#the priority for a child should be keeping them in their home or close community …

[mymistakewriting]

Ravi Panikkar Headcanons

Hi, this is just a general notice before I get into these that I do touch on sensitive topics with Ravi's headcanons. He's got cancer in his history, and I know that's a rough topic for a lot of people. If you'd rather skip this post due to that, please do so, as your mental health should absolutely take priority.

While Ravi isn't one I have a lot of headcanons for at the current time, I've found myself focusing in on him a lot more lately, so I may do another post in the future with more, who knows? For now, have what I do have for him.

Ravi has a close relationship with his parents. Minimum once a week calls home, as well as regular trips to see them.

Desite this close relationship, I do not think his parents approve of him being a firefighter.

His dad took him birdwatching a lot as a kid, though it did trail off some when he got sick. They've resumed that tradition now that Ravi is grown, though.

due to the birdwatching hobby, Ravi can identify birds pretty easily by sound alone. He's not 100% accurate, but he's pretty good at it.

Ravi's got a twitter account where he just shares stupid shit his coworkers say and do without dropping any names. This goes for all 3 shifts at the 118, not just the a-shift, as he HAS worked with the other shifts.

He can't multitask. If he has more than two things calling his attention at a time, he will have a minor mental breakdown over it.

Attended far more funerals than he ever wanted to before he hit the age of 18. Some of it was his own family (cousins, grandparents and the like) but most of it was friends he'd made as a child or their family members. He doesn't like to let people get close after that.

still has the scar from his chemo port. While he's not ashamed of it, sometimes he gets a little anxious about changing in front of people because of it if they don't already know. He doesn't want to answer questions about it. Ever.

He does consistently go to therapy, unlike the rest of the 118. He's had the same therapist since he was a kid.

Knows how to sew! He isn't great at most of it, but he can hem clothes and repair things just fine. One of the nurses taught him when he was a kid because his favorite stuffed animal ended up losing an ear during one of his chemo appointments and he was devastated about it.

Social cues are a little messy for Ravi sometimes. He missed some major developmental milestones as far as communication goes because he was sick, so sometimes his reactions seem wildly out of pocket.

LOVES naps. If there's ever downtime on a shift, you can find Ravi curled up in an armchair napping. He'll say he isn't tired. He just wants to nap.

He really likes to bake! He is not good at it, even with a recipe, so he needs supervision at all times for it.

Despite being terrible at baking, it's a pretty good cook. Master at throwing things together at random and getting something delicious.

while it isn't as frequent now that he's older, Ravi had a lot of panic attacks as a kid. (He used to be terrified of needles). So he knows a lot of tricks for panic attacks.

he runs cold and thus always has a jacket on hand. He also carries hand warmers in his work bag at all times.

cuts his own hair! He trusts no one with his hair, thanks.

HATES getting sick. He has a full on mental breakdown every time he ends up sick. Spends like two hours curled up on the bathroom floor crying if he throws up, even if it's just from a hangover.

Half of his freezer at home is just popsicles. Some homemade, most not. But he stays hydrated thanks to it, so it's fine.

Favorite cookie: snickerdoodle, followed closely by double chocolate chip

Doesn't typically drink sodas but LOVES lemonades (his favorite is blueberry lemonade)

he's a plain chip person but only because he keeps a million types of dips on hand.

most common snack to find in his house is pretzels and cream cheese or hummus

He's a strawberry ice cream person, for sure.

Despite being a bottomless pit where food is concerned normally, he won't eat if he's nervous or upset.

if you put him in a situation that makes him nervous, he talks. Will he remember anything he said? Absolutely not. But he's a certified yapper regardless.

His expressions tend to either be pretty flat or entirely confused if he's overwhelmed, and most of it is just that his brain is lagging and it's causing him issues understanding what's going on around him.

That said, his expressions are loud typically. Face does not have an inside voice. You'll know if he's upset fast.

Cracks his fingers when he gets nervous. His mom hates it, but he's never been able to kick the habit.

He makes weird faces when he's genuinely upset. A lot of it is in an effort to not cry, the other part of it is that he tends to chew on his cheeks - you can't do that without making weird faces.

Takes cold and flu meds pre-emptively when he starts feeling an itch in his throat.

Honeyed tea and soup, his mom's recipes are pinned to the fridge. Again, makes them in bulk if he so much as sneezes.

he's a health nut after having cancer, hates being sick. His goal is to sleep through it and try to cut down on how long he's sick.

hoodies and sweats and blanket piles are a must when he's sick! He stays cold anyway, he shakes the entire time he's sick, especially while feverish.

[phylliscyst]

Newcrest Fresh Start - Weeks 17 and 18

As Spring rolls in we're back to check on the Green Family; David, Emily, Maria and Tristram, as they establish Newcrest's community farm.

When we last checked in on the Greens they had made some amazing progress with growing produce and selling canned and fizzed goods on their market stand. They also managed to build a shell for their new farmhouse.

The only thing keeping the farm from registering as an official Newcrest business is some livestock; then residents will be able to buy fresh produce to cook with instead of growing and fishing their own food.

The family makes it their priority to get get some chickens as soon as they can afford it. As an animal enthusiast, David is very excited to add some animals to the farm and smother them with love.

With spring bringing in a bounty of crops, it only takes a couple of days to be able to afford a hutch a few chickens. They soon add a beehive and a couple of insect farms for honey and managing compost. As a recycle disciple Tristram is really happy they have a way of reducing waste; they can even have composting toilets!

Meanwhile Emily builds herself some planters for their sun room/ greenhouse so they can enjoy fruit and tomatoes all year round.

The addition of chickens means that the family can officially register their farm as a business with the Sims Municipal Committee and can finally order some flour and sugar to diversify their diets. Once the hens start laying eggs David finds great satisfaction in sitting down to enjoy a delicious farm produced meal at the table and chairs he crafted himself. It doesn't hurt that his Mother in Law Maria is a fantastic cook.

The family also find time during spring for some practical parent/ child bonding and by the end of Spring have mostly furnished their home so they can enjoy a few home comforts. They quickly agree that Emily should stick to gardening and leave the cooking to Maria and David. She's far too clumsy.

As Summer rolls in the family add a cow and a few mini sheep to their stock. David is thrilled about all the new animals to hug and play with, whilst Maria is more excited to try her hand at cheese making.

David may love getting up close and personal with the animals but Emily is unsure about all the chickens and sheep in her new home. Luckily the family have started building some more outdoor spaces so it won't be long until they can add a barn/ workshop.

It's not all plain sailing though; the family has a narrow escape from a burglar and Tristram's mood swings mean he neglects his recycling chores. David has to spend a few hours cleaning up and tackling fly and roach infestations.

The end of summer also brings several days of storms, making the need for a barn even more pressing. Luckily a few sunny breaks in the weather mean they can open their market stall and by Saturday David can show the sheep their cosy new barn.

With the animals safely out of the storm and all urgent tasks taken care of the Green family, who all love the outdoors, find themselves struggling with being cooped up inside. Sitting reading a book may be fine for an hour a two but soon becomes very boring.

Time to distract themselves with upgrading a few household items and helping Tristram catch up with schoolwork.

Although the weather is horrible, we leave the Green's in a great place. The farm is built and they have everything they need to live and work comfortably.

As well as a modest three bedroom farm house they have built an outdoor toilet block and kitchen, a workshop, barn and a sheltered spot for recycling. Once the Art Centre opens they will be able to buy decorations and make the space even more homely.

Most importantly the farm is officially open and other Newcrest residents can finally enjoy a varied diet.

[curioboat01]

Sports Classes in Delhi: A Path to Active and Healthy Living for Kids

Delhi, the bustling heart of India, is a city that never sleeps. Amid its vibrant culture and fast-paced life, ensuring that children grow up with the right balance of education and fitness has become a priority for many parents. One of the most effective ways to achieve this balance is by enrolling children in sports classes in Delhi. These classes not only promote physical health but also instill discipline, teamwork, and confidence.

In this blog, we'll dive into the benefits of sports classes in Delhi for kids, explore the variety of options available, and guide you in choosing the best class for your child.

Why Sports Classes Are Crucial for Kids

1. Physical Health and Fitness

In a world dominated by screens, ensuring kids stay active is more critical than ever. Sports classes help children develop strength, stamina, and agility. Activities like running, swimming, or playing cricket improve cardiovascular health and build strong muscles.

2. Mental Well-Being

Physical activity is directly linked to better mental health. Sports classes encourage children to focus, set goals, and challenge themselves, which reduces stress and boosts self-esteem.

3. Skill Development

Sports classes teach valuable life skills like teamwork, leadership, and time management. Whether it’s learning to work with a team in basketball or practicing discipline in martial arts, these skills prepare children for future challenges.

4. Social Interaction

Sports classes bring together children from diverse backgrounds, providing opportunities to make new friends and learn about collaboration. These social interactions help kids develop empathy and effective communication skills.

Popular Sports Classes in Delhi

Delhi offers a wide array of sports classes that cater to children of all age groups and interests. CurioBoat, a leading provider of activity-based learning programs, offers curated sports classes in Delhi that are designed to enhance physical fitness, promote teamwork, and foster skill development. Here are some popular options:

1. Cricket Coaching

Cricket is more than just a game in India; it's a passion. Numerous cricket academies in Delhi, like Sonnet Cricket Club and Madan Lal Academy, provide top-notch coaching to budding players.

2. Football Training

Football has gained immense popularity among kids. Organizations like Bhaichung Bhutia Football Schools and programs by CurioBoat provide world-class training with professional coaches.

3. Swimming Lessons

Swimming is a lifelong skill and an excellent full-body workout. Delhi has several swimming academies, such as Siri Fort Sports Complex and Dwarka Swimming Academy, offering safe and professional training.

4. Martial Arts and Self-Defense

Martial arts classes, such as karate, taekwondo, and judo, teach self-defense and boost confidence. Schools like Shotokan Karate Academy provide specialized training for kids.

5. Tennis and Badminton

Tennis and badminton classes are perfect for kids who prefer individual sports. Venues like Siri Fort Sports Complex and DLTA Tennis Academy are known for their expert coaching.

6. Gymnastics and Dance

For kids interested in flexibility and rhythm, gymnastics and dance classes are ideal. Institutions like IG Sports Complex offer gymnastics training for all skill levels.

How to Choose the Right Sports Class in Delhi

1. Assess Your Child’s Interests

Talk to your child to understand their interests. A sport they enjoy is more likely to keep them engaged and motivated.

2. Check Accessibility

Ensure the location of the class is convenient. Delhi's traffic can be daunting, so choose a class that's close to home or school.

3. Evaluate Coaches and Facilities

Visit the venue to assess the quality of the facilities and meet the coaches. Experienced and friendly coaches are key to providing a positive experience.

4. Focus on Safety

Safety should always be a priority. Ensure the class has proper equipment, first-aid facilities, and maintains a safe student-to-coach ratio.

5. Consider the Schedule

Opt for classes that fit into your child’s existing routine without overwhelming them. Strike a balance between academics and extracurricular activities.

Why Choose CurioBoat for Sports Classes in Delhi?

At CurioBoat, we believe in the holistic development of children. Our sports programs are carefully designed to combine fun, fitness, and learning. We offer a wide range of sports activities tailored to meet the unique needs of every child, ensuring they remain active and engaged.

Expert Coaches: Our trainers are experienced professionals who specialize in working with children.

State-of-the-Art Facilities: We provide safe and well-equipped venues to enhance the learning experience.

Comprehensive Programs: From team sports to individual activities, we cover a variety of interests.

Personalized Attention: With small batch sizes, we ensure every child gets the guidance they need to thrive.

Conclusion

Sports classes in Delhi offer the perfect opportunity for kids to stay active, learn new skills, and grow into well-rounded individuals. Whether it’s cricket, football, gymnastics, or martial arts, there’s something for every child to explore and enjoy.

With CurioBoat, you can be assured of a comprehensive, engaging, and enriching experience for your child. Encourage your child to step out, try new activities, and embrace the world of sports. Not only will they gain physical fitness, but they will also develop confidence, discipline, and lifelong hobbies.Let’s nurture the next generation of champions with CurioBoat!

[starwoodsinternationalschool]

How to Choose the Right Pre-Primary School in Vaishali Nagar, Jaipur

Selecting the right pre-school in Vaishali Nagar is one of the most significant decisions a parent can make for their child’s early education. The pre-primary years lay the foundation for a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development. However, with the abundance of options, finding the best preschool in Jaipur that aligns with your child’s needs and your family’s expectations can feel overwhelming.

To help you make an informed choice, this guide will walk you through essential factors to consider when selecting a play school in Vaishali Nagar.

Enroll Now

1. Curriculum and Learning Approach

The curriculum sets the foundation for your child’s learning experience. Inquire about the educational philosophy of the school. Many playschools in Jaipur adopt well-known approaches like Montessori, Reggio Emilia, or play-based learning. Each has its own benefits:

Montessori Method: Focuses on self-directed activities and hands-on learning to promote independence.

Reggio Emilia: Encourages creativity, critical thinking, and collaborative learning.

Play-Based Learning: Integrates structured and free play to make learning enjoyable and engaging.

Ensure the curriculum incorporates age-appropriate activities, such as storytelling, sensory play, and motor skill development, while fostering holistic growth.

2. Location and Accessibility

A convenient location is crucial for both parents and children. Opt for a play school in Vaishali Nagar that is close to your home or workplace to reduce travel time and ensure a stress-free commute. The proximity of the school can also be beneficial in emergencies or for attending events and parent-teacher meetings.

3. Infrastructure and Facilities

The infrastructure of the school should be child-friendly and conducive to learning. When visiting potential schools, look out for:

Classroom Design: Spacious, clean, and well-ventilated classrooms with age-appropriate furniture.

Play Areas: Safe outdoor and indoor play spaces to encourage physical activities and social interaction.

Safety Measures: Proper hygiene, secure premises, and CCTV surveillance to ensure the safety of children.

Learning Aids: Availability of books, toys, art supplies, and other educational resources.

Schools like the best school in Vaishali Nagar Jaipur often invest in modern infrastructure and facilities to provide a stimulating learning environment.

4. Teacher Qualifications and Student-Teacher Ratio

Qualified and compassionate teachers are the backbone of any pre-school in Vaishali Nagar. Look for schools where educators are trained in early childhood education and have the patience and skills to nurture young learners.

A low student-teacher ratio is equally essential. This ensures personalized attention for each child, helping them build confidence and excel academically and socially.

5. Safety and Hygiene Standards

The safety and well-being of your child should be a top priority. Assess the school’s safety policies, such as:

Availability of first-aid kits and trained staff.

Fire safety measures and evacuation plans.

Clean and child-friendly restrooms.

Hygiene is particularly crucial for young children. Ensure the premises are cleaned regularly and that the school enforces proper hygiene practices, like handwashing routines.

6. Parental Involvement and Communication

Pre-primary education is a partnership between parents and educators. Choose a play school in Vaishali Nagar that values parental involvement through:

Regular updates on your child’s progress.

Parent-teacher meetings to discuss developmental milestones.

Events and workshops to engage parents in school activities.

Effective communication channels, like apps or newsletters, can keep you informed about school events and activities.

7. Co-Curricular Activities

The best preschool in Jaipur goes beyond academics to foster creativity, critical thinking, and emotional growth through co-curricular activities. Look for programs like:

Art and craft sessions.

Music and dance classes.

Storytelling and dramatics.

Outdoor games and sports.

These activities not only enhance learning but also encourage teamwork and self-expression.

8. Reviews and Recommendations

Word-of-mouth recommendations from fellow parents can provide valuable insights. Join local parenting groups or forums to gather reviews about different playschools in Jaipur. Additionally, visiting the school in person allows you to experience the environment and interact with staff, giving you a clearer perspective.

9. Trial Classes and Open Houses

Many play schools in Vaishali Nagar offer trial classes or open house events. These provide an opportunity for parents to observe teaching methods, classroom dynamics, and how children respond to the environment. Attending these sessions can be instrumental in making a final decision.

10. Fee Structure and Value for Money

While cost should not be the sole deciding factor, it’s essential to evaluate the fee structure and what it includes. Compare it with the facilities, curriculum, and additional activities offered. The best school in Vaishali Nagar Jaipur provides excellent value for money by ensuring a high-quality education that justifies the investment.

Final Thoughts

Choosing the right pre-school in Vaishali Nagar requires careful consideration of your child’s needs, the school’s offerings, and your family’s priorities. By evaluating factors like curriculum, infrastructure, teacher quality, and location, you can ensure a positive and enriching experience for your child.

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Discover Starwoods International School — The Gateway to Holistic Early Education

When it comes to finding the best preschool in Jaipur, Starwoods International School stands out as a beacon of excellence. With a child-centered approach, state-of-the-art infrastructure, and a team of highly skilled educators, Starwoods offers a nurturing environment for young learners. Located in the heart of Vaishali Nagar, this premier play school in Vaishali Nagar combines innovative teaching methods with co-curricular activities to ensure holistic development.

Join Starwoods International School and give your child the best start in life. Experience why we are known as the best school in Vaishali Nagar Jaipur!

[daycarepacificpines]

Choosing the Best Childcare Centre in Burleigh: What Parents Need to Know

When it comes to choosing a childcare centre in Burleigh, parents face a big decision. This is the place where your child will learn, grow, and develop essential social and emotional skills during their formative years. For parents in Burleigh and surrounding areas, there are plenty of high-quality childcare centers, each offering unique programs, facilities, and philosophies. This article provides a comprehensive guide on what to look for when selecting the right childcare center for your family.

1. Location and Accessibility

Consideration: Proximity to home or work can make pick-ups and drop-offs smoother.

Tip: Look for a center that is not only close but also located in a safe and accessible area. Many centers in Burleigh are conveniently situated near major roadways and public transport, making the commute easy for busy parents.

2. Qualified and Caring Staff

Consideration: Staff qualifications and attitudes play a crucial role in your child’s experience.

Tip: Choose a center where educators are certified and have a warm, nurturing approach. Don’t hesitate to ask about their staff's qualifications, experience, and how long they have been with the center. Many top centers in Burleigh prioritize ongoing training for their team to stay updated on best practices in early childhood education.

3. Health and Safety Standards

Consideration: The physical safety and health standards of the facility should be a top priority.

Tip: A good childcare center will have clear policies on hygiene, child illness, emergency procedures, and first-aid training. Check that they have childproofed facilities, secure play areas, and appropriate staff-to-child ratios.

4. Curriculum and Learning Approach

Consideration: The educational philosophy impacts how your child learns and develops.

Tip: Many childcare centers in Burleigh use play-based, Montessori, or Reggio Emilia-inspired approaches to foster curiosity and social skills. Discuss with the staff how they structure their programs to support age-appropriate cognitive, emotional, and physical development.

5. Nutrition and Meal Plans

Consideration: Proper nutrition fuels a child's energy and growth.

Tip: Look for a center that offers well-balanced, nutritious meals prepared on-site. If your child has dietary restrictions, confirm if the center can accommodate them. Many Burleigh centers are now offering organic or locally-sourced meal options for a healthier diet.

6. Facilities and Learning Environment

Consideration: The physical environment plays a role in stimulating your child’s creativity and curiosity.

Tip: Tour the center to evaluate its cleanliness, age-appropriate toys, and child-friendly furniture. Outdoor play areas are essential for physical activity, so ask about the availability and safety of outdoor spaces. Leading centers in Burleigh often have natural play environments that encourage kids to explore and engage with nature.

7. Parental Involvement and Communication

Consideration: Regular updates help parents feel involved in their child’s development.

Tip: A high-quality center will keep parents informed through daily reports, newsletters, or a digital app. Look for a center that has an open-door policy, allowing parents to be active participants in their child’s learning journey. Some Burleigh childcare centers even offer regular family events and parent-teacher conferences.

8. Hours of Operation and Flexibility

Consideration: Working parents often need flexible hours to fit their schedules.

Tip: Check if the center offers early drop-off, late pick-up, or part-time options. Centers in Burleigh typically operate from early morning to evening to accommodate parents’ varying schedules, but it’s important to confirm the specifics.

[barnshenntoys]

Buy Kitchen Toys for Kids Online

Introduction

Children love to imitate adults, and one of the most fascinating activities they often mimic is cooking. Kitchen toys are a fantastic way to nurture this interest, encouraging creativity, responsibility, and a sense of accomplishment in young ones. The market is brimming with a variety of kitchen toys, ranging from simple play food sets to elaborate kitchen playsets. This blog will delve into the benefits of kitchen toys, what to consider when buying them online, and some of the best options available.

Why Kitchen Toys?

Developmental Benefits

Imagination and Creativity: Kitchen toys provide a platform for imaginative play. Children can create their own recipes, host pretend dinner parties, and mimic the cooking processes they observe at home. This creativity is crucial for cognitive development.

Fine Motor Skills: Handling kitchen toys such as utensils, play food, and appliances helps in honing fine motor skills. Actions like stirring, chopping, and pouring can improve hand-eye coordination and dexterity.

Social Skills: Kitchen play often involves role-playing, which can enhance social skills. Children learn to take turns, share, and communicate effectively, fostering teamwork and cooperation.

Language Development: Through pretend play, children expand their vocabulary. They learn the names of different foods, utensils, and cooking processes, which enriches their language skills.

Basic Math and Science Concepts: Kitchen play introduces basic math concepts like counting, measuring, and recognizing shapes and sizes. It also lays the groundwork for scientific understanding through activities like mixing ingredients and observing changes.

Psychological Benefits

Self-Esteem and Confidence: Successfully preparing a pretend meal or setting up a play kitchen can boost a child’s self-esteem and confidence. They feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in their creations.

Emotional Regulation: Playing in a kitchen set can be a soothing activity, helping children manage emotions and reduce stress. It offers a safe space for expressing feelings and processing experiences.

What to Consider When Buying Kitchen Toys Online

Age Appropriateness

When buying kitchen toys, consider the age of the child. Toys designed for older children might have small parts that pose a choking hazard for younger ones. Always check the recommended age range provided by the manufacturer.

Safety

Safety should be a top priority. Look for toys made from non-toxic materials, with no sharp edges or small parts that could be swallowed. Ensure that the toys meet safety standards and have been tested for durability.

Educational Value

Select toys that offer educational benefits. Look for sets that include a variety of food items, utensils, and appliances to teach children about different aspects of cooking and nutrition.

Size and Space

Consider the size of the toy kitchen set and the available space in your home. Some sets are large and require significant floor space, while others are compact and portable.

Quality and Durability

Invest in high-quality toys that can withstand rough play. Check customer reviews and ratings to ensure that the toys are durable and long-lasting.

Price

Kitchen toys come in a wide range of prices. Set a budget and look for toys that offer the best value for money. Keep an eye out for sales and discounts on online platforms.

Brand Reputation

Opt for reputable brands known for their quality and safety standards. Brands like Melissa & Doug, KidKraft, and Little Tikes have established themselves as reliable manufacturers of children’s toys.

Top Kitchen Toys Available Online

Play Kitchen Sets

KidKraft Vintage Kitchen: This retro-style kitchen set is both stylish and functional. It includes a fridge, freezer, microwave, oven, and sink, all with doors that open and close. The knobs click and turn, adding a realistic touch.

Little Tikes Super Chef Kitchen: Compact and affordable, this set is perfect for smaller spaces. It features a play stove, oven, microwave, and refrigerator, along with various accessories.

Step2 Best Chef’s Kitchen Set: This interactive kitchen set includes electronic sounds for the stove burner, providing a realistic cooking experience. It comes with a variety of accessories, including pots, pans, and play food.

Play Food Sets

Melissa & Doug Food Groups: This wooden play food set includes items from the five food groups. It’s great for teaching children about balanced nutrition and food categories.

Learning Resources Play Food Set: This set features a wide variety of foods, from fruits and vegetables to meats and grains. The pieces are made from durable plastic and are perfect for pretend grocery shopping and cooking.

Hape Healthy Basics Kid’s Wooden Play Kitchen Accessories Food Set: Made from wood and water-based paint, this set includes milk, orange juice, and other essentials for a pretend kitchen.

Cooking Accessories

KidKraft 27-Piece Cookware Set: This set includes pots, pans, and utensils, all made from durable plastic. It’s a great addition to any play kitchen.

Melissa & Doug Stainless Steel Pots and Pans: This set includes high-quality, stainless steel cookware that looks just like the real thing. It comes with a storage rack for easy organization.

Play Circle by Battat – Pantry in a Bucket: This set includes a variety of kitchen accessories and play food, all stored in a convenient bucket for easy cleanup.

Interactive Cooking Toys

LeapFrog Smart Sizzlin’ BBQ Grill: This interactive grill features sound effects and learning phrases. It teaches counting, colors, and vocabulary while children play.

VTech Chomp & Chew Food Truck: This toy combines a play kitchen with a food truck. It includes a variety of play food and interactive features to teach numbers, colors, and more.

Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Servin’ Up Fun Food Truck: This playset features over 20 play pieces, songs, and sounds. It encourages imaginative play and teaches basic math and language skills.

How to Make the Most of Kitchen Toys

Encourage Role-Playing

Encourage children to role-play different scenarios, such as being a chef, a customer, or a waiter. This helps in developing social skills and creativity.

Teach Real Cooking Skills

Use kitchen toys as a gateway to teach real cooking skills. Start with simple tasks like stirring, mixing, and measuring ingredients.

Organize Playdates

Organize playdates where children can play with kitchen toys together. This fosters teamwork and helps children learn from each other.

Combine with Educational Activities

Combine kitchen play with educational activities like reading recipes, counting ingredients, and learning about different foods and cultures.

Conclusion

Kitchen toys are more than just playthings; they are tools for learning and development. By choosing the right kitchen toys online, parents can provide their children with hours of educational and imaginative play. Whether it’s a simple play food set or an elaborate kitchen playset, the right toys can inspire a love for cooking and learning in children. So, explore the options, consider the factors mentioned, and invest in kitchen toys that will bring joy and learning to your child's playtime.

[stepitupabaga]

Demystifying ABA Therapy: A Closer Look At Its Many Facets

Applied Behavior Analysis, commonly referred to as ABA therapy, is a scientifically validated approach known for its effectiveness in enhancing positive behaviors and reducing harmful ones in individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and other developmental disorders. As parents navigate the many options available when seeking ABA therapy near me, they should be aware of the different forms of this therapy.

1: What is ABA Therapy?

ABA therapy utilizes principles of learning theory to bring about meaningful behavior changes. The process begins with an in-depth assessment to grasp the individual’s skills, needs, interests, preferences, and family situation. Through incremental teaching methods combined with reinforcement techniques, therapists encourage individuals to improve social interactions, develop new skills, or diminish problematic behavior effectively.

2: In-Home ABA Therapy

Keeping comfort as a priority, in-home ABA therapy brings therapeutic intervention to your doorstep. With familiar surroundings eliminating the stress of unfamiliarity, children tend to feel at ease allowing therapists to work on specific goals more effectively. It also provides parents the opportunity to observe sessions first-hand and acquire strategies that ensure consistency in approaching behavioral challenges outside of therapeutic hours.

3: School-Based ABA Therapy

For children who spend a large part of their day at school campuses, implementing effective strategies for managing behavior becomes crucial. School-based ABA therapy serves this purpose by facilitating cooperation and academic success within classroom settings. Therapists collaborate closely with teachers and age-appropriate peers promoting inclusivity while working on social skills improvement and appropriate classroom behavior management.

4: Community-Based ABA Therapy

Expanding beyond home or school settings is community-based ABA therapy where life skills are taught amidst real-world fun-filled activities encompassing play dates, movie outings, or park visits. As people with autism often struggle to adapt to varying environments or novel situations, community-based ABA therapy focuses on aiding them to adapt and engage positively in different social contexts providing a more wholesome life experience.

5: The role of family in ABA Therapy

Family involvement forms an integral part of any ABA therapy plan. Parents are often trained as co-therapists allowing tested strategies to trickle down into everyday tasks cultivating consistency, which is crucial for individuals with ASD. Active participation of the family ensures continuity in the therapeutic process while empowering parents with expertise enabling them to address behavioral difficulties they encounter consistently.

6: Choosing the right ABA Therapy provider

Finding an ABA therapy near me that aligns with your child’s unique needs can be a daunting task. Always look for certified therapists, known for their individualized approach-based treatment plans, and commitment to ongoing data tracking and analysis along parent partnerships.

ABA therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Depending on the individual's goals, preferences, and skills, a blend of in-home, school-based, and community-based services might prove most beneficial resulting in noticeable progress. With qualified professionals offering personalized approaches within familiar settings or amidst stimulating community environments, parents can rest assured knowing their children are receiving quality care biassed towards an enhanced quality of life.

Step It Up ABA

Address: 8735 DUNWOODY PL, STE 8033, Atlanta, Georgia, 30350

Phone: (404) 800-4057

[adviserbabycom]

Miku Pro vs Miku Baby Monitors: Which is best for your needs?

The Miku Pro vs Miku Monitor comparison article should help give parents more information on which model would work best for their family's needs! Read on below to learn about these two cameras and decide which one might be right for you! The quick answer to Miku Pro vs Miku Baby Monitors Miku Pro is more advanced with larger sensor size, wider field of view, and SensorFusion technology, but Miku Baby Monitors might be a more affordable choice with ample features for your baby's monitoring needs. What is the difference between the Miku Pro and the regular Miku? It's never too early to start thinking about baby monitors. With Miku Pro, you can get the best of both worlds: a quality product and peace of mind. But what if there were another option? Some parents prefer Miku Baby Monitors for their children because they are more affordable and have some additional features that make them worth considering. And with so many options on the market, how do you know which one will be right for your needs? In conclusion, while the Miku Pro Smart Baby Monitor has some fantastic features that offer peace of mind and ease of use, it's also important to be aware of its limitations, particularly regarding false alarms and connectivity issues. Overall, it's a robust tool for parents who want to keep a close eye on their baby’s well-being. What is the difference between the Miku Pro and the regular Miku?  The Miku Pro is a little more expensive but it has higher quality audio, better range, and battery life than the regular Miku. The speaker on the Miku baby monitors can be used as an intercom to communicate with your child from another room or when you're in different locations. You'll also get two receiver units instead of one like with the other product line because many people purchase this monitor for their home and office so they need two receivers. Miku Smart Baby Monitor FAQ The Miku Pro does not have an evening light. Yes, the Miku Pro is HSA as well as FSA eligible. The Miku App can be linked to several Miku monitor gadgets, as well as users can quickly switch backward and forward between video feeds. Device positioning and also nearby individuals, pets, or noises can cause incorrect readings, so we advise having just one Miku monitor in each space for the most precise breathing pattern surveillance. The Miku App can likewise be used with an iPad or various other tablets. We do not presently use Alexa or Google Assistant assimilation. The Miku Pro Smart Baby Monitor and Wall Mount is a device that lets you stay connected to your baby from anywhere in the world. You can talk to them, have two-way audio with them, and monitor their breathing rates and heart rate variability even during sleep times which helps detect abnormal occurrences (like sleep apnea).Connectivity issues are no worries since they've been fixed in this updated version of the Miku Pro. The ability to play soothing music throughout the day along with timers will make it easier for your little one as well as help calm you down too when things get hectic around the house! If what you're looking for is an affordable way to keep in contact with your baby while on the go then try out our Miku Smart Baby Monitor is a Wi-Fi baby monitor that works with your smartphone to track breathing, movement, sleep patterns and nursery conditions such as temperature and humidity. The device also offers HD video and sound sharing from the app on your phone. With Miku's tamper-resistant Crypto Chip technology you'll have peace of mind when it comes to data security. Miku App FAQ Miku App Miku App FAQ Miku App Compatibility Miku Pro vs Miku baby monitor review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuii7CGEMAI Miku Pro vs Miku Baby Monitor I am talking all about our Miku monitored. This is Miku Pro. When I started the list of things that I would need before I was baby arrived, the top-quality monitor was a number one priority that we had. And just like every first-time parent, I went into extensive research. I dive right into it, weigh all the pros and cons read every review about monitors that are currently available on the market. After all, Miku ended up being my first choice, I've been using Miku for about a year. And just before I talk about the new and improved Mika Pro, I just want to share with you guys how it was for our first month of not having me. And they were hard. All I could remember is us hovering over his bassinet, making sure he was breathing. So when Jay slept, we didn't. And I also feel like that didn't exactly help me to recover from really hard labor. And C-section I even remember at one point Todd was gone and I was so tired that I actually had to pinch myself just to make sure I stay awake and keep checking on him because we were so afraid of SIDS that said when we got over Migos, we were so happy. It made a world of difference for us. Miku Pro vs Miku Baby Monitor Review We finally could sleep and rely on the monitor to make sure that our little guy was safe. Who knew what I was trying to say is that apart from minimalistic design, lots of lullabies, and white noise rate speakers. The main reason why I love this monitor is that it's tracking real-time breathing as I'm doing right now on my phone just last night, Todd and I were saying how credible the technology is in the middle of a dark room. This baby monitor could detect breathing and also show you a very clear picture of your baby sleeping. Like how cool is that? The other reason why I like my group, unlike any other moderators on the market, Miku does not require anywhere bowls in order to detect your baby's breathing. And this one is big for me because honestly, I feel like wearables are not practical. It's just something extra that you have to do before you put your baby down for sleep or nap and down the line, you would have to buy another wearable. It's just something to consider in terms of costs. And now in Miku Pro offers a, a wider field of view.              Review Miku Pro  I was happy with the previous version. It was plenty that you get to see when you install the monitor. I guess this will come and play when justice is blending, and his crib escapes, I guess another fun upgrade.  The LED light now can be dimmable. So before we did not use honestly, the light because it was a little too bright. And now it's really nice that you can control the rightness yourself and other upgrades that you can pinch to zoom the image. So you can see your baby a little closer personally, didn't miss that option before, because of course, with the monitors that do not track the breathing, you do need to zoom in and check your baby's breathing with Miku. comparison Miku Pro vs Miku Baby Monitor There's no need to do that, but I guess it's fun to watch your baby snooze so you can zoom in and see his or her cute face. And it's been helpful on a few occasions. Sometimes when he loses his soother, I could actually zoom in and check out where it went overall. We were pretty happy with our Miku before and now you meet GoPro offers some really cool features that I really like because the downside of this monitor would be the fact that it's running a little bit on the pricier side, but they do offer to finance. And the fact that you don't have to pay for a subscription, do you do not need to have any wearables has tons of cool features. Like I mentioned before, I ultimately find this baby monitor of great value. So I would certainly recommend it. Thank you for watching this video. Essential Baby Monitor Guides As a seasoned pediatrician and a mother of two, I understand the critical role baby monitors play in the safety and well-being of your child. With an array of options available in the market, I've handpicked the best resources to guide you through your decision-making process: - Best Travel Baby Monitor No Wi-Fi: If you're always on the move and prefer a non-Wi-Fi monitor for secure, uninterrupted connection, this guide will help you discover the best travel baby monitors that require no internet. - Best Baby Monitors for Twins: Monitoring twins can be a challenging task. This guide provides a comprehensive list of the best baby monitors featuring dual cameras for efficiently monitoring two rooms or twins. - Best Baby Monitor with Camera: Looking for a baby monitor with high-quality video capabilities? This guide will help you identify the top baby monitors with advanced camera features, ensuring you keep a close eye on your little one at all times. - Best Baby Movement Monitor: Baby movement monitors can provide an extra layer of reassurance by tracking your baby's subtle movements. This guide offers a rundown of the best baby movement monitors in the market. These guides are designed to make your buying decision easier by providing detailed product reviews, comparison charts, and useful purchasing advice. Make sure to check them out for a stress-free shopping experience. Read the full article

[jacob-truckerguide]

The Art of Balancing Family Life and the Truck Driving Journey

We all know that trying to strike a balance between work and family life can be quite a challenge. It gets even harder when you're constantly on the move, driving long distances. ‍

So, how truck drivers can manage work responsibilities and still have time for their loved ones?

Stay In Touch

We get it - being close to your loved ones is super important. But for truck drivers like you, it can be tough, with those long drives keeping you away from family and friends. And let's be honest, those deep emotional ties with family are like fuel for your soul.

But don't worry, technology has got your back! Even though you might be miles away, it's easier than ever to stay in touch with your loved ones. So, let's dive into some tips that'll keep you connected with your family, no matter where you are!

Send online certificates or small gifts more often You know what really warms the heart? A surprise from the heart! And while you're out on the road, it's the little things that can make a big meaning.

Share funny moments and road pictures via social platforms Snap some pics of funny road signs, the nice views, or delicious meals you come across. It'll not only make them feel connected to your journey but also bring a smile to their faces!

Have video calls with your loved ones Thanks to the wonders of technology, you can now see your loved ones' faces, even when you're hundreds of miles away. Schedule regular video calls to catch up, share your experiences, and let them know you're safe and sound.

Call your family and friends over the headsets while driving It's a good way to stay connected and make those long drives feel like a fun group chat. Just remember, safety first! Keep your focus on the road while talking.

You've got my word – by following these tips, you'll create some truly amazing memories. Keep this in mind, truckers – even with miles between you and your loved ones, love knows no distance.

‍You May Also Like: Tips for Being Healthy Truck Driver

Take Your Family With You

We all understand the importance of your job, but that doesn't mean you have to prioritize it over your family. It shouldn't be a matter of choosing one over the other! It is possible to strike a balance between work and family.

Planning a family trip will be a fantastic idea if all family members are excited about it. Whether it's your spouse, children, or close people, spending quality time together on the road can make nice memories. You don't have to travel together so often, it all depends on your desires.

You May Also Like: Trucker Guide: 6 Essential Steps to Become a Truck Driver

Don`t forget that your child's safety should be your top priority. Note that the age requirements for children riding in trucks may differ based on the state or company regulations, so please verify that you comply with the applicable rules.

So let's keep your loved ones close, even when you are on the road. Catch moments of joy and communication, appreciate the time you spent with your family.

Spend Quality Time At Home

Let's talk about something really important – spending some good quality time at home. We know how tough it can be when you're out on the road, working hard and chasing those long miles. After being away for so long, there's one thing you can do: spend that family time like there's no tomorrow!

Alright, let's jump right in and explore some nice ideas to make your homecoming truly special:

Arrive home early, Surprise! Why stick to the plan? Try showing up at home a little earlier than expected. Picture the sheer joy on your family's faces when they find you there ahead of schedule. That look is worth every mile!

Flowers speak louder than words When it comes to saying "I love you," a stunning bouquet of flowers does the trick.

Romantic dinner for two Looking to fan the flames of love with your partner? A romantic dinner for just the two of you is the answer. Set the mood, share stories, and create unforgettable memories together.

Family feast or picnic joy Gather the whole family and have a fantastic family dinner or picnic. Surround yourself with each other, laugh your hearts out and create memories that will warm your hearts forever.

Connecting with old friends Friends are family too! Plan a meeting with your pals, discuss life's adventures, and enjoy the bond that time and distance can never break.

Fun-filled time with the kids If you have little ones at home, you could read books, do art activities, bake, go for a walk or throw a ball around. There's nothing quite like seeing your kids light up with joy.

These ideas super easy to pull off, making them perfect for hardworking truckers like you. So, be there for your family, shower them with love, and watch your ties grow stronger every day.

Until next time, drive safe and stay connected!

‍You May Also Like: 7 Most Common Mistakes for New Truck Drivers

[angelfrommontgomery]

Those are the numbers for adoptions by parents who have no prior connection to the child like imagine u make 5k a year and u can’t afford to care for ur child so u get pressured into relinquishing them to a private agency and an infertile couple who HAS to have a baby drops 50k to adopt ur baby and they are strangers and your baby isn’t even going to be cared for by somebody in your own community who is able to but instead is going to whoever can foot the massive bill and the adoptive parents consider this a “win-win” situation cuz now they have a baby and the baby has a loving home but u were a loving home ur just poor and now u have been forever changed by this experience nobody wants to acknowledge

[sacerdotessa]

Neptune in the houses

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Don’t plagiarize, you were born original, don’t die a copy.

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Neptune's key words🗝 dreams, secrets, imagination, fantasy, art, beauty, ideals, hope, psychology, art, music, chaos, confusion, illusion, psychic abilities, intuition, religion, inspiration.

Neptune in 1st house:

These people are extremely sensitive, they actually absorb all the energies around them, good and bad ones. They're not good defending themselves from negative people and they easily fall victims of emotional vampires, psychic attacks, energetic vampires and toxic people, they have to work really hard on building strong boundaries. They're extremely psychic, intuitive and sensitive, it's common for them to have visions about the future, vivid dreams and spirits / angels / spiritual beings from other dimensions are attracted to them and always tries to communicates with them. These people tend to have an attractive and feminine appearance. They tend to be mysterious and private about their life, they don't like to overshare and people tend to misunderstand them a lot. They hate labels and the idea of being putted in a box repels them, feeling free and fluid it's extremely important for them. They tend to wear spiritual clothes (crystals, spiritual symbols, etc). Being naive is their biggest flaw. They could suffer from body dysmorphophobia or mental illnesses in general. They need to be careful with drugs and anything that causes addictions, when they're upset they tend to isolate and escape from reality with substances or damaging addictions. They're usually a bit lazy and loves to sleep, usually they're introverted and needs to be alone to recharge. They loves everything that's magic, they find the real world quite boring.

Neptune in 2nd house:

These people needs to be careful with money, they're not so good in dealing with them. Usually they're generous and people take advantages of that, they tend to fall victims of thief and burglars or liars in general. They tend to spend too much money and losing objects is very common for them. They could make money from an activity connected with neptunian values, evade taxes and makes money in a way that confuses other people, they could even be drug sellers. They have a spiritual view of life and they don't care about money in general. They're quite lazy when it comes to find a job or working, they need to follow their own rhythms. They're usually musicians or singers and their voice is usually beautiful and charming. They could have the tendency of eating too much or developing eating disorders. In general, they prefer to keep their financial situation private, they're also quite private about their home and hates inviting people in their home, they would love to live in a isolated place by the sea, they usually dreams about living somewhere else.

Neptune in 3rd house:

These people tend to have mental illnesses, learning disabilities and it's hard for them to communicate with others in a clear and assertive way, they tend to prefer metaphors over a direct discourse. They loves to read and fantasy is usually their favorite genre, non-fiction does not appeal them. They're also talented with writing and could be amazing songwriters or musicians. At school they're talented with humanistic subjects (they're straight A's students when it comes to writing essays) and school could be a place to escape from their family (especially if Neptune is close to the 4thhouse). They loves to write and they could uses alter-ego or hiding their identity when it comes to their creations. They're introverted and have a tendency to read between the lines, this behavior causes paranoid feelings in them. It's hard for them to communicate and they could have the tendency toward telling white lies to others, it's common for them being misunderstood by others. They tend to have many friends and family members with a prominent water quality in their charts. Expect many travels by the sea with this position.

Neptune in 4th house:

This is not an easy position for Neptune, these people tend to have forgotten their entire childhood or important parts of it. They have the feeling of not knowing their parents, this could be metaphorical or literal (I know many people with an unknown father and Neptune in their 4thhouse), their parents might be absent or very private and mysterious, this position brings parents with massive water placements, psychic abilities, mental illnesses and drugs addictions. In general, magic and spiritual themes are not taboos for their parents. They could have spent their whole childhood by the sea or the family might have a second house by the sea. These people could feel like their parents filled them with alienating beliefs about reality, they might have been “too protective” not letting the child exploring the world around them, home could have become a place to escape reality. In a different scenario, the parents could have been too absent and not protective at all. These people could have been experienced difficult in expressing their feelings, extreme emotional responses or mental illnesses during childhood. They need to be extremely careful with thief, an alarm system in the house should be a priority for them.

Neptune in 5th house:

These people tend to be private and mysterious about their love and sex life. They usually have an history of delusions and illusions in their love life, they tend to fall in love quickly and idealize the partner, they also tend to fall in love with toxic and confused people. They need to work a lot on their boundaries when it comes to love. They tend to be amazing partners: generous, sweet, caring, romantic and charming, unfortunately it's not common for them to find balance in a relationship, usually is never 50/50. Their partner might have neptunian qualities or massive water placements. They should avoid partners with mental illnesses and drugs addictions. They should avoid taking drugs and drinking too, they're become easily addicted to toxic behaviors and develop addictions easily. They're talented with any music instrument, art in general, acting, dancing and singing, they're natural born performers. They should always have protected sex, unwanted pregnancy could be common for them. They could have children with neptunian qualities or water placements, mental illnesses, addictions, extremely talented in art and music, with psychic abilities.

Neptune in 6th house:

It's difficult for these people to make planes, organize their life, structure their daily life. They tend to be careless with their diet, kinda lazy when it comes to physical activities, it's extremely important for these people to take care of their health in a proper way, they tend to ignore their physical symptoms or to suffer from hypochondria, this position suggest psychosomatic illnesses too. It's hard for these people to find a job and they could suffer from financial problems during their life time, if they choose a profession related to neptunian themes, they have more probability to achieve success. These people tend to be attracted to alternative medicine, spiritual practices and tend to use the law of attraction in their daily routines, a spiritual life style is extremely important for them. They could be vegan or vegetarian, they're sensitive to animal rights. They could feel connected to fishes or aquatic animals in general. Water is therapeutic for them, showers and baths have regenerative proprieties, they love to recharge with water. They could love volunteering for causes they cares about, they're amazing listeners and have a compassionate nature.

Neptune in 7th house:

These people tend to be attracted to people with neptunian traits and water placements in their chart. Unfortunately they have the tendency to fall in love with toxic, emotional unavailable, inconsistent people, they need to work a lot on their boundaries. Like Neptune in 5thhouse, usually their relationships are never 50/50. These people tend to attract to them artistic and spiritual partners. The idea of marriage tends to be idealized and their ideal wedding party should be somewhere by the sea. These people tend to attract secretive partners, they should be careful about cheating or these kind of things. These people should also be very careful when it comes to contracts or legal actions. They're the kind of people that use to make fantasies in their head about love and romantic scenarios but in real life they tend to avoid relationships. They're also at risk of co-dependency in relationships, they need to be careful. They could also be that kind of people who are in love with art, music or fictional characters, real life relationships tend to bore them.

Neptune in 8th house:

Those with this position needs to be careful with their finances, they tend to be too generous with money and easily fall victims of thief or dishonest people, they need to be careful with heritages too. This position could suggest that these people avoid taxes and have many debts (that they keep hidden) during their life time. This position creates amazing mediums and occultist, those with Neptune in 8thhouse are the best psychics. These people should be careful with their sex life, they have a tendency towards unprotected sexual activities and their sexual fantasies could be wild and eccentric, usually they keep their sexual life hidden too, sex and masturbation could become ways to escape from reality. They'll love tantra and spiritual sex practices for sure! They don't like casual sex, usually they tend to have it only with those they're in love with, unfortunately they're easily victims of f*ckboys and cheaters, they need to be very cautious and work with their boundaries.

Neptune in 9th house:

These people are extremely religious, spiritual and they master the law of attraction like no one else. They could actually decide to be priests or to make religion or spiritual practices the center of their lives. Their faith is incredible, they always have a positive attitude towards the future and they look forward with faith in every situation. These people could actually attract miracles from God or have the feeling that they could actually talk with the Divine Source, good luck always flow toward them. They have an open mind and are respectful of other people ideas and beliefs, however they have the tendency toward being manipulated by others, they need to be careful toward spiritual gurus or religious scammers. Their biggest flaw is their blind optimism, sometimes they ignore every risks and become victims of dangerous situations. They love to travel and daydream all the time about where to go for the next travel, sea locations are their favourite.

Neptune in 10th house:

These people are talented in work areas related to neptunian themes and are huge dreamers, a standard job is not enough for them, they need something special and coherent with their dreams, usually when these people were children they had the tendency toward daydreaming about their future job and adult life. They're passionate about art, music and psychology and they need to feel flexible with their work. Usually they're kinda lazy and don't like to work too much, they need to recharge often. They have amazing healing qualities and could built a career around that, spiritual practices, alternative medicines and energy works could be amazing career fields for them! It's hard for them to chose a profession, they tend to be indecisive about what kind of job they would like to do and usually they change their profession often, in their life time they will do many temporary jobs. These people could also become priests and made a career in religious field. They could also become drug sellers and evade taxes. They're not good at all with planning and organization. They might hate capitalism and have communist ideals.

Neptune in 11th house:

These people should be extremely careful when it comes to their friendships, there could be many liars around them. They tend to be too generous with their friends and could easily fall victims of manipulation or lies. They tend to attract friends with mental illnesses and drugs addictions. They tend to identify a lot with their friends group and tends to make them do all the decisions, they have an amazing community spirit but tend to fall victim of the wrong people. They're insatiable dreamers and they daydream a lot about a better world without wars, hate and filled with peace and love, like Neptune in 10thhouse, they could have communist ideals. These people seriously need to work on their boundaries, they tend to trust anyone very easily and are that kind of people who overshares their life with strangers on the internet or in real life, they need to learn that not everyone is going to be their friends. They also tend to attract many artists and musicians as their friends.

Neptune in 12th house:

These people are gifted with psychic abilities, telepathy, intuition and prophetic dreams. They're natural born psychologist and healers. They tend to have a tendency toward being introverted but it's easy for them to connect with others thanks to their amazing empathetic abilities. They're extremely sensitive and connected with universal energies, they tend to feel overwhelmed by other people energies and need to sleep more than others to recharge, they also need some alone time as well, they could even become hermits for some periods of their life. Unluckily, they have a tendency toward depression and melancholic feelings, they need to take care of their mental health. Art and music could become actual therapies for them, they're extremely sensitive toward sounds and could heal themselves with frequencies. They should be careful with drugs or addictions in general. These people tend to feel a vocation for spirituality since young ages, usually they were more reflective, dreamy and introverted kids compared to others.

ko-fi ☕️: sacerdotessa

[jingyismom]

Time for more sex-cursed Lan Wangji!

a messy, self-indulgent spree imported from twt and lightly edited

explicit, wangxian, 9k, canon divergence fix-it

mild dubcon because of the nature of sex curses (but like, they do their best to communicate around it), and cw for brief thoughts of self harm, no other warnings

This curse's origin is mysterious, perhaps politically guided. Someone is trying to throttle Gusu Lan's alliance prospects by removing Lan Wangji's stellar marriageability after Sunshot. It works, after a fashion.

Wei Wuxian is in the Burial Mounds, farming and hardening his heart as the resentment worsens his health, subsisting on memories of Lan Wangji's single visit.

Lan Wangji is at home in Gusu, pining away while they rebuild the Cloud Recesses.

One day, he begins to burn up with unexplained fever.

The healers examine him quickly and thoroughly and determine first that he's been cursed. This is not entirely shocking, but it of course angers the entire sect. Next they test for the curse's nature. It turns out to be a very classic, very coarse type of love curse.

The afflicted will burn up, losing all their sense and senses, and eventually die, if their body's “needs” are not satisfied by the one it craves most.

The healers are disgusted. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren are outraged. But Lan Wangji becomes very calm at the news.

Before, he felt anxiety. The urgent desperation of a dying man waiting to be told how to live.

Now he is just waiting to die.

For you see, the choice between throwing himself at another human being—no matter who they may be—and meeting death with dignity, is an easy one.

Everyone else privy to this information disagrees. The argument that follows is short, but heated:

"Well, Wangji?" Lan Qiren begins once the initial furor has died down. "How do you wish to...go about this?"

Lan Wangji, over-warm and aching, looks up at him from the examination bed. Gusu Lan funeral rites are ancient and immutable. He does not understand the question.

Lan Qiren purses his lips and glances around. "We must find the person first," he prompts.

Ah. The person responsible. Yes, Lan Wangji does have business with them before he dies. He stands, only swaying slightly. "I am well enough to exact justice. Let us cast the rebound."

Lan Xichen steps forward then, and gently pushes him back to sitting. "It has been cast. However, justice can wait. Your health must come first."

Lan Wangji looks between his uncle, his brother, and the one doctor allowed to be present. Surely they would not be joking at a time like this.

"I do not understand," he says.

The three exchange a look. "Breaking the curse must be our priority," says Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji is not sure he heard correctly. But it would be cruel to give him unfounded hope. "I was unaware there was another way."

"...There is not," says Lan Xichen, his gentleness unfailing.

Lan Wangji experiences a moment of deep confusion before the horror sets in.

"You cannot mean this," he says through his shock. "Surely you cannot mean to cast aside so many disciplines at the whim of a base villain."

"The disciplines are a guide," Lan Qiren says, hands behind his back, looking into the distance, "to ensure a life well-lived. They are not meant to inspire martyrdom."

Lan Wangji's mouth falls open. He stares at his uncle, mute with betrayal. He has never heard of any such leeway before, not in regards to disciplines of such a serious nature.

"You can understand, can't you?" Lan Xichen says. "That no rule is more important than your life.”

Lan Wangji disagrees vehemently. "I would not buy my life with such behavior."

Lan Qiren huffs in irritation. "We may perform a marriage in haste, if you wish."

Lan Wangji balks at him. That his uncle should speak so flippantly of...such a thing. It is unimaginable. And besides, forcing a marriage on Wei—on anyone in this way is surely only adding insult to heinous injury.

"I refuse," he says.

Lan Xichen exchanges a look with the doctor, and sits beside him. "Perhaps the other person should be allowed part of that choice."

Ridiculous. "There is no such person." Preventing this course of action is worth one lie, Lan Wangji reasons.

"With respect, Hanguang-jun, if that were true, the curse would not have been able to take hold," says the doctor.

The use of his title feels uncomfortably ironic from a woman who helped deliver him at birth. He glares at her. She smiles tiredly in return.

"Wangji," Lan Xichen says. His tone is beginning to grate on Lan Wangji's raw nerves. "You will at least try, won't you?"

Lan Wangji stares at him in disbelief, in anger, in righteous indignation.

"Never," he says.

A hand slaps his shoulder. "Apologies," says the doctor, and the world goes dark.

-----

Lan Wangji wakes to dark wood beams dappled by lacy sunlight, and a faint smell of char in the air. His head is heavy, his limbs full of lead. He swallows around the dry thickness in his throat.

"Water," comes a familiar voice.

With effort, Lan Wangji sits up. His stomach is roiling, his mind fogged from the coma and the curse both. The doctor, crouching beside him in the carriage, offers him a bowl of water.

He takes it, and asks, "What have you done?"

She sighs.

"My duty," she says, "with the help of your brother."

She draws back the curtain at the carriage entrance, revealing a sea of black, twisted trees and gray tumbled walls.

Lan Wangji's blood freezes in his veins. He just barely stops himself from asking how they knew.

"Why," he asks instead, a much safer question.

She considers him. "Your brother said if he was wrong, he would beg forgiveness afterward. But it couldn't hurt to have an expert in resentment and curses look at you anyway."

A stab of sick embarrassment makes Lan Wangji’s stomach clench.

Has he been so obvious? Is he such a lovesick fool that anyone with eyes can see his shame?

The doctor pats his shoulder gruffly and he flinches, expecting more needles.

"Ah he's your brother, he's bound to know things you don't want him to," she says. "Come on. Out you get."

He allows her to tug him out of the carriage and onto solid ground. The air is stifling with resentment, but he is glad to be free of his bonds. Now he can look for his chance to get away.

There are six Lan disciples flanking them. He eyes them warily, wondering what they know. When the doctor pulls him out of earshot, and pitches her voice low, he is satisfied that they have not been fully informed.

"Your family and I agreed to give you a chance first," she says. "You have 24 hours to take care of this yourself. After that, I will personally tell Wei-gongzi of your brother's message. I have been assured he will not jeopardize your well-being if fully-informed."

Lan Wangji gapes at her. He does not know what he expected to happen, but it was not this...this...mercenary attempt at...forcing...

The curse has weakened him such that he cannot fly his sword. He can hardly walk in a straight line, let alone run. He has very little recourse now that everyone in his life has gone absolutely mad. His heart is racing with the adrenaline of upheaval, of fear, of impending death.

He wrenches his arm from her grasp and stalks off of the road, into the brush. She calls after him, but he does not mean to escape. He cannot manage that alone. Instead, he sits. He takes a deep breath. He sinks into meditation.

"Hanguang-jun," she calls. She approaches, hands on her hips. She sighs. "Well, if it's like that, then there's nothing stopping me from telling him right now."

She turns, and Lan Wangji feels a lurch of helplessness, when a new voice rings clear through the fog.

"Tell what to whom?"

Lan Wangji's eyes snap open. Wei Wuxian is standing on the other side of the carriage, the child A-Yuan in his arms, eyeing the Lan delegation with suspicion. Wen Ning is with him, and the Lan disciples shift nervously just looking at him, but Wei Wuxian sets A-Yuan in his arms, and he leaps away up the mountain.

"Might I assume this little party has come for me?" Wei Wuxian goes on, twirling his flute. His eyes are shrewd and cold, similar to the way they had looked when he had first returned during the war.

At the sight of him, at the sound of his voice, the curse...reacts.

A horrid, uncomfortable shiver of need runs through Lan Wangji's body alongside his own simple relief and joy at seeing Wei Wuxian again, looking relatively well. He fights it, keeping still among the weeds, hoping against hope to go unnoticed.

"Yiling Laozu," the doctor greets him with a deep bow. "We have indeed come to humbly beg your aid."

"I see," he says. "And what will you give me in return?"

The doctor hesitates, clearly discomfited by the context Wei Wuxian is currently unaware of. "We may...discuss that. Once we have informed you of the details."

Wei Wuxian hums, considering. Cold. Detached. "And if I am disinclined to—"

He breaks off. The doctor has moved so that she and Lan Wangji are both in Wei Wuxian's line of sight. Lan Wangji closes his eyes rather than see the moment of recognition, rather than feel the weight of Wei Wuxian's eyes on him, like this.

"Lan Zhan?"

Lan Wangji clamps his jaw shut. It is a struggle not simply to crawl to him.

The renewed ice in Wei Wuxian's voice when next he speaks makes Lan Wangji aware of the warmth with which he had said his name. His curls his shaking hands into fists on his knees.

"What have you done to him?"

The doctor sighs. "We have done nothing. He has been cursed, which is why we brought him here. If you—"

"Daifu," Lan Wangji interrupts, his voice thin.

She stops speaking.

Lan Wangji opens his eyes, but does not look at Wei Wuxian, not yet. If he is careful, and uses his remaining strength correctly, he can perhaps...perhaps guide the situation. Toward escape. With Wei Wuxian's help.

He may have to lie to him. He hopes he will be forgiven, all things considered.

Lan Wangji stands slowly, carefully, considering each movement so as not to reveal the state he is in.

"I will speak with him," he says to the doctor.

She eyes him. "24 hours," she says.

He does not acknowledge this. He thinks they both know it will not come to that, though his idea differs greatly from hers. He judges, from the time they have allotted and his own weakness, that he has perhaps a day and a half, total, to wait them out. Doable, if he is careful and intelligent about it.

He can manage.

He walks over to Wei Wuxian, careful to keep two arm's lengths between them. This close is already too close: a fine, constant tremor has made a home in all of his tightly-locked muscles. He feels the moment his fever begins to rise further. The sides of his throat hurt, the interiors of his ears. He wonders if his hearing will go first, or his eyes.

"Allow me to explain," he says to him.

"Of course," Wei Wuxian answers.

He sounds strange. Cold, still. Lan Wangji wants to look at him, and almost slips, but manages to stop himself. He follows him up the hill, past the wards, through the resentment that clings to them both, now. He keeps his careful distance, following behind.

"What happened?" Wei Wuxian asks, as they walk.

"A curse," Lan Wangji says carefully. "Origin unknown. The rebound has been cast. I did not wish to burden you with this, but they are...they will not listen to reason. Wei Ying, if you would but help me, I would deal with this on my own."

"Oh?"

"I...wish to seek justice. They will not allow it. But you understand. If there is another path off the mountain, if you would show me the way past them, I could—"

Wei Wuxian stops dead, and Lan Wangji, with his eyes in the ground, runs into him. 

For a blazing, agonizing moment, he is touching Wei Wuxian, clinging to him, every element in his body sighing and crying out at once in satisfaction, in the torturous need for more.

He tears himself away, stumbling back, almost falling. Wei Wuxian reaches out as if to catch him, but falters.

"Lan Zhan, you can hardly stand," he says, alarmed, "and you want to go and fight someone?"

Lan Wangji draws himself up taller again, trying hard to stop his shaking. He cannot look at him. He cannot look. He is already dying, now, just from not looking. "It is my right."

"...It is..." Wei Wuxian says at length, watching him closely. "And it still will be once you're well again. Your doctors really couldn't tell what type of curse it is?"

Lan Wangji says nothing, trying to think past the way every inch of his skin feels as if it is burning clean off. The pain of it screams through him, worse than anything he has ever felt. Wei Wuxian is still speaking, but it is hard to make sense of it. When Wei Wuxian begins walking again, slowly, it is all he can do to both follow and stay away from him. This, here, now, is worse than death. If it lasts, he certainly will not be sane when the end finally comes. He lets go of any thoughts of a dignified death.

Fortunately, by the time they reach the cool dark of the cave Wei Wuxian calls home, the pain has subsided to a distant roar. Unfortunately, he hoped never to reach this point. He tries his only play again, unable to think of any new tactic.

"Please show me the way off the mountain," he says without preamble.

Wei Wuxian is quiet for a beat. "You really don't want my help that much?"

Lan Wangji is so confused by this question, and then struck by the irony of it, that he almost begins to laugh. A shivery, jittery feeling fills his chest, and he leans against the nearest solid surface. He wishes he were wearing a loose outer layer over his blue travel robes, the better to hide his shaking. He does not know how to respond.

"You haven't so much as looked at me once since you got here," Wei Wuxian goes on, digging through strange pots and objects on a table, "so I get it. But you'll have to forgive me if I disregard your objection to the kind of work I do, when it comes to your life."

"My life, my life," Lan Wangji mocks, accidentally out loud. Why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with his life? He was ready to give it freely in the war, but chance let him keep it. What difference does giving it now in the name of keeping himself clean of shame make? Why will nobody allow him this choice?

"What shame?" Wei Wuxian asks.

Lan Wangji buckles at the realization that he has said all of this out loud. He goes to the floor, to his knees.

"Nothing," he says. "The shame of not having warded off such a simple attack."

"Lan Zhan...you want to die because you didn't defend against a curse you didn't know was coming?"

Lan Wangji lapses into silence. He has said too much already. He does not know how to get out of this. He can only...he can only stay quiet. Refuse to speak or move.

"Lan Zhan...I feel like I'm missing something here. I only want to help.”

Lan Wangji grits his teeth and stares hard at the floor in front of him. He has rarely ever felt so trapped, so utterly helpless. The extended, full-body pain is dulling his mind by the moment. The hems of Wei Wuxian's robes come into view, and it takes everything in him not to fall forward into him, to plead, to beg. His breath is hitching at random intervals now, his heart tripping as it prepares to fail entirely.

There is a soft gust of air, and an odd prickling sensation across his face.

"Now let's see—oh," Wei Wuxian says. "I...oh."

Lan Wangji wilts at his stilted, awkward tone. He knows now, surely. Can see him truly.

"So that's why you want to leave, and why they won't let you. They want me to find another way to break it, to stop you from...ah."

Lan Wangji sorts through the words, trying to comprehend them.

"Sorry," Wei Wuxian goes on. "I...it's unbreakable, otherwise. A very old, airtight spell. You...will Gusu Lan start a war with me if I do just let you go...ah, handle this the old-fashioned way?"

Comprehension dawns. And with it, a way out.

Lan Wangji rushes to agree. "They—" He cuts off. Will they? If they think Wei Wuxian has willingly let him die, rather than...

He takes a breath. Another. Forces his mind past the endless litany of pleas for relief.

"Show me the way " he says, his words breathless and short, "and then tell Lan-daifu what you have done. And why. But give me time to. Get away. And you will be safe."

Wei Wuxian pauses. "How...ah. How far—how much time?"

Lan Wangji tries hard to come up with an answer for that. His progress will be slow. But he need only find a place to hide.

"Half a day," he hazards.

Wei Wuxian seems to vacillate. "Are you sure you can make it on your own?"

Lan Wangji wants to rage. To weep. To curse himself to the heavens for being so depraved toward so endlessly kind a man. His heart hurts, even as his body strains toward him.

This lie may be the worst he will ever tell.

"I will be fine,” he says.

"Alright." Wei Wuxian sounds unconvinced. "I trust you."

Lan Wangji nearly convulses, holding back a sob. How will he ever be forgiven?

He cannot think of it. Only this, only what comes next. Only keeping Wei Wuxian safe from this mess.

"Lan Zhan?"

"Mn," he manages.

"Would you look at me, now? I haven't...used any demonic cultivation on you. It's safe, I promise I won't. I just. Can't we say goodbye properly?"

Lan Wangji has not moved from the floor. He does not move. He should try. A parting gift. Just one look.

But if he is going to leave. If he is going to succeed. He cannot.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says again, frustrated now.

Lan Wangji does not look. He is so close to freedom from the horrible pull, from the way his very veins are trying to tear themselves free to wrap around Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian steps forward, and Lan Wangji's breath leaves him all at once. Suddenly, there are fingers beneath his jaw, kind but firm, tilting his chin up. He has no choice but to look.

(Inspired by this art.)

Wei Wuxian is there. Tall and strong and perfect, tiredness mixed with something bittersweet on his lovely face. Lan Wangji's entire being melts toward him, a deep, sharp tug from inside his bones, a mindless, helpless, straining need that pushes a low, wanting sound from his throat.

Wei Wuxian snatches his hand away and backs up half a step, staring at him.

"Sorry," he says, blank. Confused. "I thought it was...I didn't realize...sorry."

Lan Wangji, now that he has looked, cannot look away. He has overbalanced without Wei Wuxian's support, fallen forward onto his hands, but he cannot stop looking at him. He will look at him, and keep looking; he prays Wei Wuxian is the last thing he sees before he dies.

The most shameful part of this is that none of it is the curse twisting his thoughts. None of this is. All the curse is doing is making the way he always feels impossible to ignore.

"Wei Ying," his voice implores. He does not mean it to.

Wei Wuxian takes another step back and looks down at the bowl of powder in his hand, confused. "I was certain it was that curse," he says to himself. "If I was wrong, then maybe I could break it..."

Lan Wangji tries to scrape his composure back together. He tries. He tries. His fingers scrape on the rough stone floor. He does not reach out for him. That is something.

Wei Wuxian looks at him again, then hastily away. Lan Wangji does not ever want to know what it is he sees.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, as Lan Wangji shakes, and shakes. "Where...where were you trying to go? I thought you...I thought you were, ah, thinking of a certain someone."

Lan Wangji's arms are weak. They are going to give out. He cannot answer him.

"I'm confused, and I...may have made a mistake," Wei Wuxian goes on, still backing away slowly, "but I just want to help. Can you tell me what was happening before, and what's happening now?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head, and the motion shatters his fragile balance. He falls, and curls tightly around himself in the dirt.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian says, suddenly close.

Lan Wangji sees his hand reach out, then pause, and he can't stop himself from taking hold of it, just to be touching him. His body screams for it, and he gasps raggedly at the contact.

Wei Wuxian wrenches his arm free. Lan Wangji wishes he were dead.

"Fuck," Wei Wuxian mutters to himself. "I...I'm sorry. I made this so much worse, I..."

"No," Lan Wangji rasps. He cannot hear Wei Wuxian berate himself thus. His dignity has now died, and he himself will soon follow. This is all that matters. "Not your fault."

Wei Wuxian huffs, crouching beside him. "It is...at least partially my fault, at this point, I'm pretty sure. You wouldn't be...reacting. Like this. If it weren't. Is...can I...do a few more tests? To check what I got wrong, and maybe—"

"You were not wrong."

He does not mean to say it.

His need to reassure has overridden his sense, and his mind is too slow now to piece together what it will mean before it leaves his mouth. The regret once it does is instantaneous. He tries to curl himself yet smaller in the dirt.

Wei Wuxian is silent. Lan Wangji cannot stop making small, pitiful, pained sounds in the back of his throat. Everything hurts. Everything.

"I don't understand," Wei Wuxian says quietly.

Lan Wangji lies shivering on the floor, arms locked around himself to prevent any more untoward behavior. He cannot take it back. He cannot try to explain. There is nothing he could say, regardless.

"Lan Zhan...but you..."

He can hear Wei Wuxian thinking, but it only registers in the far back of his mind. The rest of his consciousness is taken up by pain, and by ruthless restraint.

"You wanted to leave to get away from me," Wei Wuxian says, finally.

Lan Wangji does not answer. He wishes he had his sword. He would use it now to end this.

Wei Wuxian begins to back away again, and Lan Wangji’s body moves without his permission. He grips the skirt of Wei Wuxian’s robes in his fist and drags himself closer, pressing his cheek to Wei Wuxian's knee.

Shameful. Wanton. The small part of himself that is still aware berates the action. But he cannot let go. He cannot move away. The only part of him that is not howling with pain is the side of his face pressed to coarse fabric.

"Lan Zhan, you…," Wei Wuxian is trying to gently pry Lan Wangji's fingers from his hem. "You wanted to leave, remember? You don't want...you don't."

"Want," Lan Wangji croaks, pressing closer. "Wanted to spare you."

"Ah, Lan Zhan...I...I'm still not sure it's that specific curse, it could...there could be other..."

"It is," Lan Wangji says, half-crawling up Wei Wuxian's leg. He wants to stop himself. It is impossible.

"Lan Zhan...you...you shouldn't—"

"Stop me," Lan Wangji pleads, nuzzling against Wei Wuxian's thigh, "Wei Ying, I can't...please. Stop me."

There is a long near-silence filled with harsh breaths, in which Lan Wangji is almost certain he imagines the light touch of fingers brushing his mussed hair back from his forehead. Then Wei Wuxian speaks.

"No," he says. "You'll die, if I do. Lan Zhan. I won't let that happen."

He touches Lan Wangji's face. Lan Wangji whimpers into him.

He knows this will break the fragile repairs they have made to their friendship. He will likely never see him again, at least not on good terms. The thought makes him feel ill. He should protest. Refuse. Flee. He can do exactly none of these things. He reaches for Wei Wuxian's wrist, to hold his hand to his face, but Wei Wuxian flinches away.

"You can't...Lan Zhan. I'm going to help you," he says, "but you have to...you can't...you can't touch me."

Lan Wangji feels another tight clench of shame. He nods against his leg. He understands: he knows any small part of this is too much to ask, let alone bearing his unwelcome, curse-fevered grasping.

"Okay," says Wei Wuxian. He slides his fingers beneath Lan Wangji’s chin again, tipping his face up.

He looks so uncertain. So beautiful in the dim light. Lan Wangji wants to weep with it.

"Lan Zhan, I know it doesn't count for much like this, but you have to tell me. You have to tell me what you need."

Lan Wangji turns his head, pressing his face between Wei Wuxian's thigh and stomach, trying to reach into him, to feel more of him, to stop hurting just enough to think. It does not work.

"You," he breathes, into the scent of earth, and stringent soap, and Wei Wuxian.

A harsh, uneven breath ghosts across his hair, and Wei Wuxian's hands grip his shoulders. He thinks he is about to be pushed away again, but instead Wei Wuxian pulls him up, pulls him close, folds him into his embrace.

Lan Wangji sobs into his shoulder, trying at once to get closer and to hold himself apart, instinct demanding, even now, that he try to conceal his obvious, disgraceful hardness. His muscles quake under the strain of doing both and neither, and Wei Wuxian smooths one hand down his back, pressing him close, pressing them flush. Lan Wangji chokes back a shocked sound.

"Shh," Wei Wuxian soothes. "It's alright."

It is not alright. It is the end of the thing Lan Wangji holds most dear.

But he does not have it in him to argue. He is shifting against him, his overheated body begging for touch, indeed for ravishment. He is mindless with it. The pain is not subsiding but slipping sideways into something more, something different, something necessary.

He is on his knees on hard stone, breathlessly held in the arms of his beloved. He has dreamt this: sweetly, hazily, with and without hope. But never like this. Never sick with remorse, with need, dying and demanding and defiling. His deepest desire twisted into a nightmare.

He whimpers again, his lips finding the soft coolness of Wei Wuxian's throat. Wei Wuxian jerks away again, and Lan Wangji fists his hands tighter at his sides, trying, trying not to overstep again.

"I—sorry," he gasps out. He will never be able to apologize enough. But he will try.

"Don't apologize," says Wei Wuxian. "I—"

He cuts himself off. Lan Wangji does not have enough sense to wonder why. In the same moment, one of his thighs gives under the strain, and he falls against him heavily. They tip over, to the floor, and he reaches out on instinct to brace them both. When he is again conscious of himself, Wei Wuxian is lying on top of him, breathing hard, both of Lan Wangji's wrists pinned to the floor in one hand. Lan Wangji arches against him inadvertently, and turns his face into his own bicep.

"Sorry, I...so sorry," he pants, his hips flexing, searching for friction. "I have...no control...”

"I know," Wei Wuxian says, "I know, I shouldn't have..." he swallows hard. "I'm going to keep you like this. Can I?"

Lan Wangji nods frantically, his eyes shut tight. He does not care. Anything that he can do to make this any less invasive for Wei Wuxian, he will do.

Wei Wuxian pulls away then, his hold still firm on Lan Wangji's wrists. Lan Wangji squeezes his eyes shut and tries to stop moving, to stop searching for touch, to stop making such a disgusting spectacle of himself, but to no avail. What feels like centuries later, he hears the telltale sounds of talisman activation. He is too far gone in his pain to look up, to see what they are. He simply lies there, pinned and writhing, his breath catching in his throat. The sounds it makes are small, pitiful, desperate.

Just like him.

Eventually, Wei Wuxian leans back over him, a considering look in his eye. His hand hovers at Lan Wangjis belt.

"I—should I..."

"Yes," pleads Lan Wangji.

He needs Wei Wuxian's skin on his skin. He does not know how discerning the curse is about what happens now, but it feels as if he will die without it. Wei Wuxian takes what looks like a fortifying breath and unties the belt. Lan Wangji, unable to help, instead hinders the process with his ceaseless movement. But Wei Wuxian manages it with deft hands, and immediately unties each layer of robes in quick succession until Lan Wangji’s chest and stomach are bare.

The cool air of the cave does not soothe his burning. It burns like ice instead. Lan Wangji shivers, an ugly whine escaping him.

"What," Wei Wuxian asks, pausing, "what is it?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head. He will bear it. He will not make demands.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, "you need to talk to me, I...I don't want to make this even worse, or, or draw it out longer."

Something small and dark crumples in Lan Wangji's chest. He does not want that either. He will need to speak. To ask.

"Hurts," he says, rough and thick.

"Where?"

"...Not...not touching me."

Wei Wuxian makes a distressed noise and lays both his palms flat over Lan Wangji's ribs. Lan Wangji groans, pressing up into them.

"Please," he whispers, helpless. "Please."

"Oh, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian murmurs, something sad like regret. He leans closer and slides one hand down. Lan Wangji shudders under him. "I'm just going to..."

Lan Wangji nods again, holding his breath to stop the whines from escaping the back of his throat.

Wei Wuxian unties Lan Wangji's trousers and slips his hand inside. Clever fingers wrap hesitantly around him, and he bucks up into them with an obscene moan. It is minor relief from the most consuming pain he has ever felt, and it is simultaneously the most intense pleasure he has ever experienced. All of these sensations, coexisting in his fallible human body, feel likely to rip him apart.

"Wei Ying," he moans again, when Wei Wuxian moves his hand.

He gasps for air, his body twisting into it, his whole being searching for Wei Wuxian. He makes another piteous sound, the torment of it all overwhelming. Wei Wuxian leans down against him then, his own robes open, pressing them skin to skin.

Lan Wangji sobs. It is something. It is something. The pain abates somewhat, and he sighs, turning toward him, his mouth brushing Wei Wuxian's hair. He has the wherewithal now to fight the urge to kiss his head properly, his face, anything he can reach. He holds himself still beneath him instead. And Wei Wuxian touches him, and touches him. The incomprehensible pleasure builds, and builds, until Lan Wangji cannot breathe. But it does not break.

Something almost like soft lips brushes his throat.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says into his ear, "this, is this...will this be enough?"

The pleasure is just another kind of pain, now. Lan Wangji shakes his head as sweat rolls off of him, as he tries and fails to get enough air to speak.

Wei Wuxian clears his throat. "What, then?"

Lan Wangji's body knows what it needs. But he does not want to tell.

"Come on, Lan Zhan, after all this? Don't get shy on me now."

He misses the joking tone he is aiming for, but the pure, unmistakable Wei Wuxian-ness of the tease sends a surge of genuine desire through Lan Wangji. He wraps his legs around Wei Wuxian's hips and pulls him down. Wei Wuxian breathes in sharply.

"You just...you want...but only..."

"Please," says Lan Wangji, barely voiced. "In—" he cannot say it. "Please."

"Ah," Wei Wuxian whispers, into his skin. "If—are you sure?"

Lan Wangji whines. He wishes he were not so very sure. He wishes he were not asking Wei Wuxian to do something so intimate, so extreme. He wishes Wei Wuxian had let him die before it ever came to this.

"Alright Lan Zhan, just hold—hold on," he says, and is gone.

Lan Wangji clamps his mouth shut on a scream as the agony slams back into him, worse even than before.

Not soon enough, Wei Wuxian returns to divest him of his boots, socks and trousers. Lan Wangji fights him without meaning to, trying to keep his knees curled up to his chest, trying to minimize the hurt. Wei Wuxian is briskly patient, handling him with aching care he does not deserve.

And then he is upon him, chest and stomach, hips and thighs, smooth and hard and exquisite. Lan Wangji almost forgets the pain in the rush of gratitude, of solace. Their robes trail off them both, gathering dust as they move together in halting fits and starts.

"Don't let me hurt you, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian grits out, a strong hand lifting one of Lan Wangji's thighs by the back of the knee.

It is nonsense. He could not hurt Lan Wangji any more than this. And Lan Wangji could not stop him now if he did.

But the kindness. Even in this. Tears prick at Lan Wangji's eyes. He will miss him. He will miss all of Wei Wuxian with all of himself. He will never stop missing him. He will never move past this regret as long as he lives. How could he? Every breath he draws will be by the grace of Wei Wuxian.

Suddenly there is slick pressure against him, against his most private of places, and he gasps, loud and wretched. Wei Wuxian exhales, uneven and deep, and pushes in, in, in. Slowly. So slowly. Lan Wangji bites down hard on his lip to keep from begging for it. His arms are pinned, as are his hips, Wei Wuxian holding him steady, holding him still. Lan Wangji loses all sense. There is only the weight of Wei Wuxian, the full, stinging press of him, the searing pain, the devastating euphoria of being this close, and yet so very far in every way that counts.

Ages pass before Wei Wuxian is fully seated inside him. By then Lan Wangji's breaths are wet and shallow; scraping, desolate things. He does not know any longer what hurts and what feels good. It is all one and the same. He only knows he needs more, in some primal, wordless way.

He asks with the arch of his back, the squeeze of his thighs. He tries, somehow, to keep quiet, but fails more often than not.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says tightly, "try to relax, I'm going to move. Tell me if it...if it's right."

Lan Wangji manages a loose nod, though he barely understands.

And Wei Wuxian moves. He rolls his hips against him, shifting inside of him, and Lan Wangji groans. Each deep, short thrust pushes air from his lungs, and he lacks the strength to catch it again. It is beyond pleasure. It is ecstatic. To have Wei Wuxian around him, inside him, panting above him. A deep, villainous part of him wants it never to end. The rest of him howls for release.

He is dripping now, steadily, onto his own stomach. He can feel it pooling on his belly, unpleasantly cool. He whimpers between desperate, panting breaths, beyond words.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, breath shivering across Lan Wangji's collarbone, "I can't...can't keep this up, you feel too—" his breath catches, and he pauses. "I'm going to finish. You need to come."

Dimly, distantly, the idea that Wei Wuxian should derive pleasure from this, no matter how perfunctory, gives Lan Wangji a perverse sort of satisfaction. It snuffs out like a candle at the nebulous thought that perhaps in another world, they could have had this for real.

In this world, the fact remains that this has gone on far too long. But Lan Wangji can do nothing about it. He meets Wei Wuxian's thrusts, leans into the pleasure, tries to gain the momentum to go over the edge. He should be able to. It should be easy. He has been so hard for so long, has been given more now than in his absolute wildest and wettest of dreams, and yet he hovers, scant inches away.

Wei Wuxian loses patience, his head dropping to Lan Wangji's shoulder. He grunts softly and fists Lan Wangji's wet cock, quick and merciless. Lan Wangji cries out, shuddering violently with the extended, expansive stimulation, worked both inside and out, helplessly, utterly unmade by Wei Wuxian's touch.

And still he does not crest. He is sobbing steadily now, ugly and jagged, and Wei Wuxian kisses his shoulder, his throat, his cheek.

"Were we wrong?" He asks, breathless. "Lan Zhan please, tell—show me, I...I can't...you...I can't lose you. Lan Zhan?"

Exhausted, Lan Wangji turns his tearstained face toward him, blindly seeking. Perhaps they were all wrong. Perhaps he will die now, like this. And perhaps it is selfish of him, but having heard those words, he finds his regret to be less than it should be. Everything, everything hurts. But Wei Wuxian will miss him, too. Of course he will. They are zhiji. This, miraculously, will not erase that. It is more than he deserves. Wei Wuxian has always been more than he deserves.

Lan Wangji heaves, and writhes, and cries.

Wei Wuxian kisses him. Soft, gloriously cool lips on his.

An odd, fleeting, hollow feeling.

The dam breaks. The pain goes suddenly quiet. Roaring to fullness in its absence is the killing swell of such a long-delayed climax. It is possible that he calls Wei Wuxian's name. It is impossible to know.

The world, again, goes dark.

-----

Lan Wangji wakes to gray light and distant birdsong. A sharp edge is digging into his shoulder. He shifts, then goes still at the deep ache in his entire body.

He remembers.

"Hanguang-jun should drink this," says a brisk voice to his right.

Wen Qing sits there, watching him. His heart skips a beat and he looks down. But he is fully clothed once more.

Her smile is wry as she holds a cup out to him. Laboriously, he sits up to take it. It is bitter, but familiar. A restorative. He thanks her formally.

She shakes her head. "No need.” She turns to go.

"Wen-guniang," Lan Wangji says. She pauses. "How long has it been gone?"

She turns to stare at him. He knows she knows what he means.

"How? When?"

She looks away. "You'll have to ask him."

The pang of loss he felt upon waking with Wei Wuxian gone speaks for him. "Will he let me?"

 He lies on the slab of rock that serves as Wei Wuxian's bed for too long. It is difficult to tell the passage of time in the Burial Mounds, but it seems slightly brighter than it had...before. He reasons that it could well be the next morning. He wonders if Wei Wuxian slept beside him, then tosses the thought away as gross indulgence. He wonders instead, as he has many times since his last visit, if Wei Wuxian sleeps at all.

First, his excuse to tarry is meditation. He works at it, simultaneously restoring his drained core and healing himself, until the discomfort fades from his every movement to just a specific few.

Once that is done, he has no reason to be idle. But the voice in his head, Wei Wuxian's blisteringly cold one that had called him his proper name all those months ago, keeps him in place. He hears it saying all manner of things in response to seeing him now.

"What more could you possibly want of me?" Wei Wuxian sneers in his mind. And he would be right to do so.

But Lan Wangji does not intend to ask anything of him ever again.

And there is the other thing. The fact that his robes should be uncomfortable, filthy, but they have been cleaned, dried, and arranged back onto his body properly. Comfortably. Almost as if—

He dares not imagine. But at the very least it does not speak of utter contempt.

So he rises. He follows the path Wen Qing told him of. And he does something foolish. He hopes.

After no short while of walking, he comes to a slightly darker, more silent corner of deadened forest. He rounds a bend and sees Wei Wuxian crouched a little ways off, and then hears high, lilting notes as if through water. The energies are strange here, and Wei Wuxian is speaking to with them in their own language.

Lan Wangji approaches until he sees Wei Wuxian go still. He says nothing. Wei Wuxian drops his flute from his lips.

"Are you well?" He asks without rising or turning.

"I am."

Wei Wuxian nods. "Your people are waiting for you."

It is a dismissal. Lan Wangji recognizes this. But he will impose just a little bit longer.

"Your core," he says. Wei Wuxian stands abruptly, still facing away, gripping Chenqing. "Can it be replaced?"

Wei Wuxian whirls to face him, anger and fear warring with the questions on his face.

Lan Wangji has other questions, too. But they do not matter. He is intelligent enough to piece together the cold, empty space where Wei Wuxian's core should be, the tired guilt on Wen Qing's face, and...

"Your scar," he says, dropping his gaze to the scorched earth.

He should not know of it. But he does, now, and he also owes a greater debt than he can ever repay. Wei Wuxian does not respond. How dearly Lan Wangji wants to see his expression. But he will not infringe on any more of his privacy.

The wind howls. He waits.

"You won't tell anybody," Wei Wuxian says uncertainly.

Lan Wangji stiffens. "I will not."

"Nobody told you?"

"Nobody.”

Wei Wuxian pauses, momentarily satisfied.

"You're not going to ask how? Or when?"

Lan Wangji would like to. He would like to know everything of Wei Wuxian, even his sorrow, his pain. But he is not entitled to those things. There is only one point that matters.

"Can it be replaced? Can the procedure be reversed?"

Wei Wuxian sighs. Lan Wangji can tell he does not wish to speak of this.

"So single-minded, Lan Zhan," he scolds, then shakes his head. "The chance of success would be small; the chance of finding a donor, much smaller."

But this is all Lan Wangji hoped to hear. It is enough. He goes to his knees, arms circled in front of his chest.

"Allow me," he says.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian darts forward, trying to pull Lan Wangji up from the ground. Eventually he gives up and goes to his knees in front of him, pushing at his arms. "Lan Zhan, stop this," he says, panicked. "Don't be stupid, stop—Lan Zhan, you can't be serious."

"Please allow me," Lan Wangji repeats, eyes downcast.

"Stop this!" Wei Wuxian shouts. "It can't be done, and I wouldn't take it from you anyway!"

Lan Wangji flinches bodily. He had not considered...but yes. Everything in him is sullied. He bends at the waist, bowing further.

"Apologies for the offense," he says, then snaps his mouth shut. His voice is too obviously strained.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian says, still alarmed.

Lan Wangji needs to leave. He has already overstayed. But he...he has not tried hard enough.

"This debt is too great to repay in one lifetime," he says. "Please inform this one of what he may do to begin."

Wei Wuxian sags, dragging one of Lan Wangji's wrists with him. "Lan Zhan, there is no debt between us."

Lan Wangji only just stops himself from glancing up. He does not understand.

"I owe you my life and more," he says. "You took great pains to save me, even as the situation proved me unworthy of it. I owe—"

"You owe me nothing," Wei Wuxian insists, shaking Lan Wangji's arm. "There were no great pains. Nobody is unworthy. Well...you aren't."

Lan Wangji opens his mouth to protest, but Wei Wuxian speaks over him.

"People have...desires, Lan Zhan. There's nothing unworthy about it."

"But you—"

"Stop," he says. He sounds so, so tired. "If you hadn't been...dying. If we—" He stops. "Just keep my secret," he says, and lets go of his wrist. "And live well."

Lan Wangji closes his eyes. The thought of going back to his home, his life, after this, had not yet occurred to him. It sinks him from his knees to the ground. How can he do this? How can he leave him this way?

"Wei Ying," he pleads. "I must...I must do something. I cannot...I..."

"Why, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asks, not unkindly. "You have responsibilities. People to protect, just like me. Live well, and count things even between us. Why not?"

Lan Wangji’s chest caves in. He does not make the sound clawing up his throat.

"You...truly, you must know why," he says. "After... you must know. I would not leave you in need. I could not."

"Ah, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says sadly. He shuffles forward. Lan Wangji startles at the feel of fingertips on his cheek. "You're too good. But all I need is," he huffs, "political asylum for me and 40 friends? It's not your burden."

Suddenly yet slowly, like the first burst of sunrise, an idea reveals itself on the horizon of Lan Wangji’s mind. It is unorthodox. And likely unwelcome. But it is all he has.

"My uncle made a suggestion," he says. "When my affliction became known. It is true that he did not know what it would mean, but I would hold him to it. If it is not...hateful, to you."

"I don't know what you mean," Wei Wuxian says warily.

Lan Wangji steels himself. "You are perceived as the head of a sect. A proper alliance could protect your people, and Gusu Lan is in need of hands for rebuilding. The person who cast this curse upon me has given the perfect excuse, and made themselves scapegoat. If you would...I would not ask anything of you, if you agreed. It would be a marriage in name only, as you wish it."

Wei Wuxian's silence turns to spluttering. "M—Lan Zh—marriage?? What—how—"

"If the idea is odious, I will not mention it again. But as I said. My uncle suggested it. And under the circumstances, he cannot refuse."

"Your—he—Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, look at me. Look at me, please."

Lan Wangji looks at him. His eyes are wide. Disbelieving. Concerned.

"Your uncle would qi deviate if you even hinted at such a thing," he says. "Gusu Lan is in a precarious enough position, you don't need...I have nothing to offer in return." He pats his lower stomach, empty of spiritual energy, emphatically. “Nothing. Don't be ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous," Lan Wangji argues, certain now that he is right. "You can offer more protection for us, and we can offer legitimacy. The person who cast this curse can be seen to have forced our hands. Has—has forced our hands."

He stops himself. He should not push this. Wei Wuxian is looking at him as if he does not know him.

"You don't want to marry me, Lan Zhan."

This gives Lan Wangji pause. It is a confusing objection, to say the least. He stares, trying to comprehend. He clears his throat. Takes a breath.

"If you are under the impression..." he stops. Drops his eyes once more. "...that the...impetus of the curse. Is the whole of the way I—”

"Demonic cultivation," Wei Wuxian interrupts. "It would be unhealthy. For you. And your elders! They wouldn't let me, not if I were...attached to your sect. To you.”

A fair concern, and one Lan Wangji has been turning over in his own mind as well. "Is this your only objection?"

Wei Wuxian casts about. "Ah..."

Lan Wangji takes one last plunge. "The elders can be reasoned with, compromises can be made. I am not concerned for my health: being near you could never be harmful to me." He hears himself, then, and amends, "Though you need not. Be near me. That is not a condition."

"You would defend this?" Wei Wuxian asks, bemused.

"Defend what?"

"My cultivation path. You..."

Lan Wangji resists a sigh. "I understand the reason, now. And I believe...if you did not object. We could work toward making it safe, without stripping you of what your hard work has created."

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. He reaches out, then stops.

Lan Wangji stares at his hand, hovering between them. His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his eyes, in his tongue.

"Wei Ying."

"You would let me, though?"

His tone is gently mocking. His head is cocked to the side, the edge of a smile playing across his lips. It knocks the breath from Lan Wangji's chest.

"Let you?" He asks, dazed.

"Be near you."

Lan Wangji's heart stops. It is a moment before he can respond.

"I would. Always."

Wei Wuxian takes his hand, and sighs. "You don't owe me this," he says again.

"I do," Lan Wangji counters, off-kilter. "I owe you. And I want to. I would want to, even if—"

He loosens his tight grip on Wei Wuxian's hand. He is saying too much, taking too much, being too much. He settles himself. Finds the words that matter.

"It would be a thing happily given, with no strings attached, should you wish it."

Wei Wuxian laughs strangely. "Lan Zhan, you really..." He shakes his head. "I'd marry you in an instant, you know," says.

Lan Wangji's neck hurts from the speed with which he looks up at him. Hope, warm and liquid, blooms through his limbs.

"But I can't make this decision on my own," Wei Wuxian goes on. "It's not just my life. We have to talk it over with everyone."

"Yes," Lan Wangji says, surprised, and eager now that he sees the possibility of success. Of doing something of use.

"Alright," says Wei Wuxian, a smile hidden in the corner of his mouth. "I can't promise...but it...it could work."

"It will," Lan Wangji says, certain that the strength of his conviction alone will carry them through if need be.

He feels strange and dreamlike, confused but heartened by the turn in this conversation. That Wei Wuxian can stand the sight of him, let alone wish to ally with him personally, seems too wonderful to be true. Another Wei Wuxian hallmark.

"But Lan Zhan, no more talk of strings," Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Wangji sobers and nods. It is unseemly. Of course their understanding must be a tacit one, now.

But his hand is suddenly in both of Wei Wuxian's.

"You need to stop feeling guilty," Wei Wuxian says, looking down at it. "If I were your husband...if I were. We could try all that again, but without the impending doom. We could try it again any way we like, any time—all the time—and we'd—"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupts, strangled. His heart is in his throat. He cannot comprehend what he is hearing. His ears, his face, are on fire.

Wei Wuxian smiles down at their hands, one part shy, one part mischief. "I think we could get really good at it, if we had the chance, don't you?"

Lan Wangji stares at him. "You..."

"Mn," says Wei Wuxian, meeting his eyes.

He shines so bright, even without any core to speak of. He takes Lan Wangji's breath away.

"I take it back," Wei Wuxian says, his voice suddenly urgent. "I like strings. Mine is that if this happens, I want to be your real husband. In name, in practice, in bed, and in your heart. Because you would be, in mine."

Lan Wangji's voice sticks in his throat. He feels...he feels unreal. He does not know what to do, to say. Perhaps they never broke the curse at all and he has simply gone mad. But Wei Wuxian's fingers stroking his palm, the root-knotted dirt beneath his shins, are real. He sways, unbalanced.

Wei Wuxian reaches out. Catches him. Folds him into his arms for a second time. Lan Wangji's breath shudders out of him.

He is on his knees, breathlessly held in the arms of his beloved. He has dreamt this many ways. But never has it been so real, so full of hope. He wraps his arms around Wei Wuxian in turn, buries his face in his shoulder.

Wei Wuxian huffs. "Jiang Cheng is going to be so angry."

Lan Wangji comes back down to earth. It is true he had not thought of this. He makes to pull away. "How should—"

Wei Wuxian clutches him tighter. "I don't care," he says, "I don't care, we can manage him." He pauses, then speaks more softly. "Maybe...I could see shijie's wedding after all. Or—no. It's too soon, I—"

"Yes," says Lan Wangji. "You will. We will go together."

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath, and lets it out into Lan Wangji's hair.

"Together," he says.

It takes several serious, and at times uncomfortable, discussions, but in the end, Gusu Lan’s Second Jade is indeed thoroughly removed from the marriage pool of the great sects. The curse caster is found and punished. And everybody else lives happily ever after.

The end.

-----

(Thank you for coming on this wildly self-indulgent journey, I hope you enjoyed it. If you’d like to read some actually nicely-polished, fleshed-out fics by me—including another sex-cursed LWJ—check out my AO3.)

[crack-whore-who-fuckedup-already]

The Man Needs His Cat

Bucky x fem!reader

Word count: 1,960

Warnings: mentions of animal death, fluff, Tony/Bucky interaction

Summary: Bucky and Reader stumble across a kitten in the woods and Reader is tasked with asking Tony for a huge favor. 

A/N: y'all- I'm head over heels in love with catperson!Bucky

The situation had to be dealt with carefully, (Y/n) knew. She didn't want to come on too strong or he'd be quick to turn her down. Maybe a hypothetical would be the best course of action... She took a breath and pulled her shoulders back. Then, with only a second of hesitation, she entered Tony's lab. 

He greeted her from his hunched over position at one of the many cluttered tables, barely sparing her a glance. In the heat of engineering, he worked on some odd piece of tech he had yet to fully present to the team. She echoed a small 'hello' back and rocked awkwardly back and forth on her feet. 

Still not looking up, Tony indulged the girl with idle conversation. They spoke of their day, of current world news, of the weather. That's how he knew she wanted something. The girl would always engage him in casual conversation just before asking a favor. Tony didn't mind much, of course. If anything, he found it entertaining how intently she tried buttering him up. But today he had quite a bit of work to get done so he wanted to get this show on the road. 

Putting his tools down, he looked at her pointedly with a knowing grin. "Alright kid, what's up?" He asked.

(Y/s)'s eyebrows raised in question, playing dumb. "What do you-" 

"Drop the act, (Y/n)," he chuckled, and grabbed an already greasy rag off the desk next to him to wipe his hands. He stood and made his way to her, tossing the rag back on one of the several tables in the lab. "I know when you want something, so just go on. Ask." He said, his face light with a smirk.

(Y/n) flushed with warmth, embarrassed by his boldness. But she continued anyway, determined to fulfill her promise to Bucky. 

The night before, she and Bucky were on their way home from the movies. It was a beautiful night out and in their comfortable silence, they found themselves on a slight detour through the woods. At some point, Bucky had pulled over off the side of the road and onto a look out.

Bucky, ever the silent communicator, simply stared at (Y/s) confused face with the softest smile on his own, before stepping out of the car. While (Y/n) scrambled to open her door, Bucky walked the couple of feet towards a barrier fence overlooking the river beneath him. His eyes followed the shine of the water as it drowned the boulders lining the river bed. He thought for a second how exciting the challenge of rock hopping sounded, never really having gotten the chance to as a child.

The call of an owl pulled his attention to the tree line which he observed with such intensity that (Y/n) nudging his arm made him tense. She flashed him a smile to calm the surprise on his face and in an instant, his arm was around her, pulling her close. They both looked out at the shadowed woods and (Y/n) was even sure to point out the moon and stars themselves. 

In the silent moments that passed, they both had turned to embrace each other wholly. They stayed like that for a moment and then Bucky pressed a kiss to her forehead. Pulling back to look at his warm, loving face, she found acute concern instead. He was glancing just past her head, off into the bush leading down to the river bank. 

"What's the mat-" she asked quietly, shrinking away. 

Bucky pressed his fingers to his lips and hushed her quickly and gently and then slowly gestured to his ear. Listen, he was telling her. 

She didn't hear anything at first. Nothing but the rush of the river below them and the gentle night breeze above them.

But then, just as she was about to ask again, she heard it. The faintest of mewling. Barely audible but definitely there. 

Bucky grasped her shoulders and looked her in the eyes once more before he squeezed them tightly and moved past her. He approached the thicket and hesitated for only a second before pressing forward. The branches hurt his skin but he'd suffered worse.

(Y/n) tentatively called his name to which he responded "I've almost got it." His voice sounded distant and strained and it worried (Y/n) that she could no longer see him through the darkness, being so close to the river and all. But as long as she could hear his grunts of discomfort from the branches whacking him in the face, she remained calm enough. 

Eventually, he emerged. Even in the dark, (Y/n) could see the pure white fluff sticking out between Bucky's fingers. As he approached, the fuzz ball revealed its face from its careful hiding spot in the crook of Bucky's arm and glanced around. Two dark eyes and the palest little nose swung in her direction, its whiskers twitching with cautious curiosity.

A kitten.

The poor thing was trembling but so was Bucky. Placing a hand on his forearm, she beckoned his attention and spoke low.

"What was it?"

To bide his time, he shifted the kit closer to his chest and took a deep breath. He didn't meet her eyes but he mumbled just loud enough to hear.

"A whole box of them but…." He didn't dare finish the sentence and instead held the kitten in front of his face, ignoring the unwarranted feeling of loss he felt for its siblings. Swallowing hard, he finally met the girls soft, understanding eyes and smiled sadly. 

Before she could say anything, the small creature let out another indignant mewl that seemed to reassure Bucky just a bit. With that, (Y/n) moved to his side and slung her arm around his waist.

"Alpine," he mumbled.

"What's that?"

"I think I'll call him Alpine." Bucky said fondly. His eyes never left the baby and the girl knew he was in deep.

"Oooh, I know that look." She tittered. Bucky only stared, his eyebrow creased, questioning. "That's the way you look at someone you love. That's the way you look at me." She said with a blush, nudging him lightly.

His face melted into that soft loving one she cared for so dearly. The kitten settled into the warmth that embraced him as the couple kissed.

"Let's get a move on. It's getting colder and colder by the second and I'm sure this little guy agrees." The kitten mewled one last time.

With a light chuckle, they spared one last glance over the look out before returning to the car where Alpine slept peacefully in Bucky’s lap the whole way home.

The two couldn't help but discuss what they were going to do with little Alpine. Bucky was set on keeping it and had even decided to clear his schedule the next day to make a vet visit. The only issue was their living space. They weren't too sure how Tony would react to them bringing a cat in off the street. But the girl could see how much the kitten meant to Bucky already so she promised to talk to Tony in the morning. 

Well, morning came and now here she was.

Tony crossed his arms impatiently. "Well?" He pressed, tilting his head up.

(Y/n) anxiously grasped her hands in front of her and leaned forward a bit. "What would you say to the idea of us getting a pet?" She stared openly at his face as he stared back at hers. The question bounced around in Tony's head, leaving his eyebrow slightly creased and the room painfully quiet. (Y/s)' nervously raised eyebrow gave him a clue into the situation.

"Right….and who exactly is this 'us' you're referring to? Cause something tells me I'm actually being iced out of this decision." Before she could even get a full breath in, he continued on. "All right, what are we working with, huh? A rabbit? A goldfish? If it's a parakeet, it won't even get past the front door, so help me god." 

The girl shook her head as she let out a laugh. She could tell he wasn't overly fond of the idea. It was clear by the way his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. But judging by the way his voice didn't fall completely flat, he wasn't opposed to it either….not entirely, anyway.

"No, no. Not quite. It's a cat. A kitten, actually, so there's still time to train it and all," She reassured him. "And Bucky should be getting home any minute from the vet with him if you'd like to say hello."

Tony caught himself before he let his expression drop at the name of the elusive ex soldier. He'd gotten better at watching himself since the two of them moved in. Bucky and (Y/n) weren't together when they did, but being only a few steps down the hallway certainly allowed them a closer relationship.

Tony nodded his head reluctantly and dropped his arms to his sides. 

He followed the girl down the various halls as she recounted how they found the poor kit, and found themselves approaching the common room. Or the family room, as (Y/n) preferred to call it, while simultaneously prattling on about how much time and energy the team wastes pretending to hate each other. Huh.

They could hear the tinkling of a bell being wacked around from down the hallway. As they entered the room, they stopped in the archway and took in the sight before them. 

Bucky sat crisscrossed with his back to them. In his hand was a feather wand, standing out bright purple, blue, and white against the dark brown floor. In front of him, white fluff darted back and forth. There was the smallest sound of tearing as its tiny claws ripped against the carpet, no doubt leaving it frayed.

Tony tried his very best to suppress his dissatisfied grumble...

They watched for a bit as Bucky went back and forth with the kitten. Tony didn't have to look hard at all to see how much the ex soldier cared for the tiny thing. No only because of his undivided attention towards the cat but also because of the many beige bags labeled "PetsPlus+"  full of toys, treats and towers scattered around the sofas. 

He thought it might be good for Bucky to have another companion around. Maybe it would help him relax. Maybe even lighten up a bit.

Tony stepped forward.

"So, uh, I'm not a big fan of funky smells so that's got to be top priority as far as pest control goes with this thing, alright?"

Bucky jumped to his feet and Alpine followed suit, hackles raised. Bucky quickly scooped him up and held him close. "Of course." (Y/n) made her way over to them. "Our rooms are big enough to keep him there most of the time and we have already worked out all the responsibilities between us. We've got it covered."

Tony stepped back a bit looking them up and down, humming. "I expect weekly visits in the family room," he said pointedly, then waved his hand. "Keep it tidy, folks." And with that he left the couple to their new fascination.

Tony lingered at the doorway on the way out. While the couple was distracted, he found himself watching that wretched arm. The dark, intimidating metal turned soft and gentle as it reached out fearlessly to antagonize the tiniest, weakest thing in the room. No hesitation, no fear. Not in Bucky or the kitten. Tony knew then that it stayed, no question.

The man needed his cat. And damn it, he'll get it.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are Weird: The Nightmare of the Universe

Below are transcripts from former Eternal Federation president Dokova Mince regarding humanity.

“When I was a child, my father would tell me that unless I did what he and my mother said the Packrils would get me and take me away. They were small scaly creatures with dozens of talon arms that they would grab you with and drag you away into the night.”

“At the time I didn’t understand why my father would do this to me, but in time as I grew older I came to realize his method. He told me this because he knew I would be more afraid of monsters than I would be of him, and that I would do everything I could to make sure they didn’t take me.”

“When I learned the truth I was outraged, and yet I could not deny its effectiveness. I did everything my father and mother asked of me and in return the Packrils never came storming through my windows in the dead of night. Over time I came to find it rather amusing, the notion of imaginary monsters creating such order in my chaotic life. I thought to myself “Why did I ever believe monsters were real?””

“It wasn’t until much later on in life when I became the sitting president of the Eternal Federation that not only were monsters real, they had a name.”

“That name….was human.”

“Upon first discovering humans the other great powers of the universe thought them a joke; the latest in a long line of primitives trying to reach space by strapping themselves to explosives and shooting off into the sky. I must admit that I was among those who laughed at their feeble stumbling into space as they tried to colonize their home system. It wasn’t long though that their stumbles began to turn into sprints.”

“As time passed so too did these savages, these humans come ever closer to reaching the galactic community. It took them nearly 7,000 years before they left the bounds of their world’s gravity. A mocking number for many but it was what came after that which began warning me in the very back of my mind that something was very wrong.”

“Eight of their years after they achieved space flight not only did they land on their moon but they also established their first orbiting space station. Seven years after that their first robotic explorers began traversing the outer worlds of their system, relaying countless images of red barren wastelands that enthralled the small minds of humans all across their tiny world. Within the next twenty years they established a vast and complex network of satellites for sharing information around their planet for every moment of every day. Fifty years later they were landing manned missions to other worlds and spreading out like a deadly plague.”

“These small beings, these humans, though slow to progress went through a rapid paradigm shift and began a rapid expansion of science and technology; pushing the very boundaries of their understanding farther and farther.”

“Still, the powers that were stood by and watched; yet only I saw the danger unfolding before our eyes.”

“Only I could see the monsters waking from their sleep.”  

“These humans…..they were walking paradoxes of themselves.”

“They claimed to want long lives, and yet they bathe in their suns radiation for enjoyment.”

“They claimed to want peace, but their military spending far exceeded every other aspect of their society.”

“They said they were explorers cresting the ever changing tides of the cosmos, yet with every planet they touched a flag was planted and a claim staked like conquerors.”

“It wasn’t long before I was not the only one to see this rising threat, and together we decided to act.”

“Energy barriers and engine disrupters were placed around their system and any attempt to leave was halted immediately. A rotating fleet of ships to patrol the system and ensure any ship disabled would be safely returned to the nearest human world.”

“We thought by closing them off from the rest of the galaxy would  ween their more confrontational traits away, that they would mature more; to give them time to understand their place in this vast and wonderful universe. At the very least it would give me peace of mind that the monsters were still far off from my doorstep.” “Instead we only drove them deeper into the pits of madness. They looked up from their worlds and saw the wonders of the universe all right; but they saw it through the iron bars we put them behind. They saw our protection as an insult, a challenge. “Why should we be denied the grandeur of the cosmos? Why must we be locked away and forgotten?” “

“The years passed and our watch began to wane as the rest of the galaxy required our attention. Our watch became lax and in time even I forgot about the humans. That was until one day I received a priority message from the patrol fleet.”

“The humans had breached the barriers, engaged the patrol fleets, and had stolen their ships. I immediately ordered replacement ships to be sent in but by then it was too late.”

“Human ships poured out of the breach in every direction. Primitive compared to our ships, yet their jump drives were effective enough to spread them in nearly every direction before we could close the breach again.”

“They spread out like rodents fleeing a sinking ship at best and a deadly plague at worst. We tracked as many down as we could, but with them fleeing in seemingly every direction many slipped through our fingers. When we did find them many years later what we found was almost too impossible to believe.”

“Somehow they hacked into our captured ships and stole our star charts. They pulled dozens of uninhabited worlds and set coordinates for them at the fastest speeds they could go. Some of these worlds could support life, and yet many more were near total death worlds floating in space.”

“On planets so cold a single second spent outside was enough to freeze you solid they had carved elaborate cavern cities of dazzling beauty.”

“On planets of nothing but scorched sands they planned massive rail systems that carried entire cities around the planet at just the right spot between the night and day sides to maintain life.”

“On countless asteroids and dead moons massive space stations clung to the rock faces housing hundreds of thousands of living beings that lived in conditions borderline unimaginable.”

“Worse yet was how humans began appearing in other civilizations across the galaxies. For all their barbarism they seemed to have a knack for merging themselves into different cultures; adopting new customs and beliefs as easily as one would breathe air. Some even rose to positions of power within these new cultures and gained followings.”

“I had the government issue demands that any humans found outside of their containment system should be handed over at once. Some of the species gladly handed them over, eager to keep us on their good side. Some bartered and negotiated for the humans, seeing them as a resource to be used. More often the other powers out right refused to hand them over. The reasons varied but the theme was that they did not see the humans as the monsters I knew them to be. It wasn’t until my own government began to question my own sanity and even began softening the rules against humanity that I knew I had lost.”

“For all my efforts, all my struggles, all my sacrifices to stem the tide of monsters at our door I was defeated by the weakness of others.”

“Now as I lay here dying in my bed I find it rather ironic that the only face I now see every day is that of my human caretaker Julie. She smiles at me every time I see her; yet I can see the dark glint behind her clear green eyes. She knows who I am and what I have done to her people, and she smiles not at me personally but at the soon to be moment when my life sheds off this mortal coil once and for all.”    

“I had done everything that was ever asked of me and the monsters were still waiting at my door…..waiting to drag me away.”

[apompkwrites]

love in their own way || albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli

masterlist characters: albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli genre: fluff summary: in which their s/o's aren't as forward about their emotions, but still manage to have their little tells that express their love. notes: i hope this meets the request! i had a lot of fun writing this! i just want the boys to be happy :)

albedo -

i like to think albedo is secretly clingy but doesn't allow himself to show it to anyone.

naturally, it's just because he's always holed up with his work.

when he consciously does it... it's because he's nervous.

remember the end of his quest when he's talking to himself at dragonspine?

that's why he's nervous.

anyway!!

he's not too bothered by the fact that you're more reserved.

he has a lot of work so he can't really dwell on the idea for too long.

just you being there when he's working is good enough for him :D

as we all know, this boy is very into experimentation and learning.

so trying to decipher your minuscule facial changes is actually really interesting to him!

he has a bunch of notes just on the little details he can find about you.

and since he's so observant, it doesn't take him long to realize that there are certain signs that only appear around him.

he'll notice them when he's painting you.

whenever he's waiting for results, he'll use the time to draw you <3

because he's done this, he practically has you memorized.

so imagine his surprise when he sees your expression change whenever he leaves your sight.

it takes him a while to actually be able to see this, but i'm sure it's because of timaeus and sucrose.

after all, they're around you a lot whenever albedo is busy.

they probably take a picture to show him something they did while he was gone and that's when he notices.

he doesn't even have to look at a different picture of you.

he can just tell you look different.

the little crinkle next to your eyes was gone.

your lips were more pursed than usual.

you now had a crease in between your brows you didn't have before.

the next time he sees you, he'll hold up the picture next to your face to confirm they're different.

he wants to ask why there's a "clear" difference in your appearance but he already knows why.

he'll ask you just to be sure, though--

your cheeks get a tiny tiny bit darker when you answer wholeheartedly.

it does make him chuckle when he hears that you're so smitten for him in your monotonous voice.

the picture sucrose and timaeus took isn't his favorite of you, so he ends up taking a new one when you two are both exploring dragonspine.

it's a reminder of how much you really love him <3

childe -

out of the four boys here, he's definitely (in my opinion) the most affectionate.

like, this boy will take whatever he can get to just hold you for a second.

especially if you're also from snezhnaya but came all the way to liyue to keep him company.

he's very family-oriented as we've seen, so he treasures these relationships.

now, with an unaffectionate s/o?

honestly, i don't think he'd be too upset about it.

like i said, he really treasures these familial relationships.

because of this, it's his top priority to make sure you feel comfortable in the relationship.

he won't necessarily keep his distance, but he won't be too clingy either.

he'll stand right beside you, enough to where you can almost feel his skin touching yours.

as for your expressionlessness...

it'll take him a bit to really understand how you're feeling.

it's a lot of communication because he doesn't want to mess anything up.

near the beginning of the relationship, he'd ask how you're feeling and if there's anything bothering you.

but once he finally notices the subtle differences in your face, such as a slight eyebrow raise or a tilt of the head, he'll be able to read you easier.

nothing too complex, but just enough for him to tell your emotions.

there is one subtle change that he always looks for, however.

he's realized, with the help of zhongli of course, that there is a specific characteristic that only happens when he's in your line of sight.

your lips are normally pressed in a fine line.

however, around him, the corners lift up ever-so-slightly.

the only reason he's able to see it is that he'll catch himself staring at your lips because he wants a kiss :)

once he sees that, he starts noticing your little quirks whenever you're around him.

you'll lean closer to him as you're walking through liyue harbor.

your eyes start to soften as he talks on and on about his day (and complains about scaramouche--).

he loves the idea that all of these little details about you only happen around him,

it makes him feel... important.

and loved.

even if he holds back from touching you, he'll settle for seeing your cold exterior melt around him.

xiao -

he's not too well versed in affection...

i mean, he's the vigilant yaksha that is known for being stoic just like you are.

you two are basically carbon copies of each other.

no affection and no clear expressions of love.

people (who know both you and xiao) often forget that you two are actually together.

like, they just think you two sit in silence when you're both tired of dealing with people.

they... aren't necessarily wrong.

the two of you are often found sitting at the balcony looking over liyue.

sometimes you bring him almond tofu to share :)

it's very rare for the two of you to actively show your love for each other, mainly because you both know your feelings.

although... xiao does have those moments.

it's not like he's completely oblivious to the whispers about you two.

and on the days where his karma acts up, he gets insecure.

he's... really scared that one day you'll leave just like the others.

it doesn't matter if you're a mortal or an adeptus, he's scared that one day he'll wake up and you'll be gone.

and if that ever comes, he's scared you'll pass on either doubting your feelings or his.

it doesn't help when he notices the difference in your attitude and appearance when he's around.

his first instinct is that he's doing something bad.

either you're angry or upset at his mere existence...

verr goldet's the one who has to explain why you seem different.

she's quite observant on her own, especially because you're the first person that xiao actively enjoys being around.

she'll be the one to tell him that it isn't because you're mad at him.

you have minuscule changes because that's how xiao makes you feel.

you're so soft around him and she can tell just from the small interactions she's seen of you.

for example, when you're talking to the chef downstairs, you have the same expression that xiao has when he's talking to people.

you're annoyed but you know how to handle it.

but when you're around xiao, it's like everything that bothers you disappears.

it's like you're in your own domain whenever he's around.

nothing else matters except for him.

and even if she's relying on small observations and pure intuition, she can tell that the changes are good.

your eyes that seem to look anywhere besides the person you are talking to are completely different from the ones that seem to only focus on xiao.

your normally stiff body relaxes every time you summon xiao at the balcony.

the tiny smile that graces your lips when you disappear to the top of the inn for hours on end.

verr goldet's explanation calms his heart.

his worries seem to disappear and the next time he sees you...

this is the one thing his karma can't take away. he'll be sure of it.

zhongli -

zhongli is also another person who isn't well versed in relationships.

although he isn't as inexperienced as xiao, it'll take some time for him to figure it out.

he's not someone who craves affection like it's the only thing keeping him alive.

he definitely would appreciate it but he completely understands that it isn't something you tend to give.

so instead, he'll show his love in the smaller things.

such as telling you stories, sharing tea, going out on walks, etc.

he's another person who is very observant, especially in people close to him.

his storytelling friends often ask him about your relationship with one another.

they try to bring it to his attention that you may not be as interested as he thinks you are.

of course, he'll simply laugh them off and tell them that they should listen to the person who knows you best.

he'll turn those questions into a big story and explain how they're mistaken about you.

he's never actively told anyone this, save for hu tao who tries to bug him into telling her, but he'll tell them about all of the tiny details that tell him your feelings.

when you're feeling upset, you puff out your cheeks a small bit.

when you're angry, your glare hardens at whatever is making you mad.

when you're happy, your lips part slightly.

when you're in love... well, that's a detail he'll keep for himself.

he's quick to say goodbye to his peers, practically rushing back to your shared home.

he's greeted by you as soon as he opens the door.

your stoic expressions... would be exactly the same to anyone else.

but to him, it's like you've lit up like a small puppy seeing their human parents come home after years.

you don't run up to him, but you turn to look at him and away from the book on the table.

he'll greet you with a quiet nod, pulling out the chair and sitting next to you.

he'll take the book from you, taking in your appearance for a moment.

your shoulders relax by a hair and you move your chair an inch closer to his.

you don't lean your head on his shoulder but you lean towards him as if you were about to.

it's these moments that make everything worth it to zhongli.

here, in your home and in your life, he's simply zhongli.

the man you fell in love with and allowed your reserved self to open up to.

and he would trade anything just to have these moments with you.

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.