#the point is that he doesn't become an interesting character to me until the last shot when suddenly the words

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Husk please

The request for a Sinner darling was pretty much the plot I had for his concept... so I hope it's okay I combined the two :(? It would make more sense than me repeating myself.

@okchijt helped me out with this to make sure I got the character right and filled this with good ideas ^^

Yandere! Husker Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Stalking, Drinking, Trauma, Emotional Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Murder briefly mentioned, Blood mention, Biting mention but not done, Scenting, Dubious relationship.

For how moody Husk is most of the time, I imagine he'd care for his obsession very much.

It's said he lost the ability to love long ago... which he no doubt believes to be true for a long time.

Even when his obsession begins Husk would still be in denial of the idea.

There's no way he's feeling love towards another sinner here.

Yet here he is, worrying for you more than any other.

His obsession would be the most likely to occur with someone who's in the hotel.

So another sinner employed to help out the hotel or looking for redemption.

For the most part, Husk tends to stay out of the way and observe.

Most of his behavior is obviously cat-like.

Which means he'd keep his distance and watch you... just to see how you behave and what you're planning.

Husk's obsession is slow... gradual.

It's not like other yanderes who feel an immediate spark only for it to grow.

He watches you for a bit... Then slowly talks to you over a drink, then you become close.

His mood can put people off.

He's always drinking, always grumpy, apathetic, and gruff...

Yet he really does like to listen to people and help.

In that case... I can imagine one of your bonding times is opening up over a drink.

Maybe you're anxious about the hotel or some other thing.

The cat's good at listening... soothing your nerves with a drink and advice.

You'd swear he's the hotel's therapist more than the bartender.

However...

A good drink certainly would start a bond between you two.

Observant and empathetic... Husk would care for you once he shows some interest.

It's certainly not romantic immediately to him...

But it is a curiosity.

He's patient with you and often knows if you lie to him.

Which at first is revealed by something innocent... like you trying to hide some problem you have.

Yet that ability can turn sinister later on... like if he feels you're lying to him about something to distance yourself from him.

Husk is said to be sweet and protective of those he likes.

Naturally, as a fellow sinner in the hotel, Husk often keeps track of you.

He looks forward to sharing a drink with you or playing a game of cards.

You don't even have to trauma dump on him, he enjoys your casual conversation in his normally dull day.

He doesn't even realize he enjoys your company so much until someone, maybe Angel, points out he's purring when he sees you.

This would probably occur within a couple months.

You two often chat as you work and get along pretty well.

Better than he thought apparently if he's purring when he sees you.

He can't seem to help it...

You just stir something in him... It's familiar but... it can't be anything serious....

Husk is a subtle yandere for a couple reasons.

One reason is he's in denial of being in love for a long portion of his obsession.

He often tries to rationalize with himself that he just sees you platonically.

That he's just a shoulder to cry on....

Another reason is this... Even after he comes to the conclusion he does love you...

There's Alastor.

Husk's soul is still owned by Alastor, the radio demon is his master.

He can't show his love for you much as he fears Alastor will pick up on it.

The last thing Husk needs is causing you more stress because Alastor needs leverage against him.

Such a thought forces him to keep his obsession over you out of sight.

Both out of shame and fear.

Doesn't stop him from accidentally dropping hints, though.

When you two talk in private, or even in public and he lets his guard down too much, you can hear Husk purring around you.

He denies it the whole time, of course.

When alone, Husk tends to be more affectionate once he accepts he's in love.

However, he excuses it to try not to give himself away.

For example, if you're having a stressful day, he may hug you and start purring.

When you question him, he claims he's just trying to get you comfortable.

After all, did you know a cat's purr supposedly eases the mind?

In reality... He's trying to excuse his urge to touch you... just to keep up his facade.

So you'd just keep venting while he nuzzles into you to "cheer you up".

Apparently....

Husk is limited in his obsession.

Kidnapping and physical isolation would draw too much attention.

Alastor would definitely find out then.

Although... Emotional dependency and social isolation?

He can make that work.

In fact, making his darling dependent on him is core to his yandere tendencies.

It's easy since you already come to him for help anyways.

He wants to be the only one you're vulnerable around.

Husk wants you to seek him out for help, comfort, and company.

Perhaps even love eventually.

Making you dependent on him makes you his... Yet keeps Alastor out of it.

... Hopefully....

Because you vent to him, Husk knows nearly everything about you.

More than you know yourself sometimes.

While such secrets and info would be great blackmail... Husk wouldn't want to ruin your trust.

Instead he uses it to his advantage, a way to gain your favor.

He'd use the info he gained to help you.

He knows what you like, what you hate, what situations make you uncomfortable...

He's always around and ready to tug you out of a situation you hate.

He acts like such a caring friend, he's even protective of you.

Husk may actually leave his post at the bar to follow you and check on you.

He does some stalking but has to make it subtle.

If someone was messing with you or hurting you, Husk is quick to step in.

Considering how he handled those Loan Sharks in the show...

Safe to say you're in mostly good hands.

The only time he'd murder is if your life is in danger.

In that case... Surely you can ignore the blood in his fur?

Not like it's very new to you, though....

Hell's violent... Which is another reason Husk hates you wandering off alone.

While Husk is subtle... I can see him scenting his darling in secret as he nuzzles and purrs.

He may even be into biting you... leaving marks to show you're his...

Yet since he has to be subtle, he reigns in such urges.

Overall, Husk is a subtle protective yet possessive yandere who would make his obsession vulnerable and dependent on him.

This way, you're kept safe and cared for...

All his... even if you don't know it yet.

[coquelicoq]

i think of all the books i've ever read, le père goriot takes the prize for taking the longest to get interesting, as it doesn't happen until the very last sentence. i'm just bopping along for over 400 pages of whatever and then he slaps me in the face with the last sentence and immediately peaces out. okay you got my attention, just in time to throw it away. respect.

[santacoppelia]

Aziraphale's voice - Michael Sheen's voice

I know we all have talked a lot about Michael Sheen's ability to manage microexpressions with his face, but this post is to mark another really interesting character crafting decision: his voice.

I believe that, If you are a hearing person and you watch Good Omens in its original language, identifying Aziraphale's pitch, tone and timbre is really easy. That's because it is slightly higher and more of a dulcet tone than the usual Michael Sheen voice (which usually is more deep and lower).

However, there are three times when Aziraphale uses the "Michael Sheen voice" in season 2 (I'm not sold on having heard it during season 1). All of them are on point for the character and I love the acting choice, so I came here to share:

I have already seen this one discussed, so it goes first: the "Azirapalala- Aziraphale" moment, when correcting Furfur in the e04 minisode. It is made even funnier because we have already seen him being so happily flamboyant... And his voice going lower with the annoyance of correcting his name is precious.

When he vows to protect Gabriel, during the final defense of the bookshop, in e06. “You came to me, I said I would protect you And I will”. His voice shifts as he makes that last point clear, and suddenly his Sheen voice becomes the sign of his commitment to keep his word. He doesn't use that voice when menacing the demons; he goes with a more "Aziraphale tone", while having his face do the "fierce" work.

My personal favorite: during e01, when Crowley comes back after their fight, trying to keep his cool, and Aziraphale is so not having it. He uses his natural register when he says he wants "a proper apology, actually". And he practically keeps that tone until the apology is finished.

@susanwhynow noticed (and I had absolutely MISSED) that when he answers the "Smitten. I believe." he is using his Michael voice. I was fooled by the "You're being silly!" being delivered in a tender, usual Aziraphale manner... But yeah, one of the best lines of these two being sweet is in "Michael tone". Do with this what you want :D

That is quite an acting choice! When a character is built around choices that separate them so clearly from the person who performs them, deciding to use the "natural" repertoire is really meant to make an impact. It is a really subtle voice work, but goes a long way to convey the seriousness of those moments for Aziraphale.

And I brought this here just to present my respects to Michael Sheen for those choices!!

[picturejasper20]

Gravity Falls is a coming of age series at is core about growing up but also mainly about how we grow up.

This is represented through the Pines twins protagonist duo: Dipper and Mabel. These two characters have what could be consider almost opposite approaches when it comes to realizing that they are getting older and their problems and world are changing as well.

For Dipper, we constanly see him trying to rush to adulthood. He usually tries to hide things that could be considered childish or foolish to enjoy such as it is the case of disco girl or going trick and treat with his own sister. ( "Dipper vs. Manliness" and "Summerween"). He often tries to pretend to be older and lie about his age to get the approval of older teenagers, like trying to go to teen parties. ("The Inconveniencing"-"Summerween").

Dipper thinks that he is as mature as a young adult, and in some ways he is, but in other ways this line of thinking makes do very foolish, reckless and even dangerous things- the opposite of being immature. This mainly shows when it comes to his crush on Wendy, someone who is clearly older than him and out of his league. A good part of his arc in Season 1 is about how he tries to impress Wendy without still fully understanding that he is still a kid and he is too young for her.

From what has been touched on the ¨Book of Bill¨, this behaviour may come from Dipper seeing an ugly argument from his parents that he wasn't supposed to listen to and this left a clear impact on him to the point he often has nightmares about it at night. Maybe he came to the conclusion that he has to ¨mature¨ and be more independent since he know there is something bad going on between his parents. However, it takes him time to understand that he can't become an adult overnight and is something is going to take him some years before doing so.

On the other side of the spectrum we have Mabel. In contrast to her brother Dipper, Mabel mostly has her mind occupied with things that have to do more of her age: Reading magazines and books, boy bands, playing with animals like it is the case with Waddles, ect. She isn't in a rush to be a grown up and chooses to live more in the present.

That's not to say that she doesn't have her own moments of insecurities like feeling she isn't as intelligent as Dipper ("Little Dipper") or trying to pretend to be an adult ("Boss Mabel"). Still, she doesn't seem she has this same necessity to hang out with the older teenagers or hide her interests as much as Dipper does. She is has less issus with acting silly or ¨childish¨ in front of others.

Mabel's main problem would be she wants to avoid growing up or remain in this more childhood state. While it doesn't get the same exploration as Dipper- at least not more until later in the show- Mabel is afraid of growing up and the problems that can come with it. In "Summerween" is where we see parts of this idea of wishing to be a child longer, explaining to Dipper that that was the main reason she wanted for the two of them to go treat and trick together.

What really hits Mabel is when she gets this really bad impression of what is like to be a teenager in "Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future". She gets very scared of growing up and what could happen to her. She wants things to remain the same and for the summer to last longer. This desire- along with other factors that made her feel like her world was crashing down around her- she got tricked by Bill possessing Blendin and telling her that he was going to ¨grant¨ her wish in exchange of Stanford's interdimensional rift device.

This makes her being trapped in fantasy world where she ¨never has to grow up¨. Everything is cute and smiles, bad things don't happen and she doesn't have to worry about any serious changes... But she realizes that this world is fake and that at some point she has to grow up and that things can't always stay the same.

Part of me wonders, that in spite of not having seen that terrible argument that Dipper did, Mabel is aware that something is going on with her parents and tries her best to ignore it. I think she may be scared things changing in her family after the summer ends- maybe more fights or one of her parents leaving- this gives some hindsight to some of her issues in the show.

By the end of the show and Dipper and Mabel's character arcs we have two important lessons about growing up: One is that things are constanly changing and growing older is inevitable but we don't have to rush it and maturity comes with time and learning about new things in live. It is important to live in the present while also realizing that there are going to be changes from time to time, from good to bad, but that doesn't mean it will be the end of the world if it happens. That is just part of life.

[10yrratiolover]

giving my thoughts and ideas on Ratio's character stories

I wouldn't call this much of an analysis but we'll see how it goes

Starting out with his first character story, most of it is Professor Rond's recommendation letter.

I'd like to start by sharing my thoughts about Ratio and Rond first before actually getting into dissecting the letter itself.

So, firstly, I'd like to mention that (to my knowledge) we have never heard of or from Ratio's parents. I find that ironic considering what a big shot he is, I doubt that his parents would ever willingly shut up about their son.

Reading that Rond had a 'significant influence on Ratio's upbringing' particularly stands out to me because, at least at the time of the original letter being written, Ratio was in secondary school (Grade 9-12, though some of the wording in the letter lead me to believe he was likely on the lower end of that range).

Now, a high school teacher having a 'significant influence' on someone's upbringing isn't necessarily uncommon, nor are old teachers proud of their past students becoming extremely successful. However these points, alongside the fact that Ratio's parents are nowhere to be seen in canon, lead me to believe that there was some sort of familial relationship between them, especially seeing Rond's reaction to being asked about Ratio as well as how he had kept the original letter.

Moving on to the actual letter.

Grade skipping is a pretty common practice where I'm from, as it allows learning at the appropriate/needed level (ignoring the fact that the school system is in shambles).

However, the way this is phrased is as if Rond were trying to convince him to be able to skip grades. If he were in grade 11 or 12 I feel like it would not have been phrased this way, which is what leads me to believe he was likely younger, possibly fresh out of middle school.

The highlight on creativity is just because it makes me smile honestly, also it ties into one of my earlier posts about how I think Ratio would adore the subject of art.

I would like to return to my point of Rond being a potential parental figure to Ratio, seeing as he seems to know his daily routine well enough to confidently write about it in his letter of recommendation.

On to his second character story, which is mostly online posts in a thread-like format.

It wasn't until his eighth doctoral degree that he was awarded with First Class Honors, also since he is the first person to receive such in two amber eras it means he was likely the only one on stage at that time.

It also states that at the time he was already a prominent figure in society, which doesn't surprise me given the accomplishments listed by Rond in the letter despite him being in high school at the time it was written. However, he would most likely be an adult by the time he finished his eighth doctorate.

No real comment on this I found it funny that they put etc instead of continuing to list fields.

I also just find these funny and wanted to share them, but the disagreement on the last comment shows how much people admire him. I feel like that's a topic that's rather watered down in the fandom, but people genuinely admire Ratio a lot and there's plenty of reason for them to.

full-time university teachers tend to teach about 5 courses per academic year, meaning Ratio has been teaching for about 10 years.

Moving onto the third story, which is a statement from a former assistant of his about his desire to join the genius society.

I find this to be an interesting point, it seems like joining the Genius Society would be an obvious next step for a man with so many accomplishments but it's stated not once, but twice that he has never spoken about the subject (to the public at least).

I am a believer in the theory that Ratio hasn't been allowed into the Genius Society due to his humanity/compassion and his desire to spread knowledge to everyone, and I feel like this specification that he's never spoken about the topic could add to this theory.

This paragraph never fails to break my heart, but I do want to talk about the mention of an anti-planetary weapon. I feel like this Anti-planetary weapon that he spent years perfecting was a final attempt at proving to Nous that he wasn't too compassionate or too humane to receive their gaze. I remember reading about this idea more in detail elsewhere and if I can find the analyzation then I'll link it here.

Also, I feel like deep down he always knew that he wouldn't be accepted into the Genius Society, but this day, as Margaret states, was the day he finally realized it, or, fully swallowed that pill.

I find these comments to be interesting as well since they specify the narrow-mindedness of the society however, there is this comment from the Data Bank;

This comment I admittedly stumbled across when looking for something else, but I feel like it perfectly encapsulates Ratio's entire dilemma with the Genius Society, maybe not to Ratio himself but it certainly applies to everyone who comments on his achievements being worthy of Nous' approval.

I am also quite curious about who exactly wrote the 'Decoding Dr. Ratio' that we have read from in all of his character stories. They seem to have a lot of connections for someone who would typically be seen as just another paparazzi or media interviewer, I'm surprised the people listed in his stories would agree to an interview.

Onto his final story, which is about his personality and methods of sharing knowledge.

I mentioned this comment in my character notes post but I find it extremely charming that Ratio remains the same and refuses to change himself or his personality to satisfy those around him.

It is also commented in his second character story by a previous professor of his that his honesty and straightforwardness were a 'Breath of fresh air' at the University.

I love the implication that either; nobody in the entire room had any questions (unlikely), or that they were simply too scared to ask them.

I also find the comment that 'Whenever someone agrees with me, I feel like I must be wrong.' Perhaps he's gotten used to being the only one thinking the way he is or the possibility that people only agree with him so they sound intelligent themselves and weren't truly listening or understanding.

I find these comments interesting as well, a majority of the fandom mischaracterizes Ratio as mean or rude although he literally explains his viewpoints where anyone can access it (which does honestly prove his point about how knowledge is not for everyone.)

[gay-jesus-probably]

Let me just preface this by saying everyone is allowed to have their own opinions, TOTK is a really fun game, and I'm glad that other people have been able to enjoy the story as well.

...But I'm being dead serious with my complaints about the narrative being 100% imperialist propaganda. And I'm getting really tired of people replying to those posts by saying it can't be imperialist propaganda, because imperialism is bad and the game says that Hyrule is the good guys.

Like, guys. That's not the argument you think it is. Yes, I am aware that the game tells us Ganondorf is a flat, one dimensional character with no ambitions, interests or motivations beyond destroying the entire world for the hell of it, and also it's totally not racist because he's green, not brown like literally every other member of his race. Unfortunately literally all of these things are kind of the entire goddamn problem.

See, the thing is, everyone trying to make these arguments is accepting the game at face value. Hyrule is the perfect and almighty nation chosen by the demigod Zonai, and whose royal family has the right to rule due to their divine heritage. The other races exist to serve the glory of Hyrule, and they're happy to do it. Ganondorf is pure evil and must be stopped at any costs.

But that's not how anything works. The story informing me that Hyrule is the ultimate good that has done nothing wrong is the whole goddamn reason why I don't trust Hyrule at all. There's always more of a reason than that. And the game fucking suggests there was more going on! Ganondorf mentions Rauru has repeatedly 'invited' the Gerudo to become Rauru's subjects, and let's be clear here, it doesn't matter how peaceful those 'invitations' were, when the guy who owns every single magical nuclear missile in the world repeatedly demands you surrender to him, there's always going to be an implied threat of 'do it or get magically nuked'. Just that power difference alone shows us exactly why Ganon would feel threatened enough to invade. It's because Rauru was holding a gun to his head, and Ganon was expected to just trust that he'd never pull the trigger.

And yes, even if it wasn't intentional Hyrule was always threatening to wipe out the other nations, considering the entire royal family walked around openly wearing their magical nukes as cute accessories. If they couldn't be safely hidden away, there wouldn't be four other secret stones sitting untouched in a vault until the last second.

But that's never acknowledged. Of course Hyrule is the only nation with the right to the secret stones; even if other races get to touch them, they can only have them if they swear eternal blind loyalty and servitude to the glory of King Rauru and Princess Zelda. Ganon wanting to have one magical nuclear bomb out of a stockpile of eight of them is proof that he's dangerous and evil. I mean my god, what if he just walked around all day wearing a magical nuke and using its power for his own benefit, that would be terrifying. It's only okay when Hylian royalty does it.

And you can't argue that Ganon betrayed his own people, considering we don't get to know fucking anything about his relationship with his people. He's shows as the leader of the Gerudo, we're told he's a hero to his people, he has soldiers that loyally follow him into battle... and then oh nevermind, they all hate him and will spend eternity trying to atone for sharing a race with him. How did the entire race do a complete 180 in the span of at most a few months? Who cares, what's important is that now they accept they exist to serve Hyrule so they get to be the good guys now and we don't need to know why they were following Ganondorf, or why they stopped following him.

Basically my point is that yeah, I fucking know how the game insists everything went down. That's the entire reason I think it's imperialist propaganda, because the entire story feels like Hylian propaganda to conceal and justify some horrific atrocities that caused all of this. I literally do not believe that I'm getting the story through reliable narrators, especially considering that the only people allowed to actually tell me the story are all the characters that have the most reasons to be heavily biased in favour of Hyrule.

When the game shows me protagonists that have a massive amount of power and control over the entire world, then says the bad guy doesn't like that system just because he's evil, and literally nothing and nobody in the game says anything to oppose that take, I have some questions about what the fuck the story isn't telling me. And I'd really appreciate it if people would stop trying to argue with me just by telling me to stop asking those questions.

[femsolid]

Video games recommendation for women part 2

The same criteria as before: has to have a female lead and little to no misogyny

---

1. Shadow of the Tomb Raider

The seemingly invincible and endlessly talented Lara Croft goes on yet another adventure, this time exploring the Amazon jungle and South American ruins looking for a magical artifact hoping to prevent her enemies, an evil organisation called Trinity, from using it.

Tomb Raider is a franchise that has changed quite a bit over the years. Ever since the reboot, Lara has become a fully fledge character and she doesn't do rock climbing in a skimpy outfit anymore (which made the boys mad, boohoo).

But sadly she still suffers from her reputation of sexy girly indiana jones which I suspect is why women don't seem that interested in her. Shame!

It's not usually the type of games I like (very over the top "blockbustery") but I got hooked the minute I set foot (or rather crashed) in the Peruvian jungle. The game is visually stunning, I loved exploring all the ancient temples, the crypts, the jungle and seeing all the animals. The puzzles were challenging, the fights were fun, it was entertaining, well made, with lots of female characters and it takes place in Peru which is just the cherry on top for me.

The only thing I didn't like was Jonah but then I never liked him. He's Lara's best friend and is pretty much there to be kidnapped and rescued in every game, which is kind of a nice reversed damsel in distress trope I suppose, but still, you're useless Jonah I kept telling my screen.

2. Alien Isolation

In this game you play as Ellen Ripley's daughter who ends up trapped in a gigantic spaceship with a lethal enemy, of course, the infamous alien: the xenomorph.

This game is perfect if you are currently suffering from constipation. It doesn't rely on cheap jumpscares and gore to scare you no, it's all about the ~ambiance~. If you are found, you are dead, simple as. And you will die... A LOT. I got an achievement for dying 50 times. I was laughing hysterically whenever the alien caught me by that point and I think the alien was too.

They say "in space no one can hear you scream" but this alien can hear your footsteps so this makes for some tense gameplay, especially as the alien's AI is very good and you are extremely vulnerable. To survive you will have to be very mindful of the noises you make and the noises the alien makes. Oh yeah, you both crawl through the same ventilation system by the way. This could make for some awkward encounter... On top of having to deal with the alien you will meet androids and humans who aren't exactly friendly either. The goal is, of course, to escape from the ship alive.

I have to give the developpers props for really making us feel like we are in an Alien movie. The music, the ship's design, the alien itself, are all very faithfull to the movies and this game is rightly considered a classic.

3. Spiritfarer

In Spiritfarer you play as Stella (and her cat) who has become the captain of a boat on which she welcomes the spirits of different people who have died. She will accompany them for a while until it's time to cross the bridge and say farewell.

It's worth mentionning, given how rare it is, that the main character is a black girl. Your job is to manage the boat (make improvements to it) and become self-sustainable: you will grow your own food, build houses for each spirit and decorate it, grow trees, collect wood, fish, feed your guests. You can make a mill, a weaving workshop, a sawmill, a kitchen, a garden, etc and arrange it as you please.

Most importantly, you will travel the sea to meet new spirits, learn about their lives and fullfill their last wishes before they are ready to leave us. And then you will cry and cry and cry as the music rises and you give them one last hug.

It's a cosy game, slow paced, lots of dialogues, cute mini-games within it, and at times really funny interactions because it all looks so cute yet the characters act and talk like normal people (they told me to fuck off quite a lot) and they will often get into unprompted anti-capitalist rants. It reminded me of Spirited Away a lot, very strange and comfy at the same time.

It's a story about death, about how each person handles it, what they look back on, and yet it's a very pleasant game.

---

As usual I will add more to the list as I reblog it and, of course, if you want to recommend a game too, you're more than welcome. I've been focusing on games with female leads lately so I'll have a lot more to add.

[ghoulsbounty]

Hii! What's your headcanons about relationship with Otis Driftwood? Nothing too violent towards reader after they became a s/o, if you could, without going into ooc <3

Otis Driftwood In a Relationship

Warnings: smut (18+), control, possessiveness, gaslighting, mentions of sex work (not reader), canon-typical violence, aggression, narcissism, it's otis - he is a warning!

Words: 1.1K

A/N: Thank you for my first Otis request! I've been in love with this man for going on twenty years so I have lots of headcanons for him. I feel like this is realistically (to me) how he would have a relationship with someone who wasn't either a victim or murderer while still keeping him in character (I hope!) Also yes I had to get the quote in the last bullet, I was watching the film as I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌

→ It's widely known that Otis harbours some unconventional interests. In the small town of Ruggsville, the Firefly family's prominence, especially their ties to local celebrity Captain Spaulding, is undeniable. In this backwater community, everyone has their own shades of darkness when it comes to entertainment or survival, so you don't bat an eyelash at the rumours circulating about the family.

 → Otis charms you with his quick wit and sharp tongue, an aura of danger enveloping him and lingering in his presence. He frequents the local watering hole where you work, spending quiet summer evenings regaling you with stories of travelling the country with his younger sister, moving from one stolen car to the next. When you ask why he returned to the dead-end town, he nonchalantly declares that family is the most important thing to him. And then, with a mischievous grin, he casually mentions his involvement in a Satanic cult. 

→ Otis thinks that perhaps what draws him to you is your refusal to flinch at his unsavoury stories or the sly smirk you offer when he alludes to the sweet taste of your skin. He enjoys the recoil from others, welcomes it even because it's what he's known since he was a child and means he's got the upper hand. You give him pause, a dangerous thing indeed. In you, he sees a kindred spirit equally disillusioned with societal norms, and he wonders how long it will take to break you. 

→ With every aspect seemingly covered, there's no obvious place for you in his life. Yet, thoughts of you intrude on his mind during the day, distracting him from his tasks. The persistent idea that you might offer something different to his routine gradually consumes him, eroding all other thoughts until only you remain. 

→ His carnal needs are met by the bottom feeders he keeps around for a quick release. Sometimes, when their pleading becomes bothersome and he wants the peace and quiet, he will end it fast because it's easier when they're cold. He pulls them into his cot and curls into them until they have festered and rotten to the point that Tiny has to dispose of them. If it's a willing body he seeks, a trip to the whorehouse suffices. 

→ It's a few months before you meet the family. Otis doesn't need to tell you the importance of the moment, you can sense it in his tense demeanour, permeating the lounge as Mama parades you around the room like a prize pig at the county fair. You sense his eyes upon you, observing your reactions to each member, particularly noting your response to Tiny's imposing presence and your handling of Grandpa's vulgarity. In his mind, he rationalizes that you'll need a strong stomach if you are going to be with him. 

→ You are under no illusion that you're not the only person from whom Otis seeks comfort. He isn't shy about the fact that he needs more than what you can give him, says as much when he insists on you leaving him be for a few days to exorcise his darker urges. He doesn't approach the subject of you joining him sometimes until he is certain that you won't spring like a scared rabbit. When he finally does ask, you accept with a morbid curiosity.

→ Otis certainly has his private indulgences, but he takes great pleasure in involving you in some of his less solitary activities. Whatever the pursuit may be, it often concludes with him inside of you, his teeth leaving raw marks on your skin as he draws out multiple orgasms from your pliable body.

→ In these moments, he alternates between showering you with praise and delivering sharp, cutting remarks, his rough fingers encircling your throat as he thrusts into you with relentless force, pushing you to the brink of ecstasy until you're cock drunk and screaming his name. He relishes in the intensity of the experience, breaking you down only to rebuild you according to his desires, sculpting you into his perfect masterpiece.

→ Over time, Otis's possessiveness and control puts an end to your employment, your independence dwindling in the face of your need to be with him and his need for your servitude. His affection is conditional upon your compliance and submission, and when you prove yourself to him is when you get your reward of a tender kiss to your nose, or being pulled into his lap for a warm embrace. His love is a privilege to be earned, and he is fast to take it away if he deems you unworthy of it.

→ Otis perceives you as an extension of himself, expecting you to conform to his desires and interests. He finds pleasure in your engagement with his world, he likes when you lounge on his stained mattress in nothing but his shirt listening to his musings on the complexities of human nature. He encourages you to challenge his viewpoints, igniting debates that fuel his passion.

→ However, you soon discover that venturing into this territory can be perilous. It often results in Otis's eyes blazing with fury, his hands trembling with conviction as he towers over you, unleashing a torrent of berating and belittling words until you find yourself on your knees before him. It's a volatile dance of intellectual stimulation intertwined with the raw intensity of his dominance.

→ It falls to you to navigate these moments, gently guide him back to a sense of equilibrium with a steady stream of apologies and affirmations, trail open mouthed kisses down his body until you feel him relax under your touch. Sometimes his tumultuous thoughts wouldn't waver and he'd either take his frustrations out on your cunt or push you away until you are begging at his door. For Otis, isolation becomes a test of your loyalty—will you stay, or run? 

→ And time and again, you choose to stay, receiving no verbal apology afterward because that is Otis' way. However, when he deems fit, he leaves small tokens on the bedside table for you to find in the morning—a small sculpture, a painting—his non-verbal way of acknowledging his feelings about his actions. You know better than to draw attention to these gestures. Instead, you offer a kiss to his lips as a silent acknowledgment of his effort to make amends. His response is typically playful yet affectionate, a light smack on your behind accompanied by an eye roll, never one to dwell on sentimentality.

→ Overall, Otis is content with you, would dare say happy. You fit into his life with ease, don't give him much grief when you're not busy bitching a song about nothing. However, the devil makes work for idle hands, and there's still work to be done in fully acclimating you to his ways. He does love watching you break.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Intouchables and Last Twilight

So, when I was first watching the Last Twilight episode, something was bugging me about the choice of having Day in a wheelchair. Because it was a choice. And as I kept watching it, I kept feeling like I was missing something. My memory is terribly slow with these things, so it wasn't until I went back that I got it. Intouchables. So now, for some context. Intouchables is a french film from 2011 that tells the story of a french rich businessman that, after becoming quadriplegic from a paragliding accident, hires a young black man to be his carer. This is based on a true story. (Yes, there is an american version, but I haven't seen it so I can't speak to it.) If you've never watched this movie, go watch it, cause for sure Aof has watched it.

You can probably already see the parallels just from this small synopses. I'm gonna say too much about the movie, I'm just gonna talk about the similarities so far.

So we got our two main characters. Philippe and Driss. Philippe is our basic older rich white guy, with the palatial mansion and a hundred people servicing his every need. Also he's quadriplegic. Driss is the opposite side of all of this. He is poor, he lives off of unemployment benefits, his house is small and cramped, shared with family. So, Driss needs to look for a job to get the benefits, but he doesn't actually want the job. He just needs to show that he's looking for one. All he needs is a signature. Anyway... So he goes for an interview.

I think you can spot Driss.

While he's waiting for the interview, we see the other man being interviewed.

.

And at some point he's had enough.

.

And he simply bursts into the room.

.

I mean, one is a palatial living room, and the other is basically an office but you the picture. This next part in the film is slightly different in the show, because Driss is not even phased by the vision of the man in the wheelchair. He's much more interested in Magalie, the secretary, but we couldn't have that in our bl.

.

After this, the similarities continue. Because both Driss and Mork don't want the job, but both Philippe and Day are intrigued by this guy that just walked in and that doesn't seem to be interested in the actual job. Also because both Driss and Mork don't really act like what Philippe and Day are used to people acting around them.

[I beg of you. Even if you don't watch the film, just watch the interview bit. Because it's brilliant. Driss is brilliant] So Driss eventually leaves, to return another day for the signed paper. And Mork just leaves. And the next scenes are basically the same, we're shown the circumstances that will eventually lead them both to want the job. There are other parallels between Driss and Mork, and their circumstances and environment, the smoking and the drinking, the fighting... But for now this is it. I'll be re-watching the film this weekend so I might have some other thoughts but I wanted to get this out. I don't know if the show will continue to parallel the film, so I'm not going to say anymore about it. But I'm keeping this is mind for the next episode, because from the previews I have a feeling this is gonna continue. Also, I adore this film and everyone should watch it.

[red-hot-kick]

Theory: Ryuji was popular, before.

I'm not entirely sure if anyone has really talked about this but I maintain my interpretation that, in the canon of Persona 5, Ryuji used to be very (or at least moderately) popular prior to the events of the story.

This is something I've gotten into before when talking to friends who like the game and the character, but I haven't really considered writing it down until now. The main argument I have is based on three things:

Things Ryuji alluded to in canon (but no one believed him on)

The deliberate choice of making him a track athlete

Typecasting for voice actors

1: "There were girls all over me!"

I don't really have the time to go on a deep dive through all the instances in which he hints at his reputation before the Kamoshida incident, but I think the most clear-cut representation of this was during the scene where he and Ann spend the day with Futaba during her post-palace social rehabilitation:

So here's the thing...I don't think he's lying about this. Nobody in the room would be that impressed to find out whether Ryuji was popular since they are already friends (or in Mona's case, he really just doesn't care), so it wouldn't make sense for him to lie.

Regarding everyone's reactions though, here's my impression: Ann was simply not aware of what was going on with the track team, being predominantly focused on dealing with rumors, her friendship with Shiho, and her modeling career (and eventually Kamoshida's advances once he started doing that shit) and she mentions a few times that she and Ryuji weren't actually close before joining the PT; they were just in the same class in middle school. Futaba hasn't interacted with anyone her age in years and isn't the most reliable source when it comes to what people generally find attractive; just because she doesn't have any interest in Ryuji doesn't mean that nobody her age would. And Morgana is a cat that brags constantly about how cool he is, so he shouldn't be throwing rocks.

There are many other times in the game when you get little glimpses of his social savvy, and from my understanding of Royal (I'm an OG vanilla P5 player and haven't done 3rd-semester yet, so don't kill me) when the track team returns to "how it was", he is getting along extremely well with everyone. Not only was he the team's ace: this kid was also expected to become the captain by his senior year (as briefly mentioned when he bumps into his former senpai at the gym, iirc). That's huge! If his team held him in such high regard, then the general student body of Shujin surely had a similar opinion. This brings me to my next point:

2: Girls like boys that run fast(???)

This is honestly something that baffles me. It's also really difficult for me to substantiate; any source material on this is obviously in Japanese and if I could find any of it, I sure as hell can't read it. The only English-language source I know of I cannot find anymore; I think it was an old Tofugu article? However. If you've watched any romance anime set in a high school during the last 20 years, you might have seen this trope at some point: the school sports festival is happening, and the relay race is kind of a huge deal (it's the final event! a make-or-break moment for the class!). The boy thinks to himself "If I win this race, I'll be able to win her heart/ask her out/etc." Low-stakes drama ensues. Maybe a confession happens.

This is (from what I've been told) based on a long-standing trend of girls and women self-reporting in surveys about how, oftentimes, their crushes in junior or senior high school were simply "the boy who ran the fastest in the races". I have no idea what this means in a broader cultural context. It makes no goddamn sense to me at all. Do not cite me on this. But I think it's worth keeping in mind, even if it's almost entirely speculative (and possibly outdated) information. And even if it's just based on rumors, don't you think it's pretty in-character for Ryuji to go for a track scholarship—despite being adept at other sports like baseball and football/soccer, as mentioned in P5 and P5D—because he was aware of the potential of being more popular with girls? Of course, his priority would be getting the scholarship and paying his way through school to lighten his mother's burden, but hey, getting a girlfriend on the way up wouldn't be half bad!

I think this could also inform us as to why Kamoshida (as a predator who wanted attention from high school girls) felt so threatened by the track team in particular, and why he felt a need to specifically knock Ryuji down a peg and sought out a weakness to do so (as opposed to targeting any of the probably just-as-popular boys on the many other athletic teams and clubs in the school). Just some food for thought on this one! Also, if anyone can find a source or has any insight on the relay race thing, please share. I am so confused about it.

3: Typecasting

So this is something that you really only notice if you are very into keeping up with seiyuu in Japan. I am not one of those people. But I do have some favorite voice actors! One of these being Mamoru Miyano.

So I freakin' love this dude. He's voiced a lot of my favorite characters, sings incredibly well, and has an unreal sense of comedy. He's stated in interviews that his acting inspiration is Jim Carrey, and let me tell you: it shows. He is also quite consistently typecast into certain roles, predominantly as princely pretty-boy types, Coolguys, or complete fucking nutcases. Sometimes all three at the same time (shoutout to my boy Ling FMA!)

ATLUS definitely cast him for P5 because of his comedic chops. But I think they also cast him because having him voice someone like Ryuji is a great way to subvert expectations for the player. I think it's supposed to give you whiplash—"what do you mean the voice of LIGHT FUCKING YAGAMI is coming out of this guy's mouth?" "why does the delinquent character sound like king of the host club Tamaki Suou?" "isn't that Rin Matsuoka's voice?" etc. etc. etc.

(here's a quick list, just to really get the idea across. maybe you recognize a few.)

This is obviously a non-comprehensive list, but something that a lot of the characters he's voiced over the years have in common is that they were considered cool, handsome, or popular. Not just for fans, but within the canon of their stories! So...what does that mean? What does that say about how we should see Ryuji?

I think players are supposed to expect that he will fall into one of those categories too, and then be surprised to find that it's not the case—that he's been isolated and made bitter and resigned by what happened to him the year before.

Speaking of his tone, I think it's very telling that Ryuji actually forgets to keep up the delinquent act a lot in the original JP audio, which unfortunately doesn't really carry over in the ENG translation. The delivery of his JP lines sounds a bit more subdued in comparison too—yeah he's got a lot of energy and is very hotheaded, but when he gets to talking about serious shit, he sounds a lot more regretful and melancholy as opposed to the EN delivery which depicts him as more resentful and outwardly angry. I think before Shit Went Down, he probably had the Coolguy vibe. Still a bit of a rowdy idiot and a showoff, but I think he probably came across to most people as a very friendly, sincere, and popular guy.

So yeah, the girls probably were all over him, at least for a short while.

[ceoandslutler]

a short analysis on the theme of kindness in kuro, in defence of the morally reprehensible protagonists. pt2

focused character analysis: ciel phantomhive (ours)

before getting into this, i highly recommend reading my last post which received a great response from @plague-of-insomnia (very much appreciated additions that i will be referring to), i wanted to do a part two to my analysis and i will likely do a post of sebastian too but for now it's ciel who i want to focus on and how he is 'different' to other humans.

firstly i would like to follow up the points i made about the blue memory arc

our ciel wants to open a toy shop because of his own condition of being stuck at home with limited activities, he wants to make indoor toys. his brother says "nobles don't sell toys" and in this chapter it is alluded multiple times that he, as the second son, should have either become a 'vicar' or 'doctor' as they are respectable jobs, unlike being a toy maker/seller. another point is that o!ciel establishes here that he knows he can't be like the other members of the phantomhive bloodline (see: pt1 talking about undertaker's quote "he is unlike his predecessors"). back to the second son point, we already know how frustrating it is to be a second son:

but o!ciel has not once shown himself to be jealous of his brother, nor was he frustrated that he couldn't be earl. in fact he constantly reassures his brother in the blue memory arc that he is like their father and he'll make a great earl. he also makes it clear he does not desire the popularity that comes with being a vicar. (we see the vicar in their land is a manager of affairs with a lot of power/responsibility/direct access to nobility and when seb takes on the vicar disguise, ciel makes it clear that he is a "popular" person, akin to a "celebrity"). roles of religious importance are shown as vain in kuro.

it's interesting because the chapter we see the real vicar rathbone is the same chapter o!ciel says he wants to make toys and r!ciel says nobles don't do that and the murder arc where sebs is disguised as an alternate vicar rathbone is the same arc we find that o!ciel reads working class magazines because the consumers of his toys/funtom products are "common folk", he even reads punch!

..that's it for vicars, those are the only two instances we see them mentioned. the doctors we see are different. we have madame red who became a killer and used her skills to kill prostitutes out of spite (edit: as well as viscount druitt who does have a medical licence and we saw him doing human trafficking although i forgot about him, thank god plague-of-insomnia reminded me lmao) but we have two other doctors characters that are very important.

this nasty piece of work ^^ in the circus arc, very selfish and inhuman, uses VERY unethical methods to create prosthetics, morally bankrupt doctor similar to madame red

this stoker guy who is also a doctor. selfish, doesn't understand what medicine he's even using on people, just generally a egotistical awful guy.

in both these arcs, we see o!ciel show humanity

he's going to the workhouse baron kelvin supported and is going to recommend it to a philanthropist. although there was no workhouse, those children were likely already the doctor's victims.

in the campania, he not only goes back for lizzy, he is very considerate of a servant who not only tried to kill him with his snakes but also doesn't even call him by a formal title (snake called him 'smile' until the end, ciel never took offence to it despite being a noble)

he not only shows this amount of consideration, he also gives up his seat in the boats which plague-of-insomnia mentioned when they rb-ed pt1 of this analysis. i genuinely think the way o!ciel treats snake is extremely perplexing, he is too considerate... perhaps guilt? perhaps the empathy he feels as he too lived a lonely and alienated life as compared to the rest of his family? he felt like his family did not tell him anything and just died/disappeared, leaving him to have to wait for the killers to come back for him just so he can get his self-righteous revenge.

finally i would like to point out a little tidbit, o!ciel generally does not seem to care at all about society's expectations. his relationship with his tenants and servants is abnormally humane. i would also like to point out his confusion at elizabeth's sobbing about being the scary kind of woman he doesn't like (something r!ciel had implied)

this boy has never shown that kind of expression towards femininity or women... even when it sounds like he's being sexist, it's usually a poorly done translation, i don't know japanese well but before anyone pulls this up, i found the japanese raw to check over it myself:

he did not say "ladies don't come in such monstrous heights", he said something more along the lines of "it's impossible/i can't stand to dance with a tall/big lady in this way"(?)

[please correct me if i'm wrong, i don't know japanese well and my forte is indo european languages]

the point of this analysis is not to say ciel is solely "good" or 'pure cinnamon roll uwu' (i would never), but just to say he is capable of humanity... in a story about horrible humans, he as a one of the morally grey main characters is capable of being a force for good. he's also pointed out to be different to others and shown to not contain the same bad aspects of the other pathways he could've gone in life e.g. vain vicar or diabolical doctor. he is at his core, a character who shows humanity and compassion and that is why he is likeable even when he does heinous things. he is more than an innocent baby and more than an evil aristocrat with zero morals. although the head honcho of this story is sebs but i will get into him in another post, he's also a VERY interesting protagonist.

[the-s1lly-corner]

WOoOoOoO SPOOKY SEASON REQUIRES SPOOKY STUFF

Anyways

I would love to request an Child ghost!reader and the gang, basically child reader got murdered when they were using the VR and their soul got stuck into the game.

Their soul being so GORY AND DISTORTED, like an arm is missing, one eye is like hanging out and their head has an hole. Reader can get invisible like a ghost and move things with only their mind, and they are very quiet and just observes, rarely get mad or anything, but when they snap (for example: Because of jax's pranks) they start throwing things around dim the lights and scream, and lets put like, Reader's screams are like LOUD as hell, basically like an ghost tantrum.

So basically Child reader is just an sad messed up lil goof who needs comfort and therapy.

Sorry if its long, i love love love your blog btw!

-🌹

TADC cast x ghost!child!reader (platonic + light found family) !

going to take a different approach to writing this one, since i feel bad about being selective of cast/multi characters today, so! rather than having divided segments like usual, its going to be a group thing! hope thats alright! going to be the last request of this batch them imma make something to eat rq for dinner then get back to writing YAHOO!

when you joined the digital circus, you were already very obviously different from the rest of the gang. even if your gore was toned down thanks to your body being digitized; the programming seemed to struggle with altering your body into something unique... strange... it also seems your body is fighting back against the programming of the world, seemingly trying to restore itself. The effect makes you almost look like you're glitching, or even abstracting

Caine doesnt immediately pick up on your presence, i feel like its in his programming to be aware when a new member joins the circus, but for some reason he didnt notice you until he saw you, or someone brings you up to him

It was Ragatha, who was trying to get answers from him. Who's kid was this? Is it really fair to let a kid be stuck here? Obviously she knew Caine couldnt do anything about it now that you were here, nor did he have any hand in you putting on the headset.

Except... you correct them and say you didn't put on any headset, you were trapped in it.

Of course you're trapped, just like the rest of us, Jax says

None of them immediately believe you try to tell them you're a ghost. Except of course, Kinger, who reasons that that's why you look the way you do; and Gangle, who in my opinion probably finds interest in the supernatural.. or maybe that's just me projecting onto her. Who knows. But the point still stands, almost everyone doesn't believe you.

Not long after, Jax accidentally ropes you into prank that was originally intended for Zooble, I dont think Jax would go as far as to bully a child.... well... actually no, he seems like the type to bully kids on roblox.

The prank wasnt planned for you, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You open a door, and are immediately greeted with a fake snake lunging out at you. You scream, more so out of surprise and fear than anger. It does turn into anger when Jax laughs at you, still finding some kind of joy from the prank getting at least someone. Your scream rises, causing nearly everyone to cover their ears, the rest were not there in the room but would come rushing to see what the hell was going on

I think it would be that instance as well as a few other; namely ones where you became invisible and started removing one of Zooble's limbs after they (unintentionally) said something a little too mean to you. The idea of you being a ghost was further cemented when both Gangle and Ragatha watched you literally phase through a wall. But hey at least someone (Jax) starts laying off of you when it becomes clear you weren't lying

There's mixed feelings, a lot negative. I mean, you're just a kid and you're. Well, a ghost. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that something happened to you. Whether or not you remember the details of your death when you became a ghost, or after joining the digital world, is all up to you

Caine, as mentioned before in posts where the reader is a child, tries to be a father figure. He's not the best, since he's programmed to be a ring master, but he definitely tries his best. I like to think he tries to read you bedtime stories when the digital world simulates 'night'

Pomni, who I totally didn't forget, tries to overcome her fear of you and your ghostly powers, ultimately becoming sympathetic you and your situation. Not only was your life cut short, but you were trapped here too, you didn't even get to roam the world in the afterlife. Interactions with her are awkward but there's an effort to try to bring you some form of comfort

Jax, after he stops pulling jokes on you cant deny that he doesnt find you creepy. I think, though, he would ask you if you want to help him scare some of the other members. Whether you be offended by the concept or not is also up to you, since I'm not sure if you wanted the reader to be sensitive regarding their current predicament or not

Ragatha goes into full big sister mode, even before it's confirmed that you're a ghost. Sure, she's a little put off by your ganky and gorey looks, but her heart aches for you. Similar to Caine she tries to do general child care activities with you, perhaps if you let her, she would do your hair and make you dresses

Kinger will take a while to warm up to you, but I think after some time would start to open up to you, usually it's best to interact with him when he's already in a calmer state. He already gives me dad vibes that I cant pin down... but he would tell you stories of his past (in house) adventures and some funny stuff that has happened over his time in the digital world

Zooble is going to need a moment to get over the invisible dismemberment thing... as well as Zooble being Zooble and needing some time to warm up to people in general... Not much to be said, yet...

Gangle would offer to lend you some art supplies... kids like arts and crafts stuff, right? Thats her logic, at least, and if it means you have an outlet for your emotions then that would be great!

Overall you now have a funky found family, so hey, at least things aren't totally... terrible.. Unfortunately with them stuck in the digital world they can't do much to get you justice, if you let them know you were murdered. But rest assured if your killer somehow gets trapped in there with them and you recognize them, they have your back

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (6)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: threats, angst, mention a toxic relationship ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned.

Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood!

Story Music Playlist

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Never before in her life had she missed a class for any reason other than illness, bad form or some important trip. As it turned out, so had he. They went into a shop to buy something to drink and sat on a bench in a nearby park, watching people walking around.

She felt that he wanted to tell her something, felt that all this was not without reason.

He grunted after a long moment, opening his can of Coke with a loud pssst, he didn't look at her.

"She doesn't want to give me a break. She keeps texting me and calling me even though I don't answer. She's totally fucking out of her mind." He grinned, taking a deep sip of his drink, she heard the hiss of bubbles inside the can. He wasn't looking at her, just ahead.

She wondered what he wanted to hear.

Friendly advice?

"Why did you two break up?" She asked straight out, deciding there was no point in wrapping her mind around it.

He was silent for a long moment.

"Because she was praising me to the skies one time and humiliating me the next. She made fucking shit out of my brain. If it wasn't for Helaena I'd probably still be in it." He muttered, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, watching the passers-by.

She blinked, pressing her lips together, feeling a squeeze in her heart at the thought that he was trying to open up to her, trying to let her understand.

To be honest with her.

"Do you want to see?" He asked suddenly, pulling his phone from the pocket of his black sweatshirt, taking another loud sip from his can in the meantime. She looked at him surprised, unable to believe that he really wanted to show her their private messages.

"I've got some interesting screenshots from a few months back." He muttered, leaning back and moving towards her so that their shoulders touched, showing her his display, scrolling slowly through the next messages with his finger so that she had time to read them.

"She had a habit of deleting messages like that afterwards, so I started saving them to remind myself when I missed her what she really thought of me." He chuckled, locking his phone again, tucking it into his pocket.

She felt her heart pounding hard, felt some kind of discomfort and pain.

"How long did it last?" She asked uncertainly, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He pressed his lips together, taking another deep sip from his can.

She remembered she had her juice and opened the wrapper to take out her straw, then stuck it in the carton and began to drink with a loud slurping sound.

He shrugged his shoulders as if he couldn't believe it himself.

"Two years. I've broken up with her a couple of times, but in all seriousness it was only a month ago. A fresh case." He muttered lowly, sipping the rest of the Coke he had in the can and crumpled it up, tossing it into the dumpster standing next to his bench.

A month ago.

When Aegon organised a house party.

She lowered her gaze, tightening her lips, hesitating to ask him the question that was pressing on her lips.

She decided she had to know.

"Why did you want me to stay in the room with you then?" She asked in a trembling voice and felt him cast her a quick, surprised glance. He grunted loudly, clearly embarrassed by this memory and scratched his cheek, licking his lips.

"I don't know. I…it just felt good with you, you know. So…tenderly." She muttered, tracing his fingers across his forehead, his head tilted, he was unable to look at her.

Tenderly.

"Do you regret it?" She asked in a tired voice, and he gave her a quick glance.

"What? I… fuck. No. It was one of the more pleasant things that's happened to me in recent times. So… innocent. The kind that when I think back on it, it makes my heart warmer." He confessed with shame, and she lowered her gaze, looking down at her blue orange juice carton, fiddling with it in her hands.

"I don't regret it either."

They said nothing more.

They went back to school for the last few hours and pretended nothing had happened. Driving home from school they listened to music together again on her earphones, sitting with their eyes closed. She saw his display light up from time to time, that his ex-girlfriend kept sending him new messages, desperate. He didn't even read them.

She asked him why he didn't just block her number, but he said he had done that before and then she simply buys a new card. According to her, he was just upset with her and was teasing her, pretending to be interested in someone else to make her jealous because she couldn't imagine that it was possible to stop loving her.

She thought with regret that she had found herself an easy target, a high school student, quiet and closed off, with complexes, who would never share with anyone else what harm she was doing to him and how she was slowly destroying his self-esteem, manipulating him and making him dependent on her.

They said their goodbyes and parted ways to their homes, however, she felt that something had snapped between them and even though she continued to feel uncomfortable and sad, she thought that this time he really took it seriously, that he really wanted to try.

Whatever that meant.

She recognised that they both needed a lot of space and that what they had now suited her.

She didn't hide her surprise when he called her in the evening when she was already lying in bed, preparing for a maths test. She answered with her heart beating hard, wondering what it could have been about, whether he wanted to wish her goodnight.

"She was recording us." He said as soon as she picked up, not even giving her a chance to say hello, despair in his voice, she felt like he was almost crying. She swallowed loudly, feeling a tightness in her throat.

"What do you mean?" She asked, lifting herself up on the bed to sit down, concerned.

"How do we…how do we…I…you know. God." He mumbled in a breaking voice and drew in the air loudly, breathing unevenly. "She's threatening to send this to the school principal if I don't come back to her. To our friends. She sent me one video to show me she's not bluffing. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

She pressed her lips together feeling the cold sweat on the back of her neck, her heart pounding like crazy, the seriousness and awfulness of this situation hitting her so hard that she didn't know what to say, what to do.

Of course he couldn't tell his parents or siblings about it.

"I… God, do you want to meet? M-maybe, maybe we can work something out." She mumbled with difficulty, not knowing what else to suggest, how to help him.

"Yes… yes, if you can, please, I can't stand being at home now."

She quickly dressed a warm sweatshirt over her pyjamas and told her parents that she would go out to talk to Helaena for a while.

She left her house and ran across the street with her trainers on her feet, he was standing far from his house, she saw to her shock that he was smoking a cigarette, his one leg moving in a nervous tic.

He was terrified.

She approached him and he threw her a quick, heartbroken look. He chuckled under his breath, rubbing the tip of his nose with the back of his hand.

"I know what you're thinking. I got what I deserved." He muttered in a trembling, low voice, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"What are you babbling about? Don't you have something on her? I don't know, can't you send her the screenshots you have, the ones where she humiliates you and say you'll send them to her friends too? Don't you have any naked pictures of her that you can scare her with?" She asked, speaking quickly, thinking intensely about what solutions he had. He shook his head.

"I deleted everything a month ago, I didn't want to go back to it, and she herself deleted everything from our chats that might be saved somewhere on the internet. Like she fucking planned it." He grinned under his breath in despair and took a drag on his cigarette looking sideways, his eyebrows arched in anguish, despair and regret, a single tear running down his cheek.

"A cyclops and a pervert. Fuck, that's what I needed. Why did I get involved in this." He uttered in a breaking voice, running his free hand over his face, all red.

She walked over to him and stroked his shoulder, looking at him with distress mixed with understanding.

"Come here." She said softly, and he sank into her arms as if without strength, snuggling his face into her neck, embracing her loosely, and cried aloud, her hands stroking his hair and back with tenderness.

"It's not your fault. You trusted her and she took advantage of you. What she's doing now is monstrous and she has no right to do it. You are not to blame." She said and kissed the side of his head softly, his free hand clamped down on her blouse, she felt that her neck was all wet from his tears.

"I'm so fucking scared. I'm frightened that my parents will see this." He whimpered like a small child with a shuddering breath, and she hugged him tighter, trying to embrace his large figure, to give him the shelter in her arms he so desperately needed.

Her heart was breaking.

"I know, I'm with you. We'll figure something out in a moment." She whispered, stroking his head and back reassuringly and felt his lips place a gentle kiss on the skin of her neck. She felt a warmth in her lower abdomen and a pleasant tickle between her thighs.

They stood like that for a moment until he calmed down, and then they sat on the pavement, their knees and shoulders touching. She slapped her hand on his thigh, getting a sudden idea.

"I know! Write her that if she sends this out, you will report with the same video to the rector of her university that she forced you to have sex before you were of the age of consent. You can go to jail for that!"

He looked at her shocked, tightening his lips, thinking strenuously, hesitant, terrified and uncertain.

"But…it's not true."

"How does it matter? She threatens you, so you threaten her! Clearly there is a big age difference between you, what she was doing was just plain grooming. Knowing that you were in high school when she videotaped it and on top of that you were younger than you are now, the police would certainly have taken an interest. Maybe you would have lost your dignity, but she has a lot more to lose. This will make her loathe sending anything anywhere!" She said with conviction, saw him lick his dry lips with his tongue, that he was increasingly convinced of her idea.

"Okay. Then what should I write her?"

She sat next to him looking at the screen of his phone telling him aloud what she thought he should write to sound as confident as possible, when they finished he swallowed loudly and clicked 'send'. They saw that she had read the message immediately and saw surprised as a wave of messages started to come in from her.

They looked at it in silence breathing loudly. She heard him swallow with difficulty, tense.

"Do you think she'll send it?" He asked in a trembling voice.

"No. She is shitting herself with fear."

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[honeycreammilkshake]

"Overall, I definitely agree with you. Gege has shown investment in Sukuna as a character, and I'm hoping he doesn't give in to fan influence to abandon the progress he's made so far. "

After last chapter giving sukuna haters funny faces that look like those edits his haters make, I'm not that hopeful anymore. Giving Sukuna an awful and humiliating death to please THAT fandom sounds really disappointing from Gege, at the very least defend Sukuna since you obviously like him, have some PRIDE, show him smiling at yuji and admitting he grew.

Meanwhile Kenjaku who cut Yuki in half as well apparently deserved a comfy fight and good ending while his sins may be even greater than Sukuna lmao. Sorry I'm just pissed, I don't want fan pressure to ruin Sukuna and Yuji forever

Hi, anon!

Yeah, Sukuna definitely has a lot of haters in this fandom, despite the fact he is arguably not the worst character in JJK. He's also one of the most dynamic and fascinating of the villains, and most of that is because of his complex relationship with Yuuji.

So far, we've seen so many interesting things that really highlight how contradicting Sukuna is as a character and that also show how much influence Yuuji has over him versus pretty much everyone else. Even if Gege decides to not doing anything with all these developments, it still doesn't change the fact that they are undeniably there.

One of the most compelling developments so far, to me, has been Sukuna's willingness to listen to Yuuji, even if he claims to despise the brat's ideals and wants to break them.

After their fight in 237-238, Kashimo asks Sukuna if it's lonely being the strongest. Sukuna's concept of love is similar to competition: By being the strongest, other sorcerers admire him for that strength and come to challenge him; Sukuna responds to that "love" by vanquishing them all. He lectures that people like Gojo and Kashimo, who lament the loneliness that comes as an effect of this singular strength, are greedy. Yet when asked if he himself was satisfied with being the strongest, Sukuna doesn't even acknowledge the question. He has no good answer for why he split his soul and became cursed objects that could "cross the ages." Instead, he replies to Kashimo's question by saying love has no worth or meaning.

If his vague non-answer wasn't suspicious enough, he goes on further by trying to justify his philosophy as "a perfect way to pass time until death."

The biggest thing I want to point out is how absolutely childish Sukuna's philosophy is. It's literally just indulging himself how ever he wishes, doing as he pleases, all to pass the time. Because he is the strongest, he claims to be above weak feelings like love or loneliness, but if his lifestyle was so great... why escape it by becoming a set of cursed objects in order to awaken in the future?

(Sukuna: No comment.)

He himself describes indulging in humans as "fleeting." Even if there are in fact endless flavors for him to try, none of them last, so nothing can be savored, nothing can be remembered, and nothing can truly satisfy if it's all so passing and worthless. Even him saying it's a way for him to "pass time until death" sounds so hopeless and unfulfilling.

It's seems like to me that by becoming the strongest, he's completely lost touch with how senseless his actions are. What happens when he runs out of humans to eat, or when he runs out of lands and challengers to conquer? If he's truly convinced his self-absorbed, depraved philosophy is the ideal way he should use his strength, then how come so many of the people he meets are convinced he's lonely?

And also why does someone like him elicit Yuuji's pity? Why is Yuuji the only one who really seems to get to him?

During their fight in chapter 248, Sukuna completely shuts down and starts obsessing over why Yuuji bothers him so much. Whenever literally anyone else questions Sukuna's philosophy or his motives, he disregards and mocks them for it. Yet when it's Yuuji, he's on the defensive. Yuuji really is making him reconsider things, and he can't stand it.

(btw yes that's a literal pout he's doing right here)

When Yuuji confronts him, Sukuna has a full-out melt-down. He's literally staring into space, completely losing track of everything else that's going on. Unlike anyone else who ever questions Sukuna, Yuuji is the only one who's actually making Sukuna think for once.

When reflecting on all the other people whose ideals Sukuna was so dismissive and dispassionate about, even the King of Curses himself admits that with Yuuji it's ~different~

Okay so... I guess Yuuji being in your way wasn't good enough reason to want to him gone? No, it's his ideals and resilience that bothers you that much. Why is that? Could it be that he's gotten too far under your skin, far enough to touch your non-existent heart?

Yeah right....

Also, this relates to how Yuuji is the only one who can come close to shattering Sukuna's hard-set ways. While there have been quite a few who wanted to teach Sukuna how to "love," they went about this in a way that's much closer to the definition of competition than what is actual love, much like how Sukuna sees it.

Yorozu became completely obsessed with Sukuna because to her his loneliness was "singular." When she is reincarnated, she believes she is the one who can teach Sukuna what "true love" is.

Back in chapter 218, their confrontation is so much less complex than Yuuji and Sukuna's. Sukuna dismisses her so easily and hardly reflects on it. Her "love" is weak to him. Though she is powerful, she cannot hope to contend with the level of Yuuji's determination and dedication to his ideals.

Likewise, Gojo was also convinced Sukuna was affected by the same loneliness he was. He claims that he will be the one to teach Sukuna love because he's the closest - some people say equal - one can come to Sukuna's level of power.

Sukuna, however, is not terribly moved by this. Though he has respect for Gojo's strength and says he will remember their fight forever, he is still nowhere close to being shaken... not like he is with Yuuji.

So what makes Yuuji's approach to teaching Sukuna love so different? It's because he's so much weaker in terms of power compared to any of the others Sukuna was confronted by. He comes from an entirely different perspective that no one else has gotten close enough to Sukuna to share. And because of this, he's not making it a competition. He's being empathetic about it instead.

The whole of chapter 265 is basically Sukuna actually listening to Yuuji. It's so interesting because there is absolutely no fighting going on. Usually when someone confronts Sukuna, they do so right before, after, or during a battle with him. But in this case, it's peaceful. It's completely different than any other time someone has tried to "connect" with the King of Curses.

Yuuji's approach to connect with Sukuna is to tell him his life story and show him all the places he grew up in. It's extremely casual, close, and intimate. In response all Sukuna can say to this is -

The way he suddenly interrupts Yuuji, when before he was uncharacteristically quiet for most of the time and willing to go along with it, is very telling. He described this kind of intimacy as "creepy" to him ... which is an interesting choice of words. The mythic, immortal, all-powerful King of Curses is "creeped out" by a little oversharing and walking through Yuuji's unthreatening memories? Really?

And what's even more interesting is Yuuji's way of destroying Sukuna's world view so simply.

He's essentially telling Sukuna that his philosophy is useless.

Sukuna believes in this rigid hierarchy where only the strong can rule, and only the most selfish and heartless of the strong can sit atop that hierarchy. But what Yuuji is telling him is that... there are no set roles humans are born with. Lives aren't worthless and aren't defined by whatever "roles" they are forced into. Which means that a caste system built entirely on the "strengths" of people is about as stable as Sukuna's sanity.

Yuuji has tremendous empathy throughout this whole scene. Instead of asserting that his viewpoints are the only ones that are right, he instead admits that maybe he could be wrong... which is far different from Sukuna, who wouldn't dare admit he could be wrong.

And the way Sukuna pauses before he says he doesn't feel anything about what Yuuji is saying and showing him makes me think he's lying or downplaying how much Yuuji is affecting him.

Although some fans might argue that the purpose of this scene was to show how irredeemably heartless Sukuna is, I just can't accept that there isn't so much more going on here than that.

So... to make a too long meta short: Whatever ending Sukuna and Yuuji get, it can't take away these amazing interactions between them that defy all the expectations we had for a "static" villain like Sukuna and a "useless" hero like Yuuji.

They will forever be one the most interesting, complex, and fascinating relationships in manga to me, and I'd sell my soul for them to get the ending they deserve.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the mess of this post ;-;

[tree1138]

Astarion Contradictions and Breakups

Major spoilers for Astarion’s personal quest, The Dark Urge questline, and game endings. 

When I was trying out different paths for how Astarion reacts to the Dark Urge questline something that stood out to me was the wide difference in responses Astarion has, as well as the way he contradicts himself. This essay started as a way of trying to explain “why does Ascendant Astarion tell you to take over the world when he immediately becomes a thrall” from a Watsonian (in-universe explanation) vs a Doylist (out-of-universe explanation) and wound up being a focused on; why does Ascendant!Astarion react so differently to when you break up? 

There are 4 opportunities to break up with Ascendant!Astarion; 1) refuse to become his thrall immediately after the ritual you breakup and have a follow up conversation the next morning, 2) become his thrall and break up with him whenever before killing the Eldar brain, 3) break up with him on the dockside convo at the beginning of the ending, 4) in the last scene with him say you want to break up at which point he doesn’t let you: “You're mine remember? The tadpole is gone, which means your future is mine to decide. How lucky you are that I chose you as my consort. Chose you to help me take Baldur’s gate, then sit by my side as I rule it. There’s no backing out now - we’ll be together forever. I can promise you that…”.  

Comparing breakup conversations with Spawn!Astarion after killing Cazador, Ascendant!Astarion responds with so much more spitefulness and defensive anger across the board, even at Spawn!Astarions most angry (breaking up with him in the literal last conversation) it doesn't match the anger and cruelty in senario 1. To me it reads as him wanting to make the player character just as hurt and upset as he is after a very emotional day and the lines get really nasty:

He then won’t say anything but “why the hells are you bothering me now” until you do 3 long rests which stands out considering if you break up in any other non ending scenario he’ll talk to you pleasantly afterwards. 

That conversation days afterwards is really interesting where his “goal” is to get you to agree to be partners in crime together, and in doing so is the most honest he gets about how a romantic relationship would have been unhealthy:

In regards to love It's really interesting what Astarion will say about love during the conversation where he asks you to become his spawn:

If the pc expresses insecurity about being a spawn he’ll reassure them and say he loves them, in a way that deliberately parallels his Act 1 seduction conversation down to the way that he starts with a degrading pet-name “what can I do for my dearest pet” vs “here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed”.

Just like the seduction scene he wants the pc on his side and attached to him, but if you push back on him during this conversation its clear he no longer believes in love just power exchanges:

If the player stays together with Ascendant!Astarion a dialogue option is that he’s seem distant since the ritual, and he’ll imply it's due to his new powers but he does that looking to the up and right that others have mentioned he does when he lies. What makes more sense and is better character writings is the Watsonian answer of: killing all your siblings and 7,000 others (including people Astarion regretted victimizing and then had to look in the eye and condemn to death) will fuck a person up. He knows his hands are bloody so he has to believe he got everything he wanted, and he did really want this because if you leave it up to him he will chose to do the ritual vs just killing Cazador.  

I think Astarion has to believe he is better (which in his view means more powerful) than his past self as part of believing the sacrifice was worth it. In scenario 2 he’ll say this if you bring up his past self:

What’s a lot more interesting is if you bring up his past self in the morning after conversation of scenario 1 he’s genuinely shocked and caught off guard:

What I found interesting was Astarion talks in the same way about how the ritual was worth it and the cool new powers he’ll totally get as he does advocating for endings that are bad for him. If you become the Absolute leader Astarion becomes a thrall just like all the other companions whether you do it on your own or in Bhaal’s name. For all his talk about Bhaal’s army being “an unsurpassable dowry” and how he’ll command it, he can’t do jack shit if the player defies Bhaal and then either kills themselves or becomes fully possessed by Bhaal.The Doylist answer is Larian games just have a very limited amount of endings and the characters are forever stuck at lvl 12 , the more interesting Watsonian answer is Astarian is lying/exaggerating out of ignorance or because he really doesn’t have a clue of what to do next and is trying to cover for that.

The whole ritual plotline is very obviously Astarion continuing the cycle of abuse vs helping others, the abuse Cazador inflicted was akin to the abuse he suffered from Vellioth, down to Astarion commenting that Cazador’s rules came from Vellioth. It's also clear that Ascendant!Astarion has processed none of his trauma re: Cazador, after the ritual he says “I will not think about him. I don’t want to even say his name” and he shouts at you to be silent if you mention Cazador when you break up in scenario 2. I personally think Astarion sees you staying with him as a spawn degrading because he was degraded and abused when he was a spawn based on a line he has if the pc is cursed to go mad with The Dark Urge, where he relates too much to the character.

I think the DnD rules of absolute morality that vampires are extremely evil is a boring answer to why Ascendant!Astarion becomes possessive and controlling, especially since Larian has pushed against that theme throughout the game. Yes Astarion has an Act 1 line about how vampires don't turn spawn into full vampires because they don't share power, in my opinion that line falls flat when considering will have kind and supportive dialogue to the player in a number of other Act 3 quests. Whether the its the Watsonian answer that Larian wasn’t going to rewrite large chunks of dialogue when there are Act 3 quests with no companion reactions or the Doylist answer that he is just extremely possessive and has attachment issues about the threat of you leaving him is an interesting dilemma.

In regards to scenario 4 it's a fucking huge contrast to Astarion's whole character arc about learning to trust and being around someone who respects his boundaries and consent, where here doesn't respect the player's boundaries or consent. It's such a contrast to scenario 3 that happens right before it where Astarion says "We have served our respective purposes, we're free to go wherever we wish" and doesn't mind you breaking up with him as if your relationship was a strategic alliance. It's also the clearest contrast from his pre-ritual dialogue of "we're a team. If I become all powerful, then we become all powerful" because he's taken away all power from the player. The Ascendant romance is not subtle with most of the romance specific dialogue being themed around an extremely toxic D/s relationship where the Narrator explicitly says he���ll see you as degrading himself by being with him as a spawn which feels like it was added to remove any ambiguity about what Astarion feels.  From the way he says “on your knees” before he turns the player character, the way he calls you “bad boy/girl” if you fail the check to see his thoughts, and that infamous line about sitting naked on his lap.

Between the heavy message of power corrupts and how the rest of his ending dialogue is about how his evil future plans will be so fun, it's a clear callback to an act 1 conversation:

tldr: I don't think that corruption is as fun or as freeing as you thought Astarion, but he doesn't have to confront that fact if you're "lovers forever, until the world falls down"

[clawbehavior]

we're five episodes into Shogun, which means we're halfway through the series and all the major plotlines have been introduced and the characters characterized. and i'm starting to notice things. 

namely, toranaga is becoming increasingly unlikeable. it started when he abandoned blackthorne to die after being saved by the man hours earlier, but it reached its peak with the return of the young heir's mother and the reveal that she's using the council against toranaga to protect her son. because then what is toranaga going to war for? we were told via the dead king's widow that toranaga needs to protect the young heir against the council, but clearly that's not true. so what's he doing? it bothered me that toranaga could be so kind to the young heir, playing with him and advising him, while neglecting his own son, whose insecurity around his father was so transparent that he was easily manipulated into starting a war. but then i wondered if toranaga was showing his true self (his third heart) to his son. that scene where he says "you categorize everyone as enemies and friends when you only have yourself" implies that he sees everyone as a potential enemy, which can only happen if his self-interests are at odds with everyone else's. seeing the end of episode five, i think toranaga is not what he seems. we know he can be duplicitous. he plays uncle and nephew against each other so easily, getting rid of the problem of their growing power by doing so. i think the falcon motif that's ever present in the show represents toranaga, flying against the sun so his prey can't see him until it's too late (episode one). he's fooling everyone, including his allies, which brings me to my next point. 

mariko's story is not going to end well. i didn't know why this was a limited series with no chance of a season two until we got her backstory. mariko is straight up suicidal, just looking for a purposeful/honorable way to do it. if blackthorne can see this within days of meeting her, across a huge cultural divide and despite language differences, then toranaga has clocked this about her too, which doesn't bode well for her life. the mariko-blackthorne-husband love triangle subplot serves a deeper function of revealing her psyche to us.  she can't let go of her feelings of injustice and dishonor from her family's deaths. (the flashback we get of her past shows her father's haunted expression because that's how she remembers the event, with horror rather than disgust for his actions.) this is why she tells blackthorne the truth about her family when ordered to by her husband, even though blackthorne tells her to lie and tell him something else because her husband won't know. mariko can't let go of what happened to her family (and her husband doesn't let her). she's been spiritually dead for ages and the return of her husband from the dead not only means she cheated, which someone with her honor code can't live with, it means she cannot be happy with blackthorne. her tragic past coupled with her strong feelings towards honor/dishonor makes her easy for toranaga to use, though it's unclear for what.

interestingly, mariko and blackthornes' opposing ideologies are why they survived and found each other. mariko resists quietly, inside her soul (the eightfold fence), turning to her Christian faith and becoming devout and learned in Portuguese to speak with the priests. this is how she ends up as blackthorne's translator, a position of power and later romance. blackthorne, in contrast, resists outwardly and every step of the way. that scene where toranaga tells him to give up because he's outnumbered and blackthorne replies "unless i win" captures his character perfectly. he's going to fight until the last second, which is why he survives the journey to Japan, and why he gets separated from his men and integrated into a foreign culture, and why he steers the ship to safety rather than being left behind to die. that stubbornness to live shows up as a tendency for breaking all the rules, the result of which is meeting mariko and unintentionally getting her to fall in love with him. it's so fascinating how their ideologies have set them apart from their own people and brought them together while indicating their incompatibility. 

the show does a good job of layering characters and keeping them consistent, so i have faith that they'll return to yabushige's scary character. him torturing a sailor to death in pursuit of an existential question in a way so barbaric that it scares even the villagers did an excellent job in setting the tone of the show in episode one and setting the show apart from other historic period dramas. so it's disappointing to see him turn into a conniving goofball. hopefully this is a short term thing. 

i haven't been so intrigued by the political machinations within a show in a long while, probably since GoT. can't wait to see how the rest of it plays out 

gif below courtesy of @yocalio. look at toranaga's face shadowed in the sunlight. we don't fully know him.