#thats the messy bad way of explaining it but yeah

[arolesbianism]

Oopsie doopsie slips and makes another batch of side characters their own story in which they're the main characters

[baby-xemnas]

I want to be real with you… i don't know why People characterization of ginsan is so horrible, when in canon sanji was formal and even friendly with gin before shit hit the fan, even after that he was annoyed but still very much on good terms so where people get that sanji will kick gin and be annoyed all the time with him? ik that there is fanon headcanons for everyone (and that whitout it the ship is kinda boring) but i know Sanji would not be a prick to anyone who shows manners and is at leats a little respectful like gin was in all their interactions

plz do be real with me because im one of the people contributing to this characterization

YES he was super cute and smiley with Gin at first meeting (Gin was not the same since!!!) and he was very attentive during Gin's tearful confession and freaked out when he got fucked up

BUT ill explain how i justify for myself that Sanji would be prickly with him - he is prickly with every male he is close to - Zeff, Patty and Carne, Luffy (he is softer on Usopp but thats a dif story) because thats kind of Sanji's comfort zone? He grew up bickering with his cook fam so to me he would pick on Gin the same way he picks on them - cuz i want Gin to be his family (husband..👉👈) not a stranger he is all polite with

Another justification for why i characterize him treating Gin rudely is that lil tsun "thanks, never come back" before Gin leaves - its cute as hell to me that Sanji is like MAN you are troublesome and messy

+ i like to think Sanji (while understanding) would proclaim Gin an idiot for still keeping his loyalty to Krieg - because Sanji cares about Gin a lot - he is conflicted like "why'd you not become a traitor, you'd be more safe!!!" and Sanji is mad at himself for thinking this way cuz its deeply dishonorable and unfair to Gin -

- but that frustration reflects in him being like "you are a self harming idiot and your decisions are shit, get some self preservation stupid!!!" towards Gin, who brushes it off easily like yeah yeah ☺️ of course Sanji san (joke is that same lack of self preservation is what makes Gin want to be with Sanji so bad, even tho Sanji is all self-loathing and tries driving Gin and his devotion away)

[comradeboyhalo]

Okay—you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to..! But I’m actually SO curious on your essay thoughts of q!Bad in 4halo fics. Because (I think) it’s kind of rare that q!Bad is depicted accurately in.. most qsmp ship fics. And I feel like q!Bad always becomes.. obsessed with romance with q!Forever in many 4halo fics?? Or super open + emotionally stable?? I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s why I’m curious of your thoughts (because I’ve read your fics and 100% trust your characterizations, especially of BBH cubitos <3)

hihi always down to ramble. and i agree, a lot of bad's flaws are smoothed over in 4halo fics, which makes him incredibly ooc. also, i dont think that these mischaracterizations are necessarily bad, i understand that in fluff fics (or angst fics, which im guilty of) sometimes theres no room in tone to fully capture all of q!bad's complexities. but that doesn't mean i cant have some gripes!

i dont think this is exclusive to 4halo, but 4halo is also bad's current biggest ship, so a lot of it just happens to fall on it. but i really hate how fanon!bad gets stripped down to a mere love interest who is just...very perfect in how he interacts with romance. he wants to go on cute dates, he confesses in a very sweet way. he is kind and nice and a little insecure, and is just so boring. its very much reminiscent of old skephalo fics, where bad is seen as "innocent" and then any other interesting trait of his gets stripped away. i also end up feeling im reading about a highschooler, when q!bad is 11k+ and cc!bad (obviously influential of his character) is in his late 20s.

again, i understand why people write 4halo on cute dates and first kisses. thats what fanfic is for! but i cant help but see the entirety of the ao3 page full of these very...allo-typical romance plots and think "...he would not fucking say that." q!bad is messy as fuck! if you don't interpret him as arospec, then hes at the very least repressed, and not in a cute YA romance way. a 1k fic of pining that ends in a nice love confession just doesnt convince me im sorry!

and then there's the blue diamond obstacle that gets in the way of 4halo monogamy....skeppy. again, i get why most 4halo shippers arent going to mention him, cause theyre just not into anything skephalo. i cant blame them for that. but im a master nitpicker, so ill still nitpick cause this is my blog. bad brushing over skeppy is ooc. bad acting as if skeppy is in the past is ooc. bad pursuing any form of relationship without including skeppy is ooc. bad choosing any other person but skeppy to be his #1 is ooc. and yeah it sucks for shipping if you dislike q!skephalo, but thats how it is and its not changing. and also any fics that push bad to "move on" from skeppy is just ??? not only is that his soulmate across lifetimes, but skeppy isnt dead? hes just not on the island? help??? bad has two hands, but one hand will always hold skeppy's and he's made that abundantly clear many times.

anyways im also not immune to q!bad butchering in 4halo fics! ill admit that, in writing the hanahaki au, i couldn't really find time to fit a lot of q!bad's humor into it, and he ended up more openly angsty and sad and vulnerable then he really is, or would ever be. so i totally get it, and im fine if other qbad viewers despise how he's written in it. however i will stand by the fact that q4halo would never pursue a traditional relationship together, and i chose the ending to be ambiguous because thats how i believe their relationship (and feelings) are: ambiguous. that's why, to me, 4halo is so good. i don't want to read about them confessing their feelings. i want to read about how their relationship is an undefined, confusing mess that will never be defined, and im just so surprised that there aren't more fics like that out there.

[suffarustuffaru]

ram for the ask thing

YOO RAM :O i gotchu anon. and yes this is gonna be kind of long again bc i have a lot of thoughts (yes i wrote a whole essay on ram/roswaal alone).

Sexuality Headcanon: SHE SWINGS HOWEVER SHE LIKES.

A ship I have with said character: ramilia and ram x fred are so cute 🥺🥺🥺 ramilia has their moments in canon already and ram x fred have their canon sickfic side story akdndn (its cute!!! fred takes care of ram!!) and i love the like mix of emilia and fred’s sweet personalities with ram’s sharper one pfft. that and ram x fred would be so fucking funny when you factor in garfiel. like yeah garfiels ultimately a good kid and he’ll get over the fact that his childhood crush is now dating his older sister eventually. and he’ll be very happy for both of them and he trusts ram with his sister too!! BUT LIKE the hilarity of garf wailing in despair (metaphorical and literal) over their new relationship is gonna be so fucking good. ottos just there awkwardly patting garf on the back and going “hey its not so bad seeing your sibling get together with someone you potentially couldve been with” and garfs like N O O O O O. O O O. i just. the comedic potential of it all. ram gets otto and subaru to babysit garf while she goes on dates with fred.

also. ram x fred comes with the benefit of BOTH OF THEM GETTING OVER THEIR TERRIBLE TASTE IN MEN…. (roswaal and clind)

as for ramilia—can you imagine how unhinged and messy it would get if you factor in wrath if… the same person (natsuki subaru) trapped and betrayed them… and in the aftermath of ram killing him, emilia goes to kill her in retaliation for that. ram, the girl who despises subaru with her whole being but has depended on him to live bc he’s locked her up all alone in a dark room. emilia, the girl who’s grown to have stockholm syndrome for subaru and has been locked up in a complete white room bc of her father figure and subaru agreeing to do that to her. i just think wrath if ramilia would be so fucked up and im so curious about it….

A BROTP I have with said character: this one tends to be a little overlooked but like. ram and otto are great. and like in general ram CARES about more people than just roswaal okay. like she DOES give a shit i dont understand all those people who think she doesnt. like with otto she GOES OUT OF HER WAY to make him tea and bring it to his room when hes working. and then theres the fact that ram and fred and otto are the only ones who drink alcohol in the mansion (other than. roswaal.) but ram-fred-otto drinking buddies moment when…???? also ram and fred of course 1000% know otto and subaru are garf’s older brother figures now. theyre all in the garf protection squad.

also. of course. ram and rem’s complicated relationship with its ups and downs all the way from their backstory to (SPOILER IG??) them reuniting in arc 8…… good shit. i enjoy seeing them together.

A NOTP I have with said character: ram/roswaal for obvious reasons but i will explain in Depth. because okay they have potential in the sense that there is a time and a place to show toxic unhealthy relationships in fiction with nuance and complexity between both characters. like roswaal has So Much influence on who ram is and also they have all that history together. there is So Much to explore there. like its fascinating with how roswaal plays a role in the destruction of the oni village, and then roswaal brings rem and ram to his mansion and roswaal threatens rem's life in order to put ram into a contract to serve him iirc? and ram LOATHES him bc of all that until. until gluttony erases rem and now ram has no reason to hate roswaal as much. now shes got like an Increased Complex Obsession with him thats now significantly less hate-love. like it is a full on cycle of abuse (in a Romantic lense) from echidna to roswaal to ram complete with Significant Age Differences??? like this is ALL so fascinating. and it sure would be in line with rezero's self improvement themes if ram grew to move away from her roswaal obsession and learn that she deserves Way Better than him.........

EXCEPT. EXCEPT IM GONNA BE REAL. most of the time it really feels like ram and roswaal's relationship isnt taken as Seriously as it should??? or theres like just not as much weight to it EVEN THOUGH we see shit like. ram in season one of the anime bringing roswaal's clothes and his goddamn underwear to the baths so she can DRESS HIM??? like i know shes a maid but its like fucking creepy when roswaal practically raised her after he brought her and her sister home after standing by and letting their village get destroyed. like are we not gonna talk about that bc even Without knowing all the context i winced seeing that shit in the anime when i first watched it. and then theres ram's insert song in season two which IS beautiful ngl. it very wonderfully shows all of ram's affections for roswaal and the reasoning behind her burning the book of wisdom. BUT ITS LIKE.... with the way ram/ros are now that song makes ram/ros feel just a tad bit romanticized. and like logically, i know theyre not bc so many characters comment on how bad ros is and how ram shouldnt be so affectionate for him, AND ALSO HE LITERALLY PUNCHES A HOLE THROUGH HER TO KILL HER, etc etc but LIKE. ARE WE.... ARE WE NOT GONNA INTERVENE WITH THIS... ARE WE NOT GONNA ADDRESS THIS SOME MORE... RAM/ROS IN CANON FEELS LIKE WATCHING YOUR FRIEND BE STUCK IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TELL THEM THAT ITS BAD THEY JUST. DONT SEE IT. THEY WONT LEAVE :(((( like at this rate i have doubts on whether ram is gonna develop out of this shit. when will roswaal face more consequences than just being punched by everyone in the camp.

i am so sorry anon my rage flowed out just then lajsldfj but like im serious. like. and then theres all the people in this fandom that think that roswaal giving ram her mana treatment is sexual in nature. im so tired. LIKE YEAH thats what i thought too when i watched the damn anime. but it is NOT SEXUAL. GOD.... and the fact that its depicted in a way that vaguely makes it look sexual kills me inside. friendly reminder that she is SEVENTEEN/EIGHTEEN. EVEN IF YOU REMOVE ROSWAAL'S 400 YEARS OF BEING ALIVE HES STILL LIKE. WAY TOO FUCKING OLD FOR HER. ON TOP OF BEING A PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE IM NEVER GONNA FORGET ALL THE SHIT HE'S DONE. AND I AM TIRED, TAPPEI. T^TTTTTTTT i think i heard somewhere that tappei said that he doesnt intend to develop ram that much. which. idk how true that is but either way ram is more of a static character compared to say rem. and its like. tappei. she NEEDS development out of her relationship with roswaal in some way shape or form. we need closure for this. and I WILL punch tappei (metaphorical) if the closure isnt ram saying bye bye to roswaal's bitch ass in some way. (also quick disclaimer i do like stories with darker themes and exploring dark characters and relationships and showing their nuance While Condemning them. and its like yes roswaal is interesting. but ram/ros as of rn in the story feels very. glossed over. as ive said earlier hah)

anyway. my other ram notps are ram/subaru and ram/garf. the first one is bc i feel like its just. stale. bland. and also theyre more like siblings to me. ill make an exception for wrath if ramsuba though bc the TOXICITY and TRAGEDY of it all fascinates me…. and also ram/garf bc. yeah shes literally too old for him. and garf/mimi is SO MUCH BETTER GUYS…

A random headcanon: so like… we barely know shit about wrath if. like at all. but we do know iirc that ram and subaru disappear from the mathers mansion at the same or around the same time. and ram tried to kill him and then he managed to smash a rock on her head. and then when we see them like Later in wrath if, ram’s been locked up all alone, subaru is the only one who knows shes there, and subarus been gathering mana crystals all this time just to keep her alive. like???? how did ram and subaru go from point a to point b, you may ask???? HONESTLY i have no fucking clue but the two options i liked to go with are:

option 1. subaru ran away from the mansion out of fear and paranoia after smashing rams head with a rock. and then ram followed him in order to kill him.

option 2. subaru, still afraid and paranoid, smashes ram’s head with a rock in self-defense. and then he immediately feels absolutely terrible and decides to bring ram with him in an attempt to help (or “help”, depending on how you see it) her bc hes still too afraid to actually go back to the mansion.

ANYWAY i have a many thoughts on wrath if ramsuba. bc its like…. ram was growing a tiny bit fond of subaru in arc 2, u know? and then from her pov subaru goes and KILLS HER SISTER…. meanwhile subarus been betrayed and rams trying to kill him and then subarus punished for trying to defend himself. and then subaru takes it too far and becomes purge king and kills a ton of people while imprisoning ram and emilia. wrath if drives me insane man. rams been locked up and subaru being the only one that knows shes there, along with the fact that ram and subaru disappear from the mansion at the same time, imply that ramsubas had a lot of time in private with just each other. subaru depends on her bc shes in color. rams life hangs in his hands. ram went from being trapped with roswaal to being trapped with subaru. its a whole MESS. i am fascinated.

General Opinion over said character: RAM IS GREAT AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY SHE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ARE SO SO WRONG. I LOVE HOW SHE IS AN ASS (I SAY THIS AFFECTIONATELY) BUT ALSO SHE CAN BE SO KIND AND SOFT, ACTUALLY. she also is so fucking funny i adore her. her insert song is so so beautiful like GENUINELY like her voice and then the lyrics are so wonderful ;-;;; BUT ITS ALL WASTED ON ROSWAAL…… GRRR…. anyway she is an absolute queen in my eyes. i love her so much. i hope she gets away from roswaal fr. she deserves everything ;-;;;;;; i still havent read all her side stories but i gotta!!! esp the ones on her backstory!!!!!!! and i would love to explore her and roswaal’s relationship in a fic someday bc it is So Interesting to me….. and i NEED closure on those damn plot points….

OK ALSO ADDITIONALLY several several months ago i bought a blind bag rezero keychain irl and GOT RAM so like she is proudly going on all my adventures with me. ram my beloved.

here she is

and also. i cant fully articulate all my feelings on how her backstory has shaped her (and i want to make sure i am AN EXPERT on her backstory first akdndn) but like it is very very interesting. and she IS a strong person in fact!!!!!!

[isa-ah]

Honestly thank you for your take. Like, I’m easily agitable and get grumpy from stupid things and I *know* from my personality that T /is/ gonna make me angrier. But every time I try to say that, my girlfriend (also trans) tells me it won’t and that’s misinformation. Like…… I fucking know my mood and I’m tired of people invalidating my reasonable expectations for who I am as a person. I think it’s unreasonable to just expect me to be able to keep my cool through T and not have an adjustment period. And I feels like garbage that if I’m somehow affected by an expected change, the alternative is to immediately cannon-ball into toxic masculinity and suck up all my feelings into stoicism.

these tags someone put on the original post vvvvv

#i got some pretty wild mood side effects on t and Yeah it affected my libido #but you know what? #T making me angry taught me a lot about anger #it was an emotion that had been explosive for me Before transition#and i had a really bad temper #T made me angry with enough regularity #that i had to learn to coexist with anger #to let anger exist and pass #i ironically gained a lot More patience because I got angry #i learned that it- like any other feeling- is worth looking at and examining#and now i pretty much never act in anger #i know how to be angry and let it exist and know it's not some Evil Sinful Thing or some Righteous Moral Fury#which i didn't before taking a medication that made me angry!!! #anger is okay! #being angry or horny or loud does not make you surrender all your morals and fundamentally doomed to being cruel to others! #no reaction in your body or emotion or feeling Dooms You to be Evil or Abusive #lots of things make people angry #and it's okay! #it's okay to be angry!

theres also the fact that like, theres a likelihood your gf went through a period of "boys will be boys" where she was allowed to experience puberty and act out and be a wild child freak as most kids experiencing a testosterone driven puberty are, around peers also going through it, around understanding of "well thats just how it is", with male role models to explain to her whats happening, why, and to some extent how to handle it; VS being in your twenties (assuming u are) and being expected to be polite and well mannered going through the Same Type of Puberty as a 13yo boy with all the problems of a 20smtn adult man, with a hearty lack of male role models to help you through it and MOUNTAINS of stress and work and the world burning down that a kids never going to have to deal with.

we dont get the leeway to have an adjustment period, and no amount of baby talking us into believing it wont happen will make it not happen. it just means we have to do the emotional labor to "spare" everyone else. (as dfab people are expected to do from childhood). given that testosterone does effect you in that way cause obviously its not the same for everyone, but you know yourself and you sound pretty damn aware of it.

have a messy transition! act out! be loud! you DESERVE to have the formative experience associated with your puberty, and youll probably learn a lot about yourself in the process. you have self awareness and coping skills a kids not going to have, so you CAN experience your anger, your aggression, and learn how to live WITH it instead of trying to bottle it up.

[mushroom-ooooooooooooooo]

Rating Characters I've had crushes on. Pt 1.

Disclaimer!!! This will get more unhinged as we go on. I somehow have a thing for dilfs and its kind of weird but whatever. This part is just male characters that I can remember. If you judge, please do it anonymously in my ask box bc I like being a little messy at times/hj. Not all of these were sexual byw!! I was like 9-12 with some of these crushes

Wanring: i am a horny teen girl whos never had a boyfriend. It will get bad.

Book Characters:

Remus Lupin. 10/10. Still fixated on him and his complex character. Hate JKR and her stupid terfy face and literal racism and the way she ruined some of her best characters. (Definitely not salty about tonks and her entire character becoming obsessed with Remus) RIP, bbg. You deserved a better author and less mischaracterization from the fandom.

Cedric Diggory. 8/10. The fixation didn't last long, but it was fun. I think I clinged to him because hes one of like 8 Hufflepuffs mentioned in the books and IM a Hufflepuff.

Percy Jackson. The icon. 9/10. Love that sassy mfer AND HES LOYAL TO ANNABETH?!?!? perfect. Had 9 year old Izzy in a chokehold.

Nico Di Angelo. 7/10. I think I wanted to be friends with him tbh. It wasn't really a crush but more of a 'i am him, and he is me.' He just like me fr fr.

Carlise Cullen. 9/10. Hes a vampire doctor father figure. All the boxes were checked. I don't know why, but I read the hospital scene in twilight and my brain went blank. Same with watching the movie as an 8 year old. Got me giggling and twirling my hair.

Atticus Finch. 11/10. You're starting to see a pattern, aren't you? Bonus point for doing the right thing despite common beliefs at the time of TKAM. He's literally such an interesting character and I think I either want to be fucked by him, or I want him to be my father. I can't decide. He was also played by Gregory Peck, so...🫡 yeah.

Klaus Boudelaire. 7/10. He was smart, and little Izzy had a fixation on smart boys who would read. The actor who played him also looked like my third grade crush and 8 year old Izzy was smitten. I would've been best friends with him fr fr. Count Olaf can catch these pale hands.

Anime Characters:

I would like to preface this by saying I was in middle school and unmedicated. I am still unmedicated, but it was worse then. Thank you for your understanding about whatever the fuck this is about to say about me.

Sebastian Michaelis. 9/10. Still fixated on him. -1 for almost dying multiple times. Black Butler is STILL my shit. It was the first anime I was really into. First Manga I ever read. First hyperfixation I can remember that wasn't a book series, not counting My Little Pony. I saw the butler and father figure and 11 year old Izzy went 👀.

William T Spears. 8/10. I don't know what it was. I just liked him a LOT. The mental illness was taking over.

...Ciel Phantomhive. 7/10. Same reasons as Nico. I wont elaborate further.

Levi Ackerman. 10/10. Who wasn't obsessed with Levi when watching AOT?? Pfff imagine liking a type of napoleon bonapart 🧍‍♂️. Couldn't be me. Not at all. 🧍‍♂️.

Shouta Aizawa. 11/10. I have no words to explain why my brain decided the teacher was my crush. Hes twice my age. Hes sleep deprived. He has zero patience left. But my brain said tehehe go for THAT one. And he was just trying to sleep in that yellow sleeping bag.

Shoto Todoroki. 6/10. I was influenced by the fandom at the time. Hes...fine I guess. Another complex traumatized character. Had 11 year old Izzy in a chokehold. Idfk.

(Unfortunately) Kai Chisaki. 3/10. He was hot to 13 year old Izzy. Complex character but unfortunately a bad person. Can't defend myself here.

Dabi. 4/10. It's slightly better than Chisaki. Had a love/hate thing. I wrote a fanfic about ripping his staples out and leaving him to die. I had problems, if you couldn't tell. Thats literally the only violent thing I'd ever written and it was one of my most popular fics on my old blog (RIP all the fics I deleted)

Kusuo Saiki: 10/10. Looking back on it, he's literally so me core. Would we be friends irl? Probably not. I think my intrusive thoughts would take him back and he'd be like '...what the fuck??' So yeah. But also yeah. He's literally so me. He just wants to be left alone but ALSO SECRETLY ADORES HIS FRIENDS!!!! Had middle school me in a deadlock. Still have stickers of him (everyone say thank you jamie).

TV and Movies:

The Beast from Beauty and the Beast. 6/10. I think its kind of common for little girls. Idk.

Prince Eric. 9/10. I think he was also common for little girls. Bro was brainwashed but lowkey reluctant bc I think he KNEW Ariel was the singing girl. I love himbos.

The Phantom of the Opera. 10/10. We love serial killers who are also obsessive but also very fucked up. And he can play the organ 🙂. Yumby. It was fruit for the soul. Talking about 2004 movie, but 1990s miniseries Erik was also good.

I guess Carlise Cullen coukd also be over here but wtv.

Bela Lugosi Dracula. 7/10. -3 bc I haven't seen the movie but hes so <333. Book Dracula is also <333. They're both such menaces but also so <333

Jack Skellington. I can't even rate this. I have no words for myself.

Beetlejuice. Same with Jack. I have no words for myself.

Hannibal Lecter (NBC series). 9/10. Most recent as of the day im making this. -1 point for making Will go insane. Bros literally insane. I would let him manipulate me 😍/hj. Just kidding. If he was my therapist I would cry. He would say something after psychoanalyzing me and I would start sobbing. And then he'd kill me. Boom.

Will Graham. 9/10. Tbh!!! More of a father figure crush thing. Is also my type. Tragic brunette with glasses. Bro needs a fucking break. Please let him live peacefully. (Number one Jack Crawford hater‼️‼️)

Musicians:

Jareth the Goblin King. 8/10. I love David Bowie. Thats all.

Dracula Tepes (Castlevania). 9/10. Yes he tried killing humanity. They killed his wife. It was only fair. Another vampire dilf. Gotta love em.

Adrian Tepes. ^ 9/10. Dracula's tragic vampire son. I HAVE A TYPE.

Papa Emeritus III: Ghost. 9/10. Made a great Album (Meliora). Our great icon. Wants to fuck Omega (Ghoul) and tbh I get it. Those ghouls are sooo awesome and cool. I love a short flamboyant man who can sing. Favorite song of his is Cirice. And Bible. Bible is underrated fr fr. Is my favorite Papa from Ghost but honestly I love all of them so count that 9/10 as a rating for all of them.

Papa Emeritus IV. 9/10. I love him too. Tbh. The Papa that I have been around for. Thank you Frater Imperator‼️‼️. You go Copia. Hes so bbg coded. Bro has glittery jackets and sings about Rats. Who wouldn't love that??

David Bowie: 10/10. Less of a crush and more of a I love his music so much and I need ALL OF YOU to know.

Video Games

Jumin Han (Mysmes). 8/10. He was the first good ending I got between him and 707. Had me stressing. Does Jumin Han Is Gay? (Maybe). Had 12 year old izzy questioning things.

707. ^-^. 9/10. Mfers route had me STRESSING. it took me 6 WEEKS to get the good ending and when I finally got it, my mom was like woah good for you hon. So -1 point for that, but also +1 to the traumatized smart boy type I have. Tried Honey Butter chips bc of him. Went hard asf. Got harrassed by an adult bc of a fanfic I liked on here. That was fun.

Julian Devorak. 10/10. He was the only route I've finished on The Arcana and I love him with all my heart. Lowkey wish there was less smut about him. I wanna give this tall ginger man a bone crushing hug.

Link (LOZ). 6/10. I was four.

Sebastian (Sdv) 10/10. I play his route every single time. Literally at 6 hearts with him rn at winter year 1. Hes also the sad coder core. I think I have a type. Idk.

Barbatos (Obey Me). 10/10. Same as Sebastian Michaelis. Something about OP butlers.

Lucifer (Obey Me) 10/10. I always wanted to hug him and then run away like a chaos child. More of a platonic thing for both him and Barbatos. Inner child screamed. I would literally play obey me for hours. It was always open on my little Moto E6. Deleted Mystic Messenger for it. And vice versa. Fun stuff.

Anywaysss haii thats all for now!! Part 2 will probably be soon. Maybe. It'll be all the women I had crushes on as a child. I was very gay. I go both ways. Fr fr.

[moth-in-the-moon]

I get what you mean. I might sound controversial here but Si Spurrier took Chuck Austen's spot in my list of bad Nightcrawler writers for awhile now.

After this tho ? This whole 6$ mess?? I actually prefer Austen to him. It's incredible.

Should have seen this coming, all the clues were there from the start : Nightcrawler's selective memory on everything he went through, none of his friends caring about him (100× worse than Austen on this one), that bit in Legion of X where we could see Nightcrawler's s3xual fantasies which included a woman that straight up looks like Rogue, the whole Mother Righteous deal, the Golden Child in Nightcrawlers (we went all later season Rick and Morty here) and of course the Margali fiasco, to which I'm still going "why just why" whenever I think about it especially after finding out Orchis actually has a magic user (new oc from Dark X-Men) who captured an alternative version of Nightcrawler + Madelyne Pryor before Fall of X went down (so like why tf couldn't they have another oc or just her be behind Legion of X's horn plot instead of the only good parent Kurt has??)

Just get Si Spurrier away from Nightcrawler forever. I'm begging here

Who are you and how did you find me

Outside of getting an ask that isnt from people I talk to on the daily, i assume, uh. Yeah what's been happening to Kurt has all kinda a big mess.

People can like the retcon and more power to them if they do, but I just. personally dont like how it messes with everything (a la Maximoffs arent Magnetos kids anymore, but somehow worse?) Full on explaination of my thoughts under the read more, be warned though, it might be a bit messy just based on it being me trying to collect my thoughts in a written form

Spurrier has made some very weird choices in the comics, definitly, though not all of them suck IMO.

(I'm probably the one person who thought about how Azazel has basically soul magic and how Kurt could thusly have magic aswell, meaning that Hope Sword being a magic weapon that kurt made in his soul (one which he should not have, but apperantly grew back) satisfied me and me specifically beccause AHA magical kurt!)

BUT YEAH NO, they messed up Margali ALOT, which, read the headline she is my girl, I liked seeing her again but WOW did they not understand her and what she does and the way they characterized her could be considered a form of character-assasination and possibly even. downright horrible considering the fact that she is a roma woman (though lets be real there are many issues with how writers treat the romani characters and as someone who is not romani, I wont speak on it in detail now, cause it's not really my place. but like man); Mr Sinisters rule 63 self was a whole thing, again as my headline says, do not like her., i think her character was handled horribly. Plus they made her like. the reason why margali does magic and as the number one margali fan in the world, thats bullshit. Margali has been sorcerer supreme twice, possibly even trice depending on how you read her being guardian of limbo so having her get to that point cause some fuckin Nathaniel Essex clone was like "teehee i actually gave you magic" and then making her take margalis magic and kill her?? It's bad. (also i dont like the way she looks, why would she look so different from other essex clones, its just. aesthetically weird to me); On the note of the nightcrawlers, I actually quite liked them as a concept, though I think they couldve gotten more creative with their designs. Please make them look like more than just character but hit with a blue coat of paint, theyre a mix of two genetic samples, not a full clone of one character. They are in a sense of biology, children of those two characters, dont make them look boring also dont like how two of them had a baby. they both have 50 percent kurt DNA. thats. thats not gonna be a healthy baby. Do like the baby tough, shout out to the god baby, her concept is way too funny to dislike.

NOW, I will say, reading over the stuff again, i feel like its implying that Raven used a bit of the dna from the baron and azazel for the whole, having a baby thing???

WHICH, if I'm reading that right, might actually mean that they just actually did the most insane move of basically going "actually every bio-parent we've ever given Kurt is Kurts Bio-Parent" and I would actually respect that and it would change my opinion on this comic INSTANTLY because this kind of shark jumpery would be amazing.

But either way, I feel like retconning everything is really bad for everyones characterization, especially Destiny and Mystiques, part of it being the "oh we had to leave you cause future vision said so" feels very much like them trying to find an excuse for why they wouldnt raise their child

Idk it feels weird to have him be raven and irenes beloved darling child that they were forced to give up when you have mystique and destiny not really giving a shit about kurt, like ever previously in the comics.

To me it feels empty and almost like a cheap reference. It isnt something easily inserted in todays canon, years ago, when we didnt have all the baggage of years of interactions, you couldve easily added that fact and explained why they left him, but now, its a mess

Plus they JUST brought Az back in the comics in the dark x-men thing, which. feels like really bad timing, if they just let azazel fade from memory and then do the retcon like "yeah kurt just dreamt all of that demon stuff teehee", it'd be annoying but.

He's in comics.

Recent comics.

Why would you remind everyone of his existence, yknow, the man literally made and designed to be kurts bio-dad down to basically being a red Kurt with straight hair and without ectrodactyly. and then. retcon him being the father.

It feels so weirdly timed, did they not talk to eachother when planning these series??

Also I get that not everyone likes Azazel and his deal, which is fair, he's a kinda one note weirdo guy, but idk man. I like him. I think he's funny, I like villains like him being just annoying pests.

ALSO!! Spider-Kurt is actually one of my favourite things recent comics has done, because FUNFACT there's a character who we only ever see the tombstone off on battle world, from a different universe, called Amanda Wagner-Parker aka Spider-Crawler and. I am kinda obsessed with her?? Like. They actually just gave us a hinted at Kurt/Peter kid a tonne of years ago??? possibly??? like that??? and no one ever talks about her So them making Kurt be buds with Peter and hang out was actually catering to me specifically. That was a good idea. Kurt as spiderman with magic powers was written for my tastes and no one elses ever actually

Also uh, all comic characters are technically ocs so being like "ooo new oc from this" feels a bit dismissive to me, just say character

[destinyc1020]

I see where the anon is coming from, not in the sense of the same actors being "recycled" but when a white actor is in something that people love they almost instantly become famous whereas if someone was POC they dont get that same treatment, they are almost sidelined or subjected to racism and harrassment so visibility is almost a double edged sword for POC actors especially black actresses.

Yeah its an issue in fandoms, racism and in general the erasure of fans of color tends be a significant problem not to say they dont exist, they do. I agree from my perspective like we love our artists down, but we also tend to keep it in our community as well, like growing up we knew jaime foxx, tyra, denzel, martin alwrence, jada and keke and we loved them and the messy gossip, same with BET etc. Like for us we are quick to defend our people and keep it within our spaces if you know what I mean. Like I think about keke palmer like thats sister, like we will defend her cause she understands the culture and she was a part of black television forevwr part of our childhoods same with zendaya( though there is a problematic contingent of blackfans that question her blackness, which a by product of systemic white supremacy and racism)

Thank you Anon for explaining that.

I do think that on some degree, black actors just aren't given the same level of fame or excitement. That also has to do with the demographic of this country, and let's also not forget that some counties overseas are WAY more racist even than the US.

I will STILL not forget how China (one of the biggest box office nations) and even South Korea attacked Halle and had one of the lowest box office numbers when "The Little Mermaid" hit theaters due to Halle's race. 😤

Some countries will even straight up ERASE people of color from the posters even though they are featured on the US version just simply because they are black. 🙄

Sad to say, racism is a GLOBAL problem, not just an American one, and therefore, I don't think too many black actors will ever have the same "appeal" (esp worldwide) as their white counterparts. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think Will Smith was really one of the very few who was on top and seemed to have a lot of crossover appeal, with people from all over the color spectrum loving him and his films. Will used to put butts in SEATS.

Now look.... 🥴 One bad decision during a LIVE Oscar show program and now he's blacklisted until goodness knows when. 😩

[zushimart]

I think him not deleting himself is a better way for the story when it comes to meeting the people he's affected, I just think that the way he deleted himself was better way for the story for himself. I think they handled his attempted suicide and attempt to fix things really well, because not only does it show that you can't actually change the past or future of teyvat unless you're an alien variable, but also that he was willing to take his life for a person he spent hundreds of years "hating" just because he learned they didn't betray him. It just fits really well with how he still hadn't moved on from the death of the first people who let him exist as himself.

I'm explaining this kinda messy because I'm hungry rn :/ but what I mean is I think what they did with the story was the best for both teyvat lore in general and also his own self, but if he's to meet the inazuma squad in an event or something I think it's gonna be kinda messy to write it well. Like maybe they'll just include a line that's like "oh yeah the traveller told me about you etc etc" and I don't really want that, but I also don't want one of those black background white text "wanderer explains what he did in the past" so even though I really like the way it's written I'm kinda worried for the conclusion of his own arc (kaedehara buddhist enlightenment) because I can't think of a way to show it well without it being either very long or anticlimactic

YESSSS i agree with you onn that. i think ive talked about how i do like (from a storytelling perspective, not.. you know.. LOL) the severity and SWIFTNESS of his decision to erase (kill) himself. it was very stomach-dropping in the moment if you were someone that already cared about him. i actually remember putting the game down and walking over to my roommate to just sit in silence for a little bit LMFAOOO. it exemplifies how impulsive & swayed by emotion he is and just how deeply his self hatred motivates his actions as well as his EXTREME DESIRE to love and trust others (and how he felt like he couldnt for so so so long). but i also think it effectively shook any mistaken preconceptions other players might have had if they werent as invested in his character (people who thought he was irredeemably evil or inherently malicious in character, it's pretty hard to believe that about someone who can regret their actions so much and so quickly and immediately try to correct what he's done at his own expense). i'll try and go find & reblog my initial thoughts ab the quest tbh i wanna go reread what i wrote.

from like an authorial perspective, erasing himself from irminsul feels very much like one of those "i want to write this so bad because i think it is a fascinating development for this character, but it does not fit in with what i want to do with this character in the future and therefore might be more trouble than its worth as it undermines other plot points i would like to achieve with this character" which when i encounter that i usually write the scene to get the inspiration OUT but treat it as a separate timeline or a "what if."

this is legit completely personal opinion so it doesnt rly fucking matter at all but i honest to god don't find "no matter what you do, the past cannot be changed" something to be particularly interesting. so i guess thats why i have so many qualms with this direction. maybe its bc like. duh. to me. and maybe bc im not particularly invested in the overall story, so i didn't catch anything it might move along in the traveler's development. So i guess thats why im a believer in 'this could have been done differently and better. some Other way for him to find out about niwa.' especially because i've already had a myriad of qualms with the storytelling regarding scara before this point. so my perspective is a bit warped by opinions .

i think i just HATTTE the clunkiness that i expect to follow in regards to his character relationships. like there is something so uncomfortable about it to me like, i just.. u word it very well. it's gonna be Messy. and im always stressed about "messy," especially because i already felt like the storytelling behind his resolution was Already messy. the quest itself re-iterated his past .. so many times... i remember getting Annoyed... (through a) already accessible lore, b) that stupid academic paper, c) irminsul scene d) the "storybook", ANDDD e) re-living his memories... it felt very repetitive, almost overkill to me). so im just dreading what's to come especially if has to re-hash things to characters in-game that have already been explained to the player literally four sometimes five times over. i just want to get to new developments, NEW plot-points, NEW storylines and i want them to be COMPELLING and i want him to develop COMPLEX and MOVING and STRONG character relationships.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Is it normal to get somewhat annoyed at matty sometimes for being so vauge?? Lol. I just find it kind of like 🙄 when he drops his little hints or whatever. On the one hand, I think it’s nice that he’s trying to be more sincere and tell us stuff like… what ATVB was about, what ATPOAIM is and how it’s different, all that stuff… but he’s also so bad at finishing his own thoughts 😂 it’s frustrating. I feel like I only end up with more questions when he tries to explain stuff. I guess it’s endearing in a way. But sometimes I just wanna be like “bro it’s ok. You can just said you did a weird show last year because you wanted to be shocking and cool. And then you got bored of it and you’re doing a chill show now”

At this point I feel like.. he’s tried to tell us or explain to us why the change happened so many times, in such confusing ways, that he should just write something. Release an article or post on Reddit or something lol. I love him so much but the way he explains stuff is so hard for me to comprehend sometimes. Probably my fault.

Do you have any thoughts on it? Sorry I just needed to rant Lowkey

Hmmmm, you raise a lot of interesting points in your observation. I think my feelings about this are kind of mixed but I’ll try to explain. I’ve been awake for 24 hours now, though, so forgive the messiness.

1. Does it frustrate me when Matty is vague? Fuck yeah! I always say that I don’t ever wanna meet Matty because it would kill me to only have a selfie or a hug with him. I don’t want that shit. I want, a solid hour of his time, just me and him. One on one. If he’ll let me buy him a cup of coffee or lunch or something so I could pick his brain about a million things I wish I could ask him. So….yeah.

2. That said, though, I don’t think that Matty’s ATVB show was ever meant to be shocking for its edginess or whatever. He’s said a lot of times that the idea of being subversive just to be subversive doesn’t really do much for him. Cuz, like, the goal of edgy and subversive art that does it for the hell of it is that order will ultimately be re-established. Like you’re not actually doing anything revolutionary. You’re just flirting with the idea so that someone will smack you down and tell you “that’s naughty don’t do that!” And everything will go back to the way it was. So, if THATS not Matty’s goal with the messy show, then what’s his goal?

Fuck if I know, lmaoooo. No, for real, I don’t know cuz I’m not inside his mind, but I’m guessing, just based off what he says and based on my own interpretation, that he was running an elaborate experiment that kind of ran its course. At its core, it was a continuation of Being Funny. So, like, deconstructing masculinity. But I think even more fundamentally than that, it’s about what it means to be a human being. Maybe I’m bringing my own literature background to this, but when he keeps saying “if it’s method acting but what you’re acting is actually you’re real life, then what’s real and what’s not?” I kind of understand that as, like, “is there an internal self outside of what we perform?” We all perform our gender, sexuality, morality, etc. we dress a certain way, we speak a certain way, we abide by certain rules and social conventions etc, is there anything else underneath that or is that all the self really is?

I think he sets up this whole acting thing just as “performance” to allow himself to really be open. Like, if he has conditioned us to think that everything he does onstage is fake then he can allow himself to be earnest and sincere without fear of judgement cuz any minute he can just be like HAHA JUST KIDDING YOU FELL FOR IT ! So it’s kind of safer than if he were to open up just as a normal human and start saying everything directly. So, by “acting” he’s in a weird way “being more real.” BUTTTTT we saw how that backfired so, I guess he re-evaluated? Or maybe he’d always intended on dropping the act eventually cuz, logistically, I imagine it would have cost Dirty Hit EVERYTHING it has, to bring that set over to the Asia, Australia and South America sides of the world. Idk. That’s one thing I wish I could ask him.

Judging by his deactivating of Instagram and the desire for more sincerity, it might be that his lil experiment kind of gave him the courage he has needed all along. He did it enough times with the safety net of “performance” that he’s sort of getting comfortable just being a guy now. I imagine the backlash he’s been facing (before Taylor. I’m talking podcast and shit) might have factored into it. Like he feels that everyone has this idea about who he is so he might as well just be himself and fuck everything else? Idk. Wish some interviewer would ask him about it.

Sorry for the long ass rant. I’m a mess. I hope this makes a crumb of sense but I doubt it honestly. You’re asking really smart questions though. I’m just too dumb.

[sk1nn13-l0v3-06]

this is going to be more of a rant/vent post sorry guys

this is going to come out messy and hard to understand since i dont really know how to word all of this im just typing as the words come into my head,

i am really not doing ok at all, i dont even know how to explain the emotion im feeling since i have never felt it before, yeah i have had really depressive episodes many times over the past 7 years, i've had my fair share of panic attacks and attempts etc.

but this, i dont even know what this is, all i know is that i hate this feeling so much, i was starting to feel better a few days ago after feeling really low for a few months, but then out of nowhere this weird emotion hit me and hasnt gone away yet, i cant sleep and havent slept for 3 maybe 4 days, i find myself no being able to understand whats going on at points as if i just forget who i am and where i am and this will last for a few seconds before i just feel really weird, ill have this feeling of dread as if something really bad is about to happen, followed by extreme paranoia, ill feel extremely nauseous at random points in the day, then at some points ill just get this rush of su1cidal urges, all the things i just listed are the feelings that im experiencing that are accompanying the bigger feeling that i cant describe, if i was to try to explain the big feeling thats causing all this i would maybe say its like a discomfort? but to everything, my skin, the smells around me, the colours and temperature, like i mean EVERYTHING, and not in the overstimulated way, i mean in like an odd way that i literally want to end it all so i dont have to experience it anymore,

i also keep being convinced that there is people outside my window about to break in, or even things in my room but this part could just be due to the fact im extremely tired

anyway thats all, i just really wanted to get this out and see if anything knows what the fuck is going on right now because i have no clue what im experiencing

[normansnt]

For heavens sake (good omens x OC)

"The book must be here... one minute please I shall find it soon" said Aziraphael muttering the first part, his voice got louder around the end so the costumer waiting by the door could hear.

The book the nice old Lady was looking for was one which he did not mind selling all that much, so he helped with the same kind smile he always held. "Where in the name of heaven... ah here you are" said Aziraphael smiling at the book he was now holding in his hand.

"Oh hello, little fellow"

heard Aziraphael the voice of the lady suddenly from the front of the store. He was kind of confused. Crowley did not announce any visits and he didn't get costumers that often this Lady was lucky to catch him on the street. When he got out from behind the book shelfs he nearly dropped the book he was holding.

There, in front of the old lady stood a child, with brown short messy hair hanging in his face and a cunfused yet kind smile on his face, oh he also had two small (well for his size normal) wings. Aziraphael new immediately what the child...or small person, he just looked like a child, was.

A cherub.

One of the guardians of the garden of eden.

He immediately panicked.

"Oh, Mr.Fell this child is just adorable with his little wings is he your son?" Asked the lady with a kind smile. She must have thought the wings were fake, since she was acting as calm as ever.

"YES" yelled Aziraphael happy that the lady helped him come up with an explanation.

"Khmm, I mean yes" he said now with his normal tone of voice.

"He is indeed, my son erhmm..." the angel was looking around for god knows what that could help him come up with a name, slightly panicked again, when his eyes landed on the original copy of the book A Man Called Norman by Mike Adkins, a beloved story of his

"Norman, he is my son...Norman"

5 years later

"Pop 'm home from practice." Yelled a young voice filling up the silence in A.Z.Fell and Co.

A 'child', well based on looks, with short messy brown hair and mischievous eyes wearing a baseball jersey with a black long sleeve underneath and sweatpants a baseball bat sticking out of his bag.

Norman threw his bag on the floor next to the door. When he proceeded to go further into the shop he suddenly stopped.

He turned a bit back and looked at the half naked arc angel of heaven.

"Erhmmm...hi" said Norman kind of awkwardly not understanding what the hell/heaven is going on.

"Hello" smiled Gabriel

"Sorry...what are you doing here?"

When Aziraphael came back from the kitchen with hot chocolate he saw his son sitting with Gabriel and...chatting happily?

"Norman! You are back from practice I did not hear you come in." He said nervously

"Oh hey pops, yeah I'm back I was jut talking to...Jim... and he is really funny"

"Hah...yes, yes really funny could you please come with me back to the kitchen I... I'll make you a hot cocoa as well" smiled the man but it was more of a panicked smile than anything else.

"Sure" said the boy then stood up and followed his father into the kitchen.

When they entered the room Aziraphael told everything that happened, to his son, finding Gabriel outside naked, him not remembering anything etc.

"Wow" was the only reaction Norman gave to the situation.

"Thats it?" Asked Aziraphael not believing his son is not as freaked out as him.

"I mean yeah its a bad situation, but like you have to admit, its pretty funny"

The white haired angel stared at his son not believing his ears.

"No, it most certainly is not" said Aziraphael with as much of a scolding tone as he could muster.

"Oh pops calm down, he is much nicer this way and also you and dad solve everything together so I'm not so worried, I was just explaining the rules of baseball to him and he wants me to teach him, I mean that will just be hilarious" smiled the boy at his father.

When Norman appeared because he was kicked out of protecting the garden due to his lack of ability to focus on one thing. Aziraphael took it on himself to help him and take care of him, the poor cherub didn't even get to keep his name, heaven took it. And since the angel decided, Crowley had to go along with it. At the beginning he didn't do much with Norman, he just ignored the cherub and kept visiting his angel. But as time went on he started to like the little guy figuring out that the young ex guardian had quite a sense for mischief and liked to cause just a bit of harmless havoc. Like when they both turned of the electricity for the entire block, or when they wanted to put stray cats into the garden of the old hag who always yelled at them when they were playing catch in front of her house, but almost got caught.

Then on accident, just like with Aziraphael the 'pops', the word 'dad' just slipped out. But the Cherub didn't even notice so they just stuck to it.

Aziraphael had to admit imagining Gabriel trying to hit a baseball, not to mention trying to win against his son, who was, a very good player by any standard (Aziraphael never missed a chance to bring that up as well) was quite humorous.

However the problem at hand still bothered him greatly.

"That might be true however-"

"AHH GABRIEL" they both turned in the direction of the living room when they heard Crowley scream. They looked at each other and then ran out of the kitchen to the main area of the bookshop.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" screamed Crowley at Gabriel

"I...am...Dusting" said Gabriel holding up the duster smiling. Norman started to chuckle finding this situation mildly amusing.

"ANGELS, what? what is he- you let the child stand that near, Norman come here" motioned Crowley for Norman to go to him trying to not burst into flames from anger.

Norman walked over to the demon calmly not really understanding the seriousness of the situation.

Crowley put his hands on the brunettes shoulders in a protective manner while looking at Gabriel fuming .

"WHAT IS He doing here?" Tried to control his anger Crowley.

And then Aziraphael told everything to him as well. At this point Norman was zoning out not listening to the conversation entirely, when he came back to his senses he said:

"I gave him the duster I thought if we have an unwelcome guest who has no idea about anything might as well get the best out of it". Crowley would have been proud if he wasn't that damn angry.

--------------------------------------------------------------

DUBADUBADUBDUB IM NOT DEAD

That would have sounded better if it would have rhymed

ANYHOW I didn't post for this long cuz ADHD is ADHD-ing and my hyperfixations change from week to week so i couldn't just write one piece all the time but now this blog is for all my bullshit so now Imma post A LOT

In the meantime my fics have gotten so much love and some of y'all followed me as well I am so greatfull for it thank you so much guys🥰

Well, ladies, gentlemen, and others I hope you enjoyed your reading, good afternoon good evening and goodnight🦖🧡

[anxiouslyextroverted]

any hot takes about anything?

I got heaps but the main 2 I've been thinking of currently have been.

I do not like people who tell me that me saying "I have autism" is bad.

I do not like the quote 'practice makes perfect'

So the first one about autism. I got my autism diagnosed at 6 and from that point onwards especially at school, my autism was seen by everyone as just my identity, I was called autistic as an insult on the daily basis and multiple slurs. so the idea that people are trying to say to me that "I'm autistic > I have autism" is weird to me cuz not only have I experienced more ableism from people that have used the "identity first" language, but I also have used these terms interchangeably. Its not that I see autism as a disease, I just used them interchangeably. but I always prefered saying "I have autism" because it makes me feel more comfortable seeing Autism as this extra thing to me rather than just my whole identity because my whole life I've had to convince so many people that no, autism is not just my identity, I have a personality outside of my autism diagnosis ffs. So yeah. Whenever psychologists and people in general saw me as "autistic" that was fine until they made it my entire being. My parents, friends, helper teachers would always say "Oh you're shy right now, thats you being autistic" "oh you're talking a lot its cuz you're autistic" , "You're not introverted, you're autistic." Its fine to use identity first language ofc if it validates you to be proud of autism, but I wish ppl would undestand that there are so many people that are uncomfortable with just being seen as 'autistic' as their identity, when I just can't see autism as my identity. So many times where I've had to tell people all my life "I'm me. My autism BARELY effects me." and im sorry if that is insensitive but its an objective fact for me that my autism does not effect me nearly as much as my helper teachers, friends and family claimed it did. I hope that explains why I just get so annoyed when people try to change my way of seeing it srry. Autism is not who I am. I'm me before my autism. Personality comes first.

And the second one about the practice makes perfect. I have been drawing since I was 7 years old. I drew on the daily basis both digitally and traditionally and I'm 20 now and you'd think I'd be at a pro level since I have been drawing every single day since 7 but no... I'm barely even intermediate. I'm average, I can't even draw angles or perspective and it took me last week to actually know how to draw lighting + lineart. So Practice doesn't always make perfect. What makes you good at things is practicing the right way. My years of drawing never worked out because I am naturally a messy person who can't draw angles and shit like that, I was learning how to draw overall rather than focusing on fundamentals (watching tutorials on how to draw manga chars rather than tutorials on anatomy ect is oof), I treated art like a stim rather than actually focusing like I would dissociate always and not think whilst drawing, memory bad, I have blind optimism which is just seeing things as way better than they really are. It srsly didn't help that so many of my friends learnt how to draw like a pro within 2 WEEKS which was insane to me. So yeah I just hate that quote. I'd ague that even practicing the right way may not even work either, some people just arent born for certain things. Like aphantasia and dyslcalculia seriously impact my ability to draw. Oh and this didn't just happen with drawing but with dancing too, I danced ever since 3 and I should be a pro but I'm not and all my practice amounted to nothing.

so ye theres some takes ig. The 2nd ones less controversial but I just feel so strongly about it cuz im sick of artists in particular getting told "just try" "just draw everyday" "just practice" and fuck it, its how i feel about exposure therapy too. I did performing in front people + public speaking since i was 9 and it never once improved my social anxiety infact I'm pret sure it made it worse. "oh you have social anxiety. just do confident things" bro that doesn't always work for peoplee

[imthebadguyyy]

A/N - based off of this sinful photograph

Suggested listening - Wildside by Normani and Kiss It Better by Rihanna

Wildside

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You've been on tour for a while, and you miss your loverboy. But when he surprises you on tour, its bound to get spicy.

Warnings - smut (not well written)

The snap of hips. The soft groans and moans. The sound of pants. The sound of Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' blaring through the walls. The bed knocking against the wall as Lewis's hands squeezed your hips, the intensity of the thrust pushing the bed against the wall. The high pitched moan that left your mouth as you reached your high, eyes closing as stars exploded behind your eyelids, as your boyfriend came right after you, your walls clenching as he came. Even after reaching your high, you didn't want to open your eyes, far too consumed in the earth shattering pleasure that was coursing through your veins, until a soft hand reached to pull your chin up, soft brown eyes looking into your own, clouded with lust and euphoria.

Pulling your mouth into his in a heated kiss, Lewis moved his hand to rest on your bare stomach, squeezing your tummy softly as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away he let his head droop onto your bare chest. "That was.." he began, far too blissed out to think of an adjective. "Godly" you said, chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to come to terms with the intensity of your orgasm. Laughing he leaned back up to kiss your nose, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. You heard the tap running, and the sound of the dustbin opening and closing. You closed your eyes again, the aftershocks still coursing through your body.

Opening them again slowly, you saw Lewis walk towards you, towel in hand, and a lazy smile on his face. He gently cleaned your thighs, finishing with kisses on both of them. He reached up and wiped your torso, which was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, before running the towel over your nose, cheeks, eyes and mouth. He dropped the towel in the clothes hamper near the bathroom door, pulling on his boxer shorts and and pulling out one of his t shirts from the cupboard. "What about the clothes on the floor" you piped up, finally beginning to wake up from your post pleasure state. "When did it get so messy?" He said, spotting 5 different clothing items in 5 different corners of the room. "When you decided to run your hand up my dress in a restraunt" you replied, throwing him a fake glare.

"You liked it" was his cocky reply, smirk spreading over his face as you flushed and ran a hand through your hair. "I did not" you lied, watching as he raised his eyebrows. "Oh really ? Thats not what you were saying 5 minutes ago- oh wait, you weren't saying anything at all. You were too busy moaning my name to say anything else-" "OKAY fine I loved it. Now shut up and bring your fine ass back for cuddles"

*-*-*

That was a month ago. Now you've been away for nearly one and half months, away with the girls on the LM5 tour. You loved touring, it was the best part of being a singer, getting to see the music you girls made together come to life on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of screaming fans. It was a thrill like no other. The only problem was that you were away from home. Distance was never an issue for the two of you, after all, he was a Formula 1 driver. It was very rare that he was home, except during the breaks and the gaps till race weekend, but ever since you two had started dating, he tried to be with you whenever you could. Sometimes, your shows would be in places where the races were too, and then he'd definitely turn up. But it was a difficult thing to do all the time, and some nights on tour were spent pulling all nighters as you talked to each other on the phone, till one of you eventually fell asleep.

But you knew when you started dating him, this wouldn't exactly be a regular relationship. The two of you were doing your dream jobs, and they were both extraordinary. And you were willing to put in the work you had to put in to make the relationship work, and you did. Yet here you were in Madrid, feeling heartbroken and desperately wanting your boyfriend by your side. It had been a rough couple of weeks, you were jet lagged and tired, and although this was the second leg of the tour, and you had had a break, it was tiring. It was hard going to bed every night alone, when all you wanted was to cuddle your boyfriend.

Little did you know, Lewis was feeling the same. In fact he had missed you so much, he had told Angela and his publicist to cancel all events for a week, while he flew out to Madrid to see you. He had missed you, he had missed you more than he could put into words. But he also wanted to surprise you. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Leigh Anne's contact, and sent her a text.

Lewis, Leigh Anne

Hey. Is Y/N asleep ?

Hey! No, she's in an outfit fitting.

Okay that's good. I need your help with something.

Sure how can I help ?

I want to surprise her by coming to see you guys in Madrid.

Oh thats wonderful ! She's been a little down in the dumps. I think she misses you.

I miss her too.

Let me know when, and I'll send a car to pick you up.

I'll be there on Saturday. Landing at 3:15 and I should be at the hotel by 4:30. Then I can get ready and surprise her at the show.

Okay done. I'll send the car around 5:30,so you can rest for a bit. You should be here by 6. The show's at 6:15.

Thank you! Can't wait : )

I'm so happy youre coming to see her ! I'll let the girls know.

*-*-*

As soon as he had finished texting, Lewis decided to start packing, the prospect of seeing you again sending a buzz of happiness running along his veins. God, he had missed you a lot. He turned to Roscoe, the dog sitting by his feet, looking up at his dad with his head cocked to one side. "I'm going to go see Mumma, Roscoe" he explained, smiling as the doggo barked in response. He wouldn't be able to take him to Madrid, he'd have to leave him with a dog sitter, but he couldn't feel too bad about it, since he had had Roscoe with him even when you were gone. And besides, Roscoe enjoyed the dog creche. He couldn't wait for Saturday.

Later in the evening, he sat down with a glass of wine, while the ringtone of your FaceTime rang through the empty house. After a few more seconds of ringing, the call was picked up, your tired face coming into view. "Hi darling" he said, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, and how much you were struggling to keep them open. "Hi bubs. Did you finish eating?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "No, I've ordered soup" (did anyone get the reference ;) "Oh okay" was the reply. "What about you? What time is it?" "Its 9:20 AM" you replied, gently rubbing your eyes again, forcing yourself to stay awake.

"9:20? Thats pretty late baby. Why are you still sleepy?" "We were recording till 4 AM, so Im functioning on like 5 hours sleep right now" "Oh damn. Go back to sleep then baby" "Can't, rehearsal" was you reply, making him furrow his eyebrows. "Okay I guess. But don't tire yourself out" "I won't" "I love you" he said, smiling at you. "I love you"

*-*-*-*

The Madrid show was always a fun one. The fans were loud and you loved it. They were one of the best crowds you girls ever played for, and the show had its own adrenaline and excitement. But it was difficult to give a 100% when you were tired, but you really tried, you did. During Power, you hit highnotes you didnt think you could, during Woman Like Me you danced like there was no tomorrow. During Wasabi, you brought your sass level up to a 1000. It was during Bounce Back that you caught sight of a very familiar face in the audience. Unable to actually grasp if you had actually seen Lewis, you turned to Jade, who was on your side, and looked back at the crowd and back to her, asking for confirmation.

The smirk she gave you was answer enough. After that, focusing on giving an excellent performance increased tenfold. Every swirl of your hips, every flip of your hair, every wink you threw at the audience, it was all five times sexier. In the crowd, your boyfriend was well aware of what you were doing, and it was fair to say that you were succeeding at it. He could feel an uncomfortable sensation around his pants region, as his cock twitched uncomfortably in his pants. He couldn't wait till the show was over, and you two could have a show of your own.

*-*-*

"That was amazing darling!" Lewis said, spotting the 5 of you in your dressing room. "Oh look its Mr. Loverboy!" Perrie said, cackling as you rolled your eyes at her, before running up to your lover and jumping into his arms. "Hiya Bub! I missed you!" "I missed you too love. That's why I surprised you. I couldn't stand another day without you at home" he said, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you stable as you jumped into his arms. A chorus of "awws" echoed throughout the room, as the girls watched your cute little interaction. What wasn't cute however was the comment Lewis made in your ear, hiding his face in your ear so that the girls couldn't see. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel. I saw the performance you were putting on for me baby. You have no idea how hard I got, how uncomfortable I was standing in front of so many people when all I really wanted to do was fuck you"

You could feel your mouth become dry, and your heartbeat quicken, and you could feel the area between your thighs become wet. You tightened your grip around him, letting your crotch rub against his very softly. "I think it's time to go" you mumbled against his ear. "Okay girls, as lovely as it was to see you, I think it's time we go back to the hotel. I'm pretty worn out from travelling as well" "Yeah I'm pretty tired too" you replied, faking a large yawn. "Alright then, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" Leigh Anne said, leaning forward to give you a hug. After you finished hugging all the girls, the two of you made your way to the car, eagerly waiting to get back home.

The car ride home was tense. The tension was apparent in the air, reverberating through the air, choking you in a way you revelled in. The air was thick with tension, and it was suffocating you in the best way possible. It was almost too much to take. When the hotel came into sight, you practically leapt out of the car, and rushed to the door, an equally ruffled Lewis beside you. But he was not going to give in to you so easily. He enjoyed seeing you flustered. And he was not a person that gave someone what they wanted when they asked for it,no. He was going to have you desperate for it. Smirking to himself, he made his way to the reception, grabbing you by the waist as he went.

Throwing him a confused look you followed, slightly frustrated. "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man at the reception asked, eyes going slightly wide as he recognized the two of you. "Hi! I just wanted to ask, till what time is your pool and spa open?" He asked, sliding his hand down to the back of your dress. "The pool closes at 10 pm sir, and the spa at 9 pm. We open the pool at 7 am and the spa at 11pm"he replied, struggling to maintain his professionalism as he spoke to one of the best drivers in Formula 1. "Alright thank you. And what time does breakfast start?" Lewis asked, hand pressing down on your ass, ever so discreetly. "Breakfast is from 6-10 am sir" "Thank you so much"

Next to him, you were fuming. Of course he was going to ask questions to which he already knew the answers to. A painful throb between your legs made you let out a small whimper, and the man at the reception looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Ma'am are you alright?" He asked, eyeing your stiff posture and tense state. "Yes, just tired, thank you" you replied, a little stiffly, but it was hard to concentrate when Lewis's promise of fucking you senseless kept replaying in your mind. "Alright then, good night" Lewis said, biting back a smirk at your flustered state. He knew getting you all riled up would lead to some seriously earth shattering sex, and he couldn't wait. But first, he definitely wanted to tease you, to push you over the edge, just a little more.

Your room was on the 16th floor, and as the two of you made your way into the elevator, he eyed you up and down, eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts. The minute the door shut, he pushed you against the wall, capturing your lips in a steamy kiss you'd be remembering the next day. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing hard, eliciting a moan from your lips. The moment your lips parted, he was pushing his tongue into yours, his other hand coming up to pull on your hair roughly, relishing in the gasp that left your lips. As suddenly as he started, he stopped, pulling back and standing almost nonchalantly against the wall.

Trying to wrap your head around what happened, you gripped the wall with your hand, feeling your legs grow weak to a point where you felt like you couldn't stand on your own. You could feel your wetness dripping, threatening to run down your thighs, as the throbbing became even more painfully exciting. You looked down at the floor, eyes closing as your frustration grew more and more by the second. Finally, with a little 'ding', the elevator stopped at the 16th floor. The moment the door opened you stepped out on wobbly legs, trying your best to walk properly. But of course, that wasn't going to happen. As you turned one long corridor, Lewis suddenly grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall again, to reach down and suck on your neck. You let out a gasp, and tried to run your crotch against his, but the retaliated with a slap to your ass, smirking when a high pitched moan left your lips. Lifting you up against the wall, he mumbled against your ear "the key card" your clouded mind was unable to process the words, too consumed by slight relief you were getting. "Get the key card baby" he repeated. This time you noted it, reaching down to his pants pocket to pull out the key card. You couldn't resist running your hand over his cock, feeling how rock hard he was. The thought of him fucking you senseless returned, and you let out a groan.

Grabbing the card from your hand, he opened the door, propping you up against the door in your bedroom. His eyes were filled with a raw, animal desire, as he dropped the card on the floor and reached up to unzip your dress. He ripped the zipper down, your dress falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. He locked his eyes on your heaving chest, hand reaching up to grab your chin, pulling you in for a searing kiss. His hand slid up your torso, reaching behind to unhook the red lacy bra you were wearing, letting it drop to the floor as he took in the glorious sight in front of him. You waited, wanting him to just touch you, but he just stared, eyes looking into yours, clearly saying "beg for it"

You couldn't help the soft "please" that left your lips, too desperate for some sort of touch. "Please what?' Lewis said, tightening his grip on your waist. "Please" was all you could say again, nearly whimpering again at the rough look in his eyes. "Use your words baby. Now, please what?" "Please just touch me!" You finally gasped out, moaning loudly when he licked a stripe down your chest before taking your right tit into his mouth. His hand fondled the left one, running his thumb over your erect nipple, the rough pad of his thumb sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His mouth sucked on the skin of your tit, before moving down to bite down on your nipple. You gasped again, pain and pleasure coursing through your body as his tongue ran over your nipple over and over till it nearly felt raw. He switched his actions, moving his mouth to your left tit instead, letting his hand harshly fondle the other. He continued the same process of biting, licking and sucking, till he was satisfied with himself. "I fucking love this baby. Seeing you all wet and needy for me. So what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? My cock? Or does my baby want them all ?" He asked, watching as your pupils dilated and you let out a strangled moan.

You let your crotch rub against his thigh, gasping when the friction went straight to your core. "Look at you darling. I asked you what you what you wanted, and you picked my thighs? Well, I want to see you dripping. I want to see you cum on my fingers, my mouth, my thighs and especially on my cock. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again till you can't even stand on your own fucking legs. I want your thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to see you moan and groan and scream my name so loud, by tomorrow everyone in this hotel will know my name, because you'll spend all night screaming it" you moaned again, his words going straight to your core."Please Lewis, God, just make me cum please!" The desperation of your cry was enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping your body onto the soft mattress.

He pulled of shirt, unbuttoning every button so you could see him do it. He could see your eyes grow dark, as his compass tattoo came into sight. You had told him it was one of your favourites, and he had used it against you ever since you had told him that. Smirking at you, he climbed onto the bed, lying down between your legs. You pushed yourself up against the headboard, spreading your legs wide for him. His eyes grew dark, as your core came into his view, shimmering with your juices. A near animalistic growl left his mouth, the sound hitting your core. He moved so that he was situated right in front of your core. He let his eyes take in the sight of you in front of him, snapping back to reality when you let out a groan of frustration. Throwing you a devilishly reassuring smile, he inched neared and nearer, till his nose was nearly touching your clit. Then he just lay there. Not moving. You could feel your heartbeat hammering against your chest, chest heaving up and down, an alarming intense feeling growing in your tummy. Finally, when it became too much you let out a small scream of frustration "Oh for fucks sake Lewis please just fuck me!" Your outburst brought a smile to his face. "Oh I will. Just not yet" and with that, he ran a finger along your slit, before finally slipping it into you. You let out a moan, finally getting the friction you had been desperate for. His fingers circled your clit, thumb gently pressing down, before he removed it,only to slam it back down on your sensitive clit, earning a scream of pleasure from you.

He slipped a second finger into you, scissoring around your clit, as your desperate cries of "oh, oh baby! Fuck, fuck lewis-" were lost in the heat of the moment. He leaned his head down to your core, letting his tongue run along your slit too, before licking around it, collecting your wetness on his tongue, before letting it harshly circle your clit. You bucked up into his mouth, feeling his tongue wrap around your clit. He sucked the nub harshly, his fingers still moving in and out of you. "Oh God, Oh GOD, Lew-I- oh! Oh God!" Your broken moans were music to his ears as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You could feel a strange intensity growing in your stomach, feeling a lot stronger than your usual orgasm. The band in your tummy was threatening to snap, but you needed that something more to help it snap. That something more came when Lewis sucked your clit into his mouth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.

With a cry of "Oh fucking hell, Lew-" you camr gushing into his mouth, your juices coating his fingers and gushing onto his tongue, as he let you ride out your orgasm on his deadly skilled tongue. Well, he had got his wish. Your thighs were shaking around his head, as your body tried to come to terms with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body. Looking down, you saw him with his painfully hard cock, grinding down on the sheet, as he let out a moan at the relief the bedsheets gave him. Raising an eyebrow, you patted your thigh, signaling him to come over to you. "You loved on me so well bubs. But I can see how hard you are. Do you want to use me to get off?" You asked, watching the effect you had on him. All he could do was nod, as you sat up on your knees. "Stand up" you ordered, getting up from the bed as well.

You walked over to the wall, letting your body rest against it. Somewhat confused, Lewis followed you, standing in the space between your legs. "I tried to get off using your thighs didn't I? I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. So use me. Use my thigh. Get off" looking at you in pure shock, your boyfriend moved forward, groaning when you pushed your leg against his throbbing cock. He relished in the friction, slowly beginning to move against your leg, moaning when he began to rub against your leg. He began to hump your leg faster, as the pleasure began to build up in his body, before you reached your hand down to cup his length in your hands, moaning when you realized your fingers didn't quite meet. You ran your fingers along his length. You pumped him, letting your thumb circle his sensitive tip, eliciting a soft whine from him. You circled faster, moving down to your knees, and letting your tongue run up his shaft very softly. Above you, Lewis slammed his hands against the wall, groaning when you took him into your mouth.

But a part of him still wanted to cum inside when he was fucking you (in a condom, because wrap it before you tap it) so he pulled you back up, smirking when you whined. "I know baby, but I just really wanna fuck you now. Back on the bed please, unless you want me to take you here against this wall" practically running, you clambered onto the bed. You watched as Lewis pulled out a condom, ripping the packet open before climbing back on top of you. He let his hand rest on your hip, eyes temporarily losing some of the animalistic need that had been present in them. Leaning down, he connected your lips together in a kiss, a searing, intense kiss that took your breath away. "Ready love?" He asked, looking into your eyes, looking to see if there was even a slight hint that you didn't want this. But you did.

With a sudden jolt, he thrust himself into you, groaning when your warm walls clamped down on him. His hips thrust into you, starting off slow, letting you adjust to his massive length. "My sweet baby,taking me so well. Does it feel good?" You couldn't even respond, mouth agape, as his the pace of his thrusts increased. "Answer me" he said, suddenly stopping. Almost crying out at the loss of pleasure, you looked at him with desperation. "Yes yes, fuck it feels so good, please don't stop!" "Thats all you had to say baby" he said, before pushing in again, slowly. Then, he pulled back out. Looking at him in confusion, you gasped when he slammed back into you, a high pitched moan of "Lewis!" leaving your lips. He moved so that he had a better hold of your hips, rocking the both of you back and forth, the intensity of his thrusts was so much that the bed knocked back against the wall. What he wasn't expecting was for you to take his left thumb up to your mouth, running your tongue over it before sucking on it.

Moaning, he started thrusting into you even harder, shifting so that he was directly hitting your g spot. "Oh, God ! Oh fuck, Baby that feels so good please keep going keep-oh!" The cry that left your lips was so loud, you were sure Perrie in the room next to yours had heard you. "Fuck baby, you take me so well" Lewis said, as he nearly hammered your g spot. He was so, so damn close to cumming, and when you leant up and bit a sensitive spot on his neck, he came, gushing into the guard between you two, but he wanted you to cum to, so he reached down to pinch and rub your clit, still riding out his orgasm in you, moaning when you came with a scream. He winced when your core spasmed on his sensitive cock, and he pulled out slowly, before collapsing next to you. Panting, you curled up to him, letting your hand rest on his compass tattoo. "Okay that was Godlike" you said, earning a tired laugh from your lover.

"Yeah it really was. I missed you" he said, allowing you to nuzzle into his neck, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "I missed you too" you replied, kissing the tattoo. "I love you too" As you lay there together, still revelling in the moment, your phone buzzed. Reaching over to check it, you saw your groupchat with the girls flooding with messages.

-*-*-

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Y/N, I'm filing a noise complaint. 🍆

Jade ✨ - Pez 😂 let them be. It's been a while for her.

Leigh 🦋- She really got some tonight huh? 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️- LOL she did !! And it was obviously some goooood 'some' *wink wink*

Jade ✨- I could hear em too, and Im on the other end of the hall.

Leigh 🦋 - I know I did too! Must be some damn good sex. 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Go Y/N !!

Jade ✨ - Can't wait till she reads this.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Are they still going?!

Leigh 🦋 - No 😂 she's reading the messages. Y/N!! Yoohoo!

You - yes I'm here 🖕🏽

Jade ✨ - Did you have fun babe 😏

You - ..... yes

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - babe you can't really say no because we heard you

You- Im not saying I didn't have fun. But you guys need to calm down.

Leigh 🦋 - But its funnn

You - okay byeeee ❤

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Going for a round 2 😏?

You - okay I said bye.

Leigh 🦋 - she is !!

Jade ✨ - Go babe !

You - I need to leave this group.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - No we love you !! ❤

Leigh 🦋 - Yeah don't leave us ❤

Jade ✨- Don't leave meee ! ❤

You - Haha I'd never leave you girls ❤ now bye.

Jade ✨ - bye babe !

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - bye you sexy minx 😏

Leigh - bye hun 💙

*-*-*

Smiling to yourself, you put your phone away, to see Lewis looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Who was it?" "Just the girls" you said, cuddling back up to him. "What did they say?" Giggling, you looked up to him and kissed his neck. "They said they're going to file a noise complaint. And they asked me if we were going for a round two" "Were we really that loud?" He asked, looking at you in surprise. "Yeah, even Leigh heard us and she's at the end of the hall!" "Damn" Lewis said laughing. "Well," he said, looking at you again, with a cheeky look in his eye, "they were right about one thing" "And what is that?" You asked, smiling at him mischievously. "We are going for a round two"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@maxverstappenx @grandestrategia (because you are worth it 🦋💙)

[theabyssorder]

hi!! I love your writing sm <3 could I request bennett, childe, xiao, and diluc with a regenerating /immortal s/o? like if they get wounded, they can feel the pain but it heals very quickly. and they are sort of reckless in battle bc of it? it's ok if you aren't comfy with writing it!

Childe, Xiao, and Diluc with an regenerating / immortal s/o

Characters - Childe, Xiao, Diluc, and Bennett

Possible TW - Mentions of gore and injuries

a/n - First request aaaa!!! I just.skdjfjdskf! I also actually really vibe with this hc!

no proof reading we die like rex lapis

Childe

Now Childe feels conflicted, because of his desire of self-improvement

He wants to battle you a lot more, but its you aka someone he cares about

Imagine more spars, but he won't try to make you lose a limb or do major damage.

Childe cares about you and he doesn't want to test that limit of how fast can you regenerate and how far does it go

Honestly, while he is very very jealous of your ability, he also lectures you many times for rushing in.

In fact, he might force you to do some more training with dodging and being more aware of your surroundings!

Whenever an opponent or person does see you regenerate parts of your body, he will cheer you on.

"YEAH THATS MY BADASS S/O"

He's probably talked to Zhongli about you, in hopes that he can explain your ability.

10/10 supportive man

Xiao

Xiao is proud of you for having such an ability, but it won't change his view on you

The first time he realized you could do that, he called you weird

Just because you can regenerate your limbs and skin, doesn't mean you can't be caught in a vulnerable moment.

He doesn't mind wiping out hilichurl camps with you or sparring with you

But the second you get a little cut or he sees blood, he's rushing over anyway

He knows you can regenerate your limbs, but he doesn't want you to rely on your abilities.

He understands the feeling of pain, but there's no physical wound.

Maybe you can listen to him play something on his flute?

totally not inspired by a certain bard

You're still just a human, right?

Your powers make Xiao feel comforted that you can protect yourself

But he worries about the day they will be tested to their limits

Please stop rushing out into battle, he's going to die from a heart attack

Xiao is keeping an eye on you 24/7

10/10 will give Xiao gray hairs

Diluc

Diluc is shocked that you can do that

He's very curious on how you got such a strange ability

He might follow you around a little bit or ask around in the tavern to find out more

Is it based on your vision? Are you human?

He obsesses over it a little, and Kaeya does bully him

Before you got into a relationship, he did have a little theory board on you

Your first meeting with Diluc might actually be a meeting with the dark knight

He doesn't want someone with this type of power on the wrong side

Once he realized you were just a normal person who regenerates quickly, he feels embarrassed

You never knew he was very worried for Monstadt and your intentions until Kaeya snitched

He swore he burnt that theory board

Diluc feels comforted that you can protect yourself, but you must stop rushing in.

Yes you regenerate from you wounds, but you feel the pain

Diluc doesn't want his s/o in pain

Pain and s/o shouldn't be in the same sentence!

10/10 almost became a crazy theorist

Bennet

Bennet is very surprised and he is adding this ability to the top ten cool things about s/o!

However, it does make him feel a little useless :(

Bennett's best ability is his healing! He can't do much if you're doing the healing

He tries to help you in different ways on your adventures

Like making food, bringing water, and making sure you brought all your equipment

Benny doesn't want to leave your team!

Please reassure this insecure boy to keep joining you on your adventures.

Bennett gets worried about you enough because of his bad luck

When he sees you rush in, he feels like he just got hit by a hilichurl head on!

Your adventures get messy, but Bennett is glad that you have a lower chance of getting hurt

Once he's reassured, he does his best to make sure you're not in a lot of pain

It may be gone, but it might still hurt! :((

Bennett looks up to you way more now, and he might even ask how you got such an ability

Can he learn this?

Bennett wants to learn how to do it as well

If he learned how to heal all his wounds quickly that would be amazing!

Please hype this boy up, he doesn't need to learn anything.

10/10 Biggest fanboy

[flame-cat]

so during my initial liveblog of ofmd i did some rambling, and i think i should post some. starting with the scene where stede first wakes up after ed saves him:

i still find it so funny how ed immediately has it down bad for this. french toast strip of a man

ok i rewatched the Scene and im

god

when stede wakes up, see this... guy? this big burly leather-clad Guy? with this. big soft eyes and this messy salt-and-pepper hair. and hes like. what the fuck happened, and ed starts explaining and stede Remembers (this same dude was the one who had Heard Of Him, who came and rescued him from the brink of death, was the first and last thing he saw just now) and immediately tries to get up because even though the last thing he remembers of his crew is being told hes the worst pirate ever and conceding that he deserves that, he still cares about them and wants them to be ok, so he tries to get up and nOPE STILL STABBED OW but this Guy just. gently. very gently pushes him down. very softly shushes him, tells him he needs to rest. and ed his like, feeling ways about this already, because wow he really is different, and the next words out of stede's mouth are "do you work for blackbeard?" and ed's whole FUCKING WORLD gets flipped on its axis because he expected to hear are you blackbeard but in stede's mind theres no way this puppy-eyed soft man sitting on his bedside and touching him so gently could POSSIBLY be blackbeard, so maybe he just works for him, and meanwhile ed's having a whole fucking Moment over here like. yeah. he does in a way work for blackbeard, because blackbeard isnt him is it? so he says yes, and introduces himself for the first time in so long as. just ed. and they shake hands

and thats how it starts, of course it is, because in order for this to ever have happened theyd have had to know each other as stede and ed first

the way that ed at first is obviously head-over-heels already for stede, right, because YOU DONT CHASE A PERSON ACROSS THE OCEAN AND SAVE THEIR LIFE when youre NOT feeling a Way about them. and the best part is? ed knows NOTHING about stede. he just knows hes clever, and silly, and trying to be a pirate, and very very lucky to be alive. and ed is. FASCINATED. hes bemused, hes EXCITED and INTRIGUED for the first time in so long. and then he Meets him (sort of) and he of course makes sure hes ok, sits vigil at his bedside. just looking at him. listening to him mumble about mary (whos mary? who the fuck is mary????) and being so gentle with him even though he doesnt even FUCKING know him yet? but he looks at his ship and his crew and his little model ship that mary hated so much and he ADORES IT. all of it. all the parts of stede people either hate or mock or overlook, ed loves it. is so enamoured by this Guy. and to top it all off, the first thing stede says to him is to ask if he WORKS FOR blackbeard. not if he IS blackbeard, if he WORKS FOR HIM. and ed is like. yeah. blackbeard isnt really me, is he?

i love how its framed too. in the narrative at first youre like, lead to believe blackbeard wants to kill stede, and then you meet him in episode 4 and ed is just. a total fucking goofball? and he was OBVIOUSLY chasing stede because he just GENUINELY wanted to meet this guy. even after "suck eggs in hell" ed is just. SO INSANE over this dude. like oh my god

the way you look at these two characters and ur first thought is that stede would pine after ed when its THE OPPOSITE is so funny and so so good

ed is pining after stede before even MEETING HIM and meanwhile stede doesnt even realize hes actually in love with ed untilSO MUCH LATER

in conclusion ed is morosexual