#the queer friendship group i always needed

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[audiovisualrecall]

Sad to b left behind

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Most Underrated BLs of the last 3 years

(mid year 2021 - end 2023)

This list will not include BLs that ended their run in 2024. I need some distance to know if something is actually underrated (We Are maybe?) or justifiably ignored.

1 I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan 2023 Netflix?)

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, increasingly unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life, which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review.

2 My Ride (Thai 2022 Gaga)

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever pulp to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest, and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi rider in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review.

3 Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan 2023 Gaga)

A lonely salaryman (+ talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid (and his little brother). I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the original yaoi (which is very dear to my heart). And they did! Paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

4 About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit. Full review.

5 Step By Step (Thai 2023 Gaga)

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This office romance between a stern boss and sweet subordinate felt more authentic to cubical work than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. That authenticity added tension to the narrative and its characters development (how novel). I also really enjoyed the charming side characters and the brothers' relationship to each other (although I could have done without that brother's side BL). Full review.

6 DNA Says Love You (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming. Full review.

7 Unintentional Love Story (Korea 2023 iQIYI)

Of all the BLs on this list, this is probubly the MOST underrated. OMG the plot! Uke forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the PAIN in those gorgeous eyes. Gah. Okay, so: A boy loses his job due to trumped-up corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back, if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Full review.

8 Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul (Thai 2022 iQIYI)

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than its ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL. It’s set up well, there’s no surprise unpleasantness like HIStory 3: The BL that shall not be named. Full review.

9 Destiny Seeker (Thai 2023 WeTV)

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and excellent communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. (Also WAR PEANUTS!) Full review.

10 Make a Wish (Thai 2023 grey)

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and made of swagger. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It has sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

10 others I rarely see anyone talk about:

Triage - Many would put this at the top of the list, but I don't find it very rewatchable and that weighs a lot in my assessments. Still it is GOOD and very underrated. BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for doctor! Unfortunately… stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikeable, as required). My reason it's not in the top 10? If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show it's just time loop is not a trope I personally enjoy. Review here.

See You After Quarantine? - This under appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charmg and adorable yet still as quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. Honestly how does Taiwan do it?

The Tasty Florida - I don't know, maybe it's Speed nostalgia, but I love this one, classic Korean BL with all those strengths and flaws... but The Prettiest.

You Make Me Dance - it's Korea but somehow they got this one, maybe by featuring mature characters and a real world crisis? Also they both ve hot.

Blueming - at the time it got a lot of attention but it seems to have faded into obscurity under the shod of The 8th Sense and Love of Love's Sack. This was a precurser to both and well worth a watch if you like it when Korea gets a little gritty.

Love Stage!! (Thai version) - I liked this IP alerady more than most. But this is the best of the 4 adaptations, and the first full Thai version of Japanese IP. It's both charming and notable in the industry. Hard to find and that's why it gets so little creddit but I think it's well worth the effort to track down.

Oh! Boarding House - I think most who watched this din't jive with it because it's an ensamble piece witha wicked love traingle. But I really enjoyed it. It felt like the move Kdrama BL that Korea has given us and I like me some Kdramas.

What Zabb Man! - one of the better BLs to come out of Star Hunter in the last few years. I like this pair a lot more than most, and the sides are wicked great. This is probably one of my favorite food themed BLs, actually.

2 Moons The Ambassador - possibly the lowest scoring BL to appear on this list but I just really like the leads. Nothing else is good, but they are kinda awkwardly fantastic. I also like how gay af the seme is.

Stay By My Side - This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Despite a strong initial premise it ended up mostly being enjoyable for sappy domesticity but nothing more. Still, I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity.

Requested by the lovely @l1xyz

FYI: I judge “underrated” on the strength of what I see people talk about (or more precisely not talk about) on social media, MDL reviews, and YouTube watch numbers (when available, as compared to comparable shows from the same country). 

Because of this, statistically, there will always be quite a few BLs that are difficult to get hold of.

Here's my pulls of the Top Underrated BLs prior to 2021. Considering the amount of content generated over the last few years, the pool to draw from is likely about the same.

My Top 10 Most Underrated BLs prior to 2021

Seven Days

Restart after Come Back Home

Wish You

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding

He’s Coming to Me

Oxygen

My Day

Most Peaceful Place

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

HIStory: Obsessed

I'd throw Great Men Academy in there, but I always dither over whether it actually is a BL.

[bengiyo]

Knock Knock, Boys! is an Ideal First BL for New Viewers

I often talk on @the-conversation-pod about how I react to BL from the lens of a queer media critic actively trying to recruit queer media viewers to BL. I want those viewers to join us in BL, and so I value shows that have strong character writing and satisfying resolutions for their drama. New viewers don’t always understand or recognize romance or BL tropes right away, and sometimes things go over their heads. In that vein, Knock Knock, Boys! may be one of the most useful shows I’ve encountered in the last year for this exact purpose. 

Rating: 9, Highly Recommended

Runtime: 12 50+ minute episodes

Country: Thailand

Network: WeTV

Availability: WeTV, GagaOOlala

Knock Knock, Boys! places four young men at a transitional point in their lives. Split evenly between first-year college students and working adults, each character is running from something. Peak is running from a marriage to a woman, Thanwa is running from a bad relationship with his ex-boyfriend, Latte is running towards graduation, and Almond is running away from his sheltered existence. Over the course of the show, these two pair off based on their shared age brackets in one of the most sex-positive shows I’ve seen this year, with a common theme about how honesty and commitment to each other gives people the space they need to grow. More than anything, this show values patience and kindness in relationships in a way that I cannot overstate.

As the ice starts to break, they learn that Thanwa and Latte have had active sex lives (Thanwa exclusively with men, and Latte with all sorts of people) and establish a rhythm within their home. Thanwa makes most of their meals, and Almond has to wake Latte up every day because he ignores alarms. The original conceit that connects our quartet beyond their shared housing incident comes from Almond promising to pay the rent for a year for anyone who helps him lose his virginity to his high school crush, Jumper. Hijinks ensue as the boys try to befriend Jumper, and angle for him and Almond to grow closer. As with any story like this, Latte ends up developing feelings for Almond, while Peak and Thanwa grow closer. 

More spoilers ahead, I want to talk about each character, and what I liked so much about each. These boys became one of my favorite friend groups we’ve had in a while. I am a huge fan of age gaps in queer friendships, and this show has much of it.

Thanwa: Played by the talented Seng Wichai, Thanwa is a great answer to the question of “Where do the quiet gays go?” He clearly knows his way around cruising spots, or knows how to use the apps, and yet everything we know about his shows that he’s geared towards domestic life and his hobbies. He dresses like a normie all the time, he loves cooking, and he loves eating. He’s clearly a thoughtful and reliable friend, and it’s that commitment and reliability that eventually gets him a job he actually wants to do. More than anything, he gave far more grace to a closeted man he cared about than I ever expected AND HE WON. Seng remains one of my favorite BL performers because of his ability to play ugly and goofy. He’s so beautiful because he is capable of playing weirdos well. 

Peak: Played by BL veteran Best Vittawin, Peak is running from compulsory heteronormativity. He’s expected to marry the daughter of a family close to theirs, and he is letting this all happen to keep his stern father happy. Peak has been running away from himself ever since his mom died. He saw how much that hurt his dad, and he’s struggled to be a problem-free son for a long time as a result. The weight of expectation on him presses down on Peak so hard that he can’t even focus half the time, and literally zones out as he tries to cope. Best gives a wonderful performance as Peak, especially in the final episodes, as he finally unburdens himself and blossoms as a result. This is my favorite Best character of all time, and Peak is one of my favorite portrayals of what it means to love someone enough for them to leave the closet on their own terms. 

Almond: Played by Nokia Chinnawat, who appeared in Thank God It’s Friday (2019), Almond is such a fun view into what modern gay boys could be like. He’s young and horny, and he wants to get laid! He’s not embarrassed about this, but he is shy. I loved the way the show used his enthusiasm as a way to further its PSA agenda in such a fun way. Almond is also one of the few rich kids we’ve had in these dramas that isn’t inherently insufferable. I like how his wealth mostly comes up as a problem solving tool, and he doesn’t feel too much like a snob after the first few interactions. I also loved his arc of getting over his unrequited crush on Jumper into recognizing his feelings for Latte. Nokia himself shows a real knack for physical comedy and expressiveness that makes me genuinely want to follow his career beyond this show. 

Latte: Played by Jaonine Jiraphat, Latte fills the role of our sexually experienced queer in the group. Confidently pansexual, Latte was so much fun for me because he and Thanwa had no shame about the sex and relationships they’ve had before. I loved how consistently Latte was shown to be emotionally present and sincere in all of his relationships. It could have been so easy to present him as promiscuous or slutty, and instead they present him as beloved. Every one of his former lovers we encountered seemed happy to see him again, and also resolved about the time they’d spent together. More than anything, I deeply appreciated how patient he was with Almond without suddenly becoming a sexless being because his boyfriend was shy or nervous. Jaonine was incredibly charming in this role, and I hope casting directors take notice. 

The Supporting Cast: The supporting characters were perfectly calibrated for their roles in this show. Jumper (Pak Varayu) made total sense as Almond’s crush, and has a great arc of Almond falling out of love with him, and becoming briefly enemies with Almond before reconciling. Lookpeach (Guitar Tunthita) plays the role of the modern faghag in a way that feels like Thai BL doing corrective work on the role of fandom in BL, and I have deep love for this character. Jane (Naya Gorrawiya) is the friend that everyone deserves; I loved the reveal about how personal her understanding and support for Peak has been this whole time. This show even calibrated it’s villain well in Max (Tuss Thotsawat), who showed that there are far worse things than cheating in broken relationships. 

Final Thoughts: I am so excited to show this show to my friend Emily, who’s been watching BL with me since early covid lockdowns. While this show has a few small stumbles that keep it from getting a 10, I don’t want to downplay how refreshing it was to watch a show that had a clear vision of what it wanted to be, and executed it the whole time. I commented during episode 1 that it felt more like a romcom than a BL, and the show said that through Lookpeach in its final episode! It built believable queer friendships in front of us, and understood the emotional core of most of its angst and drama all the way through. This show avoided veering too far into melodrama, and remembered that it was a romantic comedy the entire time. It also managed to be consistently sex-positive without feeling exploitative of its talent, or by letting the audience down on the sex front (I will be thinking about Almond and Latte’s first time and the morning after for a long time). This show also has parents apologizing for the knots they tied their children into. I don’t know a better Thai show airing during this season. This show is a real delight, and one I urge you all to show your friends who might be looking for a gay romcom. 

[doublel27]

We Are: Queer Found Family and Romance

Or the meta I didn’t intend to write.

It’s taken 9 eps (of me admittedly watching We Are through gifs and clips on Twitter, because I have yet to pay for iQIYI and I am bad at grey watching) but I think I have figured out the central conflict/plot of We Are and why the mostly linear narrative of Phum and Peem with the in media res relationships of our other three pairings made this impossible to fully tease out until we got all the pieces.

The through line that connects all of these stories about how incredibly hard it can be to be part of a queer friend group when the lines of friendship and romance blur, especially when there’s a real aspect of found family to that group.

Two things really cemented it for me this week: Tan telling the gang (and therefore the audience) the full scope of his background with Fang, as well as the beginning of Phuwin’s IG live where he talks about why he likes Kluen as a character is that he’s very direct with people he likes and isn’t blurring the lines between friends and possibly fucking up the friendship.

Because that’s the central problem that all four main couples of the show grapple with in different ways. I’m gonna get into all of that under the cut.

I’m going to start with Tan and Fang because aou contains multitudes and is my beloved while going for Fang could have always messed up his relationship with Phum, we find out in episode 9 that Tan met Fang first. Unsurprisingly, it’s not a great first meeting between what are seemingly two known fighters of what appear to be rival high schools. But then Tan finds Phum and Fang being jumped by a group from his own high school and saves them and eventually becomes friends with them sometime two years+ before the start of our story. Within this time, Tan falls so far in love with Fang, who can both out bitch and out fight, him that Tan goes full simp instead and cuts out the fighting(love that for him).

And mixing his reveal to his friends of how he met Fang and how Fang eventually consumed his waking thoughts to the point he would wish to order Fang as a pizza topping (my love for Tan is immeasurable).

But take us back to episode 2 (which is now on YouTube for US watchers for how long I don’t know) and Tan has clearly not seen Fang in awhile. He asks Phum to invite Fang out where Tan will happen to be. At the time, it was taken as Tan and Phum are university friends and Tan and been obsessed with Fang ever since and needs Phum to make the connections. But the clues that Tan and Fang were also close were already laid down. Their exchange goes:

Tan: Hey. It’s been awhile. Right?

Fang: I thought you were dead.

Tan: Come on. I haven’t seen you in ages either. (That’s the English translation, but the flow of the conversation connotes that Fang hasn’t sought him out either)

At which point Phum makes the face he always makes when Tan is in Fang hyperfocus mode of looking away and sighing. And Fang pointedly asks why Phum invited him out and what is going on.

Which is a weird exchange when you think Tan is Phum’s friend who is obsessed with Fang. It is a less weird exchange between friends that have been avoiding each other for an unspecified amount of time. And we can assume Tan started avoiding Fang because he was madly in love with him and didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t tell Fang why he was avoiding him.

In the episode 9 speech to his friends, Tan outlines that he didn’t think Fang would ever reciprocate his feelings (that it was impossible) and didn’t want to fuck with the friendship (at which point Pun sends a longing look to Chain but we’ll get back to that later) with Fang and Phum and he buried it. Until he couldn’t live with it any longer and decided to do something about it.

Which with the limited information we have, his feelings were already fucking with his friendship. He already didn’t know how to approach Fang because of his feelings at the start of the show, so is it better to not try and hope the romantic feeling dies while avoiding your friend or shoot your shot and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or maybe continue to fuck up your friendship. Tan chooses to roll the dice and it’s clear from the moment they leave the bar in episode two that Fang likes him back.

They both watch each other when they think the other isn’t looking. Fang is the one who sends Phum and Peem home together and sets himself up with a taxi ride with Tan. It’s particularly interesting to me after episode 9, this exchange, because Fang looks at a passed out Peem, mouths Peem? And proceeds to ask Phum if this is the guy that hit him while Tan snickers and Peem looks like the saddest wet cat. It’s only after the affirmative from Phum that Fang is essentially like “well, you can take him home Phum. Take home your drunk friend who hit you and I will go home with Tan.” Which our besotted Tan jumps at.

And considering the parallel between Tan and Fang meeting and Tan immediately sassing him and Fang throwing a punch leading to a fight, and Phum ruining Peem’s painting which led to mutual sassing and a kick to the nuts and a fight…I don’t know if Fang is a mastermind and connected the dots because these brothers need someone who will occasionally not be afraid talk back if need be and sees the potential for Phum to care as much about Peem as Fang does for Tan. Or if he just wants time alone with Tan and doesn’t see it. Look, I wouldn’t be surprised if Fang is secretly a long game mastermind.

Once they’re alone, Tan and Fang steal glances and flirt in the way that Tan makes very loud attempts at flirting and

Additionally, Fang is reserved like Phum, and seemingly as isolated as his only friends seem to be Phum’s friends. We don’t know if he is just not paying attention to other members of the architecture faculty or knows stuff about Kluen he won’t share. As previous parts of this narrative are folded in later episodes, we may find out. What we do know is he’s either ever only appeared alone or in connection to Tan and Phum and Phum’s friends. Even with the flashbacks, Tan points out that the head of the Fang, head of cheer club, approaches him alone and later it’s just Fang and Phum when Tan finds the group of guys jumping them. We know he and Phum adopt Toey who is bullied in high school. It makes sense why he’s potentially reserved about pushing things with Tan if Tan becomes his first real high school+ friend that he has outside of his brother.

Which is why by the time we get to episode 5, Fang says yes before Tan finishes talking. He’s been waiting but also wasn’t willing to be the first to put himself out there. And considering how much Fang and Phum seem to live in their heads and not in the world with everyone else, I can see why he needed Tan to be the one to commit to it first, especially with Fang’s later comments about not understanding why hanging out with him is a preference of Tan’s. I do hope we cross his “don’t tell tan how gone I am on him” bridge later in the narrative. Cause I think Tan knows, but also it’s nice to hear.

Let’s go back to another long-suffering pair where only one half really knew why they were suffering, and the other got a nasty shock, QToey.

I know the guys are all team if Toey loves Q and Q loves Toey then why is Q so hesitant? And I get it, but let’s talk about the double shock Q suffered and the potential layers of risk Q is facing.

It’s not just that Q is cautious with his heart. That is a factual truth. It’s why he ghosted Milk Frappe Boy, because while he fell in love with Milk Frappe Boy I think there was a deep worry, and a self esteem issue that the reality of Q, instead of Pencil Senior, would not be enough for Milk Frappe boy. So Q bolted and then deeply regretted said bolting enough say so to both Toey, not knowing the truth, and to Peem.

But the fact that he learned that Toey was indeed Milk Frappe boy at the same time he learned all of his best friends, his family for all intents and purposes, also knew and no one told him. And the way the confrontation is staged between Q and Toey, it is Q against Toey and everyone else is behind Toey.

And that, friends, that’s the real third rail for Q.

It’s one thing to know that he loved Milk Frappe Boy and that he loves Toey. And that is scary enough. The fandom loves to joke about how Toey is everyone’s little brother and they’ve all adopted him: and that is a correct assessment. But that means if Q fucks it up with Toey, he stands a chance in his mind of everyone else choosing Toey over him.

That fear doesn’t even feel that unfounded when everyone calmed Toey down mostly before Peem, Q’s true bestest friend, came out to be with him. Like Peem caught Toey before going after Q. The next episode nearly every character but Q (aside from Fai who is at all connected to this group) shows up to plan how to support Toey in getting Q.

And while I know my brain cell-less brain trust fully believe they’re helping Q, no one actually seems to ask what Q wants. Aside from Peem trying to get him to come to some that first night on the curb, no one ever asks. And that night all Q wants is to sleep in a pile with his four best friends, because that’s his family. Losing them is even scarier than losing Toey. In essence he’s lost Milk Frappe Boy once. He could do it again. But if they chose Toey…IDK.

We don’t know anything about their families really, aside from Peem’s lovely aunt and the fact that Phum doesn’t get along with his dad. And I get why when the focus is really on these large groups of found families (that are becoming one large found family) that the audience is really in love with. The bonds between the friends are just as much a part of the romance as the actual romances. Because the friendship is where the complications come from.

And while I can’t speak to mlm spaces, as I have never identified as a man, within queer wlw and non-binary spaces there are jokes about dating yourself out of friend groups. There are people you used to know who you don’t anymore because you dated someone in the friend group and were too new and got bounced. Or you date and the way it ends make everyone choose one side. Or, a person in the friend group has a crush on another person in said group, that is an open secret but when the person who was crushed upon gets a new relationship people get mad at them for not dating the person in the friend group who liked them all along because didn’t everyone know. (None of these are from personal experience I assure you 🙃)

And it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes the people figure out a friendship or a queer platonic solution when they’re not attracted to each other anymore. Sometimes they orbit around the friend group like two comets on opposite trajectories, occasionally crossing in awkward moments. Sometimes everyone gets past the weird. Sometimes no one does.

But that’s the risk that we’re playing in this show. I can choose the romance, but if it doesn’t work out, I am gambling this safe zone.

Which is gonna bring me to our last two pieces of this: one has had the most development and one the least but both are struggling.

I’m gonna start with Chain and Pun who are the most unhinged, gay yearning codependent besties that exist in the middle of the week and give Potae and Payos on Only Boo a real run for their money. (Both have lips touching earlobes and I don’t have a platonic answer for either) The thing is, I think both Chain and Pun are very aware of the mutual feelings. They both have moments where you know they’re aware but neither will do anything about it. And they are in the case of the story, the most embedded in one single friend group, and have the potential to explode their core group of five if things go sideways.

Now, they’re also the pair that has been effectively dating this entire time without actually dating. The ear biting and the blowing on things in the other’s mouth and the…I don’t have platonic explanations for their behavior okay? I don’t. Not naming it keeps it from being real though. It’s a collective hallucination or the biggest game of chicken.

Eventually, though, one of them is going to cross the line in a way that can’t be erased or the line redrawn. And it’s gonna have to be big because their friends watched them gaze longingly into each other's eyes for 20+ seconds and thought it was normal. Because this is how they are.

And that brings us to not quite friends not quite lovers and not quite enemies, Phum and Peem. The risk is, as discussed in many other metas, mostly on Phum’s side here and it’s why he spent the episode so hesitant. Yes he started off particularly entitled and rude. His and Peem’s relationship started as a fight (but so did Tan and Fang) and Phum feels incredibly comfortable with Peem. He’s definitely neurodivergent coded my Phum, which doesn’t make his assholery okay, but it explains his hesitancy to try new things and his struggle with making friends and expressing his feelings.

He’s got friends but he doesn’t feel particularly deeply connected to them. Yes, Beer makes time for him and actively seeks him out to give advice. He and Fang have a level of sibling codependency that hints at neglect and Fang protecting Phum at all costs. We see Tan approach Phum most of the time and while some of that is angling to get to Fang, Tan does genuinely care. But Tan is also incredibly loud which seems to be a lot for our neurospicy Phum, and Tan also has his large found family with Peem. Same with Toey, who Phum and Fang adopted long ago, and clearly Phum adores him, but he’s also the little brother of the art faculty.

And Peem is a very loving and giving soul and he makes time and space for Phum even though he’s annoying and high handed and gets Phum out of his ruts and comfort zones. And Phum clearly wants Peem to choose him, because Phum has already chosen even if he hasn’t said “I like you and want to date you.” He’s said other very direct things about how safe he feels with Peem and how connected he feels to other people by hanging out with Peem. And Peem is this safe space for him to go out and connect with the world without it being overwhelming and he even feels more connected to his own friends.

And that’s the danger that Kluen represents and what Phum struggles with. He wants Peem to choose him, but he also doesn’t want to force Peem to make a choice and not choose him, and then lose out on the experiences he’s building with Peem as well as a break in some of the connections he has with the people closest to him as Fang and Toey find love within Peem’s group. And so again, the question comes around, is it better to stay in this limbo where no one says anything and maybe Peem dates Kluen but I get to keep him as a friend, or do I roll the dice like Tan and maybe win.

I think it’s been a hard thread to pull because without the context of Tan & Fang meeting first, and Phum and Peem mending their relationship to become something akin to friends who kiss sometimes and don’t talk about it, and the lingering feelings of betrayal for Q by his friends (where they learned about his largest secret/mystery and NO ONE TOLD HIM) which are later revelations in the course of the show, they feel like different types of love stories without the mess of friendship blurring the lines. The story feels linear, because we start in a school year with the meeting of Phum and Peem, the connections between the other characters are older than this year, leaving some of their stories in media res.

And it’s an interesting core struggle taking a risk when the line between who you’re friends with, who you depend on, and who you’re attracted to blurs and the potential for rifts in your safety net are everywhere. It’s not the first show with this as a central tangle nor is it specific to queer television. But the reality of the deep ties that can exist within queer friendships and how they form deep supportive communities makes the stakes higher. And that’s why the friendships are developed nearly as much if not more than some of the romances. That’s where a lot of the risk lies for these characters.

Anyway, that’s nearly 3K of thoughts I didn’t know I had in me about We Are until today. But here we are.

[a-a-a-anon]

absolutely fascinated by young dee who is criminally under-discussed so here is my dissertation on what happened in her college years (ft. dr. gainer, setting her roommate on fire, being institutionalized)/my idea for a fic that I will almost certainly never write/my way too serious take on a few throwaway dee lore lines

timeline background: we know that dee majored in psychology ('charlie got molested') and got "three fourths" of the way in (meanwhile dennis finished his psych minor.) assuming this was a four year program, I'm gonna guess that in her third year she got institutionalized and most likely had to drop out ('gun fever too: still hot'.) we also know that she had her back brace until she was twenty ('underage drinking'), so I'm guessing that means she got her back brace off in her third year.

we know that dennis fancied himself a psychologist since he was young, but I think dee did too. in particular I think she was wary and interested in her brother's psychology; she seems very aware of his psychopathy and bpd in 'making dennis reynolds a murderer' and 'psycho pete returns.' in my head she's been interested in dennis' psychology since they were kids and she saw him snapping crows necks. so instead of forcing her way into acting school, she studied psychology to better understand her brother (and also deep down, herself, who is very much the other side of the same fucked up coin.) it also meant she could tell herself she could study her characters even better when she became an actress.

i think she put in (her version of) genuine academic effort to get in, fuelled kind of by spite (remember the way she studied that thick medical book in 'hero or hate crime' or her very quick math in 'boggs: ladies reboot'). she studies books and gets cricket to quiz her and she still fails to get into penn. but frank always pitied her (i think she was his favorite of the twins-remember "let your sister into the gang", "that's my girl!", "i'm sorry the grift didn't work out, sweetie") so he shells out cash to get her in, but also to get her away from home so he has to deal with her even less.

dennis wants to do anything dee does but better and he wants to keep her close by (to watch her crash and burn, and also because he's weirdly possessive-see 'the gang broke dee' "i'm your select!"). and obviously he's barbara's favorite. so barbara gives him money to get in too. she also gets him into a frat and pays for his classes and his rent and everything he needs. dee has to live in a dumpy dorm with a female roommate.

but college presents dee a chance to moult her previous place in life where she was known as a monster (remember how insistent she was that "people can change!" in 'franks pretty woman'. I think dees always wanted to believe she can shed that feeling she's inferior, but she never has). in my head her female roommate is basically normal-has real friends of her own, mentally stable, attractive-which is exactly what dee craves. dee wants to be popular and well liked and she wants to infiltrate her roommates life, imitate her, be in the Cool group. and she places all her hopes on a friendship with the roommate but dee has never navigated real female friendships before, not with someone like her. deep down she also wishes she found what dennis found in mac, whatever it was, because ever since dennis met mac he's never been as close to her. and i do think dee is some flavor of queer. and the roommate is well liked in the way that dee admires and envies. so there is that blurriness between wanting to be her and wanting to be with her. in my head her roommate looks like the woman from dee's fantasy in 'the gang saves the day' (and they both represent that promise of escape from dee's shitty life).

dee is so desperate for the roommates approval and her love and her life that she goes insane, copying and flattering and competing with her. ever the shitty actress, she tries to emulate her, but comes off as manic and creepy. and maybe her roommate is nice enough to not completely shun her, recognizing that she's struggling. maybe in dees mind they actually are becoming friends when her roommate asks things like "are you okay?"

and dee has to talk about her plan with dennis because he's the only person who would Get It. and she makes it sound like it's almost working. dennis feels jealous and worried and threatened that maybe dee might actually be seen as normal, especially when she gets her back brace off in the third year. so dennis fucks her roommate, more of a show that he owns and controls each and every pathetic part of dee’s life than anything else. and so that dee knows she'll never be as good as him, she'll never as easily charm people as dennis does. (or at least he tells her he does).

to prove that To Someone dee is Good Enough, and so desperate for attention, dee (who's been groomed all this time) enters a sexual relationship with her professor dr. gainer. she tells herself she has the power in it, that she seduced him ("he didn't molest me. i had sex with him 'cause i wanted to.") and she has a mental break, because the thing she told herself held her back from being loved (her back brace) is finally gone by now and yet she still feels like a monster, and the only scrap of "love" she can get is from her professor.

and then she can't take the fact that she can steal her roommates clothes, can emulate her sexual prowess (in dee's own fucked up, delusional way), and still neither be well liked like her nor be loved by her. so maybe dee will always be a monster. so dee tried to burn her roommate in her bed, because she represented the promise of change and popularity, and that promise was a lie and dee's effort was for nothing. and she's institutionalized.

and i think there was kind of a falling out between the twins and their parents, because barbara wants to abandon dee but dennis can't help but visit her. and frank doesn't even step foot in a place that reminds him of his traumatic childhood, and avoids dee even more than he used to because she is his childhood mirror image. so the family becomes even more fractured and estranged.

and maybe dee becomes medicated and slowly crawls her way halfway to normal by the first season (her acting classes are so well-adjusted, taking part in healthy hobbies of her!). until her father comes back into her life and everything falls apart <3

side note, even though dee is crushingly lonely-"I just got a cat 'cause I wanted something to hang out with. I don't have, you know, a roommate or anything, and I don't really have anyone to talk to..."-AND she struggles to pay rent whenever frank cuts her off, i hc that she refused to ever get a roommate in particular female roommate again after this because both her internalized misogyny got worse and she was afraid of what would happen (what she would do) again.

[not-goldy]

Jimin has to be so tired of always trying to hold it down and be the older one who keeps things from getting all out whack. When he's sober & clear headed and in his head space, he will ignore everything Jk says to him that flirts past friendship lol. Jokingly calls his compliment lame. Downplays JK being romantic with snarky replies. Yet you put some alcohol in that man and all that weight is gone. Then we have him laying on the floor spilling his guts and the boyfriend pops right out. "Honey" "baby" "boyfriend pic" "My Jungkook". Okay, tell us more Jimin. He really has so much weight & pressure he carries on his shoulders & probably overthinks so much, including dealing with hate. Wondering how his relationship with JK will affect BTS, his dad's business, everyone but thinking about himself really. This is where JK comes in and is loud for the both of them. So it was so nice to see Jimin just let his guard down, so much so he let us see he was down cause the trips were coming to an end. I started crying too, cause you know when Jimin lets his guard down, its major. Jimin doing this for JK, when he saw that JK needed him and went to him to make it up to him and Letter, is probably two of the boldest things we ever seen him do, besides enlisting with Jk. He really let his guard down and let us see his vulnerability. I feel so honored esp knowing how private Jimin's become.

Awwwww I love this so much

I love you for this Anon. Marry me. I'll cook and clean and pay the bills.

Thank you thank you very much.

That's a perfect description of Jimin or at least how I see him in their dynamic. Just perfect. I got sick and tired of reading these bizarre takes and perspectives of him I couldn't resonate with from solos it turned me off. Waaayyy off. Like shut up I don't even want you to talk to me about Jimin no more just shut the hell up.

But this. Tell me more. It resonates hard my goodness.

He is the Hyung you know and I have a problem with people who try to undermine this aspect of him by constantly making him out to be some weakling and victim of the duo.

And I got tired of having to explain this over and over but dude does carry himself as Jungkook's hyung, HE IS HIS FILTER. THE VOICE OF REASON. THE MATURE ONE OF THE TWO THE ONE THE MEMBERS GO TO OR LOOK UP TO TO KEEP JUNGKOOK IN CHECK.

However it is a double edged sword and a Thorned crown because now he gotta overthink everything he gotta worry about everything

Imagine feeling he had to make sure they both could maintain their relationship without having it ruin the dynamics of the group. He had to make sure he wasn't keeping Kook all to himself always, or letting Kook have him all to himself lest it breads resentment among other members.

Imagine he had to agree with the members out of consideration because he would rather have Kook than not at all.

Imagine him having to forgive their fights, not talk to people about the problems they be having, trying to resolve all conflicts at home before coming on to set. I keep saying this, JIMIN IS THE REASON THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS THRIVED WITHIN THE GROUP THIS LONG AND HE IS THR REASON THE BAND HASNT CRUMPLED BECAUSE OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

Left to some members and the management there would be a no dating among members policy because lime every one readily points out if they are indeed an item then its a huge risk to the band and company. I mean please look at where Suga is now. Now imagine if two members of BTS were actually found out to be queer and dating💀

It's a disservice to victimize Jimin. He is an intelligent resilient powerful negotiator and anyone who tries to put in their heads their relationship won't work or that they will fight and argue woukd be met with a resounding "DOESN'T APPLY TO US"

You making me want to lick Jimin's ass stop Anon stop

[wheneverfeasible]

playing with fire🔥

wc: 5k || rating: T+ || cw: some swearing and suggestive language || summary: While Steve and Robin are discussing how best to get Robin to ask out Nancy, Eddie enters and has a jealous misunderstanding. || also on ao3

-

They’re playing with fire and he knows it.

He’s playing with fire. The chances of being burned are of course high, but he can’t stop himself either way. He wants this, wants him, more than he’s ever wanted anything or anyone. He can only pray that he’s right and Eddie wants him back.

It had started after Eddie’s expedited trial, after hours of working with the group to find the best defense to clear Eddie’s name, after the judge agreed that Eddie wasn’t guilty and he was free to go, after Eddie had cried silent tears of shock and they’d thrown a huge party. After Steve got to see Eddie living life again.

Eddie became a major fixture of their lives and Steve began realizing that he never wanted that to stop. He’d stopped dating because he found he’d rather spend time with Eddie, would always gravitate towards Eddie whenever they hung out with a full group, would always glance over at Eddie when something funny happened or was said because he wanted to see Eddie’s response.

It was when Robin had come to him in tears with the secret that she liked Nancy, feeling horrible for betraying Steve by having a crush on his ex, that Steve realized he didn’t have those feelings for Nancy anymore because he had them for someone else: Eddie Munson.

“I think I like Eddie,” he had blurted out while Robin was mid-rant apologizing profusely and promising she’d never do anything and would always support him and Nancy being together, which had the benefit of effectively shutting her up when his words processed, her mouth gaping as her eyes bugged. It at least gave him a chance to say that she didn’t need to apologize at all because it wasn’t like she could control who she had a crush on, even if Steve had still been in love with Nancy and was trying to win her back, which…he wasn’t. He hadn’t thought about Nancy in that way in a long time.

Speedrunning his sexuality crisis didn’t take long, thankfully. It might have taken longer if he hadn’t been impatient to getting to the part where he could acknowledge his crush on Eddie, of course, and being able to continue liking him from the respectable distance of friendship like had with Nancy and Robin before both those feelings petered out. Except…

Except Eddie continued to flirt with him, and Steve would sometimes flirt back, sometimes making it a game for who could say the most cringe stuff and sometimes making Eddie flush high on his pale cheeks. Eddie would then quickly change the subject, push past everything like it never happened, but it filled Steve up with hope. Especially when the flirting started to get more physical with them all but cuddling together when they watched movies, even when they were amongst friends and not alone, or when Steve would crash at Eddie’s some nights and he’d wake up with his arms full of Eddie, or Eddie pressed along his back.

He had even felt Eddie’s morning wood before, pressing into his lower back where they were curled together, and he discovered that he definitely did not mind that one bit. He hoped to experience it—and more—again frequently.

The only thing Steve didn’t understand was Eddie’s reaction to Nancy.

He always seemed jumpy when she was around, always looked startled when he’d see her while he and Steve were cuddling or flirting. He wished Eddie wouldn’t care about that stuff. Nancy was after all the second person Steve had told after realizing he was bisexual, because yeah they were exes, but they were also friends. And unlike with Robin or Eddie, she hadn’t been around when he realized these things about himself.

Steve kept meaning to tell Eddie that Nancy was fine with queer people, though he kept getting distracted by Eddie being, well, Eddie. He had even told Nancy about his own crush on Eddie, actually. What’s more, there had been something in her expression when he explained what bisexuality was that made Steve think that maybe his little group of young adult friends was actually more fruity than he realized.

Though Eddie had never actually said the words to come out, there had been enough rumors about Eddie in school that Steve hadn’t really been all that surprised when the guy first flirted with him when the world was ending for the umpteenth time, and after Jonathan and Nancy broke up, Jonathan had begun spending a lot of time on the phone with Argyle and sometimes even Dustin’s girlfriend’s older sister, with him even going to meet up with them after graduation. He’d returned with hickeys that were obviously from two different sized mouths and a pep in his step Steve could only be envious of.

Nancy realizing she might like girls was what led them to this moment, however, Robin and Steve with heads bent together as they discussed all the things Steve remembered Nancy liking and the things she didn’t. If his best friend was going to try to pick up his ex, he’d be damned sure that he helped out in whatever way he could.

“What about a bouquet of fresh flowers with one artificial one in the middle? The card could read, ‘I’ll love you until the final petal falls’ or something.”

“God, that’s so cringy, Dingus!” Robin huffed out in laughter, a large and exaggerated eye roll following. “Does Nancy even like that shit?”

“I’m just saying!” Steve protested, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. He thought it was a good idea. But…she had a point. That wasn’t really Nancy’s thing. He could admit that more and more of his suggestions stopped being about Nancy and started being about things he thought Eddie might appreciate. Cringy and embarrassing and over the top and weird. Yeah, maybe he’d take that idea for himself then…

And then, as if summoned by his name whispered in Steve’s thoughts, Eddie walked into Family Video at just that moment, catching sight of their conspiratorial looks as they whispered ferociously to each other. The shop was empty, of course, but they were still careful.

“What are you two whispering about now?” Eddie laughed, sauntering as though carefree, though his eyes continued to dart around whenever he entered a new area, as though looking for something hiding in dark corners, though whether it was monsters or townsfolk who didn’t fully believe in his innocence was always in question.

Probably both, honestly.

Steve moved his eyes from Eddie’s entrance to Robin, knowing that so far she hadn’t come out to anyone else yet, though obviously that would hopefully be changing soon once she’d figured out the best way to ask out Nancy. Steve felt like the keeper of sexualities here suddenly, knowing everyone’s secret but unable to tell anyone else (though he was certain Jonathan and Nancy might be aware of each other’s as well).

Robin hesitated for a moment, her gaze likewise shifting to take in Steve. They exchanged silent words for a moment, his encouraging while hers were begging to be encouraged, and then she was relaxing against the counter with a small sigh of acceptance and shot Eddie a grin next.

“Just thinking about the best way to woo Nancy,” she said with a wiggle of her brows, though Steve could tell that there was still some anxiety in saying it out loud to another person. Even if that other person was Eddie Munson, who would hopefully be more than just a friend soon. Robin had complained about having Eddie as an in-law before, but she’d never been able to fully hide her teasing smile when she’d done so.

Christ. If Robin was actively going to be brave and do this though, was actually going to ask Nancy out, then he needed to be too, right? Eddie was interested, he had to be. What with the rumors and the flirting and the way his fingers lingered just a little bit too long whenever they touched…

Eddie’s expression, however, blanked.

“Oh,” he said tonelessly. He then blinked rapidly, shook himself, and plastered a smile on his face as he moved towards the shelves of VHS’s.

The smile, Steve noticed, did not reach his eyes.

“Well. Good luck with that,” Eddie said, turning his gaze towards Steve for some reason when he said that. “Wayne asked me to pick him up a movie,” he explained, picking up one called Vision Quest before frowning at the cover. “Something about that dude’s face bothers me,” he muttered to himself, putting it back.

“You know, you could sound more enthusiastic,” Robin drawled sarcastically, obviously trying not to pout.

Eddie shot her a pinched look, gaze darting to Steve again before hastily looking away. “Hey, I already said it was some true love shit. Do you need me to hold Steve’s hand during it?” he scoffed. “Might cramp his style.”

Steve exchange a furrowed brow look with Robin. Why would he need to hold Steve’s hand for Robin to ask out Nancy? Not that he was complaining about holding Eddie’s hand. No, quite the opposite in fact. And what was that about true love? He didn’t recall them ever mentioning Nancy and Robin together before.

He shrugged at Robin’s silent question asking what Eddie’s sudden deal was before turning his attention to the metal head and lifting his hand to wiggle his fingers.

“I dunno, Munson. Maybe I do need you to hold my hand,” he teased, though he wanted to frown again when, instead of laughing or smiling or teasing back, Eddie scowled at the next movie he picked up. He hesitated before moving around the counter. “Hey, you okay, Eddie?”

“Fine!” Eddie said hurriedly, and a little aggressively to be quite honest, Steve couldn’t help thinking. Rude. Eddie just huffed though and put the movie back before scanning for something else, eventually picking up something called Hoosiers. Steve had been eyeing that one for himself, actually, since it intrigued his inner Indianian jock, but he’d let Eddie take it for Wayne if he wanted. Maybe he could actually watch it with Wayne.

That was another benefit of his and Eddie’s friendship: Wayne Munson. Though the guy didn’t know all that had gone on, he knew enough to just let the fact that his nephew was suddenly best friends with a Harrington slide. And he liked sports, giving Steve someone to talk to about it finally besides someone still in high school.

Though, sometimes Lucas joined in on it, and the three of them would watch a game together at the trailer while Eddie just shook his head at having three sports lovers in his life suddenly. Steve could tell he was secretly pleased, however, and was always a little nicer to Lucas to make up for being a jerk about it all before everything went down. He even now went to all of the kid’s games, sitting between Steve and Wayne for protection against anyone who thought to start anything.

Eddie had once asked if Steve was sorry he could never take a date to the games anymore, to which Steve had answered that he’d brought Eddie, hadn’t he? And they even had their own personal chaperone with Wayne. Eddie had flushed, hidden behind his hair, but didn’t bring it up again like Steve had expected him to like they did with other reoccurring jokes.

Anyway, back to Eddie’s sudden moodiness, Robin had less far patience for Eddie’s shit than Steve did, seeing as how she wasn’t the one with a raging crush on the guy. She rolled her eyes and picked up a bag of Reese’s Pieces and threw it at Eddie. “Why are you being such a dick right now? Stop being homophobic.”

That got a reaction out of Eddie. He spun around to face Robin, ignoring the bag that hit his shoulder and fell to the floor while spluttering and pink in the face. “How am I being homophobic, Buckley? How is that even possible when I’m—” Eddie cut himself off quickly, shooting Steve what looked like a panicked expression for some reason. “A-anyways, how am I being homophobic right now?”

“I mean, I literally just came out to you and you didn’t even bat an eye. You just ignored it to go huff about…I don’t know, whatever it is you’re huffing about,” she snarked, and Steve could tell she was just barely refraining from rolling her eyes again, and also that she was a little hurt her grand revelation didn’t merit a reaction. He moved over and bent down to pick up the fallen bag before it could be crushed under Eddie’s sneakers as he stomped to the counter, shaking his head a little at their antics, though he glanced at the bag with a small smile too.

Eddie was actually the one that informed him about the history of the candy. How it had been a relatively newer candy, not all that popular compared to the well-known M&M’s, but the latter company had declined being featured in that alien puppet movie a few years back and so the Reese’s brand stepped in instead. After the movie did so well, the candy exploded in popularity, which Steve thought was just simply crazy.

Eddie was full of random facts like that. He never made Steve feel stupid for not knowing them either, which was honestly one of the main reasons Steve had started falling for him as hard as he was. He wondered if that meant he had some kind of praise kink, since he still thought about Eddie’s compliments back during everything and felt his stomach pleasantly squirm at them.

Now, however, Eddie was suddenly leaning over the counter and staring at Robin with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, causing Robin to rear back in startled and confused concern.

“Holy shit, Buckley, you’re a…” He swallowed, tensing as he glanced over his shoulder at Steve, before looking back at Robin with raised brows. “You-know-what?” he hissed.

Robin and Steve exchanged another confused look (Steve could vaguely hear Dustin’s snide voice telling them that their faces would stay that way if they didn’t stop) before she snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “A raging, flaming lesbian? Yes, Munson, I thought that was clear by the fact that I’m trying to score a date with Nancy Wheeler.” This time she didn’t refrain and rolled her eyes again so hard it looked like it hurt.

“Yeah, dude,” Steve snorted as he moved to lean back against the counter beside Eddie, resting one elbow on the countertop as he tore open the bag of candy still in his hand. He offered it to Robin first, who held out her hand and let him pour some out, not taking her hand back until he picked out the yellow ones from her palm. They were his favorite and she always let him have them, just he let her have all the orange ones.

He held the bag out to Eddie next, who still looked gobsmacked for some reason. He shook the bag until Eddie held out his hand automatically. With the same automation Eddie began picking out the yellows and oranges to set them aside in front of Steve and Robin respectively, keeping the brown ones for himself. Robin began picking out the browns from her hand for him as well as Steve divided up the rest of the bag.

“Wait wait wait,” Eddie said after a moment. He turned to look at Steve. “You knew she was…” he trailed off uncertainly.

“Gay? I should hope so since I’m trying to help hook her up with my ex-girlfriend,” he grinned with a chuckle, dropping a few of the yellow pieces in his mouth. He winked at Robin. “You know that means that we’ll have inadvertemph—” Steve started to say before Robin’s free hand was covering his mouth to prevent him from saying something crude about being with the same girl.

“Don’t be repulsive,” Robin shuddered, dropping her hand with a yelp and grimace when she felt Steve lick her palm, grumbling as she wiped it off on her vest while Steve just continued grinning at her.

Eddie watched this like he was watching a tennis match, his brow furrowing in further confusion. “Wait…so…” He thickly swallowed, glancing at Steve with a peculiar expression on his face. Steve hoped it was, well, hope. “You’re not trying to get back with Wheeler?”

“Absolutely not,” Steve said, dropping the rest of the yellow pieces in his mouth and scrunching the bag up to drop behind the counter, chewing the large mass quickly. “That ship has long since sailed.” He was the one that hesitated this time, and even without looking at her, he could hear Robin’s silent communication. He shuffled a little against the counter, turning to properly face Eddie.

Shit. He hadn’t been expecting to do this so soon. The fire he was playing with could very well burn him alive right now if this went poorly. But…

Eddie liked him. He had to, what with the way they’ve been flirting and all but canoodling when they watched movies and things together.

“I, uh…I actually have someone else I’m interested in,” he admitted.

And…oh. Eddie’s face, which had started to look hopeful at the thought that Nancy wasn’t his interest anymore, fell again. And that…Steve knew what that meant. He was good at flirting again, could tell when girls were genuinely into him, and he’d picked up those signs from Eddie plenty of times before. He had been second guessing everything because Eddie was a boy.

But he knew this.

Eddie had thought he was interested in Nancy still and had become as bitchy as Steve could get. He looked hopeful when Steve said he wasn’t into Nancy. Looked dejected when Steve said there was someone else.

He had thought it was true, but…this confirmed it, didn’t it? Eddie showed all the right signs of having a crush on him. Eddie liked him.

Steve’s grin then was blinding. Robin choked a little on her own orange Reese’s Pieces before scooping the last few up from the counter into her hand and muttering about needing to check the back for something. God, he loved her so much.

“You are?” Eddie asked, and Steve could see him drawing back into that bitchy shell he’d been hiding in earlier. God, he was adorable.

“Yeah, I am. He’s really smart, but also kind of dumb. I’ve been flirting for ages and he still somehow hasn’t clocked that I have this massive crush on him apparently. I thought I was being obvious,” he teased.

Eddie was still withdrawing backwards, even physically this time as his body shifted to turn away, that familiar pinch between his eyebrows. Steve suddenly recalled a similar look when Eddie threw his vest at him back in the Upside Down, when he and Nancy had been lightly flirting.

Ohhhhh, Eddie’s down bad for him, Steve couldn’t help but think with an even wider grin. Even before Steve had clocked it all. He could only lament his double-guessing things for so long now. He might have been able to score a boyfriend months ago if he’d recognized and accepted the signs sooner. Oh well. No time like the present.

“Well, I’m sure she’s just shy,” Eddie muttered, eyes glaring down at one of the brown candies on the counter with pursed lips. He placed his thumb down on it and pushed until the hard candy shell cracked and the peanut butter filling inside smeared out. Steve couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed enough to care. He was far too pleased with himself. “Probably doesn’t think someone like King Steve could like her.”

That was another tell-tale sign that Steve had always ignored. Eddie had a habit of referring to him as his old moniker whenever Steve would talk about taking out girls before. It made Steve wonder if this crush Eddie had on him had been going on for a while. Even ever since high school.

Damn, but Steve really was an idiot for missing out on it for so long. Despite what he had thought was reciprocal interest this entire time, known to the both of them, he hadn’t been quite certain Eddie felt the same way. But surely his own interest had been evident? It wasn’t like he hid his sexuality, had been more openly flirting with Eddie, and sometimes even Jonathan for the fun of it, though both he and Jon knew it was just teasing and nothing real.

Though…

“Eddie,” he laughed, shaking his head. Eddie just started smashing another Reese’s Pieces piece causing Steve to roll his eyes. “Eddie,” he said a little more firmly, finally making the pair of brown eyes he thought about a little too much maybe turn to look at him. “I said ‘he,’” he pointed out.

Confusion marred Eddie’s face as he tried to work out what Steve was telling him. It made Steve wonder if he really did give off such great hetero vibes that Eddie’s gaydar hadn’t clocked him yet despite everything. And he thought his gaydar was shit. Jesus fucking Christ.

“‘He’ who?” Eddie finally asked, still looking confused.

“We’re talking about my crush,” Steve reminded Eddie, and sue him if his own tone got a little bitchy, but Eddie was being completely obtuse.

“What, does she have a boyfriend?”

“Oh my god,” Steve huffed out, partly annoyed and partly completely fucking enamored by the idiot before him. But he supposed that meant Eddie was in good company, since Steve was an idiot too for not having clocked how obvious the older boy was with his crush all this time, even before Steve had been aware of his own feelings. Two dumbass peas in a pod.

Shaking his head, Steve reached out and covered Eddie’s hand decimating the candy with his own. “My crush, Eddie. I said he’s really smart but kind of dumb,” he said with slow emphasis on the correct pronouns.

Eddie had stilled under Steve’s hand when he covered Eddie’s, but it took a few moments more of furrowed brows and pursed lips before Steve’s words finally seemed to catch. Eddie stiffened, his muscles going tense, his expression going slack and neutral.

Steve should have expected it, should have known that Eddie still wouldn’t get what Steve was trying to say, but the look of utter devastation that briefly crossed Eddie’s face before he swallowed it down hiding behind his hair by ducking his head, still surprised Steve.

How was Eddie not getting this?

Huffing slightly, Steve slid his hand from Eddie’s to reach out and brush Eddie’s hair back, hooking it behind his ear. “Like I said. Kind of dumb. He never seems to realize when I’m seriously flirting with him. I would have thought it’d be obvious by now. It’s not like I cuddle with Jon when we watch movies together.”

Eddie, this time, finally seemed to be catching on. He sucked in a sharp breath, eyes widening before ever so slowly turning to face Steve. The flush to his cheeks and forehead rapidly spread through his entire face and down into the collar of his shirt. Steve thought he should be congratulated for not pressing Eddie into the counter to find out just how far down that flush went.

“You—” Eddie’s voice squeaked out. He cleared his throat, his eyes darting over Steve’s expression as though looking for the trick, the trap, the joke. Steve made certain his expression didn’t changed, though he wondered how comforting his expression of exasperation could really be.

Steve let his eyes drop purposefully and tellingly to Eddie’s lips, licked his own which caused Eddie to jerk slightly, and then finally looked back up into Eddie’s eyes with a smirk. “Yeah, man. I mean, I even told him I wanted him to hold my hand and nothing.” He winked. “Maybe he wants to hold something else.”

Typically Steve would not be quite so scandalous when flirting with hopeful-conquests, but he also knew that Eddie wasn’t like any girl he had ever flirted with before. Eddie was brash, frequently abrasive, and more than frequently over the top. He was like a bull in a china shop sometimes, honestly. And Steve couldn’t get enough of it.

Or the way Eddie seemed to choke on his own air, a strangled and incredulous laugh leaving his prettily parted lips. Big brown eyes still stared at him disbelievingly, but at least Eddie was turned fully to face him now. Steve reached out again to twirl a finger in Eddie’s hair.

“Y-you’re not…straight?” Eddie wheezed out, and at least it was a full-ish sentence. Progress.

“Bisexual, actually,” he happily announced, leaving Eddie looking even more floored. “Something about having a guy pin you to the wall and then later say some really nice stuff about you tends to make you realize when you maybe kind of want to kiss him,” he added, a little sheepishly this time.

“Mostly the nice stuff,” Steve quietly admitted with a small laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, the pinning to the wall was nice once you get past the fear your jugular is about to get ripped out by a broken bottle, but it’s really the dude making me feel like I might actually be a good person and always being really nice to me when I don’t understand something that really made the crush grow.”

Eddie’s shaking hand reached up to lightly grasp the one still playing with his hair. “You…you really have a crush on…this guy? Like a real one?”

Steve could only grin, taking a small step closer. “Absolutely. He’s kind of adorable, actually. Tries to put up this big bad rockstar vibe, but I happen to have it on good authority that he’s actually a big softie nerd who cried when an animated toaster got crunched up rescuing his friends,” he lightly teased.

“He was so brave,” Eddie pouted, distracted for a moment by the memory, before blinking rapidly, because there was no way to pretend that Steve’s crush could be anyone else now. He drew in a shaky breath, his eyes darting between Steve’s, and then the most beautiful smile Steve had ever seen spread across his lips. Steve felt dizzy at the sight.

Feeling a little more confident now, Eddie leaned in slightly, his eyes dropping to Steve’s lips before looking back up into Steve’s eyes. He still had to clear his throat a little before speaking again, but the wariness was finally absent from his expression.

“I happen to have it on good authority that your crush might just like you back,” he murmured, and Steve was enraptured by the way Eddie’s eyes sparkled up at him.

“Yeah?” he murmured, swaying forward despite the public location. The store was dead, sure, but they could be interrupted at any moment, or seen by pedestrians walking by the shop. “Think he might be up to pinning me to another wall lately?”

Eddie grinned. “I think he’s willing to pin you to anything you want, big b—”

“Oh my god, please shut the fuck up,” Robin’s aggrieved voice broke in, startling the both of them so badly that they jumped apart as though electrocuted.

Of course, after realizing it was just Robin, Steve gave the bitchiest eye roll of his life and rested a hand on his hip. “You’re just jealous because you can’t flirt with Nancy yet,” he said, tone matching his eye roll. “I’ve been telling you to just hurry up and do it, Buck.” He glanced at Eddie and indicated Robin with a look that clearly said ‘can you believe this hopeless lesbian’ which caused Eddie to snort.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Hairy. Like you weren’t whining to me about Eddie just three days ago,” she snarked, causing Eddie to grin and Steve to flush this time. “At least wait until your next break before you shove your tongue down his throat or anywhere else.”

“Robin!” Steve gasped, completely scandalized, pressing his palm to his chest. “I expect at least one date first before I shove my tongue anywhere except Eddie’s mouth.”

Eddie choked, face once more flaming, but Steve could only grin at Robin’s disgusted expression.

“The first part sounds fantastic though,” he acknowledged, reaching down to grab Eddie’s hand in his own. “I think I’ll take my first break now. Be back in fifteen, sweetie!” he laughed, tugging a dazed Eddie towards the front door, knowing Eddie’s van was parked somewhere nearby.

“Don’t forget to use protection later, you whore!” Robin merely called back, and despite all her snark and annoyance, Steve knew she was happy for him. And happy for herself that she didn’t need to hear him mooning after Eddie anymore, though she would probably come to regret what Steve was like now that he and Eddie were together.

It was fine, she’d get her payback once she asked out Nancy later that night too.

As for Steve, he proved himself to be a liar, because that night he definitely put out before their first date. Though, he figured with a teasing smile when Eddie brought that up, they had been on several dates at Lucas’s basketball games, remember? So really, he had plenty of lost time to make up for that night, again and again and again.

They might have been playing with fire, him and Robin, but how else were you expected to keep warm?

-

Fun fact! The bit about Reese’s Pieces is true! They’re also my favorite candy. Also, the movie Vision Quest (titled Crazy for You in the UK and Australia) starred a young Matthew Modine, who played Dr. Martin Brenner in Stranger Things. Hoosiers is about a high school basketball team in Indiana going to the state championships.

-

Hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

Courtesy tag: @katyawriteswhump

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

3 Heart Trio:

theyre soo silly theyre just silly little guys who do things like mining an entire chunk in the center of the server's spawn for their own entertainment and to annoy everyone else

They are PATHETIC. They are ANNOYING. They are PERFECT. They are playing on three hearts and they die so much. They have a specialized raid platform that is NOT a raid farm. They are a team against exploits! Their base has 3 hearts above it representing them

these guys decided to put love and fun above all on the killing-lying server. while watching other teams betray and fall apart they have stuck with each other till the very last day of the server and never doubted one another. they worked like a clockwork, they knew they could only rely on themselves and at the end of the day, they didnt mind that it was that way

these guys got the short end of the stick time and time again throughout all of lifesteal s4, they were the targets of so many traps and attacks for no reason other than they were weak and always around. and despite it all they never wanted revenge and never held grudges! they cared about fun and friendship more than anything else, and while all the other teams ended up falling apart or betraying each other, these three stuck together from start to end. they didn't care about how many hearts they had, how much gear they had, or how powerful they were, because in the end all they needed was each other <3 i miss them so bad btw

Witch Coven:

they are sooooooooo theyre 2 competent people + one not as competent person but if u dont clap and cheer fer her theyll blow you up and kill you

They’re from a surpreme witch competition where the goal is to win against everyone melee, yet they managed to forge a friendship regardless of them being competitors! Scott and Cleo are arguably the most powerful of the witches, and they took Elouise, who was super insecure and self depreciated about her own talents and worth under their wings and bolstered her up to her full potential! With their guidance and support she learned to grow more confident in her own abilities leading to her being right up there with the other two as one of the strongest witches! They also formed as a sassy little friend group who snarks and sasses the other witches, especially their, like, “main rival”. So they also just have that *vibe* of this really bad ass group ala mean girls, but less mean to everyone and more focused on their “rivals” and “enemies”. Cleo could literally freeze time for those around her, Scott essentially got the power of a lich, and el could blind people! They are all super powerful, work really well together and are all around a wonderful group! Also the queerness. We love an LGBTQ+ friend group haha

[lemotmo]

They got an ask about Buck/Eddie being written like Hen/Chimney. Because of course 🙄

A. Good evening anon, my week has been pretty decent, thank you. I hope yours was as well. Buck/Eddie are not written or played remotely similarly to Hen/Chimney. Their dynamics are purposely different. I don't know if you belong to the group of viewers whose knowledge of the show only consists of 6 episodes from season 7, but based on your ask, I'm going to assume that you are. But even if your knowledge is relegated to season 7 exclusively you should still be able to see the difference. Hen and Chimney are your textbook besties for life. They support each other. They cry with and cheer for one another. And sometimes even share one braincell. But they have always been shown to have lives separate from one another and their friendship (that's part of the show history you're deliberately avoiding). I believe Chimney has had one scene with Denny (Hen and Karen's son) throughout the entirety of the show's run. Buck and Christopher's relationship is its own unit within the show. They have episodes and arcs devoted to the two of them (that pesky show history again, sorry). Buck is not written as his sudo uncle. He's not written as his dad's best friend who occasionally babysits. He is a coparent. Eddie and Buck had one episode, Eddie's first episode, and it wasn't even the full episode, where they weren't written as immediately living in the pocket of each other. The show made a point of developing Hen and Chimney outside of their friendship. The show has deliberately chosen not to do that with Buck and Eddie. It's a season after season writing choice. It's why Kenny, Aisha, and Tim can all easily use the word friendship to describe Hen/Chimney. It's also why Oliver, Ryan and Tim cannot use the word friendship to describe Buck and Eddie. It's why in interview after interview they all struggle to describe it. The word friendship does not feel right or remotely strong enough to describe their relationship. And they all know it (again, it's that lousy show history).

It's okay to say you don't want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know what that means for Tommy. That's okay. You're allowed to hate it solely for what it means to that character. We all hate something that is canon. I hate several canon things. I won't tell you all of them, but I will share one that seems minor to a lot of people, but fills me with rage. When the show had Buck tell Eddie that he thinks Natalia 'sees' him I wanted to burn the studio to the ground. Evan Buckley looked Eddie Diaz in the face and actually said out loud that someone he just met is the person who makes him feel seen (even typing the words out made my face hot). Eddie Diaz who knows Evan Buckley better than anyone else in the world had to listen to those words be said about someone else. I hate it. I hate it so much that any time anyone mentions that scene around me all my friends groan because they know I'm about to go on a rant. I don't pretend I hate it for any other reason except it made me upset on Eddie's behalf. That's it. To me it felt wrong, wildly out of place, especially considering Buck had known her all of 5 minutes, and I thought it was stupid. That's it. I don't try to convince everyone that my feelings towards that scene are about some greater morality point. I hate it because I hate it. And that's all that matters. I don't know who told you all that you're not allowed to not want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know they'll put him with Buck. That's the reason you don't want it. Say it. You can. No one will judge you for you saying that. People are judging you because you're pretending it's all this other greater good for television bullshit. It's not. It's not because television needs a straight/queer bestie combo, those are everywhere, including 911, hello Hen and Chimney. It's not because television needs a straight man who's not afraid of his emotions. It's not because putting them in a relationship would ruin one of the best platonic relationships on television. It's none of those things. It's because he would be with Buck. Period. Just own it. It's fine.

The only problem with admitting it means you're also admitting that once his arc with Buck is complete there is no purpose for Tommy. That's why you don't want to admit it. You guys have spent the entire hiatus letting people convince you that he's becoming an integral part of the show. That he's going to have storylines and episodes devoted to him and his past. He's not. Even if they keep him around as a boyfriend for a bit he will still just exist on the fringes of the show. He will never be important as a stand alone character. The show has given zero indication that he is anything more than a plot point. They just haven't. And maybe you all are correct, and Tim has spent the downtime thinking of ways to make him more permanent. But that is very unlikely. Everything we've seen so far, including the decision to release that deleted clip, seems to indicate he has a very particular story purpose, and once they've told that particular part of the story, his services will no longer be required. You can hate it. You have absolutely every right to hate it. It doesn't matter if I, or anyone else, ever understands why you hate it. You can hate it. But it won't make it less true. It will just be part of the canon that you hate. And that's okay.

Okay, I wouldn't know what to add to this to be honest. Every single thing that has been on my mind for some time now is right there, in the answer above. The only difference is that the OP managed to summarise all of it in a few paragraphs. It would probably have taken me hours and pages of text to say what they just said in their answer.

I just want to add on thing. It's true, we all have canon parts of the show that we hate. Mine is the lawsuit arc. I can't watch it anymore. I can't even read fics that deal with the lawsuit. That is how much I hate it. I hated how they made Buck sue the Fire Department and how they made him tell that lawyer all about his friends' private lives. I absolutely detest it, because it made me dislike Buck during that time. And I've always loved Buck, even season 1 Buck. I eventually got over it and forgave Buck around the same time Eddie did. I will always hate that arc, but I also realise that it happened and that it will forever be a part of Buck's character arc.

This will be part of the canon that I hate. And that's okay. It won't make me love the show any less, but it will always be there.

What are the canon parts of the show that you hate(d)?

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

[tw: SA and depression/mental illness] Will Byers's story is so mental illness-coded in addition to obviously being about SA, trauma, and traumatic experiences that are unique to being queer. Thinking back to the final shots of season 1 in which the Byers family is so happy and everything seems fine because Will is back, he's safe, it's all over; but that doesn't mean any of it is even remotely over for Will.

Will's POV in season 2 hits so hard because it reminds me of what it was like to be a young teenager navigating depression and other mental illnesses despite being externally happy and outgoing. Will is glad to be part of his friend group again, despite how traumatized he is, but the boys, by no fault of their own, simply can't relate and can't even begin to fathom what Will has been through, which obviously leaves Will feeling isolated. It's like, he's grateful of course for all of their friendship, but he still feels like he's going through it all on his own. He's thankful for the support and love his friends and loved ones can give him even though it's Not Enough.

And that's what mental illness so often feels like. You may have the overwhelming love and support of loved ones, but your mental illness makes you feel alone anyways, because those who are not experiencing what you're going through just don't have the tools, advice, or firsthand knowledge that is going to allow them to sympathize with you or make you feel better. There's also the secrecy element, as you'll rarely share with even your closest loved ones the full extent of your suffering. And of course, you feel like you're quite literally "going crazy" (wink wink), dealing with this intense suffering that makes you see and believe things that aren't true while everyone else around you seems fine, unbothered, and completely functional.

Even in s3 when Will is supposedly "well" again, he is isolated from the rest of the party, has completely separate priorities from them, and is simply disinterested in the fun, stupid drama they're getting themselves into because he is on a totally separate wavelength, trying to heal from trauma and learn to cope with what he's been through. And once again, his friends simply lack the tools needed to be able to fully be there for him, leaving him once again sidelined, processing things on his own. It totally reminds me of being told things like "I thought things were good now/I thought you were doing better now?" Most mental illnesses cannot "get better" or completely go away, you simply learn how to manage them and they get better sometimes and flare up badly at others. It's an ebb and flow. And Will's trauma and his entire connection to the Upside Down is a daily struggle that he successfully stays on top of some of the time but buckles underneath the weight of at others. And sometimes it's like people around him expect him to be able to "keep up" or function at the same level the rest of them are at, completely ignorant to how debilitating his condition is. He's always alone in a sense because no one else can truly relate to having been stuck in the UD all that time and also literally possessed and taken advantage of by the Mindflayer and Vecna.

And then Will's s4 story is so representative of what mental illness can make you feel and believe about yourself. Despite all of the suffering he's gone through, he doesn't believe he's worthy of the one thing he wants the most, which is Mike's love. He won't even allow himself to be a contender for it, won't even put himself up for consideration because he simply doesn't believe he deserves it. He feels like a mistake, and that's exactly how chronic mental illness makes you feel: that you don't deserve happiness or any of the things you want or care about.

All I know is that it will be SO cathartic to see my gay, traumatized, mentally ill boy actually find happiness and get the love he so badly wants with Mike!! The odds feel so stacked against his him, but Will Byers is going to be happy and beyond loved and taken care of by his man for the rest of his life.

[lurkingshan]

Cooking Crush is the Ultimate Romcom

I have been singing this show's praises and lamenting it being so underrated for weeks, and I am simply never going to stop because it just keeps getting better. This week was episode 10, a spot where many Thai shows stumble as they set up their final arcs, but this show sailed right on through on the strength of its writing and incredible character and relationship development. This show believes that relationships should make us better, and it shows us how each of the pairs do this for each other rather than telling us.

Ten is probably one of the best romance leads we have ever gotten in bl. He is just so kind and genuine, and his commitment to honest communication is what drives the story. He's a great match for Prem, who is more naturally cynical and struggles with self-esteem issues. We see over and over again how Ten's steady support and affection buoys Prem through hard times, how Prem never waivers on his feelings for Ten even when he is feeling low, and that even in tough moments they give each other so much joy. Every time something happens that would set up a major conflict in other shows, it is dismantled by Ten and Prem talking to each other about their feelings and getting on the same page. They make each other happy and they want to be together; it is as simple and natural as that.

Similarly, we are seeing clearly how good Fire and Dy's relationship is for both of them. Fire is basically a whole new man now that he has accepted his sexuality and his feelings for Dynamite, and he is growing in his confidence, even starting to be affectionate with Dy in front of their friends. And now that he's gotten out of his own way, Fire can see Dynamite for who he is and offer him the kind of love and support that has been sorely lacking in his life. Dynamite is a character who seems carefree and confident on the surface, but who is actually hiding a well of pain that is closely tied to rejection because of his sexuality and the way he presents in the world. They see and understand these struggles in each other and they are happier when they're together.

And let's not forget Metha and Samsee, who are not in a romance (yet?? please show I will love you forever) but whose relationship is also about forming a bond through which kindness, affection, and support can flourish. Metha is always here to support Samsee when he's struggling with his friends, and Samsee relies on him even as he maintains some defensive posturing to avoid getting hurt. But I trust Metha not to hurt him. I love the way Metha moves through this story giving people the pushes they need and generally just being an excellent dude.

And this show doesn't only care about romance! This is one of the more serious treatments of queer friend group dynamics we have ever had in the bl genre. The friendships in this show are not here as joke fodder or secondary to the romances; they are treated as just as important to the narrative as the romantic beats. Samsee's hurt over being excluded and the changing dynamics of his friendships was taken seriously, and all the other characters gave him space and grace to work out his feelings. I similarly expect that as the show wraps up, we'll return to Ten's family dynamics and come to some solid resolutions there.

I don't know how else to say it: this show is excellent, the writing is much stronger than anyone expected, and the characters are all-timers. Let some joy into your lives and watch Cooking Crush.

[echoes-of-mia]

okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere

(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)

for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand

and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"

well, oh boy was i wrong

because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.

and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.

so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?

and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!

and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.

so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)

and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.

(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)

I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.

and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful

joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.

I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3

feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^

[bakawitch]

This is an au that I dearly love, but I have no idea what to do with, it's been in my head for years and I never know what the best way to approach it would be XD

Post canon, some random shenanigans happen that land Yugi and co in the shadow realm/darkness. They try to find a way out, but they eventually end up in Zorc's domain somehow (a big dark edgey edgelord castle). They go in, hype themselves up for the confrontation only to be greeted by an annoyed and royaly pissed off TKB, who's mad that they've been messing up his realm.

It turns out that after Zorc's demise, the gods thrust the least wanted job in the world on him and made Bakura take Zorc's place as punishment for his crimes. He ends up kicking them out of his realm, but not before telling Ryou that he's owed like a hundred wishes and to summon him whenever he needs something.

Unsure about the main plot of this au, but now the group has the reluctant support of an overworked and irritable god who only listens to the occult obsessed weirdo in the group who's goals and views don't always align with the friendship gang's.

And gemshipping, obviously, this is me we're talking about XD

And probably queer platonic caste/kingshipping?

And Yami Malik also probably has a job in the shadow realm, I feel like he has the potential to thrive there lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

oh my GOD the weirdest thing just happened to me and I NEED ur advice.

So basically, I have this friendship group of like eleven annoying idiots (love ‘em all), and me.

Two of them and me r in the marauders fandom. We’re all 16 btw, just finished GCSEs!!!!!!!!! This is THE summer!!!!!

Anyways, we have ONE couple in our friendship group (that gives rosekiller vibes ngl) and a few others are dating people but not from inside the group (not much group-cest).

So like yesterday, we were all hanging out at one of our houses and I turn to my best mate in the group (who’s also a marauder girlie) and say “isn’t it so weird that our friendship group doesn’t have a wolfstar ship.” cause like ngl, we do give marauder era friendship vibes.

AND EVERYONES GOES SILENT???????? Like people were halfway thru words and they SHUT up. They always ignore us when we talk abt the marauders.  

So I turn to everyone and go “what’s with the silence, half of u don’t even know what wolfstar is.”

And one of them goes “we might not know shit about harry potter but someone’s definitely mentioned wolfstar a few times”. 

AND SHE LOOKS AT ONE OF OUR FRIENDS.

I assume I shouldn’t use her real name her so imma just call her Clara (she loves TS Clara Bow song so-).

Clara blushes REAL red and looks down and whispers for the person who said that to shut up.

So I say “Hang on, I thought we weren’t allowed to blab abt the marauders after *my best mate* and *another person in the group* argued over who hated JKR the most? For three hours.”

And the girl from before who apparently knows what wolfstar is says “Yeah- except when we’re watching wolfstar happen, of course we have to know what it is.”

HUH,

So I furrow my eyes brows at her and she goes “you know” which I DONT.

And then my best mate rolls her eyes and says “we do have a wolfstar in this friendship group dumbass.” 

LIKE WHO OKAY? 

Anyway, we sorta moved on. And when I tried to hound my best mate later that night she wouldn’t tell me shit. She just kept saying “no. you know all the ships in our friendship group. we aren’t keeping the wolfstar one from you.”

ANYWAY I went home and THEN it occurred to me that… ME. I could be in the wolfstar ship our friends were talking abt. Otherwise I would KNOW, since I always know.

And there’s only one person they all ship me with in our group, Clara. 

SO I TEXT MY BEST MATE LIKE, WAHT RHE FUCK GIRL YOUVE BEEN SHIPING ME WITH SOMEONE SECRETLY

and she says, she hasn’t been shipping us secretly she’s been shipping us to my face

and so I say, that it wasn’t serious until she compared me to my FAV marauders couple

and so she says, WELL IM GLAD U NOW FEEL ITS SERIOUS 

and so I say, how dare u compare me to remus, I love him but he’s def not me. 

and she says, IM NOT BITCH YOURE SIRIUS

so I say, SIRIUS? 

and she says, SIRIUS!

And I say, girl how? 

And she says, how about the fact that ur family are psychos and u really need to move out. How abt because ur an idiot who can’t see what’s right in front of her? How about your a demi bi queer chaotic mess who can’t recognise what could be the love of your life if she literally kissed you on the cheek which she FUCKING DID

so I say, … that was platonic? 

And she says, I hate you (jk I love u) but no rlly I hate u so much. WHAT RHE FUCK DUDE. 

So I say, wait, u don’t think she has a crush on me do u? 

and she says, I FUCKING HATE U HOW R U THIS DUMB.

(this is all taking place over text in case I hadn’t made that clear).

So i say, JUST CAUSE SHES GAY DOESNT MEAN SHE FANCIES ME.

And she says, NO BUT KISSING UR CHEEK AND ASKING U OUT ON SINGLE DATES AND BEINF SAD WHEN U GET A BF AND SPENDING ALL HER TIME WITH TOU DOES MEAN SHE FANCIES U DUMBASS.

So I say, has she told you? 

And she says, u know I can’t say either way.

So I say, so no. She doesn’t. 

AND RHEN I STOP REPLYING.

But now I think she might. 

Which is awkward. Look i’m not like- straight or anything, but I never get crushes, who has the time to care honestly. 

And I don’t wanna be like, oh my friend who’s a lesbian ObViOuSlY has a crush on ME. I’m not like, Erin in Derry Girls. UGH. 

But in hindsight, she HAS seemed bothered whenever I talk about boyfriends (which isn’t that often cause again, who has the fucking time). 

And she did NOT like my ex. Which was only sort of fair personality wise.

And like yes, technically, we have hung out solo and then she kissed my cheek. But like, we’re just really good friends.

ALSO how dare my best mate compare me to Sirius. Sure my parents are evil but they’re NOT RICH. I mean if you’re gonna be horrific at least be rich right? 

And here’s the thing, if I bring it up and Clara does like me- WHAT DO I SAY

and if I bring it up and she doesn’t, i’m that bitch who assumes she does cause she’s gay.

AND if I don’t and she does like me, am I just being ignorant so it’s easier for me. 

Or if i don’t and she doesn’t like me, will I think there’s some weird air here and she won’t even know what’s going on. 

I HATE being in the unknown.

And like I had known our friends shipped us but they’ve done it for like… three years maybe? Not religiously but as a jk. 

So by this point it’s just background noise. but now they’ve compared us to WOLFSTAR (and know what wolfstar is it seems) now I’m like thinking about this.

MAYBE THATS THEIR PLAN. Maybe it’s just a trick to mess with us more. 

But now I can’t help worrying that when we hang out it’s supposed to be a date. Or that time she kissed me was supposed to be a date and I DIDNT REALISE and just rudely ignored her. 

WHAT IF IVE BEEN A BITCH THIS WHOLE TIME? 

Also like yes, she was there for the wolfstar comparison, but idk if SHE knows it was US being compared to them.

Clara doesn’t LOVE the marauders fandom, but she’s lovely and always lets me ramble about it (like I let her ramble abt her books). And so she knows a lot of lore, specifically about Wolfstar. 

So idk if she knew it was abt us, or if she’s just like realising now.

Also, and here’s the weird part, I care. 

I never give a shit usually, about whoever has a crush on me or whatever. I just do what I want and deal with other people later. But now it’s my friend, my really lovely and funny and sweet and beautiful and kind friend and I don’t want to hurt her.

BUT MAYBE I WONT. Cause maybe she doesn’t even like me so it’s nothing to worry abt. 

WHO KNOWS ANYMORE.

Anyway, that’s the story. Got any advice for me Cas? ALSO congrats on your new school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy.

First of all- babe, it sounds like you're the last to know about all this. But I'm glad you're aware now. Welcome to the party!

Also- "my really lovely and funny and sweet and beautiful and kind friend" uhm. do you wanna say that again? And tell me there's no feelings there?

I mean, I'm not gonna tell you how you feel but it sounds like you need to stop overthinking and just spend some time with Clara. Because it could be that you're overlooking something great, here. Stop getting in your head and just feel for a bit. Wolfstar is a superior ship for a reason :D

Naming you wolfstar anon

[mimimunson]

Drunken fingertips<3

CW- tickling, mention of the police, mention of marijuana, mention of homophobia and bullying but is quite brief, intoxication.

Note- this is my first fic that I have ever written and the first fic I’ve felt semi-confident to post. Please be kind. This is first and foremost a tickle fic so if that isn’t your thing please scroll!! Minors DNI! This is not a tickle kink fic, but kinksters can interact!

Eddie Munson was by no means shy. As long as he could remember he’d always had a theatrical personality, he’d always felt like if he didn’t make someone laugh during the day, the day was wasted. He’d always found beauty in smiles and laughter, he found it endearing that no two laughs were the same. In fact, it’s kinda how he found out he liked boys. Coming out was a difficult experience, but Wayne told him what or who he did in his own bed was his own business. Eddie didn’t need aggressive acceptance, but the casual reminder that he was allowed to be queer. I mean he’d never admit that he flunked most of his classes because he was staring at admiring the guy across from him, he had a metal head persona to attend to but silliness was definitely his strong point.

With the up-bringing he had, it’s no shock that he was touch starved. That all changed when he met his new group of friends, they were all social rejects the same as him. All except Steve Harrington. He was the jock, the king of Hawkins-High. He wasn’t quite like the rest of the popular kids though. While they were calling kids slurs and laughing through the bullying they permitted, he’d stand there with a flushed face, stone cold silent. Steve wasn’t a stranger to Eddie before that, he was the guy he sat next to in his third period biology class on a Tuesday, the one he’d casually admire whilst pretending to take notes.

Steve was a different person then, now he would never stand by and let his so called friends verbally abuse others. Maybe it was his friendship with Robin that had opened his eyes to his own by-standing homophobia. But it was probably because he sat next to Eddie on the couch every Friday movie night in Wheeler’s basement. Steve wholeheartedly believed that sitting next to Eddie weekly was enough to make any man question their sexuality.

Eddie didn’t know how he got here, his knees grazing against Steve’s with his arm resting on the arm of the couch behind him. Both lightly buzzed on beer, whispering away to each other while the rest of the party were fixated on the next movie in their Star-Wars binge. He’d noticed more about Steve in the last 20 minutes than he did that whole year of biology class, his hair had a few strands of blonde mixed in with the brunette locks and when he smiled he had a dimple on the right side of his mouth.

“You have a dimple”

Eddie half-whispered and smirked, attempting to point at Steve’s cheek but narrowly missing from his intoxication. He playfully shrugged it off as if he meant to do that of course he did.

“Okay? So lots of people have dimples Munson.”

Steve shrugged and half smiled in Eddie’s direction.

“No no, you, King Steve have one singular dimple, not plural dimples. One. Only on this side”

Eddie spoke holding up his index finger, pointing as Steve’s face. Steve rolled his eyes and chuckled, nobody, not even he had noticed his singular dimple before.

“I get it now, shh I’m trying to watch the movie.”

He lied through his teeth, mocking Eddie’s performative hand gestures. He could tell Eddie was a little more tipsy than he was, the main clue being the 4 extra empty beer bottles beside him. Eddie giggled, brushing his curls out of his face.

“One Steve. One. Where’s your other dimple? Someone steal it?”

Steve rolled his eyes once more at his drunken friend. “Maybe” he shrugged, “have you got it Eds?”

He smiled, leaning his body weight a little closer towards him.

Eddie’s flushed a little at his words, “Eds”. Steve was the only person who called him that, he was like that scene in the grinch where his heart grows 4 sizes bigger whenever Steve called him that. It felt intimate, a moment that only they could share.

“Listen man, I am not a thief” he held his hands up at the accusation, his smile beaming over at him.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to search you, it’s official police business.”

He joked, patting down Eddie’s denim jacket. Giggling when he felt the outline of his grinder and lighter from inside his pockets.

“Drug paraphernalia.. I’m pretty sure that’s a crime. I’ve not been on the job long but I don’t know Munson, it’s not looking good for you.”

He laughed, pretending to check an imaginary watch on his wrist as if a watch could tell him how long he’d been working a profession for.

“Cuff me officer Harrington, for the crime of being a stoner.” Eddie barely spluttered that sentence out before erupting into laughter.

“Oh you think breaking the law is funny Munson?”

He said shifting himself closer to the drunken boy. Grabbing both wrists in one hand, pinning him to the couch, lightly running his fingers across his arms.

“This is funny?!”

Steve continued his ‘pat down’ if you can call it that, he was poking Eddie’s stomach with emphasis to his words.

“I did not know you were such a criminal. You’re on the wrong tracks man, it’s not too late to change your ways”

Eddie could feel his face burning. Steve was not only touching him, man he’d have to remember that for a later daydream, but he was tickling him.

“Fuck Steve come on don’t do that”

Half trying to slap at his hands but missing them in his inebriated state and half trying to hide the ever growing blush on his face. Drowning in a sea of laughter.

“What’s the matter Eds? This is formal policy, I have to do this.”

Steve caught on pretty quickly that he wasn’t laughing at his pretty wooden acting and more so that his pat was something of a ticklish situation for his friend.

“I- shut up.”

Eddie could hardly contain himself, apparently trying to juggle the need to grab Steve’s face and pull him in for a passionate make out session, hiding his blushing face and trying to pretend like he isn’t being tickled shitless was hard for him.

“Munson, you’re really fucking ticklish you know? If you ever actually get caught for possession you are so screwed.”

Harrington proclaimed laughing alongside his friend, holding him down with one hand so he doesn’t squirm his way off the couch.

“I am so gonna kill you.”

He spluttered out in between gasping for breath. Steve’s hands slowed until they halted, towering over Eddie admiring how his curls were like little spirals framing his face, he even found himself doting on the way he looked up at him. His iris’s were camouflaged into his pupils, his eyes were such a deep shade of brown, but when the light hit them just right they looked almost amber. They always complimented his smile, he definitely smiled through his eyes.

“You’ve still got the same smile, it hasn’t changed since we were assigned seats together.”

Steve whispered, his bisexuality was still hush-hush. He’d only confided in Robin before this moment, he found it difficult sure, but hiding anything from Robin was more of a challenge. She’d sussed out his crush on Eddie from the first moment Dustin introduced them. The way he couldn’t help but look at the floor because holding eye contact was painful, the way he’d look like a sick puppy every time Eddie wasn’t able to join in a trip with the party. But mostly the way that Steve had drunkenly confessed that his bi-awakening was Eddie Munson between spitting vomit into the toilet and sharing confessions with each other.

“You remember me?”

Eddie had his hand over his eyes, slightly peaking between the gap through his middle and ring finger. As if missing this moment was not an option, even if the crimson blush burning into his cheeks wasn’t fighting its corner.

“How could I forget the guy who would stroll into class 45 minutes late, smelling of weed, tripping over thin air and flopping himself down beside me not saying a single word but doodling for the remainder of the lesson? I remember most of it, including the times I could feel your eyes burning into the side of my face like a laser.”

Eddie was mortified at this point. He truly thought he had stealth like skills for daydreaming next to pretty boys but regardless, he wasn’t ashamed. He’d do it all again.

“Oh. You saw that huh? I- I just. I just-“

Before the metal head could even finish his sentence, Steve put his finger up to his own lips.

“No need to explain, I get it.”

He nodded, he never wanted to make him feel embarrassed about who he was.

“It’s rough, teen years I mean. For guys like us especially.”

“Guys like us?” Eddie shot him a bewildered look. He couldn’t possibly mean he was- did he?

“You know. Guys like us. Guys who like guys. I mean I’m a guy who likes guys and girls”

Steve is fumbling all his words right now, nervously trying to explain himself was harder than he imagined.

“Listen don’t tell anyone I told you that though man, only Rob knows. Maybe I’m just a bit drunk but, you look so pretty like this. Peach coloured cheeks and that smile. Damn. See this is what I said to Robin, Eddie Munson just- well just looking at him opened my eyes to who I am.”

Steve interrupted himself, realising he’d said that all out loud. After a few seconds of consideration in his head, he was too drunk to care.

“You looking at me with those doe eyes in biology, it made me realise yeah so I’m like definitely bisexual.”

He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, looking down at Eddie who had practically shrunk so far down into the couch that he looked like a part of it. But he was still smiling, still looking at him in the same way.

He lifted himself, sitting upright with his back against the cushions. Grabbing two bottles, ripping the caps off with his teeth.

“Interesting.” Munson divulged, not even noticing that the entire party was staring at them both with their jaws to the floor.

“You owe me 20 dollars!! I told you!!”

Henderson rose up, laughing and pointing at Mike. He always did like to be proved right. The party later found out that Dustin was certain his ‘gay-dar’ was spot on but Wheeler told him it was just broken, it was smashed right into the ground.

“I TOLD you guys, but hey, what do I know?”

Cherry-faced, Steve and Eddie looked at each other, and back at the party, and in perfect unison took several big swigs of their beers.