#the other person... i care about them a lot and worry im hurting them by talking about it. and it keeps flaring up so much

[vogelmeister]

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

[skyllion-uwu]

[transmascissues]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

[moonsaver]

Okay, honestly, I'm still reeling from the entire penacony quest, but here's my take on Sunday so far;

He's manipulative, obviously.

But like.. the type that's kind of hesitant from time to time because he's still sincere to a degree. At least, when it comes to his loved ones.

So, I guess that hesitance decreases a lot if you're just some nobody. Even then, Sunday does want the better for everyone, too. It just means that others may bear the brunt of it for the most part before being able to get ahold of it.

Also, at the very least, even if some people suffer, at the end Sunday believes they will reach where they want to, after. In that case, however, Sunday suffers far more than them, without actually ever reaching his own destination or idea of paradise.

However, this view is a bit distorted. Sunday believes to be "sacrificing" himself, shouldering loneliness and burdens in order to uphold everyone else's "paradise". But to the others, he's simply a tyrant overruling everyone's will with his own idea of Order.

Sunday deeply cares. He cares too much. That's kind of the problem.

A bit of self-destructing tendencies when pushed too far, I guess.

Lets ignore logic established by the quest for a second (because i literally am still reeling from it)

Imagine Sunday first discovers this possibility. He's terrified of it, but at the same time, he truly thinks this is humanity's salvage – for everyone who has deeply suffered. He thinks of you.

You who have had your fair share of pain, who confides in him late at night in the quiet of your privacy, hushed voices like silenced by a thick blanket through the wall.

You deserve to live a sweeter life. He thinks. No. You deserve more. He knows.

The first person he ever wants to step into this paradise – you.

Now, although Sunday was defeated in the end, we all know that unfortunately, our ragtag team had to wake up again because defeating him first was a dream. This means at some point, Sunday did succeed.

And after everyone wakes, you don't. You continue sleeping soundly. So does Sunday.

The rest of the world can return to their miserable, bitter lives outside of this dream; but Sunday will be damned if he's letting you go. Perhaps.. it's not a selfless wish, anymore. Perhaps at this point, Sunday desperately, selfishly, grips onto you with the latches of a sweet, deep dream. One where he was fatally destined to never reach, only to control from the waking world. Now that everyone else has woken, he wants to return to the dream. He wants to return to you, who he has so lovingly entrenched deep into it.

Also, Robin. Im in SO much pain... PLEASW..

Do you guys think.. even if Robin was vehemently resistant against Sunday's ideas..

Even though Sunday knew she wouldn't stand for it..

Do you guys think.. he wanted her to also join him at the end and enjoy the "Paradise" he created aswell?

Do you think he would have wanted Robin to stop worrying about everything, to take rest, to finally come home, and sing to her heart's content inside the dream? The dream where they set the bird free? The dream where Sunday still has a sweet tooth? The dream where she never has to wear elaborate neck-pieces? The dream where neither of them was hurt? Where neither of them left each other?

Oh...ogh. . My heart.

Sunday would be such a scary lover, too.

I mean even normally, I don't think a relationship with him would be that healthy

Particularly because it seems so healthy

If reader was in a relationship with normal sunday, I mean.. it's gonna at least appear healthy and normal, even to them. It's probably just Sunday having to constantly burden himself with all the dirty strings he has to pull, the quiet rush of water when he washes his hands before caressing the side of your face, the tight, closed smile he would give if you ever asked him what was wrong.. he can't let you know.

I think he'll take a yandere route in an established relationship if you do happen to find out what's been going on behind the scenes. He'll have to calm you down, and you promise you won't peep about it. The build up is almost invisible, because things seem to go back to the way they were. Before Sunday starts acting a bit.. restless. That would be when his yan! Tendencies would start kicking in, for a variety of reasons.

I feel like y'know, out of all the hsr cast, he's one of the characters who is genuinely very close to becoming a yandere canonically. Control freak? Check. Twisted ideals? Check. Unchecked power? Check. Hypnotization/manipulation? Check.

Also, the slight difference of his color pallete as opposed to Robin's.

His is much more washes out than Robin's. It's more "duller" but also more professional, and the gold of his halo is more colder than the warmer tone of Robin's halo. They both still have white/grey as a major color in their palletes, but Sunday's is accompanied by deep navy blues, or washed out blues. Robin's is very vibrant and purple. The only blue segment of her pallete is her hair, and it's remarkably more vibrant than Sunday's.

Also.. Sunday's whole ideas on "weak" and "strong"

Of course, it wasn't all correct, but that doesn't mean they didn't hold some semblance of sense.

Regardless, this playing with yan! Tendencies..... HOOOOO boy

So many thoughts. Sunday manipulating his partner is quite possibly the most common theme in them.

[invidiia]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "you're obsessed.." 𖤐 various bsd yanderes // reader.

bsd yanderes ada, pm, doa, hd + the jealousy scale.

[ a/n; hi i was bored and gotta feed the people bc my next big post is takin a bit 🏃‍♂️]

[ warning; jealous yanderes lolol ]

atsushi is a 6 of 10. definitely hides any jealous thoughts, at least until you're both home, but is absolutely bitter about it after

dazai is a fair 7 of 10. i don't have a lot to say about him, but he most definitely gets jealous easily

kunikida is a 5 of 10. when he's with you and you get hit spoken to by someone else, he just takes control of the situation and leaves with you. obviously against your choices, but he doesn't trust you.

ranpo is a 6 of 10. doesn't get too worried about other guys because he knows you wouldn't go for anyone else other than the greatest detective ever, but when another guy flirts with you, he just feels the need to.. step in.

yosano is a 7 of 10. she doesn't mind when others speak to you, as long as they aren't flirting with you, and that's a loose term with her. asking for directions in a large mall could get someone's fingers chopped off if she was in a particularly annoyed mood.

fukuzawa is a 4 of 10. he doesn't care if people talk to you either, but flirting is off the table with him. even so, he'll just leave the area and take you with him, he can't just let some other guy talk to you, are you crazy?

akutagawa is a 8 of 10. if someone's making small talk or something he doesn't care, but even speaking to you or looking at you for too long is just like asking for him to beat them senselessly.

chuuya is a 8 of 10. like akutagawa, small talk doesn't matter to him. you're socializing, who cares? but he's absolutely jealous of your friends, especially your close ones. strangers, he can beat the shit out of those, but your friends? he can't do anything there, so he just sits in silence.

higuchi is an 9 of 10. she hates when anyone else talks to you, she just can't stand it. she'll openly tell you how much she hates it when other people beside her 'flirt' with you, and makes you promise not to hurt her like that again.

gin is a 3 of 10. she does get jealous of other people like your closer friends, but doesn't act on anything, just sits in silence. maybe she'll express to you she was jealous, but she won't hurt anyone unless they make advances on you

tachihara is a 6 of 10. he does get jealous of your friends, but doesn't hate them. he just wants to be in their place. who says you should spend all your time with them? leave some room for him, won't you?

sigma is a 7 of 10. he won't make direct moves if he's jealous, he'll only tell you he's jealous afterward, or work behind scenes to get rid of the certain person he thinks talks to you a little too much for his liking.

fyodor is a 9 of 10. he doesn't think you'll talk to anyone else, it's about others talking to you. he just can't have you talking to anyone but him. why would you need to anyway?

nikolai is a 8 of 10. i don't have a whole lot to say about him either, but he's not afraid to be... himself,, if someone talks to you a little too much.

jouno is a 9 of 10. he knows you won't actually speak to other guys.. but still. he isn't chill when other guys talk to you, and gets worse when they eye you the wrong way,

tecchou is a 4 of 10. this man sees no reason to be jealous of your friends, or anyone who says they don't want you. why would they lie to him anyway? look at him, he's strong as hell. would you lie to him? didn't think so

[ a/n; sobs im so tired can you telllll ?? i only wrote doa trio bc.. fukuchi is strange, bram is just.. bram, plus i kinda only see him as platonic yandere loll, didnt do teruko cuz idk her actual age.. sorry this is so rushed lol its 2am i gotta go to beddd, but next post is dazai fr!!!!! ]

[kazoohaa]

Hello hello hellooo I saw hsr and APPEARED I must ask for Kafka with a stoic s/o like everyone in danger s/o is hurt and their just like “ow oh no😐”

𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐃. honkai star rail

— notes. these two requests had the same kind of theme so i merged it into one post 👍

— details. kafka, dan heng, jing yuan, blade x gn!reader (separate). fluff. tw: descriptions of injuries. all of them might be ooc im sorry sjhdhksjkd

kafka

she honestly takes this as grounds to tease you and attempt to find what makes you tick — she finds it as a fun challenge to see what would be able to make your expression shift.

having an unreadable demeanour is an advantage in her profession, as well as having the ability to maintain a calm exterior no matter what the situation. so really, kafka mostly doesn’t have any qualms about your behaviour, especially since it also gives her a bit of entertainment from time to time

well, she doesn’t have any qualms about it until you rock up with a concerning injury, but seem to be regarding it with nothing but utter nonchalance.

her light plum eyes narrow slightly, examining the long cut down your arm with a hint of scrutiny within her gaze. kafka ‘tsk’s, glancing up to meet your eyes for a moment; a silent question wondering about how you’re so calm about this.

despite how her hands are quick to reach out and grasp your arm, her hold on you is gentle.

she pulls you closer, saying something about how you shouldn’t take your injuries so lightly. kafka whisks you away to a more secluded place and has you sit down while she takes on the role of your temporary personal medic.

“you should take more care of your own wellbeing, alright? sit still and let me treat your wounds.” her words are spoken with something like a drawl, tilting her head as she speaks, but she pats your head and gets to work with helping you afterwards.

dan heng

well, then you wouldn’t be the only one on the astral express who exhibits calm behaviour all the time — but admittedly, you’re more proficient at keeping it up than dan heng is.

he tells himself that it’s one less thing to worry about, since your other companions are already quite the group to take care of. march is always running off to take photos or poke in others’ business, and the trailblazer’s probably digging through trash cans for... who knows what, honestly.

you’re reliable and composed, and he appreciates this aspect of you. it’d certainly come in handy in many situations, and so again, he tells himself that he doesn’t have to worry about you...

but he is still very much worried.

especially upon spotting the thin but long cut on the side of your torso.

his eyebrows furrow — this is one of the few situations where you actually manage to catch a glimpse of him showing pure unconcealed concern.

dan heng sighed, inquiring about how you even got that and if it hurts a lot. regardless of your response to the either question, he’s already on helping clean and patch up the injury. “battles are inevitable along our journey, but you should be more on-guard next time.” he said, checking his handiwork and making sure that the bandages were secure.

jing yuan

it’s part of what makes you very interesting to him, actually — seeing how most things never really crack your solid exterior.

people don’t usually come across someone like you every day. even for xianzhou natives, who naturally have much longer lifespans than others, don’t often meet someone with your level of calm. even jing yuan himself couldn’t say that he’s met many individuals who share your traits, even with his experience.

it’s good to be levelheaded in a fight, whether it be physical or verbal. jing yuan quietly appreciates your ability to keep a clear mind and keep your sights set on the goal. it’s a good skill for people to have on the battlefield.

it’s simultaneously fascinating and concerning to see how you still don’t bat an eye even when you’re injured. for a brief moment, jing yuan ponders over whether he should accompany you the next time you are headed out into the places on the luofu which are more packed with mara-struck soldiers.

he knows that you’re a capable fighter on your own, but how could you expect him not to worry on your behalf when you’ve ended up injuring yourself like this?

however, tending to your wounds takes precedence over those other matters, so he pushes that aside and helps you out first.

the general certainly isn’t a medical professional, but he at least knows how to dress a wound. with many years of experience on the battlefield under his belt, this comes naturally to him. after cleaning the gash, he carefully wraps the bandages around the injured area, asking you if it’s too tight and then asking again to double-check, since he finds that attempting to get a read on your expression didn’t really work too much.

jing yuan sighs, reminding you that you should be more careful next time. would you need your injuries checked by lady bailu after this? he’ll accompany you on the way there.

blade

wow you guys are twinning!!! 🤝

/j

but, unlike him, you don’t possess that same self-healing ability that he has, so while it may be ironic of him to do so, he’s silently questioning your pain management abilities.

blade doesn’t usually spare anyone a second look, but if you keep a careful eye out, you might catch him taking a surreptitious glance at you, silently giving your wounds a once-over. it’s curious how you manage to stay that calm even when you’re injured like that.

the sight of you getting hurt in some shape or form was a bit of a common occurrence, but no matter the severity of the injuries, you still maintained that unbothered demeanour.

huh. with that sort of behaviour you display, you’d expect someone like that to manage to not get into this many scuffles, but here you were.

clearly, out of the other stellaron hunters, you seemed more injury-prone. maybe it was something that balanced out your stoic countenance. blade has half the mind to simply drag you back to a safer area himself just to get you away from danger.

he mutters some form of curse or complaint under his breath as he sits you down onto the ground then crouches in front of you, lifting your left calf to inspect the injury. “how do you always manage to do this?” he muttered, earning no response.

that fragmentum creature had swiped at your calf and also left a small burn. blade raised an unimpressed eyebrow, seeing your still unchanged expression.

he may be uttering some complaints and saying that he shouldn’t have to look after you like some babysitter, but he in no way would tend to your injury sloppily. in contrast to his remarks, he handles your wound carefully. before you knew it, it’s been skilfully cleaned and bandaged up. “rest it.” he tells you. he’s not completely sure if you’d follow that, though, so with a scoff, blade adds that he’ll make sure of it himself.

[lighteez]

Comforting Sanji

Hello, hello! This one shot is based after the straw hats saved sanji. (it was ep 796 i believe where sanji's sis cuffed his hands) It'll be based on him finally getting his shackles away and it left a terrible scar on his wrists, so once the crew left whole cake island, you got worried over sanji and decided to take care of him after finding out about his past. You comfort him, cook for him, and tend to his wounds while cursing his entire family and the big mom family. (im on ep810 and i just saw the sanji x luffy fight, i was crying an ocean omg, i cant… it broke me seeing luffy and sanji cry) (p.s. IT HAS SPOILERS!! AND READER IS FEMALE!!!)

“SANJI!” You screamed when you saw the crew members return back with Sanji. When he saw you, he looked at you differently, his smile was still warm, but his eyes screamed a different story. He was hurt, he was in pain.

You gripped the railing of the ship angrily, jumping out of the ship and ran towards him and the crew. Hugging them all, you told them that you took care of the ship well and made sure nothing happened to the Thousand Sunny.

Luffy laughed and nodded, “Thanks for ya help, now let's go back and have a feast! This time with our cook’s dishes!” He screamed like always, running back to the ship with Chopper. They were both happy to get their crew mate and friend back on board, the most exciting part? Sanji's delicious food! You on the other hand felt worried that he might be mentally tired, so being the caring person that you are towards your crew members, you tapped Sanji on his shoulder. 

He turned his attention towards you and stopped walking, a curious expression on his face. “What is it? Is something wrong?” He smiled brightly. Taking in a deep breath, you relaxed yourself and spoke up.

“I’m glad you’re back, Sanji. Are you feeling okay now?” You asked, looking into his eyes to make sure he wasn’t lying to you. Seeing him take a deep breath as well, he relaxed his shoulders, or at least tried to relax. He simply nodded, faking another smile. “I know you’re lying to me… You’re mentally exhausted, am I right?” I asked, looking over to the ship as I saw the crew happily waving at us to hurry back so we can leave this weird island. 

Sanji’s smile fell and he looked down at the ground with no facial expression playing on his face. All those horrible memories of the vinsmoke family came back to him, and he knew it was going to take more time to forget them again. “We really can’t lie to ya, huh? You see right through us.” He whispered, taking out his packet of cigarettes only to see that he was done with them. A thought came to mind, that he must’ve chain smoked a lot while being trapped with them. 

“Sanji… I’m sorry all this happened to you. Let’s go back on the ship, I apologize I wasn’t much help.” I frowned, looking at the floor as well. This entire crew are always in their own world, having fun with another, but when their past or traumas come back, they are actually exhausted and worn out. You hadn’t noticed that these wonderful people suffered so much before they all met. It somehow felt like it should be your job to help these people who took you in when you had nowhere to go. 

“It wasn’t your fault, and you always help us.” He smiled and ruffled your hair. You sighed in defeat, even though they say these things, you still feel useless, so you try your best to help around in the ship. Sometimes you would even train with Zoro and try to learn some fighting techniques. “Come on, let’s get out of here now. I don’t like Whole Cake Island.” He physically shivered and walked towards the ship with you following him.

Once on the ship, you all finally set sail to meet up with the other crew members who stayed on Zou Island. The crew was back to being cheerful, loud, funny and completely normal as if nothing ever happened these last couple of days. You ended up hearing all the news from Carrot about Sanji being a Vinsmoke, almost marrying that daughter from Big Mom, and his past. The more she talked about what happened, you became worried and angry. Nami chimed in on the conversation and said that Luffy and Sanji had a big fight.

Looking over to Sanji and Luffy, they seemed perfectly fine dancing and laughing with the others, as if nothing ever happened between them. Letting out a small smile towards Nami you told her to stop bringing up the past, it would only stay in her mind if she keeps remembering and repeating everything that happened. Nami agreed and just began to drink all the booze to lighten up. Carrot followed Luffy and ate all that she could.

Hours went by in a flash and you excused yourself to freshen up. The only ones still up was Brook and Pedro playing songs while Carrot danced with Chopper. Luffy and Nami were knocked out asleep, and of course Luffy was still eating Sanji’s dishes while sleeping. Everything felt good, and right in its place, however; Sanji was stuck in the Kitchen, cooking and cooking away. You already knew that sometimes he cooks whenever his mind is full of thoughts, and considering all that went down, you were sure he was recalling back old memories. 

Instead of going to the bathroom, you headed towards the stairs and walked to the kitchen. Peeping into the window you saw him there cooking multiple different dishes and keeping himself occupied. “Sanji, do you need help? Please rest up, I’ll take care of the cooking.” You came inside and walked up to him, but he didn’t seem to hear you at all as he had a painful expression on his face. Immediately, you turned the stove off and grabbed his hands, pulling him to sit down on the stool.

“Sanji, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” You put the back of your hand on his forehead, but he wasn’t running a fever. Sanji snapped out of it and his expression melted. Looking up at you, he had those same eyes from when you saw him coming back to the ship. 

“I’m fine, I was just thinking about things like always. Don’t worry, okay?” He said, taking a deep breath, but you knew he was broken. As you looked down at his wrists you saw scars of some handcuffs and you let out a loud gasp quickly grabbing his hands to scan the injury. 

“How can I not worry?! Your wrists are hurt! Let me go get Cho-” Before you could turn around to get Chopper, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back.

“Don’t… I’m fine, really. These will go away at some point.” He said, referring to the scars.

“Sanji, these will leave a horrible scar. Please, at least let me treat them.” Sanji looked up at you and locked his gaze on you before agreeing with you. “Okay, I’ll go get the first aid kit. Wait here and don’t you dare move a finger.” You warned him before jogging towards the infirmary room to get the first aid kit. Chopper taught you the basics of tending a wound so you knew how to handle this situation. 

Once you gathered the things, you headed back into the kitchen. Sanji was staring at his wrists that were resting on his lap. He looked tired and worn out, how could you comfort him? What can make him feel better and forget all those horrible memories? You want to help him forget and comfort him. Sanji seems so fragile right now, and you wanted to care for him right now, even if it’s just for a night. 

“I’m back, put your wrist on the counter there.” You laid the first aid kit on the counter nearby his extended wrist. Taking out things one by one, you suddenly blurted out, “The Vinsmokes are all assholes. They don’t deserve you at all. May they all get a slow painful death and regret everything!” Anger was building up inside of you as you could only imagine all the shit he has been through since he was a child. 

Surprisingly, Sanji let out a laugh which surprised you. After cleaning his wound he was just looking at you with a smile again, “Thanks for this. I’ll be fine, I swear.” He whispered, but that didn’t calm your anger down one bit as you started wrapping the bandages around his left wrist first.

“I know you’ll be fine, Sanji, but I can’t help it. If I was there with you, I would’ve killed them with my bare hands, they don’t deserve to live at all. Fuck them all and I will pray for their down fall everyday.” Your words flew out of your mouth, saying the most horrendous things about the Vinsmokes. If only he could read your mind, he would hear all the ways you would be torturing them right this moment. Sometimes, horrible people who don’t redeem themselves at all deserve the worst kind of death. 

His right hand grabbed your wrist and gave it a squeeze, “Hey, a lady shouldn't stress her pretty mind out over the past.” He chuckled, as you looked at him, softening your gaze when you guys met each other's gazes. “And you’re kind of squeezing my wrist there.” A small wince came out his lip as you gasped and stopped gripping his injured wrist. 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize I was hurting you!” Without thinking you grabbed his left hand with caution rubbing his arm gently. “You’re okay, right?” You looked at him with gentleness as he stared at you, clearly surprised that you’re being so careful with him. It was the first time he’s seen you this caring towards him, as if he would break with a gentle touch.

He snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, “Yeah. I’m fine, don’t worry.” He looked back at the stove where the food he was cooking probably got cold now. “I should get back to cooking, I’m sure they’re all waiting for my food now.” He chuckled, getting up from the stool, but you pushed him back down to sit down.

“You’re not going to cook with injured wrists, and plus you need to rest, everyone has to rest.” You sighed, frustrated at him because he didn’t want to rest up and listen to you. “Once I’m done bandaging your right wrist, I’m going to get everyone to sleep. I’ll stay awake to make sure there’s nothing over the horizon, and tomorrow morning I’ll cook breakfast, okay?” You went over your list to him as you grabbed his other hand and cleaned his wound, applying ointment as Sanji said nothing. 

The silence dragged on between you two as you cleaned up his wound. You broke the silence first to say this, “Nami told me what happened with Luffy and you. I didn’t expect that to happen honestly.” A small groan escaped his lips as you took your hands away from his wrist, “I’m sorry! Did I hurt you again?” You asked him as he shakes his head in response. 

“No, you didn’t. I just-” He stopped mid sentence and sighed deeply, “I feel so horrible for doing that to Luffy. I know he forgives me for what I’ve done, but- I should’ve been stronger. Instead I hurt my captain after he took me in as part of his crew. I’m such a horrible fucking-” You quickly covered his mouth with your hand, being worried about him. You didn’t want him to finish that sentence at all.

“Don’t say that, Sanji. You’re not a bad crew mate. I know that you had your reasons, okay? We all know that you would never intentionally hurt Luffy.” You finished talking before removing your hand away from his mouth as he looked at you again, but this time he showed you a sad face. He really does regret what he did. 

“I-I know, but Nami slapped me. She actually thought I would turn my back to them. I feel so bad, I want to take back everything I did and said. I just feel so-” His voice choked up, looking away from you as he bit his lip. Sanji was crying. “So guilty and weak.” His last words hit you like a train, you haven’t seen him cry before and your heart swelled with pain. You don’t like seeing him so hurt or cry.

Again, without thinking, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. A tear rolled down your eye, crying with him. The pain and guilt he must be going through right now made you want to protect him and the rest of the crew from any kind of harm. You stroked his messy hair, calming him down as he clinged to your shirt like a little kid who had gotten a small paper cut. “There, there… Don’t cry, Sanji dear. I’m here. You’re not a horrible person, okay?” You whispered as your chin rested on top of his head as he hugged you tighter, crying into your shirt.

“I’m sorry for causing everyone harm. I was- I was trapped with that old man and those so-called brothers. They threatened me so many times by saying they will kill people who are important to me and blow my hands away. I felt horrible that I said those words to Luffy and Nami. I didn’t mean them at all, I swear. I almost made a mistake by marrying someone for political reasons and not because I truly loved them.” He cried out loudly, his tears running down his face and staining your shirt. 

Your heart broke into millions of pieces as you held him tighter, probably squeezing the air out of him. You planted kisses on top of his head, reassuring him that he will be safe now, and nothing bad will happen to him ever again. Tears fell down your eyes as well, feeling sympathy towards him as you tried your best to understand how he felt right now in the moment. “It’s okay, Sanji. You had very good reasons, that only proves that you were thinking about us before thinking of yourself. You’re a great guy, I’m sure you’ll find the love of your life out there, so please forget about that. You’re safe now, with us, with your friends.”

In the process of comforting him, your anger rose inside of you, wishing hell upon everyone who harmed Sanji and your crew. Your breathing picked up as you grabbed his cheeks and pulled his head up to make him look at you, your thumbs clearing his tears. “Sanji, dear. I’ll make sure to protect you and the crew. I will do anything in my power to kill all those assholes who made you all feel pain. I swear on my life.” His eyes widened as he tried to not cry again.

“Don’t swear on your life. Everything passed now, we’re all okay now. I’ll be okay.” He leaned into your touch on his cheeks as he held you closer to him. “After a few naps, I will forget all that happened to us. It won’t haunt us again.” Sanji whispered, closing his eyes as he enjoyed your hands on his cheeks, they were warm and tender. You sighed, your gaze falling softly as you saw him enjoying your comfort. 

“Okay, but still. I won’t let this go. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you all safe.” You whispered softly, a small smile creeping up your lips as you stared at him warmly. “Let’s get your wrist wrapped up and you can go to sleep, okay? I’ll clean up the mess and get everyone to sleep in their rooms.” He opened his eyes and looked at you, his eyes were glistening and red from crying so much. You wouldn’t trade this moment between you two for nothing, you knew right there and then that it’ll be your official job to make sure they’re all mentally and physically okay. 

Sanji gulped and looked away from you, “You’re being too kind to me. I should be a man here and help you out.” He chuckled softly as you followed his lead. 

“No, just for right now… Just for tonight, let me take care of you, is that fine?” You asked him as he looked back at you, his stare sent your heart racing. He looked at you so gratefully and tenderly as your heart melted with warmth. 

He didn’t respond at all, he just kept staring at your eyes with a smile. The warmth from his gaze sent your stomach doing flips, you liked this side of him. “Sanij… I should really bandage your wrist now.” Clearing your throat, you went back to his wrist, placing it on the counter as you grabbed the bandages and began wrapping his wrists gently. 

Once you were done, you put the things back into the first aid box, closing it when suddenly Sanji pulled you into a back hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, “I’m sorry, but please let me hug you… You’re an angel, y’know that, right?” He whispered against your neck, his arms tightening around your waist, sending a shiver down your spine. A small blush crept up your cheeks as he held you so close.

“I’m not an angel, Sanji. I don’t mind your hugs.” You whispered back, looking down at the counter as he breathed gently against your neck. The atmosphere around you two seemed warm and sweet, you wanted to hug him, but you knew yourself, you would start pampering him and treating him like a lover would. 

The biggest secret you ever kept from the crew is that you started falling in love with Sanji, you didn’t know when, but all you remember is that Sanji showed you his real self. Not his weird perverted self, but the most intimate parts of his life. His eyes shine whenever he talks about the all blue, or whenever you help him out in the kitchen, he gets so excited to teach you new recipes. His interests are rather adorable and you find yourself wanting to learn more about him over time.

“Sanji… Go rest up. You need it.” A small whisper left your lips as he groaned in protest. 

“I’m sorry… I can’t help myself after you comforted me this way.” He whispered as well. “I remembered something, the girl I was going to marry… she sympathized with me like this, but she wasn’t like you. You’re assertive and more- demanding. I just- I apologize if I’m comparing you two” Sanji let out a small grunt, probably regretting what he said.

Something in you felt angry again and almost snapped at him, “Don’t… Just- Stay like this, don’t think about anything or that girl who caused you harm as well. She’s Big Mom’s daughter, I will hate her too for life.” The last sentence left your lips as you shut your mouth and slapped a hand over your lips, realizing what you just said. 

You heard Sanji laugh against your neck, squeezing you softly. “Alright, I get it.” He responded, “You’re gonna fight her too, huh? Two beautiful women fighting over me? That sounds nice.” You became angry again and twisted your body to look straight at him, grabbing his tie and pulling him down towards you.

“Don’t talk about that bitch, I hate her. Understand?” His face was shocked when you did that suddenly. “I’m just protecting my crew mate from harm.” A low grumble left your mouth as he stared at you with wide eyes.

Sanji visibly gulped nervously as he nodded, biting his lip as you pulled him closer to you, “Sanji… I really do care about you and want to keep you safe from here on out. Can I do that?” You asked him, your gaze traveling down to look at his lips as he started blushing. Your head was wrapped around him, but you didn’t want to tell him that you had feelings for him at all.

“S-Sure… I don’t- I don’t mind.” He mumbled, his hands went back to your waist, holding you closer again. The air around you both became stronger and thicker with anticipation. Silence came over you again as your gazes kept wandering around in each other's faces. Your grip tightened around his tie, not wanting to let him go anytime soon. “We… We should clean up.” He said softly, licking his lips.

You didn’t respond at all, not wanting to break this moment between the two of you. All these thoughts that ran through your mind made you wonder what would happen if you really did kiss him right here and then. Would he return the kiss back to you or not? Will he regret it? Does he only think of you as a friend and crew mate only? Is it too soon? You hadn’t moved from the spot at all and neither had him. 

The urge to kiss him was too strong, the urge in general to just confess your feelings to him was unbearable in this moment. “Sanji, go rest up… Uhm- I’ll go now.” You told him, letting him go easily and grabbed the first aid kit, going back to the infirmary to put it away, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you into him again. 

“I don’t know if I’m going crazy or not, but… May I kiss you? If you let me of course.” He was holding you so close to him, his breath fanning near your face as you tried your best to resist kissing him without saying anything. He’s too good to be true. A simple nod came out of you as he sighed, “I need to hear your words, not just a nod. Please.” He begged you, gripping your waist with one hand as the right one came up to caress your cheek, his fingers sliding into your hair as he looked at you with- adoration?

“Yes, please… Just kiss me, Sanji.” Without warning, you leaned in to kiss his lips, wanting to feel his lips on yours now. The second you pressed a kiss to his lips, he held you so close, grabbing the first aid kit and throwing it to the counter, bringing you closer to his body as he kissed you passionately. In that moment, nothing else mattered besides your lips on his, kissing him desperately and filling the kiss with so much love and adoration.

[deyisacherry]

wow

wooow, SO i just saw a post and

okay

have we been watching the same show?

dear lord, i think saying that moon replaced sun with solar it's completely exaggerated, and saying that he doesn't care about sun, and wouldn't care this much if sun died is just ABSURD

i wanna make it clear, i am NOT defending Moon's actions and words right now cause i'm mAD AF, but that's another topic

Moon doesn't care about Sun? He doesn't act to show that? REALLY?

cause all i've seen is moon worrying over and over and over again about his brother

HE CARES for him.

he cares SO MUCH that he even overthinked the things that he told to Earth in therapy, he was WORRIED for him, cause he FEARS he's going to lose him by the slightest thing

cause he almost lost him

when Sun used star power HE CARED.

he was dead worried about him, MAY I NEED TO REMIND HIS WORDS OF PURE PAIN TO EVEN THINK TO LOSE HIM LIKE THAT?

CAUSE THAT WENT HARD

when he was about to kill Eclipse, he SWORE to him that if Sun was dead when he came back, he would go and kill every single one of the evil Eclipses that exist in other dimensions (he's been having these violent thoughts to protect his family from the start and even if they won't fix anything it shows that he CARES)

He was worried about Sun when he saw the state he was in when he came back

HE WORRIED WHEN SUN WAS IN THE RUIN DIMENSION AND SNAPPED AT NOTHING (THE BLOODMOON HALLUCINATIONS) AND HE EVEN WENT TO HUG HIM T W I C E

THAT'S NOT CARING????

HE WAS WORRIED AND ANGRY AT RUIN WHEN HE KIDNAPPED HIM! EVEN WHEN HE FELT BETRAYED BY SUN LYING TO HIM ABOUT THE STAR POWER HE WENT FOR HIM

AND DEAR GOD, DIDN'T WE ALL HEAR THE WAY HE SCREAMED HIS LUNGS OUT WHEN ECLIPSE TOLD HIM THAT RUIN WAS WITH SUN????

and even then people come and say he doesn't care about Sun and wouldn't care this much if he dies? nuh uh, i'm not having any of that, im sorry, but NO

and about Lunar and Earth

i think people are forgetting he LITERALLY woke up NOT KNOWING LUNAR, the old Moon didn't get to know he died, and New Moon couldn't get attatched to him before he died cause he woke up AFTER that, AND they had the hope of Lunar being rebuilt

Earth? She didn't even die and Moon was ANGRY AS HELL when he found out what Bloodmoon did and HE ALSO WENT FOR REVENGE on them, HE ALSO got mad when he knew that Bloodmoon hurted Lunar

IF SUN DIES?

jesus

if he is like this with Solar's dead

if he is going insane

HE WOULD GET EVEN WORSE.

all i can think it's him breaking down once and for all, and A LOT OF OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS CAUSE YEAH

SUN IS THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE

HE IS THE FIRST PERSON HE GOT TO KNOW AND GET MEMORIES FROM WHEN HE WOKE UP, HE'S EVERYTHING TO HIM, HE'S HIS BROTHER!!!

moon would be

DEVASTASTED, MORE THAN HE IS NOW, IF SUN DIES

IF EARTH DIES, IF LUNAR DIES

HE HAS REPEATED OVER AND OVER THAT HE DOESN'T WANT ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBER DYING AND HE MEANS IT

HE. CARES.

and damn i'm sorry if i sound aggresive but i'm SO TIRED of people saying that Moon never cares

and i clearify again, I DO NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS FROM THESE DAYS, IT ANGERS ME, AND HE SAID TERRIBLE THINGS AND I HOPE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THAT HE GETS TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S DOING THIS WRONG, CAUSE I RATHER JUST BE SAD THAT SOLAR WON'T BE BACK THAN SEEING HIM DO SOMETHING IDIOTIC TO BRING HIM BACK AND THEN GETTING AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS

[fandoms--fluff]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a Damon x teenage reader but the reader sees Damon as a sorta father figure

Enough

Female teen Gilbert reader x Damon Salvatore

Warnings: bullying, ed, cutting, I think that's all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're sat on his bathroom floor, thinking. Just two weeks ago you got back from Denver. Being compelled to move there because of your big sister, Elena, is one of the worst things that's ever happened to you. You were miserable there. The empty feeling after being forced to leave Mystic Falls never went away for those long months your and Jeremy were there for.

Your anxiety went through the roof, not being familiar with the place. And having to make new friends and meet new people.

But the worst was the bullying.

The kids at the high school there were cruel. They took one look at you on your first day and by lunch there were horrible rumors about you going around. Which you obviously hadn't told Jeremy about, not wanting him to worry about you or bother him with something as stupid as that.

The boys would come up to you, pretending to be interested, but then burst out laughing with their friends who were behind them when you looked even mildly interested in them.

The girls were the worst yet. Especially the one friend group of nine. They would come up to you in the hallway, during classes, during lunch, and even after school. They'd harass you, talk about your dead parents that has somehow gotten out, pretend to feel pity towards you, basically anything to make you rethink your existence.

They even made fun of your weight for a straight week, and the body you once loved, became something you hate. You hadn't consumed anything but water and maybe an apple here and there, just so no one would question anything. It wasn't until Jeremy brought up how pale you looked and started watching you more carefully at meal times did you start to eat more consistently.

But only a bit. Not enough a fifteen year old girl should eat per day.

Damon had fed you some of his blood yesterday. You had gotten hurt from one of the last remaining hybrids. The hybrid tried to suck you dry, but Damon had showed up in time to get you out of there and healed the bite mark and bruises on you.

You looked down at your wrists where there were cuts just a second ago before they healed, a razor laying on the ground in front of you. The blade littered with your blood and a couple drops on the floor underneath. 

The blood must've been still on your system.

Again you picked the razor up and slid it across your wrist and fore arm causing a deep scratch releasing some blood. You kept on repeating this action before switching to the other wrist. 

You had started cutting your wrists when you had gotten back, not knowing what to feel, and what to think is true or not. Always gave those girls and kids voices in your head. And not knowing how to act around Damon since you've learned he was the one to compel you. Someone who you trusted countless times before. You just don't know what to say or how to act around him. You've just done your best to avoid him.

Which had gotten kind of hard, considering you lived with him and his brother. Safer there than at your actual home. At least at the boarding house you didn't have the lingering memory of your parents.

Everyone thinks you're fine, you responded exactly how you knew they would want you to when they asked if you were okay. No one suspecting a thing. Except for Damon, yes he hasn't been the best person in the world, though he does care for you a lot, he can't tell exactly why, but he does. That's why it was so hard for Famon to compel not just Jeremy, but you as well to leave Mystic Falls to go to Colorado.

You had grown close to Damon after he came to town. You met him when Elena and Stefan brought you over to the boarding house to keep you safe for a couple of days while Jeremy was staying with Alaric. He immediately took a liking to you. You would just sit in the library reading one of the many old books for hours and when you weren't doing that you would be hanging out with him. You and gotten close fast.

Stefan and Elena didn't like it at much in the beginning, but came fonder of you guys having a friendship as the weeks went on. Damon had sort of mellowed out because of you. Not a lot, but some.

Damon can tell when there’s something going on with you and all he has to do is figure out why. Surely it can’t be about the trip. You'd say something to someone, or come to him or at least to talk to him about it a little right? 

Damon is sitting on one of the couches in the main room with a glass of bourbon in his hand and the tv on playing re-runs of old sitcoms from the 70′s. He was carefully thinking of a way that he could get you to open up, in the end he came up with nothing before going into a daze.

It was getting later and you finally stopped cutting yourself feeling somewhat a little better. There are some littered left over cuts that hadn’t healed but you paid no attention to them. You took deep breathes before falling asleep, hoping to not have any nightmares tonight cause you don't think you can hold in the screams so Damon can’t hear you anymore like you had been holding them the past weeks. Before that you grasped one of his pillows bringing it towards your chest, hugging it tightly.

You've been having horrible nightmares about the school and the bullying and the others finding everything out and callig you a bay for how you reacted to the kids there. The nightmares have been taunting you and they won't go away, they've gotten worse every night.

Damon quickly jolted awake hearing screams coming from inside the house. At first he looks at his surroundings, the living room...he must of fallen asleep here. Then he listened and soon realized that those screams were coming from you.

Stefan isn't here tonight, and he hadn't told you at least where he was going to be.

Worried, Damon vamp sped upstairs to your room, surprised that your door is unlocked. He got closer to your screaming and squirming form, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Y/n....come on wake up. It's just a dream.......Y/n?" Damon slightly shook you.

That only caused you to swing around to face him, still asleep but now hyperventilating. Damon started to shake you more cautiously now, who knew how hard it would be to wake you up from a nightmare. He'd never witnessed you having one before.

“Y/n/n Wake up!” After more shaking and talking to you, you finally sprung up, awake.

While you're trying to calm your breathing down, Damon twisted to his side and turned on the lap that’s placed on the nightstand. 

“Damon? W-what are you doing in here?” you asked the vampire, confused as to why he was in his room. 

“I heard you screaming because of a nightmare and I needed to know you were alright” Damon said softly and gently pushed you back down so you were lying down again. 

“No, no y-you don’t care I-if I’m alright or not” you said looking away from him. Not having anyone beside Jeremy and maybe a few times Elena comfort you after a nightmare. And this was the worst possible one for Damon to be there for.

Damon had a hurt look on his face, but hid it before reaching his hand out and placing it on your shoulder. The action making you face him with dried tear streaks down your cheeks. 

“Baby, of course I care about you. Yes, I may not have said it, but I do” Damon said gently and wiped the tear residue off your face.

“You do?” you mumbled with a tiny pout on your face from your dream and everything going on around you right now. 

Damon nodded and pulled you into his arms, you immediately climbed into his lap and started to sob into his chest.

Damon ran his fingers up and down your back soothingly. He was surprised how fast you broke and hugged you closer to his chest, wanting you to feel safe.

After some time, you pulled back to look at him with teary eyes and your hands shaking. Damon gently grasped your hands to stop the shaking and looked down to see an angry red patch on your wrist. Bringing your wrists up closer to see, he rolled up the sleeves of your hoodie to show all of the unhealed scratches on you wrists and forearms. 

“Y/n? Why would you?” Damon was at a loss of words.

You looked at him in the eyes, mouth parting, wanting to explain but just can't and not knowing how to.

"Y/n/n, you need to tell me what made you do this. Is it from Denver?" Damon asked more gently this time.

You nodded slowly with tears running down his cheeks.

"It w-was bad. K-kids made f-fun of me. St-starved myself. C-cutting myself helps t-take pain away fr-from me" you explained, whispering.

He quickly wrapped his arms around you again. You relaxed a little into the vampire, nuzzling your head into his chest before you started talking.

"Why don't you think I'm pathetic? You can be honest, we both know the answer is yes" You mumbled.

"Y/n, you are not pathetic, don't ever call yourself that again. You're enough, you're an amazing person, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If anyone ever calls you pathetic again, you tell me and I'll make sure to raise hell on them." Damon explained and placed a kiss on top of your head which he's never done before.

That brought a small smile to your face and you mumbled out an 'okay'.

Damon is about to get up but you quickly wrapped his arms and legs around him tighter making sure he won't leave you alone.

"Don't worry baby, I wasn't going to leave I was just going to get into the bed so we can get a bit more comfortable than on the chair" Damon reassured you. You nodded, understanding and got off Damon, climbing into the bed. You moved over a bit so he could also get in. When Damon laid down, right away you cuddled into him, using a strong grip.

"Baby, promise me you won't ever cut yourself again and if you do have those thoughts just come to me and we can talk about it" Damon kissed the top of your head.

You looked up at him and nodded, "I promise" you mumbled and Damon smiled hearing your small words while you started to doze off on his chest.

"I love you Dee" You said right before falling into a deep sleep.

"I love you too, Baby" Damon responded, knowing full well that you couldn't hear him.

[locker42]

Hey hey what’s up

Just wondering if u could do one where Luke comes back and is furious that jj trashed the pills. After jj has to feel the aftermath of Lukes rage, Y/N finds  him hurt and angry and they get into a really bad  argument.  to which Y/N goes to Lukes place without JJ or the others knowing to confront Luke/ or secretly get Jjs stuff and ends up getting beaten up?

Something into that direction would be great 

Shitty Father

Warnings: swearing, violence, abuse, injuries.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Kook!reader.

Word count: 4702.

Masterlist.

Sorry it took me so long, had quite a lot going on. Gonna start posting again!

It wasn’t unlike JJ to disappear for three days but it still worried you every time. Because you knew it had something to do with his dad - it always had. All the times he came to your window, face all bruised up and bloody, holding his tears in. There were too many times. You wanted to go to his house and check on him, however after remembering his warnings about coming anywhere near his house, you hesitated.

As you drove towards the Chateau the only thought in your head was if JJ was alright. You hated the feeling in your stomach, because you knew something was wrong. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in three days, and with every passing hour your worry grew.

After locking your car you walked up the stairs to the porch of the Chateau. What you did not expect to find there was JJ, sitting on the couch with his hands in his hair. You walked towards him slowly, careful not to make any loud noises. “JJ.” You called quietly, but it was enough for him to lift his head up.

You almost gasped when you saw the purple bruised around his swollen eye, the dry blood on his nose and the cut on his lip. There were dry tears on his cheeks and the sight made you want to pull him into your arms and never let go, but you knew better than that.

“Hey,” you started as you slowly knelt in front of him, “can I take care of you?”

He didn’t seem to hear your question as he stared at the floor beneath you. You could hear his rapid breathing and his hands that were gripping his hair to hide the shaking.

“JJ, please.” You tried again, gently bringing your hands to his wrists and pulling them away from his face. He didn’t object and let you lift his head, but his eyes refused to meet yours.

“Let me take care of your injuries. You don’t have to talk to me, just let me help you.”

Still not making eye contact with you he nodded, allowing you to pull him up and lead him towards the bathroom. You already had a first aid kit ready there for when him or John B or any other Pogues would get into a fight. JJ took a seat on the toilet and you knelt on the floor before him. Grabbing the slightly wet gauze you started cleaning his face.

“I’m sorry.”

He whispered, so quietly that you almost missed it.

“Sorry for what, love?”

He lifted his eyes and finally met yours. And it hurt. Because you saw how much pain and sadness were in them. And it hurt you, to know that the person you love most in the whole world was treated the way he was. If just you to see him hurt.

“For disappearing on you, again. You don’t deserve the way I treat you, Y/N. God, you’re so good to me and I’m-“

“Im gonna stop you right there.” You cut him off, stopping your work to clear your hands and to cup both sides of his face, careful around the bruises. “I’m gonna stop you right there because whatever more you are going to say is bullshit. JJ, you are everything to me, and that’s not a small amount. You are the light in my life, the laughter, the happiness. Without you, JJ, we’re all doomed. All the Pogues. You don’t need to apologize about this nor do you need to explain yourself. I love you, that’s why I’m good to you. Because love isn’t about deserving, it’s about giving. And I’m choosing to give you everything because you give me the love that matters the most to me.”

He stared at you for a few second before one tear fell from his eye and down his cheek. You quickly wiped it away with your thumb. He leaned in, placing his lips against yours in a soft yet passionate kiss that delivered all the love he felt toward you.

“I love you so fucking much, you know that?”

“I do. I love you, too, JJ.”

After you cleaned him up you laid on the bed beside him, his head on your chest and your hand in his hair, playing with it. His hand was holding your free one, tracing circles on the back of it. You could hear his breathing, no longer fast and panicked but slow and relaxed. His whole body relaxed against yours and you felt relief at that. Relief that your JJ was right there, with you, safe and protected from all harm. You pressed your lips to his forehead, a small smile rising on your face as he hummed to the little act of love. At that moment you knew that no matter what or where, everything was alright as long as he was by your side.

________

As the sun rose, you were already awake, drowning in thoughts. Although JJ was back you were still haunted by the thoughts of what went down with him in those three days. He’s already agreed on staying at John B’s or yours when things got rough so why was he back home? And why did it take him three days to come back?

Before you could drown yourself in your worries, JJ walked into the kitchen. He was shirtless, all the bruising on his torso exposed. His hair was a mess, part of it because you played with it all night. He walked all the way beside you and hugged you from behind. You smiled, leaning back against him and reaching to rub his arms.

“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” You asked, turning in his arms to face him.

“Good, only because you were beside me all night.” He answered with a soft smile and placed a light kiss to your lips. “What about you? What are you doing awake so early?”

“Noting, just thinking.” You shrugged, placing your head under his chin.

“About?” He asked, running his hand through your hair.

“What happened, JJ? When you were gone, what happened?” You dared ask him, lifting your head to look at him. He sighed, letting go of you and running his hand through his hair, leaning on the counter behind him.

“I came back home to get some clothes, but when I was leaving I saw a bottle of pills on the coffee table and I just- I don’t know what I was thinking but I just knew that I didn’t have the energy to deal with one more relapse of his. So I through the pills away and I walked out of the house when he arrived. He noticed the pills were gone and, well..”

He trailed off, and you didn’t need to guess to know what happened next. But it angered you, it angered you that he was still going back there and looking out for him. But most of all, you were burning with hatred for Luke. What kind of father beats their own child? And then he claims to love him.

“I still can’t understand why are you always going back there.” You said, and he immediately sighed, knowing what conversation was ahead. “No, I mean, seriously, JJ. And why didn’t you tell me? God, I could just kill him.”

“You’re not gonna do anything, okay?” He said sternly, grabbing you when you tried to turn around. “Look, I know it’s fucked up but, he’s my dad, Y/N. I can’t just ignore that.”

“He’s you dad? What has he ever done for you?” You challenged, letting your anger and frustration overflow.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” He refused, but you were not done.

“Answer me, JJ. You say he’s your father but what kind of father does this? You keep justifying his behavior and standing up for him when any of us say something bad about him. But it’s all true. He’s a no-good, low-life, shifty asshole. I just don’t-“

He didn’t let you finish, grabbing your shoulders tightly.

“Just shut up, okay? You’re not making things better or easier by saying those things. You will never understand it, Y/N.”

You wiggled yourself out of his grip with a frown on your face. “Then help me understand, JJ. Because I can’t stand watching you get hurt all the time, and then you only come back for more.”

“We’re different, okay?” He raised his voice. “You and I,” he pointed, “were different. We come from different worlds. You’re a Kook, as much as you don’t like to admit it, you’re a Kook. You don’t have to deal with this type of shit I deal with. That’s why you will never understand this.”

“Really? You’re pulling the Kook card on me? Why, ‘cause I was born on a different side of the island?” You said, feeling yourself grow angrier.

“Yes!” He yelled. “That’s exactly why. Ever since you’ve been born you’ve been been fed everything with a silver spoon. You have parents who will do anything for you and you have a roof to live under without having to worry about who pays the bills or whether we have water and electricity this month or not. That’s not how people like me live.”

“I know that, JJ.”

At this point, you’ve created a space between you, not wanting to get close to him at the moment.

“I know that there’s an obvious difference between us. But first of all, my parent will not do anything for me, they have proven that the second I started hanging out with you. I’m not saying that we’re the same, I’m saying that I am able to understand what you’re going through-“

“No, you don’t!” He cut you off, making you jump at the raise of his voice. “You don’t understand, Y/N. You know why? Because all your life you’ve been a spoiled Kook who didn’t have a clue that in order to live you have to work. I mean, why would you? Your parents are a pair of arrogant assholes who probably fed you some shit about the low-lifers and about the fact that it’s our fault that we’re living in poverty. Because, admit it, you’ve never really gave a fuck about us Pogues until you met me, is that right?”

You were face to face, closer than you’d like. Your eyes were burning with tears of anger, hurt and frustration. You couldn’t believe he was saying those words. You really thought that he didn’t care about Kook or Pogue, that he cared about your relationship over your status.

“Well, I’m just some spoiled Kook, how would I know?” You said, your voice shaking slightly but you didn’t let it affect the glare you sent him as you moved across to the guest bedroom to get your stuff and get the hell out of there. You were sure John B had heard everything from his room but you didn’t care, all you wanted was to get out of there and far away from JJ.

You walked straight past him as he tried to talk to you, heading to the front door.

“Y/N, please, just let me talk to you.” He continued, but you ignored him. You opened the door and walked to your car, not sparing him a glance as you pulled out of the driveway.

________

You didn’t really believe in hate. You never believed that hating someone would benefit you. It was just intoxicating yourself to the point where you think more about the person you hate than they think about you. You found the whole thing pointless. Luke Maybank, however, was an exception. You hated that man with all your heart. Having witnessed all the pain he had caused to the man you loved most in the world. So when you walked into the small market by your neighborhood, your eyes immediately located Luke. He was standing in front of the alcohol isle, browsing through the different kinds with his eyes. His eyes, that were red from whatever drug he took this time. Unfortunately for you, you needed milk, which was right by the end of that isle. So, instead of going straight you turned right and made a detour to get to the fridge. You opened the glass door and sighed as the coolness seeping from the fridge, which was the total opposite of the weather outside. You picked up one gallon of milk and put it in your basket.

“Y/N L/N, there’s a girl I thought I’ll never see again.”

You heard a hoarse voice from behind you, sending chills down your spine as you immediately recognized it to be Luke’s. You slowly turned around, having no intention of starting a conversation with the man.

“What do you want?” You asked sharply, sending him a glare.

“Well, aren’t you a feisty one?” He said with a smirk, and you felt nauseous just by looking at him.

You moved to walked past him but he was quick to grab your arm, pulling you back.

“Where are you going? I need to ask you something about that little shit.”

You rolled your eyes.

“First let me go or I’ll scream.” You threatened, but the only response you got was a chuckle.

“Where is JJ? He hasn’t been home in a few days.”

You shuddered at the thought of him ever reaching JJ and very much possibly putting his hands on him.

“I don’t know, and even if I did why would I tell you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a shitty excuse of a father, Luke. Or moreover, you’re a piece of shit. You don’t deserve to have JJ as your son because all you do is hurt him. So no, I’m not going to tell you where he is.” You pulled your arm out of his strong grip and pushed past him, leaving him behind as you quickly paid for your things and walked out of there to your car, desperate to get as far away from him as possible.

You prayers weren’t answered, as Luke opened the passenger door and got inside the car. You heart started beating fast and you gasped as you saw a gun in his hand - aimed at you.

“You think you can just talk to me like that and I’ll let it happen? Who do you think I am? Some bitch like your little boyfriend?!” He raised his voice, pressing the gun to your stomach.

“Luke, this is ridiculous. Just get out of the car and I’ll leave, I promise.” You said, trying not to let your fear show.

“No, I got a better idea.” With his free hand, he put the car in drive, forcing you to press on the breaks. “You and I are gonna take a little trip back to my place, and there we’re gonna wait for JJ to come back. I bet he’ll run straight home once he found out you’re with me.”

“Okay,” you said, handing gripping the wheel tightly to prevent your hand from shaking, “I’ll go there, just put down the gun, please.”

“Why, so you could do whatever you want? Nah, this gun stays on you until you’re sitting on my couch in my living room.” He said and pressed the gun even harder against your side, making you clench your jaw. “Now drive, bitch.”

Your drive slowly, trying to stall as much as you could but he quickly noticed and aimed the gun to your head to make you speed up. You have never been more terrified in your life. This was your longest interaction with Luke, and you had no idea what he was capable of, especially under the influence.

After you parked the car in the driveway Luke got out of the car and walked to your side, opening the door and pulling you out of the car. He dragged you up the stairs and opened the front door, pushing you inside the house. You fell onto the floor, trying to get up but he kicked you, pressing his boot down on your back, making you yell out in pain.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going, huh?!” He yelled. He then grabbed you from your hair and pulled you to the couch. “Now, you’re gonna sit there and shut up.”

He walked over to the kitchen counter, opening the cupboard and pulling out a bottle of cheap whiskey. He poured some into a glass and then turned to you. “You want anything to drink?”

You shook your head, refusing to talk to him.

“Hey, use you goddamn words.” He said sternly, grabbing two glasses from the counter and walking over to you. “You’re almost as bad as JJ.”

As much as you wanted to shut up and not make him even angrier, you had to control your own anger. Because nothing made you angrier than the man that was sitting next to you.

“Here,” he said and handed you a glass of whiskey, “be a good girl and drink.”

“I don’t want to.” You said calmly.

“Well, I didn’t quite ask you. And when I did you didn’t answer.”

You swallowed thickly before taking a small sip from the glass, feeling the burning sensation down your throat.

“That a girl. You know, I will never understand what you see in that boy.” He said and took a sip of his own beverage.

“Maybe that’s ‘cause you spend all your time with him beating him.”

You knew you shouldn’t have said anything the moment he grabbed your neck, but it was too late.

“What did you say to me?!” He asked and tightened his grip on your throat.

“What? That a surprise to you? I saw your knuckles, it’s no secret that you’re an abusive asshole.” You said, voice straining as he choked you.

“Fucking bitch.” He muttered before pushing you down go the floor, the glass falling from your hand and shattering into the wooden floor. He turned you around, and before you could comprehend what was happening he sent a punch to your jaw.

“You don’t talk to me like that, understand?!” He yelled before dragging you up and slamming your body against the wall. “There will be a price to pay.”

The sent another punch to your stomach and you bent forward from the pain, all the air leaving your body.

“Pathetic slut, can’t even take some beatin’.”

His words fueled you and you finally found the power to fight back. You used all your momentum to push him away from you, and then you tried running for the door. But he was too quick and you were too slow. He grabbed you hair and spun you to face him, his face inches from yours.

“You think you can just run away? Well then let me tell you something. You ain’t leavin’ til my son gets here. And when he does I’ll let you go, but he stays here.” He was gripping your face with his hand, making you wince as his nails dug into your skin.

“Why? So you could hit him a little more? You’re just a sad, lonely man who takes his pain out on his son - the only person he has left.” You snapped. “You think I’m pathetic? Just look at your own life, man.”

He laughed, another hand now gripping in by you hair, pulling your face closer to his. “You’re gonna regret that.”

His psychotic smile was the last thing you saw before her dropped you to the floor, slamming your head against the coffee table.

You work up at the sound of glass shuttering and yelling. You sat up, your hand going to the cut you had on the side of your forehead. You winced at the headache, looking down at your hand and seeing blood on it. You looked around the room and figured you were in JJ’s room, on the bed.

“You fucking no-good piece of shit.”

You heard from outside the room. You stood up, leaning on the wall to not fall down from the dizziness that flooded your head. You slowly walked towards the door and opened it, the noises getting louder. You peeked down the hallway, and almost gasped at the sight of JJ pinned down to the floor, Luke above him, delivering punch after punch. You started walking towards them as quietly as you could, picking up a beer bottle from the kitchen and slamming it onto Luke’s head. He stopped his punching, and you took it as an opportunity to push him off JJ. You crouched down next to him, cupping his face in your hands.

“JJ, are you okay?”

He looked at you in utter surprise, clearly not expecting you to be there.

“Y-Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?!” He asked in a panicked voice.

“Long story. Come on, we need to leave.” You said and tried to pull him up with you, but he stopped you. “JJ, come on, we need to-“

You were cut off by two arms pulling you away from JJ and pushing you against the wall.

“No!” JJ yelled, trying to stand up. “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

Luke didn’t listen to him and turned to you.

“Well, look who’s awake.” He said with a smile.

“Fuck you.” You spat, trying to get loose of his grip.

“You have a really dirty mouth, sweetheart. Time to clean it up, don’t you think?”

Before you could object he was already punching you, blood running down from your nose. He raised his hand to deliver another one but JJ caught it.

“Let her go.” He said through clenched teeth. “Get the fuck off her or I’ll fucking kill you.”

He wrapped his arms around his father’s neck and choked him. You took the opportunity the slid away from his arms. You ducked down and picked up a big piece of glass from the floor and pressed it against Luke’s throat.

“You let us both go, right now.” You demanded, but he only laughed.

“I don’t think you have the guts to kill me, baby girl.”

From behind him, JJ squeezed his throat harder. “Don’t even fucking talk to her.”

He dropped him to the floor and slammed another beer bottle to his head, knocking him out cold. He turned to you, the glass was still in your shaking hand and your face was frozen. He walked to you and took the glass out of your grip, discarding it to the floor. He pulled you into him, whispering ‘you’re okay’ over and over again and you were pretty sure those words were meant for himself. He pulled away and grabbed your hand.

“Let’s go, we can talk about this at the Chateau.”

You both walked out of the house and to your car. You let him drive to John B’s place, knowing you couldn’t drive at the moment. You were both silent the whole drive, however a hand on your thigh kept you calm. He parked the car, but made no move to get out. Instead, he moved his gaze to you. Your gaze was focused on the Chateau rather than on him, hand fiddling in your lap.

“Y/N…” he said quietly, hesitation clear in his voice. “Let’s get you inside so I can take care of you, okay?”

You knew it wasn’t what he wanted to say, your current state was probably the reason he changed his words. You nodded your head, opening the door and getting out of the car. He was by our side after only a second, wrapping his arm around you and telling you that you could lean on him if you needed. As you made your way inside the Chateau, the pain in your stomach and all the other places Luke hit you started to hurt more and more. JJ opened the screen door, stepping aside the let you walk in first. You saw John B sitting on the couch, a questioning look on his face as he saw your face. You didn’t pay him any mind and just kept walking towards the bathroom, JJ right behind you. You sat on top of the counter and waited silently as JJ began taking care of your cuts.

“I know it’s usually you who’s in this position, so I just hope I’ll do a good job.” He tried to joke with half a smile, but you didn’t respond.

He sighed. “Look, Y/N, I know you probably don’t want to talk about this but, baby, I need to know what happened. You had me so fucking worried when I saw you there.”

You took in a breath, trying to find the words to describe what happened.

“I was at the supermarket, and he was there. I tried to avoid him but he saw me anyway. He started talking to me and he mentioned you and I just-“ you paused, running your hand through your hair. “I just couldn’t let him. I got so mad, J. I told him that he was a piece of shut and walked out of there. I got inside the car and he got in after me, a gun pulled out and aimed at me.”

“Fuck.” He cursed, dropping his head low. He couldn’t believe his father did that to you - that he dared aiming a gun at you.

“He told me to drive to your house so I did, and there he told me to sit on the couch. He offered me a drink and told me to ‘be a good girl and drink’.” You quoted, noting how JJ’s face stayed still, jaw clenching in anger and eyes fixed on the wall behind you. “I drank. And then he started talking about you again and how he didn’t see what I saw in you. I muttered some response and then he- well, started hitting me. Then he banged my head against the coffee table and I passed out.”

JJ stepped away from you, running his hands through his hair and down his face, leaning on the opposite wall. He cursed quietly before leaning back and punching the wall.

“JJ.” You tried, but he paid no mind, throwing another punch to the wall. “JJ, stop, you’re just gonna hurt yourself.” You raised your voice a little, standing up and pulling him towards you. His eyes were filled with tears, reflecting the anger behind them. “Calm down, please.”

“I can’t, I can’t, Y/N. I can’t just calm down when I know what he did to you. I’m gonna fucking kill him for even touching you.”

He tried to pull away again but you didn’t let him, cupping his face to make him look at you. “JJ, I’m okay, I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me that bad.”

“But he hurt you. He hurt you and he knew how much you fucking mean to me. I can’t just let that go.” He explained, cupping your head, looking at you like you were his life. “I can’t deal with the thought of him hurting you.”

“I know, trust me I know.”

You actually did know. You knew exactly how he felt because you felt the exact same thing whenever you saw the damage Luke did. You felt the same anger and the same urge to kill him for even touching him. But you couldn’t let him spiral out of control - not now.

“I love you so much, you know that?” He said, placing a kiss to your cheek. “And I’m so fucking sorry for what I said to you. I had no right to tell you those things. Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“I know, J. It’s okay, I forgive you. And I love you, too.”

You rose to your tiptoes and kissed him gently. He grabbed your waist and deepened the kiss, running his tongue against yours. You hummed in delight, running your fingers through his soft hair. You were truly lucky to have found someone that you truly love, and that he truly loved you.

“It’s all good now, J.”

[doylldonmagar]

So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

[i-yap]

Disorders batboys s/o have( dick and jason ver)

Im a psychology student and i think everyone in this world has some symptoms if not full blown disorders. I also struggle with GAD and I have worked in 2 psychiatric hospitals so far in one I got a lot of readings+ 2 months , 8hrs on weekdays hospital shifts in 4 sectors. I don't mean to offend anyone but if you have a certain disorder it does determine a lot of your personality traits and therefore make you incompatible with certain types of people. this is just a " oh I think the batboys could take care or be compatible with someone with this disorder enough to not hamper their healing "

Anyways..(im so scared to post this)

Dick grayson- mood disorders (major depressive diroder. bipolar disorder, seasonal depression, burnout)

Dick is this silent mother hen sort of figure. he loves taking care of others, it fills him with altruistic feelings and helps him feel needed. Someone with a mood disorder needs someone they can go and be sad with without feeling judged. Dick understands that burnt out feeling really well. He understands how sometimes you just want to let your feelings go through you. He is warm sunshine personified, joyful calm and reliable. He likes taking care of you, the small quiet moments. He will find small personal ways to make your mood a little more bearable however he can without overwhelming you.

"he comes back from his crime fighting to find you in bed. he recognizes your mood instantly. slowly approaching you and gently kissing you awake .

"hey baby ", "youre back dickie" "mhm how long have you been in bed?" " I don't know" "I'm starting a bath, would you like to join me" "I don't really feel like moving" "ill carry you" ."

Jason todd- anxiety disorders ( generalized anxiety disorder(gad), phobia, panic attacks, separation anxiety disorder(sad))

gad- the fact that jason literally fights crime every night and is super impulsive/doesnt care about his safety, so seeing you almost ripping your head off from worry for him not only warms his heart ( he thinks you hate him and struggles to believe that YOU could give someone like him any attention but here you are) but also makes him take better care of himself for your sake. he hates seeing you worried but he loves calming you down. holding your hands tight, replecating meditation style breathing and mindfulness practices. kissing you overthinking head. hugging you when you stress cry, giving you massages.

Phobia- he understands triggers better than anyone else, he will be your big bad protector making sure to help you avoid the item that's causing you phobia. holding your hand and hiding you behind him if you have social anxiety, making sure to avoid triggering environments if you have agoraphobia, killing all snakes in the world if you have a phobia of them( he seriously suggests it but you stop him cuz it'll hurt the ecosystem)

Panic attacks- he has them too, either you have learned a way to deal with them and teach him or he has learned a way to deal with them and helps you . if he hasn't before meeting you, he has a new much stronger motivation to learn techniques or medication that can help deal with them for your sake and therefore also accelerate his healing

seperation anxiety-.. he has it too so like.( ik its more common in kids but adult sad is also a thing) both of you are clingy, its a win win for you two , fuck the rest of the world

again this is just my opinion okay? don't make mental health a taboo , if this post was about batboys x blind! y/n no one would have an issue. mental health is a condition and sometimes its out of our control, it depends on so many factors. Its nothing to be ashamed or scared of.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:

"can you please forgive me?"

starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.

"you can be angry or hate me all you want"

lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.

"i know now that you want nothing from me"

this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.

"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"

this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.

"please understand me"

now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.

i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.

"being with me requires some patience"

all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.

"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"

remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.

this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.

"but please know this"

there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.

my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡

[biscuitboba]

Not to be crazy about luffy (and zoro) again, but i actually can't stop thinking about luffy and the way he values the people that he holds dear? I think that the more luffy loves someone, the greater the support and respect he will give to the person's ambition.

Remember how a person's dream or ambition is a very integral part of one piece? Thinking about how luffy is probably the person who respects zoro's dream the most (and ofc vice versa cuz THRILLER BARK!) And i just can't-

With luffy we all know that he doesn't really mind dying if it means he's in the process of fighting for his dream, so with the whole zoro vs mihawk fight, luffy of course can only support (from afar) and watch his first mate fight the fearsome warlord.

No matter how much he worries for zoro's life, he just can't get in the way of zoro's dream. He knows that better than anyone not to get in the way of someone else's dream. And their deal (back in shells town) only strengthens luffy's resolve to let zoro face mihawk and not get in his way.

Luffy's concern for zoro is very palpable, but despite this, he stops johnny and yosaku from interfering, making sure that no one gets in the way of zoro's fight. That just proves how much luffy respects his first mate's dream. Like you can see that he is cleary frustrated, clenching his jaw, he is doing everything in his power not to approach his first mate and interfere. But after mihawk slashed his first mate, luffy literally lost it, and well... we all know the rest (he had to intervene)

Im sorry but god, zoro vows to never lose again, him pointing at the sky with his sword as he shouts his words... and of course the iconic moment where for the first time someone calls luffy by his future title, im not normal about it

Also mihawk acknowledging luffy and zoro's compatibility right away will always gets me, cuz honestly dracule mihawk, how???

Real talk, but what i love about zoro and luffy's relationship is how they acknowledge each other's strength. They always say things like "he is strong, he got this", "there's no way he is going to lose", "he will be fine", "it's him, no need to worry", et cetera... Like they have so much trust in each other's strength, that oftentimes they don't even feel the need to worry about the other person, because they are confident with each other's abilities.

But on the other side, sometimes (by sometimes i actually mean quite a lot) they can't help but to feel worried for each other. Especially when the other person gets hurt or attacked right in front of one of them. The worry intensifies when one of them faces a tough opponent or acts rather recklessly. And i think about that a lot.

Ok so, returning to the discussion in my first paragraph, about how luffy will always respect the ambition/dream of his loved ones. Especially if the person is strong, he will really respect that person's strength. A very clear example for this one is after leaving thriller bark and finding out something is wrong with ace's vivre card. The crew asks luffy about whether he wants to go after his brother or not, luffy replies:

Like we all know about how much luffy likes to brag about his brother's strength and also how much he loves ace. But exactly because of that.. luffy chose not to go after his brother at that time.

Now, not to make everything about zolu (who am i kidding? I actually will always make everything about zolu), but thinking about the way luffy put his trust in zoro to fight for his own dream in baratie, and the way luffy feels confident enough to fall asleep for a minute during the fight with big mama and kaido... because he trusts that his powerful first mate will be able to take care of himself, but more importantly, luffy trusts his first mate to keep him safe from danger. In this not essay i will-

[stealingyourbones]

Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

[janovavalen]

im gonna be like the little devil on your shoulder politely asking for grover fics (im the person who requested the hurt/comfort one :D) I WANNA SAY A) THE FICS FANTASTIC LOVED IT SM B) DO YOU ONLY WRITE FOR FEM READER?? ASKIN OUT OF CURIOSITY BECAUSE IM NON BINARY IF NOT TOTALLY FINE OBVI

now askin for another one because im silly like that grover x gn(if you do gn if not then fem obvi) reader angst. i want to feel pain AND TYSM FOR READING THIS AND SOING THIS IF YOU DO ILYSM FOR DOING GROVER /P 🫶🫶(ps sorry for making this rly long i have lots to say)

a/n: omg HIII i was hoping you liked it anon!! i literally was like ‘bro what if they hate this sm imma be mad embarrassed’ bc i was rubbing on coffee and water when i wrote that😭 BUT YES ILL TRY TO WRITE WHAT U ASKED FORR, i’m a little scared bc i never wrote gn reader before and i don’t wanna like fuck it up for anyone but i’ll try<3

✧I WISH YOU SAW YOURSELF HOW I SEE YOU || grover underwood x gn!reader

summary: when grover comes back from his quest with percy and annabeth, he can’t help but notice that y/n has grown closer and closer to luke, causing him a bit of worry for the two of them.

word count: 1237 (this was rushed bc i was trying to get something out to you guys in so sorryyy)

warnings: misunderstanding, HORRID CLUTCHING jealousy, reader not knowing, grover giving the cold shoulder, slight hurt but comfort and hugs in the end<3

grover had just gotten back to one of his quests with annabeth and percy. and he was esthetic to get back to camp.

they meant everything to him. when they first met, they had been very quiet, reserved but polite and never ever put one in their place if needed. they didn’t take up bullying and they wouldn’t stop now.

when grover had met them however, they had been in the lake taking a small swim on the hot day, he had been there to just sit under the sun. which they allowed, the two of them didn’t talk until they had decided since they were both there and in the same camp, the two of them might as well know each other.

and from then on, they had been nonstop talking to each other, hanging out, laughing and chatting at all the meal times and sooner or later, grover felt his crush on them developing faster and faster. they had been eighteen, the prime age for an adult so he didn’t feel weirded out—even though they told him not to feel that way.

when he looked around for them, he found that they were nowhere to be found which concerned him a little. usually y/n is always waiting for him at the front of the cabin but this time, they weren’t ?

a little concerned he began to ask around for y/n, everyone saying they didn’t really know or they saw them just a second ago.

‘where could they be…’ he asked himself while turning around to look over his shoulder.

just as he walked near the bows and arrows and there they were. standing there with a wide warm smile on their face, only..they weren’t alone? once somebody moved away from where this mysterious person was there stood luke castellan. a wide smile on his own face while he shook his head at y/n who must have told a joke.

grover wouldn’t particularly care or mind in this situation but…he felt something was a bit different about the way y/n had been laughing. it was over excessive and a bit different then the way they laughed at him?

when y/n laughed at him—with him, they usually would look away or clear their throat, but with luke? they stayed their eyes locked and or they’d bend down to laugh while covering their mouth.

y/n usually didn’t cover their mouth with him. could this be a sign that he was in the friend zone the whole time.

clutching his hand into a fist next to his side he walked away, unknowingly to him, y/n had called out his name with a smile but it immediately dropped when he didn’t turn their way making y/n extremely confused a the tiniest bit of embarrassed at how they was ignored so openly.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

later that day at dinner time, y/n had happily made their way over to grover and percy who had been speaking but when she sat down he got quiet. started to pick at his horns very subtly but noticing to y/n.

‘uhm…so how did the quest go?’ y/n asked while looking over at percy who shrugged and to grover who didn’t look up.

‘i hope good?’ they said once more to get grover’s attention only for him to not even stop picking at his food. with a sigh of sadness, they grabbed their food and got up to another table with their siblings.

percy looked and was dumbfounded—‘grover? what was that?’

‘nothing?’ grover shook his head while frowning his eyebrows.

‘nothing? dude, you flat out ignored y/n and on top of that hurt their feelings? i thought you were all…on the side of doing nothing but making them happy?’ percy asked once more while setting his blueberries down.

‘okay…well, they seemed to have enough happiness with luke when they were talking…they can find happiness with him better than me apparently.’ he sighed while trying his hardest not to look over at y/n who’s mood had completely died at that table he sat at.

percy scoffed and rolled his eyes—‘are you kidding me? dude y/n is literally in love with you? and for you to think they like luke castellan more than you when they specifically stated they saw him as a brother and nothing more…is insane.’ percy finished shaking his head at grover who had sat up more and groaned.

placing his hands on his face while mentally beating himself up at the fact he treated y/n that way with no hesitation.

‘your kidding me…oh my’ grover mumbled while slowly looking over to y/n who wasn’t there. getting up in a hurry, grover went to ask luke, annabeth and the others sitting at the table with y/n where they went.

‘oh…they went to take a walk in the forest, said their head was hurting…you wouldn’t be the reason right…’ annabeth eyed him dangerously and warningly, making him hurry and shake his head but annabeth could see through him.

‘what did you do’ she groaned. grover sighed and explained leaving luke a bit speechless and annabeth to roll her eyes with a sigh.

‘well stop standing here any longer and go find her you pea brain’ annabeth pointed over to the forest leaving grover to hurry and run to it.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

‘y/n!’ he shouted while cupping his mouth to make it a bit louder. when no answers came through he shouted their name over and over until.

‘what?’ along with a sniffle and a shaky voice. feeling his heart burst and his strings pull, he say y/n sitting with their legs close to their chest and their face pressed on their knees. seeing them this way because of him made him almost cry.

‘y/n…listen i’m so, so sorry. i—i thought you’d move on from me when i was on my quest to luke so i was so upset and so jealous because luke is a great guy and who wouldn’t want to be with him—‘

‘me grover…i don’t. i want you, i made that so very known and i don’t get why you can’t see that—‘

‘i know! i know, im so sorry, okay? i’m sorry’ he whispered while making his way over to y/n who’d shed a tear but wiped it immediately with their hand. when grover placed himself next to y/n, he was quick to hold them in his comfortable arms.

as y/n buried their head into his neck they mumbled—‘i wish you saw yourself how i see you’ they mumbled making him almost cry with a huge smile.

not being able to stop himself he ambushed y/n with hundreds of apology kisses while y/n laughed and fell back into the grass with their arms trying to push him away.

he did pull away, but only to close his eyes and make his way down and over their lips. y/n kissed back immediately with their hands cupping his cheeks.

‘i think i really love you y/n l/n’ he confessed. y/n let out a small giggle and licked her lip.

‘and i think i really love you too grover underwood’ pulling his face in for another kiss which he took.