#that im going on an 8 mile hike

[life-b4-death]

I think I'm gonna start my villain arc soon

[cerbreus]

boutta start ordering rocks online again just to feel alive

[almondmlkbtch]

Distractions from eating that require little energy

- find a topic of interest & look up videos abt it on youtube, create a playlist & listen while snuggling in bed

- hot bath or sitting down in shower — just need energy to get out of bed <3

- drink water💧

- go for a leisurely stroll — not every walk has to be an 8 mile power walk / hike 🌱

- stretch — I always feel sm better when I stretch. & feeling good & connected to my body in a positive way helps me to not want to eat/binge.

- meditate — so underrated. manifestation meditations r so powerful. I also like practicing breath work, it helps me a lot

- pick a task and set a 20 min alarm & then rest.

- watch or listen to health related videos. I love to watch videos abt y sugar is bad for u. I rly wanna end my addiction once & for all. Interesting topic & very motivating

- flip thru channels or videos wouldn’t normally watch. engage curiosity 🌟

- work on self care routines (morning & night)

- work on breaking tasks + projects into steps (when im feeling fatigue & just wanna lay in bed this helps me start stuff)

[marlenesluv]

heyy i was wondering if u could write a max, daniel, or carlos x super southern (like from the DEEP south/not texas) dallas cowboys cheerleader (kleine powell fc plz shes so gorg) smau and everyone is surprised that theyre together. or alternatively same premise but with an lsu tiger girl (fc darah haidet) and shes a lot younger. us southern girls get no rep lmao and ily

Unexpected. (DR)

hi! thank you sm for the request. i absolutely love this sm!! i went with daniel for this one, he’s too cute. i genuinely never see any southern girl stuff, so i hope you love this! and ily too!!also, y/n is a dcc, but she’s from louisiana. i never mention a state tho so you can imagine a diff one!!

pairing: daniel ricciardo x dcc!reader

fc: kleine powell

warnings: none!

note: i went ahead and made this not a soft launch (im limited with photos lol) also age gap is 8 yrs in this one!

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: y/n.user, pierregasly, and 1,872,055 others

tagged: y/n.user

danielricciardo: hiked a bit, and picked up this pretty lady along the way

view comments…

landonorris: you have a girlfriend? i never thought i’d see the day

|> danielricciardo: you’re talking??

y/n.fp: is that our girl?? our cowgirl is dating a man that makes cars go vroom!?!?

|> f1.fp: when worlds collide

y/n.user: wouldnt have wanted to hike those 12 miles with anyone else :)

|> danielricciardo: :)))

dcc.fans: does this mean daniel is gonna come to games?

charles_leclerc: is she converting you full cowboy?

|> y/n.user: of course i am🙃🤠

yourbsf: awwww, you guys are so cute. pls let me meet him

|> y/n.user: soon, honey🫣

_______________________________________________

liked by: danielricciardo, francisca.cgomes, and 862,274 others

tagged: danielricciardo

y/n.user: who’s going to tell him that these are not the dcc colors….💙🤍

view comments…

fanpage.dcc: UNEXPECTED RELATIONSHIP

|> y/n.fanpage: LOVE IT THO??

danielricciardo: sugar, it’s texas’ colors…..

|> y/n.user: i’m not from texas daniel, we’ve been over this😐

|> danielricciardo: let me grab my blue and white before the game

|> y/n.user: thank you, hun☺️

pierregasly: have fun with his annoying ass

|> danielricciardo: HEY. she loves my ass, thank you very much

|> y/n.user: 😇

formula1fp: this was not on my bingo card for this year. i’m not mad about it tho

_______________________________________________

twitter:

Formula 1 Wag News @formulaonewags • 2d

New Wag: Y/N Y/L/N has been posted by Daniel Ricciardo recently, saying that he “picked up this pretty lady” referring to Y/N. She is a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, at 26 years old. They have yet to officially announce their relationship, but with both posting, daniel going to games, and not denying their friends, we have strong reasons to believe they are dating.

|

DCC Updates @dccupdates • 2d

We think thet have been seeing each other or talking for a while. Y/N has stayed away from guys at parties (via her friends posts) and Daniel has been posting a lot at home. Maybe this has been going on for a while?

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 2,109,240 others

tagged: y/n.user

danielricciardo: first date, kinda nervous. do you guys think she likes me? 🙁

view comments…

y/n.user: i do i do i do🫠🫶

|> danielricciardo: i like you too🤭🫶

dallascc.updates: pls pls this is way too cute but i’m shook

|> f1updatepage: aren’t we all?

georgerussell63: theres no way you’re dating a dcc-

|> carmenmmundt: they’re so cute!!

|> georgerussell63: yeah, but how?

|> danielricciardo: im very charming

yourbsf: actually adorable asf. i’m soso glad you’re both so happy together :’)

|> y/n.user: thank you, babes🙁🫶

maxverstappen1: i hope you guys had a good date!

|> danielricciardo: we did ☺️

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, oscarpiastri, and 1,982,140 others

danielricciardo: another hike, another race sunday

view comments…

y/n.user: you’re gonna do so amazing ☺️

|> danielricciardo: wear my cowboy hat?

|> y/n.user: i’ll be there with the hat and boots on 🤠

|> danielricciardo: 😊

f1.wag: new y/n content? yes plsssss

carlossainz55: i’m still confused on how you got a girlfriend

|> maxverstappen1: we’re all confused

dcc.posts: our favorite hikers 🥾

y/nfanpage: i livveeee for them

_______________________________________________

liked by: landonorris, danielricciardo, and 1,027,174 others

tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris

y/n.user: p2 for daniel = proudest gf today. although i would be proud no matter what. thank you for being such a sweet, funny, supportive, and entertaining bf. i am not thanking you for bringing lando on the same plane, jk

view comments…

landonorris: those tension headache pills didn’t help?

|> y/n.user: nope

|> landonorris: oops 🫣

f1.updates: trio we needed

danielricciardo: my favorite cowgirl❤️

|> y/n.user: my favorite cowboy❤️

|> wagsof.f1: i’m actually so lonely i’m sobbing

formula1.page: you😭 guys😭 are😭 adorable😭

lilymhe: cutestttt

|> y/n.user: you’re too sweet💓

|> lilymhe: 💓💓

y/n.fp: i am never getting over this relationship. f1!driver and southern cheerleader? k. my life is complete

yourbsf: MY PARENTS

|> danielricciardo: oh dearie

|> y/n.user: 😳

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[weebsinstash]

Hey I know this might be uncalled for and idk much about anything, but I found the last post in your personal blog talking about your trip kind of alarming. It sounds like you’re putting a lot of effort to an important friend, but from your posts, the entire situation just seems fishy. I’m sorry if I sound rude, I’m just concerned because you mentioned the other friend won’t make it and you’ll be alone with this guy far from home, and he doesn’t have any plans to take you around (which a lot of times, hanging out and sight-seeing doesn’t really require money, if any at all). I really hope that if you decide to go you’ll have an amazing time but at this point, but I’m afraid you’re kinda setting yourself up for disappointment? And I really hope I’m not rude by saying this. Again, you’re putting a lot of care and money into this trip so at this point you should think twice and consider going somewhere else and have fun by yourself.

I was wondering why you would ask over here but then I suddenly remembered I turned off anon on my main blog ages ago so that's on me 💀 you aren't being rude dont worry haha, its nice to know people care enough about me to express concern

For context for you guys who just know me over here, I recently reconnected with an old online friend I knew like 9 years ago and he kind of just invited me up for a visit with him and another online friend i knew during the same time period who also lives in his area on a whim because, life is short, the pandemic has been hell, people have died and drifted apart and all that, and I was really happy because he used to be a big pillar of support for me back in the day (the other friend too) and I thought "hey, taking a trip could be really good for me, im already super depressed lmao" but being invited up quickly turned into 1. Other friend can't make it 2. I have to provide my own lodging aka paying for motel which is expensive 3. He doesn't drive so I have to be taking a rideshare service to travel like 6 miles to his place and back to my hotel 4. I knew he was, earning a scholarship and such but he dropped on me today after I've already scheduled everything that he's been a full time student with no income so like, we really won't even be able to do basic shit like go out to eat or see a movie unless I pay for everything and that's on top of already spending like $1k on traveling and the motel alone

My mom is trying to talk me out of going and, I will be honest and say I'm really upset with his communication. He invited me in a really sincere way but this entire process has been a nightmare. Like I figured since I'm, you know, having to pay for a passport and travel to Canada, that we would be able to like sightsee and maybe check out the local food and try poutine but the only activities he has suggested so far is hiking (which is fine that sounds fun) and idk listening to music on subwoofers in his room in the house he shares with like 3 other men and doing shrooms. Like dude I love this guy like a brother but he really kind of should have told me he was quote "extremely poor" before I shelled out the cash to take 8 days out of my schedule, two of those which I'm going to be travelling the entire day, literally my departure day is gonna be 4am to 7pm nothing but travel and similar on the day back

But also like. He was there for me a lot of the times I needed it when I was younger, he supported me and did nice things for me, so I feel I owe him even if I didn't want to go, which I do like trust me I still want to see him. Yeah this isn't ideal but, it could still be something really good for the both of us. I trust him not to be creepy with me and you know, he's been through some really hard stuff too (for you followers over here, he is the same friend I mentioned the other day who basically lost use of his dominant hand in a work accident). Yeah it seems kind of iffy now but I could go and have a great time. And if not, if we don't click, and it's super awkward, then yeah I'm going to be extremely hardcore depressed by myself in a foreign country but I'll have my own hotel room so I can have my own space and do my own things until I crawl back home. I'll actually be in the Niagara Falls/St Catharines area of Ontario so, I figure, if I'm forced to make the best of a bad situation, there should be plenty of opportunities by myself due to the tourism :)

But yeah I'm still really nervous and I'm disappointed and anxious about this trip and I still have to pay for my passport and this is kind of coming at not the best time but,, I'm looking forward to this and so is he so, I think everything will be OK. And if not then I'll be super heartbroken and never want to trust anyone again because no one else will be familiar with me and accept me the way he has and if i don't have that then I might as well not even exist lol :)

[vaenire]

ask anyone in town and they’ll say my toxic trait is bringing a backpack with water, basic first aid, a camera and food with me on every hike

[pepprs]

[beabaseball]

hey i was wondering, in the post you rbd about the cave older than bones, which cave is it! im in the appalachia region myself and id love to learn more or visit if possible!

So I got a few requests about this and since I don’t actually want people to go out during a pandemic, I’m going to provide a list of a handful of caves in Virginia on the Appalachian Karst trail. The sites have pictures and some have video tours available. Once upon a time, I planned to make a documentary about the Virginia cave systems, but alas, a pandemic hit before I had more than two filmed :(

Remember about white nose syndrome. If you’ve been in a cave that’s been infected disinfect your clothing INCLUDING shoes, or wear different clothes entirely.

The Very Old Cave I referred to in the post is Shenandoah Caverns. It will depend on the tourguide you get how good your tour info is, but Shenadoah Caverns is just a weird cave in general as it is made by both earthquake and flooding, whereas most caves are one or the other. It has areas with large formations as well as a handful of nooks and crannies, and 75% is wheelchair accessible, but maybe not wheelchair comfortable, as everything is gravel. Do not touch the bacon.

Skyline Caverns is north of there, near skyline drive, which is already a popular site. It is completely different to Shenandoah Caverns but they have the same naming system because they shared the same owner and he wanted to create a McDonalds cavern experience (as in, regardless of which mcdonalds you’re at, the food is all the same). Skyline Caverns has trout?? that I assume are safe and happy?? There are only two. They also have anthodites, which are rare crystal formations that resemble sea anemones. There are only a handful of caves with true anthodites in the world. They also have something called the ‘tuning fork,’ which is very cool, but also your tour guide is technically not allowed to demonstrate to you. Don’t touch shit, even when left alone. Be nice to the tour guides, they aren’t allowed to leave the cave before an hour has passed.

Luray Caverns... sure is a cavern. I am mean to them, but I did actually buy their VHS as a kid and rewatch it a lot. Luray is maybe the most commercialized cave, which is both a blessing and a curse, because they do bring a lot of tourism to Luray but also the tours are very crowded sometimes and the guides need microphones to be heard. It’s pretty easy for people to just sneak off if they are in the back of the group. Luray is a very young cave, actually, but it has lots and lots of colorful formations because it is also shallow! The minerals don’t have to travel as far down to be deposited. They now have an elevator and are largely wheelchair accessible. They also have an underground organ. What they play is a recording, to not damage the cave any further, but it does really work. Do not touch the eggs, even if your tour guide tells you to.

Endless Caverns are called that because we can’t find the dang end of it. Literally people have walked for a full two days and not found the end, as far as I know, so stick to the path the tour guide gives you. They’re an earthquake cave that has lots of windy little tunnels and an excellent total darkness experience (or maybe I just had a great tour guide). They are closed over winter for the bats to chill inside, and will open up again this April for tours.

Grand Caverns es Grande. The oldest operating tour cave in the US, it has extremely large rooms, chandeliers, and also so many shield formations/angel wings that it’s literally almost the only thing I know about it. HOWEVER. They are also one of the only caves that can offer an adventure tour with headlamps and knee pads and everything. Fountain Cave has no lights installed inside, a path from the 1800s, and hasn’t really been open to the public until recently.

Cumberland Gap Cave ... listen. listen. This cave is $8. For adults. It is also Virginia’s only candlelight cave tour. It’s a bit of a hike, 1.5 miles, and with lots of steps and some of that being a wilderness trail. HOWEVER. The bats in the cave are in danger of White Nose syndrome. Do not use shoes you’ve been in other bat caves with. They also have Sand Cave nearby, which is not technically a cave, but it is the end of a hiking trail and there is rocks over your head. If you swarm these areas and go off the trail or litter, I’ll end you.

Natural Bridge Caverns are, as implied, close to the Natural Bridge, which is a mile hike on its own and shouldn’t have been imposed on 3rd graders if they wanted us to pay attention. Natural Bridge Caverns go down 34 stories (340 ft or 104 m) making them the deepest caverns on the east coast. It’s not a very long tour, about 45 minutes. Lots of flowstone.

Dixie Caverns was discovered by a dog, and we appreciate the kids who ran into a hole in the ground to get their pup back up. This is another pretty cheap tour, with tickets at $12 for adults. I haven’t been there myself and I can’t find much online about them, as they’re pretty small commercially, but apparently this is a cave where you go up the mountain instead of down, which sounds very fun. Looks like it has plenty of formations and several water pools. It has a gem and mineral shop nearby. It is in Salem, but it is not the Witch Trials Salem.

....and these are all the appalachia caves I know about (in virginia, which is all I know)

et Carthago delenda est.

[jayflrt]

HELP i just copy and paste bc i type way faster on my computer and i normally rmb to delete what i respond to but. not that time ig.

i got accepted into 3/4 i applied to, it's just. choosing. that is v hard for me bc 2 of them are really good schools.

TURN DOWN HARVARD????? the one i got denied from was ivy league equivalent i cant even imagine getting in omg

im so out of shape too dw LMAOOO i used to do like... 8 mile hikes and shit easily but now??? gl getting me to do 1.5 miles 😭😭😭i used to take the bus, yeah, it would be 2 hrs in the morning and 2-3 in the evening. sucked!! do not recommend!! my mom drives me now, and when i go to college im just gonna take the shuttle or walk everywhere

NAUUURRR i hope u get qiqi soon!! i have her c1 on na and c0 on asia, she just. rlly loves me. speaking of my asia acc my luck is absolutely mf INSANE there why do i have c3 lisa and like c2 kaeya... starter chars are so rare HELLAUR???

my yanfei is c6 and i need to fix her artis and crown her, but she hits a good 50k when she crits. my highest on NA is 61k melt from ganyu,, but thats bc none of my dps chars are nukers, yk? like xiao and ganyu r both multihit

my eula hit 135k w a lvl 6 ult on asia but her artifacts are awful, i need to farm for her more. it's so annoying to farm for two accs tho LMAOOOOO

i was helping brooke unlock and run the new domain a couple of times ( we were... very slow) and eula hit at most 45k bc her ratio and talents r so awful LMAOOO albedo carried yes king

i got into 127 first, i think it's just that dream is closer to my age? so their humor matches mine more. and mark/jaehyun were my first biases and i still have soft spots for them so ig i can be considered loyal? like i stan half the group in almost every group i like,, but it doesn't change once i find the Ones.

i kind of hate the beach bc it's... boring? LMAOOOO like when u go frequently it's like 😴😴😴ok seen it im done. we normally go once or twice a year for a week </3 that is so long to do nothing but sit on SAND i hate sand

i want to write on my sideblog bc im trying to regrow a following that's more active and reads longer fics, since my current one is so reaction-centric and i know most of them r from 2 years ago and have deleted tumblr </3

it's working so far, i think? like i get asks sometimes or people at least wanting to be on the taglist which is more than i can say for main 😭😭😭

omg yeah dw abt it, i was just curious <3 i do know im a lil nervous making new mutuals now and i've only been on the very fringes of the plagiarism dramas and everything

HAHAH NONO UR GOOD when i just have my laptop, i copy paste it into notes and then reply and then type and then paste my response into the ask again LOLL it's so complex for what 🤧 

deciding on my college was also rlly difficult for me :'') i took like a good month to weigh in all my acceptances and eventually went to the one i felt the most comfortable at and thought would be the best for me <33 omg yeah my high school was pretty competitive so quite a few people got into ivy leagues, but everyone was surprised that that one boy turned down harvard bc he's always had high ambitions and is a genius 😳 but i think it all came down to finances and he's happier at the college he ended up choosing tbh so i'm glad for him 🥰 plus ivy leagues are corrupt and scary and i don't think i want to go to a university where the student climate is so cutthroat LMFAO 

god yeah my thighs are dying rn <//3 i hiked 16 miles with my friends once and tbh that was the worst HAHAH i was fine for the 7(??) ish miles there but walking back was sooo painful + 2 of those miles was on sand so it was a struggle. i don't think i could walk properly for 3 days after that HAHAH and i cut my ankle mid-hike so 🤕 2-3 hours ??? god i would fall asleep or something i could never 😭 

my luck kinda sucks on both accs 💀 i don't think i've ever hit pity early and i have like c3 mona and c2 jean LMFAO but omg yeah starter cons are sooo good 😭 my friend manx mained kaeya for a while and kept getting lisa cons instead of kaeya HAHAH and i always get amber cons even tho i never use her 😳 cat got a kaeya con the other day and i freaked out LMAOAO where's my kaeya constellation 😩 

i want c6 yanfei soooo bad i have her at c4 rn but her build is kinda good so im itching to get two more constellations 🙏 i feel like i barely use my NA acc anymore HAHAH i just spend so much time on my asia one and don't have time to work on both 🤧 but maybe i'll start working on my NA acc again so that i can build diluc !! 💖 i still need to play the new archon quest i've been doing a bunch of world quests but im proud bc i usually never get those done and push it off to the end <//3 

ooh yeah i get that !! i adore 127 and wayv and watch content for them but dream is like the group i always go back to to watch content 💗 lately i've been ditching them to watch svt content tho sorry dream <//3 

yeah where i am people go to the beach like every week so it gets tiring after a while. i hate sand in my shoes and how cold the ocean is and how scary the waves are so !! im out. my roommates actually invited me out to the beach with them today and i was like nooooo so i hid out to write/do homework :'] but yeah same i hate sand when it gets wet and sticks to you but i like it when you don't get wet and just can like ,, lay on the warm sand :') 

ooh yeah that makes sense :o i just make sideblogs bc i'm so nitpicky with the organization HAHAH when i made this blog i didn't tell anyone i was hyuckworld/tyonfs for a month or two because i wanted to build my own rep 🌸 

omg yeah im traumatized from my wattpad days because i would stumble upon clout chasers who only wanted to be my friend to either get me to read their fics or become friends with my friends 😣 i was so wary about reading rec’d fics for a while HAHAH but now i’ve just started finding my own fics to read and it’s fun discovering more <33 i have a list for ao3 too 🥰 

i try to handle all plagiarism issues privately bc i hate bringing discourse onto my blog but the ask someone sent me sort of made it impossible for me to not post it publicly 😞 plus it was clear that person was just blatantly copy pasting a bunch of writers fics sooo <//3 i rlly hope this all ends soon gosh 

[impossible-rat-babies]

first 20 lines meme

i got tagged by @coldshrugs tysm azia! tagging: @trvelyans, @zarneki, @rosykims, @forestcreatures, @starrypawz, @heartbrreak, @bitchesofostwick, @juniper-tree, @wayhavn, @pearlsandsteel​, and whomever else go for it !

The challenge is to list the first lines of your 20 latest fanfics. these’ll include wips too lol there’s some vague nsft stuff below the cut--nothing truly explicit in these though

1. prompt fill wip:

Rubble digging into Pollux’s shoulder blades, a heavy dead weight across his back pressing down on him. He winces, gritting his teeth and there’s just shallow breaths, ribs pressing painfully into the ground.

2. pollux finding out fic:

Mason curses as he breaks yet another cigarette and he tosses it into the trash, yanking out the old worn packaging for another one. Hands shaking, he takes a deep breath to steady himself and it works this time.

3. more shoe string french fry biting fic:

Pollux fishes another fry out from the little package of shoe strings, chewing slowly before he speaks: “You remember when I bit you?”

Ortega groans, shoulders hunching and the hood of the car once again protests under their weight. “You’ve bitten me no less than three times, Lux.” He reminds him and Pollux chews another couple of fries and swallows.

4. bathtub fic:

Pollux sinks lower into the water and for the first time in a long while, it’s quiet.

The faucet still drips, ripples spreading out until they hit his knees and he too lets them sink beneath the water--distorted and unclear.

5. the five feet apart because they’re not (gay)

Five feet.

A foot between him and the desk, another two and a half feet of desk, and then Grayson a foot and a half away. Might as well be miles and Pollux sniffs (again) picking at his thumbnail (again).

Five minutes.

Five minutes they’ve been sitting in silence. Nick is quiet too, but there’s a buzzing of anxiety whirling and twisting on itself that Pollux isn’t sure if it’s his own or just Nick. Probably both, if he’s being honest with himself.

6. nightmare/dropping the cups fic:

it’s too late to still be awake, Ortega thinks. He should be in bed with Pollux, instead he’s picking his way around the kitchen, cleaning up the remnants of dinner neither of them bothered to deal with once they were done.

7. phone go brr fic:

it’s far too early when the distant sound of the factory standard phone chime beeps over and over again, drawing him out of sleep. The sun hasn’t even come up, Pollux squinting his eyes open to stare at the blue hour haze coming through the thin curtains.

8. pollux shaving his head panic attack rip:

4am and he’s stuck sitting on the lid of the toilet, hands shaking uncontrollably with what he knows is yet another panic attack, his upper back and diaphragm aching from the frantic breaths. It’s all muted under the sound of clippers, the buzz and the strain as he combs the blades through his curls, watching ringlet after ringlet fall to the white tiles. They’re cold beneath his bare toes and and oh god he can *feel* it—

Why do they have to be white tiles?

Cool air on the back of an open shift, shivering at the cold and indignity of it all, laying on his side and staring at the floor, large needle pressing against his lower back deeper, between vertebra and poking into his spine—

9. legit just some pwp

Pushed against the wall and Pollux gasps, Ortega’s lips immediately following to meet his again, open mouths and trying to breathe while kissing is incredibly difficult. Ortega pulls him closer and Pollux has to crane his neck to keep reaching his lips but he doesn’t mind the effort.

Pollux grasp his shirt, pulling on fancy buttons and silk to find skin, fingers running across his stomach, feeling Ortega’s breath catching.

10. don’t stop (color on the walls) 

It’s a clear night out tonight, the sky an endless dome stretching miles and miles overhead out into deep inky blackness bespectacled by freckled stars.

Pollux blows a stream of smoke out of his mouth and it drifts up and up until it dissipates and he wonders if any particles of the smoke will reach that impossibly high ceiling. If they’ll touch moon perched on the roof, staring down at him with her grey blue light.

11. thigh kisses thigh kisses pollux kissing thighs (nsfw)

Hands on his belt buckle, sliding the belt through the loops and its tossed onto the floor. Pollux’s hands work at the button and zipper, sinking down to sit on the edge of the bed, knees trapping Ortega in close.

12. morning after stuff per usual lol

Pollux grumbles and grunts, hiking his pants up and over slim hips in a smooth motion, adjusting them around his waist once they’re buttoned and zipped up. His hip smarts a touch and he shift his weight from one foot to the other, rolling his ankle. It clicks like always does, his knee the same crackling as always.

13. more pwp bc. couches.

kissing a path down his erratically moving stomach and Pollux bites his trembling lip hard, head cocked at an awkward angle, shoulders pressed against the back cushion of the couch. Ortega’s hands gripping his hips, thumbs pressing into the divots of his hipbones and fuck he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how big Ortega’s hands are, how he holds him so tightly and so assuredly.

14. the twenty questions fic im never going to finish:

“Okay question one.”

“Question one?”

“Well yeah, this is how twenty questions goes.”

Incredulous and obnoxious is how this is going. And the chair is especially uncomfortable, the stupid molded plastic thing.

Charge has refused to meet in his office, saying it was too professional of an environment to get to know someone and Pollux wonders if there’s anything professional about the man. Well, beyond the very nice (and expensive no doubt) dress shirt and slacks, but even then the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

15. a follow up to our reflections 

Pain greets him when his eyes open and Pollux clenches his eyes shut once more, the screaming headache cut off suddenly at motions too fast for his battered brain and body. It quiets to a dull roar at the base of neck, spreading down across his shoulders with each breath.

He groans softly, but steady arms and hands find him, pulling him in close. Mason buries his face in his hair and Pollux tucks his face against his chest, hand smoothing out and across Mason’s ribs, feeling him breathe long and deep. Warmth seeping into his hand.

16. a wip i made happy without trying:

“Okay, okay now it’s your turn sweetheart. Worst fuck you’ve had.”

Pollux sighs and sits further back on Mason’s hips he’s straddled, crossing his arms and he fusses with a loose strand on his borrowed shirt. Pity that Mason is left shirtless, but he hasn’t complained yet.

“Okay fine...does it have to actually have been like, dick in...?”

“Nah.”

“Give me a minute then.”

“Wow that many?”

Pollux glances down and gives Mason a wicked glare, but the anger is tempered by the grin tugging at the corners of his lips. Mason grins back, hands running down the slope of Pollux’s back and down the curve of his thigh, fingers tucking against the back of his knees pressed against the mattress. He shivers at the motions, giving Mason a brief glance. 

17. hotel california

A haze creeps around the edges of Rabbit’s mind, a steady rise back to consciousness; details escape them, the haze of drowsiness like cotton between their ears and they blink slowly in the dim yellow light. The gibberish hum of a tv turned down low on the edge of their hearing, but they know the sound of the news anywhere--the monotone of a newscaster droning

18. the “i refuse to believe adam doesn’t go down” fic + trans rights

Jamie pulls his head back when he hears Adam’s knees hit the floor, the air cool against his heated skin as he pulls his sweats down with him. Adam leans in, scattering Jamie’s hips with kisses and little marks he knows will leave behind marks. He’ll be covered in them by time they’re done and Jamie’s trembling, biting his lip and staring down at Adam.

19. another i dunno i just wanted a different perspective fic

ringing—ears ringing. sharp pain in his jaw and work out the kinks, make sure nothing is broken. Nothing is broken—he knows the pain of broken bones and this doesn’t feel like it. Nothing crunches as he moves his arms, the world rapidly spinning back into focus.

20. our reflections:

Feet stumbling over each other, Pollux’s shoulder slams into the door and he curses loudly. Pain radiates down his arm and into his ribs, scattering across his shoulder blades and ending at the headache welling across his scalp. Breath catching, pain making his diaphragm stutter but he knows this well. Pause, close his eyes, lean against the door, and take a few deep breaths to ease the tightness.

[sapphic-book-bean]

My Eng Writing Assignment that I totally didnt use to tell my teacher im gae

The Red Haired Girl

It was a February day. The ashen clouds spread out like a poorly-made blanket on the sky, and the sun blinked through as ripped holes would allow the cold in.  The sky had a brisk and curt wind to it, and as I walked outside, my arms coated themselves in  goosebumps. The air smelled of faint traces of rain and salt, from the beach I lived a mile from. I stepped with my holed running shoes down the wooden porch steps, sparing a glance at the porch swing. I had helped my father nail those chains into the ceiling and I had held those sturdy white pieces of cedar wood as he screwed the structure together. It feels like a lifetime ago. I had the persevering soul of a hero in those days. Slowly I strolled down the reddish brick of the walkway, coughing slightly in embarrassment when I tripped over an uneven brick, despite the fact that nobody was around to watch me make a fool of myself. I quickened my pace after that, my eyes sweeping up by the symmetrical bushes at the end of the path. They had small, vibrant, green leaves with a sandpaper texture. Tiny yellow-orange flowers bloomed almost year round on it, and they grew in little tidy  bouquets. When I was ten, I used to grab a clump of the miniature trumpet-shaped gold flowers and throw them up in the air, like snow falling around me. I traced my hand over the leaves as I got to the bush, passing my fingertips over the felt-like leaves.

Just as I reached the bush, I saw a golden retriever. Grey hairs poked out of his snout and he moved slowly and clumsily, but his eyes were a vibrant brown and glowed with youth his aged form did not display. A new, bright red collar was around his neck, and despite his slow pace, this dog held himself with a dignified pride, like an elderly soldier walking in a military appreciation parade on veteran’s day. Right behind the golden retriever, a small, grey dog with lazy eyes padded along. I believe it was some kind of wirehaired terrier. This little dog did not walk with dignity or poise, but like a 8 year old boy whose mother is dragging him on a hike, and he wants nothing other than to go home. The little grey dog wore a blue collar, but it seemed faded, worn as though it had lived a thousand years on that runty dog. Neither dog wore a collar, so I was worried for a moment that they were loose, or strays.

A few seconds or maybe a millionth of a second passed, I am not quite sure which it was. Time seemed to slow, like in those cliche movies where you see the main character’s crush and they walk slowly with sparkles behind them and their hair bounces and they smile or laugh. I am no main character. But, as I looked up from the dogs to see their person, my eyes locked on this girl. A girl from a polaroid picture. Shoulder length, reddish brown hair that had a slight bushy-ness to it, making it poof out like that cave girl, Eep, from one of my favorite movies as a kid, The Croods. Freckles dotted the red haired girl’s cheeks, and her hazel eyes shone with more light than a flashlight to the face. Her lips were in a soft, natural smile that made my chest tighten. She was wearing a faded brown vintage Beatles t-shirt, with an unbuttoned, button down, long sleeve shirt with a pattern of brown and yellow flannel over it. Her Beatles t-shirt was tucked into her straight, striped pants that were held up with a belt of smooth black leather. Her flannel sleeves were rolled up slightly around her forearm, exposing her hands with old bracelets that jingled and little silver rings around her fingers. Her hands looked soft and her fingers fit her perfectly. They weren't oddly long or dainty or chubby, they were nice and practical. She wore black leather combat boots, laced up tightly. The leather looked so smooth, I longed to touch it and obsess over the silky feeling of the combat boots. The red haired girl was not tall, probably around 5’2. Her shoulders were rolled back and she was walking carefully behind the elderly dog. I stared at her enchanting eyes. They weren’t enchanting because of their color or size or shape, but because of the soul that gazed out of them. The red haired girl reminded me of home. Not the kind of home I live in currently, or any kind of home I have ever known. Not a home with your parents and brothers where it's loud and there is fighting and chaos but still close ties. Not a home with your friends where there is joking and teasing. She was the home I have longed for all my life. She was the home of peace and reading your favorite book by a fireplace, with nowhere to go and no things to do besides just be. She was a home of calm beauty like lapping waves. And I will never know this home, not as I long to.  

I broke the millisecond of eye contact with the red haired girl, feeling my cheeks heat up and my heart beat so loudly I was afraid she would hear it. I turned to the opposite direction that she was coming, perpendicular to the red brick path. I ran away from her, spreading my stride out and making sure I didn’t trip and embarrass myself again. This girl will never know how I felt seeing her, nor feel this way about me. Sunlight glared off of a car as it stopped at the red stop sign in front of me. The wind swirled leaves above my head in a pepper tree. I stopped and panted for air suddenly. My heart thudded fast and loud from my chest, sounding like a drum beating to the tempo of Come Together by the Beatles. Good song, but it reminded me of the red-haired girl. I stared at my shoes, contemplating the idiocy of what I had just done. A bird chirped happily behind me, and my head snapped up to glare at the yellow winged creature. It tilted its head to mock me. I spun around, hoping that the red haired girl would be behind me and I could ask her the million things on my mind. My breath hitched as I realized she was nowhere to be seen. The creaking of a worn, out of shape heart, exhausted with a dramatic flurry of emotion when it had not felt in ages. This heart of mine gasped and wheezed, amazed at how it must feel to meet a soulmate. The wind sent another gust, echoing the silence in my ears. The mocking yellow bird flew away, taunting me with it’s freedom. My goosebumps reappeared as I stood there, my mind still infatuated with the red haired girl. Billions of thoughts raced through my mind as I stood like a statue. I wrapped my fingers around the corner of my shirt, shame washing my mind like a bucket of ice water. I rubbed the linen between my fingers, it was smooth and light but the crease in the fabric was rough like sand. Stray strands of hair fell in my face, poking my eyes and tickling my forehead. I pushed them behind my ears, looking up at the sky and cursing the fate that hated me. How dare this world introduce me for so little of time to a beautiful girl I long to know but will never?

[vintagedolan]

tell us about the boy I wanna know if I should go beat him up or not (if you want to, no pressure bby!)

hahaha okay listen I will give yall the full story buckle up its amazing and then its sad :) (this could literally be a fic it turned out so long holy shit)

so I worked at a summer camp last summer in austin texas (i’m from kentucky). which meant I moved into a lodge in the middle of the city with 25+ other young adults my age. I didn’t know anyone, had never even been to texas. but I start making friends, as I do. 

one night I get back from dinner and these two boys are taking sporcle quizzes (sporcle is a website with specialized quizzes and shit). I decided to go over and help cause they didn’t know some of the answers, and we end up stayed up all night doing quizzes. 

a few days from then, one of them (we’ll call him virginia boy) is like “hey, I had no idea you were that smart. do you wanna do more quizzes a shit sometime?” (nerdy as fuck, I know). so then we start doing logic puzzles, like every night, tucked away somewhere in the lodge where no one will bother us. then, we started playing cards, spades specifically, which requires a partner. we swore we were forever partners (never broke it, never teamed up with anyone other than him for the whole 3 months). 

then he found out I’m decent at basketball, so I became the 8th player in the all boys four on four games, which meant we spent even more time together. we went outside every off day we had and shot around for hours. he didn’t have a car since he flew in from virginia, so at first he started just borrowing mine. but then we started doing shit together, like going to the grocery store or lunch. then we started going on adventures. hikes, museums, art galleries. got up early in the morning to spend the whole day together. and while we were working at camp we were always hanging out too. true best friends. 

I had to go back home for a friends wedding for a few days, and he was texting me while I was gone, joking around saying he didn’t know what to do without me there, that he was having separation anxiety. when I got back he tackled me in the parking lot, told me I was never allowed to leave again

one day he convinced me that we should drive out to big bend national park. I expected him to suggest other people going with us, but he wanted it to be just us. so cue us, packing up the bare minimum and going on a 8 hour road trip. we got to the park at 1am, ran around the parking lot yelling about how bright the stars were.  

we tried to sleep in the back of my car, but we couldn’t stop laughing. we were totally giddy, that stupid fun laughter when somebody swallows too loud or some shit. the second day we hiked 14 miles in 118 degree heat and almost DIED but when we got back we just laughed at how dumb we were, and how much fun we had. we played cards at sunset on the pavement. we laid on top of my car and watched the milkyway and the meteor shower that aligned with when we were there

the last day we hiked more, swam in our underwear in the rio grande, I had to piggyback carry him across the river cause he didn’t have the right shoes. i had never felt so free and spontaneous and fuckin seen. we had such good, deep conversations about life and trauma and emotions. I told him everything and he told me everything. 

we drove back, and we were even more attached after that. I think I knew I was in love with him after we got back, and we ended up being co-counselors for the next session, meaning we had the same cabin and we were together 24/7 with our boys and it was the best week of the summer in terms of camp cause we just had so much fun. 

one late night in the van he fell asleep on my shoulder, and I held his head when we went around turns or over bumps so he didn’t wake up (little did I know he was just pretending to be asleep and loved every minute of it). after that he said he was ‘claiming’ me for the night, which ended up with me sneaking down into the boys cabin where I was not supposed to be to watch a movie. and then the movie didn’t work, which turned into us cuddling and talking about everything and confessing feelings and writing words into each others skin.

I slept down there with him, and when we woke up he looked at me and said ‘kiss me, please’ so I did and he said “long overdue”. we had one last session of camp after that, so we were just anxiously awaiting the last few days off after the session ended. 

we went on a few real dates in those days, tacos and ice cream and late night chats on the roof, staring at the city. two days before we had to leave I went down to his room to talk, and he had gotten into his head, decided he didn’t think long distance would be good for either of us. we had an honest conversation about it, and I managed to convince him to give it a try (or so I thought). and I promised him that if he didn’t want to do it once we gave it a shot that I would accept it.

the next day, he (unknown to me) went and tried to get advice from his friends and cried the whole time because he knew he was going to hurt me and he really didn’t want to.

later that day, he told me that it wasn’t going to work. we both sobbed for literal hours, because we both knew if we weren’t going our separate ways we would have never let it go. we ended up sort of hooking up that night (everything but actually fucking haha, first time for both of us) because that’s how we wanted our last night together to go, we’d both never been more comfortable with anyone else in our whole lives

when my alarm went off the next morning I woke up and cried, got up, packed up everything I had brought with me. he brought my car around to the front of the lodge, helped me pack. 

we held each other for a minute, kissed each other goodbye, and that was the last time I saw him in person, almost a whole year ago now.

we still talk. we had to stop for a little while because it was too hard, too raw for both of us. we’re friends now. we skype every couple weeks, stay in touch. but as much as i try to convince myself that I don’t, im pretty sure I still love him, and I think that I always will. 

[crownthemenace]

Im hiking 4.5 miles tomorrow and planning to not eat anything until i get home (late evening). Im also going shopping since my mum is going away tonight so im gonna be over 5 miles tomorrow 😍.

Im meeting my family for a picnic in 8 days, i want them to notice ive lost weight even though im still fat. Ill be down 30lbs since they last saw me

[icecreamvi]

Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 suit review

skipping ahead a bit to do this game, thank you @fam-account 

6/10 

now this is a nice suit, with fairly good colors. except for the fact that the buttons on the suit are set too low. if you notice they hang around the crotch to bellybutton area, where they should instead be in the bellybutton to chest area. plus there is NO DARTING ONCE AGAIN. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER EDGEWORTH. and the waistcoat. eehhhhhhhh. once again improper amount of buttons, and honestly it doesnt need lapels but its not too terrible of a style. 

im pretending that the crabot doesnt exist okay. it doesnt exist

6/10

now time for the daddyworth

for a trench coat.... this isnt the best....

first off, trench coats should be slim cut, there should be no bulk since the style is made to make you look sleek. this coat is just slightly too big which you can tell thanks to the sagging around the belt area. also lets talk about the belt area. since where??? is his belt buckle???? wha- no just no, thats flimsy it will fall apart faster without one. 

and with a heavy heart i must say that there is an improper amount of buttons

again

“but vi” you cry “what if its just the style!” if if was the style it wouldnt need a belt, since it has a belt it needs at least 2 more buttons below the belt for it to be proper

i added a point for managing to pull off a fedora

8/10 

ayyyy now we are talking! god i can see why edgeworth is drawn to phoenix, he has the same style suit as his father! It looks to be really well tailored (and it has a properly done tie! nice!) the suit looks so smooth i just want to touch it ooh nice. The only issue i can see here is that the sleeves are just too big. you can tell by the way they dont pull back when gregory lifts his arm (this is the opposite of klaviers problem) even still its a nice suit

8/10

as an added bonus here is dead gregory! because i forgot about him last time

lmao

now its hard to see with all the blood and the fact that its in greyscale, but from what i can see this is a fairly good suit! its seems well cut, the style suits him, the pockets are properly done, i dont really have anything to complain about besides the dead body, its times like these where I wish the most that Manfred didn’t kill him

7/10

Speaking of manfred, he also appears in this game. Now why? you ask might i rate this lower than his last incarnation despite it being nearly identical. Well I do what I want thats why, and my standard for suits has risen too. The Lapels on this are huge and the  details confuse me. Are they part of the fabric? Are they embroidered? What are they? Plus I still have no clue as to how the vest functons whatsoever,,,but added points for having an actual jabot and not edgeworths fake ass one. 

Why does he look like an evil Beethoven

0/10 

I want to die. Please god, take your cruel hand and strike me down where I stand. 

Its so....muscley. Thanks! I hate it! Like? purple and orange, on a suit, tailored so tightly that you can see every individual muscle. what deviantart fetish artist designed this. Its so long too, and not in a good way like miles’s dd suit but in a bizarre dress like way. I hate it

5/10

eeeeeeeuuuuuuuughghhhhhhhhhh

ok first off, why roll up your sleeves that high with your suit jacket still on? just take off the jacket jfc. you’re gonna damage the suit. secondly, that cummerbund is waaay too high. it fucking hits his nipples oh my god. local dumbass has pants all the way up to his armpits, more at 10. At least he has the sense to wear a shawl lapel, looking as hes going for a white tie leaning style, and as an added bonus hes actually wearing a corsage that matches!

7/10

I love that tacky ass tie more than i should but its still ugly as all hell. and yet! the rest of the suit is good. crisp tailoring, proper amount of buttons (especially on the sleeves) the pants look perfect and i love the added pop of color by having the shirt be teal instead of white. this suit is so stupid thanks to the tie but i will die on this hill dont @ me alright. also he has!!!! a belt!!!! technically suits shouldnt have a belt since if they were tailored properly they wouldnt need one, but shut up i like belts

7/10

Yay! another corpse!!! alright so this is basically the same as the previous one, added point for nicer color scheme, removed point for lack of darting in the jacket

stop shooting the nice suits

5/10

oh come on. the suit is nice enough, very horse-ridingish but the main problem here is that its too large all over. the shoulders slouch, the jacket is too long, the pants too baggy, you really shoulnt have to roll up your sleeves that far. why is everyone allergic to darting here oh my god. plus the corsage(?) is in the wrong place, it should be in the area where they got shot at, i have no idea how she would even be wearing it unless she just tacked it on with safety pins and grit.

and boots arent my specialty, but those look uncomfortable as hell

a moment of silence for those who didnt count as suits enough to make the cut

as a special bonus

view her in all her beauty

my heart says 10/10 but my mind is giving her a 7

let me explain why. although the cloak is very nice (it seems catholic inspired, specifically based off of bishops and cardinals cementing her place as a holy figure of respect) the chest area is rather tight. since her appearance is based around nuns and bishops we really shouldnt be seeing so much of her chest details. the purpose of robes like these is to cover thy self as a form of modesty out of respect for god (to be fair she worships a different god than we know) but my point still stands. the rest of her outfit is fine, but her chest, as much as i like it, is not. my only other complaint is that im not sure how the sash stays up with how much its tilted to one side. all i can imagine is her hiking that thing up all day.

[wanderingmendes]

My Everything (Best Friend Shawn AU)

Warnings: cursing, fluff, ANGST

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: It’s kind of short, it kind of sucks and it was gonna be all fluff and smut but then i changed it up last minute bc i feel like all I ever write is smut so (please do not read this its horrible im actually gonna cry i only posted it bc i needed something to post and i didnt edit it bc im tired and i feel like its only half way done and shitty so im sorry)

It was around 8 o’clock when Aaliyah had called you, the conversation started off as it normally would, the two of you just catching up and talking about nothing in particular. She went on and on about the cute new boy who sat behind her in second period math and you listened happily, eating your bowl of ice cream. When the phone call was coming to an end, you could tell she was dragging out the conversation, but you didn’t ask why. But when she finally asked you the question, you knew. ‘Can you come over? Shawn got home a week ago and has been in a mood all week.’ You knew by the way she had said it, that you weren’t supposed to know that Shawn was home, and you weren’t quite sure why he didn’t tell you when he had arrived, but you found yourself gathering an overnight bag nonetheless, assuming that as per usual you would spend the night.

You and Shawn had been friends since kindergarten, and since then he’s always been your big puppy. All throughout your teenage years, everyone questioned if the two of you were dating or not, your parents even tried to get the two of you to go out together once but you guys just didn’t click in that way. That was until you were ready to leave for college. It was about a year and a half ago, your first year of college. You’d be attending NYU, which was a hike and a half from your hometown Pickering, and the idea of a new place excited you. You were stuffing your bags into the back of Shawn’s Jeep seeing as he was going to drop you off at the airport. It was shocking to almost everyone that the two of you had remained so close during Shawn’s rise to stardom, but no matter what happened, nothing changed between the two of you except the amount of miles separating you.

The weeks leading up to your departure it was as if something between you and Shawn clicked, like everything suddenly made sense. You both could feel it, but neither one of you mentioned it out of fear of ruining your friendship. Shawn however, decided to mention it in the car on the way to the airport that day. The conversation was less than pleasant, leaving the both of you in tears at the fact that being together in that way wouldn’t work, but you knew it was for the best that you didn’t try anything long distance. You had promised that if you both felt the same after you had graduated, you’d give it a shot and so far- for you, nothing has changed one bit.

Arriving at the Mendes household, you were pretty sure you knew what to expect. Aaliyah, Manny and Karen would all welcome you with wide open arms, and Shawn would probably be shocked, but ecstatic to see you. Climbing out of your car, you leave your bag in the passenger seat before locking the car and walking up the driveway, not bothering to knock before entering the house. You kick off your shoes by the front door, the sound of the television playing alongside running water and the clattering of pots and pans. You make your way into the house, the kitchen being your first stop, you find three of the four family members in the kitchen. Manny and Karen are sitting at the table, talking quietly about god knows what while Aaliyah works on cleaning up from dinner. You clear your throat, letting them know that you’re here, and immediately after, Karen rushes over to you. She exhales and pulls you in for a hug, “Thank god you’re here,” She pauses to pull away from you, looking over at Aaliyah who is now standing next to her. “He’d been driving everyone crazy since he’s gotten home.”

“What’s he doing exactly?” You ask, smiling at Aaliyah and pulling her in for a long hug, despite the situation at hand. Manny watches you all from the table, face full of exhaustion and frustration.

“I’ll explain upstairs, come with me.” Aaliyah sighs, grabbing ahold of your wrist and leading you out of the kitchen. She turns to her mom momentarily saying, “I’ll finish the dishes when I come back down, don’t worry about them.”

The two of you quietly make your way up the steps and past Shawn’s bedroom. His door is shut all the way, something uncommon for Shawn. Usually, his door would be opened a little bit, or sometimes all the way. Aaliyah shuts her bedroom door, and the both of you let out a breath, before sitting down on the edge of her bed. She turns to you and begins to speak, “Where do you want me to start?”

“Tell me everything I need to know.” You say, curiosity getting the best of you. By the way she sounded over the phone you could tell she was serious, but you didn’t think she was this serious.

She nods, playing with the scrunchie on her wrist, “He got back home a week ago and was mobbed at the airport on his way in and it really put him in a sour mood, so as soon as he arrived home he took it out on all of us. We were dumbfounded to be completely honest, it’s so unlike him to act like that after not seeing us for over two months. We let it slide at first, thinking it was just a bad day but then day by day he began to get less aggressive and more antisocial.” Your eyes widen at her statement, Shawn and antisocial should never belong in the same sentence, if anything he was the social butterfly of the two of you. Always trying to push your boundaries, help you gain new experiences. “He’s just been in this kind of depressed, kind of angry state and we thought that if we mentioned you to him, it’d lighten his mood but all it did was piss him off even more, and-”

“So you guys called me over here, knowing he didn’t want to see me?” You ask, your heart feeling heavy at the thought of Shawn being angry at you, “And why is he upset with me?”

Aaliyah gives you a sympathetic smile, paired with a quick shrug, “I don't know y/n, but I feel as if you’re the last hope. Brian’s stopped by, Geoff has stopped by, even Andrew has stopped by and each and everyone of them leaves within a half an hour of entering the house. He’s just not having any of it, and I’m done with his hissy fit. He needs to get over whatever it is and act like himself.”

Her abrasive side was shocking you, she was never one to speak of anyone in such a way, and the fact that the words fell so easily from her mouth added a whole new level of intensity to the situation. After exchanging a few more words, the two of you parted ways, her bidding you a ‘good luck’ as she left you standing outside of Shawn’s bedroom door. What were you supposed to do? Just barge in like normal? Knock? Call out to him? After a few moments of debating, you lift your hand up to knock, sucking in a breath only to have the door be swung out, hitting your toe.

“Fuck! Fuck oh god, jesus christ Shawn!” You yelp, falling against the wall behind you and bending down to cradle your foot.

“Y/n?” He asks, but not in the excited was he usually would. “Why are you here?”

You hiss, planting your foot back on the ground and scanning him. He’s wearing a pair of gray joggers along with a white tank top showing from underneath of a black zip up hoodie. His hair is shorter than usual, a frown crossing your face when you realize he had cut his curls. But worst of all is his face, he’s pale and the normal, crazy, bright eyed smile he usually had was gone and replaced by a tight, forced smile. “Shawn,” You whisper, your eyes softening at his appearance. “What’s wrong bubs?”

His eyes flash with a wave of emotion at the nickname, and for just a moment you see your Shawn. “Leave.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, your shoulders falling and your mood deflating, “What?” You ask softly, not believing you had heard him right.

He rolls his eyes, holding his door knob and messing with it as he speaks, “Leave y/n, I don’t want to see you.”

A sudden wave of emotion crosses over you and next thing you know, you’re storming into his room, shoving past him and crossing your arms over your chest, waiting for him to return to his room. He does, closing the door and facing away from you for a moment, his breathing shallow and heavy as he turns, anger evident on his face.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Your voice shakes as you speak, hands coming up to grip at your hair while you try to regroup your thoughts. He says nothing, just stands there visibly angry, waiting for you to speak. “I can’t believe that I drove all the way over here, this late, excited to see you again and this is you treat me? By telling me to leave?”

“If I wanted to see you I would’ve called you over.” Shawn scoffs, his posture mimicking yours as the two of your raged in your own separate corners. “Don’t you think there's a reason I didn’t tell you I was home?”

When he mentions that, it reminds you, “Yeah about that, why the hell didn’t you tell me you got home last week? Don’t you think i’ve missed you? That I wanted to see you?”

He shrugs, cooly responding, “You could’ve checked numerous update accounts to see that I had arrived home.”

You barely knew how to respond to that, or to any of this really. You and Shawn had your fair share of fights in the past but nothing like this. Nothing so aggressive and cold, usually it’d be over something small and stupid, but this seemed to have a deep rooted meaning in Shawn’s mind and your mission was to uncover the root of the issue. “Or you, my best friend could have called me and told me you were home.” You say, a bit more calm now, knowing that yelling wasn’t going to get you anywhere. When he doesn’t speak, you take it as your que to continue on. “What’s wrong with you, first I have to find out from your sister that you’re home, and then I find out you’ve been treating your entire family like complete shit, and not to mention the fact that you kicked three of your closest friends out of your house in the past week!”

“It’s really none of your concern,” He spits, taking a step towards you. You stand tall allowing him to approach, but not back down. “You’re far too busy doing anything other than paying attention to me anyway, I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you and pull you away your oh so busy life.”

His mockery makes your blood boil, but still you try to remain calm, the rosy cheeked, angry boy in front of you beginning to scare you a bit. “Is that the issue here? That i’m not giving you enough attention?”

He reaches over, knocking everything off his desk in one swift motion a gasp leaving your mouth as he does so. This time, when he begins to step closer, you find yourself backing into the wall. “It’s always about you, isn’t it? You always need to be involved in my life, making sure i’m okay, do I need this, do I need that?” You back is pressed against the wall now, his hands on either side of your head as he yells, head ducking down to become level with yours. “Just do me a favor and fuck off!” He slams his hand down on the wall next to you, a cry leaving your lips as you flinch away from him. You hear him shuffle away from you, and when you look at him, his expression is soft and sad. “Did you think that I,” He pauses, looking at his hands as they begin to shake. “Did you think I would hit you?” He asks, his voice breaking this time around.

You gulp, your voice a bit raspy as you hold back tears. The combination of his words and actions upsetting you, “I don’t know anymore Shawn, I don’t know you.” Tears pool in your eyes at your words, and his shoulders drop, losing their rigidness as he watches you begin to break in front of him. Everything had escalated so quickly, one minute you were happily waking through his front door and now here your were standing across from him not sure if he wanted to hit your or hug you. “I don’t know this version of Shawn, this isn’t my Shawn. I want my Shawn back,” The two of you stare at each other in silence, the only sounds filling the room being your sniffling alongside his heavy breathing. “I should go, I’m sorry I even stopped by.”

He stands frozen as you walk past him and towards his bedroom door, you turn the handle only to be stopped by a careful, warm palm atop your own. You turn slowly, looking up and see a sight that breaks your heart for the second time in the last ten minutes. He’s crying. Seeing Shawn cry was a rare occasion, you had only seen him cry twice, both those times being due to the death of a family member, so to see him crying now, so vulnerable in front of you, it broke you. “I’m so-” His voice cuts off, and he squeezes his eyes shut, gripping your hand. He tries to recover, but his sobbing gets louder and before you know it, your wrapped up in his arms.

He tugs you into him, his arms wrapping all the way around your body and tugging you flush against him. You melt into him, hugging him tightly back and letting him cry into your shoulder, nose brushing against your shoulder. You cry too, eyes focused to the wall behind him as your tears fall quietly, your chest heaving as you try to stop yourself from crying any harder. “It’s not fair,” He says suddenly, grabbing your attention as he nuzzles into your neck, his tears dropping onto your skin as he continues to cry. “It’s not fair for me to take my frustration out on anyone at all, ever and i’m sorry for doing that to you, and my family. I know you guys mean the best for me. All of this branched from one issue I’ve been trying to deal with for almost a year now, and everytime I think i’ve coped with it, it pops back up and i'm back at square one. I’m running myself wild, chasing my tail like a fool.”

You nod in confirmation of his words, the gesture reminding him that you’re here. “Shawn?” You ask, your voice still shaky, afraid that if it were too loud it’d trigger something in him, causing him to react how he did a few minutes ago.

“Yes honey?” He asks, pulling away from you to look down at you, his thumbs instinctively reaching up to wipe your tears, large palms cradling your face.

Your lip quivers as you look at him before saying, “Please talk to me bubs, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to be here for you.”

He looks away from you for a moment, biting his lip. That was a nervous habit of his, and usually was a sign for you, letting you know that he was about to let you in on something he was either quite shy about or unsure about. “You’re wrong,” He says finally, eyes now dry and meeting yours. His red, sniffly nose matches yours, bloodshot eyes mirroring one anothers. You got to speak, but he beats you to it, “Everything about us is wrong y/n, I can’t be with you like this anymore.”

“Shawn, what are you talking about?” You ask, tears beginning to well up once again as you assume that this is the beginning of the end for the both of you.

“Don’t cry again,” He cries out, reaching out to hold you hand in his and rub circles into the back of your hand. “Don’t cry, i’m not leaving you.” That statement reassures you, and suddenly you’re curious once again, “I can’t be with you like this- as friends, anymore because i’m in love with you. I have been for a while now, and I can’t not be with you any longer, I know we said that we’d wait for you to be finished up college, but I can’t do that honey.” Your hand leaves his to grab him by the tricep, pulling him into you and staring up at him in awe as he smiles down at you, speaking straight from his heart. “Everytime your name pops up on my phone, I smile like the biggest idiot in the world, because that’s what I am for you. I’m a fool fo you, a complete and utter trainwreck because of you, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I was so lost in the thought of what it would be like to have you, as mine and then reality would sink in. A reality in which you weren’t with me, and it was driving me mad, and it somehow turned into me taking it out on everyone around me, and consuming me in the worst way, and I can’t deal with that anymore.”

“What are you saying?” You ask, your voice now regaining some strength. “You can’t deal with me anymore?”

He smiles up at the ceiling like a maniac, his arms blindly folding themselves around you and holding you into him. “You’re so clueless,” He laughs, causing you to smile at the sound. His eyes meet yours and the next words to fall from his mouth have you smiling at the ceiling like a maniac. “Be with me. Let me call you mine, and you can call me yours. Let me be your everything, let me be for you, what you are for me. Be mine, honey.”

An overwhelming joy consumes you at this very moment as you throw yourself against Shawn, him picking you up without a second thought. “Yes, yes i’ll be yours Shawn, yes.”

The two of you spent the rest of the night cuddled into one another, part of it spent by Shawn explaining himself the rest of the way, and the other part spent exploring one another. He told you of all the things he had seen in the past year that had reminded him of you, and of the ways he tried to distract himself from the thought of you. He told you what you meant to him, and how highly he valued you and loved you in between kissing your naked skin, holding you beneath his bed sheets. The two of you exchanged those three words for the the first time in a way that lovers would. You took your time getting to know more about eachother, even though it seemed close to impossible to do so. But most importantly, after the longest week of your life, you had gotten your Shawn back. The Shawn you grew to love, the Shawn you had no choice but to fall for. To you, Shawn was the most beautiful thing to have ever happened to you. Shawn was your day, and your night, your happiness and sadness combined. He was your good days and bad days all wrapped into one, he was your everything, and you had no intention on letting him go anytime soon.

[aj521z]

The even numbers please

2. where do you see yourself living in 10 years?

- In a box

4. has your aesthetic changed at all in the last year?

- Nope im a basic jeans and t-shirt gay

6. name three books that changed your life.

- Human Anatomy Martini, Evolution Bergstrom, and Organic Chemistry, 11th edition Solomons. Made me want to die

8. what three songs can you not get enough of right now?

- Miles apart - Nick Wilson, Loving you - belle mt, The Head and the Heart - Don’t Dream it’s over 

10. state an unpopular opinion that you have.

- 

12. describe your ideal date?

- Food 

14. if you could have dinner with anybody, who would it be?

- CP. jk I’d die 

16. what’s your favorite instrument?

- Guitar bc I play it. But I loooove sax

18. what’s a topic that you wish you knew more about?

- I’ve taken a wilderness med class, but I’d love to know more!

20. favorite fruit & vegetable?

- Fruit: apples

- veg: zucchini 

22. favorite beverage?

- water

24. are you reading a book at the moment? what do you like about it?

- Human anatomy by Martini. Nothing 

26. what’s your favorite season & why?

- WINTER 😍 I hate hot weather hahahah

28. what do you do when you need to de-stress?

- Play guitar, hike

30. name an experience in your life you wish you could do over?

- a lot

32. what’s your favorite weather?

- coolllllld (not wind tho)

34. describe a time that you were brave.

- Had to do CPR

36. do you have a place you go to when you feel stressed/sad?

- -> @corny-17

38. what time is it where you are?

- 8:42 PM

40. got any summer plans?

- I mean technically it’s summer in Australia when I’m going, so... I’m going to Australia!

42. favorite film genre?

- SciFi

44. describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

- ummmm I like lifting, so strong i guess ahahhaha

46. are you on good terms with your parents?

- Yes

48. do you typically look for a partner with the same traits as you or someone to complement yours?

- Just whoever I vibe with!

50. put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs to play.

- Already answered