#the almighty subtext

[heycarrots]

There’s been a lot of discourse about the nature of James and Miranda’s relationship. There’s even been a lot of discussion on my podcast about it. One thing I want to make clear is that my podcast is a platform for discussion on all points of view. I’m not going to agree, 100%, with everything that’s said, but it makes the views of my guests no less valid. There’s no right or wrong, here, because this is art and therefore, it is subject to interpretation.

My intent, however, is to attempt to get as close to the original intent of the actors as possible because we look at a show or a film or a play as going through several layers of distillation. Each level purifies the intended narrative leaving its truest essence.

When we make a reduction sauce using an alcohol of some kind, let’s say a red wine, the heat applied to it burns off things we don’t need for flavor. You’re never going to get drunk off of red wine reduction because there’s almost no alcohol left in it. That all gets burned off, leaving only the flavor components, which is what we wanted all along, anyway. We want that extra element that enriches the flavor of the steak, by adding nuance.

So let’s take apart that meal.

We start with the birth of the idea. The story kicks around in an author’s head, trying to get out, growing bigger and more persistent until it outgrows the confines of the mental box inspiration is stored in and has to be let out. That idea, that’s the cow.

The author raises that idea, feeds it, watches it grow, and then, ultimately slaughters it. That sounds awful, but once you have that idea pulsing, growing, evolving and then finally commit the final draft on paper, it is a kind of death. The life of the story comes to an end and it becomes memorialized in a mausoleum. Readers will come to visit, spend time with it, lay down flowers, cherish it, and mourn its passing.

The next level is adaptation. That’s the steak. There are many ways you can slice the story, large roasts encompassing the whole story or a smaller, hyper-focused character study fillet mignon.

A writers room gets hold of the cow and carves it up. They choose what gets cooked and what gets tossed. A GREAT group of writers saves the bones. They take in the entire supporting structure of the piece and while the whole story may not make it onto the screen, they will have slow roasted the bones for a stock. When you watch a show like Black Sails, where themes are introduced that won’t fully be explained or explored until several seasons later, that’s what that is. It is the stock being used to flavor the whole dish. You’ve distilled the entire cow to its purest essence and so every scene, every line of dialogue, every acting choice, encompasses the entirety of the story. A line from episode one is defined by knowledge of the finale and in regard to dialogue, defined by an actors’ knowledge of a character’s backstory. There are many writers rooms who are creating the bones of the story as they go, which means they aren’t starting with a rich stock. You can’t trace back character motivations or choices to begin with because those motivations changed throughout production.

Black Sails, again, isn’t one of those shows. Steinberg and Levine came into the writers room with their stock pot full and sloshing, spilling story everywhere. The richness of the details they were laying can make season one a bit hard to consume unless you are ready for a story on that level. Viewers need to come to the table with some bread to sop up all those character details because we WILL need them later.

Over the course of finalizing scripts and blocking out episodes, the steak is cooked. Like any great steak, this story is medium rare. More juice comes out with every bite. It’s what makes the show infinitely rewatchable. It continues to cook on the plate, but because it wasn’t overdone, it never dries out.

When the actors get ahold of it, that’s the reduction sauce we were talking about. That sauce provides nuance and flavor. That’s the emotion. A line of dialogue on a page is just ink. It’s nothing until it’s spoken aloud. And like any bit of language in this world, it’s subject to interpretation. In this case, it’s the actor who does the interpreting.

I spoke on the podcast about the art of subtext and how huge a role it plays in Black Sails. One example we used is Jane Eyre. It’s one of the most frequently adapted novels in the English language and with each adaptation, we get a new version of our characters. The most volatile and subject to change is Rochester. There are MANY versions of Rochester that I find appalling (including the original beast in the book), but each actor has formed him into something else, based on their performance. Toby Stephens takes Rochester and turns him into a silly tragic romantic, broken many times over by a society he never really fits into, despite the status of his birth. He connects with Ruth Wilson’s Jane because she fully and happily inhabits that space on the fringes that Rochester thinks he needs to climb out of. Jane takes his hand on the outside of the wall, turns him away from the guarded palace and shows him the wild world that was at his back this whole time.

This is what Toby Stephens, Luke Arnold, Louise Barnes, Zethu Dlomo, and really all the actors for whom their subtextual choices make them reflect like prisms, have done with their performances.

In the final distillation, character motivations and emotions are finalized by the actor. Writers can pontificate, the source material lies dead in its lovely tomb, but stories live and breathe by their storytellers.

What we’re left with is Toby’s face telling the world how deeply Flint loves Silver. Every single choice tells this story.

We’re left with Luke showing us how much Silver is repressing in his feelings for Flint. Luke’s face shows us an incredible depth of feeling and a door slamming shut.

We’re left with the incredible intimacy between James and Miranda, which speaks of a decade of shared physical intimacy. There’s an openness, a freeness to it until the moment in episode 3 when Miranda learns that James has found the Urca and is leaving soon to pursue it. She gives some of it away when she says “I thought I’d have you all to myself”. She is mourning the loss of intimacy that she only gets in short windows of time. They aren’t strained because James isn’t attracted to her, but because he’s rarely there. She has him for a few days at a time before he’s off on another hunt. The coldness starts from the moment he tells her he’s leaving in a few days because I believe she thinks he won’t be coming back, that this is the hunt he won’t survive and she’ll finally have lost both James and Thomas. From the moment Richard Guthrie darkens her door, she’s looking for a way to weaponize him and get them out. For her, it’s a race against the clock and she’s willing to sacrifice a bit of her relationship with James in the present to secure happiness for them in the future.

This is also why James still has sex with her before leaving, even though he’s furious for her reading Meditations to Richard. This is how they connect. They connected through physical intimacy in the flashbacks, as well. Him stroking her thumb in the carriage before the kiss. Tactile contact to seal their understanding of each other. Miranda bracing her hands on his chest during important moments in the Hamilton’s home, something she also does to Thomas, to show physical connection, physical intimacy. Miranda thrives on physical touch.

To think that, for 10 years, James is lying there like an object for Miranda to use, is, to me, short sighted. To think that James doesn’t love Miranda outside of a group, is also ignoring the fact that, 10 years on, James will not leave on a hunt (angry as they both are) without physically connecting with her, trying so hard to reach beyond his anger and the wound freshly opened from sight of that book he’s chosen not to look at for probably the better part of those 10 years. The way his hands hover over her back after she comes and he desperately wants to be with her in that moment, like the best of their moments, but he just can’t, speaks to the depth of his love for her.

So many fans of the show point to this sad sex scene as one of the most important character moments for James and Miranda, but I consistently come to the opposite conclusions about WHY it’s important and what we learn from it, because I’m taking my cues from the actor’s choices, not the director or the writers. On the page, in plain ink, he hates having sex with her. Toby and Louise show us, however, that they are trying to recapture a thing that is fleeting, reaching out to each other to patch up an old wound from which the scab has been picked off, leaving it seeping and raw.

From Toby’s performance, regardless of the words he uses years later to describe it, we see not a character who “loves men” or a character who “loves women”, but a character who LOVES. I don’t see Flint defining that love in terms of boxes and parameters. He’s a character who must be coaxed out, but then loves without reason, without a safety net, as he proves with his love of Silver. As was also referenced by a guest on the podcast, he places a sword in Silver’s hand and says “do it”.

Anyway, this post got away from me and took several turns, but the love between James and Miranda being dismissed by so many in the fandom has been bugging me for a while and I just needed to emotionally vomit on tumblr.

[phynoma]

HOLY SHIT THE SONG AT THE END OF RE: DRACULA?!?!

The sound I made at the first double entendre holy mother of god

Jesus

I need to go lie down 😭 I cannot BELIEVE they did that (I can) (I am delighted) (holy actual fuck 🤣)

[aziraphales-library]

hello lovely people!

i was wondering if there were any historical fics that specifically look at queer history? it could be just aziraphale or just crowley, them together or not together. it could be as far back as sappho and as recent as legalisation of gay marriage.

thank you!

Hi! We have #queer history, #pride parade, and #queer guardian angel aziraphale tags on which you will find fics of interest. Here are more to add to the queer history collection...

An Angel and a Demon Walk Into a Bar- and there is No Punchline Because this is the 80s and Everyone is Sad, Gay and Repressed by DontOffendTheBees (M)

“So you’re not here to dance.” Crowley ducks his head, his long and impressively voluminous hair tumbling about his face as he nudges his aviators down his nose, peering at Aziraphale with those cunning yellow eyes over the top of them. He smirks like the wily old serpent he is, savouring the next words he speaks. “Now, what else could possibly lure a confirmed bachelor such as yourself to an establishment like this?” In which Aziraphale gravitates to the comfort of a queer space, and winds up in need of further comforting.

and at least in this lifetime (we're sticking together) by vivelegalite (T)

[GOD, NARRATING] People tend to be torn as to which side could be credited with legalisation of gay marriage across all of the United States of America. Most people consider it an act of Good, which it is of course, and attribute it to Heaven. Some, a much less pleasant lot, argue it to be the work of Hell. They tend to back their claims up with improperly translated lines from a book the Almighty had never actually written or even really bothered to read through — I tend to outsource that kind of work — and speak of God’s will and whatnot. Both groups are, however, mistaken. The legalisation of gay marriage across all of the United States of America was brought about not by Heaven, not by Hell, but by a tragically smitten demon with a rather high alcohol concentration and a plan.

Eziraphael's Gifts: A History of Queer Faith and Longing, by Natasha Marie Johnson (Beacon Press, 2019). by actualbat (G)

"If Eziraphael has come to be known--in today's language--as the 'guardian angel of sad queers,' then it makes sense for him to have shown up more regularly in the past once that became a recognizable historical category." Natasha is really glad that she's given this talk enough times to be able to do it on autopilot, because those two funny-looking men in the back just made the most absurdly astonished faces. (Or: Not all historians ignore gay subtext, and not all immortal celestial beings have their shit together. Also, voodoo.)

it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it) by bibliocratic (T)

It's like having a curtain pulled back on something he wasn't expecting to see. A surprise punch-and-judy at an up-scale restaurant, a lobster thermidor when he's ordered an ale. Crowley's gleefully trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aziraphale is speaking Polari. Because of course he is. Or: The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho.

Under the Blazing Sun, Thy Footsteps Track by Elfgrandfather (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley keep finding themselves mixed up with a rather queer lot, and eventually have to contend with what it might mean, both about their own identities and their relationship to each other.

Surpassing All the Stars by KannaOphelia (M)

There was a faint tracing of scales along the woman's cheekbones, tracing down her thin arms and lean thighs. The nipples on her pale, almost flat breasts were dark as night. Fiery red curls fell over dagger-sharp shoulders sprayed gently with more black scales, and the golden eyes were wide and snake-like. The woman was beautiful, but hardly human. "Crawly," the woman said with disgust. "Was that the best you could do, angel?" "I said I didn't have much imagination." Aziraphale's lips were heavy, and she was almost sure she wasn't forming the words properly. There was some kind of spell over her, holding her almost immobile. The venom must have been paralytic. If she had been human, she supposed she would have been dead. Her corporation didn't like it much either. "What name would you prefer I use for you?" The stranger tipped her head on one side, considering. "Crowley?" Aziraphale almost laughed. The whole situation was simply too irritating. If she was to die now, at the hands of some local deity, the paperwork hardly bore thinking about. And her precious work on Sappho's poetry, gone. "Crowley, then. You're a nymph of some kind, I take it?"

- Mod D

[etoilesombre]

Hey, do you guys want to hear a story? Let me tell you about the romance between Lancelot and Guinevere, as recounted in Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur.

So, I thought I knew the basics. I grew up reading modern versions of Arthurian legend that focused on other aspects, but had a general knowledge of the Arthur-Guinever-Lancelot love triangle. It didn't show up too much, but I assumed it was subtext in some other versions. What I picked up was that it was sort of pure, almost an ot3, and not the cause of a lot of problems. 

My friends. In this version it is NOT SUBTEXT, it DEFINITELY CAUSED PROBLEMS, and it is WILD. It is a true will-they-won't-they drama fest soap opera romance, and I need to share. So please, come on this journey with me.

[I’m looking at you, Black Sails fandom people. I need you to know that Flint canonically would have read this. He would almost certainly have also grown up hearing these stories. I’m not saying he’s Lancelot coded, but I am saying it's interesting that he would have been aware that was something it was possible to be.]

A couple notes, before we dive in. I am very much just summarizing what happened in the book. The thing is, the book is a million pages long and also in Middle English, and this is just one of many plots, which I think is why it's not more widely known. I will show some excerpts so you can get a feel for the text, but you don’t need to read them to understand the story. I'm referring to a version that is as close to the manuscript as I can find, though with spelling regularized. For real fun, see what the original looked like. Malory purports to be translating part of the French Vulgate cycle, which likely is where the character of Lancelot originates, but in fact he is doing much more than translating, and compiles other stories as well. Point being, when he says “so the French book sayeth” etc, that is the “book” to which he is referring. Because of my lack of knowledge about the language and cultural context, this lecture series from Mythgard Academy was absolutely invaluable to my understanding. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Inevitably, some of the opinions of the prof are reflected here. I do not have it in me to compare the scholarship of various medievalists right now, I just want to tell you about this DRAMA. 

Let’s start with a prophecy. When Arthur decides he wishes to marry Guinevere, Merlin advises him to take someone else, because if he takes her, she will betray him with Lancelot and it will destroy his kingdom. All of this is foretold, not only to us, but to Arthur himself. Of course he takes her anyway, and all is doomed from the start.

As we begin the main arc of this story (several books after the prophecy), Lancelot is widely acknowledged to be the best and most renowned knight of Arthur’s court. He is plainly and hopelessly in love with Guinevere, and she loves him in return. Arthur doesn’t have a problem with this - who wouldn’t love Guinevere? This sort of love is socially acceptable, so long as they do not sleep together, which would be treason. Arthur in fact seems to support their love, because it means that Lancelot will be Guinevere’s champion should she need one. This is a role Arthur himself legally cannot fill because he is the king, and so would have to be the judge. Lancelot is indeed a good champion for her, and fights for her when she is wrongly accused of murder. 

Lancelot is deeply chivalrous, in a way that seems sincere. This is a great place for a first excerpt, a conversation with a Random Damsel Lancelot has been helping:

‘Now, damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘will ye any more service of me?’ ‘Nay, sir,’ she said, ‘at this time, but almighty Jesu preserve you wheresoever ye ride or go, for the most courteous knight thou art and meekest unto all ladies and gentlewomen that now liveth. But one thing, sir knight, me thinks ye lack, ye that are a knight wifeless, that ye will not love some maiden or gentlewoman. For I could never hear say that ever ye loved any of no manner of degree, and that is great pity. But it is noised that ye love Queen Guenivere, and that she hath ordained by enchantment that ye shall never love no other but her, nor no other damosel nor lady shall rejoice you; wherefore there be many in this land of high estate and low that make great sorrow.’ ‘Fair damosel,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘I may not warn* people to speak of me what it pleaseth them; but for to be a wedded man, I think it not; for then I must couch with her, and leave arms and tournaments, battles and adventures. And as for to say to take my pleasance with paramours, that will I refuse, in principal for dread of God. For knights that be adventurous should not be adulterers nor lecherous, for then they be not happy nor fortunate unto the wars; for either they shall be overcome with a simpler knight than they be themselves, or else they shall slay by unhap and their cursedness better men than they be themselves. And so who that useth paramours shall be unhappy, and all thing unhappy that is about them.’ 

So after doing his Knightly Deeds for this damsel, Lancelot asks if she needs anything else. She says no, but you are lacking one thing, which is the love of a woman. It is rumored that is because Guinevere has through sorcery made you love only her, and that causes all of the women great sorrow. In reply Lancelot makes this speech about how he cannot have a wife or paramour and be a good knight, but everyone thinks it is at least in part because his love is reserved for Guinevere.

Now, throughout the book his chastity DOES notably cause all of the women great sorrow. Everyone wants to sleep with Lancelot. Literally he is kidnapped by the four most beautiful queens other than Guinevere, and they say he has to choose one of them as a lover (not even a wife, a lover) or else die. He says he would rather die, though in the end he escapes. This is just an example, truly it is a recurring problem for him. He is, at one point, tricked into sleeping with a woman with whom he conceives his son Galahad (as was prophesied, it's a long story and the romance is only part of it. It is worth mentioning that something similar happens to Arthur, which is how Mordred is sired.) When Guinevere learns that Lancelot has been with someone else, she is angry and banishes him from the court. They still love each other and eventually reconcile. 

So, Lancelot goes on the quest for the holy grail. But he fails, specifically because while he is outwardly dedicated to God, in his private heart he is still dedicated to Guinevere. And so he makes a vow to renounce his love for her, acknowledging that it is beyond measure (beyond what is right, even if they have not technically done anything wrong.) However when he returns to Camelot, he cannot keep this vow, as we see. 

Then, as the book saith, Sir Lancelot began to resort unto Queen Guenivere again, and forgot the promise and the perfection that he made in the quest. For, as the book saith, had not Sir Lancelot been in his privy thoughts and in his mind so set inwardly to the Queen as he was in seeming outward to God, there had no knight passed him in the quest of the Sangrail, but ever his thoughts were privily on the Queen. And so they loved together more hotter than they did beforehand, and had many such privy draughts together that many in the court spoke of it, and in especial Sir Agravain, Sir Gawain’s brother, for he was ever open-mouthed. So it befell that Sir Lancelot had many resorts of ladies and damosels that daily resorted unto him to be their champion: in all such matters of right Sir Lancelot applied him daily to do for the pleasure of Our Lord Jesu Christ. And ever as much as he might he withdrew him from the company of Queen Guenivere for to eschew the slander and noise, wherefore the Queen waxed wroth with Sir Lancelot.

He and Guinevere start spending a lot of time alone together, and so there are rumors circulating about them in court. In order to put a stop to the rumors, Lancelot starts paying other women attention and doing more good knightly deeds for them. Guinevere is terribly jealous, but he tells her it's for their own good, and also tells her about the vow he made, and his concern that their love is beyond what is appropriate. She is devastated, and weeping banishes him from the court (again). 

Lancelot then rides in a tournament, disguised. (Why? Because this is simply a thing knights do.) To make it an effective disguise he takes the token of a woman, the sleeve of the fair maid of Astolat to wear on his helm. When she discovers that he was only using it for the disguise, and he does not indeed love her, she is so heartbroken that she says if he will not marry her or be her lover, she will die. He refuses, on the grounds that love must not be constrained and should arise from the heart, and offers her a thousand pounds a year instead if she marries anyone else. Properly insulted by this, she does indeed die. She has her body sent in a boat to Camelot, with a letter in her hand, saying that she died of her love for him, that he would not return. 

Seeing this, Guinevere reconciles with Lancelot, presumably reassured by the fact that he would let this very beautiful much younger woman die of her love rather than being with her. She insists that from now on he will not fight in disguise, and will openly bear her token. 

Then Queen Guenivere sent for Sir Lancelot, and said thus: ‘I warn you that ye ride no more in no jousts nor tournaments but that your kinsmen may know you; and at these jousts that shall be ye shall have of me a sleeve of gold. And I pray you for my sake to force* yourself there, that men may speak you worship. But I charge you as ye will have my love, that ye warn your kinsmen that ye will bear that day the sleeve of gold upon your helmet.’ ‘Madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘it shall be done.’ And either made great joy of other.

It is important to keep in mind that, to this point, there is no textual evidence that they were sleeping together, and a great deal of evidence that it was important to Lancelot that they not cross that line. There is much less evidence that this is important to Guinevere.

So then one fateful day in May, Guinevere goes picnicing with an entourage of knights. They are captured by someone else who is in love with Guinevere, and taken back to his castle, but she manages to send a message to Lancelot. At the castle, she insists that her knights sleep in her bedchamber on the grounds that they were wounded in the battle when she was captured and need tending, but truly she wants them there to keep her captor from raping her. 

Lancelot arrives to rescue her, and the person who kidnapped her agrees to give her back in the morning. She tells Lancelot to visit her room in the night. He climbs up to her window, which is barred. They have a heartfelt reunion and she says she wishes he could come in to her. He acquiesces and breaks the bars to get into her room, cutting his hand to the bone to do so. Despite the profusely bleeding wound and the ten other men sleeping in the room, they at last do sleep together, in this passionate blood covered consummation. He sneaks back out and replaces the bars.

In the morning, the man who kidnapped Guinevere comes in and sees blood all over the bed. He accuses her of being unfaithful to the king, saying she lay with one of the knights who had been sleeping in her room. She denies it, but it is very clear that she did sleep with someone who was bleeding. 

Lancelot says he will fight to defend her from this accusation, which is right and proper because he is her champion. In this story people take trial by combat and oaths before God very seriously, especially Lancelot. He really does try. So he swears an oath that he will prove with his life that Guinevere did not sleep with one of the wounded knights who lay in her room. This of course is TRUE, but only on a technicality. Lancelot, having slept with her himself the night before, is also the one who defends her honor after. I love this story so much. 

Instead of fighting him, the kidnapper takes Lancelot captive. In captivity he encounters ANOTHER damsel who insists that sleep with her in order for her to help him. He refuses, still faithful in his heart to Guinevere. Eventually she settles for him holding and kissing her, which is not across the line of appropriateness apparently, giving us some idea of where that line is drawn. Anyway, Lancelot gets out, fights for Guinevere and wins. There are indications that he feels like he barely dodged a devine bullet. 

Guinevere and Lancelot return to Camelot. Finally the rumors about them are true, the deed has been done, but of course nothing appears particularly different as there were already rumors about them. Two knights, Mordred and Agravaine, who have been intriguing against Arthur already, go and tell Arthur that Guinevere is being untrue to him. Here is his response: 

‘If it be so,’ said the King, ‘wit you well, he is none other; but I would be loath to begin such a thing but I might have proofs of it. For Sir Lancelot is a hardy knight, and all ye know that he is the best knight among us all; and but if he be taken with the deed he will fight with him that bringeth up the noise, and I know no knight that is able to match him. Therefore, and it be sooth as ye say, I would that he were taken with the deed.’ For as the French book saith, the King was full loath that such a noise should be upon Sir Lancelot and his queen. For the King had a deeming of it; but he would not hear thereof, for Sir Lancelot had done so much for him and for the Queen so many times that, wit you well, the King loved him passingly well.

Arthur says he will not hear of this without proof, because if Lancelot is accused and allowed to fight he would beat anyone. And, it is said that Arthur had some idea of the affair, but would not credit it because Lancelot had done so much for him and Guinevere, and he loved Lancelot greatly. 

So, one night when the king is away hunting, the two accusers contrive to catch them in the act, with a group of twelve armed knights. They do find Lancelot in Guinevere’s chamber, but the text is notably, pointedly vague about whether they are actually in bed. In any case, Lancelot asks for a trial. The knights say no, they have caught him and so may kill him. He is Lancelot, so he kills all of them instead, save one (Mordred) whom he leaves wounded. Lancelot flees, intending to return to rescue Guinevere and take her to his own castle to protect her from Arthur’s wrath. He maintains her innocence, and still intends that they will all reconcile.

Guinevere is to be burned at the stake (normal in this situation). Lancelot rescues her from the burning at the last moment, killing a number of knights of the round table. Arthur seems to blame the accusers more than Guinevere and Lancelot (for good reason; keep in mind that the romance is a subplot, there is a great deal of political intrigue going on.) Now a war will begin, whether anyone wants it or not, because of the people Lancelot killed. Lancelot takes Guinevere to his own castle. Battle lines are drawn, and Lancelot and Arthur confront each other in the fighting:

And ever was King Arthur about Sir Lancelot to have slain him, and ever Sir Lancelot suffered him and would not strike again. So Sir Bors encountered with King Arthur; and Sir Bors smote him, and so he alit and drew his sword and said to Sir Lancelot, ‘Sir, shall I make an end of this war?’—for he meant to have slain him. ‘Not so hardy,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘upon pain of thy head, that thou touch him no more! For I will never see that most noble king that made me knight neither slain nor shamed.’ And therewith Sir Lancelot alit off his horse and took up the King and horsed him again, and said thus: ‘My lord the king, for God’s love, stint this strife, for ye get here no worship and I would do my utterance. But always I forbear you, and ye nor none of yours forbear not me. And therefore, my lord, I pray you remember what I have done in many places, and now am I evil rewarded.’ So when King Arthur was on horseback he looked on Sir Lancelot; then the tears burst out of his eyes, thinking of the great courtesy that was in Sir Lancelot more than in any other man. And therewith the King rode his way and might no longer behold him, saying to himself, ‘Alas, alas, that yet this war began!’

So Arthur tries to slay Lancelot, but Lancelot, the better fighter, refuses to slay him and indeed when Arthur is unhorsed Lancelot forbids that he be slain, and gives him his own horse. Arthur weeps for the honor that is in Lancelot, and laments that the war began. 

The pope intervenes and tries to negotiate an end. Lancelot confirms that he is willing to return Guinevere to Arthur, and says he has always been willing to do this and will still defend her honor, but that he does not feel he can do so because Arthur has listened to liars and been misled, and he had more reason to take her away than the accusation of adultery - he does not trust she can be safe in that court, with things as they are. 

Eventually they do make a deal, with some assurances, and he surrenders Guinevere to the king. He kisses her openly, says that he will leave, but should she be in danger or ever again accused of being untrue, he will fight for her as he always has. He departs the court forever, to much great sorrow, and returns to his own lands. 

The war continues - eventually Mordred seizes the throne, Arthur kills him in battle but is mortally wounded himself and passes to Avalon. Following the king’s death, although her love would no longer be adulterous, Guinevere retires to a convent rather than reuniting with Lancelot. He seeks her out, and this is her reaction: 

Sir Lancelot was brought before her; then the Queen said to all those ladies, ‘Through this same man and me hath all this war been wrought, and the death of the most noblest knights of the world; for through our love that we have loved together is my most noble lord slain. Therefore, Sir Lancelot, wit thou well I am set in such a plight to get my soul health; and yet I trust through God’s grace and through His Passion of His wounds wide, that after my death I may have a sight of the blessed face of Christ Jesu, and at Doomsday to sit on His right side;* for as sinful as ever I was, now are saints in heaven. And therefore, Sir Lancelot, I require thee and beseech thee heartily, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, that thou never see me no more in the visage. And I command thee, on God’s behalf, that thou forsake my company; and to thy kingdom look thou turn again, and keep well thy realm from war and wrack. For as well as I have loved thee heretofore, my heart will not serve now to see thee, for through thee and me is the flower of kings and knights destroyed. And therefore go thou to thy realm, and there take ye a wife and live with her with joy and bliss. And I pray thee heartily to pray for me to the everlasting Lord that I may amend my misliving.’ ‘Now, my sweet madam,’ said Sir Lancelot, ‘would ye that I should turn again unto my country, and there to wed a lady? Nay, madam, wit you well, that shall I never do, for I shall never be so false unto you of that I have promised. But the self* destiny that ye have taken you to, I will take me to, for the pleasure of Jesu; and ever for you I cast me specially to pray.

Rather than rejoicing in Lancelot’s presence, Guinevere laments that their love brought about the downfall of the Arthurian court, and the deaths of the knights of the round table and King Arthur. She calls upon Lancelot, by all the love that was ever between them to leave her presence, telling him to marry someone else if he wishes and see her no more. Lancelot replies that he wants no one else, and that he will respect her wishes, but will also renounce the world and join a religious order. He asks Guinevere for a final parting kiss, which she denies him. 

When Guinevere lies dying of illness, Lancelot sets out to go to her, having had a vision. She knows of his coming, and prays to die before she sees him, because she cannot bear it. She dies a half hour before he arrives, leaving instruction that he is to tend to her body, and then lay it to rest beside that of her lord King Arthur. Lancelot does this with great sorrow, and after ceases to eat or drink, and within weeks is dead himself. 

And there you have it, the love affair that doomed Camelot.

HUGE DISCLAIMER: Any and all mistakes or misinterpretations are my own. This is what I gathered, but I am not a medievalist. I am barely an interested layperson. I’m just a random fic writer who got obsessed with research for a story, and had to share this tragic mess. 

[dragondroid]

Christianity is fascist. It didn't ally with fascism, it didn't become fascist, it always was fundamentally a fascist movement (Note that I'll be looking at specifically Evangelical Christianity as that's what I grew up in and am most familiar with; however, I'm interested to see how people raised in other Christian sects' experiences compare).

Specifically, if we look at Umberto Eco's excellent essay Ur-Fascism, which lays out a framework for understanding fascist principles, we see a lot of interesting parallels with Christian ideology and Biblical excerpts:

- Cult of Tradition: The Bible is explicitly stated to be all the wisdom that is needed (2 Timothy 3:15, Psalm 19:7) by mankind. In Eco's words, "There can be no advancement of learning [inside fascism]... The Truth has already been spelled out one and for all, and all we can do is continue to interpret its obscure message." Christian doctrine is heavily built upon interpretation and re-interpretation of the Bible; even Christians that try to be progressive focus on re-interpreting problematic passages or attempting to give them context, as opposed to acknowledging that modern knowledge and sensibilities have made those passages obsolete. Admitting that modern knowledge has surpassed that within the Bible casts doubt on its status as divine and "perfect," which leads us to...

Rejection of Modernity- The Bible very explicitly says that modern, human-found understanding is inferior to primordial, divine wisdom (Colossians 2:8). Christian rhetoric frequently emphasizes the unknowability of God, framing attempts to understand him and his creation as futile. Many Christian sects deliberately work to create a distinction between "worldly," or human, and "godly" things. Throughout Genesis, we see stories like Adam and Eve and the Tower of Babel, and in the New Testament we see frequent metaphors regarding sheep. The subtext is clear- Learning and building humanity up is folly, and the ideal state of humanity is that of placid, blissful ignorance.

Disagreement is Treason- Churches are not places of equal discourse. The reason so many schisms exist within Christianity is that disagreeing viewpoints are fundamentally not allowed; those with disagreeing viewpoints must be converted to the "right" path or condemned and suppressed. If someone makes a valid point that opposes yours, it's not cause to reconsider your own stance, it's demons trying to tempt you away from the Righteous Path.

Obsession with a plot- What else would you call demons? An invisible, pure-evil race of trickster demigods who pull the strings behind the scenes, and whose sole purpose is making bad things happen- demons could he anywhere, even in your own thoughts, trying to tempt you from righteousness.

Enemy is both strong and weak- This is rampant throughout Christian rhetoric. Demons are both powerful enough to orchestrate the suffering of the world, yet weak enough to be steamrolled by God on Judgement Day. Christians have almighty power on their side, yet somehow seem to always be persecuted (according to them, at least). The Secular World is out to get you, but they're not powerful enough to just get rid of churches.

-Life is Permanent Warfare and the need for a Final Battle- Christian rhetoric commonly focuses on life as a noble struggle against sin, temptation, and Satan, a neverending battle between God's followers and the machinations of demons, until eventually God swoops in and crushes Satan in Armageddon as foretold in the Book of Revelation. Metaphors like the "Armor of God" and children's songs like "The Lord's Army" are probably the two most blatant signifiers of this.

-Everyone is Educated to Be a Hero- I've talked about this at length before, but Christianity idolizes martyrdom, painting it as a valorous ideal. One common story for Evangelical children is about a child in a school shooting who is asked if she believes in Jesus, and when she says 'yes,' she's shot. We were meant to see the girl as brave and a role model to look up to; some of us even had to act out saying we believed in Jesus while an adult pretended to hold a gun to our heads. Death is seen as a goal, where you finally get to go to heaven and leave behind a rotten, painful Earth.

I'd also like to point out that most of these are found in all Christian sects I've been in- the specific examples I gave draw on my own experiences, but the fascistic aspects of Christianity are as widespread as they are insidious.

Ultimately, this is because Christianity serves the same purpose in its followers as fascism does; it takes a frightening, morally-grey, complex world and flattens it into a simple, black-and-white, easy-to-digest world of pure good and pure evil, where all of your problems can be blamed on one group, and all of the answers are already there in the hands of the leader. No building to new heights, no searching for answers to the world's mysteries.

Just a man reading a 2,000-year-old-book, forever.

[nottoxicfr]

I think one of the best experiences I had in writing fanfic was when I got very depressed and decided to write Genshin Impact fanfic (which required majorly obsessing over lore, distracting me).

I didn't publish a lot of it because I didn't think the gimmick would come across very well. It was Isekai fanfiction, which felt kind of lame (as a personal preference), but I had fun twisting the idea.

The framing device was that Yae Publishing House needed to expand its audience appeal to other nations. After all, someone from Mondstadt might not want to read Shogun Almighty: Reborn as Raiden With Unlimited Power. I enjoyed pretending that I was an author under strict orders from my editor to come up with ideas that would appeal to different national audiences!

That was all subtext for the author's notes though. I wrote things like, "While I was writing this story, a kind bard in Mondstadt took it upon himself to be my editor. I couldn't have finished this story without his help, so this chapter is dedicated to Venti!"

I was actually publishing the stories themselves, in the case of the A/N, it was called "Divine Knight: I Was Crushed To Death and Reborn an Aide of Barbatos!" which was about a woman who was killed by a wine barrel on the Ragnvindr Estate and reborn as (essentially) an angelic knight.

It wasn't popular, and I got comments like, "Erm, doesn't this person know Venti is Barbatos? It's the first story arc!" The author doesn't! They're being paid based on word count, with no travel reimbursement!! Why would they know the identities of the Archons??

...The gimmick didn't get across to the viewer very well. I ended up taking down the ones I published. Still, it was really fun to write! I still draft for them every few weeks.

I wanted to write down a couple of the ideas I had in case I never published more, just to record their existence. I tried to make them sound stereotypical in idea.

Divine Knight: I Was Crushed To Death and Reborn an Aide of Barbatos! A young woman is killed before her time and summoned into the divine domain of Barbatos to act as his servant in Mondstadt, though without any training in how. When a former servant reappears wielding dark power, time itself begins to unravel! When Lord Barbatos is sealed away, it falls to his new servant to restore order to the land in his place!

Turn-Around Villain! The Fatuus is Born a Tiger! A Fatui Scout is killed while investigating a mutated Geovishap, being reborn into the body of an Enlightened Beast at the start of the Archon War. The story follows his integration into a new life and the choice to either gather followers or try and escape the conflict of the Divine

The Wingless Tengu's Ascent Throughout Inazuma, Tengu are known as teachers and beacons of enlightened thought, symbolized by their flights far above the Mortal Plane. This story focuses on a Tengu born without wings and cast into the world during a period of conflict between two major clans of Inazuma.

History of the Duel: Bested Again and Again The fictionalized account of a Fonatianian lawyer who changes careers to become a sword duelist, only to find that the popularization of the pistol has caused the saber to be relegated as obsolete. Written early in Fontaine's storyline

Capricorn Madness is spreading through Fontaine's water, weakening even the Hydro Archon's power. Forced to hire outside help, Chief Justice Neuvillette pairs an eccentric doctor with a bloodthirsty troubleshooter to solve the mystery of the capricious tide.

Record of the Third Incarnation This story focuses on the life of a fictional Dendro Archon who lived before Kusanali, with all knowledge of her lost to time. Covering two decades, it uncovers what the Archon did in the short time she was given.

[doomedandstoned]

TEMPLE OF THE FUZZ WITCH Unleash Magnum Opus, ‘Apotheosis’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

We introduced you to TEMPLE OF THE FUZZ WITCH in our compilation Doomed & Stoned in Detroit and the band subsequently played Ohio Doomed & Stoned Festival in 2019.

Now past the pandemic years, the band's sound has matured and evolved to encompass frightening black metal textures, in addition to the stalwart doom sound they forged in the beginning. On their third LP 'Apotheosis' (2024), Temple of the Fuzz Witch execution is nothing short of tight, demonstrating an uncanny penchant for conjuring apocalyptic atmospheres. Every member of the team is on point and collaborate to create something dark and powerful.

While not pitched as a concept album, savvy listeners will pick up on the subtext of fallen angels, drawing from Biblical, Zoroastrian, mystical, and traditional lore to create a singular work of terror that could well be a sequel to Dante's Inferno.

Apotheosis is the process of becoming deity (an idea long held by Egyptian, Greek, Buddhist and Christian beliefs), so perhaps this album concerns the rise of those angels who fell like lightning to our planet after a failed coup against The Almighty in heaven. Now is their time to rise again and terrorize mankind, as foretold in St. John's Revelation, The Books of Enoch, Kabbalah, and Milton's Paradise Lost.

Joe Peet's blistering bass welcomes us to "A Call To Prey," with bravura drumming from Taylor Christian and Noah Bruner's grungy guitars following not far behind. We prey upon your fear sings frontman Noah with windswept ire. One could imagine hearing this voice echo in the dead of night over moonlit hills and forests.

"Wight" is a foreboding doomer with elements of black metal. Noah teeters between jaded vocals with menacing growls. Wight is a reference to a ghostly creature, and there's sinister, foggy element to the song, as evil spirits vow:

We’ll break you Damned You’ll never be free We’ll break you For all eternity

"Nephilim" made me recall how damningly heavy Temple of the Fuzz Witch was at Ohio Doomed and Stoned Fest. You can get a sense of it with a pair of good speakers, but seeing them live punches even harder. Vocals vary in character between forlorn cries, as depressed hushes declare, "You will see, I will feed." Fiery yells and guttural rumbling join ravaging drumwork and hailing tremeloes as the song progresses.

"Bow Down" lives in familiar stoner-doom territory, with southern sludge riffing suggesting a revelrous lot dedicated to the worship of their master. Here the singing here is clear, clean, and resonant, intersected by harsh vocals that shout defiantly: Bow down and worship the sky, we pass beyond the glowing light.

"Sanguine" has become one of my favorite words, lately, though I've struggled for an appropriate reason to include it in my writing. It basically means making the best of a bad situation, remaining confident despite the odds, optimistic even when faced with nihilistic uncertainty. Lyrics allude to "Yahweh's condemned," "diabolic souls" who were "cast into swine" by God's Son, and now look to overtake Earth when Satan is loosed from the Bottomless Pit. Bittersweet riffs and damning low end remind me of Purple Hill Witch, and there are some badass chord progressions here. This one has been lingering in my head for days.

"Cursed" gives us little clue as to who the Cursed are, other than they have "sought the watchers in the blacks" and that their "moment has now passed" and now "there's no return." The Watchers are most likely fallen angels from the Book of Enoch, the Nephilim referenced in the book of Genesis. Maybe the cursed ones were acolytes of the Nephilim, but we're given only scraps, hints, fragments to piece together the mystery.

"Raze" opens with muted drums and a swarm of distorted guitar noise that almost seems like a portent of the great horde, here to "end all humans." It takes the perspective of the Fallen, who are still loyal to Lucifer. I have carried his black mark, all the way from the very start.

Strumming arpeggios suggest the clock is ticking in "Apostate," one of my favorite tracks of the record for its sheer dread. Downtuned, dissonant guitar chords make the ire of Noah's roaring vocals all the more convincing, as four lines are repeated thrice:

Await the hallows Swallow the earth The apostates Filled with dread and woe

"Ashes" brings the album to a head with another highlight of the record, a slow headbanger if there ever was one. Vocals are terrifying, referencing "vows of the damned" and Ahriman the evil spirit of early Iranian religions -- the very embodiment of destruction.

It's good to see Ripple Music continue to expand its portfolio into doom territory. Look for Apotheosis by Temple of the Fuzz Witch, dropping this Friday, April 5th (get it here).. Stick it on a playlist with Electric Wizard, Saturnalia Temple, Cough, Coffins, and Moon Coven.

Give ear...

LISTEN: Temple of the Fuzz Witch - Apotheosis

SOME BUZZ

With riffs and lyrics as bleak and crushing as a Michigan winter, blackened doom outfit Temple of the Fuzz Witch brings a unique take on the doom genre, their unwaveringly nightmarish sonic processions being raised to another level with frontman Noah Bruner's jaw-dropping balance of crypt-worthy growls and astoundingly grunge-styled clean vocals. Never the darkness has felt so magnificent and compelling, and their aptly-titled third album "Apotheosis" has everything to put the mighty trio on every black and doom metal fan's radar for years to come.

Launched in 2017 with a 3-track EP, the Detroit three-piece has successively released two albums: "Temple of the Fuzz Witch" (2019) and "Red Tide" (2020). Temple of the Fuzz Witch is now set to unleash the beauty of its unique occult-driven nihilism with "Apotheosis". The album was recorded and mixed by Pete Grossman at Bricktop Recording, and mastered by Chris Fielding at Skyhammer Studio. Its artwork was created by Sarah Fazriah and Zoro (Mysteriousfour).

Apotheosis by Temple of the Fuzz Witch

About the album, the band says: “The lyrics and concept as an album are more overt and less cryptic than the previous Temple releases. Everything is bigger, heavier, and darker. Rather than making just another doom record, we wanted to do something that stepped outside of the box a little bit. Established fans will still find catchy riffs that are staples of doom but will be surprised with some new twists on the genre with the introduction of blackened vocals and some more up-tempo tracks.

Lyrically the album is deeply rooted in the esoteric and spiritual. We came at the album with a very introspective mindset, and each of us was able to add a little bit of our own soul to it. I think when people hear the lyrics and music together they'll find something fresh, but dark, to connect with.”

Follow The Band

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[trappedinthenarrative]

RIVERDALE GAY GENE & GENEALOGY

I've traced out the various gay genes of the main Riverdale characters (I only picked characters with significant family trees, hence no Kevin or Toni). There are between 2-4 distinct gay gene variants. I also note the correlations between the gay gene and violence. This chart is only accurate to the history of Riverdale as it exists post-Jughead paradox and pre-Comet. Also I didn't look up anything on like, a wiki, so please excuse any mistakes in generation orders. (Specifically in the Blossom tree, I couldn't remember exactly where Nana Rose and the Cooper split went so I just guessed based on when-ish they would have happened.) I don't mention it in the essay because it wasn't relevant, but I do think that Grandpappy Cooper took his wife's last name after the Blossom schism, which is why there's a Cooper ancestor that looks like Betty pre-schism. This essay hinges on the theory of the town of Riverdale being a sentient thing built upon genre fiction tropes, idealized Americana, and an almighty narrative that can influence the people living within it. The town rewards those who ;play their part and punishes those who stray. In regards to the gay gene, the town sees being gay as subversive and therefore responds with violence, but also uses these "misbehaving" characters to fulfill antagonistic roles within whatever story it happens to be telling. I don't go into it in the essay, but I don't think Kevin has the gay gene, I think he was simply cast by the town into the role of Gay Best Friend.

Essay in picture below:

Unlike in our world, for the sentient town of Riverdale and its denizens, homosexuality is an inherited trait. The above chart shows the family trees of five of the main characters (Jughead, Cheryl, Betty, Archie, and Veronica) and traces the "gay gene" through the generations. These trees are based on a post-Jughead paradox reality in which the Rivervale events about Poppy Blossom, Bitsy Jones, and to a lesser extent, Abigail Blossom, are canonical to the prime Riverdale universe (pre-Comet).

The most documented gene variant is the Blossom variant, first expressed in Abigail Blossom c. 1890's. Supernatural abilities may be a co-expressive trait to the Blossom variant. It seems to only express in the female twin, but clearly the male twin can carry and pass it on. When both twins are male, the gene seems to express itself with only violence, not homosexual behavior (see Blossom/Cooper split in gen 5 and in gen 2 with Clifford and his brother. Penelope Blossom's gay expression (repressed, primarily expressed in violence) is noted here as a separate gene, but as she is an adopted Blossom, it is possible her gay gene IS a Blossom variant because Riverdale (the town) cast her as a Blossom female child, therefore opening her to inherit the Blossom gay gene via adoption. This is only notable as Nana Rose is also a Blossom by marriage, but since she was the same generation as Poppy Blossom, the town did not need another female Blossom to cast as an antagonist.

The relationship between the gay gene and violence shows how the town, which idealizes a hetero-patriarchal hegemony, casts subversive (i.e. gay) denizens into antagonistic roles. Gay denizens who are able to still fit within the hegemony, be it by repression (Bitsy Jones), leaving Riverdale (Archie's Mom), or by becoming a non-threat (Gay Kevin, in his approved role as Gay Best Friend), are not given the violent/antagonistic treatment. Interestingly, the Jones variant, while starting with a non-violent expression in Bitsy Jones, expresses in Charles violently.

Charles is both a carrier of the gay gene (Jones var.) and the "Serial Killer" gene, which he inherited from Alice Cooper (nee Smith). Betty Cooper also inherited the SK genes from Alice, but has an inherited gay gene (Blossom var.) through her father Hal Cooper. So far, Betty's gay gene has not fully expressed beyond subtext and sexual curiosity with Agent Drake.

It is possible that only one of each variant can express within any given generation, which would explain why carriers like Jughead and Betty have not gone beyond subtext (since Charles and Cheryl express their respective variants). If this is true, there is no reason why Archie could not express his variant at anytime.

Veronica is the only main character with no traceable gay gene. I hypothesize that this is because the Lodge family has not been in Riverdale consistently enough to evolve a gay gene expression. Rather, as the "outsider" Veronica can be textually or subtextually gay without a gay gene. Since Archie's mom is the only expression of her variant, and that she only came out after leaving Riverdale for an extended period, it is possible her variant is not a gay gene but an "outsider" expression. This is supported by Archie's lack of textual expression, despite the above stated 'availability' of the gene. "Outsider" expressions are more akin to the LGBT people of our reality, which is to say, not a literal gene.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Agreed, we can expect major twists in s2! But imho IF they explore the Claudia/Louis incest angle (beyond vague subtext) it'll be on her side, not his. If they even hint Louis is "Into" Claudia they'd be opening an almighty can of worms. Her envy of Loustat's bond is open to interpretation I guess, though her "which one of you will fuck me" bit felt rhetorical to me, highlighting that no adult (besides a 'pervert) would want her, but in theory almost anything's possible AND subject to change!

I agree!

IF (big if) they go there it likely won’t be reciprocated by Louis - which might then lead to its own problems (?). But we’ll see ;))

[canary-prince]

Jay tell me more about Julian the Priest

Okay, so--

Like I said, Julian the Priest is one of like...SIX characters that are allegedly trapped in the 9 hour director's cut. In the late 2000s my dad found a YouTube channel that had a bunch of these characters' scenes illegally uploaded. The ones I've seen since the channel got banned (my dad ripped some of them onto DvDs cuz he figured that might happen) are the ones pertaining to Father Julian Rose, Mr. Clark, and Lily Black. (Not ALL their scenes, obviously, but, you know, some important ones).

As you can guess from the names, these character mostly deal with the COMPLETELY DELETED "New York" facet of the story, where one of the mob's American branches is facing hardship due to the chaos in Moscow. Julian is the only non-Moscow character that Katya interacts with AT ALL. They share several long distance phone calls in which he takes her confessions. He's an incredibly angry and hollowed out man, but he exhibits a lot of patience with her (there's some hints that he's her bastard father brother; if true, this confirms that her father did cheat on her mother).

He takes a lot of mobster confessions; it appears to be the bulk of his scenes, and forms the heart of his "Faith is a poison" speech. It goes on for over 8 minutes, but essentially boils down to this: Christian faith rots away at human morality by convincing them of two lies. One, that they are special and unique and therefore beloved by the Almighty God and Two, that to apologize and repent is to erase the harm you caused.

Multiple times he urges Katya to leave Goncharov and to "chase true happiness" (yes, this could contribute to the lesbian subtext, because Katya is looking at the bracelet she stole from Sofia as he says it) but never gets angry at her for failing to do so, which I cannot STRESS how odd that is for the character??? He yells at people a lot, even when hearing their confessions, he's a terrible priest.

His other main connection to the "Moscow" plot is via Icepick Joe: yeah, plot twist, Julian ratted on Joe's brother, and most likely did it on the Don's direct orders (the extent to which Julian works for these people is not spelled out super clearly but he obviously DOES). Icepick Joe does speak to Julian over the phone exactly once, and Julian rather harshly taunts him about his numerous failures. He again invokes God, calling Joe a "forsaken and broken thing".

His actor was Richard Talmei, and at the time of filming, he was 55 years old and had been acting for 36 years. Commercials, local live theater, radio dramas, and a few failed TV pilots. Goncharov was his first (and ultimately, only) film. He'd lived a REALLY hard life. A meth addiction, a childhood spent homeless in a dangerous part of Chicago, a serious eating disorder: if that sounds vaguely familiar, it might because you read his post-humously released memoir Dirty Mask, which directly inspired David Sedaris.

During the 1971 April reshoots, which were done to deal with the "missing footage" issue, he had a severe aneurysm on set and collapsed. He was dead before the ambulance arrived and I'm 99% sure that the reason his subplot was removed was because of how traumatic Richard's death was for the rest of the cast.

[ourlordapollo]

Me trying not to get yelled at for harassing this Dr's office bc they can't be bothered to sign a document properly: Please sign where indicated to help us fulfill Medicare guidelines that Medicare requires us to fulfill before Medicare will let us bill. This will help us stay in compliance with Medicare's requirements.

Subtext: Look buddy, I just work here. You can yell at me all you want but you can't stop the almighty hand on Medicare.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

FR AUTISM MOMENT

I imagine this occurred shortly after working with him briefly went welp I must simply watch every movie this man was in because he was nice to me autism let's GOOOOOO

Reading up the plot on wiki before watching to know all the story beats and scaries XD can't scare me I know what happens!! (gets scared anyways)

She def obsessed over just his acting a bit cause he's very good and brings vibes and she picks up on like just little body language things that just really make her insane lmao cause what does this mean for the character he's playing!! Going feral, reads up on what he says about the role to make sure she's not just putting things where there isn't because I imagine he tends to make his portrayal subtly complex even if he's playing an evil role and she gotta lie down at the subtext of actions ect. Has a collection of all the movies he's in lmao

SOMEONE HELP THIS BITCH SHE'S VIBRATING SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN TOUCH HER FOR FEAR OF HAVING MY HANDS DISAPPEAR ON CONTACT JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY.

[potetoenjoyer]

rereading the roselia manga to cope with bad gacha

[verobatto]

Unrequited Destiel...

The Legend of The Sun and The Moon

I just wanted to explain in a few words to those that are asking why Dean didn't reply to Cas or why is Jensen talking about angelical way to feel things.

I know they're a lot of post saying WE TOLD YOU THIS AND THAT, and is true. Because if you read my Destiel Chronicles from the beginning, you will see I ALWAYS CALLED THE UNREQUITED LOVE FROM CAS AND DEAN'S POV.

Some of you disbelieves this idea, but is the only way to intepretate why Destiel is the slowest slow burn ever.

No more intro, let's suffer together...

Season 4 and 5 JUST A FLIRTING GAME

Once Dean was pulled out from Hell, Castiel wanted to talk with him. He didn't wait a second. Things blew and it was messy, and even Bobby was scared that that thing would hurt his idjit. But it was just Cas, trying to speak with Dean, desperately trying to reach him in his true form. Why? Because he wanted to talk with him. He had to explain Dean's mission but also, he felt fascinated. And even more after their first meeting face to face when he was finally able to find a vessel.

And Dean just it took him just a little of his time to feel the same fascination. The almighty angel, that could see right through his soul.

But also the angel that said things like...

And we have the handprint too, such an intimate sign between these two.

Castiel showing him, honestly showing him with words and actions, his special interest on him:

"My superiors begun to question my sympathies. I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You."

How would Dean take this here? The poor guy just decided to check out the angel, and speechless as he was at that moment, couldn't reply to it. "Is he flirting with me? Does he know how gay this sounds?"

Then Cas rebel against Heaven for Dean. Dean pushed him, the whole he pushed Cas to help him. If you rewatch season 4 Dean is constantly asking Cas to help him. Because he already know Cas was different. Because he felt Cas was his friend, his ally, and something else it was growing up in his chest.

While Cas pushed him against the wall, cut his forearm and drew the sigil, Dean's face is full of awe. He can't believe this soldier powerful angel is doing this for him.

And then... "We're making it up as we go."

Gif credit @cyxnrose

The beginning of season 5 is a very busy Cas searching for God, but also, the flirtation begins. Dean is like a cute boy flirting with his crush. The second meaning jokes, trying to figure out if Cas catch it is hilarious. But he will understand 'Cas doesn't understand that reference.'

From Dean's POV in these two season, we coul under he thinks angels are junk less.

Season 6: The profound Bond and the Longing

The romantic feeling from both sides began to flow even more when Castiel goes into the black side, and the first Destiel break up appears infron of our eyes in the middle of a very romantic scenes.

Gif credit @starlightcastiel

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

The last gif is out of discussion, bot men looking at each other with sad eyes, longing and as if their conversation isn't over. Dean being disappointed at Cas and Cas trying to make him see his point. Everything he does, he does it for Dean.

And now we know why it is.

Season 7: Mourning Dean and the Jealousy

Even with Showrunner Sera Gamble trying to focus Dean's morning into a Wincest subtext, we had put king Ben Edlund came to the rescue in episode 7x09.

Putting things in order, we were faced with Dean's source of depression: Castiel's death.

So, after that, when Cas really comes back, the reunion is another romantic movie. The MEMORY LOST trope.

And then... Castiel's pseudo wife...

The trope is getting better with the spicy Jealousy in Dean's eyes.

Gif credit @impalaofgrace

So he can't completely enjoy Cas is back because:

1) He doesn't remember him: so, how can be mad or anything else if Cas doesn't remember any details of their break up?

2)The guy has a wife! Okay, so, he has a wife, he easily got a wife from... Nowhere?

And then Meg comes and he is Jealous all over again!

Dean is a really mess of feelings, but in the end, when Cas recalls everything, and when I say everything, i mean Dean, because the majority of his memories was him, Dean just pulls out from his car Castiel's bloody trenchcoat and gives it him back!

So, if there was any doubts about why was Dean mourning and depressed for, we have the confirmation!

Then, let's turn the page, because now is Cas the mess... Depressed and suffering, because he almost destroy heaven, but, do you know what cares the most to Cas and when he cheers up? Yes...

When Dean says... "I RATHER JAVE YOU, CURSED OR NOT" Castiel immediately changed his face, he smiles, and kept staring at Dean with heart eyes. He was happy because Dean was forgiving him. Because since he recovered his memories, the biggest cause of it was Dean's rejection. Dean not being able to forgive him. That was the main cause of his sadness. That's why he avoided reality, he didn't have a cause, because his cause was Dean and Dean was mad at him. But now? Cas is happy again. That's why he decides to come back to battle. "I'll go with you."

Season 8 Purgatory of love and Pining!Dean

Okay, is in this season, Carver era, when Dean's POV has a turning point about Castiel and his true feelings for him and is in this season, when Dean starts pining strongly for the angel, and feeling his love is unrequited.

The cause of it, is Purgatory. The Purity about Purgatory resided in the capacity of that place to resides in abolish every human necessity to let the mind to focused in what really matters. In this case for Dean was SURVIVE AND CAS.

So we can say that what remained pure in Dean's heart was TO FIND CASTIEL.

That's why he prayed to him every night, and that's why in the moment Cas CONFESS he ran away to protect him, something in Dean changes forever.

Gif credit @agusvedder

If you pay attention to Dean's face reaction here, is the expression of the man that realizes in that precisely moment his feelings for Castiel. Even Cas stares to a side, because there was Benny watching them, and the thing he was about to say it was too intimate. I did it to protect you.

Dean, the Big Protector, is being protected by Castiel. So, in Purgatory, Dean Winchester find out his not platonic love for his best friend.

Then we had the entire season with pining!Dean and deception.

Dean's mind invented one excuse for Castiel running away from him because thinking his best friend abbandoned him, was just too painful. He does this again when Cas pushed him inside the gate and he stays in Purgatory. Dean just rewrote in his mind the whole sequence. Imagining that Cas was defeated. But the reality was, Castiel wanted to stay. And when Cas reveals this truth to the hunter, Dean's face is a mix of deep sadness and deception. He felt really rejected by his friend. He felt his unrequited romantic love for him. But he will feel it more stronger in the crypt scene, with the brainwashing and how Castiel's love for Dean broke th connection. But he left. That was a real rejection the hunter barely could handled.

Season 9: Pinning!Castiel and Human!Cas

When Cas became Human, he has to face all the intensity of human's feelings. In this season, is time for our angel to realize his romantic love for the hunter.

Castiel will mirroring Dean's pining in season 8, and he will also feel rejected by him.

Just like Dean in season 8, Castiel will feel his romantic love is unrequited, after Dean kicked him out from the bunker, being this the parallel to the crypt scene.

But then Cain's mark comes, and everything gets worst.

Season 10: Castiel is Dean's Colette

The whole Cain's mark was the visual sign of the Destiel handprint (profound bond) attempt of break.

With Cain and Dean going through a perfect parallelism in which Crowley was placed in the friend's spot, Sam in the brother's spot and Castiel in Colette's spot. Blatant and canon exposure of what Cas means for Dean.

But now, is time for Dean, after came back for being a demon, to feel unrequited again. And this is a detail that could be not seen, but it caught my attention.

CASTIEL: At least temporarily. It’s a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. There’s a female outside in the car.

This is what Castiel says when he goes into Dean's room and after Dean praises him...

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

Dean had been with Crowley when he was a demon this whole time, so Cas was heartbroken. Even this season opens with a very depressed Castiel in the bed just let himself die because Dean was gone. So, that's why Cas says this.

So you went with Crowley, i have a female in my car. See? I don't need you.

He was Jealous, and now Dean gets Jealous, but he also gets the sensation again of his love for Castiel is unrequited.

The episode that followed this one, Dean goes into a blind date with random chick he took from a date app (very ooc, but he did it because he had his heart broken and because he thought CAS had cheated on him while he was gone as a demon.)

Season 11: Dean resist a forced bond with Amara because he's bonded with Castiel

Season 11 is a blatant exposure of Dean's feelings for Castiel. There a lot of hints throughout the season telling us Dean is in love, just like in season 9 there was hints of this with Castiel. (Again, mirroring each other).

Dean resisted Amara because of his love for Castiel. But Cas is oblivious about this.

When Castiel is possesed by Lucifer, Dean switch's into desperate mode. If he was worried about his attraction for Amara, now the only thing he cares was Castiel, exposing again WHO DEAN IS IN LOVE WITH.

But when Dean wanted to rescue Castiel, and Cas didn't want to come back to him, it hurt him worst. Again, just like in season 8, Dean can't handle Cas doesn't want to come back with him (first from Purgatory and now from being possesed). Again Dean feels rejected and unrequited. That's why when Cas is back and the end of the world is close... Dean says these words...

"You're our brother, Cas. I want you to know that."

And Cas' face...

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

That's a man with the heart broken, mostly because we know now he was in love with Dean CANON FACT! (sobbing louder).

Season 12 and the confusing I LOVE YOU

This season was full of married couple situations, but mostly, we had Castiel's I Love You in the barn, before "dying".

At first Dean thinks the angel was saying this as goodbye, expressing into words his feelings for the Winchesters. Because as and angel, maybe Cas was feeling he has to protect them all. But then he says this singular I Love You to Dean, and the guy doesn't know how to take it. It was a platonic ILY? A non platonic ILY? Does angels feel the same like us? Does he sees me as a brother? Dean was truly a mess, so he decides to respond to that with a Mixtape.

But, when Castiel disappears for days, he sinks again into that sensation of unrequited romantic love.

Then Cas comes back, and then he goes away again, and then he dies.

Season 13: The reunion and the meaning of Castiel coming back

Dean's mourning for Cas can't be interpreted otherwise than LOSING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE.

And the longing for his angel plus some Nougat powers, brought him back.

The thing is, Dean didn't expr as his feeling for Castiel and when the angel asked him that he needed to believed that he came back for a reason, Dean goes...

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

This sound like if he was recruiting Cas for war. And Cas' took it as that. So he came back to soldier angel mode. Because, okay, if Dean and Sam needed him to fight, he will fight.

Unrequited Love again.

Season 14 Healing Dean and the prelude of the break up

Post-possesed Dean is a follow up of self knowledge and self growing. He was healing the whole season.

But in episode 14x04 we heard Dean being Jealous or hurt because Castiel didn't go to rescue him and then because he goes into hunts with Jack. Unrequited love again.

Did Cas miss me as I missed him?

Is the first time Dean will actually name the word LOVE talking with the kid.

And then Mary dies and everything is a mess.

Dean yells YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, and how sad that sounds now that the angel had died again. Saving his life.

Dark clouda over our ship...

Season 15: And Maybe is not too late...

In season 15 we lived the angst of the Destiel break up, but then their reunion in Purgatory was beautiful.

Again, facing the fact that he could lost Cas one more time, Dean went down on his knees and prayed to him, and because he was in Purgatory, his heart and mind were released from any distraction, and he was plenty focused in the love he feels for his angel.

He cried, and begged for him to come back.

And he found him, following his heart, the profound bond he has with Castiel.

But, when he was about to say something that he hadn't said in the prayer, Castiel cut him off. So... Again the hunter had to swallow his words and the unrequited love punch him again.

Then... Castiel's romantic love confession took Dean by surprise, because, now that you read all the clues i gave you and i convinced you that Dean and Cas thought their love were unrequited, you will understand Dean's reaction.

Gif credit @spnsmile

Dean didn't can't believe Cas had loved him the way he does this whole time and now, he will lose him again. Is too much pain he can't handle.

For a lot of reasons we had analyzed so many times (Dean's arc has to have a closure expressing his ILY to the angel, the Empty plot is not ended, Etc) Is logical to think Cas will come back in the last episode, and this slow burn story will end with them being together, finally.

To Conclude:

The legend of the Sun and the Moon talks about two lovers that can't be reunited but they love each other deeply.

Is accurate with Destiel, because these two men had always being pining for each other but never be able to be together as they wish.

Castiel always thinking Dean doesn't reciprocate his romantic feeling for him and Dean thinking because Cas is an angel, he doesn't love him back romantically.

The Sacred Oath always playing in Castiel's POV as an impediment too and Dean's love clocked in shame too.

The deal with the Empty had been settled as we suspected in season 14, as a romantic plot. So, it has to have a closure.

These thoughts are based on the volumes from my assay "The Destiel Chronicles", currently in it's 87th volume.

See you soon! Have faith!

Destiel Is Forever!

Tagging @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @maleansu @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-cas @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @dwstiel @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please @mychemicalobsession514 @destiel-shipper-11

@asphodelesauvage @2musiclover2

Buenos Aires November 17th 2020 8:33 PM

[runephoenix6769]

“What is with the Blake / Yang hate this week? Folks seem particularly fired up.” I asked this question on a forum because of something I’ve noticed the last few days on discussions about Blake and Yang/Bumbleby/shipping in general. I keep seeing the same answers.  “It ruins the team’s dynamic.”

Welp, I’m pretty certain none of those people would say that Raven/Tai and Tai/Summer ruined the team’s dynamic. Or that Ren and Nora are currently  ruining the team’s dynamic.  What is this holy than thou crusading to protect the sanctity of the team dynamic? Rwby has always been first and foremost about interpersonal relationships. It’s what drives the actual plot. Character growth, failing relationships/friendships. How they change over time, either to grow or crumble. 

“It’s being shoehorned in, for fanwank.” How? How is it being shoehorned in? Give me a narrative breakdown as to where/how/when this occurs? Compare it to the Sun/Blake narrative and show me the glaring differences between the Yang/Blake narrative to prove that bumbleby was never planned yet blacksun was?  (Sidenote. Anyone that has been asked to do this on the forum has yet to do it.)

“Yang showed interest in boys.”“ Yes, yes she passed comment once. In vol 1 episode 1. 8 VOLUMES AGO. She has shown not a lick of interest in guys since. Its almost as if she’s like any normal 17 year old girl who is growing into adulthood and figuring herself out, who might be realising her interest in Blake isn’t strictly platonic and is trying to navigate that whilst also grappling with what that means with regards to their friendship. And dealing with an over arching situation that is, ya know, potentially the end of the world as they know it.  It’s about two years in universe, right? Which is about right of an amount of time for what its happening between them to play out. It only feels like longer to the audience because, well, its taken 8/9 years to tell the story up until that point. 

“The Fans are too loud/vocal/come on too strong.” Ok, this one I agree with, we are loud and vocal and that might come across as coming on strong  (here’s a huge) BUT, there is actually a genuine explanation for why it seems that way.   If you really think about it, objectively. 

Hear me out.  Fans are excited about the potential representation we don't otherwise usually get in media. I mean, if you have 10,000 pieces of media and only ONE of them represents lgbtq people, of course we’re gonna be excited and talk about the ONE quite a bit with others who are like us. This might also be the first time we’ve seen anything like this, or seen ourselves represented in a somewhat positive light. It stands to reason that the other 9999 pieces aren't going to hold our attention as much, esp if its the same hetero romance played out a bajillion times before, right? I mean, if you have a group of people who are constantly represented in the 9999 other shows, their voices are going to spread thinner, right? They aren’t going to be gathered all on one place, talking about the same thing because there are 9999 other choices to connect them to other people. They aren’t going to care as much if their straight ship happens/doesnt happen 

“Hey, I can move onto another piece of media that is churned out by the status quo. No big deal.”

Hetero romances are ten a penny. Flick through netflix, hulu, crunchy roll etc.  Where as if you have a group of people who are only represented in ONE show out of the 10,000 those people are going to gather in one place to connect with others and its only going to seem like they are louder due to the densely packed space.  These same people have been majority silent about the other 9999 pieces of media as their voice isn't usually represented in a positive light - being queer characters are usually brutally murdered or sidelined. (Thankyou Hays Code.)- or not even represented at all. (Bury Your Gays is a trope for a reason, folks.) And we are NEVER the titular characters. We’ve been living on crumbs and subtext for decades! Not to mention showrunners who actively queerbait the hell out of us for ratings and viewership. The almighty Pink Pound as its often referred to in business. “But why do they have to make them gay?” You’re not made gay, you’re born gay. It just takes longer for some people to realise than others. It can be a gradual realisation. And this is quite possibly the case with Yang/Blake, slowly coming to realise their own burgeoning sexualities and attraction to each other.

”Why do they have to be gay?” They don't need a reason to be queer! They just are! Queerness is only a part of a person, not their everything. It’s actually quite refreshing to see Yang/Blake being portrayed as much more than their potential sexuality.  Ask yourself, ‘Why does a character have to be straight? And why doesn’t a straight character have to constantly reaffirm their sexuality? Why is ‘straightness’ assumed by default?’ Heteronormativity, is something that has been perpetuated by decades of media. (helped by the Hays Code with its out of date moral code. To be other is to be punished within the narrative.) That straight is the default setting. It’s not! We exist! Everywhere! We always have and we are going to talk to each other about it when we see a glimpse of ourselves represented in what has been a relative Sahara Desert when it comes to queer content were we are not villainised.   “The romance is detracting from the plot.” Two seconds ago, people were claiming that the romance was none existent. Which is it? But Nora and Ren’s romance that is being held up as a mirror to bumbleby is fine? That Jaune relentlessly pursuing Weiss was perfectly ok. Neptune openly hitting on female characters is fine. 

“I don’t have a problem with LGBT. I just don’t want it forced down my throat.” Again, out of 10,000 pieces of media, this is just ONE show. Nobody is forcing anyone to watch it or participate.  Queer people have had to stomach literal 100′s of years of straight media forced upon them. Since the very conception of the written word and narrative storytelling. In plays, theatre, art, music, tv, film, on billboards, advertising, in places of education and learning etc etc. Queer people are bombarded with it whilst also being surrounded by negativity towards queerness. 

“They are shoving it down my throat!” part two Is hand holding, compassion and expressing concern for another person and comforting them somehow offensive? Renora kissed, not a problem. Arkos kissed, not a problem. Show me in the sand where the line is drawn. What is the difference? Please explain this to me? Why is the expression of queerness somehow offensive? Is this because decades of media have perpetuated the false idea that all queer people are sex crazed perverts? That you’ve been groomed into thinking that queer sexuality is only based in the act of sex itself? That queer sexuality couldn’t possibly be similar to heterosexuality in its expression?

That it couldn’t possibly be about attraction, emotional, mental and maybe one day blossom into physical between two consenting adults, a pure expression of love the exact same as heterosexuality. 

That some how queer love stems from some sort of deviancy or mental health issue. That queer people are some how bad or evil, and therefore their expression of affection is wrong? Oh, I wonder where those beliefs have possibly stemmed from?  “Why are they in my face?” part three.  50% of of the titular cast are potentially queer. Blake and Yang. But if you look at the overall cast ensemble that runs at minimum 16 any given volume, that’s a measly 12.5% (prolly a lot smaller if you actually counted the whole cast that appears in rotation each volume) Also, someone did the math. Blake - a titular character- actually has less spoken lines that Jaune. ffs. B&Y spent neatly a whole two volumes of 8 apart. 25% of the narrative as it stands on entirely different continents. 

I fail to see how it being in someone’s face could be the case.

  “I just don't see it!”

That’s ok and perfectly valid But listen when people who have lived this experience are telling you that their experience is being portrayed on the screen. That they see themselves being represented.  OK, This completely got away from me. In conclusion. They are more straight people than queer people and media often reflects that.   We are usually the silent minority, we are sick of it but we are used to it and we are very excited that things seem to be finally changing.

It’s two characters in an large cast in ONE show out of 10,000. Its a piece of media that, for a change, hasn’t been 100% curated for straight people.  We are often not allowed to play in the sand box and if we are, we’re told to play with the broken toys, be grateful and quiet. So when we are given a sandbox to play in with new unbroken toys, we are gonna dog pile in there and make a ruckas, calling our friends over. What I’m trying to say is, it’s gonna get rowdy.  and here’s something to think about.  “When you are used to privilege, equality feels like deprivation.”  

[luminescent-chorus]

FANVIDS MASTERLIST

Sam and Dean

Urban legends The infamous Winchesters : a dark tale

Cornerstone 15 years of ‘there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you’

It’s always been you and me Soulmates : a retrospective

Motel rooms If Heaven was still about driving down memory lane

When is a monster not a monster ? ‘Start by pulling him out of the fire…’

Parentification ‘I had to be more than a brother’

When tomorrow starts without me Last words to a loved one (15x20)

Chlorine Sam’s blood tale in season 4, his strained relationship with Dean

I will follow you Dean being unable to live without Sam

.

Sam/Dean

Siren ‘This could be perfection A venom drippin’ in your mouth’

Subtext, paratext, intertext ‘You know they are brothers, right ?’

Wincest and The Almighty Is a sin divine when it comes from God ?

And I still love him Sam reminiscing their story after Dean’s death

Unhealthy Obsession A love you can’t escape

We should be lovers instead (wip)

.

Subtitles by Richard Siken

De mon âme à ton âme (wip) Sam and Dean’s lethal love

Little Beast Season 1 aka mutual pining

Wishbone All Hell Break Loose

.

Homages to wincest fics

About them Descriptions of Sam and Dean’s bond

Missing Sam Dean as Odysseus, longing to reach his Ithaca : Sam

.

Shipcest

Sibling complex (multifandom)

.

Darkchesters

Birds in the storm Listen to demons hiding inside

Ask me if I give a fuck Tearing the world apart

.

American Horror Family

Mad House The Winchesters Freak Show

Home is where it hurts From haunting to domestic violence

Your child, your repetition John, Mary, Dean and Sam’s : the parallels between their deaths and rebirths

.

Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy

Sam I’ve got a secret under my skin

Children and dark magic (multifandom)

.

Dean/John

No fairy tale The one where every member of the family is denied a happy end

Dear Father I hate you for all the sacrifices you made for me/ I love you for always driving me insane

.

Fatherhood

Complicated relationship Oh daddy

We’ll fend for ourselves Letter to an absent father

Oh,,,darlin’ ‘What have I done ? Now I do my talking with a gun’

A hero just like daddy Worship and inferiority complex

Natural born sinner (wip : Sam & John)

.

John’s journal

Sam and Dean’s childhood… as told by their father. His words explain how the events of yesterday shaped their present.

#1 : A Special Kid

#2 : Killer Instinct

#3 : Keywords

#4 : Carry On

#5 : 1983

.

Motherhood

Black wedding (wip : Sam & Mary)

Mothering from the other side Being haunted by and letting go of the ghost of a parent

What I’ve lost Mary, her lost Heaven and children

.

Hunting life

‘Cause you’re a natural A beating heart of stone

I Like It Heavy The rush

Tired of this job, this life (wip) The hardships

.

Faith

Horror show (wip)

Do you believe in angels ? (wip)

Heaven is just a fairytale to put you to bed (wip)

Can’t play God without being acquainted with the devil (wip)

.

Content warning

Not yours to touch Dean and sexual violence

Walking on the street (wip)

.

— OTHER FANDOMS —

The boys

Gods among men Homelander - Soldier Boy