#the feeling i get is akin to the

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

[chipper-smol]

When no one is looking...

[whirlpool-blogs]

If fighter pilots lived in a world of split seconds, bomber boys lived in one of agonizing hours, with too much time to think about their own end, which depended inordinately on Lady Fortune. In its testing and training programs the Air Force looked for different qualities in fighter and bomber pilots: physical strength, judgment, emotional stamina, dependability, team play, discipline, and leadership in bomber pilots; rapid hand-eye co-ordination, aggressiveness, boldness, individuality, and a zest for battle in fighter pilots. In a profile of the ideal bomber pilot, the Air Force noted:

"The attitude of crew members... was that they would gladly let some other crew have the hottest pilot in the group... if they could have the man who, when in a tough spot, where a decision which might mean life or death to them had to be made, would quickly... make the best possible decision." For bomber pilots, "intellectual traits" were more highly prized than sensory-motor skills. "Love of blood sports, cockiness... and lack of high intellectual stature would prove to be good qualifying factors for fighter pilots," said this Air Force study.

Ch 10, Masters of the Air, by Donald L. Miller

[pine-rhyme]

My most sensible prediction for Alecto is that at some point in the book, Alecto's soul will go into Noodle.

I really hope nothing bad will ever happen to Noodle but I think that her transfering to a non-human body will give her a very sweet moment of unbridled joy. We know Nona suffers from some sort of dysphoria, wishing she had more legs and finds hands a general nuisance. If anything I am rooting that Alecto will either find a way to transform herself or find another host because having been made as a Barbie is a masive disrespect to everything that she is.

And it might also save her from the fate of every cover character in this series and will survive to be there too in the epilogue.

Also it will be badass as hell and hilariously cartoonish for her to bite John's ass.

[iscariotapologist]

[jorenilee]

I made a mile long twt thread about okuyasu that I'll just paste here too because I have many thoughts about him <333 anyways heres my messy rambles about this specific line because AUUGH

do u ever think about this one line and how perfectly it encapsulates his entire character and how it fits into diu. Like first Okuyasu is NOT a traditionally kind person, he's no saint, he's quick to violence and anger and frustration, he's close-minded and is very clear about his lack of regard for others.

But coupling that with this line from Keicho (sometimes it's translated as "only when I hit him does he listen to me) and its like damn. Their entire lives have been shaped by violence, the only way they've made ANY progress is through death and hurt.

Keicho's power in the family comes from discipline, violence over his father and violence caused by the arrow. The one thing standing between him and a "normal" life is the literal death of his father. It doesn't matter how many lives he ruins in the process, all that matters is getting that second chance. His life has been on an uncontrollable downward spiral, but with the arrow and his own family at his heel, he has power. He can make decisions. He can unshackle himself from the past 10 years and finally start his life.

And of course Okuyasu would absorb all this, because Keicho was all he had, and his own father always responded to that violence. And if you follow the interpretation that the brothers gained their stands from the arrow, that's another instance of them gaining power through suffering. Becoming "better".

And it's so interesting that keicho treats his father and Okuyasu as deadweights "holding him back" when in reality, it was Keicho that was sinking down into tar, refusing to get out because a happier life could be just on the other side.

Okuyasu wanted to save his father the moment that possibility was established, but Keicho held onto the arrow, his sinking fate, his suffering, until the very end. He believed he crossed his moral event horizon and he was destined on this set path. No matter how much power he could scrounge for himself, death ruled his entire life, whether that of his father or the lives of the arrow's victims.

And all this makes Okuyasu's relationships with Josuke and Koichi so much better because. Okuyasu did NOT care for their safety. He was, at least on the surface, on board with Koichi or even Josuke dying. Maybe not all that passionate, but he's seen death, probably participated in it, and believes that it's the Number 1 Nijimura Way. So then Josuke healing him is completely antithetical to his entire damn life.

He was ready to die, ready to "learn his lesson", ready to be discarded because he failed, just like how all those people died to the arrow because they failed to handle a stand. But Josuke's very lukewarm "i jus dont want ppl dying??" belief is so groundbreaking because death was so necessary for any and all progress.

Okuyasu's own stand is inherently destructive and erases things permanently. Maybe a deep-seated desire to actually make lasting impacts on his surroundings erupting as a power beyond death. To cause total oblivion. I know we all love to think that Keicho didn't want to force Okuyasu to kill his own father, but Keicho wanted a normal death. Because at least a normal death can happen to a normal family. And completely erasing someone's atoms isn't a mortal death.

Then here comes Josuke's healing schtick which WORKS, and Josuke is fully prepared to sacrifice an arm and leg just to save Koichi. In like 15 minutes, one guy completely overwrote the past 15 years of Okuyasus life. He helps Josuke heal koichi (extra layer of fucked because all those arrow victims never HAD to die), gets called a great guy, and starts his character arc of. Making decisions in the absence of violence. Choosing to heal and rebuild instead of destroying and moving onto the next victim. Of continuing the cycle of beating life lessons into people's heads.

And Koichi, dude he choked out with a gate, becomes his close friend too. Koichi who gets repeatedly harassed thru diu but still has it in him to forgive and befriend others. He's far from naive, gets fed up with shit, but he's another opposite to Okuyasu. His stand evolves through pain, maybe, but it's from a desire to protect himself or others. There's a chance Koichi was never supposed to survive, but he did (part 4's theme about fate is a different story oooboy) and his active ability to see the best in people compliments Josuke's more aloof demeanor and Okuyasu's short temper. Koichi is like. The embodiment of growth in that way.

and ik its eoh dialogue but this interaction was always neat to me because of how it highlighted Okuyasu's disinterest in improvement, at least when it comes to character. For him, as long as someone "gets" the lesson at a surface level or is good enough at it, there's no reason to dive deeper. To fully wrap your head around it and Feel it. Its the same utility-first philosophy Keicho held, the same idea that all that matters is the end goal, not the means or the people along the way. + how Okuyasu still bickered and talked back to Keicho, but understood well enough that Keicho was the one in control.

"bare minimum" is how okuyasu lived his entire life; his house, how keicho treated him, his response to Josuke and Koichi's kindness, his entire relationship with his father.

He desperately wants, yeah, but its for more material things. Money and power, things either robbed from him or held over his head. And YEAH he's supposed to be hypocritical here, but like. Why does he lose his morals and sense ESPECIALLY when those two things are involved. Why does he "regress" in character growth back to tunnel-visioned violence and discipline about them.

And rahhhhhh is it lackluster writing or is it interesting that Okuyasu's pretty stagnant for the entirety of diu. It's like he's passively absorbing things about befriending former enemies through kindness, inspiring loyalty through passion not pain.

He calls Mikitaka weird and dismisses him (remnants of Keicho's utility stuff?), gets ghost tricked, acts like a big brother a few times. But it's when he meets Keicho face-to-face that it all crashes down around him. The same way Nijimura father had shackled him, Keicho had also been weighing on Okuyasu.

Its like. Keichos death made Okuyasu rebound onto Josuke and get consumed by vengeance against Otoishi, and Okuyasu didn't know how to properly grieve Shigechi either. His entire life, when someone died, violence was the answer. Hide the body, kill the father, don't ever think about what you've done.

But its Keicho, the one that spearheaded the power-and-suffering-over-all thing, who steps in and requests that Okuyasu thinks it over. The Keicho that said he stopped regarding oku as his brother, was willing to kill him to prove a point, who quite possibly shot the arrow at him. Who taught him that only violence yields the answer. Self-inflicted or not.

He says to just think about it. And Okuyasu thinks long enough for Josuke and Hayato to lose their damn minds and for him to actually understand it, fully wrap his mind around it. The fact that he has a "second" life, the life Keicho pursued for so long and died for. And he has it because of the love and compassion from his friends, how they see past the failures and transgressions of others.

How they just dont want people to die. And Okuyasu doesnt have to either. He doesnt have to stay sinking for his brother, doesnt have to lose everything for a mistake, doesnt have to destroy to make a difference. and so he chooses to live. Really, fully live. For himself.

And he comes back, now able to recognize and separate himself from Keicho's teachings. THERES A REASON STRAY HAS BEEN MY PFP FOR FOREVER BECAUSE Okuyasu comes back and saves Stray. The little creature that literally EXPLODED him.

And it means so much that it wasn't a "this creature is good and I will rescue it" moment, because Okuyasu was never a saviour hero-type. He didn't even mean to "save" the cat. He just removed Stray from Kira's grasp, and THEN realized oh I think it's just a little guy. Alright cool I guess the fucker stays with me.

He's growing his own way, beginning his new life by first and foremost helping others. He brings stray home BEFORE it takes a liking to his father. It's just. The first independent, weighted decision he makes is giving a stressed, unfortunate cat a second chance at life. It was struck by an arrow, revived due to forces outside it's comprehension, and was fuelled by instincts to lash out and attack. And because it was destructive and able to follow orders, it was weaponized. Before finally being removed from the situation and calmed down. Sound familiar?

And now Okuyasu has a semblance of a domestic family. The Nijimura family is all about growth from death and it's so interesting. Nijimura father becoming cruelest after his wife's death, him mutating after DIO's death, Keicho believing his life begins after his father's death, Okuyasu's life actually beginning after Keicho's demise, Stray being reborn as a plant (symbol of growth), and Okuyasu reviving too (also due to Keicho's death).

+ shit about nijimura father unable to die and Okuyasu constantly being pulled from death by Josuke ADDING MORE FUNNY LAYERS TO LOOK AT + the name nijimura literally meaning rainbow village. Both the physical irl place and the idea that rainbows = rebirth and hope and new beginnings + stray being reincarnated under one + Okuyasu reviving after the rain passed. Death doesn't rule them, but is also inescapable??? Idk anyways

ALL THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY okuyasu is a flawed character surrounded by violence and bad decisions, he's not a pure soul and does fucked shit and is NOT a 2014 tumblr era cinnamon roll PLEASE. He can be an ass and it makes the hopeful buds of his new life that more beautiful cuz like. Morioh is the best place for him to settle and grow, reteach himself everything because it's a community of equally if not more dubious weirdos.

Oku's far far from perfect, he's still got a lot of anger and shortsightedness but he's with people that love him, willing to help him when he makes mistakes, doesn't hold him back. His relationships with Josuke and Koichi and others aren't like. Super poetic or cosmic or "I will find you in every universe"esque and it suits him. He's just a teen guy who went thru everything and missed out on everything. He's suffered, caused suffering, but he's leaving that cycle.

Judging by the book (semi-canon), it's going as messy as expected, but he loves his friends so so much. He's still putting himself in harm's way and being reckless and an asshole, but he has something more to fight for. And he cares a lot. Is willing to go beyond for it, maybe even improve. And that's enough for him (in the best way).

Idk how to end the thread anyways he's my son my baby perfect angel also he sucks bad BUT HE'S PERFECT ‼️‼️ this is how I feel about him every given day it just depends on the celestial alignment of the planets and stars

[cowboy-robooty]

no shame to whoever likes this stuff but i always think its insane just how many people like hetalia where theyre sobbing and terrible people and abuse and cheating and crazysauce shit. cuz i love evil stories with darker themes/relationships too dont get me wrong but it feels to me like doing that to hetalia is like doing that to looney tunes. me when woodpecker has irreversably traumatized coyote and [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. im just sayin guys i think hetalia fandom is in the same ballpark of the south park fandom sometimes

[uncanny-tranny]

It is okay if you can never forgive somebody who has harmed or abused you. You don't have to forgive them, but you deserve to find peace in other ways. If you can't forgive or forget, then do things for your sake. Find what fulfills you, if to make it easier for yourself. That is okay. Forgiveness isn't forgiveness if it is demanded or expected, and it isn't fair for you

[chemicalarospec]

For a solid month I used to keep getting recommended on youtube “this song sounds like you’re 14 and in love” and every time my honest reaction as an aromantic was: Y’all were experiencing LOVE at FOURTEEN???

[pinacoladamatata]

if they Tamlen solas' ass, that might just be IT for me

[eldritchqueerture]

okay okay okay but HOW exactly. how exactly did john kill Emily and Parker. he was trapped in the book. Emily was described to have been mutilated!!! in a fucking field!!! and when parker died there was no blood! did john take over arthur's body for a brief second? why has arthur never questioned it? how the hell was that possible

when kayne said "anyone who wouldve opened that book and taken what you took wouldve died. they all die." did he mean that?? cause per intermezzo other arthurs manage fine despite not being SpecialTM like our arthur. and WHY were they killed in such different ways??

[colorisbyshe]

even having a strong, tall glass of wine with dinner, going on dating apps feels bleak as hell

[roboticutie]

It's a side-mission that I don't think many end up doing, at least from the lack of talking about it I see, but still. The figurines. If you succeed a check in the pawn shop, you can take a figurine of a headless soldier on a horse. If you've done that, when you inspect the stained glass Dolores Dei you can get the task to give her any and all figurines you can find. Perhaps you can one day. Even when you get this task, though, it feels odd- it confuses your Logic because Dei has long since passed, but... Maybe you can give her these gifts somehow? You can find another figurine in the unplayable Wirral expansion pack (I only found it bc I didn't know you couldn't play Wirral w Kim). There are only these 2, according to the wiki, and I have not found more.

This task is another moment where the writers really manage to emulate that feeling of not only loss, but lost-ness that you get a few times in the game. When I did this task I thought it would be something extraordinary, maybe vaguely supernatural as there are a few things confirmed to be unexplainable happening with and around Harry, y'know? I had hope and intrigue and didn't even realize how strange and rare it must be to get this task on accident bc after typing it out I realized the starting parameters were VERY specific and easy to miss, actually. And I was so excited to find who to give it to, maybe a lost shrine, or someone reaching through a spot of pale and time, maybe when I found 3 or 5 I could lay them at her shattered feet and look behind the glass, something odd and unexplainable.

Then I met her in the dream. And just before it ended I was reminded that I'm supposed to give Dei the figurines. And that's when it dawned on me what Harry had forgotten, and I knew what he'd done to his memory of Dora by combining the two, and... It was so sobering and desolate. It felt the same way the end of a party feels, when you're the last to leave. The balloons are still up, but there's streamers on the floor, crumbs on the plates, bowls of snacks emptied, walls that held and echoed laughter are silent. The after image of something amazing, left only with the memory and the knowledge that that moment will never, ever happen the same way again.

You fulfill this task by giving all found figurines to Dora in the final dream.

And it does nothing. It doesn't work. Nothing will work. She would have liked them once, but like Dei, that Dora is dead. She died years ago and the Dora that remains is far, far away now.

Just like when I had no idea the carriage was Harry's until Kim spelled it out for us 2 hours later after chatting and whistling and relaxing; the figurines made what Harry was feeling and going through dawn on me so personally. I can't explain it in words well enough. I was so disappointed the figurines weren't some greater purpose, I was sad this was all we were holding onto them for, I was disappointed in Harry for trying to use trinkets to win her back, I was upset that they didn't do anything good, she didn't even want them; and I knew that's what Harry felt in that moment, too.

It's a level of "Show, don't tell," that not many writers set themselves up to be able to achieve. Even in this game there are only a handful of moments that are able to put you into Harry's headspace so precisely, and all of them are very specific and rely heavily on context given or lost on the player. It's impressive. I think about those figurines a lot.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

TPN Committee: Yeah we’re going to horribly truncate this anime adaption by cutting 50+ chapters, removing so much of the nuance people loved about the original story and make it the greatest disappointment of Winter 2021 after the first season was a critical darling, but as compensation you can have some REN Rights in the form of this album cover that wouldn't be out of place for a shoujo series

[sans-guy]

Imma jump up on the train too.

Your art helps me through massive depressive episodes, literally pulling me put of the mental garbage I'm feeding myself everyday.

I'm very happy that you post your art and share it with all of us so we can have a good time.

And if you ever had any doubts that someone actually does care. We do. I'm taking the liberty to say=

We care about your art. And about you.

So thank you.

You make life enjoyable.

snfs..,,, thank u anon

[vermillioncrown]

by this point, my frustration is justified--if i have:

1) already mentioned in multiple replies that a fic is on hiatus

2) bolded its status and my reasons in the end note

3) added the status and a warning that i will delete comments of the type in my summary

why do i still get asked whether or not i'll ever update again? and that's all they have to say?

becoming increasingly concerned there's a subset of bil readers that don't know how to read or pay attention in a hobby that requires reading comprehension and an attention span