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#the guilt trip was too strong
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always fun when menschen mir folgen als ob mein letzter post/reblog nicht literally 2 jahre her ist 🫵🏻😩 sorry to disappoint omg und mein letztes artwork war 2021...
anyway i got something cooking for you:
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inside me are two wolves fighting; one wants to make skinny scrawny, the other wants to make him beefy
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suncaptor · 2 years
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Hi, unfortunately, I am making a donation post! I've had some difficulties recently due to health, sudden bills, and huge living inflation that have made me have no financial stability. Anything including reblogging this post is truly greatly appreciated.
Here are some places to donate dm me if there's any other platforms!
Pay Suncaptor using PayPal.Me
(dm if you need my personal/non business one!)
revolut.me/remsun
ve.nmo: remnova
I am actually making a donation post while things are genuinely unstable as I had a lot of sudden issues I could not have predicted come up. I want to be able to safely get through this quarter and find a place to live so I can then try to get back on finaid in March and finish my degree up within the year.
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pepprs · 1 year
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feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair
#purrs#delete later#basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize#evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of#it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like..#feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being#quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and#wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke.#i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be#this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about#myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what#happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome#this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music +#realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal#anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️#at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is#just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳#this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year
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youtube
That manipulative, guilt-tripping, gaslighting and condescending ex-friend I've been subposting about every now and then for several months because his actions and words have made a paranoid wreck out of me, who suddenly stonewalled me three months ago after I set up my very first impersonal boundary with him, and then I just never reached out to him again because I realized what he was trying to do was get me to crawl on my knees and ask HIM for forgiveness for hurting ME... he messaged me today. With a laundry list of excuses and justifications in the form of an "apology" filled with fake compliments and self-pity and words put into my own mouth that I had never said to him.
I let him HAAAAAAVE it motherfucker. Well Mr. Krabs, do you wanna know what I think?
#tales from diana#i almost feel bad for him but i know i shouldnt!!!! hes a lying manipulating ass bullshitting bullshitter!!!!!!#he did this right before i had to leave for my brother's wedding rehearsal. asshole#still thinking even though it's been three months wo acknowledging him. he still thinks i dont have anything to do than attend to his needs#truly. he's a pathetic narcissistic little boy.#this is precisely WHY i knew i NEVER should've talked to him. bc i knew he was gonna be manipulative and guilt-tripping#and he'd MAKE ME SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM!!!!! AGAIN!!!!! I DO FEEL BAD EVEN THOUGH IM STRONG IN MY CONVICTIONS I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO HIM#until today when i had to call him out for burdening me WAY to much when i DID NOT fucking ask to hear from him#let alone with him bringing up all this bullshit ive been trying to move on from#fuck the fuck off!!!!!! fuck all the way off!!!!!!!!!!!!#leave my friends alone too stop dragging them into this#he is way too good at wringing sympathy out of other ppl if ive been self-aware of my problem with him#for at least three months not to mention he used me and manipulated me for MANY MANY MONTHS#EVERY SINGLE DAY HE WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE FOR HOURS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR MONTHS#and *I* felt bad for *HIM* and bc he made me feel like *I* could never look out for *MYSELF*#for MY OWN NEEDS#GO TO FUCKING HELL DUDE!!!!!!! GO TO HELL#the way im typing these tags is actually not representative at all to what i said to him#but i did assert myself that i was angry and he was approaching me on terms that were good for him not that were good for me#and that he knew i wanted to talk to him on my own time.#i was originally jsut going to tell him sternly but drily that i dont wanna be friends anymore i want to cut ties completely#oh but he made me be MEAN about it. WELL THATS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR!!!!! ITS WHAT YOU BEGGED FOR#go cry about you shitass motherfucker#ive wiped more than enough of your fucking tears for a lifetime. seriously go fuck yourself#(again this is nothing like what i said to him. i didnt even swear. but any truth i tell him is more than he wants to hear)#(to him there'll be no difference)#well :) i have to make peace w that fact... and i blocked him at long last. so. im just gonna have to be the bad guy#ill have to tell my friends about it over the weekend or... sometime i guess#MY BROTHER'S FUCKING WEDDING IS THIS WEEKEND and he does this to me. fuckkkkkk offfffffff. we love your considerate timing bro#i hate him :) i seriously fucking hate him
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vaugarde · 1 year
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also it kinda makes no sense to push the idea that leopardstar was this pariah outcast bc her mom died when she was born when TPB had her as like this vain and brutal person who commits war crimes and violence and shit while being a Girlboss or something crookedstar’s promise furthers that by saying her mother dying made everyone spoil her and put the idea in her head that she was special and couldnt do wrong. i know writing antagonistic protagonists that genuinely fuck up bc theyre bad people and have to work to earn everyone’s trust back makes the erins scream and cry and throw up and everyone has to be a sympathetic baby who was bullied and outcast and thats why they do war crimes now but yknow they could at least shake it up a bit
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derealizes · 10 months
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wow you really don't care do you? you're so fucking selfish. i'm doing everything i fucking can to keep it together and i'm failing but look at you, relaxing and being happy and taking all those slivers of joys for yourself. it's like you dont even fucking care about me isn't it. you wont comfort me right because you don't love me enough do you? I'm just convenient for you . your stupid fucking pack mule your slave your permanent c*ret*ker just so you can tell me to take my baggage somewhere else huh. well i loved you. i still love you . don't you care??? how can you be so fucking heartless while looking so cute? or do you. i love you. now love me back. care. care about me. fucking give a shit. for once. love me. love me. love me.
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sunsburns · 4 months
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been thinking about dating college!art and you get into a really big fight until he decides to show up at your dorm *cough* make up sex *cough*
i had wayy too much fun with this… SMUT 17+
“i’m still mad at you, you know.” there’s no real bite to your bark, not when your voice is breathless, your cheeks are flushed, and your hands keep running through his hair.
“yeah, i know,” art drawls, his voice softening. he says it because a part of him knows it’s true, but he can’t help the faint smile that grows on his face. he knows you won’t stay mad for long, but he still feels the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. he’d do anything to make it up to you. with every press of his lips, he mutters a quiet “i’m sorry,” against your skin, then grazes his teeth along your ankle before making his way up your leg.
he’d thought of a million different things to say to you, how he would stand his ground or cave to your defences. but all of it was thrown out the window the moment you opened that door. you were wearing his shirt—or maybe it was patrick’s, maybe even tashi’s—and a pair of panties. the sight of your messy desk, covered in textbooks, notebooks, and your open laptop, reminded him you were doing homework, or trying to. but the ache in his chest at the thought of you hating him was overwhelming.
it was killing him knowing you were upset, and he was the cause of it. that’s why art had taken a trip to the nearest farmer’s market the moment he was off the court, and he bought you flowers and your favourite snack and knocked on your door.
now the flowers are forgotten by your desk, the snacks on the floor, and you’re still trying to keep up the act that you’re mad at art. but the truth is, you can’t even remember what you were mad at him about in the first place. 
the way he looks at you, with such earnest remorse and tenderness, makes it hard to hold onto your anger. you sigh, running your fingers through his hair again, feeling the tension between you start to melt away.
“i hate how you do this to me,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. art’s eyes meet yours, and he pauses, his lips hovering just above your knee.
“i know,” he says again, his voice filled with a mix of regret and hope. his hands roam up the sides of your thighs, fingers brushing your ass before they turn into the curve between your legs. “but i’m here now,” he presses a kiss against your hot skin again, making his way up, up, and up. “and i want to make it right.”
as he continues his gentle kisses, moving slowly and tenderly, you feel your defences crumbling. the anger that once felt so strong is now just a distant memory. art’s presence, his touch, his voice, his words, all of him- it’s all you can think about.
he looks up at you, sitting on the bed while he kneels before you. you’re watching him, waiting for his next move when he is still between your legs. 
when you run your nails against his scalp, art doesn't bother hiding the quiet whimper that slips past his lips before he closes his eyes and leans his head towards your arm. 
he lets you hold him while his hands trail up your sides, reaching and groping anything he can before his fingers tug at your panties, and he carefully slips them off you.
when he kisses your clit, you rest your leg over his shoulder, heel pressing against the muscles of his back. his arms wrap around your thighs, pulling you closer while he starts to eat you out. 
art starts slow, calculated strokes of his tongue against you, running it in tight circles against your clit, dipping it lower when he gets a little more confident. when you arch your back and whine, pushing his head closer so you can ride his face, he starts to pick up the pace, hoping to hear that sound come out of you again.
when his tongue pokes at your cunt, it draws a loud moan out of you, blood rushing to your ears. “fuck, art,” you whimper, grinding against his face. “feels so good.”
art seems to like it more than you, eyes closed in bliss, humming and moaning against your cunt, each vibration from his mouth making you spiral. his hips buck up into nothing, but he doesn't seem to mind as his hands hold onto you tighter, as if he is afraid to lose you. 
“you’re so pretty like this,” you barely manage to get out, your heart thumping against your chest.
art moans again at your praise and finally opens his eyes to meet your burning gaze. his low, nearly pathetic whine with his eyes on you was what it took to push you over the edge.
art lets you ride it out, he lets you grind against his face, he lets you use him again and again and again until you’ve had your fill and there is nothing left of him.
and when you cup his cheeks and bring his face to yours and kiss him like you have a one-track mind, he has an inkling feeling that you're not mad at him anymore. you press your forehead against his, hand cupping the back of his neck, and he lets out a sigh and you breathe it in. 
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, one more time, to make sure you know he means it.
you smile, offering him half a shrug and another kiss. “just let me return the favour.”
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tacticalprincess · 2 months
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toxic loser könig is fueled by the need to feel appreciated for once, especially by a pretty girl like you. and not just from the sweet compliments that bake in the oven of your mouth — he wants everyone to see how much you care about him. he can barely contain the sick urge to prove his claim over you to men in public who eye you up like he’s not there, to respond in appalling ways to older women whose brows crease in concern and bewilderment at how someone like you ended up with him. he pulls you snugly to his beefy side with a firm grip on your waist or middle, and angles your face toward his for a sloppy, lewd kiss in the middle of your sentence for seemingly no reason.
his cock struggles against the confines of his pants when you melt into his bruising hold, kitten nails carving into his bulging bicep in shock. you go along with his perverse actions without a second thought, under the knowledge that you’ll be yelled at to no end when you get home if you push him away for embarrassing him. his mind is constantly riddled with fantasies of fucking you in public, bending you over and stuffing you full until you’re nothing but a cockdrunk mess for all judgmental eyes to see, as the ultimate display of your devotion to him. for now, he settles for pulling you against his weighted boner mid-make out by squeezing the plump fat of your ass under your skirt, trying to fight the smugness dancing around the corners of his mouth at the whispers of disapproval from passerbys. but once his desire gets too strong, he’ll guilt trip you into complying to his fantasies, because if you truly loved him, you wouldn’t be ashamed to let everyone see, would you?
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cattjull · 3 months
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Loving you was Enough
rich!abby x f!reader
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You nuzzled your face in the crook of Abby's neck as your arms wrapped around her neck, no chance of letting her go.
She had been in a business trip somewhere in Asia, you had no idea where exactly, and she couldn't bring you with her since a relative of yours was sick and you wanted to take care of them.
You had missed her so much during the whole last week and finally being in her strong, buff arms was something you'd never thought you'd miss this much. 2 or 3 of her shirt's buttons were unbuttoned by you and her tie was in the coffee table, the soft fabric of her clothes and her perfume screamed ‘expensive’, no words needed at all.
“Missed y' so much Abs.”
“I know, I know, baby. I missed you too.” She said while rubbing her hand back and forth in your back while the other one squeezed and played mindlessly with your ass cheeks. “I brought you some gifts, though.”
“Abby, you didn't have to.” You whined trying to suppress a little smile, but both of you knew your expensive taste far outweighed your guilt for accepting whatever she had bought you this time.
“You will love it. All of it.”
“I love you.” You simply said.
“I love you too.”
Abby had a lot to offer you— too much.
Loving you was enough, though.
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reysdriver · 27 days
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i need more dad James 🫣🫣🫣🫣
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James comes home from a trip to the farm supply store with a wild surprise — dad!farmer!james x mom!reader fluff
warnings: a little bit of fighting but it's absolutely not angsty, some parental nervousness ig
words: 1.3k
a/n: I need more of him too lol (I'm gonna use this ask to test out my new au tho so I hope you're ok with that <3)
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James came home right when you were starting to prepare dinner, much to the joy of you and both your children. You scooped up your baby girl from her play mat on the ground, then right on cue, your toddler showed up at your side, rushing to the front door with you. 
“I guess you heard the door too, Haz?” You asked your son, holding out your hand for him to take.
As he looked up at you and nodded, he took your free hand so that the three of you were all going together to see James. 
Once you saw your husband at the door, all you felt were the butterflies in your stomach that still hadn’t flown away even after all these years. But then, you noticed how he was leaving very little space between him and the door as he closed it, and how he was covered in little strands of fur even though he was just running a few quick errands. 
Before you could even ask him about it, he wrapped his strong arm around your waist and pressed his lips against yours. It took you a bit of time to register what was even happening, but as soon as you started to melt into the kiss, James pulled away and flashed you a sweet smile. 
He then bent down to greet both Ivy on your hip and Harry standing beside you. 
“I have a surprise for you and the kids.” James said, mostly excited with a hint of guilt. 
You raised an eyebrow at your husband. “What are you talking about?”
He shrugged and touched the door handle, ready to open it. “I can’t really tell you. It’s better if I show you.”
He opened the front door to reveal a ridiculously small horse standing fifteen feet away from you and tied up to the bannister outside. 
It was half your size and incredibly fluffy. You had to resist going over to pet it just because you were so in shock at the fact that your husband came home from the farm supply store and surprised you with a whole horse—or maybe just a third of a horse, based on its size.
A thousand and one thoughts raced through your head but before you could make sense of any of them, Harry giggled loudly and began to run towards the horse in front of you all. 
Panicking, you called your son back and walked him back to the porch. You used your free hand to hold him tightly against your thigh so he wouldn’t run back the animal James just surprised you with. 
“You bought a pony on a whim?” You asked your husband. 
“No, of course not.” He shook his head. “She’s a miniature horse. They’re totally different. The guy I bought it from told me all about them!”
Of course. Now that the horse’s title is settled, everything is fine. 
“James, we need to speak in private. Stay here.” 
His face flushed. He knew you were mad because you almost never called him by anything other than your various pet names for him unless you were upset. 
You then ushered Harry back inside the house to the living room, where you set Ivy back down on her play mat. 
“Play with your sister for a minute, Haz. If she gets fussy at all, you can come get me outside, okay?”
He smiled and nodded, sitting down next to the one year-old. “Can we play with the pony soon?”
You exhaled, unsure of how to respond. “Your dad says it’s a miniature horse, not a pony. And maybe, if you’re good.”
The boy seemed satisfied with that, so you pressed a kiss to the top of his head and walked back outside, where you found your husband looking extremely guilty as he awaited your return. 
Once you closed the door behind you, he immediately tried to make the situation better. 
“Lovie, I knew you’d be reluctant about all of this, but I swear I can explain—”
“You bought a horse, James! You were only supposed to be going out for a new shovel and some paint, then you come back with a horse?!”
 “Well, I got the other stuff, too, it’s just in the truck. I just got to talking with a man at the supply store and he said he was selling some of those cuties right out of his horse trailer in the parking lot.”
You sighed and crossed your arms. “How much did it cost?”
“Not much at all! The guy was selling them for bottom dollar ‘cause he’s moving soon and needs ‘em gone!” James rested his hand on your upper arm and stroked lightly. His voice softened, and so did his expression. “Believe me, I wouldn’t have bought her if we couldn’t afford her. I’m always thinking about our family.”
You were trying real hard not to look into your husband’s pretty eyes because you knew the second you did, you would have no choice but to give in. You stared at the porch swing, the miniature horse, the chicken coop, anything but James. 
And he could clearly tell you weren’t convinced just yet, so he kept going.
“Look, I know we got rid of most of the animals before Harry was born, but those were the more unstable ones, and that was back when we were nervous about everything. Now we’re more experienced, and she’s just the sweetest thing.”
You exhaled, peeking through the window to check on Harry and Ivy playing on the living room carpet. 
“They’re just babies, Jamie.” 
He bit back a smile at the use of his nickname, letting him know you were warming up to the idea. 
“Harry’s already three, love.” He removed his hand from your arm and gestured at himself. “I was just barely older than him when I started riding the real horses, and now look at me!”
He smiled and posed with open arms, which in turn made you smile. 
“I love looking at you.” You said sincerely. “You’re the best.”
“Your words, not mine.”
You giggled, then pulled him in for a kiss. And not just one to distract like when he first came home. A real kiss, and a good one too.
When you pulled away, you left your hands where they were and caressed softly. 
“Next time you want to do something extravagant for the kids like this, talk to me about it first, okay? If you kiss me enough, I’ll say yes to anything.” 
James raised an eyebrow, insinuating things that made you glad the kids were inside. 
Your jaw dropped in mock stun. “Not like that, Jamie! What do you take me for?!” 
The two of you both laughed, and he pulled you in for a sweet hug. “My wife, the mother of my incredible kids, the love of my life. I could go on.”
You would have claimed he was just flattering you as an apology for buying the horse, but you had already told him he could keep it. Plus, he says things like that far more than he had ever bought something crazy and needed forgiveness. 
“So I can go introduce the kids to the horse for real now?” 
Your gaze moved over to the animal a few feet away from you, and you nodded as a response to your husband’s question. 
“As long as you have a saddle for that thing.”
He grinned, then kissed your nose quickly before darting away. “Thank you! It’s in the truck! I love you!”
You laughed to yourself, and shook your head amusedly while you walked towards the miniature horse that you now owned. 
“Hi there, sweetheart.” You greeted, brushing her mane with your fingers. “Welcome to the family. James there can be a bit daft, but I think you’ll like it here.”
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velarisdusk · 2 months
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Thawing Boundaries
Hockey AU | Azriel x Reader x Rhysand
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Series Masterlist Part 1 <- ✦.⁺.✦.⁺.✦ -> Part 3 - Melted Resolve
word count: 11.7k
content: there's so much in this one i'm bound to miss a few [ explicit sexual content, PIV (protected, a shocker for me i know), rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), voyeuristic elements, dirty talk, degredation, biting/marking, choking, light slapping, public sex (locker room setting), threesome, dominance/submission, infidelity | forced proximity, emotional conflict, dub-con (but reader does want it i promise), injury mention, strong language, and (very light) emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping ]
summary: After tension from a failed move at practice leads to a teammate's injury, you and Azriel unexpectedly meet in the locker room. As you share a heated moment, a surprise arrival heightens the stakes, leading to a steamy, forbidden encounter that leaves you questioning your choices and their consequences.
author's note: AAAAAAAAA? tysm for all the love on Ice Cold Jealousy, this was so fun to write i hope yall like it >;) i might've gone too hard on the dirty talk depending on the type of person you are but idc it's hot OH and i PROMISE these wont all take place in the locker room lmfao, it's just where the plot took me. also, no dp dont get your hopes up.
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On the ice, chaos reigns. The game unfolds at breakneck speed, the puck zipping from stick to stick, its path unpredictable. Players shift positions in the blink of an eye, changing possession in heartbeats. Their movements are a blur of speed and precision, leaving you struggling to keep up with the rapid-fire action. 
With 15 seconds left, the Golden Spring Griffins were up 3-2. There was no need to score again — they just had to keep possession. A bunch of show-offs…
And right there was the proof. 
A pass from one of their wingers to the other, cutting it mighty close to the Snowvale Sentinels’ defensive line. He rode it along the left side of the rink for about ten feet before an abrupt 180; clockwise, getting up close and personal with the defenseman who’d chased him down the whole play. The defenseman struck his stick down between the other player and the puck, expecting him to double back around. 
Everyone expected him to double back around.
But there he was — Tamlin, you believed was his name — skating backward for a second, letting the momentum carry him along his path. And he finished out his clockwise turn. Turn back down the ice? Not a chance. It was the perfect opportunity for a spin-o-rama. What a silly name for such a calculated move. What he did next had the arena and fans watching from everywhere on their feet. 
It was common practice to pass after a spin-o-rama, the maneuver simply meant to disorient any nearby opposition if a player was ever in a tough spot. Whoever he passed to would be expected to, as quickly as possible, either go for the shot or pass to someone who could. The downside was that this not only gave the opposing team time to figure out what was happening but to adjust accordingly as well. 
So Tamlin didn’t give them that chance. 
Immediately after coming out of his spin, he brought his stick back, and in a flash, thrust it forward. You could’ve sworn you heard the blade hit the ice just before the puck, and—
Red light. Goal.
Buzzer. That’s game.  
A spin-o-rama, a risky maneuver as is, followed by a slapshot, one of the strongest but least accurate shots, as you’d heard Cassian remind his team countless times over the years.
It was all so fast.
You focus on his footwork throughout the turn, absorbing every detail.
Again, you watch, slower this time, and notice the precise angle of the blade.
Looking up, you see Tarquin attempting the very same move, Cassian standing in as an opposing player. You tap your phone screen, pausing the ESPN stream of last night’s game. You’d gotten your fill of it last night. Lifting the soup spoon from the pot to your lips, you’d very nearly burnt yourself after how badly you’d jumped at Cassian’s exaggerated gasp at the television. For what had to have been at least an hour following, you were subject to the full-volume gushes and shouts of every last one of the Vipers during their group FaceTime. They were playing the Griffins in a couple of weeks. Though they didn’t have a particularly bitter history, their rivalry always had a bit of an edge to it.
It made sense that during practice today, Cassian was on their asses more than usual. The priority for the next couple of days was to teach Tarquin and Rhysand the maneuver (while trying to master it himself), to then teach the others how to counter it. 
Practice ended over half an hour ago, but they still had some time on the ice before Phil the Zamboni Guy came out to resurface it. He was cool, if a bit grouchy-looking.
“Fuck!” 
He was fine regarding the first half of the move, but coming out of the spin, none of his slapshots made it into the net. Hell — none of them made it past Cassian. 
“Again,” he said, firmly but coolly. In response, Tarquin wordlessly skated back to his starting position down ice, head lazily flopped back and arms loose by his sides. 
“Where’s Rhys? Isn’t he supposed to be here too?” Tarquin groaned, shifting back into proper stance. 
“Rhysie’s got a little date tonight,” you could hear the smirk in your boyfriend’s voice, followed by a sound of exaggerated, definitely insincere, enthusiasm from Tarquin. 
Your phone buzzes, a text from Mor.
Karaoke tn?
Truly, you had plans. Plans to stay home and watch bad TLC shows with a large bottle of chilled wine. But really, how bad would it be? You’d be drinking either way. Karaoke is not a sober activity.
uhh
where at?
After a few moments, another buzz, a text with an address, followed by a “Pleaseeeee (y/n), it’s so fun when you come :( I need someone to debrief and shit talk with after.” You roll your eyes with a small snort. Tapping on the address link, the map opens to show you it’s a nice little spot downtown, hopefully better than the sketchy karaoke place you’d followed her to last time.
sure why n-
Your screen goes black. You sigh, realizing you’ve drained your battery watching replays and scrolling through socials during the long practice session. 
Bringing your gaze back up, you notice the palpable frustration radiating from both men. You’ve never seen Tarquin so angry during practice; things usually came quite easily to him. When his next slapshot makes it past Cassian but bounces off the crossbar, you’re stunned. Even more shocking is the feral growl that echoes throughout the arena. You watch, astonished, as he violently hurls his helmet onto the ice. He skates off, fuming, before storming off down the hall. To cool down, you presume. 
Cassian skates over to you, and you meet him at the players’ bench to avoid talking through the glass.
“That move is gonna give us all hell,” Cassian sighs, removing his helmet and running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair.
You nod sympathetically. “It looked tricky. Tarquin seemed pretty frustrated,” you say, stating the obvious. You both share a knowing smile. 
“Yeah… But we’ll get it down,” he says, determination creeping into his voice. “Can’t take as long as the backhand saucer pass with Eris. Remember how many times he nearly took Az’s head off before he got it right?”
You chuckle a bit at the memory. He’d gotten the pass down fairly quickly. The issue was applying it. They’d spend about a week of practice setting up different game situations for him to practice the move. 
Azriel got hit with the puck several times. 
“You look good out there,” you told him with a coy smile. 
“When do I not?”
“When you’re being a narcissist,” you scoff. A blatant lie; he knew you liked your men cocky.
Cassian leans closer, a roguish grin spreading across his face. “Narcissist? Please. It’s not narcissism if it’s true.” He winks, then adds in a lower voice, “Besides, I seem to recall you enjoying my… confidence quite thoroughly last night.”
You roll your eyes but can’t suppress a smile. “And here I thought your ego couldn’t get any bigger. Guess I’ll have to find a way to take you down a peg or two later.”
Cassian leans against the boards, his grin widening. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease, mirroring his posture.
He relents, shaking his head with a chuckle. “You’re something else, babe, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told,” you reply with a wink. “Though usually by guys who can’t keep up.”
“Oh, I think I manage just fine,” Cassian counters, a glint in his eye.
You’re about to respond when his stomach lets out an audible growl. He looks down, slightly embarrassed, and you both chuckle, the moment lightening.
Cassian says, rubbing the back of his neck, “What are you thinking for dinner tonight?”
“Oh, actually,” you start, “I’m going to karaoke with Mor. And some of her friends, I think? I’ll grab something while I’m out.”
Cassian nods, “Sounds fun. Tell Mor I said hi.”
“My phone died while I was texting her. Mind if I use yours to let her know?”
“Sure thing,” Cassian replies, reaching over the wall for his duffel.
Suddenly, the sharp sounds of blades scraping ice cuts through the air. You both turn to see Tarquin charging full speed with the puck toward center ice. His helmet’s off, hair windswept, determination etched on his features. You can’t help but admire the raw athleticism on display as he turns his back to the goal, his footwork mirroring Tamlin’s from the video. 
You inhale sharply. As he initiates the spin, his blade catches the edge of the puck instead of gliding past it. In a split second, his ankle twists at a sickening angle. His body, still carrying the momentum of the spin, topples sideways. You watch in horror as Tarquin crashes onto the ice, a cry of pain echoing through the arena.
Tarquin clutches his ankle, his features twisted in distress. Cassian immediately rushes towards him. You follow, carefully stepping onto the ice, your shoes sliding slightly as you try to keep your balance.  As you near, you hear Rhysand’s voice from the direction of the locker room. “What happened?” he shouts, running towards the scene. 
Rhysand, more sure-footed, reaches you first. As you slip slightly on the ice, his hand finds your lower back, the other on your shoulder, steadying you as he moves swiftly by. He slides to his knees the last few feet, joining Cassian at Tarquin’s side. You follow, more cautiously, moments later. 
“You gotta let me get a look at it bro,” Cassian tells him, face grim as he gently probes at Tarquin’s ankle. He moves his hand, and Cassian carefully unlaces Tarquin’s skate. The process is slow, each tug causing him to wince. His eyes, usually so bright, are now clouded with pain, making your heart ache a little at the sight. When Cassian finally eases the skate off, you all grimace. It’s silent save for the breath you suck in through your teeth. The two men kneeling over Tarquin shoot you a look, and you mouth a small “sorry”. How were you supposed to know they were trying to keep calm? It’s not like Tarquin was some fragile rookie who couldn’t handle it. 
“I don’t think it’s broken,” Tarquin tells them, jaw clenching and nostrils flaring a bit in pain when Cassian tries to move his ankle. “Probably just a sprain, right?”
His ankle is already swelling, an angry red color blooming across the skin. The area around the bone looks puffy and distorted. 
“Yeah… Yeah, probably—help me get him to my truck,” Cassian says to Rhysand, his voice tense with worry. With Cassian supporting his legs and Rhysand at his shoulders, Tarquin cradles his ankle as they lift him. It’s a bit awkward with only one of them in skates but they manage. 
As they carry him towards the exit, Tarquin calls out to you, his voice strained with pain. “(Y/N)! Can you grab my phone from my locker? 1418, combination’s 19-21-13.”
“Got it,” you reply assertively, already turned away. You call back to Cassian, “Just go, I’ll meet you there!”
You hurry down the hallway, your mind racing faster than your feet. The image of Tarquin’s swollen ankle flashes in your mind, making you cringe. How bad was it really? A sprain could mean a few weeks of recovery, but if it was fractured or worse…
As you near the locker room, you force yourself to focus. 1418, 19-21-13. You repeat the numbers in your head, determined not to forget them in your rush. 
The quiet empty corridor feels eerie after the chaos on the ice. You find yourself wondering how Tarquin is holding up, if he’s in much pain. A pang of sympathy hits you — you’ve seen how passionate he is about the game, how hard he pushes himself. Memories of his intense focus during practices, the way his muscles flex as he glides across the ice, his infectious smile, the droplets of water trailing down his chest after a shower…
You quickly push those thoughts aside, feeling a mix of guilt and a confusing thrill at the unbidden images. 
Reaching the locker room door, you push it open without hesitation, your eyes already scanning for locker 1418. 
You spot it quickly enough, your fingers flying over the combination lock. 19-21-13. The locker swings open with a metallic creak. You rummage through the contents, pushing aside gym clothes and equipment until your hand closes around the familiar shape of a phone. 
As you’re about to shut the locker and race back to your car, something catches your eye. Pinned to the inside of the door is a Polaroid — one you took at the team’s annual log cabin retreat last year. The guys are shirtless, grinning at the camera, their arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Cassian stands in the middle, all flexed biceps and confidence, Rhysand to his right and Tarquin on his left with matching, easygoing smiles that you’ve internally swooned at more than once. Azriel, always a bit more reserved than the others, stands slightly behind them, his eyes soft with a rare moment of unguarded joy. Helion and Eris flank the group, their expressions reflecting a mix of mischief and amusement. That was moments before they’d picked Cassian up and thrown him into the lake. You can’t help but smile, remembering the weekend’s camaraderie and the close quarters, the obstacle course that left you all covered in mud and laughing, the impromptu swimming races in the lake, and the countless moments of playful teasing. The cabin’s single bathroom had led to more than a few flustered encounters. You’d lost count of how many times you’d rounded the corner, only to collide with one of the guys fresh from the shower, hair dripping, towel barely clinging to their hips. Each of them had caught you off guard at least once over the years, leaving you to save face and will yourself not to stare.
Your reminiscing is abruptly cut short by a strained sound echoing through the room. You freeze, suddenly aware of the steady hiss of running water. How long have the showers been on? You were so focused on finding the phone, you hadn’t even noticed… Another noise like the last, this one a bit louder. 
Concern creeps in as you wonder if someone else has gotten hurt. First Tarquin, now this? What is it with today? Cautiously, you move towards the showers, ears straining for any more sounds. The rush of water grows louder as you approach. Only the stall at the far end, against the back wall, is running. You notice a small gap between the curtain and the wall, and before you can stop yourself, your eyes are drawn to it. 
Through the narrow space, you catch a glimpse of Azriel. His back is turned, muscles tense, shoulders slightly hunched, his head bowed. There’s a rhythmic quality to his movements that takes you a moment to comprehend. When realization dawns, you feel heat rush to your face.
You know you should leave, give him privacy, but you find yourself frozen in place. The steam seems to thicken the air around you, making it harder to breathe. Suddenly you’re acutely aware of your quickening pulse and the warmth spreading through your body.
Azriel’s back muscles ripple with each movement, the water cascading down his tanned skin, highlighting every ridge and contour. His left hand is splayed flat against the wall for support, fingers flexing slightly every now and then. The muscles in his arm contract and release, contract and release. His right hand, lower and out of view, works in a steady, practiced motion.
You can’t tear your eyes away from the interplay of muscles across his shoulders and back. His wet hair clings to his neck, droplets trailing down to join the rivulets streaming along his spine. Your gaze travels further downward, following the water’s path over the powerful curve of his glutes, the firm muscles clenching with each movement. His legs, strong and slightly apart for balance, show every shift in weight and tension, every flex and release. 
The sight is intoxicating. A flush creeps up your neck, a reaction that’s as involuntary as it is intense. Azriel lets out a low, throaty sound of pleasure, and it sends a shiver down your spine. You’re rooted to the spot, every sense heightened. The steam swirls around you, seemingly thickening the air, making it harder to breathe. The sound of water rushing fills your ears, drowning out rational thought. You can almost feel the heat radiating from his body, the sheer presence of him a magnet pulling you closer.
Suddenly, Azriel’s movements still, and you notice the subtle tension in his muscles. He turns his head slightly, just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his profile. For a moment, you hope he hasn’t seen you, but then his eyes lock onto yours through the small gap. His gaze is intense, piercing, and you can see the realization dawning in his expression.
You feel your heart stop, your breath hitching in your throat. The room seems to shrink around you, the air heavy all of a sudden. Azriel’s lips curl into a slow, knowing smile, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Didn’t expect company,” he says, voice low and husky, cutting through the sound of the shower like a knife.
You stumble back a step, heat flooding your face. “I— Fuck, I’m sorry,” you push out, unable to tear your eyes away from him. From those eyes. He doesn’t move, just continues to watch you, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement. 
You finally force yourself to move, turning quickly and beelining for the door. “I didn’t mean to— I wasn’t trying to—” you stammer over your shoulder, your heart racing. You reach for the door handle and tug, but it doesn’t budge. Panic flares as you yank harder, but it’s stuck. You slide Tarquin’s phone into your jacket pocket to use both hands.
“Seriously?” you mutter under your breath, trying not to think about what Azriel must be thinking of you right now. 
You hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Your pulse quickens as you keep tugging on the door handle. “You don’t have to pretend it’s locked if you wanna stay in here with me, y’know,” Azriel’s voice comes from behind you, closer now.
You glance back to see him walking towards you, a towel in hand, drying his forearms and hands. The towel barely preserves his modesty, exposing everything from his muscular thighs to the sharp cut of his hip bones and a tantalizing glimpse of his V-line. He’s casual, almost nonchalant, but his eyes never leave yours, dark with amusement and something more.
“I was—” you start, but he cuts you off, raising a brow.
“Enjoying the show?” he asks, voice smooth and teasing.
You manage to arch a brow as well, trying to maintain some of your dignity as you respond, “Didn’t realize you were putting on a performance.”
Azriel chuckles, a deep, rich sound. “For you, (y/n)? I’d put on a private performance anytime.”
You feel your face start to heat up again, but you keep your composure. “How generous of you.”
He grins, finally wrapping the towel around his waist, the movement slow and deliberate. It takes everything in you to keep your gaze from traveling downward. “I aim to please,” he says.
You gesture to the door with your arm. “Since you’re so helpful, how about getting this door open?”
Azriel steps closer, lightly brushing his fingers against your arm as he moves you gently aside. “Let’s see what we have here,” he murmurs, his touch making its way to your waist and lingering a moment longer than necessary.
He gives the handle a firm tug. It doesn’t budge for him either. After a few more tries, he furrows his brows at it, as if it’ll give him an answer. “You weren’t kidding…”
“Shocking, I know,” you reply, rolling your eyes.
As he continues trying the door, you can’t help but be captivated by the muscles rippling in his arms, each sinew flexing with effort. Your eyes wander to the brutal scars crisscrossing his hands, remnants of a fateful game well before your time with the team. But you can’t help but imagine how those roughened fingers would feel inside you. The thought has you biting your lip to keep from sighing.
Azriel’s movements falter, and he glances back at you, a smirk playing on his lips. You quickly divert your eyes, feeling the intensity of his gaze. His smirk widens as he steps closer, his presence overwhelming. He places a hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing the side of your neck gently before his grip tightens, almost possessively. “Catch your attention?” His voice drops to a whisper, the rasp sending jolts of arousal through you. 
“Come on, Az…” you murmur weakly, turning your head away from him. His hand moves from your shoulder to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek.
“You think I don’t see the way you look at me?” he asks, head cocked as he leans in to whisper in your ear. “You can never keep your eyes off of me for long, you make it so obvious.”
Your breath hitches as his fingers trail down your arm, sending a chill through your body. He leans in even closer, his lips almost grazing your skin. “Are you imagining what I could do for you that he can’t? Because I think about it more than I care to admit,” he continues, his voice a low rumble. 
Cass.
Your mind screams his name, but your body is rooted to the spot. Cassian is waiting for you, the urgency of the situation pulling at you like a lifeline. Yet here you stand, trapped in Azriel’s intoxicating presence, the steam in the air persistent. 
“You look tense, (y/n)” Azriel pulls back, his voice low and smooth, a dark melody that raises goosebumps across your skin. His hand moves to your waist, fingers tracing the curve of your hip over your skirt. “Is it because of Cass?”
You swallow hard, trying to find your voice. “Azriel. I need to go. He’s waiting for me.”
Azriel’s lips curl into a knowing smile as his hand slides lower, toying with the hem of your skirt. “Is he?” he asks, his tone teasing.
Your breath catches as his fingers dip beneath the hem, just enough to tease, “Az, please,” you murmur, though the conviction in your voice is waning.
“Please what?” Azriel’s hand moves with slow, deliberate intent, his touch both tender and possessive. “Please stop? Or please don’t stop?”
Your mind is a whirlwind as his touch makes your pulse race. “Cassian,” you whisper, almost a plea. 
“Cassian doesn’t have to know,” Azriel whispers, his voice dripping with reassurance, each word a gentle caress against your skin. “It’ll be our little secret. I promise.”
You should resist, should want to resist, to pull away and run to Cassian. But his hand slips up, under your skirt, fingers brushing over the thin fabric of your tights. Your body betrays you, squeezing your thighs together, a barely perceptible, breathy whine escaping you.
“We can’t,” you breathe out with a barely visible shake of your head, but you don’t push him away. 
“And why not, hm?” He sounds like he’s hardly there, enraptured by the trail of his fingers when they find the waistline of your tights, slipping just beneath the hem to caress your skin directly. 
You grab his wrist to stop him, and it’s only then that you tear your eyes away from his to look at the sight. His hand is under your skirt, the fabric draped over his wrist. The fabric is lifted just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your underwear if he were to lower his gaze. 
Your heart pounds as you struggle to maintain your resolve. “This isn’t right,” you whisper, your voice betraying the war raging within you. 
Azriel’s fingers pause. “Isn’t it?” he asks softly, his voice a soothing murmur. “It feels right, doesn’t it?”
His tone is gentle, almost coaxing. “We’re just sharing a moment,” he continues, his breath warm against your skin. “No one has to know.”
Your grip on his wrist weakens, the conflict within you intensifying with each second. His words, his touch — they’re all weaving a spell around you, pulling you closer. 
Azriel senses your hesitation and presses his advantage, his hand resuming its slow, deliberate movements. “Just let go,” he whispers, his voice a dark promise. “Let me make you feel good.” 
Your resolve crumbles as his touch becomes more insistent, his fingers tracing patterns of fire on your skin. The forbidden thrill of his touch, the intoxicating promise of pleasure — it’s too much to resist.
With a soft gasp, you finally give in, your back arching as your chest presses into him. “Azriel,” you breathe, but it’s different than before. This time, his name tumbles from your lips as both a surrender and a plea. 
Azriel’s smile is triumphant as he captures your lips in a searing kiss, his hands roaming freely now, exploring every inch of you. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in this heated, forbidden moment.
You know you shouldn’t be doing this. Part of your mind screams at you to stop, to push him away, but the way his hands move, the way his lips taste… It’s intoxicating. The guilt gnaws at you, but the desire is overwhelming, drowning out any sense of right or wrong when his hand slips further into the waistband of your tights, his fingers brushing against your panties. He rubs you through the fabric, and as a soft moan escapes your lips, a groan leaves his. The sensation is electric, a pleasure and forbidden thrill that makes your knees weak. You clutch at his shoulders, torn between the need to push him away and the desire to pull him closer.
You gasp, his name a breathless whisper on your lips. He responds with a low, satisfied hum, his fingers working, pushing you further into your haze. His touch is both gentle and demanding, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. You feel his warm breath against your neck as his lips trail down, leaving a blazing path in their wake. Your body craves more, hips moving in a slow, sensual rhythm against his hand. He doesn’t stop, each stroke deliberate and intoxicating. Your breaths come faster, and you tangle your fingers into his still-dripping hair, pulling him back up for a frenzied kiss.
Desperation takes over as you both rush to tear off your clothes. Your jacket falls to the floor with a distant thud, Tarquin’s phone still in the pocket. The sound barely registers in your mind, consumed as you are by the urgent need to feel Azriel’s skin on yours. His hands move with practiced ease, pulling your shirt up and off, your lips hardly separating. His fingers work deftly at the clasp of your bra, and with a single motion, it comes undone, falling away to reveal your bare skin. 
As you kick off your shoes, his lips are already back on your neck, biting, licking, aching for a taste. You step backward, the backs of your thighs brushing against the wall as he tugs down your skirt and tights in one forceful, fluid motion, the urgency in his actions mirrored by your own racing heartbeat. Each step backward leaves a piece of clothing discarded. He pauses, his eyes dark with desire as he takes you in, then his fingers resume their exploration, sliding beneath your panties to rub you directly. You gasp, arching further into his touch, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with the same intensity as his fingers. He pulls back his hand, peeling away and discarding the last bit of cloth. He lifts you then, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. As you both step towards the shower, you hear the soft thud of Azriel’s towel hitting the floor. He guides you closer, the anticipation building with each step. The spray of water hits your skin, and for a moment you're confused.
Azriel’s voice, low and reassuring, cuts through the hiss of the water. “Some privacy,” he murmurs against your lips, a sly smile playing on his face. “In case we get rescued.”
The water cascades over you both. You cling to him, lost in the sensation, the guilt and doubt taking a backseat. His hands roam freely, caressing every inch of your body with a possessive tenderness. His lips trail down your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers find your clit again, circling in slowly, teasingly. You moan into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his kiss.
“You feel so good around my fingers,” Azriel growls against your lips. “So tight and wet for me.”
Your breaths are nothing more than shallow gasps, each one punctuated by the delicious friction of his fingers. “Az,” you moan, trying to keep your voice low. “I need more.”
He smirks, his lips brushing against your ear. “Oh, are you going to beg for it?” A deep hum. “I want to hear those sweet little moans louder, baby, can you do that for me?”
You can’t help but comply, your moans finally growing from whispered gasps as his fingers move faster, curl harder. “Fuck— Yes, Azriel, right there,” you choke out, the last remnant of common sense in you still minding your volume. 
“That’s it,” he purrs. “You’re so fucking perfect like this, falling apart on my hand.” His thumb steadily circles your throbbing clit. 
Your hands grasp at his shoulders for something to anchor yourself with as the pleasure builds. “Please Az,” you whimper, your voice trembling with need. “I’m so close,” you tell him, a hint of disbelief in your tone.
“Come for me, angel,” he commands, a glint in his eyes. “Show me how good I make you feel.”
Your body tenses, the pleasure cresting, and you let out a strangled cry, a hand over your mouth stifling it. Your orgasm crashes over you in waves, and his name spills from your lips, a breathless chant, as he continues to touch you, prolonging the pleasure.
“That was… wow…” you pant as you come down from your high.
“Good,” he says, his fingers slowing but not stopping. “But I’m not done with you yet.”
Before you can respond, he moves his hand from your breast to your mouth, holding his fingers up to your lips. “Suck,” is all he says. And you do. You take his fingers in, swirling your tongue around them, coating them in your saliva. “You look so beautiful like this,” he murmurs, looking down at you with slightly parted lips. “So perfect.”
He pulls out of you, but just as you’re about to whine around his fingers at the loss, you see him bring them to his own mouth, and you whine at that instead. He groans and his eyes roll back when he tastes you, and the sight sends a rush of need to your core. “Azriel,” you mumble around his fingers, the word muffled. 
“Shh, angel,” he soothes, his voice a low rumble. “Just let me take care of you.” His fingers leave your mouth, trailing down your body. Both of his hands come to rest on your hips, squeezing the flesh there. He turns you suddenly, pulling your back flush against his front, and his arms wrap around you. One hand slides between your legs, resuming its torment, while the other moves to cover your mouth.
“Quiet now,” he whispers. “Wouldn’t want anyone walking by outside to hear us, right?”
You nod, hardly processing what he’d said. Your concentration is set on the feel of his toned abdominal muscles pressed against your back. 
“You said Cass was waiting for you, right?” he whispers in your ear, the sensation without being able to see him being all the more delicious, but your eyes widen at his words. You let out a frustrated groan, much louder than the noises you made before, though it’s muffled by his hand. “Doesn’t seem like you care too much anymore… What if he comes looking for you? Hm? What then? Gotta keep quiet for me, okay?” You can practically hear the smile in his voice. “For all we know, he could be right outside the door, worried sick about his sweet little (y/n).”
Your heart races at his words, fear and excitement coursing through you. Azriel’s fingers move faster, his hand stifling your moans. “Imagine the look on his face if he found you like this,” he continues. “So needy, so desperate for my touch.”
You shiver, his words igniting a forbidden thrill within you, far surpassing the teasing and casual touches Cassian permitted them all. “Please…” It’s so muffled behind his hand, but he hears you perfectly.
“Please what?” he murmurs, his fingers continuing to thrust in and out of you. “Please make you come again? Or please stop before Cassian catches us?”
Your mind is a whirlwind, the thought of Cassian finding you like this both terrifying and exhilarating. Azriel loosens his hand long enough to hear your response. “Make me come,” you finally whisper, your voice trembling with need. “Please, Azriel.”
“Good girl,” he purrs, his fingers moving with relentless precision. “I want to feel you come for me again.”
You’re teetering on the edge of another orgasm, every nerve ending alight with sensation. The only sounds in the room are the running water, your ragged breaths, and the wet, slick sounds of his fingers working in and out of you at a punishing speed. Just as you’re about to reach the peak, you hear it — a faint squeak of a sneaker on the tiled floor.
Your eyes snap open, panic mingling with the pleasure. Azriel falters for a beat, barely half a second, but doesn’t stop, his hand tightening over your mouth. “Shh,” he whispers right into your ear, his voice dark and heavy with authority. “Don’t make a sound.”
You’re caught in a delicious torment, the fear of being seen only heightening your arousal. The footsteps grow louder, and closer, and then, abruptly, the curtain is yanked open.
Rhysand stands there, eyes wide with shock, then with something else as his eyes rake over your body. His eyes meet yours, then shift to Azriel behind you, his hand still buried between your legs, still moving in and out. A smile creeps onto Rhysand’s face and he crosses his arms, leaning against the wall with a short breath of a laugh. 
“Does Cass know you’ve got her here like this?” He juts his chin at you.
Azriel smirks, his fingers still working inside you. “What do you think?”
Rhysand chuckles, his eyes roaming over your body with a detached curiosity. “You think he’ll have you skate lines for this?” he muses. His gaze travels up and down your form, lingering on the places where Azriel’s hands are touching you, but his face remains a mask of calm. Yet you notice his knuckles turning white where he’s squeezing his hands into tight fists. 
“Probably. And you’d probably be right there next to me just for seeing her like this,” Azriel replies nonchalantly, only a hint of the raspiness he spoke to you with before remains. “But I think it’s worth it.”
Rhysand nods, his eyes darkening with a predatory gleam. “She’s quite the sight isn’t she?” he says, as if you weren’t even there, as if you were nothing more than a piece of art to be admired and discussed. His gaze meets yours, and you see the raw hunger lurking beneath his cool exterior. It excites you, makes your muscles clench around Azriel’s fingers. 
Azriel hums in agreement, fingers curling inside you, drawing a muffled moan from your lips. “Cass is lucky to have her.”
Rhysand's eyes remain fixed on you, a predatory gleam in their depths. He doesn't say anything more, just watches intently as Azriel continues his ministrations. You cling to Azriel's arms, your nails digging into his skin, the need to come overwhelming you.
"That's it, angel," Azriel murmurs, his voice low and soothing. "Get yours, go ahead."
You can see Rhysand hardening in his pants, his cool demeanor betraying nothing but his body telling a different story. The sight only heightens your arousal, pushing you closer to the edge. 
With a final, desperate cry, you shatter around Azriel's fingers, your body convulsing with the force of your orgasm. He holds you through it, his fingers never stopping until you're trembling and spent.
As you come down from your high, Rhysand steps closer, his gaze never leaving yours. "Mind if I join?" he asks, but his question is directed at you, not Azriel.
You hesitate, the conflict clear in your eyes. Azriel tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. "It's okay," he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your cheek. "You want this, don't you?"
You swallow hard, then nod slowly. Rhysand's eyes darken with satisfaction as he begins to strip, his movements unhurried.
Azriel’s fingers finally slip out of you, and he gently guides you to lean back against the shower wall and he kneels before you, bringing one of your legs over his shoulder. The warm water cascades over you both, heightening the intimacy. Between your thighs, eyes locked on yours, he starts to kiss a trail up your inner thigh. “You’ve been such a good girl for me,” he murmurs against your skin. “You ready to be good for Rhys too?”
Rhysand, now fully undressed, steps into the stall with a lazy confident stride. He lowers himself beside Azriel, his eyes devouring the sight of you. You can’t help but look away from the sight of both of them admiring your most intimate parts. “Look at you ,” Rhysand says, his voice dripping with approval, and you whine in embarrassment as he spreads your sex. “So beautiful.”
Azriel’s mouth replaces his fingers, his tongue flicking out to taste you, and you gasp, your hands tangling in his hair. Rhysand stands, his hands cupping your breasts with a thumb circling your nipple, eliciting a soft moan from you. “So fucking good,” he murmurs, leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss. 
His lips are even softer than you imagined, his hands both tender and firm, exactly as you’d fantasized. Azriel’s tongue works with expert precision, each stroke sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. Rhysand’s hand trails down your body, his fingers joining Azriel’s mouth between your legs, and the combination of their touches drives you wild. 
“Does that feel good, angel?” Azriel asks, his voice vibrating against your core. 
You nod, unable to say anything more than a quiet ‘uh-huh’.  Rhysand’s lips travel to your neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin there. Your heart shoots up into your throat, hoping they thought about leaving you free of any marks. “You look so perfect like this,” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck. “Tell us what you need, darling,” Rhysand says softly, gently. 
“Both of you,” you manage to gasp out, your voice trembling. “I need both of you.”
Azriel’s laugh is low and wicked as he pulls back slightly, his eyes dark with amusement, chin slick with your wetness. “Hear that, Rhys? She can’t get enough — she’s fuckin’ begging for it.”
Rhysand’s fingers trail slowly over your skin, away from your most sensitive, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I know, so needy,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. “Poor Cassian. Does he know what a slut you are for us? How you’re dripping and ready the second we touch you?”
Azriel’s hands move to your hips, gripping them firmly. “I bet he’s pacing right now, worried sick about his sweet little (y/n),” he taunts, his breath fanning over your pulsing cunt. “And here you are, begging for us to fuck you. Does that make you wet, (y/n)? Knowing he’s waiting?”
You whimper, the heat of their words igniting your shame. “I don’t— It— No,” your eyes turn glassy with tears. You should leave, should somehow get through that door and run to Cassian and confess everything, beg for his forgiveness, and pray he doesn’t leave you for betraying his trust. But the need, the raw desire coursing through you, Azriel’s face between your legs, keeps you rooted to the spot. Before you can wonder how Rhysand even got in, he speaks up, his voice dripping with amusement. “Look at you, stuttering and trembling. You can’t even admit it to yourself, can you? That being a good, filthy little slut behind his back turns you on.”
Azriel chuckles against your core, the vibrations sending shivers through you. “He’s right, isn’t he, angel? Answer him,” he commands, tongue and fingers working in tandem. Then Rhysand’s lips suck and bite at your breast, his hand squeezing at the other. It all pushes you to the brink of your sanity. You can’t deny it anymore. The very thought of betraying Cassian while being worshipped by his two best friends, their words and touch stripping away your hesitance, is intoxicating. The way their voices tease and command, the way their hands and mouths worship your body — every sensation, every whisper, is a direct line to your deepest desires. 
With a moan, you finally give in, your voice barely more than a breathless murmur as a single tear falls from your eye. “Yes… God, yes, it turns me on so much…” Your admission hangs heavy in the air for a few moments. Azriel’s eyes gleam with a dark satisfaction, and Rhysand’s smirk widens as if he’s just won some grand prize. The air around you crackles with their shared triumph, and they each seem to revel in having been able to extract the confession from you. 
Rhysand’s fingers continue to slide over your skin, his touch commanding and sure, and Azriel shrugs your leg off his shoulder as he stands and steps aside. “Want to feel her, Rhys? She’s perfect.” He doesn’t hesitate for a moment, pushing his middle and ring fingers into you, a groan escaping him at the feel of you.
“Damn… I can’t wait to stuff you full, (y/n). Do you want that? Want us both to fuck you so good, don’t you?”
You must have whined out your boyfriend’s name, because Azriel’s voice adds, “You know we won’t tell if you don’t. Cassian doesn’t need to know about this, right?” His hand comes up to move a wet strand of hair from your face and stays on the back of your neck, thumb rubbing your skin soothingly. 
Rhysand’s fingers pump into you deeply now. Their faces are both so close to yours and it takes everything in you to continue to listen to what they’re saying. “That’s right, darling. It’s our little secret, just the three of us.”
“You’re doing so well, angel,” Azriel praises. “Just let Rhys take care of you. We’re here for you.”
“Cassian doesn’t need to know. It’s just us.”
“No one else needs to be involved. It’s our little secret.”
Their voices are thick with charm. It’s meant to soothe, to let you know this is a safe space where your desires are understood and indulged. You find yourself lost in their promises, in their intoxicating reassurance. It all creates a heady mix of emotions, drawing you deeper into the experience and further away from any thoughts of right or wrong.
Suddenly, Rhysand lifts your leg, hooking your knee into the crook of his arm. You gasp in surprise, hands grasping for any point of contact with them to keep yourself from falling. One grabs Rhysand’s bicep, the other lands on Azriel’s shoulder. His voice grows more urgent as he teases your slit with the head of his cock, his breath hot and demanding. “Remember, this is all for you. It’s just us making sure you get everything you want. Okay?”
It’s silent save for the spray of water around you all, and their eyes bore into yours expectantly. They were waiting. If you really didn’t want to do this, this was the moment to give the word. But the intensity of their gaze, the heated promises in their voices, and the way their bodies are pressed so close to yours make it nearly impossible to think clearly. The urgency in Rhysand’s voice and the steady reassurance from Azriel leave you trembling in anticipation. The pressure of their touches, the pleasure, the guilt, the need.
A soft, trembling “Yes” escapes your lips, barely audible, but it’s enough. Rhysand’s eyes light up with satisfaction, and he immediately begins to position himself more firmly, his movements confident and assured. 
Azriel’s hand continues to soothe your neck, his thumb stroking gently as he leans in closer. “That’s it,” he sighs absently.
But you reach out and grab Rhysand by the wrist, stopping him. Their expressions shift to confusion; surprise and concern evident on their faces. You pause, a note of urgency in your voice. “Condom,” you manage to say, clearly and firmly. 
Their features seem to relax a bit at that. They exchange a glance, and Azriel nods slightly before stepping away to fetch condoms from his locker.
Rhysand takes the opportunity to lean in closer, a genuine softness in his eyes as he looks at you. He gently places a hand on your cheek, his expression turning serious. “(Y/n), if you’re having any second thoughts, you can tell us. We can stop right here if you’re not completely sure, if you’re not comfortable.”
He pauses, giving you a moment to respond, his gaze unwavering and sincere. “We want you to feel good and to be sure about what you’re doing. If you want us to stop, we’ll stop. No questions asked.”
You distantly hear Azriel throw a locker shut. “Rhys… If I didn’t want this, you wouldn’t still have my leg over your arm.”
Rhysand gives a soft smile. “Alright, then.” He leans in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. It felt more intimate than the situation warranted. “Just making sure.”
Azriel returns holding a string of condom wrappers, and steps back into the shower, pulling the curtain shut behind him. Rhysand takes a foil square from him, opening it slowly. Azriel’s hands roam your body, his touch both grounding and electrifying. “We’re going to take our time with you,” he whispers, his breath against your ear. “Make sure you feel every second.”
You look down, watching Rhysand line himself back up, and your breath hitches. He’s big, the thickness of him daunting. The sight sends a thrill of anticipation through you, albeit with a touch of apprehension. He digs his fingers into your hips, the tip of his cock pushing up against your entrance. “Just relax, it’s alright,” he soothes you as he begins to push in, stretching you in ways that leave you breathless. The initial sensation is intense, pleasure and a slight burn as your body adjusts to his size. Every inch that presses into you feels like pure ecstasy. Your fingers tighten on each of them, your eyes wide and not once leaving Rhysand’s.
Azriel’s hand slides from your waist to your lower back, his touch featherlight but reassuring. As Rhysand pushes deeper, Azriel’s fingers trace the sensitive curve of your spine. He leans in, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. “You’re doing so well,” he murmurs. “He’s big, isn’t he?” His other hand cups your breast, rolling and pinching your nipple. The dual sensation of Rhysand slowly filling you and Azriel’s gentle, yet firm, touch on your body makes your head spin. Azriel’s lips find the curve of your neck once again, planting soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. The tenderness has you throwing your head back with a sigh. 
“Mhm,” you moan slightly with a soft nod. Azriel, still toying with your nipple, gently grabs your chin and guides you to look back at Rhysand. 
“Tell him, angel. Tell him how you love being split open by his cock, he wants to hear it.” 
You whine, timid, as you look him in the eyes again, the violet deep enough to drown in. “You feel so good,” you manage to whisper, voice trembling. “I love how big you are, how you stretch me.”
But Azriel’s grip on your chin tightened. “Is that what I said?” His tone was domineering. 
You swallow a gasp as Rhysand settles all the way in. “I love… being split open by your cock, Rhys,” your breathing coming in pants. “So good…”
You watch his lips curl into a smug grin. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, pulling out until only the tip was in, then gently pushing himself back into you. But Azriel isn’t done. 
“Now tell him you need more, beg him for it.” You can tell he’s got a devilish grin on his face by the sound of his voice. 
“Please, Rhys, I need more,” you keen. “I need you to fuck me harder.”
Rhysand’s eyes darken with lust, his nails digging into your hips. “That’s it, beg for it,” he growls, beginning to pick up speed. His thrusts become more powerful, sending waves of pleasure through you. 
“Harder, Rhys,” you plead, your voice quivering. “I need you to fuck me harder, please don’t hold back, I need it so, so bad—Fuck!” Your brows knit together in pleasure. 
Azriel moves behind you, his strong hands sliding under your thighs. With a swift motion, he hoists you up, your legs hooked over his arms, the hold forcing your legs as far apart as they’ll go. Rhysand takes the opportunity to explore your body with his hands, one wrapping loosely around your throat and the other gently tangling in your hair. 
“You feel so fucking good around me,” Rhysand grunts, his breath puffing against your lips. “So tight, so perfect.”
Azriel’s grip on your thighs is firm, his fingers digging into your flesh as he supports your weight. “Doing so well for us, angel,” he whispers, along with other soothing words of affirmation. 
Rhysand’s pace quickens, each thrust harder and deeper than the last. His hand around your throat tightens just enough to make you gasp, his eyes locked onto yours. “You fucking like this, don’t you?” he growls. “Being used by us, being our perfect little slut.”
“Yes, God,” you moan, your voice breathless and full of need. “I love it, Rhys, you fuck me so good.” You feel Azriel’s grip tighten and Rhysand’s hips stutter at your words.
“He fucks you good, angel?” Azriel breathes out. When you nod, Rhysand sees him whisper into your ear, the relentless stream of water muffles his words, rendering them inaudible to him. 
You shake your head adamantly, the glazed-over look clearing from your eyes. “No, Cassian’s the best,” your voice is steady despite the pleasure coursing through your core with every pump in and out. “No one fucks me like he does.”
Rhysand's thrusts slow but grow more deliberate, hitting deeper with every motion. He moves his hand from around your neck only to roughly grab your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Is that so?” he murmurs, brows raised slightly. He thrusts harder, his eyes never leaving yours, determined to make you doubt your own words.
Azriel readjusts his grip on your thighs, and you can feel his hard length pressing against your ass. “Does Cassian treat you like you deserve? Like the whore you are?” Azriel asks, his voice a husky whisper against your ear. “Does he know how to make you tremble like this?”
Your eyes water, and you bite your lip to stifle a moan. “He… he knows me better than anyone,” you manage to say, though your conviction wavers with each thrust and touch.
Rhysand smirks, his grip tightening on your hips as he increases his pace. “We’ll see,” he growls, leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dominating yours.
Azriel’s mouth trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you gasp. “We’re going to make you feel so good, angel,” he whispers for both of you to hear. “So good that you’ll forget all about him.”
Rhysand’s fingers dig into your flesh, his thrusts becoming more intense. “Tell us how it feels,” he demands, his breath hot against your lips. “Tell us who’s making you feel this way.”
Your mind is a whirlwind of sensations, the relentless pleasure making it hard to think. “It… it feels…” you gasp, unable to form coherent thoughts as Azriel’s lips and Rhysand’s thrusts overwhelm your senses.
 “Tell us,” Rhysand growls, jackhammering into you, a thumb playing with your clit. “Who makes you feel this way?”
Azriel’s breath is hot against your ear, his voice a seductive murmur. “Just admit it to yourself, (y/n).”
You’re teetering on the brink, the overwhelming sensations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “You… you’re…” you stammer, the words caught in your throat.
“Say it,” Rhysand commands, his voice rough with need.
Azriel’s lips find the sensitive spot just below your ear, his teeth grazing your skin. 
Finally, your orgasm breaks, and you cry out, your body convulsing with the force of it. “Cassian!” you scream, the name ripped from your lips as pleasure crashes over you in waves. Tears stream from your eyes now, whether from the contrition or the sheer bliss, you didn’t know. 
Rhysand's eyes flare with anger. His thrusts become more erratic and forceful, his jaw clenched in frustration. The force of his thrusts now left the previous ones forgotten. “Cassian?” he growls, voice low and dangerous. “Was Cassian the one to make you come just now?” Without a word, he grabs you from Azriel. You wrap your legs around him. Without missing a beat, he pulls out almost entirely, leaving you gasping for breath. He slams back into you with a renewed, relentless force. The raw intensity of his thrusts makes you whimper, your body trembling from the overstimulation. His eyes lock onto yours, filled with a fierce determination to make you forget everything but him.
“I don’t want you saying his name while I’m inside you, while I’m the one fucking you dumb,” Rhysand demands, his voice rough and commanding. “Look at you… A crying mess.” He pulls you down onto him with every upward thrust. “Say my name,” he demands, his tone both seductive and demanding. “I don’t care if it isn’t true, while I’m fucking you, you make me believe I’m the only one you want.”
You gasp and moan as his words cut through your tears. “Rhysand… Rhysand, you’re the one,” you whimper, barely able to form coherent thoughts. “I need you… so much.”
Behind you, Azriel’s eyes gleam with a predatory interest as he watches the intense scene unfold. His hand drifts down his body, fingers brushing against his neglected cock. He strokes himself slowly, savoring the sight of you being claimed by Rhysand, the way your body responds so eagerly to every thrust.
“Prove that I’m fucking you so stupid that all you can think about is my name. Can you do that for me? Can you forget about Cassian and make me the only one who matters?”
You nod fervently, your voice breaking. You shout a mantra of “Yes’s,” your body arching in response to his powerful thrusts. “Want you to come…”
Rhysand’s lips curl into a dark, satisfied grin as he listens to your desperate pleas. “Good girl,” he murmurs, movements growing more urgent, breathing growing heavier. “Scream my name while I come inside you,” he commands, his voice strained.
Your body is trembling from the intensity, every nerve alight with overstimulation. “Rhysand! Rhysand!” you cry out, each plea mingled with breathless moans and cries of ecstasy. “Please, don’t stop! I need more, need you to come!”
With a low, guttural sound, Rhysand finally reaches his climax. His thrusts become sharp and erratic, each one punctuated by a shudder as he fills you completely. His grip on your hips is relentless, his body convulsing with the force of his release. “That’s it,” he growls, his voice thick with satisfaction. “You’re perfect. So good for me…”
As he pulls back, panting heavily, Azriel steps forward with a smirk of his own. His gaze is unwavering, and his presence feels almost predatory. He takes you by the waist, guiding you down gently. Your legs feel like jelly, barely able to support your weight, and you stumble slightly as you catch yourself against the cold tiles of the wall.
“Wait, just a sec…” you manage to murmur, still trying to catch your breath. But Azriel isn’t having any of it. His hands are firm and decisive as he presses you against the wall chest-first, pulling your hips back, and pushing your back into an arch.
“No,” Azriel’s voice is a low, fierce growl, his eyes burning with unrestrained hunger. He steps closer, his movements assertive and commanding, an almost primal need radiating from him. As he presses you against the cold tiles, your legs buckle slightly under the weight of his presence. His hands grip your waist with unyielding strength, holding you firmly in place. “No more waiting,” he murmurs, his voice rough and laced with desire. “I found you first. I’ve been waiting my turn, watching, and now I get my time with you. You’re not getting a moment’s rest.”
Your mind is a hazy whirl of pleasure and confusion, struggling to focus on anything. The remnants of your coherence slipped away at some point while you were in Rhysand’s arms — those strong arms — leaving you a trembling mess against the cold wall. You can barely think.
 “(Y/n),” he says sharply, getting your attention, or what was left of it. “I’m going to take you, right here, hard and deep, and make sure that every time this pussy gets fucked, you wish it was me doing it. Do you understand?”
Your head nods instinctively, but your voice comes out as a breathy murmur, “Y-yes… want it… need you…” Your words barely form.
Rhysand, still catching his breath, watches with a smirk. “She’s completely lost in it, Az,” he teases, stepping up next to you to run a hand over your wet hair. “I fucked you so good. That’s what you said, right?” He chuckles lowly. 
Azriel’s eyes darken as he cuts him a look, jealous when he sees Rhysand running his hand through your hair. “You did. And now you’re done,” Azriel growls, pushing his hand off of you. You whine, missing the comforting touch. He grips your hips firmly and thrusts all the way into you, eliciting a loud shriek from your lips. He doesn’t give you time to adjust to his considerable size before he sets a powerful, unrelenting rhythm, each motion drawing a helpless gasp from your lips. Your legs shake and threaten to give out, but Azriel’s strong hold keeps you steady. 
“So fucked out you can’t even think, hm, darling?” Rhysand says in mock sympathy.
“Good,” Azriel mutters into your ear. “Brainless and begging for my cock.”
Without warning, Rhysand drops to his knees between you and the wall, his tongue tracing a line from your thigh to where Azriel is pounding into you. He wraps his arms around you, hands squeezing your thighs and ass, the sensation makes you gasp, your body jolting as Rhysand’s mouth latches onto your clit, his tongue swirling with expert precision. Azriel's grip on your hips tightens, his thrusts merciless. “Do you think about us when you're with him? Do you wish it was our hands on you, our cocks filling you up?”
Your answer is a high-pitched moan, your mind too foggy to form words. Azriel’s hand slides up to your throat, gripping firmly but not cutting off your air. “Don’t just moan like a dumb fucking whore,” he growls, the other hand slapping your cheek lightly a few times to get your attention. He doesn’t stop plowing into you for a moment. “Answer me.”
“Yes! Yes, I think about you,” you gasp out, your voice trembling. “I want you… both of you… so bad.”
Rhysand chuckles against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “Good girl,” he murmurs against your lips, his tongue flicking your clit mercilessly. “Y’know, Cass’s probably gonna be a fuckin’ mess if he finds out what you’ve been up to, especially since he’s just sitting around waiting for you at the hospital,” he whispers, his voice laced with playful menace. “Just imagine how he’d react…”
Your response is a pitiful whine, tears mixing with sweat as you weakly call out, “Cassian… Cassian… I love him…” Your voice breaks with each syllable, the raw emotion evident in your cries.
You feel Rhysand’s smirk widen against you as he looks up and meets Azriel’s eyes. “Yeah, you love him so much that you’re here with us, right, darling?”
Azriel’s thrusts don’t falter as he grabs you by the shoulders for leverage. “We know you love him, baby. Now take this fucking cock.” And he slams into you with a force that pulls sob after sob out of you. His grip on your shoulders tightens, then shifts. One arm slides up, wrapping a firm, massive bicep around your neck, pulling you back into a headlock, his control over you absolute. Each thrust of his massive cock seems to reach even deeper into you at this angle. “You love being used by us, don’t you? Just a little slut for our cocks.”
“Yes… I love it…” you manage to gasp out, your voice barely above a whisper.
Azriel’s hand comes down sharply on your ass, the sting making you cry out. “That’s right. Scream for me. Let Cassian hear how much you love this.”
He grabs your jaw, forcing you to look back at him. “Look at you, a dumb little whore, taking it so well. You like being fucked like this? Like a toy?”
“Yes… like a toy… your toy…” you whimper, your body trembling.
“Tell me how much you love it, angel. Beg for more. Beg for my cock,” he commands, his voice dripping with dominance.
“Please… Azriel… more… I need more…” you plead, tears streaming down your face.
“I bet Cassian couldn’t fuck you like this. Even when he thinks he’s being rough, he’s too gentle, isn’t he? A pretty little cocksleeve like you needs it rough, huh? Need to be reminded you’re just a hole for us to use,” Azriel growls.
“You’re nothing but a cock-hungry slut, aren’t you? Just a little plaything for us,” he continues, his words sending waves of shame and arousal through you.
Sometimes, you could swear you felt Rhysand’s tongue reach further as if he was tasting you on Azriel’s cock. The sensation is mind-blowing, pushing you deeper, if possible, into submission. Rhysand's tongue continues its relentless torment, occasionally delving deeper, tasting every thrust Azriel gives you. It's overwhelming, the combination of Azriel's cock and Rhysand's tongue driving you to the brink of insanity.
“You’re so fucking tight,” Azriel grunts, his arm tightening around your neck, making you gasp for air. “I can feel you clenching around me. You love this, don’t you? Love being filled up, love being our dirty little secret.”
“Yes… Fuck yes, Az,” you whimper, your voice raw and desperate. “I love it… love our secret.” 
Rhysand chuckles darkly, his hot breath teasing your sensitive skin. “Desperate, dripping, and fucked out of your mind for us. What would they all say…?”
Azriel's hand slides from your jaw to your breasts, roughly squeezing and pinching your nipples, adding to the exquisite mix of pain and pleasure. “I want to hear you beg for it, angel. Beg for me to fuck you harder.”
“Please… Az… fuck me harder… use me,” you plead, each word broken by gasps and moans.
He holds you up effortlessly, his strength and dominance undeniable. “I want you to scream my name,” he commands, his voice low and rough. “Scream it so loud that Cassian hears it in his fucking dreams.”
“Azriel! Azriel!” you scream, your body trembling uncontrollably as he drives you closer to the edge.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good. Show me how much this tight fucking hole loves when I fuck it,” Azriel growls.
“I’m just your — fuck — your worthless slut… your cum dump, both of you…” you whimper, the words spilling from your lips without thought. “I’ll take everything you want to give me…”
Azriel’s and Rhysand’s eyes widen in shock, both momentarily stunned by your shameless, complete submission. The brief pause is charged with a dark thrill, their expressions those of surprise and deepened desire. 
Rhysand recovers first, a dark smile stretching across his face as he leans over to look up at Azriel. “You hear that, Az? You hear what she’s calling herself?” His voice is dripping with mockery and appreciation. “Tell us again, darling, I love hearing it. How much do you like being used like this?” He leans back into you, his tongue flicking over your clit with renewed intensity. 
“Love it so much…! Just want to be filled and used… Want to make you feel good…”
Azriel let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper. “Making me feel so good, angel, you’re perfect… Gonna use you up, nothing else matters but you taking what we give you, do you understand?”
You cry out a string of “yes’s!” the muscles in your body begin to shake uncontrollably. Your ears ring, the sound melding with the pounding of your heart.
Azriel’s hands slide back down to your hips, and he pulls you closer with each powerful thrust, altering the angle to hit deeper. The shift sends a jolt of intense pleasure through you, causing your body to spasm with every stroke. You gasp, feeling every ridge and vein of his cock with heightened sensitivity.
Rhysand pauses his relentless flicking of your clit, his mouth hovering just above your sensitive skin. He takes a moment to savor the sight of you trembling and gasping, his eyes dark with satisfaction. “That’s all us,” he murmurs, his voice a low purr. 
Azriel’s breathing grows ragged. “Just let go and take it all. Your body’s ours to use however we want right now, huh?” The depth of Azriel’s movements, coupled with Rhysand’s teasing touch, pushes you to the edge yet again. You cry out, all desperate moans and incoherent babble. Rhysand’s tongue returns to its torment, tasting you come undone on his tongue, leaving you gasping and clinging to whatever coherence you have left. The ringing in your ears doesn’t subside until they finally relent. 
Azriel’s breaths come in heavy, ragged gasps as he slows his thrusts, satisfaction in his eyes. “You took us so well,” he murmurs, and he sounds almost as spent as you did. You both collapse against the cool tiles, bodies still intertwined, the sound of the water cascading around you. You reach out and turn the water off, the sudden silence only broken by the soft pants of breath.
Rhysand steps out for a moment and returns with a couple of towels from his locker. He hands one to Azriel, who begins to dry you off with a tender, almost reverent touch. Rhysand grins, wrapping his towel around his waist. "You kept up pretty well," he quips, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
You smirk, taking the towel Azriel offers you. "I think you two just like to show off," you tease, patting yourself dry. "Always trying to one-up each other and forgetting about everyone else."
Azriel chuckles, shaking his head as he dries his hair. "Can you blame us?" he replies. "We have a reputation to maintain."
Rhysand steps closer, his eyes darkening with a mix of amusement and desire. "And what about you?" he murmurs, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face. "You’re quite the little fox yourself."
You raise an eyebrow, a playful grin tugging at your lips. "Takes one to know one," you retort, enjoying the way their eyes light up at your sass.
Suddenly, you look at him with curiosity. “Wait, Rhys, what are you even doing here? How did you get in?”
Rhysand smirks, a little sheepishly. "I left my wallet and came back to get it."
Azriel chuckles. "Through the door? We were stuck in here."
Rhysand shrugs. "Oh, that door has been acting up ever since Eris jammed it last month." A look of understanding dawns on Azriel’s face.
Just then, the phone abandoned in your jacket pocket rings, jolting you all. 
Fuck.
You rush over to grab it. Your heart races as you see Cassian's name on Tarquin's phone. You answer the call, trying to steady your breath. "Cassian?”
"Hey, babe, what's taking so long? Are you on your way?"
You hesitate, then reply, "We got stuck in the locker room."
"...We...?"
"Yeah, Rhys and Az are here too."
You can hear the suspicion and jealousy creeping into Cassian's voice. "How long have you been in there? Why didn’t you call?”
“My phone is dead, remember? And I don’t know Tarquin’s password to make a call,” you explain quickly.
There’s a pause before Cassian speaks again, his tone tight. “I'll send Mor to help you out.”
You sigh, relief and anxiety mingling. "Thanks, Cass. Love you."
"Love you, too."
As you end the call, you glance back at Rhysand and Azriel, who are both watching you with a mix of concern and amusement. "Looks like Mor is on her way to rescue us," you say, trying to lighten the mood, though you can’t help but worry about your hair still being wet. She’d notice that right away.
"Better get dressed then," Azriel smirks. "Wouldn't want her to catch us like this." Rhysand chuckles, shaking his head, and you smile, the tension easing a bit.
"Definitely not..."
692 notes · View notes
bamfkeeper · 2 months
Text
SFW Headcannons: Kurt and his Bamfs
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a/n: Obviously I love the bamfs, and I had to do some of these with them because I adore them and I want my own army of them, damnit. Depictions heavily taken from Nightcrawler (2014) comic series. Pretty hasty, just a fun little set of headcannons. I hope you enjoy <3
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The bamfs were something you hadn't anticipated, there were so many and their origin was difficult to wrap your head around. Kurt tried to explain it, but you were distracted by the curious bamfs staring at you.
They were adorable, about a dozen? Maybe more? They all were curious, they looked at you with big, round eyes. They seemed so innocent, and you couldn't help but smile.
Kurt was skeptical, they usually weren't this well behaved. You adored these little guys, and welcomed them like a horde of puppies rushing to you. They all jumped on you and made cooing noises as they played, like actual puppies. They were so playful, you didn't understand why Kurt was confused.
That was until you realized that the bamfs were as mischievous as they were playful. They were little gremlins, slightly destructive, and they tended to get into trouble like toddlers.
The bamfs don't speak, but they make an array of noises. Coos, squeaks, hisses, trills, etc. They communicate mostly through noises you come to recognize and body language.
They were a handful, they would make messes and look guilty after. You wanted to scold them, but their big round eyes looked up and that guilt got to you. You forgave them of course, Kurt sometimes says you have to be a little more firm with them or they will always guilt trip you to get away with things.
You didn't care. They practically adopted you as their mama.
There are lots of them, but you always show them equal love and affection. They are pretty needy for it, and like feeling pampered in the way that you treat them.
The bamfs get jealous easy too.
They are protective of you, just like Kurt, and they won't hesitate to keep you safe the best they can. They hiss and the fur on their backs raise a little.
Don't be fooled by their small size, they are like blue darts, they are incredibly hard to fight if they attack.
Each one has their own personality. They are all playful and a handful of troublemakers, but each one has something that makes them unique. More sensitive, more artistic, more sneaky, etc.
You love sleeping now because you have a big nest full of small blue bamfs curling up against you. They're so fuzzy and warm, you hold as many as you can to your chest while they rest pile around you.
Some bamfs stay behind when Kurt goes away just to keep you company.
You really do love taking care of them, and Kurt loves to watch you love on the bamfs. He thinks it's endearing and sweet.
He doesn't understand how you seem to get the bamfs to do what you say. They listen to him, but normally he has to say something over and over before they decide to listen. With you, it's instantaneous. You ask them to calm down, they do. You ask them to stop fighting, they do. It boggles him how they just obey you so easily.
Part of him thinks they only obey you to annoy him even further, and that might be true, but they also care a lot about you and they want nothing but to see you happy.
Also these things can EAT. They consume so much food you think their little tummies are going to explode. They have a strong liking for popcorn and sweets, to which Kurt tries to limit because hyper bamfs are extremely difficult to deal with.
However, a dozen or so begging you with their eyes is so hard to say no to.
And thus, you have a house full of bamfs bouncing off the walls.
You have a lot of fun with the bamfs, they can be a bit overwhelming from time to time, but at the end of the day when you get into bed and they all come snuggling close to you, you know it's worth it.
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Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
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dividers by @/adornedwithlight
Cover photo from Nightcrawler #1 (2014)
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unorthodoxfaithxx · 2 months
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Yandere Soshiro Hoshina SFW and NSFW headcannons
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Soshiro as a yandere is a menace. Don’t let his laid-back, casual demeanor fool you. This man is very clever, and exceptionally manipulative. This means he always gets what he wants out of you, whenever. 
You don’t even realize it until it’s too late, but he gradually isolates you from your loved ones and friends.
Loves to monopolize you. Guilt trips you when you try to spend time with anyone else but him. He’ll bombard you with questions when you try to hang out with your platoon outside of work. Do you not love him anymore? What did he do wrong? He promises he’ll change, okay? Just don’t go. 
You’re not allowed to go on dangerous missions — when asked why, he’ll tell you it’s because he worries about you too much and can’t handle not knowing if you’ll return home safe or not. It distracts him from work, apparently. 
If you’re a civilian, expect him to appear at your doorstep anytime he’s off work. Don’t be surprised when he knocks on your door late at night after a strenuous mission, holds you, marches straight to your bedroom, and silently throws you on the bed with him to sleep.
And working with the government has its perks. Because of his standing, no one bats an eye when he does a full person lookup. He knows more about you than he ought to, private information like your workplace, daily schedule, identification, family background, blood type are all ingrained in his memory. 
Does it even need to be said? He’s strong. Really, strong. Which means if push comes to shove you’d never be able to run from him or escalate a fight - he’ll overpower you real easy.
NSFW
Soshiro would most likely be into BDSM. He’s a leader, and is used to power. He loves to be in control, and having you submit to him in bed drives him wild.
An absolute sadist sometimes. He loves to tease you. Overstimulating you and having you cry for him is one of his greatest guilty pleasures. 
He’s not interested in causing you harm, but enjoys spanking and other stuff you as long as you like it, too. 
Very much into a good game of chase, prey/predator.
He makes love very differently based on his emotions. If you made him jealous, regardless of meaning to or not, expect to be fucked into your mattress until you’re a ruined mess and can barely stand. If he’s in a good mood? Well, expect a gentle lover who’ll do anything you want. 
Loves the way talk to him in bed. Easily turned on the by sultry way you speak in the mornings, or during sex. Even without meaning to you get him going.
Soshina is a clean man, so don’t expect him to steal any of your used undergarments. DO expect him to have photos taken of you when you’re unaware, or straight up nude pics from your last fuck session.
(stay tuned for some much needed Soshina smut!)
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pepprs · 1 year
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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auroralwriting · 3 months
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clean 1
tfatws! bucky barnes x stark! reader (no use of y/n)
after the fight with john walker, you can tell bucky's arm was bothering him. so, you make a trip to see him.
word count: 1.6k | warnings: strong language, multiple parts, part two
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Your suit was practically scarp metal after the fight with John Walker. He had tried his hardest to absolutely obliterate your suit. Thankfully, Tony had done a great job of designing it. With a few hours of repairs, it would be good as new.
The one thing you worried about was Bucky's arm, specifically the metal one. You saw how Walker had thrown Bucky across the room into wiring, causing it to shock Bucky's whole body. It made you uneasy to think about wether or wether not the arm was in tact, that and the fact that if it wasn't, it could very well lead to a lot of pain for Bucky.
So, using Friday, you found Bucky's new address. He'd taken residence in a small apartment in Brooklyn, thankfully, not too far from where you were reclaiming the Stark Tower. One car ride later, and you stood outside Bucky's apartment feeling more nervous than you thought you would be.
While Bucky and you weren't on bad terms, it was fair to say he was still uneasy around you. I mean, he had killed your parents, and your only living relative (minus the small Morgan) was also dead. You'd been a baby when The Winter Soldier killed Howard and Maria, so how could there be any bad blood between you and Bucky? You didn't even know what you had lost. That and you were more down-to-earth than Tony, realizing quickly the guilt and shame Bucky felt for his mind-controlled actions.
Using up the last bit of confidence you had, you knocked on Bucky's door. It took less than a minute, and Bucky's surprised face was staring back at you.
"Uhm, hi," You said awkwardly.
"How'd you know where I live?" Bucky asked, confused.
You held up your phone, Friday's screen appearing. "Just a quick scan of all James Buchanan Barnes in the area. Not very many," Your joke fell flat as you stood awkwardly while Bucky processed what was happening.
"Why're you here?" He asked.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay after the fight with Walker." You replied. "I saw you get thrown into all those wires, I saw all the sparks."
Bucky gave a small shrug, "I'm alright."
You eyed his arm suspiciously, "That arm causing you any pain?"
Both eyes now fell on Bucky's arm. You looked back up to Bucky to see him staring at it still. "It's been better," He sighed, his reply honest.
"I can fix it if you'd like?" You suggested. Bucky's eyes nearly popped out of his head at your words, "Or not!" You quickly added. "I, uh, don't want to make you feel weird..er than you probably already do."
Bucky went to move his arm, and you saw the traces of pain etched into his features. "It'll be alright."
"Our fight isn't over yet, Bucky." You argued. "You should be at your best." You took a deep breath in, finding more confidence from deep within, "I promise I won't judge you if that's what you're worried about. I mean, Tony literally had a hunk of metal plunged in his chest, and he made me clean it out all the time, it was really gross and-"
"Alright, alright," Bucky held his hands up. "I don't wanna hear about Tony's gross chest-hole. Just, come on in." The door opened all the way as Bucky walked inside. You trailed behind, slowly shutting the door behind you as you observed the apartment. It was really empty, just a small couch and a coffee table in front of it. The kitchen looked rather bare, too.
You took a seat on the couch, Bucky sitting next to you. You set your toolbox down in between the both of you, putting some space between your bodies.
"I need to see the connection point, if you don't mind?" You said softly, looking to Bucky's covered shoulder.
"Oh, yeah, yeah," He muttered as he hesitantly slipped off his shirt. You quickly noticed the healing scars on his shoulder, all around the joint, but you made sure to pay no attention to them as you hovered your hand over his arm. "It's fine," He said, watching your hesitantcy.
The metal was cool on your hands as you felt around it, looking for the weak point. Once you found it, you grabbed your tools and began to work at it. You weren't used to working in silence, so you tried to make some conversation.
"Steve, uh, used to tell me a lot about you." You said. Bucky raised a brow at you as you continued. "You were his knight in shining armor, or something of the sorts."
"I guess I was," Bucky gave the smallest hint of a smile. "How'd you learn how to do this anyways?"
You shrugged as you grabbed a new tool, "Tony taught me everything I know. Engineering, chemistry, physics, you name it."
"It must've been hard, just you two." Bucky said softly.
Looking up, you shook your head, "Don't start that," You said.
"But it's my fault-"
"For the last time, Bucky, that was the Winter Soldier, not you. I do not blame you, there's no reason to keep hurting yourself over this." You cut Buck off, voice slightly sharp with intention. Bucky's eyes fell on the other side of the room as you sighed, "Tony would have forgiven you, too. He just needed time."
Bucky scoffed, "He had five years."
"Of which we were gone," You countered. "I forgive you for him and myself, okay?"
“Don’t say that,” Bucky shook his head. “Just.. don’t?”
You set down your tool, staring at him. “Do you want proof?”
This gained Bucky’s interest, “Proof?” He asked, voice laced with doubt. “What proof?”
“Who do you think protected your whereabouts in Wakanda?” You asked, “Steve and Sam were on the run. Of course Tony knew you were there. I remember when he got the call. He just sat there for a while, thinking. When we talked about it, he said he was glad you were getting help.”
“What else did he say?” Bucky said with a knowing look in his eyes.
You rolled your eyes, “It’s Tony, Buck. He says anything and everything and means almost none of it.” Bucky didn’t expect you to use his nickname. He liked the sound of it coming from your voice.
“That doesn’t mean he forgave me.” Bucky said.
“Well I do, okay? So stop being such a grump. I’m trying to be your friend, just let me, would you?” You sighed as you began to work on his arm again.
The soldier gave a small sigh, “Stop wasting your time on me when you have a company to run.”
“Stop trying to push me away. Also, Pepper’s helping me run it, so I have all the time in the world.” You argued.
After a brief moment of silence, Bucky spoke again. “I’m still not sure I’m safe to be around,”
The honesty surprised you, making you glance up at him to observe his face. “I’m literally face to face with your arm, tool inside it, and you wanna say you aren’t safe?”
Your comment made Bucky give a small chuckle, “That’s not really what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” You asked.
Bucky gave a shaky breath, “In Madripoor, when I had to take down those guys when I was pretending to be.. him,” Bucky explained, “It’s like I could still feel him trying to break free.”
You set a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, making sure to avoid his scars. “Bucky, Wankanda said you’re a free man. The Winter Soldier’s gone.”
“Maybe I’m just so used to violence now.” Bucky offered, “Maybe it’s who I am.”
“No,” You replied quickly. “You are Bucky Barnes. You’re Steve’s best friend, Sergeant Barnes. You’re Sam’s friend, my friend, and you’re a survivor. You’re one hell of a fighter, you’re a victim who pushed through all his pain and suffering to become a better man, and that’s exactly who you are.” Your words left Bucky feeling like he could cry, but he just looked away. You didn’t know whether what you said was right or wrong.
“Thank you,” Bucky muttered as you began to work on his arm again.
“It’s no problem, Bucky.” You responded. You silently worked, trying to ignore the burning sensation of Bucky’s eyes poring holes into your head.
"This world doesn't deserve you," Bucky muttered as you worked. You simply hummed in reply, making Bucky's forehead crease. "I mean it, Stark. You're one of the best people in this world."
Rolling your eyes, you put away the last of your tools. "Bucky, I'm just being a decent person."
Bucky's eyes burned with a new passion, "No decent person would do all you've done for everyone you've ever come across." Before you could protest, Bucky's metal hand grabbed your chin softly. "Don't even try to argue, I know it can be hard for a Stark but can you hold your tongue?" When you didn't reply, Bucky continued. "You're so humble, so fuckin' sweet. I mean, you came all this way just to fix my arm."
"And to check on you," Your voice came out babbled as Bucky's hold on your chin was still present.
"I don't deserve your kindness," Bucky admitted, "But here you are, giving me all of it." His eyes bore into your own, his own actions betraying his mind as he slammed his lips tightly onto your own. It took you by surprise, but you happily returned the heated kiss as Bucky's hand slithered behind your neck.
"You deserve all of it, the whole world," You mumbled as you pulled away breathlessly. "The world did you dirty, and I'll be the one to wash you of it." With your words, Bucky felt his eyes water as he kissed you passionately again.
Once you pulled apart, Bucky wiped your lips with his thumb, a small smile on his lips. "Does that mean you're gonna stick around?"
"Yeah," you giggled, "I think it does."
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yanderes-galore · 1 month
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Okay, I've been brainstorming about my pookie Gojo again and was wondering if you could write something with a jujutsu sorceress who's been getting along with romantic! Yandere! Gojo great, even friends! This is the best time he's having since his teen years (which were his best ;.;) but his friend/love interest has the opportunity to step away from the jujutsu society/school and live a normal life away from Gojo. It would keep them the most safe...but Gojo is clingy and selfish and wishes for a normal life WITH her, too.
Could prompt 15, 54, and 38 from your yandere prompt list work? Thank you :)
Sure! You said Sorceress so I assumed female reader? Here you go!
Yandere! Satoru Gojo Prompts 15, 54, 38
"Please smile for me... don't make me force you...."
"Selfish! That's what you are!"
"My life has been so barren without you...."
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Trauma, Fear of loss, Guilt-Tripping, Overprotective behavior, Forced relationship.
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Satoru can't remember the last time he felt this way.
He hasn't been this happy since his teen years. Now he's much older, a teacher, and the strongest Sorcerer out there. Truthfully, after the death of Suguru, he didn't think he was meant for such happiness... not with his burdens.
Then there was you, a Jujutsu Sorceress who transferred to Jujutsu High to help train and monitor Sukuna's Vessel.
At first, Satoru didn't think he needed the help. He was completely fine looking after Yuji just like he was with Megumi. Yet, he didn't fight the extra help.
More help can be useful for other means.
Satoru was naturally friendly when he first met you. Mostly just to welcome you even if he felt he didn't need your help. He's strong, doesn't need to rely on anyone...
Then you showed him that he isn't strong everywhere... emotion-wise he was vulnerable.
He really does hate how much you remind him of his good years. Those years were long dead now, just like his friend. But despite it all... Satoru found himself attached.
He just couldn't help it. You help take care and guide the students in his care. Plus, even if he's the strongest, you still insist on providing back up.
You two became quite the duo when you join to help teach.
Satoru was never usually one to crush on girls much when he was younger. He was always focused on himself rather than flirting around, even if he is attractive. Now that you're beside him, however...
He can feel himself crushing on you like some young school boy.
It's embarrassing how your presence makes him feel... weak? He always finds himself so nervous yet calm around you. It's just you... always you... now he can't help but feel addicted.
Satoru regrettably let himself get attached to you and be vulnerable with you. He found himself taking you on little 'dates' (They aren't dates to you) and letting himself relax. He knows he shouldn't... but your smile is everything to him.
Satoru couldn't help but fall for you. You're such a pretty and precious woman to him... you make him feel all attentive. Satoru can't help but want to protect you, to be part of your life.
Satoru wants you to need him as much as he needs you. He adores you. He can't help but hope you feel the same so he can hold you... kiss you....
He's fallen into this little obsession of his so much that he gets excited when you invite him to your office. You tell him you have to confess something, to meet you in your office whenever he's free. Satoru has never appeared in a place faster.
Then you say you have to leave.
"They allowed me the opportunity to take a break. I'm just not needed here, now. I just thought it would be the safest option... and I wanted to tell you just so you knew...."
Satoru... can't believe what you said to him. You had called him into your given office to speak to him. This is the important news you had to say...? This was your confession?
You... You want to leave? You want to leave him...? Are... Are you serious...? You didn't love him? You didn't feel the same? Satoru's gaze keeps scanning you, looking for any form of deceit. When he sees none... He can't help but break his calm exterior and snap.
"Selfish! That's what you are!" Satoru snaps, unaware of any projection he may have just flung at you. You stare at him, jumping at his sudden lack of control. It's... so unlike him.
"Satoru, what's—?"
"You're not needed here...? I need you! I NEED you to stay here, with me!" Satoru pleads, stepping closer. He corners you like an animal... yet you stand your ground the best you can.
"My life has been so barren without you...." Satoru continues his sudden rant, his voice almost cracking as he looks at you. His gaze is full of hurt. "Now that I've found you, now that I can taste that happiness again... You want to leave me!?"
"Satoru, It's for the best, I'm not trying to leave you..." You try to explain your actions, only for Satoru to pull you into his chest.
"Don't you know I love you?" Satoru asks quietly, causing your face to flush. His sudden confession does not help either of you... You still feel fearful of his sudden change in behavior.
"Satoru, no...."
"I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I can't let you go, baby...." Satoru whispers, the nickname a smooth as velvet. "Please don't go... I can't protect you if you go...."
"Don't make this harder than it has to be...."
"Why can't you tend to me for once!?" Satoru barks, making you freeze in fear. "Why can't I be happy!? I want a life with you! I want to stay with you... I want..."
Satoru pauses, seeing the fear in your face. His cold gaze softens when he sees you trembling in his hands. He... He shouldn't be taking this out on you...
"... I want you to smile," Satoru murmurs, cupping your face. "I want you to smile because you're my girl, and I'm your man. I want you... I don't want you scared of me, or anything, I just..."
In a moment of vulnerability usually unseen, Satoru pulls you into a tighter hug. You almost can't breathe
"Please smile for me... don't make me force you...." Satoru whispers, his words genuine... yet they come off as threatening. "Please show me you love me too... Please don't leave my side...."
Satoru doesn't look down at you, merely shoving his face into your neck.
He's so stressed and tired all the time... He just wants to be happy, happy with you...
He doesn't care if it means he has to keep you here by force... It's all to protect you... or so he tells himself...
He just can't lose you... He's lost too much.
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