#thats been my non-angsty story

[phantomskeep]

WIP Wednesday!!

Omg I didn't forget!! Holy shit!!!

Anyways, this week's WIP Wednesday includes some bits from Putting the "Fun" Back in "Funeral"! Enjoy :)

...

Putting the "Fun" Back in "Funeral":

The piercing neon green of his eyes bled back into their usual icy blue, though the curious look did not leave. “Why’s that? And who names their kid Batman?”

Part of the City Spirit’s dark cloud tried to nudge him back towards his couch. “The Batman,” she began, “is a hero who operates to protect my city. He was born here and donned his cape in order to help those in need from the many criminals who call my territory home.”

Danny gave an involuntary awed noise. “So you guys have heroes here, too?” A dark tendril of smog wrapped around the back of the couch, resting gently against Danny’s neck.

The idea of having other heroes around was something that greatly appealed to Danny. Being the lone super-powered protector of Amity Park for so long took its toll on the young man, even with his human companions. It just wasn’t the same, being the only one with advanced abilities. He had to take the bigger hits, he had to be the one to save his friends if they got into too great of a bind, he had to be the one to try and take on the burden of Amity Park alone when they all went off to find their place in the world. With great power comes great responsibility, after all. And being the Ghost King? Well, Danny had more than enough "great power" to spare.

The thought was just as sobering as it was exciting. Other heroes, super or not, meant that there was something to have caused those heroes to come into play. Some great villain, or a world-ending disaster, or even large crime rates. Lady Gotham only said criminals, though, so maybe there were no supervillains Danny needed to worry about.

“Yes, in fact there is a large society of both heroes and villains.”

Well, it was a nice thought while it lasted.

“But many of the aliens you were so excited to hear about are among those heroes.” Gotham continued, not noticing Danny’s sudden mid-afterlife crisis. “There is the Batman, who is one of the founders of the Justice League. Superman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Arrow, and many others are all part of this superhero society - the Justice League.”

“Okay,” Danny was desperately trying to keep up with this sudden information. “So, Batman is a super-powered dude who helped to start an entire squad of superheroes?”

“He has no powers. The Dark Knight is just a man, same with Green Arrow and many others. They simply are able to keep up with the aliens, gods, and metas.”

Danny paused, taking in a breath. He touched his fingers together, pressing his palms flat. Another breath was taken, this one deeper than the last. With every ounce of teenage angst he still had within him, Danny lifted his hands up together to rest against his forehead before bringing them down in an arch that would have made Sam proud. “What the fuck.”

A laugh rolled from Gotham’s form, his guardian sneakily tightening her protective hold on him. “What the fuck indeed, Little One.”

“Okay, okay-” Danny’s voice cracked with indignation, “So regular every-day humans fight supervillains and are able to keep up with gods? And super-powered aliens?”

“Yes.”

“And one of those humans - who named himself after a bat - is the sole protector of your lair? Besides yourself? And he doesn’t let any of his superhero friends help him?”

“I never said he worked alone. Though, for a long time he did not have any help.”

“Lady G,” Danny said again with exasperation. “I repeat: what the fuck.”

Her only response was to laugh at his expense as he continued to moan about how he couldn’t seem to escape crazy people, no matter what dimension he runs to. The space shared by two multi-dimensional beings filled with an easy warmth.

“So,” Danny started after a couple minutes of his grumbling. “Superpowered people aren’t allowed in your city because one of your protectors is just a man in a… What, fursuit? A crime-fighting fursuit?” He paused, considering, before rapidly moving on. “But there are super-powered people in this dimension who are also heroes.”

“Yes, that is all true.”

The young man took a second, silently thinking, before speaking again. “Okay, okay,” He started. “And the chances that I’m going to have to just… steal all of these ghostly artifacts is pretty high, right?”

“Again, you are correct.”

“So,” Danny said, stretching out the word. “Chances are they’re going to think I’m some sort of villain.”

Gotham made a noise akin to two cars scraping against each other as she hesitated to answer. “There is a chance of that, yes.”

...

“Great,” he bemoaned, bonelessly flopping around his couch. “Guess it’s time to pull out the ol’ acting shoes. Welcome to Danny’s One-Stop Shop for Villainy.”

Mmmm Dead on Main my beloved :) Putting the "Fun" Back in "Funeral" chapter 4 should be posted sometime this week! I just need to actually finish writing a couple of POVs ^-^

[peachxpie]

Okay, I LOVE Dndads but unfortunately it was the first ttrpg podcast I listened to and raised my expectations so high it’s been damn near impossible to find more that are similar. SO, if you have that same problem I am begging you to listen to “The Neon Streets.”

It’s genuinely so funny, like just as funny as dndads, and everyone on it is so witty and hilarious. Genuinely they are so good at improv, and they’re very character and story focused like dndads is, which is great cause it can be a bit hard to find ttrpg pods thats main purpose is to tell a story. The amount I love this podcast is kinda crazy, it just has some of the BEST characters and best humor and talented people from almost any podcast I’ve listened to, it’s seriously tied for first along with dndads.

Season 1 is set in a cyberpunk capitalist world in the future with two main characters, Dizzy and Test, which may sound like too little compared to dndads’ four, but them paired with some of the best NPC’s ever makes it so you’re never bored or lacking on fun character moments. They are both forced under the control of an evil mass corporation, Test for almost his whole life, and Dizzy after being captured and coming out of cryo sleep five years later. They meet for the first time after being assigned to both of their first jobs under the corporations control, and from there the rest of the podcast consists of heartfelt moments of friendship, change, love, regret, piss, a shit ton of drugs, and so much more.

It’s seriously so good and while it’s one of the funniest prices of media I’ve ever consumed it does have amazing serious angsty moments, very similar to dndads. ALSO, if you’re interested, it has some of the best causal lgbt+ rep and especially non-binary rep that I don’t really expect a lot of the time when I’m consuming media, but I was so pleasantly surprised. They way they handle lgbt+ characters is so casual and natural, it’s so refreshing and such a nice feeling.

Genuinely I love “The Neon Streets” so much and I think it deserves so much love!! Listen to it if you have the chance because you WONT regret it! Also, the creators recommend listening to season 2 first, but definitely start with season 1. While it’s not necessary to listen to S1 first it’ll be a bit hard listening to S2 without knowing some of the easter eggs from S1.

Give it a listen, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!!!!

[dollivication]

mommy issues dmc3 dante sounds like a rlly good angsty+nsfwish bot,,, kick rocks,, hands behind my back,, :3

likeee thats actually a very nice concept to me dante is secretly rlly sensitive n im akshually a sucker for angst<\\\3 dmc3 dante is js a sad wet cat to me idk,,

bonus points if he wants u to breastfeed him when he feels sad or something:3

— 🍓

🍓non…. waddafuck yu literalry read my mind…..

nsfw!!!!! breastfeeding angst!!!! click off neow!!!!!

mommy issues dmc3 dante who just doesn’t want to think anymore!!! he feels soso shitty, so tired of everything he’s had to go through and reflect on and he just wants mommy to make it all better! (◞‸◟)

he’ll be uncharacteristically silent, the absence of a smirk and his usual volume almost unnerving as he crawls onto your lap, tugging down your shirt in a swift motion. if you’re hurling insults at him, it’s nothing he bothers to listen to, his lips going to wrap themselves around a nipple.

dante hollows his cheeks, swirling his tongue around with desperation akin to that of an animal’s starving young. a gloved hand goes to squeeze and knead at the other mound, watching as the cream-white beads gather into a small streak down his arm.

the halfbreed suckles on the bud between his lips, swallowing repeatedly to engrave the taste of a mother’s milk in his mouth. to remember what it had been like before he was stripped of a proper youth and family. abandoned by innocence in order to survive.

he doesn’t mean to be greedy. it’s just not what good boys do. but could you really blame him when he’s been deprived of you for so long? dante knows, that no matter what he does, you’ll never kiss his boo-boos, read him a bedtime story, or run your fingers through his hair.

mommy looked sickened to be breathing the same air as him.

dante’s stomach churns, and he forces his eyes shut, only suckling that much harder to numb the thoughts. please just let him be selfish, if just this once—maybe the next few times. hate him, curse him, but please don’t be cruel enough to continue to bereave a boy of his mother.

andding mommy issues dante to the wips giggles…. it’d be a crime if i didnt methinks (＞人＜;) !!!!

[nerves-nebula]

i dont usually do tag games but i liked this one, tagged by @alighted-willow

20 questions for writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4 (technically 5 but i abandoned and privated one of them) on my main account and 9 on my smut account

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

37,751 on my main, around 47,000 on the porn account

3. What fandoms do you write for?

uhhhh dimension 20 (not really but it was my first posted fanfic) and tmnt. i write mainly about one other fandom on my smut account tho.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well i've only got about 5 of them so i'll just put them in order

caracal carousel

show me already

time to think

a modest comparison

it's my turn on the Being Abusive

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

most of the time. i do it to encourage people to comment, because really really like comments. but if i get a comment i SUPER like i put off answering it because i wanna give it the time it deserves. ironically that means i have yet to respond to some of my favorite comments. oops.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

idk i think they're all pretty equally angsty. like a lot of them end with the implication that more abuse is going to happen after the story's been concluded, lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

definitely Show Me Already, it's the only one that doesn't end with someone feeling like garbage or implying some kind of abuse is about to happen. just an alien brain slug excited to make his boyfriend happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i dont think so? I think someone commented something rude once on one of my smut fics but im not great at telling tone so idk.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yup, the fucked up kinky kind that could get me harassed by ppl who's opinions i dont care about but who would prolly be really fucking annoying to deal with

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nah

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

idk

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, that sounds stressful

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

thats like asking what my favorite song is like how da hell should i know they all serve different purposes.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

GOD. on my smut account i have an outline for a 2 chapter fic and i posted the first chapter and never the second one. it haunts me. idk if i WONT do it but it wont get done any time soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i can write ok and people like it :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i dont know enough about writing as an art form to properly assess my weaknesses :(

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

too complex a question for this kind of game. if i were to do it i'd want to get the input of someone who like, actually speaks it or something. but idk. i'd try my best on my own, cuz im unlikely to find someone willing to do that kind of beta reading for me, and though i'd want to compensate them somehow i'm so fuckin broke.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dimension 20 Starstruck Odyssey. i think it was the first fanfic i ever wrote and posted and i have no idea what drove me to it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

hhhhhhhhhhh this really depends. I have a lot of fun writing about abuse and since that's what basically all of my fics are about in one way or another it's like. idk. i've re-read my smut ones more often than my non-smut ones tho so uh, maybe one of those.

[emanation-aura]

Weird questions for writers, 19 and 38!

This is a response to this post about questions for writers!

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Wow, so uh. Maybe this is a common origin story for writers my age, but I started out on Wattpad? It must have been about 2014-15 or so when I began; I have vivid memories of hopping off a flight and impatiently waiting to be driven home after vacation so that I could use my iPad to type the next chapter to my fic there, haha.

I started writing Pokemon fic, specifically of the X&Y Pokemon anime. I dunno if people here know this, but there used to be a fic genre there called "Ash gets betrayed by his friends" that was super popular, and I wrote a version of that too— it was my first fic (I named it "Heartbroken") and I made so many poor and melodramatic choices with it, but also i look back on it fondly. Some of the stylistic choices there survive in my writing there. Apart from that fic, I also wrote stuff for Star Wars Rebels, Percy Jackson, and Ranger's Apprentice (so typical YA stuff).

Why I started... well that's kind of difficult to answer, because I honestly I don't know. But it may have to do with that spidey-writing sense I get sometimes when reading or engaging with fiction, the desire for a story out of what I know.

There were a couple of major "incidents" that spurred me on the path of the fic writer: one was reading this AoT fic (tw graphic self-harm) and this Maze Runner fic (tw grief, suicide, psychological torture). Ok maybe this sounds bad on the surface but I am legitimately convinced that reading these at a young age made my writing style what it is today: a bit purple-prose-ish, slow and contemplative, chock-full of emotion and introspection, always, somehow, sad or angsty. (and they end up touching on the topics mentioned above, although most of the ones that do I don't publish.)

As for closer to the present... well, I really hit the ground running when I started writing Genshin fic. It's pretty much the beginning of my "modern style" (or stuff that I can read back through without cringing), and I want to keep developing that: writing sadness and grief and pain is deeply cathartic to me, and outside of lore studies, those are what I will be focusing on in the future. (...currently staring at the inordinate number of angst WIPs I have.)

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

In all honesty, most of my fic is kind-of vent fic, just more verbose and coherent that what the name 'vent-fic' tends to evoke. I need to be in a really specific kind of mood to write angst/hurt/comfort (my staple), and for a long period of time, I was perpetually in that state, which made creating... not easier, maybe, but something else that spurred it on. I'm not like that now, but the emotional intensity needed to create and convey hasn't left me, either.

Putting it this way: i need to find or set myself into a Mood(tm) to find my creative juices. It's weird because I can and do write when I'm mentally fine, but sometimes the low mood makes things sharper and easier to convey. These days, I usually put on music to do this: not just any generic songs I like but specifically stuff I've curated from listening non-stop 1000s of times before I keep it on the "dopamine injection" playlist. Stuff like that speaks to me in ways that makes me feel probably far too much, and it puts me in the right (or wrong, I guess?) state of mind to pour emotion onto the page. Cause thats what it is for me: if I don't feel emotionally destroyed by what I'm writing then what even is the point?

In lighter terms: anybody is free to ask stuff in general, not just from the question list, in my askbox whenever. Please. I love talking about writing (why write when I can talk about writing)

[saltyr3mix]

Hello!

Greeting. Ladies, gents all of the above,below and in-between. Tis' I Salt. yes like the rock, that you put on chips. why thats my name is a story for another day. Today im here to introduce myself.

You can call me Salt, or R3mix. (still pronounced Remix).

Im a minor. and currently identify as an ace, lesromanitc, non-binary/ don't know whats up with my gender anymore so i am experimenting.

Im an ambnivert, ENFP, Aries. Not that that stuff matters i just think its neat.

i draw and write for the many fandoms im in and even have a few stories of my own! The fandoms im currently into are Welcome to Dreamworld, FNAF, Undertale/Undervrese, TOH and MYCT (Outsiders, Pirates, Newlife, Rats.)

i mainly post fan art and fic updates, go on long rants about characters that take up way too much of my brain. And occasionally share some oc's!

My Ao3 : https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_R3mix/works

Some of my on going multi-chap fics and their summery:

-These walls scream you name - Demon Owen causes problems featuring very angry Magic, Apo in denial, traffic series members as watchers. (outsiders)

-To learn from the tragedies - At the end of episode 11 of WTDW all the animatronics get time traveled back 10 years. (welcome to dreamworld)

-Is this truly me? (am i going insane) - Pirates find a cursed sword that gives them memories of past lives/severs.(myct)

-Shattered Dreams - I re-wrote WTDW episodes 12-13 to make it extra angsty and sad. (welcome to dreamworld)

-Salts self indulgent OC's x Outsiders au - in the title. i threw a bunch of my own and some friends myct related oc's into the death maze for fun. (Original work and Outsiders)

My amazing partner who talks about a lot of our lore and silly little ocs in the best ways: https://www.tumblr.com/dragon-phoenix-along

Some other folks to be aware of are hurtmionedanger, voids-call, and crikkit-kitterton who are some of my besties and we will often get into random antics with each other.

Anyway, thought i would update this since it was kind of old and i had been updating some other things so yeah! This is me i guess.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

4 and 19 for the salty ask game

you didn't specify a fandom but im pretty sure you followed me for owl house stuff so i will assume you meant the owl house fandom.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

lmao if youve followed me for any time at all you would know i fucking hate the huntlow ship. huntlow ship my beloathed <3< <3< <3< :333 at least how 90% of the fandom portrays them. ppl will see a white angsty boy and immediately find the one shippable girl and file down all her character and make her his emotional support decoration.

to be clear, huntlow in the actual show is fine. i don't think them getting together would add anything to their character arcs, and since the show is running on a tight schedule i think they should have just cut that subplot out. i think there are ways to make them interesting but the show doesn't have any time to do that. there's barely anything substantial about the ship in canon anyway so i think it's fine. it's ignorable if you dislike it and its enough to extrapolate into a funny post canon ship if you do. my opinion on huntlow in the show is like my opinion on gustholomule. it's fun to consider but it's obviously not important to the story i actually care about.

but the shippers??? hoooo the shippers. first of all while i don't like to think about most fandom stuff from the stance of representation it's really important that owl house is like. THE gay cartoon rn. the creator had to fight tooth and nail and write around a bunch of stuff to get queer couples on air and make the fandom more receptive to it outside of a fetishistic thing or a "cute background couple that everyone acknowledges is canon but no one actually explores" thing. and then the moment a blond boy looks at a girl everyone explodes. im not calling ppl bigoted for shipping it bc i dont know the exact reasons every single huntlow shipper likes the ship but the fact that they also try to use rep to justify it? even though 90% of them didn't give a shit about the non white boy half of the ship before the ship became a thing? not a great look for the average huntlow fan lmao.

also the mischaracterization of both characters, especially willow, is super annoying. it shouldn't be a hot take but characterizing willow to be a brute that tries to beat up everyone who looks at her wrong? and indicating that hunter, a survivor of child abuse, is attracted to her because of this? uhhhhh don't like that! its one thing to portray this and explore why its bad but that sure isn't what 90% of the shippers do! youre allowed to depict any dynamic you want but im allowed to say that depiction sucks shit! same with making willow to be either a 50s housewife or a manic pixie dream girl she isn't any of that? literally just make a self insert to ship hunter with if you want his ya love interest ass so bad.

anyway ive complained more about the huntlow ship and its place in fandom here, here, here, here, here, and here, among others. a lot of my points are in the tags lmao. that isn't to say all huntlow shippers are annoying some of them make genuinely good content thats in character for both of them! but the shipping community is. bad. and i already didn't care for the ship anyway so they haven't made my opinion better. it was a mistake for the show to put hunter's conventionally attractive angsty ass into a shippable position lmao.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I think part of this phenomenon is because the fandom skews younger since at the end of the day toh is a disney show rated for kids. but there's a phenomenon ive seen with a lot of young skewing fandoms where fans assume just because the thing they like is diverse, that automatically exempts them from being bigoted or even having implicite biases. like "i cant be racist my friend is black!" but it's with fandoms so they have even less of a leg to stand on. ive been guilty of that too in the past and im trying to examine my biases both in fandom and more importantly in real life.

the fandom has a serious favouritism towards the white and/or male characters. just look at the disparity of opinions on the blight parents, even before clouds on the horizon. or even better, before s2 when all we had on them was just a background shot in lilith's flashback. people were already portraying odalia as a catty evil woman and alador as his uwu tortured husband whos scared of her, before we even knew their names.

same goes for other female villains compared to the male ones. all the villains are different so there isn't a one to one comparison but generally, the reactions to villains like darius (right after his first appearance in edas requiem) and graye were a lot more nuanced. most people who talked about them were trying to write meta about them or finding them sexy or thinking about a redemption arc.

and compared to female villains like terra or kikimora? i am serious about this they were objectively more compelling villains than darius or graye in their debut, if you discount kiki's minor appearances in s1 and just look at hunting palismen, her first episode as a major villain. and yet most people talking about terra and kiki after the fact were just calling them bitches or other more sexist stuff i won't say. and being mad at them for...doing bad things to the protagonists? bc they're villains? i get the lack of thirsting but no serious meta? ive grumped about it here. also i wasn't in the fandom during the week between agony of a witch and young blood old souls where everyone wanted lilith's head on a stick but from what ive heard? yyyyeah i don't think they were just mad at her for being a villain.

same thing with the white characters people always give so much more focus on the white characters compared to the poc. luz had a bunch of angst like amity in season 1 but 99% of lumity content focused entirely on amity angst. the hyperfocus on hunter is something to note too. i get that fans love angsty characters. i do too. but him being a white boy definitely didn't hurt his popularity lmao.

its a problem in the show too so not all the blame falls on fans. the show focuses on majority white characters as well. even though the show is very racially diverse, luz's most important relationships except her mom are eda, amity, and hunter, and gus and willow are pushed to the side. same thing with their portrayal of some female characters i love what they did with terra and kiki but their portrayal of odalia...oof. i've grumped about that here.

but yeah if you point this out a lot of fans get uncomfortable or even angry at you for accusing them of, in their eyes, being a Bad Person who likes Bad Things and have Bad Thoughts. so they argue back that there's no definitive proof that any biases are happening on a personal basis. and yeah i can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law that you're actually secretly racist or sexist but if you just look at general trends in the fandom? the bias is there. it's not a problem of individual people it's a problem of fandom culture.

anyway i don't want to say fans who do this are bad people because judging by the ages of some fans toh might be baby's first fandom for some of these kids. they haven't had enough life experience to really examine their biases or even determine their principles. it would be mean to condemn kids for having biases, especially since i also did that at their age and i'm still trying to deconstruct my biases now. these kids need to learn about nuance in media and also that fandom is not activism, but it's not my job to teach them this. this is annoying but it's a reasonable price for being in fandom. especially a fandom for a show targeted at kids.

[liverobinreaction]

Hey, I just wanted to say I love Banshee in a well. I've re-read it so many times. I know the next chapter will probably be angsty but I just imagine Tim casually telling his family all the brutal ways he's been killed and Dick starts crying and Tim's just so non-chalant like "Dick, I'm trying to tell a story here".

ALFJEKFJWNDJSKHD THATS SO ON BRAND THOUGH he'd really just be like :/// bro your crying is kinda ruining the ambiance

Anyway THANK YOU im so so happy to hear you enjoy it, and that you reread it as well!!! That's always one of the best things to hear as a writer, and it makes me grin so so madly when I hear it. Next chapter will hopefully be up soon, this semester of my masters programme is just a lot more active than expected compared to last semester!

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[casnextdoor]

Gonna Love Me

A/N- Gonna Love Me has literally been in my drafts since August of last year. soooooooooo, i went back and edited what i had and then finished the storyline but beware,,, the last half is absolutely NOT EDITED OR BETAED ! also this is my longest work yet… cuz i have zero patience,, so…. yeah. Enjoy!

Summary- Two high school sweethearts get together for one more night of nostalgia.

word count- 4.4k

pairing; Taehyung x Black!Fem!Reader

Genre- Non-Idol au, Angst, Fluff, exes to lovers

Warnings- Swearing, Illusive mention of sexual content, angsty shit, reader is specifically a black woman so if thats an issue, leave ig, if i missed anything— my bad.

———————————————————————

You were woken up from your restless sleep by the pelting of pebbles on your window.

The digital clock on your bedside table read three thirty-three am. You rolled your eyes at the irony before blinking the fuzzy feeling of sleep out of your consciousness.

The pelting didn’t stop. Only continuing and becoming more frequent, rotating in four second intervals of quiet before another round of three pebbles in a row.

Pelt, pelt, pelt. Silence.

The silence in between pelts was loud. The drafty air whipping around the room— due to the very creaky ceiling fan — blew the baby hairs loose from your bonnet and whooshed through your ears eerily everytime the pelting stopped.

The eeriness of the silence made you roll out of bed and pad over to the window.

You lifted the window and poked your head out to look down at the front lawn of your childhood home.

Being back home was weird. Five years away, building your career only to return to a place that was frozen in time. Nothing had changed. The gossiping popular girls in high school still gossiped at their jobs in the diners. The drug dealers still dealt. The weirdos were still weird, but they made a living out of it. Nothing had changed. But weirdly, everything had.

Everything had changed, but unsurprisingly, this didn’t. He was still ever the night owl outside of your window trying to whisk you away.

Two stories down, leaning up against the old oak tree you’d grown very familiar with, was Kim Taehyung. Clad in a black leather jacket and black skinny jeans, he made pulling from a cigarette one of the most attractive things you’d have the selfish pleasure of witnessing.

He shot you a cheeky grin that gleamed in the moon before exhaling the smoke and tilting his head to the side.

“You’re back in town.” It wasn’t a question. He rode past your parent’s house everyday to get to the compound. This morning, as he rode past, he caught a glimpse of that same 2010 Kia Soul you’d been driving since your senior year of high school.

Even after all these years, you’d held onto that piece of shit car. He chuckled inwardly a little at the memories of all the times he’d changed your tires or taken you to get a tune up because you were, quite frankly, the worst at keeping up with your car.

He’d loved that about you back then. You never made him feel useless, but you never took advantage of his time.

“Who even smokes cigarettes anymore?” Your voice was hoarse with sleep but still so very soft. He could count on his hands how many times he’d tumbled off of the edge to your voice. Even after five years, you were still so soft spoken and it had him chubbing up in his jeans.

He just shrugged. That aloof, nonchalant shrug that used to make you want to punch him and fuck him all at the same time. It paired well with the little smirk he wore on his boxy lips. He’d mastered the art of making you lose your cool with just his body language.

“What is it, JD?” He laughed out loud at that, pulling another drag from the cancer stick and shaking his head at you. He wondered how many times you’d watched Heathers after leaving home. It was your favorite movie and by association, his too.

He shrugged that stupid nonchalant shrug and exhaled the smoke. “Thought I’d come see if all the rumors were true. Hyejin says you stopped at Pops for fries. Said you got fat.” You rolled your eyes, she told you that you looked good.

You hummed, leaning on the seal of the window, as he stomped out his cigarette and subconsciously shook his dark, wavy hair. His tongue swiped over his bottom lip before he glanced back up at you through his lashes.

“Let's go for a ride. For old times sake.” He watched you bite back a smile.

You shook your head, the silk bonnet moving everytime the tuft of curls underneath moved. “I don’t know, Hyejin might tell everyone you’re seeing me again. You remember how that went last time.” He knew you were joking, but Hyejin had it out for you since middle school. You were the only black girl in your class and that carried over into high school and adult life. You stuck out like a sore thumb. And that didn’t include your ability to have the worst attitude known to man and your inability to, for lack of better words, shut the fuck up. Taehyung had grown to love you for all of these flaws and more, and somewhere down the line, you’d started to love him too.

Too bad things don’t always work out how you intended them too. It was a shame, you’d say to yourself later on, you had so many plans that you’d drawn him into. Now you were working toward those dreams and he wasn’t in any of those pictures.

He only shook his head and gestured over toward the sleek black motorcycle he’d loved almost more than you. He’d kept up with it over the years, leaving the paint to only be chipped around the tires and for the rust to be minimal. You loved that bike more than words could really express. There were so many memories attached to the old bike.

“Put on a jacket, you’ll get cold.” You snorted, in all his aloof attitude he still cared about your well being. Hyejin would die if she’d see him right now. Twenty-five and still waiting on you hand and foot.

You pushed back into your room, snatching the bonnet off of your head as you went. Your fists collected the damp curls and secured them at the base of your head – helmet hair on you was not a good look.

You slipped your own black leather jacket over your choice pajamas and cringed at the clash of colors that was your outfit as you stared in the mirror but decided against an entire outfit change– it’d take too long. You’d tiptoed down the steps and wiggled your feet into your outside slippers and slipped your house keys into your jacket pocket. You tiptoed out the door without a second thought.

He looked as good as ever sitting on his bike. The years had done him well, you decided. You could feel your chest tighten as you closed in on him.

He still took your breath away, no amount of time would change that.

“Still riding around without a helmet I see.” His eyes snapped up to you and his breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t the only one who had filled out over the years. Your hips had rounded out, leading to a beautiful set of plush thighs and nice legs. Even through the loose pajama bottoms, there was still so much to see. You had the same beautiful eyes and nose and the one dimple deep enough to drown him. You just seemed more mature now. Adulthood was your prime, it’d seem.

“What, cat got your tongue?” He rolled his eyes, ignoring the way his heart fluttered a little. “Still don’t know how to shut the fuck up, huh?” The corner of your lip lifted at that as you approached him.

“You used to love it.” You swung one of your legs over the back of his bike and settled in behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle.

“Hold on tight, chatterbox.” He glanced at you over his shoulder, laughing when your only response was a small bite on his clothed shoulder.

The entire ride was nostalgic, like an old tv show or a discontinued candy. He didn’t talk. And neither did you – the sounds of the city were enough for you. He’d peek back at you whenever he could, just to steal a glance at the way your face would glow under all the street lights. You were always beautiful, even in the unknown of the night. It was about fifteen minutes before he could muster up the courage to disturb your peace.

“How ‘bout a slushie, princess?” You giggled and he could see the two rows of glimmering teeth without even looking back. He could imagine you in any light. He saw you in everything he did, five years and no contact didn’t change anything. “Yeah, I could use something to drink.” And with that Taehyung obnoxiously revved his bike up and sped off to the best twenty-four hour mini mart in the sleepy little town.

__________________________________________

The mini mart didn’t change. It remained in dire need of a paint job just like when you were high school. The lightbulbs still flickered ominously and the entire store still reeked of fried foods. You could recall more times than you can count where you and Taehyung had found yourself here – even when you weren’t supposed to be.

And just like in highschool, Mr. Choi sat behind the counter with the same warm smile he was known for. His eyes lit up the minute you walked in and he clapped happily as if you were a celebrity. “Miss Y/n. How long has it been?” He croaked in his familiar gleeful drawl that you’d come to love.

“Five years. How are you, Mr. Choi?” You asked politely as Taehyung brushed past your figure in favor of approaching the humming slushie machine. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he fills a big cup with the blue semi frozen drink – he still remembers your favorite flavor. You kept polite conversation with Mr. Choi as he filled you in on what was going on in his life (San and Wooyoung moved in together just like you knew they would). He’d even asked for your number, just so he could put you in contact with San – making sure to mention how much he missed you since you left.

The conversation was coming to a close when Taehyung approached the counter with a box of Mike n Ikes, skittles and a large slushie filled cup – two straws because he remembered how much you hate when he drinks from the same straw as you after he smokes a cigarette. He dropped the items on the counter and waited patiently as Mr. Choi rang up all your items just as he had when you were younger. Everything about this exchange reminded you of why you came back home.

With the air of Nostalgia still circling you like a blissful wind, you lazed around on the little bench outside, tucked off in the darkest corner of the store. He opened your straw and put it in the drink on the left side of the lid and put his on the right side. He opened your skittles and it was right about that moment that you realized how normal this all felt. How much you felt like the same seventeen year old girl who let Taehyung whisk her away in the dead of night for anti-climactic adventures like these. Now you are twenty three. You were an adult with a whole life somewhere else – this had to be torture for him. You had to remind yourself that he decided to stay here, in this little town.

You remember feeling like you were going to suffocate if you hadn’t left. There were so many attainable dreams outside of your home and you wanted all of them. His life belonged to the streets you grew up on. He said so himself when you begged him to leave with you right after your graduation. That was the last time you spoke to him.

“What’s on your mind, princess?” You glanced up from your open pack of skittles to meet his intense glare. Time had really done Kim Taehyung well. His chest filled and he was no longer the lanky eighteen year old boy who bought the motorcycle with two months worth of yard work money. His face was familiar but it’d changed. His once child-like features had now sharpened into those of a grown man. His boxy grin remained though. His eyes were still sharp and he had a few years worth of stories to tell written across his face. In the soft glow of the moon and artificial lighting, he was a man, the man you still loved so much.

Your lips pursed as you mulled over everything you could possibly say to him. Five years worth of words you wished to tell him – whisper it to him like a secret on the moon and stars would bear witness to. So many stories you're sure he’d laugh at. So many experiences you wished he’d been there for. You wanted to yell at him for not coming with you. You wanted to cry into the cracked leather of his jacket and tell him how much you just wanted him there. You wanted to call him selfish for not following you anywhere like he’d promised he would. To call him out on all the empty promises he’d made. So much to say and yet…

“I missed you.” You settled for instead. His face didn’t change except for the arch in his right brow and the slight twitch in his lips. He knew it was something else but he wouldn’t push, not when he had you right here after so many years. He sighed. “God, you don’t know how true that is for me, too.” You could feel his stare better than you can see it and he was only a few inches away. A bitter taste blossomed on your tongue and words were being spewed before you had time to rid yourself of the taste.

“”I’ll follow you anywhere’ huh?” He let out an even deeper sigh, this one coming from the depths of his stomach where he could feel the guilt pooling. He didn’t say anything. He knew you had more to say and he wouldn’t let you walk away until you had said it all. And just like he knew you would, you kept talking. “I mean, I had so many plans for us. I’d go to school and study and you work toward opening that garage like you wanted to so badly. We’d be engaged or married by now. Maybe I’d be pregnant. But instead, I’m dating and having meaningless sex trying to move on because christ sake, Y/n, you were fucking eighteen! What did you expect? But I can’t shake the feeling that we would’ve lasted forever.” You took a deep breath and shut your eyes to rid yourself of the tears you felt pooling in your waterline. You purse your lips again, this time just trying to keep in the three words you wanted to say so bad. And like a whisper from the universe told him to, Taehyung spoke.

“You saw us getting married?” You could help the scoff-like chuckle you let out and that made a boxy grin break out on his face. That was all he needed at that moment. A reminder that no matter what happened back then, he was still your boy. Your number one. He could still make you smile or laugh, regardless of the situation. So with that feeling, he let himself be vulnerable in the dark corner right outside your favorite convenience store. “I meant what I said. I would follow you anywhere. But when the time came, it all felt too… real. We were kids, baby. I wasn’t ready for that.” He reached out and grabbed your hand. His finger traced over the crooked ‘T’ on your finger that had long since faded. He smiled at the memory of your pinched face as an eighteen year old Taehyung poked you over and over again with a needle until the ink was permanently decorating your finger. ‘Your ring. Until I can buy you a real one.’ He remembered saying and watching proudly as you smiled at him. He was so naive to believe you’d be his forever.

“And now, you're successful. You’ve got a whole life away from here. Friends, a job. Maybe even a partner. I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed my chance.” You scoffed at that. You weren’t one to usually anger quickly (Taehyung and all your high school friends would one hundred percent call you a liar if you ever said that out loud) but something about him giving up so easily pissed you off. He was supposed to fight for you. All of you was hoping that when you came home, you’d be able to try again. But only if he was willing to work for it.

You stood up, snatching your hand out of his hold harshly. He watch on confused as you crossed your arms over your chest and shift all your weight to one leg – your trademark stance that came together right before you blew up like a bomb of attitude problems.

“So that's it? ‘I feel like I’ve missed my chance’? That’s all I get?” You weren’t yelling, more like, speaking louder than usual. He sat back against the bench, legs naturally falling into his default manspread. Confusion was still scrawled blatantly across his face but now a hint of aggravation had joined the already confusing mix of emotions swirling around the two of you like a dark cloud.

“What more do you want me to say? We were kids, Y/n. You left. And we’re adults now. Move on.” It hurt him to say just as much as it hurt you to hear. And he would never forgive himself for the way the tears began to well up in your eyes. You didn’t bother blinking them back. You just let them fall as you took in his words. Move on? Had he showed up at your home and taken you out for a night of nostalgia just to tell you to move on? Had he grabbed your favorite candy and taken you to see your favorite old man just to tell you to stop loving him? He wasn’t going to fight?

You blinked a few times before swiping at the stray tears still streaming down your face. If he wasn’t going to fight you weren’t either. You didn’t have the emotional armor to deal with the kind of hurt that would come with that. You couldn’t blame anyone but yourself at that moment. For believing that you could just come home, and make this man love you again. For being such a hopeless romantic. For still being in love with him. For not choosing the good guy back then. You could name a billion other things you’d done that led to this. But that wasn’t going to change what just happened or make him take back what he just said. So you turned your back to him.

“I… can’t believe you. Good night, Tae.” And you were gone, trudging away into the night with tears streaming down your face.

He cursed under his breath. He really didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. He just didn’t want you hurting anymore. You still had such high hopes for him – expected so much from him. He’d loved that about you back then. No one believed in him and yet there you were, helping him come up with names for his car garage. ‘Tae’s Princess Palace’ he decided – he needed to pay homage to you at some point. You were his sole motivation.

He had rehearsed so many times what’d he’d say if he’d ever seen you again. He’d planned to tell you he loved you. He’d planned to get on both knees and tell you to take him wherever it is you went. He’d try his best to be the best for you. He’d find a job and invest in a place to start his garage. He’d propose to you. He’d buy the ring. Hell he’d get the ring made because you only deserve the best. But then he saw you. You were just as beautiful as before, maybe even moreso. You looked happier. More fulfilled. How could he let himself walk into your life and fuck that all up?

Now you're walking home in the dark and you’re crying. And it’s because of him. It’s because he can never say or do the right thing. Not when it comes to you. When it comes to you, everything that makes sense is wrong. All the green lights are red. Left is right. Black is white. He is a complete fool. He can’t think past go or speak up for himself. You were the one thing in this world that made him lose his cool.

He had to think quickly. Would he let you leave again without telling you how felt? Without getting on his knees and begging for your forgiveness? Or would he chase you down? Would he tell you all the things he wanted – no needed – you to hear?

His feet were moving before his brain could rationalize anything. His candy and drink was left behind and he was on his bike quicker than he’s ever been. He didn’t have time to waste.

It didn’t take long to find you, keeping a steady pace on the sidewalk only five minutes down the road. You didn’t make it very far and he reminded himself to thank your mother for giving you such short legs. He slowed his bike to keep pace with you and waited for you to glance at him. You didn’t.

“Princess.” No response. “Baby.” Nothing. “Y/n Y/l/n.” You stopped. That's progress, he decided, and he wasn’t going to give you the chance to back track. “I love you. I do. I always have and five years isn’t gonna take that from me. So tell me what you want me to say. What you want me to do. I’ll say it, fuck, baby I’ll do it.” Your lips trembled but you still didn’t look at him or say anything. “Please.” He added as a last ditch attempt. The tears started falling again – you always were quite the crybaby.

You took a deep, trembling breath before turning to face him head on. “I wanted you to fight for me. Tell me that these last five years were hell for you just like they were for me. Tell me that you thought of me every single second of the day like I did you.” You purse your lips, thinking over your next sentence. “I wanted you to tell me that it didn’t matter how many women you’ve slept with over the last few years, I will always be the best. But you didn’t. You told me to get over it. To move on. So I want you to live with that-” Before you could finish your petty spiel, you felt the elastic keeping your hair out of your face snap and all too suddenly you were temporarily blinded by the thick, slightly damp curls.

It was an afterthought. Something that was muscle memory for Taehyung. He hadn’t even really thought about what he was doing when he got off his bike and approached you. He didn’t even acknowledge you speaking. There certainly wasn’t a single thought in his head as pulled your hair up and away from your face. Not an idea behind his eyes as he gathered your hair into a puff of curls at the top of your head and secured it with a hair tie he conveniently carried on his wrist.

It wasn’t until your hair was barely contained and secured in the hair tie, that he'd realized what he did. It really was a reflex. Something he couldn’t help. He’d done it so many times before, so when he saw that cute little pout of irritation form on your lips, he did what he knew how to make you less upset.

The way your eyes glimmered with unshed tears as you looked at him was an indication enough that you realized that too. “You still carry hair ties for me?” Your lips trembled and you looked about a few more seconds away from bawling. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. If he was going to say what he needed to, he needed you close. He needed you to hear everything.

“I still wear the hair ties. I still put your straw on the left side even when you sit on the right because that’s how you’ve always preferred it. I still eat all the yellow and green skittles because you don’t like them. I still remember how to tie your scarves and I keep silk bonnets in my drawer. My sheets and pillowcases are silk. You don’t even live here anymore and yet everything I do, there’s this… essence of you.” He placed his forehead on yours and he felt the shaky breaths you were taking blow against his neck. “I love you, Princess. I never stopped. I need you to know that before you leave.” His hands slipped from your waist and you panicked when you felt his forehead leave yours.

It was completely out of desperation. The way you gripped his jacket lapels and pulled him aggressively toward you. The way your lips crashed against his in a ferocious kiss. It was all spit and clashing teeth and pure desperation. His hands found themselves wrapping around the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. You could feel his heart racing under your fingertips as he reciprocated the messy kiss. He’d have to pull away soon, he knew that, but you still tasted like cherries and chocolate and you still fit so well to his body. So when he found the inner strength to pull away from you and you chased after his lips with a little pout, he couldn’t help but smile proudly. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip and watched as your lips parted so obediently for him. Still so submissive for him.

“Wherever you go, from here on out, I’ll go. I swear. Anywhere you are is where I want to be.” Your eyebrows furrowed. “Promise?” You whisper against his thumb. He smiled down at you, leaving a wet peck on your plump lips before dropping one of his hands to yours and lacing your fingers together.

“I swear it.”

[camtankerous]

please please talk to us about actual canary jimmy and those flour bastards

AH. okay well. If u insist

Okay im typing this on my phone as i pass out so pls excuse any mistypes and long winding sentences. This is a stream of consciousness that youve just uncorked my friend

ANYWAY. I really really love canary-and-coal-miner team rancher art, right? And i love birds, and strip mining in minecraft, so i thought. Well! What if i came up with a funny little au where tango is a coal miner and jimmy is his little canary buddy?

Of course, actual coal mining is very scary, and i only write funny goofy things, so this is Mined Craft™️ coal mining. Anyway, tango takes up a job working for some unnamed mining company working under TFC, since i love his mining videos

I havent decided which other hermits to include yet? Im def including grian, joel, and lizzy, since theyre often featured in jimmy’s non-minecraft videos. I dont want to include too many and risk bogging down the story bc i get too caught up in writing accurate voices for everyone, but i might also write in some cameos of bdubs and etho or something. I want to include scott but im afraid i wont be able to properly balance a characterization of him hamming up on the “why yes my ex husband DID disappear under mysterious circumstances and i got most of his items. Why do you ask :)” facade while also deep down being quite sad and upset about jimmy just vanishing off the face of the earth. And then if i DID balance it properly im afraid it would come off more angsty than intended

ANYWAY. Uh. I dont know much lore about hermitcraft bc im still catching up on the lore-heavy videos (i like to just listen to people build/design things while i strip mine in my own world), but i’m thinking there’s enough wacky magic hijinks that i could justify my idea

My idea being that jimmy actually wasnt ALWAYS a canary, he wound up getting turned into one due to [redacted] (bc i havent come up with that part yet and am not particularly pressed to do so). Jimmy used to be a canary hybrid but now he’s full canary - still the same on the inside, but now he’s a tiny bird that loves to cause problems

None of his friends know this happened to him, or else they would have been working hard to get him back to normal. Instead, grian notices two things about this particular canary: he’s way more belligerent and vocal than the other canaries, hardly acting like a prey animal at all, and he seems to be prone to winding up in the parts of the mine that get gas leaks. He’s actually starting to get concerned that this poor little bastard bird has brain damage at this point and thats why hes Like That

So, anyway, grian and the others start calling this canary Timmy, bc it kind of reminds them of their missing friend who was also a canary hybrid and a little shit with terrible luck. They tend to keep timmy on the sidelines bc theyre worried hes been through too much and dont want him passing out anymore

Then, along comes tango! Tango, a blazeborn, is of course a major safety risk inside of a mine where gas leaks and combustibles are common. they trust him well enough to be careful and not blow himself up, but they also cant send him down the usual mineshafts, so they have him working mostly near the deepest parts of the cave, away from the coal veins and closer to the lava pits that he can withstand easier, so he winds up mining alone for the most part

And they think, hey, this is perfect! Now we have someone we can send timmy with so that he’s not cooped up all day. So tango winds up spending several hours a day just exploring deep caves and talking to himself, hanging out with this weird little bird that grian and joel love to bully

Anyway, long story short, this is me indulging in my own personal love of tiny animals and basically writing about tango going “ive had timmy for one day but if anything happened to him i’d blow this place up with myself in it”. Its just dumb little fluffy stuff like jimmy and tango doing back and forth whistle calls (jimmy of course being safely tucked away in an oxygen chamber the whole time), tango absolutely decking his room out with lots of perches and things bc he noticed jimmy hates cages, and tango spending his free time walking around with a bird nestled in his hair

Mostly this is just snapshot scenes in my head, stuff like grian explaining to tango how timmy got his name and what not. But yea this has been taking over my brain for weeks now!!!! Please help me i still need to finish my other wips!!!!!!!!!!

[froggy-1988]

Fanfic Ask Game: 4, 5, 18 and 20

4- What is your comfort trope? Oh. strangely it's hurt/comfort post non-con.... yeah, i don't know why thats comforting either - I think i just like dark miserable anxiety ridden fics when i',m feeling miserable myself.

5- Do you prefer read/write angsty smut or fluffy smut or just smut? Um... I don't know, the everything falls into fluff or angst always gets me because it's like... there's more complexity in emotion than that. So uh... whatever seems to fit the journey the characters have taken to that point is what I like to write. Though smut is my least favorite thing to write because it's a really careful balancing act between action, emotions, sense and dialogue. Also I am running out of analogies for orgasms, honestly... I think i've done them all and I hate to be repetitive.

18- Be honest how many WIPS do you have at the moment? Well, at the moment I am working pretty hard on some real world stuff so nothing is getting written but... theres one how to train your dragon, 2 new dream, one Camp Cretaceous, 1 Miraculous Ladybug, 1 Harry Potter one i've been meaning to complete thought it's been 5 years now, 1 Varian X Catalina, and 6 Cassarian, though two of those are joint projects that won't be worked on properly for a while. So...13..... I have a problem don't I?

20- What is something that you know more than you will ever need to because you've done copious amounts of research on it for a fic?

I don't know actually, I think years ago I used to do copious amounts of research but now I just write what I already know - luckily a lot of my fics are in worlds I understand to begin with - like Miracuolous, well, i've been to Paris a lot but to write a really detailed one I upmoved them to the London Fashion Institute because I can write a lot more easily about London (and it fits with the story line because the characters are hiding from something), then there's the fantasy elements in Disney fics and you can really do whatever you like with those but I already do (or have done) horse riding, archery, a bit of sword fighting, been to lots of medieval towns, castles ect.. so the knowledge only needs a little topping up with context specific things on occasion. I know, there's like loads of lore on werewolves and that sort of thing, so when I wrote about werewolves it was like - well you should know this and this - but really I don't see it that way - the lore is not canon, and even if it was - t's fanfic, you don't have to follow it religiously, and if I did, then I'd get stuck in trying to make it fit the lore and not writing the story i wanted to write, which is not dependent on the lore.

I do really long answer for these, sorry.

[justalitlecreacher]

I’m here to prove that Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man/peter parker in The Amazing Spider-Man is objectively the best love action adaptation of the character. In this essay I will....(yes this is really happening)

Edit: 10/20/20- i want to indulge myself in spiderman content but finding non mcu spiderman content is exhausting so imma update this instead

TL;DR

Andrew Garfield is my favorite of the 3 Spider-Man actors. TAS’s Peter is more fun and dynamic than the cookie cutter “shy introverted nerd that has a crush on a girl who’s way out of his league” Peter in Tobey Maguire’s movies. I enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of the character, but hate the way Disney has written the movies.  I enjoy the characters, plot, and humor of The Amazing Spider-Man far more than the other 2, and i deeply wish we had gotten the third movie with the canon BIder-Man of Andrew’s (and my) dreams.

[DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT SEEN THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 OR ANY MCU SPIDERMAN MOVIES OUTSIDE OF CLIPS AND REVIEWS ITS ALSO BEEN A VERY HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE SEEN A TOBEY MAGUIRE MOVIE]

Characterization

  Most arguments against Andrew Garfield’s Spidey( AG’s from now on) begin and ends with “he was a good Spider-Man but a bad Peter Parker”. This references an outdated post comparing all three Spidey actors.(Id attach the image here but i dont want the post to be too long(thats a lie this is so long what am i doing with my life)) The post also claims that Tobey played a good Peter and a poor Spidey; and that Tom is good at both “roles”.(Honestly I think it seems silly that this seems obey the “third time’s the charm” rule but thats just me).  Most people using this seem to be Tobey stans who have forgotten or ignored the rest of the post funnily enough, but the ones that go further into the WHY AG is a poor Peter are also incorrect. This argument also ignores the idea that there can be more than one version of Peter Parker which is blatantly incorrect.  Just look at Into the Spiderverse or the PS4 game; these provide 4(5 if you count the pig) versions of Peter themselves, and that doesnt even include the comics. 

 Arguments that go further in depth claim that the AS Peter is too cool or well liked by his peer to be a “true” Peter Parker. The evidence for this seems to be that Peter has a skateboard.(which what? didnt realize that having a skateboard would instantly make you cool brb guys). Adding to that i dont really see where people get the idea that Peter is popular or well liked. While looking for complaints i found this qutoe from reddit(theyve since deleted it looks like but i’ll add a link in the notes) “He's angsty, pretty socially awkward, has an aptitude for science, and is kind of an outsider. He gets bullied by Flash and he gets his ass kicked after trying to stand up to Flash. He isn't a "cool" person in any way (until the ending, in which he's best buds with Flash, so I'll give you that). While Maguire is more accurate to the 60s comics where Peter in high school is just a fucking loser with basically no friends, in the ultimate comics, Peter is more of the kid who has a small amount of friends, but isn't popular.”. Honesty i fully agree with this because once again, other versions of a character are allowed to exist. You can dislike one version, but its silly to dislike something for not being exactly like another thing.

Ive also heard that Peter isnt “nerdy enough” in this movie which really doesnt make any sense considering the entire plot happens because Peter was looking into some of his parents’ research. If he wasn't interested in looking further into his father’s work what reason would he have to go to Oscorp where he’s bitten by the spider? Why would he have become Dr. Conner’s assistant? If he wasn’t intelligent how did he develop the web shooters?(something that Tobey!Peter doesn't have to do out of plot convenience might i add).  

 Another complaint i see is that the quips he uses in the movie(the first one specifically it seems) makes him seem like an asshole. Honestly thats a fair complaint, but i think its a good bit of characterization; espcially if he does get better about it in the second movie like the internet suggests.The Peter in this movie is a rightfully angsty teen; of course he acts a bit of an ass to criminals(also i feel like its important to mention that he’s like that to criminals? its not like hes being a dick for no reason).

  Compare this with the Tobey Maguire(TM) movies. Like i said i haven’t seen these in awhile but as far as i’m aware TM’s Peter doesn't really do anything particularly nerdy in the film? I may have forgotten something( ok in the scene before he gets bitten he knows a cool spider fact) but he doesn’t have to invent the web-shooters because they came with his powers and he’s only at Oscorp in the first place because it’s a school field trip that he appears to be taking photos for. This Peter does fit the definition of outcast(friendless and bullied for it), but honestly i just dont like him. He’s weird and something about the character makes me feel like i should be a little grossed out every time he looks at MJ at the beginning of the movie.  

   I honestly don’t have any complaints for Tom Holland’s(TH’s)Spidey. Tom is a great actor and from what ive seen i enjoy his portrayal of the character.( He made me cry when i character i actively dislike died).  

Story

  I cant really say much for TAS story. It’s interesting but nothing special really. However, there is one scene that i don’t think i’ve seen anything like since( the closest would probably be the train scene in the original trilogy). 

 The crane scene. Early in the film Peter saves a boy from a car that has fallen off of a bridge, and at the end of the movie this becomes relevant again when it is uncertain that Peter will be able to get to the lizard to stop him in time.(as Peter is already injured and pretty far from the lizard’s location). The boy’s father is then revealed to be a construction worker who recognizes that Spider-man is going to need help to get to the lizard; he remembers how Spider-Man saved his son and organizes the rest of the construction workers to build a path out of crane arms for SM to swing from. All of them are putting themselves in danger by not evacuating, but SM’s actions in the first act of the film motivate them to do what’s right. 

  I love this scene primarily because it highlights something that i think is a really important part of Spider-Man’s character; his connection to the people he saves. SM is often shown interacting with and chatting with the people he has saved after the fact. One comic shows Peter accidentally scaring some bullies and then taking the time to ride the bus to school with them to continue their conversation and educate the students on bullying.( There’s definitely more but this is off the top of my head).

  Another scene in TAS that i love is shortly before the crane scene when Peter is originally attempting to make his way across the city to stop the lizard, and he is shot down by the police. They manage to unmask him before Peter comes to his senses( he had just been shot and fallen pretty far out of the sky in his defense). From there Peter is able to deal with the police while keeping any of them from getting a good look at his face. The one cop he cant take out happens to be Gwen Stacey’s father who had previously had an argument with Peter about Spider-Man(Peter obviously on SM’s side and Mr. Stacey against SM). Peter turns and allows Captain(?) Stacey to see his face. I believe that this is an example of an unwilling identity reveal done right. i really enjoyed this moment because Peter had just shown that he likely could have gotten out of this encounter with his identity in tact as he had just taken down however many men. This implies that it was an active choice on Peter’s end to trust that Captain Stacey would ultimately do the right thing and allow Peter to go fight the Lizard, rather than a final desperate attempt to get away unscathed. Whether or not this interpretation of the scene is correct or not it still gives the character a bit more agency than some versions have done with their identity reveals.

  In Spider-Man 2 Peter starts to lose his powers because he’s having internal conflict about wether or not he should be Spider-Man. Honestly thats kinda neat and i might want to give that a rewatch. As for the one i have seen i don’t have any complaints. I do however prefer the way that Peter was bitten in TAS because it was a result of him poking around where he shouldn’t’ve been rather than him just happening to be standing in the right place for a spider to land on him. 

  Onto TH’s movies; the way Disney has treated Spidey in the MCU is why TH’s is my least favorite version of the character. I feel like too much of the story revolves around Iron Man; Iron Man made Peter’s suit and equipment, Iron Man introduces Peter to the MCU(via blackmail but thats another rant for another annoyingly long post), its Iron Man that “makes” Spidey in this universe rather than Spidey being self-made. In Homecoming(which remember i havent seen outside of clips so bear with me) most of the conflict is cause directly or indirectly by Tony’s refusal or inabilty to communicate with the teenager he’s meant to be mentoring

 For one the entire incident with the ferry could have very easily been avoided had Tony bothered to communicate with Peter enough to tell him that the situation was being taken care of. On top of that at the moive’s climax Peter is shown trying to get in contact with Happy(from what ive picked up isnt he a chauffeur? like idk his deal i just know he’s someone Peter got pawned off onto after Civil War). Peter even goes as far as to somehow hack into Happy’s phone(i think thats what happened it was a weird tech thing that shouldve been a red flag that the call was important though) but instead of listening; Peter is ignored. If this was a different kind of movie Peter literally could have died and itd be the fault of Happy and Tony like..... A large portion of conflict comes from characters being incompetent and not communicating and thats just poor storytelling.

Before this turns too much into an anti mcu rant id also like to say that the way they did Civil War was really dumb considering that Peter defects to Cap’s side in the comics, but whatever.

 Also i loathe the way they handled the identity reveal at the end of Far From Home. With MCU movies most people know to expect an end credits scene by now, but typically that scene is not important to understand what’s happening in the films; they just aren’t important. Putting an identity reveal here makes it seem significantly less important than it is. On top of that i dislike their use of J Jonah Jameson for this scene.

  JJJ is a character who has been repeatedly shown to have a genuinely good heart. All of his anger comes from a place of love for his city(he even says this hemself in the ps4 game when May writes in to tell him that he needs help). He hates Spider-Man because SM reminds him of the masked man who killed his wife; JJJ has never been able to get past that( and Peter’s antagonism of him definitely doesnt help) However, JJJ has been shown to care for people; he has a son who he often brags about, and one comic shows that JJJ is paying Peter for “amateur” quality photos because he knows that Peter is having a hard time and “just need some help”. JJJ has even learned Peter’s identity before and kept his secret for him(seriously though i cant remember the name of the comic but its defiantly worth the read), and in the original trilogy when Goblin threatens JJJ he claims that he doesn’t know who sends in the photos of Spidey because he does it via email( this is a lie). The MCU will have a very difficult time convincing me that JJJ would ever out a teenager’s identity and put him in danger like that. It goes too far against his character.(this could be hypocritical of me to say considering how i just insisted that multiple versions of a character can exist but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

This is accidentally turning into an MCU rant but id also like to say that i hate the lack of a TH!Spidey origin movie because it gives you no motivaion for Peter becoming SM or explanation of his powers; most people will know these things but if youre unfamiliar with the character its bound to be confusing(and im a sucker for origin movies)

[lepoppeta]

Oh piratefairy shipper? Have any headcanons? 👀👀

theres going to be a lot of beating about the proverbial bush here so bare with me.

for cookie run, ive crafted this big, absolutely non-canon sci-fi/fantasy alternate universe, and a lot of my “headcanons” are more like plot points as part of an overarching story. the universe itself is made up of one big historical backstory for the entire world, and then it devolves into... i suppose a “slice-of-life” for lack of a better term. 

as for pirate and sea fairy, they are one possible “end-game” pairing i have for the ongoing universe. i have an extremely angsty fanfiction possibility in mind for them, but my issue is that i dont know if thats the kind of story i want to end up telling, especially since beforehand both characters will have gone through a lot of deep shit already. well have to see. 

the most i can offer you without spoiling too much is that their relationship is very sarcastic and playful, but not without its darker corners. pirate is very new to being undead, and is currently having a lot of trouble coming to grips with immortality without a beating heart (or the ability to process alcohol). sea fairy, having been immortal her entire life, is very used to this concept, so shes helping him adjust the best she can. unfortunately this all has to be done in secrecy. if sea fairys family found out... well, it wouldnt exactly be an optimal situation.

im sorry if this wasnt the answer you were looking for, but thats the best i can explain it. 

HOWEVER i did manage to scrounge up a few tidbits from my files!

• sea fairy is a top

• pirate is a biter. sea fairy fondly refers to him as “old shark”

• despite having lived for thousands of years, sea fairy isnt as in-tune with the mortals as she could be. she got pirate to teach her a few of the sea shanties shes caught him idly humming, and now they lovingly trade verses while staring out to sea, harmonizing with each chorus.

[sargentr]

my fave drarry fics of all time, part one

so, after discovering i’ve officially been reading drarry fanfic for 4 years now, i decided to show my (quite big) list of favorite drarry fics. there are 46 in total, but i’ve listed 10 down below. the first three are my absolute favorites but the rest are equally as good

most of my notes are fresh from when i wrote them post-reading. i’ve changed some, seeming less like a crazy unstable bitch, but fuck these were all emotional as fuck. enjoy

ps: i dont really know how to tag people i dont follow. i cant try and tag the authors later. soz!!

pps: most of these i read when i was really into a bottom!draco phase, so most of them contain that, some are switch tho (as it should be, yikes past me)

1. Everything That Happen is From Now On / ~43K 

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls

okay so before i get in to how beautiful this story is, i wanna say that it does touch on rape quite explicitly. i cried like an idiot reading the entire thing, because draco’s pain is navigated in the most beautiful and realistic way. it touches on a subject very risky for me, very personal, and i still can’t think of a better drarry story. draco’s very draco about it all, and harry is very harry about it all. it’s just perfect, and messy, and tender, and sad. i’ve reread it more than any other fic, and it doesn’t disappoint. 

2. Pocket Full of Starlight / ~46K

When Scorpius Malfoy and Jamie Potter meet at Quidditch camp, they take an instant dislike to each other. Then they discover their lives are more connected than they could possibly imagine.

ah yes. the magic of kid fics. the TASTE

parent trap au. i read this one recently, like 3 months back, and absolutely fell in love with everything about it, partially because the parent trap is legit one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. its just. the essence, the IDEA, is soooo mf beautiful. i cant get enough of reading when harry or draco finally meet the other twin, or how they cant stop loving each other even after 11 years. my heart clenched throughout the whole thing. 

3. Temptations on the Warfront / ~180K

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes. 

this was the first drarry fic ive ever read, and before this mf i HATEDDD this pairing. so you can imagine how much it took to convince me otherwise, bc i was 100% scorbus before this.

to be fair, horcrux hunting with draco involved is, possibly, my favorite trope ever. its unique. theres tension, both sexual and life threatening. in some ways it romanticizes the war, but fuck it it aint a real war. 

slowest of burns. amazing. life changing. long as hell. nothing else to be said except read it right now i demand it.

4. Clouding the Senses / ~58K

As everyone returns to Hogwarts for a final eighth year, some people are coping better with the aftermath of the war than others. After encountering a very drunk Draco Malfoy one night, Harry realises that maybe those that lost loved ones aren’t the only ones trying to escape the war. Blaise Zabini seems to think Harry can help Malfoy, that the Slytherin might actually listen to him. Harry is not so sure. Dependence is a tricky thing, and one addiction can quickly shift to another.

everyone that reads drarry loves 8th year fics, but this ones just kinda different from all those normal (yet entertaining) ones. draco’s an alcoholic in this, and one night harry tries to help him and whoops, one thing leads to the other and they start having casual sex. its really, really amazing how both draco and harry navigate the addiction, i really cant say it has any flaws. 

i know the author got a lot of hate on their fics and thats why they took them down, but they’re truly one of the best drarry authors out there. i’ve reread this a couple of times, and the tenderness, the love and confusion is all very on character. a+

5. Restraint / ~153K

Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it.

Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. 

But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

this is by the same author of clouding the senses, and i read this just this week. at first, it’s shocking, because it plays around with consent in a very unsettling way. when communication comes in, and its starts getting healthier, you can really understand where the author found the idea of playing with consent. it is, in my opinion, 100% characteristic of how they would behave post-war, with that grief and confusion. it’s also dom/sub in some parts, and that’s mf hot. 

it also has my favorite tropes in it, but it’s a spoiler to say which one. i’ll probably mention the trope in the list along with a bunch others, but when u finish reading you’ll know which one ;)

6. Humbug / ~30K

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

(felt like it was valid to just paste what i wrote in my notes app after reading this)

(FUCKKKKKK HOW TO EVEN START?!!!?? just a fucking bonus, draco is THE best bottom o ever exist i love my bottom son so much. this story isnt only amazing it’s excruciatingly painful to read, harry and draco have been sleeping together but harry is completely in love with him. draco doesnt see how much harry cares for him or how much hes hurting harry by treating their fling like its just that, a FLING. with that, draco is haunted by three ghosts. one of the past, the present and the future, AND THEY SET THAT IDIOT STRAIGHTTTT 1800000/10. the gays DO KEEP MF WINNING!!!

7. in your arms, rests my world / ~24K

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.

“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

the friends with benefits trope doesnt ever disappoint, top 5 tropes fr, especially if its also 8th year. harry and draco get into their little thing, but of course nothing ever is simple between them. by the preview, you can clearly see how much draco likes harry (also another 10/10 trope, the ‘i’ve been in love with harry potter since i was 11′ one). my only tiny issue with this is that harry fucks it up just a tad, but it of course adds up to the drama of it all, which i absolutely love.

noting it also touches on non-con/rape and, and all in all, is extremely angsty. one i was tense from beginning to end. but i am gonna say it ends amazingly and v happily.

8. Playing the Hero / ~29K

Nobody kissed me like Harry did. He kissed like he flew; he kissed like he duelled - with his whole being, not caring about anything else. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did when he kissed me, seizing all and any control I had over myself. But when Harry kissed me, I felt free...

so the thing about angst is that it ignites that mf feeling side u that even tho it hurts you cannot get enough of. this fic was EVERYTHINGGG. it made cry and laugh and smile. also another trope i absolutely adore is them breaking up and not being 100% ok with that, bc ding ding!! YALL STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!! 

i cant describe how i felt, honestly. i would just paste my notes (i wont bc spoilers) but it looks like i went thru sum shit. deadass

9. fine i’ll hold my breath / till i forget it’s complicated  / ~ 15K with the two parts

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

u know, fluff is a drug. i dont know if its beucase 90% of drarry fics are about angsty get-togethers, but i had butterflies in my stomach when i read this. its adorable. draco is so clearly in love, he jusT SMILES A LOT I CANTTT. 

its cute. i love it to death. have some fluff before starting your day.

10. Un Noël très parisien / ~14K

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

look. i know i named a lot of my favorite tropes here, but i cant end this without mentioning how much single dad draco affects me. i love scorpius and how much he changes draco in every fic he appears. i love parent draco and i shant be silent about it (especially when scorpius is legit just a year old in this. i died)

as it states, harry and draco have a one night stand but draco thinks thats it, that it was all he was ever gonna have. he’s wrong of course, and the path it takes, with both scorpius and harry there, just melted my mf heart.

well kids that’s all i have for now. imma work on a part two with 10 other fics i really love!1

[targentis]

answer them **all.**

DAMN OKAY! these r so hard to answer i hope youre happy KJDFNGKSDJFNDKFGSJ

Your favourite non-canon ship?

COFFEE WOLF, I GUESS. it’s canon to us though. um. god this is a hard question. Doc/Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia i guess!!

Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping?

TONS BUT IM DRAWING A BLANK RIGHT NOW. Alfonso/De Loco. yes. that’s one. thanks Din

What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)?

help all my ships are rarepairs.......Des/Nils is probably the rarest. no that’s not true bc i got all my friends on board with this. ok. closest one after that is like...trans lesbian Bloom/Emmy then. eGDKFJGN

Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of.

Akechi/Joker...........don’t tell anyone but i have the tags for that ship blocked dfjgkhdfgk it doesn’t make me particularly uncomfortable or anything it just doesn’t appeal to me and i’m tired of seeing it so much

What is your most fluffy + happy ship?

Lunivas/Butter :] (For Now.)

What is your most angsty ship?

UUUUUUUU. GODS UM.....how about VinceDes. thats pretty angsty bro. i think they’re just mostly angsty independently though ejrhdgjhdf

A non-canon ship that should be canon?

dude, Wrightworth. it’s like basically canon already Capcom just needs to like stop being cowarDS DFKGNDFKJGDF

Your oldest ship; the one you’ve shipped for the longest time?

NOT SURE. Alfonso/Ramirez is a pretty long-running ship i think. Wrightworth too but i think Alfonso/Ramirez is older by like a year. 

What ship represents the kind of relationship you’d love to have?

VinceDes. ;]

Is there a ship that makes your skin crawl?

unfortunately, because i am in the Layton fandom, yes. for instance, all the Desmond ships with canon characters, bc they are all like. family members. euughghghgjahgahuggg,ghf,h god

What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship?

not Ramirez that’s for surE DKJNDFKJGDF probably uhhh Randall......he belongs with Henry and that’s that on that!

What is your favourite canon ship?

hehehe...Nico/Kastor/Vlad!! 

Name a ship that deserved more content.

all the rarepairs bro. every gross artist who has ever drawn like d*sl*y or something owes me coffee wolf content. ESPECIALLY gross artists who draw d*sa*ro and interact with my posts. cough cough. pay up You Know Who.

Is there a ship you feel gets undeserved hate in fandom?

i don’t know any ships that get hate period cause i no longer subscribe to weird fandom drama...but i know of One ship that gets Deserved hate, which is Ramirez/Galcian. i’ll never stop shitting on it never

What is the first ship you had?

ugh. in order to answer this question i had to try to remember the first fandom i was ever in, let alone the first time i ever cared about romance. soooooooo...i think it was Seth/Jynx from my ex’s story Fantasy Fulfillment??

Is there a ship that made you realise something about yourself?

yes there is! a certain ship made me realize i had a second Des canon...

Is there a type of ship you always go for?

IM LIKE NOT BIG ON SHIPPING ANYMORE SO THIS IS HARD TO DETERMINE i just kind of...find my favorite characters and then put them together bc sexy. also sometimes characters will have undeniable chemistry and i’ll be all like ok legally i just Have to ship them. see: Din/Ade.

Is there a ship the writers have ruined for you?

every canon ship in Skies of Arcadia. the writers of this game do not know what chemistry is. Enrique/Moegi sucks, but they have so much POTENTIAL to be a good pairing, but this was not shown at ALL in canon, and i’m SALTY.

Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you?

Akechi/Joker probably...fandom didn’t do anything wrong per se i just. like i said before i’m just tired of seeing it dkgjhdg

Have you ever created fan created content for a ship?

yeah tons!! i am a Content Creator bro i will not stop

Favourite thing you’ve ever created for a ship?

this VinceDes Valentine’s Day project i’ve been working on for the past four days!! it’s like my favorite thing i’ve ever created PERIOD bro

Is there a ship you’ll never admit you have?

hmmmmmmmm. do my old Hetalia ships count? DFGJDNFG

Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?

YES ACTUALLY! speaking of my old Hetalia ships, i used to ship Japan and Canada SIMPLY BECAUSE i went to an anime convention and these two cosplayers said i looked like their lovechild. i took a photo with my “parents” and it was my phone wallpaper for like two years. i’m so sorry for talking about that stupid anime but like that’s still an important memory to me

What is one scene you want to see happen for all your ships?

HRNNHNH. KIS

I there a ship you wish you didn’t know existed?

You Know Exactly Which Ones.

more recently though...Miles/Franziska?????? like sigh i know of COURSE it exists but like. idk i Just found out about it and i wish i could unlearn that fact.

Name a ship that ended like you wanted it to.

Nico/Kastor/Vlad.........if you want good content you have to make it yourself!

Name a ship that deserved better in the end.

LAYTON/CLAIRE. FOR FUCKING REAL

Is there a character you have several ships for?

Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia........he can just Get It.

What is the ship you ignore 98% of canon for?

ENRIQUE/ILCHYMIS. I JUST THINK THEYRE HOT THEY NEVER INTERACT IN CANON

Is there a ship you like but you dislike the fandom?

lol wym i dislike all fandom. eKJDGFN ummmm??? no i can’t think of any right now??