#the hyperfixation that never left even

[friendsim-more-like-lovesim]

Currently rereading homestuck (the unofficial download version bc it’s superior) and it’s once again altering my brain chemistry

[sunnibits]

impatiently counting down the days until the ofmd s2 trailer drops and we all inevitably lose our entire fucking minds over the 0.2 seconds that izzy shows up in it

[swan2swan]

Did you ever go see Minus One?

TWICE.

Once regular, once Minus Color, HAVE I NOT RAVED ABOUT HOW IT'S THE PERFECT MOVIE????????????????

[faeymouse]

My favorite art advice are those small details that feel like absolute nonsense until you use them and then it’s like oh my god these are holy texts.

Favorite personal examples that changed the game for me (and ofc these can be broken as needed, that’s the fun of art):

-The feet are the length of the forearm

-The line angle of the nose and mouth always match the line angle of the chin

-The hand can cover the face

-The ribcage is an egg

-The elbows are parallel to the belly button

[bare1ythere]

Seeing all of your fandom friends start to move out of that interest and do other things has always been a bit painful for me but in my current fandom specifically its 10x worse because for every person that leaves NO ONE comes to replace their space. It just gets quieter and quieter and one day I think no one will be here anymore

[frecklystars]

god I really used to love my starlight so much. our anniversary would be — or is in two weeks. and i always feel hopeless and depressed when he enters my mind. I don’t go a day without thinking about my TF F/Os because I had that habit of thinking about them for 3 years straight. now it’s going to be 4 years, 1 whole year of having cptsd attacks and being triggered just looking at this fictional franchise. i used to love them so much. now I wish I never ever knew of their existence, then I never would have met my abuser and none of this would have ever happened to me

I love Barbie and Ken so damn much, but I am never going to love anyone the way I loved my robot F/Os and now they’re gone and my brain marks them as “unsafe” and marks *all* F/Os as “could be potentially unsafe. Barbie and Ken may love you now, but later they might become dangerous. You’ve learned that people you trust and love are going to hurt you and everyone you care about has bad intentions towards you. If it could happen with starscream, whom you loved more than anyone, then it’s gonna happen with Ken/Driver/Six/etc. you loved this F/O unconditionally and someone convinced you that you’re only lovable to them through violence and disrespect of boundaries to the point of feeling stalked. if this could make Starscream feel like a threat to you, when you felt 100% safe and secure with him at all times… well, just about anyone is a threat now. Nobody is ever fully safe for you” so wow it’s almost like I’m traumatized or something

and yet my brain won’t just put TF down and let me forget them entirely, they keep coming into my head and I keep mourning and grieving and crying and stress vomiting and UGH 😭😭😭 I wish I knew a way to heal but I don’t! know! how! And I can’t afford cptsd therapy any more than just once every couple of months so my healing progress with TF feels nonexistent.

and I’m scared I’ll never feel safe with ANY f/os ever again. not just TF. Like … I love Ken so much but I never feel 100% safe with him. or I might have days where I feel safe, but I don’t believe he loves me, I feel like I’m only lovable if I’m someone’s punching bag. god. I miss my old self, I can’t believe it’s been a year. This should have been 4 years of loving STSC but it’s just been a year of mourning everything I’ve ever lost

[soren-apologist]

i swear with all the tellius and soren stuff being dropped on us i can almost feel 14 year old me attempting to claw out of my body and scream about ikesoren and path of radiance for 2 hours

[internetgremlin-writes]

girl, u started posting things for Christmas and then just went missing 😭😭😭 what happened to you??? is everything okay?

Hello I'm okay I promise!

Yeah that one was on me for thinking a December writing challenge would be a fun little thing I could do in the evenings whilst on an ICU hospital rotation 🙃 long story short it was super busy in the department and I stayed late pretty much every night and then had to do the keeping the human alive things and study for quiz time at rounds with the specialist each morning so I literally did nothing but study, eat and sleep for the whole month and I just didn't get a second to relax or write 😭

It has been CRAZY since the start of December!! I had a week off for Christmas and then I was travelling again for more placement, I've been applying to jobs and my finals are in 4 months time (which sounds like a while but I have 5 years of content to review and full time rotations in the day). Have also been lowkey seeing a new guy so that's been taking up a lil bit of headspace too 😶

I've also decided 2023 has got to be the year I decide to grow up and get my shit together before I enter the real world and honestly who knew meal plans and food shopping and working out took so much time!? Not me.

As the guys who've been here for a while know, I'm never gone forever!! I'm gonna need a couple more weeks to get through a round of job interviews, finalise my revision plan, survive an equine hospital rotation and get settled in a healthier routine, then I'm planning on making a partial return once I've got a bit more control over things and I can afford a bit of a break from all of this, but I won't be back online and posting regular-regular until the end of May after my exams

The good news is I'm taking two months properly off in the summer so you can bet your assess that's going to be a project finishing marathon!!

The Christmas fics are going on pause and will be re-released next year (I know, I suck, I'm so sorry for letting you all down) and I'm going to finish Flat Spin and Obvious by September and hopefully work through my request pile as we go from now onwards to keep me in the writing mindset

Anyway, I love and miss you guys like mad! I'm shocked by how much attention this blog is getting even when I'm not posting and I promise once I've got my real life together I will be back. In the meantime keep rereading and sending stuff in, I love hearing from you all!! <3

[jackett-slut]

ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.

[niallandtommo]

.

[eggmeralda]

can you get burnout from doing nothing

[silent-partner-412]

(tears of the kingdom spoilers? kinda? idk read with discretion)

biggest disappointment with the game so far is the sky, easily. the opening island was absolutely incredible, it immediately made me want to visit every island in the sky i could because if the whole sky is like this it’s gonna be awesome right??

nope. at least so far (i’ve only explored probably less than half of the world and done two dungeons), the only remotely substantial content in the sky was one of the dungeon areas, but that was it. the rest of it is just copy pasting the exact same type of shine puzzle, or a handful of other islands. frankly it feels unfinished compared to the amount the regular overworld was changed, and the fact that they added an entire new fucking world underground with the depths. honestly it’s funny because initially i was like “wow the sky here shits on the sky in skyward sword” but now it’s seeming like both games have more or less the exact same issue with the sky.

it’s not changing the fact that it’s hard to put this game down (seriously this game is just a goddamn dopamine rush, it’s dangerous honestly) but this was one of the parts of the game i was by far the most excited about and showed so much promise at the start. it sucks that it’s not living up to that so far.

[italofobia]

steve getting dumped was such a funny scene like when i watched it for the first time i didnt care because i was like "ok very nice but WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PARANORMAL STUFF!!!!" but now i find it extremely funny like. "you dont love me? 🥺 nancy omg you dont love me? 🥺💔" YOU ARE 17 TRUE LOVE ISNT REAL FOR YOUUUUUUU

[paigemathews]

@forlorn-kumquat replied to your post “Writing a Phoebe/Coop fic and like. Can I mention...”:

Did she like him, or did she just like what he represented in her life: safety, stability, normalcy? Cause I think Phoebe's time with Cole has her so messed up that she would have latched onto any reasonably normal guy who wasn't trying to kill her and her family

Okay, so the context (and sneak peak, I guess) is Phoebe and Coop are discussing how she wasn't willing to be with Coop until she finds out about the future. Phoebe brings up how everytime she pursued the love she wasn't "suppose to," aka Cole and Miles, it goes poorly and her family is hurt in the crossfire. It's not- Okay, well, it wasn't intended to be a very in-depth thing bc it's just a oneshot that's gotten out of control on me again, but I realized that parallel between Phoebe's relationships with Cole and Miles and am kinda liking the idea of third time the charm-ing it, tbh. (I also bring up Dex, bc like I said! This is getting out of control on me again!)

She doesn't really delve deep into that relationship, so it's kinda your mileage may vary on that but here's the lines about it:

" I thought that it was just because it was Cole. But then I fell for someone I wasn’t supposed to be with, Miles, and I thought that I could change his fate. I thought I was supposed to change his fate, and instead I hurt my family again."

Idk, did that make sense? Any input is greatly appreciated!!

[soupacool]

every single time I go a stretch of time without a good hyperfixation I'm like aw :( I miss it :( I don't feel alive when I'm not obsessing over something :(((

and then I get hyperfixated and I turn into a monstrous creature who must Consume Related Content 24/7 or I break out in hives. I have to talk about it to anyone who is willing to listen. I must. browse. the wiki. girl help I'm losing it

[etherealspacejelly]

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.