#the thought that if i was Good Enough or that if i was Worthy Enough

[lucky-clover-gazette]

i don’t think dot and bubble was trying to do both “phone bad” commentary and race commentary. i don’t think it was trying to do “phone bad” commentary at all. the episode wore the veneer of a mediocre black mirror clone to lull the viewer into expecting something predictable and bland—haha they can’t walk without their phones! mid-tier episode but good enough—and then it hits you with the fucking gut punch of that ending, and the Why of the episode falls into place.

i almost wonder if the real “phone bad” commentary has to do with the experiences of people of color in fandom, where they’re having fun with the story and feel a sense of belonging and then boom. they realize that there are racist people and ideas in a situation that previously felt predictable and safe. i’ve heard princess weekes discuss that experience before, and she even made a video essay about martha jones in doctor who. and of course that experience goes far beyond fandom, in much more serious ways, but it’s the technology stuff that made me think of it specifically. and now that i think of it, there are hints dropped about those much more serious ways in the episode—something about a very modern-day-esque police institution existing in this far-off future utopia, and the way lindy called for them, had already rubbed me the wrong way.

maybe this episode was rtd’s attempt to grapple with the ways he failed martha jones and mickey smith in his original run. acknowledging that an adventure can be destroyed in a second, with the realization that everyone else on the adventure sees you as less worthy than your white counterparts. ncuti performs the doctor’s realization and reaction extremely well. i’m glad that this episode exists.

i’m going to rewatch this immediately, i think. please feel free to add your thoughts.

[spookypete-94]

Dark Horse- Husband and Wife

Part 4

PriceXFem!reader

Start of a mini series. Reader is a single mother, working double shifts at a restaurant. Father of the child starts to become a problem while reader is at work and Price offers a solution. Slight age gap between reader around 25 and Price around 35. MDNI! This chapter contains light smut towards the end, not necessary to continue the story.

This one is a little rushed I feel. Wanted to write more, but limited on time and didn't want to keep everyone waiting for an update.

Searching your closet for the best outfit you owned was proving difficult. You hardly ever splurged on yourself for anything that you deemed wasn't worthy of your job. Honestly, fresh white long sleeves and black slacks being most of what you owned. Standing there in your towel, tiny water droplets falling to the floor dampened your carpet. Finally, you had found it. An old dress you had for the baby shower for Abel. It was long and white made from cotton lined with blue flowers. Setting it out, to slip on after your hair and makeup are completed.

It was hard for you to even look yourself in the eyes. Nervous about being a married woman at the end of the day, but you were doing it for Abel. John seemed like a man that would hold his word, surely, he would be a good husband… There was no denying there was attraction between the two of you, but would it be enough to make a good marriage?… Shit, should you write vows? What was expected of you here??

After perfectly working yourself up and deciding you had enough makeup on and hair styled, you went out to find Abel eating a bowl of cereal at the counter.

"You all ready for you big day?" Asking him, you started to gather your other items.

"You look pleasantly ready for yours," A familiar voice announced themselves. Looking over you saw John sitting in front of 2 cups of coffee that he had got to go, one for you and one for him.

"John!" you exclaimed startled. He started chuckling, your face full of surprise. You looked back and forth between him and Abel. "Not that I'm upset that you are here… but how did you get in?"

"I let him in," Abel said turning to you looking at your shocked face.

"Abel, what have I said about unlocking the door?"

"He's not a stranger ma," Abel defended himself, making you shake your head and sigh. Oh, the irony.

John who had found the scene amusing chuckled harder, sliding the coffee to you. "I did tell him it was me when he asked who I was, the door was still closed."

"I suppose," you grumbled, giving Abel a side eye while smiling, feigning annoyance still. "He is the only other person you open the door for, ok?"

"After today I would hope you would give him a key." Abel said, quickly proud of his witty response.

"Abel!" Was the only thing that could come out of your mouth while John laughed loudly in the background.

"He's a good kid, like how he thinks." John grinned at you, making you roll your eyes even more. They were going to get stuck in your head today.

"Grab your stuff, let's go," You ushered to Abel like normal in the morning. "Can't have you missing your field trip."

"Absolutely not," he concluded making you laugh.

"Glad to see you're in a good mood today."

"Dinosaurs and you are happy momma, that's why." he said, skipping away like he normally did to the end of the sidewalk. The statement made your head turn to him to look. Had he really noticed what you thought was a subtle difference in you? Were you really that unhappy? It made your heart hurt to see that Abel could tell the difference.

John gave you a longing glance seeing your hurt behavior before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his key fob to his car to unlock it. The lights flashed on a fancy black car parked in front of your house.

"Are we going in that?!" Abel asked where John nodded at him in response.

"Sure are."

"This day just keeps getting better and better!" Abel exclaimed, getting into the backseat.

You then smiled seeing him gleam and shine in the backseat, an extreme flip flop just happened in your emotions. It made your nerves unsettle again as you approached the car preparing to get into the passenger seat.

A large hand stopped you from reaching for the door handle making you look up at John.

"I get the doors." Eyebrows raised at you telling you he would take no arguing about it, making you take a step back so he could clear the door of you.

It made the heat rise from your neck into your cheeks. Trying to hide it, you buckled yourself in turning around to make sure Abel did. John slid into the driver’s seat starting the car causing all kinds of lights and gauges to light up as the engine came alive. It was different not walking to school and seeing all the other people pass by in a slow blur. Sure, a car would be nice in your life, but other things take priority over other means of getting around. This just feels like a luxury.

John pulled up in front of the school for drop off. Stepping out of the car, you chased Abel up the front steps. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Slow down!" You said waiting for him to stop before giving him a hug. "Got all of your stuff still?" Looking him over just to be sure.

"Yes," he groaned, finding all of this unnecessary. Your final glance over completed, you titled his chin to make him look at you. "I love you; I hope you have a good time. We will be the ones to pick you up tonight since it’s the weekend." With that, you got a brief hug before he turned and ran off in the direction of the front doors. Making sure he got inside; you turned and saw John leaning against his car. You stood still a moment, taking him in. He wore a long white sleeve shirt, a blue tie and blue matching slacks to go with. Truly, he was handsome. But the smile he was giving you was warming your heart, a hand gesturing out to come to him. Answering his plea, you approached where he again opened the door for you to sit down in his car. Smoothing out the dress, the pearl ring catching your eye. You didn't even have a ring for him… A frown on your face.

He must have noticed this as he got in and sat down. "You alrigh'?"

"Yeah…" you mumbled out, your left hand tucking your fingers down, trying to hide what you really wanted to say.

"Out with it." he firmly but gently, he said turning to better face you.

"Don't have a ring for you, don't have vows for you, don't even have a key made for you-" you blurted out with haste, a hand reaching over to squeeze your hand.

"All of those things will come with time, sweethear', don't stress it. Can pick a ring for cheap at a pawn shop, keys can be made in minutes. We don't have to say vows, the Judge can tell us what to say. It's gonna be alrigh'" his hand reaching over and brushing across your left hand, finger rubbing against the ring.

"Do you not wan' to do this?" He asked as if it was his worst fear, to either make you feel like you were obligated to or perhaps didn't want this.

Taking a few seconds, you shook your head "No, I want this…I think. You seem like a good man, but it’s confusing to me. To have anyone treat me so kindly."

This time it was his turn to frown, the damage and abuse you had withstood from your ex clearly shining through all your cracks right now. And he intended to fix it.

"Everyone deserves to be treated like this by one another. Especially the ones who love their children so much. Who have been through it all and still remain good in this fucked up world… Whatever that man has done to you, ends now. I'm going to show your son how a real man loves and protects his woman.." He said leaning over, an arm wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you to him. A warm kiss was placed on your temple before he rested his own forehead against it.

"You sure you want this? Are you ready?" he asked again, trying to make sure you were confident in your answer.

"Yes," you nearly whispered out, fighting off the tears not wanting to ruin your make up you hardly ever wore.

Kissing you one more time, he let go, putting the car in drive before heading off in what you assume was the direction of the courthouse.

The paperwork was more than you had expected. Had to present ID and sign through what felt like stacks of sheets of papers and told to sit in the hallway and your names would be called.

"How old are you?" you asked.

"35."

Favorite color?"

"Green."

"Dogs or cats?"

"Dogs. Interrogatin' me now?" A slight laugh to his question.

Meekly you answered, "Just realize I know nothing about you.... besides your food order."

"I will tell you all you wanna know then."

Spending a half hour you learned a lot about John. He joined the military right out of school, it being no doubt where he wanted to go with his life. No siblings, his mother and father both passed leaving him without immediate family. He traveled a lot for his job, gone for periods of time.

Next, he learned about you. Your upbringing. The favorite things you enjoyed in life. The hardest part the details of how your ex had got you drunk before raping you and causing you to get pregnant. Watching the anger flash across his face, and hands squeezing tightly on the wrinkles of his pants.

"As terrible as it was, and as he can be… I don't regret it. Abel is the best thing out of my life even for the circumstances."

John's eyes softened, his hand reaching back over to yours. Thumb stroking the back of your hand.

"I'm sorry it happened to you like that and so young."

Shrugging you tried to brush it off. "It's aright… sometimes I just wish he would disappear." You stated more for yourself. He wanted to say more but was interrupted as your names were called. It now became a thought John would catalog away for now, something he might return to later if the chance arises.

Standing up, he reached for your hand which you gladly took, walking next to him, matching his stride.

You could see the judge's mouth moving, words supposed to be coming out, but it sounded like garble to you. Your heart pounding loudly in your ears, the anxiety rushing through your veins causing what sounded like static.

All of it was simple, but still somehow more extravagant than what you thought you would ever deserve. The moment finally came that you had been stressing about all morning, turning to face John away from the judge seemed to fix that issue. His blue eyes and calming smile soothing you, all fret finally leaving. His words echoed true.

"I, John take you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

The words seemed to have rung a bell in you, causing peace to quell within. This was it, it was real, it was happening. Pure Bliss. Mirroring his words you repeated them back to him, holding true.

"Do we have rings to exchange?" The judge asked glancing over to John and a slight shake of his signifying his answer. This was all so fast- the last item on your list but making the top of it now. "Then you may kiss your bride." The judge stated, smiling, removing his glasses a way to watch the event before him.

John stepped forward leaning down and kissing you sweetly. So much different from what had happened last night on your couch. Standing up on your tippy toes to kiss him fully back before breaking away.

That was it. You're done now. Probably the craziest thing you have ever done in your life besides giving birth. Hand wrapped around yours, John led you back out the court room and waved off those that congratulated you both. Grateful to be back outside you took a deep breath in filling your lungs. Your mind flashing over to think of Abel. You did this for him, you will protect him. John was grinning, the very best smile of his you had seen yet making you match it back.

"How's it feel to be Mrs. Price?" he asked arm wrapping around your waist.

"Like a whole new person," your tone joking.

"Have a whole day planned before we pick up Abel," John said checking his mirrors before pulling out.

"Like what?'

" 's surprise wife," he said reminding you, smiling still.

"No hints whatsoever?"

"None."

He drove out of the city, taking you into the countryside. "Where are we going?" You asked trying to get anything from him. "Almos' there." was his answer before pulling down a bumpy lane. He drove slow not wanting to cause a rough ride, giving you a good glance. Trees surrounded the lane, giving shade over the car, bits and pieces of sun peeking through periodically. The car finally came to a stop pulling into what seemed like a random piece of land. John sighed, parking it and turning over to face you while he popped the trunk.

This whole thing seemed strange, but you were putting faith and trust into John that there were not ropes and trash bags in the back he was going to stuff you in.

"Going to explain now?" You asked with an arched eyebrow. "I bought this piece of land. Wanna build a house and move us all here. Have you be in charge of it while I'm gone." You were rendered speechless.

"You what?"

And John calmly repeated himself, knowing it had shocked you. Letting the words bounce off of you, you looked out the windshield eyeing the property.

"One more time…" you repeated. This whole thing had to be a fucking dream, you were in a coma, there is no way you just hit the jackpot in luck with finding a man and him building a house.

And again, he repeated it, a snicker in between words.

"You can't be serious."

"Very serious, wouldn't joke about that."

Tears stung your eyes this time, falling desperately.

"Oh hey, I didn' mean to make ya' cry." Trying to hold you in the car.

"Not sad John, I think these are tears of joy," you answered awkwardly laughing while feeling like a fool. A fit of giggles ensued you both.

"I've never had something as nice as you." you said, looking at him, trying to stop crying.

"Makes any difference, I've never had anything as nice and good as you either…" before leaning forward and kissing you with so much love and passion.

"My husband," you said hand stroking through his beard. "Hope your ready wife," he said getting out of the car coming over to open yours.

"For what?"

"To be wined and dined." Hand extended to help you out, next grabbing a blanket and basket out of the trunk of car. He had packed an extensive picnic. A bottle of wine, cheeses, crackers and deli meat to make sandwiches. Even stopping to find a small cake to celebrate your wedding day.

Bellies full, he laid down looking up at the blue sky, watching clouds roll by. Slowly you joined him, head laying on his chest joining him. Hand reaching over to lay on his heart, feeling it pound in his chest. Slowly it moved south, settling on his thigh, making him look down and over at you.

"Careful bird, I'll make you sing," he lovingly threatened you. "Think I want you to make me," you confessed to him. Before you knew fully what was happening, he was braced over the top of you. Knees strong columns over your sides and pinned your wrists above your head.

"Wanted this from you for so long," he had hissed into your ear before biting your pulse point in your neck, just enough to make you moan out. Running his tongue across it, soothing what he had just done to you. "Watching you run around that restaurant," one hand pinning your wrist while the other slipped behind you roughly grabbing your ass. "Look so good while being a good little waitress, the way you flirted with me even though I am an old man compared to you. But you're an even better mother. You gonna give me one?" he asked grinding into you, his clothes causing friction giving you all kinds of sensations.

He was dirty talking you… and you liked it.

"Whatever you want," you admitted, doe eyes looking up at him.

"Yeah? 'Cause I'm your what?" Smirking while he looked down at you, tone smug.

"You're my husband."

"And you're my wife. You want to give me children?"

"Yes." Dutifully answering him, making dry hump into you again, this time your dress fully out of the way feeling more of his hard cock press into you.

"Such a good wife," he said pulling your dress up, and over your head. Leaving you in the lacey set you had picked out.

"Wanted this, huh?"

How could you not?

"Such a gooood little wife," he coed into your hair before slipping into your panties, making you arch.

Gasping, you both continued, him getting his want of you and your fill of him. Lying next to him on the blanket after, feeling his hand stroke up and your side lightly with his fingers.

"Will give you the world, love. Going to make this all right for you." It was here your heart linked with his, knowing you fully made the right choice.

Previous

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Captain John Price Masterlist

Taglist @cutiecusp @angeldemon28 @simplyymee98 @beebeechaos @cadotoast @talooolaaloolla @lhhlver @hon3y-cloud

[burquillos]

Thats cool that you prefer dkbk! I always thought bkdk matched their personality's better. Ive always wondered why some think dkbk fits better, which is again cool that you like that more! My point of view is katsuki always wanting to be number one, his dominant personality, his soft side he shows to izuku, and izuku being more submissive to katsuki specifically. Sure in battle he can be scary but he goes all soft when they are safe. What do you like about dkbk?

IM SCRAPPING THE ESSAY (for now cause I feel like it will remain unfinished until MHA ends and I have every single info)

But seeing Katsuki cry in the latest chapter unlocked a (relatively) shorter, dkbk specific answer for me: I just like seeing Katsuki being vulnerable and I like seeing Izuku feeling like he's worthy of seeing that vulnerability.

Katsuki's dominance is in part because he's a perfectionist and strives to be the best. People have expectations for him but he has even higher expectations for himself and he usually breaks beneath its weight. Has been since the sludge incident, Deku getting into UA, getting kidnapped, ending All Might etc. etc. Point is that, for me, his dominance feels more like a hindrance for him than anything else. I mean his whole arc IS about learning to Save to Win and throughout the 2nd war arc we see him shining in that supportive role he has learned to accept and he finally feels like he's free.

So when I saw him genuinely cry his heart out in front of Izuku in that hospital bed, my brain goes "Finally, Katsuki crying without hiding behind aggression and dominance like he did back in the Bakugo's Starting Line chapter and Deku vs Kacchan 2"

For Izuku's part, he's always dealt with being not enough from the very beginning, mostly cause he compared himself to Katsuki and why "envy" was one of All Might's description of him during the practical exam. First he wasn't enough to be a hero because he was quirkless. Then he got his quirk and he wasn't even decent at using it. Then he got the whole weight of a legacy thrust upon him and some of the users didn't even deem him worthy. Only up until recently did he stop thinking of himself as just a vessel of OFA but as a full pledged hero.

Izuku has envied Kacchan's dominance and his strength to win. His whole arc was about learning to Win to Save but he's so internally messed up about it cause he doesn't feel like it fits people's perception of him. That's why he goes "it's stupid and gross and I literally can't say this to your face but you're my image of victory even if those bad habits of yours are supposed to be something I am expected to dislike" and I want him so badly to reconcile with that part of himself.

So again, when Katsuki falls apart in his hands, when his image of victory comes crying to him and bearing his heart out, I think "Maybe he will finally feel reliable enough, strong enough, for this amazing person to unravel himself before him and trust him to hold him tight"

And that's about it for my MHA 424 revelation 😅I hope you have a good read 😅😅

[wellthebardsdead]

Solairen: *laying on his side, one wing definitely broken from cushioning his fall but alive* morning lords grace- M-my love? *rolls over and gasps, not at the decapitated head of Mephistopheles glaring at him with milky white eyes, but at the vision beside him* my love…

Raphael: *unconscious with a concussion cocktail of incubus spittle and blunt force trauma from riding his fathers head to the ground after severing it with solairens sword. The wedding gown he’d been forced into and paraded around the court of mephistar in as a final humiliation now torn to ribbons hanging off his naked red body, a final act of humiliation before his wedding to a hoard of pit fiends and lemurs that is* mmnn… *opens his eyes to see Solairen, the Paladin he’d fallen in love with as a drow, now a celestial solar ascended by lathander, glowing like a beacon of hope in the hell he thought would be his eternal tomb* m-my love… are you, o-okay?…

Solairen: *smiles and strokes his cheek* I am, I am my love.

Raphael: *leans into his touch without a fuss* h-Haarlep drugged me… brought me here so father could lure you and Astarion, he wanted to kill you in front of me, he wanted to remind me of my place… I didn’t think, you’d come for me…

Solairen: *blinks and laughs through tears* I married you. Astarion married you. He’s worried sick waiting for me to bring you home! I’d go to the end of the astral if it meant saving you… but you saved me instead. *smiles*

Raphael: *closes his eyes and grins playfully as the leathery membrane of his wings begins to flake away like burning paper* a saviour, that… is for certain. My love… *passes out again as large white feathers sprout from his back and many of his cambion characteristics are replaced with that of a solar celestial, his horns lined with gold framing a halo resembling a burning sun, and the jagged arrow point of his tail smoothing to a gentle heart, before returning to a handsome human man, with a heavenly warm golden glow surrounding him*

Solairen: *looks up to the heavens hearing lathanders words in his mind*

“He has proven himself worthy… and you have proven me wrong yet again… you did see good within him”

Solairen: *smiles and closes his eyes* I saw him… only him. *lifts his husband into his arms, giving him a loving, chaste kiss knowing Mephistopheles is still alive in hus corpse. Glaring at him from seemingly lifeless eyes* … *strokes Raphael’s face* you were always, more than enough… let’s go home my fire… *carries him through the portal back to the devils fee*

Astarion: *pacing back and forth frantically, haarleps blood still coating every part of his magistrate robes* they’re not back yet! Somethings wrong.

Wyll: it’ll be alright.

Calliope: *bursts in through a portal followed by Gale* WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAPHAELS BEEN KIDNAPPED?!

Astarion: I mean I had a bad feeling as I went to kiss him and I stopped in time to realise that fucker! *points at haarleps body* Smells nothing like my husband!! Solairens gone after him and neither of them have returned!

Gale: I’m sure they’ll be fine.

Astarion: HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLASÉ ABOUT THIS?! BOTH OF MY HUSBANDS ARE IN HELL-

Solairen: *steps through the portal holding Raphael, shielding his body with his wing* I’ve got him.

Gale: told you.

Astarion: I- you’re hurt! Gods you’re both hurt!! *hurries over and embraces them both* he’s?… glowing? These markings they look like yours is- what happened?

Solairen: now you have two celestial husbands, my little star.

Astarion: I- you- *sobs* d-don’t be cute I’m very upset! Let’s get him home I need to clean both of you up! You reek of the hells!

*the next morning*

Raphael: *growling as he tries to get rid of the glow on his skin and the halo following him* ARGHH! *grabs it and throws it only for it to reappear* I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS! *hurries to the balcony and looks up at the sun* FUCK YOU LATHANDER!!!

[victim-or-survivor]

just processed something. will cry about it later (off the clock)

[theloveinc]

i really can't apologize enough for the slowness of my writing and just generally, the lack of. But in all honestly, the improvement i've noticed in it's quality, both privately and in what i've shared, has really stunned me into an amazement i have yet to come to terms with and master.

it feels like i'm wielding a weapon that's way too heavy for me, but ... slowly by surely i am trying to build up the muscle to use it

[anistarrose]

inverted murder mystery: "who the fuck killed my archnemesis? i need to thank them personally"

[lulu2992]

A thought I had years ago:

I don’t know if it’s because Drew Holmes, Far Cry 5’s Lead Writer (and the new IP Director for Far Cry since August 2023!) was also a writer on BioShock Infinite, but there are a lot of similarities between the two games. For example, although the main antagonists, Zachary Comstock and Joseph Seed, have different goals, ideologies, and morals, they are both described as prophets and known as “Father”. The two men also see Elizabeth and the Junior Deputy as their “child” and call them “The Lamb” because they believe they are destined to fulfill their respective prophecies.

In Infinite, another character, Rosalind Lutece, famously says (about Elizabeth): “The girl is the flame that shall ignite the world.”

And when they were advertising Far Cry 5, they kept saying that the players’ goal, so the Deputy’s role, was to “spark the fires of resistance.”

When I finished Far Cry 5 and started to process the story, I realized that, in the end, while my Deputy indeed sparked the metaphorical fires of resistance, she also, because of the Voice’s prophecy, inadvertently and indirectly sparked the literal fires of the Collapse.

That girl, the Father’s child and the prophet’s Lamb, ended up being the flame that ignited the world.

[hooved]

nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him

[parallaxabomination]

my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard

[euesworld]

"Happy Monday!! May you look in the mirror today and see someone worth loving.."

Look in the mirror and love who you see, cause you are a beautiful creation.. the only one of you that will ever exist, there will never be another person quite like you and it's such a shame cause you are amazing, unique, and so you in every single way.. you deserve love, why not love yourself and see what happens? - eUë

[babygirlyusuf]

grade release day

[leatherbookmark]

dear google duckduckgo how to love and feel loved because i'm at my wits' end at this point

[soulinkpoetry]

When you feel you’re good enough, you never have to look outside of yourself for validation.

.

.

[transfemzedaph]

uhhh talk to me about smallzedbeef? :D

🪱

they are all so insufferable once they get together and joel brags to anyone who will listen abt the fact that he has two whole partners and they only have one (he mostly does this to jimmy. jimmy kinda thinks its cute that joel is so happy and ofc takes the teasing. then he goes to complain to tango, who complains to jimmy abt zed also)

zed is like so fucking sappy abt it all and makes weird little usless machines and contraptions as gifts (joel fucking loves them bc theyre great to stim with and beef just loves to reccive gifts bc love langauge)

beef doesnt really talk about it much (except with the nho, they know more than literally anyone else on the server but hey, theyre not gonna tell anyone) but hes happier than hes been in a while, and he feels a lot less lonely now, the other two coming by to visit him often, even though hes far away from everything and everyone else

[watery-melon-baller]

Sometimes you just feel pointless amirite gays