#the subtext tho!!!!

[arillustrated]

thinking about mizu from blue eye samurai. thinking. thinking so much. thinking about how mizu operates outside of gender. like we joke about her gender being revenge but straight up? it literally is. like she grew up as a boy and is most comfortable being a man, but behind that is the feeling of betraying himself because he isn't being honest about who he is and he lives in fear of being discovered. and when he lived as a woman, she found joy there as well. she fell in love, and though she wasn't good at it, she liked being a wife and enjoying a simple life. but in that life too, she isn't being honest about who she is. and when she reveals her true self, it's not a woman, she's a demon, a weapon. she's to masculine to be a woman, and too feminine to be a man. ultimately, mizu is most comfortable when they are being a murder machine. that's when they feel they are being the most true to themself. like a sword, they are neither man nor woman, but a blend of both, which makes them stronger.

[clarebear-0925]

BEAU DEMAYO JUST CONFIRMED MORPH IS IN LOVE WITH LOGAN ON TWITTTERRRR!??

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[brother-emperors]

I got. thoughts. about valens and voices in imperial roman history. but I also got a lot of thoughts about uhhhhhh choosing your brother for co ruling the Fratricide Foundation Story Empire. many thoughts about themistius' oration too

Brotherly Love, Themistius (trans. Peter Heather & David Moncur)

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta

[katabay]

my knight-monk agenda strikes again, but this was less of a 'I read something that made me experience several emotions and a strike of inspiration at once,' and more of a 'wouldn't it be fucked up if the bejeweled skeleton saints came to life and and started. eating people. or something. in revenge. medieval catholic horror, or an older horror of not being buried right. zombies, even. a complete bastardization of holy visuals. zombies.'

it's a far away idea, but I still wanted to play around with font layouts. like, if I DID make it into a full comic: these would be visual vibes, perhaps.

it's also a little bit about the kind of intimacy that these kinds of spaces provide, or in the case of this monk: the heavy trauma of war and the death of your brother, the escape to a secluded monastery, spiritual brotherhood to make up for your dead brother, but your role as a physician keeps pulling you back to this violence you want to escape. physician, heal thyself, only you have a holy calling to serve those in need, so instead: physician, open up your wounds again. saint jude, patron saint of lost causes, give us a fucking hand here, man. amen.

Homosexuality in the Renaissance: Behavior, Identity, and Artistic Expression, James M. Saslow

and this one is about earlier history than the medieval period that this comic is set in, but the monk character is sort of an exploration of earlier themes. a little bit. I like overlapping eras with each other, I've done it before and I'll do it again. this character is an exploration of some other stuff too, but mostly this book was interesting to read

From Monastery to Hospital: Christian Monasticism and the Transformation of Health Care in Late Antiquity, Andrew T Crislip

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

[greenqueenhightower]

Thoughts on the Larys x Aegon Scene in 2x06:

"He executes justice for the fatherless child and the widow."—Deuteronomy 10:18

Larys visits Aegon as he lies on his bed, healing from his injuries. Aegon is most eager to cloud his mind with milk of the poppy, just as his father had done. As he is handed the vial with the drug, Larys assumes the authority of a family member entrusted with Aegon's care. He purposely withholds the drug from Aegon, to instruct him. He wants to instill in him the conviction that he only has his mind to depend on now. Aegon's mind should be sacred to him, just as it is for Larys.

"You have already written yourself into legend. You have survived dragonfire." Larys begins to bore through Aegon's mind. He is not a mere mortal man. He is a legend. Despite his trembling and silent cowering at the sight of his brother, Aegon should not feel completely wasted.

"I came screaming into this world." Larys breaks the news of the extent of his injuries to Aegon. The young King's distraught and mutilated state stirs up something inside him, something that Larys has long kept shut. In response, he does something remarkable; something we've never seen Larys do before: he becomes vulnerable.

"My lungs were strong but my foot so twisted that my father named it sorcery." Breathing heavily, Larys reveals that he, too, was shunned by his father since birth. His deformity was something that Lyonel Strong never came to accept just as Viserys never accepted Aegon as his son and heir. Larys' fate is akin to that of his King. Aegon's grunts of pain stop and he fixes his attention on Larys.

"They will stare at you... or turn away." Aegon and Larys cry together, the wounds of both exposed bare. Larys lets Aegon in on his inner trauma of being despised and disposed of because of his disability. Does Larys fear that Aegon might suffer the same fate by his family? Does he empathize with Aegon's pain because he sees himself in him? Does he want to prepare him for or shield him from the cruel world?

"They will underestimate you... and this will be your advantage." Larys' face hardens as he reveals the bitter truth. Aegon musters up whatever courage he has to exclaim "No!" and shake his head in disbelief.

"Help me. Please." Larys warns Aegon that his life is in danger and he begs for his help. Aegon has come to trust Larys with his life. Has he found an ally and a friend in him? He now wants Larys to protect him. He turns to him like a refuge in a storm. He knows he can depend on him. Like a child pleading with his father, Aegon's eyes plead with Larys.

Larys responds with his determined face and trademark smirk. What will he do to protect his King? One thing is certain: Larys is a ruthless executioner of justice. He has killed his own family, whose eyes so wickedly and hatefully stared at him, for all the injustices inflicted on him. He has tortured and killed all those who betrayed his trust. He is bound to be equally merciless with those who dare touch or thus dehumanize Aegon. Larys assumes the role of father and protector for Aegon, ready to execute his own version of justice for what he cares about.

And apart from himself, Larys has shown that the only other soul he cares to avenge is Aegon.

[shortnotsweet]

Rhaenyra’s relationship with her stepmother Alicent was complicated, as some days it was filled with hostility, and others…

…it was more than fond. It was baffling to the Court, to the King, and most of all, to themselves.

[honestlydarkprincess]

so let the words slip out of your mouth

buck & eddie || rated: g || wc: 1.7k || read on ao3

Buck wasn’t trying to hide from Eddie. Really, he wasn’t. It’s just….every time Buck tried to get the words out he clammed up. He was pretty sure that Eddie thought there was something wrong with him, he’d been giving Buck increasingly worried looks over the last couple weeks.

Eddie had overheard Hen telling him that she would add him to the queer LAFD group chat— not she had said what the group chat was for at the time— and he’d given Buck a weird look, as he knew how much Buck hated group chats. Buck was also sure that Eddie had noticed the look on Bobby’s face when he looked at Buck sometimes, like he was proud of him, happy for him. It never failed to warm Buck from head to toe but he knew it made Eddie curious. The worst was probably Chimney, who, after a few too many weird goodbyes, had stopped saying bye altogether and had taken to saying adios.

So Eddie definitely knew something was up with Buck, but Buck was pretty sure he didn’t know what.

Buck was sitting at his table, staring into space as he contemplated how to tell Eddie. Tommy had just left— they’d had a nice romantic date before Tommy had to leave due to an early shift the next morning and Buck was still giddy over their date. Things were good between him and Tommy. Solid. They’d only been dating for a few weeks but Buck was over the moon and he was really excited to see where things were going to go between them.

A soft knock sounded at his door, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Buck went to answer it, figuring it was Tommy. “You forget something?” He asked as he opened the door.

Only it wasn’t Tommy, it was Eddie. “Hey, Buck. Can we talk?”

“Y-yeah, of course,” Buck stumbled over his words, moving to the side so Eddie could come in. Buck swallowed roughly as he shut the door behind him. Looks like they’d be having this conversation whether he was ready or not. “What do you want to talk about?”

Eddie just gave him a look. “You know what.”

Buck sighed. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, Eds. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Eddie pressed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “If I’m being honest, Buck, I don’t really know what’s going on. I just know that everyone at work is acting weird, like they’re in on this secret and I’m not, and I’ve tried to figure it out, trust me. But I can’t. What could be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

“It’s not bad, I promise,” Buck said earnestly. “There’s nothing wrong, I’ve just…figured some things out.”

“Okay…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck when he didn’t elaborate. “What things?”

“It’s that— I’m—” Buck tried, swallowing against the lump in his throat. His heart was beating so fast, just like it had the first time he came out. You’d think all the practice he’d had would have made it easier but something about coming out to Eddie made everything feel so much more.

“Is it that you’re hanging out with Tommy? I saw him leave. You guys don’t have to hide it,” Eddie said, his brow furrowed. “It’s not like I’d be upset. A little bummed that I’m not invited but not upset,” Eddie chuckled, although his laughter trailed off when Buck just stood there.

“Tommy and I…” Buck started, clearing his throat. “We are hanging out but we’re not friends.”

“How does that work?” Eddie looked adorably confused.

“Eds, we’re dating.”

“Oh,” Eddie said, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “So I’m…the news is that I’m bisexual. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, digesting the new information while Buck fidgeted in front of him. “So…when we ran into you at the pizza place…you guys were on a date, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, it was our first,” Buck mumbled, unable to keep a small smile from gracing his lips. The date had been a little tense and a whole lot awkward when Eddie and Marisol interrupted but then Tommy had walked him back to his door and kissed him and Buck had melted, throwing himself into the kiss. They’d found their footing and it hadn’t been awkward since.

“Shit, Buck, I’m so sorry, we totally interrupted,” Eddie looked dismayed.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Buck reassured.

“I’m still sorry,” Eddie said quietly. “And I’m sorry for storming over here and basically forcing you to tell me. You clearly didn’t want to and I made you and I’m just, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no,” Buck said, his brow furrowing as he took a step closer to Eddie. “You didn’t make me do anything, I was always going to tell you, I was just having a hard time finding the words.”

Eddie let out a sigh of relief and closed the distance between them, pulling Buck into a bear hug. Buck hugged back just as tightly, letting out a shuddering breath when Eddie whispered, “I’m proud of you, Buck. Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome,” Buck mumbled back. A quick fleeting thought dashed across his mind that Eddie’s arms felt so good around him, something he’d always known but now it was at the forefront of his mind. It felt different now and Buck felt a tendril of confusion. Why did hugging his best friend feel different now? Why did it feel better? Like something was slotting together? Buck shook his head as he pulled away from the hug, trying to physically shake away the thoughts. He wasn’t ready to think about that. “I’m surprised you’re here so late, where’s Chris?”

“Ah,” Eddie looked sheepish. “We had a bit of a fight and he wanted space so Tia Pepa said she’d take him for the night.”

“Oh? About what?” Buck was confused, the amount of times Eddie and Christopher had fought was a very small number.

Eddie sighed. “It’s dumb, you probably don’t want to hear it,” He tried to brush it off. “Let’s talk about more important things: so, you and Tommy?”

Buck ducked his head, blushing. “Yeah, me and Tommy.”

“That’s great, Buck, I’m really happy for you,” Eddie said. A quick expression flitted across his face, too quick for Buck to decipher it, before Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

“Thanks, Eds,” Buck murmured, a pleased glow lighting up his face. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know but first, talk to me about Chris. What did you fight about, is he okay?” Buck was concerned for his favourite Diaz.

“He’s not Marisol’s biggest fan,” Eddie sighed, scrubbing his jaw. “He doesn’t like that she’s been babysitting him so much— which is on me, I’ve been going out a lot with Tommy, especially that first couple of weeks and now, I just— I guess I have to figure that out.”

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry,” Buck said, his voice soft with sympathy. “You want a beer?”

“God, yes please,” Eddie blew out a breath, coming to sit down at the island in Buck’s kitchen. Buck placed an opened beer in front of him and then opened one for himself. “Thanks, Buck.” Eddie said gratefully, taking a hearty sip.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t even know,” Eddie said, picking at the beer bottle label. “If I’m being honest, I’m not…really feeling it? Like, it was exciting at first and she’s nice but that’s…that’s it. I don’t feel a spark with her, y’know? I don’t really feel anything for her. I guess that’s why I kind of blew up at Chris, because I felt guilty that I wasn’t actually upset that he didn’t like her.”

“If you want me to talk to him, just let me know,” Buck offered.

“That would be great, I’d really appreciate that.”

“No problem,” Buck smiled before he took a deep breath, steeling himself for his next question. “Speaking of Christopher, Eddie can I….can I tell him? About me?”

Eddie looked at him in surprise. “Buck, of course. You don’t even have to ask. Besides, he’s…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck with soft eyes. “He’s your kid too.”

Buck swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, feeling tears sting his eyes. “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Eddie grinned.

“You’ve never said that before,” Buck said shyly.

“To be honest I thought you knew,” Eddie’s voice was gentle. “You’re his guardian if anything happens to me.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s mine,” Buck countered, looking down at his hands.

“It does to me,” Eddie replied firmly, so there was so ifs, ands, or buts. “He’s ours.”

“Ours,” Buck tested the word out, liking the way it sounded. “Okay. Ours.”

Eddie’s smile could outshine the sun and Buck felt his heart skip a beat, just like it always did when Eddie smiled at him.

The two of them were quiet for a minute, basking in the comfortable silence while they sipped their beer, before Buck eventually spoke up. “How do you think I should tell him?”

“That you’re bi?” Eddie asked and Buck nodded. “I’d just say it straight.”

Buck laughed. “Well, I don’t know if I can say it straight.”

Eddie chuckled. “You’re going to be making all the puns now, aren’t you?” His voice was unbearably fond and Buck wanted to wrap himself around the glow it lit inside him. “You know what I meant. Just say it outright, you know he’ll support you. You may have to explain what bisexual means but honestly I think he’s going to be very casual about it. Plus, he likes Tommy so you know he’s going to be excited that you’re dating.”

“Okay, great,” Buck’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you, Eddie.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Buck,” Eddie said. “Now come on, let’s finish these while we watch a shitty movie.”

“Sounds good,” Buck said warmly, following Eddie to the couch. And it did— sound good. He felt better than he had in weeks now that Eddie knew and was okay with it— just like Buck had always known he would be, but that small part of him that worried was loud. As Buck leaned back against the couch while they flicked through the movie options, he felt complete. And very, very free.

[almamidships]

Me every time I see new promo pics of Captain Gerrard:

[terrifiedofconflict]

Reading the Lestat book and how he came to accept that the institutions of family and religion could not provide him with meaning. He sought it through his relationship to Nicholas, music, theater, art, what the other people around him deemed as "sinful." Thinking about Louis's struggle with making his own meaning outside of those structures. He struggles with his identity needing to hinge on traditional ideas of stability: family(traditional rather than the queer found family type) and a career. Louis thinks of Lestat as frivolous and superficial, lacking in meaning, vs having to make his own. Lestat sees that for both of them, those things may not offer Louis actual happiness, but he's...let's say...impatient with the pace of Louis's journey. He's like the gay that already hated his family and does not get why his closeted boyfriend wants to keep going home for the holidays to his homophobic mom. The 2nd he turns Louis, he's essentially like, "Let's do poppers, go to the club and share this coffin." Which is a lot to be putting on someone not ready to come out as a "vampire."

After Louis' comes out to one other person he has just killed as a "vampire" Lestat says that that night should be their "new anniversary"

Bonus: in the 2nd season in Paris as Louis is becoming comfortable in his sexuality, him and Armand meet Jean Paul Satre at a Cafe. (Probably bs memory made up by Armand but STILL) Satre is the philosophy boy all about struggling with making your own meaning, ie existentialism.

[kyrawaff]

Woke up this morning to a small fandom ship I like got a whole ass official novel that's basically nothing but a a gay af wlw fanfic....

Damn what a good way to start the morning!

[gayofthefae]

I can't believe Mike friend zoned Will and then Will immediately friend zoned him back and Mike got all sad and quiet and retreated back "In the Closet (at Rink o Mania)"

(yes, that moment is the exact line the song starts playing, you can check)

vs when he realizes Will already thought so

[rubia-peregrinart]

the scent of the moon, of flowers they no longer dream of ; it drives the old hunters into a frenzy.

inspired by Konstantin Korobov's Agnus.

[cowchickenbeefpork]

Before I watched iwtv I thought Daniel and armand was a actual thing. And so when I saw armand and Louis be together I thought "oh that old man is gonna be a homewrecker this season he's gonna make armand cheat on his husband" but no. You people are sick and horrid liars to me. How could you do this to such a thing to a whimsical creature like me? How could you trick me that old man wanting the young old man was undeniably Canon. For shame. For shameeeeee.

Edit: nvm. Exile for a thousand years for I.

[brother-emperors]

TRY AGAIN LATER

it's like. well. its several things.

(Plutarch's Crassus, trans. Warner)

and also this

(ibid.)

that compliment sounds like an insult, baby.

anyway, there's a fun kind of eroticism in being given everything, in taking things that aren't yours without any real consequence, in climbing towards becoming a Roman Alexander, only for one man to deny you, over and over and over again, at every turn. Sulla tried, Crassus did it better. who would put a butcher in their place? who else knows you well enough to do it? who else can match you step for step like this? doesn't it feel like a kind of intimacy, a kind of—

it's also about the 'even sulla kissed my sword/so you want me on my knees too?' innuendo was too good to pass up. that was actually the first line I wrote, I figured out the rest of this to justify making a comic with it

and finally! the sword line is referencing/playing off of Lucan's Pharsalia a little bit because it fucks hard

(Lucan's Pharsalia, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce)

EDIT: oh, and that's a public domain anatomical illustration of a heart. you know how it is with love and hate.

[collegeboysam]

"my uncle is a challenge i welcome, if he dares face me" that's exactly what a delusional man who has his nephew locked somewhere in harrenhal would say while he thinks hears his voice in his head

[diggingfordragons]

Call it a CODE BLACK, there's no denying it, there's no turning back