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helenaheissner · 6 months

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Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 16

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***

Kate

Zeke and I ate dinner together again the next night, and the next night, and the next, and the next. Our second dinner we just went and got pizza, then took in a movie. Our third saw us eating at my place, while my parents playfully interrogated the young man as to his intentions towards me. Our fourth was at his place, and Faith was in attendance- mostly because she was the one who cooked for us. It was a delicious meal of grilled chicken sandwiches with a homemade cobb salad on the side. I didn’t realize she was the one doing that for us until I arrived and the food had already been prepared, and I was wracked with guilt at the realization. The poor girl was bending over backwards to help me, and being nothing but nice to me… I tried to invite her to stay, but she slipped off somewhere before I could even finish the offer.

We all had the week off from our respective fights, and none of us felt like going out, so we wound up spending Friday night all watching the fights together at my place. Jolly Roger, Tooth Fairy, Sparky-Sparky-Boom, and Ultimate Frisbee all took home victories.

At the end of the night, as Zeke and Faith were getting ready to leave, Faith was scrolling on her phone and then paused with what looked to be a panicked expression all over her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked. Zeke was standing in the doorway, me at the base of the stairs, and Faith between us.

“Um,” Faith said. “You’re trending on social media.”

“How’s that possible? I don’t have any social media accounts.”

“Well, um, someone tagged Zeke and I’s shared account with a photo that got posted,” she said. “And you’re in it.”

“What?” Zeke and I said simultaneously.

She showed us, revealing a picture of Zeke and I leaving the Indian restaurant together that past Monday. Revealing me in all my trans glory to the entire internet without my consent. “Who the hell-”

“Olivia,” Zeke growled.

“Let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Faith said.

“Who tagged us in the photo?” Zeke said.

“Let’s see here,” Faith said. “Who the heck is Eileen Portman?”

“Team Sparky-Sparky-Boom!” I said, grinding my teeth together. “They were at the restaurant on Monday night!”

“Goddammit,” Zeke said.

“Okay, let’s not freak out,” Faith said.

“Not freak out? Are you kidding me? This is the perfect time to freak out! That-that bitch! She’s my next opponent, she must have done this on purpose to rattle me! I’ll show her. I’ll crush her, I’ll-”

“Kate,” Zeke said.

“What?!”

“You’re doing it again.”

“What do you mean?”

“It,” Faith said. “You’re doing it. Your hands are bunched together.”

I looked down, to see my hands had indeed balled into fists. “Oh.”

Zeke walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “It’s okay. I know you’re upset. I know this feels awful. But you’re better than this. You don’t have to play the game on their terms.”

I looked up at this man, at my man, and the anger evaporated, replaced by a cool serenity and simple clarity. “You’re right. I still have a week to figure out my response. That’s plenty of time.”

“Exactly,” Zeke said. “You can get out in front of this.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Faith said. “Own your narrative. There’s got to be some way for you to respond to this without slipping back into your old persona.”

I breathed in deep through my nose. “I think I have one idea.”

***

I popped my first Estradiol pill when I woke up on Monday morning, letting the blue-green tablet melt under my tongue. It had a curious texture to it as it slowly dissolved, and I wanted to say it tasted like sugar, but it didn’t really taste like anything. I wanted to say I could feel it changing me right away, but that was ridiculous. What it did make me feel right away, though, was relief. And… Joy. A clean, pure joy that sang through my entire being, every fiber grateful as I took my first step towards changing my body to what I wanted it to be.

I was on my way, physically and mentally.

Now for the hard part.

I did my makeup, put on a blue and white sundress and a pair of strappy sandals, put in my four hours at the store, and then climbed in my car and headed to Gaines Auto Body and Bodybuilding.

I’d emailed Gaines’ social media publicists, Nadine, on Saturday morning, and we’d set up a meeting for the following Monday. I parked in the back of the shop and made my way in through the front, conscious of the dozens of ridiculously buff guys staring at me as I walked through the gym. Some were staring at me with recognition and contempt, others with bemusement, others with confusion, and one or two with naked lust. I wasn’t really sure what to do with it all, so I just kept my head down and powered through.

I reached the back of the gym and knocked on a closed door, and when it opened, a young black woman with long, luscious braids and bold makeup stood on the other side. She was tall and slender, and wore big, horn-rimmed glasses over her brown eyes. She wore an orange shawl over a light blue tank top and darker blue jeans, while red converse all-stars adorned her feet. A diamond engagement ring rested on her finger, shining proudly even in the cheap, artificial radiance of the overhead light. “Hi!” she exclaimed, effortless enthusiasm pouring out of her.

“Uh… Hi!” I said, doing my best to match her immense energy.

“You’re Katherine, right?” she said, opening the door wider and gesturing me into the office.

“Uh, Kate, but yeah, that’s me,” I said. Her office was carpeted, with teal-painted walls and sleek metal desk in the corner. A bi pride flag hung over the wall, along with a framed copy of a college diploma from CSU Long Beach that read ‘Nadine Palmer.’

“So, I got your email, and first off, I wanna say, I am so, so sorry that happened to you,” Nadine said, gesturing to the bean bag chair that sat in front of her desk as she traipsed over to the regular chair on the other side. Seriously, what was with this place and weird seating arrangements?

I sat down in the bean bag chair, surprised by how soft and comfy it was. “Thank you. I… I gotta be honest, I have no idea what to do now. I’ve never really been a social media person, but I know I want a new image going forward.”

“Tired of the whole ‘macho bravado’ thing, I take it?” She said, offering me a sympathetic look.

“Yeah, it, uh… Well, it served its purpose,” I said. “And now it doesn’t, anymore.”

“I completely understand. My fiance, Greg, went through the opposite version of it.”

“How do you mean?”

She looked at me for a second.

“Oh, he’s-”

“Yes, exactly,” she said. “Used to have no idea how to stand up for himself, the poor man. But people can change.”

“Absolutely,” I nodded.

“So, I think we should start by building an Insta profile for you, something that makes you seem friendly and approachable, and take it from there. Sounds good?”

“Sounds great!”

“More broadly, though, do you have any idea what kind of gimmick you’d like to go for?” Nadine asked.

“I… I don’t know yet,” I said. “Do you think… For now, we could just focus on the bare bones stuff, get me ready for my first big public appearance as myself?”

“Totally fine,” Nadine said. “Mind if I ask you a personal, transition related question?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Have you started HRT yet?”

“Just took the first pill this morning,” I said.

“Good, good. Here’s my pitch then: transition timeline. One photo of you every week, dolled up and looking gorgeous like you are now,” Nadine said.

I smiled.

“Then we compile the timeline while the hormones work their magic slowly.”

“I like this plan!” I said.

“Thought you would. Once you’re further along, we can decide on a more specific gimmick for you going forward. For now, though, who’s ready for a photo shoot?”

I mustered up my best smile. “I am.”

“That’s the spirit!” she said.

***

The shoot flew by faster than expected, and so did the rest of the week as I finished repairs on Polyphemus in preparation for my fight. The bot was finished, ready inside my truck, and I sat in the driver’s seat in the parking lot, that damn parking lot where so much had happened to me, clutching the steering wheel with my seatbelt still fastened and the door still locked.

“You okay?” Zeke said from the passenger’s side. He’d ridden in with me, while Faith and my parents were meeting us there. Zeke was originally going to do the same, but… He’d offered to keep me company on the ride over, and my heart freaking sang when he did. He’d been at my side through so much of this… Part of me wondered if I really deserved him. Part of me wondered if Faith deserved him more.

But he wanted to be with me. He’d said as much. Granted, we’d both agreed to keep our relationship on the down-low at work, at least for the time being, but still… That he was there with me, to help prop me up, was amazing. “I’ve… Been better. Nervous, mostly. But I’ll be fine. Got all my repairs done before the match, got my outfit already-”

“You look gorgeous, by the way,” he said, gesturing to my black skirt and pink hoodie combination.

“Oh, stop,” I said, smiling bashfully and playfully waving my hand at him.

“Hey, just being honest,” he said. “My girlfriend looks gorgeous, I’m gonna tell her as much.”

My jaw dropped, but my lips slowly curved upwards into a smile as his words sank in. We both sat there a moment, a change in the atmosphere between us making itself readily apparent. “D-did… Did you just use the g-word?”

“Heh. I think so,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“I mean I just… We’ve been seeing each other pretty much nonstop for a few weeks now, we’ve made out a bunch of times, your dad even gave me the whole speech-”

“Yeah,” I said, warmth and giddiness exploding in me like a Fourth of July fireworks display. Girlfriend, I thought as euphoria and attraction swirled together.

“If you’re not comfortable putting labels on it yet-”

I unbuckled my seatbelt, reached over, grabbed his face and kissed him. Our lips pressed together, his stubble scratching and tickling my carefully made-up face. I opened my mouth up further, pushing my tongue towards him, and after a nanosecond’s hesitation, he let it in. We Frenched for a few minutes, only the utmost willpower pulling me away from the magnetic connection that held the two of us together. I didn’t want to stop, but I knew if I didn’t, I’d be inviting him to tear off all my clothes. And putting aside the part where I wasn’t sure either of us were ready for that, it was a work night.

“Okay,” I said, my voice breathy and girly, half-purr and half-whisper, my nose pressed against his. “I’m your girlfriend. You’re my boyfriend.” The euphoria and the giddiness tripled, quadrupled, quintupled. Everything felt clear and simple and right, as if I’d unlocked some higher sense of understanding myself and him and the both of us together. Of how we were more together than we were apart.

“Okay,” he smiled.

I kissed him one more time for luck, and said, “Let’s light this candle.”

Zeke helped me wheel Polyphemus into the arena. The first two fights of the evening had already gone down, and I handed my intro monologue card to the appropriate person. They read off my speech and introduced me, with Derek and Marty making note of a few adjustments I’d made.

“Well, it seems this is a season of change, Derek,” Marty said into the microphone. “First Faith Watanabe, and now Kate Calloway as well.”

“Exciting times we live in, Marty,” Derek said. “Wonder what other surprises Team Polyphemus has in store for us tonight.

“AND IN THE RED CORNER,” came the next monologue, roared to life by our glorious master of ceremonies, “This bot, is DA BOMB! It’s got an EXPLOSIVE PERSONALITY, and it’ll spin your head RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND! It’s SPARKY-SPARKY-BOOM!”

Mr. and Mrs. Portman stood across from me, both clapping along to their own applause. Their bot was… An interesting design.

A bomb. It looked like a big black bomb, mostly spherical, but with a rotating horizontal spinner consisting of a massive saw blade wrapped around it. The nub at the top of it looked like a wick but was, in reality, a spout that shot fire.

Fire-breather against fire-breather it was.

We were led into our respective boxes while our bots were wheeled onto the floor of the arena. “Hey there!” Mrs. Portman called out to me from her box, a smile I couldn’t decide on the veracity of gleaming across her face. Her husband, for his part, had adopted a smug smirk.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly.

“Good luck tonight!”

“Thanks, you too,” I said, my voice dipping low.

“Oops, be careful about that voice,” Mrs. Portman said. “There’s cameras and microphones everywhere, you know.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that when you posted me on Insta without my consent,” I snapped.

“Oh please, I did you a favor- you had no exposure on any socials, it was time you made your big high society debut,” Mrs. Portman said.

White hot anger flashed inside me like a lightning bolt. “Lady, where the hell do you get off-”

“ROBOTS! ACTIVATE!” screamed the mechanical announcer.

Mrs. Portman punched her button and then gave me a mocking wave.

“We’re finishing this conversation later,” I said.

“I sure hope we are!” she smiled.

I grunted. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. I punched the button, and the bot battle began.

The thing with horizontal spinners was that they had a built-in defense system, provided they didn’t take any major hits before they achieved full speed. Which meant there was a limited amount of time before my attacks would stop being as effective. Normally, a simple weapon like my katana would be able to jam the spinning blades before they could get to full power.

But I hadn’t brought my katana that night. For tonight, I’d gone with a throwback and attached the ax Polyphemus. It would slow me down, but coming at this opponent from above made more sense to me than an attempted shot to the proverbial heart.

Sparky-Sparky-Boom was faster than it looked- it came charging at me right out the gate, Mr. Portman stoic and stern as he piloted the bot. I didn’t move, didn’t even attempt to pivot. I just waited, waited, waited-

I slammed the trigger on my ax as SSB closed the gap, and my ax pile-drived into my opponent’s spinning hacksaw. Their weapon shattered, sliced down the middle and torn off its axis.

“OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! KATE CALLOWAY HAS MADE A BRUTAL OPENING STATEMENT WITH A CRUSHING BLOW, DISABLING SPARKY-SPARKY-BOOM’S PRIMARY WEAPON WITH A SWING OF THE AX!” Marty screamed.

“Nice shot, ‘girly,’” Mrs. Portman said, adding air quotes to the final word. Jerk. “Can you handle the heat, though?”

With that, her husband barrelled forward and rammed me the second I’d withdrawn my ax, pouring on the heat from its fire-spout as it used its greater weight to simply push me towards the screws.

Dammit!

I slammed the trigger on my ax again, hoping to power it up quickly, all while trying to get myself out of SSB’s terrible momentum, but it none of my controls moved fast enough, and the next thing I knew I was shoved directly into the rotating screws as the blades took chunks out of Poly’s backside. Dammit!

Ten seconds elapsed, and SSB was forced to back off.

Mrs. Portman said something, with that smug grin plastered to her face as she worked the controls on her flamethrower, but I didn’t hear it. I didn’t care what it was. I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or if she was just playing the heel like I always had. And I didn’t care about that, either. I just knew I wanted to win.

I flanked left around the bomb-shaped bot, taking advantage of its weight and slow turn time, bathing it in flames from both my flamethrowers while my ax got itself ready. SSB kept trying to turn, and I let myself slow down just an instant.

SSB shot straight for me, and I pivoted Poly and brought the ax down on them again, slamming it directly into their flamethrower and setting loose a small explosion as a spark lit against the leaking fuel. I pried my ax free and went on the retreat, while SSB, wobbling on its axis, crawled towards me, hoping to ram me again.

I tried the same trick again, but my ax wasn’t working- dammit, the fire must have disabled the controls! SSB rammed me, pushing me towards the rising kill saws in the center of the box, and all I could do was pour on the fire as the larger bot shoved me around like a ragdoll.

I spewed fire, fire, fire, until finally, SSB started to smoke in all the wrong places and its engine gave off a sickly, wheezing, sputtering sound. It slowed down, slower, slower, slower. Half an inch from the kill saw behind it, Poly managed to stop SSB in its tracks, bringing the bomb-shaped bot to a halt entirely.

Once the kill saws went down, I drove out of the way, and the countdown started as SSB found itself entirely stationary.

“-3, 2, 1- that’s the fight!” the ref decreed as the alarm sounded and the crowd went wild.

I was half-tempted to do my usual fist-pump, to scream and jeer, to make a big stupid macho display of myself… But I didn’t want that. So instead, I gave a simple curtsey and then ambled over to the interview.

“So, Kate Calloway, two wins in a row, and this the first one as the new you,” Derek Benes said into the microphone. “Did everything go according to plan tonight?”

“Oh, there was no plan,” I admitted, scratching the back of my head and laughing awkwardly. “I’d never faced the Portmans before, I was mostly just winging it. Except for the ax, that was planned, but even then I had to improvise.”

“Anything to say to your upcoming opponents now that you have a winning record? The regular season is winding down, and you’re still gonna need another win to make it into the tournament.”

I looked for words within, looked for a version of my usual bullshit that wouldn’t give me dysphoria. Maybe… Maybe I should just try to do the opposite of what I would normally do. What was the worst that could happen?

“Just that I’m really looking forward to fighting each and every one of you,” I said with the sincerest smile I could muster. “May the best bot win!”

Derek bid me farewell, and I pulled the sledge carrying my bot into the pits. Half of the wires were fried, and the ax was gonna need sharpening, and I’d gone through a month’s worth of flamethrower fuel in the span of three minutes, but… But dammit, I’d won, and I hadn’t made an ass of myself for a change. I was proud of myself.

It was a new feeling.

“Hey there,” Mrs. Portman said as she walked up to me.

Crap. This was gonna be difficult.

“Hi,” I managed.

“Good fight,” she said. “It was.”

“Don’t think you’ll win a second time, though,” she said, that passive-aggressive smile never leaving her face. “I underestimated you tonight. It won’t happen again.”

“Well, hopefully you trying to dox someone on social media won’t happen again either,” I said, planting my feet and putting my hands on my hips.

“I’d hardly call what I did doxxing-”

“Maybe not, but I wouldn’t call it a good thing to do, either.”

“Oh please, I did you a favor.”

I scowled. “A favor? You call that a favor?”

“Yeah,” she said, folding her arms behind her back. “Forced your hand and made you think about how you present yourself, carry yourself. Given that you’ve clearly never spared a moment’s thought to that before this past week, I’d say I did you a favor.”

I gritted my teeth. Unbelievable; this jerk was trying to turn this around on me. I bunched my fists together, feeling the screams coming from deep within my belly.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind. “I think what she’s trying to say is that she would have appreciated you asking her before you did something like that,” Zeke said, putting his arm around me and standing by my side.

A fluttering joy sang through me as I stood with him, as he protected me, as he helped me protect the person I wanted to be.

“Hm. Well, agree to disagree,” Mrs. Portman said as her husband came over and stood beside her.

The four of us all glared at each other, until finally, I started laughing. The Portmans stared at me in confusion and irritation for a moment, and then Zeke started laughing too. The Portmans left while Zeke and I kept standing there laughing like idiots.

Faith approached us from the back entrance and said, “Uh, what are you two laughing about?”

“Oh, just how ridiculous this all is,” I said.

“And how ridiculous those two are,” Zeke said.

“And how ridiculous I am,” I said.

“Hey now, come on, what did you say about being mean to yourself?”

I exhaled heavily. “That I’d do it less?”

“Yes, exactly. You won tonight, and you had a successful debut. We should celebrate.”

“Sounds great!” I said. I turned to Faith and said, “You wanna come with?”

She hesitated, but finally said, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?” Zeke asked.

“I’m sure,” she said, heading for the exit. “I’m gonna go home and get some sleep. You two have fun though!”

She smiled, and she waved, but as she left, I couldn’t help but notice the sadness in her eyes.

#original fiction #serial fiction #web novel #trans woman #trans protagonist #wlw #comedy #romcom #romance novel #romantic comedy #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #rivals to lovers #battlebots #tournament arc #indie author #bookblr #self promo

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bigcirclenews · 24 years

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Between the Stork and Mortimer’s, Baby Café Society Packs Serafina

Mike Ghadamian is a regular at Serafina, an Italian restaurant on Madison Avenue at 79th Street. Sitting at a candlelit

Mike Ghadamian is a regular at Serafina, an Italian restaurant on Madison Avenue at 79th Street. Sitting at a candlelit table on a recent Friday evening, he took a sip of his complimentary drink and pointed to the table behind him.

“See that table?” he said in a raspy voice. “That’s table No. 50. That’s our table.” A waiter stopped to pat his back. “They know me very well here,” Mr. Ghadamian told a guest. He ordered “the usual,” penne alla vodka. “I haven’t changed my dish in months,” he said.

He smiled, revealing a mouth full of braces. Mike Ghadamian is 15. His complimentary drink: a Diet Coke.

Over the past two years, Serafina has served as a kind of dining club for the youth of the Upper East Side. On weekend nights between 7 and 10 p.m., the top floor of the bi-level restaurant–a pretty room with a brick floor, wicker chairs and a canvas roof that can be removed in the summer–fills up with pink-cheeked teenage Manhattanites chowing down on chicken paillard and $15 brick-oven pizzas as they make their plans for the latter part of the evening. Unlike their suburban counterparts, who make do with burgers and fries at McDonald’s, they aren’t fazed by Serafina’s $15 minimum food charge. “They all have mom and dad’s gold card,” said the restaurant’s general manager.

“It’s probably one of the more expensive places I go,” said Alison Goldfrank, a freshly scrubbed blond freshman at the Spence School. “But the food is amazing, so the prices are reasonable for food that great.”

“It’s a social place, and it’s nice,” said Jessica Haber, a freshman at Horace Mann School, who said she eats at Serafina almost every weekend. “It’s a bit pricey, but the food is really good,”

“The inside is cool and the food is awesome,” said Olivia Palermo, a freshman at St. Luke’s who used to go to Nightingale. “I go there maybe three times a month, and I usually see like five people I know.”

As he tucked into his penne, Mike Ghadamian looked happy. He’d had to go to a Shabbat family dinner at his grandmother’s house before he was released to go to his favorite restaurant.

At about 7:15 p.m., a redheaded 15-year-old boy, dressed in a baggy sweater and loose jeans, sat down with his older sister, a strawberry blonde wearing a gray shirt tucked into slim-fitting jeans. She looked at the menu while he talked on his cell phone. A few minutes later, two 16-year-old boys wearing baggy jeans and large sweatshirts arrived, high-fived the redheaded kid, then sat at their own table nearby. Three young women with long, straight hair came in and began self-consciously smoking cigarettes. By 8 p.m., two thirds of the room was filled with Upper East Side teens.

“Here’s how it works,” said one sophomore from Collegiate School. “We go with a big group of friends, everybody takes out their cell phones and puts them on the table, then we get a phone book and figure out where we’re going that night.”

“I always go with big groups,” said a blond, ponytailed freshman from the Dalton School. “And they yell at us because we all share plates and it’s really confusing.”

“You can always tell the high-schoolers because they travel in packs,” said Shalonda Harris, one of Serafina’s night managers. She said that nine times out of 10, she directs the teenagers to the top floor.

“I’m pretty sure they reserve the top floor for teens,” said Ms. Goldfrank, “because whenever I go with my dad, we sit on the first floor.”

The favorite menu item of most of the teens is Penne Alla Stolichnaya. Which brings up the question: If they like vodka in their pasta, are they getting away with ordering it in their drinks?

The general manager said the restaurant is strict about making sure that they only serve those with proper identification.

“They do ask for ID, but a lot of my friends have fake ones and they get served all the time,” claimed one freshman.

“Oh, they never serve us alcohol,” said Mr. Ghadamian.

“Of course not,” added his friend Steven Chase, a sophomore at the Horace Mann School.

The staff doesn’t seem to mind the teen explosion.

“So far they have never been a problem,” said Abul Waliullah, who has been waiting tables at Serafina for four years. “They’re really nice and they tip O.K.”

Mike Ghadamian finished his penne and wiped his mouth. “I get treated like a king here,” he said. “I didn’t even order these Cokes.”

N.Y.’s

Manhattan’s pampered young males are in a panic. They may have money, they may have love, but they have no Kiehl’s.

For several weeks now, well-scrubbed young men in New York City have been cursing the mysterious disappearance of Kiehl’s Ultimate Men’s After Shave Moisturizer, the cultishly popular yellow, odorless facial lotion made by the venerable cosmetics manufacturer (established 1851).

“Of course I know about it [the Kiehl’s shortage]!” said a 32-year-old Manhattan attorney who, after confessing to keeping an “arsenal” of Kiehl’s products, asked that his name not be used. “It kills me!”

A Kiehl’s spokesperson confirmed the after-shave shortage, describing it as national. “We’ve been out of stock for six weeks,” she said. “We have requests daily for it.”

Face-Men Frenzy

Manhattan’s pampered young males are in a panic. They may have money, they may have love, but they have no Kiehl’s.

A Kiehl’s spokesperson confirmed the after-shave shortage, describing it as national. “We’ve been out of stock for six weeks,” she said. “We have requests daily for it.”

The spokesperson said the shortage was the result of the demand for the after-shave outstripping its production. She estimated that it would be back on shelves in New York by March 1.

But that is small consolation for the legions of New York men who–following years of post-pubescent, Aqua Velva agony–had finally settled upon a lotion for life.

“I love it!” publicist Jake Spitz, 26, said of the after-shave, which retails at $13.50 for four ounces and $20.50 for eight ounces. “It’s the first product I put on my face that worked.”

Mr. Spitz said he had recently tried to pick up some Kiehl’s after-shave as a 26th-birthday gift for his friend, the restaurant-guide scion Ted Zagat, but couldn’t find it anywhere. (Kiehl’s rations out its products to its own shop on Third Avenue and 13th Street, and to department stores like Barneys, Saks and Nieman Marcus.) He was forced to settle for other Kiehlsphernalia.

But other Kiehl’s after-shave devotees refused to take no for an answer. “I heard rumors that there was some being held under the counter at Barneys–if you know the right people,” said Boykin Curry, a 35-year-old investor. Alas, a reporter who checked that story out the next day was told firmly that no, the store had no more Kiehl’s.

–Deborah Schoeneman

Flash Fame

My girlfriend Rachel is one of those people who reads magazine listings, even though, to be honest, we hardly ever go anywhere. That explains how she found our photograph one night while flipping through the front pages of the Feb. 5 issue of The New Yorker .

We were on page 17. The photograph, by a man named Gus Powell, captured a crowded midday scene in front of the Amoco gas station at the busy northwest corner of Broadway and Houston Street. At the center was a lanky young black man surveying the intersection from his perch atop of a pair of pay telephones. Above him, on a billboard to his right, was a giant, shirtless, hairless Calvin Klein model.

I appeared in the foreground of the picture’s left side, looking upward with my left hand cupped over my eyes. Unshaven and wearing a hat advertising the then-hip, now-defunct Internet company Pseudo.com, I looked a tad haggard. Rachel, clad in overalls, was walking to my left, looking off in another direction.

“At first I just thought, ‘Hey, that blond woman looks a lot like me,'” Rachel said, “‘but she’s way too skinny.’ Then I thought, ‘That is me.’ A while later, I noticed you.”

“We’re famous,” I said.

“No,” Rachel replied. “We’re art.”

Everyone had their own take on the photograph. Rachel’s boss wanted to know what she was doing downtown at lunch. Rachel’s aunt, from Utah, had a practical take: “Wow–look at those gas prices!” she said. My dad e-mailed, comparing my physique unfavorably to the Calvin Klein model’s. (“Maybe the photographer was going for a

juxtaposition,” another person offered.)

These reconstructions were as good as ours: Try as we might, neither Rachel nor I could remember the moment at all.

When I met Gus Powell at the Ariel Meyerowitz Gallery in Soho, he understood our confusion immediately. “Kind of a Rashomon thing?” he said.

Mr. Powell was 6 feet 5 inches tall, lanky and 26, the same age as me. He looked like Milhouse van Houten from The Simpsons grown up: floppy hair, round glasses and a cashmere V-neck sweater-vest.

He grew up on East 58th Street and works as a freelance photo editor at The New Yorker (a -ha !). He said he takes most of his photographs while wandering around the city on his lunch break. (Hence the title of his series, “Lunch Pictures.”)

“You always find something that’s this ridiculous New York thing,” Mr. Powell explained. This time he was attracted to the man perched on the phone booths. Mr. Powell said he stood on the curb and began snapping pictures. “The thing that I always love is, some people check him out and some people don’t. Like, your girlfriend is checking him out.”

Mr. Powell continued: “For me the payoff is, when I’m walking and I see something remarkable, I don’t want to just nail the remarkable thing. I want to keep it in context … so then you become just as interesting. Because you help. You made the picture much better.”

I looked down at my shoes. “Well, thank you very much.”

On the way in, I had noticed that someone had already bought the photograph for $600. Apparently, that’s what being published in a major magazine can do.

This weekend, Rachel and I have a project: We’re cutting out page 17, framing it and hanging it in our bathroom.

#news #world #viral #breaking news #viralpost

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pregnant-piggy · 4 years

Text

Snow

Remus Lupin x reader part of the dad!marauders series

Words: 6.5k

A/N: this is the most fluffy thing i have ever written. I am so happy with this. Also, re-introducing Olivia in this fic, whom we have seen before in Butterflies. She’s back because i absolutely love her and y’know for the sake of the story... Anyway, I hope you like it! Comments much appreciated! Love ya

Dinner was silent without you. The table set for two instead of three made the air in the room miss some of that cosiness you always brought along. The small light from the lamp over the dining table was reflected on the silver forks and knives that lied on the table. Two glasses with water stood next to the white plates, waiting to be emptied.

You were gone for the weekend with your mother. Your father had gotten sick a few months ago and now he was finally better, you had wanted your mother to be able to take her mind off things. You had taken her to a spa, something she always enjoyed.

This morning you had left and Olivia had been in a sad mood ever since you had stepped foot out the door. Though she went to play and acted like everything was fine, Remus could see that she wasn’t really. He was surprised with how well she could keep up that happy mask; she was only four years old after all.

Olivia sat in her own chair, that her grandpa had made specially for her. She stared at the back of her dad in the kitchen, her eyes focused on his shoulders and the way they moved to the music he had put on. She played with the stuffed wolf in her hand, the animal that had been with her since she was one year old. The colours had faded lightly in the past three years as if it had lied in the sun for a while. The grey was no longer the dark grey it used to be and the softness was now gone. But Olivia had it with her at all times.

‘Five more minutes, darling,’ Remus said and he sat down at the table in front of his daughter.

Olivia continued to play with her wolf and Remus felt a familiar, warm feeling spreading in his body. You had given the stuffed animal to her on her first birthday. Though your daughter didn’t know the real reason behind the gift, Remus did and his heart softened every time he saw Olivia play with it.

The oven pinged and Remus shot up from his chair. He was hungry; he had worked later than usual forgetting that you weren’t around to remind him to make dinner. It had been Olivia who had opened the door of his library and asked him when dinner was going to be ready.

A frozen pizza, that Remus had found at the bottom of the freezer, had been put in the oven quickly.

Olivia was quiet during dinner. She stared at her plate and picked the mushrooms of her pizza with her little fingers. The little ring that used to be yours glimmered in the light. She always wore that even when she was asleep. Sometimes Remus worried that it could hurt her in her sleep, but you always reassured him that nothing could happen.

‘Don’t you like the pizza?’ Remus asked carefully, knowing the littlest thing could upset his daughter; something she had gotten from you.

‘I do,’ Olivia sighed and dropped her slice of pizza on her plate.

‘What’s wrong, baby?’

‘I miss mommy,’ Olivia said, her voice soft and the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Remus got up from his chair and kneeled down next to Olivia. He put both his arms around her and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder. His big hand rubbed her warm back and he felt a few tears through his shirt.

‘Oh, Liv,’ Remus spoke softly. ‘Mommy will be home Sunday. Don’t you want to tell her how much fun you have had with daddy?’

Olivia snuffed into Remus’ shoulder and nodded. She lifted her head from his neck and looked at him. He wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs and placed a kiss on her forehead, like he used to do to you when you were sad. Olivia smiled and she turned back to her plate, eating the pizza with a small grin, while she talked to the stuffed animal that sat next to her on a chair.

Remus sat back in his chair and watched his daughter. She truly was the light in his life. He could not imagine a life without her, without her bubbly presence and her cute smiles or her giggles.

The rest of the night Olivia wasn’t sad anymore. It was Friday night so that meant that she could stay up a little later than usual. While she sat in Remus’ lap, her eyes were glued to the TV. A lousy talent show played on the screen, while Remus read his book and tried to answer Olivia’s questions at the same time.

It was nice to have some alone time with his daughter. Though it happened enough that he was alone with her, it rarely was a whole weekend. Usually it was you who was alone with Olivia, whenever Remus was away at the full moon.

Remus knew Olivia’s personality through and through; he had had years of practice with you. Your daughter was the exact copy of you to Remus. She had Remus’ eyes and hair, but the rest of her was just like you. The same nose, the same lips and the same way you smacked them when you didn’t like something. You both could act crazy in the same way and Olivia’s laugh was the same as yours.

‘Daddy?’ Olivia asked and Remus looked up from his book. Olivia had turned around between his legs and was looking at him with her big eyes. ‘What are you reading?’

Remus opened his arm so Olivia could rest against his chest and started to talk about the book he was reading, glad that it wasn’t such a complicated book. Olivia listened with interest and asked more questions. You always said that Olivia was just as a nerd as Remus and though Remus always debated the term ‘nerd’, he knew that you were right. His daughter was a smart little girl and she was interested in a great deal of things.

It wasn’t until Olivia yawned that Remus realised how late it was. He quickly closed his book and placed it on the couch while he took Olivia in his arms. He walked with her through the cold hallway and up the stairs, wondering why it was suddenly so cold.

While Olivia attempted to brush her own teeth, Remus looked for her pyjamas. He found them on her pillow neatly folded and a little note from you with a heart on it on top of them. He took the clothes and placed the note back on the pillow. With the pyjamas in his arms he walked to the bathroom, where he found Olivia on the floor with her toothbrush in her mouth, while she brushed the mouth of her stuffed wolf with another toothbrush, luckily without toothpaste.

Remus chuckled and sat down next to her. He took her small face on one hand and asked her to open her mouth so he could brush her teeth with the other hand. Olivia sang the how to brush your teeth song and Remus laughed when she accidentally bit on the toothbrush.

When he was done he helped her rinse her mouth and then he helped her into her pyjamas. Olivia shivered when her warm sweater was pulled over her head and she was left in her underwear. She crossed her arms over her body and Remus didn’t fail to notice the goose bumps all over her skin. He quickly warmed the pyjamas with a quick wave of his wand and Olivia stared at the wooden stick with her big eyes. Magic wasn’t new to her at all, you and Remus had both agreed to let your daughter get used to it while also fitting in with the muggle world, but every time she saw it her eyes lit up. She seemed to have forgotten about the cold as she asked Remus to do something.

‘Do the bubbles!’ she exclaimed and she clapped her hands in excitement as Remus casted bubbles to fly around in the small bathroom.

Once Olivia lied in bed and Remus had read her a bedtime story, she closed her eyes and fell asleep promptly. It had been a long day for her; this morning she had woken up early and it was late at night now.

Remus pressed a kiss to her head and tucked her in once again, making sure she would not get cold. Not that it would help, his daughter turned so much in her sleep that it was inevitable that the sheets would lose their embrace around her.

- - - - -

The cold night even reached to Remus when he lied in bed. He had his sweater on and even woollen socks, but his toes were still cold and he couldn't suppress a shiver every time he moved under the duvet. He couldn’t fall asleep. He didn’t know that was because it was cold or because you weren’t next to him. He had gotten so used to falling asleep with your arms around him, that it was hard to do so when you weren’t around. No matter how tired he was, he just couldn’t catch any sleep.

So instead he just lied with his eyes closed in his bed, the sheets pulled up to under his chin. It had been cold this winter, but not this cold yet. With a little luck there would maybe even be some snow tomorrow. Then he would have something to do with Olivia.

The little girl loved the snow. It didn’t happen very often that there was snow, the last time had been last year and then it was only for two days. It might have been the happiest days of Olivia’s winter. The big smile that was on her face, Remus could clearly remember.

He didn’t when he had started to drift off, but he was woken roughly by a tug on his duvet. He turned his head to see what was going on and he was faced with Olivia’s teared eyes. Immediately he sat up in his bed and pulled his daughter against his chest. She sobbed lightly in his sweater. He wrapped his arms around her and hid her cold feet under the blanket after feeling they were like ice.

‘What is wrong, love?’ Remus whispered as he placed a kiss on the top of Olivia’s head.

‘I miss mommy so bad,’ she said with a trembling voice and she hugged her wolf closer to her little chest. ‘And I’m cold.’

‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Remus mumbled. He lied back down and placed Olivia next to him. He pulled the sheets up to her chin and he wrapped his arm around her. She crawled closer to his chest and lied her head next to him on his pillow.

They lied in silence for a while, the only sound the soft sobs of Olivia, that calmed down more and more. Remus wiped away the tears from her face and rubbed her back, hoping to warm her up a little. He felt the fatigue taking over him, but he had to stay awake at least until Olivia had fallen asleep.

But Olivia did not seem to have any plans to fall asleep soon. She stared with her big eyes at Remus, who had more trouble to keep his eyes open with the minute.

‘Go to sleep, Liv,’ he mumbled and stroke his big hand over her face so she would close her eyes.

But she opened them again and now started to play with the neck of Remus’ sweater. Her little fingers ran up and down over the hem and tucked on it ever so often. Remus chuckled lightly and took her hand in his. She looked up to him and he closed his eyes for a second.

‘Close your eyes, love,’ Remus tried again and now Olivia closed her eyes, but she opened one slightly and looked at Remus. A giggle escaped her mouth as Remus sighed and shook his head. ‘Come on, Olivia! If you go to sleep now we can play in the snow tomorrow.’

Remus had said the magic words. Olivia’s eyes widened and she stared at Remus.

‘Snow? Is there snow?’ she asked excitedly.

‘There will be if you go to sleep now,’ Remus said placing a kiss on Olivia’s forehead.

She closed her eyes and soon she drifted off to sleep. Her steady breaths filled the cold bedroom and Remus finally let the sleep take over him. He knew he should carry Olivia to her own bed, but he was too tired to do so. So instead he fell asleep with his daughter hugging onto his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she dreamt of the snow.

- - - - -

As the morning sun shone through the crack between the curtains, Remus woke up with two small hands hugging his waist. He carefully removed the two hands and placed them on the stuffed wolf that lied at Olivia’s feet. He lifted the duvet a little, enough so he could slip from it and tucked it around his daughter’s small figure. He walked out of the bedroom and went to the kitchen, hoping that pancakes would make Olivia forget that her mother wasn’t around.

Soft music played through the kitchen as Remus began to make the pancakes. He was stirring the bowl when he heard soft footsteps into the kitchen. He turned around and smiled at Olivia, who stood in the doorframe clinging onto her stuffed wolf as she watched Remus with her big eyes. She slowly made her way over to her chair and as she climbed into it and dropped the wolf, she sighed dramatically. Remus couldn’t keep from chuckling, but quickly turned around and stopped as she saw the glare his daughter was giving him.

‘Do you want pancakes, Liv?’ Remus asked over his shoulder when Olivia had climbed into her chair.

Remus couldn’t see her face, since he was still bowed over the kitchen counter with his back to his daughter, but when she spoke he heard that there was a small smile on her pretty face.

‘Yes, daddy.’

Olivia climbed off her chair and ran towards Remus, hugging her arms around his legs. Remus had to hold onto the counter to not fall over at the sudden weight and he laughed softly, stroking his hand over Olivia’s head. She looked up to him with her big golden eyes and her precious smile. The smile that could make Remus do anything.

‘Here,’ Remus said and he gave to plates to Olivia. ‘Bring these to the table, while I make the pancakes.’

Olivia wobbled on her feet under the weight of the heavy plates. She placed the plates, what was for her, carefully on the table and then returned to Remus for a next task. Keeping one eye on the pancakes in the pan and the other on Olivia as she was setting the table, breakfast was soon finished.

Olivia was sitting in her chair, her knife and fork in her hands and the wolf on the chair next to her, like it had been at dinner last night. She was talking enthusiastically to it as Remus placed a platter with pancakes in between them. Olivia stopped talking as the scent of food reached her nose and a big smile appeared on her sleepy face when she saw the pancakes.

‘What do you want to do today?’ Remus asked in between bites.

‘Play in the snow!’ Olivia exclaimed and she looked over her shoulder through the window.

It had indeed snowed last night, just as Remus had thought. The street was hidden under a blanket of snow and the light blue sky that stretched out over the neighbour houses, made it seem like a little fairy tale and not the street they were living in. The edges of the window were frozen, little ice crystals making their way up to the middle of the glass.

Olivia kept staring outside, the piece of pancake on her fork staying in front of her mouth. She watched the old man that lived two houses away walk through the snow with his dog. The small animal jumped in the snow, barking happily when his legs disappeared in the snow. Olivia laughed happily and only turned back when the dog and owner had disappeared. Her pancakes had turned cold, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She wolfed the rest of her breakfast in and then looked up to her dad.

‘Done,’ she said, with her mouth full of food. She went to grab her glass with orange juice, while Remus took the last pancake on the plate. Olivia chewed fast on the pancake in her mouth, her hands clasped around the glass. She swallowed her last bite and drank her juice quickly.

‘Not too fast, you’ll get stomach ache,’ Remus said, looking at how the orange juice rapidly disappeared in his daughter’s mouth.

‘No, I won’t,’ Olivia said with her mouth still in her glass, shaking her head.

Remus sighed; he would never win this battle. Olivia was just as stubborn as you, though you always said that she had that from Remus. Maybe that said enough.

Olivia placed her glass back on the table and looked at Remus. He chuckled at the juice-moustache that had formed above her upper lip and reached over the table to wipe it away with his thumb.

‘Why don’t you pick out clothes, while daddy cleans up?’ Remus said, licking the orange juice off his finger.

Olivia fled quickly from the kitchen and Remus heard her stamping on the stairs. He collected the plates and glasses and put them in the sink, doubting whether he should do the dishes now or later. Later would be fine, he decided and left the kitchen, following his daughter’s tracks on the stairs.

- - - - -

‘Daddy look what I can do!’

Remus looked up from the bench at the front door. Olivia and him had gone outside now two hours ago and while Remus was more than done with the cold, he didn’t want to cut the fun Olivia was having. Remus hadn’t seen her this exited in a while and it warmed his heart to see his daughter with such a big smile on her face. She was jumping up and down, making snow angels in the snow and with the help of Remus she had made a snowman, who currently stood watching Olivia collect snow with her small hands and throw little snowballs at the tree in the front yard.

‘Good job!’ Remus said and he waved at Olivia as she hit the tree with her snowball.

Remus’ hands slowly had lost any feeling and the same was about to happen to his feet. He was sitting in his thickest coat on the wooden bench near the front door, a book in his hand that was long forgotten as he had noticed that Olivia was quite clumsy when it came to snow. She had fallen at least twelve times now and though it wasn’t like she had hurt herself, Remus was worried that one time she would. Besides, his fingers were too cold to even turn the pages.

After another half hour Remus thought that it had been enough. With any luck the snow would still be there tomorrow and then Olivia could play outside again. But right now Remus felt like he was made of ice and he knew that Olivia was cold too; in the small minutes that she had come to Remus to tell him something he had seen that her cheeks were getting more red and her lips more purple.

She didn’t even complain when Remus suggested they went inside for lunch and hot chocolate. She followed him back inside the warm house and sighed when the door was closed.

‘What is the matter?’ Remus asked as he took off his coat and then helped Olivia with hers.

‘Who is watching Mr. Snowman now?’ she pouted as Remus unzipped her dark blue winter coat.

‘Maybe you can look at him from the window in the living room,’ Remus said as he took of her mittens. Olivia jumped and nearly hit Remus in his face with her hands. He chuckled and bowed forward so she could lean on him while he took off her boots. Her cold hand grabbed the fabric on Remus’ sweater and the other was placed on his head when she lost her balance.

‘Left foot,’ Remus said and Olivia lifted her foot. He took off the boot and sock, that was completely wet. ‘Right foot.’ The other foot followed and the same happened. The bottom of Olivia’s leggings was wet too and Remus ordered her to take them off.

‘I’ll get you warm, dry clothes,’ he said, pulling a weird face as he smelled the sock, making Olivia laugh. ‘You go into the living room and see if Mr. Snowman is still there.’

Olivia ran off to the living room in her pink underwear and sweater and Remus quickly returned with warm pants and two different socks. Olivia was stuck at the window, her eyes focused on the snowman outside and she waved at it as if to say goodbye when Remus walked into the room.

‘I don’t know what mommy does with your socks, but I can’t find two the same,’ Remus sighed and he sat down next to Olivia on the couch. ‘Elephant on right or left?’

The girl put out her right foot and Remus put the sock on. The sock with the giraffe followed on her other foot and when the pants were put on Olivia ran back to the window, this time taking her wolf with her. Remus watched his daughter talk to her stuffed animal and admired how happy she looked. He never could have imagined to have a wife that loved him unconditionally let alone a daughter that was just as dear to him. Sometimes he wondered why he deserved it all, how could someone like him have such a happy bubble around him?

‘Do you want hot chocolate?’ Remus asked and Olivia turned around and cheered as she ran to the kitchen.

Remus followed her quickly and was surprised to find Olivia looking in the right cabinet. As she pulled out the cocoa and stood on her toes to place it on the counter, she started to babble to Remus about how you always made hot chocolate on the nights Remus was away.

- - - - -

The afternoon was filled with merry. Olivia played on her own for a while, until she wanted to know what Remus was reading. He took her in his lap and together they read a for a while. Though Olivia didn’t quite understood what the book was about, her reading was definitely improving.

Though Olivia would go to Hogwarts when she was older, Remus and you had wanted her to learn the basics, just like you two had done. You as a muggleborn and Remus as half-blood had both enjoyed the education of primary school. You wanted the same for your daughter. She was keen to learn and home school was discussed, but both you and Remus had a job and the option of going to a muggle school seemed the easier option. Plus, in that way Olivia could make friends better than when she was at home all day.

She was only four and would turn five in May, so she would not go to school until after the upcoming summer, but Remus had taken the job to teach her how to read. Luckily Olivia was a smart student and the reading went easily on her. It wasn’t much that she knew, she was yet so young, but Remus thought that every little bit would help her. And so, once a day, mostly before bed, he would read with her. It didn’t have to be long, just a page of her favourite book was enough.

After the reading, Olivia watched a film while Remus concentrated on the newspapers of this day, for which he hadn’t got the time to read yet. He was deep in an article about Gringotts new policy, when the phone ringed. Olivia was so concentrated on the talking bees from the movie that she didn’t hear it.

‘Remus here,’ Remus said and he walked to the kitchen, not wanting to disturb his daughter.

‘Hey Rem!’ your voice sounded back and Remus smiled.

‘Hey love. How is it going? Are you having fun?’

‘So much. Mom and I went to get massages this morning and we did face masks this afternoon. Oh, it is so nice here, Rem. We even have access to mimosas throughout the whole day!’ you giggled.

In the background Remus could hear your mother giggle along with you and he sniffed happily in the phone. ‘How many did you have?’

‘Just a couple,’ you said back, Remus hearing by your voice that it was definitely more than a couple. ‘How is it going at home? I heard it snowed.’

‘It did,’ Remus answered. ‘I spent the entire morning outside with Olivia and now she is watching a film. She did miss you last night, however.’

‘I miss her too. And you. I couldn’t sleep last night, though the mimosas did help a bit.’

‘I couldn’t sleep either. But we’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t worry about us, we are having fun, love,’ Remus said and he looked up when Olivia entered the kitchen. She stood hesitantly at in the doorway, her small hand resting on the door frame.

‘Who is that?’ she asked curious and tilted her head a little.

‘It’s mommy,’ Remus answered. ‘Do you want to talk to her?’

‘Mommy!’ Olivia yelled and she ran over to the phone. Remus put Olivia on the chair with the phone in her hand and then turned to the kitchen to make dinner. He listened to Olivia talk about the snowman she had made and the snowballs she had thrown at the tree.

After a while, Olivia gave the phone back to Remus after giving kisses to it. She ran back to the living room, probably to continue her film. Remus took back the phone and pressed it between his ear and his shoulder.

‘She seems to be having fun,’ you said and Remus could hear your smile through the phone.

‘I know that it isn’t how our weekends usually go, but she missed you and I couldn’t stand to see her sad.’

‘Don’t worry, dear, it’s fine.’

‘Listen, I have to finish dinner and you have to get back to your mom,’ Remus said and he put down the knife so he could take the phone in his hand. ‘I will see you tomorrow, don’t rush.’

‘Okay, I love you,’ you said.

‘I love you too.’

- - - - -

Olivia stood on a stool at the sink in the bathroom, watching herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Remus stood behind her, brushing her wet hair. He had taken her in bath, hoping it would tire her a bit so she would fall asleep fast. And when he looked at her and saw her tired eyes, he realised that it had helped.

He put the brush aside and helped her brushing her teeth. She opened her mouth, but it closed more and more the longer it took and Remus had to ask her to open her mouth every time. She giggled when Remus reached the back of her mouth and the toothbrush tickled the back of her tongue. Her eyes squeezed shut and stayed there more a moment before she opened them again. Remus took the brush from her mouth and declared that it was enough for now.

In her room, Remus helped her into her warmest pyjamas, hoping that this time she wouldn’t wake up from the cold. In her pink with crocodiles pyjamas, Olivia pressed a wet kiss to Remus’ cheek and then lied down in her bed. He tucked her in tightly and her eyes closed as soon as the blankets were put over her. Remus brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her softly on her forehead. Olivia’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled at her father.

‘I love you, daddy,’ she mumbled.

‘I love you too, sweetheart,’ Remus whispered back.

Olivia put out her arms to take Remus in a hug and he leaned forward, his knees on the floor. Olivia’s small arms were wrapped around his neck and he felt her hot breath on his neck. He pulled back and placed a quick kiss on her nose. She giggled at the feeling and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Remus brushed his hand through her hair one more time and smiled at his daughter.

‘Goodnight, Olivia.’

Olivia closed her eyes and Remus left her room, keeping the door ajar so he could hear when she called for him. He went downstairs and looked at the mess in the living room. The worst part was that it was mostly his mess. Olivia had put her toys away in her toy box in the corner of the room. It was Remus’ mess that made the room look terrible. Two coffee mugs on the table, next to a few parchments and a book. On the couch lied the newspapers that he still hadn’t finished and pair of socks. The TV was still on and a dim light flickered into the room. On the desk in the corner of the room, was an even bigger mess. But Remus’ workspace was always a mess and no matter how often you asked him to clean it, he never did, knowing that it would be the same mess the minute he would start working.

So instead of being bothered by his desk, Remus cleared out the coffee table, turned off the TV and took his newspaper. He reread the article about Gringotts, since he had already forgotten what it was about, and realised that the rest of the paper was rather a lack of information.

Remus sat down at his desk, hoping to maybe get some work done. But his paper stayed empty, his mind was too tired to come up with a review now. The book he had to review lied in front of him and Remus studied the cover.

After fifteen minutes he gave up and placed himself with a cup of tea on the couch, zapping through the channels. He found a film and soon was involved in a plot of a murder, flight and criminals. The sounds of fighting sounded through the living room as Remus’ eyes were glued to the TV. Though Remus wasn’t a particular big fan of thriller movies, sometimes he could enjoy them. It was a hour or two of not thinking and just watching.

It was past midnight when the film finished with the ‘good guy’ killing the ‘bad guy’. Since the ‘bad guy’ only had killed one man, Remus wondered how good the ‘good guy’ was. He turned off the TV, turned down the lights and went upstairs.

He checked Olivia’s room and found his daughter fast asleep, her stuffed wolf in her hand and her hair around her like a halo. This was one of Remus’ favourite views. There was something so peaceful and innocent about his daughter in her sleep. It reminded him of you, the way she grabbed onto the sheets and the pucker on her lips.

Soon Remus lied in his own bed, looking through the crack between the curtains at the dark sky. It was clouded; the dark grey clouds hid the dark blue sky filled with stars. This was Remus favourite time of the month. The full moon had been two weeks ago, meaning he had yet two weeks before the next one would come. It also meant that at this moment there was no moon at all in the sky and something about that thought comforted Remus.

With his mind running off to the dark blue heavens, Remus fell asleep quickly, not bothered by the cold or your absence this night.

- - - - -

Sunday morning was spent in Remus’ bed. Olivia had crawled into your spot and she talked with her dad about what she had dreamt. Then she proceeded to wonder about Mr. Snowman and how he had slept. Remus chuckled as the listened to his daughter’s imaginary stories and closed his eyes for a moment.

‘Daddy, you’re not listening!’ Olivia cried out and she dropped her body on Remus’ chest to get him to open his eyes.

‘I am, Olivia, I am!’ he sputtered and he pushed Olivia off him.

‘Why were your eyes closed?’

‘I can listen and close my eyes at the same time,’ Remus defended himself.

Olivia sat cross-legged on the bed and shook her head with a serious look on her face. ‘Mommy says that when you close your eyes you’re not listening.’

Remus raised his eyebrow at his daughter and then burst out into laughter. He took Olivia in his arms and peppered her face with kisses. She started to giggle and tried to free herself from his grip. She squirmed in his arms and after a while Remus lessened his grip and she crawled away from him. Panting and laughing she sat at your pillow, staring at Remus with sparkly eyes.

‘Did it snow?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Remus answered; he hadn’t left his bed yet.

‘Can’t you look?’

‘I can look, but so can you.’

‘But I’m too small!’ Olivia exclaimed and a smirk crossed on her face.

Remus shook his head chuckling and he pulled the sheets of his body. Immediately the cold found its way to his warm body and he shivered. Quickly he put on his sweatpants and a different sweater. He helped Olivia off the bed and lifter her on his hip. She pulled the curtains aside and looked outside.

‘Snow!’ she exclaimed happily when she saw the white backyard. She pressed her nose to the glass and looked at the snow.

Remus put her down again and she ran to her room, taking the same clothes as yesterday and throwing them on Remus’ bed. She pulled her pyjamas over her head and struggled to put the sweater on herself. Remus sat down on his knees in front of her and guided her head through the hole. An enthusiastic head popped out from the neck of the sweater and Remus laughed before pressing a kiss to Olivia’s forehead.

‘Can I play outside? Please?’ she asked.

‘You can, but first we need to eat breakfast, darling,’ Remus said as he helped Olivia into her leggings.

She didn’t waste a minute and as soon as her sock were on, she rushed downstairs to the kitchen. Remus followed her and found her in the kitchen with the box of cereal in her hands. He took it from her and placed it on the table.

‘Go sit down.’

Olivia followed his order and sat down in her chair, for once haven forgotten her stuffed animal. She waited patiently for Remus to put down two bowls and give her a spoon. He put the cereal in her bowl and the milk followed after. She dove into her breakfast and spilled some milk on the table in doing so. Remus cleaned it with a flick of his wand and Olivia looked amazed at the now clean spot.

After breakfast Olivia ran outside and Remus had to call her back to put on her coat and mittens. As he zipped up the coat while Olivia was jumping up and down in her excitement to go outside, he said: ‘I am going to do the dishes, will you be careful?’

Olivia nodded and captured her dad’s mouth with a quick kiss before she hurried outside. Remus stood in the door and watched for a moment as Olivia started to dance around the snowman. After making sure nothing could happen to her, Remus turned back inside and put on the kettle as he charmed the dishes to do themselves. He glanced at today’s newspaper and then decided to take it outside.

With his tea in one hand and the newspaper under his arm, Remus sat down on the bench again, making a promise with himself not to stay out so long as yesterday. But his promise was soon forgotten as he watched Olivia play. He charmed his tea to stay warm so his fingers wouldn’t freeze this time.

Time passed quickly. Olivia was making snow angels in the snow and decorating them with things she found in the garden and Remus was reading the newspaper, that just like yesterday, had not much in it. His attention was pulled away from an article about illegal transport across the Atlantic Ocean by a creak of the fence. He looked up and was surprised to see you.

‘Mommy!’ Olivia cheered when she noticed her mother. She got up from her spot, where she had been on her knees drawing faces in her snow angel, and jumped in your arms. You dropped your bag and caught Olivia.

‘Liv, be careful with your mom,’ Remus said as he came closer.

You shifted Olivia over to the side and kissed Remus. He took your bag and brought you inside. Olivia was talking happily about what she had done this weekend and didn’t stop when you put her down and took off your coat.

‘Come on, darling, give mommy some time,’ Remus chuckled as he took of Olivia’s coat. ‘Why don’t you go to the kitchen and grab the things we need for the hot chocolate?’

Olivia smiled and ran to the kitchen, nearly slipping on her wet socks. Remus hung up her coat and then turned to you. He wrapped arms around you and you buried your face in his sweater.

‘I didn’t expect you so early,’ Remus said as you pulled away and took off your shoes.

‘It was this train or one later at night and actually we were both a bit done at the spa. So we decided to take the early train. I dropped mom off at home,’ you said as you walked with Remus to the kitchen.

There you found Olivia proudly standing in front of the counter. She had the cocoa in her hands and was waiting for Remus to help her. He lifted her and placed her on the counter. Together they made the hot cocoa while you sat at the dining table and talked about your trip.

When the hot chocolate was done and all three of you were sitting at the table, Olivia continued to talk about her weekend. Remus smiled at her and nodded along. He looked at you and you glanced back with a smile on your face. It was good to be home.

- - - - -

taglists:

dad!marauders: @wassup-peoples @iamak20

Remus: @racerparker @susceptible-but-siriusexual

marauders: @secretsthathauntus @ronniethelost @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @hxrgreeves @wecouldbreakthedistance @valentina-007

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @bloodblossom73 @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites @ananad1

let me know if you want to be added/removed!

MASTERLIST

#dad!marauders #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x you #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #marauders #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #dad!remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n

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rahleeyah · 3 years

Text

A little follow up to this post; Elliot's new partner comes over for dinner.

The next day, Stabler comes in looking a little sheepish.

"Doing anything Friday?" He asks.

They've only been working together a month or two, and they don't really talk personal stuff, as evidenced by the fact that Stabler introduced him to his not-wife and didn't even bother to mention her connection to him. Stabler's never asked him about his weekend plans. Mark is immediately wary.

"Why?"

Stabler laughs.

"Listen, Liv wanted to know if you wanna come by for dinner. The boys have sleepovers that night."

Idly Mark wonders if all six of their kids are boys and where the hell they found six families willing to host them for sleepovers. Maybe some of them doubled up. His first instinct is to say no, but honestly, he's curious about her. Captain Benson. Olivia. Liv.

"Yeah all right," he says.

"You should bring your girl. If you want."

Mark raises an eyebrow at him, and Stabler lifts his hands in a "don't shoot the messenger' kind of way.

"Liv said I should ask," he says, like that explains everything.

"You always do everything she tells you to?"

Mark just wanted to tease him about being whipped, but Stabler's face gets kinda serious.

"Yeah," he says. "There's a lot of shit in my life went wrong that would've been right if I just listened to her the first go round. Took me thirty years but I've learned my lesson."

Thirty years. That's a hell of a long time, Mark thinks. Thirty years, six kids, four grandkids, and working the job the whole time. He doesn't know how they're still alive.

"Her name's Kelly," he says. His girl. "I'll bring her."

Stabler gives him a smile that's all teeth.

So Friday rolls around and Mark and Kelly turn up at the address Stabler gave them with a bottle of cab bc he says Liv only drinks red. It's a nice little house in Queens, on a nice little street, two big ass black suvs parked out front. His and hers tanks.

"Are you nervous?" Kelly asks him. He wants to say no. Why should he be nervous? He spends all day, every day, and some nights, too, with Stabler. He likes the guy. But then he's never had dinner with a Captain before. She definitely makes him nervous.

"Nah," he says, and kisses Kelly quick before they get out of the car.

Stabler answers the door in jeans and a black button down and no shoes. He's comfortable, in his own home, and Mark can smell dinner from the doorway.

"Elliot Stabler, this is Kelly (can't be arsed to pick a last name)."

"It's so nice to meet you," Kelly says as they shake hands. "Mark talks about you all the time."

"Back at you," Stabler says with a grin. It's bullshit, Mark hasn't told him anything, but he can't help thinking the man just did him a favor by lying. Kelly is smiling ear to ear.

"We brought this for you. Mark says your wife likes red."

"She's not my wife," Stabler says reflexively as he takes it. "But she'll love it. Come on."

There's bookshelves everywhere. Mark figures they must be hers, he didn't peg Stabler as much of a reader. There's pictures everywhere, too, but Stabler's walking too fast for Mark to get a good look at them. In the kitchen she's waiting for them, Captain Benson. Her heavy, dark hair is pulled back today, and she's wearing soft, casual black pants and a cream colored blouse. She doesn't look scary, at home like this. Stabler goes to her, passes her the wine with one hand and lets the other settle at the small of her back, lets it stay there while he makes introductions.

"Thank you so much for having us," Kelly says. "You have a lovely home."

Benson looks at Stabler before she answers, the two of them sharing a private smile.

"Thank you," she says. "With a seventeen year old and a ten year old in the house it usually looks more like a federal disaster area."

"You didn't have to clean up just for us, Captain," Mark says. It's partly a joke and partly a test, and she sees through him at once.

"Please," she says. "Just Olivia here."

"You're a Captain?" Kelly shoots Mark a dark look. He may have forgotten to mention that to her.

"She's gonna outrank me for the rest of our lives," Stabler says easily. His hand is still resting at the small of her back.

"And don't you forget it. Now, who wants a drink?"

They stand around the kitchen with their wine glasses while Stabler and Benson finish cooking. He does as much of the work as she does and Mark is kind of impressed, bc he didn't peg Stabler as a cook, either, but he can tell Kelly's taking notes. The conversation flows pretty easy; Benson is nice and she knows how to talk to people, and she keeps the conversation away from work, keeps Kelly engaged. But it's kinda weird seeing Stabler, who Mark initially thought was a grim son of a bitch, smiling so much at this woman he can't take his eyes off of. They carry the food to the table, settle down to eat, and at the first lull in the conversation he strikes.

"How long you two been together?"

Stabler told him thirty years already, but he wants to hear the story. He figures it's a good one.

They share a look, Stabler and his not-wife. Like they wanna get their stories straight before one of them answers. It's not a question Mark would have thought would require a dress rehearsal.

"Long time," Stabler says softly.

Olivia reaches for him under the table. She's discreet about it, but Mark can tell her hand has just landed on his knee, and it's not going anywhere.

"It's a long story," she says, and then she switches gears. It's a fascinating deflection. "I want to thank you for coming," she tells him then. "I wanted to get to know the man who's gonna be watching his back. But I wanted to wait until I knew he hadn't scared you off."

"He got a history of running off partners?"

She laughs, Stabler doesn't.

"What's the record?" He asks. He wants to know if it's true, if Stabler really doesn't work with anybody for long. There's another long, strangely communicative glance between the pair of them.

"Thirteen years," she says, very softly. Stabler reaches for her hand and kisses the back of it gently.

"Lucky thirteen," he says.

Holy shit, Mark thinks. They were partners. That's the story they don't wanna tell. They were partners for thirteen years, and now they're shacked up. It's kind of impressive.

"Mark says you have six kids," Kelly says then. She doesn't like being left out. "Is it just the two boys at home now?"

Benson's smile is a little forced. Under the table, Stabler covers her hand with his own, there against his knee.

"Yes," she says. Doesn't offer anything else. Like she's waiting for Stabler to decide how much he wants to tell them.

"My first wife-"

"Only wife," Benson says, so quietly Mark almost doesn't hear it. Stabler shoots her a wounded look. Apparently it's a disagreement they've had before.

"My first wife and I had five kids. She uh. She died. A few years ago. The older kids are grown. Maureen and Kathleen have kids of their own now. Dickie's getting married next year, Lizzie's…Lizzie. Eli's a junior this year. Liv adopted Noah when he was a baby."

It's a lot of information to take in all at once. He can tell that Kelly regrets asking. She thought it would be a safe topic of conversation; what mother doesn't want to talk about her children? She hadn't counted on the baggage. But Kelly is Kelly, and she is devoted to her optimism.

"You're like the Brady Bunch," she says.

Benson laughs out loud. Stabler relaxes, infinitesimally.

Mark can see it all in their eyes now, though. How Stabler was married to someone else, had five kids with someone else, while they were working together. How he lost her, how he grieved, how he and Olivia finally got together and made a home out of the wreckage but the memory of his wife lingers, and maybe Olivia isn't ready to assume the title she's always thought belonged to someone else. She'll live with him, fuck him, raise her kid with him - Liv adopted Noah, he said, no mention of his own involvement, like he wasn't involved at all - but she can't bring herself to be his wife. We'll get there, Elliot told him. He wonders if that's true. He feels kinda bad for the guy.

#e.o #i FINALLY figured out how to add a read more on mobile i feel so accomplished #gonna start tagging these #e.o thoughts

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Life’s Lessons - Part 4

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Self Control

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned)

Word Count: 6,612 (thoughts, song lyrics in italics)

Part Summary: After Charlie witnesses the looks between Dean and Y/N outside the school on Friday, she convinces Y/N they should go out for drinks. At the bar, Charlie and Y/N bond, as she opens up to Charlie about Dean but also her past. After several drinks, Y/N goes home drunk and gets a little help from a friend. The next day brings a little embarrassment, but also brings up feelings within Dean and Y/N, that they know they shouldn’t be feeling.

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of reader’s ex, Talk of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of a physical incident against reader, Drunk reader, Embarrassment, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), flirting, forbidden feelings

Music: Deeper in the Water by The Lone Bellow (playing in the background while Y/N is baking scene), Wherever I May Roam by Metallica (Dean and Y/N backyard scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments on this series so far! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying it! This part is a little heavier, so please read the warnings. Please share your thoughts with me, I love hearing what you all think! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Y/N took off her red glasses, smiling as she looked at her students. She could see them all flicking their eyes up at the clock every now and then, wondering when the bell would ring. She found it amusing as she tried not to laugh. It was Friday and they couldn’t wait to get out of there and start their weekend fun. She couldn’t wait herself, hoping to have some time for herself, call her family and maybe go see a movie.

Unfortunately for her students, they still had some time before they could leave, using that time to take the notes for the criteria set for their book reports. She watched as they all scribbled in their notebooks hurriedly, wanting to get out as soon as the bell went off.

“Make sure it’s personal to you” she told them as they wrote. “Books have a way of really affecting us, so I want you guys to choose something that really had a big effect on you.”

Some of them mumbled an “okay” while others nodded.

Suddenly, the bell rang, and they all sprung up at the same time. It was like how smaller children got excited for ice-cream.

“Alright, don’t all head out at the same time! You’ll plow each other out of the way!” she laughed.

“Sorry, Miss Y/L/N” one student called out.

“Have a great weekend, guys!” she called out in return.

Y/N walked out of the room as well, following them down the hallway and out of the school building. She smiled as students were being picked up by their parents, getting on the bus home or their bikes and riding home. She spotted a parent of one of her students notice her, walking over to her.

“Miss Y/L/N?” the woman asked.

“Yes” Y/N smiled, offering her hand.

“Oh, it’s wonderful to meet you, I’m Carol. Amy’s mom” she said, shaking Y/N’s hand.

“Wonderful to meet you, too” Y/N agreed.

“I just wanted to come and introduce myself and welcome you” Carol said, a bright, peaceful smile on her face. “I know it’s already been a couple of weeks, but I hope you’re loving Lawrence.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m definitely warming up to life here.”

“Well, Amy’s really fond of you. English is already her favorite subject but she’s so happy to have someone like you teaching it” Carol complemented her.

Y/N beamed, her heart soaring. It was always great to hear when kids enjoyed a subject and the way you taught it.

“She’s a great student, so that definitely makes it easy” Y/N told her.

Carol blushed, delighted by the complement for her daughter. “Well, we better go. I’m sure we’ll see you around.”

“Of course,” Y/N said. “It was great to meet you.”

As Carol walked away after saying goodbye, Y/N looked around as the crowds of children started to clear. She spotted Charlie and was about to walk over, when she noticed who she was talking to. Dean was leaning against his car, aviators on and laughing at something Charlie just said. Ben was sitting in the car, waiting for Dean. She didn’t realize that Charlie knew Dean too, but she really should’ve made the connection considering she knew Cas, and Cas knew Dean. She thought about going over there, but she didn’t want to interrupt them. Plus, after what happened the other night at dinner with him and Lisa, she wasn’t sure if she should go over there.

“Y/N!” she heard her redheaded friend call out and she knew she had to go over.

She smiled as she walked over, trying to prepare herself to be near Dean again. He looked so damn good in that moment, and she was finding it hard to look at him.

“Thanks to your car, I know you already know each other, so I don’t have to introduce you” Charlie laughed, as she nudged Y/N with her hand.

“Yeah.” Dean took his sunglasses off and Y/N saw that he was looking directly at her. She was suddenly nervous again.

Dean took her in, dressed in a black dress that hugged her body in just the right way. Her red glasses were tucked into the neckline of her dress, and he had a sudden urge to see her wearing them. Mind outta the gutter, man he thought to himself as he looked away from her.

“I didn’t realize you guys were friends” she said, as she stood in front of Charlie and Dean.

Charlie smiled as she looked at Dean. “Yeah, have been for years.”

“Charlie’s like the little sister I never wanted” Dean teased, smiling cheekily at her. Charlie punched him in the arm, and he laughed.

His gaze moved from her back to Y/N. He hadn’t been able to get her out of his head since the first time he met her, but even more so after what happened at her house.

Charlie noticed how Dean and Y/N were looking at each other and dropped her head, smiling without them seeing.

“I better go” he said, suddenly, putting his sunglasses back on. “Lisa finished work early and we’re going to Sid and Olivia’s for dinner.”

“Tell them I said hi” Y/N told him, trying not frown as she wished he had stayed longer.

“Sure thing” he nodded. He moved in to hug Charlie, kissing her head.

Y/N watched as Dean got into the car and drove off, the car roaring down the road. She turned to Charlie and her face dropped into a frown, when she saw her friend grinning at her.

“What?”

“You like him” Charlie stated.

Y/N stared at her in shock, before scoffing a laugh. “You’re insane.”

“On the contrary, I’m completely sane” Charlie countered. “And you denied it a little too quickly, so it has to be true.”

“Charlie…” Y/N trailed off, not knowing how to respond to that.

“I think we need to get a drink together” Charlie suggested. “We haven’t gotten a chance to hang out outside of work yet.”

Y/N grinned. “Sounds great.”

“Tonight?” Charlie asked.

“Name a time and place, and I’m there” Y/N responded quickly. She was excited to go out and see what Lawrence was like on a Friday night. She knew it wouldn’t be much for a small town, but she also knew she needed to know how the nightlife was here.

“Ditch the rental at home and I’ll pick you up” Charlie said, as she started to walk away. “I’ll be there at 7!”

“See you soon!” Y/N called out as they both made their way back in to collect their belongings, before they headed home.

When she got home, Y/N relaxed for a while before she needed to get ready. She freshened up and got dressed into black ripped skinny jeans and a dark mustard sweater. She put on her black heeled ankle boots, ran a straightener through her hair quickly to get the kinks of the school day out and applied light make-up. She picked up her black leather jacket and her bag, just in time when she heard two quick honks of a car horn. She picked up her keys and walked out, closing the door behind her. She walked down the porch steps and smiled at Charlie as she walked over, getting into the car.

Y/N and Charlie made their way to the town square, lined with shops and some restaurants. Deciding they were hungry too; they grabbed a quick bite to eat. Conversation over at the diner mainly consisted of work and minor things, because Y/N had a feeling Charlie wanted to talk about personal things over drinks. After they ate, they walked down the street and past a couple of dive bars, the loud music and chatter filtering out to the streets. She felt better knowing there was something going on in this town and that it wasn’t as sleepy as a place like Rhinebeck. Though Rhinebeck did have its own charms.

Y/N followed Charlie, arriving at the place where they sat at the bar. She and Charlie sat on the bar stools, the bartender immediately coming over to them.

“What can I get you, ladies?” he asked, smiling at them.

“Gin and tonic, please” Charlie replied, smiling back.

Y/N thought it over for a second before she replied. “A vodka martini.”

“Sure thing” he muttered before moving down the bar to mix the drinks.

Y/N and Charlie both took their jackets off, settling in. The bartender put their respective drinks in front of them and then went to serve other customers. Charlie picked up her glass and turned to Y/N.

“To surviving your first two weeks” she said, smiling.

“Well, thanks for making it easy for me to settle in” Y/N smiled back, clinking her glass against hers. “I really mean it. You and Cas have really helped me and supported me, so… thank you.”

“No need to thank” Charlie waved her off, taking a sip of her drink. “So… let’s get to the real reason we’re here…”

“Oh god” Y/N groaned.

“Oh yeah” Charlie smirked. “You like Dean.”

Y/N laughed a little to herself. She didn’t beat around the bush, this one.

“Yeah. I do” Y/N admitted, feeling slightly relieved to say it out loud. “At first, I really just thought it was a crush, something that would just go away after a couple of days. Then… then the butterflies stuck around and they’re not going away. Every time I see him… I just want to be near him. All the time. I know two weeks is way too soon to be feeling like this about someone I just met, but-” she explained but Charlie shook her head, cutting in.

“I don’t think the length of time matters to Oxytocin” Charlie advised her.

“I’m not quite at the love stage yet. In fact, I hope I never get there because that’s going to get me into trouble” Y/N countered.

“Which is unfortunate because I think you two would be adorable together” Charlie confessed, a guilty grin on her face.

“What?” Y/N scoffed, not quite believing what she just heard.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… the way he was looking at you, even just for a few seconds, I haven’t seen him like that in a really long time” Charlie said, a sad smile on her face.

“Oh god” Y/N groaned, her face dropping into her hands. “Charlie, what are you doing to me?!”

“I know, I know” Charlie shook her head, not knowing what else to say.

“I can’t” Y/N shook her head, taking a large sip of her martini.

“I know, and I wasn’t telling you to go for it at all. I’m sorry” Charlie apologized, sipping her drink.

“It’s okay” Y/N reassured her, patting her back. Once they had both calmed down, Y/N turned to her friend. “Oh, they came over for dinner on Monday. I wanted to thank Dean about the car, and he came over with Lisa.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, a little shocked. “She actually came over?”

Y/N nodded. “Seemed like she didn’t want to be there, though. I mean, she was okay, she didn’t say much, which I don’t really care about, but she was kind of cold with Dean.”

Y/N looked at Charlie and saw that she looked like she wanted to say something but was contemplating whether she should or not.

“Okay, look…” Charlie started, trying to find her next words carefully. “I’m just going to tell you this, and it’s in no way saying that you have to do something, I just think you need to know, now that you’ve brought this up.”

“Okay…” Y/N didn’t know where she was going with this, but she listened anyway.

“Dean and Lisa have never been good for each other. They had a one-night thing, it was great for both of them, but that’s where it should’ve ended. Things were fine at the start, but once they got past the one-year mark, is when things started turning. Two years in, it got pretty bad. I mean, Dean doesn’t know for sure… but he thinks that she might’ve slept with someone else when she went home to visit her family. Things haven’t been right for a while now. Between not trusting her and them fighting at the drop of a hat all the time… it should’ve ended a year ago” Charlie explained.

“Wow” Y/N sighed, shaking her head.

“The only time we see him happy is when he’s at work or when he’s with us and she’s not around. Hell, I don’t particularly think she likes any of us, and we’ve tried really hard to include her. She never really wanted to do anything with us and would only come out with Dean if she wanted to prove things were okay. After a while, we just stopped trying to get her to like us” Charlie went on.

Y/N couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Charlie or Cas. “Seriously?”

Charlie nodded, a glint of anger behind her eyes. “She’s never encouraged him with the business, she’s always put him down for his choice in friends. She claims it’s to make him see that he’s better than them, but she’s just forcing him to think things he never would.”

There was a long silence between them, as Y/N processed everything Charlie just told her. She and Charlie were only just starting to become friends, so she could’ve easily said she didn’t believe her. She did, though. Charlie looked genuinely hurt, which meant everything was true.

“Fuck” Y/N whispered.

“Yeah” Charlie said, raising her eyebrows. “Dean’s generally a happy, care-free guy but for over a year now, I know he’s been hurting. He just hides it behind his larger than life personality. I just want to see him as his old self again. He thinks that if he stays, maybe things will just fix themselves, but they won’t. They haven’t yet and they certainly won’t the longer he stays in this relationship.”

“Wow” Y/N sighed again.

“So, that’s all I want to say” Charlie finished. “I’m not saying you have to do anything about it, but I want you know the reality, and maybe not hate yourself so much for having the thoughts you’ve been having.”

Y/N nodded. Hearing it made her feel slightly better, but worse now that she knew what he was going through.

Another silence fell between them as Y/N thought about everything Charlie said.

“It scares me” Y/N looked down into her glass, shaking her head. “Feeling something so quickly for someone I just met. I’ve never felt a connection like this before. Not even with Ethan.”

“Ethan?” Charlie asked, confusion written on her face.

Y/N bit her lip. She didn’t realize she had never mentioned him to Charlie. “My ex.”

Charlie nodded slowly, immediately understanding. “I’m guessing things didn’t end well if you’re so far away from New York.”

“No, they did not” Y/N muttered after a sip of her drink. “He uh… he was really controlling of me. He’d tell me how I shouldn’t dress up and be too revealing, but then somehow… somehow, he’d tell me that I didn’t try hard enough either, that I wasn’t attractive enough. My job wasn’t good enough. I… I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t… I didn’t think it was something that was a problem, no matter how much anyone told me it was. I thought he’d… he’d say the things he did because he just wanted me to be better, but it was to stroke his own ego.”

“Scumbag” Charlie muttered; her face morphed into anger.

“Yeah” Y/N laughed, bitterly. “I couldn’t see it until the night he hurt me. I thought he was doing those things because he loved me, but love isn’t making a person hate themselves to make yourself feel better.”

“You said he hurt you…” Charlie trailed off, worried that she’d uncover feelings that Y/N had buried.

“Just once, he pushed me and I ended up in hospital with a concussion” Y/N said, her words choking around the lump in her throat. “Once I was better, my parents helped me get my things out of his apartment. It wasn’t an easy transition; I kept seeing him everywhere. I tried to get a restraining order against him, but his family had money and probably paid someone off, so he never got charged with one. He eventually left with his new girlfriend, but that didn’t mean it got better for me. It took some time, a year of therapy before I left, but I realized that I wasn’t going to let anyone do that to me ever again. That place… I didn’t want to leave my family but there was too much of him there. So… now I’m here.”

“I’m glad you are. Y/N, you’re… shit, you’re fucking amazing and I hate that someone made you feel like you’re not” Charlie said, quietly, her eyes watery.

“I really know how to tell a story, huh?” Y/N jested, trying to lighten the mood again, as she blinked to keep her tears from falling.

“I’m glad you told me, that you could trust me with that” Charlie said, a small, empathetic smile playing at her lips.

“I’m sorry” Y/N shook her head, feeling awful at her sudden confession of her past. “I shouldn’t have brought it up when we’re here to have a good time.”

Charlie took her hand in hers. “No, please don’t apologize. I really am glad that you did. I’m so glad I know you.”

Y/N smiled at her. She knew Charlie would hear the story and wouldn’t pity her but be there for her and listen. She held Charlie’s hand, squeezing it. She was glad to have met the woman sitting in front of her.

“You know… Dean would never do that to you, right? To anyone” Charlie told her.

Y/N nodded, closing her eyes. “I know. I don’t know how I know, but I just see him, and I know that he’d never do that.”

“And that’s what scares you, right? That he’d never do that, that you feel so much and that he’s with someone else?” Charlie asked.

Y/N looked at her and didn’t say anything. Her face said it all. Charlie just nodded, before taking the last sip of her drink.

“I need another drink” Y/N said with a small chuckle, having finished her martini.

Charlie just smiled as she flagged down the bartender.

Another drink turned into two more after that. Y/N understood what Charlie said clearly, but that didn’t mean she was going to take the words and run with them. Why risk everything on what could just be a crush? She was wrong, 2 weeks was absolutely a ridiculous amount of time to suddenly fall for someone. She was overthinking things.

She was thankful when Charlie dropped the subject of Dean, having said what she needed to about how she felt towards Lisa, knowing Y/N would interpret everything the way she needed to. She also felt a huge pressure lift off her chest when she told Charlie about what happened with Ethan. It had been a year since the break-up and since she had started therapy. Her last session before she left had left her feeling relieved. Coming to Lawrence had been the best decision, even with her situation with Dean. Charlie was amazing and was glad she spoke up and told someone who she really trusted.

They eventually moved onto talking Charlie and Dorothy and Y/N found the redhead incredibly cute in that moment, as she gushed about her girlfriend.

Y/N knew that once the fourth martini went down, she had to get home. She was well and truly drunk and all she wanted to do was sleep it off. Just forget them ever talking about Dean.

As they left the bar, she stumbled slightly as they walked down the road. She needed to get an Uber and be alone in her thoughts now, her mind reeling with their conversation but vodka, too.

“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” Charlie asked, concern all over her face.

Y/N chuckled as she shook her head. “I’m sure, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay” Charlie agreed, reluctantly. “Message me as soon as you get home.”

An Uber quickly pulled up a few moments after she called it, and Y/N got in. She smiled and waved at Charlie. “Thanks for tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you Monday” Charlie smiled.

Y/N leaned back against the seat, looking out the window. She really didn’t need man drama while she settled into a new town. She had had enough of it back home in her previous relationship, that one almost ruining her mental state. She was still recovering, even if had been a year since they broke up. Memories of him and imagining him around town, even after he left, were what made her decide to leave too. The last thing she needed was to be with someone. That being said, someone could argue with her that it was time to move on and find something better, something more meaningful.

Well, that something would have to come from somewhere else because it sure as hell wasn’t going to come from Dean. As much as she was attracted to him, he was with someone. No matter how unhappy the relationship was. Her mind floated to something Charlie told her. That it was possible that Lisa cheated on Dean.

He was sweet and caring, nurturing and compassionate. Gorgeous as hell and insanely hilarious. Who could ever cheat on him? People had their flaws, but that didn’t mean you give up on a person. His flaws couldn’t be as bad as her ex’s.

The Uber pulled up outside her house. Y/N steadied herself as much as she could as she got out. The car pulling up caught the attention of Dean, however, as he was sitting on the front porch, beer in hand. He watched as Y/N stumbled up the stairs of her porch and tried to open the door to her house.

Dean put his beer down on the stoop and got up from the stairs, walking across the street. As he walked up her porch stairs, Y/N turned around and smiled at him, indicating to Dean that she was quite drunk.

“Dean” she slurred happily, her eyes sparkling.

He tried not to laugh as he walked over to her. “Doing okay there, sweetheart?”

“Sure am” she giggled in her drunken state. “Just trying to get my door open.”

Dean watched as she tried to put the key in but kept missing the keyhole. He stepped forward and took the key from her hand, putting it into the lock and opening the door with ease.

“Thanks” she beamed.

As she went to walk through the threshold, her foot caught the edge and she stumbled. With quick reflexes, Dean caught her arm and pulled her into his body.

“Whoa, Y/N” he exclaimed, cradling her to his body.

She let out a loud cackling laugh, completely unaware of her near injury. Knowing that this wasn’t going to end well if she kept at it by herself, Dean bent down and lifted her legs up as he cradled her body. He lifted her into his arms as he carried her into the house, trying not to dwell on how good she felt in his arms.

“Ooh” she gasped, as her arms wrapped around his neck. “You’re very strong, Dean.”

She couldn’t help but lean her head on his shoulder, the intoxicating scent of cologne driving her crazy.

He ignored that as he walked down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Dean gulped as he looked around, the realization that he shouldn’t be standing in her bedroom hitting him suddenly. He quickly walked to the bed and laid her down, watching her eyes flutter as the alcohol she had consumed took control.

“Have to… have to text Charlie” she mumbled, the alcohol making her sleepy.

Ah, so that’s who she went out with he thought as he took off her shoes and pulled the covers over her.

He picked up her bag and fished around quickly, finding her phone. He didn’t look in, knowing that a woman’s handbag had things in there he had no business seeing.

Y/N unlocked her phone and handed it to him, flinging her head back to her pillow.

Dean bit back a laugh as he messaged Charlie as Y/N.

Hey, made it home safe. Thanks for tonight.

He added that in because if she was this drunk, then clearly she had a great time with his friend. Who wouldn’t?

Dean placed her phone on the nightstand and was about to walk away when he heard her stir.

“You’re really sweet, Dean” she mumbled, only one eye looking up at him as her face was smooshed to her pillow. “Why can’t all guys be like you?”

Dean shook his head. She was really out of it. “I wouldn’t say that, Y/N. I’m not someone to be compared to.”

“I think you are” she said, a soft smile on her face. “I think you’re something special, Dean Winchester.”

A smile spread on his face, but it dropped quickly. She wouldn’t remember saying it in the morning, so it was best not to dwell on it.

“Goodnight, Y/N” he whispered.

“I could get used to you in my life” she whispered, as she drifted off into slumber.

Dean felt a pang in his heart at her words. She may have been drunk, but it had been a while since someone had something like that to him. He couldn’t let her words affect him like that, though. He was with someone else and he needed to make that work again.

Dean slowly walked out of her room and back down the hall. He took out his wallet and took out the Advil tablets he kept in there, leaving them by her coffee machine. He picked up a napkin and quickly scribbled a note on it, before leaving her house. Hopefully she wouldn’t remember all of that in the morning and they could avoid the awkwardness that would follow.

The sunlight from the windows streamed into Y/N’s room. It warmed the covers she was wrapped in, causing her to stir. She groaned as she lifted her head, feeling the heaviness of last night’s drinking session with Charlie. She sat in bed as she tried to recall what happened last night. Her eyes widened as she remembered, everything quickly rushing to her head.

Dean had helped her into the house. Dean had most likely helped her into bed. Dean had been in her bedroom.

She couldn’t remember if any words had been exchanged. Had she said anything that would cause her embarrassment?

Y/N slowly got out of bed and picked up her robe, wrapping it around herself. She picked up her phone and walked out of her bedroom, into the kitchen, as she needed coffee as soon as humanly possible. She looked at the time. It was 10 in the morning. She had really been knocked out last night. She walked over to her coffee machine and was about to start filling it, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

A slip of Advil tablets and a note laid next to the machine. She smiled as she picked up the note, scribbled in all-caps.

HOPE YOUR HEAD DOESN’T HATE YOU TOO MUCH IN THE MORNING.

-D

Her stomach flipped as she bit her lip, reading over the note again. She liked his handwriting. It said so much about him.

She quickly took the Advil before she made her coffee and breakfast, two eggs and a little bacon. You had to have bacon on a Saturday morning, especially if you were hungover. That’s what she felt.

The rest of her afternoon consisted of paying bills and doing some work for her classes, once her head was feeling slightly better. She made a mental note to actually go see a movie next week with Charlie. Maybe they could invite Cas’s girlfriend along, as she was dying to meet Meg. After doing her work for the day, she decided to do a little baking. Saturday afternoon baking was something she did often back home, and she wanted to keep that going here in her new house.

Y/N decided on making an apple pie, one of her favorites. As she got all the ingredients together, she decided to make two, wanting to take one over to Dean as a thank you for helping her last night. Hopefully he liked pie. She turned on one of her softer playlists, as cooking or baking needed some kind of music in the background and something soft was good for her head right now.

An hour later as The Lone Bellow graced her ears, she took out two beautifully golden pies from the oven. She put them on the kitchen bench and went to shower, having still been in the same clothes from last night.

Once she was freshened up, she walked out in dark blue skinny jeans, a white tank top and a pink and white plaid shirt over the top. She took a red and white checked cloth and wrapped it around one of the pies, making sure it stayed warm as she walked over. Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she shrugged on a light jacket to shield her from the light breeze. It was starting to get colder and she wondered what winter would be like here.

Y/N left her house and walked over to Dean and Lisa’s, pie in hand. She was a little nervous and hoped that Lisa wouldn’t be there, so that she could talk to Dean alone. She was slightly ashamed of herself; he was technically a parent of a child she was teaching, and he saw her drunk. She really hated herself for it and hoped that they could talk and come to an understanding.

She quickly walked up the porch steps and rang their doorbell. She waited patiently for a few seconds, before she rang the bell again. Again, she didn’t hear anyone coming for the door. Even the Impala wasn’t in the driveway. They had probably gone out as a family. As she walked back down the porch steps, she heard some music and clinking sounds coming from the back of the house. Wondering if maybe Dean was at home, she walked around the corner to their backyard, the sounds of Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam becoming louder as she got closer. The sight that greeted her caused her eyes to widen and her heart to beat wildly in her chest.

Dean was leaning over the engine of his car with the hood open. He was wearing blue jeans that hung on his hips in the most perfect way, highlighting his cute butt. His dark grey t-shirt defined his physique, the material stretching across his chest and biceps. His arms and face were covered in grease from the car, but that only added to the hotness he was showing at that point. When he turned around and noticed her, he smirked which just killed her dead on the spot.

“Hey, I didn’t hear ya coming out here” he said, walking over to her, turning the music down a little as he walked past his little radio.

She blinked a few times, trying to get out of the trance he put her in. “I rang the bell a few times but then I heard you out here.”

He nodded as he jerked his head towards the car. “Yeah, I gotta work on her from time to time, make sure she’s still runnin’ properly.”

“Well, she’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t want her to fade away either, if I was you” she smiled.

He smirked as he looked at his priced possession. “Dad would tear me a new one if I ever did.”

She laughed a little before a silence fell between them, only the sounds of the song being heard.

And the road becomes my bride And the road becomes my bride I have stripped of all but pride So in her I do confide And she keeps me satisfied Gives me all I need And with dust in throat I crave Only knowledge will I save To the game you stay a slave

Now was as good a time as to bring up what she needed to.

“Dean, I just wanted to say thank you for helping me last night” she started but he waved her off.

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart” he smiled.

He really had to stop calling her that if she was ever going to get anywhere with this. If only he knew what that did to her.

“I know it might’ve felt like just a nice gesture, and it was, but… Dean, I’m really ashamed and I really, really hope you don’t see me differently now” she confessed.

Dean frowned, not sure what she meant. “Why would I do that?”

“It’s just that… I’m a teacher, and I’m supposed to be a certain way. You’re practically a parent to a child in my class, and you shouldn’t be seeing me like that, like how I was last night-” she rambled but the feel of his hands on her shoulders stopped her.

“Y/N, it’s really okay. I’d never tell anyone about that. I mean, shit. You gotta let loose once and a while, too. Maybe someone else would judge you for that, but I never would” he told her, his voice calming her.

“But-” Dean shook his head when she protested.

“Honestly, Y/N. It’s fine. That’s just between you and me. Okay?” he reassured her.

She sighed in relief. “Okay.”

“Good” he winked at her.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she looked down, trying not to think about that wink.

“It’s just… I didn’t say anything stupid to you, did I? If I did, I’m so sorry” she apologized.

Dean remembered everything she said last night. It had kept him up for an hour and a half as her words circled around in his thoughts.

“Nope” he lied. “Though you did mutter something about finding Christopher Walken sexy.”

Y/N eyes widened. “What?!”

Dean guffawed loudly, shaking his head. “Oh my god, you should see your face.”

She reached up and smacked his arm, causing a small “ah” to leave his lips but he kept on laughing, as he rubbed his arm.

“You’re such an ass” she shook her head, trying not to smile at the sound of his laugh.

His laughter died down as he composed himself. “That was too easy.”

“I don’t think you deserve this pie now” she gestured to the wrapped-up dish in her hands.

His eyes lit up as he looked between her and what was in her hand. “Pie? You-you made me a pie?”

“Yeah, I did, as a thank you for last night but I don’t think I want to give it to you now” she pretended to be upset, riling him up.

“Y/N…” he said, looking her right in the eyes. “Please.”

Jesus. She was putty in his hands. This wasn’t good. She couldn’t do this with him. In that moment, all she could do was hand over the pie with a polite smile. She couldn’t let him think that she was wanted to keep going on this banter of theirs. That was dangerous and she wouldn’t be that person.

She quickly handed it over. “Since you asked so nice.”

His eyes and smile grew brighter, as he giddily lifted one corner of the cloth and smelt the cinnamon and apple.

His eyes rolled back as he moaned lightly. “Damn, that smells amazing. Thanks, Y/N. Seriously.”

“You’re welcome” she said, laughing slightly at his reaction. “I take it you like pie.”

“Like?” he scoffed. “More like obsessed.”

“Good to know” she giggled as she watched him take another whiff. “I better go.”

“Oh, before I forget. Your car should be ready on Wednesday” he told her.

She smiled with a sigh of relief. “Amazing, thank you.”

“So, I’ll see you at the shop on Wednesday” he said, his thumbs rubbing over the cloth around the pie. He was itching to dig into it.

“Yeah” she nodded. “Bye, Dean.”

“Bye. Thanks again” he lifted the pie as he thanked her.

Y/N smiled as she walked away, rounding the corner and disappearing.

As soon as she was gone, Dean walked into the house and put the pie on the kitchen counter. He washed his hands and wiped them down, his mouth salivating as the delicious scent of the pie wafted through the kitchen. He opened a drawer and took out a fork, unfolding the cloth from around the pie dish. He licked his lips he looked down at it, stabbing his fork in and digging up a big bite. He blew on it and shoved it into his mouth. The flavors exploded as he closed his eyes in delight.

“Fuck, that’s good” he mumbled to himself as he swallowed down the mouthful.

It had to be the best pie he had ever had, not including his mother’s because that wasn’t a fair fight. Did Y/N really have to be so perfect that she made an amazing pie, too? How the hell was he supposed to stay away from her if she did things like this?

You just have to he thought as he wrapped the pie up again, for later. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing with her.

If this was ever going to remain friendly, then he had to stop turning on the charm, even if that was second nature to him. She made everything so easy. Things hadn’t been easy for him in a long time.

Between what she said in her drunken state to him (she may have been drunk, but she still said it. So, it had to be true, right?) and now bringing him this pie, it was getting harder to resist her. He knew was starting to feel something for her, even if it had only been a couple of weeks. He hadn’t felt like this since the first time he was with Lisa. Once they actually got together, the spark fizzled out quite quickly as comfortability took over. Now, even that wasn’t there.

Maybe it’s only meant to be comfortable. Maybe the spark isn’t meant to stay as you get comfortable with your partner. Though, that didn’t seem right to him. If you were really in love, then wouldn’t the spark stick around?

He had never been more confused about what to do, but he knew what the right thing was. It was to stick it out with Lisa, and that’s what he needed to do.

No matter how much he thought about Y/N.

As Y/N walked towards her house, her smiled dropped. What happened back there wasn’t just a friendly neighborhood chat. That was more. Much more. That was something two people did when they’re getting to know each other as more than friends. That was banter and flirting and messing around with each other with silly jokes. There were looks that made her tingle all over, and polite words that comforted her.

He made everything so easy. What she was beginning to feel for him was so much more than what she had felt before. This feeling wasn’t even there the first time she met Ethan. She knew she was fooling herself when she said this was just a little crush.

As she entered her house, Y/N was determined.

Dean Winchester was not going to have an effect on her.

He just wasn’t.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @perpetualabsurdity

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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assembledherethevolunteers · 3 years

Text

The Nanny Named...

A/N: Hi all! So,it’s been a while. I have been in a real nostalgic mood lately and totally binged ‘The Nanny’. Annnd then all I wanted to was write a story about it. So I’ve been writing a multi-chapter story with Y/N as Fran and Gwil as Maxwell. I hope you all enjoy this prologue. Any feed back would be appreciated! And if you’d like to be tagged, please let me know! Love you!

Pairing: Producer!Gwilym Lee x fem!Reader

Summary: You need a job after you walk out of your last one. Your friend sends you to an interview and it…doesn’t quite go as planned.

Warnings: Cursing, some angst, and cheating

You leaned over the counter, trying to make out what your boyfriend had written down for the specials for the night. Why couldn’t the man learn to write like an actual grown-up?

“Oooh, Y/N,” one of your best friends, Mel, came in. “Have you heard?”

“Heard what?” You replied, not looking up.

“J.C. and Erika? They just got engaged.”

That got you attention. You looked up at her. “Are you serious? They’ve been dating for what? Three seconds?”

Melanie laughed, taking her coat off. “I think closer to three weeks, but yeah. Isn’t that crazy?”

You sighed, looking back down at the notes. “To each their own, I guess.”

You were happy for them, on some level, but it was a bit hard when two people that you considered ridiculously obnoxious were engaged in less than a month but you and your boyfriend had been dating for almost four years and were still not living together.

“Think that’ll make Kurt move any faster?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing that will make him move any faster. We’ve talked about it countless times. He’s just happy right where we are.”

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

You huffed, not disagreeing. You had wanted to at least living together by now. Maybe not married (you still weren’t even sure if you wanted to get married), but at least the notion that the relationship was going somewhere.

“Maybe you should bring it up to him again,” Mel suggested as she tied on her apron.

You thought about it. Maybe you should. It had been a few months since the two of you had had any kind of conversation about it. Every year when your lease was up for renewal, you brought it up just to see if you should renew. And Kurt always told you ‘yes’.

“Yeah, maybe. But for now, I’ve got to figure out these damn specials he’s decided to jot down like a first grader after a lunch of cake and ice cream.” You grabbed the paper and then knocked on the door to his office. “Kurt!”

“Yeah, babe?”

You went into the office to see him staring at his phone. He glanced up at you for a second before going back to his phone.

“Hi, sweetie, can you decipher this chicken scratch for me?” You walked over and sat up on his desk.

Kurt sat his phone down, face up, and took the paper and squinted at it himself. “Uh…I…huh. Ribs of some kind. I’ll have to go look in the fridge quick. Be right back.” He pressed a kiss to your temple before getting up and leaving the office.

You swung your legs, waiting for him to come back, thinking about the dinner rush on the Friday night that was going to hit. But hey, at least the tips would be good.

And then you saw something light up on the desk.

You glanced down to see Kurt’s phone on full brightness. With a notification from Tinder. Saying Kurt had 3 new messages waiting for him.

You picked up the phone and stared at it, fighting back tears. You’d had a feeling something like this had been going on, but it was a totally different story when it was staring you in the face.

“Beef ribs are the special tonight.”

You stood up and shoved Kurt’s phone at him. “Great. Maybe whoever these 3 can serve it!” You stormed out.

“Wait! Y/N!” Kurt chased after you. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out!”

“Oh, fuck off!” You yelled at him, turning on your heel to yell at him. “This isn’t how you wanted me to find out!? What the hell kind of excuse is that?!”

“Can we discuss this back in the office?” Kurt offered quietly.

“No, because there’s nothing to discuss.” You untied your apron and threw it at him. “I quit and I am DONE with you! FOUR YEARS! I’ve wasted four years of my life on you in this stupid dying restaurant!”

“It’s not dying!”

You stared at him stunned. “That’s all you have to say? Four years down the drain and all you care about is this damn rat trap?!”

“It’s not a…!” Kurt took a deep breath. “You know what? Fine. Go ahead. We don’t need you around here!”

“Obviously!” You screamed before grabbing your coat and stomping out.

You walked all the out to the street, hailed a cab, and got in the back. You gave the driver your address and then fell apart.

“Um…a…are you alright, dear?” The cab driver asked you, glancing in their review window.

You could only shake your head. “Okay, well, there should be a box of tissues under my seat. Help yourself.”

You reached down and grabbed the box, pulling out tissues. You blew your nose and wiped your eyes.

“Just put them in the trash when you’re done.”

You nodded your thanks, making a mental note to give them a big tip.

The rest of the time the two of you were silent as you tried to make yourself somewhat presentable so your roommate wouldn’t ask what happened. You were not in the mood to talk about it.

The driver pulled up to your building and told you the total. You paid and started to make your way out before they called to you.

“Whatever it was, I hope it gets better.”

You gave them a smile and wave before you shut the door and started to into your building. You ran up the stairs instead of taking the risk of running into a nosy neighbor on the elevator. You got into your apartment and collapsed on the couch. You started sobbing into your pillow.

How on Earth could he do that to you? Sure, the two of you hadn’t gone beyond dating but four years?! You had given four years of your life! Not just romantically but you’d worked your ass off to help with his restaurant. You’d hired nearly all of the servers! And three of the cooks! Who the hell was he to kick YOU out?

You woke up to your roommate, Olivia, coming home, not sure how long later.

“Y/N? What are you doing home? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

You sat up, your entire face felt swollen.

“Oh, Y/N,” Olivia sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you. “Did something happen at the restaurant?”

You tried to explain what happened, but you couldn’t get the whole story out without bursting into tears.

“Oh sh, sh, honey,” she rubbed your shoulder. “I know. He’s a scumbag. I’m so sorry.”

You just nodded, crying into her shoulder.

“Do you want me to call Rosie and see if she’ll let some the dogs loose in the kitchen?”

You chuckled for a moment. “Think she would? I know she’s very attached to them.”

“Well, they are shelter dogs. They deserve a good meal.”

You pulled your head up and gave her a semi-smile. “You are the best person I know.”

“If only I was available to you.”

“I can love you better than Rosie can.”

“Yeah, but can you afford an apartment in Hell’s Kitchen like she can?”

You sighed, pretending to be defeated. “I guess not. I give you my blessing then.”

“I can run down to the bodega and get some wine and ice cream. I don’t have to work tomorrow.”

“Oh good, then get something for yourself.”

Olivia pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Great, I’ll be right back.”

You laid back down when Olivia stood up.

You and Olivia spent the rest of the night drinking, eating ice cream, and complaining about Kurt. It made you feel a little better.

At nearly one in the morning, you finally stumbled to your bed, hoping that you wouldn’t dream of Kurt, the restaurant, or anything to do with your love life.

THREE WEEKS LATER

“Y/N!” Olivia announced as she came home.

“Whaaaat?” you called back to her from the couch. You’d barely left it in the past couple weeks. You’d barely even left your apartment, if you were being honest.

“I think I’ve got you a job!”

You sat up and looked at her, somewhat skeptical. “Where?”

“Manhattan.”

“Oh,” you were surprised. Olivia had been trying to get you jobs, but this was the one that sounded like it might actually be promising. “What is it?”

“Rosie’s brother has a catering gig and needs a good waitress, but the homeowners want to interview everyone individually. They want you there at 3:30 for your interview.”

You jumped up. “Are you serious?!”

“One hundred percent!”

You threw your arms around Olivia’s neck and pulled her in for a hug. “Oh thank you thank you, Ollie!”

“Ooof. You better stop thanking me and get in the shower.”

You got on the subway to make your way up to Manhattan a couple hours later. You hadn’t been there since last year when a friend of yours had their 30th birthday party at some pretentious hipster bar.

You kept glancing at the passing stations, hoping that this was going to work out. You could still hear your mother’s voice in your head telling you that you should’ve known better than to take a job at the man that you were dating’s place of work.

The past few weeks, you’d been miserable. You had barely left the apartment besides your runs down to the bodega to get alcohol, ice cream, or the minimal amount of groceries that you could afford and actually wanted. Your bank account was screaming at you before you’d left the restaurant, so as much as you’d wanted to just wallow in your self-pity on the past four years of your life that you had wasted, you needed to get a new job.

You got off at the correct station and walked up the stairs, stepping onto the streets of Manhattan. This part of the city always seemed different to you. Sure, you’d grown up in New York City, but it had been in Queens.

You walked to the correct block and took in all the gorgeous buildings that were there. It sort of took your breath away, the way the trees were just starting to bud in the spring air.

You nearly ran into somebody on the street and apologized, hoping they couldn’t tell how out of place you were.

This was insane. Who in their right mind would hire YOU to work some cocktail party that was going to have people there that blew what you paid in rent on a quick trip to Macy’s? You thought about turning around and just heading home, but then you remembered that your bank account had about $15 in it.

As you walked down the street, you were hit with a strong smell of rose, jasmine, and vanilla. It was comforting and made you a bit more confident in yourself. Like everything was going to work out, regardless of how the interview went.

You glanced down at your phone, making sure that it was the right address before taking a deep breath and walking up the stairs to the front door. You knocked and then waited.

A man in a suit opened the door. He had black hair and kind brown eyes. He seemed unsurprised to see you standing there.

“Hello, are you here about the position?”

“I am.”

“Well come in, come in, Mr. Lee should be ready for you soon.” He ushered you inside, taking your coat for you. “Would you like me to drop off your resume to him?”

You hadn’t thought about bringing that.

“Oh, um…no, that’s okay. I’ll just…get it to him if he asks for it.”

The man raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything before he lead you to the couch and gestured for you to sit down.

You sat down and waited for him to return. Or for this mysterious ‘Mr. Lee’ to appear. You looked around, amazed at how high the ceilings were.

Suddenly, there was a scream from upstairs and the pounding of footsteps coming down.

“Help! Help! I’m hurt!” A little boy with dark, curly hair came running into the room. He collapsed right in front of you, his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out.

You looked down at him, trying not to laugh. “Ya okay, hun?”

The boy opened one eye, quickly shut it again, but didn’t say anything.

“Ah, Master Aled, I believe this is the third time today you’ve passed on. I’ll make sure your father and sister mourn the proper amount,” the man appeared again, stepping over the child and coming to stand in front of you. “Miss, Mr. Lee will see you in his office. If you’ll just follow me and please don’t trip over the expired, younger Master Lee. He’ll need to get up for his Little League practice in about thirty minutes.”

“James!” The boy, Aled apparently, sat up and glared at the man, James. “You ruined my plan!”

You stood up and the two of you walked into an office. It was decorated with different awards, pieces of art. The hardwood on the floor matched the desk that was in the middle of the room. Sitting at the desk was a man writing something.

He had a dark, thick head of hair. He stood up, a pair of piercing blue eyes behind a black, horn-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a black turtleneck, gray suit jacket, and black pants.

“Hello, I’m Gwilym Lee,” he offered you his hand.

“I…um…hi,” you smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Thank you, James,” Mr. Lee told him. James nodded and started to leave the room. “Now, do you have your resume?”

James sent you a pointed smirk, before leaving the room all together and shutting the door behind him.

“Um…no, I don’t. Sorry, Mr. Lee.”

He frowned at you. “Alright, Miss Y/L/N. Well, tell me about your work history then.”

You cleared your throat. Rosie had neglected to tell you that the man you were going to work for was this handsome. “Well, I’ve worked in multiple, high class restaurants over the past ten years. I was working at my last job for nearly three years.”

Mr. Lee squinted at you, but you kept talking.

“And I’ve been a server, a hostess, and a bartender. I could work anywhere that you’d need me tonight.”

Mr. Lee took off his glasses and continued to stare at you.

“S…so, um…I can give you references if you need,” you finished lamely.

“Um…Miss Y/L/N, I believe there’s been a bit of a mix up.”

“Oh,” you replied, totally defeated. “I understand.”

“It’s just…this job is far too difficult to do without any experience and I think…”

“I mean, I…I have SOME experience. I once served at the River Cafe,” you tried to argue.

“Oh no, don’t get me wrong…”

“Daddy!” A little girl came running into the room, seemingly in tears, and hugged Mr. Lee’s arm. “Aled said that there’s a monster in my closet and then he took and threw her in the closet to the monster!”

Mr. Lee picked up the girl and placed her in his lap. “Oooh Afon, sweetheart, I’m sure he didn’t mean to…”

“Yes, he did!“

“I did not!” Aled came running in too.

Mr. Lee sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Aled, please just go get the bunny out of the closet. I am in the middle of a meeting.”

“Fine, let’s go, Afon. Daddy is a veeeery busy man,” Aled grabbed his sister’s hand and took her out.

Mr. Lee just watched them leave, a somewhat longing look on his face before meeting your eyes again.

“Miss Y/L/N, this interview was for a nanny position for my children. You see, our last one just quit and I…I’ve been interviewing people for nearly a week now and…” Mr. Lee shook his head. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear all my woes. I’ll have James see you out.”

Why had Rosie sent you here? If this was an interview for a nanny position you were WAY out of the running. You barely even liked the younger cousins that you had. Maybe you’d gotten the time wrong and they had meant to have the caterer interviews earlier in the afternoon?

You jumped up, an idea coming to your mind. “Ya know, Mr. Lee, I actually do have some nannying experience. I was a nanny for a family on my block every summer while I was in high school.”

It technically wasn’t a lie. You’d babysat for your neighbors. Once a week. When their mom had her PTA meetings. For about two hours.

Mr. Lee was shaking his head and standing up. “No, I couldn’t subject you to this. I’m very sorry. But if we ever need a caterer, I’ll keep you in mind.” He gave you a smile, coming around the front of his desk.

You sighed and stood up. “Well, thank you for taking this interview with me anyway,” you offered your hand again and Mr. Lee shook it.

“Of course, now could I escort you to the door?”

“I suppose so,” you told him.

Mr. Lee gestured for you to go through the door and followed you out of the room.

You were halfway through the living room when the phone rang. James, who had been wiping down the coffee table, quickly grabbed the phone off the hook. “Lee residence…yes…yes…oh how unfortunate…I will let him know…yes, thank you, goodbye.” James hung up the phone and looked at Mr, Lee. “That was the service. They won’t be able to send anybody tonight. They are booked solid.”

“Oh no,” Mr. Lee rubbed his temples. “That’s totally unacceptable. What happened to that woman that we used last weekend?”

“She’s refusing to come back. Something about a near death experience,” James looked over at Aled who sunk down behind the couch to hide.

You hesitated at the door. Maybe this could be your chance. Even if he just used you tonight, as long as you didn’t kill the kids, you would get paid. And probably pretty well guessing on the house. You could at least offer, you supposed.

“Um...Mr. Lee. If you need somebody for tonight, I’d be available.”

Everybody’s heads whipped around to you, all eyes wide, surprised.

“Well,” Mr. Lee ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “I don’t know. James, couldn’t you…?”

“It’s my night off, sir. Remember? I’ve got my niece’s dance recital.”

“Oh right, of course,” Mr. Lee looked you over, seemingly arguing within himself about what to do. “Look, Miss Y/L/N, I...I usually don’t do things like this, especially where my children are concerned, but I am...desperate. I’ve got a meeting with one of my biggest potential backers this evening and I need someone to watch my children. So, if you could…”

“Oh thank you! Thank you!” You pulled Mr. Lee into a hug before you knew what you were doing. “You won’t regret this! What time should I be back here?”

“Before I change my mind,” Mr. Lee muttered.

You pulled away, laughing a bit, before you heard James say something about six-thirty. You then quickly left before Mr. Lee could’ve said anything else.

You practically ran to the subway, nearly giddy. You had a job. You FINALLY had a job! You were walking down the stairs when you pulled your phone out. You had four missed calls and fifteen text messages. Just when you were going to read some of them, it started to ring. You saw it was Rosie.

“Hey, Rose, what’s…?”

“Oh, thank GOD! Ollie, she’s okay. Where the…?”

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Olivia yelled in the phone.

“In Manhattan at the interview your girlfriend sent me!”

“Nooo, you never showed up to the interview! We’ve been calling you for almost an hour now!”

You frowned at that. Why were they so upset? Rosie had sent you to the interview, how was she so confused?

“What house did you go to?”

“The one Rosie sent me to,” you told her slowly, hoping she would calm down. “1781.”

“She says she went to 1781,” Olivia must’ve relayed to Rosie. “That’s what you told me!…Soooo, funny story. You were supposed to go to 1871. That’s where the catering job was.”

“It’s fine! I got a job anyway! I’ll explain when I get home, but I’ve got a job tonight!”

“What?...She got a job by going to the wrong house….I don’t know! She said she would explain it when she got home…When will you get home?”

“As soon as the subway will let me.”

The whole way home you felt like you were floating. You were hoping that you would at least get paid enough to buy some groceries.

How were you going to take care of two kids tonight though? They didn’t look that old. The boy, Aled?, seemed like he was about nine or ten. The girl, in the brief moment that you had seen her, seemed to only be about five or six. You supposed you could entertain them for a couple hours. Hopefully they had all the streaming services. Just stick them in front of the TV and wait it out.

You walked into your apartment and got tackled into the wall by Olivia.

“I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”

You laughed and gave her a hug back. “I’m fine! You leave me here all the time to go to your girlfriend’s house, but me going into Manhattan scares you.”

Olivia pulled back and glared at you. “Whatever. Tell us what happened!” Olivia started to pull you towards the living room where Rosie was sitting on the couch. “Ronnie told us you never made it to the house and then you weren’t picking up.”

You went into the whole story of what happened. Explaining the kids, the mansion, the butler, and finally, the man that hired you.

“…name’s Gwilym Lee.”

“Wait,” Rosie sat up a bit straighter. “Gwilym Lee? The producer?”

You exchanged confused looks with Olivia.

“Oh, come on, neither of you know Gwilym Lee? He was like this huge producer at Disney. He’s been involved in all the Marvel movies.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious?”

“Yeeeeeah, did you not see anything in his house that gave it away?”

“No,” you answered honestly. You hadn’t. You were sure that there was something that you had missed, but you were too worried about the interview and trying to get a job that you weren’t paying that much attention.

“And he’s going to trust you with his kids?”

You slowly nodded, suddenly much more nervous about tonight than you originally were.

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee x female reader #gwil lee #movie producer!gwil #gwilym lee fluff #gwilym lee angst #gwilym lee fan fic #fan fic #krissys writings #the nanny named...

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plaidbooks · 4 years

Text

Nyquil

A/N: This is just a short, mostly fluff piece, in which Rafael Barba takes care of a sick reader. Based on true events (note: please take medications as prescribed)

Tags: briefest mention of rape, cold medication (and taking too much of it, though not an overdose)

You groaned as you woke up, rolling over and slowly opening your eyes. You felt a soreness in your throat that wasn’t there the night before, and one nostril was clogged. No, you thought, refusing to even acknowledge how your body may or may not be feeling. You rolled over to look at the empty spot beside you; Rafael, your boyfriend, had already left for the day. You groaned again as you got out of bed, dragging your feet to the bathroom. You looked in the mirror, but your eyes caught the bright orange sticky note stuck to the glass.

Hope you have a wonderful day. See you for dinner - Love Raf

You smiled, butterflies in your stomach. You’d been dating for months now, and he left these notes often, but they still made you fall a little more in love with him every time.

Eyes now focusing on your reflection, you winced; you looked exactly how you had felt when you woke up. Maybe a shower would help. You showered quickly, enjoying the warm water on your skin, letting the warmth awaken you. The steam was even able to help unclog your nose, though your throat was still hurting, your head still not feeling right. But you knew that you were already running a little late, and you needed to get going. Before you left the apartment, though, you grabbed the little package of DayQuil, cursing yourself, seeing it as an admission of weakness; if you didn’t let yourself acknowledge your illness, then you wouldn’t be sick!

You made it to precinct 16, coffee in hand, apology to your boss, Lieutenant Olivia Benson, on your lips. She waved you off; you were very rarely late, and you always had a legit reason. Thankfully, she didn’t ask for one today, because the only excuse you had was maybe coming down with something.

The day seemed to drag on and on, and you felt no better as the hours stretched. Eventually, it came up that there was to be a stake out that night.

“[Y/L/N], Carisi, you two take tonight. Rollins, Fin, you two will take the second shift in the morning,” Olivia ordered. Your heart sank; a whole night? Feeling like this?

“Sure thing, Lieu,” Sonny replied, shooting you a goofy smile and thumbs up. He wasn’t quite the new guy anymore, but sometimes, he still acted like it. If you were feeling normal, you would’ve smiled and rolled your eyes playfully at him. But now you just sat there, silently thankful you grabbed the DayQuil earlier. You took out your phone and sent a text to Rafael, telling him not to wait up for you. At least it was a Friday, and you’d be off all weekend, after this one night.

*****************

“So, what did this guy do again?” you asked, huddled in the passenger seat, sipping at your coffee for warmth.

Sonny was watching the apartment that housed the man you were tasked in staking out, watching for any signs of life. “He raped his wife, and is now trying to threaten her to keep her from testifying.”

You nodded, sighing. You glanced at the clock. It read 3:40am. Got another hour and 20 minutes until Fin and Rollins switched with you two. You had taken another round of DayQuil at midnight, and it was already wearing off. There was no more denying it; you were definitely coming down with a cold. You only hoped that you wouldn’t be getting Sonny sick. Your plan for the weekend was to try and sleep it off; you had some severe NyQuil at home, something you’d never tried before. You weren’t much on medication, especially liquids, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

You were nodding off in your seat when there was a knock on your window. You were so out of it, you didn’t even jump. Turning, you could see Rollins outside the car door. You shuffled out, letting Rollins take your seat, Sonny switching with Fin on the other side.

“Need a ride?” Sonny asked once you were out of sight of the apartment.

“Blease,” you replied, your nose now completely clogged, making the word come out weird. Sonny cocked his brow at you, but didn’t bring it up as he drove you home.

***************

You put your key in the door, unlocking it, and pushing your way in. You felt yourself descend into sickness with every step you took as you shuffled into the living room, unwilling to shed your jacket--you were suddenly freezing and you wrapped the garment around yourself tighter. You walked over to the couch and fell face-first onto the cushions

“Cariño?” you heard Rafael call from the kitchen. You didn’t even notice he was awake; your senses were completely clouded at this point. You grunted, the cushions muffling your voice. You heard his hurried footsteps as he came over to you.

“Are you okay, mi amor?” he asked, crouching down by your head. You turned to face him. His bright green eyes were full of concern, and he placed a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soft circles there.

“I think I’m sick,” you muttered. “I feel like shit.”

He gave your face one more look before he stood, heading for the kitchen. “Let me get you some ginger ale, and then I’ll make you some of my Mami’s famous soup; you’ll feel better instantly.”

You smiled despite yourself; god you loved this man. “I’ll take the ginger ale. But right now, I think I’m just going to have some NyQuil and try and sleep. I’ve been up for almost 24 hours. Can you make me soup when I wake up?”

Rafael was back instantly, ginger ale in his hand. “Of course. Let’s get you to bed.” He helped you stand, then led you to your shared bedroom.

“I don’t want to get you sick,” you protested as he started to help you undress.

He smirked at that. “Don’t worry, Cariño. I don’t get sick.” Now that you thought about it, you had never seen the man sick before. It was true that you, too, rarely got sick, but to never be sick?

“Lucky,” you huffed. He chuckled before helping you climb into bed, tucking you in. He went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, grabbed the NyQuil, then poured a cap-full for you. You drank it, trying not to gag on the gross taste, drinking the ginger ale after words.

“Sleep, baby. I’m off today; call me if you need me, okay?” he said, leaning in to kiss your forehead. You smiled, resting your head on the soft pillows, while he went back out of the room.

You laid there, comfortable except for the illness in your head, congesting your nose, making your throat sore. But sleep never came for you. After an hour, you decided to try and take another cap-full of the disgusting cold medicine. Nothing. After yet another hour, you took a third cap-full, praying for some sort of sleep. Finally, darkness overtook you.

You woke up, groggy, unaware of your surroundings, with a terrible pain in your stomach. It felt like you hadn’t eaten in days. Suddenly remembering the cold medicine, you whipped to look at the clock, wondering how long you could’ve slept to be this hungry. You were stunned to see that only 2 hours had passed.

Maybe I’ve slept a whole day? you thought. But Rafael would’ve woken you...right? After waiting for another painful cramp to subside, you climbed out of bed. You shuffled out of the room, somewhere between sick, hungry, and floating through space. You could hear running water; Rafael was taking a shower in the guest bathroom, probably trying to not wake you. Same day, then.

You made your way to the kitchen, hoping to find something easy to eat, but all you could think of was soup--probably because Rafael had mentioned it. Though, he hadn’t started it, yet, since he didn’t know when to expect you. No worries, you thought, I’ll just make some shitty ramen. You grabbed a pot, filled it with water, and started the stove. Once the water was boiling, you put the noodles in, stirring it. Suddenly, your vision went black. You blinked a few times, but your vision didn’t return. In your drug-induced state, this didn’t seem particularly alarming; you simply sat on the ground, knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped around them as you waited for your vision to return.

Slowly, your eyesight returned to you. You blinked, making sure it wasn’t going away again, before you stood and continued cooking your noodles.

“[Y/N]! What the hell are you doing up?” Rafael was in the entrance to the kitchen, wearing only sweatpants, his hair still damp from his shower.

“Hungry,” you murmured back, stirring in the flavor packet. There must’ve been something weird in your voice, because he came over, turned off the stove, and led you away, out of the kitchen, and to the couch.

“Sit,” he commanded. “Stay.” He disappeared and you sat there, staring at the carpeted floor, not quite remembering how you got there or what you were waiting for.

Rafael came back, a bowl in his hands. He handed it to you, and you looked inside at the noodles you had been cooking. Remembering your hunger, you went to take a bite before he stopped you.

“It’s probably hot,” he cautioned, that concern never leaving his expression. He took the bowl from you, and you let out a sad whimper at the loss of food. Instead, he twirled the fork in the noodles, collecting a small amount, and blew on them before holding the fork out to you. He fed you like this until the bowl was empty, blowing on every fork-full.

“Feel better?” he asked, a small smile tugging on his lips, but that concern still deep within his green eyes.

You nodded. “I think I’m going to try and sleep again.” You stood up and he was instantly beside you, leading you back to bed. This time, however, he climbed in bed with you, pulling your body close to his.

“I’m going to make sure you stay here longer than 2 hours this time,” he explained, wrapping his arms around you protectively. You didn’t mind, melting into his touch, his warmth. He kissed your shoulder, his lips warm even through the fabric of your nightshirt. You were asleep before you could even reply.

#rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fluff #My writing #honestly though #don't take too much nyquil #cause then you'll sleep for two hours #lose your vision making ramen #then pass out for 14 hours

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alj4890 · 4 years

Text

Delicate

(Ethan Ramsey x Olivia Nevarkis) (Olivia Nevarkis x Drake Walker) in a Choices The Royal Romance/Open Heart Crackship Series

A/N It's Thanksgiving and Drake just happens to be in America. Seems perfect to drop in and see Olivia. Let's just say that it doesn't go at all like he hoped.

@jooous @krsnlove @nomadics-stuff @twinkleallnight @motorcitymademadame

Masterlist

Part 4

Olivia's Apartment, Boston...

"I suppose you have a very good reason for calling me this early." Olivia mumbled.

Ethan's chuckle brought a sleepy smile to her lips.

"How would you like to spend Thanksgiving at my place?"

"You'll be working." She reminded him.

"True." She could hear him shuffling papers around. "But we could have a late dinner. I'll also be off Friday and Saturday."

She rolled over in bed while keeping him waiting for an answer. "I might like that."

"Might?"

"Well, you didn't tell me who was cooking?"

"I see." Ethan readjusted his phone. "Would it entice you more to know I'm willing to do the cooking."

"I think it would." She laughed at his groan. "When should I come over?"

"Tonight." He replied. "That way you will already be there Thanksgiving morning."

"Then I better finish sleeping."

"You're right." His voice deepened. "I intend to keep you up late."

"Can't wait." She said softly.

She ended the call and rolled over with a deep sigh. She couldn't remember a time in her life that was anything like this. Her happiness was so new.

So unexpected.

Everything was moving perfectly. Her research hospital was being constructed. She had already hired a number of physicians that held credentials that would make any medical college weep over. And personally speaking, her love life wasn't too shabby.

No, it's perfect.

Ethan pursued her. He never stopped trying to impress her. Just like now with wanting her to be with him for his holiday. He made plans with her in mind, plans to learn all he could about her while sharing pieces of himself in the process.

Olivia knew she had dropped every barrier she had kept up to protect herself. Perhaps the only reason it didn't bother her was because, he too had left himself vulnerable before her.

For the first time, she could fully understand why her friends had done so in their own lives. It was a heady feeling, this power over someone. Knowing you could either make them happy or send them into the depths of sadness was both thrilling and a bit terrifying.

Olivia had given him that power over herself.

She justified her willingness by the type of man Ethan was. He was loyal to a fault. He was intelligent. Dedicated to whatever was important in his life. He never held back on what he was passionate about.

She shared so many of those qualities and understood the driving force behind them.

Perhaps that was why he didn't mind leaving himself open to her.

Perhaps, Ethan was truly the only man for her.

Do I love him? She wondered. Being so unfamiliar with the emotion, she thought of how much she wanted to be with him. The still unexpected joy she felt from his calls and seeing him. The longing for him when they were apart. She had even caught herself grinning like she had seen her friends do whenever they were daydreaming about their love.

Even if it was love, could she admit it? And if she did admit it and he admitted it too...what happens next?

She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face into her pillow. She detested unanswered questions and hated herself for even thinking of them.

Determined to push them to the back of her mind, she closed her eyes and dreamed of Ethan.

*****************

Outside Nadia Park's Apartment, New York City...

"You sure you're okay driving by yourself?" Maxwell asked. "You know my pilot will take you wherever you want."

Drake finished placing his luggage in the back of the Jeep Grand Cherokee he had rented. "I would rather drive." He shut the back. "Thanks though."

"It's a long way to Texas." Maxwell reminded him. "You sure you'll make it in time?"

"Mom plans on us celebrating this weekend instead of tomorrow." Drake explained. "Savannah and Bertrand can't get there until Friday. Something about Bartie's preschool pageant thing."

Maxwell hit his head with the palm of his hand. "I forgot all about his performance! He had wanted me to see his dance moves."

"Don't worry. Savannah is filming every bit of it."

Maxwell eyed him when he seemed to hesitant to leave.

"You," Drake cleared his throat, "You think I should stop by and check on Liv? On the way down there?"

"You could." Maxwell replied. "Have you talked to her since we were last here?"

Drake shook his head. "I'm not really a phone guy."

Maxwell slowly nodded. "True." He tried to think of a legitimate reason for Drake to see her to help his pride. "I took some photos the other day of the research hospital's construction progress for my next book. You could show them to Olivia."

Drake perked up as Maxwell scrolled through his images on his phone, picking the best to send to him.

"She'll love seeing that." Maxwell added.

"Yeah, she will." Drake muttered. He rubbed the back if his neck. "Listen, thanks for uh, for helping me with this. And for not making me talk about it all the time."

Maxwell briefly grinned and slapped a hand on Drake's shoulder. "That's what friends are for."

"I know." Drake nodded. "See you Tuesday."

"Have a safe trip." Maxwell waved in goodbye.

He stood out there until the jeep disappeared around the corner.

"Good luck, Drake." He mumbled.

***************

Olivia's Apartment, Boston...

"Should I cook something?" Olivia frowned at her nearly bare cabinets while talking on the phone. "What do people usually eat for this holiday?"

"I might not be the person to ask this to." Amanda responded. "Thomas usually doesn't want the typical Thanksgiving fare."

"I would call Riley but Hana told me Liam was surprising her with a trip back to the island this weekend." Olivia muttered.

"A second honeymoon so soon?" Amanda laughed. "I think we might be hearing news of a new heir to the throne this holiday season."

A soft smile formed on Olivia's lips at the thought. "I didn't think of that."

"As for if you should cook something, you can never go wrong with a dessert." Amanda added. "Something you could enjoy together."

Olivia turned around in alarm when she heard a knock at her door.

"Amanda, you are still in California, aren't you?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because only you and Ethan come to my apartment." Slipping a dagger into the sleeve of her sweater, she ended the call and cautiously opened her door.

Drake's hand was halfway up to knock once more.

The two simply stared in surprise at one another.

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"

She relaxed her grip on the dagger.

"I, uh..." He glanced about. "I was driving to my mom's and thought I would stop along the way and um..." He dug into his pocket and handed his phone over. "Show you the progress on the hospital."

Her suspicious expression smoothed out into one of excited interest as she began to scroll through the images. Stepping back, she silently motioned him to come in with the blade of her dagger.

A relieved smirk formed on his lips as he followed her inside.

"These look incredible." She sat down while admiring photographs of labs and operating rooms. "Ethan and Naveen will be so pleased."

Drake sat down across from her. "Have you finished finding the right doctors for it?"

"For the most part." She replied. "Naveen suggested we hold off on some until we see what is needed most, specialist wise."

"Ah." Drake tapped his fingers against his leg while trying to think of something else to talk about.

"So..." He muttered.

Olivia quirked an eyebrow at him.

"How are...how are things?"

"Things?" She repeated.

"Yeah, how er," he wondered why he was so nervous, "how are they?"

"Fine." She eyed him curiously. "How are things with you?"

"Good." He cleared his throat. "I mean, good that things are fine."

"So things aren't good for you?"

"Yes. I mean, no." He grit his teeth. "Things are great for me."

"I see." Olivia handed his phone back to him. "Well, thanks for stopping by and showing me these. You should probably get back on the road. I assume it is a long way from here to wherever your family is."

"Texas." He reminded her. "You went there for Savannah's wedding."

She narrowed her eyes again. "I've been there one time. Don't expect me to remember every farm I have seen."

Drake felt his own temper spike. "It’s a ranch."

She flicked her fingers dismissively. "Whatever. Shouldn't you go to Texas before Thanksgiving is over?"

"I don't have to be there until this weekend." He explained. "What are you doing for this American holiday?"

"I'll be spending it with Ethan."

His smirk slowly disappeared. "I see. And are you and the good doctor having a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings?"

Her eyes were now mere slits. "I believe so. He's cooking for me."

"He would." Drake muttered. "Are you showing that you too can be a little sunshine filled homemaker?"

"A sunshine filled..." She trailed off, refusing to allow him to ruin this for her. She had never had a man invite her to spend the holidays together. "Actually," her smile held a touch of evil, "I was just about to leave to get the ingredients I need to do so."

"You are?" He snorted. "I've never known you to cook."

"You never knew me outside of the bedroom." She snapped. "I can do many things, Walker."

His jaw dropped for a moment over her bluntness. "Like what?"

"None of your business." She got to her feet. "It was great seeing you. Let's not hurry to do so again."

Drake stood up. "I'll drive you to the store."

"That isn't necessary."

"I see what is going on. You're scared of my driving."

"Please. I'm not scared of anything you do."

"Then you'll let me to drive you to the store." Drake replied.

"Fine." She put her coat on and grabbed her purse. "Anything to get you to hurry on your way."

"But I'm not in a hurry." He needled.

"Nobody cares!" She griped.

"You must," he snickered, "you've brought up my travel plans more than I have."

She jerked the passenger side door open and slid in. “I forgot how annoying you are."

"I forgot how easy it is to irritate you." He countered.

She folded her arms and motioned with her chin for him to get going.

A proud smile flirted across his lips as he followed her directions.

*****************

"So...what is the duchess making?" Drake pushed a grocery cart through a crowded store.

"Dessert." She ground out.

"What kind? Pie? Cake?" He scanned the aisles for the baking one. "Some kind of health thing since it's for good old Ramsey?"

"I don't know!" She snapped. "I've been trying to decide but some idiot keeps talking!'

"Funny, I didn't know Maxwell was here too." Drake made a show of looking around.

Olivia briefly closed her eyes before exploring recipes for a dessert Ethan might enjoy.

"Pumpkin pie."

"What?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Pumpkin pie is what you should make." He shrugged. "It is the traditional Thanksgiving dessert."

"I don't like pumpkin." Olivia bit out.

"Since when?"

"Since forever."

He narrowed his eyes. "I didn't know that."

"Why would you?" She griped. "It wasn't like we ever ate a meal together."

His frown firmed. "Does Ramsey know you hate pumpkin?"

"Yes." Her chin lifted proudly. "He makes a point of never ordering me pumpkin spiced anything."

"He knows one thing about you." Drake grumbled.

She shot him a murderous glare before gathering items to make an apple pie.

"Feeling homesick?" Drake asked.

"No." She searched for cinnamon. "Why?"

"Did you forget your country is obsessed with a certain fruit?"

She rolled her eyes.

"When's the last time you baked a pie?" He followed her down the aisle. "Was it for the Apple Queen trials?"

Her shoulders stiffened. "I've baked since then."

"Really?" Drake's eyes settled on her profile when she paused to examine different flours.

She cut her eyes to him. "You really think I'm like all the other nobles don't you?"

"Good Lord, no." He chuckled. "No one at court acts like you."

A reluctant smile appeared on her face. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should." He grinned at her. "That's one of the things I like most about you. You were never one of them."

She shrugged while setting a bag of sugar in the basket. "I never saw a reason to act like them."

"It's a shame more aren't like you."

"Ha." She rolled her eyes. "If they were, you would not only be miserable but probably suffering from multiple stab wounds."

"I'm serious." Drake took the bag of flour from her.

Their fingers grazed one another's.

He felt a jolt of disappointment that she was not affected by their touch.

"Most of them could learn a lot from you." His lips firmed into a half smile. "That's one of the reasons I wish you would hurry up and come back home."

Olivia's eyebrow lifted. "You have other reasons for wanting me back in Cordonia?"

"I do."

"And they are?"

"A grocery store aisle isn't really the place to discuss them."

Her eyes narrowed in concern "Is it security?" She lowered her voice and checked to make certain no one was really paying attention to them. "Is someone after Liam and Riley again?"

"No, I didn't mean--" he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Liv, I meant that I miss you."

She snorted on a surprised laugh. "You? You miss me?" She walked off toward the produce section, still shaking her head. "That's hilarious."

He gripped the grocery cart as he followed after her. "Yeah, who would've thought it possible?"

She began to pick through the apples. "Not me or anyone we know."

"Maxwell knows."

She stilled.

"What?"

"Maxwell knows or knew about us. He figured it out whenever he noticed us sneak out." He muttered.

Angry spots of color appeared on Olivia's cheeks. "And you went ahead and told him he was right in his suspicion?"

"I didn't have to." He snapped. "He knew by how I acted after you left."

"How you acted?" She glared at him. "Are you that hard up to find someone to meet your needs?"

"Stop talking about it like that!" He exclaimed. "It wasn't just--"

"Yes, it was exactly that!" The apple in her hand began to drip juice from how hard she was squeezing it. "That was all you wanted. It was all I wanted in the beginning!" Her eyes held his. "We got together because we couldn't be with the ones we thought we were in love with."

Drake staggered back. "That's not--I never--"

"Oh please." She tossed the apple back with the others. "I saw it throughout the entire engagement tour. You wanted Riley just like I wanted Liam to choose me."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't use you to--"

"You did." Olivia's tone eased into a more matter of fact level. "And I allowed it because I was doing the same with you." Her eyes narrowed to mere slits. "Drake, we started our thing the night of their wedding reception! You can't tell me you came to my room for me." She turned back to the apples. "You came for yourself."

"I--" his head dropped back in frustration. "Fine. But it didn't stay that way." He stepped up beside. "I started coming for you."

She ignored him.

"Was it Liam the whole time?"

Her head jerked up. "Would I have stood there like a simpleton asking if what we had was going to turn into something if I still had feelings for Liam?"

"No." He slipped his hands in his coat pockets.

She finished picking apples and pushed the cart toward the checkout.

Without a word he followed her.

*****************

The silence between them was deafening. Drake had never experienced a more uncomfortable car ride before. Every few seconds he would cut his eyes to Olivia, only to be more perplexed by how relaxed and content she appeared.

Her head was bent as she answered a text from Amanda wondering who had been at her door and then she saw one from Ethan.

Her lips curved as she read how much he was looking forward to the next few days with her.

"Liv?"

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you--"

"You drove past my apartment building."

He cursed and made a quick right to circle back around.

"Why didn't you--"

"Just stop here." She ordered. "I can go in this side entrance."

"Let me find a place to park."

"There's no need." She reached behind her for the bags of groceries. "I can easily carry these."

"Yeah, but I wanted to--"

"You should really get going." She lifted her eyes to the gray clouded afternoon sky. "You're losing daylight."

"Damn it Olivia!" He snapped, hitting the steering wheel. "Why won't you let me talk about it?!"

"Because there is nothing more to say!" She yelled at him. "Why do you keep harping on it?! We had sex. Yes, it was enjoyable but I now need more." Her chest rose with her frustrated breaths. "And I have found someone who gives me what I need."

"You really think this Ramsey is what you need?" He taunted. "One day you'll leave here and he will see the real you in Cordonia. This Boston bubble you're living under is going to pop. What will he do when he sees you as a duchess, mingling amongst the court?"

Drake wanted to hurt her since she didn't seem to care that she had and continually did hurt him.

"You think he'll adore you then? Just wait until he hears all the tales of your years of temper tantrums and cruelty."

All the color drained from Olivia's face.

The stark pain reflected in her eyes made him feel like the biggest jerk in the world.

"Liv, I didn't mean--"

She scrambled out of his car, slamming the door behind her.

He watched her until she disappeared into her building.

Drake dropped his head on the steering wheel.

He wasn't sure how his plan on reminding her the good between them had instead showed him as the worst possible ex she had ever had.

#delicate #ethan ramsey x olivia nevarkis #drake walker x olivia nevrakis #drake x olivia #dr. ethan ramsey #choices open heart #choices the royal romance #oh crossover #trr crossover #choices crackship #trr #choices oh

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fangirl-on-bitches · 4 years

Text

Bittersweet

Javier Peña x Female!Reader.

Word Count: 4k approximately.

Summary: You and Javier have a particular way of saying goodbye, so particular you get a surprise when you get back to the US.

Warning: a lot of cursing, a bit of pregnancy shenanigans, a lot of dialogue and a little messy plot and timelines lol.

A/N: Okay, listen before you continue. When I was younger I used to write, maybe not with the best grammar or the best plot, but sure as hell with a lot of creativity. Now I just can’t be that creative to write a complete fic or hc, so if you find this boring or a waste of time I’m really sorry. If you like this, I appreciate it as I really made an effort to finish it (a crapy ending anyways). I’ll be sincere, I had this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so I wrote it. I feel like the scenarios aren’t realistic to what could happen in real life (I feel like they are forced or way too dramatic) I really hope I don’t waste your time. (and yes, I chose the name in honor of Pedro’s role in triple frontier)

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You were cursed. Definitely.

You were back in the states, had been for a few weeks, enjoying the warmest sun Miami had to offer along with Connie. You loved relaxing by a peaceful beach after years of chasing after Escobar with your life on the line every hour of every day.

That day you were really excited to wake up and meet Connie to go to the beach, it had been so long since you saw her and little Olivia. You felt at the same time a little uncomfortable with your body that day, bloated and kind of heavy, like there was extra gravity, but the excitement overwhelmed whatever other feeling you might be having.

The beach had some people because it was a nice day, so you lounged along Connie and baby Olivia, eating fried fish with chips as it was beach food. You were laughing at something Connie said about Steve, something about being a pain in the ass, which you agreed with. It was all fun and games until you felt horrible nausea and a pushing need to vomit. Connie, being observant noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” before you could answer you ran to the restaurant’s bathroom, puking whatever food you had that day. Connie came close behind you. She gave you a paper towel so you could wipe your mouth.

“Okay, I might be sick.” you admitted flushing the toilet.

Of course, your mood just plummeted to the ground when you were sitting in a private room in the hospital. Connie couldn’t check you, but she was looking for her friend on-call, meanwhile, you looked as baby Liv (as you called Olivia) slept peacefully by your side.

You didn’t like hospitals. They reminded you of your time in Colombia, and although you weren’t shot, your compañeros might have been shot multiple times. There had been too many close calls and so many lives lost, you just got the creeps whenever you heard a gurney moving.

Soon, Connie came back and carried Olivia outside, leaving you with her friend. She presented herself, and asked routine questions. How are you feeling? What happened? Does something hurt? Is your period late? Did you fall and hit your head? Do you have any diseases? Or do you take any medication?

“I do have nausea and I threw up after eating.” She nodded as she took your blood pressure. Then you started thinking. You were thinking really hard.

Your period was late, you didn’t remember how late, but it was late. Two months ago, Steve and you caught Escobar. Steve went straight back home and you had to stay, to finish completing paperwork. Then Javier was back in Colombia to follow the Cali Cartel, but you were assigned back to Miami and couldn’t stay.

To be fair, you were glad to be back home, but you really missed Javier. When shit went down with Los Pepes you were pissed off at Javier. You knew he usually overstepped the line to get intel, but this time he had stepped so far off the line, he wouldn’t be able to see the line.

The night before he left you decided you would drink your consciousness off because you hated to even think that Javier Peña was living in Colombia; after a glass of a really strong Rum and Cola you decided against it and knocked on Javier’s door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suggesting that he wasn’t up to listening to more of your nagging. Your head had a million thoughts racing, you wanted to tell him so many things varying from ‘you are an idiot’ to ‘why the fuck did you do this?’ but the only thing you articulate was something like ‘I don’t want you to go’

Javier’s face softened, although you cast down eyes couldn’t actually look at his face, he had stepped aside and invited you inside. “Do you want something to drink?” you shook your head, looking around the apartment. It was almost empty, but it has been pretty empty since the beginning. You sat on the floor, Javier following with a beer in his hand.

“Will you come back?” you asked him, but you already knew the answer.

“I don’t think so, it depends on the higher ups in the states” you nodded, looking at him. You were really going to miss him. “Look, it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore, when you guys catch Escobar-” you laughed humorlessly. How long would that be? Months, another year perhaps?

Both of you stayed in silence for a while. “I should go.” you told him, standing up, he stood up as well.

“You shouldn’t go.” He told you, squeezing your shoulder tenderly, a familiar touch. You looked at his sweet dark brown eyes, a silly small smile playing on the corners of your lips.

“What do you mean? You have a plane to catch tomorrow.” you remind him, wondering if he was drunk, he clearly wasn’t. His hand, which was still on your shoulder, moved to cup your face. For a second, you were lost and didn’t understand what was happening, until you looked at his eyes again and understood. You didn’t wait for him to lean down, you just wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

You would lie if you have never felt curious as to why every informant in Colombia gave Javier the intel he wanted. After that night you understood why. He was passionate, attentive and a really generous lover. You might have even believed him if he had blurted out an ‘I love you’.

The only reason why you let this happen was because Javier was supposed to stay in the US, officially he wasn’t your (or Steve’s) compañero anymore. And that was true, even when he came back.

“Okay, so your results are in. After you told me you’ve been missing your period for quite a while, I drew some blood to analyze it.”

“Yeah, it must be stress. You know, I worked in Colombia with Connie’s husband and moving back here plus all the work I have to do was really stressful. Also, I had a UTI back in Colombia, I wasn’t drinking enough water and I read that the strain might move my period a little.” you started rambling. For some reason, you felt jittery, almost anxious at the look on the Doctor’s face. She had a grin in her face, really big and excited.

“That may delay your period for two weeks, but it won't magically make it disappear, dear.” She read the results once more and nodded to herself. “As I suspected, you are pregnant.”

“W-w-what?” you mumbled. “But I didn’t pee on the stick.” clearly, your brain had short-circuited.

“I have some pregnancy tests if you wish to take them yourself, but the blood analysis is pretty accurate.” she offered with a nice smile. You nodded and took the box going to the bathroom, trying to focus on reading the instructions.

The stick said you were pregnant. And you knew exactly who was the father.

You sighed at the papers you were reading, the office already empty, way past dinner time. Since catching Escobar, hours were cut short, but to you they were really slow. Steve wasn’t there, he had left a few weeks ago, Javier obviously wasn’t there. It was just you, some files and occasionally some booze to help you relax before sleeping. Thankfully, you would be leaving shortly.

On your way back to the apartment complex you stopped by a grocery store. You needed ice cream, and lots of chocolate, and some chips. Probably some booze too. You had bought a flask of whisky that reminded you of Javier, although whisky might not be your first choice of booze.

That same flask almost fell to the ground when you saw goddam Javier Peña entering his apartment, a big suitcase by his side.

He also noticed you, the dark bags under your eyes and messy hair evidence of your hard work.

“Oh my god” you whispered, unbelieving. You walked and hugged him, relieved to see him again. “You are back?” you stupidly asked.

“Yeah, they want my intel and help to track down the Cali Cartel.” he answered.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“My orders are to finish paperwork and return to Miami. They didn’t tell me to stay to help.”

“Well, it’s a different operation this time, more discreet.” he tried to hint you that it wasn’t just DEA business anymore, it was more a CIA kind of work. You invited him to your apartment, that had two boxes of things you were going to give to charity, you didn’t need all this stuff back home, you already had them.

He explained his situation while you shared the flask of whisky and bid good night like the old times, no kisses or sex, or nothing like that. Which was fine.

Everything was fine for the next few days. Javier even helped you pack your stuff and sort it out. The night before returning home he offered to go to the bar you always went to with Steve and him on Friday’s or Saturday’s (sometimes even a Monday)

Both of you drank like you always had, but instead of bidding goodnight and going to bed separately, you both had sex. Again. It was probably a coping mechanism, the way both of you said goodbye to each other. Such a complicated method.

So, so complex that now you were pregnant.

With a child.

Javier's child.

It had to be his, you only had sex with him within the last 3 months. Since Colombia you hadn’t have sex.

This was bad. It was complicated. You didn’t plan for a child; working at the DEA (chasing after Escobar) left you almost no time to think about dating, much more less building a fucking family.

Could you do this? Hell yeah, you are an awesome strong woman.

What you couldn’t do was tell Javier.

When you came out the private room, you were fidgeting with your hands, Connie came and took them. “I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. Connie looked at you shocked; then you noticed little baby Olivia wasn’t on her arms.

Steve, in all his blonde mustache glory stood with his daughter on his arms, looking as shocked as Connie. “What?” he asked.

“Who is the father?” Connie inquired.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Steve.

“I came to pick up my wife and daughter for dinner. Why don’t you come with us and tell us more about this?” You nodded out of inertia, but you looked at your hands while walking, Connie hooking her arm with one of yours.

As you sat on traffic, you tentatively touched your belly. It was... normal. No kicking, no large or really hard belly. It was like there was nothing there.

You would have declined dinner if you knew the questionnaire that would come from the Murphy’s. Well, questionnaire would be an exaggeration, but you didn’t really like the single question they were asking.

“Who’s the father?”

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why? We don’t know him?” you sighed and reassigned. You knew they would ask forever.

“Please, please, please you have to promise me you won’t tell anybody. Both of you.” you looked pointedly at Steve. He nodded but held your gaze, trying to figure out what you were really trying to say. A second later he muttered something.

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“What?” Connie asked but soon realized. “Oh, no way. Javier?”

“It’s Javier.” you confirm their suspicions.

“Are you certain?” Connie asked.

“Of course.” you paused and then added. “You can’t tell him Steve.”

“What? Why?” he sounded slightly offended.

“I should tell him first. He should hear it from me.”

“I can’t believe this. The minute I come back home you two just pound at each other.”

“It wasn’t like that, and technically you were still in Colombia the first time.”

“The first time?” he asked with a chuckle, he looked very happy.

“The second time I was the one leaving!” you paused, moving the food around your plate. “How the fuck am I going to tell him? I can’t just call him and be like, ‘hey I’m pregnant and you are the father. How’s the Cali stuff going?’. This kind of news aren’t told over a call.”

“But it’s different, it’s not a normal situation. Javier could be in Colombia for years.” Steve reminded you.

“It wouldn’t make a difference. He can’t come back until his work is done.” You rolled your eyes, there was no good alternative.

“So you plan to just hide this from him?” Connie asked, her look full of pity, if it was for you or Javier, you didn't know.

“Only until I know he’s coming back. I’ll check on him every once in a while. I’ll need you to call him too, Steve. I don’t want him to suspect me.” He sighed but nodded nonetheless. You sighed as well, a million thoughts racing through your head.

You called Javier that same week. Of course, it was unexpected for him but really welcome. Colombia was not rainbows and sunshine. “So how’s the Cartel treating you?”

“It’s a fucking nightmare, but hopefully it won’t take long. I can't talk too much over the phone about this, who knows who might be listening.” he sighed, sounding really

“Yeah, you are right.” for a minute, you thought about telling him. Then you decided. “Please take care and be careful.”

“Of course compañera.” he assured, you could practically hear the smirk in his lips. After ending the call, you pressed the heels of your palms in your eyes. How in the world were you going to tell him?

––––––

A month turned into two, and then five months flew by in the blink of an eye. Javier was not coming back for the time being and your belly was starting to pop. Your head was still working on how in the world were you going to tell Javier, which was the only problem you had right now. It wasn’t even a big problem, if Javier wanted an out of fatherhood he was free to go, but you had been so happy since day two (day one was a full shock) that you honestly didn’t care.

You were getting way too ahead of yourself. Maybe Javi wanted to be a father and he would be really happy with the little baby. But that wasn’t the Javier you knew, and that’s why you were so afraid to tell him.

Today looked like the best day to tell him. You were going to probably get to know if the little baby was a girl or a boy. You were waiting patiently for him to pick up the call in the hospital public phone. After a while, he picked up.

“Hello?” his voice sounded gruff and stressed.

“Hi, compañero. How are you?” you asked, a hand on your belly.

“As fine as I can be here,” he answered. “What did you want?” he asked abruptly, almost tired of talking to you. It stinged a little.

“I just called to check in…” you lied, maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell him after all.

“I’m going to be as clear as I can. Don’t call me, unless you are fucking dying.” you felt a piercing pain in your throat, a tight knot forming, making it really difficult to talk.

“Fine.” you hissed and hanged the phone, tears slipping down your cheeks. Fucking hormones. Fucking Javier.

Connie, who was waiting for you anxiously to come back, hugged you. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” you nodded and wiped your tears.

“I’m okay. I just need to focus on my baby and myself right now.” you told her and rubbed your belly.

“Of course honey.”

–––––––

It had been a really smooth and sweet pregnancy, you were really happy with your 5th month old baby boy Francisco. He was really sweet, but he had so, so much of his father, the resemblance was uncanny. Deep brown sweet eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair.

Javier had not called you since that horrible last call. You knew he called Steve every once in a while, but you asked Steve please not to tell you anything about him. Both Murphy’s just assumed you had told Javier about the pregnancy and that he had not taken it well.

This was a lie. Javier had no idea you were pregnant, much more less with his child. But he was still in Colombia, so unless you told him he would not hear it from anyone.

It hurted you deeply, not being able to tell your son who his father was. However, all around your house there were pictures of Steve, Javi and yourself from Colombia. Connie and Olivia were there too, even Carillo.

Anyways, the baby was too young to notice the absence of his father. Maybe by the time Francisco starts wondering about daddy, Javier would be around the USA to talk.

Your son cooed and asked to be held up, it was time for his nap. Just in time, you thought, Steve was coming over to pick him up as you were going to meet your best friend in an hour or so. Your baby boy soon fell asleep, you held him in against your chest, rocking him gently.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Steve, you are early. Fran just fell asleep.” you told Steve. But it wasn’t Steve. Javier fucking Peña stood in the door way, his eyes looking at your son. You frowned and tried to hide Francisco’s face sneakily from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too, compañera.” he said, but his mind was not entirely focused on whatever he was saying. His mind was in the baby, and about how quickly you had moved on.

“Don’t compañera me.” you hissed, in a hushed tone, the baby in your arms sleeping soundly. “Come in.” you told him, as you turned around to leave your baby on his cradle.

Javier looked around, looking for any sign of the baby’s father. But he only found pictures of you, Steve, Connie, baby Olivia and other people he knew. Then he started thinking, what if the baby was his child?

No, that’s not possible.

“So?” you asked, really anxious. You had no idea he would be here. You were not prepared for this. But really, would you ever be prepared?

“I came to apologize.” Javier simply said, his hands on his hips.

“Took you a little long.” you said, rubbing your hands together. “If you apologized sooner I could have…”

“Could have what?” you exhaled and sighed, trying not to cry.

“You are not supposed to be here.” you whisper, your voice cracking softly as you sit on your sofa. Javier sat by your side and you felt the weight of your decisions constrict your chest, making it harder to breath.

You were a horrible, horrible person. How could you deny him knowing he was a father? That he had a child? It didn’t matter how angry you felt, or how much of an asshole he had been. The baby was made by both of you. He had the right to know.

“I’m sorry.” he was not sure why, but he really was sorry. You shook your head, and started to tell him that you were sorry, repeating like a prayer. “Hey, hey” he tried to calm you down, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “Breath, baby. Breath.” you complied, breathing deeply. After a minute of silence you took his rough big hand and held it, squeezing it slightly.

“Javier, I got news for you.” you started, and felt his hand tense. “The baby boy, Francisco, he’s your son, our son.” He looked at you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer in the headlights. “That time I called you, I was pregnant, and I wanted to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after?”

“You told me not to call you unless I was fucking dying.” you exhaled and stood up. “Look you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, I had Francisco because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything from you.”

“Not getting involved? What are you talking about?” he asked offended.

“I’m sorry, and I mean no offense, but you don't strike as the kind of guy who would want a family, or children.”

“And what the fuck do you know?” he raised his voice a little, making you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to return back time.” you told him sincerely. A loud whine was heard from your room, where the crib was. You sighed and went to your room, to calm Francisco down. Unbeknownst to you, Javier followed you looking how you delicately held him and rocked him. The baby’s eyes were still closed, he was just a little disturbed.

You looked at the door frame, Javier stood there, looking at the child. You walked to him, your intentions clear. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked your voice soft and soothing. Javier gulped, feeling suddenly nervous, he didn’t know how to hold a baby, what if he dropped him? “Don’t worry, I’ll help.” you offered, a kind smile in your face.

Javier extended his arms and you walked closer, softly passing your son to Javier’s big arms. Francisco whined a little and Javier’s face cringed, making you smile. “Hold him against you,” you helped, gently pushing his arms, closer to his chest. Francisco was fast asleep again. Javier just looked at him, marveled. You guide him to the sofa, making him sit there with your son. “I’ll be right back.” you tell him, and at the panicked face he made, you had to quiet your laugh. “You’ll be fine.”

You called your best friend, telling her you wouldn’t be able to meet her. When you stepped back on the living room, someone knocked on the door, it must be Steve. You opened the door and gestured to him to be quiet, pointing at the couch, were Javi sat (finally) relaxed.

Steve did not enter the house as you promised to call later. You returned to the living room and sat beside them, contemplating how peaceful they looked. Javier had moved your son, laying him against his broad chest. You caressed the baby’s hair, looking at him with doe eyes.

“Want to stay for dinner?” you asked standing up. Javier nodded and then lay his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You smiled and entered your bedroom to change your clothes into something more comfortable.

You had nothing figured out, but you were happy knowing your son had a loving father to grow up with. You’ll figure your relationship out (if there was going to be one).

After some minutes, you heard some gurgles coming from the living room. Javi fell asleep, and Francisco was wide awake, looking at his father curiously, moving his little hands. You took the baby from him, kissing his chubby face. “Your daddy is sleeping, baby. C’mon, let’s give you some mashed banana.” you told him, caressing Javier’s hair back.

You spent some long 20 minutes feeding and nursing your baby boy while you also checked dinner. Javier, still fast asleep on the couch, woke up with a start, touching his chest, as if missing something. “Where’s the baby?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s here, Javier.” you told him from the kitchen, a silly smile on your face. Javier sat by the table, feeling self conscious at the baby’s gaze over him. His son’s arms moved up and down, talking unintelligible gibberish. “He likes you.” you commented, cleaning his chubby face. Javier held his hand out and Francisco took one of his fingers, squeezing with his baby strength. Javi’s heart skipped a beat.

Eating together was really weird, but at the same time it felt right. You noticed Javier’s tired face and wondered if he came straight from the airport. So you asked, sparking some conversation. You talked about what finally happened with the Cali Cartel.

“You got a place to stay?” you asked, but you knew the answer. “You can stay here if you want. Hotel’s are really expensive right now.”

“You sure?” you nodded. You forgot how well you clicked with Javier, it was a nice reminder.

He helped you with the dishes, and then went to shower, getting his suitcase for clean clothes. You prepared Francisco for bed, giving him his formula bottle after changing his diapers.

You saw Javier getting out of the bathroom, and thankfully had the decency to wear full pajamas, you would have fainted at the view of his bare chest.

“So, I’ll go to the couch, do you have a blanket?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked. “I was going to tell you to sleep in the bed with me. We already shared a bed before, so I don’t see a problem. Plus, I could use the help if Francisco wakes up.” you commented with a cocky smirk. You usually wore just a t-shirt to bed, but today you had to use full pajamas, like Javi did.

“Okay.” Javier said, not really convinced. Francisco was asleep already, his father caressed his little hand with his finger. You were already under the covers, ready to hit the bed, Javier looked tired too.

He laid down, under the covers as well, looking at the ceiling. He moved looking at you, you were both face to face, generous space between both of you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, and took his hands on yours.

“Sleep Javi, you look tired.” you kissed the back of his hands and closed your eyes, sleep getting the best of you. Javi smiled, his face soft, getting a little closer, leaving his hand on yours, then he shut his eyes. He had never felt more at home.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

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softboywriting · 5 years

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Adopted Dad | Shawn Mendes AU

Summary: You and Shawn are close friends and housemates with undeniable chemistry. For four years he has helped you take care of your daughter Olivia, and be like the dad she has never had. It’s now that Olivia is getting a little older that you’re finally realizing you’re ready to take the next step with Shawn, and officially make him the dad that she has chosen him to be. [fluff] [dad shawn] [single mom] [au fic]

Word Count: 10k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Just after one in the morning you hear the door to your daughter's bedroom open. The familiar creak of the old hinge is unmistakable in the silent apartment. Tiny feet patter across the wood floor and you raise your eyebrows, waiting for the moment she opens your bedroom door. You wait...and wait....and...she isn't opening the door. You glance over, rolling onto your arm to see if her shadow is visible beneath the door in the glow of the hall night light. Nothing. Weird. You lay back down, assuming she's gone to the bathroom.

____________________

Olivia walks past the room beside hers, barely glancing at the door as she heads for the door that's open at the end of the hall. She drags her blue bear blanket behind her, hand coming up across her tear dampened cheeks.

The door at the end of the hall is open just enough for her to squeeze in unnoticed. The small girl climbs up the laundry basket at the end of a very large bed and on to the soft comforter covering the mattress. She crawls up beside the sleeping form of her mother's house mate and best friend, Shawn, on the bed and presses her back against him.

"Mmm," Shawn stirs, reaching down and finding a tiny head under his hand. "Livvy?"

"I had a bad dream."

Shawn sits up and turns on his bedside lamp. Sure enough beside him is little tiny Olivia curled up into her blanket. "What happened in your bad dream?"

"I got eated by a tiger." Olivia sniffs loudly. "And momma was real sad and she had a new baby and I came back and no one loved me any more."

"That sounds terrible." Shawn scoops Olivia up into his arms and puts her up over his shoulder. "I promise I won't forget about you even if a tiger eats you."

Olivia nods into his shoulder and he rubs her back.

"Let's go see your mom, okay?" Shawn crawls off the bed and carries the toddler to her mother's bedroom.

_____________________

The door to your bedroom opens and you roll over to see Shawn standing in the doorway. You sit up and turn on the bedside table lamp.

"What happened?"

"Livvy had a bad dream." Shawn explains as he carefully steps around a few of Olivia's toys she left on your floor earlier. "She came and woke me up."

"She went to you?" You ask as he sits on the edge of the bed. Olivia is asleep in his arms already, little mouth hanging open against his shoulder.

Shawn sighs softly. "Yeah, she came to my room. I don't know why. She said in her dream she got eaten and then you had a new baby to replace her. Maybe she was upset with you?"

"Oh."

"I dunno. I'm gonna put her back in bed, but I can lock my door from now on if you don't want her to wake me up."

You shake your head. "No, that's up to you. It's fine if she has a bad dream about me and needs to go to you if you're okay with it."

Shawn stands back up and sways with Olivia. "I'm fine with it. You know I'm not going to turn her away."

"I know. But she's my responsibility, I want to make sure she's not invading your space."

"Never." Shawn chuckles softly and kisses Olivia's hair. "I'm going to lay her down in her bed."

"Thank you," you yawn and flop back into your pillows. Shawn leaves the room, closing the door behind him carefully.

You've been awake all night, unable to sleep because of stress. This situation didn't help anything, in fact, it made things worse. Lately you've been wondering when Olivia would ask about her dad. You've wondered when she would ask about Shawn, or if she thinks Shawn is her dad. You haven't told her he isn't, but you also don't think you have made it seem like he is. Every day Olivia gets older, a little smarter, more aware. And every day you have to answer more and more questions for her, some that you don't know how to answer. Being a mom is hard.

_____________________

Monday. Your first day of the forty hour work week. It's also the first day of the week that Olivia stays home with Shawn. Twice a week Shawn works from home and helps you out by watching Olivia on those days to save you about two hundred dollars a week in child care fees. It helps immensely considering rent just went up another twenty dollars last month. That may not seem like a whole lot but when you're a single mother raising a child, every single penny counts.

You give Olivia a kiss goodbye and she shuffles around sleepily in her little toddler bed. She didn't usually get up until after nine on Mondays. The kid may only be almost four but she knows the value of sleep.

Shawn hands you your coat at the door and you give him a hug. "What's this?" He asks as he wraps an arm around your back.

"A thank you." You rest your head on his shoulder. "Thank you for making life a little easier."

"Hey, what're friends for?"

"Yeah." You pull back and he picks an eyelash off your cheek. "Any plans for today?"

"Just the usual. Peppa pig, breakfast, story time, shimmer and shine, nap, lunch, then probably some play time or a walk."

You put your bag over your shoulder and glance back at Olivia's room. "Don't let her get you too distracted from work. I know how she is, and I know how you are."

Shawn holds his hands up in defense. "I will get my stuff done. I promise she doesn't distract me too much."

"Does she distract you though? I can take her to the daycare if I need to."

Shawn opens the door and shoos you out. "Go to work, stop stressing about everything all the time. I can handle a toddler and some web design fpr work okay?"

"Okay, fine. I'm going." You walk out and turn around. "Just one more thing, I-" the door to the apartment closes and you sigh.

Maybe Shawn is right. Maybe you are too stressed out all the time. You need a date. No. You need to get laid. Fuck. You lean your head against the wall of the elevator. It's been ages since you've had any action, since Olivia was like two probably. Sheesh. Two years without affection? Well. That's not true. You moved in with Shawn almost four years ago, so you haven't been totally alone. He is good company, but not in the way you need. But...maybe he could be. The two of you have obvious chemistry. Maybe you could present the idea to him.

The elevator dings and a few more people step on from the third floor, going down. You smile politely and try to focus on heading to work. Now was not the time to think about hooking up with Shawn. He's your friend, and he lives with you. That would be a huge mess if things went south. No. Absolutely no hook ups with your housemate no matter how much chemistry is there. Nope.

_____________________

Friday night you get home late from work. You knew around three when the library at the high school where you work was torn apart by some big study groups that it would be a late one. On a regular day you're off by four and picking up Olivia by half past, then on your way home. As soon as you saw the state of the library you called Shawn and begged him to pick Olivia up from daycare.

It's after six when you walk into the apartment. You're exhausted but you know your day isn't over yet. You still need to spend time with Olivia, make some dinner, do your laundry, give Olivia a bath and then get a shower yourself. You drop your purse by the closet and walk past the living room into the kitchen. There is a note on the counter with your name on it.

Dinner's in the fridge 💛 -shawn

You open the refrigerator door and sure enough there is a bowl of chicken soup and half a grilled cheese for you to warm up. Perfect. One thing off your list. Now, where was Olivia and Shawn.

You put the soup and grilled cheese in the microwave and head back to the living room. You find Shawn on the sofa with Olivia curled up in his lap asleep. She's in her pajamas and her hair is damp.

"You made dinner and gave her a bath?" You ask quietly as you walk into his line of sight. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem. I'm here, what was I supposed to do? Let her be hungry and dirty?" Shawn chuckles, rubbing Olivia's back. "I wasn't going to let you come home and have to stress about things here."

"Thank you." You tremble, heart aching as his kindness gets the best of you.

"Hey, come here," he says, motioning you closer with his arm. You step closer and he wraps his arm around your middle. "No crying okay. Just talk to me if you need help, or if you're just really stressed. I'm not going anywhere."

You sniff and get yourself back together. "Thanks. Again." You laugh. "I keep thanking you a lot lately."

Shawn leans his head into your stomach. "I'm glad to help. Go get your shower. I'll be here with Livvy when you get done."

"I gotta eat first."

"Shower then eat. I'll even make you some dessert."

"Shawn."

He gives you a stern look and you try to match it but to no avail. "Shower. Go."

"Fine!" You run a hand over your hair and sigh. He always had a way with making you do what he wanted. He just had to give you that one look and you were putty in his hands. Of course he never used that to his advantage, and only when you were being stubborn. He's too good for you.

_____________________

Post shower you find the soup and grilled cheese warm for you and a little cup of chocolate pudding with some spray whipped cream on top sitting on the kitchen table. You sit down and eat, just enjoying the silence and relaxation for a few minutes.

"Momma?"

You look into the living room and see Olivia wandering around. "In the kitchen bud."

In walks your little girl with her now dried hair a mess. She rubs her eyes and reaches out for a hug. You drop your dishes in the sink and go to pick her up.

"I'm sorry I was so late today. Work was terrible."

"It's okay momma." She yawns and lays her head on your shoulder. "Daddy and I were okay.'

"Daddy?"

Olivia nods.

Shawn leans against the doorway and you give him a puzzled look. He just shrugs. This was probably the biggest thing you feared about having Shawn live with you. You knew one day Olivia might ask about her dad. You knew she might assume it's Shawn. You feel like you've failed, like you should have told her the truth. Now you've created a mess.

"Can we talk?" You ask Shawn as you head for Olivia's room.

"Of course, what's up?"

"I'll tell you in a second." You look to Olivia and he nods.

Minutes later and you meet Shawn in the kitchen where he's washing up the dinner dishes. He stops immediately and looks over. "What happened?"

"She called you daddy."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. She just said it so casually." You sink into a dining chair and hold your head. "I knew I should have told her you're not, I should have laid ground rules as soon as she began to talk."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Shawn steps over and sits down in front of you. "It was bound to happen. She watches kids shows where the kids have two parents. Even if you explained to her that I'm not her dad, she might still associate me as that person because I live here and I help care for her." He lays his hand on your arm. "Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. She was very sleepy and she could have been dreaming."

"Shawn, she was awake."

"She has never done it before though."

You drop your head into your arms. "I'll have to tell her soon. God I don't want to have that conversation. She is going to be crushed."

Shawn rubs your back. "I can be there with you. I'll try to ease the blow. It's not like we're telling her I'm moving out."

"No." You look up, eyes meeting his in a panic. "No, that would be much worse."

"Relax." He cups your face and your heart soars. From worry to love that quick. You're gonna get whiplash. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You better not."

He chuckles, ducking his head with a huge smile. "I'm not leaving until you can't stand me anymore." He stands and holds his hand out for you.

You take his hand and he threads his fingers between yours. It's definitely intimate and you don't say anything, afraid to ruin the moment. You let him lead you to the sofa.

He takes a seat and pulls you down beside him, arm around your shoulders. "You ever wonder what it would be like if we-"

"Momma!"

You turn and look to where Olivia is standing outside her bedroom door. "Yes Livvy?"

"Toby fell under the bed."

"I'll be right there." You push up off the sofa and Shawn kicks his feet up on the ottoman. "I'll be right back?"

"No rush." He smiles. "Go rescue Toby the Tiger."

You circle the sofa and go to help Olivia get her stuffed tiger back from the dark realm of the underside of the bed. You know since she's up she will want a bedtime story and tucked in. You won't be able to go back to talking to Shawn for a while, and hopefully he'll be awake when you get back. You really want to know what all that hand holding and cuddling was about. Did he...did he wonder what it'd be like if you were a couple too?

_____________________

Monday Olivia comes down with the flu. It started Sunday afternoon when you noticed she was sluggish and less than her usual excited cheerful self during the weekend grocery shopping trip. You grabbed everything you would need out of precaution. Turns out you didn't get everything. You forgot to get Pedialyte.

Olivia lays on the couch with her blanket draped over her, tired eyes watching her usual dose of Peppa Pig. The poor baby looks just drained. She wasn't interested in breakfast and she whimpers now and then because of body aches. You've given her Tylenol and you've been giving her juice but she really needs some Pedialyte.

You have the day off for a teacher planning day, thank goodness, because you only have a day or two of time off left. Though the school works with you and understands that you have a young child to care for. Your supervisors never get angry at you if you have to stay home or leave for Olivia, and your job as a librarian is a lot more flexible than that of the teachers. For that you're thankful.

"I need to run to the store," you says softly, leaning into Shawn's bedroom.

Shawn turns from his computer and pushes up his glasses. You can't help but smile. He looks like such a dork but in the cutest way. He rarely wears his glasses but when he does you can't get enough of his face.

"Need me to watch Livvy?"

"Yes, I would take her with but I don't want to drag her out if I don't have to."

"No of course not. I can watch her." Shawn stands up and stretches, his sweater riding up on his tummy a bit. "I need a break anyway. My brain is fried."

"Thank you," you whisper, leaning your head on the doorframe. "I promise I will be quick."

Shawn brushes your hair back and lets his fingers linger in your hair a moment. "Take your time. And get yourself something too."

"Nerve tonic?"

"No, a treat of some sort." Shawn says softly. "You deserve it."

"Do I?"

"Yes." He kisses your forehead and you melt. Your body just turning to warm gooey mush inside. Does he know how he makes you feel? Is he just being his usually affectionate self? No, this is more affectionate than usual. Are you reading too far into it?

"Where's Livvy at?" He asks.

"Couch."

Shawn slides past you and heads for the living room. You follow close behind and grab your purse from the rack by the front door. As you head out you hear him talking to her softly, voice gentle as he sits down on the couch beside her. He makes such a great dad, maybe you should approach him about it. No. Just...let things be what they are.

_____________________

When you return from the store, which ended up being almost an hour long trip, you find Shawn picking up the living room and Olivia nowhere in sight.

"What..." You start and Shawn turns to look at you with glitter all over his face and a tiara on his head. "What happened?"

"Tea party. She decided that she was tired of being sick and wanted to play." Shawn chuckles to himself as he tosses a few dolls in the storage ottoman. "She didn't last very long and ended up falling asleep while making the tea."

"Ohmygod." You set your grocery bag on the kitchen table. "Is she in her room now?"

"Yeah. I tucked her in."

"Alright." You pull out the container of fruit punch Pedialyte and some mandarin gel cups. "Sorry I was gone forever. I got stuck in traffic because of a car accident and then there was only one check out open at the store."

"No worries." Shawn takes the Pedialyte and puts it in the fridge while you put away the gel cups and some cereal bars. "Can I ask for some help from you now?"

"What? Yes, of course anything."

"Do you have something to remove this glitter?" He wipes at his face and holds up his sparkle covered fingertips.

You giggle and he bites his lip. "You don't like being the biggest fairy princess ever? I think the tiara is fitting."

"Oh, no doubt." He adjusts the plastic adornment. "The tiara I can live with, but the glitter is in my eye and I'm pretty sure there is some on my contacts."

"Oh shit," you take his hand and he lets you lead him to the bathroom. "Here," you hand him a pack of makeup remover wipes. "Use those, I'll grab your glasses."

Shawn turns the package of wipes over in his hands while you go to his bedroom and grab his glasses case off his desk. When you return, he's still just looking at the package.

"What are you doing?"

"These are just wet wipes?"

You laugh and take the package from him. "No, they're not. They're made special." You pull one out and he leans back on the counter, slumping lower so you can wipe at his face. You step between his legs and he instinctively rests his hands on your hips. It's enough to make you stop mid wipe.

"Something wrong?"

"No. No, uh just, a real sparkly spot." You lie and continue to clear his face of the glitter.

Shawn reaches for his glasses as soon as you declare him glitter free. He puts them on and you reach around him to gather the dirty wipes.

For a moment you pause, sort of staring at him with his messy hair, dark rimmed glasses and ridiculous tiara. Now would be the perfect time to make a move. Say something. Do something.

"You okay?" Shawn asks, running a hand through his hair and pulling out the tiara.

"Mmm? Yeah?" You tear your eyes away and busy yourself with putting away the wipes.

Shawn puts the tiara on your head and you freeze. "There, looks better on you."

"Hardly."

"Hey, y'know if Olivia is a princess that makes you a Queen."

"Guess that makes you a King."

Shawn's eyebrows shoot up and you flush when you realize what you've insinuated. He just chuckles cooly. "I suppose maybe that does."

You swallow thickly and take the tiara off, turning it over in your hands. "Yeah, maybe."

"Anyway," Shawn clears his throat. "I'm gonna head out for a meeting with some friends from work. Are you good here with Livvy?"

"Yeah." You look up and meet his eyes. "I think I've got everything I need."

"Good." He pushes off the counter. "Just text me if you need anything."

"Of course. Same."

He smiles and heads out of the bathroom. You stand there for a moment, frozen in time and you hear the front door close. What was going on with him? You're reading the signals right...right?

______________________

"Hey, what're you doing Wednesday night?"

You look up from the computer in your corner of the office in the library. At the return window is your coworker Nate. He's a year younger than you and he's new to the school staff as an IT tech . Overall he isn't a bad looking guy, kind of boy next door like. He's nice, polite, pretty smart actually.

"Wednesday?"

"Yep."

"Probably watching a baking show with my daughter and then going to bed."

Nate runs a hand over his blond hair, fluffing up the longer top he keeps styled back. "Well, if you're up to it, I have two tickets to see Blood Fest Two at the Alamo Drafthouse."

You laugh softly to yourself. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"I am. But I completely understand if you don't have a babysitter on short notice."

"No, actually I think I can get someone. What time?"

"Seven?"

"Alright. I'll see you there at seven. I hope you don't mind if I just meet you at the theater. I like to take my own car in case of an emergency with Livvy."

Nate waves you off. "No worries. I'll see you Wednesday night." He turns and wanders back out of the library.

A date. Wow. It's been forever and a day since anyone even asked you out. Though you can admit that you don't actively try to find people to date. It's just not on your agenda to be social outside of work and home. Nate is cute. One date can't hurt. It'll get your mind off Shawn, and that's for the best. You're afraid if you dwell on the Shawn situation too long you'll break your own heart over nothing.

_____________________

A knock sounds on the front door and you rush for it only to find Shawn already answering it. He's in his running clothes, shorts and a long sleeve shirt with his hair pulled back in a headband. You smile as you see your babysitter walking in. It's not the first person you would have chosen, but she will do. Your babysitter for the night is your ex's mom Donna. Though you and him broke up ages ago, you kept in contact with his mother since your parents moved away years ago and she always wanted grandkids. She says she doesn't talk to Vince, your ex, but you don't know for sure.

"Oh my she's so big!" Donna exclaims when she sees Olivia.

You look over at Olivia coloring at her craft table. "She's growing fast. Livvy, come see Donna!"

Olivia pops her head up and smiles big when she sees Donna. It's a rare occasion that she gets to see her grandma. You don't like to leave her with the older woman very long, it's not that you don't trust her, you just don't trust your ex not to show up and see Olivia. He walked out before she was born. You don't need him trying to walk back in, and for that reason you have never said that she is her grandma. Olivia only calls her Donna.

Shawn goes to Olivia's room to gather her things to take with her to Donna's. He gives you a look that you think might be worry but you shrug it off.

"I'll be home around ten." You put in your earring from your pocket and fluff your hair in the mirror by the front door. "Shawn will be home by eight probably. If you need anything just call me or him okay?"

"Am I gonna go to Donna's?" Olivia asks, playing with Donna's big fluffy blond curls.

"Yes baby. Just for a little bit. She said she's got a surprise for you."

Donna gasps playfully. "Oh I do!"

Shawn reappears with Olivia's bag that has her blanket and Toby sticking out the top. "Here's her stuff. I packed extra clothes in case something happens."

Donna takes the bag and puts it over her shoulder. "Alright, ready to go buggaboo?"

Olivia nods and leans her head on Donna's shoulder.

"Bye bye sweetheart." You lean in and kiss her head. She gives you a one armed hug in return.

Donna heads for the door before Shawn can get his own hug in and Olivia turns and waves.

"Bye Daddy."

You and Shawn freeze, as does Donna. No one says anything right away. Donna turns and raises her eyebrows, face one of disdain. You plaster on a smile and Shawn does the same.

"Bye bye Livvy," Shawn says softly, waving as Donna pulls the door closed behind her, leaving you and Shawn alone.

"Fuck," you sigh heavily. "We have to talk to her."

"You don't think Donna is gonna do that?"

"She better not."

Shawn rubs the back of his neck, a well known nervous tick. "Yeah well, I dunno. I'm going for my run. Have fun on your date." He grabs for the door handle and goes out, leaving you completely alone.

Could things just...not go terribly wrong for once?

_____________________

Ten minutes pass and you have yet to see Nate. You're standing outside the theater, leaning against the movie posters. You arrived early, planning on getting snacks or dinner from the restaurant inside. You look at your phone, five minutes until the movie starts.

Your chest seizes up with the almost long forgotten ache of disappointment. It hurts. You feel rejected. It's been so long since you had a date and this is just the icing on the cake made of shit that is your life right now. Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you take a shaky breath, accepting the reality of being stood up.

The last few people milling around outside go in and you're left alone. You step away from the building, grasping your purse strap tightly as you make your walk of disappointment to your car in the lot across the street. So much for getting dressed up tonight. So much for getting a babysitter. You scoff to yourself as you toss your purse into the passenger seat and close the door angrily.

"Fuck." You mutter to yourself and lean your head on the steering wheel. Sadness overwhelms you and you can't hold the tears back. "Fuck!"

It hurts. God it fucking hurts. Just when you thought maybe, just maybe you found someone who wanted to date you. Why couldn't you just have this one date? One night! Just...one thing.

You wipe your eyes and sit back to start your car. You head home, driving slow and trying to focus extra hard on the road despite being caught up in your emotions. The lot outside your apartment is almost full when you pull in but there is a spot under the trees near the end of the building.

The lights come on while you make your way to the front doors. It's nearly dark, the sun having gone down half an hour ago. You step up onto the walkway to the apartment doors and you hear a little crack. Well, you feel it mostly. Your next step confirms your fear, the heel of your favorite pair of shoes has just snapped.

You lean down and tug off the broken shoe and then the other with a sad little laugh. Perfect. Just perfect.

You turn your key in the lock to your apartment and push the door open, throwing your heels at the closet door angrily. Who cares if they broke. You're never going to go on another date again. You're never going to wear them anywhere nice.

"May as well accept my life of solitude," you mumble, dropping your purse and peeling off your coat. "Gonna die alone anyway."

"You okay?"

You look up from your mumbling and see Shawn leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. "I'm fine."

"It's a little early for your movie to be over."

"Sure is." You pull out your earrings and unclasp your necklace. "Probably because I never got to see the movie."

"What happened?"

"He didn't show up!" You turn and walk toward the bathroom.

Shawn follows. "He didn't show up? Did he text you?"

"No!" You drop your jewelry in the cup on the bathroom counter. "He just...didn't show up." You lean forward and grab your makeup wipes out of the cabinet. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." Shawn grabs the wipes from you and you shoot him a glare. "Sit down."

"Where?"

"On the counter."

You hop up on the cold porcelain top counter and Shawn steps between your legs. He pulls a wipe out and brushes your hair back.

"What are you doing?"

"What you did for me." He wipes at your eyes gingerly. "Its okay to be hurt because your date fell through."

"I don't feel like anyone is going to love me."

"Because of one bad date?"

"N-no." You close your eyes so he can get all the eye shadow off. "Because ever since I had Livvy it's like that's the only way people see me, as a single mom. People don't want to date single moms."

Shawn's voice drops and he speaks softly. "That's not true."

"Yeah...well it sure feels true."

Shawn holds your jaw and scrubs at your nose gently. He runs the water in the sink beside you and you feel a warm rag on your face as he cleans up the remains of makeup. "All done."

You open your eyes and he smiles. "What?"

"You're so pretty."

"But you just took all the makeup off?"

"I know. You're pretty just like this. Livvy is so lucky to look like you."

You flush and he steps back to let you get off of the counter. "She does look just like me huh?"

"Mhmm she does." He wraps his arm around your shoulders. "Speaking of Livvy, you've got a few more hours until Donna brings her back. How about you and I order some dinner and relax. I'll even give you a massage if you want."

"A famous Shawn massage huh?"

"Just for you." He squeezes your shoulder. "I know you love them."

"I do." You lean your head against him. "Alright, you've sold me. Order whatever, I'll get changed."

"Yes ma'am."

_____________________

You wake up early the next morning, head pounding from the two shots of whiskey you had with Shawn last night. You haven't had anything to drink in ages so it hits you like a ton of bricks. It's Thursday and you'd love to be sleeping in but you have to get ready for work.

You shuffle out into the living room and find Olivia awake and watching Peppa Pig on the couch. She's curled into the corner with her cup of juice and blanket. You're not entirely sure she's awake.

In the kitchen you see Shawn moving around and you can hear him talking to himself.

"I'm Peppa Pig and I'm annoying as fuck" Shawn says quietly to himself in an awful British, borderline cockney accent. "I'm making a proper omelette today and maybe I'll make some bangers and mash too."

"Nice."

Shawn turns around from the counter where he's whisking eggs in a bowl. He laughs and ducks his head. "You like that?"

"Spot on accent."

"Brilliant." He says and dumps the eggs in a pan, continuing his accent. "Would you like toh-mah-to's in your omelette? Or can I put them in the bin where they belong?"

You crack up laughing so hard you have to hold onto the counter as you pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Oh my God, stop, please. I'm gonna die."

"I'm so sick of that little pig." Shawn wraps his arm around your back to move you forward so he can grab the salt and pepper and you lean into him automatically. "I'm glad I could make you laugh so early in the day. How's your head?"

"Pounding."

"Take some aspirin and have some of Livvy's Pedialyte. It's supposed to be good for hangovers."

"Yes doctor," you laugh and he shoves you playfully. "I'll take one. Can I have some omelette?"

"Of course. I'm making it for all of us, and I won't put any tomatoes in it."

"That's fine. I'll survive without them."

"Good." He grabs some bread out of the bag on the counter and puts it in the toaster. "Grab Livvy for me? The food is almost done."

You nod and set your coffee down to go get your daughter. She's curled up farther into the corner of the couch, passed out on a pillow you know is off of Shawn's bed. You smile softly and mute the TV. You decide to leave her sleep for a while longer. She can eat when she wakes up.

_____________________

Olivia's birthday is in a week. She will be turning four and you have to plan a birthday party. You know it won't be a big deal, she only has two friends at daycare that she's asked to come over. Of course you'll have to invite Donna and Shawn's parents will probably stop by. Funny. His parents have no connection to your child other than you and Shawn being friends, but they'll be there as if she was their grandkid. His parents love you, they even get you stuff at Christmas.

Aside from planning a party, you have to actually go gift shopping. That's hard to do when you have to take Olivia with you. Sure, you could leave her with Shawn and go present shopping but you feel bad since you've left her with him so much lately.

So here you are in a small department store with Olivia in the basket and Shawn trailing along behind you as you try to discreetly shop for gifts. The first thing you do is grab a blanket from the home goods section, it's easy to slide things under it without Olivia's seeing.

"Check this out," Shawn says, holding up a paw patrol playset.

You raise your eyebrows. "Just paw patrol?"

"Nope." He grins and steps aside to reveal a Peppa Pig set behind him quickly. "Want it?"

"Sure." You turn the cart to face him while Olivia faces you.

"Mom! Can I have one!" Olivia says excitedly, pointing to the pet aisle behind you.

"Which one bud?"

"The big one!"

You step away from the cart and point to a big fluffy white and pink dog bed. "This?"

"Yeah! Big pillow!"

Shawn laughs and you can't help the smile that spreads across your own face. "Those are for doggies," Shawn says and Olivia turns in her seat to look at him.

"Doggies have pillows?"

"Mmhmm. That's their bed."

"Oh." Olivia trails off and then her face lights up. "It can be my bed!"

You pull the dog bed off the shelf and look at the tag. Clearance for twelve dollars. Not bad, but it's still a dog bed. "I think it's best for dogs not little girls honey."

"Bed! New bed!"

You exchange a look with Shawn and he shrugs with a smile. You know he won't say no to her, he never does. You turn the big oversized pillow over in your hands. It's just a fluffy pillow right? It's only a dog bed if you use it as a dog bed.

"Okay, okay, but this is the only present you get to pick out okay?" You say as you drop the bed in the cart.

Olivia nods and reaches back to hold onto the soft Sherpa lined top with her little hand.

Shawn shakes his head.

"What?" You ask as you start pushing the cart toward the check out lanes.

"Nothing."

"Oh bull."

"You give into her so easy."

"Oh the pot calling the kettle black." You shoot him a look and he raises his eyebrows. "I do believe you were the one who brought home the container of individual jello snacks because she had to have it when you took her to the store two weeks ago."

"But-"

"And on the last grocery trip we got the goldfish crackers because they had Frozen 2 advertisements on it?"

Shawn rolls his eyes. "Okay, okay fine. You made your point."

The line moves forward and you push the cart up to the counter. Shawn unloads the gifts from under the blanket and you keep Olivia's attention on you by asking her about what kind of cake she wants for her birthday.

"Your total is thirty seven dollars." The cashier announces and you push Olivia forward to pay.

Olivia reaches for the dog bed and Shawn gives it to her to help hold onto while he holds the other side of it. "This is my bed," Olivia says to the cashier happily, rubbing her face on the Sherpa lining.

You close your eyes and sigh softly, embarrassed at how bad that sounds. You swipe your bank card and look at the cashier. "It's not her bed. She has a real bed."

The cashier chuckles and hands you the receipt. "Kids are funny."

"Yes, they really are." You say softly, relieved that the cashier understood.

_____________________

Two days before Olivia's birthday and you and Shawn are up late in the living room discussing plans for the cake. Everything is planned out, from decorations to lunch and just the cake is still undecided. You want to just get a premade cake at the store. Shawn wants to make a cake from scratch.

"Store bought will be easier."

"But homemade is special."

You sigh and lean your head back on the couch. "But I can get a themed cake at the store."

Shawn scoffs. "I can make a themed cake."

"Shawn, come on. We have enough to worry about, let alone baking and decorating a cake for the party."

"But-"

"I'm buying a cake. She's my daughter, I decide what her birthday is like."

There's a silence that follows that statement immediately. It's the first time you've pulled the mom card. It's feels awful, guilty almost.

"We still haven't told her."

"About calling you dad? I know."

Shawn rubs the back of his neck. "Why not?"

You swallow hard and it feels like there is a lump in your throat. "I'm scared to."

"Do you think she'll be upset?"

"Yeah. What if she doesn't understand? What if she's angry at me? Or at you. What if she feels rejected because she doesn't have a dad?" You tear up, voice breaking on the word dad.

Shawn pulls you into him for a hug. "Hey, hey it's okay. I'm...I'm okay with being like...y'know."

"What?"

"A stand in dad?"

"But what if she finds out you're not her real dad?"

"You don't have to tell her that I'm her real dad. We can just say I'm her dad for now and explain the finer details later when she's older. Do you ever want her to know her real dad anyway?"

You shake your head. "Fuck no. He is never going to be in her life."

"He fucked up that bad?"

"Yeah. He...he can never be in her life, ever."

Shawn rubs your back. "You haven't told me the whole story have you?"

"No." You sigh softly. "I knew if I did you'd probably kill him."

"What did he do?" Shawn asks, voice bordering on angry.

"Vince didn't want to grow up. He wanted to party and get drunk and smoke pot. That's all he ever wanted to do." You clench your jaw. "When he found out I was pregnant, he took everything out of my bank account and spent it all on getting wasted to cope with the news."

"He took your money? What the fuck?"

"Yeah he stole my bank card and drained my checking account at an ATM. After that he just sort of disappeared for a while, only stopping back at our apartment to get clothes sometimes. He was always drunk, I don't know if he was even working anymore."

Shawn runs his hand through your hair. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not physically, but emotionally and mentally yes. I stayed in that apartment for about six months because I couldn't find another place and deal with working and being pregnant. Rent went up and that's when moved in with my friend Casey until I had Olivia. Then I moved in with you here because you needed a roommate and Casey was being placed in a temporary smaller apartment due to repairs."

"I remember when you called me about moving in." He laughs softly to himself. "You were so nervous to tell me you had a new baby."

"I didn't want to be a burden."

"We've been friends for years. Of course you would never be a burden."

You sigh. "I wish I could have moved in here while I was pregnant. I wish I would have known you were going to be this supportive. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You're here now, and I wouldn't trade the last four years for anything. I love Olivia and I love you." He takes your hand and you slide your fingers between his. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

"About us?"

"Yes. The last few weeks we've been very familiar with each other, I thought maybe it was just me but you definitely have been returning the feelings. I just want to know if I'm reading this wrong, but, do you want to be more than just friends?"

You squeeze his hand as your nerves course through you like a thousand watts of electricity. "I would love nothing more than to be more than friends."

"Good. Because I don't think I've ever wanted someone more than you. I can't imagine a life without you and Olivia."

"Same. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Let's take it slow, for Livvy's sake. In case things are weird."

You nod. "Absolutely. One day at a time."

"Perfect."

"Oh, and...I guess if you really want to make a cake you can make one just for Livvy." You bite your lip and he grins triumphantly. "I know it'll mean a lot if you make a special one just for her."

Shawn leans in and kisses your cheek. "Thank you. I promise I'll just make it a small one and you can get a big cake for the party."

"Deal."

______________________

"Okay Livvy! Your dinner is ready!" You shout into the living room. Soon after you hear the thumping of tiny feet followed by much bigger thumps. In seconds you see your little girl get scooped up in the doorway by Shawn and spun around the dining nook.

"Mac and nuggets!" Olivia squeals and you set her Frozen character plate on the table with her requested dinner on it.

"Yes, and peas," you say softly and Olivia grimaces.

Shawn sets her on her chair and she starts eating. "Eat the peas too."

"Hmph."

"If you eat the peas I'll let you borrow my big teddy bear to sleep with you and Toby tiger."

Olivia nods and spoons a bunch of the peas into her mouth.

You hand Shawn a plate with baked chicken breast, peas and some macaroni and cheese on it. "For you."

"Looks good." Shawn sniffs the food as he takes a seat across from Olivia. "Did you marinate the chicken?"

You take a seat and start cutting into your own food. "Mhmm, it's that new recipe you wanted to try. The citrus one."

"Oh, I'm intrigued." He says, taking a bite and smiling. "You did good. Wanna try Liv?"

Olivia nods and Shawn holds out a small bite of his chicken for her to eat.

"Did momma do good?" You ask.

Olivia nod eagerly. "That's good! Fancy chicken."

Shawn chuckles softly. "Fancy ch-"

Pounding on the front door makes you jump in your seat. You and Shawn exchange silent looks, nether expecting company.

"I'll grab it. Stay here." Shawn says and gets up, heading around to the front door as the pounding comes again.

Olivia keeps eating, picking up her peas one by one and putting them on the Mac and cheese on her spoon.

"Are you the piece of shit trying to take credit for my kid!"

Your head snaps up, eyes wide. You know that voice. Vince.

"Hey, calm down. Can we take this in the hall?" It's Shawn and you get up, telling Olivia to stay in the kitchen. She answers with a softly little "okay momma".

You peek around the doorway to see Shawn gripping the wood of the door, only half open. You can't see Vince but you can sure hear him talking, no, drunkenly slurring from beyond the door.

"No, you're not coming in this house." Shawn shoves Vince back and steps out into the hall. Your stomach churns and you step closer to the door, pressing your ear to it to hear the conversation in the hallway.

"You gave up any right to that little girl when you abandoned her mother."

"Fuck you! You don't know my life! I was- I was trying to get a job!"

"For four years? She isn't your kid, and she never will be. You will never be part of her life. You don't know her."

"Who the fuck are you? The next...next guy she fucked? You fuckin freak, like women with kids yeah?"

"I get that you're trying to-" Shawn's words are cut off by a loud bang against the wall to your right. You hear someone groan and you worry Vince has hit Shawn.

"Momma what's going on?" Olivia asks from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Shawn's just talking to someone. Are you done with your dinner?"

"Uh-huh. Why is that man yelling?"

"Uh, well," you walk over and pick her up. "He's just very tired and confused."

"Like when forget I nap time?"

"Mmhmm." You smooth back her hair. "Let's go pick out your pajamas for bed."

"Can we play princess before bed?"

"Sure."

There is shouting from outside and you hold Olivia's head against yours as you pass the front door to go to her bedroom. The second you're in her room you close the door and turn the lock quietly. There is no telling what might happen, you know Shawn would die before he let Vince in the house, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

"Okay! Let's see what pajamas to wear tonight. What pajamas would a princess wear?" You exclaim loudly, trying to get Olivia's attention on bed time and away from the yelling outside. Hell. You're trying to get your own attention away from that too.

_____________________

A knock on Olivia's bedroom door several minutes into princess tea time makes you jump and you drop your tea cup.

"Baby? You in there?" It's Shawn. You take a deep breath, not realizing you had stopped breathing entirely for a moment.

You go to the door and open it up to see Shawn standing there. He looks fine, unscathed. He gathers you into his arms and you kiss his shoulder as you press your face into it. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you later, he's not going to come back though. Cops took him."

"The police showed up?"

"Yeah, the neighbor came out and called when Vince tried to hit me but went headfirst into the wall." Shawn says, pulling back to look at you. "I'll tell you everything later."

"Is the tired man gone now?" Olivia asks from her table.

"Yes pumpkin." Shawn steps past you to pick her up and kiss her cheek "Your mom and I need to talk. I'm going to tuck you in now."

"Can I have a story?"

You nod and Shawn lays her on her little bed. "Mom says yes. Can I pick?"

Olivia nods and gets her bed ready to sleep.

You hand Shawn one of the shorter stories from Olivia's library. "I'm going to put dinner away okay?"

"No problem, I'm not hungry anymore. Besides, she usually falls asleep when I read anyway."

"Thank you." You kiss his cheek and he smiles tiredly. "For everything."

______________________

Half an hour later and you are in your room with Shawn discussing what happened with Vince in the hall. Apparently he began to get belligerent after the loud thump you heard against the wall. That was Vince stumbling toward Shawn and missing. Somehow he found out that Olivia was calling Shawn daddy and that ticked him off. Why? You have no idea because he has never even seen your daughter as far as you know. You're pretty sure he found out about the daddy thing from Donna and after this you sure don't want her being anywhere alone with your child.

"So, I just hope Livvy is okay for her birthday tomorrow. It sucks that this had to happen the night before." Shawn leans his head back against the headboard of your bed. "Did Vince know it was almost her birthday?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if Donna told him. She says she doesn't talk to him anymore but somehow I don't believe that after this incident."

"Are you going to tell Donna not to come to the party tomorrow?"

You sigh heavily. "I don't know. Maybe I can talk to her then, tell her that she's not allowed to see Livvy anymore. I hate to take her out of Livvy's life but I can't have connections to Vince if Donna is gonna run her mouth.”

Shawn takes your hand and brings it up to kiss your fingers curled into his. "My parents are gonna be here tomorrow too remember? They're moving back to town at the end of the month. Maybe we can see if they can watch Livvy sometimes?"

"Your parents watching her?" You smile and he raises his eyebrows. "I thought we were taking this slow."

"We are, but we've also been taking it slow for four years. My parents love you, you know that."

"I know, I just don't want to burden them with babysitting when they haven't even met Olivia yet."

Shawn pulls you in for a kiss and your heart goes wild. "Stop worrying. My parents will be thrilled to have a grandchild to spoil rotten."

"Okay, okay." You chase his kiss and he rolls over on top of you, making your eyes go wide. This is a dream come true. "Easy now, slow remember?"

"Yeah." He kisses you again, biting at your lip. "We'll go nice and slow."

_____________________

Olivia's birthday is in full swing when Shawn's parents arrive. There are two kids running around with Olivia playing some made up game. Donna is in the kitchen with your neighbor who has a dog that Olivia always plays with on her walks with Shawn on Mondays. Your parents even called and chatted with Olivia on the phone for a bit.

"Mom! Dad!" Shawn cheers, walking over to his parents who are juggling a stack of gifts. "Holy sh-!"

You grab two boxes off the top of their stack and set them in the gift area near the living room. "Thank you so much, you didn't have to bring anything."

Karen waves you off with a laugh. "We couldn't help ourselves. As soon as Shawn said it was a party for your daughter, we went wild."

"Hey, how are you?" Manny says with a pat on your shoulder. "You look great."

"Thanks." You smooth down your silky shirt and look to Shawn. "Shawn got me this top actually, since everything else I have is very mom friendly."

Karen chuckles. "So, Shawn helps with Olivia I hear?"

Shawn steps over to you and wraps his arm around your back. "I do, but we actually wanted to share some more news with you."

"Ohmygod you're pregnant?" Karen grabs for Manny and he mumbles something about her calming down.

"No!" You laugh. "Not pregnant. We're together. Shawn and I."

"Oh! I thought that was already the case." Manny says with his arm around Karen. "We thought that happened ages ago?"

"No...no it's fairly recent." You look up at Shawn and he leans his head on yours. "We actually wanted to let you know that he is Olivia's dad."

"He...is?" Karen looks over to Olivia and her two friends giggling on the couch. "But I thought..."

"No, I mean we're going to tell her that I am her dad." Shawn says and his parents nod, understanding what you mean now. "We'll explain later if it needs to be explained. But for now-"

"Daddy!" Olivia runs over and wraps her arms around Shawn's legs. "Who's this?" She looks to his parents.

"This," he bends down and lifts the girl up onto his hip. "Is your grandma and grandpa."

"But...grandma and grandpa called me today." Olivia says slowly like she is confused.

"Yes, that was mom's parents, these are my mom and dad."

"Oh!" Olivia lays her head on Shawn's shoulder. "Hi."

Karen steps forward and takes Olivia's outstretched hand. "Hi there princess. You can call me Nana if you want."

Olivia giggles. "I like Nana. Your hair is pretty."

Karen smiles and Olivia reaches out to be held by her. "You're a big girl huh?"

"Mmhmm. I'm the tallest in daycare. One day I'll be tall like Daddy."

You cover your mouth as you stifle a laugh.

"Why don't you show Nana and Grandpa around while your mom and I get ready for cake?" Shawn suggests and Olivia slides out of Karen's arms, taking her and Manny's hands to lead them to her room. ___________________

The rest of the party goes incredibly well. Cake and ice cream lead to presents. Olivia got a bunch of new clothes and new toys. Shawn's parents got her a tablet to play learning games on that you have wanted to get her for months, but it was just too expensive.

Post party you and Shawn clean up while Olivia sleeps in her room. It's just after nine and you're surprised your little girl lasted as long as she did.

"I think my parents are completely in love with Livvy," Shawn chuckles as he covers the store bought cake with it's lid. "They wanted to know everything about her."

"I'm glad. Olivia seemed to really like them too."

"Did you talk to Donna?"

"Yeah, I pulled her aside after gifts and she said she understands. It'll be hard for her, but I just can't have Olivia being connected to Vince in any way."

Shawn walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist. "You have to do what's best for your family."

"I know. I just hope she doesn't ask about Donna too much." You lean your head back against his shoulder. "Y'know what I was just thinking about today?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to have to look at preschools soon."

"We, we are going to have to look at preschools." He walks you out of the kitchen, face in your hair. "I promise I will help you choose the best one for her."

"I know but-"

"Enough. Stop stressing for five minutes." Shawn lets you go and walks around in front of you to take your hands and lead you toward your bedroom. "The birthday party was a success. You've got me to help you out with Livvy. Take a breath, life is good right now. Just live."

You smile and he pulls you into him, kissing your nose. "I guess things are pretty good."

"Very good." Shawn kisses your neck and you fall back onto your bed. "Let me help you relax."

You lean your head against his and he bumps your noses together. "But-"

"Where is da-" Olivia stops mid sentence as she walks into your bedroom dragging her dog bed with her. "There's daddy!"

Shawn pulls back and looks down at the little girl and her oversized pillow. You exchange sheepish looks. "I'm right here Livvy. What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream."

You crawl off the bed and pick her up. "What about?"

"The man who was yelling at daddy yesterday."

"Oh baby, he can't hurt you. I promise you are safe."

Shawn grabs the dog bed and puts it on to your bed. You look at him and he looks concerned. The two of you definitely worried about the impact that your ex would have on her. You're glad she didn't see him, and just barely heard him, but it was enough.

Olivia wiggles out of your arms and curls up on the bed with her hand buried in the Sherpa lining. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Yes." You pet her hair back and Shawn moves to get off the bed. "Where are you going Shawn?"

"To my room? Unless...you want me to stay?"

"Stay!" Olivia cheers, tugging his hand, her little fingers wrapping around two of his. "Please?"

Shawn sinks back down onto the bed and lays beside Olivia on her bed. "That's up to your mom."

You pull back the blankets on your side and Olivia wiggles down into her pillow at the headboard. "You're staying Shawn. After all, you're part of this family."

"Mmm." Shawn smiles, crawling under the blankets on the opposite side. He props himself up on his elbow and boops Olivia's nose. "Promise you won't wake us up if we let you sleep with us?"

"I promise!" Olivia squeals, swatting at Shawn's finger.

"Alright." You tuck the blanket around her and she looks to Shawn. "Good night sweetheart."

"Good night Momma."

"Good night pumpkin." Shawn kisses her head.

Olivia yawns big and rubs her eyes. "Goodnight Daddy."

You lean over Olivia and Shawn gives you a kiss, just a quick peck on the lips. "Good night Shawn."

Shawn hums and leans back to shut off the nightstand lamp. "Goodnight baby."

"I love you Daddy," Olivia whispers in the dark. "Thanks for staying."

"Always."

End ------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading! Please Reblog! Shout out to @shawnm521 because without me rambling to her about a dream and then her rambling back at me I would never have written this. - A

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

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loudsuitlover · 4 years

Text

Doctor Harry VI. Cerca del suelo

A/N: DISCLAIMER THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY, I just want to write this here so I can read it when I get writer’s block again. I had forgotten how much I like writing. I guess I can say writer’s block is a really long, torturous and terrible thing but I’m starting to think it happened to me when my writing started getting attention because then I started writing for others and I don’t enjoy that half as much as I enjoy writing to myself. So this writing and this story is for me; but I’m gonna share it with you. That being said, happy reading!

Before: I, II, III, IV, V

**Contains filthy sinful smut and explicit language.

Ollie frowns before she bites her bottom lip and twirls her drink on her hand and I too watch the ice cubes dancing around on her glass. Jason laughs at something he’s told Marie on her ear and by the way her eyes widen and her cheeks turn pink I don’t want to know what he’s said.

“Indie.” Jason calls me. “Are you going to tell us or not?”

“Yeah, what happened?” Marie gives me a little smile.

She’s drunk already. I watch her tiny figure on her black top and her jeans and am afraid she keeps drinking because she’ll end up throwing up like I did last Friday. She gave me such a hard time this morning when I told them about my night with Harry even though Jason cut me short in order to keep the hype for this very same moment. Drinks after dinner and gossip. His favourite Friday night plan.

“Penis size.” Jason demands.

I roll my eyes before I smile at him mischievously as he joins his hands before his face as if he were going to pray and then slowly moves them away and away. Obviously I don’t say anything and his eyes widen.

“What?!” His hands keep separating from one another. “Okay, this is impossible. I’m starting over.”

Ollie throws her head back and laugh and I just shake my head. Marie tries to stop his hands and he gives up.

“It was big.” He shrugs. “The smile you got this morning confirmed it.”

We all laugh.

“I still can’t believe you actually slept with him.” Marie condemns. “He’s your tutor for God’s sake. He has to supervise your freaking essay! Have you thought about how you’re going to go on about that?”

“Okay, Marie, you need to calm down. It’s just an essay. It’s not like they have to perform an open-heart surgery together.”

“Harry told me if I wanted he could ask professor Gibbins to supervise my essay for me.” I shrug.

“But you’re not gonna do that, right?” Olivia asked.

I shrug again.

“See? That would clearly means it affects you academically.” Marie adds.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jason intervenes. “How is he coming on about it?” I fix my eyes on his with a questioning look. “I mean what has he said?”

“Well let her finish!” Olivia complains. “All we know is they had sex. We don’t know any details.”

“Well I’m not planning on giving you any details.”

“See? You killed the vibe guys!”

I roll my eyes.

“He didn’t say anything.” I tell them. “Because I left before he woke up.” I flinch.

Marie’s jaw falls, Olivia starts choking with her drink and Jason, being the dramatic queen he is, just spits his.

“You did what?” He yells.

“I panicked!” I defend myself. “I just… It all happened pretty fast I wasn’t even expecting to have sex with him at all and then we did and I fell asleep accidentally and I woke up at like 5 am and left because… Well because what was I doing there?”

“When you mean you fell asleep accidentally, you mean he tired you out so bad you literally just fell asleep?” Jason’s eyes provoke me with his usual spark I’ve missed so much lately.

I’m glad my drama is at least bringing playful Jason back. I haven’t heard him teasing any of us like that in weeks so I roll my eyes and sit back on my chair.

“And he hasn’t called you or text you or something?” Marie asks.

I shake my head and she places her hand on top of mine. This is what I love about Marie. I know she doesn’t approve of what I did but the way she cares about me overcomes her disagreement. She might not want me to get involved with Harry, but she’ll feel sorry for me if I don’t get what I want anyway.

“How is he going to call her if she’s the one who left?” Jason says. “You should call him!”

“But he’s the guy…” Marie shrugs. “Usually is the guy who calls.”

“Maybe that’s why I wasn’t good with girls.” Jason shrugs.

“You weren’t good with girls because you’re gay.” Olivia smiles.

“I’m bisexual.”

“You’re not.”

Jason smiles at her.

“The fact that I was never attracted to you does not make me gay, Ollie.”

She shrugs and pouts raising her eyebrows and if the concept whatever had a face, I’m sure it would be that one. They both laugh because they’re the same person in two different bodies. That’s the reason why JJ was never attracted to Ollie but they’re not ready to talk about that.

“So on Monday you’re just gonna go to his office with your essay and wait for him to give you corrections after not even calling him after you disappeared on him.”

I don’t know whether that was a question, an accusation or opcion C. I shrug. Olivia rolls her eyes and grabs my phone.

“Let me see.”

“No, Ollie! No, give it back!”

Jason defends her standing in the middle of us two as she unblocks my phone. I call for Marie’s help and she tries to grab the phone away from her but Olivia’s taller so my little ally has little to do.

“Where to begin?” She thinks out loud. “How should I start J?”

“Just call him.” Jason lets out.

“Do not. Do not call him.”

“Guys don’t be cruel.”

Marie tries to grab my phone back as the nerves eat my stomach up. I feel like puking.

“I’ll text him!” I offer and I spot Olivia’s head popping up from behind Jason’s back. She’s got a single eyebrow up and JJ and her exchange a look.

“I wouldn’t trust her but she’s about to cry. Give her the phone.” He shrugs.

Ollie hands me the phone and I check she didn’t text Harry anything with my heart pounding against my rib cage.

“What do you think I should do, Marie?”

Her eyes widen while Olivia and Jason complain about why I’d ask her and ignore them. I think Marie’s going to tell me she doesn’t know, that she doesn’t have much experience with guys, because ever since her ex cheated on her she hasn’t gone out with anyone but deep down I know I just want for someone to tell me I don’t have to call him and I think Marie is going to say that. Instead she shrugs and wraps her little arm around my shoulders.

“I think we should have another drink.”

Oh, Marie, you’re drunk and not helping much. I see Ollie and Jason arguing as we lean at the bar and wait for the waiter to take our order. He eyes my friend once as Marie looks to her nails. He eyes her again and smiles to himself.

“Marie, the waiter’s got the hots for you.”

Marie looks at him as he takes an order and then back at me with a questioning look. Damn it, she’s so unlucky. If this was a movie she would have caught him staring but this is not and that’s why Harry hasn’t called me either because this is not a movie, this is real life and in real life girls like me don’t go out with guys like Harry.

“I think you should text him.”

My eyes bulge as I look at Marie.

“What can I offer the prettiest girl at the bar?”

I hear her giggles from behind me. Good job, waiter. If he had said that to me I would have rolled my eyes and told him to get himself some glasses but this is Marie we’re talking about. She probably is the prettiest girl at the bar anyway and she’s also a firm romcom believer so that pick-up line was perfect for her.

“I’ll have Bacardi and coke and Bulldog and tonic, please.”

He winks at her before he disappears to get our drinks ready.

“What did you say?” I ask her as soon as she turns around.

“You didn’t want Bulldog? I can probably ask him to change it, sorry!”

She’s about to call the waiter when I stop her.

“No!” I tell her. “I mean, did you say you think I should call Harry?”

“I said text.” She points. “And yes, I did because I think you should. I just didn’t say anything in front of Jason and Ollie for them not to think they were right. Lord knows they don’t need me to feed their ego.”

Before I can argue, Marie’s waiter comes back with our two drinks and a bowl with gummy bears we didn’t ask for. He winks at Marie and doesn’t tell her how much she ought to pay. I smile. He’s good. Marie hands him her credit card anyway.

“It’s on the house.”

“No, it’s not.” She smiles.

“I insist.”

“If you want to offer me a drink, I’d rather you have it with me.”

My eyes widen behind my friend and I see the waiter blushing and laughing. Well done, Marie! He then accepts her credit card and asks for her phone number and my friend gives it to him and turns around as if that happened to her on a daily basis. We walk away like divas until we are at a safe distance and then we laugh out loud.

“What was that? Did Olivia’s spirit posses you?”

“I don’t know!” She laughs. “I mean we talked last night while you were on your date with Harry and you know how she is, she tried to convince me about the benefits of sporadic sex and I don’t know, it got me thinking.” She giggles. “He was handsome, right?”

“He was!” I laugh. “Guys, the waiter just asked for Marie’s number!”

“What? Which waiter?”

Jason’s eyes widen as he looks at her and Marie tells him the story and I don’t fail to notice the way Olivia’s eyes fall on her and she smiles knowingly. Oh, Ollie. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and hug her to my side even though she just tried to ruin my life by calling Harry treacherously because I know she means well.

I remember when she would tell Jason about how different things were when you actually took the time to get to know the person you were attracted to and everything about love and trust and forever and ever and Jason would go out with a different person every weekend.

It’s surprising how a heartbreak can change a person, just how love can change them back I guess for after Jack hurt Olivia she turned into Jason and ever since Jason met David he turned into a romantic soul defending and justifying a toxic relationship.

I wonder if there’s ever a healthy point. I think there might be if one of them or maybe both are psychotherapists but otherwise I think love is bound to make people crazy and then they start doing weird shit until the situation turns impossible and then one of them decides to end it or they both settle into being less happy than they could be.

“Yeah, right, and then he pays for dinner and thinks for that he has the right to fuck you and then he never calls you again.”

Marie’s words resound on my head like a mantra. And then he never calls you again… That would make everything easier and anyway part of me knew everything he wanted was a shag and then he’d get over it and act as if nothing ever happened but then why does it matter to me that he hasn’t called me?

“Sorry.”

When I look up I catch on the look Jason gave Marie for her to apologize. I don’t think they were talking about me but even if they were, I wouldn’t mind. They’re right. I feel like a prostitute.

“Anyway, Indie” Ollie has a sip from her drink and wiggles her eyebrows “did you like it?”

“What? The sex?”

She nods and shrugs raising her eyebrows as if saying what else?

“Well, Harry we all know you like.” She laughs.

What can I say?

“It was incredible.” I confess.

I don’t want to say what follows. I don’t even want to think about it. It can’t be true anyway. There’s no way it’s true. I don’t love Harry. But precisely because I don’t love him I could admit it was the best sex without love of my life. Yeah, that could be it. It doesn’t make me feel less guilty though.

“Well, at least it was worth the trouble.”

“What trouble?” Ollie asks.

“Well, I mean it’s not the smartest thing to do if she wants him to respect her.” Marie raises her eyebrows.

“What?” I will not stand that. “So just because I have sex I don’t deserve respect?”

“No, Indie, you know what I mean. I just mean if the rest of doctors hear about it, what do you think they would think?”

“Why would I care what they think?” I am getting mad. “I can’t believe you’re saying that, Marie. It’s precisely for comments like that that we can’t move past it. Do you realize how sexist you’re sounding right now? You don’t think that same thing of him, do you? Just because he’s a man!”

“I am the sexist? You were the one who let her professor fuck her! Who knows how many students has he fucked?”

I can’t believe my ears.

“Let him fuck me?” I’m disgusted at her choice of words. “There were two people on that bed, you know? I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t let him fuck me. I fucked him too!” I only realize I’m screaming when I notice the eyes of those around us on me. “I know how to say no, you know?”

“Well you said you didn’t want to sleep with him and look at you.” She whispers. “Are you sure you didn’t leave in the morning because you regretted it? Maybe you were even embarrassed?”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me.”

I leave Marie gasping like a fish out of water and walk outside to the terrace. It’s the end of October already and it’s rather chilly today so I’m not surprised when I realize the only people around me are smoking.

I bring the collar of my denim jacket to my chin and hug my frame as I look ahead at the lights on the bars on the other side of the street. I can’t believe Marie had said all that to me. One minute she’s saying she thinks I should text him and the other she’s throwing all that shit at me. I know she’s overly protective but she can be such a bitch sometimes too.

And I quite frankly don’t get the concept she has of sex. She almost made it sound as if Harry had somehow raped me and for the love of God even thinking about it makes me hate her words. What happened with Harry was… Perfect.

And that’s why I left.

I feel tears blurring my vision. Fuck. I wasn’t expecting these thoughts to be clouding my mind now. I feel my phone vibrating and take it out the pocket of my jacket. Rio said he would text me when he was going home and check if I needed a ride but it’s too soon for him to want to go home already. Maybe he’s having a shitty night just like I am.

Harry: What are you doing?

I hold the phone on my hand and can barely believe my eyes as I read his text again and again. I hadn’t even thought about one of the many terrible things Marie just said. How many students has he fucked? I don’t know if I care. I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t care about how many women he’s fucked in the past or even how many women he’s fucking now. I can’t walk around pretending I’m the most liberated woman and then question how many women my partner has fucked. If he’s fucked a lot of students well, good for them.

He clearly has experience. One isn’t a master in sex by studying about it. The way he touched me and the way he hit every spot he needed to clearly indicated practice. But it’s not about the practice or even the sex. I don’t care about that, that I know. It’s about fucking students.

I entertain the thought that Marie might be right. What if he did take advantage of me? What if he always does this? Make his student wet and then get in her panties and if I’ve seen you, I don’t remember. This is the kind of behaviour I would condemn if I heard about it. I would be one of those people who would think he was a jerk for taking advantage of a student like that. I guess that’s just another way of being sexist though.

“Hey.” Olivia places her hand on the spot between my shoulder blades.

“Hey.” I give her a little smile.

“Marie’s really sorry.” She mediates. “She wanted to come talk to you but I told her it was better if she gave you some space.”

“Do you think she’s right?”

Olivia shakes her head.

“Do you?”

It’s hard for me to know that kind of things now. It’s a fear I can’t get rid off. After Javier, I mean after getting out of an abusive relationship like that, I keep wondering if I would ever jump right back into another. Whether I’m that profile of girl and I’m bound to have my partner abusing of me whether I realize it or not.

I’m seeing that with Jason too and I realize how scary and how hard it is. He doesn’t see it, he’s completely blind and you start wondering how is it possible that not only he doesn’t realize but he also justifies it. It’s very frustrating to talk to someone that not only allows someone else to hurt them but actually understands them. It’s scary what someone can do to somebody’s mind.

“Can I tell you what I think?” Olivia lights up the cigarette between her lips and I shrug. “I think you like him.”

I look ahead. That doesn’t matter. I still have my phone on my hand and we both look down when the screen lights up and another text pops up.

Harry: Are you home?

“And he likes you too.” Olivia smiles. “Answer him. I’m gonna get us another drink.”

Indie: It’s Friday night. Of course I’m not.

Harry: What? You go out every single Friday night?

Indie: Don’t you?

Harry: Sometimes I forget you’re 21.

Harry: Can we talk?

Indie: We’re talking.

Harry: I mean can I see you?

Indie: It’s Golden Girls’ night.

Harry: Can I call you then?

Indie: What’s the problem with texting?

Harry: Sometimes you forget I’m 27.

I chuckle and call him. He answers on the first beep.

“Why did you leave?”

Oh, boy.

“I had to go. You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You had to go? In the middle of the night?”

“It was morning…”

“Indie.”

“I wanted to go home before uni so I left early. I didn’t realize I had to give you any explanations.”

“Fuck, Indie. Are you always so blunt?”

“I did warn you. You said I got to be blunt.” I shrug even though he can’t see me.

“You didn’t even let me say goodbye.”

“Well, it’s not like you saying goodbye would have made a difference, is it?”

“I would have kissed you” he argues “and that would have made a difference.”

My knees go weak.

“Are you with Olivia?”

“Yes?”

Please tell me he’s not about to ask me for her phone number. I would tear his head off.

“Okay. I’ll see you.”

I feel tickles on my belly as I make my way inside the bar. Jason gives me an innocent smile as Marie looks at me as if I was the one deciding whether she should go to prison or not. I offer her my hand across the table and she holds it as her bottom lip tremble. I know she’s sorry and God knows sometimes I say things I don’t mean too. It would be very hypocritical of me not to let it go now.

I see Olivia smiling on the phone and give my friends a questioningly look but they shake their head. Jason stands up from the table and tells us he’s leaving. I’ve already fought with Marie tonight and quite frankly I don’t feel like fighting him about the same thing again but silently we all know he’s going because David doesn’t like it when we party until morning. I give him a hug though as he says goodbye.

“Whaaaat?” Ollie pouts. “You’re leaving? What’s this? Where are the party animals I used to know and love? Mario’s on his way!”

I spit my drink. Marie’s eyes set on mine. We’re both horrified.

As soon as Jason leaves Marie comes back with two more drinks, a peace offer she says, but I know she just wanted to see her waiter again. I appreciate the drink though. I had enough thinking tonight and I want to let it all go. Getting drunk doesn’t solve anything. Alcohol would make her shut up too.

“When did this happen?” I interrogate Olivia.

She’s been making all these questions to me and she hadn’t told us this bomb!

“He’s my tutor…” She shrugs. “So the other day we had a cup of coffee while we went on about my clinical case and…” She smiles. “He’s funny.”

“And?”

“And… We started talking.”

“And how does he have your phone number?”

“I gave it to him.”

I raise my brows. If she’s gonna make us ask every little piece of information… We will.

“Why?”

“Because I have to catch up on the practices I missed when I went to France to visit my mamie.”

Marie and I look at each other with mouths agape before we both look at her.

“And you’re going to catch up on that now?” Marie asks.

Olivia rolls her eyes and grins as she waves at someone at the door. Marie and I turn our heads and my breath catches on my throat when my eyes meet the green.

Harry’s grinning as he walks towards us. Marie’s foot keeps kicking me under the high table but my eyes don’t leave his. I don’t think I could look away if I tried. Memories of last night play in my mind like a movie and I wonder if they play on his too. I woke up on his bed this morning for crying out loud.

“Hi.” He greets us.

“Hi.” Marie offers him her little hand and he shakes it amused.

“Hi.” I smile and his green eyes set on my lips.

If I had any doubts… He’s definitely thinking about last night too.

“Hi, Mario.” I give him another smile and he smiles back.

“Hi, Indie. How are you?”

He’s grinning like a kid in Christmas and he looks so much younger than he normally does at the hospital. I almost want to aww at him but I won’t. Oh, Ollie, please don’t hurt him. He looks like a teddy bear.

“This is my cousin Tommy.”

Mario introduces the third guy that came with them and he sits down next to Marie. The perfect sync tells me they’ve talked before they got here. Marie laughs at something Tommy says and I roll my eyes. She really needs a shag like Ollie says.

Ollie and Mario disappear to order drinks for all of them and Harry simply stands next to me with a big smile. I don’t know how I feel about him not being even a little annoyed that I left without waking him even though I didn’t do it to annoy him but… It still bothers me a little.

“Let me guess” I tell him “A glass of water for you.”

He throws his head and laughs.

“I actually drink Sprite when I go out.”

“Sprite?” I chuckle. “I’ve never met anyone who drinks just Sprite. I mean anyone over six years old.”

He chuckles.

“Well, I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.” He offers me his hand and I shake it. “I drink just Sprite when I go out and I normally say goodbye to people I fuck before I leave.”

Ouch. I narrow my eyes at him but don’t say anything and as if on cue, Olivia and Mario appear with his Sprite and Mario’s and Tommy’s drink. I look away from him and pay attention to Tommy as he tells Marie about his life but the entire time I can feel Harry’s eyes on me.

I notice women look at him too but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead he looks at me. He knows he’s annoying me. I wonder if he’s so used to women staring and trying to get with him that his brain doesn’t even see it anymore like it does with our noses.

“Is there something on my face?”

He shakes his head and that stupid smile stays.

“But it’s hard for me not to see you naked on my mind.”

My face heats up immediately and horrified I look at both my friends but they’re both busy chatting up the Italian cousins. He leans closer to my body so he can whisper in my ear.

“And remember how you taste” my breathing trembles “and how you smell” he inhales my parfum and hums in appreciation and I feel my fingers tightening around my drink “and how you feel, so tight and wet and warm” his fingers wrap around a strand of my hair and he glides them down until the tip before he rests it on my back.

“Why me?”

As I turn my neck to face him, I hear him suck in a breath at our proximity. I play it cool but my mouth goes dry too, especially when I see I have that effect on him too.

“Why you what?”

“Why do you insist on me?”

“So pretty with your lips red.”

I sigh and look away from him. If he’s not going to answer my questions then I won’t give him the time of the day.

“I don’t know.” He confesses next to me.

I turn my neck again and stare into his green eyes searching for any sign of lying but all I find is sincerity and confusion? Is he as confused as I am?

“Don’t lie.”

I hear him puffing through his nose and watch him. His jaw clenches.

“I told you I don’t lie.” He reminds me. “I really don’t know, Indie. I don’t know why I can’t get you out of my head but I can’t and I want to fuck you all the time.” He shrugs.

I remember what he said about always saying what’s going through his mind and after that, I believe him. I feel my mouth going dry and I want him to fuck me too. I’m afraid this man can read my mind because I don’t know why but I know he knows that too. Maybe I can read his mind too or maybe I’m as obvious as he is.

“Come home with me.”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I still have some questions to ask him and I want to stop thinking again. I think last night was the first time I stopped torturing myself in three years and I want to feel like that again.

I guess it’s strange that it doesn’t feel weird to me to walk next to him towards his car or that we said our goodbye to my friends as if it was normal that we left together and it’s also strange that I like the way people look at us down the street. He doesn’t walk too close to me or touches me at all and I reckon he might be as scared that someone from the hospital would see us together as I am. My phone vibrates and Rio’s name appears on the screen.

“Hi, Blue.” My brother’s deep voice greets me.

Everyone in my family has always called me by my middle name. I only started being Indie when I met Dylan.

“Hi there. Going home already?”

“Yeah, the guys wanted to go clubbing but since we have mum’s meeting tomorrow morning I thought it smarter to go home.” He chuckles.

“Yeah.” I chuckle too.

“Are you coming?”

“No, not yet.”

“Are you with Jason and the girls?”

“Yeah.” I lie.

“Cool. Don’t come home alone. Call me if you need me to pick you up.”

“Sure, Rio. Thank you.”

“That’s okay. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Who’s Rio?” Harry asks as soon as I hang up the phone.

If he wants to know about my family I’ll answer his questions. I don’t mind talking about my family. Other things... Well, that’s another story.

“Rio’s my brother.”

He nods. I’m surprised when he doesn’t ask anything further but he seems awfully quiet. Just ten minutes ago he was teasing me and he seemed to be ready to fuck me against that very same table and now he seems to be deep in thought. I don’t know why but I don’t like seeing him like this. I like the carefree, smiley Harry who doesn’t seem to have a worry in the world.

“Is everything alright?”

It’s the first time he looks at me like that. His green eyes seem dull and I feel like I just touched something that I shouldn’t. His gaze makes me shiver. He sighs and looks ahead and simply shakes his head.

Once again his sincerity surprises me. I’m gonna have to start believing that he does not lie. Out of nowhere, because I don’t like seeing him like that, I reach for his hand and hold it in mine and he eyes our intertwined hands together before he removes his as if mine burnt. What burns then are my cheeks. Why did I do that?

I am beyond embarrassed and I’m glad he isn’t making any comments because the last thing I want right now is to talk about it. If he were to say something, I’d thank him for removing his hand from mine. It still stings.

Lustful imagines fill my mind as we make our way inside his apartment and my eyes fix on the same wall he had me pressed against less than 24 hours ago. My mouth goes dry just by thinking about it and all I want is for him to take me like he did the night before. I turn to look at him and my eyes must speak for me because without wasting another minute he kisses me against the door.

He still has his keys on his hand, the one that’s resting on my waist, until he lets them fall and I hear the jingling sound against the floor and then his hand snakes under my denim jacket and he places his palm on my back pulling me to him and pressing my chest against his.

His lips are soft and tender and he tastes sweet and minty. I enjoy the way he knows how to use his mouth, his kisses having a direct line with my belly, that flips and roars and sends electricity to the rest of my body; and my fingers find a home on his hair as I gently tug at his soft strands. His tongue licks my lips before he rolls it over mine and we start a wet battle I don’t mind losing.

Holding my body close to his with one hand on my back, he takes my jacket off with the other, letting it fall to the ground. On the silence of his apartment, I hear the fabric when it hits the floor and forms a blue denim mound, and I hear our mouths and our breaths mixing together.

Without saying a word or stopping our kiss, he walks along the grey hall and guides me backwards towards the bathroom inside his bedroom and only once inside he breaks the kiss and turns my body around, pressing my back against his chest.

The walls are pearl grey but this time it’s a grey tile with horizontal stripes that remind me of the blunt tips of those mountain rocks where you can see the layers that build the mountain. The sink is part of a white marble top that stands below a big mirror where I can see his hands caressing the skin of my bare arms before one hand presses against my belly through my dress and up to my chest where he cups one of my breasts and squeezes the flesh. I moan and rest the back of my head on his shoulder and he takes the opportunity to kiss, suck and nibble on the skin of my neck. I watch on the mirror his right hand grabbing the hem of my dress over my right thigh and lifting it up until he exposes my hip.

Delicately his large hands grab the hem of my dress and carefully lifts it up until he takes it off me and then his wandering hands caress the skin of my front and massage my breasts. His hot breath on my shoulder raises goosebumps and ignites my desire for him.

“You’re so soft.” He whispers on my ear before he presses a single kiss against my pulse. “And so warm.”

He stops touching me and it’s like he leaves me naked all over again. I tilt my neck so I can see him and he captures my lips with his and dives his tongue inside my mouth. I moan and press my bum against his groin and I can’t control my arousal when I feel his excitement against my hot skin. I feel his fingers moving against my back as he unbuttons his shirt and I focus on the noises. His breathing on my ear, the soft fabric falling down his arms, his zipper going down…

He stops my hands when I try to unclasp my bra and I still see him through the mirror unclasping it himself and placing all my garments together on the marble top. I am not even aware of my own reflection since Harry’s steals all my attention and doesn’t let me see anything else. His body is athletic and tall and his skin is pale and inked and I want to run my tongue across all of him and kiss every corner of his body. Leaving my undies on, his large hands caress my legs as he kneels down and playfully bites the flesh of my ass as he takes off my shoes.

I think my mouth is so dry I couldn’t speak if I wanted to but there’s nothing to say anyway. There’s something about this silence between us as if we were accustomed to each other that keeps me quiet. Finally he snakes both his hands under the hem of my panties on either side of my hips and caresses down my legs taking my underwear down with his hands. When we are both fully naked, he gently pushes me so I walk inside the shower and he closes the screen behind us.

There’s no sign of the playful Harry, neither of the filthy Harry I got to know last night. Instead he looks at me as if I was the most precious thing on the world and I feel my legs turning into jelly under his worshipping stare. Despite his calm, his length rests against his belly stiff, tight and shinny and my mouth waters. I wonder if he’d let me wrap my mouth around him if I asked but I’m afraid of doing so. He doesn’t seem to mind my curious staring as he approaches me and corners me against the wall. His hand snakes behind me and he turns on the water that falls on top of us and get us soaked in seconds.

My eyes are closed when his hot mouth gapes against mine before he fully kisses me and his hands fall to my ass, grabbing my flesh as he presses me against his hard on. I thank God he’s holding me for otherwise I think my legs would have brought me down already.

Stamping wet kisses everywhere his lips land, he turns my body slowly so that my back is pressed against his front once again and I moan out loud when I feel his fingertips tickling the insides of my thighs. My mouth parts at the touch of his two middle fingers intruding ever so delicately and his worked up breathing against my cheek sends my chest into a frenzy.

My left hand caresses the skin on his arm as his wrist moves back and forth and his fingers curl deliciously inside me and my other hand searches for his hair and caress his scalp.

“You’re so beautiful, Indie” He presses a kiss against my shoulder “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” My voice is all but a whisper but he doesn’t press it.

His fingers make me lightheaded but have me dying for more so I press my hips against his and moan when I feel his hot, stiff length against the low of my back. He grunts and his fingers fasten making me lose my mind completely.

“Harry” I moan, swallowing the water that falls on my mouth from the shower in an attempt to hydrate my throat. “I want you.”

“I’m right here.” He whispers.

“I want you inside.”

I bend my neck so my eyes look into his because I’ve found he’s very good at reading them and I want him to see them beg, in case he didn’t have enough with the desperation of my voice.

“Fuck, Indie. I don’t… I don’t have a condom.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I turn my body around and bring his mouth to mine with my hands on his neck. Our lips meet and battle and Harry’s merciless mouth attacks mine before his tongue soothes every red blood patch. I feel my lungs closing on me at the anticipation of having him bare and having him release white hot cum inside my cunt so that it drops out and stains my inner thighs but then his words resound on my head and I pull back.

“Are you-” On a sane moment, I stop the question before I ask.

Of course he’s having sex with other people.

“I always wear a condom.” He cups my face and presses a sweet kiss against my lips. “But I can make you cum with my fingers and have you afterwards.”

I nod my head and with that he takes me back to the place where I’m nothing but what he touches.

I still have trouble breathing when we come out of the shower. He doesn’t stop amazing me, the way he treats me and touches me as if I was made out of glass. I wonder if he touches every woman like that and I ignore the feeling on my throat. He’s staring at me. Please, don’t, don’t look at me like that. I feel very exposed, standing completely naked in his shower as his eyes investigate every part of my body.

He grabs a fresh towel from the cupboard underneath the sink and my lips part when instead of giving it to me or using it to dry himself, he hides his two hands underneath the towel and presses them against my skin in a calming, almost hypnotic ritual. He’s quiet and his expression is serious but calm. I think the troubled Harry is gone. I indulge in the way he softly presses the towel instead of rubbing it as if he was going to hurt my skin if he didn’t act so delicately. He’s kneeling in front of me as he dries my thighs and my belly and watching him I forget my exposure to him. He presses a kiss on my hipbone and then stands up and kisses my lips and being fully dried, I’ve never felt wetter.

I grab the towel from his hands and do the exact same thing he did to me but to his body and I feel lucky he lets me. My hair is wet against my back contrasting my dry mouth and I moisten my lips with every inch of his skin I carefully dry. His skin is tight and soft but thick and firm as it covers his lean muscles. Sometimes I let my fingers rest against his warm skin. I guess it’s my own timid version of the kisses he pressed against mine. When I look up at him, his green eyes look at me, seemingly confused.

I hate that he does that. He allows himself to do all these things with me, like staring at me as if he’s never seen a woman before or kiss me as if he meant it but he never lets me reciprocates. He takes his hand away when I hold it and now looks at me like that. I stand tall and leave the towel next to my clothes on the sink and when I’m about to walk away his long fingers wrap around my wrist and turn me around.

I watch him intertwined our fingers with the hand he has taken away before on his sudden mutism and he just stares at our intertwined hands as his thumb caresses my skin before he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. I don’t know why, but I take it as a silent apology and taking his hand to my lips, I kiss it on silent forgiveness. He's still rock hard and I don’t know how he can stand there so seemingly impassive when all his blood is on that one precious part of his body. In one of his mood changes, he shifts from calm, soft Harry to the passionate, wild one and he pins me against the wall before his mouth devours mine. His teeth nibble on my bottom lip and make me moan. I’m so ready for him I’m scared of it.

Suddenly he removes his body from mine and I feel the cold his void left as he kneels in front of the sink and opens the cupboard. His absence lets me see my reflection on the mirror. I almost don’t recognize myself. My hair is humid and disheveled. Some strands frame my rosy cheeks and my chest is flushed as it moves up and down on a laborious breathing. As if I wanted to make sure that woman is me, I bring my mouth to my lips and watch her do the same. They feel warm against my mouth and they’re red blood.

When Harry stands tall, he turns his neck and looks at the mirror too and his eyes darken when he realizes I was watching myself.

“You look ravishing.”

“Then ravish me.”

I hear myself whisper and wait for him against the wall. I’ve never seen anyone putting on a condom faster and then I am levitating, mentally and physically, for Harry holds my waist and lifts me up so my feet aren’t touching the ground. As if I have done this before, my legs wrap around his waist as if my body knows what to do even when my head doesn’t. Just like last night and like I did in the shower, I let myself go and I feel that invisible deadweight I always carry on my chest lift and leave me. I feel light as a feather during those seconds before he plunges into my depths breaching every barrier of my intimacy but I welcome his intrusion as we both sigh at the feeling.

I feel like I’m dancing upon that fine line between pain and pleasure for I feel so full and the pressure takes every thought I’ve ever had away and his hips are unforgiving as he pushes in and out of me. I try to sustain my body weight, hands pushing off his shoulders and I want to ask him if I’m too heavy or if he’s okay but a whisper of his name is all I can muster among whimpers and soft pants.

We’re not even five feet away from his bed, a big, soft, comfortable bed where we could have a banquet of one another like we had the night before but it’s precisely the urgency, the animalistic, desperate need that’s sending me to the edge faster than it ever has. His ruthless hips lift my body against the tile every time he thrusts and my bare back slides down the wall every time he removes my hold rolling out of me but when my nails cling onto his shoulders and I’m afraid I’m gonna fall, he pushes in again and the whole ritual begins. The adrenaline runs through my veins at the feeling of free falling but his hands and thighs sooth me with the security of his hold. He’s taking me high but he won’t let me fall.

His grunts and groans hunt me like a heavenly song and I try to keep my ears opened so I can record his sounds and replay them when I’m not with him but it’s hard to pay attention to anything different from that desirable spot only he’s reached as he hits it again and again and again and again. I miss him every time he pulls out but it’s only for a second before he’s pushing in again.

His hands move from my hips to the back of my thighs and in an instant of panic, thinking he’s about to put me down, I clench my thighs around him tighter and he curses under his breath. I watch him as his thrusts become faster and he can’t barely get his length out but his vulnerable grunts and the way he looks, flushed and out of his mind, are enough for me. His forehead falls on mine and his hot breath hits my cheeks while he grins.

“Sorry.” He pecks my cheek. “I would have lasted longer if you hadn’t done that.” He’s smiling.

“I thought you were going to put me down.” I pout.

My hands snake from his shoulders to his hair and he chuckles before he kisses my neck.

“I was going to. I was going to take you to bed and give myself a second so I could make you cum first but when you tightened your thighs around me…” He tilts his head. “Fuck.”

“Sorry.” I smirk naughtily and he chuckles.

“You should be.” He kisses me as he rolls out and finally puts me down leaving a sad feeling of emptiness between my legs. “You should be illegal.” He spanks my ass playfully and walks out of the bathroom.

I grin like a fool and take this minute of solitude to take in the way I feel and relish on it. I bring my hand to my lower lips and blush when I notice how wet I am. I close the door of the bathroom to pee and clean myself. When I open the door, I don’t find Harry on his bed but I see a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt and even a pair of boxers folded on the mattress. His voice calls my name from outside his room.

“Are you hungry?” He must be in the kitchen.

I’m not really hungry but if he has something to eat, I might nibble on it. I doubt but when I’m about to expose myself to a new possible embarrassment he saves me. He’s leaning against the doorframe of his room in a pair of olive-green sweatpants. How can someone look so good in sweatpants?

“Those are for you.” He smiles. “But you can grab anything else from my wardrobe too.”

“No, these are fine. Thank you.”

Seeing him half dressed suddenly makes me uncomfortably aware of my own nudity so I put on his t-shirt without even looking at it.

“I was going to say you could also walk around naked” he grins smugly as I walk towards him “but that was before I knew you looked so sexy on my clothes.”

I rest the low of my back on his kitchen island and let my eyes wander across the white cupboards. The counter is white marble too and so is the island where my hips rest. The distribution seems weird to me, the sink is on the counter in front of me and behind that it’s his room and on the kitchen island he’s got the stove and under it the oven and some more cupboards. I guess it’s not so much of a kitchen island as it is an open kitchen.

I tilt my neck and see the living room and the views outside the glass windows. I imagine him cooking and looking through the window. He’s got a nice view of the city from there. He’s been watching me the entire time with a smile on his face.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You want the explicit version?”

He washes his hands on the sink but tils his neck so he can see me.

“Please.”

“I was thinking about sitting you up on that counter and making you cum on my mouth.”

My eyes widen and my face and neck heats up. This man is going to be the death of me. He’s insatiable.

“So what do you feel like having? I have fruit and bread and-” he opens the cabinets and makes a list of the food he has as if he had not just said that and for a second I think I have imagined it.

“So you’re not going to?”

I think I did say that out loud because he turns his head and looks at me with raised eyebrows.

“You want me to?”

“No,” Yes “it’s just that you said you were thinking about it and then offer me fruit?”

I must be hilarious to him because he throws his head back and laughs out loud.

“If I fucked you every time I think about it, you couldn’t walk.”

I lick my lips. He makes my mouth dry all the time. What is he doing to me? I’m gonna end up like a sex addict like him. I enter his game. If he can say these things and then act as if nothing happened so can I.

“Can I have a glass of milk?”

“You want milk?”

I roll my eyes when I see the way he’s grinning and I swat his chest playfully. He laughs and apologizes before he pours a glass of milk and hands it to me and then he grabs a clementine and peels it as his eyes fix on me.

“When you asked me why I didn’t drink” He says “what did you originally want to ask me?”

I frown. Seriously how does he know what I think all the time? How can he know I wanted to ask him something else? Am I that obvious?

“I already got my answer.” I shrug. “I wanted to ask you why you had chosen to supervise my essay.”

He nods. I drink my milk. That makes me think about what Marie said. I’m afraid of what he’ll answer if I ask him with how many students he’s been. I don’t want him to ruin what just happened by telling me this is something he’s done before and making me feel like just another one of his conquests even though that’s what I am.

“Why do you think I chose you?” His green eyes are narrowed as he studies my expression.

I don’t know how to answer that without degrading myself to the floor. Why did he even ask me? Why would he want to humiliate me like that? I think he can sense my discomfort.

“Indie?” He presses.

“Well it’s clear, isn’t it?”

“I chose you because you’re intelligent and you pay attention and you always ask interesting questions. It’s clear that you like what you do and I thought your essay would be interesting to read.”

My lips seal. I wasn’t expecting that. I feel stupid for thinking otherwise and I feel bad and sexist for having thought that way about myself. Sometimes we don’t need anyone to put ourselves down.

“You thought I had chosen you for your pretty face?”

“I didn’t think you had chosen me for my pretty face.”

I know there are lots of girls prettier than me in my class alone. I thought he had chosen me because he had this smug obsession of wanting the only thing he couldn’t have or something like that but I don’t think I’m pretty enough for him out of all people to choose me for my pretty face.

I yawn. I must look terrible because I’m not wearing any make up since our shower. Dear Lord I’m not wearing any make up since our shower! I must have looked like a panda bear under the water. That ruins the whole imagine. He wasn’t standing there with a beautiful girl under the shower but with a moaning wet panda.

“Well good” peacemaker Harry walks towards me with a beautiful smile and takes the now empty glass from my hand and leaves it on the counter next to me before he pecks my lips “because, despite your pretty face, I chose you for what’s in here” his fingertip delicately knocks on my temple and I smile. “You’re pretty tired, aren’t you?”

I yawn again and he chuckles. My hands cling onto his shoulders when I feel his arm under my knees and he lifts me up and carries me bridal style towards his room. I chuckle and hold onto his chest.

“I can walk, you know?”

“I know.” He grins.

We both chuckle as he walks towards his room and then he carefully places me on his bed. My eyes set on the picture on his bedside table again as he gets in bed next to me.

“Who are they?” I ask and yawn.

“Tired but still nosy.” He jokes.

He lifts his head so he can have a look at the photo even if he doesn’t need to because it’s his picture. He should know what he has next to his bed.

“They’re my mum and my sister.”

I hum. My eyes are already closed when I feel his kiss on my temple.

“Harry”

“Yeah?”

“Did I look like a raccoon on the shower?”

I smile with my eyes closed as he laughs out loud. I wish I could see him because I’ve never heard him laughing that hard but Morpheus is very distracting. What I hear next I don’t know if he said or I dreamt it because as he answers my question it’s like he’s speaking my own thoughts.

“It’s because you stop my mind.” He whispers.

158 notes · View notes

skzsauce01 · 4 years

Text

In Fair Verona︱Chapter 5

Synopsis: Jisung knows he is the Romeo to your Juliet. He could wax poetry about you all throughout rehearsal and even a little after. Except Hwang Hyunjin is the one playing Romeo in the school play, not him. Jisung is just another tech crew member that you don’t know, but he’s determined to win your heart... by any means necessary.

Warning: none... yet

Word Count: 2.2k

Pairing: fem!reader x Jisung; fem!reader x Hyunjin

updates every Wednesday and Sunday @ 11 PM PST︱chapter list

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

I do bite my thumb, sir.

Jisung spends the entire weekend brooding and checking you and Hyunjin’s social media for updates. Hyunjin posts a picture of you sitting across from him with a cup of pink yogurt and a cup of lavender yogurt in the middle. You hold a pink plastic spoon in your hand and smile at the camera. “Romeo and Juliet, but they eat froyo instead of poison,” reads the caption. Jisung almost hurls his phone against the wall.

When Monday rehearsal arrives, he’s relaxed enough to have a civil conversation with Hyunjin. Hyunjin compliments his shirt while waiting for his cue in Act I, scene I. Jisung jokes that his shirt looks nice as well, and they both politely laugh. Once his back is turned though, Jisung places his thumb between his teeth. Flipping him off would be too direct. Analyzing this stupid play in freshman year finally has some use. He does it again when Hyunjin exits the stage.

“Is your thumb bleeding?” Yugyeom asks. “There’s band-aids in the classroom.”

Jisung swiftly takes it out of his mouth. “I’m fine. I was just… thinking,” he lamely says. “I’m gonna go wash my hands now.”

He tells Changbin, who in turn tells him to hurry because the scene is going to end in a few minutes. Then, against the rules that have hardwired into his brain, he runs down the hallway to the bathroom. As he lathers his hands in soap, he wonders how else he can express his hatred towards Hyunjin without anyone knowing. Deliberately place props in prime locations for tripping over? “Accidentally” hit him with set pieces during blackouts? He turns on the faucet and rinses the soap off.

He makes it backstage just as the lights go out. He doesn’t even bother with his headset; he helps Changbin with the couch as Ryujin and Yugyeom roll out the fake windows. When he’s back in the wings, he sees you chatting with Hyunjin while you wait for your cue. He waves hello to you, but you’re too preoccupied with the conversation to notice. His hand drops to his side, and his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He puts his headset back on and resumes his usual activity of watching you perform. He spots Hyunjin doing the same. It feels like a competition now: who pays attention to and adores Y/N the most?

“She’s a great actress,” he says out loud. “Don’t you think so, Ryujin?”

She looks up from her phone and out onto the stage. “Lady Capulet?” she asks incredulously.

“No, Juliet.”

Hyunjin visibly perks up when he hears your name. Or rather, your character’s name.

“Oh. She’s good, I guess,” she shrugs. “Probably why she has the lead role.”

“She’s, like, Olivia Hussey good. She portrays Juliet well.”

Jisung barely knows what he’s saying, but Ryujin seems to buy it. She nods before turning her eyes back to her phone screen. Jisung feels himself inflate with pride as Hyunjin doesn’t say anything. He waits for him to turn around and agree, but he just continues to wait for the next scene to begin.

The tide quickly turns as the party scene approaches. Jisung drives himself mad wondering if you and Hyunjin will actually kiss. Stage kisses are the norm in JYP Academy Theater, but Ms. Park demanded real kisses last Friday. Will the kiss simply be skipped over like usual and only performed during the main shows? Will you let him kiss you? Jisung’s head spins with the word ‘kiss,’ and he envisions Hyunjin placing his lips on yours in front of an audience. His own lips curl up in horror, and he taps his foot against the floor in a panic.

When the moment arrives, he finds himself walking towards the edge of the stage again. Changbin, used to his antics now, grabs the back of his shirt to stop him. Meanwhile, you and Hyunjin touch palms, and Hyunjin leans in, eyes closed, mouth pursed. His other hand cups your face, blocking the audience’s view. Jisung can’t see from where he’s standing, but based off of the collective “Ooh!” in the comms, there’s a kiss happening.

“What happened?” he frantically asks. “Did they actually kiss?”

“I think they did it,” says Jeongin. “It’s kind of hard to tell from back here. Hey, Mr. Gi, did they do it?”

“I don’t know,” is his short reply.

The rest of the conversation fades into white noise, and Jisung feels his heart splitting into two. It’s a just possibility, but one nonetheless. He’s hyperventilating now, and he heavily presses a hand to his chest in a weak attempt to stop his lungs from heaving. It only makes him even more aware of his devastation. The second kiss of the scene is almost a repeat of the first, but he can’t look away from the trainwreck that is his love life.

There’s no redos, and Act II begins. You’re waiting for scene two, and no one’s nearby you except for Yugyeom, who always looks like he wants to die of embarrassment whenever he’s around you because of the changing incident. Jisung quickly walks up to you and taps you on the shoulder. You turn around.

“Hey. You were really good out there,” he tightly says. “Especially the party scene.”

You have the same look on your face as Yugyeom. “A-ah, thanks. It was my first time doing something like that.” You look like you’re ready to bolt.

This is his chance to find out the truth, so he follows up with, “I heard first stage kisses are difficult.”

You can’t confirm or deny it because scene one ends, and you have to get up onto the balcony set piece. With clear relief in your voice, you whisper, “Sorry, gotta go,” before running out, taking the stairs two at a time.

Jisung swears under his breath and bites his thumb at Hyunjin, who is comparing you to the sun again. To his annoyance, Hyunjin has improved and no longer sounds like he’s reading off of notecards. You seem to be enjoying his monologue, and he sees you trying to hold back a grin. Your pleased, rosy glow softens your normal high noon sunshine to a golden sunset, and even Ms. Park seems satisfied by the acting. She has only praise for the balcony scene, and you and Hyunjin beam with pride.

While you disappear to change — Jisung’s so glad that scenes three and four are long enough that you can change in the dressing room — he devises a plan to eat dinner with you and potentially give you the chips he wanted to give on Friday. The only flaw of the plan is that you have to finish changing before Hyunjin, so he can spend time with you before Hyunjin inevitably comes in and ruins everything.

When dinner break is announced, he jumps out of his seat and walks as casually as possible to the classroom. The microwave line is beginning to form, and Jisung brushes past them. There’s no unclaimed seat at your table, so he sits nearby. He discreetly moves his belongings to his new location and pulls out his dinner. He purposely brought ramen, so he could have an excuse to start a conversation with you. If he has to eat it for the rest of the week, then so be it.

He watches the door as he slowly prepares his meal. Where are you? He can only hope Hyunjin doesn’t show up first. Luckily, you walk in a few minutes later with no Hyunjin behind you. You sit down and push the textbooks to the side. You pull out a container from your lunch bag.

He twists his body, so he can face you better. “Fried rice again?” he teases.

“I decided to borrow your idea. Instant jajangmyeon.” You unsnap the lid and proudly reveal the unmistakable black package. You rip it open and let the noodle brick slide into the container. “I told Hyunjin about it, and he thought it was genius.”

“Oh!” It comes out more high pitched and strained than he anticipated.

“Yeah.” You pour hot water from your own thermos and let it cook. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. I wouldn’t have had to eat fried rice for five days straight. And this tastes way better, too.”

“Was this your after rehearsal food on Friday?” he asks, though he knows the real answer.

“You remembered that? No, I had froyo with Hyunjin. Ms. Park said we should hang out outside of rehearsal, so we could be more comfortable with each other.” You bite your lower lip. “For the, you know” — your voice drops to a hush — “kiss scenes.”

He feels more relieved now, knowing that Friday night was more like a homework assignment than a date.

“Did you really kiss him today?”

You shift in your seat, uncomfortable by his question. He feels a pang of guilt, but he really, really needs to know.

“It was a stage kiss.”

Is that disappointment in your voice?

Whatever your feelings are, he’s just happy that nothing happened between you and Hyunjin. He reaches into his backpack and takes out a crushed, but unopened, bag of chips. He holds it out to you, and your uneasiness from earlier is replaced by amusement.

“You still have that?”

“I left before Jeongin could find me. Do you want it?”

“Well…”

“Take it.” He tosses the bag at you, and it lands on top of your container. “You’re not gonna be able to eat anything until your noodles finish cooking. We can’t have Juliet starving.”

“Okay then.” You hesitantly open the bag and place one in your mouth. As expected, it’s a fragment. “Thanks.”

Hyunjin doesn’t show up for dinner, and Jisung gladly spends the rest of the time with you. He eats from his own bag of chips and politely asks to try one of yours in exchange for one of his own. You let him try your first attempt of making instant jajangmyeon using the Jisung method, and he approves. The two of you discuss the best snacks at the convenience store, and he’s delighted to find out that you like strawberry Pepero too. When rehearsal resumes, Jisung feels like he’s walking on sunshine.

The rest of rehearsal goes by in a blur. When you had your quick change on stage, he faces the wall again and listens to the conversation you have with Ryujin. He doesn’t even care that you and Hyunjin share scenes with each other and seem to be flirting with each other. You have more in common outside of theater with him than Hyunjin. Without a care in the world, he openly throws up the middle finger at Hyunjin when Ms. Park calls for a rerun of the balcony scene. Yugyeom looks confused at his actions but says nothing. Changbin, however, does.

“Jisung, what are you doing?” he asks. “Do you hate Juliet or something?”

He’s a little offended that Changbin came to that conclusion. He doesn’t tell him the truth though. “The balcony. I just remembered trying to build those stairs. Screw those stairs.”

It’s not a full lie; he does hate the balcony with a passion because building those stupid stairs was an absolute pain.

Changbin laughs. “Ah, good times. You looked like you wanted to kill Seungmin when he used your wood.”

“Still do.”

Tech notes are an even distribution among sound, lights, and stage crew. Jisung doesn’t receive any specific criticisms, but Mr. Gi does send the floor crew to respike the floor to meet Ms. Park’s new demands about set piece placement. Tech crew is dismissed for the night, and Jisung goes to get the spiking tape from the classroom while Changbin and the freshman crew member wait on stage.

The actors are still getting notes, so he quietly opens the cabinets where the tape is located. He rummages around for longer than needed while trying to find out if you are watching him. He decides to bring out all five rolls of fluorescent tape with him, wearing them on his wrist like a stack of bracelets. He hears a chuckle, and when he turns around, he realizes it’s coming from Hyunjin, who has a hand over his mouth. Jisung leaves the room and mouths a curse at him.

He finishes spiking the new locations, and by that time, Ms. Park is done with notes. It’s a familiar scene — you sitting on top of a table, sipping water. Only this time, you have a bag of chips in your other hand.

“Aren’t you glad I made you take them?” he teases as he puts the tape away.

“Yes,” you admit. “Do you want any?” You hold out the bag, and he can see that it’s mostly crumbs and dust.

“I’m good.” He shoulders his backpack and picks up his hoodie from where it has fallen to the floor. “Are you waiting to be picked up?”

“Yeah.” You crumple up the now-empty bag. “See you tomorrow?”

He realizes his mistake: he looks like he’s leaving when he just wanted a reason to be next to you. “Yeah. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Instead of driving home right away, he goes to the convenience store for strawberry Pepero to give to you tomorrow. They do say that the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach.

~ ad.gray

Prepare to be baited. Apologies in advance.

45 notes · View notes

allisonxmoynihan · 4 years

Text

always be my baby ~ p. moynihan

Note: This is Part Two of the fic! If you haven’t read part one yet, or need a refresher, you can do so here! Thank you so much for the endless support and I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 3,491

Life had returned to normal: you were back at school surrounded by your friends, exploring in your downtime, spending time with Olivia and Kelsie, and you and Pat were friends again. It wasn’t easy to forgive him, but a couple months after your dad’s birthday surprise you decided it was time, and the right decision, to at least let him back in as a friend.

It was the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week, and you had just finished your last class before Fall Break. You found yourself sprawled out on your boyfriend’s bed as he sat on a beanbag next to you playing video games with a few of his friends.

“Hey, babe, what time are you heading home?” Sam asks you, turning his head to look over at you.

You shrug your shoulders looking up from your phone, “I don’t know, some time tomorrow morning probably? Are you heading home at all?”

Sam turns off the game console before coming over and plopping down next to you, “Nah, I’m staying here for the break, my mom’s meeting me in Boston on Friday morning for brunch”

You adjust your head so that you can listen to the steady beat of his heart and you smile, content that today was a good day for the two of you, as his arms wrap around your waist, one hand going and twisting strands of your hair gently in his hands. It wasn’t that you and Sam had an unhealthy relationship, because for the most part everything was perfect, but sometimes the two of you would bicker nonstop to the point of you having a meltdown in Olivia’s dorm and him ignoring you for days afterward.

“You’re going to eat crappy dining hall food alone on Thanksgiving?”

He sighs, “yeah, but it’ll be okay princess, they’re supposed to have mac n’ cheese that day too”

You lift your head up excitedly, “Why don’t you come home with me tomorrow? My parents are dying to meet you anyway, and besides no one should have to be alone on a holiday!”

He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, “anything for you, but you have to come to brunch with my mom then.”

~*~

Thanksgiving Day at your house was always hectic. Somehow your parents always got stuck with hosting, and your mom would be stuck in the kitchen all day as your dad and brothers played sports in the backyard as your grandparents sat at the kitchen table keeping your mom company. As soon as you got your driver’s license you got put on emergency grocery runs.

“y/n, I don’t have the stuff for the pumpkin pie or the sweet potatoes,” your mom says as she scrambles about the kitchen, checking the turkey. “Oh, and I need stuff for brownies and stuffing!”

You stand up from the kitchen table and grab your car keys, “anything else?”

Your mom shakes her head fervently, “hurry,”

On the car ride to Shaw’s your favorite song came on the radio so you turn the volume up and start belting out the lyrics, a wide grin plastered to your face as you slow for a red light.

Sam immediately goes to turn the volume back to an inaudible volume, “babe, really?” he asks, looking at you as if you were crazy.

You feel your face lose color as you continue to stare ahead, a little hurt that your boyfriend of the last five months would do something like this when he clearly knew it was your favorite song. You fight off the thoughts that Sam held you back from being completely happy, that Patty would never do something like this. You silently curse at yourself for constantly comparing Sam to Pat, as you turn into a parking space, but it was no secret that Patty would never treat you the way Sam did.

In the five months of dating Sam, he was always quick to call you out on your weaknesses and shortcomings, using your poor grades on a test to boast about his 100%, and even getting annoyed when your goofy and childish nature was highlighted. But time and time again you decided that the good outweighed the bad in the relationship.

Completely disregarding your sudden and distant behavior Sam slips out of the car and strolls towards the door. You take a deep breath, grabbing a shopping cart and hurrying after him. You finally catch up with Sam who is waiting for you in the produce section. “What did your mom need again?”

You force a smile onto your face, hoping you’ll sound somewhat positive, “sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie stuff, and stuffing,” you say, starting to pick up various sweet potatoes and put them in a bag.

“Here, let me get it,” Sam says, taking the bag from your hands and grabbing more sweet potatoes. You glance up, seeing Patty across the produce section and a big, genuine smile erupts on your face as you wave to him. Pat smiles back before going back to investigating which head of lettuce was the best. Sam clears his throat, directing your attention back to him.

“Why don’t you go get a box of stuffing mix and then meet me back here? Stuffing should be aisle three.”

You nod, walking off as Sam continues to fill a produce bag with sweet potatoes. Feeling a presence next to him Sam glances at the brunette boy next to him who is preoccupied with picking up various sweet potatoes, inspecting them, and putting them back in the crate, all while glaring at Sam.

“Who the hell are you? The boy finally asks.

“Sam Loughlin, what’s it to you?”

“That’s a pretty douchey name,” the boy mutters under his breath as he finally selects a sweet potato and adds it to his cart.

“Excuse me?”

“How do you know y/n?” the boy asks, continuing his inspection process of sweet potatoes just like he’s probably seen his mom do a million times over.

“I’m her boyfriend, who are you anyway?”

The boy turns and glares at Sam, his eyes blank of emotion, “Patrick Moynihan, the love of her life.”

As if on cue you return at that moment with a couple of boxes of stuffing in your hands. Patty looks down at you, “Hey y/n! Tell Nate and Luke I say hi, and of course to your mom and dad.”

You smile, tossing the stuffing into your shopping cart, “yeah, same to you Pat, Happy Thanksgiving!”

Sam stands beside you possessively, snaking an arm tightly around your waist, and you go to look at him and see him seething with anger and you go to ask him what’s wrong but nevertheless he waves you off.

“Pie crust and pumpkin filling is all that’s left on the list. Let’s go,”

~*~

By the time you got home and dinner was ready you were exhausted and couldn’t wait for the day to be over so you could call Olivia and discuss your Black Friday shopping plans that occurred every year. And Thanksgiving dinner couldn’t have been any worse.

“Mommy, I wish Patty was here,” Nate whines, pushing his green beans to the side of his plate.

“Eat your green beans or no dessert, sweetie pie,”

“Daddy, do you think Patty will come over later tonight like he used to and have dessert with us and play football with us?” Luke chips in.

Your dad looks over at you, sorrow filling his eyes, “Uhh, no honey, I think Pat has his own family plans this year,”

Your mom, sighs, “well his jokes would be much appreciated right now after a long day of cooking,” she laughs as she places a spoonful of green beans onto Luke’s plate who groans at the sight.

“He wasn’t here to help with the turkey either!” your dad exclaims.

You glance up at Sam, hoping he’s not upset or angry, but to your dismay annoyance and disgust are written all over his face. And you know you’re going to hear about it after dinner.

Your grandma cuts up her piece of turkey, “y/n, what happened to that sweet boy we all liked? He was kind of tall. Goofy. Very goofy. But he had sweet eyes,”

“Marilyn, his name is Patirck,” your grandpa explains, placing his hand on your grandma’s shoulder who turns to look at him.

“Oh hush up and eat your stuffing, Charles”

You laugh, shaking your head at your grandparents, envious of their deep affection towards each other.

Sam exhales loudly and you look up at him. He lifts his chin to the right towards the kitchen and dismisses himself from the table walking into the other room. Your mom looks at you worriedly, “I’ll be right back” you whisper, following Sam into the kitchen.

You walk in to see Sam standing tall, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. You immediately feel sheepish, like a small child that disobeyed their mother.

“I can’t fucking take anymore of this bullshit tonight” Sam says in a hushed tone,

“Take what? What’s going on?”

“That asshole from the store, your family raving about how great he is even though may I remind you he cheated on you. I didn’t really want to come here in the first place, especially if it meant you falling for your fucking ex all over again,”

You sigh loudly, “whatever, if you don’t want to be here then go, I don’t have to put up with your attitude either.”

Sam rolls his eyes, a scowl taking over his face, “I’ll send you the address for brunch, and don’t embarrass me.” He says before walking to the front of your house and slipping into the shadows of the night.

Later that night you called Olivia to discuss your shopping plans but also to vent to her about the events that went down that night.

“I’m just so sick of Sam getting mad whenever a guy says hi to me or something, like he’s in a frat for crying out loud, he has girls on him all the time”

“Yeah, I don’t know y/n, it’s just weird”

“And he’s annoyed that my family was upset that Patty wasn’t there, like I’m sorry they grew attached to him in the thirteen years of knowing him”

Olivia sighs heavily, finally selecting on the blush pink nail polish instead of the cherry red one.

“What?”

“I don’t want to be mean, but y/n you’re my best friend and I just want you to be happy. But if you want my honest opinion, I’ve never seen you more unhappy than you are with Sam and that’s including when Pat broke up with you”

After finalizing your plans with Olivia for Saturday you find yourself painting your toenails and watching dance moms when you get a facetime call from Patty.

“Hey, Pat!” you smile, starting a second coat on your toes.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

“Watching dance moms and painting my nails, and I guess talking to you now,”

Pat smiles, “Remember when I let you paint my nails and you wouldn’t let me take it off”

“And all the guys chirped you for being ‘so whipped’”

Patty grins, “yeah, that was a good memory”

There’s a comfortable silence that falls over you before Pat starts telling you about his grandparents and how they’re doing, and also asking about yours.

“Well I’m glad they’re doing well y/n, that’s great news,”

You nod slowly, pouring over your conversation with Olivia about Sam. You zone out contemplating what you should do. She did have a point, you were extremely unhappy and have been for awhile, but at the same time you saw how good Sam could be, and that potential was enough to keep you there.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Patty asks, concern filling his voice.

“Oh, it’s nothing,”

“What did that asshol you were with earlier do something? I’ll fight him.”

You laugh to try and fight the tears that were stinging your eyes, but they inevitably start rolling down your cheeks, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not enough for anyone? Sam. You. Literally everyone,” you croak out, rubbing furiously at your tears.

Patty’s face softens, “c’mon don’t say that, y/n, you’ve always been enough,”

“Then why’d you leave me? Why’d you cheat?”

Patty sighs, rubbing his hand across his face, “I don’t have a good explanation. I was lonely and drunk and I missed you and didn’t know what to do about it, but that’s all besides the point. y/n you’ve always been good enough, okay? You’re too good for the majority of guys in the world, including me.”

You sit there, rubbing the seemingly never ending tears that were pouring down your face.

“Hey, c’mon, just like Abby says, ‘save those tears for the pillow!’”

You smile slightly, “Hey, there’s that smile!” Pat gushes.

You roll your eyes, “you’re such a dork,” you say as you wipe more tears away.

Pat continues to try and cheer you up by telling you knock-knock jokes, because they’re your favorite, recalling funny moments from the past, and filling you in on all the embarrassing moments from his time at school.

Suddenly Pat sits up in his bed, “you should just leave him,”

“What?”

“Leave Sam. He doesn’t treat you right, and I know I’m one to talk, but y/n c’mon, the guy treats you like an object,”

You lean over to turn your light off and slip in under your bed covers, getting comfy in bed. “I can’t leave him, Pat. He’s a good guy, trust me. You just don’t know him,”

Patty sighs and quickly changes the subject to the most random of things, his voice low and soft as you drift into slumber. Patty sits and watches you sleep for a bit, remembering the times you were falling asleep next to him, and before he hangs up he whispers ever so quietly, “I never stopped loving you,”

~*~

The next morning you were supposed to meet up with Sam for brunch with his mom, but you weren’t really feeling it that day. You strolled down the streets of Boston wearing your oversized sweatpants, Patty’s Nobles hockey sweatshirt that you had never given back, and a pair of birkenstock sandals.

“The hell are you wearing, y/n come on, this is a nice restaurant and my mom is coming, remember?”

You roll your eyes as he looks at you disgustedly, “Yeah, about that, I’m not staying”

“Jesus, why do you always have to go and make a fool of me wherever we go”

“See that’s the thing, you turn everything on how it affects you, and sorry to break it to you but not everything is about you.”

“What the hell are you going on about now?”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m tired of always stressing about how I look and how my actions are going to impact you. I’m not even living for me anymore, I’ve become your puppet and you still can’t stand being around me”

He rolls his eyes, “Well if you’re leaving, go. I don’t really need you around”

~*~

That night your parents are out with your brothers at a hockey game, so you find yourself home alone in desperate need for a distraction. You find yourself baking brownies when you hear a knock at the door. You frown, dropping the measuring cup into the flour jar, and going to check who’s at the door.

“Oh, hey,” you say, stepping to the side to let Patty in who gladly walks right into the kitchen and taking a seat at the kitchen island. You follow him so you can resume your cooking, breaking the silence Patty says, “you still stress bake?”

You nod, whisking the eggs into the batter.

Patty is slow to nod, “Liv told me you might be upset and I wanted to come and check on you.” you look at him with a blank face and he stammers, “y’know because we’re friends. And that’s what friends do”

“I’m fine.”

Patty props his elbows up so he can rest his chin in the palm of his hand and watches you pour the batter into the pan. He takes you all in, the way your hair is falling out of its bun, how you have flour all over the front of your shirt, and how you gently scrape at the sides of the bowl to get the excess batter out. Deciding you have enough batter in the pan you start licking the extra batter out of the bowl and sucking your fingers that have batter stuck to them as well.

“What?” you ask looking up and noticing Patty’s stare.

“Nothing,”

“Is there batter on my face?” you ask as you smudge your hands across your face, wiping at the batter that was never there in the first place.

Patty laughs watching you, “no, you’re good,”

“Then why are you staring at me”

Patty’s face momentarily goes red before he shrugs it off, “I’ll help you with the dishes,” he stands up and takes the bowl from your hands and starts washing all the utensils you used.

Taking a seat at the island, you watch Patty wash the dishes and think about all the times he’s done this same exact thing before.

“Hey Patty?”

“What’s up”

“This is going to sound really silly,” you look down at your feet fumbling with the hem of your shirt, “but, um,”

Patty shifts his weight to one side and leans against the counter, “I’m sure it’s not silly”

“That’s because you haven’t heard it yet,”

“y/n what’s wrong?”

“Patty, I really miss you, and I’ve dated so many guys trying to forget what it felt like to have you by my side, but none of them are you”

His face softens, “I really miss you too,”

You laugh slightly shaking your head, “Everything in me is saying to give you a second chance like you asked five months ago, but I’m scared”

“y/n, please just give me a chance, I know I can be the guy you deserve to be with.”

You're silent and go to put the brownies in the oven before turning to grab some water.

“Kelsie says that you did it once before so you’re just bound to do it all over again, so how do i know you’re for real this time”

Patty sighs, grabbing a towel from your pantry and starting to dry the dishes in the sink.

“I know you’re just trying to avoid my question,”

Patty sighs, putting the towel down and turning to look at you, “you really want the honest story?”

You nod, going back and sitting at the island.

Patty takes a deep and shaking breath before he starts, “Because ever since we were six years old and I saw you yell at Timmy Moore for pushing Olivia off of the swing, since we were eleven and I forced Ciara to become friends with you so I could go to your birthday party with her, since we were thirteen and we started becoming really good friends. y/n it’s always been you; it was you on the playground on September 6, 2007, it was you when Ashley Turner had a big crush on me and everyone told me to ask her out, it was you at the eighth grade dance, it was you when I left Millis High and went to Nobles, and it was you the whole time in Michigan, and fuck, it was you at Providence too. It’s never been about anyone else but you.”

You sit there, dumbfounded, at a loss for words, staring straight back at him. He only shakes his head and goes back to drying the dishes before saying, “I can leave if you want,”

“Please don’t go again,”

Patty looks at you, walking slowly over to where you were seated, “y/n, i never stopped loving you”

A lump gets lodged in your throat as you look back up at him, “me too, patty,”

He cups your face in his hands, “please, give me a second chance, I won’t let you down,”

Your heart practically melts at his touch, at his words, and you can’t help but stare at his lips, “if you mess up moynihan I’m having my dad come and beat you up”

Patty laughs, pressing his lips to yours for the first time in a year, “if i ever hurt you i will come over just so he can beat my ass,” he mumbles against your lips, pressing them to yours one more time as the oven timer separates you two.

“Looks like i should be staying for dessert too,” Patty smiles watching you go over and take the brownies out of the oven,

“You’re such an idiot,” you laugh,

“Yeah, an idiot that you love y/n. An idiot that you love,”

#patrick moynihan #trevor zegras #jack hughes #ntdp #ntdp imagine #ntdp boys #hockey #providence college hockey #i never know what to tag things

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