeans before moving quietly into the kitchen and towards the front door, careful not to disturb El or let her know she was going somewhere. 

Once she got out of the front door as quietly as possible, there was only one place on her mind: the new mall. Grace had seen ads for Starcourt on the TV at least a hundred times, and she was a little too excited to go. She’d talked to Hopper about it a few times, but was shut down every time by the excuse that too many people were there. Steve had mentioned the mall at the birthday, and Grace noted his complaints about working at the ice cream shop and wearing a ’stupid sailor uniform'. She knew she wouldn’t know anyone else there, so she was on a mission to find Steve and see the said uniform with her own eyes.  

It didn’t take long to get to the mall from the cabin, honestly. She wasn’t sure how she got there so easily, but didn’t question her own abilities. Walking into the mall was shocking to her, the amount of people buzzing around the mall was much larger than she expected. Navigating through the sea of people was a challenge, but her mind was only fixed on one thing—finding Steve.

The ice cream shop, Scoops Ahoy!, was quite busy when she walked towards it, but Steve was nowhere to be found behind the counter or in the store. There was just one girl standing behind the counter, her name tag read Robin and she had headphones on, she was intently reading some small book. Before she stepped foot into the actual store, a hand on her arm made her flinch and turn quickly in the owner’s direction. Her stress was eased when she was only faced with Steve and Dustin, both wearing a look of confusion on their faces. Steve had a pair of binoculars in one hand and was nearly sitting inside the large bush he was leaning over. 

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks, concern lacing his words as he let go of her arm. 

“I got bored at home.” Grace shrugs, pointing to the binoculars in his hand. “What’re you doing?"

“That’s—That’s not important.” Steve stammers, taking them off his neck to set them down in front of him. “Grace, you’re gonna get into some deep shit if you stay here. It’s not safe. I can take my lunch and take you back—“

“Oh, so now you’re gonna act like Hop and shove me inside for my whole life?” she snaps with a glare, raising an eyebrow at Steve while Dustin giggles about Steve’s shocked expression. “I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve. I just wanted to get out for a little bit and get some ice cream, no harm in that, right?”

Before Steve can respond, Dustin nudges his arm harshly. Steve groans in annoyance and turns to face the boy, listening as he mumbles something under his breath to him. The two of them aren’t the quietest, so it’s not hard for Grace to overhear something about ‘the Russians’ and ‘helping with the code’. Her eyes go wide at the thought of interacting with Russians again, panic striking through her for a fearful moment. Steve shakes his head rapidly and mumbles something to Dustin about the situation being dangerous, but Dustin only rolls his eyes and turns his attention to Grace again. 

“You know Russian, right?” Dustin questions, a satisfied smile on his lips as she nods at him. “And you’ve worked against them for years—“

“Dustin—“ Steve says, but the glares that both Grace and Dustin shoot him are enough to shut him up.  

“Long story short, we cracked a secret Russian code and we need help finding out what they’re doing. I think you could really help us with this.” Dustin explains quickly. “Do you want to help?”

“I don’t—“

“I’ll help.” she says, cutting Steve off. 

Despite the fear and bad feelings creeping up within her about the situation, she sits down and listens to their explanation. It’s a lot to take in at first, but she Dustin plays the voice recording to her to confirm that they were correct in the translation. Grace repeats exactly what they had assumed, then Dustin tells her that they were scouring the mall for some sign of the evil Russians. She agrees to stay, simply because she’s worried about Steve putting himself into danger once again. "You see anything?” Dustin questions, turning to Steve who was staring through the binoculars he’d brought. "Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.” Steve says simply, staring through the binoculars.

"Evil Russians.” Dustin replies. 

"Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like.” Steve quips, sighing at Dustin’s vague response. 

"Tall, blond, not smiling.” Dustin explains and Steve hums in response. "Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing."

"Right, okay, duffel bags.” Steve mumbles in return, binoculars moving towards the upper level of the mall. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me."

"What?” Dustin and Grace say together, looking in the direction of Steve’s binoculars to see what he’s looking at. 

"Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky.” he nearly whines, frowning as he stares up at them. 

The slightest tinge of jealous pangs in Grace’s chest at the thought of Steve looking at another girl, but she stops herself. It wasn’t her place to tell him who he could pine after, not now at least.

“Now’s not the time, Steve.” Grace sighs, shooting a weak glare in his direction.

"If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars.” Dustin remarks, grabbing one side of the binoculars out of Steve’s hands.

"Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards? I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench.” Steve gripes, continuing his fixation on the couple while resisting Dustin’s grasp.

"Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?” Dustin snaps, tugging the binoculars from Steve’s hands.

"Stop, hey. Stop.” Steve groans, trying to take the strap from his own neck.

"Give me those." Dustin remarks, wrapping the strap of the binoculars around his neck. 

"I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one in front of you.”

There’s a silence that rings between the three of them for a moment. Grace’s heart races and her mind whizzes, trying to rack her brain for what Dustin might have to say in the moment. All she hoped was that he didn’t call her out in front of Steve, or mention her at all. 

"Seriously, if you say Robin again—“ Steve starts.

“Robin.” Dustin interjects.

"No, don't. No."

"Robin, Robin, Robin."

"Stop, no, no, no."

"Robin. Robin. Robin."

“No."

“Robin."

“No! No, man, she's not my type.” Steve stammers, avoiding Grace’s gaze as a blush creeps up on his cheeks. “She's not even…in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?”

“What's your type again? Not awesome?” Dustin implores.

Steve hesitates for another moment, knowing he can’t answer truthfully in front of Grace. He wants to say that his type is specifically the black-haired, green-eyed, sweet lab escapee that’s sitting next to him, but he knows he shouldn’t. He looks in Grace’s direction for a moment, noting the reserved look in her eyes at the mention of another girl. She gives him an unconvincing smile before he looks back to Dustin, rolling his eyes at the boy’s statement. 

“Thank you.” he grumbles, rolling his eyes with a sigh of annoyance. 

The next hour passes by quickly, and before they know it, Robin has the code cracked. They spend the next few hours planning out their next moves, finally whipping up a plan to find where the Russians were meeting. The four of them stake out on the roof of the mall with the singular pair of binoculars, despite the pouring rain that soon ensued after they stepped foot outside. With the help of Robin’s cracked code, they find the entrance the Russians use quite easily. Steve and Dustin argue over the binoculars once the Russians go inside the suspicious storage room, a loud boom that alerts the Russians sounding through the pelting rain. 

They all hide beneath the ledge of the roof, breathing heavily as they get away with the not-so slick spy moves. Grace looks down between her and Steve, noticing her hand interlocked with his—it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. They glance at each other with wide eyes, but don’t say anything as their hands separate. They stand up from the ground and rush towards the door, getting there in just enough time to miss the guard who runs up the stairs. It’s a terrifying moment, and Grace wants nothing more than to use her powers to manipulate the Russians into not seeing them, but it’s too much of a risk.

There isn’t much said between the four of them as they walk nearly miss the bad situation. They walk towards the front of the mall while exchanging a few words about what they’d do next, but were too scared to discuss it in too much detail while they were still in the empty mall. The rain slowed down for a moment, letting them get out to the parking lot without too much trouble. 

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Steve asks Grace, watching her walk away from the three of them and towards the bike rack.

“Home?” she says, looking over to them with a furrowed brow.

“No, I can drive you home—“

“Steve, you don’t have to—“

“I’m not asking, I’m telling.” Steve says, walking towards her to grip onto the handlebars of her bike. “I’ll put the bike in the backseat and drive you home. It’s already dark and it might start pouring again. I don’t want to be responsible if you go missing.”

Grace only looks up at him with a resistant glare, even though she knew he was right. She was already going to be in enough trouble for sneaking out, the least she could do was get a safe ride home. As much as Hopper didn’t like the idea of her and Steve getting involved, he couldn’t say much, considering he was nearly her chauffeur and guardian at this point. 

“Where am I gonna sit?” Dustin groans, narrowing his eyes at Steve.

“You can squeeze in the back with the bike.” he responds, rolling the bike over to the car. 

Dustin gets into the back of the car while mumbling under his breath about being in the back, but never complains too loud. They say goodbye to Robin and leave the mall, heading towards Dustin’s house first. It doesn’t take long to get there, and Dustin is gone from the back seat and running into the house to beat the rain that was starting up again.

The sound of Steve’s fingers drumming on the steering wheel distracted Grace’s thoughts as they drove towards the cabin. She looked over to him as he focused on the road, her gaze floating from his lips to his nose and finally to his hair. His hair had grown out significantly since she’d met him in the winter, but sometime else had changed. 

She hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off the shining, dirty blonde that had recently shown up in his hair for the entirety of the day. They framed his face perfectly, the blonde highlighting the slight tan that he’d gotten from the summer. Even in the dark, Grace could see the moonlight shimmering on the light, slightly damp strands. She couldn’t help but stare, and Steve could feel her eyes on him as he drove. 

“What?” he questions hesitantly, eyes flickering over to meet hers for a short moment. 

She didn’t say anything at first, but leaned over the console to hold a strand of his hair in her fingers. 

“Your hair.” she says simply, twirling the blonde piece between two fingers.

“What—What about it?” he asks, feeling like his heart might just explode from the attention she was paying him.

“It’s different.” she responds, looking from his hair to his flushed cheeks and wide eyes. “Lighter. Did you do it?”

“Did I? No—No. It’s just from the sun.” he lies, earning an incredulous grin from Grace, seeing right through his deception.

“Did you get it done?” she asks again, running her fingers through the ends of his hair.

“You can’t give me shit for it.” he says with a hesitant nod, blushing profusely as she giggles and smiles with satisfaction.

“I won’t tell anyone.” she promises, finally dropping her hand from his hair as she eases back into her seat. “It’s pretty, Steve.”

Steve is disappointed when she drops her hand back into her lap, frowning for a moment at the loss of contact. A shy smile grows on his lips at the compliment, his heart swelling with adoration as he nearly melts at her words. He knew he was in too deep, but words of praise and love from her really solidified the way he was feeling.

His car pulls up to the cabin not long after, but neither of them want to be the first to get out. There’s a feeling of confusion lingering between them, both of them wondering if the other is thinking about the same thing. Steve puts the car in park and opens his door, getting into the back seat to grab the bike. Grace gets out of the passenger seat and walks towards him, taking the bike from his hands when he gets it out of the car. 

“Thanks for taking me home, Steve.” she says, resting the bike on a tree near the cabin.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. Couldn’t leave you to bike all the way out here on your own.” Steve says with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Listen, you do not have to get involved in this situation at all. We—We can take care of it and I don’t want you to get hurt because we’re doing dangerous shit again.”

“Steve, you do remember that I can manipulate people’s minds and protect you with my powers, right?” Grace says, taking a step towards him to cup his cheeks softly. “I’m gonna help, you don’t have a say in that. I want to keep you safe.”

“Y—Yeah, okay. I just—just don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to.” he says breathlessly, taken aback by the feeling of her hands on his skin.

Steve wants nothing more than to lean down and hold her, to kiss her and tell her that he’s so madly in love with her. His eyes flicker from hers and to her lips for a moment, feeling a strong temptation taking over. He can tell she feels it too, as she leans into him even more as he stares down at her lips. As Steve leans in, the front door to the cabin slams open to reveal an angry Hopper in the doorway. 

“Grace, I swear to God—“ Hop starts, but calms himself before saying anything too bold. “Just—Just get up here. You too, Harrington.”

Steve’s eyes go wide at his words, looking to Grace for a moment. She gives him the same curious gaze when they lock eyes, unsure of what was about to happen. They both walk up the stairs, feeling like young teens again getting caught by their parents doing something they weren’t supposed to. Hop doesn’t look too angry, but more annoyed than anything. 

“I’ll deal with you in a minute, go ahead inside.” Hop says to Grace, and she nods quickly before looking at Steve with a sympathetic frown as she walks inside. 

Hopper lets out a loud sigh as the front door closes, finally looking over to Steve. He’s standing at the edge of the porch awkwardly, an uneasy feeling in his chest as Hop looks in his direction. Steve has a hunch about what the conversation will entail, but doesn’t want to accept the words that will come from his mouth. 

“Listen, kid. Hear me out on this.” Hop sighs, leaning against the railing as he speaks. “You’re probably—no, you are already in too deep and won’t listen to me for more than a second, but just hear me out.”

“O—Okay.” is all Steve can muster the courage to say, acting casual as he leans against the railing as well. 

“You can’t get too involved with this girl. She’s only gonna try to destroy everything you have with her once it happens. It’s not by her own will, but her mind is damn good at destroying good things that she actually enjoys.” Hop explains, watching Steve stare at the ground below with a blank stare. “She might like you, but her mind—it doesn’t. I’ve already seen her try to destroy herself multiple times, I just don’t want her to end up hurt because her mind tries to ruin you too.”

“She’s getting better. She can control herself now, it’s not like—like she’s out of control anymore. We haven’t seen her break down or try to hurt herself in months, right?” Steve says, desperately trying to help himself justify his feelings in the moment. 

“That’s right now, though. I know—I can tell she’s getting stronger. Not in just the way that she can control herself, but she’s gaining more power, too. The more she holds back, the more powerful she’s getting. I don’t know what that means for her or what other power she’s building up, but I think it’s best if you stay away.” Hop warns. “Don’t get more involved than you need to.”

Yeah, okay.” Steve sighs defeatedly, pushing off of the porch railing to head down the porch stairs. “I’ll try.”

Hop nods at him and waves goodbye before walking inside. Steve makes his way back to his car, feeling like he’s going to scream or cry or something. He knows he should listen to Hop, he knows the girls and the lab better than anyone else. But, he can’t help how he feels about Grace, and how badly he wants to be with her. It might be terrifying to think about what could happen if Grace loses control, but he doesn’t care enough to fight his feelings anymore. There’s no going back on his feelings now, he’s definitely in too deep for his own good.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @heart-eye-harrington @daddystevee @hystericalmedicine @a-magey @lemonypink @karasong @batbatsupermanme @used-avocado @letscici @igotmadskills @mikariell95 @anerroroccurrrrred @blueberrylemontea-fanfic @ilovebucketbarnes @simplesammyx @willowrose99 @charmedtenderness

[sarah-sandwich]

Happy FFWF! Take a moment to ramble about your favorite part or parts of your current wip! It can be the characters, your headcanons, the metaphors/symbolism you use, anything at all! And just for fun: Add a gif that represents that wip!

Thaaaaankkk yoooooouuuu and happy FFWF!!! You’re the MVP for coming up with unique and engaging asks every week!

I’m going to ramble about Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) even though no one here gives a poo.

On the surface it’s this...

but under the tom foolery it’s this

and

but also

It’s a soulmates au but it’s actually about friendship and the importance of creating bonds outside of romantic ones and how the romantic ones should be built on friendship anyway, regardless of what you think about fate or destiny.

It’s Peter centric and at the beginning of the fic he’s alone. He lost all of his friends in one way or another and he’s grieving them while stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage that he can’t even see let alone break out of.

Then against all odds, Wade becomes his friend. In Wade he has someone who understands the Spider-Man side of things and can shoulder the load of keeping NYC safe but also keep Peter Parker fed and rested and ensure he gets enough of a break to spend quality time with Aunt May.

He goes back to school. He starts thinking about the future again.

After some badgering, he accepts a job at S.I. working with Tony in the lab and all of the sudden he’s not starving all the time anymore and he finds Tony to be something of a mentor.

“Stop,” Stark says, stepping between them. “Both of you just… stop. Look, I’ve got somewhere to be so let’s wrap this up.”

“Oh perfect. I’m done so you can just fly back—,”

“I could have flown her out if you would have explained,” he states, cutting him off. “There was time for maybe ‘explosion incoming’ or—,”

“No, there wasn’t!” he snaps, losing the remaining shreds of his patience in one fell swoop. “If you would have run for the fountain when I said to then it would have been fine! Why can’t you trust my judgment without knowing every nitty-gritty detail that got me there? I know I keep saying it, but I’m not a kid! I don’t need a babysitter or—or a daddy-figure or whatever it is you’re trying to be to me. I do okay on my own. Good sometimes even. If you want to team up, fine, but I don’t need anyone to hold my hand or check for monsters under my bed.”

“So hand-holding is off the table?”

“Not now, Wade.”

Stark regards him for a long moment, lips pressed in a hard line while Wade hums the jeopardy theme. Finally, he sighs, “You’re right.”

Peter cocks his head to the side. “I am? I mean, I know I am, but you know I am?”

“Listen, I want you to come work with me. Hear me out! I’ve seen what you can do with dumpster scraps. I want to see what you can do with a real lab. Real equipment. Maybe a mentor guiding you when you get stuck.”

He stares.

HOly shit. HOLY SHIT. Is this real?? 

“You’re shitting me.”

It’s too good to be true. It can’t be— Of course it can’t. How is it supposed to work unless… Oh.

His heart drops. “You want me to unmask.”

Stark shrugs. “Ideally, yes, but we can work around it. You can come in that,” he waves a hand at all of him, lip curled in disdain, “if that’s what it’ll take to get you in the door.”

“I don’t trust your A.I.,” he blurts before he can get his hopes up. “No offense to J.A.R.V.I.S., but the more time I spend in your tower the more mannerisms he’s going to learn and you’ll be that much closer to my identity.”

Stark cracks a smile. “You’re smart, kid. It’s why I like you even though you’re a brat.”

“You should see him play Disney Princess Scene It. Total dunce.”

“Wade! Not now!”

Wade huffs and slumps miserably against the ground. ���I’d storm off in a huff if I could. I hate being ignored.”

He ignores him.

“I’ll make a window in the code for you,” Stark says. “It’ll only apply to the lab and the path to your entrance.”

“The Spidey door,” he corrects.

“I’m not calling it that.”

He sighs. What a stick in the mud. “I want to review the code.”

“I’m not letting you look at—,”

“Just the part pertaining to the window.”

Stark purses his lips like he sucked a lemon.

“You gotta trust a little if you want trust in return,” Peter says, wincing as he realizes he’s paraphrasing Aunt May. Christ, he’s gotten old.

“Fine,” he agrees. “Who should I make the paycheck out to?”

He freezes. “Paycheck?”

Stark shoots him an incredulous stare. “Of course. Stark Industries has very strict restrictions on child labor practices.”

“Oh fuck you.”

Stark grins. “So? Paycheck? Do I get a name?”

“Parker,” he says after a beat. Wade stops humming and Stark’s expression goes slack with shock. “Have the checks made out to May Parker and mailed to the F.E.A.S.T. location in Greenwich. She’ll know what to do with them.”

Stark rolls his eyes. “Should’ve expected….” He sighs. “Alright, kid. We’ll do this your way.”

And then his old friends start trickling back in.

He steps out of his room and forgets to breathe. All of his muscles lock and his brain screeches to a full stop.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to be scared of me,” Wade is telling MJ.

MJ?! In New York?!

MJ (in his apartment!) smirks. Her hair is different. It’s gloriously red as always and her bangs are still choppy but it’s shorter than she used to keep it, barely grazing her shoulders as she tosses it with a practiced flick. “Nice try but I know the truly scary guys have flawless skin and shaped eyebrows.”

“Oh shit,” Wade says, mouth widening into a delighted open-mouthed grin. He cups his hands and bellows, “Vicious and smart, Petey! You better— Oh. Hey, baby boy. You were supposed to go out your window. That’s my bad. I should have been more specific.”

“MJ?” he croaks.

She smiles, bright and beautiful and effortless as always. “Hey Tiger, looks like you hit the jackpot,” she says with a significant glance at Wade that lingers on his biceps.

“I… You… What?”

Her smile dims. “Can we… get a coffee or something?”

“Is everything— Are you okay? Anna?”

Oh fuck, if anything happened to—

“Peter, stop. Aunt Anna’s fine. Everyone’s fine. I was in the city and I thought…” She clenches her fingers once and releases them. She’s nervous. “I thought we could catch up.”

Gwen was MJ’s soulmate. When she died it crushed her and she couldn’t separate Peter from his role in everything so she left. She took off to California to pursue acting and didn’t keep in touch. She’s back for good and they start to mend things. She visits Harry in the mental health treatment facility where he’s been living for the past 10 years since Gwen died and he injected himself with the Green Goblin serum and went berserk. It takes awhile but eventually he gets to a place where he has the staff remove the blacklisting against Peter and asks MJ to bring him with her for a visit.

And suddenly Peter has his old friends back. It’s not the same. It’ll never be the same. They have their missteps and 3 should be 4 but it’s working and it’s good and it’s more than he ever thought he’d get back. Harry is released and him and MJ get an apartment together and they all meet up at least once a week. Everything is looking up. His life is reversed from how we found it in chapter one.

And he still doesn’t know Wade is his soulmate.

“You don’t have a soulmate?”

Deadpool snorts and rolls to his feet, slapping dirt from his suit forcefully. “Can you imagine? What kind of asshole would fuck up bad enough to get landed with me?”

He never questioned it. After five years the specifics of how exactly he knows Wade doesn’t have a soulmate fade. He might have seen the deflection for what it was had they had the conversation later in their friendship, but instead it gets written in stone in his mind that while he has a soulmate, Wade doesn’t and so Wade can’t be his. Until...

Oh my God. It’s Wade.

[jerepars]

Throwing Copper Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 5 Reinventing Your Exit

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here.

Teresa could see the stress James carried in his jaw and the dark circles under his eyes. She recognized it because she’d seen it in herself before, the restlessness and slight delirium, when she wasn’t sleeping.

The first sentence is an ode to the opening lyrics of Remo Drive’s “I’m My Own Doctor”: I’ve been self-diagnosing all of my problems, carrying all my stress in my jaw.

David Lee Autry was one of many aliases James had over the last few years but one he maintained with close attention because the so-called Autry had a credit card in his name. James hadn’t exactly had time to pack a bag when he broke out of a CIA facility to warn Teresa about impending doom. He showed up in New Orleans in a stolen car, the clothes on his back, contents of his pockets, and a bullet lodged in his chest.

David Lee Autry is the name written on James’ fake passport in 2x03 (around 20:54 in the episode); Pete from the militia group reads it.

James felt a lump in this throat. Whether it was because there was something very domestic about letting someone else do his laundry or because he worried the warning he’d come with wasn’t enough to protect Teresa every time she walked out the door, he wasn’t sure. But he swallowed his feelings down and didn’t put up an argument to her laundry suggestion. He appreciated the clothing George had lent him, but oversized tracksuits and brightly patterned button-down shirts were far from James’ aesthetic. And he absolutely refused to put on King George-branded attire, aerodynamic or not, so he’d been going commando while waiting for David Lee Autry’s online order to show up at Teresa’s PO Box.

When Teresa and James meet King George for the first time in 2x01, we get the lovely scene where he yells for someone to get Teresa a King George bikini (1:12) and later points to the speedo he’s wearing, saying “aerodynamic as shit, will make you feel alive, I trust” (1:18). And, like, who am I to not bring up aerodynamic speedos and going commando?

The doctor had come back and after patching him up, again, prescribed bed rest for the patient who seemed to be doing everything to keep aggravating his body rather than help it get better. Teresa had been furious, asking if he had a death wish after all, so he’d spent the last two days bored out of his mind in bed from inactivity, barely sleeping and reading Faulkner. Or maybe he’d barely slept because he was reading Faulkner. Either way, James knew it best to tread lightly where Teresa was concerned.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t sit in a chair at a desk though. Anything would be an improvement over laying on his back and waiting for his thoughts to float up to the ceiling.

So, listen, since they’re in Louisiana, and given their close proximity to matters of death and dying, if James is going to be reading anything at all, it just feels fitting that he’d be reading Southern literature, specifically William Faulkner. As I Lay Dying is an obvious choice, but personally I think he’d be reading The Sound and the Fury. Not that it matters.

The last sentence in the second paragraph is a reference to “Dreamspace” by Glacier Veins, and the line that goes I’m on my back so I float up to the ceiling to feel different.

Teresa had cried herself to sleep that night thinking about everything that could have gone wrong, if he hadn’t made it in time, or if he had but if it had been too late for him. It wasn’t just anyone—it was James, and he would’ve spent his last dying breath to tell her to chase safety if that was what it took.

Never did I think I’d manage to make a nod to and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt from “You’re So Last Summer” by Taking Back Sunday. To be here, in 2020, as an adult, and finding a way to make that reference is...strange yet somehow satisfying at the same time. Also, the chapter title is in reference to a song off the Underoath album They’re Only Chasing Safety, and it looks like I found a way to work that in as well. I don’t know why my musical inspiration for this version of Jeresa seems to come from music that peaked in the early 2000s?

There was a time when James had been her mentor to the underworld, always keeping her from sinking to the bottom, even when he’d been the one who had to make the tough calls and take the brutal actions. She didn’t think he’d ever be able to rid himself of that balancing act, of showing her the ropes but strongly advising her to untether herself from the line completely, to walk away. Teresa could still hear his voice in the back of her mind, from the night after the party at the Birdman’s when he told her in a matter-of-fact fashion why he’d sent her in: your job was to learn. Since then, and especially in his absence, it seemed there’d been only tough lessons to learn and bitter pills to swallow.

I have so much appreciation for the early dynamic between James and Teresa. The car scene in 1x05 outside the warehouse is a highlight because when Teresa gets out, all indignant, she thinks she has the last word (0:15), and James comes right back at her (0:21) to tell her how it is. He’s kind of smug about it. I love it.

And I know that there’s trouble all the time. But it’s interesting that when they get away from this dynamic (especially in S4 where it doesn’t exist, because James isn’t there), it seems that’s where the real trouble comes in.

The balance that they create is delicate.

They were so far removed from the time he’d said I’ve got a plan for a future and it doesn’t include getting killed by crossfire meant for you. But he’d chosen crossfire—sought it out, really—that was what his future devolved into. And like he’d said back then, she was trouble. More and more, Teresa had begun to wonder if there was anything the James she’d first met in Dallas wasn’t right about.

I know this scene in 1x04 is often reblogged and quoted. After watching it several times, my only question is if it’s just the lighting of the scene or did they forget to apply James’ tattoos on set that day? I can’t watch it or see gifs of it now without that bothering me.

It only took Teresa a day to get the cat to venture inside and it only took George a few minutes to declare its name: Peach. God damn, we got ourselves a grumpy cat on our hands, George had exclaimed as she sunk her claws into his flesh before escaping from his embrace like a magic trick, she’s got the same personality as Giant Peach over here. She’s little Peach.

So I guess I rolled with that bts picture of Peter from Alice’s story and wrote the cat into the story. I bet this cat makes zero appearance in S5 and at no point do any of them ever have a pet but I did it anyway. The first thought when I saw it was “Peach and Giant Peach”. Would James be a cat guy? I think he would.

George suspected there was much more to the exchange than the parting words voiced out loud, noticing there was a sense of thanks in her eyes, too. The looks Teresa and James gave each other exuded the tension between them and always made it feel at least ten degrees hotter than it actually was in any room. They had their own way of communicating that only made sense to them, that no one else was privy to. There were better odds throwing copper down a wishing well than trying to decode their language of silence.

The story title comes from “Throwing Copper” by Touché Amoré. Like throwing copper in a well. You’ll never know if wishes work only time can tell.

This is not really the part that made me decide to name the story after the song, but I was still happy to find a place for it in the narration.

“Think you might need to reinvent your exit strategy, Giant Peach,” George said with a frown, nearly in disbelief with himself over what he was about to reveal to James.

“Reinvent?”

“Reinvent. Rethink. As in don’t make one. Methinks the last thing Little Principessa needs right now is more people leaving.” George spoke without his usual puns, so James didn’t have to question if he was being serious.

As mentioned earlier, the chapter title is from a song off of They’re Only Chasing Safety, “Reinventing Your Exit”. I think this might be the biggest Underoath song there ever was? Just listening to this makes me feel 14 again. This was such a gateway to other music that I ended up loving.

Teresa’s evolving thirst for vengeance, to even the score, was foreign to James. It was part of Teresa that scared James a bit. Before he left Phoenix, he’d seen tiny red flashes of her anger, questionable decisions so far removed from when she’d stood within shooting distance on a train car and said we can do a different way, where none of us has to die. Her vision had seemed clear then; she wanted to move product without the same bloodshed as Camila. When James worked for Teresa, he’d never wanted her to lose herself in the business, and never thought she should stay in the business—those were things she’d said she never wanted, too. But being at the top in the business, like she was, it changed people. It was inevitable. It pulled them down into the fire until there was nothing left but scorched earth.

I get the sense that we are never ever getting this kind of James in canon, who is not totally cool with the part of Teresa that she shuts off in order to be queen. I think we probably get another yes man. And for canon, for the sake of Teresa being the queen, I get it. That’s fine. But, in any fic, I always find myself trying to humanize characters and not just leave them as archetypes. The reason this story got so long, the reason there was no way I was going to get through it in 2500 words or less (lol, who am I kidding, I can’t write anything of that length), is because I realized this is the James I want to explore. I want to see him push back at Teresa and not just let go, not just get shut down. Because Teresa is far from perfect and she doesn’t always make the right decisions (tbh, I think she makes a lot of dumb decisions). It’s a delicate balance between the two of them that gives the best outcome.

James’ thoughts in this first chapter are the setup for the exploration of the Jeresa dynamic in the next two chapters.

James used to see a blinding light when he looked right into Teresa’s eyes, a moral compass of sorts, always willing him to choose the humanity he’d buried so deep. But now it was light mixed with dark, integrated too well to be separated. Now looking into her eyes was like staring at a flickering light, not sure if it was going to illuminate the cave or burn out.

Here is the part of “Throwing Copper” that resonated with me for this whole thing: Like staring at a flickering light, you don't know when It'll burn out, or how much time you have left to let it light up your life.

So relevant.

I don’t want to lose you. Maybe that had been a proclamation of love in her own way, and maybe that was the last honest thing Teresa had ever said to James, after she’d realized she’d been wrong to doubt him. Those words had gripped him and followed him. He’d found solace and comfort in them even after he left, because he’d wanted nothing more than to stay, but he left to protect her because of what Devon had hanging over his head.

One of the lines in Tegan and Sara’s “This is Everything” is baby, this is the last honest look I’ll ever give. But by the end of the song it turns into baby, this is the last honest love I’ll ever give.

Teresa and James so obviously love each other but they never say that out loud, right? I feel like that moment in 3x12 when she says “I don’t want to lose you” (around 23:05 of the episode) is the closest we’ve gotten thus far. There’s a silent moment before she says it, and a silent moment after, before James answers and I swear all of it is so telling. The silence. The way they look at each other. The body language. Everything. They know.

[ladywinterwitch]

Run Away (Three - Confessions)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn’t imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn’t your choice anymore.

Word Count: 4617

Warnings: tiniest bit of angst (practically non existing), mentions of sex, SMUT, unprotected sex, f/m oral recieving, swearing, sadness LIKE A LOT, badly written medical diagnosis, fluff, FEELS

A/n: Part three of Run Away. You can find the previous parts on the series masterlist. This is a very important chapter for Steve and the Reader. The plot may seem finished but oh boy, it ISN’T. I promise. Enjoy.

                                                   (gif not mine)

Steve’s month off- missions passed way too quickly without you even realizing it, and soon enough you both are called to go away more times than you’d like. But at least you are often together, and that helps a lot.

Now it’s been three months and you and your husband couldn’t get along better. You still didn’t tell him about your discovery, though. And both Bucky and Natasha, sometimes even Bruce, would kindly remind you of that. But honestly you were quite scared of it. Not of Steve, but of the whole situation. Also, if he wanted to talk about it, he would’ve done it. He had made a few jokes, about you gaining weight in that sense or about babies in general, but it always ended up with sex, so you didn’t really put too much thought in it. You were happy, and you didn’t want to deal with it right now, for how selfish it could seem.

-Cap? You in?- you heard Sam through the com. You held up both of your arms, each hand with a gun.

You were in an abandoned building in Hungary. A few informations slipped out, saying that there was a Hydra base in which there were hostages, reasons unknown.

-Yes. First floor is clear. Natasha? Bucky?- He said, shield attached to the back, a shotgun in hand.  You were looking around for any clue or sign.

-Second floor is clear.- Bucky answered.

-Rooftop, too.- Thor added. He was with Tony outside.

-It’s possible that they got a tip from someone?- you asked. He frowned while you both went up the stairs.

-Fury said that it was a very accurate information. And the actual base is there, weapons, prisons, labs. But it’s like a ghost building.- Steve responded.

The light, the ones that weren’t broken at least, were on. You could feel the familiar scent of cigarettes and cleaning supplies. Also a faucet was on, so people must’ve been there recently.

You suddenly hear a string of shots. It makes you jump, because just a few moments earlier there was dead silence. You and Steve share a look and start to run.

-You heard that?- Sam was with Clint, at the third floor.

-Yes. We’re going up. Bucky, Nat, wait for us. Sam, take Clint outside, go for the ground entrances.- Steve says, running.

-Copy that.- Clint responds.

-Cap, should we come in? What’s happening?-  Tony asks quickly.

-Heard some shots. No, stay in the air. Control the zone.- 

You two met with the other couple.

-There are two floors left. If they are still alive, they’re not gonna get out unnoticed.- Bucky says. Steve nods.

-Let’s go up. Nat, Y/n, behind us.- you did as you were told.

You quickly passed the third floor and arrived to the fourth, spotting some bodies in one corner of the room. You all share a look.

-You stay here, check if anyone’s alive. We go up.- You give your husband a knowing look before they go on.

Natasha and you get closer to the bodies and start to check their pulses. Some had clearly been shoot, but others didn’t seem to have any significant wounds. You finish to check everyone, women and men. You share a crestfallen look. They were all dead. Supposedly around fifteen, all ages, but everyone seemed to be adults.

You were starting to walk towards the stairs, when a noise made you freeze on the spot. A baby’s cry. You and Natasha shared a confused look. You walk towards the source of the sound. You take off a large carpet which was put there to hid an old portmanteau. You kneeled, pulling up the heavy lid. Between ruined and dirty blankets there was a baby. You carefully took the creature in your arms, just then you heard a shot. A single one.

-It’s over, let’s get out of here.- Steve and Bucky came back to you. The both of them remained speechless when you turned around with a little baby in your arms. You had wide eyes while you craddled him.

-He was in there. Hidden. Everyone’s dead.- Natasha interferes. In that moment, he didn’t knew it, but something in Steve changed.

-

You, Nat, Tony and Sam went back to the compound, while the others stayed behind to try searching for further information.

Before the flight Tony called Maria Hill, telling to prepare DNA tests for every single person in the hungarian facility. They had to call the families, but also try and find a match for the baby boy they had found.

When you refused to leave him alone at the hospital, no one questioned anything. You waited while the doctor visited him and checked his health. He was fine, but he needed to be fed well and stay warm. He said that he couldn’t have more than three weeks and her heart broke. How did a baby that little get involved in a situation like that?

They didn’t know anything. That palce was strange, unknown. There were labs, but for the rest it felt like it was abandoned. Dirty, dark and without anything that was necessary to survive. The bodies that they found were all in front of a wall, most of them had shot wounds on them, getting them to the conclusion that it must’ve been an execution. The baby was the only survivor.

Right now she was in a private room, at the Avengers tower’s infirmary, the little boy on the bed, surrounded by pillows, in lacking of a crib.

A nurse was specifically hired by Tony, at least until they found out something about his identity. That same nurse entered the room to bring some artificial milk in a bottle.

Y/n was on a armchair, her legs to her chest while she was reading some files.

-Just came to bring some milk.- the middle aged woman said to her. She smiled tightly. The woman was just about to bring up the baby boy, but the girl stopped her. The woman looked at her quizzically. She stood up.

-I’ll…uhm, I’ll feed him.- she blushed a little at the woman’s gaze. She smiled and handed her the bottle before coming back at the door.

-Call me if you need anything. Also, he is very little, I think it could help his mood to be at contact with warm skin. That’s what they tell to the mothers in the first periods.- then, she left.

You took a deep breath and unbuttoned your blouse just enough to free your collarbones, chest and the top of her covered breasts. Then you took the boy in her arms and adjusted her position on the armchair. He had his soft and puffy cheek pressed to the top of her breast. He was awake and calm. She noticed that he cried very little, just when he needed something.

He took the teat in his mouth and started gulping. He had blue eyes, porcelain skin and black hair. He was looking at her while he eated and you couldn’t help but smile.

-Hey little one. You were really hungry, weren’t you?- you whispered softly. A few minutes later you relaxed a bit more, he was still eating and was breathing calmly.

All of a sudden the door opened slightly, you looked up and saw Steve. He still had his blue suit pants on, but he was wearing a grey t-shirt. He had an almost scared but soft look on his face that kind of made your heart hurt. You pushed back those feelings and smiled at him.

-Hey.- you said. He seemed to wake up from whatever thought he had and closed the door, walking towards you.

-Hey, doll.- he responded sweetly, squatting in front of you.

-How is he doing?- he asked. You smirked a little.

-He’s doing surprisingly well. The pediatrician said that he’s fine, apart from being a little under weight. But I think he’s trying to make up for it. Look at how concentrated he is..- you chuckle and the man’s heart swells.

Seeing the love of his life, happy, with a baby in her arms was just…overwhelming for him. He desperately wanted kids, but you never mentioned anything and he didn’t want to push. Also, he suspected that you were on the pill, because you had unprotcted sex many times and not even a false alarm ever happened..

-That’s good.- he responded. He almost didn’t dare to tell her that they actually found the mother of the baby. But then he cleared his throat and started to tell her that she was alive and reported her son’s kidnapping a week ago.

They also found out that one of the dead men was the father, drug addict that had some money problems with Hydra. They took a guess and reached the conclusion that he wanted to sell his own son to the human trafficking. Not for experiments, at least not in that facility, because they didn’t found any substance that wasn’t out of the ordinary. But they found drugs. So they went for the human trafficking conclusion. All people were identified and police was dealing with it in Budapest. The baby would have to be brought back to her there.

Y/n wasn’t looking at him, instead she was looking at the baby boy. She nodded and bit her lip when he finished talking.

-Okay.- she responded softly.

-Tony already has a deal with the nurse to accompany him, with his private jet. He has to get ready, honey.- he spoke with the most reassuring tone that he could use. Like to a trauma victim, and he didn’t even know why. Maybe she could’ve attached to him a little, but the look in her eyes was so sad that it made his heart ache. He noted to himself that after they were done with the baby he would have talked to her.

Something was upsetting her and he wanted to know what it was. You put the empty bottle on the table nearby and stood up. Steve did the same.

-Will you…uhm, will you hold him for one second for me? I have to button up.- she asks blushing a little. He widened his eyes slightly and swallowed.

-Uh, yeah. Sure.- she passed him the bundle with exreme care and then she started to button almost completly her blouse. She looked up, almost wishing that she didn’t, because the sight that was in front of her almost made her burst out crying.

Her husband was craddling they baby in his strong arms, a little awkwardly, but he was doing good. The tiny thing appeared even tinier in his big arms and against his broad chest.

She smiled and he did too when he looked at her. It was such an intimate moment for some reason. But someone broke the spell when they knocked on the door and opened it. It was the nurse, already with her jacket on and a blanket in her hand.

She came in and walked towards Steve, an almost apologetic smile on her face, probably understanding that she had interrupted a moment, or just the closeness to Steve, you weren’t sure. She took the baby carefully, and then turned to you.

-Want to say goodbye?- your lips parted and for some reason you gazed at your man, whose was giving you a reassuring lopsided smile. You stepped closer, leaning in and planted a soft kiss to his head.

-Be good, little one.- you murmured before distancing yourself again. The nurse smiled and nodded at the both of you, before going out of the room.

At that point you just latched your arms around Steve’s middle, your cheek on his chest, his on your head.

-

After the baby was gone, the team had a briefing. You remained quiet and nodded every now and then, Steve stood up behind you, his hands on your shoulders. It made you feel warm and protected. A silent way to say ‘I’m here’.

Spending time with that baby made you realize that yours was more than an ipothetical future. It was a wish. Also seeing Steve like that…made you fall in love even more if possible. He looked so good, so soft and excited with that child in his arms.

After the meeting you went to shower and he did too, even if in separate moments. Steve wanted to do something a bit different to cheer you up, so he proposed to take you out to dinner. You agreed, mainly to make him happy. Tony helped him find a nice place where you would have some peace and privacy.

He said to dress up nice, but nothing too exaggerated. So you went for a nice but not too heavy make up, your hair in a morbid updo with some locks down, a cocktail dress  and a pair of black heels.

You went to Steve’s office to tell him that you were ready, and in the moment he looked up his breath got caught in his throat. You were absolutely stunning, and if Tony hadn’t reserved and you two didn’t have to talk, he was pretty sure that blue dress would’ve been already on the floor, and you on the bed. You smiled a little looking at his expression.

-You like it?- you ask. He stood up, in his simple dark blue shirt and black pants.

-You look wonderful.- you smiled with gratitude and he couln’t help but to kiss you softly.

-Let’s go.- he said.

-

He parked outside the restaurant and they went inside. He asked for the reservation at the name Rogers and the elegant waiter lead them to the elevator and pressed for them number three.

-Have a nice dinner.-

The couple looked at each other quite confused and a few moments later the doors opened: Waiting for them was a table for two, the only one, in the middle of a terrace. It was full of flowers. The table was prepared and there was a single red rose at the center. The only light was the one coming from the moon and the candles all around. Very romantic. You smiled stepping near the table. Steve noted to thank Tony later.

Once you were seated you took a look at the menu. You chose what to eat and called a waiter with an apposite controller near the vase on the table. The waiter arrived with champagne, which was offered by the house and took their orders, then went down again.

-Well, Tony really exceeded himself uh?- she teased resting her chin on her joined fingers. He nodded, looking around.

-Can I ask you why? I mean, I love it, but..- she began. He took a sip of champagne.

-Y/n…I think that we need to talk. I think…that something’s off. And you seemed kind of upset today with that baby. I just wanted to, I don’t know, try to make it better?- he said awkwardly. She bit her lip to not smile.

-Well, that worked. Thank you honey.- he looked up and gave you a quick smile. But you saw his features still tense, so you kept talking.

-Anyway, what do you wanna talk about? Is there a problem between us?- you asked, taking a sip of your drink.

-No. I mean, not for me. I actually uhm…wanted to talk about us but not exactly us, j-just uhm…- he was a bundle of nerves. You frowned and took his hand in yours on top of the table.

-Steve, love, just say it.- she smiled a little, encouraging him.

-Do you want to make a baby?- he blurted out. Her lips parted slightly. And just in that moment the waiter arrived with a trail and their orders. He had a smile that went from ear to ear while he was explaining all the procedures of the plates and how they won’t be disappointed, but the two kept looking at each other, not listening at all.

When he finished his rambling he wished them a ‘bon appetite’ and went back to the elevator.

-Steve…- she began, breathless. He finally found the courage to talk and so he interrupted her.

-I-I know it’s kind of sudden but…we have been married for five months, and we’ve been together for over a year. We kinda talked about it and said that we were both open to it in the future…Also today, seeing you with that baby in your arms..seeing how happy you were, and beautiful. I myself had little trouble to get my shit together when I took him, but..I love you so much. And you love me. And we stopped using protection a while ago even if you’re under birth control- - her whisper stopped him.

-I’m not.- she said. Steve made a pause.

-What?- her lips started trembling a bit and her words came out in a shaky breath.

-I-I never was. I never took anything after we stopped using condoms.- he frowned, confused. He stayed quiet, understanding that she wasn’t done.

-I know how it sounds and…I mean after so many months that we didn’t use anything I started to question myself..if- if maybe there wasn’t actually a problem with me. S-so three months ago I went to Bruce for advice, he asked to his colleague some tips. Then he made me do two ecographies and…-she was beggining to feel her chest and throat burn. Steve had a shocked expression on his face, his feature falling more and more, by then understanding where this was going.

-It came out that I have a genetic malformation in my uterus. It’s not dangerous at all, but it does prevent me to get pregnant.- she finished in a whisper. By now tears were rolling down her face, but she was still trying to hold herself together. 

Steve looked down, not really knowing what to say. He wanted to cry, because she saw her in pain, and because fate had stripped them of such an important possibility for their future. He was angry because she didn’t tell him. His head was spinning a little and he brought a hand to his face.

-Steve…baby, please say something.- she cried. Then she rose from the chair and went to lower herself in front of him. Taking both of his hands in hers, kissing them.

Then she looked up and saw that he was crying too. She never saw him cry. She had seen him in all sorts of situations by now, but he never saw him cry. He was extreamely emotional in the day of their wedding, but he didn’t cry. That shocked her.

-No, no, no. Please baby don’t cry.- she sobbed taking his face between her hands. He looked at her and felt bad because now he was making her cry. It was like an infinite circle; she felt bad, he felt for her, he felt bad, she felt for him.

-I’m so sorry.- he finally spoke. She stood up and embraced him, his head pressed on her stomach, her arms around him, while her hands were caressing his scalp. He kept murmuring that he was sorry, that he loved her.

-Please, baby. It’s okay, I’m sorry.- she responded, already a little more calm. She had to be, for him. She felt sorry for not telling him, sorry because she couldn’t give him what he wanted.

They remained like that until he calmed down, the food already cold. He knew that he had to talk, to move. But in reality he just didn’t wanted to let her go.

-Steve.- she called him with velvet voice. He separated from her hesitantly.

-I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was just so overwhelmed and sad and angry. I just…- he caressed her side.

-It’s okay, I forgive you. I understand. That must’ve been really hard. I’m just a little upset that you didn’t tell me because I want you to be comfortable enough to talk to me in any occasion. I would’ve want to stay at your side. You didn’t have to take all this pain alone.- he said with his voice a little sore from the crying. She hinted a smile and shook her head.

-I actually didn’t. Not  completely. Obviously first there was Bruce, then I kind of freaked out and told Bucky– he raised a brow.

-Bucky?- you nodded.

-You and Nat were both away….He’s one of the people that I trust the most.- a look of realization on his face.

-It was when I came home early and you were of the rooftop, right? When you told me that you wanted me home more often.- she smiled a little. He realized that at the end, even without knowing, he kind of stayed at her side in the following month.

-I also…felt really bad because I knew that having kids is one of the things you most desire, and now realizing that I will never be able to give it to you…just crushed me.- you confessed, tears threathening to spill from your eyes again. One escapes and Steve’s thumb catches it. You look up at him.

-Don’t ever, ever think that. You haven’t changed a bit for my eyes.You’re still the beautiful, intelligent, skilled, witty, gentle Y/n that I fell for. Maybe you’re just a little bit stronger now.- at at that point you didn’t even cared to keep your tears anymore and you kissed him with passion.

-I love you. I love you. You’re my world.- you murmur against his lips and he kisses you again. He takes you on his lap, your dress going up your hips but you don’t care.

-Take me home, please.-you kiss the spot under his ear and he groans softly before nodding. You get off of his lap and fix your dress before taking the mini mirror in your purse. You wiped away the melted mascara from under your eyes, and the smugged lipstick then shoved it in your purse again. In the meantime Steve had already called the waiter that arrived a few minutes later. His grin dropping at the sight of the plates still untouched. The captain gave him an apologetic smile and asked him to wrap the food up so they could take it home. He took them away with a disappointed shook of his head.

You and Steve looked at each other and laughed. He then wrapped his arm around your shoulders, the night air getting chilly. You went down and payed when your food arrived and then you went home.

-

When you arrived you met a few people of the team in the common room and Sam asked why you were home so soon.

-Had some things to clear up. And we really weren’t that hungry.- Steve raised the plastic bag in his hand. Bruce, Nat and Bucky all gave you soft smiles. Sam and Wanda looked at each other a little left out, but didn’t question anything.

Natasha got off Bucky’s lap and reached you to take the bag out of Steve’s hands.

-Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. You two rest.- you hugged her quickly and gave her a thankful look. You wished everyone good night and then went to your room.

You started to clean your face from the make up and asked Steve from the bathroom if he really wasn’t hungry. He appeared behind you a few moments later, meeting  your gaze in the mirror.

-Not of food.-

A few minutes later he was between your legs, lapping up at your folds like a man starved. You still had your dress and heels on, and the sink wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place, but you couldn’t care less. Not when he was making you feel like you were on cloud nine.

-Steve! Yes, right- right there..- your orgasm hit you suddenly, he didn’t even let you came down from your high. He picked you up bridal style and layed you on the bed. He then procedeed to take off your heels, zip down your dress and got rid of your panties and strapeless bra. He was already in his boxers when he came to you, so all that he had to do was take them off.

He was hovering you, but you stopped him and he asked you what was wrong with his eyes. You smiled and made him lay back on his elbows. He looked at you with lust filled eyes. You were still a little dizzy from your orgasm, but tonight you wanted to love him like he usually loved you.

Tonight was special, too intimate and important for you to not do anything for him. So you placed yourself between his legs and started to kiss each one of his thighs languidly, then around his groin, from his hip bones to his V line, his abs. He was panting heavily beneath you. You looked up smirking before licking the side of his shaft from base to tip.

He jerked slightly and moaned loudly when you gripped him firmly in your hand. You licked the few drops of precum from his head, proceeding to bob your head up and down, alongside the movement of your wrist.

You looked up and saw him leaning his head back, mouth open and abs twitching slightly. You moaned around him at the sight and he snapped his head up to you, cursing lowly. You took him deeper and at that point he was done. He tried to take you off, but you swatted him and kept doing your mouth work. Your hand going a little faster and finally he came at the back of your throat, spilling his seed in your mouth.

-Oh. Shit. Fuck, baby.- he hissed gripping the sheets while his hips jerked a bit, his cock sensitive. You swallowed, making sure to clean his shaft with kitten licks.

You released him from the warmth of your mouth with a soft hum and climbed up to him while you waited fot him to calm down a bit.

-Shit, doll. I wasn’t expecting that.- he pulled you near him and you smiled, making circles on his chest.

-You’re done already?- you teased, stroking your soft leg on his already semi-hard cock. He smirked and switched positions, so he was now hovering over you.

-Not a chance.- you chuckled while he spread your legs. He spit on his fingers and started to stroke your slit to wet you up again, even if you didn’t need that much work. The little show that he gave you had already done the work.

-C’mon Steve, I need you inside me baby- you muttered with a gasp when his thumb grazed at your sensitive clit.

-Okay, okay. I’m right here love.- he captured your lips in a wet kiss while he lined himself with your entrance. You latched your legs around his waist and he entered you with a swift thrust, the both of you breathless for a second. After a few seconds of adjustment you pushed a little on his ass with your calves, signaling him to move. 

He leaned closer to you, one hand on your cheek and the other caressing your waist. You locked eyes and your mouths were both parted for the intensity of the pleasure. At first he went deep, nice and slow, then he gradually picked up pace. You shut your eyes closed and leaned back your head, exposing to him your neck, which he started to lick, bite and kiss.

-Baby I-I’m close..You feel so good- you said breathless. But he already knew it from the way your nails were digging crescents into his shoulders and the way your walls were clenching around him.

-I know love. Look at me honey, c'mon.- he growled - Come for me Y/n. Yeah, so beautiful. I love you so much baby- that was the last drop for you. Your orgasm exploding in all your body. It was intimate, erotic and dirty. But also passionate, full of love and devotion. 

He came with you, emptying himself in you, while your body spasmed a little. It was one of the most powerful orgasms you had ever had. And that was kind of a statement, considering that Steve was basically a sex god.

He rested on you, spent and satisfied. The side of his face pressed to your breasts, his arms around you. You breatehd heavily, your eyes closed and your fingers tangled in his short blonde hair.

The cat is out of the bag…So what do you think will happen with Steve and the reader? Let me know if you enjoyed it, to the next one

Taglist: @polarcrystall​  @a--1--1--3​   @silver-winter-wolf

[pennylanefics]

Insecurity - Taron Egerton

a/n: this was so easy to write! also, this gif is too damn adorable. if you have any requests for taron, i’d be happy to take some!! i’ll write for Eggsy as well, possibly Eddie :) one last thing, just want to say i love Taron the way he is. this is in no way pointing anything out of focusing on the negative, just a fluffy idea i had in mind ❤️ :)

summary: Taron has a few struggles with changes that are needed to portray his roles

•••

“Babe, I’ve got the part!” Taron yells out from the kitchen. You were sat on the couch in your shared apartment, watching some random movie that was on TV. Upon hearing Taron’s voice, you sat up and waited for him to enter. A small smile appeared on your face as he soon walked back in, his phone still in his hands.

“That was casting, I got the part! They apparently loved my ability to be as awkward as can be,” Taron explains. Your smile widens and you stand to jump into his arms.

“I’m so proud of you, T! You are a perfect actor for this role, I honestly can’t think of anyone else to portray him,” you say to your boyfriend. He pulls back and grins down at you.

“Thank you for supporting me through everything. I love you,” he whispers, although his excitement is still evident in his eyes.

“I love you too. Now go tell your family, they’ve been dying to hear!” He chuckles and removes his arms from your waist and focuses on his phone as he calls his mom’s number. You take your place back down on the couch and watch with happiness as he talks, his back facing you. You grin softly as he turns around and you finally see his huge smile as his mom congratulates him. He catches you staring and winks cheekily, which makes you blush.

Taron recently has been wanting to take on a much different role than Eggsy, so he decided to audition for Eddie Edwards, for a ‘biopic’ of the Olympic skier. It was a very drastic change from the outgoing and cocky character of Eggsy, which is why he wanted it desperately. As much as he loves being apart of the Kingsman franchise, he doesn’t want to be type-casted as just that.

“Alright, talk to you later mum. Thanks! Love you too, bye.” He hangs up his phone and joins you back on the couch, where you two were sat before he got the call.

“Wow, I can’t believe I got it,” he breathes out, still in a daze from what just happened. You giggle and cuddle up in his arms.

“You deserve it, T. You’re such an amazing actor, and as I said before, I can’t imagine anyone else playing this role. I know you’ll do great,” you reply. He glances down at you and leans in to press a kiss to your lips.

“And I’ll be right here with you, cheering you on,” you add, reaching up for another kiss.

—

After a few first meetings with the cast, crew, and production team for Eddie the Eagle, Taron was still high off happiness. That lasted until they told him he had to gain some weight for the role. He was of course up for it, but to say it was easy was an understatement. He was put on a diet, was instructed to stop working out. This put a huge strain on himself and your relationship.

You noticed he started wearing baggy shirts, he wore hoodies more often, and he wouldn’t cuddle with you much anymore. It started to worry you, but since it was winter, you didn’t pay attention to the clothing aspect of it; you paid attention to the fact that he had been getting less and less intimate with you as shooting went on.

Unbeknownst to you of his insecurity problem, you began to think it had something to do with you. Did he not feel the same way anymore? Did he think you were getting less attractive? Was he cheating? You didn’t believe the last one, but you couldn’t help as it trickled into your mind.

You push it aside though, knowing he’s most likely under a lot of stress and pressure with the film. So, you put up with it. That is until he starts sleeping farther away from you, declining any hug you go in for, and making sure you don’t touch his body, at least not his midsection. You finally have had enough when he refused to cuddle with you during your usual Saturday movie night.

You sit on the far end of the couch, as far away as you could get from Taron. A single tear falls down your cheek and you quickly reach up to wipe it away, making sure Taron doesn’t notice. Unfortunately, your movement catches his eye and makes him pause the movie.

“Love, what’s wrong?” He asks, moving closer to you. He reaches out to touch your arm, but you snatch it out of his grasp. He has a look of hurt on his face, but now he knows what it feels like.

“Taron, is there something wrong with me?” You ask quietly. His eyes widen a bit at your question.

“Of course not, what makes you think that?” He responds in disbelief. You sigh and stare down at your hands.

“You haven’t let me hug you or cuddle with you, you’ve been sleeping far away from me in bed at night, we haven’t been intimate in the longest time, and you won’t even let me touch you!” You try to stay calm, but you can’t help it. He takes a deep breath and tries to prepare how to explain his problem.

“Love it’s not you, I promise,” he says. You finally look up at him, tears now streaming down your cheeks. His expression softens as he realizes how much he hurt you because of his own insecurity.

“I promise, darling. It’s just, I-they,” he pauses, trying to find the right words. You sit and wait for him, knowing that he just needs time.

“They have me on this strict diet, they aren’t allowing me to work out, and I hate how I look. I have a chubby belly, my chest isn’t chiseled or defined, and I guess I was just worried that you would leave me because of how awful-”

“Stop right there!” You demand before he can finish his sentence. He gazes up at you, tears now pooling in his eyes as well.

“You are so fucking perfect, Taron. And I fell in love with your personality as well as your looks. You don’t need to have washboard abs and huge, broad, defined shoulders or pecs. I actually prefer you having a little weight on you, you look much more cuddly and soft,” you explain as he chuckles lightly at your last comment.

“If you think I would leave you because you put on weight for a role, then you’re batshit crazy,” you laugh, trying to lighten the mood. He smiles and looks down at your hands, entwining his with yours gently.

“I know you wouldn’t. But my insecurity got the best of me and I couldn’t get the thought of you being repulsed by me out of my head, because I sure am,” he says in a hushed voice. You sigh and bring Taron into your arms, running your fingers through his hair.

“Taron, you need to stop putting yourself down. Just think about the end result. You will be in another amazing movie. And I guarantee you that there are women, and men, out there who love your body like this. Hell, they might even prefer it over your toned body. You need to give yourself more credit because you are so handsome and attractive, okay?” He nods along to your words and smiles softly.

“Now, how about we cuddle and finish watching this movie, yeah?” You ask in a more chipper mood. He chuckles and nods, bringing you into his arms and finally letting you get a feel for his newly changed body.

“I love you, Taron. No matter what,” you whisper as he holds you closer to his body, much more happier with himself now.

—

You and Taron are still going strong, six years together and still counting. He has had so much success, with the release of Eddie the Eagle, Sing, the second Kingsman, Billionaire Boys Club, preparing for a press tour for Robin Hood, which he recently just got done filming, and now getting ready to take on the role of Elton John in Rocketman. You are so proud of how far he has come since you two got together, and you knew this upcoming role would be the role of a lifetime.

Filming started in August, and with that, came early meetings, early days on set, and late nights at which he would come home at close to three or four in the morning. You two managed to get through the first couple months with ease, which has always been difficult in the past. He is so excited for this part, he has told you everything that has happened on set since day one. And you are more than happy to listen to him every single time.

But, just like Eddie the Eagle, this role came with some changes to his looks as well. He did have to put on a little weight again, but that was something he was used to. This time, the changes included thinning his hair out for the first few scenes to be shot. He of course wasn’t happy, but there was nothing he could do about it.

The day he came home after being given the news, he was clearly upset, but tried not to let it seem like it was bothering him; he was so grateful for this role, and would do anything to keep it.

As the filming continues, his hair grew thinner and thinner, and his hairline was shaved back as well. You made sure to remind him every day that you love him and he’s perfect, even with thin hair. You continued to run your fingers through it, running your nails against his scalp, something you know he likes. He seemed okay with the transition, until the scenes were finished, and that specific hair wasn’t needed anymore.

You were sat on the couch watching The Office when Taron storms into the apartment, tears clouding in his eyes. You turn around to greet him but your expression drops when you see how distraught he looks.

“What’s wrong, T?” You ask worriedly, beckoning him over to sit with you. He sighs and tugs at his hair, the tears finally falling down his face.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with this, (Y/N)! I look like a fluffy egg!” You take a deep breath and run one hand through the short, thin hair.

“It makes me so insecure. Richard and Jamie asked if they wanted to get drinks after shooting, and I declined because of this bullshit. I can’t fucking walk around looking like this!” He exclaims.

“Hey, calm down,” you whisper, stroking your thumb against his cheek. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes, reveling in the feel of your skin against his.

“Why don’t you start wearing a hat until it grows back?” You offer, already having an idea of how to make it better.

“Because I look awful in hats. Maybe I’ll just shave it off,” he says, falling into your lap. One hand went straight to thread through his hair, which eventually put him to sleep, due to how exhausted he is.

As he slept, you messaged his usual barber and asked if he could stop by tomorrow afternoon. Thankfully, Taron had the day off, so he wouldn’t have to stress about seeing anyone with the hair he currently has.

-

The next morning, as Taron slept in, you quickly ran to a store and bought him a fashionable hat, one that you thought he would look great in. When you returned, he was still sleeping, so you decided to make him some breakfast for when he wakes up.

“Hmm, smells amazing, darling,” a voice spoke from the doorway of the kitchen. Taron comes up behind you, resting his hands on your waist and his head on your shoulder. He presses a chaste kiss to your neck and removes himself from you, seating himself at the kitchen table.

“You have anything planned for today?” You ask him as he begins to scroll through his phone.

“No. I was just planning on hanging around. Don’t exactly want to go anywhere with this hair, and I left my hats on set, but it’s closed today.” You smile softly, knowing that his problem would soon be solved.

As the day carries on, you grow more and more anxious for the time that Sean, his barber, is supposed to be here. You could see how awful Taron felt about himself, and you really hope that shaving it all off with help with his confidence.

Finally, the time came, and Sean was knocking on the door.

“You expecting anyone, love?” Taron asks, standing up to let whoever it was in.

“No, not that I know of.” He opens it and immediately pulls the man into a hug, since they hadn’t seen each other in a while.

“What are you here for?” You hear your boyfriend ask. You stand up to greet the man and nod for him to follow you out to the back porch.

“Your girlfriend asked me to come,” Sean says, winking in your direction. You turn towards Taron, who has a confused look on his face.

“What’s going on, darling?”

“I asked him to come and shave your head. I noticed how insecure and self-conscious you’ve been because of your thinned out hair and receded hairline, so I thought it would be best for you to just get rid of it,” you explain as he smiles widely and pulls you into a hug.

“I love you so much, baby. I can’t think you enough,” he whispers against your neck.

“Go on!” You playfully push him towards the back. He chuckles and taps your bum before heading outside, where Sean just finished setting everything up.

You leave them to it and go back to typing on your laptop in the living room. After about ten minutes or so, you hear the sliding door open and their voices echo through the kitchen. Setting your laptop aside, you stand and quickly skip to the kitchen to see your boyfriend’s new hair-do. You gasp and run up to Taron, who was now completely bald.

“You like?” He asks as he runs his hands over his head. You laugh and nod your head, replacing his hand with yours. It felt like peach fuzz, and you absolutely loved the feeling.

“The important thing is that you like it,” you respond. He grins and leans down to kiss your cheek.

“I really do. Thank you so much for asking Sean to come here last minute,” he says.

“It’s no problem. I didn’t want you to deal with your hair any longer.”

“The only thing is now I just look like a damn egg, instead of a fluffy one,” he chuckles. You laugh and shake your head at him.

“Which is why I went and got you a present.” You run off to your bedroom before he can respond. Grabbing the bag that contains his new hat, you quickly run back downstairs and see Taron saying goodbye to Sean, who was walking out the door. He shuts the door and turns back to you, a confused look on his face when he sees you’re hiding something.

“Here,” you simply say, handing him the bag. He cocks his eyebrows but takes it and opens it. The bag drops to the ground as he examines the wide-brimmed hat.

“When did you buy this?” He asks, not taking his eyes off of the object.

“This morning, when you were still asleep.” His smile widens when he places it on his head and walks over to the mirror hanging above a table against the wall.

“Holy shit, babe. I love it!” You cheer to yourself and walk over to him, rubbing your hands up his chest from behind him.

“I knew you would. It looked like something you would like, and I thought it would look good on you; I was right,” you brag as you smile up at him. He glances down at you and gives you a genuine and loving smile.

“I really do appreciate you doing this for me, love. I cannot thank you enough,” he says in a hushed voice.

“No need to thank me, babe. I want you to be happy, just being a good girlfriend.” He leans down to capture your lips with his and places his hands on your hips, slowly moving them lower and lower until they rest on your bum.

“I can think of a way to thank you, love,” he says suggestively, pulling you upstairs and into your bedroom.

“Hope you’re gonna be okay with not being able to pull my hair anymore when I go down on you.”

•••

taglist: @loveharrington

[anotherkpopvictim]

Duality At Its Finest - TaeKook Drabble

(Gif source - jung-koook)

A/N: So the behind the scenes video of Black Swan had me dead, mostly because of one Mr. Jeon Jungkook.

Enjoy.

Pairing: Bottom!Taehyung X Top!Jungkook

Rating: M

Words: 6856

Smut, fluff

DISCLAIMER/WARNING(?): In this story, Taehyung kinda has a kink for Jungkook’s tiny waist and he makes reference to how much he loves it. I DO NOT want anyone to think I’m body shaming other body types with this fic, as that is not my intention. All body types are beautiful, Taehyung just specifically has a thing for Jungkook’s waist in this story.

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Bonus gifs before the fic begins -

(Gif source - jung-koook)

(Gif source - zhansww)

Sometimes Taehyung forgot just how much his boyfriend embodied the word duality.

Jungkook was his baby boy more often than not, pouty and adorable when he demanded his hyung’s attention. He liked to steal Taehyung’s sweaters and give the older his mesmerizing little doe eyes to help him get out of trouble when the other inevitably came looking for his missing clothes. The pink that stained Jungkook’s cheeks whenever he got shy (which was a lot when the older was teasing him all the time) was one of Taehyung’s favorite things ever.

The other half of the maknae’s personality, however, the one that only ever showed itself every once in a while...now that was a side of him not many got to see. Taehyung could only describe this side of Jungkook as alpha male. The younger oozed dominance and confidence when he was like this, and his normally flitting eyes pierced into the older and kept him pinned in place. The fans caught glimpses of this Jungkook on stage when the maknae got caught up in the intensity of a song, but they never got to see everything. Not like Taehyung did.

It had been a while since Taehyung had seen that side of his boyfriend, and though he obviously hadn’t forgotten about it, it had settled in the back of his mind like a book on the shelf of his memories.

The filming set for Black Swan was at a closed-down theater in LA. Though it wasn’t that big space-wise, it was grand in the sense that every corner of it was decorated to appear lavish and vintage.

The outfits matched the setting perfectly. One set of white suits, accented with black, for the scene where they were in the dark except for the spotlight shining on them on the stage. The second set consisted of black suits that complimented the decor in the lobby of the theater.

However, Taehyung’s favorite outfits by far were the third set. They were black like the second set, but a little more casual wear than the suits. Now, Taehyung liked his own outfit of wide pants and just a blazer covering his torso, buttoned low, but the reason he really loved this set was because of Jungkook’s outfit.

Simple black trousers that hugged his thighs, a form-fitting turtleneck shirt, and shiny dress shoes. The clothing itself was a sight to behold on the maknae’s body but it was the corset that pulled the whole outfit together - literally.

Taehyung had to calm his twitching dick as he watched from the corner of the dressing room as one of the staff members helped pull the corset tighter around Jungkook’s waist. Each tug at the strings was like a tug on his self-restraint. They didn’t make it too tight on the maknae and Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not. All he really knew was that he couldn’t take his eyes off of the leather-like corset around his waist.

Bangtan as a whole had typically stayed away from heavy eyeliner or dark makeup since their Danger era ended, but they brought it back every now and then. Jungkook sported a light smokey eye that brought even more attention to those chocolate brown eyes that Taehyung swore could hold the universe in them.

The maknae turned in Taehyung’s direction after getting finished up with the stylist and caught his lingering gaze. The older saw a flash of the all too familiar bunny-in-headlights look from Jungkook before it faded into a knowing smirk.

Taehyung had to keep from biting his tongue in shock as Jungkook sauntered his way over to him, confidence oozing from every stride, every intentional sway of his hips. All of a sudden, Taehyung wanted to hide Jungkook away from prying eyes, wanted to keep him all to himself.

“Like what you see, hyung?” Jungkook asked him once he reached him, quiet enough in the busy dressing room that only the two of them could hear it.

“You know I do,” the older countered, trying not to stumble over his words. “This outfit, though...I especially like what I see.”

The maknae grinned and hummed, “I do quite like this corset. I’ve never worn one before, but the tightness actually feels kind of nice.”

“Not to mention that it's doing wonders to show off your amazing waist,” Taehyung added. He couldn’t hold himself back from reaching out with one hand and running the tips of his fingers over the leather-like material wrapped around the younger’s torso.

Taehyung loved and appreciated every part of his boyfriend, but there had always just been something about the younger’s waist that drew him in. Usually hidden by loose clothing, Jungkook’s waist was inexplicably tiny and one of Taehyung’s favorite things to do was wrap his big hands around it and see just how small the maknae looked when they could fit nearly all the way around.

“Maybe I’ll see if I can keep it after the shoot is over,” Jungkook said, nudging the older’s hand away when he saw a few staff members looking their way.

Taehyung opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by their manager, Sejin, who immediately hurried them all out of the dressing room and towards the final set for the music video.

Apparently, they only had a couple of hours left before everyone was done for the day. When they’re all so used to shooting videos in Korea where they’ll film into the night and sometimes the next day, being in America was strange. As soon as five o’clock in the evening hit, the work day was over.

Keeping his eyes off of Jungkook was always a problem of Taehyung’s, especially when they were performing or filming and the maknae was in his element, his eyes darkened with determination and confidence. He’d learned to be discreet, but hell if it wasn’t difficult to be discreet when Jungkook was looking like this.

The contrast of both graceful and hard hitting movements in the choreography was enchanting and the maknae’s outfit seemed to fit the concept perfectly. Taehyung thanked whoever was out there that muscle memory allowed him to keep up with the dance while he was basically drooling over Jungkook’s alluring performance the whole time. The corset accentuated his tiny waist, and kept drawing the older’s gaze in.

By the time the shoot was finally over, Taehyung was hiding his half-chub and praying that no one noticed anything. While he was a pretty chill and open person, he still felt uncomfortably vulnerable with strangers seeing him aroused. Thankfully the pants he was wearing were both black and loose and along with the large blazer, helped conceal his half-boner fairly well.

While they filmed the wrap up for the behind the scenes episode, Taehyung tried his best to ignore the fact that Jungkook had draped himself over his back, his muscular arms wrapped around his chest. He tried his best to ignore the way the younger’s simple touch added to the growing wildfire in his abdomen.

Taehyung dashed into the dressing room bathroom as soon as the makeup artists had helped him remove most of the makeup and the stylists had handed him a change of clothes. He let out a sigh of relief once he was alone, glad to be away from the crowd of people.

He was just beginning to unbutton his blazer when he heard tapping on the door. One tap, then three in succession, then one more.

Jungkook.

Taehyung couldn’t help the fond smile that played on his lips at the secret code knock the two maknaes had created back during their debut days.

The older reached to unlock the door and then opened it a bit, allowing for Jungkook to slip in with him. The younger’s face had been cleaned of his makeup as well, and Taehyung thought he looked just as stunning. The breakout on the maknae’s chin, the little mole under his lip, the hint of darkness under his eyes - he was nothing but devastatingly gorgeous. His eyes looked bigger now that they’d been cleared of the dark makeup, wide and shining in the way that made Taehyung’s heart beat just a little bit faster.

“Beautiful,” he couldn’t help but mumble.

Jungkook blushed and darted his eyes away, letting out a breathy giggle at the compliment.

“You want to talk about beautiful,” Jungkook began, smile bright on his face. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Stop. I’m nothing compared to the way you look right now.”

“I don’t know, Tae,” Jungkook put his hands on the older’s shoulder’s and let his gaze follow as they slid slowly down his arms. “You look good no matter what you wear, but there’s something about this all-black ensemble that really gets me. Oh, and with your hair like that,” one of the maknae’s hands moved back up Taehyung’s arm so he could run his fingers the hair at the side of his hyung’s head. “Long, dark, wavy - you look like a handsome demon prince or something.”

“I’ll take that,” Taehyung replied, if only to cover up how shy he felt. “Some of the music video staff were definitely giving us both some looks earlier.”

Jungkook nodded, remembering the feeling of lustful eyes following him. “It’s so strange here, most of them weren’t even trying to hide how they were feeling.” His hands fell to help Taehyung finish unbuttoning his shirt.

“We get looks like that back home too,” Taehyung replied, “But more people there try to hide their sexuality so it’s not always easy to spot.”

Jungkook frowned and hummed as they let the conversation die off. The topic of being open about sexuality hit a little too close to home for both of them but they shook it off.

The blazer was pushed off of Taehyung’s shoulders and fell to the floor in a heap. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the older man knew that he should pick up the clothing and hang it up properly, especially considering the potential price of the item, but unsurprisingly, Jungkook running his hands over his bare chest brought back his entire focus to his boyfriend.

Jungkook’s fingers were tracing lightly over his pecs, brushing against his nipples teasingly as his eyes followed, darkening a little with what Taehyung knew was desire.

His hyung accepted the touch and in response let his arms slither around Jungkook’s waist. The younger was still fully dressed in the outfit that Taehyung loved so much, the corset still snug around his middle. His hands moved like they had their own brain, immediately wrapping tightly to see how close they were to going all the way around his waist. They never went all the way, and they never would, because that would mean Jungkook was unhealthily skinny and Taehyung would die before letting that happen.

Taehyung leaned in and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Jungkook’s lips, startling the younger out of his admiring of his hyung’s torso.

He melted into the kiss as soon as the split-second shock had passed, responding with the same fervor as his hyung was displaying. His hands slipped back up to Taehyung’s shoulders and settled at the back of his neck, fingers carding through the dark strands of hair at his nape.

They were now able to pull each other fully against each other without limbs getting in the way, and so neither wasted any time getting close and pressing together as much as their bodies would allow. Any closer and they would be one person.

Their heads tilted in practiced synchronization, the new angle allowing them to deepen the kiss. Jungkook teasingly pulled his hyung’s bottom lip between his own and gave it a harsh nip.

Taehyung responded with a groan of pleasure, his hands nearly frantically running up and down the maknae’s sides, from the top of his thighs to his ribs. Then he took control of the kiss and nudged the younger’s pink lips with his tongue.

Jungkook’s lips parted instinctively and he let out a moan of his own as the older man explored his mouth. His grip on Taehyung’s hair tightened to a point that it had to be painful, but they both knew that only added to the older’s pleasure.

“HEY!”

A shout from just outside the door, followed by firm knocking, caused the two to part from each other with jolt and then a sigh.

“You two better not be fucking in there!” Jimin continued, “Jin-hyung made reservations at a restaurant and you’re going to make us late!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes even though the older Busan native couldn’t see him. “We’re just changing, Jimin. Relax.”

Jimin’s responding huff was muffled by the door, “Just changing, my ass! I heard those moans of yours, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Okay, Okay!” Taehyung interrupted, “We’ll be out in three minutes, ChimChim.”

“Three minutes,” Jimin repeated, “A second longer and you’ll get a good butt whopping from me. Yoongi-hyung, too. He’s starving... Anyways, just get going!”

The two maknaes snorted and shook their heads knowingly as they heard Jimin walk away.

“Ah, so that’s why he wants us to get going,” Jungkook chuckled.

Taehyung hummed, amused and fond, “Jimin truly would do anything to make Yoongi-hyung happy.”

“I believe the scientific term for that is whipped,” Jungkook replied, causing them both to let out a laugh.

Jungkook admired his hyung’s adorable, boxy smile as Taehyung continued undressing himself. The maknae followed suit, only to find that he couldn’t undo the corset by himself. “Hyung, can you help me?”

The older looked back up to see Jungkook turned away from him, gesturing blindly to the area where the corset was tied at the back. Taehyung licked his lips and gathered himself before taking a few steps closer and undoing the ties at the back.

They both heard it when Jungkook let out a breath of relief as the corset loosened. Taehyung was again reminded of his aching dick contained only by his boxers, as that was the only article of clothing covering him. At the sound of the younger’s pleased sigh, the teasing, mischievous side of Taehyung took over. He smirked before grabbing hold of the strings and giving them a good, hard tug.

Along with just tightening the corset and suddenly snagging the air from Jungkook’s lungs, this also served to throw him off balance and he started falling backwards. Taehyung was there, of course, to catch him and hold him against his chest.

“Fuck, hyung,” the maknae mewled a little breathlessly, his head thrown back against the older man’s shoulder.

“Oh, did you like that, Kook?” Taehyung teased.

“Y-Yeah, yeah, I did,” Jungkook answered honestly. As he straightened himself up, he pouted, “The stylists said I can’t take the corset home, though.”

Taehyung too frowned a bit, now helping the younger out of said corset properly. He knew better than to keep a whipped Jimin waiting long. “That’s alright, maybe we can order some online for you. So we can play properly.”

Jungkook fought the urge to shiver at his hyung’s words. He instead just nodded as he slipped himself out of his turtleneck shirt and pants. “I’d like that. I’ll take a look later.”

The two of them finished changing into their casual clothes in comfortable silence, just enjoying their time together as they always did.

Once they were finished, they faced each other again. Jungkook was the one to lean in this time and press a brief but loving kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

“Alright,” Taehyung said, “Let’s get going before both of our small hyungs beat our asses.”

-------------------------------------------------

Over a month had passed since the shooting of the Black Swan music video. As it was going to be a surprise release for ARMY, all the members had to keep quiet about it’s existence. None of them were particularly good at keeping secrets from their fans, but they did their best because they couldn’t wait to read the frantic and hilarious tweets and comments that would no doubt fill social media when it was finally released.

As the seven members sat down to film their own reaction to the final cut of the video just a few minutes before it’s release, Taehyung was half-surprised that he was sat next to Jungkook. The staff often separated them for being too clingy, even though none of them knew about the true nature of their relationship.

Taehyung was immediately mesmerized by Jungkook in every scene, which wasn’t surprising in the slightest. The second youngest found himself biting the inside of his lip as he waited in anticipation to see the maknae appear in that familiar corset.

Jungkook was complimenting Jimin’s dance skills, and though Taehyung stayed quiet through most of it, he had to agree. His fellow ninety-five liner was perfect for the solo dance shots shown in between their group ones. Jimin was even wearing a corset similar to Jungkook’s and looked pretty damn good.

Out of the corner of his eye, Taehyung saw Yoongi lean back in his seat. Because he was sitting pressed up against him, Taehyung also heard every time his breath hitched. Jimin obviously couldn’t hear it as he hadn’t bothered to look away from the screen, and Taehyung honestly wanted to laugh at how stupid those two were being. They both quite clearly liked each other as more than just friends, and yet they refused to believe that the other could feel the same way.

Taehyung’s attention was taken back to the music video when Jungkook finally showed up wearing that fucking corset - the bane of his existence.

The maknae had that familiar, confident look in his eye as he sang his part, and damn did Taehyung feel like Jungkook was staring right into his soul.

The video continued on, and Taehyung realized that he hadn’t once tried to pay attention to his own parts as he maybe should have, too distracted by a certain someone.

Then, Jungkook in his corset was back on the screen. Taehyung watched as the maknae shut his eyes and spread his arms wide, leaning back and allowing himself to dangle over the balcony of the theater as the camera followed, playing with the speed of the clip. Jungkook’s neck was bared, his body splayed out in a position all too familiar to Taehyung. It reminded him of when he had the maknae underneath him, writhing and glistening with a light sheen of sweat. 

Now Taehyung’s breath was the one hitching. He found himself replaying that one part - only a few seconds long - over and over again in his head, even as the video came to a close and the others began chatting about how good it came out. The voices of his members seemed muffled, far away, as Taehyung’s mind chanted Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. He was lucky to even remember to add some of his own comments for the video.

As the staff cut the camera and everyone went about getting ready for dance practice, Taehyung caught Jungkook gazing at him, a knowing look on his face and a smirk playing on his lips. Perhaps he hadn’t been as good at hiding his arousal as he’d thought.

The next few hours were torturous, filled with Taehyung trying his best not to watch Jungkook while he danced. Every time he caught a glimpse of the maknae, all he could think about was that outfit.

It was later that night that Jungkook pulled Taehyung into his room and pushed him against the door. He was only half-surprised as he was well aware of the fact that they had the next day off.

“Hi, hyung,” the younger said innocently, as if he wasn’t using his strength to keep Taehyung pressed to the door and his hands pinned at his sides. He would have looked more the part too if it wasn’t for the smokey makeup around his eyes.

Though slightly breathless from the sudden movement, Taehyung found himself chuckling, “Hi, Kook.”

Jungkook’s gaze moved down the other’s face, landing on his hyung’s plush lips. Without anymore hesitation, he dove forwards and pressed their mouths together in a hot kiss.

The older man moaned and parted his lips, allowing Jungkook to slip his wandering tongue into his mouth. Taehyung’s hands itched to bury themselves in the maknae’s dark locks, but they were held forcefully at his sides by Jungkook’s firm grip.

Kissing was something that had always come easy to them. Kissing was like cuddling or hugging in their relationship, something that came as naturally as breathing. They could spend hours just kissing each other softly, just enjoying each other’s company.

Not today, though. Both of them could feel the tension in the air between them, both of them knew what they wanted.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Jungkook murmured against his lips, reluctant to pull away completely.

Taehyung hummed, “I love surprises.”

Jungkook grinned, “Go lay on the bed, Tae.”

Once he was released from the maknae’s grip, Taehyung wasted no time in doing what the other asked of him. When he settled himself against the pillows, the older man looked up and took notice for the first time the silky maroon robe tied around Jungkook’s body.

The talk about corsets the two of them had over a month ago had been the last time they’d been able to talk about it. Taehyung couldn’t help but hope that Jungkook’s surprise had something to do with that. The maknae had said he was going to look around online.

“Sometimes our busy schedules really piss me off,” Jungkook announced as he walked over the desk in the corner of his room and picked up his phone. He pressed a few buttons and then the beginning notes of a familiar song began to play through the speakers. “I’ve had this set up for you for weeks but I couldn’t find a good time until now.”

It took Taehyung a moment to realize that it was not quite their song Black Swan playing. It was the familiar instrumentals, but they had been remixed with some of the orchestra version and no singing.

Jungkook looked over at him and smiled, “My own remix.” He walked over to the middle of the room and stood there a little shyly. His leg kept twisting in cutely and a light blush stained his cheeks. “Uh, I asked Jiminie to help me with some of the dance. I hope you like it.”

Dance? Jungkook was going to dance for him?

Yeah, Taehyung was officially going to die.

His heart was already picking up speed in his chest as the younger turned around and stood in a simple beginning stance. Even with Jungkook facing the other way, Taehyung could see the change in his demeanor like the flick of a switch.

The maknae’s shoulders straightened with confidence, the shy bunny look from just a moment ago long gone. Taehyung watched, entranced, as Jungkook untied the belt of his robe and slipped the fabric slowly off of his shoulders, revealing some white lace. As the robe fell lower, the older man admired the tanned skin of his boyfriend’s back, covered only in the thin lace that was slowly fading from white to black.

And then came the corset.

Taehyung’s breath hitched in his throat as he took in the black lace corset that started mid-back and slimmed at the waist before branching back out around the younger’s hips. The style was different from the one from their video shoot, this one encasing more of the maknae’s drool-worthy torso and appearing softer in a way than the leather one hadn’t.

The corset stopped at Jungkook’s hip bones and below that he wore matching black lace panties. They fit snugly and showed off a good amount of his wonderful ass. Taehyung bit his lip as his fingers twitched with the urge to grab that firm butt.

Jungkook’s legs were wholly uncovered, long and muscled and there for Taehyung to drool over. He definitely didn’t mind his boyfriend’s preference for smooth, hairless legs either. Not one bit.

Once the robe was discarded to the side completely, Jungkook began his choreography. The maknae gracefully moved his lace-covered arms up and down at his sides, mimicking the motions of a graceful swan.

As the notes in the song picked up, Jungkook spun around to face his hyung straight on. The two of them immediately locked eyes and the younger’s mouth quirked just slightly at the side, smug. The long-sleeved lace top was thin enough that Taehyung could see Jungkook’s dusty nipples and the definition of the muscles in his arms moving beneath his skin. A tease of two of his favorite things.

Jungkook began a routine that looked effortless, a simple contemporary dance that had obvious elements of Jimin’s help in it. Taehyung wasn’t sure whether he wanted to curse or thank his fellow ninety-five liner for assisting his boyfriend in choreographing a seductive dance for him, but it was probably the latter.

As the maknae continued with some intricate floor work that had Taehyung completely enraptured, their eyes never diverted from each other. Jungkook got on his knees and flung his head back, exposing his unmarked neck for the older’s pleasure.

Taehyung wanted nothing more than to mark it up with a beautiful array of purple and pink, wanted to stake his claim so that everyone would know just who Jungkook belonged to. Years of being forced to hide their relationship and having to allow others to flirt with him would do that to a man.

Alas, Taehyung knew they had to maintain their secret, so he would just have to mark up another, more easily covered place on the maknae’s body.

Later, though, because presently Jungkook was on his hands and knees, eyes locked sharply on the other’s own as he crawled over to his hyung like a big cat stalking its prey.

Taehyung’s thighs parted automatically, allowing space for the younger. He was painfully hard at that point, the tent in his sweatpants hiding absolutely nothing from the other.

Jungkook wasted no time in settling himself in the older’s lap, crawling closer still and sliding his legs around Taehyung’s waist. His hands went to the other’s shoulders, his fingers playing with the long dark locks at Taehyung’s nape.

The song came to a close, leaving only the sound of the two of them breathing heavily to echo in the room.

“Did you like my dance, hyung?” the maknae asked after a few moments to catch his breath, his face only a few centimetres away from the older man’s. He would appear to be saying it innocently to anyone else, but Taehyung could see teasing glint in his eye that told him otherwise.

He let out a growl at the younger’s words, his hands moving from Jungkook’s hips to his back, pulling him in closer. “What do you fucking think, baby?”

Jungkook let out a pleased moan when Taehyung shifted and thrusted his hips up. His dick was undoubtedly hard, poking at the maknae’s pantie-covered ass.

“I knew you’d like it,” Jungkook smirked victoriously, letting out a happy giggle. “You can never keep your eyes off of me whenever we have something even remotely sexual in our choreo.”

Taehyung hummed, not denying his words. “Actually, I can’t keep my eyes off of you ever. You have my attention twenty-four seven, love.”

The younger man chuckled at his hyung’s cheesy words, “Good to know.”

“You were amazing, baby,” Taehyung praised, “I love watching you dance, but to have you dance specifically for me? Fuck, you made me so hard.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but squirm at the compliments, blushing and giggling out, “I know, hyung. I can feel you.” Teasingly, he pushed his hips down into Taehyung’s, eliciting a grunt of pleasure from the older as he did so. “Would you like me to help you with that?”

The maknae’s taunting words caused Taehyung’s eyes to narrow and the grip on the younger’s torso to tighten in warning. “I sure hope you do, you caused this after all.”

“Can I fuck you tonight, hyung?” Jungkook asked, kissing and nipping at the older man’s neck as he spoke.

Taehyung made a pleased noise, “I’d love that.”

As Jungkook began kissing at his collarbone, he pushed his hands up and under Taehyung’s shirt. His fingers glided over the softly toned abdomen in admiration and gave a tormenting flick to the older’s nipples.

“Off, hyung,” Jungkook ordered, mouth moving to taste the now exposed and hard nipples.

Taehyung groaned and complied, using one of his hands to all but tear the shirt off of his body, then moving to card through the younger man’s dark locks.

The maknae couldn’t help but grin proudly as he kissed and mouthed his way to the older’s waistband, now face to face with the sizable bulge in the front of his sweatpants. Jungkook palmed at the erection through the fabric, eyes flicking up to Taehyung when the older let out a grunt of pleasure.

A couple quick tugs to the sweatpants and Taehyung got the message to lift his hips, allowing the maknae to slip off the pants easily. Jungkook couldn’t say that he was surprised to see that his hyung hadn’t been wearing any underwear underneath, as the older had habit of doing so.

Taehyung’s hard cock hit his stomach and Jungkook’s eyes followed it hungrily. He didn’t waste any time in grabbing the base of the shaft with one hand and leaning forward to take the head into his mouth at the same time.

“Fuck, Kook!” the older hissed, grip tightening where it was still combing through Jungkook’s hair.

Big doe-like orbs looked up at him as he suckled on the tip, but Taehyung could see the deviousness in the gentle crinkle of skin around the younger’s eyes. Jungkook always had been eager to tease his hyung and watch him fall apart underneath him, especially in this kind of more confident, more dominant headspace.

The pull on the maknae’s hair became more harsh as Jungkook took Taehyung’s cock deeper into his mouth, letting it begin to stretch his throat. Tears rimmed Jungkook’s eyes at the feeling, giving them a pretty sparkle whenever they fluttered open enough for Taehyung to catch his gaze.

There was something about watching the younger man crouched between his legs, still wearing his lingerie and corset, that made all this hotter for Taehyung. Maybe it was something possessive and primal in him that reveled in the fact that he knew no one would ever see Jungkook like this but him. A voice in the back of his head growled, “Mine!”

“So beautiful for me, Kookie,” Taehyung moaned, feeling his hair beginning to stick to his forehead with sweat.

With all the built up tension of the last few months, it wasn’t all that surprising when Taehyung felt himself reaching his orgasm quickly. Before he could warn Jungkook, the younger man pulled himself off of his dick with a lewd pop and leaned up to kiss him.

It was dirty, the way their tongues twined together and their lips clashed messily. Taehyung could taste himself in the maknae’s mouth and didn’t mind it all that much. The part of him that was annoyed at having his release taken away made him nip roughly at the younger’s bottom lip until it was swollen and dark pink.

Jungkook shuffled around while distracting his hyung with kisses, so it took a moment for the older to realize that he’d hastily removed the black lace panties he’d been wearing. The younger man preferred to be clean-shaven everywhere, including the pubic hair at the base of his shaft.

Taehyung admired the smooth skin of Jungkook’s cock and balls with a wandering hand before the younger man gently pushed him back into a laying position.

There was a moment of the bedside drawer rolling open and then shut before Jungkook was back in his vision, a bottle of lube in his hand. “Can I stretch you out, Tae?”

In lieu of a verbal response, Taehyung spread his legs and bent his knees until he was presenting his ass to the younger. He was still panting from Jungkook’s blowjob, and could barely manage to make a sound at all, let alone a coherent sentence. He hoped that the lust and want in his eyes was answer enough.

Jungkook obviously understood the older if his darkening eyes were anything to go by. The younger slicked up his fingers generously with forced patience as he took in the smooth, tan skin of his hyung’s ass. His hands were on him the second he finished, one gripping at one of his ass cheeks and the other going straight for his pink hole.

Taehyung bit at his own lip in attempt to quiet his loud moaning as the younger pressed his middle finger past his rim. Jungkook kept a close eye on his hyung’s responses as he slowly began thrusting in and out of him.

“M-More. I can take more,” Taehyung panted out, finding enough of his voice to be able to speak again.

“Already?” Jungkook quirked a teasing eyebrow, “Have you been touching yourself here since we were last together like this, hyung?”

The true last time they had been together was the beginning of January, and it had been a quick session of Taehyung jerking them both off with one of his hands.

What Jungkook was referring to was back in mid-December, when they’d found a good night to fuck and the maknae wasted no time in doing so, fucking his hyung hard into their hotel room mattress and leaving him in a thoroughly debauched state.

“Yes,” Taehyung replied, trying not to let the shy blush tint his cheeks too much. “Don’t be an ass, you know I have.”

Jungkook hummed as he slid in another finger easily inside his hyung’s hole. They wiggled around and scissored, stretching Taehyung’s walls. The actions were unnecessarily rushed but the truth was that the maknae was getting too turned on to tease the older for much longer anyways.

“Ha-ahhh!” Taehyung nearly came from shock as the younger man pressed in three fingers without warning and curved them upwards to hit that bundle of nerves that made him see stars. “D-Don’t - I’ll come before you can even get in me.”

Though the words weren’t anything different from their usual lewd conversations, it seemed to be the breaking point for the maknae. Jungkook growled and grabbed at Taehyung’s thighs, pushing them further up and into his body to expose his ass even more.

Taehyung reached down between them as the younger crawled closer and lined up Jungkook’s aching cock at his entrance. It took a few pokes before the tip of his dick finally slipped past the rim and entered a few inches. The older man moved to clutch at Jungkook’s shoulders as he slid home, filling him to the hilt with one harsh motion.

Both of them inhaled sharply - Taehyung at the overwhelming feeling of being so full, and Jungkook at the way his hyung’s asshole instantly squeezed around his cock.

“Oh, fuck! You feel so good, love.” Taehyung whined.

Jungkook grit his teeth as he struggled to hold himself back, but he knew he needed to give his hyung time to adjust. “You’re so tight around my cock, baby.” Jungkook groaned.

It didn’t take long before Taehyung wiggled his hips, a signal to the younger man that he could move.

The two of them were very versatile when it came to sex - they liked it both slow and sensual, as well as hard and fast. It all depended on the mood they were in. Today they found themselves somewhere in the middle with rhythm-less movements and alternating strength behind the thrusts.

Taehyung’s hands were ever-wandering, never settling in one place on the younger’s body. In his dark locks, pulling at the strands, or touching his sculpted biceps over the lace. Most of the time, they ended up at the maknae’s sides, just below his ribs. Taehyung felt the stiff fabric of the corset underneath his fingertips, felt how it gently narrowed Jungkook’s waist.

Jungkook was beginning to lose himself in the emotions overcoming him, hips never stopping their harsh motions as he pounded into the older man’s ass. A thin sheen of sweat formed on his forehead now as well, his breath coming in harder pants as that familiar coil in his abdomen tightened.

The maknae looked beautiful above Taehyung, dressed in his lingerie and fucking the older man like his life depended on it. The way his mouth parted and his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure was enough to bring Taehyung back to the brink of his orgasm.

“K-Kook,” he choked out, “C-Can’t hold it-”

“Me neither,” Jungkook replied, sounding just as shaky and high on the pleasure as his hyung. He held himself above Taehyung on one arm while the other moved to take Taehyung’s cock into his hand. The touch caused the older man to groan and his hips to stutter where they met Jungkook thrusts. “Come for me, hyung. I’m almost there.”

It only took a few good pumps to Taehyung’s aching dick for him to fall over the edge, gasping out Jungkook’s name and spurting milky cum all over his own stomach and the maknae’s hand.

“A-Ah!” Jungkook couldn’t hold back his loud moan as the older man’s ass squeezed around his cock. His orgasm washed over him, his hips slowly coming to a stop as ropes of his release shot into Taehyung.

The highs of their orgasms slowly faded and Jungkook let his body weight fall completely onto his hyung’s. His face was buried in Taehyung’s neck, inhaling the scent of sweat and Taehyung.

They laid together for a few minutes before reluctantly moving to clean themselves up. Taehyung silently assisted Jungkook in undoing his corset and then finally removing the lingerie he still had on after they entered the en suite and turned on the shower. They were quiet as Jungkook gave his body a quick wash while intermittently pressing kisses to Taehyung’s lips.

“You finish up while I go change the bedding, okay?” his voice was quiet and a little raspy from blowing Taehyung earlier.

The older man hummed and kissed his cheek quickly before he left. Taehyung washed the cum out of his ass and allowed the hot water to wash away the stickiness of his sweat. When he returned to Jungkook’s bedroom dressed in new sweatpants and a t-shirt, he felt clean, warm, and fully sated.

The maknae had just finished up replacing the comforter on the bed and immediately crawled in after Taehyung. Jungkook had opted for sweatpants and no t-shirt, which Taehyung didn’t mind one bit.

Jungkook sidled up beside him and rested his head on the older man’s chest. He looked up at Taehyung with a shy smile on his face, “So...you liked my surprise?”

Seeing the timidness from his boyfriend when he had been dominant and confident just a little while ago, Taehyung realized he would probably never get used to Jungkook’s duality.

With a breathless chuckle, Taehyung reached up to run his hand soothingly through the younger man’s damp hair. “I didn’t like your surprise, Kook,” he corrected, “I loved it. You were amazing.”

Despite the bit of blush that tinted Jungkook’s cheeks, Taehyung could see that he also had a proud grin on his lips. “I wanted to look good for you.”

“You always look good for me,” Taehyung replied. “It was just especially hot to see you like that.”

“Yes,” Jungkook started sarcastically, “Because the dark bags under my eyes and the giant pimple on my cheek right now are so attractive.”

Taehyung hated it when the younger got insecure like this, but he had accepted it as a part of Jungkook a long time ago. Jungkook was always working on it, trying to be confident in himself, and that was all that anyone could ask of him. Taehyung was there with him too, to reinforce positive thoughts.

“They are,” the older man insisted, “They’re part of you, a beautiful angel.”

Jungkook huffed a chuckle and rolled his eyes, “Cheesy.”

“Though sometimes I think you’re not an angel, but a devil.” Taehyung continued, “You’re the epitome of everything I want and you have me wrapped around your finger. It’s like you were sent up from hell just to lure me into sinning.”

“Okay, too much,” Jungkook giggled, “You’re so dramatic sometimes.”

“It’s true, though.”

Jungkook hummed noncommittally, but his eyes were brighter. “I feel the same way about you too, you know. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life.”

“And you call me dramatic,” Taehyung teased, despite the blush on his own cheeks. “I love you.”

Jungkook smiled, his eyes crinkling adorably at the corners. He looked like a cute little bunny. “I love you too, hyung.”

Taehyung really couldn’t help himself when he leaned forward and pulled the younger by the chin into a kiss.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A/N: Yikes, this one has been my longest story so far. I guess I was just really inspired by the Black Swan outfits. Also, it took me literally two months to get myself to finish it and the ending kind of got mushy and cute because I was feeling some type of way.

I hope you liked it <3

[taexual]

HOLIC - 23 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: fluff (has holic ever had fluff as a warning) ft. a soundtrack

words: 4.9k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

               prev / next

You’ve never been to a recording studio before, so you didn’t know what to expect but the building looked ordinary from the outside. Not that you were hoping for flashing signs or anything, but the lack of pretentious looking artists – which, okay, was exactly what you were expecting to run into – at the lobby was somewhat surprising.

“You look disappointed,” Jaebum remarked, walking next to you and pointing at the elevator before you could wander off on your own. “Jackson’s on the seventh. Let’s not take the stairs, I’m sick of the elevator in our building not working.”

You nodded, following him. “I’m not disappointed. I just wasn’t sure what I’d see here but it’s… kind of empty.”

“Everyone’s working. They don’t come here to hang out in the hallway,” he explained, pressing the elevator button. “It’s not empty, though. As soon as we’ll get off on the seventh floor, you’ll see many people hitting their heads against the wall, trying to write song lyrics. Been there, done that.”

“Did you write your song lyrics here, too?” you asked, unable to stop yourself. No matter how hard it was for him to speak about his music, you couldn’t help but want to know more. This was the most beautiful part of him – not the mysteriousness surrounding his songs, of course, but his love for music.

“Some of them,” Jaebum revealed, tapping his hand against the wall next to the elevator door, impatiently waiting for it to open. Once it finally did, he allowed you to enter first and then followed right after, pressing the button with the appropriate number on it. “I don’t usually write my songs in the hallway, though. I write the best while I’m talking to Jackson. He has ways of stimulating my mind until I find myself turning my emotions into words I could never voice otherwise.”

You were already starting to like Jackson even though you haven’t even met him yet – then again, you’d have liked anyone who supported Jaebum’s dream, to be honest – but you were still a little cautious. After finding Mark to be extremely endearing and even befriending him, you got into a fight with Jaebum that you did not want to remember or relive in any other way. Hence why you didn’t want to come off as too eager when it came to meeting Jackson – although, really, you were dying to see the guy who helped Jaebum create his music.

“Right here,” Jaebum guided you out of the elevator and down the hallway, which was – just like he’d warned – lined with various different people, all seated on the floor or laying against the wall, nodding to themselves, notepads or laptops on their laps, thick headphones on their ears. “Don’t look them in the eye.”

You sped up, following after him. “What? Why not?”

“The ones going through writer’s block will start asking you to give them random words,” Jaebum explained, “and once you start to help them, they’ll never let you leave.”

“Huh,” you carefully looked around the hallway. “I don’t think it’s so bad here. Maybe it’s in my blood to become a lyricist.”

Jaebum turned to look at you over his shoulder, his eyes drifting to your shoulder bag which you’d unzipped to get your camera out. “No. It’s in your blood to become a photographer. Now, come on.”

He stopped suddenly, opening the door on his right, and you were immediately met with loud music – which proved that each room in this building was soundproof and, therefore, no one would have had any idea about anything that was happening in there if they didn’t peak inside; it intrigued you, really – and, only after you followed Jaebum inside, did you notice a brown-haired guy, spinning around in an office chair, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

“Jackson,” Jaebum said, closing the door after you’d entered. He wasn’t too loud so you figured his friend wouldn’t hear him over the music, but Jackson whipped his head around immediately and smiled, standing up.

“Jae!” he shouted, his enthusiastic voice easing some of your anxiety. He gave Jaebum a half-hug and then pointed at you. “Is this the girl? It better be or else we’re going to start having problems about you bringing girls over to the studio.”

Jaebum groaned. “Yes, this is the girl. Don’t you see the camera in her hands? I don’t know any other photographers.”

“Well, that offends me deeply,” Jackson frowned, “I know I might focus on music, but I can find my way around a decent camera, too,” he turned to look at you, the teasing smile he’d used for Jaebum turning into a genuine one, “hi. I’m Jackson.”

“Hi,” you shook his extended hand and introduced yourself. “Sorry if I’m bothering you by being here.”

“Not at all! I get sick of being alone with Jaebum so it’s nice to have someone else here,” Jackson replied and you saw Jaebum roll your eyes.

“Sometimes I forget why he’s my friend,” Jaebum commented as Jackson patted his shoulder in mock-affection.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied to your roommate, grinning as you watched him interact with Jackson. “He seems great.”

“I like her!” Jackson declared, sitting down on his chair. Aside from being talkative and easy-going, he was starting to seem hyperactive as well. Each time you blinked, he was doing something else. “Are we having a photoshoot here? Fair warning, I haven’t really brushed my hair today, I was going for a natural look.”

“Uh, well—” you hesitated, glancing at Jaebum for help – he was too busy with the equipment of the control room as he tried to turn the music down – because you weren’t sure what you should have said. “I was just about to ask if it’s really okay for me to take pictures here. I’m not sure what I’m really doing, I just want to experiment, I guess. I don’t normally photograph people, so your face might not even be visible—”

“Oh, so it’s a whole different kind of photoshoot we’re talking about here, huh?” Jackson winked, giving Jaebum a look too – and earning a glare in return. “Well, the rest of my body is much more prepared for a shoot. I even skipped lunch for this.”

“You—”

“Stop messing around,” Jaebum warned him.

Jackson only laughed. “Come on, of course, it’s fine if you take pictures here. I’d love to see them once you’re done, too, if you won’t mind. I’m not a professional, but I have some photography background.”

“That’s a humble way to say his family basically owns Nikon,” Jaebum informed you.

“Uh-huh, and that’s why I am so upset to see a Canon in your hands,” Jackson nodded in the direction of the camera you were holding. “Is it any good? Did it come with this lens?”

“N-no, uh, I bought it,” you said, a little overwhelmed with everything but pleasantly surprised to find Jackson so friendly. Talking to him was like a breath of fresh air – not a single awkward moment passed between you and you’ve only met him a minute ago – and you understood that Jaebum probably purposefully chose to surround himself with people like this, because Mark was similar, too. “Would you like to see some of my old shots?”

“Yes,” Jackson nodded, not even checking what Jaebum was doing and instead, driving his office chair towards a settee by the wall of the room before indicating for you to take a seat on it. “I was just looking for a new lens for my own camera because last time, I ended up buying a fish-eye one by accident, and it’s only good for panoramic pictures. Now, while I don’t think I’m extremely bad-looking, you do not want to see what my selfies look like through a fish-eye lens.”

“Yes, because that’s the only reason why you’re looking for a lens,” came Jaebum’s input into the conversation, “to take selfies with your professional camera.”

“Absolutely,” Jackson replied, no shame in his voice whatsoever. “You have to immortalize this work of art.”

You chuckled, opening up the gallery on your camera and passing it to Jackson so he could go through it. You felt almost like you were showing your portfolio to an employer -- but if you wanted to take pictures in his studio, he had every right to know what kind of pictures you took usually -- which was nothing short of stressful.

Jackson was surprisingly quiet as he looked through your photographs, only nodding his head every once in a while, and humming something under his breath. You weren’t sure what he thought until he reached the final picture and then finally raised his eyes, passing his camera to you.

“They’re really good,” he said in an unexpectedly serious voice. Jaebum – who had already entered the studio booth and was now going through some papers – didn’t hear him, so Jackson turned around to find his friend behind the glass of the control room. “Hey, Jae! She is fantastic. You’ve never told me you knew a photography prodigy.”

Jaebum, popping his head out of the isolated booth, smiled proudly. “Jealous?”

“You’re the first talented person that has entered this studio,” Jackson told you, purposefully mocking Jaebum who just rolled his eyes—this was clearly Jaebum’s way of showing love to his friends—and returned to what he’d been doing before. “Do you perhaps sing, too?”

You laughed. “No. Not that I don’t love to yell at the top of my lungs.”

“We can work with that,” he said, giving you a smile before standing up from his chair. “You can fix your settings and go ahead and take pictures of anything you want, yeah? I’ll go check on Jaebum to make sure he doesn’t break anything.”

“I heard that!” came your roommate’s response from the booth.

“I was hoping you would!” Jackson countered, leaving you alone with your camera.

After adjusting the white balance and configuring the other basic settings to ensure the higher quality of the pictures in this specific setting, you began to photograph the room around you. Somehow, the dim lighting in the studio made the pictures come out looking almost amorous, but you went with it because, as you watched Jaebum explain his ideas to Jackson, it seemed to fit the mood.

Originally, you’d planned to only photograph inanimate objects but there were only so many pictures of the office chairs and the general equipment you could take before it started to seem repetitive, so you couldn’t help but allow your camera to wander to the two boys who had returned to the control room and were now busy arranging something that seemed like verses of a song.

Jackson was difficult to take pictures of because his movements were sporadic and unexpected. Also, he could feel the camera on him and kept on smiling, thus, ruining the natural look you were trying to go for. Jaebum, on the other hand…

As soon as your camera landed on him, you seemed to feel a wave of unexpected excitement wash over you as if you’ve been looking for something special about this room and now you’ve finally found it. Jaebum never ceased to pose – without realizing it – and even though only certain parts of his body were visible in the pictures – like his eye and the two moles you’ve admired since the first time you saw him, or his hand as he waved it around for more effect – you could almost hear the story he was telling in the pictures that you took.

Each photograph of Jaebum seemed to speak to you and even though you’ve never heard the songs he’s written before, you could sense the words and the melody just from the movement of his body alone. It was magical – he wasn’t even aware you were taking pictures of him and yet he created the most beautiful compositions by just existing. You barely had to do anything, just make sure that your hands weren’t shaking as you pressed the camera button over and over.

Somehow, you got so lost in the world Jaebum had created, you didn’t even hear Jackson calling out for you.

“Huh?” you mumbled distractedly after you captured his confused eyes as he stared right at the lens of your camera.

“You really enter a different realm when you take pictures, don’t you?” Jackson said, a good-natured smile on his face.

“Yeah, sorry,” you turned the camera off. “What were you saying?”

“I can’t listen to Jaebum complain about not liking the arrangement anymore,” Jackson said. “Do you want to hear the song and give us your opinion?”

Waves of hotness ran throughout your body at the offer. You’d waited so long for this and yet you couldn’t help but notice the way Jaebum covered his face as soon as Jackson finished talking.

“I-I mean, I would love that,” you said. “But if Jaebum doesn’t want—”

“Oh, who cares what he wants,” Jackson cut you off. “He’ll never get anywhere if he gets so bashful about his music. It’s good, man. I swear. She needs to hear it.”

You could tell that this wasn’t it – Jaebum wasn’t awkward about this because he thought his music was bad. He may have considered his songs good but not good enough. You went through the same thing each time you started to edit your pictures. They looked nice eventually, but there was always something you could add; little things that made a big difference. You were constantly afraid you’d miss those little things and end up being left with an average picture instead of an extraordinary one.

“I have the rough copy of it on my laptop,” Jackson added when his friend didn’t protest.

“Alright, I don’t want to be in the room when you hear it,” Jaebum said, standing up and looking at you. “No offense or anything, I just—you know.”

Before you could open your mouth and say anything – maybe even ask him to stay or offer to hold his hand or something so the obviously stressful experience of letting others listen to his music wouldn’t be so bad for him – Jackson started to speak.

“Yeah, well, go, then,” he encouraged, pointing at the door of the studio without turning away from his laptop. “We’re doing this whether you like it or not. It’s time.”

Jaebum looked at you as if waiting for your approval and once you gave him a small nod, he nodded back and then left. You weren’t sure what the silence between you two meant and you sure as hell had no idea if you hearing his song would change anything between you, but you found yourself feeling so nervous, your hands started to shake.

“Alright, here it is,” Jackson said after he heard Jaebum close the door. “It’s about his ex. It’s just the right amount of aggressive and sad. You’ll love it.”

You forgot how to breathe before Jackson even pressed play. You weren’t expecting Jaebum’s first song that you’d get to hear to be about Suji of all people, but if you really thought about it, it made a lot of sense. Jaebum constantly emphasized how bad he was at expressing his feelings. Perhaps the only way he knew how to pour his heart out was through music.

“It’s called Don’t Touch Me,” Jackson added and immediately after he stopped talking, you heard Jaebum sing the first words of the song, the combination of the sensuous melody and his voice sending shivers down your spine.

      ♪ Why on earth are you like this to me?

      ♪ What do you want? It's already over for me.

The lyrics were obvious and yet you blinked quickly, trying to hide your emotions because Jackson was watching you, eating up your reaction. You had a feeling that he could probably hear the sound of your heartbeat even over the music, though, so it was almost useless for you to try to hide anything.

It wasn’t so much the lyrics that have affected you – although they were definitely part of the reason why you were almost hyperventilating as you sat on the settee, listening to Jaebum sing – as it was the realization that Jaebum could sing.

Of course, you knew that he had a nice voice. You had a feeling he didn’t say he wanted to become a singer in the future because he couldn’t do anything else and being a singer just seemed cool. He said this because he had serious ambitions – and serious talent. You knew he possessed the ability to make people feel all that he was feeling when he talked – you’ve experienced that first-hand – but up until today, you haven’t really grasped just how powerful this ability was.

      ♪ How many times do I need to say it, no more.

      ♪ Don't stick to me ever, the end result is obvious anyway.

“Good, right?” Jackson called out to you over the music, nodding his head along to the beat.

You didn’t dare to nod – or to move – in case you’d miss a line and end up not hearing something. This was the first time you were listening to Jaebum’s music – and, consequently, the first time you were hearing your roommate use his voice for something other than yelling at you – and you were, to put it simply, unprepared.

You’d been waiting for this but each word, each line of the song took you off guard. Perhaps it was good that Jaebum wasn’t in the room with you or else he would have seen so many different emotions cross your face, you’d never find an explanation for all of them. Jackson – although he watched you cautiously – probably couldn’t understand you, either, but it didn’t matter as much because the song wasn’t his, and he didn’t strike you as a person who’d get very weird and almost dismissive about his works of art, anyway.

Jaebum was a whole different story. He’d think you hated it. He’d think he’d done something wrong when, in reality, everything he’d done with this song was right. It was too right and you suddenly found your fingernails digging into the leather of the settee as you listened to the song progress.

      ♪ The same conversation every day, I don't wanna no more.

      ♪ You know it yourself, don't you? Already done, no more.

      ♪ I'm getting sick of this now, you know how I think of you.

      ♪ Regardless of what you think, it already happened.

“So much raw emotion!” Jackson continued as the song approached the chorus. “The song has so much potential.”

“Hmm,” you mumbled lamely.

You had expected his music to be good. Perhaps you were even expecting his music to reflect all the feelings he was never able to say but you still couldn’t help but feel like you’ve just stumbled deep into his mind and entered a room you weren’t supposed to enter. When he’d ask you what you thought of the song, you wouldn’t know what to say because, essentially, you’d have to comment on so many different things that made you feel too many emotions that were all slowly driving you insane.

His voice made you feel warm but as the song went on, you realized you were itching to get out of this suddenly hot, suffocating room and find Jaebum. You didn’t want to think what you’d say—or do—to him once you found him.

His lyrics made you realize just how deep his feelings about all that had happened in his life ran. If this was a song he wrote about someone he couldn’t wait to run away from, what kind of songs would he sing about someone he actually wanted to be with? Someone he loved?

And the music… you weren’t sure if he made it himself or if he had someone else arrange it for him, but you couldn’t tell a difference between his voice and the music itself. They blended together, not sounding just harmonious, but sounding like they were inseparable — like they were one and they could not exist without each other. Jaebum could not sing these words without this music accompanying his voice and the music could not play without his words emerging from it.

      ♪ Don't look for me anymore.

      ♪ I don't want you.

      ♪ Even if you say you long for me,

      ♪ Even if you need me to death,

      ♪ I won't waver a single bit, ever.

You knew how Jaebum felt about Suji – hell, he said you were one of the few people who knew it well – but listening to him sing about it, each word coming straight from his heart, felt too intrusive to handle and, while you wanted to never stop listening to his calming voice as he sang, you also weren’t sure if you’d be able to endure the entire song.

You didn’t start fidgeting because you were uncomfortable listening to Jaebum sing about his ex-girlfriend. You started to fidget because you were uncomfortable with yourself and with the conclusion that your heart had finally landed on.

It was clear as day to every part of your body and there was no denying it anymore. There was no longer any room for doubt and even your stubborn mind was able to recognize it – you were falling in love with Jaebum.

       ♪ Don't touch me now, don't stay close to me.

       ♪ Just as you were before, nothing's changed about you.

       ♪ Don't touch me now, don't stay close to me.

       ♪ Just as you were before, nothing's changed about you, baby.

You’ve known you no longer saw Jaebum as just a roommate for a while now, but you refused to dig deeper into your feelings. You refused to over-analyze them, instead focusing on analyzing the behavior of Jaebum and the things he was feeling towards you. Maybe, in a way, you’ve avoided confrontations with your heart the same way that Jaebum avoided coming face-to-face with his music.

You didn’t want to admit to yourself that what had started out as curious admiration had bloomed into attraction – somehow skipping the hate you’d assumed you were supposed to feel for Jaebum after everything you’ve gone through with him – and now you were overwhelmed by all that you’d tried to run away from. You were no longer just admiring him and his mind. You were no longer just attracted to him and everything that he did.

Even despite all the fights you’ve had, you were always afraid to lose him. Despite the fear you felt about never having a chance with him, you constantly thought about him. Despite not wanting to put him through the same thing he’d gone through with Suji, you still wanted to be with him.

You were falling in love with him and, as his song played on, you suddenly weren’t sure what to do with the extra beats of your heart because they all belonged to him. They were all screaming for him.

Jackson cleared his throat suddenly, distracting you from the wild feelings that were freewheeling all over your chest. He gave you a gentle smile once you turned to look at him, your eyes still wide.

“You… know the person he’s singing about, don’t you?” he asked slowly. “Sorry if that’s a very personal question, you just—you looked really uncomfortable for a while there, and I know there’s no way it’s because you don’t like the song.”

“No, uh, the song’s great,” you said, trying to get yourself together enough to appear normal but each word that came out of your mouth sounded foreign. “It’s really really good. I don’t know why I’m surprised, I knew it was going to be good—but, uh, it’s amazing. And… yeah. I think I do know the person he’s singing about.”

“Oh,” Jackson nodded, taking this information in. You wondered if he started to feel awkward because he didn’t know about Suji or if the look on his face symbolized sympathy because he knew what Jaebum was singing about, too. “Does it feel weird to listen to your boyfriend sing about his ex?”

You blinked in surprise, Jackson’s words working like an electric shock, startling you awake from a trance Jaebum’s song had put you in. “My—oh, no. Jaebum—no. We’re not—he isn’t my—no.”

Your mind flashed back to your shopping session at IKEA where a salesman had assumed you and Jaebum were together – many things have changed since then but you were still awkward when explaining to people that the things between you were strictly platonic. Even more so now that you realized just how hard you wanted to be with Jaebum without a label in the way.

“We’re not dating,” you clarified in case Jackson did not figure out what you were trying to say as you rambled clumsily. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Okay, I got that,” Jackson said, a subtle smirk on his lips, “It’s just that Jae’s never brought a girl over to my studio -- actually, he'd never introduced me to any girl that he knew before, so I figured this was his subtle way of letting me know that you and him--well, nevermind, then,” he stopped, shaking his head and going back to the previous topic, “anyway, what did you think of the song?”

“It’s—”

The door of the studio opened at the same time you started to speak and an awkward Jaebum poked his head inside. He looked afraid to hear his own music still playing and he seemed to visibly relax as soon as he realized you and Jackson were talking in silence.

Your heart – that could not seem to rest ever since you heard the first chords of his song – suddenly started to beat even faster as if attempting to break out of your chest and exit your body in any way it could. You were afraid to open your mouth.

“Don’t look like you just stumbled into the wrong room,” Jackson told his friend. “Come in. She liked the song.”

“She did?” Jaebum asked, shooting you an awkward, sheepish look.

You have never seen him this flustered and, for a moment, you even considered the possibility of him feeling about as affected by this as you were. Jaebum clearly didn’t let many people listen to his music so you could only imagine the anxiety he must have been feeling after you heard his song, and yet, you still weren’t sure if it was possible for anyone to feel as many emotions as you were feeling in that moment.

“Yes, it’s incredible,” you managed to speak, clearing your throat once you heard how weak your voice sounded. You hadn’t even realized you stood up as soon as you started to talk, “there’s so much feeling in the song. You have a wonderful ability to tell the most emotional story with your music, I—,” you stopped, noticing the look Jaebum gave Jackson – as if he was asking his friend if this was really happening. “It’s really g-great. Your voice is very, uh, fitting for this kind of song. It’s just sensual enough to make the listener feel all that you’re feeling and more.”

“I, uh…” Jaebum was evidently new at receiving compliments for his music because, probably for the first time in your life, you caught him at a loss for words. “Thank you. Did you really think it was good?”

“Yes. Somehow, this is exactly the kind of music I was expecting from you,” you said despite just having been caught off guard by how much his music had made you feel. “Your voice made every word sound attractive and somehow soothing, despite the song… not being about the most positive kind of things. It--it’s probably weird but I got the feeling like you could sing about the end of the world, describing every disturbing thing that was going to happen to the humankind, and your voice would make the listener feel like, despite it being the apocalypse, everything was still going to be okay.”

Because Jaebum had a hard time finding what to say and Jackson did not want to interfere – alright, maybe he did want to cut in with the most teasing phrase he could muster, but he chose to stay out of it and let you two play around your feelings for a little while longer – you were starting to feel awkward – shit, you shouldn’t have talked about his voice so much; what a way to make your feelings for him obvious – so, after glancing at the clock on your phone, you sighed in an overly dramatic way.

“I think I’m going to head out,” you said. “It’s getting quite late, I got the pictures I was hoping for, so I won’t disturb you anymore. Thank you for bringing me here, I had a lot of fun. A-and thank you for finally letting me hear your music. Oh! And it was very nice to meet you, Jackson.”

“Nice to meet you, too!” Jackson replied, shooting you a wink. He might have been the only person in this room – other than you – who understood exactly why you needed to leave because Jaebum still looked too overwhelmed with everything to figure anything out. Thank God for that.

“Wait—” your roommate called out as you headed for the door, your abrupt decision to leave not sitting right with him. “I--I’ll take you home.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you said, unsure if you’d endure a ride back home with him. You felt like you needed some time alone to get yourself together. Looking at him right now made you feel too much and you still haven’t recovered from the intense emotional rollercoaster his song had taken you on – you were seriously far too sensitive to all things that involved Jaebum. “You stay and work on your music. I’ll find my way back.”

Conflicted what to say and still overwhelmed from all that had just happened, Jaebum didn’t stop you, giving Jackson a questioning look – and earning a shrug in return – before mumbling a soft, “she thinks I have a sensual voice,” right as you walked out of the door of the studio.

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