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lightdancer1 · 5 months

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Now that I think about it:

It really is striking given everything with that one episode that there's no plotline where Tara accidentally kills off her love interest with that blindness spell early in Season 5 and Glory steamrolls everyone because the big gun went missing. It's basically one of this 'so this is how we done fucked up, don't do that shit' storylines that's seemingly begging to be written and.....nobody actually has. It'd be a perfect knife twist and it's not like the Scoobies would let Tara just leave with her obviously evil family even after that because they'd not want to lose someone ELSE after it.

So what does happen if they have to go through the Glory arc but there's no Willow (especially twistedly funny given later seasons if the Powers That Be cough her up again at the start of the equivalent of Season 6)? Would the butterfly effect mean she'd even brain-suck Tara, which was a pretty clear bit of her power boost that made her as formidable? If that never happens and they just use the hammer sooner, does anyone actually have to die?

I can also see if the PTB did decide 'oh wait, no, this one DOES have a destiny and she needs to get on with it' that a resurrected Willow after all that would be in the usual situation most of the 'Tara comes back' fics go of having entirely valid trust issues and having the 'wait HOW much time happened oh holy God WHAT is Glory and wow' reactions to a normal year on the Hellmouth.

Canon-wise Willow's an unkillable, fanfic exists precisely to do what canon wouldn't. And ultimately Tara was, after all, meant to be the replacement goldfish for Willow's old niche, so one can very easily see the Scoobies acting at a meta-level like that and creating something of the same dysfunction from a different route because she is very much NOT Willow in any of the ways that define her. She has a rigidly defined sense of ethics, she gets a backbone that has a more consistent sense of 'happens to me bad, happens to you because I'm traumatized nobody ever remembers it for the rest of anything ever'.

It would also be a suitably ironic knife twist given the 'big gun' thing that the very expectations here that set up the ultimate Dark Lord Rosenberg thing never happening lead to the Gang winning because Buffy beats the shit out of Glory with a magic hammer when she never gets her mitts on Tara because there's no Willow for her to argue with that one day and the butterfly effects are big, she never dies....and then the PTB have Willow turn right back up in the Magic shop alive, well, and utterly ocnfused at the end of the equivalent of that season going "What the Hell was that."

I would admittedly have the Dark Willow thing happen anyway as a result of overcompensating for realizing she was killed as result of relying on someone else's wisdom with magic and it's more Dark Lord Rosenberg, as I mentioned, rather than its canon aspect and Tara gets to be the replacement Willow and it does not spark joy while Willow in turn quite reasonably has major trust and communication issues and doubles and triples down on increasingly powerful magic sans magic crack analogy until she's full-scale Dark Phoenix and people belatedly have the 'oh shit we probably should have tried talking before now' reaction.

This may well end up the one other Buffyverse fic I write, though I'd basically breeze through the rest of Season 5 in the first chapter from Tara's POV and then at the tail end Willow comes back and the hilarity ensues.

Then again it's also equally possible for Willow to simply go 'nah, fuck magic, magic killed me, y'all already got a witch, computers it is' and then the Hellmouth Hellmouths and her destiny won't be denied and the paranoia of living on the place makes her take the same path while actually struggling against it when she gets a Monkey's Paw version of her own desire to be the big damn hero, but to be able to do that she has to be able to reach the power to do so and since she is who she is, it's impossible to have the power to abruptly start being capable of making reality do what you want without it going to her head.

And given that she did at least seem to be easily replaceable (with Willow and Tara equally unreliable narrators and the truth not quite matching up with what either of them think here and the two narrative POVs here) Dark Lord Rosenberg gets to be as much a case of venting that she in a sense was the replaceable sidekick on a television show and not a main character.

Almost every other canon possibility here has done this and having 'the person I love cannot see the demon for who she is' and then 'wait, she died, I didn't mean that' because the magic misfires a little harder in a laser-guided fashion and having Tara meet her intended niche a little harder than otherwise is....surprisingly under-used.

#willow rosenberg #tara maclay #buffyverse fanfic #ideas to be written #basically 'Tara does an oopsie and has to fill someone else's shoes and realizes how unpleasant that actually is'#Willow comes back at the start of Season 6 because the PTB need her to resurrect magic and she's golden until she does #this sparks even less joy as there WAS an intended resurrection spell and it failed because she was already alive #and thus everything turns into an equally glorious trainwreck from a completely opposite angle #meanwhile Tara's basically haunted with guilt as she was never a demon but boy did she FUBAR that one spell #also leads to an inversion of usual dynamics because she *really* doesn't do damage control well #and Willow might either be very interested or very indifferent or deciding to ring up Oz and fuck off from Sunnydale entirely #if she was an actual human instead of a character it'd be the third I think #but since she's a character in a story and indifference is more wounding than malice indifference it is #I freely admit that season 9 leaves me considering the irony that Willow gets to be the chosen one once #and utterly hates it and everything about it and this is where her arc actually ends up #why does she hate it when it actually gets to be her for a change?#LBR ol' girl didn't do well with substituting for being the person driving events #she would handle being the one that actually has to do it by repeatedly trying to skip out on destiny #the irony would not be lost on her in the bigger picture but at the time Buffy would probably be 'so what's the big deal here'

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eddielala · 4 years

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Okay, I won’t sleep.

Here’s my goddamn summary and explanation of the meta. Because I have to say it.

1. They cut the ‘I love you’ scene . You know why? It was a hint that this episode won’t be about them.

2. We don’t know how long Dean was in the bunker and cried. We do know he didn’t pick up the phone the first time Sam called.

3. Dean arrives with the Impala. You can see he’s broken. And I really mean fucking goddamn broken. Jensen acted it very well and in character. He looks to the ground, he tries not to cry, his eyes flutter. He doesn’t realize what Jack and Sam are saying, you literally can see him thinking. Cas told him he loves him and died, that’s not easy to handle. Not for Dean, who’s still unsure about his sexuality.

4. “He saved me”. Well, he didn’t say ‘he loves me’. But ‘he saved me’ is the exact same thing for Dean, because he’s the man who doesn’t deserve to be saved. Saving him was Cas’ love confession and with telling Sam and Jack about it, he said ‘he loves me’. And come on, Dean talking about feelings would be out of character. We see a drunk Dean sleeping between beer bottles, that’s enough.

5. The dog is Cas. Not in person, but it’s kind of an incarnation. The angel with the puppy eyes, loyal, brave. Dean sees Cas in it and that’s the reason he falls in love with ‘Miracle’. He dies because of god and the moment of joy is over. Btw in the end you can see the dog again. Sooo, maybe Cas is on his way?

6. Adam is dead. It was only Michael and Adams body. And after Michael is killed Adam is gone forever. Maybe it’s a message because the fans always made fun that the writers and the boys forgot their brother. Now he’s gone.

7. The Cas call scene. You can see the desperate in Deans eyes. I already saw some posts about it and they were on point. The moment of hope in Deans eyes when he hears Cas’ voice, he jumps off and runs upstairs. That’s love btw. He wants so bad that it’s Cas, even he knows it’s nearly impossible.

8. Lucifers comeback. Maybe fan service? Mark was a brillant Lucifer. And we have the situation of the archenemies again: Lucifer and Michael, both with daddy issues. One last fight. And, surprise, Luci dies. The “good” one wins. Luci is now in the empty again... isn’t he? But I think his death is permanently. They wanted to solve the problem with the whole ‘in SPN nobody stays dead’ thing. But dunno, I didn’t look up the cast for next week’s episode.

9. The reaper. Well, I was in shock when she showed up. I really thought it’s Cas in a female vessel but it was just a reaper. Luci kills her, here’s new death. Well, they needed someone to open up the goddamn book. Wasn’t very exciting. And she was dead as fast as she was alive. I think the writers didn’t know how to open up the book otherwise.

10. The plan. What a rush. And how could god not know it? He’s omniscient? Hm... well, I think the most important scene was the one when Dean asks god to bring Cas back. The anger in his eyes, mixed with desperation. He would kill his brother, but Cas has to live. That’s character development, you can’t tell me otherwise. And that’s also plot development.

11. Michael’s death. Kill off and gone. Well, I think they had to get rid of him. But he died through the hands of his loved father. Could be a hint that daddy issues have to be solved and shows that Chuck is a goddamn son of a bitch.

12. Jack. Oh, he’s an adult now! I think it was the best what could happen to our baby. He always felt not strong enough and now he’s god. That’s a promotion! It was a good decision: Jack was not controlled by his feelings - sure he had bad days, but his wisdom was greater than god’s actually. The reason is that he’s half an angel. And he’s half an human. God made the angels the image and likeness of himself but he wasn’t satisfied by the result. So he created humanity the same way. Jack is a combination out of god’s objective, destructive side and god’s loving, emotional side. And both sides were always in balance, and that’s the reason he could be a energy - how did they call it - sucking hole without getting destroyed by gods and Amaras power. Because these powers need balance and Jack could give it to them.

13. God. God’s an asshole. And we know he represents the writers of Supernatural. When Chuck beats the shit out of Dean and Sam it’s actually a message: The writers harmed them so many times, the whole series is a fucking drama. It represents how they dealt with them, they send them to hell and back so many times. They tortured them, broke their hearts. That’s the last time the writers harm them so much. Because they - Chuck - looses his powers. Dean and Sam take over the situation. Dean and Sam represented and influenced by Jensen and Jared. And by the fans. The writers aren’t able to change them anymore. They are what we want them to be. Because they don’t have the power anymore.

14. The book. We see the white pages of the book. God can’t see what’s written there. The pages are blank. This means the writers are finished. They don’t have something to say anymore. The story got told and there’s nothing what follows. The pages are white and ready for stories from other people. Fanfics, fanarts, and so on. Chuck, the writers, tell us there’s nothing left to say. It’s over.

15. Dean doesn’t kill god. Chuck provokes Dean to kill him and Dean says to him, that’s not who he is. You remember Cas said it this to him, right. It’s not a love confession but something like this. He finally accepts who he is and that he has feelings and not only a raised killing machine. He accepts himself. Maybe that’s a good sign for the next episode.

16. Jack disappears. I know he’s family but for real: he found his happiness being a god. He will change the world. I already said why he’s perfect for this job. And his disappearance is... well, gives me a comfortable feeling. He’s in peace and he found his mission of life. And you can’t tell me he didn’t bring back Eileen and the others. We don’t know if he can bring back Cas out of the empty. But I think he would bring Cas back if he could. Maybe he couldn’t and the story gets told in the last episode. However, Jack did a great job.

17. The ending. Yeah, what did we expect? They already told us with the season’s posters that it’s about Sam and Dean. And only them. And I can understand why Dean seems to be happy there. They literally saved the goddamn world again. But I don’t think it’s only this. They are free now. That means they can become what they want - what the fans want because the writers lost their power. And maybe that’s a hint on Destiel being confirmed by Dean in the next episode. And they’re driving with the Impala but we don’t know where they will go. Hmm... and maybe Dean smiled because he had hope again? Hope to save his... boyfriend?! Don’t know, but he’s able to do it now.

So, maybe I’m too romantic but that’s what I think. I think we see Cas again and that they will be together. I don’t know and I don’t think we will get a love confession from Dean (I know, sad. I thought we get it). But I think there’s hope. Maybe - that’s only a theory - they don’t want to make it completely canon because they argue that the end should offer enough possibilities for the fans to write and draw and so on. I would be pissed if that’s the argument, I mean queerbaiting is real but we don’t know.

I don’t find an answer in the confusing statements of the actors and the crew. Misha said he’s not in this episodes, but he was on set. It’s canon, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate? What the hell? It’s a mess and they have to clean it up for the fans. They said it won’t be a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending and hell yes, I don’t want that. It would suck. Also they said the ending would make 30% of the fans happy - maybe that’s us. We’ll see.

Edit: Btw I wrote it before, I think it’s true that Cas gets more attention in the last episode because of the fact it’s the series finale. Cas wasn’t just part of the season and we know it was the season finale, he’s part of the whole series for years. So why not bring him back for the series finale?

#dean winchester #deancas #destiel #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean x castiel #spn spoilers

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followedbyraven · 4 years

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A journey into God’s mind

Chuck’s motivation in obsessively writing the same end - is what has been on my mind in quite a while. So far he is a megalomaniac villain with no proper cause. And for the love of everything a villain without a motive is of not interest to me.

As a long time fanfic writer I don’t understand Chuck’s bullheaded insistence with “brother killing brother” and end-of-the-world themes. When my characters happen to say a resound “NO!” to what my sick brain is cooking, I listen to them, this is my subconscious letting me know that I’m about to make a really wrong move. And then I do my best to find a solution, which may be not necessary as dramatic, but nevertheless satisfying.

So I said to myself: “Let’s find us a motive!” and embarked on a journey.

So basically to understand my theory of Chuck’s obsession first I have to explain a bit about the particular bit of “Lucifer” TV show which gave me an idea. I doubt many people don’t know this show, but just in case, bear with me. It’s a show dealing with Biblical lore and main character is the Lucifer himself (although much less boring, than in SPN). He is funny, adorable and with a bucket full of issues. And yes, he also can be terrifying!

In episode 2x12 “Love Handles” the villain of the episode and the long arc is a professor, who, when finding himself in a burning car, saved his dissertation and not a student driving it. This act made him an outcast and he eventually proceeded to blackmail successful people, putting them in a morally black and white scenarios: their life’s foundation (face of a movie star, hands of a chirurg) versus someones life. All for the quest to prove (as much to people around as to himself) that he couldn't be blamed for what happened. That the choice he made was a right one.

And here I see a clear parallel with SPN, maybe a crazy one but in my mind it fits perfectly.

Professor saved his dissertation by sacrificing a student. So he became obsessed with proving that he did the right thing. It was the work of his life after all.

Chuck in order to create his lifework, the Universe, sacrificed his sister, The Darkness.

Professor was aiming at famous people, prominent figures, heroes we may call them to bring parallel to SPN (from star actor to renowned chirurg, whose hands saved many lives). All to prove that he was right in his choice. Chuck chose heroes, siblings, nurtured them, build them up, and then let them kill each other (I’m sure that Cain’s dilemma came directly from under Chuck’s pen). So he is obsessed to prove to himself, subconsciously most of all, that locking for the end of time, losing his sister, to save/create his masterpiece, his life work, was a right thing to do.

This is his perfect tragedy, dramatic exit - to be left alone, without his sibling, by his own hand, surrounded by what was at that moment the most important thing in his mind, his Creation. And Chuck repeats this scenario over, and over, and over again, stuck in his disability to understand that this idea comes from his own dirty deed, his own ego, his own choice. To prove to himself first and foremost that his masterpiece is more important than his family, that he was right in locking Amara.

It’s a perfect mirror of his own choices, and he bends fates of others to meet this obsessive scenario, so his brain (or whatever he uses for one) can process the enormity of his one single action, which was the point of creation, of light for the Universe, and the moment of perfect darkness for the Creator himself.

So he was left alone with his creations, and at first, the novelty of it was enough, the new voices demanding his attention were enough. As long as he could forget about the fate of his sister. And for a short time that nagging voice in his head became just a whisper.

In time he reached his ceiling as Creator by making humanity, his masterpiece, and managed to keep the insistent whisper away a bit longer.

But inevitably Chuck got bored, lost interest, cause he, as many other supernatural beings, doesn’t see humanity as equal. He couldn’t see that he truly created something amazing, not only in his image, but also in his spirit (and in madness, we’re just much better at dealing with it). There was a phrase in one of the episodes that even angels don’t really understand what human SOULS are. It always left me wondering.

So as I was saying, chuck got bored, the whisper (locked Amara, his guilty consciousness) become louder, and that is when his true madness, his obsession with idea of siblings killing each other as the perfect tragedy, the perfect end of the story began. He plays it in different ways to prove to himself that this is the only natural, true end for any great story, the perfect justification for his reasons, that it was the only way.

What interesting is, that “Lucifer’s” professor says: “Choice is an illusion” and kills himself.

Just like Chuck connects the perfect end of his “choice is an illusion” dance with the end of his creation.

He started on this road while Amara was still under lock, and I don’t think that Winchesters would be the last of heroes Chuck played with if only they followed the script. Until they freed Amara, bringing in his mind the story to its perfect end. In his twisted mind there can be only one choice: Amara or his masterpiece. And with Amara freed he started unraveling his life’s work, for there may be only one or another.

We can say that making humans in his (and Amara’s) image was the first unconscious step on the road to perfect tragedy. And I’m not talking about human bodies, I’m talking about our very souls. Human souls begin as bright as light of the creation. I’m speculating here, but as any true artist Chuck imbedded his perfect creation with the tiny bitty pieces of himself. The difference is that light can be tarnished, darkened, and remind Chuck too much or Amara, his locked sister. And thus the Hell was created, where those tarnished souls were sent, away from his sight, in order for Chuck to continue his existence in ignorance. So he banishes those souls to Hell, locks them away. Just. Like. Amara. Another mirror on a bigger scale.

Why then not a perfect mirror, why not brother and sister, why two brothers? Here I’m going even deeper into speculating. Two sisters - may be too much of Amara reminder. He has to first build them up, give them power, luck, make them into heroes. That’s a tad too much of a girl’s power for Chuck. He sees Amara as oppressive force to start with and I doubt he is willing to go down that road. Intimidation would be too much and Chuck can barely deal with two stubborn Winchesters, he doesn’t need to add psychological pressure for good measure. Brother and sister? That’s really awfully too close to home for his liking, it can't stay in subconscious anymore and would force him to take a good hard look at himself.

Another point of interest - why Dean? Why through all obviously written by Chuck situations, it’s Dean who most often comes to the point when flow of events demand from him killing Sam. Down to the point of making Dean invincible when he was marked with the Mark of Cain, so it is he who eventually was supposed to do the deed.

What I think is that Chuck identifies strongly with Dean. Not so much as them being similar, more - Chuck wants to be Dean, have that level of courage, endurance and inner strength of spirit.

That is why he wants specifically Dean to perform his, Chuck’s part of the scenario. There is a lot of admiration, which falls in line with the level of anger when Dean keeps disappointing Chuck by refusing to play by his rules, continuously steps off the script.

There is a mirror to that too in earlier seasons. Metatron vs Castiel. I’m sure it’s a kind of old news and many metas have been written about it. I just wanted to connect it one more time to the rest of my musings about Chuck.

Metatron was also strongly identifying himself with Cas for all the same reasons. And he also wanted Cas to play the villain of the story at the same time trying on Cas's trench coat and posing in front of the mirror. Metatron understands that Castiel is not a villain, but he so desperately wants Cas to be one. The fallen hero. In that aspect Gadreel played the reflection of Castiel perfectly. The difference is - Castiel doesn’t want to be either, hero or villain (he learned the price of that the hard way), he just does what he thinks is right. Gadreel wanted to be again a hero, wanted to climb back on pedestal, no matter the cost.

Same with Chuck and Dean, mirroring Chuck making himself very, very comfortable in the bunker, the Dean's true domain, his home.

Both Chuck now and Metatron then are trying to make their chosen ones follow the written by them script.

I would almost call it a foreshadowing (if then unintentional, who knows, maybe writers thought back to season which was it, 9? and thought: oh, but that would fit nicely with s15 arc), despite so many seasons between these two story lines.

This is it, the journey into God’s mind complete. Hope you N-joyed.

@verobatto-angelxhunter

#Chuck meta #spn chuck #Supernatural meta #dean winchester #Castiel

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whatkindofnameisella · 4 years

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2,4,6,8

ok first of all going to cry bc i wrote this out in a very long and non-succinct way and accidentally hit the back button on my mouse and it. all got deleted. and im writing this again. but here we go.

2. What do you do to understand the characters better and get into their head space?

i think this depends on the kind of fic! i do one of two: for moment-specific fics, i rewatch the clip. and rewatch it again. and again. and then rewatch it and get all of the dialogue and voice inflections down. and then rewatch it and look at all the space BETWEEN the words and analyze that. that’s really more on the understanding side than the headspace side, but it’s pretty helpful to me!

for any fic (even the moment-specific ones bc if ur just writing down what u see on the screen its like. just go watch the show why are you reading this.) i will literally just imagine the table & liam and laura (+ any other ppl) & their body language & voices (an important one for me! bc i am pretty aurally inclined which is a blessing but also a curse when you’ve been watching something with a specific accent all day and then u start writing and its like why does this sound like scottish in my brain). it’s super useful when i don’t know what comes next, as ill just pretend like what im writing is a cannon moment and think, “okay, what would they say next?” i try to strike the balance between “this is fanfic i do what i want” and “would they actually do this if this was in an episode?” and if it strays too far from the later i rewrite it into something more simple or less direct, instead directing that emotion im trying to convey into the space between the dialogue/action (as seen above when i am analyzing actual episode clips, aha do you see the pattern). i like keeping somewhat close to possible cannon.

anyways this is long because i am incapable of being concise and like expanding on things oh well

4. How does your writing happen? Do you visualize scenes playing out in your head, or do they come out in words as you type?

ok. as i am typing this for the second time i have had even MORE time to think about this question which curveballs on you the more you think about it. i think my process boils down to a really solid visualization of the scene & a strong sense of what the characters are feeling, which my brain then boils down into sentences & to which my aforementioned aural brain goes hey this is going to Sound Like This with This Specific Rhythm, good luck finding some words that fit to it.

i think like anyone i do really have to have some sort of verbal plan going in, like A Scene or A Sentence that i am building to, or else i just end up really frustrated. i find that my fics that are all just built on some visual scene are harder to get out of my brain and onto the page, which is why an idea will usually float around for a day or two before my brain will go ‘hey look at this sentence’ and ill say OKAY YES I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE THAT and i try to start writing something just so i can write that one thing (although Buttercups is an exception to this. a brilliant, miraculous exception).

6. When you write emotional scenes, do you feel what the characters are feeling?

this is a toughie. in some ways i do, but it’s not in the more plot related stuff, or things like... crying, per se? the more i write the more i’ve figured out it’s all just projection and meta and yourself in one big pot, so i think a lot of the emotional arcs i write come from my own experiences/emotions. of course, not to the t, because i don’t have such intense self loathing as caleb, or am not currently falling in love! but like. caleb noticing the flowers and sun so specifically in Buttercups was me missing spring in January, jester finding joy in being clumsy in Viscaria is something i’m figuring out & trying to embrace more myself as i go through life, the rib bursting feeling in pretty much all of my fics is just from those every day little experiences i have of that, finding something beautiful and feeling fulfilled, just redirected for a different context. i think i feel what the characters are feeling in that way.

8. What are three things you’re proudest of when it comes to your writing? Dialogue, descriptions, humour, romantic fluff, kisses, action, pacing, worldbuilding, setting, anything! Even small things like sentence structures and the way your characters banter counts!

oh jeez. i think i’m good at writing all of that in between stuff mentioned above, those little descriptions in between the dialogue or in between what the characters are doing, really using those to show the implications behind what is being said and done and how that’s affecting the character. i also think i’m pretty good at building to an emotional climax within each little fic, though most of the time it’s rather unintentional - that rhythm and plot (???) combined to have that moment of oh. that moment of revelation for the character. and lastly... i think i have quite perfected that knife that is caleb pining. for now at least. i’ve learned how to twist it real good.

thank u for the qs! ask and u shall receive very long answers that i will accidentally delete and have to rewrite again.

#this ended up taking me way too long it is now quarter till midnight oh no #jadesabre301

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mrsgreenworld · 5 years

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“Hi. Glad you could finally make it”

So, this is the end. The End. Time to take stock of the last 8 years, 8 seasons. Although I wasn’t an active viewer the first two years and I discovered the fandom only after Season 2 finale. So, I have had a really close relationship with Arrow for 6 years.

I remember Season 2 finale vividly. It was 2014, my last year at the university. I was supposed to put finishing touches to my thesis paper, get all my credits and prepare for my final exams. So I hadn’t watched the whole episode. But I decided to watch the YouTube clips from 2x23. And I absolutely exploded! I ran to watch the whole episode asap. And still couldn’t believe my eyes. I was overwhelmed and swept off my feet. I don’t know how but I managed to pass all my exams, defend my paper and say goodbye to being a student. And then I stumbled upon a series of Olicity videos. While I don’t remember the creator of the videos (which is, honestly, unforgivable) I do remember that the inspiration for it was a meta on How Oliver Queen fell in love with Felicity Smoak by amazing @jbuffyangel She was the reason I got an account here, on Tumblr. Through her I got to know what fandom was. I discovered fanfiction. Jen became my North Star, my guiding light. Her reviews got me through not only Arrow’s lowest points but some of the lowest points in my life. Then Jen joined forces with @callistawolf in their @watchover-podcast and just like that I had another North Star showing me the way through some very thick Arrow bullshit. Jen and Calli helped me get through every hiatus. I looked forward to every new season and every new episode, I speculated, I smiled, I laughed, I cried, I screamed and squealed with joy, I also screamed in anger and frustration, I cursed, I wanted to throw things at my laptop screen and at Oliver’s head sometimes... Then I just read Jen’s review or listened to Jen & Calli’s podcast and everything became... okay. And I am not just talking about Arrow. I managed to get through some tough and devastating moments in my life because of the said reviews and podcast. Because of the fandom. Because of all fanfic writers and their works. I read tons of fics, then started writing my own which was HUGE for me. I had never had the guts to share any of my writing before. And then I just ... did it. And although I haven’t been an active fandom member, more like a quiet reader/listener/viewer and an occasional fic writer, I still felt a little less lonely, still felt like I belonged, like I had a place here, with Arrow, with all the people sharing the same love for this imperfectly perfect show.

This may be the end. Everything in our lives and our lives themselves are bound to end at some point. But nothing and no one will ever be able to take away what Arrow has given me. What it has taught me. Knowing that, being sure of that I can say goodbye. I can be at peace with the way Arrow ended. It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t fair that Oliver and Felicity had to sacrifice so much. But in the end it was perfect. Because it was just the two of them. They aren’t really dead. And everyone else is going to be okay. And this acceptance of the finale, this understanding, me being at peace I owe to Jen & Calli and their @watchover-podcast I will never be able to thank you enough for that.

There isn’t much left to say. Only there still kinda is. But I am not sure I can stay coherent much longer. Because everything is still raw. And it’s a working day and I am supposed to do some actual work. But instead I am a mess. I am feeling all the feelings, I am crying every 15 minutes or so, I have so many thoughts that they are driving me nuts. But I cannot grasp even one of those thoughts and this long word vomit is a testament to that. However, despite all of that I can say with certainty that I Do Know Two Things. First is that I will keep Arrow, Olicity and this fandom in my heart. Forever.

And the second thing? It Was Red

#arrow #arrow finale #olicity #olicity forever #arrow forever #i will keep you in my heart #it was red #we found ourselves in each other #we have all the time in the world

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peacockbluey · 5 years

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How did you and Cully meet? Do you want to share the story? I've been around forever but always from the sidelines, but you two have always been cute.

Of course! I'm happy to share! Thanks for asking, Anon!

So the short version is this: we met on Tumblr.

The long version, as you might imagine, is a bit more complicated. We met on Tumblr, yes, when Cully came back from a few years' hiatus out of the Boosh fandom. We interacted on a post and instantly liked each other. I recognized their name, having read their stories and loved them. They read through my entire meta tag in, like, a day. (Seriously, I woke up one morning to about 30 notifications. I beamed. This incredibly smart and cool person, this great writer, liked my stuff??? Incredible!) We started writing messages back and forth on Tumblr fanmail, which was a thing that existed back then, before there was a messaging feature. It was trash, but it had no word limit, which made it the perfect vehicle for shouting fic ideas at each other and building on them--which turned, very naturally, into writing together. Which we started doing a lot.

Somewhere along the line, without either of us planning or even realizing it, we started to breathlessly wait for responses for each other and be filled with joy when there was a notification for a new installment. We wrote together every day. We felt inexplicably devastated when Noel's initial plans for NYC shows were cancelled and we wouldn't be able to meet in person. We spent an entire summer pining over each other and angsting to our friends and unsure of whether we were just good friends or there was something more, each convinced the other was WAY too cool to be interested and completely out of our league. It took us an entire summer of that, something out of the most ridiculous oblivious slow-burn fanfic, before Cully got up the courage to actually tell me they liked me that way and for me to reply OH GOD ME TOO.

A month after that, we were dating exclusively. Five months after that, we met in person for the first time and saw An Evening with Noel Fielding together. (Twice!) There were a lot of Megabus rides and airplane flights and endless, endless text messages and IMs, creating a million alternate fictional worlds. Almost exactly three years after we started dating, we moved in together.

Now it has nearly been four years together, and we live in an apartment with a potted plant in a macrame holder and all the colors of the rainbow. We're one of those ridiculous domestic couples shopping in Trader Joe's, and sometimes we talk about things like mattresses and blenders. We cook together and sing together, spontaneously harmonizing. We want to get a cat. This weekend, we're going to Pride together for the very first time. It still sometimes feels like a beautiful daydream, like we're getting away with something somehow, getting to live with the best person in the universe.

So... hey, thank goodness for Tumblr, right? Sometimes good things--great things--actually do happen there.

#about me #plus our ship name can be 'cluey'#the great saga of cully and bluey's move

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almaasi · 7 years

Text

Here’s a handy post with ALL 15 of the Destiel fics I posted this year!! (Total word count for the year: 366,181.)

2017 has been a year of drama, demisexual Cas, and dogs. (Seriously, a LOT of dogs.) Wow, I did awesome - and I think my personal health journey is well-reflected in the topics, from depression recovery and weirdness in January to fluff and smut in the last months of the year.

I hope you enjoy reading these even more than I enjoyed writing them ♥

✦ Mostly In Silence · 4k · G · hurt-comfort + depression recovery

Dean returns home to the bunker, only to find Castiel is lost in a deep depression. Taking their cues from the night sky (perhaps holding hands, perhaps sharing their first kiss), Dean helps Castiel rediscover a small but shining sense of hope.

✦ Lucid Nightmare · 10k · T · basically weird meta about fanfic AUs

there’s fire in this city // sirens, ghosts, and earthquakes // one night, you protect me // and we run until dawn breaks //

Or:

A spooky, fluffy, mind-warping existential-themed half-fic half-poem, in which Dean saves siren!Cas from a real-life waking nightmare and drives him to Bobby’s house for safety. But as Cas reveals more about himself and his past, Dean comes to realise he has to let his new winged friend enter his mind and dreamwalk, or else Cas will die.

✦ A Place and a Feeling · 24k · NC-17 · fluffy drama + domesticity + smut

Human AU. Dean Winchester still hasn’t found the perfect little house in the suburbs he’s always dreamed of. On the off-chance that another meeting with his totally adorkable realtor could finally change everything, Dean keeps going back to Castiel’s agency. Like Cas always says, home is both a place and a feeling. But what if the place Dean’s looking for is Castiel’s house, and the feeling is Castiel himself? Sometimes the most unprofessional choices lead to the most enjoyable personal consequences. This is one of those times.

✦ Our Garden Home · 36k · G · cute overload fairy AU

Flower fairy Dean has caught a thief in his trap. As it turns out, it wasn’t a mouse stealing his food. It was Castiel: a hissy, bitey bat sprite with one wing and a forlorn, lonely heart. Dean offers a warm space in his nest, where Castiel can stay until Springtime comes around again. However, Castiel becomes more than just a guest. With a little effort, he helps make Dean’s nest a home.

✦ Night Exhibition · 27k · NC-17 · friends to lovers + smut (rimming!)

Welcome to the world’s most generic museum. In the café, you’ll find Dean, putting dinosaur cut-outs on his award-winning apple pies. In the gift shop, you’ll find his snarky yet devastatingly handsome friend Castiel, folding t-shirts for a living. But Castiel has a second job as a night watchman, patrolling the marble halls and protecting the museum exhibits after dark. One night, Dean asks to tag along. He could never resist a crisp blue uniform, and he’ll take any opportunity to have his friend show it off. It might take all night, one dance, and a playful sex act (or five) in a few unusual places around the museum before either of them realise… maybe Dean’s interest was never about the uniform. And maybe their friendship was already something else.

✦ What We Ache For · 93k · NC-17 · hurt-comfort + domesticity

Working as a prostitute (that’s ‘sex worker’ to the decent folks), Castiel has heard more than his fair share of odd requests. When he’s paid to spend a night with Dean Winchester (handsome, dork of all dorks, has a nice car… secretly a cop), the last thing Castiel expects to hear are the words “I wanna make love.” That’s the one thing he’s never done before – so Dean is going to show him how to do it. But then, barely a month after that night is over, Castiel finds himself in a difficult situation, and Dean is mistakenly summoned to help. They begin to share again: Dean’s apartment, the spare bed, their deepest secrets. Over time, with the support of Dean’s brother Sam, a mystery dog, and lots of cuddles, kisses, comfort, and tea, maybe Cas can finally be loved the way he deserves.

✦ Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop · 8k · G · fun & silly office romance

Nobody expects to see a purple horse at a Pride parade. So, naturally, Dean Winchester is surprised to meet his office co-worker and long-term crush, Castiel, riding atop a magnificent steed - and dressed in full wizard regalia, no less. Somehow, Cas thinks he (and his decked-out horse) are wearing grey. They visit a coffee shop with their friends and family, trying to get to the bottom of this mix-up - and apparently the purple horse is coming too.

“One medium black coffee with two sugars; one macchiato; three small soy lattes; one large decaf with a caramel shot - and ten apples, please.”

✦ Unconditional · 2k · T · hurt-comfort + meta about Dean & John Winchester

Over the years, Dean’s learned a lot about himself, and the way he loves those around him. Now Cas is back from the dead, and he came back human - and hurt. As Dean soothes Cas’ wounds in the front seat of the Impala, an ache in his heart drives him to find words to explain.

✦ The Wireless · 58k · NC-17 · solar punk + the most holy-shit thing I have ever written imo

Cas Novak hosts a popular radio show, entertaining hunters with his psychic powers. But, in a world where monster-hunting is commonplace, he harbours a powerful secret: he’s not human, but an angel, surviving in a society unsympathetic to his kind. For six years, Cas has read out news stories describing a particularly impressive man: Dean Winchester, distinguished hunter and accidental prophet of God. Not by chance, Cas meets Dean at a sunny autumn carnival, where Dean’s taken a job at a kissing booth. One kiss - perhaps two - and they’re already old friends, sharing fairground food, a carousel ride, another kiss on the ferris wheel… Finally, safe in the tent Dean shares with his brother, Castiel feels comfortable enough to reveal those unknown pieces of himself. But come morning, bigger events separate the trio: an ancient beast is waking up, and a fearful world desperately needs to be united. Now Castiel has a reason to confess his true nature, broadcasting live on Hunter Radio. Of course, Dean is listening. And it’s only a matter of time before he replies.

✦ Marshmalloween · 33k · T · lighthearted “teenagers vs. a haunted swamp” adventure

In an attempt to be the world’s coolest guardian, Dean takes his seventeen-year old brother Sam and all his friends to a ‘haunted’ swamp for Halloween night. Even if the ghost stories are a load of baloney, at least the alligators are real. Dean is unexpectedly reunited with his childhood friend (and crush) Castiel, kickstarting a fun night of Halloween antics - marshmallow toasting, bottle spinning, kiss exchanging, and spooky storytelling around the campfire. But when Sam and his dog both go missing, Dean realises the stories his mother once told him are all true. Monsters are real. And unless Dean, Cas, and all of Sam’s friends can figure out how to bring Sam back, he might be lost forever.

✦ Restaurant Revelations · 4k · G · fluffy relationship reveal

Dean and Cas have something important to tell Sam. They don their cheap rental tuxes, and Cas takes out dinner reservations at an exclusive restaurant just for the occasion. Sam is surprised enough when he and Cas make it through the door. But Dean shows up five minutes late, and the restaurant’s security protocols surely make it impossible for him to join them. The secret password is “fiancé”. And somehow Dean knows without being told.

✦ Stumble and Fall · 20k · G · dog adventures + cuddles

Dog AU. Ever since Dean was a puppy, training to be the world’s best sniffer dog, he hasn’t been able to sleep alone. His newest mission takes him well out of his comfort zone: he’s teamed up with a search-and-rescue mutt named Castiel (who, presumably, still has the vet’s thermometer stuck up his ass). But Dean was never built for snowy mountains – and only by snuggling up tight will he and Castiel share enough heat to make it through the night. Except, once Dean is home safe, he finds himself pining for his canine friend…

✦ Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark · 6k · G · kid fic

Castiel is beginning to understand how deceitful his fellow ten-year-olds can be. All the other boys in his swim class keep trying to convince him that there’s a live shark in the pool. And now Dean’s claiming that the panties in his bag belong to his sister, when Castiel knows for a fact that Dean doesn’t have a sister. Castiel is sick of being lied to. But, once Dean reveals a few truths, perhaps they can find a way to make sure the other kids’ teasing comes back to bite them - so to speak.

✦ Whoa There Cowboy · 5k · NC-17 · cowboy kink smut

If you’re gonna jerk off, watch something you find sexy, Dean said. There’s a dirty cowboy movie on TV, and that suits him perfectly. But he never expected that Cas would want to watch him.

✦ The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments · 28k · G · Christmas magic + cute overload

Every night when the clock strikes twelve, all the toys in the toymaker’s workshop come to life. Dean is a little wooden soldier, so easily distracted by the pretty dolls. However, in the nights leading up to Christmas, he feels drawn to a very different kind of toy: Castiel, a kindhearted cowboy displayed on the other side of the store. Dean and Castiel spend all their time together, spreading joy and festive cheer throughout their miniature community. But once the Christmas rush comes around, will fate allow them to stay together? (Perhaps… with a little sprinkling of Christmas magic, even the wishes of simple toys can come true.)

#Destiel #Destiel fanfic #Destiel fic rec #DeanCas #Elmie writes things #long post #post of postiness #Elmie makes things #2017

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con-txt · 6 years

Text

Call for more panel moderators!

The panel votes are tallied and the schedule is coming together, but we are still looking for a few more people to join our cohort of forty-something panel moderators. We have eight popular panels with no moderators at all and four with only one moderator who'd like to work with a co-mod or two.

At CON.TXT, a panel moderator leads (or co-leads) a discussion among the attendees. Generally mods prepare leading questions to keep the conversation moving; some panels include a lengthier presentation by the moderator. We can work with you ahead of the con if you'd like some guidance.

Interested? Email us asap to volunteer as a moderator.

The following panels currently have no moderators, so if you take them on you're welcome to update the descriptions to your satisfaction -- but remember that they were voted in based on the current descriptions, so you might want to keep that in mind.

Title: How Slash Fandom Talks to Itself (Meta) Description: Fandom is all over the web, on a bunch of different social media sites with different norms and formats, and seems to still be seeking a perfect home. Where are we now? How do those places work, and how can people find fandom friends in them? What do we want in an online home for slash fandom?

Title: Writing Outside the Binary (Meta) Description: What are good fandoms and communities in fandom for non-binary-gendered or genderqueer characters (canon or fanon)? What are good fanworks to rec? Share the joy of writing an OT4 where everybody has a different pronoun, talk about what we'd like to see in fandom and fanworks, and share tips on writing nonbinary and genderqueer characters.

Title: But That Wasn't in the Book! (Multi-Fandom) Description: Novels have always been translated to the screen, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Let's talk about the most recent adaptations (A Wrinkle in Time, Altered Carbon, Game of Thrones, whatever else). What makes them better or worse? What books haven't been made into movies that need to be? What should never have been touched?

Title: Fairy Tales (and Where to Find the Good Ones) (Multi-Fandom) Description: Fairy tales are an old-old fandom, and some of the modern retellings are pretty great. Perhaps it's the female leads that are kicking it up? Let's talk about which version of Red Riding Hood and Cinderella we love best, and why Evil Queens simply rule.

Title: Fandom Drought (Multi-Fandom) Description: I haven't found a new pairing since Hannibal was cancelled. What do you do to find a new fandom or pairing? How long have you ever been without a fandom? Come pimp your fandom or hear about obscure ones.

Title: Large Fandom Speed Dating (Multi-Fandom) Description: You're between fandoms, and you want something where there will be new fic every day--let us match you with the large fandom you've been waiting for.

Title: Black Lightning (Single Fandom) Description: Let's talk about Black Lightning--what it has to say in dialog with the rest of the DC tv-verse, and in thematic dialog with Black Panther and other Black-led superhero stories. (And, of course, about the awesome women.)

Title: But They Keep Not Running Away: Marvel's Runaways (Single Fandom) Description: The Runaways is a great comic and now a fascinating live action show. The actors playing the kids are amazing, and even better are the adults! Let's talk about all the great cross-generational, cross-species, and incestuous slashy goodness. And why is it taking them so long to run away?

The following panels have one moderator already, so if you join them you can decide amongst yourselves whether anything should be updated. We'll put you in touch if you're not familiar with each other already.

Title: Zines and Archives (How-To) Current mod: Melannen Looking for: prefer to have a co-mod or two who was/is involved in slash fandom zine communities Description: Learn all about non-computer-based fanfic. What are zines and zine fandom like? How do you read them, learn about them, make them, own them, archive them?

Title: Good for a Laugh (Multi-Fandom) Current mod: monkeypie Looking for: anyone Description: Smart sitcoms can combine sharp writing with great characters to deliver more than just a good joke. Current comedies like Brooklyn 99, One Day at a Time and the Good Place have all given us queer characters and addressed current issues of race, class and gender. Or maybe you're more interested in discussing which Golden Girl was the best? Let's talk about modern and classic sitcoms that have something more to say.

Title: One-Shot Wonders (Multi-Fandom) Current mod: KateKintail Looking for: anyone Description: Drowning in WIPS? Don't have time to read yet another novel-length fanfic? Come share your favorite one-shot recs! This is your opportunity to share that perfect one-shot you read once upon a time that will make everyone fall in love with your favorite fandom or pairing. Or maybe you've got a one-shot that's too wild or too hilarious to make it onto a normal rec list. Bring us your PWPs, your fluff, your crack pairings yearning to be read!

Title: You Must Be At Least Four Centuries Old To Enter (Multi-Fandom) Current mod: Melannen Looking for: anyone Description: The best fandoms are the old fandoms. The really old fandoms. From Shakespeare to Gilgamesh to the Sagas of the Icelanders, when will our OTPs finally get together? Which ancient text is slashiest? Which is the best adaptation of Journey to the West? Is it really best translated as the "The Discourse"? What is our favorite Julius Caesar joke? And will we finally solve, once and for all, the question of whether Achilles was a bottom?

Also, we have two people who offered to mod panels that we haven't been able to match to an email address or haven't been able to get in touch with: Donna and Mizubyte. If this is you, please email us and let us know if you are still interested.

#con.txt 2018 #con.txt panels

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thetourguidebarbie · 7 years

Note

In light of the drama of the past week, could you list some of the best things about the fandom and some of the people and have them pass it along so that we can all be a happy family again?

Here are fifty people that I love and one thing i love about them in alphabetical order OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT EVERYONE I LOVE but I didn’t want to do more than fifty XD I’m sorry this took a week i just needed time to sit down and take a breather lol

SO MOVING ONTO SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT THIS FANDOM: i love how resilient we are and how much we support each other, and there are so many great artists and thinkers in this fandom and so many people who inspire others and it’s just like… BEAUTIFUL??? Like I have no words

@3tinkgemini is so sweet and writes AWESOME ADVENTUROUS SMUT.

@accidental-rambler is super smart and nice and writes amazing fic and like SO INSPIRING??? i get so many ideas from her existence like RACECAR DRIVER MODEL AU HAS TAKEN OVER THE BACK OF MY THOUGHTS AND WON’T LEAVE

@arustykiss just like the most supportive amazing nice person??? MY WIFE MY LOVE STILL WAITING ON THE SEQUEL TO THE HAREM FIC IT’S BEEN 84 YEARSSSS also literally one of the reasons i kept writing in the beginning. ALSO MORE WTICH BLOWJOBS????

@katejgecko THE FLAILSSS?? LIKe the warm fuzzies are so REALL

@candycolamorgan the best starbucks writing partner to ever live basically

@captndevil SO NICE AND LOVELY and like THE WRITING like your smut is perfection and your characterization is On POinTTT like how

@cbk1000 I have learned way too much history through osmosis and also THE SASS and the appropriate smackdowns i appreciate jenn so much

@chica-cherry-lola *DIES FROM ELABORATE BEAUTIFUL INSPIRING HEADCANONS* THE BEST ENABLER EVER RIGHT HEREEEE also like the weasley brother obsession I HAVE FOUND MY HARRY POTTER SHIPPING SOULMATE TBH

@cupcakemolotov the best giver of real talk on this side of the planet. also v impressive unimpressed faces

@delightfullysunny such a good listener??? and like so nice and sweet and HER REVIEWS NEVER FAIL TO LEAVE ME INSPIRED AND WANTING TO WRITE like !!!!

@dreamsarefleeting WROTE ME ONE OF MY FAV BIRTHDAY FICS OF ALL TIME like I have reread it over and over and OVER and is also just a genuinely amazing person I WILL TREASURE THE MEMORIES OF DIM SUM FOREVER

@fanfantasticworld HOW dAREEE someone make such beautiful covers??? Like I AM IN AWE CONSTANTLY

@garglyswoof AMAZING WRITER LIKE I WILL TREASURE THE PAINTING FIC FOR ALL MY YEARS and also like one of the best betas i’ve ever had???

@goldcaught Master enabler, idea pitcher, and general ball of sunshine HOW ARE YOU A PERSON

@gooddame THE KLAROLINE FANFIC FAIRY who just like POPS IN with beautiful fic STILL WAITING ON MORE POKER AU I NEED IT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

@hellsbellschime SHE HAS THE SECOND AND THIRD BEST CATS IN THE WORLD (though we disagree on order of ranking) and also just champion human in general

@honestgrins HER FICS GIVE ME LIFE like her AUAH is perfection and it gives me SO MANY FEELINGS SO MANYYYY the THEATER AU M OR GANNN I AM STILL DECEASED IN AFTERSHOCKS

@howeverlongs general gifset queen I AM ENVIOUS OF HER SORCERY

@hummingbirds-and-champagne Wrote literally my favorite KC fic of all time, writes BEAUTIFUL HARRY POTTER AUs, IS JUST GENERALLY AMAZING. I might still take you up on that roommate offer Elle like OUR ONLY SOLACE IN THIS TIME IS CANADA

@hurricanesandheartbreak how dare anyone be this nice and like also HER SASS IS JUST GENERALLY DAY BRIGHTENING

@itsnotacrimetoloveyou LLUIZAAA MY QUEEN OF FEARLESS SMUTTY ADVENTURES I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love your fics and you’re just so sweet and like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much

@jinxedwood BaTtLEE LinESSSS!!!

@joey-prue beautiful gifsets and so supportive ??? like LITERALLY ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLe

@justanotherfiveminutes A blessing to the world TBH like I AM STILL WRITING BECAUSE OF YOU SOPHIE AND IM NOT SORRY

@kirythestitchwitch HILARIOUS HUMAN and like her REVIEWS i am like genuine trash for them and look forward to them and whenever i get them in my box I SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT LIKE !!

@klarolinedrabbles A blessing to this fandom and fabulous writer and hilarious clapbacks and honestly just like the greatest ever?? ALSO WHERE IS THE WEREWOLF FIC *SLAMS TABLE* GIVE IT TO ME

@klarolineforevermine Literally reading her tags on OTHER PEOPLES THINGS just like make me want to write IMMEDIATELY and she gives excellent prompts and is just like the nicest???? ever?????????

@klarolinekolvina so so so so SO sweet and nice and supportive and ALWAYS has a kind word to say. ALSO THE HOCKEY FIC like ! i adored it!!!

@lalainajanes literally one of the funniest people i know. AMAZING writer. excellent life advice. Shares my dislike for The Kyles of the world

@lilbreck A++++ FANDOM MOM and FEARLESS SHIPPER OF RARE PAIRS and like supportive and sweet but STILL WILL SMACK YOU DOWN IF YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE love her so much

@littlebirdofthenorth My organizing buddy!! WEREWOLF FICCC Commiserates about the gift exchanges with my whining ass XD

@lynyrdwrites CROSSOVER QUEEN and light of my fusion life (unless she’s writing angst then BYE but i say that with love and affection AND ALSO SOMEHOW I’M NOW WRITING PAIN SO I GUESS??? IT WORKED????)

@maevelin SOME OF THE BEST METAS and great cover maker and HER WRITING IS AMAZINGGGG like no one does klaus like her tbh

@makemeamilkshake FELLOW JEREMY/TYLER TRASH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE MUST WORK TOGETHER TO BRING MORE OF IT INTO THE WORLD YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE

@megansarah11 My little!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO SMUSH HER CUTIE PIE NICENESSS IN A HUG WHENEVER WE TALK

@misssophiachase IF YOU WANT FIC TO CHEER YOU UP HERE IT IS!!! the fluff is AMAZING and it always gives me warm fuzzies and just MAKES MY DAY BRIGHTER

@mon-amour-eternel FELLOW LOVER OF ORIGINAL!KC HOW DID WE NOT MEET EARLIER like my NEW FAV tbh I’m such trash and I have DEVOURED everything she has written

@seriouslyinlove GIFSET MAGICIAN??????? I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY BEING IN AWE

@paigemarie007 she’s so nice and her asks brighten my day and never fail to make me happy!! also gives great prompts!!

@princess-of-the-worlds SUCH CREATIVE IDEAS AND ENDLESS KINDNESS HOW DOES ONE DO IT and like, such a good writer??? LIKE YOU ARE TINY HOW DO YOU DO IT

@purestheartslove HER AESTHETICS GIVE ME SUCH JOY like I remember looking at the one she made for travelers and like nearly bursting into tears I WAS SO OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION

@she-walked-away FUNNY SWEET HUMAN WHO WRITES AMAZING SMUT AND THE MOST ADORABLE FLUFFY AUAH HER CAROLINE IS ON POINT AND I DEVOUR EVERYTHING SHE WRITES BECAUSE IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL also kaitlyn MORE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET i gave you extra credit its’ the least you can do right??? right!

@that-wandering-belle So sweet and shy and like I have SO MANY FEELINGS i miss Anything Can Happen with all of my heart and soul and love the Arrangement and LOOK WAHT SHE WROTE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY IT’S SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND DELICIOUSLY SMUTTY

@these-dreams-go-on KLAROLINE AND KALIJAH SOULMATE!! We share a love for Katherine Pierce that CAN NEVER BE RIVALED! I CRY AT NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE ANGST AND THEN MY HEART SOARS WHEN IT IS RESOLVED HER STORIES WRECK ME

@supremeuppityone Has scandalously saucy smut ;) Every time i have tlaked to her she’s just been so nice and welcoming and supportive BUY HER BOOK

@wanderlust-in-nyc the sass is real with this one!! I love all her one shots and her beautiful interpretations of KC! She has such a unique writing style that really captures emotion and i love it SO MUCHHH

@xxafterthestormxx one of my FAVORITE AUAH writers and just a fabulous friend!!! ALSO I SWEAR I WILL GET THAT OLIMIONE FIC DONE AT SOME POINT BUT I’M JUST GLAD SOMEONE IS IN THE TRASH BIN WITH ME

#klaroline #kc fandom #kc family #klaroline coven #otp: annoyingly perfect #anon #ask #answer

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smkkbert · 7 years

Text

Olicity Fanfic Recommendation

Hi, guys! I know it’s been awhile since I have been posting a recommendation/review/meta the last time, but I had a lot of trouble with exams and preparations for my master’s thesis and so on. Anyway, there was little to no time for reading, so it took me like forever to read this fic to the end and have time to sit down and write a little bit about it. Now here we are again and in case you need something knew to read and have been through with everything on my recommendation list, here you got something new

Today’s post addresses The Crow by @poisonangelmuse and @thealternativesource. I was actually recommended to read it, too, by my beta and friend @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl. I took her advice and read the story, especially since the tags promised me #BratvaOliver #Olicity #Smut #Violence #PossessiveOliver #RussianMob #AU #HEA, hence all good things. And guess what, I didn’t regret it. Now let’s take a closer look at what I’ve been reading.

OVERALL PLOT

With more than 200,000 words the story offers a lot of time to address different themes and that is exactly what the story does; it explores a lot of different themes, some more and some less. For me the three most important I’d like to take a closer look at right now are family, revenge and identity.

-Family-

There are a lot of different families in the world.

There are the families we are born into.

There are the families we are trusted to when we don’t have anyone else.

There are the families that are made of friends.

There are the families we choose.

And finally there are the families we never knew we wanted until the right person comes along.

The story of The Crow offers a take on all of them in different ways and different extents, but there are all there and they all play a significant role in the development of the main characters.

Oliver lost his family when he was young, so he grew up with the Bratva and of course growing up in a criminal organization as the heir of the leader leaves its marks. There is a difference in what family you grow up in and that is something Oliver becomes painfully aware of. As he grows into the family business, he makes friends inside who actually become more like family then friends. They are a team within a team, a family within what Oliver considers a family. That is the life and the family Oliver knows.

Felicity’s life has been rather different. Growing up with a mother, who is supposed to be her family but who feels so strange and so unappreciative of her daughter that Donna just doesn’t feel like family to her. Felicity spends a lot of time with her neighbors, great people really, who seem to understand Felicity a lot more than Donna does. They help shape Felicity into the person she wants to be, but once Felicity loses that family, she gotta find a new one and that she does. She finds friends who become her family.

It’s when Felicity’s newly chosen family is taken from her that she finds herself all alone and that is what brings her to Oliver. While they start as complete strangers, we do see them become family to each other and they are the last category of family. They grow into the families they never knew they wanted until the right person comes along. It’s a long path towards that and an even longer to admitting that they have grown into this kind of family, the most important one probably, but once they do, there is no denying that they need to make this family work.

Of course family never works without conflicts. Oliver’s realization that Felicity is family to him also makes him realize that there is another family he has to break with. It also strengthens some other part of his family, though. There might also be parts of Felicity’s family that get new chances or squanders their lasts. It’s an exciting theme to address that really made me realize how many different versions of families there really are and how messed up it can be when they work against each other.

-Revenge-

The thing with family is that you can lose it or even worse, it can be taken from you. When that happens, you find yourself blind for everything but your hate and your need for revenge. That is how Oliver and Felicity, two people who seem to have little understanding and little affection for each other at the start, find themselves relying on each other. They want revenge on the people who took their families away.

Revenge makes us do terrible things. Revenge makes us do things we haven’t completely thought through and they force us to make relationships we don’t want to make and sometimes that is exactly what we need.

Revenge really is the driving motive for a lot of Oliver’s and Felicity’s actions throughout the story and most importantly it’s the one thing they can connect over instantly. It’s the one feeling they can share and it’s an exciting starting point for a journey filled with action and emotion.

-Identity-

Well, family and revenge as well as everything happening around really all leads up to the one overarching theme. Identity. There is just no way to explore the loss and gain of family as well as the dark places revenge can take people without exploring identity.

Actually, even the title of the fic refers to the theme. The Crow is Oliver’s identity. It’s his title in the Bratva, the person he is supposed to be. The Crow is merciless. He punishes and he kills, but he does everything in the name of the Bratva. That is who Oliver was raised to be. That is who Anatoly is trying to force him to be. That is, who at the end of the day, is standing in Oliver’s way of being happy.

Then there’s Felicity, who has to turn her whole life upside down and become a completely new person – new home, new clothes, new hair color. Everything has to be different, exactly like her mother wanted her to be actually and how she never wanted to be. But it’s when Felicity feels like she is losing herself that she is finding out who she really is.

At the end of the day it takes a person worth questioning who life made you to figure out who you want to be and how to become that person.

TONE OR RATHER TONES OF THE STORY

There are a lot of different parts to the story and hence a lot of different tones. The overall story of two people who seek revenge is a rather action-filled and tension-driven story. It kept me on the edge of my seat for most of the time.

Then there is the story of two people who are both put through terrible things in their lives. They seem to have little control and are pushed around by the people around them until finally they take control. It’s filled with moments of angst and sadness and sorrow.

Then of course it is about two people finding each other. It creates lovely moments of fun, emotional moments that first break and then warm your heart and of course it offers some great smut.

The story lets you live through a rollercoaster of emotions. Between heart-wrenching pain and wild joy you will be put through every emotion in between in the most wonderful way.

WRITING STYLE

As you might have taken from all my enthusiastic writing, I love the story and I never love a story more as when the writing is this good. A story can be perfect, but when the writing isn’t good, I have trouble reading a fic. This fic has two wonderful writers who know exactly how to pull the audience in.

One of the things I like the most is how well-developed the characters are. Even minor characters who aren’t even a real part of the present-time story are so fleshed out that I felt like I could just see them and recognize them. There are so many details in the writing overall that I really loved.

Maybe the writing style has this one little… thing that’s not really my taste. Sometimes I feel like the point of view switches within a scene. It’s not like it’s not clear whose point of view we are exploring at any time, but sometimes I feel it switches within a paragraph.

Like I said it’s really more a thing of personal taste than anything else and as you may see, it didn’t bother me enough to stop reading or influence how much I love the story, so…

FELICITY

Felicity’s story begins with a terrible loss and the consequences it has on her life. Felicity needs to run and turn her life upside down to survive. Being the great hacker that she is, she soon finds someone who she hopes can protect her and who she hopes to find an ally in.

Unfortunately, Felicity’s ally is not how she hoped he would be. The things he demands from her are turning her life upside down and force her to be someone who she isn’t and who she never wanted to be.

It’s when the lines start to blur and Felicity realizes that maybe it’s not only what she is forced to do, but something she enjoys to do, something she recognizes herself in that Felicity starts reconsidering who she really is and opens herself.

It’s not easy for her. Felicity has been through a lot and she is in the middle of one of the worst moments of her life. She is scared and angry and confused by what has happened to her. With the new friends she makes and the man who understands her and opens up her heart, she finds herself on a journey of letting go of what has been and exploring a new future.

OLIVER

Oliver was young when he lost his family. The take this story offers on his past and how he became The Crow is one of the parts I enjoyed most about the story. It’s really dark and shapes Oliver’s path into the story we see in the fic really.

When we meet Oliver, he is The Crow, the man who was raised to lead the Bratva one day. As focused as he might seem on that, we see the little breaks of this person he is supposed to be, whenever his family is addressed. Oliver is already on his path of revenge, but he has little to no backup to help him go through with it. He needs someone to help him.

Of course The Crow doesn’t want to take any help, especially not of someone who breaks into his home and seems a) like a threat and b) humanized chaos. At the end his need for revenge wins over his doubt. He doesn’t want to open up to her. He doesn’t want to rely on her, but he has been waiting for revenge too long to turn down the chance when he sees it.

Just like for Felicity, this isn’t easy for Oliver, either. He doesn’t trust people and to rely on a stranger to get what he needs is not easy for him. On his way to his revenge he finds himself falling in love and questioning his life and he actually finds out that maybe there is a lot more about his past that he didn’t know about.

OLICITY

As you can see, Oliver and Felicity don’t have the best starting point for their connection. They rely on each other, but they don’t trust each other and they don’t really like each other. It’s really not the best start into getting to know someone, especially when you have to fake a relationship.

It doesn’t take long until the lines between fake and not-so-fake blur. The truth is that as much as Oliver and Felicity like to pretend that they don’t like each other, they have been through very similar things in their life and they have very similar goals that force them to work together. That becomes their real starting point then.

We really find Olicity on very similar paths here. They need to cut some threads to their past to find out who they want to be in the future. They question their identities and by falling in love and supporting each other, they eventually find a way. Together.

There is just no universe that these two wouldn’t find each other, support each other and help each other to become the best versions of themselves. This universe is no exceptions. Instead it’s really an example of how two broken people can heal each other when just the broken pieces of each other fit together.

EXTRACT

Felicity tied off the brown bathrobe that the mysterious blonde had thrown at her earlier. Her clothes were ruined, pooled down on the bathroom floor. She frowned as she wondered if there was any way to savage her favorite leather jacket and combat boots. Probably not.

As she looked over her reflection in the mirror she could barely recognize herself. Her dark hair was matted to her head, her makeup long gone, and her eyes red. She was paler and dark circles were forming under her eyes. She looked empty, a ghost of herself even though she felt better than she had in hours.

She couldn’t stand looking at herself.

Taking a deep and somewhat relaxing breath, she tucked her hair behind her ears before opening the bathroom door. Her eyes zeroed in on the intruder sitting on the bed, Oliver Queen.

He was casually sitting down on the large bed, his suit jacket and tie long gone with his dress shirtsleeves rolled up. For the first time Felicity actually took a look at Oliver Queen. He was a severely handsome man that combined with his devil-may-care attitude and broken nature could bring all the girls and boys to the yard. And no matter how angry and intense he seemed he was a mystery. Felicity hated mysteries.

He must have heard her because he turned his body to her, his eyes boring into hers as if trying to figure her out while keeping his guard up. In many ways he was just like her. Her thoughts screeched to a halt when she realized what he had in his hands.

She lost it.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she shouted, rushing towards the bed and packing her things back into her bag. Her entire life was on display for him on that bed and she had no idea how long he had been there, how much he had seen.

“Trying to figure out the mystery of Felicity Meghan Smoak,” he shot back in a husky voice; holding up her ID.

“You had no right to go through my stuff!” she roared, not caring that she was in his home as his guest/intruder and that he knew her full name. He’d probably sent out his lousy security system to look her up.

“Just like you didn’t have a right to invade my home. Yet, here you are,” he said coldly, throwing her ID onto the bed. Felicity snatched it up and put it inside her bag. “Now, how did you get inside the mansion?” he asked her, wondering who was to blame. The Queen Mansion was supposed to be the safest place in Starling City, and yet a woman had slipped through.

“I…I hacked into the power grid,” she answered as she checked her antique radio and faded copy of The Hobbit for damage. She packed them away when she knew they were ok.

“The power grid? The cities power grid?” he asked, trying to hide his surprise. “Yes. I shut down this section for a few minutes by overloading the system with the press of a button. I cut off the power, your sensors and alarms, and had access to your guard locations. No offense, but your security system sucks. Any half decent hacker could get in,” she rambled on as Oliver continued to watch her. There was curiosity in those hard eyes. She pressed her lips together to stop her rambling, “Anyway, I used a storm drain to get to the mansion. You’ve got a manhole in the old garden house on the other side of the property. You need to A) close off that entrance and B) not have a big blank space on the blueprints you submit to city hall. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out that your safe room is there. Knew you were coming there so I waited near by for you to find me.”

She bit her lip to contain her rambling. She was seeking the Bratva Captain’s help and here she was insulting him.

Oliver gave a hum, calculating eyes processing her words. He would have to tell John to check everything she was admitting to him, “Now that seems like a lot of work.”

Placing her freshly packed bag back on the bed she chose her words carefully. This was where he was gauging if he’d help her, “It was worth it. I needed to get your attention and somehow I knew I wouldn’t get your attention by coming to the front gate.”

“So, what did the single daughter of a cocktail waitress from Las Vegas and a graduate in Computer Sciences from M.I.T, do to piss off China White? What could a girl like you do to get on what I assume is the Triad black list?” Oliver asked her, confirming her suspicions that he’d looked her up. He probably knew her security number by now.

“It’s a long story,” she said angrily as she grabbed her bag and moved to sit down in an armchair across the room.

“Please, Ms. Smoak. I have time,” Oliver replied sarcastically as he leaned forward on his forearms. He was getting all the information that he needed to make his decision.

Shifting uncomfortably in the armchair she looked away from his ever present and quite frankly, infuriating stare of The Crow, “I…we…me and my friends, we’re hackers. Or at least, we used to be. We were hacktivists.”

He raised a brow, “Hacktivists?”

“We used to hack into the accounts and systems that belonged to the corrupt and take from them what they took from innocent people. We used to think we were helping people out. Helping make the world a better place. We only took from those that deserved it, giving it back to the poor and oppressed. With a couple key strokes we could serve out justice,” she said, her words sounding recited and empty.

“How very Robin Hood of you,” Oliver said coldly, clearly not impressed by her story. “So you decided to steal from the mob? From the Chinese mob? How stupid could you be?” Oliver snorted.

“Like the mob was innocent? The Triad is the pure definition of evil! They ruin people’s lives! They murder, steal, and corrupt everything they touch! They got what they deserved,” Felicity fumed, as Oliver stared at her with disdain.

“You have a very innocent definition of the world then Ms. Smoak. The world is not filled only with bad and good people. It’s not black and white. There are endless shades of grey in between,” Oliver told her, scratching his stubble as he watched Felicity.

“And who’s saying that exactly? Oliver Queen - CEO or The Crow – Bratva Captain?” she challenged him, and Oliver didn’t know if he wanted to smile or to show the dark haired woman how the world actually worked. She seemed to be in need of it.

“The world is a dark place Ms. Smoak. Filled with darkness and terror. The Triad is a part of it. Just like the Bratva is. And you and your friends got in the middle of very dangerous business. No one steals from us and walks away alive. You all should have known better. And now you’ve paid the price,” Oliver said with such finality that she wanted to stalk across the room and punch him in the face. The fact that he still had his gun on him stopped her.

“They didn’t deserve to die. Not like that. Not for stealing money from a monstrous criminal organization to give to people that they’ve hurt and that needed it more than they did!” Felicity shouted angrily. She took a deep breath before continuing, “They…they took their bodies. There will be no caskets, no funerals, and no final goodbyes. Their families will never know what happened to them. My friends deserved better than this!” For the first time since she left her hotel she felt the sting of hot tears behind her eyes. Yet, she didn’t let then fall. She wouldn’t cry in front of this man.

“And what exactly do you want me to say Ms. Smoak? That I’m sorry? The death of your friends means nothing to me. This is not Bratva business and it’s not my business. You got yourself into this mess and Triad doesn’t forgive.”

“So this is it? This is all The Crow has to say?” Felicity shouted, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

“You should be grateful that I listened to you at all,” Oliver said, getting up from the bed, “And keeping you alive so long. Not many people can say they’ve had this privilege.”

Felicity stood from the armchair. This was going badly, “If you don’t help me I’m as good as dead. You know this.”

“Again, Ms. Smoak, not my problem.”

Leaving her bad there she approached him. “How can you even say that? After what that woman did to you!” she said before stopping right out of his reach, “To your family.”

Oliver tensed where he stood. She was skirting around something she shouldn’t and he was almost at his wits end. “Don’t think you know shit about me just because you read it on a computer screen,” Oliver said his posture and voice steady but threatening.

“I know enough about you. I know that you have been waiting for this chance. I know that you will spend the rest of your life waiting for it unless you have someone like me on your side. Let me help you!”

“Help me?” he said, a fake laugh escaping his lips, “How could you possibly help me? You already told me how you got in. That problem is solved. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into it. This is a very dangerous game you are playing here.”

“I happen to be very good at this game, Mr. Queen. I’m very good at finding out people’s secrets, things that they wouldn’t want other people to know about and the places they hide them in. I won’t stop till that woman is behind bars!” she shouted, not realizing how close she’d gotten to Oliver.

“You’re delusional,” he growled out, looking down at her.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing, Mr. Queen. No one is untouchable. I will find a way to bring her down. To bring the entire Triad down. I’m giving you a choice to help me and in turn get what you’ve always wanted!”

He grabbed her shoulders and gave a shake, “You have a lot of guts saying something like that. What makes you think that I won’t just give you up to China White?”

“Because if there’s someone that hates her as much as me, it’s you!” she shouted as she pushed him away. They stared at each other, both livid and wondering how they could even work together.

Deep inside Oliver knew that he shouldn’t even be listening to this woman. She was an uncontrollable variable and someone that might end up ruining all his plans. But he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that somehow she was right. He had been trying to find a way to end China White, her father and The Triad for the past twenty years. And yet, nothing seemed to work. They were untouchable. And not only that, Anatoly had forbidden him from ever taking action against them. Their leader in Russia loved to remind him that his revenge was selfish, that a very delicate balance kept the civility between the Bratva, Triad and the Italians and that a war between the criminal organizations would lead to a blood bath. Maybe even the annihilation of all of them.

And here an opportunity stood. A woman who had lost her family and had turned to the enemy of her enemy for help.

Felicity pulled him from his thoughts as she began to pace lightly, “And let’s be honest. The way that I got into your system. Easiest thing I’ve done in ages. Besides helping you with China White I can help you fix the holes in your security so ‘little girls’ like me don’t hack in and take control like I did. This is worthwhile. This is worth a yes! This is worth trying to find a way to help each other.”

“I don’t know if I should think that you’re bright or terribly stupid,” Oliver smirked, watching as she stopped to throw him a glare. She had guts talking to him like this. It was proof that she was a wild card but maybe a useful one.

“So, what do you say? Do we work together to help destroy the people that have taken our families away or do we go our separate ways and keep on trying in vain? I have the hacking skills and you have the cash and a set of skills your own that can help us take them on. This can work,” she rambled, ignoring his previous comment, “Do we have a deal, Captain?”

“If we do this, we’re going to do it my own way,” Oliver barked with authority. If he was going to take this risk he was going to make sure she knew who was in charge. By the nod she gave him, she understood.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Felicity agreed before offering her hand, nervous and excited inside. She was one step closer, “So, partners?”

Oliver stared at her hand for a few seconds. In another life handshakes meant trust and an understanding that both parties agreed. In Bratva such a handshake meant nothing as each turn was met with betrayal and doubt. This felt different.

This slip of a woman was offering to help him with something dear to him for no other reason that she wanted justice for what happened to her family…just like he wanted for his. And for some inexplicable reason, he felt that maybe he could take the leap of faith that she was offering. Sure he still had control but maybe this partnership with Felicity Smoak could change everything. Maybe she would be the one to help him. Maybe he would find some justice and peace for him and his family. Just maybe.

Oliver took her hand, “Partners.”

CONCLUSION

I love this fic! It really is a wonderful story, multi-dimensional with a great take on the characters. It is really angsty at times, but also very lovely at others. All characters are well-developed with a lot of details to their story which made me care for all of them so deeply. We see a lot of different stories that form this wonderful fic. It’s just really, really wonderful. If you are in for a little pain, a little smut and a lot of action and fun, read it!

By the way, there is also a playlist available to go with the fic. ;)

#arrow #olicity #olicity fic #olicity fic rec

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yukiminamoto · 8 years

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Elizabeth Midford: Character Analysis Part 2

I tag these people for the amazing things they do for the Kuroshitsuji fandom! I hope this analysis on Elizabeth Midford is to everyone’s liking! I did my best. Please enjoy! Ya’ll know when to inspire someone me! Thank you all the fan-artists, the bloggers who do AMAZING META in their respective fandoms, and the people who support this girl in general! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. I dedicate this whole blog post to you guys!

@shinigami-mistress @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly @his-fiancee @sieglinde-sullivan @a-bitter-master @skania @queenzelda @eecmidford @cielizzydefencesquad @lizzy-phantomhive @lizmidford @thedarkestcrow @otakusiren @darkspellmaster @dorkshadows @silyabeeodess @akuma-de-shitsuji @i-like-phanime

I’m currently spending my Friday writing up this post for the last 4 hours, getting my thoughts together. I’ve never thought that I would write something this big with this many references to Elizabeth Midford posts from other bloggers who love her as much as I do, including pictures, screencaps, and manga caps, but what can you do when inspiration hits you like a truck?

I should be doing my weekly blogs for my classes and getting ready for my NUMEROUS group projects in all of my classes, but no I decided to spend 4 hours in the college library writing this bad girl up like it’s a final report that’s due in 30 fucking minutes. Fuck My life.

And yes, I’m citing my sources. Dear god, it’s like a fucking final report on who Elizabeth is and how she fits into the story. Jesus. You guys better be happy that I’m doing this! I worked hard on this damn it!

And thank you to all the bloggers that I used as references & adding more character analysis on my golden haired bae than I could ever cover on one blog post.

Kuro Chapter References:

Ch. 37 | Ch. 51 | Ch. 58 | Ch. 66 | Ch. 117

Elizabeth Midford Posts (more character analysis if you can’t get enough and want more):

Chapters 58 & 117 by @skania

A Second Look at Madam Red's Advice to Lizzy by @shinigami-mistress

How Precious Lizzy is to Ciel by @otakusiren

Ciel’s Precious: Elizabeth by @otakusiren

Ciel and Lizzy: something special that happened on the boat… by @darkspellmaster

About Elizabeth by @dorkshadows

Reminder about Elizabeth by @lizmidford

Reflecting on the Kuroshitsuji Easter Chapter: by @silyabeeodess

Kuroshitsuji Positivity Day @akuma-de-shitsuji

Rant: Respect Elizabeth Midford @i-like-phanime

I should write a fanfic about her thoughts (we rarely see her at all during the Lizzy Kidnapped arc). And when Lizzy does show up, she only gives us more questions. I hope Yana-Sensei does her justice. My girl deserves it.

I mean, it’s hard and easy at the same time to see WHY she’s agreeing to go with Mr. Strange ( I keep forgetting his name honestly.)

Yeah, it’s going to be a LONG ASS POST. Sit tight and grab a drink and some food. I’m heading deep into Elizabeth Midford’s character in Kuroshitsuji. She’s so underappreciated in this fandom, I swear.

Superficial and bubbly on the outside, deep as fuck with huge angst hidden behind a mask on the inside.

It hit me that EVEN HARDER (in this mangacap in Chapter 133) she does care about Ciel deeply and even very misguided in her attempts to make him feel open to his feelings/trauma about his past when he was kidnapped as a child.

People tend to forget that Elizabeth is a teenager with TONS of baggage on her hands as well. The way many fans in the Kuroshitsuji fandom treat her as an annoyance and bother really gets under my skin.

If you had to go through society’s expectations of being a proper woman and at the same time feeling pressured to protect your future husband later down the line, you would feel very conflicted and confused at best.

EVERYONE needs to know that she is a teenager who lives in a society where if you are a noble girl from a very prestigious family, you are going to have to get married at one point or another (spinsterhood was look at with horror and revulsion). At a very young age, Lizzy path was already set for her: See chapter 58 for more information.

Hell, Frances sympathizes with her daughter, even if she disagreed with not continuing her training. Her mother slaps her for speaking out.

And yet, Frances knows what path she’s forcing her daughter to walk since she was born in the Watchdog family. This rare, and touching moment between mother & daughter is so significant. Frances knows how important this sort of training is to Lizzy as a mother and aunt. It’s unconventional training, but if Lizzy can survive being the Wife of the Watchdog, then she’s going to train Elizabeth the hard way.

Frances only wants to protect her kids and Lizzy accepts her fate with tears in her eyes. At that moment she knows that Lizzy can’t run away. She has to continue her training no matter what. This was the pivotal moment she choose to make that vow to protect her beloved cousin.

At the very least, she grew to love Ciel as a person and feared that if she showed that she was more powerful/masculine (gender dynamics were pretty strict back in the day too.) he wouldn’t love her. It goes to show how much of an impact Ciel made on her as a child.

She cared for what he thought of her so deeply, that she took those words to heart later on in the years.

She wanted to help Ciel and protect him to the best of her ability. She knows what she’s doing is wrong (in her own eyes and her family’s eyes) but she feels very strongly that this is the only way to save him.

See Chapter 117 for more information.

Her has two personalities at this point: cheerful,immature, bright, VERY socially aware of her surroundings, and slightly overbearing, but chapter 117 shows us that she has another side to her she hides extremely well.

See Chapter 51 as reference.

With her fight with Sebastian, she uses EVERY OUNCE OF HER TRAINING TO NOT GO BACK. She has to stay no matter what. It shows that she’s not as air headed as she portrayed herself. She can be stubborn, selfish, headstrong, and conflicted.

Like, A FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD WENT UP AGAINST A DEMON. A DEMON. YA’LL DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I FEEL WHEN SHE FOUGHT AGAINST SEBASTIAN. HOLY SHIT. Why is the fandom not crying out with joy about this? I know Lizzy fans were freaking the fuck out when ch. 117 came out.

It shows so much of her character in that chapter, I wanted to hug my girl and never let go.

I was inspired by this AMAZING POST. Check it out! I mean from Ch. 58 to Ch. 117 compare the two please:

Before

After

Elizabeth Midford has changed so much throughout Kuroshitsuji. It’s funny really how Yana-sensei slowly shows who Lizzy is subtly until it hits everyone in the face in Chapter 57.

At first, we thought the same thing as Ciel: She was kind, overbearing, and very forceful in getting what she wants. That was how Lizzy wanted to be seen as.

She’s in-tune to how Ciel feels as early as chapter 37 when she visits.

When she figured out that Ciel was bedridden from Soma, she was worried about Ciel not opening up to her.

Sebastian reassured her that Ciel was all right and Lizzy was relieved and slightly skeptical.

Even if the fans didn’t see it initially, when she slowly integrated herself within Ciel’s inner circle, she’s very much emotionally intelligent from the get go. Even if her ways of cheering up Ciel was a bit much, she admitted it to Sebastian privately.

It’s funny how Ciel shortly AFTER the Campania Arc, in chapter 66 he was also tricked by Lizzy despite “knowing” and accepting Elizabeth for who she was strength an all.

It’s ironic, seeing that Ciel felt successful in tricking her in order to make her happy, Lizzy knew something was wrong the moment he “remembered” their Easter tradition.

She then wonders what happened to him during that month he was kidnapped.

It’s obvious that he’s changed into a completely different person because of the trauma he went through.

She knows that he’s changed and she’s trying her best to see him smile again despite the fact that forcing him to be happy/cheerful isn’t very good for his mental, emotional, and physical health over all.

But when you’re also broken, conflicted in where you stand in life, especially at such a young and impressionable age and a girl at that, it’s “hard to pick up the pieces” after someone who’s also suffered trauma in an untold amount.

What I personally want is an heart-to-heart conversation between the two of them. They’re both trying to push the other person away while at the same time, they’re both conflicted at how emotionally, mentally, and physically different they are from each other. They’re both flawed characters who misunderstand what the other wants.

They really don’t know how to open up to each other and are hiding things that can be detrimental to their relationship.

Ciel is hiding and closing Lizzy away from his lifestyle in order to protect her from the dangers of being in the Watchdog’s family; a life she’s, ironically enough has been training all of her life for.

While Lizzy is trying and failing at making Ciel happy while at the same time trying to figure out where she stands with him as a person. She has a HUGE complex within herself in how to become a perfect Victorian Lady and how to be a woman who can protect the person she loves the most.

They’re both complex, broken, and fragile. At the peak of this arc, I hope that Lizzy finds herself as a person, not as Ciel’s fiancee she’s been told all throughout her life. I hope that Ciel is at least honest with her on how he feels about her and to reassure her that she’s fine the way she is.

I want them to talk without Sebastian or anyone on the outside to interfere with their relationship and I know that’s almost never going to happen.

And what do you guys think about Lizzy and the pressures she has to go through to conforming while simultaneously trying to hide who she is underneath?

I’m gonna quote George R.R. Martin since it matches Elizabeth so well:

My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.— George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

#Elizabeth Midford #Ciel Phantomhive #Kuroshitsuji #Kuroshitsuji Meta #Lizzy midford #sebastian michaelis #CielIzzy #Ciel X Lizzy #Lizzy X Ciel

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