#that safety and vulnerability and complete trust
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dontrllycaretbh · 1 day ago
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Title: Dripping offense
Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd
Warnings: explicit sapphic content (18+), spit kink, first-time touch, mutual masturbation, dom!Azzi / sub!Paige dynamics, fingering, soft praise, erotic vulnerability, flushed confessions, breathy tension, years of longing, slow unraveling of innocence, first orgasm, squirt mention, unspoken love, emotional safety in a physical moment
Word count: 4,111 words
Summary:
In a quiet hotel room after the game, Paige admits she’s never kissed anyone—never even touched herself. Azzi doesn’t laugh. She listens. She guides. And in the soft hush between them, curiosity turns into trust, and trust into something wetter, deeper, harder to name.
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The hotel room was dimly lit by the soft glow of a bedside lamp. The muffled sounds of teammates down the hall—laughing, arguing over snacks, bumping music���were just white noise now. Paige was sitting cross-legged on the bed, still in her Uconn warm-ups, her hair tied up in a messy bun. Azzi was lying on her side across the other bed, propped up on one elbow, scrolling half-heartedly through her phone.
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The game had ended hours ago, but their adrenaline hadn’t quite faded yet.
“You ever think about… like, what your life would be like if you weren’t an athlete?” Paige asked, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
Azzi looked up from her phone. “Yeah. All the time actually.”
Paige laughed. “You’d be like a really intense librarian or something.”
Azzi raised a brow. “You think I give off librarian vibes?”
“You give off…organized chaos. Like you’d run a super strict library but still sneak your friends in after hours.”
“That’s fair.”
The conversation drifted for a bit. They talked about music, what classes they hated the most, and how the hotel had the weirdest vending machine options. Then it got quiet again. A different kind of quiet.
Paige sat up, hugging a pillow to her chest. She looked hesitant, like she was weighing something in her mind.
Azzi noticed. “What?”
Paige bit her lip. “…Can I tell you something? Kinda personal?”
Azzi rolled over to face her completely. “Of course.”
Paige looked visibly embarrassed, and was blushing a little bit. Her face turned red, and she looked like she really didn’t want to admit what was coming next. “…Um…n-neither…neither a girl nor a boy…I’ve never kissed anyone.”
Azzi blinked, then smiled gently. “Oh.”
“I mean—not like I didn’t want to. I just…never really found the right time. Or the right person,” Paige said quickly, her words rushing. “And I guess I’ve always been kinda awkward and shy. It’s not like I
“It’s not like I haven’t thought about it,” Paige continued, her voice quiet, eyes darting down to her hands. “I’ve just… I don’t know. I’ve always felt like I had to focus on basketball, or school, or whatever else was right in front of me. And whenever it came to, like… relationships, or stuff like that—I just froze.”
Azzi nodded, sitting up slightly on her bed, giving Paige her full attention. There was no teasing in her expression, just quiet understanding.
Paige exhaled shakily, clearly relieved to have finally said it aloud. “And yeah, if I’ve never kissed anyone… I guess that means I haven’t… you know.”
Azzi tilted her head, just watching Paige softly.
“…Had sex,” Paige clarified, flustered. Her face turned even redder. “Not with a guy. Not with a girl. Not with anyone.”
There was a long pause before Azzi finally broke it with a warm, careful voice. “Paige, that’s not weird.”
“It feels weird,” Paige said quickly. “I mean, who goes to college, commits to Uconn, and still hasn’t even had their first kiss? Everyone always talks like they’ve done everything already and I’m just sitting here pretending to know what they’re talking about.”
“You’re not behind. You’re just… on your own timeline.” Azzi smiled softly, leaning forward. “There’s no checklist. No deadline.”
Paige looked at her, visibly trying not to tear up—not from sadness, but from the safety she felt in Azzi’s calm, grounding voice. “It’s just lately… I’ve been feeling kind of lonely. Like, not just physically—emotionally too. I’ve started noticing things. Thinking about things more. Like… wondering what it’d be like.”
Azzi stayed silent, letting her speak.
“I’ve seen stuff on TV or in movies—people kissing, being close, touching each other—and I never used to care. But now, I don’t know… I’ll see something and think, ‘That looks nice. I wonder what that feels like.’” She swallowed. “I’ve just never wanted to try it. Not with anyone. Until now.”
There was a beat.
Azzi’s eyes met hers. “Until now?”
Paige’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Yeah…with you.”
The silence hung heavy now, not uncomfortable—but charged with something delicate. Paige looked like she wanted to crawl under a pillow and disappear, but also like she’d just jumped off a cliff and was waiting to land.
Azzi didn’t look away. Her voice was gentle, but direct. “You excite me in ways I didn’t expect, too,” she admitted. “And I don’t want you to feel ashamed about anything you haven’t done. You’re not missing anything. You’re just starting to explore what you want.”
Paige gave a nervous smile, eyes still a little glassy. “There’s…one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never even…” Paige trailed off, her face going scarlet now. “I’ve never touched myself.”
Azzi blinked, surprised—not in judgment, but in the raw honesty of the moment. “Like, ever?”
Paige shook her head, quickly. “Nope. I don’t know. It just never felt like something I needed to do. Or maybe I was scared I wouldn’t know how. Or feel weird afterward. I don’t know.”
Azzi hesitated, then sat up straighter, choosing her words carefully. “Can I…maybe guide you? Not touch you—just talk you through it. If you want. Only if you want.”
Paige looked stunned by the offer, but also like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She nodded shyly, holding her breath. “I think I do. I trust you.”
Azzi smiled softly, her voice steady but warm. “Okay. First thing… lie back. Just breathe for a second. This isn’t about performing. It’s just you getting to know your body. Don’t rush anything.”
Paige followed her voice, nervously lying back against the pillows. Her breathing was a little shaky, but she was listening.
“You don’t even have to go anywhere near…there, right now. Just start by touching your stomach. Let your hands explore. Think of it like learning how to be comfortable in your own skin.”
Azzi kept her voice low and soothing, making sure Paige was calm, checking in with her eyes, her body language. There was no pressure. Just guidance. Comfort. Trust.
“You move at your own pace. You stop whenever you want. There’s no right way to do this.”
Paige exhaled slowly, closing her eyes, one hand resting lightly on her own stomach now. Her face still burned red, but there was something new there too—peace. Curiosity. Safety.
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Just breathe, Paige," Azzi said, her voice a smooth melody in the quiet. "Let your hand wander a little further down."
Paige's hand shakily traced the path from her navel to the waistband of her shorts, her skin tingling with anticipation. Her eyes remained shut, her mind racing with thoughts of the unknown. This was the closest she'd ever come to this kind of intimacy, and it was with someone she never thought would be the one to guide her through it.
"Take your time," Azzi coaxed, her voice a warm embrace. "There's no rush."
Her hand slipped beneath the fabric, and Paige's breath hitched. The soft hairs of her core met her fingertips, and she paused for a moment, unsure. The sensation was weird but somehow familiar.
"It's okay," Azzi whispered. "You can go slower."
Encouraged, Paige's hand slid further down, her fingertips grazing the slick folds of her core. She gasped, the sensation electric. It was as if she'd just found the key to unlocking a secret garden.
"Now, I want you to be really honest with me," Azzi instructed. "Does it feel good?"
"yeah…fuck" Paige murmured, the word slipping out before she could think to hold it back. "It feels... really good."
"Good," Azzi said with a smile in her voice. "Now, I want you to get a little wetter."
"How?"
"Use your saliva," Azzi suggested. "Spit into your palm and rub it over your hand."
The idea of it was strange, but Paige was eager to please. She opened her eyes to see Azzi watching her with a gentle curiosity, and the sight of her friend's encouragement bolstered her courage. She did as she was told, the wet sound of her spit hitting her palm echoing in the stillness.
"Now," Azzi continued, "Spread it over your fingers. It'll make it easier."
With trembling hands, Paige did as she was instructed, her eyes never leaving Azzi's. The wetness was a new sensation, and she felt a thrill run through her as she touched herself more intimately.
"That's it," Azzi praised, her voice a purr of approval. "Now, let's see how it feels."
The tension grew with every second, every breath. Paige's body was a canvas of sensations, and she was painting a picture she'd never seen before. She was about to explore the deepest part of herself, and she had no idea wh
Her hand hovered over her core, the wetness of her saliva making her skin slick and slippery. With a deep breath, she touched herself for the first time.
"How does that feel?" Azzi asked, her voice low and soothing.
"Wet," Paige murmured, her eyes still closed. "Sensitive."
"Good," Azzi said, a smile in her voice. "Keep breathing. Keep going."
And so, Paige did, her fingertips exploring her folds, finding the spot that made her gasp and bite her lip. The room spun around her as she grew bolder, her movements becoming more deliberate, more sure.
"Your breathing is changing," Azzi noted. "That's good. It means you're getting closer."
The air grew thick with anticipation as Paige's breath quickened, her chest rising and falling in shallow bursts. Her hand grew more insistent, her thumb circling that magical spot that sent jolts of pleasure through her body.
"Do you want to go further?" Azzi asked, her voice a gentle whisper. "Or would you like me to show you?"
The question hung in the air, a silent invitation to see azzi in a way she’s never seen her before. But she knew she was ready. With a nod, she whispered, "I want you to show me."
Without breaking eye contact, Azzi stood up, the graceful movement of her body leaving Paige captivated. She reached down and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her own shorts, slowly sliding them down her toned legs. The fabric whispered against her skin as it fell to the floor, leaving her in nothing.
"Look at me," Azzi said, her voice a gentle command. "This is how it's done."
The sounds of wetness filled the room, a rhythmic symphony that grew more intense with every second. Azzi's legs were spread wide, giving Paige a clear view of the slickness that coated her folds, the way her fingers slid in and out with ease. It was mesmerizing, like watching a dance she'd never seen before.
"It's okay to be wet," Azzi said, her voice a little louder now, a little more urgent. "It's natural."
With that, Paige felt a strange thrill as she leaned over and spit into her palm again, the sound of it wetting her hand echoing in the quiet. She mirrored Azzi's actions, sliding her own hand into her shorts, feeling the heat and the wetness of her own desire.
They stayed like that, a silent tableau of exploration and curiosity, their eyes locked as they touched themselves in unison. The sound of their breathing grew louder, a symphony of want and need that filled the space between them.
"Look closer," Azzi whispered, her breathing ragged. "See how wet I am for you."
Paige leaned in, her heart racing. She could see the swollen flesh of Azzi's clit
"Does it feel good when I do this?" Azzi asked, her thumb brushing over her clit in a way that made her gasp.
"It does," Paige said, her voice a little shaky. "It feels... amazing."
"Then do it," Azzi told her. "Do it to yourself."
Their eyes never left each other's as Paige followed suit, her thumb finding that magical spot that seemed to hold all the answers she'd ever been looking for. The feeling was indescribable, and she couldn't help but let out a soft moan.
"Look how beautiful you are," Azzi said, her voice thick with arousal. "You're doing so well."
Encouraged by Azzi's words, Paige's eyes fluttered open, meeting her friend's gaze. The air was thick with a tension that was both uncomfortable and exhilarating. She could see the desire in Azzi's eyes, the way they searched hers for permission to take this further. And in that moment, she realized she didn't just want this to be about her anymore.
"Can I...can I do that for you?" she asked tentatively, her voice barely above a whisper.
Azzi nodded, a slow smile spreading across her face. She leaned in, and Paige felt the warmth of her breath on her cheek. But instead of closing the distance, Azzi held back. "You can spit in my mouth," she suggested. "It's something I like."
Surprise flickered in Paige's eyes, but she felt a strange excitement at the idea. It was so intimate, so raw, and yet it didn't feel wrong. She leaned in, her own breath shallow and rapid. The first spurt of saliva was awkward, the sensation of her spit landing in Azzi's open mouth foreign and thrilling.
Their eyes remained locked as they shared this silent, erotic moment. It was a dance of trust and desire, a bond forming between them that went beyond friendship. The saliva mingled between their lips, but they didn't kiss—not yet.
"Now, I want you to do it to yourself," Azzi said, her voice a low purr.
Paige nodded, the act of spitting in Azzi's mouth somehow empowering. She leaned back against the pillows, her hand still buried in her shorts. She watched as Azzi mirrored her actions, her thumb moving in slow circles around her own clit, the wet sounds of their shared pleasure filling the room.
With a deep breath, Paige spit into her own palm, feeling a rush of heat to her cheeks at the sheer intimacy of it all. The saliva was a bridge between them, a shared experience that was both erotic and innocent. She brought her hand back to her core, the wetness making her movements smoother, more deliberate.
As they touched themselves in sync, the air grew thick with the scent of arousal. The sound of their breathing grew louder, their bodies moving in a silent rhythm.
The moment was a crescendo of sensation, each stroke of Paige's thumb against her clit a note in a symphony of pleasure. The wetness grew, their shared breaths turning ragged as they both approached the edge of something new.
"Keep going, Paige," Azzi urged, her voice tight with restraint. "You're almost there."
The encouragement spurred Paige on, her eyes still on Azzi's as she felt the tension coil within her. Her hand was a blur of motion now, her thumb pressing harder, faster. And then it hit—a wave so powerful, so unexpected, that she couldn't hold back a cry.
Her body convulsed, muscles tightening as she squirted, the wetness soaking her hand, the sheets beneath her. She'd heard about it, read about it, but to actually experience it was like nothing she could have ever imagined.
"Oh my God," she breathed, her eyes wide with wonder. "I just... I just did it fuck.”
The sight of Paige's pleasure was intoxicating, and Azzi could feel her own climax building. The sound of the wetness was like a siren's call, urging her own hand to move faster, more urgently.
"Keep watching me, Paige," she whispered, her voice strained with desire. "I want you to see how good it feels."
Her eyes remained locked on Paige's face as she leaned over, her fingers sliding out of her core. She reached for the wet spot on the bed where Paige's juices had soaked through, and without breaking eye contact, she brought the fabric to her lips.
The salty taste of the water mingled with the faint sweetness of the sheets, and she sucked the liquid into her mouth, the sound echoing in the quiet room. Paige's eyes widened, and Azzi knew she had her full attention.
"holy fuck azzi, that was the hottest thing ever” Paige murmured, her voice thick with awe.
The intimacy of the moment was overwhelming, the act of sharing their pleasure in such a raw, primal way bridging the gap between them. Azzi felt a sense of belonging she hadn't known was missing.
"Do you like that?" Azzi asked, her eyes dark with lust.
"I do," Paige said, her voice shaky. "It's... it's really hot."
with Paige's response, Azzi leaned in closer, her tongue snaking out to lick at the damp fabric. The taste was faint, but it was enough to send another jolt through her.
"Keep watching," she whispered, her hand moving back to her own core, the need to want to put her own fingers there. "Keep watching”
Their eyes remained locked as they pleasured themselves, the room filled with the sounds of their shared passion. Paige watched as Azzi's fingers moved in and out of her core , her own hand mimicking the motion.
As the tension grew, so did the wetness, and Azzi felt the need to be closer—to share in this moment fully. She slid onto the bed, her own legs spreading to give Paige a better view. “you ready?”
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faggotbeloved · 16 hours ago
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Hi!! May I request for a small flashback from S.T.A.R.S. days (according to your 3SA story)? Reader being an absolute sweetheart to Wesker and taking care of him even before their official relationship, making him start to develop his obsession with reader perhaps? I don’t know, I’m dying for some cute little background flashbacks of them two and how sweet and naive reader might have been back then😭😭
Anon,,, I am So. So Sorry. I intended to follow this correctly, but it turned into angst... there's some cute reader scenes in it though trust (the first 3)
Three Steps Ahead | Yandere!Albert Wesker x GN!Reader
5: Hindsight Glasses (20/20) (~3.5k words)
Cw: religious imagery, christianic metaphors, child abuse (wesker children), flashbacks, annoying ass extended metaphors, accidental domestic abuse, mental breakdown, hallucinations (of a sort), body horror, glass shards in palms, blood, stitches, angst, albert is Going Through It
└───────────────────────┘
Albert sat alone in his study, nursing a glass of fine whiskey and flipping through an old book. He’d been doing that more often now. Being around you was a double edged sword: he loved you more than life itself—everything he did was for you since the moment you first met—but now it was tainted. By his own hand.
Albert recalled what you’d said just last week. ‘Is it bad to be happy if you're happy with a bad person?’
No, he wanted to scream, he’s not bad. He’s not remotely bad. Was God bad when he sent the flood? What was he, but a man reaching godhood and sending his own? Damn the promise of the rainbow; this Earth was vile, and you… you were the only creature worthy of making it aboard the Ark.
The rest of the survivors of his plans could find their way above the water and join his perfect world, but you? You would be kept safe and sound where he could watch over you. How was that bad? He was protecting you! Damnnit, you risked your life every day, and now that he pulled you to safety he was ‘bad?’
The book he held snapped shut as he stood, downing four or so ounces of whiskey in one drink. The buzz as it traveled down his throat was grounding, he decided, but not strong enough to focus him elsewhere.
His thoughts stayed on you. They should be on his project, he recognized that, but his mind never seemed to tire of your face. He wondered how much rewriting of your brain it would take in order to get even close to the affection you naturally shared back before he left S.T.A.R.S..
S.T.A.R.S.. Life was so much easier then. Well, perhaps the double life he led was tedious, but he had you completely. Now, you were a shell. You had sex a couple times since he brought you here; they made him feel closer, like he was making progress with you, sure, but so many stinging reminders plagued his head.
First and foremost, you had fallen for someone else while he was gone—you still loved Chris, from what he could tell. Second, you were here against your will; no amount of cuddling and home cooked meals and tiny personal freedoms would change that. Third, you thought he and his plans were inherently evil.
Before, he had your entire personality. Your highs and lows, your utmost confidence, your jokes, your vulnerability… your trust. That was who he fell in love with. Not the version of you that stared at the ceiling and searched for hidden security cameras to ease your unrelenting boredom.
Albert was usually thankful for his impressive memory and strong imagination. It was what got him through separation; replaying every interaction like a comforting movie and imagining what could have been what could be.
Now, it seemed like a curse.
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“Hey, Captain,” your voice called out as you smiled at him. “I made two thermoses of coffee. Want any?”
“Tea is preferred,” he said coldly, but when he saw your deflating shoulders he backtracked, “but I appreciate the sentiment. Very much. I'll drink it.”
“I-It’s alright, Captain, I could give it to—”
“I’d like the coffee, please,” he replied, standing up to take it. It was hot still, too hot, but he swallowed the mouthful regardless and nodded. “It's very good. Thank you.”
Was he lying? Maybe. He never cared for the taste and caffeine was only useful as an addition to painkillers, in his opinion. But he liked hot drinks and could gladly sip a morning tea on some occasions.
Somehow, the coffee you gave him—oh, he hoped that you made it entirely yourself—tasted more tolerable than the usual garbage that comes out of the machine in the break room.
“You're welcome,” you chuckled softly before you left to clock in. He savored the lingering affection in your glance and stowed it away to admire another time.
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The memory was engraved in Albert's mind, a mundane plaque in the vast shrine he'd mentally accumulated. In his brain was a museum; a nature trail with hundreds of instances like that; some were in the form of sticky notes you'd leave on his monitor when he left the room, some were monoliths with your essence engraved on every surface as tiny as it could be.
This specific memory was golden from where the bronze wore down. He found himself going back to it often. It wasn't when he first noticed you, that honor had its place as the very earth he built on. With every step he took down memory lane, he was reminded of that. No, it was when he realized how much he wanted to be the first.
The first person you thought of when wondering who to bring a cup of coffee; the first pair of eyes you see when you come in for work; the first man to marry you; the first in all your lists.
Back then, he cruelly deprived himself of the recognition that he loved you, but he knew what he felt wasn’t sustainable unless he acted on it.
As he walked deeper into the recesses of his mind, he landed on another. Somehow, Jill discovered his birthday. He hated the holiday; it was more a reminder of the decades of abuse by the hands of Umbrella than anything for merriment.
When Albert thought about his birthday, he pictured practicing piano until his fingers locked up, being sent to bed with no food in his growling stomach, and the dull ache that came with being utterly alone in a room full of children your age. He supposed all the Wesker children felt the same in their misery.
Regardless, the image of his birthday in 1997 faded into his mind.
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“Hey, Captain,” you murmured as you rapped on his open door gently. “How’re you feeling?”
Without looking up from his desk where he glared at a couple wrapped presents, he growled out a reply. “Just fine, Agent.”
“You're burning a hole through your desk. That’s good oak, you know,” you teased softly. You grinned triumphantly, as hidden as you could be from Albert’s eyes, as Albert smiled.
After a moment of silence, you continued. “I didn’t wanna ambush you like the others did. I guess I failed, since I'm cornering you in your office. They didn’t mean any harm, Cap. Just wanted to show their appreciation.”
Albert swallowed and motioned for you to sit down. He still didn’t speak.
“I cleaned and polished your gun for you… and I got you this. Birthdays aren’t always a cause for celebration, I know, but… I’m at least a little happy. If not for today, 37 years ago, I would still be a rookie cop doing fuck all to make a real change. You’re a good Captain, Albert. And a good man.”
Albert glanced up, eyes as steely as possible. Unfortunately, you had a knack for getting under his defenses, and you spot the sorrow in his eyes with ease. As you set the wrapped box down on his desk atop the other presents, you decided to say one more thing.
“...We care about you. All of us. Especially me,” you said firmly. “Happy birthday, Albert,” you added as you stood up.
Albert. You said his name. Not Captain, not Wesker, Albert. He wasn't a prodigy with a name heavy enough to turn coal to diamonds, he wasn't the leader of an elite force or even a heading scientist for bioterrorists in his free time. He was Albert.
Suddenly, his hand reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Ah—I’m sorry,” he muttered as he dropped it like hot coal. “I was going to ask if you’d… keep me company. It’s no fun to open presents alone,” he requested weakly, head down in shame.
Brightly, you nodded and moved your chair beside him. “We can open mine last. I’m actually curious as to what those idiots got you.”
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That was the first time you'd dropped all formality and just said his name. He recalled the shape of your lips as you said it, unsure but aware of your power. He didn't want to open presents, truth be told, he wanted to pull you into a hug and bury his face into your chest and hold and be held. It was humiliating.
Albert huffed. He missed you from then right now. You were so precious. He still loved you, of course, but he’d trade anything to go back and bask in the simplicity of your romance for just a bit longer.
He tried to get back to work, idly rotating the whiskey glass in his fingers to occupy his hands, but you crept in and soon his head was in his hands as he contemplated going through another evocation for a brief respite from the gnarled feeling in the pit of his stomach. He settled on a safe one; among his favorites, more frequently visited than others, he noted the first time you said it.
I love you.
You sat with him in the medical bay, bandaging his wounds from his most recent assault. It wasn’t a pleasant fight, nor was it honorable, especially if you knew what he was fighting for. He murdered a man without a weapon, then beat him into the concrete for good measure.
The man in question wanted to ask you out to dinner, but you didn't need to know that. You just needed to know what Albert told you, that he boasted about unspecified abhorrent plans. To Albert, he was telling the truth; infringing on his right to have you was abhorrent.
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“Albert Wesker, how the hell do you find yourself in these situations?” You sighed playfully. “Who was it this time? Actually, don't tell me, I think I see skin cells under your nails. I could try to DNA match.”
“It doesn’t matter. Ah! Careful around my arm,” he requested, referring to the bicep that was slashed open in a careless mistake while guarding against the man's knife. You happened to page him, wondering where he disappeared to after you went to the bathroom.
“It's lucky that you overheard terrorist plans in the same bar the team headed to,” you hummed. “I'm glad you put a stop to it.”
Albert gazed down at your focused face like he was memorizing it (which, he was). “As am I. Thank you, dear, for helping me.”
“Dear?” You echoed playfully. You glanced up briefly, then flushed at his own engrossed expression and bent your head back down to the task. “Well… anything I can do for you, Captain, consider it done.”
A warm silence filled the room. His arm was wrapped and stitched up just fine and the bleeding was minimal, so you turned to his split and bruised knuckles. You cleaned and wrapped them, then put ice on both hands.
“You've got to stop getting hurt like this, Cap,” you directed.
Albert smiled. “Why should I, if it means I have you tending to my wounds?”
After an eye roll and gentle shove (on his uninjured arm), you replied. “Well, we’re burning through a lot of supplies, for one. And for two, I love you too much to meet you here day after day. The smell of antiseptic makes my stomach drop with dread.”
Albert’s mouth fell agape in shock as he had to remind himself to breathe. And you? You just kept working, like you didn’t just skyrocket his blood pressure and heart rate and yet make his entire brain go silent.
“S-Say again?” He asked to confirm your words.
“You're wasting supplies and I love you too much to see you in pain,” you summarized.
After another few moments of stunned silence, he whispered, “You love me?”
You suddenly realized what you'd said. “Ah! I-I mean, in an appropriate way. I care for you. I—”
“I love you, too.”
You froze. The hug you pulled him into moments later strained his stitches on his arm, but he decided not to tell you.
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He took a sweet satisfaction in that memory, knowing that he'd gotten away with murder and you'd confessed to him while you dressed the weapon.
The recollection was a statue; frequently revisited, with a bench in front and a beautiful view of the surrounding environs. Cast in the same bronze as the kind on every plaque was the hug you brought him into.
As he continued down the road, single-mindedly driven by the pleasantry of the last experience, he paid no mind to the sky dimming and the trail growing gnarled and claustrophobic.
He found another favorite, one he didn't recall why he locked away. It was short, much shorter than every other one, but he loved basking in its feeling.
You'd just come off an… endeavor in the S.T.A.R.S. break room on a day everyone was off, and he was more than content to stare at and admire your face and listen to your voice carry on while he was blissfully checked out of cognizant thought.
He could picture you clearly, face close to his and bathed in afternoon sun. Your eyelashes framed your mesmerizing eyes, your lips kiss-bruised and turned up in a contented smile.
Your body was pliant and littered with hickeys that you mandated had to be covered by your uniform. His was faring no better; he'd actually requested a couple bruises to be placed where they'd show above the neck of his shirt.
If Albert could have frozen time, he would have waited an eternity in that moment and still lamented once eternity ended.
Albert was so engrossed in reliving this perfect moment a thousand times over, he didn't notice his mind growing darker, falling down, down, down, and landing with a splash at the bottom of a well so deep he could see the stars in the middle of the day.
No, the warmth of your image overtook the chill that came with the foreboding feeling of a mind slipping; he ignored it simply because he wanted to feel you more.
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“Bee?” you spoke softly.
“Yes, my love?” Albert turned to you, noting your messy hair from your tryst and yet deciding you looked beautiful. He set a hand on your cheek, stroking the contour of your face almost as a form of worship.
Perhaps you were more God than he was. Perhaps you deserved temples built in your name and more people killed for your favor. Perhaps he would find true purpose as your most loyal disciple. Perhaps he could only be happy if he was worshipping you.
He realized you’d been talking.
“—and I’d never want to leave Raccoon City of my own volition, but they kind of need me back home. It wouldn't be for too long; maybe a few years at most.”
What? The memory usually cut off there.
─────── ─── ─── ── ─ ─
No. Stop. Stop, he didn’t want to remember this.
─── ──── ──── ── ─
“Pardon me?” he croaked, sitting up rigidly.
“I’m going to go, I think. I worry that without me—”
“You’re not leaving me,” Albert stated shakily. “That’s what you’re trying to do, isn’t it?”
He felt his breath shorten. “You can’t. You… you’re everything, you can’t leave me,” he said weakly, grabbing your shoulder harshly while tears threatened to pool. "I've never had... you can't deprive me of yourself without warning!"
───── ── ─── ─
He didn’t feel good about this part! He just wanted to—he wanted to remember you! Stop fucking thinking, Albert!
──── ─── ── ─
“What? Al, I’m not trying to leave you. I just need to go home for a while,” you defended, anxiety raised at his volatile response. Why were you scared of him? You had no reason to be! He fucked up, so badly. You—the only person in the world he cared for—were scared of him.
“No! I am your home!” He argued hoarsely, eyes wide with instability. “I’m first, right? I come before them, don’t I?” He should be your home! You were his!
─ ─ ── ─
Albert slammed his fist down on the table beside him—or was it a nightstand? He heard glass shatter. Was it his memory or was it real? It was all real to him.
Stop! Will you stop? I don’t want to relive this!
─ ──
“What the hell is with you, Albert? Get off of me!” You screamed, scrambling up from the bed. As you hurried to dress yourself, he got up too and grabbed your arm.
“Nothing’s ‘with me’! Perhaps I don’t want my partner to leave me for a bullshit reason! You don't appreciate my love like I do yours, is that it?"
Why are you doing this, Albert? They won’t love you if you don’t get a handle on yourself. Let them go!
“Fine! Fuck, I won’t go! I’ll stay here,” you cried, wrenching your forearm from his grasp and inspecting the bruise. He hurt you—not as manipulation, just out of panic and anger. He hurt you.
“...oh, no. No, no, no. Darling, I-I’m so sorry. Please. I’m not sure what came over me, I just—”
You looked up at him with fear and betrayal in your eyes.
“No,” he choked out, “No, I'm sorry. Forgive me,” he whispered, finding himself on his knees before you, palms bleeding from the whiskey glass he shattered in his hands.
“I hate you, Wesker,” you growled coldly, peering down at him from your pedestal. “Everything we had is gone.” When were you on a pedestal?
“No, no, no… that's not right. This isn't real. You never said that, darling,” he sobbed. “This must be a—a waking nightmare. You never said that. You never said that.”
“But it is true, isn't it? I hate you. Nothing you do will bring back the version of me that you miss. They're dead,” you said coolly, a sadistic smile as you watched his groveling.
“That's wrong!” He insisted hysterically, running his hands through his hair and slicing his palms further on the follicles. Blood stained his pristine light hair, dripped down his temples, and repelled from his lab coat, ending up in droplets on the floor.
“It's not true, you don't hate me, you don't hate me, you don't hate me,” he repeated over and over, like he was convincing himself. “...right?”
“What do you think, Wesker? Would I be here if I was given the chance? Would I kiss you when you walk through the door if not for the shocks? Would I feel any semblance of guilt if I managed to kill you back at the Estate?” You—no, your image reflecting his insecurities—questioned cruelly.
“You… would,” Albert shook his head, hugging himself to make the bleeding stop. All it did was apply pressure and make rivulets of crimson streak down his biceps. He pulled his knees to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, but his damned imagination.
Luckily, he managed to steer it back into the memory from before and finished the mental scene.
“It’s—Bee, it's alright. You didn't mean to. Just don't do that again, okay? It hurt,” you said softly, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you, darling. So, so much.”
You were the first good thing in his life. Why did he react like that to you leaving?
Abruptly, an alert on his computer snapped him out of his breakdown. An alert from you—the real you, not the one his tortured mind devised as a self-destructive punishment. He checked the time. 16:53. He was nearly three hours late for lunch with you. Fuck.
Considering you refused breakfast this morning because you couldn't watch him cook it, you must have been hungry enough to actually alert him.
Without any of the grace he was known for, he grabbed your now-room-temperature food and hurried down corridors into his apartment. He burst in, desperation overtaking him. “My love! I’m so sorry, I got—I was caught up. I’m done for the rest of the day. I need you to hold me.”
You flashed a quizzical glance at him and sat up from where you laid on the couch. “Noted. Are you alright, Al?”
Al. That comforted him, if slightly. “I will be. Hurry and eat, I’ll be in bed.”
─────── ─── ─── ── ─ ─
You slunk into bed a few minutes later, and the moment he felt your weight shift the bed he cuddled into your chest and forced back tears.
To soothe himself, he shifted from the crook of your neck to inhale your scent to your sternum to be surrounded by your chest on all sides. It didn't matter how broad or narrow your body was, he didn't want to lift his face from his body until he was sure he wouldn't cry.
You were all he had. All he wanted, all he needs. How could he live with himself if you didn't want him?
“You'll forgive me, won't you?” He wondered timidly.
You shushed him, suddenly aware of how dire a state his mental health was at. “Forgive you for what, Bee?”
Swallowing thickly, he lifted his head to meet your eyes. “You don't hate me?”
“No, sweetheart, I don't.”
“You said—no, I imagined it, didn't I? You're real. You don't… you don't have to wear any of the collars or bracelets anymore. I'm taking it off, can I have your hand?” He asked urgently, taking off the bracelet like it was poisoning you.
“Albert, you're burning up—oh my god, your hands! Are those open wounds? Why is your hair wet? Is that blood? You—you tried to wash it off?”
“I heal fast,” he muttered, unintentionally tearing the scabs open as he crushed the bracelet in his bloodied palms. “There. No more of that. You can be trained in other ways.”
“Albert! Come to the bathroom, let me clean your hands,” you chastised. “Infection could do bad things to the viruses in your body.”
──────────────────────
As he was led to the bathroom, the memory from earlier of you doctoring his hands returned. He smiled softly and watched you unblinkingly. “I love you,” he murmured, trying hard to feel loved againt, just for his own comfort.
“...I love you too.” It was hesitant, like you were worried it was the truth. And it was. You loved him once more, even after everything. But you resolved to keep your grip on yourself; you wouldn’t aid him in any plans or harm any of your former coworkers.
This time, it was stitches on his hands that ripped as he brought you into a needy hug.
┌───────────────────────┐
Gonna start using this as a little ending ramble lol
This whole chapter was just me experimenting with a lot of things 💔 again anon I'm so sorry i kinda monkeys pawed it... Fluff but at what cost
Anyways this chapter is a little confusing and for that I'm sorry! I was inspired by encephalitis hannigram fics for the reality blurring, the scene in Django with the wine glass shattering for the whiskey glass breaking, Hannibal Lecter's mind palace for the shrine/collection of memories, there's a coraline reference somewhere in there... blehh idk
Maybe this whole chapter is ooc but it's because ummm ummmm let me live my life!!!
Read my other Wesker works?
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introverting-rn · 9 months ago
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*taking notes* oh okay, so my oldest memory is my youngest self, who i’ve known for the longest of all versions of me, but who is also the furthest removed from where i am now. okay, that’s cool :]
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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geto reminds me so much of alyosha, not because they share the same ideals but in the sense that every time they appear in the story it's like that page is a love letter to them. to be loved is to be remembered and everyone that truly gets to know them just holds such a special place for them in their hearts. they inspire, they comfort, they love so unconditionally. geto haunts the narrative, not because of his villainous acts but because he loved so much. and he was so loved in return!
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heartyluv · 2 months ago
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Note: Sylus is just the fluffiest man ever. He deserves all the love in the world and I shall be first in line to give it. ♡︎
Creds to @/strangergraphics & @/omi-resources for the banners.
No warmings ◡̈
Word Count: 1,040
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Protective!Sylus/Reader Headcanons
♱ Sylus is so protective over you in a way that you thought only existed in all the movies you’ve watched and books you’ve read.
♱ It’s not overwhelming in the sense that it’s too much or suffocating. It’s overwhelming because you never thought someone could ever love you so much that your entire existence is what completes theirs.
♱ Sylus hesitated to tell you how important you were to him. He had difficulty accepting it himself when he came to the realization that you were his endgame, because loving someone meant vulnerability—even weakness.
♱ I feel like the moment he realized you meant the world to him was when he saw how seamlessly you mended into his life and daily routine without judgment. I’m still imagining him as the leader of Onychinus, so he’s still that feared arms dealer that everyone whispers about.
♱ I don’t believe he hid anything from you. He laid everything out on the table. For one, it’s because he doesn’t lie to people and two, putting everything out there left no room for you to find something to leave him for later. Sylus doesn’t necessarily have a fear of being abandoned, but he views it as an expectation. If you knew what and who he was from the beginning, he knew it wouldn’t be long for you to be solidified in whatever decision you choose.
♱ But when you stayed, when you held him and told him that there was nothing unlovable or unworthy about him, you were stuck with the man for life.
♱ “I’ll never disappoint you. Everything I do from this point forward will always and only be done with your wellbeing at the forefront of importance. Thank you for choosing me.”
♱ He definitely has a tracker on you, at least two. One in your phone and another in a necklace he gave you (you still don’t know about that one).
♱ He proposed the idea of you moving in with him a few weeks after you officially became a couple. While every part of you wanted to say yes, you had to be realistic. The relationship was just starting to get serious, but Sylus had already started moving you in without you being aware.
♱ I’m talking he buys an exact replica of your wardrobe, shoes, jewelry and extras. He’s got at least double of your favorite body wash, perfume, lotion, and hair products. Basically, all the things that make your house a home, he brought it to his place. All your books, records, and movie collections are in his home and if they’re classics, he tries to find original copies just because he loves to make you happy.
♱ “When you tell me that you are ready, there’s no need to wait so that you can gather your things. I have everything you need and more, ready for you to come home. Just like me, it’ll be waiting.”
♱ Sylus became so protective of you because you were the only thing in his life that seemed real. He did nothing, as he says, “to earn you love”, but Sylus being who he is, is what won you over completely. You didn’t question him when things felt a little concerning or judge him when it got scary. You stuck by his side, praised him, believed in him, trusted him. You loved him, something he thought he’d never experience.
♱ He appointed a personal driver and bodyguard(s) to you whenever he’s unable to be around you and they’re what he deems the best available. But if he finds better, he’ll replace them without any issue.
♱ He threatens them for sure LOL. I don’t think he’s light about it either. Like he’s gruesome and detailed about what he’ll do to them should they fail in keeping a smile on your face and your safety secured.
♱ And he goes to you for daily reports. You think it’s the cutest thing despite him being so serious.
♱ “Should you have any concerns or complaints about who I’ve assigned to you, bring it to me directly, sweetie. I’ll handle it.”
♱ He buys you everything. He wants you to feel secure in every aspect within his control. Keeping you happy is what keeps him happy because for him, you’re all that matters. So emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and whatever other -lly there is, he’s going to make sure you have the best because it’s what you deserve.
♱ You bring up a gaming system? He’ll buy it. You bring up a hobby you’re thinking about getting into? He’ll have nothing but the best supplies delivered to you. You want a baby? He’s more than willing to start the family he’s been ready to give you since you first time you told him you loved him.
♱ He has hurt people when it came to you. You don’t know this, but times when someone has called you out of your name or disrespected you and you told him about it, he didn’t go as far as to off them, but he made them feel what will happen should they or anyone else dares to ever try it again.
♱ “Your first mistake was believing you had the privilege to be in her presence. Your second and final one was disrespecting her and thinking there’d be no consequence.”
♱ Sylus loves your skin. HEAR ME OUT!!
♱ You’re just so soft, you always smell so good, and he lovessss to feel you. The man is addicted to rubbing you, licking you, touching you, anything he can do to be close to you because unfortunately, living in your skin just isn’t gonna happen. Like he’s addicted to you and only you get to see how serious he is about it.
♱ He hates seeing you cry, especially if it’s about something he can’t directly handle.
♱ “Tell me how to make it better, kitten. Nothing is unreachable when I’m here to correct it. Talk to me.”
♱ Basically, you’re like porcelain to him. By no means does he think you’re weak or that you need saving. But because you let him be your shield, because you allow him to be the one to protect you from all the dangers and the harshness of the world, he doesn’t take that responsibility lightly.
♱ You are his happiness. You are his reason.
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ladyofstarfall206 · 3 months ago
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Illyrian Mating Instincts
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Smut 18+ only
A/N: Literally could not stop thinking about this. Hope you enjoy these possessive Az HCs!
SFW
🔹 Azriel has the largest and most powerful wingspan out of his brothers, and he makes it a point to spread them for his mate whenever he has the chance; after a training session, brushing one against your shoulder whenever he passes you in the hall, sunning them on the balcony of the House of Wind while you’re watching, and especially when you’re in the presence of another male. For Illyrians, wings are a status symbol and Az will not hesitate to flare them to assert his dominance over any male who threatens to take your attention from him. He’s even done it to Cassian before.
🔹 Azriel puts much time and effort into making his wings look good for you and feels an immense sense of pride when you admire them.
🔹 Continuing with this topic, he uses his wings to cacoon you at night while you sleep, letting you snuggle against his bare chest with the velvet membrane surrounding you on all sides while his shadows keep watch.
🔹 Az uses them to protect you in public too as they provide a shelter under which he can kiss you in private and part the crowds so you have space to walk.
🔹 His growls. To die for.
🔹 If anyone outside of the family gets too close to you without permission, especially if you’re in a relaxed or vulnerable state, he’ll let out a soft growl of warning and watch the interaction closely in case he needs to step in.
🔹 “It’s okay, love.” You coo gently, reaching over to stroke his knuckles until his wings and taught muscles relax.
🔹 He tends to walk into rooms slightly ahead of you, keeping his palm on your lower back as he leans his head through the doorway and scans the area to make sure it’s safe before you enter.
🔹 Azriel can sense your period nearing days in advance, and prepares for the painful week to come for you by making a comfortable nest on the bed with extra pillows and blankets and cancels his missions so he does not have to leave your side. He instructs the House of Wind to conjure up meals and baths so he can focus his full attention on your wellbeing.
NSFW
🔹 Azriel loves to take you before going to the Illyrian war camps and get your scent all over his skin. He likes that the war lords can smell you on him and can’t have you.
🔹 The only thing he enjoys more is taking you before you accompany him to the Illyrian war camps and covering the soft skin of your throat in love bites.
🔹 “Oh yes, love. Right there…” You moan as Azriel’s mouth latches onto the sensitive skin under your ear. Your eyes roll back and your hips match his rhythm to meet his thrusts.
🔹 Azriel has waited over 500 years for his mate, and desires to give himself completely to you. He wants to surrender himself to your love and trusts you enough to let you use the most sensitive part of him for your pleasure. In the safety of your bedroom, Azriel will lay down on his stomach and allow you to ride his wing while he purrs.
🔹 Run your fingers along the outer edge of his wing and his whole body will shudder. Right before he finishes, his eyes will screw shut and he’ll bury his head in the crook of your neck. Illyrians cum a lot, and your bond takes over his body. He will spill into you over and over again and you’ll have to hold him to your chest while stroking his back to bring him down.
🔹 Especially when the bond is new, Azriel gets all worked up and full of energy any time you interact with other males for too long. He’ll start panting and pull you into the next room where he can’t keep his hands off you.
🔹 “I know. I know, baby. I’m right here.” You reassure, smoothing a stray curl out of his eyes while he moves to undress you.
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astroxrion · 10 days ago
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Emotional Security is based on The Moon 🌙
wherever you have your moon in your houses, you’ll have to abide by that houses energy to find true security emotionally within. Each house Broken Down Below.
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Moon in the 1st House
Emotional security comes from letting yourself feel what you feel in real time. You stabilize when you stop masking your mood and show up fully. You’re safest when you allow your emotions to guide your identity, not fight against them.
You feel secure within when you honor every emotion as part of who you are and let your presence reflect your truth.
Moon in the 2nd House
You find emotional security by building internal value. You feel safest when you trust your worth is solid and not dependent on what you give. Steady comforts and physical grounding bring you back to center when your heart feels scattered.
You feel secure within when you trust that your value is constant and doesn’t depend on anyone else’s response.
Moon in the 3rd House
Emotional safety comes from expression. You need to talk things out, write it down, or share your thoughts to feel understood. Connection through communication is your comfort. Silence breeds doubt, but dialogue brings peace.
You feel secure within when your mind has space to speak freely and you don’t censor your thoughts to keep the peace.
Moon in the 4th House
You feel emotionally secure when you have a strong sense of home within. Your peace grows through self-nurturing and honoring your past. When you let yourself feel deeply without judgment, safety returns. You are your own sanctuary.
You feel secure within when you create emotional safety for yourself instead of waiting for others to provide it.
Moon in the 5th House
Emotional security comes from joy and full expression. You feel safe when your inner child has room to breathe. Creativity, play, and love without performance help you regulate. Let yourself be emotionally loud, messy, and alive.
You feel secure within when you allow yourself to create and express without fearing how you’ll be received.
Moon in the 6th House
You stabilize emotionally when your world is in order. Acts of service and daily care restore your peace. Routines are your medicine. You feel safest when you’re useful, but not overworked. Your emotions need structure, not suppression.
You feel secure within when you give your emotions a rhythm to move through, not a cage to shrink inside.
Moon in the 7th House
You feel emotionally secure when you’re emotionally mirrored. Peace comes from balanced, honest partnerships where you’re not alone in your feelings. But you also have to give yourself the validation you often wait for from others.
You feel secure within when you become your own best partner and give yourself the empathy you seek.
Moon in the 8th House
Emotional security only comes through depth. You need raw, vulnerable truth to feel at peace. Surface comfort never lasts. Your safety grows when you face your shadows and choose to trust those who see you completely.
You feel secure within when you stop hiding your pain and begin to see it as a source of strength, not shame.
Moon in the 9th House
You feel emotionally secure when your spirit is expanding. Learning, freedom, and belief help regulate your heart. You need space to grow and something greater to believe in. Trust that your emotions evolve with your perspective.
You feel secure within when you trust your journey and let your emotions travel instead of staying stuck.
Moon in the 10th House
You find emotional security through responsibility and achievement. When your inner world feels reflected in your outer success, peace settles in. But you have to learn to separate emotional worth from public approval. Build from the soul.
You feel secure within when you define success by how aligned you feel, not by how others react to your image.
Moon in the 11th House
You feel emotionally secure when you belong. Community, friendship, and shared vision help regulate your feelings. You need people who hold space for your mind and heart. Isolation erodes you. Emotional safety is found in connection.
You feel secure within when you surround yourself with people who understand your heart, not just your ideas.
Moon in the 12th House
Emotional security comes through solitude, spirituality, and surrender. Your emotions live in deep waters and need quiet to be understood. Peace finds you when you let go of control and allow yourself to rest inside the unseen.
You feel secure within when you honor your emotional cycles and give yourself sacred space to just be
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parkjihoonswifey · 28 days ago
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YEON SI-EUN NSFW HEADCANNONS
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Si-eun doesn't do anything halfway, and that includes sex. Once he trusts you enough to let you in physically, he's determined, deliberate, and deeply focused on your reactions. His attention to detail translates into touch. He watches, listens, and learns your body like he’s solving a problem.
He’s not the type to talk dirty just to fill silence, but when he does speak, it hits like a bullet to the spine. Low, direct, and right in your ear as he fucks you from all the right angles.“Keep your eyes on me,” or “Say it again,” in that husky, slightly breathless voice? Ruinous.
He won’t mark you publicly, but when it’s just the two of you? Hands on your waist, firm grip on your thigh, teeth at your collarbone like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. It's not about control; it's about claiming what’s his without ever needing to say it.
Si-eun is patient. He has no problem dragging things out, hovering just close enough to make you squirm, holding your hips still while he kisses his way down, stopping right before where you need him. He wants to see you undone, and he’s strategic about it.
He keeps his gaze locked on yours, especially when he’s going down on you or when you’re riding him. There’s a quiet confidence there, like he wants to watch every twitch of pleasure cross your face as if that is his reward for doing you so good.
Once the heat dies down, Si-eun becomes surprisingly gentle. He won’t say much, but the way he pulls you close, runs a thumb along your jaw, and tucks his face into your neck says more than words ever could. That’s when he’s the most vulnerable, open, quiet, safe.
He’s not into casual. If you’ve gotten this close, you’ve earned a place no one else has, and he takes that seriously. He’ll explore kinks if you ask, but only once he trusts you completely. Consent, boundaries, and emotional safety are non-negotiable.
❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀
AHHH IM SO UNCOORDINATED THIS IS LIKE SOMETHING I WROTE WHEN I FIRST STARTED BUT UMMM THIS IS A FILLER WHILE I FINALLY START ON THESE REQUESTS SORRYYYYY.
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icantbelieveitsnotbutler · 3 months ago
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Some Thoughts on the "I smell blood" Scene
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Manga spoilers.
This is kind of a continuation of my post about Ciel simultaneously trusting and mistrusting Sebastian, but dealing with how Ciel seems to completely trust Sebstian not to (physically) hurt him.
Ciel learned within 24 hours of knowing Sebastian that the demon wasn't interested in his body, only his soul.
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When he wakes from nightmares, he doesn't want Sebastian to touch him, but he trusts him not to touch him enough to fall asleep with him in the room.
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While his guard is always up to parry any of Sebastian's teasing, he is completely physically at ease around him, even when naked or laying down.
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Within days of being triggered into psychosomatic blindness by the demon, he's comfortable enough to be naked in a tub in front of him and let him wash his hair.
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Within a fortnight he's laying facedown on a bed with no concern for the butler's presence.
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It doesn't cross his mind that Sebastian might try to touch him inappropriately, because he's never shown any attraction toward his body and never taken advantage of the many opportunities in which Ciel has been vulnerable in front of him.
Despite the fanservicey framing of some scenes, the characters in it are not having any sexual or romantic thoughts or feelings. In the Weston library scene, Ciel is shocked and sweats because he doesnt know why Sebastian has grabbed him, not because he thinks he's about to be sexually assaulted.
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Again in the "I smell blood" scene, despite it being framed like Sebastian is about to SA him, Ciel's alarm is because he doesn't know why Sebastian is acting like that. He's learned from experience that Sebastian only grabs him rudely when there's some danger that he doesn't have time to communicate. Ciel's fear is directed at that unknown danger, not Sebastian himself.
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The translation "what's gotten into you" is misleading. Ciel knows what's gotten into him: fear for his safety; what he doesn't know is what threat Sebastian has detected.
When he saw Sebastian suddenly freeze, Ciel asked him what was wrong. When Sebastian starts ripping off his clothes instead of responding, Ciel says "Oy! What on earth is it!?"
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Ciel implicitly trusts Sebastian with his body; that trust has been validated by the years they've spent together. It's his soul he doesn't trust him with.
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radioactive-yuri · 4 months ago
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rewatching svs redux, and i'm still going insane overanalyzing janus telling the others his name. more specifically right afterwards, when roman makes fun of him and he immediately bites back with an incredibly low blow. it's honestly very indicative of what he's like as a character; constantly on guard, ready to show his teeth at every indication of a threat. it also kind of goes into my idea of him and virgil as foils; both cautious, both protective of themselves and what they perceive as their weak spots, but the way they defend themselves is so different. virgil does it by never opening up at all, janus does it by opening up like a trap.
when virgil opens up, he's already off his guard, he won't do it unless he trusts the situation completely. i don't think janus has ever trusted any situation completely. so instead of opening up when he feels it's safe to do so, he opens up when he knows it's unsafe to do so, he's just constantly prepared for the eventual worst outcome. he had that honestly pretty cruel comeback locked and loaded, ready from the start, because he knew roman would take advantage if he showed any vulnerability. that's what i mean when i say that he opens himself up like a trap; his weakness can't be exploited if he's always on guard. ready to fight back, even when there are no weapons in sight.
virgil's emotional walls can be brought down. when he feels affection, safety, comfort, he lets his guard down. janus could feel all of those things, and still be prepared to bite back at a moment's notice. and i think that also fits into their respective roles: anxiety gone too far means expecting cruelty at every turn. self-preservation gone too far means preparing for cruelty at every turn.
and, just like what happened in that scene, janus being constantly on guard means that no matter how vulnerable he gets, no matter how much he opens up, he can always take all of it back if it goes wrong. the trap closes like this: "you can't hurt me; i've prepared for every situation in which you might."
this is a carnivorous animal bearing its fangs at its perceived assailant, a fox raised in the woods doesn't understand the difference between a teasing poke and a fist ready to reel back. it'll bite you anyways. just don't poke the fucking fox. its scared, and its teeth are sharp.
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lilislegacy · 1 year ago
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In all these instances, Annabeth is going through a terribly stressful situation, and she’s not afraid to admit that she wants Percy to hold her. The only time Annabeth lets herself be truly vulnerable, and feels truly safe, is when she is in Percy’s arms.
She craves to be held by him. And that doesn’t mean she’s weak, or that he’s stronger than her, or that she relies on him to take care of her. It just means that for the first time in her life, she has a pair of arms to collapse into when she’s scared or upset. And yes, she absolutely does the same for Percy and takes care of him too, but it’s slightly different. Percy has always had his mom to love him and take care of him and hold him. Annabeth, however, had to put walls up at a young age. She learned to never rely on anybody else for safety or comfort, because she never consistently had someone loving her or taking care of her.
But now that she has that, it’s not a surprise that she yearns for his affection. Annabeth is touch-starved in a way that Percy isn’t. And she never feels more loved or more safe than she does when he is holding her. And I don’t know about you guys, but I am so happy that she has that now. Annabeth Chase is a warm, sensitive, and emotional character. And when those parts of her shine through, I think it makes her one of the most realistic characters.
For some reason, I feel like people think that Annabeth, and other female characters, have to be cold and insensitive in order to be strong. But I think that couldn’t be further from the truth! Allowing yourself to be vulnerable takes the utmost strength. Love and trust, and having someone by your side, makes people stronger, not weaker. I personally love that Annabeth lets herself be loved and comforted by her partner. Because she can be “the little spoon” and still be completely his equal. Wanting to be held and taken care of does not make someone lesser or weaker. It makes them human. (And it goes the same with men and all genders). It makes Annabeth one of the most relatable and realistic people in the series, and I love that Rick shows that side of her.
Annabeth Chase is a remarkably strong, fierce, legendary female warrior. She also craves to be held by her loving boyfriend. And those are not conflicting statements.
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maybefae · 7 months ago
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Your First Impression of Your Person
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Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.
I was leaning more towards a romantic partner that you are going to end up with that will have a significant place in your life but take it as it resonates for you.
Tips!
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|Pile 1
Tarot: Eight of Swords (horizontal), Death, The High Priestess, Seven of Pentacles, Ten of Cups (horizontal), Page of Cups, Four of Pentacles, The Star (reversed), The Fool
Oracle: The Ladybug and Sweet Pea (happiness), The Chipmunk and Laurel (success), The Otter and Cattail (peace)
This person is someone that your soul has been letting you know was coming with certain signs or messages. And this could be someone you wished for, but there is a strong sense that this person was just meant to come into your life. It’s like you wished for this person and didn’t know that they were gonna come in whether you wished for them or not. I believe fate and freewill coincide together and this is one of those grey areas. 
Your person comes in either when a new chapter starts for you or this person comes in and triggers it. Whichever this new chapter is happening, there is a feeling of uncertainty and pessimistic caution - as if trust had been bruised. You almost feel like a wolf backed into a corner and someone is encroaching on your space and you’re trying to decide if they are safe or if you need to bite your way out of a situation. I don’t know if the new chapter has left you feeling a little vulnerable or if you did your little spells (writing down your persons characteristics, a letter from their POV of you, or moodboards), but it took longer than you expected so you developed a resentment of some kind. You’re skeptical of them. It’s like a “oh, now you decide to show up when I don’t want you anymore.” But you know that you still do but your own expectations have hurt you. Your person has done nothing to you.
In fact, you decide to give them a singular cup with caution to see if they can fill it because you still want them. You’re treading lightly and they realize this. They genuinely want to offer you ten full cups and you realize that quickly with how much they bring to the table. They do bring you a lot of happiness and peace, which their entrance into your life probably wasn’t anything grand. Their peaceful stroll into your life probably made you skeptical as well as angry. “But they are what you need(ed).” You probably expected something dramatic because of past people or situations and when you didn’t get that from your person, it felt unsafe. You may have some doubts and think “this wasn’t what I wished for.” But it was, deep down it was. And your wishes were a success.
I think you will be very emotional after dropping the wall finally. I think they will do something that will show you that they love you early on and it will make your walls instantly fall. There’s a feeling of guilt for being so resentful and angry towards your person and you may not know how to forgive yourself. But just know, your person says that you have nothing to be sorry for. There could be a moment when you decide to tell them this and your tears will be dried by them.
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|Pile 2
Tarot: The Hierophant, The Hanged Man, Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, The Empress, Ace of Wands, The Lovers, Four of Wands, The Star
Oracle:  The Eel and Iris (safety), The Boar and Pumpkin (confidence), The Snake and Fern (starting over), The Skunk and Magnolia (protection)
Before I pull the cards, I ended up shuffling face up for a moment. Your person may show you all their cards upfront so you know what they want, their boundaries, and their feelings towards you. There isn’t any pussy-footing around feelings and playing games. They are too grown for that and they take love and relationships very seriously. I had to go back and pull an oracle card I say while resetting the deck and it was The Eel and Iris card which represents safety in this deck. There are two messages here. They will leave if they don’t think you are safe. They are slimy in the way of being able to get away if you start to play with their heart, not that they are a player and wiggle in and out of your life. Absolutely not. And they offer you and your heart a lot of safety by presenting all their cards to you right away. They don’t play games. If it’s important, Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls could hold significance.  - Just from getting all these messages without pulling any cards, or just from this one oracle card, I have a very strong feeling about this message. They get to business in a very determined and sure-footed way. They are dependable.
Now that I pulled the cards, my top messages are correct. You will find their confidence very attractive because it doesn’t come off in a cocky way. Their confidence comes off just in a sure and stable way. They made it very clear to you that they find you “absolutely breathtaking” as soon as they got to talk to you (and in the same moment, they ask you on a date and your NUMBER, not your social media.) I think they will also be very attractive and not someone you expect to be attracted to you. They are very successful -  everything else in their life is in line but they don’t have a lover. They are very picky so you should feel lucky they chose you. They are looking for commitment, something serious. For some this could be marriage but if you don’t like that idea, make that clear right away because they will like how you’re sure of your wants. They will respect it, especially if you make it abundantly clear that you want something committed and long term outside of legal bindings. 
There is a lot of sexual tension in this pile. And there is a very wealthy energy coming off the both of you, especially with how formal I felt writing this. It was like I was writing a contract. 
I think that they will also let you know pretty early on that this could be a start over for them and they are giving love one more try before giving up. Maybe they could’ve given up before hand but you two got sexually involved and it led to them giving the both of you a shot. With them laying their cards on the table and you laying down yours, it creates a very stable foundation for the both of you to grow off of. This feels like a very mature energy, maybe 30s? There is a feeling of creating some sort of foundation for yourself, even it you could just be starting your foundation then.
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|Pile 3
Tarot: Three of Swords, The Hierophant, Ace of Wands, Judgement, Knight of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Hermit, Nine of Cups, Temperance, Strength
Oracle: The Wolf and Rose Hip (guardianship), The Vulture and Asphodel (upheaval), The Sheep and Blackberry (devotion)
The Three of Swords instantly jumped out when I started shuffling. And before I started, the knight of cups was at the bottom…I believe your person wanted to bring your own heartbreak to light first and foremost. I don’t believe this card is part of your impression of them. This feels like a combination of their opinion of you combined with what you think of them. There’s a deep feeling of heartbreak from you but I don’t think you’ve given up on love, you really just want to finally meet the person you’ll spend your life with. The love of your life. This pile isn’t for someone seeking something temporary.
Pile 3, your person is the love of your life. They truly love you and I think that is why they wanted me to talk about you first. They come in very protectively, a wolf guarding their sheep. It’s not that you’re fragile but they have a good understanding that you are sensitive and a soft soul, which brings out their protective side. I think you welcome it because there is a feeling of instant safety you get from this person, like finally finding shelter to stand under while the rain clouds clear up. They instantly light up the passion you had for love again because they come in with the same passion, which isn’t inherently sexual either. This passion comes from a place of safety and comfort from each other, it’s like finally experiencing a love that isn’t so intense. Puppy love…maybe love that is usually experienced when you’re younger. There is a sense of them bringing back light-hearted fun, that love doesn’t have to be so taxing on your soul (and it shouldn’t be). 
There is a message of, “your patience will be rewarded.” 
They see you as an angel, pile 3. And they are merely your knight and they offer you so much devotion. I know this should be your first impression of them but I think you see this practically right away. “Light dawns on marble head.” They bring you out of the hermit phase and show you that they have all nine cups and you only need to bring your one cup so you can have the Ten of Cups together. They don’t expect anything other than your presence, you just have to show up and give them love. That’s all they expect from you and I think that comes as a surprise to you because people had expected so much of you and stripped you of it all so you were left empty. It probably took you a long time to fill your own cup again. They bring new and wanted change even though it may come with some uncomfortability from your end. 
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Dividers: @inklore
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astroismypassion · 2 months ago
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Astrology observations 🌸🌷🌸
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Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion
With Neptune Square MC you probably don't see yourself in a »typical« career. Also, other people or the public so to say has a false understanding of your role in the society, your status, career and even about your relationship with your parents. You are confused about your profession or your life path. You quite literally might need to pretend in your job (such as being an actor) or you feel like you cannot be you, but instead play a role (counsellor). There is a barrier of illusion here, because in your career you cannot be just you, but it's often a role you are »pretending« for.
Moon opposite Chiron: with Chiron hitting the Moon here, there is usually an emotional vulnerability from the past (either from the family or the mother) and you feel it comes up again and again in your relationships. You often feel emotions are »too much« or you don't feel understood emotionally enough. You have felt that it is not safe to express your feelings at home. Yet now you deeply understand other's emotions, but at the same time you are scared of emotional closeness.
Uranus square Pluto: you often feel repressed, restricted in a public job or working for another's company. You like going against the norm. You may lose your job and randomly start your own company, because you don't like to be controlled. Only when you are in crisis or chaos, you actually end up making a change.
Jupiter trine Saturn: you build things really slowly in life. You often approach it with structure and a vision with a plan. You may even help build a school or a company. This aspect is very much »start up« energy.
Pluto in the 4th house, you grew up in a family where there was survelliance of some sort or family member were too critical. This rarely means actual death of a family member, but instead you lost something very important, like divorce of your parents or loss of a healthy family dynamic. You felt you couldn't trust emotions and relationships at home, so at times you have a hard time trusting others or have a hard time building long-term, stable relationships. Feelings of safety, protection and love were not openly expressed. Or they were conditioned with power, control or sometimes even fear. One parent usually had weak control or was completely physically or emotionally absent. You may feel that you don't know who you really are when you peel off outer mask or the influence of your family. You may often move, renovate your home or quite literally lose it and build a new one. Or you destroy everything what you had and build new emotional and physical connections. You could also move far away due to feeling of releasing the burden of family legacy or to break from your heritage, inherited patterns. You may not be as patriotic too, almost like there is sort of disdain for your home country. There is an indirect transfer of trauma from a family member, you feel like you carry the weight of events you didn't directly experienced.
Lilith in the 4th house is tricky. I would say even more than Pluto in the 4th, because at least Pluto can »reintroduce« themselves and transform many points in life. Lilith here touching your roots, emotional world, family, what can end up happening is you isolating yourself a lot. You often have a feeling of rebellion or being left out like a general feeling or feeling you experience at home or with your family. But often you isolate, when you don't work through your past family patterns. Usually this placement later on builds a home and a family life completely based on their own terms and principles.
If you have North Node in the 2nd house, yeah figure out your values in life as soon as possible. Because when you don't, you end up being too giving and sacrifical to others. In this lifetime, you need to develop financial literacy, develop talents and practical skills. Your life lesson will be learning to be self-sufficient, knowing your worth and creating generational wealth basically. You probably came from emotional dependency or an environment with addiction, substance abuse problems, but you need to learn stable confidence in your adulthood.
Surprisingly, Uranus in the 12th house is that one low-key placement that could ALSO indicate having a feeling of leading a double life. And what I mean by this, you have your outter mundane, normal life and an inner life full of »aha moments«, deep transformations, secret rebellion, resentment towards the old structures or anything that you deem too conventional in community. There is this feeling that the real »you« is hidden or within you, but not visible to others. You have an inner understanding that you are different from others, but you never say that to others or share this with others, you keep quiet.
With Neptune in the 12th house, here a double life could also be found. But from much different reasons than Uranus in the 12th. There are usually troubles differenciating between what's real and what's ficional, imaginative or illusory. So you often don't say anything, because you feel others just won't understand or see you as someone »just a little odd«.
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Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion
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locketsvault · 2 months ago
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「 CUDDLING WITH XIANZHOU 」
pairings: jing yuan x reader ፥ jingliu x reader ፥ luocha x reader ፥ jiaoqiu x reader ፥ moze x reader ፥ feixiao x reader
tags: gender neutral reader, no agab mentioned, first person, fluff, cuddling/phyiscal affection
warnings: canon angst/traumas, mostly fluffy though, potential ooc for jingliu, luocha, and feixiao (still learning them), potential typos, luochas is shorter, cursing-
other parts: star rail ᨒ stellaron hunters ᨒ jarilo-vi ᨒ xianzhou ᨒ penacony ᨒ amphoreus
a/n: this should hopefully be a complete series in time. thus, I will not be taking requests for the next parts release, they’ll be pumped out in time. I do not mind taking requests on proper scenarios or more elaboration on a character though! no gender or sex mentioned, no pronouns either!
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// jing yuan⌇˚.༄
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⮑ He’s a big cat, yes he’s cuddly. But you have to manage to get into his inner circle first. He doesn’t touch unless he’s close to someone. It’s just not his thing. And it’s also for safety reasons yk?
⮑ He does enjoy cuddles, he never has had a stigma with it. But he doesn’t cuddle his friends. Especially because he’s a general and that’s just… very weird and unprofessional. He keeps affection for his partner and his partner only. And personally, I think it’s a good sign of trust with him.
⮑ Pda is definitely out of the question. Not because he wouldn’t like it, there’s a chance he could. But as I stated earlier, he is a general. It wouldn’t look the best, and it genuinely wouldn’t be the safest. It’s like waving a big red flag saying you’re his vulnerability.
⮑ You’re more than likely going to be the one going to him with how busy he is. When you’re both home he will definitely seek you out, he can be quite clingy depending on how much he has missed you. As I said, he’s a big cat. But sometimes he’s really busy, sometimes he’s forgetful. Sometimes he needs to rest and his first stop is bed. Even if you’re not in it.
⮑ He’s not a little spoon, that’s not his personality. But, if you tell him you want to hold him, he just might let you. Otherwise, it takes very specific circumstances. His favorite is probably having you lay on top of him, like a weighted blanket. It helps him feel more secure when he’s tired. If he’s trying to stay awake, he will take you curled up into him any way you choose.
⮑ 8/10, he is a good cuddler, when he has time.
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// jungliu⌇˚.༄
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⮑ The only person she will ever show affection to is her partner. You’d have to be in an established relationship for her to be physically affectionate. She genuinely views it as a weakness for her.
⮑ And I’m saying this before she’s mara struck. Afterwards is well… very different. For obvious reasons. But beforehand, she is a tough person. She’s strict, and I don’t doubt she isn’t strict on herself. Same with Jing Yuan, she is of high status. Underneath all of that though, she finds that when it’s you, she actually enjoys touch.
⮑ Pda is out of the question for her as well. Except she straight up doesn’t enjoy it. She doesn’t want to expose a weakness for herself and you. But she also finds it to be no one else’s business. She’d rather keep you to herself.
⮑ You would have to be the one to initiate physical contact with her. It’s rare that she’s the one to do it. So rare, that even years into the relationship you still get flustered when she grabs your wrist or waist. She leaves you to be the one to ask for it, since it’s not a main love language for her. It’s rare she will say no if you ask or initiate it. She does find your touch soothing. Oddly enough, if she lets you around her when she’s Mara struck, your touch is one of the few things to bring her back.
⮑ She lets you pick, she has no preference. You want her to hold you? Okay. You want to hold her? Mmm, sure. She gets your touch and sees you happy to have your cuddles. When you sleep together you’re usually entangled in one another, taking turns on who sleeps on whose shoulder.
⮑ 5/10, as long as you put in the work she is nice to cuddle. Points deducted due to her Mara struck though :(.
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// luocha⌇˚.༄
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⮑ His is going to be short because for one, we don’t know too much on him, and for two, I actually haven’t looked into him much. That being said, I think he could be a cuddler.
⮑ I do not think physical touch is one of his main love languages, and from the tiny glimpse into his past that we get, I feel that he has trust issues with those around him, those close to him. Still, for his partner, I think he’d be willing to cuddle them, and may even find himself enjoying it.
⮑ He will only do pda if it’s something you want. I don’t see him as wanting to be touchy in front of others, it’s not exactly respectful. And it draws attention that he does not want. Though… he isn’t above doing it to make someone jealous if they annoy him enough.
⮑ You will almost always be the one seeking him out for cuddle time. The only time he goes to you first is when he sees you need it. He doesn’t do it for himself.
⮑ Since he never does it for himself, it’s whatever position you wish to do. He will gladly do them. Though I don’t really see him being a little spoon in cuddle time. You’re always in his arms, not the other way around.
⮑ 6/10, his cuddles are actually pretty nice, but they could be better.
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// jiaoqiu⌇˚.༄
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⮑ Oh boy… the sly fox himself, Jiaoqiu. Oh this man is definitely a cuddler once in an established relationship, and it’s a whole other field than what we’ve already discussed. Mating instincts + his need to constantly tease you and mess with you…
⮑ Now does it say anywhere in their lore how they find partners/mates? Not at all. But picking and choosing from what they do say about foxians and what I know about foxes in general this is a headcanon ofc, they’re territorial on those they love, and they love to scent their partners. And I can totally see Jiaoqiu constantly touching his partner, nuzzling at their neck…
⮑ And did I mention he loves teasing? I feel like that’s obvious. Yeah, being his partner doesn’t protect you. He can literally hear your hearts reaction to whatever he does. And he isn’t afraid to call it out. He knows what affects you more and what doesn’t, how to get his way, how to make you flustered. Aish…
⮑ He’s 50/50 on pda. He doesn’t entirely mind it, but he does prefer to keep you to himself. He will hold your hand, wrap his arm around your waist, pull you around with his tail, little things like that. Though after he goes blind he does tend to link his arm in yours when you both are out. Spoilers, it’s not just because it makes navigation easier. Oh, and remember how I said he loves teasing? Yeah he’s not above that in public. It’s subtle, but it’s there. He uses his tail to do it fight me.
⮑ While he can be prideful, I don’t think he’s ashamed of going to you if he wants cuddles or touches. Sometimes, he won’t even ask, if he wants it he will get it. That being said… he’s very busy working for Feixiao, so he can’t always do so. The reason I’m leaning towards balanced is because of that, you may have to hunt him down sometimes. But if he can, he’ll take it.
⮑ Anything. Literally anything. Though I do thing he’d prefer to be the one holding you, he will be glad to just have your touch in general. His favorite positions would probably either be you laying on top of him or sitting on his lap.
⮑ 8.5/10, I’m reducing a .5 bc this mf really loves teasing…
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// moze⌇˚.༄
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⮑ This beautiful traumatized emotionally locked up boy. He’s never even thought of it before. No like genuinely… He doesn’t like to process his emotions, especially something so deep. Do you really think those at Sanctus Medicius really ever gave him positive touch?
⮑ I highly doubt he grew up with affection, let alone touch. And then later on, I don’t think he ever cared for it. And to add on, I’m sure he whole heartedly believes he does not deserve it. He’s not a good person. And why would he let someone get so close with how dangerous he is? It was easier for him to not think about it, so he didn’t. He never thought about cuddling any potential partner. Until you came along that is.
⮑ He really struggled allowing you to touch him at first. He would tolerate it, stiffen up, waiting for the pain that usually followed. The first time you hugged him he was shocked. He couldn’t run away like normal, all he could do was take it. In time he got used to it, and slowly realized why it was ever considered a comforting act in the first place. Don’t get me started on his habit to disappear.
⮑ Definitely not. Nope. Never. I personally don’t think pda would be something he’d like even if he wasn’t traumatized. It’s not his thing. But especially because of who he is now. I’m so sorry to anyone’s hearts who broke on this one.
⮑ You’ll always have to be the one initiating it. He’s prideful, and won’t admit when he needs a hug, or if he wants to hold you. And he definitely will not admit he wants to be held. You’ll always have to be the one to initiate it. The closest he will get to it, is after a particularly harsh mission (like the wardance), he will have this look in his eyes, a plea to him.
⮑ He doesn’t like to be vulnerable, he doesn’t like feeling trapped. It’s extremely rare for him to feel comfortable being in any position like that. He’s also used to being a protector, he’d want to be one for you as well. His favorite position is probably spooning, him as the big spoon ofc.
⮑ 4/10, he is comfortable to cuddle but it’s hard to get him to, and he’s got a lot of baggage to unpack.
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// feixiao⌇˚.༄
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⮑ Another foxian, but she is interestingly very different than Jiaoqiu. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still territorial and playful. But she follows her heart more than anything. And yes, she loves cuddling you.
⮑ Feixiao isn’t afraid of touch, she’s fully aware the harm it can cause, but she’s also aware the comfort it can bring. She doesn’t show this side though for safety reasons. But it’s never something she’s had issues with. Her foxian instincts make it stronger ofc. And if she has a partner, she genuinely loves it.
⮑ Pda in itself is something she doesn’t mind. She can watch others do it and have no issue, and fundamentally she wouldn’t mind. However… she is the general of yaoqing, the Merlin’s claw, it’s not safe for her to do so. It’s not safe for either of you, she wouldn’t dare risk your life.
⮑ I honestly believe she’d go to you a lot. Small touches, lingering, like her gaze. When you’re home and can settle in, she will cuddle you without you even needing to ask. However, she is super busy. So getting time with her in the first place is hard. You do have to seek her out still, but she doesn’t mind.
⮑ Shes pretty flexible when it comes to you wanting to be big or little spoon. She trusts you, and she enjoys both. Usually though, you both tangled into one another is enough for her. She likes laying where you’re both facing each other too. She likes looking you in the eyes.
⮑ 9/10, if she had more time she’d get a 10/10 tbh.
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writerasss · 5 months ago
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DARAKARAK and TROPES
In Vedic astrology, the Darakarak planet (the one with the lowest degree in your chart, excluding Rahu and Ketu) represents your spouse and the dynamics of your romantic relationships. Each Darakarak brings a unique "trope" or theme to how love and marriage play out. Here’s how different planets as Darakarak relate to popular romance tropes:
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Sun as Darakarak: Enemies to Lovers
Traits: The Sun symbolizes ego, pride, leadership, and individuality. With Sun as your Darakarak, relationships often involve power dynamics, mutual respect, and growth through overcoming initial clashes.
Trope:
Your relationship may start with conflicts, competition, or a sense of rivalry (classic enemies-to-lovers energy). Over time, both individuals learn to admire each other’s strengths.
There’s often a journey of healing egos and finding harmony.
Examples: "You started as my rival, but now you’re the person I trust the most."
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Mercury as Darakarak: Friends to Lovers
Traits: Mercury signifies communication, intellect, and playfulness. It fosters bonds built on mutual understanding, curiosity, and fun.
Trope:
The relationship may begin as a close friendship where trust and laughter dominate. Eventually, deeper feelings emerge as you both realize the connection goes beyond platonic.
Expect witty banter, inside jokes, and shared intellectual pursuits.
Examples: "I didn’t realize I was in love until I started missing your voice at the end of every conversation."
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Venus as Darakarak: Fated Soulmates or Star-Crossed Lovers
Traits: Venus governs love, beauty, and romance, making this Darakarak deeply tied to themes of passion, devotion, and harmony.
Trope:
Love feels otherworldly or destined, often with a magnetic pull. There could be external obstacles (e.g., family, society) that test the bond, leading to the "star-crossed lovers" vibe.
The connection is filled with luxury, art, and sensuality, emphasizing romance and emotional fulfillment.
Examples: "We were always meant to find each other, no matter how impossible it seemed."
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Moon as Darakarak: Comfort and Healing Love
Traits: The Moon represents emotions, nurturing, and intuition. With Moon as your Darakarak, relationships are about emotional safety and mutual care.
Trope:
A "healing love" that feels like home. You may meet during a vulnerable phase, helping each other grow emotionally and find solace in the connection.
It’s the ultimate "you complete me" dynamic.
Examples: "You’re the calm in my storm, and I’ll always come back to you."
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Mars as Darakarak: Passionate Opposites or Love-Hate
Traits: Mars symbolizes energy, drive, and passion. Relationships often involve intensity, physical attraction, and a fiery dynamic.
Trope:
A fiery, love-hate connection. You might clash over strong opinions or desires, but the chemistry is undeniable. Passion fuels the relationship, whether through fights or love.
Examples: "We argue like fire and ice, but we burn brighter together."
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Jupiter as Darakarak: Mentor-Protector Love
Traits: Jupiter is about wisdom, expansion, and guidance. Relationships are built on mutual respect, shared values, and growth.
Trope:
A nurturing relationship where one partner often plays the role of a mentor, guide, or protector. Love grows through shared goals, learning, and emotional maturity.
Examples: "You inspire me to be a better version of myself every day."
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Saturn as Darakarak: Slow Burn or Second Chances
Traits: Saturn represents discipline, patience, and karma. It brings lessons and maturity in love, often through delays or challenges.
Trope:
The relationship is a slow burn, taking time to develop trust and understanding. There might be obstacles, separations, or second chances involved, but the connection grows stronger with time.
Saturn’s karmic influence may make the relationship feel fated, with lessons to be learned together.
Examples: "It took time for us to find each other, but now I can’t imagine life without you."
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Rahu as Darakarak: Forbidden Love or Obsession
Traits: Rahu symbolizes unconventionality, obsession, and breaking norms. Relationships are intense, transformative, and often nontraditional.
Trope:
A "forbidden love" or "taboo" connection, where societal norms or personal fears are challenged. The relationship often pushes boundaries and teaches transformative lessons.
Examples: "You’re the one thing I was told to avoid, but I can’t stay away."
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cheshiresaf · 6 months ago
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Kai Monteago and Damon Maitsu being more similar than most think is genuinely so... There's no way he's not going to end up as Damon's support now.
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I genuinely thought Kai would be a naive extrovert who would talk to anybody, but in chapter 1 he's the complete opposite of that. He's extremely cautious and aware of the dangers of simply existing in the killing game that they're all in.
He stays in/near his room most of the time, only going out when necessary. When he loses his ring under the fridge in one of his FTEs, he asks a few people for help but doesnt ultimately try to persuade them because he knows that no matter how much that ring means to him (a lot), his survival and safety is more important and he ends up returning to his room.
But once hes there and he sees Damon, he allows himself to show his vulnerability and be on the damn near verge of tears, pleading for his help. He trusts Damon, of all people, more so than I can say he does with the rest. He allows them both to sleep in his room, and even his bed. He knows Damon won't do anything to him. And during the blackout, he immediately turned to Damon so they could pair up. Oh princess how I hate you.
And Damon on the other hand is just as distrustful of the rest, shown by his only ally having been Eva. The only difference between him and Kai is that Kai presents himself as more sociable, whereas Damon is far more reserved.
They're also both extremely lonely. Damon didn't have the time to make many friends as a child. Even his debate partners were mere acquaintances to him, because he was so focused on studying debate to make money for his family. Kai, on the other hand, lost all of his friends when he became an Influencer.
Kai believes his current 'fans' are his friends, because they're all he has left. They support him no matter the controversies he's been in, and he believes that's their way of expressing their care for him. But, in reality, it's a parasocial relationship. After all, he's just another influencer to them, and he never bothers and even dislikes receiving private messages.
Damon with his superiority complex, and Kai with his inferiority. Their views on the world are warped to appease their own egos and conscience, and I don't know if they're doomed because of it or not
TLDR: Kai and Damon share similar struggles and Kai is going to be one of the only people that Damon will first grow to 'depend' on
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