#that is the quality has left the chat it's left the building it's dead and buried

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 01/12/2023

Patched Plains Fusion Collab

Season 2 Featured on: Rips of Christmas Past Also on: SiIvaGunner: Starter Kit & Essentials

Ripped by MtH, dante, turdl3, Charles Ritz, TylerNJazz, toonlink, trivial171, wolfman1405, Chaze the Chat, Princess Sylvysprit, beat_shobon, Can of Nothing

December!! Christmas times!! The holidays!! Wahoo!!

There's of course always a lot of excitement in the air during December, even if its...largely manufactured by big companies. Yet ever since 2016, I've had far more of a personal attachment to the month - the end of SiIvaGunner Season 1, and the beginning of Season 2, was some of the most engrossed I've ever been engrossed with a piece of media - and it was all punctuated with the Patched Plains Fusion Collab.

It may be hard to truly convey to newer SiIva viewers just how suspenseful and strange the month of October was during 2016. For all intents and purposes, the channel appeared to have truly ENDED with Epic Flintstones, and everything that led up to its release just further cemented that. We'd gotten behind-the-scenes reveals of unresolved content, some of the channel's biggest projects and collaborations up to that point, a huge amount of new albums within such a short amount of time...there was very little to suggest that SiIva wouldn't actually be ending. Yet viewers paying attention would be able to connect the dots, these small little hints dropped during the finale, all connected to "Wood Man" - and mind you, this was before he was even established as a character on the channel!

Just a few days after the official ending, as SiIva had gone to sleep and the channel had been avoiding uploads for so long - uploads suddenly returned, as this "Wood Man" character became the new host at the start of November. This wasn't the first time a story event had been happening on SiIva, yet it was one that left us as viewers confused and in the dark of what was truly happening, due to the lack of a proper narrator. After just two weeks and an album release, halfway through the month, uploads suddenly ceased and the channel went dark. So...was the channel actually dead? Was this just a little bonus Halloween thing, to let the team play around with Wood Man as a character in an epilogue to the actual channel?

Turns out, it was all build-up to December - to the Christmas Comeback Crisis. The channel ending, the virus in his computer, the Voice Inside Your Head, Wood Man - it was all revealed to be part of this all new ongoing storyline, presented to us in full-on episodes during the month of December. Like a light switch turned on, the confusion and uncertainty of November turned into full-on celebration of SiIva's seemingly-now-confirmed return to regular uploading. This was the start of Season 2 - and it was, in my eyes, an absolutely perfect premiere.

I really want to go more in-depth on this someday, but I'll circle back to Patched Plains Fusion Collab to round the story out - because really, it was this rip that really cemented Season 2 as having officially begun, halfway through December 2016. It had been a month since Wood Man's sudden leave from the channel, and out of nowhere we're given an animated prologue to this all-new Christmas-themed storyline, directly based on Kirby: Planet Robobot from earlier that year. And after that sudden gut punch, we're treated to an absolute feast for the ears - a red-carpet introduction to the sort of quality we were about to experience. Kirby: Planet Robobot already had a heavy presence on SiIva due to The Reboot, and so starting this big new story event off with another rip from that same game felt like a sort of reassurance - this wasn't a bit, or a side story, or anything of the sort, but the full next step of the SiIvaGunner channel.

As a rip, it's frankly excellent - it has all the quality of the average Fusion Collab on the channel condensed down to just two minutes, covering everything from different genres of music, different games, different time signatures, and everything inbetween - a remix collaboration in the purest sense of the word, and an absolute treat to listen to. A big benefit to fusion collabs of this nature is that you're able to very clearly identify who is responsible for what parts of the rip - Princess Sylvyspirit's involvement is immediately noticeable as soon as the Touhou segment begins, Chaze's affection for MOTHER 3 is expressed through his part in the collaboration, and so on!

Despite the song only having a brief segment on Christmas near the beginning, the spirit is absolutely there throughout all of Patched Plains Fusion Collab - its a celebration of what was to come, a joyous theme that let all of its collaborators truly show their stuff at the start of this new age for the channel. And its a rip that I often come back to just for that sheer nostalgia alone.

[awiola]

Normal update, autumn??? XXIII

Okay, so I thought it would be a nice, winter quarterly update but turns out the last one was titled summer and I guess going by calendar, winter barely started so it's??? autumn??? I guess??? Last day of the year but autumn, sure, let's go with that. That being the case, I have no new year's pic for y'all cause I can't draw I was devving uhh, rly hard, let's say. Totally.

Anyway, the mushroom jam has ended and I planned to have a release update BUT THEN I DIDN'T FINISH THE GAME ON TIME YET AGAIN, who would've thought, so, like, there's nothing. I mean, something exists but yeah >_> I'll write a devlog when it finally looks presentable. Moving on...

Current game stuff

The spooktober game has been finished, kinda - The enmity of dead things. It, well, it works and it contains the full script and everything but lacks both art and music cause I couldn't finish it on time laziness goes brrr. Then I wanted a break and worked on other games and kinda left it like that... So that's the first item on my "Finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list. All in all it wasn't a total failure and I had fun for the most part. Committing to my bad decisions [look at the textbox] is actually the main cause the game wasn't finished on time... You live and don't learn.

The failure of the year... Or quarter at least - Mushroom game. Despite being technically published to add it to the jam, it's so unfinished I won't even link it here. And it's all my fault cause I was being lazy and, as usual, forgot I can't actually program. Yeah...

Helped with Cool Days. There's really not much of my work there, I honestly considered making a new category for games I kinda helped with but tbh the amount of work actually finished was close to zero but hey, it's still more than nothing so Check it out, it has cool graphics.

The ace teens game got shelved/postponed and it's not my fault this time but instead we're working on a fantasy kinda thing for Ace jam [and maybe also Zack jam while we're at it but that might've been said in jest]. Fortunately it's small enough I don't expect any delays. I can say it involves a golem who isn't a humanoid (灬˘╰╯˘灬)♥｡･ﾟ

Now for the big thing.

Fanfares, please.

🎉🎉🎉

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME - is a game for winter jam which also happens to be a demo cause we ran out of time but! - it will be finished soon-ish. I'll share more details in the release devlog so if the link to the game works already, that means the page's up and so is all the info. If it doesn't work, check again in a few hours but I'm assuming most people who actually read all that will do so post winter jam anyway.

Genre wise it's an otome chat sim comedy that's extremely self indulged and I'm not ashamed of that. Gotta make games for yourself and all that. Though, again, my own conribution to the development process remains minimal. I'm truly becoming the idea guy.

The "Finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list aka the stuff that should've been finished already but isn't

Umm, yeah, everything. Or, to be more specific, Mushroom game and Enmity take priority here but all the other games that needed some quality of life adjustments like making the web build work on mobile etc are also included [which is kinda funny cause a lot of them could be corrected in like an hour if I actually sat and did just that].

It's been more than three years since I released Argousze and yes, you gessed it, it's also unfinished. Which is extra funny in a pathetic way cause it was supposed to be a low effort game with, like, 2k words of wordcount. To be fair I kinda dropped it cause I couldn't design my aliens but maybe I'll actually get a good idea for once and manage to release it on its fourth anniversary. That'd be nice.

Other than that, well... That's more of a resolution than anything but I should stop constantly joining new teams and all... And either take a proper dev break or work on ye olde projects waiting for me since the beginning of HS. I'll become older than my oldest LI before I finish them at this point lol

Pariiish noootiiiceees

This year we're gonna have two new jams instead of one. Stuff happened and yeah. No links just yet cause not only are the pages not finished but there's also no planned date/duration beyond 'sometime in the later part of the year'.

The first jam is Tentacle jam which, I'm pretty sure, would bring us eroges. This was not my intention and all kind of sfw tentacles are allowed but tbh as long as there's a proper story, even a nukige would pass. Basically the rules remain like in all the previous jams I hosted.

The second jam is Insect [adjacent] jam which actually accepts all kinds of arthropods but it started as just insect jam and I wanted to keep the name. So yeah. Obviously more detailed rules of what's allowed would be written on the page when it's up properly and not in a half dead state like right now.

Incidentally, whatever the date ends up being, both of these jams would be hosted at the same time so if you wanted to make a story taking place underwater or something, you could submit it to both of these jams. Neat, right?

That's it for this year.

Over.

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep 17 spoilers

GUESS WHOS BACK

Oh heyyyy it’s out in English (quality’s shakey but I don’t care at this point)

VILLAINS REALLY JUST BE SPINNING LLOYD. Isn’t he getting blood rushing to his head by now? Or neck ache?

The overlord looks like a fuzzy lion tbh. Like the shape. Actually he’s giving me fnaf freddy vibes. I haven’t scene a lot of fnaf tho

Overlord rlly be like, first I gotta accessories these bitches. The overlord is that meme where

Council: bye overlord we’re gonna take over the world!

Overlord: not looking like that you aren’t

Council: better?

Overlord: yass bitch slay

(I don’t remember how it goes)

Wow these guys sure know etiquette. Always remember to say please and thank you when the embodiment of evil hands you the weapons of god

Overlord: “yeah I guess I was trying to impress you like oh my god I’m just trying out my fashion career why are you so judgey im gonna cry I don’t wanna take over the world I just wanna start up my fashion business and I needed the golden weapons as the perfect accessories the catchphrase to my line up is “we put the slay in slayyy queeen” ahhhh”

Overlord: “was that not cool for you?? I’m also renovating, I’m gonna float my castle please tell me it’s cool also can you please look at my Lego army I forced Harumi to build out of Lego for me and please no mean comments I’m insecure 👉👈”

Actually love how the overlord has insecure vibes I mean he literally forced pythor to eat him just so the robots wouldn’t judge him yknow

THE COUNCIL REALLY JUST BEING MORAL EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THEYRE LIKE “ITS OKAY OVERLORD WE THINK UR COOL”

Wow okay aspheera really said fuck you vangelis btw did you I’m really cool and awesome. Like what tf did vangelis do man he was just standing there only to get absolutely slammed by aspheera man

Ohh yeah. Anti monarchist mechanic for real. Amazing. The overlord (the Crystal king) didn’t comment on it, but he was like bestie I’m right here

Everyone’s relationship with royalty is great

Pythor: became king through legal serpentine conventions (also lost the crown legally since he was proclaimed dead)

Aspheera: overthrew the emperor illegally and reinstated herself as empress

Vangelis: got overthrown himself

Harumi: legally was princess but overthrew her parents to reinstate someone else as emperor

Mechanic: anti monarchist

Mr F: literally just some guy

The Crystal king: what is he even king of? Is it just an empty title

Harumi internally: I’m beginning to sense a pattern in me resurrecting bad guys being a bad idea

Honestly Lloyd is such a king, he’s so sassy when like he thinks all his friends are dead, he’s in a room filled with all his trauma being confronted by the guy who possessed his father, uncle and killed zane. Damn he really chose sass instead of sad

The overlord really was like “choice number 3 🥺” sorry I can’t get baby boy puppy dog ck out of my head

Lloyd was like “great chat guys, *knocks over temple* imma head out now lol” yesss king!

Vangelis: oh yeah I can fly whOOP

That was such a cool scene but vangelis really got hit by random vengestone. He scored a nat 1 on his dexterity check

They’re like elementary schoolers “yes Lord!”

Istg Harumi now you choose to care about Lloyd. “Now he has no family (I killed them) he’s just like me and I sympathise!” Bestieeeee wtf. Can we pretend that that’s what ck said (yeah I’m calling the overlord Crystal king ck now lol)

Lloyd “I’m fucking lost :]”

“Ninja can’t fly” *coughs* airjitsu *coughs more* *dies of coughing fit*

Crystalised ice shuriken is so cool. But mr f said he prefers GUN

Vangelis and Mechanic completely ruining Pythor’s moment and it’s better bc they literally do not have any personal connections with Lloyd pffft

Oh my fucking got WHO IN THE CRYSTAL C*CK HAS THE BRAIN CELL TODAY BECAUSE ITS SHARED AND IT HAS BEEN LOST YALL YOU GUYS DID A SMALL BRAIN

Harumi has the brain cell too bad she also suddenly has emotions now too

Yeah team Crystal c*ck definitely left the brain cell at home, guys why did no one notice Harumi leave??

Woah it’s super convenient that this castle is fitted with automatic doors that don’t turn off when they have a security breach. I see the overlord really does value style over sense

The entirety of the c*ck squad shaking their heads “straight people…” (sorry for making an explicitly llorumi joke we don’t ship it here bc incest??? I just wanted to point out that I think the c*ck squad hates straight ppl. Also yes the council are all gay)

Tbh the impact of hitting the water from that height should have shattered their skulls. Luckily Lloyd is playing by minecraft logic

Aspheera: jump after them

Vangelis: *can fly*

Also vangelis: *fucking leaves*

Lloyd carrying around Harumi, a deadweight in the water, just like how he carries harumi, a deadweight to his emotional health

Lava 👀

Wu: “guys I have a plan but it’s illegal”

Everyone: “hell yeah fuck the police”

Ik it looks like I just made fun of the Crystal king and co for 10 minutes (Tbf I did) but none of that is complaints this so great, and honestly I enjoyed this, it was amazing. Im here for quirky gay legos in hot pink and vivid purple and that’s what I got hell yeah. Also crimeboss Wu appreciation

[ghostbustershq]

Let's Build the Fanhome Ecto-1: Issue 29 (Stages 107 through 110)

The build is back!

When Eaglemoss went under just about a year ago in July, I feared the worst for my subscription Ecto-1 build. The kit was a whole lot of fun. And, if you followed along with our builds on the Ghostbusters Interdimensional Crossrip podcast, Chris and I had a great chat every time we would sit and work on our models. It was a double-whammy to have lost the flow of subscription kits and to lose that amazing time with Chris. It sure seemed like a lot of us were going to be stuck with half (or less) built Ecto-1 models.

Enter the good folks at Fanhome, who have taken over the licenses from Eaglemoss and resurrected the subscriptions from the dead. You can now sign up to start from issue one, or pick up from where you may have left off with Eaglemoss and continue via Fanhome. Fanhome has made it super easy to pick which issue you need to begin with and their intuitive website and responsive customer service have been a breath of fresh air.

With the podcast having switched to a more infrequent model, I’ve decided to detail my builds here on the news blog hopefully as reference for those who may need it or for a quick overview for those of you who may be on the fence about joining the club. The model is amazing in quality, and Fanhome gives you all the tools that you need (with a few expendable exceptions like painters tape that I’ll get into a bit later here). If you’re a lot like me and you need 20-30 minutes of downtime to just follow instructions and enter a zen meditative state, this build is for you. It’s just challenging enough to make it fun without being frustrating and, as the end results start to come together, having your own faithful 1:8 scale Ecto sitting on shelf sure is cool as hell.

Fanhome was kind enough to send over a new initial kit, which we’ll be building here on the HQ in the future, but for now - I’m going to pick up with where I left off a year ago, with Issue 29 (Stages 107 through 110), which comprises parts of the left and right rear wheel wells, and the ‘59 Miller Meteor Ecto-1’s iconic red tail fins.

WIth that, let’s crack into it, eh?

When Issue 29 arrived, I cackled with glee. Again, not thinking that this model would ever see completion, getting a box in the mail from Fanhome was a treat. Fanhome sends your monthly subscription in a brilliant purple package, another step beyond the generic mailers that would come from Eaglemoss. The company is really making your monthly shipments a grand event, and it’s pretty cool.

The first thing you’ll notice with this issue’s shipment is that it includes a revised passenger front door. Eaglemoss had mistakenly sent out their kits with a passenger mirror recessed in the initial stage and had been promising a fixed door to those who waited. When it didn’t look like Eaglemoss was coming back, I went ahead and built out the door that I had been sent and attached it to the body of the car — so I’m not entirely sure what to do. Pulling the door off at this point would be a pretty dramatic overhaul. But if I’m going to do it, now’s going to be the chance. I set the revised door aside and… I’ll make that decision later. Worst case, I have an Ecto with a stem for a passenger mirror. Ha!

The door conundrum aside, Stage 107 is pretty straight-forward and a relative breeze. The right rear fender “crown” has just two steps. But key on this one is that the chrome trim at the top of the fin doesn’t attach permanently at this point in the build, so you have to be careful not to lose both it and the rear trim. If you plow through the whole issue, it isn’t that big of a deal. But if you pace yourself out and only do one stage at a time, don’t forget it’s another piece you need to set aside for later. Pro-tip: I have a gallon-sized Ziplock that I set aside which contains only the parts that you’ve set aside for later (things like the steering wheel, etc.). If I know I’m going to have to come back to it later, into the Ziploc it goes.

Stage 108, the Right Rear Reflector and Outer Light Lens is also pretty straightforward and cruises by in a snap. The one thing to look out for on this stage is that the outside inner lens is a very small clear piece that isn’t seated in the tray too well when you open it. Chances are, it will pop out when you open up the package and blends into its surroundings with relative ease. At first, I thought my kit was missing the lens but later discovered it floating in the tray.

Also a curious last step to this stage, you have to replace two screws on either side of the car’s body with flatter machine screws than what were initially installed. I’m thinking this was a course correct for an error that may have popped up earlier in the build. And, when you attach the whole completed part to the body of the car, it actually makes a lot of sense that you need a good flush connection to hold all the plastic pieces against the body of the car.

Stage 109 is where the challenge of this particular issue comes into play. The rear fins have two main pieces with two horizontally mirroring rear tail lights. And, while the assembly of the pieces in this stage isn’t the hardest of steps (that continues to be building the engine at the beginning of the build), the wiring to get the LED wires and bulbs into the tail lights is a bit tricky. You have to pull one of the wires marked R off of your assembled body and wire it into this piece. It took me a bit of trial and error but I found that bending the wire behind the bulb lens slightly to fish the bulb into the housing was a good first step. Then, using the flat back of the supplied tweezers, you can almost shoehorn the bulb into place. The bulb doesn’t seem to go ALL the way into the lens, but it does pop in enough that it won’t shake around or fall out of place.

Once you finally get the two LED bulbs plugged into the lenses, it becomes a matter of snapping everything together into place and then attaching it to the wheel well. This is one of those fun partworks stages where you wish that you had three hands: one to hold all the pieces together, another to push further down the part, and a third hand to be turning the screws to affix everything together. In some instances, a little painter’s tape helps. Or a clamp. But with a couple goes, I was able to snap this all together without additional assistance. Only minor hand cramping. I’m old. It happens. Ha!

With the whole piece assembled, here’s the fun part: attaching it to the main body of the car. Again, after staring at my poor Ecto-1 sitting on the shelf missing wheel wells and these red fins, boy-oh-boy was this gratifying to finally do. It felt like, after a long winter working on a 10,000 piece puzzle, finding the ONE piece that had been missing for months and dropping it into place. There’s quite a bit of hardware that goes into keeping this piece in place, and you have to be careful to thread the wires exactly as they’re shown in the diagram - because they need to snake all the way around the rear of the car and through the left side wheel well also. This is where I definitely recommend a little bit of painters tape to help act as that third hand for you to keep things in place, both during this stage and after. I dropped a little piece of painter’s tape under the cargo door to keep the two wires in place for the next couple stages. Also be sure that you’re using the red tab to keep the wires under the cargo door. Tuck those guys under before you affix the IM screw down.

After quite a bit of screw turning (there’s at least seven IM screws and four NP screws to this stage), I had to flip the body over to take a look and admire. It’s been a long time coming darlin’. You deserve this moment.

The final stage to this issue is a cakewalk. You’re basically prepping to work on the other side of the rear of the car by attaching the skirting to the left rear fending. It’s a quick and easy step that you can set the finished product aside and enjoy the rest of the awesome magazine contents and drop the booklet into your binder. Hopefully after all this time, you still have your binder and the prongs to attach the magazines to them.

All in all, this was a whole lot of fun. After a year and counting of not sitting down to work on the car, I had to shake out a little rust - and realized how over-caffeinated I was with my shaky hands. I’m just so glad to be getting monthly shipments again to finish off this car and finally have what will become one of the crown-jewels in the GBHQ collection.

Our thanks to the good folks at Fanhome for reviving the subscription build, sending us stages for review and for keeping the engine running for us all. If you’d like to start up your subscription, now is the time as they’re only offering new and continued subscriptions for a limited time… presumably because they’re dealing with the limited stock from the Eaglemoss days. So act now if you’re interested and happy building!

[eveningstar1516]

Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 11

Rise of the Demon King

Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: I gotta Discord server guys! It's primarily Obey Me but other fandoms are welcome as well. It's kinda baby and dead so me and the other members are looking to revive it and we'd love for you to come join us. A roleplay area is included :) https://discord.gg/F3YEmDZCPS Please remember to read and accept the rules once you join for access to all the channels. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously:

After that day, Beel would take responsibility for waking the youngest whenever he slept for too long and Belphie took responsibility for making sure Beel ate whenever he was awake. From that day forward, you’d never find one twin without the other close by. Their relationship strengthened, one relying on the other. Always being there when needed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 11 - 2 Realms, 2 Families (2003 words)

Making my way up the palace steps, I took notice of the lack of angels tending the gardens or palace. Oh well, I thought to myself. It is still too early for any of them to get to work. Michael led me through the castle towards the throne room. It was the same route we took on my first day here, only this time, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was about to be my last. Stopping in front of the door, Michael announced our presence and waited for the angels inside to open the doors for us. I’ve been in the throne room a small handful of times since my first day. Today, however, the atmosphere felt a little off. Normally, one would feel a sense of dread walking into this room, as it usually meant punishment. All ceremonies took place in the garden, the throne room being deemed as an unofficial courtroom. Today the atmosphere felt almost, denser than usual. Michael and I made our way towards the throne and kneeled before Father.

“Rise”

Both of us responded with a “Thank you Father” as we stood. God turned to face me.

“I apologize for calling for you this late. I do hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Not to worry Father, I was actually up finishing this week's work when Michael came to get me. If I may ask, why did you want to see me?”

“I called you to make an offer. I have observed how you ran the council this past millennium. I’ve seen your leadership and your dedication to your job. I’d like to offer you a permanent spot on the council.”

“Father, I’m sure-”

“I’m well aware of our initial deal. Bear in mind that this will not impede on your ability to see the Sins again. As head of the council, it will be your job to oversee business in the Devildom as Michael had been while you were here. You will be able to travel between the realms for business and visit the brothers while you’re there.”

“But I’d have to return and continue serving you, won’t I?”

“That is correct. You are a unique individual Y/N. You are a human with the blood of a fallen, you accepted the demons and was still elevated to the Celestial realm. As such, you have experience from all three realms. This is a powerful tool to have.”

“For you. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I am not interested in staying, nor am I interested in allowing you access to this “tool” as you so crudely labelled my experience. I made it abundantly clear that I serve you under the condition that I return once Lord Diavolo has been crowned. As the Father of the Celestials, I expect that your promises would be kept. Unless that is your telling me I’d have more luck trusting a demon if I wanted promises kept?”

“Y/N! While you’re here, you still serve Father. You cannot speak to him like that!”

“I’m not wrong though am I? If that is all, I’d like to get some rest before reporting in. Good evening, or should I say morning?” I didn’t wait for a response as I bowed to Father and walked out of the throne room without so much of a glance back.

“I apologize Father. I will see that they don’t speak that way to you again.”

“That’s quite alright Michael.”

“Father?”

“I find it to be one of their more enduring qualities. They don’t take anything from anyone, regardless of their position. It’s a valuable trait to have, if used correctly.”

“Father, you weren’t really going to cement their position as the leader of the council, were you?”

“No, I knew they wouldn’t have agreed anyway. I wanted to test them. By offering the position permanently, they would have gained an abundance of power and authority.”

“Instead they turned it down to be with Samael and his brothers. I still don’t understand what they see in them.”

“It would be wise to re-think your opinion on Lucifer and his family. Contrary to what you think, they haven’t changed much. If you looked at it from an outsider's perspective, perhaps you’ll find that they’re still very much angelic.”

“Are you seriously telling me that with a straight face? I appreciate your suggestion Father, however, I highly doubt my opinion on them could change.”

“I am not telling you to change your thoughts about them overnight.” Standing up God stepped down and put a firm hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“I’m just reminding you that Pride is a sin.” God exited the throne room towards his personal chambers leaving a perplexed Michael standing in the throne room.

“I’m not prideful.” Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was wrong.

~3 Months Later~

“That is all for today. Does anyone else have anything that needs to be brought to attention before we leave?” I looked around the council table and took note of Azrael's continued absence. The angel of death was called for a quick meeting with God before the start of this meeting and had yet to return.

“Alright then. This meeting is adjourned. If anyone has anything they’d like to drop off, I’ll be working by the fountain." The council of 7 stood and started chatting amongst themselves as I packed up and left. A few weeks into leading the council, I found that much like the Devildom, I couldn’t find much peace anywhere indoors. As such, I turned to the gardens, in particular, the stone fountain. It reminded me of the one in my old village square back on earth and found a sense of peace here. I’m guessing the other angels got the hint of me needing some peace and quiet to complete my work as I’ve never been disturbed while I worked here. Anywhere else though, and it’s anyone’s game.

About halfway through my work, I decided it was a good time to take a break and get something to eat. Making my way to the makeshift kitchen area in the council building, I passed by Azrael and Michael conversing with each other. We exchanged some polite hello’s when something Azrael said caught my attention.

“I apologize for not making the meeting. There was an issue with a soul’s candle that was fluctuating that I had to deal with.”

“Fluctuating? I was under the impression that a soul’s candle can only slowly burn until the soul’s time runs out and the candle burns out or someone snuffs them out. How can a candle fluctuate?”

“It’s more like the candle was shifting, evolving. The flame itself is fine but the stick itself was changing. You see, the flame is just that, a flame that will never burn out until its designated time, or if as you put it, someone snuffs it out. It’s the stick that holds most of the magic. The type of wax used identifies the soul, its nature, and where it’s destined. Only angels of death, or reapers, can tamper with the stick and alter it, however, it seems this stick is changing itself without outside interference from myself or another reaper.”

“The stick is evolving on its own and this is a cause for concern because this type of thing shouldn’t be possible and has never happened before?”

“Essentially.”

“What did you do about it?”

“For now, nothing. We’ve tried manually altering it ourselves but it keeps rejecting the change. I have a junior reaper watching it now. He’ll update me if anything changes. That is all I can tell you for now.”

“That understandable, thank you for sharing anyway. Good luck with the candle.” At that, my stomach rumbled.

“Go enjoy your lunch” Azrael replied, walking away with Michael.

“Why did you tell them all of that?” Michael demanded of Azrael.

“They have a right to know. Besides nothing would be gained by hiding it from them. It’s best they are aware of the situation.”

“That’s not your call to make Az.” Michael responded angrily as he stopped. Azrael turned to face him, a calm mask slipped on.

“Yes, it is Michael. It’s my call as the leader of the reapers and the overseer of their candle. What isn’t right is how you keep insisting that they be left in the dark, blissfully ignorant. Despite what you may think, they are a bright soul and have brought much light with them, even to the brothers. I understand why you feel about them the way you do, but times have changed. They have changed, and so have the rest of us. Everyone but you. It’s time you change too before you do something you’ll regret.” With that, Azrael left, leaving Michael standing there thinking about what the reaper had said and thought back to what their Father had said 3 months ago. Threading his fingers in his hair, he made his way to his office, hoping to distract himself from these thoughts with some extra work.

~7 Years later~

“Y/N'' I woke up realizing that I fell asleep at my desk again. Looking up, I saw Uriel looking down at me. His hand on my right shoulder shaking me awake.

“Father would like to see you. Go get dressed please. I’ll be waiting outside.” Uriel left, closing the door behind him. I leaned back thinking about why God would want to see me, especially this early in the morning.

Not wanting to Uriel waiting for too long, I tidied up the papers at my desk, and sleepily made my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready. Once I finished, Uriel and I set out except this time, instead of heading to the palace, we headed for the gates.

When we arrived, I found that the rest of the council including Azreal and Simeon were already there and waiting for us. We landed and bowed our respects towards Father. Uriel joined the council in a semi-circle behind God.

“Y/N, as I’m sure you realized, the time has come for you to return to the Devildom. I offer you one last chance to stay here. You should know that once an angel falls, they’re not allowed back. Y/N, if you through with this, you will be cast out from the Celestial realm. Are you ready to make that sacrifice?” Looking to the council standing behind God. I recalled the past millennia I spent with them. While I tried to keep a professional relationship with them, they ended up growing on me and we became a little family of our own. I realized that I was going to end up missing them. None of that matters though, not anymore. I’m finally going home, to my real family. To the brothers. Ignoring God, I addressed the angels gathered behind him.

“Thank you, all of you. Despite our differences, you all still accepted me and let me into this little family of yours. I’ll be sure to remember all you’ve done for me and I hope we could meet again someday. Oh and Mike.” Michael looked at me, surprised that I singled him out. “You don’t belong down there. Don’t forget that.” I turned back to God giving him my answer.

“Yes, I am willing.” Giving me a nod of affirmation, God addressed me for the last time.

“Y/N, Virtue of Loyalty and former leader of the virtues.  I hereby strip you of your angelic status and cast you out into the Devildom for the sin of misplaced loyalty.” I faced the edge, ready to jump when I realized I had forgotten something. Turning around, I looked God straight in the eyes and threw the strongest right hook I had ever thrown in my life before jumping backwards, tucking in my wings and closing my eyes. A content sigh leaving my lips as I let the darkness engulf me whole.

I’m coming guys. Wait up for me

[danwhobrowses]

Castlevania Season 4 - My Thoughts

So we return, for the end Well, the 'end', there's possibility for expanded universe stories they say but for our current trio this is how we finish it

I've just binged it all so it's fresh in the mind, so I'm gonna look at the ups and downs of it all

You can also look at my review of season 3 if you'd like

Spoilers for Season 4, Watch it and get back here

So yeah, another great season, it had its downs but a lot of it had its ups too, which we will get to soon - but first let's get the negatives out of the way

What wasn't so good Nothing is perfect, and while a lot of these will be negatives they are mostly small negatives, stuff I felt could've been done a little bit better.

Saint Germain's heel turn could've been hidden So Saint Germain turning bad under the deception of death was a good way to establish conflict and pull back the rebus thing he mentioned in Season 3. But I kinda wish we didn't immediately know that he had broke bad, like we could've been super sly and coy about the fact that he's back and this time encountering Alucard only to be the orchestrator, like imagine the shock we could've had with learning what he was doing in the Castle then getting the flashback which drove him to it.

The rules of the ring change Last season Hector made the foolish decision of trusting Lenore, and while he got to bed a sexy vampire it had cost him all his freedom and the ring would prevent Hector acting against the coven of four sisters. But come this season it turns out that Hector was easily able to scheme against the sisters and invite the downfall of Camilla. Was a bit weird to establish that last season only to ignore it in the next.

The Patented Slow Start Castlevania has had a bit of a knack for starting slowly and Season 4 kinda did the same, things only really kicked off halfway through. Now of course we had to establish things; Trevor and Sypha being exhausted, the plans to resurrect Dracula, Alucard taking in the village and whatnot but we did linger on it a bit too much.

Striga's 'Day Armor' doesn't get enough time Striga took an ambush like a champ with a specialized armor that allowed her to fight in daylight. It was awesome and striking and looked absolutely badass...but that's the only time we saw it. It was just a shame really, granted it ended up that this was Striga's only time to fight, but we could've then used it for other characters, like the ambush dude who had his armor picked apart by the trio, or the Slavic vampire, just felt we could've done more with it.

CGI is sometimes a little shoddy The animation quality was mostly excellent, but that made it very glaring when some of the 3D rendering kinda hit an uncanny valley. I think the one that was most iffy was when Varney jumped into the mirror and then the mirror fragments just kinda wiped into the ground - even though Isaac's mirror tore a hole in the air - it was just a bit off-putting at times.

Couple of things left behind So when we ended it felt like we wrapped a lot of things up...except 2 things. One, where is Saint Germain's unnamed kickass lover? We caught her silhouette just walk away so we know she wasn't killed by Death, she's just 'out there' now. We also never got back to Targoviste, whose survivors must be wondering how to function since Sypha their only hope kinda disappeared on them, they'll also learn that their royals are dead, so it would've been nice to wrap that up.

Our heroes decide to use weapons sparingly In terms of arsenal we knew that our trio had a lot. The weird thing is that in some fights they just wouldn't use what would've been handy to them. There's of course Chekov's god dagger - which we didn't get too much explaining on - but Trevor would often just not use his Morningstar or Vampire Killer at times, even against two vampires, Sypha also seems to have forgotten how to use her wind magic or used her ice buzzsaw extremely sparingly and now Alucard can suddenly have bird wings...which could've been useful in prior fights.

We still lacked intelligent Night Creatures, and the badass vampires were underused So I still feel like it was very missed that the sentient night creatures of Season 1 didn't return still, especially since they were death's creatures. The one's dialogue with the priest is still among Castlevania's best and it's a shame we missed out on seeing more of it. In addition, the Ambusher's squad of vampires looked pretty cool, but like Dracula's council ended up just being swatted away after one fight, the same can be said with the Slavic vampire that was rolling with Varney. They didn't even get the pre-battle slaughter that Dracula's council did, Godbrand got more than these guys and that's a shame.

We don't get Bloody Tears or the Full Opening So the music was good, but we didn't get Bloody Tears again. For the final chapter of this saga it would've been better than using the opening song when the trio were together. Speaking of the opening song, we could've had the full length opening that we loved to see, small stuff but it would've elevated it.

Sypha is pregnant, because...because! So Sypha being pregnant is sweet, but it wasn't really needed aside from the throwaway 'trefor' joke which Alucard did better. Also that baby has gone through a lot, it's not like Sypha's been skipping in a meadow these past few weeks. Also they really gloss over how Trevor knows this and she doesn't

Some of this could've been done in a Season 5 This is more the fault of Netflix I'm guessing, since it does feel like after Season 3 we had much more to tell, but it did feel like some of the characters skipped a load of development. At the end of Season 3, Hector was beside himself in the fact that Lenore enslaved him, Isaac was still very bent on killing everything, Camilla is soaking in her genius and Alucard is more closed off than ever, but in Season 4 Hector is much more content and now has some legitimate connection to Lenore, Lenore is treated as sympathetic, Isaac is eating berries with a new outlook and Alucard decides to rescue a village because they asked, also he has a shield now. It does feel like half of what Season 4 had could've been in a Season 5, and then Season 4 could've built between having the growth be showed; Lenore feeling left out and confiding in Hector, Isaac deciding to bury the dead and rebuild the city, Trevor and Sypha having some friction in their relationship and Alucard not helping someone in need and then regretting it. As I said, this is probably not the show's fault, they were likely told that Season 4 would be it and they had to make do with it but in a vacuum it would've been nice to have had a little more build.

What was Awesome about it So I could easily just say 'the rest of it' but I guess I can afford to be a little more detailed.

Great Animation Aside from the CGI at times the animation was a top grade of excellence. I mean I watched the current My Hero Academia episode which really was pushing its budget and still I'm impressed by this animation, the artwork and settings were excellent too.

Downside: You're turning into Trevor, Upside: You get a strong warrior woman as a love interest While Alucard could've used some more time to go from emotionally scarred by 'the twins' to sympathizing with the town's plight, his character dynamic with Greta was great. Greta herself proved an excellent late addition being both a capable fighter, a strong independent leader and someone who was more than just an Alucard love interest. If you don't like strong women you're doing it wrong basically, and Alucard realising how he's turning into Trevor was some lightheartedness to Alucard combatting his loneliness and depression.

The Dialogue remains just as enthralling as the combat One of Castlevania's great strengths especially in seasons 1 and 3 were their use of gripping dialogue, the philosophical confrontations of different parties envelop the characters in greater depth thanks to the excellent script, primarily for Isaac and his chat with the bug man. The Slav Vampire also had a fantastic monologue.

Characters remain complex After four seasons it would've been easy to make some characters one dimensional, including the side villains, but Castlevania kept with the morally grey. The psycho noble clung hard to her delusions but her motives remained pure, as much as she was someone on the heroes' side she also infuriated Sypha, Saint Germain was driven to evil out of desperation but he still believably made amends in the very very end, Striga, Lenore and Morana were all on the side of the villains but had doubt about the scope of Camilla's ambition and made them consider their very nature. Simply put, it bodes well when characters have struggles that affect their motivation.

Layered Scheming 'Bring Back Dracula' was a simple premise, but the show did really well in connecting the channels between 3 plot areas, Trevor and Sypha learned of the plot by continually walking into scholar vampires attempt it, in Season 3 it was via a Night Creature in Isaac's name to start it all too, this connects to the Hector & Isaac story through Varney who schemes with the former to enact the plan, but this also connects to Alucard's story thanks to Saint Germain also plotting too. It was a clever way to entwine all three separate stories which would eventually bring things together.

Action still kicks a lot of ass Castlevania has good action? In other news water makes things wet. But still we got some great brutal action we've come familiar with in Castlevania. It could've been easy to go overboard like other shows had, which'd zone in on one thing like gore or nudity but Castlevania remained consistent in their action, looking for new lengths of creativity that never pushed its bounds. Of course building up to the final battle where we took it up a notch for the crescendo. Also I continue to call her Sypha 'Fatality' Belnades because god she kicks ass.

Isaac and Hector grow up It could've been easy and satisfying for Isaac to just roll up to Styria, take his revenge on Hector and leave, acting in both anger and mercy. But instead the characters grew beyond it, Isaac finally decides to heed what the shopkeeper and ship captain were saying rather than the crazy witch, Hector accepts his fate but works to try and make amends his own way. When the two finally cross again we see that both have accepted their humanity and instead of working for someone else they look to seek their own happiness, they forgive humanity in a way and it saves themselves. Their understanding to 'let Dracula rest' also grants them payoff from being Dracula's loyal commanders.

Camilla goes out swinging Where was this Camilla hiding huh? Brutal, Lightning powers and a crimson sword, I mean the wardrobe seems to be a bit less than last season and not battle-suited but dammit did Camilla grip you in her scenes. Her desperation and madness in taking over the world set her up to her downfall where she was betrayed and overwhelmed by Isaac's forces, but rather than let him have the satisfaction she kills herself. It could've easily fell flat because Camilla had just been sitting around like a vampire Cersei Lannister last season and end up proving her frustrations right by having a man take her life but instead she took control of her life and went out strong.

The bittersweet ending of Lenore At the end of season 3 the scheming Lenore claimed herself 'the diplomat', but having been shelved and fonder of Hector than usual it opened the door to explore her own grasp of control. The theme of enduring being prominent in this season for all the arcs we had. We learned the tragedy of Lenore's situation though, as a child of war diplomacy was her escape, she isn't comfortable with peace or total control, she can only live for conflict. While she does like Hector, she ends up valuing her own freedom in the end; and though we could've given more time to earn that sympathy we still accept it as she decides against a quiet life of surveillance freedom with Hector - ironically as Hector has lived under Camilla's captivity - and instead chose death. It was a much more poetic death than gruesome as well, after mulling how she mourned her sister because she understood the nature of greed she elected to make a choice rather than live without making any, looking at the sun for once and getting one last banter with Hector before immediately fading to dust. In a show that almost prides itself on hypergore and graphic deaths, this one was perhaps the most tranquil deaths of the show.

Striga and Morana overcome the greed Which leads to the final two of the four sisters. Camilla consumed herself with greed and died fighting for it, Lenore had no greed but also had no freedom so chose to die in order to be free, but lovers Striga and Morana were not in Styria for Isaac's attack, they were on the outskirts fighting and seeing the struggle firsthand. Their conflict over how they agreed and disagreed on certain aspects of the fight was intriguing, with the intermission of Striga on a tear in her swanky armour to tilt the tone to Striga's side of the argument. A Soldier and a Politician, both agreed though that Camilla's ambitions only worked on paper, so when confronted with their castle overrun and their sister dead it became a matter of duty or survival. Instead of dying in a good fight, Striga looked past her desire of battle and agreed to follow Morana in living, and Morana gave up any political power she could have under an empire to be a mercenary. They didn't overreach, and it spares them their lives in a surprising conclusion where the 'bad guys' still kinda get to live happily ever after.

The ReHumanization of Alucard Alucard has always been a fan favourite, but in the world of Castlevania he still acts as an outcast. While helping the village and getting close to Greta helps bring out some positive emotions in him, it's his dedication to saving the people that gives the show some of its lightest moments, especially when he toys with the kids. In a way it's what he wanted from the twins, but they had lived to not trust and wanted to kill rather than survive, and he grew a community out of it. Allowing the town to settle is the ultimate payoff for Alucard too, because it fulfills his mother's dream, now there are people who know the knowledge that his father did.

Bringing the old band together We all knew that Trevor and Sypha were gonna reunite with Alucard sometime near the end, I mean it's a shame they ditched a city that cannot organize themselves but they were kinda needed in the castle. What's best is that the moment came in it was like they never left, perfectly in sync and bantering off each other, when they fought the top level vampires it was their teamwork and synergy which made them overcome - which is great battle narrative too because alone they were getting beaten. It's just the stuff you love to see.

Trevor is tougher than Death The final battle being Trevor vs Death was a proper Attack on Titan-esque boss fight, just peeling away at the enemy and trying not to get hit. As well as a feast for the eyes it proved to be an entertaining climax - in spite of the limited info we got on the magic 3-piece dagger - and in a way it paid off Trevor's character journey. When we first met him he was an outcasted drunk that wanted nothing to do with the world let alone his family, but now he's here fighting death to save innocent people, his half-vampire buddy and his pregnant speaker magician girlfriend, being willing to give his own life for something bigger than himself, and succeeding...thanks to Saint Germain who owed him a favour and one very clever unsung hero of a horse. To tell you the truth when I saw the trailer I was expecting Sypha to have died and Trevor to be pulling her out of hell by fighting death, but this still worked really well and was perhaps a bit more logical to the canon they set.

Death is temporary, Dracula is forever With all the attempts to revive Dracula one had to work eventually. But back at Season 3 I'm sure we all thought about what would Dracula's reaction be anyway. I mean, yeah he's dead but his wife is there, you really wanna be the guy who ripped him from his wife a second time? It worked though because the people loyal to Dracula never truly understood his grief, they only wanted to further their own agendas through him. So when Dracula does come back in the final scenes with his wife, we see that Vlad Tepes is no longer the vicious killer he once was, not for now anyway. Reviving Dracula may make people think that Trevor and Sypha's actions in Season 3 and 4 were worthless because he still revives but you do have to remember that they do still save a few lives and make a few less night creatures. In addition if they want to expand the universe long into the future they can bring Dracula back in older and disillusioned again if they see fit.

He has many faces, but you still know him At about episode 8 I was really ramping up to tear into the Alchemist and Varney for being practically useless characters, but then the show went and hit me with a great twist by having both characters being guises of Death itself, the proper big bad of the season. It was a fantastic twist which validates the characters, because it was super suspect that the alchemist know where the girl was and said you can't look at her rebus, and that Varney felt like a beta Godbrand but still managed to slither away from the fights. His design was excellent too, the crown was really menacing.

A Surprise Happy Ending! Like, could any of us imagined that? The fight ends, Trevor and Sypha live happily to make a family, Alucard has his friends, a girlfriend and a community that appreciates him, Isaac has his own kingdom, Hector doesn't get the girl or a finger but he still has his freedom, Striga and Morana have each other, it mostly wrapped up very neatly and was earned, a satisfying end which closes the chapter on our trio.

Conclusion

It is sad to see great shows end, Castlevania's use of anime-style animation with gore and a strong voice cast has done extremely well, especially for a show who only got 4 episodes for a first season. It did feel like Netflix didn't give it a chance, but it pulled it off big time and escaped Netflix's cancel hammer long enough to bring a satisfying story, and one can hope we see more of this style and universe either in more Castlevania stories or even the rumored Devil May Cry adaptation.

[straycat-writes]

to ever let you go (nakahara chuuya)

summary: two years is a long time, enough for a person to go through hell and back. chuuya learns that the hard way.

notes: there’s mild swearing and non-graphic mentions of injury. before you ask, yes, there is (eventually) going to be a part two.

Chuuya has never liked taking the elevator. Most of the time, it’s too cramped, and too shaky, and too bright and – too this or too that, he tells himself. In truth, he just doesn’t like closed spaces.

Unfortunately for him, Mori’s office is on the very top floor of the building that houses the Port Mafia headquarters. Fitting for the boss of the Port Mafia, but a pain in the ass for Chuuya. Nevertheless, when Mori calls, he goes. It’s not like he has a choice.

“Chuuya-kun, I would like you to come see me at your earliest convenience. Something rather…important has turned up.”

Chuuya had been with the mafia long enough to know that ‘at your earliest convenience’ meant drop everything and come right now’. He stepped out of the elevator, hands jammed into his pockets, and sighed. Something rather important, huh?

The armed guards stationed outside the door took one look at him and left way immediately, and a self-satisfied smile almost made its way onto Chuuya’s face. It made his day when people cower before him when he hasn’t even done anything yet.

“Good evening, boss. How may – “

The rest of the words died in his throat.

The blinds on the floor-to-ceiling windows were drawn, like always, obscuring the sky and leaving the space to be illuminated only by the soft interior lights. Mori was sitting behind his desk, elbows resting on it and fingers steepled below his chin. And in front of the desk…there was her.

“Ah, Chuuya-kun, how considerate of you to join us.” Mori said with calm, calculated smile, “Would you perhaps like to sit down for a while?”

Chuuya didn’t answer. He couldn’t have had, even if he wanted to, his throat had suddenly gone too dry. There she was. Standing there with her hands clasped behind her back, alive and well.

On second thought, the ‘well’ part was debatable. She looked pale and haggard, with scars littering almost every inch of exposed skin. Her stance was slightly slouched too, as if she was unconsciously trying to disappear into herself. When she turned to look at him, however, his heart almost stops. Why did her eyes look like that?

“(Y-y/n)?” his voice came out scratchy, almost cracking, and he couldn’t stop staring at her with eyes wide enough to almost pop out of their sockets.

She didn’t reply, instead quietly turning away and looking straight ahead. A million thoughts and assumptions swarmed Chuuya’s head at once, almost overwhelming him. He couldn’t think straight. So, naturally, he thought he’d do what he did best. Yell.

“It’s been two fucking years, where the hell were you all this time!?”

When she had first disappeared two years ago, shortly after being deployed for a mission, Chuuya had dedicated everything he had to looking for her. He searched high and low and despite pressure from the higher ups, he didn’t stop until he had turned most of the country inside out. But after almost a year of trying and trying and still coming up empty, he had grown weary.

On particularly bad nights, he had even wondered if she too had pulled a Dazai and got the fuck out of there, leaving him behind. If she too had abandoned him and betrayed him like his partner once had. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth but he thought he’d prefer that to the alternative. That she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

Chuuya had never even considered there could be a third option.

When she didn’t react, Chuuya got more anxious, and despite trying his best not to, took two successive steps towards her, “Answer me!”

It was only when she flinched back that he stopped, mid-stride. And for the first time since entering the room, he took a long, proper look at her. The shadows underneath her eyes were deeper than he had expected them to be, and she seemed to be curling in on herself where she stood, as if trying to take as little space as possible.

Chuuya took a step back. “What… what happened to you?”

With lacklustre eyes, she looked at him, face completely devoid of any expression. Then she spoke to him for the first time in two years.

“What do you think?”

Chuuya faltered, not knowing what to say or do. Even her voice sounded scratchy, deeper somehow and yet with a paper-thin quality to it. Nothing like the syrupy sweet velvet he remembered it to be. A million possible scenarios and explanations ran through his head before being consecutively discarded.

Perhaps taking pity on his dilemma, Mori, who had been sitting behind his desk all this time, observing the two of them with a calm, calculating gaze and an amused smile, finally decided that it was time to intervene.

“Chuuya-kun, do you remember the operation (y/n) was handling two years ago just before she, er, disappeared?”

Chuuya frowned. “I do. She was supposed to be gathering intel on this enemy organization that was interfering with our overseas businesses.”

“Yes, well… Turns out they were just as desperate for intel on us.”

“Don’t tell me… “ Chuuya’s eyes widened as he tore his gaze away from Mori to look back at her. “You were being held as a prisoner? For two fucking years?”

“Now, now,” Mori tried to placate him. “No need to raise your voice. As you can see, (y/n) is still… recuperating.”

Out of the corer of his eye, Chuuya could see a steely, bemused smile on Mori’s face, one that did not sit well with him at all. But this wasn’t the time to focus on that. He looked back at you.

“I’m… (y/n), I don’t know what to say, I looked for you everywhere.” He said. “I looked for you for months… “ There was silence for a few short seconds, before she spoke.

“Well, clearly you didn’t look hard enough.”

The words weren’t loud or even containing any particular malice, but the moment they left her lips, Chuuya felt like he couldn’t breathe. Because she sounded disappointed. Resigned and hollow. Most of all, she just sounded sad.

Mori’s voice cut through his thoughts once more like a hot wire. “That’s enough chit-chat for now, I think.” He looked at both of them in turn. “Why don’t you take her to stay with you for a while, Chuuya-kun? You two did use to be rather close. Besides, I really don’t think (y/n) should be left alone in such a state.”

For some reason, Chuuya’s blood boiled in his veins. He wasn’t stupid. There was absolutely no way Mori didn’t know where she had been all this time. But if so, why didn’t he say anything? Did it benefit him somehow? Did he plan it all out? He wouldn’t put it past the crafty bastard. But for now…

“Yes, boss, I think that would be the wisest course of action.”

When he turned to her and held out his hand, she just looked at for a long time, scrutinizing it as if wondering what trick he might pull. But instead of insisting or saying anything, Chuuya just waited patiently for her to come around. He could still see that smile fixed on Mori’s face as he watched the events unfold in front of him, and oh, what Chuuya wouldn’t have given in that moment to be able to wipe that smug grin off his face.

Eventually, she took one last look at him once more before finally accepting his hand. Chuuya didn’t dare pull her closer or even hold her hand tighter for the fear of breaking it. At this point, he couldn’t be sure how fragile she was or wasn’t.

On light steps, they left the dark office together. The girl currently holding onto his hand wasn’t (y/n). Or at least, she wasn’t the same (y/n) he had lost two years ago. He had failed that girl when he had been unable to bring her back safe.

But Chuuya swore he would correct every mistake he had ever made. He would get her back.

[technobladetimestamps]

Dec 18 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “assembling an army [Dream SMP]”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

01:07  bone blocks are ugly / messing up sentences 02:41  “Worst case scenario he’s building an ugly tower outside of my base. Best case scenario he died!” / vc with Tommy 04:09  gapple theft / “That’s just not what that word means” / lazy / “objectively true” / “racoon” 07:48  “What are you deepest emotions” “Revenge” / “All I know is anarchy, violence, and get subscriber” 09:10  edited list / Eret / Tommy can’t sprint / “I know another word for dog” 10:53  viewers can’t smell you / destroy a government for christmas / swear in january 13:46  comfort / “You’re trying to think of one redeeming quality and stuttering” 18:56  reddit / “The gene pool will be in shambles” / “Laws aren’t real” / “very large dog” 21:48  Tommy has conflicted feeling about Dream 28:00  Dream spotted / “Describe your surroundings” / pagoda 30:53  stream sniping / “YOU” (high angry voice” / Dream message 33:37  Dream coming / Tommy being bad at hiding / Tommy made Techno invisible 37:51  vc with Dream / “visible enderman” / “Tommy left” “Who?” / channel member bell 40:57  “I am a person who believes in absolute reciprocity” / yelling at Tommy / “DREAM COME BACK” 45:57  tommy asks Techno to stay and then runs away 48:02  “WHAT” / Llama 51:45  “This is where I died” “Which time” / insulting chat / tommy thinks Dream and Clarencio like him 53:30  “stealth breed” / “talking llama” / killing Conner 55:24  attacking Ranboo as Clarencio / invis dogs / killing Ranboo / Clarencio dies to the dog 1:00:38  “Executed is a step up from being exiled” / “Handled with charm” / good eyesight 1:03:42  making Ranboo’s death canon / if it gets on yt it’s canon 1:05:56  “Why are there pants” / “I truly am uninterested” / braces trending on twitter 1:07:19  “I wish I had a gun right now” / definitely didn’t leave tommy 1:09:02  asks dumb questions and gets and when people answer 1:10:12  Schlatt joins vc / not too scripted for schlatt / yearly reddit post / at the base of the tower 1:12:57  dead person name / GLATT / Techno is subscribed to both of them / “He died as he lived an absolute moron” 1:15:56  Mexican Dream / “Are you mad I didn’t know you updated 2 hours ago” 1:18:50  Tommy keeps dying / pedantic / “Imagine using valid arguments” / “Go write a book” “Being a youtuber pays way more” 1:22:13  doesn’t need a ghost name / “Self referential memes” / “You’re saying your own name like a pokemon” / random chance

[taiblogcomics]

All Out of Outlaws

Hey there, that live service you paid for but only used once. I hope you liked last week's anniversary review as much as I liked writing it. Now we're back to the usual stack. We're on a streak with Red Hood junk, so let's get back into it~

Here's the cover:

Since it's an anniversary issue of its own, the cover is way glossier and higher quality than usual. I don't object to homaging most of Jason's old teammates in the sky, but why the fuck is Crux there? Like, why would you remind us of Crux? Nobody liked Crux, nobody even remembers Crux. At least he's partially covered by the logo, but not nearly enough. Like, Isabel's worth way more of a cover appearance than Crux. Anyway, other than Crux, this cover's pretty good. Very movie poster-esque.

So this book takes place "one month ago". That somehow means it takes place after issue 48, AKA the unnecessary tie-in issue, and that other story arc that ended last issue. You got that? One month ago is after the tie-in story, but before the story that just ended. You can tell all this because Bizarro is still here instead of trapped in hell, and Jason Todd's narrating to himself about how Punchline tricked him regarding Duela Dent. Yeah, there's no moment showing how he realised this, even though that'd make good story in itself. No, he's just here because he's already pissed at the Duela deception.

After the flashback, we return to the present. This is after issue 49, just so you know where we stand. It's pretty clear Artemis and Jason have just slept together. That... seems odd to me. It's odd to them as well, so that's forgivable. Jason acknowledges that really he just needed some human contact. Because, like, Roy is dead, Bizarro is in hell, and Starfire is in space. Thankfully, he mentions Crux not at all. Jason thinking Crux is a friend worth missing would be more disbelief than I can willingly suspend. Anyways, they're interrupted by a welcome sight.

The loud yelling returns us to seeing Monsieur Mallah yell like a drill sergeant at the Outlaws of Tomorrow, or whatever those kids were called. You remember them: Devour, Doomed, Cloud 9, DNA, Babe in Arms and Mombie (which I swear I came up with before it was ever written in an issue), and Vessel. Anyways, they were my favourite part of the last dozen issues or whenever they first appeared. Jason points a gun at Mallah to try and get him to stop yelling at the kids, and Ma Gunn calls him out on it. Basically, she's hired Mallah and the Brain to train these kids, since Jason keeps skipping out on it. If he disapproves of her methods, then he should train them himself. He concedes the point, and opts to leave the kids in her care.

Jason leaves, heading up to Dr. Veritas' lab. This is where Duela's ended up after they rescued her from the flashback. She's alive, but part of her recovery has been reconstructive surgery. Her repaired face has basically left her non-verbal and mostly unresponsive. Jason has a plan, though. It's probably supposed to be his pocket, but I swear it looks like he's taking this out of the fly of his jeans. That's extremely worrying, almost as worrying as what actually happens: Jason hands her a rubber Joker mask, and she puts it on. With her "face" restored, she starts laughing--and doesn't stop. Jason wonders if this was a good idea after all. I'm gonna go ahead and venture "no"~

Following that, we advance three weeks, where Duela has been doing physical therapy in Suzie Su's private gym. She's been struggling, and is still mostly non-verbal, but at least communicates in laughs and animal noises. Jason decides the best way to get her to improve is to taunt her. Surprisingly, it works: when he dumps enough insults, she's able to stagger to her feet well enough to attack him. He says he knew she could do it with the right motivation, and she's pleased with herself. Pleased enough that when the time skips ahead again, she's perfectly verbal once more.

This scene takes place in a graveyard. Not just any, but the very grave that Jason once upon a time clawed his way out of. Naturally, she thinks that's cool. This is Jason's "don't make the same mistakes I did" lecture, but Duela doesn't want to hear it. She's too mad at Punchline and Joker for treating her like shit. Jason understands, but he says he'll be there for her when she decides to change her mind about being a crazy psychopath. They both return home to Ma Gunn's, but while Jason laments some thoughts to Artemis, Duela decides to escape. Just like the teen she is.

Partway off the grounds, she actually encounters Pup-Pup. Yeah, the talking Superman plush doll is still somehow hanging around. I might pick on this series a bit, and rightly so sometimes, but how many other comics do you know where a sapient talking plush toy of one of the world's greatest heroes is a recurring character? That's fantastic. That's exactly why I read comic books. Anyway, she stops to chat with Pup-Pup, because when life throws that much weirdness at you, you stop and interact. She relays an exaggerated version of her backstory to him, talking about how her father beat her while her mother laughed, and she killed them both in the end. Pup-Pup sees right through it, and the pair of them end up hanging out all night until Jason finds them both asleep in the yard the next morning.

So it's a bit later, and they're in New York. A bank's been broken into by... Agent Smith from The Matrix?? It's a group of guys in shades and suits who are all identical and refer to themselves as sharing a single collective mind. I don't care that they call themselves "The Chairmen", that sounds like Agent Smith to me. Fortunately, the Outlaws are here to beat them up. Joker's Daughter and her pal Pup-Pup have joined as the pre-requisite third member(s), but partway through the fight, the strain of the fight causes Duela to have some sort of mental break.

Very suddenly, it's no longer funny for Duela. She's not into the violence or death. She is just a teen, after all, and I guess it built up over time. The rest of the Agent Smiths are dealt with while Jason comforts Duela and removes the Joker mask from her. No doubt he's going to store it back in his trousers. And so, after the fight, Duela gets cleaned up, dresses like a normal person, and returns home to her parents. Artemis imparts the wisdom that it doesn't matter how you live, as long as you're living the way you want, it's the greatest act of defiance there is. Jason also allows Pup-Pup to stow away in her backpack, just to keep an eye on her.

After returning Duela to her home, Jason and Artemis ride on for a while. Then, abruptly, Artemis pulls over. It's as far as she's going, at least with Jason. But they both agree: he doesn't need her around anymore. He's a capable guy who can stand on his own two feet. And so Artemis also departs, she taking one road, and Jason driving down the other. And that road Jason's on? Why, it's the road home. The road back to Gotham. Jason muses that he was an okay sidekick, a crap supervillain, and a great outlaw. But what he was most of all... was a good friend.

I’m gonna say to start out with that I think this is a good issue. Heck, I think this is a great issue. It’s very character-driven, which is kind of what I always want in these things. Would much rather read something that develops the characters than just another fight scene.

I guess the issue, then, is A) does the character development make sense, and 2) do we care? And honestly... I don’t really care that Joker’s Daughter got a happy ending. Nor do I really feel it was earned. We’ve followed the character’s entire history on this blog, after all. Honestly, it probably would have made a lot more sense if she’d stayed on as part of Generation Outlaw. I just don’t think there was any build-up to her sudden realisation that “oh crap, everything I do sucks”, and thus her sudden retirement/redemption doesn’t feel earned.

But hey, at least Crux wasn’t in it~

Next issue, Jason finally goes solo!

[belit0]

Omega Izuna Part 2

Chapter 9 of Husbands, and my messy writing

Rated: M

Tw: Underage trafficking / brothel / induced heat.

Summary: Izuna meets Tajima's plans.

[I should note that Izuna is 9 years old and Madara is 16. The age of the remaining siblings is irrelevant. Don't worry, there is no underage, although things are getting a lot darker for Izu. Be careful while reading this chapter, I guess]

Little Omega walks through the streets of the Uchiha compound while securing his eyes on the ground. At the front line, his two Alphas brothers have some distance, struggling not to be identified in the clan’s company’s humiliation. Both teenagers have been chatting with shouts and amusement since they left home in the dawn, on a mission to transport Izuna.

The inexperienced child could not pick up the destination for his older relatives were to take him to, direct orders from Tajima given in the commander’s confinement’s room, that place at home where Izuna’s little ears reached no sound. He was not suicidal enough to sneak away and listen in secret, but the reference of his name had made its way to him when the two Alphas finished conversing with their father and left that room.

Whenever Madara was absent, whatever the reason, distant unpleasant situations for the youngest brother of the five would turn out. Tajima waited for the chance when his firstborn was not around to protect him, continually planning various forms to get rid of Izuna at the slimmest opportunity.

And now, while the Alpha heir was away under false pretexts, Izuna is quickly shoved from his spot on the floor and pulled through the exit to the streets.

Only times when the Omega was lucky enough to doze in an actual bed, those nights when Madara was at home and nestled him tight every night.

Walking reluctantly, he doesn’t know what to predict. His eyes refuse to face up, for he knows people must point fingers at him and say things similar to what his father mutters every day. On his back, where the symbol of the Uchiha clan should shine proudly like everyone else’s around, only sits a clumsily traced drawing.

Tajima tore all the embroidered emblems from his robes upon understanding his fifth child was an Omega, sentencing him to survival in ridicule and public degradation. It was Madara, who with charcoal and any element capable of leaving some kind of trace on the dull blue cloth symbolic of the Uchihas, promoted him to make his own pattern, making Izuna feel part of those who repudiated his presence so much.

At nine years old, he simply knows one individual who cares for his life. His older brother.

“Go faster, you little piece of shit!”

“Yeah... enough with Father making us deal with your existence, and now you choose to take your time!”

At the shouts of his older relatives, Izuna’s exposed feet hurry, deciding to catch up with them. Tajima forbade him to wear sandals like the rest of the clan, highlighting his inferiority.

After a long-distance, both Alphas guide the little Omega to an area of the Uchiha compound little known, or rather, little recognized. The zone where no one with economic assets wants to set foot, where Uchihas condemned by the war or the wives of deceased soldiers would poverty, forced to seek refuge far from the clan’s judgmental people.

“The dead zone” is what Madara used to call it whenever he complained about the leader’s heartlessness. Omegas who had lost their Alphas because of the clan’s constant clashes mostly populated it, leaving them adrift and without their life mates.

The problem was the Uchiha had no regard for that rank, labeling them as baby incubators, seed vessels, and consolation holes.

The pair of eldest brothers walk with impunity, as desperate, in heat Omegas throw themselves upon them, begging to be taken. They both laugh disdainfully, slapping and throwing the women to the ground as if they were rag dolls.

Izuna covers his eyes with both hands, looking solely at the ground to know when to lift his barefoot and step over someone’s body. It is a dark scene that marks the boy’s mind with fire, but nothing compared to what his father has prepared.

The Alphas take him to a crumbling building, where they knock on a red door with a special code. A large, tall, female opens it, staring with a bitter hate-filled expression. Both grab the boy by the collar of his robe and throw him into the woman’s arms while smirking.

“Get him ready. Father said we could keep it as a toy if it turned out to be worthy.”

The woman doesn’t answer, simply closes the door noisily, and leaves Izuna’s older brothers on the other side. She takes him by the wrist and leads the way roughly down a dark corridor until she reaches a room.

Silent tears fall from his eyes, while he only thinks of Madara’s arms around him, soothing. All is fine because Aniki is here. Harsh, rough hands raspy from combat, delicate just for him.

But there is no Aniki here, no tenderness, just a woman preparing some weird tea, smelling too strange and tasting too bad to be normal. She forces the boy to swallow it in a single sip, pushing the glass over his lips and coercing him to gulp while squeezing his nose shut so he can’t breathe or avoid the liquid.

No matter how hard Izuna kicks and whines, she’s too big for him to escape. He never set foot on the battlefield, Tajima always forbade it, he could not allow the reason for his deepest dishonor to show face in front of his enemies.

The Omega grew weak and unskilled in defense, making him admire even more his precious Aniki. The one who, like the entire Uchiha clan, could turn into a fearsome and gigantic red-eyed black wolf. Alphas’ qualities were extraordinary, and Izuna admits feeling envious of it.

If he could become a terrifying wolf, he would rip that woman’s head off and get out of there, escape, maybe even kill Tajima. But no, all he can do is wag his thin feline tail angrily and hide his ears in disgust, hoping for some mercy.

“This will take a few minutes, maybe 10 or more, when you feel the effects scream for help.”

“He-e…”

“Foolish boy, once your heat starts, I’ll bring over your initial client.”

That couldn’t be right. No Omega has their first heat until the age of 15, and Izuna is simply nine. How is that possible? The feeling of panic spreads through his stomach as his fists clench tightly in his palms, his long fingernails digging into his skin.

The drink, the tea.

She had forcibly induced his first heat at a totally inappropriate age.

[undertaker1827]

Hey I wanted to make a request and sorry if this sounds awkward. But could I request a Undertaker imagine where the reader is Korean and by accident travels back in time and meets Undertaker, she doesn't found a way back and is forced to stay in that time and she meets Undertaker who falls for her bc she has different features from others and is special just overall fluffy. I hope this isn't awkward or something but I just thought it was a cute idea. Have a great day! 💜

Aw man I’ve been looking forward to writing this one for such a long time!! It’s not awkward at all and I’m sorry it took me so long to write this (I write requests in the order I get sent them so sometimes it takes a while, I apologise) but this has been in the back of my mind since you sent it, so I might have gone a bit overboard hope I did it justice!! I’ll link part two once it’s up. Enjoy!

Masterlist

-

Squinting heavily and blinking rapidly, you tried to orientate yourself. Not really able to see, you extended your hands and felt along the ground you had collapsed on, hoping it was your normal carpet. Instead of plush warmth, you were met with wet, cold stone, which felt particularly gritty to you. The room you had been standing in just a moment ago had suddenly filled with bright white light, but even with the light gone, the glare it left behind was stuck in your vision. You were relieved to find it was finally starting to clear, though from the dull ache pulsing behind your eyes, it would leave behind a massive headache in it place.

When you felt able to, you glanced around you to try and work out what on Earth had happened and where you were now. No small amount of panic lodged itself in your chest when you found yourself sitting in an alleyway just off a cobblestone street, back against the wall of one of the buildings lining it and covered in the mud spraying off the wheels of passing … carriages? You leaned forward to look for people, seeing several who were running for cover from the heavy rain but frowning when you saw how strangely they were dressed. You thought back to some stereotypical English period dramas you had watched a long time ago and decided the scene before you could well have been the set from one of them. You took a short sharp breath when it occurred to you that you hadn’t fallen into one of the scenes so much as into the time period itself. The rain was real rain, as was the mud matting your hair and the smell was far too awful to have been concocted for filming purposes. Perhaps your only saving grace was there were no strangers lurking in the alleyway, though conversely, that also meant you had no one to talk to who might know what happened.

Unsteadily, you climbed to your feet, thinking the worst possible thing you could do was just stay put looking the way you did. You pressed a hand to the wall to steady your balance then allowed your gaze to pan the small area in front of you, working out what you should do next. You had just concluded that you would search for a police officer or something similar when a small and considerably battered looking cart stopped right in front of you, blocking your only exit. You looked to the driver, who leapt down from his seat in surprise then tipped his hat forward. When he straightened again, you found his eyes were entirely concealed by heavy grey bangs, a positive mane of hair falling down his back and almost reaching his hips.

“Well, dear me,” the man started, voice possessing a lilting, slightly raspy quality that immediately drew your attention, “and I thought for sure you’d be one of my next customers after I drove past you this morning.” Your eyebrows drew together of their won accord. Drove past you this morning? Just how long had you been laying there?

“Customers?” You asked uncertainly, inching a little closer to him. You felt his gaze scan your appearance, even if you couldn’t see it, then he tilted his head forward slightly.

“You’re not from ‘round here, are you?” He asked conspiratorially, “Not at all.” Your heart leapt at what he appeared to be implying and this time you took a full two steps in his direction.

“Do you know how I got here, then?” You whispered, eyes lighting up at the prospect of getting some answers.

“Not here,” he said by way of reply. “Join me?” He climbed back up to the driver’s seat then leaned down and stretched out a hand to you. You took it, out of politeness rather than necessity, thanking him and asking for his name. “Take the name of me profession, love.” At your blank expression, he elaborated. “Undertaker.” You smiled warm and gave him your name in return. You practically saw him perk up. “You’re Korean?” He asked, voice full of interest. Your smile widened, both surprised and glad to not be mistaken for Chinese or Japanese.

You had chatted about your culture for a while, Undertaker full of questions about something so entirely unfamiliar to him before he explained that he was heading back to his parlour and asked if you planned on joining him. Not, as he so helpfully reminded you, that you really had anywhere to go. You wouldn’t have disagreed anyway, but this really just confirmed your decision.

When you arrived, he walked inside with you and told you to wait in f=the front room while he tended to the horse and the cart. You did so gladly, but after a few minutes found your curiosity got the better of you. You couldn’t help but examine the multitude of jars lining the walls, filled with various preserved body parts, human and animal from what you could tell. You were moments away from picking one up to examine it more closely when the door flew open and Undertaker announced his presence, a massive grin taking over his features as he seemed to know immediately hat you were doing.

“Most courtesy of autopsies and the occasional family of one of me customers.” You had already worked out that his ‘customers’ were actually the bodies of the dead that he worked on, so you nodded in understanding and commented on how interesting you found the apparent hobby. It was only a short time later when you were sat on one of the coffins in the front room, him leaning against the front edge of his large desk and both of you holding conical flasks of tea, a detail you couldn’t help but find endearing. He told you that he knew you were from a different time period entirely - this one turned out to be Victorian London - though he fell to mention why. It also appeared that he had no idea how you got here, or how to get you back, leading you to the inevitable question of what should I do now?

“Your time period and the nature of people from your time is going to be entirely different than mine, which means I couldn’t, in all good conscience, throw you out on the street and leave you to fend for yourself. There’s a small pub near here with upstairs accommodation should you fancy giving yourself even more of a culture shock than you’ve already received, but you’re more than welcome to stay here with me.” It was all you could do to prevent your jaw from quite literally dropping open. His kindness was unbelievable and you accepted the offer gladly. From then on and until late into the night, you discussed the social norms of this era and the mortician fished out some more acceptable clothing for you which he though should fit - just a few of many items he owned for the sake of preparing the dead.

It was only when your eyes became bleary that you realised just how late it was, in time for Undertaker to inform you that due to the size of his home, he was only possessed of the one bed. He was at great pains to assure you that you could take the bed and he would sleep on the couch. You had seen this couch and you were certain even you would have difficulty getting a decent night’s rest on it, so you couldn’t imagine how Undertaker would manage with his height. You suspected his feet would end up hanging over one arm with his head on the other and you couldn’t possibly do that to someone who was allowing you to stay in his home. This led to a long debate over sleeping arrangements until in the end, hoping to settle the matter, Undertaker provided you with an ultimatum.

“Alright, look. Either I take the sofa or we both share the bed.”

“The latter, you replied, without hesitation. You refused point blank to deprive this man of a fitful sleep. You felt him raise a surprised eyebrow, even if it was covered by his hair, as he had been certain you would pick the first option. He then shrugged nonchalantly with an amused “If you say so,”, proceeding to lend you one of his nightshirts. You went to bed not a few minutes later, you shifting to lay on your side to look at him. You thought you caught the merest glimpse of one of his eyes, which almost looked like it was glowing, even if it was too dark to make out the colour.

“Thank you,” you murmured, offering the mortician a small, tired smile.

“You’re alright,” he replied softly, his own smile the last thing you saw before you drifted off to sleep.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: Last part! I hope you guys enjoyed this and that it’s all you hoped for. I think Riverdale ruined the musical for a lot of people. I mean, I didn’t even know about Heathers until the episode of Riverdale and back then I was like ‘WTF is this???’ but then I started watching Carrie Hope Fletcher’s vlogs about her being Veronica in Heathers and I decided to give the album a listen and it’s SO GOOD? Like I’m offically obsessed with it. I’m just sad you can’t watch a good quality video of either the off-Broadway version or the West End version. Not gonna lie, I did watch part of the shitty quality bootleg on YouTube, but it’s just not quite the same is it?  Anyway, hope you enjoy this last part!  Also, GIF has nothing to do with this part, I just love Christian Slater as JD and this is one of my fav quotes for some reason, along with “Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling”. 

Act one - Act two - Act three - Act four - Act five - Act six

Words: 4002

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Warnings: panic attack, cursing, sexually tinted scenes 

Act six: Seventeen 

I was right not entirely trusting ‘Stoner chick’ and ‘Preppy kid’. The next day, I get a text from Margot, telling me to meet them at Pop’s before school. I’m not entirely sure what to think of it until I enter the diner and find Margot and Ella in a booth with Sweet Pea. A bunch of nerves sets in my stomach. I feel like I’m going to hurl. So, before they can even see me, I run into the restrooms. There, I try to calm myself down. My hands grip at the cold sink until my knuckles turn white. When I look at my reflection in the mirror, I’d never seen my eyes as dark as they are now. “You can do this,” I tell myself, “You’re Veronica Sawyer for Christ’s sake.” One talk with a boy will not change anything. I’ve been able to have a steamy scene with him and kiss him multiple times on stage, why can’t I just do this one thing? This doesn’t make any sense. I’m not making any sense. After heaving in a deep breath, I gather all my courage and walk back into the diner. “Hey, guys,” I greet, trying to play off the fact that I’d just had a mental breakdown in the restroom. All three of them look up at me. My friends get this wide, bright smile on their faces while Sweet Pea’s lips curl up into a more tender smile. A very cute smile, I might add. “Hey, Y/N!” Ella exclaims overexcitedly. “Join us!” She points at the seat next to Sweet Pea, and without asking anything else, I slide in next to him. Then Margot claps in her hands while Ella places hers on the table as if she’s getting up. “We’ve got to motor though. So…” Margot trails off suggestively. “Have fun!” and without getting another word in, both my friends have dashed off and out of the diner. I stare at their empty seats for a moment before turning to the tall guy next to me. “What a terrible set-up,” I say to him, chuckling. Then my eyes widen when I realize how bad that sounds. “Not that the company’s terrible, just the way they did it was terrible. You’re cool,” I ramble, then sigh when I finally shut up. Sweet Pea sniggers beside me, and when I look up at him, he has that same adorable smile on his face he had when I walked in. “I went ahead and ordered you a vanilla milkshake,” he slides the glass of white goodness towards me. “Margot did drink from it already though; hope you don’t mind.” I roll my eyes. Typical Margot. “Nah, it’s fine. We share lots of things,” mental face palm, “Wait, that sounds so wrong.” “Calm down, Y/N,” Sweet Pea says, grabbing my hands, “Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? You’re never this nervous in rehearsals?” A lump forms in my throat and I really have to try hard to swallow it. “Are you okay?” I look into his eyes to try and find calmness again. Then, I heave in another deep breath and begin my ramble. “IjustlikeyoualotSweetPea, but I’m scared it’s going to change the musical completely somehow or you don’t like me back or you think I’m weird or you’re going to distract me from going to drama school or you’re going to break my heart or Reggie’s going to break your face or… Something like that…” I look up again to find him staring intensely at me. “You don’t like me, let’s go for that.” I nod my head and prepare to get up, but Sweet Pea grabs me by my arm and pulls me back down. “I do like you back, Y/N. But you might be right about it changing the musical. And besides, you don’t want to be with me. Being a gang is a dangerous lifestyle and I don’t want to drag you into that.” A relief washes over me. It’s not exactly what I’d hoped for. But at least I know he likes me back. “So, we agree that this just isn’t the right time for us to start something?” I ask, just to be sure. “Yeah, I guess so… Maybe in a few months or years when we bump into one another in a bar in New York or something,” he smiles a happy smile. “You really think I’ll get to New York?” He nods in response, and from there, my complete outburst has been long forgotten and we’re chatting about the future. About my future in Musical Theatre and Sweet Pea’s possible appliance to some community colleges. It’s a relief nothing really changes between us. We’re on the same page about us being a thing. It’s just the wrong place, wrong time. But still, I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to kiss him. Thank heavens I get to tomorrow night on stage without any strings attached.  

“Are you ready for the show?” Sweet Pea’s voice makes me jump as he’d walked into the dressing room I shared with the Heathers. The girls had already left, and I was alone until a few seconds ago. Since I got dressed and ready, I started stress-reading and stress-singing all of my lines whilst pacing the room, just to make sure all of the lines were still in my head. Playing Veronica Sawyer was a dream, but there’s so much I need to remember and so much I could possibly forget. “No, I don’t think I know any of my lines, my dress is starting to itch, I’m not sure where I left my diary or the pen or the note I have to give to miss Fleming at the start. When do I go on again? And what are we going to do about Dead Girl Walking because I kind of liked our choreography more than Kevin’s and I—” Before I can even finish the last sentence, I’m shut up by his soft lips pressed to mine. I’m startled at first, but once I realize what happens, I relax a little more. My rapidly beating heart slows down again and air is pushed back into my lungs. “You need to calm down, Y/N. Dress rehearsal last night was more than amazing. You know the script by heart, you are Veronica Sawyer. And if you want, we could still do Dead Girl Walking the way we did it the first time. Fuck Kevin’s comments,” he smiles a little as he holds onto my cheeks to force me to look into his eyes. It only relaxes me more, thankfully. “You’re Veronica Sawyer,” he repeats. “Yeah, it’s going to be fine,” I sigh, nodding my head in agreement. “We start in two minutes!” Kevin’s voice sounds from the hallway. Sweet Pea reaches his hand out for me and I take it. He leads me towards the door and then we go to the wings where all of our other co-stars are. Ella and Margot give me a little smile, knowing how nervous I was, and when they see my hand in Sweet Pea’s, their smile turns into a smirk. So, I let go of his hand and walk up to them to talk a bit before we have to get on. “Break a leg,” Sweet Pea tells me before I have to go on for Beautiful. And then, before I know it, we’re already on Dead Girl Walking. To say I’m nervous about what Sweet Pea’s going to do is an understatement. I sing every line, hit the high notes and belts perfectly, and then I’m already in JD’s room. The nerves are building in the pit of my stomach. But then Sweet Pea’s voice calms me down. “Veronica? What are you doing in my room?” I shush him exaggeratingly. “Sorry but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you 'Cause Heather says I gots to go You're my last meal on death row Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on!” I strip myself of the blue blazer before continuing to sing. Everything is a complete blur until I’m straddling him and we’re full-on making out. I’m so lost in the kiss that I almost forget I need to sing more. “YEAH! Full steam ahead Take this dead girl walking!” "How'd you find my address?" “Let's break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!” "I think you tore my mattress!" “No sleep tonight for you Better chug that Mountain Dew!” "Okay, okay" “Get your ass in gear Make this whole town disappear” "Okay, okay!" “Slap me, pull my hair Touch me There and there and there And no more talking!” We do exactly how we did it the first time in rehearsals. The second Sweet Pea tugs at my top to open it, there’s loud uproar in the audience and cheers coming from the wings too. It only charges my confidence to nail those last high notes and belts. “Whoa! Love this dead girl walking!” For the rest of the first half of the show, I don’t trip over any lines and don’t forget any. Having Sweet Pea by my side almost constantly calms my nerves down. And the extreme uproar my top coming undone caused powered my confidence for the rest of the show. The only disadvantage to all of this, is that I realize I want to be with Sweet Pea all the time. And be with him. As in be his, kiss him without it being a scene, hold his hand, hug him. I want to be able to kiss him like he kissed me in the dressing room just moments before the show started. “You did great, Y/N!” Sweet Pea tells me at the start of the interval. “I can’t do this, Noah. Either we have to be together or I don’t want to see you anymore after tonight,” I tell him, and look in his eyes to find an answer. I only see confusion and sadness. Nothing that even indicates he wants the same. “Just, don’t make it harder than it already is,” I say before turning around and getting to my dressing room. “Are you okay?” Betty asks when she sees the tears running down my cheeks. All three of the girls rush towards me when her question just makes me break down more, and they embrace me as if they’re protecting me from something. “He doesn’t want to be with me,” I sob out. One of the girls rubs my back soothingly. “What makes you think that?” Cheryl asks, knowing exactly who I’m talking about. I think everyone knows who I’m talking about. It was probably very obvious what was happening. They probably knew before I did. “That boy is crazy about you.” “I told him I either want to be with him or I don’t ever want to see him again after tonight, and he just stood there with that sheepish smile as if he felt sorry for me,” I manage to bring out between ugly sobs. The girls only wrap their arms tighter around me. “Did he actually say that he felt sorry for you or that he didn’t want to be with you?” Veronica asks me, her voice soft and soothing. “No…” I trail off, “But I mean… It was pretty much written all over his face.” I wipe at my tears, knowing all too well I’ll have to redo my makeup after I’ve stopped sobbing. “I think you ought to talk to him,” Betty says, “Like Cheryl said, the boy’s crazy about you. It would surprise me he’d say something like that.” The blonde girl then cups my cheeks and tilts my head, so I’m looking directly at her. “Here’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to rock the second half of this show as Veronica Sawyer because, girl, there’s no one else who could play her better than you. Then after the show, you go talk to Sweet Pea and become the happy couple you’re supposed to be.” “But he told me before right now is bad timing. We agreed not to date since it was bad timing,” I explain, remembering our conversation at Pop’s. “But you changed your mind, didn’t you?” Cheryl asks, her eyebrows raised in hopes I would catch on. “So, maybe he changed his mind too?” The realization begins to sink in that I might have been a little rash into deciding he doesn’t want the same as me. I should’ve let him talk instead of trying to find the answer in his eyes. “You might be right,” I say and wipe the last tears away, “I’ll talk to him after the show.” I nod my head determinedly and the girls let go of me. “Yeah, you better blow him up first before talking to him,” Veronica jokes, making all of us chuckle a little. This musical is crazy. I knew it was when I saw it off-Broadway and when I saw the 80’s movie a few years ago. But I love it, nonetheless. “Let’s fix this make-up first,” Betty then suggests. Cheryl guides me to the chair in front of my mirror and they begin redoing my make-up for me. We chat about how great the first half of the show was and how much they loved that Sweet Pea and I did what we did in rehearsals during Dead Girl Walking. I bet them and Margot, Ella and Jodi were the ones cheering in the wings. Maybe all of them did, I’m not entirely sure. “Break a leg!” Betty says to me when we’re back in the wings after the interval. Then, Kevin gives us our cue to go on. It’s just me and Sweet Pea now, just before Ram and Kurt’s funeral. “There’s been a lack of girls climbing through my bedroom window lately,” Sweet Pea says after I’d sung a different version of Seventeen, which is a song we still have to sing and to say I’m nervous about it is, yet again, an understatement. “Take a hint,” I reply, clearly upset about the fact we killed Heather Chandler and the two jocks now. “Okay, you’re mad, I get it.” He walks closer to me until he’s in the spot that’s focused on me, mostly. “No, I don’t think you do. “Ich luge” bullets? You lied to me.” “You were lying to yourself, you wanted them dead too.” “Did not!” “Did too!” “Did not!” We’re arguing like little children until Sweet Pea raises his hands in defense. “Hey! Did they make you cry?” he then asks when he’s mere inches away from me. “Yes,” I respond, furrowing my eyebrows. “Can they make you cry now?” he gives me a suggestive look like JD would’ve done. “No, but you can,” and you did – but that has nothing to do with this musical. “Just wait until you see the good that comes of this.” I turn to face the audience, looking over each of the attendants’ heads as to not get distracted by my parents sitting there or the other jocks or anyone else. “No, nothing good could possibly come of this,” I tell him, wagging my finger without looking at him. “Call me an optimist,” he raises his arms sideways. And then I get to say one of my favorite lines from the movie, “Dear diary; my teen-angst bullshit has a body count.” The audience laughs as church music is played through the speakers. Sweet Pea grabs my hand and leads me towards the benches that were placed while the others come onto the stage too for the funeral scene. During this scene, I only have to sing back-up vocals for Dead Gay Son, and it gives me the time to think of some other stuff. Like the lines I’ll have to say after this or what I’m going to say to Sweet Pea when all this is over. Before I know it, the funeral scene is over and it’s Sweet Pea and me all alone again. For a while I go on automatic pilot with my lines until the volume of his voice grows and startles me. “Evil fucks that make life so unbearable that you can’t even stand to live in the world anymore?!” “JD?” He looks at me, and I pause for a moment to think or to pretend to think because I know my line. “How did your mother die?” I then ask. Sweet Pea stares at me for a second, then, in frustration, rubs hand over his chin. “You really want to know?” “Yeah,” I reply because I have to. “My dad said it was an accident. But she knew what she was doing,” he steps forward, “She stepped into that building two minutes before dad blew it up. She waved at me out the window and then…” he imitates an explosion with his hands whilst saying, “Ka-boom…” I heave in a deep breath and then sniffle as if I’m crying. “I’m so sorry. I—” but he interrupts me with his next line. “It’s okay. The pain gives me clarity,” then his voice grows louder again, “You and I are special, we have a lot of work to do.” “What work?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Making the world decent for people who are decent!” he shouts again, making me flinch slightly. “When does it end?” I ask as I walk up to him, but then he leans forward and his voice is so loud that it even scares me a little, even though I know this is supposed to happen. “When every asshole is dead!” he screams it right in my face. I flinch a little, but then push him away in pure frustration and anger. The music for Seventeen starting makes it even more dramatic. “Fine, we're damaged Really damaged But that does not make us wise We're not special, we're not different We don't choose who lives or dies” My voice sounds angry and a little gravely, but it makes the song even better somehow. For the next verse, I sing a little softer, making my voice sound more tender. “Let's be normal, see bad movies Sneak a beer and watch tv We'll bake brownies or go bowling Don't you want a life with me?” Sweet Pea still doesn’t look at me. He just stands on the other side of the stage, staring into the audience angrily with the most intimidating scowl on his face I have ever seen. “Can’t we be seventeen? That's all I want to do If you could let me in I could be good with you” “People hurt us” “Or they vanish,” Sweet Pea sings. “And you're right that really blows But we let go,” then Sweet Pea adds, “take a deep breath” “Then go buy some summer clothes We'll go camping” “Play some poker” I chuckle a little when he finally looks at me. “And we'll eat some chilli fries Maybe prom night” “Maybe dancing” “Don’t stop looking in my eyes” “Your eyes,” Sweet Pea echoes. The scowl on his face has been exchanged for a sad puppy face that nearly makes me cry. I reach my hand out for him to coax him to come closer to me as we sing the chorus together, our voices blending perfectly. “Can we be seventeen Is that so hard to do?” He carefully inches closer and closer. “If you could let me in I could be good with you” He finally takes my hand in his and pulls me a little closer, taking my other hand too. “Let us be seventeen If we still got the right” I let go of one hand and cup his cheek with his as I sing the next line. “So what's it gonna be I wanna be with you” “Wanna be with you” he echoes, and I almost believe him singing it to me instead of JD to Veronica. “I wanna be with you tonight” We belt out the note together, and then he pulls me in for the scripted kiss whilst the music still blares. I pull away from him – even though I don’t want to – when it’s my cue to sing. “Yeah we're damaged,” “Badly damaged” “But your love's too good to lose” our voices blend together again. I then step closer, wrapping my arms around his bicep, pressing my cheek against his shoulder while facing the audience. “Hold me tighter” “Even closer” he wraps his other arm around me. It feels so good and so natural to do this. “I'll stay if I'm what you choose” We then alternate between lines. Our voices soft and vulnerable.   “Can we be seventeen?” “If I am what you choose” “If we still got the right” “’cause you're the one I choose” I get out of his grip and turn back to the spot I was in before, facing him. Now, I can look in his eyes properly. They’re finally telling me the truth. Sweet Pea’s truth, not JD’s. Sweet Pea’s. He means the words as Sweet Pea to me.  Not as JD to Veronica. “You're the one I choose” “You're the one I choose,” we sing the last line together. His eyes dart from my eyes to my lips, and even though I know we have to kiss according to the script, I feel like he actually can’t wait to kiss me. And then he does. His lips curl up into a tender smile first before he places them on mine, gently. I almost forget the show must go on and the next scene is one we’re in too. I mean, we’re Veronica and JD, we’re in pretty much every scene. The end of the show comes sooner than I think. We’re already on the reprisal of Seventeen. It’s a bit bittersweet. I loved doing this musical and playing this part more than anything, but I’ll also be glad it’s over because then I can finally talk to Sweet Pea. “I meant every word I sang during Seventeen, Y/N. I want to be with you,” he tells me in a rush when I run into the wings after the last song. But now, we all still have to go on for the bows. “I want to be with you too,” I tell him with a little smile tugging at my lips. He then leans down and plants his lips on mine. It still feels the same it did when he kissed me in the dressing room or when we kissed on stage. That was never a stage kiss. “As much as I love this, guys,” Evelyn’s voice makes us break up, “You’re almost up for the bows!” I peck Sweet Pea’s lips quickly before running to the other side of the stage where I need to run up for my bows. First it’s Sweet Pea, and I watch him as he waves and then takes his bow. He begins clapping as I run up, a proud smile on his face. I bow and wave at the crowd before Sweet Pea grabs my hand and we bow together once. We then join the others and bow together twice until the music speeds up again and all of us begin dancing like crazy. Veronica and Betty run up to me and hug me sideways, each of them flanking me. I wrap my arms around them too and kiss Betty on the head. They then let go as we lapse into a chorus of “Beautiful” as it’s kind of part of the reprisal of Seventeen still. When the music dies down and all that’s heard is the audience’s applause, Sweet Pea grabs my hand and pulls me towards him, dipping me down to kiss me passionately. I faintly hear cheers, but I can’t focus much on that. All I’m focusing on is Sweet Pea and his tender, warm lips on mine. It is a beautiful freakin’ day.

[foryouthegays]

its time for a ‘assembling an army [Dream SMP]’ liveblog pogggg

bc people seem to like techno saying “puppy!” heres the timestamps for the times he says it in this stream and a few i remember from other times

10:30

12:35

2 mins into ‘minecraft VR is the ultimate fitness program’

and he doesnt say puppy but ‘train ‘em young (Collab with GURL GAMER ERMAGERD)’ is just. its so cute. please watch it. its techno playin and his little sister is in the background and i love it nd he says ‘pony’ nstead of horse so that counts. also his nod at 2:27 after his sister says ‘thats u!!’ is so cute like ahhhHHH and at 3:25 his sister says doggy and it sounds so similar to how techno says it in the vr vid ahhhhhhHHH sorry i just love that vid so much u can hear techno in the bg its so good

ALSO HE DID A ‘DO DO DOOO’ AT 15:20 :D!!!!!!!AND 1:07:45

if yall dont watch vods, he starts his stream with ‘starting the streaamm!!!!’ and its adorable. i highly recommend watchin the start of his streams just for that

as always, he says three in the prettiest way possible and i hate it. how can you make the word THREE sound nice its. its not allowed 

hes calling the wither skull place (which i had been calling theseus’ vault/home) the bunker and i kinda like that. (1:15)

“worst case scenario, he’s building an ugly tower outside of my base, best case scenario, he died!” 2:50

heres the link tommy sends at 7:10 https://www.reddit.com/r/tommyinnit/comments/kfdsid/i_know_tommy_likes_cobblestone_towers_so_heres_an/?sort=new

7:50

tommy: “what are your deepest emotions”

techno: “uhhh....revenge.”

tommy: -laughs- “what about like, you know, love.

techno: “not so much.”

tommy: -laughs- “hey, ok”

techno: “love? sounds kinda cringe,”

tommy: -laughs harder- “love?? all i know is anarchy!”

techno: “all i know is anarchy, violence, and get subscriber, ok? thats all you need.”

aroace c!techno pog??

the “i know another word for dog” “puppy!!!” convo is at 10:30 btw. techno is just. am love he

“you’re trying to think of one redeeming quality you have and you’re stuttering. you’re stuttering, tommy.” LSFJDLKDSJF 14:30

techno making fun of tommy falling through snow and then immediately doing the exact same thing is so funny a;sdkfjkasd 15:25

17:10 ah yes, a sheep, the opposite of a dog, mhmm

19:25 “tommy i dont believe in laws” LKSFJHDLA

“i need you i need you i need you” “i’m right here.” AWWWW  20:25

DREAM JOINED OH GOD 21:00

i feel like techno is just,,,,constantly redirecting the convo back to dogs to try nd distract tommy

OH GOD DREAM NO 28:00 GO AWAY

hhghn the way that techno asked tommy to describe his location,,,,,,isnt that LITERALLY grounding??? ik it was so tech could find him but just,,,tommy immediately started talking clearer and responding better to techno,,,,,hhgnn

AWW TECHNO CALLED IT ‘OUR HOUSE’ AT 29:25

why is technos laptop just randomly telling him abt pagodas im ksfhjdal 30:20

30:50 techno has access to twitch in universe

31:40 tECHNOS ‘Y O U’ IS SO FUNNY SFHGDJKAL

32:05 dream no. ‘hey I’m on my way to your house, need to have a chat with you’ GO AWAY 

WHY DOES HE HAVE A SECRET CHEST WHY IS HE LIKE THIS WHY IS HE SO SECRETIVE AHHHH 36:05

37:55 as much as i hate c! dream i just. i love dream nd technos dynamic so much but i know dreams gonna be in character and it makes me sad bc nooo dont be mean :(

38:50 “tommy....left” “who?” GFJHSKDL TECHNO IM IHUGFJSKDLA 

wait but techno couldve made skyblock canon in the smp universe if explained the sell foot as the ‘pigs foot’ from slaying dragons in skyblock and saying that they made people faster but nooOOOOooOOooooOOoooOOOoo gkfjshdl 39:45

techno just spelled coughing ‘caughing’ and idiot ‘idfiot’ im,,,,,hfdgkjs 40:50

TECHNO WHEN WE SAY U USE BIG WORDS WE DONT MEAN ‘ALOOF’ WE MEAN SHIT LIKE ‘RECIPROCITY’ HFGJDKSL 41:00  i doNT EVEN KNOW IF THATS THE WORD HE SAID IM SO DONE WITH HIM AHH

“what does impaired mean?” so THATS who technos talkin bout not knowin english 52:30 (bonus: “it means its out of pair, tommy”)

52:50 my god these people are so dumb im crying could u imagine just casually walking ur dog and u just hear yelling in the distance and u look up to see two sets of enchanted netherite, one with a dog and one with a llama who seems to be spitting at the owner, yelling at each other about staying stealthy and ur like ‘this may as well happen’ and one of them jUMPS OFF A BRIDGE and the other just yeets the llama down before jumping off as well and u see the dog walk up to u and u can kinda see an outline of someone and ur like whatever and then the other person walks by holding bamboo and no armor on with the llama still spitting and then one of them starts yelling at the other and ur like iS THAT TOMMY??? I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD??? and u realize the other is techno and ur like,,,,god why did i move to this cursed country and then the llama starts talking and spitting at u just. and u just. u leave. u just gotta leave. 

and then now ur ranboo, going to figure out whats happening and theres a llama that starts spitting at u and ur like ????? and u see some dogs and u turn around and then theyre gone and then tommy (who, once again, is thought to be dead) texts you and says u should join vc3 and then the llama starts talking and telling u to give up all ur things and then u DIE sjkdfal; 

anD THEN THE LLAMA DIES ALSDKJFALDKFA I LOVE THIS SERVER ITS SO DUMB

GKJHSFDL I LOVE RANBOO SO MUCH

god these people have no braincells when theyre together its so funny 

1:10:20 sCHLATT????? WHA T

🦀TOMMY IS GONE 🦀 1:15:00 (also: “he died as he lived, an absolute moron” JFKSDL TECHNO)

SJKHFDAL RANBOO JOINED THE GAME JUST TO SAY ‘THAT BETTER BE CANON TOMMY’ AND THEN JUST L E F T (1:18:45)

SFDGHJKAL TOMMYS MAD BC HE HAD 18 LEVELS AND DIED AND TECHNOS JUST C A S U A L L Y AT 100 DFSJHKLA I LOVE THEM

“ew, imagine using valid arguments to refute my idiotic points” god i love techno so much (1:19:50)

[vrokhakan]

Another day away from his homeworld- away from his life and all his accomplishments. Back on Mido he had been somebody. Not famous or rich. But somebody. Field commander of a prominent private military contractor. And he'd worked very hard to get there. But here fresh on Sigma Rhada he had less clout than a two year old. The only meaning the name Vrok Hakan held here was a monthly lease in a ratty apartment building and a growing tab at the liquor store. At least the people were familiar. There were pockets of midoans scattered throughout the planet- most of the ones in this community were made up of refugees. People who were tired of the skirmshes between the city and forest dwellers or had lost everything because of them. Back home the two sides fought incessently. Here they were just happy to have more of their kind around. A midoan of either side was better than none at all.

Vrok pushed aside the front door of the low quality apartment building and climbed up the steps. The sounds of each room bled out into the hallway into a racket that made him miss the street noise. A hand planted onto his chest and broke through the fog of alcohol that kept his mind dwelling on the differences from his homeworld. Fingers snapped in front of his eyes and he craned his head down at the man who'd stopped him in the hallway. The man was older than Vrok- he'd been an adult more than half his life by this point- and dressed way too loudly to live in this part of the neighborhood.

"Hey. Did you hear me? I said: Do. You. Live. Here."

He pushed the man's hand away from his face, "Why do you care?"

"It's collections time," the man said, speaking in a way he might to somebody who was either simple or didn't understand their language.

"I already paid rent this month."

"What? No not rent- Oh I see. You must be new here. This isn't for rent. Everybody in the building chips in a small fee each month for security. It helps keep the bounty hunters from moving in here."

"Let them come here. What are they going to do? Steal the refrigerator out of my apartment? Because that's the only thing in there worth taking. And even then the damn thing rattles all night."

The man shook his head and spoke with a waning level of patience that already seemed low to begin with. "Look, bud, don't make this hard. Everyone here pays."

"Not everyone," Vrok said and pushed his way passed. The haze returned and when it cleared Vrok was climbing onto the couch of his living room with an old itchy blanket tugged over the thick orange and red-tipped fur of his arms. A thankfully dreamless sleep took over until being broken by a loud knock on his door. He sat up and took a deep breath, pinching between his tired eyes then turning to look out the window. Mid-day from the look of it. The day had started without him and it looked like he'd have to play catchup.

He groaned and tossed the blanket aside, unraveling where his wifebeater was bunched from a night of tossing and turning. "Just give me a minute, fuck," he muttered and grabbed a dark bottle on the table across from the couch. He shook it about and sighed. Empty. He'd have to do another beer run once he was done with whoever this was. The midoan took a deep breath and sighed standing up. Another knock, "Yeah I hear you. I'm coming, shit."

He walked across the room to the door and pulled it open. Vision flashed white and a shock of pain shot through his nose. He stumbled backwards and fell to the floor.

Through the pain he could hear voices, "Yeah that's the one."

Another pain the size of a boot flared up in his stomach and then another in his back.

"Let's just see if you've got more than a dying refrigerator in here."

Another hit to the face left Vrok curled into a ball and covering as much of himself as he could. But no matter where he covered they always managed to find an equally bad spot to hit.

"Well damn I guess he wasn't lying. Look at this shit. The most he's got is a bar's worth of empty bottles."

"Hey, Arn! Take a look at this."

"Hoho. Maybe I spoke too soon. This armor should be worth quite a bit."

Vrok's ears perked up and his eyes opened wide. The pain flaring up through his body seemed to dull down and the heat flushed from his face. "Don't you touch that armor!" he yelled out.

"Think of it as a late fee for missing your security payment."

The midoan scrambled to his feet, barely even registering the kick to his mouth on his way up.  One of the men caught him by the fabric of his shirt and held him in place. The alien was much stockier than a midoan and even if Vrok was strong for his species it was still too much to overpower him. The one holding him spoke something that went unheard to Vrok as the man from the day before came into view carrying pieces of white and red body armor. His eyes widened at the sight of his last connection to his previous life went strolling out towards the door.

His hand lowered down to his side and fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle he'd checked earlier. Vrok swung it up and into the alien's head. Glass shattered and left the man reeling back. He charged the alien to their side who'd helped with the beating and drove the remnants of the bottle up into his throat. Vrok held the dying alien up and looked to his belt. If there was one thing Sigma Rhada had plenty of it was cheap guns like the one he found nestled in the waistline of the alien's pants.

He pulled it and turned to find the glassed alien charging at him. He fired two shots into him and side-stepped the falling body. Another of the men was caught mid-draw and Vrok fired three rounds into him. The clatter of his armor could still be heard over the ringing in his ears and he turned to see it all in a pile on the floor with the man from yesterday running out of the room and down into the hallway. Vrok fired a shot that clipped him through his gaudy jacket and left a red spray on the wall. The sound of hurried footsteps told him the man had lived. The ringing of his ears couldn't mask the gurgling of the man beneath him squirming around with the remnants of a bottle still in his neck and Vrok fired the last shot of the weapon into him.

The midoan adjusted his armor where he had re-placed it on the mannequin in his closet. It was all squared away now. His eyes glanced outside of the bedroom where the gunsmoke had tripped the smoke detector. Vrok shut the door and sighed, moving back to wave the smoke away from the chirping machine. At least he knew the landlord hadn't cheapened out on faulty detectors.

He dropped back down to the couch and took a deep breath. He glanced over at the two... three bodies on the floor and the gun on the table. He tested another bottle on the floor beside the table. Empty.

"Holy sh- You killed them," came a bewildered voice from the hallway.

"Nah, they were like that when I got here," Vrok said dryly and tossed the empty bottle back to the floor. He turned to look at the voice through a quickly swelling eye. "Don't tell me you're going to miss them."

"No. No not at all. Those Rever thugs have been shaking us down every month for years."

"Yeah? Surprised this didn't happen earlier then."

"Nobody here's a fighter," he said shaking his head. The white-furred midoan stepped in over the bodies. "In fact, I was a doctor back on Mido. I work in the clinic over on 53rd. I could take a look at those gashes if you want."

"Veda, is everything okay over there?" another voice called from the hallway.

"Yeah! It's all fine! Hey, could you go grab the medkit from my bedroom?"

Soon a small crowd of the apartment tenets had gathered around, some coming by to chat about the ordeal or to catch a glimpse of the fiery midoan who had put an end to the long time thugs. The stronger stomached ones hepled scrub away the blood and glass. A handful of off duty 'cleaners' even helped take the bodies away. By the end of the day Vrok had been introduced to nearly every tenet there. His room was full of gifts from various foods to new decorations and even a new blanket. The bottles were cleaned up, stains were gone, and there was a standing fan cooling the place down and thinning out the thick humid air. Vrok didn't understand it but he wasn't about to refuse a few upgrades to his living situation. Even if it was only making a dead end life somewhat more comfortable.

A few days had passed by and Vrok had become more familiar with the people living around him already. The man didn't try to be social but he would get stopped now and again by his neighbors for a conversation and over time he started to learn their names. They were nice enough but didn't quite seem to understand that Vrok just wanted to be alone. If it weren't for the need to visit the liquor store then he would have merely held himself up in his room. But there was no avoiding it.

Given how fast the news traveled about his run in with the thugs he shouldn't have been surprised the day he returned to somebody waiting for him. One of the women from the floor above him was surrounded a few of the tenets. All outside of his door.

"Vrok! Thank the gods you're here. These men came to my husband's store. They started asking about money and smashing things and they started to attack him! He told me to find help- a couple of the people from here went to help but you're the only one of us who has actually fought these people."

He didn't know how to respond. He merely stared at her blankly and shook his head. "Why do you think I want to get involved with all that?"

"We don't have much but we could pay you.. something at least."

Another voice chimed in from the group, "I'll throw something in too."

"Me too," came from the other side of the crowd.

Vrok opened his mouth to respond but the desperate eyes of the woman and the crowd all on him caught the refusal in his throat.

"I guess I could use the money. Alright. Hold on," he said and squeezed his way passed them and into his room.

"Fuck me man," he mumbled and pulled a handgun from a holster on his armor. "Don't get me mixed in with this shit," he checked the chamber and tucked the weapon into his waistline. "I just want to lay around here in peace until I fucking die, is that too much to ask?" He popped the top off of a bottle and took one quick mouthful before hurrying back outside.

The store was easy to find. He could hear the commotion from a block or two away. When he arrived the windows had been smashed out and the inside wasn't much better. The store looked like a bomb had gone off inside. Shelves were on their side, products were smashed and strewn all over, and the group who had set off to help were shouting at three aliens. Two of the aliens were holding off the crowd with their weapons drawn while the third had a midoan by the throat against the wall. The man who must have been the woman's husband looked dead already- if he wasn't then it would be a roll of the dice if he pulled through.

Vrok ran his fingers through his mohawk and took a deep breath. He hadn't taken any money yet. He could just walk away.

At least until eyes had turned on the new arrival.

"We don't need any more of a crowd in here. The store's closed, get out," one of the lookouts said.

"I'm a friend of his," Vrok nodded to the bloodied midoan. "I'm not leaving until you do."

"Hold on. Doesn't this guy look like the one Arn was telling us about?" the other one asked with his eyes squinted over at Vrok.

The other one started to nod, "You know what, I think he does."

Vrok saw their weapons turn towards him.

"Hey, why don't you come a bit closer so we can talk a little," one said.

Vrok looked between the two of them. Eyes met. Vrok drew his weapon in a way he'd trained to hundreds of times before. Unlike before he wasn't reliant on the bottom tier garbage of Sigma Rhada. This was his weapon. A mounted sight settled on the first guard's head and he fired two shots. Before he'd even seen the result he had already switched to the other. They had fired already but weren't ready for it and their rounds went into the floor. Vrok's hit home.

It had only been a second or two but the men were dead before the crowd even began to scatter. The third thug dropped the midoan and held his hands up. A shocked expression was plastered on his face and he looked between the two and then up to Vrok. "Woah woah. Hold on. Don't do anything stupid-" A shot blew through his head.

"Get him to the clinic," Vrok said motioning to the beaten store owner.

Two days went by. Vrok heard through the conversations going around the building that the woman's husband survived even if he still hadn't woken up. True to her word she'd paid a small amount- he hadn't expected much. Not from anybody who had to live in that dump but especially not a near-widow with a decimated store. The crowd funding had made it worth while, though. Apparently all together the building could come up with a nice little sum. Suddenly Vrok understood why somebody would run a protection racket on it. If he made that kind of money each month he'd have nothing to worry about.

A knock on his door broke his concentration. This was starting to become a trend. He wasn't about to be taken by surprise again. He picked his gun up off the table and checked through the peephole. It was one of the more active midoans around the building. One of the few who had at least made the effort to show up to the store. Even if he hadn't done anything meaningful in the end. Vrok remembered him as Kino.

Vrok answered the door, "Yeah?"

"Vrok. Those guys you killed a few days ago? Word finally got around to the Reavers. People are saying they're on their way to the store and they're going to burn it down."

He shrugged at him, "And where do I come into this? It's not my store."

"Please, Vrok. These people left everything on Mido. That store is all they have. And if it burns down the fire's going to spread to the other buildings. Other people's lives are going to be ruined too."

"Well... I guess last time I got paid.."

"We gave you everything we could spare for that, Vrok." He glanced side to side, desperate to come up with anything. Then his eyes widened, "A bounty! A lot of those Reavers probably have a bounty on them. You could make much more than what we paid you last time- maybe even triple if you're lucky!"

"A bounty, huh?" Vrok rubbed his chin. He always had a rule back on Mido. Never take a job where payment is a gamble. But this wasn't Mido and he couldn't just hop over to another city to get a better contract. "Alright. But you guys are going to actually help me this time."

He sent Kino off to go collect the others. When they returned weapons in hand they found Vrok standing tall in a suit of red, white, and black armor. He slid a cigar out from a plastic wrapping and ran a knife around the back of it.

"We're all here, Vrok. You ready?"

Vrok lit the cigar and blew a puff of sweet wood smelling smoke. He nodded, "Yeah. Let's go put out a fire."

[sadpotatoondrugs]

Cold Nights (LadyNoir)

STATUS: REWRITTEN.

WARNINGS: None 

PAIRING

: Ladybug x Chat Noir - Ladynoir

Masterlist

~~~~~

Snow. Why did it have to be snow?

The newest akuma they were fighting, Ice Glacior, decided for some reason to cover the whole Paris in ice and snow. He was very similar to one of their previous ice-related akumas, Frozer, hence the name Ice Glacior But their motives were pretty different. While Frozer became an akuma because of the Ice Rink shutting down, Ice Glacior was an ice sculptor. He had been wronged by a friend of his and his studio where he made sculptors had been shut down by the mayor. One thing led to another and in an instant, he became a victim of Hawkmoth’s power.

He immediately used his powers to turn the whole Paris into a sculpture of ice. Unlike Frozer, though, not only did the ice spread through buildings and water, but through people as well. Soon, the entire city became an icy ghost town. People were frozen in their spots everywhere, changed into ice sculptures.

It was only by luck that Adrien and Marinette escaped the Ice Glacior’s powers. They were both in class at that time and were able to avoid the ice thanks to their blogger friend. It wasn’t a secret that the girl followed every social media possible to be one of the first ones to know if there is an akuma somewhere in the city, so it was no surprise when she stood up in the middle of their literature class to announce the new villain. Not a minute later, they all could feel the temperature in the room drastically decrease. By then, Marinette and Adrien were already halfway through their transformations.

Thankfully, the powers of their own miraculouses were able to withstand the power of the akuma and did not get covered in ice. That being said; even through the cold resistance their suits provided, they felt a slight chill. But that was nothing they couldn’t ignore. They needed to focus on the fight.

As Marinette, now disguised as Ladybug, left the girl’s bathroom, she couldn’t help but wince at the scene in front of her. Everybody was covered in ice, not moving, not breathing. Of course, it wasn’t like she didn’t expect that to happen, but it hurt nonetheless to see her friends basically, well, dead.

But that was the burden that came with being Ladybug. The fate of her friends and the fate of the other people in Paris was always up to her ability to bring everything back to normal. There was always that pressure in the back of her mind when she fought, the pressure that she has to fix everything.

It sucked, but hey. That responsibility had to fall on somebody. Somebody had to protect others and be there as the symbol of peace. And that somebody just ended up being her.

It wasn’t like she complained, no, not at all. She loved being Ladybug and was glad that fate gave her that miraculous, gave her Tikki. But the pressure was something she wished she didn’t have to endure.

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and swung away from the scene and into the cold streets of Paris. It was not the time to think like that, she had to safe everybody.

She met her partner not long after leaving the school. They both discussed the villain, questions whether the akuma was Phillipe again were thrown in the air. They looked for the akumatized villain everywhere, it was quite difficult to do so since they had no idea of his whereabouts. They checked every ice-related building in Paris, but they were unsuccessful.

In the end, it was Ice Glacior who seeked them out. He, or rather, Hawkmoth didn’t want to wait any longer for their miraculouses and chose to fight. They did the usual, battling the villain while trying to figure out the akuma’s residence and the person’s motives.

Throughout their many fights, they figured out that it is easier to fight and defeat the akuma when the victim is in doubt of his decisions. That is why the majority of their battle consisted of blocking the attacks and reasoning with the Ice Glacior. They were somehow successful in making the villain doubt his decisions, but to their dissapointment, this villain did not choose to fight them with an occupied mind like the others and fled.

The two heroes tried to follow the villain, but it was like he had done some kind of a magic trick. As soon as they turned one corner, he was gone. Nowhere in sight. The two searched the Paris for him, splitting ways as to cover more ground. Neither of them wanted the fight to continue anymore, it had been quite a few hours since their transformation and fight and they were getting more and more exhausted as the day proceeded. They wanted to end it as soon as possible and get back home, rest and (in one of the hero’s cases) spend time with their beloved families.

When the sun began to sit, their hopes were getting thin, as was their energy for the day. Even with the Miraculouses magical properties enhancing their stamina and strength, their bodies energy levels remained the same. They decided to meet back up somewhere safe and figure out what to do next.

One thing was clear, they couldn’t fight if they were exhausted. They needed to rest. They both agreed on sleeping through the night to restore their energy and then resume their search for the villain. They needed to find a safe place where he wouldn’t find them first, though.

By the time they found a place, the sun was already gone and the Moon was in it’s place. They settled in a small family house. It was in a part of the town where neither of them had been before, even as heroes. It also happened to be a place that was halfway out of the range of Ice Glacior’s powers. The house was frozen halfway, and there was no way they would be able to get inside through doors or windows, as they were all frozen. But thankfully, the house had an attic with an accessible entrance from the outside. They were glad that the attic was practically left untouched, spare for the few spots of ice on the ground, which meant that they wouldn’t have to sleep on the ice and risk getting hypothermia.

Then again, that was another worry in their minds. The suits barely blocked out the cold before, when it was day and the sun was up. Now, the coldness of the night was mixed with the powers of the Glacior, making the cold even more unbearable. Even with the suits, they could definitely say they were cold now.

They were only glad that the attic blocked out some of the coldness and provided temporarily a shelter for them.

They searched the attic first for any blankets or pillows, possibly some clothes to cover themselves when they slept. The attic was mostly filled with old pictures and toys, some furniture here and there. At last, they found a few think blankets. They only hoped that would be enough to cover their cold bodies and warm them up even just a little in their sleep.

They used one of the blankets to cover the window they entered through and Ladybug used some of the furniture as a temporary trap. If the Glacior found them while they slept and tried to enter, he would make so much noise that he would alert the two of his presence and give them time to transform.

Now, both heroes had one thin blanket and no pillow. They were grateful for at least the blankets, though. It provided at least some comfort from the cold.

“Okay. Remember, no matter what happens, you don’t look in my corner, and I don’t look in yours.” Ladybug sterly reminded her partner as they prepared for their detransformation. Even though neither one of them used their superpowers, the kwamis must be getting exhausted, too, from aiding the heroes through other abilities.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to take even a single peek. Even though it will be very hard to resist looking at your beauty, My Lady.” It seemed that the exhaustion was getting to him, it could easily be determined through the quality of his jokes. Ladybug rolled her eyes at him to which he put his hands up in surrender, noticing her seriousness. “Hey, I’m sorry. I promise I won’t look. Cat’s honor.”

Ladybug smiled gratefully and nodded. They both turned around and detransformed.

They immediately felt the temperature drastically change as soon as the suits disappeared from their bodies. They both gasped slightly when the cold air hit their skin. But the had expected that much. They both fed their kwamis and lied down, covering their bodies with their blankets as quick as possible to warm themselves up.

They didn’t transform right away, as to not tire the kwamis further. They couldn’t get more food for them since everything was turned to ice, so they chose to preserve the powers until the next day, when they would be able to search for the villain and take him down.

Marinette tossed and turned, the cold, hard floor along with the cold air didn’t seem to want her to rest. She expected it, yes. But that didn’t mean she was prepared for it.

Her whole body was shaking and she had to try to remain silent as to not wake up Chat with her heavy breathing and such. That’s right, he was able to fall asleep quite easily. Fast, too. She was kind of jealous of that, but ignored that fact and tried to fall asleep herself. That proved to be quite difficult. She could barely feel the fingers on her hands and feet, as they were getting numb from the cold. She breathed into her hands and stuffed them under her armpits to get them a little warmer.

She heard shuffling and prayed that she didn’t wake up her partner. Fate wasn’t playing in her favor this time, though.

“My Lady? Is everything okay..?”

Damn it.

“Huh?... Yeah… Why…. Why wouldn’t it be?” She internally cursed at her failed attempt to hide her shaking. She could only hope he would reason the stuttering with her being sleepy.

“You don’t sound like it… I can hear your excessive breathing, you know.”

How come he isn’t… cold?

…

Wait, HOW COME HE HEARS MY BREATHING WHAT THE-

“Okay, fine. I am… just a little cold…. Happy? ” She brought the blanket closer to herself, wrapping it even tighter around her small body in an attempt to create at least a little bit more heat. “But it’s not like… like I can do much about it.”

She heard shuffling, which startled her a little bit. It sounded like her partner had got up and begun walking somewhere. She wouldn’t say anything at that, if she didn’t catch the sound of his footsteps getting closer to her.

“Chat?.. Chat! What are you doing! I told you not to look!” Unwrapping her blanket from her body, she brought it up to cover her face as to not be recognized. While doing so, she sadly released all the heat that was built up inside the cocoon she created earlier. She mentally cried rivers but chose to ignore it since there was a bigger problem at hand at the moment. Before she could scold him again, he chose to reason with her.

“Relax, Bugaboo. My eyes are closed, I can’t see a thing…” As he finished his sentence, Marinette calmed down from her panic from before and relaxed. Although she trusted her partner with her life, she knew how he longed for the time where they would finally reveal their identities to each other. But she knew that that day was far away from becoming reality, not as long as Hawkmoth was out there.

She didn’t make a move to remove her blanket from her face, even though it meant that her feet were now completely uncovered and she could feel the coldness again. Even though he said his eyes were closed, she felt afraid of uncovering her face.

She heard his footsteps stop right next to her and she quickly came back to her senses and asked him again

“…What are you-?” She suddenly felt something, no, somebody hug her from behind. She tensed up again as Chat snuggled up to her from behind and dropped his own blanket over the both of them.  

“Don’t worry, My lady. I’m only trying to prevent you getting hypothermia.” He said gently, and Marinette could sense how genuine he sounded while saying it. And she believed him. Partially, she was freaking out on the inside, her mind screaming at her to tell him to bug off and go back to his corner. That this was way too much of a risk to take. But on the other hand… The warmth that radiated off of his body and mixed with hers was… comforting. She didn’t know if it was because of the addition of the second blanket being tossed over her body, or if it was actually thanks to Chat’s own body heat that she no longer felt cold.

Either way, she was grateful for the gesture.

“..:Thank you, Chat.” She mumbled, subconsciously leaning back into him for more warmth. “You really are the best partner that Ladybug could ever have.” And just like him, her words were nothing less than genuine.

“Always, My Lady.”

Maybe she’d risk accidentally revealing their identities, just for tonight.

[shannendoherty-fans]

Shannen Doherty Is Not Signing Off Just Yet

Fighting Stage IV breast cancer has forced some self-reflection, but the ’90s icon and so-called diva refuses to slow down.

By Kate Pickert Sep 29, 2020. Photos by Kurt Iswarienko. Elle USA October 2020 issue

On a cool evening in February 2019, Shannen Doherty invited some friends to a Venice, California, rental house for a dinner party. Doherty’s actual home was in Malibu, 20 miles north, but she and her husband, photographer Kurt Iswarienko, had fled the property a few months earlier, when a wildfire that started inland burned nearly 100,000 acres on its way to the Pacific Ocean. The couple’s house survived the blaze, but Doherty says the property sustained significant damage that made it uninhabitable.

The guest list for the dinner included only people Doherty trusted: her husband and the friends who knew the real Shannen—not the 1990s tabloid caricature, the loudmouthed bad girl with a temper. Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar was there, along with model Anne Marie Kortright, Malibu real estate agent Chris Cortazzo, and a Los Angeles doctor named Lawrence Piro.

Doherty had compiled the guest list, but it was Piro, her oncologist, who drove the conversation. Less than two years earlier, the actress had finished treatment for breast cancer, and Piro was at the dinner to explain that Doherty’s disease was back. The cancer, Piro said, was now metastatic (also known as Stage IV), meaning it had spread beyond Doherty’s breast and lymph nodes. “The way he presented everything to everyone was matter-of-fact,” Doherty, 49, tells me when we speak in June. The news was devastating, of course, and Doherty had invited Piro so her friends could get answers to the questions she knew they would have. Would she die of this? Probably. Would she die soon? Probably not. Why did this happen? It was impossible to know. Could this be treated? Yes, to a point. “Everybody got to ask questions and know what we were looking at as a group, as a team,” Doherty says.

About 300,000 American women are diagnosed with breast cancer every year. In the majority of cases, initial treatment for the disease is effective, curing the patient. But in a significant share of cases, the breast cancer returns, either to the breast or nearby lymph nodes or to other parts of the body. In Doherty’s case, despite the surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation she had undergone after her first diagnosis, it seemed that some cancer cells had survived the assault and made their way to her spine. Eventually, the disease will most likely spread further, to Doherty’s brain, lungs, liver, or some combination thereof.

Still, there was reason for hope, Piro told the group. Treatment for metastatic breast cancer, which was once an automatic death sentence, has advanced in recent years, with patients living longer and having a better quality of life. Some survive for a decade or more. Doherty’s treatment would include hormone therapy to block the estrogen fueling her cancer, plus a second targeted drug that is often effective at stabilizing metastatic disease. If this didn’t work, there were other drug combinations to try, but the bottom line was that Doherty would be in treatment for the rest of her life. As Piro explained all this, his patient sat at the table, listening.

Nearly 30 years after she played Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills, 90210, Doherty is still striking, with high cheekbones and shiny, jet-black hair. “I think people have a mental picture of Stage IV cancer as someone sitting in a gray hospital gown, looking out a window on their deathbed,” Iswarienko, tells me. “I don’t see a cancer patient when I look at Shannen. I see the same woman I fell in love with. She looks healthy and vital.”

As if a massive wildfire and a metastatic cancer diagnosis weren’t enough, there was more bad news to come. Weeks after the Venice dinner, Doherty’s 90210 costar Luke Perry died suddenly of a massive stroke. After the show, they had grown apart, but they’d reconnected in recent years. They were even talking about working together, developing a new television project.

At a memorial service for Perry in March 2019, Doherty saw Brian Austin Green, the only other 90210 castmate she could call a close friend. Green had known Doherty even before they were onscreen together, and she shared the news of her metastatic diagnosis with him, even though she was keeping it under wraps publicly. Doherty and Green chatted at the memorial, and the conversation eventually shifted to the latest reboot of the show, called BH90210, a scripted-reality version of the old nighttime drama set in the present day. Castmates Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth had helped come up with the idea for the series, which had been green-lighted at Fox, and all the principals of the original had signed on—except Doherty.

Even before her cancer diagnosis, Doherty was dead set against doing the show. “I had already done two 90210s by that point,” she says. “I didn’t really see it as something that was going to help, but I did feel that it could stir up stuff from when I was 19 years old.”

The 1990s made Doherty a household name, but the decade also left scars. She had helped build 90210 and the Fox network into juggernauts, but on and off set, she seemed to run into problems wherever she went. Celebrity tabloids regularly published stories about Doherty fighting with producers, writers, and actors. She was a diva, according to reports. She was a bitch, they said, impossible to deal with. A 1993 People magazine cover declared Doherty “Out of Control!” after the actress’s ex-fiancé accused her in court of threatening him with bodily harm. The story itself, one of many like it, reported that Doherty had “left a trail of bad debts, trashed homes, exhausted friendships, and wasted relationships.” There was even an I Hate Brenda newsletter devoted to bad-mouthing Doherty and her onscreen character. “The more stories that were written about me, the more defensive and closed off I became,” Doherty tells me. “And the bigger the walls I built around me. I had a lot of resentment.” 

Doherty had worked hard to move on from that time. When the newest reboot came around, she had long been out of the spotlight, but her relative obscurity had an upside—privacy, which she prized more than anything. She didn’t want to go back, to the tabloids or her castmates. But Green asked her to reconsider. “I was really pitching her: ‘I know it’s going to be fucking hard, but come do it. I think it’ll be really good for you,’ ” Green says. The actors had grown up and were all different people now, Green told her, and so was she. He would act as a buffer if she needed one. “ ‘This is a rare opportunity to experience each other again in a much different way,’ ” Green says he told her. 

Perry’s death shifted things for Doherty. Maybe the show could be a sort of tribute to him. Maybe it was a chance to prove to herself that metastatic breast cancer didn’t mean the end of working. Maybe it was both. “Things happen and you go, ‘All right, this is what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment,’ ” she says.

This moment would be different. Doherty had changed, yes, but so had her ability to fight back against negative stories in the celebrity press. “I knew that once I signed up for the show, the bullshit would start all over again. And, in fact, it did,” she says. The reboot’s showrunner and several writers quit before the new show began shooting, and rumors swirled that Doherty was once again acting out. “I addressed it immediately,” Doherty says. On Instagram, she wrote, “I refuse to be cast in the same villain role because ‘journalists’ lack imagination.… I am a woman with my own story.” She wrote that the rumors about her causing upheaval with the new show were untrue and that she was a more complicated person than the headlines made her seem: “I promise,” she wrote, “you don’t know me.”

Part 1 - Part 2