#the institute of history *i* studied at was far from this pretty

[nineyellowgirl]

Meadowville, Green Hills University, Institute of History / hallways and classrooms

[g0at0ad]

so what the hell is the protocol?

everyone in the tmagp fandom is rightfully going insane over the multitude of references to "the Protocol". given that this statement was given in 1685, it existed far before the magnus institute was ever a thing, so what gives? well here's all our information on it so far.

it was first mentioned in episode 4, "taking notes". alice. confronts sam on him looking it up. it's described as very super duper secretive, and sam could get in a lot of trouble if people found out he was looking into it. this bit is also a little strange, because alice (and seemingly ONLY alice) gets a security notification about sam looking it up. why alice? this could be another case of the computers having some sort of sentience. one od them wanted alice specifically to know what sam was up to.

in any case, the information we get about the protocol is that it involves a group called starkwall, who are apparently private military contractors. they involved in something called the "San Pedro Square Massacre", so despite how secretive they are, there is at least one event that is well known enough that sam knows about it.

starkwall doesn't get mentioned much, but (and this might be a reach) in episode 7 "give and take", a bunch of weird shit happened at hilltop centre. and i know we've all already lost our minds on the "hilltop" aspect of this, but what i'd like to point out is how the episode ends. the statement giver is saved by a bunch of seemingly military personnel, who proceed to go in guns blazing and burn the building down. the statement giver is then told they're not to talk to anyone about this group or what their identity is. sounds like starkwall to me.

and then we have this episode, where robert talks extensively about the protocol. he never explicitly says what the protocol is, but through context clues it's pretty easy to guess that it's some sort of procedure enacted to protect the world from supernatural events. in this case, isaac newton and his dog that is now a tree. robert hooke advocates for the destruction of isaac's lab and all his research.

some people have already pointed out that in real life, isaac newton did study alchemy, and most of his research on the subject was destroyed when his lab burned down. so if the tmagp universe has at least a similar history to ours (aside from all the supernatural stuff), then the protocol was enacted and they did end up destroying newton's lab.

but that's not the only use of the protocol mentioned in this episode. robert hooke also mentions the use of the protocol in london some years prior, seemingly to do with an "awful plague". again, this statement is given in 1685. in 1666 was the great fire of london.

so the protocol seems to explicitly have to do with solving supernatural problems by burning them down. we have the great fire of london, we have isaac newton's lab, and we have hilltop centre. we still don't know what exactly the san pedro square massacre was, but i'm willing to bet it ended with flames.

which brings me to the magnus institute. many notable things are different about it compared to the TMA world, the most notable being that it burned down in 1999. i'm also willing to bet that starkwall, or whatever they're employed by, was behind this. this show is called the magnus protocol after all.

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Other than leper king and his heirs which book would you recommend for research on Baldwin iv of Jerusalem?

All right then, buckle up for some nerdery! 😁

I will preface this by saying that I am not a total expert on Baldwin and haven't done a colossal amount of research specifically on him. I could chew your ear off prattling on about the general world of the crusader kingdoms, their politics, and about Raymond III of Tripoli and Sibylla of Jerusalem in particular, but Baldwin isn't my main interest here. Also, as far as I know, Hamilton's study is the only longer academic work centred solely around Baldwin. Hence, in order to learn more about your fav and the world he lived in, I'd recommend reading a little more broadly. Being a king, he is featured (at least in some capacity) in most publications that deal with the Latin kingdoms in the latter half of the 12th century.

That said, have a list:

Piers D. Mitchell: "Leprosy and the Case of King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem: Microbacterial Disease in the Crusader States of the 12th and 13th Centuries", International Journal of Leprosy, vol. 61, no. 2, 1993, pp. 283-91. Pretty self-explanatory. You can find this article on the internet; Mitchell also has a few other publications that deal with medicine in the crusader states, so you might find some additional Baldwin stuff there as well.

Elma Brenner: "Recent Perspectives on Leprosy in Medieval Western Europe", History Compass, vol. 8, no. 5, 2010, pp. 388-406. Has a little bit on Baldwin, might be useful if you want to find out more about how the disease was regarded by his contemporaries.

Helen J. Nicholson: Sybil, Queen of Jerusalem, 1186-1190. Routledge, 2022. This is a really good and really recent one that I was lucky enough to find in my uni library. Of course Sibylla-centred, but gives a good overview of the politics in Outremer and of course has passages about Baldwin in it. Also look into some of Nicholson's other publications if you're interested in the role of women in the context of crusading.

Kevin James Lewis: The Counts of Tripoli and Lebanon in the Twelfth Century: Sons of Saint Gilles. Routledge, 2017. Obviously mostly a Raymond-centric source, but it is also relatively recent and has a good chunk on Baldwin in the chapter where Lewis talks about Raymond's time as Baldwin's regent.

Joshua Prawer: Crusader Institutions. Oxford University Press, 1980. More politics to be found here, but very well put together. Prawer was an extremely prolific scholar where the history of the Latin East and the crusades was concerned, so - once again: if you're interested, look up his other works.

Jonathan Riley-Smith: The Oxford Illustrated History of the Crusades, Oxford University Press, 1997. Good overview that goes into detail about the mentality among crusaders and aspects of daily life. Again, Riley-Smith is one of the authorities in the field, so looking into his bibliography might be worth a shot.

If you're into military history, the works of Benjamin Z. Kedar, John France - or, if you want something more dated, R.C. Smail - might be of interest to you. They mostly cover general points of Frankish and Muslim warfare or the Battle of Hattin in particular (other than in Hamilton or in some of the primary sources from the crusader period, I've never come across an article on the Battle of Montgisard), but might be helpful if you want to get a feel for what life was like at the time.

Hans-Eberhard Mayer is also definitely worth a look as a scholar, even though his works are a bit older now. However, I'm not sure how much of his stuff you can find in translation - I've only read him in German.

For the physical setting of crusader-period Jerusalem and the material culture, I very heartily recommend two works written or edited by Adrian J. Boas: Jerusalem in the Time of the Crusades: Society, Landscape and Art in the Holy City under Frankish Rule (Routledge, 2001) and The Crusader World (Routledge, 2016). I consult both of these frequently for world-building in my fic writing.

If you want something on the general concept of the knight / chivalry, Maurice Keen's Chivalry (Yale University Press, 2005) might be a good start. For a detailed analysis of medieval courtly culture, I recommend Joachim Bumke's Courtly Culture: Literature and Society in the High Middle Ages (2000, English translation by Thomas Dunlap). That thing was invaluable when I was writing my BA thesis. And if you'd like to know more about the literary life of the crusaders, there is a recent publication called Literature of the Crusades (Cambridge University Press, 2019) edited by Simon Parsons and Linda M. Paterson that I also found rather good.

For fashion: The various Osprey Military History books are a good choice if you want visual representations of knightly dress. There's also a collection of essays called Encountering Medieval Textiles and Dress: Objects, Texts, Images (Palgrave Macmillan, 2002) edited by Désirée Koslin and Janet Snyder, which is one of the better ones I've found, as most books about medieval fashion focus mostly on later centuries. This one might be a bit hard to get through, though, if you don't have some kind of background knowledge about medieval texts or architecture.

If you want something less strictly academic and more in the vein of popular history, you might want to try James Reston's Warriors of God (2002) or the much more dated but rather fanboy-ish The Crusades: A History (also sometimes titled The Dream and The Tomb) by Robert Payne, which is very pro-Baldwin.

Other than that, I'll link you an older post about fictional depictions of Baldwin and other assorted good bois and girls from KoH. I hope this will scratch the Baldwin itch for you!

And: If anyone has more suggestions, of course do feel free to add them!

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

How bright is the universe’s glow? Study offers best measurement yet

Scientists have traveled to the edges of the solar system, virtually, at least, to capture the most accurate measurements to date of the faint glow that permeates the universe—a phenomenon known as the cosmic optical background. 

The new study, published Aug. 28 in The Astrophysical Journal, draws on observations from NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft, which whizzed past Pluto in 2015 and is now nearly 5.5 billion miles from Earth. The research seeks to answer a deceptively simple question, said co-author Michael Shull, an astrophysicist at the University of Colorado Boulder.

“Is the sky really dark?” said Shull, professor emeritus in the Department of Astrophysical and Planetary Sciences.

Space may look black to human eyes, but scientists believe that it’s not completely dark. Since the dawn of the cosmos, trillions of galaxies containing countless stars have formed and died, leaving behind an imperceptibly faint light. Think of it as the night light in space. 

Shull and the team, led by Marc Postman at the Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore, calculated just how bright that glow is. Their findings suggest that the cosmic optical background is roughly 100 billion times fainter than the sunlight that reaches Earth’s surface¬—far too faint for humans to see with the naked eye.

The results could help scientists shine a light on the history of the universe since the Big Bang.

“We’re kind of like cosmic accountants, adding up every source of light we can account for in the universe,” Shull said.

Into the dark

It’s a type of number crunching that has captured the imagination of scientists for nearly 50 years, he added.

Shull explained that, after decades of research, astrophysicists think they have a pretty good idea of how the cosmos evolved. The first galaxies formed during an epoch known as the Cosmic Dawn several hundred million years after the Big Bang. The starlight from galaxies in the distant universe reached its brightest point about 10 billion years ago and has been dimming ever since. 

Precise measurements of the cosmic optical background could help scientists confirm whether this picture of the cosmos makes sense—or if there are mysterious, as-of-yet-undiscovered objects casting light into space.

Taking those kinds of measurements, however, isn’t easy, especially not from Earth.

Earth’s neighborhood is teeming with tiny grains of dust and other debris. Sunlight glints off this mess, washing out any signals that might be coming from the cosmic optical background. 

“A metaphor I use is if you want to see the stars, you need to get out of Denver,” Shull said. “You have to go way out, right to the northeast corner of Colorado where all you have ahead of you are South Dakota and Nebraska.”

New Horizons has given scientists a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do something similar in space.

Cosmic accounting

The mission has uniquely Colorado origins. Alan Stern, who studied as a graduate student at CU Boulder under Shull and former Senior Research Associate Jack Brandt, leads the New Horizons mission. He’s currently based at the Southwest Research Institute in Boulder, Colorado. The spacecraft also carries the Student Dust Counter, an instrument designed and built by students at CU Boulder's Laboratory for Atmospheric and Space Physics (LASP).

Over the course of several weeks in summer 2023, the researchers pointed New Horizons’ Long Range Reconnaissance Imager (LORRI) at 25 patches of sky.

Even at the edge of the solar system, the team still had a lot of extra light to contend with. The Milky Way Galaxy, for example, sits within a halo that, like our solar system, gathers dust.

“You can’t get away from dust,” Shull said. “It’s everywhere.”

He and his colleagues estimated how much light that halo could generate, then subtracted it from what they were viewing with LORRI. After getting rid of additional sources of light, the team was left with the cosmic optical background.

In scientific terms, that background amounts to about 11 nanowatts per square meter per steradian. (A steradian is a patch of sky with a width about 130 times the diameter of the moon).

Shull said that this value lines up well with how many galaxies scientists believe should have formed since the Big Bang. Put differently, there don’t seem to be any strange objects, such as exotic kinds of particles, out there in space producing a lot of light. But the researchers can’t rule out such anomalies completely.

The team’s measurements are likely to be the best estimates of the universe’s glow for a long time. New Horizons is using its remaining fuel supplies to pursue other scientific priorities, and no other missions are currently heading toward those cold and dark corners of space. 

“If they put a camera on a future mission, and we all wait a couple of decades for it to get out there, we could see a more exact measurement,” Shull said.

[inkintheinternet]

Ai Philosophers Thinkers of the New World

By Arjuwan Lakkdawala

Ink in the Internet

After writing had been established in the world - its origin going back to Mesopotamia (ancient Iraq) closely followed by Ancient Egypt and China, the records show Greek philosophers with overwhelming efforts trying to articulate into words mysteries of the natural world, reason and logic, concepts of what makes a good life, and of course questions about ethics and existence. In my research I found 9 Greek philosophers, to mention a few of them Pythagoras (notoriously famous for the Pythagoras Theorem).

Side Note: "Although the theorem has long been associated with Greek mathematician-philosopher Pythagoras (c. 570–500/490 BCE), it is actually far older. Four Babylonian tablets from circa 1900–1600 BCE indicate some knowledge of the theorem, with a very accurate calculation of the square root of 2."

Protagoras, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. It is said that western thought is highly influenced by them. As history unfolded we know that many philosophers expressed their ideas, and presently we have an infinite maze of ideologies.

In a free world everyone believes what they want to believe, but if it is harmful to society, causes self harm, is illogical, then it should be illegal and wrong.

Up to now we were doing all the thinking, but presently there is an emerging new class of very different thinkers, and that is Artificial Intelligence, computer scientists are taking big data which is basically infinite and feeding it to Ai, and concepts from neuroscience is being used to develope more powerful computing like neuromorphic chips.

A study published in Neuron in 2022 explains "Bioneural Circuitry." In simple words, neurons use electricity to send signals so it is possible to merge them with electrical signals from artificial intelligence on electrodes. This could be similar to the technology used by Neuralink implants.

A very futuristic idea that occurred to me is what if a hypothetical Ai (Star-Sci) is used as a teacher from kindergarten to university graduation, with constant upgrade of information as the years go by. This teacher would teach and even give tests. An Ai model that teaches everything. Students would instead of naming universities or a string of teachers, be known only as pupils of a certain Ai. This is of course a very sci-fi idea, but in realistic terms as I see anarchy increasing in the world, and the cases of teachers behaving inappropriately with students, I think Ai teachers will be looked upon favourably pretty soon.

After thought: academics can contribute for free or paid to the Star-Sci life long teaching system. This could be a new style university, where students only interect with Ai, preventing any non-educational use of the institute or corruption from fellow students or teachers.

We in this current age are going through the greatest social experiment. That is the Internet which is a merging of human mind with artificial intelligence. It is changing the world in ways we cannot predict as this hasn't happened before. We have no previous case studies.

Ai is reportedly often used in writing essays, I personally use search engines for my research. I avoid using Ai to do any of my writing, I don't want my mind to rely on artificial intelligence, because I believe it will corrode my much superior human intelligence.

I think artificial intelligence is good to use in the management of big data, but not in any paper with concepts within the ability of human calculation and comprehension.

Scientists are trying to come up with a unified theory of consciousness. According to research and most human experiences we have an outer sense in which we comprehend empirical evidance and what we immediately experience, and then we have an inner consciousness in which we think, form memories and plan ahead. The outer world is not really complicated, it's the inner world - thoughts that can warp into unknown manesfeststions, some of these neurological paths can lead to genuise and others to insanity.

This unknown manesfestations of consciousness is exactly what defines the difference between human thinking and Ai programming. Artificial intelligence cannot have thoughts at all. It can only compute programmed instructions based on the data it has. But with big data this programming could in the near future start to resemble consciousness. As we do not and mentally cannot compute big data, so the output of Ai from big data could seem to us like independent thoughts.

It is crucial to understand this about Ai as technology integrates it further in our lives and we interact with it increasingly.

At the same time we must avoid using it where we can use our human intelligence. This is of prime importance if we are to preserve the excellence of our cognitive abilities.

Neuroscience studies reveal that neural networks that are not used get lost. We don't really need scientific experiments to confirm this, as we can immediately tell when our memory improves, or we get better at any intellectual skill, well known that it only happens with practice, therefore if we rely on Ai it will result gradually in mental decline.

As we think our brains form complex neural networks that improve our intelligence regarding a study or concept.

Thoughts are different than feelings, we have often heard that the brain is logical and sensible while the heart isn't. Studies have confirmed that the heart has a neural network known as the intrinsic cardiac nervous system (ICNS). While this does not say that it is why we have feelings that could contradict our intelligence, it is an interesting hypothetical concept to explain how feelings and logical thoughts can be in conflict with each other.

Being irrational and illogical or hateful, and having several other destructive traits, that cause self harm, or harm to society, is unfortunately observed more often these days.

Mental health is a very complicated and difficult terrain to traverse, we are nothing without our consciousness. Our whole quality of life depends on the level of our intelligence and the health of our minds - this is maintained and achieved by a good upbringing, secure environment, healthy diet, and a rounded education with physical exercise.

There are foods that improve the health of our brains, and foods that increase the risk of Alzheimer's disease and dementia and have other negatives effects. Google for articles about brain health foods.

(I have added notes to this articles in the comments section).

Arjuwan Lakkdawala is an author and independent science researcher.

X/Twitter/Instagram: Spellrainia

Email: arjuwan.writer@gmail.com

Copyright ©️ Arjuwan Lakkdawala 2024

Sources:

MBF Bioscience - Researchers map and explore the heart's "little brain"

Psychology Today - Neuroplasticity - reviewed by Psychology Today staff

Medium - Neuromorphic Computing

ABclonal Knowledge Base - Melding Neuroscience with Computer Technology  - Kin Leung

Pythagorean Theorem - written and fact checked by the editors of Britannica Encyclopedia

Singularity Hub - Scientists are Working Towards a Unified Theory of Consciousness  - Shelly Fan

The Collector - 9 Greek Philosophers who Shaped the World - Eddie Hodsdon, BA professional Writing, member Canterbury Archealogical Trust

[soap-lady]

A little spotlight on Tiffany

@idreamtofmanderleyagain @angelqueen13art @tenebrare

I figured it was time Tiffany got a little focus so...here you go?

Tiffany is in Heaven

Not literally, of course, and hopefully not for a long time. She was finally among her peers again and while she was still seeing a therapist once a week, she was happy. It also helped that she had discovered a trust fund her mother and father had set up for her when she was born, plus she might receive a settlement from the government over the Channard Institute fiasco. Now she didn’t have to worry about college or being too financially dependent on anyone.

Tiffany had also made a few friends. One of which was Mrs. Lopez’ son Antonio, a shy smart boy with a not too secret love for robots. He tried to flirt with Tiffany but was too awkward so they settled on being friends for now.

Another and rapidly becoming her best friend was an outgoing, athletic redhead named Callie Conolly. They had homeroom, math, and science together and hit it off over a mutual love of engineering and bad sci-fi movies from the Fifties. Their friendship was adorable.

Tiffany came home nearly every day with stories that usually began with “Well, Callie said,” and then launched into funny stories about “some trifling moron” and Callie’s response. The girl was rapidly becoming a Callie Database.

Callie didn’t like asparagus. Callie had been playing soccer and baseball since she was five. Callie’s parents were named Dan and Moira and were rather shy but raised their daughter to find her own path in life. They were both engineers. They belonged to a farming co-op and got fresh vegetables every week in exchange for a nominal fee and some light labor.

“So, when are you going to ask her out?” Kirsty asked over dinner one night.

Elliot raised a brow but Tiffany just rolled her eyes. “Sis, I’m pretty sure I just like guys. We’re only friends. Besides, Callie has a boyfriend. Josh.” She made a disgusted face when she said the name. “He’s sixteen and has a car. He's kind of a douche canoe but Callie seems to like him.”

“I think friendship is an excellent basis for a relationship,” Kirsty spoke up. “A good solid foundation, friends-to-lovers trope. I mean, Steve and I were friends all through high school and it definitely helped. But yeah, he was also a douche canoe. And weak.”

Elliot twitched at the mention of Kirsty’s ex-suitor. Boyfriend. He’d done nothing to protect Kirsty and had vanished when she needed him most. Not that she needed protecting; what she needed was a fellow knight to fight at her side and guard her back as she would guard him. He was glad the boy was gone but Kirsty deserved better.

They started discussing the possibility of Callie spending the night one weekend. Kirsty promised she’d think about it but first she wanted to talk to the other girl’s parents. “Feel them out,” was the way she put it.

Tiffany’s grades were excellent so far. A’s mostly but a B or two in the subjects she didn’t like as much. Like Music. Or History.

“Ugh. History is so boring!” She groaned, dramatic in the way only a teenager can be. “The book could cure insomnia and my teacher, Mr. Harris just drones on and on about important dates and battles and can even make things like a bunch of soldiers getting blown up as exciting as a doctor’s visit.”

“Oh?” Elliot’s attention perked up. “What exactly are you studying?”

Tiffany hesitated, then showed him her textbook. “World War I. We’re supposed to write a paper from a soldier’s perspective but include facts and dates as well.  I didn’t…”

“...want to bring up bad memories for me? That’s very thoughtful of you, Tiffany.” He smiled at his ward. “It’s all right. If my experiences help you with history class, I’m more than happy to share them with you.”

Kirsty was off running errands, meeting with lawyers and buying groceries so the two of them sat at the kitchen table and looked over Tiffany’s textbook.

Elliot shook his head in disgust. The editors had reduced the struggles of him, his officers, and his troops down to bland things like dates and locations.

For a moment he was there. He could smell the pungent sulfuric scent of gunpowder, hear the screams of dying men as they called for their mothers. His stomach churned with a strange mix of hunger and nausea and he didn’t hear Tiffany calling his name until she touched his hand.

She looked scared and worried. “Hey, we can stop. You don’t have to help me if this hurts you.”

Her concern touched him. It had been so long since someone genuinely cared if he was hurt or uncomfortable. It was an interesting novelty after decades of being a Cenobite. He was sure his Order cared about him and each other as much as they could but their ways of showing affection involved agony. 

He tried to remember that a simple touch didn’t have to lead to the carving of flesh or the skinning of limbs. His life no longer involved the sounds of screams or being summoned to harvest souls. He wasn’t the Hell Priest. He was Elliot Spencer. And he got to decide who and what he wanted to do with his life.

Elliot began to tell Tiffany about some of his experiences during the war. He carefully edited some of the details but she still gasped and held his hand in parts. Once he thought he’d given her enough information he decided to change the subject.

“So, how are things with you? Besides struggling with schoolwork I mean.” His words sounded stiff and forced, like his father had spoken to him when he was a boy. He was confident of his charm with grown women, but had no idea how to relate to a young girl.

He tried again. “Do you…like your school? Would you rather go to a school closer to home? How well do your teachers treat you? Shall I speak to them for you, or Kirsty could, if you’d rather.”

Kirsty knew this modern world and what was expected. Kirsty had been a teenaged girl and knew how they thought and what they felt. He was rapidly approaching middle age and had never gotten along with his younger sister. No doubt Marilla had married, had children, and was long gone by now.

Tiffany just smiled. “It’s hard for you, isn’t it? This whole,” she made a circle with her hand, “being alive again thing? Being part of a family?”

He felt ashamed. He was supposed to be the adult, the strong protector. He’d been a soldier, dammit, trained to kill. He’d flayed people alive and enjoyed it. Why was it difficult to articulate how he felt?

Elliot nodded. “Yes, I suppose you could say that.” He sighed and closed the book, turning towards his new “little sister”.

“I was never encouraged to show weakness or uncertainty, even as a child,” he ignored her sympathetic glance and went on. “I had family tradition to uphold, so I was turned over to a nanny and then a governess before finally being shipped off to boarding school.” She kept her hand on his and he felt comforted despite himself.

“Then I…well, drifted out of school and into the Army because it was expected that the second son of a very old military family would join. So I did.”

She nodded to show she was listening. “Did you like it?”

He laughed and shook his head. “No! I hated the Army and I wasn’t really good at it. The officers looked down on me because my family was Gentry and not Nobility and the common soldiers thought I was too posh and didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Tiffany let his hand go and frowned. “So, you didn’t have any friends at all?”

“In school? One or two. In the Army, once the Great War started and I was sent to the front, I had one. A name and a face came to mind, a person he hadn’t thought of in decades. Sergeant Jack Brown. Nice chap, big family. Told me after the war he’d have me ‘round for Christmas to meet his family.” He sighed. “Jack died during the third Battle for Flanders. Mortar fire. Quick, so that was a mercy.”

He didn’t want to remember the smile on Jack’s face the last time he saw him or remember the letter of thanks he’d received from Jack’s wife thanking him for informing her of her husband’s death. She’d been expecting again when Jack shipped out. He wondered what had happened to her.

Tiffany nudged his shoulder to knock him out of whatever dark thoughts had overtaken him. “Hey, wanna know a secret? Something I haven’t even told Callie or Kirsty yet.” She gave him a conspiratory wink then turned serious. “But don’t tell either of them. I wanna tell them when I’m ready.”

Elliot raised a hand. “You have my word.”

She leaned in a little closer and lowered her voice, even though they were the only ones there. “There’s a guy I like.”

He hid his hands in his lap and tried to look interested but still neutral. “Someone in your class? That Antonio lad?”

She giggled and dismissed the boy with a wave of her hand. “Again, like Callie, Tonio is just a friend. Probably the nicest guy I know, so if he asked me out I’d go out once but only on a friend date.”

He was feeling a bit confused by her terminology. “And…a boy you would…date…is in a different category?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely,” she nodded and explained. “You see…you can hang out with friends; go to the movies, eat pizza, talk about dreams or feelings  but there’s no romance involved, you know?” He nodded like he understood.

“But a guy…or girl…you wanna date? You wanna do all that stuff you might do with a friend but you also want to…be alone with them, hold hands, maybe do some kissing?”

He drew back and told her sternly. “Not on the first date, I hope.”

Tiffany rolled her eyes at his old-fashioned statement and he felt very old. When he was young, a kiss was a serious declaration of intent; and very private. His grandfather had once told him he could only kiss his grandmother once they were engaged. This new era with its public displays of affection was foreign to him. He couldn’t imagine kissing anyone in his Order, it would have been unprofessional.

She took pity on him and said, “Okay. Not on the first date. Just for you, Cousin Elliot.”

She stood up, gathered her school things and then leaned down to kiss him on the temple. “Thanks for all the help. Love you.”

“I love you too, Tiffany,” he replied and meant it. He listened to her go upstairs and began setting the table for supper. Kirsty would be home soon and then they’d prepare the meal and eat together.  It made him smile to think of the three of them sitting around the table, laughing and joking and sharing what they did that day with each other. 

He was fortunate to have their affection and care. He looked forward to Tiffany growing up, learning everything her current school could teach her and then going off to university and taking her rightful place in the world. He would miss her but he was certain she would come to visit and tell them all about the amazing things she’d seen and done. He looked forward to hearing about her adventures one day.

For now he would be here to support her in any way he could, even if it was only listening to her talk about young men she liked and giving advice; that, or keeping the bad sort away by terrifying them into staying away from Tiffany. Or perhaps he and Kirsty could take turns intimidating them.

*****

One week later Tiffany burst out of the car as soon as Kirsty put it in park and ran into the house. The embrace she gave Elliot was something between a hug and a flying tackle.

“Ooof!” was all he managed as he held onto the back of the couch to keep from hitting the floor.

The girl jumped up and down in her excitement. “I got an A! I got an A on the paper you helped me write!” She hugged him again and after a pause he hugged her back. 

Tiffany continued to talk to him about her day. “Mr. Harris said my paper was not only factual but he felt he was reading an actual soldier's account of living conditions in the trenches!”

“That might be because he was,” Kirsty walked in the house and closed the door behind her. After putting her car keys in a shell on a table near the entry she grinned at Elliot. “Honey, we’re home.”

“Welcome home, my dears,” he smiled at her and Tiffany.

“What’s for dinner?” Tiffany asked.

He thought about it. “Well, in honor of Tiffany’s academic achievement, why don’t we order takeaway?”

Tiffany’s hand shot in the air. “I call tacos!”

“Tacos!” Kirsty seconded and then started calling the local Mexican restaurant that had replaced her father’s favorite Chinese place.

Elliot sighed. He only managed to get his hand halfway up during these challenges. “I never get to pick the restaurant.”

“We are not having chicken vindaloo!”

[paullovescomics]

I don't remember when I first saw the youtube channel Esoterica, but it must have been more than a year ago. Regardless, it fascinated me from the beginning. As a lover of history, archaeology, literature, and weird stuff (go ahead and throw in religious studies with a far more complicated kind of interest), it's very much my kind of channel. When the host, Dr. Justin Sledge, shared the story of how he had an ugly run-in with Satanic Panic in the South, the sympathetic vibes quadrupled.

This video form a month ago is a good example of what I so like about it. It's about incantation bowls, which seem to have been quite common, and used by different groups of people over a long period, but aren't very well studied, mix and match religious ideas in ways that break the rules but make sense, and show us earlier versions of spiritual characters who would later become infamous in altered versions (talking about Lilith). That these might have been made by women practicing magic outside the official religious institutions makes them even more intriguing.

The topics are pretty broad: lots of videos about medieval occultism, as well as ancient, and from various faiths.

[just-in-case-iloveyou]

get to know me tag 🌻

@sugarcoated-lame my darling🧡 thank you so much for the tag 🥰

1. were you named after anyone?

i'm pretty sure y'all can guess my real name, but yeah, i was. my name means "she who will rise again," which was neat, because my parents read about an American Indian woman who worked closely with an ethnologist to record hundreds of hours tapes cataloging her tribe's language. a language that no one spoke, until a cardboard box containing those tapes was found in the Smithsonian Institution the year before i was born. my parents loved the name and were blown away by the story.

2. when was the last time you cried?

two days ago, it's been a rough month

3. do you have kids?

no kids, but i do have a fur baby 🥹 ditto, Kricket

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i did dance and gymnastics a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. 🩰 after that, i played basketball and softball in middle school, and volleyball from middle to high school. 🏀🥎🏐

5. do you use sarcasm?

at this point, i'm pretty sure it's a coping mechanism for me.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

smile first, then eyes (mostly because i'm nearsighted, so eyes are a little harder)

7. what’s your eye color?

hazel, i guess. they're green on the outside and brown on the inside.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings, for sure. i'm too chicken for scary movies 🐔 and i like to feel happy 💖

9. any talents?

Kicket, babe, i feel like we're kind of the same person.

i can sing, and if i'm comfortable enough with you, i'll sing along to things in your presence. i used to take voice lessons and do musical theater, but since my anxiety developed later, that's a big no-go nowadays. i'm also a solid advice-giver (but i can't take my own), and i used to stress-bake a TON in university. i suppose i'm pretty good at random trivia! and i'm okay at painting, but i only really do it at those paint and sip places lol.

10. where were you born?

Orange County, California 🍊

11. what are your hobbies?

again, same person, different font

PUZZLES!!! reading, watching movies, singing, baking, thrifting, playing video games (i'm a sucker for the Nancy Drew mystery games). i'm trying to get better at cooking. i used to do creative writing and write poems, but i haven't in a very long time. i feel like i should try to get back into that. and like i said, paint and sip is also fun lol

12. do you have any pets?

at the moment, my sister has a pittie mix named Moose, we've got a lovebird named Peach, and a tortoise (African desert maybe?) named Shelley (we didn't name him). we lost my sweet girl Bell and my baby boy Percy not too long ago 💔💔

13. how tall are you?

5'2" i'm almost pocket-sized!

14. favorite subject in school?

English and Social Studies (history, geography, psych, etc.)

15. dream job?

this is gonna sound insane, but ever since i was 11, i've always wanted to work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS). it sounds squirrely, but long story short, i started watching NCIS and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation around that age, and i just got SO interested in criminology and forensics.

no pressure tags: @lewmagoo @laracrofted @seresinhangmanjake @withahappyrefrain @roosterforme @ohtobeleah @mamachasesmayhem @bobgasm @bobfloydsbabe @attaboylew @attapullman @mjskeletons661 @lostinthefandoms11 @pinkdaisies1106 @mandylove1000 I’m a little late to this so sorry if you’ve already done it 🧡

[starlite-writes]

can you tell us more about dr silk and dr tussah?

Sure! Putting it under the cut since it got a little long.

Dr Adaliah Silk (formerly Elysia Soros) is the head of the Aether Research Institute and the public face of IGORA as a whole, as I've said before. She has two doctorate degrees (astrophysics and computer science) and a master's in aerospace engineering! All in all, she's a very pragmatic and intelligent woman who is often seen as friendly and helpful despite actually being the epitome of corporate coldness. She's also quite curious about the possibility of alternate realities!

She has a couple of AIs she's programmed for various reasons! Their names are Azalea (her admin), Tocelyn (her personal assistant/pet fox), Maximilian (speech/language pathologist). She also has Del (space exploration), Tey (repair), and Sar (repair), who all belong to @packedlunchmeat!

All of her children hate her, with the exception of Azalea and Tocelyn. She's a bad mother (not a maternal bone in her body). Most of her kids have been kidnapped at least once.

Silk is one of those people who really likes to bully the people under her but in the way of like. she pretends she's just playing or it's an inside joke. For example, on April Fool's Day, she pays her interns in Monopoly money. Objectively not funny to the person missing out on a day's worth of pay, but hilarious to her.

Silk has three siblings! They're named Lysander (who works as IGORA's lawyer), Valeria (a history teacher), and, of course, Dr Tussah.

And Dr Caspian Tussah (formerly Aurelius Soros) is the head of the Nautilus Research Institute! He's more seen than heard, because he's not as good at the whole. politics thing. He's really just here to study fish! He has two doctorates (marine biogeochemistry and computer science) and a master's in oceanography.

Tussah is typically thought of as the hardass out of the two, but he's actually not. He's not soft, but he's definitely nicer (potentially attributed to his better work-life balance lol). The bar was on the floor, though. He has a pretty decent relationship with most of his employees but he's also prone to outbursts of violence (namely hitting people across the shins with his cane).

He's got a few AIs of his own! They are August and Tenebris, and they're both medical AIs. August is the sole surviving AI from the Coelacanth disaster (and that's a whole story on its own, honestly). He probably has more by this point but I can't remember them right now 😭

Tussah also did the physical designs for all of Silk's programs! He's an artist. Silk doesn't care about aesthetics but her brother very much does. If not for Tussah, all of Silk's AIs would be just. blobs or stick figures. The only one she designed was Tocelyn, by way of origami.

Silk's birthday is May 30th, and she's 38 years old! Tussah's is July 3rd and he's 36! They don't tell people they're siblings and keep it a secret, so there are a lot of bets around the office about if they're siblings, lovers, or old friends.

If you've made it this far, thanks! You might be interested to know that they both have... complicated relationships with two Very Notorious red and blue coded viruses. :)

If you think you know who they are... you're probably right!

[princkleeatscookies]

personal cookie run headcanons!! :0

My drawing tablet's arriving soon so I guess I'll have to share some of my personal headcanons in cookie run as promised (most of them are clotted cream cookie's,,,, ehehe-)

admittedly, it's a pretty "short" list but I will update this once I thought up with new ones :>c without further ado, let's start those headcanons~! ٩(⊙‿⊙)۶

┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐ ➽─────────❥

- Clotted Cream Cookie owns a stuffed teddy bear/jelly bear as a gift from his mom from childhood / v \ He still holds onto it to this day and doesn't want to admit that he still owns that due to embarrassment ahaha.. He hides it in his room (specifically under one of the pillows in his bed) and pulls it out whenever he was having such a hard time

- Clotted Cream Cookie doesn't know modern slang or anything that Cookies around his age do for fun in the casual. He was raised in a much higher-class so he was only taught proper manners and eloquence. If he was exposed to such stuff, he'll be extremely confused or fascinated and wanted to mimic it himself (basically he's a young boomer lmao, but he is learning~!)

- Clotted Cream Cookie is a bit of a book nerd, as he always reads books (ranging from fantasy books to history books) during his leisure time. He also has his own reading area in his room!

- He never shows it to anyone, but Clotted Cream Cookie is surprisingly vocally talented (in other words, HE CAN SING-). Though he never does sing in front of anyone because he's self-conscious ahaha. He usually sings alone whenever he's in his room or during work aaa,, though Financier Cookie did hear a little bit of it (although it was very faint and didn't believe it was Clotted Cream Cookie at first) (uhuhuhu this is just me inserting the "secretly vocally talented but is too afraid to show it in front of anyone" hc ;v;)

- I'd imagine Clotted Cream Cookie to be around in either in his early 20s or just about to turn 20 (19 years old)

- Clotted Cream Cookie does have a biological father... but let's just say he isn't in the picture anymore, although Clotted Cream Cookie is very much traumatized. not gonna elaborate on that due to how dark it is. (well not yet at least)

ok that's enough Clotted Cream Cookie headcanons for this post HHSDSJDFDK let's continue~!

- Espresso Cookie and Affogato Cookie are related as brothers, but they have long been since separated each other. They don't even know if they know of each other's existence as brothers, but Affogato Cookie does recognizes Espresso Cookie a bit and has a soft spot for him, just a little bit. (I'd like to imagine that only some of the coffee cookies are indeed related to each other. not all but some.)

- Financier Cookie being a big sis to, not just the orphan cookies, but to other cookies as well ehehe (Kouign-Amann Cookie and, to a lesser extent, my cookie run oc for example)

- There were a lot of times where Licorice Cookie kinda regrets being in the Cookies of Darkness All he ever wanted is some sort of validation.. He had no other option after all. He wanted to turn to the good side but Licorice Cookie just believes there's no way for him to be good. I mean, Licorice Cookie isn't all that evil- He's just now trapped on his own decision.

- Cream Puff Cookie sometimes visits the shore to play with Peppermint Cookie during her days in the Parfaedia Institute. Though ever since she became an alumna and busied herself with studying her magic further, alongside protecting the city. She never had time to visit the shore, Which made Peppermint Cookie a little sad.

- I'd like to see that Madeleine Cookie and Financier Cookie are a little bit older than Clotted Cream Cookie (maybe 24 or 25 respectively)

➽─────────❥

【☆】 ★ 【☆】 ╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯ 【☆】 ★ 【☆】 I think that's it for now ahdshasd, I told you this is gonna be a short list, ;v; thank you if you read this far ~! I'll probably think of some stuff but for now, here's the current list this definitely tells that Clotted Cream Cookie is my favorite character lololol

notes:

fun fact, the bit about Clotted Cream Cookie being secretly talented at singing and is reluctant to sing in front of everyone is based on the crk 2nd anniversary stream where his eng va, aaron dismuke (aka miyuki shirogane in kaguya-sama love is war s1-s2 and william james moriarty in moriarty the patriot), was asked to sing in-character but he straight up refuses HAHSHSAHD

the last headcanon was based on the drawing I saw on twitter where young Madeleine Cookie disturbed baby Clotted Cream Cookie. In the drawing, Madeleine Cookie was depicted to be a kid and Clotted Cream Cookie being a baby Which means that Madeleine Cookie is older than Clotted Cream Cookie and I just personally find it both cute and hilarious

The bit where I mentioned my cookie run oc... I might reveal it here on tumblr sometime. But not right now.

once again, thank you guys so much for reading these stupid headcanons of mine ahahsdhsd

[sewlastcentury]

I love your ‘Uno Reverse’ series! Photographs are a such a scarce but important resource for a dress historian, and this series really puts things into perspective. Thanks for doing this work!

Do you have any advice for someone like me who wants to become a dress conservator/historian? I’m a tailor’s apprentice but I’m having a lot of trouble deciding how to continue my education.

Glad you're enjoying it :)

Oooh, big question. Prepare for a lot of words:

Dress history is a weird field to get into. If you want to be a historian, unless you're independently wealthy and can just spend all your time researching and writing, the usual professions are curatorship and professorship. There aren't a lot of either position available - many settle for historical societies, small colleges, etc - and neither make much in the way of money. Definitely consider your options very thoroughly! (Though if you're a tailor's apprentice you probably already know that, lol.)

Conservation is - from my POV - a better choice in the long run, because while institutions can stop hiring people to teach or do research, any place with a collection has to keep conserving it. Conservators also make more money, no question.

I went to a program that specialized generalized in both (FIT). Like you, I was unsure of what I wanted, and the flexibility was attractive. Other programs tend to specialize in one or the other, and now that I've been through FIT's program, I understand exactly why. There was no way to give us both curricula in their entirety in the two years we had, and I ended up feeling like I barely learned anything. However, I was coming from having completed a long conservation internship; I had studied up pretty thoroughly on fashion history before I attended the program at all; and I had already been through a separate MA previously, so I already had research and writing skills on a higher level than FIT even cares about. Given that caveat.. if I were to go back in time with this info, I would attend a different program that specialized in one or the other and therefore provided more comprehensive skills.

If you're interested in conservation, my biggest piece of advice would be to do an internship, preferably with a firm that specializes in it or at a big museum with a dedicated department. That will give you experience and familiarity like nothing else and also help you to understand whether it's the right field for you. But internships like that can be pretty competitive, so the second best option is to volunteer at a local historical society or house museum. Almost all of them are constantly on the lookout for volunteers, especially ones interested in preservation and the more scientific side of collections management. You won't be paid, unfortunately, but the upside is that almost any small institution will happily take helpers because they're desperate and cash-strapped. Reading through online publications like the National Park Service's Conserve-O-Gram is a great way to start building knowledge if nobody there is equipped to give it to you. (Every institution I've worked at has had a copy on hand for reference, lol.)

I volunteered for a small house museum years back and literally on day one they threw me at the clothing collection and told me to dress mannequins and pack textiles. I had very little idea what I was doing, but it was a great learning experience - and one that you're never going to get at a museum internship because they're so much more careful about their objects and access. (Pros and cons, but hey.)

+ As far as I know, you will need an MA to be hired to most conservation positions, but there's no reason you can't get started in the field without it first and make sure that's the degree you want/need. In terms of curatorship/professorship, an MA will get you into small local colleges but for anything larger you'll need a PhD, and that's a big commitment. You have to really like academia to get one of those suckers! As far as I'm aware, there are no stipended MA programs and only one PhD program (Bard) in this specific field that pays, so again, you have to be fiscally comfortable (or willing to go into debt and work two jobs) to get an advanced degree in the subject. It's a vicious cycle that keeps a lot of people out, and institutions can afford to keep it up because it's so competitive. +

All that said, historic sewing is a fantastic way to get into the field because knowledge of construction and technique gives you an excellent understanding of historic dress, and hand sewing techniques are essential for conservation. You're already on the right track!

If you want any book recs, off of the top of my head Refashioning and Redress and The Care and Display of Historic Clothing are two great, readable volumes.

Let me know if you have any other questions, but hopefully this helps!

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Covalence [Ch. 1]

University AU

TW/CW: Language, Mentions of a Previous Toxic Relationship (Lack of Trust),

Pairing: Qian Kun x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

(Y/N) Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 5K

(Part 1/4) [Next]

[NCT Masterlist] | [Covalence Masterlist] | [Full Fic Version]

Notes: This fic has been here for a while but I've decided to break this up into chapters since I had a couple of people say they prefer it as opposed to a full fic for pacing reasons, but just for y'all I'll include the link to the full fic! I hope you all enjoy! That and I also want to get some traction on the blog again hehe

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in or condone these actions. I would never wish any of these actions to occur to the Idol(s) mentioned in the writings of these stories, nor do I wish any harm on them.

0. Covalence

Covalence: (n) Relating to or denoting chemical bonds formed by the sharing of electrons between atoms. Often contrasted with ionic.

I. Strangers 

Wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, go to school, sit in class, eat lunch, sit in class, study, go home, study some more, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat.

Life is a routine for you, always the same, and rarely ever different. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s better this way. You enjoyed the stability and you found peace in the order. It kept your mind sharp and focused, it minimized distractions, and it helped you create a steady plan for success. Of course, you always made time for your friends, you needed a natural release every now and then or else you’d go insane under the pressure, and what better way to do it than with people you loved and cared about?

Your phone buzzed menacingly on your counter, you flipped it over and, of course, it was none other than your good-for-nothing ex. You silenced the call and sighed, you didn’t have the heart to block his toxic ass, but at the same time, he was really starting to drain you. The relationship’s been over for months now, you’ve gotten over it, so should he. If he “loved” you so much he wouldn’t have tried to constantly get into your privacy. You could never forgive him for reading through all of your texts and going through your history without your consent, he was the lowest of the low.

Your life has always had its ups and downs, which was natural. It’s natural to have your highs and lows in life, and you would go as far as to argue that without them you were never really living at all. These points defined you, much like the cardiogram of the heart, these points are you. They determine if you’re healthy, they determine if you’re sickly, and they determine when and if you need help. They are as necessary as the air you breathe, and that’s just how life works. If you’ve learned one life skill from University, it’s that you have to accept these as you and use them as stepping stones to move forward.

But you felt like your life was a broken record. Repeating the same things over and over again for weeks. You walk to your classes mechanically now, your body moves on its own. It walks a path that you had downloaded into your mind like the mindless drone University had turned you into. It’s ironic, for an institution that emphasized creativity, it did well to mold you into the same box that everyone else was in. You sit in class and you absorb information, you could care less about the faces around you unless you were in a group project with them. In the end, you’re all just students working for the same goal, competitive or not. They’re all, at most, strangers. And you had no will to get to know them. You didn’t have the time or the energy to, and that was just a fact amongst many. Every now and then you’d see a pretty or handsome face, or maybe your ears would pick up on some intelligent conversation that you’d want to place your input on, but you’d never be that shallow. You’d never say you were as simple as to speak to someone on their looks alone, that never got you anywhere, after all. Pretty faces are just that most of the time. Something to gawk at, something to envy, and something that is, in the end, superficial.

But you were the one to talk, weren’t you? Your apartment was rather plain compared to others. You had a tendency to not condone blatant superficialness, even though you yourself often fell victim to it. First impressions are important, after all, something you had become horribly aware of. And if ever you were insane enough to invite someone over, what would their thought be at your rather uninspired layout? You had bought a majority of the items second hand and within reason in order to save money, and you usually kept the curtains drawn so that they wouldn’t fade out the fabric more than they already have. You kept things simple, not minimalistic, just simple. Keeping the bare minimum to stay afloat. Hell, you just had a futon, coffee maker, and desk when you first moved in and now you had a tad bit more. Some would call it frugal, but you just called it simple.

You turned on the stove and heated up the kettle, pulling out the instant coffee from the cupboard and putting two slices of bread in the toaster. You opened your fridge and sighed, out of everything, as usual. You turned the stove off and made yourself a cup of coffee, pulling out the slices of toast and eating them just like that. A tasteless breakfast for a tasteless atmosphere, fitting, almost. Sometimes you felt like laughing to yourself at your situation, anyone looking from the outside would only pity you. Working only a minimum wage job would only get you so much, after all.

After finishing your breakfast, you finished your morning routine, barely bothering to put on much makeup, if any at all, before properly changing into an outfit for the day. You took your backpack from the side of the bed, then you grabbed your lanyard and hung it around your neck before stepping out to the chilly morning air.

You locked your apartment first thing, being sure that it actually was locked, this time. You couldn’t have a repeat of your ex waiting inside again, you don’t think you’d be able to be as civilized again if he were to try for a second time. You were lucky that your neighbors called the cops and escorted the bastard out, but you’ll never know. Why he was so insistent on butting back into your life, you really didn’t want to know, what you had came and went and you’re not willing to try to relive the good days. Every time you thought back to him all you could remember was the bad, small gestures you initially thought to be romantic here actually toxic, only masked with love.

You really needed to be more careful now, you were living alone this time. Your parents had long expressed their distaste with your living conditions, but you really couldn’t give a damn, and after explaining your reasoning they relented, settling on the fact that you should at least let them know that you were alive every now and then. You had a few bad experiences with your dorm mates last year, and you definitely didn’t want a repeat, you see. You could only hold their hairs up while they puked out all of that alcohol for so long before you lost your mind.

Maybe that was why you usually didn’t go to any parties, you didn’t want to end up wasted like they did. Well, to be fair, you usually didn’t drink alcohol at all, it just wasn’t your thing, it was rather bitter to you, and you didn’t really understand why anyone would subject themselves to the migraines the next morning, but who were you to judge? You each had your own lifestyles, yours just happened to not match theirs, and you couldn’t fault them for that. You just had to acknowledge that you were different, and so were they.

Mutual respect, something you always wanted, but not always something you got. Just like the case with your ex, you trusted him but he didn’t trust you. You hated it.

You pulled your ringing phone out of your pocket, hoping that it wasn’t your ex this time. He was racking up your phone bill, you should really put your foot down sometime soon.

“Hey, what’s up?” You held it to your ear while you unlocked your bike from its stand.

“(Y/N)! I’m so sorry, I can’t make it to chem today, mind if you take notes for me?” It was your friend, obviously. She was a commuter so she usually had some trouble making it to class, and you didn’t blame her, really, you just wished that she would give you a heads up sooner. She was rather clumsy and forgetful though, two things that never went well together. You couldn’t help but worry for her.

“It’s all good, don’t stress! Just be careful, yeah? I don’t want to hear about a car accident when I get home.”

“Oh, yeah, of course! Thanks, (Y/N), I owe you a bunch! Oh! Also, grab me a chocolate latte from the store next to lecture hall! Please? Thank you!” She hangs up first, not giving you a chance to answer but you would’ve told her yes anyway, and you hopped on your bike, heading straight to campus.

Your name was (L/N) (Y/N), and you were a full-time second-year student at your university. You had just gotten the hang of how things work, how to budget correctly, how to use your time effectively, all those necessities, and now you really felt like your life can begin. You had already gotten over the initial shock in your first year, ready to take on the world almost if you were just a bit more confident in your actions. Being on your own scared you, it really did, but you couldn’t help but feel more liberated now that you had the freedom to choose. Sure, it worked against you more often than not, but you were always so satisfied when you worked through it. This is the gratifying feeling of adulthood, right? Making your own choices, reaping your own benefits, and even more.

You parked and locked your bike right next to your lecture hall, walking over to the convenience store first and foremost, since you had time and figured why not. You walked down the aisle quickly, grabbing the prepackaged latte for your friend and heading straight for the register.

“Just this?” The cashier asks.

“Yup,” he rang up the latte and you pushed your card into the chip reader.

‘Card Declined.’

Ah, right, you almost forgot that you’re broke.

“Just a second please,” you pulled your debit card out in a hurry and dug through your wallet for $5.

“Hey! I told you that I’d pay for it,” someone’s voice said behind you. You turned around, seeing another student walk behind you and slide his card in for you. “It’s on me, don’t worry about it, call it thanks for helping me study,” he clears his throat and slides his headphones off of his head and around his neck.

Weird, you could definitively say that you’ve never seen this man in your life.

While the clerk was busy he just nodded his head and mouthed ‘Just go with it,’ then you got the idea. Sure, you were glad that he saved you from a possibly very embarrassing moment, but at the same time you felt kind of bad for both him and yourself, you must have looked pitiful. He handed you the latte and, with a quick smile, you said thank you and walked off quickly to the lecture hall, not paying him mind. Though if you ever ran into him again, you would be certain to thank him properly.

You walked into your class without a care, taking a seat near the front and taking all of your supplies out. You twirled your Apple Pen around your hand and powered on your iPad, being ready for whatever the lecture had to offer. Quick bit of context, both products were received second hand. You saw a rather sketchy Craig’s List offer for both at a discounted price of $100 and you figured that your back had been screaming at you long enough for those overload of books you’d carry every day to classes. So you decided, fuck it, and bought it. Turns out the deal wasn’t a bad one either, both products worked just fine, what a steal, am I right? A few minutes later, your professor came walking in, coffee in hand and notes in the other. She prepared the projector system wordlessly and soon the presentation showed up.

“I swear, I feel like I see less of you all every day,” she laughed, and the lecture room echoed with tired snickers. “Don’t worry, just about eight more weeks of these hell morning lectures and you’ll all be starting winter quarter! How exciting,” your professor forces a smile on her face. You appreciated her enthusiasm, really. She tried to keep everyone awake in her lectures, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough.

“Today we’re going off of last lecture and going back to our roots. Carbon and hydrogen bonding. You should’ve started these in your first year, so I hope you all saved your notes. Let’s begin,” she changes slides and you start writing.

Organic Chemistry, who the hell needs this anyway? Well, you do. Of course you do. Time to quit complaining and get writing. The content was a bit dense, but you were sure that you’d get it eventually, you’d probably end up just reading the textbook, if anything. Speaking of, you’d probably have to update your studying style, it’s always good to improve on things when you can. You put your pen down and flexed your hand, shaking the stinging pain off, and you picked it up again and resumed your notes. You could make them look prettier later, after all.

You looked up at the slides again, being sure to write down everything that looked rather important to you and highlighting what stood out, it sucked that the professor didn’t upload her slides ahead of time, but oh well, what could you do? You just had to work harder. But at this rate, you were afraid that you’d burn out, and you honestly were trying your best to avoid that since it was exactly that problem that happened in your first year. You’re better now, you know what to do and what to avoid. Sure, you’re not perfect, but then again, no one is. It’s all apart of being human.

Human huh? You hated what mornings did to you, making you think more about the nuances of life when you should be focusing on what the fuck stereochemistry was and how you were supposed to apply it to bonding organic molecules. Not to mention all this thinking was a horrible waste of time, if you zoned out for too long you could miss important parts of the lecture. You squeezed your cheek gently, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, and focusing back in on the PowerPoint, making sure your notes were at the very least legible as you wrote.

“And that’s time, thank you all for coming to lecture, and thank you all for filling out the Google Form, you will all be rewarded soon for your tenacity,” your professor says. She shuts down the slides and you pack your things. You still had a discussion class that day for Advanced Calculus, so unfortunately you weren’t homebound yet. You slid out of the narrow rows of chairs, taking care not to bump into anyone, and threw both of your earbuds in while you put your playlist on shuffle. You made a straight beeline for the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at your school, already submitting an order through the app because you just weren’t in the mood for social interaction that day. Then again, when were you?

By the time you reached the coffee shop your phone pinged, stating that your order was ready. You picked up the regular-sized beverage and looked around the cafe. Full, as always. You sighed softly and looked around, hoping that there was someone who would be kind enough to let you share tables with them. Strange fact that you didn’t know until last year, it was totally socially acceptable to ask a random student if you could sit across from them, as long as you followed the unspoken of rule to not engage in conversation unless absolutely necessary. You walked up to the closest one to you and waved your hand slightly. The man sitting at it looked up at you and pushed his headphones down onto his neck.

Oh, you could’ve sworn you’ve seen this guy before, right? You shook your head, he wasn’t ringing any bells.

“Hi, I’m sorry, do you mind if I sit here?” You pulled your own earbuds out so you could hear him. You had to admit, he was rather attractive. But again, you’d never be so shallow. He probably didn’t have a care in the world to direct towards a random person who asked if he could sit with him. You wouldn’t, why would he? That’s just how things worked. You ask for permission to invade a small bit of personal space and if the other person said yes then you do your work, after that whoever finished first left first. Maybe if you stayed longer than him you could take that outlet underneath him that he wasn’t using. You were too hesitant to ask him to use it now, it was rather awkward, and no matter which situation you thought of, it only ended up not playing in your favor.

“Oh, yeah go ahead,” he nods. He pushes up his round-framed glasses and moves his laptop out of the way while you sit across from him. You pulled your iPad out and selected the pages of your notes that your friend needed, sending them to her as soon as you had converted them into a .pdf file. You hadn’t heard from her since her phone call, and you were slightly worried that she wasn’t on campus yet, usually she’d text you and say that she’s on her way to class. Maybe she forgot today, you’d see her in discussion anyway. But what would you do if she wasn’t there? You couldn’t call her in case she was still stuck in traffic, you didn’t want her to get in an accident. You’d might as well just wait. You tried your best to ignore how the man in front of you was staring at your iPad.

“Sorry, can I help you?” Your impatience got the better of you. You hated it when people did stuff like this, you wanted to tell them to mind their own business, but you knew better than that.

“Oh, um, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” a light pink dusts his cheeks and he smiles awkwardly. You had to fight the urge to ask ‘So why did you?’ but you had to be polite. “Are you in Professor Nguyen’s class?”

“O-Chem?”

“Yeah, 8 a.m. class? Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?”

“Yes, sir,” you answered.

“I hate to ask this, but could you airdrop me those notes? I couldn’t follow the lecture at all,” he offers you a small smile and you nod your head. So that’s where you recognized him from, you were never particularly observant in your classes when it came to your classmates, especially in the particularly earlier classes.

“Yeah, of course! I’m sorry, they look kind of messy right now,” you admitted. He turned his laptop around.

“It can’t be as bad as this.”

“Oh god,” you were slightly shocked. “Is that shorthand?”

“Yeah, I made my own system because of how fast Dr. Nguyen talks, not to mention that she doesn’t let us record lectures,” he rolls his eyes.

“That’s actually really smart,” you gasped. “Hold on a sec, lemme send you these notes,” you duplicated the notes into a separate PDF and opened your airdrop.

“Uh, yeah, thanks again.”

“No problem,” you scrolled through the people. “Sorry, dumb question, I actually should’ve asked this earlier. What’s the name of your device?”

“Right, right, I should’ve mentioned that, huh?” He scrambled to go through his own laptop to check the name. “Sorry, my friends change the name every now and then to annoy me, they used to do it when we were roommates and it’s just become a running gag.”

“Oh, do I understand that, that’s why I opted to live alone this quarter,” you groaned. “I love roommates, I just happened to have really bad ones before.”

“Oh no, you didn’t request a transfer?”

“I did. Multiple times.”

“This university can’t do their damn job,” he shakes his head. “Oh, sorry, it’s listed under Kun’s Laptop. Thank god they didn’t change it this time.”

“Kun’s Laptop…” you repeated, scrolling through the many recipients. “Got it. Tell me if it sends.”

“(Y/N)’s iPad?”

“Yup.”

“Thanks, I got it,” he smiles.

“So, I’m guessing that you’re Kun then?”

“Yeah, and you’re (Y/N).”

“That’s right, I’m a second year here, biochem major.”

“Cool, I’m a third year, neuroscience major.”

“Third year?” You asked him. You had to admit, he looked older than most third years you knew.

“Oh, yeah. I look a bit older than the others, huh?” It wasn’t that noticeable actually, maybe it was just the air he had about himself. He was much more mature. You hoped that you didn’t seem rude, maybe you exaggerated a little. Like you said, it wasn’t even all that noticeable. The fact that he brought it up must mean that it’s an insecurity of his, so you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. “I took a year break from classes to travel around, make some money, live a little, you know? Then things came up, and one year became longer than I intended. But, I’m back here, finishing things up… I’ll admit, maybe I took too long.”

“What? Don’t say that,” you said it faster than you had originally meant to. You really just wanted to make up for your initial rudeness, but the more you thought about it, the more you realized that there actually was nothing wrong with it. You kind of wished that you took that route instead. You’ve always wanted to travel around more, gather a bigger understanding of the world and its beautiful array of different cultures, it would do well for your overall understanding, you thought. Plus, there was a certain charm to traveling the world without restraints, wandering the streets of some country you didn’t know well, getting lost in their cities, or even learning the language naturally. “It’s never too late to start. And maybe I should’ve taken a break too. I just went straight after graduating from high school. I have a small regret about not enjoying my freedom more, so I envy you a little.”

“Is that so?” He flashes a smile. “I don’t think it’s my place to say this, but I never thought it was worthwhile to live with regrets.”

“Oh yeah?” A life without regrets? Easier said than done, you thought to yourself. You’ve done a plethora of things that you’ve regretted, but you guessed that he had a point. There really was no point in dwelling in the past, what matters most is that you take accountability for it, acknowledge that you did it in the past, apologize if necessary, and made up for it in the present. But, you had to admit that it was a rather interesting way of living, ideal at the most. You couldn’t fault him for thinking in such a way, part of you wanted to live like that too, but you were much too stubborn.

“Mmhmm, make the most of what you’re doing now. And if you missed an opportunity, you missed it. It’s always best to make do with what you have in the now, and make it into something wonderful and rewarding,” he says. He takes a sip of his coffee. Maybe it was your tired brain, but you really did find him attractive, more so now. He certainly wasn’t handsome in the traditional sense, but the way he spoke was somewhat eloquent to you. Like you mentioned earlier, you tended to find a favor in people like him. You secretly hoped that you’d run into him more often, he seemed like he had a lot to say on certain topics and you couldn’t help but be curious. “Or maybe I’m just being strange from lack of sleep and the near overdose of caffeine,” he finished with a light tone, probably figuring that it was too early for anything too philosophical.

“God, do I understand that,” you laughed, “but, no, not at all, I caught what you were throwing,” you straightened yourself a little, suddenly very aware of your slouched posture. What he said had a small effect on you, it resonated, actually. You liked that. You felt bad though. You didn’t even remember his name. Which is a bad habit of yours, you forgot names so easily, you had even sent him your notes and read it off of your iPad and you still couldn’t remember. It was rather embarrassing, and you knew it, as long as you avoided being stuck in a situation where you’d have to say it, you should be fine.

“Sorry for getting so deep this early in the morning,” he glanced at the clock on his laptop. “I tend to get like that around this time, I tend to forget my boundaries this early.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it! I’m the same way, that’s why I usually don’t talk much this early, I’m afraid that I’ll go on some longwinded speech. Sorry if I seemed abrasive at first too, I swear I’m usually really talkative if we spoke in the afternoon instead.”

“Same here, mornings are just not a very good time to meet people, usually. You’re not your usual self yet,” he chuckles. “That’s one thing I learned from three years of neuroscience courses, at the very least,” a small lopsided smile appeared on his face and he sighed.

“I felt that, I know I’m supposed to be maintaining the information I’m learning now, but goodness I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning,” you shook your head.

“Don’t worry about that,” he chuckles. “What matters are your upper divisions anyway, that’s when you learn the technical skills. General ed’s just there just in case you figured that you wanted to do something else,” his voice had a hint of tiredness in it. You’d press more, but you didn’t want to overstep your boundaries with someone you had just met.

“You’ve got a point there,” you thought back on your own choice of major. It was the best choice for you considering your choice in career, which is why you stuck with it despite the multitudes of people who had already switched majors within their first year. You would’ve too if you didn’t have the motivation to continue, but instead here you were, still in biochemistry. “If I’m going to switch majors, this is my last year to do it.”

“That’s true. Once you’re a third year, it’s hard to switch majors, and not to mention expensive. Some credits don’t transfer over either, and you might end up having to take more classes.”

“It would delay my graduation date,” you frowned. “Regardless, I think I’m happy with my major. It’s not as competitive anymore since so many people dropped out,” you admitted bashfully.

“That’s one reason to stay,” he nods. “And there’s no shame in that, either. I’m assuming you’re a medical science emphasis if you’re talking about competition?”

“I am! Some people are so hard to get along with in this emphasis, like we’re all working for the same goal, we should be supporting each other, right?”

“I agree! I can say the same about neuroscience majors. I’ll never understand why everyone’s so willing to shove people out of the boundaries of the race. We’re all working towards the same goal in the end, we should be supportive of each other,” he stops himself before he continues. “Sorry again, I’m a bit passionate on the subject. I’ve always tried to help my classmates whenever I can, but many other classmates of mine think oppositely and I just can’t understand why,” he shakes his head.

“Mm, I understand that, don’t worry. It’s free to be a decent person, I don’t get the rush people are in. Plus, everyone learns differently, it doesn’t hurt to lend a helping hand here and there,” you continued. You were just thinking about how much you admired his ‘Life Without Regrets’ philosophy, but you were really starting to regret the fact that you probably wouldn’t see him again after this conversation in this cafe. Maybe you’d see him in O-Chem every now and then, considering that you both have the same lecture time, but you doubted that you’d ever have a chance to have a full interaction with him again.

“Hey, let me pay you back for the notes,” he offers, eyeing your coffee next to your device. And an opportunity presents itself to you, as if some omnipotent being was listening to your thoughts and decided ‘why not?’ But your consciousness got the better of you.

“No, it’s alright, we’re both struggling through the lectures, so it’s fine! I’m just happy to help out a classmate,” You waved your hands in front of you. You had a slight fear that it would leave you indebted to him in some way, and you couldn’t accept that. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but you could never be too sure in this society.

“No way, I insist. Plus, I’d feel bad if I just studied someone else’s work for free. Let me buy you a drink here sometime.” You had to admit, you couldn’t say no to free coffee. And you could only live off of the cheap 3-in-1s that you got from Walmart for so long. But part of you did feel a little bad for using him for as much as free coffee, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, after all. “Here, I’ll leave you my number,” he grabbed a napkin and scribbled his phone number down, putting his name at the end of it. Thank god. You thought for a moment, there’s no turning back now. You grabbed another napkin and wrote down your own name and number and slid it over to him.

“Sure, same time on Wednesday?”

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[uboat53]

All right, time to talk about the trans panic on the right. It's part of a deeper and more disturbing pattern on their part and I think it's time we laid it out in the open. Time for a LONG RANT (TM).

INTRODUCTION

All right, who's old enough to remember the crime panic of the 90s? You know, the nameless, faceless crime that was going to get you? How about the gay panic of the 00s? Who's old enough to remember the miscegenation panics of the civil-rights and pre-civil-rights eras? I'm not, but they happened.

All of these had one thing in common and they share that thing in common with the trans panic of today; all of them are designed to make people afraid that a group of strangers, generally one they have little direct contact with, will commit crimes against them. This despite the fact that pretty much all data we have on crimes shows that you are much, much more likely to be assaulted, raped, or murdered by someone you know.

CRIME STATISTICS

The FBI crime statistics state that:

"In 2011, in incidents of murder for which the relationships of murder victims and offenders were known, 54.3 percent were killed by someone they knew (acquaintance, neighbor, friend, boyfriend, etc.); 24.8 percent of victims were slain by family members." [1]

Now, you might see that and think "okay, that's pretty bad, but it's only about half, that means that about half of all murders are committed by strangers, right?" But let's continue the quote:

"The relationship of murder victims and offenders was unknown in 44.1 percent of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter incidents in 2011." [1]

In other words, it's not that 54.3% of murder victims were killed by people they knew and 45.7% were killed by people they didn't, it's that 54.3% of murder victims were killed by people they knew, 1.6% were definitely killed by people they didn't know, and 44.1% were killed by people we're not sure if they knew or not. In other words, you are way, way, way, way more likely to be killed by someone you definitely know than by someone you definitely do not.

The statistics are even more stark for rape and sexual assault where less than 20% of sexual violence is committed by strangers [2]. Of children who are sexually abused, 93% knew their abuser [2].

In other words, you are far, far more likely to be the target of a violent crime from a person you know than a stranger. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for people to take no precautions out in public, I'm pointing out that doing so while ignoring that a person is much more likely to be victimized by someone they know is setting them up to fail. So why would someone do that?

CONSERVATIVE WORLDVIEW

One thing that's become clear to me in recent years is that there's a huge difference in the way that liberals and conservatives view the world. Liberals generally view all people as being about the same and see safety in the form of institutions and oversight. Conservatives, on the other hand, do not see all people as being the same, and they separate the world into "us" and "them" based on various criteria, with "us" representing safety and "them" representing danger.

Over the course of history and even within different contexts at the same time and even in the same person, this can and has taken different meanings. We can think, of course, of the race-based "us and them" that dominated the South (among other parts of America) for centuries and whose traces still remain. The same person, for example, may see women as part of their family, "us", but also as a nameless, faceless group seeking to make unwanted changes to society, "them".

This one particular issue could be fodder for multiple graduate level courses of study, but I hope you can see the general outline of how this works. I also hope that, given the previous section, you can see how many conservatives would be particularly unwilling to accept the conclusion that most danger comes from those they know.

To this worldview, "us" represents safety. The only way to engage with the facts presented above are to abandon this particular worldview, introduce significant nuance that will change it substantially, or to deny the facts themselves.

I should point out that not all conservatives, those that remain conservative in this regard and don't take the first option, are on board with the last option. Many conservatives do engage with the reality of crime statistics and genuinely incorporate them into their worldview, though that does tend to significantly alter that worldview. More conservatives than not, particularly those involved in political activism, however, do take that latter path. Even worse, the polarization of information sources in this country means that they are able to prevent an even larger amount of conservatives from even hearing those facts that might contradict their worldview at all.

THE PROBLEMS

As you might imagine, rejecting observable reality leads to quite a few negative consequences. I'm going to go through a few examples where adherence to an "us vs. them" worldview and the rejection of factual information about crime cause pain and hardship for people and communities, but this is by no means a definitive list of every harm caused by this issue.

Child Abuse

For the last few years we've been treated to conservatives making their case that LGBTQ information being taught to children is "grooming" or akin to child abuse. They argue that this information makes children susceptible to being abused by LGBTQ people. Of course, if you've read the above, you know that children are not randomly being abused by some shady cabal of LGBTQ strangers, most children who are abused are overwhelmingly abused by people they know.

This causes harm in two ways. First of all, it makes an association between being LGBTQ and being a child abuser that isn't remotely accurate. People acting on that association can and do cause harm to lots of innocent people.

Secondly, however, it confuses people as to what grooming and child abuse really are and how they actually happen. Children aren't groomed or abused by being taught about different ways of life in a classroom setting, children are groomed by individuals in their life who seek to put themselves into positions of trust where they can be alone with a child over whom they have some authority. In other words, your child is far (far, far) more likely to be abused by their babysitter or their pastor than by some gay or trans stranger.

Parents who have absorbed the message that grooming and child abuse looks like education about LGBTQ issues are particularly poorly equipped to recognize actual grooming and abuse when it actually happens. Child abuse statistics are notoriously hard to come by, but this may explain why a disproportionate amount of Evangelical pastors have been found to have abused children over the last few decades [3] [4].

Parental Custody

This one is tangentially related to child abuse, but in the last few decades, child custody courts have seen a rise in so-called cases of "parental alienation". If you're not familiar with this idea, it's the idea that one parent in a custody battle has manipulated their children to take their side against the other parent.

Now, this idea in itself isn't necessarily (emphasis on "necessarily") problematic. Given the stakes, I think it's likely that this does happen from time to time, though it's hard to say exactly how often. What is problematic is when this accusation is raised as a counter to multiple corroborated accusations of abuse, sexual and otherwise. Parental Alienation Syndrome, as its advocates call it, is not based on any research and largely seems to stem from a rejection of the belief that parents can be abusers; a rejection of the facts listed above.

It's hard to say how often this particular accusation is brought up in court in an attempt to counter credible allegations of abuse, but there is certainly a small nation-wide industry that has sprung up claiming to be able to testify to it in court and provide remedies, for significant cost [5].

As to the harms that this particular belief or movement can cause, ProPublica has been on the front lines of covering this particular issue and has noted a case in Colorado where a man was given custody of his young son even after multiple mandatory reporters over several years had reported physical and sexual abuse incidents to the state [6] and another in Utah where children barricaded themselves in their room to avoid being sent to their father even after child welfare investigators found that their accusations of sexual abuse were supported [7].

This causes harm not only to the children who are forcibly returned to a parent who is credibly known to have abused them, but also causes immense harm to the other parent and relatives of the children who, presumably, care about those children and are prevented from protecting them as well as to the entire system of child welfare which is prevented from doing the one thing it is supposed to be doing.

CONCLUSION

I think I've successfully shown that most crime is not perpetrated by strangers, that this conflicts with the general conservative view of the world, and provided some examples of real-world harm that occurs when conservatives attempt to implement that worldview in contradiction of the facts. The above is, of course, far from a comprehensive list of any of those three things but, I think, it's a representative sample.

At the very least, I hope I've placed the recent trans panic in context. It's not an isolated incident, but part of a long and concerted effort to deny the fact that most violent crimes are committed by people who know the victim. By denying that fact, which is clear from even a cursory examination of the data as I have presented here, they cause immense damage to many people in the real world and allow genuine criminals to ply their craft far more effectively.

I hope you found this interesting and I'd be very interested to hear if you think I missed anything.

SOURCES

[1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7]

[multitrackdrifting]

some writing notes on my ishigami video

it's nice that akasaka aka points out that kaguya is very different to when she was the "ice queen" (hayasaka says this early on), and one of the first serious chapters with her that isn't about shirogane is helping ishigami study

she knows he's not lazy or disinterested because he's stupid and incapable of learning, but because his foundational learning was disrupted by his absence from middle school due to being unable to write an apology

she recognises that his games and stuff are a distraction to his studies, which is like, yeah, she is right about that since he has treated them as a crutch to bide his time.

she sticks up for ishigami to girls gossiping about him and tries to beat him into shape by helping him study every single day so he passes and recognises how the rumours, the distractions & his ethic that result from that stop him from doing well - while he doesn't magically get straight As, it's apparent that with the right support he could start to study better and while that seems like "well why does he have to? people have different strengths"

ishigami used to be athletic (being the fastest runner in his year), and while he wasn't a top ranked student or anything like that, his traumatic experience in middle school and the rumours that resulted from it definitely drive his disinterest with studies to be far worse than that. which is why having kaguya in his corner for numerous exams is so nice cause while she cares about defeating shirogane in exams, she doesnt place that desire above the real possibility that ishigami could fail to graduate and while he doesn't need a job or even money because of his dad, it also means he would be even more isolated and unable to connect with people his age. everyone is talking about their futures, their grades, their exams, and ishigami is more or less absent from that kind of idle banter

studying is a pretty social activity for some people, they make study groups for exams, chill at study hall and whatnot and idk, ishigami is barely involved in student life in the beginning so going from studying to avoid failing, to joining a club, to actually trying to enjoy his days as a kid since he's still only 15 (16 by the time the seniors graduate), he starts to appreciate it at the perfect time

when it comes to ethic and stuff like that i think people are quick to call others lazy and stuff cause of our preconceptions about them, but ishigami would still be worth helping even if he had no trauma or history that made it difficult to learn i think.

i think that the way that things are structured arent suited to the needs of people who struggle to learn, and the ways that they can catch up aren't even like actual failsafes built into schools and universities either. that you can't really catch up and succeed in school if you miss any classes and get someone's notes or something means that if you sit outside of the social structure of it, you are just doomed to fail if you miss anything at all and have nobody to ask and your professor is unhelpful about it

idk, that arc was really nice and im glad it expands to ishigami gradually becoming more motivated to study, not just to impress his crush, but because kaguya believed that there was hope for him in his academics where he had more or less all but given up for three years.

you dont have to have good grades to have self-worth but its more about integrating back into school life that's really hard for him - you don't really have to reconcile it with your beliefs about school as an institution for getting a job cause that's not really relevant to his personal circumstances. ishigami is rich, he don't need a job, he just wants to overcome his inferiority complex and trauma to just, have a normal school life. its not about what comes next per se, but making sure that the life that he lives now is one where he is not afraid to do things. whether he comes to regret what he does, it's much worse to live a life where you never take risks and just resign yourself to the box people shoved you into

he talks badly of normies and people with success in romance, clubs and academics because part of him wants to have the courage to do the same but its just easier to call yourself human trash and joke about killing yourself a lot for him.

when he talks about miko during the elections, he expresses how much he hates it when people talk shit about people who do their best like passion is something you can laugh at, and internally, he recognises this is hypocritical when he joins the cheer club that he dismisses their passion as bullshit so he puts himself in uncomfortable situations to start walking the path to becoming the fucking goat

most things that will help you grow are excruciating, long-winded habit building exercises that will help you endure in the long run and that's why it's so fucking cathartic to see him continually take steps to better his life as things go on

he doesn't magically get rewarded for making his life one that he feels proud of, but in doing so, he experiences the rewards of coming out of his shell and moving from self-deprecating introvert gag guy to someone with better emotional expression and ability to connect with others, someone who actually knows he doesn't deserve to live life in isolation, without antyhing to be proud of. he doesn't just get handed unearned Ws, he has plenty of fumbles and awkward experiences, but to be able to endure that and keep living with his head held high surrounded by people he confidently calls his friends is just pure kino

[dankusner]

DINING Elevating Bishop Arts’ youthful glow

Developer has eye on plans to add boutique hotel, more eateries

If you think you’re familiar with Dallas’ Bishop Arts District — its funky shops, pretty restaurants and fringe attitude — its most prolific developer is far from finished.

Exxir Capital developer Michael Nazerian has built out just 15% of the nearly 16 acres he bought southwest of West Davis Street and North Zang Boulevard.

Next, his company will build a boutique hotel, 600 apartments, at least five restaurants, a private club and an underground discotheque.

The project Nazerian started in 2009 is now worth about $250 million, he estimated.

Full build-out will include about 2 million square feet of restaurant, retail and living spaces in this sector of the Bishop Arts District, Nazerian explained in a series of Dallas Morning News interviews.

That’s a lot of change for this historically Hispanic area separated from downtown Dallas by the Trinity River.

Nazerian agreed. “We’re humbled by how much effort it takes,” he said.

Nazerian’s new buildings stand in juxtaposition to the 100-year-old buildings nearby majority-owned by Jim Lake, an unaffiliated “redeveloper” who makes use of aging areas.

Nazerian says the Bishop Arts District needs both old and new.

His vision was to “create the most charming, walkable neighborhood in America,” a plan inspired by his travels all over the world.

Nazerian’s parents are immigrants from England and Iran.

His brother is a shaman who trained in the Amazon for 10 years.

Nazerian studied not only the most walkable cities in the U.S. and abroad, but he also visited Portland and Kansas City, areas he thinks are more analogous to Dallas.

Today, a Saturday afternoon in the Bishop Arts District looks like Uptown Dallas did 15 or 20 years ago.

Bishop Avenue is often buzzing with couples shopping, families eating and bachelorette parties day drinking.

The neighborhood feels young, alive and diverse.

Some neighbors who have lived here for generations are still a short distance away from the cranes and bulldozers.

Some were displaced by development.

Nazerian said there’s “comfort” in a neighborhood with history.

“The culture isn’t being recreated from nothing, but rather, enhanced and grown from what it was,” he said.

Restaurants play big role

The Bishop Arts District’s redevelopment over the past 15 to 20 years has been anchored by restaurants.

Early arrivers included Oddfellows, Lockhart Smokehouse and farm-to-table restaurant Bolsa, today reinvented as Encina.

Dozens more have kept diners coming back, like local favorite Taco y Vino and nationally lauded Italian restaurant Lucia.

Nazerian’s restaurants Paradiso, Bar Eden and Casablanca have gotten reputations for their good looks.

They’re like models, standing a little too tall in the neighborhood, wearing designer shades.

Nazerian and his team designed them that way on purpose.

But he’s rarely satisfied.

“It irks me that this is seen as a pretty face, an Instagram spot,” he said over lunch at Paradiso.

It is pretty in here, I mused, sitting underneath a chandelier I’d like in my own house, and near a tall houseplant I don’t know how to grow.

The menu is serious, Nazerian insisted.

As if to drive that point home, he hired Julian Rodarte as Exxir’s new “director of experience” to help with the company’s growth in the Bishop Arts District.

Dallas native Rodarte is a Culinary Institute of America grad who co-owns Beto & Son with his dad in Dallas’ Trinity Groves.

Rodarte was also once affiliated with the group that purchased Trudy’s, an Austin Tex-Mex institution.

Rodarte has the attitude of a TV chef.

He’s calm and confident.

Nazerian was drawn to him because of his “childlike enthusiasm” for new projects and restaurant hospitality.

When Rodarte started the job in November 2023, he learned all about the Bishop Arts restaurants from Exxir’s executive chef Nick Hurry, who has been with the company from the start.

Rodarte’s first plan: Don’t mess with Paradiso.

It’s the highest-grossing restaurant in the fleet.

And even though it has a reputation as an Instagram spot, chefs here are making their own pasta, bread and pizza dough.

Paradiso’s executive chef Adam Krajewski occasionally experiments with new specials like a vegetarian smoked carbonara, inspired by the time he spent in the kitchen at Eleven Madison Park in New York City.

Rodarte will instead spend more time at Tejas, Exxir’s Tex-Mex restaurant.

He and Hurry will refresh its menu, adding new items like an appetizer of duck tacos served in tiny, crispy shells and topped with mole.

He’ll also do a riff on a Choco Taco — the waffle cone taco from his childhood. Early iterations from pastry chef Erika Vasquez show taco-shaped cones stuffed with chocolate mousse and peanuts or vanilla ice cream and sprinkles.

Rodarte has also put some work into the Casablanca menu.

The landlocked restaurant with a beach theme has become a hot spot for patio drinkers.

Its private karaoke rooms inside draw crowds in the evenings.

Rodarte is rethinking what kind of food matches this sunny spot.

So far, he’s added veggie dumplings and popcorn chicken with gochujang.

All of it — the food, the drinks and the service — is about creating places where people want to be, Nazerian said.

“I love that Julian understands big-H ‘hospitality,’” Nazerian said.

It matches Nazerian’s goal to “create beautiful places for people to connect” in the Bishop Arts District.

What’s the vibe?

If the Bishop Arts District is going to have an Uptown-like vibe, Tipsy Beach is right on time.

Tipsy Beach is a riff on Tipsy Elf, a Christmastime event in the Bishop Arts District.

It brought so many new faces to Oak Cliff that it just made sense to replicate it during bikini season, the team said.

“It brings energy,” Nazerian said. “Youth.”

At this summertime pop-up, three main bars near Casablanca will serve cocktails with party favors, like a little squeaky shark swimming in a blue cocktail.

Customers may never know it, but the juices are fresh-squeezed.

The team cores out pineapples and coconuts for drinks.

The effort is reminiscent of Paradiso, the model that made straight As.

There’s technique at all of Exxir’s restaurants and bars.

But they look pretty, too.

Between now and mid-July 2024, Tipsy Beach will host Barbie -themed beach parties, toga parties and a mai tai cocktail competition.

On summer evenings, it won’t be surprising to find groups posing on corners of Oak Cliff lit up in neon.

Is this the Oak Cliff of the future?

Maybe.

“I want to say there’s a grand plan,” Rodarte said of Tipsy Beach, “but we really just want to have a lot of fun.”

Next, Rodarte will work on the hotel — one Nazerian likens to San Antonio’s Pearl Brewery project anchored by the Hotel Emma.

Rodarte will oversee the opening of the fine-dining restaurant that will be installed in Exxir’s coming-soon hotel.

He’ll help with the discotheque and much more.

Rodarte was once CEO of Trinity Groves, another food-heavy development where Rodarte would “play restaurant,” as he put it.

Trinity Groves, like the Bishop Arts, is a growing part of Dallas built in a historically low-income neighborhood.

Nazerian is sure that his investment in the Bishop Arts District is sound. But he’s careful how he talks about it.

“I think we’re in the first inning,” he said. “We have a great base. And now we brought in this superstar, Julian.”

[jeramewrites2]

Current Reading, pg 52.

There has been a fair amount going on for the last few weeks in the news and everywhere for everyone. For me personally I finished a semester at Texas Tech as a distance learner and didn't really enjoy my classes. I took the intro to Women's and Gender Studies class as well as a Logic class.

The intro class was fine but had a little too much white feminism for me. There was a fair amount on trying not to center the white voice in liberation spaces but it was still coming from a very colonized mindset. I think it is a good intro class but I learned more about me and myself by the gender study class that I took at ASU. That had nothing to do with the class and 100% to do with the book we read. (Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions) That is a book that I would recommend to any cis person looking to understand the history and how gender is A) a social construct and B) how we don't always see how that informs out thoughts and feelings and personalities.

The Logic class I can't really give anyone any crap about that. I was talking to my advisor and I needed one more math credit and she suggested a philosophy class LOGIC. I figured ok I have enjoyed philosophy classes in the past and I don't really get how that counts as a math class but whatever sounds good. (I was not aware of the mathematical concept of logic. Obviously.) So I gotta say that one is on me. I probably should have investigated a little further into what I was getting into.

My brain was melting pretty much the whole time. The professor is a hard ass and did not accept late work and was just mostly stringent about work. There was very little extra credit and there was the possibility for help but they where office hours that you could go to but as a distance learner that works full time it was hard for me to zoom into those times. Again that one is on me and not his fault. Ultimately he graded the class on a pretty stiff curve. I do not think that I did A- work but that is the grade that I received.

After classes where over I was ready to get back into reading. If you have looked I have shared the two "reviews" for the two books I have read so far. One was The Poppy War and the other Confessions. I am a slow reader and at one point in my life my teachers thought that I might be dyslexic. I guess at some point I might actually want to get a true diagnosis but at 41 years is there a reason for that? The more I read the faster I get and my comprehension continues to improve as well as my spelling.

I picked up this Connie Willis novel because I REALLY enjoyed Doomsday Book and wanted to continue in that world. I didn't expect the comedic aspect of this new one. I have read Hitchhiker's and am a Terry Pratchett fan but I am having a hard time getting into this one. I am going to keep going and see what I think of it. I am hardly even 10% into the book so I still have a long way to go.

Right now I am making some rye bread and listening to a playlist of music from my library that I have 0 plays for. This playlist is a full day long so I will see if I ever finish this but so far.... it's fine. The albums are all in my library so at some point I was interested in the music but not necessarily drawn to those specific tracks.

I wish you all a happy and healthy Sunday.

As always Thanks for Reading.