#the science peeps would enjoy this one

[kelplordsupreme]

Classic wizard question:

If you could replace any one object with a grilled cheese what one object replaced would cause the most chaos?

Rules clarifications-

It is only one object, not all examples of that object (one single dollar bill is replaced with a grilled cheese rather than every dollar bill In the world)

Must be one continuous object (for example you can do one road but not the interstate highway system as that is a collection of several roads)

It must be able to be theoretically removed while still be recognizable as that object (for example you could do a building, including the foundation but not a mountain as without the land it is over it is not a mountain, just a big rock, no oceans or continents)

Has to be on the planet cause deleting the sun or moon is a boring answer.

[theturtlelovers]

"Cum for me baby" from Don with his girlfriend please?

₩Φ₹$Ω¡₽₽¡₪g $¡₪

Pairing: Donnie/fem!Reader Rating: Explicit Contents: Donnie is strangely overcome with the need to have you right then and there. Warnings: 18+, mdni, mating season, hickeys, creampies, unprotected p in v (wrap it up peeps) Wordcount: 1,594 Sentence Prompt: # 75

𝕊𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕤

Notes: Excuse my poor attempt of being more poetic in my writing! Hope you enjoy!

Your presence was like a living temptation to him, as if every cell in your body was crafted to make him lose control around you. Carnally irresistible, Donnie found it impossible to keep his hands off of you. Earlier, he had tried with great effort to keep his eyes on the TV, but your scent drifted into his nostrils—so sweet and enticing. Overcome, he leaned down to breathe deeply in the crook of your neck.

The look you gave him almost made him shudder visibly. You appeared concerned by his sudden change in behavior, yet there was an undeniable excitement in your eyes as he ran his tongue over your pulse point.

He wasn't sure if something was wrong with him, but he wasn't entirely focused on figuring it out, as your soft gasps were far more captivating than anything else. His skin felt like it was on fire, and his glasses had become an irritation, so he quickly removed them and tossed them onto the coffee table. He didn’t need them anyway; you were close enough that he could clearly see your beautiful expressions.

Donnie was a turtle steeped in science, his expertise evident in the gadgets he wielded both in the lab and on patrol. He had deciphered ancient codes to deactivate a timed toxic bomb threatening New York City and uncovered the mysteries of the purple ooze. Yet, in your presence, all logic seemed to evaporate, leaving him a slave to his emotions. His instincts urged him to keep you selfishly close and immerse himself in your natural scent. He desired to fill the very being he worshiped with his essence so intensely that no one else could occupy your thoughts but him.

But as time stretched on, it seemed like hours had passed, and he was certain you were too overwhelmed to form a coherent thought. Your skin was flushed, adorned with a trail of red marks across your delicate skin—marks destined to deepen into purple.

It almost felt like your first time together, heated with a passion so intense that you couldn't stop trying to touch each other, yet tinged with nervousness due to a lack of familiarity with each other's physical needs. However, despite the similar rush of emotions, Donnie's hands never fumbled or shook with uncertainty. They moved with confidence and precision, driven by an eager desire to worship your very existence.

Just a tilt of your head was enough for him to capture your soft lips with his, sighing softly as he found a semblance of relief amidst his lustful haze. His large hands were intent on exploring the canvas of your body despite the fact he’s seen more times he can count, gently kneading your flesh, which was much softer than his own. 

"Donnie..." Your whine pierced through his haze of desire.

He shuddered this time at the sound, murmuring, "So pretty and all for me.” The turtle licked his lips, dried from his heavy pants for air.  

The space between your thighs glistened with a mixture of your juices and his essence—a beautiful concoction, Donnie might add. Despite the evidence that he had finished inside you several times, his attention remained laser-focused on your pleasure, his mind relentlessly urging him to give more and more. It would be remiss of him not to, especially when your lips parted so beautifully with each mewl that escaped them.

He pressed one hand firmly on your back to keep you pinned against the couch. A fleeting thought crossed his mind, wondering if a three-fingered imprint would remain, but it quickly dissipated as he became captivated by the way the sweat on your skin sparkle ethereally.

Seriously, were you a fallen angel hell-bent on cursing him to eternally crave your body? No matter how many times he made you cry out his name, no matter how tightly you clenched around him that is felt like you were pulling him deeper until he climaxed, he still wanted more. Or perhaps he needed more. Donnie couldn't tell anymore; his thoughts were so tangled that he couldn't distinguish desire from necessity. Either way, it seemed his body was surrendering to its own carnal instincts, relentlessly seeking release with you, in you.

Donnie muttered a curse under his breath as his free hand slipped beneath you, caressing the bundle of nerves that made your thighs begin to quiver. Your hands clutched weakly at the cushions, moaning with abandon.

He hissed through clenched teeth as he felt your inner walls tighten around him once more. "Come for me, baby. You can do it," he encouraged gently.

It was only a moment more before you released a stuttering squeal, your nectar coating him further as he continued to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm. Donnie bit his lower lip as his torso lowered to brush against your back, emitting a groan and a deep, reverberating churr that would make Raph envious. He pushed himself as deep as he could inside you as he came. Your smaller hand clung to the wrist of the hand between your legs, panting loudly.

Finally, Donnie's mind began to clear, his intense sexual need appearing to wane and find satisfaction. He hoped he hadn't pushed you too far.

You seemed to recognize that it was over when Donnie didn’t immediately resume thrusting into you with his previous unrestrained vigor. Slumping beneath him, you felt his weight relax as he lazily placed kisses on the hickeys decorating your shoulders. Both of you appeared content to remain in your current position, with him still inside you, enjoying the quiet aftermath together.

"Holy shit..." you mumbled.

He let out a soft chuckle. "Too much?"

You shook your head. "No, no. It was amazing! I just don't know what came over you so suddenly.”

“I actually don’t know either,” Donnie hummed thoughtfully. Carefully, he pulled away and slipped out from the comfort of your warmth. He had to restrain himself and look away when he heard you release a small whine, feeling the emptiness and his essence dripping down your inner thigh.

Donnie quickly put his glasses back on and walked away to grab some water and a towel for you. While he was gone for that brief moment, you sat up, grimacing from the familiar soreness setting in. You hadn't felt this achy in over two years, back when you were both fresh adults, newly eager to explore the beginnings of your sexual life together.

Once your turtle lover returned, he insisted on helping you clean up despite your protests about him being just as messy. Nevertheless, he was determined, so you let him help subconsciously avoiding your inner folds to leave them coated with his essence. After ensuring you were comfortable, he took care of himself.

After redressing lightly, you headed into the kitchen, taking the water Donnie had provided with you. Following a session like that, you definitely needed some food. Donnie, meanwhile, simply pulled up his underwear and lingered in the kitchen, watching you closely. His instincts urged him to stay nearby.

His mind was still slightly clouded from the spontaneous moment, but not enough to impair his decision-making. He had a gut feeling that the intense desire might return. It was confusing, though, why such behavior was manifesting in the first place, especially since nothing specific seemed to trigger his sudden, overwhelming urge to take you right then and there on the couch.

And your poor couch. It was probably ruined from your activities now. You two had used it like dogs in heat. Huh. Like dogs in heat. In heat. Heat. Heat!

Donnie's eyes widened impossibly with realization. He and his brothers were now at a sexually mature age. Furthermore, it was that time of year—mating season for red-eared sliders, when they succumb to their need to breed.

Oh God, he was in heat and completely unprepared for it. He cringed at the thought of what his brothers must be enduring without a partner to satisfy their reproductive urges. He guessed it was wrong to assume they wouldn’t experience it just because they hadn't felt it immediately after reaching puberty. Casting a long glance in your direction as you prepared packaged ramen, Donnie walked into the living room to grab his phone and sent Leo a text. It was around this time that his family usually gathered for dinner.

Donnie: How’s things going at the lair?

The self-taught scientist received a swift reply from Leo, who was always prompt when responding to Donnie, knowing it wouldn’t be just another meme or silly pun. Unlike Raph and Mikey, who enjoyed sending Leo those sorts of messages just to tease him.

Leo: Everything fine

Leo: Why? Should there be something happening?

Donnie lifted a brow. Donnie: No, no! I was just checking in! See ya later He set his phone down on the coffee table, his lips pursing in confusion. Leo wasn’t one to mislead about the state of their close-knit family, so surely everything was fine with them. It seemed the issue was just with him. Perhaps it was because he was the only one among his brothers who had any sort of sexual experience.

Donnie turned at the sound of your feet pattering across the floor as you returned with two bowls of steaming ramen. He couldn't really complain. Not when you approached him, your body adorned with such beautiful marks, a testament to the intensity of their earlier moments together.

Since you were around, maybe this experience won’t be so bad.

Tagging: @mrghostings, @whygz @supershiny-raven Interested in getting tagged? Come check it out!

Like what you read? Check out my masterlist to see if you find anything else!

[trashlama]

Heeeeeyyyyy.... guess who's ADHD can't let them write for shit?~ This bitch✨~

I suuuuuucck guys I know! I did a poll and everything just so I would have to write some of these! I just couldn't help but get side tracked.... My brain is in the LMK and Spiderverse fandoms!!! Though I will say I basically got this Rise Donnie x Big Mama Assistant req almost done. Almost I say. We'll see if I post it in the next two days and not something else random instead.... I suck lol

Anyways— here's my 3am thoughts from the other night that I'm finish up tonight ironically at 3am again. Soooo bare with me these are basically a bunch of summaries/plots/not fully flushed out possible one shot ideas I might do. Probably could've re-read it a couple more times buuuuttt it's about to be 4 now so....

I hope you guys enjoy!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

+++++++++++++++++++

Sooooo I was going through the Across the Spiderverse tag(specifically Miguel O'Hara) because you know he's hot. Priorities— Anyways— I kinda had an idea. Brahhzz what if I just took the whole Miguel kidnapping his dead wife/lover's alternate dimensional copy deal that everyone has been throwing around and introduced a new take on this tale?

We all know that the Spiderverse is very open to a wide selection of possibilities and versions of Spiderman and we're all aware that the same thing applies to other characters as well. Soooo who said that Y/n has to be a civilian/or a version of Spiderman for this idea to work?

My fellow peeps I introduce to you Earth 2099 Miguel O'Hara x  Villain/Alchemax worker/Morally Grey scientist Reader!

I can kinda see this playing out in a few ways.

1.)Villain reader investigating the strange phenomenon that occurred a couple months before hacking the multi verse and stirring up trouble. Miguel intervenes and takes what he wants.

For the last year since the bizarre phenomenon in downtown Brooklyn you've been stirring up more trouble than you typical due to collecting the materials needed for your "experiments" to figure out what that phenomenon really was and what the hell was Alchemax —your ex-employers— were up to with your research. With some finessing of the illegal kind you figure out what the corporation was up to. Before being fired you had discovered the existence of the multiverse however before you could investigate any further you were let go. Now that you have your research back you're able to Doc Octo this shit and break into the multiverse. If you could pull this off nothing was stopping ya' from fulfilling yer goal and maybe scoring some fame while you were at it. After some convoluted ass science mumbojumbo. You manage to Doc Octo this shit and break into the dimensional web that held the spider verse. Inside the alternate universe you immediately start messing up shit straight off the back as soon as you fly through the colorful portal. Miguel is quick to pick up on this anomaly and sends some Spiders out to handle the issue. Long story short— they fail. Forcing Miguel's hand to go and correct the anomaly himself. Only to find that it was you. Her. His dead wife/or dead lover. The only problem is that you're obviously not a good guy. Miguel being Miguel will try to rationalize it to himself as he demolishes your equipment/suit that you're not his Y/n, you're a villain, he can't keep you without risking a whole universe just for his selfish desires. However as he stood over your defeated helpless form. He decided. If one anomaly can exist and not destroy existence why can't another? There were ways around this. There had to be. Holding you in his grasp again the hero wasn't sure if he could let you go once again....

2.) You're an inventor/scientist that works at Alchemax/or your another rogue scientist . Either way you're looking to get into the Spider verse. Since the phenomenon from a couple months ago you've been intrigued by the strange occurrence. The news labeled it a "strange weather occurrence" however you knew that wasn't the case. If you're working at Alchemax you've known about the phenomenon since the beginning. If you're an inventor/scientist (with some grey morals) you found out after some research and trespassing. Either way your tinkering pays off thanks to the help of some stolen tech from Alchemax and an interesting glitch from the hacked tech. You eventually have yourself a fully operational universe hopping watch. And where do you end up? Right in the middle of Earth 2099. Miguel is immediately alerted of your presence. An obvious stranger to this Jetson world you find yourself quickly apprehended by a small group of spiders/or Miguel. Either way the red & blue leotard nosferatu as soon as he catches sight of you the dude is all over you. Miguel may be a man who would like to believe he is in control of himself and his rash decisions buuuuttt that's gonna be a nah. Never had the Spiderman ever expected to speak to an alternate version of his dead wife. Especially in person. Every time he's stolen a glance it was from a distance or behind one of his various monitors. He couldn't risk ruining another verse. However somehow regardless of his attempts to keep his desires at bay you've still managed to break past that last thing that was keeping you from him. Now that you're here the thirty year old wasn't sure if he could let you leave him again...

3.) What if instead of breaking into the multi verse. Alchemax employee/Morally Grey scientist Reader! is lured into the multiverse? In your home verse the Miguel who you had married was dead. Struggling with piling debt and depression you choose to bury your problems under research into the weird phenomenon that occurred in downtown Brooklyn a few months before. During this time of trial and error you figure out how to access the multiverse thanks to some misplaced Alchemax files and risky choices. The documents aid in building the device that would aid in your plan to find your ex-husband's alternate universe copy. All the while you were walking right into Miguel's clutches. Cause like you Miguel was having an equally hard time getting over his family's death. Although they are gone the widowed father couldn't help but, search for his loved ones amongst the various worlds that rest at his finger tips. He needed them. He needed you....and you needed him. Although you guys weren't from the same earth you both can replace the pain that was birthed from this tragedy and regain something more. Just be a family.... Hopefully you want to play his game because Miguel couldn't watch from the sidelines any longer.

Alrighty guys that's all for now! Sorry if they're a little all over the place. Regardless I hope you guys liked them and I hope you guys have a good week!

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Return'

Doug and I have made up for our disagreement regarding Montana. I did not, in fact, go to his St Patrick's Day party (due to the fact I was busy with my daughter's Scout pack being in the parade), but we bonded over the insane weather in our region recently.

He had a lot of strong opinions on this, and it was a little scattered. Kind of like most TV shows, I guess.

CW: Doug Doug's on and continues to have Feelings about Certain Geographic Locations. Enjoy!

---------------------------------

Episode 4: “Redneck Family Bonding”

You know how I know them clone boys is from Florida?

Because the show opens to Little Orphan Blonde sleeping in their busted work van wearing a puka shell necklace while her brother Daddy Warcrimes is shooting fruit on the beach all while their adopted mutant dog chases critters away from the trash can.

Yup. Average day in Florida. 

Of course Daddy Rambo is sitting on the ledge, watching Daddy Warcrimes and mumbling to himself. Do you think he peeps on the neighbors in the other part of Space Daytona? He totally does. Daddy Rambo, you need a girlfriend, make that fruity robot wear a skirt and take it out on a date or something. 

Hell YEAH, my boy Toaster Strudel is BACK! Look at him hugging everyone. Good man. Love him. Why is Daddy Warcrimes still wearing that fisherman sweater, is it St. Patrick’s Day still? Where’s Rex? Oh well. 

And they’re chilling out on Hoops’s porch, chugging the man’s liquor and eating his sushi. I would, too. Oh man, they’re referencing Ryan-from-Accounting. I’m sad now. Where’s Church Lady? Probably realized she was too good for Ryan-from-Accounting, or maybe she found his bitch wife Laura and now they wine buddies. I guess. 

Aw, Mutant Jimmers is friends with the monkeys. God damn, I love Mutant Jimmers. 

No one can hack into the iPad Little Orphan Blondie took from her internship at the Museum of Science and Industry. Little Orphan Blondie’s a kid, make the kid do it! All kids know how iPads work! 

They still kept Daddy Warcrimes’s armor with the Georgia colors and the skulls! And that’s why Daddy Rambo won’t look at him–look at Daddy Rambo’s colors, man’s a Gator fan and the SEC decides everything now don’t it. 

So…they’re going back to Space Wyoming? Oh man, I remember this dump. I hope they threw THAT BLOND JACKASS’S body in a dumpster and let the bears eat it. 

Back to the walk-in refrigerator where Daddy Warcrimes hung out with….oh. Oh. Sassy Park Ranger. Oh. But hey they found an ATM! How else are they gonna buy weed out here? 

You know it’s a redneck family vacation because someone’s gotta get out of the trailer and turn on the circuit breaker cause there’s no power and they gotta watch the Saints play. At least they ain’t hot wiring the HMS Search Warrant to power shit up. Actually, it would be great if they did–that’s some redneck engineering right there and it’s good bonding for those angry boys. 

Oh the daddy fight! Daddy Warcrimes and Daddy Rambo need the therapy and they ain’t gonna get it so they gonna do what rednecks do when they upset and need to talk…go outside the trailer and scream and shove each other while the dog barks at everything. Someone needs to trip on a rusty rake now. I feel like I’m watching my own family on Christmas.

Of course, turning off the power means the critters are coming! Is it gonna be a snow gator? No? Oh man it’s one of them worms from that sand movie that Bobbie Lee keeps talking about! 

Go go Daddy Warcrimes go! Save Daddy Rambo! 

Once again, they rednecks, because nothing solves a problem like shooting a gun repeatedly into the ground. Don’t none of these folks have a taser? Some bear mace? Come on, there’s a Wal Mart on Space Daytona I know there is. 

Mutant Jimmers is helping everyone out! Go Mutant Jimmers go! When does Mutant Jimmers get her own show? 

Toaster Strudel bitching at everyone as he gonna do. I agree Toaster Strudel, I agree. 

Man look at Little Orphan Blondie go and there’s Julio doing all the work while being chased by the snow critter. Why does every animal on earth wanna mate with Julio I swear to God. 

And they turned the power back on and boom no more critter chasing. This is the most redneck show I swear I’m watching a show about my idiot brother in law and his friends in Wyoming. 

Nothing brings the family together like going out to an abandoned trailer, searching for the power, shooting guns, getting chased by critters and a screaming shove-fight outside while the dog chases a big-assed animal away from the garbage. Yup. Space rednecks. They all need NASCAR shirts. 

Well, they got the iPad working again….back to Space Florida! And they all getting along.

Meat Muffin, why did this episode make me so happy?

Tagging Doug's fans because yes: @skellymom @cdblake1565 @megmca @sued134 @eyecandyeoz @amalthiaph @yeehawgeek @eelfuneral @thecoffeelorian @lightwise @archivistofnerddom @askyourfox @heavenseed76 @totallyunidentified

[miscfandomgifimagines]

Hey! Can I request Recom lyle wainfleet x shy!reader pls? I love you!! <3

I didn’t think I would be doing requests since I’m pretty busy with school and my small business but this was adorable and I couldn’t resist so thank you anon! I really feel like Lyle would be be pretty chill around a shy person but I also feel like the more he gets to know them he would be into teasing them a bit more. I hope you enjoy! ( ^-^)/💕

Lyle Wainfleet X Shy! Human Reader

* You were hoping to get the chance to work on Pandora as a scientist but when you found out what your job entailed you got really nervous. Your main job would be to oversee the recombinant team and make sure their mission went smoothly. This involved a lot of one on one interaction with a bunch of marines... Yeah. You were *so* nervous you might have lost sleep over it. You had very limited experience with soldiers and you knew that they were often rough around the edges to say the least.

* You were determined to make the best of the situation, even if you had a million what-ifs running through your head. Your first day on the job was waking up the recoms. For safety purposes, you could only wake two at a time so if anything malfunctioned or they had issues you could correct the problem before risking any of the other bodies. Round one was Mansk and Lyle who both woke up a little confused but were pretty easily managed.

* You introduced yourself quietly and found making eye contact was harder than you imagined so you focus on your clipboard.

* "I am y/n, I am part of the science crew that you'll be working with. My job is to make sure your bodies are functioning as they should and treating any injuries you may face." You glance up at the two marines and realized just how big they were. You were already kind of short but hanging around with giants really sent it home.

* Mansk nodded his head and started his reflex testing with one of your colleagues. Lyle however sat down on the nearest surface and stared at his huge hands. He looks over at you with big eyes and a twinge of worry in his voice. "Doc, what... Why? What happened?" His confusion actually calmed you down a bit and made him seem less intimidating.

* "I know this is umm what's the word... Jolting?" You fumble for words as Lyle peeps up. "Freaky is more like it." You were a bit hesitant to keep talking so you gripped your board tighter and cleared your throat. You made yourself look into his eyes and tried your best to be comforting.

* "I suppose that's a way of phrasing it too. Um... How much of your last life do you remember?" You realized quickly that was a personal question and followed it with a rushed, " Don't feel like you have to tell me any details, but sometimes it takes a little while for memories to come back after first waking up." Lyle looks at you and rubs his hand on the back of his neck, looking mildly stressed out.

* You don't know what made you do it but you offered your hand out for him to take. He pauses for a minute but places his hand in your small one. At first, he brushes his fingertips against your palm and when you didn't pull back he slowly put his whole hand in yours. His yellow eyes are watching you and suddenly you feel a bit silly.

* It was like your mouth stopped functioning properly and you try to choke out a sentence to make the silence less intense. "Umm, just so you know I'm here for you." It sounded sappier out loud than you thought it would and mentally cringed a bit. Lyle didn't say anything but squeezed your hand and gave you a nod. He seemed to be at a loss for words too.

* "I have a copy of all your previous video logs leading up to the... um... you know" You motion your other hand awkwardly in the air, not wanting to mention his death so soon after waking him up. "So if you want to see any of them or access your personal belongings they're in my office. You're welcome to visit anytime... As I said, I'm here for you." You flash a small smile in hopes of cheering him up a bit. It seems to work because he takes a deep breath and removes his hand slowly.

* "So what now Doc?" Your face got hotter as he leaned forward into your personal space. You stumbled over your response a bit, "I'm not really a doctor, I just do um sciencey stuff. As for what you're going to do next. You'll be working with Marq over there and he'll lead you through some exercises to see how well your body is doing. And hopefully, after that, you'll be able to get some food and rest." You trail off a bit at the end of your sentence but add some more soft words.

* "The first day is the hardest, so just take it easy tonight okay?" You move backward and you feel your heart race a bit as Lyle continues to stare at you even after you've broken eye contact with him. When he stands up you move out of his way quickly and do your best not to trip over your feet. When he reaches Marq he looks back at you and you give an encouraging thumbs up.

* Lyle does what he's told for the rest of the day and relaxes as much as he can in his new freakishly large body. His mind keeps running back to you and your quiet words. Being a marine he's pretty used to being barked orders and following them with no questions. He was terrified when he woke up but the longer he was awake his memories trickled back in. He didn't realize how much he needed someone to be soft with him at that moment but was ever grateful you took the time to comfort him when many others would have ignored him.

* At lights out he can't sleep and starts wandering the halls, going back to the science lab he met you in earlier. You were probably asleep but Lyle was hoping that you were there and he could spend some more time with you. He trails along slowly and gets lost in his thoughts when he almost runs face-first into a doorway.

* He felt a sharp tug on his pant leg and stopped suddenly, turning his head around to see what had touched him. It was y/n from earlier. She was dressed in casual clothes and carrying a mug of what smelled like hot chocolate. She had a worried look on her face and she suddenly let go of his pants as if he was on fire.

* "I um, you... You uh were going to hit your head" She points to the doorway about a foot away from his face. It was his turn to feel silly this time. "Well it's good you caught me when you did then. I didn't even see it, my mind was elsewhere you know?" He felt like smacking his face with his hand in embarrassment but held back.

* Y/n shifted her feet a little and glanced at the floor. "Couldn't sleep?" The words were so quiet he almost didn't catch them. He couldn't think of anything to say other than "Pretty much. You said you had some of my stuff?" She glanced up and nodded and then motioned with her hand to follow her. "Yeah I do, let's go to my office."

* Lyle walked slowly behind her in hopes that he could spend more time with her. The base was a big place and he still managed to feel claustrophobic. When you were with him it didn't feel so bad. You might not have much to say to him outside of work-related stuff but Lyle was happy with any conversation because it meant he didn't have to be alone in his thoughts.

* When you got to your office door you fumbled with your keys and dropped them. Before you could lean down Lyle had his hand on your shoulder and stooped down to pick them up for you. Your face felt hot again and he made your heart rate pick up. His big hands were slow and gentle as he placed your keys back in your hand. "I didn't want you to spill your drink. Here." You take the keys and hold them firmly this time to not let them slip through your hands. You unlock the door and walk in, making sure to remind Lyle of the height of the doorway.

* "Just watch your head okay, I don't want you to hurt yourself. The new height is going to take some getting used to." Lyle was grateful for the reminder and ducked his head carefully. He watched as you hurried around your desk and set your drink down. "So I didn't personally collect your things, if something is missing please let me know and I'll do my best to find it for you. The cleaners were under strict orders not to throw anything out."

* You placed a box on your desk and waved Lyle closer. He took a peak inside and looked over what belongings he had left behind. A couple of magazines (thankfully nothing dirty he thought as he snuck another glance at y/n). There were some clothes, his dog tags, a jar of protein powder, and his wallet. Nothing of particular importance to him now that he was in a new body. He picked up the small leather wallet and opened it to see his driver's license. His hand started to tremble and he felt his anxiety spike again.

* He was never going to be human again. He was never going to drive his car, wear his clothes, or do anything "normal" ever again. His mission was the only thing that mattered now and his breathing hitched. Y/n could only watch as Lyle's face distorted into a panicky expression.

* You weren't one to normally touch people you didn't know very well but you wanted to do something to comfort him. So you walked to his side and put your hand on his lower back and reached up with your other one to grab the wallet out of his hand. You seemed to have startled him from his trance and his arm jerked away from you involuntarily. You step back and start apologizing profusely.

* "I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" Lyle brings his hand back and grabs your hand gently. "No, you're fine... I just... Thank you for pulling me out of my thoughts again. It's just-" You grasp his hand back and interrupt him for a change. "Just going to take some getting used to. You don't have to explain yourself but I do want you to know that we have a trauma counselor available. I think it would be a good resource for you and maybe some of the others." You pause and when he doesn't reject the idea you continue quietly. " I just know that when things happen that way, it can be nice to talk to someone about it."

* You remove your other hand from his back and put it over his blue one, sandwiching him between your tiny palms. "I want you to know... I am also here. I know I keep saying it but it's just... I guess." You shake your head frustrated and unable to find the right way to word your intentions.

* Lyle throws his wallet back in the box and kneels down in front of you, his hand still entrapped in yours. He looked like he wanted to say something but he let out a rough sigh. He was also trying to figure out how to word his intentions. You fidgeted a little with his hand and he heard your breathing hitch a bit. He worried for a minute that he was holding you too tight but quickly realized it was your sudden proximity that had you nervous. Lyle backed up, but you kept ahold of his hand which he took as a sign that you didn't want him to leave.

* "Can I stay with you? I really don't want to go back to the dorms right now. You... You make me feel safe y/n and right now everything is just... Fuck." He brings his other hand up and covers his face in shame. He was so forward and sounded so much needier than he wanted to. She probably thought he was pathetic or clingy or weird or all of the above. He held his breath and waited for you to tell him to get lost. Instead, when that never came he glanced at your face.

* You looked about as anxious as he did at that moment which gave him some relief. You were undeniably happy that Lyle had come to see you again. Granted the circumstances weren't great but you were glad he was here. You couldn't get him out of your head either and you felt the incredible urge to hide your face with your hands, which at the moment were tied up with his.

* So instead you quietly mumbled, "I don't think you'd fit in my bed." Lyle let out a small laugh and covered his mouth with his hand. "I wasn't asking to sleep with you, but it's nice to know that's an option even if your bed wouldn't hold me." You pulled your bottom hand away from his and covered as much of your face as you could with your fingers. "That's not what I meant and you know it!" Lyle couldn't help but smile at how embarrassed you looked with your hand covering your pretty face.

* "Don't hide beautiful, I'm just teasing." He pulls your hand back and gives you a small kiss on your knuckles before laughing at your expression. Lyle had a feeling that as long as he had you, things would be just fine.

[non-bionical-mecha-dude]

ok i have a rottmnt request!

reader x donnie, where reader is like a yokai/mutant x human hybrid? (how does that work idk but we won’t question) maybe a dragon or a snake mutant :) can be hcs or a one-shot idm! feel free to ignore this req lol

Absolutely!!! I decided to go with a half snake! Reader, I hope you enjoy!!

(also, sorry if this is short, I wrote this in the middle of class Lol)

Donnie x Half Snake Yokai! Reader!

When he met you, he was in pure Awe

He knew Yokai and mutants who were based on animals could mingle and create some new type of Yokai species, but he never imagined the possibility of a half human half snake yokai

When you first met, he was visiting the Mystic City, with his brothers, shopping and looking around

He was staring at some sort of new Yokai technology, before he bumped into another Yokai, when he opened his eyes, he was met with some of the most beautiful yellow eyes he had seen.

You both of course apologized, but he couldn't keep his eyes off you!

Having both characteristics of a human, but also a long with a snake? It was almost exactly what he was! (Minus the snake bit)

You both were constantly peeping at one another, often times accidentally locking eyes.

Until eventually Leo had to intervene and set you two up to get each other's numbers somehow

When you both started dating, it was so much more unexpected than what he could predict

At first you were scared to kiss him, in fear you would accidentally prick him with your fangs

Sure it happened a couple times, but he found it so adorable when you would get flustered and start to apologize for it

He doesn't like PDA or much affection in general, but when you did give it and he allowed it? Oh he could melt

He often found himself running hands along the scales that littered your skin, taking in it's color and shape, he often found himself complimenting them

If you're ever insecure about being a snake yokai, he will constantly compliment you, give you sweet snake facts (that he totally didn't Google and he totally knew it before hand).

He enjoys making inventions next to you, he'll explain each individual piece and mechanism, you may not understand much of what he's saying, but he enjoys that you're atleast trying to listen (Unlike his brothers *cough* *cough)

His dad was a tiny bit anxious around you (considering snakes eat rats) but after a while and he started to become more relaxed around you

If he ever hears like a hiss, or some sort of snake noise from you, he will obsess over it, and will do everything in his power to hear it again, he just finds it adorable, and it's TOTALLY FOR SCIENCE AND RESEARCH.

If you have a little snake tail, he'll constantly try not to step on it, he's accidentally stepped on it before, many times, and each time he apologizes

If you have some sort of skin/scale routine you have to do, he'll try to help in anyway he can, taking notes on what you do, helping you if you need a little help, and later, after he does more research, he will give ideas on what to do next time, or a more effective way to do something

Constantly gives compliments about your eyes

Is kinda freaked out at first by the way your eyes dilate but later, he finds it so interesting, and he finds it even cuter when your eyes get really wide and big

Often brags about you to his brothers

He often likes to call you his evil lab assistant, because there is no way this man does not see himself as an evil genius

When he gives evil cackles, you just like to watch him cause you find it so cute

Often times you have to persuade him into going to bed cause this man is an insomniac

He finds your tongue so cool, how it's forked and how it flicks when you hiss

Often times you hiss at him when you're annoyed, but now he often tries to make you annoyed cause he finds your little hiss so cute

You are often very quiet when you walk/glide, so you always scare the everliving shit outta hit when you sneak up behind him

But he tries to play it off as if you didn't scare him

When you laugh, you make little hisses, and he is absolutely IN LOVE WITH IT, he literally melts when you laugh and often tries to do more things to get a laugh out you

Whenever you're upset because. someone, since he's not the best at communicating his emotions, he will often say "you want me to kill them? Cause I'll do it, just get me some Titanium, nuts and bolts, chlorophyll, hydrogen monoxide, and they're body won't be found *insert evil chuckle*" and usually, it cheers you up

You love your absolute dorky turtle of a boyfriend

[queeniecook]

The Grant Legacy - Generation 2 - The Second Act - Part 1

It has been four months since Este was born. It is now October and there have been some happenings in the lives of Vera, her family, friends and enemies.

The Grant-Vatore Household- Hendford-on-Bagley

Este is now four months old. Caleb has quit his job at the graveyard to be a full-time stay at home Dad. He doesn't want to miss a precious second of his little girl growing up. Vera has started back, part-time, at the Vet Clinic with Zoe Frenz handling a lot of the day to day operations. It's been a bit rough for Vera to be away from her daughter but Caleb makes sure to take Este to visit Mommy on a regular basis when Vera is at the clinic.

Josie did indeed get to meet Este. This is Josie hanging out with Este shortly before Josie crossed the rainbow bridge in her sleep at the very end of September. The whole family misses her terribly, especially Vera. She and Josie had been together for many years.

Lucky also misses her furry pal and has been feeling a bit down with no one to play with. She's grown close to Este, rarely leaving the infants side when she is home. Vera is having a hard time with the idea of finding another cat to take into their family. Caleb has suggested maybe a puppy for Lucky to play with instead. Vera is torn because she's always had a feline around since the moment she entered the world.

Otherwise, things are going well for Vera and her family. They haven't heard a peep out of James since before Este was born, which they find odd but maybe he's gotten bored and moved on?

The Grant Household - Sulani

AJ has grown into a child and it's turning out to be quite the responsible young man. Mew Mew is still his constant companion when AJ is at home, despite turning into an elder kitty. Apollo enjoys helping his son with his homework when he's not at his job as a Cog in the Machine in the Engineer career.

Naya does her best to try to help AJ with his school work as well, but she's become very busy with her career. She's made it to Ensemble Author in the Style Influencer Career. Being a bit older than Apollo, Naya feels like she only has so much time left to make her mark in the fashion industry before she's considered "washed up". It's led to a few issues between the high school sweethearts as Apollo feels Naya's career is taking up time she should be spending with her family. Naya feels Apollo don't understand her viewpoint because he's fine if he never advances in his career. He's just happy being able use his love of science at work and help provide for his family.

The Zhu/Volkov Household - Moonwood Mill

Once AJ became older, Lily decided that although she loves AJ it was time for her to return to Moonwood Mill and to her pack. She still visits AJ when she gets the chance to. She also keeps in touch with Caleb and his family, along with Lilith. They have all made progress in their relationships with one another though they may never be as close as they once all were.

Another development in Lily's life is love. She never thought it would happen at her age but Kristopher declared his love for her once she returned. She has always had feelings for him since she met him all those years ago and he helped her find who she's really meant to be. Kristopher's adopted son Jacob is thrilled that his Dad has finally found someone, especially since it's Lily, who has always been a mother figure to him. Rory, Kristopher's adopted daughter, acts like she could care less.

The Vatore Household - Forgotten Hollow

Despite Lilith's infidelity with Vladislaus Straud, Jackson has chosen to forgive his maker when he saw that she had nothing to do with the Count once Lilith came clean to him. She even went as far as to have Dakota Laws place a spell on the Vatore estate grounds so Count Straud can't step foot on the property, let alone slither into Lilith's bed. The vampire duo have reunited and are trying to make things work between them. Jackson has even started working again as a writer's assistant. He's made great strides in controlling his blood lust thanks to Lilith and his friendship with Lurch.

Lilith is glad that Jackson has forgiven her and thrilled to have not only a new niece in her life but contact with a cousin she thought was lost to her forever, Lily. Yet still there's a ache in her non beating heart that thinks of a certain pipe organ playing vampire that lives across town.

Nacho is living in the lap of luxury for him, considering he came from the streets. Lilith spoils him rotten, buying him whatever his furry little heart desires whether it's tuna fish or crab. Jackson has also started warming up more to him and Nacho enjoys the scratches the male vampire gives him when Jackson returns home from a day of work.

The Lewis Household - Brindleton Bay

August and Aubree got quite the surprise when Aubree when into labor in September.

Twins! Little Edgar Allan and Emily, named after two of Aubree's favorite poets. The couple was obviously shocked. Little Emily had hidden behind her brother everytime Aubree went to have an ultrasound done. To say the couple wasn't prepared would be a accurate statement. Caleb helped them out by rushing to buy an extra set of everything in the nursery.

August has cut down some of his hours of work as a Mailroom Technician at Landgraab Industries, while Aubree is about to return from maternity leave to her Editor in Chief job. Given they have not only the twins but their dog Thor and their cat Bette Davis to feed, they can't afford not to work. They are considering hiring a Nanny to help take care of the twins.

The Laws/Ambrose/Gates Household - Brindleton Bay

Jillian is five months along with her and Dakota's first child. Jillian still has her job at the local bookstore while Dakota has just been promoted to a Private Fourt Class in the Army. In an attempt to save some money, they approached Joey with the idea of moving into a smaller home. He agreed and so they moved across town. Joey still has his own room, which Annabel Lee has also claimed as hers while Jillian and Dakota now share a room. The third bedroom in the house has been turned into a nursery. While Jillian was scared at first to be pregnant so early in her relationship with Dakota, now she's excited. Dakota is as well, he never misses a Doctor's appointment and hopes he can make it to all of them as work allows. Their relationship is doing well and they feel it's growing stronger each day.

Dakota hasn't give up his quest to find out where in the world Thaddeus Laws is, especially now that he's going to be a father, but the trail has run cold. Dakota knows his so called Father is alive but Thaddeus certainly doesn't want to be found it seems.

Joey is now an Medical Assistant and is happy that he gets to work with Doctor Annalise Blake. Despite her being a vampire, she has a lot of medical knowledge and is a pleasant being to be around. He's grown very close to the families' cat, Annabel Lee. He swears she understands everything he's saying to her. He's always heard most cats do whatever they want but if he tells her to go eat her food or don't jump on the stove, it's hot. The cat actually listens to him.

Sadly Joey hasn't had much luck in his love life. He's gone on a few random dates here and there but none of it has turned into anything more. He's starting to wonder if he just isn't meant to be with someone.

[yuckie-obsessive]

Idea yandere septiceyes x dead Reader and all of them work together to bring back reader from the after life. And reader tries to escape all the septiceyes and all of them working together to get reader back "home"

I’ve never really considered any of the other egos other than Chase and Anti. I guess I can make some HC lists for this.

Guys, I totally went overboard on this so I really hope you enjoy xD

Note: I’m only gonna cover Anti, Chase, Henrik, Jackieboy, JJ and Marvin, respectively. The latter four being a tentative take on the yandere side of these characters. I don’t know much about their fleshed out personalities or what is widely accepted in the community. So… please be kind 😅

Back From The Dead

Gonna clean the set up a little: the egos are trying their best to bring back dead!reader, with or without help. When reader is brought back, they understandably cannot comprehend their situation. They are scared out of their mind at the reality of being revived. Each ego reacts in their own way and pursue reader to bring them “home”.

- cause of death is up to your imagination

Tw: death (obviously), obsessive/possessive behavior (yandere), implied nudity, blood, use of restraints, abuse mention, kidnapping, gaslighting, stalking, drugging, alcoholism, non-consensual medical procedure, mind control, physical possession (body control), isolation, mental breakdown, anxiety

Jacksepticeye Egos x Reader (gender neutral)

Okay let’s get into it.

~★~

Words: 4,928

Anti: possessive yandere

How he finds & feels about (y/n):

He met you through Chase, and though he was initially annoyed with yet another person to keep track of, a devilish plan formed in his mind.

A being as soft as you, so incredibly soft, would be easy to manipulate to his own wishes.

Don’t expect to have privacy ever around him after this.

Especially online.

He has immense control over all things electric, of course, and will use that to know what your habits are.

Even peeping through your phone’s camera and mic to monitor you.

He wouldn’t really call this being obsessive until he got in far too deep.

He isolates you and eventually lures you into a home he had “renovated” for his needs.

Then begins the long process of reprogramming your mind.

Though, he starts growing soft.

You are kind, no one had ever really been this kind to him before.

He doesn’t allow you to talk to the other egos anymore.

He’s not sharing you with anyone.

Hating when people mess with what’s his.

And you’ve become his most prized treasure.

All your attention belongs to him.

What happens when you die:

Denial.

You can’t be gone.

You shouldn’t have had the opportunity to encounter anything dangerous under his watchful eye.

This shouldn’t have happened.

His emotions are manic and volatile at any provocation.

Exploding and lashing out at anyone and everything that slightly inconveniences him.

You are the only thing that kept him calm.

And he’d do almost anything to bring you back.

Almost.

Would he reach out for help?:

Absolutely tf not.

He doesn’t want to be seen as weak.

Ever.

Reaching out to any other ego would be a huge hit to his own supersized pride.

You were already removed from them and he would never put you in a position to be taken away.

They would just fuck it all up anyway.

He wants to bring you back and prove to himself that he can overpower death itself.

How he would bring you back:

His range of control is vast within the online sphere.

He will quickly scan through billions of lines of text and code to search for answers.

Anti is precise in executing this plan to bring you back.

Using knowledge of human anatomy and various texts about the human consciousness, he would use a mix of both science and magic.

He is basically a demon after all.

He uses dark forces to pull you back to reality.

Wherever you ended up, he forcefully pulls you back into the waking world.

And he will ensure everything falls into place perfectly.

Reactions after he brings you back:

Your eyes flutter open and his pride is reinforced.

He can do anything, even bringing the dead back to life.

Then the rush of relief hits.

You were back with him.

He envelopes you in a tight embrace.

Possessively so.

This wasn’t going to happen again, he would make sure of it.

You’re frightened, naturally.

It’s an expected human response.

He wouldn’t be surprised.

But he’s still a little hurt when you wrestle yourself out of his hold and bolt for the door.

How do you escape?:

Oh, darling… you won’t.

This house you resided in had every inch connected to a mainframe.

He could detect every movement, controlling every working aspect from a single point.

So when you grab the handle to the front door, you shouldn’t be shocked to find it locked.

You also shouldn’t be surprised to find every exit suddenly blocked by shutters.

How he reacts to your escape:

He knows this is a terrifying process.

You just died and were revived. You must still remember the pain.

But he put in all that work and wasn’t going to let you go so easily.

No no no, he wouldn’t allow it.

Fight and reject him?

He’ll just laugh in your face.

Never admitting that it hurt him.

Everyone made his life so goddamn difficult.

He gave you affection, resurrected you and THIS is how you thank him?

Now he keeps you locked in your room 24/7.

Strapping you down to your bed, you have as much time as you need to reflect and accept how kind he’s been.

He provides you with everything you need to barely survive, of course

And watches you break down enough in order to return you to the normal life you shared.

By force.

“Do you think I want to do this? I’m NOT letting you get hurt again! You understand don’t you? I’m keeping you safe from yourself.”

Accept him?

He’ll hold you and calm you down with back rubs and sweet words of reassurance.

Treating you to all of your favorite things.

You might be treated like a porcelain doll from now on, but he does so lovingly.

The thought of going out was a long forgotten dream.

At least not without him practically glued to your side.

His form distorts and his expression shifts wildly at the idea of letting you out to get hurt again.

Though he hides it from you as best he can.

He just can’t stand the thought of letting you put yourself in ANY situation where you could get hurt.

So he’s all too happy to keep you at his side permanently.

His sweet, sweet (y/n).

You’ve already shared so much together after all.

He knows you better than you know yourself.

“I’m so glad we can be together forever. I’ll keep a better eye on you from now on, I promise… You’re my everything~”

Chase Brody: protective yandere

How he finds & feels about (y/n):

after his family had… disappeared, you became his new family.

He relied on you.

You distracted him from everything else.

You listened and were there when he would break down.

You were comforting.

You knew how to handle his depressive episodes.

He decided he wouldn’t lose you like he lost everyone else.

Understand, he has to study anyone that comes into your life.

To keep you safe.

People can take you away.

They could hurt you.

It’s why he kept you distant from the other egos.

Knowing all too well the dangers of a few notable figures…

So he asked you to move in with him- as a roommate.

He needed your stability.

You even helped him out of his alcoholism when you moved in.

He could finally see the silver lining.

What happens when you die:

Panic and denial.

Not again not again not again.

You were his everything!

He NEEDED you!

How was he going to survive when everyone in his life died before him?

He’s willing to do anything to bring you back.

Would he reach out for help?: 

Yes.

Though a little hesitant, he reaches out to Marvin first as he was seen as the most trustworthy.

Marvin suggests getting Henrik involved.

He’s nervous to ask Henrik. He’s eccentric at the best of times.

But they get him involved and start a plan to bring you back.

How he would bring you back:

They use both Marvin’s magical abilities and Henrik’s extensive medical knowledge.

Reviving your body and calling your consciousness back to the living world.

Reactions after they bring you back:

Literally crying from happiness and relief.

It didn’t seem possible.

He always held out hope though.

Your confused and frightened and at first Chase didn’t understand why.

Henrik explains how you probably remember the pain of dying.

Marvin counters that you could’ve had a metaphysical experience and you weren’t ready to return.

Regardless, you run as a result of your frightened state.

How do you escape?:

Simply running.

None of them were expecting this outcome, leaving them unprepared.

WAIT A MINUTE-

You could get hurt again!

Chase can’t go through another instance of this- it might actually break him fully he lets that happen.

How he reacts to your escape:

He’s frantic and enlists the help of the other two egos to track you down and bring you back to safety.

Reject and fight him?

He’s devastated.

His closest friend, his family, no longer wants anything to do with him?

Wait, he can change your mind!

So he stalks you.

You can’t get anywhere without him knowing.

He sends care packages of your favorite things.

Writes letters about how much he misses you and how he wants to talk.

Apologize for whatever he did wrong.

Not admitting that he started drinking again.

He moves to whatever city you relocated to.

Asks you questions about your new life.

Eventually he thinks you prefer things this way.

Okay, he can keep his distance.

But he’s never going to fully leave you.

Ever.

Until you let your guard down enough for him to take you back home.

“You know I’ll always be lookin’ out for ya. Though, it’s starting to get hard to protect you when you keep running around so much… (Y/n), can we go home now?”

If you come willingly?

Chase is still an anxious wreck, but your presence is reliably calming.

He sticks close to your side for months until he’s able to even remotely relax.

Don’t think you’ll be able to return to an independent life.

He needs to know everything you’re doing at all times.

You can hardly do anything without him over your shoulder.

He would rather spend the rest of his days glued to you rather than risk you being hurt again.

“Babe, I-I know I haven’t been the greatest person to be around. Actually I’m straight up terrible- especially for letting this happen. You’ll forgive me wont you? Please! You’re all I have left… and you know I’m always here for you right?”

Henrik Schneeplestien: controlling yandere

How he finds & feels about (y/n):

Initially a doctor/patient relationship.

Purely professional.

He gets to see you regularly.

From simple colds to mental struggles.

He wouldn’t say this to a patient, but you were the saddest little thing he’s seen in ages.

Regularly wondering how you’re clumsily drifting through life.

How were you still alive with all this misfortune?

It was amusing at first.

Then a bubbling worry began to grow.

You were always kindhearted, treating staff with high respect. 

Including himself.

If not a bit quiet and shy.

Looking at your hands anxiously or really anywhere else when discussing your issues.

God, you really were just an absolute wreck.

Was no one looking after you?

Surely someone had to be.

Right?

The tipping point was seeing you covered with various bruises during a physical.

It reminded him of the abuse victims he would occasionally encounter.

You waved them all off as not being the most coordinated at work or at home.

Making him felt anxious…

Something worse could happen.

He had to take action before you got even more hurt.

Henrik wasn’t above slowing drugging you into slowly depending on him.

So your visits became more frequent

Until you broke down in his office from the stress of this “new ailment”

You could hardly work your job and these constant visits were draining your wallet.

He was reassuring and comforting.

Everything will be much better from now on, he promised that.

Then preparing another injection of medication “to ease the pain and stress”.

It was too easy.

You fell unconscious.

As it was an impromptu visit after hours, no one was around to see him carry you off in his car.

Stealing you away from everyone else.

What happens when you die:

Stoic.

He knew someday something like this might happen.

So he already has a plan to bring you back.

He’s thought of this in advance after all.

He had a solution for every medical possibility.

You were the most important thing to him, so he needed some way to revive you should an accident like this occur.

Would he reach out for help?: 

No.

Everything is under control and an emotional ego would only get in the way.

They never met you anyway.

You essentially didn’t exist to the outside world so letting others know where you are would only bring more trouble.

How he would bring you back:

He is a medical expert.

Multiple times he has mapped your brain and nervous system.

Without your knowledge…

An invasive surgery and a large cocktail of drugs made in-house would reawaken your system.

Much time passed with this procedure.

But sure enough, you’re body awoke with a gasp and heavy coughing.

Like being born anew.

Reactions after he brings you back:

He had conditioned you at this point to feel comfort with his presence.

And is expecting you to be delighted with his god-like abilities.

But this situation was one never experienced for you.

It frightened you to your core.

Enough for you to blindly rush forward, trying to run away from the awful pain.

How do you escape?:

You run out of his makeshift operating room and out into the open.

Ripping open all the stitching from your life-giving operation.

You obviously didn’t make it far.

Warm blood rushing down your limbs.

Once the pain set in, you drop and nearly fainted from seeing so much red.

How he reacts to your escape:

Genuinely surprised to see you run off like that.

Concerned something could go wrong as you left his sight.

You needed rest.

You needed to heal.

Now you were exposing your injured self to the rot of the world.

When he finds you, he’s distraught but moves with purpose.

Coming to rescue his favorite patient.

Fight him?

He has a sedative ready.

Then carries your unconscious body back inside.

Oh how he wishes you didn’t fight.

Those legs would be a problem in the future…

Another surgery.

That pesky little problem is taken care of.

Now you wouldn’t run away.

Another surgery would fix that inner voice telling you to run.

Maybe remove some of those problematic memories too.

Working you back to that precious little darling he sculpted you into.

“Libeling, I do this out of love you see. Can you imagine what else could happen if I wasn’t here to save you?”

Accept his help?

He is more than forgiving.

Of course your emotions had overtaken logic.

The human condition is hard to predict, but he is patient with you.

He gently carries you back inside to tend to your wounds.

He is careful and every movement executed with precision.

Your gentle soul settled in an even more delicate body.

He worships your form.

While you heal, you are forbidden from moving until the stitches can be removed.

Maybe even longer…

He acts as your hands from now on.

He’s already seen everything so there was nothing to be bashful about.

He washes your body.

Cleans your teeth.

Hand feeds you.

Dresses you everyday.

You may not have independence, but he would give you anything you wanted.

As long as it had nothing to do with the outside world.

And you never had to leave his sight.

“Shatz, DON’T- please don’t get up. Let me get that for you. You could get hurt again! I’m your doctor (y/n), and I know what’s best for you.”

Jackieboy Man: paranoid yandere

How he finds & feels about (y/n):

Casually sees you in a specific part of town on this routine checks around town.

For some reason he felt a pull to you.

Making a small habit of observing you from different vantage points.

Small turned into regular occurrences.

He found where you lived.

Turning into a full blown obsession.

Needing to know everything you liked, what you did, where you worked.

He slipped up on his responsibilities to the common people.

But you became far more important in his eyes.

He enjoyed sneaking into your home undetected.

Watching you sleep…

You had never been this safe in your life.

Until you fell under his constant watch.

He introduced himself by “random chance”.

You knew of this hometown hero and were naturally excited.

It became common to “run into” him from this point.

Well, you might as well get to know each other over coffee in the mornings,

And lunches,

And dinners.

After a time, you invited him into your home.

Seems he was already comfortable, but you simply waved it off as his nonchalant attitude and usually chipper disposition.

He showed you his face.

An intense display of trust.

You were his after this.

He was paranoid someone would catch on to your relationship.

So he whisked you away to an undisclosed location.

To protect you.

His job brought too much danger to your life.

Now all those bad people can’t possibly hurt you anymore.

What happens when you die:

Guilt.

He wasn’t protective enough.

This was his fault.

He owed it to you to bring you back.

You didn’t deserve this.

You are the most precious thing in his world.

Would he reach out for help?:

As long as he trusted them enough.

Which is an extremely short list.

Marvin would team up with him on occasion so he sought his help and expertise.

How he would bring you back:

Closely supervising Marvin as he conducts his rituals.

Being caught breathing down his neck and rightfully walked back to let him work.

Jackie is just nervous to whether this will even work.

Or that he might worsen the situation more than it is now.

That changes when Marvin succeeds.

Reactions after he brings you back:

Jackie can’t believe his eyes at first.

But there you were.

Bright eyed and alive.

But… something’s wrong.

Your breathing is fast and you look panicked.

Wait- why are you running?

You can’t leave!

Not now!

Not when he just got you back!

How do you escape?:

Trying to flee into the isolated landscape.

You end up lost and more disoriented than when you woke up.

Having a panic attack when you finally tire out.

How he reacts to your escape:

Using any ability to track you down.

Nothing would stop him from finding you.

And eventually.

He does.

Seeing you distraught causes him to quickly take you into his arms.

Resist him?

Now he’s hurt.

Why did you have this sudden change of heart?

What did Marvin do to you?

He has to practically drag you back to the base.

You weren’t in your right mind.

Even if he has to restrain you, he’s going to break you out of whatever mind control you had to be under.

He excommunicates Marvin and everyone else.

“Don’t be upset! The bad man is gone now-“

Moving you to another country.

Deeply isolating the both of you.

He just can’t find the missing piece to bring you back to him.

But he’d never give up on you.

Everyday he loves you, you know he does.

And he knows somewhere deep inside, you love him back.

One day these effects will wear off and you two will be happily back in each others arms.

He just has to wait.

“Baby I know you’re in there somewhere. I’m nothing if I can’t be your hero… I will wait until the end of time for you to come back to me. I love you (y/n).”

Return to him?

He’s relieved, but nervous why you panicked in the first place.

Maybe you shouldn’t interact with anyone else from now on.

24/7 you have his attention.

On the occasion he needs more supplies, he lovingly locks you in the safest room in your home.

Where nothing can bring you harm.

Don’t worry, he always returns in quick fashion.

Knowing you shouldn’t be left alone for too long.

He’s had to essentially safety proof the entire base.

You will never again encounter anything sharp.

That means all meals are prepared by him.

Everything you do is closely monitored.

You won’t even toss in your sleep without him knowing.

Should you stray into potentially dangerous behavior?

He will make sure to correct and lead you away from it.

Sometimes a little too harshly.

He makes up for it with constant (maybe slightly overbearing) affection.

He loves to love, and will overcorrect if he thinks something he does is lacking.

But all in all he wants is you to be safe, happy and healthy.

“I’m here for you always. Don’t you ever worry about a thing. Ol’ Jackieboy is gonna keep you real safe. There’s nothing to fear when your hero is here.”

Jameson Jackson: controlling yandere

How he finds & feels about (y/n):

A random encounter that turned into regular meetings in a public space.

He was intriguing and you drew his attention.

No one ever wanted to sit with him and take the time to have a proper conversation.

He was mute after all.

But you still wanted to develop a friendship.

He started teaching you sign language.

Wonderful memories were made.

He could listen to your voice for hours.

Your laugh sent him over the edge.

You were the one.

Maybe he could rearrange a few things to get a little closer with you.

Perhaps, you encounter a few unruly individuals to seek his help and comfort.

And maybe your friends and family start avoiding you, for reasons unknown to you.

He pulled some strings to get you fired from your job.

You came crying into his arms, scared you would lose your home.

Over all stressed out of your poor little mind.

He would pick up the pieces for you.

He lets you move in to balance out the lack of income.

He likes the control he has over your life.

And in his home he has the most control.

You were caught in a web he had no intention of letting you escape from.

Everything from how you spoke to him, to how you carried yourself were molded into his ideal version of you.

He saw your true self and was helping you achieve personal perfection.

What happens when you die:

Panic and denial.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He didn’t understand how this could’ve happened.

Nothing fell out of place.

He quickly shook himself out the shocked trance and moved towards a solution.

Would he reach out for help?: 

Only as a last resort.

He’s grown clingy and the others always found him unnerving.

Not to the point of excommunication.

But enough to keep distance.

Eventually though, after many failed attempts, he reaches out to Henrik.

How he would bring you back:

The doctor make quick work in restoring your body.

Excited to practice a new experiment he had in progress

With success you wake.

Reactions after he brings you back:

If he could shout for joy he would.

All he can do is pull you into a tight hug.

Quickly shooing Henrik away, he gets ready to resume his perfect life with you.

How do you escape?:

Dashing out a window while JJ was busy dealing with Henrik.

Of course he immediately knows something went wrong when he returned

Not hearing the slightest movement from the room you were left in.

How he reacts to your escape: 

More panic-

Even more exhausting than the first time.

He just wanted things to go back to normal.

You hadn’t even made it off the property before a cascade of wires and strings halted your escape.

You couldn’t move but you could hear him approaching fast.

Struggle and fight?

He’s disappointed.

He though he taught you better.

Were you faking your affection?

This thought made him more upset.

He needed to make you see things from his perspective.

With his talent of strings he can take control of your body.

Puppeting your limbs to walk,

Conduct daily tasks,

Holding you back from fighting his affection.

You love him.

And he will show you the best way how.

(In sign) “There now (y/n), you see? You are much more suited for this kind of life. Don’t give me that look. I know what’s best and I’m going to make you perfect.”

Relax and let him take you back?

You must’ve simply misunderstood when you woke.

He still doesn’t want you running away again.

Attaching light, nearly invisible wires to your body in order to detect your movements.

So light you wouldn’t feel a thing.

He gently sways and builds you back to living in his perfect life.

Of course, he was going to be more careful.

More aware.

Sectioning off several rooms that hold objects of possible danger.

You never entered the kitchen again.

But that’s fine.

Everything is under control.

His control.

Letting you have enough distractions to miss the intricate processes behind the curtain.

(In sign) “Too many dangerous things out there for you to be toying with. How delicate and sweet you are… life is better when you can stay by my side isn't it?”

Marvin the Magnificent: clingy yandere

How he feels about (y/n):

Love at first sight.

He could feel that you two were meant to be together.

It was practically written in the stars.

He grabs your attention with flashy parlor tricks.

No need to worry about any other pests.

They were all such a bad influence.

And he couldn't stand when you gave your attention to anyone else.

He lured you in with wonder.

Finally showing you some true magic once he has you all to himself.

Sure you didn’t know where you were after that last flash.

You actually didn’t mind.

The sweet incense lacing the air was incredibly relaxing.

He showed you images beyond your wildest fantasies.

And beamed when your eyes sparkled with delight.

A captive audience.

Illusions that weaved into your subconscious.

Whispering to your mind that you were exactly where you needed to be.

That your destiny was with him.

What happens when you die:

Intense panic.

Though he is quick to start looking for a solution.

He frantically flips through pages upon pages in mystic tomes and scattered scrolls.

Trying to find that one spell.

That one incantation that will bring you back.

Would he reach out for help?: 

By all that is and ever will be, no.

The thought might’ve briefly crossed his mind, but was waved as soon as it came.

He is a Master of Magic.

His power is unmatched.

He alone would be enough to bring you back.

How he would bring you back:

Eventually landing on the sought after collection of texts listing castings and provocations… of necromancy.

Using the most rare artifacts and ingredients he could get his hands on.

He starts a multi hour ritual to retrieve your soul from the beyond.

Reactions after he brings you back:

This cast left him exhausted to his core.

Barely able to stand when he is finished.

But with fruitful results.

With a flash in your eyes, you quickly sat up.

Finally awake and lucid.

Too lucid.

His spells and influence had disappeared once you died.

Now you saw the gravity of the situation in front of you and bolted.

Him being too tired to run after, let’s you go.

You won’t get far.

How do you escape?:

You try to run.

After a while of turning random corners and dashing through long halls, you feel like you’ve traveled a far distance.

You stop for a breath.

A bright flash at your feet makes you gasp and the floor softens to consume your legs.

You’re caught up to your thighs when the floor hardens again.

Marvin rounds the corner and closes in.

How he reacts to your escape:

He’s not concerned about where your going, but your state of mind.

This domain bended to his will.

You could be running for hours and he could still pinpoint your location.

So he lets you drain your energy as he regains his.

Catching you once you had tired out.

Fight him?

Not for long.

A dizzying miasma fills the air and causes your body to feel heavy and weak.

He carries you around the corner he appeared from, back to your “home”.

With a drop in your stomach, you realize you were nowhere near freedom.

Your body refuses to move after he places you down on a table.

Silent and stoic, he moves to collect different potions and light several bundles of exotic herbs.

The air grew sweet.

Your mind focused on the alluring aroma as he began reciting a new spell.

One that would lock your mind into his influence for good.

Your own good.

Anything that existed beyond his wonderland is a long forgotten fantasy.

“This is for the best, (y/n). You won’t have to worry anymore. Sleep well, starlight, and be reborn to the life of your dreams.”

Resign to your fate?

He realizes why you fled and takes caution.

Not showing his cards fully.

You both know you can’t escape.

He wont let on that he’s aware of this.

He eases you back to the warmth of your shared home.

Calming you from the adrenaline high with some of your favorite foods.

He performs a small light trick that always delighted you.

You hardly reacted.

No, this wouldn’t do.

He wanted to reawaken the brightness of your soul that attracted him.

To reinvigorate the gravity in your aligned stars.

A slower approach perhaps.

Instead of the immediate stunning performance that brought you to his abode, he drums up a soft consistent rhythm to ease your nerves.

The halls seemed to still catch your wonder, if even a little.

Small distractions lead you away from problematic thought.

A few extra ingredients in your food would help you relax and readjust to everyday living.

His consistent calm, collected demeanor- if not a bit overbearing, did eventually convince you of your safety.

He’s always gentle towards you, after all.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad…

“Will you allow me one lifetime? I always strive to amaze, but I’ve never replicated anything close to your beauty. The show must go on, my startlight, won’t you join me in the encore?”

[gwen-pleakley]

Task 11: Intro & Connections

Name: Dr. Gwendolyn Pleakley Age: 30 Gender: Trans woman (she/her) Occupation: Ecology Professor at Redwood College Sexuality: Heterosexual Birthplace: New Jersey, USA Redwood Hollow Residency: One and a half years

FULL BIO | MUSINGS | HEADCANONS | ALL MUSES

TL;DR BIO

Gwen was born as Wendell Plummer and grew up as a golden child and science prodigy, heavily pressured by her mother to succeed in everything she did.

After her extensive education, she was hired by the US government to act as a consultant on climate change and endangered species. She was disheartened to learn that her advice was rarely taken and nobody took her seriously.

Met Mateo Jimenez (Javi Jookiba), a government scientist who was using his grant money for under the table experiments. However, he greatly valued her input and the two together continued their illicit activities.

Eventually they were discovered by the government, so they made a run for it. They changed their names to Gwen Pleakley and Javi Jookiba and are acting as a married couple who just moved to town.

While having gender feelings for a very long time, it is only through her Gwen “disguise” that she’s allowed herself to live fully as a woman, and she loves it.

Renting a room from Nani Pelekai and living in the Pelekai home as quirky roommates.

While her marriage is fake, Gwen is starting to develop real feelings for Javi and has no idea what to do with it.

PERSONALITY

Neurotic, nosy, and not-at-all high maintenance, Gwen can be a lot to be around. While friendly, she also has a tendency to talk too much, brag, and generally be annoying.

Self-righteous and always believing herself to be in the right, Gwen can go full Karen mode at any given time. She is especially protective of bugs, animals, and the environment, but can also extend to frivolous matters such as holidays and diet.

Despite all this, if you give her the time of day, she will be undyingly loyal and a very good friend. The kind who brings you food when you’re sick, drives you to the airport, and supports you in whatever way you need.

She really enjoys her job as a professor and always does her best to support her students, particularly the ones that are invested in her class.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

College professors/Students: She teaches at Redwood College and is always trying to make friends with her coworkers and help her students. She even helps Javi’s students, as he’s not as...supportive of a professor as she is.

Girl friends: Not girlfriends as in dating, but friends who are girls. Gwen is still fairly early in her transition and is desperate to connect with other women.

Gossip: Gwen is nosy af and loves gossiping about the people around town.

Farmer’s market buds: She is a vegan and frequents the farmer’s market.

Bowling buds: Gwen joined Redwood Hollow’s bowling team and although she has little skill in the sport, she is passionate and competitive. Most likely someone needs to teach her how to play.

Bug-lovers/haters: Whether you love or hate them, Gwen is passionate about bugs and wants to connect, whether to gush or to scold you.

NJ/DC Peeps: Gwen grew up in New Jersey, but went to college and spent her 20′s in Washington, DC. If your characters were in either place during those time, definitely open for connections!

WANTED PLOTS:

Holiday Rivals: Gwen prides herself on being the most spirited celebrator of holidays that she knows. She takes great care to have the best decorations for all occasions. But then...a foe?! Someone who goes even harder with their decorating? Their rivalry would shake the foundations of the town.

A Secret Revealed: One way or another, your character finds out the truth about Javi and Gwen being wanted by the government. Whatever they do with that information, whether it be blackmailing, attempting to turn them in, etc. would make for an excellent plot.

Pelekai Household Drama: Whether a mutual friend of Nani or Lilo, your character comes over to hang out but instead gets stuck dealing with Gwen as they wait for their friend to return.

Making Javi Jealous: Okay, so Gwen is fake married. But she has a real crush on Javi. She needs to hang around a man to make Javi jealous and fall for her too. Gwen will not approach your character with the intent of “cheating”, and instead just act very close. However, as time goes on, feelings become complicated and it’s a genuine messy love triangle.

Karen: You’re just trying to run your business and here comes Karen Gwen wanting to speak to the manager.

TAKEN CONNECTIONS:

Fake Husband: Javi Jookiba @javi-jookiba

Roommates: Nani Pelekai @themanagerisavampirex, Lilo Pelekai @imsorryibityoux, (unofficially) Paxton Patterson @paxtonpatterson

Friends: Fawn Weathers @fawn-weathers, Lucius Best @iceice-best

Students: Sofia Bach @sofia-bach

OTHER:

Would love a Stephen (Stitch) to complete the Pelekai household! All other Lilo and Stitch bios are wanted as well!

Could be fun to have more alien characters in the roleplay--other Lilo and Stitch experiments, the little green men from Toy Story, etc.

[darnedchild]

I watched ‘Murder Most Horny’ so you don’t have to

The year is 1946 and this is Murder Most Horny. Jasper Peacock hosts a party at his English country manor house and amongst the guest are Hollywood stars, a decorated military captain, the adopted daughter of Jasper and his wife, and the local randy vicar. As Jasper gets drunk, the cracks in his relationships become clear - even the maid has a reason to have a vendetta. So when someone stabs him in the heart, it really could have been any one of the houseguests. Inspector Harrington arrives to get to the bottom of Jasper's sticky end and finds that all the guests have more than one reason to feel guilty.

Let me start by saying that I did not just randomly decide to force my husband to watch murder mystery porn with me for funsies.  We did it for science.

Also because I fell down an IMDB/wiki rabbit hole while talking about the existence of a Sherlock themed porn parody with my fellow Sherlolly peeps on Discord and ‘Murder Most Horny’ was the end result.

Originally I was going to live blog this masterpiece to my fellow Discordians but things happened and I ended up handwriting my multiple pages of notes at two in the morning instead.  Rather than spamming the channel, I’m just going to compile the highlights here for everyone who foolishly clicks on the ‘Keep Reading’ to enjoy.  

Now on to ‘Murder Most Horny’... 

1) We open with the silhouette of a very Downton Abbey-ish looking home covered in a night-time photoshop filter from the late ‘90s.

Peacock Manor 1946

2)  Oh, we’re jumping right to the smut, no warning or anything.  Okay.  So we’ve got a maid and the butler going at it in a hall.  But wait, that’s not the butler. 

That’s the Man of the House - Jasper Peacock.  Already, I can tell he’s a douche canoe.

Cecilia the Maid reminds her boss that she’s got a job to do and, you know, they’re in the middle of the hall where anybody could see them.  She obviously would prefer to be anywhere but there, with anyone but Peacock.

Peacock threatens to fire her for not sleeping with him.  Potential Motive?

3) Peacock joins the others - a Filmmaker and Starlet, a Captain, a Vicar, the Stepdaughter (who I feel the need to stress is an adult), Mrs Peacock, and the actual Butler - in the drawing room.  Am I going to end up having to use those titles so I can remember who everyone is?  Yes, I am. 

The Captain is telling the Starlet and Filmmaker all about the one time he single highhandedly fought off some Nazis.  Starlet suggests the Captain can be a consultant on the new movie.

Peacock is very drunk, disheveled, and belligerent.  Douche canoe.

They’re all attempting to do their best period British accents by clenching their teeth really hard when they talk.  It’s very distracting. 

You know what else is distracting?  I’m pretty sure this shooting location is a commercial property because there is one of those metal strike plate/automatic door closer things on the door to keep it from slamming shut.

Peacock implies the Vicar has a thing for young ladies.  Potential Motive?

Everyone leaves, which annoys that adorable drunkard Peacock.  Mrs Peacock suggests they all left because Peacock is a jerk.  She is probably not wrong.

4) Cecilia the Maid approaches Peacock in the hall, again. 

It’s a very popular hall.  Possibly the only one they have permission to film in? 

Cecilia is willing to do anything to keep her job.  Obviously this means kitchen sex. 

The camera is very careful to focus on only the one corner of the kitchen.  I wonder if that’s because of the light set-up.  When you don’t care about the smut, you might start to wonder about things like lighting and set design.  Do you think they really had under cabinet recessed lighting in 1946?

Ever wondered what Darth Vader talking dirty would sound like?  I didn’t.  But I’m pretty sure it would sound exactly like Jasper Peacock trying to be hot during this smut scene that will never end. 

Best/worst dialogue ever, “You’re a thoroughbred filly.”  Because she’s sitting on his lap?  I don’t know.  I didn’t write this stuff.

In the middle of all this... action... we briefly cut to an older guy standing outside the window, like a creeper, watching Peacock and Cecilia do their thing, like a creeper.  Is that the Butler?  I’m going to assume that’s the Butler, even though I paid absolutely no attention to his face in the group scene earlier.

I have never seen someone look so utterly bored as Cecilia looks right now. 

I was wrong, the best/worst dialogue is actually, “Oh yes, get ready to take your Master’s seed.”

Thankfully, the smuttening ends and Peacock wanders off to do whatever douche canoe thing he’s going to do next.

5) Suddenly, there is an off screen ‘wharglebargle’ scream from the hall and Jasper Peacock is no more.

Murder!  Finally!

6) Time jump forward to Inspector Harrington trying to get to the bottom of Peacock’s murder. 

He’s gathered everyone in the drawing room to ask his questions. 

As the last person to see Peacock alive, Cecilia the Maid goes first.  She says Captain Trevor Mustard and the Starlet Lauren Day were standing over the body by the time she finished getting herself together and entered the hall.

7) Captain Trevor tells the Inspector that Filmmaker Jack Hamilton - an action star whose latest movie is being financed by Peacock - had spoken to Peacock in private and returned very upset.

8) Flashback - In his room, Captain Trevor reminisces with Mary the Maid (who is different from Cecilia the Maid) about the good old days when Peacock got stinking drunk and tried to fall off the roof or something equally stupid and dangerous.  Trevor says he’s going to check on Peacock.  He gets distracted by Starlet Lauren in the hall and they agree to look for Peacock together.  He’s not difficult to find as they overhear him committing dozens of health violations through the kitchen door. 

Please lord, do not make us listen to the entirety of Darth Vader getting his groove on again.

Thankfully, they creep into the nearest room to defile a couch.  It’s a really nice-looking couch.  Red with a tasteful cream/white floral pattern. 

My husband just pointed out that our cat makes the same noises the actress is making right before she throws up a furball.  The cat, not the actress.  I’m assuming.

I question the historical accuracy of Starlet Lauren’s nether region piercings, but my husband suggests I google it.  The wiki rabbit hole says it’s possible, so I stand corrected.

My husband also reminds me that the remote means we can fast forward through the boring bits (smut).  He’s a very smart man.

Coincidentally, Starlet Lauren and Captain Trevor reach their big finish just seconds before Peacock issues his completely realistic death cry.

9) Inspector Harrington asks Filmmaker Jack Hamilton what he’d been talking to Peacock about that upset him so.  Yes, Jack, we’re all dying to know.

10) Flashback - Peacock drags Filmmaker Jack into the hall to tell him that he’s changed his mind and will no longer be funding the movie.  Jack tries to remind Peacock of their old friendship.  Peacock does not have time for that nonsense and threatens to expose Jack’s past working in gay porn to all his action hero adoring lady fans.  Potential Motive? 

Jack grabs a butter knife - A BUTTER KNIFE - off a nearby hall table (wtf?) and is about two seconds away from stabbing Peacock in the back when Peacock storms into the dining room... and finds the Vicar and Stepdaughter Stephanie Scarlett. 

11) Flashback - Filmmaker Jack hears Peacock threaten the Vicar’s position in the church for being inappropriate with his Stepdaughter.  Potential motive?  Again?

I honestly have no clue what was going on, but my best guess is that the Vicar was attempting to either bless or exorcise demons from Stepdaughter Stephanie’s breasts.

12) Flashback - Filmmaker Jack also overhears Peacock threaten to cut Stepdaughter Stephanie from the will because she’s slept with EVERYONE ELSE they know (you go, girl) but not him.  Peacock shuts the door in Jack’s face and Jack leaves because he’s not a creeper.  Unlike certain older men who may or may not have been the Butler.

13) Flashback - Stepdaughter Stephanie agrees to have sex with Peacock in exchange for staying in the will.  Peacock tells her to “Call me Daddy”.  I do not know if she actually does because I remembered the fast forward button.  I’m just assuming any dialogue while they are naked is not going to further the plot.  

Post extremely repetitive sex, she asks Peacock not to tell anyone.  He assures her that he fully plans to tell anyone and everyone.  Potential motive?

14)  Filmmaker Jack tells Inspector Harrington that he briefly spoke to Starlet Lauren (before she hooked up with Captain Trevor, just so we’re all following the same timeline) about losing the funding and then went for a walk outside.  While outside, he saw the Vicar looking shifty through a window.  Later on, when they all gathered around the dead body, he saw that the Vicar had blood all over his hands.  

I would have thought that might be an important detail to mention earlier, but what do I know?

15) The Vicar tells the room at large – and the Inspector specifically - that he has sinned, but it wasn’t murder. 

I feel as if something vaguely important to this character’s development ended up on the cutting room floor.  Are we missing a flashback or something?

16) Out of nowhere, Inspector Harrington suddenly asks the Butler why he was in Mrs Peacock’s room. 

The Butler drops his stuffy teeth-clenched accent and tells everyone he’s been having an affair with the Lady of the House.  He makes that creepy ‘fava beans and a nice chianti’ Hannibal Lecter slurping noise and says Mrs Peacock is a tease.

Eww.

17) Flashback - We’re back to the group scene in the drawing room from earlier, only this time Mrs Peacock has her hand behind her back, holding on to the Butler’s bits like they do this every day, while they have a casual conversation about the wine.  I did not need to see that.  I did NOT need to see that.

Does anyone in this film wear underpants?  Flies open, tallywhackers hanging out at the drop of a hat.  Isn’t anyone afraid they’re going to get something stuck in a zipper?

Mrs Peacock and the Butler sneak off for the shortest PG13 “sex scene” in porn history.  No nudity this time.  Thank you, lord.

Mary the Maid (who is still not Cecilia) creeps out of hiding just as Mrs Peacock coyly scoots back upstairs.  Mary apologizes for witnessing That Which Should Remain Unseen. 

The Butler says it’s alright.  Don’t worry.  It’s not their (the servants?) fault, the rich people are just insatiable. 

What?

18) Flashback – Mrs Peacock and the Butler have both returned to the drawing room in time for drunk and disheveled Peacock to arrive and everyone else leave.

Quick timeline recap – At this point Peacock has encountered Cecilia the Maid in the hall for the first time (but not the second), revoked funding from Filmmaker Jack, threatened the Vicar for getting up close and personal with Stepdaugher Stephanie, blackmailed Stephanie, and accused the Vicar of being into young ladies (he was probably talking about Stephanie – who, I must stress again – is an adult because that would be an entirely different level of eww if she wasn’t) and returned to the drawing room to exchange barbs with his wife.  

Filmmaker Jack has not told Starlet Lauren about the money, and she has not dragged Captain Trevor downstairs for naked times.

19) Flashback - Mrs Peacock and the Butler retire to her room for their nightly shenanigans.  Mary the Maid knocks on the door to bring something to Mrs Peacock, who is standing around topless with her Butler as rich women in porn often do.  I’m assuming. 

Behind Mary is the Vicar, hanging around in the hall, peeping through the slowly closing door.  The Vicar has joined the creeper club.

I think I just figured out the Vicar’s pervy sin, maybe he’s a voyeur.  Still doesn’t explain the blood on the hands thing Filmmaker Jack mentioned.

Mrs Peacock asks the Butler what he thinks about Mary and he says, “She’s hiding something under her clothes.”  What?  I mean... what?

Anyway, they make her get naked in a thinly veiled excuse for the requisite lesbian scene.

20) Flashback - At some point - I don’t know when because I was heavily relying on the fast forward button during all smut ever since Starlet Lauren and Captain Trevor tried to ruin a perfectly good sofa - the Butler left Mrs Peacock and Mary the Maid to do their thing.  Did he see the Vicar still lurking about outside the door when he left, or had the Vicar given up and gone to look for something else to feel guilty about?  Who knows?  Not me, that’s for sure. 

This is the point where the Butler was wandering around outside earlier (Why is everyone outside?) and saw Peacock and Cecilia the Maid doing things in places that are going to require the real commercial property owners to thoroughly bleach before they cater any special events.

Then Peacock disappeared into the hall and dies.  Yay.

21) Flashback - Upstairs, Mrs Peacock and Mary the Maid finish their tryst just in time to hear... you guessed it... the cry of the dying Peacock.

22)  At this point, I had to pause the movie to have a serious discussion with my husband.  Assuming no one is lying about seeing or being with someone else at the exact time of the murder, we’ve only got three suspects left.  Filmmaker Jack, the Vicar, and Stepdaughter Stephanie.  All three have a motive. 

Possibly, we are thinking about this too hard.

23)  Back to the investigation.  The Butler tells Inspector Harrington that Peacock was an idiot and probably killed himself.

24)  Oh.  Oh no.  They wouldn’t.  They absolutely would not.

25)  They do. 

Constable Hobbs, who has been kneeling next to a dead Jasper Peacock for most of this movie even though I never mentioned him before, has been doing the saddest impression of someone from CSI 1946.  I don’t think he’s uttered a single line of dialogue in this entire movie.  Until now.

He’s been dusting for finger prints (on what?) and... dun dun DUNNN... they belong to Peacock, himself.

Again, what?

26)  The stupidest death EVER is explained – Here’s what happened.

Peacock finishes his kinky Darth Vader kitchen moment and gets a little peckish.  He grabs a piece of bread, a butter knife, and a bit of butter as he leaves.  In a drunken accident, he falls while attempting to walk and butter bread at the same time.  He falls, stabbing himself in the heart with the butter knife, and dies.  With a butter knife.

No, I will not let that go.

BUTTER. KNIFE.

27)  The cops know this because they find a slice of buttered bread laying under the body. 

Accidental death.  Mystery solved.  Show's over.  Pack it up, everybody, it’s time to go home.

And the cops leave.

28)  But wait, there’s more!

Once the cops leave, Filmmaker Jack turns to the others and says, “Do you think he suspects anything?”

Or something like that, I missed the exact words because I was still bitterly mumbling about death by butter knife.

29) The ‘Clue’ ending - But here’s what REALLY happened.

Everything the others told Inspector Harrington was true up until the final moments between Cecilia the Maid and Peacock in the kitchen. 

Douche Canoe Peacock tells Cecilia he’s going to fire her anyway and leaves the kitchen.  In a rage, she grabs a paring knife (THANK YOU) and stabs Peacock.  She’s still leaning over Peacock, red handed, when everyone else rushes into the hall.

Mrs Peacock and the Butler, knowing a good thing when it falls dead onto the floor, make silent eye contact and nod at each other. 

The Butler comforts the maid and tells her everything will be alright.  Presumably, everyone else is on board with this.

Everyone scatters to prepare their stories and the Butler stages the most ridiculous accidental death scene ever, then calls the police.

The end.

For real this time.

30)  After discussing it with my husband, we give the plot of ‘Murder Most Horny’ a 6/10.  There is a mystery to follow.  We did spend more than a few minutes trying to figure out who did it. 

We gave the porn 2/10.  My husband said you shouldn’t be reminded of that scene from ‘Family Guy’ when the dad rolls around hissing because he’d gotten hurt while you’re watching people have sex.  I said that while OG Star Wars has not been completely ruined for me, it has been tainted. 

I also deducted a point for the geriatric winky I had to see because I wasn’t fast enough with the remote.  Nothing wrong with senior citizens having a sex life, but that’s a specific niche of smut that I did not sign up for at this particular stage of my life.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I've been enjoying a long bout of complete sobriety since late May. Breaking out of any routine can be a bit behaviorally jarring. But I don't really know that anyone noticed the change because I keep to myself. I'm sure the dispensary misses the chance to set up revolutionary actions behind my back. But for the most part, dealing with the personal pizza of the political around my own home is psychedelic enough for me these days. With Bastille Day in full swing, I got to thinking this morning about Derrida and consequentially the remake of the outer limits. The writing in that show is perplexing enough to wake up to the subtitles in the middle of the night. But one particularly episode where a poltergeist is loose in someone's home is questioned by the male friend. "Have you heard of Occam's Razor?" You'd swear he was about to mansplain Roko's Basilisk. But it's something I've needed to hear lately. Basically that the simplest of theories is the most logical in a realm of competing conspiracies. Derrida explains this in the concept of ghosts as simple being a symptom of the future. Whereas the nostalgia of the past movements, holidays, and systems tend to be firmly rooted there. Sventlana Boym describes this pretty well in a book called The Future of Nostalgia in which she describes the hyper reality going on around people during the collapse of the Soviet Union. Ghosts to me have spoken louder than the drama around me. One quote more than many by Gil Scott Heron echoed by the late DJ Rashad building off the revolution not being televised. Nobody ever sees the revolution in your mind. And this speaks to me as the future in terms of Derrida. How the individual freedom of the mind and soul is somehow lost upon the order of the past. The future is always chaotic. Always in flux. Some Scientologists come up with complex science fiction mythologies to root it back in the past with timelines and infinite versions of the self. Some Hindus and Buddhists describe the ego death and the inescapable binding of karma. Neo Marxists tie themselves to a book by a bearded guy who wrote about labor before the internet. Jesus, ironically, outside the tenets of religion is the ultimate ghost and was punished quite famously for it.

My point is not to berate the freedom of belief and religion but simply talk about the fear of a future tied to individuals. What I took freedom in America to be was the right to personal liberties, life and pursuit of happiness as protected by the constitution itself. Which seems to have been infinity stoned out of relevance by money, greed, and lawyers. Speaking on Rashad who I shared a tangential group relationship with post humorously in a Chicago footwork crew called teak dj's? Rashad was a community organizer. He was a movement maker. He was effortless and tireless in pushing forward a sound that would take him all around the world with the help of a movement that was rooted in the decaying paradigm of MK Ultra EDM festival culture. Something that grew like a cancer from the drug scenes of the Rainbow gathering and Grateful Dead. When he had a falling out with this, he dropped out of the music scene for a spell and created a renegade crew with Traxman which was a combination of Ghetto Technicians and Ghetto DJ's (pardon the proper spelling.) It really was just him and Traxman continuing another movement called "gutter" in which people just went in the studio in one take and made music. Just like the blues, white people came around and commodified something that was simply an individual expression. And thus like Kurt Kobain, Lil Peep, Van Gogh and many other individual tours de force they were stapled back in the ridigity of the broader movement as martyrs. Enshrined for all eternity as a voice that either rattled the chains on the walls of EDM or inside the minds of those still deconstructing what he was trying to say rhythmically personally. It's a tempting thing to want to be a part of something. To have clear rules, validation and order to what you do. But you will always ultimately feel failed by the middling out of a group and their broader agenda. Sort of like how Adam Curtis describes the failure of the occupy movements. The passion was so fierce at first but descended into nothing but an organizational chart and discourse battle of what was acceptable. Labor has this same feeling lately. A constant argument on enshrining the moment into history and burying it altogether. Accepting yourself as an artist, a writer, or even just a human being outside of the norms of society is hard enough. Especially when everything seems to adopt the army mentality of beating your individuality out of you to make you work as a cohesive unit.

Emotionally speaking, Anarchy is a haunting in and of itself. One that maybe I sought out ordering within by the ritual of psychedelics like thc. It dulled my dreams to the point where I never had any nightmares. Never any lucidity. Never had any visions other than these four walls that I banged around in. Individualism is a haunted state in and of itself. People are always trying to exorcise this spirit out of you for the greater good. Demonizing what doesn't fit in or can be easily pigeonholed into a movement. These movements are no more than folders for people on Tumblr. A way to organize the chaos of the future. To box it in instead of embracing the chaos within the self. I'm not saying it isn't torture to suffer alone. To be your own person and worship in your own way. To not have an organization to be affiliated with economically so you can incur income in a normal way. Everything is locked out to the individual in American society and demonized as selfish and narcissistic in a masked class war. I shouldn't be able to write here even though I do not get paid or tipped for any of it. While Andrew Tate is out there making twenty k from a billionaire who bought a platform to bury his affiliation with a sex trafficker. What makes me so free of sin? The ghost of Jesus Christ I guess? I'm not part of a church but I was raised Christian for what it is worth. Jesus to me was the ultimate anarchist. More so than the guy who tacked the blog post on the Catholic church's door for the record. You always have these people who ask you on the street the question whether you have accepted this guy as your personal lord and savior. And in the haunted sort of way you should be able to say yes and go about your day. But in America like every other movement, relationship and association there are things expected of you. And this is not personal freedom. It isn't respect. It's the constant confrontation of a graveyard. People want to reduce you to a monument that they can add to their collection rather than a ghost who walks free saying hi to forever. There is somehow something sinful about being free. No man is free from sin they say. And yet the paradox of Jesus as a ghost is pretty simple if you believe that sort of thing. I'm not here to lecture anybody out there about the past or even their personal beliefs on religion. I'm trying to live in the future and haunted by it consistently. The only holiday I'm celebrating is canceling my adobe subscription. I'm the same person I was with less baggage and this includes people speaking for my mind without giving me a voice. I've always said what I feel here. And I've always spoken it with love. Now you should ask the group if you are allowed to do the same. <3 Tim

[babynerdperson]

7 Relationship Red Flags to Look out For

A love of food brought Sara Barnes and Danny Walker together and continues to unite them. It isn't that Allen had run out of ideas by 1979 because he's made some successful films since then -- "Hollywood Ending" and "Broadway Danny Rose", for instance. Out with the old, and in with the new guy! נערות ליווי בראשון לציון The guy should ask the girl's father. Some stories say that Easter eggs became popular in the 13th century because eggs were not allowed during Lenten season. Excommunicate the hell out them, I say! The only way to find out which one it is, is to take this quiz! Take this quiz to see how much you know about the modern and ancient history surrounding this sacred holiday -- and chocolate bunnies. Take our quiz to see how much you remember about the Winslow family and their unforgettable neighbor! To celebrate the end of Lent, people would decorate eggs and give them to their friends and family. A single piece of artwork, a family photograph or a vase of fresh flowers would all complement this look.

WTA career finals (3 doubles), ITF Circuit finals (2 Singles and 5 Doubles), Junior Grand Slam finals (2 doubles), and ITF Junior finals are some of the tournaments she has won (as a single and double) (2 singles and 9 doubles). Do I need to remain single for my kids' sake? Kids compete to roll eggs across the lawn to win prizes. The Easter egg roll takes place on the lawn of the White House on the Monday after Easter. Orthodox Christians consult the Julian calendar, and their holiday usually takes place a week or two after most Western celebrations that follow the Gregorian calendar. Halloween boast the biggest sales of holiday candy, but Easter comes in second place. Easter is called a moveable feast because the date of the holiday is different every year. However, a date range of 1σ represents only a 68% confidence level, so the true age of the object being measured may lie outside the range of dates quoted. After Steve breaks an ornament that Laura planned to give as a gift, she is furious with her neighbor -- until her guardian angel Tyrone appears and teaches her the true meaning of Christmas. He also admonished that true religion must conform to the conclusions of science.

For example, your partner might say, “why don’t you stay home tonight; I’m going to miss you so much! Steven's parents move to Russia in the Season 6 finale, leaving Steve at home alone until Carl agrees to let him live with the Winslows. This is why the Lenten season is one of reflection and penance -- observers usually give up a vice for 40 days. On a trip to Disney World in Season 6, Stefan proposes to Laura. Things go wrong for the couple when Laura messes with the transformation machine to keep Stefan from turning back into Steve. Jelly beans were linked with Easter in the 1930s, though the Jelly Belly company claims the treat's history goes back to Biblical times when Middle Easterners enjoyed a treat called Turkish delight. Though the Just Born company has been creating candy since it was founded in 1923 by Sam Born, the yellow marshmallow chicks known at Peeps weren’t born until the 1950s. Peeps are most popular at Easter, and each Easter season, enough Peeps are sold to span the Earth’s circumference more than once. Eventually Americans started molding it into an egg shape and gave it a hard shell (and lots of other flavors), thus creating the modern jelly bean.

Eventually the public started showing up to see the display, and thus a parade was born. When did Just Born create Peeps? Though we maintain that Peeps are for everybody, Easter and Passover traditionally share the tasty treat of hardboiled eggs. There are as many roots and traditions attached to Easter as there are Peeps sold every year. Much like the Christmas tradition, some kids leave carrots for the Easter Bunny to help him refuel after hopping across the world in one day. Though just being invited to the White House seems like a prize in itself! A 2004 poll found that more than two thirds of Canadians favoured Democrat John Kerry over Bush in the 2004 presidential election, with Bush's lowest approval ratings in Canada being in the province of Quebec where just 11% of the population supported him. When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own.

[acellari]

[blog one] introduction

greetings, tumblr peeps and the blogging community! before i start introducing myself, i suggest listening to this lofi playlist i have come to love as you read the details that shapes me into who and what i am today!

have yourself a cup of coffee and enjoy!

hey! i'm ace, a very passionate, curious, and bubbly senior high school student who is currently taking a strand called humanities and social sciences. my preferred pronouns are she/her and they/them. furthermore, my mbti type is intp and my zodiac sign is virgo. i was born in the year of the dog, which gives me some lovely dog personality traits, like honest, prudent, loyal, reliable, considerate, understanding, patient, and sincere. just like a dog, i am always ready to help others, especially the people i love!

i enjoy doing a lot of things during my free time. here's a few:

reading (stories, mangas, novels, prose, alternate universe, fiction, romance, thriller, action, and more)

writing (alternate universe, prose, essays, journals, and writing in general)

playing instruments (guitar, drums, ukulele, tambourine, beatbox, and other available instruments nearby)

eating and drinking (most likely sweets and sour foods and drinks)

watching (movies, anime, k-drama, entertainment videos, series, documentary, study youtubers, asmr/mukbang videos, etc)

listening to music (various genres such as indie, pop, and rnb)

playing mobile games (codm, roblox, etc)

playing with our pets (cats and dogs)

hanging out with my friends (online and in person)

scrolling through social media (facebook, instagram, pinterest, youtube, twitter, etc)

editing (manipulation pictures, filters, and more)

dancing (hiphop)

taking pictures (with friends, portraits, and landscapes)

as i've previously mentioned, i am a senior high school student - a grade 11, to be exact. i have been a consistent honor student since i was in elementary school and i have joined a lot of dancing and writing contests as i grew up. i play sports and sing sometimes but i'm not good at it so i never really joined competitions for them. i also used to love biking in my previous location or home because the road was empty oftentimes. in addition to that, i also love going to beaches and adventures, especially the ones that comes with a great view.

as a learning and growing student, i can see myself following my passion, and as of now, i want to be a lawyer or a journalist. all i know is that, in the future, i will be following the dreams that i wish to achieve. most importantly, i will be following what my heart wants to follow. this way, i will live my life and spend the time that i have in this world fulfilled and happy.

personally, i think my learning in our university is vital as it plays an important role in offering the knowledge and skills that i will have to use in the future, specifically for the course that i plan to take as well as for the job that i plan to work at. so far, i can see that our school teaches us the moral values and the lessons that is and will be significant for my improvement as well as my development as a servant of the people in the future.

thus far, i think i have chosen the right and the best strand for myself. i love to write and talk about politics, social issues, and further relevant topics - and humss offers just the right amount of knowledge that i am very interested and passionate at. in addition, it talks about the right topics that my future job will tackle as well as the subjects that would be useful for me in the future.

as i've previously stated, i want to be a lawyer or a journalist that speaks up and helps the poor and the marginalized. i want to be someone that the underprivileged can rely on to have confidence in their voices and defend themselves when needed. i want to be someone that serves the same people that have served and will continue to serve me - my fellow filipinos and my country.

[ja0-s-blank-canvas-fic]

Part 3 - Chapter 2 - Mr. Fixit

Blank Canvas Part 3

AO3 - here

Fanfiction.net - here

Let's get those one-on-one sessions going! Izuku had got a lot of students to talk to starting with the most urgent cases. At least I think so. Enjoy the double update! :D

Linktree to all the things!    

End notes for the chapter are under the line.  

Kaminari and Yaoyorozu are our first up! For Kaminari specifically I am not a science person as in I don't know of things actually work. More going off what I could google and attempted to make sense of. So if the science is off, I'm sorry. ^_____^; For Yaoyorozu, I took inspiration from other people's redesigns and picked elements that I liked. So not entirely my designs but changed and incorporated together much like this fic. You can see her new costumer here! Also again thank you to those who gave quirk/costume advice. ;)

And yes, I so called Aizawa out for not addressing Kaminari's overloading tendencies. You would think a competent teacher like that wouldn't allow it. He got after canon Midoriya for breaking bones and being useless. Why not Kaminari and him short-circuiting himself?

Now not everyone is going to get an entire conversation with their sessions. Certain ones do have that but not all. You'll see as we go forward. But everyone in 1-A and 1-B has some form of suggested improvement. There were some characters that I struggled finding something and had to play around with, but I got there eventually. One of the many reasons I needed to go on hiatus which really helped me think through them. So I hope you like them! :)

In story he has a month to get through them all so the sessions will be 'spread out' technically. Giving Izuku time to also train and study for the exams as well like we saw here. The Quirkless training is an idea I really like and realistically it should have been where they started to then build up to fighting with quirks. But it is fiction so you can do whatever you want really. -shrugs-

That's all for this update and I hope you enjoyed that it was a double! Updates will be every two weeks on Tuesdays unless something comes up. Because you know, life happens and whatnot. Thanks so much for your patience and your readership. You peeps are awesome and I appreciate each and every one of you. Stay safe out there! Tata for now!

[susanfile1]

The Enterprise Of Dog Training Collars

To show your pet the place your invisible gate is, take the receiver collar off, put your pet on its leash, and stroll your pet through the invisible gate. Your pet will quickly study that when the receiver collar is on, the invisible gate is shut. Ultimately, sport dog collar will lead the hunter to the animal by utilizing its physique to level toward the prey. The query is, does utilizing a canine present an unfair advantage? Learn more about The advantages Of Using Burberry Dog Collar. And the way in which you prepare your canine is necessary, too. They normally include a set of directions about how to make use of them so you possibly can effectively practice your canine to not bark. However, many pet homeowners are reluctant to make use of them because they're afraid that they could damage their pets. Some would say that distant dog training collars damage our beloved pets. An underground fence keeps your pet in but will not keep different pets out. Many neighborhoods or subdivisions that prohibit the usage of conventional fences agree to underground or wireless pet fences because the methods don't alter the appearance of the neighborhood in any manner. Barking is maybe the best method for canines to communicate with their house owners.

To the latter, trying to find sport with canine is inhumane. Searching with canines can help a hunter efficiently bag an overpopulated animal. Weigh 35 grams that may match on dogs weighing 9 lbs. Check out the subsequent web page to see which breeds of canine make the perfect hunters. Three pheasant hunters with dogs on dirt highway, in eastern Washington. The Petrainer Shock Collar is the most effective shock collar for searching canine for the money because it offers you one hundred stimulation levels and three coaching modes: vibration, shock, and beep. Test the receiver usually to be sure that the battery is functioning or just exchange the battery on a strict schedule (while most underground pet fence firms suggest that you just replace the battery each three months, some will ship you replacement batteries at some fastened interval when you've got their fence system!). As an illustration, a dog that barks so much could have a “stricter” setting whereas a canine that has realized could have a extra lenient setting. Q. How do I do know which setting to use? Imagine it needs to be their right to make use of canine. Dogs evolved from wolves, right?

Over time, dog lovers from throughout have been thinking and finding out new methods to create products that their dogs would enjoy. Many hunters choose to hunt by the principles of honest chase hunting, which states that sportsmen should by no means have an unfair advantage over the animals they pursue. Driving: A gaggle of hunters will deliberately make noise in hopes of scaring their recreation and forcing it out into the open. Stalking: Hunters track down an animal that they can see however is just too far away for a clear shot. At a young age, they can choose up multiple tips shortly, simply as youngsters learns probably the most in their first five years of life. We must always begin by taking a take a look at how canines started hunting in the first place. Setters obtained their identify from their affected person method of hunting. Stand looking: Dogs aren't as useful in stand looking (a standard methodology of deer hunting), by which the hunter picks a location and waits there for animals to expose themselves. Then we'll transfer into what breeds are greatest for hunting. It features three protected and very efficient coaching modes like beep, vibration, and shock these are very efficient to show your dog all basic obedience commands and cut back their excessive behavior issues.

You don’t need to offer your dog a nasty, debilitating shock every time they make a peep. That canine simply understands that no matter it’s executed, I don’t like it, and that’s why it’s received the jolt. Combining these two applied sciences provided fowl canine trainers and handlers a stage of control and security not seen before. So as to practice and management your canine and its unwanted habits on can use a remote canine coaching collar. From these five breeds, man began to look for particular traits in canines and use them for different needs. That is when breeding started. The number of dog species started to grow. You probably have a feminine dog or if other dogs in your neighborhood roam free and wish to fight, an underground fence is probably not for you. It is necessary that you perceive that after you install (or have an expert install) an underground pet fence, there's occasional upkeep required in your part.

[thewobblypigeonstorybooks]

Erm, Random

This is a new kind of post, and I didn't think I would do this here, but I am so here we go.

Are you like me, insane enough to use Microsoft Edge, well if you are you will know of the news page you get as you open a new tab. The articles are a mixed bag of genuine articles of film, current affairs, sciences and (my favourite) Formula 1!

But sometimes you will get a nugget of joy, something that makes no sense, even for someone like me. Let me enlighten you...

This news article, honestly... I didn't even open the page to know I needed to share this with the world. SEAGULLS... SPIES... Honestly my brain is melting and I am taking you all on this adventure with me!

Clicking the link you are greeted by a video, 61 whole seconds of your life you will need to invest for this one! 61 seconds! Think of all the things you could have done for those 61 seconds you are never going to get back because you clicked on this link. Well guess what. I CLICKED THE LINK! I went there and we are going to see what it says so you don't have to!

So this is from (as it says in the image) BANG Showbiz (who I can't say I am well versed in) who have posted this video, just to remind you that is 61 seconds long, that is going to explain how seagulls are somehow possibly connected with alien spies. Remember peeps, 61 seconds!

It is your typical video PowerPoint, where there is some stock video, in this case (if you can believe it) of seagulls and aliens with some text written in the bottom of the frame, so for the ease of writing this I am going to extract only what I feel is the important parts of this 61 second video and do this thing.

"SEAGULLS ARE FEARED TO BE ALIEN SPIES COLLECTING INFORMATION ABOUT THE HUMAN RACE" Let me just go get my foil hat. This is one of the first things that comes up around the 8-second mark (53 seconds to the end). After which we are given information about a UFO expert warning "culling the birds could start an 'interstellar war' as aliens could have hacked into the gulls".

Okay, what doesn't come across well in writing this is my emotion, I get that, you are reading words on a screen, what you are not seeing is my face of utter wonderment and amazement by this article. Now breathe Pigeon, and let's get through this.

At the 26-second mark we are greeted by a quote from Nick Pope. For those who don't know Nick, he is a bit of a celebrity in the field of aliens and UFOs with an interesting job history. Nick was once employed by the MoD, yes the Ministry of Defence, and was basically a real life Fox Mulder, but more British. Now I am paraphrasing here, but he explains "IF" (and that is the most important thing here, the word "if"). "If aliens want to hack into and control a living organism... it would be best to choose something ordinary and ubiquitous like a seagull".

So, while on this journey of discovery, I used our good friend Google and searched, literally, "nick pope ufo seagulls" and yes you will find articles on this. Now, I am not saying they are articles from say newspapers that would print broadsheet papers. You are not going to read this article while drinking a cup of tea trying to figure out the day's cryptic crossword - NO! This is of the "click-bait" formula, but you know what. I had fun with this one...

So next time you see a seagull no where near the sea, well is it really a seagull? These 61 seconds have made me think about this. Yeah I enjoyed this adventure!