#the fact that it does not take 6 years to make a game like this

[chrissshub]

KAMA SUTRA SESSIONS!

°❀°•༢ ❥ SYNOPSIS: When you get an appointment from a passing athlete who wants to better his game with women, who's better to answer the call than the resident sęx therapist?

°❀°•༢ ❥ CW: 8.7k words, told in first person, sẽx therapist!fem!reader, post timeskip!ushijima, not mentioned but ages are both 26, use of an oc, dialogue-heavy, pwp, peņetration, cunnilīngus, fiňgering, sqûirting, implied size difference, unprotected

°❀°•༢ ❥ DEAR READER, FROM CHRIS: So this was inspired by my most recent field of study: s*x and the kama sutra. and from my research and thinking "hm, who would have an interest in this?" is how this fic came to be. hope you enjoy!

In the life as a sex therapist, there’s some things that you hear, see, and even experience that add years to the career. 

 At first, I thought it was going to be a failed business move, considering that sex is seen as a taboo topic by some. I mean, it’s a process as natural as birth but people shame it with such strong resentment…like it’s an unimaginable evil that’s ruining the world.

I couldn’t help but to think my discouragement was properly placed. I was in a town with families, retirees, no one that would really need my advice.

That “failed business move” of a thought lasted all of a week. 

Thanks to the small pickett signs I personally had made and placed around the office building’s parking lot and nearby plazas, I had clients booking with me by the hour. 

Couples of all ages—some married, some divorced, many singles, even polyamorous groupings contacted my office. 

When people heard of a new sex therapist entering the area and started booking sessions with me, I could only wish to know what was going through their minds.

I’ve dealt with teary confessions about how wives have lost attraction for their husbands, husbands who come to terms with the fact that they don’t know how to please their wives. I’ve even gotten singles who’ve come in just to make sure they still know how to perform in the bedroom. 

In these past four years, I’ve learned that just because people shun the idea of sex and sexual education during the day, they’ll come on their hands and knees at night. It’s been an interesting ride, but I can proudly say that I’ve helped many people in the area rekindle their sparkle and to finally achieve their goals with their partners.

The days I’ve spent at the office were nothing short of fulfilling—and today was supposed to be like no other.

Supposed to, of course.

My day started out like normal; waking up in my bed with my eyes fluttering open. The first thing I settled my hazy squint  onto was the rays of sunlight peeking through my creme shutters, begging to illuminate my room. 

I pried my hand from underneath my pillow to grab my phone off on my bedside table, the screen greeting me with a single message: 

(1) VOICEMAIL FROM: Hana

Hana, my cheeky, bright-eyed, receptionist. She joined me when she was a freshman at the local community college, just taking classes until she figured out what she wanted to do with her life. Fast-forward to today, she’s a fresh graduate with a bachelors in psychology. 

She’s taken it upon herself to call her around 6 A.M every day with a debrief of the day ahead. When I asked her why she does it, the sweet girl simply told me the extra effort was the least she could do. 

Since then, I’ve bumped her pay high enough so that she can support herself by herself and haven’t pressed the topic a vowel further.

With my debriefing at hand, I sat up in my bed, sleep still lingering behind my eyelids. I have half a mind to cancel whatever appointments I have today and sleep just for an hour more. But when I looked down at the time on my screen, it was a reality I knew I couldn’t afford.

9:00 A.M.

My office opened in an hour and my first appointment always starts at 10:30…bless me.

“Okay, Hana, let’s see what you have for me,” I mumbled as I clicked on the awaiting tab. 

As my thumb pressed the play button, Hana’s voice instantly became my background noise for my morning routine—which began in the bathroom for a shower.

“‘Morning, Y/N! Hope you slept well! I have good news and bad news for you. And no, I can’t give you the bad news first because it’s intertwined with the good news. So for starters, you have a light day—one appointment! Bad news…and this is a first for us…this client booked you for a few hours.”

“Hours?!? What the fu—“

Just hearing that made me pop my head from behind the glass shower door. Clients usually meet with me for an hour, an hour and a half if needed but hours???

“I know exactly what you’re thinking because…what the fuck?? But when I explain more about him, I think you’ll be impressed.”

“Okay, you’ve got a bit of a celebrity on your hands today. This one is Ushijima Wakatoshi. He’s 26, a player for the Schweiden Alders…a professional volleyball team. He’s playing a game against our national team and is gonna be in town for a few days. He booked with you because, and this is in his words, he says that he’s a little “awkward in the realm of love and wants to improve his social skills and….intimate skills.” He also sent over test results…he’s clean, just to let you know . So…have fun with this one!”

And just like that, Hana’s cheery voice was reduced to naught, melding with the stillness of my bathroom. 

I turned off the water, standing in a foggy haze. There was only one thought in my mind: 

Well then, Ushijima Wakatoshi…let’s start the day together right.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“Hana! Oh my sweet flower, I brought your favorite♪!” I sang, entering through the office’s  front door.

Hana lifted her head from behind the monitor, her bright smile complementing my own. 

“An omlettle with cheese and hash browns on the side?!?” She squealed, jumping from her seat. 

“Mhm! Enjoy!”

Before I could take a step further, Hana ran to greet me with a hug, her curly black hair dusting along my chest. 

“Thank you, Thank you!” She cheered, stepping back from me. She quickly took the stuffed brown bag from my hands before returning to her desk. 

With a fading grin, I turned my attention down towards my top, a fitted rose dress shirt with just a few top buttons left undone. I wiped a few wrinkles away, shifting my attention down to my  black pressed slacks that didn't face the same fate. 

Still just as fresh and clean as when I left my apartment.

“So,” I began as I walked towards Hana. “How much do I have before our guest checks in?”

“Mmm, about 20. But Y/N…he’s so hot! I looked him up and wow! Like…I’m kinda confused how he’s having issues with girls. I’m sure the women at his matches throw themselves at him,” Hana gushed between a bite of her omelette.

I leaned against the rim of the desk, resting my red leather purse and my hips along the surface.

“Oh, you know how it goes. Looks can get you far, but it’s your words and actions that determine your success. I bet he does look good, but he probably needs more work on his confidence.”

“Ah, true. Well, you go tidy up your office and I’ll run the vacuum out here in a few,” Hana said, her hand shooing me away.

I grabbed my bag and giggled, “Okay, okay! But—“

I couldn’t even finish my thought when the front door tolled open, gaining a stare out of Hana and me.

“Um…excuse me…I’m here for Dr. L/N. I have an appointment at 10:30, but I just wanted to show up a little early,” the deep voice announced.

I turned my head to meet the owner behind such a voice, just for my eyes to be stunned at the sight.

A man, a tall one at that. He stood in the middle of the office with a straight face, staring back at Hana and I. His hair was a shade of brown unique to him only, brushed back to reveal his entire face. His features were strong—his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, brows trimmed and clean,  his eyes glimmering like that of a polished citrine gem. 

Hana was right…he really was something to marvel at.

He stood with his hands behind his back, impassively waiting for someone to reply—or not, he really seemed unbothered.

I didn’t even need to guess what his physique could be underneath such proper garb. Those  muscles weren’t shy of peeking  beneath the navy suit he wore. The white dress shirt beneath was crisp, and no tie was in sight —which I guess is casual to him.

I bit my lip softly, I’ve never been intimidated by a man before, but this one made my face swell with a wafting heat. So this is Ushijima Wakatoshi…the name fits him perfectly.

Nonetheless, I had a job to do.

I rolled my shoulders back and began a few short steps towards him, the click of my heels slienced against the plush sage green carpet. 

There I was, standing before him. My height met him just beneath his collar—and that’s thanks to my heels. I held my hand out to him, my glossed lips curling into a rich smile. 

“Mr. Ushijima, it’s so nice to meet you! I’m Dr. L/N, but Y/N works just fine. This is Hana, my lovely receptionist.”

His hand was rough and worked, but slid against my palm like butter, his warmth melding into my touch. His thumb sat past my own, the rough pad swiping ever so softly along my skin. When my eyes finally eased from their shared smile as my lips, I couldn’t look away from him. 

His own gaze was captivating, almost entrapping me in a trace of just him and I. I watched as his lips curled into a faint smile, a brief flash of white meeting my eyes.

“Oh, Y/N, it’s wonderful to meet you! Please, feel free to call me Ushijima or Wakatoshi! I’ve been waiting for this appointment for a while now.. 

He broke away from our contact to give his attention to Hana, waving to her with his other hand.

“And it’s nice to meet you too, Hana! Thank you for your hard work!”

I didn’t need to look back to know the look on Hana’s face: she’s a flustered mess with her tongue  caught in a shudder.

“O-Oh…thanks, sir! It’s not without Y/N, though. I c-can tell you that you’ll be in…great hands!.”

Ushijima turned his sights back towards me, that muted curl of his lips growing into a full-bodied smile at last. 

“I sure hope so.”

I gave Ushijima one last smile before taking my hand away from his, my hands clasping together. 

“Let’s begin! I’ll bring you back and we’ll get on,” I announced, turning away from Ushijima. 

As I passed by the desk, I grabbed my bag and gave Hana a swift smirk, one she returned with a wink. 

Ushijima and I descended down the hall until we arrived to a room a door down from my office, room 165.

I turned the doorknob as I leaned against the white door, “Come on in.”

Ushijima nodded as he passed me, the faint scent of his cologne whisked past my nose. It’s rich—bergamot, some sage, amber, and even a hint of vanilla. That’s a good mix, and his body isn’t rejecting it, a man who knows his signature scent is a rare one these days.

The room I bought us to was of decent size—about the size of a child’s bedroom. The walls were handpainted by Hana and I some years ago, a soft peach with white carpeting. The furniture was all espresso colored, from the two leather seats that faced one another, the coffee table between the two, and the bookshelf that stood against the window.

It was a pretty comfy room, one that many current and past clients raved about. 

“Pick your side and get comfortable, we’re gonna be here awhile,” I teased, closing the door behind me. 

“I must apologize for that. I heard about you some time ago during a tournament and I’ve always wanted to have a sit down with you. And since I don’t come to the States often, I thought it was best to have an ample amount of time with you,” Ushijima confessed as he settled into the leather arm chair.

I followed suit, placing my bag onto the table as I sank into the seat. 

“Oh, don’t apologize! You’re actually my only client today, so we can take up all day if need be. I want you to leave here confident and more sure of yourself. Which brings me to my first question…”

I folded my legs over one other, resting my hands within my lap. My eyes settled over Ushijima, not with the same set that marveled at him just minutes before. This time, I excused his attraction for purpose, preparing myself to ask the timeless question:

“What brings you in today?”

Ushijima brought himself to sit up in his seat, his large hands drifting to brace his clothed thigh.

“Well, put shortly—I wanna get better with women. I can’t talk to them, and then I see my teammates—they can strike up a conversation with them so easily. And women do talk to me, but it’s just not…oh how can I put this…with substance?”

“What do women say to you?” I asked, leaning back into the couch.

“Just talk about my looks, or how impressed they are. I’ve heard it one too many times, it gets tiring. I know they’re just trying to make conversation with me by complimenting me, but those things just bore me. My teammates love that kind of attention, but it all seems pointless to me.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” Ushijima sighed. “It’s just going to go nowhere. I’m not into hooking up, the thought bores me honestly. I mean, I feel that you don’t get the best of someone after one night, especially if your goal is just sex.”

“So then Ushijima—”

“Wakatoshi…please call me, Wakatoshi,” Ushijima intervened, a feeble smile creeping onto his face.

“Okay…Wakatoshi, call me Y/N. Doctor is just too formal for me,” I added. “But it still begs the question, Wakatoshi: What are you looking for?”

“As in my romantic goals or my type?” 

“Both work perfectly! Your interests do tie into your romantic goals,” I informed him.

Now, it’s so unbecoming of me to ask a client what their type is…but Ushijima is such a special case that I’ll overlook just this once.

After posing the question to him, Ushijima took a moment of silence to ponder, his eyes narrowing down on me.

“My type is…smart. Really smart. A put together woman with a good sense of humor. I’m more on the rigid side but I do appreciate a woman who can find joy in things. Her beauty goes without saying, so basically—a woman of substance.”

“Okay, sounds—

“What’s your type?”

Just the query to catch me off my guard…and pique my interest. In all my years, I’ve never had a client return any of my questions to me; I didn’t think Ushijima would be the first. 

My cheeks flickered with heat, but I found comfort within the moment by biting my tongue softly. My eyes were pinned on him, Ushijima still wearing that blank yet firm expression on his face— neutral eyes, brows stilled and his mouth free of any curl or twitch.

Just a peaceful face behind a stinging question.

“I don’t see how that matters…?” I said, staring at Ushijima through a razor-sharp squint.

“But it does matter. It’s not a hard question unless you make it one,” he continued. “What’s your type of man, Y/N? It’d be nice to know, since we’re gonna be here awhile together.”

A grin perked up onto his lips, the cracks of pearly white teeth breaking onto the scene.

 “Can’t I ask you some questions too?”

My lips broke apart between a brewing sigh, the tip of my tongue pressed against the gummy flesh of my cheek. I can’t deny him to be honest, we are stuck here for some time, and this session couldn’t continued as a one sided conversation forever.

“Alright, my type…my type…. I like a tall man, a nice athletic build, keeps himself well kept. As far as personality: smart, kind, respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. Thoughtfulness, however, is a big one for me. It’s nice to know you mean so much to someone that they would take actions out of that place of love. That’s quite admirable in my eyes.”

There was an air of silence between Ushijima and I. He sat still and I did the same. Our eyes hadn’t broken from each other either, yet the softening hues of olive green made me feel calm beneath Ushijima’s gaze. 

But this was an appointment, not a staring contest. I was the first to break the silence.

“A-hem..Um… well, I digress, let’s continue,” I choked out. 

I broke the eye contact Ushijima and I worked so hard to maintain with a simple blink, searching for the next territory of topic to enter. 

“So where did we—talked about types…but that’s not exactly helpful in the slightest. I know you wanted to address conversation too, but can you explain a little bit more?”

Ushijima nodded calmly, but that wasn’t all I got from him. Vunerabilty was one hell of a feeling, and it dusted the highs of his cheeks red. And as his skin began to run hot, Ushijima himself grew antsy, his hand coming to rub at  the nape of his neck. 

But…it was cute to me. The emotions I see on a daily basis are pride, sadness, anger—but embarrassment is a rare one that I can always appreciate. 

 “I…I don’t know how to flirt. It’s always awkward and I honestly feel stupid,” he mumbled, his stare pinned down at his pants. 

“I hear you,” I consoled, a faint smile crowding at my lips.

“It’s such an unspoken realm that everyone is expected to know how to do but with no explanation. Flirting is something that is also unique to each person. It  can be acts of kindness, giving compliments,—or the complete opposite. Some people like to tease, play rough, or even act cold as a form of flirting.”

Ushijima followed along with me, nodding his head every so often. 

“So then, what is the best way of flirting?” He asked.

“Well, I can’t say. —

“Let me rephrase,” He interjected. “What would a man have to do or say to you in order for you to be interested in him?”

“Wit.”

“Wit?”

“Yeah, I love witty, intelligent conversations. It could be anything and I’ll find interest in it. Just being able to express your intelligence to me—whether it be on topic you know or asking questions, I love it all. I guess to keep it short, the mind and how a man expresses his knowledge is what gets me interested.”

The presence of a faint grin lit up Ushijima’s face.

“That’s what it takes, hm…”

An air of enticement bled into the room and it shamefully claimed me as its victim. I’ll admit, I’ve never had a client as interesting as Ushijima. Aside from his genuine intrigue about sex and the ways of courting, he seems to have something more on his mind—and I wanted to know every single detail. But he plays along too well, thanks to that blank expression he wears so proudly. But he slipped up with that damn grin, now it’s my turn to play the next hand. 

I placed my hand on the open cushion beside me, the tips of my fingers drumming along the leather surface.

“Come sit, let’s do an exercise…just so it really sinks in. Maybe you’ll be able to use this as reference for the next lady that catches your eye.”

And just like that, Ushijima was swift to oblige. I was hooked on the sight of him standing from his seat, his hand toying with the buttons of his blazer. The white dress shirt he wore was finally revealed to me, the subtle hints of his muscular frame peeking through. 

His steps were calm and controlled, carefully trudging around the glass coffee table. Ushijima held himself with a confidence unmatched to any man I’ve met thus far. He was interesting to observe, and even more fun to tease. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in seeing how far we could go, all kinds of thoughts were plaguing my mind. 

As he stood over me,  I had to bite back a smile, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. 

This was turning out to be an interesting session, after all.

Ushijima placed himself on the couch at an arm’s length away, leaving an untasteful gap amongst us. Yet when my eyes had fallen on his stoic face, the man’s fair skin was budding with the innocence of pink. 

“Well don’t be shy, Wakatoshi,” I cooed. My hand patted at the spot just beside my thigh, hinting for him to move closer. 

“We are here together for quite some time, might as well get…a little close.”

With a firm nod, Ushjima bridged the gap between strangers to acquanitances among us, his body now resting snug at my side. He had yet to face me, as if he was embarrassed to do. I noticed that he kept his hands in his lap, his digits nervously fiddling around. 

I reached over to his hand, softly grazing along the back of his hand to ease his worries.

“Ushijima? You ready? We don’t have to do this, if you’re not comfortable—”

“No, let’s do it,” he huffed, his body turned towards me. “What kind of exercise are we doing?” He asked, turning his body to face me.

“Great! For the exercise, let’s pretend we’re meeting at…oh, I dunno, a bar. Do your best to try and ask me out on a date.”

“Um…Y/N…you do realize that the fact that I can’t ask anyone on a date is why we’re here, right?”

“Yes…I do, thank you for that. Use your imagination—a bar has ambiance lighting, soft music, drinks on rotation, play on the environment, and make a good impression, okay?”

Ushijima sat in silence for a moment, his eyes narrowing as the seconds passed. I could assume that he was thinking—really thinking at that. 

I almost pulled into my own daze of boredom, the color of the walls catching my eye—until the quiet mumble of his voice broke the stilled air. 

“Well…what do you drink at a bar?”

I tucked my leg beneath me as I shifted myself to give Ushijima my full and undivided attention. He mirrored me, turning so that we were both facing one another. Yet again, our eyes locked, unwilling to falter from the view we had of one another.

“I usually go for a glass of wine, I’m not a fan of heavy liquor.”

“Wine’s a good choice. Are you someone who pairs wine with food?”

I shook my head, “Not really. But, I do know that red wine goes best with some fruits, chocolate, and steak. Rosé goes best with grilled vegetables or salmon, and white is the best of both worlds.”

“Oh really?” Ushijima hummed. “I never realized wine could be so specific. Since you know so much, why not put your knowledge to the test?”

“And how are we gonna do that?”

A soft smile grew across Ushijima’s lips. He seemed to relax a bit–his shoulders laxed, his side now resting against the couch’s back cushions, he even shifted a bit closer to me too; all of which made me ease up too. I wasn’t feeling as guilty as I was before–if anything, I was pleased with the way our exercise was going.

Ushijima has such a nice, easy voice that greets the ear so kindly, and his eyes were just so alluring to stare into, I could sit here for hours just watching how his moss green hues catch the light of every hour. Not to mention that the scent of his cologne was finally welcomed into the scene, just wafting past my nose every so often. 

He had all the making of an ideal guy, so why isn’t he–

“I know a place near here, a nice restaurant with a wine cellar in the basement,” he led on. “ They have collections that date back years, and from what I know, the darker the wine, the richer…no, the sweeter it drips on the tongue. I’d like to hear your thoughts in a…professional setting, if you may.”

“I’d like that,” I nodded, a curling grin consuming my senses. “I’m sure you’d have some thoughts to tell me too.”

Ushijima shrugged, his hand coming to brace the pulse of his neck. “Honestly, there’s a lot on my mind I could tell you so much right now, but then…well…we might not make it to the restaurant. And I’m just dying to pour you a glass of wine, so…for now I’ll be paitent.”

I pushed my lips into a wading pout. I could feel my eyes softening beneath his gaze. He could find the time to tease me back while flustered like this…interesting.

“And what if I don’t have the same patience?” I pried, a sly smirk pressed onto my lips.

That’s when Ushijima sealed the end of our improv scene, bringing his hull of a body to overshadow my own. His lips came to fill the shell of my ear with an esteemed chuckle. His breath painted against my skin, awakening my nerves to greet him. I was helpless, at his every whim—and not a fiber in me wanted it any other way. 

“Then I’ll just have to tease you ‘til you break…right?”

He drew himself back gradually, our dilated eyes catching sight of each other once more. I was at a loss for words, my lips agape beneath the heat of shock.  At that moment, all I could think about what would follow—his lips crashing into mine, his hands bracing every curve of my body. I wanted to be under him, to have to stare up into those eyes to plead for relief from the stirring heat flaring about my body. 

But then again, this isn’t some magic fairytale…it’s an appointment.

“How was that?” He asked, his words breaking my sinful chain of thought. 

“Good,” I complimented, hiding my roused thoughts behind a smile. “You’ll most definitely get a date like that.”

“Well, I might have gotten the date, but I wanna be able to…y’know…”

“To what, Ushijima? You gotta be a little more clear than that,” I smirked. 

His skin began to flush itself of its tan shade in lieu of the trickles of rose dotting the highs of his cheek. 

“To…please a woman.”

“Please? Like…please and thank you? I hate speaking in code…especially in a professional setting.” I continued to press. 

If I had known he was so shy towards the topic of sex earlier, then we would’ve been able to ease into it. But for him to tease me like that…it’s only fair I return the gracious favor.

Ushijima’s eyes shot wide, a gasp breaking his lips apart. He was reluctant, but he gave in, biting at his bottom lip.

“Fine…I wanna know how to be good at sex…happy?”

“Oh, well to be good at sex is just the same as being a good lover. And I can show you how with this…" I trailed off.

 I quickly rose from my spot on the couch, setting my sights on my bookcase. A few steps brought in front of the shelved plethora of knowledge, eyes searching for the spine of the book needed for the moment.

"Ah! Here we are," my hand plucking out the book from its peers. 

“This…is the Kama Sutra. It’s an ancient Indian text written by the Hindu philosopher, Vātsyāyana Mallanaga; that explains how both men and women can lead rich sexual and social lifestyles. The Kama Sutra has become associated with sex positions over the years, but it doesn’t make it a heavy presence within the book.”

I returned to Ushijima’s side, seating myself beside him with the book in tow. I rested the Kama Sutra on his lap, allowing him to absorb the famed text. I watched as his eyes flitted about the cover, tracing every word to be found.

“Wanna flip through it?” I suggested, softly tugging at the book cover. 

“Yeah,” Ushijima nodded. “I’m interested.”

From the moment I opened the book, Ushijima and I were bound by the knowledge of the old world. The pages were written in english, yet the message was something that transcended all known languages. I went on to explain to him how the kama sutra devled into how sex between two lovers should be enjoyable for everyone, and how the pleasure of the woman would lead to ultimate satisfaction for both parties.

Though I’ve read it before for papers, presentations, and even for my dissertation, reading it with Ushijima was an experience that struck the strings of my heart in a special way. 

Maybe it was becasue he expressed a genuine interest in the questions he asked. Or maybe it was the cute reactions he made when things finally clicked. Or maybe it was the plain fact that I had someone beside me to read it with for once. 

From time to time, I took a few moments to study Ushijima’s reaction to his answered questions. He would blink a few times, as though he had to internalize all of what was said. Then, he’d peered over to me with a smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

Our chase of knowledge led us to the chapter on positions, the page’s title calling for Ushijima’s attention to be riled. 

“This chapter looks short. Where are the positions?”

“Well, the Kama Sutra actually doesn’t have any positions, it gives advice on how to select and personalize positions between lovers.”

“Huh,” he huffed. “…and what does that look like?

“Want me to show you?”

A blanket of silence fell over him, and he’s back to wearing that blank, sedated look on his face.

Damn, was that too strong? It was a little forward but I know it’s nothing—

“If it’s not too much…I’d be honored.”

“Well, then,” I grinned as I placed the book atop of the glass tabletop. “Let’s get started.”

Ushijima’s hand nuzzled along my waist, guiding me  over his lap to straddle him.

“You can just sit right on me, I think we’re getting a little closer, yeah?”

“I think we are, but we can get closer too, y’know.”

“And can we do that?” 

With that burning question of his, I was forced to bear the weight of what lust looks in his eyes—his pupils dilating, his eyelids growing heavy, and a mischievous smirk tracing his lips. 

“Do you wanna be on top?” I quizzed, toying with the top button of his dress shirt.

“Well I’m just here to observe, so I think you should be on top,” he said, leaning back against the couch. He brought me down with him, his hands nestled along my lower back. Just like that, my chest was smothered against the tauntingly chiseled mass of his own. 

My hands languidly skimmed along the face of Ushijima’s shirt. He held still as my touch consumed him and his senses whole, his lungs coaxed into a steam of shaky shallow, breaths. 

“Y’know, we have to find a way to make this position our own, make sure we fit each other just right,” I hummed, draping my arms along his broad shoulders. I lowered myself further into his groin,  pressing up against something hard…and twitchy.

That’s when I felt it, a thick bulge nested right between Ushijima and I. 

Men are so easy, it’s so cute. 

That stoic face of his was cracking right before my eyes—his eyes screwed shut, lips stunning with a puffy pout, his cheeks brushed with the innocent hues of blush. He looked so lost in his own heat, desperately squirming for a remedy. 

“Oh my-fuck, Y/N. What do you want from me? I’ll do anything, just say the word!”

I brought my thumb to tug along the plush of Ushijima’s bottom lip, his glossed skin clinging to my touch.

“Aww, where’s the patience you had earlier? I thought you were gonna tease me? But seeing you like this…it’s a good look on you too, Wakatoshi.”

A gentle grin eased itself into Ushijima’s features, fueled by the same salacious nature dotting his eyes. His hold over me shifted, his hand slipping down to grasp at the thick curve of my ass. He even found the chance to snake his hand between us to cup at the underside of my thigh. He kept me near, forcing his chest to curl into mine as he sat up once more. 

“I can guarantee you one thing, Y/N.” Ushijima huffed, his heavy eyes peering up at me. 

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“After me, you won’t ever need another lover.”

My hazy stare fluttered between his eyes and his lips, capturing the sight of It was almost likat was all I needed to finally be sealed beneath his trance. And because of that, I was able to press a soft peck onto Ushijima’s lips, breaking away just to whisper words of encouragement for his racing mind to catch. 

“Then prove it.”

Sharing my spite, Ushijima’s lips bared one final smirk before crashing against my own. His kiss told me all I needed to know–soft, puffy, and clinging to my own. The supply curves of his lips caught every pushing tide I offered, ignithing a ravenous intent deep within us both. 

His hands roamed over my body, claiming every curve, every inch of me for his taking. It’s dizzying to have him like this, a nonchalant man turned hungry for every crumb to offer. He was getting restless, his hips bucking for friction all over again. 

Maybe I was so focused on how dumb his lips had driven me or his hands tracing my body like a sculpture to his sculpture, but how he managed to have me pinned beneath him and smothered into the leather cushion is a mystery to me alone, but I wasn’t about to complain. 

How could I when he smothered me beneath the thick of his chest, sending my head into a dizzied frenzy But with the way his lips carried such care to dance with mine was enough for me to forgive him for being so needy. The same needy–no, greedy nature made him take control without any room for debate, and I surely wasn’t planning on starting anything I couldn’t finish.

“Mm, Y/N?” He mumbled, breaking our kiss.

“Hm?"

“If I remember correctly, didn’t the book say I should make you cum a few times? Through your pleasure, I'll find mine right?"

"Look at you, guess you really are learning. I think it did...so what are we gonna do about that?"

I didn’t need to hear the words to know what he had planned. I lifted my hips to help him, his hands stripping me free of my pants. 

Ushijima slotted himself between the couch and the table, clutching at my waist from below. 

His arms hooked around my thighs, his hands resting within the crease of my thighs, his filled palms squeezing at the plush fat. He seemingly ignored the fact that my underwear—the most annoying fact to exist—was still on.

Until his fingers began to trace along the pink lace. Slowly, carefully, and lazily he dragged the pad of his digit all over my panties, feeding some new whim of his. 

I watched him for a while as he led with his own agenda. Until I couldn’t sit still without some answer. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Am I?” He retorted, his eyes darting to meet mine.

His touch burned with the thrill of tease as he gradually followed the edges towards the inseam of my panties. The pad of his middle finger was all he relied on as he carefully traced the puffy lips of my pussy. 

His finger sunk between my clothes lips, just for his discovery to be rewarded with the bud of my clit. That’s when Ushijima pinned his stare on me, antagonizing me into a game of endurance. 

Those aimless strokes turned into a series of sloppy circles, Ushijima claiming my clit as his latest victim in his game of taunts.

A whine cracked from behind my lips, something was stirring deep within me. He’s just teasing me but yet it was enough for my legs to tremble and my core to grow heavy with desire. How the fuck was he doing this to me?

A sigh from Ushijima broke my train of jumbled thoughts, bringing me back into the hellish scene. 

His breath fanned over the supple skin of my inner thigh, the heat inducing tremors to rake through my limbs. 

“Aw, I’m making a mess, “ Ushijima sighed. “Oh well.”

He drew himself back from me, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. He plucked his shirt open one button at a time, stopping just midway of his chest. 

I closed my legs, allowing him to tug my soaked pink pantiesf rom beneath me and off somewhere in the room. Ushijima returned to his post between my thighs—prying my legs apart for him to fill once again. His heavy arms curled around my thighs, his cheek nuzzled against the plumped skin. 

My face swelled with heat as he continued his marvels, his hand cupping my cunt. His thick fingers settled against my lips, spreading the fat supple mounds apart for him to see. 

“Oh, Y/N…” He mumbled, pulling my hips closer to his awaiting tongue. 

A scattered sigh tore out from Ushijima’s mouth, tickling my bare pussy with its heat. 

His heavy eyes were pinned to the raw sight he created of my pussy. I watched as his sights flickered over the scene, enticing his teeth to digging into his bottom lip. Determination painted his face with its fierce hues that it even fanned over to me. I’ve never had a man look at my cunt with such passion. It was enough for me to even succumb to the heat of it all. 

“Mm, fuck. Just lemme…” Ushijima trailed off mindlessly. 

Before he could even finish his thought, his lips were already busy with peppering kisses along my dewed folds. Kisses that were wet, sloppy and kiss carried the sweet, lewd cries of Ushijima coaxing my clit to join in his dance for two.

It’s filthy the way Ushijima works at my clit—his tongue lolls about my clit lazily, leaving glimmering soapy trails of spit to drip past my folds.

Every lash he delivers is a thoughtful one; the warm, soft flat of his tongue dragging against the puffy pearl, the sticky mess he’d made out of my clit clinging to the grooves of his tongue.

His lips are like velvet, left plump by the kisses we’d given on each just moments before. And to have those same luscious lips envelope my clit into a world that was nothing short of dizzying. 

Just the thought of his ministrations alone left my clit spry, the bundle of nerves twitching within the confines of Ushijima’s sloppy mouth. He busied himself with a soporific rhythm, suckling at the rathe bud just for kicks.

Ushijima peered at me through dilated pupils, those olive hues flickering all about my face. I couldn’t imagine the sight he had of me being committed to memory: puffy lips spilling with drool, close eyes screwed shut, and crude, whimsical curses ripping from my mouth. 

“Mmhm, talk to me, Angel. feels good?”

“Mm, yesyesyes! Oh fuck, just like that Ushijima!” my voice weakly keened. 

Awe glistened in my eyes as I watched him, mindlessly chasing an orgasm for my body to revel in. Yet, my drowsy lids were pinned to his jaw, bearing the weight of his hunger. Something came over me, a sense of adoration. So, I reached out to cup his jaw, grazing along what  worked so hard to pull an orgasm out of me. 

My thumb settled along the highs of his cheek, stroking at his flustered skin. He’s doing such a good job on my behalf, how couldn’t I thank him?

“Oh, that’s it. Y’re doing a good job, Ushijima,” I praised, sharing a weak grin. 

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet, pretty girl,” he chuckled softly.

In place of his lips, Ushijima brought a single digit nip at my entrance. He drew lazy circles around my slit, prepping me for what’s to come.

He’s gentle, easing barely half an inch of his digit inside. My walls grew lax for Ushijima, sucking  his long thick fingers to fill my pussy.

He made me so sensitive that just off that, I was whimpering out babbles to fall on no one’s ears in particular. Yet Ushijima still took heed to be kind with me.

“Shhh, just take me, baby. ‘m gonna go as slow as you want me to,” he assured. 

I didn’t feel his hand move from my thigh, but it did, reaching out for my own. Through my drunken senses, I managed to welcome his hand into mine, our fingers folding over one another.  

Bit by bit, Ushijima’s finger filled my gummy walls. He really was gentle, moving when my walls were lax and willing. He drove his finger to the hilt, only to slowly pull his digit back.

“Oh…fuckkk…s’ pretty,” he slurred, passing a glance back towards me. 

“Tell me where you want me.”

“Just curl your finger up--- oooh fuck!” I mewled, tossing my head back against the couch.

My hands followed suit, splitting away from Ushijima to grip along the couch’s frame behind my head. When I had Ushijima in my sights again, it wasn’t without a smug grin crowding his visage.

“So…is it here?” Ushijima asked, the pad of his digit lightly pulsing at my sweet spot.

“Mhm, right there. Just keep doing that.”

“Aww, Y/N, you shouldn’t have told me that—‘m gonna have fun with you now.”

Ushijima snickered as he returned to my clit, inviting the perked bud to melt over his tongue all over again. I trembled at the combined notions, sending an arch to overwhelm my spine.

“W-Wait, Ushi–That’s too much, ‘m already so close!”

Ushijima merely nodded, my words essentially falling onto deaf ears. Electricity licked all throughout my body, sending twitches to rattle my weak legs. I couldn’t take it, Ushijima’s finger toying with my sweet spot, he was setting me on course for the high of my life. 

“W-Wakatoshi! Toshi–fuck, ‘m cumming!” I cried, my lungs grasping for what air could enter. 

Ushijima’s finger plugged itself at my core, bringing a seizing crash to break over my body. Every ounce of me held firm, shivering to bear the weight of my chased high. My hips waved against the pad of his digit, riding out the end of my ecstasy off whatever friction would be found. 

Ushijima withdrew his finger from my cunt, leaving my poor hold  bare and gaping for something else to fill me. He brought that sullied digit straight to his mouth , sucking my honey off his fingers as he gleamed over me. Sporadic breaths chimed through the sex-stained air, my chest buckling to keep up with me.

“That’s a good girl,” Ushijima cooed. “Cumming so hard for me. Look at what you did to me.” 

Ushijima stood from my legs, his hand racing to grip at his crotch. And he was right—his pants were strained thanks to his bulge, the fabric just barely holding itself together.  But what caught my attention was the bubbly mess of precum foaming through his slacks. 

“Didn’t even touch me and you made me cum, should be proud,” he chuckled.”But that’s fine, we’re even…for now.”

“And what does that mean?” I asked, shifting myself to lay along the couch. 

“Let’s find out what I mean together.”

Ushijima quickly stripped himself of his clothes coaxing me to strip of whatever clothing was left on me as well. As he removed his clothing, my eyes hinged on his bare body—taut muscles highlighted his towering frame. He’s ribbed with strength chiseled to suit his build.

A thick trail of faint brown hair from his belly button guided down to the sight resting between his legs. He’s big, cock so heavy with lust that it needed no help to rise on its own. His cock was topped by a thick, fat reddened bulb, dribbling with glossy tears. His length was tanned, adorned with veins from the poor pressure building at his core. I watched as Ushijima settled himself between my legs, his dick slapping down against my tummy.

"See? Look how deep I'm gonna go," he smirked, his hand gripped at the base of his cock.

I laid my head on the couch’s armrest, lying in wait for Ushijima's next move. 

Ushijima placed his painfully hard cock to lay within my folds, my clit smothered beneath the weight. 

“I’m gonna go slow, okay?"

I nodded as I peered down to watch Ushijima nudged at my hole with the head of his cock, slowly prying my slit to greet his girth. 

“Fuh—pretty pussy’s taking me in already. Griping me s’ fucking tight,” Ushijima seethed, his hands griping along the couch’s cushions.  

My walls supplied Ushijima’s cock with gushing kisses, fluttering about his throbbing length. He kept working to bury himself to the hilt, dipping his hips to engulf my senses with nothing but him—his scent, his ardor, his fat bulbous heat fixated on  digging out my cunt.

“Y’re so big, Toshi! Fuck, go deeper!”

“Nuh uh, “Ushijima tutted as his eyes came to a screwed shut. “Don’t be so greedy, Baby. I got you, just…—shit—feel me, okay? His honeyed voice whimpered. 

I nodded softly, watching as Ushijima’s hips finally granted my wish. I couldn’t help but squeeze him in place, my walls fluttering around him. He was just so huge, filling out every inch of my pussy like it was nothing. My lashes grew heavy from the bubbling sear of tears lining my eyes. This pain—an intoxicating stretch sent me down a spiral of, being so full like this by Ushijima was something  I was enthralled by the feeling of being so full and stretched around him. 

Ushijima took notice too as he looked down at the unfolding scene. 

“Aw look, you took every inch! ‘m s-so…proud of you,” Ushijima huffed out. 

He leaned over me, pressing his chest flush against my own, resting his forehead within the crook of my neck. He brought his world crashing into mine, the heat of our bodies melding into one. I could even sense his heartbeat, thumping a languid aria into my skin. All I wanted to do was hold him, to have this moment last for as long as we could. But considering the throbbing mess he’d been reduced to, lust reigned over all other senses.

“I’m gonna start moving,” Ushijima mumbled into my dewed skin. “Just…talk to me, Princess. Just wanna see that face when you cum for me again…so fuckin’ bad.” 

He reeled his hips back weakly, striping my walls of the salacious fill of him. He drew himself just enough to have the tip just barely slipping from out of me, only for him to stuff every inch of him to the hilt. 

“T-Toshi! Ohmygosh!” I squealed, sending my hands to brace along the thick of his forearms. 

“I-I know. ‘m sorry! H-Here, gonna kiss it all better,” Ushijima groaned, his lips sloppily crashing into mine. 

Through all this, Ushijima’s hips rocked gently, working a cadence just for me. Slow yet deep allowed the red, weeping bulb of his cock to chip away at my need for dominance. Each reel of his cock enticed my walls to ease in his care, granting him to move that much quicker. 

And within those passing moments, the quiet squelches erupted into the lewd cymbals of clashing skin breaking into the air. Ushijima drove his cock to the hilt with ease. 

The same fate befell him, his quiet and restrained grunts now morphed into quivering sobs. His lips now dressed a heavy pout, dripping with his spit and carrying his weary words.

“Keep squeezing like that ‘nd I’m gonna cum."

“M-Me too, Toshi! I’m so close!”

I perched myself onto my elbows, urgent to close the valley left to exist between our two worked bodies. 

Not a word had to fall from my lawless tongue for Ushijima to soothe my wants. He leaned in, hunching over to blur our worlds into one. His hand snaked around to brace the nape of my neck, bestowing a gentle grip over me just to keep me close. He pressed his forehead flush against my own, beads of sweat dotting my skin.

Our lips remained poised in the heat of our budding passion, catching every whimsical babble we had to each other..

I couldn’t resist smothering him in a kiss, lazily catching every moan to ring from his chest. He was working so hard on my behalf, driving himself mad, sweaty, and depleted just to please me—oh, how lucky was I?

He broke away from our messy kiss, muttering some mantra that seemed to grasp his concern more.

He retreated back onto his haunches, pinning his sights on the messy canvas he’d made of my cunt. His thumb, the pad of his digit etching loose loops over the cherried pearl. 

I reached out to brace his wrist, pulling his hand to lay atop my tummy.

“Nuh uh, don’t wanna cum like that. J-just keep—fuck! Please don’t stop!” I sobbed, rolling my ensnared hips to match Ushijima’s tempo.

“Aww cumming already? Better make a mess or else I'm not stopping til you do.”

“Ooo-oh fuck, I-I  can make a mess! Just fr’ you.”

From that pledge Ushijima and I made, a fever dream broke out over the room. A dream fueled by sinful fervor that claimed any sense Ushijima and I had down to nothing. All we had on the brain was each other, doing our own part helping each meet our peaks.

As for me, he’s rendered me dumb and drunk over his cock, feeding my sweet spot with his deliciously thick girth. Dumb hiccuping babbles were all I could muster. My plushy walls were consumed by a familiar flutter, my inevitable high teetering on the edge.

“ToshiToshi, right there! I’m gonna—!" The word trapped itself within my throat, only to be replaced by a blubbering whimper.

A spell of heat licked at every nerve in my body. My eyes were sent rolling into the back of my head as my overwhelmed body coaxed my poor ruined cunt to weep,  a burst of tears gushing  over Ushijima’s flexed abdomen.  

“Good fucking girl, making a mess just like I asked. I wanna—fuck!—'m wanna cum with you too!”

The peak of my high left me just barely conscious, my eyes heavy with the sudden heft of fatigue. Through the thick gathering of my lashes, I gawked at Ushijima, his own nirvana finally crashing down around him. 

“Oh—‘m cumming! Y/N, I'm gonna cum!”

Ushijima trembled as his rutting hips came to a stuttering halt. He frantically ripped  himself from inside of me, the roused nerves of his cock sent into a twitching frenzy. Nuzzling the bulbous head along my inner thigh, the warm tears of white painted skin, followed by a clogged groan pouring from Ushijima’s gaping mouth. 

He collapsed on top of me, his lungs desperately heaving for air. I laced my arms around him, taking my digits through his unkempt hair as he came down. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, I got you. Just relax,” I hummed softly. 

Ushijima and I lay on that couch for a while longer, neither of us ready to move. As I combed through his hair, he kept a hand on my stomach, tapping away at some tempo to soothe himself. Just a quiet, peaceful reflection of the practices he and I had done.

He was right, I don't think I'll need another lover after that. My legs were practically useless, my throat sore, and my body was still reeling from the temors of my high. Even Ushijima still shivered from time to time. That moment was something straight out of a movie, calm, quiet, and filled with a growing fondness.

To my surprise, Ushijima was the first to break the silence with a question.

“So about our date, what time works—“

“Oh! You were serious about that?!” 

Ushijima nodded, “Well…yes. I know it was an exercise but I really wanted to take you out somewhere nice. And I actually do know a place around here with a huge wine cellar.”

 My head fell into a tilt as I studied Ushijima for a second. He’s back to his regular “stoic” self but this time every feature in his face was softened—his brows, his lips, his eyes; all carried a bout of sincerity. I simply had no heart to deny him, especially now knowing what kind of man he was in the face of rapture.

“Y’know what, Ushijima,” I purred as my hand reached to cup his cheek.

“I’d like that.”

TAGS: @po3ticb3auty @dabilovesme @ebiharachan @kenmasbimbo @pixelsanji @slaughterakira @woahhajime @pulchritxde-blog @hannas16 @champagnej @shuxjodie @just-yer-average-key @bontensbabygirl @tojitsukaisen @serenareiss @dejwrld @screampied @omniuravity @sweeneyblue1 @yukihime-mikeys-girl @kazusugar @missyasma @simpliheavenli @desiray562 @sleepilysworld @lovemegood @luvrdrop @nuttyunknowndetective-blog @tojibreedingme @widepipepaladiknight @nekoriots @rainycami @tonaken @holychocopie @bloobrryktty @hon3ybee-3 @dabis0bitch @your-next-daydream @mx-luvzz @akiko0-0 @whore02 @tojianddabisslut @dana-fite @downtownbabya @littlemochi @prettiestjade @luvvvjada @keijimilk

[rawliverandgoronspice]

still a hardcore believer in the "totk was absolute development hell" theory btw, even if I know it will never be confirmed or denied, but all the signs are there honestly

[rex101111]

Things that happen within the first few hours of AC6:

1. You get shot with a huge-ass laser mid-atmosphere entry. You barely survive this, landing several miles away from your intended landing zone.  Welcome to Rubicon 3.

2. You have a mech built with bargain bin parts, barely held together with hope and spite. It has a energy sword though, so that’s nice.

3. Not even two seconds after your, very rough, landing, you get a call from your “Handler”. He is ostensibly in charge of your well-being. This begins and ends with him sending you off on missions he’s fairly certain you’ll survive and charges you for the damage you get to your mech, the bullets you use, and he’s also cut out a piece of your brain to put in augmentations that will make you a slightly better mech pilot. In the top Most Horrible People On This Planet contest, he wouldn’t make it to the top 10.

4. You make your way through a derelict hunk of junk that’s threatening to collapse on top of you. Not even two minutes into this journey, you’re getting shot at with missiles. 

5. You finally reach your intended destination, a burning husk of a city filled with scavengers and low lives who will shoot you on sight. You are here to grave rob.

6. The reason you are grave robbing is connected to the fact you got shot in orbit, you are here illegally, and you need to find a license from any fresh corpse so you can steal the identity on it and be able to do mercenary work.

7. You go through four corpses before you find one with a license that can pass muster.

8. Mid corpse robbing a gunship sent by The Space Police spots you and you have to shot it down so it can’t kill you or, even worse, stop you from stealing the identity you just found. 

9. As soon as you get registered in the Mercenary Rolodex, which takes less then a second of an A.I taking a look and saying “alright checks out”, you have two missions. One of them has you killing a bunch of resistance fighters from the planet’s native population on behalf of a weapons company that really wants to do business here. 10. The next mission has you going to a base owned by that very same company and blowing up everything you can find there. This does not anger that company one bit, if anything it just convinces them you are a very thorough worker. 11. Very shortly after that, you are tasked with destroying a prototype mech by another company before it can get into mass production. That mech is being piloted by what can only be described as an Anime Protag who is in the worst possible franchise for his type of character. You can murder him in less then two minutes if you know what you’re doing. You can hear him desperately fight for his life the entire time. 12. After that, before you even get to clean the blood and oil and broken dreams off your robot, you get a call from a merc group leader saying that he’s seen you murder that guy real good, a guy who was auditioning to join his group, and likes the cut of your jib. He gives you the callsign he was gonna give Anime Protag before you blew him the fuck up. He laughs and tells you to be careful since it’s an unlucky number. This is the least morally repugnant thing you’ll do all game.   

13. A while after that, you go into a power plant and destroy the generator, it promptly blasts you in the face with the red radioactive Super Fuel that toasted this planet a few years back.

14. You survive, somehow, and you get a disembodied voice of some girl in your ear. You tell your handler about this and he just shrugs it off with “oh yeah that’s probably a symptom of the lobotomy, don’t worry about it”. The voice is probably the most moral person on this fire blasted hell scape of a planet.

[aimportantdragoncollector]

For the ask game, AU where Izuku is low key embarrassed of his uncle because he is so beautiful he keeps accidentally seducing everyone he meets, please. (Yoichi reserves the not accidental seduction for his husbands.)

Heh I love this one:

1. Hisashi and Inko are business partners who often travel for work, so they leave Izuku to stay with his three uncles: Yoichi, Second (Kaiji), and Third (Sanzou). Izuku doesn't mind because he loves his uncles, but man does he ever hate going outside with Uncle Yoichi. Because it's nothing but trouble! Every time they go out, Yoichi gets approached by modeling agents, every shop gives them discounts, and people take pictures in public. To Izuku's great annoyance, people keep mistaking his uncle for his older brother. Furthermore, Yoichi attracts every train molester, flasher, stalker, and kidnapper. Izuku carries a taser to handle all of them. He's appointed himself as bodyguard because he believes that his air-headed, beautiful uncle is way too clueless, defenseless, and prone to giving people the benefit of the doubt.

2. Over the years, Izuku has developed an itchy trigger finger with the taser and a policy of preemptive strikes towards anyone who looks at Yoichi wrong. Izuku has been capturing perverts and taking them to the police since elementary school. In middle school he tasered Re-Destro from behind for trying to kidnap his uncle (without knowing who he was). Izuku got a medal for taking down such a dangerous villain.

3. Izuku also dislikes how everyone treats him differently after meeting his uncle. He's dealt with bullying issues in the past because of his quirklessness. But as soon as they lay eyes on his uncle, his teachers rush to favor him and even the other kids try to befriend him to have an excuse to come over to his house and gawk. Izuku hates the fakeness even more than the bullying.

4. Katsuki Bakugo is the first person Izuku ever met who didn't go gah-gah over his uncle and Izuku really appreciates how Katsuki doesn't treat him any differently. (Katsuki is not immune, he's just too stubborn to show it. As a result, he tries to avoid Izuku and whatever weirdness is going on around him.) In this AU, Katsuki's bullying got cut off very early on because all of Izuku's teachers intensely favor him. In fact, Izuku's teachers make excuses to come over to his house for frequent parent-teacher conferences specifically during the times when he lives with his uncles. It annoys Izuku that Yoichi does not seem to realize these conferences are unnecessary and can happily talk about his cute nephew all day.

5. Yoichi constantly causes gay/bisexual awakenings in everyone he meets, including women who discover they like women after meeting him. Don't question how that works.

6. Izuku also hates how when he goes out in public with all three of his uncles, people whisper behind their backs about how Kaiji and Sanzou aren't handsome enough for Yoichi. Strangers are disrespectful enough to hit on Yoichi in front of his partners and tell him that he could do better. Kaiji and Sanzou are very secure and just laugh it off. Izuku "accidentally" tasers the rudest ones.

7. Izuku's also embarrassed because Uncle Yoichi dotes on him in public, which attracts attention to him. A lot of suitors see playing nice with Izuku as their "in" with Yoichi or think they will impress Yoichi by showing off how good they are with kids.

8. On the bright side, Yoichi gets lots of hero autographs for Izuku. (Any autograph Izuku wants, including villain autographs.) Izuku assumes that this is because even people in the hero industry can't resist his uncle's smile. He's right, but he doesn't know the whole story.

9. Yoichi is a famous villain. All the heroes and villains alike are infatuated with his alter ego. In this AU, Izuku's entire family is full of villains: Inko is a villain and All for One's business partner, which is why she goes away with her husband on business trips frequently. Kaiji and Sanzou are also villains. Izuku has no idea.

10. Izuku also doesn't know that his uncles ruined lives of everyone who bullied him in past. The perverts who get tasered by Izuku are the lucky ones. You don’t want to know what Yoichi does to perverts who harass him when he’s out alone.

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley is Neige’s Father Theory (+ actual Neige backstory speculation)

You know, I was planning to make this an April Fools theory. I remember finding this headcanon about a year ago, and I’ve always thought it was a funny and cute headcanon to think about.

BUT THEN my hubby @snakevsnis utterly insulted my dignity and pride (kindly said the theory was my most outlandish yet) and I’ve decided to take this seriously. Not playing games anymore, I will collect every bit of flimsy evidence for this ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

This all started out when I saw a closeup of Neige’s eyes to be honest haha 🤣🤣🤣 Why do they look like that?! What’s with that odd glow? All the characters eyes, especially in card art, are quite striking. But I’ve noticed that Fae eyes in particular have a tendency for a stronger glow or just overall more detailed eyes.

But anyway: dark hair, pale skin (this can apply to half the cast but SHH let me be annoying ahxhdbs) If you want to consider Disney’s Snow White, she has “lips red as the rose, hair black as ebony, and skin white as snow”, which we can keep in mind in terms of similarities🤪

People have always mentioned Crowley’s strange connections to Pomefiore and the Evil Queen- perhaps suggesting that he is twisted from the Evil Queen’s crow. Perhaps this, OR THIS IS ALL ACTUALLY A CONNECTION TO NEIGE.

The courtyard apple trees, the mirrors, the wishing well. Aside from the mirrors, all of these feel very reminiscent of Snow White, NOT the Evil Queen. The wishing well was indeed part of the Evil Queen’s castle, but it is Snow White who sings to it to make her wish. Crowley is very protective of the apple trees as well, and seems to honor them greatly. Neige’s first introduction through the commercial LITERALLY has the apple trees in the background as well!!

We also cannot forget his stupid vacation outfit (affectionate), which depicts a crow resting on an apple, and the background is riddled with flowers that look suspiciously like the ones from Snow White’s grave. And now with this uniquely yellow fit that no one expected Crowley to wear, Crowley technically shares the same exact color scheme that Neige (and this Snow White) does: yellow, blue, and red. In his vacation outfit, Crowley even ditches black as his main color and wears white instead.

Because what’s interesting about the Evil Queen’s crow is that the crow does not play a prominent role like Maleficent’s Diablo does. In fact, the crow almost seems afraid of the Evil Queen’s plans, shying away from the apple and afraid of her wicked transformations. In Twisted Wonderland terms, couldn’t that partially make Crowley more sympathetic towards Neige?

I also think it’s funny that Neige probably has the closest reference to a Disney character name, because “Neige” means Snow, and “Blanche” means White in French.His name literally translates to Snow White, and OF COURSE Crowley would name a child so directly after one of these historical figures 😭😭😭

And here’s where my theory gets even more crackish AJDNHDE, but when Crowley transforms into a ghost in the prologue, he notable has the cape of the ghosts in the Dwarfs Mine. The Dwarfs Mine we visited in the prologue is NOT the actual one used in Snow White- instead being a very convincing replica in honor to the Fairest Queen. But even so, there is a cottage that’s exactly the same as the dwarves cottage in Snow White. The ghosts from the prologue say that Ace, Deuce, and Yuu are the first visitors in “ten years.”

Ten years? Neige is around 17 or 18 years old, and his vague backstory heavily implies he’s been abandoned from his birth parents since a young age. So what if- hear me out- Neige for some reason was left behind in the Dwarfs Mine area when he was around 6 or 7 years old, entrusted to the ghosts before he met with his RSA dwarves?!

But let’s also take an actually serious look in Neige’s backstory. Neige’s backstory is shockingly vague, despite being the rival for Vil in Book 5. Book 6 seems to imply that Rook and Vil know more about what Neige went through, but it’s strangely cut off.

Neige has apparently been living with the dwarves and taking care of themselves on their own since a young age. We don’t know yet how dwarves age in Twisted Wonderland- Yuu remarks that they resemble Fae because of their pointed ears, and they may indeed be a type of a Fae. But even if they had the lifespan of Fae like Lilia, the dwarves are also school-age kids. And considering the lack of knowledge regarding Fae in TWST society in general, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were discriminatory laws preventing the dwarves being considered actual adults even if they were far older. The VDC competition shows how all the human audiences consider the dwarves to be cute children- likely even elementary-aged children.

I feel like this further validates the idea that Neige and the dwarves actually lived in the abandoned cottage in the Dwarves Mine- since it was a completely abandoned area, they were able to take the space without worrying over their young ages. The cottage looked abandoned in both Vargas Camp and the prologue because Neige and the dwarves are currently living at RSA. Additionally, in the Book 5 trailer, there were interesting shots of Neige and the dwarves at a bridge, a bench, and a forest. It felt overall very reminiscent of the cottage we see at the Dwarves Mine, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Neige and his friends actually occupied this space before

But with this in mind, how DID Neige secure a filming job or even attend the same middle school as Neige if he had no parental guardians or adult assistance in the first place? Again, I highly doubt that humans would ever seriously consider the dwarves to be Neige’s guardian on the small chance they’re older than Neige, for the same discriminatory implications that I mentioned above.

If Crowley was Neige’s father, I’m sure he managed to pull some strings in the background even if Neige was left behind for some unknown reason. Much like Diaval in the live-action Maleficent, Neige was essentially the Aurora that Crowley was taking care of from afar. Going back to Crowley’s vacation outfit, the crow resting on the apple reminds me a lot of Diaval in his bird form looking over Aurora in her cradle. I’m sure Neige has strong magic power of his own, but I find it interesting that he ended up at RSA despite most of his focus growing up was between his job and chores at home. Perhaps Crowley couldn’t get him into NRC, but did put in a good word for him with Ambrose and eased the application process for Neige

I also feel like Neige would indeed have stronger magic BECAUSE he’d be half-Fae like Sebek. His glowing eyes is the only physical indicator of his Fae heritage, but he also has the magic to boost.

And the most unserious note to wrap up this crack theory, they even have a similar taste in shoes because what is this 😭😭😭

This is all to say that I um. May or may not have been working on a chaptered fic for a long while now based on this premise of Crowley being Neige’s father so 😭😭😭 yeah. Um. Look forward to or dread that 🤣🤣🤣

(I will steal your kitchen sink if anyone says this is more convincing from my also crack Malleus and Crowley theories PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣 /j)

[flusteredtuna]

YES, CHEF!

Carmen Berzzato“The Bear” x !fem! reader

Contains: ( 18+ Mature Only ) praise, first kiss, head, and x-men movie.

Words: 2k+

Summary: Carmen, a good friend, shows up unexpectedly at your door late at night. Tipsy. And things obviously take a turn as he sobers up and you learn the true nature of his visit. ( no under the influence… do not fret )

I used a scene from Netflix’s series ‘Good Girls’ season 4 episode 6, as a main plot point and used the begging dialogue. I won’t name the scene as to not spoil the show ( it’s not a big plot point and the fanfic does not spoil it either. ) you can watch the clip here.

This was written for a friend 💕 ( and i had to repost due to an error ) This is also the second fan-fiction I have ever completed, so enjoy.

It’s a relaxing Saturday evening in your quaint charming little apartment on the third floor. Warm lighting, antique cabinet, quilted blanket covering your lap, and a warm homemade mug of Earl Grey tea in your hand as you read your book.

knock. knock. KNOCK.

A heavy and lazy hand knocks on your landlord’s special white front door. It’s 10 p.m., who could be knocking on the door? You un-tuck yourself from your spot on the couch and with tea in hand, you head toward the door and open it.

It’s Carmen. You’ve been friends for about a year now, friends with feelings for half that time. You met through a mutual friend, one who works at his restaurant. The relationship between you two is close and has only gotten closer with having the same friend group. But even with the tension in the room during every group hangout, he’s never made a move. And neither have you. Maybe it’s because of his girlfriend. Who didn’t show up to game nights.

And yet here he is, making an unexpected visit to your apartment.

“This isn’t my house,” he says. He smells of beer and is definitely not sober. Both his arms hold his body up as he leans in your doorframe.

“Hey yourself…” your face is twisted with confusion. Carmy never came over, at least not by himself. “Are you…tipsy? Fried? any other word for not sober?” You try to figure him out enough to make him go away before it turns into something else.

He chuckles a bit, “Just a bit buzzed”.

“Why are you in my doorway, Carmen?” You lean against the open door.

“I was at the bar, with friends. Karaoke bar.” He huffs as he finishes his sentence which seems hard to get out of his mouth.

“I don’t even know who to feel sorry for there” you respond. A look of worry mixed in with your confusion.

You stare at each other for what feels like the longest five seconds of your life. His mouth hung open a little.

“I can’t be with her anymore” You wince at his words and your heart drops to your toes. Did he just say that? Has he told her?

“You should go home,” trying to prevent something from progressing.

“I don’t want to go home” he quickly responds

“Then you should go somewhere else” You grab the door leaning away, ready to close it on him. Although you don’t want to, you know you should.

“Can I uh- just please come in?” Starting to close the door he pushes back a bit “No, Carmy. Please trust me, just go home.” He places a firm hand on the door and abruptly says, “I think I’m gonna crap myself.”

You stop and look at him. It’s unbelievable that this is what made you stop. You swing the door open and do the same with your other arm, gesturing to him to enter. He walks in, and heads for the bathroom.

Setting your tea down you sit on the couch waiting for him to come back, you try to think of anything else other than the fact that Carmen is in your home. Possibly with the intention of cheating on his girlfriend with you. Attempting to stare at the patchy rug to find some sort of escape. The goal now was to just make sure he didn’t do anything crass.

He walks out of the bathroom and immediately slumps himself on the floor against the couch right next to you. “I wouldn’t go in there for at least 30 minutes.”

Raising your brows and giggling, “Feeling any better?”

Carmen doesn’t even look at you, he just looks straight on. “Not really.” He rubs his hands together.

“I broke up with Sarah.” He says quietly. Yet another string of words that makes your heart drop.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You try to be reassuring but you’re not sure how to be in this situation. “Do you want to talk about it?” Carmen looks at you, his eyes glossy from his buzz.

“Nah.” You tilt your head at him and then look over at the TV, catching the slight reflection of your two figures lounging on the comfy yellow couch. “Do you want to watch something?”

Carmen’s nods face towards the black screen of the TV, and you reach for the remote to turn something on. “X-men?” you suggest as he gets up and sits on the other end of the couch. One person’s width away from you.

“X-Men it is.” He slurs his words a bit as he gestures to the TV with a hand and flops it back down in his lap. Turning on the movie, you make yourself comfortable by shifting your legs to bend and your feet resting on the middle cushion, pulling the blanket over you. Even with him sitting glued to the arm of the other end, you both are still somehow too close.

As the movie passes, the tension stands. Seeing each other glancing out of the corner of their eyes now and then doesn’t help. Finally, Carmey opens up a bit and starts to comment on the movie, “You know, I don’t know why they cast Evan Peters for this when he plays that other guy in that Wanda show. Fuckin’ stupid.” He sounds more like himself now, which eases the tension, making this situation a little more comfortable.

“Yeah I think there’s a theory about that,” You both continue to talk throughout the movie, he seems to sober up. It’s nice hanging out with him like this. Although the circumstances aren’t 100% preferred, you don’t seem to mind it anymore.

The movie ended with you both laughing at a conversation completely unrelated. Whatever it was it was something way more entertaining to both of you. So long of a conversation that the credits end. You both look over to the screen again. A prompt asking “How would you rate this film?”.

“Well, I guess it ended.” You chuckle a bit but look over at him, seemingly back in his head again. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that.

Now sitting up against the arm of the couch and crossing your legs, you feel like you should say something.

“You know the best wa-“ he interrupts you “I broke up with her so I could see you.”

Your eyes meet as he looks over to you, now sitting up a bit more. “Carmy I-“ interrupting you again “Y/N, I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything. I know this is a lot,” he puts a hand to his temple and starts to get a little more passionate in his speech. Almost defensive. “Shit. I just couldn’t see you without leaving and not feel fuckin’ guilty!” His hand gestures around as he speaks, like he’s in the kitchen talking to his staff.

“Carmen!” You try to steer the conversation away from him getting louder, “Why would you feel guilty?” You know the answer to that.

He rests a hand on his lap and his other on his temple again. Releasing a deep exhale, he looks at you. “Maybe I wanted to uh-,” he hesitates for a moment to look you up and down. “Feel something…else.”

You can feel the flush rushing to your cheeks so quickly after he says this. With wide eyes and raised brows, you try to pull out your best response, “Feel what? Pressed about…Marvel casting?”

He chuckles and moves a smidge towards you, putting a bent leg up on the couch, “No no no. no. Jesus. That, that’s ridiculous.” You smile a bit at his amusement, “Then what is it, Carmy?”

Rubbing his face and letting out another huff, he sounds like he’s holding back. And you aren’t sure if you want him to keep it bottled or release it.

Continuing to look at you with starry eyes, he rests an arm on the back of the couch. “Fuck. Look. I don’t want to be too forward and I definitely don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” You press your lips together in anticipation of what he’s about to say, “It’s something that I’ve felt for a while and I’ve been fucking ignoring it.” He pauses again and takes another huff, taking a look at the door. “I should just go.”

As he gets up you grab his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Carmy,” his eyes soften as he looks at you, “you don’t need to leave.”

As you let go of his wrist he sits next to you, closer. “It’s kind of obvious.” You chuckle a bit through your words. It is obvious. You’ve noticed this tension for a while now, he’s only just confirming it.

“What is? That I like you?” His tone is almost defensive like he was caught. A smile creeps on your face, “I mean…Marcus has noticed it too.” He raises his brows, surprised. “He said the tension is thicker than his dark chocolate mousse.” Carmen laughs at this, and so do you. It’s a sweet moment.

He pushes his hair back from falling more in his face, “I uh, I’m sorry I showed up like this.”

“If you mean showing up drunk at my door to use my bathroom and then sobering up while watching X-men with me…” You make it sound like a bigger deal than it is just to tease him.

“No yea, shit. I’m sorry I-”

“Then it’s more than fine.” Laughing again, like you are the only two people in the world. You both exchange a smile looking deeper into each other’s eyes.

“You’ve always had a nice laugh.” He says putting his arm back on the couch, and leaning in a bit.

“You do too.” It all feels like a dream. The fact that he’s here, making a move on you.

He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, so effortlessly, that you wish you could stay in that moment forever.

You look away for a moment, clearly a bit flustered, “Are you sure you aren’t still tipsy?” turning back you notice he’s gotten a little closer.

“I’m positive I’m sober.” He chuckles again.

You start to lean in a bit, not realizing that you have until your noses are about five inches apart from one another. His hand was still near your face, resting on the back of the couch beside you.

Looking at your lips he begins to say, “I uh. Just-”. He doesn’t even finish his thought. He’s too distracted by his lips on yours.

It was a soft kiss, one you’ve been waiting for, for the longest time. Pulling back you find his hand on your cheek caressing it. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He says, with a breath of relief that the hard part was over.

Jaw dropped, you look at his mouth again. He catches this and charges at you for another kiss, this time more intense. You hold both of his cheeks in hopes of him staying put. He almost hovers over you as you both continue to make out.

Soft and quiet moans escape your mouth as he reaches down one of his hands to feel the sides of your arms. Then tracing back up to your cheek. He pulls back. Your lips burn with sensation.

“Carmen,” the words escape your mouth through heavy breathing, “are you sure this is okay.”

He puts a hand to your chin, “Yes.” he kisses your cheek. “I wanna take care of you.” Your brain swarms with ideas of what he could mean.

You smile in approval while taking his free hand and putting it to your breast. He smirks as he follows his hand and where it landed. “Then take care of me.”

With a firm squeeze, he touches you through your shirt, while he moves his face towards your neck and kisses it. He takes his time reaching under your shirt to explore you with more satisfaction.

Caressing your nipple with his pointer and his thumb, already making you weak. And he watches as your face curls in pleasure.

Carmen then lifts your shirt to sit just above your breasts and kisses the center, making his way over the hill of your other breast and biting the peak. It makes you gasp. He puts a hand under the curve of your other breast and messages it.

Your soft moans only make him want you more.

He moves away for a moment, and you open your eyes to watch him, “wha- what is it.” He smirks and lifts the blanket you’re under, just enough to reach his arm in to place a hand on the side of your thigh. Scooting closer he leans over you now slouched on the couch.

Suddenly you’re kissing again, passionately. He feels your thigh up and down gripping it, then moving to the inside. Parting your legs he reaches a hand up from the bottom of your shorts, under your panties to grab your hip. Like it’s his. Then firmly and slowly sliding it back out.

“Take… them off.” You whisper through kisses. Pulling away he smiles and looks at your drowsy eyes. Without saying anything he lifts the blanket further and now using both his hands he tugs on your waistband, taking away the sleep boxers you had been wearing.

Touching you again in that spot that’s so sensitive, he teases you. Denying the pleasure of having the fabric between you and his fingers, out of the way. Your moans continue, still soft, as he caresses you further. The intensity builds as your lips meet again.

Backing away, he lifts the blanket once more, but now going in head first. Your heart drops, you know exactly what he has in mind.

With his head between your thighs he kisses your soft spot, and then taking both his hands on either side of your drawers, he pulls them off revealing you.

Carmen uses his fingers to carefully open you up like a flower, kissing the bud. He’s so gentle that you do feel like you’re being taken care of.

But then you suddenly feel another sensation. His tongue is on you. Swirling around. It makes you moan louder as your back arches. Ribs reaching for the sky. You grab onto the couch to try and ground yourself, but it doesn’t help much.

“You’re so wet for me.” He feasts upon you and now takes two of his fingers and plays with your entrance, spreading your wetness around like butter on a hot skillet. His free arm is wrapped around your thigh, holding on tight to keep you steady.

As he tastes you more and more. The finest dish. You lift your end of the blanket with the small strength you have and watch his head back away from your clit to look at you as he puts two fingers inside you. He starts to push them in and out of you and you throw your head back moaning in absolute hot delight.

“Look at me.” His demand is so dominating. Again, sounding like he’s in the kitchen.

“Make me.” You say through a heavy moan. He pulls his fingers out making you gasp grabbing your chin and pulling your face down to meet his eyes. “Yes, Chef”. He chuckles a bit, letting you get away with that one. You knew he might be thinking about that during his next shift.

You watch as he goes back down, shoving his fingers back inside. Gripping the couch once again louder moans escape your mouth. Picking up his pace you can feel him hitting your walls in the best way. “Fuck, Carmy…” You manage to moan out.

The closer you get the more you surrender to his pace as it gets faster. Your body clenches around him, making it tighter and tighter for him. “Cum for me.”

You nod your head rapidly as you’re too stimulated by the pleasure. Your back arches even further and you become stiff in your position as he hits the spot so perfectly. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The peak of your gratification inches closer and closer.

Finally…you gasp in ecstasy, his fingers still inside you pounding. “That’s it.” He whispers moving away from eating you out, to just using his fingers. Watching you as you finish on them.

Carmen pulls his fingers out slowly, watching your overstimulated body heave heavy breaths. He scoots your legs to the side to lie beside you on the couch. Between catching up with your lungs you manage to speak. “Carmen, you…” You take a clarifying breath as he props himself up on his arm, looking at you as he lays beside you. “You’re really good at that.”

He chuckles, “Of course I am, I eat for a living.” He tucks your hair away behind your ear, and you both take a moment to be present as your tummy buzzes with butterflies.

[bbanghiitomi]

| love is a place to hide

synopsis: with social anxiety and a reserved girl, you're usually seen alone or with a few other students around — everyone knows your name but doesn't know you, except for minji.

— nonidol!softballplayer!kminji × nonidol!loner!fem!reader

┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌┐⁠(⁠´⁠д

popular loner, that's what most people in your high school call you. everyone knows your name but none of those people have ever been your friend, nor have they ever talked to you before. most of those people who know you are not even familiar to you, you don't understand where this popularity came from and it's creeping you out.

you have one friend, kang haerin. she's just as much of a loner as you are, except she has loyal friends.

meanwhile you only have haerin, and refuse to make friends with people other than her — haerin kind of gets along with other people too, but you find it hard to do so. you have no active social media accounts, your chats are dead and if your socials were a place, it would be covered with cobwebs the way they are abandoned.

you've never changed profile pictures, they've been that same picture of you when you were… 10 years old.

it's like you're dead but technically you aren't, literally.

there's this one person, an exception — she's not a friend nor she's a stranger. her name is kim minji. you've known her since the first year of middle school. you both met during the school orientation, where you were checking out the class lists for that year.

you remember it vividly, you sat alone at a bench and saw her approaching, you continued to ignore her presence while you continued tapping on your nintendo 3ds that you modded yourself. you were playing animal crossing, something that you found to be your new catalyst to kill time when you're bored.

you remember how enthusiastic she was talking about animal crossing, even though you weren't replying to her words. she was persistent in making you her friend but it was taking a bit too long for you to warm up to her.

you found out she was going to be your classmate, it was the day where you saw her sitting right behind you. in just a span of a week, she already made a few friends, and one of them was haerin. you stayed alone, casually conversing with haerin and sometimes a few other students, where it all ended up with you leaving because you drained your social battery.

minji was known for playing softball, she played for the local district's team and would often travel from city to city to play. she's incredible, a lot of people say — she's made a name and was inside everyone's mind, including her rivals'.

you've never watched any of her games, even if she kept inviting you — you tried one time but it all ended up with you going home after a small anxiety attack due to the amount of people watching. the cramped space scared you.

now first year college, most of your schoolmates who knew you before were in the same university as you and minji, you still carried that nickname of yours and minji carried that popularity of hers. she now plays for the university's varsity team.

even after 6 years of her nagging you, she still kept going. you don't understand why, what's with all this nonsense? why does she keep trying even if you've pushed her away thousands of times?

besides, there's hundreds of girls and boys lining up to be with her.

have you even mentioned the fact she's never been in a relationship before? that's how crazy she is, with how many confessions she's gotten none of them convinced her that they were better than you.

"hey y/n, we have training later at 5pm, you want to watch?" it's currently 4pm, and you're heading to the library to catch some work for the librarian — you promised the old lady you'll help arrange some books because the other kids have messed the shelves up.

and now minji is once again trailing behind you, asking you again if you have plans to see her later when she for sure already knows your answer. you turn around to give her a stoic expression, your eyes bore against her round ones.

"no, i have some errands at the library and it's probably going to take me a few hours. i'm sure you'll be fine without me, yeah?" you tell her. minji looks around the hallway and shrugs, a pout evident on her lips. "i mean, your presence could definitely help me." she then flashes you her signature grin, that would probably send an ordinary girl in an orbit.

you feel your cheeks flush but then you shake your head, you are no different to those girls. "you have plenty of girls to do that for you." you respond almost immediately. minji sighs and slump her broad shoulders, before watching you walk your way out of the scene. hiding your almost ripe tomato-like face.

minji scratches her head and looks somewhere else to try and hide the disappointment in her face. another day of getting a no from you.

truth to be told, if it wasn't obvious yet.

minji likes you, loves you even at this point the way she's been pursuing you ever since the first year of middle school. even if she looked crazy, insane, and stupid, she kept running towards you no matter how many times you've pushed her away. there's no other coherent explanation for her actions other than the fact that she's in love. it may seem annoying, but there's no other way for minji to show you her persistence and perseverance other than to reach out for you.

minji loves your wit, honesty, kindness and your hot-headed personality, though most people call you mean and rude, you're actually quite the difference! it's just your face that seems uninterested most of the time, your voice that seems unwavering, brave and icy. you're the prettiest girl in her eyes, no matter what you tell yourself — in fact, she remembers the day she realized her feelings for you.

it may sound stupid but it was during a debate at your classroom in middle school, it was one of those stupid questions the teacher asks and then will group the kids into two groups to let them argue.

the question was: what came first? the chicken or the egg?

oh how you hated this question so much, it kept being asked no matter how stupid the question sounded to any sane person's ears.

your team chose eggs and minji's team chose chickens — minji didn't spare any saliva to even try arguing, she sat on her chair as she watched the other members argue.

you on the other hand sat too, but annoyed.

it's already bugging you how long it took to argue about chicken and eggs, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

you stood up and spoke. "this is so easy, everyone knows it's eggs. the chickens have only been on the face of earth for just around 10,000 years and chickens came from reptiles. even before chickens existed, the dinosaurs and reptiles were already hatching eggs. as animals were evolving the eggs they hatch evolved too until one day it cracked open and a chick came out and grew into a chicken." everyone was quiet and for a few moments you remembered you were surrounded by idiots and kids.

claps from minji all surprised everyone, mostly her teammates.

"minji! why are you clapping for them!?" minji even stood up and grinned at you, still clapping her rather large hands, the sound echoing the room. your teammates started clapping too and cheered.

ever since that day your teachers were encouraging you to join the debate teams, and minji started following you around and trying to get close to you.

to this day, you're still active at the debate team of your university and minji is still following you around the campus. truth to be told, you're not mad she does that, you won't say it to her face but her presence kept you safe, guarded and cared for.

there are a lot of reasons as to why minji likes you, listing them all would probably take her a week.

"hey y/n, is minji bothering you? is she doing too much? does it creep you out?" you look at your friend, haerin. you flip a book and tilt your head to her question.

"why'd you ask?" you ask back. haerin shakes her head and laughs. "uhm, clearly — everyone is noticing how minji has been following you around, since middle school. most people say you look uncomfortable when she talks to you, and of course i can't ask her about it because she probably doesn't realize it." haerin tells you, smiling sweetly. you can see her eyes are lace with worry, she's concerned for your well being and as well minji's reputation, it seems like some people in the campus are starting rumors about her being a creep.

you furrow your brows and shift your gaze around until you spot the window, the window shows a great view of the field, through the glass pane you see minji running around the field.

you look back at haerin and shake your head. "if anything, to be honest — i don't mind it at all, as you said she's been doing that since middle school and i got used to it. i'm not uncomfortable or anything, this is just how i look everyday." you tell haerin in a calm tone, because really? minji's doing that with no bad intentions, she's sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly even if she sends a softball flying at the speed of 110kmph like it's her everyday routine.

but no kidding, minji is so thoughtful, always have been.

when you were always alone, she'd stand by a few meters away to make sure you won't ever feel lonely. that one time during a field trip in high school, you were alone walking at an aquarium, minji spotted you and decided it was the best time to leave her friends and run towards you. your eyes are glued to the marine life inside the thick glass filled with water, the blue shade of the room illuminated on your face, your eyes shine under the dim lights. minji carefully stood beside you and stared at the aquarium too.

"hey, remember when our teacher asked if prokaryotic cells are better than eukaryotic cells?" she asked, all of a sudden. you looked at her and raised your brows, there's no expression written on your face. but alas, you still gave her an answer. "yes, why?"

minji smiled and tried to contain her face from blushing. "ah, what do you think is the answer?"

you blinked as you looked back at the tank. "i personally think prokaryotic cells are much superior, they evolved and became eukaryotic cells so without them there are probably no eukaryotic cells. plus, it's true that eukaryotic cells are much more complex but really — there are more prokaryotic cells that can survive under the deepest parts of ocean no matter how strong the pressure is, the hottest surfaces, feeding with almost nothing but still thriving while lacking parts that eukaryotic cells have, that something eukaryotic cells couldn't possibly do. but really, i think it depends on who you ask." you finished with a look on minji's face, only to see her staring at you with her lips open.

you furrowed your eyebrows at her and looked away, feeling embarrassed and flattered.

"wow! that's why you're the ace of the debate team!" minji said as she laughed.

that simple interaction made your day better, a whole lot better. and for some reason, it was only minji who had the power to do that.

you realize that the rumors must be weighing a lot more, more than you expected. you hear whispers from other students from other courses, talking about the mvp of the university's softball team being a creep. and others were saying that it must be because you're giving minji a hard time.

it's starting to worry you whether it reached minji, so you decide to give her a visit to the field when she didn't invite you for today.

you spot her from afar, there's still lots of students around. she seems serious and is giving her best at today's training. you hear some girls gossiping behind you.

"oh is that y/n?" one of them says.

"shit it's actually her? she decided to finally visit minji?"

"after minji's 1000th invitation. i've never seen her here."

"she probably realized minji's potential."

"it's probably better if she just minded her own business."

you sigh as you walk away.

right after their training you wait outside the locker room for everyone in the team to leave except for minji. you spare the surrounding a glance before entering the locker room.

the locker room… is what you expected a locker room to look like. it's not exactly the cleanest place in the campus, there are clothes hanging by the lockers, and shoes on the benches. luckily, the place didn't seem to smell bad, but the smell of mixed perfumes of different kinds wafted around.

"minji?" you call out, walking past lockers, getting to the farthest part of the place and eventually stopping at exactly minji's locker. you stand still as silence surrounds you, you wonder if you didn't notice minji exiting and if there are still anyone around. "kim minji." you call one more time, your tone sounding more like a command for her to come out.

you hear shufflings just behind a locker and you stretch your neck to take a peek.

"hey y/n!" you gasp as you were surprised by minji's sudden entrance. she has just showered and her hair is wet, wearing newly washed clothes she wraps a towel around her neck and smiles at you. you sigh and place a hand on your chest. "you surprised me." you hiss at her.

minji chuckles and scratches her temple. "sorry i got too excited, what brought you here? did you watch me earlier? why didn't you tell me? i didn't invite you because i thought you were mad at me." you stare at minji before shaking your head and clearing your throat. "no, i'm not mad. i came to wait for you to finish your practice because i have got something to tell you." you look at minji's round eyes, she leans closer to you causing you to step back a bit — your back almost touching the locker behind you.

"u-uh, it's about — i heard that people were spreading malicious rumors about you. and i was worried it would reach you." you see her smiling at you. there's almost a small gap between her face and yours, you can almost feel her breath fanning over you.

"wait really? i thought you didn't want me around you? haerin asked me to not follow you around every single day. so i thought i've done too much, are you really okay with it? is it really okay? i mean, if you don't like it, i'll stop. i don't like botheri—" you put your hands up to her shoulders when your back touches the hard surface of the locker. she closes the gap as she speaks, too absorbed by the idea that you're worried for her sake to even think rationally.

"w-wait! minji! it's okay… i'm okay. we're okay." you whisper. minji's eyes lock with yours, with only a few inches separating you and minji, you can feel her heartbeat thumping inside your ears along with yours. "we're okay?" she asks. you nod and smile at her.

the small moment gets ruined as a bench falls over along with a metal tumbler causing you and minji to be taken back. you gently push minji away to step over and try to look for who might have knocked it.

minji puts a hand on your shoulder. "hey, i'll accompany you to your house." you feel a sudden wave of anxiety twisting your stomach into a knot, realizing it should be impossible for the bench to be knocked over by just a gust of wind.

but you nod at minji, watching her take her bag.

the next day, haerin immediately finds you after one of your lectures. "y/n what happened yesterday!?" she aggressively whispers, a hand on your wrist as she locks you down with her piece glare. you give her a confused look, struggling with her tight hold. "wait a minute haerin, what's the problem?" you ask her.

she sighs heavily and looks around, you notice everyone staring you down and people grouped into pairs or more would often share a whisper. "y/n — " haerin cuts herself off to pull her phone from her bag.

she holds it up for you to see and sure enough, it shows a part of the university's journalism organization blog. and as you look at the headline, the first sentence of the article and the picture of you and minji inside the locker room, you ask yourself.

is this even allowed?

you feel your stomach sink in, your heart clenches in fear. why is everyone making it seem like minji was harassing you?

the truth has been completely twisted around and has been passed around by students in just a matter of hours.

you find yourself hiding inside the library, curled on a ball, your back leaning on one of the shelves — hugging your knee close to you.

there's just no way you can do anything about it.

you pull your phone from your breast pocket to send minji a message.

minji :|

minji

what are we going to do?

im scared

sent.

minji walks down the halls of the building, with a deep frown on her face. she's currently on the hunt for the president of the journalism organization — though that person is years older than her, she's not afraid to take that shit on. students stare her down as minji struts her way to the room where journalism members are gathered. she stands in front of the door and knocks violently with her large hand, causing people walking by to be taken back. "you assholes! open this door!" minji shouts, her voice echoing in the corridor.

the door opens violently to an angry guy, only to be left in shock when he realizes it's none other than the kim minji outside their room. minji barges inside and surprises half of the people in the room. "you!" she points towards a girl standing by the end of the room

the girl seems to realize what's happening and tries to hide behind another girl.

"why did you publish that bullshit article!?" minji shouts, causing everyone to panic. the president of the organization stands up and walks towards minji to try and man up. "we have the right to do so! why? are you mad that we're telling the truth!?"

minji turns her head to the president and aggressively pulls on the poor guy's collar and points at the girls named eunchae and kyujin. "you too! those little minions of yours are spreading lies about y/n and they're literally stalking both of us!" eunchae pushes kyujin and uses the other girl to shield herself. "w-what!? you know that's some strong accusations right!? plus — you are stalking y/n on a daily basis!" minji's slender fingers grip the fabric's collar hard, swinging the guy closer.

"listen here you idiot, what me and y/n do is none of your business, okay? if you don't delete that article off of your blog and apologize to y/n i'll smash your skull on this table." minji brings the president closer to the edge of the table, the two younger girls both bow their heads in unison a couple times as they apologize.

"we're so sorry! we really didn't think it through! we only did that because the organization has a mandatory quota for articles we had to follow." eunchae didn't stop bowing her head, minji glared at the president with a deep frown, the edges of her thick brows almost touching due to how mad minji was. the tall girl shoves the guy away and walks out of the room to look for you.

you stay sitting on the floor of the library, hiding behind shelves of books, in the darkness and silence you find comfort.

you hear faint footsteps but you choose to ignore them, until you look up from the familiar shoes and see minji looking down on you. "hey y/n, everything's alright now." she tells you, before crouching down, wearing her team jersey and her pants. you stare at her before she smiles at you and scoots beside you. "i knew you'd be here." minji whispers, her finger touches yours as she puts her hands on the cold floor. you give her a small smile before sighing.

minji always knew you liked to hide when you're upset.

"it's okay now, i made sure it's never going to happen again. i'm sorry you got dragged down the mud with me." minji continues, laughing. you shake your head. "thanks, it's okay. i just got scared." well, if you were to be honest, you were more than scared — you feared for minji of all, there was no way she's going to lose it all just because people lied about her to feed people's delusions.

"i know, trust me, i'll do anything to make sure no one messes with you ever again." minji gives you a cheeky grin and hooks her arm to your torso to keep you close to her. the warmth of her body gives you comfort, you lean on her body and rest your head on her shoulder. your hands lay on her lap, she reaches out for your hands with her other hand, gently caressing your skin with her palm.

you look up to her, your eyes meet her round ones — then your eyes trail down to her tall nose and plump lips. you smile at the thought of her smooth cheeks. you hold minji's hand in yours, taking her back.

"minji thank you for everything." minji's face glows a different shade of red, the tip of her ears are bright red. she laughs, looking away — speechless. as she was looking in the other direction, you take your cue to give her cheek a chaste kiss, and so you do.

your lips touch her cheek and minji flinches, squirming at the sudden contact of your soft lips against her skin. she lets out a small squeak causing you to immediately hush her down.

"you kissed me!?" she whispers, you roll your eyes playfully and laugh at her response. it's starting to get darker outside, you stand up and brush the dust off of your skirt and watch as minji stands up too, still flustered. "where are you going?" she asks.

"home." you answer, starting to walk your way out of the library.

minji follows behind and says.

"i'll take you home!"

[mysteryshoptls]

It's not really a translation (also apologies for any Grammer errors) but I was wondering how the currency in twisted wonderland works! Do thaumarks take after USD or JPY?

If it already specified it flew over my head 💀

Also, thank you so much for your translations and information!

That's a very good question! It seems to be that Thaumarks is based loosely on dollars. This may be because the English version of the game was originally only run as a "North America" server (before expanding to other locations), so everyone assumed "USD". Now, take a look at this scene from Dorm Uniform Azul's vignette:

600 Madol became 6 Thaumarks. Madol seems to follow JPY currency standards, which makes sense, as it's a Japanese game. When the NA server conversion hit, we had Thaumarks which were 1/100 of the Madol value. This would be true of the general relationship between JPY and USD back in 2020 (although the NA game wouldn't be out for another couple years), when the exchange rate was on average 106 JPY to 1 USD. Fun fact: Because of the fluctuation in the market, the exchange rate is almost 150 JPY to 1 USD now in 2024. Out of the "dollar" currencies, the closest right now would be the Australian Dollar at 99 JPY to 1 AUD. I would like to add as an addendum, however, to be careful to add any kind of "real world" attributes to portions of this game. This is set in a fantastical world, and we like to try to put them into terms that make sense to us, as humans. The conversion seems similar to what we know as dollars and yen, but that does not mean that they are.

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

Slider has always known, Slider has eyes and a functioning enough brain to realize that Ice is completely obsessed with Maverick, Slider knows things, he’s the guy that’s always there

The first time they properly met Maverick Slider could already tell that he would be a pain in his ass, Ice started that flirty teasing, Slider knew that Ice meant for it to sound mean, he wanted to rile him up and play his game, but something about it was just off, the tension was way too thick for it to go unnoticed, he always wandered if Goose could feel it too. Still, he didn’t say anything, Ice could figure it out later

The bite was just unnecessary, Slider could tell that Mav was just as invested in this as his pilot was, they were dancing around each other like a weird fucking mating ritual, then Ice decides to do a bite, he obviously meant for it to be threatening, he knows that, but to Slider it just looked really gay, but he doesn’t bring it up, he shouldn’t bring it up, right? Ice trusts him. He still tries to push it, he asks him if he’s ok, that he needs to be careful and concentrate on their goal, Ice looks at him like he’s trying to figure something out, he turns and says “don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing”

He does not in fact not what he’s doing, he catches feelings, it’s not just attraction, it’s not about sex, no, Ice cares about Maverick, Slider sees it in the way that he looks at him, he sees how much Ice wants to comfort Mav, how he looks at him when they get in their planes, how he tries to make sure he’s ok, that he’s safe, he cares, not just as a pilot

They make it back and Ice and Mav get worse, he truly didn’t think it was possible, “you can be my wingman any time” “bullshit you can be mine” that shit might as well be a love confession, and Slider realizes that it’s not just Ice that caught feeling, they’re both in love. But they don’t talk about it, Slider doesn’t bring it up, Ice will tell him, he knows that when he’s ready he’ll tell him

Slider is getting tired of waiting, it’s been about five years since they graduated top gun and Slider is getting really tired of this bullshit, sometimes Ice can’t hang out because he needs to “do something” Slider thinks that’s a weird nickname for Mav, sometimes when they all get together Ice will sit next to Mav, close enough so that their shoulders touch and they’ll spend the night talking to each other, laughing at secret jokes and looking at each other like they’re the most precious thing they’ve ever seen, Slider decides that he’s limiting the time Ice has to finally tell him, he really can’t take more of this “we think we’re great at keeping secrets” little act

A year later Slider has had a enough, Ice is buying groceries and Slider goes with him and when he sees Ice pick up some disgustingly sweet cookies he knows something’s up, Ice doesn’t like those cookies, so he asks, and Ice casually says “oh, Mav loves them” and he snaps, this cannot keep going, so he grabs him by the shoulders and looks him dead in the eye and tells him “I swear to god… I swear to fucking god Kazansky that if you don’t tell me that you’re fucking Maverick then I’m going to walk away and you’ll never hear from me again, I’ve had 6 years of you two being all stupid and in love and I have reached my limit, why won’t you fucking tell me, just tell me, please” Ice freezes, he opens and closes his mouth several times before he takes a deep breath, nods and shrugs “I’m fucking Maverick” Slider let’s out a sigh and pulls Ice into a hug “thank god for that” and it’s finally over

It’s not over, Slider soon finds out that knowing about Ice and Mav without them knowing that he knows is way better than knowing about them and them knowing he knows, because now he actually has to play “best friend of your boyfriend”, he’s the guy Mav asks what to get Ice for his birthday, he’s the guy that Ice whines to about Mav, he’s the guy that has lied countless times for their asses, he’s the guy that needs to be there when Ice wants to propose, he’s the guy that has to endure hours of ring shopping with an insufferably nervous Ice, he’s the guy that has to execute their proposal plan to perfection, yes, even when Ice decides to change it last minute, he’s the guy that needs to make sure that their little backyard wedding is absolutely perfect, he’s the guy that has to write the greatest best man speech anyone has ever heard, he’s the guy that has to give all his parenting advices to Ice when Bradley comes into their lives, he’s the guy that has to tell Bradley all the embarrassing stories about them, he’s the guy that has to help Bradley sneak out of their house to go to a party, he’s the guy that has to be there for Ice when Bradley leaves, he’s the guy that has to help Mav deal with Ice’s cancer, he’s the guy that hugs Ice until neither of them can breath when he’s officially cancer free, he’s the guy that has to give an even better best man speech when they get married again, legally this time, he’s the guy that cries his eyes out when Ice gets his second diagnosis, he’s the guy that holds his hand when he’s dying, he’s the guy that has to be there at the funeral to make sure everything’s in order, just like Ice would’ve wanted it, he’s the guy that has to shake hands with people he doesn’t know because “yes he was a great guy”, he’s the guy that has to make sure Mav is alright after Ice is gone

He’s the guy, he’s always known and he’s always been there

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Rtc headcanons

Have I talked about my trans Ocean and Mischa headcanons recently because they are and you can’t change my mind

Nobody knows Ocean is trans because she started transitioning when she was little and her parents didn’t enroll her in school until she was like 8 and managed to convince them that no the school system was not going to brainwash her

The only people who know about her are Noel and Constance

Mischa does not hide the fact that he’s trans because he knows that nobody’s gonna like. Challenge him on that fact. What are you gonna do, tell the 6 foot dude who stole wine from the church that he’s not a guy? Nah man, you just say okay and move on

Ocean finds out Noel is going to sneak out of town to go to a pride parade and makes him take the entire choir because they all wanted to go to one but Noel is the only one who has a consistently available car and can drive good

Constance gets her hair dyed rainbow

Ocean decided to get a rainbow flag, the lesbian flag, and the trans flag but she can’t keep it at her house so she asks Noel to keep it

Mischa wears a shirt that’s just the trans flag with the words “god knew I’d be too powerful with a dick”

Ricky puts a bunch of pride stickers on his wheelchair

Penny steals a sign from a protester and hits the protester with it

Noel knows sign language because Ricky taught it to him

Ocean is autistic. That’s it that’s the headcanon

Penny use to do gymnastics when she was little but got kicked out after attempting to bite a child

Ricky loves mochi ice cream and learned how to make it when he was 11

Mischa knows how to bake

Whenever Father Marcus doesn’t show up for class Noel and Ricky decide to have lessons called “sign language for dummies”

It’s annoys Noel that Ocean is the one who is the best at it but like. What did he expect

Once Ricky’s parents can afford and AAC device he immediately makes it his life mission to learn how to speak as many languages as possible

Penny plays soccer and she is mvp almost every game

Ocean swears to hate most sports because they are “barbaric” except for soccer

She’s a huge soccer fan so she goes to all of Penny’s games

Mischa and Ricky go too and at every game at some point either Ocean or Ricky climb on Mischa’s shoulders

Noel loves to draw

Constance is actually on honor roll every year

If Ocean’s grades drop below a 95 she will cry

Mischa texts Talia whenever he takes a t-shot because hates needles and needs reassurance

When Mischa starts dating Noel Ocean gets so confused

Noel almost refuses to explain the idea of polyamory to her but Mischa thinks it’s funny to watch her head explode over things she doesn’t understand

They’re both very disappointed when she just goes “oh. okay” and then walks away

Noel and Talia are the best of friends

Penny can still do a bunch of gymnastics stuff she just doesn’t do it very often

Constance asks Ocean out first actually

Ocean spends like a full day avoiding her cause at first she things she’s joking then she freaks out because she’s had a crush on her for years then she thinks that Constance will be mad it took her so long to answer and not wanna date her anymore

Eventually Noel just locks the two of them in the choir room

Constance is also the one who asks Penny to join their relationship

Penny makes origami cats for Ricky

Ricky can pop a wheelie in his wheelchair

Skater boy Mischa and Penny

On the sidelines are Ocean and Noel going “be safe babe!” and “fuck it up Misch!!!” respectively

Ricky plays so many skating games

[vinelark]

6 for the ask meme 😎

6. Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

oh? is it time? is it time to drop the OCBFEU primer??

in short: yes, last year my friends came up with a whole "what if we invented a boyfriend for jason" "what if we also invented a boyfriend for dick in the same continuity" batfam AU with two (and a half) significant OCs. we write little informal fics for each other about them and my incredibly talented friends draw them and we also have an extended fantasy AU of the boyfriend AU that could fill about three TV seasons of plot so far. i love them. they are constantly rotating in the back of my mind; it's a fun time.

months ago we compiled a document with bios and a rough OC bf timeline (with bonus timkon) and: here it is! (content warning for a (past) emotionally manipulative relationship. also some brief underage drinking.)

Batfamily OCBFEU (OC Boyfriend Extended Universe)

Santi

jason’s OC boyfriend; ship name sanjay

[original santi post] [mammutblog’s santi art tag] [90kon’s santi art tag]

santi, short for santiago

5’7”; has to go up on his tiptoes to kiss jason

line cook by day, taking classes toward his teaching certification by night, also volunteers at an after-school literacy program in park row

gothamite through & through—grew up a few blocks over from jason, though their paths never crossed. has two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother, but is mostly estranged from them after their dad died. money was incredibly tight after that and santi still took odd jobs—including some for the falcones—to help his sister finish med school.

an old soul like jason, aka he’ll use his same phone til it’s a brick and does not understand tiktok despite kids at the program explaining it to him over and over

there’s probably a mildly popular tiktok series one of the kids has of them asking santi questions while santi is in the middle of something at the program, because everyone loves santi and he gives funny answers when he’s distracted

santi does not become a vigilante—he has enough on his plate, he’s (almost) a teacher—but he’s certainly not without his own set of skills. also he talks a very good game and can usually get by without having to physically fight (see: confrontation with nick in the below timeline)

Blue

dick’s OC boyfriend; ship name bluebird

[original blue post] [other original blue post]

ex-talon from an alternate reality

6’5” 😳

in his original universe blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon (in this version talons have boosted strength/healing, and were conditioned/brainwashed into carrying out the court of owls’ assassinations. also golden eyes) and doesn’t remember his name anymore. once he tumbled into this universe after an assignment gone wrong, he was free of the court’s orders and re-education for the first time and started slowly unraveling their mental conditioning

he rarely speaks, and takes a while to consider his words when he does. when he texts it’s mostly emojis because he prefers them

when left to his own devices he’s very gentle and likes to bake

he had short/shaved hair as a talon. once he’s in this world he starts growing it out and prefers it long

he eventually makes an excellent crime-fighting partner for dick; he knows and understands dick’s skills enough to trust him to take care of himself, so they work very well together. that said, if you really hurt nightwing you will be reminded very quickly that blue spent most of his life as a nearly unbeatable assassin.

he eventually takes up the superhero name flamebird to go with nightwing

Nick

tim’s OC ex-boyfriend; no ship name we hate nick

nick is a GU college freshman (18 at the time) tim meets playing tennis at the local rec center while tim is avoiding the manor in the early red hood reconciliation days

at first nick definitely plays into the fact that tim desperately craves attention at this point in his life. nick is at turns overwhelmingly nice and startlingly cold, and more and more often “playfully” mocks tim, dismisses his thoughts because he’s “young” (16 at the time), etc. nick is, essentially, a jerk who, despite—or perhaps due to—being a teenager himself, does everything he can to feel superior to tim.

nick also drags tim along to parties/hangouts with his college friends so he can show off that he’s dating tim drake-wayne. other than late-night parties with his friends, though, he insists on keeping their relationship a secret.

none of the bats know about this as it’s happening; tim eventually breaks it off and pretends it never happened.

rough OCBFEU timeline

jason and santi meet while jason is still sort of on the outs with the family but not in Revenge Mode anymore. first jason meets santi as red hood, and later realizes his main apartment/civilian ID lives in the same building as santi when they run into each other in the elevator.

sanjay identity shenanigans ensue! santi is very taken with red hood. santi thinks his upstairs neighbor “uhh, call me jay” is an inconsiderate dickhead for seemingly working out/moving furniture around at 3am sometimes. seriously, how many muscles does someone need. that’s ridiculous. santi also thinks jay has a very nice smile but that’s irrelevant.

meanwhile tim meets nick at rec center and they date for a few months. it’s not a great time for tim and he eventually breaks it off.

santi starts seeing red hood more because red hood will just. appear and shadow santi when he’s walking home from work late, and helps santi out of a tight spot with some of falcone’s men at one point (we learn santi used to work for falcone a few years ago; he needed the money to put his older sister through med school. santi’s not involved with the mob anymore but the past dogs his heels sometimes). santi and red hood start hooking up, though hood still won’t show his face.

santi volunteers at an after-school literacy program (while taking night classes working toward a teaching certification). one day santi’s neighbor jay shows up to the bake sale fundraising for the after-school program, and they have a cute interaction until there’s a surprise rogue attack and the school goes on lockdown. jay disappears; red hood shows up minutes later, helping santi secure the kids before going after the rogue. red hood gets hurt and in the aftermath santi, patching him up, pieces together that red hood is his neighbor jay.

shortly after this santi gets kidnapped in public along with a random teenager (tim drake) who happened to intervene and get himself kidnapped too. the kidnappers saw santi and hood together after the rogue attack, so they’re trying to get information on hood out of santi. tim runs interference as best he can and takes a few hits as a distraction, and soon enough red hood shows up to dispatch the kidnappers. in the aftermath red hood is cold and snappish to tim (jason thinks tim was stalking santi) (to be fair, tim was) and this leads to santi learning a bit more about jason’s family. this also leads to jason breaking up with santi because it’s too dangerous (for santi) to associate with him.

santi does not agree with this decision, and there’s a lot of pining and angsting until they get their shit together over the course of another few months. coincidentally jason is reconciling with his family in the meanwhile and getting his feet under him emotionally.

once they’re together jason and santi are like. incredibly domestic. totally in rhythm with each other. somehow jason now has the healthiest most settled relationship of any bat.

meanwhile in blüdhaven, blue pops in from an alternate reality where the court of owls rules gotham. blue was taken as a child and turned into a talon; when he’s thrown into this universe, he’s free from the owls’ control for the first time. it’s a rough landing—he ends up being fished out of a dumpster by dick and even though blue runs away, he imprints hard on one dick grayson.

Tim (18 now) realizes his longtime crush on kon might be reciprocated; cue panicking.

tim lies his way into a gay club to Research (because nick always kind of mocked tim for not having dated any guys before him; tim thinks he will have one shot to not disappoint kon so he has to figure shit out). gets drunk, starts making out with someone who is not uhh handling him gently. gets spotted by jason and santi, who are there on what was supposed to be a fun date, and they intervene. at first jason is annoyed, thinking tim’s following him again, and then realizes something is Wrong. he and santi dispatch the asshole other guy, and they bring drunk tim back to crash on jason’s couch.

the next morning tim is hungover at jason’s and mortified. santi makes him sit and eat breakfast and tim is like i’m sorry, i wasn’t even following you guys this time, i swear. which leads to tim haltingly explaining the nick thing. santi and jason (who is lurking in the kitchen listening to this convo) don’t know who this ex guy is yet but they’re gonna kill him ❤️

tim’s net gain for this ill-fated excursion: one (1) splitting headache and one (1) new older brother unit.

meanwhile back in blüdhaven blue is slowly un-conditioning himself, keeping to the shadows, and leaving little gifts on dick’s windowsill. the gifts are like, keychains, a lost earring, a random postcard. all tend to be blue or have blue in them, so dick starts nicknaming this mysterious gift-giver blue.

during patrol a week later jason finds tim on a rooftop and has an awkward but earnest talk with tim about uhh. consent and healthy relationships and stuff okay yeah we’re never talking about this again but also if you ever need anything. call me right away or i’ll kill you. okay good talk.

blue gets invited inside dick’s apartment for the first time. god bless bluebird they’re in their own little world over here.

tim and kon kiss 😳

an anonymous, “scandalous” tabloid story from someone claiming to have dated tim drake-wayne drops. resulting fallout, salacious rumors abound about tim + the waynes, etc. also, obviously, bruce and the family find out about nick. jason and santi figure out who nick is and separately visit him to put the fear of god in him.

nick: what the fuck, are you with the guy from earlier? i got the message! tell that guy i’m moving to star city this fucking weekend!

red hood: what guy

nick: you know the, the guy with the earring and the tattoo and he said if i didn’t lose tim’s number and leave town i’d have an accident

red hood: huh. no, not related. so you never made a deal with me. bummer for you, i still get to break one of your arms.

(jason obviously realizes the other guy was santi so he goes home and climbs into bed where santi’s awake reading and he’s like “productive night?” and jason’s like “mmhm, and i heard you had a productive day” and santi shrugs and then jason kisses the hell out of him)

over in blüdhaven blue witnesses dick get really upset over something (this article) for the first time. dick says “i’m going to be away for a few days but you can stay here while i’m gone, okay?” (when dick returns blue isn’t there but dick’s apartment has been deep-cleaned) (this leads to dick insisting blue stay there more and more until they accidentally end up as roommates)

batfamily deals with the nick aftermath and much-needed convos are had with tim. this also brings santi more into the family fold because everyone approves of him essentially making nick shit his pants.

bruce, up to this point, has been kind of wary of santi solely because santi is NOT immediately impressed with bruce. santi sees bruce as being on thin ice until he gets proof that bruce is in fact doing his best as a parent and then they have a slightly more chill dynamic.

meanwhile in gotham, mid family crisis, dick is having his own crisis/rooftop breakdown with tim and jason about having feelings for blue and going through his gay awakening at the ripe age of 20something and jason is very upset that he has somehow become the to-go gay relationship advice sibling.

because yeah, between dick and jason, JASON’s relationship is the more normal/aspirational one for tim looking for like queer mentors. bluebird is great and perfect for them obviously but they are not a blueprint for anyone else.

dick: [sitting on blue’s shoulder after describing how blue wooed him with random tchotchkes on his windowsill and then moved into a corner of his living room for a month and—] anyway do as i say not as i do

dick literally let a secret organization-trained slightly undead assassin into his house for fun bc he got like a few cool rocks as a gift

if tim asked dick for advice dick would be like “oh shit you like-like him? i just thought you were really touchy friends”

no one should ask bruce for advice, ever

so here jason is, somehow the most stable gay of the family

by the time damian appears with his first crush jason is like [sighs] [gets out the powerpoint]

timkon officially get together!

aaaand then months later dick shows up to family dinner with a giant ex-talon in tow like “heyyyyy guys, so guess what—”

there are also plenty of fun post-timeline adventures like “blue and santi get kidnapped together to target nightwing and red hood; kidnappers regret this almost immediately” and “tim takes blue on restaurant adventures because blue really likes fancy food; one day they run into nick who says something nasty about tim and blue breaks nick’s wrist (tim’s net gain: another older brother unit)” and “santi is frantically trying to catch the bus one night and steps on one of poison ivy’s vines—whoops, it’s sex pollen; santi gets introduced to PAID forms” or, alternately, “jason gets hit with the poison ivy special and that’s how santi finds out he’s on jason’s PAID form” and “bruce and blue surprisingly get along very well and trade sparring tips (meanwhile, bruce is trying so hard to get santi to tolerate him and it’s slow going)” and also “dick realizes everyone else in the world knew he and blue were dating and in love six months before he did.”

extra content:

santi, blue, and kon end up in a robin bf support group gc. one day kon gets added to a group chat that’s just like [(372)846-XXXX and (124)234-XXXX has added you to a group chat] and nothing happens there for like 2 hours he’s just like 

kon: ?

kon: hello?

kon: is this spam? is there such a thing as spam gcs?

kon: am i getting blackmailed

kon: how did you get this number??

(blue added kon while santi is in school)

the gc also ends up nonstop unintentional comedy due to their communication styles. kon’s gen z (👍 = declaration of war) and santi is technologically elder millennial/boomer (thought 🙂 was a normal smiley until corrected)—but blue is none of the above. blue knows the nuances of every emoji but has no social rules for using them. he’s an emoji artist. he is unbound.

from @90kon, in a version of the timeline where santi hasn’t seen jason’s face/doesn’t know his name before their sort-of breakup:

after their not-yet-together-break-up they should have an argument. like santi confronts jason about him saying he doesn’t want this thing between them to go on but wont give santi an honest answer but also keeps lurking and santi cant move on like that. bc either he’s done with him or he’s not. and umm yeah jason is not rly saying much but eventually santi is like alright. just tell me this: do you want this or not? forget about everything else…do you want me? and santi barely has time to finish his question before jason says yes. in a tight voice. i want you so much it scares the shit out of me. and ummm well eventually santi is like look. you can have me. but i have conditions.

and he’s like. whatever idk uhh don’t lurk out my window unless you’re gonna come in. dont investigate me; if you want to know something, just ask. at the end he should say "and i need a name. it doesn't have to be your full name or anything, but i need to call you something other than red." and jason is quiet for so long santi sighs and is like. "yeah i didn’t actually think that one was gonna fly. whatever, forget i said--" and jason says "jay." like it just slips out of him. and santi stills, looks at him, and from the way jason said it he somehow knows it's real. it could be short for any number of names but it's real. so he repeats it. "jay."

family game night from @mammutblog:

collected OCBFEU tag

[OC boyfriends created in a lab by @90kon, @mammutblog, @cairoscene, @vinelark, @feyburner, @bluecrystalrainingdaggers!]

[writingquestionsanswered]

Do you have tips on writing lullabies? It's for a mom character from my story who often sings lullabies to her kid. I'm not exactly the best at writing song lyrics, so I would appreciate some tips on writing lullabies.

Tips on Writing Lullabies

First, I want to say that most traditional lullabies like Rock-a-Bye Baby, Hush-a-Bye, and Hush Little Baby are in the public domain, meaning that it's okay for you to use them in your story. If your story is set in our world, you may just want to have your character sing a traditional lullaby rather than writing your own. Just double-check that the song isn't anachronistic and that it is, in fact, in the public domain.

If you're writing a story set in an imaginary world, or there's some other reason why you feel an original lullaby would make more sense, it helps to understand a little bit of what lullabies actually are. The earliest known lullaby was recorded on a clay tablet in cuneiform script 4,000 years ago in Babylon, what is now modern-day Iraq. Like many lullabies over the centuries, it is a little dark and comes with a message for the baby: essentially, stop crying or you'll wake up the house demon. Many researchers believe that part of the function of a lullaby is to help the parent vocalize their fears in relation to the baby, whether that fear is related to the baby's mortality, the potential danger of crying (attracting predators or angering others), or even more personal concerns bothering the mother.

So, a good place to start is with your story's setting... where does the parent character live? Where did they grow up? What concerns do they have or might their parents have had (or the parents of that town/village/culture) that would make it into a lullaby?

For example, let's say you're writing a fantasy and the parent character comes from a village at the foot of a mountain range where mining is the primary industry, and heavy rains fall in the winter months which sometimes create dangerous conditions in the mine. From here you can imagine a parent sitting at home, rocking their baby to sleep while they wait for the other parent to return from the mines... but because it's raining, there's now the fear that the other parent won't return because the rains are so dangerous. How might that translate into a song? How might the parent vocalize these fears in some way to the child?

Some other things to keep in mind are the typical sound and structure of a lullaby:

-- 6/8 time signature with no more than 5 notes is common -- slow, melodic tones reminiscent of a heartbeat -- rhythm that works with rocking or gentle swinging -- few words, repeated over and over

You might even look at existing lullabies and use them as a template. Let's say I want to create my miner-related lullaby using Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as a guide:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. When the blazing sun is gone, When he nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

So, maybe it could be something like...

Rain, rain, the winter rain Mother's in the mines. May she find her way to you her darling Valentine. Rain, rain, the winter rain Father's turn will come. May the sun be shining soon, for now the day is done. It's simple and it tells a little story... these parents take turns working in the mines, and it's dangerous work. The parent left behind is always hoping the other parent will make it home to them, and that the rain will stop so it's not so dangerous.

Another example worth noting is the lullaby from The Hunger Games, Deep in the Meadow. (You can read the lyrics here.) This lullaby is lighthearted on the surface... it paints a beautiful picture of a meadow where the child will be safe and loved. But the darker undertone is that the meadow is the safe place while the rest of the world the child lives in is not safe, and that obviously hearkens to the specific world that Katniss and her family grew up in.

And while we're on the subject, although it's not a lullaby, the ballad The Hanging Tree, also from The Hunger Games, has a similar origin in terms of matching theme to setting. (You can read about it here, CW for dark themes.)

I hope that will help you figure out a lullaby for your story!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[galedekarios]

I'm not sure if you've seen this going around, but apparently after the new patch, there are people going super pro Gale and Mystra getting back together and acting like she didn't abuse him??? And the worst part is people claiming the player is just who he settles for because Mystra won't take him back and he'll never love the player as much and. I'm going to have an aneurysm. The way I'm suddenly seeing people blaming GALE and calling MYSTRA a victim. Please keep in mind, he can only go back to Elysium if he is the players avatar. And they're saying this is the best ending for him and he was never abused.

I'm so sorry for this rant but I'm SO aggravated by this and I just know if this was a certain other character then this would get people torn to shreds. I'm tired.

don't worry, anon. you can always vent in my inbox. 🖤

as to your ask:

i did see the new added effects and animations to the ending. the ending for origin gale had existed prior to patch 6 already, but they expanded on it with vfx.

my opinion on this personally is:

overall, this changes nothing for me about how deeply imbalanced and terrible their relationship is, nor does it change what mystra did to him, or how she conducts herself within the context of game canon, the decisions she makes and the things she says.

larian can add as many purple sparkles as they want to it - make them heart-shaped next them, too. it changes nothing.

It doesn’t change the fact that she is a goddess. a goddess who sent her chosen to him at 8 years old and made him her lover at some point in time after that. it doesn't change the fact that she was his teacher first, then his mentor, and then changed that intrinsically already imbalanced relationship (which is not even touching on the divine aspect) into that of lovers. it doesn't change the history she has had with her other chosen and what she did to them.

it's an ending that is viscerally uncomfortable to watch in this context and to me, it’s an abuser regaining power over their victim. a victim who, by the end of the game, still hasn't fully realised what has happened to him. the player can set companion gale on the path to it, and some things he comes to see, but there's a lot of healing still left to do.

i also want to add that what people claim doesn't really matter to me in this context, especially if it's what you outlined. so many reads and takes of gale show a complete lack of reading and listening comprehension and general media literacy. a shiny 'new' cutscene tends to do that, too. it happened before when patch 5 and the epilogue released.

i do feel you on being tired though. they fumbled gale's storyline in act iii and it results in a complete 180 from act i and ii. this only adds to it.

other posts than mine have detailed it far better. i don't have to spoons at the moment to rehash it all, but i would recommend reading @messiahzzz's post on gale and mystra's relationship as well as this one here. i also have a post on mystra, elminster, raphael and gale with info from the epilogue here.

[shurislover]

a look into Riri Williams spam

- love me some riri williams so i decided to do this for her

- readers name is Ahvi

- @shaiwritesss @sapphicvqmpires @s0lam33y @pvnks0ul

lilmiss.smarty

liked by shuris.lab and 34 others

lilmiss.smarty this lab quite fire

gen.okoye do you young people have to take pictures of everything

lilmiss.smarty it’s for memories you should try it

shuris.lab i wonder who did this 🤔

lilmiss.smarty you did your thing with this one

view all 10 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 45 others

lilmiss.smarty well damn

lilmiss.ahvi i NeEdeD sPAcE, do that with them folks you see in wakanda not with me

lilmiss.smarty my bad ma i love you

gen.okoye LOL ( did i use this correctly)

nak_iaa you did 🤭

shuris.lab you’re so old 

view all 13 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 79 others

lilmiss.smarty get you a girl who sends flowers all the way to Wakanda when you’re feeling homesick

shuris.lab she loves you

lilmiss.ahvi i really do

nak_iaa this is so cute

lilmiss.ahvi i love you so much

mbaku_ you guys make me sick

lilmiss.smarty this is why you’re single

view all 10 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by na_kiaa and 98 others

lilmiss.smarty UGH I MISS MY GIRL

shuris.lab you just left her.

gen.okoye right. it hasn’t even been 15 mins

lilmiss.smarty step your relationship game up before you speak on me

shuris.lab my girl and i just fine !!

lilmiss.ahvi hop on one of them lil talon fighters and come see me

lilmiss.smarty on my way beautiful 

view all 6 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by lilmiss.ahvi and 56 others

lilmiss.smarty i love when she calls me good girl 😩

gen.okoye what does girl jello mean ?

nak_iaa why would you want to be called a good girl ? you’re not a pet

shuris.lab these two up here have me rolling

lilmiss.ahvi it’s so funny

view all 8 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by gen.okoye and 98 others

lilmiss.smarty travel buddy

nak_iaa photo creds 🤭

shuris.lab the fact ahvi is taller than you is so funny

lilmiss.ahvi she my lil mama fr

lilmiss.smarty y’all will get blocked

mbaku_ you’re really 4’11 LOLLL

gen.okoye that’s not nice leave her alone

mbaku_ and that’s why you’re baldheaded

view all 13 comments

lilmiss.smarty

liked by mbaku and 69 others

lilmiss.smarty vacay views for the bday girl !! @/lilmiss.ahvi happy birthday to the loml , thank you for making me the happiest girl on earth. I’m forever grateful to do life with you , cheers to many many more years. love you 4L

gen.okoye happy birthday princess ahvi ! miss you.

mbaku_ happy birthday to the coolest kid

shuris.lab happy bday ahvi !!!!

nak_iaa bday wishes from me and prince t 🤍

lilmiss.ahvi love you guys thank you

lilmiss.smarty

liked by shuris.lab and 94 others

lilmiss.smarty got me in the air knowing damn well i’m scared of heights

lilmiss.ahvi how are you scared of heights when you’re ……..

shuris.lab that’s what i’m confused about

gen.okoye scared of heights but is always in the talon fighter

mbaku gripping her hand like a lil baby

nak_iaa id say grow up but i think you’re stuck at that height

gen.okoye LOL

shuris.lab theres no growing over here

lilmiss.ahvi if y’all don’t leave my baby alone

view all 23 comments

[riality-check]

platonic hellcheer coparenting part 6! part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

Chrissy flattens out her skirt and tries to breathe. She shouldn’t be so nervous, standing on the front steps of a home she’s never been to. She can’t even blame her shaking on the cold; it may be the time in March when it’s still blustery and threatening snow, but her thermal tights and sweater do their job well.

(Soon, neither of those will fit. Chrissy tries not to think about that. She knows what happens once she starts down that road, and it’s never good.)

No, her shaking is exclusively due to nerves, and she’s perfectly justified in feeling this way.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about,” Eddie says, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“That’s crap, and you know it.”

“No, I know that there’s nothing to be nervous about. So long as you still want to do this.”

He fishes his keys out of his pocket. How he manages to find anything on that cluttered mess of keychains and cards and multiple lanyards, for some reason, Chrissy will never know, but it’s another quirk that makes Eddie, Eddie.

It hasn’t been very long at all, but she’s finding, so far, that she really likes him. Not that she’s ever pictured it before it happened, but she can’t imagine being in this situation with anyone else at her side.

He doesn’t put his keys in the door. He just looks at her, eyes a little wide.

“You do still want to do this, right?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you don’t-”

“Eddie,” she says. “Just because I don’t want to tell my parents-”

Just because I haven’t talked to them in years, she doesn’t say.

“-doesn’t mean we can’t tell your uncle.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Eddie,” she says again. “You’re allowed to want things out of this, too. Okay?”

He smiles. It’s different from the broad, mocking grins she remembers him having in high school. It’s small and almost secret, like he didn’t even realize it made its way onto his face.

She wishes, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, that she could love him like that. It sure would make life a lot easier.

But, Chrissy supposes, I don’t think easy is in the cards.

“Okay,” Eddie says, and he turns the key into the lock. The door creaks open, swinging inside and Chrissy can feel the heat of the house bleed out, just a little bit.

“Wayne!” he calls. “I’m home!”

He takes a step in, motioning for Chrissy to follow.

She does because what else is she supposed to do?

“Living room,” Mr. Munson calls back.

Eddie takes her inside to a cozy home. Straight ahead is a small kitchen with a little table and two chairs. To her left, a coat rack and a hallway. To her right, the living room.

Mr. Munson sits on a recliner. There’s a still-smoking cigarette in the ashtray to his right, and there’s a basketball game on the TV. Chrissy notes idly that the Pacers are losing.

Minus the ashtray, and if the TV were in HD, it could be Chrissy’s living room. The one at her parents’ house. Almost. It’s a little smaller, and the hats on the walls - that’s a lot of hats - make it feel… different.

Better.

Chrissy has been in this house for thirty seconds and already likes it better than the one she grew up in.

She wonders what her mother would say about her being in the trailer park. She finds that she really couldn’t care less, and she’s ecstatic about that fact.

Eddie grabs her hand. Squeezes once. Leads her into the living room.

They sit side by side on the little loveseat parked against the wall. Chrissy almost knocks her knee into Eddie’s, just for a little reassurance, but keeps herself from doing that.

She’s not really sure why.

She gets a good look at Eddie’s uncle this way, though. He’s an average-sized guy, bald, probably in his fifties. He has hard features and keys dangling from his hand and, most startlingly, really blue eyes.

Like, really blue.

She expected them to be more like Eddie’s. It shouldn’t be so much of a surprise - Eddie hasn’t told her too much about his uncle, nothing beyond the fact that he raised him and that he’s living with him again since he came back to Hawkins - but it is.

“How was your day?” Eddie asks.

Mr. Munson turns to the two of them. If he’s surprised to see Chrissy, he doesn’t show it. His face stays perfectly neutral, and his eyes give away nothing.

“Slow,” he says after a minute. “Got some good sleep. Little pissed that my team’s losing. About to head in to work in about an hour. Who’s she?”

He asks the question with the same inflection that he uses to report on his day, so it takes Chrissy a moment to realize that he asked a question.

“Chrissy Cunningham, sir,” she says. She stands up and holds out her hand to shake.

Mr. Munson stares up at her, and his eyes widen just a little bit. Chrissy thinks, though she doesn’t know what it could possibly be, that she’s done something wrong.

But then the corner of his mouth turns up, just a bit, and he stands slowly, taking her hand and giving it a good, firm shake.

“You don’t need to call me sir,” he says, and yeah, there’s definitely an accent of some kind. Southern, but not quite. Chrissy wonders why Eddie doesn’t have it.

“Sorry, Mr. Munson,” she says.

He wrinkles his nose and huffs out a little laugh. “Wayne is just fine. Mr. Munson makes me feel old.”

“You are old,” Eddie says from the couch.

“And you’re a brat,” Mr. Mun - no, Wayne - says, finally letting go of Chrissy’s hand. He says it lightly, like it doesn’t mean anything.

In what used to be Chrissy’s house, that would have meant a lot.

But Eddie laughs, and Wayne smiles, and Chrissy thinks, again, that this house is very different from the one she grew up in.

She sits back down next to Eddie. He knocks his knee into hers, and she knocks it back.

Wayne looks at them, amused. “You his girlfriend, Chrissy?”

“No,” the two of them say in perfect synchronization.

“You sure?” Wayne asks, eyebrows raised, clearly not believing them at all.

“I’m gay, Wayne,” Eddie says. Which. While that’s true, that’s definitely a route to take this conversation.

If Chrissy said that… well. She doesn’t know how that would have gone, specifically. Definitely not well. Maybe to church. Definitely to a therapist, but only one that would have agreed with her mother.

“Okay,” Wayne says with a shrug.

Eddie doesn’t even sigh with relief or do anything of the sort. Chrissy is getting more confused by the second.

“Did you know that?” Wayne asks Chrissy, and it takes her a moment to realize that he’s cracking a joke.

She takes a breath, then says, “Yeah, and I’m a lesbian.”

It feels good to say it out loud. Maybe even better saying it the second time.

Eddie knocks his knee into hers again. She knocks his back.

Wayne snorts. “Okay. Got all of Hawkins’s gay population in this trailer, with us three queers.”

That definitely explains his reactions, then.

Eddie chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“I got a feelin’ that’s not what you wanted to tell me, though,” Wayne says.

Chrissy does the slightly cowardly thing and turns to Eddie, who looks like he’s thinking really hard.

Whatever he comes up with has to be better than what she has, which is nothing.

“Wayne, remember how you’ve always wanted grandkids?” Eddie says.

Chrissy stands corrected.

“Somethin’ tells me that’s a lot less likely now,” Wayne says.

“Yeah, well. Less likely doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

Chrissy wants to sink into the couch and never be seen again.

“What?” Wayne asks.

“Surprise,” Eddie says weakly. “One grandkid, due in November.”

Wayne turns to Chrissy. “Is he bullshitting me?”

“No, sir,” she says.

“You can drop the sir,” Wayne corrects, almost like it’s habit.

He turns back to both of them. “Do I want to know how-”

“No,” they say in unison.

Wayne nods like he was expecting that.

“You better get used to being called Grampa, because it’ll happen before you know it,” Eddie says.

Wayne smiles, for real this time. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Like you don’t already know,” Eddie says, but he gets up and hugs Wayne bone-crushingly tight. Wayne hugs back just as tight.

Chrissy stays on the couch, watching. The ache she thought she’d feel isn’t that bad. It’s bearable. It’s there, a low thrum deep in her chest, but it doesn’t hurt all that much.

“Chrissy, get over here,” Wayne says.

“What?” she says.

“Get over here,” he says. “You’re family.”

“But we’re not-”

“You’re family,” Wayne says seriously.

“Chrissy, get in before he comes over there,” Eddie warns, but that’s lighthearted, too. 

Chrissy stands up and lets herself be hugged by the two of them. She could get used to family being light.

And, she realizes, I’m gonna make sure mine will be light, too.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Rating BG3 Ladies Stroke Game

My brain won't let me write my fics so have this shit instead.

Ratings based on vibes and also facts opinions (controversial: not everyone can be a sex god)

all the main and supporting women + my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, (ETA:) Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Anyone can be trans and straps are for everyone regardless, so take your pic on homegrown vs store-bought and/or magical strap*

*Also sex is like pizza, so average results are in fact still pretty good. Only 2, 1, and 0/10 are truly trash dick. So a 5 or 6 is still a compliment!*

Lae'zel: 10/10. She pulls hair, she spanks ass. She has the experience, the athleticism, the drive, the romantic heart. Also the greatest switch to ever live as a simultaneous 10/10 bottom.

Shadowheart: 5/10. Her experience is mostly hand/mouth activities due to lack of privacy/places to hide supplies or apparati in the cloister. She has better ways of making a lover fall apart, but her stroke game is perfectly serviceable.

Karlach: 6/10. LISTEN. I see the vision as a tongue god, but she needs some work to hone her stroke game (too eager = painful, and a possible classic Bigger Is Always Better fallacy waiting to happen), and like SH, she's also not very experienced. She can and will ascend the ranks, but give her a minute to get there!!

Minthara: 10/10. We all know this. She has like 200 years of experience as well as the drive, focus, precision, athleticism, and heart. She gets RESULTS, but also is surprisingly emotionally available, so she covers all the physical, emotional, and psychological bases.

Jaheira: 4/10. Not her favorite, or her forte. CAN she strap? Yes, and it's satisfying, but nothing to write home about. A queen of the accessibility strap (thigh/hand harness GOATed... iykyk) due to her knees/lumbar hurting.

Isobel: 5/10. Perfectly serviceable, likes to tease, knows the technique and executes it well. However, being 5'2" with lung issues holds her back when it comes to higher intensity activities. Also an accessibility harness queen.

Aylin: 12/10. Has been at it since before anyone else on this list was even born. Once she connects emotionally to her partner, there's no going back to anyone else. Perfect balance of brutality and gentleness; she knows how to use her weight, and her aftercare is literal god tier.

Mizora: 0/10. Would probably be pretty good if she deigned to do it, but let's be so for real, pup!

Orin: ??/10. Either a 0 or a 10, no inbetween. A freak bitch for the daring sort who are willing to gamble on what she meant when she said she wanted to 'get all up in your guts'.

Florrick: 3/10. A perfect example of how a dominant personality doesn't always translate to an ability to top. Will do it, but focuses too much on technique and zones out and starts thinking about work. Definitely would rather be on the bottom being ridden VS putting the stroke effort in herself.

Talli: 7/10. A humble, ego-free, service top for all who enjoy a gentler lover. Hesitant to get too rough or nasty with it; she's got that +3 STR and she knows how to use it, but she doesn't want to hurt or disrespect her sweetie!

Alfira: 1/10. Sweet Alfie has many good and sexy qualities but she is never taking anyone to pound town ever. She will do it, and it might be fun and playful, but never "good" by any objective measure. Absolute demon on a slower, more sensual grind, but anything approaching "stroke game"? You're barking up the wrong tree.

Lakrissa: 10/10. Technically an 8 but gets 2 bonus points for being a random girl off the streets and not an alien, centuries-old elf, or demigod. Great dick does walk among us mortals!! She's athletic, she's flirty, she's fun, she's a known giver. She will work extra shifts at her bitch ass job to buy you a house, she will smash you through the floor of said house, she will fix the floor. The total package!

Araj: 4/10. Wears some kind of weird strap regardless of her own equipment because she loves the flair and drama of it, but isn't particularly skilled. Gets distracted. Bad top etiquette. Never shuts up. Still, she gets the job done.

Nocturne: 6/10. Like Shadowheart, her experience is limited by the lack of opportunity in the cloister; but as quartermaster, she would have a greater ability to obtain and hide supplies/equipment, so potentially more experience. Also, maybe as an officer, she was involved in more prestigious orgies?

Skoona: 7/10. Would rather be on the bottom getting pampered, but is an above average top due to always being expected to top. Also a very tender lover (not necessarily "stroke game").

Adrielle: 8/10. She has no choice but to break backs because otherwise, the weight of expectations she places on her own shoulders would break hers. Meticulous. Thorough. Is she enjoying herself? She doesn't know the meaning of the word, but being of service makes her feel whole, and that's what matters, RIGHT?

Z'rell: You Can't Handle It/10. Don't worry about it, maggot. It's not for YOU.

Nine-Fingers: 10/10. Your fingers will quake such that you sign over the deed to your house in her name and you won't even be mad about it. She knows how to work People- what makes them tick. What makes them BOOM. An unforgettable experience.

Philomeen: 20/10. It's the toxicity, I fear. If she can and will blow you up, she can and will blow your back out. It's science. It doesn't matter if she's 1/3 your size, she is FUCKING. You WILL hate yourself after.