#the puzzles in general weren't great this time around

[journey-to-the-attic]

have you seen mona's mirage domain the new genshin update?

if so, imagine ik bringing a similar gadget from teyvat to devildom to show the belphie and Astaroth brings them to a domain of some sort that lets them match up constellation on their own, and when the do, the get to go through a little maze that tells them the story of the constellation.

and then afterwards, all the constellations are brought into this BEAUTIFUL sky with all them put together to tell one BIG great story and the two just have so much fun solving the astrology puzzles 'cause they're just two cute little starry dorks and ik is just smiling so happily in the background 'cause they're smiling so much 'cause of this one gadget she brought aND AHHHHH THE SEROTONIN AND HAPPINESS IS SO MUCH AJHASHAJAHSAJ-

GOOD LORD THE SHIP IS SO CUTE-

i HAVE and temple of the star platitudes is so GORGEOUS oh my goodness, definitely my favourite out of all the mirage domains

ik is acting like a paimon-esque guide and is basically third-wheeling by the end, but she doesn’t mind! her role in getting belpheroth the star-gazing date to end all star-gazing dates was still a very important one after all

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[10:14 pm]

(cw: reader is a little delusional or lovesick tbh)

a/n: muahahaha I've been wanting to write some angst

You were fairly certain Johnny Seo was your soulmate. You were also fairly certain that whoever was writing your love story was making it a slow burn, childhood best friends to lovers, with humor and fluff. You'd known it since you were 14 years old and he was the gangly, wannabe emo, with a voice that cracked more than someone's back at the chiropractor. Though you were positive you had actually been in love with him since you were 7, when he helped you build your brand new Lego set, but you were too young to realize. The only problem, well among many other problems, was that Johnny hadn't yet figured that out.

This was proven by your years and years of pining and his general aloofness. And well, he was currently on a date. A date he'd been gushing about all week to you. You who painted on a smile and wished him all the best while inside you were screaming and praying for his date to leave him hanging. Then, he would come over and seek comfort in your embrace and while you had his favorite movie playing he would realize that you were the one for him. How could he have been so stupid for so many years?! Yeah- it was something you'd thought about a lot.

You were busy chewing on your thumb nail, you had almost bitten it down to the skin while you waited for Johnny to call and invite himself over for you to mend his hurting heart.

A call never came, instead there was a knock on your door 2 hours after the date started. You cautiously walked to the door and breathed out a nervous breath when you saw that it was Johnny. Johnny leaning forward and back on the balls of his feet. That could mean anything!

You pulled the door open with a smile, "Hey, Johnny. Are you okay? I wasn't expecting you!" Lie, you were. That's why you had your cute lounge wear on and not your high school PE shirt and grungy shorts.

He waltzed past you, plopping right onto the couch, "God, that was a great date. I mean it. I like it's been a while since I connected with someone like that."

"W-what?"

"Yeah, I mean we have all the same interests. We laughed the whole time and the conversation flowed so easily. Is it stupid to say I might be falling in love after the first date?" Johnny looked at you with raised brows and a smile.

Your mouth open and closed, you willed your brain to send the signals to your vocal cords- speak! But nothing came out. Instead the signals got mixed and your eyes were filling with tears.

Johnny's eyes went from humor to concern, he stood immediately pulling you into his embrace which only made you cry harder. "Hey, hey, hey, what happened? If this is about you being single again, the right person will come around like they did for me," he cooed softly.

And if you weren't in love with him, his words would have made you laugh, but you are in love with him. Instead you just cried harder and tried to pull away from him.

"I just know that the perfect guy is out there for you. I know it. You'll find him when you least expect it and he'll just fit with you like a missing puzzle piece. Seriously, he's going to be great," Johnny reassured while rubbing a warm hand up and down your back.

A missing puzzle piece, a perfect fit. But you and Johnny were the perfect fit. You fit perfectly in his arms, against his side, hugging him. Who could possibly be a better fit than you? Who could be a better match than you? Who could be a better match for you when Johnny was always right there?

You pulled away, wiping your tears on the sleeve of your shirt. "I just started feeling so sick. I'm gonna go to bed. Lock the door behind you please?"

Johnny eyed you warily, choosing not to press, "yeah, of course. I'll text you tomorrow alright?"

Your heart skipped a beat, of course he'd want to talk to you tomorrow, "yeah, hopefully I'll feel better."

And hopefully by then he'd realize his date wasn't that great.

[iaure]

𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁; 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟthe dearest collection - part one/beloved 𓆩♡𓆪 part two/prized 𓆩♡𓆪 part three/devoted 𓆩♡𓆪 part four/desperate 𓆩♡𓆪 part five/blind 𓆩♡𓆪 part six/watcher 𓆩♡𓆪 part seven/ardor 𓆩♡𓆪 part eight/fervor this is very heavily inspired by @//clusterfuck-yandere's yandere leon headcanons; please check out their works. this is something of a love letter to their puppy obsession series.

yandere leon s. kennedy headcanons; reader is a survivor of raccoon city. tw: general yandere behaviour, stalking, harassment, ptsd, mentions of panic attacks, entrapment

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ wait a week, muerte...a week off...but i am apparently incapable of that. i'm certainly not complaining. these next two chapters are going to be much shorter, as there's more plot as well as giving your coworker a name, but leon's perspective is coming next!! i've also been getting into welcome home arg; it looks very fun!!

things had been dying down.

♡ your life had been smoothing itself out after that night with Leon, and he'd been taking it upon himself to walk you home when you close.

♡ you've been more relaxed, especially if he stays the night. he doesn't sleep in your bed, sure, but it's nice just having him around.

♡ the eyes on you seemed to have gone away, and things in your house stopped moving.

♡ or, at least, you wanted to tell yourself that.

♡ but some pieces are clicking, forming one horrible, ugly puzzle.

♡ you figured Leon had always been a bit focus on you. that much was obvious.

♡ but you began actually seeing how he treats you.

♡ he's clingy, dedicated; it's almost like worship.

♡ his eyes are always on you, no matter what.

♡ if you weren't in his line of sight, he'd evidently freak, or at least be upset-the bed incident was a great example.

♡ he knew everything about you, but you knew next to nothing about him.

♡ his birthday? his favourite colour? family? nothing.

♡ all you knew was his name, and that he survived raccoon city, which you weren't even sure of at this point.

♡ how much of what he said was a lie to get close to you?

♡ and his name! it took you far, far longer than you would've liked to put together what K meant - K for Kennedy.

and it broke your heart.

♡ because Leon was just so sweet.

♡ he was so caring to you, carrying groceries and hanging out with you and at one point even attempting to cook you dinner, which ended up burnt beyond belief.

♡ you didn't want to accept the idea that it was him doing all of this.

♡ but everything only made sense if it was him.

♡ maybe he used to sneak into your house, but your superintendent changed your locks and you'd been inviting him into your apartment.

♡ maybe he'd been satisfied from that.

♡ either way, you weren't sure how to handle it.

♡ lately, you've been trying to avoid him.

♡ you haven't been able to make him not walk you home, not yet, but for different shifts you've had some peace.

♡ he hasn't been watching you the way he did before-not lately.

�� but he has been mopey.

♡ about half of the time, if he tries coming into your work, you hide in the back.

♡ your coworker, bless her, always covered for you.

♡ if Leon asked where you were, she'd respond that you were were working in the back, smooth as butter.

♡ Leon would mope, and ask to see you, but your coworker would make up a smooth lie. your favourite had been that your boss had gotten upset with how distracted Leon had been making you, so you'd been placed in the back to be more 'efficient'.

♡ Leon would leave with his tail between his legs.

♡ speaking of your coworker, you'd be confiding in her more!

♡ her name was Selia, and she was a sorely needed ally.

♡ she was much taller than you, and younger by about a year; but she acted mature, and had a sharp tongue and quick wit, so working with her was always pleasant.

♡ she was the only other employee at the bakery aside from the owner, and she often was in charge of the baking itself.

♡ you confessed to her about your suspicions with Leon, and she took it upon herself to try and help you.

♡ she acted as though he'd committed something far more vicious, accusing him of capital crimes.

♡ and as much as the situation sucked, it made you laugh.

♡ you knew Leon was picking up on it, too.

♡ he'd been more irritable to Selia and other people that hung around you, and far more clingy to you specifically.

♡ he never got mad, but you hated to think just what his version of mad would look like.

slowly, you began replacing Leon with Selia.

♡ it was Selia walking you home, Selia was your pizza buddy, Selia stayed up with you on the phone when you were having a panic attack; Selia was your friend.

♡ there were a handful of times where Leon would go out of his way to catch you.

♡ he'd show up during another (surprisingly frequent) power outage, geared with his wonder bag and board games, only to discover that you had invited Selia instead.

♡ he'd come literally running down the block, trying to catch up to you during a closing shift

♡ but he'd stop dead in his tracks - literally skidding to a stop - a yard away from the door when he'd see Selia holding the lock for you so you could get your things together.

♡ and you knew it hurt him.

♡ but how else were you going to cut him and his creepy antics off unless it was cold turkey?

♡ but sometimes, through the backdoor, during those power outages, during those moments after closing, you'd catch his eye.

♡ and the look he gave was haunting.

♡ it's as though the soul was sucked out of him, every time.

the guilt was going to eat you whole.

♡ there was the off chance that it wasn't Leon - that it was some other creep doing this. that little chance that you were just putting him through emotional torture, for no reason.

♡ but who else could it possibly be?

♡ who else would fit the profile so well?

♡ and were you willing to take that chance? were you willing to bet that it wasn't Leon, only for him to do something drastic? like kidnap you?

♡ no, you thought not.

♡ after a week of your forcible separation, you thought Leon got the message.

♡ you didn't feel him on you anymore; he didn't show up to your shifts. he was...gone.

♡ you walked home alone for the first time in forever, and all was well.

♡ you eventually got to the point, after three or four days, that you assumed he simply gave up.

♡ he'd find some other person who was pretty and smart and just the fit for him, you were sure.

♡ you began walking home more and more, against Selia's advice. But you didn't listen.

♡ it was a warm spring evening that you got home, and off-beat, everything was fine.

♡ you set your bag down, hoping to simply change out of your work clothes and then melt into your couch.

♡ in the middle of you changing, though, you heard a weird noise.

♡ it was by your door; a weird sort of 'thunk'. you wondered if some dipshit kids outside had thrown something against it.

♡ you huffed.

♡ once you finished changing, you stepped out of your room, ready to call some parents.

♡ but your heart stopped cold.

♡ Leon was in your living room.

♡ immediately, you looked to your front door, but he'd apparently already thought of that.

♡ he had put his wonder bag in front of it, and you could see inside several, at least dozens, of weights-the fabric of the bag was fraying the seams, several weights spilling over onto the floor. it was something that Leon would have trouble with, let alone you.

♡ it took a second for you to look back at Leon.

♡ and he looked...good.

♡ he'd done his hair, dressed in nice clothes, and had a set of flowers on the coffee table. if the situation was so nauseating, then it'd be almost cute how nervous he looked.

♡ he rose, playing with his hands

"we need to talk."

𓂋

ʚ♡ɞ taglist

@theybotomy ⸜❤︎⸝‍ @kujosuke ⸜❤︎⸝‍  @je-suis-argent-miel ⸜❤︎⸝‍ @xxacademy

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART TWELVE

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: The day before Wyatt's birthday brings you a series of information on Jack you didn't expect, revealing he was a lot more broken than you thought

(This is the twelfth chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO ELEVEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: angst, hurt, mentions of depression, mentions of implied suicide attempt, fluff, mom!reader

A/N: This was a difficult chapter because it ended up being a lot more angsty than I intended, but it felt right to the story, I hope you besties enjoy it ❤️🥺

4.1k words

You bit your lips as you took the road that led you to Jack's ranch. You felt an anxiety creeping up your chest, at the same time Wyatt couldn't take his excitement of going back to his papa's house. It was going to be a big weekend for your baby boy: his birthday party happening on Saturday on the ranch for the very first time. It was a huge event for Wyatt as kids are absolutely obsessed with their birthdays and for Jack too, being the first birthday he'd get to spend with his boy. Not only that, for the first time, his ranch would welcome a party and be filled with people, kids running around, music, laughter and everything Jack's lonely heart had ever wished for since the moment he'd bought that ranch.

Jack had asked you to go on Friday afternoon, he had a surprise for Wyatt and he would like for his son to be able to enjoy it before the party, so there wouldn't be too many kids wanting to play too and stealing his thunder. 

For the past two weeks, you'd been in contact all the time, for visiting as your son and his dad couldn't stay away from each other, growing attached each passing day and because you and him needed to plan the party. Jack had assured you all you needed to do was to decide decoration, food, and pick any other details and he would make it happen, regardless of how much it would cost. He was willing to make your son's little dreams come true and he wasn't going to spare any money. 

However, as the co-parenting part was going great, your relationship with Jack was someone else. After that morning at your apartment, he just took his distance from you; he was physically there several times during the week, playing and spending time with Wyatt and planning the details of the party with you, buying the three of you dinner from your favorite places or ice cream for dessert, he was still kind, generous and polite, but he was emotionally distant from you, understanding that you didn't want anything to do with that old cowboy. So now he respectfully addressed you by your name and only that, no sugar, sweetheart or darling, he was keeping respectful. He also hadn't mentioned anything related to his love life nor yours, so you had no idea if he tried Tinder again or going on any dates, the thought still bothering you even if you tried acting like it didn't, but it also puzzled you that Jack hadn't said anything about Frankie either. It didn't take big brains to assume the cowboy hated the pilot and vice versa, but you expected Jack to go full maniac and have someone at Statesman get a hold of Frankie's classified file or criminal records and whatever, and your guess was that Frankie was clean, otherwise Jack would've said something already. Sometimes you thought Jack's reaction was an exaggeration but overall it felt reassuring to know he would do his best to keep you and Wyatt safe. 

As for you and Frankie, things were… slow. He had some jobs to do here and there and you were quite thankful for that, it's not that you didn't want Frankie anymore, but you thought that maybe you and him weren't on the same page anymore, or perhaps you never were and your whole relationship was just a way to try and run away from the haunting ghost that was your former relationship with Jack Daniels. You had even invited Frankie to the party - especially after Jack gave you a free hand to do whatever you wanted to - because you thought it would be nice for him to bring his daughter Melissa along. She was a year older than Wyatt and though you'd never met her just as Frankie had never met your son, you assumed it would be cool, it was another kid for your son to play with on his special day. 

Wyatt was a giggly mess, not containing himself as he couldn't wait to see his daddy and play on the ranch. You felt your heart warming with love, at your son's happiness, having his daddy around was essential for his blossoming into a more extrovert and confident child. 

You parked in front of the ranch, finding it odd Jack's bronco wasn't there, but instead of overthinking things, you helped Wyatt unbuckle and get out of the car. You held his little hand as you walked inside, but he immediately ran away at the same time Helen welcomed you with a hug. She was so glad to see you and your son again, and especially after she learned you and Jack were on good terms, even if it meant you were friends and nothing more, it was good to see Jack smile, go back to riding his horses, excited about things once more, from one who watched him from afar, it seemed he went back to life, after getting his family back. 

"Dada???" Wyatt squealed at the top of his little lungs once he got into the house, he thought it was odd for him not to welcome them, but his attention was immediately shifted to the coffee table, where he was the most adorable horse action figures he'd seen. Helen smiled at him "you're daddy is at work, but he left these horses for you" she explained as Wyatt rushed to the table, sitting on the floor and immediately began playing with them "did you know your daddy was your size when he played with his little horses? His mama found the box she kept them and sent it over to your daddy, so he could give it to you" Helen explained to your son in her gentle voice, while her hand ran through his soft curls. Wyatt smiled widely, so entertained by the toy, and no matter if the action of time was visible, he fell in love with each little horse of the set. It was a simple one, and you could have a small glimpse into Jack's humble but also very happy childhood, and suddenly a suffocating need to see your cowboy appeared. As if Helen read your mind, she smiled "Jack is back at Statesman, he went to hand out some invitations for tomorrow, but he shouldn't take long" 

You nodded and followed her into the kitchen, knowing your son would be quietly playing by himself and accepting Helen's cup of tea. 

"A penny for your thoughts?" She tilted her head and chuckled at your frowned expression "I can see something is going on in this pretty little head of yours, honey and I know it has to do with a certain cowboy…" 

Your cheeks heated up immediately and you looked around a little embarrassed to see you were too easy to read, or perhaps Jack told her everything that happened, it wouldn't be too surprising if he had, as he often got very chatty once he drank a lot, and Helen played the role of friend very often too, whenever she didn't have to act like Jack's mother at his irresponsible behavior. 

"What has he told you about the latest events?" You raised your eyebrow and let the woman make an account of what Jack had told her about his attempt of going on a date and everything else that happened after that. "...He was very upset when he got home that morning, I assumed he had done something bad, but I see he was just feeling rejected; though I can see you aren't looking like a million bucks either, so I'm guessing the situation messed up with the two of you"

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Helen… I try so hard to fight my feelings for Jack, but they're still so strong, even after everything he did to me, I can't help but love him. But at the same time I'm scared of giving into this love, how can I trust him? He even talked about trying for a little sister for Wyatt, but Helen, how can I get pregnant with his child after everything he did to me?" You said as your eyes were full of tears, you were just too confused and scared of what things would be like, of what people would talk about if you ever decided to give in and try things with Jack. 

"Y/N!" Helen chuckled "you are overthinking things right now… a baby? Sure, that's a situation to think about, but no one is asking you to jump into that right now… Jack is asking you for a chance! A chance of taking you on a date, of showing you he can take care of you and Wyatt and that you will be happy with him" Helen took your hand and caressed it happy "Jack loves you and Wyatt, he's a man who really loves his family and I know he's done some real bad shit, but he's proving to you he's turning into a better person, isn't he?" She smiled as you nodded and bit your lips "no one is telling you to jump right into his bed, but let him in, you want him to get near too, don't you? Give him a chance, spend the weekend with him, feeling what it would be like to be an actual family with your cowboy" Helen smiled but a shadow crossed her face as something dark flickered in her eyes and she cleared her throat "I'm sorry if I seem insisting, I don't mean to make you embarrassed but I just worry about Jack so much… but ever since you walked into his life… Well, ever since he walked back into your lives and you accepted him, he has improved, you know? Because he was bad…" 

"Yeah, I know… he told me about the mission and all" you always felt sad when you thought about that, looking at Helen and seeing how she went serious 

"What about before the mission? Did he tell you what happened?" 

"No… what else happened? Did he get hurt?" You gulped, as your anxiety was increasing by the minute you realized the subject was even more serious than you thought. Helen sighed and got up, going to the kitchen window and checking to see if Jack's bronco wasn't there, she knew he wouldn't forgive her if he overheard her telling you what had happened.

"You have to promise me you're not gonna say anything to him at all, please, he's gonna be really angry if he knows I told you… he doesn't like talking about that at all" 

"I-I promise, now please Helen, tell me already, you're making me anxious…" 

The older woman sighed and rubbed the back of her head "Jack's behavior had been really erratic, especially the months before he decided to finally go after you and Wyatt. I noticed he seemed to be more and more depressed, as he was dwelling into his loneliness and guilt, and that's when the heavy drinking began. I mean, you do know he drinks, but it wasn't just his usual drink, it was more, and he was mixing up alcohol too, something I had never seen him do… he's a classy man, and he likes whiskey and that's about it" 

She took a breath and served the two of you some more tea, taking a longer sip and swallowing slowly, before she could talk again 

"And with the drinking, it also came the dangerous behavior… it was first the driving and drinking, he had always been extra careful with that, but suddenly, it was like it didn't really matter anymore to him, he would just get drunk and speed up whenever he needed to leave home. Then we had the horse incident… Jack decided to ride one weekend, he hadn't been around his horses very much, and especially not Silver Pony and I guess it's because it reminded him of you, but still, he went riding and he didn't get his saddle correct and he fell from the horse, and Y/N, you know Jack and how good he is at horseback riding, you know he wouldn't simply forget to fix his saddle. Well, he fell from the horse and the doctor said it was a miracle he hadn't broken any bones and if he had hit his head in the fall…" Helen sighed and watched as you looked at her in horror, your eyes wide at what you had just started learning from him. You had no idea until what extent he was broken, but that made you hurt in a way it was impossible to explain. 

"And there was this evening I called him because dinner was ready, but he wasn't answering. It was just odd, Jack isn't the kind of guy to ignore, so I went to his room and I found him passed out… He'd washed down some sleeping pills with whiskey and god… I don't even like to think what would've happened. Of course he denies it and says it's an accident, but when the Statesman forced him to go to therapy, I sighed relieved, and when he first came back home after spending time with you and Wyatt and I saw the beautiful smile in his face, I prayed so hard he would find his way in life, and of course I know you're not a savior and it's not obligation to save anyone, but it's important to know you have such positive effect on him, and well, if you two are meant to be, there's really no other way out of this, you'll stay together" 

By the time Helen was finished telling you those things, you realized your tears were running down your cheeks; you sniffled and tried to wrap your head around the fact that if it weren't for fate, or a little divine intervention, your cowboy Jack, would be dead by then. It was a suffocating feeling, there wasn't a loss, but the mere prospect of it was enough to make your stomach swirl and your chest get too heavy to breathe. 

"Dada!!!" Your son's voice was enough to break the spell you were under and you quickly dried your tears as best as you could, being able to hear Jack's heavy boots walking and his voice cheering and talking to Wyatt. You and Helen looked at each other and you tried your best to pretend you hadn't been talking about Jack for the past half an hour, as he walked into the kitchen, he politely greeted you and at that moment you knew you'd give everything to hear him call you sugar.

The cowboy was carrying Wyatt in his arms and tickling his tummy, loving to hear his happy giggles, but frowned immediately as he saw your crying face 

"What happened?" He asked concerned and took a step closer, 

"Uh, nothing… I was telling Helen about my mom" you mouthed the end of the sentence so Wyatt wouldn't be curious or wouldn't get upset at the mention of his grandma "she's not coming to the party because I didn't invite her after what happened…" you added to your half lie, as you hadn't invited her at all especially because she would give you shit about letting Jack throw the party and also because you were sure she would end up screwing up the party to one of you, if not to everyone. 

Jack bought your excuse as he felt sad to know you were having problems with your mom, of course he still felt guilty about that, but he was aware that you have always had problems with her, so it's not like it'd started just because of him. Yet, the cowboy took a step closer and took his hand to your face, his thumb wiping the last tear that insisted on rolling down your cheek. 

"I'm sorry about that, sugar, but pretty girls like yourself shouldn't cry… ain't that right Wyatt? Don't you think that pretty girls like mama shouldn't cry?" He talked to your son, who joined the conversation excitedly, at the same time you leaned into Jack's touch, before he could shy away. 

There it was: sugar. 

You had no idea how much you'd missed that until you heard it again from his lips after weeks of awkwardness around each other. You didn't think twice before wrapping your arms around Whiskey and burying your face into his chest you sniffed into his scent and playfully nibbled your son's little legs, making him squealed in pure happiness. You felt the cowboy's arms wrapping around your body and keeping you in that embrace, his family's embrace. 

You looked up at Jack's puzzled face and smiled big at him 

"I guess I missed you" you rested your head against his chest once more and felt when his lips pecked the top of your head, and chuckled when Wyatt did the same, imitating his daddy in being an authentic southern gentleman.

                             •••

Jack had kindly asked Helen to set things out in the backyard so he could grill his famous burger for dinner. He knew you used to love them when you were together and he was hoping his son would also take a liking to it as well, but first, he was overly excited to show the two of you, Wyatt's birthday gift. He wanted it to be a day before his actual birthday so the other kids wouldn't make a fuss about it and he could play calmly. He called you to follow them, placing his own stetson back on and handed Wyatt's small one. You felt kind of disappointed Jack didn't have one for you, after all, he had said he would get you a hat too, but you felt sad to realize he probably assumed you'd been just joking. He guided you towards the stables, Wyatt was very excited, his arms wrapped tight around Jack's neck and little eyes widening the second he spotted the new farm fence right next to the horses. You were also extremely curious to know what the cowboy had come up to your baby. 

"Do you know how to read?" He asked Wyatt who shook his head a little confused as he stared into a sign at the gate of the dence, Jack smiled sweetly at him "then papa's gonna teach you. Look!" He pointed at the W and his fingers followed the sequence

"W… Y… A… T… T…" He read out loud "Wyatt's ranch, that's what it says baby boy, it's your ranch" Jack explained to him excitedly with a shit eating grin, opening the gate and pulling Wyatt down the moment he spotted the pony his daddy got for him.

The little boy felt he was going simply insane, as his present was also his new best friend, he immediately hugged the little pony which was very gentle and easy going towards kids. He loved how the pony looked like a tiny little version of Silver Pony and he looked up at his parents, his eyes had happy tears, being so emotional to have the best birthday of his little life. Your son clung to you and Jack, and sobbed happy tears, at the same time he giggled when the pony nudged his hand gently. He sniffled and leaned into his daddy's soothing touch, who dried his tears and smiled

"W-what's the name daddy? Of my pony?" He managed to ask, and Jack chuckled "she's yours, baby, you can pick whichever name you want" he caressed his soft curls and smiled at you. 

Wyatt nodded and caressed the pony cute head, thinking very hard as he looked at you "she looks like Silvew Pony, mommy…" he said melting your heart, so you just nodded and stroked his cheek "yes she does… maybe Silver Pony is the mommy and she is the daughter" you suggested, knowing it wasn't possible but for Wyatt's innocent head it made so much sense he gasped. He held her head gently and looked into her eyes, showing how good he was at handling animals, again, another trait inherited from his dad senior agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels 

"Silvew Staw" he said proudly. 

You didn't know exactly how long you and Jack spent watching Wyatt play with Silver Star, but it didn't matter as your little boy was thrilled. He was so happy and wouldn't stop giggling and cuddling the pony, kind of treating her like a puppy, while you and Jack took turns between watching and playing along. When evening came, Jack said it was time for dinner, though Wyatt didn't want to leave Silver Star, which caused the three of you to take the pony back to the house and let Wyatt play with her while Jack worked on grilling his burgers. Helen had set everything up, and your heart clenched as you saw she'd placed everything you loved, your favorite bread, your favorite sauces and fries too, knowing how much you loved when the cowboy made his burgers or steak.

You held Wyatt who sat on your lap exhausted and downed a box of apple juice, as he watched his dad make dinner. You could tell your son was tired but extremely happy as he couldn't stop smiling. You snuggled him and rested your chin on his head, loving how warm your son was. You could tell he was hungry but he was so tired he didn't even seem to notice. 

You on the other hand, nearly salivated the moment Jack served you your burger, you ate it so quickly, savoring each bite and not one single bit embarrassed about your satisfied moans, Jack thought it was quite amusing and couldn't stop watching you, feeling happy at that moment of pure domesticity, he extended his hand and placed it above yours, stroking it gently, you bit your lips at the realization of how big his hand was and what they were capable of doing. He pointed at the lawn and the two of you laughed softly as you saw Wyatt and Silver Star napping on the grass together. The toddler was snuggling his pony and that made you very happy.

You looked back at Jack and took his hand again 

"Thank you, for everything… Today's been wonderful and it's already the best birthday he's ever had, even if his birthday is technically tomorrow… and his present is amazing" 

He chuckled and caressed your knuckles with his thumb "anything for our son, sugar and anything for you too, all you gotta do is ask" 

"I know you were there Jack" you suddenly said and he frowned in confusion "the day I gave birth to our son, I know you'd been there, in the hospital… I saw you, you went there to see us, but I was too feverish to say anything and in the morning my mom assured me I had hallucinated" you sighed sadly and Jack immediately left his chair and sat next to you. 

You looked into his eyes and there it was, his soft, teary eyes, full of hurt and regret, but at the same time making you see he was still your Jack, your cowboy

"I-I tried holding Wyatt, I really did, but your mom told me not to, she said you'd given orders to specifically not let me get near Wyatt" he swallowed "I'm sorry I didn't insist more, maybe if I had held our son, I wouldn't have left, hell, I'm sure I wouldn't have left, I'm sorry Y/N, I know that you will never forgive me and I know I'm not worthy of your forgiveness but I wish I could show you I mean business when I say I want you and Wyatt, I want to make things right between us and our son" he said in his desperate way once more, even after he had vowed not to beg for you any longer. 

You stroked his cheek "I'm confused and I know I make you confused too, Jack, we're like cat and mouse now, I wish I could just take a decision and stick to it, I wish I could be rational with my feelings, but feelings are never rational" you said "the rational thing would be moving on from each other, me finding a nice guy to rebuild my life and you finding yourself a new sugar, someone you can give yourself fully into your relationship now that your late family is behind you, but we both know this is not possible" 

You blinked some of your tears "I wanna try if you wanna try, Jack… I wanna believe and have faith in you, so I guess I want a chance for us to see if we can still be a family, but I also need some time, I need to talk to Frank-" 

Jack interrupted you by placing a peck on your lips, he didn't even want to hear you mention that other guy's name. He thought his heart would burst out of his chest at any minute, it was like his dream was coming true. 

"I don't want to just jump into your bed Jack, I want us to do things right, restart, get to know each other again, because we are different people after everything that happened… all I'm trying to say is: will you be patient with me?" 

"I'll do anything for you, sugar" he leaned towards you and kissed your lips, as you two decided to take a step together towards the future.

____

A/N: Hi besties, did you like the chapter? I hope so ❤️ Whiskey is the best dad in the world or what? And for a brief moment I considered making him also gift reader with a baby goat because 🤏🤏🤏

[undermine-the-instinct]

Crush or Chance?

● Bard!reader masterlist ● Next part.... ●Warnings: None ● Wc: 5.9K

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and shame on the both of us. So what be said for a fourth time?

(Or in other words, Kaveh met you long before you knew him.)

If he's being a little honest, Kaveh has a bit of a crush on you. 

Or maybe it's something more like a bittersweet admiration, the same way you'd look at phoenix and think, this will end in flames.

The more he worked, the more clients he contracted the more dissatisfied he became. Functionality over art, structure over beauty, efficiency over soul. He felt like life was being drained out of him. And after a while, he started thinking; Why should I? What was the point? However great he was in the eyes of others, no matter what praises they heap onto him, he is but one person. What could he do on his own?

And how arrogant of him to hope to even try! What has he ever truly done? Even his Magnum opus; A palace that doesn't even belong to him and has buried him in a lifelong debt. He was never really ever going to amount to much.

 It was during one of these depressing bouts of his that he met you.

Bars are cesspools, collecting tears and drunken spurs, but also joy. Like his polar opposite you lit up the room, and he couldn't help but feel drawn. Your voice resounded throughout the space, and it stirred something deep in his heart. He felt like he had just found the answer to a puzzle he was grilling over for so long, and seemingly, for no reason at all. He was alive! He was in a bar! Shouldn't he be joining in on the merry?

And so he danced the night away. He sang and greeted old friends and he paid for all his drinks that night. It wasn't until the place was closing that he thought about the bard that stirred his heart and feet into action. But by then you were long gone. If it's meant to be I'll find them again, he thought, and began the trek home.

He didn’t get to meet you that night. He found you again though another day, dancing in the center of a crowd that had surrounded you. There was a man playing a fiddle, while another played on a flute. You were barefoot, a scarf around your waist trailing behind you in a ribbon of silk, a smile on your face. You weren't afraid to get too close to the crowd, you snapped fingers and captured a delighted stranger in your scarf, taking a child by the hand and twirling them around and around.

Mentioning art is the quickest way to end a conversation, is something that is generally known in Sumeru. But there was no conversation to be had here, there was only music and laughter, for the simple joy of being able to move. He felt like a bystander watching a moving painting.

Shouts sounded behind him, and as one the crowd turned back to see. Matra were approaching with scowls, a collective thunderstorm to usher the people on and disperse the crowd.

“Hey! You folks! You're under arrest for public misconduct and unsanctioned musical performance!”

“Uh, no we’re not!” with a last bow to the crowd, and a trilling sound from the flutist, you and your companions ran in opposite directions, gone like magpies in the wind. One second you're there and then you're gone. 

Kaveh wants to know what your name is. Who are you? 

“Oh, that pest? Just some runt from all the way in Monstadt,” a client frowns, deep and fissured.

“One of those traveling sorts, so let's hope that they pack up and get moving soon.”

“Have they been especially troublesome?” He scoffs at this and looks at Kaveh with wide disbelieving eyes.

“‘Especially trouble?’ Like you wouldn’t believe! You and I both know how the Akademiya hates those artsy types, and then this person shows up and decides to make a whole mockery of that. And for what? Out of spite? How childish.”

“I might have seen them around actually, at a few bars I've visited with some colleagues,” Kaveh supplies, refilling the man’s drink.

“They didn’t look like the sort to cause much trouble.” He’s a liar. As a matter of fact, that smile you wore back then spoke nothing but mystique and mischief. 

“Those Monstadt types always like to cause trouble. They had one revolution and think themselves all martyrs and rebels. Trust me, I’m older than you and I know. Remember that one girl who graduated from the Akademiya in two years? I even offered to sponsor that girl and look where she is now; working as a librarian in that grass field of all places,” he scowled.

“What a waste of talent. I’ve had enough of them, so let's hope this one hops over to Fontaine or something, they'd be welcomed over there I bet. Now, didn't we come here for something? The plans for my building, you got them?”

“Of course sir, right here…” This isn't the first time he's heard something like this, especially amongst his oldest clients. It's a shared sentiment, and it feels like something bitter and vindictive. He knocks back his own glass.

Kaveh doesn't know who you are, but he wonders; if you ever went to Fontaine, would his mother like you?

The next time he sees you is in a public garden. And he's late, he was supposed to be at a meeting with another client at least forty five minutes ago, but rushing along, the way you were just standing there caught his eye.

He can hardly see you above all the rolled blueprints and stuffed folders he's carrying, he forgot his bag and it was too late to go back and get it, but he could tilt his head back and get a clearer look at your form in the grass.

Standing in the shade and dappled sunlight of a great tree, barefoot and…posing. He followed your gaze to a book you had lying open in the grass, and saw a few poses and stands he half recognized, all hand drawn with notes in the margins.

You paid no mind to the odd looks or stares you were getting, the way that people gave you a wide berth of space, how some shook their heads and scurried their children on, the way that others would stop and stare before shaking themselves out of their reverie. Kaveh wasn’t part of either group, but he was still…watching you.

He must have been more obvious than most because you lifted your head just as you were stretching, tilting your head in question like a bird, an automatic smile on your face. Quizzical but warm. He tilted his head back at you, like the idiot he was, and your smile broke out wider. 

“Good morning to you too, stranger! What are you up to this fine morning?”

Him? You were speaking with him? He lifted up the filled blueprints he had in his arms, obscuring his face more. “Off to work. And, um, how about you?”

“Stretching! Or at least, pretending to.” You twirled a bit into your next position, so that you had your back to him now.

“You're not doing a very good job pretending.”

“Oh? Am I being too obvious?” There was mirth in your voice, amusement.

“You're doing an arabesque in a demi-plie, I think it's obvious.” You stumbled a little and whirled so fast to look at him that he wondered for a second if you could get whiplash. He was holding too many blueprints he could imagine it was hard to see anything other than his bob of his hair and his brows.

“...You know what an Arabesque is?” He shrugged carefully.

”My mother lives in Fontaine, and they are fond of performances there. I know a few terms.” He saw your expression fall a bit through the peeps of his papers, but you brightened up before he could say anything more.

“That's still more than most people I've talked to. What else do you know?”

Kaveh could see you, eager and open to a stranger like himself. He recalled the way the crowd clapped along with you when you were dancing in the street. The way you sang, loud and unabashed, like a thunderbird whose only job it was was to wake the world, to a prophecy now foretold. But he couldn’t tell the future, and he thought neither could you.

How naively brazen you are. How unapologetically bold. How lovely.

“...Aren't you afraid?”

“What?” Your face shuttered off into confusion but he went on.

“Sumeru isn't the most ideal place for musicians and artists. I’m sure you've felt the general attitude and atmosphere, so, what are you doing? Aren't you scared of the repercussions?”

“Repercussions?”

“The sages have the matra set on you. That's not a rumor-it's fact. Aren't you scared of what else they could do to you?’’

“Well yeah, of course I am? But what else am I supposed to do, change the way I live?” His eyes widen, while you scoff, kicking up your feet.

“I’ve said it before and I'll say it again, they’re frightened of us.”

“Frightened? Frightened of what?” What could the sages, the governing force and face of Sumeru, have to fear from the populace?

“Frightened of what we can do? What has humanity done when pushed against the corner, or forced inside the cave? What have we done when the night falls and the rain pours?” You spread out your arms and tilt your head towards the sky.

“We sing! We gather together to tell stories over our work, we dance around the fire, we paint the tales of our passages onto the cavern walls, all things we have done before the written word. Even then, when we learned to write and record our stories, we created fables and tall tales to tell one another.”

“After humans discovered how to read and write, civilization did start to advance, at a before unprecedented rate.,” He admits.

“Art is what pushed civilizations to prosperity. It continues to.  The only reason The Akademiya doesn't acknowledge this is because they don't see nor recognize everything as a form of art.”

“Isn’t that a bit naive though?” He shuffles the load in his arms.

“That sounds like romanticism to me.”

“It is. And what's wrong with that?” You shrug.

"Tell me, who embroiders those elegant robes they all wear? Who tills and plants their outdoor gardens? Who builds their offices and homes and buildings? Who cooks their food or carves their furniture? Art is intrinsic to humanity. It is inevitable, irrefutable. Are they trying to deny that?" You scowled.

"Do they not find these things lovely, and necessary? Do they think themselves above the divine craft of creation? Do theyhink themselves as Gods?" You scowled harder, but then sighed, letting your breath out in a single push.

"Hm. But, that's not the question you asked me, right?"

“....No.” Then you thought, tilted your head up to the sky and huffed out a laugh.

“Well, actually, yes I am. But what else can I do, change the way I live?...No. I’m going to continue as I've always have, and if that’s something that makes me a target, then that’s just what comes with the territory of being a star.” You grinned, bright.

“....There are rumors that the Akademyia will deploy the General Mahamatra to subdue you if you make any sort of big fuss.”

“Well, what kind of star doesn't have a scandal or two under their belt?” You grinned again, but wobbly at the corners, and take a good look at all the papers he's carrying.

‘I…hope I'm not keeping you up? You seemed to be in a bit of a hurry before–” He gasped, cutting you off.

"Oh Archons, yes! Damn it, I'm going to be so late!!” He got completely sidetracked!! He gave you a nod that he hoped you saw and ran off to his appointment. Hopefully the client was still there.

Life is art, and art is intrinsic to life, basically, right? If that's the way someone like you sees the world, maybe he can adopt that mindset.

And hopefully he'd find you again, and greet you properly this time, no matter what rumors you were embroiled in. He’ll leave it up to fate this time as well.  it's already led him to you twice before.

You're so pretty. Kaveh has a bit of a crush on you already.

He woke up to a dark familiar room, and a dull throbbing in his head.

This was familiar, and normal. He wasn't kidnapped, or anything. He must have gone drinking again, and stumbled his way back home. The question was how he got inside. He’s pretty sure that he lost his keys several days ago and hasn't yet found the time to go get a new pair made. So the question stands…

Actually, the question can wait. His mouth feels like it's full of dust and cotton, and he needs water. That's his first priority.

His feet are bare and the floor cool as he pads his way over to the kitchen, trying to rub the heaviness out of his eyes. 

When he reaches the kitchen he stops, and rubs at them again because what are you doing sitting at the kitchen island talking to his jerk of a roommate?

“Oh, you're up.” You stand and walk over to him, reaching out like he needs steadying.

“What are you doing here?”

“We went out drinking and I carried you home, remember?”

“Oh, I remember of course, I wasn't talking to you though dear, I was talking to the man standing there like a mother ready to catch her kid sneaking back inside.”

“Because that's exactly what you did.” The bastard had a steaming cup up to his face, not even bothering to look at him. “How did you get in without your keys?”

“We used the key under the mat. I lost my keys, so how else?”

“I had taken the key and hidden it somewhere else.”

“What? Why would you hide the key?!”

“Because then you'd lose that one too, obviously.”

“Tch. Wait, then how did…” You laugh and shuffle a little, culprit.

“Yeah, sorry, this is my fault. I really wanted to get Kaveh into his bed so I kinda…picked the lock? It’s not broken or anything but still…” You lower your head in apology.

“I wasn’t willing to be patient, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I'm sure you were in a hurry.” Al haitham sighs in reply and Kaveh bristles.

“What was that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. What do you think I meant?”

“I think you know exactly what you were insinuating.”

“Then why don't you spell it out for me?” He finally looked at him, tri-colored eyes gleaming oddly in the light. He looked…Apprehensive? No, that was just irritation, as usual.

Kaveh clicks his tongue in annoyance and turns back to you.

“See? What did I tell you about this guy? You don't need to apologize to this jerk, alright? You’re perfectly fine.”

“Oh? Talking behind my back now are you.”

Kaveh scoffs, heat curling in his chest. Or maybe just the leftover alcohol.  “It's nothing you wouldn't outright say yourself, so no need to ponder what I’ve said directly. I only spoke the truth, which is even sadder if you ask me.”

“Okay, stop it, that's enough,” You step between the two of them, frowning.

“There is no need for this petty back and forth. It’s late and we should all be in bed already. In fact,” You turn to him, “You were sleeping when I left you, do you need something?”

“...Were you two talking?”

“Just…greeting each other. He came in not too long after we did.”

Another cup sits on the table, softly steaming and obviously yours. It hasn't been long, but you’ve been here for more than a few minutes at least.

You scratch the back of your head with a sheepish grin. “Maybe I should have waited, then I wouldn’t have needed to break in.”

“No harm no foul.” Kaveh’s mouth gapes open when Alhaitham waves you off.

“‘No harm no foul?’ Have you lost your mind?! Are you sick?!”

“I'm perfectly fine you fool,” He sighs through his nose.

“I just expect as much behavior from any of your companions. Nothing was harmed in the end so its fine, I’ll just have the locks changed tomorrow.” He drinks from the cup, and looks up at him.

“I hope you know I’m not paying for your own set of keys.”

“What?! Why not–”

“Kaveh,” You interject. “Are you alright? You were dead asleep when I set you down.”

He groans, rubbing his forehead.

“About that, Thanks for carrying me all the way back here. I was the one who invited you out but you ended up taking care of me.”

“Well, you let me pick the place so I guess it's even between us. Did you get thirsty or something?”

He nods. “Then go lay back down, I'll bring it to you.”

“What? I can't have you serve me under my roof.”

Alhaitham snorts. “‘Your roof?’ Technically its–”

“Ah ah ah!” You cut him off with a raise of your voice and a sharp look, Kaveh grins from behind your shoulder. Alhaitham’s eyes widen by your audacity, and by the archons are you lovely. You turn back to him.

“It's fine. You're the one who needs to rest so let me help you out. Go lay down.”

“Well. if you insist.” He turns and starts the trek back to the room, and the house is quiet enough that he can hear your lowered voices as he walks off. He can't help but feel that you sent him away so that you could say something, or finish talking with Alhaitham. But why would you?

He has a hand on the knob, shutting his door when the thought strikes him, Why is Alhaitham even up at this hour? Sure, sometimes he'd get back late from his scribe duties or whatever, but that was rare. And it's not like he went drinking out late that often (as if he had people to go with him).

And beyond that, why was he talking with you? Of course you were amazing and charming in your own right but people like the both of you don't mesh very well, and with your reputation, it was best to avoid him. As The Scribe, he was technically a Matra, after all.

Oh fuck he’s a matra.

He's just about to go swing the door open to dash to your rescue when it swings open of its own accord, and there you were with a glass of water, wide eyed to see him there.

He grabs your shoulders and tries to turn you to steer you back, but damn it you’re strong. You don’t budge.

“Uh, buddy? Are you alright? What's going on?”

“You have to get out of here, like right now.”

“What, why? Can we calm down for a second?” 

“Nonono, you can’t, you have to go now–” He tries to grab you and pick you up around the waist, but you spin around behind him, grab him by his collar and drag him inside the room.

“I’m being serious!” You shut the door, a laugh under your breath.

“I’m sure you are, so explain yourself first.”

“My roommate, he’s the Grand Scribe.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So he’s technically a Matra. And I wouldn’t put it behind him to do something so you need to… like, go, before he reports you or something! One word and the matra would come swarming in here like flies to honey.”

“But he won’t.”

“Darling listen–”

“But he won’t. Not only have I already done my community service, paid my fines, did my time and stayed out of trouble, he actually wanted to thank me.”

What? “Thank you for what?”

“For getting you inside quietly. He just came back from work he said, and didn’t want to deal with any of your drunken shenanigans. So he said it's alright that I picked the lock.”

“He told you it's alright?”

“Yeah, as long as I use the extra key next time.”

“What?!” He threw his hands up in the air.

“He told you where the secret key is?”

“Yep. And he said that he's gonna give me a copy of the new one.” You pop the ‘p’.

“And sorry, the stipulation that I can use it is that I’m not allowed to let you know where it is.” He sucks his teeth and they laugh, reaching out to tug the sleeve of his shirt.

“Sorry love. But come now, take off those scarves so you can lay down, alright? It's late.” And something goes warm and gooey when you use that soft tone of voice, so Kaveh does exactly that, and takes the glass from you with a grateful look when you hand it to him.

“Does your head hurt?” 

“Just a little. Not as bad as it usually does.”

“See? That's why you drink water before you pregame.”

“Well now I know for the next time.” He takes a big gulp and hands the rest of the glass to you, waving it away when you try to put it back in his hands.

“Oh, fine.” You finish it yourself then, and Kaveh falls back into the sheets, heavy lidded once more.

“How come you’re not drunk or stumbling, hm? It’s not fair.”

“Oh, I am drunk,” you giggle, “I just know how to hide it really well.”

“It's not fair.”

“That’s because I'm from Monstadt dear, my blood has at least a 10% alcohol content.” Kaveh sighs and covers his eyes, drinking in the quiet. You’re sitting next to him, humming softly under your breath, a brush away from fully singing.

“Hey, why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Call me those pet names. Like honey or dear or love. Why do you do that?” He looks and catches the tail end of your shrug.

“Because you're my friend. You’re like, the only real friend I've made in this entire damn nation, so I gotta be a little sweet with you, yeah?"

“Sweet with me?” He turns so he's facing you.

“Yeah! You make syrup with honey and not salt, right?” You smile, gold flashing at your throat in the low lamp light.

This close he can see the warm flush that the alcohol has given you, the way you give your smiles even more easily than you normally do, eyes soft and direct.

If he’s being a little honest, Kaveh has a bit of a crush on you. There's no other way to put it. He's so excited to see you, whenever he can, whenever you can, and he wants to see you now more than ever. He wishes you didn’t have to hide so often because he wants to be seen out in public with you, not sneaking like teenagers to some seedy bar, where people are too drunk or too downtrodden to care who comes in.

You…like those kinds of places though, odd as you are. You order a drink, and as soon as you down it you're tuning up an instrument and springing into song. By the third song the whole bar or tavern is joining in, and tears are replaced with smiles, at least for that night.

“Will you stay the night?”

You laugh, again. “And where would I sleep, silly?”  

“Right here. Right next to me.”

“Oh, I could never.”

“But you could.”

“I could. But I won't.” You move to get off the bed and Kaveh shoots up, grabbing onto your sleeve.

“Then you can have the bed. Just, stay here. For now. Until morning.”

You chew the inside of your cheek, and his heart while you're at it, while he waits for your answer. Maybe it's because of the way he implores you, or this quiet moment of the night, but you sigh and he knows you’ve given in.

“The bed is big enough for the both of us. Scoot over.” He does as he's told and hopes his face isn't giving his excitement away. He slides under the covers while you slip off your outer layers, and soon enough he can feel you slither beneath the sheets next to him.

“You want to keep the lamp on?”

“No, turn it off.”

“Alright.” The room floods in darkness, and you settle back down.

He’s had a couple sleepovers before. Although, the majority of these were before his father’s…incident, while he was still a very young boy. The others were during his Akademiya days, and were most often just him and his colleagues passing out after days of working on a project non-stop.

So this was new. He’s perfectly aware of his and your bodies; every shift, every position, the way your breathing sounds. He wonders how he’s gonna fall asleep like this.

“Kaveh?”

“Yes?”

“Are you up?”

“Yeah. How else could I answer you?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” You giggle. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did love.”

“Another question, silly.”

“Of course.” You wriggle a bit till you're laying on your stomach, face towards him.

“Why didn't you come to the anniversary performance? The one with me and Miss Nilou?” He winces, and turns to face you too.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you come?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was work?” He sighs.

“Really. I had to meet some bigshot client and I tried but I couldn’t reschedule.

“I really wanted to go.”

“...Yeah, I wanted you to go too.” The guilt twists and churns inside him, and he sits up in bed.

“I'm sorry, truly. Tell me when the next one is and I'll be there, I promise. I’ll even miss an appointment if I have to.”

The silence reigns heavy, you don't speak. He's about to repeat his words, swear on them, when you answer him. 

“Cyno came and interrogated Zubayr and his son. He then had the members takes a few days leave of absence so that he could interrogate us each. So, Zubayr decided that I shouldn't have any more performances, for the time being. The whole thing with Cyno put the theater on blast, so no more future performances.” Your voice is somber and dull, like a worn knife, disappointment sour.

“And no more public performances either, huh?” 

“Not for a while. Cyno is keeping a closer eye out on me. The only reason I could go out with you today was because he had to go out on an excursion, and I know how to avoid the lower Matra.’ You sigh and roll over onto your back.

“So maybe its better if you didn’t come. You would have been targeted too if you were seen with me.”

“...Well, you might not be able to perform publicly, but The Akademiya has no say in what goes on in private property.”

“So?”

“If you…ever want to sing or dance or anything really, you can come find me. This place was given to Alhaitham and I to be refurbished as living quarters, or you can even find me at the Architects Guild, since that building isn’t government owned.”

“Kaveh,” and now it's your turn to sit up. “I can’t put you in danger like that.”

“I won't be in danger.”

“You know, better than I probably do, that the Akademiya don't like outliers. I’m an outlier. If they come to know that you’re friends with me, what do you think will happen to you?”

“It’s not like you’ve done anything wrong. Not really.”

“I’ve undermined them and they really don’t like that. It's hard enough for you, the light of the Kshahrewar, to get clients and make ends meet. I don't want to make things any harder.”

“Things are already hard and I'm doing fine enough, so you don't need to worry about me. The worst I’ll have to deal with is a couple of rumors, and those are everywhere in Sumeru.

"If my reputation is as good as people proclaim I can survive a few rumors.. Furthermore,” He cuts you off as you open your mouth to speak.

“I know how hard it is for you to be here. I know you feel like you have something to prove but that doesn't mean I don't want to make things easier for you, even at my own slight expense. You can't change my mind, love, so don’t try.” Silence returns to the room in a wave, while you two stay poised, tense. Kaveh doesn’t know if you can see him in the darkness; he stares into the room until the dark takes over his vision, blinding him until he blinks it back again. 

“I used to be a knight you know,” You speak.” Back home in Monstadt, I was a part of the Knights of Favonius.”

“Oh, wow, that’s amazing.”

“I quit,” You continue without fanfare.

“I started to hate my life, and hate myself. I was young too, and I was in a relationship that was falling apart and my whole life felt like it was ending.” You laugh.

“Goes to show how naive I was then. But I quit, and I left, and I just decided to do the things that made me happy, and went along with my morals. I never wanted to feel so miserable and hopeless ever again. Those feelings still sometimes come back, but what I do then is go to where the people were, and sing, make them smile and laugh.

“I don't have that option in Sumeru. I mean I do but, it's never been a choice I’ve ever been actively punished for, before. I'm going to keep doing it of course. I’ll be damned if I ever let a government silence me, but…

“But it still hurts a little, you know?” He reaches out and drags you closer till you're resting in his arms. You've hugged one another before, but this time he wraps his arms fully around you till your brow rests on his collarbone, his cheek against your hair.

“Well, my offer is open for you anytime, at least. I’m sorry my home hasn’t been exactly welcoming to you.”

“Mhm.”

“It must have been hard for you. I’m sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize,” You breathe, reaching to hold him back.

“You've been perfectly wonderful. I don't know what I would have done without you.”

“Well, we are both fellow artists on the brink of homelessness, so we ought to stick together.”

“If your roommate ever kicks you out you can stay with me. And if I'm ever kicked out we can roam the streets together.” He chuckles, and he's sure you can feel it where you're pressed to him.

“Well, I can play an instrument, so maybe we can be traveling bards. We can go to Fontaine and meet my mother.”

“Oh, that would be a shock, I bet. I met a girl in Liyue once who plays that Fontaine rock music. I could send her back something. Is your mother a nice lady?”

His chest twinges, remembering tears,  heavy silences and dull eyes, The memory of sunshine.

“She's a rather shy woman, and she’s just gotten over some adversary. She's perfectly lovely.”

“What does she look like?"

“Well, I suppose you can look at me and figure it out,” He shrugs. “I've been told I look remarkably like her.”

“Oh, so she's beautiful then.” He starts, and he feels a flush crawl over his face, warm and slow.

“Oh, you sweet talker, you.” You tilt your face up and he's sure you have that sweet smile on your face, that cat's curl.

“I speak only the truth, my dear, I swear it. Anywho, how else am I supposed to keep you by my side, if not with my wily words?”

“Perhaps your fiery temperament? Your musical skill? Your graceful figure? Your sweet kisses?” And you reach up and kiss him, taking the bait.

And yes, you’ve done this before as well, nothing further, but Kaveh’s heart never fails to race. Your mouth is skilled in more than just song, and your tongue is sinfully soft.

You definitely feel the heat of his face when you pull away and rub your cheek against his.

“You’re absolutely precious Kaveh.”

‘Oh, don't patronize me,” He grumbles, and pulls you in even tighter, shoulder to hip aligned, legs entangled. “We have to sleep now. It’s late enough.”

“Why should we?” You flirt. You brush your mouth against his once more and snuggle yourself closer. 

“”I'm afraid your kiss has sent my blood racing. It will be hard enough to go to sleep now.”

“Hm. Well, why don’t you sing then? Maybe something calming, a lullaby your mother would sing to you before bed.”

“Hm…I spoil you too much already.”

“But you'll do it, right?” He chuckles when you bonk your head against his. But you settle down, and it's not long till your voice comes hither, soft and lilting. It's hardly more than a tune under your breath, a hum in your throat, but it is soothing, and soon enough he’s actually asleep.

When he wakes up in the morning, the dull throb lessened but persistent in his head, you are not in his bed, or his home. There's only a single note, a badly drawn winking rabbit, but he smiles and pockets it, getting ready for another day. He’ll run into you again soon enough. And if not, then he’ll simply find you.

There seems to be a commotion a few streets away, from what he could hear. Kaveh sighs, harsh and loud, and pushes himself off the wall that he's been leaning against. He came out for some fresh air, and the promise of some spectacle does not entice him. He starts making the trek back to the Architects guild.

Pounding footsteps slap the ground behind him, and he turns just in time for a figure to dash into him. He barely shakes off his shock before he reaches out to half catch the person, but the weight drags him down and he falls too.

“What the hell…? Archons, are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for being in the way.” And its the way you turn your head to check behind you that gives him a clear look at your face, familIar and shocking. He barely has the sense of mind to reply back, struck like hammer against a molten steel.

He…hadn’t been looking for you, to be honest. It’s been three times already, that you’ve met but never properly seen nor greeted each other, and he had hoped another opportunity would just…come. Fall into his lap, luck be damned. 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and shame on the both of us.

So what could be said for a fourth time?

“....the General Mahamatra.”

“The what now?” the General Mahamatra? He heard the rumors, but he never thought that you would prove yourself trouble enough for the sages to deploy him. Against you?

You must have done something reckless, like dancing in the streets again. Or singing in the taverns or just being too you. You were lovely, but sumeru likes its lovely things in glass cases, not prancing in bars or dashing down alleyways.

You speak quickly, and the words just register in his brain before he hears the commotion in the plaza, nearer now, the wince on your face and the way you jolt, ready to flee. He makes a decision.

He grabs at the hand fate and has dealt him, and pulls you further inside the commercial alleyways, knowing exactly where he wants to take you and nothing of what he wants to say to you.

But he can start with this. “ I have heard of you! I’ve been wanting to meet you!” He grins, bright like a star.

“I’m Kaveh. You are?

Taglist

@jjkclub, @jaguarthecat, @swivy123, @seajellyx, @ash-in-lavender, @pepithe3rd, @uchihaeirin .

[yandere-romanticaa]

Yandere! Yae Miko with an Isekai Darling! from or own world is living in my head rent free and I really want to talk about it.

As the chief editor of Yae Publishing House, Yae has naturally read thousands upon thousands of books in a very short time and she is familiar with every single trope possible. She doesn't necessarily spend her free time lost high up in the clouds, stuck in a fantasy land but she'd be liar if the thought of going to a different world me er crossed her mind.

Imagine her shock once something similar happens one day, but slightly reversed.

Stepping foot onto the front porch one morning, Yae was met with an interesting sight before her - laying on the ground was a complete stranger in clothing she had never seen before, talking in a language that sounded like a confusing puzzle to her ears. The stranger was in a state of shock once they saw the Guji Yae as they immediately went in to pinch themselves, before they started to squeal like a little pig.

She was intrigued, to say the least.

The language was an obvious problem but the two of you did your best to make it work any time you could. Yae took great pleasure in messing with her cute new friend but there were times when they'd somehow be able to perfectly predict her actions which admittedly shocked the kitsune.

One of her favorite past times was taking her new favorite person to stroll across Inazuma city and to see your dazzled face, a bit too dazzled in her opinion. She spoiled them with good food and clothing and she did everything in her power to teach her little sakura bloom the language the best she could but it was so different that it felt almost impossible.

What was even more impossible though was just how well her little flower was settling in this seemingly foreign land.

While her flower was not a born fighter they did seem to know and understand some things that the general populace did not know about, which would have been mostly okay had it not been for the fact that they managed to solve some mysteries and puzzles at the mere drop of a hat which took even some of the brightest people in the whole nation to figure out.

There was a secret, and she knew it.

You on the other hand were beyond excited, albeit worried. How and when did you managed to get sucked into Genshin Impact was a complete mystery to you but you didn't have time to dwell on it, not when there were so many things to do and people to met. Despite Yae's intense stares she did take you under her wing and made sure you were safe, and you did your best to repay her in any way you could. You were like a buzzing bee, always flowing around wherever you could with nothing standing in your way.

But not even you were immune to homesickness.

As fun as this was, you did have an old life waiting for you back home. Friends, family, duty, all of those things were tying you down and it felt wrong to stay in Teyvat for so long, no matter how well you fit in. You had a blast with making friends with the playable and non playable characters, despite the huge wall of the language and cultural barrier.

Lady Yae certainly made it easier for you.

She's not stupid, she can see what you're trying to do - you want to leave. Why? How insolent of you, trying to run away from her... She could devour you whole and you would never even see it coming. She chuckled and stopped herself, there was no use in getting angry. Not when she was so close in discovering more and more about you. You weren't the only one who was digging around for new information and exploring to your hearts content. Thanks to her wit and the many favors people owe her Miko had managed to develop a special device that would allow you to understand any language that exists in Teyvat and she couldn't wait for you to try it on. It was in the form of a simple necklace because she ordered it so. She couldn't wait to put it on you, she could hardly stay put.

What a pity that she was met with confused gazes and screams of her name once she came back to the shrine with the little trinket.

Her little sakura bloom had vanished into thin air.

Going into your room it was obvious that you had studied spell craft and managed to transport yourself back home without her or her permission. She smirked as a bitter feeling rised in her chest, a predatory glint in her eye as she toyed with the ashes on the ground, determined filled her mind and heart. She was more than willing to play chase with you, this silly cat and mouse.

If you were able to get here, why can't she come to you herself?

This will get interesting.

[floatingcatacombs]

Compile Hagiography Through Reading the Hyperdimension Neptunia Wiki

12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 4

When I’m really bored on the computer, one of the things I'll occasionally do is explore the Hyperdimension Neptunia wiki. Neptunia is a role-playing series whose main distinction is being centered around moe anthropomorphizations of video game companies and consoles, which fascinates me. These are textbook trashy 6/10 anime RPGs, and release at a pace that suggests both a low budget and a pretty dedicated fanbase. I don’t mean to patronize, though. I’m not above this kind of stuff, I just can’t let a bunch of mid 30-hour JRPGs into my life at this moment in time. Rather, my angle of interest here is the origins of the Neptunia developer, Compile Heart.

listening and learning

You see, back in the late 80s and early 90s, a company called Compile was one of the greats in Japanese home PC gaming. Most of their early output was shmups for the MSX, although they dabbled in a bit of everything, including running a disc magazine to distribute games. Compile’s first hit was Madou Monogatari in 1990, a numberless first-person dungeon crawler with a focus on voice samples. It features a lovable cast, starring young magician Arle Nadja as she attempts to graduate kindergarten, viscerally decapitate an evil sorcerer, and fend off Satan and the girl who’s down bad for Satan. Plenty of remakes and sequels followed, and eventually Compile struck gold with Puyo Puyo, the platonic ideal of competitive falling-block games. To set it apart from the more faceless puzzle games of the era, they reused the Madou Monogatari cast, resulting in a cutesy aesthetic with occasional lingering bits of fucked-up lore.

After porting Puyo Puyo and its sequel to everything imaginable, Compile spent their mid-90s rapidly scaling the company, ultimately biting off more than they could chew. This was an era of serious change as developers moved towards 3D, and consumer preferences moved too fast for Compile to adapt. Some high-profile failures like Madou Monogatari Saturn and Puyo Puyo Dungeon sent the company into a fiscal downward spiral, leading frequent business partner Sega to bail them out by buying the rights to Puyo Puyo. Compile got to finish their in-progress work, including the gorgeous yet frustrating Puyo Puyo 4, but the writing was on the wall. Compile declared bankruptcy in 2003 after throwing all of their hopes and dreams into one last little game, Pochi and Nyaa. It’s a puzzle game with simple yet strategic mechanics that feels like something of a return to infancy for the developers. Also, it was released on the Neo-Geo in 2003! If you know anything about arcade hardware, that’s nuts.

The late 90's pre-rendered backgrounds combined with Sunaho Tobe's character artwork give Puyo Puyo 4 such a special look. Shame it's unplayable unless you're very good at chaining.

So Compile scatters to the winds and a lot of the non-shmup devs regroup at the newly formed Compile Heart, where they eventually hit the jackpot with Hyperdimension Neptunia and crank one of those out per year ad infinitum.

That was a pretty tumultuous history! And Neptunia seems like a way to process this? After all, the protagonist is named after and personifies the Sega Neptune, a cancelled 90’s console. Compile and Sega have intertwined histories and faced a similar trajectory. Rapid success in the early 90s was followed up by bad business decisions later in the decade, leading to a tragic exit from the industry that nobody wanted to see. Hyperdimension Neptunia wants to convey these scars to an audience who weren't necessarily around for it.

The first Neptunia game opens with the anime girl manifestations of Nintendo, Sony, and Xbox deciding that in order to break the sixth-generation console war stalemate, they need to team up against the one who poses the biggest threat. So, they get together and betray Neptunia, casting her out of the heavens. Obviously, this isn’t how it happened in the real world. The Dreamcast may have been awesome, but Sega was operating at a loss trying to support it, and the release of the all-consuming PS2 spelled doom. But this intro is closer to how it felt to Sega fans. It’s a mythical retelling of the fall, one that slots right in with the endless glowing retrospectives of Sega’s glorious but doomed last breath (My favorite is calling the console a “small, square, white plastic JFK”).

I’m no industry expert or historian, but I was around to see the Japanese game industry flounder during the PS3 era, when high definition brought with it new expectations and inflated development cycles. Obviously juggernauts like Capcom and Square Enix got out fine, but a lot of smaller studios went under at some point in the past 15 years. Hudson, T&E Soft, ASCII, Clover Studio, Imageepoch. In another world, beloved FromSoft could have fallen to the wayside just as easily.

That’s why Neptunia is really important, I think. It serves as a way to self-mythologize, to keep fragments of these studios alive no matter what happens to them later. It’s a snapshot of all the B-tier Japanese game companies at any given point, written by one such company. When some of them inevitably fold, the Neptunia series will act as one more eulogy. As a huge fan of Compile-era Puyo Puyo, it’s a strange but relieving afterlife to witness. I may never play these games, but I’m grateful for what they do, and it’s a very entertaining series to rummage through the wiki of, especially as someone with a known appreciation of OS-tans.

The second Hyperdimension Neptunia game appears to introduce the Gamindustri Graveyard, a burial ground for defunct game companies. Resting there alongside all the other fallen studios is 1st-Gen Compa, the spirit of Compile. She’s wearing an outfit adorned with Puyos, with ears resembling those of beloved mascot Carbuncle. What is just a random horny anime girl for one person is a loving tribute for another. It’s a meaningful way to send off the old.

…and so is raising the dead! In October, Compile Heart announced a new Madou Monogatari game, with Sega giving them the rights to use classic Puyo Puyo characters on the project. According to the press release, the development team includes many staff members who were part of the original incarnation of Compile. Hope springs eternal, somehow.

[theeblackmedusa]

great mistakes 5/7 {attoye}

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

ao3 link

summary: "loving you had been my greatest mistake, but it's a mistake i'd make a million times."

pairing: okoye x attuma

warnings: angst if you squint, not quite smut but sexual content

a/n: i remixed some of the sirens' abilities bc i don't know if what i wrote is accurate to any kind of lore, but it works for this story so hopefully it isn't too far off.

a/n 2: once again, my keep reading option does not work, so i apologize for how lengthy this post is.

Attuma woke up at an ungodly hour, head full of swirling thoughts. He couldn't grasp why everything was moving so fast, what could have driven a weak surface dweller to even think of going against the alliance. He was no fan of the surface world, but he knew that the Wakandans were smart enough to not attack them. Both sides knew it was not a war that Wakanda could win. 

He stood and began pacing, attempting to put pieces of a jumbled puzzle together. The pieces, however, weren't clicking. No matter how many times he played it over in his mind, the why did not make sense. He was even having trouble with the how. Talokan was packed full of trained fighters, it was practically a requirement. From the time they could walk, they were learning to defend themselves and their nation. He could think back to his days as a young trainee, just a child being taught to throw his first punch. He and Namora had spent most of their childhood sparring with each other and trying to prove who would dominate the next generation of Talokanil warriors. He remembered the two of them always throwing fits if they lost to the other, claiming that they'd been cheated of a win. Young Namora claiming that Attuma's siren song was unnaturally powerful and Young Attuma that Namora kept giving him visions that distracted him. 

And just like that, the pieces connected. It made sense, how a Talokanil could fall so easily. Namora's involvement was the only way that it would make sense. He wasted no time finding her, blood boiling as he made his way to Namora's quarters. He'd shocked her by throwing the door open as he entered, making her whip around and throw a spear in his direction at the possibility of an attacker in her home. He caught it quickly before throwing it down, the tip jamming into the ground.

"Who did you give the vision to?" he questioned accusingly, voice raised to a level that was rare for his relatively calm demeanor. "You made the Wakandan kill him!"

Namora's brow raised and she cocked her head to the side, looking at him without portraying any notion that she knew what he was talking about. 

"What do you speak of, Attuma?" she sighed, turning back to her mirror to finish the braid she'd been working on before he'd stormed into her home. 

"Do not insult my intelligence, Namora! Which Wakandan was it?" 

She shook her head, finishing the braid's end and turning back to him when she was satisfied with how it looked. 

"I would never dare to do such a thing," she played, eyes rolling at his confidence. 

"Do you not understand the graveness of the situation you have created?" he questioned, only praying that he can get through to her and save both nations the unavoidable casualties that will come with another war. "You must fix this or the alliance will fail. People will die, our people!" 

Namora shook her head, inhaling deeply. She figured there was no longer a point in trying to hide her doings from Attuma. He knew her too well for that. Maybe she'd even be able to convince him that she'd done the right thing, that K'uk'ulkan and the alliance were going to drive Talokan into the ground. 

"This alliance was a mistake from the very beginning," she began. "It was bound to fall apart, and all I have done is give Talokan the opportunity to come out on top." 

She turned back to him and turned her head to the side, eyeing him intensely. Namora was smart enough to know what is curiosity was about. Not too long ago, Attuma would not have hesitated to follow her lead had she done something like this. Hell, he would probably be the one leading. This change of heart obviously came from his allowing Okoye to get inside of his head, to change his priorities. 

"You need to get your head on straight, Attuma," Namora told him. "She is not as devoted to you as you are to her. She will kill you if she must. Will you be able to kill your precious warrior when the time comes?"

She was well aware that Attuma loved hard and that if he was as in deep with Okoye as Namora figured he was, there was no way that he would be the one to drive a blade into her back if the opportunity arose. His silence spoke for him and he stood defensively in front of her before taking a few steps toward her. Before he could threaten her, she was shaking her head at him. 

"She has made you weak, Attuma, but it is an easy fix." 

"Namora, if you so much as-"

She laughed at him before sighing, bringing a hand up to condescendingly pat his shoulder.

"Your warrior will be safe. For now," she told him. "When she is to die, it will be honorably. She has earned a warrior's death, and I will happily to provide it to her. It will be nothing personal. It will be for the good of Talokan." 

For a moment, he contemplated explaining it all to K'uk'ulkan, wondered if he would be able to convince him now that his heart had already been turned in the direction of war. He inhaled, knowing that the chances were slim with Namora already in K'uk'ulkan's ear. He knew the only way to bring an end to the madness, but that way was currently giving him the silent treatment. He was determined to fix it, though. Attuma decided that he would have to make his way to Wakanda, deal with the stares he'd get from her Border Tribe as he made his way to her home. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

Okoye had woken up earlier normal and could hardly think straight from sleep deprivation. The entirety of her night had either been spent missing Attuma or fearing her future in Wakanda if she sided with Shuri. The journaling was of no use because whenever she tried to open up the vault of her worries, she couldn't stop thinking about if she was any better than W'Kabi if she decided to follow through with Shuri's plan. He'd betrayed the throne and she was very close to doing the same, so what was separating them? The good of Wakanda? That was W'Kabi's same argument. Okoye was so used to knowing what to do, strategizing and finding a way around potential problems, but this felt impossible. 

Okoye let the water fall over her body, head submerged completely as the water streamed from the shower. Her mind never gave her a break from memories of her failings constantly flashing through her head.

"Isidenge," she muttered. Idiot. 

She ran her hands over her face, wiping away the water as she mentally berated her past self as she replayed asking Queen Mother to let Shuri tag along. She should have known Shuri wasn't ready, should've anticipated that Talokan was as strong as Namor had threatened in the beginning. She should've done a lot of things different.

A tear ran down Okoye's cheek and she wiped it immediately before turning the shower off, beginning to feel lightheaded from the steam. She stepped out of the shower carefully, wrapping herself in her towel and cracking the bathroom door open to let out some of the steam in the room. She turned the cold water on and began splashing it in in her face to try and cool down momentarily.

As she reached for a paper towel to dry her soaked face, she heard a familiar rapping coming from her back door. She was alert immediately. There was a part inside of her that knew very well that he would never bring her any more harm than he'd done before their involvement with each other began, but she couldn't help the small twinge of doubt that struck her whenever she thought of trusting him now.

Okoye inhaled deeply, making her way to the door and looking out to be greeted by him holding up the same goat that had been stalking him only days before. Her brows furrowed as she realized she was unable to see M20 anywhere in sight. He'd been stationed right outside of her home and now he'd suddenly disappeared. As if on queue, she heard the great beast growl for Attuma's attention before coming into view in the small viewing hole. 

"You get no more fruit! You have eaten all that I had for you!" Attuma voiced, turning to the animal, not letting his guard down after denying such a dangerous thing food. 

M20 growled again, and although Okoye knew that he wouldn't attack Attuma because of his familiarity with the man, she opened the door to save Attuma the fear. His head snapped when he heard the door creak. She pulled her towel tighter around her under his gaze. 

"Release my goat," she commanded, ignoring the way his eyes were dragging down her barely covered body. Attuma obliged by gently placing it on the ground behind him and watching as it ran free. "Why are you here, and what have you done to take down M20's guard?" 

"We need to speak and I did a small amount of research. The beast does not eat meat," he answered confidently, proud to show off his newfound knowledge to Okoye. "May I come in?" 

She shook her head in disbelief at him and began to close the door in his face, which was Attuma's final straw. He didn't have it in him anymore to go another moment with her holding any kind of disdain for him. The larger man blocked the door with his hand and kept it open, keeping his face within view in the crack of the door. 

"Attuma-"

"Let me speak. Please."

Okoye took in his pleading eyes. She could tell that he was trying. That explaining would mean a lot to him. The woman inhaled deeply in preparation for whatever it was he had to say to her. 

"Well go on," she instructed impatiently, trying to avoid his gaze as he stared at her with those dark eyes that had a tendency to make her heart melt.

"Namora has...a gift. She has been using it to her advantage since we were small. This mess, it was of her doing. She caused the murder." 

Okoye's eyes narrowed at him, but she released the door and stepped aside to allow him in and give him the opportunity to speak. He'd intrigued her now.

"It was not a murder," she corrected, backing further away from the door as he entered her home. 

"I was unaware that it had happened. I never misled you," he told her, his eyes letting her see his sincerity. They always held the truth. "It was not until I came to K'uk'ulkan that I knew of any tensions. I have recently confronted Namora, and I am sure that she is behind it." 

She could believe it. Although, her belief would be solely based off of what Attuma had told her of Namora, how she never wished for the alliance, how she'd do anything to keep Talokan safe. Okoye respected that, respected her dedication to her country, but she was sure she didn't have it in her to spark an entire war for Wakanda. It was extreme, but it wasn't hard to believe that Namora could go to that extreme and even exceed it. 

"You went along with Namor's plan to kill our brother after you knew. You helped spill Wakandan blood, my blood without any explanation," she pointed out, trying to find more reasons to keep him at a distance. 

"He is my king. I must obey the throne the same as you," he responded, taking a step closer to her and refusing to let her distance him any more than she already had. 

She wanted to leave, wanted to escape, but that wasn't an option for her. How could she when Shuri was about to make a decision that could truly mean the end of Wakanda? This, she decided, would be her chance to redeem herself. To who, she wasn't sure, but she needed to figure out another plan. A plan that wouldn't provoke Namor any further and push their nations past the breaking point.

She wondered if Attuma ever thought about straying away, how much sacrifice would be too much for him? What would be the straw to break the great Attuma's back? 

Okoye turned from him and walked into her living room, hearing his heavy footsteps ringing behind her. 

"It never ends does it? There is always something to deal with," she sighed, taking a seat on her couch. 

Attuma sat beside her quietly. She was right. The life they'd chosen didn't provide breaks. Something was always happening even if they weren't major somethings. But in that moment, he knew that if anyone deserved even a second of peace, it was her. He wasn't sure she'd had a break in her entire career with the way that she pushed herself in every aspect of life. 

"What if we simply forget for a moment?" he questioned, hands coming to her shoulders. 

Okoye sighed at his touch, not realizing just how much she'd missed it until it was there again.

"We do not get to forget. All we get to do is handle things," she responded. 

"Then we will handle it together," he suggested softly. "By each other's side. We will handle it." 

She turned to look at him with a raised brow, finding it difficult to believe that he could ever step outside of his duty just to try and figure out the mess that their countries had found themselves in. 

"Oh, will we?" she questioned, earning a nod in response, his gentle touch making its way from her shoulders down to her arms. 

"We will. We will handle it and the rest of the world together." 

She looked in his eyes once more and found nothing but his honesty, and Bast, she hated him for it. She hated him for being so honest and for caring so much and for making everything okay even though it was as far from okay as possible. She turned away from his gaze, closing her eyes and laughed lightly in disbelief. For all of that "hatred", it paled in comparison to the way she "hated" him for being her weakness. 

"Exactly how will we do that?" she asked him softly. "How will we handle this situation between our nations? More people are going to die."

"We can figure that part out later," he told her. "For now, we take a moment to forget." 

Okoye heard the click of his mask and saw his large hand resting it on her coffee table out of the corner of her eye before he craned his head down to press a feathery kiss to her shoulder, causing her to huff in amusement. 

"Attuma, we have been through this before. I will not break, you do not have to handle me as if I am made of glass," she insisted, a small smile forming.

"You can be delicate, Okoye. Your guard does not have to be up all of the time," he told her, voice lowering as he spoke to her. "You are allowed softness." 

"Softness is a luxury that I cannot afford," she told him, earning a disapproving grunt. 

"You can afford it. You just refuse to invest in it." 

Her eyes rolled. He had so much wisdom about him and she could hardly stand it. Another thing she "hated" him for. The two of them let silence fall over them for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I could not spend another moment with you unable to look at me, Okoye," he told her solemnly. "I need you to understand that I..." 

He trailed off, but Okoye nodded. She didn't need him to finish to know what he was going to say. They'd spoken it a thousand times without having to say anything at all. Okoye nodded at his silent declaration and allowed herself to sink into his touch, letting the silence wash over them once more as he peppered kisses along her shoulder blade. 

"I am sorry about Aneka. She is very protective of those she is close to," Okoye finally spoke, getting a short laugh out of him. 

Attuma pulled her closer to him, chin resting on her shoulder as he recalled Aneka's earlier threat. He figured he'd forgive her given that she didn't know the entirety of the situation, didn't know that he was willing to put his life on the line for her friend. 

"I understand," he told her. "You are worth protecting." 

Okoye's heart fluttered at that and she slowly turned her face to his, pressing her forehead to his. 

"As are you," she replied quietly, lips ghosting over his before he finally connected them, taking her in like it had been years since their last encounter with each other. 

Okoye decided to take the moment to forget, to have a break. She would figure it all out in the morning. How she could keep Shuri from making the most detrimental mistake of her life and how to keep Thandiwe alive would be business for later. For now, she decided it was okay that he drew a laugh from her when he picked her up, knowing she liked to walk on her own. The sound of it rang like music as he pressed kisses to her neck and made way to her bedroom. It almost felt unnatural to rip herself from her duties for a small moment of joy but she allowed it, allowed him to take her mind off of everything because he was the only one that seemed to be able to pull her away from all the things she felt so permanently attached to.

The spent the rest of their evening together tangled in each other, the sound of her soft gasps and his low grunts filling the room as they indulged in their moment of forgetting the rest of the world. 

When she pulled his face down to hers for a kiss, he let her take him in for a moment, not sure that anybody else in the world other than her really mattered anymore. Attuma broke the kiss, saw her eyes flutter shut as he pushed against a sensitive spot inside of her. His hand came to her cheek gently and turned her head before her leaned down to press soft kisses along the side of her face and temple. Slowly, he dragged his lips over to her ear, whispering in Mayan as his hips snapped into her. 

Okoye tightened her grip on his shoulders, clinging to him for dear life as he continued to chant quietly in her ear. She was still learning, but she knew enough to piece together what he was repeating like a prayer as he buried himself inside of her. 

My love. My heart. My life. My warrior.

taglist: @simpingforclaudette @amidalis @angel-of-death-2015 @amber-plans @goodluckdumbfuck @mikastarr222 @abbyeliza28 @skysynclair19 @midethefangirl @sunshinescribes

[ameliedoree]

Mysteries of the Sith is Peak Niche Bullshit and I Kinda Love it

Fun fact about me: I play boomer shooters when I'm not doing well. This entire last week has been miserable for me, so I decided, "why don't I *finally* try and play through Dark Forces 2 and it's expansion?" It's a title I've had a love/hate relationship with, primarily because I've tried to play it on Hard mode and that SUCKS. DF2 is a miserable experience on that difficulty for a myriad reasons I will not dive into here because I don't have the mental capacity to talk in great detail about it.

But anyways, I've finally played Dark Forces 2, and it's pretty cool. Not great, but as the second entry in the first Star Wars FPS series, and probably the first 3D Star Wars game to let you wield a lightsaber, it's a fun pulpy ride that I feel is enjoyable by anyone who likes older FPS titles and doesn't mind a little bit of archaic design.

Mysteries of the Sith is not this.

Mysteries of the Sith is some bullshit.

MOTS is very clearly made for people who are completely deranged boomer shooter fans like I am; people like me who have been playing this genre since they were a wee lad or lass (I played FPS games when I was 3!) and know the genre in and out; people like me who can probably play multiple DOOM maps blindfolded, finds anything below Hard or Very Hard to be annoying and tedious in most FPS games, has twitch reflexes, and somehow enjoys maniacal puzzle solving and level design that has no human logic or reason behind it.

And I think I love it.

It's about as indulgent in 90s FPS design tropes as you can get. Levels are often sprawling but there doesn't seem to be any real world rhyme or reason to parts of their design; it's often weird and winding explicitly for the purpose of testing the players ability to apply made up powers for problem solving.

Dark Forces 1 was clearly meant to be a game with 'real' locations. Many levels make a pretty remarkable amount of sense, only confusing because cities and industrial landscapes can be confusing to outsiders, and any level obfuscation can be blamed on sci-fi bullshit.

Dark Forces 2 steered away from this, but it still made SOME sense; locations generally felt like they could be real, even if individual areas were kinda nonsensical for the sake of having goofy FPS platforming and shoehorned in traps. None of it ever takes advantage of the fact that you are A Jedi though; you're not gonna be Force Jumping or Speeding or Pulling around for anything other than a few secrets and mucking about with the enemies.

MOTS does not give two shits about this and has levels that feel vaguely real enough to make sense but are generally a bunch of wacky things chained together because it's entertaining. Said wacky things often expect that you're completely willing to use every bit of kit at your arsenal; it wants you to be zooming around at nauseating paces, hopping around like a jackrabbit, throwing switches with the Force, and persuading ancient statues in a forgotten forest.

Also, the game has some absolute fucking bullshit everywhere. Like, completely impossible to know ahead of time traps, secrets that requires absurd intuition to locate, enemies that can kill you in seconds... it ALMOST gets out of hand at points. But I feel like I was smiling along with the developers, thinking, "oh man that was wild, now why'd you put THAT there you silly gooses? Hehe~"

I think it's a pretty cool study in designing a game for people who are as In The Know as the hypothetical you, The Designer, are. I don't think anyone designing MOTS was a newbie to FPS game design; these were people who loved the genre and had probably had tons of experience working on it, assuming they weren't all rehires from the base DF2 team. I haven't checked, sorry.

But the game was absolutely not meant to be played by people who don't have the same level of brain worms that I do; so much of the level design I feel would be utterly alien to people used to Real Game Environments the same way I struggle to navigate games with Real Game Environments like The Last of Us.

I think it's also super cool how all of this does work into the game. Like I said, it expects you to be doing goofy force bullshit in the way DF2 didn't and DF1 most certainly did not because the latter doesn't even have Jedi and Sith shit going on. It's also rather different from DF3/4 (Jedi Outcast/Academy) because the game design feels much more *retro* than those two. It really does make you feel like a wild mystical super power user just by virtue of using those powers to solve things.

MOTS is a very goofy, self-indulgent game besides this anyways. The whole story references characters that NO ONE except massive extended universe lore nerds would care about, the protagonist is the apprentice of the protag from the first game, who you then FIGHT IN AN EPIC SUPER COOL DUEL AT THE END to save him from turning to the EVIL DARK SIDE.

This game was made for the small handful of people who love boomer shooters in all of their bullshit, and additionally, people who are like that AND love crazy fanfiction shit. That's me, I'm both of those; I don't really care deeply about Star Wars but I do love me some self-indulgent fanfiction.

This is a big rambly post, but the point is, MOTS is pretty awesome and I recommend it to people deep in the boomer shooter mines. It's a far better paced game than the kind of sloggish DF2, it's a more enjoyable FPS experience than the lightsaber-focused DF3 and 4, and it's a self-indulgent good time in every other way.

[thegothgainer]

A couple of my favorite things from each Pokemon generation

I have a lot of negative things to say about recent Pokemon, but I kinda want to offset that with a list of some of my actual favorite things. There are a lot, so I'm going to try and list just one from each gen.

Gen 1

Probably the hardest to come up with, since later games mostly improved upon the formula. I could just say "it's the first Pokemon game" but that feels like a cop-out. So, instead, I'll say it's the sort of mystery it had. You'd find new things out from being told by friends. There were rumors about how to catch the mythical Mew. There was the superstition that holding down certain buttons would help catch Pokemon. It may have just been a thing of its time, given the state of the internet back then. But there's something about getting information from guides and friends instead of an ad-ridden barf of a website that made Pokemon feel really personal.

Actually, I just remembered one more positive in me. Gary being an absolute asshole. I love being able to take my rival down a notch. I don't want to feel bad I destroyed my rival because they're a great person. I want to rub it in Gary's dumb face.

Gen 2

The phone system. Being able to get calls from trainers, asking for a rematch was the coolest thing. It made the world feel so alive. Like there were things going on while you were training to become a champion.

I'm surprised we don't have anything like this in modern Pokemon games. A fake social media network would be sooooo cool to see within Pokemon. Gen 7 kinda had this with the photos, but the responses weren't from NPCs you've met. It felt kind of flat to me. But if Youngster Joey followed me and commented on every picture of a Ratata I posted, I'd be stoked. If my rival sent pics of their travels while I did mine, it would make me want to go out and find those places and show them up. I think there is a lot of potential to make the Pokemon world feel more lived-in in the games.

Gen 3

So, Gen 3 is two things, but both because of the same reason: Puzzles and Exploration.

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald had a lot of depth to the maps. You could climb your bike up the side of a mountain and drive over a bridge from where you were just standing. The sense of exploration was strong too. You could dive underwater and see the depths. Too much water, my ass.

Exploration felt worth it too. Especially the Regi trio. Three legendary Pokemon you get just by wandering around and hearing myths and solving puzzles. None of it is part of the main story. You feel rewarded for exploration. We got a whole open world in Gen 9, but none of the exploration really feels as worth it as it did in Gen 3.

And the puzzles were really fun too. They had a slight challenge to them as a kid. In the newer games, the gym challenges feel a little more like filler than a challenge. The themed puzzles were almost a staple of Pokemon gameplay at this point, from spinning tiles, to cracking ice blocks to pushing boulders around. It was a part of Pokemon's DNA, and honestly, I miss it.

I put these in the same category because of the Regi trio. They are the result of exploration and puzzles, and I really feel like they highlight everything that was great about Gen 3 gameplay.

Gen 4

The best thing I remember about Gen 4 was the lore. And it had to be in Gen 4! This was the game where the creation trio was introduced. But seeing all this lore really helped to flesh out the world a lot. I really want to see more story outside of the main storyline and Pokedex entries. I want to know about the wars that happened long ago. I want to know the myths that the mythicals were involved in. I want to know more about this world that GameFreak has created. We do see a little bit of that in Legends: Arceus. And I love it for it.

Gen 5

Sprites.

I never had the opportunity to play the Gen 5 games until after I completed Gen 7. But I do remember that I was blown away by the personality that the sprites brought. Every single one was animated in such a way that really highlighted that Pokemon's personality. The idle animations in modern games can feel a little bland and stiff. But just look at this! Wings flapping, mouth chomping, this guy feels alive. This kind of personality really helped the Black and White games feel so organic.

Gen 6

Pokemon Amie.

It's one thing to select an item, click use, and then just heal your Pokemon up. But, I'm playing Pokemon because I love my partners in crime. I want to give them the praise they deserve, not just run to a salon and select the option to groom them. And feed them. It was like a dumbed-down Nintendogs, and I would love for there to be more Pokemon games that expand on this idea. Or even just bring it back in full in a new game.

Honestly, the whole online capability of the game was great, that whole section on the lower part of the 3DS. It was really easy to find trades, battles, etc, something that I think the new games lack for some reason.

Oh, and Megas were also really cool. Probably the best "Gimmick".

Gen 7

Gen 7 was in a kind of transition period, but honestly, it had one of my favorite stories. A lot was going on, and it was great. Runaway hooligans, interdimensional travel, mind control... this game had it all. The characters are fun, especially Guzma (what a name, by the way). And from what I remember, post game for Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon were really cool for having all of the big bosses from previous games show up and say what happened in the worlds in which they won.

Runner up is wild double-battles (SOS battles). I miss in-game double battles...

Gen 8

This one is a tough one. Not that I particularly hated Gen 8, no. It's just that it was in a sort of experimental period that Gen 9 greatly improved upon. It was the first attempt at a semi-open world, and it was pretty cool, but underwhelming. But, it definitely opened up my mind to what Pokemon could be. They were finally trying new things that strayed from the original formula. Raid Dens were a neat concept, but just didn't feel like it had the epicness it was going for. The Wild Area was cool, but not as explorable as I hoped. But, at the very least, it let me know that Pokemon didn't have to be just the same linear path every generation. Maybe in the future we can finally get back to the exploration and collection that made Pokemon so enjoyable. Which led to...

Gen 9

Everything that Gen 8 was trying to do, Gen 9 improved. Not perfected. Far from it. But it started getting closer to what I imagine to be my perfect Pokemon game. I'm not going to explain my perfect Pokemon game here, but I will highlight a few things about Gen 9.

First, of course, is open-world exploration. I remember taking on the challenge of doing the gyms in reverse order. And while I would have loved some better scaling, it was just really cool to be able to do the gyms and story in my own way. I really hope they fix it up a bit and continue it.

Then, there's the story itself. The game went real. A little darker than some of the previous games, but not edgy dark. No spoilers, of course, but it was good to see characters get plenty of character growth and screentime. It was cute. It was sad. It was fun.

Raids were also improved. It still has its connection problems. But the biweekly 7-stars feel more of a challenge. I don't like that it's built around FOMO and I feel it should rotate. And when they drop support for the game, there will no longer be 7-stars. Maybe they'll patch something in, but I'm doubtful. Still. I do enjoy it better at least than previous raids.

If I could, I would also add in some of the side games to this list as well, but this is already a long post, so maybe in another.

Anyways, I'd love to hear what all other people enjoyed about these games. I know there's a lot of hate for these games every gen, and I know I've rambled about things that I would have liked to see done better. But there's also plenty to love about this franchise.

[alzerias]

My questions/theories about Genshin Impact so far:

I should start by saying I just entered Inazumi a little bit ago, so I'm not "up to speed" on the entire game yet so to speak.

Who/what is Paimon?

We know that the Traveler saved her from drowning on that beach near Mondstat, and she has been with us ever since.

However, other than that, we know nothing about her. Where did she come from? Another world? Another country? It's possible Paimon explained a little bit in the month they were traveling together before the game actually starts but us as players never get to hear it.

I've seen a few theories that Paimon may be some type of god herself, and/or also have amnesia. Amnesia would kind of make sense, but why does Paimon have so much knowledge of Teyvat (although her knowledge does seem to have holes in it at times)?

Going with the amnesia theory, we also know that Paimon has at least one year of memories. I'm not sure how much time has passed since we woke up, so it's possible Paimon has been with us for at least a year, but Paimon clearly mentions that Inazumi was not a closed nation last year, and seems rather confused about it.

I have a theory that Paimon may be able to shape shift and doesn't remember or doesn't want the Traveler to know about it. This mainly comes from the NPCs (rather mild IMO) confusion about what she is, often asking if she is a pet of some kind, or the Traveler's mascot. However, Paimon has a pretty good amount of knowledge about Teyvat, enough that I would think that she has traveled around Teyvat herself at some point. I guess she could just be well read, but I doubt it. Also, if she had stayed in one place for a long time, at least one of the countries wouldn't be surprised to see her.

Has the Traveler woken up before?

We know that the Traveler has been asleep for about 500 years (theoretically). She obviously doesn't know anything about the current Teyvat and only has a few memories of before her brother was taken (none of which seem particularly useful).

It seems strange that her brother never woke her up before then. Theoretically, right after he was taken, he would want to find her too, and GTFO. At least make sure she was alive.

I believe he did know she was alive based on his reaction to seeing her. It wasn't surprise and there definitely wasn't any kind of urgency. Just "Travel around this world and learn more of it. We've always had enough time".

Why isn't the Traveler more interested in what happened at Khanr'ah? (Yes I know I'm misspelling it but I can't remember how it's actually spelled)

IMO, this seems like a relatively important puzzle piece to the whole mystery with the Traveler's sibling, but the Traveler doesn't seem that interested.

Idk how old Venti is, but Zhongli definitely would have known. He was most likely one of the gods that attacked the city. But the Traveler never asks him anything about it.

There are two sides to every story, so perhaps the gods weren't simply just jealous of Khanr'ah, but there was something else going on.

Khanr'ah was obviously very important to the Traveler's brother, enough to try to destroy gods over. I would think the Traveler would be interested in finding out why, and why it was so important they couldn't leave.

Who is the mystery god that separated the siblings in the first place? And why separate them?

It's the big question that kick-starts the whole story after all.

I think it is going to be the Cryo god or Celestia (I believe she is an overreaching god of the entire world/Teyvat universe or something like that).

The Cryo god is obviously set up at the big bad behind the Fatui, stealing Gnosis' and being shady dicks in general. It would make sense for the Cryo god to be the big bad behind the twins' separation as well.

I got the Celestia idea from a YouTube video so my explanation isn't going to be great. Anyway, it's possible she blamed the twins for the discord in her world, and decided to punish for it/separate them to keep them from causing more trouble. Or, she didn't like how much power the twins had and decided to get rid of the threat.

Either way you look at it though, it would have made more sense for the god to kill the twins (if that was possible for her) and erase any threat entirely. I think that it's going to turn out the other sibling (the Prince/Princess depending who you're playing) was brainwashed, and the god needed one of the twins for whatever her plan was/is. The god then sent the other twin to some random ass place to sleep for 500ish years and keep them out of the way. My other theory is that the god DID take both twins, but the Traveler ended up disagreeing, and/or being too much of a handful, so the god sent the Traveler wherever to keep out of her way, and erased their memory in the case they did wake up.

Well that's all for now. Sorry for the formatting I'm on mobile and haven't quite figured it out yet.

[acertainmoshke]

Character intro: Ri Ladipo

WIP: To Die Among the Stars

Age: 41

Pronouns: he/him

Appearance: average height. Very dark skin, no hair. His visible eye is amber-brown. Much of his body is covered in mods, made of silver-colored metal and black and white wires. A boxy one covers his right eye with a large bundle of wires almost obscuring the one on his bald head and little embedded nodes covering his hands and arms.

Ri grew up in a tight-knit community with parents who cared but had little energy to show it after working long hours just to survive. The school he attended was underfunded and barely served him enough to teach him how to read, so he willingly left at 15 after his dad died to start working and help care for his 3-year-old brother, Du. Their mother worked constantly and wasn't around much, so he raised his little brother. His mom died in a factory accident when he was 27 and Du was 15. They only had each other, and Ri was an excellent older brother, but he wasn't a very good employee. He was too opinionated and protective of the values and community he came from and kept getting fired.

So he gave up and did less legal jobs. He wasn't handy enough to do mod installation, so for a while he just supplied mod parts for a pittance before discovering a more lucrative gig (details to come later when I figure them out). He made sure that Du, who was smarter than he'd ever been, was able to finish school before working, learning whatever little he could there. And for the first time, they had a little extra money and Ri decided to spend it on something fun for once. By that he meant a tattoo, but on impulse in the back of the same shop got a practical mod instead. The thrill using it gave him was a happiness like he'd never know before.

He wanted more.

Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting and using mods, but black market ones do come with a risk. Nothing bad at all happened that first time--he could work longer and harder without tiring, it was great. When he got more, the slight secret enjoyment he'd always had for math turned into documenting, counting, and calculating everything around him. He could even think about other things while doing it! He could record any part of his life to remember later. Soon he was buying mods before food, and then he started to live more in his head without really noticing, and then reality had drifted away.

And then the static came, making it hard to think. He couldn't stop counting and calculating, but also couldn't focus on emotions or physical sensations or even what was happening around him. His brain felt fuzzy and staticky. He started to have trouble talking--although he always knew what he intended to say, it tended to come out of his mouth in a vague, metaphorical version. He had records of nearly every moment, but he couldn't remember when exactly Du stopped talking or going to work. He had no memory or recorded record of how and why they ended up living at the local "Wellness Center," where people were sent when their families couldn't take care of them or they weren't safe for the community without being actual criminals.

The Center was repetitive, but generally he didn't mind. He made friends who didn't mind his communication and memory difficulties because they had them, too. They did puzzles and games and were always impressed by his inhuman speed and perfection at them. He struggled to recall his life before, and though he shared a room with Du they never spoke. But it wasn't so bad, really, except for the ever-present static.

And then people came talking about needing volunteers for this obvious suicide mission--and he realized he could finally do something. He dug up semi-redacted blueprints, his mods letting him do some instahacking, and realized it was doomed, but that he understood how to fix it. Sometime at the height of his mod obsession he had started learning more about the technical side so he could fix his own, and the high processing speed made him excellent at problem solving.

Nearly everyone volunteered, of course, so they conducted interviews. His friend, Kitty, had to translate for him and help convince them that he was more capable than he appeared, but once they understood they wanted him so much he was able to insist they bring Du, too. He didn't ask first but Du, though he didn't like the idea, also didn't put up much of a fight.

Tag list: @blind-the-winds @hd-literature

[buzzkillzine]

The year is 2005: I was in year 9 in high school and was well into my era of loving crushingly brutal heavy metal, sludge filled grunge and my hidden way underneath a secret love of pure, dumb, bubblegum pop.

Being in a small country town, the only access we had to music was the single record store in town and the local newsagent where I would buy and read music magazines.

I would usually flick through Rolling Stone but it was too mainstream for me at the time (yes, I was obnoxious back then. I'm sorry), I would read the classic rock magazines with the opinion that 'Old Music' is better than new music (I said I'm sorry, ok! I have changed. I promise) but the main magazines I devoured were Kerrang and Metal Hammer, the later being the best value for me because it would include a free CD with each issue and occasionally, on the best days, a DVD filled with new heavy music for me to discover.

The DVD issues were always great because you could watch a huge mix of bands from different genres: Black Metal, Viking metal, Death Metal, Emo/Screamo, which I usually skipped because emo 'wasn't heavy enough' (I should've just done a blanket apology at the start for most of my highschool opinions), and would include live tracks, interviews and music videos.

I forget which specific issue it was but I was working my way through the DVD one day, skipped past a couple of emo songs and then onto the screen of my very old television came this image...

At first I thought it was going to be some black metal band, in Corpse paint, holding some satanic sermon. The song was called Burning Beard by a band called Clutch. That didn't sound heavy. I might skip it. But then, the band appeared...

Clutch? Who's that?

Who were these bunch of Dads?

Then, the there was lyrics...

Every day, I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN

Every day, I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in

What? And what the hell was this time signature they were playing in?

Every time I look out my window same three dogs looking back at me

Every time I open my windows cranes fly in to terrorize me

I was puzzled. This band that looked like a bunch of men who got together on the weekend to play a set of covers at the local pub were playing the most exciting thing I had heard since I started buying Metal Hammer. They didn't wear chains, didn't have long hair, weren't screaming, didn't have wild guitar solos... they just fucken rocked. Hard.

The lyrics are still some of the best bits of weird poetry with hidden layers and meanings that I've heard.

Swan diving off the tongues of crippled giants

Okkam's razor makes the cutting clean

I was hooked and had to find out more.

I bought the album Robot Hives, then went back and got Blast Tyrant. Then over the years, Clutch have become one of my favourite bands.

They pulled me out of so many shitty preconceptions I had about music, people and life in general.

Oh this burning beard I have come undone

It's just as I've feared, I have, I have come undone

A decade or so after first hearing them, while hosting my community radio show, I played a Clutch song. The text line lit up with people asking 'who is this? It's great!'. These listeners would then fall in love with the band the same way I did.

I guess the moral of this story is to not judge books by their cover. Enjoy the stuff you like, even if it's not what you have painstakingly engineered your entire personality around. Admit that it's ok to like different things and that your opinion on music is subjective and can also be flat out wrong.

Oh. And go and listen to Clutch.

[theprismaticvoid]

I played the Pikmin 4 Demo and I'm going fucking bananas

short version: I am incoherently making gorilla noises, both out of hype and trying to figure out how I'm gonna get the money to play it when it releases

long version:

Oh my god this looks so good.

Graphics are even better than 3 Deluxe. Large environments with lots of detail, running at a pretty smooth framerate from my experience. Playing on stock, model 1 graybox Switch (the one without the better battery life; I've heard they perform slightly better in games that tend to lag) in docked mode, I was taken aback by how great everything looked despite being on a console that's years old and which everyone says is in desperate need of a successor.

Controls feel admittedly a little worse than 3. They're not necessarily bad but they did still feel a little bit stiffer than they should. You have broader control over the camera than in any other past Pikmin game. It's cool seeing these worlds from more dynamic angles than before but it also means you have to pay more attention to the camera so you have a proper view of the action, vs other Pikmin games where you can basically just ignore it short of turning your character completely around. I did also notice some weird jank with objects clipping through the camera or the angle suddenly changing when it gets too close to a wall, but those weren't a huge deal and could hopefully be smoothed out between now and release day.

I did not like the auto lock on with the cursor. I looked through the options for a way to disable it but didn't find one - assuming it's not just a "Viv is dumb and misses the obvious moment" and there really isn't any option for it, I hope one is added for the final game.

It feels really strange how the charge, the main mechanic of 3, is missing at the start? You unlock it pretty quickly but it still seemed strange to lock that, and it really made me nervous that they were going to remove it altogether.

That being said, those are pretty much my main criticisms so far. As for the rest:

Caves

Caves feel nice this time around. I really didn't like them in 2 and I was nervous about them being the focal point of this game, but I think they've been handled well so far. Obviously I can't fully judge when the full game isn't here yet (especially since the main problems about 2's dungeons didn't come up until the mid-to-late game), but adding more puzzle elements to even the earliest caves makes me think they have more plans to keep them unique than in 2.

I normally don't like conveyor belt gimmicks in games, but including stuff like Oatchi's dash being able to get you across belts going the wrong direction makes it a lot more tolerable.

I like the idea of time passing slower in caves instead of stopping altogether... though the complete lack of a timer while underground is a REALLY bizarre inclusion and I hope it gets added to the final release (assuming it's not an upgrade, which would be a strange decision, but still better than nothing).

Pikmin

Pikmin types you don't have an Onion for yet being treated more like "treasure" is an... interesting choice. I do think it's a potentially cool way of handling potentially OP types like Purple or Ice, but I'd have to see how the final game handles them before making decisions - especially with how trailers show the Onion is divided into three "petals" and the trailers showed each of those petals turning into a different color, which makes it seem to me like you'll only get Onions for the Red, Yellow, and Blue ones this time around?

I suppose that concept could work, I just really really hope that there's nothing like the Doomsday Apparatus in 2 where it suddenly requires a massive amount of a difficult-to-get type of Pikmin out of nowhere, requiring a lot of extra grinding if you want to 100% the game.

There's generally a lot of little quality of life improvements that make the Pikmin feel a little better to use. If you target a puddle of nectar and start throwing, your captain will default to throwing leaves first, then buds, and only flowers if there are none of the other two in the type you have selected. There's also other stuff like when you try to enter a cave, the game pops up a screen that tells you what elements it contains, lets you rearrange your squad without going back to the Onion, and even has a single button that makes your squad have an equal amount of every Pikmin type the cave needs.

New Pikmin types

Ice Pikmin are a fun addition! The whole idea of making the Ultra-Bitter Spray into more of a passive ability is cool; it requires that you bring a lot of Ice Pikmin into battle with you, find an opening, and make them attack, versus how the Ultra-Bitter Spray was just a "fuck you I win" button in 2. It still feels like a cheap tactic in the demo, but I imagine it'll be more difficult to pull off on bosses in the final game.

I was worried Ice Pikmin + Oatchi being able to swim would devalue Blue Pikmin again, but the demo made me less worried about it. What they didn't show in the trailers is that Ice Pikmin need to stay in the lake to keep it frozen; if you call them out, it unfreezes after about ten seconds or so. So if you use thirty Ice Pikmin to freeze a lake, that's thirty Pikmin you don't have access to for a while. Also, Oatchi being able to swim seems to be an unlockable ability you'll get later, I tried it in the demo and he started drowning.

I'm a bit surprised that the demo doesn't include a nighttime stage (or at least if it does, I didn't find a way to trigger it) so that we could see how the Glow Pikmin work.

Story

I'm a bit confused about the story they've shown so far. The game's opening seems to be a retelling of Pikmin 1 at first, showing how Olimar crashed on PNF-404, discovered Pikmin for the first time, and recruited them in helping him repair the Dolphin... but then suddenly it shows that Olimar found a dog on the planet and recruited it to help him? And the opening level is him in a house, an environment that Olimar never went to in 1? And that when he found the Interstellar Radio, he decided to put out an SOS and wait for help to arrive?

This is so irreconcilable with what happened in 1 (no dog, no indoor environments, plus Olimar's life support system was failing in that game so stopping and it's stated in-game that waiting for help is not an option for him) that the only explanation that makes any sense is that 4 is a reboot of the series, but then it seems strange that they both didn't say that at any point in the marketing material, AND decided to call it "Pikmin 4" as if it's a direct continuation of the three games before it.

The only other explanation is that the intro misspoke when it said Olimar "discovered" the Pikmin, this is another time he's crashed, and nobody is mentioning the events of the past games for no reason.

I really hope the final game finally gives us some kind of explanation for why EVERYONE crashes onto PNF-404. 3 said there was some sort of invisible force manipulating the Drake into crashing; I hope that gets elaborated on in this game, with how the plot revolves around how the Dolphin, the Shepherd, and who knows HOW many civilian ships all crashed in a relatively short amount of time.

Being able to make your own captain is such a fun concept though, and I like that they're casually namedropping some other planets in the Pikmin universe as well.

I don't really have a wrap-up for this post so. That's it I guess.

[2x4plank]

Procrastinating on work, so I'm going to waste my time talking about the first horror game I ever played, Luigi's Mansion (2001).

I am not old enough to have been around when Resident Evil was just coming out, nor was I old enough to get my mom to buy them for me--but this was a "Mario" game, so of course I could play it before I hit the double digits.

It was amazing. First of all, I've always been a Luigi over Mario kind of person, so I was really excited to have a game that was just about him. Second of all, I loved boos. I had a birthday cake with a boo on it, but loved boos so much, that I wouldn't allow other kids to eat him. We just cut around it and kept boo in the freezer. So this game was perfect for me.

Anyway, Luigi's Mansion was right on my level. The game is pretty dialogue heavy for a Mario game, but this allows you to get a feel for Luigi's thoughts and the many unique ghost personalities you'll come across.

There were puzzles, but they weren't that hard. They often relied on the player being observant, checking their environment and seeing what stood out. This brings me to my next point: Gameboy Horror examination is one of my favorite aspects of the game. Not only do you learn about your surroundings, but you get to see Luigi's opinions on ghost fashion and the upkeep of the mansion.

As for the horror element, I would say the graphics and sound design make it the scariest of the three Luigi's Mansion games. The baby (Chauncey, I think?) screaming and the butler (Shivers?) were especially unsettling to me as a child. I also hated those screaming ghosts who would strangle Luigi from behind. Regarding the sound design, the noise of the ghosts appearing was pretty eerie as well. It was enough to dissuade me from playing at night, but not enough to give me nightmares.

There's enough intrigue to keep kids invested, but it isn't overly complicated (like the lore of a certain other horror franchise). Generally, if you go looking for an answer in Luigi's Mansion, you will find it.

The ending is quite sweet as well, and it's nice to see just how much Luigi values his brother and the lengths he's willing to go to in order to save him.

All the boos also have names that are puns, which is pretty cool.

So I would say it's a pretty solid game! The only complaint I have is that fatphobic joke when you pull the curtain back on the showering ghost. I didn't get it when I was a kid, but didn't like it then either. My initial reasoning was just, "I don't want to expose someone in the shower." But now I realize the joke was that she looked slim behind the curtain but fat when you pull it back, and that takes away from my enjoyment a bit.

Without this game, I probably wouldn't have the appreciation for horror I have now. It set me up for the inspection-then-action horror I would get into as I grew older.

Luigi's Mansion was a great example of horror for kids, but it makes me doubly disappointed at the horror for kids nowadays. The indie mascot horror boom is crazy, and it gets tiring seeing Jermie's Kindergarten Haunts or whatever junk people can crank out overnight explode on YouTube because kids will eat it up.

And understanding the indie scene's mutable, I don't doubt that things will change soon. There are many cool indie horror games out, and some yet to come. This is just a rather unfortunate phase, and it's more a problem with horror capitalizing on kids than anything else.

[certified-opinion-haver]

God of War: Ragnarok (2022)

Platform: PS5

Content completed: Main Story (Give me balance), roughly half of side content (no post-campaign content).

Synopsis: After bringing on Fimbelwinter during their fight with Baldur, Kratos and Atreus find themselves back in their life of seclusion until a mysterious stranger approaches with a peace offering. After Kratos refuses to make a deal with this stranger he and his son find themselves on a journey through the realms to deny fate.

Spoilers Ahead

The follow-up to one of 2018's biggest games had a large set of shoes to fill. Will it better? worse? the same? different?

The story is very clearly the major focus of this experience, as with the previous entry, there is a major focus on family and parent-hood. As Atreus has now entered his teen years he has started to keep secrets of his own, whereas most teenagers sneak out for beer Atreus sneaks out to talk to gigantic snakes.

I am not going to just detail all aspects of the plot as it would take away from the games major selling point but I will give my opinions you can make an informed decision before embarking on this lengthy quest. Unfortunately, even though has major strengths and some incredibly emotional scenes, it's killed by pacing (the same fate that the 2018 entry suffered). Heading into the last hours of the game I was waiting for the credits to finally roll, the game has such a smug pretense of excellence that it rarely achieves, a lot of the character writing is really poor with Atreus sounding like is straight out of an MCU project for most of the game (Sunny Suljic's performance is MUCH weaker this time around) with only Kratos talking and behaving in a way that fights the time period and setting.

Mimir is still around to deliver dull exposition during the games many travel sequences, whether it be navigating a stream or sledding across the frozen lake. These sequences are no worse than they were in the previous entry but after 4 years and a brand new console generation I don't think its too much to expect some improvement, this complaint also leads onto the games side quests. They are just as underdeveloped as in 2018 and only serve as busy work in-between main story beats.

The gameplay has had very little work done (if any at all), Kratos starts with his axe and blades this time around (and unlocks an additional weapon by the end of act 2) but it all feel very samey, as far as I can recall you don't unlock any new abilities that weren't present previously and the combat encounters all feel very similar. It's hard to feel like a powerful god of combat when exploding worms that 2 or 3 hits each. The combat is still hankered with the over-the-shoulder camera which I do not think works in the slightest in the multi-enemy combat encounters, but does really create and impressive fight during the one on one boss fights.

The boss fights are a part that I will give props towards, they are major improvement this time around and do provide exciting set-pieces and the most engaging gameplay, the absolute stand out for me was the battle with Heimdall whose fight is part puzzle and part brawl.

It's bizarre to say that a minimum 40 hour game feels like DLC, but it just does. Very little of the game feels like it's been tweaked or improved and for a game that had some really glaring faults the first time around that isn't great. If you loved GoW 2018 and just want more time with these characters then this will leave you satisfied...if not a little bloated.

6/10