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ayabeanworks · 10 months

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Title: No Repeats

Synopsis: Suguru & Satoru are sent to an alternate timeline around 10 years into the future, where their older counterparts tell them the story of you, on the anniversary of your death.

Character: SaShiSu x reader

Series: Let's Meet in the Spring (SaShiSu x reader)

Notes: Mentions of death & suicide, some angst, some fluff, some pining, bittersweet. Alternate timelines AU. AU where Geto doesn't defect.

Somewhat of a sequel to this AU.

"Suguru, we're in Tokyo, right?" Satoru questioned, tilting his head slightly as he peered his surroundings. He thought he was tripping, but he really had to blurt it out since things were different. It sounded like a stupid question, but it really wasn't.

A brief pause from Suguru confirmed Satoru's own thoughts - it was strange, it was Tokyo, yet it wasn't the Tokyo they knew.

"Everything seems newer, there are more people, and it seems...more developed?" Satoru paused for a moment, feeling remnants of his own cursed energy loitering around. "It's my own cursed energy but I don't remember doing anything down here."

Suguru had his own thoughts about this, and it was quite similar to Satoru's. It was strange - what had happened? They were on a mission together and somehow they ended up in Shibuya?

Was this an illusion by a curse?

No, this is too real to be an illusion, Satoru locked eyes with Suguru, who held the same thoughts.

"I can't feel the curse we were fighting before," Suguru took another look around, just seeing the people pass them by.

With a frown, Satoru shrugged and started walking towards Jujutsu High, "Let's just go see the school. If anything's changed, that place would have too."

Suguru placed his hands in his pockets as he followed Satoru, wondering why everything still felt out of place even though he knew it to be the Shibuya he often frequented.

Something was odd, and he didn't like it.

When the teens arrived at the steps inside Tengen's barrier leading to the school, they were stopped by 2 taller individuals, both of whom they recognised with their cursed energy.

After all, they had the very same cursed energy in their own bodies.

"Suguru, is this what I looked like back in high school?" A taller man with a bed of white hair and a black blindfold pointed at Satoru, eyes switching between teen Suguru and older Suguru. Their younger counterparts had expressions of surprise, not even sure such a phenomena could happen. In what type of world would they be able to talk and converse with themselves but at different ages?

"Satoru," Geto sighed, "Pointing is rude."

"Hey, we can hear you, you know!" Satoru made a face, an irritated expression at the older version of himself.

He knew it immediately before he could even see the two who stood in front of them - they were him and Suguru, but older than they were now, possibly by 10 years?

But why were there 2 of each of them? Did he and Suguru skip timelines or something?

Because there can't be 2 six eyes users in the world at the same time, and Satoru was sure his eyes weren't working as they should have. The reason being, he could only feel the cursed energy of the older two, he couldn't see it like he normally could. It was even harder to see out of the pitch black glasses he normally wore, so he just placed them on his head since his eyes weren't working as they should.

Gojo laughed, grinning at the two youngsters in front of him. It really did remind him of his youth, and everything that happened 7-9 years ago.

They weren't exactly 100% pleasant memories, but they were precious to him in many ways.

"How's Shoko?" He placed a hand on his hip, probing him for information. If the teen him and Geto were here right now, most likely it was the doing of a curse. But he wanted to know around what time it was from their original timeline that they came here.

Geto gave Gojo a look, but knew exactly what he was doing nonetheless, chipping in himself, "And [name], how are they?"

Satoru and Suguru exchanged glances, raising a brow each. They knew they could trust their future selves so they were pliant with giving any information.

"Shoko is fine, she's in the morgue taking care of [name]. [Name] recently exhausted their cursed energy." said Satoru, lightly sighing, remembering the last time they were there to see them.

"[Name] exhausting their cursed energy?" Gojo turned to Geto, "Isn't this when they were on a mission with you?"

Geto only smiled, but it wasn't an incredibly happy smile, it was a strained one from remembering that time. "Yeah...[name] will be fine, don't worry." He turned to his younger self, "Make sure you tell them you're happy to see them healthy and happy."

Suguru's eyes widened at his older version's words, wondering what type of message he wanted to deliver. He sounded sad, like they were words he himself wanted to convey to [name]. But why?

"Why don't you just tell them that now?" Suguru, being as sharp as he was, questioned directly. He had an inkling of a feeling there was bad news to be said.

Geto exhaled, shaking his head. He met Gojo's eyes, silently wondering if he should tell them. Gojo nodded in silent agreement. Even if they were from another timeline, he didn't wish for them to experience what they did. It would be wrong to put them through such a time when they themselves knew the pain they'd gone through.

"Why aren't you answering?" Satoru pressed, leaning forward and taking another step up on the stairs.

"Today is the anniversary of their death."

"What the fuck happened for them to die?"

Gojo and Geto watched their younger selves as they stared at the grave in which [name] was in. It was a makeshift one on the outskirts of Jujutsu High, away from the prying eyes of others. There was a stick in the middle of a mound to indicate it was a grave.

"It's an empty grave." Geto took a step forward to lay down some flowers. "Their body went missing after their death, then some stuff happened and an imposter took over their body and became a curse user with their abilities."

"What the fuck?" Satoru couldn't believe their words. More like, he didn't want to believe their words. There was no way you would die, you were healthy, happy and doing what you did best back in their original timeline!

But here we have someone - their older versions, to be exact - saying the opposite. If it was true, what conspired to make that happen? Isn't that just speculation?

"How and why did [name] die?" Suguru grabbed Satoru on the shoulder to tell him to calm down, but he also wanted answers on whatever the hell was going on. If what they were saying was true, then something similar was going to happen if they didn't get to the root cause.

Geto studied Suguru's face. Seeing the young version of him was entertaining to say the least; the emotions, feelings and turbulent thoughts under those calm eyes and facade made him want to reminiscent the past.

"They killed an elder and became a curse user," He started. He could see Suguru's expression break for a moment, but he prompted his older self to continue, "They killed several elders, all pre-planned and on separate occasions, before they went on to massacre more of them during an important meeting here. They managed to do so or fatally injured them, before committing suicide."

Hearing the details from Geto, Gojo could only press his lips together and push his hands into his pockets, remembering the feel of your body dying in his arms. The warmth from your body disappearing at an alarming rate, the scent of your blood, your touch on his skin, your tears and even the last smile you gave them. All those sensations and feelings were seared into his brain whether or not he wanted them to, and on occasion it would give him nightmares. It left a deep ache in his heart, but he would cover it with laughter, frivolity and work.

However, Gojo didn't want to forget anything about you - so he experienced everything his mind and body conjured up, and went with it.

Geto gave their younger versions the super short version of what happened, but he wanted to gauge the reactions of their younger versions before continuining.

Satoru and Suguru's mouths were dry, as if they were parched. It was unbelievable what their older versions had said, and it was even more unbelievable since it was you. Yes, you had trouble with the elders, but they didn't think you were the type of person to do something drastic. There was a root cause to this!

"You're not telling the full story." This time, it was Satoru who spoke up. For this kind of information drop, he was normally more hot headed and reacted like so, but since all of it was hyperthetical and might possibly not happen, he wanted to get to the bottom of it and had questions.

Even if it was hyperthetical.

To Satoru, he knew you, and he knew you to be someone who didn't and wouldn't do such a thing. But if someone else was telling him, much less his older version, that it was something that could happen, that set off alarm bells in his head.

Gojo let his lips curl up into a small smile. He was well aware of how he himself thought, and hearing his younger self want to know more, was a step forward in the direction he would rather they be in.

It was still him, after all.

Geto smiled, but there was no happiness or positive emotion behind it. It was merely affirming Satoru's suspicions.

"I'm not." Geto turned to your grave, "[name] made the first move. The elder they're butting heads with now, [name] will eventually kill him. They got sick of him and his corrupted ways, and didn't want it to happen to other sorcerers. [name] was at their breaking point."

"After they killed the elder, [name] went into hiding. We saw them before that, and the next time we saw [name], they were dying in our arms." Gojo's voice was uncharacteristically soft.

Reminiscing about an old friend now scorned by the world wasn't a good feeling, precisely because he knew how good of a person [name] was inside, just that they made the wrong choices. Or more precisely, the most unlawful choice by society's standards.

To be honest, Gojo did not care whether it was unlawful or not, he was just devastated to have lost you.

Even if your opinions were different, it was still something that could have been talked about and communicated through with them. After all, all of your goals were the same: reformation of the Jujutsu society. But could a different opinion really be called wrong when it follows one's convictions for a revamped reality?

"Did you have to fight [name]?" The question was at the tip of Suguru's tongue since Geto mentioned it. How could [name] die in their arms unless they were close enough? They took their own life after all.

And the [name] they knew now, was only going to begin to understand how their cursed energy worked, after getting it unblocked through a dangerous mission.

"We did," Geto shook his head even though his words confirmed his question. "But [name] didn't want to fight us. So when we caught up with them after the massacre, they tried to not engage with us in battle."

"[name] was strong. But they couldn't - no, wouldn't - fight us. It might have been because we were the strongest and it would be difficult to win, but I'd like to think it was because we shared a strong bond."

Gojo wondered if his younger self would cry if he saw the letter [name] had left for him before they decided to become a curse user. Would he cry his eyes out? Or would he rip it up and decide it was bullshit?

After all, Gojo knew when he was a teenager, [name] was more precious to him than he realised, and he would be in denial about their little soft spot for them. It was probably the same as it was now for the teen in front of him. The only difference being that the younger Gojo had you alive in their timeline, whereas for his own, you were a distant memory.

"And that's why they killed themselves?" Suguru breathed out, his voice almost in a whisper. He was trying to solve the complex problem that was you - it was the last thing he would think of you doing, and he wondered if there were already telltale signs in your behaviour back home.

Geto hummed in confirmation. "[name]'s body went missing during the cremation process, and wasn't found until years later. But by that time, an imposter had taken over their body, and they were treated as more of a cursed user than before."

Gojo's hands clenched in his pockets, remembering the anger he felt when he realised it was an imposter in [name]'s body. He was absolutely furious someone or something had the audacity to do such a thing to you.

How dare they use your body, your voice, your expressions, your memories to try and trick them? That was not the [name] he knew, and God forbid him from destroying the entity using your identity.

"This time, they died by our hands, and their body was retrieved and cremated." Geto spoke those words sadly, his own body remembering your second death; but since it wasn't you, it was more of laying you to rest, to finally be at peace.

He could not mention that it was an uphill battle because they just couldn't find it in themselves to kill you since it was still your body. To have you die in their arms again and experience your second death was too much. They didn't want to have to experience killing you, because they understood how you didn't want them to kill you and that's the reason why you did it yourself. But the pain of having experienced you killing yourself and then also having to kill you whether an imposter was in your body or not, was enough to have them waking up in a cold sweat at night.

Satoru and Suguru could feel their older selves and how much they cherished you. It could be said they themselves also felt that, but it was different, since the two older versions of them had experienced much more and they knew the depth of their feelings towards their dead best friend.

Suguru let out an exhale, his mind going crazy at the information given to him. It might be a figment of their imagination from a curse, but there may be some truth to it.

"You don't believe me?" Geto could only laugh lightly at the expressions on their younger selves. He knew it sounded impossible, but for him, it was the truth. For them, it may seem like a distant future, or even a sad, made up story.

"Why don't we show them the letter they left for us and Shoko?" Gojo gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Letter?" The two younger males echoed.

"The ones [name] left before they became a cursed user." Geto and Gojo had a mutual agreement,and set off to find the letters, with their younger versions in tow.

Once they got the letters, Gojo and Geto left them in the teacher's staffroom and stood outside, giving them some privacy. They'd need it.

It was a couple of minutes later that they came back in, only to be met with the expected expressions from the teens.

"So? How was it?" Gojo cooed teasingly, plucking the letter out of Satoru's hands. The expression on his younger self was something he saw rarely, and only in events which affected him on a more personal level. Even now, he was like that.

Satoru lips were pressed into a thin line, his teeth clenching together to try and prevent any form of tears. Gojo could see, his eyes were glossy behind the blackout sunglasses he wore, which were coincidentally covering his eyes instead of sitting on top of his head.

I knew it, thought Gojo. If he was so emotional as an adult after reading the letter (even though he hid it), there was no way his younger self wouldn't be.

If he had to guess, his younger self would be rethinking everything that happened, and trying to figure out whatever the hell was going on to cause what happened in the current timeline following the older versions.

Gojo glanced at Suguru, who had placed his elbows on his thighs, leaning forward to cover his eyes with his hand. Geto didn't make any effort to take the letter away, knowing full well how his younger self would feel.

Since Suguru was in denial with his budding feelings, it was going to make him rethink many things, and it would be painful. Geto himself had already come to terms with it, but at the same time he held a hope, no matter how small it may be, on meeting you again no matter where, to convey the words he's always wanted to say.

"It's [name]'s handwriting, right? If you think it's a joke, it really isn't." Gojo spoke in a lighthearted tone, trying to make the atmosphere lighter, but to no avail. It was still heavy, and their younger versions sat on their chairs, silent as they digested the information.

His eyes took a look at the photo by his rarely used desk, one which had a photo of the four of them - Gojo, Geto, Shoko and you. It was the same one as the one in the safe, and he had copies made of it to make sure he wouldn't forget you, ever.

He ignored the sting in his heart every single time he looked at the photo until it numbed him. There were many things he wanted to say when he saw you, but he'll cross that bridge once he's on it. There just isn't any plan at all, and he'd much prefer it that way.

A bittersweet smile curled his lips slightly when he turned his attention back to his younger self. He had a slight frown on his lips as he looked at anything but their older versions.

"Suguru, a word of advice. If you have anything you want to say, just say it. Especially to [name]." Geto placed a larger hand on top of his younger self's head, ruffling it slightly in an affectionate manner.

Suguru let out a half cry half hum, not wanting to talk in case his voice betrayed him further. He was glad he wasn't bawling his eyes out now that he's realised his true feeligs.

Gojo, on the other hand, flicked his younger self's forehead, "They say sorcerers don't die without regrets. Spoil them as much as you want. This one next to you, too." He cheekily pointed to Suguru.

Satoru made a funny sound, something between a grunt and a hum of agreement. His eyes were yet again elsewhere, but landed on Suguru to see the state he was in.

Satisfied by his answer, Gojo clapped his hands together, "Now, shall we exterminate that curse that's caused you to come to the future, or an alternate timeline?"

Geto sighed at his best friend's antics, "You mean exorcise, Satoru."

"And that's done!" Gojo had one-handedly just killed off the curse guarding the door back to Satoru and Suguru's original timeline. "After you go through here, you'll be back to your own realities."

"Remember, everything you heard here is just a possibility that can happen. We told you this to make sure you two get a happier ending." Geto placed a hand on each of their younger selve's shoulders, giving them a couple of light taps before pushing them gently towards the door.

"What is this, Doraemon?" Satoru muttered, staring at the door.

Suguru, on the other hand, turned to his older self and Satoru's older self, giving them a slight bow, "Thank you for letting us know."

"You were such a nice boy back then, Suguru!" Gojo gasped in faux shock, giving Suguru a thumbs up.

Geto rolled his eyes at Gojo's poor attempt to ellicit a reaction out of him, ignoring him instead to give his younger self a grin.

Satoru and Suguru left through the door, waving at their older selves, prompted by an excited older Gojo and calmer Geto, as they said goodbye and left the timeline to return to their original one.

"No injuries, no head trauma or anything?" Shoko questioned, checking up on her classmates. She was currently still in the morgue, same place as always, making sure [name] was alright as they came in for a check up after a mission.

Suguru and Satoru had to pinch each other's cheeks to make sure they weren't dreaming, and they really were back in their own timeline.

Satoru was even more sure it was the correct one since his six eyes were working again.

"Don't think so." Satoru responded, leaning over your face as he examined your features. They were calmer now that you'd had some time to heal, and from Shoko's excellent RCT and healing techniques.

"Nothing for me either." Suguru followed. He placed a hand on your forehead gently, feeling your temperature and hoping you weren't running a fever. You didn't look like you were, but he had to make sure.

After hearing those words from his older version in another timeline, his words struck a chord in his heart. Reading the letter solidified that, and it really brought Suguru back to a reality that something horrible could happen in the not-so-distant future.

"Wake up soon, [name]," murmured Suguru, tapping your nose.

He probably wouldn't know what he'd do or what he'd think if he lost you. It was something he didn't have in his mind until the recent timeline-skip, one that made him well aware of what he could've done to help you, and by extension, himself and others he deemed close or best friends.

"They'll be fine." Shoko raised a brow at the new point of affection, "They've gotten through the toughest stages, so they'll wake up soon."

Suguru turned to Satoru, who already had a grin on his face from the news, celebrating it with a cute little dance to express his happiness.

He stopped after a moment, going back to his usual self as he sat down on another table, crossing his legs and leaning back. "Shoko, you probably won't believe us if we told you that we met our older selves when the curse pushed us into an alternate reality or timeline." He leaned on one arm, waiting for her to give a retort at how fake it sounds, but to his surprise, all Shoko did was let out a long hum.

"Really?" She took the lollipop out between her lips and pointed it to both him and Suguru, "So, what were you two doing however many years from now?"

Shoko didn't really care whether or not it was real. It was something done by a curse, so there's no telling whether it was fake or if it was indeed real. But from Satoru's tone and Suguru's expression that followed, it didn't seem like it was fake. And, she knew the boys wouldn't lie about something that serious. If they did, their demeanour would've already been broken.

Either that, or they believed it since it was so real even though it was fake. Shoko didn't quite know which one it was, so she entertained the idea.

"We were teachers here." Gojo and Geto spoke simultaneously, "And you were a doctor here, too. But we didn't see you, they just spoke about you."

"Oh?" It was no surprise, since that was what she aimed to go for after she finished high school. "By 'they', you mean your teacher versions?"

"Yeah."

"So, what about your older versions did you want to tell me?"

The two males exchanged glances at each other, then looked at [name], then Shoko.

The hesitant looks they gave each other made Shoko wonder what happened over in the alternate timeline they've jumped to (provided it was true) and why they were like this.

"Spit it out."

"[name] was dead in that timeline." Satoru's fist clenched until his knuckles were white. He could remember his own older version's face, Suguru and his older version's as well, and his own from the information given in the alternate timeline.

He didn't like it one bit.

"[name]? Dead?" Shoko's spoke with mild surprise, not really believing his words. She still entertained him, though.

"Yeah. We thought it was fake too, Shoko, but they gave us all the evidence needed, and what happened in that world." Suguru spoke this time, his voice gentle and soft.

This time it was up to Shoko to narrow her eyes, suspicious. "Ok, so tell me what happened and why [name] is dead in that timeline."

It was a while until Suguru and Satoru filled her in on the details. They gave her longer answers than usual since they needed to set the scene, as well as tell them more about the context surrounding a world in the future.

"What the fuck." Shoko couldn't hold her shock at the turn of events. She didn't think you had it in you to do all that, especially if it was a possibility going into the future.

"I know right." Satoru sighed, laying on his back. "And whatever they've said about this time, we already know."

"It could be a curse messing with our memories." Geto pointed out an obvious possible fault in everything they've said, but Gojo shook his head.

"If it was fake, then why did my six eyes not work? The other me had his working just fine." Satoru mumbled, a bit annoyed yet slightly intrigued that his own powerful technique got overwritten in another world, much less by the same person as himself albeit older.

"You make a good point..." Shoko hummed, crossing her legs. "So then, if this was all true, and you read [name]'s letters to you, did it have any pointers in there?"

Geto nodded, "Apparently I was the one who figured out something was going on. But I don't know what. It didn't say."

Gojo added, "There was nothing on mine. Just them professing their love for me." He tried to break the ice a little since the atmosphere had become too heavy, but the comment made Geto slap him on the shoulder.

"[name] professed their love to everyone here, so you're not special." Geto rolled his eyes, a childish side of his coming out.

Gojo whined, sitting up and staring at your face with his arms crossed. "Well if they like us so much they should express it."

"They already do that. Don't tell me, you've fallen for them?" Shoko couldn't hide her smugness about the matter, wanting to tease him further. He was irritating, but sometimes it was easy to get a read on him.

Gojo shook his head, vehemently denying it with his whole being, similar to how a wet dog or cat would shake all the water off them when wet.

I didn't mean it in a serious way...Shoko took a look at Geto, who stared straight back, his thoughts written all over his face.

"Ok, ok, how about you're just very fond of them?" Shoko wanted to laugh at how Gojo acted, but the laughter died slowly in her throat as she realised she was also in the same boat as Gojo.

Shit, I need a cigarette. Or alcohol. Shoko couldn't do this sober.

Geto, realising everything going on, let out a genuine laugh, the first one of the evening. He knew his best friends like the back of his hand, and he knew their thoughts at this very moment, or at least a majority of it.

"Since we don't want the future we saw, let's do what we can." Geto took a step forward, resisting the urge to bump his forehead against yours. Instead, he opted for another boop on your nose.

"Yeah, I don't want to have to visit their grave on their death anniversary ever again." Gojo muttered somewhat spitefully.

He recalled the sad smile his older self had when he watched Suguru's older self place the flowers onto the makeshift grave. Heck, since you were treated as a curse user in that timeline, you didn't get a proper grave and instead was treated like shit after you died.

Like hell that is going to happen here, Satoru hoped his words and actions later down the track could help, but he was unsure how much he could.

Should I just get rid of the elders? Or should I convince [name] education is the way to go? His mind went through many possibilities in less than a second, and he was brought back to reality by Shoko sighing and agreeing all the same.

"I wasn't there, but I don't want to see [name] die so tragically. Nor do I want to see you two fight them." She threw her finished lollipop into the bin and stood up, "Gonna go for a smoke."

And she left.

Geto and Gojo sat in silence for what seemed like a long time, but was in reality just 2 minutes, before Geto started up conversation.

"It seemed like there was a lot [name] didn't tell us." He sounded lost and regretful.

"Makes me wonder if they trusted us at all." Gojo mumbled. "Or did they already say it, but no one listened?" He didn't mean any of the words in a spiteful nor mean way, it was more of an observation from what had already happened in an alternate timeline.

Geto paused for a moment, turning to Gojo as if he was a genius, "You're right. It took them a long time to hit breaking point, didn't it?" He remembered their older versions and the extra information they gave them. "Don't you think it was that elder who started everything?"

Gojo thought for a moment, "You mean he already started it."

"You're right. It's already starting to happen. [name] complains to me about the elder after they have a fight." A pause, "Do you remember when they said [name] killed him?"

"...3rd year. 3 days after a short holiday." Gojo recalled his older version's words.

"Ok, that makes probably around a year and three quarters left." Geto breathed out, "We have time." There was hope in his voice, and he was ready to do whatever it took to make sure you stayed with them.

Satoru grinned, standing up. "Yeah. We have time."

He turned to face your unconscious state, "Listen here [name]. There's no way we're leaving you behind. We've got lots to talk about, so you better be ready. We're not letting you go that easily." It almost sounded like a threat, but the way Gojo smiled genuinely through the whole one-sided interaction spoke volumes. He was serious about it, and it was almost like a promise he made with Suguru as a witness.

There were many things Gojo wanted to say, but he had no idea how to say it in the most Gojo way possible, otherwise that's just not him. But that'll be a problem for another day.

Suguru laughed at his best friend's antics, but agreed nonetheless. "Let's not hide anything, alright?" His words were softer, but it was also a promise to himself that he, too, needed to be more upfront with his thoughts and feelings.

"Make sure to tell us everything, ok?" Shoko gave your forehead a couple of taps, having come back from her smoke break quickly. She had stood by the door to listen just as Geto and Gojo had started talking about when [name] killed the elder in the alternate timeline, to see where they can go from there and how much time they had left until disaster struck.

"Shoko, that was fast." Geto and Gojo spoke in unison, watching her plop down back onto her seat.

"Had to make sure I came back down before [name] wakes up from how loud you guys are being." She teased.

"Oi!"

The three stayed like that and chattered away, filling the room with their joyous voices as they moved onto happier topics. Sometimes, it would veer into topics on how to make sure you stayed with them, but others, would be hopes for the future and what it will bring, should they change the trajectory in comparison to the alternate one.

There were many things for them to change, but the main thing was that they were never going to let you become their regret. Not in this timeline, never.

A/N: This one is somewhat of a sequel of this fic, and initially there wasn't going to be any, but I wanted to expand on some extra information about what reader/[name] has done, and what better way to do it but in an AU where another timeline comes into the original?

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rascalentertainments · 6 months

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"Wish Granted" AU: Asha

All right, you voted for Asha and her family first, so here we go! (Above concept art by @ishadow246. Big thanks to them for making this reference sheet, they read my mind and captured her design beautifully!)

So for this Wish AU, Asha was raised partially in Rosas as a kid, but then after father passed, and some of the citizens learned of Magnifico's true intentions, her family and other citizens quietly moved to the Hamlet known as "The Enchanted Forest". (Basically reached age 12 in Rosas, and then 13-18 in the Hamlet.)

As a kid, she was full of curiosity about the world around her, especially wildlife. She learned about how the stars guided people from her father Tomás, which inspired to want to see more of the world outside the Kingdom. When her father grew ill for seemingly unknown reasons, Asha's mother Sakina pleaded with the King to heal him. The man promised her this, but time went on and eventually Tomás passed. Maginifico had never intended to help.

Because of this, Asha grew to be more pessimistic as she got older. She no longer believed in the impossible or anything good to happen relying on magic, or anyone else to solve her problems for that matter. Even so, part of her desire for excitement still lingered, and nobody knew this better than her grandfather Sabino, whom she grew closer with over the years and became a second father to her.

With her wonder all but gone, she would end up getting help to save her family from the most unexpected source. For she wished on a Star, and the Star answered.

Now since Asha got along with other kids when she was little, part of that still stays with her, as she does read to the other kids there from time to time. (Think of this as a reference to Belle, who also loved to read) Even though she lost part of her childhood, didn't mean they had to lose theirs. So she enjoyed reading stories to them.

As for my choice of a Voice Actress, surprisingly my mother suggested Diamond White. Right now she's mainly known for being Lunella in "Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur" She's already a talented singer and play a range of emotions while still acting in character for her.

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For Sakina, I'm still planning her story out, but I can say that she does have a wish herself. It is in fact is similar to Asha's, but I'll reveal more in the story.

Sabino.....he was so underutilized in the movie, its criminal. Victor Garber deserved better. While he's not 100 years old, he is in his late 80's. Normally, he's a spry old man and actually still carries a lot of youth in his personality. However, with his wish never being granted, its started to affect his health. He does his best to stay active and gives advice to Asha during that "Wishing Tree" Scene. When his health starts to deteriorate faster and renders him nearly bedridden, this starts Asha drive to return to Rosas and save everyone's wishes

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And lastly: Valentino!

No, Valentino doesn't speak in this version. 😅 That'll be saved for the end, and he'll be voiced by an actual kid. (Disney, we didn't need a Donkey knock off, you do realize he was a parody right?) He might be only be three weeks old, but he's very attached to Asha from the start. He was a gift to her by Sabino as an early 18th birthday present in case his declining kept him from celebrating it with her.

The little goat is the runt of the litter, but has the heart the size of the forest itself. Always sticking by Asha's side and cheering her up when she really needs it.

Valentino is also very trusting of new people, but when Star comes down he does freak the heck out and doesn't him for a while. I mean he's not even human!

Oh and just as an extra character addition, I'm also having Flazino in this AU, since many people pointed out he was originally part of the film and had a bigger role. He's closest to a human friend Asha has in the Hamlet, as he gives them supplies and updates about the kingdom as Magnifico's apprentice.

That wraps up my first character list! Next up will be Star and then the King and Queen. Hope you enjoyed reading this preview to the story, or have any suggestions in the comments! 🌟

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francis-writes · 1 year

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Request: "I love your work <3 could you write about how Claude Frollo and fem reader met? I would like arranged marriage. And like how he reacted when he first saw her :)"

Judge Claude Frollo never intented to get married. Or, perhaps, if he ever did, it was in his early youth and these times passed long ago.

It was absolutely normal and well seen for man of his wealth and position to marry young pretty girls from good families, however for many years Claude was too busy with building his political status to even think about getting married. Moreover it was against his personal beliefs about himself - he liked to look as a righteous, holy man, free from carnal desires and needs of common people. For some time he planned to become a priest but he decided this career had too many restrictions.

What encouraged him to change his decision, and to find himself a spouse, remains a mystery to everybody but Frollo himself. But whatever the reason was, he was now waiting in house of people whose daughter he was supposed to marry.

You weren't sure why minister of justice choose you for his fiance, considering that your family weren't extremely wealthy nor powerful. Neither you were the most adored maiden of Paris and some people already gossiped that you must have some hidden defect because in your twenties you still didn't have a husband nor a group of children.

You felt stressed before meeting your future husband. You only saw him from afar before, during public events. He was definitely older than you, though still handsome and somehow alluring with his stern, cold demeanor. Actually what worried you was what you heard about his character. People claimed Judge Claude Frollo was merciless, cruel and strict. You wondered whether it was true and if he would treat his wife in more affectionate way.

You entered the room while your parents were busy conversating with their guest. Judge immediately looked at you when you appeared in the door and you shuddered under his piercing gaze.

Claude would like to think he was immovable and free of human emotions; yet your sight awakened something in him. He avoided paying attention to maidens, afraid what his reaction to their beauty may be. Still, you were going to be his wife, rightfully claimed in eyes of God. He wanted to know how do you look (well, it was a bit late to find out, considering the fact he already startes organizing the wedding) and he was struck by the answer.

You were pretty, with your smile and the shine in your eyes. He had to hold himself back but Frollo wished he could hold you now and kiss your soft lips, discover how your skin tastes. It didn't happen often but in that moment he didn't know what to say. His thoughts were racing but forming a proper sentence was out of his reach. Nothing seemed to be a good way to greet you so he simply stood up, stepped closer and, holding back other urges, he kissed your hand, trying not to stare at your exposes cleveage. You blushed and to his own surprise, judge found this endearing.

"So..." he finally gained strenght to speak "I suppose you're my future"

"Uh, yes, my lord" you said, a bit too quiet, still intimidated.

You were looking at each other in silence for

a moment before your parents told you to sit down and finish planning details of the wedding.

Judge Claude Frollo didn't pay attention to the rest of conversation. He answered automatically, uninterested in the list of guests. Whenever he could, he threw a quick glance at you, wondering how long will he suffer before you two will be able to spend some time alone.

There was nothing stopping his thoughts now. In fantasy he trailed his hands along your body, he tried to make an image of what was hidden under your dress. He wondered how would sound your sighs and moans and if he would be able to get these sounds from you.

#judge claude frollo #claude frollo #claude frollo x reader #judge claude frollo x reader

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bandedbulbussnarfblat · 2 months

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Alright y'all, I'm going do something I don't normally do and get political for a minute. I mean, I reblog things that are political sometimes, but I don't make my own posts about them.

So, I was on Kamala Harris' wikipedia page. Bc she's running for president. And I'm gonna vote for her bc she's not Trump. But I wanna see what she stands for or whatever. For what that's worth in American politics these days. (btw how fucked up is it that everyone refers to Biden and Trump by their last name, but Kamala by her first? like with Hillary there was the excuse of her last name being tied to a former president aka her husband. but with Kamala Harris there is no reason to justify it? it's just plain old sexism)

And I found this:

That's a screenshot from her wikipedia page. Oh shit, screen readers won't be able to pic up what that says. Let me copy and paste it here:

In February 1998, San Francisco district attorneyTerence Hallinan recruited Harris as an assistant district attorney.[55] There she became the chief of the Career Criminal Division, supervising five other attorneys, where she prosecuted homicide, burglary, robbery, and sexual assault cases – particularly three-strikes cases. In 2000, Harris reportedly clashed with Hallinan's assistant, Darrell Salomon,[56] over Proposition 21, which granted prosecutors the option of trying juvenile defendants in Superior Court rather than juvenile courts.[57] Harris campaigned against the measure, which passed. Salomon opposed directing media inquiries about Prop 21 to Harris and reassigned her, a de facto demotion. Harris filed a complaint against Salomon and quit

For those of you who don't know what Prop 21 is, here is a summary from the wikipedia page:

California Proposition 21, known also as Prop 21, was a proposition proposed and passed in 2000 that increased a variety of criminal penalties for crimes committed by youth and incorporated many youth offenders into the adult criminal justice system. Major provisions of the proposition, as summarized by Attorney General of California are:

Increased punishment for gang-related felonies; death penalty for gang-related murder; indeterminate life sentences for home-invasion robbery, carjacking, witness intimidation and drive-by shootings; and a new crime of recruiting for gang activities; and authorizes wiretapping for gang activities.

Requires adult trial for juveniles 14 or older charged with murder or specified sex offenses.

Elimination of informal probation for juveniles committing felonies.

Required registration for gang related offenses.

Designation of additional crimes as violent and serious felonies, thereby making offenders subject to longer sentences.

As someone who works with kids, let me just say that charging a literal teenager as an adult is absolutely horrendous. Because they are not adults. Studies have, in fact, shown that the adolescent brain is only about 80 percent developed.

I have worked with teenagers. They are not children, but they aren't adults. Like Britney Spears said "Not a girl, not yet a woman" Except you know, replace girl and woman with whatever your gender is.

And it's tough for these kids. I think a lot of adults forget how hard it is. Puberty. Hormones. The social hell that is high school. And there are so many of these kids walking around undiagnosed. Bc a lot of mental illnesses can trigger in your teenage years, most commonly depression and anxiety. Which is like, just a natural fear response to the American education system, tbh. Not only for mental illness, but also for disorders and disabilities. There are parents who refuse to get their kids help. I'm not talking about the 'I don't want to medicate my child' people, though they are annoying af too. Like, there are parents who will be told somehow by the school system that their child is showing delays, etc. And they just...refuse to process that. They can't accept it, so their kid goes their whole life until adulthood without getting the help they need. Some of them get help as adults. Some of them don't. And that's not even to mention the dozens of kids who fall through the cracks.

So I personally think it's a good thing that our possible future president was opposed to it. Like, she's got that going for her. And in today's political hellscape I take my wins where I can.

#politics #long post #kamala harris #us politics #i'm trying to add enough tags y'all can filter this shit if you don't want to see it

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as8bakwthesage · 1 year

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My Experience With Lily Orchard + Fuck Her

Now, if those of you who know me or have been following me for a while will know that I used to be a massive Lily Orchard fan. I used to support her, I defended her, and I was once a member of her patron even.

I’ve heard stories from people, former friends, former fans, about how much of a manipulating and nasty bitch she is. At best, she’s lashed out at fans for drawing innocuous fanart and for bringing up topics in stream that she doesn’t approve of (I’ve been there, I’ve seen it), and at worst she’s a lying abusive cunt who can’t help but make people around her miserable.

And while I’ve not been the subject of Lily’s abuse, I have been witness and bore the blunt of her passive aggressive horseshit, her manipulating situations to make me appear like a cunt for daring to correct her on an opinion of a book she never fucking read, her shamelessly putting me on blast in one of her videos where she insinuated I was stupid for asking a question about LGBT+ rep, for telling me and other fans to stop talking when we tried to defend our positions in chat.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells around her because I feel like every word I say or anything I do will be seen as an attack on her despite me being a fan of hers for literally fucking years and she knows this. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was 15-16 and I’m 22 now. With no other content creator have I felt the need to be so fucking careful of what I say.

And when I sent her an ask telling her that her yelling at others on stream for seemingly no reason was actively triggering me (mind you, in the nicest way possible because I couldn’t hurt Ms. Orchard’s feewings oh nuuuu) she ignored my ask. Do I have proof she saw it? No. Is she a large enough content creator that she receives so much interaction/asks on her tumblr that my ask got swallowed? Also No.

If you’re a Lily Orchard fan, I am not a needless hater, I am not a stalker or a troll or a bigot. I’m a transgender and biromantic/asexual person myself who is Native and actively participates in activities regarding my tribe and culture. I’m white passing like Lily is. I used to be a fan of hers for fuck’s sake and an active one too.

But here’s the thing - she’ll suck you in with her bold commentary and criticisms and some of it is genuinely really thought provoking and interesting. On the outset she has a “no tolerance for abusers” policy and she’s charismatic to an audience of teenagers who were being abused. Fuck, she helped me realise I was being abused and when the Toonkritic shit came out, that slowly started to help me realise I was being groomed by my exe (TheHauntedReader)

I convinced myself for the longest time that just because Lily wrote “Stockholm” that it didn’t mean anything. That all of her weird takes and opinions were just a quirky “haha i did this in my youth and i regret it” moment. But this isn’t 13-year-old me writing weird fanfiction between an adult and a child when I didn’t fucking know any better and was being actively groomed and abused, this was an adult who wrote CP and romanticised it and tried to get away with it and who should have known better!

And once you are a fan of hers, it’s hard not to become emotionally invested, especially if you’ve always seen her behaviour as normal, which I did. A lot of her fans are abuse/trauma survivors and she knows that. So many of us have confided to her that she helped us realise we could be happier and that we could escape. That we were more than our abuse. These are powerful things to talk about.

But she doesn’t care about us. Never has. Never will. She convinced me and has convinced others that us asking her stupid/silly questions is damaging to her. That it’s caused her so much emotional damage and stress that she can justify lashing out and verbally abusing her audience, y’know - the people who gave her a career. By her own admission, she hates us, but expects our support when she’s being harassed??

Girl, fuck off.

But that is just my own experience. I’ve seen some shit in the past couple of days that I can’t unsee and I encourage you all to look into it because it’s such a dark hole that the phrase “stare into the abyss for too long and it stares back” is what I feel like right now.

And I know why I feel like this - I invested energy and money and emotions into this woman and her channel. I’ve supported her. And no, Lily, this is not about me wanting to be your friend. It’s about me asking for some fucking decency as someone you at least know of and at most you know supported you? To not lie and misrepresent what I’ve said and then vaguepost about me?

Have I made mistakes? Yes. But that’s no excuse to berate and yell at people who have only asked stupid questions or fuck, even made goddamn harmless jokes??

Also, if fans/friends of Lily’s are harassing @asunnycoffee you guys are the fucking worst. Don’t fucking attack my friend you raging cunts. I have a couple ideas of who you might be, but I know you won’t air out your dirty laundry with me, Ginger.

You guys are pathetic.

Lily doesn’t care about her fans, she doesn’t care about her friends, and she’s certainly not going to start anytime soon.

#fuck lily orchard #lily orchard #sage writes an essay again #sage rambles

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buffster · 4 months

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Real Me (BTVS 5.02)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

In hindsight, it's funny how they attempted to make Dawn seem mysterious and malevolent only to later reveal she's just a dramatic teenager.

This episode is largely about introducing Dawn as a character and her place in Buffy's life. Real Me is interesting from a meta perspective, because we're watching everyone acclimate to Dawn in real time even though they believe they've known her for years.

In typical little sister fashion, Dawn remains totally unimpressed by Buffy's slaying. If no one else is going to take Buffy down a notch, Dawn will have to. Her relationship with her sister is the most strained.

The addition of Dawn is also revealing of Joyce, who moves from having an understandably complicated relationship with her complicated daughter to just seeming like a negligent parent. She pawns Dawn off on Buffy a lot and doesn't seem much more involved with her normal daughter than her slaying one. Dawn also isn't getting the pseudo-father figure thing from Giles, who is characteristically only concerned with his slayer.

Dawn does enjoy Willow and Tara, who seem to adore her and treat her like a beloved little sister (and less like an annoying one). It doesn't seem like she knows they're a couple yet. Tara especially is very protective of her and worries about how much of an outsider Dawn feels like. Some of this is projection, but it's also true. Dawn is expected to hang on the sidelines and not be a bother, so she gains attention by being a nuisance. I think Buffy's friends also find Dawn easy to sympathize with, because she's the non-special weirdo rather than the popular chosen one. They get that.

When Buffy is forced to drag Dawn along to The Magic Shop, it's little surprise she finds trouble. What does Joyce expect at this point, exactly? The owner of the shop is dead. Harmony is now running a Sunnydale gang. Outside, Dawn has her first encounter with someone mentally ill that can sense something off about her.

Joyce still isn't ready to take Dawn that evening (she's working) so Buffy calls in Xander to babysit so she can patrol. Dawn has a crush on Xander. Her perception of events is child-like, likely reflecting how much they shelter her (she thinks he went "undercover" to stop Dracula). I love seeing Xander interact with people. He just has a friendly nature, so he's able to easily listen to Dawn's rant about Buffy and be supportive just as he listens to Buffy rant about Dawn.

It's fun watching Riley's confusion over Buffy's struggle to deal with her sister. Yes, Dawn is clueless about slaying. Yes, Dawn gets coddled. Yes, Dawn often gets more attention. What's new? Well, all of it. Buffy is struggling to adjust.

Buffy: I guess. It's just - I know it's always been this way… She's the baby. But, for some reason, it's really been getting to me lately. She's always around.

Tensions come to a head when Dawn accidentally invites Harmony inside. Buffy is furious. I'm assuming Dawn was slipped into everyone's memories as seamlessly as possible, meaning she had little involvement/impact on previous events. You get the sense this season that Dawn being in danger/involved in supernatural events is new and not something they remember.

Buffy: No, Dawn has to be coddled and protected from the big bad world. Well, you know what? We're turning Dawn into a little idiot whose going to get us all killed!

I enjoyed watching Buffy's frustration over everyone's easy forgiveness of Dawn. It's true that "put your big girl panties on" was pretty much the message a young Buffy got at every turn. She wasn't given a pass for being youthful and naive, and it makes her angry that Dawn gets one. Especially since there are rarely dire consequences for her mistakes. Buffy was punished pretty badly every time she messed up. Seeing Dawn living the life she should have had and be ungrateful must be hard. Likewise, being the kid sister to the Chosen One must be hard.

Buffy: Harmony, when you tried being head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad… You suck.

Unsurprisingly, Harmony isn't difficult to defeat. Buffy beats up on Spike to get the info for her hide out. He seems to be growing resentful.

Buffy: Well, apart from the fact that magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal-Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?

Giles: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except that people pay for the things they never return. This will give me focus, help me increase my resources - and keep you lot from tramping about my flat at all hours. There may even be space for you to train in the back.

Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored were you last year?

Giles: I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

New location: Magic Shop.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: Buffy does not understand Dawn's reference to Hogwarts.

Dawn Summers: She has a Third Eye Blind Poster.

Harmony Kendall: She was stood up by minion Brad Bellamy (who she turned) in the tenth grade. She likes unicorns.

Riley Finn: Riley gets boyfriend points here. He sincerely doesn't mind her canceling plans (and totally forgetting him) here and is just sweetly supportive.

Rupert Giles: He bought a sports car as a sort of post-slayer crisis. It's not working out too well.

#david fury #realme #dawn summers #buffy summers #riley finn #willow rosenberg #tara maclay #spike #xander harris #buffy/riley #willow/tara #anya jenkins #xander/anya #harmony kendall #btvs 4.02 #rupert giles

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thegreatimpersonator · 3 months

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Okay, hear me out a little bit here. It's a little long but I'm shooting for clarity over conciseness.

My first take of SLL was that it was kind of cruel (and I still think so!), like I do think it's a bit more bitter and full of rage than is fair for what the actual substance of the song/narrative is. BUT as we're having a lot of discourse about "I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free," I actually don't think it's a particularly unfair line. I think that's a pretty normal feeling, coming out of a long relationship that didn't end well. As other anons have mentioned, there are several references to both parties having "fallen victim to interlopers' glances," etc. and I think that's where some of this bitterness comes from, in addition to the struggle of trying to help a partner whose mental health is kind of tearing the relationship apart. So my point is that I don't think this line is meant to be viewed in an isolated context.

Also, I think the reason I'm willing to give that line a pass is because of the sheer volume of reference in this album (and previous ones!) to her desire to marry him and have children. She was like 26 when they got together, which IS pretty young in the grand scheme of things, and then they remained together through her early 30s. Now it's only been like a year since they split up but she's touching a lot on themes of having children, her friends are having kids and getting married, and as we can see in The Prophecy, it seems like she feels her life is just this revolving door of hope for getting the "ending" she was looking for, only for it not to pan out. Wrt her "youth" - I don't think she gave him all her youth in the traditional sense, but it's harder for a lot of people to date in their 30s, especially as a woman prioritizing a desire to have kids tends to be perceived as "desperate" by potential partners.

So to that end, I really think that lyric does make sense, even if it's not as nuanced as we might want. It seems like she was kind of all-in on the relationship in past songs, and their future as well, and it seems like she feels he's taken that future from her. (Not a very fair feeling, but imo, an understandable one.) Like, Taylor is going to be 35 this year, and that's NOT old - BUT in America, a pregnancy at 35 is considered a "geriatric pregnancy" (cringe) due to increased likelihood of complications, etc, so if she cares as much about having kids as she lets on, I kind of get it, even though it is pretty insensitive. I could definitely see this being a lot of where she's getting this idea of him having had her youth and it having been kind of wasted, despite that being a harsh thing to say and leaving out a lot of nuanced discussion about the parts of their relationship she clearly appreciated and enjoyed.

I think the cruelest part of this song is the parts where she puts his mental health on blast - "how much sad did you think I had in me?" I do think that's a really insensitive way to frame the situation, and I don't particularly appreciate it.

i can see this!! It's not unfair to think that way especially in the early stages of a separation because you're processing so much anger and grief you can't really get to the acceptance stage right away, so fair enough! But yes to all lines about his mental health! Even "you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" feels like a part of a conversation I shouldn't be privy to

#you ask for the tab*

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oubliette-odette · 1 year

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The Reluctance of Love, Pt. 4

Apologies for the delay! I was in the middle of moving when I started this series, but now I'm in my new place and all is well and I can start writing again. Please enjoy!

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 Word Count: 2,724 (average 20 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, nothing happens....yet ;) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil. Not beta-read. Criticism is welcome, but be sure to distinguish criticism from hate.

There was no reason to stay in town. I had to leave immediately

I had hoped that lordhovid would fade with time, and that by the end of the month things would be back to normal.

Things were only getting worse.

Finding Altan at the docks and having to stop him from getting hurt nearly ended all of my self control. He had been right there, in front of me, completely helpless, and there was something horribly viscous inside me that wanted to pull Altan into my arms and drag him all the way through the town and up the stairs into my private rooms where I would throw him into my sheets and lay claim to him.

The fact I even considered such a thing was horrifying to me. I didn’t actually want that, did I?

The line between what I wanted and what my body was pushing me to do was becoming blurred and confusing.

I had never - never - felt these sort of feelings before as a youth. Growing into adulthood without having ever felt even a remote desire to mate with anyone left me in a completely inexperienced space.

When I got back to my rooms from the docks, I threw the barrels onto the ground and gathered long, desperate breaths into my lungs. There was an uncomfortable tightness in my pants and I grew horrified as I realized that this was my body responding further to Altan. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to handle it.

So I gritted through the pain and arousal and I got to work packing to leave. I needed to get out and find a way to stop this. I didn’t know of any other orc that had attempted to resist the mating instinct, but I had to hope that maybe there was something in our history that was orally passed down to my people. Surely there was something to prevent this from happening. Otherwise, my options were to either end my own life…or give in to these urgings. Neither sounded like a good option.

As I packed, every few moments I would need to stop, gather my breath, hold back the angry moans that were caught in the back of my throat and shudder through the flashes of heat that egged me on. But eventually I had finally retrieved my traveling gear and had packed for the first leg of my journey. I closed my forge behind me, my hands shaking from the restraint I was still holding. Gods, when would this tightness go away.

I did my best to lock away the part of my brain that was aware of Altan’s presence and instead focused on my steps as I fled from the town. I knew where to go, I just had to get there before it was too late to control myself.

I whispered under my breath my well wishes for Altan. I sincerely hoped that he was handling things better than I.

The smell of rich spring air, full of life and pollen and all things green filled my lungs. For the first time in days, I felt something hinting at calm, at focus. I could surrender to these sensations and take no risk in hurting myself or another. I breathed in the warm, richness of the fields around me. There was so much growing around me, each budding with seeds to produce new life for the next year.

I wondered if lordhovid had made my sense of smell more acute, because everything smelled sweeter, more succulent in its flavor. I took another deep, bracing breath and caught the whiff of wheat fields, warm and earthy.

My mind immediately strayed to a vision in my head of Altan, running through those fields in a late evening, the sun casting dappled light on his skin during its final ascent. He was running ahead of me, his copper curls bouncing as he leapt and spun. He would look back at me and his smile was pure sunlight. His eyes would squeeze tight and his mouth would be open wide. He held nothing back as he begged me to keep up with him, his small hands reaching for mine. Glints of gold caught in his hair, in his eyes, in the golden hoops that flashed on his ears. Gods, he was beautiful in this vision. Pure and warm and rich with life and youth.

I squeezed my eyes tight and forced the vision from my mind. There was no reason to think of those things. I suppressed it all away.

I passed few people on the road out of the little town I had called home for the last three years. I vowed to come back, to finish the work in my forge and let things go back to the way they were. I had once been an adventurer - a sword for hire technically - that had traveled across all parts of Faerun. It had been after I left home that I thought my only true use was to my brute strength. I had gained much experience from those years and the road before me was familiar to me. I knew where it led and I trusted my feet to get me there.

The rest of me however, I didn’t dare trust until I got this stupid lordhovid business resolved.

I slept under the stars that night. I felt only a slight tickle on the back of my neck that told me I had left someone - Altan - behind in town. I knew that Altan had probably sensed my distance as well. But I savored this opportunity to finally sleep. To rest.

I dreamt that night of Altan.

His hands were so small within mine, and they felt like polished marble as they brushed against my rough, callused skin. I felt a burn of shame as I realized my oafish, giant strength could never be as delicate as Altan’s. But he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He looked up at me with those bright, friendly eyes and his lips spoke something - I couldn’t understand what - before his other hand took hold of my other hand and pulled me towards me and out into a realm made of starlight and moonbeams. He finally pulled my left hand to his waist, where I felt the subtle curve of his body fit perfectly into the crook of my hand, and then his hand was on my forearm and he was pulling me into a dance. There was no music, there was no sound at all, only a swaying, sweeping display as we each spun around one another. HIs eyes never strayed from mine and my heart was pounding fast inside me.

Even in my dreaming, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Altan and I could have been friends - close friends - had things been different. His entire composure, his personality seemed so open and carefree. If I could believe this dream version of him to be the real Altan, he seemed so unafraid and unbothered by my appearance. I liked feeling so easily liked by him. I wanted to like him in return.

“Drunrag” He said, his voice that beautiful rich sound that reminded me of summer sunlight and cooling verdant rainforests. He stopped, and looked at me with what I could only understand to be adoration, admiration? “I wish this were real.” He said breathlessly.

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say I disagreed with him. I didn’t realize until then that we were together without feeling lordhovid pushing us together. There was nothing holding us here. It was so odd, and also nice.

He looked up at me again, “I don’t know where you’re going Drunrag. I hope you’re not running away from me because I followed you to the docks. I’m so sorry for doing that, I just…I wanted to see you again. You’re so handsome and I…”

How was this dream Altan so aware of reality? I cocked my head and narrowed my eyes at him. “This is a dream…right?”

Altan’s own dreamy expression faltered and his smile faded, “Yes. I think? I’m asleep right now…dreaming of you.”

“Then how am I dreaming of you?” I asked. “I didn’t run away from you Altan. I-’

“Wait, wait.” Altan interrupted. “Drunrag? This is actually you? You and I are together right now in this dream?”

I hesitated before nodding, “I believe so.”

He let out a heavy, forced breath and broke his hands from mine, his cheeks were darkening. “You… um…please forget what I said…” He ran his hands through his hair before he released a breathless laugh. “So…is this another symptom of your mating instinct? Connecting through dreams?”

I shook my head, “I wasn’t aware of this.”

He nodded, “Right, so we’re the first to do something like this?”

I nodded, then bowed my head. “I’m sorry. I’m doing my best to stop this.”

He shook his head, his eyes softening as he met my eyes. “Look, Drunrag. None of this really makes sense to either of us. But I’m not mad at you. I don’t blame you.” He looked down at himself and backed up at me. “Actually, I think this is rather nice. Neither of us are affected here. I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since we met and now we can.”

“You have?”

He smiled wide, but his eyes darted away from me and he blinked furiously, “I-I mean, yes, I…you seem incredibly kind and I could use a…” he sighed. “It’s embarrassing to admit, but I don’t have friends. Not anymore, at least. I was new in town, and you were the first person who I really felt a connection with.”

“That connection isn’t rea-”

He interrupted again, “I know, I know. You think it’s lordhovid. I don’t.” His stare became more intense, more stubborn. “I’m fairly certain I can trust my own mind versus my body. And I trust myself to know that I can trust you. You’ve been able to hold yourself back from something others of your kind don’t resist. You’ve considered my own safety. I find you to be honourable, honest, and I could see you as my friend. But, obviously, how you feel could be different then I feel, and so, maybe I’m asserting myself too strongly and you’d prefer if I just left you completely alone until we get rid of this…thing between us so that we can return to our lives as normal and never see each other again.”

He talked so fast, I sometimes wondered if all humans were like this or if this was just him. I blinked at him, watching the way his eyes nervously searched up at mine for my answer.

“I…” I struggled to find the right words. “I’m flattered. And I…I don’t feel differently than you.”

“You don’t?” He asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

I shook my head, “You are…fascinating, and you’re also very kind to me.” I paused and gathered my thoughts that seemed to be scattering about in my brain. “You don’t seem afraid of me.”

He furrowed his brows. “Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Well.” I didn’t know how to begin. “I’m an orc…”

There was an awkward pause before Altan chuckled, “Oh, is that all? You being an orc has very little sway over me. I like people for who they are, not what they are.” He shrugged, “I’m not particularly liked where I’m from because my father took my mother as a consort instead of marrying and they called me all sorts of names about my elf traits.” His eyes lowered. “I mean, that’s probably not the same as what you’ve been through. Gods, that makes it sound like I’m assuming people are rude to you like it’s expected behavior. That’s not what I meant.”

I managed a smile, he was amusing to listen to as he struggled.

“All I mean is that I understand in some small way that alienated feeling, and my mother taught me that it wasn’t right. It’s totally wrong and I’m not afraid of you. I’m more afraid of most humans, if I’m to be completely honest. Especially my father.”

“He’s not a good man?”

Altan shrugged, “He’s…complicated.”

He wasn’t making as steady eye contact with me and his hands were fidgeting, something about his father brought out his nerves. I shifted my feet, “I know that feeling well. I could do everything right, but my father wouldn’t see it, but he kept my family safe and he cared for my mothers and siblings. It’s hard to hate him for doing all that he knows.”

“You had more than one mother?” He asked.

I nodded, “Five.”

He cocked his head, “So that means your father had-” his cheeks turned dark and he cleared his throat, “he had five mates?”

I nodded, “lordhovid can happen multiple times for a male.”

“Because it ensures strong children.” He said.

I nodded.

“And you’ve never felt this with anyone, not even once?”

I nodded, more slowly.

He looked like he was thinking, his eyes looking vacant and distant. “My mother once told me that we all feel love and attraction separately. We can be attracted to someone and not love them. And when we love someone, sometimes attraction has little influence over it. And it’s different for everyone. It sounds to me like lordhovid helps build attraction, but it doesn’t build love.”

I stared at him, in awe. He understood it completely. “Yes. That’s exactly right.”

“I believe you may be more of a romantic than the rest of your people.” He suggested, “I don’t think lordhovid has happened for you because you don’t have a chance to experience romance. You need more than just a physical attraction to be close to someone, which I can respect.” He reached for my hand, “I don’t think that makes you broken or wrong. Although I can’t explain why it would choose me now of all times. I can’t even bear children!” he laughed. “So, there’s a chance you’re maybe a little broken.”

I laughed in return. It really didn’t make much sense why my lust chose him of all people. None of it really made sense with what I understood. I looked down at him, and I wondered…was there something to him that I wasn’t able to see that maybe was pulling me to him.

I always noticed just how golden and radiant he was. Everything about him reminded me of the sun, light and warmth. The way his eyes seemed to gleam when he smiled, the way his coppery hair had glints of pale light as it moved. His skin looked warm to the touch, and looked smooth and like it would be velvet beneath my fingers. His voice, his energy was bright and full of vivacious life. I couldn’t look away from that light, and I couldn’t deny the beauty of him.

Was this…attraction?

Without any symptoms pulling me to him, I could finally sit with and recognize that maybe there was something about him I appreciated. Was it possible lordhovid was giving me the one person I could love?

Except love had nothing to do with mating instincts, at least not where I was from.

“Where are you going if you aren’t running away from me?” Altan had a wry smile on his face and he stood back, folding his arms.

“I’m going back to my people, to learn about lordhovid and maybe find some answers to help us.”

He nodded, “You aren’t interested in having a travel companion are you?”

I quirked a smile, “Bad idea.”

He shrugged, “Worth a shot. Do you think this will happen again?” He gestured to the space around us. “I’d like to see you again, like this.”

I looked around, our dream world didn’t have much detail except for faint light, similar to a soft morning dawn and a mistiness that left the space obscure and undefined. But Altan was in perfect clarity, standing in his princely apparel that left an ache that felt familiar to what I felt when I was awake.

“I don’t know.” I hoped I’d see him again too, but I didn’t say it aloud.

“Be safe then, Drunrag, and let’s meet again as friends.” He said.

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chocolatepot · 4 months

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Still thinking about my thoughts on Austen and asexuality and writing-while-aspec ...

One of the reasons this is so fascinating to me is that it took me years to realize I'm aspec - that the way I feel and think about sexual attraction is fundamentally different from the way most people do - but once I did, I started to look at my own fiction and saw evidence all over the place. But it's not "evidence" that anyone not-aspec is probably going to pick up on, I think (given that nobody has ever asked me about it, lol).

Like. I write characters who are attractive, and other characters notice that they're attractive, but they just note levels of attractiveness in passing because those are ... things you notice! But in my writing, it's just another trait, on par with other good traits like "being nice", "talent for art", etc. I don't think I've ever written a main character who actually falls in love based on looks; the closest I tend to get is writing Ed/Stede in AUs where Ed notices Stede's looks before they even interact and it's a major factor in his approaching Stede, but a) that's an established character for whom this seems specifically IC, not one I've invented, and b) even then, this is wayyy scaled back from what seems to be a "normal" allosexual response based on the fandom.

And this is something that makes me think of Austen, because characters' attractiveness in her books is registered, it affects their public perception and their value in marriage, but on the page it is not a big motivator for them. They're largely pursuing either money/status or else, if they're sensible, a true meeting of minds with mutual esteem. Being good-looking is a benefit and an attraction, but on par with a host of other personal factors.

Mr. Darcy recognizes that Jane Bennet is very pretty on first meeting but expresses no desire to dance with her - he's mainly focused on the social implications of the looks of one's dance partner. His own attractiveness is up in the air in the book, based on his manners and his money. Anne Elliot is described as having been "an extremely pretty girl" in her youth, but also "with gentleness, modesty, taste, and feeling," while Captain Wentworth was '"a remarkably fine young man, with a great deal of intelligence, spirit, and brilliancy" - all of these things coming together with his boredom and her lack of anyone to love to make them a match. Mr. Tilney is "very near" being "quite handsome", but what makes an impression is his wit (in good and bad ways), and Catherine Morland is repeatedly described as good-looking, but her enthusiasm for Henry is what mostly draws him in. Edmund Bertram is attracted to Mary Crawford's "beauty, wit, and good-humour" and the "peculiarly becoming" talent she has for playing the harp. And Henry Crawford's feelings about Fanny, while stimulated by her looks, are much more complicated.

It's really easy to dismiss all of this as nineteenth-century prudishness and/or adherence to the principle that marriage needs to be based on more than attraction. But there are plenty of period novels where it's clear that a heroine's looks are a primary focus for the hero or the villain! It's very normal for nineteenth-century novels to have characters moved by each other's beauty in a foregrounded way. This might have been a deliberate choice on Austen's part, but it wasn't a requirement. (And she's hardly prudish. The books are pretty frank about the fact that people do in general feel and act on sexual attraction.)

The idea I keep coming back to is that there's such a big grey area encompassing finding it more romantic to not focus on physical attraction, thinking it's more realistic to have a holistic kind of attraction, etc. with general proximity to the concept of asexuality.

#austen #writing #queerness #asexuality #jane austen

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safic4-m · 2 years

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❤️‍🔥Lady Lesso

Pairing: Lady Lesso x Fem Lector

Author's Note: I honestly feel like Leonora is a little thing in need of affection, who just plays hard to get.

Word count: 859

~Master list~

One-shot

Wattpad

He who does not know his history is condemned to repeat it, but how can you know the history if it was erased from the mind of each person to forget that great tragedy. Many years ago there was a villain with enough power to put an end to good and evil and sincerely did not hesitate to do so.

Except that when she destroyed everything, there was no one, everyone had died because of what she did so she decided to remedy things by returning everything to normal and make each person forget about her existence, because although she was a villain she could not stand the idea of having ended all those lives, so many innocent people who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Opting to stay away from society so that you would never hurt anyone again.

You had been living all this time in a small cabin in the middle of the forest where you had the opportunity to connect with the earth and exist in perfect harmony.

The rumor about the destruction of good and evil had reached every person in this place so you had chosen to leave your retreat to investigate what had really happened. Thanks to your great power you managed to live all this time maintaining a youthful appearance, doomed to maintain stability between good and evil.

But you were surprised to realize that both schools had united, there was no more rivalry, they were in harmony with each other, so there was no reason for you to be there, you could return to your hut avoiding interactions with the rest of the world.

Unfortunately before you could leave you ran into a rather attractive, curly-haired red-haired woman with a dark aura about her.

-I'm not supposed to be in class,- says the woman with a touch of arrogance.

-I don't think so, besides I was on my way out, Reader,- walking past her, but being stopped by a strong grip on your wrist.

-Excuse me?- referring to the term you called her with.

-You're excused,- flashing a smirk.

The woman pulls you by the wrist and leads you around the academy to the dungeon, chaining you to a chair.

-I would enjoy this if it were in a different situation and you were the one chained to this chair,- you say with a sly smile.

-Who are you?

-The question is who are you Leonora?,- you say in a rather deep voice.

-How do you know my name?- you ask with annoyance.

-I know everything honey, and please don't play the bad guy with me,- sounding condescending, -because you have no idea who you're messing with,- seeing her take an axe.

-That's for me to decide,- standing behind you and putting the blade of the weapon on your neck.

Suddenly you disappear leaving the handcuffs on the chair and reappear behind Lesso with a knife on her neck.

-I warned you my dear,- sensing the woman's fear.

You take some distance letting her regain her composure.

-I am T/N/C better known as "The Mind Flayer"-seeing the surprise written all over her face.

-I thought I wasn't real, just a fairy tale to scare the ever

-You're wrong, I'm very real, but no one remembers anything about me,- walking around the place.

-Why?- she questioned confused.

-I made everyone forget, I killed innocent people because of my thirst for power,- passing your finger over the edge of a sword, -I just came to find out what happened here,- turning your attention back to the woman.

-Rafal,- she says as if that explains everything.-Of course,- you say sarcastically.

You run your hand along one of the walls and images of what happened in the place come to you.

-Even though I enjoyed our BDSM game I have to go and if anything happens again call me,- leaving behind a ring of a black sun, you say sarcastically.

There was something about her that you found charming, but you couldn't fall in love, love only makes you weak and you couldn't allow that.

- - - - -

You wake up suddenly when you hear someone calling your name, you turn to look around without finding anything, you hear your name again this time recognizing the voice. You find yourself in a vintage gothic style room but your attention goes straight to the woman writhing on the bed.

-Please Rafal," she pleads as she sobs.

It breaks your heart to see the woman in this state, she looks so small and vulnerable, as she is tormented in her dreams, hearing your name come from her lips brings you back to reality, pulling you closer to her.

-Shh...it's okay honey, you're safe,- running your hand through her hair, calming her mind with your power.

The woman starts to wake up, startled by your presence.

-What are you doing here?

-You called me,- you answer giving her a smile.

-I'm so sorry,- wiping her tears aggressively.

-You have to apologize,- not knowing what to do next.

You wanted to hold her in your arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright, that you were there to protect her from whatever.

-Well...I'm leaving,- leaving the woman alone before saying something you shouldn't have said.

-Stay,- she says to the nothingness, feeling alone again.

#school for good and evil #lady lesso #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #leonora lesso x reader #charlize theron #charlize theron x reader

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tuttle-did-it · 10 months

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Doctor Who The Star Beast initial thoughts (spoilers)

what are they all reaching for? Can someone explain this to me?

I need to chew on this episode a little more because I don't know how I feel about some of it.

I haven't properly watched Doctor Who since Catherine Tate left. I've seen a bit of things in between, but frankly hated most of what I saw. The only reason I'm watching now is because I LOVE Catherine Tate and David Tennant together. They're my favourite pair, and I couldn't not watch if they were finally going to resolve the horrific ending for Catherine Tate.

The good:

Catherine Tate and David Tennant still have electrifying chemistry. Catherine Tate was an absolute delight, as she always was on this show.

Yasmin Finney, as in Heartstoppers, is adorable and charming and fun to watch.

Shaun was a good character, and I liked the Noble-Temple family (except her mum, still hate her mum)

I loved the trans acceptance and I LOVVVED how much Rose's parents treasured and truly loved her. I LOVE ally-Donna, and I wish every queer child out there had parents who were that amazing.

The conversations regarding queerness- it's okay for cis-hets to be uncomfortable and awkward with how to deal with us, it's good for them to talk about it and learn, as long as they still show us respect. It was fine to show that this was new to the cis-hets and they loved Rose so much, they were learning to adapt. That's nice, and it's okay to show that this is hard for cis-hets at first, sometimes.

The conversations regarding pronouns treated as a normal consideration.

Related to this, in this anti-queer era, where trans children can now be taken away from their parents (in America), and the anti-queer/anti-trans attitudes all over (especially US and Britain), I admire that RTD was like 'I'm going to have a beautiful Black trans girl on Doctor Who and I'm going to give her loving and supportive parents, and fuck you if you disagree.' He knew this would get him a lot of backlash, and still did it anyway. And I appreciate and admire that.

The new Tardis interior is a nice kiss to previous iterations whilst a nice spin on things

Donna's horrific ending with Ten was one of the things I have always disliked about NuWho. I HATED what they did to her. It would have been better to kill her than mind-rape her, I hated that ending. It was so cruel. Although I didn't like the way they did it, I'm so happy that's finally resolved and she can go back to being the absolutely brilliant character she became at the end of her run.

The reference to the Tom Baker era with the barrister's wig in Tennant's jacket. It was silly but fun.

Rose's cute little stuffed toys were fun, but the moment I saw the one that looked like an Adipose, I knew the energy had been passed down to her and that would be enough for Donna to survive. Not so much sign-posting as it was sign-blockading- just announcing the entire plot immediately.

The character of Rose, even if I don't like her name, was still an interesting, intelligent, creative and thoughtful young Black trans woman, and that is always a delight to see. After 60 years, there is finally a queer Black person in the Who universe and I really love that. Regardless of whether I think this is a good episode or not, RTD intentionally and knowingly bringing a Black trans woman into the world was really, really lovely.

I also loved seeing a Black father who was loving, supportive and kind- Black fathers are very often shown in entertainment to be harsh, abusive, distant, etc to their families, so I like that we got to see a great Black father who clearly loved his kid and his wife.

The bad:

The annoying monologue beginning- show, don't tell. That was just silly to watch. Especially with just HOW dramatic they were trying to make it.

The Marvel-looking opening, I'm cool with the big budget, but it did feel disconcerting and took away some of the charm of the shoe-string budget DW.

Why, WHY does every story with a trans youth have to show bullying? No, let's talk about this. Because it feels like every story that does include a trans/non-binary/queer character, there is inevitably the scenes that show us suffering and being mistreated. What if, just once, there was a trans youth who was happy, and all their friends were cool with it, and they weren't mistreated because they were different? What if we didn't have monsters tormenting a queer child? We are more than our suffering. And we are story-worthy despite the many scenes of torment. It's almost 2024. Let's try to have at least one queer character in something that is not mistreated because of their identity. Just for fun, let's try it.

The deadnaming of Rose. That added nothing, it was unnecessary, her name is Rose, and no one needed to acknowledge any name that she was previously known by. Please, writers out there: if you're going to have a non-binary or trans character who has found their new identity, understand that we do NOT need to know what their previous name is. Especially if it is going to be used to hurt that character through abuse.

The plot was very, very basic. I know it's a children's show, I know it's trying to reset some things, I know it's going to be very 1-2-3 but does it have to be SO 1-2-3? Couldn't we throw in a spin? 1-1.75-2.35-3? Just a little less basic? I knew everything that was going to happen within just the few minutes.

RTD has an obsession with linking everything back to everything. I never really cared for Billy Piper's Rose, and never really cared for the obsession Ten in particular had for Rose. So I don't see the need for the name, it just feels unnecessary and an attempt to link things back to previous people and events. It's not necessary. We can love Donna's daughter without her being called Rose. I know that's RTD's thing, but I don't really love it.

Donna's mum. She's exhausting. I know that's the point, but I just don't really care for her. The story would have moved faster and been more enjoyable without her, for me.

The pacing of the entire episode was a mess. Everything was drawn out and over-explained until the third act, which was put into hyperspeed with nonsense explanations.

The weird creation of bullet-proof shields from the sonic screwdriver? I know it's a trope that is just used to get out of every scenario, but it just felt a bit silly. I preferred when the sonic screwdriver is used for practical things like 'resonating concrete,' but not absurd things like creating a shield. If he can create bullet-proof shields with that sonic screwdriver, then there's never any danger for him if he has enemies near- just draw a shield. It's stupid, and immediately takes away all drama and energy.

The Doctor just randomly telling this UNIT stranger all of his woes and secrets and thoughts and worries- again, show, don't tell. None of this needs to be said. And it certainly doesn't need to be said in a hyper-dramatised way. To a random stranger he doesn't know. Even someone like me, who hasn't seen the show in many, many years, will catch up without the monologues.

Because the pacing was a mess, the third act was a mess-- they had to fly through the whole 'Donna will die' stuff, and the 'but she and Rose still have the energy inside them and need to get rid of it' and that was definitely a weak part of the story.

Just 'let it go.' What? 'It's a shame you're not a woman anymore, 'cos she would have understood.' What? What does this even mean? This whole resolution made absolutely no sense.

I'm struggling to understand why the meta-crisis energy was never activated in Rose previously? Why she didn't get a letter home from school when she was glowing? Why when the kids were tormenting her on a playground she didn't accidentally nuke them all with all that power? Why did Donna have to be activated before it activated Rose? That didn't make any sense. Again, not integral, but just another little annoyance.

Rose's cute little stuffed toys were fun, but the moment I saw the one that looked like an Adipose, I knew the energy had been passed down to Rose and that would be enough for Donna to survive.

Also, how did Donna know that he'd regenerated back into Tennant? He never tells her. He also doesn't tell her he was a woman before. Arguably, it could be the energy telling her, but that energy hasn't come in contact with him for 15 years so why would it read him and his past and instantly tell Donna everything? And if that had been the case, Rose should have known who The Doctor was when she met him. Again, not crucial, just another annoyance that wasn't cleared up.

the second we see the cup of coffee, we all know exactly what's going to happen. Couldn't they have thought of a better way to keep Donna in the Tardis?

Donna finally gets to re-evolve, and the first thing you have her do, the first thing? Is to destroy his new console. Seriously?

Tennant's energy was a bit off. Not sure why, yet- I felt he was playing it just a little too much. It felt performative. The first moment it didn't feel that way was when he and Donna were in the Tardis for the first time.

RIP Bernard Cribbins. 🥺 You would have made this episode much better.

Things I'm chewing on

I appreciate that RTD tried to show a beautiful, strong, intelligent Black trans woman with a supportive and loving Black father (Black fathers are very often shown as abusive or absent, so that's really lovely, thanks RTD). So I'm thinking a lot about that, how Rose was represented both on her own and with her family, etc. That's beautiful, and lovely. And all too rare.

I might be struggling with how Rose's gender identity was part of the plot. Particularly, Rose's comment, 'I'm finally me.' I'm trying to work out what that meant. If she wasn't aware that the meta-crisis energy was in her, what, exactly, was stopping her from being her? She was already recognised by her friends and her family as Rose, as 'she.' So... what was that energy doing to her inside to make her say that? Is that why she was feeling lonely and different? Because that's not really made clear.

It also felt a bit like they were saying that Rose was nonbinary and trans because of the meta-crisis energy that had been passed down from Donna. That the energy had changed her somehow, and made her different. So, are they saying she was only trans and non-binary because of the energy inside her? If that's the case, are they inadvertently saying that Rose is not actually trans, and that now that the energy is gone, she knows her true identity? Are they saying trans and non-binary isn't something she was born with? That it's something that can be done to someone, without their knowledge or consent? And that she suffered unnecessarily because this energy made her believe she's trans and non-binary? Would she have been trans and non-binary had the energy never been passed down to her? I'm not really clear on what their message here with all of that was. I think it was poorly written, and thus not very clear. I need time to think on it to try to understand what they were trying to say with all of this.

I am looking forward to Ncuti Gatwa joining-- having two queer Black actors in the tardis would be really lovely (if Rose ends up on the Tardis), and I hope they do that just to piss off the cis-het anti-'woke' crowd.

That said, I wonder if it was fair to Gatwa to bring arguably the most popular NuWho Doctor back just before him. The racist 'fans' are already complaining because you dared to have a transgender and non-binary Black woman on the show. They're probably not too happy about having a queer Black actor stepping into the Tardis, either. By bringing the fan-favourite Tennant back for the 60th anniversary and then taking him away again, I wonder if those 'anti-woke' fans might rally even more against Gatwa, complaining that 'we could have had Tennant again.' Obviously those idiots will find anything to complain about, so fuck them. I hope that people embrace Gatwa with open arms. I haven't enjoyed DW for a very long time, but I'm certainly willing to give him a shot, as I do like him. I'm looking forward to seeing at least the first few episodes with him before deciding whether to continue with it or not.

#doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #david tennant #catherine tate #yasmin finney #ncuti gatwa #the star beast #trans and nonbinary characters in entertainment #transgender women #rtd #russell t davies #rip bernard cribbins #donna noble #doctor donna #tenth doctor #lovely family dynamic and supportive parents for a Black trans nonbinary woman and that's really lovely #RTD is going to piss off the anti-woke neanderthals and I love him for this even if I don't really like the episode very much #please stop deadnaming trans characters #please stop focussing on trauma and pain for queer characters #we are more than our suffering and honestly we deserve better #pronouns #normalise pronouns #thinking about the doctor who special and not sure how i feel about it #wow disney gave them a lot of money #doctordonna #long post #doctor who spoilers #catherine tate and david tennant have such wonderful chemistry and I really do enjoy watching them together #transgender #trans characters

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sophiamcdougall · 2 years

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I have tried very hard to find some deeper motivation for my irritation and I cannot, but it infuriates me the way some people on this stupid site and elsewhere talk about ... fictional immortal-ish characters. 90% of the time, your elves and Vulcans and other whatnots that look mostly human but live 4+ times as long have the same deal: "reach development stages pretty much exactly when a human would, then age very slowly if at all". Occasionally you get species like hobbits which genuinely seem to have a somewhat longer childhood and reach adulthood a little later. But even then they're not, like ... living in slow-motion, what would even be the point of that? I mean, when Bilbo's away for a year his neighbours conclude he's either gone and got married or that he's dead; they don't think nothing of it because a year is only two months in hobbit, or whatever. But I keep seeing people pulling these stupid dog-years takes like "He's played by a 28-year-old, but the character is canonically 67, which is about 19 in Morflanian terms, so that's why he's so impulsive and immature! Also his 32-year-old human love interest is actually cradle-robbing and the ship is problematic" and no that is not how anything works. Morflanians may view a 67-year-old as young and foolish because they are used to levels of maturity and experience inaccessible to humans. But you, dear reader, are not a Morflanian, and there is no possible reason he should appear to be basically a 19-year-old human to you! If he has human-level intelligence, it makes no sense that he absorbs and learns from experience far slower than humans do (unless the canon actually establishes that, in which case it should show in other ways!) Maybe he's more prone to youthful hi-jinks than his elders, but if he's more frolicsome/impetuous/whatever than the humans on the team ... that's probably just how he is.

I remember people saying it wasn't that bad that Booker from The Old Guard betrayed everyone he claimed to care about because, he was, in immortal terms, "really young"! The Old Guard immortals are just normal humans who discover one day that they've stopped aging and can't be permanently killed. Booker is a 250-year-old human man. Which yes, makes him the baby of the group, but he's ... he's literally older than any real person. If I wouldn't give a healthy 70-year-old a pass for being neurodivergent and a minor, why would I do it for someone 3.5 times that age?? If brains supposedly mature at 25 that happened to him 225 years ago!

And stop problematising adult-to-adult human/elf romances for heaven's sake. Apart from how vampires need to leave teenage girls alone.

Just enjoy your "what if endless youth" fantasy/thought experiment and stop being silly, please.

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brightlight-dazzlingeyes · 1 year

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love means nothing | chapter 01

leon goretzka x original female character [+18]

synopsis: 10 years ago, after winning wimbledon at the age of 18, olivia araujo was tennis's biggest rising star. she had a cosmopolitan social life, a handsome boyfriend and all the time in the world. now she was pushing 30, single, lonely and after several complicated injuries she could feel her career coming to an end. warnings: sports-typical violence; mentions of depression; angst; timeline of events are not based on real life; minors dni.

masterlist | next chapter

Chapter 01 | Everybody’s Changing

“Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay awake and remember my name

But Everybody's Changing, and I don't feel the same”

February, 2023, Lyon

Every sport has its own language, with every little detail about them having its own particular overcomplicated term. It helps to keep the normal people clueless and it makes us weirdos feel like we are better than everybody else. When explaining tennis to my normal friends the part they struggle the most is accepting the scoring nomenclature. So, let me try to explain it to you. A tennis match is divided in ‘sets’ and every set is divided in what we call ‘games’. To win a tennis match you need to win 2 sets, and to win a set you need to win at least 6 games. To win a game you need to score at least four points. The first point a player scores in a game is called fifteen; the second is called thirty; zero points is called Love. Why? I have no idea; it’s just the way it is. It’s a cute nickname. Basically, in tennis, Love means nothing.

I have been a professional tennis player for 10 years now. I heard every stupid pun and felt compelled to buy every stupid t-shirt related to the Love being zero thing. But now, alone in a 5 star hotel in France, the reality of the irony is weighing on me. You get used to hear it and I'm starting to think the corelation fucked up my head. I'm 28 and have been single for the past 5 years. To make the irony greater, I'm a singles specialist. In fact I haven't played in a doubles match for a couple seasons. For multiple reasons, my health being the main one. I had to prioritize. Can't play every tournament anymore, can't play all the categories.

It’s a life of sacrifices, being a pro athlete. That’s not news for me. But when you’re young what drives you is the belief it will all be worth it. It’s okay to skip college, lose friendships, miss your little sister’s birthdays– you’re doing it for a cause, for a passion. Because you already spent too much time in it, and you just can’t go back.

When youth fades the passion fades with it. The cause doesn’t feel as important anymore. The trophies don’t shine as bright. The cities you travel to are not as interesting. Or maybe it’s not an age thing. Maybe I'm just depressed. Or maybe it’s because my ankle is twice the size it should be. Another injury and it’s just the start of the season. I was playing Caroline Garcia in the Lyon Open semi final yesterday. She was defending like a lion and I was serving like I was 22 again. And then I slipped.

My week actually started pretty decently. I was in Paris, my favorite city in the world, having brunch with my dashing ex boyfriend. Sure, it didn’t go exactly as I planned, and he didn’t fall to my feet professing his love for me. If anything it was the other way around. You can’t blame me, Leon has changed so much since the last time we’ve met. He had just played against PSG for the Champions League round of 16, and before traveling back to Munich he agreed on having brunch together. We were staying at the same hotel and it was too much of a coincidence for me to let it pass. A once in a lifetime opportunity, really. In the past ten years of travel that didn’t happen once.

Leon and I dated for six months back when we were eighteen. That was a long time ago and we were young enough to be certain we were soulmates. We planned a beautiful wedding in Italy and two well-behaved children who would, naturally, become legends in our sports when they grew up. Well, none of that happened.

“You’re looking good.” He was being polite when he said that, and I was practically drooling for him. The man looked spectacular. I tried to behave in a friendly manner, it was brunch so it didn’t really feel like a date.

“It’s been so long!”

“I know, I’m glad you texted. I had no idea you were in town.”

“To be fair, the entire Bayern Munich squad is a bit easier to spot. And I’m in Paris practicing, I’m only competing next week, in Lyon.”

“Oh, I see. I’ll make sure I’ll watch you on the tv.”

“I watched you last night! I was in the stadium.”

“Really?”

It was so strange being in the same room again. He looked amazing and sounded so mature. He was a grown man in front of me. So bizarre that I didn’t get to watch that change happen. We hugged when we said goodbye and it was so hard letting him go. We promised to keep in touch but I remember how that went last time.

Now, I’m lying in bed after my physio shoved as many anti-inflammatory down my throat as she was legally allowed. Tomorrow morning I’m back in Paris and we’ll run some tests. After the pills kick in and the pains get easier to deal with, it's the boredom that drives me crazy. Recently, when I’m feeling especially sorry for myself, I’ll google my own name. And there it was, first link! A condescending sky sports article about my injury.

The image reads: Olivia Araujo withdraws from Lyon Open due to ankle injury. Later, in the same article, there was a link to the tweet the Open posted.

The tweet reads: “Unfortunately, Araujo has withdrawn from the tournament due to injury ❤️‍🩹Thank you for the incredible play, Liv! Congrats to Garcia who moves through to the final!”

After the night reading and almost crashing my phone on the wall, I finally passed out from the pills.

***

“Say goodbye to Indian Wells.” Sara, my longtime physio and close friend, whistled. She was reading me the results of my exams.

“Never liked the desert anyway.”

“But if you behave we can get you to Miami! Or if you decide to take a vacation as I have been suggesting, you could just skip it and jump to the clay season.”

“Miami sounds like a vacation.”

“You know I can only get you 100% physically, right? The mental part, Liv, that’s not with me. But I can tell something's off with you.”

“Of course something is off with me, Sara, my ankle is all fucked up! Just get me fit and I’ll be fine. Promise.”

My phone becomes much more important than that conversation when Leon texts me.

leon:

how did the exams go

feeling better?

liv:

i’ll be fine to play miami next month

what are you up to

True to his words, Leon did watch me play and he did keep in touch. He sends me a pic of himself at the gym and I feel like dying. I’m still not sure if he’s flirting with me or what. I do know he’s single so at least it’s okay for me to thirst.

liv: you’re looking fit don’t make me jealous

leon: can’t help being young and healthy but seriously i do know how much it sucks to be injured you want to talk? i can call

I called him immediately after reading his text.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

We both giggle.

“I’m actually not upset anymore. It could be better, but it could be worse.”

“So you’re an optimist now? Since when?” I can practically see him smiling on the other side of the call.

“Don't sound so surprised, you changed a lot too.”

“Yes? How so?”

“You’re all buff now.” I’m blushing as I say it and he laughs.

“But that, I just showed you how I did it.”

“I didn’t turn into an optimist. I just went through worse, so I can’t be too bothered over a sprained ankle.”

“Trust me, I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

Those phone calls quickly became routine. I went back to Lisbon for my treatment, and the nostalgia hit me like a truck. Being in my family home while calling Leon and giggling hiding from my parents. It felt too much like being 18 again. For my parents, they couldn't see much of a change. They got used to me being here over the last couple of years. I don’t remember the last time I went over 6 months without an injury, and dealing with that in Lisbon was so much easier. My father, who’s my coach, and my physio Sara, both live here. The place I used to call home is now an abandoned apartment in Monte Carlo.

“At least it wasn’t your wrist.” My dad spoke nonchalantly over breakfast. I am the daughter of Fabio Araujo, still the best ranking male Portuguese tennis player in history, 20 years after his retirement. The best ranking Portuguese tennis player in all categories would be me. I’ve reached number 1 in both singles and doubles. But that was a long time ago, now I sit comfortably under the 100’s.

“Yes, at least it wasn’t my wrist. Could be worse, right?”

My mother was Eva Borges, she was a supermodel in the 90’s and was terribly disappointed when I decided to follow my dad’s steps. But she got lucky and around the same time she got pregnant again. My baby sister Chiara was a perfect copy of our mother. Mom’s obsessed with the idea of turning Chiara into a mini her. Making her a model, marrying her off to a rich man. It’s been working well for her so far.

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Chiara said when I arrived. “He’s very handsome. His name is John.”

John was a puppy. A baby pug. We never got to have dogs when we were kids, our parents were too busy and didn’t really like animals. Now Chiara was 21 and had her own place. She seemed responsible enough for the job, unlike me at her age.

“I’m talking to Leon again.”

“The football player?”

“Yes. The football player.”

We’re in her bed and I show her pictures of him. The pictures he sends me.

“He’s so hitting on you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t know.” Chiara laughs when I say that.

“Well, I know. For sure.”

In my childhood room there’s a box with special items from my previous relationships. From Leon I’ve only kept two things: a Maroon 5 album he gifted me on our 3 month anniversary and a polaroid of us kissing. In the picture I was a blonde girl, baby cheeks being 90% of my face. At the time I also had a killer backhand that got lost along the way. Looking in the mirror I couldn't find a single trace of the girl in the brunette woman in front of me.

March, 2023, Key Biscayne

I was once a Grand Slam winner, now I'm out of the Miami Open after my first match. I got beaten 6-1, 6-2, in a 49 minute match. My physio blamed the injury and my father couldn’t really look me in the eye. He always gets like that when I lose. ‘Let’s go back to training.’ He’ll say tomorrow.

Florida is not an ideal place to be sad, at least not at this time of the year. The sun is shining too brightly and the palm trees are standing way too pretty for me to feel bad. Or guilty. I have been to the final of every Grand Slam. Wimbledon, I won twice. Roland Garros once. In hard courts there was only disappointment. Three years ago when I lost the Australian Open, I seriously considered retiring. The mental exhaustion of the sport became too much for me. So losing in Miami now isn’t exactly a tragedy. My ego has been bruised for a while.

So why keep going? I don’t know what else to do. Tennis is my life, is all I know. I can’t imagine starting over, and I do know the time for retirement will come no matter what. There’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I understand my father a lot better now, he made an heir, he taught me his trade, and now he still has a taste of the life he used to live. Maybe that’s what I should do. Pop a baby, repeat the cycle.

Back in the hotel room the realization of the loss hits me. I feel like crying. Or maybe punching someone would help too. Instead, I text Leon.

liv: i lost again and i’m in florida, that’s the worst part this place is awful leon: let’s meet up let’s have dinner together

#leon goretzka #football fanfic #tennis fanfic #love means nothing

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