#the issues have nothing to do with the fact that he's a mass murderer though that's unrelated

[gerardspuppy]

♡☮♦ any/all of those you feel like for Mairon/Sauron 🤗

- olorinestel

Hell yeah!

♡- romantic hc

so I have to admit, I do hc Mairon as being very close to aro. I think he had three romantic-ish relationships in his life, and they were with Eonwe, Melkor, and Tyelpe. For Eonwe it was very onesided- basically Mairon thought they were close friends but was really hiding a lot from him, meanwhile Eonwe really liked him. With Melkor depending on what mood I'm in it's either more like devotion than romance, or it really is the one genuine relationship he had as a kind of exception (which would explain why he was so immediantly loyal, imo). I like angsty brutal angbang but I also like when they're sweet. Then for Tyelpe it was like very close friendship/borderline romance. It probably made Mairon feel guilty as hell since he'd only ever felt like this about Melkor, and he kind of panicked and did things he later regretted. He's not a big fan of romance unless it involves some kind of eternal devotion overtones, I'm afraid.

☮ - friendship hc

In Valinor, I think his only friends were Eonwe, and to a lesser degree, Olorin. He put up with them but preferred to be alone and was generally quiet and withdrawn. In Angband, he was close with Gothmog and Thuringwethil, but there was kind of the border of professionalism there, as well as Mairon's general refusal to talk about his personal life, and there wasn't usually much time to have fun bc of the war. Maybe in the earlier days. They probably had the most fun when they got drunk with each other. After Melkor was defeated he had no real friends until he died :)

There are two AUs I have though, one where Tar-Miriel becomes a Nazgul and sort of befriends him through their shared Numenor trauma, and one where Frodo can communicate with him through the Ring/in dreams, which kind of counts I guess? He's mostly just lonely though. ♦ - quirks/hobbies

Ok here's a list of random stuff:

his favorite thing to do is solve maths/science problems with melkor. they're total opposites and their ideas bounce rlly well off of eachother

his hair is naturally curly but he straightens it, and he has freckles but he hides them with makeup. why doesn't he just change his fana, you ask? melkor says he prefers it like this

theres always blue eyeshadow under his eyes

he love love loves strawberry jam

bdsm is pretty much his only coping mechanism. he has issues.

when he's around close friends he's super quiet. doesn't like to talk much. he's actually a kind of shy person but whenever he's playing the part of Sauron/Gorthaur (or later annatar) no one can tell

he likes to dance but thinks it's unprofessional. will only do so if ordered to (so he can claim he was just following orders)

(tw body horror) his favorite flower is the rose because he used to hide in a rosebush in yavanna's gardens where no one would dare go. yavanna later makes roses grow out of his flesh during lotr as punishment

he invented clocks!

he's always busy with The War which leaves very little time for hobbies. he has a list of things he wishes he had the time to do, hidden in his room cause he feels guilty that he's betraying melkor's cause. by the time melkor is defeated its an entire notebook long, and he burns it, vowing to never long for anything other than his master's will again

he gets very giggly when stressed or angry (which is kind of canon?)

he has cried exactly three times in his life. hated himself for showing such weakness all three times.

[autumnmobile12]

The League of Morons vs A Summer Camp

All right, so I love the hell out of this nonsense and I want to talk about the Vanguard's plan and how ridiculous it was.

First, most of the crew showed up a night early and…well, then what?  That first night, Dabi says they’re still waiting on a few more people to arrive.  Okay, so what are you all doing here already?

Did Kurogiri warp them back to the bar after they’d gotten a look at the place?  Scouted the area a bit?  You needed seven people for that? Were they that bored waiting for Twice, Compress, and the Nomu to show up?  What were they doing in the 24 hours between this part and the actual attack?  Standing on that cliff and muttering,  “Heroes…”?

Was Toga all, "Guys, I'm tired. Can we go back to the bar already?"

Spinner: "No, as villain protocol dictates, we must stand here menacingly for a minimum of twelve hours."

Dabi: Fuck you, I'm going to bed.

Except for being a scare tactic, having Dabi start a fire was mostly unnecessary. Their goal was to further weaken society's faith in heroes by targeting UA students, so you'd think he'd be a little more proactive in...well, actually harming someone. As it happened, the fire really only to served to announce there was an attack happening.

But I’ll throw the Vanguard a bone here and say this was Spinner’s doing.  Like their original plan was to start a massive fire that would consume both classes and all the heroes in a singular tragedy, but then Spinner said,  “Hey, pump the breaks, people.  We’re here to uphold Stain’s ideals about toppling the corrupt Hero culture.  Do we really want mass child murder as part of our brand?” Sure, he wanted to go after Iida, but he was a specific target since he was on Stain's hit list.

The two copies Twice made of Dabi were virtually useless in a fight since Vlad and Aizawa both took him out so quickly it was embarrassing.  And yet he’s apparently a big enough threat that No. 1 and No 2. can’t handle him.  Go fig.

Endeavor/Hawks:  Oh, no, he’s too strong…

Aizawa/Vlad:  Listen here, you little shit!

...

Muscular goes and reveals their plan even though he didn’t have to.  They all saw the Sports Festival, they knew what Bakugo looked like, and yet here he is asking Deku where he he can find Bakugo as if he was going to answer him.  Yes, he didn’t think there was any harm in telling him since his plan was to kill Deku anyway, but alerting UA to the fact they were looking to kidnap someone is still just hubris.

Going after Bakugo in the first place was a dumb idea.  We can probably credit that one to Shigaraki because only he would look at the violently temperamental teenager raging on national television and think,  “Yes, he seems like a reasonable person to negotiate with.”

...

Gonna drop in some actual light criticism here: Given the inequality issues that arise in the series later, targeting the heteromorph students for recruitment purposes would have been a smarter move for the LoV.  They’re all part of a demographic that has a justified reason for being dissatisfied with society, so there would have been a believable chance of the LoV thinking they could sway some people to their side.

But hey, the League of Villains was on a learning curve. Give 'em a break.

He totally saw Aoyama here.  Or at least he heard him because he clocked that there was something weird about that bush and he was going to go check it out…and then Twice distracted him and Dabi has an total ADHD moment and forgets what he was doing.

And it's not because Aoyama was the spy. Nobody in the Vanguard knew.

1.) Shigaraki says he tried and couldn't figure out where the camp was, but AFO figured it out relatively quickly. So if even his successor doesn't know who the spy was or called on that resource, then why would AFO tell anyone else in the group?

2.) Moonfish, Muscular, and Mustard were all apprehended, but none of them ratted out Aoyama, as someone with nothing left to lose would. Neither did Kurogiri when he was later apprehended, but that one may have been a loyalty matter. So I think this was a case of AFO saying, "I have a source of info and you don't need to know who it is." Because at the end of the day, AFO is an arrogant narcissist who's definitely not placing all his eggs in one basket. Aoyama wouldn't be an easy spy to replace, so of course AFO would want to limit any chances of him being exposed.

So this was Dabi's screw up.

Speaking of forgetting things, Dabi also straight up forgot they had a Nomu because he thanked Twice for reminding him they had a Nomu.

Sir....how the hell do you forget you have a Nomu?

Toga was supposed to get blood from at least three people.  She failed.

Twice had a simple job. Create clones. He succeeded, but the only two he made were Dabi and I refer you to the previous point on how useless they were.

Spinner and Magne’s roles were a diversion. Distract the Wild, Wild Pussycats and give everyone else the opening to find and kidnap Bakugo.

They did pretty well. Up until the point they were almost caught and Kurogiri had to bail them out. Also Spinner lugged the giant, over-the-top blade contraption all the way there only for Deku to destroy it.

However, they do deserve some credit for making probably the best strategic decision of the group that night, and that was taking out Pixie Bob. We saw on the first day of the camp that she was able to hold back a class of twenty students with an army of earth creatures she was simultaneously controlling. That would have been a huge problem, so for the purposes of their team, good on them for removing that obstacle.

Underrated squad members right here.

Mustard was a legitimate threat for same reasons Dabi and his fire was a threat, plus he brought a firearm into the fight. (I want to know what the other villains thought when they saw that.)

But instead of putting him in the center of the fight where he could do some significant harm, they placed him on the outliers and all he did was knock some students unconscious and everybody made a full physical recovery, showcasing the gas he emitted wasn’t all that lethal and didn't cause any long-term complications. (Again, maybe this was Spinner's idea of Stain's ideology on not indiscriminately massacring children. "Guys, I'm telling you! That's fucked up!")

The Nomu (effectively brain dead without orders) did more damage than any of them, which makes the previous point that Dabi forgot they had it even funnier.

And finally, Mr. Compress was missing for half the night and then almost came in clutch by fulfilling their main objective plus extra credit, only to nearly blow it with his showboating. Seriously, they could have gotten away with both Bakugo and Tokoyami had they just booked it while the going was good.

But no, Compress had to make a dramatic production of it. When he first snatched the kids, he could have just left and Deku and company would have had no idea what happened. Had he just kept his mouth shut and left, they wouldn't have known he even existed. Then as the Vanguard members were leaving through the warp gates, he goes and does it again, giving Aoyama enough time to fire at them with his navel laser, something that also could have bee avoided had Dabi just checked the fucking bush!

The Vanguard Action Squad won by sheer dumb luck and their collective incompetence actually succeeding is the most hilarious thing about this arc. In the end, three members of their crew were arrested.  (Although I think everyone was secretly relieved they lost Moonfish.  Even if he was on my side, I’d be actively worried that guy would kill and eat me in my sleep.)

Yet this self-important twerp is smiling like they actually did something to be proud of here.  All Dabi really accomplished personally was grab a marble (coincidentally the correct marble) before Shouto could, which is borderline more standard older sibling behavior than actual villainy. He literally lost two separate fights in one night and called it a win.

This arc was a five episode Scooby-Doo trap going wrong and succeeding.

Seriously, I hope that after the warp gates closed, they all just looked at each other and immediately started calling each other out on everything. Like Dabi slapped Compress upside the head and asked him what he'd been thinking having 'one last bow' before they got away. Spinner yelling at Dabi about how the clones did nothing. And there's Bakugo all, "I can't believe I've been kidnapped by a gaggle of morons."

Fake it till you make it at its finest.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

the club q shooter is not nonbinary!

he is not! he is a cishet homophobic transphobic man! his father is extremely homophobic and was more upset at the possibility of him being gay than him being a mass murderer! he never claimed to be non-binary! on all his social media, it's constant hatred and bigotry against queer people! he goes to a homophobic church! he constantly posts homophobic slurs and hate speech online! his lawyer only claimed he was nonbinary to get the hate crime charges dropped! far right reporters and news sources are more upset at the fake rumor that this guy is nonbinary than they are at the fact that he killed five people in what is supposed to be a safe space!

look at what they're doing. for decades they have been saying the most horrific disgusting shit and using nazi rhetoric to spread hate and incite violence against us. they called us groomers, pedophiles, disease spreaders, all with no proof at all. they will literally make up shit, so we have to spend time and energy proving a made up talking point is incorrect instead of actually progressing. and now we've reached the absolute peak of homophobic and transphobic violence. these people have done everything to inspire the killer apart from giving him the fucking gun. and immediately after the attack, they skipped straight over the "oh, this guy is bad we don't agree with him" bs phase because they already know no one will believe them. they went straight into "well actually those five people deserved to die because that bar was hosting drag show... wait... library reading.... kids dancing... uh... something bad.... like grooming... yeah... there's a poster from that bar that says 'we fuck children Wednesday nights 8-12pm'. no I don't have this poster. you just have to trust me" and all this other stupid pathetic easily disproven bullshit. but the far right actually believe it because they can't listen to anyone else. they decide that this made up evidence is grounds for being murdered, and that somehow makes it okay. but now, they're going to deny they ever said that shit even though it's all online and public forever. they're going back to the "oh this was extremely unjustified and terrible and we don't agree" because now they have a reason to hate the killer. they think he's nonbinary. he isn't. they're going to say this is "queer on queer crime" when it isn't. they're going to say this is an issue specifically isolated to the queer community, when it isn't. they're going to blame all nonbinary people for this attack, when they didn't blame all homophobic people for this attack three days ago. they're going to use this stupid made up evidence as another stupid talking point that will inspire more murderers and more hate crimes. don't believe them. nothing the far right says is true anymore. it's all lies. they want to commit genocide on anyone they don't like.

for your protection and the protection of the entire queer community:

buy a gun and learn to use it. defend yourself and your community

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic Gamzee Makara with human reader pls pls pls im begging... also dunno if it makes any difference in the hcs but the reader is also a mind aspect!

I think I'm going to focus on the human bit as idk if the aspect matters if that's fine? It may be easier but I briefly mentioned/implied you're in the Mind aspect. Either way, would love to write for Gamzee again.

With this concept I didn't make an AU, I tried to keep it close to canon.

Yandere! Gamzee Makara ♑️ with Human! Darling

(Mentioned at times you may be Mind Aspect)

Pairing: Matesprit ❤️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Troll/Human pairing, Manipulation, Stalking, Delusional behavior, Mentioned mass murder/murder, Religious themes/worship yandere, Primarily sober Gamzee, PDA, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship, Forced affection, Blood mention, Sadism, Violence, Social isolation, Swearing.

I feel Gamzee would get along with a human faster than the other trolls.

For example, compared to his Moirail Karkat who dislikes the idea of flushed feelings with humans at first, Gamzee wouldn't mind it too much.

Humans may not understand quadrants all that well, but Gamzee's feelings in this concept are simple enough.

While Karkat is his Moirail, he wouldn't mind trying to make you his Matesprit.

That should be easy to understand, right?

Humans tend to have flushed feelings for each other, you'll figure it out he's sure of it.

Gamzee shouldn't be a yandere that's hard to deal with, when not sober.

When you speak with him or talk to him before he's sober he's actually really nice to be around.

Gamzee probably falls for you by watching your progress through the game and befriending you through the chat client.

He's somewhat invested in your life, enough to feel you mean something to him at least.

When he talks to you and gets to know you he's just so comforting and interested?

You don't have many issues when talking to him.

In fact, some of the other trolls have trouble tearing him away from the screen to speak with you.

It's great to know he's having fun trolling you... but there's other humans to talk to?

In terms of being a yandere it's not shown much when he talks to you.

He acts a bit delusional at times with you but nothing too bad.

You can usually overlook it.

By delusional behavior I mean he acts like the bond between you is closer than it actually is.

He also believes meeting you was fate due to his religion.

You often either get him asking if you're having trouble in your game session or him babbling about someday meeting you.

He's a bit... strange, but he becomes a presence you're used to through your session.

Honestly, by the time you meet Gamzee he may unfortunately be sober in this concept.

The moment you arrive on the meteor with Rose and Dave, you'll meet a Gamzee much different than the one you were speaking to in the chat client.

You were actually sort of excited to meet Gamzee when he talked about his friends and meeting you.

He admittedly hyped it up for you.

But the troll you meet isn't anything like the laid-back and helpful Gamzee you thought you knew.

No, when you meet Gamzee on the meteor, from what you heard he's crazy.

As a result you are no longer excited to meet him.

You choose to stick by Rose and Dave while on the meteor.

Karkat seems to be hesitant when he meets you but you manage to ask him what the hell happened.

According to Karkat, Gamzee was the cause of most of his friend's deaths.

Not only that but Karkat has developed a fear of being watched, especially when he's talking to you.

You ask why talking to you is such an issue...

You're told Gamzee has been obsessive about you ever since you started your session.

Even though you've reached your God-Tier, Gamzee can still be an issue.

He's strong, he's fast, he's insane in many ways.

Talking to Karkat only warns you that you may also be in danger.

Even in the Mind aspect, the stress may cause you to be indecisive and unsure what to do in the situation.

You still need to get used to the whole God-Tier thing like Rose and Dave.

Gamzee, surprisingly, is out of your sight for the most part.

When you roam the meteor he carefully stalks you like a predator.

He's so happy you've managed to make it this far... all with his past instructions.

Gamzee no doubt waits awhile to watch you before coming out of hiding and greeting you.

There's no need to be so scared... it's just him!

Gamzee thought you also wanted to meet him, no?

Damn, what has Karkat told you?

Did he paint him out as a monster?

His Moirail just doesn't understand that this is how things were meant to be....

Even in his more sadistic mindset, Gamzee still treat you as if you're close.

He looks at you with a smile and he's a bit too touchy.

You don't understand his intentions until he actually explains his idea.

You and him were meant to be Matesprits.

By now you'll know what this means.

It disturbs you greatly, especially with Gamzee giggling, singing the proposition in a giddy tone.

He tells you he's been waiting, he confesses he's loved you for awhile now.

You feel trapped when he closes in on you.

You look through your mind and try to find a decision, something to get you out of this.

Your mind draws a blank when Gamzee wraps himself around you.

The purple troll gleefully tells you about his murders, how he was so frustrated at the fact he didn't have you yet.

He tells you how he's felt so alone without you, how he's been wondering when he'll meet his Matesprit.

You fear to go against his wishes.

Sure, being a God-Tier means you may just come back if he kills you.

But Gamzee can't seem to die either?

You're forced to comply with his wishes once he closes in on you.

Gamzee is rough, too.

He kisses you roughly, probably is also the type to bite.

He doesn't care if others see his display of PDA.

What are they going to do if they see? Chastise him?

They've all seen what he's done, he could wipe them out rather quickly.

Plus, PDA just allows Gamzee to show that you're his.

He'd be possessive when sober and doesn't mind displaying the fact you're his Matesprit.

Regular Gamzee is a yandere for cuddles, sober Gamzee also falls into this category.

When Gamzee isn't busy he'll drag his Matesprit to a corner of the meteor and hold you tightly.

The corner is no doubt covered in blood but it doesn't affect the troll.

You, on the other hand, feel ill.

Gamzee is very unpredictable, which may be a reason you struggle picking an outcome with your aspect.

He seems to care deeply for you and Karkat despite his insanity, but he terrifies you.

He could brutally murder someone, be completely splattered in their blood, and run to you claiming it was all for you.

Speaking of which, Gamzee has potential to be a worship yandere.

He treats you like you're a divine gift and worships his Matesprit for that.

His Mirthful Messiahs, his Lord, has rewarded him.

As a result he praises you often and hates to leave your side.

He's frequently seen draped over you in some way, pressing his face into you and giggling like a deranged clown.

You make him happy, his human Matesprit.

Karkat may disapprove a little bit but he doesn't say anything.

If he shows any sort of dislike towards you, if he expresses dislike towards Gamzee's decisions, he could die.

Karkat doesn't HAVE God-Tier, he's only more terrified to be around you.

You can understand, right?

Anyone not a God-Tier has to deal with the equivalent of an angry guard dog threatening to tear their throat out when they talk to you.

As a result you prefer not to talk much to others.

It's hard to be yourself with Gamzee prowling somewhere close, waiting to strike.

Overall, Gamzee loves his human Matesprit no matter the aspect.

He doesn't care if others are scared to be around you or if you feel isolated... you only need him anyways...

You're HIS motherfuckin' Matesprit, HIS ONLY, is that clear?

[sweetmage]

I was talking to my friend about DAI's treatment of Anders the other day and how it drives me INSANE. This game is SO cruel and uncharitable to him! Firstly, the only time we EVER see his manifesto in canon (as far as I know) is in the house of a crazed murderer with a pile of bodies in his basement. Every single mention is placing the blame firmly on his shoulders. I know some people subscribe to the "Varric is distancing himself from their actions for his/their safety" which I subscribe to as well simply for my own sanity, but it does sometimes become hard to swallow when it's been revealed that (assuming you romanced him) he knew where Hawke and Anders were the entire time yet he continues to let others trash Anders while he chimes, etc. And I DO understand and sympathize with Varric in a way, Kirkwall was his home and when the war broke out there was mass death and destruction and he had to leave. Anders did play a role in that, but he only sped up the process, he was not the root cause and they were heading that direction anyway. Also, he saw Meritdith's red lyrium nonsense firsthand, he saw the cruelty that preceded it, and everything she did aligned with what Anders was so concerned about. The Thedas-wide fighting is not "blondie's mess". I originally had my imported Hawke set to "supported Anders" but I had to change it to "didn't support Anders" in my next playthrough because the supportive Hawke straight up calls him a "monster" so I found the alternative to somehow be the lesser of two evils. In the end, I guess that's more accurate to my Hawke anyway because he was upset that Anders went behind his back and didn't tell him first, he would have liked the time to prepare for the aftermath and all that. But yeah, the "I don't know if there ever was an Anders" from a conflicted but still loyal Hawke is easier for me to roll my eyes and ignore than "he wasn't a hero or a monster, maybe he was both" from a supportive Hawke. But ugh, I digress... As for the other main characters, I do understand that none of them knew Anders personally, they only know him from the big action he took with the chantry and nothing more. So I think it makes sense that they don't necessarily have a favorable view of him, some of them seem rather confused if anything. Not to mention a lot of them did not personally endure the circumstances that led Anders to do what he did. But I really would have loved for there to be more NPCs that supported him, especially when DA2 introduced "The Resolutionists" who seem to align pretty damn well with Anders.

And we got a character that supported Loghain which is a 10+ year old topic but not a single one that supported Anders who seems to be a hot-button issue atm? At the very least, I wish there were at least some people that questioned the whole "Anders did this, this is all his fault" narrative (especially once DAI itself revealed that the war did not, in fact, start because of Anders) or at least SOME differing opinions on him?? As far as I can tell, the only person who has been remotely charitable to him is Solas in this conversation (the thing my friend sent me that got me talking about it):

And the only other mention I could find of people that may have supported him is in the Annexing Kirkwall wartable mission where Sebastian mentions "Anders's associates" who he believes might know where he is. But then again, this is coming from the man who wants to march on a city of innocents for to find a man who probably isn't even there so should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

FWIW I now play with the mod that makes Aiding Kirkwall trigger every time because it better aligns with my HCs for Seb and I will never in my life kill Anders so... I actually like Sebastian even though I don't agree with him most of the time. I get his immediate hurt and betrayal at the end of DA2 because he effectively lost his family again, but I'd like to after 3 whole years of being prince he'd have cooled down enough to uhhh... not march on a bunch of innocents??? Which seems very antithetical to his character and development in DA2?? Annexing Kirkwall is silly, so I do not see it. But I digress, this is an Anders post!!

Anyway, I know I am not saying anything that hasn't been said to death by this point. I love each and every DA companion in their own way, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. But I feel like this is less an issue with them and more an issue with how the writers chose to frame the narrative. I do have to wonder if the fact that so many people hated and were averse to Anders made them think that this is what the people wanted. I have quite a few issues with Anders's writing and handling in DA2 as well, don't get me wrong, but at the very least I enjoyed the ability to support him all the way through.

[younglingslayer300]

one of the reasons i hate the sequels, regardless of quality, is the fact that they undermine the original trilogy. i don't think they're very well written, and frankly i like the prequels than the ot anyway, but the main issue is that this is a franchise, and the sequels have neatly undermined everything about that franchise.

some of the other newer content does this for me as well - again, it's not an issue of quality, i don't care how good the new tv shows and books or whatever actually are, but they take away from the basis of star wars! the point, tragic though it was, was that no one from the original jedi order survived, and luke's new jedi order was an entirely fresh start. the sequels are terrible because they make it look like luke failed badly (bad move to undermine the main character of the beginning of all of star wars?? but ok??), and actually someone else has to come along and do his own journey for him (again, moronic thing to do to your original protagonist).

and in terms of other new content - i love lots of new characters, like ahsoka, but at this point it's getting insane. yoda's baby frog cousin survived order 66. this random ginger survived order 66. another padawan survived it. actually whole hosts of padawans survived it. the villain in ahsoka's show was some random guy who survived it. the fucking LIBRARIAN survived order 66, even if she did die a year later. order 66 was the most pathetic failure of a mass murder in the history of fictional mass murders, and while that is kind of funny, it does also make the whole point of star wars stupid. it's a big tragedy that luke is the only jedi left, and while he can start a new order, there's no way to get back thousands of years of living history - except that actually darth vader, one of the most feared villains in fictional history, was pretty incompetent, as was palpatine, the master of the downfall of a thousand year old republic. everyone has survived. luke is whining about nothing. why did he face palpatine alone when he could have called on hordes of force sensitives with as much/more training than him. you're building your wall with material from the ground below it?? has anyone at disney actually watched star wars

and ok, the tv shows are sometimes kind of counter-productive, but not everyone's going to watch those, they're not such a big deal. but to undermine the original trilogy in another trilogy?? to make the original heroes look bad and incompetent in the main films? what's the point of adding to a franchise if you're going to make the basis of the franchise look bad

[melissa-titanium]

OC QUESTION!! :D

which kind of stories do your ocs like? (can be any oc) like, how we read books and watch shows, which kind of stories would your ocs like?

OMG HI AZ. HI HI HI HI fuck ok that is a very good question.

oryx because i've been thinking about him lately... he's a doctor, so very analytical and has similar interests to mel (though he LOATHES that fact.) often reads nonfiction, usually factual things like studies of the brain and soul magic. despite being a physical doctor, he reads a LOT about mental disorders & the like. if you asked him what stories he liked, in terms of fictional ones... he'd probably like something like evangelion. he'd definitely watch house md, and find the medical practices funny. though again, humans don't really exist in this era so house md wouldnt.,... like.,......happen . eva either. but like HYPOTHETICALLY. you know.

mel will read anything and everything. stories, anatomical reference books, automotive mechanic books, pre-koboreal invasion literature, fucking give him a 600 page book on cleaning bathroom floor tiles he Will Read It. he wants to KNOW shit. he fucking HATES movies, but because he's a contrarian there are some instances where he'll watch them. he can't sit still long enough to watch entire hour long movies/episodes etc but if you give him something to do while listening in the bg he'll be set for life. he's ME so he'd watch what i watch, mp100, dunmeshi, murder drones (he would LOVE murder drones. ep 4 would make him hungry for oil, which is dangerous because he works as a mechanic on occasion LOL) you could never get him to admit it but he's probably watched twilight. he's a vampire and he LOVES wolves. (i... don't share this trait. i haven't watched twilight. mel would NEVER watch true crime/horror movies. not because he's scared of them or anything similar, because he much prefers when the violence is actually happening in front of him, ESPECIALLY when he's the one doing it. don't forget he is a mass murderer & a cannibal who enjoys violence.

draco is illiterate. she's not stupid, but she, similarly to me, struggles in investing herself in a story unless she really clicks with it/its characters or story. she probably likes MAKING stories more than reading them, honestly... the issue with that though is that she can't write because of her claws. she's too insecure about her own opinions to think too hard about characters & stories and even MORE so to even share them, but maybe at some point she read with magmivit, & they helped her write! you gotta consider she was living away from civilization with nothing & no one but her freak ass of a mom & crazy bitch dad out in the woods, she never had stories, so she really likes them. she'd much rather cozy up and struggle to read a book than go out and do something on her own, unless the "doing something" involved being useful for others. stories that are more blunt & obvious in their delivery but still handle mature themes would be good for her... atla, mlp, guardians of gahoole would be good for her. i think she'd like warrior cats if it didn't make her sad.

TROUT! manga reader. anime watcher. she's kind of a weeb... DEFINITELY WATCHES RWBY & AMPHIBIA & HOMESTUCK my main inspos for her were ruby, marcy & june after all . haha. she watches eva because of oryx, when your weird adoptive cat uncle/past life recommends you a show you HAVE to watch it. she doesn't *read* a lot, she likes picture books & comics more than big walls of text because of how easily she's bored. action movies would be something she likes. she's museful, but likes to shut her brain off sometimes. not very character-analysis-y, prefers when characters are easy to read & relatable.

THJANK UOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS I LIOVE QUESTINS ABOUT MY; OCS. *DIES

[trickstarbrave]

the biggest problem with skyrim i see people critiquing it not point out isn't just "the writing is shallow"

i mean it is. but a lot of games have overall shallow writing without that being an issue. sometimes you dont need 90 pages of lore for smth. sometimes simple events can spiral out of control into massive problems. the elder scrolls series definitely has a world so complex though that it should have more interesting and detailed writing, but the biggest problem with skyrim isn't that

the problem is video games are not just writing and a setting. there is game play, themes, characters, and often multiple overlapping stories/plot lines in that setting. And all need to work together as cogs in a machine or the whole thing doesn't fucking work right. it's like making a play, and while i almost fucking failed script analysis in college (dont ask), i do understand that, and how different parts of the experience are weighted as a decisions

skyrim is a game that is heavily weighted towards gameplay and exploration of a setting. its primarily a sandbox game. thats all well and good, a lot of my favorite games are. it is a power fantasy that is (supposed to be) about play choice and agency. and almost nothing in the fucking game actually reinforces and works toward it. in fact it often directly contradicts it.

skyrim tries to bring up a number of themes, especially in the main story quest. stuff like morals, power, how to wield power, what actual justice means, and the nature of violence. and it does absolutely fuck all with it. if i as a dragonborn misuse my power at best i will piss off the guards which literally can happen to anyone. most of the time no matter what i do no npc gives a fuck who i am. i can be the thane of every hold in skyrim, most of the population will still be rude assholes to me.

take paarthurnax. we all hate and bemoan the dilemma we are given. either kill dragon grandpa or be locked out of the blades stuff from now on. it seems like such a stupid choice to the point one of the most popular mods is telling delphine "shut up im in charge". but i think, even if its subconscious for most people so they don't even realize it, the reason this choice is so stupid has nothing to do with the fact we like dragon grandpa (or at least not the whole thing), but because the entire empire is built upon horrific war crime after horrific war crime of emperors with dragon souls. tiber septim did absolutely heinous shit on and off the battlefield. he killed innocents. raped. abused. lied. manipulated. and he never really repented, unlike paarthurnax. what does he get? well after a convoluted scheme we learned about back in daggerfall, he gets to be a whole ass fucking god and gets worshipped. there are potentially elves who remember his reign of terror and being ruthlessly slaughtered and removed from their homes, their cities burned and families killed, all out of greed from this motherfucker. and they are the bad guys for opposing his worship. they are portrayed as cartoonishly evil mass murderers, torturers, schemers, etc etc and at no point do we get a genuinely sympathetic take from a thalmor agent where they list out all of his war crimes and horrible shit he did that still effects them to this day, and to top it all off the empire left them to fend for themselves during the fucking oblivion crisis.

so as delphine bemoans all of paarthurnax's war crimes and horrible things he has done, how no amount of repenting can make up for it and he's too dangerous to leave alive and we should kill him Right Now because what if he, even by accident, succumbs to his nature as an Evil Dragon and does horrible things again, she is also actively defending the horrific, much more recent war crimes of other Evil Dragons just in mortal form. if delphine has a point, then so do the thalmor, but they are just cardboard bad guy elf nazis and the empire can do no wrong.

violence is rewarded time and time again, but THESE characters being violent is bad. because. all dragons are evil and able to be corrupted by power, but the player if they decide to be a massive asshole don't really face that much scrutiny besides ultimate gameplay inconvenience. because this is a sandbox power fantasy! you should make your own choices without being punished! but that means the story about power, the cost of violence, justice, and morals, as well as your greater place in the world can have no gameplay weight. and if it has no weight in the most important part of the experience, then it has no fucking weight at all

i could go on and on. like how the dragons are supposedly intelligent creatures with their own language, culture, customs, and morality system but are basically for most of the game about as smart and engaging as the average bear or wolf you encounter on the road outside of 2-3 dragons in heavily scripted, linear conversations during the story, but we'd be here all day.

[sburbian-sage]

I’ve narrowed down the eldritch ‘we can fix the Door for the low low price of murder’ messages to almost definitely horrorterrors, and checked in with my fellow Derse dreamers. Turns out they’ve all gotten that particular offer this session. Now, one of our Scouts is a Derse dreamer. One of the Scouts the voices want whacked. The Scout who cannot partake of the Ultimate Reward if she’s dead, and who is having ‘kys’ beamed into her brain with the Ultimate Reward as a deal-sweetener. Not even pushing the heroic sacrifice angle, just, yeah.

Now, chucking the same message at everything that moves, beyond the point of reason, that has spambot energy. Eldritch spambot doesn’t make sense to me, but NOTHING about this makes sense to me and the closest thing we have to a horrorterror expert in-session is one guy who says they blacked out for a bit, couple sessions back, and found out after the fact that they’d gone grimdark.

I don’t even know what I’m asking, honestly. I’m just confused. And scared about being confused. Like, I know I’m missing SOMETHING, and I dunno how important that something is, or if I SHOULD know what it is, and I think a couple of the others might actually be considering the squid-mandated PK and it’s not like I can stop them both.

Am I just particularly strong-willed, or does it seem like anytime the idea of "do X Horrible Action and instantly win the game" gets suggested, half of the session begins roleplaying as cultists, getting big into human sacrifice? I'm fine with the knowledge that as the most mentally superior replayer it's my job to babysit the mewling masses, but this is in fact the worst time to begin roleplaying as cultists. Hefty corruptive associations.

To nip the foremost issue in the bud, the guys who are putting any amount of credence to the idea that killing the Scouts will fix the Door are heavily panicked and aren't thinking straight. Perform standard stress relief procedures on them, pillow party etc., as well as straight-up haranguing them about how if the Others could fix the door, everyone would be gone by now. Print out an entire book on how much of a dead end this train of thought is and make them eat the pages.

As for your other issue, I'm actually for once hesitant to ask you to look further into this. It is possible to make contact with the Others, usually in the context of negotiating a deal with them, though you could make contact under those pretenses and then ask them why they're initiating the deal. But you'll gain corruption either way unless warded, and if they're acting strange here, they could act strange there. If you ask and they say "ia ia it's not actually us saying that stuff ftagh", that's cool, or you could get confirmation "yes it is us", or they could just deny it or try eating you immediately. In all honesty, can't you just ignore it? They haven't acted directly, it's all been whisperings, and it's been "spammy" so it shouldn't be that convincing. Just imagine you're on Bird App and the haters keep clamoring for your attention with death threats and suicidebait, you know they can't do anything, so disregard the plebians and spite them by not dying or committing sudoku in that one guy's case (not that he could if he wanted to). And just like in Bird App, you can panic once someone does act, but the admins won't give a shit because they're stupid and lazy and want you to die, so simply report back here or something.

[heyheydidjaknow]

ahh another watari hater!!! i’ve been meaning to ask u about ur thoughts on that man. i personally despise him for essentially kidnapping a bunch of kids and then just putting them to work in such traumatizing conditions. what i don’t understand is how he found them all and why he’s doing all this. what r u thoughts?

-nile

Hello Nile, fellow Watari hater! Good for you, fighting the good fight.

Personally I feel like as soon as you churn out more than one terrorist/mass murderer that becomes a parenting issue (though I wouldn’t call what Watari does parenting, exactly). I feel like his actions speak for themselves; even if we don’t count the extra reading material as canon the complete absence of parenting we see him do in the absolutely canon work— mainly just leaving a likely traumatized child do whatever he wants with a computer all day and allow him to get himself involved in all the murder stuff— is, if nothing else, wildly neglectful and only made worse by the fact that he was openly looking for his “son”’s replacement when he stopped working, which he apparently assumed was going to be way earlier than he or the orphanage guy.

I think it’s a Danganronpa situation where it’s just “let’s put a bunch of smart kids together and let them do whatever and see what happens” honestly. I’m sure finding the children would be a bit of a challenge, but child prodigies are usually pretty easy to pick apart from normal kids, luck exists, and in the cases of kids like A and B and probably Mello you can make any kid exceptional if you pressure them enough. Even if you aren’t exceptional being surrounded by a lot of kids who are and are always competing for attention is good motivation to hone your skills. Children seek validation, after all; if you can only get validation by having a letter name and being awesome you change your name and figure something out if you don’t want to be left in the dust. We’ve seen how the kids at Wammy house are encouraged to look up to L; get them young enough and get a good enough example and they make it or break it. Watari’s an inventor first and foremost, after all; it only makes sense for him to apply the scientific method to child rearing.

[yourtigerlily]

jealousy, jealousy

2007. it's a rainy day when Patrick and Richie began something that they are not supposed to. (I am DelilahAndTheUnderdogs on AO3, SISSIBVG on Wattpad, I have another tumblr ff account ELIFANFICTION. This one it's just my PC account) tw: cigarettes, weed, death, verbal abuse, mental health, alcohol, swearing (and getting creative about it), toxic behaviour, blood. it's an AU and Free Form fanfiction, don't like, don't read. dead dove: don't eat.

a necessary author note 

so, ugh, usually I don't post notices/notes for fanfictions.

but this time i do because i want to be sincere with you all.

when i first was intrigued by patrichie, it was in the movies’ universe, especially the first installment of the 2017/2019 two part movies. while with henry and bill i always kind of shipped them in the book too, in the first movie i felt between Patrick and Richie a tension, much more that in the book.

as for Patrick (and Henry tbh), in the book he plays the part as the “evil homosexuals” while Richie (and Eddie) is more like scared and “in the closet” homosexual trope because let's face it: in  the book they are written as children of their time, especially IT was wrote in the 80s and for the most part set in the 50s. 

Patrick is an abusive, who deserves nothing but death, in the books. Richie, in the books, copes with the fact that his mom wanted a girl with his passion with stand up comedy and ventriloquism. the book really touch many dark human sides, that's intriguing yet disturbing, like a lot. i do not recommend reading it during classes at 15. lmao, anyway.

at that time, it was different: expressing emotions, toxic masculinity and unhealthy standards in society (and Beverly faced this issue greatly, for the pressure to fit conventionally beauty standards and what meant to be a girl, set by a machist society — i mean, Eddie’s mom in the book doesn't like the fact that his son is friends with a girl, who she think is a slut, just because Be befriended boys) and racism, most of them are racist, the Bower's Gang predominantly and are loud about that, because it was accepted and normalized (hopefully today it's less but racism is still here) and people like Eddie's mom (still her lmao) thought it was disgusting to be friends’ with a black kid like Mike which honestly is the most pure and innocent kid on earth yet people cannot get pass on his skin colour. 

in conclusion, this is an AU but disturbing things will be there, though. i set it in the early 00s which was not the brightest time in our society, or its highlight because let's face it: I was a  pre-teen in the early 00s, so many traumas for me, and it's really long to fully unpack. here we are: me channeling my experiences through those characters which are really distant yet i can relate the most (Richie in particular).

enjoy this journey with me ~

weight is on my back

September 1st, 2007

A jet-black, straight haired boy was smoking a Malboro, in Derry Middle School's empty parking lot. Patrick Hockstetter was fazed, headphones on, Teenagers by My Chemical Romance playing. Derry was still sleeping. He looked eerily calm, on the verge of mass murdering, it seemed. It was not the case but not that far from truth, most days. He was simply angry. He wanted to scream, his voice stuck in his guts. His unhappiness was in his veins.

And there he was, Richard Tozier. A chihuahua trying to imitate a bulldog, Patrick thought. 

His blue eyes wandered on Richard's face. Why is he so magnetic for? 

He repressed himself. Suddenly, Henry greeted him with his annoying voice: «what’s up, fag?» He hated that word with a passion. He could not go against Henry because yes, his voice might be annoying but he's physically aggressive. Who isn't calling people with that word, meaning it as a slur? It's 2007, not many things changed from the 90s. He was born in 1991 and was four in 1995, when, fun fact, Richard was born. He remembers things, from that time. He doesn't want to, honestly. His dad beating him up senseless. Or finding himself killing his brother. 

He shooed away these thoughts, in the distant part of his brain. When Patrick was still distracted, he acknowledged Richard Tozier, nicknamed by many students (and teachers) Trashmouth.

Richard was awkward and talkative at the same time. Richard watched SNL way to much since he memorized by heart Bill Harder’s repertoire. especially, Vinny Vedecci and his italian gibberish.

Trashmouth reminded him Harry Potter, mostly the body size, the glasses and the talk-back attitude.

His cigarette was slowly burning in his right hand while looking at the short boy, absentmindedly.

«Let’s go» said Patrick, slapping Henry’s thigh «Nelson, first period, right?» said Belch «can we just skip classes? a smoke a joint?» then asked.

Patrick replied: «why not» while eyeing Henry, seeking his approval.

Every student went to their class. The courtyard went creepily silent. They moved around the building and Patrick went straight to his favourite spot, the gym. The other three did not care were he was, they went downtown, all together. 

The rain started to pour down ferociously, a growing mud smell went to Patrick nostrils. Something dangerous this way comes, he thought. He saw Richard standing there, behind the brown wall, under the gym canopy. He was smoking a cigarette and when the shorter guy saw Patrick, panicked a: «Oh fucking shit, not you» trying to run away. Patrick bloocked him under his body and shushed his mouth with his wide chalk-like hands. 

Patrick was dead serious when he whispered: «Now, Richard, shut the fuck up or I'll will kill you.» he made a brief pause, checking if the other three boys followed him but no, the were not there «or I can spare you from humiliation. There are Henry, Belch and Vic with me. You must not make a sound. Understand?» Trashmouth nodded, eagerly. «Or I swear to that fucking God, you'll never see the light again.» Patrick felt dizzy for a moment. Richard's heat was overwhelming. He removed his hand from the shorter boy's mouth and he distanced his boy for few inches.

«You are fucking insane, you know that, right Hockstetter?» said Richard with a glim in his eyes. 

«I know, Tozier» said the older one, lighting his joint «and you know that you are not safe with me, right?»

«Call me Richie» the curly haired one said, still smoking «and I don't care, honestly. If you want to excuse me, Hockstetter, can we make this important discussion in the gym?» 

They both tossed away whatever they were smoking and Patrick broke into the structure with Richie. The latter took Patrick's hand and he dragged him into the locker room. 

«Kiss me» said Richie, straightforward.

Patrick satisfied his request with an enormous pleasure: he put his lips on Richie's and began to devour him in seconds. Hands were traveling on almost naked bodies and Patrick realised that he was into Richie and his mischievous yet magmatic gaze, all this time. He tighten his huge hands on the other boy's curly hair while still deeply kissing him, tounge and all. 

HE'S MINE, MINE, MINE, FINALLY MINE, NOT EDDIE'S BUT MINE, his brain frantically shouted. 

«We should go back» said Patrick between his breath.

«Yeah, I think so» replied Richie, stealing another kiss. 

Their faces were still red when they dressed themselves. «Where have you been, Mr. Hockstetter?» said Mrs Orson when Patrick sat down. «I left my lunch at home, Ma’am» he lied. Mrs Orson wanted to believe him and she did. Patrick didn't know what to think when he came back to class, as confused as he was yet wanted more. Richie wrong-feet him. Big time. That feeling was new and dangerous. 

Anyway, Patrick always liked the taste of blood, after all. 

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: April 2024

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of April 2024 to make sure that they are never forgotten.  

Walking murder boner the Israeli Defence Force started the month killing seven foreign aid workers when blowing up three aid trucks, yet the best that Avi Hyman could offer when pressed on how the IDF saw three clearly marked aid vans in the safe zone and still bombed them (and not at the same time) was the usual guff of "B-b-b-but Hamas narrative!" while denying there is the risk of famine in Gaza and how apparently it's justified to bomb aid trucks if you spout the usual guff about Hamas hiding in aid trucks (yet have no proof of this ever happening) while calling it a "mistake" which might work for one truck but not three, while David Mencer decided the best course of action was to accuse anyone reporting the facts of siding with Hamas over Israel yet when asked to provide evidence to support his claims had nothing to offer at all

...meanwhile bonehead messiah Tommy Robinson showed just why he is the biggest patriot who ever patrioted in a patriotic manner by calling the three British aid workers killed in the premeditated attack "cucks", because nothing screams patriotism like defending the country that killed three of your countrymen and suggesting that they deserved what happened to them

...and why was fascist pitbull Suella Braverman in Israel shortly afterwards, considering she is a backbencher so would not have been there in any official capacity, nor (at the time of typing) did she declare the reason for being there in the Register of Interests

...and then along comes Maureen Lipman to do the unthinkable and not announce she is quitting the Labour Party (which is a first) but accuse those protesting against Israel of being close to fascism, and in the same interview said it was fine for white colonisers to own Rhodesia because they put in the effort to take the land by force

...though spare a thought for Eylon Levy as he is not telling his sacking as spokesman (due to lying too badly for even the Israeli government to put up with him) well, judging by him apparently setting up a conference room in his basement to continue issuing press conferences justifying ethnic cleansing from

...all while Gideon Falter was turning up to a pro-Palestine march with a camera crew and his bodyguards in tow to film him trying to cross the road when the march was coming through and then immediately run crying to the police officer nearby, and as the officer told him to do one this suddenly has Planet Zionism demanding the head of Metropolitan Police commissioner Mark Rowley...although this seemed to quieten down significantly when footage of Falter repeatedly trying the exact same stunt for at least an hour emerged, though not before he tried to justify his actions by suggesting the Metropolitan Police would never wrongly arrest a black man when, a.) Falter was not wrongfully arrested and, b.) The Metropolitan Police prefer to shoot black suspects instead of wrongfully arrest them

...all while Itamar Ben-Gvir was talking about freeing up space in Israeli jails by executing Palestinian prisoners en masse. Can't think why there was so little sympathy for him when he was injured after his car ran a red light and he wasn't wearing a seatbelt...

...meanwhile, unifying force for good Keir Starmer claimed that he never said that Israel had the right to cut off power and water to Gaza - except for the minor issue that he absolutely did say that, and in the days afterwards those sentiments were stated by Emily Thornberry, Lisa Nandy and David Lammy in various TV studios, yet for some strange reason none were disciplined for implying that The Great Leader suggested that Israel had the right to cut off power and water to Gaza considering he never said that

...all while Columbia University showed their dedication to their students' freedom of speech by calling the riot police on their sit-in - though both Ohio University and Indiana University somehow managed to top that by posting snipers on campus, because it seems the Kent State Massacre is something they want a repeat of

Militant TERF JK Rowling had quite the Twitter meltdown at Scotland's new hate laws which bring Scotland in line with most European counties by seeking to protect the trans community from vicious little bigots such as...well, militant TERF JK Rowling, who at this point must be aware that her Twitter rants have far more readers than her shitty detective novels do

...so of course Rishi Sunak blurted out a word salad in support of Rowling, because at this point all that he has in his locker is one culture war bandwagon after another

...and then Holocaust denier JK Rowling unleashed the lawyers on Rivkah Brown for describing Holocaust-denying JK Rowling a Holocaust denier, because what better look is there is unleashing the lawyers on somebody for daring to suggest a Holocaust denier had denied the Holocaust or, for that matter, ever looked up what the Streisand Effect is?

As if billionaire manchild Elon Musk hasn't spent the past eighteen months demonstrating how off his rocker he is getting, he's now modifying Twitter's code to remove users from listing their preferred pronouns in their bio

...swiftly followed by billionaire manchild Elon Musk announcing the Tesla Robotaxi would be endangering pedestrians from 8th August. Hmm, I wonder if there is any particular reason why that number just so happened to pop into his head...?

...that would be the billionaire manchild Elon Musk who is so in favour of FREEZE PEACH that, for some strange reason, anyone dumb enough to buy a Clustertruck tweeting videos of how utterly busted the thing is are for some reason having the media disabled, which I'm sure can't be the owner of the platform silencing critics...

...as opposed to what billionaire manchild Elon Musk also did in his spare time, which is run the ErmnMusk account which mainly consisted of dickriding billionaire manchild Elon Musk or posting some really creepy shit, all of which came out in a deposition which for some reason Musk was really trying to bury

Quite the fascism from Ben Habib saying Britain should just let migrants drown in the channel - to the point that Julia Hartley-Brewer, who was interviewing Habib at the time, pushed back against his comments

Antisemitism expert Rachel Riley showed just how clever she is by claiming the Sydney attack was carried out by Muslims - and when it emerged that was so far from the case the only way she could have come to that conclusion is because she's utterly deranged - and when it was undeniable that it was not a Muslim attack, she tried to conflate the attacker with pro-Palestinian marches based on no evidence whatsoever - and her "apology" when her various comments blew up was the usual cowardice of claiming "You just didn't understand me!" as if there was any form of nuance whatsoever to what she posted

Waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage sure didn't look happy when the NatC conference in Brussels was shut down by local police, which is strange given he was all for sovereignty back in 2016

...while fascist pitbull Suella Braverman swiftly legged it out of the building, neglecting to answer questions about whether she cleared flying to Belgium to speak at an event staged by Viktor Orban with the likes of Farage

Somebody at the Conservative Party thought that signing off on a campaign telling people not to talk down Britain was a good idea just weeks after the Tories put out an attack ad claiming London is the worst crime hotspot on the planet. And that's before the ad's numerous errors were pointed out, started by using images of The King and Christopher Nolan without their permission, a photo of the England team yet no Scottish or Welsh sports represented at all, no women featured at all, an image of a Canadian-owned and Saudi funded Aston Martin, a Eurofighter (do I even need to say why that's an error?), and a ship which was (deep breath) built in Korea, is registered in Panama, and owned by a Swiss company which was founded in Italy

...but this is the same Conservative Party who printed off leaflets which nobody would realise are to elect Susan Hall as mayor of London as they scream about Sadiq Khan introducing cost-per-mile charging for roads (which is false) and only have a QR code which is blatant data scraping - almost as if they don't want to publicly admit that Hall is their mayoral candidate

It turns out that Amazon decided to try and make western civilisation that little bit more dystopian than we initially realised with their Just Walk Out shops, as it turned out that they weren't fully-automated and actually relied on a bunch of sub-minimum wage workers based in India calculating people's shopping bills by scrutinising video footage of what they were putting in their baskets

Genius political operator William Wragg not only posted dick pics to Grindr, but when it emerged that was a honeytrap operation he followed up by leaking the private phone numbers of several Tory MPs to those operating the honey trap - and to prove he wasn't a security risk, the photo for his Times interview had him sat in front of a board with his WiFi password written on it

...and then Mark Menzies decided to make Wragg look like an amateur when his scandal emerged (as scandal which the Tories had been sitting on for three months) which involved him using campaign funds to pay back an advisor who Menzies called at 3am begging for money to pay off the rent boys who were holding him hostage, and somehow getting somebody's dog drunk also fit in there somehow

Those lovely people at News UK proved just how not guilty they are of phone hacking by offering Hugh Grant a huge sum of damages in his case - knowing full well that if Grant took the claim to court and was awarded a penny less than the damages that were offered, he would be on the hook for News UK's legal bills so instead chose to settle in order to keep Rupert Murdoch out of court

I'm not sure what possessed Kristi Noem to mention in her book how she once shot her 18-month old puppy because it was annoying her, but now we all know that Kristi Noem thought the best course of action with a puppy that is annoying her is to blow its brains out. Gee, I hope nobody made her their VP pick...

Barking MP Margaret Hodge gave an interview talking about the antisemitic abuse that Luciana Berger endured from Jeremy Corbyn supporters all while Luciana Berger was stood next to her knowing full well this was an abject lie - as did John Pienaar who was giving the so-called interview, yet he too seemed to show no interest in correcting the record

...though it wasn't long before Luciana Berger was quick to jump on demanding Mark Rowley resign because of the perceived first example of racism towards a minority in Metropolitan Police history and demanding Mark Rowley resign immediately, without Hodge standing next to her doing all the talking

Brilliant look from James Daly when point blank asked what crimes Angela Rayner had committed in selling a house that she owned and he said that he had no idea, considering it was James Daly who reported Rayner to the police for selling a house which she owned as we endure weeks of the Daily Mail insisting on making this a story - though it's telling that Laura Kuenssberg got very shirty with John O'Farrell when he suggested that she was pushing Mail gossip on her own show

...and why the Tories keep sending out Grant Schapps to do the media rounds to try and keep this non-story in the public eye begs so many questions, what with his various false names such as Sebastian Fox, Michael Green and Corinne Stockheath being so well-known that they're on his Wikipedia page

The increasingly deranged Susan Hall hit upon a potential vote-winner when she said that, when she becomes Mayor of London, free school meals for primary school children would be stopped as they have to work for them - and then a week later she pretended she never said that, as if video clips of her saying exactly that at a mayoral hustings event didn't exist

Nice job of CM Punk making WrestleMania Week all about himself when he went on Ariel Helwani's show and gave his version of events of his backstage fight with Jack Perry at All In last year where he said it was everybody's fault but his - until AEW aired the footage a few days later which demonstrated Punk was talking out of his ass

...not that I'm going to give AEW a pass on airing the footage on Dynamite after building it up for several days, mind, because while AEW did have a right to reply to Punk outright lying their TV show is not the place to do so, and they would have been better served releasing it as part of a podcast

I'm sure that Andrew Tate tweeting about how kissing a woman is "gay" or having sex without procreation is "gay" has absolutely nothing to do with the date of his rape trial being scheduled to start...well look at that! It's scheduled for less than a week after he started tweeting how a man having any form of sexual contact with a woman is "gay", so therefore he can't be a rapist because that would mean he's "gay" when everybody knows that Andrew Tate is such a manly man at the height of his manliness...

I am worried that Marjorie Taylor Greene actually believes the gibberish she insisted on posting about earthquakes and eclipses being God sending a sign for people to repent and not what they actually were, which was a sign for the Aztecs to rise up and sacrifice stupid people to appease the genepool

Absolutely nothing weird about Deck Nine sneaking Nazi symbols into Life is Strange: True Colours, as per IGN's investigation, and especially nothing weird about their CCO Zak Garriss being a creepy weirdo to Deck Nine's female employees - but hey, the Deck Nine response said "diverse" an almost comical amount of times, so maybe everything's okay after all

Not-a-racist Jim Cornette continued to show what a not-racist he is with a thumbnail for his podcast featuring Swerve Strickland and noted non-racist Jim Cornette mocked up to look like a gorilla, which is definitely not racist as it's a reference to Mighty Joe Young and there's nothing about the plot of that film that sounds remotely racist. Oh, and for some reason there's an angry cotton bud in the thumbnail too, though we haven't heard which film that's a reference to in order to once again prove that Jim Cornette is most certainly not in any way racist

...though quite why Adam Pearce thought it would be a good idea to cosplay as Cornette on Raw a few nights later is anyone's guess - mainly as he went on a mass blocking spree of people who called him out for it on Twitter

Unironic boomer humorist Jerry Seinfeld has decided that, as the Western world realised he isn't funny then it's obviously the fault of spaghetti carbonara "woke leftists" ruining comedy and definitely not the fact that his act is painfully unfunny and he needed Larry David to write a grossly overrated sitcom for anyone to know who Jerry Seinfeld even is

Walking irrelevance Liz Truss somehow didn't get the hint that when the advance for her book about her time in Downing Street was £1500 and that there is no audiobook of it planned, maybe stop wittering as if she is remotely important - especially as half the time you can see Steve Bannon's hand operating her mouth

Welp, it looks like Mark Kern has decided he's the main character of GamerGate II - though that mainly consists of blurting out the same nonsensical collection of letters as every other grifter, though he has put his own stamp on things by complaining about Stellar Blade getting decent reviews after convincing his followers that it would get pasted by critics because of the spaghetti carbonara agenda, which is totally normal behaviour...

Well look at that! Once again WWE has decided that it's time to rewrite history in their favour...but the slight issue is that New Japan and AEW are still going concerns and have fans who actively know they're talking crap, especially when Cody Rhodes popped up in an interview trying to suggest that he gets sole credit for basically everything about All In and the formation of AEW while also getting oddly defensive about a comment Toni Storm made in a presser that didn't refer to him at all

It was the turn of Chris Philp to show that Tories really don't understand geography, as his appearance on Question Time is best remembered for him not knowing the difference between Rwanda and Republic of the Congo...which is a bit of an issue given he was talking about the Tories' Rwanda plan at the time

And finally there's registered sex offender Donald Trump only going and undermining years of "Sleepy Joe" jibed towards Joe Biden by dozing off in the dock on the first day of his trial - though he also demonstrated what a weasel he is by trying to make out his rights were being infringed as he was unable to attend Barron's high school graduation in spite, a.) He graduates on a day when court isn't in session and, b.) It soon emerged that he didn't show up to a single graduation of any of his other kids

[malicemuffin]

Okay finally civil war talk time. Well, in order to talk about the civil war we need to talk about--

Of the five who started the Celestial grouping as a whole:

Vega did it because she loved humanity

Altair did it because he loved Vega

Canopus did it to see if it was even possible

Sirius did it for power because he was tired of the Divines interfering with his life

Betelgeux did it for revenge

Betelgeux would be a villain if it wasn't for the fact that Divines exist. She was the first female celestial in 500 years* and was born in a poorer area where the Divines had a heavy presence. She only survived because of dumb luck, a fact that she greatly resents. Her family and village were wiped out in the search for her though, and she will never forgive the Divines (or anyone else) for this having happened.

She wanted to be a threat that could not be ignored, and started mass killing people/villages of importance to Divines. She started her life in Spain but began to move around that general area of Europe, tearing a bloody path of vengeance against people who had done nothing to deserve it.

It's theorized by historians in-story that Betelgeux was even more violent and cruel than necessary because she felt like she needed to be in order to be taken seriously as a woman. Betelgeux (who by hasn't died yet and is around 500 years old at the time the story takes place**) certainly doesn't say anything about it.

This caught the attention of the Divines, who started to increase their control of their areas and begin the mass killing of Celestials in earnest. Betelgeux in turn also turned up her amount of murder. Sometimes she would try and attack the Divines but was always outmatched. During this time period, Betelgeux grew to be incredibly strong-- it's thought that she might be the most powerful Celestial in all of history. Betelgeux's only response is that every human death made her stronger, but many Celestials are in doubt (and even if they believe her, they wouldn't agree with doing such a thing).

After a hundred years or so of bloody war, there were more female Celestials in existence. One of them was Vega, a Chinese Celestial. She was a very clever person who wanted to end the rein of terror the Divines were unleashing on the world, and decided to team up with other Celestials. Her husband, the Celestial Altair, teamed up with her.

They both heard about Betelgeux, who was considered a monster by both humans, Celestials, and Divines alike. In the end, they decided to try and reason with Betelgeux-- she was a completely awful person, but she was also powerful and it would be much easier to stop the Divines with someone like her on their side. Additionally, Vega's plan of "let the human population grow to bolster our numbers and burden the Divines" might convince Betelgeux to stop her constant warmongering.

Surprisingly, this worked!

Blah blah blah, Celestials started to fight back.

Sirius ended up getting the killing blow on Neptune, much to Betelgeux's disgust. But she was overall pretty happy with the situation and calmed down. For a time, she was even starting to think that her methods were wrong and was content with letting other stars make the decisions-- as long as she kept killing Divines and could live life on her own terms, she would be happy.

Cut to present day.

Only one other Divine has died, and it led to massive issues for territory and shards. Betelgeux feels that they let the human population get way out of hand and that there either needs to be a drastic reduction of humanity to keep the shard issue in control. She also is angry-- she joined up with other Celestials for revenge, but now it feels like Celestials exist to serve humans and not the other way around. Her life has become even busier than ever (she has the largest territory to patrol in comparison to every other Celestial) and she no longer believes that Vega knows what's best.

To Betelgeux, the best thing to do is to start over. She wants to take control of the Celestial global group herself and sack Vega. The rest of her Orion constellation is in agreement, all of them save Bellatrix who defected.

The only reason Betelgeux has not begun the Civil war in earnest is because she is very busy with Jupiter who keeps encroaching on her territory. The last thing Betelgeux wants to do is to leave, conquer the Celestials, and then come back to her own lands having a filthy Divine governing it-- it would be a great insult. For now she's pretending to be pacified with "peace talks" and negotiations, but everyone and their mother knows that she's just biding her time until she's in a good spot to start the war in earnest.

Vega meanwhile is aware of Betelgeux's traitorous ways but does not want to wage war against her-- it would be horrifically costly and would just end with a ton of dead Celestials. She also absolutely does not want to mass kill people because. She's. She's kind of not into that, you know?

Vega is going to be a divisive character I think, because as a person she is kind of horrible but a lot of it is due to the stress put on her. She's dealing with a mass death of Celestials which gets exponentially worse every time one dies because that means their resources get stretched thinner, a war against planets, a bloody civil war on the horizon, and the recent death of her wife. This means she takes out a lot of her pain and stress on people around her. I think internally she is trying to be a good person, but externally she's going to come across as abusive. It's going to be a hard line to write with her but I'm hoping she can come across as nuanced. If you step back and look at her actions you'll see someone who is heroic, if you step forward you will see a person you never want to meet.

ANYWAYS civil war celestial stuff talk done for now.

--

*Stars like to copy each other sometimes when choosing their forms, so sometimes that means they all pick one gender, there was a time when almost all Celestials were located in China, etc.

**Celestials aren't immortal but they can't die by aging-- in fact, they stop physically aging in between their twenties and thirties. Most Celestials don't live very long, maybe reaching 60 years of age at best, but some of them like Rasalhague can be over three thousand years old. The oldest known Celestial is Methuselah whose age is unknown (possibly twenty thousand years) and is thought to have only ever reincarnated once in their entire lifetime.

[x-ceirios-x]

City of Ashes, Chapter 12: The Hostility of Dreams

please see the masterlist for notes about this series/collection of works

-

It turned out Magnus and Jace weren’t leaving after all; Magnus wanted to spend a few more hours at the house to make sure that Maia and Luke were recovering as expected. After a few minutes of awkward conversation with a bored Magnus while Jace, sitting on Luke’s piano bench and industriously studying some sheet music, ignored her, Clary decided to go to bed early. 

But sleep didn’t come. She could hear Jace’s soft piano playing through the walls, but that wasn’t what was keeping her awake. She was thinking of simon, leaving for a house that no longer felt like home to him, of the despair in jace’s voice as he said I want to hate you, and of magnus, not telling jace the truth: that Alec did not want jace to know about his relationship because he was still in love with him. She thought of the satisfaction it would have brought magnus to say the words out loud, to acknowledge what the truth was, and the fact that he hadn’t said them—had let Alec go on lying and pretending—because that was what Alec wanted, and magnus cared about alec enough to give them that. Maybe it was true what the Seelie queen had said, after all: Love made you a liar. 

There was a soft knock on her door—for a split second, Clary wished it was Simon, come back to let her apologize for everything and spend the night with her. She wasn’t even interested in any of the boyfriend-girlfriend stuff, she just wanted to relax with her best friend. Because that’s what he was first. They were always friends first. Another part of her wished it was Jace, though she banished those thoughts immediately. She could still hear his piano-playing, anyway. It wasn’t him. 

“Come in,” she said with a sigh, sitting up a bit in bed. To her surprise, Rowan stood at the door, awkwardly looking at their feet. “Need something?” she asked, misdirected frustration in her voice. 

They looked at her for a second, eyebrows raised, before shaking their head. “Heard some fighting. Wanted to see if you were alright.”

She looked at them strangely—why would Rowan, of all people, care about that? Maybe they were just nosy? She didn’t take them as the type to get needlessly involved in drama, though. They were more like Alec in that sense, but then again, they also seemed like the type to not get wrapped up in their own world. Alec seemed to be particularly focused on his own problems lately—not that she blamed him. 

“Fine,” she said with a sigh. They stared for a moment, then nodded, and were about to leave when she spoke up again. “Actually, no, I’m not fine. Can you…” She trailed off, actually not sure what she wanted from them. 

They closed the door instead of walking past it, then joined her on the bed. They sat against the wall, legs curled up to their chest. Like this, they looked kinda…small. No where near what she looked like, she was sure, but she’d never thought of Rowan as small. Despite their quiet and reserved nature, they had a strong presence. Not one she could describe, though—not that she knew them all that well yet, anyway. 

Clary ran her hand through her hair. “I don’t know what to do. Nothing I say around Jace is right, nothing I say to Simon is enough to make him feel better, now Luke’s hurt—”

“And your world is falling to pieces in front of you, right?” they said, a wry chuckle escaping their lips. “I don't mean to make fun of you. I mean…I get it. That was my life until pretty recently. Actually, it still kinda is. Your issues took precedence, though.”

She frowned. Her issues weren’t exactly her fault. They must have noticed her reaction, because they added, “not like I’m complaining. I’d rather deal with mass-murders and the death of the shadow world as we know it than my personal issues.”

That made her laugh. Despite all of it, Rowan managed to make her laugh, even if it was a little squeak of shock at their words. “What personal issues does a Shadowhunter have to deal with?” she asked, half teasing. “You guys look so…perfect. It’s annoying.”

This time, Rowan laughed. “Trust me, the only person anywhere near perfect out of all of us is Jace, and it’s infuriating. Even he’s got his problems, though.”

She nodded as they spoke, letting the room fall into a comfortable quiet. She didn’t think she’d be so comfortable alone with Rowan—they always seemed so off-putting that she didn’t know what to say to them. However, out of badass-shadowhunter-mode, she found that they were rather relaxed. Or, at least, so they appeared. She could see behind their eyes there were several trains of thought all competing for priority; she wondered what all they were thinking about. 

Her eyes drifted to their hands, resting on their knees, spinning a ring on their middle finger. It was gold and had tiny diamonds through the two twisting lines. It was dainty and pretty–in short, it looked like the complete opposite of what she thought they’d wear. They seemed like they’d be a silver person, maybe black jewelry, too. “What’s that?” she asked curiously, taking their own advice, whether they meant it like that or not. Deal with someone else’s problems instead of her own for a while. 

They looked up and slid the ring off of their finger, holding it out for her to take. She did, and upon inspection, noticed a small engraving inside. SEPT • 3 • 1989. A date of some kind. “My mother’s engagement ring,” they said, watching her look at the ring. She handed it back and they slid it on their hand. “Dad let me have it. I don’t have much from her, including remembering things, but it’s nice to keep around.”

Clary nodded. She knew full well what not knowing things about your parents felt like. Before she found out about the shadow world, she was under the impression that her father died before she was born and she had very few things to hold onto him. Now, she knew better, but that feeling that stayed there for fifteen years still mattered to her. “What’s the date?” she asked. 

“Their anniversary, I think. I was a great late anniversary present,” they said sarcastically. 

She could tell they were in a tough situation—she remembered Jensen telling her their dad was in Idris, and she gathered their mom wasn’t around anymore. Knowing the shadow world the way it was, she assumed she was dead. It probably wasn’t a good idea to ask. 

“Is your birthday soon?” she asked, thinking about the phrase. September 3rd just passed, and if they were a bit later, it had to be soon. It was already mid September. 

They nodded. “You could say that,” they muttered, twisting the ring on their finger. “It’s actually today.”

They laughed awkwardly, but she couldn’t believe her ears. Despite the small family she’d concocted, birthdays were always important to her growing up. Her sixteenth birthday was supposed to be full of an all-expense-paid (by Luke) arcade trip for her and Simon before everything happened. The fact they hadn’t mentioned their birthday beforehand was simply wrong. She would have done something—did Isabelle and Alec do anything? Jace? Maybe even the boys back at the Institute? 

“I can hear you thinking,” they said, shaking their head with a small smile. Apparently, they saw her wide eyes. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t celebrate.”

She frowned at that. “How do you not celebrate your birthday? Simon started planning his birthday back in April. He’s next month, by the way.”

They scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”

Clary sat up a little, crawling a little closer to them on the bed. “What’s ridiculous is you not celebrating your birthday. When Luke feels better, we’re going out to lunch.”

They rolled their eyes at her, though she watched them smile as they looked down. “We don’t have to do lunch, it’s just a birthday.”

She grabbed their arm and shook it gently, shaking them in the process. They went along with it, which she was happy for. “I’m going to get you something and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

If asked, she would swear she saw them blush, however, they’d vehemently deny it. After a moment, she settled down, still laughing a little at her own actions. Yeah, maybe it wasn’t exactly mature, but she was having fun with her friend. At least, she considered them friends by now. After they helped her in the graveyard without reason, helping get her back to Luke’s when she passed out, she thought they were friends. And based on the way they relaxed when it was just the two of them, she guessed they felt the same. 

“Can I give you a birthday hug, at least?” she asked. “I don’t have anything else for you.”

Rowan paused—they looked somewhere between shocked and disgusted that she’d asked, but there was something else behind it. She didn’t think they were actually offended by the request, just…surprised. After a moment, they nodded and extended their arm. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around their middle, squeezing tightly. To her surprise, they reciprocated and they weren’t awkward or tense. Their arms wrapped around her shoulders and they let out a deep breath it seemed like they’d been holding in for a while. Clary wondered the last time they’d had a hug like that. 

They seemed like they didn’t want to let go when she pulled away, but she could only sit forward like that for so long. She didn’t have the core muscles of a shadowhunter—apparently those weren’t genetic. She noticed the smile on their face, though—they looked soft like that. She didn’t see them smile often, let alone in such a gentle way. 

“Happy?” they asked, inching forward to stand up from the bed. “I should probably be heading back.”

She nodded in reply. “You can stay, y’know. I can get you a sleeping bag, you’re welcome to stay here.”

They shook their head, brushing their hand through their hair a few times. Each time, it only got messier. “Honestly—I wanna get Alec home.”

The realization dawned on her and she nodded. After his outburst (mostly directed at Jace) concerning his relationship with Magnus, it wasn’t a very good idea for him to sulk by himself. She wasn’t happy to think about the real world outside her bedroom at Luke’s—things were better when all that mattered, for a few minutes, was the fact that Rowan didn’t celebrate their birthday. When that was their biggest issue. 

But it wasn’t. They had a world of monsters and villains to deal with, responsibilities to attend to, and problems to be had outside the green walls. She felt a little safer knowing that Rowan was watching her back, though, despite their rocky start. They gave her a little wave as they left the room, closing the door behind them. She wondered if Luke had heard them laughing together and wondered if he’d be happy, even proud. She had a friend outside of Simon? She could hear him asking and laughing now. But on top of that, she seemed to have found a way to melt the icy, cold exterior Rowan put up when they felt threatened, and she was proud of herself for it.

-

[carolinemillerbooks]

New Post has been published on Books by Caroline Miller

New Post has been published on https://www.booksbycarolinemiller.com/musings/the-outer-limits-of-democracy/

The Outer Limits Of Democracy

The man had fallen near an electrified rail of a Chicago subway.  Unconscious, he lay convulsing on the bare track. People on the platform above looked down, stunned.  A few whipped out their cell phones to record the incident. One African American, Anthony Perry, age twenty, made a different choice. He leaped onto the track, avoiding the hotline, and saved the unconscious man. That evening the media blazed with reports of his heroism. If members of Congress had a quarter of his courage and selflessness, our democracy would be less endangered. To be specific, we have a Republican Party that lacks a moral compass, showing, instead, a marked propensity for criminal intent.  Fearing the National Rifle Association, (NRA) for too long, our weak-kneed leaders have been willing to witness the mass murder of children and innocent bystanders rather than pass meaningful gun regulations. Only recently, embarrassed by the blood running in our streets, have a few Republicans joined with Democrats to propose modest reforms. Now they expect the public to applaud though they’ve done nothing to keep assault rifles off the streets and allowed a stronger House bill to languish. Congress’s fear to tackle the assault rifle issue is puzzling. Most voters want meaningful gun regulation. A few might fall back upon the shibboleth of state rights, but it’s a bogus excuse. Have we learned nothing from the public’s long skirmish with the cigarette industry? Commerce that flows from coast to coast doesn’t respond to patchwork regulations. That job belongs to the federal government. Sadly, reason, logic, and courage have no purchase when they conflict with vested interests. Republican Liz Cheney’s values are an exception. Her participation in the House Select Committee investigation of the January 6 insurrection may end her political career, but she chose to do what was right for the country. Look for no similar moral compass from Fox news reporters.  They refused to cover the hearing though it proved our former president, Donald Trump, not only encouraged the January 6 insurrection but instigated it with a 7-point plan. The newscasters justified their blackout believing  that few cared about the facts. Dereliction of duty has become the new norm in our democracy. Moral outrage is common.  Moral behavior is in short supply.  Too many assume corruption has little effect upon freedom. The assumption is false and marks the end of its existence.  Pity those who live long enough to see the fruits of this corruption. In truth, each of us is culpable. To mistake freedom for self-indulgence is dangerous. Many of us are willing to turn a blind eye to corruption if it serves our purpose.  Sometimes, we knowingly elect criminals if they do our bidding. The rising tide of self-interest makes fools of us all. Like harlots, we give our affection to those who pander to our ambitions. Politicians who pretend difficult problems like the rising tide of inflation are easily fixed are liars. No ready solution exists because the causes–the supply chain problem the pandemic created. and the Ukraine war– are beyond the control of a single nation. If we wish to recover our economy, we must close our ears to siren songs. We must stop playing Russian roulette between the political parties at each election as if change for the sake of change made a difference.       Twenty million Americans watched the House Select Committee’s first report on the January 6 insurrection.  “Twenty million!”  The headlines shout as if that number were extraordinary. Yet, we are a nation of 329.5 million. Where were the remaining 300 million during the hearing? How many among that number still believe the 2020 election was rigged? As voters, too often we mistake our self-interest for freedom, preferring quick response strategies to long-term solutions.  Like the children of the marshmallow experiment, we prefer a dollar in our pocket today to $10  at the end of the year. But the freedom to pursue personal happiness is a fragment of the whole. Our primary obligation isn’t to ourselves.  Our obligation is to each other. Without social cohesion, we live in a jungle of individual appetites–a place where no one would dream of leaping across an electrified subway line to save the life of another. As citizens of this democracy, we must be wary. Without a moral compass, we will soon reach the outer limits of our democracy. John F. Kennedy pointed us in the right direction decades ago.  Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.  Have we listened? We still have time to save our nation. We can begin by voting a Democratic ticket up and down the November ballot.

[zapsoda]

Eridan Ampora Did Nothing Wrong Ever, in His or Anyone Else's Life (or Death): an Assertation; a Manifesto

So, let's begin by compiling the claims most commonly leveled against him.

incel

hemoist

murderer

These are the claims I wish to contest, starting with "incel."

First, let's define the term "incel."

- from urbandictionary, a most reliable source

For Eridan to be an incel, he must

be self delusional/"egoistic" (based?)

pretend to be a nice guy

"blames others for his deprivation of sex or romantic relationship"

be "unable to find a romantic partner or thinks is deprived of sex by other guys called CHAD [sic]"

and optionally,

have stereotypes for others

become a mass murderer

So Eridan is known for his romantic troubles, it is one of the larger struggles he contends with throughout the comic, beginning with Vriska, a possible ex-kismesis, blocking him. Quickly following this, he is broken up with by Feferi, for whom he is down bad astronomically.

Throughout the comic, he seems to make advances towards many of the other characters, though not at random. He's certainly desperate, but he always has some sort of basis for where he thinks the chemistry is coming from.

Now, to address the qualities of an incel in regards to Eridan.

It's hard to define self delusional and egoistic, but I would say, as he is 13 years old during this time, it is to be expected that he would be.

At no point does Eridan pretend to be nice, if anything he pretends to be an asshole, but we'll go into that further in the hemoism section. He wears his dickheadedness on his sleeve, as demonstrated particularly well in any scene wherein he antagonizes Sollux, a truly admirable trait.

He does not blame others for his romantic failures, Eridan has been shown to be quite insecure and down on himself.

When rejected, he tends to put the blame on himself and doesn't lash out in return, as "nice guys" have been known to. In fact, the closest he comes to doing this is in a conversation with Feferi, and he promptly apologizes for it.

I will give you, Eridan notably is unable to find a romantic partner, however he never seeks to blame this issue on Chads or otherwise desirable men who are simply taking all the ladies (and fellas).

As for the optional qualities, Eridan does appear to display murderous tendencies, although despite his supposed hemoism, he does not seem to stereotype lowbloods.

In total, Eridan displays 2 out of the 4 necessary qualities to be declared a nice guy, and 4 out of 6 of the total qualities, notably lacking those that are most important for this classification.

Consider the incel claim debunked.

Next, we move on to the hemoism claims.

Now, if you're reading this, I expect you know of the hemospectrum within the comic Homestuck. If not, I have sincerely no clue how you are still here. Godspeed, I suppose.

Anyways, as you should know, Alternia has a strict blood caste which the trolls are expected to adhere to, whether they agree with it or not. The highbloods tend to be more ardent about its enforcement, as it benefits them, while the lowbloods are more lenient. This, of course, can not apply to anywhere near all of the lowbloods or highbloods. What, you think we can simply generalize two groups as large as they are? No, you don't. You are a respectable contemporary.

Equius is a good troll to look to for how the hemospectrum is expected to be treated, as an avid supporter of the caste system (for the most part, it's complicated).

(I ran out of room for images, so this must be continued in a reblog. Or separate post? I'm not exactly sure how this garbage fucking website works.)