#that i deserve freedom from exams

[inmyarmswrappedin]

I cannot wait until it's Saturday next week and I'm done with finals omg. My classmates think this year has gone soooooo fast but I feel I aged 5 years in 10 months.

[piosplayhouse]

Mdzs fans will really pretend to support female characters until being a complex character means that they can have other motivations and goals besides just helping w wx

[sweet-as-kiwis]

And thus my Petty Bitch arc begins

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

Crazy Over You x Min Yoongi

[HYBRID AU]

PART FIVE

Bitter taste, Jealousy and bites.

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior.

Word count: 8.5k

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

< Previously Next Chapter >

……….

Everything went smoothly afterwards, by that would mean nothing eventful happened but things still needed more time to heal. I took Yoongi back to his mating room once the exams were done, after that he seemed tired and didn’t question much once we were there. I never seen him so exhausted before, the entire time he was going under the exams he looked nervous and I worried that it might have something to do with his past. He didn’t say anything till we got to his room and even after that he kept quiet.

I didn’t know what would happen to him now that he was free from Jin’s father, but it was a relief to know he wouldn’t have to put up with extreme tests anymore, he deserved that freedom and i knew he would have more rest from now on. Although i was happy for Yoongi i also couldn’t help but worry about the new hybrid Jin mentioned before, I was afraid he might end up like Yoongi did on his fathers hand, even now that Yoongi was some what free from him I couldn’t help but feel like things weren’t completely over.

I dedicated so many years of my life to this clinic, believing in Jin’s father as the director of this sanctuary a place were hybrids had a chance to make the rest of their lives better, a place where they could heal from their past and recover from their traumas. When I heard about Yoongis past I felt the ground under me fall, at first I couldn’t believe such happened here out of all places and everything we’ve done to help the hybrids. The truth was much harsh then I wanted to believe and I couldn’t help but worry more and more for the hybrids at the clinic, what if it Yoongi wasn’t the only one? What if there were more cases like this still happening?

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if this carry on happening, I’ve taken care of hybrids for so many years they are beings just like us and deserve to be treated fairly. Yet things like this still happen, it wasn’t of my nature to simply let things go as much as I have to focus on Yoongis situation for now, I wouldn’t let things slide that easily. Jin’s father doesn’t deserve to be the director of the clinic, I understand Jin and how hard it must be for him now especially since his own father it’s solid problem here but that doesn’t mean his dad can make those decisions without being held accountable for it, we manage to free Yoongi only because coincidentally another hybrid was there to take his place, what Yoongi went through could still happen to another hybrid and that wasn’t something i wanted to happen and I wouldn’t let it happen.

I made sure Yoongi was left resting and seeing as he went straight to sleep after getting in his room I knew I could leave and he would be fine for now. This week has been very stressful for Yoongi and I kept thinking if rushing with the exams on him wasn’t pushing him too much at this point, from the outside one seemed to be doing much better now but looks could lie when it came to your health and I worried for him more and more. All this time hes been under experiments cold have done some real damage to his body and we had to make sure he was fine - I had to know if he was fine.

Once I got in the small computer room I’m meet with Jin’s figure standing beside one of the assistants who sat on the chair while showing Jin the exams results, this would be my last stop for tonight it was already way past my work time and I had been in the clinic for the entire day to make sure Yoongi was fine after everything that happened. So much had happen today and my body was begging to go home now. I could feel the tiredness at every muscle.

- y/n come look at this - said Jin, once he notice my presence as I approached them.

As I stood beside him I looked up at the exams shown on the screens in front of me, there were two screens in which one showed Yoongis vitals in the moment the exam were taken and the other was a full body image scan from his internal structure and every muscle on his body.

- how is he? - I asked checking the screens.

- he is fine from what we can tell from the results - said the assistant whose name on the badge on his coat said “Jake” while looking up at me and Jin - he does not have any fractures or internal bruises.

- that’s good to know…

- although y/n, i think you should talk to him - Jin added, his eyes stared into mine with worry in that moment.

- why? - i asked noticing the look he shared with the assistant.

- tell her what you said to me - Jin leaned against the table crossing his arms over his chest.

Something seemed to be wrong and I knew it in that moment when Jin turned his gaze away from mine, worry began to boil over every cell on my body. Yoongi didn’t seemed to be okay the whole time during the exam and now that Jin has been acting strangely, I felt even more uneasy.

- well, if you look here y/n… - the assistant Jake said, pointing at the screen in front of him showing Yoongis body scan - you see this red waves of light on his body?

The screen showed Yoongis thermal image scan, commonly used to detect any differences or slight changes on the hybrids health since infrared emissions from a body are directly related to their temperature. From the looks of it his body seems to be emitting more heat then a normal hybrids should, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

- his body temperature seems pretty high, could it be fever? - I asked.

- in this case not exactly, you see the hints of pink around him? - i only nodded to him as he continued explaining, still not understanding what he meant with all that - this kind of waves are hormones and from the looks of it they kept coming back and forth bigger, in this scale it means the hybrid is under heat.

- what? - I exclaimed.

- i felt skeptical at first too, since you mentioned that he has no heat - Jin added, turning to look at me - but the exams tell otherwise.

- behavior exams would have to be taken if you want to make sure of it but, it is very clear in the scan that he is in heat - the assistant Jake affirmed.

- I understand… its just, why would he lie about it? - i held my forehead in contemplation, walking to the other side of the room I didn’t know what to do in this moment and as i turned to Jin feeling as lost as he seemed i knew were complicated now.

- maybe he.. he was trying to delay the mating process - Jin muttered.

I didn’t know how to feel in that moment, it was much clear that Yoongi has been lying this entire time about his heat and I couldn’t deny any of it. I was disappointed to know he’s been hiding that from me all this time, i felt a little betrayed even but I couldn’t blame him for hiding it from me as much as i hated to admit, Yoongi has been through a lot is natural that he wouldn’t trust so easily. The fact that he has been hiding his thought meant we couldn’t hold the proper care for him, he could be in much discomfort if not taken care of too.

I kept thinking about Jin’s words for the rest of the night, Yoongi had good reason for trying to delay the procedures since he’s been through much worst and i wondered if he thought it wasn’t just a get away to hurt him and for that reason he tried to delay the process, It was great to know that Yoongi was perfectly fine after all that hes been through but the fact that he was hiding from me his heat this whole time made me uneasy. It meant i was completely wrong this whole time about him, I couldn’t help but feel like a failed to notice something so crucial this whole time. I should’ve know it before anyone since i was the closest to him and now his actions so far had a complete different meaning especially since i knew the truth now.

Later as me and Jin were exiting the clinic he made sure to assure me he would be taking care of Yoongi tomorrow since i wasn’t going to be present, while telling me to rest for the big day on Monday we said our goodbyes.

My body was completely exhausted, once i got home all i could do was fall over the sofa tiredly and contemplate todays events even though all I wanted was to rest different from my body my mind simply couldn’t turn off. I couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi, replying all of his behaviors in my head collecting every piece to put together the puzzle I didn’t when i was with him in the clinic. The more i thought about it the more guilty i felt, it was clear from the moment i saw him for the first time and yet it went right past me. I had been working with hybrids for so long that something like this shouldn’t go unnoticed by a doctor, i simply ignored all of the signals. Feeling even more embarrassed i had let myself wonder to the point i let him bite me and do even more after - why on earth would he do that if not from being under heat? - Yoongi wasn’t heaving bad side effects from the heat stimulants when he acted out and attacked someone, it was clear to me since he was actually in heat but I couldn’t picture why he acted that way to someone, if the heat stimulants were effecting him this whole time it would explain why he felt attracted to me - i still couldn’t understand why he would attack someone and i kept rethinking again and everything but nothing came to mind.

What was i suppose to do with this information now? Yoongi could be lying about more things to me and I wouldn’t even know. Jin did advise me into talking to him about it but how can I believe now?

As angry as i was with him now, i know he didn’t do it on purpose. He must have a reason for hiding things about himself, as Jin mentioned he must be trying to delay the mating process but I couldn’t help thinking there was more to it then it shows. I can’t blame him for that even if it makes me angry, i too am lying and hiding things from him - after all he was the victim here not me.

I still can’t believe how messy my emotions have become ever since i meet him, the more time i spent with him the more he captivated me in ways i never thought were possible. I never once felt this way about a hybrid before, it was never a problem treating them until a meet Yoongi. The snake hybrid i never even though to meet once was now under my care, more then that i manage to break the rules of the clinic because of him and the more I told myself I wouldn’t cross those lines again i simple failed miserably.

Looking back now i don’t really know what about him that makes my body burn in the best way possible but every time i was with him it felt like every cell on my body wanted to be close to him. I didn’t wanted to cross that line again if it meant hurting him.

i just had to do the right thing for now.

For the both of us.

[…]

Sunday went by so fast I didn’t really got much rest. I bearly had any sleep last night, kept thinking about Yoongi and an unsettling feeling was boiling up inside me the more i thought about today. Meeting Yoongi today shouldn’t be so hard after all i was his doctor but we crossed that line so many times our relationship was anything but a normal doctor and patient type of relationship anymore. I didn’t know were to stand in this i know i didn’t stoped myself from going over the lines and that led to the moment i was most afraid of, my emotions were everywhere torn into pieces and spread all over the floor. It felt like i was sinking alone in a boat. All my fear were washed away from my mind as soon as it as with Yoongi, everything made sense to me but as soon as i left his room I’m once again alone in that boat.

Trying to ignore those feelings were useless now, I can’t hide from him how i feel. I’ve been trying miserably to do that and it only got us both hurt, i wanted to tell him everything but that meant Alison telling him the truth about this whole process to begin with. It was selfish of me to think of that, what would he think of me once i tell him? I certainly don’t expect a hug from him, he would probably hate me. After everything i felt like I owed him the truth, he must think I’m playing with his feelings and since he is in heat all his senses were in a much higher frequency. To distract myself from the nervous feeling that runs down my whole body, i tried to think about my tasks for the day ahead of me useless as his lies were still stuck in my head.

The whole night i kept rethinking about the incident that led him into bitting another coworker at the clinic, I was afraid he hurt someone without a reason now that i knew he was hiding his heat and more than anything i feared it was because of me.

Hybrids in heat can get very dangerous sometimes, their instincts are at maximum speed going beyond any rational thought. If taken too lightly it can end up very messy - i took it much lightly that time by ignoring clear sings of heat all because it came from Yoongi - all this time I’ve been so caught up in my feelings for him I didn’t notice how much that would cost me. I’ve never had that problem before but Yoongi just had that hypnotic aura around him I didn’t even notice when it was too late. Questioning even more my capabilities as his doctor, maybe it was best if i took some time out of this.

I keep getting distracted by him every time I’m with him and that is costing us too much, maybe I’m not the right person to do this as Jin had believed. Certainly falling in love with his patient didn’t include in that faith.

The more that creeped into my mind the more stressed i felt, since today was the first step for the mating process i was already making my way to Yoongis mating room to encounter Jin there and from then carry on a quick check up on Yoongi before anything happens, the hybrids would meet for the first time today and all i could think about was the unsettling feeling inside my stomach.

While being free from the directors claws Yoongi would still proceed with the mating since Jin decided that carry on the mating process would be more beneficial for the hybrids as they would be able to meet someone just like themselves for the first time and have the opportunity to engage on their journey together. Now that we found out about Yoongis heat as well Jin thought it would be much better for him since things were escalating faster then he thought.

Hybrids have the natural need of a mate, it is more then sexual desire but a connection they can count on and protect. Hybrids without a mate often end up in severe depression and in very rare cases they might die of loneliness.

The importance of the mating process goes beyond continuing the species.

As I’m making my way through the white corridors of the seventh floor to Yoongis mating room I find Jin also going in the same direction, his attention fully on the papers he had at hands. I quickly matched up with him finally getting his reaction to my presence.

He gave me a small smile before turning to look ahead of us as we got closer to Yoongis room.

- how are you feeling about today? - he asks.

- nervous but.. excited for Yoongi - i tell him, trying my best to ignore the bitterness under my tongue.

- me too, i truly hope this goes well for him - he added, before signaling towards the door for Yoongis room.

I quickly made my way to opened for us inserting the code for it on the digital screen beside the door, it made a sound before opening completely and i walked in before Jin.

The lights were on a warmer tone then usual and the room temperature seemed more humid this time, aware of Yoongis presence lying down on his bed almost fully covered on the messy sheets of his nest if not for his dark hair you could bearly tell he was there, at out noisy entire he slowly began to get up. The view of his full figured instantly making my heart beat faster from both nervous and eagerness at the same time. Once I heard the sound of the door closing behind me as Jin took place beside me giving me a small smile of encouragement and I took a few breaths before approaching Yoongi on his bed as he slowly sit up staring at both Jin and i.

- hey Yoongi, i came to check your skin today, mind if i do? - i ask him softly, his eyes went from Jin to me before tiredly nodding.

It felt much different seeing him now I didn’t want to make this uncomfortable but something already felt wrong when i saw him today. It just seemed like the Yoongi i knew before wasn’t here anymore, i know it was him right there but something about him was different. Maybe it was just me and my point of view from him had changed since the exams came proving about his heat, all my internal monologues about his behavior and the fact that there was much more that he was hiding.

I can’t just make him tell me everything and that wasn’t what I wanted, what I wanted was for him to trust me but that wasn’t something you could force. It just bothers me how he didn’t trust me yet when I had all those feelings for him boiling inside me to the point i could feel the bitterness at the tip of my throat.

I watched as Yoongi got up not saying anything as he unbuttoned his white shirt to expose his scales, walking closer to me stopping a feet away in front of me while he did so. Aware of how he kept looking behind me at Jin, i could only wonder why he seemed to be so concerned about his presence every time he was around but, now that i know the truth about Jin’s father i can only assume is because he knows Jin’s the son of the men who did this to him.

Once he was done I started by examining the scales on his neck carefully moving the shirt away to enough uncover more of his skin, i was glad to see his neck scales seemed fine now moving on to the scales on his ribs the last time I checked them he had some deep scratches on them but now it seemed it had healed much more, Yoongi was recovering pretty fast that was good news at least.

I moved around him to check his back sliding the shirt down to expose the skin for my eyes, his back was the part we’re the most damage was done but now the marks of scratching were almost completely healed.

- your skin is in much better condition - i comment walking around to stand in front of him.

- that’s good to hear - Jin added, a smile on his face walking over to us to hand me Yoongis medicine.

- thanks Jin - i took the small container from his hands, ignoring the small mint our finger slightly brushed over each others.

Looking up to Yoongi as he seemed to sand daggers through his eyes at Jin, the tension was set in the room way before I had stared but now it was even thicker. Cleaning my throat to get his attention which worked as he now started into my eyes with his dark eye dark glossy ones.

- here this are supplements, you’ll take them for a while - i tell him while handing him the pills - since you just started eating again you’ll need this to help balance your diet.

He nodded taking the pills from my hand and swallowing them all at once.

- I’ll get you some water… - before i could take one step away from him he held my arm back, pulling me towards him.

- don’t need it - he murmured over my face, eyes looking for mine as I nervously looked anywhere but him.

It wasn’t too much but a single act could spike a different thought on Jin, i worried he would get things wrong or not so since it wasn’t a lie something was going on between me and Yoongi but now it wasn’t the time for that. His grip over my arm wasn’t too hard and that wasn’t what was making me even more nervous now, the fact that Jin was present there was. Usually Yoongi doesn’t go too far in front of someone else and it made me anxious that he had pulled me too close, the last thing i wanted was for anyone to find out about us. More especially, Jin.

- ok.. - i pushed him slightly away.

I didn’t know how to act in that moment, forcing myself to look up at Jin who just stood there looking at us questioning, he didn’t comment but I knew he catched something the moment our eyes met.

- just got a message from Namjoon he’s ready now, can we carry on? - Jin said.

I was thankful for the change of subject, if he would ask about it later I wasn’t so sure. Jin was more invested on Yoongis case now and from everything that has happened he wanted to get all the details from him to make sure we could treat him with anything he might need.

If Yoongi was showing signs of discomfort with someone we must separate them immediately and it is the opposite we need to know why to ensure his recovery. Being closed to people when you need to be taken care of is not the best scenario. I didn’t know if Jin was catching on it but I couldn’t bet on it to find out.

Yoongi was showing more signs of heat as his need for closure was growing more by now, i didn’t wanted to test how territorial he could get with Jin’s presence.

- oh, yes - I turned back to Yoongi - today is the first step of the mating process, we’ll introduce you to your… partner, soon she will be brought here is that okay with you?

We had everything set up already but asking him first was a safety measure, if one of the hybrids didn’t felt like they can go on to meet we need to cancel it immediately and then make sure they are able to carry on later.

He sighted loudly and then nodded, closing the buttons of his shirt impatiently.

It seemed I wasn’t the only bitter one about this. He wasn’t much happy about the mating from the moment he heard about it, I still didn’t know why thought. Yoongi was the first male hybrids I’ve ever treated who didn’t seem to want to mate, although the signs he needed that were clear and he could bearly hide them anymore, he kept his guard. In that thought I remember how he’s been lying about it, we still had much to talk about that but there wasn’t the right time for it so for now we just had to get over the first step of the mating process.

A grip on my hand made me stop on my tracks as I had turned to leave already, I looked over my shoulder seeing as Yoongi was standing right behind me. Turning completely to look at his face, his mouth opened and closed a few times and he looked down still holding my hand.

- are you going to watch this? - he murmured only for me to hear, his question catches me off guard, dark eyes looking behind me and I didn’t need to turn to know he was looking at the mirrored glass wall.

- I have to, is part of the process - i tell him honestly.

He nodded understanding, letting go of my hand. I give him a small smile before turning to leave.

Nothing much then both hybrids being introduced and having a time for themselves alone to get to know each other would happen now, although we didn’t know how Yoongi would react since his heat had already started. We don’t usually put hybrids in heat to mate but let them get to know each other before that happens to ensure their safety, since his case was very delicate we had no choice but to continue with the process.

Jin and I left his room as he massage Namjoon to confirm he could bring the female hybrid to the mating room, for the first steps of the mating process as their doctors we must watch over them as they meet for the first time and ensure they are okay while doing so. Anything could happen in that moment from good to worst case we should still be ready and prepared to assist the hybrids.

For that a small room was designed right beside his separate by the window, he couldn’t see us here only his own reflection.

Me and Jin quickly took our place there waiting for Namjoon to come, i could see Yoongi in the room through the glass window as he just stood there in the middle of his room were I had left him waiting.

Jin was walking from side to side looking at his phone from time to time he seemed nervous but excited at the same time, i wish i could share the same feeling but the more i waited for what was to happen the more bitterness seems to grow at the tip of my throat making me swallow hard multiple times.

It was so selfish of me to feel this way - I couldn’t only think of that - getting attached to a hybrid on this level wasn’t right especially for my position. I could only get hurt in the end. Yet here i stood, feeling my heart beating faster and faster as the minutes passed, stomach doing flips inside me.

The was the muffled sound of the door in the room opening but i didn’t look up, I was afraid to even look at it. Anxiously staring at floor instead, Jin moved beside me to get closer to the mirrored window thankfully not noticing my face. The sound of Namjoons voice on the other side of the wall filled the small room I was in as he entered the mating room with the female hybrid.

That was it, my heart clenches in my chest. Looking up finally to see his back turned to us as he faces Yoongi a few feet away from him and the presence of the female snake hybrid right beside Joon.

My eyes immediately turned to the female hybrid, it was the first time I saw her too the only thing I knew about here was that she wasn’t a black mamba like Yoongi but a python. No one knew if breeding two different snake species would work in their favor but snake hybrids were already difficult to find and there wasn’t much choice.

I could only see her from the back but I could tell she was much smaller then him, maybe a few inches shorter then me, she had long black hair that went down her hips and from the looks she had a very petit figure wearing the usual gray uniform from the clinic.

Namjoons voice filled my ears as he quickly introduced them to one another, none of the hybrids moving forward or saying anything as he speaks only. The introduction didn’t took much longer for my displeasure and once he was done with his he left the room, leaving both hybrids alone.

It seemed like the moment he closed that door to leave my insides were doing a roll back and forth like a roller coaster, all the air in my lungs were gone completely as i watched both hybrids through the glass wall, bottom lip harshly pressed against my teeth as if it would stop my stomach from doing flips.

They couldn’t see us here and i was glad, for once i felt like I would be able to hold my facial expressions as my whole world seemed to be falling apart. Voices deep down in my mind screaming even more, louder each time.

‘’you should be happy for him’’

‘’you don’t deserve him’’

‘’stop acting so selfish’’

I knew he would forget me completely once he meet the female hybrid, someone who’s just like him. She would be better to him then me, hybrids were made for each other not for humans. We were here to help them not use them, that hybrid would be able to complete him in a way I could never and can share with him the connection he needs. I should’ve knew better before, hybrids act on instinct completely when it comes to their heat. I should’ve know better before letting he take me in the bathtub, before he kissed me. I should’ve had set the lines between us, now is too late.

Watching as he was the first one to make a move and walk up to the female hybrid, heart clenching in my chest as he closed the distance between them completely, grabbing the female hybrids face to turn to the other side.

The air was punched out of my lungs at the sight of them, i wished i could just brushed it off and forget it already. But the sight of in front of me was the hard pill I had to swallow, specially once Yoongi leaves a lick over her cheek.

At that i found the strength to turn around, lucky for me no one notice my displeasure as i did so.

My bottom lip burned from biting to hard into it, the taste of blood wasn’t enough to cover the bitterness though. I didn’t wanted to look at it anymore, focusing on the white wall instead - so this is what is like to have your heart broken?

How can it even feel this bad?

From that point things happen much faster, like a rushed dream. I stared over Namjoon in front of me who was now watching both hybrids with a hard expression on his face, I couldn’t tell why as I didn’t have the strength to watch anymore.

- get out of here.

Yoongis mufled voice on the other side of the wall filled my ears, I felt a cold chill down my spine at the words. His voice was bitter full of displeasure, something I never heard before even when he clearly showed dislike towards the other doctor.

In that second Namjoons eyes turned to mine worried.

- we need to hurry there.

He didn’t have to say twice. I only nodded in agreement fallowing him out of the small room and rushing towards the mating room, something seemed to have desperately wrong while they were there. This was the reason why we had to stay by, anything can happen to the hybrids when they are alone.

The weight in my chest still present as i entered the mating room behind Namjoon and he didn’t hesitate to approach the female hybrid carefully, leading her out of there while muttering words of assurance to her.

I didn’t move at all, my feet wouldn’t let me and every time I looked at him that image popped in my mind but I shouldn’t just stand there this wasn’t the time to let my feelings get in the middle.

I waited until i was sure Namjoon had left with the female before saying anything, something had gone wrong between them already even though they didn’t share a single word, Yoongi had rejected the female hybrid.

- Yoongi, you okay? - i carefully walked to him.

- no… - he said, he had his back turned to me the whole time - i dont wanna do this…

I sighted looking at the floor. He never wanted in the first place, we only did what we thought was going to be the best for him due to the circumstances but it completely slipped out of my mind we had been ignoring his displeasure with the whole process.

- I know… and I’m sorry for not respecting your feelings against it - I muttered, walking towards him till I was close enough to his figure.

I didn’t know what to do, what would be safe to do in that moment. He had shown anger before and I didn’t know if he wouldn’t do the same to me but something about how his tone was lower now gave me the confidence to carefully i hold his hand in mine feeling his cold fingers intertwined with mine, my heart was instantly filled with relief. Watching as he turned around slowly to face me, I looked up into his dark eyes as with his other hand he reached to hold my chin between his fingers so carefully like a touch of feathers.

- i want you y/n, no one else - he whispered his confession over my lips - just you.

- Yoongi…

The words were completely stolen away from me just like my breath.

- please… - he took another step forward making me take another backwards - have my heat with me.

His words were making me feel dizzy, he continued to walk making me nervously take steps back. All air in my lungs were punched out of me.

Heat?

Why would he say such thing right now?

Why would he make me so flustered after licking someone else’s face?

I was completely unable of forming a single same thought in that moment, the heat rising up to my checks as he continued with that game until his words repeated so much in my head all I could think about was;

- you lied to me.

It came out breathlessly through my bloody lips, enough to stop him in his tracks once he had me caged between his body and his bad. Dark eyes locked into mine, the back of my knees touching the edge of the bed and in a breath of moment he simply pushed me over the it and a gasp left my lips, I look up at him now sitting in front of him as his lowers himself down between my legs on his knees.

- i did.. - he confesses, hands slowly reaching up to rest over my thighs - you lied too.

I wasn’t surprised to hear that, I knew he was aware of it.

- i don’t wanna lie anymore - i sighted, his hand held my chin to look at him - the truth is…

My words stopped him from leaning forward, he looked up from my lips to my eyes clearly not expecting me to continue but I had to. This conversation had to continue, I can’t hide things from him anymore.

-the person responsible for hurting you all this years set this process up, they wanted to take you down but not before…. - I paused, taking another breath before continuing looking down from his face to my hands over my lap - to make you reproduce another of your specie.

I don’t lie how much relief I felt after telling him, like a weight had left my chest. But no relief was enough to cover the pain of telling him the truth, the fear of losing him once he knows everything.

- I see… well, I expected that - he spat bitterly, getting up to leave.

That fear creeping inside my chest once again, I desperately held his hand before he could take another step.

- I couldn’t let them do that to you… - I tried to explain - that’s why I’ve been…

- that’s why you’ve been so kind to me? - he scoffed, pulling away from me - no wonder you’ve always been so against us being together.

- Yoongi…

- why don’t you go back to that Jin guy you like so much? - he spat.

When he took the first step away was filled by a an unsettling fear, I could no longer take this. I’ve been miserably trying to hide my feelings thinking this was the right the thing to do for him but now, after everything and seeing him go like that I couldn’t keep failing him.

- i said no more lies - I murmured holding his hand before he could walk away, pulling him closer till he was at the same height as my eyes - i.. i want to be with you too…

The words left my lips breathlessly, in that exact moment with him I realized I could no longer hide my feelings for him. I didn’t wanted to hurt him and keeping things from Yoongi all this time was the worst decision I made. So I took another deep breath as he kneeled down in font of me again, before I continued.

- the truth is, this whole time i was afraid - i tell him honestly - I didn’t know if any of this was right, when i first heard about your case I immediately knew i had to save you and now that i know everything i just… i dont wanna lose you Yoongi. I want you too.

At this point i was biting into my lower lip so hard to stop the tears from falling, looking anywhere but him right now. My face burned with shyness at my confession, it was too late to hide anything, too late to stop what we created when clearly none of us wants to.

I felt his hold on my chin again one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me in a hug. I held him tightly only realizing in that moment how badly I needed that, feeling his warm body against mine, all the bitterness from before completely melted away. As he pulled away from me enough only to look into my eyes, his lips brushing softly over my cheek i could feel a small smile forming over his lips.

- took you long enough… - he murmured against my cheek.

-Yoongi… - i groaned, feeling my eyes burn.

With those little words from him I knew everything was gonna be fine, as I rested my forehead against his feeling all the worries wash away from my mind as he softly caressed my jaw.

- mate with me y/n… - he murmured against my face softly - please, my whole body is burning for you if i don’t take you now I’m gonna go insane.

- but I’m human… I can’t - i said, nervously but he quickly cuts me off.

- that don’t mean anything to me, if you dont mind me as I’m - he said breathlessly, holding my chin to look into his dark glossy eyes.

- i don’t mind you at all…

- then… - he brushed his fingers softly over my jaw down my neck, pulling my shirt slightly down show more of the skin.

From the look in his eyes i knew exactly what he meant by that, i knew this was not the best choice to make in this moment but i didn’t wanted to stop him. I wanted him just as bad.

- you can bite me now….

I had no intention to deny it anymore how much I longed for Yoongi. All this time I’ve been helplessly trying to suppress my feelings for him, they only grew stronger. Now I can’t do that anymore, I don’t think I can ever see him again with someone else who isn’t me.

The words that left my lips seemed to initiate a fire in his dark eyes, I never seen before and just like a touch of a switch in a second he was a complete different him, burning desire under those glossy eyes stared right into mine before he finally claimed my lips between his.

A groan of pleasure raised from his chest vibrating through his whole body, pushing me back into the bed as he kneeled between my legs one hand beside my head to support his upper body.

He pulled away gently as he draws over my jaw with his fingers, my hands rested at my sides feeling my whole body melting at his touch. Eyes locked over his wet lips, he seemed to notice his effect over me chuckling softly before taking my bottom lip between his again this time sucking deliciously hard on it then pulling away once again, teasing me to his own pleasure.

- i taste blood on your lips…. - he murmured, I looked up to his eyes as he caressed said bottom lip.

- oh, sorry?

- why did you hurt yourself? - he asked, tracing down my jaw to my neck then sliding over my collar bones trespassing my shirt.

- I was…. nervous a guess… when I watched you guys…- my cheeks burned under his eyes, I could bearly form any sentences with his finger trailing down my chest.

- don’t do that again - he said, holding my chin up to look at his eyes - don’t hurt yourself because of me again.

- I won’t… i mean… no-

He cuts me off immediately with leaning down my lips to lick over my bottom lip, feeling his wet tongue over my lips were the end of me. All self control I thought I had were gone in that instant and pulling him even more closer to kiss him, finger closing between the back of his hair.

My own moan was engulfed by his groan against my lips as I claimed his tongue, kissing him hungrily.

I didn’t wanted that moment to end ever, to feel his hands rushing all over my body as our bodies bun with desire the need to feel each other growing at every second. In that moment nothing else mattered, it was just the two of us intertwined with each other, loving each other desperately how we’ve been yearning for.

I had no thoughts of a tomorrow, all I wanted was in this present moment. It never matter that he was a hybrid, I was attracted to him the moment my eyes fell over him. Knowing he was different, knowing everything and that he lied I still loved him. I still want him, for who he is no matter what.

Pulling his hair harder the moment he left my lips to leave kisses over my jaw, not trying to be careful anymore as he continued to leave love bite’s trailing down my neck.

- you’re mine.. - he whispers, kissing softly under my ear.

I closed my eyes harder feeling my whole body melt under him, holding into him tightly draining my face on his neck feeling his scales at the tip of my nose. A shaky breath leaving his lips in that moment and my entire body tingled at the knew erogenous spot I found on him, burning with excitement i begin to kiss softly over the scales on his neck feeling his breathing fastening above my skin.

A sentiment of accomplishment filled me encouraging me to be bolder and I carefully bit into his ear lobe, I didn’t know what I was doing and was immediately surprised when he held my arms above my head in a second after i bit him.

Looking up into his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine completely breathless, cheeks red and sweat beginning to form on his skin. He seemed just as surprised.

- sorry… - I managed to mumble.

- no… I’ve never been bitten before, it’s so good… - he confessed.

- does it mean more to you? - I asked, still confused and hot under him.

He only nodded over me a smirk forming on his lips. My cheeks instantly turned red.

- means the same for when I bite you… - he murmured - you’re mating with me… you’re accepting me.

- Yoongi… - I free from his hold over my hands to close my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me - I’ll always accept you.

Claiming his lips with mine again, this time i could feel all his body melt above mine with all his worries washing off of him in that moment.

If only I could froze this moment with him and stay in here forever, maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow so much. If we would ever be able to be together like again.

Bold of me to assume this wouldn’t have any consequences, bold of me to let myself cross that line again today of all days.

The moment I heard the sound of the door opening I knew it was my doom and I didn’t think twice before pushing Yoongi away, quickly getting up into a sitting position as he reluctantly stood right there here not letting me go.

The mixed feelings I had in that moment would never be enough to describe how desperate I felt the second my eyes leaned over Jin’s figure standing right there.

No one said a single word for the longest second of my life, Jin looked at us then turned to the side showing his profile. Keeping his composure before speaking.

- I see what happened here, for now I need to speak in private with y/n - he said.

I couldn’t decipher what emotions exactly were crossing his eyes in that moment, I’ve never seen that side of him in all years of my career.

Looking up at Yoongi again pushing him by the chest slightly to get up this time he moved away for me, reluctantly but still. Before I could even take a step on Jin’s direction Yoongi held me back by the waist, turning to look at him now only to find his gaze staring back at Jin.

I could feel his whole body tensed up beside me and I knew he was ready to take matter in his own hands against Jin if he need to, this was not the best moment for such thing to happen Yoongi clearly took Jin’s words as a confrontation, a challenge against him over me.

- shit, Jin… I… - I breathed out shakily.

Noticing how I felt Yoongi instantly held my waist tighter.

- i don’t intend on making things more difficult than they have to be - Jin said, yes looking over Yoongi.

- really? Doesn’t look like - Yoongi spat at him, taking front of me protectively.

- no, Yoongi is fine… I should talk with him - i said, gently holding his arm.

He kept his gaze over Jin’s figure before slowly looking back at me.

- you’re leaving me… - it wasn’t a question.

- I’m not… ever - I murmured back to him, holding his face between my hands as i softly caressed his ear lobe the same I had bitten into before - I’m yours and you’re mine.

He closed his eyes leaning over my touch before slowly nodding.

- i’ll be right back okay? - at my words he opened his eyes, looking at Jin before turning back to me.

- ok.

I didn’t wanted to.

But I had to go now and fix things with Jin or else things my go down pretty badly especially since Yoongi feels like his territory has just been invaded, he was still under heat and could act out at Jin. I would hate to happen because of me, I must clear this out now. That is if I can even do that, i knew this would happen sooner or later I just hoped it could’ve at least wait until tomorrow.

With one last look at Yoongi taking a picture of his beautiful face right now to look back whenever I wanted to, I didn’t know how things would go from now or if I would ever get another chance to see him. I could only hope for.

I turned around to leave fallowing as Jin exists the room leaving the door opened for me, i don’t look back if I did I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.

In my head I couldn’t even complain about my own stupidity, feeling like a child that was going to be lectured by her parents for not fallowing the rules. I didn’t meet Jin’s gaze once we were out of Yoongis room, being embraced by the cold air the corridors of the seventh floor. I felt even smaller under his gaze.

He stood there in front of me not saying anything and I could only feel my anxiousness grow, bitting into my bottom lip I feared now would be the last time I’d see Yoongi.

- y/n…

- shit, Jin! - I interrupted him, helplessly feeling like my whole world has coming to an end. Eye burning with tears.

- y/n let me begin… - he said, hands holding my shoulders to make me look at him and I did.

I expected to see anger on his eyes, disgust even disappointment but I didn’t. He still had the same softness in his features as he always had.

- i understand, okay? - he softly said - i… know it might sound crazy but, is okay.

Is okay?

- what? Why?

- you… you’re just like my mom - he sighted, a small smile forming on his lips.

I was completely at loss for words, just what was happening right now?

I felt like I was getting dizzy at this point, I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth. I know Jin was a kind soul but this doesn’t make any sense to me, he shouldn’t be okay with this. What is happening?

All the years I spent working with Jin brought us closer to the point I knew, the more I looked into his eyes I knew something wasn’t right, he was hiding something from me in that moment and i wants sure if I truly wanted to hear it now.

- I’m so sorry to throw this at you now, I’ll explain everything later - he said, and I begin to feel even more anxious - all you need to now now is that, Yoongi is… he’s my brother.

Then the ground underneath me opened and swallowed me whole.

Shit, Jin.

Note: Jin watching the drama unfolds in the other room like 👁️👄👁️. Finally heeeeeereeeee god this was a ride. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I liked (and stressed over it) to write. WHAT THEY BROTHERS??!

See you guys on the next one!!! It’s not too long but I think is good. Sorry for any grammatical errors! Love you all!!

Tag list: @ldysmfrst @i-have-no-life-charlie @juju-227592 @shycreationdreamland @yoongiwantsme @effielumiere @glosstwn @danielle143 @confessionsofascientist @dragons-flare @shadowyjellyfishfest @savannahhsworld @crystallizedtime e @fairywriter-oracle @rosquilleta @celticcountrygal @m4gg13-g @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @slut-4-yourmom @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @momnomnom @catlove83 @mukeovernetflix @yoongislatinagff @illnevertrustmyselfagain @cuntessaiii i @starrlo0ver @lopprhe @acquiescence804 @locket-hrt @prettytaesworld @myspi2010 @moonlightshostage @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @damiiworld @armydgirl @jaxyy219

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 💖☺️

[hamiltonaf]

One Night Stand | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Requested: Anonymous

Word Count: 3.3K

Warnings: Infidelity / Cursing / Angst but turns into fluff

A/N: Hello loves, apologies for posting this requested after weeks…I’ve been away on holiday for a while and the jet lag is killing me. Sorry I got carried away with writing this. Also, I’m not forgiving when it comes to cheating, but for the request…the reader has a forgiving heart. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Summer break seemed to have a bug outbreak that every footballer was either already in the USA or were on their way. Kylian insisted that we should travel to Miami but unfortunately the timing wasn’t right for me to tag along with him since I had 2 final exams. However, the best part about being done with my exams is not the freedom itself, but it was my birthday.

I usually don’t enjoy celebrating birthdays, nothing is that exciting about getting older each year, but I do look forward to spending time with my loved ones, also not gonna lie that I appreciate the love from everyone.

I studied well in advance for these exams so I wasn’t too stressed out. The week of the exams I just spent my time revising and gosh I couldn’t wait to be over and done with it all.

Besides the anxiety that I was hiding, I was quite annoyed and bothered from the fight Kylian and I had just before he left to Miami. He tried to convince me to spend my birthday in Miami, which as lovely as it sounds I wasn’t feeling it this year. I wanted to spend my birthday casually with family and friends, basically a get together without the formality of it being a party.

It would’ve been a bonus for me to go to Miami with him because besides celebrating my birthday, beforehand Kylian had a party at the Hamptons to attend which was hosted by Michael Rubin. Sounds incredible but unfortunately the Hamptons party fell on the day of my last exam and the next day is my birthday. The dates were clashing and it just wasn’t working out so we both ended up arguing.

Basically the math wasn’t mathing for me to go. In the end of it, Kylian said that he’d be here for my birthday and he’d instead take Brice as his plus one for the Hamptons party. I was okay with it but low-key I was disappointed that he was so adamant on going to this party. I get that it’s an A-list celebrity party, but I mean he goes for those kind of events all the time, what was it for him to miss this one ? I tried to put myself into his shoes and understood that he really needed a break from this season so he deserved a holiday, but the other side of me wanted to spend the holiday with him.

Even though we got through our differences, the tension was still in the air since he left a few days early. From the looks of paparazzi pictures on social media, he seemed to have the time of his life away. I hated that I couldn’t stop myself from reading the comments under his papped pictures.

“Where’s his girlfriend, (Y/N) ?”

“Isn’t (Y/N)’s bday coming up ?”

“Did Ky and (Y/N/N) break up ?”

“I would’ve expected his gf to be with him during the break, we barely see them together in public :(“

Our conversations for the past few days were normal, just the usual catch up on each others day and him asking about my exams. My mood was at ease and I was overjoyed once I left the exam room of my final exam. I first messaged Kylian about my excitement for him to be back and how much I miss him, but then it hit me with the time difference he’s still sleeping.

I spent the day at my parents house to enjoy some quality time with them. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that Kylian was trying to video call me.

“Hey handsome” I greeted. He just woke up and ugh I miss him so much. “Ma chérie…how did it go ?” He asked in his husky morning voice. Melting. “It went well. I’m just glad it’s all over” I sighed. “Ahh that’s good. I’m sure you did amazing as always. You’re one of the most smartest people I know” he smiled half asleep. “Hmm, are you trying to butter me up ahead of my birthday” I raised a brow. “Have to be nice to the birthday girl” he winked. “Ky ! You’re indirectly calling me dumb every other day” I pouted. “Babe jokes aside, I mean it when I say you’re one of the most smartest people I know and not forgetting how talented you are” he smiled. “Oh stop it” I faked wiping a tear. “Being on a break isn’t the same without you, I really miss you and I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. I thought maybe if we cooled off our minds away for a day it would help - that’s probably one of the most dumbest things I thought. If anything, I miss you more than usual and can’t wait to be back home to spend your special day with you” he pouted.

“It is what it is Ky. We fought and we apologised, well you apologised about 20 times which really wasn’t necessary because I didn’t stop loving you. Just forget about it though, it’s done, it’s in the past now. I just want you back home” I pouted back. “Just a few more hours. Straight after the party I’ll take a flight back home and I’ll be back in time for your birthday” he said as he got up from the bed, revealing his bare torso. “Are you trying to tease me ?” I raised a brow. “Is it working ?” He smirked. “Kylian. Stop it” I blushed. “Alright alright. I need to get ready and do some things before going for the party. I’ll call you later okay ? Je t’aime” he blew a kiss. “Okayyy… have fun, but not too much fun. Just kidding. Love youuu baby ! Ciao” I said lastly as I returned the kiss and ended the call.

The last I spoke to Kylian was during our video call in the afternoon and I haven’t heard from him since. I even messaged Brice but he wasn’t much help - I asked him where Kylian was and he told me that they both were at the party. I tried not to think about it but I hated that deep down it actually bothered me that he didn’t even show the slightest care for my birthday.

Midnight struck and my family, and friends had surprised me with a cute cake, beautiful bouquet arrangements and lots of gifts. I was so overwhelmed that I actually started crying whilst everyone started singing for me. After some time one of my friends had asked what did Kylian get me and if he phoned. I can’t believe I had to lie for him. I tried to justify that he hasn’t called due to the time difference and him being at the Hamptons party.

To my luck, all my friends had left after about an hour. I couldn’t handle lying for Kylian and faking it all in front of my friends and family. I never felt more shit than right now, a mix of emotions ran through me, I don’t know whether to cry or call him up and give him an earful. I stayed up for s few hours, it was well after midnight in Miami. He forgot. Tears threatened to escape and I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep.

I woke up after 3 hours, anxiously checking my phone for anything on my social media or messages. My socials were bombarded with messages from fans, friends and family. Even Kylian’s parents and Ethan wished me, yet nothing from Kylian.

As petty as I wanted to be, I was itching to talk to Kylian because I was livid. I tried video calling him the first time. Nothing. Second attempt. Nothing. Third attempt after a few rings, he finally picked up. “Kylian you better have a damn good excuse as to why you weren’t answering my messages. What the hell happened to you ?” I asked frustrated. “Hmm” he hummed half asleep. “Is this a damn joke” I said as I grew annoyed. “Who’s yelling on the phone ?” said an unfamiliar voice. My body froze and I could feel the blood almost drain from my body. It was a girls voice and he’s still in bed. “Kylian. Who. Is. That ?” I paused between each word. “It’s no one” he lied. That was it. I ended the call.

Did that just happen ? Did I have a fever dream ? I actually pinched myself to confirm that just unfolded. Kylian tries to call me back and I ended the call. Second attempt at calling me and I ended the call again. It went on a few times and I continued ending the call. Brice tried calling me after, I had no intention to hear their lame excuse. I continued to end the call. Eventually I switched off my phone.

Yet again my emotions had taken over me and I cried my heart out. What did I do to deserve this ? So many questions raced through my mind. Who was the girl ? How long has this been going on ? Did he plan this to spend time with her in Miami ? Did he purposely fight with me so we could break up ? My mind was racing. I needed to be completely on my own.

I lied to my parents that I’m going out with my friends for the day. It then hit me that this shit was happening on my birthday. Wow. I needed to let off some steam so I drove off and parked randomly to go for a run. I don’t know where I was going but I continued running until I was so exhausted and couldn’t make it anymore. I finally decided to unlock my phone and wasn’t surprised by the notifications. 25 missed calls from Kylian. 10 missed calls from Brice. 31 messages from Kylian.

Curiosity took over me and I opened the messages. Not like I was going to reply. Basically him saying that it’s not what I think, he’s so sorry, he got drunk at the party and he’s already on his flight back home. I left him on read. I got back to my car and went back to our place. The house felt cold and no longer felt like a home. I went straight to our room and started packing my things. Packing took much longer than expected. I had a bad habit of admiring the gifts he got me and cried at the memory before fighting the thought, and setting the gift aside to give it back.

I got disrupted mid-way when Kylian tried calling and messaging me again. The audacity. Many hours later It was pretty late in the evening, I packed majority of my things, the rest I could get some other time.

Just as I was carrying my belongings downstairs, he walks through the front door calling my name. Shit. “Thank god you’re here. I was worried sick about you. I’m so so sorry I missed your birthday babe” he said as he walked towards me. “Don’t come near me. We’re done” I said as I stormed off back to the room to bring the remainder of the packed things. “What are you doing (Y/N) ?” He asked worried as he followed behind me. “Leaving and getting as far away as possible from you !” I raised my voice.

“Can we just sit down and talk ?” He asked. I slammed a box on the bed as I looked at him standing across from me. “You wanna talk ? Sure. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll do the talking” I said as he then walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down. I walked over to stand in front of him with my arms folded over my chest. “First of all, it’s killing me to know this, did you plan this Miami trip to meet her ?” I said ‘her’ in disgust.

“What ? No ! How could you think that-“ I cut him off. “Kylian, you have some damn nerve to face me and argue with me when you’re the one who fucking cheated” I said. Kylian and myself were shocked by my use of words. This is probably the first time he heard me swear. “Ma chérie, I swear we didn’t sleep together. She took advantage of me and got me drunk. We just kissed” he said. I pressed my lips together firmly and looked up as I felt the tears pool at my eyes. The tears spilled and I couldn’t hear this shit anymore. I walked away from him to grab my stuff. He held me by arm, “Wait” he called. “Leave me alone” I said as I pulled my arm away and walked downstairs.

“You didn’t let me finish” he said which made me stop in my tracks. “I don’t give a damn. I’m not okay. I tried this entire day convincing myself that I’m strong though I know I’m not. I stayed up waiting for you to call or message but I got nothing. I feel like a damn idiot for covering for you when people asked me if you called or messaged or got me anything for my birthday ! I cried myself to sleep and woke up like 3 hours later stressing about you. I don’t even know why I even bothered… oh yeah that’s right, because I loved you. Then I had to be the one to call you to find out that you cheated. How’s that for a birthday present ?” I raised a brow. “I understand you’re upset but you still didn’t let me explain” he argued.

“I couldn’t care whether y’all kissed or if y’all slept together or whatever the fuck actually happened. The fact remains that you cheated and I’m not here for that. Had the tables turned around, you wouldn’t give me a chance either. You had Brice with you the entire time I’m sure” I raised a brow. “Yeah” he answered softly. “So what’s your excuse if Brice was there ?” I asked with my hands on my hips.

“Everything was going fine, I wasn’t even planning to stay till late because I wanted to fly home sooner” he said, to which I didn’t say anything for him to continue. “Just as I was about to leave, she practically grabbed my face and forced me to drink which for all I know could’ve been spiked” he continued. “I was drunk and so was Brice so when we were leaving, she came with” a pang of jealousy struck through me. “Do I know her ? Do you know her ? Who the hell is she ?” I questioned. “She’s just some influencer, I know her but not personally” he answered honestly. “And then ?” I asked. “When I got back to the hotel, she tried kissing me and I didn’t realise what was happening until like a second later. So I pushed her off and I guess I passed out after, that’s when you called not long after… I was half asleep and she was still around”

“Then ?” I raised a brow. “I kicked her out and rushed to leave to come back home” he said as he slowly walked towards me. He grabbed a hold of my hands and rubbed small circles. I pulled my hand away. “Kylian. You can’t just come back and expect me to forget all about this. I don’t even know what to believe at this point” I said softly. “(Y/N) I’m telling the truth” he argued. “You just said that you knew her… our trust is broken ! Forget about what you did for a second. You forgot about my birthday and you didn’t even have the decency to message or call me whilst I stayed up for your dumbass. You know what. I’m done talking. I literally have a migraine at this point. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, I’m living on like 3 hours of sleep… I don’t deserve to feel this shit on my birthday” I said as I burst into tears.

“Baby don’t cry. I swear on my life that I’m telling the truth. I’d never do anything intentionally to hurt you. I’d never want to break your trust. I love you too much to do that” he pouted as he pulled me in for a hug. I didn’t even try to push him away. As much as I was in pain, deep down my heart was saying that he’s telling the truth.

When I broke away from the hug, he wiped away the tears from my face. “It hurts me to see you like this. More especially that I’m the reason for all of this. I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday. I planned a special day for us and unfortunately everything didn’t go as planned. I’m really really sorry for all of this. I love you so so much. It was terrible being without you whilst I was away and now i don’t ever want to leave you. Please don’t give up on us and let me try to get your trust back. I said this earlier and I mean it when I say that I swear on my mum, and my dad, that I didn’t intentionally cheat on you. It was all on that girl” he said wholeheartedly.

I sniffled and wiped away my tears. “I need time” I sighed. A knock at the door interrupted us, that’s when I walked away from him to answer. “Hello” I greeted. “Ahh (Y/N), happy birthday ! I believe these are for you” Kylian’s driver said as he stepped aside and unveiled 10 huge flower arrangements, along with a number of boxes of designer items. “Oh my god” my jaw dropped as I stepped outside. I felt like crying again. “Please don’t tell me you sent these” I said as I turned around to face Kylian. “What..why ? I did…” he said hesitantly.

“You’re making this so hard for me right now” I said in frustration. “First of all, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to get me so much. Flowers alone would’ve been more than enough, you know that by now” I smiled. “I can’t not spoil you on your birthday” he smiled back. “I really appreciate it. Thank you” I said as I pulled him in for a hug. He gave me a tight squeeze for a second before placing a kiss on my forehead. He then pulled me by my hand inside, whilst a few people who came along with the driver helped to bring the gifts inside.

“This was part of your surprise that I had planned. I got all these gifts for you and had them kept away with my mom for the past few days. I felt awful for going away and not spending more time with you. It’s the least I could do to show my appreciation and love for you since you’ve been through it all with me. You deserve nothing but the best, always. Happy Birthday ma chérie” he smiled. “I have no idea how to thank you. I’m so overwhelmed and mixed with emotions. I never ever thought you’d do wrong in my eyes, until today, but I believe I know you very well by now… I know when you’re telling the truth. Sooo… this will all take some time to go back to normal, but I’m willing to look past this and move on from it” I huffed. He caught my by surprise when he engulfed me in a hug. “I love you” he said as he kissed my forehead.

“Can I please kiss you ?” He asked softly. “Ky, now you’re just pushing my limits” I playfully warned. “Just one” he pouted. “Ugh fine” I sighed. He cupped my cheeks as he softly placed his lips on mine. “That’s it for the day” I smiled as I started to walk away. “How about one more ?” He pouted as he trailed behind me. “No Kyky” I laughed as I started running away. “(Y/N)” he whined.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Hold on (I still need you)

Or Bsd except Kyouka doesn't survive.

The plane crashes into the Moby Dick, just as planned. But Demon Snow isn't able to free her in time.

Her sacrifice saves all of Yokohama from destruction. But the only thing anyone can hear are Atsushi's screams.

Akutugawa is caught off guard. He doesn't know what to say, looking at the approaching Dazai and Fukuzawa.

To do something.

Seeking recognition from his former mentor doesn't even cross his mind. The screams of the grieving weretiger are all he can focus on at this time.

"For what it's worth, I think Dazai acknowledged you a long time ago."

But even Dazai, Dazai who always has a remark, an answer for everything, stands stunned. For once in his life, he has no words as he stares at his subordinate.

It only makes Akutugawa more concerned.

Atsushi's screams die down, having noticed the Agency members approach. He turns and looks them both in the eye, while his own blaze with anger.

"Did you know?! Did you plan this?!"

Akutagawa is take aback. He thought he'd bared the brunt of Atsushi's anger, but never had he witnessed him like this.

In any other scenario he'd have scolded the other for speaking so disrespectfully to Dazai.

And yet, he stays silent.

"This was meant to be Kyouka's entrance exam." Explains Dazai, finding his words. He and Fukuzawa take it in turns explaining the events that lead them up to here.

Including her unfortunate passing.

Through it all, Atsushi remains silent. To the point the trio get concerned he isn't listening to them at all.

Dazai reaches out to him but quicker than any of them can blink, Atsushi swats his hand away.

"Was this just a game too you?!"

"Atsushi"

"What, you were gonna dangle the keys to freedom infront of her face and see what would happen?! Is that what you were doing?!"

Dazai shakes his head.

"This was the only solution, even Ranpo knew it was the only way."

Atsushi looks down.

"In every calculation, she survived... None of us saw this coming. If we did we would've changed it all." Said Dazai, putting his hands in his pockets and looking out to the setting sun.

"But we can't predict the future, we didn't predict this." He looks back at Atsushi. "This is not your fault."

Atsushi shakes his head.

"Atsushi"

"She's gone! Kyouka's gone and I let her die!"

Dazai frowns, frankly he'd rather Atsushi throw his words back at him. He would rather Atsushi took his anger out on him, on a plan that had failed.

Rather than taking his anger out on himself.

Atsushi wraps his arms around himself, making himself look smaller. Just like he had in the werehouse, on the the night they met.

"People have been calling me a good for nothing for as long as I can remember."

He looks out towards the skyline. "She trusted me. I gave her hope and she..." Dazai shakes his head a soft smile on his face.

"You found a wandering soul in the dark and you showed her the light. You gave her the best day ever, one she treasured so much. You gave her so much Atsushi, more than you'll ever know."

He puts a hand on Atsushi's shoulder, this time Atsushi doesn't push him away.

"Kyouka made her decision, and she wanted to pass the exam. She has passed the exam, she's a member of the agency. She wouldn't have had that courage if it wasn't for you."

Atsushi shakes his head.

"I gave her hope and let her die in the dark. I promised her, that I would be there for her no matter what...I let her die."

He puts a hand in his pocket and drops its contents into Dazai's hand.

It's his Agency badge.

"Someone like me doesn't deserve this."

Fukuzawa steps forward, feeling it was time for him to speak. "Atsushi, today's events are indeed tragic. But they were out of all of our control. As much as we try, we can't save everyone, you can't save everyone."

The unspoken "You will break yourself trying too" hung in the air.

"I don't need to save everyone... I just needed to save her." Said Atsushi, greif colouring all of his words.

His eyes weren't the shining bright lights they'd been prior, no they were blank, empty.

Akutugawa knew he should just leave but he couldn't. "Jinko, the words of your... Mentor do not apply here."

He felt bad for bringing that man up, seeing Atsushi freeze up. But he couldn't just stand here and watch him break apart.

"Why not?" Atsushi chuckles but it's empty, cold and sends chills down everyone's spines. It didn't sound like Atsushi at all.

"All I do is bring misfortune onto others, this is my karma for simply existing. I thought you agreed with that?"

His words were sharp, cutting. But Akutugawa knew what he was doing. Lashing out in hopes that he'd be punished for what he saw as his crime.

"I did, back when when we first met. I thought you were nothing but a weak little parasite and I couldn't fathom how Dazai kept you around."

He takes a deep breath.

"But than I learned that you and I are cut from the same cloth. Like it or not, I see you as my equal. And I won't have you drowning in your own self destruction. That man was wrong about you, as was I."

Atsushi shook his head, a self loathing smile on his face that looked so wrong.

"So what you pity me now?"

Akutagawa shook his head "we wouldn't have gotten this far if it was simply pity. And you know that."

He met Atsushi's gaze head on, seeing the sadness and greif in his eyes.

"What did he say to you?"

Atsushi didn't falter when he answered him. Akutugawa almost wished he had. For Atsushi to even subconsciously know the next words he said were so wrong.

"If I can't save people, then I don't deserve to live at all."

Fukuzawa's eyes turned to steel. Dazai's burned brightly, a silent promise of pain for the man who dared utter such words to Atsushi.

For making him believe that was true.

For Akutugawa his resolve only strengthened.

"He's wrong. You were a child trying to survive. He knows nothing of who you are, what you've become."

And if Akutugawa achieved nothing in this life, he was going to make Atsushi see himself the way others saw him.

The way he saw him.

"You have saved countless people. You will continue to save people. Because that is what you do, you save people. You saved Kyouka, she passed on knowing she was loved and that she belonged."

Tears welled up in Atsushi's eyes. All of the anger, saddness, greif finally bubbling to the surface and he broke down into tears.

Akutagawa rolled his eyes but there was an unmistaken fondness as he pulled Atsushi into a hug.

"You are going to rest, you are going to recuperate and carry on. This is not the end of your story..."

He felt his own tears in his eyes just at the thought.

"Don't you dare go where I can't follow you."

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Erastis

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Demigod!Reader

Warnings: siblingxsibling, do not read if you don’t like it

Words:1057

Summary:Kidnapped and bound in the captain's room aboard the Princess Andromeda, Luke tells you of all he has been planning. Whether you agreed to his plan or not, Luke was going to make sure you would stay with him for it all.

“Don’t look at me like that, (y/n).” Luke’s voice was quiet, slightly hurt at the glare you were piercing him with. “You wouldn’t have come if I had asked.”

Anger was starting to slither out of you. “So you decided to kidnap me for this insane idea you have?! Raising Kronos. . . destroying not only our father but the rest of Olympus? That’s insanity Luke.” Again you tried to break free of your restraints but the results were the same. The Olympian blood in you screamed for freedom. Being a child of Hermes though, one normally didn’t have any cool powers like Percy the son of Poseidon. All you had was a sword to rely on. A sword that was sitting in the corner of the room.

Luke followed your eyes. The celestial bronze was kissed by the glow of the moon outside of the Princess Andromeda. Who knows how far away the massive ship had gone from the shores of Camp Half-Blood. Even if you did manage to get out, how would you make it back? Your father only gave Luke the winged shoes.

Rising up to his full height, you watch as your half-brother makes his way over to the lonely sword. “A gift, from both myself and father. The one thing that was ever good between us was you.” Loving fingers caress the handle made from a dragon’s claw. The very same dragon that had given Luke his permanent scar. While Hermes provided the celestial bronze for your blade. Luke had sent your father a message of your upcoming birthday and how a sword would be a good present. To show that Hermes actually gave a damn about you. A warrior’s weapon. You hadn’t gone on any quests yet, but you had defeated your share of monsters earning you numerous scars over the years. Hermes saw and admired your tenacity, his fierce daughter. There's always little that the gods could do for their children as they cannot intervene or choose favorites, but Hermes did what he could do to assist you while you were on the streets by yourself. It leads you to making a lot of godly friends and certain monster friends as well.

Fingers around the handle, he lifts it up and exams it. “Your eyes were brighter than this celestial bronze the day I presented you with this sword. Erastis.” Your sword’s name beautifully rolled off of his tongue. It was the first time you had heard it in a while.

Lover’s Kiss.

Luke had chosen the name.

The thought of it’s meaning had you blushing all over again. No one else knew the name. Just you and Luke.

Grimacing, you clench down on your teeth. No. You could never agree to this plan of his regardless of the secret affection you had for him. “Don’t change the subject Luke.”

The grand suite of the captain’s lodgings was dark besides the soft lumination of the light on his desk. For how long had he been hiding this behind your back? You thought you had known everything about your half-brother. The two of you had a special bond within the Hermes Cabin. Never would you have imagined that Luke had been harboring this secret the entire time.

Furrowing his brows, the scar on his face contorted. “You would forsake me for. . . for the gods? For a father that let you get hurt time and time again. They don’t deserve your loyalty. Olympus doesn’t give two shits about-”

“It’s not about that Luke!” You yell at him, momentarily rendering Luke speechless. “Don’t you think I know that already?!”

“Then why. . .”

“Olympians won’t be the only ones hurt by Kronos’ return. Billions of mortals will surely die. They’re completely helpless. Not all mortals deserve that fate.”

Putting your sword back where it once sat, Luke stared at the ground. “Their lives are fleeting to begin with. They aren’t part of the bigger picture (y/n).”

You think back on your mortal mother. It had been years since you last saw her, but that didn’t dampen the amount of love you still held for her. “What happened to you Luke?” Luke didn’t tell you much about his past, but what you did gather was that it was a difficult one. Especially the case of his own mom.

The quiver in your voice made him soften and cup your cheeks. His thumb caressed your cheeks, lips mere inches from your own. They hovered, warm breath teasing against your lips and for a split second you forgot about everything he had told you. Forgot that he had kidnapped you from your sleeping bag. Instead you were consumed by sweet memories of summers spent together. The kisses you stole from one another when you were certain no one was looking. Sneaking out of the Hermes cabin at night to train in the arena and laughing. You always laughed when you were with Luke. It was odd how your crush was ultimately your half-brother, but considering Greek mythology you knew incest wasn’t a concern to the gods. Hera and Zeus were brother and sister after all. Despite that fact, you and Luke couldn’t go around camp showing off your true feelings. The other campers would think it weird. The gods were excused, not half-bloods.

“I’m doing this for our future. For a future we can have, together.” Quietly he explains, nuzzling his nose against you. There’s a slight tremble in his body as he leans forward. His kisses were always so warm. “I’m going to destroy Olympus for us.”

That was enough to snap you out of your lovesick haze. Sadly you turn your face away from him. “Not like this Luke.”

To your surprise he nods, as if having already expected this reply. “I know. I’m sorry, but that’s why I have to leave you chained up. Whether you agree or not, I’m doing this.”

“Luke. . .”

“I’ll bring you something to eat later.” He turns on the tv and places the remote on your lap before going to the door.

“LUKE!! Don’t you dare leave me here like this!” Shouting with all your might, you renew your struggle to free yourself.

He stops, door cracked open but didn’t face you. “I love you (y/n).” With that he leaves you alone with the blue light of the tv.

[originalleftist]

Something I dearly wish more people, especially those who identify with progressivism and the Left, understood is Intersectionality.

I don't claim to be any kind of expert on the subject myself, and I have my own biases and privilege, so take my position for whatever its worth, and feel free to dissect it. But very basically, "Intersectionality is a sociological analytical framework for understanding how groups' and individuals' social and political identities result in unique combinations of discrimination and privilege. Examples of these factors include gender, caste, sex, race, ethnicity, class, sexuality, religion, disability, height, age, and weight. These intersecting and overlapping social identities may be both empower and oppressing. However little good-quality quantitative research has been done to support or undermine the practical uses of intersectionality." (Wikpedia)

Put very simply, its about how different aspects of someone's identity affect how they are privileged and disadvantaged/discriminated against- and, crucially, how one can be both privileged in certain ways, and discriminated against in others.

I had heard the term previously, and probably had a vague sense of what it meant, but I believe that, as with so many things, I first started to really realize its importance, and the deficiency of awareness of intersectionality, while following the Depp v Heard trial (full disclosure: I actually used Depp v Heard as an example of intersectionality on a college anthropology exam, and I will undoubtably repeat some things from that here, though I do not have the exam on-hand to refer to).

One of the recurring arguments raised by certain Depp supporters (presumably those sympathetic to the Left, or perhaps more astute at manipulating the Left) was basically that Amber Heard did not deserve support because she was wealthy/famous/privileged. A recurring line (and example of how, despite being deeply rooted in Right-wing MRA/Incel ideology, "the Justice for Johnny Depp" crowd coopted Left-wing and social justice rhetoric) was to mock and dismiss Heard's obvious distress as "white woman tears".

Of course, this term is typically used to call out white fragility/defensiveness around race, and white women who play the victim against Black people- not a white woman who is in actual distress because she's being forced to publicly relive r*pe trauma in court before a jeering mob of her r*pist's fans. And the entire narrative ignores that Depp enjoyed far more power and privilege than Heard did (those who claim otherwise are generally adopting the misogynist "Men's Rights Activist" narrative that women are actually the privileged gender in society and are always believed, while constantly making false accusations against men- which was probably their whole point). It also means ignoring that Heard was repeatedly and viciously targeted based on her gender, her sexual orientation as an openly queer woman, and her mental health. Depp was subject to some ableist attacks as well, for example, in that he was stigmatized for the illness of addiction, but Heard, as with most things, got by far the worst of it.

One could and should also point out that much of what was directed at Heard and her supporters-the censoring of her freedom of expression, harassment and death threats against her and her child, abuse of the legal system, etc, as well as the horrific and life-threatening abuse inflicted against her by Depp and previously found to be true by a UK court-would be unjustified against anyone, regardless of their relative privilege, at least assuming one believes in universal rights or the rule of law. But the argument of privilege on Heard's part is itself selective, and misleading.

Now, flash forward to October 2023, for case study number 2. Among the arguments of the anti-semitic Left since October 7th have been that Israelis (primarily Jewish citizens of the world's only Jewish state) do not deserve sympathy or consideration, and that anything that is done to them is justified as "resistance", because they are the oppressors- they hold the power and privilege. Often, this has manifested as attacks not only on Israel and Israelis, but one anyone who supports them- and anyone who is Jewish. Again, one could and should reject outright that atrocities such as murder, r*pe, slavery, and torture are justified against anyone, for any reason. But the premise of the argument, that Israel holds the power and privilege, is again over-simplistic. Certainly, Israel has more economic and military power than Hamas, Gaza, or Palestine. But on a world-wide scale, the Jewish people are still a very small, marginalized, and vulnerable group- and would likely be far more so without a nation capable of defending itself. Jews amount to less than half a percent of the world's population, and the vast majority live in one of two countries- Israel and the United States. Further, regardless of the power disparity that exists between Israel and Gaza or Palestine, it should be self-evidently preposterous to argue that a random Israeli civilian, confronted by a Hamas gunman and facing imminent murder, r*pe, abduction, or all of the above, is in a position of power. But all of this is frequently ignored to try to justify bigotry, terrorism, and collective punishment of Israelis- and, very often, Diaspora Jews as well.

One should also consider how many Leftists have reacted to the war in Ukraine. Ukraine is unquestionably the smaller, less powerful party in a war with Russia, and it is unquestionably the victim of aggression. So, how did the Putinist/Tankie wing of the Left justify supporting Russia over Ukraine? Easy- they just treat Ukraine as an extension of NATO/the US, rather than as a sovereign nation, and argue that NATO aggression and imperialism caused the war, which Russia is then the underdog resisting (this of course is basically a Kremlin propaganda narrative).

Now, let's jump forward to the present, where Joe Biden's political future is being imperilled by relentless attacks asserting, on little to no solid evidence, that he is both mentally and physically unfit to run for or serve as President. One would assume that if any person on Earth is immune to systemic discrimination, it's Joe Biden. He is a fairly wealthy, heterosexual, cisgendered, white, Christian, American man. He basically won Privilege Bingo. And he currently holds the single most powerful position on the planet- one which just became frighteningly more powerful with the Supreme Court's presidential immunity ruling (albeit a ruling they obviously only made for Trump's benefit, confident that Biden would not abuse the immense and utterly unprecedented power that they have bestowed upon him).

And yet, as we saw with Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama before him, even climbing to the heights of political power does not shield a marginalized identity from attack. Hillary Clinton is a former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State, and was a major party's nominee for President. But she was subjected to relentless attacks, some obviously misogynist, and it certainly played a role in her defeat and the election of Donald Trump- a serial r*pist who was taped boasting about being able to get away with grabbing women "by the pussy". Barrack Obama won the Presidency twice- but not without a widespread movement denying that he was even a real American, allegations that he was a "secret Muslim" (which would not be disqualifying for the Presidency in any case), and a backlash that also likely contributed to the election of Trump, a virulent racist.

Biden, as a white man, has advantages that Obama and Clinton never did. But Biden too can still be attacked and treated unfairly based on his association with various marginalized identities. As soon as he showed signs of age and frailty, he was subject to the relentless contempt of our society for the geriatric and the disabled. Add to that his life-long stutter. Granted, Biden has far more power than most to resist such attacks, so it would probably be a big stretch to say that he is a victim of systemic oppression. But these attacks, using ableism and ageism to declare someone unfit for the Presidency, are ultimately also attacks on the dignity of all older and disabled people (there's also a good bit of racism and misogyny underlying it, as at least some of the hyperbole and fear-mongering over Biden's age and fitness is clearly driven by fear that a Black woman might succeed him- see in particular the recent piece in The Washington Post calling for Biden to stay in but replace VP Harris).

So what is my point in all of this? It is that peoples' identities are complex, and that just because someone is privileged-even immensely privileged-in certain ways does not mean that they cannot be underprivileged, marginalized, or oppressed and discriminated against in others. And that if the Left/progressives as a whole had as solid a grasp of intersectionality, and its importance, as they do of privilege, they would be far less likely to fall so easily for fascist psy-ops trying to convince Leftists that no, this whole class of people are okay to persecute because they're actually Oppressors, in order to divide and conquer us all.

Because the thing is: privilege is real. So is systemic discrimination. Certain people and groups of people do have unfair advantages over others based on their identities and how they are perceived, which contribute to bias and must be accounted for and rectified. But this is also true: everybody has multiple different identities. Everybody has ways in which they are advantaged over someone else, and ways in which they are disadvantaged. Some people have far more things that fall on one side of the scale than the other. But you can find something about just about anyone that gives them an unfair advantage over someone else. So if you focus only on that, and define someone's worthiness to receive sympathy accordingly, then you can reframe anyone as the Oppressor, and therefore unworthy of sympathy, and deserving of anything that is done to them.

Of course, one might also cynically argue that many people WANT to fall for that ploy, because it gives them an excuse to engage in harassment, bullying, and abuse; to join in the mob, while pretending to be righteous. I might also observe that the Left's fixation on determining who is worthy of sympathy based on who holds the most power essentially commits them ideologically to always being on the losing side- should any Leftist ever actually succeed in achieving major political success, they will become part of "the establishment", and immediately suspect. And I wonder how large a role this sort of thinking plays in Leftist third party "purity politics", and the infamous "circular firing squad".

[ele-sme]

Exam passed

Something great as happened to Spider, he passed his exams! That meant that he only had one more school year to do and then, he was free.

The results came in the early morning of a January day, there was too much cold outside to be out for more then one hour, otherwise a human would have got in epothermia.

Spider didn't care actully, he putted the most cold clothes he could found, even if he didn't like them, he wanted to go around only in his culture clothes. But that meant he would have go around half naked, meanwhile out there it was -50 c°. So he forcibly dressed heavily and sneaked out.

He arrived at new hometree in less then ten minutes, he knew that his friends and lover were lazying in those areas, so after he greated some people he founded them.

Unfortunately their parents were scolding them, Kiri was the one who looked guilty.

"Spidy" Tuk yelled coming to him on her full speed, making him almost fall.

"What are you doing here? It's too cold for you" Neteyam scolded coming to his side.

"I'm so sorry to disturb, i didn't know you guys were being scolded, i wait until your parents have finish" he said trying to get away from Tuk arms, but Jake made a sound of concern.

"They are right, why are you here?" Jake said coming close to the boy, meanwhile Neytiri behind him made an annoyed sound, but no one cared enough to look at her.

"I just wanted to tell you guys, that i passed my exams"

There were a few moments of silence before a roar of merriment burst.

All the Sully's kids were next to him, congratulating for this milestone he just got.

Even Jake from a little behind was congratulating the boy.

"Can you explain me what this means?" Neytiri asked coming closer to Jake

"Let's say that he is closer to become an adult in the eyes of the humans, i will explain it better later" Jake explain shortly to his mate who nodded and with a smile said "that nice, I'm genuinely happy for him"

"Thanks thanks" Spider said still hugging Kiri, then a cough comes and everyone stopped.

"You should go now kid, before you might get something" Jake told and his kids nod sharing his thoughts.

"I'll walk you home" Neteyam said, without suggesting or ask his parents. He picked Spider hand and got away.

His siblings all giggling knowing what that meant.

After beginning far enough from the eyes of the clan, Neteyam stopped and looked at the lover he had lock hands with.

"I'm so happy for you" He said kneeling down to face Spider.

"Thanks 'Teyam" he responded calling the boy with the sweet nickname he created for him as a kid "do you think i deserve an award?"

Neteyam giggle at how is boyfriend was so bold in asking for a kiss.

He lifted the mask and pulled his hand on the chin of the boy "I think you deserve a lot of gifts"

Their lips collided in a fervent and passionate embrace, a fusion of desire and love. Heat surged through their veins as their mouths melded together, their tongues dancing a seductive dance. The forest witnessed their ardor, its ancient trees standing tall as silent witnesses to their clandestine affection.

Their hands explored the contours of each other's bodies, fingertips leaving trails of fiery sensations in their wake. They were lost in a world of their own creation, where societal boundaries ceased to exist. Their bodies pressed against one another, desperate to bridge the physical and emotional distance that separated them in the outside world.

Time stood still as they indulged in the taste and texture of each other, their kisses growing deeper, more urgent. Their moans mingled with the rustle of leaves, their passionate exchange a melodic harmony that echoed through the forest. The intensity of their connection consumed them, blurring the boundaries between reality and their shared fantasies.

They reveled in the freedom of their secret love, the thrill of transgression heightening every touch, every stolen moment. Their kiss became a declaration, a rebellion against the forces that sought to suppress their truth. In that forest sanctuary, they found solace, affirmation, and the courage to embrace their forbidden love without reservation.

As their lips eventually parted, Neteyam labored breaths intermingled, lingering in the enchanted air, Spider breath become like the other as soon as the mask was putted on his face. Their gazes locked, affirming their unbreakable bond, silently vowing to face the challenges that lay ahead together. In that fleeting moment of respite, they embraced the forest's sanctuary, etching the memory of their passionate kiss deep into their souls, until the time would come when they could express their love openly, unburdened by the weight of secrecy.

With that they lock hands again and they resumed their path, arriving at the lab and giving each other a hug of goodbye.

"If i was you, i would be waiting for me tonight. If you know what i mean" Neteyam whispered at the other ear, that shivered at the touch of the warm breath on his cold ears. He nodded and entered the structure.

I hope you guys liked this, i swear the kiss scene toke alone two hours 💀

Stupid me didn't do a nocorro for ages, so i thinked "hey why not returning with this bomb?" Hope you guys liked this.

I have passed my school year with a grade of 7, so the inspiration came from here.

@be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie listen, I'm sorry to disturb but i personally spent four hours on this, so i thinked that it would be nice if you read this, obviously you are not obbligate, only if you want.

Sorry for any spelling error or grammatical one, reminder that I'm not native english guys.

[sinvulkt]

20 Questions For Writers

Wow, thank you so much for the tag @fanfictasia !! I've wanted to participate in something like this forever!! 🎶✨️✨️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now? 66.

"Yes, as a star wars writer, I am very proud of that. No, I do not intend to change it anytime soon."

I really need to focus on (and finish) some of my WIPs, and that mean trying not to disperse my energy amidst one shots (no matter how much i love monthly challenges and fic exchange events). Also I'm very proud of that 66 count and want to appreciate it xd.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

321k words!!

(More or less 100k / year 🎶 little me would never believe that 0.0

My school exam results sure don't, with how they are dropping 🤣)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star wars mostly (Vaderkin or my OC Sinvulkt), then Marvel (Dr Strange), Dream SMP (Dream), Le Visiteur du Future (Renard) and more recently Batman (Bruce Wayne) as well as Avatar: the last airbender (Zuko).

Plus the original stories I am supposed to write but almost never end up doing xd (the engagement in fandom compared to original stories make the switch hard xd).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Dreamt of a Never Ending Sky (Dream SMP)

669 kudos

2. To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars)

480 kudos

3. On the Edge of Twilight (Star Wars)

380 kudos

4. Scales of Embers (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

353 kudos

5. Crash Landing on Space Australia (Star Wars)

319 kudos

I'll never know how my Dream SMP fic got so much engagement. Good timing at a moment the fandom was in effervescence, I guess. Scales of Embers scoring so high is also a surprise 0.0. I discovered it had that many kudos today. It’s a shame the Dr Strange fandom is small because I think my Dr Strange WIP What If Doctor Strange Lost His Humanity ? would have deserved a place here. It definitely does in my heart.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! As a reader, I always feel super happy when the author shows that they’ve read and appreciated my comments. I know that personality an author who answers make me more likely to want to drop a comment.

As an author, I absolutely want to show how much I love every single comments, so I try to answer them all. But I get a little overwhelmed sometimes, bcs lots of other stuff going on irl or another reason. As such, it can happen that I don't feel the energy to answer a comment on the spot. And if I don't answer it on the spot (using the power of the wiggy dizzy nice happy feeling of getting a comment), I don't necessarily have the energy to answer later on. I currently have something like 60 unanswered comments I think? TT.TT

But rest assured that whether I answered or not, I absolutely adore and cherish every single ones!! Comments are amazing! ✨️.✨️

(This kind of engagement is one of the only reason I managed to settle into such an active rythm of writing after years of trying then dropping the hobby~)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Glance at my fics.

Uhhh... This is a hard question here... Many of them have angsty endings XD

Mostly the ones at the beginning (the worst written ones xd). I wonder why~

Also a lot of them don' have endings yet XD

I'll say amidst the 'old' fics from 2021, Day 8 - Screaming (Star Wars) would be the angstier one (or most horrible one ig xd).

But as far as recent fic go... While I haven't finished writing it bcs its wordcount exploded in my face, I already plotted / drafted it a few months ago and I know the ending, so I'll choose:

Batman’s Downfall (To Stand Alone) (Batman)

I noticed my kind of angst doesn’t have much success around these parts 🫠🤣. Oh well. I cherish it all the same :3.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sometimes I think I wrote too many fics. It's hard to select one.

Uhhh... My fluffiest works are one shots in Of Feathers and Freedom serie, but they are part of the series so it’s not really an 'ending'.

...

I'll answer for the crackiest story rather than the happiest ending bcs all my finished fics ending are ominous open ending at best xd.

The Blob Adventures Of Excentrics Jedi (Star Wars)

Because it's cute blob drawings of our crazy team of OC in taaoej, and I love them (although we are all angst lovers in taaoej, so it's more crack-angst, and we don't know the ending bcs there isn't really one. Not yet at least. Hopefully never).

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Just my own innervoice as far as I'm aware. But then I've always been rather clueless when people tried to 'hate on me'. The message usually just got lost somewhere in dreamspace immensity, never computing.

I've found the fandoms communities really welcoming at the very least!!

9. Do you write smut?

No.

I don't really enjoy reading smut. Nor romance for the matter. I don't think I'd enjoy writing it.

But maybe I'll try one day, for the sake of experimenting all genres.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I never did. I don't know why. Maybe I just never felt the need to mix characters and universes. There are amazing crossovers out there though, so who knows, maybe one day I'll try one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. In all honesty, I don't think my works are nearly popular enough to get stolen xd.

My writing style isn’t that good yet, and my dislike of romance when the majority of the fandom community is ship-powered means I end up in a corner quite niche. (A corner I love, that being said. Yay Crack, Angst and Gen~)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but maybe I'll translate some of mine in french someday. Be it only so that I do write fiction in my native language from time to time.

Anyone that wanna translate my fics, feel free to!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars)!!

I’m still waiting for my co-author @purpleopossum to come back to me / get back in star wars mood to continue that one. 🫠

Can’t say my hopes are that high up after all this time, but it’s the redemption | healing part of the serie and I don’t really have fun writing alone redemption | healing part... i prefer doing the whole mayhem that create the injury in the first place. And with how long some of my fics hiatus are (and I got no excuse for those xd), it’s only fair for me to wait. (I did write more other works for the dragon Vader serie in the meantime xd).

I made an oath to myself to never leave a work unfinished though, so we’ll see. If in several years purple still doesn’t wish to continue it, or if she inform me she is dropping the story, I’ll try to make some kind of ending. It’s part of the game i guess.

Alternatively, the The Amazing Adventures Of Excentrics Jedi universe is a group of star wars OCs that we made together with @pat-the-togorian , @asteral-feileacan , @ct2002-rema and Xylian. I don’t know if that count as co-writing? We usually write our OCs pov.

But in all cases, co-writting is very fun and I’d definitely do it again if other opportunities arise in the future.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

The absence of ship is my all-time favorite ship. Otherwise, "main character / digging their own grave" would be my 'favorite ship' since I tend to synch with idiots snarky jerks disasters.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

To Fly Free Under The Morning Sun (Star Wars) that I mentioned for question 13? 🤣

More seriously, I'll answer On the Edge of Twilight (Star Wars)

Because it's my vent fic. I know the main plot line, I vaguely know the current arc, but no one can predict where the next arc will go. It's all pure impulse and while I have a vague idea of 'ending', I refuse to plan a path towards it. This fic specifically, I want to keep pure impulse. So I'd love for it to become some kind of "The NeverEnding Story". :3

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I write.

No seriously, it's not something I did four years ago appart from vent poems here and there. Writing is in itself a huge writing strenght!

Otherwise I'm also a bottomless well of idea. It's pretty neat.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

... romance?

Or dialogues. Lastly I have a lot of frustration around the transition from dialogue / transition / dialogue. I feel like I'm crap at properly timing that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's fun. I do it for games sometimes. Since apparently writing normally is not chllenging enough for my brain sometimes. It did teach me bits of mando'a.

Recently for Sēċan (Star Wars) I decided last minute to put the whole droid dialogue in morse, and I regret none of it.

I'm usually only doing it for one shots though, and never 'official existing' languages until now.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star wars :p

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Now that's another hard question, how am I supposed to select one.

I'm gonna answer the whole Of Feathers And Freedom (Star Wars) serie. Bcs wings. :3

Tag time~ (if you wish to)

@purpleopossum @pat-the-togorian @cinderfeather @beguilewritesstuff @purple-iris @dreaminghour @ravenite-void @trickstress333 @bluntblade @doctorgeekery @stewardofningishzida @jenae-0 @trickstress333 @kittonafoxgirl @pastelcourage @salparadiselost @kefalion @charlottevader @ravenstakeflight @starr234 @aelaer @sarcasticfirefighter @mckiwi @linzerj @sonderwalker @exomal @tonhalszendvics @nephilimswitchlight @firejay112 @only-here-for-the-star-wars @ajedilikehisfather @makaronik @chickadeechickadoo @dirtkid123 @numerousbees1106 @akizumy @25centsoda @udekai @wendingways @silvereddaye @in-company-of-misery @wisechaosglitter @kuraiarcoiris @alright-anakin @wyvunn you're more than welcome to join on the interview fun!! (Or to ignore the tagging if not interested xd).

I know I tagged. I lot of people. Some of you may recognise my pseud, some may not. But I thought it would be interesting to hear the answer of the various authors with whom I interacted on ao3 over the years, so I went and digged up those with tumblr I could find from my inbox 🤣

(Hopefully I didn’t bother any of you >.< - otherwise I apologize. Same for if I accidentally tagged a non-writer.)

I'd love to hear your answers! 🎶

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about Jazz for two episode 5-6:

Everyone has already seen all episodes but since I'm still following the schedule of Gagaoolala I'm clearly falling behind. I don't mind because it gives me something to watch on Tuesday.

What I liked in these episodes:

▪️ Everything about Do Yoon: his looks, his personality, his tragic and terrible crush to Joo Ha (What a curse to fancy someone who can't like you back) and his smile. He is remaining my favorite character. I understand why people would feel close to him easily because he is effortlessly sociable. I found very endearing how he always call Se Heon as "Honey". This character deserves happiness. I'm glad he stood up himself to Joo Ha. He backed down because he had to protect himself before getting more hurt. I do believe he did enough.

▪️ Se Heon is finding the courage to go after what he really wants: playing jazz despite all the obstacles. He was bold also to add Tae Yi's name on the paper for his exams. He is still staying positive despite being told he is not good enough. I appreciate how he stays resolute to improve and keep playing jazz because he find "freedom" in this type of music. I believe he has the right set of mind to do better in the future and reach his goal.

▪️ Tae Yi is finally opening up a little bit and it was a breath of fresh air. I was a bit wary they would keep his character being cold and unfriendly. We all know he still has the trauma of losing his brother which keep him from opening up, but it's nice that Se Heon could make him to lower his walls. Behind them Tae Yi is kind of softy and very protective too.

Things I didn’t like in these two episodes:

▪️ Se Heon's father has a problem! I don't know if he just couldn't accept his wife leaving him or if it's something else but this man needs to seek a therapist because he has to know how to manage his temper. It's infuriating how he treats his son. He is always so controlling and guild-tripping him. Also, why he is so stuck on having his younger son playing classical music?! He already has a son who is doing it. Let the younger one do something he likes as long as it's music.

▪️ The first kiss under the umbrella was really cute but it just came out of nowhere. Okay, Tae Yi was friendlier but I didn't expect them to kiss at this moment. I think a hug would have been more pertinent. Especially has they never really talked about it again after it happened. The second kiss came at the right time but it's just so bad. I think the problem comes from the fact they are both idols in the same group. That's why their kisses can't look great. I guess I have to accept that at least, they had one.

▪️ Joo Ha's arc was a bit confusing for me. I think I missed the moment things got out of hand for him. I didn't understand why he was acting this way. He also has some anger management needed. I also believes he is having internalized homophobia. He acted frustrated by Do Yoon because he wasn't paying attention to him as he was used to. He lashed on Se Heon because things wouldn't go his way anymore. I think he needs help too. Most characters need a serious help in this series.

Next week, I’ll see the last episodes.

[deepmochi]

Which aspects dictate an on & off relationship in your opinion

Hello

Nonie didn't specify if this request was for synastry or natal. So, I did a Mix

Image credit: Loputyn

Disclaimer: This is my opinion

On and off relationships in Astrology

~ [Synastry]When people's moons don't have a connection, but Mars & Pluto are active. All depends on the passionate side and chaotic nature.

~ [Synastry] North node aspects the other's NN. Sometimes this people are a lesson or a exam. So, you want them to comeback in certain point.

~ Immature Air Venus run away from raw emotions. Then, they want them back.

~ Sagittarius sun may have that type of relationship with platonic friends. These suns value their freedom too much, so they ghost their friends and then comeback.

~ Immature Gemini stellium or 11th house stellium may cause this too. They like the friends with benefits storyline without the commitment.

~ [Synastry] Opposite sun signs with a squarish venus. Hard to dissect the "I'm in love phase".

~ Underdeveloped 8th house person, they will try to be free from intense emotions. Using self sabotage like a third party. Then realise they are the problem and miss their special other.

~ Libra north node can cause fear of confrontation, so they may run away from their s/o without explain why.

~ Sagittarius Mercury & Moon, really clever people but also avoidant to default. They communicate in a free way so they expect to not commit their freedom. They say I prefer to be alone, and then search for you.

~ Aries sun (men) they will breakup with you, and then realise they love you. Kudos if they have a fiery Venus or moon.

~ [Synastry] Same element in their sun. They belief they are meant to be. When they broke up, they will remain friends.

~ Undervelop Scorpio sun or moon can be quite toxic.

~ Immature Libra sun & Pisces sun men....that'll. They will search exes when they feel alone.

~ Immature Pisces Moon and Venus.. thinks their toxic ex is changing for them.

~ Sun opposition Venus...they think people deserve many chances.

Take care 💚🙋🏼‍♀️

[aoibhinnslater04]

SOC x ACOTAR

Chapter 4: Nothing left to lose

Ok, so I know I'm late but I had exams, a severe hangover and work, so this took a bit and isn't my best work.

Don't hate me!! :)

Word count: 1408

Trigger warnings, kidnapping, grief, mind control

Inej leaned against Jesper with her eyes closed, her mind whirring. She knew they had to get out, knew Kaz wouldn’t accept the insult of a negotiation where he was at a disadvantage, and knew they had to escape. Now.

Kaz didn’t know of their abilities, he would do something stupid that would end up with them being in a hell of a lot more danger than they were in now, and would likely drag Wylan, Nina and Matthias into this mess too. 

Inej had been trying to come up with a plan for ages now, since she woke up, but she kept remembering the disturbing and violating feeling of Rhysand’s power over her. At least at the menagerie she had some semblance of control of her body, but this? This was a whole new level of being out of control. It was like he had stripped her naked. She didn’t know how much he had seen of her memories, but either way it was too much. No one knew as much as he did now, and that was just as disturbing a thought as the power that achieved it. Even Nina, her best friend, who had helped her through her worst moments, calmed her heart when she awoke from panicked nightmares and held her while she cried, didn’t know all her thoughts like he did now.

Jesper shifted slightly, and she looked up at him. She knew he likely felt just as violated, as well as betrayed. He had told her all about his new friend Cassian on their way to Vassa’s, and she felt a slight pang of sympathy. Her friend had such a good heart, and he didn’t deserve this. But she sat up, and tried to push every thought out of her head, and turn her mind towards escape. 

“We have to get out of here”, she said, her voice still shaking slightly. “Kaz doesn’t know what these people are capable of, so any kind of retaliation isn’t going to work. And they'll likely take it out on us, then.”

“Cassian won’t let them hurt us”, Jesper interjected.

“Jesper, Cassian is the one who told them how to find us and helped them take us! He’s not your friend. He’s not someone we can count on! Sitting here, we’re prey. We’ve been prey long enough.”

She softened slightly at the sadness in his eyes, and took his hand.

“Let’s get out of here so we can become the predators again.”

~~~~~

Jesper glanced back as the tortured scream echoed down the hall, and he grabbed Inej’s hand again to tug her along with him as he ran faster. Not that the Wraith was slow, but she didn’t have the long legs he did, and by the sounds of it, they needed to be out of here like an hour ago, and neither of them wanted to test the limits of Rhysand’s powers, especially when they were this close to freedom. And whatever had caused that scream, he knew they were running out of time.

Suddenly, he stopped short. He felt a tug in the corner of his mind, the smallest part of him that he had allowed himself to search for their weapons with his Durast abilities, pulling him towards a room down another hall. He pulled Inej, despite her furious, whispered protests before opening the door of a small office, one with the most beautiful view over a fast-moving river. He shook his head slightly to stop himself from getting distracted, and grabbed the two pistols and pouch of bullets from the desk. He pulled open a bag beside them to discover Inej’s collection of knives. He goes to pass them to her, but notices her staring at an obsidian hilted knife, protected by a dark scabbard with silver runes. “We can take that too”, he told her, grabbing it and turning back to the door, ready to rush out again, until he hears loud yells nearby. They weren’t going to make it. Their escape had been discovered.

He didn’t hear Inej move until her hand was grabbing his once more. This time, he could feel it shaking. Inej wasn’t one to show fear, so this scared him almost more than the threat of the angry mob coming towards them. But her voice was strong as she whispered, “the window. We’re directly over the river, we can both swim, and we’re desperate. If he gets his clutches in our minds again, we’ll never be able to leave.”

He looked at her, and saw the determined look in her dark eyes. So he squeezed her hand. And pulled the trigger. And glass showered all over them.

~~~~~

Cassian heard glass shatter down one of the many halls and ran down to Azriel’s office, where the prisoner’s weapons were currently being stored. He pulled open the door just quickly enough to see Inej leap gracefully from the windowsill, and to see Jesper make a vulgar gesture towards him before following the Wraith. He ran to the window, and saw them being pulled with the tide in a direction he knew led to the Harbour. Oh shit. Rhys had just lost his leverage.

~

The Inner Circle were all sitting in their living room, a stunned silence hanging over them all. Even Feyre had stopped sobbing, only the occasional tear trickling down her pale face. They had gone so quickly from being in control to being left with less than before, with Nyx missing as well as the prisoners. Rhys stood up, his face going from the picture of devastation to uncontrolled rage, and Cassian almost shivered, like the room had changed temperature. 

“The Dregs have no idea who they’re messing with. They thought we were dangerous before? They haven’t seen anything”, he snarled, the promise of violent death clear in his voice. “We have nothing left to lose. Game on.”

The pained silence that followed their nodding was only broken by Azriel’s gloomy tone.”I still can’t believe they took Truth-Teller.”

~~~~~

Nina ran to the deck of the boat she was travelling on when she heard the cries of “man overboard!” She had been travelling with this crew for weeks now, between her journey to Ravka, her quest for Zoya and the journey back, and while she would never exchange her life with the Crows for a life at sea, she had grown fond of them, so she wanted to help however she could. However, when she reached the surface, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the new level of light, she saw Jesper and Inej in front of her, shivering and pale. She blinked again as though the light was deceiving her, showing her who she wanted to see when they landed, but no, Inej and Jesper were really there. 

Nina squealed and ran towards them, throwing her arms around them and nearly knocking them to the floor. She thought maybe Jesper was dripping sea water onto her face as she felt coldness fall down her rosy cheeks, but realised she was crying as they gripped her tightly back, as if they were scared to let go. She had been so worried when Kaz had told her they were missing, presumably captured by this mysterious Rhysand, and she had convinced the crew to stop at a dodgy island marketplace on their way back to Ketterdam to pick up supplies for Wylan. But here they were, whole and safe in front of her. 

She released them, but kept gripping Inej’s hand tightly, as though the Wraith would float away on the breeze, and she turned to Jesper, saying “I have some spare towels in my room. Follow me.”

Nina kept glancing worriedly back at the pair behind her, looking so pale and scared. When they got to her cabin, she threw them a towel each, before collapsing on her bed and saying “spill”. Her face fell more and more with each word they spoke, pressing tightly against one another as if they were the only thing they could be sure of. Which, Nina supposed, was probably pretty accurate based on what she had just heard. She had never heard of any Grisha having the powers Rhysand was supposed to have, unless they were on jurda parem, although it didn’t sound like that was the case. And now they were after the Crows? Oh no, this wasn’t going to end well at all….

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

Not to be nosy but I need to know all about the research behind Vlad being a loverboy 😳

Anon... Bless your soul skdhsksfkskf prepare for it to be stained with my unholy research. I apologise beforehand to any precious people out there who have to bear witness to my lunacy on this blog (I blame the exam period for this). 🙈❤️️

The people-pleaser in me wants to clarify first that my story will include numerous sexual scenes. I write about adult themes taking place in the lives of adult people. Vlad was a father to three or four children (that we know of) and married twice. Also, we know he had a mistress. People have always been fascinated by the connection between Vlad the Impaler and sexuality, man or vampire. It is a natural part of life. Hence why research happened in the first place.

Also, putting a warning tag on this, as well as hiding the rest under the cut because, well... The "top-tier lover boy" theory deserves to be delivered in full detail lmao. Do not read if you think it might irritate or trigger you in any way!

I think one of the most frequent phenomena in media is to portray Vlad/Dracula as a sexually agile and experienced man/vampire who knows how to satisfy his partners in a way that no (or very few) other men can. This stems from the frequently used characterisation that the main male character must excel in bed compared to others. Additionally, we also have the depiction of either a very masculine and virile warrior or a seductive vampire that contributes to it. I believe it is okay to work with this, but his skills would not simply miraculously be given to him. I prefer a great touch of realism when portraying my characters, so I have spent considerable time contemplating how he could realistically attain such *ehm* talents *ehm*.

When I say realistically, it is because Wallachia was a European country with Christian beliefs which influenced every aspect of cultural life, including matters related to sex and sexuality. While there may have been some differences between the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Catholic Church at that time, they likely shared similar views on these matters. In European culture during that period, sex was generally seen as something impure and sinful, intended only for procreation. Any form of pleasure, more adventurous positions, or other performances (insert anything you please here) were heavily frowned upon (like one-way-ticket-to-hell frowned upon). If we do discuss pleasure, it was primarily focused on male pleasure, with little consideration given to whether or not a woman enjoyed herself. That does not sound like an environment where a healthy and enjoyable perspective on sex could thrive or be obtained.

But.

Because Vlad spent most of his puberty and adolescence in the Ottoman Sultanate (he was taken hostage at ten years old and was released at sixteen), he grew up in this environment during a period that, aside from all the bodily changes, is known for sexual maturation and first sexual activities. This means that Vlad would not only be exposed to a different outlook on one’s sexuality at a time when he would actively start to be interested in such things (and the Ottomans’ perception of sex was significantly different from that of the European Christian mindset), but he would also likely have his first sexual experiences here. (Also, this might help explain why I try to establish his character as a man who treats women with respect, and why there are practically zero traces of sexism or misogyny in his behaviour.)

I am aware that there are many prejudices surrounding Ottoman culture, suggesting that it was oppressive towards women, but the reality is that Ottoman (and Muslim in general) women enjoyed more freedom and equal treatment compared to Christian women during that time (not as we imagine in the 21st century, but certainly more equal than compared to Europe). For instance, despite the common belief that harems were exclusively a centre for “female sexual slaves”, not all women in the Harem were there for sex, and some of these women held significant power at courts and even owned property (if you want to learn something interesting about just how powerful the Ottoman women could be, I recommend reading about the Sultanate of Women). During the formative years of a young man's life, when they are more attentive to how others treat women, Vlad would be raised in such an environment.

Regarding sex, Ottoman norms and perceptions did not attach shame to sexuality or sexual activity. They viewed it as a normal and healthy aspect of human life. They also believed that both men and women shared the same sexual nature, emphasising that both genders deserved to derive pleasure from sexual acts, and sexual partners were not held to be more estimable based on gender (many proofs can be found in the Ottoman literature from that period). Also, in contrast to the Christian medical culture which strictly discouraged sex during pregnancy, the Ottomans, following the principles and teachings of Arabic medicine, advised women not to abstain from sex as complete abstinence was not recommended.

As for where he would gain the experience — purely for my fictional version of Vlad. It would be extremely challenging to start a sexual relationship with a girl from the harem as it was a highly protected section of the palace, and being found there without the explicit permission of the sultan often resulted in execution. There were exceptions, of course — the greatest honour a sultan could bestow upon a male guest was to present him with an odalisque from his court. However, I do not think it would be realistic to give a rebellious young man who constantly caused trouble a girl from the harem. (On the other hand, there is some evidence suggesting that Sultan Murad II seemed to have some fondness for Vlad, so... Maybe? I need to figure it out.) A more plausible scenario would be for him to meet a girl in public baths (some historical accounts suggest that certain hammams may have facilitated more clandestine activities), taverns, or other venues. My general idea is that there was someone who helped him explore his own sexuality but also taught him the importance of viewing women as equal sexual partners, as well as how to please a woman and what exactly to do to achieve that.

To conclude this stream of historical facts and sum it up, this environment and outlook on sex, as well as having his first exposure to sex in the Ottoman Empire, would ensure that he learned how to be a generous and respectful lover who was not ashamed of healthy sex and wanted his partner to feel good. Feel free to use this lecture in case it might be helpful!

(Also, just a little bonus note — the Ottomans had a more liberal approach to same-sex relationships compared to Europe, although still complex and a little complicated. During that time, public norms displayed fluid gender expressions, and attitudes towards same-sex relationships were diverse. Ottoman poets openly explored same-sex love, and there were no legal sanctions for such relationships, despite possible negative perspectives from some individuals. I mention this because this, too, might have influenced the degree of Vlad’s open-mindedness towards other human beings. We also know that Vlad’s younger brother Radu had a sexual relationship with Sultan Mehmed II and, although their relationship was exploitative and as far from healthy as it could possibly get, the exposure to a different approach to same-sex relationships could have made him non-judgmental about the general notion of his younger brother’s sexual orientation, as well as understanding of the unhealthy impact the relationship had on his brother as he could see what was healthy and what was harmful.)

Now let me bury myself in a tiny box lmao.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

College/University Roommates (2) Masterlist

part one

And it's all gonna be wonderful (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Dan knows he and Phil are 'together'. There's no doubt in his mind about that. He's just... not quite sure how exactly to situate what they are, and especially not when something as stressful as Valentine's Day was coming up.

begin and never cease (ao3) - palomeheart

Summary: Dan is a grumpy second year law student living with reclusive, perpetual grad student named Phil. When the holiday season brings out a side of Phil that Dan’s never seen before, Meanwhile, when Phil finds out Dan hates all things festive, he makes it his goal to change Dan’s mind before Christmas. And also to find the perfect mince pie.

Flatmates (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: oh my god they were flatmates / the fuckboy!phil au we all deserve

forgetful (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil always forgets the keys to the dorm room; luckily dan always has his back

gold & green (ao3) - lightninghowells

Summary: dan is a student at the university of manchester and he just moved into his first flat. now all he needs is a roommate.

Law Exams - amazingdanielhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil attend the same Uni. Phil catches Dan cheating on assignment/essay and blackmails him. 

Meeting You (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: "I guess I know the answer to my worries," Dan whispered, alcohol still lightly on his breath but Phil didn't care. All he wanted to do was kiss Dan again – and so he did. He tilted his head just enough to press his lips to Dan's, starting a soft and slow kiss, their lips moving together like they'd been doing this for years while his body lit up like there was a fire in every one of his nerve endings.

~*~*~ aka dan and phil are roommates in college this semester and end up pining for each other and then having a good romp together. ft top phil, bottom dan, and some hq sexuals

My Homophobic Roommate - wordsofphandom

Summary: Phil is the best college roommate that Dan could have imagined, but things get awkward when he walks in on Dan with another boy. Is Phil just a homophobe or is there more to it?

Pictures Of You (ao3) - CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)

Summary: Punk Phil and (softish) Dan find out they are roommates after a couple stressful encounters.

robot in the dorms (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)

Summary: dan goes to university in florida and meets his roommate phil. after a few months, and despite dan's facade of disinterest, he begins to actually like phil and his nerdy ways. the robot that phil designs doesn't help.

or: another "oh my god they were roommates" fic but COOLER because robots

spilled intentions (ao3) - ordanary (ghostsofjersey)

Summary: It’s Dans first day of uni and everything is going decently until a black haired boy in his year spills coffee all over his jumper– and then it’s suddenly going wonderfully.

Temperature. (ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: Dan's first day of uni isn't exactly how he pictured it to be. But, in the end, maybe that's okay.

This Could be the End of Everything (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan’s finally starting university, the phase of his life he’s been waiting for since he was a small child. His first real chance at freedom, away from his parents. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans for him.

Prompt: au where dan and phil are college students who get separated when they're sent home bc of coronavirus. potential dan isn't out to his parents angst + general ldr angst + fluffy reunion when they get back to campus and everything is over pls

What We Lac (ao3) - phan_anon

Summary: Alpha!Phil might just have found what's been Lac-ing from his life in his housemate Omega!Dan...

[thatdodoanonx]

Hey dodo, I hope you're doing better now. I really wish i could help you out in some way or another and that you get help financially so you can leave to find a safer place to live. I'm really happy we met and whenever we interacted it always brought me such joy, and i just want happiness for you too. Nobody deserves being treated in such ways, i hope you're safe ❤️

Hey, man. Glad to see you again. I really missed you and I'm happy I left some good impression. Sorry I wasn't able to answer sooner , I was busy the last few weeks, so I'll use this opportunity to update y'all.

First thing I find I did have a bank account with money my dad left for me and my siblings (each one of us have their separate account) and since I'm legally adult I was able to open it and pay both of my college Depts and my siblings' too, I'll receive my credit card in a week or soon. there's a small amount of money left but I don't care, this the only form of freedom I was able to receive and my mom can not do anything about. It's nice

Second and speaking of colleges both of my brothers left for their (both of them out of the town). It's both scary and good at the same time. One thing I won't have them hanging around my head and reporting every move I do to mom but at the same time I miss them y'know? That means it would be me and her. Alone. With no one around. But on the good side I return from my college pretty late so we don't talk much.

I unfortunately started to fall back into some bad habits, you see food has been my source of comfort since I was in high school that why I used to be fat back then and my mom made it her mission to remind me. I catch myself eating unhealthy food and that came consequences. So I have both Calcium and vitamin D deficiency and alot of my teeth got damaged because of it, yesterday was my 4th visit to the dentist this week. I rescheduled another visit after my mid term exams.

Lastly things between me and mom are calm for now mostly because I come from my college pretty late. We only had 2 fights now and you guessed it both them after my visits to the doctor. First one because I wasn't in the mood to talk to her (idk about you but getting 2 shots of Anesthesia and whole ass Root canal treatment makes you a little angsty y'know?) So ofc she took an offence to it and started yelling me at am and call disrespectful and stuff. The second time I told her at this rate I'm not having kids but my body won't be to handle it as a joke (while there's some truth to it) , again she got mad for no reason and started yelling at me and said something along the line of "everytime we fix you you have to go back to this (f-slur) shit??", I didn't have the energy to tell her she's the reason I'm not having kids.

That's all my the major stuff that happened, currently studying for midterm so I won't be able to available soon. Thanks to anyone who took time time to check on me. I'm forever grateful to you. Until next time 💖

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