#the way this game deals with grief just........................ -chefs kiss- ]

[properbastard]

[the-bed-gremlins-reading-list]

The Auberon snippet was 🥰 chef kiss 💙 it got me curious, he thinks that noone knew of the engagement apart from their "family" and the Imperial one, so here my questions: 1 Who proposed this marriage?

2 What power/advantages would have granted to both parties?

3 When the murder happened, months before Auberon killing the uncle?

4 Did he suspect it was the uncle?

5 Did our bethroed already have a lover at the time?

6 Is the lover family powerful?

7 The princess was still the future ruler right?

8 how the four possible MC's teachers/masters took the news?

Oooh, lots of questions! Love that! (Gonna drop a read-more for folk's dashes though.)

The Empress whose main backing is within the major religious organization. (I have a name for them written down somewhere but can't remember which out of the list I finalized for them. They're associated with the sun god and his court though.)

Lux was actually being put at a disadvantage. The betrothal with the younger Medulloi means they can't use their marriage to increase their influence and status. However they would be coming up on being of age to start receiving military commands and so a betrothal and marriage avoids the superstitions around unwed commanders being bad luck. It could - potentially - have opened the way for Auberon to make a formal argument regarding their uncle's actions and the murders/executions that were involved. But it was a case where Viria Laetoria doesn't actually have the political pull to refuse an order from her Emperor even if she hates her charge being involved with their nonsense.

Auberon did take a few months to link his uncle to the murder. He's given the information by one of his allies among the resistance but acts on it as soon as he has it. (Auberon prior to killing his uncle is primarily involved in espionage for them, when he inherits Ausones he shifts his role because he has access to ships and men.)

He knew that his uncle was still dangerous but it had been years since there'd been any real threat from that quarter. Viria and her people had made sure of that. Auberon had him on his list of suspects but had no real proof and he knew that once he acted against someone with power his play-act of being the obedient Laetoria heir would be over so he had to be sure of his target.

Lux does not have a lover at the time of the betrothal. They meet their lover while on the Ithellen front.

Nope. They're from a respectable family but not a powerful or well-known one.

Yup! Octavia is assassinated on her way to the Ithellen front from Ausones after she finishes dealing with Auberon and sends her brothers back to the capital.

BADLY, as one would expect. Whether or not the kids call any of them by familial titles they are family so it as basically like they lost their kid or nibling.

Ashkeru is the closest to the "canon" younger Medulloi because the poisoning attempt from their childhood left them weakened in a way it doesn't the game MC. As the family healer they end up in her care a lot. She's shattered by the loss - to the point she returns to Khemia and her family after Auberon's taken the ducal seat. She's still family but she doesn't have it in her to watch him burn himself up.

Halli is off making Caerwyn's life a living nightmare. He doesn't process the grief until weeks later when he has to give up the assassin's trail completely because the other little one decided to brand himself with a hell of a nasty reputation by using corpses for decoration. He throws himself into taking care of the family he has left, especially since Zaphon has never met the meaning of "self care". It doesn't work the best but he keeps trying.

Zaphon's reaction is probably the most outwardly stoic of the four. Mostly because his self-appointed role in the family is "the sane one". He's the one making sure Auberon and the others don't break until Halli comes back. (He just sort of collapses into his arms when they finally get some privacy.) He doesn't have the most outward response but he's a lot more protective of Auberon after that - he makes sure that there IS a plan in place, even if it's a bit rushed. (It's after this that Zaphon admits - at least privately - that he thinks of Auberon as his son, and that scares the hell out of him because he knows what hatred and vengeance can do to a person.)

Viria grieves. It's quiet and lost - but she's lost a lot in her life and had to bury that grief beneath duty to survive, and it isn't something she's good at. So she ends up adrift, not quite finding her footing but forced to try because she's a general and Octavia's loss means that she is in command of the Ithellen war. She focuses on what she can but it probably doesn't surprise anyone that knows her when she falls in battle not long after the MC's and Octavia's deaths. (An unwillingness to cut down an Ithellen fighter that was the same age as the MC and another enemy who took advantage of that hesitation in the heat of combat.) House Laetoria officially dies with her, she had never named an heir intending to offer the house to the Medulloi siblings once Auberon finally gave up the idea of retaking Ausones, or offering the name and the associated lands to the MC if Auberon managed to become duke.

[amethystamaranth]

SNS Fic Recs Part II

My end of summer gift:

As said on my last rec, these are in no particular order

If you love these too plz message me I need someone to scream about these with

Anw hope you guys enjoy!

After The World Fell Down by zephyras13, 36k  https://archiveofourown.org/works/217460 

Given Summary: Naruto has been fighting a war for the life of his neighborhood for the past four years, with no end in sight. His world is violent, arbitrary, and ruthless, but it is simple. It makes sense. And then Uchiha Sasuke fucks everything up. SN EXCHANGE FIC.

My summary: Listen I never read mafia AUs but I looove this one it deals with overcoming grief and finding light in despair and the characterization is just (chef's kiss) and there’s this intensity that’s so characteristic to them I just--

2. Gloss by Fahye, 2k https://archiveofourown.org/works/758123

Given summary: It begins with the way Sasuke reaches out and picks up Naruto's hand, with the way his lips are dry and smooth and he never even blinks as he pulls Naruto's fingers into his mouth. 

My summary: The characterization!!! I just want to grab people by the shoulders and shove this in their face like THIS IS HOW THEY HAVE SEX 

Also--beautiful language, I still trace out phrases from it on my shower walls that’s how lovely this is 

3. 999 Cranes Down, 1 To Go by RecitedPlay, 4k https://archiveofourown.org/works/46529917 

Given Summary: Sasuke relies on Naruto's hospitality while his arm heals, Naruto's prosthesis fresh and clumsy. Out shopping with Sakura, Naruto spies origami paper and an advertisement featuring the old legend - fold a thousand paper cranes and make a wish. Sakura suggests it as dexterity training for Naruto, but Sasuke can't help but wonder about the wish Naruto will make at the end.

My summary: post-war slice of life, made me Feel Things, great dialogue, domesticity sns style 

4. Clouded Mind and Heavy Heart by dawnstruck, 9k https://archiveofourown.org/works/2608253

Given summary: You reap what you sow. Sasuke plants seeds of doubt. Instead of fighting in the Valley of the End, Sasuke convices Naruto to join him.

My summary: This one is a dark jewel of a fic, a bit messed up but not DDDNE, first part of a series, Sasuke manipulates Naruto into leaving with him at the first vote fight, explores the ways their relationship is altered by only being in each other’s company, one I return to devour over and over again,  

5. Something to Remember Me By by heimai, 83k, https://archiveofourown.org/works/16251461    

Given Summary: Every summer, Naruto visits the sleepy beach town of Oceanview. Easily the best part of the trip is the carnival, set up for three days at the end of August. As summers pass, Naruto finds himself coming back again and again to see the boy at the end of the boardwalk. First, he wants to win the game the boy runs, but it turns into wanting to win Sasuke's heart instead. For some reason, Naruto just can't get him out of his head.

My Summary: SAD ENDING, the only fic to ever capture what childhood feels like, I cried over this and I Never cry over anything wow, one of those fics you are forever changed by, I felt hollowed out, like someone scooped out my insides, also has some of the most beautiful verses I’ve ever read in fic, unbearably beautiful and beautifully unbearable 

6. Stormborn by blackkat, 136k, https://archiveofourown.org/works/1877970 

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

My Summary: I always have such a difficult time summarizing longer fics, because so much happens over the course of them, but take my word for it this long-fic is worth it! A classic for a reason

7. A World of Truth by luchia, 24k, https://archiveofourown.org/works/649537  

Given Summary: The world is trapped in an illusion which removes anger, hate, and death. It's paradise, giving everyone everything they've ever wanted and reviving anyone they've ever lost. Nearly two years into the illusion, Sasuke snaps back to his senses and must decide whether to keep the world in false bliss, or return it to war-torn reality.

My Summary: Sasuke and Naruto are together in the infinite tsukuyomi, and when you have everything you have ever wanted, are they willing to dismantle the dream and face reality? Yea I know it’s basically the same as the summary above but anything else is a spoiler 

8. Let Go the Tide by GreatLoversLieInHell, 32k, https://archiveofourown.org/works/46708438 

Given Summary: Six months after Itachi's death, Sasuke visits the island her brother used to spend every summer at. All she wants is peace and quiet, to meditate on the future her parents have laid out for her. On her first day there, she meets a girl with wild blonde hair who won't leave her alone.

My Summary: Lesbians sns, surfer AU, The Sea is a principal character in this and as someone who grew up alongside the ocean I appreciate this, sooo beautiful 

9. Of Fire, Water, and Glass by cyberflamingo, 19k https://archiveofourown.org/works/34826755 

Given Summary: “Let me worship you,” Naruto breathed. 

For one long moment, Naruto’s eyes reflected the continuous, lazy rotation of pinwheels. Red against blue. Fate within the unknown. Silence and anticipation. But then the pinwheels faded to black, and Sasuke uttered a phrase that would seal their connection forever. 

“Are you offering yourself?” 

- The god of Misfortune fulfills a child's wish and receives faith, loyalty, and a fellow god in return. 

My summary: see above I cannot describe this without spoilers! Wonderful prose 

<3 <3 <3

[secretmellowblog]

Valjean + 7 & 8 (game ask)

For this ask meme: #7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? And #8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Thanks for the ask!!

#7: a thing fandom does with this character that you like:

I love fix-its (I just want him to live!) it’s great when Jean Valjean gets to have a happier ending than his bleak passive suicide.  

Fics that explore Jean Valjean interacting with Other Characters (outside of Cosette) are also  great. He has such a narrow social circle in canon — he has basically no friends outside of his daughter— so playing him off other characters is really fun. It’s especially fun if (as is canonically accurate) he struggles very hard to interact with people and comes across as deeply weird. Jean Valjean tends to get “trapped in his own head” a lot, and exploring the relationships he could have with other characters– or just how other characters would be utterly baffled by him, while viewing him from the outside– is always great.

I also love fandom stuff that acknowledges how deeply strange he is. Any fandom stuff that features Jean Valjean breaking into people’s houses to give them money is always chefs kiss.

#8: A thing fandom does with this character that you despise:

I  was originally going to answer this with a whole passionate overlong essay about fandom tropes around Jean Valjean that bother me, but…I’ll keep it short lol because it's not really a big deal, haha. Like, I don’t want to be mean or unfair, and I like being in a fandom so large I can afford to be picky about characterization. I don’t like holding fanfic  to a higher moral standard than big “professional” media properties that are doing far worse. The most popular Les Mis fanfic on ao3 has maybe a couple thousand readers; BBC 2019, which is an utterly vile horrible conservative take on Les Mis and on Jean Valjean in particular, had millions of viewers. Fanfic writers have no budget and often no editors, so we don’t deserve to be held to the same level of scrutiny as massive projects like a tv show . Like I don’t want to overstate harm– fanfic is fine! Les mis fanfic is a tiny niche of a niche, and so small no one’s really being hurt by it. If I don’t like something, I don’t read it, and all that. I'm not here to be the fandom police XD.

And I really don’t like ever positioning myself as an “authority” on these characters or the person who does them “correctly,” because I’m not. 

That being said, if I were to be petty and summarize my personal Problems with the way Jean Valjean is often handled in fandom really briefly–

My core "pain" is that I feel like a lot of fans miss that the police are the villains of Les Mis. The police are the villains of Jean Valjean’s story and they’re the villains of Javert’s. Prison is evil. The carceral system is cruel and unjust, as a system. It is not a problem of Javert “not being nice enough to Valjean,” the entire system is fundamentally violent and vile and needs to be burned to the ground.  acab, and all.

I think part of why that gets missed is that many fans are laser-focused only on Javert–  and often on a highly specific musical-inspired fanon reading of Javert where he Did Nothing Wrong. (I'm not throwing shade, this was kinda also me when I was 13 lolllll.) And then they don’t analyze Jean Valjean anywhere near as deeply, if they analyze him at all, and don't pick up on the larger themes of the novel. And that's a shame, because Javert’s characterization will also suffer if you don’t have that wider context! I think the “problem” is just that if you acknowledge the complexity of Jean Valjean's character and his trauma, if you recognize how deeply Jean Valjean was ripped apart by prison,  how he has not recovered from his imprisonment and never will, and how he doesn’t view the criminal justice system with ‘total forgiveness’ but actually does have complicated overwrought repressed useless grief and rage over the system that abused him and the injustices he’s undergone, how he actually doesn’t like Javert on a personal level and only saved his life out of the same pity he would’ve shown to any other person in Javert's position–  it is much harder to see Javert as a Good Person and the police as a Good Institution. So as a result fanfic!Jean Valjean often  kinda has to be written as a bland saint patiently agreeing that Cops Are Great and Prison is Fine and Javert Did Nothing Wrong...because if he isn’t, the author has to acknowledge Javert has hurt Jean Valjean in ways he will never heal from, and question the morality of both  Javert and the police. 

 I think lots of people take the line “there’s nothing that I blame you for/you’ve done your duty nothing more” from the musical, interpret it as a sincere compliment, and then graft that interpretation onto the book— to the point of making it the entire core of Jean Valjean’s character. But Jean Valjean complimenting Javert with the Nuremberg defense (“it was all fine because you were doing your job”), and this being portrayed as Correct and Wise, is just not a compelling take on the character to me XD. I do not like it all. So I just don’t read fics that head in that direction. I'm not gonna content-police people, I just don't read it, haha.

I’ve been recommended multiple fics where Jean Valjean becomes Javert’s cop partner, or enthusiastically encourages him to return to the police, and it’s always a big “He Would Not Say That.” XD Jean Valjean, the most well-known victim of police brutality in the history of fiction, the character whose entire personality is built on the trauma of surviving incarceration and attempting to save others from his hellish fate, would never enthusiastically participate in incarcerating people–not even if they were  ‘bad’ people! It’s literally the core of his whole weird little Deal. it’s his whole schtick. 

And it's not that I hate Valvert either. I actually think Valvert can be very compelling-- and also funny, which is the most important thing. But part of the reason I’ve often stayed away from the valvert  fandom despite enjoying the Funky Weird Little Relationship is that I’ve had lots of trouble finding fic that gives Jean Valjean an actual life or character outside of Javert, or that also acknowledges the anti-police anti-prison themes of the novel.  But! There are a tiny handful of people who do it occasionally! And that's enough.

And again, this isn’t like the biggest deal or anything! I’m not a fandom cop trying to police what people write, especially because most people are just extrapolating from the musical/lots of people change their minds on characterizations over time/it’s hard to write without a team of editors to help you navigate things. These are just some fandom trends I personally don’t like, that I personally avoid,  and that I hope change over time….so that I have more fanfic to read that lines up with my own feelings on the characters XD.

But yeah those are my (abbreviated) years of spicy fanon Jean Valjean hot takes!!!

[judgeverse]

thanks @bagheerita for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

91 for my SG pseud, 104 total

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

665,899. 276,600 of which were in 2023. lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate baby!!! specifically, stargate universe. occasionally also sg1.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it's all old mortal kombat fic; the top two have 323 and 199 respectively (and the #1 is so successful because the ship got big after the latest MK game; given that I'd essentially made it up at the time of writing, I got lucky lmao). the others are double digit kudos :/

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

ALWAYS, at least for stargate fic. love to talk about the brainrot and make friends

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably this one, an installment of a rush/ba'al AU where ba'al dies for a while there. kind of a way to deal with grief about cliff simon too. hurts sometimes

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think I have any that are legitimately happy endings and not bittersweet, but probably this one for SGU week, in which the crew actually gets to go home (and rush eventually finally realizes they don't hate him)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not yet lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yes, frequently. mostly rush/ba'al which is kind of my thing (and it's a trans rush AU, suggested by another nb sgu friend and it lodged in my brain and wouldnt let go). so that's pretty much all I write for the filth side of things now

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not really. I figure if I'm putting in enough effort to cross something over and fuse the concepts, at that point I may as well write an original story instead (and often do)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no but I'm down to do it!!!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

rush/ba'al, their dynamic is [chefs kiss] and has made me write more this year than possibly EVER before (it kicked off my 2023 writing which is currently at about 418,000 words) so thanks boys

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

destiny ao3 au lmao where the crew all writes fic to pass the time. love it but other fics keep taking priority

16. What are your writing strengths?

DIALOGUE AND BANTER i could let them talk all day long and I usually do.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

generally speaking, anything that's action-driven with no dialogue. I always gotta let them talk. it's embarrassing how much dialogue my nsfw fics have

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn't tbh

19. First fandom you wrote for?

EVER ever? honestly not sure. current ao3 account? mortal kombat

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

this one's got it all - the SGU crew, goa'uld shenanigans, ba'al and rush being deliciously bitchy, just everything i write about is mixed together in this one lol

tagging @nonbinaryezrabridger @aintgonnatakethis @b2em-ho @galadhir @anomalousrobot @mx-seraph

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Ten Fics, Ten Lines Snippets

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a [few] line(s), and share it! then tag 10 people.  

(tagged by @femme--de--lettres and currently going through my back log of tag games; this is lucky because i have exactly 10 fics on ao3(( well i guess 9, but like close enough)) , but also terrible because uh, this means i have to go through the fics that shall not be. named.

Well go from New to Old, yes? and i am tagging all my mutals in this <3. tag tag tag you're it.)

Work in Process (taken from a chapter that isn't published yet):

That of the habits Sirius was trying to fall back into, wishing for Remus's body on the left side of the bed and longing to hold him was the first to make itself at home again. Not well-rounded meals, not consistent showers--but clinging to someone for comfort.

2. postcard from paris

Alcohol rushing through his veins, reminding him of the first night they had been in this position, and Remus didn’t care. He didn't care then, and he couldn't be fucked to care now. James leaned forward, teeth nipping at Remus’s earlobe gently, and a shiver went up Remus’s spine.

3. 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration

It was going to be the deal breaker.

So was the shoot for the moon, even if you’ll miss you’ll land among the stars he heard the fourth time they were together, Remus face down in a pillow, arse up, pushing back against James’s hips even as such horrors were being spilled from his boyfriends mouth.

4. No Matter the Wreckage

“They haven’t gone into your room,  you know,” Regulus’ voice said to his back as he started down the opposite end of the hall, “They haven’t touched your chair at the dining table. Father is in his study a lot more…” Sirius stopped, taking a moment to remind himself that this was his brother and if he was going to pick a fight, it wasn’t going to be in with him.

5. Fault Lines

It took time, but Sirius had slowly started building a life that looked a little less like distractions and a little more like moving on--from grief, from hurt, from a lifetime of disappointment at the hands of people he thought he could count on.

6. ten reasons (to go to michigan)

Remus felt his face flush and he closed his eyes giving himself permission, just this once to revel in the high. As much as being in his apartment made him remember dark and stormy days of the past, something occurred to him. 

It had been over a month, and Benjy hadn’t crossed through Remus’ mind.

Because instead of heartbreak.

Instead of counting up an invisible list of crimes and fighting in courtrooms…

Remus could think of Sirius.

7. Carry Me Away

Half the pizza was gone, and so was half the day. So was the hesitancy Sirius had felt to touch the other boy. Even the days prior, Sirius was always wary (without the help of alcohol) to initiate contact. Unsure if it would be okay, unsure if he was doing it right. But when he saw Remus inhale deeply, or whisper Sirius into his mouth, Sirius knew he was onto something. 

8. *grumbles, whispering* From Fire to Fire

“I don’t...I don’t think people like us get more than one shot. At love, you know?” Marlene started, “People like James and Lily? I know they’re destined to be or whatever, but they...they could have multiple loves in their lives if they wanted to. But...I don’t think we’re that lucky.”

9. Chef's Kiss

James didn’t believe in soulmates, or at least he didn’t think he did. He was raised to believe everyone's soul had met others before life on Earth and that these connections to specific souls were meant to lead you to a higher purpose and a deeper relationship. When he met Sirius, he was convinced this was one of them (his Mum even supported this idea, convinced of the same thing). But there were tiers and layers and despite believing deeply that people were meant to find each other, James had lost the faith behind the idea of a one true love kind of soulmate. But the way Lilys hand lit his entire body on fire, made him rethink everything he thought he knew.

10. (scrapping from tumblr here) mercy-- a petunia x sirius fic

The events of the day came back to him in waves, Sirius not believing it was actually his body sitting at the table with Petunia Dursley discussing her dead husband and son as if he wasn’t lying between his teeth. It wasn’t often Sirius said thank you to his parents—actually, it was hardly ever, Sirius mostly cursing them and wishing their rules and influence away—but he was grateful for all the time he spent lying as a child.

[waifuofbath]

For the character ask game, how about Lara, as a treat?

Thanks a lot for this treat that I have been hoarding for a bit!

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: The way that she is dealing with grief (Not Grief, you know, but how she processes the fact that she is still mourning her father). In both P1 and P2 even if there are quite a few changes between the versions. It's just... It rings very true, at least to my experience. Trying to give yourself to others as a way to not deal with the pain you are going through. Man. That is something. (And do not even get me started on the uglier side of it we see in Pathologic 2 that is *chef's kiss*)

least favorite thing about them: Can I say the way fandom girlbossifies her?

favorite line: Loving thy neighbor is a gift. Hatred is hard work.

brOTP: Her groups with the Apple Basket Gang and the Aristocratic Ladies tbh. This one also pertains to headcanon territory but I like her having a friendship with Dankovsky prior to the events of the game, based mostly on the fact that both of them are military brats.

OTP: LaraBlock, that was very obvious, even if I am also partial to LaraArtemy and LaraAglaya.

nOTP: I don't have a NOTP per se but I do have a pair of ships that fandom has soured me slightly against, and those are YuliaLara and LaraStakh. I'm working to change that, though.

random headcanon: She learned how to draw thanks to Farkhad.

unpopular opinion: Killing Block will not give her the happy ending she deserves. And it is not an empowering moment. It will only bring her either death or further trauma.

song i associate with them: Silent all these years, by Tori Amos

favorite picture of them: When we first find her in the Shelter and she is not with her arms crossed yet.

[keepfight1n]

thoughts about the ep that i want to put somewhere . . .

i know people have said that the show has made joel more 'soft', but i love that he gets to be a bit more human. he's aging, he's weaker than he once was, and he's dealing with grief that just keeps building. this idea of failure follows him until his death in the game, and i love that it's become such a main part of his story in the show.

b.ella r.amsey is also acting their little ass off. knowing that joel is the weaker of the two (also knowing that joel is grasping for excuses to rid himself of this failure and fear) and still choosing him anyway because he is her / their safety . . . chef's kiss. b.ella is incredible.

the amount of tlou2 'easter eggs' that we got quite literally made my heart sing. i love that we got to see jackson this early in the timeline.

i also think getting to see jackson & getting to see tommy thrive . . . only speaks more to joel's sense of failure and impending doom. his brother has been living a life he's only dreamed of. now they're expecting, and joel is reminded again of how different his life has panned out and how alone he's been. i can absolutely understand some hatred & jealously from joel's end at discovering this beautiful life before he's able to tap into any feelings of happiness and pride for his brother.

DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT JOEL SEEING 'SARAH' AND HIS 'GRANDDAUGHTER' BEFORE REALIZING HOW STUPID HE IS FOR THINKING THAT WAS WHO HE WAS ACTUALLY SEEING. ( alexa, play 'that should be me' by justin bieber........ )

the way ellie just really hypes him up for being a contractor. bless.

getting to see p.edro smile when he first hugs tommy was a gift from the gods.

g.abriel l.una is incredibly attractive & somehow sounds exactly like j.effrey p.ierce sometimes. one more chef's kiss.

and lastly . . . the way this show continues to address that ellie is a teenage girl traveling with a man who would have no idea how to comfortably talk about / deal with periods is hilarious and so real. maria is the realest for that diva cup.

[obeythebutler]

They’re open? They’re OPEN!!!

Okay can I request an angst where mc has a terminal illness and they suddenly pass away and Mammon just shuts down over the sudden loss of his mate and the grief that comes with that while his brothers do the best that they can to try and help him through it and get back to the way he was before mc did?

I’m sorry I’m just in my feels over this idea and you’re angst is just *chef’s kiss* amazing.

At first, Mammon refused to accept it.

He had shook his head vigorously as his eyes widened in disbelief. "This isn't happening," He had muttered, but seeing your frail form on the bed made him snap back to reality.

For a moment, the demon stood still, not a word escaped his mouth as he stared at you, his lower lip trembled until he finally broke in sobs.

Then came the anger.

The normally tolerant demon was nowhere to be found, utterly hellbent on searching for the filth that dared to commit such an act. But there was no one to blame, for illness isn't caused by a person.

He had to watch, every day, as you grew weaker and paler, the light in your eyes diminishing each passing day.

Until it dissapeared.

They could all hear the unhinged screams that tore themselves from the demon's throat, each guttural noise wrenching their heart further. Mammon screamed and screamed, wept and wailed, until his throat simply couldn't anymore.

He remainded eerily quiet after that, choosing to stay in your shared room for days. His brothers let him, leaving meals at his door.

It only grew worrying when Mammon didn't come out of the room after a week.

Lucifer caught him in the act of bargaining with a witch, who herself sadly denied that dead souls can't be brought back.

But Mammon never stopped trying.

He made deals and false promises, searched through texts and books, going so far as to even break into Satan's room. The blonde demon didn't say a word, but he forcefully grabbed the book from Mammon when he tried to run away with it.

Soul Bartering Between Realms, it read in big, bold letters.

His brothers found him crying on the roof that day. Each sob shook his shoulders violently as he wept, a hand slapped over his mouth in an attempt to muffle any noises that might alert his brothers. From what they could make out from the garbled whimpers and sobs, he was muttering your name, each syllable on his tongue breaking into whimpers.

Beel was the first to run as he gently cradled his brother, not a word escaping the ginger-haired demon as he tried to offer what comfort he could. Asmodeus and Satan ran too, rubbing circles in his trembling back as they stood quietly.

Belphegor went next, placing his pillow next to Mammon as he hooked an arm around his waist, and his ear on his chest, with each sob that racked out of his body breaking the demon's heart even further. Leviathan hesitated before kneeling next to his weeping brother, holding his hand gently as if it were made of glass, trying to offer what comfort he could.

Lucifer was the last.

He cradled Mammon's head and tucked it in his own chest, feeling the tears that dampened the cloth, feeling the pain his brother was going through, each sobs and broken syllable further making his own heart mourn.

And for a while the family cried on the roof, just like they did after the Fall.

Beelzebub cooked meals and ensured Mammon ate, even if small bites, but ate to maintain his health. Belphegor slept alongside him on nights when the nightmares were the worst, casting a spell to stave off the worst parts.

Asmodeus ensure that he took care of himself, inviting his brother to bathe and washed his hair in the tub. Levi often played video games with him, purposely losing even if it meant seeing the barest of smiles on the demon's face.

Lucifer supervised intently, sometimes taking Belphegor's place and napping with Mammon instead. He would tell him stories and legends, a habit of the Celestial days,

He cried with him. They all did. They all miss you.

You would have wanted Mammon to move on, and live happily. That's what Lilith wanted too, and you do so too.

The brothers created a memorial of you, with all your belongings and possessions, whatever remained, and visited to inform you of the latest updates taking place. From Fangol games to the latest fashion trends, to even the nightmares, they bared it all to you.

It became a routine, slowly evolving as the brothers developed their own unique pattern to come and visit your resting place.

This time, it's Mammon.

The demon stays quiet as he places a fresh bouquet of flowers on your grave, and removed the old ones. His eyes travel over the stone inscription intently, noticing every word and every scratch.

This time, a dandelion is growing near your grave.

A bittersweet smile forms on his face on seeing the flower, and he shakes his head before kneeling on the earth. Mammon runs a hand through his hair, preparing himself to speak.

"I saw you in my dream," He mutters, and closes his eyes. If he focuses hard enough, the image of you standing in front of him almost seems real.

But it isn't.

Mammon doesn't say that though. "You were smiling as you told me to move on after—after you—" The demon clenches his fists as he bites on his lower lip to divert the pain and focus on not breaking out in sobs.

"You wanted me to move on and be happy."

His voice shakes. "I find it hard," He confesses, falling silent as he stares at the stone, almost as if expecting a reply to come from the grave.

It doesn't, of course.

"But I've been trying. I'm trying because it's what you would have wanted." His voice falls silent at the end, and for a brief moment his eyes flicker to the trees whose leaves shake because of a breeze.

"Ah, I'm sorry for zoning out over there." He chuckled softly, the noise sounding more forced than happy. "I made a memorial of you with my brothers. They all visit you everyday. Sometimes it's Beel, sometimes Lucifer and sometimes Belphegor."

He giggles, remembering the sight of the youngest passed out next to your memorial, a sight endearing and saddening on its own. They all miss you.

"It's not the same without you." He mumbles, his eyes gazing over the stone that has your name inscribed. That was the same stone he wept on the night when you were buried.

"But we've been trying. Beel won a Fangol tournament recently, and he ordered your favourite pasty from Madam Screams as his reward." Mammon shakes his head, smiling as he remembers Beel's insistence on not eating them until he got home and shared them with his brothers.

He blinks away the tears.

"I don't mean to ramble, but what I'm trying to say is, what I'm trying to say is that," The demon stalls, pausing as he takes in a sharp breath. He exhales, finding stability in that action. "We're happy."

Happy because we've started to move on.

Happy because Mammon's made peace with your death.

Happy because those were your last words: "To find happiness and move on."

It has been tough, Mammon admits. There were plenty of tears and restless nights, but his brothers helped him. Your spirit helped too.

When a crow comes to rest on his shoulder, Mammon chuckles softly, petting the bird with a finger as they both stare at your resting place.

But the bird takes off from his shoulder. Mammon opens his mouth to speak, but the complaint falls silent as he stares at the what his crow has done.

A single flower rests at your grave. Red carnation, the one which Mammon gave you on your first date.

It's a miracle the crow remembers, but Mammon doesn't protest.

[socialistexan]

Speaking of games, if any of y'all need a good thing to distract you because again *gestures broadly at the world* I highly recommend Gris.

Devolver Digital is having a sale and it's only $4.24 on both Switch and Steam (I don't know about other platforms).

It's a fantastic game, one of my absolute favorites. The art style is breathtaking and the way sound and music are used is just *chef kiss*. The platforming is engrossing, though I wouldn't call it super challenging. It was almost therapeutic for me.

Though I will warn, it deals with loss, grief, and trauma, though it's about the process of healing from those things. It does have imagery that isn't, like, explicit, but evocative (?) I guess of dealing with trauma and grief (things like crying statues, things losing color, inner struggles manifesting as metaphorical obstacles).

[theravennest]

Let’s Talk About Shang Chi...

I just got back from seeing Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. I had a great time with it. Just a lovely experience.

The fights were dope. The music was rocking. The actors’ performances really sold me on everything. I loved all the Xianxia elements. Y’all know fantasy worlds are my JAM!

But it was the characters that really drew me in. Every one of them were pitch perfect for me. The final act got a little jumbled, imo, but the characters and their dynamics were so good that it was enough for me to completely forgive and overlook the somewhat messy final battle. 

The story had a lot of heart. It was so personal and so anchored in real emotions. I highkey fell in love with all the main characters. I love their journeys and their complex  and grounded relationships with each other. I really liked the movie’s examination of grief, loss, and pain and the lengths people will go to in the wake of being overwhelmed by those feelings.

Let’s dig into it! This is gonna be a whole discombobulated mess, I just know it. lmao

***Spoilers below the cut!***

I really felt for Shang Chi, Xialing, and Wenwu struggling to figure out how to be a family again after they were all broken in different ways by the loss of Mama Ying Li. And each one of them trying in their own way to heal from it, some to extremely destructive degrees. 

How Wenwu treated his kids after being consumed by grief and violence was so utterly messed up but in two completely different ways. 

He treated Xialing like she was anathema, like she was literally nothing. Even when they were older and she had grown into an adult, he barely spoke to her in the entirety of the movie, could hardly even look at her. Partially because she looked like her mom and he retreated utterly from the pain of that, and partially because he constantly underestimated her in favor of her brother. This, of course, seeded the resentful tension between Xialing and Shang Chi from the start.

I’m a real sucker for sibling dynamics, as you all know. They’re my favorite types of family-oriented stories. (Side note, I really love the way the MCU has dedicated several stories to sibling relationships. It’s like my favorite thing in the MCU as a whole.)

I completely ate up the harsh and tricky relationship between Xialing and Shang Chi. Shang Chi completely let her down when they were kids, for her POV. (Not really his fault, he was a scared and traumatized 15 year old. Totally understandable.) But there is something to be said about the fact that she was also a child. A child dealing with her mom’s death too AND her dad’s aloofness. Then she was utterly abandoned by her brother. It’s no wonder she never quite forgives him, even though they mostly team up in the movie. They still have a lot to work out between them.

I really loved that she took on leadership of the Ten Rings at the end. The moment Shang Chi said she was “dismantling” their dad’s empire, I knew what was up. Though, the softy in me does hope that eventually they can find true reconciliation between them. I’m excited to see what we’ll see from her in future movies as a potential enemy of Shang Chi. It’ll be really interesting to see how Shang Chi tackles having to go up against his little sister.

And Shang Chi!!! OMG! Let’s talk Shang Chi and Wenwu now. When Wenwu drop kicked him into the ground and started the blame game for Mama Ying Li’s death like bro!!! I was so heated. He was 7 years old. A whole baby! She died because your thousand years of violence and conquering shit finally came home to roost. 

But that one line when Wenwu said Shang Chi’s 7 year old self “just stood there and watched” while his mom was killed actually revealed so much about Wenwu’s character. (The cutting way Tony Leung, a literal legend, delivered that was masterful, btw.) 

I actually think that it was the first time Wenwu has ever verbalized that he blamed Shang Chi for Ying Li’s death. Like maybe he’s always felt that way and all this time he was partially punishing Shang Chi for what he thinks of as a failure to protect or help the woman who meant so much to them.

Like, yes, he was training Shang Chi to take his place with him in the Ten Rings as an assassin but maybe he also wanted Shang Chi to kill his mom’s murderer as penance for letting her die in the first place.

Of course, it’s clear to see that Wenwu was absolutely shifting his own feelings of conflicting guilt onto his kids. Guilt that his past as a warlord is what got her killed. But also guilt that he put down the Ten Rings in the first place when if he had stayed a warlord, this never would have happened. But also the bone deep knowledge that if he hadn’t put down the Rings, Ying Li might never have stayed with him and loved him in the first place.

When Shang Chi threw it back at him that Ying Li probably wouldn’t love the person Wenwu had returned to, Wenwu looked so shook up. Phew! Perfect emoting from Tony Leung in that moment.

Honestly, Wenwu was having a very tragic and confusing time of it in this movie. Which is probably how that creature from beyond was able to find a crack in his psychic defenses and lure him to the gate. I had a lot of empathy for him even though I disagree so much with what he did to his kids, emotionally.

I really respect the fact that the movie never lost that sense of compassion for all of their feelings including Wenwu. I also respect that the movie really gave them space to grieve not just the loss of Ying Li but also the resulting dissolution of their happy family.

It’s just too bad that Wenwu’s grief made him push his kids away instead of pulling them closer. He completely emotionally abandoned them. A thousand years of power and supremacy yet he was broken because he never in that time fully learned how to process his emotions in a healthier way and his kids paid the price. They could’ve leaned on each other and on the love they found with Ying Li to help them get through but alas that’s the tragedy of the movie. 

I really wanted somehow for Shang Chi to make it through to his dad before he went too far to come back again. I genuinely did not want to see Wenwu die at the end. I wanted him to live and see Shang Chi’s changing dynamic with his father continue. I wanted to see him finally acknowledge his daughter as his true heir and see her accomplishments (dark though they will likely become considering the “softer” version of her is the one that ran an illegal fight club in Macao lmao).

Though I am happy Shang Chi got through to him enough at the end for Wenwu to save Shang Chi’s life, willingly pass the rings onto his son, and somewhat accept his own death after a thousand years of life. That was such a poignant moment between them. And I wonder if in that instant, Wenwu had the thought that in dying he’d at least see Ying Li again.

(Side note: I really hope his soul and the souls of everyone that got eaten were freed when Shang Chi killed the monster. I really want them to be able to move on to the next phase of existence. I really hope they weren’t destroyed after being eaten. I want Wenwu to reunite with Ying Li even in the afterlife, gotdamnit! Sue me, I’m a romantic.)

Let’s talk Simu Liu’s performance here for one second. He was incredible throughout. I completely bought into this strange but so real feeling that while he has a lot of anger towards his father, so much hurt, he also felt a lot of heartache and love for who Shang Chi wanted him to be. And the strange desire to want to help a man who emotionally scarred him so badly.

Simu really brought both sides of Shang Chi’s journey to life. Like, he was tying to find his own path, reconcile with the mistakes he’s made in the past (his sister, killing his mom’s murderer), and facing up against his father’s ideals and expectations. But there was also a side of Shang Chi’s journey that was about finally understand both his sister and his father’s point of views, and of learning/embracing his mother’s history. 

That moment by the lake when he revealed to Katy that he had actually killed the man who killed his mother. Whew boy! The emotions were so poignant. Simu Liu played it like *chef’s kiss* beautiful.

Speaking of character choices, I really rate this decision to have him actually go through with the assassination. It puts Shang Chi in an interesting position emotionally and somewhat morally. Instead of having his breaking point be him unable to kill as his father wishes, it’s instead the feeling of guilt and shame that he actually did kill the man.

I wonder if he felt a sense of satisfaction before the disgust and shame settled in. Because Shang Chi literally watched his mom die, he probably initially wanted to help his father hunt down the man because of that bit of dark need for vengeance. Until he got it, and felt ashamed to fully face his mother’s memory afterwards.

I’m interested to see how future Shang Chi movies and Simu will dig into and unpack that little bit of darkness these events instilled in the character.

Let’s talk Ying Li for a second here. This woman was incredible. An incredible martial artist, for sure, a mystical guardian and warrior...but she was also just an incredible person in general. Mama Ying Li was so self-assured, so steadfast in her convictions. She struck me as someone who knows exactly what she wants and is never afraid to reach for it.

Fala Chen portrayed her with such grace, warmth, and strength of character. It was extremely easy to see why Wenwu fell in love with her. She met Wenwu, a literal thousand year old warlord, and through shear strength of character led him to put down his weapons and his empire to make a home with her.

This man threw away his entire shadow army of assassins, threw away his whole plan to literally demolish her village in the pursuit of power...in order to play Dance Dance Revolution with her and their kids. (The highlight of their romance and the family flashbacks, for me, tbh.) 

And I know it’s not necessarily...positive BUT there is something...hmmmm, crunchy in the fact that Ying Li so completely altered Wenwu’s life by simply loving him that when she died he was willing to raze the whole world to get her back, damn the consequences.

Trying to properly explore toxic and negative turns in previously loving family dynamics is such a difficult task to take on. I really liked the complexity of the Xu family. All the actors really sold the family side of things. It was an almost tangible thing how much you could see how the love they felt had turned bitter and painful over the years.

The final battle was epic and mind blowing (There was a fucking DRAGON flying around for gods’ sake!) but I do wish it had stayed a little more grounded for longer in the beginning of it when the Ten Rings were fighting the Ta Lo warriors. I wanted to see more of that fight before they had the turn to becoming temporary allies against the soul suckers. It became a little too much of a CGI mash, for me, in some parts of it.

Still, the emotional beats held and the core of the story of this grieving family trying to hold on to the tatters of their world stayed consistent even through the final battle. I can forgive a lot because of the strong sense of character and connection there.

Plus, it’s a comic book movie. Spectacle is the name of the game and at least this one had cool fantasy beasts and dope fight choreo. 

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Let’s wrap it up here. Suffice it to say, I had a wonderful time with this movie. I’m ready for the next one!

[thomas-jefferson-miku-binder]

ok so i’d like to talk about something. with Wilbur being revived, I saw one post in particular that talked about how it's bad that they keep reviving characters instead of “giving them a satisfying ending” and “working in developing the undeveloped living ones”.

a lot of the times i see takes like these, they come from people who don’t quite understand what the Dream SMP is all about. it’s not a TV show or a movie. it’s... it’s like a bunch of friends playing RPG in their basement.

in D&D, the objective is not necessarily to win, but to create a good story together. of course, it sucks if your character dies, but there will always be other campaigns. the dream smp is something along these lines, except the match never ends and there’s no chance to play again. and you don’t want that, because playing and acting is fun! because it’s an amazing project you love and are a part of. who wouldn’t want that?!

people who treat the Dream SMP as a Hollywood movie often don’t have a lot of experience with these sort of games (and don’t understand that not everything that happens is canon. i.e.: Tubbo killing an endermen in front of Ranboo). if you view it as a movie, you will find things to be pissed and disappointed about. that’s not what made the Dream Smp popular in the first place. this genre of roleplaying game is so special because it allows the players to mess around, to literally create stuff with the community and give us numerous POVs. there’s characters that basically started with fanon lore and went from there. hell, pantstwt basically bullshitted Connor lore into canon lol.

and allows characters to have as much screen time as the streamer desires etc etc

by the way, none of the resurrections that happened thus far were lazily written.

Tommy's death was so important for his character and for basically everyone around the server. it established Dream's power, unpredictability and made a throwback to the Revive Book, relevant part of the lore since the Manberg vs. Pogtopia conflict. it showed how far down the Eggpire people were. it made us see how Puffy's anger could be dangerous, how she’s willing to sacrifice everything she has for the ones she love. we got to see Tubbo learning to deal with grief once again and it helped make the syndicate's views on Tommy a bit clearer. I won’t even start talking about Jack or Sam or Ranboo or Quackity, otherwise I’d be here all day. the main point is: it's not a “just because” or “just for the shock” thing. it had a motive and an essencial impact on the storyline.

ok, now to goatman. as of today, 28/04, Schlatt has not been resurrected but it is implied that he will be. even then, solely the possibility of him being revived already was so important to Quackity's character. it was the reason Quackity started torturing Dream in the first place. it also helped establish his and Qackity's relationship a little better and how much impact he has over Q still, not mattering if he’s alive or not.

Jack's resurrection was the only one of the bunch that seemed a bit forced and desperate at the begging, but the way cc!Jack turned this around still makes me speechless. his character is so so well-written and Jack can be such a good actor. while most of the resurrections were important to the people surrounding the now undead person, Jack's was all about personal growth, dealing with rejection, loneliness, jealousy... chef's kiss

and oh boy, let’s talk about Wilbur. my man literally just got revived and already started causing some funky little commotions around town. even before today, the attempts to bring Wilbur back explored so many characters. Eret, Philza, Tommy, Tubbo, Fundy, Niki... I’m excited to see what the future holds

about the undeveloped character stuff, which I'll consider it means “haven’t had much lore til now”, I'm not sure I understand what you mean. everyone has been getting so much lore lately. Hannah just arrived and she’s so well-written and interesting. Foolish, Skeppy, Ant, Purpled, Hbomb, George, Connor... I think it’s more of a who-are-you-watching thing than the characters being underdeveloped.

ANYWAYS,

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

[readingreylo]

Valentine's Day Reylo Fic Recs

It has been a dark and cold winter and reading about these two idiots has been keeping me sane. Here are some romantic and Valentine themed fics to warm the cockles of your heart. No surprises here - these are all Modern AU ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Image by @m1ssjess

Send a Little Love My Way by dawninthemtn | Teen | oneshot | 4k | modern AU | Valentine's Day | Strangers to friends | Ben POV | "Marketing executive Ben and mailroom clerk Rey spend a lonely Single's Awareness Day going through Ben's care package from his mother and make a special Valentine's Day connection along the way."

In Full Bloom by deedreamer (need ao3 account to read) |  @deedreamer | Teen | Oneshot | 10k | Modern AU | single dad Ben Solo | florist Ben Solo |  Multi POV | Highschool teacher Rey receives a mysterious bouquet of flowers. It might have been a delivery error, but her attraction the florist is no mistake.

Something Stupid by HarpiaHarpyja |  @thisgarbagepicker | Teen | 8k | Oneshot | Modern AU | Friends to lovers | idiots in love | rey loves baked alaska | Rey POV | Good friends, Ben and Rey, always spend Valentine's together: at their favourite restaurant, exchanging cheesy cards and people watching. but this year Ben has a 'real date' and Rey doesn't know how to feel about it.

Lay All Your Love On Me by walkingsaladshooter | Explicit | Oneshot | 6k | Modern AU | Friends-with-benefits to lovers | smut | Multi POV | "In which Rey and Ben decide they don't want to bother with Valentine's Day hookups."

Single Riders Only by kaybohls | @kaybohls | Explicit | 16k | complete | modern Au | Disneyland | Valentine's Day | fake/pretend relationship | strangers to lovers | one-night-stand | a love letter to the parks | smut | Ben POV | Ben is dragged to Disneyland as a 3rd wheel on Valentine's day. When he keeps bumping into a cute Disney-afectionado he realizes his day might not be ruined after all.

Spending Valentine's Day Solo by jyn-z-solo | @jynz-andtonic | Explicit | 9k | oneshot in two parts | Modern AU | Co-workers | idiots in love | misunderstandings | First dates | smut | multi POV | "Rey has the hots for her coworker, Ben, and decides to send him a Valentine's Day card. While at the shop choosing one, she bumps into him. Too embarrassed to confess it’s for him, she lies about the intended recipient. Ben is in love with Rey and gutted the card is for someone else!"

No Chance, No Way by AttackoftheDarkCurses | Explicit | 46k | complete | modern AU | A/B/O | co-workers | journalism | Going on dates for research | Snowed in | smut | a/b/o heat/rut | Multi POV | Rey has been on so many bad dates that she barely registers when her co-worker takes her on a fantastic date. Too bad it's just research for an article he's writing...

Start Me Up, Watch Me Go by bobaheadshark | Explicit | 8k | Complete | Modern AU | Strangers to lovers | First Dates | one-night-stand?? | Mechanic!Rey | Lawyer!Ben Solo | Multi POV | "Ben Solo takes The Falcon in for maintenance on Valentine’s Day, and gets more than he bargained for when he meets firecracker mechanic Rey Johnson."

Cindereyla by ElegyGoldsmith | @elegygoldsmith | Explicit | Oneshot | 5k | Modern AU | Valentine's Masquerade Party | Cinderella elements | strangers | one-time-thing | bathroom sex | Ben POV | "In which Ben Solo has a really huge cock, and mysterious masochist "Kira" (Rey) wants to give it a ride."

Let Me Slap...With Love by starfleetjedi |  @omfgreylo | Explicit | 10k | complete | Modern AU | Boss/employee dynamic | crack | mutual pining | Smut | multi POV | "Ben receives a highly inappropriate anonymous Valentine at work, which he proceeds to accidentally forward to his assistant, Rey."

lilies of the valley (cover me with kisses, make my garden grow) by diasterisms | @kylorenvevo | Explicit | oneshot | 8k | Modern AU | Flowershop AU | Smut | Multi POV | "How do I say Fuck You in flowers!?" Ben Solo is a snobby florist, Rey is a college student. They have chemistry but Ben is a self sabotaging idiot.

Romantic Fic's

Not necessarily Valentine's Day themed, but some *chef kiss* fics with super satisfying romance. Some are smutty, some are not.

Sip the Honey Sweet by dietplainlite | General | 14k | complete | Historic AU | 1900's | Prince Edward Island | Jewish Ben Solo | School teacher Rey | story within a story | falling in love | heartbreak | reconcilliation | HEA | Rey POV | Rey catches the eye of a man no one has been able to catch. Tentative friendship blossoms into something beautiful-- but Ben's past haunts him. We accept the love we think we deserve after all.

The Idiot's Guide to Flirting by Violetwilson | Teen | 2k | Oneshot | Modern AU | strangers to lovers | idiot in love | Ben POV |  Ben sucks at flirting with the cute bookstore clerk.

The Assistant by OptimisticBeth | @optimisticsprinkles | Teen | 2k | oneshot | Modern AU | Office dynamic | awkward!Ben Solo | Multi POV | "Rey is Poe's assistant and specifically tasked with keeping Ben out of Poe's office. "

To Confess by Celia_and | Teen | 2k | oneshot | Modern AU | Friend group dynamic | college/university | multi POV | "This will finally be the night that three years of mutual pining is over for Ben and Rey, if Rose and a drinking game have anything to say about it."

From friends to this by Ever-so-reylo | @ever-so-ali | Explicit | 3k | oneshot | modern AU | falling in love | running marathons | Smut | Ben POV | snippets of Ben and Rey's relationship going from friends to something more.

Good by Ever-so-reylo | @ever-so-ali | explicit | 3k | oneshot | Modern AU | blind date | falling in love | smut | praise kink | Ben POV | Ben goes on a date with Rey just to please coworker phasma. He never in a million years expected to fall so hard.

Sweet Home by Violetwilson | @violetwilson | Explicit | 8k | oneshot | Strangers to lovers | one night stand | good samaritan | Waffle House | there was only one bed | smut | Rey POV |  Rey helps out a handsome stranger stranded in town-- by letting him sleep in her bed.

your boots beneath my bed by irridesca | @earstwo | Explicit | 11k | Oneshot | Modern AU | Ranching | Cowboys | Strangers to friends to lovers | hair braiding | smut | Rey POV | After the death of her former boss, Rey gets a job as a wrangler at Skywalker Ranch-- where she crosses paths with the prickly forman Ben Solo.

One Last Thing by Celia_and | 12k | Complete | Modern AU | Near-death-experience | co-workers | mutual pining | angst | CPR | Hospitalization | HEA | found family vibe | smut | Ben POV | Rey dies from an allergic reaction to a bee sting, thankfully her co-worker Ben knows CPR and saves her life.  As she lies in a hospital bed recovering Rey comes to a realization.

In Bloom by Celia_and | Explicit | 13k | Complete |  Modern AU | Soulmates | Ballet | falling in love | angst | Friends to lovers | smut | Rey POV | In a world where matching flower tattoos bloom on the skin of Lovers, Rey is devastated that Ben's skin remains bare.

And Closer Still Is Never Enough by lovefrompluto | Explict | 15k | oneshot | Historic AU | Royalty | Arranged marriage | strangers to friends to lovers | pining | slow burn |  Smut | Ben POV | He has put off marriage for too long and now his mother had made the choice for him: duchess Rey of Exegol. She is stranger in a strange land.

We Stand Just a Little Too Close by walkingsaladshooter | Explicit | 22k | Complete | Modern AU | Fake/pretend relationship | Friends to lovers |  smut | Alternating POV | Ben and Rey are sick of their friends teasing them about their platonic relationship-- to teach them all a lesson they decide to fake date. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that, right?

sorry, wrong number by orphan_account | Teen | 20k | complete | Modern AU | Texting | Strangers to friends to lovers | aniexty/depression/OCD | angst | falling in love | smut | Multi POV | A meme sent to the wrong number connects two lonely souls, both dealing with their own grief and challenges that will change both their lives for the better.

oh autumn, oh teakettle, oh grace by diasterisms | @kylorenvevo | Explicit | 30k | complete | Modern AU with a magical twist | Strangers to lovers | Road trip | reference to ancient greek/roman mythology | smut | Ben POV | Ben Solo, lawyer and grump, is on the work trip from hell when his whole world is flipped upside down when he meets an honest-to-god Drayd. Regina -Rey- who has been trapped in a tree for the past 200 years. Ben find himself road tripping with her across the British(?) countryside.

Just You by charcuterie | @chimichangasaredelicious | Explicit | 32k | WIP | neighbors | texting | banter | idiots in love | angst | Multi POV | Rey and Ben are two strangers across an alley way who bond over Ben's piano playing. Their souls connect before they even see each other's faces. When they finally do meet face to face sparks fly.

(won’t you let me) walk you home from school by somethingdifferent | Explicit | 130k | complete | Modern AU | Teachers | Co-workers | Enemies-to-lovers | Hate-to-love | slow burn | fuck buddies | idiots in love | smut | Ben POV | Ben is an asshole. A former lawyer, turned high school councilor who works at the prestigious private school that he, himself, was expelled from. Rey is an adorable art teacher who is everything he despises and who does not take his shit. They clash to say the least. He hates her. Then he wants to fuck her. Then he falls in love with her. If he plays his cards right he might get everything he never knew he wanted. | Jessie's note: this might be the greatest enemies-to-lovers I have ever read! The prose is top notch, the characterization is fascinating, the slow transition from hate-to-attraction-to-love is so brilliantly done.

Happy Reading!

[onebadlich]

Y'all I LOVED the campaign 2 ending of Critical Role, with the caveat that I was a little uncertain about what exactly Matt and Liam were going for with their final conversation, so I genuinely appreciated the post-episode Twitter clarification.

I loved the way Taliesin played Molly/Kingsley. Kingsley IS Molly, just with amnesia. Kingsley acted just like Molly and cheerfully stealing a ship from Fjord to turn pirate is extremely on brand. I think bringing Molly back would have brought some very complicated emotions that frankly don't fit with the catharsis of a good ending. Instead he's the same happy-go-lucky asshole they met at the circus and he gets to stay that way. Molly with his memories would not have fit in with the current Nein as well as Kingsley does, and I think just bringing him back would have taken away from a lot of the earlier narrative that focused on how to survive the grief of losing Molly in the first place. Kingsley was perfect and I continue to think Taliesin is a spectacular actor and storyteller, even if his Irish accent is abysmal.

Everything about that battle with Trent was *chef's kiss*. It was a genuinely tense fight with them being unable to even touch him, and then the collar ended up being a Chekov's gun??? You can't have a Chekov's gun in an unscripted improv show and yet somehow these assholes pulled it off and I was jumping out my seat pumping my first when Beau/Veth pulled off that maneuve to get the collar around Icky-thon's neck. Plus Essek - who was visibly terrified of Trent despite having been relatively in control during the Lucien fight - pulling off that Hold Person felt poetic in a way that was utterly delightful. And then the dice refusing to allow Caduceus's Empathize command to work was so appropriate (but what a powerful move from everyone's favorite firbolg).

Speaking of Essek, I like Shadowgast as a ship, but I wasn't as invested in it as some folks. I was happy to have it confirmed as canon, even if the in-game conversation felt like it had mixed signals (7 hours is a very long time to be playing; I don't blame them for the in-game ambiguity, especially between two characters who are not great at talking about emotions). That being said, the way Essek says "Caleb Widogast" is sexy as hell.

Yasha and Beau get a happily ever after and Yasha finally brings flowers to Zualla. Fjord and Jester get high romance and adventures on the high seas. And Veth's ending actually meant a lot to me as a parent who gave up a life of adventuring to be more present for my kid. It's rare to see that represented as anything other than sad or a prologue to them deciding they need to get back to adventuring after all. To have Veth say firmly that she wants to be with her young kid rather then go adventuring - in a show that is literally all about adventure - actually made me really happy. Especially since Sam had made it clear that was what she was going to do regardless of whether the campaign had continued for the other characters.

Matt's set up for campaign 3 was perfect. Breaking Cougnoza broke some of the chains around the Chained Oblivion. I cannot wait to see the heroes of campaign three deal with the ramifications of an unchained Tharizdun.

[rockium-z]

I ask you all questions, you are free to ignore any you wish :>

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Entity NEO is an Undertale fancomic that I definitely like a normal amount… (/j)

seriously tho this damned comic lives in my brain rent-free and unless I knock my head too hard on something and lose my memory of the entire last two years, I don’t think I’ll move on from this any time soon.

if I may derail this ask for a bit? the angst is so fucking good. the story starts out like yeah, half of everyone is dead, and the main character’s left with so much emotional baggage and regret to deal with in the aftermath, but by luck they do manage to find other people who care about them and care for them. and yeah, it doesn’t automatically solve everything with the Power of Friendship, iirc there’s a friendship that doesn’t even become an official friendship until chapter 18, and before then the main character kinda implodes twice over their feelings regarding their estranged, late cousin, and the discoveries they made about him in the meantime, and some other shit does hit the fan — but it’s the people who care about them who ultimately help them out of implosion number 2, and it’s likely because of those who care about them that drives the main character to heal and take small steps out of their corner of stewing in their own memories and guilt and move on with their life. and it’s tough. the pain and grief of losing someone you love, losing that fond image of them as well as losing your old way of living still really sucks, and somehow it just feels…authentic, in a sense. but there’s lighthearted moments too that stand out against the sadness and strike a nice balance, and especially in some of the later chapters there’s just the characters living their lives despite the shit they’ve been through. and it’s just — the comic takes a ragtag couple of characters who I didn’t know in canon beyond sad ghost, nerdy lizard with a lot of complexity going on, fabulous robot with a lot of complexity going on and sans undertale, and gives them depth and explores some really interesting themes and actually makes me like them a whole lot and root for them. I hope Napstablook gets a hug someday I am so excited to see where the story goes next you will not believe, the second I see that little notif for it I will drop everything to find out what happens to these characters. I love this fancomic so much.

Okay I swear I have other interests you can get to know me by, that one up there’s just the one I have Many Thoughts about — anyways Kirby is honestly the shit. Forgotten Land looks so fucking good and honestly the dark lore and the music of especially the later games is just *chef’s kiss*. there’s also Omori, which. uh. made me cry very very hard, and the music is also really goddamn fun and emotional and the themes of friendship and guilt are wonderful, and yeah Undertale and Deltarune are great games.

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Kirby: Honestly, I’ve always low-key wanted to be a friend to others like how Kirby is. They’re shaped like a friend and I’d kinda like to be that way, too.

Undertale: Chara’s a kid who loves their adoptive family and fucked up a bit trying to help them, and I kinda vibe with that.

Deltarune: Kris and Susie have awesome vibes and I love them both.

Touhou: Reimu just kinda chilling in her downtime is something I highkey relate to haha

Omori: Hmm tough one! I’d say Mari because honestly she’s one of my favorite characters, but I also do relate with Aubrey and her feeling of the world moving on without acknowledging past pain a lot.

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

My real name is…well it’s alright, I guess. I’m used to it. I think there might be a name that vibes with me better, but it’s not quite my screename, so no I haven’t found one yet.

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

Hmm. Probably more a human doing, tbh, and the things I do definitely make up a large part of who I am.

describe your ideal day.

Tough one, but I think my best days nowadays are when I get some substantial writing or art thing done + something that I’ve been waiting for happens, bonus if I go outside and chill a while.

are you an artist?

Yep! Don’t post here much, though.

dog person or cat person?

Both. Both is good.

inside or outdoors?

Inside mostly, but y’know when you go outside and find some sheltered area and just get to watch the rain fall? That’s the shit.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

I don’t think a different environment would’ve led to me discovering all the same things that I ended up doing, so likely no.

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Hmm. Tumblr me is a fandom-fixated little guy (gender neutral) who generally stays away from drama and is just here in her own little corner for a good time, so it’s got some things right. Though “fair representation of the real you” might be a bit of a stretch.

do you love easily?

Romantically? Definitely not.

Platonically? See how quickly I will give you a piece of my heart the second you enter my orbit.

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

I’m pretty comfortable with being afab, though how I experience it is that it’s great, barring a few things I’d like tweaked — namely, I’d prefer to not have my tits (bras are uncomfy for long stretches), and I’d very much like a way to just not have periods at all ever again. I don’t vibe with overtly feminine things or typical girl activities like shopping or whatever makeup is, but dresses are flowy and cool.

Sexuality is pretty much just aro/ace, with a bit of a lean towards girls.

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

Assuming 1 is incredibly difficult and 10 is extremely easy, I’d rate myself around 4 — I try to be incredibly patient in general, though if disturbed one too many times I tend to make myself scarce and nope outta the way.

pick one of your favorite quotes.

And you snap out of it. Or are snapped out of it. Never again will you lay a hand against yourself, not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody-anybody-who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. So long as you bear the least nibblet of love for any other creature in this dark world, though in love portions are never stingy. There are no smidgens or pinches, only rolling abundance. That’s how you acquire the resolution for survival that the coming years are about to demand. You don’t earn it. It’s given.

— an excerpt from Cherry, by Mary Karr

or this one:

If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.

— from this post