#that was my dad and i shouldve gotten more time with him. i Shouldve.

[orcelito]

Me currently out of work and not looking for a job rn bc grief shit But knowing my tax return should hit in the next week (which will let me last like 3 months comfortably) and I'll have half of two life insurance payouts bc of my dad dying Probably within the next month or two (Maybe more, depending) so like I got money on the way, I Do, but I didn't work as much as I was expecting for my last paycheck so I'll be cutting it a little close for rent and such until the payouts hit so I'm like. :] cutting it close here man :] give me my money please :]

[shreddiman]

OHHH!! yall aint ready for this!

I WROTE A ONE-SHOT >:D

Care

Sebastian x M!Reader

!conext¡ the skull mines are my enemy and i wrote this based off that! this is my first real one-shot, so id love any feed back! ENJOY <3

---------------------------------------------

I woke to the white light of Harvey's Clinic. Worried murmurs were muffled from outside the room as my eyes adjusted to the blinding light.

I knew what happened, and though I was covered in bandages the only thing hurting was my ego. Shame and embarrassment suffocated me, and it only got worse when Harvey walked into the room, Maru at his side.

My face paled at that and I kept my head down as I stared at my lap. I was about to get lectured, again, and in front of her no less.

And for the record, no. I dont have a crush on her. Even her dad had assumed it, giving me the old fashion "stay away from my daughter" threat talk. I was tempted to tell the man I was gay, but when gossiping to Maru about her dads many issues, she was thankful i hadnt.

adding that to the list. . .

"Y/N! oh thank goodness you are awake, it took you longer this time round. You werent holding out on me now, were you?"

Maru gave a look as I glanced up, my silence caused a flicker of frustration across her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. My mouth formed a thin line as I looked back down at my lap.

"Hm, 'This time around'? What do you mean by that Harvey?" Her voice was sweet, but I can tell without looking there was a bitterness in her tone. All those times I bumped into Sebastian, Robin.. hell maybe even Demetrius, her father, and lied to them about my state of health? Well the cats of the bag now.

"Oh you dont know? This kids a wreck! Goes out to the mines, comes back half dead," Harvey turns to me, a stern look on his face that I catch a glimpse of as he sits down on his stool.

"Listen kiddo, I dont know what Im going to do with you. You really gotta be more careful. Let me do one last check and then Ill send you on your way, alright?" He bent down a bit to catch my eye, I reluctantly nodded and laid back to allow the doctor to do his thing.

-

It was raining, and it only dampened my mood. I was aching all over, the pain medication Harvey had give me for the time being a weight in my hand as I shoved them into my pocket.

It was still early, and with so much time in the day it felt useless to go home and rest.

The walk to the beach was short, my mind elsewhere as my body moved on basically auto pilot.

The change from wet sand to slippery wood is what caught my attention, and I nearly missed the figure standing at the end of the dock. Sebastian was there, hair damp and flat as his cloths looked darker than usual from the rain. He mustve been out there for awhile.

Thinking about it, one of the first days I had moved here, I found him sitting in nearly the same spot. He talked about how weirdly calming it was, even in the unforgiving downpour. At first, I had laughed at the thought. Being cold and alone in the rain? I couldnt see how thatd bring comfort at all.

Yet, here I was.

I hadnt even said anything, approaching his side as I sat down on the wet wood. I felt his eyes on me, but the feeling grew more intense as I suddenly felt my arm being tugged. I whipped my head toward him in surprise, seeing his concerned expression as he examined my wounds. I felt my embarrassment return.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, looking up from my bandages, that were starting to fall apart from the rain, and at me. I wanted to look away from his gaze, feeling shameful but the stern look he gave made me feel like a kid who had gotten caught.

"..Mines. I wasnt as careful as I shouldve been." I say, blankly. I doubt that no matter how sorry I was, he'd be off the wall upset that I had lied to him. I just didnt want anyone to worry about me, I didnt want to think about how difficult it would be to explain the concept of this stupid game I was playing with life.

He dropped my arm, a look of slight betrayal on his face. Taking a deep breath he slumped down beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. Just like his sister, heh.

There was silence for awhile, the rain filling in the gaps of unspoken words. I knew Sebastian wanted to be angry with me, maybe he felt since I was physically injured he'd spare my feelings.

"I wish you wouldve told me, how dangerous it was."

Spoke too soon.

"I know, Im sorry. Your sister gave me the dirtiest of looks when she saw me at Harvey's." I gave a weak chuckle, even with the gray sky's I had hopped to lighten the situation, if only a little.

The lack of reply made me feel uncomfortable, so I continued to ramble on,

"I didnt want people worrying over me. I know thats terrible to say, and impossible to wish for- we're humans, it's natural to worry, to"

I paused, almost as if my own words were surprising me.

"to... care."

I held my arms out in front of me, seeing the damage done beneath the bloodied bandages. The image before me getting blurry as my eyes filled with tears. I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasnt sure I trusted my voice.

"I didnt think.. people cared about me that way. Hell I, I think Im afraid of it. Of people caring. Maybe, I dont deserve it,?" I basically whispered my confession, my shame coming back to hit me 10x harder when I saw Sebastian stand.

This was it, this was the crushing reality I had been waiting for. I wouldnt shut up, and now I made him uncomfortable. Maybe I can understand why Shane prefers his drunken'd state.

All that doubt washed away as Sebastians hand came into view.

"Cmon, lets get out of the rain. Youre starting to shiver."

I was shocked, but obeyed regardless. Taking his hand he pulled me up, wrapping his arm around me to hold me close. I felt the color return to my face, he was out in the rain for as long as me, if not longer and he still radiated off heat like he was a mini heater.

It wasnt long till we reached his house and walked down to his room.

"Stay there."

He stopped me outside his door. Before I could ask why, a clean pair of cloths was presented in front of me, "Bathrooms upstairs to the left, past the kitchen. Change into those and come back when youre done."

I stared at him in disbelief. I wanted to ask so many questions, but all I could muster was a soft,

"Why?"

He stared for a moment, a soft smile stretching across his face as he placed a hand on top of my head.

"Because I care."

---------------------------------------------

aggressively exists, vibrates, kicks legs!!

SO, did you enjoy it :)? im lowkey very happy with it but ngl i barely do this good at writing so dont expect a part two 💀

(unless you ask nicely..maybe)

ANYWAY THANKS BYE LOVE YOU MWAH

[lilicohirukoma]

Dead Meat Horror Awards liveblog cuz why not

- fuck yeah production budget, love the ghostface intro

- masters of scare-monies lmaooo

- fr the movies this year were sooo good and agreed horror needs more recognition

- i am fucking this cheeseburger UP Chef Slowik would be proud

- yay for the montage, i got lots of movie recs with it last year

- which also means nay for not naming the movies in the montage like they did last year

- but yeah hoping for at least one award for Black Phone, The Menu and Orphan (Nope and X too)

- MICK FOLEY FUCK YEAAAHHH

- damn he lost an ear????

- I don't understand a lot abt stunts so no strong opinions, shout out to all nominees

- admitting to a horror sin: I don't like Scream

- YESSSSS I GOT ONE RIGHTTT

- we are only on the second category and I finished my food 😔 shouldve listened to the guide and gotten some popcorn

- WHAT HAPPENS IN MEN? 😟

- again idk a lot abt digital effects so shout out to all the nominess

- shout out to all the nominees in general it's just that I have stronger opinions on other categories

- I want to watch Werewolf by Night now

- Yup Nope deserved it, didn't consider Gordy as a digital effect so makes sense in hindsight

- JASON AND TOM 💕

- Girl I hauled ass downstairs and back to put away my empty plate. My roommates probably thought I was getting chased by a demon

- I almost voted for X bc Dutch people were involved lol

- Understandable win, congrats Mad God

- YEESSSSSSS DEVON!!!!! CHUCKY NATION REPRESENT!!!!!!

- Are these awards only for movies? If no why no Chucky noms?

- Art the Clown-Bolton

- Is that Pete Davidson?

- Love The Menu but their kills were a bit meh

- But yeah Jeremy vs Star Lasso for me

- DAVE GROHL??? I need to watch Studio 666 now

- Deserved win

- THEY GOT MATTHEW LILLARD????

- Love me a crazy cult leader, wouldn't mind seeing Slowik win

- ESTHER PLS I WANT ESTHER TO WIN

- I voted for Pearl bc she is more likely to win (and would deserve the win) but god please Esther

- Grabber was slay too but not the best of the year imo

- Mia Goth's voice takes me out every time it's so unexpected

- Girl what........ what..... seriously?

- No shade to everyone involved w Art but... what the fuck really?

- Put me in the In Memoriam I'm pissed

- Didn't know some of these people died, for all: Rest in Peace/May their memory be a blessing

- LESLIE JORDAN I MISS YOU SO MUCH

- LANCE REDDING WAS PAPA LEGBA?? I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

- when are we getting a podcast episode on AHS

- oh damn this category is getting tough already

- yeah I'm okay with anyone winning good job y'all

- oh damn we are already 45 minutes in

- congrats Rory

- Ok y'all can make it right give it to Mia

- Barbara Krampton ❤️

- Hearing the word Creepypasta in 2023 snatched my soul out of my body I need a moment

- Oooo I'm gonna have to watch Sissy

- I love Regina Hall so might have to watch Master too

- GET THIS CLOWN OFF MY SCREEN IM STILL MAD AT HIM

- Mia or Amber OR ELSE /j

- I love Keke tho!!

- YESSSS MIA YOURE A STAR

- I am SO curious to see what Jordan Peele is going to do next

- Hope it goes to Ti West tho

- Okay yeah Jordan deserves it too

- We already got this horror needs to be appreciated speech

- Idk of I like this long list of nominees, I find myself losing interest a lot and that is a disservice to the nominees

- Istg if it's Halloween Ends-

- Aren't all of these movies American? Why are they now suddenly mentioning nationalities?

- But yeah Orphan isn't going to win but I want it to

- Pearl's dad deserved better

- Chad's Revenge looks really fun I'm gonna have to watch this one too

- Not Scream Not Scream Not Scream

- ALL THESE MOVIES ARE AMERICAN STOP SAYING AMERICAN FILM

- Oh he did actually stop. My power 💅

- Pearl is just that girl!!

- Love Mike Flanagan 💜

- I hope the Black Phone wins, this movie had me in awe in the cinema

- THE DIRECTOR FOR BODIES IS DUTCH??? NEVERMIND BODIES BODIES BODIES SWEEP

- Yeah idk Fresh just doesn't interest me

- THE MENU FUCK YEAHHH

- Considering Nope won fan I hope it won't win

- DUTCH?? Alright I'll watch Speak No Evil

- Are you.... for real?? Way to end the ceremony on a low note

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

I think that it’s about time Kohga and Sooga have a genuine heart to heart and discuss what their relationship really is, and to let Sooga finally properly discuss how he feels and his inferiority complex because poor baby

Oh we feel like feelings tonight? Aight, let’s fucking do it bitch. Some emotions and shit. 

Kohga realized something, just now, as he sat in his room. He was busy planning his stuff for the month ahead, when he saw his calendar. He had been dating Sooga for...a long time. The longest he had ever dated ANYONE actually. The realiztion shouldve been nothing, but it did in fact, hit him like a ton of bricks. Kohga put his planner down, and peeked his head through the little window of his room. Made from one way glass, it made it easy for Kohga to peer out without being seen. And of course, there was Sooga, ever dutiful by guarding his door. Kohga grumbled, scratching his head as if something was crawling on him. Jeez, why did this mess him up so badly? So what if they had been dating for so long? So what if he sat there, looking at Sooga, nearly swooning over him? It didn’t mean anything. Right?

“Sooga, I brought Master Kohga his snacks.”

Kohga looked outside, just in time to see Sooga talking with a Blademaster. He made the motion to come in, only to be stopped by Sooga.

“You may leave it with me. Only I am to enter his quarters.”

“For SOME reason.”

Sooga cocked his head as he was handed the plate of fruit.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. You’re so tight with Master Kohga, but I don’t get it. Why you? You’re just his lackey.”

“I...mean something to him-”

“Like hell you do. You’re just some plaything, we all know it. He’s only telling you otherwise to get to your ass. Face it Sooga, a guy like you can’t REALLY be with him. Sooner you face it, the less it’s gonna hurt.”

“You speak lies.”

“If you say so. But if one day you find him in the arms of another, don’t act surprised. Kohga could have any man in Hyrule. Why would he pick someone so lowly as you?”

The blade master turned, and walked off. Sooga could tell he knew him personally, hence why his shoulders looked so stiff. They were true words spoken by someone he had considered at least a friend at some point in time. Kohga could only imagine the pain in his chest. He watched as Sooga sighed, and cleared his throat.

“Master Kohga, may I come in? I brought you your dinner.”

“...Yeah. Come in, Sooga.”

Sooga entered the room, and closed the door behind him, handing him his plate. He was about to turn and leave, when Kohga reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Actually...stay with me a second. And lock the door.”

“Ah. In the mood tonight, I take it.”

Sooga obeyed, and Kohga scoffed.

“Well geez, don’t sound disappointed if I was. But no, I don’t feel like railing you tonight. I just wanna talk.”

Kohga patted his bed, and Sooga obeyed, sitting down on his knees. Kohga took a deep breath, not sure just why he was doing this. This was so stupid.

“So...we’ve...been together. For a while.”

“Quite.”

“Well...you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

“That’s nice.”

Sooga was distracted. The other’s words ran deep within him, and Kohga hated how much he cared about it. Kohga held onto his hands, rubbing his palms with his thumbs.

“I just...want you to know I’m serious about us. Really I am.”

No words. He didn’t believe him. Kohga got up, and grabbed a candle from his pile of crap. He lit it, and set it right between them.

“And...I can prove it. I’m going to prove to you that this is important to me. YOU are important to me. Take off your mask for me.”

Sooga hesitated. It was mandatory that Kohga sees everyone’s face at least once to enter the clan, but it was the same as being completely nude in front of a crowd. He obeyed, though he clearly didnt want to. He un did his straps, and fully took off his mask. Deep, brown eyes, high cheekbones, and a small bit of hair right on his chin. He was a very, very handsome man. His eyes looked him over, no longer ashamed, but full of curiosity.

“I...do not understand what this is for.”

Kohga sighed, in total disbelief that he was going to do this. He met his eyes, determined to prove himself to him.

“I’m gonna kiss you. I’m gonna kiss you with my mask off.”

Kohga was about to take it off, when suddenly Sooga leapt forward, putting his palm on his mask. Had it not been for the candle, he’d be damn sure Sooga would’ve pinned him down to the damn floor.

“M-master Kohga! No! I’m n-not allowed to see your face! No one is! I insist you can’t! I’m not worthy of-”

“SHUT UP!!”

Kohga swatted his hand away, growling at the surprised looking man.

“I love you! I love you so much, it’s stupid! You ARE worthy of me! It’s why I picked you! You’re handsome and stupid and nice and loyal, and I’m so damn in love with you!! Why do you ALWAYS think you aren’t good enough for me?!”

Sooga remained silent. His gaze removed itself from his master, to his knees, which he was gripping very tightly.

“I...I was told by my father, at a young age, that I was only worth a blade. When I refused my hand in marriage to a noble woman, he called me useless. He told me no one would truly have love in their heart for me. After months of him beating that point into me, I’ve come to accept that as truth. I ran away at a young age, but it did nothing to soothe my heart. I was always never enough. A failure as an only son. A mistake of my mother’s womb. I love you Master Kohga. And because of that, I deem myself unworthy of you.”

Shit. Shit shit shit. Major daddy issue territory. Kohga had a damn good relationship with his dad, so he couldn’t relate. But Sooga was clearly hurting. He was clearly under the impression that his dad’s words were law. Kohga sighed, reaching over to hold onto his shaking hands.

“Sooga...I can’t fully understand your situation. But I do understand that I know none of that is true. I love you, so much. I can’t live without you. Please. PLEASE let me prove it to you. By showing you something I’ve never shown anyone else. If you don’t want it, if you don’t think this’ll work, I won’t. But I’m serious about you. And you know I’m not serious about anything.”

Sooga hesitated. He stilled his breath, clearly tempted to cry, before he lifted his head up, and nod.

“I...I would honor this. If you promise it is not out of pity, but out of genuine respect and love for me.”

Kohga nodded. For a moment, they understood one another. Their hearts were one. And all that mushy gushy bullshit. Kohga un did the straps to the mask, and very, ever so slowly, he peeled his mask away. He met Sooga’s eyes, and he nearly wanted to laugh. Sooga was staring at him so bugged eyed, absolutely destroyed in blush. Kohga chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

“So...feedback here, I’d love it.”

“You...are more beautiful than I ever could’ve imagined. I...never knew a face could be so...perfect.”

Kohga’s face was so soft, so smooth looking. A cute nose, cute cheeks, full lips, and his eyes. One held the calmness and beauty of the sea, the other held the deep, richness of the earth. It was a face that Sooga couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams. It was even more stunning when he grinned. His teeth were stunning, his cheeks were full, it radiated more beauty than the sun.

“Ha! You’re so full of it, Sooga. Lovesick puppy, you. You like my face so much, kiss it.”

“I’m….allowed to do that?”

“If anything, it’s an order.”

They chuckled for a moment, completely comfortable with one another. That was when Sooga carefully cupped his cheek in his hand, and leaned in for a kiss. It was soft, smooth, and very, very plentiful. Kohga had no idea how long he kissed him for, but he was certain it was quite a while, given how cold his snacks seemed to have gotten. Sooga parted the kiss after a while, eyes opening up in complete wonder.

“I...I never knew I could kiss an angel.”

“An angel who loves you. Very, very much. An angel who thinks you’re worth everything.”

“Even if I don’t find myself the same way?”

“Even then. Long as you know I do, that’s all that matters.”

Kohga put his bare forehead right onto Sooga’s, and for a moment, they just stared into each other’s eyes. It was so bullshit romantic, all that was missing was a goddamn piano in the background.

“Master Kohga?”

“Yeah?”

“May...may we stay like this? Just tonight? I never want to forget your face, even till we become dust.”

“Yeah. Just for tonight, we won’t have masks. Just for tonight, we’re...vulnerable. The both of us.”

“You’re a saint, Kohga.”

“I try.”

Kohga couldn’t believe it. He confessed his love for Sooga, and, to his surprise,

He didn't regret it, not for a second.

(also pls note these are headcanon looks, not canon. It’s a blend of stuff tbh)

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[prissypickle]

Tw: Verbal abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, drinking

Last night my my mom was drunk. We got in a fight and said some pretty awful things to me. I couldnt find nemo, our sweet fur noodle so I had my mom help me. I started to panic 30 minutes into looking for him terrified that he may have gotten out. Our ferret Jasper got out on Christmas day and it was the scariest thing ever. We luckily got him back though he ran 3 blocks. So whenever I try to find my ferrets I panic after a certain amount of time. I asked if my mom could help me and she did lifted the couch found 3, Nermal, Simba and Jasper. I looked for him for an hour and then I started crying and my mom helped me more. I grabbed a squeeky toy and looked for him, (squeeky toys sound like kits in distress and they usually Immediately come to it) so I freaked out more after when I couldn’t find him. Then my mom starts saying things to me

“Youre a disappointment”

“You are disgusting”

“I resent giving birth to you”

“You shouldve died when you had your suicide attempt”

“All you do is lie to me,”

These are the worst things someone has ever said to me. I immediately wanted to hurt myself, because I was just so upset about it.

I spent 30 minutes looking for something sharp, anything. And once I found something hell broke loose. I held my sharps in my hand for another 30 minutes while I talked to the crisis like and they disconnected me twice. So I ended up relapsing.

I know its not the end of the world that I relapsed its more so the verbal abuse that is just hurting me. It made me want to try to kms again. I still feel paralyzed by it. I just want to check myself in the psych unit and tell them I dont want visitors.

Verbal abuse is horrible

Im so so sorry it you are being verbally abused

My dad told me not to let it effect me, and instead of dismissing my thoughts he said dont let that effect me. Its not true.

If you are being verbally abused

Know its not your fault and that you are still amazing.

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[obxparadiseonearth]

Part 5: the truth will set you free

Sitting there on your moms couch you tell Pope and Kiara about your past relationship with Rafe.

“It started out good. Living the kook life. Country club, nice dates, we went out in our best all the time. I thought he cared for me and maybe he did for a little while.”

You sit on the kitchen counter and take a swig from a beer then continue. “Rafe was hot. Muscular, nice hair but he was also sweet and loving and soft from time to time. It was nice. Then a few months in he changed. Got dark on me started to lose weight, acting different, kind of mad when I asked simple yes or no questions. One night we went to a huge kook party. I hadn’t wanted to go I was fine making out and fooling around in his room. But he insisted we go, everyone would be there. I was 16. He was 17. We rolled up to this nice house and I noticed him pull out a baggie of white powder. Before we reached the door I stopped him.”

You pause taking another drink when you hear pope mumble the coke. You nodded. “He had been doing it for some time and apparently pushing it for his dealer. Which is why he had bailed on me so much. I tried to reason with him and make him stop but he wouldn’t. I had tried it once or twice with him. It was a ride let me tell you. I didn’t quite like it. But I didn’t do it often like he was apparently. I hadn’t noticed it was THAT bad but it was. So I stopped him I was like really Rafe I thought we were here to have fun? He shrugged and said well yeah that’s what this is for don’t be so uptight. I was going to leave but he grabbed me told me to stay with him. So I did. I did a bump that night on top of having several beers and I was feeling it. Rafe and I had gotten hot and heavy and were going upstairs to someone’s room when I started to feel sick. He rolled his eyes as I made my way to the bathroom. I barley found it.”

Your eyes are kind of glossed over as you’re not with them anymore. You’re reliving this moment. “I finally get to the bathroom and I hurl. Everywhere. Sara holds my hair back, I have no idea where she came from but I was grateful, and offers to take me home when Rafe comes back and says no he’s got me. I can barley walk and Rafe laid me on some bed and covered me up. Said he’d be back had to go push the rest to lay here and get some rest. Hours I assume passed and I was out cold when I felt someone get in bed. I thought it was Rafe. I was wrong. They hovered over me and pulled my skirt down. Taking my underwear with it. “ Kiaras eyes are watering and Pope is staring at the floor.

“I’m not going to continue you can draw the line. I pushed him off and I said no but that got me no where. I thought it was Rafe. I got up crying. It hurt. It was my first time. There was a little blood and my thighs were bruised. I don’t know who did it. But I thought it was Rafe. I pulled my skirt on and walked home. Rafe called me several times and I didn’t answer. I showered when I got home. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I couldn’t get the feeling of being clean. The next day I didn’t leave my room and Rafe came by. I was so angry. I screamed at him and pushed him and he looked so confused. I said you raped me??? How could you do this? Tears had fallen and he looked at me and I shit you not he goes you had sex with someone else?”

You looked up and saw that JJ had entered the room. Shock and anger in his presence but no expression on his face. You locked eyes with him. Continuing. “He was more upset that someone had sex with me first. And that I had to be lying because I was high and drunk and mad he wouldn’t leave with me. I was mad because had he been there it wouldn’t have been an issue. I was willing to have sex with him. But not like that.” You pause and look at the room. “That’s not why I left. He had told his dad I had gotten into some trouble. Been messing with a drug dealer and I needed help. His dad paid my dad to leave the island. And to take me with him. He had known my mom and him were divorcing, I also think it had to do with the treasure big John was looking for. My dad and him were close forever and when my dad left he never talked to big John again.

When he found out he was lost at sea and that he was sick he told me his biggest regret was doing whatever the Cameron’s told him to do and he shouldve stayed for big John. He should’ve stayed to help his baby girl. To fix shit with my mom. To tell them that the Cameron’s were bad. When he died and I had to come back John B went missing shortly after. I know the Cameron’s are behind all of it.”

They all stared at you as you got up and threw the beer in the trash. It had started to have a vinegary taste to it in your mouth from trudging up so much old memories and the thought of your dad having regrets sat wrong with you. “That’s the story.” You walked back out onto the beach and plopped down. 1 by one they all followed you.

Kiara sat down next to you and held your hand. “I’m sorry.” You nodded. “Me too. You’re the only girl I get along with on this island now that Sara is gone.” She one arm hugged you. Pope sat next to her and JJ just stood there. “So what’s the plan?” Pope said and you stared off into the water. “The plan? Get out from under rafes thumb and have a mind of my own. Tell the world what the Cameron’s are up too and...” you stand up looking at all of them, “find John b and Sara and bring them home.”

[zombeamik]

OKAY LIVE REACTION TO RIKAS BACKSTORY DLC HERE WE GO

okay so spoilers again lol

okay so i thought when you played the scret ending 1? riaks backstory was free? e-e

HAHA NVM WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE time to go buy 330 hour glasses ANYWAYS

okay seriosuly thing for people who dont like Rika, for what she did. You should honestly play her backstory.. it really could clear some things up for you, and it may chnage your mind, just abit hopefully.

you shouldnt just say no to story, just because you don’t like her.

Of course, if you really dont want to read it fine, but it can probably really help.

Episode 1

this god lady sounds like Jaehee tbh SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH Mina is Rikas real name :3 How cute already liking this. WONT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE RETS OF IT THOUGH

Mina/Rika, they really didnt deserve what happened to them.

HOLY FCUK I HONESTLY THOUGHT MIKA WAS FUCKING RIKA BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND OKAY OR AM I GETTING TI MIXED UP?

okay gotta buy 330 hours glasses but THEN ILL CONTINUE MY REACTION

OKAY IM BACK TO REACT AND TO CRY OKAY COOL

the game didnt like me buying more hourglasses o it decided to messwith mu audio.

okay had to restart my phone THANKS ANOTHER SETBACK

Episode 2

okay so, i like Mika back here. BUT WHAT I SAW IN THE V ROUTE, thats not cool Mika. you were kinda okay? you were already a little manipulative to a three year old. “My little sister, should always have short hair” how about you shut up. Twins? All she ever wated was to be loved and not taken away from her “Twin”, Maybe thats why she cared so much for Saeran and Saeyoung before she ddi what she did. Mika no, no. You’re the one who put those awful things in Minas/Rikas mind ugh okay i go back to not liking her, that was very fast.

Okay grown up Rika/Mina, okay rika i like you when you arent doing ur creepy eyes. UGH honestly im so mad at Mika, honestly the fuck. CUTE PICTURES OF V AND RIKA YES okay i know, i like V and all but tbh they were cute together.

excuse me V you shouldve said THATS WHY I ADORE UR SUN BC THATS ALL SHE NEEDED TO HEAR, she didnt want to hear that you loved her because of her darkness.  She wnated someone to love her, or show her a tiny bit of warmth so she could find the light inside her. So, so far, Mika is the one who introducded her to this “darkness” SO UNLESS RIKAS BACKSTORY CAN GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT DISLIKE MIKA AND FORGIVE HER I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT.

Episode 3

THATS THE FIRST THING I OPEN UP TO? 

UR SO CREEPY, WHY DID GOD SEND YOU? THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOU

sorry what?

Mina, Serena

Im glad she went with Rika, I like Mina, but Rika ive gotten used to it. Maybe she’ll go back to Mina one day?

Oh. Okay i dont like Rika/Mina/Serena’s Mother. and the pastor, no wonder she started a cult, i mena look at his outfit. WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PASTOR ARE YOU

NO WONDER SHE STARTED A FUCKING CULT, YOU ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGSSSSSSSS

“NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS” how about you shut up, man,  Pastor my fucking ass, Devil worshipper is more fucking likely.

excuse me pastor, your voice in my ears IS FUCKING CREEPY DO YOU MIND

UR LIKE A PERVERT

“ your body has grown, is it satan?” HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE HER ALONE

yep, i fully understamd now why she created a cult. okay im only on 3 of 8 but still

EXCUSE ME LADY, YOUR DAUGHTER CLEARLY SAID NOT O GOING WITH THE PASTOR LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND DONT BE A RUDE BITCH

I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR HER FATHER?

WHY DID WE FIND MIKA IM SO CONFUSED

oh, her dads the head of the hospital, okay. all good.

YEAH YOU TELL HIM MIKA

YEAH THANK YOU NURSE KICK HIM OUT P[LEASE

WEEE THANKS NURSE

she just wnated to be free from hatred? 

BUT NOBODY WOULD ALLOW HER, THEY KEPT PUSHING HER FURTHER INTO THE DARKNESS

okay gone back to not liking Mika just abit

oh.

now i dont know?

Episode 4

THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR EITHER

Mika had cacner in her eyes.

Mika lived a while though, so her dad must have paid the bills.

MIKA LIED ABOUT THE PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADRESS THE FCUK

Did she really grow up at the orphange? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT

I was just feeling sad for her, but then she did that.

WAIT RIKA HONEY NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh.

so she made V blind because of that?

PUPPY

okay no, no new puppy then.

MS. HEAD OF THE RFA

no v, shes brainwashed him.

THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

No V you should focus on saeyoung because ive turned saeran into somebody i regret now.

Rika no.

you didnt have to shut everyone out, 

he asked you to leave?

Ugh im so confused?

WELL MIKA WAS RIGHT TEACHER THEY WERE BAD PARENTS

GROSS PASTOR PLEASE DONT SAY LITTLE LABM AROUND MINA, THATS CREEPY

Oh.

right yeah, she only separated saeran and saeyoung because of their parents.

Mika, why. 

she didnt have to lie about the orphanage, and then why you said you made Rika think it was all her fault, and then ugh

A FUCKING PUPPY 

WAIT SALLY

SHUT UP MOTHER, ITS A CUTE DOG AND WE BOTH LOVE IT

YEAH SALLY YOU GROWL AT HER

Oh.

I KNEW IT

the pastor is a creep, a pervert, child molester

EXCUSE ME MOTHER?

THATS THE FUCKING RITUAL TO GET SATAN OUT OF HER? 

EXCUSE ME THAT IS FUCKING ILLEGAL PASTOR OR NOT

dont fucking freak out, you told her to leave because you didnt want sally in the house and now your like THE FUCK YOU GOING SERENA HUH? ugh

Rika no, that isnt the right choice.

EXCUS ME MIKA DIED?

THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS THERE WHEN RIKA WAS OLDER

DID MIKA LIE ABOUT DYING?

SALLY UR SO CUTE

oh bad momesnt to mention sally being cute.

listen, all rika every wanted was to love someone.

defo a cult, Believer’s? This some sort of god cult.

WAIT NO SALLY DONT CRY

oh she was 16.

oh dear.

well that was a roller coaster

Episode 5

great she started working a church, and became a nun. even more fantastic

OH SWEET HER NAME IS FINALLY RIKA

I do like the names Mina and Serena but still Rika.

well wjat she thought she was doing was okay. Not wanting anyone to be abandoned?

she just uh turned it into something alot bigger than helping out at a church

She only treated people the way she did was because she didnt know how loving parents acted, so what she thought she was doing was right to her, since she didnt know anything else.

okay so shes 18.

and she wnated to shoe people her light instesd fo her darkness

AN THEN SHE MEETS V

OH THE CLOUD PHOTO, man when she looked at it she said Mother, because thats the first thing that came to mind. 

SHE JUST WNATED TO BE A SUN BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW

SAEYOUNG

WHY DOES TINY SAEYOUNG SOUND LIKE BIG SAEYOUNG

oh

yeah she thought that of she didnt protect saeyoung he’d rot just like Mika.

heh

Oh.

she could see her and mIka in him so she grew attached

she onyl wanted to do good

Rika the Angel but she thought of herself as Rika the Devil ok

Episode 6

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUNG

okay so she didnt want yoosung to find out about her darkness

Rika honey, its okay. he still would ahve loved you.

Okay so Oh got it okay.

Yoosung is the son of rikas mothers sister,

SHE WAS SO WORRIED HE’D BE RUINED IF HE STAYED CLOSE

RIKA NO DONT OUT YOURSELF DOWN

YOU’RE EQUAL TO YOOSUNG D:

REUSING PHOTOS ARENT YOU CHERITZ OK

BUT HYE V

she couldnt feel anything? well V is both light and dark rika.

man v still doesnt know rikas real name BUT WE DOOOOO

episode 7

Man v ur kinda smooth with words but at the same time like you just met.

V MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND

okay so she modelled for V and then when she was doing that they didnt talk much? man V atleast tell her she did good. how rude.

ZENNNN

v the fuck you didnt even say goodbye, just IM GONNA GO GRAB MY CAMERA AND THEN FCUKING WALK OFF

V no.

you didnt even compliment her or anything, you just said heres lets take pictures but we aint gonna talk and thn when your done, i aint gonna say you did well or anything like that.

V you kinda an asshole.

NO SALLY

okay shes fine.

V was just curious about me because im not like the rest”

kinda sounds like it,

YES RIKA YOU DO DESERVE THE SUN HONEY

YOU ARE THE SUN I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS

oh so it was Mina that wanted to be loved.

well shes still a prt of you rika, so that measn you wanted to be loved aswell.

okay so she stopped visiting V

V came to visit her

make up your fuckingmind V

“Heathen Cult”

well yeah basically.

JUMIN

V WHAT THE FUCK

“ can you show me how dark you are?”

HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NO

SHE CLEARLYT SAID NO V

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING PUSH HER TO SHOW YOU

okay all good

she told V everything

and she scared she;ll end up like Mika.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANOTHER V AND RIKA PHOTO

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

WAIT HONEY DONT CRY

MINA YEEE

LAST EPISODE 

wow thats fast.

okay so saeyoung went abroad and then she stopped disagreeing when saeren was saved

then she met Jumin a year later, sweet.

HAPPY ENDING

WELL YOU HAVE ONE NOW RIKA UR HAPPY AND YEEE

okay so then she got her aparement

and then she dint know if things to turn to the worst or the best

well id say the worst but you did save alot of people.

you may have brainwashed them but they would ahve probably died without her help.

MIKA UR STILL ALIVE

UR BLIND THO

OH

YUP OKAY GOT IT

MIKA DIDNT TURST V SO RIKA WAS LIKE OK YEAH I DONT EITHER BC UR ALWAYSSSSSS RIGHT

right.

Mina believed her.

so she agreed.

SO CUTE

WHAT

MIKA NO

USE SAERAN AND YRUN HIM INTO A HACKER

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP MIKA

IM BACK TO NOT LIKING YOU

MINA 

YOU

YOU MANIPULATED MINA INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK

SHE TRUSTED AND YOU

AND YOU USED HER

“I must not use that boy. I must save him”

WELL THANK YOU RIKA

what kind of bullshit is that.

WELL YOU SHOULD DEFIENTLY TELL V BUT WHEN MIKA SAY NO YOU GOTTA AGREE BECAUSE MINA TRUSTS HER

EXCUS EME RIKA

MINA WAS THE LIGHT

mika is the dark

mika just please shut up.

okay she died. thats sad but like

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID

CUTE PHOTO OF RIKA YES

Thoughts

thst was um

one crazy ride

AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

so glad i read it.

even if you dont like rika at all

please do

its worth it.

as you can see my thoughts were jumbled in the actual live reaction

but it makes alot of sense kind aof?

im to lazy to write a review so thats the best you’re gonna get.

Its really good, to actually understand why Rika/Mina/Serena turned out the way she was.

i mena i already forgave her in the V ending

but even though she did those bad things, if someone just loved her and didnt feeed her with horrible views of the world, she was still a caring girl even though the darkness took a hold of her,

Im not glad of what happened to her, but if it didnt we would have never even met anyone. so as mucha s i hate to say it, im glad of what happened, and 100% glad we could help her through with it.

Okay, well that was fun.

[aetheriumwar]

long stupid suicidal vent about my abusive father

hehe :3 i love how my dad has made it insufferable to live here i love how he throws it in my face that he provides for me lol. like you’re such a fucking deadbeat that i had to buy my own christmas and birthday gifts. you’re such a fucking disgusting human being that i can’t eat at home anymore because you act like getting food for me is a big burden. i wish i’d been aborted lol i love how i had to use my savings money to buy food today i love how i can’t eat anything he buys because if i do he throws it up in my face i love how i have to send him gas money for the ONE thing he does for me because he throws that in my face i love how im going to stop eating so i dont waste money because i cant fucking live here anymore and god forbid i borrow $5 that i fucking pay him back as soon as possible. he’s the worst human being in the world lol. i love how im made to feel like shit for being mad at him for being the worst father alive. i love how i’m being blamed for every argument. newsflash im 17! im supposed to be angsty sometimes! im supposed to snap at my family sometimes! they dont even give me a chance to regret it because they immediately turn to abuse and guilt tripping and manipulation lol. i want to go to work i want to be at work all the time i’d work a million doubles if it meant i could go somewhere else at the end of the day i cant keep coming home to this house of misery lol i can’t keep doing this. there’s a kitchen full of food that im not allowed to eat without being made to feel like im leeching off of a man who couldn’t wear a fucking condom. shouldve gotten a fucking vasectomy if you didnt want kids hehe <3 but its cool ill pick up more hours i’ll come in on my off days since i have 2 provide for myself lol at this point i might as well start camping out in the backyard because before long he’ll start telling me that im ungrateful bc he lets me sleep in my room uwu guess i’ll buy a fucking tent wouldnt want him to have to pay my bills right! gues si should stop showering! im raising the water bill that he doesnt even pay! i’d better not turn a light on when i piss at 4am god forbid i bring up his electricity bill! i hate him i hate him i wish he’d die i’m done lol i didnt eat from 9am to 8pm today because i had to wait until i could buy food because the food he bought he made a huge fuss about lol at this point i’ll just fucking kill myself so he has one less mouth to feed lol im this close to calling 911 on myself because at least in the hospital he doesnt have t worry about me being hereor maybe i should just swallow my bottle of pills so no one has to worry about medical bills lol im a huge burden to everyone i get it lol okay i see! i get it!

also two can play at that game ill start bringing up the summer i gave them every dime i had so they could do fuck all with it. or the summer i babysat my time away to buy food for ppl i dont even know because nobody else was going to. or all the times ive let HIM borrow my fucking money. or every time i bring home food for everyone. or every time i cant buy myself lunch w/o getting something for everyone else and my $4 lunch turns into a $30 feast for the family. maybe ill jsut take back the gifts ive gotten him for fathers day since he’s not a fucking father to anyone in this house he’s just a bitch who pays the bills while his wife takes care of his 3 kids and deals with the trauma left over from years of abuse lol.on second thought nah killing myself is easier.

[cyl2-moved]

alright so i didn’t really agree with what tier lists were saying about certain fgo servants so i made my own one ! you’re welcome to disagree, of course, but this is what i think should make up the fgo five star tier list

S: makes any team better, 100% desirable, meta breaking

A: well built and capable of carrying a team

B: good team addition and plays well/good for one specific purpose

C: ok tier, they’re just fine tbh, deservant of 5 star status but on thin ice

D: straight up should’ve been a 4 star

EX: servants that i’ve heard of only in legend

*note: this is for the na server as of january 2019, i could honestly give less of a shit about jp

**note: berserkers gain a bit of fluidity because their one purpose is to kill and any zerk that can do that is good (< that’s all zerks btw)

***note: all 5 stars are worth levelling up, they’re all really good. don’t burn them please

****note: i don’t claim to know everything about fgo, this list isn’t the gospel

S TIER:

MERLIN (caster): ok y’all saw this one coming but basically merlin is fucking amazing. he can really fit on any team set up he wants to and he’s a prime example of what a good caster should be. i don’t think i need to explain this entry. moving on.

JEANNE D’ARC ALTER (avenger): jalter is probably the best buster based servant you can summon in the na server right now and was a complete powerhouse until merlin showed up. if you want a reliable servant that can do just about anything without fail i suggest her if you ever get lucky enough to summon her

FIRST HASSAN (assassin): normally gramps isn’t listed with these two, but if you’ve ever used him chances are you can atleast somewhat see where i’m coming from here. this man is a BEAST, his singularity track record should be proof of that (y’know, because he stole the show in a whole ass two of them). he can’t fit into any team like the first two but he can destroy like nobody’s fucking business. summon him if you get the chance

A TIER:

MIYAMOTO MUSASHI (saber): musashi is a saber focused in single target buster damage, and her skills and np allow her to go above with this focus. at the moment i’d say she’s probably the best saber available because her np, skills, and deck match so well. \

NERO BRIDE (saber): i forgot her and i’m only just now adding her in so whoops but basically she’s one of the only arts sabers that’s actually good and has a good and spammable np.

GILGAMESH (archer): he’s an anti army buster focus who has a noble phantasm that only six servants in the game so far aren’t weak to. he’s kind of a lancer pincushion but just don’t send him out into battles with lancers. there you go.

ISHTAR (archer): ishtar doesn’t have the same np effect as gil but other than that she’s a fairly good replacement for him, not to mention she has a slightly higher hp value than him

BRYNHILDR (lancer): brynhildr would probably be lower on this list if it weren’t for her sparse availability and trait that affects most male and some female servants in the game. she’s probably the best lancer in the game because of those two reasons, but all lancers are safe bets tbh

OZYMANDIAS (rider): ozymandias is amazing at spamming buster cards and has a particularly great np, great for boss battles. also he’s hot

QUETZALCOATL (rider): basically the same as ozy here except with a more specifically buster deck. also she’s hot

ZHUGE LIANG (caster): a lot of people categorize him with merlin and to those people i have to ask: have you ever played this game? waver comes close, but don’t act like people didn’t throw him to the side the exact moment merlin came out. open your eyes you absolute fools

XUANZANG SANZANG (caster): this one has a twinge of personal bias but seeing as she’s a caster but has the highest atk of all of my servants atm. also she’s hot, but she’s one of the only casters in the game right now that’s somewhat buster based and can make a buster brave chain which her np (which is kinda rare for casters). she can fit into really any team composition without too much issue and has a rather high survivability rate

JACK THE RIPPER (assassin): contrary to brynhildr, jack got higher on this list almost specifically because of her availability. she’s a really good assassin that’s rather easy to get (well, considering she’s a five star). the one bane i can think of is that she’s not very team compatible, but she’ll do just fine regardless. get her going with quick chains and she will absolutely obliterate

CU CHULAINN ALTER (berserker): just wanna start out by saying he’s still one of the most powerful berserkers in the jp server. AND he’s easily available. do i really fucking have to say anything else? (protection from arrows lol)

MINAMOTO NO RAIKOU (berserker): mom’s deck is set up a bit differently from other berserkers’, having more arts and quick card than most of them. does that stop her from utterly obliterating everything in her path? nope, not at all, in fact, it only helps. her quick and arts card charge her buster np, which is a wave clear that RAINS crit stars, that only help her kill more later. conclusion: she’s an absolute goddess

JEANNE D’ARC (ruler): jeanne d’arc only really made it to this part of the list because you can get her really easily and she’s absolutely amazing on arts stall teams. as well and good as this is, though, she only really reaches her good points in her final ascension and is kind of hard to use before this. i wouldn’t suggest using her if you’re a starter player, heads up

B TIER:

OKITA SOUJI (saber): okita was placed lower on this list than i’d like her to be but because of her quick based status i kinda had to. there’s going to be a lot of this going on especially later in the list, but quick servants don’t see the light of day until skadi comes around, which is going to be mid 2020 for us na players unless fgo gets destroyed before then. the only servant that really got away with the quick niche was jack because she’s self sustaining if she needs to be, but okita’s deck doesn’t really let her do that. despite this, okita’s still amazing, and i highly suggest rolling for her

ARTORIA ARCHER (archer): summer artoria serves as an amazing arts archer that does wonders with her single target arts np that brings up her np gauge up almost immediately after it’s done, meaning you can spam her np whenever. she’s pretty great for arts team and not very versatile elsewhere, but you’re in for a treat when you use her

SCATHACH (lancer): OF COURSE scathach was going to be fairly high on this list, she’s one of the best lancers to date. her quick deck brought her down a bit here, but she’s a reliable servant that can fit into any team composition with little issue and has a powerful np. what else could you want

ARTORIA LANCER (lancer): honestly lartoria is high on the list for flexing and little else, but she serves as a powerful buster servant that has a pretty good wave clear np. the rest of the reason she’s up here is personal bias and i’m not scared to admit that, also she’s on a horse

TAMAMO LANCER (lancer): lanmamo is a kinda surprising servant tbh, she doubles in buster and quick and does amazing in both and has an especially high hp stat, something i wouldn’t expect from a quick/buster decked servant. honestly, you really can’t go wrong with summer servants tbh, they’re all really good

QUEEN MEDB (rider): i’m SICK of people shitting on medb. she’s fucking great. she’s a buster main that’s a crit star sponge and has a fairly good single target np. bring her into a caster boss battle and she will fuck the life out of the opponent, i guarantee it

TAMAMO NO MAE (caster): mikon is an amazing caster who sadly doesn’t really hold up to those in the higher tiers, but has skills that work great for any team and is practically the god of any arts stall team you ever might think of making. also she’s hot

LEONARDO DA VINCI (caster): da vinci doesn’t really hold up to tamamo, but i still think she deserves a spot in this tier. she has a pretty varied deck that can fit in with really any team and has a pretty powerful wave clear np. she’s a great caster, no doubt, but in a point in time when this game is practically dominated by merlin, she really doesn’t hold up as much as the others

CLEOPATRA (assassin): cleo is an exceptionally good buster based assassin with an anti army np which is really effective. she makes for a fairly good farming servant and can hold out for a while in boss battles as well

SAKATA KINTOKI (berserker): sakata has gotten strangely a bad rep from the fandom but is overhyped by the game, which is weird to me, but whatever. he’s probably the most powerful berserker atk wise, but can only really survive for three turns before dying no matter what you do. as far as servants go, he’s not as good as the game hypes him up to be and he’s not as bad as the fanbase makes him out to be.

AMAKUSA SHIROU (ruler): amakusa really only got up here because he’s one of the only four extra class five stars in the game right now, and as a servant he’s okay. he’d be a lot worse if he were a normal unit that had a class disadvantage that was common, but since he’s practically untouchable as a ruler he gets a spot up here

C TIER:

ARTORIA (saber): artoria has a rather bad reputation among tier lists because of her basic deck, basic np, shit skills … but her blandness only makes her increasingly compatible with other team setups. you can really stick her anywhere and she’ll do fine, and if she’s set up right she can become a really good servant. y’all are just lazy and mean

MORDRED (saber): mordred got kind of the same treatment as her dad but with more buster and slightly better skills, so if this tier list had a lot more specific tiers mordred would probably be above her. however, this isn’t, i’m too lazy for that. mordred is really just a slightly more atk based artoria

ARJUNA (archer): arjuna’s good, no doubt, but his competition out of the five star archer pool is hard to match up with. he’s definitely the best archer in the story mode gacha, but as an arts archer that can’t spam his np as artoria archer, he’s a bit dead in the water

ORION (archer): orion has the same problems as arjuna but with an added fuck you because of that extra quick card. if you have her i hope you have fun beating the absolute shit out of gawain

KARNA (lancer): karna’s an amazing buster servant, but the lancer pool is just really fucking good. he excels in buster but got that quick fuck you just like orion. i don’t really have much to say tbh, he’s good

ENKIDU (lancer): enkidu excels in quicks and didn’t pussy out like orion and karna, and if this were the non-merlin era he’d be higher on this list. sadly, since arts is dominating, he’ll have to wait a bit, but soon ...

FRANCIS DRAKE (rider): i really like francis, i do, but compared to the other riders she’s really just a farming servant. she can be a good main rider if you really want her to be but her np is almost made for farming. her np is the exact example of a farming np. next

ILLYA VON EINZBERN (caster): news flash but she’s not really as good as everyone hyped her up to be. she has a bit of a confusing deck (why does she have one buster card but a buster np!?!) and no clear niche so like … is her fame only because of that anime she’s in or what. chloe’s better

SHUTEN DOUJI (assassin): shuten has an arts based deck that doesn’t really fit her as an assassin and doesn’t have a very powerful np but otherwise is a good and reliable servant. She can just about survive anything and has been the cause of many of my clutches. thanks shuten

VLAD III (berserker): vlad excels in arts teams and is an amazing arts unit, but he would’ve shined if he was released later. because he was the first five star berserker released and non limited (unlike sakata) he defied a standard for berserkers before berserker standards were even set, and it didn’t come out well

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE (berserker): florence honestly would’ve been better if she wasn’t released at the same time as cu alter, who’s a goddamn beast, and if her concept wasn’t so mismatched. her deck and skillset is kinda weirdly put together and doesn’t flow as well as raikou’s. she’s wasted potential, really.

D TIER:

ALTERA (saber): honestly i think people hype up altera too much, she’s good but could easily be replaced by a four star imo. at her best she’s just an artoria remake sorry

NIKOLA TESLA (archer): his deck and skill set and np are fine? he just really doesn’t have a proper use. he fits into any team but in a way in which that team has to kinda carry him and he’s ugly. that’s all

MYSTERIOUS HEROINE X (assassin): mhx is a good assassin, especially since there are only a few you can really choose from, but she’s more of a trophy than anything. it’s cool to have her, and again, she’s fine, but she doesn’t really match up to the other assassins in the game, especially jack, who’s more easily accessible and self sufficient. also it doesn’t make sense why she’s an assassin if she’s a saber killer (just be an archer!!!!) but w/e

EDMOND DANTES (avenger): let me explain first. please. ok, so edmond is good by most standards, especially because he’s an extra class which means he’s basically untouchable by most everyone except for bb when she rears her ugly head in may. but what sucks about him is that he was released as sort of a avengers test before jalter? idk how to really explain it, but he’s significantly worse than jalter because they wanted to see how an avenger would hold up. not only does he not hold up to the only servant in his class by a long shot, he has the quick curse and looks exactly the fuck like komaeda. he really took that l

EX TIER:

RYOUJI SHIKI (saber): fgo seems to really like her but the fanbase seems to think she;s ok at best but i’ve never seen her ever in supports in my nine months of playing this game. does she even really exist? idk. her character desc says you’re likely to never see her and i’m starting to think that’s true

ISKANDER (rider): alright i KNOW you exist and everyone loves you but i’ve never seen you either. what the ufck. where are you

anyways that’s it this took way longer than it should’ve i’m going to bed

[charlieissocoollike-rp]

Day Unlucky 13: Divorce || Charlie - AU

Charlie sat at the end of the table with his arms cross. He used the blanket to wipe his eyes again. The movie he was watching was extraordinary sad. Having experienced almost everything in the movies it hit even harder. Yet he still watched it. 

The front door to the left of the living room opened. It could only be his son coming in way past curfew. Charlie turned off the T.V and stood up. This was the third time this week. His 16 year old was defiant.

“Bryson McDonnell you are well beyond your curfew again.” Charlie told him as he got up.

“I told you I was on a date. It isn’t a crime to have fun.”  Bryson said with a smile 

“You should’ve been back two hours ago.” Charlie sternly told him. 

“We were having fun. You’re too old to understand what that means.” Bryson said starting to get annoyed as he took off his coat.

Charlie wasn’t shocked. Bryson had started becoming unnecessarily rude. Within the last year or so. Hormones at it’s finest. 

“Bryson I have told you many time that is not the appropriate way to speak to your father and you are to return for curfew promptly.” Charlie said.

“Ugh!” Bryson said crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. 

“You’re grounded for two weeks. Your choices have gotten you here.” Charlie said shaking his head. 

“No you can’t do that. I have a date next week and both my academic and sports team has a game. It’s a important one. Ground me some other time.” Bryson demanded angrily. 

“I will not. Next time consider you plans before you break house rules.”

“They are your rules and I can’t follow them.” Bryson stated. 

“Why not? What is your argument now?” Charlie asked. He wouldn’t deny his son a fair chance to debate. It might produce a compromise. 

“My argument is that I can’t abide by your rules because I don’t want to be you.” Bryson said and it actually angered Charlie. 

“Watch your language.” Charlie said trying to shake it off.

“It’s a valid argument. All you do is work. Your romantic life continues to not exist.” Bryson pointed out. 

“Bryson!” Charlie warned. This was out of line.

“Am I wrong? Do you have a current romantic partner?” He asked.

“I will not hear more of this.” Charlie said walking into the kitchen he didn’t want to have this argument.

“Then where is Sean? Why is he and Sam living in a house on the next block now? Whose idea was the divorce? After 5 years? Even after all my hard work getting you two together. And what about before then? Where is the nice lady that I thought would my mother when I was young. I didn’t forget. Who is to say that my actual mother wouldn’t have left you either. Who know how many more people from your young days. You’re all out of options.”

Charlie bit his tongue and looked down at the counter top.

“My point proven. If you can’t handle your social life then you shouldn’t be in charge of mine.” Bryson concluded. Charlie remained silent. 

Bryson watched his dad then walked towards his stairs. “Good night.” He said.

Charlie stayed in the kitchen. He felt his hands shaking and his mind twisting. He went to do something he thought he wasn’t going to do. 

The next morning Bryson came down the steps softly. He felt really bad about his fight with Dad and wanted to apologize. He knew how sensitive he was about his love life. Especially his mother.

When Bryson got to the bottom of the stairs he realized there was no breakfast cooking. The T.V. was off and he didn’t hear anything. He went to get a snack for breakfast from the kitchen. He looked around the first floor and he didn’t see his dad at all. He shrugged and left for school. He might have slept in. He would catch him when he got home. 

School went as normal. Afterwards he got a ride with Sam and Sean straight home. He was missing practice but he suddenly wanted to see Dad. He told Sean they had a small fight last night his step dad shook his head and told him to mind. 

When he got there he noticed a car in the driveway. He had a bad feeling. He jumped out of the car and ran to get in the the house. He didn’t notice Sam yelling at him to get his book bag. 

He opened the door and looked around. He saw his uncle Pj instead of his Dad sitting on the couch. The house looked the same as this morning. “Hi Uncle Pj. Let me go say hi to my Dad.” Bryson said as he ran up the stairs to his Dad’s room. The bad feeling in his gut. He threw open the door and the room was empty. The bed perfectly the floor clean.. a few pictures missing. It was cold like no one lived there anymore. 

He ran back downstair where Sean and Pj now stood. 

“Where is he? Where my father?! Why isn’t he here?” Bryson demanded of the adults. He was keeping the tears from filling his eyes. 

Pj stepped towards him. “Bry your father is away. He called me last night.” 

“Wait he is gone? When is he coming back? Where is he?” Bryson asked getting worked up. 

Pj shrugged. “Soon. He isn’t well.”

“I-s is it because of what I said. I didn’t mean it. I-I Have to apologize.” Bryson said tears starting to stream down his face. 

Sean stepped closer to him. “Hey bud. Lets get some of of your stuff and you can stay with me  an-” 

“No!” Bryson screamed stepping away from him. Sean and Pj looked frozen.

“No.This is your fault. I yelled at him. I yelled at my Dad. I didn’t want to be  I shouldn’t have. I told him it was all his fault. The divorce, The lady, Mom. I turned against him like you did. Like everybody did.” Bryson said fighting to keep his voice even. 

“Bryson.” PJ said stepping towards him. Bryson didn’t move. His Uncle was the only other constant in his life.

“He never leaves me behind. NEVER! I’m always with him. I was always on his side. Just me and him. Now he’s gone. I shouldn’t have yelled at him” Bryson said starting to break. He couldn’t believe what he did.

Pj wrapped his arms around the crying boy. “It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s not your fault. Your Dad will be back soon. Sean I’ll take him until Charlie gets back.” Pj said comforting his nephew.

[aasclepius]

unpopular Owen Hunt rant 

I'm rewatching grey’s anatomy and man Owen hunt is so different than I remember. when I left my derek muse in like 2017 and made owen my main muse i’m now realizing my amelia and i practically rewrote greys and owen and man i loved my owen, i’m thinking about adding him back to my multi so ya’ll can see who owen hunt shouldve been cause he’s perfect.

but i also don’t fault him for they way they wrote him in greys and here’s why ( no way an excuse for all his actions but more of an explanation into what i believe is owen hunts journey )

so first off we have his intial ptsd and cristina and teddy right, ( in no way am i saying this is everyone’s journey but i do have a close friend who shared a lot of insight ) i think a big part of owen hunts ptsd is the fact that when you go overseas and see everything and experince everything and then come back to normal life, simple fun things now seem pointless, like watching a movie or cooking dinner or having a night out with friends. he had so much meaning in his life, he was doing big things, changing the world and now he has to do simple things that benefit him... but they don’t because all he’s thinking about is how pointless this all is. this is something that cristina can listen to but never fully understand. owen hunt didn’t go through a traumatic event that gave him ptsd, he went through a tramautic lifestyle and even cristina says it herself that she didn’t have this ‘big traumu thing’, her ptsd comes from moments, certain events ( not saying this is an easier form of ptsd but its just vastly different ) and when owen hunt was going through that intial ptsd he didn’t need to be heard or listened to - he needed someone that would truly understand. and that was teddy, as a friend as a lover, whatever- teddy would have vastly helped him more. but when he chose cristina it changed their relationship forever and he lost that chance for someone to understand, and as he went through his own trauma alone- he put cristina through it and they could never recover from that. maybe they wouldve worked if he had chosen teddy first or over her, but he didn’t so their fate was sealed. 

now amelia, and this a slightly biased opinion because i only briefly saw the start of them and my amelia and i basically wrote our own show with them. but amelia was his redemption to loosing teddy. his last chance to spend a life with someone that could actually understand him. amelia didn’t go to war, doesn’t have the same ptsd, but she did live a life of trauma - she watched her dad die, her siblings pull away, got into drugs, relasped mutiple times, had her husband OD next to her, watched her baby die, then her person derek die. i really don’t think she wouldve gotten through it without owen. he understood her. understood the struggle of pointlessness. and therefor i think they had the best shot. owen had the best shot to become the owen i wanted him to be. 

anyways there’s not point to this other than to say i love owen hunt, but my owen. not the owen the writers didn’t give a chance for a better life. 

[pigletsbigmovie]

my brother got a switch recently as a graduation gift so ive finally gotten to play botw and im not finished w/ the game but THOUGHTS!! also spoilers obviously

ive heard ppl say that the champions are rly underutilized and that the plot of botw overall is rly.. Eeeeehhh............ and having gotten pretty far in the game i kind of agree which is so disappointing bc there is so much potential there for a rly good and heartwrenching story!!

like link and the champions failing to save hyrule?? link having been asleep for a 100 years while zelda was left to stave off ganon all on her own? zelda growing up knowing she’s destined to save hyrule only to be unable to access the powers she’s supposed to have and feeling like a failure bc of it???? SADSTUCK

the part when you find out that the champions were trapped in their divine beasts, powerless to do anything but fight off the blight ganons until they died and even in death they were still trapped in spirit form in the divine beasts waiting for a 100 years to be freed so they could finally fulfill their duty.....

when i got to that i remember getting this awful sinking feeling... i was so disturbed bc yknow!! that’s Fucked UP!!!! IT’S SAD!!! and to know that all those elements didnt come together to make a rly satisfying story suuucks.... and i rly dislike it when stories waste rly interesting characters.... like ive freed 3 out of the 4 divine beasts (mipha, daruk, and revali’s) and of those 3 only mipha’s story was the only one that felt developed and it was the only one that made me rly feel anything and even then i think they couldve done more

especially with making connections to the new allies/”champions”?? like sidon was alright bc he’s mipha’s brother. there’s already an established connection and since the zora have rly long lives, a lot of the zora from a 100 years ago who knew mipha are still alive and that makes her death feel very real and tragic but then you’ve got daruk and yunobo and?? ok so yunobo and daruk are also related but yunobo didnt know daruk personally so there needs to be a better motivation for yunobo......  but yunobo’s motivation is... Not There?? you just tell him you’re gonna free the divine beast and he’s like “Oh no im Scared!! oh well i’ll go help you now!!!”???? he takes no convincing at all?? like i see theres kind of a desire to prove himself and to live up to his ancestors?? but that is baaarely there touched on the only reason daruk’s cutscene where he waves at yunobo made me sad was because i was remembering how mipha wanted to see her dad again and she doesnt even get to have that and she deserves better

then revali and teba are worse!!  like teba wants to deal with the divine beast bc it’s terrorizing the village but?? it doesnt feel personal at all like you could replace teba with literally any other rito with wildly different personality traits and the story wouldnt be heavily affected bc what normal average decent person would want a giant ancient robot attacking their home? so my reaction to teba was rly just ok you’re cool but also Who the Fuck ARe You?????

there’s this whole theme of the new allies paralleling the champions... but they dont make the most of it!! i think it wouldve been interesting for us to learn more about the champions by drawing more parallels between the champions and the new allies... like maybe while link is interacting with them he gets flashbacks to his time with each champion i dont have All the memories but from what i have im assuming that each champion gets One memory each... which is sooo........ nooo. i want to know more about the champions and their motivations and their relationship to link and zelda!!!

and maybe even having the champions interact with the new allies, calling out to them for help.... asking them to help link free them... asking them to finish what they died trying to...... in a passing of the torch kind of way that wouldve felt more emotional and personal.... and maybe “reviving” the memory of the champions in the races who grew to forget them like the goron and rito... it would establish a connection bc as it is they dont have any? the goron and rito’s relationship with their respective champions is basically just “Yeah i heard of them”.... so their deaths dont feel as Real as mipha’s death is to the zora  i know there’s still the champion’s ballad dlc but... we shouldve gotten some of this in the Main Game....we shouldnt have to learn more about Important Characters in extra and completely optional content

anyway this is a lot and i heard urbosa’s story is pretty good so im excited to get to that. and also despite this Long Rant i still am really enjoying the game!!!! i thought i would be completely overwhelmed by an open world game but it’s actually really fun! it just saddens me knowing it could be so much better... oh well i guess thats what fanfic is for lol

[deangirldisease]

let me very quickly emotiondump on here how do you make a read more

oh that was easy thanks google. anyway maybe i should look for a therapist again because i hate my brain right now its all im not doing enough at work but im doing too much at work with no support and also i hate letting these people down who are paying for a service only for the service to be shit but then yesterday i reached a boiling point (probably bc of my period) and just held back tears all damn day until finally i was like fuck it im gonna have plans and goals and aspirations and shit and looked up the admissions requirements for my masters so now im stressed about that cos theres Steps and i need money but like big money, loan money, on top of wanting to see my family in general but also because my grandma fucking DIED apparently and my cousins are there and i shouldve just STAYED WHERE I WAS but i dont like. regret coming here? i dont know i dont know ANYTHING i cant tell what im doing whats my fault and what isnt what any of the issues even are. i just dont know. i dont know what i want so i cant decide what would be best in order to achieve it, i havent talked to my step dad in years and i miss my MOM and my fathers being a dick even when i call him for a favor and i feel guilty so i try to like chat with him he still acts like a twat and makes me feel bad by turning it into a transaction. i dont even really like talking to him but it’s just hurtful i guess. especially when he claims to love me and whatnot all the fucking time. and im literally AT WORK having all these breakdowns and i dont know what to do about any of it. i mean im perfectly capable of just doing the tasks and applying to university, getting a loan, studying and pretending i have a plan but i dont and its terrifying and just emotionally im so confused. ive never wanted to hurt myself out of anger ot self hatred but ive literally always kind of considered death as relief. an easy way out. dont have to plan for anything or understand your emotions if youre just gone. im not suicidal but i do wish i was dead if that… makes sense. i dont want to have to figure out what i want so i can figure out how to get it and then be forced to put effort into things. but i also think my anxiety and depression are all coming from the aimlessness. im just existing, killing time.. until what? until i get hit with wanting something and instantly regret the time i wasted? i cant even confidently say hey at least i lived in all these cool places because im barely enaging with my surroundings!! im not making friends im not going out im not even understanding any of the systems and policies i technically live by. like i say i should get a therapist but i dont know the first thing about HOW to do that. who would pay for it. i dont know anything. about anything. i just go to the woods here and theyre lovely woods, very unique, people come from the whole continent to shoot their moody movie here because its so pretty so i guess thats all. thats what ive gotten out of the last two years of my life. i read wheel of time and i saw really nice woods. and even when i think about going back to bulgaria i just think about how easy it would be to not do anything and have my familys support but thays not solving the problem!!! but idk how to explain it to my best friend because she just thinks i hate bulgaria on principle which i dont honestly, i kinda hated my peers and the general mentality of the people but now that im here i miss the humor and the food. i dont know. it all boils down to that i dont know ANYTHING and its so much to untangle and im on my PERIOD. and i feel like i need to keep talking but i dont want to actually open my mouth and say this to anyone because it doesnt make any sense and if they start trying to help ill lose my fucking mind because ill have to explain it but i dont know HOW i dont know what IT evennis and oh my god thats why i hate this job because i have to constantly explain things i dont understand so it makes me feel like THIS all the time holy shit…. i knew that before but i didnt realise how deeply rooted my issues are

lmao tumblr said i gotta shut up. how do you have paragraph restrictions embedded in the server that makes no sense. anyway. another small part of my brain keeps telling me to just move back to europe. but like on my own. but also in madrid to live with my cousins. but thats… silly. ah i finally understand the “you cant just run away from your grief/problems/emotions” movie cliches lmaoooo

let me stop fucking crying and go answer my job. dont read this