#that doesn't mean she won't kill at all period

[flowersforbucky]

it's nice to have a friend

summary: you're having the worst period you've had in a long time. bucky is determined to help you feel better.

author's note: this is a silly and smutty piece that i felt compelled to write when i got my period a few days ago!

warnings/tags: smutty, reader has a period, langauge, use of a vibrator, nipple stimulation, no use of y/n, use of a cbd gummy lol

word count: 3.2k

Approximately every twenty-eight days, you curse the fact that you were born with a uterus and vagina. 

This month, however, you were cursing that fact a bit earlier than expected. Cycle day twenty three, to be exact. 

Your periods never start this early, but as soon as you opened your eyes at six o'clock this morning, you knew what had occured while you were asleep. You could feel the moisture that soaked through your underwear and pajama pants before you could turn on the light to see that your white sheets had been dyed bright crimson beneath where you'd been laying. 

One load of laundry with extra stain remover and as much Pamprin max strength as one can safely take later, you are curled up on the couch of the compound's living room with a cup of coffee and a heating pad turned up so high that you risk first degree burns. 

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you today? We can go to Coney Island another time,” Natasha tries to reason with you once again. 

“I promise I'll be okay here,” you assure her. “These cramps are killing me, I won't be any fun to hang out with today. Go, enjoy yourself. When is the next time that you'll all have a free day and weather this perfect?” You gesture towards the sunshine streaming through the living room windows. 

“If you're sure,” she caves after a few moments of hesitation. “Promise I’ll win you that stuffed panda that you wanted so badly last time.” 

“I am going to hold you to that,” you tell her in a faux-serious tone. 

After Natasha and the rest of your friends have left for their day of riding rollercoasters and eating hotdogs on the boardwalk, you turn on your comfort show and settle in for an unexciting and uncomfortable day by yourself. 

A few hours later, you decide you've sat in the same position for long enough - you can practically feel your body morphing to the sofa. You're walking to the kitchen to refill your water bottle and find something to snack on when you collide with what feels like a brick wall. 

A brick wall that happens to smell really, really fucking good. 

You step back, finding that the brick wall is staring at you with a confused look on his face. 

"What are you doing here?” Bucky asks as he glances you over from head to toe, taking in your choice of apparel - baggy sweats that are about two sizes too big for you, a cropped tank, and fuzzy slippers. You resist the urge to cross your arms over your stomach - you didn't think anyone else would be here today and the tank top you're wearing doesn't exactly conceal the period bloat you're currently experiencing. 

"I live here,” you snap, a bit harsher than necessary. “What are you doing here?” 

“I also live here,” he says, returning your attitude. You roll your eyes, maneuvering your way around where he blocks the doorway. 

“What I mean,” he continues as he turns around, following you into the kitchen. “Is why aren't you with everyone at Coney Island?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” you challenge, pouring some more ice into your cup. “Steve never shuts up about the glory days, all the time the two of you spent at Coney Island. I'm surprised you're not there with him right now.” 

He huffs a laugh, pulling out one of the barstools at the kitchen's giant island and taking a seat. “We did spend a ridiculous amount of time at Coney Island,” he admits, his voice almost wistful. He hesitates before continuing, staring down at his hands as he traces a metal crevice on his left palm.

"But I haven't been to Coney Island since the forties. Guess I'm kinda scared it won't live up to my memories of it. Plus, I had a lot of laundry to catch up on, so..” he shrugs, trailing off. 

You're taken aback by the honesty of his explanation. “Yeah, well,” you start awkwardly, turning away from him to search through a cabinet for something to eat. “I can't say that I know what it was like in the forties, but it's one of my favorite places, present day.” 

“Then why are you hanging out by yourself while all of your friends are at one of your favorite places?” 

Damn it, you curse internally. He's really not going to drop this. What should I say, that my uterine lining is falling out in clumps? 

You grab a bag of freeze-dried fruit from the cabinet before turning back to face him, trying to come up with an excuse. 

“I just didn't sleep great–” you come to an abrupt stop in the middle of your sentence as a blinding pain shoots through your lower abdomen. The bag of fruit falls to the floor as you steady yourself on the ledge of the counter with one hand, clutching your stomach with the other. 

Bucky rises from his seat in an instant, closing the several feet of distance between the two of you in one big step. 

"Are you okay? What’s going on?” His hands are both extended to you in an offer of help. 

“I'm fine,” you say through a sharp intake of breath. “It’s.. it’s just cramps. Bad cramps,” you force the words out, propping your elbows up on the countertop to relax your body weight. 

“Oh,” he says as realization dawns on him. He bends down to grab the bag of fruit that lays next to your feet, and then places it on the table in front of you. “I guess that answers my question, then,” he adds, referring to why you didn't go to Coney Island. 

“Ya think?” You stand back upright, grabbing your snack and water bottle off of the counter. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have a busy day of bed-rotting ahead of me.” 

“Some exercise would help,” he calls when you're about to exit the kitchen. “Laying in bed won't do much for you. A little bit of light exercise to release some beta-endorphins, maybe an abdominal massage–” 

“Are you really man-splaining menstrual cycle pain management to me right now?” You ask, slowly turning to face him with an incredulous look on your face. “I wasn't aware that you had a medical license or that I asked for your opinion.” 

“Just trying to help, sweetheart,” he shrugs with a mischievous grin. 

“If you want to help, you can go get the Italian food that I'm craving and give me an abdominal massage yourself,” you practically spit at him. “Otherwise, keep the unsolicited advice to yourself and fuck off.” 

You turn back around and all but run out of the room before you can process the shocked, albeit pleased look on his face.  

After you've closed your bedroom door behind you (with perhaps a bit more force than necessary), you sink into the fresh sheets on your bed and shove several pieces of apricot into your mouth. 

Rationally, you knew that Bucky's advice was solid, and that he was just trying to get a reaction out of you. That's just the kind of friendship that the two of you have. Sarcastic, teasing and occasionally… tension-filled. 

You definitely didn't help the matter by telling him to massage your abdomen, but what does he expect when he suggests something as horrible as exercising during a time that you simply want nothing more than to melt into your mattress? 

Your cell phone chimes from the pocket of your sweatpants. You dig it out and look at the text displayed across your lock screen. 

Bucky Barnes: What kind of Italian food, specifically? 

You would never admit it to him, but the corners of your mouth tug upwards into a smirk as you read his message. 

You type: Don't you have a lot of laundry to catch up on? and press send. The message is marked as “read” right away. 

He types. And types. And types some more – until those three dots indicating a message in progress disappear. 

Whatever. You click your phone off and toss it somewhere in the covers around you. 

The next couple hours are spent sitting under the near scalding stream of your shower, and then reading on your Kindle in the dark. As jealous as you are that your friends are undoubtedly having a blast today, you honestly don't mind your current situation - aside from feeling like your organs are being pulled out of your vagina, you hardly ever have days with zero obligations other than to just relax in whatever way you see fit. 

A strong knock on your door causes you to lose your place on the page. 

"You didn't give me a legitimate answer so I hope you like gnocchi, or eggplant parmesan, or traditional lasagna, or extra breadsticks..” 

“You know, it's not funny to joke about carbs to someone when they are–” 

You come to a stop in the middle of your sentence when you swing your door open to see him holding several plastic bags. An aroma of garlic and herbs hits you in the face. 

Oh. Not a joke, then. 

He extends one of the bags to you with his big, blue puppy dog eyes. You take it from him, opening the door further as an invitation to enter your bedroom. 

"Consider this a peace offering,” he says, placing the other bags of food on your bed and perching awkwardly on the edge of your mattress. You close the door behind you, walking back to where you had previously been lounging on the bed. 

“I'm sorry for being a smartass,” he adds more genuinely. “I just.. didn't like seeing you in pain. That's all.” 

“This is far from my first period,” you shrug, not meeting his stare. “You get used to it after a while. But consider yourself forgiven.” 

He gives you a small smile when you finally look up at him. He grabs a smaller bag that you hadn't noticed him carrying, one that is visibly less full than the others. He reaches inside, pulling out a small jar that he hands over to you. 

Your brows furrow as you inspect it closely. “CBD gummies?” You ask, your brows now raising quizzically. You open the jar, popping one of the pink, cube-shaped gummies into your mouth. “Watermelon flavored CBD gummies?” 

You notice the faintest trace of blush bloom across his cheeks. “I take them sometimes to help me sleep,” he starts, fiddling with some of the beading on your comforter. “But they can help with all different kinds of pain too, so I just thought you might like some.” 

You close the jar, placing it on your bedside table before reaching over and grabbing his flesh hand in yours. “Thank you, Bucky,” you say, giving his hand a squeeze and then releasing it. “Really. I appreciate all of this.” You try to ignore the jolt of electricity that buzzes through you when your skin comes in contact with his. His hand is both softer and warmer than you would have imagined. It brings you back to the last words that you spewed at him in the kitchen earlier. 

"A shit ton of pasta and CBD gummies,” you snort a laugh. “Would I be pushing my luck if I asked for that abdominal massage too?” You say it in a way that sounds halfway serious, halfway joking. 

“If that's what you want,” he says lowly, turning to angle his body towards you on the bed. “Then just say the word.” 

The air in your room suddenly feels suffocating. 

It is what you want - but you're at a loss for words. So instead of a verbal response, you scoot over to the middle of the bed, closer to where he sits on the opposite side. You lay down so that your back is flat against the mattress, your head propped up by a single pillow. 

Bucky's eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly wipes the look of astonishment from his features. He moves so that he's sitting directly next to your legs, giving him a proper angle to put his hands on your lower stomach. 

You're wearing the same sweatpants and tank top from earlier, having thrown the outfit back on after your shower. The loose sweatpants hang low enough to expose your hip bones and the edge of your underwear. 

The intimacy of the entire situation hits you the second that his hands make contact with your skin. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he murmurs, perhaps sensing your nerves. “Or if I do anything that doesn't feel good.” 

Your eyes shut instinctively at the polar opposite sensations of his flesh and vibranium hands. Skin and metal, fire and ice.

“I will,” you assure him. Your words come out breathier than intended. 

There's an immediate relief in your lower stomach as he rubs languid circles across your midriff. It's a feeling beyond pleasure as the cramps fade the more he touches you. 

His vibranium pinky dances along the waistband of your underwear, causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. You try to focus on the relief he's bringing you - not the fact that you're wearing a thin tank top that leaves so much of your skin on display, giving him a clear view of the goosebumps that he's caused. 

He continues with the precise motions until the pain in your abdomen has faded nearly entirely - you feel so good that you can't stop yourself from letting out the smallest moan when his flesh hand applies just the right amount of pressure near your pelvis. 

You know he heard it - there's no way he didn't. Just as you know there's no way that he doesn't notice your fully hardened nipples through the thin fabric of your tank top. 

You keep your eyes closed, terrified to meet his gaze in this state. You dread the moment that you feel his hands pull away from your skin. 

"You know,” he starts, his voice possessing a strained edge. “I don't think this is good enough for you.” 

Your eyes shoot open, looking at him in a nervous confusion. There's a glimmer in his eyes that you can't quite pinpoint - his stare trailing to your bedside table on the opposite side of you. “But I think I do know what could make you feel much better.” 

“What are you talking about?” Your voice quivers as you follow his stare. You're not sure what he's looking at - all that sits on your nightstand is the CBD gummies he had just given you, your Kindle, a few books, a bottle of lotion, and the Himalayan salt lamp that paints you both in an orange glow. 

He smirks before leaning across you - keeping his vibranium hand pressed firmly on your belly as he uses his flesh hand to pull open the drawer of the small table. 

“Hey! What are you–” but he retrieves the object he’s looking for before you can finish questioning him. You freeze at what he's holding in his hand. 

Your vibrator. Your glittery, lavender colored vibrator. 

“How the fuck did you–” 

“Do you think I can't hear you using this from across the hallway late at night?” He grins smugly. “That I can't hear your little whimpers when you think everyone's asleep?” 

Your face heats up a hundred degrees. You don't know whether to be infuriated or massively turned on. 

Both. You're definitely feeling a mix of both. 

He clicks the power button, turning on the device to its lowest setting. He watches you for a moment, giving you ample time to tell him to fuck off.

Instead, you once again relax against the pillow, your body going limp for him. You spread your legs the slightest bit. 

He takes this as his signal to proceed. Not taking his eyes off of your face, he trails the head of the wand from your lower stomach and over the fabric of your sweatpants until he reaches the apex of your thighs. Your nipples pucker once again, your thighs clenching around the tip of the vibrator. 

Bucky moves the device in a circular motion, making your back arch off the bed and your head tip back. 

How is it that it feels better when he massages you with it through your fucking pants than it does when you use it on your bare pussy? 

You hear the clicking of a button again, and the force of the vibration over your clothed cunt increases. You grind down on the device, desperate for friction. 

Bucky watches you with something akin to pride on his face. 

“You know how I told you to tell me if I do something you don't like?” He asks as he pushes the head of the wand directly down on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. 

“Yeah,” you answer - it comes out like a moan that you'd hear in a porno.

“Good girl,” he praises. “Remember that.” 

Before you can clear your head enough to wonder what he means, he's tugging up the cotton fabric of your tank top and exposing your breasts. 

You gasp at the sensation of the cool air blowing from the AC coming in contact with your already hard nipples. Bucky leans forward, keeping the vibrator on your core, and captures one of your nipples in his mouth. 

Your hand immediately goes to his hair, tugging the soft brown locks in your fingers to keep him in place. His free hand grasps your other breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. 

The combination of pleasure radiating from your pussy and his hand and mouth on you is fucking perfect. Fucking perfect, and all too much. 

You clench your thighs together, riding against the vibrator until you feel warmth spreading through your lower belly. 

“Oh my god, Bucky,” you moan - he groans when you say his name, the vibration sending you tumbling over the edge. You come hard, possibly harder than any other orgasm you've had in your life, thoroughly soaking your panties. 

When you've finished writhing beneath him, Bucky pulls back, removing both his mouth and the vibrator. He clicks the device off, tossing it towards the foot of your bed. 

You're panting, staring up at the ceiling, trying to process what the fuck just happened when you hear Bucky let out a low chuckle. 

Your eyes snap to him, finding that he looks thoroughly pleased with himself. 

"Can't say that's how I expected the day to go when I decided to sit this Coney Island trip out,” he sighs. 

“You can say that again.” You sit upright, bending your legs and crossing them at the ankles. You lean forward, tugging your shirt back into place before pulling one of the bags of food to you. 

"We should go sometime soon. Together,” you add, somewhat nervously. You aren't sure why - the guy just gave you the best orgasm of your life (and barely even touched you). 

“Are you asking me on a date?” that sly smile reappears. 

You shrug. “Yeah, I suppose I am.” 

"Then my answer is yes. But only if you share some of this food with me.” 

♡♡♡♡♡

my masterlist

thanks so much for reading!!! can anyone tell that i really fucking love food by how often i incorporate it into my writing? 😅

[yanderes-galore]

What about a platonic yandere Aegon II with a daughter!reader after B+C?

Fell in love with this idea ON. SIGHT. Broke my own rules on this, my bad. I don't usually do young darlings, but for this it made the most sense. Don't expect stuff like this all the time... but I love the idea of Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond being platonic yanderes to Aegon's Daughter. Unfortunately no Daeron as he's not around during this period.

❗️SPOILERS FOR HOTD SEASON 2❗️

Yandere! Platonic! Aegon II with Daughter! Darling

(FT. Helaena + Aemond - Aftermath of Blood + Cheese)

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Child death/Murder, Blood, Manipulation, Fear of loss, Isolation, Mature language, Targcest (Aegon/Helaena), Medieval gender roles, Toxic family dynamics, Forced companionship.

First of all, let's talk about who you are.

In terms of being Aegon's daughter...

You could be one of his legitimate heirs with Helaena.

That or maybe you could be a bastard from one of his many flings. Perhaps one who later became a cupbearer for him?

Regardless of how... Aegon gets horrible after the death of Jaehaerys.

Before the assassination, Aegon isn't... very invested.

He's paying more attention to his first son, hyping Jaehaerys up as his heir.

He cares for you, but not as much as his first son.

He keeps an eye on you yet you're often with Helaena.

Helaena takes good care of you... even if your father is often busy.

You're well cared for, even as a bastard Helaena doesn't wish to leave you on your own.

Perhaps, as a dreamer/seer, she senses your fate beside Aegon and wants to aid you through it.

Your life is... decent within the Red Keep one way or another.

Things only really go downhill when the Blood + Cheese incident occurs.

Jaehaerys is murdered in the night due to assassins sent by Daemon.

The news is devastating.

Helaena spent the whole night with her mother, holding her remaining children and you in her arms.

You're older than the babe(s) when it all happens, perhaps a young kid (To make it make sense, you can probably age the characters up from canon)

In the morning... your father is furious.

Aegon's screaming at anyone he sees.

Maids, servants, the Small Council, his knights...

Anyone.

Aegon screams about Rhaenyra and her side killing his heir.

One would not think he is a man close to his children.

He only seemed to like Jaehaerys because he was a male heir.

That's what you thought, at least.

Until Aegon kept coming to your chambers.

You were often with Helaena before and after the death of your sibling.

So you were not expecting to see Aegon come in to pester you.

You are his by blood, you are his eldest daughter.

Aegon himself didn't realize how... affected he was.

He didn't know how grateful he was to have you until his son was murdered.

Aegon is a man doomed to lose all of his children in the end.

Perhaps even you.

Helaena knows this well and is worried when Aegon shows a sudden interest in you.

Aegon would get noticeably more... protective of you as his daughter.

He may have no eldest son now, but you're still one of his eldest.

He never lets you out of his sight after the death of Jaehaerys.

Helaena often asks he leaves you alone, but the king never does.

"Oh please, wife... let me see her. I won't cause her any harm."

Aegon drags you to Small Council meetings and shows you to Sunfyre.

He's paranoid yet proud of you, his eldest daughter.

He isn't affectionate at first.

But when Jaehaerys dies, he's suffocating.

The king, your father, holds you close.

During Small Council meetings, he has you right beside him or in his lap.

When his Council asks him to leave you with Helaena, Aegon blatantly refuses.

"Far as you're concerned, this is my daughter and she has the right to sit here."

Aegon would not allow betrothals.

That's one thing both he and Helaena can agree on when it comes to you.

You mean too much to him to be married off.

Even when you're of age he dismisses the thought.

Aemond is no doubt appointed as your bodyguard.

He doesn't trust Ser Criston Cole, said man did nothing when his son died.

Even if you are a woman, Aegon raises you like you're his next heir.

Maelor, his other son, is too young for now.

So, for now, you are his main heir.

If anything threatened you, Aegon is not waiting.

He will order Aemond hunt them down.

That is unless he can kill them himself.

You aren't even really allowed to play with Jaehaera or Maelor at times.

You miss your time with Helaena, your mother...

Now all you really see is your uncle Aemond or your father Aegon.

Sometimes you see your grandmother, Alicent, but Aegon isn't keen on it.

It's strange how Aegon goes from indifferent to obsessive about you.

He sits by you all the time, giving you books and often ordering Aemond to look after you.

Aemond would much rather patrol King's Landing with Vhagar... but he adores holding you in his arms so he can't complain.

Aemond may sneak swordsmanship in to teach you in private, even if you are a lady.

Aegon is irritated about it, but soon allows it.

You must be a strong queen... give Rhaenyra a run for her gold...

A way you could get Daeron involved in this is maybe you get to write him ravens while he's out being a squire.

I know this is primarily meant to be Aegon... but I feel at least most of the other Greens would be involved.

Aegon knows you should have a dragon... yet he hates the idea of something going wrong.

Sure, you get along with Sunfyre... he won't even let you near Vhagar... and Dreamfyre is rarely even with her rider...

You'd be fine with a hatchling of your own... but Aegon would be extra careful when giving you one.

He's already lost his first heir, you aren't dying too.

He's so nervous about losing you.

Even more so when he gets burned in battle.

While he's in pain on his bed, he doesn't stop asking about you once he's coherent.

You're left in Helaena and Aemond's care... but often are sent to visit the burned king.

Aemond doesn't see you as a threat to the throne.

In fact there's times he treats you like his own daughter, teaching you High Valyrian... a language Aegon isn't very proficient in.

Helaena is often showing you insects and singing to you as she holds you close.

When you visit Aegon he is adamant on you cuddling up to his good side, holding you close as he hisses in pain.

His body may be broken at this point... but he loves you dearly.

You are his little princess, his little future queen, he's sure of that.

Even in his bed, burned and helpless, he'll keep you safe...

Helaena and Aemond love you too, after all, not a soul will touch you with The Greens.

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 3 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley just wants to make you as happy as you make him, and he hates it when you won't even let him try. But when your frustration boils over, you snap at the person you believe deserves it the most.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing

Length: 4200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

You had been foolishly holding out hope. Until your period actually began, you'd been telling yourself that maybe there was still a chance. Maybe you had just taken the pregnancy test too early. Maybe you got a false negative.

So when you woke up for work on Monday and needed a tampon, you scolded yourself for your optimism. There was no point in it, because it only made you feel worse in the long-run. 

Bradley rubbed your shoulders and kissed your neck as you put your contacts in at the bathroom vanity. You looked gross. You were bloated, and your face was broken out. You vowed to stick to a better diet until you lost some weight. 

"Morning, Baby Girl," he murmured against your ear. It wasn't even fair. You wanted him all the time. He was perfect all the time. His voice gave you chills. 

"Morning," you whispered. "My period started." Your voice shook pathetically. 

"It's okay," he promised. "It's going to be okay." 

But you really felt like it wasn't. And work was pissing you off. When you got to your lab, you remembered that you and Cat were going to be spending the day working on proposals together. Great. 

"Did you have fun at the Hard Deck?" you asked her, practically throwing your computer onto the counter next to hers. 

She looked up at you, and you could tell she wanted to roll her eyes. "It was fun," she replied. "Not really my scene, but I can see where it would be yours."

You wanted to ask her what that was supposed to mean, but you bit your tongue. You wouldn't give her the satisfaction of thinking you cared about her opinion of you. And you were definitely going to have to tell Jake to get a crush on a hot looking woman who was actually nice, because you'd had just about enough of this. He had bugged you all night at the bar to introduce him to Cat again. He asked you about her all the time, but there was nothing to tell.

You took a seat and pounded away at your keyboard, working all morning while trying to ignore your cramps and your irritation with the woman next to you. Neither of you spoke a word about anything personal. It was all professional. When you noticed that it was noon, you said, "Let's take a break," in as bright a voice as you could.

Jake was waiting in the doorway for you. Or maybe he was just trying to catch a glimpse of Cat. But regardless, when you approached him, he smiled and handed you a container of soup from the cafeteria. "Angel. Let's eat in your office," he drawled. And when Cat breezed past him, he murmured, "Hi, Lieutenant Coleman."

She smirked in response, and Jake turned to watch her walk the entire way down the hall. "You're such a dog," you told him, inspecting the soup and finding it was chicken noodle. "You just need to get laid. Go to the bar tonight. There'll be a line of girls waiting for you."

He met your eyes and shook his head. "I'm not really doing that anymore."

You snorted as he followed you to your office. "Could you imagine if I agreed to go out with you? Bradley and I would have never happened after that."

Jake kicked his booted foot along your office floor before he plopped down into your extra chair. "Yeah, well... he'd have likely killed me if we went out. But, hey, you're not listening to me, Angel. Tell me more about Cat Coleman."

You sighed and ate some soup. "She's mean to me, okay? She doesn't like me."

"I don't believe you."

"It's true. She's so bitchy to me but nice to everyone else. She makes fun of the way I work. She won't eat lunch with me. She avoids me all the time. She hates me."

You swallowed another spoonful of soup, and tears immediately sprung to your eyes. You looked up at Jake, and you knew he could tell something was wrong immediately. When he jumped to his feet, you tried to wave him off, but he was kneeling next to your chair and rubbing your hand before you knew it. 

"What happened?" he asked softly. When you didn't respond, he gave you a few seconds before asking, "Do you want me to go get Rooster?"

"No," you croaked, your throat burning with the effort to talk. "I'm fine."

"You do not sound fine. You can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Right."

"Well, I'm all ears."

And he just knelt there next to you while you told him how much you hated going to your lab now. And you told him that you had your period. And then you said, "Bradley and I are trying to start a family, but it's just not happening."

"Hey," he said, letting you cry it out. "You and Bradley are already a family. Plus, you've got Tramp. And Nat and I are like siblings you guys never even wanted."

You kind of shrugged at him. "It's not the same thing."

"I know that, but sometimes it takes time," he told you.

"It's been four months," you whispered. 

Jake stood up and pulled you to your feet, and then he wrapped you in a hug so tight, his name tag was digging into your collarbone. "Just give it some time. You want me to talk to Rooster?"

"No. Let's just finish eating lunch."

-----------------------

Bradley had been trying all week. Kissing along your neck and rubbing your hips through your khakis while you made dinner. But you finally snapped at him on Wednesday night when you were trying to cut up some sun dried tomatoes for the Marry Me Rooster he had requested. 

"I'm trying to cook dinner, Bradley. Yes, I realize you're trying to get me in the mood. Yes, I can feel your erection. No, I don't want to have sex. I look gross, and I feel gross." You set down your knife and turned to face him. He had taken one huge step away from you, and now he was looking at you with the saddest brown eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he muttered, running his fingers through his hair as he walked down the hallway toward your bedroom. 

"Shit," you whispered as you rushed after him. "I'm sorry."

He was standing next to the bed unbuttoning his uniform shirt when you walked in and headed right for him. But he didn't say anything, just yanked his shirt off and tossed it onto the bed. The sight of him in his khaki pants and black undershirt had you sucking in a deep breath. It wasn't that you didn't want him. You just didn't even want yourself right now.

"Bradley," you whispered. 

"Nah. I'm going to go workout in the garage," he told you, stripping out of his pants and digging in a drawer for some gym shorts. "I'll eat later. Don't wait for me."

You watched him walk back out of the room. Then he called for Tramp, and you heard the sliding glass door open and then close. You went back to the kitchen and finished making dinner. You had to fight the urge to go out to the garage and get Bradley, because somehow you knew you'd just end up making things worse. You made him a beautiful plate of dinner and left it on the island. And then you got yourself ready for bed. You were no longer hungry. 

------------------------

Bradley was stressing out. He could feel his composure crumbling as every maneuver he performed in the air was wrong. Everything felt wrong. It was like he and his Super Hornet were out of sync. Like he couldn't trust himself. 

"What are you doing, Rooster?" Phoenix asked him through the comms. But Bradley didn't even know how to respond, because he hadn't been paying attention. He was distracted. He was never like this in the air. 

And then he heard Maverick call his team back to the ground, and he knew it was his fault. He wished he could take all of the pushups for Phoenix and Bob as well, but it was a team effort after all. So Bradley had to try to keep calm while he could feel them glaring at him through all two hundred pushups.

He had been like this all week. Nothing made as much sense to him as flying did. Well, other than you. But things had been a little rough and unpredictable at home. He wasn't really trying to do it, but he had begun to memorize when you were ovulating and when your period was due. Fucking you was no chore, but he was absolutely ready for you to miss a period. He was obsessed with the idea of you showing him a positive pregnancy test. But it just... wasn't happening yet.

And now he was putting pressure on himself. Because he knew he was a ticking time bomb. He felt it in his bones. Any day now, he would be getting deployment papers. And then you would be alone for who knows how long. Weeks or months. Bradley would be on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific Ocean, and you would be at home, worrying about him. And the mission to make a baby would be put on hold, replaced by a different kind of mission.

The thing was, all of this was bothering him a hell of a lot more now, because it was bothering you so much. 

Bradley slammed his locker closed only to find Jake standing there. "You better pull it together, Bradshaw," he said so calmly that it pissed Bradley off even more. "Or you're going to get grounded."

"Do you think I don't know that?" Bradley asked, getting in his face. "Do you think I don't know I'm flying like shit right now?"

But Jake didn't move an inch, and his expression didn't change. "I think whatever is bothering you... well, you should take it home to your wife. Angel will help you feel better."

Bradley took a deep breath and let it out slowly, leaning against his locker with his fist clenched. "She's part of the fucking problem," Bradley growled, and he watched Jake's eyes grow wide. 

Jake gaped at him before he said, "I can't think of a single time you've ever said something like that about her." His feelings seemed to be hurt on your behalf, but Bradley didn't know how to explain how he felt. 

"When she puts pressure on herself, all I want is to relieve it for her," he told Jake softly, trying to unclench his fist. "But I can't. She won't let me."

Jake sighed. "I think I know what it's about. She's been pretty upset. Tried to tell her it's not her fault, but I can tell she's blaming herself."

Bradley could feel his cheeks flushing. You and Jake were close. The other man probably did know some details about your intimate moments with Bradley which was kind of mortifying. However, Bradley would never want you to feel like you couldn't confide in someone you trusted. It was just hard to gasp that Jake was oftentimes that person for you. 

"We just want to have a baby," Bradley growled. 

"It's only been a few months," Jake reminded him. "Deep down, Angel knows it takes time."

Bradley looked up at the flickering fluorescent bulb. "Sometimes I feel like I'm never doing enough for her," he whispered, grabbing his bag and brushing past Jake. 

But he almost ran into Payback on his way out. "What are you still doing here, man?" he asked with a grin. "If I had a girl as hot as your wife, I'd be home by now, pumping her full of babies."

The urge to punch his friend directly in the face was so strong, Bradley had to bite his lip and keep moving. He needed to get home to you but not take this out on you. That would be unacceptable. Because while you were adding to his stress, he would never tell you that. 

You were already home when he walked inside, and Bradley had to try to fight for composure. "Hi," he managed to say. Of course you looked impossibly cute, laying with Tramp on the couch in Bradley's oversized UVA tee and a pair of his boxer briefs. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to keep his hands off you right now, but you'd been distant with him for more than a week. 

"How was your day?" you asked him softly.

Somehow your sweet voice just made him angry. Your voice and your gorgeous face and the way he could see your nipples through the shirt. And Bradley couldn't help himself. His voice was rough to his own ears, and he sounded mad. "My day fucking sucked. It was terrible," he growled. "I flew like an asshole. I got everyone assigned to pushups. I was so distracted from work, thinking about you."

Your eyes were wide as you sat up. "Thinking about me?" Tramp jumped to the floor and ran over to sniff at Bradley's boots as he untied them. 

"Yeah," he grunted, wrestling out of his flight suit and tossing it to a heap on the floor. His skin felt too hot. He needed to go for a run or lift weights. "I told you I think about you all the damn time. And today, trust me, I wish I hadn't been."

"What does that mean?" you asked him, standing up between the couch and the coffee table, your lips forming a little pout. 

Bradley yanked his undershirt off as well, standing just inside the front door in only his compression shorts and his socks. "It means I'm mad because you won't let me try to make you feel better! You don't even want to talk to me, but you'll talk to Jake! I'm fucking pissed that you're skipping meals and ditching me for lunch every day!"

Bradley took off toward the bedroom, leaving you behind. He was afraid of what else he was going to say if he didn't get some space to himself right now. And the last thing he wanted to do was make you cry. But when he got into the bedroom to get some workout clothes, you followed him. 

"I'm sorry," you whispered, biting your lip and looking at him with wide eyes.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked loudly, slamming his drawer shut instead of actually pulling anything out of it. "Tell me."

"I'm sorry I've been shutting you out, Roo." You took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry I haven't been eating lunch with you. I know we can keep trying, but when I get my period now, I panic."

"You panic and talk to Jake," Bradley growled. When you simply nodded, his blood boiled. He knew he was red in the face as he closed the distance to you. The words were there before he could take them back. "If you want to talk to Jake all the time, maybe you should have married him."

Your lips parted soundlessly, and then you moaned. A needy sound, from the back of your throat. One that had Bradley's cock stirring immediately. 

"I don't want him. I've never wanted him. I just want you."

"Do you want me right now, Baby Girl? Because I wanna fuck you right here," he said as calmly as he could, but his voice was still gruff and unsteady. "You're going to have to tell me to go out back to the garage if you want me to keep my hands to myself. Okay? Because I want my wife. But I will settle for my hand and then the bench press if you don't want me back."

You whimpered, reaching for the hem of the tee shirt and guiding it up over your hips. "I am so turned on," you whispered. "Please."

"Please what?" Bradley demanded, running his hand along his cock through his shorts. 

"Daddy," you gasped in shock. Like you couldn't even believe you said it to him. Like you needed him as badly as he needed you. "Fuck me."

"Baby Girl," he whispered harshly as he pressed himself against you.

You yanked the shirt over your head and pulled his boxer briefs down over your delicious hips as you moaned, "I want my husband."

His cock was fully at attention now as he stroked your dainty Rooster tattoo with his fingertips. "I'm right here," he growled, watching you step out of his underwear and kick them aside. Your eyes were wide and fixed on his as you stood naked before him. "You gonna let me take care of you?"

"Yes," you gasped when he moved his hand to your pussy. "Are you still angry, Daddy? From your bad day?"

Bradley raised one eyebrow. He knew how he sounded. He knew he was breathing heavily. He also felt how fucking wet you were as he slid his middle finger along your slit. 

"Do you want me to be?" he asked before placing a rough kiss to your lips. 

"Yes," you moaned, and in one swift movement, Bradley had the front of your body pressed up against the wall next to the bedroom door. You squealed and braced yourself with both hands as he gently kicked your legs a little further apart. 

"You like making me this way?" he growled next to your ear before sucking hard on your neck. "I think you do."

Bradley reached his hands up to squeeze your tits as you whined his name. He stroked your nipples softly with his thumbs while he sucked on your neck some more. 

Then he took his cock in his right hand and guided himself to your opening. He filled you in one swift motion, and started fucking you so hard, your face almost hit the wall. He caught you with his hand on your jaw as you whimpered for him. 

"You think it's fun to get me all pissed off at work?" he asked, low and soft. "You love having so much control over me, don't you?"

"I do," you whispered as he turned your face so you were looking at him over your shoulder. 

"You love knowing I think about your voice during lectures. Think about your body when I'm flying. I can't stop thinking about how much I love fucking you," he said, his voice getting louder as he pressed his forehead against your perfect cheek and brushed his fingers over your tattoo before stroking your clit.

You cried out for him. "I do, Daddy! I love it!"

Bradley was determined to get you off. He wouldn't have a repeat of the dining room floor. Not today. He went a little harder, a little deeper. He listened to the incoherent words tumbling out of your mouth. And then he said, "Try and find someone better than me. Someone else who can fuck you this good. You can't."

"No!" you grunted, your fingers bending, nails digging into the wall. You were struggling to look at him as your eyes fluttered closed. 

He kissed along your jaw before ending at your ear and whispering, "I love you." And then he felt it. That beautiful clench of your pussy as you came for him. He knew the feel of you so well. He wanted to take care of everything for you. He needed to give you everything you wanted. Be everything you needed. 

He came for you too, hands drifting to your hips as his movements slowed. You were unsteady on your feet as you turned to face him. Bradley's cum was dripping down your legs and onto the floor as you reached for him. Then you were in his arms, kissing him just right with your fingers in his hair. And he couldn't remember why he'd been upset in the first place. 

"I love you," you whispered against his lips. Bradley stumbled back onto the bed with you wrapped up with him. When he fell back with you on top of him, you laughed. 

"Come here," he coaxed, and you straddled his waist and kissed him until your lips were puffy. When he tried to move, you held him down and kissed him some more. He felt himself relax completely with every little sound you made and every swipe of your tongue against his. 

"Roo," you crooned, your lips moving to his neck and kissing him softly there.

He groaned and started to sit up. "What's it called when the foreplay comes after sex?"

You giggled. "Post play?"

"Shit, Sweetheart," he said, letting you keep going with your lips. "You want more?"

"Mmhmm," you hummed against his skin, setting his nerve endings ablaze. 

"Give me a minute, and I'll take care of you again."

--------------------

You were sore on Monday morning. In the best kind of way. You and Bradley had spent the weekend talking and having sex. And then having more sex. Only taking a break to go grocery shopping and swing by the Hard Deck. Jake knew right away that you were both feeling much better. He was always so patient with you that you found it hard not to smile when he bought you and Bradley beers. 

You needed to be more open with Bradley. And you would be. And starting today, you'd meet him and Nat in the cafeteria unless you really were honestly working through lunch instead of hiding in your office. You just needed to get through your morning with Cat. Which was easier said than done.

She gave you short answers to every question. When you asked her to type up some of the notes you wrote, she looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "Shouldn't you have typed this up yourself?"

You sighed. "I worked it up over the weekend. In my free time. I read it to my husband as I wrote it, and it seemed to flow easier when I wrote it."

She scrutinized your notebook. "Well I can barely read it. I'll work in the code while you type it up. I'm better at the code anyway."

Was she implying she was better at coding than typing? Or that she was better at coding than you were? She made you so mad. The next time Jake mentioned how beautiful her eyes were, you were going to pummel him. 

Everyone else had already deserted the lab when you realized what time it was. "Should we take a lunch break?" you asked, scrambling to lock up your computer. Bradley and the others were probably waiting for you already. You did not want to disappoint him today. Not after such a perfect weekend. 

"Fine," Cat agreed. Her tone was short, like you were throwing off her entire day by deciding to take lunch at lunchtime. 

You squared your shoulders and turned to face her as she stood up. Then you blurted out, "I don't understand what I did to make you dislike me."

Cat froze in place, her eyes appraising your face. You felt the prickle of embarrassment along your skin, and you were afraid she was going to laugh in your face. But she just shook her head slowly. "I don't dislike you."

"Yes, you do," you scoffed, your embarrassment swiftly replaced with annoyance. 

"No, Lieutenant Commander. I do not," she said, firmly closing her computer. Then she went off, and you didn't stop her. "But your life is so perfect, it's honestly hard for me to relate to you. Even at work. Your husband dotes on you. He's always in the lab, bringing you snacks and asking you about your day. You've got Seresin in here all the time, too. And you're the golden child. Bickel sings your praises at the meetings every week."

Your eyes were bugging out. "But, that's not-"

She cut you off and kept going. "You and I both have the same master's degree, but I'm a year older than you, and you outrank me." Her voice sounded bitter as she said, "I'm a single mom. My life is a mess. I'm broke. We live with my uncle. I feel like a joke all the time. But your life is perfect. And trust me, I wish more than anyone else that I wasn't jealous of you." 

You stood completely still and watched her walk out of the lab and disappear down the hallway. Your life was not perfect. The fact that it maybe looked that way to someone else shocked you. Cat thought she was a mess. Well, you were a mess, too. But she was a mom. 

A moment later, you followed her down the hallway toward the cafeteria where Bradley was waiting for you with a smile on his face and a bottle of your favorite hot sauce on his tray.

-------------------------

Oh. Cat's a little jelly of BG. Well, Cat... BG just might be a little jelly of you. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 4

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

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[sugar-grigri]

What is a family?

Hello everyone, I'm in exam period so we're going to start with a very short analysis

We saw in the previous analysis, in chapter 152, that Denji wanted to be a CSM and that suffering, mental and physical pain, was inherent to being a CSM. Suffering was a claim for the protagonist, that of accepting his suffering to the point of finding pleasure in it, that of accepting that experiences can be painful, of not being protected

Especially by Nayuta, the control devil who can only conceive of happiness with one person, and that's enough for her.

But above all, I think that since Denji had accepted the fact of committing himself to the path of suffering, he didn't want Nayuta to join him, hence his desire to keep her away from him.

But what this chapter shows is that a family can't be chosen, it's simply there.

People do what they do, always projecting all their frustrations onto CSM, this faceless chimera. CSM is as much a good-luck charm as a match to be burned for bad luck.

Denji's dream of being seen was full of meaning, because what people see in CSM is precisely their suffering and despair.

Yes, CSM represents suffering - yes, you have to suffer to be him, just as he will only evoke suffering for others.

The contract with the fire demon was simple: become what you want. As he had suggested to Yuko, the thought-hearing monster was suitable for a socially eccentric girl who had trouble understanding others.

So when people try to burn CSM, they're burning what they want CSM to be: their suffering.

The lighter was an image that had already been introduced by Barem, who ironically presented himself as a CSM fan, foreshadowing the fact that many CSM fans had pacted with the demon of fire, fire capable of destroying them in return.

Burning CSM to make the wannabe CSM disappear always comes down to the same logic: CSM is there to save, whether this is done by reigniting him or by killing him.

So the fire is there to atone for the suffering, Denji simply tries to tell them that the fire is already there, burning down his apartment and his Meowy family and the dogs.

Why burn Denji? When he's already burning. He has already lost a part of himself.

Denji proclaims that he seeks suffering because he wants it to be his alone. He realised that even if he stopped being a CSM, those close to him would continue to be attacked as if the cycle had never been completed.

Denji has never had any confidence in himself, obediently following the rules laid down for him every time. Nayuta's rules, which symbolise this apartment, didn't work, and neither did those of the public hunters, because even if you respect the contract, suffering will always be the end result.

So Denji tries to free himself from all these rules, because they don't allow him to escape suffering.

He also tries to free himself from his loved ones, because it doesn't allow them to escape either, but humanity won't let Denji be free.

Denji had made it clear that he didn't want to hurt mankind because he wanted to preserve the last link that bound him to them: the kiss he had with Asa (Yoru). He doesn't want to belong fully to the demons, as Nayuta had recommended, but why not become one after all?

Denji loves violence, even against humans. He likes it because he is still CSM after all, a monster whose raison d'être is suffering. Yet the link that allows him to consider himself still on the other side is a simple kiss that didn't cause him any pain.

Because this kiss is exactly Denji's life, a touch of pleasure in an existence that is always painful. A boy who can't even say he can't betray humanity because he has friends because he has none.

Nayuta has never thought of her existence as separate from Denji's, the reason for her happiness, her beloved big brother. So she is now facing her worst fear: being cut off from this dearest of beings, being rejected by him.

But as they try to keep her away from her ailing brother, telling her he's no longer her family, she realises that this thing that rejects her, that hurts himself horribly, is still her family.

More to the point, it's the person behind this faceless monster who's reaching out to him, because CSM isn't a being capable of embracing with his chainsaws. Denji's arms are outstretched to him, as if he's standing between CSM behaving like a monster and his own anxieties: there's an obvious love there. She shouldn't see her fear in the foreground, what she should see is Denji.

This thing that dares to cut ties with her, to put itself in danger to the point of suffering so much, has never ceased to be her family.

The only way to see anything apart from CSM, apart from this figure of suffering, is to love Denji.

is to see the boy behind it.

A boy who can't stop laughing despite suffering, in a way that may be terrifying, but which gradually gives the impression of a brother forcing himself to smile to avoid putting his sister in danger. Look, I'm crazy, so stay away from me! And I don't want you anyway!

His laughter is as uncontrolled as his gestures, all acting as reflexes to keep Nayuta away from danger.

CSM is a being who belongs to neither world, hero of humanity when it suits them, hero of the underworld terrified by his fellow creatures, he is held responsible for both worlds, the suffering of demons and that of men.

But Denji may not belong to either world, but he does belong to a family.

Denji may not be seen by people, but he has been seen by a demon who loves him deeply.

The hero has always been hunted because he has never been accepted by humanity, suffering while swallowing that of others, he has always had to be rekindled, to serve someone once again.

And finally he's given permission to run away.

No CSM, don't swallow the suffering of others

It's hard enough to swallow your own.

Denji, you are loved by the demon of control who now agrees to do something unnatural for her, to allow you to escape her control, her vigilance, her protection. Because she knows she doesn't have to lock you up in a gilded cage to be able to find you.

A family always waits with open arms, don't they?

[toji-fushiguro-is-broke]

Toji meeting your parents

Toji meeting your parents

He didn't want to meet your parents, he didn't even want to think about it.

Just like any kind of boyfriend, He felt tensed and nervous about it.

Ever since you brought that topic, he kept telling you he was busy with missions.

He made sure that his missions collided with the days your parents either visit or when you bring up him meeting your parents.

He knew for sure your parents would never like him, he's a old man who gambles and kills people. AND he lives in the streets before he moved in with you into your apartment.

After some time you noticed that Toji had really become avoidant about the topic of meeting your parents, you wanted to talk to him.

"Toji, Can we talk?" You spoke as he froze in his spot, It can only mean one thing to Toji.

And that is headaches, He hates talks like these it stresses him out.

He sighed as he followed you to the bedroom.

"Toji-" "Yeah, I don't wanna meet em." He interrupeted you.

"Why?" You asked, "You know why." He replied.

You sighed, "Don't be like that Toji"

"But, I am like this." He said

"Toji, I'm the one with you, not my parents I love you for who you are. The reason why I want to introduce you to them is because, I want my parents to meet the man I love. And even if they don't like you, I do and I don't care what they say, If it makes you uncomfortable I understand it, I won't force you." You said as you hugged him.

"No one can stop me from loving you." You whispered to him as you kissed him goodnight.

After that talk Toji stayed awake that entire night thinking about your words, it gave him a huge headache.

No one, had accepted him for who he is except you and his ex wife. He knew he was hard to love, especially since he doesn't know how to recieprocate any kinds of feelings except anger and contempt.

He still doesn't know how to stomach having a relationship with you.

But your words got him thinking, after a few weeks, he had thought about it.

"I'll do it." He spoke while he was eating his breakfast.

"Do what?" You questioned him as you think of the things he might mean, then it hits you.

"You'll meet my parents?" You smiled in glee.

"Yeah, don't expect me to be nice and shit, or them to like me. Because clearly you know who I am." He said as he continues to eat.

The day came, where he's about to meet your parents.

He tried fixing himself, he bathed, brushed his teeth, changed into acceptable clothes and then he hid his weapons.

He was anxiously waiting inside your apartment feeling tensed, sweating.

"Fuck this is harder than killing Special grade curses and sorcerers." he grumbles as he heard the door knob open.

He felt his heart sank as he stood up walking to the door as you introduced your parents he stood quiet.

You all sat down at the dining table as your parents introduced themselves.

"Toji Fushiguro..." He introduced himself

Your parents didn't think much about it, since you already told them about him so your parents were adjusting in this case.

"So Toji, I'm happy you've met our daughter, we've never thought she'd find someone." Your mother joked.

"She was rotting on our basement for long as I've remembered" Your Father added.

"Mama! Papa!" You yelled

"What? It's true." Your mom said as you all laughed.

Your parents didn't need to know anything more about Toji. They already heard alot from you.

You were already old enough to make your own decisions and they're just there to guide you whenever you need them.

Toji was shocked that your parents weren't disgusted at him.

Your parents told stories about you to Toji so Toji would ease himself with them.

Which ends up you being embarrassed, you knew that Toji would tease you all about it later. But you were happy that you noticed that Toji was being at ease.

You stood up and excused yourself at the bathroom.

Toji knew that there might be a confrontation in this period, since you weren't here anymore.

"Toji let me be frank, I don't know who you are or where you came from. All I know is that you make our child happy, that's what matters, but hurt her you'll regret it I promise you that." Your Father said

After that you came back.

The meeting went well as you exhaled sitting on the living room clearly tired.

"I hope they didn't give you a hard time." You said as you looked at him.

"It went better than I expected." Toji said

"Why do you think so?" You curiously asked him.

"Met my ex wife's parents, didn't go well. Her parents asked lots of shit. They found out that I'm a piece of garbage not fit for their daughter. They wanted us to break up." He said as he was pouring water on a glass.

To be honest, it also went unexpected on your side as well. Usually your parents would also interrogate.

But you knew they'd understand you and your decisions because you were already an adult and you were thankful for that.

But it was probably because you've already told your parents about him.

*Flash back*

"Mom, I love him. I know you think that he isn't good for me, But I don't care I'm a grown adult who can make her own decisions."

*End of Flash back*

You and your parents argued alot about Toji that made you really stressed out that you had to drink meds.

But you didn't care, you'll stand your ground.

[liquidpaperdraws]

@lawlightweek2024 day 7: AU

!! I do not support JKR, which is why I enjoy Harry Potter exclusively through fan content and other means that don't put any more money in her pockets !!

That being said, this idea has been kicking around in the back of my head for months.

I'm honestly surprised almost nobody has done this crossover. I looked it up and there's maybe 7 or 8 fanfics and 12 pieces of fanart on all of tumblr, deviantart, fanfiction.net, and ao3 in total that combine Death Note and Harry Potter. It seems like it should be a more popular AU considering the overlap in time period and target demographic.

Alright, now here are some headcanons:

Light:

5th year

Was supposed to go to Slytherin, but convinced the sorting hat to put him in Gryffindor instead (that's where his father went, after all)

Gryffindor's token Evil Friend™

Wants to eliminate the death eaters and all dark wizards by any means necessary (as well as anyone who looks at him funny)

Is against unforgivable curses except when he uses them, because he totally has good reasons you guys

Nearly was able to get all three deathly hallows for himself

Avada kedavra avada kedavra avada kedavra

Good at persuasion, memory charms, and making polyjuice potion

Keeps killing so many others who are also trying to fight Voldemort for not being willing to murder as much as he is

Created the Death Note himself so he wouldn't have to keep spamming avada kedavra

L:

7th year

The sorting hat had a hard time deciding, but eventually picked Ravenclaw

He was disappointed (he wanted to be in Hufflepuff for the snacks)

Master of mind-reading, invisibility, divination

Possible werewolf

kept breaking the dress code by "forgetting" his socks, sweater, and shoes so he mastered illusion spells solely for the purpose of cloaking it look like he was wearing the uniform correctly and not getting in trouble

frequently uses duplication charms on cake so he can eat more of it without eating more calories

Doesn't talk to anyone but somehow knows all their secrets (he was spying on them using an invisibility cloak, crystal ball, etc)

His parents are unknown and dead so nobody knows how to be blood-racist to him

Lawlight:

L and Light constantly try to one up each other at wizard chess supposedly to show their superiority but really it's to impress each other

L got his hands on an invisibility cloak so he could follow Light around and spy on him but Light used the marauders map to figure out that L was following him

they won't admit their feelings for each other

Light started dating Misa (Hufflepuff) to beat the gay allegations but she realized what he was doing and decided to slip him a love potion to force him to love her back. L was the only person who noticed and begrudgingly decided to help Light by reporting her. Light confessed his feelings for L after that.

[mochinomnoms]

Sequel to my "Best (human) boy for periods" ranking; here comes the worsties (Affectionate)

Ace - Ultimate teenage boy(tm), is gonna make a big stink and fuss over how he doesn't wanna hear about you being on or think about it. "No poops, no farts, no periods"! kinda guy. He'll get better when he's older but in your first year as friends? He's gonna tease and antagonise you. If you're the emotional type when you'er on, you can turn the tables on him by crying and getting the whole class to go "Wow, what an asshole" at him for the rest of the week tho.

Vil - This guy holes everyone to the same standards as him, fully believing everyone can give 110% at all times. He's gonna come at you about how just because you're on the rag doesn't mean you can start snacking on chocolate bars all the time (or any comfort food). He WILL critique your skincare routine if your skin breaks out. One day he'll look back at how he treated you and thank Rook for literally carrying him away from you before you killed him.

Epel - Not really his fault, but considering his "old fashioned" upbringing, things like periods were just Not Discussed, even between the women in his family, so Epel's first reaction to learning that you're on is just a sound "I didn't hear that" slowly evolving into a "Why tf are you telling me this?" (Because I bled through my trousers and can't get up from this chair Epel, jeez). Just will not engage with the subject at hand.

Deuce - More of an inbetween than actually the worst(tm), he earns a lot of brownie points for wanting to help you and is the type to panic buy every item on the shelf. BUT! if you're the type to get moody or aggressive when you're on, he's instinctively gonna meet aggression with aggression and you two will have to be seperated for a while.

Idia - Just straight up wont deal with it, he'll send Ortho to help you. Best you're gonna get from this guy is a "RIP LMAO" when you text him that you're on :(

Honorable mention: Silver. Not his fault either, but being raised in a predominantly fairy based family unit, periods are an alien concept to him. Won't really understand what's going on when you try to explain it to him, and with Lilia as his main guide, is gonna make a LOT of mistakes before he gets things right but he get's a lot of points for trying to help. Might even use his UM to see into your dreams/memories to get a feel for what it's like, just so he can better know how to help you.

Aww, see I get that it would be realistic for some of the boys to be immature and get grossed out, but it's a fantasy world! Maybe my fantasy is that the boys are semi-educated on the human body and are gonna support me during my periods 😭

I really think both Vil and Deuce should be given more credit, though. Vil is very in touch with his femininity, and doesn't really disrespect others unless they disrespect him or cause trouble, based on his interactions with others at least. I think he'd be excellent because he can make the best pain potions for your cramps, and might be willing to give you tips on how to care for your skin during your hormonal periods. But only if he likes you.

Deuce was raised only by his mama, and based on what I know of her from the JP event, she def gives off the vibes of "I'm teaching my son how to care and respect women." He'd probably understand that you're not being aggressive with him for the sake of it, you emotions are being messed with due to all the hormones fluctuating in your body. But I do agree that he is the type to panic buy one of everything to help you out.

The others, I can see it, though I would like to this that Epel's case is less of being raised old-fashioned (nothing about him and the way he interacts with others screams old-fashioned to me), and more of being one of the few young people in a town of old people. The folk that can have periods don't because they've probably gone through menopause! It doesn't occur to them that he should probably know about periods!!!

Ace and Idia are just immature and dumb and I love them. Also, rip Silver, he's never interacted with another human outside of Sebek's dad.

Anyways my headcanon for the TWST universe is that they actually teach biology and anatomy so people aren't taught to know nothing about things like periods. Cause that's stupid why do we do that?

[chaifootsteps]

idk if anyone's done a fic like this but I always wanted to read one where Stella and Blitzo meet

like at first Stella is furious to see him but maybe (assuming this is set in a time period when she's still in the house) she ends up overhearing how Stolas treats him or how unhappy Blitzo seems around him

and at first she's happy that Stolas' affair partner isn't having a good time, but when Striker mentions Blitzo was the one getting in the way of Striker killing Stolas, she's dismissive like of course Stolas' toy would protect him, but then Striker gets this... look. It sticks with her and when she's around the house she finds herself noticing the servants as people for the first time, too. How they have a look around Stolas sometimes, too

and the way Striker behaved nettles her so much she bugs him until he spills that he nearly talked Blitzo into helping him kill Stolas, because Stolas is lending out the book to get sex out of Blitzo

Stella is incensed. Not only is her husband gambling her daughter's inheritance and their precious grimoire but he's also extorting sex from someone. She's still not totally free of all her classist habits but she knows from her own stomach-turning memories what it's like having no safety around her own body. And when she and Stolas were trying to conceive they were mutually trying to please their own families, but it doesn't sound like the imp has a choice. And if the way Stolas talks to him is any indication he expects the imp to actively participate in this forced sexual activity, too

Stella's unsure what to do since this is way too messed up to risk Octavia finding out about, but at the least she has to secure the grimoire. And maybe when she goes over to see Stolas she ends up running into Blitzo - maybe out on the streets drunk or injured from work. It's the full moon and he's miserablely self-destructing in an attempt to get out of it. Maybe he ends up right in front of Stella and at the exact moment she has the opportunity to snap his neck for all the misery he brought the family - she doesn't

She gets the butler to bring him in so she can talk to him. Striker's there and tensions are high until she says she knows about the deal.

And she's the first one to tell Blitzo she thinks what Stolas is doing is wrong.

He's never heard it from anyone else and it stops him cold.

Striker promises Blitzo he won't touch his employees, but he asks if putting up with Stolas forever is what he really wants. Stella goes even further - if he joins Striker on the next hit she'll find a way to get him to the living world, maybe just buy an Asmodean crystal using Stolas' connections and money.

Blitzo realizes Stolas knew another way he could do the job the whole time and the disassociative shell he's formed around himself cracks and suddenly he's livid.

This time when he says he's in, he really means it.

I never get tired of these AUs, and want every last one of them to be canon. If you make a full fic out of this, Anon, by all means send it in!

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

is everyone in milgram just dead

Okay I'm making this post because while I'm not sure how much I believe this, it's a possibility that's been eating at my head for a while, so I gotta share it somewhere even if it's not the most solid theory in the world.

So anyways, hello members of the jury! Today I want to discuss the weirdly recurring theme of the prisoners in Milgram possibly being dead, and Milgram being some sort of afterlife thing. Given the fact it clearly has some supernatural elements, it certainly isn't impossible. So let's get into it!

CW Death, murder and suicide, abortion, child abuse, drowning, cults and indoctrination, waterboarding, gang violence

Yuno and the Allegations

The biggest hint that at least some of the prisoners might be dead is the in Yuno's second VD, Absolute Zero.

Yuno: Oh! Also, that reminds me, there was one thing I'm curious about. Es: What? Go ahead and say it. Y: Am I…really alive? E: That's…what do you…. Y: Hm…if you don't know, then it's fine. E: Yuno…. Y: Hey, it's time, right? E: Y-yes. Prisoner number 2, Yuno. Sing your sins.

Weird thing to say, really. So, presumably, she has some reason to believe she might be dead. Which is especially worrying because Yuno is one of the most intelligent and perceptive prisoners in Milgram, and might even have higher awareness of some of the more supernatural/meta elements of the series, as seen by images from both her cover songs appearing in Umbilical and Tear Drop.

All this is to say, if Yuno has reason to believe she might be dead, we have reason to believe so as well.

There are two points of Yuno's story were I feel she could have died. One is during her abortion, given a question from Trial 2.

(T2) Q20: Did you hate the person you killed?

Y: It was too much of a pain to for me to think about anything.

So her abortion was painful, which likely means it wasn't done in a hospital, as professional abortions typically don't cause too much pain in the moment (source), even if they can cause cramping or discomfort in the recovery period. If it wasn't done professionally, and it hurt a lot, it's very possible she may have died while performing it.

However, because of a few things we'll talk about later, I'm not sure this is very likely. The answer I find more likely is that, unfortunately, she may have committed suicide by jumping off the staircase we see her standing on in her Undercover silhouette shot.

For one, because what the hell would this shot even be otherwise. I've seen people suggest infanticide as opposed to abortion, but that wouldn’t cause physical pain (you could argue that answer is about emotional pain, but I'm not sure how much that works), it doesn't match her kill-shot in Undercover, and she herself has claimed her "muder" was abortion (and I don't see reason for her to lie about that). It also doesn't seem likely she would get pregnant more than once, seeing this question:

(T2) Q10: If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again?

Y: I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

So, then, what the hell is up with that Undercover shot? Usually they say something important about the prisoner or their crime, but it really doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

This is where I bring up that Yuno falls off a staircase at the end of Umbilical.

Like, obviously this is more meant to be metaphorical, as in Yuno "slipped up" and now has to avoid falling by grabbing the balloon, which ends up destroying the staircase which had previously been related to the mixing of DNA (long story). But... she still is falling from a staircase. That is what is happening in the video. This is a silly argument, but it does exist.

Now, there's a few other things which could imply this, but that will have to wait for a moment. So while there is very little evidence for now, I'd say this is the most likely reason for why Yuno believes she may be dead. Especially given she might have depression (check out this cool post by weather-cluddy), her comitting suicide is sort of the best guess we can make I feel.

Nevertheless, no matter the reason why, Yuno believes she may be dead, which opens the door to other characters, if not all of them, to be dead as well. Let's take a look at the other prisoner most likely to actually be dead in my opinion, and see if we can establish a pattern.

Haruka's Worrying Situation

I believe, even if no one else is dead, it is highly likely Haruka attempted suicide. I am not going to go too in-depth in here, because moibakadesu already made a really good post about it, which is where I got the theory from in the first place. In fact, the idea Haruka may have at least attempted suicide has existed ever since Trial 1, check out this cool post by Venus from thinkin-bout-milgram. Here's a summary of what the main points of the theory are:

-The repeated motif of water and drowning could indicate the way Haruka killed himself, especially since he lived in Naogaka, Niigata, known as the "city of water."

-Haruka repeatedly attacks and even strangles a younger version of himself in Weakness, in one occasion alongside the lyric "I've become a victim, I've become a victim."

-The young girl in Weakness might actually be a representation of the "ideal Haruka", as he's stated his mother wanted a daughter instead of a son (I don't actually agree with this part, I do think the girl is a literal girl Haruka killed, due to several lines from his VDs, such as him saying Amane "brings back bad memories." However, it's still a possibility)

-The nonchalance with which Haruka speaks of comitting suicide in his second MV, Metamorphosis of the Weak, could imply he's already done it once.

-The line "if with one click, and I can reset everything" in AKAA can be more directly translated to "if with the push of one button I could be reborn", which paired with butterflies being symbols of death and rebirth and being connected to Haruka because of the name of his second VD, could imply Haruka died and was reborn.

-Haruka standing on a chair in AKAA as his shadow lines up with the shadow of the bars in the window to create the ilusion he has a noose around his neck.

-At the end of AKAA, Haruka is surrounded in what looks to be formaldehyde, which is used to preserve the corpses of dead animals, while the aforementioned "I could be reborn" lyric plays.

As you can see, there's a lot here, which is why I think it is highly likely Haruka comitted suicide.

There is an issue with bringing this theory in, which is that part of the theory is that Haruka's silhouette in the Undercover shot doesn't have white noise, which separates him from the others and could imply he's a victim like Hinako and Mahiru's boyfriend, who similarly have no white noise. The problem for our purposes is that this theory assumes a lot of the other prisoners, such as Yuno, may have committed suicide as well, creating an inconsistency with this point. I don't have a good answer for this, beyond a really odd, Hamlet-esque "Haruka is a victim of his own madness" kind of thing which doesn't work very well, so unless any of you have another explanation, it's best for this theory to just sorta ignore the white noise thing.

So, now we have two prisoners who very likely died before Milgram. This vaguely establishes a possible pattern: what if all the prisoners were taken right as they died?

Muu’s Mysterious Memory Mishaps

Es: You said you wanted to go back home, right? And, "suppose" we did let you… Even if you were to leave this place, you'll then have a brush with the police, won't you? Muu: *Surprised* E: I mean, you've killed someone anyway, so are the police not making a move in regards to that? M: Well, I don't know. As of now, I don't have a clear memory of what happened after I did it. And then before I knew it, I was here. E: Is… that so? M: You guys should've known that, being the ones who brought me here after all.

This line from Muu’s first VD has always intrigued me. Muu doesn’t have a very good reason to be lying here when seen in full context, so she’s likely telling the truth. But, why? Why doesn’t Muu remember anything clearly after her crime, and why was she taken so quickly after committing it?

First idea is that perhaps all the prisoners are simply taken right after the murder they’re in Milgram for; even in the case of multiple murders, you can say Milgram just decided to take them for the last one exclusively.

However, Shidou serves as a counter example, because of the ending of Throw Down.

It’s a pretty simple logical progression. Shidou has no reason to kill after the flower person dies, so their death is after his last murder most likely, and yet he does remember it happening. Thus, Shidou has a memory of something which happened an undetermined amount of time after his final murder.

That means the "fuzzy memories" thing isn't universal. This can also be vaguely inferred by the attitudes certain prisoners have regarding their "murder(s)", like Kazui for example.

Now, you could argue Muu simply doesn't remember well because of the Trauma, and she just happened to get taken shortly after her murder. However, there is a chance now that there is a reason she was taken shortly after her murder.

You know what this post is about. You know what I'm about to imply. So I'll make the observation now:

In It's Not my Fault, one of Muu's shoes is off after she kills Rei. And we have seen this imagery of "one shoe off" to represent suicide before.

It's common in Japan to take both shoes off before comitting suicide, but if you want to read into only one of the shoes being off, you could argue it represents they're "half-suicides", as Milgram also considers them murders. In that sense, you (or Muu) could argue were Muu to commit suicide after killing Rei, then she would also become "Rei's victim", the same way Hinako and Mahiru's boyfriend are Kazui and Mahiru's victims.

This idea that Muu might still be a victim in the situation could also be implied by the lyrics here:

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

(Btw I'm using the fan translation in the wiki because the English subs in that video are... odd)

Yes that sentiment is repeated a lot during the song, but Muu does shout "I'm always meant to be pitied" ("I'm always the drama queen") at the top of her lungs here.

Now, the shoe thing isn't quite like that in After Pain, but we never actually see Muu's shoes in the real world, only in the blank inner world with the broken hourglass, and there are other inconsistencies with reality there, namely Rei's body's position.

You can see her right shoe is on there, but again, this scene isn't real.

The concerning thing is that apart from that, After Pain does not help Muu beat the suicide allegations.

In particular, look at the scene of the photo I put there. You can see there's a bunch of people judging Muu for her murder, as it's usually not considered a socially acceptable thing to do. But, hold on, didn't Muu say she didn't remember anything after her murder? Correct! That means she doesn't remember this "judgement" happening, but she imagined it would. Perhaps that's what the one line means:

[After Pain] Counterattack being a suicide note

Counterattacking Rei, killing her, is social suicide. For obvious reasons.

...

But it's still called a suicide note, which is not a good look. And yes, I do think the Japanese lyric explicitly references death, though take that with a lot of salt since that's just Google Translate and DeepL talking.

In fact, that entire set of lyrics is pretty odd.

[After Pain] Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

"Meeting up inside the pain" probably refers to hurting Rei, so now they're hurting together. The "stabbing of a little devil's voice" is probably referring to dangerous impulses, so murderous thoughts. "Counterattack being a suicide note", already explained. "I love YOU", because Muu is a girlkisser.

But the "postmortem makeup" is odd. You could argue the "death" which happened before the "makeup" was applied was the "death" of Muu's reputation, her old persona. Rei "killed" "that Muu", and now Muu is hiding her real feelings with "postmortem makeup."

But then, why would the method to solve it be a secret? Who is she keeping it secret from? Rei, and all of Muu's old 'friends', all know what lies beyond that makeup, they all saw what Muu was like before Rei stepped in.

That means there's another interpretation. If her real feelings are a secret, there's only one person they would be a secret from. Es (and us by extension). In a way, After Pain is hiding part of her heart, the less sympathetic parts shown in full in It's Not My Fault. Muu being a bully was already implied in After Pain, mind you, but it was still relatively "hidden", at least compared to It's Not my Fault.

And if that is the way we're meant to read that line, we run into the allegations again. If the makeup is for Milgram, and it's "postmortem" makeup, then Muu is already dead.

And that's without mentioning how much After Pain seems to imply suicidal tendencies in general.

[After Pain] If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

I don’t want tomorrow to come, I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me

Maybe I’m done Just one more time before saying goodbye I’m just kidding, please forget I said that

The only lyric that doesn't seem to imply it is:

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

But feeling alive and being alive isn't quite the same, right? You can be alive without feeling alive, and if someone doesn't feel alive, it's possible they're not a very good state of mind.

So, what could this all imply? If we're going with the idea of murder-suicide, it's possible Muu was very worried about how people would hate her after the murder, as implied by After Pain, decided she didn't want to deal with that, and unfortunately made the decision to kill herself.

One small thing which could serve as a counterpoint is her Trial 1 Voice Reveal distorted line.

Fufufu... It's your fault... for doing horrible things to me.

She seems pretty sure of herself here, and it's very likely this is after her murder. But it's perfectly possible she said this initially, then thought about the social consequences, and that's when she started to feel bad. It's also worth noting the only time in It's Not my Fault where Muu seems to hesitate is right after her murder.

[It's Not my Fault] Wait, wait, just as a hypothetical. What should I do if I’m actually a bad girl? Don’t ever hate me, and don’t look for what lies “after and from” the pain.

This is immediately after the murder, when she comes out of a caccoon, presumably her arriving at Milgram. So, she was initally confident, that's when she says "I’m always meant to be pitied!" in It's Not my Fault and presumably her Voice Reveal line, then hesitated and started to feel awful as we see in After Pain.

... Well, there's also the way more uncharitable reading where Muu killed herself so people also pitied her instead of just hating her for killing Rei, but that's a bit too dark and in bad faith for my tastes. It is there, though.

So, yeah, Muu may be dead too. And she brings with her an interesting implication; the prisoners may not have clear memories of the events leading up to their death. So, even if some of them committed suicide, it's possible they simply don't remember ever taking the decision to do so, explaining their behavior in the prison.

And it also could explain away... one apparent contradiction. One which exists outside of this theory, but that this theory could explain.

Amane and the Voice Reveal Trailers

As most of you know, the Voice Reveal trailers for all these characters contain certain distorted phrases which in general seem closely linked to their murder. And as pointed out by blueepink07 in this post, it seems the First Trial Voice Reveals are things the prisoners said after their murder, while the Second Trial ones are showing a point before their murder. Check out Kazui's, for example.

(T1) "I'm so dumb... Why did I have to dream?"

(T2) "Hinako, I love you more than anything."

There's also Muu's, since I've already brought it up before.

(T1) "Fufufu... It's your fault... for doing horrible things to me."

(T2) "Hey..why don't you listen to me...? I'm telling you... Hey...HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU"

The second being right before she killed Rei.

That works well enough for all the prisoners... except Amane.

(T1) "Ahh! I'm so sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm sorry for breaking the rules!"

(T2) "Father is a very praiseworthy person. Once [my/his] virtue increases, he'll come back home, right? It's a little lonely, but I'm fine!"

In theory, Amane would have been punished before her murder, as we see happen after she heals the cat in the taser scene. Meanwhile, if she's lonely without her father, it could perhaps be because her mother is dead after Things Happened (yes I'm going with Mother!Victim theory on this one).

But that's not the case. Following the pattern, the line about her father coming home at some point is before her murder, and apparently, she was punished for breaking some kind of rule after her murder. The implication here, horrid as it is, could be that her father returned home after she killed her mother and punished her for doing so.

Thankfully, this is impossible. After all:

(T1) Q18: Do you regret your "murder"?

A: No. It was a natural obligation.

(T2) Q3: State the name of your victim.

A: There is no victim. Only the punished.

(Taking some liberties on the translation of Trial 2 since the questions are still coming out as I write this)

So Amane genuinely believes she was following her cult's principles to a T when she killed her mom. As much as that likely isn't the case (long story), if she had gotten punished for killing her mom, then she wouldn't think like this. If she had been punished for it, she wouldn't think her murder was a "natural obligation", but rather a mistake on her part.

What this implies is that Amane doesn't remember being punished by her father.

...

Amane... doesn't remember...

Fuck.

Yeah, remember when I said it was possible the prisoners don't have clear memories of the events leading up to their death? Going by the "T1 after - T2 before" logic the Voice Reveals seem to follow, we can infer Amane was likely punished for killing her mother, but we also know she can't remember it happening, otherwise she would regret it. And based on what we learnt from Muu, we do have a way to explain how that could happen. If Amane died while receiving the punishment the T1 Voice Reveal alludes to, she wouldn't have a clear memory of it.

And the thing is, it does seem likely Amane received this punishment. Think about it. Interrogation questions are one thing, since the creators don't fully control them, but why mention her father would possibly return home in the Voice Reveal trailer? Unless he did. Hell, you could argue we might know the exact moment he returned. Amane does look at the entrance of her apartment at the end of Purge March, though that could simply be for dramatic effect rather than being a literal thing which happened.

But there's more. Because if her father returned home, we might actually have an answer for another one of the mysteries surrounding Amane's situation. The Undercover prisoner card.

The image on her card seems to show a bathroom. It is widely assumed the images on these cards are the location the murders happened in, but to my knowledge, this isn't 100% confirmed. However, this creates a small issue with Amane. Just looking at the murder shot in Purge March is enough to confirm that.

I made a more detailed theory on her murder on this post, diagrams included (scroll to the bottom if you're only interested on the murder), but for now, there are two things to note here. One, there's a trail of water which seems to come out of the door with the light on, as the puddles are bigger the closer they get to it, implying that room is the bathroom. And two, the room the murder actually happened in seems to have a window/door behind a curtain, which isn't what Amane's bathroom looks like.

Adittionally, there isn't any blood outside of the murder room, implying the victim's body wasn't dragged there.

All this seems to imply Amane's victim didn't die in the bathroom, which is sorta a problem considering the previously mentioned commonly accepted theory. But this idea that Amane may have died while being punished, perhaps while being drowned as we know that's one of the accepted methods of punishment in her cult, brings up a different possibility.

What if the images in the prisoner cards aren't showing murder location? What if they show the last place the prisoner was seen in, the place they died?

Kotoko, Mikoto, and the Prisoner Cards

So, first, is there any indication either of these might be dead? For Mikoto, not really. Sure, there's the whole Death card at the end of MeMe thing, but that doesn't have to be taken so literally.

Kotoko has a very little potential hint in the fact she's shown alongside a wolf at the start of HARROW, but by the end the wolf is by itself. If the wolf represents a potential partner (long story), then maybe Kotoko died?

Though you can easily argue the wolf is slightly different and thus is meant to just represent Kotoko.

However, the reason I'm bringing them into this is because their prisoner cards are completely nonsensical under "murder location" theory for the images shown. Let's start with Kotoko.

It shows an alleyway, which at first seems like it makes sense. We do see her attacking a man in an alleyway. However, after that happens, one of the pieces of background text says this:

◆ A wanted thief was assaulted by an unknown assailant Early yesterday morning, a nearby shop employee reported hearing screaming and seeing a man lying on the ground. According to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, the man had lost consciousness after being beaten on his face, stomach, and other areas, and was taken to the hospital. The police are currently trying to identify the suspect. [...] According to previous investigations, the male victim was wanted throughout Tokyo for theft and assault charges and was identified as the suspect, Mikio Oshii.

(Translation by Maristelina)

Mikio Oshii is the name of the man Kotoko assaulted in the alleyway. It seems odd to me that we would learn he was taken to the hospital if he later died in it somehow, especially because Kotoko didn't want to kill him. We can clearly see this because of a crucial difference between her attack on him and her attack on the serial killer who likely is her victim.

She covers her face while attacking Oshii, because she doesn't want to be recognized. She is committing assault, after all. However, that only matters if she's planning to keep him alive. Conversely, she doesn't cover her face while attacking the serial killer, because she knows he won't be a witness. She went into that warehouse planning to kill.

Of course, she could have accidentally done too much damage, but the issue there is that she would probably express some remorse in that case. She doesn't, and the fact she only ever talks about one victim-

[TASK (T1 VD)] I did kill someone. [...] I don't have a single regret.

-it really seems like Oshii was able to survive her attack.

That creates an issue with her prisoner card. It shows an alleyway, but her only victim died in a warehouse. As confusing as that sequence is, he did die in the warehouse.

You know when we do see an alleyway again, though?

But she's not wearing her face covering. And if this was the alley with the one sign about a car accident that shows up over and over in HARROW, I'd imagine we'd see the sign, even if it was obscured in some way. So once again, a silhouette shot which seems to have nothing to do with her murder or her general situation.

So, is it possible she died in this alleyway? That's the only other reason I can imagine why it'd show up in her prisoner card, so. As for what exactly happened, I imagine she may have been murdered at the whim of her victim's father?

Shocking revelation: The heinous criminal behind the crime is the privileged son of a high-ranking official!

(Article referring to Kotoko's victim)

So, she got found out and immediately assassinated? It's a bit out there, but it would explain both her prisoner card and her attitude in the prison.

And then there's Mikoto.

As you can see, his card shows a street. The issue with Mikoto is one of format. The cards only ever show one location, but we know Mikoto has at least two victims.

[Text: To the right, the Subway Murder, which clearly has a ceiling. The murderer has blood on his right cheek, his left cheek is hidden. There's also the bathhtub scene, where the right cheek is hidden, but the left cheek has blood already trailing off, which doesn't quite fit what we see in the other murder if you think about the bath chronologically.

To the left, a murder out in the street, with an open sky. The murderer has blood on their left cheek, but not on their right. This is seen in both the crime and the shower scene]

So yeah, at least two. You could argue the bathtub murder is actually a third one, which... huh. Two things that absolutely exist and a Secret Third Thing, the existance of which is disputed? Trikoto vibes.

Point is, Mikoto has two different murder locations at least. The street, yes, but also the subway. This creates a problem with the "images in the prisoner cards are murder locations" idea, because it only shows one. You could try to gymnastics your way out of this by saying maybe Hostkoto committed the street murder while Orekoto killed the other victim(s), and because only Hostkoto is considered a prisoner by Milgram, only his murder is shown? But I feel that raises more questions than it answers.

Instead, if we assume the images to be death locations, the ambiguity disappears, because Mikoto as a system can only have one death location. The issue is you have to explain how Mikoto died in the middle of the street, which is a bit difficult.

The best guess I can give is related to the subway victim. It's been pointed out before that guy looks a lot like a stereotypical Japanese delinquent, which could imply he was part of a gang. If that's the case, it's possible the killer angered the wrong people by killing him, similar to Kotoko, and thus was later murdered himself. We know that street isn't very safe, on account of one of the alters getting away with murder there. It's a pretty large stretch, and has like zero evidence, but it's physically possible at least.

Let's take a quick look at the other prisoners and see if their images can also be explained by the "death image" theory.

We know Muu would share a death location with her victim if she really committed suicide as the theory states, so nothing weird there. Haruka's a bit more awkward, because it shows the forest he very likely killed the girl in, but I'm not entirely sure if the forests near Nagaoka has bodies of water deep enough to drown oneself. There is the Shinano river, which has... trees, around it.

This was taken from Google Street View in Nagaoka. Again, not sure how deep it is, but assuming it's deep enough to drown, it could work if you ignore the trees don't look too much like the ones irl. Maybe Haruka threw himself off the bridge?

Alternatively, Nagaoka borders the sea, and it seems like there's forest almost all the way up to it. So maybe that could work? Unsure.

Worst comes to worst, we can maybe change it to saying Haruka didn't drown himself, but killed himself in some other way in the forest. Point is, I think Haruka's isn't too big of an issue.

Fuuta, Mahiru and Kazui don't have a lot of evidence towards what the hell would have happened, but the best assumption I can make is they all committed suicide because of guilt. Fuuta in his room, Mahiru in the suicide forest (likely also where her boyfriend committed suicide), and Kazui by jumping off a building like Hinako. As for their evidence...

>Fuuta burns at the end of Backdraft, which is the same thing that happens to Killcheroy, so you could argue that's meant to show he's dying. It's not great, it absolutely is just meant to be metaphorical most likely, but it is there.

Additionally, he's also an outlier for the "muder location image" theory, since what one would consider his "murder location" is very ambiguous. Is it his room, where he sent online hate from? Is it Killcheroy's room, where she assumedly died? Wouldn't it be the front of Killcheroy's house, where Fuuta took the picture to dox her? Again, death location is less ambiguous.

Fuuta's attitude during Trial 1 could be seen as a bit weird if he was suicidal, but I'm not sure we can comfortably say that with the limited information we have.

>Mahiru in I Love You goes to sleep after seeing her boyfriend dead, which could be read as her committing suicide. You know, if you're insane like me.

Especially given this question from Trial 1:

(T1) Q20: What do you think about smoking?

M: I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

That, alongside a lot of the bg text from TIHTBILWY, implies Mahiru likes the idea of copying her lover. Not the greatest quality to have when your lover commits suicide.

>Kazui has this:

Where the smoke of his cigarette turns into a noose. Of course, that's meant to represent self-destruction in general, but it could also be taken more literally. He... doesn't have much else.

Thus, everyone else vaguely fits the idea of "death image"... except him.

Our favorite headache inducing doctor strikes again! His card shows a hospital room, which is a very strange death location, but perfectly fits his murders. You could argue he runs into the same issue as Mikoto, but it's actually possible Shidou just killed all his victims in the same room, so.

Yeah, Shidou's probably the biggest counterargument for this theory. Because while it's possible he died in a hospital, there is zero evidence for it, beyond the image itself. Hell, neither Throw Down or Triage ever seems to imply he died in the first place, which is an issue. This theory's already heavily dependant on the extremely flawed "you can't disprove it" argument, but at least most of the other ones have some kind of logical progression which gets you to how they died.

So, to complete the theory, we have to make the pretty big jump that Shidou died inside a hospital room, without knowing how that happened.

... Wait, inside the room?

Wait wait wait, show me Fuuta's and Amane's again.

Hmmm... 0308... hmmmm... 0308... I totally didn't just do this to put the two together... hm...

Yeah, same thing. They both show the inside of a room. Which, along with Shidou's, shows that these images can show the inside of buildings, right?

But, then... why is Yuno's outside?

That very clearly isn't the inside of a building. But this generates a problem for the "murder location image" theory, because Yuno's "murder" was abortion. Even if it wasn't done professionally, she would have still done it inside, presumably. This creates an inconsistency with Fuuta, Amane and Shidou. If their murder locations are shown from inside, why is Yuno different?

However, this inconsistency disappears if we assume the images to be death locations. I previously established if Yuno died, she likely committed suicide by jumping off a staircase, which does vaguely fit this image. It's similar to Kazui's in that way.

Now, I don't want to get too ahead of myself here. Murder location is still absolutely the more straightforward answer, but it does come with its issues. As stated, Fuuta's image would face some ambiguity, Mikoto's would face extreme ambiguity, Amane's seems to contradict the evidence we're shown in Purge March, Yuno's is wildly inconsistent with the other images, and Kotoko's is straight up nonsensical.

Meanwhile, death locations physically work with all the cases, even if Shidou's case is extremely weird, but it requires huge assumptions and stretches. It relies heavily on how impossible it is to disprove, which is not a good sign. Russell's Teapot, and all that.

Summary of the Theory

>Everyone in Milgram is dead, and their prisoner cards in Undercover show the place where they died.

>Prisoner's memories of the events leading up to their deaths are extremely fuzzy, explaining why only Yuno seems to even suspect it.

+Haruka: Committed suicide by drowning himself, possibly in the Shinano river or the sea. [Most likely to be dead]

+Yuno: Committed suicide by jumping off the staircase we see her standing in on her Undercover silhouette shot. [Most likely to be dead]

+Fuuta: Committed suicide in his room out of guilt. [Very little evidence]

+Muu: Murder-suicide, she committed suicide after killing Rei. [A bit more evidence than others]

+Shidou: Died in a hospital room [???]

+Mahiru: "Copied" her boyfriend by killing herself in the suicide forest. [Very little evidence]

+Kazui: Jumped off a building, like Hinako. [Very little evidence]

+Amane: Drowned by her father as "punishment" for her murder. [Unfortunately, sorta likely]

+Mikoto: Murdered by one of the members of Subway Victim's gang. [Sort of filling in the blanks here]

+Kotoko: Murdered at the order of her victim's father. [Very little evidence]

Conclusion

Do I believe this theory? Honestly, I don't know. It makes a few too many assumptions for me to fully believe it, but I do think it's a decent possibility, so I wanted to share it with you all. In any case, that's all I have to say for now. If you have any thoughts about any of this, feel free to share! Also I didn't even touch on Es but you can try to fit them in somehow if you feel like it.

Anyways, if you made it this far, you deserve a hug, this post was depressing. Take care!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I know I've been saying this in my tags, but from birth to around age three Lo'ak and Jake Sully were mortal frenemies and they both loved it secretly.

Lo'ak's throwing food at Jake and kneeing him in the dick when climbing in or out of the sleeping pile day after day like it's personal AND intentional. Tantrums begin when Jake enters a room and end when he leaves because he's aware Jake will cave and Neytiri won't put up with that shit. Anything Jake leaves near his level will go directly in his mouth, it doesn't matter what that shit is. If Jake isn't watching him constantly he will kill himself straight up. Jake asked Mo'at once if babies who are not quite yet sentient could be suicidal. If Jake leaves him alone for more than an hour he will scream until Jake comes back. Unlike Spider, who Norm complains constantly about losing cause he can silently climb anywhere, Lo'ak makes his presence known at all times. Jake just carries him around in a wrap over his chest like he's a large and inconvenient fanny pack that might try to vacuum up whatever Jake and his warriors are working on if Jake bends down too far. Jake has an x-ray saved from Norm of the time Lo'ak swallowed a whole spoon somehow.

There's a month long period after Lo'ak learns to walk where he insists they hold hands to go anywhere and he won't say why but Jake is pretty sure it's because an older kid said something mean to him about his extra fingers, so he keeps doing it even though he's become a permanent hunchback. He complains but Neytiri says he won't act like he likes Jake forever so he should treasure it. He imitates everything Jake does literally all day like the worlds smallest stalker, and Jake can barely take a piss without turning around to find Lo'ak trying to piss the same way somehow. He tells Neytiri it's too disturbing to treasure but she is not convinced.

Around when Lo'ak turns four he deems Jake uncool and begins stalking Neteyam instead (rip to that poor kid, Jake prays for him), and Jake revels in his peace and quiet for about a week until he realizes he's actually really bummed out and Neytiri was right all along and he liked it when his kid liked him.

[just-prime]

Tales of Squandered Potential

Oh hello again everyone who follows me for my Star Wars ranting!

So! Tales of the Empire. The Hat Man is at it again.

Episodes 1-3 : The Path of Boredom

As expected, all of the Morgan stuff was not my thing. She was boring in Ahsoka, she was boring here. The entirety of the three episodes just hammered home "this lady is angry" in a way that felt overdone because there is no arc. There's no growth, no interest, no nothing. It all just feels like Filoni trying to retroactively make his one dimensional character that gets killed off in the stupidest way possible feel super badass. However because we know that she gets killed in the stupidest way possible, everything falls flat and none of it feels earned. It also doesn't actually answer any of the many many questions that Ahsoka raised about her. She's just there, standing in front of a fire. That's all she does.

Thrawn is there for all of about two seconds, and every moment of it is painful, because here's the thing. WE KNOW WHAT THRAWN WAS UP TO AT THIS TIME!!! We have the book that explains all of Thrawn's many exploits as an admiral. This is only more evidence for the idea that Filoni has never actually picked up any of the canon Thrawn books. Which we kinda already knew, but this is all but confirmation. As I've previously said, and will continue saying, Filoni needs to contextualize Thrawn as a 100% big bad otherwise his Heir to the Empire fanfilm won't actually feel earned, so he is systematically destroying any and all nuance that Thrawn has had to make sure that new viewers only ever see him as an unredeemable evil.

And I know that there are a lot of you out there who are holding out for the possibility that this is all a misdirect by Thrawn! That this is all part of his grand plan to go back and help the Ascendency, and that he's lying to everyone about his intentions. But the sad truth is that Filoni doesn't give a rats ass about anything other than cartoonishly evil Thrawn which means we're never getting Eli, or Karyn, or Hammerly or any of the characters from the six fantastic canon books that Timothy Zahn so lovingly created. That was made very clear with Filoni's prioritization of Admiral Pellaeon, who for those who don't know is actually in the new canon Thrawn books too! He wasn't just left behind in Legends, Zahn brought him back into canon too! But again, being the Legends fanboy that he is, Filoni doesn't care about where Pellaeon should be canonically, so instead he's just shoehorned into the episode for no other reason then Filoni likes him.

Episodes 4-6 : The Barriss Content

Soooooo, why didn't Barriss get a full fucking season to herself??? I get the idea behind the 15 minute episodes, but it really makes it hard to tell any sort of cohesive story. It works far better as a snapshot of a couple of days in someone's life. So unfortunately, while I did enjoy them, Barriss's episodes felt really rushed and I found it really hard to tell when things took place. How long was she at the Inquisitor training center? Was it a day? Was it a month? Really would have been interested in actually seeing the inner workings but it all has to get brushed over in favor of her becoming an Inquisitor. A seemingly intentionally not named Inquisitor which makes me feel like they've run out of early Inquisitor names. Unless there's a trial period before you get a proper number? I don't know it was just one of those things that niggled at me. Another thing that niggled at me (which was also mentioned by the wonderful artist @stealingpotatoes, go give her art some love) is that her design is kinda boring as fuck? Like, you have Birdy-Mc-Skullface right there with such a neat design and yet all Barriss gets is a motorcycle helmet with very slight voice modulation.

But I digress. The fact that Barriss commits herself to the Inquisitorium via a ritualized fight to the death, and then goes "wait, the red light saber wielding, all black wearing, Darth Vader serving inquisitors aren't here to help people?" before immediately bailing is so funny to me. This girl cannot for the life of her commit herself to an organization without becoming disillusioned within 1-3 business days.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all being about Lyn? I was very much rooting for her to totally die in the ice shafts instead of what felt like a very last minute redemption arc?

Though speaking of the last episode...HOLY SHIT OLD BARRISS IS FUCKING HOT. *coughs* Excuse me. Anyway. I would have loved to see more of what happened in between eps 5 and 6. Seeing how she and the jedi kid escaped the planet, and where the two of them did after than in the very hostile Empire would have been a facinating story watch play out. Also, who is this female friend that Barriss is referring to when she sends the child away? Is it Ahsoka??? If it is...WHY WOULD YOU NOT SHOW US THAT REUNION??? Like I get the whole point of this is to set up Barriss to make the jump to live action like every single other Filoni character is curseddestined to do, but also you've had people waiting years to find out what happened to Barriss and it feels like they burned their biggest story possibility on a throwaway reference. Did she find Ahsoka? Did Ahsoka find her? When did they find each other? Was it pre-Rebellion? Was it after Ahsoka was already functioning as Fulcrum? Given that we now know the Fulcrum name originated from Anakin, did Barriss recognize the name and seek this mystery person out? I don't know it just feels again like more wasted potential.

Final Thoughts

Fuck this animation is good now! Can we get a new writer?

Like, even for the shit I was annoyed by, the entire show just looks fabulous. It makes me really really wish that ANYONE other than Filoni could make content in this style. Let the writers of Jedi: Fallen Order and Survivor do a Merrin episode or a baby Cal episode. Or the people doing The Acolyte, let them do Tales of the High Republic! Let anyone other than Filoni have a chance to create within the world of Star Wars animated content.

[yandere-fics]

♡ How They Act With A Darling With Separation Anxiety ♡

♡ Miriel herself tends to be anxious when separated from her darling, of course she'll allow you to be separated from her for periods of time, as much as she really doesn't like it when you go out alone and will pout and whine if you do, she allows you to with certain rules set in place. However if you don't want to go out without her then she'll be thrilled, she no longer has to whine and cry at your feet when you tell her you're going outside, now you're the one whining and crying at her feet, not that she enjoys seeing you so distraught, don't worry babe! She can work from home from now on, you'll never be separated again. ♡

♡ Unlike Miriel, Eliza doesn't have the privilege of working from home, she has to go out for work and as much as she tries to soothe you about this and be right against you when she gets home, nothing really helps, this really makes her feel like she's failing her job as your loyal wolf, I would not recommend this for the person with separation anxiety, honestly terrible for your mental health and for Eliza's cause she constantly feels like she's going to cry when she's outside because she's failing you. ♡

♡ Selene never has to go anywhere except the gods conference once a year and even that she can bring you to. She really enjoys having you attached to her all the time. Be warned though, since you seem to always need her, it means she's going to drag you with her on her runs, hold onto her back so tightly or you might fall, she really enjoys how tightly you cling even though you're crying about how scared you are of all this but you still chose to wrap your arms around her shoulders and hold on tight every day so you must not be as scared as you claim to be. ♡

♡ Kassien probably handles it the best out of all of the mates, she takes you with her instead of keeping you cooped up in the apartment with her all the time, she doesn't want you completely isolated, sure she doesn't let you talk to others much on these outings but she still wants you to experience things in spite of this problem. Her office is crammed full of things for you to do and she takes you out on very regular dates and holds onto you very tightly during these dates so you won't feel too anxious. ♡

♡ Might be worse than Eliza when to comes to this, at least at first. High ranked angels often leave their mates back at camp when they have to go fight and defend the territory and while she really enjoys having her mate near, if her mate isn't near she just deals with it until she can get back to you again so she doesn't understand your freakout about being away from her, at first she assumes it's something she can just adjust you to but when she realizes it's not going away she keeps you extra close, congrats now you get to nap on her lap while she's working, you won't get an inch away from her, she'll even wrap her wings around you if you seem slightly anxious. The downside is now she has to get in the bath with you every single time you do. ♡

♡ Runa is the queen of separation anxiety, sure she does leave your side to go kill but she's shaking and anxious the entire time until she returns to you and needs you to assure her, she even gets anxious when she has to go into her long sleeps and she won't be able to follow you from room to room in the apartment. This is not a super good situation for you cause of her long sleeps, sure she's there but you can't speak to her and she can't hug you back for the time being and when she does wake up you need food money which means she has to go pick a target but when she is awake and with you, her attention is solely on you to make up for it. ♡

♡ Nora is a pretty good one for a person who has separation anxiety, she doesn't have to go outside even very often, she's mostly going out when you're asleep so you might not even notice she ever left. You having separation anxiety does make her feel so can let go just a literally bit more with her tendencies and she's way more likely to tie you up and say crazy things, it's not like you'd leave anyways if she let herself get more possessive, you can't leave the house without her without bursting into tears, she gets to keep you forever. ♡

♡ Sawyer enjoys having you need to always be with her, especially in her heats, in her heats you aren't even allowed to move an inch away from her so it works out perfectly, honestly you having separation anxiety is probably her fault since she stuck you in the isolation room, once you do have separation anxiety though she'll have to find another punishment cause seeing you sob and scream like that makes her feel like perhaps the punishment is much too harsh. ♡

[iridescentdove]

Helloo, I was thinking about a scenario with Nikolai and a twin sister reader who’s similar to Lynette if it’s possible. Tyy 💕

Nikolai Gogol x Lynette! Reader

Hello anon! I'm back ... again. I'm an on and off person in this app at this point lmfao. By the way, requests are closed for now everyone! But you can still ask me questions and other stuff. Let's start.

Lyney is a more reserved girl. She rarely talks to others out of her own accord, letting Lyney (in this case Nikolai) do the talking for her, and dissuades essentially any attempt to speak with her by saying bizarre responses. Whenever she needs to talk, she speaks briefly and frankly.

NIKOLAI GOGOL:

Both of you are literally the polar opposites, it's kinda funny. Nikolai is that one fun dude at parties and you're just the one sitting in the corner watching him like 🗿

Nikolai: dumb bitch

You: dumb bitch's caretaker and sister unfortunately but whatever

Honestly he's not annoying, he's actually just cheerful around you and loves to hang around you. He's one of those rare actual good big brothers! <3

Often you're very reserved and prefer to keep to yourself, so he does most of the talking.

He doesn't let you see Fyodor, or even breathe in his direction. We all know why. And i'm pretty sure even Nikolai is sane enough to know he won't let anything happen to you. You're his precious little dove, aren't you?

People find you two a fun duo ngl

Like, you're also his assistant when he does magic and you both are unintentionally goofy as hell.

It's not even a coincidence at this point, I can totally see this guy being Lyney. Imagine he's just being down bad for Fyodor and you have to drag him away like "not again bitch"

He fr needs to chill. Like we know you want to kill him but tf that light skin stare for 🤨

I'd like to think that both of you take the time out of your day to have some fun together. Given BSD is just death, death and more death.

I totally headcanon Nikolai to love amusement parks.

He cannot stop trolling. The moment you're not looking he's out here making children CRY

You have to drag him away to stop him from getting kicked out or something.

Nikolai isn't overprotective, but he's not chill either. I'd like to believe that he trusts you, but at some point if someone even so much as looked at you weird–

They'll be in the seventh circle of hell pretty quick.

He honestly loves how chill and seemingly reserved you are, the fact you're so patient with him, he appreciates a lot.

But will be very dramatic when it comes to showing love to you. Come on now, he's a clown. what did u expect

"My dear sister says she is on her period. I am too. It's uterUS." "That doesn't mean you can wear my PADS"

... 😐

Okay nevermind, sometimes he does get overbearing. But you guys are the perfect siblings anyway.

Sorry if I couldn't do a scenario, I had no idea what to do. Writers' block still has me.

[silviakundera]

The Princess Royal ep 35 comments

So the writers made a signifucant change here, with having a traumatized, pregnant Li Rong decide to hide the revelation of the past from Pei Wenxuan instead of just having a complete breakdown in his arms.

The adaption has actually been overall shockingly novel complaint (it may be streamlined and less able to communicate complex character dynamics but on the whole the major events all track and tons of dialogue is lifted from the novel)... so I find myself curious about the few big deviations.

Why do I think they made this choice?

Suspense: the desire to create a conflict & tension btw our leads, because by this period in the story they are so on sync and united in purpose that I think the screenwriter is worried that it's too bland (if we recall The Double, some viewers felt a certain malaise with that couple at the end because they just supported each other w no conflict & drama).

No sex : in the novel they fuck about it; not gonna happen here. With all that stripped away, all of the emotional conflicts & resulting catharsis are happening between other characters in the last chapters. So what to do?

Mirrored behavior: I think perhaps we are intended to see a comparison in how SRQ didn't want to tell LR this secret out of protection for her mental health. He would rather be the villian to her who killed her for a blood feud, than see her face the truth. He originally wanted to "fix everything" without her having to know. SRQ is LR's foil. So I can see how perhaps drama writers thought it would be a plausible reaction for LR hide this from PWX and try to "fix it" behind his back, so his hands are clean and HE didn't betray the crown prince. In the drama as she is doing this, her voice over literally thinks that the only person she can trust is PWX. She just wants to keep him out of it. And then says some stuff in temporary anger when they fight about it.

So how do I feel about the change? While I do prefer the novel version, I guess I can agree it's a plausible scenario in the drama - because the drama's streamlining has reduced the emphasis on LR and SRQ standing on opposite sides politically. In the novel, frankly I do not see her joining w SRQ's camp for even 10 minutes. It just wouldn't happen. At this point, sure she knows he means well but they fundamentally disagree on what is the right path for the country. Even a panicking & broken novel!LR wouldn't be tempted to let a puppet Li Cheng take the throne.

But if I keep an open mind, I can see how in the live action version this might seem like a plausible stop-gap measure for LR and then she thinks she can recover and course correct after. I don't agree with the writing choice but I don't HATE it.

I'll be honest - It's hard for me to judge her too harshly for her immediate reactions in either novel or drama because her lament is just TOO SAD. I know she's far from a perfect person, but it really hurts my heart.

novel snippets of her soliloquy:

"Li Rong, let yourself go."

These words were like a heavy hammer hitting Li Rong, shattering her heart abruptly. She wanted to fight back, to retort, but in the end, it only became a rhetorical question, "If I let myself go, who will let me go?"

"No one has spared me!"

When these words came out, she could no longer restrain the pain she had been trying so hard to contain, "Everyone is using me, Chuan'er doesn't believe me and killed me, Shangguan Ya and Su Rongqing watched me die. Pei Wenxuan," Li Rong grabbed Pei Wenxuan's sleeve as she stared at him with tearful eyes, "how do you want me to let myself go?"

"No one believes me, you all think I'm bad, that I'm selfish, that I'm power-hungry, that I'm unscrupulous, that I won't think of any of you."

"So Li Chuan wants to kill me, Shangguan Ya wants me dead, Su Rongqing watches me drink the poison and says nothing, and even you," Li Rong tugged at his shirt with a deadly grip, "do you also think that I'm pushing you now? That I'm slandering your feelings, that I'm suffering so I'm making you suffer too?"

Pei Wenxuan froze, Li Rong lowered her head, she restrained herself, she tried to calm herself down a little.

She had hurt too many people, everyone had abandoned her, she wanted to be kinder to Pei Wenxuan, she shouldn't have indulged herself.

"I didn't."

She sounded dumb, "I just want to, to be nice to you. I want to be nice to everyone, but I can't do anything right."

"I don't talk well, I'm too dictatorial, I'm like a hedgehog, and anyone who sees me thinks I'm bad. I can't even, when I try to like you, do it well."

"I've done so much for Chuan'er," she said as tears poured down her eyes, "but he still doesn't believe me."

"I fought like that for a' Ya and Chuan'er, and a'Ya still gave up on me for the slightest risk."

"I'd gone to so much trouble to keep Su Rongqing, but I still can't live in his heart, he hasn't even given me a little trust."

"I'm not forcing you, I really just want to be good to you, I don't know what to do, I just want you to not suffer a little in front of me. But I still can't do it right."

"I'm sorry ......" she tilted her head to look at him and said it over and over again, "I'm sorry ......"

Pei Wenxuan did not say anything, he looked at Li Rong in front of him, she no longer had any semblance of decorum to speak of. The most wretched thing in life, he's afraid, is her now. Even when he met her in prison, she was fully clothed and tied up, her posture was calm.

*

"...That was the last life, I can ignore it, but just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't care."

"One has to hold the power to have a choice. And when you gain power, it shouldn't be mixed with feelings. I used to talk about liking power, but in fact when I made decisions, I always put a lot more trust in them and was willing to fight for them. So when I came up, I always thought of helping Chuan'er, solving his present problems for him, his future problems."

"My mother scolded me, saying that I was thinking all these things. That the emperor thought of me as a princess, and that in the eyes of the future emperor, I was no different in nature from the noble lineage. I thought she was silly at the time, but now I realise that it was me who was silly."

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think what's truly horrible, what traumatizes her so deeply, is that this was a long process. LR and PWX remember her descent into chronic illness! How she wasted away as PWX brought her doctors to try to save her. Her brother didn't kill her in 1 momentary act of rage & paranoia. He decided over and over again that she must die and he killed her THROUGH THE GAMES THEY PLAYED TOGETHER. Poisoning the weiqi pieces. All of what she thought were private family moments were the tools of her slow murder.

While the confrontation scene she has together w Li Chuan in the novel was sincerely beautiful and literally made me cry... I SO GET her initial repulsion and urge to walk away.

[side note: I can empathize on 1 thing with SRQ - feeling he had no choice but to watch this cruel betrayal and hating himself & hating Li Chuan more and more as he watches what's happening to her... no wonder, considering what also happened to his family, he thinks of Li Chuan as a monster who must be stopped. Like, I'm not in his side at all because the nobles are fucked. But I do think his beliefs about Li Chuan are like the most normal thing about him. I also see why SRQ hates himself (cause he should) - and why he is increasingly distressed as he sees Li Rong prove in this life how little he understood her and much he underestimated her inner goodness & also her bond with PWX. All the reasons he thought he couldn't risk saving her in the 1st life were wrong. So of course this only makes him hate & resent LC more.]

[nunalastor]

First Man!Alastor

Oooh, the idea of Alastor dying (Again) because of ADAM (....again) and it being an ACCIDENT - I love it! He dies and wakes up in heaven and is personally welcomed by Sera and the other Elders who are SO PROUD of him. They see he's become a new Seraphim and are like 'obviously its because he's so Pure and Untainted by Sin and able to Resist Temptation' and Alastor is like 'that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about how becoming an angel works to argue about it.'

Also, Adam essentially committed manslaughter here. He's wrecked his family and traumatised his children - and even if he didn't mean to kill Alastor, manslaughter is still a crime.

So what if, in this verse, ADAM is accounted the First Sinner instead of Cain, and goes to hell? Him and Lucifer and Lilith meeting up would be hella awkward, but also imagine the reunion when Alastor follows Charlie and Vaggie down to Hell! But then who would lead the Exterminations? Sera would never let her new precious little brother Alastor be the one, any more then she'd have Emily do it - so, when she's creating the Exorcists, she takes care to make one who's stronger then the others and names that one General. None of the Exorcists have names at first - why would they? They're tools. Weapons.

Until Alastor comes across the new General and is like 'Ah. Lute.' And that leads to the tradition where he gives the Exorcists their names, and also cooks for them, and - Lute is so on board with not letting Alastor know about the Exterminations. She is as fanatically devoted to Sera and Exterminating demons as she was Adam in canon - like, this is literally her creator and the reason for her existence - but she's also fanatically devoted to ALASTOR, who has no idea what caused this and is just defaulting to treating her somewhat like Niffty. ALL the Exorcists are devoted to Alastor, and team up to keep the Exterminations secret from him so it won't bother him (little do they know he totally knows).

And then Charlie and Vaggie show up for their meeting with Heaven - and Adam along with them.

Also, now I'm imagining what the bible looks like in this verse. Without Cain and Abel, but with Adam accidentally killing Alastor, and Alastor even being mentioned in it - I bet it gets perceived as a metaphor for 'Lilith is independent women and show why women must be submissive, Eve is that women are weak and easily tempted and show why childbirth and periods are painful, Adam is Man as Hunter/Gatherer/Protector and Alastor is man as Inventor/Philosopher/Great Man (TM) and the idea is that men are supposed to be a mix of them, or maybe that being the smart man is better then the strong man, and also how to resist temptation because Alastor never ate the apple or slept with Eve' and also 'the first murder was an accident based on envy, and possessiveness (instead of in our bible where it was deliberate and based on envy and wrath)'

Honestly, I just really want to see what religion is like in this world lol.

👀

[klm-zoflorr]

Now let's talk about Georgie in the superheroes AU! And wtgfs, and jongeorgie. Strap on!

I was just thinking, since I like her a lot and and her whole shtick in canon is to not feel fear (=not be influenced at all by them) but mostly that I like her a lot and I want her to have nice things, why not give her the ability to temprorarily erase other's powers? Like... Well let's not lie there are literally SO many people with that set of powers in media. Rogue, Alexia Tarabotti, Leech the mutant, Eraserhead, Amon, Number Seven,... Buncha cool people basically.

So, extremely powerful. But since she's Georgie... She doesn't want anything to do with that superhero business. Not at all. Nope. Categorically not. Forever civilian. That also means that while she has one of the strongest powers, she is entirely untrained in hand-to-hand combat and is actually kinda weak against anyone/villain/supe who doesn't rely overly on their powers or has like. A weapon.

Also the irony that the only person that might have a shot at taking down Dr. Magnus/The Watchman, the only person he fears (probably) has dated both of his ex-teammates is... not lost on me. I think it's kinda funny! So is the fact Georgie could take him down if she wanted but doesn't because she doesn't want to get involved, period.

Since she won't be doing much actual fighting, I dare think I'm allowed to give her very few drawbacks to her powers. So like, there will be someone else in the AU who can "steal" powers with a touch, I think (this really is one of my fav powers to give out, uh) (suggestions?) but for Georgie it's just. Area effect. She activates it and suddenly everyone in a certain distance of her can't do shit no more. It does tire her though. I'm thinking if she trained she could expand her "area of effect", control the distance she wants better, and work it for longer? But she's not interested in any of that. So!

Or maybe it's only one person at a time. Mmmh. But I also don't really need to give her limitations, so. We'll see, depending on what the plot requires when I actually get around to thinking about that particular can of worms.

Nowadays, she is dating Melanie, obviously. There's a certain poetry in knowing your partner is the only one that makes you vulnerable, the only one who could kill you if you asked. I think Melanie equal parts fears and respects her for it. It's a bit of danger in her life that she loves because adrenaline junkie but also she doesn't wholly trust Georgie even though she has no reason not to. It's... She's got complex feelings about this, man.

She used to be dating Jon, which went about the same as in canon I suppose. There's an added layer there though, with Georgie being the only one capable of giving Jon a reprieve, of sorts, from feeling/being harrassed by all the emotions of people around him. Did I say already that's something he struggles with a lot? He really does. He's having a terrible time. Puppy just wants a break from it all. And Georgie could give him that! And quite happily too. Although not all the time. Jon used to feel quite awful about it though, like he was using her for her powers. He questionned more than once if he was only with her because of what she could do for him. He wasn't, he truly loved her, but yknow. Jon's gonna Jon.

Georgie has complex feelings about her powers not being treated as a curse that removes people's abilities for once but instead a blessing with Jon. She has complex feelings about making Melanie human, about holding so much power over her life. Yadda yadda yadda, I'm sure you can imagine what all those feelings are.