despite knowing what was going to happen, snotlout's redemption and eventual downfall was so so heartbreaking to me. we spend the past 10 books witnessing how much he's tormented and bullied hiccup that we all feel the same anger and frustration and resentment as fishlegs does in the beginning of 11. i was, maybe, even rooting for something a little bad to happen to him so that he can feel even a fraction of the humiliation that he put hiccup through. but time and time again hiccup, with his inherent goodness and wonderful capacity to always try and see the best in people, reminds us that people need and deserve second chances. even third, fourth and fifth chances. even when hiccup was faced with the certainty that snotlout was set on betraying him from the start.
that's why it was so satisfying to get to the emotional catharsis of the swordfight. snotlout practically begging for hiccup to hate him and hiccup genuinely not having it in him to be able to. and even after that, even after he disarms hiccup and is seconds from killing him - he doesn't. and then hiccup comforts snotlout through it. he tells him words that snotlout didn't know he's been desperate to hear. he tells him he's being too hard on himself. he tells him he's a hero. he opens a door inside snotlout's life for the first time in a long time. despite everything, he offers him another choice to join the dragonmarkers. and snotlout accepts. he bows to hiccup, he calls him king, pledges his sword to his service forever, shakes his hand and chooses to bear the dragonmark.
and it's this moment we finally seeing the seeds of change planted in snotlout sprout - instigated by gobber teaching him a lesson in the amber slavelands and reminding him what the black star represents: pride, honour, bravery. all the times we see snotlout give in to vulnerability and ponder on his choices, he's always holding onto it. which makes it all the more symbolic when he hangs it around hiccup's neck during his last act of valour.
just like how the book tells us that the tides can change so fast, through hiccup, my heart was able to give snotlout another chance too. and it's because of hiccup's belief in snotlout's potential for more that makes you feel so strongly about his death. snotlout's excitement at finally being on hiccup's side, at doing what's right, at having the opportunity to actually be a hero - we can't help but feel that burst of pride, we can't help but root for him. and so we feel the loss, as hiccup did. and it's a point driven home when hiccup ends the epilogue with how he’s carried snotlout and his sacrifice with him all throughout his life. and how time has rubbed away at the black star.
that now the star doesn't look black at all. just gold.
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Tries not to think about Pokeani ending tomorrow after over 25 years of adventures and friendships and rivalries and battles and wins and losses and championships and Pokemon Masters and irreplaceable partners and
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Day 4: Pride
i wrote it on his shirt instead of the black text in the bg like I've done for the past days, since the space is surprisingly occupied
Okay so i kinda went crazy with this one... If you wanna read my decisions and thoughts behind this thing feel free to read below the cut !
Anyways, Pride. Bon. Where the hell do i start.
I see Bon as a very proud person, at least proud of his craft, at what he excels at, which is playing guitar.
SO. Why is he so many colors and shit? Hes the colors of the people closest to him. Friends. Malva/Usagi is the blue, Mangle/Meg is the pink, Toddy's the red, Joys yellow, and Bonnie's purple.
All the different colors and expressions represent what they sorta do to Bon? How they affect and influence him n shit... All with his pride at the center of it.
Malva/Usagi. Shes his sister, his twin. They are directly compared what feels like constantly to Bon. He's specifically in his school uniform because school is where they show their true personalities most. Where they differ the most. Malva is organized, in control, plans thing out, is a natural leader, book smart. She's always 'on top of it' and mature. All things he feels he lacks/inst enough of. A point of shame and envy within him, at least in comparison to her. Same situation and she can somehow 'handle it all better'.
Whether that's all true is a different matter lol. perception and reality am i right?
Anyways onto Joy. Yellow. All the toys boost each-others egos and shit, but where Bon and Mangle are comfortable being brutally honest and blunt, but giving genuine compliments is sorta few and sparse, laced in their silly stupid sarcasm and fake hatred of each-other.
Joy just says what she wants straight up. If the others are going off, she'll say it, if they're blowing it, she's gonna say it straight up. Shes always energized, and imbues the other two with that same energy. For Bon, Joy is someone who pushes that cocky side of him further out. Full of himself, thinking he's hot shit. (I mean thinking that isn't completely undeserved, hes impressive for his age n shit, but kid has an ego is hat I'm saying lol) She brings out his fiercer energy. She gasses him up, inflates his ego, and his pride gets the better of him and can turn kinda shitty and egotistical and mean ect ect
Mangle/ Meg, lol. haha stupid stupid stupid decisions.
They are both. very proud of their craft and Mangle is someone who has peen put through and continues dealing with a lot of pain. He pushes through it though. She pushes through her pain, through their days, through everything that's handed to him because she's determined to get through shit and not let things like constant aches and loss of balance hinder him. They'll do what they want and it doesn't matter what hurts. Bon. Was already a dumb-ass with that sorta mentality, but alongside mangle they both push each-others pride to being a detriment to their own health and safety. lol
Toddy. Toddy, Toddy, Toddy. Longtime family friend, has known that blue rabbit family since. ever. okay? Okay. She knows. She just knows what the fuck is up with their house and situation, she's seen Bon at his worst and helped him. Moments he'd rather not be aided, moments he'd rather not be seen. Moments of shame. Along with that shame of being seen, comes the discomfort and shame of being known. They know each other, they do, yet they feel like strangers at the same time. They can hang out and have fun, but they don't click in the same way Bon clicks with the Toys. There's a seed of shame in Bon that he cant be the good friend Toddy wants and needs. The friend she feels she had. The friend she feels she lost somewhere.
Bonnie.
Bonnie. End of sentence I cant do this anymore I cant fucking tackle that one i cant do it you cant make me-
Okay what if you someone really pissed you off. Like super pissed you the fuck off. You have this one thing you're really good at, you have this one thing you you are GREAT at, you consider yourself unmatched.
Then you get matched. Then you aren't an untouchable god at your craft. You're tumble down from your pedestal, you ego is more bruised than you can admit. Then he bugs you cause he think you're cool and can teach him shit. Even though you feel like you totally lost just by being matched, and part of you hates it cause he's a walking reminder that you aren't untouchable. but part of you likes it because someones fucking gawking at you and looking at you with admiration, directly. SO you fucking cave and do it and whoops oh shit you kinda vibe with this guy. Shit he likes Zelda. shit hes letting you use is switch cause you mentioned never having played any of the Zelda games even tho you've both been passionately ranting about the games for a while now. You became friends with the guy who irritates you good job doofus. Goodluck with the weird mix of friendship and resentment idiot. And the underlying romantic bullshit cause fuck you , fuck you royally.
And scene.
Killing Bon fnaf highschool my curse to carry. lololololol
Pride, Shame, People.
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big spoiler cw for the finale- i understand why a lot of people didnt feel like it made sense for how ed was acting during izzy’s death scene, like it didn’t feel earned or whatever bc they’d been at odds w each other since last season, but for me, and understand i’m not saying my personal experience making it make sense for me is trying to give undue writing cred or whatever, but i had a very difficult relationship with my very transphobic/bigoted mother. she made my life a nightmare a lot of the time. but i had to care for her in death. i had to watch her die for months. it was a waking nightmare, and it had a profound effect on me. it was complicated. it made my relationship to my memory of her very complicated. (and even if it hadnt been a months long ordeal i was caught in the middle of i’d probably still feel similarly) and that’s how ed dealing with izzy’s death feels to me. just like him having to kill his father, it was the right thing to do, but it still left him with difficult emotions. when ed says “you’re the only family i’ve got left” to izzy, after all the bullshit they put each other through, i get it.
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