#the man knows comedy ! i'll give him that

[moongothic]

The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people

Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer

But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.

No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.

But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck

So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???

But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery

Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus

What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV

Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)

But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.

But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy

So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)

Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic

-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?

Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???

(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)

I just.

There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.

And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one

[brightyearning]

i almost hate to say it, but the season 3 finale of Dave was one of the funniest things i've seen in recent memory

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞

Pairing: childhood bff!Chan x fem!reader (non-idol au) Word count: 3.4k Genre: Fluff 🥰💖, Smut 🔥❤️ (angst if you squint) Warning: Weddings... (lord help me), pro best friend chan, mentions of familial favoritism, semi rough sex? , soft dom!chan, sweet name calling(babygirl, princess), slightly jealous chan, comfort, lord someone teach me how to make better warnings, i think thats all? (someone needs to teach me to proof read.)

A/N: THANK YOU FOR 100 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU <3 I'm working on improving the formating of my works so >.> bare with me if some of the stuff doesnt translate over well on different devices, especially the text message part >.>

When you were young, you often got compared to your sister, your sister who loved pink and poodles and tutu skirts. She was younger than you by a year and yet, she always out did you, always was a step ahead, always beating you in everything. Yeah, you loved her, but the pain of comparison drove a wedge between you two.

You were 5 when you met Chan. He was very silly, always playing games and smiling, you happened to attend the same school and after he stood up for you against an older boy at the park you two were inseparable.

Chan, who sang for you. Chan, who shared his food with you. Chan, who taught you how to dance. Chan, who teased you for acting like a nerd. Chan, who was your best friend.

Chan was sitting on the couch in your apartment, watching a cringey romantic comedy with you when your phone rang. You gave it a glance and cringed, your grandmother's name appeared on the screen with a image of the woman with an almost plastic smile.

"You should probably answer." Chan said, "Would make it worse if you didn't."

You gave your best friend a side eye. "Nah really?"

He laughed lightly as you answered the phone.

"Hi, honey, you are joining us this year for the whole family get-together aren't you?" The old woman's voice came through the speaker to your ear.

"Of course Grandma-" You started.

"That's what you said last year, and you didn't come."

You made a face, the reason you hadn't gone was because you were sick. "Things happen Grandma."

"And the year before that?"

You pursed your lips, glancing at Chan. You weren't avoiding your family really you were just... avoiding the conflict that ensued when you were with your family. And by conflict you meant the constant onslaught of questions and disappointed looks you got whenever your family asked about anything you were doing with your life.

"And anyway, it's been so long since we've heard from you, we want to see how you've been, keep the family together, bring new people in along the way." Your grandma sounded so happy.

"What do you mean?" You were confused by the "bring new people".

"Oh dear. Did your sister not tell you?" Your grandma sighed, "She has a surprise for us this year."

You sighed. Your little sister always was one better than you, or two, or ten...

"Y/n?" Your grandma's voice brought you out of your daze and Chan leaned forward looking at your face.

"I'll be there this year grandma, I promise."

"Alright. Bye bye honey."

"Bye..." You said in a small voice hanging up.

Chan smiled slightly at you. "So?"

"Help."

His eyes widened slightly before darting around. "You know I really would if I could read minds but it's awfully sad I cant."

You rolled your eyes at the man. "My family dislikes everything I do."

"And?" Chan leaned back, raising a brow.

"They don't dislike you."

"What are you trying to do here?"

You clasped your hands and gave your best friend the most innocent pure pleading gaze. "Come with me, so they won't hate on me."

Chan made a face. "No-"

"I'll pay for the wifi in your apartment for the next two- four months." You grabbed your friend's big hands in yours, "Please!"

"Just because they don't hate me doesn't mean they won't hate on you." Chan said exasperated.

"BUT they'll find someone to compare to you so I won't have to be put down by this." You give him a pleading look.

"Y/n. I've done a lot of dum shit before this is my limit."

"Channie!" You begged. "Come on! I'll pay your netflix subscription too!"

Chan groaned. "Fine! You're making me feel guilty."

"AH! You're the best Chan." You smiled hugging you friend.

He rolled his eyes and patted your hair. "You're lucky netflix is expensive."

So there you were dinner, with your family, your grandmother quick to jump and compliment Chan and compare your father and uncles to him when they were his age. Everyone complimenting your sister and asking her what the big news was. Your dad looked about ready to leave when your younger sister stood. tapping her spoon against her glass gently.

You looked at her, she smiled at you, a smile you couldn't read.

"I have a big announcement to make." She looked at her boyfriend. "Well.. we have a big announcement to make."

"What is it dear?" Your mother asked.

"We're getting married!" Your little sister jumped and smiled. Everyone started clapping.

The initial excitement and congratulations ended, leaving a gently chattering at the table.

Cue your grandmother.

"Y/n dear, what about you?"

Silence.

Everyone looked at you.

Your sister sighed slightly. "Granny, you can't pester her. Give her time, she might get married before 40."

A soft laugh rippled over the table, you stared at your little sister. She smiled innocently, your fist clenched under the table. So what if she was younger and prettier and more successful. You made a move to excuse yourself but Chan grabbed your fist under the table, you relaxed your grip and his fingers slipped between yours and squeezed gently. Your heart skipped a beat and you looked up at your best friend, smiling.

Her Majesty the Queen 01:53 She was obviously out to get you.

Butt Hunter 01:53 I agree

🐶 01:54 Go to the wedding in white.

Baby Chick 01:54 💀

. Me 01:54 I'm NOT going to my sister's wedding in white!

Beanie boy 01:54 He's giving real solutions here.

Squirrel 01:55 Just don't go?

Bread. 01:55 All you do is avoid conflict.

Squirrel 01:55 NO I DONT

Noodle Spirit Survivor. 01:56 shut up. it's 2 in the fucking morning.

. Me 01:56 Sorry Chan, we'll shut up now.

Beanie boy 01:56 Erm actually it's 1:56 AM

🐶 01:56 It's called silent old man.

Bread. 01:56 LMFAO

Baby Chick 01:56 LOL

Butt Hunter 01:56 I don't think his phone box has a silent button.

Squirrel 01:57 😭

Her Majesty the Queen 01:57 💀

You put your phone down and picked up the invitation to your sister's wedding, 4 months... all you had was 4 months to get someone to go to the wedding with. You sighed, going to the app store and downloaded for the nth time, tinder. Cringing.

You had four months to at least meet some expectations, get a nice guy for maybe a month or two, ask him to be your plus one to your sister's wedding then what? You shrugged to yourself and shoved your phone under your pillow before going to sleep.

Chan realized he was screwed, he watched you get ready for another date.

"Honestly." You sighed sitting down to put on your makeup. "I might just go with a random guy. Or maybe I could take Hyunjin or Jisung."

He pursed his lips. Was he even an option for you? What made this guy from tinder so important you had to doll yourself up to go see him. Chan bit his lip, you were his best friend, he could fix the problem, he could be your plus one, he could ask. but he didn't. He was too scared to.

He remembered his conversation with Changbin and Minho a few days earlier. Maybe he was being too much of a pussy. He'd known you for ages, he knew how you liked your coffee and the music that calmed you down, he knew what part in silly romance movies made you cry, he knew when you were uncomfortable and when you were too angry to speak.

"If you keep beating around the bush with how you feel you might never get a chance."

Changbin's words rang in his ears and he bit his lip.

"Y/n what if-" He started.

The doorbell rang as you finished applying your lip stick. "Oh, I gotta go Channie." You stood and hugged him. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." Chan gave you a small smile and the moment you were out the door he was cursing himself for not stopping you. "Damnit."

Chan wished he hadn't wished you luck. You and Seokmin, your date, apparently hit it off. For the next two and a half weeks Chan felt like a third wheel in his own friendship with you, if you weren't on the phone with Seokmin, you were texting him, and if you weren't texting him, you were talking about him.

It really came to a head when Hyunjin invited the entirety of the group chat to go out for karaoke and you were busy with Seokmin the day off.

It hand't really been his intention to show up at your place angry, just the thought of you not just ghosting him but the whole friend group. He knocked a few times. no response.

Chan knocked again. he still got no response. Sure the key in the dirt of the potted plant hanging under the sign of your apartment number was for emergencies only, but this was an emergency. (to him anyway.)

Chan opened the door and entered your apartment, expecting to hear lewd sounds or... what else was he really expecting. But as he approached your door his heart ached. It wasn't a sound he heard often from you but it was one he could recognize any day. Chan pushed the door open slowly. You sat on your bed, hugging a pillow, eyes red and puffy, tears streaking your face, you didn't notice him until he closed the door gently behind himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

You quickly wiped your tears. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Chan sighed. "Come here." He sat on the bed and opened his arms.

You leaned into him muttering, "Seokmin is a dumass."

"What happened?" Chan asked, rubbing your shoulder gently.

"He blocked me." You sniffed. "Out of the fucking blue."

Chan hummed softly. "His loss."

You looked up at your friend, "You're so dum."

"Nuh uh, I think I'm pretty smart princess." Chan smiled gently.

"I don't think so." You laughed softly.

He looked down at you. "'M smart enough to stay your friend."

You nod slightly, "I stayed attached to you at the hip is more like it."

"Didn't have a problem with it."

"Chan." You rubbed your friend's arm.

"Hm?"

"Go with me."

"Where?" he asked dumbly.

You sat up and flicked his forehead. "You know where."

"I don't get anything out of it." He rubbed his forehead.

"I'll uh..."

"Worry about it later." He huffed and stood, smoothing your hair. "Should we get (comfort food)?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask." You punched him softly and led the way out of your room.

The day of the wedding you were wearing a long pastel blue dress, and Chan a matching suit, it wasn't the first time you'd matched with your best friend, but this felt more special. Your grandmother and parents gave you side ways glances during the wedding procession, and once the reception had started so did your grandma's vulture like flocking.

"Y/N i really thought you would've come with someone other than Chan, maybe your sister was right you just need time." the old woman sighed.

You sucked in a breathe but Chan grabbed your hand under the table, his words making you freeze, "Is there a problem with me attending as her boyfriend?"

You turned to Chan and he squeezed your hand as if urging you to play along.

Your grandmother looked at you stunned. "What? Since when?"

"The dinner really opened my eyes, maybe guys don't approacher because I'm around, I do look like her boyfriend don't I?" He glanced at you, "Why not give it a shot?"

Your family must have heard your grandmother's cry because your mother and father came over a few moments later and you watched as Chan worked his charm, a mask on his face the entirety of the time.

Your sister looked between you and Chan, blinking quite a bit. As your parents congratulated you on not being single for the first time, you felt like you out did your sister, you looked at Chan, he smiled gently at you and your heart jumped.

After a lot of drinks and cake you decided it was time to head home.(Chan had to drag you out.)

The ride back to your apartment was quiet, you were too buzzed to speak and Chan was focused on driving.

Chan smiled softly, glancing at you. "Wasn't so bad was it?"

You took a moment before you spoke. "Did you mean what you said?"

Chan's brows furrowed, "About what?"

"Did you actually think of me like that after the dinner?" You looked at him.

Chan sucked a breath, squeezing the wheel. "Would you believe me if I said yes."

"I don't have a reason not to."

Chan pulled off the highway onto the smaller road that lead through the city and to your apartment.

"Well?" You asked.

Chan bit his lip and nodded. "I meant what I said."

You remained quiet until he pulled into your apartment complex. And even after he got you into your apartment. You stood there, looking at... Chan. Chan who knew you better than you knew yourself, Chan who always calmed you down, Chan who got angry for you, Chan who bought you food when you were sad and held you until you grew tired of it(you never did you never could), Chan your...

"You meant it?" You were completely sober now, picking up the conversation as if you hadn't been silent for the past half hour.

Chan nodded.

"Is that all there is to it?"

"No." he breathed, stepping closer to you.

"Tell me. What else?" You asked quietly.

"How do I even begin?" He laughed slightly. "I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing?" You looked at him confused.

"For not telling you how I felt from the get go." he smiled, "If there's anything that makes me sleep at night it's you, if there's any place I feel safe it's with you. You make me more happy than I can describe with words alone, there isn't another person I'd be with in any life." He reached and caressed your cheek. "I wanted to fight myself when I let you go out with Seokmin. I want you, I need you, I..." He paused, scanning your face for a signal, any sign to keep going.

"You're going to shut up now when you're at the climax of your speech?" You laughed slightly.

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "I love you. I always have."

"You're really an idiot." You kissed him gently.

Chan blinked in shock. "I-"

You smiled, proud of yourself. "Now-"

Chan grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours again, you stared for a moment before relaxing into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck. His tongue fighting yours before he pushed into your mouth to taste you, biting your lip gently.

"Wanted to do that for so long." He breathed against your lips, pulling away slowly.

You grabbed his collar. "If you don't finish what you started I will."

Chan's eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face. He kissed you again and his hand moved to the back of your dress. "May I, princess?"

"You may." You giggled as he removed the dress and your made quick work of his buttons before he shrugged off the jacket and shirt, picking you up and carrying you to the bed.

You squeaked as he threw you onto the bed and got on top you. "Nervous?" he asked laughing lightly.

"No... Of course not." You said looking away.

He smiled and turned your head to face him kissing you passionately before he moved to suck a dark mark just next to your jaw. "So pretty, just for me."

You gasped softly and nodded. "Just for you Channie." Chan continued his assault on your neck before removing your bra and smiling at your chest, he kissed your lips gently. "This is my favorite part of you," He moved to kiss your chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth and biting gently, relishing in the cry that escaped your lips, "But this is second best."

You blushed, "Stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" Chan chuckled against your right breast, pinching the left.

"You-"

"Huh?" He kissed down your belly and bit hard beside your belly button.

"Ow-" You gasped and grabbed his hair.

"Gotta make sure they know you're taken if you wear a crop top." he murmured and moved lower kissing your thigh and pulling your legs apart. "This is mine hm? I think I waited for it long enough." He kissed your thigh before pulling your pantie off. He tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder. He took amount to admire you and you shifted slightly.

"Channie. You're staring." You muttered.

"That a problem princess?"

"Pervert." You rolled your eyes as Chan tugged you to the edge fo the bed.

He rubbed your clit with his thumb applying just enough pressure to make you moan, he smiled. "That feel good?"

You nodded, panting.

"Use your words." He said rubbing your clit a bit faster.

You moaned and tried to move away but his hand came to hold you down. "No, no."

You blushed, "Meanie."

He smirked kissing your belly before slipping a finger into you. You moan as your wall clenched around his digit, he moved it in and out slowly, thumb still working at your clit.

You gasped and bit your lip as he pushed another finger into you. He paused looking at you.

"What?" You tried to move for friction but he held you down.

"I want to hear you."

You blushed furiously, eyes wide.

Chan laughed lightly and started fingering you again, his middle and ring finger curling to find your g-spot.

You let out a loud cry and Chan smiled, he moved to kiss you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, he started grinding his palm into your clit as his fingers moved deeper. You moaned into the kiss and squealed, legs kicking slightly. Chan slid a third finger into you and you squirmed.

"It's too much!" You whined.

"I think you can take it." He said kissing your neck, "Just a little bit more, princess, wanna feel you cum on my hand."

You moaned louder as he pinched your nipple, sucking on the other one. You gasped as he started grinding his tented crotch against your thigh.

"Are you going to cum for me?" he cooed into your ear. "Cum for me, please, princess."

You moaned loudly as you came hard on Chan's hand.

He hummed and lifted his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean before leaning to kiss you. "You taste good babygirl." He stood to remove his pants letting them fall to the floor.

You moaned at the lewdness of the action as Chan moved between your legs, tapping his cock against your clit.

"I'm gonna make you feel good, make you mine." He said, his voice thick with lust.

You bit your lip and nodded. "Please. "

Chan smiled kissing you gently as he pushed into you.

A throaty moan erupted from your throat and Chan groaned. "Sound so pretty," He pulled out slowly and pushed in deeply, you cried out at the slight burn. "I'm sorry baby," He kissed your cheeks gently. "Can I move now?"

You nod and before you could ground yourself Chan was pistoning into you, fucking you as if he wouldn't get to again. You held onto him tightly, clawing at his broad shoulders. He moaned and squeezed your hips tightly. "You're so tight princess."

He moaned softly against your neck, kissing and biting, leaving marks that would surely become hickeys by morning, as he rutted into you over and over. You moaned louder, panting into the heated kisses he granted you. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall with the force of it all, the sound of sin slapping against skin filling your bedroom, you were positive the neighbors could hear but it wasn't like you had room to care.

Chan's hand slipped between your bodies and he began rubbing your clit. "C'mon baby. Cum for me again."

Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as he began thrusting into you harder, hitting your g-spot.

"Cum for me princess." He said through grit teeth.

Another thrust sent you toppling over the edge and you came hard, vision going white as you let out a broken cry. Chan followed quickly, his thick length throbbing inside you as you milked him for everything he had. He kept thrusting his gaze distant and glassy.

You whimpered and trembled as he overstimulated you slightly. After a few more thrusts he finally slowed down and relaxed on top of you.

"Let me take you out on a date..." He muttered against your shoulder.

"I'd like that." You said running your fingers through his curly hair.

What da cringe ending 😭 I really want to thank everyone for 100 followers LOVE YALL <3 requests will reopen soon, I'm still busy with school but I hoped you liked this it took really long to make.

[pseudowho]

Hiromi Higuruma Relationship HCs

(help me find the Higuruma artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)

For our other favourite tuckered-out hardworking man of JJK...

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

- First of all, this man knows he's intense. Whether he's tired of life, or fighting for someone's life, he worries he's just going to cause a partner stress, so he generally avoids relationships. -Not that he doesn't want a relationship, he does; but he knows he wants someone smart, someone who can see the dark comedy of life, and someone who can argue. - Because let's face it - Hiromi Higuruma will argue with anyone about anything He needs someone to share his burning passion; it doesn't have to be about the same thing. - He feels like his standards are unrealistically high, and he won't make these demands of someone, he needs it to happen organically.

✨ and then Hiromi Higuruma finds you ✨

- You're in front of him in the line at the bar, having a fight with the guy in front of you, who was rude to the girl on the tills - And you just roast this guy - Hiromi's having the time of his life, he only wanted a beer but now he's getting a whole show - This guy crawls off, having been used to mop the floor, and you just shake it off, leaning over the bar to apologise to the girl on the tills, and order your drink - Higuruma leans past you; "I'll get hers" - You look at him, and he holds his hands up placatingly; "With no expectation," he says, "nice work with that arsehole. Have one on me." - So obviously, you talk all night - The bar staff come over in the small hours and hoik you out, because you're still talking; Higuruma is smitten- you're witty, dry, bright and immediately happy to talk about bigger things, and he feels so alive - You go out, and it's freezing, and Hiromi feels awkward and guilty for keeping you out so late - Gives you his jacket to keep you warm while he gets you home safely - Sad to leave you at your door, doesn't think to ask you for your number, because he just doesn't see someone seeing him that way until--

- "All that, and you don't even ask me for my number?"

- He stutters - No Higuruma left, brain gone walkies - You tap your number into his phone, doing the drop-call in case Higuruma doesn't

✨ You fall first, but Higuruma falls harder

- To save himself from disappointment, Higuruma insists to himself through so many coffee dates and dinners, trips to museums and galleries, and long walks in the park, that you're just friends - He's so used to crushing disappointment at work, he can't take it from you too - Until one day as you're raging against the machine to him, the love hits him like a bus - You're just waiting for the train to arrive together - And he leans in and kisses you, so softly but so convicted - The train whooshes into the station, rushing you both with warm air, but you're so lost in each other, one of his hands on your waist now to bring you closer while yours tangles in his hair to pull his lips harder to yours, because - Finally - You thought he'd never make a move

✨ After this, you're inseparable; as far as Higuruma is concerned, the hardest part (working out if you're in love) is done. He's absolutely decided you're the one, so that's settled, the man knows his own damn mind

- And he treats you like a man who knows what he wants - He's totally committed, but not showy - This man absolutely has your back, through thick and thin - Will fight your fights for you, but knows he doesn't have to - You read together, a lot. He massages your feet on his lap while you counsel him through the difficulties of another tricky case. You take long baths, working through at least one bottle of wine together, and his foot creeps past you to turn the hot tap on again because he's not ready to get out yet. - Higuruma takes it as a personal insult when you're sad, or upset, or have had a bad day, and curses the cruel world you live in for upsetting you...while throwing blankets over you, making you tea, making sure the house is tidy - Making you happy is his pride and duty - But if you do argue, it absolutely must be resolved. This man will not tolerate silent treatments or going to bed unhappy with each other, anything that can be talked through will be talked through - Absolutely loves quietly ragging on strangers with you, this man gets life from the absurd comedy of people-watching bad or stupid people - Always the first to put the kettle on if you have tea to spill - His bad days are bad, and sometimes his anger at the world seems so great, he must surely be angry at you too - But you stay patient, reassuring, a lighthouse in his darkness and God does he adore you for it - Once this man has decided to commit to you, there is no changing his mind, you've got to ride this one your whole life now

✨ NSFW ✨

- Fairly tall, slim, average guy build. The kind of soft abs of a guy who works like a racehorse - Secretly packing - His big dick energy in Court translates across - His breakdown in his 30s makes him pretty unashamed to tell you what he wants and give you what you want in the bedroom - Views it as an absolute personal failing if he doesn't make you cum at least twice - I mean come on, there's enough injustice in the world without bad sex - Loves it when you ride him after a long day at work, but he'll get mean if he thinks you're slacking - "*sigh* I know you fuck as well as you fight, so is that what you want? A fight?" - Full of praise when you bounce that pussy up and down his cock, stroking your hips and clit, determined you should share your pleasure - Also, sneak into his office at the courts, I dare you - Mother Justice looking down on you with her scales as you take his beautiful cock into your mouth while Higuruma moans without shame; or, the Newton's Cradle on his desk clattering as Higuruma bends you over, absolutely railing you with a wild look in his eyes, holding his black hair out of his eyes with one hand while he squeezes your arse with another, secretly hoping his colleagues are drinking in your squeaks and whimpers outside the door

(they are and they're so pleased) (Higuruma has looked stressed out lately) (maybe a good fuck will cheer him up)

- When he has had a very bad day prepare to be outrageously overstimulated by him, his lips and tongue and that nose working on your clit over and over while you cry and reach out for purchase on anything while you cum over and over, tears dripping back into your hair - "Can't do it? Nonsense. Hold onto the headboard. I won't be done for a while."

Overall, 10/10, husband material if you can weather those storms.

[luveline]

steve or sirius established relationship! just them being flirty and cute and in love! having a wonderful day! maybe reader is shy but also super loud when you get to know her 🌷🌷🌷 CONGRATS ON 40K YOU DESERVE IT

luveline's 40k party ☆ tysm!! boyfriend sirius x shy fem!reader

"I'm not watching that!" 

Sirius flicks through movies, ignoring your protests to offer up another horror. "Why not?" he asks when you shake your head. 

"Because! It'll scare me and you'll just laugh," you say. 

Sirius slides a finger through your belt loop and tries to push you into a spin. You keep your footing and push his chest in retaliation. He doesn't even pretend to feel it. "It'll scare you and I'll get to give you a cwtch to make it better, doesn't that sound nice?" he asks teasingly. 

You sidestep him to poke at the comedy's instead. Sirius follows, sidling up behind you like you're not in the middle of the supermarket. "You know you want to," he says, voice dipping down to a murmur, his lips skimming the side of your neck. 

You squirm but can't escape his hands on your hips, breath catching in your throat as he lays a soft kiss down. 

"Don't, babe, people will see," you say, tickled by the scratch of his stubble. 

"Free show," he says, kissing with more pressure. 

You weasel out of his grasp and point a warning finger at him. His eyebrows jump. You quickly drop the finger, taking small, measured steps backward so as not to bump into anyone. "Don't start." 

"I'm not starting," he says, starting, ditching your trolley to stalk you from the film section to the printer inks. 

"Sirius, don't! You always do this when we're in the shops and it is so embarrassing!" you whisper-shout furiously.

"What's embarrassing about being in love?" he asks loudly. 

You cringe. You hate this sort of thing, despise public displays of affection, and what's worse is that Sirius knows it, so half the time he's not even kissing you because he wants to, he's doing it to wind you up. You check behind you, worried you'll walk into something expensive, and Sirius creeps forward, a delighted smile on his face. 

"Dove, come back!" he says, like he doesn't love the chase. 

Your cheeks glow hot with a shame-faced flush. "Get lost, Siri, please." 

You back all the way into a corner. Defeated, you watch your boyfriend approach one smug step at a time. He doesn't look like the kind of man to corner a young woman such as yourself. He's handsome in an awful way, like he just nipped to Tesco's between shooting an aftershave advert. His hair is freshly cut but still long enough for his curls to glow slick under the fluorescents, and his eyes are grey like heavy clouds. Lips you can still feel on your neck curl into a salacious smile, his hand finally close enough to hold your arm. 

"Just one kiss?" he asks. 

You sigh. "Sure," you say, knowing it's a lie. 

You get one kiss, a second, all warm and sweet but rougher as they go on. A third kiss, a forth, his curious fingers running lines down the sensitive arc of your sides. You laugh against his mouth and forget where you are when he laughs back, the sound smothered as he dips in for more kissing. 

[soulrph]

chaotic unhinged lines from 2022-2023 (prompt edition).

basically in 2021 i made a list of prompts inspired by lines in tiktok videos and instagram reels that made me laugh so hard i cried! and now i have returned with another list! these may provide an alarmingly clear image of what my sense of humor is (aka broken) but i figure a little levity is always a good thing! more prompts are forthcoming, but in the mean time: bon appetit!

knowledge has always chased you, but you've always been faster.

no... no, that was mango apathy juice. from the farmer's market.

of all these people, you are the one i understand the least. i want to get to know you better, but like, not that much better.

i-i will CHEW YOUR MEAT!! WHAT are you doing?!

ooooh god, no, you wouldn't be long getting frostbit!

you are evil. like a hobbit.

WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!?!!?

i have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

AHEM!! fill my cup.

may god ignore you like you ignored my greetings.

i will avenge you mister van gogh.

call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder. here's fifteen dollars.

you're not in love. you may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.

go ahead and put the ranch away.

sadly, "hopefully" doth butter no parsnips.

forget school, i want to be an italian sandwich.

you shouldn't skip work, you are a lawyer and he is a hamster.

you can stop roleplaying now. you're free.

her coupon game was so fucking raw.

i'm sorry guys... he's making a salad.

you could get a straight guy here if you learned to make a good pasta. i'll teach you how to make a risotto that'll get you married and out of my basement.

hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have night meats?

it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

no, children, you're wrong. once upon a time, there was a piece of wood.

and i'm not saying she deserved it, but i am saying that god's timing is always riiiiight.

hydrate or die-drate, ya DICK!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD.

new york city is a fictional place written up by someone with a sinister mind and a knack for comedy.

this is grindr my guy.

wait, i didn't finish teaching you the difference between human and wolf anatomy.

it's time to tell your grandmother that she was wrong. do not be afraid.

vanilla vodka... you fucking child.

without ash to rise from, a phoenix would just be a bird getting up.

you are fucking alive. do what you want.

why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? this isn't how guys of my generation hang out.

i hope a hedgehog shits in your cereal, you difficult person.

you know, i am not as mean as i would like to be. and i think people should appreciate that more.

see, i am not a kangaroo.

well, i'd like to help, but... you see... not as much as i'd like not to.

rest in peace you fucking onion fairy.

when god sings with all his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

i fight for a seat in heaven, every. single. day.

map maker? can you find me somewhere on the map where this big man thinks he's the king?

you bald-headed demon...

so... there are 24 million pigs in australia... and 24 million people... so if you ever feel lonely, there's like, a pig out there that's sort of your cosmic twin.

remember, alcohol is god's apology for making us self-aware.

i'm straight!! stop CONFUSING me!!!!!

you guys want something to eat? because... i know we'll die if we don't eat.

he is a BIBLICALLY gorgeous man. i wanna feed him grapes. i wanna fan him with the frond of a date palm from the forests of Lebanon. i wanna find the alabaster vial of perfume oil that one woman broke for jesus and comb it through his hair. like... he's stressing me OUT.

i'm not sad! i'm freaking HUNGRY!

maybe, if we wait a little bit longer, a fuck will fall into my hand, and i can give it to you.

it's not my fault you thought you lived in this IKEA.

let's leave my mother out of this.

jason may kill people but he's not bad enough to kick a dog.

i run for LUMP!

oh no, i'm all out of caring, baby!

you don't think it mcbe that way... but it mcdo.

what is this enticing bowl of white?

serious question, do his nipples sparkle?

what in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?

if your parents don't buy it, stop loving them!

i just hope you know just how much you've decreased productivity today.

that was poetry at its FINEST.

and if you let that motherfucker shenan ONCE, you best believe they're gonna shenanIGAN!

may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took her mom to the hospital to give birth to her.

that's modern milk for ya. what a time to be alive.

you have attachment issues. please fix it.

remember when people had secrets? we should bring that back.

the moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal.

i don't like the cobra chicken.

i didn't know eggs were this expensive? it's time to lay my own, i fear.

so you're saying the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because i'm not a big enough threat yet.

god gave him a top lip, that's why he's so powerful.

it's a common mistake, but frankenstein was actually the author.

i finally got a pocket-sized diary!!! also i don't get the concept of life.

if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, i will immediately change my view. i've no principles.

how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?

if so much as one tear drops from their eye... i will slap you back into your mum.

you are ringing a phone that does not like to be rung.

look how Dr. doofenschmirtz had a fucked up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his teenage daughter. he projected it onto a platypus.

it is mathematically impossible for you to get a wedgie.

i'm breaking up with you. i love you, it's just... i don't think you could protect me from a mummy.

if you can't do fractions....... you will fucking die.

that's right; in the year 1791, all of our bottoms were killed in a Big Bottom Massacre.

people always assume i'm mean. like CAN you BELIEVE THAT CRAP?! like WHAT would make you think i'm MEAN?! I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!

the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal; another of god's little tests.

someone's gotta tell the waiter that i ordered mashed 'taters and it sure as shit ain't gonna be me.

if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.

[plutoswritingplanet]

Mortal Kombat 1 Intro Dialogues

a/n: some slightly flirty dialogues for suggested characters from Mortal Kombat 1 (and 11), reader is a blood mage, adjacent to "Unpunishable"

Warnings: Suggestive Language, Obscure References, Poor Attempts at Comedy

Shang Tsung

Shang Tsung: Liu Kang is squandering your potential.

Reader: I trust his judgement completely.

Shang Tsung: You were made for so much more.

...

Reader: You want me to make a deal with the Devil.

Shang Tsung: All I ask in return, is your soul.

Reader: It's too high a price!

...

Shang Tsung: I lay before you my eternal heart...

Reader: There is no love with you, only ownership.

Shang Tsung: I dearly love all of my possessions.

...

Reader: I must believe there's good even in the darkest corners of the world

Shang Tsung: Finding it in me might turn out to be a futile fight

Reader: I don't give up easily, Shang Tsung

...

Shang Tsung: Have you ever thought to say "stop"? "If you love me, you would stop?"

Reader: Not in a thousand years.

Shang Tsung: I see now, why we're destined for each other

...

Reader: The things you've been doing in your laboratories are vile

Shang Tsung: I've used the same magic, as the one coursing through your veins

Reader: Liar!

Liu Kang

Liu Kang: Empress Sindel has approved your application to study Outworld's medicine.

Reader: I'm honored by her trust.

Liu Kang: You'll do a splendid job as Earthrealm's ambassador.

...

Reader: I fear the pull of darkness overpowering me.

Liu Kang: I will guide you, until your mind is at peace.

Reader: What if it never ends?

...

Liu Kang: In the previous timeline, you were my close friend and adversary.

Reader: And in this timeline?

Liu Kang: I'm inclined to say the same.

...

Reader: Doesn't it get lonely, being a God?

Liu Kang: I'm devoted to protecting Earthrealm and its people.

Reader: You didn't answer my question.

...

Liu Kang: Beware Shang Tsung's honeyed words.

Reader: You've said we were destined for each other in all timelines.

Liu Kang: And your union always leads to your suffering.

...

Reader: You knew I'd reject Shang Tsung's offer? Fight him every step of the way?

Liu Kang: I had faith, you would make the right choice

Reader: Honestly, do you have music playing in your head when you say garbage like that

Johnny Cage

Johnny: Let me just say, there's no other place I would rather be, than right here with you right now.

Reader: I can change that very easily.

Johnny: Why so serious, sweet cheeks?

...

Reader: No, Johnny, I won't be playing in any of your movies, ever.

Johnny: Can I ask why?

Reader: Why I don't want the job that makes your brain explode?

...

Johnny: You might wanna reconsider your rendezvous with the Sorcerer.

Reader: Which one?

Johnny: Oh, you are a bad woman.

...

Reader: Don't be such a baby, it's just a scrap.

Johnny: And I need a hot nurse to patch it up.

Reader: Why do I even… You're impossible.

...

Johnny: You have experience with emotionally fragile men, right?

Reader: You're self-aware today.

Johnny: I was talking about Kung Lao...

...

Reader: Okay, Ninja Priest was actually kinda good.

Johnny: YES! I knew you had a thing for the clergy.

Reader: That's not what I... You're such an ass!

Kung Lao

Reader: Do you think Liu Kang has destined us to become friends?

Kung Lao: Obviously, I'd never choose this for myself.

Reader: He could've made you less of twat...

...

Kung Lao: It's way too dangerous for you to travel Outworld alone.

Reader: I don't need a babysitter, Kung Lao.

Kung Lao: Prove it, then.

...

Reader: If you buy me dinner at Madame Bo's, I'll heal your arm.

Kung Lao: I see your time with Shang Tsung is rubbing off on you.

Reader: See, now I gotta hurt ya.

...

Kung Lao: How does it feel, being in the center of the Snake's attention.

Reader: Fuck you man, I didn't ask for this.

Kung Lao: Not good then.

...

Reader: Come on, I paid for dinner last time.

Kung Lao: I'll be happy to pay... Once you beat me.

Reader: You can be an ass sometimes, you know that?

...

Kung Lao: You know I only meant it as a joke, right?

Reader: Let me show you just how funny I think you are

Kung Lao: Bring it on, Nurse.

Bi-Han

Reader: You betrayed everything your clan stood for.

Bi-Han: You have no moral high-ground here, Healer.

Reader: I don't need it.

...

Bi-Han: Join the Lin Kuei, and unleash your true power.

Reader: Not while they're under your command, traitor.

Bi-Han: Your pride will be your downfall.

...

Reader: I can feel your blood run cold through your body...

Bi-Han: It will boil while I destroy you.

Reader: You'll freeze to death, then.

...

Bi-Han: Your aversion to power is your greatest flaw.

Reader: Should I follow your lead, then, and betray all I love for a promise of greatness?

Bi-Han: Is it wrong to want more?

...

Reader: Maybe I can beat some sense into you…

Bi-Han: I will crush you, little girl.

Reader: Great, a quip about my height, so original.

...

Bi-Han: We meet again, Blood Mage.

Reader: I knew you couldn't stay away, Bi-Han.

Bi-Han: Let's see if your training has progressed.

Erron Black

(am i the only one devastated he wasn't included in mk1?)

Erron: What's a pretty lookin' thing like you doin' in a place like this?

Reader: Holy shit, you even talk like a cowboy!

Erron: …Nevermind.

...

Reader: If I win, I get to wear the hat.

Erron: You'd look mighty fine in it, I'd wager.

Reader: Don't you pull your punches on me now, Black.

...

Erron: There's quite the price on your head, sweetheart.

Reader: And you'll do everything to collect it, right?

Erron: I could be persuaded against it, with the right motivation...

...

Reader: Do you flirt with all your targets?

Erron: Only pretty little ones, like you, girlie.

Reader: Well then, let's dance, Cowboy.

...

Erron: I wouldn't mind giving you a ride around town, little lady.

Reader: I'd rather beat you where you stand.

Erron: Be still, my beating heart.

...

Reader: I know who sent you.

Erron: Someone who's eager to get their hands back on you.

Reader: You can both keep them to yourself.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the best kitty - jingyuan

summary; mimi is just too lovable.

genre/extra tags; i love big cats sm :(, jingyuan is a cat trapped inside a general /j, fluff, comedy, clingy jingyuan my beloved, reader is a certified cat lover, big stretch and big yawn !!! iykyk

[gender neutral! reader] [reader is not trailblazer]

word count; 537

a/n; jingyuan enjoyers everywhere, we all actually love mimi /j i love mimi, i want to see mimi in game, Madge >:( hoyo you cowards show us the big cat and let me pet em

"oh, mimi! hi baby!" you cooed as mimi slowly strides over to you, pushing its head against your leg. it chuffs, greeting you as if you were one of its kin. "you look so happy today!" you soon sit on the ground, petting the oversized cat.

from afar stands a lone general. a general who is more than willing to cuddle with his lover but alas the beauty of his impulse buy is stealing all of your attention.

"ack- mimi, you're so big! you're gonna squish me!" the lazy cat rests on your lap, yawning. "big yawn!" you scratch its chin. mimi stretches its head back. "you're so pretty! love you so much!" you press your face into mimi's fur.

"i'm pretty too." jingyuan whines. he dejectedly crawls over to you and mimi. "what about me?" he pouts, moving to rest his head on mimi's body. he looks at you as he tries to gain your attention.

"mm, i don't know..." you pretend to think. mimi twists its body and gets up, leaving the general on the floor. you snicker, "i think mimi is trying to tell me something. what is it, mimi?" mimi spins two times before settling right by your side and laying down its head on your lap. "i think mimi said no."

"okay but you didn't say no." he sits up, moving closer to you to lean his entire weight on you.

"jingyuan!" you yelp as you're forced to lay on the ground. "stop it! you're heavy!"

"but you don't complain when mimi is laying on you!" he wraps his arms around your waist.

"mimi doesn't try to kill me with its weight!" you push your hands against his chest but this man is more than determined to get all your affection and leave nothing for his competition. "are you really jealous of a cat?"

"yes."

you sigh at his immediate answer. "can we at least lay on the couch or the bed?"

"no mimi?"

"love, mimi is more than big enough to figure out how to open a door. mimi will be breaking in to save me." you feel yourself get carried, wrapping your legs around jingyuan's waist to keep yourself steady. "mimi would never kidnap me like this."

"mimi is too attached to you." he huffed, looking down at the white lion. "i saw them first, they're mine." he sticks his tongue out. the pale lion chuffs, looking up at its petty owner. "don't look at me with them big ol' eyes." mimi chuffs again, butting its head against jingyuan's legs.

"i love mimi a normal amount."

"that's a lie."

"yeah, you're right about that. but i also love you. you really do not need to be getting jealous over a cat. mimi is just an affectionate baby."

"too late. mimi, y/n is mine." he's already running to the bed. mimi follows easily, the young cub slinks its way into the bedroom. "back! back i say!"

"jingyuan." you crossed your arms, giving him a pointed look. "i'll give your attention. don't scold mimi."

the white haired male grumbles before getting comfortable in your arms. "i'm supposed to be the one with all the attention, you know..."

"well, it's not my fault my lover bought a lion home. the least i could do is nurture the baby."

"mimi is anything but a baby."

[i-cant-sing]

We wants more todoroki clan one shots

Hmmm okay but imagine reader being Fuyumi's daughter and you are obviously adored by everyone in the Todoroki fam but one person in particular just has that special bond with you-

Dabi.

It's that uncle-niece bond that he holds so close to his heart, absolutely spoils the hell out of you and is ALWAYS in competition with his brothers for "favourite uncle" ever. Like Fuyumi may have given birth to you but you were Dabi's baby 1000000%.

In his eyes, you can do no wrong. You had him wrapped around your little pinky the moment you opened your eyes and stared at him, your eyes wide and animated as they stared into his very soul (and then at Fuyumi, looking at her like "mom? Who is this man wrapped around my finger?").

Casually drops in by Fuyumi's House (she never gave him a key, and she's stopped changing locks over and over because Dabi just breaks in anyways) and steals you from the crib. If he's in a good mood, he might leave a note that he took you and not a kidnapper.

I think Dad Dabi and Uncle Dabi are pretty much the same except Uncle Dabi is a lot more lenient with tge rules than Dad Dabi, like unless you're doing something that would actively result in your death or harm, Uncle Dabi would allow you to do whatever you want. Like Dad Dabi wouldn't ever allow you to date, but Uncle Dabi....

Are you allowed to date? NEVER. Will he kill your s/o if you do find one? Not unless he hurts you or upsets you even slightly, then it's game over for him.

I also think that Uncle Dabi would act more like a sassy mother at times, especially if its like the principal told you to bring your parents and you called Dabi instead of Fuyumi, and Dabi is immediately slamming the door in as he struts in and starts lying on his ancestors that you are the most innocent child ever who's never done anything wrong in her life, might as well call you little miss Virgin Mary because that's just how pure and naive and kind you are and that he'll be suing the principal- NOT THE SCHOOL, but the principal personally and the principal just pulls up a tape of you punching a kid in the throat and Dabi just looks at back you like-

"Should've went with an uppercut like I taught you last week-"

"Mr Dabi!"

Dabi just sighs. "Right. I'll talk to her, but can I get a copy of that?"

And then there's just Fuyumi who is scolding both of you, directed mostly towards Dabi than you because Dabi likes to take blame for a lot of things on your behalf and also because Fuyumi knows that Dabi's been teaching you to do stupid shit.

If you think about it, Uncle Dabi acts a lot like fun wine aunts, like he's drunk before any formal family dinner and he's always bringing the best gifts and jokes and makes the whole situation lighter with dark comedy while the rest of his family sit in uncomfortable, painful silence. But you? Oh you couldn't tell the difference for YEARS because Uncle Dabi was just that good at distracting you from his dysfunctional family to give you the happy childhood he never had🥰

[yestrday]

WAIT NO IMAGINE YAN ACADEMY AND READER DYEING THEIR HAIR TO MATCH !! LIKE GETTING RED STREAMS TO MATCH ITTO

hehehe i got a bit too silly with it. i like incorporating some good ol comedy in my yandere aus to remind people that they're still high schoolers and they're still stupid (also it gives a very heavy sense of conflict knowing that these goofy highschoolers have blood on their hands tehe)

you might like: yandere! genshin academy ft itto

"oh gosh he's gotten [y. name]."

you're a popular one within the academy, the charity case who has high grades but still a bit naive about how high society works. too naive, in fact, that when someone snidely insults you to your face you just ask them what do they mean with the most wide and trusting eyes. it only takes a monster to continue with the insult (and a fool to begin with with all the glaring eyes on him).

you're as easily influenced as you are naive, so everybody can't help but despair at the sight of you trotting down the halls sporting a red streak on your bangs. there's only one man who'd be pushy enough to get you one just to match with him.

everyone whips their head around to see arataki itto following closely behind you, a self-satisfied look on his face. they're not surprised. of course, the arataki itto would drag you into his shenanigans.

"were they bullied into it?" "you think anyone would bully them?" "but it's itto." "he's an idiot... and so are they."

when you enter your classroom, there's a circle of students who's immediately putting a barrier between you and the big man. they're not just your harem, but normal classmates who know that they can't afford losing their answer sheet to the wrong path. everyone starts questioning him, accusing him of somehow corrupting you. it's just a lock of hair dyed red, but they're already acting like you've been initiated into the arataki gang.

"if [y. name] starts skipping classes with you then who am i supposed copy off of at the next history quiz?!" one angry classmate jabs a finger into his chest. they wince.

itto puts his hands up, startled at the angry mob before him. "woah woah woah, guys it's just hair dye—"

"just?!" your classmate cries out, affronted. "do you know how much i need them to tutor me? i won't allow your gang to to take them away."

"well, they're not initiated yet—"

"yet?!"

"guys, guys, calm down." thankfully, thoma's kind voice helps abate the angry mob's fuming. he's fixing your hair, gently making sure to style it in a way that best shows off your red lock. "don't be too harsh on the big guy. as he said, it's just hair dye."

itto looks sparkly-eyed at thoma, touched at his coming to his defense. "thoma, my bro...!"

"that said." thoma's smile turns sharp. "if i hear another word about you initiating [y. name] into your gang, i'll tell ayato and it will be community service for you and the arataki gang, okay?" his green eyes are kind, but itto doesn't miss the heavy warning behind them. he gulps and quickly nods his head.

"yes, sir..."

meanwhile, you're checking yourself in your front camera, delightedly patting your hair down as you admire thoma's handiwork. hmm... this shade of red looks particularly good on you. should you dye your entire hair instead?

some halls down, diluc sneezes and kaeya gives him a look because the diluc never sneezes.

[fanaticsnail]

Cora dies and reader lives: Angsty, tragic, a wonderful exploration of grief and missed opportunities

Cora lives and reader dies: An interesting writing challenge to have what is usually the perspective character to be gone, still a nice way to explore the themes mentioned above

Cora dies and reader dies: Ough. "The longing, the yearning, "I'll love you in every universe life", "till death do we part", "wherever you go, I go", turn up the angst meter.

All of these would be cool angsty fics. BUT:

Cora lives and reader lives: Fucking hilarious. Like obviously there's the trauma, but afterwards, you just know those two would be the most embarrassing coolest, most supportive parents to Law, especially in his pirate career. The absolute epitome of "You're doing amazing sweetie".

(Plus imagine the comedy of a new crew member bursting into Law's office and being like "There's intruders, I saw them in the kitchen" and Law's just like "......you mean....my parents?")

Okay okay okay okay.

Yes, though. All of those are an absolute yes 😭😭😭

The way I have a need to write each of those scenarios. I obviously have a preference (happily ever after, of course). I have semi-written a plot with my "Donquixote Rosinante's Journey with Modern Slang" dialogue for my preference of the "how".

It would be amazing to explore this with a "they both died" becoming a "they both live" and are now tasked with 'parenting' an adult son that's the same age (or older) than them. Could you imagine how hilarious that would be?

Them both trying so, so hard to relate to their boy while giving him space enough to be his own man.

Rosi: "Oh, Honey! I'm so proud of you. Look how big you've grown, Law! You're just a precious little guy. You've got a beard! Look at how strong you are! And you've still got that hat- holy SHIT IS THAT A BEAR??"

You: "Give our boy some space! Let him breathe, mi Corazon. Admire him from afar- OH FUCK IT IS A BEAR!!"

Bepo: "Uhh... Hi Mister Rosinante, and- uhh... Hi, um-."

Law: "-My mother. She's my mother. They're back. They're both back."

I have a need 🤌. This is a proper, feral need.

[sugar-plum-writer]

Fashion Icon

Paring: JJK!men x Fem!Reader; Gojo x Fem!Reader; Sukuna x Fem!Reader; Toji x Fem!Reader Tags: Fem!Reader; One-Shot; reader is a fashion icon!; Light comedy; slight mention of violence; Suggestive; Slight!NSFW A/n: I thought it would be fun! so I wrote this one shot, I personally love fashion~ and I though the scenarios would be fun! This might end up being my longest multiple one-shot

[P.S. If ya'll want another oneshot of this~ feel free to comment! Heart and reblog for motivation lols haha!]

"Money, money, money - Must be funny In the rich man's world, Money, money, money- Always sunny In the rich man's world."

Senario-1 [Gojo]

"It's Valentino!"

Gojo had to agree it's not everyday to see something like this, to be called like this- he would have never come if anyone or any of his ex's had called him like this the way you had done.

He also would have never imagined himself doing what he was doing right now. Destroying the cruse while you stood looking at your nails which you had just gotten done. You were the one who was supposed to fight this curse not him.

"Gojo Honey you done?", cocking your head to the side you looked at him

"Yeah all done~ this was nothing", with a light chuckle he walked towards you

"I love you thank you so much~", giving him a light kiss you smiled

It was ridiculous on so many levels- 15 minutes ago he was sitting in his home, drinking tea as he was chatting about his mission. The next thing he knew he got a call from you

"Y/n darling what's the matter? It's rare for you to call like this", with a light chuckle he smirked

"I need you to fight a curse for me dear"

".....", he could not believe his ears

"....What? You need me to fight...a curse?" he was amused to say the least

"Yes right now~"

"..why? Is everything okay? you are not hurt are you?"

Sure he was the strongest but your strength was not something to joke about. You were a top of the line Grade-1 sorcerer after all your mission success rate? 100%. He still remembers the way you held your own against a special grade curse until he arrived when everyone else was afraid.

Blood dripping, fierce eyes, as you fought the curse- seeing you like that- it was so hot that he forgot how to breathe for a moment

"I am fine, it's just I cannot fight the curse!"

".....Huh....?", he was dumbstruck

"Honey I am wearing Valentino, I don't want to ruin my heels the curse is not-", you paused

"Not expensive enough for me to walk all over it" you cockily cooed and clicked your tongue

"Not expensive enough huh? I didn't know curses had a price", he bursted out laughing

"If the curse had some channel perfume sprayed on it- I would have considered ruining my nails over it but- it's not"

Hearing your tone he could imagine the light smug expression on your face- the arrogance of yours, the sassy attitude, confidence- he would never tell you, but- when you acted like this it was hot- after all it stroked his ego knowing- only he could indulge you.

You did not even had to force it- it just came naturally to you

Not that he did not like it when you were sweet, all caring, etc it's just it gave him a rush- it felt exclusive

"The poor curse must be crying hearing your words love", grabbing his coat from the sofa he made his way out, "How arrogant eh?" his tone carried an element of playfulness

"Well as your lover such arrogance suits me does it not?", you laughed

"Of course, it suits you very well~ I'll be there in 2 minutes"

"Alright! I'll buy some sweets for you in the mean time honey! Love you!"

And with that the phone call ended- when he arrived at the location the people were stunned to say the least

"Mr. Gojo why are you here?", the person in-charge walked towards him

"My girl said the curse is not expensive enough for her to deal with it", nonchalantly he said as if it was obvious

"...huh..?", the man looked stunned so did the people around him

"Yeah", smirking he looked at them

"It's Valentino as she said"

[Sukuna]

If anyone saw him like this they would faint, even in the Heian era he would have never done this- not even for his concubines or anyone.

To think right now after 1000's of years, having seen everything their is to see- all tricks and seduction known to ever exist, he still fell for you not even in his wildest dreams he would have imagined doing what he was right now.

"Sukuna honey carry me", your gaze was serious as you stood looking at him

"Are you serious?" he looked back into your eyes

"Yes. Right now"

How did such a situation happened? Well 1 hour ago you and Sukuna had decided to go out, everything was going well as the day progressed, he was pleased and so were you.

Wining, dining, fooling around, shopping and overall just having fun

The next thing you knew a curse jumped out and tried to attack you and him resulting it getting mutilated and destroyed by Sukuna. You felt a bit bad seeing in what terrible shape the curse was in.

"Fucking pest, how annoying", with an annoyed expression he rolled his eyes

"Y/n let's continue", He held his hand out for you to take

"Sukuna, honey, I cannot walk", you looked at him with a serious gaze

"....huh...?", his expression changed to confusion, "Why?"

"I am wearing Valentino", clicking your tongue you looked at him with a cocky expression, "I cannot walk over this curse ruining these shoes"

"......", for the first time in his life he was speechless and stunned

'Is this woman serious?'

"This curse is not worthy to be stepped over with Valentino shoes", with a straight face you spoke as if it was obvious, "It's common sense"

"hah!", he bursted out laughing, "Are you serious right now doll?", with a smirk he looked at you

"Yes and I order you to carry me", flipping your hair you looked at him

"Really?", cockily he leaned in

"Of course isn't it obvious? Don't you know who you're dealing with?", without backing away you leaned in too not breaking away eye-contact

No one- no woman in his life spoke to him the way you did, the way you demanded him and ordered him to do things for you.

Even his concubines never demanded him anything, and if they did- they always bowed their heads low.

Even geishas, all those women he had been with none of them came close to you and your attitude. And deep down he liked it- it was fun and entertaining.

Your listened to him but had your own edge- an edge that kept him hooked

A woman like you was rare- a fine bottle of Sake meant to be enjoyed and savored- and kept close for to find another like you would take centuries.

If he had you as his concubine in the Heian era- his days would be a lot better and lively. He would have bought you all you wanted as he did now.

You were expensive, exclusive and only he could afford you. Your whims were his to entertain just as you entertained him.

"Alright doll", shaking his head with a smirk he swept you off your feet and carried you in his arms bridal style

"Thank you darling~", wrapping your arms around him you gave him a light kiss as a reward, "You are the best!"

"I know. I am", with a light chuckle he kissed you passionately and your lipstick stain lingered on his lips

Entering the restaurant all eyes were on you two, he could could have just carried you a bit, but no- he carried you all the way to the table as you fixed your lipstick using your hand-mirror. It was quite a scene.

"It's Valentino huh?"

[Toji]

Toji never cared about his life, drinking and gambling away all his money- he had nothing to live for after all. He was only alive till now because he had decided to not die yet.

He was smart, highly intelligent but it did not matter to him, he just did- what he wanted.

But everything changed when he met you, he tried to treat you just as a fling- another one to add to his list, but, you were different.

You did not fall for his honeyed words, your confidence, your attitude, it all screamed power.

Sure you were nice, sweet, and caring but at the same time- you also had self-respect and put him in his place.

Every date you dressed up well in tip-top shape, which made him want to look good as he walked with you hence he changed his wardrobe. Kept himself more proper, put more effort into himself.

All girls and women he dated tried to change him, format him, etc- or liked the so called bad-boy troupe which he played very well.

But you- you did none of that, you dated him as he was unbothered.

Rather than him feeling that you were a fling- you made him feel that he was a fling. Not even kissing him, nothing, when he first met you- you literally shifted the table thinking he was a random stranger.

It hurt his ego, after all no matter how shabby he looked women swooned over him. But you had standards.

You did not need his validation, rather than you chasing him- you made him want to chase you, to know where you are, what you are doing etc

You made him get his shit together to be with you. Previously he had no reason but now he did- you

You were his dream girl

And one thing he knew about you was your taste was fucking expensive.

Whatever you picked in a store somehow- just somehow you picked expensive items without even knowing or looking at the price tag

And for that what was he gonna do? say no? Of course not. What he was going to do is buy you more expensive things.

"Toji honey are you sure?", you looked at him eyebrows raised

"I am, when have I ever not been sure", he smirked holding 5 shopping bags from Valentino

"Are....these real?" in disbelief you looked at the bags

"Just take it girl", tossing you the bags as if it was nothing he went and sat on the couch sipping his beer

"Wait...these shoes...are these the ones I was chatting about the other day with my friends?", wide eyed you looked at him

"Yeah seeing you looking at them I thought you wanted it?", smugly he smiled grinning

"No but ahhhh!!! I love them so much!!", tossing your flipflops aside you immediately wore the heels

"How does it look?" strutting you spun a bit showing off your nice legs

"I love you so much! to think you got me something so nice darling....", hugging him tight you beamed happily your eyes shone so bright

"Gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, what can I say eh?", he kissed you, "As long as you like it, it's all worth it"

"Oh my gosh! It's like a dream!", you kissed him back wrapping your hands around his neck making him smirk and caress your waist

"Well I can make you dream- a dream so good", kissing your neck he whispered, "Valentino would seem like reality darling"

Link to Masterlist!

[matan4il]

911 ep 701 first watch reactions

(I don't think I have the energy to write proper Buddie meta, so here's me randomly squealing instead...)

LMAO In case you were wondering whether s7 of 911 will be subtle about their gratitude/debt to ABC for saving the show, the answer is a resounding no.

Also, I have lost a lot of respect for Frank as a shrink, but gained a lot of love for him as a sass king. "Did she win!?" The murderous look Athena gave him was priceless. I love her, too. She doesn't even need words to rule.

Man, nooooo. Don't give me a mutual "I love you" between Bobby and Athena like that.

"Go ahead and cut the green wire." Everyone and their sister: "Green? You said Red."

9-1-1 is the superior comedy they slipped into our drink, while we were here for our weekly action, suspense, drama and familial love.

Buck broke off with Natalia, and the show really did it like that. XD Every single person who rolled their eyes at this pairing during s6, we were all justified, but wow. The show really is the only forum to respect the pair even less than fandom does. And of course we find out about it in the middle of a scene built around Eddie being half naked, Buck watching him, with the camera specifically turning so we can discover Buck was initially covered by Eddie's body, and the angle change reveals him, when the whole thing wraps up with Eddie welcoming Buck back to the land of the living... Yeah, wonder what made Buck feel alive again. Don't know. 'Tis a mystery. We were given zero clues...

"I want the honeymoon life." *cries* Chimney is just such a good, good man. And okay, expecting your whole life to be a honeymoon's a bit unrealistic, but Madney are living together and they have a child. They know this. Chim knows this, but he still wants to go for it. Aim for the moon, you'll at least land among the stars, right?

Bobby baffled by Athena's reaction to Norman and Lola is hilarious.

I like how Chim has a great idea, but it's still obvious that it's gonna go wrong, because he can't help going overboard with it...

OMG, that scene with Eddie recounting to Buck what Christopher's date was like... If I were to write my Buddie meta, I would serve a three course meal just from that. I mean, the fact that watching Chris hanging out with a girl he likes, makes Eddie compare it to "hanging out with his guy friends" (when there's no lack of interest in this girl... in fact, it turns out that if anything, Christopher's problem is the opposite of a lack of interest) is so telling. There's a reason why that's where Eddie's mind went.

But then also... Eddie's trust in Buck got to me, the way he went to his best friend (not his own gf) for help with Chris. But that was still played with half a smile. But then Buck sort of disses himself jokingly, and Eddie won't have it. "You didn't end up like you." He sees how Buck worked on being a better person, even when Eddie wasn't there for the worst of it, and he appreciates it, and won't let Buck forget it. Meeeep. I love them.

Oh Chim. I was giving you so much credit, and then you went and bought that outdoors jacuzzi. lol Still love him. That's what Maddie's reminding herself of right now, too. ;p

Poor Hen, she was great in this ep, but none of it was really about her, she was comic relief, both with Chim and with the red wire. Then again, she was amazing in this, like she always is with everything.

Eddie and Buck were both so good with Chris this ep, MY HEART. Buck with getting him to talk about what's really bothering him, and Eddie with realizing exactly what his son needs, and how to give it to him. They completed each other. Neither one would be helping Chris without the other one. Tell me again how they're not soulmates?

In conclusion, I love Bobby saying, "Let's go prove one of us wrong," when they're both right. Something WAS going on with Norman and Lola, AND Athena was using them to avoid him.

Argh. That scene of the ship and its passengers being hijacked was rough to watch. </3 I'll still be here to watch the conclusion of this. That's the power of 9-1-1 for you.

It def felt like a great kick to the new season. We had lots of comedy and fun, some great tension, some emotional moments (especially with Christopher), but all in all, it's still clear that the whole thing's a build up to next week. Are you excited?

[heart2beom]

a lost bet!

pairing: frenemy!beomgyu x reader

genre: fluff, comedy

summary: you lose a bet to beomgyu and out of everything you'd think he'd ask of you -- money, to pour freezing water on yourself out in the snow, hell, you thought it'd be more likely for him to ask you to jump off a cliff and survive than telling you to take him out on a date.

word count: 2.2k

notes: cheesy stuff but if you read it till the end, a heart is always appreciated :') if you read it and liked it, please reblog ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

there are people who would be described as two peas in a pot, the half of the other, siblings from another mother -- the idea that they complete each other, that they work so well together that they must be of the same thread.

to describe your relationship with beomgyu, those metaphors would never even have came up in the light of day because you guys just don't work. you like what he likes and he likes what you like. you do what he does, and he does what you do. for heavensake, you've known each other since highschool and you still ended up in the same dream university, in the same dream careers, in the same fast food job! and that is exactly why you don't work. the arguments that fester from being just a little too similar got extreme back when you were teenagers, terribly extreme you couldn't even blame it on hormones.

girls who'd be interested in beomgyu every three weeks would come up to you at the randomest times to ask if there was anything going on between you two and the first couple girls, your friends would die of laughter because of how inaccurate the assumption was. "her and beomgyu? beomgyu with the long hair? him and y/n? the y/n that's standing next to us right now?"

it was safe to say that after a while, the entire engineering major knew you and beomgyu would never happen. and you were content with that.

that is until that day happened, the day you lost the bet.

you were feeling lots of things before he'd decide on a what you'd do - fear, fear was a big one.

"hey, go easy on me." you reluctantly said quietly.

"huh?" he put a hand behind his ear, "what'd you say?"

it was embarrassing enough that you couldn't complete the software in time when you're known in the major for being the fastest, but it was even worse to give beomgyu the satisfaction of you being scared. you already caught a smirk on his face, fucker.

"i said...go easy on me you prick."

"okay okay here, since you're begging, i'll give you a deal." he folded his arms, acting like he was thinking of this on the spot. "i'll go easy on you if you don't ask any questions about my dare." and that was when you knew that he had this planned out - you took the bait anyway, just of the small chance you might avoid jumping off a cliff.

"okay, i accept the deal, whats the dare?"

"take me, choi beomgyu..." he was elongating every vowel and you'd hate to admit it but every time he does it, as annoying as it is, it does manage to do its job and keeps you on your toes to want to know what he'd say next.

but the long pause that day was way more annoying than usual.

"just say it!", you yelled.

"on a date!" he yelled immediately in response. "jesus christ you're so impatient."

beomgyu saw you open your mouth to say something and he anticipated it so he quickly shut you up with a finger on your lips.

"no questions, remember?", you rolled your eyes and snatched his finger off your lip. "here are the rules. one, you're paying for everything-"

"broke ass." you cursed under your breath and he caught it.

"who's working three shifts again?" well, that got you quiet. "two, it has to be the best date i've ever been on. like spectacular, jaw dropping, 5 star restaurant. you know i'm a wanted, highly desirable man. and three, if you break the rules, you'll have to try again. but hey, i trust you'll get it on the first try. i'm going to go easy on you."

and that is how you find yourself on the 9th try of trying to woo beomgyu with a date and finally get the dare over with. i'm going to go easy on you? bullshit.

the first three times, it was aggravating to know that you failed and had to go on another date. the next four to eight times, you viewed it as another assignment to overcome - like a game? that period was ambitious (hello, you literally drove four hours for one of the dates once) so when even those failed, you entered your nine times to how many the fuck you know times. you've never went on this many dates with someone you weren't even in a relationship with.

and by now you'd figured that beomgyu was just freeloading off of you. that asshole. you would totally do something like that..

like it was the devil's calling, beomgyu came through the door of the desserted cafe that you part timed at.

"hey! welcome to bist-- beomgyu." you said his name grimly, staring at him walk over to your register.

"oh my god, i did not know you worked here! fancy seeing you partner!"

"beomgyu, you literally used to work with me-- you know what? no. i just took the last order. we're closing the store."

he looked at his wrist, like he was reading a watch but when he dropped his hand down, there was indeed, no real watch.

"it's seven on a thursday, you aren't fooling me."

you groan dramatically like a child, frustrated. "what do you want beomgyu? i can't afford to hear your voice one more time this week, i'm serious i think i need to get myself checked out before i'm driven to insanity." you mumbled as he looked up at the menu, his iris going left and right trying to decipher which one would be the cheapest, and not taste like total shit. "can i get a...hmm...this is a lot of options..."

"a triple shot soy decaf vanilla latte with whipped cream?", you filled in.

"no not--wait, hold on. that sounds really good."

"because it is good." you said rolling your eyes playfully, this time.

"is it cheap?"

"the cheapest." you said, cracking a smirk. it was times like these where you remember that you and beomgyu are still the friends part of the frenemy title you both chose to adopt.

a more genuine fond smile warmed up on beomgyu's face, because he had the same exact thought.

"well its not technically the cheapest--" he started.

"don't ruin the moment beomgyu." you said heading to the backroom.

"i'm just saying, you were being deceitful! also there was no moment!" you heard beomgyu call out. secretly, you let out a quick chuckle to that.

when you finally got him his order, you expected him to leave...but of course, you thought too highly of him. because there he was, elbows on the counter, sipping his coffee (milkshake) really..really loudly. it was like his sole purpose was to annoy the fuck out of you.

"do you want me to direct you to a table mr. choi?" you said in your fake nice voice sarcastically as your back was turned from him to wash the tools that you used.

"y/n i have a question."

"answer mines first."

"when is the next date--i mean, like, your next, um..attempt? try? what are we calling it?"

you exhale, you knew he was going to mention it.

"it's today. surprise!" you turned around with a terrifying toothy smile, doing jazz hands.

"you just decided this last minute didn't you?" you shook your head, still keeping up a smile. "also stop smiling like that oh my god."

and the smile was dropped. "okay, so what if i decided just now? you know, the cheapest dates are the best dates."

"literally nobody has ever said that." he said, taking another sip of his drink, shaking his head slowly disapprovingly.

"no, yeah you're right i don't know why i just did." you said, very much perplexed those words came out of your mouth -- you'll call it your first stage of insanity.

"look, i'm going to be completely honest, i don't think you'll ever top the paris hot balloon date with that cute foreign chick."

you scoffed, coming closer to the counter with your arms crossed. "um pfft, i thought we collectively, we as in the whole world by the way, agreed that you made that date up."

"you're the only one who thinks it didn't happen, i literally showed you pictures! and it's not that hard to believe, i am universally hot stuff." he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. "wait hey, i think i still have the pictures, let me show you."

his eyes were narrowed, scrolling on his phone.

"okay okay, enough. also don't call yourself hot stuff again." you covered his phone screen and he looks up at you confused. "lets say it did happen.."

"it did happen!"

"...if you knew i wasn't going to top your extravagant paris date, why'd you even add the second rule?"

for the first time, beomgyu didn't have an immediate response. he was quiet, way too quiet.

"look, you can just tell me you were trying to freeload off of me." beomgyu looks taken back, his face scrunched up, so you add more to clarify, "i would be pissed but you don't have to be all secretive about it. i can get over it if you pay me four hundred dollars in cash--"

"let's say i was freeloading off you, which by the way, i should've thought of that--"

"correction, you were freeloading off of me."

beomgyu ignores you. "you know what, i just thought of something. there is one way you could top the hot balloon paris date."

your interest was piqued but you try not to show how your ears perked up, and clear your throat. "what is it?"

despite your attempt to seem disinterested, when beomgyu motions to bring your head closer so he can whisper something, you don't hesitate.

"i don't know, maybe it'll be too hard on you...like it takes a lot of courage--"

"just say it!" you yelled impatiently.

"say i liiike you beomgyu-ah~" he said with what you think is a pout, and top of that you'd bet a hundred bucks that he was fluttering his long lashes too.

you pull your head away. "beomgyu."

he shrugged. "i'm giving you a very easy task, take it or leave it."

you exhale, its true. it isn't that bad. "i'm not doing the aegyo though."

"thats the entire point! just don't do it at all then."

"oh, okay. bye, it wasn't pleasant seeing you beomgyu, as always." you waved him away and start untying your apron to leave your shift, but beomgyu was still there. because you've heard the third groan in a row.

you, however, didn't notice that he came to the back in the register area until you felt his hand touching your struggling ones that were trying to untie your apron for the past..three minutes now.

you dropped them to your sides, feeling a little awkward at the sudden proximity.

"were you actually going to close?" he asked as you felt beomgyu trying to untangle the knot.

"no that was a lie, i'm leaving because my shift ended."

"huh. you know i was about to apologize for bothering you. and i never apologize."

"who said you weren't bothering me anyway? in fact, you've been bothering me this whole month more than normal."

you looked back to beomgyu, "why'd you stop? can you try to untie it faster?"

"alright alright, jesus."

the rest of the time that he spent untying the knot, it was quiet. oddly.

"done. i have to go now though, homework and stuff." he said backing away.

you stopped him by holding his wrist back. "hey, are you mad? it's kind of weird, i've never seen you mad."

he looked back at you with a raised brow. you rolled your eyes, correcting yourself. "okay, well i've never seen you mad this month"

you let go of his wrist because hes fully turned to face you, with his arm crossed.

"maybe, maybe i wasn't mad because i didn't see hanging out with you to be the biggest nuisance in the world."

"well..you're mad now."

"say i like you."

"huh?"

"you don't have to do the aegyo, i'm exempting it because i am a very nice friend."

okay, so now you're lost. you don't know what's going on, at all. but hey at least you'll get a perk of ending the dare!

do you...want to end the dare?

okay, what the actual fuck. why are you having that thought?

"i like you beomgyu-ah." you mumbled reluctantly in the most monotone, robotic voice ever. and his previous sorta serious face morphs into a fit of laughter.. KNEE slapping laughter.

"god you should've--you should've seen your face!" he said pointing at you while he uses his other hand to hold his stomach. like an elementary bully ad.

and the fit of laughter continued.

"was that whole im mad act fake? you're...ugh." you groaned. another day, another beomgyu being a total dick.

you took beomgyu by the wrist again to push him out of the back. "bye! it's time for you to leave!" you said loudly.

"alright alright i'm leaving--ow!"

you had to go through seeing him laughing all the way to the exit door, but hey, at least he was gone. you sigh, relieved.

but then you hear the ding again.

"i like you too by the way" beomgyu shouted out. and then left again.

typical annoying, irritating, choi beomgyu. leaving you to make an analysis of what he meant by saying that... for the entire night.

[tulypes]

nsfw alphabet: dick grayson

please like, reblog or comment. ♡ open orders i'm super inspired to write, lol. minors don't read.

tw: smut, oral sex, dirty talk, insinuation of drug use (cannabis/marihuana), Dick being a goofy pervert, degradation, hc a little long

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Dick is a caring boyfriend, that's undeniable. but post-sex is always a round of sleep, you both fall completely asleep and love it. aftercare actually comes after a brief nap; You wake up, you put on a blouse and Dick puts on some underwear, then you go to the fridge, eat something silly together and watch some comedy film until you fall asleep again.

Or they talk about routine, future desires, marriages, children and everything else.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's a fan of ass. He loves!! likes to squeeze, hit, bite.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Men are visual and Dick doesn't shy away from that. He likes to see you swallowing his cum (if you don't like it, he won't complain, Dick is very respectful), but he goes crazy when you suck him whole and shows that you're swallowing it like it's your favorite flavor of ice cream.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I'll give two, I don't know if you'll like the second one, but let's go.

1: you both have several folders with lots of videos and photos of you having sex (obviously you both agreed to the amateur recordings and they were just between the two of you as a kind of fun – sometimes he even threw them in your face) — look how beautiful you were in that video, look at your face begging me to eat you. Girl, what is this?

2: He likes to smoke…...... Dick knew that marijuana wasn't Bruce's or some superheroes' favorite thing, but he smoked it sometimes. before sex it made him sensitive, he was literally BEGGING for you. After sex, it was more about relaxing, staying calm. Dick loved to drink wine and smoke

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is very experienced, after he lost his virginity, he never stopped. He knows exactly what he's doing, but that doesn't stop you from teaching him something.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

ok, I'll stop for a moment here. It depends on the day, it depends on what you're feeling at the moment. when you two are in a more romantic vibe: missionary. He loves to look into your eyes, tell you how much he loved you, while sinking his dick into you, my beauty. WOW, he also LOVES LOOKING at your face with pleasure and HAVING full access to your breasts.

NOW, MY LOVES, IF DICK GRAYSON IS STRESSED WITH YOU FOR BEING A DEPRAVED BRAT: doggy style. DOGGY STYLE!!!!!

He will push your face into the mattress, he will hold both of your arms behind you and he will hit your butt so hard that you will have bruises for days. Seriously, he loves your ass slapping against his pelvis, you looking at him over your shoulder… this man will cry with passion.

— I love you so much, you bastard!

he'll go even more crazy if you hold his ankles ;)

Dick loves sucking you, the son of a bitch is a pussy addict, so he loves it when you sit with your legs wide open for him, giving him full view of everything. This boy will suck you from top to bottom, side to side.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I feel like the boy Dick is a little silly, at least what's in my head is super playful…. He'll be really fucking you, then he'll remember something, like a fall that Wally took in front of everyone, or some stupid joke, then he'll laugh a lot.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he doesn't like to let it grow, but if you let it grow, he doesn't care

— I'm a feminist man, the way you give me that beautiful little thing between your legs, baby, I'm going to eat it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

you share a lot of intimacy. In addition to being lovers, you are friends. you two share everything, so there are no problems in that regard.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

those videos there? What do you think they are for? When you're far from each other, he jerks off and doesn't have the slightest shame in admitting it. He sends a photo, teases you, says he misses you, moans your name loudly like a prostitute.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

everyone knows he's an exhibitionist. Sex in public or forbidden places was her greatest joy. you have sex in the car, you have sex in the movies, you have sex during Bruce's galas, you have sex during missions, you even have sex in the Batcave (don't tell Batman). he likes air deprivation, wow. He loves squeezing your neck with all his might while you smile like an idiot at him.

HE LOVES WHEN YOU GIVE A SQUIRT, DRINKS IT LIKE WATER AND STILL SAYS IT FEELS YUMMY

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

batcave. lie, I'm joking. So, despite being an exhibitionist clown, Dick loves having sex at home. He loves the comfort that home brings because you don't have to worry about clothes or what you're going to do next. PLUS THERE IS MUSIC!!! Who doesn't love a sex playlist?

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I think that if he knows that you want it, that the desire is mutual, it is already a motivation. Seriously, Dick is very respectful, so if you show any hint that you're not in the mood, say no at that moment, he won't try anything.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

menage. divide you. watching you have sex with someone else. and synonyms. Seriously, he doesn't like it! THE BIGGEST SUPPORTER OF MONOGAMY OF THE CENTURY. He likes being with you and that in addition to sex, so there's no way he can have a threesome.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he loves them both. loves to suck you, as I said. but he also loves receiving, Dick always praises his skills with his mouth. he loves sideways 69, because the pleasure is divided for both

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the day and the moment, but it is generally faster and more difficult. you both liked this!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes it a lot, but he prefers complete sex.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Dick is willing to do anything except menage. one time, you even joked with him about being a snack between him and his brothers…. Dick got upset, girl.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

The guy is a superhero and lived in a circus, he is resistance personified, but if he is too tired or injured, due to his tough routine as a nightwing, he won't get very far, okay?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

when he found out that you had vibrators stored in the back of a drawer, it was like WOW, A DEVILIAN SMILE CAME ON THAT FACE. He loves using them, touching them at full speed to your breasts or clitoris.

— you have a dick amusement park, mini Dick will be jealous

Do you know what he loves? vibrators with remote control. This son of a bitch will make a point of sticking them in you and taking you to dinner. with every step you take, it will change your speed.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he really likes it! you two were a great match in every aspect, so teasing is always welcome. you're doing something, he comes up from behind, kisses your neck, says he misses you, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE TOGETHER ALL DAY, ALL WEEK. When you're on some not-so-important mission, he'll keep whispering how hot you look in the hero costume, he'll rub your ass whenever he gets the chance.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he is so noisy…

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Did you read the letter A of the alphabet? So, let's go. He always wakes up first, so he loves watching you sleep, no matter how messy your hair is or if there's drool on your cheek, he thinks you're beautiful. He will caress your waist, he will caress your scars, your stretch marks. It's not very sexual, but I think it's a good hc

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's big and thick, not in an absurd and lying way, but he's got a REALLY nice package. It's obvious that you preferred mini (or not so mini) Dick over vibrators.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

the bastard is always excited, he always makes you laugh. but in the morning…

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

it turns off, ok? Don't expect much from this guy, especially after a round of weed and sex.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAZBIN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKENFKCMKWJRKFNSMSMDMSMDN-

Okay. Okay deep breaths. Time for some cool and collected comentary. Okay.

Putting it under the cut so ppl can avoid spoilers :)

HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD!?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?!?!?!?!? FUCKIN PLOTTWIST OF THE CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?

Huskerdust my beloved

SIR PENTIOUS MY BELOVED

Vox was great. I love him he's so fucking cool-

If Vox wasn't already a Tumblr sexyman he's definitely gonna be one now. He's so fucking Onceler coded it's insane.

Velvette was amazing too. It's so funny that she's British lmao I was not expecting that

Velvette is also very Anne Boelyne(like from SIX not from Real Life) coded it's wild. Her part in that song with Carmila was giving so much Don't Lose Your Head

I swear I'll stop comparing them to other characters I SWEAR

Okay but me and my brother are working on a Hazbin Hotel swap AU where we swap the main cast with the overlords and in that AU we swapped Husk and Vox. The Husk used to be an overlord reveal is gonna make that AU soooooo much easier lmao

ADAM IS REALLY GOOD I promised I would stop comparing to other characters but he was giving SO MUCH Hades from Disney's Hercules like its insane

I think we should let Alex Brightman sing rocj and roll more often that song was such a fucking BANGER

SPEAKING OF THE SONGS- oh my god I love the soundtrack so fucking much-

Stayed Gone was a lil less hype then I was expecting but thats okay cuz it was still a banger and I loved the visuals

That song battle between Carmilla and Velvette????? Oh my god??????

Carmilla and Vaggie's song was also amazing but I think I know why they didn't have Stephanie Beatriz sing her own song in Elena of Avalor y'know, girl cannot hold a character voice while singing

LOSER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD- I love Huskerdust so much. I love Keith David so much. Blake Roman is such a phenomenal Angel Dust.

SPEAKING OF all the voice actors are amazing. Blake Roman, Brightman as Pentious and Joel Perez were the ones I was the most worried abt but I loved all their preformances so much it was fucking fantastic

Valentino can go die in a fucking hole <3

The other Vees are cool and fun to watch but I hope Valentino fucking dies

Okay to be fair he's also fun to watch when he's not in the same room as Angel Dust but tHAT DOESNT SUPERSEID MY HATRED FUCK 👏 THAT 👏 GUY 👏👏👏👏

Speaking of the Vees tho I do love their dynamic

My favorite episode was probably Radio Killed the Video Star bcuz of mY BOYS PENTIOUS AND VOX!!!!!!!!

And the most painful episode to watch was- no surprise- Masquerade

That episode was a fucking rollercoaster Jesus fucking Christ...

Those scenes with Angel and Valentino where so fucking visceral... like. Who the fuck wrote that. Who are you. Are you okay. Do you need help-

Tho I'm not sure abt how they're handling the ah- more serious bits of Angel's character. It is WAYYYYYY to early to tell and I think Loser wasn't like. Trying to downplay the situation. But the writers better have been careful moving foreward bcuz I can def see a world where Angel's arc goes very wrong very fast-

Also while we're criticizing: wasn't a fan of the pacing. Especially in episode two. Like I can look past it, but the way they breeze past some plot points kinda bugged me

Otherwise it was sooooooo fucking good man oh my god

THE HUMOR WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BEEEEEE PPL NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON THE COMEDY IN THESE SHOWS MAN-

The gag where Niffty just fucking stopped thinking every time the camera turned on was so fucking good

Niffty in general was really fuckin funny

Alastor was a lot less prominent of a character then I thought he would be but tbh I think that's for the best. He's like Discord from My Little Pony, fun in small doses but if you don't set perameters for how often he appears and when he's willing to help it kinda breaks the show

Chaggie is adorable and I love them <3

I think this show does a really good job balancing the focus on the whole cast! These first 4 episodes seem to be pretty Charlie, Angel and kind of Vaggie heavy but everybody still gets their fair share of attention!

THE ANIMATIOJ OH MY GOD- IT WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL IM LOSING MY M I N D

Im going feral IM GOING FERAL THIS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS AKFNVKKENFEKFNDN

I love comedy. I love musicals. I love drama. I love silly characters. I LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!!

It's like the South Park movie but longer and better animated and IVE BEEN WAITING FOUR FUCKING YEARS-

Just. So excited overall. Can't wait to see where it goes. May make more posts abt my thoughts in tbe future.