Tumgik
#the idea of him being awful at pretending is much funnier
strangesickness · 2 months
Text
i'm very fond of the idea of patricia becoming close with the losers when they're adults (after derry part 2 in which stan survives because its MY headcanon and i make the rules) and i need you guys to consider that she fucking hates bill's writing in the novel. stan buys bill's books when they come out and patty tried to read them and i don't have the book with me right now so i can't get the direct quote but her response basically amounted to "why would anyone want to read something so awful!?"
so imagine her husband gets back from this whole ordeal and he has all these new friends with him now and one of them is that guy who wrote all those shitty books she hates! like thats so funny to me. at first she tries to pretend she thinks his writing his good "oh i haven't read any of your work but stanley loves it! it's so amazing you're such a talented writer" but eventually he finds out she thinks his writing is utter dogshit and he can't even find it in himself to be offended because she's so outraged that it's kinda hilarious. i think she would lighten up on her criticism a bit after talking to him about his books but she would give him so much hell for his ridiculous premises. she still refuses to read more than a chapter of any of the books. she watches one movie based off one of his books and is absolutely horrified by it and refuses to watch any more, he insists it was just a bad adaptation.
bill and patty friendship PLEASE it'd be so funny
i think this becomes 100x funnier if she thinks richie's funny, and in this AU he has a comeback writing his own material after derry 2 and she loves his acts. like bill is just standing there with his horror novels like, "wait so she thinks my novels are reprehensible but richie's comedy isn't????" like that's hilarious. imagine being bill and someone thinking the content of your novels is more crass than the content of richie "trashmouth" tozier's stand-up???? richie is delighted when he finds out and takes every possible opportunity to make fun of bill for being a godless heathen among other things
91 notes · View notes
lunar-wandering · 1 year
Text
Shadowheart AU
If not obvious this is a Shadowpeach centric AU. It’s mainly a comedy but the way I’m gonna lay this out is gonna make it feel like an angst AU at first purely because it makes the punchline funnier that way.
Anyways, so;
Macaque just straight up doesn’t speak for the first half of this AU, aka, all of the canon show thus far. He covers his mouth with his scarf, and does mumble sometimes, but it’s too quiet for anyone to hear.
Wukong, knowing that the Macaque that he knew would absolutely never shut up, is under the impression that this one is an imposter, aka someone pretending to be his dead friend. Macaque can’t tell him that this is not the case, as he refuses to speak.
Macaque does have a method of communication though. He uses note cards.
Wukong, in episode 9: there's no way that's the real Macaque, the Macaque I know would've NOT shut up while doing all this awful stuff Macaque: (pauses in the middle of being about to throw an attack, digs through his pockets, pulls out a piece of paper and yeets it at Wukong's face) Wukong: gAH- Wukong, peeling off the paper and looking at it: .... -(The paper says "You're a dumbass")- Wukong: ....did you fucking have this prewritten??? -(another piece of paper smacks Wukong in the face- this one having ‘YES’ written on it)-
Macaque has a heart shaped clip on his scarf, Wukong has a heart shaped clip in his hair. (Pictures of the designs will be at the bottom of this post)
Macaque’s clip turns blue when Lady Bone Demon partially possesses him, and when he’s freed by the Samadhi fire it turns grey and breaks in half, causing his scarf to come loose from around his shoulders, so he has to cling to it to prevent it from falling.
Wukong's clip shatters when he's possessed. His hair, normally kept in a braid in this AU, also ends up loose. (He continues to wear it mostly loose afterwards). When he's freed, Macaque rebraids that tiny bit and takes out one half of his heart clip thingy, and uses it in replacement of the one Wukong lost. The half a heart in Wukong's hair turns purple and the one Macaque puts back on his scarf turns golden pink.
Wukong was too tired to protest the action in the moment/was lost in thought over the idea of his old friend being alive and decided to indulge in the illusion for a bit, and then later he just... can't seem to want to get rid of the heart clip. He stares at it like "this isn't from the real Macaque, it's from an imposter" but still just, has this part of him that so desperately wants to believe in the illusion so he just... leaves it.
Post Lady Bone Demon's defeat, Wukong begrudgingly lets Macaque hang around even though he's still under the impression that he's, yknow, not the real Macaque. Even so though, he did help out, and MK is weirdly deciding to let him hang around, so Wukong lets him stay.
Wukong finds out Macaque is the real Macaque after seeing him sitting on Flower Fruit Mountain with his glamours down, playing with the monkeys like he used to. He promptly leaves for like, 4 days to process this revelation.
He also kicks a tree half way across the mountain during this time.
Okay. Time to reveal the main plot point. The reason Macaque doesn’t talk. Drumroll please.
Macaque is cursed to end every sentence with “I love you”.
Obviously since this is Macaque and he wouldn’t want to be caught dead saying “I love you” in ANY context, he decided to just shut up entirely.
This of course leads to scenes earlier in the AU such as;
Wukong: how dare you. how dare you impersonate him. do you know how much he meant to me? He was my world. Macaque, under his breath: tch, says the one that killed me- I love you Wukong, genuinely didn’t hear: w h a t?? Macaque, too flustered to do anything else: (punches Wukong in the face)
What’s REALLY fun about this AU is that in this AU specifically. Wukong’s love language is words. So after Macaque’s curse get’s revealed they’re both just dying 24/7.
It’s hysterical really. Like;
Wukong: i swapped your coffee with decaf mint flavoured tea Macaque: i fucking hate you, i love you Wukong: getting mixed messages but i love you too-
And then there's twenty seconds of silence and then Macaque has his head on the kitchen counter and is clinging trying to use it to keep himself from fully melting into the shadows and Wukong is putting his hands over his face and quickly walking away because he said "i love you too" on IMPULSE.
Wukong is the LAST PERSON to find out about the curse by the way. Everyone else found out about it because Macaque slipped up and said “Thank you, I love you.” when someone handed him something, and although the others thought nothing of it at first, Macaque immediately tried to backpedal and stumble his way out of what he just said, and since he has to end every sentence with “I love you” he basically ends up outing himself.
The way Wukong does find out about the curse is something in and of itself though.
Y’see, Macaque wanted to apologize to Wukong. For obvious reasons. He'd already done so for the others through doing requested favours and stuff and writing apologies to them but he had NO IDEA how he should start trying to apologize to Wukong.
So he goes to Sandy for advice, and, well, as it happens, Wukong happened to be secretly chilling on top of one of the crates on Sandy’s boat when this occurred.
Macaque: ........how do i tell Wukong I'm sorry -I love you? Sandy: well telling him you're sorry will probably take a while, you've had a long history with him and theres a lot to make up for, starting with smaller actions and favours first might work. Now though, telling him you love him would take quite a bit longer- Macaque: thATS NOT WHAT I MEANT THAT WAS THE CURSE AND YOU KNOW IT- I LOVE YOU Sandy, patting Macaque on the head: mhm yep i love you too lil monkey
Wukong falls off the crate he was sitting on and down into the water, but neither Sandy nor Macaque notices.
Wukong tries to just ignore it at first. Macaque starts doing small chores and favours around Flower Fruit Mountain and Wukong tries his absolute best to pretend that this is normal.
Eventually this accumulates to Wukong forcing Macaque to verbally apologize to him on his doorstep, except this backfires horribly because hearing the first “I love you” being technically directed at him absolutely murders him on the spot. Macaque doesn’t even notice Wukong break over it because he himself gets so flustered after two sentences that he instinctively teleports away.
Them actually talking through their issues actually takes at least a week because they both keep getting distracted by Macaque’s curse and have to take hour long breaks after only a couple minutes of conversation.
There’s a couple more things other than that but I think I’ll stop this post here by saying that when they kiss each other they leave behind little heart shaped marks on each others faces.
Oh. One last thing actually.
Once they get back together, Wukong calls Macaque “his Shadowheart” in this AU.
Anyways here’s the low quality design notes I have for this AU.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
261 notes · View notes
an-au-blog · 5 months
Note
hello again!!
i'm quietly dying to know if u!buggy is present when robin translates the skypeian poneglyph & the note roger asked oden to leave on it. just. an amnesiac clown staring at this giant rock, too busy silently screaming what does it meeeean to hear robin explaining what it means. cracks me up.
(i also love the thought of there being a pattern of older locals recognizing buggy just a moment too late as 'one of the kids from back then'. i love a running gag that doubles as foreshadowing! though crocus would surely recognize buggy on sight, i bet he assumes buggy's being cryptic on purpose when he "pretends" not to know him, and goes along with it.)
i'd misremembered that conversation at shakky's bar as having only a handful of the strawhats present, and so was imagining that buggy had no idea they'd gotten a lead on his past, and rayleigh would only see buggy on the kizaru-kuma-strawhat battlefield for a minute before he gets kuma'd away… on one hand, i still love this idea bc i love pain. otoh that conversation happening with everyone but buggy present feels wrong. and a "don't tell me, i'll find out the truth for myself!" ending to rayleigh and buggy reuniting is so fitting, it's the same argument robin & luffy make to rayleigh in that scene!
i looove the thought of buggy losing track of luffy after marineford. what a situation he's in now!! surrounded by dozens of ex-prisoners who idolize him, maybe two he gets along with, a half-dozen he's terrified of, and shanks. he's heard stories from luffy, but that's luffy! you can't go to him for realism or accuracy!! but... this shanks guy does have a boat... and something about his face is kind of familiar...
how long does it take shanks to realize buggy acting like he doesn't know him isn't an act, i wonder? how many old grudges does shanks halfheartedly apologize for, trying to get buggy to give in and acknowledge him? is one of those apologies the thing that makes something click for buggy? does he freeze up, or immediately snap and shout at shanks bc he's misremembered why buggy was mad at him that time? :3c
xoxo, difan
Hello, Difan!
I thought about that like once when I was thinking about Robin in the u! universe, but then i forgot and never really thought about it again lol. In my mind he comes along somewhere between East Blue and Alabasta, though if anyone wants to adopt this au, I'm fine with whatever interpretation or spin they want to put on it.
Now that you said it, I agree, it would be really fun if the locals recognize him randomly like "yeah, yeah, that was the red-nosed kid! Aw, he was so cute, we gotta live him! Pity he's not with his friend though, hope nothing bad happened to the other one..." And Buggy just going"ifk what you're talking about, you're being weird af" and everyone just assumes the other kid (shanks) died and it's a painful memory so they're all like "Oh, yes of course... our bad... if there's anything we can do to help you tell us, it's been so hard for you, we're so sorry ". Which confuses Buggy even more, but hey, he's getting positive attention, even if it's pity, and he's not going to complain about it.
Buggy meeting Rayleigh in the bar is so dear to me. Idk if it'd be realistic but I feel like he'd be very defensive qt first but then Rayleigh would be "Buggy? Is that you? I barely recognized you, you've grown so much, and become such a strong young man" and then something snaps and he just falls into his arms absolutely sobbing. He doesn't know why, he can't remember him on a conscious level, but they still jave this father/son moment of comfort.
I don't remember if I said this in the last post or if I thought of it now, but him losing Luffy at Marine Ford and clinging to Shanks for protection would be funnier (to me) if he goes by the logic of "Okay, he's scary, the generals are even scared of him, Luffy likes him and he seems fond of Luffy. He looks a bit familiar so idk if he would have some grudge with me if I've wronged him in some way... so I'm just going to use my contact with Luffy as leverage!" So he just starts going "You know Luffy, right? Well I'm in his crew" (which breaks Shanks's heart because... why isn't he in his crew? What did Luffy offer him that Shanks can't?? And why is he jealous of his child protege? Buggy sees he's a little upset by it so he continues "So if- if you're his friend and care for him, you'll take me and my men to safety... and not kill me.......... please."
And he switches from being sad to being so confused like,
Shanks: wdym I'll do it because of Luffy. I'm not helping you because of Luffy,
Buggy absolutely terrified that his one strategy of manipulating his one ticket to freedom has expired:..... wh.. why?
Shanks: I'm gonna help you because we're friends! You're my best friend Buggy!
Buggy: We are? I mean uh, we are.
Shanks assuming he remembers him and being do happy: So you remember me?
Buggy afraid if he says no, Shanks will get mad and leave him: ... yes.
Once in the ship (because the prisoners are so many) everyone sleeps wherever they can. Except for Buggy. Shanks insists on giving him his bed or at least his a place in his room. "We were bunkmates after all" he says but Buggy just smiles and nods hoping he doesn't find out he doesn't actually recognize him. Shanks can feel Buggy is on edge the entire time and he tries asking but Buggy always goes "No, no it's fine, everything's great haha" so he starts testing the waters by asking "hey do you remember *insert thing that never happened* that was so crazy, right?" To which Buggy'll go all "yeaaaah, absolutely haha, very crazy that happened I remember!" And after the third or fourth time Shanks couldn't take it and confronts him about it. Buggy is furious but also devastated because that's it. He's going to kill him now. Maybe even worse. (Keep in mind Buggy has seen how cruel people can be and his time with the straw hats doesn't help him think better of people, because they also keep bumping into horrible people)
He starts scream crying at him, he's already a deadman, what else does he have to lose, might as well let it all out. Meanwhile, Shanks is so confused because he understands absolutely nothing.
38 notes · View notes
quietwingsinthesky · 1 month
Note
📚🍬🔪🦷
what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 
(oh, it’s this little bit i’d completely forgotten about that i think i scribbled down immediately after finishing hellbent.)
“And what color were Clara’s eyes?” the Doctor asks, slipping it into the rhythm of their conversation like any other question. Even’s fingers drum against the metal of the staircase they’ve seated themself on, two soft thuds of flesh and two clacks from parts that aren’t very good at pretending to be fingers anymore. They tip their head to the side.
“You don’t want my memories of her, Doctor.” Even drums again. One-two, three-four. “We weren’t exactly friends.”
“Nonsense. You’d have loved Clara,” he says it on reflex. He waits for something to follow, some internal feeling that he’s correct in his assumption or entirely off base. Nothing comes.
“You loved Clara,” Even corrects, gently. It sounds like pity, and it grates.
“See? You’re already telling me things.”
“You knew that already,” Even says. “You knew, or you wouldn’t be asking in the first place.” They shift forward, crossing their arms over their knees. “Please don’t ask,” they whisper.
Post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character.
Well, let me set up my usual fallback of Supernatural to allow me wiggle room for my Doctor Who take, but: my unpopular opinion is that Jack is an adult. He’s treated as an adult in canon. Making him into a child in canonverse stuff will have me squinting in suspicion for most people. obviously, not my trusted and beloved mutuals who are Understanders (and. more importantly. who I know are not harboring some unexamined ableist ideas.) but. everyone else does not get a pass and will be gazed upon with disdain :D actually, the bigger crime of making Jack a child and simplifying him is that you’re being boring, the fun of him comes from how messed up his situation is and how his sudden jump to adulthood is both horrifying but also one of the few ways he can grasp at control.
anyway, that’s a settled hot take in place so that i can say one for doctor who that im not sure is a hot take or not because i don’t know the fandom as well. but anyway, it’s that 90% of eleven and river’s scenes together did such a disservice to both of their characters that it actively uninvested me in the romance they were trying to sell. I feel like i may have said this before, but it’s like there’s a switch they flip when it’s time for the episode’s mandated eleven and river flirting time where they both turn into much more generic characters acting in ways that feel very ooc so that the show can. i don’t know, really. create tension, I suppose? But the tension falls flat because they aren’t acting like themselves so you can’t get invested in this relationship because it doesn’t feel like it’s being built off of them connecting. And it really stands out as just, truly awful, because you’ll also have some fantastic scenes actually exploring their relationship and the effects it has on both of them, the positive and the negative, and yes, I am talking about the broken wrist scene from Angels in Manhattan again because i wish all of elevenriver was like that, and it’s not, and i’m mad about it-!
what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
okay, i know it says research but it is much funnier to me if i just say that. sometimes. you need to describe a character touching something and you need the physical stimuli in your hands to really describe it, right? right. understandable. okay, so going from that, sometimes you need your character to say, lick a chair and describe that, and you realize you have no idea how to because how would you know what licking a chair is like? and then you look at your dining room chair from across the room. and you have to make a decision here. about what matters more to you. your dignity or your accuracy.
and if you’re a good writer, i think accuracy always wins.
share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on
breathing exercises are bullshit. you need to find a chant. you need to find something you can memorize and then when you feel yourself getting anxious, you need to start repeating it over and over and over. anything at all. what matters is that you’re saying it, out loud, and you can hear yourself saying it and you need to like the words so you’re focusing on what you’re saying, and this will save you. When I was in middle school, I did exorcisms. In high school, I’d repeat monologues from Hannibal to myself. Nowadays, I’m usually using the “heart. lungs. liver. nerves.” chant from slay the princess because it is short and ominous in a way that can be funny after a few repetitions and helps laugh the anxiety out of me.
and in a pinch, if you don’t have anything memorized, pull up the nearest piece of written text you have and start reading it out loud and don’t stop reading it until you’re calm again, and keep going a little after that just to make sure. Could be a fanfic you’ve got on your phone or could be an actual book. I’d reccomend the Iliad, because half of that book is just reciting name after name after name and you will start to hear how ridiculous it is rather than hearing your own anxiety, and it’ll help. you say “so and so brought 50 ships and he was the son of that guy who was king of this. and also this other dude, son of yet another guy we will never mention again, friends with holy shit another guy-“ and eventually you’re going to start giggling your way out of an anxiety attack.
4 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
a silly little comic that’s actually quite serious about adrien and what he’s thinking about during his Adrien the Fragrance ad campaign
606 notes · View notes
robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
Text
Spilled Pearls Extra 1
- ao3 -
Lan Xichen spent a lot of time learning his family’s rules.
They were important to his uncle, who raised him, and that meant that they were important to him. They were his heritage and his birthright, and anyway he loved his uncle and it made him happy which was good enough for Lan Xichen, but that didn’t make learning them easy or anything. Each rule had to be learned both by itself and in context with others; it wasn’t as simple as memorizing a list and calling it done. You had to learn them and know them and then live up to them to the best of your ability, and that was the work of a lifetime – which Lan Xichen, now six years old, had been informed was an awful long time.
Moreover, though his uncle had never said so, Lan Xichen had heard from the other people in the sect that learning the rules was important because following the rules would make sure he didn’t turn out like his father, who had let down so many people in their sect. Many of the elders said things like that when his uncle wasn’t around, though his uncle never did – his uncle spoke well of their father, although in abstract tones, but sometimes he looked sad about it, too, and therefore Lan Xichen was determined to listen and learn the rules well so that he would never disappoint his uncle the way his father had.
Of course, there were other advantages to learning the rules.
The commentary, for instance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1
Talking behind other people's backs is prohibited.
“Unless it’s really funny,” Lan Yueheng said, and – as always – seemed not to notice the way Lan Xichen’s uncle glared at him. “Oooh, actually, let me give you an example, I just heard the best story –”
-
“If you don’t understand those around you, you will be at their mercy, rather than they at yours,” Wen Ruohan said, perfectly poised and with a sharp smirk, just the way he always was unless he happened to be talking to Lan Xichen’s uncle. “How better to learn to understand people than to know what others say about them when they are not around?” His smirk widened. “Look at what people say about me.”
-
“What are you supposed to do if you don’t?” Lao Nie asked, grinning wickedly. “Say mean things about them in front of their faces instead? I can do that!”
-
“I mean, if it’s news, it’s not gossip, right?” Cangse Sanren said, tapping her cheek while pretending to be thoughtful as if it would hide her great big smile. “I’m sure that’s how I learned it, and I was a very good student – no, no, don’t listen to what your uncle says!”
-
“Well, I wish my mother would do less of it,” Wen Xu said, rolling his eyes. He’d come along to visit with his father again the way he always did – he was always tagging along with his father, really, and his father indulged him more often than he probably should, according to both sects’ elders. Not that Wen Ruohan listened to anyone but Lan Xichen’s uncle. “Sometimes I think that’s all she does! It’s boring!”
-
“If you mean what you say and say what you mean, then your friends will never doubt you whether you are in front of them or not,” Nie Mingjue said, then frowned. “I mean, I think?”
-
“Listen to A-Jue,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said when Lan Xichen reported on the discussions, throwing up his hands in disgust. “He’s the only one of the lot of them worth anything.”
“It’s his mother’s contribution,” Lao Nie opined.
“It’s certainly not yours,” Wen Ruohan said. “Anyway, what was wrong with A-Xu’s answer? It was accurate.”
“It has nothing to do with the rule!”
“That’s because I’ve already mastered it years ago,” Wen Xu said cheerfully. Surprisingly cheerfully, given that Nie Mingjue was sitting on him again; maybe he’d gotten used to Nie Mingjue always winning.
Lan Xichen’s uncle rubbed his forehead. “A-Xu, if you really want to go copy the rules on humility a few more times, you don’t have to wait for me to instruct you to do so –”
“He’s right, though,” Cangse Sanren cackled from her husband’s lap. “Madame Wen is an amazing source of gossip, but it does get a bit boring sometimes. You can’t punish him for being right!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2
Do not succumb to rage.
“Unless there’s a very good reason,” Lao Nie said, picking Lan Xichen up in one arm as if he weighed as little as a feather, and Nie Mingjue in the other just as easily, even though he was much bigger. “In the world there are many injustices, and it is your duty to fight against them with everything that you have – if you are wholly above the feeling of rage, then you have forgotten your empathy, and soon will follow the crooked path into indifference.”
-
“The issue is succumbing to rage,” Wen Ruohan said. “You can be angry, or even furious, but you should always maintain your self-control. Once you’ve mastered yourself, you can master others.”
-
“He means get revenge,” Wen Xu said knowledgably. “You get angry, then you get even.”
-
“Oh, rage?” Cangse Sanren asked, rolling up her sleeves. “Well, as it happens, I’m going to go have a chat with your mother, I’ll give you a good demonstration of –”
“You are doing no such thing,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said, exasperated. “Get back here.”
-
“It’s a waste of time,” Lan Yueheng said. “Getting angry takes time and energy. Why not be happy instead?” He thought about it. “Well, I mean, sometimes cursing a little bit when something goes wrong is nice. Even the calmest concoction needs to blow off steam sometimes to retain its equilibrium!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3
Do not disrespect your elders.
“And I,” Wen Ruohan said, looking positively gleeful, “am the eldest.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said at once. “Xichen, you hear me? Don’t listen to him.”
-
“There’s a difference between disrespect and disobedience,” Cangse Sanren said. “Being old doesn’t mean being right, it means that there’s a greater probability that they’ve encountered something in their lifetime that will give them an insight you lack. You should honor and respect their insight, but always make your own decisions in the end.”
-
“I mean, you could always listen to me, instead,” Lao Nie said. “I’m your elder too, aren’t I?”
-
“Don’t listen to either Uncle Wen or my father,” Nie Mingjue said, looking long-suffering. “They both like to play tricks.”
-
“Wait,” Lan Yueheng said. “I’m an elder? Since when? That’s a terrible idea!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4
Do not take advantage of your position to oppress others.
“Don’t listen to Wen Ruohan,” Cangse Sanren said.
-
“Don’t listen to Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Yueheng said.
-
“Definitely do not listen to Hanhan,” Lao Nie said. “At all. In any way.”
-
“Probably best not to listen to A-Xu’s dad,” Nie Mingjue said, and glanced over apologetically.
“No, no, you’re right,” Wen Xu said, nodding furiously. “He’s kind of awful about these sorts of things.”
-
“They’re all being absolutely ridiculous,” Wen Ruohan said. “I’m perfectly reliable on such matters. After all, what’s the point of working so hard to obtain and maintain power if you don’t oppress those that deserve it? If you don’t take advantage, who will?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5
Do not make assumptions about others.
“I used to assume that Cangse Sanren was  a normal human being,” Lan Yueheng said. “Goes to show what I know, right?”
-
“I used to assume that Wen Ruohan was a perfectly normal self-absorbed murderer that would keep his greedy hands to his own people,” Cangse Sanren said, sounding irritable. “And not have perfectly ordinary rogue cultivators followed around by complete weirdos because he’s secretly worried about them like a mother hen!”
-
“I used to assume that people would be grateful when someone rescued them and their husband from near certain death,” Wen Ruohan said.
-
“I used to assume that the funniest thing in the world was watching Hanhan argue with your uncle,” Lao Nie said, chin on his hands. “Little did I know that adding Cangse Sanren to the mix made it even funnier.”
-
“Grown-ups are stupid sometimes,” Wen Xu said. “That’s why you have to verify everything they say for yourself.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6
Embrace the entirety of the world.
“By being righteous,” Nie Mingjue said.
-
“By taking it all over, as far as I can tell from my father,” Wen Xu said.
-
“Depends on what you define as the world, doesn’t it?” Lao Nie said.
-
“Be ambitious,” Wen Ruohan said. “Define it broadly.”
-
“I mean, I don’t think your arms are quite long enough yet, the world’s pretty big,” Lan Yueheng said. “But I pick you up and swing you around, maybe they’ll stretch a little. Want to try?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7
Do not associate with evil.
“I mean, it’s true, but you have to think carefully about what you categorize as evil,” Lao Nie said. “Just being a man-eating nation-destroying inhuman amoral nine-tailed fox isn’t automatically enough to qualify, right?”
-
“That’s, uh, a really weirdly specific example,” Lan Yueheng said. “I feel like at least three of the things on that list probably rise to the level of evil? Or have I missed something?”
-
“Lao Nie said – oh no, not again,” Wen Ruohan said, and patted Lan Xichen on the head before he stalked out the door. “I’m the only evil you should associate with, you hear me?”
-
“I bet she’s got teeth in interesting places,” Cangse Sanren said. “I’ve got to meet her…hmm? Evil? Does that really matter? It’s going to be funny.”
-
“She’s not evil,” Nie Mingjue said. “She’s pretty nice, actually. She calls me ‘meatball’ and ‘pork bun’ and says I’m so cute that she wants to eat me right up.”
-
“I’m pretty sure she means it literally,” Wen Xu said. “Gear up, Xichen! We’ve got to go save Mingjue!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8
Do not tell lies.
“People don’t believe the truth, so why not tell it?” Cangse Sanren said.
-
“Using the truth makes your misdirections more believable and your critiques more devastating,” Wen Ruohan said.
-
“Why would you even want to lie?” Nie Mingjue asked, puzzled.
-
“There’s a difference between not telling lies and not having the slightest bit of tact,” Lao Nie said, rubbing his face. “Maybe you can help A-Jue figure that out.”
-
“Silence is always a good alternative when you don’t want to admit to stuff you’ve done that maybe, just maybe, might annoy some people,” Lan Yueheng said, looking over his collapsed laboratory with a wince. “Not that I’d know anything about that, of course.”
-
“Telling a lie will only get you into more trouble later when they figure it out,” Wen Xu said. “Because then they’re angry at you for what you did and for lying about it. It’s just not worth it!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9
Do not disregard the rules.
“Unless they’re really stupid,” Lao Nie said.
-
“I mean,” Nie Mingjue said, wrinkling his nose. “As a general rule, yes. But it’s different if following the rules would permit injustice to happen, that’s for sure.”
-
“It’s a matter of picking what rule is the relevant one,” Wen Ruohan said. “Be thoughtful, and you can have the moral high ground in any situation…your uncle is irritatingly good at that.”
-
“You’ve got to know what the rule is before you break it,” Wen Xu said. “That way you can decide if it’s worth the cost of breaking it or not.”
-
“If there’s any you think are wrong, you should say something,” Lan Yueheng said. “The rules are a gift handed down from our ancestors and ought to be respected, but each of us has a duty to put in our own thoughts as well – our contribution to the next generation down. Anyway, your uncle will probably be able to put together a reasonable argument as to why changing the rule is appropriate and truer to our sect’s principles than the version carved on the wall. He’s good at that!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10
“I want the rules to be a foundation under your feet,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said. “They should give you confidence in your actions and pride in your family and sect; they should not feel like they are binding you. If they are, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”
Maybe if it was just Lan Xichen and his uncle, the two of them and maybe also little baby Lan Wangji and the rather unreliable Lan Yueheng and the even more unreliable Lao Nie, Lan Xichen would immediately and unhesitatingly agree, and then never say anything anyway no matter what he felt. He loved his uncle so much, and every one in a while his uncle seemed so sad; he couldn’t bear to be the one to add more pain and burden to his uncle’s shoulders, already weighed down with the expectations of the sect that should have been his father’s responsibility and would one day be Lan Xichen’s.
But it wasn’t just them, and Lan Xichen frowned a little, really thinking about it. “Maybe,” he said after a while. “Or maybe I’d tell Uncle Wen about it, and then he’d find a way to fix it, or to tell you about it in a way that didn’t make you sad. Does that work, too?”
His uncle looked amused.
“Yes,” he said. “That works. Just remember –”
“Don’t listen to him about ‘oppressing others’?”
“Exactly.”
217 notes · View notes
darks-ink · 3 years
Text
Spark
Prompt: How does being constantly exposed to high amounts of ectoplasm affect the citizens of Amity Park? Prompt by: @robotbeowulf Word count: 2,487
[AO3] [FFN] [more Phic Phight fics]
---
Danny shrugged, shifting his backpack to lie a little more comfortably on his shoulders, and pretended very hard to be a regular student. It wasn’t easy, but it hadn’t been easy for the last two years. The constant secret-keeping from everyone was wearing on him.
Not to mention the constant ghost attacks, of course. He was pretty sure all of Amity Park was covered in a thick film of ectoplasm by now, considering how much of it he and the other ghosts spilled and fired during the almost-constant battles. Sure, his parents said that the stuff evaporated and then returned to the Ghost Zone, but his parents also said that humans couldn’t have ghost powers, and Danny was the (mostly) living proof that that wasn’t true, either.
He was jerked from his thoughts—literally—by a fist, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him against the lockers he had been walking by.
“Hi, Dash,” Danny muttered, trying to hide away his weariness with apathy. “Good morning to you too.”
“Fentonia,” Dash growled back, leaning in close to Danny’s face. A little too close, thank you, ever heard of personal space? “Finally.”
Danny bit back the automatic reply—aw, were you waiting for me?—and settled for grimacing at Dash.
Not that that went over well, of course, because Dash’s other hand found its way to Danny’s shirt as well. With Danny well in his grasp, Dash lifted him, slamming him against the lockers again, this time with his feet off of the ground—no easy way of getting out. Not without using his powers, at least.
“What’s wrong, Fenturd?” Dash asked, pressing Danny against the lockers even harder. “Ghost got your tongue?”
Ha ha, how creative. How funny. Danny was sure he’d come up with funnier jokes in his sleep. “Fuck off,” he grunted at Dash as his back was slammed against the hard metal behind him again.
“Ooh, he’s got bite today.” Dash leaned back a bit, a vicious grin on his face, then crowded Danny against the lockers again. “Oh, no, never mind. Looks like he’s all bark.”
Danny snarled back at Dash before he’d really thought about it—before he could stop himself, really. It wasn’t even words, really, just an animalistic snarl and the pulse of his core that meant his eyes were glowing.
Oh, fuck. And Dash was way too close to miss that.
“Hey, there you go!” Dash… cheered? The fists clenched in Danny’s shirt released, and his feet thumped down on the ground before he’d really caught on to what was happening. Dash was already turning away from him, nudging Kwan. “See, I told you Fenton could do it too!”
That… was not the reaction he’d expected to get to ghostly glowing eyes. What the fuck?
Kwan laughed audibly, and Danny wrenched his eyes away from Dash and towards the other boy. The… the laughing, visibly cheery boy.
Seriously. What was going on?
“So, uh… No bullying anymore today?” Danny asked, and then felt like he could kick himself. Absolute moron. Who asks that sort of thing?
Dash snorted, apparently amused (amused???) by Danny’s idiotic question, and waved a dismissive hand. “What’s the point? I got what I was after.”
Okay? Good? That explained absolutely nothing. If anything, Danny felt even more confused. Had Dash seriously been bullying him trying to get him to glow eyes his? To snarl at him?
What???
Apparently he vocalized that last thought, because Kwan’s eyes turned back to him, a hesitant grin on his face.
And then Kwan’s eyes flashed a bright, glowing, cyan.
Danny, still leaning against the lockers he’d been pressed to, froze up automatically. He knew what that meant. Had spent enough time combing through his parents’ research—and with his own experience—to know that briefly glowing eyes couldn’t be caused by ordinary ghostly causes. An overshadowing ghost altered the eye-color of their host, but that was constant.
And, if there had been a ghost, Danny would’ve felt them. He’d grown more than strong enough to sense ghosts even if they were hidden in a host.
“He’s had them for a while.” Dash spoke casually, like this wasn’t a big fucking deal. “We couldn’t find anybody else with that brand of ecto-contamination, y’know, so Kwan was feeling super down about that.”
“Dash,” Kwan groaned, sounding put-upon. As carefully as Danny listened, the only thing he could hear was the undercurrent of care Kwan held for Dash. For his friend.
“Shut up, man.” Dash nudged his friend, then picked up his explanation that didn’t explain anything. “See, but I knew I had seen you do them too. The glowy eyes, I mean.” Dash underlined the latter with a vague gesture at his own eyes. “So I just had to push you into doing them while Kwan could see, to prove that he wasn’t the only one.”
“Uh.” Danny blinked at them, feeling like he missed everything Dash had said after the words “ecto-contamination”. What?
No, seriously, he knew he’d uttered that word a lot these past five minutes—even if only in his head—but what?
“You had to get him angry, though,” Kwan muttered, bumping shoulders with Dash. “You know that’s not the only way to make them glow.”
“Yeah, but it was the easiest to push him into,” Dash easily admitted.
And then, while Danny was still reeling, feeling like he’d missed at least seven steps in this conversation, Kwan stepped in closer and shot him a bright smile. “Thanks, Fenton. I feel a ton better.”
“Uh, yeah.” Danny blinked, watching the two of them wander off like nothing happened. “You’re welcome?”
“Man, what was all of that?” he muttered to himself, staring at the empty hallway for a moment before pushing himself away from the lockers. He desperately needed to talk to Sam and Tucker, see if they had any idea what all of that was about.
Somewhere, he kind of wished that Jazz was still in Amity. She would definitely know what the hell all of that was all about.
Seriously. Dash had just casually muttered the words ecto-contamination, and then suggested that it was common enough for there to be accepted variants of it.
How had Danny missed all of that?
!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-
“There’s Val,” Sam whispered, leaning in closer. Danny followed her gaze and, indeed, there was the girl they’d been looking for all morning.
Well, it figured that they wouldn’t manage to pin her down until lunch, but it was frustrating nonetheless. Sam and Tucker hadn’t known what the stuff with Dash and Kwan had been about, either, so they had decided to ask the only person they could reasonably ask: Valerie Gray.
But that, in turn, meant that they had to just sit on the knowledge until lunch.
At least she had picked a distant enough seat that they could talk in private. Small blessings.
“Let’s hope she actually knows what’s going on,” Tucker muttered, before nudging Danny forward. “You go first, dude.”
So quick to sacrifice him to the ghost huntress. Danny shook his head but walked over, slipping into the seat opposite of Valerie. “Hey, Val.”
“Danny,” she greeted him back, raising an eyebrow at Sam and Tucker, who sat down on either side of him. “Well, this feels like an interrogation all of a sudden.”
He shot Sam a meaningful glance, but she just grinned back, pushing herself to sit more squarely on the seat. Rude.
“Danny had a weird interaction with Dash and Kwan this morning,” Tucker started explaining, breaking the tension before it could really go anywhere. “We were hoping you could offer… I dunno, some clarification, since you know them better than we do.”
She snorted, leaning back slightly. “They’re Dash and Kwan. Every interaction with them is weird.”
“Well, yeah, but they were…” Danny paused, briefly hesitant to mention it—what would Valerie think of ghost-powered humans?—before powering through. “They were talking about ecto-contamination, and known variants of it.”
The look they got in response was flat. Flat, and clearly confused.
After a long and exceedingly awkward moment of silence, Valerie cleared her throat and asked, clearly hesitant, “None of you noticed?”
“Noticed what?” Tucker frowned, glancing between the three of them and Valerie.
“That pretty much everyone in Amity Park has ghost-like traits?” She raised a questioning eyebrow at them. “Everyone, but especially the kids here at Casper High, has ecto-contamination so bad that we’re all, well. Becoming a little ghost-like.” She paused, shook her head, then asked. “None of you seriously noticed?”
Danny drew back, considering his words, but before he could really think about it, Sam had already flapped a dismissive hand. “The three of us spend so much time in and around Fentonworks that we’re already contaminated to hell and back,” she dryly explained. “And honestly, Valerie, how much time do we really spend with anyone outside our direct circle?”
“Fair enough,” Valerie allowed with a shrug. “Right, so, it mostly seems to be caused by the Portal and the constant ghost attacks. I mean, obviously, right?”
“Right,” Danny agreed, ignoring the way his stomach was turning. He’d tried so hard to keep everyone safe, but had the presence of ghosts been endangering them all along? Had the spilled ectoplasm really affected people, and so badly too?
“Now, what we started noticing pretty early on is that people generally only display a single ghost power, once they become contaminated enough to actually have a discernible ghost power. Some people consider them distinct variants: people with invisibility, with intangibility, flight, etcetera.”
Sam and Tucker both hummed, thoughtfully. Valerie raised her other eyebrow at that, then shook her head and continued on.
“Generally people don’t get contaminated enough to display more than those basic powers, but exceptions exist, I guess. And your contamination is probably way worse than anyone else’s, except maybe actual ghost hunters like the Fentons.” She made a face. “And that’s assuming their jumpsuits don’t protect them, which I doubt.”
“I’m pretty sure they do,” Danny mumbled, trying to inconspicuously watch both of his best friends from the corner of his eyes. The more Valerie explained about the ecto-contamination that apparently haunted all of Amity Park, the more their expressions twisted into something they usually called “suddenly understanding weird shit that had been happening”.
It was, unfortunately, a somewhat common expression these days. What with ghosts becoming a common thing, and all that.
“I… Some of the plants in my greenhouse grow unusually well whenever I’m near. Some even seem to react to my presence…” Sam admitted, her voice quiet, uncharacteristically reluctant. After a moment of hesitation, she tacked on, “And sometimes, when I really really don’t want to deal with my parents, they just… overlook me, like I’m not there at all.”
Like she was invisible, they all heard, despite the fact that Sam didn’t say the words.
Seemingly encouraged by Sam’s admission, Tucker added on, “I rarely, if ever, charge my tech. Their batteries just don’t seem to empty as long as I have them on me. And sometimes when I’m digging into code, it feels like… like I can alter it directly, like I’m tapping into some inner world that doesn’t—shouldn’t—exist.” Just like Sam, Tucker also paused for a moment. “When I’m running from a ghost or whatever, sometimes I run into an alley that I know has a dead end and never hit the wall.”
Like he was just phasing through it, going intangible before he hit it.
Danny swallowed through the clog he suddenly found in his throat, watching Valerie turn a meaningful look to him. She wanted him to tell her about his— his ghost powers. But he couldn’t just pretend all of his powers came from the contamination of living at Fentonworks, could he?
And he definitely couldn’t pick certain powers as acceptable and others as not.
“I… I guess weird shit has happened to me too, yeah,” he finally admitted, cautiously, hoping she guessed the source of his reluctance wrong. “But I never really thought about it, to be honest. Anything I could blame the ecto-contamination for could just as easily be caused by actual ghosts.” And in a way it was, of course. Anything caused by his ecto-contamination was caused by an actual ghost: Phantom.
“But,” he tacked on, knowing Valerie wouldn’t just let that lie. She was far too stubborn not to investigate. “Dash and Kwan apparently saw me with glowing eyes?”
Valerie hummed, then nodded. “That makes sense, I guess. I know Kwan has the glowing eyes variant as well, so that would explain why they’ve been targeting you.”
“It’s been around that long?” Sam asked, leaning forward, clearly curious despite herself. “I figured it would’ve taken longer than that to show up.”
“Oh, no, that was long after I got kicked out of the group,” Valerie said dismissively. “But Kwan saw me with a ghost scanner one day, and he begged me to scan him. I guess he was seriously worried that he had been overshadowed, even if overshadowing doesn’t work like that.”
“I don’t think he got rid of that fear, to be honest.” Danny shrugged, uneasy. “At least, he seemed pretty cheered-up when I, uh, glowed my eyes at him and Dash.”
Tucker snorted, and Danny could see Sam crack a grin as well, probably at his word choice. Well, fuck them. What did you call it, if not “glowing your eyes at them”?
“Anyway, I can’t help but notice that we all told you, but you haven’t said a word about what you can do,” Sam prodded, nudging Valerie. “Come on, Val.”
“Yeah, that does seem a little unfair.” Tucker leaned forward as well, an expression of genuine curiosity on his face.
And, honestly? Danny kind of wanted to know as well. Her ghost hunting suit probably hadn’t protected her, and her new suit definitely didn’t. If anything, the Technus-made suit probably had just worsened it.
“I…” Valerie visibly hesitated, then gave in. “I can fly, a little. It’s not really all that great, but at least I won’t break anything if I ever fall out of a tree or something.”
She said it with a light tone, like it was just a casual joke. All Danny could think of, however, was all the times he’d seen Valerie fall off of her hoverboard, especially at the start.
He carefully does not wince.
“That’s pretty neat,” he forced himself to say instead. “Less lame than glowing eyes, at least.”
Valerie grinned back at him, but before she could say anything the bell rung.
“Guess we’d better head to class,” Sam said with a grunt, pushing herself off of the bench.
“Yeah.” Tucker got up as well, then nodded at Valerie. “Thanks for the explanation, Valerie.”
Danny followed suit, shooting her a smile. “Same. Thanks, Val.”
She had given him a lot to think about.
346 notes · View notes
parkersharthook · 3 years
Text
We’ve Only Just Begun
Peter Parker x reader
Warnings: bad words, crack fluff
2.5k+ words
Reference TikToks: kiss my best friend challenge & rich best friend check
series masterlist
~.~
“Peter I’m bored.”
“Hi bored, I’m Peter.” Peter looked to you with a small smirk
“I know, I did just address you. Also, never say that joke to me every again if you wanna keep dating.”
“ooh, harsh crowd.” Peter laughed.
“babyyyy I’m bored. It’s summer vacation, I should not be this bored.”
“y/n, you’re distracting my intern.” Your dad snipped quickly, elbows deep into some kind of machinery. You weren’t really sure what they were working, having gotten very uninterested once they started. “He’s helping me right now; do you want me to lose an arm?”
You rolled your eyes and spun around in the chair, “dad you always take him.”
“hey, you get him every day during the school year. Summer is my time.”
Peter looked between the father and daughter with a brow raised, “are you two seriously fighting over me right now?”
“well I wouldn’t have to fight over my boyfriend with my dad if Harley was here right now. That selfish idiot left and now you’re the only wonder boy to entertain my dad.”
Tony scoffed and held out his hand, wordlessly asking Peter for some tool. Peter handed it over immediately before turning his head back, “where did Harley go?”
“I don’t know, he just said he was leaving and walked out.”
“maybe he’s got a hot date.”
You huffed and slouched in the seat, narrowing your eyes at Peter. “makes one of us.”
Tony laughed and twisted slightly to give you a wink, “sorry honey but that was the deal. I let your boyfriend stay here if he helps me out.”
You rolled your eyes so hard Peter was concerned you’d see your brain, “oh puh-lease, you wanted Peter here just as much as I did. Either for Spidey stuff or normal nerd stuff, you’re just using this as an excuse.”
“fine but at least I’m not complaining about him sneaking into your room every night.” Peter sputtered, his face going instantly red and almost dropping whatever mechanic was in his hand.
“oh Mr. stark, i- we don’t- it’s not-“
“relax kid, if I was going to crucify you I’d have already done it.” Tony spun to face you, “now can you please go bother someone else. If you really want to spend time with Peter you’ll let us finish this.”
You huffed and left the lab as Peter blew you a quick kiss causing you flip him off jokingly. This is not what you wanted when you wished for your boyfriend to get along with your dad.
--
It had been a few hours and you were still bored. You had promptly gone to your room after leaving the lab and gone on tiktok, you’re absolute favorite way to waste time but now you were bored again. And you missed Peter, especially after a stupid trend kept popping up on your fyp of people kissing their “best friends” making you realize you weren’t kissing your very kissable boyfriend right now.
As if he could read your thoughts, Peter waltzed into your bedroom and immediately shucked his shirt off to wipe his face and hands.
“well hello to you too stud.” You said, biting your lip and very obviously ogling his toned body.
Peter laughed as he threw his oil stained shirt into the hamper and went to grab another from the dresser. You pouted, “why are you putting a new one on? You look fine without it.”
“because it’s the middle of the day and anyone could come looking for us and I am not about to be killed by any of the avengers because I’m corrupting their ‘little princess’”. Peter said as he put the new shirt on and flopped next to you, his chin now resting on his hand as he looked up at you.
“ugh they need to get over themselves and realize that we’re adults who’ve been dating for three years and basically already live together.”
Peter shrugged, his empty hand rubbing against your bare leg casually. “you’re always going to be the little girl they watched grow up.” He laughed at your pout and squeezed your thigh, “what have you been up to? Cured your boredom?”
“No.” you huffed, “just been scrolling on tiktok. Kinda want to start making them, could be fun.”
“what would you make?”
You shrugged, immediately struck with a great idea. “I don’t know whatever the trends on. I’m gonna put the tv on, don’t move.”
You shimmied out of bed, setting your phone up as discreetly as possible and turning on your tv. You started the video and moved back to the bed. You knew the trend was to kiss a best friend but you thought it would still be fun with Peter, plus you are best friends… you’re just also already dating. So not cheating, just a loophole.
Peter was still on his stomach, hand supporting his face, as he scrolled aimlessly through Instagram. And with you sitting against your headboard, it looked friendly enough. You waited for the right time before sliding down so you were laying next to him, practically under him. He looked up at you and smiled and for a second you were worried that he was gonna go ahead and kiss you but luckily he waited just long enough where you could initiate it in time with the song. You surged forward, hand immediately coming to weave into his curls to pull him closer.
Peter was obviously not expecting you to kiss him so aggressively so he fell slightly before catching himself on one arm that was now positioned next to your head, the other going to hold your hip. Now you really were under him.
You got lost in kissing him for a few moments when you realized the video was probably done and detached your lips. You giggled as Peter chased your lips, eyes still mostly closed. You slid out from beneath him and walked over to your phone.
“wha- where are you going?” Peter pouted, running his hands through his messy curls. You bit your thumb nail slightly as you rewatched the video, it was cute. “did you take a video of that?”
You nodded and showed him, watching a goofy smile stretch onto his face as he looked up at you, “so when you said you were gonna start filming TikToks you meant immediately.”
You shrugged and sat next to him, “no but the opportunity presented itself.”
You quickly captioned the video ‘sooo I kissed my bsf’ and tagged Peter’s account before posting it and throwing your phone to the side.
Peter kissed your bare shoulder, “is this gonna become a regular thing?”
You giggled and shrugged, “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Peter groaned, grabbing you around the middle and falling back onto the bed, pulling you down with him.
--
It was a few days later when you opened tiktok again, surprised to see your video had racked up 600 thousand likes and over 5 million views. You were surprised to see that it had gone semi-viral and yet no one recognized you. Not that you had your legal name in your username and you definitely weren’t as famous as your dad and family, but you weren’t hidden away either. Honestly though, this was kinda nice to just be another twenty-one year old on tiktok, posting stupid videos for fun.
You went to the comments immediately to see what people were saying and laughed at some of the funnier ones. You noticed that even MJ had commented.
Usera: aw so cute *blocked*
Userb: ms girl… he’s been waiting for this
Userc: no way best friends kiss like that
everythingbagel: “bsf” yeah fucking right y/n
⇲ begginstrips: hehe love you mj
You went back to your fyp and scrolled through a bit before you ran into stassie baby’s video of her showing off Kylie’s car collection with the audio saying, ‘rich best friend check’. You quickly sent the video to Peter, who was currently at lunch with Harry and Ned.
y/n: wanna do this when you get back?
Peter: lol sure seems funny
it was a few more hours before Peter got back to the compound, him easily finding you curled into the couch watching How To Train Your Dragons. You smiled as he dropped a kiss to your forehead, “this movie again?”
“it’s one of the best movies ever made,” you sassed back, “so yes, this movie again.”
He leaned down over the back of the couch smiling into your face before giving you another quick succession of kisses. “wanna film that tiktok?”
You checked the time before nodded, languidly stretching your body and standing up. “where should we start it?”
And that’s how Wanda found you and Peter at 3 am, videoing rando fancy stuff around the compound, you strutting and swaying your hips dramatically. Wanda followed Peter around, who was filming, laughing at your antics and giving you tips on what to include. The three of you got so loud, that Tony eventually woke up to investigate what the three of you were up to… as it was usually not great.
“are you sure we can film this? I don’t reveal any state secrets.” Peter whispered not so well.
“what state secrets are we revealing?” you whirled around to see your father, one brow raised and a hip cocked to the side.
“good entrance, very dramatic dad.” You said with a laugh, “and there aren’t any state secrets being revealed.”
“what are you filming?”
“A tiktok.”
Tony rolled his eyes, “I’m not even gonna pretend to know what that is. Anyways go to bed, you guys are being loud.”
“yeah, yeah. We’re just finishing up.” You watched your dad walked away before turning back to Peter and Wanda, “let’s go film in front of one of his suits.”
--
Peter had posted the photo to his account and captioned it: “@begginstrips is my sugar momma ;)” before promptly throwing his phone to the floor and passing out next to you in bed.
It was 10 in the morning – which was far too early as you and Peter had only fallen asleep at 4 am – when MJ started calling you and didn’t stop until you literally rolled out of bed onto the floor to pick up.
“what the fuck m? it is too fucking early.”
“you’re all over the news.”
You paled, “what?” Everything you ever did wrong very quickly flashed through your eyes, your mind scrambling to remember what was caught on camera.
“yeah your tiktok went viral. People are freaking out.” You sagged in relief.
“Jesus mj you can’t just say that shit for it to be tiktok.” A pause, “wait which tiktok?”
“the one Peter posted of his ‘rich best friend’ and you walking around the compound.”
You let out a quick laugh, “oh ok. That’s not that bad.”
“also can we talk about this whole best friend schtick you and Peter have going on tiktok? What the fuck?”
You chuckled slightly before crawling back into bed, your heart now beating at a normal pace. “the first one was just a trend so I lied to follow it and then it was just the sound. Also he is my best friend, he’s just also my boyfriend.”
MJ scoffed, “rude. I’m your best friend.”
“right, right. Sorry.” Peter grumbled slightly as he buried his head into your hip. You gently carded your fingers through his curls, “do you know why it’s all over the news?”
“apparently people didn’t know you existed? I don’t know, just thought that you might want a warning in case your dad got angry.”
“well I appreciate it, regardless of the fact that you basically gave me a heart attack and woke me up at butt fuck.”
“it’s 10 am, get over yourself and have a cup of coffee. Anyways, lunch tomorrow?”
You yawned, “sure sounds good. Wanna invite betty?”
“she’s still in Hawaii with her family, they’re coming back this weekend.”
“right, ok. Let me know what time you wanna go.”
“will do. Love you bitch.”
You smiled into the phone and yawned again, “love you bitch.” You hung up and tossed your phone to the floor, rubbing your eyes harshly.
Peter barely opened his eyes as he looked up at you, “what was that about?”
“apparently we’re famous.” You replied as you reached over his body to grab his phone.
Peter snuggled deeper into your body, wrapping his arms around your leg and laying his head in your lap. You rested against the headboard, one hand still playing with his curls and one now scrolling to Peter’s tiktok.
You blanched as you saw the video had gotten over 6 million likes and 45 million views overnight. And according to the comments, people were very confused.
User1: ummm is that the avengers compound or am I tripping?
User2: so we’re all just finding out tony stark has a child rn?
User3: mmmm something don’t add up here?
You sighed as turned the phone off, rubbing your eyes again. A headache was quickly setting in. You leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Peter’s cheek before slowly working your way out of his grasp.
He whined, “baby where are you going? It’s early.”
“I have to go talk to my dad about this but you keep sleeping babe.”
He rolled over to face you as you walked towards your closet. “are you sure? I can come with you.”
“no, it’s ok baby. I really don’t think it’ll be a big deal.”
--
It was slightly a bigger deal than you realized. Pepper was now talking you through ‘making sure SI had a good image on social media’ while your dad smirked in a corner.
Pepper stroked your arm, “this isn’t bad press or anything. You’ll just have to be careful going into the future. And you know that with being a Stark, you’re gonna have a lot of eyes on you and probably a lot of criticism.” She sighed, “we’ve done a good job shielding you from the press for this long but it might be a lot.”
You smiled at her softly. Pepper really had always been like a mom to you and now that her and your dad were officially married, it was even more true. “Yeah I know. I’m honestly not too worried.” You turned to your dad, “did you know people didn’t know I existed?”
Tony shrugged, “Doesn’t surprise me. I have almost every record of you sealed from the public for your safety and you never were one for the spotlight.” He walked over and dropped a kiss onto your forehead, “never show my suits on your clock app again.”
You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him, “for someone who owns a company based on new and cutting edge technology, you sure are out of touch.”
He gasped, a hand pressed to his heart. “how dare you, my own daughter.”
Pepper laughed softly, “she’s not wrong. Anyways, post whatever you want to your personal account. You’re an adult, so we trust you just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”
You kissed her cheek before standing and stretching out your back. “don’t worry, I already have a plan for my next video.”
“god help us.” Tony muttered.
188 notes · View notes
hypmic-writings · 3 years
Note
Hello there! I'm quite new to tumblr but I already love your blog! If requests are open, can you make a Sasara x Reader, where his s/o is an author that is famous for the comedic themes in their books? You choose whether you want it to be a scenario or headcanons. This is my very first time requesting something so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right... I hope you're having a good day!
━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━
Tumblr media
Pairing: Sasara Nurude x reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None
A/N: I decided to make this into headcanons because I thought it would be more fun to explore multiple ideas rather than just one scenario. I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted though! Thank you for the love and support. Enjoy~
⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙
when Sasara first met you at a book signing he was a little bit of a fanboy because you were a well known author and he was just starting to break out into the world of comedy
so when it was his turn to shake your hand and you excitedly told him that you knew about his comedy routine, he almost exploded of happiness right then and there
you signed your book for him and put your number in it, telling him to give you a call if he ever wanted to chat, and the rest was history
one of the things Sasara absolutely adores about you is your humor
whether it’s puns or slapstick or dark humor, Sasara admires the fact that you’re able to portray comedy so well in your writings
since making people smile and laugh is something that’s incredibly important to him, he admires the fact that you also strive to make people laugh as well
of course, he wants to know your reasonings behind getting into comedy and why you love writing as well
to him, writing is such a foreign medium, because verbal comedy comes naturally to him and he prefers to portray it when there’s a live audience
so he’s very much in awe when you explain your thought-process and the ideas that go into writing novels that involve comedy
one time he asked you to write a comedic poem because he wanted to try wrapping it into his hypnosis mic, but unfortunately it didn’t deal any damage
instead it only made the target break out into laughter
dates between the two of you often consist of snuggling up together on the couch and trying to see who can make the other laugh the hardest
usually this ends up in one of you having stomach cramps from laughing too hard and the other still laughing but desperately trying to help
I can also see the two of you having little coffee dates at cafes where you brainstorm new ideas and material both for your novels and his acts
sometimes you come up with something that you think is absolutely hilarious, but Sasara doesn’t really understand it (or vice versa)
and although he might say that his lines are funnier, it’s only because he’s teasing you - he’s always the first to support your comedic ideas
I firmly believe that Sasara is one of those people who thinks all forms of comedy are valid
so even though he’ll pretend to act like he’s the funniest and that nothing can beat his routines, he’s always way too excited to read your novels 
he definitely shows you off to everyone and takes pride that his s/o is such an accomplished person
100% the type to bring it up at every given opportunity until everyone groans and tells him to stop talking about you
you think it’s sweet though and secretly you brag about him to anyone who will listen as well, so you have no room to speak
whenever one of you has writer’s block, the other is always offering up back massages or brainstorming sessions
and if you ever feel inadequate or feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, Sasara is already by your side being your hype man
overall, the relationship is going to be so compatible and filled with so many laughs 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
82 notes · View notes
ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
Text
Why I (Want to) Love Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Salutations, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this! I’m an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. I also LOVE the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Whether as a kid, or an adult pretending to be a kid, this franchise is one that I’ll always revisit no matter how old I get. So when I heard that a new version of the series was coming out in 2018, titled as Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I was excited about it. Then I watched the series...and most of that excitement went down the sewer drain. 
Don’t get me wrong, there were some elements that seemed like there was some definite promise for a good series, but other aspects...I’ll have to explain. 
But keep in mind, I am going to be spoiling a lot about the series. So if you haven't watched it yet, I highly recommend you do so to form your own opinions. Because while it may not have grabbed me as much, that doesn’t mean the same can’t be said for you. With that out of the way, let's get started with--
WHAT I LIKE
The Animation: If anybody ever tells you that Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has awful animation, they are objectively wrong. Rise of the TMNT has some of the best, if not the best, animated fight scenes I've seen from any action series in recent memory. Probably because the show understands the number one rule of action animation: Good animation is a requirement. Not an exception.
For an action-oriented animated series, the audience needs to feel the impact whenever characters punch, block, or dodge in each fight. Yes, even dodge. Because if you can feel even the tiniest gust of wind that passes by a character's face after a punch, then you know the animators are doing something right. And trust me when I say that is present in the majority of most fights in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Are there moments when the movements are slow and rigid? Yes...during the dialogue and comedic scenes. Moments where good and quality animation isn't really all that necessary. You see this same technique in most modern anime: The animation is rigid and cheap for the dialogue-heavy scenes so the animators can give extra attention to the epic action set pieces. Not a single person complains about this happening in their favorite anime of the week. But when Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles does this, apparently it's a bad thing? Explain that logic to me!
The animation is phenomenal in this show. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise because those people are either blind or insanely stupid. Either works.
It’s Pretty Funny: And that's about it. It's nowhere near one of the funniest shows I have seen, and previous iterations of the franchise did a much better job at balancing humor and heart, but Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did a great job at getting a laugh out of me from time to time. It has a very random sense of humor that works well with its manic energy, similar to what Star vs. the Forces of Evil did early on in its first season. Even if one joke fails, about ten more take its place, most of them funnier than the others. There may be an occasional issue where a joke spoils a dramatic moment, but Rise of the TMNT is one of the few shows where that issue doesn't happen often. Besides, the series sets itself up as more of a comedy than other reboots and reiterations, so it wouldn't look good if it wasn't funny. Thankfully, it is, and in a way, the show is a success because of it.
It Tries to be Something New: This is what I respect most about the series. The downside about a reboot is that writers have to find a way to tell the same story but with adjustments that make it seem different. That's the same way Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles operates as a franchise. The original concepts of the stories and characters are always iconic, and I'll love them with my whole heart, but I will admit, there's a point where the same thing over and over again can be a little tiring. Then there's Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which makes changes where other shows would ask "why," this is the one that asks "why not?"
Why not change the personality and backstories of characters that still fit with the spirit of the original?
Why not change the genders, races, and possibly sexualities of these iconic characters?
Why not make something new?
Now, some have argued that the show is a little too new. Which I can kind of see the point of. After all, what's the point of changing characters and concepts so drastically when you could just make an original series? But even then, most of the changes are pretty clever, that I think it’s worth remembering for future iterations. Like making Casey Jones a female. Casey is a gender-neutral name, and I legitimately thought this series would do it for that reason alone. So I feel bad that the writers never got a chance to allow the series to reach its full potential with ideas like this due to Nickelodeon screwing them over (Seriously, never pitch a show to Nickelodeon. It rarely ever works out, and it's not worth the risk). I can see how these ideas could result in an incredible show that might cement the series as one of the best iterations of the franchise. But I can't base a story on potential. I can only judge what I see, and what I see are brilliant changes that impress me from time to time.
The Creators Are Still Fans: Despite making something completely different, you can tell that everyone working on this show loves TMNT as the rest of the fans do. There are dozens of references to previous versions littered throughout the series. Whether it's shoutouts to the 90s cartoon to bringing back voice actors from the last one, there are moments where the crew behind the series emphasizes how much they care about the franchise. There are also times when a reference has such a deep cut to it. For example, the series has the previous VA for Splinter to voice the current version of Shredder. I shouldn't have to explain how that is a brilliant idea, especially given Shredder's relationship with Karai...which I can't fully explain due to it spoiling TMNT (2012). This might be a whole new experience, but it is clear that history is not ignored when it comes to Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
The Cast is Colorful: It's not precisely a diversity win to have half the Turtles voiced by black VAs, but it is unquestionably some good sign of progress. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are...accurately what they are called. So they are not defined by the skin tone of the VAs themselves. So having half of them be voiced by people of color makes me hopeful that maybe future reboots would consider more colorful castings. Hell, maybe one day we'll have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot where all of them are POCs, to the point that we'll have an all-Asian casting for these timeless heroes (which makes way too much sense to me).
And it's not just the casting of the turtles that impresses me. Because the series making April O'neil black is an idea that I'm more than ok with. It's implied that she's black in the original comics by Keven Eastman and Peter Laird, so it works as another deep-cut reference that proves how big of fans the crew is. Plus, who cares? I mean, if we're still having issues of changing the race of a character who was originally white, all I can say is grow the hell up. You can complain if they don't grab you, but if the issue is because of one decision that shouldn't negatively affect anybody, I don't see the problem. Besides, at this point, a character being white is basically the base plate for someone in the future to change their race at another time.
Also, let’s give the people behind the casting a pat on the back for casting Asian VAs for characters who are, well, Asian. It’s the bare minimum of common courtesy and avoids the trouble of having white VAs do asian accents that have become quite culturally insensitive nowadays. So it’s a pretty cool decision if you ask me.
Diversity is never an issue, especially since representation always matters for people who demand to be heard. It's definitive proof that anybody can be anything, whether it's a hero in fiction or the voice of that hero behind the scenes. And you can't really do that when everyone is so white that it's blinding.
Donatello: This is the best character in the series. Not only because Donatello has the most consistent personality (more on that later), but also because I'm a sucker for the cynical super-geniuses. These types of characters always have a quick and dry wit that never fails to get a laugh out of me, and this version of Donatello became my favorite just for that factor alone. Most of the credit goes to Josh Brener, who does a phenomenal job at his performance and comedic delivery. As for the emotional bits, he's...fine, but the drama isn't the show's best strength anyway, so it doesn't matter as much. Because the fact that it's Donatello who earns the spot as best character in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is an impressive feat in itself that any criticism offered for him is moot in the process.
WHAT I DISLIKE
Leonardo: I'm willing to make half of this a personal issue because I have grown to despise Ben Schwarts in the last four years. No offense to the guy, I'm sure he's a really great person in real life...but he has done nothing but play the same character in FOURS YEARS! Whether he's Leonardo, Dewey Duck, Sonic the Hedgehog, or even M.O.D.O.K.'s son (yes, that's a thing), Ben Schwarts has practically played the exact same character each time. The highly energized, dimwitted, and egotistical character who slowly tries to learn to be a better person in the end. AND SOMETIMES, NOT EVEN THAT! I'm sick of it, as it always breaks the immersion of the series as all I hear is Ben Schwarts and not the character he's voicing. But it's not just the voice behind Leonardo that frustrates me. Because the thing is, I can see how this version of him can be incredible.
It doesn't take a genius to know that this version of Leonardo is meant to be more childlike and carefree so he can morph into the more mature leader we all know and respect him as. The issue is that the writers barely do anything with that idea. Sure some episodes make this Leonardo more like, well, Leonardo, but they're far and few between the ones where he's the same Ben Schwarts character that I've grown to hate. Even when he is at his most Leo-like, as seen in the episode "Man vs. Sewer," it's so drastically different from how he usually acts that it feels less like character development and more like inconsistency. It's a shame too because I really love this idea. With a little more polish, it could work out. As is, it's just a huge chunk of wasted potential.
Raph’s Too Good of a Leader: This is a similar issue to what I've mentioned about Leonardo. Because, again, I love this idea. Raphael, in multiple iterations, complained about how he should be the leader and just as frequently learns why the job rightly belongs to Leo instead. So starting with this role reversal should be a well-executed idea that gives Raph what he wants while eventually giving the fans what they want. And it would be if not for the fact that Raph seems to be too good at his job.
I get it. If Raphael was too incompetent, the turtles would have gotten nothing done, and it would get too tiring too quick as Leonardo constantly proves why he should lead and why Raph should follow. This actually happens from time to time, and it is already tiresom. The issue is that the intention was to make Leonardo the leader in the end. So why spend so much time showing how Raphael is capable at the job and barely any time showing why Leonardo is a better fit? There are even times when Raphael seems like he really is a better leader than Leo, which I feel as though it is contradictory to the point the writers are trying to get across. In the end, it's nothing more than another really great idea met with insanely poor execution.
Master Splinter (Early Season One): ...Did anybody like this version of Master Splinter in the first half of season one? Because this character was atrocious, especially compared to the previous Splinter from TMNT (2012). We went from what is easily the best interpretation of the character to what was, at the time, the worst. He was lazy, selfish, and emotionally distant with his sons to the point where he only acknowledges them by the color of their bandannas. I understand that the writers needed a more comedic version of the character due to leaning extra hard into comedy, but I don't think I laughed once with his antics in the first half of season one. Thankfully, he's been gifted with a softcore reboot during the second half and onward. This Splinter is awesome, serious, he works well as a straight man, and he has a backstory that's easy to follow while still being kind of heartbreaking. It's a tremendous improvement from what we've been given, but it still doesn't change how downright painful he initially was. I won't complain about the results, but I do have the right to complain about what we got beforehand.
Characters are Inconsistent: A common complaint you'll hear about Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is that the main characters are the same. That's not true because there are definite differences that separate each one apart from the other...the issue is that the writers are not consistent with those changes. I've touched upon it with Leo, but the truth is, everyone in the main cast suffers from inconsistency with their personalities. If Raph is supposed to be the meathead with a good heart, why are there times when he acts like the smart one who occasionally enjoys violence? If April is supposed to be as wild and carefree as the rest of the guys, why are there episodes where she seems to be the sane one? If Mikey is supposed to be kind yet somewhat stupid, why are there episodes where he's selfish and more intelligent than Leonardo? Even Donatello, who is the most consistent out of the whole cast, still suffers through moments when he isn't as clever and cynical as he usually is. These inconsistencies are annoying, and at times, it feels like their personalities are dependent on what the writers need for a joke or for the episode. Characters are the most essential aspect of any story for any medium. If audiences don't care about the characters, they'll find it hard to care about anything else. And how can we care about anyone if we're not one hundred percent sure what their personalities are in the first place?
The Pacing: I sort of expected this when it was announced that this reboot was swapping the franchise's usual half-hour runtime for a ten-minute one, but in all honesty, it isn't that bad. It is slightly fast at times, but that's just as quick to get used to. However, there is one strange phenomenon about this show that I can't let go of.
You see, this series somehow has worse pacing with extended episodes and specials than it does with its usual ten minutes. I don't know how this is possible either. Because despite having as much time as the writers want to establish each plot point, it still feels like they fly through them a little too fast than they regularly would. It makes no sense, but it's constant in every extended episode, especially the series finale (which, to be fair, is partially Nickelodeon's fault. AGAIN!). So keep that in mind when watching.
The Characters Are TOO Overpowered: It feels weird complaining about this. Because making the characters capable of doing anything and surviving much more leads to some of the most epic action sequences in animation history, not just the series or the TMNT franchise as a whole. Despite that, though, there is one crucial thing that is always missing from those fight scenes anyways: Tension.
To fully explain why tension is required in action, I'll have to use Samurai Jack as an example. You see, the titular character can, at times, be just as invincible as these versions of the Turtles and survive even worse. But regardless of him being victorious after nearly every episode, no matter how high the deck is stacked against him, there was always a sense that he fought hard, literally and figuratively, for those victories in the first place. Jack losing articles of clothing or getting cut up gives the illusion that he might not win in the end. He still does, and he always does, but showing the audience that he can and will get hurt makes seeing that victory feel earned. The only times the Turtles, April, or Splinter get hurt is either for comedic slapstick or because the story says so. This is why I consider Shredder destroying the lair is the best fight scene in the entire series. The second he starts destroying their weapons, it gives the tension required to believe maybe, just maybe, not everyone will make it out alive this time. Because if the characters aren't careful, they will face intense consequences as a result. Thus making an adrenaline-pounding moment in the process. Unfortunately, this is the one and only fight scene where that happens. Every action set piece is still epic, don't get me wrong. But there's a reason why writers make even Superman seem less invincible than typical in a fight.
Baron Draxum: THIS is the biggest issue that I have with the series.
As a villain, I didn't give a s**t about Baron Draxum. He was a dull antagonist with a generic evil plot, but other than that, he was perfectly serviceable for a series like this. Even getting a few chuckles now and again...but then the writers decided to make him REDEEMABLE!?
This guy?
Tumblr media
The maniac who wanted to commit genocide on human beings, all because of insufficient proof that they'll do it to his species first?
Didn't we already learn how that's awful reasoning after Steven Universe?
Actually, that's not fair...because Steven Universe has a better explanation behind wanting to redeem the Diamonds than Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles does about Baron Draxum! And I'm not kidding! For Steven Universe, the characters believe that it's better to end things peacefully than killing anyone, even if they're the worst criminals. It's a flawed mentality, sure, but it's one you can grasp and understand. What's the reason for redeeming Baron Draxum? It's because he's the reason why Splinter and the turtles are a family...F**k all the physical torture Splinter went through on top of the social ostracization he experienced because of it. No, no, it totally validates the decision to forgive and forget...Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE!
Who in the f**k honest to goodness thought that would be a good idea? I'm all for finding silver linings in a bad situation, but that is just flat-out lunacy! Because it's the equivalent of saying, "Yeah, this person was a complete a-hole, but they're still the a-hole that made you who you are today." But that is a very dangerous lesson to preach to kids. Because here's the--Hey *snaps fingers* Here's the thing: If a person treats you like garbage, you don't owe them anything for who you are. It's one thing if a person inspired you or cheered you on, but if someone basically ruined your life and physically harmed you and others, don't forgive them. They don't deserve it. ‘Cause f**k Baron Draxum. And whoever thought this was a good idea, you seriously need some help.
Man, is this how it feels to be Lily Orchard? IT SUCKS!
IN CONCLUSION
And that's what I think about Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 
It's a fantastic series! I just like everything except for the execution of ideas, most of the characters, and the overall pacing of it...that means it's not a good series, is it?
Yeah, it's a real shame that I don't like this. Because I want to. I really want to. The pieces are there, and I can see how this could be a great and memorable version of a series I loved since I was a tater-tot myself. But I don't. I'm sorry, but I just don't consider this to be an A+ series. It's a solid C, for sure, because it's mostly just style with very little substance. I still respect the amount of effort everyone put into this reboot, but for me, it just never had its chance to fully rise to the occasion.
8 notes · View notes
trashyswitch · 4 years
Text
Scaredy Tom = A Ticklish Tom
Virgil is in the spooky scary mood, and wants to successfully scare Thomas. As it turns out, there is a super effective and more playful way of scaring Thomas! So, Virgil uses that, and gets Patton involved.
This one is a bit of a mix of Tickletober Day 17 and day 20!
Day 17: Revenge
Day 20: Sneak Attack
Virgil silently chuckled to himself as he held his hands together like a plotting villain. He was coming up with a good spot to hide behind so he could successfully scare Thomas and get a reaction out of him. It’s been a good while since he could probably scare Thomas (or the others for that matter) and as much as he liked being loved, it’s been a while since he could give Thomas a proper scare. Since Halloween was quickly approaching, Virgil really wanted to get at least one successful scare in for this month.
Virgil decided to hide behind the couch with some quiet food and wait for Thomas to sit. Funnily enough, it didn’t take very long for Thomas to sit onto the couch and start reading something on his phone. So, being the man he was, Virgil slowly stood up from the back of the couch and stretched his arms out. Thomas didn’t even notice the shadow that was showing on his back and his phone screen. And by the time he DID notice something was off…
“BAH!” Virgil shouted, grabbing Thomas’s sides and shaking his hands a little.
Thomas shrieked! It worked! But he also...bursted out laughing?! And flopped to the side of the couch! “VIHIhihihirgihil!” Thomas reacted.
Despite the strange reaction, Virgil did it! He managed to scare Thomas! “YES!” Virgil shouted, jumping out of the space behind the couch. “I gotcha good! I gotcha REAL good!” Virgil declared, squeezing his sides again.
Thomas squeaked yet again and started giggling and flopping into Virgil’s grip. It was here that everything clicked. Virgil did scare him, but he also tickled him in the process! Virgil’s smile widened as he realized the tickling ENHANCED the jumpscare! Of course it did! Tickling kicks the Fight or Flight defenses into high gear!
So, Virgil kept it going! He squeezed his sides a few more times and made him kick his feet and wiggle just about everywhere! “aaAAAAH! WAHAHAHA! STAhahahap ihihit Vihihihirgil!” Thomas giggled and laughed, struggling to wiggle away from Virgil’s swift, narrow fingers.
“No way! If there’s one thing that’s not gonna change about me, it’s my love for jumpscaring you and the sides. But…” Virgil retreated his fingers for a few seconds and slowly floated his fingers just above his hips. “...I think I’ve found a new strategy for how exactly to jumpscare you.” Virgil added.
Virgil dug his fingers into Thomas’s hips and mixed between drilling and squeezing them. “nahAHAHAHAHAHA! IHIHI CAHAHAN TEHEHEHELL!” Thomas reacted.
“Perhaps I should use your biggest weakness against you?” Virgil suggested.
Thomas gasped and shot Virgil a warning look. “Don’t...don’t you even dare…” Thomas ordered. Virgil just sent Thomas a confident look right back, and stared at him. “PATTON! THOMAS IS IN THE MOOD FOR SOME TICKLES!” Virgil shouted towards the room.
It didn’t take long for a plotting tickle monster to come barrelling into the room. “Duty calls?” Patton asked.
Virgil smirked and pointed at Thomas.
Patton gasped and giggled evilly. “I’d love to! It’s been a LONG TIME since I properly tickled you, Thomas!” Patton told him eagerly.
Thomas let out a couple nervous giggles. “Uhuhuh...that’s not t-true. You-you tickled me yesterday, I believe.” Thomas attempted to correct him.
Patton started pretending like yesterday’s tickle fight DIDN’T happen. “What? I...I don’t believe I did! Are you lying?” Patton asked.
Hold up- Was...this Deceit?!
“Wait...Janus? Is that you?” Thomas asked.
Patton giggled in an evil, yet bubbly attitude. “Janus isn’t here. This is all pure, evil Patty! And THIS Padre is ready to hear some giggle-giggle-giggles from Tommy!” Patton teased, wiggling his fingers and sneaking up to Thomas quickly.
Thomas shook his head and started giggling helplessly as Patton sat on his waist and started looking for a ticklish spot to attack. Patton lifted an eyebrow at Thomas’s laughter. “I'm not even tickling you yet! It sounds like a mischievous ghost might have beaten me to it!” Patton reacted.
Thomas just laughed more, While Virgil held Thomas’s arms above his head. “Go for his hips! Go for his hips!” Virgil suggested.
“Oooh! Good idea!” the father reacted.
Patton quickly drilled his fingers right into Thomas’s hips and drew deep circles inside his hallows with his thumbs. “NNYYYAAAAAAAAA!” Thomas shouted!
“Nyah?! What do you mean ‘Nyah’?!” Virgil asked.
Thomas covered up his face and shook his head in embarrassment. “Nothihihihing.” Thomas whined.
Patton giggled and looked up at Virgil. “Don’t you mean ‘Nyah-thing!’?” Patton asked Thomas.
Virgil wheezed and bursted out laughing at Patton’s amazing pun! Thomas ended up falling into another laughing fit from the pun as well.
“Thahahat was gohohohood, nohot gonna lihie.” Thomas told Patton.
Patton gasped and went heart-eyed at the compliment. “Thank you!” Patton declared.
“Now: more tickles!” Virgil declared before blowing a raspberry near Thomas’s hip!
“BAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IHIHIHIhihi cahahahan’t! Tohohoho muhuhuch!” Thomas begged.
“Oh my god Thomas, that was only one raspberry! Imagine if I just-” Virgil blew yet ANOTHER raspberry on Thomas’s hip!
Thomas bucked and shook his head as he fell into loud cackles.
Virgil couldn’t help the laughter that left his mouth as well. “You sound like a cackling baby!” Virgil reacted.
Patton guffawed at that as well! “Oh yeah! He really does!” Patton reacted. Then, Patton decided to try drilling into both hips while blowing a raspberry on Thomas’s lower ribs:
Thomas threw his head back and WAILED like a baby! To top it all off, Thomas fell back into his baby-like cackles again! “NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IHIHIHIHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-NAHAHAHAHAHA!” Thomas howled hysterically! He couldn’t even pronounce words, let alone talk! His laughter was taking over every function he could use to communicate!
Everyone froze for a moment. Patton stopped tickling Thomas, and Virgil stared at Thomas in awe. After a few seconds, Virgil HOWLED with laughter and fell off the couch while Patton wheezed and flopped onto Thomas’s chest! “THAHAHAHAT WAHAHAHAIL!” Virgil shouted.
“IHIHI KNOHOW! YOHOU SOUNDED LIKE A GIHIHIHIHIRL!” Patton shouted.
“HOHOHOLY SHIHIHIHIT HE DID!” Virgil shouted at Thomas, rolling on the floor beside the couch in hysterics while tucked into the fetal position.
Patton lifted himself up as his laughter lessened a bit. “Guehehess I should never tickle too many spots at once.” Patton decided, winking as he took a mental note for himself.
Virgil was wheezing, cackling and kicking his legs like his life depended on it! “I CAN’T BREHEHEHEAHATHE!” Virgil screamed, turning onto his back and loudly laughing to the ceiling with his eyes shut.
When Patton stopped laughing, he decided it would be even funnier, if he repeated the action! So, he squeezed his hips and blew another raspberry on Thomas’s belly!
Thomas shrieked super loudly and snorted before falling into hysterical laughter! Not nearly as funny as the baby wail, but almost!
Virgil bursted out laughing yet again and clutched his stomach as he kicked his feet. Meanwhile Patton had fallen into hysterics and was rolling around on Thomas’s chest! You’d think this would be uncomfortable for Thomas...but surprisingly, it wasn’t!
And when Patton resumed drilling into his hips again, Thomas’s laughter went silent.
“Okay...Pat?” Virgil called.
“Mm hmm?” Pat replied.
“He needs a break.” Virgil told him.
“Oh...Hey Thomas, do you need a break?” Patton asked.
“YEHEHEHES!...PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” Thomas pleaded, despite how exhausted he was.
Patton quickly retreated his fingers and rubbed away the ghost tickles so Thomas could fully recover. Thomas was a sweaty, panting mess of giggles. He couldn’t stop giggling as he recovered, and he refused to talk as he panted and heavily breathed. He needed to be able to breath in order to talk, and Thomas was currently lacking the oxygen to breath.
“Yohou okahahay, Thomas?” Patton asked. Thomas let out some bubbly, high-pitched giggles in reply. Patton just giggled. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then!” Patton decided.
Virgil got himself up onto his feet...just to boop his nose. After only accomplishing that feat, Virgil gave up and flopped back onto the ground in exhaustion.
Thomas lifted an eyebrow and chuckled at him. He thinks he’s so tired...Try getting tickled nearly to tears.
Patton was laughing at Virgil’s exhaustion as well. “How is it that you’re tired as well? You weren’t even tickled!” Patton asked, not understanding such a thing.
Virgil rolled his eyes at his question and just laid there on his back. But Virgil wasn’t free for long before a tired, but revenge-hungry Thomas rolled himself off the couch and right beside Virgil.
“My turn!” Thomas declared as he tickled Virgil’s belly.
“eeeEEEEHEHEHEHE! HAHAhahahahaha! Tohohommyhyhyhy, nohohohohoho!” Virgil begged.
“What’s this? Did you expect to get away with scaring me and tickling me all in one go? Cause last time I checked, tickle fights are two-sided!” Thomas declared as he squished and jiggled Virgil's belly like jello.
Virgil squealed and giggled as he attempted to roll away. But Thomas stopped him with his hand, scooted Virgil’s back right into his chest, and resumed squeezing and skittering his fingers on his belly.
“NOHOHOhohoho! HahahahahAHAHAHA! WAHAHAIT- NOHOHO BEHEHELLYYYYYY!” Virgil protested and begged, kicking his feet and flailing his arms everywhere. On a few occasions, Thomas was almost clocked in the jaw, forehead, shoulder, even the eye!
“Holy crap! I’m gonna need to pin you down before you actually hit me!” Thomas reacted in surprise. Thomas scooted himself back a little to allow Virgil to lay on his back. Then Thomas sat on his waist, pinned one of his arms to the side and started skittering his fingers in the open armpit.
“GahaHAHAHAHA! EEEEHEHEHEHEEEE! LEHEHEHET GOOOOHOHOHO!” Virgil begged, reaching his arm over to try and wave Thomas’s fingers away. Thomas only pushed the flapping hand aside and continued to tickle his armpit. “AHAHAHAHAW, COHOHOME OHOHOHOHON! YOHOHOHOU SUHUHUHUCK!” Virgil yelled at him through his laughter.
“Oh? I suck, huh? Tell me Virgil: How exactly do I suck? I’m barely doing anything.” Thomas reminded him.
“YOHOHOU JUHUST DOHOHOHOHO!” Virgil shouted back at him.
It was at this moment Thomas decided that enough was enough. Thomas let go of Virgil’s arm, lifted up Virgil’s purple shirt and gazed his eyes upon Virgil’s little belly button. Virgil gasped from both the cold air against his belly, and in horror for the events that may unfold! Virgil knew immediately what he was going for, and was NOT gonna let him have it. So, Virgil covered up his belly button with his hands and arms. Everytime Virgil would cover up his belly button, Thomas would move the hands away and try to poke it. But Virgil was quick, and stubborn. One would begin to wonder if Virgil was against the navel idea. But Thomas knew just from the look he was giving him:
Virgil was being a little shit.
At one point, Virgil covered his navel with BOTH his hands! So, Thomas grabbed both wrists, lifted them up, and started lifting the shirt back up with his nose. Virgil’s eyes widened as nervous giggles overtook him. “Whahahahahat ahahare yohohou-
PPPHHFFTFTTT! Thomas blasted a raspberry right into his belly button!
“EEEEEEEEEK! HAHAHAHA- THOMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Virgil screamed with tiny tears of mirth welling up in his eyes.
Thomas immediately stopped from there, and let Virgil go so he could breath. Virgil continued to feel bits of tickles on his belly, which left him unbelievably giggly. Virgil curled into the fetal position as a defensive tactic and clutched his stomach as he somewhat squeezed all the leftover giggles out of his belly and lungs. His body was hot from the use of endurance, but was also still processing the feeling of the raspberry Thomas had blown onto him. It felt like his belly was still slightly vibrating from the raspberry, and he couldn’t stop laughing for the life of him.
Patton laid down on the other side of Thomas, and snuggled into him. “Come here you two!” Thomas said eagerly, wrapping his arms around both Patton and Virgil, and pulling them close to him. Virgil and Patton both giggled and laughed as they were pulled in, and enjoyed the love he was giving them. “I love you both.” Thomas told them.
Virgil looked at Thomas and Patton, and smiled genuinely. “I love you too.” Virgil said back, giving both the two of them a kiss on the cheek. Patton sent Virgil a toothy smile and fluffed his hair. Virgil felt proud of himself. Virgil was capable of seeing how much Patton and Thomas loved him, even if he didn’t deserve it.
But at the same time…it was nice to be shown that love once in a while. Thank goodness for pranks, right?!
44 notes · View notes
jinxthequeergirl · 4 years
Note
1-20 for Ash since he's your groovy boy.
I'M CRYING THE TERM "YOUR GROOVY BOY" MADE MY HEART MELT TO A PUDDLE (i've had a real shit day this is the only think keeping me sane) 
In other news i wasn't sure if you meant like 1 through 20 or like just 1 & 20 so i went with the first option just so i could talk about him more(1 through 19 cause two where pretty much the same) I also made sure to make sure this was as gender natural as possible so
Enjoy
Tumblr media
1: Cuddling
Ahakakab
Ok firstly Ash?
Biggest cuddlier ever
He just loves the close contact
Spoon wise
He is the big spoon cause he feels like even when sleeping hes protecting you
He also likes two other ways
A: His head on your chest with your arms around him
Because lets face it he also deserves to feel safe and protected
B: facing you with yout limbs in a tangle
Cause he likes to look at/ admire you
You look so peaceful its one of his favorite sights
2: kissing + Favorite kiss
Ash can be a pretty rough kisser
Almost kinda like a "we might die and or never see eachother again so this is my last chance to do this" type of kiss
Sometimes you have to remind him slow down and that everything is ok and as it should be
When he remembers that hes a very passionate kisser
Like he kisses you slowly but just rough enough to be perfection
She said sighing wistfully
They can also be really playful
He'll dip you while kissing you
But also he peppers kisses all over your face while tickling you
his favorite kisses are french and neck kisses
3: Injured
He likes to make jokes about it
To lighten the mood
Just cause seeing you worried about him breaks his heart
But also to make himself feel better and help to not worry bout it to much
He secretly likes getting injured
You're always so sweet and gentel with him
And you give him special treatments ( ;) ya know what i mean?)
He also pretends he doesn't like it when you kiss his injuries cause its "childish"
But he loves it
When you are injured however its a completely diffrent story
Hes not as calm and collected as you can be
Hes angry, worried and very guilty
You can tell he blames himself because he doesn't crack any jokes like usual and hes always very quiet while he's trying to patch you up
"Kiss me better?" You ask
That makes him smile and he kisses your injuries softly just like you would
You don't blame him and you tell him that much
4:First Date
Ashely J. Williams is not
A fancy man
classy
Or a rich man
He's not one for flashy/fancy dinner dates
Your first date was some sort of take out
In his trailer
You actually really enjoyed it
Only because he made it enjoyable
After dinner the two of you kinda just laied on the floor and talked
Which was weird for ash cause he was more of a
Take someone on a date and get down to bussnies type of guy
But he actually felt connected enough to just sit and chat
5: First kiss
It happens on the hood of the delta on your second date
You where sitting there star gazing
Just talking again and when you looked over you saw him staring at you
"What?"
"Nothing...it's just...your so amazing.."
You only laugh at him
Before suddenly you felt his lips on yours stopping you
That was one of the first and only times hes ever taken his time kissing you
It was one of those gentel kisses that you just melted into
He cupped your cheek with his hand and his other pulled you closer
It was one where when he pulled away you chased after it not wanting it to end
*cheifs kiss* twas perfection
6:Training
Ash really did his best to keep you out of that part of his life
He didn't want any one else he cared about dying on him because of it
He loved you to much
But it came to a point where he decided it was better to be safe then sorry
He taught you how to use the boom stick
And you quickly became pretty handy with it
That along with teaching yourself how to use a series of other tools
Like knifes and axes
He found it really attractive to watch you work like that
7: akward moment
The first really akward moment between you was probably the use of "i love you" too soon
To be fair though everyone thought they where about to die
So when ash blurted "I love you!"
And found that you where still intact
It was slightly uncomfortable in the room for everyone when you responded with
"You've never said that to me before."
And nothing else
Not that you didn't love him back
You where just unprepared for it to happen like that
After avoiding eachother him mainly trying to play it off as if he didn't say that
And acting as if Ash williams never told prople he loved them
Once you finally git fed up enough with it you had to basically yell it back to him
He was very relieved and happy to hear it
8: Fighting
Fights can go one of two ways usually
One being no one gets anywhere ever in the argument
Your both so stuborn
And ash being ash who hates to admit when he's wrong and never owns up to his own actions
Just makes you more angry
Making the argument get heated further
This type of fight usually ends in an angry make out session where your both apologizing like crazy
The other way is again ash being ash
But instead making you cry
This ends the argument pretty quickly because the only thing that can make him own up to any thing is you crying
You tend to use this strategy a lot in order to keep him quite
But sometimes it can really make you cry
He always apologizes right away and pulls you in for a tight hug where he kisses the top of your head
And wipes away your tears
You both actually hate fighting and hate that it ever (though rarely) gets to that point
9:crying
Like I've mentioned before
Ash cannot stand the sight of his baby in pain of any type
Crying is one of the worst things hes ever had to deal with in his life
And hes delt with a lot
His only goal in life is to make sure you are happy, healthy and safe
He's also kinda shit when it comes to dealing with emotions
He won't ask whats wrong right away
Just kinda stand there awkwardly attempting to make you laugh
When and if that doesn't work he'll finally sit down next to you and put a protective arm around you and ask whats wrong
If you don't wanna talk?
Thats ok hes there when you're ready to
Hes not leaving any time soon until your happy again
He'll hold you close to him
Pulling you into his lap to hold you properly
And just lets you cry
When you do tell him whats the matter
Bet your ass that its taken care of right away
Cause anything that makes his perfect partner cry? Dosen't even get the right to exsist anymore
10: sleeping
You better believe ash has nightmares
And feels bad for waking you because of them
But you're very well aware it can be hard for him to sleep
So you are more than happy to stay awake with him for as long as it takes
Even if that means until the sun rises
Or you fall asleep in his lap hes ok with that its the thought that counted
Nights like that are nights when he likes to cuddle you with his head on your chest
You'll kiss his head, smooth his hair
And even sometimes talk or hum to him to calm him down
That usually does the trick of getting him back to sleep for a little while
Sometimes he'll wake up gently and find you peacefully asleep beside him
And he'll kiss your cheek, cover you up and lay back down
Cause knowing your still safe is enough to help him sleep too!
11: bathing/ showering
I don't think ash would get or understand the want and need for a bath
But if you can convince him to take at least one with you
Boom
Thats all he'll ever wanna do
Man has never once in his life had time to sit and relax
But this is something else
To have you with him to
Either sitting across him
Or laying against him makes it Much more enjoyable
Baths are very rare very special occasion things though
Showering is a more often occurance and also a spontaneous thing
And its a plus cause its not Always a sex thing with him
It can be a nice and romantic thing as well
Especially on rough days when he wants to relax in the shower but also talk
Your there to keep him company
12: First time
Honestly the first time was well into your relationship with each other
And it happened in the Delta
It wasn't like rough, extremely passionate or even a serious matter
It was More fun and... vanilla with lots of laughter
It was sweet
The purest form of sex honestly is when you can laugh and or talk during it
And you two being the two people you are
Plus car sex being a horrible idea to begin with
Made it all the funnier but better
I don't think ash ever knew you could actually have like legitamie fun doing it
Just another thing you helped him realize
His heart like seriously skipped a beat hearing you laugh the way you had that night
Yet another reason he knew he loved you
13: soft spot/ weakness
Ash's soft spots include
Tummy
Hips
Neck
Jaw
And that lil spot behind the ear but just under it
Kiss him there and hes Tapped out
Ashes weaknesses are
His partner just in general
If you've been with him this long
He warships you
Definitely an ass/leg guy though
Wear something reveling enough tonshow case both ass and leg
K.o.
14:Pregnancy/ Birth
You wouldn't ever have to worry about ash not wanti g to be a dad or not
So you'd tell him almost right away
Ash is gonna get teary eyed
He'll make some jokes
But he will get watery eyes
And you know how happy new dads get when they find out they are gonna be a dad?
That whole "I'm gonna be a dad!? I'M GONNA BE A DAD!"
Yea 100% ash
Hes lifting you off the floor and spinning you around cheering
About how theres gonna be a lilttle Ash jr. Running around
Hes definitely the kinda guy who likes to talk to the mommy tummy all the time
Bump or not
Everything is suddenly about the baby
Hes always on the look out for baby things
Buys everything
Hes probably the dad who wants to mix the parents names together and name the baby that
Which is kinda gid awful and you tell him that
If its a girl you agree to name her Cheryl after his sister
Which lowkey makes him teary eyes again
You agree to let him pick the boy name though
He jokes about picking names like...idk hulk or something
But you picked a meaningful name he wants to do the same
You can trust him with that much
When the baby is born
He almost refuses to let it go
Hes got that new dad worry/ slash haze
"Where are they taking them?"
"Are they ok!?"
Loses his shit when the baby does grabby hands and holds his prosthetic finger
Hes so proud of his new kick ass family
15:Touching
When ash touches you its usually soft, slow and gentle
No matter what
That’s it
He lets his fingers gently run across your skin
Mainly because 👏he 👏worships👏you👏
And you deserve to be treated like the holy entity he sees you as
He hold your hand firmly though as not to lose you
16 : Undressing:
Its either slowly piece by piece
Taking his time to do so
Or extremely fast
17 what “turns them on” :
ash is horny by nature 
do anything around him when hes in the right mood easy enough 
but other than that ash likes being in control of situations 
makes him feel powerful 
so give that man even the slightest bit of power and hes ready 
he also finds it supper attractive when you are in charge and calling all the shots 
18 domestic life 
once everything with deadits is finally over and is at peace 
the first thing ash does is marry you 
then moves you to Jacksonville Florida likes hes always wanted 
then thats where you would have your baby 
the both of you get good jobs 
send your kid(s) to good schools 
all of yours childrens friends love being around ash and hearing him tell stories 
19 farewell/ how they say goodbye 
he always gives you a good solid kiss 
before softly telling you to have a good day and to not miss him to much 
hes always extra careful to throw in one last quick peck on the lips or cheek before you leave 
85 notes · View notes
Text
i wanna know what love is - 20
Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader
Warnings: teasing
A/N: enjoy xx 💕💕
Last Chapter // Next Chapter
Tumblr media
Y/N had slept on his shoulder for the whole plane journey and he didn’t dare move, he daren’t wake her up after waking her up this morning. Of course with that came the jokes from his bandmates and snarky remarks from Melody who’d get a snarky look from Mary in return. Luckily, he didn’t have to awake her up once the plane landed as the captain’s announcement did that for him and she was pissed. He couldn’t help it but find it rather cute how she would pout at not being allowed to sleep. 
They all went through security again, got their bags and all met up in a quiet zone of the airport to figure the best way to get into the bus without getting too much attention drawn to them, specially to Y/N who was new to all of this. Luckily, they weren’t and knew exactly how to go without being noticed, they just liked to brainstorm. Y/N knew they probably got a kick out of brainstorming ideas to be unseen. 
     - Y/N can go with one of the security guards to the back. - Michael pointed out but Y/N already knew what she was gonna do, and it wasn’t going to enter the bus again.
    - I think I’ll just get the taxi to the bay and then get a boat to St.Michaels. Gonna see my parents for a while, if that’s alright. 
    - Yeah, that’s alright, Y/N. We have around three days before the gig, so take your time. - Anthony replied, taking his eyes from his phone to look at her while he spoke and returning right back to it. He was probably speaking to his wife. 
    - Right, then I’ll see you guys in three days. - she kissed Sebastian goodbye and turned on her wheel to walk to the taxi area to see if she could hail one and get to her destination in one piece. Sebastian watched her go with a tinge of sadness, something that was greatly noticed by Mary. What could she say? She was a great emotional reader.
    - Do you wanna go with Y/N? - she questioned before they could all leave and go inside the bumpy, hard to sleep in bus until they reached Maryland, where they would once again sleep in the uncomfortable bus. Besides, if Melody was staying in, he was definitely gonna sleep in the coach. - Go on, just don’t sleep with her in her parents’ house. 
   - He’s not really gonna go to her ... - Melody started to complain but her complaint fell on def ears as he had already decided to start sprinting towards the taxi area, hoping she hadn’t caught one yet. Gladly, she had not caught a taxi yet and was seated on the sidewalk waiting for everyone to get one so she could try and hail a cab once again. How did she even survive in NY? Sebastian chuckled before walking over to her and sitting by her side.
   - Seb ... - she turned to see him, a look of worry in her face. - Are you alright? Please tell me you didn’t get kicked out of the band already.
   - Not yet, Mary just suggested I went with you to St.Michaels. 
   - Mary suggested? - she raised her eyebrows at him in pure disbelief. 
   - Yes, it’s a 30 minute journey from Washington to Maryland plus boat journey. You could get kidnapped, lost or worse drown at sea. - he added making her hold in a chuckle as she tried to look serious. - Unless you don’t want me to meet your folks. 
   - Can you hail a taxi? - she asked and he immediately got up on his feet, raising his arm up and as if by magic a taxi stopped. She sure needed to get famous as that was the only explanation as to why he could hail a taxi so easily.
The taxi drive was, to put in the least interesting. Small talk was not her strong suit, however it was Sebastian and he spent the whole half hour making the man question if he really knew him or if he was just going insane. She wanted to scold him for that, but she couldn’t deny it wasn’t funny. They got to the docks on time and she went over to the ticket place to get some passages while Sebastian stared at the boat. He hated boats. He never understood the fixation of famous people with boats, he personally hated them and he hated them even more once he had taken a half an hour journey only to get dumped at the beach along with Y/N in the middle of the most posh collection of beach houses. 
   - Your parents own a house here? - he questioned, following her as she walked through the sand to one of the white houses. - For someone who gets excited at the glitz and glamour, I don’t understand how you don’t get bored. You’re clearly rich. 
   - My family is rich, it’s their money not mine. - she replied. Y/N did indeed live comfortably until her teenage years where she decided to move to NY and from them on she went on surviving with her own money so she didn’t really have many memories from being surrounded with riches except for the holidays. In her mind, the money her parents had were theirs and she didn’t want anything to do with it. She was gonna make it without any monetary help from her family. They finally reached the porch of a big white house that looked straight out of a dream holiday magazine and Sebastian swore he still did not understand why she got interested by the riches of his lifestyle. She knocked on the door, and took to stand next to Sebastian. - Most of my family lives here.
   - Like a beehive? 
   - You could say so. - she chuckled but got interrupted by the door being opened. The woman in front of them had Y/N’s vibrant eyes and Sebastian guessed it was her mother. 
   - Y/N, what a lovely surprise. - Miss Wiley came to hug her daughter, her gaze still stuck on the man next to her. - I thought you were working.
   - I took a little vacation. - she smiled. - Mum, this is Sebastian Stan. The one who got me the tour article. 
   - Pleasure to meet you, I’m Elizabeth Wiley. - she extended her hand for Sebastian to shake which he did. - Please come inside.
Sebastian followed Y/N and her mother into the entrance. It was a very serene with white walls and light blue accents, something he’d expect to see coming into a beach house. It was mind-blowing to him how he could still hear the ocean waves as if he was on the beach. 
   - Who is it, Betty? - a man, probably in his mid 50′s dressed in a plad suit walked into the entrance. - Pumpkin, what are you doing here?
   - She came to give us a little visit. - her mother placed her arms on her shoulder. - Oh and this is Sebastian.
   - Are you her boyfriend? - he was quite blunt, something Sebastian should’ve been expecting from a political reporter but he was still taken aback. 
   - Dad. - Y/N scolded, a light warmth coming to her face.
   - It’s a fair question, pumpkin. 
   - Leave them alone, Harry. - her mother went to stay by his side. - Why don’t you two come into the living room? 
She took them onto the living room where an elderly man was sat down watching a movie Sebastian had briefly seen. His eyes immediately set on him and he felt a cold shudder run through his spine. He was speechless, not sure how to act. 
   - Look dad, Y/N came to visit us. - her mum told the man who got up to look at his granddaughter. - Oh and this is Sebastian, he’s the one who got Y/N the writing job. 
   - You look much more like your mother. - he commented, shaking her granddaughter’s hand which Sebastian found odd but didn’t dare comment considering he was still looking at him like he was the enemy.
   - Right, why don’t you go into the garden and call for your brother, we should be dinning in a bit. I’ll take your bags. - Elizabeth took their bags and disappeared into the hallway and Y/N pushed him through the house and into the back garden. He’d never been so happy to be far away from someone as he was right now. 
They reached the back garden which should really be called a back park in Sebastian’s opinion. He’d never seen a garden so big yet there he was and a bit further away was a man playing squash against a movable plastic wall. He turned his back to see what the rustling noise was and a smile plastered onto his face. He rushed through to the couple, completing ignoring Y/N and shaking Sebastian’s hand.
   - You sir, are a legend. - he said, shaking Sebastian’s hand thus becoming the 3rd man in the Wiley household that he did not know what to reply to. - I have most of your records.
   - Thank you. - was all he could say. 
   - Why, thank you Theseus for noticing me. - Y/N interjected, arms crossed and a playful look on her face. - Sebastian, this fanboy is my brother, Theseus. He often likes to pretend I don’t exist. 
   - Call me Theo. - he replied. Their parents were avid mythological readers so when their firstborn came along, they decided to name him after the mythical king and founder of Athens. He, however, immediately found a nickname to replace it, something Y/N never really decided to call him by. - So, what are you doing here? Sleeping with my sister or something?
   - No, I’d never do that. She’s a respectable woman and I wouldn’t dare ...
   - Chill. - he interrupted. - Save that for granddad. He’s the one who believes Y/N is innocent but I was there when she had a crush on Indiana Jones.
   - Why don’t we go freshen up. - she pushed Sebastian out of the garden before her brother could spill more secrets. She ignored the living room, having noticed how awkward the scene had been with her parents and grandparents. Y/N took the kitchen rout before climbing the stairs up to her bedroom.
Sebastian always had a thing to see other people’s childhood bedroom and Y/N’s was no different. She had a trophy stand which was no surprise for him, a few boyband posters along with some vintage movie posters. The thing he found funnier was the Phantom of the Opera mask hanging from the one of the windows.
  - 1st place at the Spelling Bee? - he lifted a bee shaped trophy from the stand chuckling at it. - Aw bunny, you’re a nerd.
  - Give me that. - she took it from him, placing it back on her shelf. She would be lying if she said she didn’t love her little trophy collection. - I’m really glad you came over.
  - Free time away from them with you ... - he placed his hands on her hand, moving her a bit closer to him. - Sounds like a real good plan for me.
  - Mh ... - she hummed, her hands on top of his. - I’m sorry about my grandpa. He’s a very ... old school man.
  - Elitist, you mean. 
  - He’s still my grandpa, Seb. Besides, I’m sure he’ll love you once he gets to know you.
  - Yes, because you obviously adored me when you first met me. 
  - Well, you did say that you loved when I talked dirty to you.
  - I’d still love if you talked dirty to me. - he placed his chin in the space between her shoulder and her neck, so close she could feel his breathing. Y/N once again got uncomfortable, pushing from him. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows, putting his fingers against his forehead. - What’s wrong?
  - Nothing’s wrong. - she took her jacket off, hanging it on the two hanger screwed to the door. 
  - No there’s definitely something wrong because whenever I used to make any sex involving jokes you’d normally roll my eyes at me, not act like that. Is everything alright? - he questioned sitting on her twin bed. - You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want you. I just don’t want to hurt you or make you upset.
 - You’re not making me upset. - she sat by his side, hands on top of her legs.
 - Did I do something that annoyed you? You can tell me.
 - Sebastian, I’m a virgin.
200 notes · View notes
buginateacup · 4 years
Text
@dalniente I’m making a new post for this
So based off our previous conversation I’m reposting this thing separately because I went for a walk and words started percolating and now I have three pages written already and there would be SO MUCH PINING. Because of course they cant be married they just need to get an annulment there’s no way this could ever, would ever work between them...right?
Original idea below based on the idea that Roxanne bills Megamind for destroyed shoes and clothing for the last seven years
Just Megamind looking over this list Roxanne’s presented him with and just going “Minion fetch the piggy bank!” and just smashing it open to hand her a diamond or something! And then being like, “Wait no that ones flawed you need something better...aha!” and hands her a better diamond on a ring instead (my brain escalates these things. Its what it does) and Roxanne just boggles and throws it back at him shouting “I wanted to get my shoes replaced not for you to ask me to marry you!”
“I wasn’t asking you to marry me!” Megamind did not think this through he’s panicking and Roxanne is looking furious and elsewhere in Metro Wayne Scott’s superhearing just heard the words “Marry me” and yes finally things are happening its about time.
“Well good!” Roxanne should not open her big mouth when she’s angry this is utterly humiliating why did she even mention marriage of course he wasn't proposing he doesn't even like her. This was the worst idea ever she just wanted to not have to worry about the blisters from breaking in another pair of shoes when she’d rather pay attention to the giant spiderbot or talk to him about how the brain-bots AI works.
“No. Not good! Not good at all!” You handed her a ring you mega-idiot what else would she think! This is nothing like the occasional hours weeks years of daydreams he’s absolutely never had ever in his life that she would say yes. That she would ever want to marry him. This is the worst this is the absolute worst “As if that’s the kind of ring I’d ever propose to you with!”
“EXACTL- wait what?” He’s thought about a ring? He’s thought about a ring specifically for her? That is not a normal thing. That is something people only consider when things get really serious. Why has he thought about a ring for her?
“What?” You just...keep making it worse for yourself don’t you Megamind. “Of course I wouldn’t propose to you with some possibly cursed ring! You deserve sapphires as blue as your eyes!”
“And you deserve emeralds to match yours!”  Oh my god Roxanne shut up shut up shut up, “ Why are you giving me a cursed ring!”
“Possibly! Possibly cursed!” Ahahahahaha help oh evil gods help, “Any ring I did propose to you with would be 100% not cursed! Emerald cut sapphire in a platinum band framed by baguette cut diamonds!”
“See now that sounds like a ring I would be happy to accept!” Stop talking Roxanne please, please try and get out of this with some shred of dignity left.
“Fantastic! I’ll make it for you tonight!” Oh no.
“Wonderful! I cant wait to wear it!” Oh fuck.
“Brilliant! Are we engaged now?” Of all the ways Megamind’s plans have backfired over the years he never imagined an outcome like this...
“Yes! I don’t know!...I guess? Sure! Fine!” Roxanne wonders if this is what it feels like when one of his plans goes awry...
And then we have two options, the first where the shouting continues...
“Thank the evil gods because I have been in love with you for years!” and Megamind storms towards Roxanne and pulls her into his arms
“Well good because I love you too!” and she wraps her arms around him and...
well...
turns out billing your supervillain for damages is a great idea after all.
And the Second which is much funnier...
They are not engaged. Definitely not. Today has just been a shared hallucination and they are going to go home and never speak of this again.
And this is about to get really funny or really terrible but they’ve finally stopped shouting at each other and they’re just looking at one another and Roxanne sort of sways and Megamind sort of sways and...
And Minion is suddenly there hugging them both and is just so ecstatic that neither of them have the heart to tell him that its all a big misunderstanding (is it?) and they’re not really engaged (are they?) but sure he can make Roxanne’s dress so they can get him out of the room for ten minutes while they actually work out how to tell him this was a mistake....
And then Metro Man flies in like “I’m so happy you two crazy kids finally worked this out!” And Megamind and Roxanne are both just...freaking and Wayne is going on and on about how much he wants to help plan the wedding and Roxanne says the first thing she can think of to not get roped into a Scott Family Event with a capital E and blurts out “We’re eloping!”
“We are? I mean yes! We are! Absolutely!“ Megamind agrees. They can get in the invisible car and just drive until they figure this out or until they run off a cliff whichever will be easier
(the cliff is currently winning)
“Oh great!” says the oblivious Wayne Scott who is just so, so happy for these two, “I’ll fly you down to Vegas right now!”
And he does. With Megamind and Roxanne in one arm and Minion in the other and Roxanne and Megamind have no way of communicating without the others catching on so they are just exchanging these panicked glances and then blushing because holy fuck why is this happening this was not the plan and before they know it they’re standing in front of an Elvis impersonator saying “I do” and Minion is throwing confetti shaped like brain-bots and Wayne is crying and Megamind and Roxanne managed to get a whole five minutes to themselves before the wedding to be like “Okay this is insane but we just get divorced later right? How hard can it be? We’re a damsel and super-villain no one will be surprised when it doesn't work out” (no matter how much they each privately might want it to).
That kiss though...that is really something.
They share a honeymoon suite with the works (courtesy of Wayne). Flowers, chocolate, champagne, his n hers bathrobes. It is extremely awkward. (except the bit I just wrote with body chocolate which, omg) There is only one bed and it is the size of a small continent and they still wind up accidentally tangled together the next morning.
But its fine. Its absolutely fine. There’s a divorce register in the hotel lobby exactly for these kind of situations. No one is even going to know.
Except Wayne flies back to Metro with Minion and they make a big delighted announcement so when Megamind and Roxanne do show back up (the Divorce register opens late on Sundays and they had to check out by ten. The universe really must have it in for them or something). The whole city knows.
And is actually pretty happy for them.
Apparently there had been a pool.
(Carlos, Roxanne’s doorman, won if you’re interested)
Okay fine, they can pretend for a while. Figure out some way for Megamind to go back to villainy and for Roxanne to go back to being kidnapped. This isn’t going to backfire at all.
Only Roxanne goes back to her apartment (alone) to have the panic attack she’s been pushing back for the last 36 hours, to find removalists on site and a representative from the city explaining seeing as she’s no longer the Metro City damsel she’s not entitled to remain in her lovely open living giant balcony apartment she’s been living in for the last seven years that the city has been subsidising her rent on.
Roxanne’s apartment is was very nice and extremely expensive. More than she can afford on her own. So she puts her stuff in storage, packs a bag and hunts down the Evil Lair. And she walks in like “Hi Husband. I live here now I guess.” (please don’t throw me out can I stay? Can I stay forever?)
And Megamind who has been contemplating cutting off his own finger rather than trying to remove the ring he’s still wearing, sees her walking in with a bag, still wearing that awful (possibly cursed) ring and just...
Right.
Okay then.
Hi wife, please stay and never leave but of course we cant be married what were we thinking and now we have to keep this a secret from Minion except we live with Minion and he’s going to be very concerned if you ask for a separate bedroom and I guess I’m a superhero now which means you’ll be getting kidnapped by other villains and that is NOT OKAY AT ALL and there will definitely be a “That’s my wife!” moment and no one understands why I look so absolutely gobsmacked when you kiss me on live tv after I rescue you and you tell me you love me but oh of course it was for the cameras it wasn't real
SO MUCH ANGST AND PINING
...
...
This is a problem they can solve...somehow
Except now they’re stuck married and living together and all of Megamind’s uncles are asking when he’s going to bring their new niece in law to visit. and there is so much PINING because they each think the other doesn't want to be married except they sorta want to and ugh...
---------------
Roxanne woke up in the middle of the bed, one leg twisted around someone else’s and the taste of chocolate still in her mouth.
This is not her bed.
Did she hook up with someone?
There is someone snuggled close behind her breathing softly. She can feel a lean chest bare against her back and is that a goatee pressed against her shoulder? 
Roxanne opened her eyes and looked down blearily. there was an arm around her waist, pulling her back against the body behind her. She has her fingers tangled in the other persons hand. There's something about the arm. She squinted in the early morning light.
Its blue
Oh
Well
That’s okay that’s just Megamind then. Roxanne closed her eyes and snuggled backwards a little. The arm around her waist tightened and the lips on her shoulder pressed a sleepy kiss against her skin.
...Wait
That's Megamind.
Roxanne's eyes shot open. She pulled her hand and the one she was holding up to the light. Definitely blue. Long fingers and square palms and definitely not human. 
And there are rings
There is one ceramic zirconium band in dark grey and a large (possibly cursed) diamond ring on the ring fingers of each of their hands.
Why is she in bed with Megamind and why are there rings and oh god she just remembered everything.
Very carefully she laid their joined hands back over her waist and hoped desperately that she can just fall asleep again and not deal with this.
She can feel the moment Megamind wakes up. A whole body shudder goes through him from his feel up to his head and he shakes into full alertness.
"Oh evil gods"
She felt him roll onto his back and press his hands over his face. But her hand is still tangled in his so he winds up pulling her on top of him instead.
And Roxanne panics and flails and rolls over as well until she is lying on top of
...her husband
He's her husband.
He's her husband and he's awake and she's awake and he's looking up at her with brilliant green eyes the colour of emeralds and she sees the recognition dawning and she wants to kiss him, wants to say "hi", wants to say "want to stay married?", wants to say "what if this wasn't a mistake?" but what comes out is "We should get divorced."
18 notes · View notes
kinetic-elaboration · 3 years
Text
December 29: The Wrath of Khan
Today’s movie watching was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
My overall impression versus TMP is that this is clearly a smoother and more consistently entertaining film. It has a definite story with very little filler, good pacing, a lot of great little dialogue and character moments, and a strong conflict at its center.
But its sci fi bona fides are much weaker. Like by a lot.
Mom and I are talking a bit about Genesis and the more we talk, the weaker it appears to me. First, it’s not really as believable, imo, as a lot of Star Trek. Maybe it’s because it’s not alien based, but I just have a harder time suspending disbelief to think this is possible. Second, it’s not clear why anyone thought this was a good idea. I mean, as McCoy immediately pointed out, it just seems so CLEARLY dangerous: an object meant to foster creation that could so easily be the worst weapon the universe has ever known--nothing could go awry there! Third, the reason for creating such a device isn’t obvious at all. Carol mentions the “growing population” and “food scarcity” but nothing we’ve ever seen of the Federation implies they’re running out of space. Or, frankly (Tarsus IV aside), food. And fourth, there really isn’t any point to Genesis in all its particulars in this film. Like, obviously, its actual purpose is a plot device to resurrect Spock. Within just this film, it doesn’t do anything. Khan wants it, for some reason I’ve already forgotten even though I just saw the film, and he gets it, but I didn’t even notice that happening, because it was so unimportant. His REAL mission is his single minded revenge fantasy on Kirk. Genesis is just a McGuffin/space filler/plot device for the next film.
And honestly that’s not such a big deal, except that when you compare it to TMP, ,and its central idea of a human made probe that gained so much knowledge, doing what we taught it to do, that it became sentient and then started searching for the meaning of life, and how this relates to the search for meaning experienced by the main alien lead, and how his search, in that film and throughout the series, is a mirror for humans and OUR need for purpose... well it just seems really weak. “We made this really dangerous and unrealistic thing for no reason whoops!”
Mom is now criticizing Kirk for being too slow on the uptake when he first encounters the Reliant, which is fair. That’s pretty OOC of him. The idea that he’s too old for space is both one that I must personally disregard, and one that the film would have you discard, since we’ve already heard from TWO characters, the people who know him best, that his best destiny is as a starship captain, and command is his proper role. And that he might be a little rusty is also not a great explanation imo, because the rust was supposed to have come off in TMP. So, plot hole probably.
We were trying to do some math--TMP is at least 2 years post 5YM and TWOK is at least 10 years post TMP, so at least 8 years post TMP. I can understand more rust growing but like... he was already an Admiral in TMP and the idea that he was out of practice with actual command was a big part of his arc there. So it doesn’t seem warranted to do that again.
Also, the way he was commanding poorly in TMP was very IC: he was pushing too hard, trying too much, caring too much about the mission and not enough about...the laws of physics. That’s very Kirk. Being slow on the uptake, caught with his britches down--that’s not Kirk. Plus, with no one to call him out on it, like Decker did in TMP, his poor command doesn’t seem like a big character obstacle to overcome but just like...sloppiness all around.
I thought Khan was over all... just not that interesting. I guess I’m just not into the obsession/revenge plot. Also...idk man he didn’t seem that super to me. He outsmarted Kirk, like, once, and Kirk outsmarted him like 4 times. He tortured some people--but regular humans can do that. He used those sandworm thingies, which is also something humans could do. Overall, he didn’t seem to have any particularly special skills. The only time he really seemed like a worthy adversary for Kirk was when Kirk wasn’t really being IC himself.
I’m also not into the fridging of his wife. Think how much cooler it would have been if she’d still been alive! The only non-super human in the bunch and she’s still there! Ex-Starfleet and bitter!
The K/S in this film is very soothing. Imo they are clearly together here, and the whole film is better if you assume they’re boyfriends and everyone knows. That Vulcan convo that Spock and Saavik have? Waaaaay funnier if you think she’s talking about his boyfriend (”not what I expected....very human” “Well no one’s perfect”). Every time they call each other ‘friend’ like ““friend”“? All the Looks? The birthday gift?
Also the “I have been and always shall be your [friend]” scene is a wedding I will not be taking criticism on this opinion. Could it have been written more like a vow? I think not. It’s not quite This Simple Feeling but it’s the best this film has in that regard.
I liked Saavik and I do think she’s one of the better later-movie additions (though I only like her, as far as I can remember, when played by Kirstie Alley). She didn’t necessarily strike me as super alien, though, at least not at first... But I appreciated how persistent she was about the stupid test, and her regulation quoting. I enjoyed her. I also liked how she was obviously Spock’s protege, which makes her Kirk’s step-protege, and they had just a little bit of that awkward dynamic going on. (”Did you change your hair?”)
The Bones and Kirk relationship was great in this film. You can really feel their friendship and their history with each other. Bones knows him so well and can be honest with him, just when Kirk needs it most.
I also love how Kirk has the SAME conversation with both Bones and Spock (re: being a captain again) but with Spock it’s sooooo much flirtier. In case you weren’t sure what the difference in these two relationships is.
Bonus: this bit of dialogue: Spock: “Be careful, Jim.” / Bones: “WE will.” Lol Spock people who aren’t your boyfriend do exist.
Obviously, I cried during THAT scene. Honestly AOS should have taken note about how to do emotional scenes like that: they come after the main action is over and the villain is defeated. Then they hit at the right time and to the right degree. Kirk just slumping down after Spock dies....like he’s boneless...like he doesn’t know what to do... I CANNOT.
I feel so bad for him that I’ll even forgive him that awful eulogy. Spock died for Genesis? Uh, no, he died for the Enterprise, and for YOU. Spock is the “most human”? You shut your whoreson mouth
I remember hating both Carol and David but I actually hated them less this time, Carol especially. My mom is being really harsh about her, though, which makes me feel less confident in my assessment. I mean first off, she’s the inventor of Genesis, which is a pretty big strike against her. Second...pretty lame to keep Kirk from David. Although I did some vague math and Kirk would only have been about 21, still in the Academy, when David was born, so you can see how that would work out. Also, she distinctly says “Were we together?” which means they were not--this was a fuck buddy arrangement for sure. More complicated. But it still feels weird to retcon that, like, he’s known THIS WHOLE TIME that he’s a dad and we’re only learning about it now, as an audience.
Anyway I’m getting off track. Carol. What to make of her? Is she unstable? Is she still mad at Kirk? My mom points out that she just decided on her own that David would want to join Starfleet if he knew Kirk was his father--whereas what seems to have happened instead is he didn’t just become a civilian scientist like his mom but became her specific protege--working on a project where everyone was probably handpicked by her? I would assume? Also..he hates Starfleet. Not to put everything on the mom, but how did that happen?
Also...going down the rabbit hole of this and feeling awkward about it... but David KNEW Kirk. As “that guy you hung around with.” That means Kirk was in his life for quite a while, long enough for him to have memories, and long enough for those memories to still be with him even into his 20s. But he was never allowed to know who Kirk was. That means Carol’s rule must have been “You can see your son but you can’t tell him who you are” which in some way seems meaner to me than just “please don’t contact us again.” If he was already on his way into space, that could even make sense--”I know you’re not going to be able to be a family with us, so let’s not pretend, let’s make a clean break now.” But that wasn’t what happened!
Anyway whatever not to be HAICG!Kirk about this or anything lol
David is mostly annoying because he’s so anti-Kirk lol. I found him least annoying when he came around to Kirk at the end. Another big strike against him: he wore his sweater tied over his shoulders in such a Preppy manner. I honestly don’t see what about him is supposed to be reminiscent of Kirk.
David/Saavik was definitely happening lol. I wish I could have heard that conversation. It sounds like she told him a lot!!! Not sure why she attached herself to this particular annoying human so fast but I guess she did.
....I think that might be all. The uniforms and general styling were much better than TMP (though less funny/entertaining), and it was certainly an enjoyable overall yarn. A lot to pick apart and critique but in a fun way. Will probably watch The Search for Spock soon.
4 notes · View notes
crawgluvr4 · 4 years
Text
(ao3)
it’s half one in the morning. gabriel stares intently at his work, even as the lines start to blur from exhaustion.
“c’mon, gabe,” jack whines, arms draped over gabriel’s shoulders. “you can do this tomorrow. there’s time before the party.”
gabriel sighs. “i’m nearly done.”
“you’ve been saying that for nearly two hours,” jack protests. he tightens his grip, and gabriel struggles to keep the fabric he’s sewing even. “bed time. please.”
“i can just… mist into bed, you know.” gabriel keeps a careful eye on the needle, nervous. “that’s something i can do now.”
“i don’t think sneaking into bed is the intended use of this,” and jack waves a hand, loosening his hold, “whatever it is. what if it wears off or something and you get stuck like that?”
gabriel’s nervousness spikes up. if it wears off.
“i mean i’d still love you even if you were a sentient cloud,” jack continues, oblivious. “but i think sex would be weird-”
“fuck off,” gabriel groans. he slaps at jack’s arms. “i’m not having this conversation. you’re weird and i hate you.”
“you loooove me,” jack sings, directly into his ear. 
“why is that even the first thing you think about! what the fuck. not ‘how do i keep my darling husband from blowing away in the wind’.” gabriel covers his face with his hands. “it’s ‘how will i fuck the cloud’.”
“it’s not like i went into the logistics of it!” jack is laughing against his back. “and it’s not like i wouldn’t- ugh, never mind. i’ll shut up about it if you come to bed already.”
“given your train of thought, that sounds like a proposition.” gabriel leans back, grinning. 
“i literally have to be up at seven tomorrow.”
“yeah, but i know how quick you can be.”
jack pulls gabriel’s beanie down over his eyes and leaves, grumbling. gabriel laughs so hard he ends up slumping off his chair onto the floor.
“it wasn’t even that funny!” jack insists as gabriel, eventually, comes into the bedroom, still holding his side. “you just have the sense of humour of a twelve year old.”
“you’re one to talk, cloud-fucker,” gabriel retorts, chucking his shirt at him. jack catches it and gives him a withering glare, undermined by how his lips tremble with trying not to smile.
gabriel finishes up his nightly routine and finally gets into bed. jack immediately curls up to him, wrapping his arms around gabriel’s shoulders and giving him a little kiss on his spine. gabriel can feel him smiling in the dark.
“if you cut the blood supply off to my arm,” gabriel says, “i won’t hesitate to push you off.”
“just cloud it or whatever,” jack mumbles into his neck, half asleep already.
“you’d like that, wouldn’t you.” 
jack just snorts. “love you.”
“love you too.”
--
he dreams of blowing away in the wind.
--
jack is gone when he wakes up, which is increasingly normal. life for them was never simple, but work had been a bigger burden over the past few months, and their time together was more and more centered around dinner and sleeping.
but it was nice, even then. just to relax and be human for a while, much as he could.
he ignores paperwork to finish the costumes; it takes another good hour and a half, and he begrudgingly admits to jack via text that he was right. jack texts back ‘always am ;)’ and gabriel makes a very irritated cheese sandwich.
he eventually drags himself over to the training range to go check on mccree. he had left him in charge of the recruits for the morning in order to finish sewing (and have a lie-in), and felt the urge to make sure he hadn’t burned the place down.
“howdy!” mccree greets him before the door even finishes opening, jogging on over with a have. the recruits all look nervously between him and gabriel, before mccree remembers himself. “uh, i mean, howdy… commander.”
gabriel looks at him tiredly. “report, mccree.”
one of the very new recruits looks like they’re about to pass out at their casual interaction. gabriel always loved pretending to be a serious hard-ass to new recruits at first, usually to test how they were with authority. it also made the parties blackwatch had a lot funnier for them.
“already had to send that palmer girl up to angie,” mccree sighs. “fightin’ over what target she gets to shoot at. real pain in the ass. rest of the kids here are doing fine, though.”
“some of these ‘kids’ have a decade on you, jesse.”
mccree coughs, adjusts his hat. “okay, okay, whatever. some of these respectable recruits,” and he puts on a very posh voice, “are doing absolutely wonderfully given the stressors of the situation.”
gabriel rolls his eyes. “right.” 
gabriel watches the recruits for a while as mccree goes into detail, occasionally inputting his own notes on his tablet to add to mccree’s report when it comes. assuming the cowboy hadn’t forgotten to write up the physical report, of course, but he planned to leave him to remember that on his own.
mccree shuffles closer after a while, leaning in. “did ya get the costumes finished?”
gabriel raises an eyebrow. “you think i’d be here if i hadn’t?”
“oh. right.” mccree pauses. “i just… had an idea. your mask has eye holes, right?”
“yeah.” gabriel lowers his tablet slightly. “i gotta see, jesse.”
“well i was thinkin’,” mccree gestures to him. “you can smoke up random bits of you, yeah?”
gabriel grimaces. “it’s supposed to be for combat only.”
“aw, like you haven’t used it for convenience. i know you! but that’s not the point.” mccree grins. “say you go in normally. everyone’s impressed by your craftsmanship, yeah, of course. but they’re used to it now. they all know you too well.”
gabriel frowns.
“i’m not bein’ insulting,” mccree adds hurriedly. “but it’s true.”
gabriel’s frown deepens.
“alright, alright! i’m just sayin’... the people there all know your weird cloud status.” gabriel pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to forget his conversation with jack the previous night. mccree doesn’t seem to notice. “and i think you could pass it off as clever effects if anythin’ got leaked. so just imagine bein’ dressed as sexy grim reaper-”
“it’s not sexy grim reaper, for fuck’s sake,” gabriel mumbles. “it’s tasteful and mature gothic halloween fashion.”
“the point IS if you start having smoke melt out your eyes-”
“wait, is it the boots? are heeled boots too much? christ, i’m not sure i can find flat boots in time-”
mccree elbows him. “the boots are fine, pops, i’m joking. now the smoke. think about it?”
gabriel stops thinking about how he’s going to obtain thigh high flat boots before the evening. “right. smoke. i dunno how long i can do that for, though.”
“you ain’t gotta do it for a long time,” mccree says, leaning back against the wall. “just occasionally when someone looks at you. and during the pictures.”
gabriel thinks about his dream. thinks about the deep-seated fear he’s had of himself since undergoing moira’s treatment and being able to dissolve. 
thinks about the potential look on jack’s face.
“you got a deal.” he flicks off mccree’s hat with a grin. “good idea, kid.”
--
the look on jack’s face - a mixture of fright and awe - is definitely worth it.
gabriel wins the informal costume contest, again, and donates half the winnings (a bottle of absurdly pink and sparkly gin) to mccree as thanks. reinhardt nearly passes out from fear. the rest of the party is simply good fun, and he feels a little more comfortable that the people around him don’t think him some kind of monster. outside of costume, anyway.
later, in bed, jack tipsily tells him he thinks smoky grim reaper in high heels is actually pretty hot. gabriel refuses to speak to him for a record two minutes, pillow over his face, while jack nearly cries laughing to himself.
“i’m not indulging your new cloud fetish,” gabriel says eventually, and jack wheezes into the quilt. “the rest of it i’d be happy to get to wear more often. they’ve been in my closet for years.”
“wait.” jack sits up. “in your closet? you didn’t just make that stuff?”
gabriel lifts the pillow off his face slightly. “nah, mccree asked me to make his and genji’s costumes. mine was just a well planned combination of clothes i actually own. i don’t wear ‘em much cause i don’t want the press to be weird about it.”
“oh my god,” jack groans, flopping back into the bed. “oh my god. you kept me up late like three days in a row making a ridiculous two-piece dragon cowboy costume for those two?”
“i take my work seriously, jack.”
“you skipped like four important meetings over the past month.” 
“saving the world is just a hobby,” gabriel grins. 
jack slaps the pillow back onto gabriel’s face. “you’re terrible. awful. evil. i hate you.”
“love you too, honey.”
13 notes · View notes