#the first is this godawful haircut

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

willow!!! had!!! my!!! hair!!! it was super thick and floofy!!! she looked like she broke 8 hairties a day!!! she looked like every time she forgot to vacuum her room the floor would get covered in hair clumps!!! she looked like if she turned her head too fast she would wack whoever's standing next to her with her braid!!! and now??? now she looks like goh from pokemon adventures,,,,,,,,,,,

[pluto-supremacy]

Vi Headcanons: dating f!reader at Stillwater

➼ Yes I am breaking my rule of no f!reader because I wanted to write for Vi so bad. So I'm gonna set a new precedent now: I'll write f!reader IF it is a wlw fic/headcanons/whatever. Though this is more of just a lil treat since the brainrot is rotting

➼ Might end up turning this into a full fic, if you want that let me know! (It did! Here's part two)

➼ No beta we die like Sky

➼ Warnings: None!

GIF does not belong to me! All credits to the owner

Whenever there is free time, Vi is at your side. You two usually find some corner away from the others to try and get away, pretend you two can have a moment to yourselves

She's always giving you her food, you don't even need to ask. She'll happily let you pick at her plate if you're still hungry or you haven't eaten in a while due to lockdown

You're lucky enough to only be two cells away from each other, you two often get in trouble for talking during lights out

If you're ever in trouble, Vi takes the beatings for you. She can and has thrown herself between you and a guard and is not afraid to do it again

Same obviously goes for inmates

"If you want to keep your tongue in your mouth, I suggest you leave her alone"

Though not many inmates mess with you considering your personal body guard of a girlfriend

If you're ever thrown into solitary, Vi goes crazy. Getting into more fights than usual, refusing food, even trying to break into solitary to be with you

If you want, she gives you both matching tattoos there with whatever device she can get her hands on. She lets you pick out the design and the placement

Anytime she gets clean clothes, bandages, and hygiene supplies (all of which are of course a rarity there), she uses them/gives them to you first. Bandages up any new cuts of yours or changes your dirty ones, gives you her new toothbrush and toothpaste, and so on. You'll have to fight her on at least sharing some of the items, like the new tube of toothpaste. She just wants to make sure you're taken care of

"Just scored a new hairbrush. Go ahead and take it, bun. Need to keep your hair brushed so I can play with it, yeah?"

Vi cuts your hair for you there and takes it super seriously. She's not gonna let you walk around with a shitty haircut

Though she did fuck it up once (or a few times, but they were smaller mistakes that were easy to hide)

To make up for that godawful haircut she gave herself a bad one too. It's just hair, after all, it grows back

She'll stand guard while you're showering. Make sure no one's gaze is lingering around on you. Also lets you shower first so if there is any hot water you'll get it

Vi is a portable bed for you. Whenever you're together and you want to rest, she'll try to find a quieter place and let you rest your head on her shoulder/in her lap. She plays with your hair while you're sleeping and checks your pulse every now and then. Just to make sure you're still there with her

Whenever you get sick there, she will make the biggest fuss to get you to medical. If that isn't an option Vi does her best to take care of you with the limited resources you both have

"Snuck a bit of that honey from breakfast. Try and cover your throat in that and don't worry about talking, okay Y/N?"

During bunk inspections, if you have any contraband, Vi takes it and hides it in her cell. She rarely ever gets caught with it, but she'd rather take the punches than have you on the receiving end of them

On the flipside Vi trades a lot of her own contraband to get things for you. Things like snacks, jewelry, hair dye, better clothes, anything other inmates have that you might want

Though if trading for those doesn't work, she will straight up steal them for you

When Caitlyn comes to release her for help with tracking down the stolen gemstone, she throws in a condition. An obvious one

"You're getting Y/N out too. That or you can try to find Silco on your own. Undercity is going to eat you alive without me"

And that's how you and your lover finally escape Stillwater

[amarriageoftrueminds]

that anon made some good points. i always found it weird how the majority of people in the cap fandom only criticizes steve's actions in endgame but ignore how sam and bucky canonically are cool with their friend turning into some time-traveling villain playing with the lives of god knows how many people. which actually makes both of them bad people too! not as bad as endgame! steve of course but you know what i mean.

maybe it's fans confusing fanon with canon, where steve is often called out and punished by sam & bucky by the endgame critical side of the fandom? idk but none of that happened in canon. quite the opposite. they still call steve their friend by the end of the show.

just to be clear i believe nothing since that godawful movie made sense so this is not me bashing sam and bucky. but i do find it interesting how fandom mostly focuses on the part of steve abandoning his friends and not how endgame's bad writing greatly damaged sam and bucky's characterization too. why are not more people angry about that?

In reference to (x)

Yeah it's really a domino effect. The negative implications of one load-bearing 'good' character demolishes the values of a whole relay of other characters. The proverbial one bad apple that spoils the barrel. (Altho tbh the fact that TFATWS Bucky could be swapped out with Brock Rumlow without it affecting the plot, because of how villainized he is, kinda tells you just how badly they've written him. That guy isn't Bucky. That's just SebStan with a terrible haircut and a poorly-fitted plastic jacket.)

It's such infuriatingly shoddy absence of continuity, that EG makes Steve almost a split-personality too. The way he answers the first question(?) Sam ever asks him in CATWS by criticising how bad things were in the past versus how good they are in the future (and they're all things that aren't undermined by the plot, where bad things are revealed in the future!)

You can't be that guy and the 'doing nothing=bad' guy and go and live in the 1950s to do nothing while your 'best' friend is tortured. You just can't! 🤷‍♀️ That would be beyond the pale even for a full-blown villain!

[lavenderlemonrose]

I'm rewatching attack of the clones and I just- I'm padme, right, and I'm 24 and hot and a lauded senator and I've been reunited with two men that I last saw when I was 14: - a fully-trained jedi knight who was young and handsome when I first knew him and is now mature and even more handsome with swoopy hair, and who makes witty comments and has flirty eyes and jumps out of windows in the name of my safety - a 19-year-old boy who was a little kid when I first saw him, who makes smoldering bedroom eyes at me and tries to watch me over security cameras and has that godawful haircut and awkwardly painfully flirts with me when he's not having a tantrum over the fact that he's still an apprentice I don't think I'd end up making the same choice she does.

[nances]

they need to at least bring robin’s uma thurman hair back how come they keep giving the gays all the worst haircuts. suspicious

first that godawful bowl from s3, then the inconsistent ass bob

i guess it’s to nerf the insane amounts of rizz they have or something

[chaosgodray]

So, there's something that needs clarifying. My Gender Identity is "they/them enby on feminizing hormones who presents very masculine." It's unwieldy and kinda silly. Valid, but unwieldy.

Thing is, it's intentionally a transitory stage of my life. I'm invoking denial tropes while medically going full throttle because, well, there are a few factors. So first off, my job is not a safe space. My boss is a transphobe. (He's also a moron and a doormat, but he's a transphobe). I work at a warehouse manning a security checkpoint; I deal with a wide variety of smelly people who drive big rigs for a living. Not all of them come off as the kind of people who would respect me as a trans woman (certainly not as an openly nonbinary person). I don't present male because I necessarily want to, but because I have to for safety reasons. Hence the goatee, an easily maintained demarcation of alleged maleness that I don't think looks godawful like what i look like with a full beard.

Point two: I've been so up my ass in doubts that I didn't take my hrt for about 3 months, and on top of that I kept getting denial haircuts or thinking "I'll just buy a wig hahaha" (BAD IDEA 0/10 do not reccomend). So while I've been on HRT since Jan. 2021, there's three months of stalling in the middle thereof.

Third thing, the big one: I'm plural. I'm self-diagnosed with OSDD (the non-amnesiac variant of DID) but my therapist and psychologist at the time both made no effort to deny my feelings. I have had significant dissociative breaks from my/our "core identity" that, in our mind, reinforce our confidence in the self-diagnosis.

the main factor of that is, "Ray" refers to a larger group of people than a single individual. it includes at least Jake, Ray, and Rachel, and potentially also includes Blu-Ray, Jennifer, Refraction, Hyperion, Barry, Rose, and Calem. This is the level zero and level one of our concentric rings model of our plurality. While pronouns, genders, appearance, sexuality, memories, even SPECIES varies among us, the ten of us share enough in common that we can't tell each other apart sometimes, and (this is the kicker) MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY ALL BE SEPARATE PEOPLE. (Rachel and Jennifer might be the same alter, same with Ray, Blu-Ray, and Refraction. Rose we genuinely had to invent/retcon an explanation for because they fronted for a few days without realizing if they were a new person or not and we haven't seen them since.)

It gets more confusing. Jake is explicitly, actually [DEADNAME REDACTED], the host from earliest memories to 2018-2019 or so. He was functionally DEAD for like two years before we did an edible and had a really bad reaction. To quote him at the time, "I'm vibing with my deadname, my brain is convinced it's 2018, and please close the curtains and turn out the lights because I can't stop staring at the sun." Weed is fucking wild. And he not only stuck around, he took his life back.

So let's talk about Ray. Not Ray the singletsona we project to the world, Ray the alter. but to talk about ray we have to talk about nate. Nate is a bigender foxkin roseboy nature spirit. He is adorable but not very mature. Thing is, She was the host for the first few months of our being open about our plurality, because no one else was up to the task or wanted the job. This was like spring of 2021 and Rachel (1) (we assume) was dormant after an identity crisis that resulted in our acceptance of our plurality. (it's possible we've been plural since ~2017, but definitely since 2020). Once Nate realized he wasn't up to the task, having had a series of mental breakdowns that lost us the only job we've ever had with growth potential, she basically CREATED Ray to be the mature adult we needed to host the system. Ray traded off hosting with Nate, blended with basically everyone at one point or another, stopped existing only to come back, blended with nate long term, blended with jake long term, possibly blended with jennifer to re-form rachel before rachel became a separate entity who may have absorbed jennifer (also jennifer is actually rachel 2 and rachel is rachel 3)...

its complicated, and we barely understand this. and keep in mind, this has in no way stabilized. going back to the beginning of this post, we are actively doing fucky gender stuff that doesn't necessarily make sense, and this is why. The "pilot" of the body isn't consistent or easy to determine most days.

Just the easiest example: Jake and Ray. Jake and Ray look very similar (and like the body). Jake and Ray have the same underlying personality. Jake and Ray are so good at pretending to be each other they fool themselves. What's the difference between Jake and Ray? Jake wears jean jackets and uses he/they. Ray wears flannel and uses they/them (usually). sometimes, jake and ray blend into RJ. Who is RJ? The same person as jake and ray, they just are both simultaneously. maybe. IT'S CONFUSING.

Then there's Refraction, aka Empty Spaces Ray, Blu-Ray aka more effeminate Ray with blue hair, whatever the extant version of Rachel is aka Rule 63 Ray, Rose aka Butch Rachel, Hyperion aka angry horny dragon Ray with no filter and many fewer inhibitions...

BUT

there is a plan. As we move forward in our transition, the progesterone scrip we got recently takes effect, we properly grow our hair out, our breasts get too big to ignore (and we finally buy a damn bra for them), we (hopefully) get an orchiectomy, we lose a little weight on our stomach (or it redistributes in a more feminine/sexually attractive fashion), we shave our body more often while needing to do so less, etc.. We can blossom into a beautiful woman.

Something that's been happening recently is pretty bad dysphoria attacks that coincide, with or without us realizing, with Rachel fronting. Our goal is simple: let the HRT work its magic, give it a little push, and then Rachel takes over as host. Ray disperses, Jake goes dormant (he doesn't feel like he fits in in our social circle that's mostly trans women since he's on the line between cis and nonbinary, and it embarrasses him). The others come and go as they please.

This post ended up longer than I intended but if you value me/us as a friend or just want an insight into how plurality works for some systems (no two systems are the same but some work similarly), please give this a thorough read. it'd mean a lot to us <3

signing off,

Jake, Ray, Rachel, Refraction, Barry, Calem, Hyperion, Blu-Ray, Rose, Jennifer, Nate, Serena, Maisie, Shockwave, Ginger, Lilith, Spider, Steven, Shelby, and Toby

The Sunbeam Collective

[bitegore]

GOD i wish it were socially acceptable for kids who didn't want to take care of their hair to get their heads shaved regardless of gender. My brother had his hair cut pretty short because he wouldn't shower and it was gross and greasy. I did the same thing and just got the extremely fun experience of being chased round the house and literally pinned to a chair ao my mom could brush the knots out of my hair like once a week. 1 buzz cut would've fixed that (my hair grew in NEARLY STRAIGHT and VERY SILKY after i buzzed it! It doesn't tangle any more!) but we can't have little girls looking like little boys, right? Right?

I was like, 6-10 in this story, i got my first short haircut at 11 and ~mysteriously~ the godawful tangles went away. I still had hair so full of grease you could've used that shit to polish wood until i got it cut very short though bc i could not be bothered taking care of it

[cryptidcrew]

I’m having a moral quandary. Context for anyone who doesn’t know, I’m a self employed dog groomer who works from home.

I have a client who’s in her late 70s, with a lot going on to manage her kidney failure (as she has told me in GREAT depth). Last time she showed up like half an hour past her appointment time and being like :( but whyyyy can’t you groom my dog (cuz you showed up half an hour late).

She says she can’t use a phone at all, so she apparently can’t find my place in a reasonable amount of time, or answer the phone when I call to tell her the dog is ready for pickup. Idk if she showed up at the right time the first time because she came a day early and was there when I was bringing another client’s dog out for pickup so I was just like “??? Ohkay I guess you’re here now” assuming I’d fucked up my schedule and didn’t check til I was back inside with the dog, only to go back and see nope, she had. I *cannot* imagine she’s gonna get here on time tomorrow, at which point I’m gonna have to decide if I’m gonna fire her as a client, which I would without hesitation if it were the average able bodied person.

She has told me where she lives (along with so so so many other very personal details, she’s clearly super lonely and also will overshare for half an hour every time she sees me if I let her) and it’s 20 minutes away. I feel like the good and moral thing would be to say hey old lady. You’ve got a hell of a lot going on and are struggling. Lemme help you out, I’ll come to you and pick him up and drop him off.

Except she also already was raising her eyebrows a bit at the (VERY reasonable) amount I charged last time, just doing the minimum not even the full charge this GODAWFUL GODAWFUL dog getting a challenging cut normally would ring up via my hourly rate, which like ok if you’ve got no income I get it (but also you got this dog and chose this cut) but I have a hard time imagining she would be pleasant when presented with an additional charge for transportation. Cuz that’s an hour 20 of drive time for me. She’s not gonna pay that hourly and honestly I don’t think I’d be willing to deal with the hassle and increased liability for anything less than that.

Also did I mention this dog is Satan incarnate. And of course she wants a clean (shaved, the thing people think of when they think poodle) face on him so I’m having to go with a very short blade near his eyes and lips while he’s trying to take my arm off. Hell. Worst dog I groom hands down.

So like. 10000% I do not want to see this person or this dog ever again, and I’m gonna have to decide if I keep letting her waste my time and lose me money. I took a 50% deposit last time to book this appointment so it won’t be a COMPLETE waste but that’s still half my minimum haircut charge when doing the dog takes me long enough to charge three times that and I have to reserve a double slot for him, so losing me twice as much.

But like also. What else is she gonna do. Idk if she was telling the truth but she said she doesn’t have any family or other help in the area. She found me via a phone only afaik app so idk what the deal was there, if she actually can use the phone or if she does have help (whether they’re consistently there or not idk). Normally after a second or third no show I’ll say no more and no force of manipulation or threats can compel me to do a single thing I’m unwilling to do for a client but man. Man.

[my-haven-my-rules]

enchanted + rapunzel for whichever f/o(s) :D

Oh gosh-- thank you for the ask! (Btw I refer to my s/i's in the third person for simplicity's sake; Summer, in this case.)

I choose... Vi!

Enchanted - What are some new things you or your partner(s) have introduced the other to? Some hobbies you’ve picked up from the other?

Ever since she got back from Stillwater, Vi's been teaching Summer self-defense. Sure, Summer knows the basics and she can shoot gun well enough, but she almost never goes out into the field and prefers to assist the Firelights in a supportive role, so she doesn't really know how to fight melee.

Try as she might, Summer never gets fully comfortable with melee combat, but at least now she knows how to properly throw a punch.

Vi sometimes likes to make these training sessions a little steamy, which then usually leads to some private time. Summer always comes out of it with at least one new hickey.

As for the other way around, Summer's been trying to get Vi into more constructive hobbies aside from fighting, like cooking and crafting. (I've seen a lot of headcanons saying Vi can't cook and I disagree. She's not a Michelin chef but she can make basic meals; she had to if she wanted to better provide for herself and Powder.)

Vi's also begun looking after the kids living in the Sanctuary. It's helping her heal after... well, everything.

It all gives Vi a domesticity that she never thought she'd get; spending time with her significant other, protecting the kids, having the opportunity to just... relax. Her heart swells every time she thinks about it. She cries the first time because the feeling was so overwhelming.

Rapunzel - Have you ever done a home-haircut, where one of you has cut the other’s hair? How did it go? If not, would either of you ever be up to do it, or is that a no-go?

They've never given each other haircuts, nor do they know how to cut hair. Summer just kinda chopped most of hers off while Vi was stuck in Stillwater, and she's kept it neck-length ever since. Don't ask me what Vi did with hers because I don't know how she was able to maintain it in that godawful prison.

Occasionally, however, they like to brush each other's hair. It's relaxing to have gentle, loving hands caress you like that.

[heffrondriving]

BIG TIME RUSH || iHeartRadio Music Awards 2022

[aphrodites-law]

Clarke wakes up eight years in the future, where her college best friend happens to be her girlfriend. Part 2/? (Part 1) 

It turned out her face was enough to unlock her phone, which was pretty cool. Clarke hit the Internet first, frantically searching for the exact date. Every page she found, from news outlets to social media timestamps, had the same leap in time. Websites she knew looked distinctly revamped. It only left her more confused, but mainly she worried her brain was damaged. What the hell had happened? She’d gone to bed yesterday in goddamn 2014, she knew that in her bones. She could still hear the loud music from Lincoln’s party and smell the sweat and booze. 

She searched for wildly different terms next, from time warps to portals and parallel universes, desperate to find a news piece that could explain her predicament. But there was nothing. It made no fucking sense. 

While Lexa sang in the kitchen - one of her dad’s favorite songs, at least some things hadn’t changed - Clarke moved on to clues on her own life. She went through the photo gallery, finding hundreds of snapshots of a life she hadn’t lived. There was no doubt it was her, even with different haircuts and sometimes hair colors. Superficially, Clarke grimaced at her redhead phase. She looked like a poor man’s Ariel. But well… Lexa seemed to enjoy it.

Hesitantly, Clarke clicked play on a video that had a preview of herself and that godawful hair. It was a short seventeen second video where Lexa appeared behind her and started kissing her neck.

“You like it?” video Clarke asked.

“I love it. You look so hot.”

“Raven said I look like a turnip.”

“Mm, is that why I want to eat you?” Lexa asked with a grin.

Clarke blushed when she heard herself and Lexa laugh before the video cut off. But it was only the start of her embarrassment. She scrolled up to a section where some shots had her partially nude, but clearly not the one taking the pictures, while others were of Lexa splayed on the bed wearing racy lingerie. There were several videos slotted between the photos. 

“Oh God, no. Nope.” Clarke scrolled further up, both horrified and fascinated by this peek at a different life. Maybe Lexa and her were… together… here, in this different timeline or whatever it was, but that didn’t give Clarke permission to gawk at her naked body. 

Did it?

Clarke shook her head, chasing the thought away. Her thumb started hurting and she wondered if phones in the future just had insane memory. She found selfies and some landscapes, but for the most part it was Lexa, Raven and other friends she didn’t recognize that featured prominently. It was a full life. An exciting one, by the looks of it.

But it wasn’t hers. 

Come to think of it, it could even be another world. She went back to the browser to search for simple things, like who was the current president, but frowned when she did another search and realized she’d already forgotten said president. She searched it again and then left the page.

Blank. The name and face had vanished from memory. She knew she had searched for it, and gotten the information, yet she couldn’t recall it. 

“What the fuck,” she panicked. 

It was then she realized she couldn’t remember any of the earlier articles she’d glanced at either. Strangely, she remembered which websites she’d gone to, but the actual content was a mystery. She remembered the date, however, and the pictures in the gallery too. 

Trying something else, Clarke searched for Powerball numbers and memorized the numbers, repeating them a few times to be sure she knew them. But once she had left the page, she blanked on the numbers again. She looked at the recent texts she had sent Lexa, finding inside jokes or grocery items, and then closed her eyes. She remembered everything this time, even which emojis Lexa had sent her. 

To Clarke, it was the first clear sign there was something screwing with her. General knowledge of this world was barred to her, while anything that involved her own life seemed unaffected. It was the only rational explanation Clarke could give to a completely irrational situation. But in a way, it was a comfort. It meant something or someone had engineered this. It meant that there were rules, which also had to mean there was a way out. The other option was a weirdly specific type of brain damage and that wasn’t something Clarke wanted to entertain. 

This was still completely insane, but at least she wasn’t transported into a living hell. She dropped the phone and walked to the window, looking out. She didn’t recognize the street at all, but it was quiet and residential. Next she opened the drawer of one of the nightstands, where she found various Polaroids of Lexa and her, love notes on old post-its and an assortment of stuff that meant nothing to her. Clarke still didn’t know what to make of it all. Her mind was mostly just filled with expletives. 

Before going into the kitchen, she debated whether she should tell Lexa the truth. But what exactly could she say? That she was from 2014 and had no memory of the last eight years? She could only imagine the sheer confusion on Lexa’s face, not to mention the concern. Clarke tried to put herself in Lexa’s shoes, envisioning a scenario where Lexa told her that she was from the past or another world and had no idea what she was doing here. She would’ve laughed in her face, honestly, and later on dragged her to a hospital.

Clarke had no desire to go through that, at least for now. What if saying or doing the wrong thing closed the door to her own world? She needed more time to think about it. But then again, what if Lexa could help?

“I should tell her,” Clarke whispered. “I have to tell- ow!”

Clarke looked down and found an angry kitten biting her ankle. It looked up at her and then tried to do it again. So this was Nia.

“Ow, ow, stop!” Clarke stepped away, shooing it with her hands. 

Nia hissed at her, looked toward the door and then back at her. She gave her an angry stare until Clarke felt creepily uncomfortable.

“Did Lexa actually pick you up in Hell?”

Nia tilted her head and bared her tiny teeth.

“Wait, you understood that? No, of course not, you’re a cat. I’m losing my fucking mind.”

“Did you say something?” Lexa asked from the kitchen.  

Clarke froze, knowing that she had to make a quick decision now. But her thoughts went blank when Lexa came in.

“You plotting behind my back?”

“Ha,” Clarke weakly laughed.

“Waffles are ready.”

“Oh, cool. Thanks.”

Lexa frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Actually, I…” Clarke glanced at Nia and found her shooting daggers at her – or at least the equivalent for a kitten. She was pretty certain Nia was going to scratch her to death with her freakishly tiny claws. “Um… I’m fine.”

Lexa picked up Nia, who started purring like a tiny motor.

“She must be tired out.” Lexa smiled as she petted her.

Sure she was. Clarke glared at the ball of fur. “Being a little monster is hard work.”

-

Clarke didn’t really know what to do with herself once they sat in the kitchen. There was a pile of warm waffles platted on the table and an assortment of jam, powdered sugar and syrup. It was her favorite – always had been – but her stomach was in knots. Nia slept in a little bed in the corner, though Clarke didn’t believe for a second that she was fully asleep.

As she watched Lexa start to eat, she couldn’t help but think of how surreal this was. Lexa and her had had breakfast together hundreds of times, but not in their kitchen in their apartment after a night of… well.

Clarke still couldn’t wrap her head around their kiss in the bathroom. Couldn’t wrap her head around being Lexa’s girlfriend. She’d never… It’d never been like that between them. There was innocent flirting and teasing over the years, but nothing that ever crossed a line.

They’d kissed, just once, a few months after meeting in their freshman year. It’d been after Clarke had broken up with her long distance high-school boyfriend. He’d cheated and she’d felt more embarrassed than hurt, but she’d still cried in the middle of a party the following night.

“This doesn’t say anything about you,” Lexa had told her when they’d found a quiet nook. Clarke had been beating herself up and Lexa didn’t want to hear it. “In fact, if you weren’t such a competent best friend I’d have wined and dined you by now. We’d be madly in love with a kid on the way, conceived through the sheer power of love.”

Clarke had laughed, her cheeks still tear-stained. She’d never felt uglier, but leave it to Lexa to make her feel like a catch. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You deserve the world, Clarke. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

Lexa had driven her home shortly after, and before leaving the car Clarke had kissed her. Impulsive. Stupid. But she hadn’t regretted it. Lexa had pulled back and whispered she should get some sleep, and that was that. They’d never mentioned it again.

Costia had come into Lexa’s life soon after that, and then Clarke had met Niylah. Where Costia had been Lexa’s first serious relationship, Niylah and Clarke had been much more casual. Niylah had transferred to another college the following year and they’d both agreed long distance wasn’t for them. Lexa had been there for her then too, though the night had ended with two pints of ice cream rather than a kiss.

For years that had been their dynamic: to be the shoulder to cry on, the sounding board for bad jokes and the source of their daily laughter. Now Clarke looked across the table and saw someone else entirely.

A Lexa she was in love with. A Lexa she was building a life with. A Lexa who kissed her and slept with her and made her knees weak.

“What are you thinking about?” Lexa asked.

Clarke cleared her throat. “You. Us, I guess.”

“Uh oh.”

“Nothing bad!” The last thing Clarke wanted was to harm this relationship. Other Clarke would probably find a way to kill her if she did. “Because of the move and turning…” She wrinkled her nose, “thirty, I’m just reflecting.”

Lexa nodded. “We could’ve timed the move better.”

“No, it’s good,” Clarke insisted. “New chapter and everything.”

“Hm. But are you sure you want to stay in? I could still book reservations at the Green Door. I promise they won’t sing happy birthday.”

Clarke wasn’t sure she was ready to face this world just yet. Ideally, she’d be back in her body and in her own world by tomorrow. Maybe Other Clarke had crippling anxiety about turning thirty and she’d been called upon to replace her for the day. Who the fuck knew.

“You kind of already promised me greasy food, Woods.”

Lexa laughed in surprise. “Woods? Really? Are we back in college?”

Clarke’s eyes widened for a split second. “Uh, well, you wish, grandma.”

“Very clever.”

“Hey I’m still 29 for a day, I get to be a little immature.”

Lexa rested her chin on her hands. “Then you can finally join me on this side of the hill.”

“Is it very boring? Be honest.”

“Just awful. My back hurts, there’s a weird pop in my hip when I walk and we aren’t allowed any candy.”

“Bummer. You know how I love my gummy bears.”

They smiled at each other and Clarke felt a weight lifting off her chest. She saw her Lexa in that smile - in the way they talked and teased each other. In truth, she saw her Lexa regardless of the new lines on her face or her undyed, unbraided hair. She saw her Lexa in every gesture and word. Maybe that was what confused her the most: How she felt so at ease when she had every reason to freak out.

-

After finding her appetite again, Clarke mostly listened to Lexa talk about their day. They were going to do absolutely nothing except watch mind-numbing TV, go for a walk and order takeout later on. But Clarke noticed that she forgot minor things Lexa said, like when she went on a tangent about a current social media trend. As soon as the conversation moved on, Clarke couldn’t recall the details of it. Someone had said something upsetting and Hollywood was up in arms about it. Great. Clarke would make sure she brought back that treasure trove of information to 2014.

After Lexa shooed her away when she offered to help with the dishes, Clarke decided to shower. Maybe that would help clear her mind.

She stood beneath the water for minutes, replaying everything that had happened. There was nothing but a blank between falling asleep in Lincoln’s basement and waking up here, which didn’t bode well. Clarke wondered if her body had vanished or if maybe it was still there and it was only her mind making everything up. But she could pinch herself, feel the heat of the water and smell the citrusy perfume of the shampoo too. Did that mean Other Clarke was in her body? Or did her time… pause? Cease to exist?

The thought made her stomach twist. She couldn’t stand thinking of her Lexa simply vanishing, or anyone she knew for that matter. Lexa had mentioned Raven was in Hawaii, so at least she was around. Or was it a different Raven? Maybe the entire population was suddenly living out an alternate timeline. God, this was all so confusing.

“Any hot water left?”

“Oh my Go- Lexa!”

Clarke’s heart leapt when she felt Lexa’s hands on her hips. Lexa laughed before resting her chin on her shoulder.

“You’re jumpy today.”

“I-I’m not, I just-”

Lexa pulled her body closer and Clarke’s mind went completely blank. She felt her breasts against her back and her warm, soft skin.

Lexa sweetly kissed her cheek. “I was thinking we could go to the park after. There aren’t too many people in the morning and we can pick up the takeout on the way back.”

And this was a conversation for the shower? Clarke could barely even breathe with Lexa’s face so close to hers. She felt Lexa’s arms around her waist and suddenly realized she had covered her hands with her own, and that her body had leaned into Lexa’s hold, as if from muscle memory. It was… nice. Comforting. Like nothing could get to them.

“Let’s do that,” Clarke squeaked out.

Lexa pulled them slightly away from the water stream. “You smell good,” she mumbled before kissing her neck.

Jesus Christ. Lexa certainly liked that spot too. Everything seemed straight out of a dream, except it was real, it was Lexa, and Clarke had never felt so painfully turned on. It was so stunning that she couldn’t even think of what to say. Of course she remembered their earlier kiss and how it had felt so intimate. How she wanted to do it again, yet couldn’t, because this Lexa… was in love with her, and kissing naked in the shower had a pretty high chance of leading to sex.

Sex that could under no circumstance happen.  

Even if her entire body wanted it. Badly.

It wasn’t like Clarke had had the greatest sex in her life so far. Finn had been bumbling at best, whereas her relationship with Niylah had been too short-lived to explore beyond fingers. She had an on-again, off-again relationship with Cillian now, but he had no interest in moving his mouth below her tits. It wasn’t a terrible secret or anything, but Clarke had never had anyone go down on her. Which was why she’d never be able to look her Lexa in the eyes again if this Lexa was her first.

Unfortunately for her willpower, Lexa didn’t have the same line of thought at all. Her hands had inched lower to her hips and all at once Clarke realized she was naked, wet, and breathing hard. This damn body was going to betray her.

Maybe she could pretend it wasn’t her best friend touching her. It was just… sexual needs being taken care of. It was nature. Clarke closed her eyes and tried to picture someone else, anyone else, but Lexa started whispering in her ear the things she had planned for her, and even with the hiss of the shower Clarke couldn’t unhear her voice.

“I know you’ve been feeling down, baby, but you’re so fucking hot,” she said between kisses.

So.

Maybe Other Clarke was dealing with some body issues. Okay. Fine. Clarke could help her cope with that. She could listen to Lexa’s compliments for Other Clarke’s sake.

“This weekend is all you,” Lexa continued. “I’m going to take such good care of you, I don’t think you’ll even remember your name.”

Overwhelmed, Clarke craned her neck to look at Lexa. As if they’d done this a thousand times before, Lexa kissed her immediately. Even if it surprised her, Clarke could only follow her body’s desires. Her mouth opened and their tongues touched, and with that Clarke knew she was done for. It was the most erotic kiss of her life and it had barely even started.

Lexa’s hands left her hips, slowly caressing her sides before she cupped her breasts. Clarke felt a powerful jolt of desire and moaned loudly. It emboldened Lexa, who now toyed with her nipples, exactly how Clarke liked to be touched.

The heat of the shower made her dizzy, or maybe it was just that Lexa was palming her breasts while kissing her deeply and grinding against her. Maybe.

“I want to fuck you,” Lexa breathed hotly against her mouth. One of her hands went down her stomach and between her legs, barely brushing against her folds before Clarke reached down to stop her.   

“Lex- Lexa, wait. Oh, fuck.” She squeezed her hand but didn’t move it, unsure what she even wanted. Lexa was so fucking close to touching her. So close to sliding deep inside her and easing the pulsing ache tormenting her. She’d never felt this needy before. This desperate for release.

“What is it? What do you want?” Lexa asked her, her voice less steady than before. “I’ll give you anything.”

“I-I want to… N-nh,” Clarke squeezed her eyes shut to focus. She had to snap out of it fast or Lexa would be knuckle deep inside her and there really wasn’t any going back from that. “I want to go slower,” she blurted out.

To her surprise, Lexa pulled back with a smirk and let go of her. “I can give you slow.”

Clarke leaned against the tiled wall, very careful to keep her eyes above Lexa's neck. But even Lexa’s smug smile was doing things to her and how was that even fair?

Lexa gave her a wet kiss before stepping beneath the shower stream looking very pleased with herself. Like she was already two steps ahead. Clarke couldn’t help but think she’d just made things worse.

And by worse, she meant very difficult to resist.

- 

Part 3

[bottoms-movie]

SAMBUCKY FIC RECS PT. 2

The first part did really really so I decided to make a second part of sambucky fic recs. Just as the last one: the fics are split into three categories: based on tfatws, canon divergence, and au. CHECK OUT PART ONE HERE All fics are completed and all are on AO3. 

BASED ON TFATWS

The Truths Beneath Our Ribs | Mature | 6,742 words

5 times Bucky wears Sam's things +1 time Sam wears something of Bucky's

anything you can do, i’ll do you better | Explicit | 5,526 words

Steve is going to kill them if they don't learn to get along, but did they have to take it so far?

making amends | Explicit | 8,645 words

“Not Cap yet,” Sam said. He looked a little ruefully at his hands, which were covered in nicks and cuts. He could already feel his palms bruising from that last shield catch, but at least nothing was broken this time.

“I respect that,” Bucky said slowly. Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Bucky flexed and unflexed the vibranium fingers of his left hand, a nervous habit that Sam had clocked ages ago. “And you’re right.”

“Thanks, I know.” Sam waited a beat. “About what?”

Muscle Memory | 3 parts | Explicit | 13,156 words part 1: Muscle Memory | Teen | 1,766 words

Barnes sighs, and it’s a deep, soul-weary thing. “Maybe no one ever told you this, but I’m telling you right now. You don’t have any obligation to care about me because Steve did. You don’t have to pretend.”

Sam blinks, taken aback. He has to think, really think, about what he says next, because it’s - it’s either going to build or break something.

You’re My World | Explicit | 6,585 words

“I… oh, I get it now.” Sam tilted his head, perceptive as ever, goddammit. “All this flirting with my sister, that was just to get my attention, wasn’t it? I know it was. Say it.”

“That wasn’t—” Bucky croaked, but Sam wasn’t having it.

He huffed a low laugh, and bulldozed right through Bucky’s feeble pretense. “You like it when I pin you against the wall? Take away all that power you have, that strength that your arm gives you? Make you feel small, maybe?”

Call Me By Your (Pet) Name | Teen | 6,928 words

“You got a list of the nicknames available to us lesser mortals?” Sam continued, staring straight ahead at the seat in front of him. “The ‘you’re not Steve Rogers, so don’t even think about it’ collection?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a list,” Bucky replied, pausing long enough to draw a pointed look from Sam. “Bucky,” he finished, gesturing broadly with his arm to convey the obviousness of the answer.

5 times Sam and Bucky used pet names as a joke + 1 time they used them in earnest

That’s not very gunkle of you | 2 parts | 4,325 words part 1: Bestie Vibes Only | Teen | 1,822 words

“What’s buzzin’ cousin?” Says Bucky, sitting down next to Sam on the docks.

That’s the moment that Sam realizes he needs to change tactics, no more subtly looking up definitions for his weird old person slang, it’s time to fight fire with fire.

“Not much bro, this view is highkey just hitting different TBH” he says, casually looking out at the water.

There’s a beat of silence and then,

“That’s swell doll, I just ate some four-o cackle jelly with side arms, and I’m looking for some kicks, you dig?

Oh, this means war.

misunderstandings | Not Rated | 3,167 words

Sam thinks Sarah and Bucky had a date, and he's Not Okay

you walked into my life to offer me a better view | Teen | 2,534 words

He was standing twenty feet away at the edge of the docks, chatting with Sarah, and Sam couldn't take his eyes away. Bucky's smile was warm, wide, and when he tipped his head back and laughed, his nose scrunching up and eyes crinkling at the corners, Sam could feel it vibrate straight to his heart.

falling, falling, flying | Teen | 2,778 words

Bucky had kissed him.

And Sam had pulled away, because that beautiful golden sunset made Bucky’s hair gleam with the faintest touch of blond, that rare summer breeze hissed like a dying missile past Sam’s ears, the kiss was so familiar, too familiar, and Sam was falling, falling—

(“Let yourself be happy, Sam. Please.”)

lonely boy, you are my world (and i could be anything you need) | Teen | 5,747 words

It all starts with Sam, a shelter, and this sweet kitten that reminded him far too much of a certain century-old, grouchy super soldier.

too dangerous to fall | Explicit | 3,466 words

Bucky Barnes is a one-armed menace. He has murder eyes and no care for basic safety protocols. His jokes are terrible and his bad moods are worse. He’s a godawful roommate who leaves his wet towels on the floor and his combat knives in the linen cabinet. Sam can’t stand the sight of him.

What happens in Louisiana | General | 3,478 words

But just then, in the engine room of the Wilson family boat, away from prying eyes, it felt like something they both needed. The closeness. The warmth.

Steve would laugh at them. Two grown men not being able to get it together. He would roll his eyes at Buck, nudge him with his elbow and tell him “you’re sweet on Sam Wilson so make a move already, punk.”

keep the ashes from my heart (and walk away) | Explicit | 4,412 words

“Jamie asked me out on a date,” Sam says. Bucky swallows. “Took him long enough,” he says, keeping his tone light. He bumps their shoulders together for good measure. “You should go for it.” “You really think so?” Sam asks, looking at him. “Yeah, man,” Bucky says. He fixes his gaze on Torres, high up in the sky, sunlight glinting off his wings. It hurts Bucky’s eyes. He blinks, rapidly. “You should be with somebody who can make you happy.”

(In which Sam starts dating someone who is not Bucky, and Bucky pines, gets seriously injured, and proves himself wrong.)

Hey Samuel | Teen | 3,223 words

"Bucky."

"Yeah?" He looked up eyes wide. Did he say something out loud?

"We're walking the wrong way."

"Oh." Right. Um. "Let's get ice cream."

"I don't know about you, man, but if I eat ice cream in this weather I will get sick."

Bucky was at a loss for words. What now?

OR Ride along Bucky's journey of figuring out when exactly did he fall for Sam Wilson.

Anyday, everyday | General | 6,735 words

He moved his head and locked eyes with Sam. "D'you- can you.. help me cut my hair?" He asked. He forced himself to look away, feeling embarrassed for asking him to come all this way just to give him a haircut.

His stomach dropped when he felt Sam let go of his hand to stand up. Of course he was about to leave. Who wouldn't want to leave Bucky?

"C'mon, Buck. Let me cut your hair." Bucky's eyes snapped up to Sam's. He had a small smile on his face and his hand was reaching out, waiting for Bucky to take it.

Or; the five times Bucky fell more and more in love with Sam, and the one time he finally got the guts to tell him.

If You’ll Have Me | Teen | 4,779 words

Sam casually shrugged, although there was an intent look in his eyes, "Yeah, well it's getting late and I didn't feel like flying anymore so I was wondering if your old man self is okay with-"

"You can stay here." Bucky quickly finished for him.

I like Bucky, Sam I am | Not Rated | 2,653 words

"I would kiss you on the boat. Or in Wakanda by your goats."

Static in the Dark | Teen | 4,989 words

So prompt idea, some bad guy follows Bucky to the docks for revenge (over whatever you can decide) and Sarah gets to see how protective Bucky really is over Sam when he gets in the line of fire

CANON DIVERGENCE

A Different Kind of Problem | Explicit | 7,616 words

“Do you know what it feels like to be insatiable?”

Two months ago, an interrogation gone wrong left Sam with Bucky’s explicit words seared into his brain and body.

Now, Bucky is living in the Avengers Compound, making pancakes and wearing Steve’s huge sweatshirts, fluffy haired and a little shy, seemingly completely content to be on house arrest — and Sam has never been more confused. Whatever Steve thinks, Sam doesn’t have a problem with Bucky. This domesticity is just so at odds with the feral sexuality Bucky had used to rattle Sam during his interrogation. Where did that side of Bucky go? And why can’t Sam stop thinking about finding it? Maybe Sam does have a problem with Bucky… it’s just not the problem Steve thinks it is.

Bucky’s Choice | Not Rated | 4,753 words

When Bucky enters Westview to try to help Wanda Maximoff, he is confronted with something he never expected- Steve Rogers, back from the dead and ready to start a life with Bucky in Westview. It's everything that Bucky ever wanted, everything that Steve abandoned when he went back in time to live his life with Peggy Carter. But Bucky and Sam have been involved for months, and Sam is waiting for Bucky outside of the Hex. Bucky has to make a choice- the life he always wanted with Steve, or a new start with Sam?

tonight i’ll need you to stay | General | 2,227 words

For once, Bucky wants to stop leaving when things are finally looking up. And he wants people to stay with him, too.

(or, 3 times bucky needed an excuse to stay with sam, and the one time he didn't)

How to Win a Supersoldier in Ten Days | Explicit | 14,901 words

When they realize that all the Winter Soldier's interactions with Sam are just him trying to Awkward MurderBot Flirt (TM) with the sexy man, Steve, Tony, and Nat convince Sam to play the honeypot and bring Bucky in.

Sam's pretty sure the honeypot isn't supposed to fall in love with the target, but what can you do?

at the end of the war (what’s mine is yours) | Mature | 4,290 words

They don't talk about it: that's how it works.

warm blood (feels good, i can’t control it anymore) | Explicit | 4,492 words

Sam's just chilling watching TV one evening when Bucky comes in and stares at him silently for a minute or two before sitting down on the couch. He's pretty close to Sam.

Okay, he's really close to Sam. Like, Sam would be using the word 'cuddling' if it wasn't so bizarre.

"What," he says, carefully not looking at Bucky, and Bucky huffs a sigh.

"Steve's not here," he says as if it's obvious. "Don't make it weird. Just- shut up."

Caught With Their Pants Down | Explicit | 3,539 words

“Sam, this guy is not coming, the intel was false,” Bucky replied. “I get this whole ticking boxes and what not, but Rogers got it wrong, and for the love of God I need a fucking toilet.”

“You need to learn to plan your water intake better, is what you need. You’re a damn fool and I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“Because you love me,” Bucky replied, and Sam could hear the smile in his voice.

“In your damn dreams, Barnes.”

They’d been fucking for about six months, but Sam didn’t want Bucky to go getting a big head about it.

AU

sharp teeth, soft heart | 3 parts | 17,866 words part 1: you touch me within and so i (know i could be human once again) | Explicit | 12,444 words 

It’s inevitable, the way it goes. He’s my friend, Steve says, and he is, he is, he must be. Sam’s best friend is Steve, and Steve’s best friend is a werewolf, that’s just how Sam’s life works now.

But once he realizes he’s attracted to Bucky and Bucky can tell, everything becomes, like, a thousand percent more difficult to negotiate. Sam’s just trying to live his life, that’s all, and he keeps getting confronted by Bucky Barnes in a soft flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up, hair all soft and shiny. Bucky glances over at him and smirks, and this is really very embarrassing, how Sam can’t hide his attraction even if he keeps a totally straight face.

I’m so into you I can barely breathe | Explicit | 6,515 words

Sam Wilson had a long day dealing with morons, so he decided to finally go to the famous club in town. There he meets someone who just might get him back in a good mood. And then some.

twelve ounce steak (boxers in briefs) | Explicit | 3,753 words

Sam has pretty lips. Bucky seems to think so, too.

caught it bad (i’ll be on the way) | Mature | 4,830 words

Sam constantly gets roped into doing dumb things with Steve, but this time, it works out perfectly for him.

meet me in the a.m. | Teen | 3,147 words

Steve accidently starts a fire and Bucky's tired. When unbelievably hot firefighter Sam saves the day, though, he can't really be that mad.

i wanna savour, save it for later | Not Rated | 6,419 words

"It's his damn ratings, man," Sam says. "It's weird 'cause when you read the reviews, he seems to like our food and all. Nothing but praise for days. And then you get to the rating, and it's always the same. Three goddamn stars."

Bucky tips his beer bottle from side to side, lips pursing slightly. "I see. And that's… a bad thing?"

"We are not a three-star joint," Sam says flatly.

Or, the one where food truck owner Sam gets caught up in his quest to unmask an anonymous food blogger. Falling for one of his regulars was never on the menu.

we were a fire with no smoke | Explicit | 15,295 words

Sam can’t help but roll his eyes. Take the boys out of New York but they’re still Brooklyn Catholics, that’s clear enough. Bucky catches the gesture, smirks hard enough Sam can see his eye teeth. It should be dangerous but he’s beautiful, pale and charming and recklessly easy.

“You wanna come in?” Sam asks, ignoring the noise Steve makes, and Bucky’s smile gets wider.

“Yeah,” he says. Steps up close to Sam. “I do.”

my house of stone, your ivy grows | Teen | 9,042 words

When Sam Wilson inherits the manor of the old man he once took care of, it feels like his luck is finally looking up. It's an opportunity for a fresh start, something he's in desperate need of. When he arrives, however, it becomes clear that an easy transition into estate living is not exactly a possibility. The house is run-down, nothing like Sam remembers it, and the groundskeeper — who Sam apparently has to share the house with, wants nothing to do with him.

You Smiled Because You Knew | Teen | 3,754 words

"You've got the wrong address," the man who'd answered growled. He had long, scraggly hair that had mostly escaped his attempts to pull it away from his face. He had nice eyes, and wouldn't have been unattractive, especially with a shave, except for the scowl. "Nobody here wants or needs your . . . services."

It was apparent by the tone the man did not appreciate Sam's hard work.

Well, that was tough shit.

[love-geeky-fangirl]

Lmao that other anon needs to take a step back and realize that Rachel literally never actively sabotaged any of Ross's relationships. The whole thing with Bonnie shaving her head shouldn't have even BOTHERED Ross, like Bonnie is her own woman and can do w/e the fuck she likes with her own body, and even before Rachel falsely said she loved the look, Bonnie just noted on how she missed having a bald head. Frankly that entire scenario makes Ross look more like a jerk than Rachel. I mean, you're dating a hot woman who you have great s*x with, and you can't handle her being bald? Talk about being a shallow moron.

The whole thing with Emily is also ridiculous because Rachel came in with the intention of telling Ross, but then stopped when she saw that he loved Emily. That's the main thing, SHE DIDNT DO IT. she didn't tell Ross or convince him to say her name at the altar, he did that by himself! He pretty much shot himself in the foot with that whole situation and frankly the entire narrative made Emily look bad, not just Rachel or even the other characters who were friends of Ross' and ofc would sooner pick his side. Rachel was more of a side victim in the scenario that Ross created for himself in the first place. No one told him to say her name, she just came and wished him well even when she had bad intentions. In comparison, Ross had to LITERALLY be held back by Chandler before he would try to go and sabotage Rachel's date with Mark. He tries to run Rachel's dating life so many repeated times in the show which is something that Rachel never actively does for him. Does she consider it at times or influence it? Yeah, but she never crosses the line like withholding a phone number or message from Ross. I'm not even going to go into how godawful Ross is towards her or even the other friends and esp his sister because it'll be a mile long message but while the other friends have had bad moments, Ross is a whiny, immature, selfish grown man who constantly needs everyone around him to cater to his own selfish need for validation. That is literally what all the friends DO for him. Whenever Chandler or Joey are shitty towards the women they date, the other friends call it for what it is and they even get their comeuppance in the narrative. Ross is made fun of but is never called out for it and never changes his behavior. THIS IS WHY he's worse.

True! Like it did bug me when she tricked Pheobe into giving Julie a bad haircut or when she loaned Bonnie the razor because it was very petty. However Bonnie wanted to shave her head and would have done it anyway. Ross looked like a shallow jerk in that whole situation. When she flew to London with the intention to stop Ross's wedding it was selfish but she ended up NOT DOING IT. Instead she quietly sat there and watch him get married.

Ross is a whole other story. Like you said, he hides her messages from other guys, sent that guy that she was flirting with in season 2 away and Chandler had to PHYSICALLY restrain him from interrupting her date with Mark.

Ross is called out on his bad behavior by Monica in season 3 (I loved that scene), Joey in season 1 with that whole: "Oh no how could she (date other people)? When she never expressed any interest in you!" but mostly he is treated by the good Nice Guy who is actually really sweet just unlucky in love.

[neverenoughq]

Q hair - ranked!

It's time to RANK! Q'S! HAIR! 

I've taken one screenshot per episode, with the exception of episodes where two styles appear. 

Starting with the worst first...

Source: The Pilot RANK: 9th It's godawful. I have trouble looking at it. He's really having to act *in spite of* his hair here.

Source: Qpid 

RANK: 8th 

I HATE this. I really wanted to rank this one worst, because my hatred of it inspired this list. But at least with this haircut, I can *pretend* the mullet in the back isn't there. Also it's not always in the shot. It's such a shame, because there are some great moments in this episode spoilt by the hair.

Source: Hide and Q (style 2) 

RANK: 7th 

This is a step in the right direction, but it's still too short.

Source: Hide and Q (style 1) 

RANK: 6th 

This is slightly better because it's messier.

Source: Deja Q 

RANK: 5th

I don't like this haircut. It's too blow-dried. It seems to accentuate his receding hairline.

Source: True Q 

RANK: 4th 

Thoroughly average Q hair.

Source: Tapestry 

RANK: 3rd 

I like the height of this. It's great Q hair, and the only thing holding it back is I think there's too much product in it. It's too tame.

Source: All Good Things... 

RANK: 2nd 

This was a surprise for me. I wouldn't have guessed this episode would be so high. But I cannot find any fault with this hair, and I have a soft spot for the greys.

Source: Q Who 

RANK: 1st 

This is my favorite Q hair, fight me. Nothing comes close to the pure wicked wildness of the hair. It's childish. It's so fitting with the episode's content. 

IT IS THE BEST Q HAIR. 

POSSIBLY THE BEST HAIR PERIOD. 

... and the honorable mention goes to ...

Source: Qpid (style 2)

Because the goatee somehow makes the horrible mullet hair work.

[scaryscarecrows]

Are there alternative POVs to your Whumotober chapter 5, Where do you Think You're Going? I'd love to see what Bruce, Dick, or Jim had going through their head at the time.

Took some digging, but I found a little bit. Maybe one day I'll finish it...

Bruce, in true Bruce fashion, hears ‘Joker’s escaped’ and hurtles off into the night without so much as an ‘I’ll keep in touch’. Because he won’t. Because Batman is above such petty things as ‘communication’.

Dick’s not bitter at all. He promises.

Whatever. Bruce’s Bruce-ness means that Dick’s the one hanging around the asylum to deal with that fallout when Gordon’s voice goes panicked and he spits out, “Dove, you have to get outta there--”

Okay, that’s weird. One, Dove Marquis (that’s gotta be who’s on the other line, right) is usually at work, and Penguin’s been...quiet...lately. Dick needs to drop in on him, poke him a little for fun. But two, Dove’s usually not, like, in the line of fire. She does her job and goes home and minds her own business. If this is Joker-related (probably), there is literally no reason for him to be interested in her. Dove, like every other person with half a brain, avoids the clown at all costs.

“But--Dove. Dove, listen. Joker is out, he murdered his way out earlier tonight and that’s probably why, you need to go.”

Dick has never been more confused.

“For--fine. Fine. I’ll have someone over there as soon as possible, just--dammit.”

Gordon snaps his phone shut, looks around, and marches over to Dick.

“Nightwing,” he says, voice still freaked, “we may have a lead.”

“Commissioner?”

“I need you to go over to Dove Marquis’s apartment. Do you know where that is?”

Either he ruins the Bat-reputation of knowing everything, or he admits they’re all stalkers. There’s no winning here.

“Yes. Why?”

“Dove found Robin.”

The ground pitches under his feet. Jason’s been missing for months, and Joker...Joker’s been chatty about it. Dick had snapped the bastard’s arm the first time he started cackling about ‘so pretty when he screams’, but that hadn’t stopped him. Not even close.

Oh, God, Jay.

“You’re sure?” he demands, because he can’t do this, he can’t take many more false leads. “You’re positive?”

“That’s what she said, and I doubt there’s that many kids running around in a cape. Said she found him here--she had business for Penguin, I guess--”

“Robin?” Bullock’s suddenly there too, toothpick stilled between his teeth. “Dove’s got the kid?”

Dove. Jason. Joker.

Okay. Okay, okay. If he takes the bike off the island to the edge of town, he can take two shortcuts on the rooftops and be there in fifteen minutes, easy. Maybe even less, if he can catch the train.

* * *

The first thing he sees is the crowd in the street. The second thing he sees is the mangled corpse they’re gawking at. Paper-white skin, purple clothes, that godawful grin splitting the face even in death. The mask says he’s been shot several times, and when Dick looks up, he zeros in on a shattered window.

Jason--

“Batman,” he barks out, already firing his grapnel gun at the balcony he wants, “get to my location now.”

“What--”

He signs off. He does not need Bruce yapping in his ear, not right this minute. Joker’s dead. He’s just hoping Jason isn’t.

Mask says two people, one armed. Two alive people, though, and the unarmed one is small. So Dick throws manners out the window and bursts out of the bedroom.

Jay. He’s not. He…

Christ, he looks bad. Cut and bruised and broken and desperately thin, like he was at the start. But he’s alive, he’s breathing, and honestly, Dick had started to think…

He’s asleep, half on the couch and half on Dove, and wrapped in a big yellow comforter. She’s clearly cleaned him up at least some; that gash on his nose looks like it bled something awful.

“Nightwing.” Dove’s voice is rough. “Been a bit, kid.”

Yeah, he...hasn’t seen her since...geeze, since he got a haircut, at least. It’s been a while, all right.

“Did you…”

“Thought he had a gun. He was gonna come through the glass.” Jason shifts, shivering under the comforter. “His ankle’s messed up, an’ he’s sick.”

Better sick than dead.

“I. I’m just.” Keep it together, Dickie. “Little Wing?” He wants desperately to use his brother’s name; Robin is too...it’s too impersonal, right now. “Wake up.”

Jason, ever the stubborn little brat, does not. Dove moves and Dick catches the glint of a handgun. Little thing. If that’s what killed Joker--and he’s sure it is--it belongs in a museum.

Who knows. Maybe Penguin will do exactly that.

“Nightwing’s here to pick ya up, kiddo,” Dove’s saying now. “Wake up.”

Finally, finally, Jason’s eyes flutter open and he mumbles, “‘Wing?”

Oh, thank God.

“Hey, brat,” he says, crouches down to reach out to brush his fingers against Jason’s head. He is warm, but he’s real and here and alive. Everything else can come later. “Ready to go home?”

“Mm.”

“C’mon, I’m gonna pick you up. Please don’t bite me.”

It’s a valid concern. Last time Dick tried to pick up a sleepy Jason, he’d been chomped on hard enough to leave indents in his shoulder.

“Was one time. An’ you scared me.”

There is no biting when Dick carefully gets Jason into his arms and stands up. He’s lighter than he has any right to be, and now, up close, Dick can see new things. Track marks and finger-shaped bruises and evidence of broken things that haven’t healed right, or at all.

He’s only fifteen.

He looks so much younger.

“Thank you,” he says, and means it. If Joker...if he’d gotten him back, that would have been the end. They’d have found him, all right, dead. Dick’s been dealing with the Joker only a year and a half less than Bruce. He knows what he’s capable of, what he would have done. “Thank you for...for all of this.”

Now that he looks, she doesn’t look right, either. Her eyes are very far away.

“Get him home,” she says, and her voice is strong and solid. “It’s late. Jim’ll be here soon.”

Batman, too. Which is great, because Dick’s not balancing Jason on the bike. That’s just asking for trouble.

[gotyouanyway]

First Elliot Page got that godawful haircut. The bangs look absolutely atrocious. Now he’s wearing the most boring prom-ass outfit to the MET GALA. Come on bro

IT'S TOO BIG FOR HIM TOO and with the clunky bad shoes bro!! i know you know you look 16 WHO has a gun to your head