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yandere-society · 3 years

Text

Moonlight

Pairing: Taehyung x Female Reader

Synopsis: Taehyung was a man of many things: handsome, young, rich, the reigning lord of the Kim manor. He was a man adored, a man respected. But beneath the studly exterior, he held a dark, demonic secret that floated towards the surface once every full moon. It was this secret that would unknowingly entangle you in his claws until there was no way out.

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: Yandere themes, Possessive Tae, Werewolves, Kidnapping mention, Sexual assault, Murder, Death, also it’s unedited cause I hate myself

Headline: Beast Of The Night Strikes Again! 2 Dead, Several Injured

Admin: @roses-ruby

The town suffers through another full moon of terror as the one described as the ‘dog beast’ struck again late last night. Lawmen are baffled at the carnage, describing the victims torn limbs and missing hearts as an act- “most definitely inhumane.” Townsfolk have stated that they heard the creature growl and moan for hours on end until it seemingly disappeared near the Kim manor. As for the owner of the manor, Kim Taehyung - an attractive bachelor who inherited his great grandfather’s land - refused to comment and dismissed the claims of such a being as “ludicrous and delusional.” Whatsoever it may be, the fact of the matter is that there is someone or something raging with bloodlust every time the moon shines its brightest and it might just be out for your heart next.

“It is truly incredible how some of the most credible news sources have begun to sound so half-witted these days… ‘attractive bachelor?’ Seems like you’re up for auction in the middle of this tragic incident…”

“It is a small town with unusually large tales…they’ll do anything to sell their trashy story…” He runs his fingers through his long black locks, a small huff of irritation leaving his lips.

“A story that will keep children up past midnight I’m sure…” The older gentleman places today’s paper back on the table and walks up to where the younger stood, matching his distant stare out the window. “The flowers were exceptionally beautiful in this year’s bloom. Such a shame they’ll be dead soon.”

It was a passive observation, one he didn’t have to respond to; however, it was his nature to always hold a firm stance on even the slightest of interactions. He hums in agreement, gazing out towards the colorfully green garden that his study overlooked. But rather than admiring the beauty of the large field, his eyes were instead hooked on a small figure bustling about the grounds in a long black dress.

“Master,” A calm voice interrupted him from his trance, “Shall I adjust your schedule in case you were to head into town today?”

His long-time butler, Seung, bowed quietly in his direction.

“No need.” He replies mindlessly.

“Now, now,” His uncle next him chuckled, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening, “It would do you good to show your handsome bust among the public. Your presence as Lord might provide some comfort…”

As if he should be the one comforting weeping mothers and terrified children.

He was about to decline the smiling face of this man who bore him nothing but animosity, but he was interrupted by his uncle’s careless gaze suddenly modifying into something additionally sinister.

“Or is it that you’re too tired for such a simple task? You look as if you have not slept in ages. Are you doing alright, perhaps?”

Other than the shiver that ran down Taehyung’s spine at his foxiness, he was unfazed by the weighty question. Usually, his feigned concern would make him chuckle, if he wasn’t so emotionally exhausted from last night’s events.

“I’m fine.” He turns to Seung without missing a beat, “Uncle is right. Get the carriage ready, I will be heading into town today.”

“Yes, Master.” Seung bows, but before he could quietly leave the room, Taehyung calls for him again. “And get my Uncle’s carriage ready for departure as well. I am sure at his age he would love nothing more than to be resting at home this very moment.”

There was a small confrontational silence between the senior and him after his loaded remark. But it vanished the very next second when his Uncle began to chuckle loudly, as if there was nothing but mirth between the two of them.

“You are right on the mark, young lad. As sharp as ever I see.” He spins around, walking back to the table he once sat at “I shall be out of your hair soon.”

Taehyung watches him as he picks up the paper he had been scrutinizing before he commences his departure from the chamber.

“Are you perhaps interested in the dog beast?”

“Why, not at all,” He responds calmly, turning to the younger with the same somber expression as before, “I just need some entertainment for the road. Surely, you don’t mind?”

He did not. For now, he desired his uncle’s departure the most. It was not as if he could see his own forthcoming demise stained in the ink of that paper.

Autumn’s cool breeze surrounds your body as you tend to the large grounds of the Kim manor, trimming off uneven stems from a massive rose bush.

“___,” A frantic voice suddenly calls your name, capturing your attention as your gaze falls down onto a petite figure dressed in a similar maid’s uniform running towards you, “___! Did you hear?”

“About?”

“Today’s paper!” Seulgi spoke out of breath, like it was the most obvious thing, “Those men…aren’t they the same lads who-”

“SSHHH!” You hiss, blocking her loudmouth with your palm. Her whines against your hand were similar to that of an adolescent as you whirled your head around the garden, making sure no one was near your vicinity. “I told you not to speak a word of that!”

Seulgi successfully tugs you off of her, “I know! But is it not bizarre? That beast attacked those men!”

“There is no beast!” You growled, “Everyone in town was aware that Wan and his men were good-for-nothing hooligans! They probably wandered into the forest late at night, drunk and belligerent, and attracted a bear!”

“Hmm, perhaps…” Seulgi pouts, “But what about the articles? All those farmers who lost their cattle the same exact way… with their hearts missin-”

“I’m sure those are nothing but carnivorous rodents.” You huff in irritation, picking up the sheers to return to your work. The girl besides you threw a tantrum using her feet, and you wonder when exactly it was that you befriended such a child. “Are you even done with your station or will I have to do that for you again after the Housekeeper is done scolding you?”

This manages to scare her off, and you watch her retreating figure in slight humor before turning back to the rosebush. As you snap another set of leaves, you manage to take a glance at the window of the lord’s study, apprehensively watching his back disappear further into his room.

All you’ve wanted from this manor and its lords was a chance to toil quietly – in peace. Your simple servant status does not offend you, rather it provides you security in relations with the world. You were not interested in meddling with anyone’s affair, especially with those who lived in powerful and dangerous realities. So, it does not matter.

What you saw last night, near the clearing behind the manor does not matter. It had nothing to do with you, and you were planning on keeping it that way.

Lord Kim was annoyed.

Really though, when was he not? As the carriage decelerates into the gates of his estate, his exhaustion only multiplies. Faking a straight face and an empty gaze took its toll on him, even if he had been playing theater his whole life. It was hard enough to keep up with this perfect charade as the lord of the manor, but it had just gotten worse with time…and with the incidents.

He was reluctant to head into town, leer over dismembered bodies and chat with the commissioner, but did so anyway thanks to his uncle’s instigation. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice - any sign of weakness would invite his extended family to sink their teeth and claws into him, wringing him dry within a matter of minutes. His father died too early and Taehyung did not bear a successor yet, so whoever would be the first to either exhaust, kill or seduce him would eventually take his place as lord. After being unfortunate enough to witness countless amounts of cruelty from them since age eight, he knew he had to keep his farce strong.

Common folk would think he was protecting his blessed birthright. But in a deep, hidden corner of his mind, the reality loomed that neither this life nor this manor was blessed in the slightest.

“We’re home, my lord.” His thoughts are interrupted as the carriage stops, the door opening to reveal a flawlessly still Seung waiting for him to disembark.

As he exited his carriage, his shoulders drooping and head spinning, his eyes managed to fall on you in the distance. You stood far away, underneath the stone canopy of the servant’s quarters, next to that bumbling friend of yours with your head bowed as the housekeeper shouted herself silly at the both you. It seems that you have once again found trouble thanks to the petite nitwit by your side.

Yet still, even with your gaze downcast, he could sense the poise in your stance. An aura of composure and self-confidence that has never left your being no matter where you stood, or who stood over you. At first, he just happened to relate to you and the notion of keeping together a tough act. But over time, he came to realize that you weren’t acting at all – that you, a mere servant, were as perfectly assured as you seemed.

It made him envious.

“Master?” Seung pulled him back to reality.

He turned away, scuffing his expensive shoes amongst the gravel to head into the direction of his manor. Yet still, after the small sight of you, he couldn’t help but smile to himself for the first time that night.

“Dinner is served.”

A tray was lifted to reveal a large pot of thick, saucy white soup. He had wanted something light ever since the previous night, and the chef had delivered quite nicely. Taehyung sits patiently, waiting to be served as the maidservants walk into the room with the housekeeper. His eyes immediately land on you out if habit, and he wonders if you were to tend to him tonight. But to his surprise, it’s your friend who comes up to the table to oblige him his dinner instead. She takes a ladle and dips it into the soup – just a minute, she forgot to pick up his soup bowl?

Realizing she forgot the bowl; she looks startled for a bit before she hovers a hand underneath the ladle and walks closer to his direction. He has to try really hard not to burst out into a fit of laughter as he witnesses you shake in fear at her antics. Seems like he was not the only one distracted because the very next second your friend trips over her own foot on the way to his bowl and loses her grip on the soup-filled ladle, which flies towards him.

And in an instant, his whole head was wet and runny with his dinner. It was quiet for the first minute – which appeared to have stretched out into hours for the servants – until many different voices began shouting at once.

“Y-young Master! T-Towel- I shall fetch a towel!”

“MY LORD!”

“My lord! I-I-I apologize I-!”

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. Your face was stiff in horror as you watched the creamy soup drip off his hair. Seung ran back into the room with a towel in his arm as the housekeeper bellowed at your friend.

Before Seung could wipe his hair, Taehyung held his wrist and took the towel into his own hands. Then he stood up, surprising the whole room, even the shrieking housekeeper, shut. He lightly wiped the edges of his bangs for a minute in silence, feeling the wet soup drool into his shirt before he turned towards your friend.

“Well, what a mess…” He stated absentmindedly, watching the girl shrink under his gaze until she became as small as a pebble. She seemed to be trying her utter best not to cry.

“Lord…” A soft, but confident voice interrupted the dead silence of the room. You stepped up next to your friend, your head down as you cleared your throat, “It…It is my fault actually…”

Your friend turns to you in shock. Everyone in the room was now glancing at you; the servants with petrified eyes and Taehyung with amused ones.

“Explain yourself.”

“Th-that…I spoke about the dog beast who was in today’s paper to miss Kang and…and I seem to have frightened her which is why she’s been a bit distracted…b-but it is my fault, so I deserve the punishment.”

“N-no!” You friend suddenly cries in a strained voice and you elbow her to keep shut. She opens and closes her mouth like a fish, before complying to your implication with her eyes squeezed shut tight. The servants all held their breath, waiting for the lord’s next move. They all seem to flinch when he sighs,

“…I see…” Taehyung holds in a chuckle, “You’re right miss ___, this indeed seems to be your fault…”

Seulgi quietly whines in her throat and you wish she could for once read your mind and jam her loud trap.

“…Well then,” Taehyung’s deep voice captures your full attention, “Meet me in my room an hour before midnight. I shall decide on your punishment by then.”

No one said anything further, but they all seemed to be thinking of the exact same thing. Even Seung appeared disturbed. But…it just couldn’t be… The lord has never even taken an interest in women much less bed with one. You, too astonished to remember your place, straightened your posture and stared at him straight in the eye for the very first time. There wasn’t any hint of jest or error, which left you further baffled at the Lord’s request.

No, perhaps it was just you who misunderstood.

“Y-yes Lord.” You manage to spit out.

At your approval the lord smiles, which startles you out of your insolence. You return to your humble position as the Lord begins to walk away from the room.

“Seung, prepare my bath.” Taehyung calls out in glee.

“…Yes, master…”

You sigh, standing in front of the thick wooden door of your Lord’s master chamber.

“Well, there goes the goal of keeping from trouble…” You whisper to yourself in defeat. And thanks to that gigantic fool Seulgi, you were late to your own punishment trial. She would not stop crying and apologizing, even though you told her it was now your problem, so she has nothing to be sorry about.

Still, the main dilemma for you in this moment was not her, but your current circumstances. Why were you called out to the Lord’s chamber an hour before midnight? The sensitive time frame would provide anyone the wrong impression, not just you. If he really were to ask you to…bed with him…what then?

You quickly shake your head no. It was not healthy for you to have such thoughts about your Lord. Since adolescence, you had been a reasonable girl who was guided by logic. There was no rationality in this idea and you’re sure Lord Kim had a good excuse for calling you out so late – an excuse that has nothing to do with...whatever you were just thinking. After pulling yourself together with a deep breath, you knock on the wood three times.

“Come in.” You immediately hear, which allows you to nervously turn the handle and push open the door.

There stood Lord Kim, by the end of the bed, in his sleepwear. His hair was a mess of slight, drooping curls, possibly the aftermath of his bath, and his stare was a lot more lax than normal. You gulped quietly under his gaze, stepping into the room and letting the door shut behind you.

“You’re late, miss ___.” His voice was deep, but soft. It felt as if he was trying to jester you.

“I-I apologize, my Lord. I was held up by the housekeeper…”

It was a lie and you did feel guilty, but it would also be immensely satisfying to witness that old witch being chided.

“My, my, it seems like she is always after you and that friend of yours,” You could hear what sounded like mischief in his tone, “Which reminds me, she came to speak to me.”

“The housekeeper?”

“No, your friend. She told me you lied for her.”

That was the last straw. You were going to kill that idiot.

“I…I…S…” What were you to say now? Should you apologize for your dishonesty?

“I think it’s commendable.” You were interrupted from your thoughts by your Lord’s words. When you meet his eyes, you see him smiling gently in your direction. “You tried to protect your friend. It takes a good heart for that.”

“Thank you, sire…” You weren’t sure how to adequately respond - if he really was complimenting you. Your uncertainty stemmed from your upbringing; rather than a trait to compensate, behaving and caring for your younger siblings was regarded as your duty. It was also why maid work came so easily to you. And Seulgi, with her childish nature yet endearing personality, reminded you of those you tended to back home, so you considered looking after her a mere responsibility.

“I do like that nature of yours.” He proceeds casually, making you blush. “But I still have to punish you for your dishonesty.”

You nod your head, eyes falling to the floor. Even without gaping at him, you were aware of how strong his gaze was. It was only natural to get disciplined as a servant, but for it to come from Lord Kim himself made you fearful.

“Miss ___, sleep with me.”

Your head whirls up to meet his stare, shock painting your face.

“W-”

“Please don’t misunderstand me.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair, “Although you’re quite beautiful, I only desire your lap.”

…

What?

“I-” Your Lord stutters, facing away from you and crossing arms in embarrassment, “I just…these days I have been having some trouble sleeping. Many peers have remarked on my dark circles and laxing attitude. This won’t do! As the Lord of the Kim manor, I have to appear fully rested and in the best condition at all times or else.”

He turns back to your direction,

“W…when I was a young lad…I would sleep on my mother’s lap. It was the most comforting of places to me and sleep was never a cause for concern back then. Which is why…I wanted to seek that same comfort once more…so that I may be able to rest heartedly and prepare myself to face the world of politics tomorrow. I just…I was wondering if I could borrow your lap for a few nights?”

It was quiet after his explanation. Your mind gradually processing all the information in his tale. He appeared to be immensely nervous, as if waiting for you to decline. You had to hide your amusement.

“I am ready for my punishment, my Lord.”

The young Lord smiles, which has your heart racing. Surely, he was a beautiful man.

“Thank you. Please sit on the bed, near my headboard.” He orders bashfully.

You swung another sheet over the clothing line.

Days had passed since your initial ‘punishment,’ and today would mark the first whole month of you lending your lap to your Lord. Your nightly time with the Lord had become an occurrence you cherished. There was so much you managed to learn about the man who rested on you – like how he scrunches his nose when he encounters a nightmare or how he moans only when he is in his deepest of slumbers. He was different than how you originally imagined; his cold exterior was nothing but a farce. In reality, he was so childlike and so innocent.

So different from other men.

Yes, that’s right, he was nothing like Wan. Remembering that scoundrel had you shivering in your legs from disgust. You usually didn’t have the most pleasant encounters with the men in town, but Wan had been a special case. Although you did not wish to think ill of the dead, there was nothing ever good about that man, and frankly you’re not very upset that he’s gone.

You remember the day much too clearly; it was a week before he would meet his demise. The housekeeper had sent you and Seulgi into town on a shopping errand – she wanted you to pick up meat and vegetables for dinner. It wouldn’t be the first time you went into town for a chore, but it would certainly be the most unpleasant.

As you and Seulgi stepped out of the farmer’s store carrying a load of groceries in a paper bag you held with both arms, you spotted Wan and his friends walking towards you from the opposite direction. They were cackling loudly, drunk in the middle of the day and out of their minds. You paid them no attention, ready to head back to the manor but your unwitty friend stared straight at them until Wan eventually made eye contact with her.

“Well, well, well,” He slurred in your direction, catching your gaze, “If it isn’t the whores of Kim manor!”

Because of his brash nature, everyone’s regard fell on the two of you. You tried to look unfazed by his disgusting behavior, taking Seulgi by the hand and leading her around the men. But Wan interjected your path as his friends laughed on.

“We need to get back. Leave us alone.” You stated calmly

“Why, we won’t keep you for long,” He grinned, and you recoiled from the alcohol in his breath, “Besides, they won’t miss you- them rich folk. Isn’t that right, fellas?”

His friends began to shout and woo, enclosing in on you almost completely, and you could feel Seulgi shaking behind you.

“We need…to get back.” You say once again, cursing at yourself when your voice cracks. Wan throws his head back and laughs as hard as he could while the townsfolk just observe the show. Anger begins to well up alongside the fear and you purse your lips, picking up your feet and tugging Seulgi along.

It didn’t matter if you had to bulldoze through him, you were going to get back to Kim manor no matter what. So you step close, ready to collide into him before he suddenly sidesteps. Thinking he was distracted; you weren’t prepared for his swift movement and you certainly weren’t prepared to feel a hard thwack on your backside. A breath of surprise leaves your throat and the feeling in your arms disappear, which lets the paper bag fall out of your grasp, spilling its contents along the street. You stare at the ground, paralyzed by shock as Seulgi meekly cries out your name.

“Wan, you mad lad!” Someone from his group yells, clasping their hand into his in jest while they all express their amusement at your humiliation. The group aggressively howls, making perverse remarks before eventually continuing down the road, fully disregarding your presence. They left, without any consequences. As if they didn’t just horribly disgrace you.

“___...” Seulgi steps up to your side, crying her eyes out in worry. If this was another time you would console her – scold her for being a crybaby – but at the moment you could think of nothing. You had been a maidservant for almost a decade now and even then, you had never been treated so awfully. What’s worse is that they all saw…they all saw and said nothing.

Not wanting to waste a minute further, you fall to your knees and start gathering the vegetables that fell about. Seulgi calls your name again but you focus on your task. You have to stay composed, you have to stay composed – you repeat it to yourself like mantra. But that sensation of emptiness returns, and you freeze. Before you knew it, you were trembling on the floor with tears streaming down your face and everyone still watched on.

“___.” Seulgi wrapped herself around you tightly. For a moment your fortitude was shattered as you cried in her arms on that dirty street.

Wan was most definitely scum, you conclude with a huff as you finish straightening the laundered bedsheet. But still, you halt, dying the way he did…it’s something you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Your mind wanders back to that paper, torn limbs and missing hearts. Could it possibly be related to what you saw that night on the previous full moon? With a frown, you stare up at the sky, watching the whiffs of white clouds swirl through the blue fabric.

“___!” You hear the familiar shouts of your name and turn to see Seulgi running towards you. “___, there you are!”

“What is it this time?” You sigh as she encloses in on you

“___, is it true that you are consummating with the Lord?”

Dropping the sheet out of your hands, you spin towards the loudmouthed idiot, “W-w-w-where did you hear that?”

“The other maidservants were whispering on it,” She replies with an innocent grin, “Is he as good as the rumors say?”

“A-a-a-as the w-what? What rumors- what- consummate- a-are you out of your mind?” You were blushing from head to toe.

Seulgi looks dejected at your response, “So it isn’t true?”

“Of course not!”

“Ohh,” She groans sullenly, “But I guess it would be impossible for a lord to take interest in maidservants like us.”

Your bashfulness vanishes in an instant. She was correct, there is absolutely no reason for you to find yourself special. Lord Kim had made it clear that he has no interest in you, he just requires a lap and is too proud to ask someone close. This was originally a punishment for you and nothing more – you shouldn’t become too attached.

“___?” Seulgi’s voice was low, “Are you alright? You seem down…”

“…I’m fine.” You mutter, composing yourself, “But more importantly…why are you here to ask me about baseless gossip? Are you done with your station? Remember you have to use the right tools- just scrubbing vigorously doesn’t work-”

“Oh my god- yes, yes, yes!” She responds by childishly covering her ears, “I have to use the coil sponge not the foam one, I get it!”

You begin to scold her as she laughs, prancing around the grass without a care. But soon the humor dies down and it was time to return to work. Before she leaves for her station, she makes a passive comment.

“Tonight’s another full moon. In the night of Samhain.” There was something dim about her tone as she gazes up towards the sky. You join her, wondering if she somehow had the same bad premonition as you did.

While you were chatting with your friend, Taehyung was having tea with a man he’d rather throw into a river.

“What brings you here?”

“My, do you sound cold.” His uncle chuckles, taking another sip of his tea, “Am I not allowed to visit my nephew out of fondness?”

“Well, after twenty-so years, consider me surprised.” Taehyung deadpans, which only further humors the elder.

“Perhaps I do have a motive.” He grins for a moment before all signs of amusement vanish from his expression. “I could not help but toil my mind over that paper from before. The townsfolk swore they heard the dog beast growl late into the night before fading behind Kim manor.”

“I thought we agreed the paper was nothing more than gossip fodder.”

“And perhaps that’s all it is.” His uncle’s smile was innocent but held such contempt. “However, as a gentleman who resides in the city, I find myself quite inclined by the mysteries of small towns such as this.”

“What nonsense,” Taehyung scoffs, “Are you saying you wish to investigate this supernatural rubbish the townsfolks gripe about?

“Indeed! The dog beast is nothing but rubbish!” The elder’s laughter was hearty, “But then, there is the question of who killed those men?”

The room was silent, drowning in the animosity the two men felt for one another. Neither one spoke – his Uncle because he had nothing more to say and Taehyung because he felt his throat clogging. He wanted to decline, desperate to splurge words of refusal, but then the fact that he had something to hide becomes too apparent.

“Surely, you won’t mind me staying? Just for one night?”

“Stay as you wish, uncle.”

You were already situated on his bed when your Lord swung the door open.

The sound made you jump, and you immediately rose to your feet to show respect. He began walking towards you in a fast, heavy pace with his feet striking the wood. His face had you unnerved – anger in his frown as well as what you could only describe as dismay in his eyes. Before you could open your mouth to react, you were taken into his arms in a sudden and swift motion.

It left your mind blank.

He squeezed himself onto you, his chest colliding with yours as his scent surrounded your senses. Your arms were hovering his back while your fingers curled into themselves, unsure of your position at the moment. Lord Kim hugged you tight, as if he was afraid.

“M-my Lo-”

“Tonight.” He interjected, muffling into neck as he laid his head on your shoulder, “Do not let me go tonight, whatever you do. Hold onto me as tight as you possibly can, do you hear me? Do not let me wander, I beg you.”

His tone broke your heart. He sounded so frightened – so desperate and you had no clue on how to help him. The Lord has always been the strength of this household. No one had ever witnessed him so distressed, not even at the previous Lord’s funeral. Hesitantly, you placed your fingers against his vertebrate and sat back on the mattress, guiding him gently down with you.

“I won’t let you go, my Lord.” You didn’t know what else to say.

He placed his head on your lap, arms still clinging onto you like a child. His mind seemed to be in the middle of a warzone against himself. The memory of a young man sitting in front of his father’s casket, immobile and silent as a rock, was still so vivid to you. You had only been at Kim Manor for a few months back then, and you remember being disturbed by his attitude – wondering if he had any feelings at all. But after learning about how often his extended family plotted against him, to the point of kidnapping him as an eight-year-old, you began to view that tearless boy with pity.

Watching him tremble in your lap has you reaching out to him. Your digits tread into his soft hair and you slowly move them about to calm his tremors. He seems to respond; his quivers coming to a slight halt at your touch.

You don’t know for how long you rubbed his head, listening to him breath.

You don’t know when you fell asleep.

His whole body was aching as he walked towards the grass, trying to ease the sharp pain in his head.

He had been taught that the best place to alter was out in an open, murky environment. Somewhere you could feel the air on your skin as the patches of hair slit through your pores like needles through fabric. Yet still, somewhere impenetrable through the naked eye. There was an area like so behind Kim manor – a clearing that was connected to a large acre of uninhabited woods. And among those acres laid several swamps and bogs, which formed a thick layer of fog around the grounds of the manor – most prominent on the night of the full moon.

It was the perfect place for him, who had been poisoned with this modification.

With his mind as cloudy as the fog, he thinks back to the first time he witnessed his father alter. He was far too young, a month away from ten, when he was brought out to this clearing and visually counseled on his dreadful future. More than anything he wanted to look away, he did not wish to see his beloved father become this monster, but Seung held his hand tight and told him to hold witness for his very own sake. And he witnessed – witnessed his father thrash about as if he wanted to claw his own brains out and he cried.

He cried along with his father. But there was never any other option for him than to tolerate the dread from his place as heir to Kim manor.

It was always painful, every moment his heart pumped blood into his body, he moaned in agony. While the night raged on, he noticed his panting grew deeper by the second – tone sinking to a gruff growl which rips through his chest. His eyes and sense of smell grew keener, large nails grotesquely rip through his skin and his teeth began to enlarge. The image of the moonlight basking on his skin was the only thing offering him refuge.

If he had a choice, he would have chosen to stay inside with the warm you, stare enchantedly at your resting face like the many instants he’s done before. But his changes weren’t just physical. In this state he was bigger, louder, hairier, teethier – more aggressive. His desire for blood was intense but ever since he met you, so was this raw lust. As a rational man with a sense of morals, this perverse craving ashamed him, yet the beast inside did not care for his customs. It wanted to possess you, every ounce of you, thoroughly. To mate with you in a way that wasn’t meant for humans. Being around you in this condition would break the mental leash he chains this deviant with.

Although every time he alters, he feels it loosening. There was something wrong with him – his father and grandfather were able to restrain the beast from rampaging throughout town. But he, on the other hand, had been consuming the town as his sole hunting grounds for some months now. Which is why the “dog beast,” once a mere legend mentioned every decade, was printed in previous months paper.

It is as if the creature wishes to mock him and the slipping control.

Drenched in sweat and agony, he knew the transformation was almost complete when he suddenly heard a small noise. He immediately spun around and met the petrified eyes of his uncle.

Neither of the men spoke – both gaping at each other with pure, unfiltered fear. The chill of the night establishes its presence in the worst moment possible. Taehyung was afraid for reasons too many, none he could not lucidly list. He recalls what occurred the last time the beast was enraged by someone and he desperately wishes not to hurt anyone ever again in this form.

Opposite from him stood his uncle, wondering just one thought out of an infinite. How does a normal man, one untouched by the knowledge of this being, react in this situation?

A normal man would run. A normal man would cower in fear. A normal man would beg for his life. But he, the rightful heir to the manor, declined to let this young bastard trample him in such a way. It wasn’t that his uncle was a man without fear. And it wasn’t that he held great courage either, but rather, the very oxygen that burned through him was fueled purely by his stubbornness. He has spent the majority of his life trying to crush first his brother and now his nephew, so when this chance has presented itself so deliciously, he refuses to let it slip through his fingers.

“Y…” His voice was hoarse, throat achingly dry, “What are you?”

Taehyung stands there quietly, unresponsive to the question. Although he was the larger one, he felt so scared and so small. No one had ever spoken to him in this form which is why he was unsure of what to do. He had been a fool, he thought if he could sleep in your arms and you held him tight, he would be able to stop himself from altering tonight.

But now he understood, there was nothing that could.

“You killed those men.” His uncle continues, all on his own. As if he’s suddenly reached enlightenment.

“You do not…understand…” Taehyung shakes his head like a child about to be punished. He didn’t mean to kill anyone. He’s never hurt someone in his whole life. That night, on the previous full moon, it all occurred without any of his own authority.

Taehyung was a despicable man. Wan had hurt you, and he saw it. But rather than step in and intervene – rather than protect you from that scum – he instead just stood by and watched it transpire. No matter how many times he thinks back to it, no matter how often he racks his brain for an answer, he still does not understand why he did nothing. Perhaps he was paralyzed from his own traumas and forced himself to retain his composure – however the beast did not care for his pathetic reasons. It taunted him the whole week leading up to the full moon. Hurt him with insults he knew he merited.

“You’re weak.” It growled, “Weak and puny. I shall protect her myself.”

And then, for the very first time, Taehyung took the life of another human being without any cognizance. What’s worse is that he enjoyed it. That thought alone petrifies him.

“No, I do not understand you. And I do not wish to.”

“Please…” Taehyung begged as he held out his deformed hand to plead with the elder. Did this man think Taehyung desired this life? Did he think he desired this hundred year old curse - originating from a place long before his time - that was forced upon him and on any man who dared to reign over Kim manor. Perhaps despicable, but Taehyung was still softhearted. The reason why he tried so hard to keep his title as Lord was so that no one else would further suffer this abomination, even if it concerned his bastard uncle.

And it’s also the reason he made peace with dying alone, without a bride and without children. He was meant to stand alone. That is...until he met you.

“How dare you. How dare you grovel to me, you servant of the devil.” The disgust and venom in his uncle’s tone made him recoil.

“No-” It was only a matter of time before the beast consumed him whole and he was certain, like before, it would not spare any mercy. The adversity is something Taehyung direly yearns not to repeat.

“I shall bring the priest and the commissioner. I shall tell them what you did. You shall be brought to justice for what you did to those men. You shall suffer in hell when they burn you at the stake!”

“Please- uncle- please listen TO ME-” He clasped his claws against his mouth when his voice became utterly inhumane. The beast was crawling out of his throat and his sanity was slipping. No longer was he able to see what was in front of him and once again he began to fade, like he did all those times before.

“Run!”

Taehyung with the last of his conscious tried his hardest to warn the man and take a dash for the woods but it was far too late.

The last thing he heard was his uncle’s shrill scream, and then all silence for him.

You woke up to a thump.

Or at least you were certain that was what you heard as you sit up on the bed. Your vision was groggy, mind still half asleep as you look in the direction of the sound’s origin. For a minute it was soundless, and then there was another thump. You weren’t sure what it was, but you stood up nonetheless, slowly walking towards the door. Still unaware of your surroundings, you stop in front of the wood, distracted by your own dizziness.

In the tranquility of the room, you caught a noise so faint, you thought perhaps you were still in your nightmare from before. It was immensely faint, but you heard it. The rapid breathing behind the door. Unhurdled by emotions such as caution and reasoning for once, you swung the door open in confusion. And as soon as you did, your own awareness came back to you at full force.

A clothless man stood before you, covered from head to toe in blood and gore. Your breath was stuck in your throat, eyes widening into saucers once you saw the length of his fangs. It took you a full minute realize that it was Lord Kim.

“W…what…” You step back in horror. Perhaps you were still dreaming.

The fear had snuck up around your waist and grabbed you by the throat, leaving you without the ability to move. He gazed at you with eyes that were a bright yellow, yet darker than any man’s you have ever looked into. Your orbs travel down his body as you absorb in his abnormal height, his ripping muscles, his long fingernails and…and his hand.

There was a heart. In his hand, he gripped a fleshy and large organ and you knew it was a heart.

Missing hearts.

“Nooo…please.” You quiver, crying without him ever speaking a word. All signs of alarm were raised in your mind and you don’t even remember what it was for that you came here. Only Seulgi’s words about the dog beast reigned in your ear. The world was spinning as your Lord…as he began to walk towards you. Your life started to flash by your eyes, and you closed them shut tight, so you would no longer have to witness this terror.

“Shhh.” You heard a deep growl before you felt cold and abnormally large fingers on your face. A gasp escapes your throat as he caresses your cheek.

The next thing you knew, you were floating. Your eyes flew open and you saw yourself being carried by him. There was no moment for you to react, as you were subsequently placed upright onto the bed. No longer restrained by his arms, you shifted about in a frenzy.

“Ah…uh…”

“You are mine.” He states as if it was a fact.

Then he comes over you – wrapping his enormous, dirtied limbs around you as you squeak. He lays his head in your lap and you feel the tears leave your eyes as he yet again resembles your Lord. What you had thought of as just a hallucination from the fog was actually reality. That night, on the previous full moon, you woke up and strolled the grounds to clear your head of Wan. It was then that you saw the most horrid of things – you saw a giant dog shrink into a small human who resembled the Lord.

And you had told yourself lies. Told yourself it wasn’t true and told yourself to forget. But all logic was failing you now as a creature from hell winds down on your very own body. You muffle your cries and fear – too afraid to awaken the beast.

Taehyung laid peacefully in your arms; his mind detached from every other thing that did not concern you. The heart he held in his hand had stopped beating a long time ago, but he could still feel it slipping through his fingers. He is not sure, even as a beast, as to why he takes the hearts of victims. Perhaps it has something to do with how it’s his heart that hurts more than anything else each time he alters.

Well, it did not matter now, he thinks as his perception starts to drift. Nothing mattered at the moment – not the heart, nor his uncle’s body, not even your reaction. For this moment, more than anything, he just wants to rest.

To sleep, in your lap, under this cold, beautiful moonlight.

________

A/N: Okay so I really hate this I apologize. I had intended for it to be longer but well :) October has officially been 2020′s busiest month for me...but I hope you enjoy this garbage lmk what you thought!

#bts #kim taehyung #yandere bts #yandere taehyung #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts x reader #taehyung x reader

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yanderemommabean · 4 years

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Yandere Illness Bakugou Katsuki (By Admin Mommabean)

The villain was definitely an easy take down. Small time crooks are always biting off more than they can chew in a fruitless effort to become the next big scare in the news and media. A few civilians were bruised up, but thankfully alive, all thanks to the new top ten heroes who were able to arrive on time. Katsuki was one of the first on the scene, getting up close and personal in his usual brash and on-sight attack methods, typically looked down upon by much more thorough and examining heroes after things were wrapped up.

This time wasn’t unlike any other. The villain attacked, said some stupid things about how heroes are hypocrites, and was under Katsukis fist or boot once the soliloquy was about halfway done and grating on his nerves. Self righteous villains got on his nerves more than Izuku did when he was overly nerding out with people.

The villain mumbled something incoherent when the cops arrived to lock them away, looking Katsuki dead in the eyes as they did so. He could only make out the last few words, and considered it drugged up nonsense. Something along the lines of “Your darkest desires will take over. I’m not the only one who’s sick”.

Whatever that was supposed to mean, Katsuki couldn’t care less. He’s heard all types of death threats before, so this was nothing! A joke at this point really. “Mr. Bakugou, we need to inform you about this attack, it's urgent, but needs to be done in private” an investigator advised, taking his attention away from the car hauling the perpetrator away. He nods in a silent agreement, about to ask when he should arrive, but was bombarded by media personnel and flashing phone cameras.

He said his usual replies, knowing that things needed to be kept out of the spotlight for now until they figured out exactly what the villain was up too, and said about his usual amount of curse words along the entire short lived interviews.

“Alright everyone, we have important issues to cover! Please leave your questions to the officers to the left of you, I need a moment with Mr. Ground Zero” A calm voice stated with hands held up to block his face from the paparazzi. Katsuki groans as the flock fleets over to the officers in a heartbeat, thankful that the man came to his rescue so to speak.

“Their attention is off of me, so what’s wrong? This villain got some sort of mass murder planned like the old league?” he bit out with his arms crossed over his chest. Every other year, there’s a bad guy trying to redo what shigaraki couldn’t, and its getting pathetic that they keep trying. He recalls a villain last year who tried to be tough with a weak quirk, and it only ended in them being beaten up by Deku and him. Honestly, when will they learn?

“That’s the issue. They weren’t a villain or a hero, just a civilian who was trying to get a coffee. The next thing we’re told, he’s proclaiming asinine things about love and his desire for some poor girl at the counter who he’s supposedly known for less than a year, attacking some people with his quirk when they tried to tell him to back off”.

Well that's nuts. Was he upset that he got rejected? A love story gone wrong?

“So he got his heart broken and retaliated in a bad way, doesn’t mean he has my sympathy, he still hurt people” He said blandly, as if he wasn’t affected.

“We think its an illness. These cases have been popping up all over the country, as if its a disease that’s airborne. The symptoms are all the same” The man explained with a worried expression. “Well, we assumed it was airborne anyway...Now it seems to be more by droplets and touch. We’re concerned that this outbreak may have been passed to you, and we need to do some testing as soon as possible. I wish I had time to explain more, but we need to start disinfecting people as soon as possible”.

What? This dude is telling him that he might be infected with a disease that makes him fall in love or some shit? That’s nuts! Absolutely batshit! “Im not letting some nerd tell me i'm sick if you can’t even tell me why this is so dangerous. I think I'll be just fine” he bites out, beginning to turn and head towards his house.

“Mr please! It could be life and death! Just-” the medic stammers, trying not to anger the hot headed hero “Just...don’t come in contact with anyone for a while, and I’ll do what I can to explain everything. Please?” he asks with a pleading expression, hoping that the top hero would at least consider his options.

With an annoyed huff, Katsuki nods, but doesn’t give anymore confirmation than that. He just wanted to continue his patrol and head home, he needed a nice shower after being covered in dirt and scratches.

He walks in his home about half an hour later, scratching his head to shake loose some dirt as he flicks on the light. He huffed, tossing his mask aside to the couch while shutting the door with his foot. Soap and water sounded pleasant right about now, and he could feel his muscles aching for the attention of a steamy shower.

“Your darkest desires will take over. I’m not the only one who’s sick”

Those words echoed in his head as he stands under the spray of the water. What could they possibly mean? Were they aware that they were ill with whatever that nerd was telling him about? Were they even the same person anymore?

He shakes his head and tries to focus on just relaxing, shampooing his hair and humming to himself softly, making the world around him nonexistent for a few moments as his eyes closed in thought. As usual, his personal time was short, and the ringing of his phone caused him to once again be aware that reality kinda sucks.

He turned off the water and tried to dry his hands the best he could, picking up the device with a scowl “yeah? What is it?” He bit out water still dripping from his hair as he wrapped a towel around his waist. “M-Mr. Bakugo! I'm sorry if this is inconvenient, but I just got some news that you needed to hear! That man who was sent away was tested, and it turns out he was contaminated by a new virus”.

“And? What's that gotta do with me? “ He asked with a quirked eyebrow “I need a shot or whatever?”.

“There’s a vaccine being made now, but no cure....The symptoms and signs are hard to tell until its too late”.

He knit his brows together while listening in, becoming slightly nervous “What are the signs? Quit beatin’ around the bush and tell me already!”.

The man's voice squeaked a bit, and he began to try and explain without stuttering in fear. “Obsessive thoughts over someone, possessive behavior, delusional thinking, aggressive actions that can lead to injury or death for the other person, anxiety, insomnia- The list goes on! Its...It’s like a-”

“Like a love virus” Katsuki finished, his cheeks becoming red from the thought of who he could possibly even fall for. “You think I have it? You think I’d hurt people if I do?” He asked while trying to cover the worry in his voice, knowing that in order to solve problems you often have to remain level headed.

“It’s hard to say at this moment, sir, but I can always send someone to do tests if you feel you’re having early signs and symptoms. For now, just use standard caution when meeting people. Gloves, masks, anything you feel would protect you and others. I promise, our team is doing their best to stop this disease in its tracks”.

Katsuki runs his fingers through his hair as he listens, humming small agreements before ending the call, placing his cell phone on the side of the sink with shaking hands. “I can’t be sick like that bastard! I won’t let it happen!” he says aloud, looking at himself in the foggy mirror before him.

“I’m not sick. I won’t get sick. I'm a hero! Heroes don’t get sick! They help the sick!” he states while pointing at himself. “I. Won’t. Get. Sick”. He’s sure he’s fine! He won’t get these symptoms! No, he’s as healthy as can be!

Poor thing has no idea that the virus has already taken over, and that his trials have just begun.

#Yandere virus #yandere sickness #yandere scenarios #yandere bnha #yandere Bakugou #yandere bakugo #yandere imagines #yandere male #mommabean #BNHA #yandere prompts

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wildernessuntothemselves · 5 years

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Noona, Do You Have a Boyfriend? | Part 3

Genre: Smut, but also fluff yuck

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Who knew that continuing to bang the boy who wouldn’t leave you alone would make him even more clingy AND lead to you developing some confusing, totally unwelcome feelings towards him?

Warnings: femdom, sub!jisung, brat!jisung, dom!reader, dancer!au, dancer!reader, slapping, praise kink, also degradation kink, lots of dirty talk as per usual, cumplay, one (1) slap, facesitting, cum eating, suffocation by way of vagina, and fluff.

Part 1, Part 2 Ever since that day at the practice room, you and Jisung have been hooking up regularly. And yes, you’re perfectly aware how bad of an idea that is, especially since he’s now acting like you’re his girlfriend despite you repeatedly denying it. It’s not that he’s delusional; he knows you’re not really dating, he just thinks he’s being cute…or he’s doing it to annoy you, or both— honestly who knows with that boy? And yes, sleeping with him will only encourage this sort of behavior, but in your defense, you’re pretty horny and Jisung is pretty hot. The fact that he’s bratty only makes him all the more fun to play with. Punishing him allows you to let off steam; It’s twistedly cathartic for you, and he doesn’t seem to mind at all. He takes everything you give him with a smile and asks for more. Granted, you haven’t been too harsh on him with your punishment—he’s laid off a bit ever since you’ve started regularly hooking up so there was no reason to get nasty—but you’re still worried you’d go too far one day. For the moment though, everything was under control. You were actually enjoying being around him for a change. It’s funny how being able to physically punish someone when they act out of line can calm both parties down. You even grew to like his little quirks that used to annoy the hell out of you like his loud laughter or the stupid voices he puts on or the way he gets excited over the smallest things, immediately running up to share whatever it is with you. In a way you found him, dare you say, endearing… You were loathe to admit, but being forced to spend time with him—for he always sticks around after sex even when you try to kick him out—wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You were becoming lenient with him, not punishing him for things that would’ve earned him a spanking if it had happened just a month ago. Like right now, he was inviting himself for a movie night at your place without so much as asking for your permission. “I haven’t watched Aladdin yet too. I’ll come over and we can watch it together!” He jumps into the conversation you were having with your friend, not embarrassed in the least that he was eavesdropping. “And why would I want that?” You regard him coldly, unfazed by the interruption. You’ve come to expect it from him. “Because I’ll hold your hand and sing A Whole New World with you?” He doesn’t pause, starting to sing right away, “I can show you the world—”

“No, thanks.” You shut him up, and his whole face scrunches up into a pout. “C’mon! It will be fun!” Before you can reply and say that—no, it certainly wouldn’t be fun to have his loud and annoying ass talking through the whole movie and ruining it for you—Minho calls out for him, saying that they needed him. “I’m coming, hyung.” He yells then turn back to you, excitement dancing on his face. “I’ll come around at 9. This will be so fun!” “I didn’t say yes—” He grabs your face, smushing your cheeks together and giving you a quick kiss on your puckered lips before he runs off. “See ya, noona!” “Oh my god,” You wail, making a show of wiping your lips with the back of your hands as your friend laughs her ass off. “Why won’t he leave me the fuck alone? He’s so annoying.” “C’mon, he’s not that bad. I actually think he’s kinda cute.” “I actually think you’re kinda crazy. The boy is unbearable.” You retort, glancing back to where the boy in question was just seconds ago and jolting in surprise when you’re met with the dark gaze of one very angry Minho. Shit, did he hear that? Yup, he most definitely did for he narrows his eyes at you, lips curling into a snarl, before he turns around and walks the same way Jisung had gone. “Ohh, you just pissed off your boyfriend’s best friend. That’s not good, girl. Best friends got power.” Your friend looks at you with pity, like you were doomed now. She was enjoying this way too much. “He’s not my boyfriend!” Was a knee jerk response by now. Jisung’s constant attention and rather public, one sided, displays of affection have practically everyone in the company really believing that you two were dating. “And so what? He is annoying and I should say it. Just because he’s his best friend doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” “Whatever you say, babe.” She says dismissively, clearly not believing it. “Oh, shut up.” Who cares about what she thinks. It’s totally ok. Things were fine. So what if his bestie didn’t like you, and never did, and that this only soured his opinion of you further. It’s cool. It’s not like you were actually dating him. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• Still that incidence sits uneasy with you, and when Jisung comes around like he said he would, you find yourself watching out for signs that Minho had told him something, but you find none. He’s a chipper as ever, and the amount of relief you feel at not having to see Jisung’s smile falter because of you is inexplicable. You shouldn’t care this much about a fuck buddy. “So this is where the magic happens.” He remarks, his eyes scanning through your living room. “Uh, yeah, sorry it’s not fancy or anything.” You rub your arm awkwardly, feeling insecure in his presence for the first time ever. “In my defense, you’re the one who insisted on coming here.” Jisung makes way more money than you do. You’re just a backup dancer and your apartment shows it. It’s tiny and a little worse for wear. “Noona, I share a dorm with eight other guys. Compared to that, this is heaven.” He brushes off your concern but it doesn’t make you feel better at all. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? Because it kinda just sounds like you think my apartment is crap except for the fact that it doesn’t have your members in it.” You accuse, your arms crossed over your chest. Right away, Jisung’s demeanor changes from bubbly to panicked confusion at your unexpected attack. Even you weren’t sure why you were being so sensitive about this? Are you actually worried about impressing Han Jisung? What the fuck is going on with you today? Are you dying? “Nooo, I like it! It’s cozy.” He squeaks out, still trying to make it better, but somehow he only makes it worse. “Cozy? That’s just a nice way of saying cramped.” “No, this place is, like, huge.” He lies, very badly, which just annoys you even more as evident in your glare, and he buckles,“Ok, it’s tiny.” “What?!” “What are you gonna do with huge place anyway when you live alon—” He stops mid-sentence, realizing his mistake, “Oh shit, I didn’t mean it like that… I’ll buy you a new place!” “Are you insane?!” Your mouth was on the floor. What was he even saying? “What? I don’t know. I panicked” He cries, throwing his hand up in the air, “You’re being really scary right now, noona.” He does look very scared. His voice was getting dangerously high pitched and he was babbling whatever comes into his mind. It was actually really funny to see the mix between sulky and terrified on his face, and you have to turn your back to him in order to hide the smile on your face. “Whatever, I don’t care what you think anyway.” You head for the couch, and he follows behind, huffing cutely, “You’re so mean, noona.” As you set up the movie, Jisung gets his back and upturns its content onto the coffee table. “I knew you wouldn’t get any snacks for me so I took it upon myself to be the better significant other and get you your favorite snacks even though you’re always so mean me. Except you never told me what your favorite snacks are so I got you everything.” He really did get everything. Splayed on the coffee table was a wide variety of candy, chocolate, and chips. Anything that could be sold in a convenience store was right there on your table. “See anything you like?” He asks hopefully, seeing the smile that you let slip. Quickly composing yourself, you prop your hand on your chin and scrutinize the pile of snacks like a professional chef would scrutinize a meal prepared by his mentee. Slowly, your hand reaches out to pluck something out of the pile. “Cheetos,” He observes, his tone a little underwhelmed. “Not even the spicy ones. Boring but a classic nonetheless.” You glare at his commentary, ripping the bag open and chucking a handful into your mouth, chomping on them angrily. “Spicy food makes me itchy.” “Aw, that’s cute.” He coos, swooping down to peck your cheek before you can stop him. “The fuck?” You smack his chest in retaliation. “This is the second time you do that today. I swear I will kick you out.” “But I like you so much, noona.” He holds your hand, looking at you earnestly. “You realize there is Cheeto dust all over my hand, right?” “I do now.” You roll your eyes and push him away, grabbing the remote to finally start the movie. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• It wasn’t even ten minutes into the movie but Jisung was already annoying the hell out of you, whining and clinging onto your arm. “Noona, I wanna cuddle.” “No.” You grimace, trying to shake him off but to no avail. “Please.” “No.” “Please with a cherry on top?” “Han…” “Noonaaaaa!” “Ugh, fine, you big baby!” You grab him and pull him onto your lap none-too-gently, squeezing your arms around him so tightly it’s practically a chokehold. But it doesn’t faze him at all. He just wiggles in your hold until he finds a position he’s comfortable in then settles down and hums contentedly as if this was his plan all along. Whatever. As long as he shuts up, right? You’ve never been the big spoon before, but it’s actually not so bad. Jisung had a somewhat small frame so he fit easily in your arms; he wasn’t too large for you to wrap your arms around nor too heavy for you to bear. He fit just right. It was… kinda nice. He smelled good too and he was so warm and pliable. You could feel his heartbeat thrumming like a hummingbird through his thin body, and you get the overwhelming urge to smother him in kisses and keep him wrapped up and protected in your arms. “Ah, there is Jafar. I heard he’s sucks.” Jisung yells through a mouthful of chips, snapping you out of your daze. It takes you a second to compose yourself, flustered at your own embarrassing thoughts. “Gross! Close your mouth when you eat.” You complain, “And I don’t want to hear anything that would influence my opinion on the movie. Let the actor speak for himself and then I’ll decide—oh wow, he sucks bad.” Your rant is derailed as soon as the man opens his mouth and out comes a voice that is not at all like the one you imagined a villain as creepy and malicious as Jafar would have. “Told ya!” Jisung laughs with his mouth still open. “Shut up.” You groan, but on the inside you were thankful for the distraction. Your thoughts were getting far too ridiculous. As the movie keeps playing, you start unconsciously mouthing along to the songs, which then quickly turns to whisper-singing that Jisung— whose ear was pressed right against your mouth—picks up on. Turning his head around puts his face way too close to yours, so close you could kiss him if you just leaned forward an inch…

“Wow, noona, I didn’t realize you like Disney this much.”

“Everyone likes Disney.” You mumble defensively, grabbing his jaw and turning his head back around, thinking he’s making fun of you. “Well, I for one, do.” He declares and starts singing along—perfectly, you might add, and not missing a word. “Aren’t you gonna join, noona?” “I didn’t know that tough, hep-hap rappers can like Disney too.” “Hey! I’m real hip-hop. Swag.” He wiggles in your lap, turning his upper body to face you so he could throw double peace signs at you. “And real hip-hop can like Disney, ok?” Fuck he was so cute you wanted to kiss his face off, but instead you just roll your eyes and say, “Ok, real hip-hop, the floor is yours.” “Only if you join me, princess.” Seeing the disgusted look on your face, he backtracks, “Too much?” “Way too much.” “Noted.” He accepts your constructive criticism and turns back around, resuming his singing. You join him soon and after that, you barely notice the time passing. You were right; he did talk all throughout the movie, but instead of being annoyed at the interruptions, you found yourself anticipating what he would say next. He was just so naturally funny and his comments made the movie ten times more enjoyable. You were having too much fun belting out songs, awing at the cute scenes, clinging to each other at the emotional ones, and laughing at the jabs Jisung takes at Jafar. You don’t even realize that you were holding his hand all through the movie until he takes it away so he could clap as the credits start to roll. “Bravo!” He shoots out of his seat, “Truly a masterpiece.”

So what if you were sitting there staring at him with blatant heart-eyes as he fake cries and gives the movie a standing ovation? He just sang the whole soundtrack to Aladdin word for word, and as anyone who knew you would say, the fastest way to your heart is a solid knowledge of Disney, and he just demonstrated that perfectly.

Despite you being the one staring, he’s the one who blushes when he catches you. He really was the best boy when he wasn’t the worst. Grabbing his hand, you pull him back down on your lap, this time facing you, and kiss him passionately, pouring out all the confusing emotions you were feeling for him into the kiss. “Wow, noona, do you have an Aladdin kink I should know about? Because I will put on harem pants if you want to.” He giggles as he pulls away from the kiss. “Don’t ruin it.” You warn, but there was no bite to it, and pull him back into another kiss. It quickly got heated. You were already so worked up that it only takes one little moan from him for you to push your tongue into his mouth and your hands to start groping him. But then, inexplicably, he pulls away. “Uh-uh, no sex today, noona. I’m more than just a hot piece of ass, you know?” You roll your eyes. What was he up to now? “It is one hot ass.” You tease, your hand going out to squeeze it, and smirk when he jolts in your lap. “Are you sure you don’t want me to fuck you, baby?” “Uh..yeah.” His breathing stutters as you start kissing along the side of his neck, the hands on his ass continuing to knead the flesh gently. “Hmm, then why are you squirming so much?” You whisper in his ear then nip at the sensitive spot right below it. Fighting back his moans, he tries to come up with an excuse,“It’s just… my legs are cramping up.” “Oh poor Hannie.” You coo, and move your hands to his thighs. “Want me to help you, baby?” “You don’t have to—” He tries to get up but you pull him back down right away. “I want to. Noona wants to take care of her handsome baby.” He completely stops resisting after that, turning into a gooey mess. When you order him to take off his pants, he does it faster than he could blush. “Going commando, I see. And you say you don’t want sex. You’re such a bad liar, baby.” He pouts, tugging on the long white shirt he still has on to cover up his cock. “What a tease.” You chastise, slapping his ass and making him jump and whimper. Yet he’s remains as shameless as ever. “Noona, my thighs.” He reminds you. “Spoiled brat.” You give his ass another slap before your hands go to his thighs to massage them. You start from barely above his knees, something that the ever impatient Jisung doesn’t appreciate. But if he thought he could tease you without suffering any consequences, he was sadly mistaken. You take your sweet time rubbing and kneading along the expanse of his thighs, all while he squirms and tries to subtly shift under you so your hands will slide higher, but every time he does that, you just start over. “Noona…” He whines when your hands go back down for the fourth time. His cock was now hard and straining against the thin material of his shirt, leaving nothing to the imagination. “What is, Hannie?” You coo, loving how needy he can get with just a little bit of teasing. “It hurts.” “Are you saying that the massage is not helping?” You raise your eyebrow at him, but he just fusses harder. “No, you’re not doing the part where it hurts.” “Then where does it hurt, baby? Show me.” You lean back to watch as he slowly pulls his shirt over his stomach, acting like he’s embarrassed when in reality his cock was hard and twitching already. “Hmm, cute.” You coo, reaching out to stroke it. “And all mine. Right, Hannie?” He doesn’t reply, too focused on the pleasure you’re giving him so you stop. “I wanna hear you say it, pretty.” He moans at the praise, his hips thrusting up to fuck your still hand. “It’s yours, noona. All of it. I’m all yours.” “Then why did you think you can stop me from taking what’s mine, huh?” “I’m sorry, noona.” “You should be. Dumb baby thinks this is his.” You hiss, pushing him down on the couch and straddling him. “You need to be reminded that I own you.” You barely hear his submissive ‘yes, noona’ as you chuck your pants off and sink down on his cock. You go hard right away, riding him fast. He tries to take your shirt off but you stop him, “What did I say, Han?” “I just wanna see your tits.” “Oh?” You grin, slipping your hands behind you and unhooking your bra. You take it off without removing your shirt, teasing him. Then slowly, very slowly, you pull the shirt up until your breasts are exposed to his hungry eyes. “These tits?” “Yes, wanna see ‘em bounce as you ride my cock, noona.” He drawls, leering as pushes his hips up into you, making you jostle and your breasts bounce up and down. Brat. He knows he’s not allowed to do that. Helping him out, you start riding him again, making your breasts bounce even more. “This what you want, baby?” You’re being nice and that’s always suspicious, but Jisung always falls for it somehow. “Yeah, just like that. I love it.” You smile, bending down so his face is inches from yours, before you say in a sickly sweet voice, “I don’t care what you want, little slut.” Fear stains his face as your smile is replaced by a severe look. “I was so nice to you today. I let you into my home. I gave you a massage. Now I’m even fucking you, yet you still want more. Let me make one thing clear, Han.” You grab his face roughly, sneering at him, “You’re nothing but a dumb little fucktoy for me. All you’re allowed to do is to lie there and look pretty for me as I fuck your brains out. Understood?” He nods, his cock twitching inside you. “Use your big boy words, Han.” “Yes, noona. Whatever you want, noona.” “Pitiful.” You spit, not giving him the satisfaction of calling him a good boy. But it’s ok, you know he loves it when you’re rough with him. You start riding him again, going even faster than before. Jisung stares at your chest, but you can’t imagine he’s seeing much through your now lowered shirt. But maybe that excites him even more, the allure of having what he wants be so close yet he’s unable to get it. It doesn’t take long for him to get close at this pace. “You gonna cum for me, pretty?” “Yeah, please let me do it inside. Wanna fill noona up.” You scoff at his pleas, “You think you deserve it after all you’ve done. All you do is bother me.” “I’m sorry, I just wanted your attention.” “Of course, you do. You’re an attention whore. You’d let anybody do anything to you if they just paid you the slightest bit of attention, wouldn’t you?” You stop jumping up and down on his cock in favor of grinding in his lap, his cock that is still deep inside you rubbing deliciously against your walls. Shaking his head, he vehemently denies, “No! It’s only because it’s noona.” “I don’t believe that. I bet if I let you cum inside me and told you to eat it up, you would. You’d lap up your own cum right out of my pussy if it meant just to hear me call you a good boy.” “Yes! Please let me do it! I’m so close, so close—ah, ah, please!” He begs, his hips stuttering under you as he tries to stop himself from pushing up into you. He was shivering, so close to orgasm you could feel it. “Then cum, little slut.” You’d never get tired of watching Jisung orgasm. He always looks like his body can’t handle the pleasure it was feeling and would give out. He throws his head back and moans loudly as his body jerks with the shocks of pleasure. You take it all in as his dick twitches inside you and you feel his warm seed fill you up. It’s almost enough to make you cum too, especially when he looks down at you through half-lidded eyes to see if you were watching him. You always were. Holding his cum inside as much as you can, you climb over his body and hover just inches from his face. “Tongue out.” When he obeys,, you relax your muscles to let the cum drip out of you and onto his open and willing mouth. “Wow, there is so much. Someone was excited to be fed his own dirty cum.” His eyes flutter at your words, but he doesn’t move, his tongue still out like a good boy. You push it back into his mouth your fingers after you’ve swiped up some of the cum that’s leaked onto his chin. “Swallow.” You feel the suction around your fingers as he does what you say. “Show.” When he opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out again to show you, there is no semen left. “Did I do good, noona?” He asks hopefully, wanting his praise now, but you don’t give it to him yet. “What, just because you swallowed? Any two-dollar whore could do that.” That doesn’t make him happy. He glares at you, and mutter under his breath. “Bitch.” But you know he intended for you to hear it. If he wasn’t getting attention from you as praise then he would get it as punishment. For Jisung, there was no such thing as bad attention. So you give it to him, striking him across the face hard. “You little brat.” Grabbing him by the hair, you sit down on his face, putting all your weight on him and smothering him. “Here is what’s gonna happen, you don’t get to breathe until you make me cum. After all, you’re no use to me if you can’t even do that.” Whatever he says is muffled by your pussy, but it doesn’t matter because he does what he’s told anyway and eats you out. He hardly seems bothered that he can’t breathe, his eyes silently glaring at you as he rubs his face against your pussy, his tongue licking in and around your opening as his nose grinds against your clit. “Don’t look at me like that or the next time I feed you cum, it won’t be yours.. but you’d like that, wouldn’t you.” You smirk as you feeling more than hearing him moan at your threat. You see, Jisung has divulged to you a saucy little secret; he’d always fantasized about having his girl get fucked, or in your case, fuck, other men and making him watch. He’d never tried it before because he was too nervous to tell anyone about his fantasy for fear that people would judge him. After all, what kind of man would let others touch his woman? Being with you, however, has made him face many sides of him that he was ashamed of acknowledging before, and you were more than happy to help him. “I wonder who I should fuck.” You continue teasing him, loving how he only gets more enthusiastic as you go. “Your Pili-hyung?” Oops, wrong name. Jisung gets angry again at hearing the older man’s voice. He grabs your hips and pulls you up a bit so he can move his head to bite the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, hard enough to make you jump. “Ok, ok, not him. Calm down little squirrel.” You laugh at his glare, sitting down on his face again. “But if you do that again, I’ll put your pretty cock in a cage for a month.” Now that scares him, and he goes back to eating you out. “How about Minho, then? God knows he could use being brought down a peg. I’d kill to be able to get my hands on him and fuck that attitude out of him.” You moan as you feel Jisung’s tongue push into your hole at the mention of his hyung’s name. “Yeah, you like that, baby? Wanna watch me make Minho cry?” He groans and fucks you fast with his tongue. Glancing over your shoulder confirms that he was indeed hard again, and that knowledge--the fact that he’s getting so worked up over--combined with the enthusiastic way he was eating you out pushes you over the edge. You can’t hold yourself steady as you cum so Jisung holds you up as you wobble and shake. You feel like you’ve been waiting for this a long time and it feels damn good.

You’re pliant in his hands as he lays you down next to him and props himself up to ask meekly, “What about now, noona? Was I a good boy?” “Yes, baby. The best boy.” Your heart flutter as he grins brightly and lays back down, wrapping his arms around your midsection and squeezing tightly. It’s quiet for some time, and you almost drift into sleep, lulled by the sound of Jisung humming contentedly to himself. But just as you’re almost asleep, he speaks up. “Noona.” “Yes, pretty?” You reply groggily. “Let’s go on a real date.” You jolt awake. A real date? What does that mean? Or you do know what it means but do you want it? Do you want to date Jisung? Your answer should be no but if so then why did your heart skip a beat when he said that? You’ll just have to deflect until you figure it out. “Doesn’t JYP have a dating ban?” “Yeah but it’s not in the contract or anything. It’s more of a...suggestion.” He’s fumbling and you both know it. “Yeah and fired is just a word.” You retort snarkily. “I’m not gonna get fired.” “You’re an idol, Han. If you go on a date, the fans or dispatch will be on your ass before you even take a step out of your door.” “There are secret places where idols go for dates, you know?” “Yes, but it’s risky and you’re a rookie from a rising group. If you get caught, it won’t only compromise your career but it could hurt the entire group. You can’t be selfish about this.” “Forget it. I know you would never date me anyway even if I was the last man on earth.” He mumbles glumly, and so your worst fear comes true; making Jisung lose his smile. “Who said so?” You splutter out, not knowing how to make this better. “You did. Word for word.” “Oh... right.” It’s silent again, but not like it was. Not the good kind. “Where are you going?” You feel your heart picking up in anxiousness as Jisung gets up. “I’ve annoyed you enough today. I’ll leave you alone. Thank you for letting me come over.” He says guiltily, hastily putting on his clothes. “You didn’t annoy me.” “I always annoy you. You just said that. You always say that...” He drifts, a hidden meaning in his eyes that you understand perfectly. Minho had told him. “I-I lied.” You confess, wincing as you see the shock on his face. Now, look what you’ve done; you’ve made such an adorable, happy boy doubt himself so much that he’s genuinely surprised that you don’t dislike him. He looks at you with hope, his eyes silently willing you to say anything that will make him stay, to give him hope that his feelings aren’t completely unrequited. You know that your feelings for Jisung have changed ever since you started sleeping together but what is the exact nature of those new feeling, you don’t know. Do you like him? As a friend? As a lover? Or is what you’re feeling merely lust that you’re confusing with infatuation? It hurt you to see him hurt like this. You could just tell him that you like him and make the both of you feel better, but if it didn’t turn out to be true, it would only hurt him more in the long run. He likes you a whole lot, that much is clear, and now, whatever those feelings mean, you like him enough to want to protect him from that pain. “I don’t think you’re annoying, Han. And for whatever it’s worth, I really enjoyed spending time with you today. But if you don’t feel comfortable staying then you can go... and I’m sorry.” You are sorry--for making him doubt himself, and for not being able to stop the sadness and disappointment that your words have brought him.

“There is nothing to be sorry for, noona. ” His voice cracks despite the brave smile he has on, and the wet glint in his eyes making your heart squeeze painfully. “I should go now.” •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• A/N: Feedback is greatly appreciated. The Minho/Chan appearance will be pushed back to chapter 4 since I divided chapter 3 into two parts.

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behindheremeraldeyes · 4 years

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sasusaku month 2020

day 2 - gravity

title: Falling

summary: The entire team 7 is at the training grounds, when he suddenly finds himself staring at her. He doesn’t really understand why he can’t look away from her, but apparently, his loud, best friend does. . Rated K (or F for fluff) . a/n: I thought about this idea while searching Pinterest for some inspiration for the theme (I really had NO idea of what to write) and I'm quite happy with the way it turned out. It's simple, cute and Naruto is in it, so... I guess it should be a nice story. I hope you enjoy it and please, forgive me for any mistakes you might encounter. My beta-reader didn't proof-read it for me, but I decided to post it anyway so I wouldn't be THAT late. Have fun!

It had been long four months since they had been discharged from the hospital, and yet, only now they were able to feel their muscles stretching like before. For their injuries during the war had been quite serious— and mostly because their pink haired doctor had kept them at bay— neither Naruto nor Sasuke were sent in any missions, being ordered to stay in the village instead so they could fully recover. The’ve spent months on physiotherapy and on healing sessions at the hospital, and only after begging Sakura day after day were they authorized to go back to the training grounds. However, just because they were back, it didn’t mean they could go full out.

As the strict medical ninja she is, Sakura didn’t allow them more than 2 hours per day at the training grounds. She had also made them a list of what exercises they could do, and by no means, were they to stay out there by themselves. The girl certainly knew better than to believe her two teammates would hold back if they were left alone, so she took it upon herself to supervise their training routines.

No punches, no kicks, no sparing and no ninjutsu. Genjutsus were also off the list, as well as any other kind of move that involved molding a considerable amount of chakra. In other words, they could only do some basic work out. She didn’t want to risk all of those months of intense care just because those idiots wanted a rematch. And even if they both hated her terms, they figured that arguing with her would take them nowhere, therefore, after being scolded at least three times, the boys settled for her rules.

Even if doing some push ups wasn’t enough to satisfy their physical needs, the Uchiha figured that, at least, they could spend some time under the soothing sun.

Spring had arrived Konoha a couple of days earlier than expected, and for the first time, his eyes could truly see the beauty of the fields around him. Flowers were blooming, the grass was green, and soon the cherry blossoms would start falling. A gentle breeze played with his dark locks, and even as he was hanging upside down in order to do some abdominals, Sasuke could see the changes in the world around him.

The village had changed, indeed. Tress had grown taller, new houses had been built and even the sky seemed bluer. People had changed, too. After so long, those he used to call teammates were now true shinobi, each of them with an important role around the village. He was on his path towards redemption, his sensei was going to become Hokage, his best friend was also on his way to the top, and Sakura…

Oh, Sakura.

Amongst all of them, the pinkette was the one who had changed the most. Apart from mastering the medical ninjutsus and healing the entire shinobi alliance during the war, she had grown taller and stronger until she became this admirable woman who was sparing with Sai right in front of him. His mismatched eyes followed her moves, and he couldn’t help but notice how clean and powerful they were as she blocked the attacks with her own blows. Her eyes moved fast, too, as they were constantly examining her opponents’ moves, and even from afar, he could tell she was very aware of their new teammate’s openings. Though he still didn’t know much about her new combat skills, he was sure she could’ve ended him many times already.

She had turned into an impeccable kunoichi, indeed, and that diamond on her forehead was not the only evidence of her victories. There was confidence in her expression, lightness in her feet and the way her body moved and stretched was just—

He could feel his cheeks growing hotter, and he knew it wasn’t only because of the blood going down to his head. Apparently, he had been staring at her for too long, trapped in whatever nostalgic thought that had crawled from his childhood memories, and even if she hadn't noticed, it was still not something he would’ve normally done. It was odd and very unlike him to do such thing, but considering all the changes going on, perhaps, that was just another thing he was going to get used to.

Perhaps, that was also a part of his new normal.

Or, at least, that was what he thought.

“Oi, Teme, quit staring at Sakura-chan. It’s getting weird-ttebayo.”

The blonde’s voice caught him by surprise, and suddenly, the Uchiha was reminded that Naruto was also there by his side. For he was also with his legs hanging on the tree-branch, his golden locks, though shorter, were also being affected by gravity. His cerulean eyes were glaring at the Uchiha, and it was possible to see them judging him for staring at his girl best friend.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Dobe. I was not staring at her.”

“Yes, you were! You were checking her out and you haven’t heard a single thing I’ve said, you bastard.”

“Tch, you’re delusional.” Sasuke closed his eyes in annoyance, a pout taking over his lips. “And besides, I’m pretty sure it was nothing important since you were the one saying it.”

“It was very important, you jerk! I was talking about this new jutsu I’m gonna use to beat you! ”

“Shut up, you moron! Don’t make me kick your ass!”

“Hmph“ He scoffed, a foxy grin spreading across his face. “You can certainly try and get your ass kicked again-ttebayo!”

“Bring it on, the—“

“Oi, knock it off, you two!” Sakura shouted from across the training grounds, her sparing session clearly interrupted. Her hands were resting on her hips, and her brows were knitted in a very angry expression. “Shannarou! Just focus on your own training! Don’t make me go there and smack your heads!”

Both the boys widened their eyes in surprise, and as soon as they looked at her expression, they understood she was very serious about the smacking part. It would take her no more than 5 seconds to get to them, and they knew that, if she did, their heads would hurt and she wouldn’t let them come back to the training grounds that soon.

They bit their lips, then, swallowing dry and staying silent as the two, stubborn boys they are. After a couple of seconds, Sakura and Sai resumed their activities, focusing on their own moves, and leaving the boys to their own training routine. For all the pinkette cared, they could argue all they wanted later as long as it didn’t escalate to a battle between titans that would hurt them and destroy the entire village.

Perks of giving god-like powers to two idiots, she would say.

And even if they didn’t agree with her, their previous actions were all she needed to prove her statement.

“I guess Sakura-chan just saved your ass, Teme.” Naruto whispered, his abdomen flexing as he focused on his training.

“Tch, as if.” Sasuke scoffed. “Now will you just shut up? Sakura is going to get mad at us again.”

“You shut up! This is all your fault-ttebayo!”

“My fault!? How so!?”

“You were the one eating her alive with your eyes and getting all worked up with your hormones, you pervert!”

At the blonde’s loud words, a wave of embarrassment rushed through his face and it was as if he could feel his cheeks on fire. His lips went agape as he was at loss of words, and the simple idea that the Haruno girl could’ve heard those words made him want to be swallowed whole by the ground.

What on earth was wrong with that idiot?! How could he say such things like that?

The Uchiha’s eyes started to look around desperately, frantically moving from Naruto to the pink haired girl. The tips of his ears were as red as two tomatoes now, and listening to those words reverberating inside his head wasn't helping at all.

Eating her alive

His heart stated beating faster, his mouth going dry.

Hormones

He began sweating, and he felt something burning down his throat.

Pervert

His eyes drifted to her legs, going up to her face and her rosy lips.

Sakura.

At that moment, his heart skipped a beat, and in a matter of seconds, he could feel his upside-down world spiraling. The embarrassment became too much, and soon, he lost control of his balance, falling face-first on the ground. He closed his eyes, bracing for the impact as his body made a loud noise when it hit the dusty floor.

Uchiha Sasuke was down. Even if he hadn’t fallen from a place high enough to actually hurt him, his pride as a ninja was ruined. Once he opened his eyes, he saw his best friend laughing at his face, a shy tear escaping his eyes. Naruto’s voice was annoying, and he made a mental note to punch him for that as soon as nobody was looking. He placed his hand on his lower back, massaging the area that had made contact with the hard ground, and at that moment, he just wanted to go home and hide his face somewhere.

But things wouldn’t be that easy.

He closed his eyes once more, and that was when his ears finally captured the sound of rushed steps coming towards him. For he knew who was coming, he chose to linger in the darkness for a couple of seconds more than he should, only then deciding to open his eyes. As expected, the first thing he saw was the green of her orbs, and though he was still too embarrassed, it was undeniable that her eyes calmed his heart.

“Sasuke-kun!? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She was now crouched near him, her hands carefully reaching to his torso so she could help him up. Her worried eyes were scanning him clinically, looking for bruises, and he could hear the concern in her voice as she spoke to him.

“Aah.” He said, not wanting to worry her any longer. He let her help him sit up, and their proximity didn’t go unnoticed by him. His nostrils were invaded by her floral scent, and it made it harder for him to face her directly. “I'm okay.”

“Are you sure? Do you feel any pain?”

“Does your ass hurt, Teme?” Naruto teased, then, jumping down from the branch and standing near them. Sai was now next to him, too, and suddenly, the Uchiha started to feel a bit claustrophobic with all of those people surrounding him.

“Naruto, knock it off!” Sakura scolded him, her eyes now glaring at the blonde.

“Tch, I’m fine, really.” Sasuke said, looking at her with a soft expression on his face. He felt more relaxed now, and even if he was still embarrassed, at least he felt like he could breath normally.

“What happened?”

“Yes, Sasuke-kun” Sai started, that creepy smile on his face. “Could it be that you forgot the basics of being a ninja?”

“Oi, Sai! Not you, too!” Sakura said and Naruto had to suppress a giggle.

“What? It was a valid question.”

“No, it was not! Shannarou, if you two are going to keep making fun him, you’d better as well get going!”

“It's okay, Sakura.” The Uchiha stated, her eyes returning to him. Sai kept looking at them and Naruto just crossed his arms across his chest. There was a pout on the blonde's lips, and it pleased him to see such scene. “Gravity happened. I just lost balance, that was all.”

“Are you sure? Did you feel anything strange? Did you get dizzy or something like that? Do you feel like throwing up? Do you know where you are?”

“Tch, you’re clearly overreacting now, Sakura.” He started, sighing at her worried stare. “I’ve said I’m fine already. No dizziness or anything like that.”

“Not even a sudden heat?” Naruto asked, mockery evident in his voice.

“No.” The Uchiha glared at him, and that only made the blonde grin even wider.

“Promise?” The pinkette asked, her eyes filled with a sincere concern. Normally, she knew there would be no reason to be asking all of those things just because of a minor fall, but since they were still recovering, he knew Sakura was being overprotective towards them. She was wearing her heart on her sleeve ever since the end of the war, and he figured it didn’t cost him anything to be more sensible around her.

“Yes, I promise."

“Okay…” She nodded, tugging a lock of her pink hair behind her ear. “I guess we should call it a day, right? Why don’t we go grab something to eat at Ichiraku?”

“Now you’re speaking my language, Sakura-chan!” Naruto jolted, throwing his hand in the air. Even if the blonde wanted to work out a little longer, he could never say no to ramen.

“What do you say, Sasuke-kun?” She looked at him, her round, green eyes giving him no choice. She probably didn’t know the effect she had on him, and perhaps, that was for the best.

“Sure. Ramen should be nice.”

“Great!” She smiled. “You're coming too, right, Sai?”

“Oh, yes. Eating together is a good way to strengthen the bonds!”

“Good! I’ll just go grab my things, wait here.”

“I'll go help you.” Sai said, simply.

In a fast move, the pinkette was up on her feet, and before she could walk away in order to retrieve her stuff, she reached out with her hand and helped the Uchiha stand. She offered them a soft smile before departing with Sai, and he couldn’t help but feel his chest growing warmer at the sight.

She really knew how to make him feel better. His lips twitched upwards at the thought of seeing her like that, and—

“God, you’re pathetic, Teme.”

Once more, Naruto’s bothered voice interrupted his train of thought, and if he had been considering to smile the moment before, it was all gone now. His stoic expression was back and the Uchiha was once more pissed at his best friend.

“What is it this time, Dobe?”

“Don’t you think it’s already time for you to tell Sakura-chan that you like her?”

“What?” He sounded surprised, his eyes widening at his words. “Stop saying weird stuff. My relationship with Sakura is not like that.”

“Oh, really? Then how is it? You don’t actually believe you two are just teammates, right?”

The Uchiha stood silent for a while, trying to think of the words he could use to describe his relationship with Sakura.

How was his relationship with her?

Though he had tried to think about it a couple of times before, he would always end up settling for letting time guide them. He knew their relationship was not the same as the one he has with Naruto and the rest of the people around him, but never before had he reached a conclusion.

Was she another friend? Just another teammate?

No. None of those options felt right. Sakura was more than that. She has always been more than that. Could it be that Naruto was actually right? Could it be that he really liked her ?

Sasuke really didn’t know. At least not yet. There were still so many things he yet had to understand about himself before he could actually dwell on these feelings. His feelings for her— whatever they were— deserved more than his broken self, and he wanted to give them some time so he could finally be true to his emotions.

Perhaps, soon, he would be ready. And perhaps, then, he could reach the answer his heart already knew so well.

“Hn, it’s none of your business.”

“Tch, you bastard.” Naruto scoffed. “All I’m saying is that you should just make up your mind already. Sakura-chan is probably the most amazing girl ever, and well, you guys have history.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

“You should! After all, you can’t always blame gravity for falling in love-ttebayo!”

A silly grin took over the blonde’s face, and before Sasuke could even answer anything, Naruto was already running towards the pinkette. His lips were left parted for an instance, but he soon closed them as he allowed those words to sink in.

Falling in love, uh?

He really didn’t know.

But perhaps, like gravity, there were just certain things he couldn’t control.

fin.

#sasusaku #sasusaku month 2020 #sasusaku month 20 #ssm20d2 #sasusaku fanfiction #myssfics

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faulty-writes · 4 years

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Warning: Blood mention, Violence, One-sided love, Unnatural obsession, Delusional Love, Abuse, Death. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Prohero!Reader

[ So this is a bit unusual for me to write, but a little angst and dark themes every now and again aren’t entirely bad. It’s good to mix my blog up sometimes. So please DO NOT read if you have any issues with the FAIR warnings above. Please and thank you. ]

I present to you another prompt from MHA & Readers. This month’s theme was Rejection.

[ From the very first day you saw him, you were love-struck. Of course, anyone else would think you were mad. Falling for a villain, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were in love Tomura Shigaraki. Unfortunately, he wants nothing to do with you and despite the abuse, he puts you through. You always come back, but what if your one-sided delusion costs you your life? ]

You weren’t sure how this happened, well...scratch that. Of course, you did, love was a sad thing sometimes. It made you do crazy things, as the saying seemed to go. But nothing in this world compared to love, it could be joyful, it could be painful, it could fulfill you as a person and build you up to break you down. In your case, the person you loved happened to a villain and he wasn’t nice by any means. It was a funny thing, how much you gave up for Tomura Shigaraki. You had first seen him during your first year at U.A. when you and the rest of Class 1-A went to the USJ.

Shigaraki had planned an attack on the heroes and though it was stupid to think you had fallen for him the second you laid your eyes on him. It was true, the moment you had seen him step out of that portal. Your world slowed down and your eyes sparkled. Your classmates were concerned for you and despite asking if you were alright, you ignored their words and ran straight for Shigaraki despite Aizawa’s warnings.

That was the first time you were greeted with his rejection, for when you got close. You watched those beautiful red eyes from behind that hand narrow, “Hello! You’re a villain right!? My name is-” before you finished your sentence you felt the sting of his backhand against your cheek. You yelped and the force of his slap sent you flying to the ground. “Eraser is this how you teach your pathetic little heroes to deal with villains? How sad.” the next thing you felt was the pain of his foot colliding with your stomach and the sound of Aizawa shouting your name, well it was either shouting or scolding.

Regardless, you think one would learn from that incident alone. Yet, you still continued to pursue Shigaraki. You had seen that beautiful silver-haired man several times throughout your school years and after you became a Pro Hero. Yet you never fought him. You were too starry-eyed to do anything but stare at him. He found your presence annoying and didn’t hesitate to beat you senseless each and every time you confronted him. But the day you had confessed to him, it went a little differently. Usually, it was someone else that had to save you from his grasp, yet you were alone during this mission.

You coughed once more, blood was dripping down from your nose and your mouth tasted like iron. Shigaraki had taken a violent turn when you cornered him, getting close and even going as far as to cradle his hands to your chest. You were well aware of his quirk, but as long as you didn’t hold all five of his fingers it would be alright. “You look so beautiful today!” you exclaimed as you squeezed those hands, they were so skinny yet his skin despite being a little clammy felt wonderful.

You watched his face twist in disgust and a growl admitted from his throat before he once more slapped you across the face. You hissed and stumbled back, feeling a small amount of blood dribble down from the corner of your mouth. You looked shocked for a moment before reaching up and touching it, the crimson liquid stuck to your fingers with ease. “You are so annoying, little hero.” he hissed before you heard the sound of a blade opening, you looked down seeing the sharp metal object tightly grasped in Shigaraki’s hand.

However, you merely chuckled. “You’re so amazing!” a giggle left your lips as you lowered your hand. “Please, do whatever you want to me!” you said, your face flushing over and your eyes looking dull and lost as you stared at him. You couldn’t help it, your heart raced whenever you were around him and the thoughts that filled your head were enough to drive anyone mad. You loved Shigaraki beyond anything, you knew it was a silly thing. Downright stupid for a hero to have fallen in love with a villain. But you didn’t care, in fact, you didn’t give a damn about what the world thought.

“Shut up!” he snapped before charging forward, you didn’t even look phased as you spread your arms out. Any excuse to get close to Shigaraki was worth it, though the pain of that blade sinking into your stomach was a little much. You felt warm blood fill your mouth and coughed, causing the blood to splatter on your chin. Shigaraki had yet to let go of the handle of the knife. You chuckled and reached up, wrapping your arms around him. You felt his body tense up and didn’t hesitate to lean up to his ear. “I love you.” the words while whispered made Shigaraki gag in disgust before he stepped back.

You winced when the blade got pulled out, leaving behind a bloody wound that began to seep into the fabric of your shirt. “Disgusting,” he said before wrapping his hand around your throat, you immediately reached up and grabbed onto his wrist. You knew he only had three fingers around your throat and yet somehow, you felt excited. He was touching you! What more could someone want? You felt your face darken in color, despite the pain pulsing from your wound and the fact you were getting lightheaded. Shigaraki’s grip tightened on your throat, cutting off your oxygen for a moment.

“You’re becoming a thorn in my side…” he said, his voice low and threatening. “A hero loving a villain…” he scoffed at the idea and grinned in satisfaction as he watched that red face of yours begin to turn the faintest blue color. You were having a hard time breathing, but even so. What a way to go, being choked to death by the person you loved. It somehow made you smile, despite the blood that continued to drip from your mouth. “Are you smiling?!” he exclaimed, his face twisting with disgust before he dug his feet into the ground, using the force of it to push you back and pin you to the ground.

His hand reeled back and curled into a fist, it wasn’t very often Shigaraki found himself at an advantage when it came to physical combat. But he smiled as his fist collided with your face, over and over again. Your blood now staining his knuckles and small droplets of it dripped down and smeared across his fingers. “Stupid, ignorant hero! Insignificant waste of space.” you heard the words and the pain of your bloody and bruised face. It was beginning to get hard to breathe and your vision was fading in and out. Your lungs were struggling to take in oxygen despite the fact that Shigaraki was no longer choking you.

“I-I’m not.” you weakly responded, your hands resting by the sides of your head as you stared up at him. Even towering above you, with that menacing violent expression. His knuckles dripping with your blood. He looked nothing less than gorgeous and suddenly you felt a warmth fill you. “I love you so much...please.” Once more he looked disgusted and reached over, grabbing your hair and forcing your head to the side. You tried to ignore the ache that now ran through your skull and your vision started to blur.

You heard him lean down and gasped when his hot breath reached your ear. “I will kill you, hero. I don’t give a shit if you love me. I don’t give a shit about love. I don’t give a shit about heroes.” you felt your heartbreak, no. He couldn’t mean it. You loved him! You had to prove it! You struggled to breathe and reached up, trying to grab at Shigaraki’s shirt but he smacked your hand away which left you whimpering. “P-Please...I’ll do...anything.” your heart was beating like crazy and your body was beginning to grow cold. The bloody stomach wound you had received began to create a red puddle beneath you.

You trembled, you just wanted warmth. You wanted Shigaraki’s warmth, to be able to hold him and have him accept your love. But it seemed like that wasn’t possible, but when you saw him begin to smile. You felt a small amount of hope fill you, “It’s a funny thing you know.” you hissed when his hand pressed against your stab wound, making you squirm underneath him. He chuckled, clearly happy to be causing you such pain. “Begging like that, even after I rejected you.” he scoffed and rose back to his feet, leaving you on the ground. He looked at you, his eyes tracing you from head to toe before he turned to walk away or you assumed he was going to walk away.

Instead, he took a few steps only to stop. You watched as he looked over his shoulder at you, seeing his face without that stupid hand in the way was memorizing and his eyes almost seemed to glow as he looked at you. But without warning, he swirled around and his foot collided with your stomach. Causing more blood to spill, you screamed out and your hands immediately reached down to grasp the area that was now bleeding profusely. Tears came to your eyes, streaming down your bruised face. “Shut up,” Shigaraki said and you trembled as you watched him crouch down next to you. His eyelids were lowered and he was wearing a frown, almost as if the joy you previously brought him disappeared.

“It’s a shame, I expected more of a fight when I killed a hero,” he said as he once more wrapped his hand around your throat and you violently trembled. This was the man you loved, how could he do this to you!? “P-Please.” you tried to beg once more as you felt him press four fingers to your throat and you weakly reached up, your own eyelids growing heavy. God, you felt like you were going to faint at any moment. “I l-love you…” you tried to reason with him, but that cold expression he wore went unchanged. “Go fuck yourself, hero,” he said quietly before all five of his fingers touched your throat and you gasped as you felt your skin grow drier and drier.

His quirk working through every layer of skin and you tried to gasp for air, clawing at his hand, but it was of no use. Your eyes were wide, but Shigaraki smiled as he saw the pure fear in them. He wanted everyone in the world to feel like that, to bend to his will and his only. “Goodbye hero.” your struggling soon came to a stop as his decay quirk crept up your skin. Your face, chest, legs. Everything turned gray and small cracks appeared across your body. One last tear fell from your eye before your body slowly turned to dust.

Shigaraki frowned as he watched what was once your body scatter with the wind. “Love is useless,” he muttered before leaning back up, slipping his hands into his pockets without another care. He knew he shouldn’t have wasted time dealing with a stupid hero, but if it meant one less annoyance in his life. He didn’t mind but in the end. Your love was ultimately rejected and though it could have been something beautiful. Maybe in another time, in another world, it would have been. But the reality was, you had loved the wrong person and it had cost you more than your heart.

#shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #bnha reader insert

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sid471 · 3 years

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I’m doing these out of order 😊

Oopsie. Hello friends I watched episode 3 and I’m gonna talk about it :3 TL;DR: ... Fuck >_> Spoilers in bound. Don’t want, go away thnk yoooou 😗

So the whole squad got into the academy ^_^ That’s good :3 I think one of Blake’s shadows hit the button 🤔 But yeah they made it and the reactions were funny XD Started off with a bit of comic relief. That’s good ^__^

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut then we see Watts. And..... Of course Ironwood is working with him <_< We all knew he was going to but that doesn’t make it any less annoying >_> He’s not getting off my “Please die soon >_>” list with this kinda behavior <_> Watts is hacking shit around the academy and the final goal is to hack Penny 🙄 We all knew >_< But I hope it doesn’t work. Penny is still robot, but she’s more human than anyone in Atlas. Maybe her humanity will make it impossible to hack her? Or at least impossible to take complete control of her. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking. Aaaaand as a cherry on top of the cake, Watts finds out that they’re in the academy and Ironwood sends a whole buncha reinforcements after them

Anyway next we see more of RNBW(P) and we get an official breakdown of how Ruby’s Semblance works ^_^ complete with a cute graphic :3

So they use Ruby’s Semblance to get to the room they’re looking for and Penny gives Pietro control of her body, which is very interesting that she can do, and Pietro gets to work doing his thing.

While that happens, Nora, Blake, and Weiss actually have a very sweet and needed conversation. Blake says that she hopes the others are okay and expresses concern over Yang and Ruby’s relationship, me too girl, and Weiss says “Of course they’ll be okay. Sometimes sisters just have different ideas of what’s right. And that’s okay. They’ll work it out.” not verbatim, but that’s the message. And Nora says “Yeah don’t worry! Oscar’s improved a ton, Yang’s strong enough to protect everyone, and Jaune’s new upgrades are awesome! ^_^” Again not verbatim, god I just watched it I already forgot I have the memory of a dead goldfish >_> And then Blake and Weiss look at her like ‘Forgetting someone? 🤨’ and then she adds on “Oh! And Ren is... Ren is... *sigh* I don’t know what he is anymore. Every time it seems like we’re making progress something always just... pushes us back 😔” We get some Nora vulnerability I was surprised and pleased. And Blake says “When you spend so much time with someone... They can become a part of you. But that’s just it. They’re one part of you. You can’t forget about the whole.” Very good advice from our favorite cat girl. And Nora says something, again that needed to be said, “I don’t know who I am... without Ren. How sad is that...?” And Weiss says “Well... You can use this as your chance to find out. Do something only Nora can do! 😄” And Nora says, sarcastically, and sadly “Like what? Be strong and hit stuff?” I LOVED that whole talk. It was very needed for us and the characters.

But that part with RNBW isn’t done yet Pietro finishes what he’s doing, I forgot because fish brain >_>, and relinquishes control back to Penny. He also reveals that he wants Penny to stay in Amity with Pietro and Maria. Which... makes a bad bad thought come to me that I’ll talk about at the end <_<. Penny says “No but they need me here... Right?” and Ruby says “Well... If you’re up there Salem can’t reach you. She’ll never get the Relic.” Which only amplifies my bad bad thought >_<. But that comes later <_<

The quintet go the leave the room only to find the Ace Ops there. Wonderful >_>. But Weiss, sassy queen she is, says “Losing to us once wasn’t enough?” And Marrow says “We were just holding back on you guys! >_>” Which... Why would they if they were serious about arresting them? More proof to my “Ace Ops didn’t WANT to fight RWBY” Theory :3 anyways they all gang up on Penny and try to guilt trip her into coming back with them, Marrow, again <_>, saying “You have the power to stop this. Just take the Relic and give it to Salem and everything will be over.” which I find interesting that that’s what Ironwood wants to do because that just gets Salem that much closer to winning <_< God Ironwood is delusional >_>. But Ruby, Queen, says “Until Ironwood changes his mind about Mantle nothing is going to change!” and she’s right, why is a 17 year old girl smarter than 4 people in their late 20s, maybe early 20s for Marrow, who are higher ups in the military, and the leader of said military <_<

Congratulations it’s not just Ironwood I hate now. It’s everyone in Atlas, except Winter who we haven’t seen since last episode, but I know wouldn’t blame Penny for her condition. She’d blame Cinder. You know... The person’s who’s fault it is? Something the FNDM and Ironwood have in common: Blaming the heroes for something Cinder caused 😊 I know not everyone but still

So Harriet mocks Ruby and the others and Penny steps in front of her friends, and outside of the room they’re in, and says “Leave her alone” and before Ruby can warn her, the door closes behind her. Which ALSO adds to my they don’t wanna fight RWBY theory .-. I mean I get that they wanted to isolate Penny and take her by force. But I mean hey... If you’re “The best huntsman in Atlas” you should able to take all 5 of’em probably right? 😊. ANYWAY, Then....... WE SEE PENNY USE THE MAIDEN POWERS! 😱😁 Penny fights the Ace Ops, by herself, QUEEN, and actually holds her own rather well considering it was 1v4. Vine gets close to the door but Penny says “You’re not hurting my friends!”, showing her loyalty to her new team ^_^. She holds her own, but y’can’t expect her to completely destroy them because, it seems like, the rest of the Ace Ops, Team HAZE as I’ve seen it called, has worked on their coordination since ‘holding back’ against RWBY.

While Penny fights the camera switches to the other side of the door with the rest of the team to see them trying to open the door, Weiss using her Arma Gigus to try and destroy the lock but it doesn’t work and Weiss calls the Ace Ops cowards, which they are, and the door won’t budge because of the electricity field around it. Electricity. Hmm... Who there likes lightning 🤔. Total mystery.

Anyway while they’re trying to figure out how to open the door it goes back to the fight, with Penny more than holding her own with the Floating Array in conjunction with Maiden powers, but she’s still taking a lot of hits. Back in the room, Nora has a moment, repeating what she said before but with more confidence, “Be strong, and hit stuff.” before she sticks Magnhild into the lighting and takes ALL of it into her body, causing her body to actually get scars from the sheer amount of electricity she’s absorbing, and blows the door off, hitting the Ace Ops and getting them trapped under it. She says “That was pretty awesome.” before her Aura immediately depletes and she passes out. Penny rushes to her side worried as the Ace Ops push the door off of them. And then they all fight together, but something weird happens. Ironwood says something to HAZE that we don’t hear, and they say understood. And the fight continues, but it abruptly ends once Harriet grabs one of Penny’s swords. The Ace Ops leave afterward and Ruby and Weiss are like “That was suspicious 🤨”. Their attention immediately goes back to Nora though as May shows up with a plane to get them out of there.

Penny and Ruby talk on the plane and we finally see the famous hug that was in all the trailers :3 Penny says “It’s time for me to go isn’t it...” And is clearly upset about it. Ruby hugs her and tells her not to worry and they’ll see each other again. After another moment, Penny gets out of the plane and flies up to amity.

The episode ends with the Ace Ops giving Watts Penny’s sword that they took and Watts saying “If you can’t beat them... Make them join you.” and then credits.

Remember that bad bad thought I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? Well..... What if Watts makes Penny kill Pietro >_< Pietro and Maria are alone in Amity so they don’t have protection it’d be Penny with her Maiden powers vs 1 old man with a very damaged aura and one old woman who’s very out of practice >_> I don’t want it to happen >_< But it’s a possibility....... And Iiiiiiiii hate it <_<

Phew even if you have seen the episode I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped at the Tl;DR .-.

#RWBY #RWBY 8 #RWBY Volume 8 Episode 3 #RWBY Spoilers #RWBY Volume 8 Spoilers #RWBY8 Spoilers #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Nora Valkyrie #Penny Polendina #James Ironwood #Ace Ops #Arthur Watts

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itzagothamcitysiren · 4 years

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Pretty Please

I’m taking request now! I write oc’s so if you want to request something just shot me a ask or message! :) This one was requested by @comic-nerd-dc

Request: Will you do a damian (16+) with my name Sandy. Maybe like the dorky best friends to lovers trope I’d love to see damian get jealous over me and not understand what he was feeling and then like haveing a screaming match when he confesses his feelings

Part One

Damian Wayne had never gotten used to the big galas and parties his father threw. Even after living with his father for the last ten years and attending countless amounts of them, he still found himself uncomfortable as he was forced to put on a new face and pretend to be interested in anything and everything that people told him as he conversed; it was sickening.

Normally he’d be able to stomach it a little bit better but tonight was different. Tonight he could feel himself letting his face droop and show how truly uninterested he was in the conversation he was stuck having with one of his father’s business partners. He quickly caught himself though before the well-polished man before him noticed, straightening himself back up and plastering that fake look of attentiveness back on his face.

As the man went on about the coming merger between himself and Damian’s father, Damian let his thoughts trail off. He was one hundred percent not interested in a thing this man was saying if it wasn’t any clearer than it was before. He was more concerned about a different matter; a far more important one for that matter. It had been the whole reason why he was stuck here alone and finding everything unbearable.

He’d already gotten on warning look from his father already, as well as the famed family butler and to throw more salt into the wound even Grayson asked him what his deal had been. Tt, he thought to himself, remembering Dick’s concerned look. But as much as Damian hated admitting it, he was almost an open book to the man now and could never hide when something was bugging him.

Damian hadn’t noticed or heard the incoming of footsteps, well-trained or not, until a hand clasped against his shoulder. He jerked forward, face contorting into a scrunched rage for being snuck up on and startled. Between his thoughts, the man’s never ending story and the loud chatter and music throughout the room, Damian had been completely distracted.

“Hey,” Jason’s voice came to reach Damian’s ears, causing the boy to look up at him with a confused and annoyed face. “You wouldn’t mind if I burrowed my brother real quick would you? No? Thanks!” Jason continued, slightly with a teasing tone throughout.

He didn’t really wait for an answer, quickly turning Damian away from the conversation and towards the opposite side of the large ballroom. Damian quickly shrugged his hand off his shoulder, not as forcefully as he would’ve liked, knowing that his father would kill him if he made a scene. He still let Jason lead him away as he silently thanked him for getting him out of his previous predicament. He would never say so out loud, of course; this was Todd after all.

“What do you want, Todd?” Damian glared up at the older man, not having to look up as much as he used to, having hit a growth spurt over the last couple of years. He was practically Jason’s height now.

“Thanks for saving me, Jason; yeah no problem, Damian, you’re welcome.” Jason mimicked Damian’s voice in a fake conversation before taking a drink from the glass he held.

“Tt, you didn’t save me Todd.” Damian narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Okay fine then. Go back to that extremely interesting conversation.” Jason nodded back towards the man, who had locked a new victim into conversation. “By all means,”

Damian grunted but made no sign of moving. He prefer to not spend his already miserable night with Todd but even he had to admit that Todd was better than that. Why is father was willingly making himself a partner was unknown to him.

“Why are you here?” Damian questioned.

“Working a case, Tim was gonna decode something for me.” Jason started, taking another drink, leaving the glass now empty. “Dick found out and begged me to stay at the manor; I said no and he told Alfred, so now here I am.”

Damian nodded, understanding; you didn’t just say no to Alfred. The man was getting older, not being as active as he had been around the manor when Damian first arrived. Even he found himself caving more and more for the man, knowing that he’d regret it if he hadn’t.

“What crawled up your ass and laid an egg? You looked like you were two seconds away from murdering that guy.” Jason asked with a slight chuckled.

“You’re as ill-mannered as ever, Todd.” Damian rolled his eyes. “Nothing is wrong. You should know just as well as I that father’s parties aren’t the most pleasant.”

“This is true.” Jason nodded, “Though Dick said you’ve been pouting all week so,” Jason added with a shrug.

“Grayson’s delusional.” Damian spat, crossing his arms a little tighter, ignoring the feeling of chest constricting into itself.

“This is also true.” Jason laughed, “You’re also a liar. Does this have something to do about a specific lady friend? Which speaking of I haven’t seen her all night? Where is she?”

“On a date with her boyfriend.” Damian said grinding his teeth together.

“Blondie has a boyfriend now? Oh, I get it now.” Jason almost sang out. “You’re just jealous. Makes sense why you’re panties are in a twist.”

“Excuse me? We’re just friends, I have no reason to be jealous. Don’t be absurd, Todd.”

“Ha! Are you joking? You have the total hots for her. I may not be around much but even I can see it.”

“Grayson’s not the only delusional one in this family apparently.”

“Aw, you admit we’re family. But no seriously, it’s fine to be jealous. I mean it’s not, you shouldn’t have let it get to the point of being jealous and asked her out yourself-

“I am not jealous Todd. Sandra is completely capable of dating anyone in which she chooses. ”

“Okay Demon Spawn, you keep telling yourself that while I go get another drink.”

Damian huffed as he watched Todd walk off towards the bar. He was not jealous. He was Damian Wayne; he was Robin for crying out loud. He didn’t do jealously. There was no way in hell that he was jealous of whatever his name was again. He was so not jealous that he hadn’t even remembered the boy’s name, even with her talking about him nonstop in the last month of the two dating. Damian Wayne was one hundred percent not jealous.

Angry? Now that was a different story. Damian did do anger. He was angry about a lot of things actually. Was this one of those things? Possibly, but he knew that he couldn’t stay angry at Sandy for too long. They’d been friends for so long, meeting shortly after she had joined the Teen Titan’s a couple of years back. She was Black Cannery’s niece and thought it’d be best for her to work with kid’s her own age part time.

And at first Damian was Damian, acting closed off and untrusting, especially after the whole fiasco with Slade and Terra. He didn’t care if she could be vouched for by a hero as established as Cannery, he didn’t know her, so he didn’t trust her. But he soon got to know her.

Her bubbly and outgoing attitude was hard to avoid.

She had a voice to match too. Damian hated to admit but her powers and skill had been a great addition to the team. The pair built a great dynamic with each other unintentionally. They both were greatly skilled in hand to hand combat, offend sparring for hours and until they were both panting on the ground. She tested him; she pushed him to his limits.

It wasn’t just in training she did so either, as Damian noticed, she had a very big personality. She refused to let him skip out on team movie night and dinners. She always made sure he was included and participated. At first he found it unnerving, not understanding why she clung to him as much as she had. He didn’t know when it happened but eventually he began to find it endearing, and soon grew fond of the attention.

He wasn’t sure of the exact moment their friendship formed but it had. The former assassin knew it had something to do with her being the only one to actually remember his birthday. He had been thankful that she kept it to herself and not tell the rest of the team, knowing he wouldn’t want a big surprise party or anything like they’d end up wanting to throw.

Instead she kept it to herself and made a small party for themselves in her room. She’d made a giant blanket and pillow fort in her room, made a ton of his favorite foods and bought him new art supplies. His father and even Dick and Alfred had gotten him birthday presents in the past, along with trying to make a small celebration for the date but it hadn’t felt as genuine as this had.

So was he angry that she had ditched him tonight to spend time with her new boyfriend? Not necessarily. But was he happy about it? Absolutely not. Ever since they became close friends she went to every single gala with him knowing that it eased his anxieties about them and made them go by quicker. She could’ve gone out any other night for she knew that tonight was his night with her but she choice to instead go off and see some stupid movie and pay for overpriced snacks.

He found himself deep in though again, losing himself in another self-tirade. He watched the people move about the room, all laughing and appearing to have a good time, making a bitter scowl appear on his face. He hated how he was clearly the only one not having a good time. Normally he wouldn’t care but he felt like he had a terrible taste in his mouth and watching everyone else made it worse. His eyes traced the room again, scanning around as if it would change anything.

His eyes stopped on one particular head of hair. Blonde.

His feet were moving long before his mind was as he made his way across the marble floors. His target was right in front of him and he felt something snap in him before he could stop himself. When he stood right behind the person he had been glaring daggers at he reached out, gripping his fingers tightly around their wrist.

“What are you doing here, Lance?” Damian questioned, his voice thick as he jerked her around to look at him, cutting her off from her conversation she had been having with Dick and Tim.

Tim looked at the pair with a deadpanned look, nudging Dick, trying to signal the other man to leave the two alone but the birdbrain didn’t get the clue. Dick obviously opened his mouth, “I texted her where she was and asked her to come when she saw she was just at home.”

“What?” Damian jerked his head to look from Dick back to his friend. “Weren’t you on a date?”

“Erm, yes,” she said nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

She brushed her hair over to her left shoulder, shifting in her heels. Damian knew she was hiding something, he could tell just from the sound of her voice let alone her stance. She also was wearing the same dress she wore to the last gala, something she would never normally do. It wasn’t that anyone would notice, the gala’s being so stretched out but she always fretted about being caught wearing the same dress twice and being embarrassed.

Cocking an eyebrow at the girl, Damian knew something was wrong when she averted her eyes away from him. He felt his sudden anger flare. They didn’t keep things from the other. Their whole friendship was based off of a certain level of trust and her just randomly showing up without his knowledge was something small, but something they just didn’t do.

Damian grabbed her wrist again, pulling her away from her brothers. He ignored her protests and question of what he was doing. He also ignored Dick’s voice.

“Where are you going?” Dick called out, only to be shushed by Tim.

Sandy shot them an apologetic look, before relenting and letting Damian drag her out of the ballroom. It wasn’t until they were halfway into the manor did she finally put her foot down, feeling her blue eyes growing sore from glaring at the back of the boy’s head.

“Damian if you don’t stop dragging me I’m going to scream.” She warned, giving her arm a good tug.

Damian scowled at her, releasing her from his hold but not without a little sass in his actions. He tutted, crossing his arms against his chest, looking at her straight in the eyes, being close in height.

“What’s your problem?” She questioned, mimicking his stance.

“You weren’t supposed to be here tonight.” He said not breaking his stern stair.

“Well,” she rolled her eyes, popping her hip out slightly. “I can leave if that’s what you want.”

“No,” He said a little too quickly, causing her to quirk an eyebrow. Coughing into a fist to clear his throat, he shook himself back into his strict demeanor he broke shortly. “I was just under the assumption you weren’t coming tonight. You said you had a date.”

“I did.” She said making an annoyed face. Damian made a face of his own, silently pushing her to explain further. She huffed, uncrossing her arms and placing one hand on her hip. The other ran through her soft curls as she furrowed her brow, “It ended early.”

“Why?”

“What’s with all the questions, Damian?” She slightly shook her head, feeling exhausted and about ready to crawl into herself.

“You’re clearing hiding something. I just-,”

“Just drop it Damian,” She signaled him to cease with a wave of her hand, crossing her arms against her chest once more. She turned her head away from him, looking back down the hall from which they came from. “We should head back downstairs before we upset your father and Alfred.”

“No, I want to know what happened.” He demanded, reaching out to grab her arm as she turned away from him. “Did he hurt you?”

“What?” She questioned, slight amusement cracking through. She shrugged her arm out of his grip, the lightness in her voice now gone. “Pfft, please. Like he could.” She rolled her eyes, “its fine. Please, let’s just go back downstairs, ya?”

Damian nodded reluctantly giving up. She looked about ready to scream and he was sure that his father wouldn’t appreciate the cry of a cannery ruining his party. He followed behind her as she now led him through the halls of the manor. His face still kept the same stern look, now noting how fake she looked as she pretended to be her regular self throughout the night. He wouldn’t call her out on it. He wouldn’t keep pressing that he knew she was hiding something from him. He’d give up.

For now.

#Damian Wayne #damian wayne fanfiction #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x oc #orginal character #batman fanfiction #robin x oc #Jason Todd #dick grayson #Tim Drake #jason todd fanfiction #tim drake fanfic #dick grayson fanfic #request #dc comics fanfic

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industria-adastra · 4 years

Text

Lack of love nourishes poison in my lungs

A/N: More or less a rewrite of a old one shot that’s just chilling in my personal blog (Here if you want to read it). Once again, I don’t really know what I’m doing. However, hanahaki au brainrot.

Summary: Sebastian thinks about Clarissa at times. And as he does, he coughs out petals.

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When Jonathan, no, Sebastian (His name is Sebastian now, something that he chose for himself, something that is now his and only his) opens his eyes again, he feels that same itching in his throat, the tickling in his lungs that he could never explain before when he was merely Father’s little monster, still training to be the best weapon he could possibly be. He could not explain it even now, when he’s nearing adulthood. How strange that even dying once could not rid him of that irritating itch and ache within.

Sebastian wonders if Jace can feel it too now that he is bound to him through Lilith’s rune.

It was a slow day when he asked about it. “Jace.”

“Yeah?” Comes the reply.

“Do you ever feel an itch in your chest at times? Or perhaps experience coughing fits in the middle of doing something?”

“Nope, I don’t think I do...How come you’re asking?”

Interesting. Perhaps the bond did not allow them to share unique physical afflictions that ailed one party. Perhaps Lilith’s rune was weak in certain areas. He’d have to look more into demonic runes later.

“Sebastian?” Ah, right, Jace’s question. He hadn’t given an answer back yet.

“No reason.” There was no need to ponder upon the questions of the past for now. Sebastian needed to focus on the future now; his future, now bright and clear after Lilith (Clary, really, in her foolish fit of grief-stricken impulsiveness.) gifted him a second chance.

If he got the chance, he'd have to thank her for that.

On another boring and slow day he asks Jace about the fate of their (his) father since he clearly failed his goal in the War he waged with the Clave and the downworlders. After all, there was obviously no ongoing eradication of either fae, vampires, warlocks or werewolves and such currently happening. Was Father dead? Or was he stripped of his marks, forced to live as a mundane? It would be an amusingly cruel yet fitting punishment for his purity obsessed Father if that happened.

Jace tells him that Clarissa-his sister, who was nothing like him (or so he thought)-had changed the runes for Valentine’s name to her own, causing the angel Raziel to strike him down (With lighting brought down with righteous fury, a part of him jokes morbidly), for he was no longer considered the one who summoned him, killing him on the spot. Clarissa had then asked the angel to bring back Jace from the dead-Sebastian didn’t listen after that, since he already knew that anyway. (Why else would he be alive and walking again?)

But Sebastian found himself thinking of that single action Clarissa had taken. At sporadic periods of time during the days that passed by, he wonders and ponders and contemplates questions and what-ifs. He finds that he chokes up a near-concerning amount of petals during those times.

Little Clarissa, all sparks and spitfire but with no true bite had done that to Valentine? Indirectly murdered her own family in cold blood? Like light parting through mist, Sebastian’s world is illuminated once more. Clarissa, dear little sister, had killed their Father, and judging from the glances and the little that he had seen of her-was completely unaffected by it. This fact brought unexplainable hope in his twisted, blackened heart. Part of Sebastian shivers with excitement at the thought of her joining them, him.

Would she love him like she loved Jace? With a scorching intensity and undying loyalty that would tie them together forever, never to leave each other? If he cut her open, how much of him would he be able to see?

Perhaps, just maybe. Maybe.

Perhaps his sister was like him after all. Enough that he’d be able to take those strings that connected the two of them together and bind her to him-forever.

(Perhaps, he was not so truly alone.)

Sebastian coughs lightly, and a purple-blue petal comes out. His chest itches again, and his throat feels dusty and dry. How curiously annoying.

Nevertheless, he starts to wonder if Clarissa would ever join them.

He coughs up delicate pink petals at times. Whenever Sebastian saw a flash of red, an artist on the streets, the mesmerising crackle of flames or looks up at the stars. He’d cough up those annoying pink petals that scratched his throat and hindered his ability to properly speak at times. Sebastian ignores it, because it is something that he has lived with for the past seventeen years of his life. Albeit, it was without the flower petals. But he has lived with this irritating condition for so, so long, that he shoves the worry and confusion to the back of his mind and goes back to planning and preparing. (Sebastian pushes away memories of father sometimes coughing up what he later learned were daylily petals.)

Sebastian had no time for such thoughts and feelings. Time waits for no one. Heaven, and Hell, waited for no one. One couldn’t raise Hell without power. And he needed more of it-fast, before anyone could strike him down through Jace.

(His “brother” was a useful tool, but Sebastian couldn’t simply rely on one tool. He needed more.)

But he wonders.

He wonders if his sister would prefer to have some other clothes rather than wearing the ones Father had prepared in the hope his- her Mother would come around and joyfully leap back into his arms like she had never betrayed him, never left him for dead, never ran away from him. (How delusional of him. And yet, he prepares to do the same.)

Knowing Clary (and himself), she probably would.

#the mortal instruments #tmi #clary fray #sebastian morgenstern #jace herondale #jace wayland #jace has too many last names #AU #hanahaki #oneshot #angst #drabble #fanfiction #my writing #am i supposed to add anything else in the tags

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gyeommark · 5 years

Text

vagary . ii

Chanyeol x Reader Genre: Angst. Fluff. Smut in future parts. Words: 5.5k Warnings: Strong language, mentions of alcohol use. A/N: Now, I’m deeply sorry for the delay, as some might know, I was having some issues but part two is finally here. Didn’t proof read but hope you enjoy (or not hate it, at least)! A/N2: Since tumblr is a b*tch with the links, you can find Vagary’s mini masterlist on my blog along with links to my other works .x

The heaviness in your chest when you woke up threw you off onto an uncertain abyss. A feeling you hadn’t had in a long time. A fluttering nothingness.

You cursed to yourself, knowing very well that you had found yourself at the start of yet another rocky, dark, tormenting path and the welcoming sign had his name and face and, above all else, his endearing smile, all over it.

You judged yourself, trying to comprehend how it was humanly possible to dream of someone you had met only a limited amount of times through out the last month and yet he still haunted every nook and crevice of your mind.

“You’re doing it again…” Baekhyun huffed as he made you trip with his own foot as you two walked down the street after your lessons had ended, later than usual as the starry night looked out over you. You were thankful the day after was your day off.

“I’m doing what again?” You asked, clearly annoyed as you regained your balance and shot him the death glare.

“That thing you do when you’re daydreaming about something. I think they call it ‘smiling stupidly like a puppy begging for treats’… Just that puppies aren’t stupid but you, on the other hand…” Baekhyun laughed at his own joke as he tried to avoid the pinches and jabs you were throwing his way.

“I swear on everything that’s holy that I have no idea what you’re talking about right now”. You tried to shrug it off, sighing. Yes, you knew what he meant but did that mean you were going to admit you were thinking of a man continuously because it made you feel happy; or at least, less miserable, and that said man happened to be that friend of his he had been teasing you with continuously since you met him?

Hell, no. If needed be, you were willing to hold that secret close to your heart until the day you died, take it to your grave and up to heaven or down to hell, whichever way you would go after your passing, that didn’t really matter.

“Mhm… My dashing eyes may be on the smaller side but I’m not blind”. You laughed at Baekhyun’s comment. His confidence and self-esteem was something you strived to and one of the main reasons he was your best friend.

“Maybe not blind, just delusional”. You cackled as you struggled to open the door to your small apartment, hissing curse words under your breath. You made a mental note to call the locksmith to take a look at your front door.

“Hey!” He half yelled, half groaned as he smashed his hand onto the doorframe, blocking your way as he looked intently at you with furrowed brows and pursed lips. “Is it too much to ask to not have you insult me at any chance you get? I was just making an observation”.

As much as you wanted to maintain your offended expression, it was nearly impossible to do so with Baekhyun sporting his guilt-inducing pout. Not that it worked when it came to make you felt guilty, really, but the image of a grown man pouting was ridiculous so, to you, it was kind of funny.

“Well, I mean, delusional is not an insult but rather an adjective as I see it…” You tried to hold back your laugh as you pushed his extended arm out of your way.

“Oh, smarty-pants, I hope you drop your attitude before my showcase or I might as well take you off of my guest list and deprive you of a night filled with free drinks”. He threatened you with a finger pointing at you, dangerously close to your eyes.

“How could I survive?” You cackled as you replied sarcastically at him. “If only I worked as a bartender… Oh, wait”.

Baekhyun’s pout kept getting bigger, the more you talked back at him.

“Continue doing that. You wont get to see your precious Chanyeol boy until god-knows when”.

You wished, at that time, you had more self-control. You wished you could think before feeling and therefore before reacting. But you were either too dumb or too sentimental and, to your dismay, Baekhyun was too perceptive when he put his mind to it.

Maybe he had x-ray vision and he could see your stomach dropping to the ground at the mention of him; maybe he could see the hoards of whatever insect that were flying around your thorax, throwing themselves on to your ribcage, trying to escape. Maybe he could see you biting on the inside of your cheek and, maybe, he could see your heart beating with a fickle pace.

Maybe you were just too blunt. You probably had to work on that.

“Shut up. As far as I’m concerned, he’s your friend, not mine”. You shook your head before turning away from him and threw your bag someone behind your couch, trying to calm yourself down as you felt your hands start to tickle at the mere mention of a man you barely knew.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, you have far more interest in him than me but whatever…” Baekhyun scoffed and shrugged and you could still feel his eyes glued to your back; somehow, you knew he was smirking but you couldn’t brace yourself to turn around and smack him because you were far too focused on calming yourself down.

“Anyhow… I’ll let you to deal your mushy feelings by yourself”. As soon as you heard the door click closed, you groaned and threw yourself onto your sofa.

You had no idea how much time it had passed, since the lack of light indicated nothing whatsoever. It could either be 10 p.m. or two in the morning. Your sleep scheduled was already messed up so who gave a fuck?

Footsteps from around the corner startled you, yet not enough as to make you stand up.

“What the hell are you still doing here? I heard you come in like three hours ago”. You looked at your roommate, from the corner of your eye as you huffed.

“Too tired to move, Deb”. Besides Baekhyun, your roommate was probably the one who knew you the best, it was a shame they didn’t really get along… Or maybe it was for the best, if they united forces it would be the end for you and, honestly speaking, you weren’t really ready to deal with that.

“Tired from what?” She groaned as she poured herself a glass of water from the sink. “Arguing with your annoying friend over what’s-his-face?”

At her words, you immediately sat up straight, with a deep frown that was almost hurting your face muscles. Once she came back into your field of vision she swallowed her water and looked at you with a confused expression mixed with her remaining sleepiness.

Opposite from you, she had quite the organized life. Going to sleep early, taking morning classes and working part time on the afternoon, five days a week. You somewhat envied her determination and that, somehow, complimented your mess of a life, driven by pure dreams and desires.

“Did you hear that?” You questioned her, almost choking on your own saliva as you wiped your sweaty hands on your jean-covered legs.

“Well, I mean, your friend yells instead of talking, how did you expect me not to hear that?” You huffed, praying that she wouldn’t question you on Chanyeol. “And did you also expect me not to notice how out of it you’ve been? More than usual, I mean. I know its kind of like an artist’s trait but you suddenly started listening to corny songs while taking a shower? It’s kind of annoying but I mean, it’s none of my business”.

You pursed your lips into a hopeless smile, her words a confirmation that you weren’t as discrete as you thought you were and a strong motive for you to stay as far away from Chanyeol as possible.

It shouldn’t be that hard, you thought, he was just a fairly good-looking, charming acquaintance, that was it.

Park Chanyeol might as well become yet another meaningless crush. Like the ones you get when you’re riding the bus or the subway, or when you’re in line to check-out at the grocery store. He might as well be forgotten after a couple days, then again, why was he so rooted into your head after almost a month?

“Are you nervous?” You chuckled as you watched Baekhyun pace around the small excuse of a waiting room that the fancy bar had provided for him. You sipped on a beer, crossing your legs as you followed his restless figure as it moved from one end of the room to the other.

“Me? Nervous? Please, I was born for this” Baekhyun scoffed as he stole a daring glance from you. Where was Mr. Confidence when needed? You laughed at your own thought.

A knock on the door finally made Baekhyun stop on his tracks, you looked at the clock hanging on the wall, wondering if it was one of the staffs coming to tell him that it was his time to go onto the small, questionably stable stage.

You stood up, ready to leave when you saw a head peek from behind the door and immediately, your heart skipped a beat, quickly followed by a self scolding.

“Hey” Chanyeol smiled, messy hair almost covering his eyes, making you tingle all over. You hated the feeling, yet it felt nice at the same time. Bittersweet. “I just wanted to say hi before you went up and tell you to break a leg”. He smiled as he entered the room completely and your heart continued to not listen to your orders.

Baekhyun smiled brightly at him before stealing a glance in your direction.

“Remember my friend?” Baekhyun said, basically pulling you towards Chanyeol, you pursed your lips. “You could keep her company tonight, she’s bitter and doesn’t really talk to a lot of people unless forced to”.

Chanyeol chuckled and you wanted to look away from the dimple on his cheek but it was almost hypnotizing, drawing you in, making you angry at yourself for falling down that spiraling tunnel.

“How could I forget?” Chanyeol looked at you with his warm eyes and you had to remember how to smile but not too much at the same time. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep her safe”. Chanyeol chuckled as he extended an arm in your direction and grabbed you by your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

You wanted to sneak a peek but then again, that might make you stare. It was dangerous to do anything when it was around him. You were starting to think that even the most mundane of things, like opening your mouth would end up on you doing something idiotic, like forgetting how to close your jack back up and then finding yourself with a damp spot on your shirt.

Yes, it was stupid but you couldn’t deny the possibility of it happening, unfortunately.

Breathing was, also, something so foreign to you at that moment; it was ridiculous that some man could have that effect on you.

Baekhyun’s eyes flickered between you and his giant friend and you could see that glint of mischievousness on his eyes, knowing that he’d tease you even more after tonight yet, Chanyeol’s gentle touch on your shoulder made you push that annoyance to the back of your head, getting lost in the tingling sensation that started at the pit of your stomach and threatened to invade the rest of your body in slow, torturously bubbly tides.

They started joking carelessly after that, as if nothing happened, as if you weren’t basically running out of oxygen and turning blue, as if Chanyeol’s hand wasn’t still lying on your shoulder carelessly.

A man’s voice called Baekhyun out a few minutes after and you three walked out the room and you managed to shrug off Chanyeol’s hand, not because you wanted to loose contact but because you didn’t want to die, not yet, at least.

Two months. Almost two months was all it took for you to realize you were fucked. Close to sixty days was all you needed to develop some sort of ‘feeling’ towards Chanyeol. You didn’t know if it was just the excitement of having someone new in your life, someone who shared some of your ideas, some of your points of view; someone whose presence felt like a cozy blanket around you and a cup of warm chocolate between your hands.

Chanyeol felt comfortable and a simple graze of his hand on your shoulder was all it took for you to realize that your mind couldn’t escape Park Chanyeol.

You sat opposite from him on the small table, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible. A part of you wanted to be close to him though, brush your knee against his accidentally and just live off of that because that was probably as much as you could get and you would be fine with that, but you also didn’t want to seem desperate.

You picket at the skin around your nails, trying to ignore the silence that fell upon you in, even in the moderately loud ambience, trying to ignore his eyes practically burning a hole on your cheek as you scanned the stage, waiting for Baekhyun to appear.

Another bottle of beer suddenly appearing before your eyes surprised you, you looked at the waiter with confusion painted over your face yet you still mouthed a polite thank you before looking at Chanyeol, questioning him silently.

“Wouldn’t want to mix alcohols tonight, would we?” Chanyeol chuckled, half yelling at you. Such a simple action, him noticing how you were drinking beer at the waiting room was all it took for your heart to fly away to another dimension. You cursed under your breath, and even then, you couldn’t suppress the smile on your lips.

“Thank you”. You yelled back, struggling to catch your breath. Chanyeol smiled back and you wanted to tell him to not do that, that it was hard enough for you to just have him there but, of course, that wouldn’t be appropriate of you.

“You and Baekhyun seem quite close”. Chanyeol said after a couple minutes, leaning over the table. Your legs trembled seeing how his body got closer to you.

“He’s like an annoying brother, you could say” You laughed, looking at the stage once more, forcing your eyes away from Chanyeol’s face, flawlessly illuminated by the blue and pink lights, making him look even more endearing.

“He’s always had a pretty good taste when it comes to his friends, if I do say so myself”. Chanyeol chuckled and raised his eyebrows at you as he saw you gulping down on your beer, little did he know you were just doing that to avoid yourself from giggling like a dumbass, in reality, the alcohol consumption would only make things worse, but it was the only solution you could come up with at the moment.

“We’ll see… I’m still unsure about that”. That was what riled you up about yourself, how sometimes you couldn’t just stay quiet and couldn’t filter your thoughts. You weren’t sure if you said that to appear cold hearted or if you were saying it to sound flirty but Chanyeol’s eyebrows shooting upwards for a millisecond and him smirking as he leaned in even closer to you made you think it probably sounded like the latter.

“Oh, a doubtful one”. He chuckled, sipping on his beer before smiling widely at you. “I see how it is, then”. By that moment, you had already grown accustomed to the non-stop pounding coming from inside your chest, making your ribcage tremble with anticipation.

“You see, I barely know you, so…” You squinted your eyes at him before shrugging and mirrored his position as you leaned your elbows on the table, reducing the distance between you. A dangerous decision, indeed.

“Maybe you should get to know me better, then, and I will gladly prove you wrong”. Speechless due to his smooth answer, you refrained yourself and just smiled.

The lights dimmed right in that moment, something you didn’t know if you were grateful for or angry at, but then you saw Baekhyun taking his place in the middle of the small stage and you clapped and yelled loudly, remembering that the reason you were here was because of your friend and not because of Chanyeol, although your mind and heart still had a bit of trouble figuring that out.

“To Baekhyun”. Chanyeol said as he scooted his stool closer to you and tipped his beer bottle in your direction. You smiled, clinking your bottle to his before taking a sip and even then, the corners of your mouth were never able to return to their normal position.

Baekhyun’s voice took over the atmosphere at the crowded bar, it even muffled the murmur of people talking over the sound of the loud music, his voice was the type that was strong yet sweet at the same time, and you smiled even wider than you were doing before.

In the sense that you were happy and proud of him, not that it was that important, because who were you to have an important opinion anyways? But you still felt happy and proud of your friend’s accomplishments, and most of all, his happiness was contagious so, if Baekhyun was happy, so were you and if he was not… Well, if that was the case, he only turned into an annoying human being, period.

“He’s killing it”. You mumbled, realizing a little too late that you were thinking out loud and that there was still a certain presence next to you. Your eyes widened for a split second before giggling nervously as you drank yet another sip of your beer as you stole some looks form the corner of your eye.

Chanyeol laughed silently, as his shoulders moved up and down a little bit, just accentuating the fact that he, apparently, had a thing for working out and wearing tight black shirts.

“You have a nice smile”. You almost choked, putting down the bottle and looking at him with squinted eyes.

“And you have a loose mouth”. You scoffed, standing up and patting his shoulder unceremoniously. “I will need more alcohol for this”. You blurted out as you stepped away and practically rushed to the busy bar, too nervous to wait for a waiter to come around and take your order.

It was like having your body, mind and heart divided into two in the most obvious annoying manner. Chanyeol wasn’t making things easier on you, if anything, every single one of your inner issues had been enhanced ever since you realized you might have developed some sort of chemical reaction called ‘attraction’ towards him.

One half of your whole being was set on acting cold and quick-witted towards him, maybe that way he’d step away before it got too much to handle, yet the other part was almost falling apart at the mere thought of being close to him, seeing him smile or laugh at whatever you said, telling you sweet nothings that most likely meant nothing.

So, your response, -or getaway if you may- to all this was that of every responsible adult out there: alcohol. Curse your sarcastic, yet overly attached nature.

Well into Baekhyun’s second song, you were still standing at the bar waiting for your next round of beer. You locked eyes with your friend as he smiled widely while singing, earning an exaggerated thumbs up from your part. It was okay, it felt nice to forget the frenzy of his presence even if it was for just a couple minutes.

You turned around when you heard the mature looking bartender call you to hand you your two bottles of beer but then, when you turned around again, ready to head back to your torture spot, you felt something falling with a thud inside of your chest; nothing hurt, not really, there was just a hint of heaviness inside of you when you saw a new person sitting on the chair that used to be yours until just a few minutes ago.

But what enhanced the feeling wasn’t the new companionship but the fact that he seemed to be acting exactly the same towards her than he was doing with you before. Then again, who were you to feel special?

That’s when everything started to go downhill, more so than before. That’s when you realized you heart was starting to feel something towards someone you barely knew. That’s when you realized you were fucked up. If Chanyeol was truly insignificant for you, you wouldn’t have felt the thud when you saw him smiling and laughing with his glistening, round, puppy eyes and prominent dimple over something another woman was saying.

If Chanyeol was truly no one, you wouldn’t have cared, you would’ve just walked back to him and greeted the new acquaintance with a smile. But that wasn’t the case, your whole weight fell to your ankles and you hesitated on your spot.

Would you put yourself out there to potentially get your little, naïve heart broken or just leave and pretend nothing happened? Would you leave Baekhyun alone when he counted on you just because things didn’t turn out the way you were expecting with a man you could only, foolishly, crush on?

Hell no, but were you about to endure all that with a sober body? Again, hell no.

“You know what, give me a shot”. You said as you waved to the bartender, who only laughed a little before pouring you your clear looking and who stared at you with pursed lips as you downed it in one go, without a single flinch.

You took a deep breath, holding a bottle in each hand as you walked back to the table, trying your very best to maintain a poker face as got nearer and nearer to the pair who had made you take a stupid tequila shot.

Whether you liked to admit it or not, whoever the female was, she was good looking yet too petite for your taste, specially sitting next to Chanyeol. She raised her eyebrows at you, probably wondering who you were and what the hell you were doing there, interrupting their deep conversation. Hence the sarcasm, you were feeling bitter, so much it even translated onto your thoughts and probably your uncontrollable facial expressions, as well.

Chanyeol followed his friend’s stare until his eyes fell upon you again, maybe he had forgotten you were there and you wouldn’t be surprised, if you were being honest.

“Ah…”. He stuttered as he stood up, almost jumping and knocking down his stool in the process. His eyes frantically traveling from you to the other female. You tried to put the best, fakest smile you could. Not that you cared anymore, but you had to be polite, for Baekhyun’s sake. “Jiae, this is Baekhyun’s friend I was telling you about”. Chanyeol said with a smile as he introduced you two.

Maybe it was what the call the female sixth sense, or maybe you were too sensitive, or maybe it was that shot already having its scary effect on you, but you were convinced she already hated you.

Was that a reflection of what you were feeling, though? No, of course, you had barely met her, hate was a strong word. Dislike, on the other hand…

“Nice to meet you”. You pursed your lips onto a smile as you sat at the other side of the table, facing her as you pushed one of your beer bottles towards her. “Here, you can have it”. She gave you a small smile as she took the bottle in her hand.

Could that have been considered hypocrisy? You weren’t sure. You just didn’t want to make it obvious that you weren’t comfortable anymore, maybe your actions would backfire, then again, you didn’t give a single shit anymore.

After another ten minutes or so, as Baekhyun was taking a break somewhere backstage and you were almost finished with your second beer, you felt her eyes on you. You turned to see her with your eyebrows raised, trying your best not to appear arrogant.

“How long have you known Baekhyun?” She asked, smile not quite reaching her eyes. You cleared your throat as you leaned back. Her presence repelled you, exactly the opposite of how you felt when it was only Chanyeol and you alone. Chanyeol who had been far too quiet since you came back to the table.

“Couple years or so, I’m not sure”. You mumbled, hoping she wouldn’t hear you and she’d just let the forced conversation die without much effort.

“Funny, I haven’t met you before”. You had to take a deep, discrete, breath in order to maintain the rest of your questionably sober sanity in place and not let it disappear in resentment’s hands.

“Baekhyun doesn’t really introduces me to his friends, he fears they might like me better”. You said, almost chuckling when you heard the distant sound of Chanyeol’s stifling a laugh. Whether that was a good or a bad sign, you weren’t sure.

Once Baekhyun’s presentation was done and the loudness of the bar hit your ears at full volume once again, you felt like it was too much to handle so when you caught your friend walking over in your direction, you stood up once again, with the excuse of getting more drinks.

Chanyeol looked at you with wide eyes, mirroring your actions.

“Please, let me, you should keep her company”. You smiled, probably pouring too much bile on to your words, probably not. However he might interpret them was clearly not up to you anymore.

Baekhyun stopped on his tracks as he was just a less than a meter away from you and followed you suit once you were halfway to the counter, yet again.

“I see you’ve met Jiae”. Baekhyun chuckled, leaning his elbows on the slightly wet surface as you silently asked for another round of beers to the bartender, putting up four fingers in the process. “Isn’t she lovely?”

“If this is you trying to be funny, I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m not picking up on your humor right now”. You scoffed, trying to avoid eye contact as you also tried to avoid the painful rumbling in your chest.

Jealousy was a scary, funny thing, especially when you were too stubborn to acknowledge it in the first place.

“Okay, so the bitter evil twin is out to play now, I get it”. Baekhyun chuckled, emotionlessly as he copied your stance. “Should I have mentioned her existence before to spare me the burning and scarring your words are causing on my skin and soul?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows as he took a hand to his chest, mocking an inexistent pain.

“Why would you? It’s not like I should be interested on your friend’s life, anyways”. You mumbled, and even with the loud music and ambiance, Baekhyun was able to hear you perfectly fine, to your disgrace.

“Listen, you can pretend all you want with everyone else, act like the Ice Queen or whatever, but you’re never going to fool me. So what’s the deal if you admit you like someone? It’s not like the world’s going to end because of that, it’s a human thing… You meet someone, you like someone, maybe you date, maybe you don’t; maybe you just become fuck buddies, what’s the big deal”.

Baekhyun shrugged, stealing a glance from you, probably scared you would jump on his throat due to his accusing comments.

“The human reasonable thing to do here would be stepping away when someone you like, likes someone else, and actually has someone else. Chanyeol is a platonic crush and I won’t interfere with whatever he has going on with that Jiae girl; I don’t have the time nor the patience for that kind of drama”.

It was Baekhyun’s turn to scoff as he shook his head in either annoyance or disbelief.

“Here’s a friendly comment from your most professional, caring advisor. Chanyeol is a peculiar man with peculiar taste, a peculiar man who rarely opens up with anyone. If he, for whatever reason, chooses to talk to someone and get to know them is because that someone has sparked something in him… Then again, the relationship between him and Jiae is still a mystery to everyone because, like I said, he has like a phobia to opening up… Take that as you wish, it was just a comment”.

You looked at him with a slight frown and pursed lips as your beers appeared before you along with another shot, a glass you didn’t ask for but apparently there was an unspoken of, bartender psychic ability to spot an annoyed person.

“Please keep your friendly comments at bay when you know they won’t help and will just make things worse”. You huffed, turning around with Baekhyun trailing close behind you.

“So… Does that mean you like like Chanyeol?” You groaned, downing the shot and leaving the empty glass on an empty table that came across your way.

“Let’s act like I don’t, for everyone’s sake”. You shook your head as you looked down at your feet, trying not to trip over someone else’s feet, or your own, for that matter. The mixing of beer and tequila was something you weren’t approving of, then again, it was the best to drown your sorrows on. Unless they were too unbearable and then you had to add vodka to the mix.

Thankfully you weren’t there yet.

Yet.

You were a martyr but not a drunken one, thankfully. Or maybe you just loved to play the victim role.

You saw Chanyeol looking over his shoulder, he seemed quieter than before. Jiae had her arms crossed over her chest as she analyzed the now empty stage. Maybe she should’ve done that when Baekhyun was on, instead of having her eyes fixed on you, trying to burn a hole through your throat.

Meeting eyes with someone was a dangerous thing, regardless of the situation. Words were less than needed when two pairs of eyes met and, in this case, you wished you could’ve avoided Chanyeol’s gaze because it only made your chest feel heavier than it already was and it made your legs tremble more than they were already doing; no amount of alcohol could even come close to the effect Chanyeol’s dark eyes had on you and you wanted to reboot yourself, put a chip in your system that would prevent you from liking a man you’ve met less than five times before.

Chanyeol pursed his lips onto a thin, undecipherable smile as he stepped aside from his chair, extending an arm on the inanimate object’s direction.

“Take a seat, we’re short on seats”. His voice was low, raspier than usual. You cleared your throat before shaking your head a couple times and placing the two bottles you were holding on the table, a bit too strongly than necessary.

“I will share with Baekhyun”. You said back, an emotionless façade taking over your expressions.

It was easier keeping your distance than dealing with the overflowing, confusing emotions.

Once Baekhyun caught up to your comment, he nodded quickly, awkwardly sitting on one half of the stool as you took your place next to him.

Chanyeol was a tornado, your heart and mind were a house with a weak foundation and a lack of insurance. He had swap you off your feet only to drag you back down a bit too harshly to your liking, then again, there was nothing that needed to be said when you knew you had been the one to make a mistake.

The mistake of idealizing someone you only knew the name of but you couldn’t help the gravitational pull he seemed to have on you.

It would’ve been easier if you had never met his eyes. It would have been easier if you wouldn’t have gotten lost on his charming smile and sweet, smart speech.

It would’ve been easier if there was no Jiae but you knew there was a code. Whatever relationship they had, it was none of your business and you knew you shouldn’t interfere so you just smiled, a forced, surrendered smile.

You didn’t expect Chanyeol to notice, at that point you had forced yourself to admit that he would be the epitome of platonic in your life and that you had to be okay with it. You didn’t expect him to smile back at you with the same smile, he looked defeated and apologetic but you forced yourself to disregard him.

It was the logical, reasonable thing to do but Chanyeol’s mere presence made you question every decision and thought that ever crossed your mind and apparently, everyone in that table noticed it as well.

#chanyeol scenarios #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fanfiction #chanyeol angst #chanyeol fluff #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo scenarios #exo scenario #gyeommark writes #vagary

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cakerollk · 6 years

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FF Caviar Translation- Part 5

Part 5- Caviar

Caviar is a strange Food Soul. In the eyes of other Food Souls, he’s like a child who hasn’t grown up yet.

Even the youngest of Food Souls have already passed their age of delusional wishful thinking, but it’s no better than them laughing at Caviar who still always clings onto this entity called ‘God of Void’.

According to him, his eye patch is a type of seal. He can even see visions from an alternative world through his sealed eye.

Of course only those who are as obliviously happy-go-lucky as the Master Attendant would believe in this.

But apart from that bit, he is well liked by everyone.

Even though he doesn’t speak much, doesn’t know a lot about the outside world, and often times he’d say some strange things out of the blue.

But everyone can no doubt feel the concern that he has for them.

Which is why they would only snicker good-naturedly, sometimes they’d even indulge his prattling with a few words here and there.

While it’s true that Caviar’s personality is a bit more on the weird side, he always tries his best to treat everyone with gentle kindness.

He’s constantly out helping people with earnest, despite them never having asked for his assistance. He’d hide his face underneath his scarf and proceed to go red in the face after saying thank you.

This kind of boy is always well liked.

Caviar actually doesn’t know how someone who’s clearly gloomy and somber like himself could be so popular among girls.

However, ever since the arrival of that Food Soul named Little White, the once imaginative and idle Caviar had suddenly began acting more serious and grim.

He no longer shows that shy smile of his, instead he was constantly furrowing his brows.

He may not have realized this himself, but for other people they can tell that he was paying an unprecedented amount of attention towards this Little White girl.

Ever since that time Master Attendant got himself injured from going out alone, Caviar who’d originally only ever stuck by the Master Attendant’s side, began trailing after that girl named Little White one certain day.

That girl named Little White seemed very annoyed in this regard, but there was nothing she could do about it.

“Why are you helping him?!”

“I did it out of my own volition!”

“It hurts, doesn’t it?!”

“What’s it to you?!”

“If it hurts, you have to tell! How am I supposed to help you if you don’t?!”

“I don’t need your help!”

“Then don’t help him!”

“……I’m begging you, please let me go……”

“Absolutely not! You have to tell me! Or else I’m telling this to everyone!”

“……”

The girl clad entirely in white who, in the past, was able to have people scrambling away in fear, now showed an expression that no one has ever seen before to this man in black.

All the while, a certain trouble seeking Master Attendant who is completely oblivious to the fact that he is the main source of problem used his elbow to nudge at a nearby server.

“Those two match, don’t you think? One black and one white, their personalities are similar too. Oh, I’ve never seen Little White act like this before? Hey hey hey! I’m just babbling! Don’t smash my shop! Little White stop that! Caviar, you’re still not holding her back?!”

#food fantasy #ff translation #ff caviar #ff pufferfish #ff milt

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liskantope · 5 years

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“Can” vs. “can’t” feminism

At the American Democrat activism event I attended last week, several political clips of commentary and satire were prepared and shown, with the chosen finale being the recently viral song of otherwise-little-known artist Lynzy Lab called “A Scary Time”. I sat a bit uncomfortably in my chair, having avoided commenting on that choice of clip when it was being discussed in the email exchange beforehand. It occurred to me that my issues with the song reflect one of my main issues with modern feminist rhetoric which I’ve probably alluded to on this blog several times and was planning to write more of an effortpost about eventually. This song so perfectly illustrates it that I might as well do that effortpost now, I suppose.

Let me start with some disclaimers so as not to be misleading about my general position: I think that the song exhibits a very well-done form of satire that I respect to the point that I’m willing to overlook the uncharitable portrayal of men’s fears (because a little uncharitability is fair game in that type of satire, I think); I find the president’s “This is a scary time for men!” comment that inspired it to be asinine (at least using that precise phrasing in that context); and I’m all for women rising up and voting this November 6th in opposition to this asininity as the artist implores them to do at the end of the song.

However. [Long post to follow, loosely organized and written over several days.]

The other organizers of the event where this song was shown heaped lavish praise on it for “making such a good point”. And the thing is, I’d probably agree with them and see the song as completely unobjectionable -- or maybe a little hyperbolic, but what the heck, it’s satire -- if it weren’t for the context in which I place that feminist message among the general flavor of feminist messages I’m receiving on a daily basis that the other people there possibly aren’t. Age might have something to do with it; the other organizers are a generation older than me and I was clearly the youngest in the whole party. I make this speculation because I’ll be mentioning age and different generational perspectives later.

Anyway, without further preamble, what bothers me about this song, in the context with one of the general themes of today’s feminist rhetoric, is (to put it maybe overly bluntly) the particular way it portrays women are weak and/or even promotes weakness in women.

As far as I can tell, feminist rhetoric didn’t used to be this way. A generation ago, it was pretty much all about how women are strong and able and capable of doing anything a man can do. It was a “women can” type of feminism. This more modern type of feminism seems to be all about “women can’t”, as evidenced by a song written and sung by a woman who starts out every line with “I can’t”. Of course, this is an uncharitable way to look at it. There’s an obvious well-intentioned reason for all this I-can’t-ism*, which is that in order to get the message across about how serious a particular form of oppression is, it’s sometimes necessary to highlight how badly the victims are affected by it in a way that often boils down to them being unable (in some sense of the word) to do things that those with more privilege are able to do. But however noble the intentions behind the rhetoric are, I still have the right to be annoyed and worried about the consequences of taking it too far.

Since I consider the song such a useful example, I’m going to pick into some of the lyrics so as better to explain on a concrete level exactly my beef with all this.

If you want to quickly get to the main point of this post, feel free to skip this part. (Actually, I feel like the tone may detract from my real objective and am hesitant to leave it in. But aside from enjoying expressing the occasional snark, I’m curious to hear any responses/explanations from someone with some typical women’s experiences.)

Let me start by saying that a few of these lines, if not taken too literally (especially the “I can’t” part) seem probably valid, e.g. can’t go to the club just to dance with friends (if you don’t want to be hit on); can’t leave drinks unattended (at least in many bar/club scenes). Maybe some others are valid as well and I’m blinded from seeing that from male privilege, in some sense of that term. Certainly there are a couple of lines that just seem bizarre and make little sense to me, perhaps because I’m a man: “I can’t wear a mini skirt if it’s the only one I own” and “I can’t be wearing silk pajamas when I answer the door”.

The very first line similarly had me scratching my head: “I can’t walk to my car late at night while on the phone”, specifically the “on the phone” part. After thinking about it for a while, I realized it probably reflects a notion that one is safer from violent assaults when both hands are completely free to defend oneself. I’m not sure that this makes sense from a purely physical point of view (we’re talking about a small but heavy object that one can drop or throw at a moment’s notice), and I’m definitely skeptical that it makes sense when one considers that being on the phone makes it easier to call for help. In fact, I think the main reason I’m so confused is that I remember in my early days of walking outside late at night, in situations where I felt uncomfortable and worried for my safety, I remember my then-girlfriend suggesting to me that talking on the phone would make me safer; a potential assailant would be more worried about the consequences of attacking someone who might have a friend or family member on the other end of the line. I’m not sure that is entirely valid either. It’s just not clear to me what the safest approach is. But that song lyric suggests to me that, validly or not, at least since the time that my girlfriend was trying to help me stay safer over a decade ago, The Womanhood has come to the consensus that it’s unsafe to walk in the dark while on the phone and maybe my ex-girlfriend now knows this and if I were a woman I’d know it too?

Now let’s move on to what strikes me as the most preposterous line in the whole song: “I can’t use public transportation after 7pm”. Wait... what?? After the end of the political event where the video was shown, which was sometime past 10pm, I went home on the metro and -- lo and behold -- there were plenty of women on board. Sarcasm and overly-literal uncharitableness aside, suggesting that women have to face some intolerable risk or nuisance just by taking a bus or metro in the early evening seems like a reckless exaggeration. Maybe the artist just wanted a two-syllable number so that the line would scan better, but replacing that number by 10 or 11 wouldn’t affect the scanning that badly and in fact “past 11″ scans as well as “after 7″. Clearly, aiming for something that doesn’t sound ridiculously exaggerated (or that doesn’t scare girls inexperienced enough not to know how ridiculously exaggerated it is) was not one of Linzy Lab’s priorities.

(Just imagine if that line were really true, and the drastically restricted lifestyle a city woman would then be forced to have! If there were a legal 7pm curfew for women (the kind of thing some women within my radar hint they would like to see for men), that would practically amount to women being second-class citizens, and even without legality behind it they would still be right to feel that way in essence. Which I guess is precisely the sentiment the artist wanted to convey.)

One more line to pick apart before I move on. The final “I can’t” of the song is “I can’t ever speak earnestly about all these fears”. I’d be interested to know how everyone who endorses this line interprets it. As referring to not being able to speak out about one’s fears in some sort of uber-conservative bubble that routinely dismisses all concerns about women’s physical safety? How many Lynzy-Lab-type artists or American Democrats are stuck in that bubble? Again I suppose I wouldn’t know, but I can guess that most women with the fears expressed in the song speak earnestly about them on a regular basis with their woman friends and (this is important!) may well have gained some of those fears from other women or the general rhetoric in whatever left-wing circles they’ve hung around. And Lynzy Lab herself is performing an entire song earnestly expressing those fears in a YouTube video, one which immediately went viral and got her a performing spot on Jimmy Kimmel!

The way I feel about I-can’t-ism based on evidently exaggerated dangers boils down to this: when citing evidence to make a point (however valid or important), one should aim to convey the truth, exactly the truth, and nothing beyond the truth. (I suppose this is a variant on opposition to the “arguments are soldiers” mentality.)

Here are what I see as the main consequences of straying beyond the truth:

1) Possibly strengthened fervor of the cause (witness the effects of the president’s constant delusional fear-mongering).

(This is positive from the point of view of whatever cause one is fighting for, I suppose, but to the extent that the cause is based on claims that aren’t factual I’m not entirely in favor of it, and we’re going to be better equipped to go about actually fixing whatever the problem is if the fight to fix it is based on facts.)

2) An at-least-equal and opposite strengthened fervor in opposition to the cause. In particular, the more blatantly far from the truth the fearful rhetoric is, the more ammunition the opposition is given.

3) Overblown fears among the community one is trying to protect, and greater limitations because of those fears, especially among younger and less experienced members of that community. (I wonder how many more teenage girls just setting out into the world of being independent now have an idea that violent men are lurking around every corner and they mustn’t use public transportation past 7pm because they watched Linzy Lab’s song.)

4) Less strength in dealing with and worse reactions to everyday dangers or the ambient fear of them. I once discussed this a bit more at length.

I suppose (4) deserves a bit more delving into, in the context of Lynzy Lab’s song. One naïve way to criticize it is to point out (as I already pointed out in passing with some lines) that every one of the “I can’t” lines refers to something that women can do and in fact women do do... all the time! A defender of the song might reply, “Oh don’t be so pedantic and literal-minded! Obviously when someone in that context says, ‘I can’t X’, what they mean is ‘I can’t X without running the risk of suffering Y’.” But in my opinion, for questions of agency and ability it’s conducive of clearer thinking to start by taking “can’t” statements as literally as possible, because that sets us up for the above opposing point, which exposes that a potential question of the degree of risk and suffering has been obfuscated. “I can’t X” is essentially shorthand in many contexts for “Doing X puts me at an unacceptably high risk of an unacceptable level of suffering.”

And we should be able to consciously acknowledge that the amount of risk and the amount of suffering are tricky things to evaluate and might be up for debate. I’ve already focused on the amount of risk often being exaggerated or less clear than many activists make out that it is. Evaluating the amount of suffering as a result of various oppressive behaviors (e.g. catcalling, minor sexual assaults) is much more fraught with potentially insensitive and obnoxious discourse, and I just want to make clear that the type of reaction a woman (or anyone else) has to these things varies depending on the woman herself and an array of background circumstances** which are largely outside of her control and not her fault. But it might be helpful for women (and non-women) to see a possibility that they won’t necessarily suffer in the worst possible way from the range of horrible behavior they might face, that their degree of suffering depends on a lot of individual factors and if those are favorable might even be quite minimal.

My complaint isn’t that activists arguing for social change don’t always cite justification perfectly factually or that they might go a bit overboard in expressing their genuinely-held beliefs. It’s that pretty much nobody ever seems conscious of the risks in (1)-(4) above or at all mindful of a “don’t exaggerate” self-checking that should be present alongside “don’t downplay” and “don’t be timid and hesitant about telling it like it is”.

Is it really the case that feminism has evolved from focusing on “women can” a generation or to ago to the “women can’t” that seems prevalent today?

It’s hard for me to say, because while I’ve certainly noticed a change over the last 15 years, I wasn’t around for the feminism of the 60′s or even of the 80′s. I have to rely on the way I hear old-school feminism described by older people (it would also be nice if I read some feminist literature or followed some more layman-oriented discussions from those periods). I do often think back to something one of the middle-aged female professors in my old math department said to a group of us who were meeting to organize a department seminar to discuss diversity issues. I can’t remember her precise words or the context in which she brought this up, but to my best recollection it went something like this:

The whole time I was growing up and going to university and studying mathematics and engineering, it seemed like everyone was telling me all the ways I could be like a man. All I ever heard was “Women are as strong as men!” and “Women can learn and understand anything that a man can!” and “Women can do the same work that men can!” And then one day I woke up and had the sudden realization, “But wait a minute... I’m not a man! I’m a woman! Why should it be my goal at every turn to be more like a man?”

That speech touches on some other issues, and I don’t mean to shoehorn it too hard into the thesis of this post, but it’s an example of what I see as a “women can” mentality of women’s-lib-era (maybe second-wave?) feminism. Other anecdotes, along with the general way that older people in my life talk about women’s issues, suggest the same.

So why did feminism change from an emphasis on “women can” to “women can’t”?

One reasonable explanation that comes to mind is that the civil rights issues for women have themselves changed. (This would also apply to a similar evolution in the rhetoric for other social justice causes.) Sixty years ago, feminists were fighting for women to have legal rights to do things and societal acceptance of them doing those things. This lent itself to a message of “women can do everything men can do, don’t assume someone is incapable because she’s a woman”. Nowadays those rights have mostly been secured in the West, and the main grievance on the part of women is having to deal with various kinds of oppression (of a sort of that doesn’t involve society disallowing women to do something on the grounds that they’re incapable because of their gender). This can be overly-simplistically divided into opposition to reproductive rights (which has nothing to do with a perception that being female makes someone incapable of doing something, it’s just an oppressive restriction on what one is allowed to do and so we’re just left with “women can’t”), and having to deal with oppressive behavior (mostly in the department of sexual harassment/violence, which again leads to “women can’t”).

While that is part of it, I’m convinced that the evolution from “can” feminism to “can’t” feminism is part of a much more general movement being led by younger generations -- specifically, my generation of millennials and the generation just below mine -- which is tied in with the largely internet-driven de-stigmatization of mental illness, identity politics, preoccupation with labels, and other things. Those who have read other posts of mine probably have an idea of where this is going, and for me to fully explain where I make the connection would be another post in itself, but this is my theory about what drives the culture gap between generations as well the clash between old-school feminist rhetoric and the modern kind. It still makes sense to say, okay, why has this general change been brought about? I would posit that it’s a combination of what I suggested in the last paragraph, plus an increased understanding and culture of accommodation for emotional suffering and trauma which is naturally part of the arc of progress that carries us in the direction of Niceness, plus the usual dash of “rise of social media” thrown in. The result, in this case, is a somewhat ironic tendency for younger activists to characterize America as a much more terrifying place for women than older women who remember objectively scarier times do.

I don’t mean to fault “can’t” feminism entirely, of course. To some extent it makes sense, for reasons I already gestured at. But I do feel that if it’s dominating the rhetoric to the point that a woman’s song with two entire verses of lines starting with “I can’t” is representative of the discourse on gender oppression, then it might be time to revisit the roots of feminism as conveying the (I would think more empowering) message of how strong, capable, and independent women can be.

* I’m also in the habit of using a different term which is alluded to in the tags.

** I’ll be just obnoxious enough to suggest that one of these background circumstances is how much fear-inducing rhetoric one has been exposed to!

#feminism #Our Current president #2018 midterms #high vs. low agency #millennials on the internet #not as charitable as I could be

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