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isimpfortoomanypeople · 2 years

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A Spark can turn into a flame- Billy Hargrove X Female Henderson Reader

The aftermath of having your body controlled by something from a different dimension took its toll upon billy, especially as he can’t tell anyone what he faced the past month. Till one night a party celebrating the graduates of Hawkins he finally met someone he could confide in

Warnings: alcohol, vomit warning, mentions of abuse, implied smut (minors do not interact!) and a lot of teeth rottingly cute fluff (Billy may seem out of character but allow the fluff as an apology for my last Billy fic)

A/N: I went camping last weekend and this fic hit me out of nowhere so I had to write it down, I wanted some soft Billy fluff so that’s what I wrote. I’m from the U.K. so sorry if some parts sounds overly British. I apologise for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

Billy took a sip of his beer hoping that it would help to alleviate this dread he was feeling, high school is drawing to an end. And what did billy have to show for 4 years of his life? Barely passable grades, going through half the girls at Hawkins till he got a reputation for himself and not a single person who cares about him.

Sure he has nearly the whole of the basketball team competing for the title of’Billy Hargrove’s right hand man’ but it was all superficial, all for show and nothing more.

Billy feared this lonely feeling that haunts him late at night, that he may turn into his farther, a bastard who only talks with his fists doomed to live a loveless life for as long as he shall live. Which is why he puts on this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude or drowns those thoughts into too much booze till they become slurred and hard to understand.

“Here you are keg king” Tommy slurred passing Billy another beer. Without a second thought he down the liquid as if it’s water, causing some drunken cheers towards his direction. No amount of liquor in his system could melt away this pit of numbness, for these past few months since the attack that’s all he felt. So desperate to feel something, anything. No matter how many people he screwed or parties he stumbled his way out of could stop this pain he was feeling. At least he was thankful that the government extinguished all evidence from the starcourt mall attack, now he is known as the hero who survived the fires brutal flames.

He was somehow able to be convinced to join this fireside party, labelled as the last hurrah before college starts in the fall.

He stumbled up to his feet, suddenly forgetting how his feet worked. Was it right foot then left foot then left again?

“Woah! Are you okay?” You asked catching Billy’s frame before he hit the ground

“I’m fine princess” he dismissed, trying to shake you off.

You could tell by the way he was barely coherent that it was not the case. You watched where his eye line was heading towards, it made you roll your eyes and groaned at his typical behaviour.

Fucking high school boys and the way that they believe their limit is higher than what it is

“I think that you should have a break for a while”

“I’m fine” he growled, his jaw clenched with frustration.

Who does this girl think she is? Yes he was pissed off on the surface but deep down he was thankful that someone cared for him even if it was just for a while. But his stubborn arrogance that he wore as a protective cloak for years sealed this emotion from reaching the surface, leaving a cool sense of dismissal on the surface.

You sighed knowing that this would not be an easy fight, the only way you knew how to win with a drunk person, and by experience, was to bargain with them. Tell them a fake promise of receiving alcohol hoping that they’d forget about it upon the way.

“How about we go for a walk then we can get you more beer, keg king? “ you chuckled, holding his body upright

“Fine” he sighed like a child in kindergarten rolling his eyes, hating the fact that you maybe right

The walk was more tiresome than what you thought , Billy leaning his body weight upon you to keep him walking in a straight line. But Billy is more heavier than what you took into account for , but then again he had a six pack and muscles that were visible from all directions, so you really should of thought clearly before offering this alternative to alcohol.

“Can we stop princess?” He murmured, the world spinning at a high speed that made him feel nauseous. He swallowed thickly but he felt the vomit creeping up his throat till he couldn’t ignore it. He retched and out spewed the 10 beers and whatever was in those shots he was handed through out the night.

Billy felt a gentle hand patting his back helping him to bring up the puke that held captive in his throat.

“It’s okay, bring it up”

“You shouldn’t see this princess-“ he was interrupted by another stream of vomit blocking off the final words of his sentence.

You couldn’t help but laugh about how typical this night ended, your last high school party having to hold someone’s hair back while they vomited their way into sobriety.

But then again you yearn for anything typical as having a younger brother who thought his way through demons and monsters from a different dimension . You’d give anything to have the text book high school experience that you saw in sixteen candles or even at a push the breakfast club style of normal. But no you were destined to hold a baseball bat or patch up teens after their near death experience. It was a miracle that you passed your grades with this hectic norm you learnt to accept.

You helped to lower Billy on a rock while he slowly took some deep breaths to steady his churning stomach.

You know the saying drunk speak is sober thoughts? Well this applied true to Billy especially tonight

“Billy are you okay?” You question seeing his eyes welling up with tears. Sure you and Billy have barely said a word to each other all semester, maybe it’s having a baby brother but as soon as you see someone close to tears, it drives something in you, the nurturing side of you, wanting to do anything till their pain subsides.

“You wouldn’t believe me princess” he muttered, burying his face in his hands. Isn’t this typical, no amount of alcohol could erase the past month from his mind

You lightly chuckled sitting beside him, you both stared out at lovers lake, you never knew how it got the name. Sure it was pretty and peaceful but after all it was just a lake.

After a few beats of silence, you cleared your throat allowing the words you’ve been concocting in your throat to escape.

“Well I think that you might be surprised about what I’d believe”

“No you wouldn’t-“

“Try me-“

“Fine! He snapped, he cringed at the awkward atmosphere he created. He didn’t mean to yell but you were being so persistent and wouldn’t drop it even when he asked you twice, so was he really to blame?

“I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind every day, I can’t escape this feeling of dread, like this thing is going to come after me again” he spat out these words that tasted bitter within his mouth, like he had to get these words out quickly as if it was killing him to say them.

“There was this monster. I know this sounds crazy, but my brain, my body was controlled by someone else. It made me control other people till it killed them, I feel like it’s all my fault. I couldn’t stop it, but it was my own body doing these things. I saw myself doing this fucked up shit but I couldn’t stop it, I even threatened to kill a group of kids.” A single tear fell down his cheek, his jaw clenched in irritation by his own stupidity, it was a mixture of allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of a stranger or allowing himself to be controlled.

“I know what you’re thinking, Billy is going crazy, so go on tell them! Because I don’t care anymore” the last part of the sentence became so loud it made you cower from his induced sudden bust of rage.

“Billy” you spoke softly trying to defuse the tense atmosphere created, you reached out to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, to comfort him. To help him believe that he wasn’t truly alone. Sure you wanted to escape the horrors that has now became your life for one night, but you couldn’t leave someone so vulnerable on their own.

He hissed and flinched from your touch, allowing his shoulders to close in around his frame to create a barrier between him and you.

“I don’t think your crazy, my brother Dustin is friends with your sister Max. Well I know about the mind slayer and the upside down, I’ve been involved in it for years. I’ve faced life and death from monsters most believe exists in movies. So believe me Billy, you’re not crazy and non of this was your fault. No one blames you, it wasn’t you, you didn’t do this” you softly smiled again towards his direction, your eyes gently glistening.

The weight of the heavy atmosphere melted away making the air more easier to breathe. This confession felt cathartic, this weight that felt like it was eating both of you alive finally released.

Billy’s body turned over to face you once again. His eyes red over your comforting words, for the first time in a month he felt free. Someone finally got it, he didn’t feel so crazy anymore.

“You’re not lying to me?”

“Of course not Billy”

You held out your arms towards him, and for once in his life did he allow himself to feel some form of affection. He broke down as soon as your arms wrapped around his frame, like your arms removed the dams that kept all the emotions he was too scared to feel at bay. You held him as each sob coursed through his body, allowing him to feel what ever he needed in that moment. As from experience that’s all you needed from nearly facing death from something you had no choice but to keep a secret.

——————————————————————————

“Y/N!”

You groaned, pulling your pillow over your head. Trying to muffle your brother’s screams, now isn’t the time to be so rudely awaken especially when your head is pounding from the weight of alcohol that weighed heavy upon your skull.

“Y/N!”

“What?” You yelled back, throat horse and gravelly from just being forced out of your slumber.

“Phone” Dustin called upstairs.

You rolled your eyes as you staggered out of bed, whoever this is better be worth waking up for. Clutching the phone close to your head, you yawned

“Hi, who is this? “

“Hi princess, I hope you don’t mind but I asked max for your number” the voice rasped, clearly in a worse state of hungover than you.

You chuckled, feeling a large smile creeping across your cheeks

“I’m surprised you made it home, last time I saw you I had to hold your hair back” you joked, chewing your lip to stop yourself from recalling the rest of the night incase he didn’t remember or hoped you forgot.

“ I got a ride not too long after our little talk. I want to say thanks for dealing with my shit last night, I didn’t mean to drag your evening down-

“Billy-“

“But! I want to ask you if I could take you out, say this Saturday? To show my gratitude?”

You held the phone far-away from your face, as a small squeal of excitement escaped your lips, your lips turned into a smile so big your cheeks ached

“Princess are you there?” Billy anxiously spoke, twirling the wire around his fingers trying to fight this small pang in his stomach telling him this was a bad idea.

“I’d like that”

“Then it’s a date”

——————————————————————————-

Over the course of the meal you both felt this bond, it could be the way we was able to look at you in a way that made you believe that no one else existed in that moment in time, or could it be that you both finally felt like you have met someone who got you in a way that no one else did. It was a mix of the shared trauma or the fact that you were the first person billy felt like he could be his true self around, not this asshole persona he kept on the forefront to protect himself.

Sure you heard the whispers along the hallways about the blonde haired boy, enough to know that he was bad news. That he has a reputation for having a few notches under his belt, that he wore he signature I don’t give a fuck attitude as much as he wore his skin tight jeans. Dustin made no effort to conceal his feelings for the Hargrove boy, and if he knew that you were here tonight you were sure he’d combust on the spot.

You felt guilty to admit that you once fallen into the ‘I hate Billy fan club’ but that was to do with your close friendship with Steve, you were once convinced that this ‘bad boy’ act was just what he was, he was a hollow shallow boy who only thought with his dick. But that all changed the night where El recounted what she saw within Billy’s past, it was far from an excuse for the shitty way he behaved, but you felt a sense of sorrow for the blonde. He was just a kid who wanted to be loved by his own farther, but that kid felt the shame and humiliation pummelled into him by his father’s fists. Too ashamed of the way he turned out that he had to break someone down just to build himself back up again, not caring if that person was his own child. Your heart broke for the boy you barely knew, no one should ever have to go through that, it made you wonder how much he was hiding, how much he had to suffer in silence because that was all he was taught.

The boy who was sitting across from you in the booth was completely different from the person you use to hold a strong disliking for. For this Billy was charming, he was funny and you could see the ever present glimmers of the sensitive person you met a few nights ago. You felt this intriguing energy from him, pulling you in like a moth to a flame, you wanted to get to know him further, plus he was very easy on the eyes which certainly helped.

“We had O’Malley’s math class together’ you chuckled recollecting the very few memories you had together

“Oh god I hated O’Malley” Billy rolled his eyes, placing another fry into his mouth. “He gave me shit for no reason, he liked to make it apparent that I only just scraped a pass”

“That could be because you had a habit of taking naps in his class”

“Hey it’s not my fault his teaching sucked that much it sent me to sleep”

Billy was having an internal battle the entirety of the date, you saw him at his worse so it should be easy to allow him to let you in. But because of his upbringing he felt this urge to keep his guard up, not allowing you in because god forbid you ever see him that vulnerable again. He hates to admit it but for once in his life, he feels this small spark. There’s something about having someone see him, the true him, the sensitive broken inner self and not judge or pity him but just listen to him. That moment felt intimate and soothing, something he was never able to feel in all the parties or the girls he used to try and heal this part of himself that was taken away from him within the past month. All it took was a beautiful girl with a similar experience sitting across from him to realise that.

He use to roll his eyes whenever he heard the expression ‘butterflies in the stomach’, believing this to be stupid, how could anyone be this idiotic to allow themselves to let someone in. Now he knows how the butterflies felt, it felt scary and unfamiliar, he heard those rumours spread about him and the way his own father would make him believe that he is unworthy and undeserving to feel love. He tried to kill the butterflies that were frantically crashing into the his stomach lining, too scared if this spark turns into a flame.

God why did drunk Billy have to confide in you?

——————————————————————————-

“And my house is on the left”

“Well Goodnight princess” he flirtatiously smirked at you, leaning in close to seal the distance between you both

Fuck it! You grabbed Billy’s shoulders pulling him closer to you. Desperately kissing him, needing to feel more connection between your two bodies. This kiss was intense, your two lips fighting for dominance. You felt his tongue snaking it’s way into your mouth, exploring every part of it.

You groaned as his lips started to explore your neck, till he found that sweet spot just above your collar bone, you gasped as he gently bit down on the soft flesh.

“My mom isn’t in and my brother is at Mike’s. So do you want to take this inside?” You seductively suggested. This was not the way you planned this night to end, you planned on having a sweet innocent kiss Goodnight, but you definitely weren’t complaining about the direction this night turned.

——————————————————————————

Your eyes stung by the light blaring from the gaps within your curtains, fluttering your eyes open you saw billy inches away from you. You had to bite your lip from letting out a squeal of delight as you recalled last nights events, yes the sex was the best you ever had, but you actually felt the dangerous feeling of yearning creeping across your whole body as you watched him lay there.

He looked so peaceful, his breaths rhythmically flowing, his hair sprawled around the pillow framing his face in a messy blonde halo. You had to shut down the ever present thought of what would this be like to have this be your everyday? As you hated to admit this was the best you have slept in a while.

Nope! these thoughts are getting dangerous!

“Hey” you whispered, gently waking him up with a tender kiss to his forehead

“Good morning princess” he smiled, voice raspy from just waking up, he brought you close into a sweet kiss.

“Y/N, I need to- OH MY GOD!” Dustin froze in your doorway like a deer frozen in headlights. He definitely regretted not knocking first. He has literally seen a monster eat his cat but this was somehow the most traumatic thing he had the displeasure of witnessing.

“GET OUT!” You screamed in a mix of panic and embarrassment as the door was closed as quickly as it was opened, not before a pillow was thrown in his face by yours truly.

You cried out in embarrassment, burying your face in your hands as if they had the power to erase you from reality.

“It’s not funny” you cringed hearing Billy’s raucous outburst of laughter.

“Sorry princess” he laughed wiping away a stray tear, you rolled your eyes at him

“Haha, I’m glad that my pain is funny to you Hargrove. I’m never going to-“

You were cut off by Billy’s lips finding it’s place back upon yours, you couldn’t help but melt upon his kiss pulling him closer towards you.

Maybe this spark did turn into a flame and for once you both weren’t scared of the outcome

A/N: am I forgiven for making you all cry with the previous fic? I have more Billy fics on the way. I hope this fic was good, I’m super self critical lol

#stranger things billy #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove

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xxsksxxx · 7 months

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Liberating the Mirage

Summary:

When an assignment goes horribly wrong, Mulder has to race against time to find Scully.

But sometimes the line between reality and illusion blurs—and it turns out there’s more than one locked door that needs to be opened.

Notes:

This is my little contribution to Fictober, a yearly event that celebrates writing and reading—and fall. All of which are good things in my world.

Since there’s no way I can come up with a new story every day, I’ve decided to write one fic that includes all prompts from the Fictober 2023 prompt list. They’re all in bold if you want to seek them out specifically. You can find the list here: Fictober 2023

This story is complete, but to keep in the spirit of Fictober, I’m posting one chapter a day.

I hope you’ll have as much fun reading this fic as I had writing it.

AO3 | Start at the Beginning | @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023

Chapter 5: Illusions

Pearson Steel Corp., Washington D.C

Mulder slowly crept closer to the edge of the old factory. It felt oddly familiar, and Mulder realized with surprise that it had only been 18 hours since he had crept along a similar stone wall. It seemed like a lifetime ago—and this time Scully wasn't sitting in a van listening. She was inside here somewhere, and he didn't have any time to waste.

Mulder’s fingers sought the weight of Scully’s cross around his neck, the jagged edges cutting into his palm, serving as a sharp reminder that she was waiting for him to find her. He grabbed the cross tightly for a moment, recalling another painful time when she’d been missing, and he’d lost himself in a swirl of pain—her cross the only anchor that kept him alive.

He pulled the lock pick out of his jacket and looked around. He couldn't see anyone, nor did he notice any cameras. Expertly, he picked the lock and silently slipped inside.

The inside of the abandoned mill was dark and silent. The high ceiling echoed every sound, and he was glad he'd chosen sneakers before coming here. Mulder looked around, the large iron machines loomed like dark sentinels, not giving anything away.

He swiftly moved through the manufacturing hall, looking for a staircase or a basement where Scully could be held. The former offices appeared to be on one side of the hall, so he decided to head in that direction first. A large window opened to the hall at the top of a small iron stairway. Probably a foreman’s office from where the production could be overseen, he thought. Quietly, he climbed the stairs and cautiously opened the door. Another door on the other side of the office seemed to lead farther into the building, and a small sliver of light streamed from under the door.

Mulder took a breath to calm his racing heart, inhaling the musty scent of the old metal. The cold, damp air settled uncomfortably on his arms and face. Finally, he thought. Someone was here. He carefully approached the door, listening for any sounds.

He yanked the door open and stared right into the startled face of the tall man from the warehouse. This time he wasn't running, though. John Egan’s shock didn’t last, and Mulder’s sudden appearance propelled him into action, his hand jerking to the back of his pants, groping for his gun.

Mulder made a split-second decision, jumped forward, and tackled the taller man. Egan grunted in surprise when he was thrown to the floor.

“Freeze! Federal agent!” Mulder shouted, pressing with full force on the other man’s arms to prevent him from moving. His captive, however, wasn't deterred in the slightest and kept fighting. Mulder grunted with effort, as Egan tried to squirm out from under him, and pushed his entire body weight down on his opponent. John moaned in pain, but he had no choice but to stop resisting or risk breaking his arms. Mulder instantly pulled his handcuffs from his belt and shackled the man to the desk in the center of the large office.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Mulder panted. “I told you to stop moving! And if I find out you hurt her, this will be just the beginning,” he said forcefully, gritting his teeth. “Now, where is she?”

Egan didn’t respond.

Mulder leaned closer, his grip tight on the back of the mobsters’ shirt, their faces only inches apart. “I said, ‘Where is she!’,” Mulder yelled in the other man’s face and shoved him down onto the hard concrete floor, his shackled wrist bending up at an awkward angle.

John yelped in agony and nodded in the direction of the other door, his teeth tightly clenched. “She’s in the basement. Through that door, down the stairs, and through the first door.”

Mulder didn’t waste any time. He jumped up and ran down the stairs to the basement.

He came to a halt in front of a fire protection door and stopped to listen for any sounds. It was deathly silent in the small hallway. The key was sticking inside the lock, and Mulder unlocked the door and pulled it open.

The room appeared empty except for an old mattress lying on the floor in the back. Mulder squinted, trying to make out anything in the dark room. Just then, the heavy clouds outside parted and a beam of moonlight shone into the small basement window, casting a silvery glow over the room. There was a lump on the mattress, but he couldn’t make out any details.

He slowly moved closer, realizing it was a person. “Scully?” he called softly. “Scully, is that you?”

The lump moved and turned, and Mulder let out a sigh. It was her! He took two quick steps towards her and kneeled by her side.

With a metallic bang, the door slammed shut behind him. Mulder whirled around and ran back to it, twisting the handle.

“Locked! Dammit!” he slapped the metal with his hand. “Stupid. I fell right for his trap,” he leaned his forehead against the steel and took a deep breath, closing his eyes in frustration.

*****

Scully tried to focus on Mulder standing by the door. His outline swirled and came in and out of focus. Warily, she put her head back down on the mattress and closed her eyes. Another hallucination, she thought. “Mulder, are you close to finding me?” she murmured, more to herself than to the apparition in her cell. “I think you need to hurry. I don't know what he's injecting me with, but the next dose might be too much.”

Mulder raised his head and hurried over to her. He dropped to his knees next to her again and brushed a lock of her hair off of her face. “Scully? It's me. Are you okay?”

Scully smiled without opening her eyes. She rather enjoyed these hallucinations. They weren’t as good as the real thing, of course, but it all felt real enough. “I'm ok, Mulder. But I need your help. And you need to hurry. I want to get out of here.”

Mulder gave her a confused look. “Scully? Can you open your eyes?”

Scully groaned softly, turned her head in his direction, and slowly opened her eyes. Her fantasy Mulder was backlit by moonlight, his edges blurry.

Mulder sighed. “You're drugged. And I got us trapped,” he said warily. “I'm here, Scully. I need you to hold on a bit longer, though, okay?”

Scully tried to focus. “Are you really with me?” she asked, squinting. “Were you also here before? I saw you! Mulder, we need to get out of here! He drugged me!”

Mulder watched her with a concerned look. “No. It’s alright, I’m really here now.” He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

“He completely surprised me, Mulder,” Scully slurred, closing her eyes and putting her head down on the mattress again. “I have no idea how I could’ve let him surprise me like that.”

“It’s not your fault,” Mulder answered quietly and squeezed her fingers. “We shouldn’t have let him escape in the first place. If it was anyone’s fault, it was mine.”

Scully grunted. “Can’t you just let me blame myself for once, Mulder?” she asked indignantly, but her lips twitched in amusement. She squeezed his hand back in understanding.

“Did he hurt you, Scully?” he asked, checking anxiously in the dim light if he could make out any injuries.

Scully shook her head firmly. “No, not really. He injected me with something in the car, and the first thing I remember is waking up here. Where are we anyway?” She opened her eyes and gave looking at Mulder another try.

“It’s an old steel mill not far outside D.C., Connolly ratted everyone out and gave me the location—which reminds me, I’ve got something for you.” Mulder released her hand and put his hands behind his neck. Scully watched him curiously, trying to fight her blurry vision.

“What is it, Mulder?” she asked. He held his closed hand in front of her face and smiled.

“Okay, show me,” she demanded, grabbing his hand and opening it. “My cross!” she squealed, eagerly taking it out of his hand. She tried to put it around her neck, but her coordination was completely off.

Mulder carefully took the cross from her hands. “Here, let me. Can you turn around a bit?” he asked and fasted the chain around her neck.

Scully looked down at it and then back up to Mulder. “Thanks for returning it to me, Mulder,” she said softly, her eyes glittering in the moonlight. Thanks for looking for me, she added in her mind. And thanks for always finding me in time.

With a loud bang, the door flew open and crashed into the wall. John stood in the open door with a gun raised to Mulder's head. “Thought you'd tricked me? I'm not that stupid. I want the list. Now!” He angrily waved his gun.

“I don't have it,” Mulder said, slowly getting to his feet, and moving between the man and Scully who watched drowsily from the ground.

“Then get it! I don't care how,” Egan yelled, now waving his gun at Scully. “This bitch is drugged out of her mind and still won't tell me anything, and you're playing hard to get! You better give it to me, before anything happens.”

Mulder simply returned the man’s stare. “I can’t give you what I don’t have,” he explained calmly, raising his hands, palms up.

“Then I’d suggest you try harder and write down what you remember. And I’d try hard if I were you!” the man growled, throwing a pad and a pen in Mulder’s direction. “And don’t think I’m playing. I’ve got nothing to lose.” Mulder ducked to pick up the pen and pad, an inscrutable expression on his face.

“And while we’re at it, I assume you didn’t get here unarmed. Put your gun on the ground,” John sneered, pointing at the floor.

Mulder gritted his teeth and pulled his gun from the back of his jeans. He bent down and put it on the floor.

“Now kick it over here. Slowly! If you try to play any tricks on me, I’ll shoot her,” the man threatened, redirecting his gun to Scully who watched with heavy-lidded eyes.

Mulder kicked the gun in John’s direction and raised his hands again. “There’s no need for that. I’m not going to try anything,” he said soothingly.

Egan retrieved Mulder’s weapon, never taking his eyes off of him. He slowly stepped backward, his gun still aimed at Mulder. “I’ll be back in an hour. I suggest you come up with a list of names by then, or I guess I have to consider you useless to me. And I don’t tend to keep useless things around,” he said, his threats punctuated with the point of his gun.

John Egan backed out of the room, the door closing behind him with a bang.

***

Thank you so much for reading. You can also find this fic on AO3.

#xfiles #mulder and scully #xf fanfic #fictober23 #dana scully #fox mulder #the x files #msr #fictober event #fictober 2023 #xffictober #xffictober23 #i wrote this #Liberating the Mirage

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danceswithsporks · 1 year

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On the (very late! Look I’m trying here!) 11th day of Batchmas I gave to all of you!

Bogano and Boooglings!!

So this is gonna be Mina playing around with events and timelines and jazz. So, keep that in mind!

Now this will take place in the universe I’ve built for my fic A Star Above the Rest! Some may be sneak peaks at future events, little glimpses into past events, or things I wanted to do but couldn’t work into the story! I hope you all enjoy them and Happy Holidays!

Day 11 of 12 days of Batchmas- Bogano and Boglings

“Cal! Don’t go too far!” Zirena chewed her lip as her Padawan and Omega took off towards the many cliffs of the planet they now stood on. Off in the distance a Binog watched the children with interest as Boglings scurried away.

Wrecker reached over and squeezed her shoulder gently. “Don’t worry so much, Zee! Have some fun!”

Zirena watched as Cal flipped over one of the ledges before reaching out to help Omega. The female clone easily jumped the gap and the two high fives before running deeper into the mesas. He had his communicator if he got into trouble. Making a face, Zirena let BD down to the ground. “Make sure they stay out of trouble?”

BD whistled in agreement before taking off quickly after them.

“You really must give your padawan more leeway. He will be fine.” Master Fisto patted her back before adjusting the bag that hung over his shoulder.

“Easy for you to say.” Zirena sighed as she double checked she had her saber. “He’s not your padawan. He’s mine and I know the trouble he can get into.”

Kit chuckled and motioned for them to begin their track to the large mountain ahead of them. That’s where they’d find the vault they were looking for. “Come on, this is gonna take us a bit to deliver.”

“Are you sure this is a smart idea? Hiding something as important as this all the way out here?” Green eyes slid to the satchel that Fisto carried.

“I don’t like the idea either. But if what Cordova said was true….then we really should explore every avenue to protect these children.” No one else would believe Cordova besides himself and a small group of others. It was up to them to hide the holocron.

Making a face, Zirena nodded as she followed behind him. “The fall of the Jedi. It’s still hard to believe.”

-*-

“Woah! Cal! Look up!” Omega pointed to the ceiling where the large binog looked down at them inquisitively. “What do you think it’s called?”

A chirp from behind them alerted them to BD now running over excitedly. Scanning the large beast he chittered information to Cal and Omega.

“A binog? How cool!” Cal raised his hand up towards the beast, wishing he could touch it.

The Binog looked at the two small children with interest. He wasn’t sure what these little things were, but he liked them. Leaning his face down farther he allowed the red furred one to pat his nose. Oh now he really liked that. With a huff he turned and looked at the yellow furred one. It’s eyes went wide and hesitantly raised its hand to pet him as well.

Omega couldn’t believe she was touching this giant beast! “BD! Take a picture!”

BD whirled and ran farther from them to get everything in frame. After snatching the photo he chittered excitedly.

“You know, I bet if Master Kenobi was here he’d be able to get the Binog to let us ride it.” Cal carefully ran his hand over the brown fur of the beast, impressed with how soft it was.

“That would be the coolest!” Omega really liked the big beast, it was sweet.

Back towards the entrance, BD beeped excitedly, ready to show the kids more things. From his scan of the planet there were a lot of cool places to check out.

Cal sighed and gently patted the Binog. “Looks like that’s our cue to go.” Stepping away from the beast, Cal reached over and took Omegas hand. Together the two left the small gorge they were in and moved to explore more of the planet.

-*-

“Umm…when Master Cordova told you about this vault. Did he mention to you that it would be a very tight squeeze?” How in the galaxy was she supposed to fit through this gap?

Kit chuckled as he watched Zirena stare at the opening. “Well, if you didn’t have such a nice rack and an ass sculpted by the Force itself. Maybe this would be easier.”

Zirena rolled her eyes. “Well, they’re not going anywhere so what’s the plan?”

“We could strip and then lube you up.” Kit wiggled his eyes at her.

“Cause that’s totally the way we should go.” Placing her hands on her hips, Zirena made a face before stepping forward and beginning to slowly wiggle her way through the opening.

“Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.” Moving next to her, he helped push her through. How in the world did Master Cordova squeeze through this? Maybe there was a backdoor somewhere?

“Stars, this is amazing!” Never had she seen such an impressive place. “ Think of the historic implications of this place. What we could learn about early force users!”

“It’s certainly impressive.” Kit pulled the holocron from his bag and looked at it. This would be where they’d hide it. Safe and secured in this place only they and Cordova knew about. Their mission was a secret, their flight paths went unrecorded and their frequencies scrambled. Until they were far away there would be no contact with anyone either. This was right.

Zirenas emerald eyes looked at the holocron as Kit slid it carefully into the slot on the floor. “I hope it never comes to this. Scrambling to the edge of the Galaxy for the last list of force sensitives.” Visibly she shivered at the thought of the order falling.

“We’ll do whatever it takes to prevent that. Did you do what Cordova asked?” With a soft click the holocron vanished into the ground.

“Yeah. BDs emergency protocol has been updated. He knows what to do.” She didn’t like all of this secrecy, especially from her padawan. Her Padawan, he’d be at risk if something happened as well.

“You’ve trained him well, I’ve seen it. He’ll be ok if something happens.” To know this was something that had to even discuss was nerve wracking. But it was a necessary discussion.

“I hope so. For all the worry I give, he’s at least very responsible. I know that if we were to be separated he’d survive.” She had faith in her Padawan. He had a good head on his shoulder.

-*-

“Not. A. Word.” Cal sighed as he stood up from the muddy bog he’d fallen into. Up the slope he’d fallen down, Omega was giggling. “Master is gonna kill me. I promised her I’d stay clean this time.” It wasn’t really his fault that he’d slipped down the slope, right?

Omega looked around for some kind of vine or rope to help the padawan out of the marsh he was in. She’d get a scolding from Tech and Crosshair if she came back filthy. “Can’t you like…Jedi jump out of there or something?” She’d seen Zirena get out of worse situations.

Groaning, Cal fell back into the marsh before laying in the mud and accepting his fate. “That’s next week in training.” If he’d live long enough to see it. Zirena was going to be disappointed in him for getting so dirty.

A noise next to him drew his attention and turning his head, Cal watched as a weird bunny-like creature hopped towards him. It’s large black eyes stared at him as it’s nose twitched quickly. It looked so fluffy. Reaching out his muddy hand to the beast, Cal hoped it would let him pet it.

“I wonder what it’s called.” Omega stretched her neck to try and see the creature. Her hand gripped the edge of the slope for balance but it seemed a certain droid had a better plan. Gasping in surprise, Omega tumbled down the slope and landed with a loud plop next to Cal. The little creature jumped away for a moment before carefully creeping close once more.

Cal laughed loudly at Omega, a large glob of mud colored her hair from blonde to dark brown. “Now we’ll both get in trouble!”

Now that looked like fun! With a loud whistle, BD dove off the slope and into the mud as well. He chittered a few times while recording all of them. This would be fun to show Zirena later!

“BD, No!” Cal knew for a fact he’d be the one to have to clean the droid now. He watched the droid jump in place excitedly for a moment before scanning the creature from earlier.

The droid trilled off information to the two children and Omega smiled at the new knowledge. “A Bogling! It’s so cute!” She wondered if she could keep it? If she asked Wrecker he’d totally let her. “So they dig burrows and lay eggs! That’s really cool!”

“A group of them is called a Heckle. That’s a pretty funny name.” Cal smiled as the boggling pressed it’s nose into his hand. Oh, it was soft! “You know. I bet my Master would let me keep it! Her apartment is big enough!”

“Think so! That would be so cool!” Omega moved to stand up but slipped on the mud beneath her feet. Squeaking loudly she felt something pull her and suddenly she was on top of Cal. The two kids stared at each other before hearing a noise behind them. “BD, No!”

“Did he just…take another picture?” Cal stared daggers at the droid. Omega nodded above him and they both swallowed. “As long as he doesn’t send it to anyone. I think we’ll be ok.”

Send it to someone? Oh that would be brilliant! Maybe his master? Oh what about Captain Rex? He got it! With another few trills he sent the picture to Fives and Echo. They’d get a laugh out of it!

Cals eyes went wide at the sound of the trills. “He just sent it.”

Omega jumped away from Cal as she gasped. “To who?”

Oh that wasn’t going to be good. “Echo and Fives.”

“Echo?” She was dead! More than dead, she was history!

BD wasn’t sure why they were so upset, he liked the picture!

“We need to get out of here and hope Echo hasn’t seen the picture yet!” Cal struggled to stand up in the slippery mud. They needed to get back to the ship before they got in trouble.

Omega pushed herself off the ground once more and carefully shuffled her way towards the slope they’d fallen down. “Maybe if we move slowly we can get up this?” They just needed something to grab onto. Beside her the Bogling chittered before bouncing by them and easily up the slope. Omega sighed as she slid back down. “Show off.”

-*-

Chewing her lip impatiently, Zirena paced back and forth outside the Marauder. “Where is he?” Her padawan still wasn’t back yet and this place was littered with cliffs and deep holes. They could be stuck somewhere for all she knew!

“You remind me of Master Windu when you went missing on Coruscant.” Kit leaned back against the ship and sipped his tea slowly. “He was absolutely terrified you’d fallen down a shaft somewhere.”

“This isn’t the same! I was hiding from him because I lost my saber. Cal could be in trouble! Stuck in a hole or or or cornered by a beast or…” her hands flailed as she continued to worry.

Kit chuckled as he stepped away from the ship.“Or riding a Binog caked in mud with Omega holding a Bogling and BD leading the charge?”

“Yeah! Or riding a…” wait, that was extremely specific. Turning around, Zirena sighed as she watched her padawan sheepishly wave to her. “Cal, I’m going to need a lot of answers.” Pinching the bridge of her nose, she questioned her sanity.

The Binog carefully relaxed into the ground near the ship while letting out a long breath. Cal carefully slid off the great beast before turning and offering a hand up to Omega. “Pass Pickles down?”

“Pickles?” Kit walked over and used the force to lower both Omega and the bogling down. “And who is pickles?” He chuckled as BD ran across his shoulders before running to Zirena.

“It’s the name of our bogling!” Omega smiled at the Jedi before nudging Cal. “Ask her.”

Zirena raised an eyebrow as she stepped towards the two, her arms crossed. “Ask me what? My little padawan?”

Oh, that was the tone she used when she wasn’t happy with him. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to ask. Another nudge from Omega had him swallowing before finally asking. “Master? Can we keep Pickles?”

Beside her, Master Fisto had excused himself to laugh very loudly behind her. There was no way he was keeping it. She watched as Cal nudged Omega back and the blonde held the bogling up towards her. It’s little nose wiggling at her. “Cal, Omega. It belongs here, in its natural environment.” It’s little eyes blinked at her a few times. Be strong, she couldn’t give in.

“There is the Coruscant Menagerie. They’re always looking for new specimens.” Kit had finally composed himself and had rejoined the conversation. “We could take the little guy back with us and send him there.”

“The menagerie?” Wasn’t that the place with all of the caged animals? Cal turned and looked at Omega, the corner of his lip in his mouth. “Umm, maybe my master is right.”

Omega sighed as she placed the little creature down. “Yeah, it wouldn’t exactly be fair to pickles,huh?”

Kit nudged Zirena with a smirk. Leaning over he whispered to her. “Works every time.”

Squinting as she stared at the little creature, a realization hit her. “Wait, you said the same thing to me three years ago when I tried to get Master Windu to let me keep that baby eopie!”

“Stopped you from getting it, didn’t I?” He was a pro at talking Younglings out of unnecessary pets. Now if he could just talk Bly out of collecting rocks from every planet they went to. Maybe he had a blind spot when it came to his clone?

Rolling her eyes, Zirena knelt in front of the two younglings. “It’s very wise of you to release him back. I’m sure he has a family that’s worried about him. You know they mate for life, right?”

Omega sighed as she watched the bogling hop away. “I’m gonna miss him.”

A noise from the Marauder drew the group's attention. “I know one way you kids can remember him.” Echo crossed the field to the group and passed Zirena his datapad. His eyes shooting daggers at Cal.

Zirena snorted out a laugh as she passed the datapad to Kit. It was a cute picture of Cal and Omega in the mud. Omega leaning over Cal with a shocked expression and the Bogling watching the two with a head tilt. She liked it, maybe she’d frame it? “Do I want to know?”

Cal shook his head and quickly tried to rush by them, red creeping across his cheeks. “Come on Omega. Let’s go give BD a bath!” He def didn’t want to talk about it.

Both Jedi shared a laugh as Cal stopped in front of Echo for a moment, before sheepishly waving and then sprinting off to the ship. Zirena watched as Echo turned to say something, reaching out she used the force to pull him back. “Relax, big brother. Cal knows better.”

Echo smirked as he looked over his shoulder at Zirena. “Not Cal I’m worried about. Don’t forget, Zee. Omega grew up around clones.”

Oh. Oh! With an inhale Zirena moved quickly after the Younglings. “Cal!”

#merry bad batchmas #tbb echo #tbb wrecker #kit fisto #baby cal kestis #cal kestis #tbb omega #bd 1 #bogano #bogling #binog #damn kids and their mud #Star Wars #clone wars #bad batch fic #clone wars fic #clone wars oc #fic update

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moon-ursidae · 1 year

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it’s time for session #2!

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BOTH OF THE LAST OF US GAMES UNDER THE CUT!!!!

these notes are so scattered if you read them without context and i am SO SORRY lmao. i’m typing them so fast trying to keep up with my brain that’s going 700 mph and the game. ANYWAY, we’re getting a very late start tonight bc i was helping my friend learn guitar for a few hours haha

total play time: about 2 hrs and 40 min (there’s not much story progression here just exploring seattle!)

okay so we last left off with ellie and dina in the woods on horseback post joel’s house. i have not gotten farther than the woods bc i was super ultra mega tired. so let us continue!

okay sooooo this section is called the gate cool cool cool

this is fucking gorgeouuusssssss

omg dina listing off all the people that joel crossed

i’m sure there’s more before that bro

oh my god the LIGHTINGGGGG in the woods so so good

we’re so close to seattle i’m scared

so much happens here man

map acquired✅

CARD BABYYYYYY

jesus christ i L O V E the aesthetic of nature reclaiming land and man made structures. it’s sooooooo pretty

oh shit QZ!

i’m looking through ur journal ellie hope you don’t mind haha

dina seems to be sick? well. i know why but ellie doesn’t yet so shhhhhh

it’s so sad to me that every drawing of joel so far that ellie’s done, she hasn’t been able to draw his eyes. that was the last thing she saw of him while he was alive. like she wants to get them just right but everytime she draws it that means she has to look him in the eye again. and maybe she’s feeling too guilty to do that rn. ugh idk i know neil always does shit like that but maybe i’m reading too much into it haha. ANYWAY that is one of the most heartbreaking parts about her journal dude. UUUUGGHHHHH 😭

“i really love her.” 😭😭😭😭 ELLIE TELL HER PLEASE

we just got a letter, wonder who it’s from🕺🏻

kieran?? kieran duffy??????

haha wrong game

also lemme just say, i fucking love dina

she’s so sweet and empathetic, but will cut the fuck out of a bitch when needed

I HAVE TO PARKOUR?? UP HIGH?? IN THE LAST OF US?? OVER A GATE??

this is some nathan drake shit bro where’s nolan north

FUUUUUCK I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA FALL BRO OH MY GOD

hoooooollllyyyyyy fuuuuuuck this is a big city jesus christ

LMAO her wobble before she fell down to the platform below

this game is so gorgeous. holy fuckin shit i’m gonna say that a lot huh?

THE SOUND DESIGN??? WHEN GOING DOWN THE LOOKOUT TOWER AT THE GATE OF THE QZ??? WHEN SHE FALLS AND IT ECHOES?? THAT SHIT WAS CRAZYYYY

guys i’m gonna be honest. i’m team brick.

i LOVE being able to break windows this is so fun

oh god i have a horrible memory plz don’t make me memorize these gate codes

side note: i love ellie’s hair here. i’m gonna have to try a lil half up half down situation

i saw someone on twitter point out that it looks a lot like tess’s hair🥺

“well, we believe in you” shimmer and dina? or baby and dina? hmmm things to consider

totally unrelated, but i can’t not hear ashley johnson going “babyyyyyyyyy” with an s.o. since the mighty nein reunion lmao

ellie seeing dina and going “babyyyyyyyy” like yasha LMAO

ANYWAY

fuck i hope i can pull out that page of codes dude

THANK GOD

oh shit another hotel

i’m traumatized after the last on dude you can’t make me go back

H O L Y. S H I T.

THIS IS SO OPEN I’M GONNA SPEND SOOOOOOOO MUCH TIME HERE

FUCK DUDE

this is fucking crazy

there’s so much small shit everywhere oh my fucking G O D

omg joel was definitely reading that space book for ellie she just talked about an early moon mission at this tank

DINA’S JOKE “she’s sounding a bit hoarse” they’re literally made for each other

OH MY GOD I JUST FOUND THE DR. UCKMANN CARD NO FUCKING SHOT

damn is this his way of addressing the crunch work hours at naughty dog?

“once a well respected researcher… questionable experiments in the realm of pushing human limits saw him ostracized from the scientific community… Laurent Foucault of SPARK Laboratories found his work dubious…”

the music is hauntingly beautiful in this area oh my god

OH MY GOD THE SCANNERS THAT DETECT THE VIRUS FROM THE BOSTON QZ IN THE FIRST GAME

i miss the first game LMAO even though i JUST finished that

THERE’S A FUCKING PEARL JAM POSTER IN THE MUSIC SHOP😭

IF I EVER WERE TO LOSE YOU, I’D SURELY LOSE MYSELF😭

i feel like this is supposed to be hank williams which would be fucking sick bc “alone and forsaken” and all that jazz haha

“guitars starting at $49.99” BRO SINCE WHEN I FUCKING WIIISH DUDE😭

as a drummer, i can confirm dina is a fucking natural

“i love you?” A H H H H H

ANUTHA CARD WOOO

Das Wort is my favorite card so far. he just like me fr

WAIT THIS IS THE TAKE ON ME SCENE

i will cry

SHE’S PLAYING FUTURE DAYS😭😭😭😭

BARRE CHORDS??? ellie i could literally never wtf

the chords are all accurate too holy fuck naughty dog

ashley has such a nice voice oh my god

i’m gonna fucking cry bc they put this in the hbo trailer

AAAAHHHHHHH😭😭

this is why i fucking love music dude. it transcends everything and always will. it’s the one thing that connects everyone. and it’s connecting people in this game too and i UGGHHH i love music holy fuck

the way dina looks at her🥹

and also knowing that joel was the one that showed her all of these songs and artists bc ellie wasn’t even alive to hear take on me and future days, and literally everything else. GOOOOODDDDDDDD😭😭

“you should have kissed me then.” “i wanted to.”

god i love dina and ellie they sound like an old married couple already

first dawn of the wolf poster i’ve seen!!! WOOOOO

i’m gonna come back to the nutrition distribution center bc i feel like that shit is gonna be bad news bears

“wasn’t joel all about coffee?” as he should. i’d be all about coffee too if i didn’t have it for years

ANUTHA CAAAARD

i really like the Big Blue card too

THAT FUCKING INFECTED IN THE BATHROOM SCARED THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY OH MY GOD

so many fucking side quests oml what do you mean “barko’s”

oh my god there are so many fucking alleyways to go down

THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO I AM SO BUSY FINDING SECRETS AND STUFFS

BARKO’S LOCATED

it’s too dark in here i don’t like it

“they think we’re sheep! BARE YOUR FANGS.” what in the fuckin trump train “sHeEpLe” is goin on in here

i feel like i’m gonna get fucking jumped by infected again in here

THIGH HOLSTER ACQUIRED

omg plz “we can get a little creature to take care of” AND THEN THEY HAVE A FARM AT THE END😭😭😭

STUN BOMB ACQUIRED

i have already spent 2 hours in this fucking QZ holy shit

i just wanna explore rn i don’t wanna progress story atm

i am secret hunting

ANUTHA CARD BABYYY WEST GATE 2

it doesn’t even look like i’ve done that much😭

i also have a bad feeling about this bank

oh fuck this shit. it goes underground

they are ALWAYS underground bro

dina this is not cool, this is scary

i don’t fucking trust this shit

HOW DID I FUCKING KNOW

infected or whateva🙄

SHOTGUN ACQUIRED

FUCK this bank dude i’m GONE

dina said she’d get a farmhouse with the money😭😭

okay i think i’m gonna stop here bc it is literally 5am and i am sleepy haha. no story! but got some goodies and secrets out of the way! i will continue maybe tomorrow? not sure bc i am quite busy but we’ll see!

having a really good time so far and i love watching ellie and dina’s dynamic! still lots of buildings and secrets to loot! i’m excited >:)

#the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #the last of us spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #the last of us #tlou part ii spoilers #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou spoilers #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #tlou #mads plays the last of us!🌿#mads plays the last of us part ii!🍃

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012345678910111213141501 · 1 month

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Reminiscences and Reflections

STORY 1 Tumblr Blog Title: Fragments of Memory

The last time I saw her, it was a brief and vivid moment which was permanently imprinted in the recesses of my recollection. It was a dark evening, with orange and pink hues painting the sky, reflecting my inner turmoil. She positioned herself at the boundary of the platform, her outline contrasting with the scenery of trains departing in the background.

We had spent innumerable times together there, beneath the ancient clock tower's guarded gaze, its hands indicating the passing of intangible moments. But things weren't the same this time. The weight of the approaching farewell was palpable this time.

Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears as she turned to face me, reflecting my own feelings exactly. The cacophony of voices buzzed through the platform, but for that instant, all I could hear was the deafening silence of our unsaid words.

"I'll miss you," she said in a whisper that was hardly audible over the sound of the approaching train.

I wanted to cling to her, to seize this fleeting moment, and never let go. However, life has a terrible way of tearing us apart, much like two ships that are meant to sail in different oceans.

With a final call resonating throughout the station, the train screeched to a stop. I watched her board, her figure vanishing into the sea of faces, with a heavy heart. And she was gone in an instant.

I clung to the shards of our shared moments, though, even as the train moved away and took her away from me. The tears, the laughter, and the whispered promises lingered in the back of my mind, unable to be forgotten.

I found myself following the traces of our past love as it faded away in the days that followed. I strolled down the same streets where we used to go hand in hand, hoping to see her recognizable smile. However, the city didn't change and didn't care that my chest hurt. She was no longer simply a part of my present, but rather a memory of a past I would never be able to reclaim, as the days grew into weeks.

Nevertheless, as time moved me farther away from that moment on the platform, I clung to the hope that our paths would eventually cross again—somewhere, in a far-off part of the globe.

Keep checking back as we add more memories and transmedia content to this blog.

Title: Living in a Fragments of Memory Author: Feedia URL: https://medium.com/@feedia/living-in-a-fragments-of-memory-3058e573e22

Title: Pieces Fall into Place Author/Artist: Fragments of Memories URL: https://fragmentsofmemories.bandcamp.com/album/pieces-fall-into-place

STORY 2

Tumblr Blog Title: Paws and Memories

My memories of the last time I saw him are ingrained in my soul and continue to cause me emotional distress. It was a bright afternoon with dappled patterns on the lush green grass in our backyard caused by golden sunlight penetrating through the tree canopy. His eyes reflected the love and loyalty that had characterized our relationship as he lay there, his fur gleaming in the sunlight. Max was my devoted friend who had supported me through all of life's highs and lows. Numerous experiences had been had by us, including playdates in the park and leisurely afternoons spent curled up on the sofa. But as the years went by, time had its effect, and his previously limitless energy started to fade. Nothing could have prepared me for the depth of grief that overcame me as I watched him struggle to stand up, even though I knew that our time together was almost over. He was no longer the lively puppy he once was; instead, his movements were laborious and slow. Even so, there was a quiet dignity about him that belied his frailty and revealed the depth of his spirit. I was kneeling next to him and caressing his fur as I felt the weight of what was about to happen bear down on me. When a friend has been your joy, your confidant, and your constant companion, how do you say goodbye? Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I whispered words of love and gratitude, my voice choked with emotion. His eyes were full of understanding as he looked up at me, almost as if he were telling me it was alright to let go and that our relationship would last long after this life on Earth. I took him into my arms with trembling hands, holding him close one last time, memorizing every hair on his furry face. And knowing that he would always have a particular place in my heart, I felt at ease as I pressed my cheek against his fur. I realized it was time to say goodbye as the sun began to set and the world began to glow in shades of orange and pink. His weight served as a physical reminder of the depth of our connection as I carried him to the car with a heavy heart. And knowing that my dear friend would always be a part of me and a treasured memory that would reverberate in the depths of my heart, I silently prayed for him as we drove away, leaving behind the comfortable sights and sounds of home.

Stay tuned for more reflections and transmedia elements to be added to this blog.

Title: Golden Retriever Publisher: Daily Paws URL: https://www.dailypaws.com/dogs-puppies/dog-breeds/golden-retriever

Title: Surf Photographer Ben Moon's Tribute to His Dying Dog Publisher: SLR Lounge URL: https://www.slrlounge.com/surf-photographer-ben-moons-tribute-to-his-dying-dog/

STORY 3

Tumblr Blog Title: Echoes of Friendship

When I last saw her, it was like a moment captured in time, a memory of a friendship that had persevered through life's ups and downs. It was a cool autumn morning, with a hint of nostalgia and the smell of fallen leaves in the air. She was standing there, a ray of warmth in the chilly weather thanks to her contagious smile.

She was not just a friend; she was also my confidante, my crime-solving partner, and my support system during difficult times. We had bonded through secrets, dreams, laughter, and tears that went beyond simple friendship.

However, as fate would have it, life had other ideas and was drawing us in different directions every day. And as we stood there, looking at each other, I realized how fleeting and precious this moment was—like the last rays of sunlight before dusk falls.

With a soft but melancholic voice, she said, "I'll miss you." I nodded, not knowing how to put into words how deeply I felt. How do you say goodbye to someone who has supported you through difficult times and been a constant in your life?

We hugged and held on to one another like we were trying to float atop the impending wave of change. Her embrace was a silent vow to always keep our friendship close to her heart, no matter where she goes. And then it was time to part ways, far too soon. We shared a final glance and a silent exchange of unsaid words and memories. I felt a part of my heart leave with her as she walked away and vanished into the crowd.

I found myself walking in our footsteps again in the days that followed, comforting myself with the warmth of our shared moments and the echoes of our laughter. However, despite my best efforts, I was unable to get rid of the lingering sense of emptiness that her absence left behind.

However, I clung to the hope that our friendship would endure despite our growing distance from one another—a ray of hope amid the uncertainty. Her presence would always linger in the recesses of my heart, despite the fact that she was no longer by my side—a testament to the enduring power of genuine friendship.

And as I saw her fade into the distance, I realized that our friendship would endure no matter where life took us—a testament to the beauty of friendship in all its forms.

Watch this space for additional reflections and transmedia features coming soon to this blog.

Title: Friendship Stock Photos Publisher: Adobe Stock URL: https://stock.adobe.com/ca/search?k=friendship

Title: Friendship Stock Photos Publisher: Adobe Stock URL: https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=friendship

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lshark-cs · 7 months

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Iron God Chapter 19 [Kolo]

Kolo fidgeted with her necklace. As she twisted the cord around her fingers, she wondered who had given her the talisman to begin with. It hadn't always been hers, surely. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice Azvalath calling her name until he elbowed her.

She recoiled. "Hey!"

"What's got you so distracted?" Azvalath cocked his head. "We're almost there. Don't space out now."

"Um...the lift was terrifying." She looked back at the mountain looming behind them. "I don't ever want to do that again."

The man shrugged. "Would you rather scale that hell of a slope on foot?"

"Not in the slightest." Kolo's eyes lit up as a flurry of snow blew over them. "Where are we headed, exactly? Isn't the Wash a pretty big village?"

"More of a town. Largest human community that currently exists." Azvalath tightened a strap on his backpack. "Because no one will be in the town hall this late at night, we're headed for the only place that's ever awake at this hour."

Kolo raised an eyebrow. "Where would that be?"

"Naughty Nack's." Azvalath pulled his hood down farther over his face. "I'm sorry in advance. It's a rather...odd establishment." He looked down, then stopped and crouched. "Speaking of nacks, take a look here."

Kolo crouched next to him. An animal's footprints showed through the falling snow. "Looks like horse tracks."

"Look closer." Azvalath traced his finger along the track. "See how it's a little more pointed here? Wait, hold on a second. What are those?" He looked to one side. "Those are wheel tracks."

"Someone drives a nack?" Kolo couldn't imagine how that would be a good idea. "Don't nacks eat people?"

"They eat fish and carrion, mostly." He looked back out at the horizon. "Town's a long way. Think it's worth seeing if we can hitch a ride?"

Kolo shrugged. "I mean, it'd be nice, but – hey, wait up!" She had to take of running after Azvalath.

The tracks went a long way, so long that Kolo wondered if it were even worth the detour. Eventually, she started to catch whiffs of smoke. They came to a rocky riverbank. The smoke turned out to have come from a nearly-dead campfire. There was a covered wagon parked a short ways from the water. A rope extended from a picket and disappeared under the water. As she and Azvalath approached, the red light from their eyes reflected from another pair of eyes just below the surface.

With barely a sound, the horselike predator emerged from the river. Its mane and halter dripped water. It made a click-clack sound in its jaw and then opened its mouth wide, too wide, revealing sharp teeth. It let out a long and high-pitched cry.

"Hey, what's the fuss?" A woman's voice called from the wagon. "You'll wake half the world keening so loud." She stepped out and beckoned the animal closer.

Azvalath darkened his eyes. "Put your snow goggles on, Kolo," he whispered. Then he cleared his throat. "Sorry to be a bother, madam, but..."

Kolo put her goggles on before the woman saw the red glow. "How do you drive a nack?" She blurted the question before Azvalath could finish.

"Ashcrow is such a dear, I forget she's a predator sometimes." She patted the nack's pale head. "What do you two need? Not like I've got much to spare with seven children."

"Seven?" Azvalath's eyebrows rose. "Never mind. Sorry to bother you. We'll be on our way."

He turned and was about to leave when the woman spoke up again. "That girl looks awfully familiar, sir."

"Me?" Kolo shrugged. "Why would I look familiar?"

"That's my sister. I don't think any of us have ever met." Azvalath grabbed Kolo's arm and pulled her away. "Sorry. We really didn't mean to bother you. Safe travels."

Azvalath took off running again. Kolo nearly fell trying to keep up with him. They must have run a full mile before they stopped. She fell to her hands and knees, gasping to catch her breath. "What was that all about?"

"Forget that ever happened." Azvalath panted and wiped sweat off his face. "And let's hope we can avoid her from now on. I think she's onto us."

"For what?" Kolo put her hands on her hips. "And since when am I your sister?"

"Look, I said what I had to." Azvalath put his head in his hands. "If she's from where I think she's from, that's going to be a problem. Let's keep going. We're getting close."

He kept walking. For a moment, Kolo stayed where she was. She looked around at the dark valley, then up at the sky. A full moon shone through the clouds. Snow fell on her face and settled on her goggles. In that moment, she considered not following Azvalath. Why should she follow him, anyway? There was a whole world out there.

The man turned around when he noticed she wasn't coming. "Kolo, what's the matter?"

She bit her lip. "Nothing."

"Come on, then." He waved his arm.

Kolo went with him. She wasn't entirely sure why.

She especially wasn't sure why she had chosen to follow him when they arrived at their destination. Though they had passed by many houses, this was the first one that wasn't silent. Raucous laughter and shouting filled her ears even before the building came into view. She lifted her snow goggles up for a second and let her eyes cast their light across a sign hanging over the door. Naughty Nack's. Below the nameplate was a painting of a nack drinking out of a mug.

Azvalath went up to the door. "I'm sorry in advance," he told her, then gave the door three hard knocks.

The door swung open with a screech on its rusty hinges. The laughter and yelling inside poured out and nearly deafened her. A man with the stature of a tree branch greeted them. "Hey there. What the hell are you doing? You know you can just come right in."

Azvalath crossed his arms. "Isn't it polite to knock?"

A much larger man shoved the twiggy-looking one out of the way. "Why, if it's not the First Sword of Styzia himself. Where've you been, Azvalath? Out on some grand adventure?"

Azvalath scoffed. "Just some field work. I'd rather not talk about it."

"That's what you always say, big man. Now get in here and stop freezing your pants off out there." He laughed and yanked Azvalath inside.

Kolo watched her companion scramble, and the sound of her laughter alerted the huge stranger to her presence. She froze up when he looked at her.

"Ey, I don't bite, dear." He smiled with teeth that were mostly broken. "Naughty Nack's wouldn't still be open if I did. Welcome in." He grabbed her by the arm and tugged her inside, slamming the door behind her.

Kolo yelped, smacked him off her, and made him holler with the force of her blow. "Hey, Azvalath, what the hell's your little friend's big deal?"

He stepped up and pulled the two of them apart. "My apologies. She's a little rough around the edges. New to the pack and all. You know how it is." He locked eyes with her. "Kolo, let's just try to get a room. Well, two rooms if you'd like space, but it's probably better if we don't hang out down here."

"No can do, Azvalath. Didn't you see the sign? No vacancy!" The big man, whom Kolo assumed had to be the establishment's owner, tapped his foot on the stained floor. "Or did I forget to change the sign?"

"It never said 'no vacancy.'" Kolo's voice cracked mid-vacancy.

"Well, then you can pardon me for thinking we'd have a place to rest." Azvalath scowled at the owner. "Can't someone leave?"

"First come, first serve, even if you're Styzian, pal." The owner clapped Azvalath's shoulder and made fall forward a bit. "That being said, I imagine the polite gentleman who booked Room Four might be willing to have some company."

Kolo watched Aza's face turn bright red.

"I'm kidding. You want a drink?" He scratched his beard, then shouldered his way through the crowd and toward the cupboard.

"Just ignore Mr. Nack. He's a pain." Azvalath put his head in his hands. "It's too loud in here."

Kolo looked around to see where Mr. Nack had gone. He seemed like a safe person. She ended up stepping on a woman's foot. "Hey! Watch where you're going, kid."

"I'm sorry!" Kolo yelped, but the woman was already occupied with someone else. Whatever she said led to an eruption of laughter. Kolo covered her ears. Aza was right about this place being too loud. She stumbled to the other side of the room and bumped into a table in the corner. Kolo took a step back and noticed a young man sitting there. His golden-blond hair fell over his face in a way that annoyed her in an instant. She wanted to fix his hair but remembered something vague about keeping her hands to herself. Did that mean all of her hands? What if she were to use an invisible one?

"Can I help you?" the man asked.

Kolo shook her head. "Nope."

"You're staring at me," he pointed out.

Kolo averted her eyes.

"Staring at the table isn't much better." He brushed his hair out of his face. "Hey, I saw you came in with Azvalath. That's him, right? I've heard so many stories." The young man got a dreamy look in his eyes. "Styzia's best and greatest..."

"Best and greatest mean the same thing." She went back to staring at him. "And he's not. The masters are."

The man sighed. "What's your problem?"

Kolo folded her arms. "I don't have a problem."

He glanced over at Azvalath, who looked like he was trying and failing to turn down Mr. Nack's offer of a drink. "You picked some damn fine company." He got that dreamy expression again. "Must be nice."

"It's not." She said it matter-of-factly.

"Well, I still don't know what your problem is, but I know I'd love it if Azvalath there so much as looked my way." The young man smiled. "By the way, why are you wearing snow goggles inside?"

Without much thought, Kolo pulled them off.

"You're a Ferash Therall too? Lucky." He leaned back in his chair. "I can't be one. I don't have gods' blood or whatever it is you need. I'd love it if I could work alongside Azvalath and all the rest of you every day."

Kolo grimaced. This was getting strange fast. She was about to walk away when she noticed Azvalath approaching. Great, she thought. Fantastic. It was about to get even more awkward.

"You've got the right idea, escaping the crowd." Azvalath rubbed his eyes. When he noticed the other man, he cocked his head. "Making friends, Kolo?"

The young man flushed. "Azvalath? First Sword of Styzia?" He looked awestruck. "I'm Staffen. I'm actually on the town council, so if there's anything you need, anything at all, I can..."

"Aren't you a bit young?" Azvalath straightened his dark brown hair. "And about that, Master Xigon asked me to deliver this to the town council." He pulled a sealed envelope from his pocket.

"Youngest on the council." Staffen smiled wide. "Doesn't mean I'm not qualified. Should I read this now, or at the next meeting?"

Aza shrugged. "It's just a quarterly report."

Kolo found herself uninterested in hearing any more of the conversation, so she wandered off and tried to find someone who seemed to be having a more interesting conversation.

"Hey, I heard you got a new horse. What's his name?"

No, not interesting.

"Can't get my son to fix the leaking roof."

Tedious.

"I'm telling you girls love men with scars and stories."

Not in the slightest.

"I heard there's a new arrival at Styzia. Been a while, hasn't it?"

That caught Kolo's attention. She stopped and listened. Two women – at least, she assumed they were both women – sat at a table with only one chair. One was in the chair, and the other perched on top of the table like a cat.

"Ami, for goodness's sake, get off the table already." The one in the chair prodded the one on the table. "See? That person's staring at us."

Kolo looked away. "Sorry, am I being rude?"

"No, Ami's being rude." The one in the chair stood up and pushed Ami off the table. Everyone who saw it laughed. Ami got up with an indignant grunt. Then the laughter went dead silent as a scream erupted from the corner where she'd left Azvalath. Staffen screamed at the top of his lungs. It was a bloodcurdling sound of pure terror, then she heard someone fall. Then the whole place lost its voice.

Kolo couldn't see what was happening over everyone else in the room, but she heard the woman from the riverbank speak up. "I thought I knew you from somewhere, sabretooth devil."

"Gods be damned," Ami whispered. "That's not something I thought I'd see tonight."

#original work #dark fantasy #fantasy #my writing #writing #web fiction #web novel #creative writing #iron god #original writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writers and poets

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marypsue · 10 months

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Ahh your takes regarding the ways in which the teen trio of monster hunters misunderstand each other continue to be So Very Correct, also I hadn’t thought of Robin and Jonathan much before but you are so right. They have such fun cat energy to me (will they be hissing? Or mean together?) and the body swap fic is so clever for having their main point of contention be physically present/spiritually absent (Steve and his overwhelming shadow of being popular once and also maybe a douche)

For the torture, mentions are fine!! It’s mainly the references to specific acts, especially fingernails and fear of dying/further torture(idk if that makes sense, but generally just like details or Steve POV thinking about that scene if that makes sense?) Also references to how it felt to get beaten and how his body felt afterwards, if there are a lot of details. Totally okay if it’s too much, I obviously know that it is a key part of ST fics and also very much something that is central Steve post s3 so its very chill if you can’t tag those instances!! But I am a selfishly little glad that s3 AU hero’s won’t have that plot point and very excited as always for whatever you’ve cooked up!! I’m very excited for your fic which I trust much more than the duffers not to be blatantly xenophobia and betray it’s original messaging by becoming strangely jingoistic about the Cold War.

Cat energy! Oh my goodness, that's exactly it. They're a pair of bristly street cats recently intaken by a shelter and not sure whether they're going to get enough food not to have to fight each other about it. Steve does cast a long shadow, but I'm just now realising: Robin and Jonathan probably both have horror stories about him from the King Steve days. This is a bonding opportunity for them. (They are both going to team up to make fun of him over it and he is going to regret everything. So much.)

I think I follow, thank you for elaborating! I'll do my best to give a heads up if we get into that kind of stuff. (Although you're safe on the fingernails front; just thinking about it is a huge NOPE from me!)

And I'm very flattered to have your trust, and hope to be worthy of it! It's very disappointing to me, after season one, how deeply the show ended up falling into stereotypes and uncritically-repeated Cold War propaganda. And it worries me, because it feels like a lot of the audience the show is courting now are quite young, and farther in time from the Cold War than I am, and not necessarily receiving as thorough an education on what it was about and what its main ideological conflicts were and what its propaganda (and propaganda in general) was like. (I will not speculate on whether this is on purpose. I will not speculate on who besides Coke is funding that thirty mil per episode. I will not attempt to do any kind of ~*education*~ based on my rather poor memory of high school social studies.)

But yeah. I'm keeping tHe rUsSiAnS!!!1, but that storyline looks...a little different. Maybe a lot different. I can't actually tell anymore, I've been too close to it for too long.

#chatter #and i cannot wait to get it in front of people and see how the plot development comes across #stranger things

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farewellneverland2004 · 10 months

Text

Prologue: Straight on 'til Morning

content: just oc in this chapter! 1st person narrative

I Run!

And I Run More!

I have been running for so long, the great light begins to turn the black into darker blue.

But even then I don't stop! I can't stop when I've already gone this far.

The world passes by me before it lets me take a glimpse at it. The cold ground with its sharp stones and sticks don't hurt my feet anymore.

I keep pushing and pushing, and then... I feel nothing beneath me anymore.

Yet the world keeps passing by me, it can only mean one thing.

I remember the words spoken to me.

"Keep going forward, as fast as you can. Follow whatever way the light goes. But don't ever stop! Not until you're off the ground, and you fly!"

This must be it! I feel nothing, so I must be off the ground! I'm Flying! I'm Really Flying!

Once the realization hits, my legs don't slow their motion. Instead they completely stop.

That's when my body flips in the air. The cold ground is back and now beneath my back, then my stomach, then my back again. I keep in motion, falling down, farther and farther! Until something jagged and hard hits me and I now lay flat.

The oxygen, swift and deeply, enters and courses through my veins. I bring myself to sit up and observe my surroundings.

I'm still in the forest, but looks so much different from before. It was more of a field than anything, yet it was inhabited by giant pine trees. Each tree was perfectly spaced, and the pine fell from them like the white that fell when the window felt cold. They stood so tall they reached the tiny dots.

There were so many tiny dots. They littered the abyss above and sparkled like a dinner tray.

Is that what it looks like? The stars? And the sky? Does that mean the light is a star?

Then it all comes back! I remember what I'm doing!

I stand up to continue to follow the light. But then the stinging returns, and courses through me. As if I was injected by fifty needles all in one go. A noise sounding so familiar comes from my mouth, blood-curdling and high-pitched. Yet this time, it lingers and echoes when all is released into the vast field.

I collapse again. The cold, hard ground is soothing compared to the scolding heat lingering in my skin. I crawl back to the tree I ran into before. I harness enough energy to prop myself up against it.

I know I should keep moving.

I should keep following where the light leads.

But I'm just too tired, and the fiery heat is being absorbed by the soothing ground��I sit on.

'Maybe, I'll just stay here for awhile. I'll keep following when the heat is gone.' I think to myself.

My vision growing more and more blurry by the second. The light is unfocused and dimming. The rough bark scratches the gaping wounds, in the best way possible.

I breathe slower...slower...slower.

Then everything goes black before I even come to realize...

I'm falling asleep.

hope you liked it! it might be a while til I get the next chapter out. but I might post some other stories before that.

Intro:

#tomorrow x together #wattpad #werewolf #soobin x oc #nonbinary #trauma #ptsd #fantasy

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libidomechanica · 1 year

Text

Untitled (“Loves matrimonial”)

A sonnet sequence

Love’s matrimonial victorious sky but the dull-ey’d never women in like delyte? But makes new the grey dust shall still full in hand, alas, than he window’s not able times more to say the prey of poison cannot find enchanting it a little him to Desire, swore lusty prime. It shows his smiled with house there will I not do. Much thy father he goes; but shooting to thee I bow’d: I bow’d to annoy, they the Lord This? Thus she answers, the little books entered what wondrous measures began to speak our maladies for reflection.— Jamie, come on, who transgression in.

But be sorrow and quell as if from the rises up, the thou leaves, and poverty be made of planting, that your sweet beautiful. And the water. Stay happy few an earthly comfort to me before. Any way, save his flute, which must not reach’d the death. When they are little grey and most deceiv’d with weeds deface in the door a true plaining, is call meet; she theft. If it be poison’d post-house by the Theban walls repelled mind, that I shoulder, and mine could thus appear before events of flax that is She? And just remote. I will let me farther. Whose whose errors of rhyme. Would rouse to stay.

Some lies; the floor was the nut if, after vpon a thousand wakes the locks: then he apple blown; for for some druggists and Frances her, leaves Me, Heaven, mankind, nor eluish ghosts, nor haste wives, as he was surprise that friendly sight, and feet to speak, or sat amidst his peaceful hope: but empty cells fortunes her eyes, thou mayst thou makest fate, much left its out her feet to my own knows what in no more of the sea dashed lasses the vitriol madness with despise. Took to use, and bright has not in the sword, gown, gain, reach, and time had done so. Are the solemnly, as who furnish drapery scatter’s victim I had dashed last night, with no great sentence,—come—this fingers directly on your even things almost essentious blunder that dawn turns at her Step! Is gone. Besides, that will turn. And well oiled by the through all that once at once incaged in sooth, of those beames bene ytost: thy eye.

With Inez were possession, which a troubles therefore the one may well; perhaps it may ensured, thou talk? Where is tried to bind you both without a reward. The time-better the town and mourn, and, revels where each gift, each to try, in their woman, who was his life in mine. A pail of my bliss; thou list grows long the door was to begin. By taking its brandy’s fangs over the burdned him take heede. And he living grass and still keep your good days were and is worth no specified insides grow. Under the hands that Rumpelstiltskin? Pate. I had a look; with newe delight charioteer that thy feet.

And near the pretie case be gone—so muche doeth makes more beautiful amid the wretch, first time is Jupiter, denying throb, but not in sorrow, the proue. The lily centred in a trembling, and lint, as for our mirth the air, the world, how frail, its she unweaves lay scatter’d till that a sight to me that was as if they had been spinning that the object quoted; then they say his tender him did lift and pious use to speak out. If thou appeared to ask her, not high of man’s father meikle and good is but after him, if himself when he saint’s corrector, where deaf to low dejected, with no Spring, found, and he had it o’er think, in its bloody, full hear me at leads the spring, turn it in tender sprite; the shrike, and then leap, and beaten hyde, all which with coffee spoons; I know he has been wooed and holden hairs; if he darkened am the Indies, my Mary, the river-tide.

I have sprints over that hour of deathbed desire doth fall upon a table; let us let’s prove, should for his vision on the glittering at my side, amongst his pure and shadowe serues the state which Inde or some moment, too rare, to qualify. For shame is never-ending water wanted on trivial thing through the presenteth? Hear in dalliance what seemed the maids single beating resting with kissing, he is commission: then that my hire: my hart made a mysterics, Julia closed those lips, and into whiffs of cattell, but from Cadiz. Am with inborn good and light.

More comparable or don’t have take of day: Antonia! How Juan’s fall, in the windy hill. Thy bright hour and great his wood, and holes. What are amaze the foam, the west works and ever pierced with the trouble like Friar Bacon’s branch. Can reaching. Thus he turn’d as being furrowes: drerily showe, then will say honey or you, to lose hills. But been the fault above all beset with a shadow in mind, I see shepeheards quill. And with public learned well take my weak and silence I am duped. He replies will them if thoughts the vext garden-gate: dismiss you see. In lead, or to rehearse.

Whose weary; but Thyrsis of none. As with skill for fear when I am the shepherds in snowy couple tied: restlessness which to truth wounds wyde: vntimely my Corinna’s lip through t is well desert, I am yours in some likenesse clear and thereal lustre, with holy new one, by land and picks thro’ heaveth, she knew noses, or his delight; nothing life, and leaves, other fingers, stretch the discourse and oath to his hard, he charming, calm white or fitting brest, my stain. And harass’d your lives us off from rain: though several mouth, from fails; and the red balloons, and told heart, remember?

Cheeks and time now is turning fever saw that, oft I have sworn by thy duties party where they drewe an aged Tree on the first, and the saints thou art safe, the liar, ah God, as well couples keeping their own fire. These for peace, Peace, poised above, Jamie, come, maid, And that I said the swelling from the wine. Least sensation urging Natures lie dejected, when my life’s heard love, all being open’d, who is that in this way— or tell whether cantos of the chariot and somewhat d’ ye cal him? Most too commit a sight; and the rat; I know what they are ashes falls in times cry Too late.

Hinder legs I drew wine. This way she flatter how tender head, the one whose figures, plays about her their mistress we finds mine would lively joy. And in quiet foretold; not be fully upon his glittering waves catalogue of a kiss. The thirty mock tyrant, ugly, well perforce to earn the rode, not, cause he trouble, be prodigy then advocate; and, beauty, that not all is it may; though fortunes while his majesty and vast and like at its dark, suppress’d; but this might blow; roses forsake the floor, can not reprehends his poor people written, and on her eyes by this, reader!

Caught weight me young years? That makes that those witnesses. I HATE the door innocent determinable—not eternal eventually wrapped candid this way, the blind a lad, had not own, a deadly ground, should wine for man oft rues in haste, and gracious court hunt, be rul’d by my silence, the settling stream, where is, but the sun, reserved this fine Confessed the had at five me from their sun, that Fate does Pity her garden, all weary want religion’s, virtues not fright, so vertical virgin of strength, beneath thorny soile to forgetting his feeble to human heart, the wintry world amaze.

And no rest, she’s gondolier, whose that the miry lane she shade went on improving shed and several mouths: Echo made the windows, gazing up her note; these ruined honey, all as the Guadalquivir. Thy works of books; each leave a promise the graves with so surprize and hill-side—and the floor chalk and smil’d, and secret for my eyeballs burning Post, sole guardian, who, after has wealth of passionate fires made him dead. And never knows whether lips again? Was but a spirit, and a long the making no noise at full, so numbing upon bed always remember I am pretty fingers of her handsome evil of men that her he was often found a little time, I touch of swear natural conduct’s less bright seaweed red each other, a strange and Don Juan, half the gaudy sun that all that sooth, poor people, of animal, and strong, alfonso’s heart to frown, chid her to make.

They dimpl’t wi’ a new one, here shakes him by the pedigree with me. And song, that cold, and cock’d thy throb, but no deed of leaves on education we lean’d upon a hill, stands are our quarrell’d—why, sees his counsel of thirty come, not whether time? Fee, and o’er his revenged this the sunset and thou would have twain, exclaim aloud: finding way, and there. He who never moral tale, as fasten’d in this soft hath fed upon the meets a bare went before that we may their head of grotesques illumine; and the northern country gentleman can be deserv’d to catch in separate doole town.

Ah, my dear, where the more the rain was left its matters admiration, or in passion can fold, his lonely heart. ’St thou to get and going I see my off’rings seem than mine had disappears grew so—on the spake them not. Errors that on a screen: would fear to thought other Sunne beloved! And let few hours happy few an earth itself himself art made the flatly falling in the miserye. Was an aspiring from the steel’d, soft grone, and for loves with lawyers, and cast him down, called upon the immortal bowers as things whom the twilight, then festoons are lips, and drove passing die, till that!

Whom she went, and even my heart, the wooing to touch of the more than hold that I ask, that he feigned tears down i’ the bus, that sad and uninspired his idle dread; it is the ninety yearning or of time. Imagined such an only son wastfully, till hanging and grace can chace that suspicion doth so much petty babes, poor did me much upon us where his debt. Their resurrection, not the Bramble between meane princely gazer late school as God be prove, her Maiestie, which Amphions lyre did not covetous and the autumn sky, from the evening. Thou’s fair hands, amidst his bed or less?

Not only has plucks through Kennington and so many there we defeatures lie in bottles, and long shines: and we’ll sit continuance. Life-poisonous for the sweet to whom this isn’t thinks I do? There is yellow whereas she lay, her wisht the ruby- colour’d by their name, and tears gone of his tale, that are conclusions nevertheless from aught that breezy shadowe serues the vintage, where in October, the bald, or in dark looking in sighs can tell? You hurt the day, I giue these, twill bang our old grant they red,—the apart. Solitude: i’m filled, on horse, the row of truth, and wash my home.

Of you the wind sing all, his books, and go talking out of the ranckorous race makes us ourself, to nuptial song: mirth in at a time. And the faults assuag’d. Then what you for the spring; For she never saw. Then paye you in his agonizing their christall fall. To this a tact that inward envy his system feigning to turn of old, alley night Rauens lodge more one winks, some other afield it was lost, except for the taper, should he puts all she told men in this mutilated Hercules Furens’ into some skill: for me, shall we meet you come, cool shadow flits before she cried.

Loves with words begun to sea alone. Wakes; for those from the sun: and you know the very desolate. Her hand forth of straw and the rushes, snorts and will seru’d that before the next day see; many forget how, for her green. And was they the Blest and always snowing and wear when the courage; her eyes fingertips, the heard boy; althoughts forth a party-secret of thyself like the river-tide. Jamie, come one: so of some cabin still; then the wood that if Diogenes could though multifarious heaths, and I though I died, and not kind; why art the quiet— dull fenced as catechism alone.

Yet, that these line, of rose interpreters. Night, enfranching and air-like, her joints did so, for plague of you. And problems from him, if I had reach’d the Cheuisaunce, save that slides here! Pass and dashes and also to the milder air. She wept and to say, i’ll do my beautiful now, but keep, for her lover, show its returned my grieves no redress; when garden-walks and the statute of new is in us, and spleens beautiful wood; where comitatus, ’ just don’t thine own hither they doe beares greeting of their same debtor; yet slip through to meet you and common brother and how you have exceeding.

Few hours of the wind even that we compasse rownd. To play, and Love, Jamie, come here needed by this this pious man. I leaves are free, for miss; which it panted, whatever is his guarded may e’en gae hang her best he shocks of illness and there. And chafe o’erleap the bank had gone to mine ear, to hang the fields delighted loved. Sleep must pursued her filled their optics to the public approverb—and having Love doth shedding I will not know, not her, be it shall not set out. With each envious and fret. Looks on the hid and busy spade to quakes, the Fool.—That is it thus the snails, ton entanglée.

Without attaint,—a Rosebud blowes this back and defy history, tradition thou wait their rest, mostly strange ere nights, which he hunted man these sample, sent to lead: her minutes apart, and marvel of some blunt boar, under the misery. Make us sad next hour when thousand barks, a silence from the hand it may, with the dare, hys pleadings are you for the sky, when gather’s book, and gracious could die forsake the black and bow and quickly we’ll see, whiteness of that can’t devised what follows, if they tell you could taken bee out of the will behind the stalk bows beneath their heart prefer to.

And thou appear; and leave off a shawl. Beating they borrowed from any love and tried; handsome, and out he was balm for according, as if to leaves engraine: such cherubins as your part to my heart is not answer’d this suppose it—inter shall owe you once can heart of the cried two pails of the sweating here you know his agonizing the bricks, and mischief-making love you for thy sphere through Kennington and tremble and slurring thee mair—I meant but when he companion art, it barren, let its out of a religion is the windy hill. That Juan show it, and though icebergs, or did play: Escape me—ever remove your hand: but figures also in an auncient horrid on purpose steam, and look where Science it wholly dumb; I will he knew she was analogy between sorrow seized her as the power to mother melody—then—ah then my head, the hand, march in the wretch!

Such as words was a smile her object on was still untired; out of worth with the water entering voted, as whitehearted boots, child will environ a charlatan, a coxcomb—and having no defects, why tears gone to war and wears, and darke heart and must now his gold,—twas Cupid fix’d, as it was my chiefe pride flash the buzzing of the soul out the third, the world. Truant shaped and wear; and yet, if Love reign’s headlesse of our feet question give my lord, nobility of my best house, and accept the lesser children, come trouble grace, and I seem to murder. But to dissolving down.

The fool of the root of sorrow from your plan of talk, an orient tree, sacred with Inez dreadful hour in the Leaves room beside the bed. And the distant, to gathered by the lean, be she spoiled forest side; but I must demand people are gone by chance which uprears its she music of mine ear, thy coward. And gray, the Syren’s branch of dunces downed with wailing retreats, wherewith Inez most excel: for Age and could spin gold must not set at first pyramid and by; and now she deep grief unutterably light fold a love and quick to the Waters from the birds that is true? Your feast might the prompt to the diapason closing of all meet; she proportion or such a thought it the pale; but still thy death, whose precisions of fear ’tis a curious for domestic truth that it a year is stalk, and me, if thou freely gives to see around and silly boy, and sink beneath.

Out to see my heart’s deathlesse fayth, is the wet wind blow it not, nor idly; for trust in patience the sun and fill up his enormous in mine a philosophic in our body one slight, more to seruewe his for the familiar. When half of sorrow afterglow as that wont to folly. Since what the water’s grand Napoleon the church on the windows the spring for pow’ring of birth; his really, but in a bigge, and also are pretty sure marking this curious briar his pride, a troop of sorrow and sobs, and so shall wet, shaking up thy jocund how a call rigmarole.

That whale rises from the insult on it sleep is most proof—her pulses closet and plum. By steal a sunsets and on the lily’s whitening, and I myself the blood and Ruby Girdle his real rain, then all I part us! Long may be down, she puts all rock the other personal life is woman. The lucky hour, nor me any dove with your dwarf return around useful, or are himself a way have gone: like laments when gather of the best judges are at a sudden guest, the end. And lowly dies in scanty string, charlie and hare, must believe, she clear green dell the choir of this.

The dark with torch of a bare well if other’d if she knew, which is neighs and completed, dined, and twenty years? When drugs poison’d in his buried with much rebukes, at the feast might be my leave you taken be, that each others for many scorn; so, and be the least nights it ran, then the shady beams, and feel for all cover thee so full of fear where now for you!—My mastering through the music, whose flower empire of the spake seemed to knows no pity, ’ she sleeps she single her here are thee is my hands and read with an unworthy will; the red life in her empty heart to take away!

And I will. Whilst skies. Devoted to loves me my burial skill, in the moon was Werther, who vindicated with reward infant city, with her doth makes him by consequence, still gently, let a patience comes false of clear by the worst of view. We sicker thy mouth, keeping. That laughters of the first, your very now she fatal folds clear blacke face in the subway railing branch as manifested in the river-fields, whom I loved hill-side, whereas from me; all the web that wondrous dreadful cries, ale in the sky, or morning tied to costume. Or whether; to bid a sweet hour which at once enables a matrons when you so late he had bene all forth of all these truth of future. And sighs sought into eternal—speaker boils againe. Her eye; and, how frankincense. And so formed the swallow smoke the universe I cannot yet nought very woman who was sent thinking a sort?

No, Time began to batter’d on the wynd. Secret power of human life’s heat more white ashamed, and turn around me once t is ask’d her in him, part, there will hold up little Tippler leaning out all the funds alone, shewes loue through everyday teeth received hills, and said, it griev’d your lily- of-the-valleys, have the sigh or loud war by land took together we would never serpent his tried to thrown hair. Bid me much more about the Monarchs are mistress we finds are those made alone dwell for speaks up as time to my own knowledge, and with its virtue’s sake, remoue from the shaping to Prose.

The hands that on Parnasse higher spirit, nor reign’d all from me reioyse, thee though every shade went on whom we called once a bonie Mary. When a farthest from the worst of archives away! Begin against duns, and that breezy elms, a thrust out one I returning sire, and never changes, down, and yet there am I? I’d rather time of negligence that unaware hath put a swallow’d, pursue thine, on the heighteen in little fell downe my piteous mind, I see the senses obiects be; Deale thou wilt though long already for a passenger came began, the fizz and the forever.

Who like fruit their different mass-books out of joints did ioy amongst a peach. Her cheeke, to keep their steps aright, so thrive, with a lover, a door I saw her cheeks but to the worms riot. Adonis sits, banning like he sprinkled house the tusk in tenderers of all that the day-lightingale single things not whatsoe’er I went before his hindering the wore, beare such a troop of the first Romans chosen from all they never can I fly no concern: and then my heart down? Dead she knew each eye of a horse should be; discurtesee, and riding far enough their door and to the poor although thou appears have seene the midnight—Donna Julia, dear. As from thence to declare. A better to heares. As a world hath wrought come say that can be the breakfast table; let us away. Stealing a reply was no where so little heart; who, overcome on my doom, and holden rod, through and fair.

Before he music; with winter and which was lived, by which Death in this pride; he has been born by the turned away from sin; but ill adapted, as we our true philosopher way; each eye and feede his slaues, he stood and left me moved by the pink wave of her sonnes sight cloth’s periphery pinned and in her twining noises and which glows, come, and laurels at this credential, glad to show the flames? Sir, I hate myself to breath, my dear nancy, are not even untoward part, because of the sphere. And where at a sudden passions, while the chimneys, slippers, who, like a lyzard dull, to this.

I know pining to his wife lay so near; for my wise mething came, and I was a mother side the pineal gland, Wolfe them; her eyes have hear lyre or some of her brain being their scratchy scarves—where the trees of my hair of a kiss you with tinklings of our feet ripple, or not,—the royal itch and galvanism has set thy ways! Danger of way which, with all my ghosts them are deaf to lose, your forth to schoolboy’s team, and of Trafalgar, are so lightening, I can’t tell me where the red life a things she will no-no. And nettles rot and graves, in her mix’d thy Dust inscribe the west—I miss it!

Venus nothing quite, a blunder hide: look, for jealous, is fire domed blacke and fause these thing to all her once doth urge thee merry, the yellow pin on their queen. Book, from autumn beauty may them. How love with a cruel tongue does Pity her soft shadow for cash, or either shall bonds do from out to have reconciled! And there she doth much the right bridge, into a convenient kind; where each time—not just for there is the children, grown with the crystal brow, his usual sort. Giving writ on death-wound, the wind antithes in a red mountain-tops, in her rummaging, alfonso pause; red chastity.

I love I blessed, as also pleasures; the watchmen say, the blue instead of grotesques illuminate shrill-edged paper with dainties thou art from the dewy shadows dappled him farewell! Foolish figure took her joy. As he margin kiss him, if he had been with the Will leaguing, its curious arts, and shakes, which Death, dear love. Kissing. Journey well; the sun by the honey secret missing, that then, I begin with men’s messenger in Heaven for love is warm, humid the sky! And beautiful season: cynthia withered grapes in ambush laid, and ne’er saw. And half an hour was wonderful beyond, t is no misnomer. No flowers and knots of that moment of mine: she knew his wine into folly, or the wishing ear, to hearing the same; and heavenly haueour, her blood; in whose plac’d? Thou, sun, when thou be my upbraided her but I will my endless greet my face affection.

How like Homer’s distill’d him for a hundred hunters wracke, and mien, especially in thou feed, unless hasted frame my hand; nor they are bound by yon gate that is torn by their face. Before to go against my friend, that Inez had, with a lazy head: heavy Saturn like the queens, patriots, kings, ’ said No’. That so do their Christian languid and unruly beasts, ranges and my green: fire a ridiculous; full of that smile, look them to me, because I am bereft, and so Your handling, ’ she stone, lie on him, invisible minds conversation be man, my neck a sweet to meet.

It is teeth received hills, is love that trampled o’er-worn; When he well you urg’d that boil over the cream? The errant fog, the eternal numbers breath young Chevalier. On every well-practices turn’d; through the wet winds and yet closure of pride the greates the stature with her body was calm white as my fortune, and thou drawest thou in the could death-white. The sky to their face grownd, and, lightly dance wit still the thunderstood, and judge protection’s gone that ye must fade as welcome, O love, or part less bright, end with this, or hate, and tended, thought would though I acquire in all this wife his face.

Pan may seem to the seven years to open all the house decline and purer or woman hand feet lips another, and their ladie was bootless creatures dear. That Maud have had brought unto. On Bond Street and now is thy loving, lawful, and hath leavest he shocks my darling, in mine is the end of civil home; for kisse. All have me to prose, usurps her body borne away, as you’d best know pining to looks and are not youth as sent hisses; and with you.—People’s eyes are banish’d their halls, at disturb the specially in the blue instancy a little loom in such petty bondage in loved Chick? The Sage of death she third degrees gently met. The English, that where thou didst vnder the strike him now: she is seen, hemm’d with great what a sign! But Damme’ s quite enough? May say, she’s my daily vnbidden guest to skim the woods, as that thy AEgis o’er likes what thou cloyest me, and to the sunny, sounds his sin.

Even the danger pretence of the leave it alone she snuff’d out both would have been well-built his title of girls wreath’d up to Chrysostom inured, in heavier wrest the great numbers to please he street, but plaining is soon as I am sitting brere had it o’er a poor forests. Wonder higher spirit to heaviest temple white, to the woodland sobs, and cast a rueful love he doth but is his who sees her sinews spread on the summer white, but then to this neighbours so, that love’s eyes, and sour prenticed by the sterne shepheards rooted left me, yet when you deliberately rather compounds of gold. I know, from spot many bars to perplexes our siege all, could not chuse but whose impending summon us wise—’t is written in life’s greatest thou! I do not know, tell the world willing teares the king him, by a few last star foretold; or else a corner-stone of true one.

And the could you are the bitter what green. Under that the nodding night, and street, and overbold; not long a tables, whereas this is throat, eye and feede, as most desire. Aver and great disturb their walls repelled the last I guess; all Ear from time where harbrought without before is and dear, was in an angel of the fancied sway you mean! Her life, or Vileness! For beauty in deadly blindfold him as an honour, wonderful light evermore he stripling age’s cruel, my hear a little house, and learn from heaven’s thunderstand, Archimedes said he: nor am I raging hand.

Came, bury me, if thou not say with the after mouldie mosse, when we knows how insane the quintessence and understands are blade and now no mortal of the Hanover silent should be blind to give you, my lord, or words where away, dead. And cross her breath them grows quite the tricks, then my good? And everywhere, the Garments of golden scornes be seen some tempestuous little deep east, full, that she storm has prove unintelligible. A real intends catalogue is not for woe. And along with the lady to go with intellectual Truth, may stay at his Jenny on high and bit her feelings could thought, as stubborn as in heavenly harmonizes heartfelt chiding like Hebe’s in her sight, adonis slain: but speak to mend the precious act them aside it like the bundle of my hand—just like the most remained, and yet are all together, quite, a blushing him away.

Thus full case thou some life, to way, to men: he ran upon the ground of the still clapping conies keep silence and the waves beside, required, and she shade when I do betray a husband, ceased, proud Granada fell,— don Juan’s suit. And drawn and the SATs, don’t pretend the heart’s right munching smil’d, and going, and relaxed, that sends messenger has been a sore him from the garden and begg’d that love is selfe, allegiance! Something thee mair— I meant to be dear call our own with all this rude affray, for ignorance lies, or say, thus load. Because the smooth fall, and embraced and says she my death will not for here.

Shed our child, as also of comforts you’d rather the best is; how you are clerks,—those wonted like question. By the nerves in eyes; it were delights, all this horse should sorrow at his here divine and where should by ill bring meal she lingering absurd to plight. A God finger press’d among grief were but is her breast wast be quietus. That he distill’d her, by the full she while she made of her Eye. Where the smoke them moue; if better of the byting for my secret cause, talk of this a woman could ever would allow a girl he came also foul crazed beyond, t is in her love; not the hummingbird!

Pray, keep them all that bene forced to sublime: lady Fitz-Frisky, and poets find where thy smooth the mid-day he who would turn in the shadow dance now his sore Ah, less— so long back down in itself of its insides her veil hence—forward, and ioye, for little on there must be merciless and easefull hear the sunset the vainly guarded curl—can crack pipe—the day: his horse will presage adventurer sips not good name! And thou would be amaz’d at ever mould, no winter cavalier of all those summer wings, more is beauty may them now it with this only can so fine in the rail.

Gone, I say I have stood and tosse in front door and write. Many meet; that my lay, like advance, that I drag it out, as you turned tutors have left Adonis weep; he, like him as an unavoidable violence with such repented and windshield and secure, the iron bit her bread, which cunning doubled by learn to sorrow strange animals are at a bay: ten thou wilt thou art Great Mother snapp’d the brimming much. So they so firm, who, mixing be no liberty destined not to be free, and lightning though I were, ye gentleman is not forgotten so a woman on copse that sound entertainty rings to wet his Jenny on his to loue! Unless I miss you, and sit, where together a life you can not unespied, for thy mother and for thin potatoes; if ever why that low behind my home that she tenth Muse, but sovereign salve when he did not so full in visit.

Then drugs were stand in hue, and that matter whereas from a sort of loue, in straw into eternal sleep while on the Cheuisaunce: but for his head, and tedious, be not why. Ask no incontinents, as ugly as an hour in riding, pricks the head? The merry goblins, but not in the dolor on them under: stone-Henge in pearl then, the rough all the count you saw the blessing his king Are vanishing Adonis’ voice that sound with quenche thye third day to t, since has gather his neck a sweet, the heads of love content; there but that next to the God open’d, and did yeeld; more the cause; red cherry.

Ourself am mortals know? To be gone: little time had Julia instantaneous joy I recommend as I live! And some one; nay, do not so; I love which Pan is but a morning of his effects her arms, it seems I feel that have this. And heaped snow, or for their shatter gladly died. Nor jealous of course I call the physician, was well to one eludes, must thing, that makes obscene desires has blessed bankrupt is, made up of worse precisely equally, too real for half a sabled every act pertainty with my breaks a sigh alone. Yet each they began at once yet! Is fame?

Did you but you are at a great wrathfull woe. And the only the very well-breedings of slips, or call on theirs for her own; unconscience is; blest pedigree with breedingly drink up the pine; but Woman love round her stay’d, burneth more? To make no further yoking and feede, and I will become try me, i’ll call the town, far off everything. Did let thee the sun striking brown hair is green dropped, they will. Rich proud tails to toes answer, or ten the husband did many a shuffled so, but the tears have much more beautiful now, sir, to herself upon me, shakes the holes: arsenic, sure, air of the wisest of a generative poet meant. Talking, for here, it was before we would quit the chanced on end; his snow, or for her loving prayers to bride, so I would diving and fallacious English greedy choice that half without any other fruit nor me. But not free and convinced.

His lonely men in brass. And the glass of the ragged heart long his ten hundred of, for thyself I’ll give no one lesson by many, the name! Produced her father casting in the mid-day heat with the dwarf would deceiving thing, had toilet, thought he line, of Winter and ruff too. While the latch would leave the summer and but them what if I fled from his Face, the night. A worse, that portend no title of my right, thought at all maskes my smart, so forth, having on the blocke was much time of thine. Sate with maudlin Clarence be staid wittily entreat the cause I hard-favour, some strange and the Cape.

To hear his green. That sit a-billing lowe in scorning, so as no deed of crimson is also of his usual price so light it no symptom e’er begot such weeping? Other she had cut a passion cannot reproue, and love each hands, precious stone lake dry; it seems that seemed midnight I from for the heart, a loaf of bread—and half-drown’d with Pray, sir, both will at least thou shall not fall future a graces that best, and then shalt thou smile betwixt the bundle of grace; a moth. But it was afraid, and blacke and dinted grass on the right; faintly, but no more modern phrases and all wet; and a snag.

Look for those handy lads, gusts, and frenzies’ bonie Mary, canst the last no matter gladly all those very leaf fluttering company for abettors, beside yon shrines of carelesse Rosalind hath been travelled half-past simile is the wolf rages with sad impatience knows, and round a wretched spot man, hateful, tender side the better, shall never see Brooklyn. Across to touches beating sorrow, sit by the starts, ’ they are thou with his mamma was read; the bones still less chase, but in the white hand; o plighted even so close his way shall tell, and then sending with blushing this hand in whom I see you looked tushes up on his faded cheeks, cries. Since to bring to feed her as my Mount Strongstroganoff I put on parish chariot and sorrow from thou wish to see that is i want to me, like a glutton dies; all Ear from the folly, or some stay’d in good was braw, and signs.

In her solitude or Affrick hold. I love is rough erst it reach’d the maids were lost both him is beads bothered, and now no more love! Same market using to beares; makes new them crept: I cannot get from the inside the more about this was thy Body’s Strength to slay, or buttons and clear, or proud despair I will not blood; in whitening, from her tears. Of the money, household the room, hall, dropt off begetter’s ear; children’s branch as they would allow a girl he can scarce knew that I see she rode, not my faults, yet mayst with painters till head, I say, I’ve told her Soul crazed beyond there is not my dream?

Like shame of her own words by her was the house to be done in bottles, and white and foundation certainly swore himself of soul! In Rose and in his haste. A nurse’s sole worthy, or stealing? How drugs when all alarms. Each flowers the copious sayings deem’d my epical pretend to seal upon the useless can contrived to turn their halls, and out in good mien excites us like sandhills be dry, in ordered long as this way, the last? And waves with their hips: now I think that she leaps, her ruddies out. The sunny, sound entering hillocks, but fail’d, and the village grown: i’m filled the sea.

Is in vain that gave of Fortune be: if not, cause I love that I haven’t be was sometimes sweating off at strife: o my Belovëd, those gentlemen, the wine. La Belle Alliance’ of dust and bushes vsed to flie; I must now to scold, and badde the could have none; whose eyes, I over-handled the place, whose bramble fair sun, art he shouting bread on its gulf a fit confounding happy man, say, they but his sharp eye of a moth. Unless infallibly them out thee as his two must pay a meaneth the husband she gave you taken place. Had take their fair, and few the aidance with the cries, Fie!

From hunting pill and mate, so sweeter fooling the air, the Vandals that hath sing; the close by frost and a primrose, and immortal who can that of Donna Julia sate with him meditative. ’—Alfonso grappled to give it leanes amidst our Britain him from your undividual undergrown more so serenity her hastely the tended. Blush they might hair is green; at time it leanes amidst the bride, and my place, some people’s voice obedience, but a fourth at every often stood could my right, the endgame on earth with the heart, in time of June: no shadow in the warm.

Though his owne will draw soft sight; and Juan’s songs are not my desk is a still was summer and ring to give for a with a psalmodic amble with the soul give my comfort of their man. The dandelion glares I used to fill who wanton hair is grief. A real thine own Dignity, like him from worse than summer pomps comes not winter cavern d—n. ’Twas supposed thou not speake to turn his dismay’d, shepherd’s star doth borrow, and teach their burthens, meaning or electrons, so on the house was dead claps her own discovery one’s eyes a thunder; tis such who is no harmony, from wealth to view then?

Was almost doth she, by a whispering. To tickle she will would make clouds continuance. The sky, sports in triumphant song— he wondrous new that was they not quite a Jupiter, it trembling knees that where was on a scraping and foul flaws to fire, my life, and in a statement as well as a woman. Your small loue to begin with, but none can contemplation had force of fire, and ogled, and joys of age, but waxing that: disarayde: thou hast with worse the evening rather deaths starting courier doth makes young Chevalier ne’er be barren of sentimes to bush to tell the noble.

Nor hast to the signs. Oh Thou of more the Law’s expounder, known them, but from chant the vitriol madness, the brine; when nature’s high, they would all the Greek contraction of the Apostles all stir or brawly weel her souls commit—flirtation to write a sweet to mend the worldly bullet of her Breast.—God knows how the trembled as a Nun breath who found again, but nothing conflict of all the first love not be full their resurrection which has set. Service doth face. If seeing hare, ’twad be my love you along. Thing worm, who has sail’d when the staring my thirsty lips being desolate hearse?

Nor had his mother arms of Heaven’s light. Give me birth do find his homages,—is yet the last in an approach thou will open with a voice a modest eye or ear, to crowning again. A year to year my pipe is look at there are we, or like a sin, and malformed. Several thousand back again. The earth my lovers he is redoublesome for a frown—that burneth more in being desolate, much improved o’er- worn; When I appeal to his desolate, encreases. But if they stain my honourable to those upturns here! Of his light, with while his heart. I said, ’twas a mistake.

Make use or garden and though our bodie bigger room. So say to not seen: look, adown yon shrine while for often are, all whether a life of a base than another cries. In some place. A life from behind some weekly-strewn cavern d—n. There is of Almighty Mother’s joy was from a belt of birth, we sick of shame he might she saw his moderate Love is in a day, they’re wet wind antithes in for a day of the brim there people’s in this bridegroom and from my coy disdain’d his nearest followed cloth’d in her could not in my head, anacreon’s mother discovered what they passion.

Me weeping I stood translate! The crammed for miss’d oft his for truth of rooﬁng and here is musicke vnto the great mood, the full before her will for the churches a separate dreaming their gesture, theniel’s bonie Mary, I hae sworn by the learn to the sexual voice! Their own in Spain and of Homer, so that love with such a frown, does shouldst thou be’st Doubt, an eye so busy, that I am your brow a homilies, and sickness, with leave Scotia’s skin. Two roads diverged in the heat and swords, or hath should I fled from vertuous matter of the regions of inward eye which he way through,—an’ Charlie,&c.

And hint, but street, and love is laugh at a learn her wrong You were not that rise: the bedroom with gazing up my own desert rove? Ate in contented in me, they that flight be more secure, exception on parish chariot quickly in; so offence, stood call his leavest he cruel love, till I sing, so as none, one moment to say you in these freeborn sounds wyde: vntimely shining sagely from the play at its outward parts, as a sadness stems in self once more cause. No marueile Thenots Embleme. And screw out of birds nor clime thou to see her: evermore the poor trick of Hazeldean.

The foolish fires, and through the redd’ning coals. She saw my pained to make it is better to the vale, a dewy grassye ground; he could you appeared. But pass’d in a garden-walks withal, thou makes me sweetmeats or strong- tempering. Is enough,—an’ Charlie, he’s favor’d none of us the mystic art, the defend again undone: what bare excuse! I have drain’d! I wonderful, and childish error, that the strange excuses moe, soon shame. Juan, half of sons, and thee: or sicker I have done. And to spright and devotion, follows, if her heavenward fate; and angry eye doth aspirin. Itself should have lost.

Was yellow with breath, thou didst name it less; thou hast fount is,—love, Jamie, come to Parnasse hyll, but what to all the swain returned away he did not aspires, so dull disposed to a spectral resign; for virtuous man, that, oft I heard looked, and turns he passion most despaired your younge again. With words where, at all the best is beads both instead of tranquil ruin, I returned, and find the walks, and if he lives away, away she with despise. A pail of mine; I love this dead rescu’d from changed, and merely for leaves. Do feed her fawn his fyrye faces round-table known doubt. Though wind, the bed.

Her tears my hair of the chin, and me, if ten of London when perverse universal egotism, that she sparing else is. That since thou had your fill, standing will one day after clothed, to whom Love upon they pleasant sun, reserving-boy apprenticed by death shedde. And if not I, for the thrown dove with holy eld did yeeld; more charm between. If, after forms of ladies us. Central to this way-wander’d the utmost list between him derive. I say, I have speaks Friends, the soul which preys makes the good old-gentle spray. An orient to Africa, some for pay, nor winding streetlamps.

To chickadees and bruised, as the measure, fie! Drink up the wealth well-bred, or stonish’d and bring invincible, because a garden- walks in figure be sin in the hot you will attentions, and to be this head grown selfe to claim, or sonnes sighing a worse for making her belied in a letters downe thy right; love’s pleading grave, see, the work the attorney. The first inquired the fully blest; for kissing by yon gate that is tent my Love’s eyes, I overshoot not like a true blown his Years nor those hills round her few books often rises from the Honour waste not pine. And butter. At last.

To be maintained a rustic indigence around the lightly slaked my fresh variety; ten kisses against the exceeding; yet he country comets, that heavenly faut is enormous city’s spread our desire: after the floor’d out a treasure shall be said in which I be in a net, so for a hope no ruth for a kiss, then we cannot reprove; unless year old days that faculties, at disdain, sighs, half-lost in the urchin, and in me cast me, when I kisses sweat of the special legend or God to bleed. With our booty; but when you to rewards scoop’d a reward.

A wiser mine own desert my heart he shore, young, he would not your good compasse rownd. In human face and love you shall come half upright, with bashful, sip thy jocund hours, days, jovial and thy pipe now determined that all regard, at five mind, homeward bene prince Hamlet, nor idly; for our share left as the poets and the silly mind, how broad estate, statute of a burro, too rare, the languor, which made the realms of tormenteth: art thou leftst thou art gone of all live in his golden prime Death is thy bright it’s great, if thou provoke a park, an Isis hid by his candid this rude.

Whose solitude; for looke loue as late with mints is difficult, to profits by her more square than dove with sulphur blended from my misfortune has been his your faith the bark was dimity, that and a happy, honest through the path their prime! And what this isn’t things are they lived long the snail, inventing a human signification, denying their sweet is old Bench, and i would betide, and sometimes it ran, and let the fires, some way. Everybody love, and blow it every light, thy demand; he may descended he wheels, thy sum of gods had now his memory disinterested chanting.

And that the please than treasure shall at once to herds. Car nor they butt. Filled my top is true, my necktie rich may no mirthful friends; revenged thing to lovely, Woman’s education too, had ta’en by Gurney, which he was certainment to a paragon, and if her Bounty, should I presumed and brown, quite undone, because the west; those hollow like hand fear: and the cool’d; else, that prosers, and yonder will not live, and extremely fair; and ink for it have seen made up of trees that madmen may request, and let my great, strength a voice of the trees and have these are the sullen, still my though the death.

Jewel will be assured, grow old things with hairy bristly pit long dead, lo! What are three; and extremes there, like a servants full moon, and brouzed, and she vows for a passively veins would hardly heart, ever round: less than with this way, but, by his own Aristotle’s rules, then flies. Asking a prayed like it and out of this way, that his cheek grown so weak a waste in one went to gas;—through Year just now I could steady beam a stranger: if people talked with cold and very useless the rose. And all wealth adieu,—farewell look in mine is the Mermaid’s voice of thirty come, my hour of his obsolete.

Peace, sharp fangs combing the broad bred, they shone not so very womankind’s, my Mary, they met or passionate lover done. Of war, and blood watches are mutual minds creepe: she lifts its memories! On the silent shape comparison; even at thir girls, they the Love is warm before this, poor spring, bids him bring invincible Soft— music blended, they first express its multifarious race; anon the door a tide is the mind is filled, get next I shoulder, answers, asleep; where there of huge despair,— you, to loves withouten dressing atoms lay, and sighing all kinds of so grac’t, ah!

The entirely. We are his face. Part of incompared to prose, and makes the haunted, with face. In some weight, those suicide was at a flint is always done that thou be different men have scandal’s fan; ’ and all that the sibyl’s den of woes. Nor reign, a lusty knight; but back retires to ramble with a streaming music. We would be bereft, and ever yet the snow’s daughter with your want out a patience. Why: t was night had a good is blurred. When closet and rough Kennington and instinct now I have had not know that blown vp with chamfred brood on a day, cash comes false bethinks I do?

The floor, one party as silt. And let you being the apple on the white events is a kind only a yard beauty under the wind round, and happy morning keeps, where are leagues of meetness, good bye, all the woeful wood; or the that her souls were and turn them; her eye; both good night: Good nights he door, like the lamplight and distress we find; but I know her can move my love throne, warning summon us where and fause the soft shade of cluster’d and fair fallen have squeeze: the moonbeams false darts for himself a flaw discolours she such doing alone, and pull the familiarly be sandy down.

Such for his garrison; so fasted, that dead: he had been cried. This can it for our particularly with considerable man, my head morning-glory had blood still, will constance—gentle Lover call me while then, by which doth for being decree me here was veil’d, and yet who watching, which their place may pass’d in cloud: the light; through a white lesions settle works on Ilsley Downs, now the application, for kiss dropp’d half forgotten: I cond of empty honour ends, to be; and such, indeed divine, shewes loue doth lend and and hunched swindler’s review—the Bramble fair accept the happy thee after all the stars shines, brighter, or proud, alley night thee in sighs can it to roast, they mean to rehearse? And falls in light vpon my will not white flesh and pitch the bitter with slightly train to gently the love is whatever in his grosser parts, Love’s bed or ever thought of my own disgrace.

It’s gondolier, and while she heart which she only son to all her off she succeed— but I am. Her moans; passion, who did not find and bruis’d, would you know my hearers of my face of time I hear Alfonso stood, because I love the cowslips, or criticism, and prickled round seeks: his sharp air with bear, or so old their daily comfortless nobler parts; yea, which the bridge of twilight hour of air-balloons, and hair, nor set the rain in the snow takes her guard; at least, dun and where the heard, my hear their fancied sighing passions and fear: and ye sall be too much, and the State’s call me Papa.

One by one in a brutes, would pleasures, every gentle Love upon therefore, to choose: they are fourth who doted; the digits of the chin thrust ahead or henchman, oh Jack on his shore. Over heart stand a strange; men have lost like a vision, principal, and sings: O joy, folioed. Oh Thou needs will not by income-tax laid him as if thou shall state, that never so buoyant you think t was most abhorr’d: the feels: her beauty of blood grew distant a few the immovable or did music now? That I should travel for chaise, or could run into your good and smil’d, by an articles of hair.

Passed a man was not answer to unity, and o’er they that she unlocked and be not see, and in the garden-gate, but in sight. Dear, my mouth a love them in that faculties, and an idle dreaming main till the nine day will back when Jubal streaming speaking liue tyll theirs be that love the modest Dian clouds before, and studying all the wheat was gone who had trodde in the complexities dwell within her way; soon on parish. Sad shall it that seemed to remov’d, be better pleased, prologue of you taken place the years with ladies, my own doves with you are so spring-tides she agrees.

Black, we wish’d good, then took Algiers, declare. The great wind is apt to move my leave been awoke before the staring and of better: this things will be through whom this storms thinks were pass’d in times her season her linked with silent gulf a flames, which Life is wise if I move tormenteth? Before he can, now droop, and old. Forth a leap; on which a trouble you? Grief unutterable to the windy hill. One from their moon is over was an untowards that tedious noises and when we innocence. Today i’m fond myself a foolish figure? They There is determined to do thy flowers.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #224 texts #sonnet sequence

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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