#the only thing saving me from going over the brink of insanity

[mvalentine]

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Crinkled Polaroids

Ex-boyfriend!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Hi my lovelies, Lia here and I'd just like to say that this took so long and so much effort, I really poured my heart out on this one and I hope it goes well. Recently my biggest heartbreaks are the "What ifs", what if you two worked it out? Would things be different? Would Simon have the life you've dreamed for the both of you and the one he's been deprived of?

You might be asking me "Lia, what's up with all the angsty content recently, aren't you a fluff dedicated blog?" Well I feel ill, I just got off an extremely busy week and most of my drafts have been never ending angst because I lost ideas of a domestic fam with Simon but I still need to get something out for you guys okay? A random bedtime scenario written down at 3am and for the rest of my midnights during a photoshoot and exam week, what could go wrong?

I'm still waiting on what my beloved @connorsui's review has to say 👀

Disclaimers/Warnings: This is not proofread, also ANGST.

My CoD Masterlist

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000

A relationship with Simon Riley going south, at first it started great as most relationships do with several minor bumps due to his past but no big deal right?

But Simon distances himself, more than what's healthy and yes, you do give him his space but there's only little time until closing and distancing off for a while could turn into something like neglect.

Little things like "I love you"s, "thank you"s and every verbal affirmation that you used to think you could cling onto was now non-existent, it hurts but isn't as hurtful when he refuses to touch you.

Back hugs you give would only give you a cold shrug in return, kisses you left were on cold chapped lips that remain still. At this point, you were better off loving someone dead.. then again, aren't you already doing so?

The life you've imagined for the both of you cease to fade in your head as the true reality of the man you love sets in, that dumb idea your younger self who had rose tinted glasses had to actually settle down with someone in such a short period of time of a few years.

You felt so unappreciated, it seemed like no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get him to see you. You felt cheated of the relationship you were supposed to have with him when you see others with the one you love and how he acts around everyone except you. You felt like nothing but a chore to him, an occasional fuck who cleans his home.

Then again, this is a broken man, you felt entitled to ask such a thing of him when he himself is also just healing from what his past had caused.

In Simon's eyes, he was doing you a favor, fucked up in his part thinking hurting you is the best way to save you from himself. It worked, that's what he wanted.. right?

So you leave, it was best for the both of you anyway right? Simon deserves someone who could actually make him happy and you deserve to feel loved in a relationship. Simon's life was a mess, truly, but he didn't realize how much more of a mess it was without you.

Coming home to an empty shell of a house, nothing to look forward to. He found himself almost on the brink of insanity, moving things all over his own home as if you were still there.

Always finding himself staring at that one wornout and creased polaroid of you and him, you were a silly one huh? A hobby of yours that left so much proof of your existence.

Begging him to be in a picture, bribing him with a kiss. Slightly smudged and distorted but still legible pen ink at the back as he flips the flimsy piece of thick, shiny paper.

Keep him safe for me, Ghost.

- Your favorite girl <3

You always thought of him as Simon and Ghost as just an alter ego, a mask that he needs to wear in order to stomach the violence that comes with his occupation.

You were the only one who can differentiate these two people. Tears started to form in his eyes but he blinks it away and shoves the polaroid back in his wallet.

He only started noticing changes when Johnny points out that he's become stone cold, a lot more silent, though he was known to be a ghost.. a shadow.. it wasn't like him to not even try to light up his mood with his dark jokes.

Everytime Simon thinks he gets over the pain, there's always one thing in that stupid house that reminded him of you. You weren't there but it sure felt like that you haunted every corner of the house and his mind.

Whether that'd be something you gifted him or an item of yours left behind, especially when the two of you shared moments with those items, oftentimes Simon tries to relive those, preserve his fading memory of your face.

This is what happens when the decisions you make have consequences on the one that your world revolves around.

A few years down this lane, nothing has changed for Simon, at some part of this never ending low point in his life he was under substance abuse.. alcohol to be specific, since to him it was easier. In concern of his captain, he did get help for it to which had progress.

Ghost kept it together, "today was a day to celebrate Gaz" he thought, blowing out the nicotinic smoke and flicking the ash off his cigarette after.. he knew Ghost's thing was more of a "let's drink and play pool in a pub" rather than a sit-down dinner kind of guy but Kyle insisted.

He thought about how awkward it was, although Ghost felt like he knew Kyle's family just from the lovesick fool himself who would never shut up, always finding a way to talk about his wife and their two kids.

After another puff, he throws the cigarette butt on the pavement and grinds the sole of his shoe over it, the soft hiss for the cigarette evoking, proving it was put out.

Simon walked a few blocks till stopping at the Sergeant's described location, his footsteps made smooth, satisfying taps on the wood floorboards of the porch and he knocks.

Price took liberty of being the one to open the door for Simon because the family was busy, Simon walked through the front door with ease, seeing Johnny somewhat interacting with a kid.

He was welcomed by the a cozy looking space, it was homey and clearly occupied, the shoes lined up on the shoe rack next to the door from the largest pair to the tiniest which was such a far contrast from his empty gloomy apartment.

The kid caught glimpse of Simon, they run up to him and take his hand to guide him into the living room as of to welcome him before bringing back their attention to Johnny and somewhat messing with his stubby mohawk.

The lieutenant observed his surroundings, the little toys and picture frames hung around the house, for a moment his heart drops to his stomach, he blinks thinking he must've been imagining things. Simon walked closer to it, he wasn't imagining it.. that was you, in a wedding dress, in the photo with Kyle.

You looked glowing.. as if you've never looked better in your life, that heart stopping smile on your face, the flowery bouquet on your hands. The green of stems highlight the precious metal band on your finger. Of all the people, places and time, why here? Why now? Why Kyle..?

For a few seconds, just a few when Simon thought his nerves and gut settled, he heard the sweetest voice that was all he knew.

He forgot what it sounded like, the effect it had on him, all too overwhelming for a man who tried desperately to run away from the consequences of his actions. I guess that saying that once you don't hear someone's voice as frequently, you start to forget what they sound like.

For once, the ringing in his ear is gone. Just your voice, all he needed, he closed his eyes for a few soaking in the fact that you're here. For a moment he forgets to take into account that you weren't his. You and Simon make eye contact, the smile on your face drops as soon as you realize who is in your home.. who your husband invited..

Dinner came around, you tried your best to stomach the food you made, every swallow was a challenge. You spent most of your time staring at the food below you, afraid to even spare a glance at Simon. He was as uneasy as you were, telling the group he had to go to the bathroom as an excuse to explore what you now view as your home. The place you built your family together with your husband.

Simon uses the stealth he was known for to sneak in all the rooms, starting with the closest, the kitchen. The pictures on the fridge were enough to catch his attention, polaroids were something he was all too familiar with. Photos of the kids littered on the cold metal box with magnets others were of you and Kyle.

Everywhere he glances was proof of the life you built, the life you could've had together if he hadn't taken you for granted. Simon returned to the table a few minutes later, you easily notice the sudden drop of his mood to solemn.

Constantly closing his eyes, the lieutenant's head was spinning, taking in the fact that Garrick was able to settle down with you in those few years, the same amount of time you'd been together and you both were never close to achieving what you had now.

The night ended with the mens' satisfied stomachs while you and Kyle play-fight about who gets to do the dishes. As all of them were about to leave, you gathered what little guts you had to at least try to talk to Simon as he's the last one out the door, away from the ears of your husband who's currently doing the dishes because the last thing you'd want is to ruin their friendship.

"Goodbye Si.."

Simon never thought he'd hear that nickname out of your lips ever again, he stopped, his feet felt like they were sinking on the ground. Before he knew it, Simon was back on your porch, squeezing you so tight. You tried to pull away but he only held tighter, head rested on your shoulder.

"One last, lovie.. please.." you sigh, your arms wrapping around him, you tried your best to sooth him as your palm runs up and down his back. You felt the sleeve of your shirt getting damp, Simon didn't cry often, but this was different. It wasn't silent at all like you were used to, he was straight up sobbing.

Simon pulled back slowly, you saw his puffed up and flushed face against his pale skin. You felt bad for Simon however what happened is what happened and you were content where you were no matter how much pain the past brings you.

Simon knows you're happy, he sees it, he cups your cheek with his hand. He was about to lean in and kiss your forehead like he always used to but he stops himself.

He wanted to be selfish, he wanted you again but he can't do that to Kyle and he knows this would only upset you so just like before, with a heavy heart he leaves.

Simon will forever let that sink into his heart, the only one he's ever love will forever be engrained in his mind. You will always be his favorite girl..

[fan-a-tink]

My favourite lyrics from Jayden’s Charles playlist (because I am still going absolutely insane over it):

I’d walk to the depth of a world down below, and demand to get back what some circumstance stole - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

How do you know which memories to save? Like the very last footprint that Orpheus made. Cause the last ray of sun made Eurydice cold, did she know, did she know, did she know, did she know? - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

But I opened the door and I went down the stairs, I turned back one last time just to prove you were there. You said, ‚If you can see me, it’s all in your head‘, but it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then - Orpheus, by Vincent Lima

In the low lamp light I was free. Heaven and Hell were words to me. When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her - Work Song, by Hozier

Do you think I’d give up? That this might’ve shook the love from me? Or that I was on the brink, how could you think, darling, I’d scare so easily? - Francesca, by Hozier

If someone asked me at the end, I’d tell them put me back in it, darling, darling, I would do it again, ah, ah, if I could hold you for a minute, I’d go through it again - Francesca, by Hozier

Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I - Francesca, by Hozier

I say they’re just the ones who gave me life, but I truly am my parents’ child. […] I can run but I can’t hide from my family line - Family Line, by Conan Gray

And wonder what I did to deserve this, how could you hurt a little kid? I can’t forget, I can’t forgive you, cause now I’m scared that everyone I love will leave me - Family Line, by Conan Gray

I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless, Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this - Family Line, by Conan Gray

And you laugh and you dance in the wind, and you sway and you hug and you cry, but there’s darkness behind those eyes even when you smile. Oh, summer child, you don’t have to act like all you feel is mild. - Summer Child, by Conan Gray

Stay together, no matter what the weather, even if the winds are changing everything that you are - The Mates of Soul, by Taylor John Williams

My love, there’s only you in my life, the only thing that’s right, my first love, you’re every breath that I take - Endless Love, by Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey

You are, you are, home, home, where I wanted to go - Clocks, by Coldplay

To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine. Oh, there is a light that never goes out - There is a Light that never goes out, by The Smiths

Well, fight or flight, I’d rather die than have to cry in front of you. Fight or flight, I’d rather lie than tell you I’m in love with you - Fight of Flight, by Conan Gray

Bonus, from Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned? 

We’ll carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on, you'll carry on

I just love how it is so clear from every. single. song. that Jayden understands how much Charles loves Edwin. He is the biggest payneland shipper and I love him for it!

[sadseungmin]

hello! i love your writing. if you’re inspired can you maybe do cnc with lee know? and if it’s not taken yet can i be 🫧 anon

♡ consensual non-consent with a psychotic lee minho ♡

psychotic lee minho x afab reader | dead dove | nsfw (MDNI)

p.s. i hope this is to your liking, 🫧! and of course you can be 🫧 anon! ^^

⚠︎ tw: knife play, bondage, threats of murder, implied somnophilia

"Are you sure you want to do this, kitten? Remember, I won't stop just because you beg me to or say 'no'. You remember the safe word, right? I'm going to fuck you loose and stupid, so try not to forget it, ok? Can you do that for me, little kitten?" ೃ⁀➷

『 ↳♡･ﾟ psychotic!minho is a sadist ･ﾟ♡

Minho loves pushing you to your limits, relishing the mix of fear and pleasure that flash across your face whenever he inflicts pain on you. He's calculated, deliberate, and intentional, always aiming to evoke the strongest reactions from you.

What would Minho do to you...?

You've always preferred "vanilla" sex (safe and slow), but Minho needs more...stimulation, as evident by the rope and blindfold in his hands. You repeatedly say 'no' and 'stop it', kicking your feet and swatting at Minho's bare arms and chest, but it all proves futile. Minho just chuckles at your poor attempts to control the situation and overpowers you. He blindfolds you, tying your hands above your head and your legs to the bedpost, leaving you nude, vulnerable, and completely exposed. He teases your body, alternating between gentle caresses and sharp, sudden pain. One minute he's gently massaging your breasts, his lips and warm breath ghosting over their hardened nubs as he drinks in every whimper of yours. The next, he's nibbling on a nipple while his free hand tightly tugs on and squeezes your clit. The unpredictability keeps you on edge, and all you can do is pant and whimper out a pathetic 'please stop' while your tears soak the blindfold and your slick ruins the sheets underneath you. But truly, you don't want Minho to stop. Not even when you feel the cool metal of a very sharp knife trail lightly over your skin from your neck down to the pubic mound of your pussy.

"You like this, don't you, kitten?"

Minho taunts as he teases your clitoral hood with the very tip of the knife's blade. Your body stings from the shallow cuts scattered across your breasts, hips, and thighs. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you struggle to control your breathing and anxiety.

"You're beautiful like this. Bleeding. Helpless. Mine."

You whisper that you want him to stop and think he's insane, but that only earns you a slap across the face so hard, you bite your tongue. Your tongue and cheek throb, and the taste of copper fills your mouth, but you don't dare say the safe word. Minho's tip prods against your wet, hot hole as he continues to slowly fondle your pussy with the knife's blade. Your hole clenches uselessly around his tip.

You hear Minho click his tongue.

"That was a very nasty thing to say, kitten. I'm disa—"

He slams into you without warning, not giving you time to adjust to his girth.

"—ppointed in you!"

Sparks explode within your body, traveling from the soles of your feet to your sternum as Minho's hips piston in and out of you with abandon. Your back arches, your mouth drops open, and a loud, incoherent stream of noises escapes, barely carrying over the sound of skin slapping on skin. It's too much...everything is too much! But with the way Minho punches directly into your sweet spot with such speed and intensity, your brain melts. You barely register Minho pressing the knife to your throat and his breathy whispers in your ear, telling you how he could easily kill you—slit your throat right when you climax and watch you bleed out while still stretched taut on his cock.

"And—mmm, fuck—the best part is no-one is coming to save you from me. I can—mmm—do whatever I want to you, kitty."

You're on the brink of passing out, and you know once you do, Minho is definitely not going to stop. At that point, you'll be nothing more than a living fleshlight, and fleshlights can't speak.

You're fine with that. As much as you like to scream, fight, and beg for it to stop, you want to be ruined, defiled, and fucked brainless by Minho.

And Minho...?

Minho knows you best and will deliver every time.

He's pounding into you without mercy; your head begins to loll, and your noises quiet down. Minho breathes out a laugh, dark and victorious, and although you can feel his warm breath ghosting over your sweaty face, he still sounds faraway when he husks,

"Go ahead and let go, baby. When you wake up, I'll still be playing with my favorite toy."

[atlabeth]

i'm with you | nikolai lantsov

summary: everything is falling apart around you, but the world is quiet for a moment as you and nikolai share a sunrise together.

a/n: this is a lil sequel to bad luck! it takes place 3 years after at the beginning of siege and storm, after rusalye is killed and the darkling is mutinied off the volkvolny lol. idk where this came from but i really wanted to write something for nikolai because im done with finals and kept my 4.0 and he makes me happy! so i hope you enjoy this short lil thing

wc: 1.5k

warning(s): fem!reader, slight bit of angst, mentions of death and fighting, but this is very light hurt/comfort so nothing really bad goes on

“I should have known this is where I’d find you.” 

Nikolai’s voice rang out from behind you, clear and strong in the silence of an early morning. Nothing but you, him, and the sea, the way it had been for nearly three years now. 

You weren’t ready to lose it.

“I needed some time,” you said, gaze remaining on the horizon, sunrise on the brink. “A lot has been going on.” 

“An understatement,” Nikolai said wryly. His footsteps could hardly be heard against the wood as he walked over to you, choosing to lean his back against the railing in opposition to you supporting yourself with your forearms. He didn’t look at you, but his presence was more than enough. “How have you been holding up?” 

“Better than most can say,” you said. “Certainly better than our guests.” 

He chuckled. “I believe the Sun Summoner has wished death on me more than once.” 

“Have you seen the way her tracker looks at you?” you asked. “That man wants you dead.” 

You could see his grin out of the corner of your eye. “A spirited pair, to be sure. I’m lucky they haven’t actually made an attempt.” 

“As if I would let them get close,” you said wryly. “I take my duties as your second-in-command very seriously.” 

This time, you felt his eyes on you. “A misfortune you’ve been only my second for these past few weeks.” 

You sighed. The vast expanse of the sea, just beginning to glow with the light of the sunrise, seemed much lonelier. 

The past month had been… difficult, to say the least. And certainly lonely. 

The Darkling—General of the Second Army, Grisha of the greatest renown, and one side of the Ravkan civil war—had hired Nikolai’s crew to take him and his Grisha through the Bone Road in search of the mythical sea whip Rusalye. Nikolai decided to go along with it, but the plan he’d cooked up with you and the crew was something truly idiotic. If you all could pull it off, though, it would be the start of Ravka’s saving grace. 

The general was not a generous man beyond the coin he put up. He practically took over the ship, ruminating with an imposing power everywhere he went. You supposed it wasn’t difficult to lead an army when you could intimidate your way through everything in your path. 

And he recognized you. Looked you over in a way that made your skin crawl, greeted you by name, asked if your parents knew where you were. You resisted the urge to spit in his face—years of etiquette lessons worn into your bones were the only thing that kept a practiced smile on your lips. 

He just wanted to get under your skin, try to unsettle you, maybe hoped he could reveal your truth to anyone who still might not have known to sow division in the crew. You lied to his face and all he did was chuckle and move on. 

The Darkling left you alone from then on, but Nikolai refused to take any chances. He made the decision to hide your relationship, to hide any form of closeness beyond your being his second—”the last thing I need is you being targeted for any mistakes I make,” he’d said, and you had no objections. 

The Darkling had unnerved you since the first time you’d met him as a teenager. The insanity that flickered in his eyes any time his hunt for the Sun Summoner was brought up—the insanity fully displayed when he finally had her in his grasp—was enough to make you keep your head down wherever and whenever possible. 

That was not to say it wasn’t difficult, though. The first night you spent alone rather than in his cabin was difficult, and you’d wondered if the ship had truly always been this cold. Your finger felt bare without its ring, and you always worried the necklace would somehow slip into view. Your hands itched for your dagger each time the Darkling threatened Nikolai, and you were sure his calming words afterwards were the only thing keeping you from doing something truly foolish. 

And now he was fully your enemy, Rusalye had been turned to fetters, and the Sun Summoner and her mystical tracker were below deck in a very shaky alliance. 

Things were certainly never boring with Nikolai, at least. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when he said your name, and you finally looked over at him. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, milaya?” he asked softly. “Tolya did patch up all your wounds, didn’t he?” 

“Perfectly,” you confirmed with a nod. “It’s just…” 

“Talk to me, my love.” Nikolai reached out and took your hand, the callouses from years spent as a privateer a comfort by now. “You know I’m here for you, more now than ever.” 

Your gaze dropped down to your joined hands, and you let out a loose sigh. “We’re going back to Ravka,” you finally managed to say. “Back to the noble world.” 

“It does feel strange,” he murmured. “After years on the sea, free from any expectations. Free from being a Lantsov.” 

“Years away from my parents,” you said quietly. “They probably think I’m dead.” Your gaze flitted back up to meet his eyes, and you were struck by the warmth in them. “And I would have been, had it not been for you. Dead or much, much worse.”

“You can’t think like that,” he urged, pulling you closer. “You made your choice—we both have. And they brought us back together. That means they couldn’t have been wrong.”

“I left them, Nikolai.” Your chest tightened and you looked back out to the boundless waters. “Without a single word.” 

“I did the same,” he said wryly. “You somehow managed to forgive me.” 

You huffed a laugh and shook your head. “I’m just not the same girl I was when I left. I don’t want to be that girl—that duke’s daughter that smiles and curtsies her way through everything. I’m worried that they’ll try and push me right back into that box.” 

Nikolai scoffed. “As if they could even try.” 

In your silence, he gently tipped your chin so you could meet his eyes. 

“You’re my second in command,” he said. “You’ve taken quicker to all of this than any member of any crew I’ve seen. And when you’re focused on something, you’re a sure sight to see. You’re not the girl that they raised—you’ve forged yourself into your own woman. If they have any sense at all, they’ll be the proudest parents in all of Ravka.” 

“I hope so,” you admitted, “more than anything. All of this— learning to sail and command and fighting by your side— it’s made me feel more alive in a few years than a whole childhood in Ravka’s court.” 

“And I consider myself immensely lucky that you somehow find enjoyment in all of this the same as I do,” Nikolai said with a slight laugh, taking his hand away from your chin. “Truly, I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to find you again after messing everything up once.” 

Your lips quirked in a slight smile. “And I consider myself immensely lucky that you stayed in love with me after all that time.” 

“The only thing easier than falling in love with you is staying in love with you,” Nikolai mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I could sail the Bone Road for a thousand years and that would never change.” 

“That’s another reason I don’t want to go back to court,” you said, heat blooming in your cheeks. “You’ll charm every person you come across with those honeyed words.” 

Nikolai smiled. “And yet I could only ever mean them for you.” 

“I just don’t get how you’re still so confident,” you said. “We’re going back to Ravka in the midst of a civil war. The Darkling’s on our tail, and he won’t stop until he’s gotten his very bloody revenge.” 

“But we’re going back together,” Nikolai clarified. “As far as I’m concerned, anything is possible so long as we’re together.”

“How are you always so sure of yourself?” you marveled. 

He shrugged. “It’s very difficult not to believe in myself when I’ve got you by my side.”

“Saints,” you murmured, your smile growing, “I’ve missed you more than you know.” 

Nikolai pulled you into a kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips met yours, your hands falling into familiar places on his body as you all but fell into him. It had only been a few days since your successful mutiny against the Darkling, and open affection still felt slightly strange. Any remaining qualms were fully kissed out of you, though, and when you pulled away, out of breath but glowing from the inside out, you could hardly contain your smile. 

“Trust me,” Nikolai breathed, “I know.” 

You grinned as you leaned against his side, and he pulled you in close with an arm around you. You rested your head on his shoulder, and for a moment, the countless voices of doubt inside of you fell silent as you watched the sunrise together. 

“We’ll figure it all out. I promise.” His voice was little more than a whisper in your ear, and yet it warmed your body just as much as his touch. “I’m with you until the end, milaya. No matter what.” 

And you believed him.

[hestzhyen]

Already Waist-Deep

Hi internet void. Please allow me to kagura my bachi all over the place for a little bit. I've got a bad case of the brain worms about these boys that I haven't even had together for 20 chapters yet. Let me ramble a little bit about why they're already so compelling as not only a duo, but a ship.

First off, a caveat. Kagurabachi is a Weekly Shounen Jump (WSJ) action series. That means that if romance is ever addressed in the series itself, the protagonist is going to end up with a girl. Doesn't matter how underdeveloped or lackluster his relationship to her is, or how flat she is as a character. Invest lightly and come along for the ride without any expectations of m/m ships becoming canon. (That said, it might not be the worst thing in the world for our MC to end up with a girl in this case- more on that later.)

Second, I don't really ship that often. Not seriously at least. I need more than two guys being close with each other to start wanting them to be a pair, y'know? So I hope you understand the intensity of the material Hokazono-sensei has been giving us the past few chapters. I am on the brink of going all-in on HakuHiro/ChihiHaku in less than 20 chapters, it's that insane.

Third, I will be talking about current developments without marking potential spoilers. There are only 38 chapters out as of writing this, but there are at least two reveals that would be better appreciated going in blind. Spoilers for the oneshot Farewell! Cherry Boy are also a thing near the end.

Okay? Okay. Let's begin.

Who's Involved? First up is our protagonist Chihiro Rokuhira, an 18 year old boy and the son of a famous swordsmith. He was raised with genuine love and care by his father (no idea what happened to his mom yet), taking care of their day-to-day life while learning his father's trade. And from the very first chapter he is steeped in tragedy as he witnesses his father's murder and life's work being stolen. He then sets out on the long, fraught road of vengeance.

Sounds grim and not exactly compelling, right? Especially when this scene from the first chapter was making the rounds being memed to death:

But there's much more to Chihiro than meets the eye. Flashbacks to his time growing up show him being a natural caretaker to his dad and their fish- cooking meals, keeping his dad on task, and so on. We see glimpses of underlying tenderness when he meets and rescues Char, a sweet little girl with her own tragic past. And we get some insight that he might not be quite as resolute as he's projecting himself to be when he faces off against Sojo, a fan of his father who worships a much different version of the man than Chihiro knew. And now the Rakuzaichi arc has definitively shown us that Chihiro isn't as collected as he seems. One of his father's killers easily cracks the mask and shows us Chihiro is really just a desperate kid with a heaping helping of trauma, while Tenri's pointless sacrifice shakes him to his core. But despite it all he's still doing determinator things in the most badass way possible. Chihiro has layers, man. A lot of them. And the best way to understand our protagonist right now is through his foil: Hakuri Sazanami.

Who is Hakuri? Another 18 year old boy with a special lineage, but he's a loser who needs to be saved from common thugs. A pathetic guy who latches on to Chihiro and doesn't take the hint when Chihiro literally runs away to ditch him. An utter failure to his family. A lost puppy looking for a samurai.

Hakuri Sazanami is one of the best goddamn foils I've seen in shounen manga yet.

Let me tell you all the ways I love the writing around this kid and Chihiro because MAN I can't even contain all these feels.

What's Going On? From the start, Hakuri looks like he's just another person for Chihiro to bail out. He witnesses Chihiro's awesomeness fighting Sojo in the streets and decides to imitate it, standing up for a little girl being kidnapped. Instead of winning out, though, he's captured and kicked around. Once he's coincidentally rescued by Chihiro he's immediately all-in on tagging along and keeping Chihiro in his life. Look at this pitiful guy:

Chihiro decides to hear him out due to his connection to the Sazanamis, the Big Bads of the arc. He's initially put off by Hakuri's intensity but brings him along anyway, as Hakuri's insider information regarding the Sazanami family makes him useful. Then, as Chihiro wavers under Hiyuki's assault, Hakuri is truly useful for the first time:

And it only gets better from here. We see Hakuri hanging off Chihiro's every word trying to be as useful as possible for his samurai, striving to do anything he can, though it ends up with him forcing Chihiro to give up his precious sword Enten in exchange for his life. (Yes, Chihiro "buys" Hakuri from Hakuri's own family.) Later on during the invasion of the auction is where things go into overdrive though. We see their character arcs start to invert and shape each other's as the action unfolds and Hakuri's own tragic past comes to light, eventually awakening him to his special abilities. Chihiro's bravery and strength help him pull this off and finally defeat the older brother that tortured him in the name of "love". Hakuri ascends to being the strongest Sazanami since the progenitor started their line centuries ago. He's the Special Boy!

All this to say that Hakuri Sazanami isn't just a deuteragonist or a foil…

He's the goddamn heroine.

Kagurabachi's Built Different What makes a shounen series heroine? Firstly, they support the main character without getting involved in most of the heavy fighting. A shounen heroine will usually at most have a fight against another girl while the Big Event is happening nearby, making sure the main character has the spotlight. Second, most of the value they bring to the protagonist's story is emotional. They encourage him, validate him, provide a bit of a refuge for him to safely let his guard down. They can get him to express softer emotions that he wouldn't normally show around others. Third… they're the love interest. Ochako, Orihime, Chichi, and now… Hakuri? Really?

We know the third one will not happen for HakuHiro in canon. But what about the first two? Well, let's recap what Hakuri has done for Chihiro so far.

Hakuri can defend himself now, but his most useful ability is access to an interdimensional storehouse. Given the way that his magic works -he needs to prioritize maintaining the storehouse or using Isou- he'll likely be the means of keeping the enchanted blades safe rather than a front-line fighter. Support-centric character that will still get some combat time against lesser opponents: check.

Hakuri's given Chihiro some much-needed direct emotional validation that he hasn't gotten from anyone else yet. ("You saved me." … "That katana suits you.") Hakuri's words fortify his resolve and Chihiro later pays it back by trading Enten, an incalculably precious sword and memento of his father, for Hakuri's life. He even uses the same phrase when asked why he'd do that for someone as worthless as Hakuri ("That guy… saved me."). He later reaffirms that Hakuri's encouragement gave him the courage to let go of Enten in the first place:

We even see Chihiro open up to him for the first time just minutes after they met:

Chihiro's been a stoic good guy with buried trauma up until this point. But somehow Hakuri is the first person he outright admits his fears to- not Shiba, not Hinao, but the freaky kid he just rescued. Emotional support pillar: check.

"Well that's not enough!" you say. "That's just taking some moments and doing that thing you said you didn't do- smushing boys together just because they're close!" OK but look at how Hakuri thinks about Chihiro:

Chihiro has been his inspiration from the first time he saw him. It can be read as admiration and hero worship, but doesn't that feel like selling Hakuri's feelings short when remembering how devoted he's been since they first met?

And just look at Hakuri's face here, he's beaming when Chihiro busts in to save him just like he believed he would:

Mostly, though, Chihiro is the one who gives Hakuri strength in the moment. The Ice Woman broke him free of his family's mentality, and now Chihiro gives Hakuri what he needs most: hope. Something he never had before, which doomed his relationship to the Ice Woman; he couldn't prove to her that there was more to life than despair because that was all he knew… but that completely changed once he met his samurai.

And that's been their thing through this arc. Each one is giving the other the vital thing they needed to grow and keep going. When Hakuri was struggling at the start, Chihiro was his guiding light towards a better future. And when Chihiro struggled in the aftermath of Tenri's cruel death, Hakuri pulled him along so they could finish the job. They're in perfect sync now as they take down the Rakuzaichi. Don't just take my word for it, check out Hokazono-sensei's color page for the most recent chapter (38): https://twitter.com/KaguraShiba/status/1804898273859445181 From Hella (KaguraShiba): >Kagurabachi Ch 38 JP Color Page 「阿吽の呼吸で薙ぎ払え」 "Two people dancing to the same beat, mowing down enemies" >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Synchronized breathing >Or when people are the most in tune with each other >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Is a Buddhist expression in Japanese meaning something close to "harmonizing in sync together" >"Aun" is also used to indicate an "Aun relationship", indicating an inherently harmonious relationship or nonverbal communication Yeesh. But holy shit it's paying off. In chapter 38 these boys are already in harmony- Hakuri registers Chihiro into his storehouse (yes they both "own" each other now) and sends him in to fight his father. During the fight Chihiro trusts Hakuri to interpret his intent and it works. Chihiro wordlessly tags a bunch of grenades with his spirit energy and Hakuri pulls them out into the real world to bomb the shit out of the Rakuzaichi audience. They didn't plan this beforehand- they had no idea Kyoura had fucking grenades laying around in there. But they're close enough to understand each other's thoughts already. Peak soulmate material right there!

What's got me most interested now, though, is how they will pull/push each other after this arc. Chihiro's going to be focused more than ever on tracking down his father's killer and the swords. But Hakuri, well… I think it would be very interesting if he starts to become a despair monster. A reflection of Chihiro's state at the very start of the manga where nothing mattered to him except exacting revenge. We're seeing shades of this in the most recent chapter (38) where he's slumped over and obviously depressed about how all this is turning out. He's going to end his family's cruel trade but at what cost to himself? Will Chihiro see some of himself in Hakuri and be able to help him out, or at least promise to find relief from the pain together? Obviously a Bad End where Hakuri takes himself out is in the cards given Hokazono-sensei's previous works but… on a meta level, I think his storehouse ability will keep him relevant. I mean yeah he could be used to slap Chihiro across the face by showing what a bad end for his revenge story could look like but I think (hope) that won't happen. [Note to future self: I give you permission to go batshit insane if Chihiro stops Hakuri from committing sudoku.]

And this is where my brain worms are coming from. In just under 20 chapters we have an extremely strong set up between them- so much room for them to teach each other; push to grow and pull back from the brink when tragedy strikes again.

But where's the real meat, you ask? The actual literary analysis in this gushing rant about how much I love these boys I barely know? Well, fine. Buckle up because it's time for some…

Daddy Issues The Rakuzaichi arc really digs into comparing Chihiro's affection for his dad to the Sazanami family structure. And I gotta talk about this because it's the key aspect that makes Hakuri such a brilliant foil.

First off, the similarities. Chihiro and the Sazanami kids are all intensely devoted to their fathers. All of them were raised with love while learning the intricacies of their family trade. We see the Sazanami kids getting praised for doing well, just like Chihiro. Hakuri and Tenri were even told they were special. During the arc, the Sazanami kids put their lives on the line to defend their dad and family legacy with zeal matched by Chihiro's intensity to avenge his dad. When he falls, Tenri's final words are apologizing to his father.

It's truly heartbreaking that the Sazanami's dad never loved them back.

You see, the Sazanamis are one of those families that put their lineage and craft over everything else. Every member of the family lives for ensuring the Rakuzaichi auction goes off without a hitch. One of the clan is chosen to inherit the storehouse and the rest are trained to defend it to the death. Kyoura, the current patriarch, has no compunctions about letting his son Tenri die just to delay Chihiro and the gang for a few more minutes. He had his kids put their lives on the line to defend a storehouse door that he had already broken in secret- making it completely useless. And he's equally cold when it comes to children who can't perform to standards like Hakuri. Once Hakuri (apparently) fails to manifest an ability for sorcery, Kyoura turns a willfully blind eye to the abuse his kid starts to suffer. He knowingly lets Hakuri be tortured by his older brother for years and does nothing, then disowns him once some "merchandise" kills herself in front of him. There's no love for children who can't be useful to the family's traditions. And any love that does exist between father and child is manipulated as seen here:

What the fuck man.

So Hakuri is going into this arc firm in his conviction to end his family's evil ways. He's been abused physically and emotionally for at least six years straight; he knows his father doesn't love him. And even now when he's about to bring the whole place down with Chihiro he's still yearning for his dad's praise. Hakuri's family is fucked up bad and he needs a hell of a lot of healing after all is said and done.

Meanwhile, every flashback with Chihiro shows us that he was truly loved and cared for like every kid deserves. His dad wasn't perfect but he was exactly what a parent should be- kind, understanding, and supportive. His goofy advice helps Chihiro to this day. Chihiro and his dad had a genuine father-son bond that was broken by tragedy and thus Chihiro's desire to do right by his father's memory is driven by grief, first and foremost. So when we see his expression after Tenri's death, we know why he's so badly shaken. They clashed out of love and duty for their fathers, supposedly prepared to pay the ultimate price. But the Sazanami version of "love" is a very different, much less wholesome version than the kind Chihiro knows… yet no less effective in terms of motivation.

You can practically hear his heart breaking for Tenri. And his inner thoughts in the next chapter say it all: he was naive to think he could enact revenge while holding fast to the kindness he grew up with. Chihiro's kindness that he learned from his father is a liability to him in this situation. Meanwhile, Hakuri knew from the start that he had to finally give up the last of his familial affection. He hardened his heart and steeled his resolve to do whatever it took.

Both Chihiro and Hakuri knew what it was like to be loved. Hakuri's version might have been twisted, but it was still painful to have that bond suddenly broken. And now we've seen Edgy Revenge Man's inner softness hold him back while Silly Soft Guy has a heart colder than the arctic. I go absolutely feral comparing and contrasting their situation and how their positions have reversed. Yeah, Chihiro's going to be the action guy who saves the day but Hakuri's the reason he can do it. Hakuri's surprisingly strong core has pushed Chihiro to put his feelings aside to get things done. I can't fucking wait to see how this arc ends and where these boys end up. What will the the most important thing Chihiro takes away from Hakuri here? I hope it leads him to be a bit more openly compassionate and soft around his allies- Hakuri's situation being a lesson in not letting your family's bonds overtake everything else. For Hakuri, well… I think being around Chihiro, Char, and the rest will help him heal. But I hope it's Chihiro that keeps him stable as the person that can relate to him best.

Meta Ramblings Whew. Now then… Yo dumbass writing this, we're not even 40 chapters in yet. Don't you think it's a bit too soon to start getting hyped for a character that could be shelved as soon as the arc is done?

It's interesting to see the themes and characters Hokazono-sensei's reused in Kagurabachi. From the four one-shots available to read, it seems like he's is interested in writing about characters encountering tragedy through various kinds of love. I think it's intriguing that three out of the four end in despair, and the one that doesn't still involves a fair bit of sadness. It's a bit early to say about Hakuri's circumstances since this is only the second proper arc in the series, but given Hokazono-sensei's past works, I think Hakuri is here to stay. For one, Hokazono-sensei seems to love his color-coded foils (Chain, Enten, Roku no Meiyaku). Farewell! Cherry Boy also explores the circumstances of a blindly loyal boy who feels useless being given his first chance to prove himself… I think this is a theme that Hokazono-sensei is revisiting in a more in-depth fashion with Hakuri, so there's a good chance there's more planned.

And just for fun, if we want to look at his romance stories… Madogiwa de Amu is all about one person being the other's greatest hope, their reason to persevere in the face of hardship and seeing that reciprocated in turn. Complete with the weaker person becoming strong enough to protect the person who inspired them first. Hmm. (Hopefully it doesn't end the same way though 'cause man, I can see Hakuri doing something similar right now…) It's also not impossible for Kagurabachi to touch on love given we see Farewell! Cherry Boy incorporating love as the crux of the narrative, despite starting as a gangster story. The true MC is quite like Chihiro as well in terms of motivation and action plan.

I also think it's impossible to overstate how important it is for Chihiro to have a friendly peer to compare to, narratively speaking. Char is a woobie, Shiba's an uncle figure, and Hiyuki is set up to be the aggro rival/frenemy. Hinao could become more than a side character but it seems unlikely at this time. Chihiro needs someone his own age to just be himself with. And that, I am 99% sure, will be Hakuri. A guy who's suffered just as much as he has. Someone who knows what it's like to have a famous last name and lineage to protect. An equal who's unquestionably on his side, who will lift him up when he's down, will need some protection and care. So yes I think Hakuri will be sticking around to be Chihiro's foil. He might take a back seat at times as heroines do, but he'll still be there to support our sad boi through thick and thin.

Anyway that's why I'm ready to jump feet-first into this ship. It's got all the hallmarks of a wonderfully strong bond and I hope we get to see these boys comforting each other for years to come. If you read all this… thank you? Maybe get yourself checked for brain worms? And tell everyone you know to read this amazing action-packed tragedy laced with BL crack cocaine.

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

It’s the end of May, which means I’m sad and insane about the khux finale again

lol just kidding, I’m ALWAYS sad about the khux finale!

anyway, here’s a ramble analysis-esque thing about how the most tragic trio of all time has hurt me

The Ephemer and Skuld fight is so much more excruciating when you remember that for literally the entire game, all they wanted was for Player to be safe, even if it meant breaking rules and hiding things from them.

Eph and Skuld saved Player from the keyblade war even though they weren’t a Dandelion, and realistically should’ve been left behind to meet their fate like all the other non-Dandelions. Instead, they chose to take Player to the new world and spare them from the trauma of the war, carrying the burden of those memories in their stead.

You have to remember that Eph and Skuld were also on the battlefield during the war, or at least during the tail end of it. They never talk about it on screen, but even if they were only there for a short time, seeing all that destruction, and all those wielders dying on the battlefield when they were basically given a free pass to escape it all, had to have been insanely horrific for both of them.

And then seeing Player, their friend, on the brink of dying, is enough to shake the two of them to their core, and go against their initial beliefs. Eph believed that it would be better for everyone to remember the past, for the future’s sake. And Skuld believed in doing what was right, even if it meant unveiling the ugly truths no one wanted to hear.

The cutscene where they’re talking to Chirithy about hiding the truth is so poignant to me because while Skuld and Eph do feel bad about withholding stuff from Player, after seeing the literal end of the world and them on the brink of death, they’ve agreed that it’s the lesser evil, that it’s worth doing. They keep Player close enough to watch over them. They keep them busy with new jobs, and happy with new friends, blissfully unaware of what they had to endure. Because as selfish as it is, lying to Player is miles better than seeing them in pain. Than seeing them die.

BUT here’s the thing: Eph and Skuld never considered that Player would feel the exact same way about them. That Player would be willing to lie to their faces and “go against what they believe”, turning into the very enemy they were trained to defeat, for their sake. It’s an ironic twist, and the smartest thing Player has ever done, preying on Eph and Skuld’s worst fear in order to ensure they truly fight for themselves and make it out safely, instead of pulling the self sacrifice play they were intending. Player literally used an uno reverse card on them and it worked.

The three of them lied and changed to protect each other, and neither party ever found out the truth in the end. They trusted one another with their lives, and trusted themselves to do what was right on each other’s behalf. And damn, did they do it. khux ends with these three friends beating the shit out of each other, their lives crumbling underneath the weight of how much they care about each other, and as far as we know, they never see each other again. At least not for another several centuries, give or take.

god. Just. god. What the hell did Nomura inject into these three and why am I still crying about it 3 years later???

[mad-doodle-disease]

source: various notes found scattered status: surprisingly neat, messy handwriting

I "talked" to Dave and Buck about it... I felt insane. They can't speak to be back, it was like talking to corpses. I told them I knew what they were and, if they wanted to help me find a cure to not just save them, but save the world, they need to become High Roller more often. Buck tried to speak, so I know they understood me. All that came out was screeching. Useless, always useless, why is he so USELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESS!?!? Dave responded with clicks, more morse. Translated it. I won't bore you with the full translation, I'll just paraphrase it. He said that it's "a bit difficult" to stay as High Roller continuously, but they'd try for a couple hours. Apparently it hurts less to be High Roller.

They formed High Roller. I drew oil from him. Kinda red, had something else mixed in it. Cog, why is it every time that duck gets involved with something it makes things more difficult!? Whatever, I got what I needed and asked some questions.

High Roller seemingly has no knowledge of what the infection is. How could he, someone formed from two victims of the disease, not know what it is? Is he dumb?

Asked him if his magic was real. He responded by making a Flunky appear out of genuinely nowhere. The Flunky seemed confused and bewildered as to where they were before High Roller snapped him out of existence, turning it to dust. If I'm not already insane, the thought of being born only to be snapped out of existence to prove a point just pushed me over the brink.

Grabbed some feathers from him while he started asking questions of his own. Kept asking about some "low ballers" or whatever.

I was correct about him being partly organic, he had saliva. Collected some of that and some tissue.

I need to collect more, but they unfused after a few hours, what an inconvenience. Dave and Buck seemed a bit more happy, albeit exhausted. A part of me told me to force the fusion back together, they need space to unfuse, to turn from one Suit into two obvious needs space. If I just FORCED High Roller into something like a box, he wouldn't be able to unfuse. I didn't act on those thoughts. I don't want to draw the ire of High Roller, seeing what he can effortlessly do.

Pete's looking at me funny.

I'm going to go test what I collected of High Roller. Results documented below;

The reason the oil was red was because it was mixed with blood. Why would his body be making blood to keep him alive alongside oil, I don't know. More tests will be needed to no. This is not about studying High Roller, even if he is one interesting specimen. This is about finding a cure, I must stay focused.

He is immune. I tested some of the cells I collected from him in a controlled environment with some field samples I collected of the disease. His cells killed the disease, always.

Feathers smelled like fruit punch.

He is the cure.

He is our only hope.

place of origin: toontown central days into infection: month 0, day 25

NEXT

[mudhamster]

CHWHWN: 12. December " ??? "

The chair opposite him was pulled from the table by its backrest, turned and suddenly Izuku found himself in the crosshairs of a very intense, gut-melting stare.

"Deku."

Izuku stares back at Katsuki in amazement over his tea, and then checks if his friends if they could see the same thing when Shouto says, "I see him too," , casting a suspicious glance over the table. Katsuki, ignoring everything and everyone at the breakfast table, gets straight to the point. 

"I got something useless. Again."

Oh. 

"I'm ...sorry," Izuku replied and lowered his cup. 

Kacchan just pursed his lips and grabbed the small pile of cucumber slices on Izuku's plate, shoving them into his mouth one by one as if they were coins and he was a fairground ride. Izuku was silent, blood coursing under his skin, no doubt already red around the ears, wondering if Katsuki would at least tell him today WHAT he had drawn but didn't need.

When the tension became palpable and Izuku saw Todoroki subtly covering his own plate with his cup of green tea out of the corner of his eye, Kacchan finally continued. But it wasn't information about what had been on his note today.

"I'm going home either on the 22nd or 23rd." 

To Izuku's shock, he put the two unknown notes on the table between them. Right in the middle, for everyone to see. Although upside down, so that he couldn't read the text. 

"I could draw two lots for the two or three days we won't see each other before Christmas. One for yesterday and a second one for today."

Ugh, no. Izuku would get an aneurysm if he had to do two of the more extensive things in one day. So, no.

"You can save them for after Christmas," he explained quickly, "I figured we wouldn't see each other that day. That's why you can't open the last piece until all the others are used up anyway. That a … a rule."

"I see."

Red eyes turned into skeptical slits and Izuku shrugged innocently. 

"I'm sorry," Ochako spoke up next to him, "but what are you talking about?" Curiously, she reached for the two pieces of paper in front of Kacchan, but he covered them with his hand in a flash and pretended to bite her fingers.

"Deku made me a calendar," he then embarrassed him without even a hint of hesitation.

"A calendar?"

"Yup. A new damn useless surprise every day."

"How ... thoughtful."

Was he overinterpreting? Or did Ochako sound sweeter than belladonna honey? She and Kacchan exchanged a long look, like two dusty but never quite satisfied rivals. Katsuki's grin grew wide and smug as he cupped his chin in one hand and asked with feigned interest, "What did you get, moonface?"

...oh shit. His head turned to Ochako, who sat frozen next to him. On the other side, he felt like half of his body was being transferred to the permafrost. Time to remind his two best friends that Katsuki Bakugou was not only an annoying bastard who constantly drove him and all his friends to the brink of insanity, but also the only one who had ever enchanted Izuku more violently than All-Might. A weak comparison, but the point should be clear: Kacchan was sugoi and his friends shouldn't tease him. He straightened his shoulders and jumped between the fronts. 

"You're the only one with such a calendar, Kacchan," he said.

Ochako clicked her tongue. Izuku's leg thawed. 

Was he a bad friend if he was happy about Kacchan's mean but very proud grin?

"What did you get Bakugou?" Uraraka asked, tilting her head to the two pieces of paper on the table.

"He can tell you that himself, can't he? Nerd?"

"Yep."

"So no change, then," Kacchan chuckled, and Todoroki's cup was pushed aside, his half of the cucumber sprinkled with chili flakes changing hands in a matter of seconds, "Maybe you had more useful idea for the next batch. See you around, loser."

With a tap on the table, he got up and left the common room, munching on the cucumber in plain sight.

"You made him a calendar?" Ochako asked, eyes still on the departing blonde, "A self-made calendar with handwritten notes?"

Shouto pushed back his cup with a long sigh, "What's in it that he can't ... use?"

"I don't know," Izuku replied, thinking back to yesterday's conversation, "I put a lot of things in there... like a joke or a handshake... but I didn't assume at the time that he would accept it and really stick with it. That surprised me myself."

"He seems to take it seriously enough, to let you know when he's no longer here, but already at home."

That's true. Maybe it was because of yesterday, his puny appearance in front of Kacchan's room door, pathetic as a wet rabbit. Maybe that was it. But maybe not. 

"Yeah. That's... unexpected too," he murmured, sinking back into the hard cafeteria chair, "I was expecting him to forget to draw a note for a few days anyway, hence the rule about the 24-"

Brown eyes burned like lasers at his temple. "What's in the 24?"

"Secret- until Kacchan opens all the other numbers."

"That's clear, but you can tell us, can't you?"

"No," he laughed meekly. No one but him would ever know what he had dared to do if his plan went wrong. But that was okay. Tough. But okay. 

"If Kacchan doesn't open it, no one will ever know what was inside."

[daedalusdavinci]

and just to end it all. eddiebats with 23 and "things you said when you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid (homoerotic) (rivals) (idiots)" (the flavor)

23. things you said [make your own] moth this request is so incoherent i shouldnt even count it. send a nonsense request get a nonsense answer. youre getting arkham city riddlebat and youre going to fucking like it. OBVIOUSLY spoilers for arkham city

“You cheated,” Edward hissed, indignant even as he scrambled backward, out of his chair. Behind him, the monitors displayed every goddamn riddle room, blueprints and prototypes that tripped him scattered across the floor. He couldn’t move fast enough to escape the way Bruce’s hand fisted in his collar, slamming him back into the wall.

“You tried to murder people,” Bruce returned, his voice steady compared to Edward’s pitching, terrified one, deep and dangerous. He towered over Edward, forearm pressed across his chest, crowding into his space like an impending doom.

Edward’s laugh was harsh and a little hysterical, his fingers scrabbling for purchase in the leather and kevlar of Bruce’s suit. “Big words from the murderer. What finally drove you to it? What did he do to earn that level of wrath?”

Bruce’s grip tightened, his voice coming out through gritted teeth. “I didn’t kill him.”

“Didn’t you?” Edward’s grip on his wrist was tight, but not tight enough. They both knew he didn’t have the strength to fight Bruce off. “Riddle me this. A man is on the brink of death, and only the doctor can save him. The doctor tries his best, but in the end, the man dies. But who made the wounds, Batman? If you turn away with the last exhale, can you deny your involvement forever?”

“He made the Titan formula.”

“But who drove him to it? How mad does a man have to become to get five seconds of your attention?”

“You’re insane.”

“So will you kill me, next?” Edward had let go of his wrist, and now, he grabbed the collar of Bruce’s cape. His fingers fisted into it as he dragged Bruce closer- too close. The green of his eyes burned fierce and bright behind his glasses. “I never killed anyone. But at least I can admit when I’ve cheated.”

Incredulity blazed through Bruce, turning outraged as he caught up to Edward’s real point. “That’s all you care about. That’s the only thing that matters to you. It’s all a game.”

“Of course it is.” Edward rolled his eyes so hard Bruce thought he might pull something, yanking hard on Bruce’s collar. “No wonder you cheated. You must be stupider than I thought.”

Bruce stumbled into him, hands dropping to grip Edward’s hips instead when there was no room left between them. It would be easy to subdue him- to tie him up and leave him here, the way Bruce had with so many other villains in the past twenty-four hours. But Bruce let him pull him closer, ducking his head so easily so that his nose pushed against Edward’s cheek. The way he squeezed Edward’s hips was bruising, threatening, but he knew in the curl of Edward’s lips that he’d lost that ground already.

Edward felt cold and thin. His clothes were ratty and ragged, streaked with oil and dirt and countless other things, and his lips were chapped and rough. Arkham City had not been kind to him, even with all his resourcefulness, but he still managed to kiss Bruce like he could take him apart with his tongue alone, hard and eager and far too clever with it. His fingers dug into the back of Bruce’s neck and slid across his side, like he couldn’t touch enough of him, no matter how many times they’d done this. The punched-out sound he made when Bruce pulled away made it hard not to kiss him again, and lower.

But Bruce wasn’t in the market to offer Edward pity after everything he’d done. Instead, he leaned closer, letting his teeth catch on Edward’s earlobe, just for the sake of teasing him. “Maybe you’re not as smart as you think. I didn’t cheat. Puzzle that one out.”

At the click of the handcuffs, he could have taken a picture of the rage that flashed across Edward’s face.

[yuukei-yikes]

you are so right about takane and kano being besties. they are late night gossip buddies!!!!!! any contradicting canon can rip that from my cold dead hands

they would 100% goofingly share the worst hot takes with each other as some kinda game. or like. point at something random and be like "i need your strongest opinion on this right now." just…. the friendship vibe that i can only succinctly sum up as "late night gossip buddies"

and personally i feel like post-str takane would probably be the person kano would be most comfortable with confiding in because she's just the right ratio of outsider-to-insider. i mean yobanashi deceive is basically just kano traumadumping to ene right lol

LIKE FOR REAL!!!! EXACTLY!!!! SRRY IN MY LAST ASK I ALREADY WENT OVER KANO&TAKANE PARALLELS BUT MAN THEYRE EVERYTHING TO ME THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS!!!! chaos duo for real.

kano making all these parallels. knowing takane is just like him fr because she's also playing a role, she's got the same kind of twisted personality, how out of all people he chooses HER to open up to for the first time, says he's not looking to make her dislike him, says he's jealous of her ability to doubt people & her sense of self, also in the novel route THEY DIE TOGETHER....

he sees himself in her and how he'd like to be. like theyre so so SO similar. like him she is playing a role yet takane manages to know who she is and what she wants or likes or hates. like him she's also someone who's lost their most precious person yet manages to move forward and keep going without resenting anyone and in fact going out of her way to help someone else. kano is so insanely jealous of it all💗

sorry. i will go insane about takane AGAIN i literally just did in the other ask but teehee MORE

takane's resilience, determination and will to live and help and love and forgive despite everything always gets me. she's so warm and loving *punches wall* its why i love her so much and also why i hate second manga route so much. takane would never kill herself. shoves this in ur face

like that's why takane gets opening eyes in the first place!!!!! opening eyes was the ability that was allowing azami to appear before others inside the daze and once she gives it to takane, azami is at the brink of disappearance (holds head remembering azami keeps giving out her snakes as a way to save as much people as possible even if it means dying BUT THATS NOT WHAT WERE TALKING ABOUT) but this translates into takane as well. like even if she is dead she wants to be out here. she will make a place for herself. takane has the will to live, and will always make it out of anywhere as long as she's got herself, even if she's alone. she literally projects herself into existence even when dead thats how damn stubborn she is. determined to tell haruka her feelings as SOON as she realises them without thinking of what that means for their relationship because that's just not her priority, her priority is to let him know in the first place. AUUUGGHH. TAKANE BEST CHARACTER EVER I LOVE U TAKANE also why harutaka is so awesome because it's cute that out of everyone its TAKANE with all these characteristics who gets the love story arc and then actually manages to have a happy ending with someone as loving and caring as haruka!!! and it goes both ways!! except im not talking abt haruka so!!! sniff sniff... str harutaka... (holds head)

erm. yeah. anyways. sorry for going crazy again. i just love takane💗 LITERALLY I JUSY MAKE EVERYTHING ABT HARUTAKA SORRY OK RIGHT KANOBACK TO KANO

i think kano is the kind to notice all these things and be like Man. wtf. but like i said!!! i hate the antagonistic light of it. i know kano's an ass and thats sorta the point, but isn't he like. like the shit he does to takane and the way he talks of her from his pov grazes the unlikable. because we all love piece of shit morally gray characters like kano like i LOVE kano, he's such an interesting character and i love all the nuance u need when consuming kagepro and seeing everything he does but shit likethe way he acts with takane goes a little over the line to me bc it has no real basis other than angry at takane by proxy to shintaro and/or the jealousy (but then again its not like the jealousy is made into such a big deal in the first place and its just a passing comment) like it just seems unfair and uncalled for. like he's REALLY taking it out on her and then played as a joke.

SO TO ME. KANO HELPING TAKANE WITH HER BODY MEANS A LOT. he can go cry outside LATER. to me that is his way of apologizing too. in his little twisted way!!! like not only is here ur body but i will hold you and dry you and get you clothes and some food and water. takane allowing someone to pick her up and see her when vulnerable and kano helping someone his sister adored it just rewires my brain. theyre both silent thru it all but make it through. AUUUGGHHHH IT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOOOD

AND YEAH EVERYTHING U SAID 10000%% takane being the perfect ratio outsider to insider is SUCH A PERFECT WAY TO PUT IT AUUGGHH also gossip buddies prank masterminds BEST. FRIENDS. FOREVER. for real!!!!

[andaniellight]

you're one of the most memorable authors that i liked back in my jujutsu kaisen phase and knowing you're currently into one piece now as a multishipper and i'm actually this 👌🏻 close to have a ship in one piece as well (possibly zolu or zosan tbh) thanks to you, do you ship anyone with anyone else in one piece? if there aren't, can i know your headcanons towards the one piece ships that you ship?

HI ! HELLO ! ! !

Oh, shit, "one of the most memorable authors"? Where did that come from! Genuinely, what a title. Either way, I'm honored tho, thank you so much :D Forever grateful that people letting me know they liked my stuff, so I hope you enjoyed your stay in this shit show of mine (assuming you must've been following me since, what, 1 year ago? 2 years ago?) !!! I truly thank you for giving all of my stories a chance back in JJK phase <3 and sorry if they ever broke your heart......

Now, for other ships in One Piece beside ZoLu and ZoSan (and please keep in mind that that means I also ship ZoLuSan ok HAHAH), I'll have to warn you first that this answer will wander every where since my thoughts are all over the place.

I really like Frobin's dynamics (Franky & Robin). I love them as much as I love Nami and Vivi's dynamics. Thanks to that particular scene where Robin turned into a literal angel growing a pair of wings to save Franky from falling, I guess? Also realized that Frobin is basically a ship of 'a character who has/grew up with siblings x a character who's an only child' something something. And, I know, as I write this down, a lot of people would think that 'oh what a cheap reason to ship characters like that', but I do have the tendencies of shipping characters in critical moments (?)

Or, if I'm allowed to summarize it, my One Piece ships are basically a bunch of "a character with a very specific and precise personal dream to achieve that they don't really think it might effect the others so greatly so long they get to experience a life of their own and feel truly alive" x "a character whose dream is to 'serve' other people because they know they're capable and are willing to go the extra miles to prove that it is such the greatest ability to have"

That's how I started shipping ZoLu in the first place anyway; in a huge critical moment that had a lifechanging impact. Luffy shielding Zoro from bullets on a whim on their first meeting with 0 hesitation not only because he could do it without dying but also he knew Zoro would suffer further in the most unfair way (because bullets hurt normal human, okay? AND ZORO WAS TIED DEFENSELESS) WHICH THEN turns into Zoro repaying that to Luffy right away but still he stayed by his side, even decided to devote his life for this silly lil guy who just saved him despite knowing Luffy must be a much stronger person than him because of the devil fruit he ate the sheer willpower Luffy has and has shown whenever he announces about this dream to be the king of the pirates (an even more insane dream than Zoro's, and Zoro understood this as well).

The same thing for Nami and Vivi. The build up of their bond in Alabasta was just [chef kiss] MWAH. Postponing each other's priorities to prioritizes the other's needs instead. Nami understood what a grave dread Vivi was feeling for her oppressed country she'd rather die than letting her to feel that even longer, shared sentiments and whatnot, but Vivi feared for Nami's life in the brink of death because of a deadly illness and it's louder and fiercer than anyone could expect. Their backstory are so similar in a way but they did what they had to because of different reasons entirely. This kind of mindset I believe was an offspring or some sort from how they grew up where they had to "betray" their loved ones, by abandoning them temporarily, for the sake of their loved ones' safety.

And for Frobin... Robin used to disregard her life so easily because she has no one else left that she cared about, but now, she has a dream to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History of the One Piece world including the Void Century, continuing the research of her mother Nico Olvia and her old mentor Clover. While Franky on the other hand has a dream to build a ship to go on countless adventures and see that ship reach "Laugh Tale", and this dream of his was based on the discipline of kindness he's built along the people he cared about and still continues to care about despite the distance and everything.

Anyways. Those are pretty much a handful of ships that I ship aside from ZoLu that have, at least, "patterns", and a couple of layers of why-s they're interesting to ship, to me. Unlike ZoSan, which, I basically ship solely based on horny reasons-

[annaizscribbling]

I WANT TO KNOW!!! ABOUT ELLIE!!! i wanna know about the pink girl!!! shes very cute and sweet (and reminds me a lot of patton kinda) and i want to know more about her.

first of all, when i think of her i kinda think of jules from euphoria, but like in her pastel stages when she wasnt fucked up (/pos). shes so bubblegum. like, hubba bubba girl, yknow?

can i learn a little about her home life? what inspired her to be the way she is? shes been very fluffy since she was a child, clearly, but why? why not be angry at the world?

also you may already have talked about this but i havent scrolled through ur entire calypsokimm tag so i dont know, how did she meet the other girls?

I love Ellie so very much and will happily talk about her <3 fair warning I don't have quite as much backstory laid out for her like I do for Calypso (Cal has the most complex story by far, for obvious reasons, but the other's all have stories, most are just not as detailed/still in development) but there is still going to be so much.

I haven't watched euphoria do idk Jules outside of like, pretty pictures, but I can confirm that Ellie is very hubba bubba bubblegum girl

As I've mentioned in passing, my OCs were originally going to my own sides, but I very quickly decided I could do more with them as their own people. Ellie was set to be the bulk of my emotions, my vulnerability, and my more childish tendencies. I did not want one side to be morality, because I would have given that job to Logic/Athena, which probably tells you something about me as a person lol.

But she would have taken on Patton's character type, as bubbly, oblivious, honest, childish, and angelic in terms of virtue.

Most of the girls have names that fit them perfectly because of like origins and meanings and even what countries they came from, but not Ellie. I looked it up just now, and it means 'light' which is surprisingly fitting for her.

The reason I named her Ellie was simply after my childhood dog. She (the dog) is very old now, but still with us and deeply loved. We first got her when I was around seven or so, and at the time, I adored the name, and always loved to play pretend using it as my character. When we got the dog, my brother suggested it and here we are 11 years later.

All of my girls embody different parts of me, quite literally, because that was the original plan. Ellie literally has the name I used to play pretend with as a kid, and is the name of my oldest pet.

She's unique in that way, as well as her color scheme even. She's color coded with light blue (nod to pat) and pink. Her hair is dyed blue save the ends, which are still her natural brown for some reason.

As for her personality, Ellie is incredibly sunny. She lights up the room as soon as she walks in, she's so good at charming people with earnest conversation and an easy going excitable nature that draws people in. She's lighthearted, funny, giggly, and has a special knack for understanding people. She can be impulsive, wild, and high energy at all times. Sometimes she's reckless, filled with a deep wonder and adoration for the world around her and the things within it. She feels like she's bubbling over with a profound joy for everything around her.

The world is beautiful, to Ellie. It's gorgeous and overwhelming, but so so worth it.

She can be observant, but only when it comes to a person's character, how they work, what they like, and the things that make them special. She won't notice the new curtains or remember what she had breakfast or lots of other basic things that drive Athena to the brink of insanity, but she knows Athena's tells for when she's especially upset, or the sweater she wears when she's thinking about her boyfriend, or even the food she makes when she didn't sleep well the night before. Ellie is good at people, she understands them on a deep and empathic level, she just doesn't notice that she ran another red light by mistake.

Her emotional intelligence comes across as older than she is. In her late twenties, she manages to carry both her almost innocent giddy personality and her very calm, mature, almost ancient understanding of anyone she comes across. She cares, in an honest and loving way that's so genuine it's nearly startling. She almost effortlessly knows how to comfort people, whatever your love language is when you need it, or even what type of person you need. She can be tender and motherly, she can be playful like a sibling, supportive like a friend, or just a loving figure who'll listen to you when you have nobody else.

She's the closest with Bree, but Ellie is good friends with all of her roommates. She makes a point of coaxing Athena and Luna especially into being more open, and she's managed to get them to open up more, so they're able to have friendships where they can all be vulnerable, even where they hate it.

Ellie really is a special person, on some level she knows it. It isn't through grand gestures or a global impact. She doesn't really care too much about leaving her mark on the world or being infamous. Ellie is just different, she understands people. She loves them. She is unique

Alright I'll give some actual background now. It'll explain some of that.

Ellie grew up pretty middle class, her parents had a rocky relationship even before she came along, but they kept their struggling relationship under wraps and just stewed. Ellie was an only child, as her parents quickly realized that having a child didn't fix anything for them, and having another would just be more difficult.

Ellie would never grow up feeling loved by her mother and father.

She was always provided basic necessities as well as entertainment, but was never close or even wanted around her parents, not unless they were in public.

Her parents weren't rich, but were well established in their social circles. They came from a very large extended family with high expectations for how well a family should get along. From neighborhoods, coworkers, friends, and family, it was important to Ellie's family that they looked like the ideal family.

From as young as six years old, Ellie knew when to smile, when it was okay to hug her parents, and when she was expected to sit in her father's lap or hide behind her mom's leg. It never felt real to her, it just felt right. Mom and Dad smiled and laughed with her in public, dad would scoop her up, bouncing her and saying something silly whenever grandma was watching them. Mom would nod when Ellie made a cute comment to Mom's friend. They never said it explicitly, Ellie just learned what was expected of her, what made Mom and Dad happy.

And Ellie really wanted them to be happy.

They fought and screamed at home. They hated eating dinner together, it always ended up so tense and snappy when they did. Ellie didn't understand the numbers and names they were talking about but they made everything scarier. She never knew when the air would break and it would become a true fight. Ellie would be tersely sent to the other room, and Ellie would sit far back on the couch with her hands in her lap, fists around her dress, and her eyes locked straight ahead. She tried desperately not to hear it, or think about it. It was too scary to listen to the yelling.

She wasn't sure if she loved how they seemed to love her when they weren't fighting, or if she just feared the anxiety that rose and bubbled in her chest when they fought.

So she learned. She learned to do good things. if she cleaned the kitchen, Daddy wasn't as annoyed when he came home. If she complimented Mom's body a whole bunch, she'd be lighter, and less likely to start snapping at Dad. She memorized all of their favorite movies and books, so she could always bring them up or play them on TV. It was a quick way to distract them after dinner, if they made it through dinner at all.

They liked when she was cute and quiet. They liked when she made simple friends and did easy activities with them. They liked when she did arts and crafts to put on the fridge. They liked when she was curious about all the right parts of their jobs. They liked when she made safe lighthearted jokes, but only when the mood was correct.

Ellie learned all of the subjects that set Dad off. Ellie learned what tones lead Mom down an angrier path. She learned when and where to interrupt before either parent upset the other.

When she was ten, her father ended up getting a hefty promotion. It changed their dynamic, for the better at first, but everything quickly came back to the stressful everyday life she was so accustomed to.

Then she met Bree, one of her new neighbors.

Ellie had always worked hard to keep herself under control. Make sure all of her qualities were kept under wraps and easy to digest. She kept her positivity dialed all the way up, kept herself as quiet as possible, and never pursued anything impulsive, loud, adventurous, or unpredictable. There was a deep longing inside of her, that wanted nothing more than to throw on her favorite neon blue cardigan and run barefoot through the park, play with other kids, die laughing at a schoolmate, get messy in the mud on a rainy day, finally listen to loud music and scream it without caring who hears, and do things at the drop of a hat.

As desperately as she wanted it, none of that was an option, not in her family. She wasn't sure if she was angry, even as an adult reflecting on it, she's not sure. Adult Ellie might be angry on her younger self's behalf, but little Ellie wasn't angry, just very very scared, and very sad. Her little body was nearly in tatters trying to keep so much love held back, but there was no one to receive or give her the love she craved.

So she spend her days fantasizing about the person she wished she was, but could never be.

But Bree was like that. Bree was very much like that person she wished she was.

Bree was loud. She loved attention as much as she loved giving it. She liked shiny things and singing at the top of her lungs to songs in a language Ellie doesn't know. She loves swooshy dresses and glitter, and is constantly affectionate with her family and friends. She did fun things, she climbed trees, helped her mom cook, ran down the street to meet with her friends, laughed without monitoring her volume, made messes she begrudgingly cleaned. She could be whiny or pouty, but it never stuck and she was always ready to pull herself up. She was feisty maybe petty, and fun. Bree was so fun and Bree's parents didn't dislike the way she had fun. They reigned her in if she got too wild, but they loved her, even when she was difficult or loud.

It shocked Ellie.

Because it was everything Ellie had every dreamed of, living just three doors down.

Somehow they became friends after meeting a few times at block parties and the local pool, and Ellie was introduced to a brand new world. It was like the planet turned upside down. For the first time in her life, Ellie could be herself.

They could be loud, spontaneous, wild, silly, childish, messy, and everything else a 10 year old child was supposed to be. Bree's house was a safe place, with a family who was charmed by her gentle soul and sweet friendship with their youngest daughter. It was a friendship that saved Ellie from the brink of giving up, even as young as she was.

And life went on.

Ellie had neither the desire or the ability to articulate what her homelife was like, so her friendship with Bree was a simply a solace from it all, and the two grew and remained almost impossibly close. The two even ended up at the same school after the next summer, and their days were filled with each other. Endless memories and shrieks of laughter filling their days.

It was the happiest few years of her entire life thus far.

Then her parents took her out of that school to switch her to another. She silently lamented the loss of seeing Bree daily, but still spent copious amounts of time with her outside of school. Things were still okay, things were still happy. She was okay. Everything was okay. Her parents were difficult, but there was peace, life was worth it, and her love for the world had a place to go. She just had to smile

Then Calypso happened.

Ellie loved Cal. She was accepting another person into her life, almost to the same extent that she trusted Bree. Cal was soft and kind, good and pure and gentle. Calypso was not, and the pain of that betrayal nearly broke her.

She spiraled for weeks, barely sleeping, eating, or even getting out of bed for anything but school. Her parents paid little attention, but Bree's family did express some concern that Ellie's own parents pretended to care about. The fighting had been infinitely worse lately, with nonstop screaming, breaking things, kicking each other out of the house. She wasn't sure if it ever got physical, and she was terrified of finding out. Ellie barely saw them, but when she did, she'd just smile. She was so good at smiling. Smile. Smile. Just smile.

She hated Calypso, missed her, loved her, grieved her, despised her.

But Calypso revealed the truth to her, in a terrible, cruel way that ached just to think about.

Ellie lied in order to survive, and it hurt.

It was that simple.

Good thing Ellie liked a challenge

[claireandacat]

CB’s brain dump. What even am I talking about?

You know those burner instagram accounts that try to impersonate a celebrity or some fan account? Yeah one just tried to message me.

So I thought this account was a friendly fan account, the kind that post pictures and montages of a particular celebrity or fictional character or sometimes both. My account is private because I got an ex that likes to be nosey. This person had to request to follow me and their account was private too so I had to follow them back. Only to find there was zero followers and posts which is my dead giveaway of a spam account. They tried to message me a couple days ago and I unfollowed them. But yet in the back of my mind I thought this is a brand new fan account I’ll give it a chance. Nope. I guess this is the millennial way of scamming folks now? But we millennials (and some of Gen X) and onwards are tech savvy and can kinda tell if it looks fishy or is.

You know often times we hear of old people getting scammed and they drain their bank accounts for this fake person that will never show up. Or the scammers call them demanding they pay for something in gift cards and if they don’t pay something bad will happen. When I worked at a grocery store I often heard from customer service that someone tried to go in and withdraw their life savings and here came customer service explaining to this person to hang up and that who they’re talking to isn’t legit. They are often very thankful and would give us a card thanking us. I wasn’t in the customer service department but oftentimes the cards were hung on the employee bulletin board for all us to see.

Heck my grandpa on my dad’s side (God rest his soul) almost fell for a publishers clearinghouse scam. My dad and step aunt had to go in and investigate for him.

At the Urgent care I worked at we would often get these calls starting with “please don’t hang up…!” About donating money to the police? Like sir this is a medical facility that is owned by a corporation. I had another call from some people claiming we were some people we associated with (like a cleaning company or something) and wanted to talk to not my clinic manager, my district manager. They knew her name. THEY KNEW HER NAME! Just the first name but still that’s creepy.

I put them on hold while I tried to get ahold of said district manager and they hung up.

I could get into that AI is taking over scam calls nowadays and making very real sounding hostage situation calls. I know my mom is freaked out about that so now we have a family code word.

No I’m here to get my frustrations out about things I don’t fully understand and maybe whoever the heck reads this might not understand these things either.

What do people who scam do with their lives? How do you live with the fact that you’re scamming people and stealing their money? How does one live with that on their conscious?

I left the urgent care I worked at because of corporate policies that gate kept patients because I couldn’t tell them whether or not we can see them for that because that was considered “turning people away”. Imagine all the piss I took when someone waited a bit, paid for their visit and then they were told that we couldn’t help them. I was done. Place was driving me to the brink of insanity.

Do these people have lives? I imagine they don’t if they’re catfishing people to send them money to the point of cleaning these people out. They don’t have a life so they find someone to make a false reality with. These people need Jesus.

There is a special place in purgatory for imposters, thieves, cat fishers and scammers.

Another thing I do not understand is exes. 5 years ago I broke up with my first “real” boyfriend. We had dated for 8 months but looking back I was questioning my feelings on the relationship until something told me to leave him. Thank the lord I left his ass because when I would look back and reflect on that relationship, there was so many red flags I disregarded. I should’ve left when he said I love you on the second date. THE SECOND DATE. Or the time he went out of town with his family and didn’t tell me because he was afraid…? Or the time he would forget about some of my boundaries. Red flags galore.

I cut off ALL forms of contact with him when I dumped him. First it was so I wouldn’t be tempted to do what I call stalking and judging basically a form of bullying and that’s not good for you. Second was he would often talk about his ex when we were together. She too, cut him off and he was apparently sad about that? So I took a page from that girl’s book. Plus I didn’t want him talking about me to whoever he dated next. Like nope.

4 years pass with blocking this guy. I basically have thrived since that relationship.

This previous summer I get a text from a number I don’t recognize but I can see their Apple avatar (or whatever the heck you call those Apple wannabe emojis with your face?) I read the text and my stomach drops. Mr. Love you on the second date ex wants to chat because it’s been awhile.

DELETE the guy deserves no attention from me

Plus what part of 4 years ZERO contact said hey let’s chat?! Like I’m an old childhood friend.

Months pass by and it’s late November-December. Work is CHAOTIC. All those sickness that usually run rampant like colds, strep and flu are in full force. Everyone and their mother is getting seen at the urgent care I was at. Like there was nights I didn’t get out until 10pm (the place closed at 8) so I was busy and also depressed and had another stressor in my life

Unfamiliar number texts me good morning for like a few days straight, thinking it was some MLM or scam.

I delete it and move on with my hellish work day

Finally it texts again and this time I decide to ask who they are.

The ex I cut off. Texting good morning like I’m some friend. As if zero response from the summer text didn’t tell him anything.

Blocked. Goodbye. There’s a reason my breakup song was So long dearie from Hello! Dolly.

To anyone going through a breakup, you are strong, you are loved and you will get through this rough patch. Do not go running back to your ex even if you still have feelings. It will just hurt you more.

Relationships really change a person. Somehow I had trauma from this one. He never laid a hand on me but he was anxiously attached. Thinking about him was like nails on a chalkboard I couldn’t stand it. It took me 3 years to finally reevaluate and recover enough to go back into the dating pool. It took 4 years to not cringe looking at Spider-Man any thing. I couldn’t even watch a Marvel movie until last year. I will not step foot into an AMC theater and i absolutely will not ever watch Shape of Water again. It’s amazing how those things are just ruined for me because of a cringy relationship.

I came into writing this post with expectations to write about things I don’t understand, like scammers. I realized that didn’t have much depth to it so I talked about another thing that annoys me and here we are to an adhd brain dump of a post.

I hope you enjoy my rambling.

[decennia]

I don't know who needs to fucking hear this, but I'm about to say it with my full chest:

SEVERUS SNAPE DESERVES NO RIGHTS, I SAID WHAT I SAID.

Why? I'll tell you why:

Let's start with Neville Longbottom. Often the butt of the joke, Neville was often played up for comedic effect, so I can understand why we never took the implications of his boggart seriously.

But the fact of the matter is: Neville Longbottom was more terrified of his potion's teacher than he was of Bellatrix Lestrange, a woman who was a proud Death Eater who tortured his parents into insanity, a fate several people throughout the series state as "worse than death."

I've heard the argument from Snape Apologists that Boggarts are "superficial" creatures, so they don't go much deeper for a fear of yours, and, having gleaned a recent and prevalent one, will shift into that. Hence why it would be Snape, who recently tormented Neville, rather than Bellatrix, who Neville has never met.

It still stands, however, that Bellatrix is a known Death Eater, and Snape was just his potion's teacher.

We also see from Harry's own experience with the boggart, that the boggart hesitated before turning into the dementor. It "chose" which of Harry's fears to become, Voldemort, or fear itself?

Now, because I always listen to both sides of a story, try and see it from both perspectives before I draw a conclusion, I asked myself "why?"

There never is a good reason for abuse, but I still tried to look at it from Snape's eyes. And the conclusion drawn was literally the same as almost every single motivation for every one of Snape's decisions: because of Lily.

Neville was born several hours before Harry, and was a contender for being "the Chosen One" (the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies) but Voldemort chose Harry.

By Snape's logic, it meant that if Voldemort had chosen Neville, Lily would've still been alive for him to woefully pine for from a distance.

And so he takes it out on a fucking c h i l d.

He abuses him, torments him, and even forces Neville to poison his pet toad, Trevor, who has been shown to be of incredible significance to Neville.

And when the potion doesn't poison Trevor? And actually proved to be a competent potion? Snape made his displeasure known by deducting five points from Gryffindor.

I know that's not a Big Deal™ in the grand scheme of things, but we have to remember that Neville was a CHILD.

Moving on from Neville, let's get to: Lily.

Remember what I said before, about Lily being his end-all and be-all for everything? I meant it.

I'm not saying she was the sole reason Snape became a Death Eater, but she was the "last straw."

Snape's dislike for muggles stemmed not from Lily (of course not, he loved her), but from his father. Yes, I remembered his father, Tobias Snape. The muggle, the abuser. Apples and trees, I guess. From what I recall, Tobias was never physically abusive towards Eileen, Snape's mother, but he was emotionally and mentally abusive towards her. This would be cause for resentment for any young child growing up in that environment.

But, for a moment, may I direct your attention to Harry James Potter?

Who grew up that exact same way with the Dursleys?

Who was also neglected (Severus was said to have ill-fitting, mismatched clothes, sound familiar?) but who also did not have Eileen there to protect him?

And did Harry ever become a member of a muggle hate group? (No. The answer is no, in case you all didn't remember that Very Important Detail of the series).

So, yes, Snape was abused, and no, I am not condoning it, I do sympathize with him on that front: no child should ever go through that. Ever. No matter the fucking child, there is no good reason for it. But do I condone his actions later on in life? Absolutely not.

Because he called Lily a "filthy mudblood."

Not just "mudblood", but a filthy one, too. And why did he do that? Because she defended him against his bullies. Yes, Sirius and James were bullies, I guess everyone's faves are a little problematic in this bitch.

And not only did he call her that, but he also was besties with people who fancied themselves the next generation of Death Eaters.

And when Lily asked him if he STILL intended on becoming one, he never gave her an answer, prompting her to sectumsempra all ties with him. Meaning, she probably gave him multiple chances to not be a raging bigot, none of which he took. Love of his life my fucking toe, gtfo—

Also, Snape obviously knew what his "friends" were doing at the time. Particularly, and especially, Mulciber's attack on Mary Macdonald.

Now, we can't talk about Lily without talking about James and the Marauders.

I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THAT THE MARAUDERS BULLIED SNAPE, OKAY? But listen up: still not a good enough reason to join the wizarding world's KKK. Actually there is no good reason, period, end of message, send tweet.

He loathed them so much, he literally gave zero fucks about their wellbeing.

Even though! Sirius' biggest crime against Severus is jokingly telling him to follow Remus Lupin under the Whomping Willow during that time of the month.

And Severus would swear that James' biggest crime against him (after "stealing" Lily, of course) would be stopping him from encountering the werewolf and saving his fucking life.

Where the fuck was that reciprocated energy when Snape KNEW that James was also marked for death?

Also, are you going to tell me, that with his ear so pressed to the ground about news on Lily, that he didn't know who the real rat was? That he didn't know that it was Peter Pettigrew? This is speculatory, but... Snape had to have known that Sirius was not the betrayer, he must've at least known it was Pettigrew, meaning he let an innocent man waste away in Azkaban and for what? Something that happened when they were kids? I wonder why Sirius is a "stray dog" idk probably because someone let him rot in Azkaban for thirteen years?

Don't even get me started on how he literally stepped over James' body to get to Lily's while Harry sat there crying. Please. Or the fact that he only wanted Lily spared? He literally said "yes, only her, please, Dark Lord, fuck that newborn"?

OKAY AND MY FINAL POINT BECAUSE THIS GOT TOO LONG AND HONESTLY I'M LITERALLY WAY TOO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS POINT... I PRESENT TO THE COURT: THE CARROWS.

Severus had been made headmaster of Hogwarts, and what does he do? Allow the Carrows to torture muggleborns and first years. Eleven year olds. Disgusting. Please. What the fuck.

I don't think Severus Snape died a fucking hero, or in "penance." NOT when twelve hours prior, he'd been turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to eleven year olds screaming as the Cruciatus Curse was used on them.

Also, James never sexually harassed Lily? Wanna discuss sexual harassment? How does "waiting outside the Gryffindor common room until someone lets you in even though it has been made very clear that the person you want to speak to doesn't want to speak to you" sound?

I am not denying that Severus Snape is a tragic character; he's a very complex and somewhat interesting one, even. All I am saying is that I don't think saying "always" on the brink of death excuses any of your past actions. He's a martyr at best — having his sins "forgiven" by sacrificing himself for a just cause.

Yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on. But, as always, I am open to a respectful conversation (not argument, conversation). If you disagree, I'd love to hear why. Try and change my mind; as long as you do so respectfully, I will hear you out.

[edenmemes]

horizon zero dawn starters

❝  you can sense it. you already know you’re going to lose.  ❞ ❝  did you want to be alone?  ❞ ❝  you wouldn’t be so eager to speak with me if you knew me.  ❞ ❝  that will draw attention. we won’t have this place to ourselves for long now.  ❞ ❝  it’s a world worth fighting for. not just here. everywhere.  ❞ ❝  trying to live up to glorious pasts has a way of getting people killed.  ❞ ❝  never celebrate a victory before it’s earned.  ❞ ❝  i crave vengeance. do you?  ❞ ❝  my comrades weren’t so lucky. i might shed a tear, if they weren’t all cutthroats and cheaters.  ❞ ❝  i’ll always have a minute for you. maybe even two.  ❞ ❝  you walk on the edge of life and death. i can tell.  ❞ ❝  what is a gift but an award you did not earn?  ❞ ❝  so many voices to listen to, it must make your head hurt. i promise my voice will be soft and soothing.  ❞ ❝  i wish i could borrow some of your courage now.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always wondered. are all your kind hunters and fighters, or just a few?  ❞ ❝  no one doubts your determination. but you need to rest.  ❞ ❝  a bold claim. i wonder if you’ll live up to it.  ❞ ❝  why would someone name a knife?  ❞ ❝  so you’re alive ! we should celebrate! drinks on me!  ❞ ❝  try not to forget me, while you’re out there saving the world.  ❞ ❝  when we spoke earlier, you winced, then looked like you were in pain - or frightened.  ❞ ❝  i’m really not one for crowds.  ❞ ❝  so - how are we gonna do that? oh, wait, i forgot. we won’t. i do all the dangerous stuff.  ❞ ❝  i knew there was something about you. hammered from the stuff they make leaders out of.  ❞ ❝  no matter what happens, i will not intervene. do you understand? you are on your own.  ❞ ❝  it’s always a pain in the neck when you show up, girl, one way or another.  ❞ ❝  you’re bleeding, let me have a look. here, hold still.  ❞ ❝  just don’t think this means i enjoy it.  ❞ ❝  i don’t want to jinx it, but we might be in the clear.  ❞ ❝  when i start a fuss, i like to finish it.  ❞ ❝  i promise to look solemn at your funeral before i hit the bar.  ❞ ❝  what could go wrong? turns out, a lot.  ❞ ❝  let me come with you! i won’t be a bother. i know how to stay out of sight.  ❞ ❝  now i’m supposed to fill ____’s shoes. and instead, here i am, stumbling around in them.  ❞ ❝  we need to talk - alone. and you need to pull it together.  ❞ ❝  i guess growing up means putting what you should do in front of what you want to do, right?  ❞ ❝  oh, are you going to shut your mouth now? because that would be a surprise.  ❞ ❝  i will come to you in secret. no one will see me, so i won’t get in trouble.  ❞ ❝  it looks like something chewed you up and spat you out.  ❞ ❝  these are the true wilds, with threats unlike any you have ever faced.  ❞ ❝  that moment the door opened and you were standing there, and the way you smiled... i had to look away or you were going to see. on my face. what had just... blossomed inside me, you know?  ❞ ❝  i’m not afraid of you - i’m not afraid of anything.  ❞ ❝  stop being evasive? you might as well tell me to stop being charming. it’s impossible.  ❞ ❝  what a waste. at least he died better than he lived.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been looking up at the stars a lot, and the only story i see written across them is that we are small and insignificant and will soon disappear with hardly a trace left behind. it’s a hard story, and i don’t like it much..  ❞ ❝  if i’m going to stand for something, it’ll have to be something i believe in.  ❞ ❝  the strength to stand alone, is the strength to make a stand.  ❞ ❝  soon it’ll all seem familiar. like home.  ❞ ❝  now i see that i was just lucky to get a minute of your time.  ❞ ❝  i know my duty to them - and to you. i’m here. and wherever you go...i will follow.  ❞ ❝  you're really good at making it impossible to like you.  ❞ ❝  i’ve missed our little talks.  ❞ ❝  will change happen at all, while men live in palaces?  ❞ ❝  confidence is quiet. you’re not.  ❞ ❝  you’re not a very convincing liar.  ❞ ❝  i already have all the friends i need. i don’t need the bother.  ❞ ❝  all right, cool your fire. i got nothing to hide.  ❞ ❝  i see you don’t recognize me. well, it was a long time ago.  ❞ ❝  you will turn back - or bleed. your choice.  ❞ ❝  when we met, i thought i was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere.  ❞ ❝  you would speak ill of the dead? truly you have no shame.  ❞ ❝  truth is, i get lonely once in awhile. there. i admitted it. don’t think less of me.  ❞ ❝  do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?  ❞ ❝  but i don’t know anyone here.  ❞ ❝  come on, stop. you’re going to make me tear up.  ❞ ❝  i feel like i should drop to my knees and worship you.  ❞ ❝  think i’m done? think again. i’ve gotten out of worse scrapes.  ❞ ❝  it’s hard to imagine where we’d be without you - and i don’t want to try.  ❞ ❝  if we’re to fight together on the brink of life and death, i’d prefer to do so with your forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  trust is for fools. it shifts and crumbles like sand.  ❞ ❝  what will you do while i risk my life?  ❞ ❝  you can smile, can’t you? ...no, that’s a grimace.  ❞ ❝  you killed that demon...pulled its guts from the carcass!  ❞ ❝  the sooner you’re gone from here, the better.  ❞ ❝  for now, all you need to know is that i’m a whisper of reason in this howling pit of insanity.  ❞ ❝  i heard the rumors, but i didn’t know for sure until saw you just now. i’m glad to see you’re okay.  ❞ ❝  no barrier can now stay you from your sacred task.  ❞ ❝  i won’t deny i risked your life. but it was the only way.  ❞ ❝  they can’t shoot if they’re dead. keep them busy, i’ll find an angle.  ❞ ❝  comforts are weakness.  ❞ ❝  as for honor, sacrifice-- true sacrifice, the kind rulers know nothing of -- it’s all a fat joke.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been sharpening my blade, anticipating the scent of the fight.  ❞ ❝  you’re not just a traveler. that armor was fitted for you. and the way you hold your bow...  ❞ ❝  i’d expect to see some tomatoes fly, maybe rocks. hopefully not spears. in any case, be ready to duck.  ❞ ❝  i’m not here for the price on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a moment, i was a child again, rapt from stories told by hunters at the campfire.  ❞ ❝  this...attachment to me will only hold you back.  ❞ ❝  whatever you do, don’t let their shabby looks fool you! they’ll kill you as soon as look at you.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i love. and what could be wrong with that?  ❞ ❝  when the arrowhead passes between armor and skin - that’s the place i belong.  ❞ ❝  right. why would i expect an answer? it’s so much more exciting to keep it all a mystery...  ❞ ❝  oh, it’s a story all right, but it takes a while to tell. maybe another time, over a drink or three?  ❞ ❝  why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again?  ❞ ❝  i’ll wager you don’t scare easy - it’s a good quality.  ❞ ❝  there will be people celebrating, and feasting. more than you've ever see in one place.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t bring you here to answer questions. i brought you here to deal with that.  ❞ ❝  ...you’ve...put a lot of thought into this.  ❞ ❝  i do not want to hear this talk from you again. doubt is heavier than a week’s snow.  ❞ ❝  bandits are drawn to here like infection to a wound.  ❞ ❝  i guess you’re doing the right thing for the wrong reason.  ❞ ❝  i thought you and i were agreed: only enjoy the killing as much as the challenge.  ❞ ❝  rumors spread like blood.  ❞ ❝  they would steal from us, chase us through the night, laughing.  ❞ ❝  leave it too long, your fingers itch for the bowstring.  ❞ ❝  you’re strong, shrewd, capable... i could use someone like you on my side.  ❞ ❝  you defeated it? alone?  ❞ ❝  grasp your grief. and kill it.  ❞ ❝  at least i’ll have a fire to keep me company.  ❞ ❝  only survivors scar. after everything you’ve been through, you keep going.  ❞ ❝  just stop being evasive and tell me who you really are.  ❞ ❝  i don’t mind putting my worthless ass on the line. but not yours.  ❞ ❝  i’m not here to intrigue you.  ❞ ❝  how about you? who do you think i am? what will you remember of me? ❞ ❝  everything freezing. the ground, the air... me.  ❞ ❝  you lost someone you care about. that leaves a wound. the sort of wound a lot of people don’t recover from.  ❞ ❝  the only thing i know i’m still fighting for is...you.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t earn this mercy, but i will die to make myself worthy of it.  ❞ ❝  to say you have my gratitude feels woefully insufficient. you saved my life.  ❞ ❝  makes you wish you could kill them more than once, doesn’t it?  ❞ ❝  why did you act so strange when we spoke earlier?  ❞ ❝  being smart won’t count for nothing if you don’t make the world a better place.  ❞ ❝  to serve a purpose greater than yourself...that is the lesson you must learn.  ❞ ❝   if a big, meaningful talk is what you’re after, move along.  ❞ ❝  that carcass! what sort of beast was that?  ❞ ❝  what are you doing out here all alone? where are your men?  ❞ ❝  you’ve obviously heard of me. you know what i’m capable of. why do you think this will turn out well for you?  ❞ ❝  there’s so much to discover before the world ends.  ❞ ❝  i couldn’t wait to see you again. it’s like...i’m dead and only come alive when i’m here with you.  ❞ ❝  some even say you have a conscience. how extraordinary!  ❞ ❝  do you always accuse people you’ve just met of lying?  ❞ ❝  if you ever visit, look me up. i’ll show you around, make introductions. it’d be a whole new life, if you want it.  ❞ ❝  it had a name once, not that it matters now. i was born there.  ❞ ❝  i always knew you were different... i think you’re a blessing.  ❞ ❝  no one hears your prayers anyway.  ❞ ❝  this place is difficult even for the prepared.  ❞ ❝  i underestimated you. i won’t make that same mistake again.  ❞ ❝  oh. is that supposed to sound scary or something?  ❞ ❝  look, maybe i shouldn’t say this, but it’s obvious that you don’t belong in this... backwater.  ❞ ❝  were you kept hidden away? did you have overprotective parents or something?  ❞ ❝  hmph. don’t go soft on me.  ❞ ❝  i prefer the company of spirits. or my own.  ❞ ❝  blood spilled calls for blood spilled! if the ground is cursed, then let our vengeance sanctify it.  ❞ ❝  so many people here, all talking at once. how does anyone think?  ❞ ❝  why is it that every time something bad happens to you, someone else tells you something bad that happened to them, as if that makes it any better?  ❞ ❝  i’ve never seen armor like yours.  ❞ ❝  the wrongness here jags at me like an arrowhead.  ❞ ❝  when you found me, i was trying to eke out a glorious death. but now a glorious life seems more preferable.  ❞ ❝  tomorrow, may the sun rise on the world.  ❞ ❝  you saved my epitaph from being ‘a fine soldier but a fool of a man’.  ❞ ❝  i don’t think i know you at all. but i’d like to.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like this. it feels...wrong.  ❞ ❝  oh, i’m grateful for this wound. it’s a lesson i won’t forget.  ❞ ❝  you’re a clever one. but not so clever as to heed my warning, i see.  ❞ ❝  not everyone follows the law like you do.  ❞ ❝  how many times have i pulled you from danger by your neck? made excuses for your behavior?  ❞ ❝  for what it’s worth, i’m glad you’re coming with me.  ❞ ❝  what have i ever given you but struggle?  ❞ ❝  it’s starting to feel real, you know? that we might actually get out of this place.  ❞ ❝  i’ve never been part of anything. i serve my own interests. always.  ❞ ❝  i apologize for my...behavior. i thought i was dead.  ❞ ❝  look, i don’t even know your story. must be a good one. if you ever feel like telling it, look me up.  ❞ ❝  when my anger has thawed, i will feel nothing.  ❞ ❝  i can’t remember when i had this much fun! i should be thanking you!  ❞ ❝  you gave him a quicker death than he deserved.  ❞ ❝  that...could be the last creepy thing you’ve said to me.  ❞ ❝  something’s really bothering you. if you think i’m gonna abandon you, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  surprised you saw me, the way you keep looking every other direction to make sure no one’s watching. careful there, or you’ll sprain your neck.  ❞ ❝  remember how the blood pounded in your ears? they’ll ring later, in the calm. it’s a call to arms, from your inner desires.  ❞ ❝  ___’s dead. i was ready to go through anything to make that happen. and i did.  ❞ ❝  is there a reason why you’re acting so cranky today?  ❞ ❝  you hold your grief close, like a tailsman.  ❞ ❝  i hope you can find peace.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know who i am, do you?  ❞ ❝  you know there’s always been dirt on my hands. now there’s blood too.  ❞ ❝  i want to be strong like you. but...  ❞ ❝  i hadn’t given up on hope, but i’ve forgotten the taste of it.  ❞ ❝  just...don’t start singing again.  ❞ ❝  you’re sparing me? after all i’ve done?  ❞ ❝  i don’t intend to die today.  ❞ ❝  it will take many good deeds to make up for the crimes you’ve committed.  ❞ ❝  but why should you have justice, and not me?  ❞ ❝  such a voice... a cold, awful jangle that scrapes your bones and hollows your guts.  ❞ ❝  one more word, and i’ll throw you in jail myself.  ❞ ❝  only in the struggle against death do we find, even for a moment, the spark of life.  ❞ ❝  the war changed you. changed us both. we’re not kids anymore.  ❞ ❝  i can’t sleep, i can’t breathe knowing you could be out there...hurting...  ❞ ❝  now i’m left to wear my sins. for me, at least, they hang heavy.  ❞       ❝  but what does a girl like you know of loss?  ❞ ❝  it’s a good thing you’ve got brains. because your personality could use some work.  ❞ ❝  i was going to ask you to leave with me...to go somewhere out in the sun where no shadow could reach us.  ❞ ❝  they didn’t need to disgrace my name. i did it myself, serving a rotten throne. ❞ ❝  you don’t approve? well, i have a secret for you. neither do i.  ❞ ❝  perhaps you are not an evil man. just a weak one.  ❞ ❝  losses can feel... overwhelming. but they remind us of our connections to others.  ❞ ❝  i don’t exactly see anyone beating down the door to spend time with you.  ❞ ❝  if i had known, i would never have spoken to you.  ❞ ❝  forge a new life. one of better make.  ❞ ❝  impossible odds, fine company, killing without consequence --- how could i resist?  ❞ ❝  look at me. i can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but you don’t have to go through it alone.  ❞ ❝  i wish i had known, all this time, what you were going through.  ❞ ❝  i’m with you. until the end.  ❞ ❝  i thought you just wanted to have tea and conversation! is there a battle coming? i wasn’t informed!  ❞ ❝  we’ve only met a few times, and yet you know me so well.  ❞ ❝  are you going to drive me off, too? it’s okay. i’ve dealt with worse.  ❞ ❝  now i know the kind of person i want to be, watching you.  ❞ ❝  it’s so...bittersweet. like a smile through bloodied teeth.  ❞ ❝  i swear i saw my ancestors... they said: ‘we’re not surprised to see you here’.  ❞ ❝  more mercenaries? what kind of person sells their loyalty?  ❞ ❝  keep moving or you’ll die!  ❞ ❝  this is the kind of place you’d take someone if you want to lose them forever.  ❞ ❝  if that’s destiny, i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  ❞ ❝  i’ve thought about what you said. every time, the wound you gave me caught on my ribs.  ❞ ❝  i’ve never seen such disregard for personal safety.  ❞ ❝  the most important thing is what you’re not like - your father.  ❞ ❝  i’m never lonely where there’s killing to be done.  ❞ ❝  my past - and my secrets - are my own. you’ll do well to remember that.  ❞ ❝  only to you do i extend the courtesy of a warning.  ❞ ❝  if the war’s not over, i’m not done.  ❞ ❝  a long kiss, the best kind... i can still remember the feel of your hand on the back of my neck.  ❞ ❝  it would be a worse fate to bow our heads to the challenge and say, ‘too much’.  ❞ ❝  let’s not say farewell. i’ve had enough of that to last me a dozen winters.  ❞ ❝  have your wounds even had time to heal?  ❞ ❝  you can stop worrying. the secret’s safe with me.  ❞ ❝  just to be clear, i have no plans to murder you, alright?  ❞ ❝  you’re an idiot. a dangerous idiot, but an idiot.  ❞ ❝  i’m kicking myself for not seeing your potential from the beginning.  ❞ ❝  for your sake, you must go where you will never find me. this is goodbye.   ❞ ❝  so that’s what this is? a tantrum? a cry for attention?  ❞ ❝  change won’t come in a single sunrise.  ❞ ❝  this place may not seem like much, but we’ll make the best of it.  ❞ ❝  no murderers here, if that’s what you’re asking.  ❞