#the way this man writes is so specific it makes me go insane I can't take it

[odyhat]

I'm finally done with the Mortal Engines book and oh, boy, this took me a while because I'm such a slow reader but it was so worth it. I loved it so much and now I'm so sad.

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

[coffe-and-tea-time]

KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP! KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!

HEHEHEHEHEHE I WAS WAITING TO COOK THIS

Coffee insanely speaking! Thanks Dear, you gimme the perfect excuse to write a second part just in time although I expected the option of talking to him to come first. Not that I'm complaining lol

➤ first part

➤ here to see the other option

↪︎ ☾ I love to see you ....................................... .......................................☆ I love to hear you↩︎

TW: yandere behavior, delusions, murder of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, somewhat willing reader, kinda denying of bad decisions

Of course, the best option is to stay still, not because you are enjoying this no no, of course not...

Despite his soft voice that sounds rather familiar, you can't really recall who or where. So the safest option is just giving in at the moment, you didn't know how he could react so the safer the better, isn't it?

A smile starts creeping on your face against your will, seems like you are a rather bad actor when it's required, huh? 

“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”

Hearing a close mouthed giggle following the whisper makes your heart flutter softly, like this is some kind of really romantic scene in his mind. You were able to hear the faint sound of footsteps, he seems like he's doing a little room tour, making it a little hard to hear him.

“Oh Dear, you were researching that thing again?”

It seems like he found his way into your phone, what was he referring to?

“Why do you keep reading so much about romance? Are these words good enough to keep your focus?... Maybe I have to start practicing oral expression? It's been a while since I felt like that, last time was when you downloaded that stupid dating sim… This is truly irritating, the names they use, the way they ‘communicate’ to you; do no justice, I can express myself way better, my love, and how my eyes change when I see you walking by… just... please, I need only one chance, and I promise you won't have a room left for doubts”

Even though he made the effort to lower his voice in order to 'not wake you up', it's clear how his tone is changing with every word depending on the topic; First, a low hint of infatuation, then, what sounds closer to a plead and, finally,...was that...hopelessness?

Honestly, in a normal situation, you would be annoyed by someone searching through your phone but only an idiot would think this man would judge you even if you had pictures of dead people there, more like he's genuinely looking for more of you, despite the fact that it's really not the ‘proper’ way, you can't say it didn't work.

“My beloved Cherry, what can i do for you to talk to me? Those characters seem to steal your attention quickly… I would be lying if I sad I'm not a little hopeful because of them though, you seem to have quite the specific taste, Cherry, and I believe I fit perfectly on them... if only I could find the right moment to get into your routine, to be part of your life…”

Weird that he worries about getting to talk to you with an ideal scene but not worrying about stalking you, but maybe it's kind of understable? Since well, everyone likes to check on their crush on social media even if they take a while to actually talk, even if this guy took it a little too far, he sounds... harmless like his wish is just to win your affection…

wait a second…

Are you truly relaxed in this kind of situation? What is going on with you? Why? Why… well, can't say you didn't ask for this, even as a joke, you know this time is different because it's real, but… why does reality feel like a fantasy right now? Is it because of him?

“Huh, I come here as a routine by now, I still get the same queries, I’m dying to find the answers soon..”

Sensing that lightly sweet fragrance once more makes you know he’s approaching your ‘sleeping’ form once again, making it easy to hear him despite his constant whispering.

“Would you let me cuddle you? Would you let me kiss you? Would you mind if I were clingy? Would you mind if I get jealous? Would you mind if it seems like I already know more about you than I should? I want to hold you my dear, I can’t wait for the day I can just snuggle with you every time we want… I really can’t wait anymore, I need to be closer to you… I guess I have no option other than to talk to you out of the blue, I dislike to be so imprudent, but I promise I will make up for it once you accept me in your life, Love”

You feel a gentle hand slightly caress your cheek as a little peck is placed on your forehead, making you almost smile like a fool if it weren’t for the fact that pretending to sleep is your priority in this sweet moment, unexpected but called for moment.

“Sweet dreams Cherry, I have to prepare what I should say tomorrow, I will put all of my efforts to be my best self to make a good first impression, I hope I snatch enough of your interest to be on your mind even for a moment”

Oh, he is definitely gonna be stuck in your mind for a while, as you try your best to focus on the sounds, you catch his steps as he seems to walk away… but you keep up with your act just in case.

So, tomorrow, huh? Seems like once again you have important decisions in your hand, should you indulge in your fantasy and let him get near you? It also sounds fun to go to him first… But, maybe you should try to avoid him? It’s the safer choice, but do you really want that? He seems safe enough not to raise any of your flags, he seemed so caring for you…

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest

[from-the-clouds]

texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | chapter summary: The final chapter pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 9.2k (I love being insane) chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics. a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️

**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize I seem to lean on old familiar ways….

-May 16, 2024-

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?” 

Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.

Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”

Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.

Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air. 

“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”

“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”

“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”

Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”

“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”

“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”

“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.

“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”

“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”

“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”

You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”

“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?” 

“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.

It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.

“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”

Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”

“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.

“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.” 

“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.

“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”

“What?” you cut him off.

“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?” 

“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.

Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.

“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”

You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.

Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-May 25, 2024-

Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting. 

One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries. 

“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”

“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?” 

Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.” 

Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through. 

���Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house. 

“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”

“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.” 

Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?” 

“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.

“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”

When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between. 

“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”

“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”

“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.” 

“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?” 

You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how. 

“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.

“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”

Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.” 

“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.

With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it. 

“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly. 

Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.

Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.

You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.

But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch. 

Joel.

You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all. 

“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.

“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-

“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”

Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.” 

“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.” 

Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.” 

Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection. 

Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”

He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….” 

“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.

“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”

You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space. 

“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.” 

“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same. 

But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start. 

You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support. 

But…..

There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.

“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”

Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.” 

Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”

You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”

“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.” ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-June 20, 2024-

You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation. 

It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again. 

Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.

All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be. 

You’re overwhelmed. 

And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise. 

Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal  – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not. 

You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop. 

It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.

It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag. 

You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel can’t stop staring. 

He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened. 

It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.

Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.

When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general. 

The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd. 

Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.

“Joel!”

He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them. 

The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.

“How’s it going, kid?” 

“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.” 

“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered. 

“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.

Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.” 

He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.

“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.

“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”

“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”

“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle. 

“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.” 

Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”

“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”

“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement. 

Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.

He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone. 

Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.

“Having fun?”

You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.” 

“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him. 

Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.

You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.

“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to. 

You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.” 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.

The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.

He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street. 

“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.

Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.

“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers.  “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”

“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….” 

You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.” 

Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”

“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”  

Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.” 

“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”

“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.

“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?” 

Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”

“Sounds perfect.” 

In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either. 

You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you. 

When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin. 

Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.” 

“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.” 

Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”

“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”

“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”

Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?” 

“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I  don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”

Joel understands, and nods pensively.

“What about you?” you ask. 

“I guess I feel the same.”

That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”

Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style. 

“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”

“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.” 

“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.” 

Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him. 

“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”

Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”

“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”

“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”

He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.

He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn��t in the end. It only made things worse.”

“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”

Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”

“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."

Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable. 

His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”

“Well, Bea….was her name.” 

Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ” 

Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.” 

Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being. 

“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”

“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face. 

“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.” 

“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?

“Touche.” 

What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”

“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.” 

“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.” 

Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it. 

“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes. 

“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” 

“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.” 

“If I do, I’d hope you would.”

“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”

He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”

He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself. 

Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth. 

For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.

You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point. 

“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?” 

“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”

“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.

You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside. 

“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.

“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms. 

“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”

“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed. 

When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.

Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever. 

Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates. 

“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”

“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.” 

So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning. 

He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”

You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back. 

Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long. 

When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.

He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that. 

Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing. 

He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too. 

Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little. 

He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move. 

It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips. 

Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.

He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.

When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after. 

His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach. 

“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.” 

“We can do this again, right?” you ask. 

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”

“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-December 4th, 2026-

When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired. 

But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against. 

“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch. 

“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”

“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.

“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.

“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”

“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask. 

“Yes.”

“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book. 

“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”

“How sweet.”

“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.” 

You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes. 

“Are you tired?” you ask. 

“Always,” he says through a yawn. 

“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand. 

“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do. 

He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.

“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you. 

“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.

“It’s cold out.”

“Don’t know why you left today.”

“Obligations. Patrol.”

“Fuck that.”

You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”

“We’re not that old.”

“But we’re getting up there.”

“Sure, but…” Joel trails off. 

“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”

“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.” 

“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes. 

“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”

“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.

His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like. 

Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him. 

Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise. 

This will.

It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.

-

-

-

[gl1tched-g0th]

Happy Pride. Can we celebrate by, just for the month, having fandoms not be weird about lesbians/lesbian-coded characters.

Can we acknowledge that just because a woman character exists, and doesn't stare directly into the camera like an episode of the Office to say "I Do Not Like Men", that doesn't mean they aren't lesbian?

Can we please acknowledge how fandoms, especially cartoon spaces, are not normal about lesbians and lesbian coding. Can we acknowledge that lesbian is not a "dirty" or "taboo" word, and that it is okay to admit that a character is just a flat out lesbian.

Can we not try to maneuver our way around it by saying "well they could be bi/pan!", like so many people do with lesbian characters. For example:

-Amity from TOH, confirmed lesbian. People still argue that she's bisexual, because she drew herself with a fictional nonbinary character from a book once in the entire show.

-Velma from Scooby Doo, confirmed lesbian. When she got confirmed, people still argued she was bi because she dated men in past shows/specials - despite her being visibly uncomfortable in the relationships in question. Some even argued it was "bi-erasure" to make her a lesbian, which is insane to me.

-Amaya from The Dragon Prince, confirmed lesbian. Before she was confirmed, people said she was a "bicon" instead of lesbian, despite her showing no interest in men within the show. All she did was have a male interpreter (because shes DEAF and needs one), and people immediately paired them together.

-Ellie Williams from TLOU, confirmed lesbian. She shows no interest in men, states multiple times that men are "not her type", has only dated/had crushes on women within all games, the show, and even the comic, and yet people still claim she's bi.

-Robin Buckley from Stranger Things, confirmed lesbian. There's not much I can say here. She came out as a lesbian in the show, and people still call her bisexual. The jokes write themselves.

-Sammy from Camp Cretaceous/Chaos Theory, lesbian-coded. She's often headcanoned as anything but lesbian, often excused with "she never Outright said she's a lesbian like Yaz said she was bi", or that a few crew members said she was meant to be ambiguous. Yet I see nobody questioning why she specifically - the only other main female character, and who has never shown interest in men - is being kept that way.

-Vanessa from The Hollow, lesbian-coded. Developed a friendship with a male character, but has never expressed romantic interest in men. Laughing at a joke made by the opposite gender, and wanting to impress a male character because of a need for validation are not signs of romantic interest, by the way.

I am not saying you can't headcanon characters as bi, or that bi people are "evil", or trying to ""police"" who you ship together or whatever else excuse people use to derail conversations about this. There is a frequent pattern within fandoms where a lesbian (coded) character exists + has any relationship with a man ever + doesn't explicitly state they don't like men = not a lesbian. And fuck, even when they DO say they don't like men, they are still seen as bi.

Queer-coding is just as eminent as having a character be confirmed as queer. And, surprisingly (sarcasm) that also applies to lesbian coded characters. Lesbian characters do not need to "prove" their lesbianism to the viewers by hating/isolating themselves from men to be lesbians. They do not need to say outright that they don't like men in order to be lesbian coded. They can have relationships with men without being romantically interested in them. Lesbians have been fighting for so long to not be seen as "needing" to be with men in order to just. exist.

And believe me I could go on a whole rant about how this entire issue has roots in misogyny within the community, or how some people still haven't unlearned the idea of how a man and woman can have an 100% platonic relationship, or how people treat calling a character lesbian as a "last resort", but this post is already a wall of text as it is.

Please just be normal about lesbians in media.

[yellowocaballero]

Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

[goldnhourwrites]

Not enough people talked about these so I'm gonna do it myself because oh my god (commentary and headcanons below, it's just long)

Sett has a little travel-sized sewing kit in his bag... it's so tidy... sett stitching things back together when his bandmates rip them...

Sett just casually carries around like 20+ pounds of dumbbells. Mans is literally always working out. The grind never stops.

"yo Ezreal can you grab my bag for me?" "Yeah sure--what the FUCK do you have in here? This thing weighs a hundred pounds."

His little exercise headband... and is that a hair tie behind it? Sett with his hair tied back??

Sett's energy bar collection. Sett's the type of person to pack an entire backpack full of snacks for a road trip.

Ezreal has a plushie OF HIMSELF on his bag.

this guy practically collects aesthetic glasses. 3 pairs in the bag plus the circle ones he had in PARANOIA.

Sharpie (for signing autographs???) His signature on the polaroids of himself???

The photo under the lip balm looks like it might be Ezreal and Aphelios. Ezreal's the type of person to make sure he has photos with all of his friends. Ezreal hanging up his favorite polaroids in his room.

can we talk about the all-white fit in the very bottom photo omg

Aphelios has back-up headphones for his headphones.

WHO SENT THE SNACKS. WAS IT ALUNE. WAS IT SOMEONE ELSE.

The writing on the note looks like Korean but unfortunately I don't know any Korean :(

his sticky noted book... is it a journal? is it full of lyrics? who put the little smiley face sticker on the front!! does he write in it!!

I love the idea of Aphelios just pulling out a little keyboard whenever he wants to write down a tune. How well can he play the piano? Only enough to write music, or does he have songs memorized? Does he ever play for anyone?

K'SANTE'S DRAWING TABLET

he's not just in charge of putting together their fashion, he designs it himself. i'm going to scream

I am in love with those glasses. I need art of k'sante in those glasses ASAP. i will do it myself if i have to.

What is his book!! What does the W stand for!!

The way the button on his gloves matches the one on his jacket in his LoL splash art. This tiny detail is driving me insane.

Also, the cologne? The top is the same as his necklace? Does he have a specific personal cologne? So elegant...

Kayn's Pentakill guitar pick. Let me see him play the guitar I beg

The crumpled up receipts. This man goes Shopping (also see: cash, various coins). And he just has a bunch of random shit in his bag because he never bothers cleaning it out.

the open leaking bottle of hair dye. please. do you NEED that

The random jewelry... I love the idea of him either a) taking it off, shoving it in his bag, and forgetting where he put it or b) bringing backup drip with him everywhere in case he needs more

While Sett, Aphelios, and Yone all opted for headphones, Kayn's gone with good old-fashioned corded earbuds. Does he not like headphones? Is it because they mess up his hair?

Big ass box of matches and For Why? Does he smoke? Is he too cool to carry around a lighter? Does he just like setting shit on fire?

Yone keeps a little emergency travel kit. Band mom energy. He's got band-aids and a toothbrush and toothpaste At The Ready.

Bottle of lotion? Yone with a skincare routine? Yone who stays moisturized? Everybody in Heartsteel asking Yone for lotion?

Earplugs (for sleeping on long bus rides, maybe?) I want to see Yone going "I'm sick of this shit" and tuning the fuck out.

Yone is the only one with a real headphone case. Aphelios has his around his neck 24/7, but his wireless earbuds have a case. Sett's just shoving his in there with twenty pounds of dumbbells and hoping for the best.

Yone's got so many little gadgets and I don't even know what they all are. He has his laptop and (probably) his phone, plus a smartwatch, and maybe a portable charger? He's that prepared.

I can't tell what the object beside his smartwatch is (looks wooden?) If anyone knows, let me know? I'm so curious

This man's got even more stuff inside his bag. Yone doesn't leave the house without like fifteen things in case of an emergency.

good news everyone. i'm still losing my mind over them

[martindeservedbetter]

warhammer

Brynjolf x F! Dragonborn! Reader

word count: 1985

triggers: none

summary: Who could've thought a pair like them could've bonded over a warhammer? Clearly not themselves.

prompt: from @writings-of-a-hufflepuff List #5 prompt 9.

"You really thought I was dead?"

"Mercer, you're back, but where's-"

"Dead. Karliah got her before I got the chance to save her. Such a shame really... she showed so much promise."

The guild all watched Brynjolf freeze, but they'd all seen it before. It wasn't new for his protege to get caught or killed, but his response was so different this time. He seemed... sadder. As this time it was personal like she was more than a protege.

"I'll be back. I'm going to go find her."

"Were you not listening boy? She's dead."

"Just let me do this, alright? I just need to know." He retorted, not keeping to his cool under pressure attitude.

"Do I need to get you a horse-?" Delvin asked, only to be cut off by the man in question.

"I'll be fine Delvin. Be back as soon as I can-" Brynjolf answered.

"You're insane Brynjolf. Can't you just take my word for it?!" Mercer yelled, calling after the man who was already leaving. The man who ignored the protests of the other members entirely.

___________________

Not finding any proof had only made it that much harder for Brynjolf to accept it. And he scoured the Sanctum, only to find dried blood in an open room.

Damn Karliah. Damn her to Oblivion.

Brynjolf had struggled to find any other way to accept it, so he just blamed Karliah instead, finding it was much easier than anything else. She had killed the last guild master, so who's to say that she wouldn't kill another member? One that was going to help fix all of the problems.

"Brynjolf, please, just stop drinking, it's not going to change anything," Vekel muttered.

"Just give me the damn drink, Vekel."

"No. I will not indulge you in this. I don't care if you're hurting, please just accept that she's gone."

"How? She was... she was special."

"The same way I got over my parents. Time and goodbyes." Sapphire suddenly began speaking and slid into the barstool next to Brynjolf.

"I'm not ready for that."

"Then no mead, no wine, no alcohol whatsoever. It won't help, it'll only make it worse."

Brynjolf groaned, and got up and walked away, hoping to at least be alone. To maybe find some peace by going through her things. To maybe just sleep. Just anything to be free of people's dagger-like eyes that pierced him with judgment.

His eyes flickered to her empty bed, the way it just looked so wrong. Brynjolf sat himself in front of her chest, looking through her things, noticing things that he recognized, specifically a certain warhammer...

"Lass, this is ballsy, even for you."

"Shh, it'll be fine."

He watched her sneak away, attempting to steal the war hammer right off the guard's back.

And all Brynjolf remembered was the way the hammer was too heavy for her hands and she carried it back over to him with the largest smile on her face.

"I told you it'd be fine."

"I guess I should believe you more often lass."

He took the hammer out of her arms, and she seemed to sigh in relief, but still high from the thrill of theft.

"Obviously. Don't be an idiot, I'm just as good of a thief as yourself."

"Of course," he mused as he mussed up her hair, and she slapped his hand away.

"Do you know how hard it is to tame this?!"

And Brynjolf just laughed as she attempted to fix her barely messed up hair, scowling as she did so.

"You're so lovely, lass."

"I would say 'you too' but you were a jerk who messed up my hair!"

"You look fine, lass."

"Says the guy who rolls out of bed and looks gorgeous."

"That's very flattering, Y/n, but not entirely true."

He watched her jaw drop, and he gave a soft chuckle.

"You do not comb through your hair! There's no way in Oblivion-"

"And that's where you'd be wrong lass."

"Oh, my gods... Brynjolf is a fancy man."

"And proud of it."

He winked, yet didn't fail to catch the glimpse of a blush dusting her cheeks.

"What happened to you lass..?"

It wasn't long before there was a clamor coming from the Flagon, and when the Cistern door flew open, every member was on alert.

Karliah...

Brynjolf decided to be civilized but was not afraid to turn from the plan if it even slightly went south.

"Karliah, what did you do to Y/n?"

___________________

"Y/n? You're alive?"

It was Vekel who seemed to notice her first, and it drew the attention of the few other members still in the Flagon.

"Y/n? But Mercer said-" Tonilia started.

"Mercer lied. He's lied to all of you for years."

The newest recruit had been confirmed dead by the current guild master, and he'd managed to convince everyone but a certain second in command.

"Brynjolf looked for you. We were also worried about the fact that you two were gone that he just, decided to seek answers for himself... He hasn't been well."

"Vekel, is he here? We have a lot to talk about, and I need the entire guild's attention."

"Of course, he should just be in the Cistern-"

But she was already gone, ready to tell everyone the truth and to address her Brynjolf situation, but that would have to take a backseat. There were far more pressing matters at hand.

As she pushed through the Cistern door, she heard arguing amongst the members and loads of insults toward Karliah.

"Mercer's a liar."

"Lass..."

Brynjolf's face softened and she watched his body seem to go slack.

'He looked for you... he hasn't been well.'

"Karliah saved my life. Mercer tried to kill me."

She lifted her shirt to show the fresh scar along her stomach.

Brynjolf's eyes traced the marred skin, and his body seemed to tense the longer he looked.

"He's been robbing you blind for years, check the vault."

Karliah added, standing right by Y/n's side. Y/n had put her shirt back down, smoothing it out as she stood increasingly closer to Karliah.

"Lass?"

Those eyes of his... those gorgeous emerald eyes bore into her, coaxing an answer from her. Silently pleading for the truth, clearly uncomfortable with the woman beside her.

"She's right, please, Bryn, believe us." Y/n copied his own eyes, begging him for the decency to believe her.

He let out a sigh before shouting," Oi, Delvin! We need to open the vault."

"Thank you..." she breathed, smiling over to Karliah.

Brynjolf looked over to her, very upset about the large scar on her torso, and although he was warry of Karliah, he knew of what happened to Gallus and it didn't help that he knew what it felt like to hear that Y/n was dead. But he threw that to the side when he saw Y/n smile at Karliah, watching her seem very relaxed around the supposed murderer of Gallus and Y/n herself.

"You called, Brynjolf?"

"Put your key in, we need to get this door open."

"Of course."

Y/n hesitantly walked toward the vault, standing right beside Brynjolf. It made him feel a wave of relief knowing she was this close again.

"It's empty! It's all gone!" Delvin yelled back to the group after doing a sweep of the vault.

"Mercer! Damn him!" Brynjolf answered, entering the vault to confirm the claim.

It was a stab at the entire guild like someone had slit the guild's throat and captured its riches as if it were blood. The experience was numbing to most guild members, realizing that not only had all of their hard work been for naught, but their guild master was also the reason for it. He had caused every problem they had ever faced, yet always found some scapegoat, never allowing himself to be seen in a negative light as he tore the guild apart from the inside.

"When I see him, I swear I'm going to-"

"Vex! You know that's not how we operate. We just need to figure this out..." Brynjolf chided the white-haired woman, who was now seething in anger but held her tongue, silently planning Mercer Frey's death in several different ways.

"Lass," Brynjolf turned to Y/n," Tell me everything that's been going on."

"I will Bryn, I promise, but first... can we be alone? Vekel said you haven't been well-"

"So long as we speak of the guild first, of course, lass."

Y/n held out a hand, which he quickly accepted, allowing her to lead him to the intended destination. Although the place was just the secret entrance for the Cistern, they sat on the hidden steps together.

She first informed him about how Karliah had been framed, that Mercer Frey had betrayed them and brought a curse upon the Guild after infuriating Nocturnal. She then led into the tales of the secret trio of Nightingales being true.

"The Nightingales? I thought that was just an old legend, but I believe you lass."

"It seems that we don't have much of a choice in anything anymore Bryn..."

He cleared his throat, garnering her undivided attention.

"What was it that you wanted to talk about lass?"

She gave a soft smile, grabbing his hand and intertwining her fingers with his.

"Vekel said you've been..." she paused, for lack of better words," not well."

"I've not been ill, lass."

"I didn't mean it that way. He said you came for me."

"...I had to make sure it wasn't true."

"You really thought I was dead?"

"No," Brynjolf felt his heart jump into his throat, and he tried to cough up an answer.

"I just... I didn't believe Mercer when he told me you were dead... I... I had to see for myself."

Brynjolf's eyes didn't meet hers, but he rubbed the back of her palm with his thumb.

"You know I missed you, missed us. You know that right?"

"I missed you more than you know... Saw you kept that old warhammer... that was a nice day..."

"That was a nice day... I found out that you were a fancy man."

"And I found out that I loved you," he spoke just below a whisper, just as if it were just a breath.

"Bryn? What was that?"

"Don't worry about it. So I'm a fancy man? I'm glad you remember lass."

"No, don't lass me. You never told me you were hurting. Was it that hard with me gone?"

She had begun to hold his hand a little bit tighter as she looked over at him, trying to get him to look back into her eyes.

"Yes lass," and for the first time since they started their little talk, the emerald-eyed man looked her in the eye.

"It was hard."

"But I'm just, me."

"And that's just it Y/n. You're just you, and down the line, I fell in love with you. I searched for you... because I didn't want to come back to a guild without you."

"I love you too. Gods above, I've been in love with that stupid accent of yours since you told me I couldn't steal that warhammer." She said with a laugh, letting herself fall to lean against his side.

He kissed her temple and gave her hand a squeeze before muttering," That's when I fell as well."

"Future romance advice for those who need it, just steal a warhammer, then you'll love each other." She teased, currently pleased with their current situation.

"Steal one more for the road? We can fix the guild later?" He offered, and he knew the answer as soon as he was pulled to his feet.

"Whoever gets one first, without being caught, gets a kiss!"

"I'm not against this bargain..."

And the pair of thieves both split, oh so full of love, and ready for everything they faced in front of them.

[slasherwhxre]

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR PT3 Of “catching feelings for you” with Frank 😭😭😭 I loved it so much

oh what the hell. you got it bb <3 side note, is this still a reaction?.. who knows honestly, i enjoyed writing it.

Masterlist

DbD Killers' Reaction to: Catching Feelings for You, pt. 3

|| Characters: just Frank Morrison (as requested)

words: 1k (could've been way more tho)

[pt. 1] | [pt. 2] | [pt. 3] (here)

Frank half-masterminded a way to go about his problem, particularly about this so-called crush. He didn't know whether to feel mad at fuckface Ghost for putting it on his mind or at himself for thinking of you in the first place.

He had a plan of sorts. Well, it was in the works, kinda.

Okay, not a plan, no, though others would sure as hell label it as one, which is why he had kept it to himself. This was no doubt annoying.

Of course, that and.. the near constant awareness of having so much as an operation specifically designed for you awakened another level of disgust inside him.

Frank would get over it.

He just needed some blood to wash it off of his mind.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't happen.

Frank had tried. Was it his best?

Nah. No comment.

"So..," came a greeting and continued, "This is a first," all before he could even reply with 'Fucking tell me about it'.

The young woman in front of Frank had her arms crossed, she had a hidden mix of actual surprise in her sarcastic tone, "Guessing you didn't do so hot."

Frank exhaled, disappointment in himself apparent, "Jules." It meant don't start.

"Oh, hey," said another lively voice. Frank groaned inside for once. How great, here comes yet another unnecessary sack of flesh to make a comment on his misery. A most sincere welcome-back congregation this had turned out to be. This is way more fucking new, he thought to himself. "Hey." "You're.. uh, very clean." Suzy hesitated before voicing what she saw. Well. Clean.. as I ever will be, Frank peered down at his jacket.

The lack of survivor blood, or muck, or just... whatever dirt Entity World had on it was equally disturbing, as you in his mind.

"Focusing on a bitch when you can be killing bitches is unlike you," said a deeper voice. Voila. Now they had done it. He was annoyed times two. "Cut off my back."

Frank saw his crew look at each other with a concoction of amusement and confusion before focusing on him once more. Then followed the reactions.

"What?"

"You okay there, buddy?"

"I mean, if you insist."

The twice-as-annoyed and now even can be considered disgruntled man facepalmed, hard. He palmed some of his exposed hair in streas. It seems 'crush on the mind' was already costing him brain cells, so what's a few more?

"Urgh, I clearly meant to say, get off my back or cut me some slack. I don't know. Fuck me. Leave me alone." This must have been the definition of sheepish. On top of it all he had just contradicted his own words by taking a step inside the shack.

I'll leave first, whatever, he had intended, at least, but an unwelcome, however unsurprising, voice made him stop, accompanied by a not-so-genuine-sounding slow clap. It came from above. I'll. Just. Walk. Away.

Nope.

"Wow, wow, wow..." Oh, what fucking now? Frank held back the desire to shout.

"Our own little Frankie.. dazed by his newfound love. I can't believe it."

Love? You're fucking crazy.

And so am I. It's just a survivor that doesn't even fucking know you, and the fact that the words that came out of this motherfucker's mouth didn't feel all that unnatural is absolutely fucking insane, I will-

Frank ceased his derailing.

He put on a not-so-bothered-at-least-in-front-of-the-enemy act and gazed at the tree.

"Fuck are you doing here?" he barked to a pair of dark and muddy boots, who then decided it was a perfect time to jump down and make his presence known, like he hadn't done so already.

"Oh, me?" Ghostface pointed his thumb towards his masked face in an exaggerated manner, "Well, I just came by to say that that was truly embarrassing, even for you."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, but you already know." Danny tilted his head while checking out his nails nonchalantly, "It's just kinda interesting that you're making us know too. My sincerest thanks."

"You're not a part of this."

Danny looked up at the four. "Oh no? I don't see a lot of backlash." Needless to say, his confidence got on head Legion's nerves. "Take a vote."

Silence.

Frank didn't need to look to his left, right or back to know they were enjoying his antics, so he didn't bother. This was remarkably tipping his anger to the limit and his members watching this interaction go down wasn't helping. "How about.. you take a hint instead?" Fuck. That was all he could muster. Ghostface more like FrustratingFace, fuck thank God I didn't say that.

"Hint? Hint that you get your rocks off to the newbie? Oh, Frankie-"

"Call me that again-"

"Even the Entity must fucking know." Danny's tone took a sharp turn to ice-cold. It made something known to Frank's mind. Oh. So that's why...

"Yeah." Danny put on strong emphasis. Frank's silence had given the dawning of realization away, "That's what's up, dummy. The entity sees everything. There's no way it'll put you on a trial with the newbie if you keep letting livestock get away from you, will it, Mr. Wolf? I mean, just use your head a bit." Frank tuned him out as he went on about how the Entity couldn't go hungry like a little baby. He wasn't that dumb. Sure, he was dumber now that you preoccupied most of his empty-mind, but Danny had already made his point.

Kill you.

He had to kill you the next time he saw you. And he hoped to whatever God that was out there that he wasn't too attracted to you to stick his knife right in your heart.

Nah, he wasn't. But maybe he could take care of both of his problems? Two birds with one stone. Meh. One knife, one love. He'd figure it out.

pt. 4? 👀

[elvhensinner]

Which group do you fantasize about cucking the most? Is it the same as your most biased groups?

Could you list top 10 individual idols that melt your brain if they are involved with cucking?

I'm not sure if its pretty much the same as my biased groups/soloists. Really, my basis for it largely depends on the question "Will they cheat on their significant other?" if the answer is no then I am just drooling 😋

I made this list from the get go. I still stand by my statement about whoever I find hottest at a specific night trumps over whoever's below my top 3 girls of all time. Literally, if this was asked to me on a different day, I bet I'd have different answers

Top 11 idols that melt my brain if cucking/cheating is involved:

11. Jeon Somi

She looks like the perfect recipient of hate sex. There's also something about this girl that screams "Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my night with your girl. But not because I like her, I just really wanted to try her out".

10. Kim Chaewon

I seriously do love all my IZ*ONE girlies, but asides from her body and cute personality, Kim Chaewon is just not on my radar. (In all honesty, idk why). Soooo many people love her so much, its insane. But hey, at least whenever I see people fawn over this angel, it makes my brain instantly jump to how I'd take her from them. Hehe.

9. Jihyo

Big tits. Motherly love. Officially confirmed that she has a boyfriend. Beloved by many. Need I say more?

8. Ahn Yujin/Jang Wonyoung

Being a WIZ*ONE, in my eyes, these two are my forever maknaes. I just can't deny value whenever I'm hankering for a "younger sister"-esque style of cucking.

7. Kim Sejeong

I've always seen this girl as the big sister type. Despite her tig ol biddies, I rarely lewd her, but my innards twist in every which way whenever I see someone gooning the fuck out of her. Its always equal parts "N-no... she's my big sister... sTOP LEWDING HER!" and ".....C-Can you maybe tell me more?..." 🤣

6. Lee Chaeryeong

As my #1 girl's sister, this girl has starred in many of my "shhh your sister doesn't have to know"-themed nights. That, plus girly doesn't just look like the epitome of wholesome, she also looks like she's a great target for dubcon. I bet this naive baby girl would believe something as stupid as...

"My penis has a genie inside of it"

"Really?"

"Only if you rub it hard enough"

5. Momo

Body made for sex. Hands down, she takes the crown for my BHF 'making me have a random hardon and fapping like there's no tomorrow' title. I've also cucked so many people using this girl, so at this point I can't not associate her with cucking/cheating.

4. Irene

This one is a mighty curve ball, courtesy of my recent Taeyeon prompt + @planetaryupscaled's cucking smut. That signature man-hater glare of hers is just begging to be forced into a dubcon scenario. Seriously, imagine those eyes staring up at you, hating your guts, as her lips wrap around your shaft. Add the fact that she's totally of age to be in a committed, loving relationship 🤤

3. Kim Dahyun

There's a reason this girl starred in my debut story. She's so pure. So light. So wholesome. She is love. I just know she's the type to fight tooth and nail to have the most romantic, traditional relationship known to man. And that's the very reason my brain goes cuckoo about all the nasty ways she can be used as a means for cucking.

2. Kwon Eunbi

This woman is just BUILT to be in RPs/smuts. There are so many avenues to her. Subby. Dommy. Mommy. Baby. Wholesome. You name it, she fits into it. The fact that I've already thought of a prompt for her while I'm writing this already speaks levels to her writeability: Imagine her bf being the one who first encouraged her to go wild in waterbomb 2023. At the moment, BF pats himself in the back for being the one responsible for Kwon Eunbi's spike in popularity, but these days? He's forced to turn a blind eye at Eunbi's multiple meetings with different investors, promoters, brands, etc. all of which always leads to Eunbi going home late at night. "I got the gig!" the BF hears every night, with her outfit an inch away from being undone.

1. Lee Chaeyeon

Last but not least is my #1 girl. As someone who is head over heels for this woman, I can say with full confidence that my brain will —and ALWAYS WILL— melt at the thought of Lee Chaeyeon being used in a cucking scenario. Hell, the small matter of her (rarely) being posted on lewding sites is enough to make me rockhard. 🤤

[flimflamfandom]

The Love song of Rocky Rickaby

A Vignette, wherein Rocky meets a girl. (Specifically Ari from @ladybugkisses )

WARNING for corny poetry and slightly sad Rocky.

-

"Calvin? Caaaaaaaalviiiiiin? Freckle? Cal? Freck? Mr. McMurray? Sideburns McBigEye-" Rocky's incessant knocking on the door of the apartment was answered by a slightly annoyed looking Calvin.

"Aye?"

"Calvin!" Rocky gripped his shoudlers. "I need your help - I met a girl!"

Calvin rolled his eyes. Third one this month, he thought.

"...What do you want Me for, then?" Calvin asked.

Rocky let himself into Calvin's new apartment. "You're a fanciful writer type, right, Calvin?"

"Well, I mean, I've...written before, but-"

"Perfect!" Rocky sat down by the typewriter and looked over. "I need your help writing to her."

"...this is rich," Calvin rolled his eyes, walking over. "You're the one who makes poems, aren't you?"

"Oh, sure, sure, but those are about...places, and things! But you...I've seen your letters to Ivy!"

"You've WHA-"

"And I know you're an incredibly romantic man! Please, Calvin, this time it's different, I know I need to woo her with romance instead of my usual rogueish charms! Pleas, I BEG OF YO-"

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine." Calvin sat down at the typewriter. Rocky was a bit...fast and loose with women. Never a creep, never unclear about his intentions, but always a one night sort of man - Calvin figured this would be no different.

"Oh, thank you! How will I ever repay you?"

"Don't...don't worry about it." Calvin quickly hid some papers on his desk. "So, this girl...what's she like?"

"...uhm..." Rocky blinked. He sat down for a moment. "I...well, she...uhm..."

Calvin blinked a few times. "...go on?"

"...she's...a lady...and...has...fur?"

Calvin stared for a moment. "You're sure you met her? Because it doesn't sound that way."

"I know, I know, I just...she's hard to describe! You can't always have words for Ivy, can you?"

"I could tell you what color her fur is."

"Oh, good, Zib and I have a disagreement about this, is it gray or-"

"Rocky. The love...letter? Poem? Song?"

"Poem! That I can turn into a song~!" Rocky winked and nudged his brother, then went back to looking a bit...afraid of something. He sighed. Calvin cocked his head to one side.

"Rocky...you need to help me here if I'm going to write something." Calvin stood, and walked towards the kitchen. He started to get some tea going, and looked over. "Now, tell me the very basics."

"Red fur." Rocky said. "Sort of. And these big eyes, I...I couldn't guess the color. And she had such a cute dress, and-" He blinked. "I...well. I, uh...I'm sure you get the idea. right?"

"Tell me about how she is." Calvin came back, waiting for the kettle to whistle. He sat by the typewriter, and began to take notes.

"...how?"

"Aye, how. Who. What. She's not just fur and eyes, is she?"

"No, no, of course not!" Rocky said. "She was...kind. And nice. And she was...well when she looked at me, she smiled. I nearly ran her over coming out of the café, and we didn't see each other long, but-" Rocky cleared his throat. "...is this...enough to go off of?"

"...Rocky, I think you might be more intimidated by her than in love."

"What? You're crazy! Bonkers! Wacko! Insane! I'd never be scared of someone so....so..." Rocky fought for a word, but didn't find it. Calvin nodded.

"You're clearly at least a little nervous about this. That's normal! A lot's on the line, and all." Calvin said.

"Oh, I know, but...this is just a girl. Really, all it is! And while I'm, infatuated now, and in need of your expertise, I'm sure it'll wear off eventually, as is so oft the case in this modern age!" Rocky winked, with a sense of denial that was painfully obvious to Calvin.

Calvin merely rolled his eyes.

"Rocky, if you're just attracted to her, then go ahead and ask her yerself, you don't need a love poem for this sort of thing, let alone a song."

"You're right." Rocky said. "I mean, so what if she was pretty? There's pretty girls! All over the place! Sure, I mean, none has ever made me...want to settle in, but-"

There was a pause.

"I mena really, what was I thinking? A love letter? Why, all i need to do here is find a good night with her! I would LOATHE the idea of...of waking up to her in the morning, and-" Rocky's ears drooped, "and...nestling into her as she slept." Rocky sighed. "I've never, EVER felt any affection like that - why start now? Why now turn from my lustful ways to wanting to hold her in my arms as she looks into my eyes, and...and to see, to really see what she's thinking?" His tail drooped. "And honestly, I doubt there's any woman on the face of the EARTH who could make me want to keep her safe...to kill for her, to die for her, but also to live for her, and to see things and learn things and love things I've never...loved before...oh, god, Calvin, I-" Rocky tearfully looked over to Calvin, who was hastily scribbling things down. Rocky spoke, through a choked voice.

"I'm...I've never been in love...that must be why I couldn't think of anything to..."

Calvin looked up, and smiled. "It hits you late, aye?"

"Sure, sure...did...did you get anything from that?"

"...I caught a bit." Calvin handed him something. "You can make changes if you'd like."

"...Aces."

-

It was late at night, in an apartment building in St. Louis. And a girl heard something against her window. It sounded like a pebble...annoyed, she looked out, and saw-

"...Rocky, right?" She asked. The two had talked a while, outside the café. She remembered his name. His colossal eyes, his soft smile...

He was just standing there. He cleared his throat, and took out a piece of paper. He'd foregone the song bit...but what is a poem but a song?

"...as..." Rocky cleared his throat, "As a shearwater over the sea, I too have been to many shores...but as the noble bird does, so to have I chosen one to rest on evermore."

He was different than he normally was - shaky, and nervous. He'd never tried to be this...sincere before, about ANYthing.

"Indeed, as astronomers plot the stars, my gaze has laid on many lights, but-" He sputtered, "but...as if transfixed by a celestial glow, only one star remains in my...ehm...mind? No, that doesn't rhyme, I-"

"Sights."

"Sights?" Rocky looked up at the girl. She was smiling.

"You meant to say sights. Rhymes with lights?"

Rocky smiled, too. He looked up, and perked his ears, throwing the page away. "I cannot tell a lie to you, I've had my share of loving guests, but none so lovely as you, who makes me want to build a-"

"Nest?"

"Is it that predictable?" Rocky knew he shouldn't have asked Calvin - good a writer as he was, he was no poet - but the girl let out a chuckle.

"It's a sentiment a girl hears a lot, you know." She said, which caused Rocky's ears to droop, and his tail to flatten.

"But...I mean it, I promise I do, I-"

"I know." She said.

"...you do?" Rocky held his hat nervously in his hands. The girl nodded.

"If someone is coming by to read odes to me at night, they aren't doing it because they want a quick date...or because they're afraid to be embarrassed." Rocky did feel a few extra eyes on him...including one particularly angry eye.

How was HE supposed to know she lived right next to Viktor!?

"I...I ought to come up there, then? Just so I, ehm...don't anger the neighbors." Rocky, for the first time in a long time,w as genuinely nervous - worried about his odds, and contemplating what he might do if he lost.

The girl spoke.

"Come in...but no funny business."

"Of course!" Rocky rushed up the fire escape.

He smiled all the way up.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles 17 ways Dark can insult you

It's been aWHILE.

Not Green practically begging this man to stop abusing Dark Link.

Shadow being insanely bitter at Green's position as the "Leader" of the group isn't well hidden here. When Shadow was in charge of things, he has shown to be very...Abusive. Like there's not a lot of ways around that lmfao. He was seemingly way less abusive to the Hinox's than the rock monster but like, we barely saw them interact.

Green appealing to Dark's emotions by stating "Shadow's kinds scary" is hilarious to me. Throw the shade Green Shadow deserves it a little at this point.

Green's got the right idea that introductions this late is probably a very bad idea given EVERYTHING going on.

I personally just love Dark chewing on Green's fingers it's cute. It's the kind of thing a cat would do lmfao. Green doesn't seem to mind it since he lets him do it till the next panel lmfao.

"Vaati's such a prick!" Shadow says. As if Vaati chose to make the curse sentient...And it wasn't like. A mistake. Quite the assumption there pal.

Ya think it would have assumed a physical form 7 years ago when he was created if that was the case but ehhhh-

As soon as Green falls into his anxieties Dark laughs like a crazy person. Because this dude feeds on emotions and that power is rated E for everyone, he doesn't discriminate against good or bad emotions.

Yeah well for laughing like a loon Daddy Shadow's gonna abuse him some more. You're a terrible dad Shadow Link.

Poor Green is concerned about Dark's wellbeing.

The fucking face Green makes after Dark is yanked is based on this meme:

Because it's funny as hell to me.

Also Shadow wrongly assumes what Dark's powers are:

I mean it's TRUE that he does feed off negativity. But the same is true for positive emotions too. Dark Link actually outright admits to preferring them on a few occasions. Dark Link is bad at being a parasitic curse.

Shadow dramatically stuffing Dark back into his hat is one of my favorite panels of this sequence. It's so dramatic and silly.

CALL. HIM. OUT. SIS.

Shadow needs to know when he's being an ass.

Green will give credit when it's due but Shadow was AWFUL TO THEM.

Some stuff to note:

Green doesn't actually answer the question on if he forgives Shadow or not. Haaaah.

That sure won't be relevant later, but it's pretty heavily implied he hasn't fully forgiven Shadow but IS willing to make an effort to accept him anyway.

Green being a bro here is smth I liked writing.

Green's hard to characterized so I ended up taking him in a different but SIMILAR direction to his cannon manga counterpart.

Like...Green didn't have a lot of his own traits vs the OG Link. He mainly just existed to be the voice of reason. Which is fine. But giving him depression means he can be a bit more interesting in my eyes than just "Diet Link" XDDDD

Green reminding us that him and Link had full conversations with each other at various points.

Which is. Interesting. I can't remember how much I dived into the concept of that in fsr rambles. But that is weird.

It suggests a level of detachment Link has from the four of them to the point he is able to have his own opinions/thoughts/and is able to do actions completely dethatched from all four.

Link is destinctly his own entity compared to the four of them...If that's the case. Where did that consciousness GO.

Perhaps a question to look into at a later date.

For now Green's giving some good ol hugs and thoughts to his pal Shadow Link.

Hah I'm sure you were glad Shadow.

And this page makes me laugh like hell at the implications in the 2nd to past panel.

I'm flabbergasted yall didn't catch that on release of these pages.

Like.

C'mon now.

They're blushing and touching each other.

Next panel they're missing articles of clothes (Their tunics specifically.) and have distinctly embarrassed looks on their faces, Green is hiding his neck for some reason and Blue's dialogue eludes to a substantial amount of time passing.

They did smth sus off screen and yall just, missed that.

I'm very disapointed nobody caught that till I pointed it out. I thought I was being too obvious with that shit.

Green hasn't exactly been hiding the fact he's been very eager for physical contact is all I'm saying.

LMFAO. Okay funny thing:

Shadow didn't have a bed. Because: Why the fuck would you give a shadow a bed.

Shadow also couldn't FEEL things in his weird limbo shadow state. Because he has been IN Link's bed before. Just couldn't actually feel it being comfortable.

No wonder dude has been touch starved to hell.

Idk what it is about the second to last page but I like Green and Shadow interacting and Shadow being a happy little camper.

Even though he's a dick he deserves to be happy with his family. (Smth I dislike strongly is how that dude got relegated to being Link's damn shadow at the end of the manga like...Noooooooo)

Green's had time to think about the things necessary for them all to live together which is sweet.

Link didn't do this before to have less suspicion he was actually gonna draw the sword.

Adding rooms to the house when he lives alone would have been SO SUS.

Green's excited at the prospect of their new life. Even if it'll be hard.

I did an oopsie in this page and didn't color shadow's glove and I'm not fixing it lmfao. Pretend it's there, this is a free comic on the internet. 😭

Blue yeeting a pillow at Green is funny since this is the second time this night the dude has told Green to get some damn sleep.

Greeeen can't sleep though.

I get it pal. I'm an insomniac too. 😞

Vaati's back.

And he cut his hair.

Dark's a silly goofy guy and noticed that because he's a creep.

There's just a whole other level of rude here because like:

Dark it's cut already wtf is he meant to do? X'D

Visually: it's worth noting they're in the temple Shadow dragged vio to at the beginning of the story.

Vaati has seemingly made that place his new home.

Dark's bluntness in the first panel just gets a kick out of me. He really thinks Vaati is dumb as hell and it shows.

Just to make it more obvious:

Dark wasn't ever referring to Vaati with the term "Master" in reference to he himself being Vaati's worker. He was referencing it in terms of Vaati being his teacher.

Which is like rubbing salt in a giant stab wound considering Vaati's former Master Ezlo and him weren't on good terms.

A fun thing to note: After Dark asks up front what he SHOULD call Vaati. Vaati responds with "Get off my bed" and didn't verbally protest to just "Vaati".

You'll notice Dark calls Vaati just "Vaati" from here on out I believe exclusively.

Which is pretty funny to think about because if Vaati had pulled his head out of his ass for a second and just told Dark what he preferred to be called, Dark probably would have actually listened in this moment since it was a genuine question.

Dark Link is only an annoyance if you fall into his traps. or have a bloated as hell ego like Vaati.

Vaati holding Dark Link like a spider by the leg here is so damn funny to me while Dark just, openly shows he would start touching this man the second he got to close if given the opportunity.

He did kiss Vaati without warning a few chapters ago so, don't really blame Vaati for wanting to avoid that. X'D

This entire sequence is just funny to me. But what's new.

Dark's being an oversharing weirdo and Vaati can't handle affection.

Smth I'm sure yall have noticed: Dark's expressions started off as creepy and disturbing and now have evolved into being goofy as fuck.

Dark can't emote properly. So the idea his face is just, all kinds of messed up expression wise has just as much comedic value as creep value. It can either be uncanny or silly.

The more frequently Dark makes "Disturbing expressions" the audience will get numb to it. As Dark becomes a character the audience outwardly is meant to like, smth disturbing about him becoming smth funny is a way of shifting perspective on a lot of aspects of him.

Smth I particularly like about the last panel is how Vaati visually cannot see dark but just knows he's there. XD

The fun thing about this scene is how you could really see it from both their perspectives here.

Vaati is very cynical. He's been hurt a lot (His own fault but still) he doesn't trust people and feels very alone. He misses the one time he connected with someone (Link from Minish cap).

But he's hesitant to make connections due to his attempt at redemption falling flat.

And then There's Dark Link:

Dark Link, is delusional to a degree but also painfully aware of other things.

His delusion is that he's a hero. Vaati's specifically which is why he compared Vaati to Zelda when he spoke to Shadow Link.

Vaati is the one he's protecting and keeping safe, Vaati is someone he cares about deeply even if Vaati, in every way: Sucks majorly.

But unlike Minish cap Link he doesn't try to get Vaati to change who he is.

He likes Vaati for who he is. Even if he thinks he's literally the worst.

At the end of the day: Dark isn't protecting Vaati because he was MADE too. He protects him because he wants too. And that's smth Vaati takes majorly for granted which we'll see down the line...

Dark's offering him unconditional love and Vaati can't understand that shit. Dark's loyalty confuses and just kinda frustrates him.

Since it's not logical. It's purely emotional.

Oh so much to say.

It's so hard to put into words what I think about their dynamic and why I love them. They're very messy but on equal footing. Vaati could push Shadow around and disrespect him in FSR I took the route Shadow and Vaati have an abusive parent and child relationship. But with Dark, that shit just doesn't work on Dark (at least for now) because the man is delusional as hell.

He truly believes he is not only smarter than Vaati but that he is THE ONLY THING protecting him and in a lot of ways: That's outright true.

A LOT of Dark Link's delusions have roots in reality. (Shadow saying they were "Family" so he wrongly associates Shadow as his "father" the only family Link had for instance.)

Vaati has to be kinda stupid from a writing standpoint (Cannon manga or not) because he needs to be defeat-able. His flaws boil down to making stupid as hell choices because he's narcisistic to a fault.

He can't think of shit outside of purely benefiting himself which...In the long run fucks himself over.

Dark is the kind of person you cannot argue with. Because he's insane.

Dark's not afraid of death, or pain...So it leads you to wonder what his weakness is. (And oh boy I hope that pays off haha.)

You throw something at Dark, he will spit it right back in your face 10 fold and he will be MEAN about it. Dark will low blow you into oblivion because it works.

Dark's morals are ALL OVER THE PLACE because he simultaneously thinks he is a curse made to destroy people emotionally and also thinks he's a hero.

In this case, Vaati's ego is Dark's ego.

At this point: Dark hasn't failed. He's done exactly as he's been asked in a round about way/depending on how you look at it.

I ain't even gonna pretend this scene wasn't meant to be sus.

Dark's very "Words are important" kind of guy for someone who sucks at communication haha.

Smth to note dialogue wise:

Dark's insult in the 2nd to last panel was him calling Vaati a baby effectively lmfao.

Since Picori are like mice/rats him calling Vaati a "Pup" was meant to insinuate Vaati is acting an infant Picori which just adds to the insult imo. Like instead of JUST calling Vaati a child he used language that was more suited to Vaati's upbringing.

That just cracks me up.

He went the extra mile to effectivly say "you're a poopy diaper baby huh?"

The last panel is just such: You have to get the last word huh? moment for Dark hahaha. X'D

1st panel:

Dark insinuates he is something OTHER than a curse which is odd. Though you can assume he just means he's a hero. But then again: Why does he think he's a hero exactly.

And the further conversation leads to a very odd revelation.

Vaati, by being in the four sword connected to Link, was cursed.

Which explains why Dark Link can see his memories when Vaati earlier in the comic referenced that he SHOULDN'T.

Woops.

This also explains why it works on Shadow Link. Because Shadow was magically attached to Link at the time of being cursed, Dark affects the three who were influenced by the sword and it's wielder at the time.

Dark's dialogue is further confusing/has weird implications when he asks Vaati:

"Perhaps you forgot what you WANTED, and where you WERE when you created me?"

Dark on multiple occasions has outright referenced the idea he was made to protect Vaati.

Which is weird if you think about it.

Dark wasn't made to just hurt people, but to protect something. Specifically VAATI, but this behavioral aspect makes a lot of sense when you consider he was created for.

Smth a bit morbid:

Dark Link outright states here he believes Link/his colors will kill him. And doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

Well Dark seems fine with his mortality as long as he gets to use it to protect Vaati.

2nd panel insult had me rolling it's so mean and out of pocket but what's new for Dark.

He brushes off Vaati's threats of curse breaking because: Well he's right about Vaati needing him at least for now.

We end on a very goofy note of Dark begging for more kisses if he does a good job. Which shows dude has optimism pouring out of his ass rn.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Hello. Okay, so I'm going to start this off with 'this might be an crazy thing to ask'.

I just saw your post from January about Nana Shimura, and I feel like I'm insane.

I'm legitimately not trying to be belligerent here, but can you please explain to me, in your opinion, why you think that it is Nana's fault for anything that has happened in relation to her? I'm just trying to understand, because I don't see how anything could necessarily be her fault solely. Specifically when talking about the 'creation' of Tomura.

If AFO had wanted to get his hands on someone from that bloodline, if only to be a bastard or whether it was for an actual reason, he would have done it regardless of what Nana's choices would have been.

And I can't help but notice the fact that all of this skips an entire generation. Everyone is so quick to blame Nana for doing what humans do, I.E. having a husband and a child, and I feel I'm not really qualified to speak on that front because I never have wanted children and I don't foresee that changing at this ripe old age I'm at, so I'm not even going to go into whether or not I think it was wrong of her to have a family.

I just find it very interesting that people are blaming Nana for something that happened literal years after her own physical death. Things that happened at the hands of her own son. Things that would have never happened had it not been for her son, that she had no part in.

It's just that the way I see it, that man had years upon years to come to terms with what his mother had done in order to protect him, but in the end he failed anyway. Whether he knew it or not he failed more than his own mother did. He failed and he gave his fucking own child over to this horrible person, and he couldn't have been completely ignorant of that, let's be honest. Whether or not what she did was the right choice, Nana gave him up for a reason, and the fact that he couldbut possibly put himself in his mother's shoes, after how many years? Is more telling of him than it is of her.

Even if what Nana did wasn't the right choice, then what WAS the right choice? How was there a wrong or a right choice when you could never possibly predict the outcomes of whatever you chose to do? In my opinion, people are trying to pin everything on Nana when all she was doing was doing the best she could with what she was given, and I think that's unfair and stupid.

I haven't been following you for long, but I've seen your posts for quite a while, so I actually do respect your opinion, which is why I am asking you.

I really don't like the way Horikoshi writes women as a whole in this particular story, and I don't know if that's a track record of his or if this is his only work or whatever, I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing. And that's a whole other post for another time. But I just find it really weird that everyone seems to be coming after Nana while simultaneously defending her son, when her own son is the one who is committing these atrocities long after she is dead?I find it very weird indeed.

Sorry for the long post, I have far too many feelings about MHA.

First of all, sorry for taking so long to answer and thank you for taking the time to write this ask 💜

Nana Shimura is one of my favorite bnha female characters because of how complex and flawed she is!!!

Here's the short answer:

Regardless of the actions of the people around her, Nana Shimura had a responsibility with her son as a mother and with the world as a hero.

We all have to make decisions without knowing the outcomes. That's life. It doesn't absolve us from the consequences of our actions. It also doesn't mean we are evil, but simply human. It is in our nature to make mistakes and make bad decisions sometimes.

It seems extremely harsh to judge a woman for doing her best against an enemy that was so much stronger than her, but that's the whole point of writing a character like Nana. There are no easy answers.

What was the correct thing to do instead of abandoning Kotaro? How could she have won against AFO? How could one (1) woman do both and do it well?

Nana isn't responsible for what Kotaro did so many years after she left him, but she did leave him. She had a son and then left him because she needed to be a hero. We don't know the exact circumstances of how she had Kotaro, but many fans ask why she had him if she knew her hero job would put him at such risk. Or why she chose to be a hero over being his mother.

Logically, we know it was to save the world. It's just that her choice isn't black and white. She caused a lot of pain in doing what she did, even if she contributed to a lot of joy.

AFO defeating her was inevitable. Like her OFA predecessors, they were alone on their journey. See, it took Deku an army to fight AFO and his influence.

There's also the fact that Nana took Toshinori in after she left Kotaro. Of course she only did it because the kid meant to sacrifice himself for the cause just like her, but it doesn't erase the parallel between Toshinori and Kotaro. One got to enjoy her company until she died because he had the right conditions to be her heir while the other lost her forever because she loved him.

Sadly, her love didn't save Kotaro and didn't make All Might's life easier.

Any person with responsibilities is a person with failures. That rings true for every single bnha hero and villain.

The way I see it, people either have a reason to hate her or not.

Some dislike her 'cause she left Kotaro. Some are unreadable in their judgment and hate her just because she is a woman. Some just dislike her general writing or don't enjoy her type of character.

At the end of the day, Nana Shimura is still a tremendous female character. She inspired All Might himself (he who is hailed as the best hero of all times). She faced AFO alone and she died mocking him with a smile. She sacrificed her happiness and all the things dear to her in order to save the world. Nana passed down OFA and kept hope alive in a time full of violence and chaos. She is one of the best female pro-heroes to have existed and the only female OFA user. He was freaking jacked with muscle because her quirk was float.

Her flaws depict her greatness and the weight on her shoulders. Nana Shimura, everyone.

[evilwickedme]

Tell me more about the significance of Good Guy™ Superman.

Ok I'm typing this all up a second time, a couple of days later, because the first time I typed it all I did it perfectly but it was on my laptop and the hellsite fuckin goofed and it's all gone now so that made me sad. I can't promise to hit all the points I wanted to hit but I'll do my best

We gotta start by clarifying that in the tags that triggered this ask I did specifically say that clark/kal-el/superman being a Good Boy is important to me. I note this because while I have very good justifications for why it's important to me that he's a Good Person™, I acknowledge that this is one of those cases where the facts may back me up, but it genuinely just comes down to matters of individual taste.

So, like, big picture here: superman is Moses. I've talked about this before, you've read about this before, this is more fact than opinion. The parallels are obvious, and loud, and obnoxiously repeated in online spaces just as much as in books such as up, up and oy vey (this is not a recommendation, just pointing out that it's universally acknowledged pretty much everywhere). I'm not going to waste my breath trying to convince you of this fact. Superman is Moses. Moses is, in Judaism, possibly the holiest man to ever live. The first in the prophets. As many of you may recall, in my lecture on Jewish superheros, I argued that Jewish ideas of prophecy found their way into the modern Jewish stories being told by the comic book authors creating the very first superheroes - the very first superhero, of course, being superman.

One noteworthy thing about prophecy as described by Maimonides? The most basic component of prophecy isn't actually talking to god or receiving holy visions, it's actually just... Doing good. Good™. Good as an action, good as an innate need, good for the people around you and the people of the whole world. Moses showed this tendency as a young man - privileged, raised in the house of the pharaoh, he couldn't stand seeing any man get beaten, even if he was a slave. He loses his home over this, the family who raised him. He sees a man getting unjustly punished, and he kills the oppressor over it. And when he goes out again the next day and sees two Hebrews fighting, he tries to stop this as well (Exodus 2). Moses is our holiest prophet; before he ever even acknowledges God's existence, he feels the need to do good and prevent evil; superman is Moses; superman must follow a similar path of goodness as an innate need followed by action.

That's all big picture stuff, though. There's the smaller stuff, too. Not my bigger analysis of comic book heroes and the ideas of prophecy in Maimonides' writing, because honestly that's just... A lot. When it comes down to it, it is so much more satisfying to me that Superman is a person.

He's the first superhero, right? And he's got this insane level of power not really often seen since. Any person who attempts to defeat him needs to use a mix of his one singular weakness and genuine cunning, because there's really no brute forcing your way passed fucking superman. So yeah, you could tell a story like that of the Boys (although I didn't make it past episode 3 of that, my apologies). You could tell a cynical story where terrible people do terrible things and it all gets waved away. But the boys isn't really a story about people who happen to get powers - it's a story about people who have power, positions of authority, government officials and the like, not just superpowers.

That's not Clark Kent's story. Clark Kent is an illegal immigrant who was raised by good people in secrecy. He's handed superpowers, yes, but very rarely power - he's a journalist with farmboy training, and his greatest nemesis is a billionaire who becomes the fucking president of the united states. He fought Hitler in WWII, did you know that? He represents good because it makes for a compelling story. The underdog who's secretly not an underdog at all, choosing every day to fight evil and represent truth (being a reporter is vital to both of these, in case you're wondering). Yeah, he's a bit of a shit dad to Connor, but him not being a perfect person doesn't make him not a good one, especially since - again - in my definition of good, goodness is an action, and one you constantly have to perform and perfect and adapt to changing times.

Going back to Judaism - in Jewish tradition, we all have the force of evil and the force of good inside of us (yetzer hara and yetzer hatov). The word yetzer comes from the same root as the word for creation - we are capable of creating evil and creating good. Superman represents hope and justice because he chooses every day to create good.

And that, in a nutshell, is why it is so important to me that Kal El-Clark Kent-Superman is a Good Guy. Because he can be.

[anavi-vrg]

My thoughts on my Day 5's drawings

Day 5 & 6 original post: 🌸

Man, Day 5 and 6 hit me in the feels a little bit too hard, that quote killed me

And meanwhile the Day 5 speedpaint is exporting, i'm going to write some of my thoughts on the individual illustrations that i did for this day.

First of all i wanted to draw every UU character that appeared in this arc at least once.

Have you seen Chikara's school?! it's so fucking big! There's no way Feng was the only P.E. teacher there, i have been in very small schools and they had at least 2. So i wanted to draw some of my ocs, that even though they aren't really average in terms of physical power, just seeing the absolute insanity that is Feng. I tried to make the illusion of a movement so fast, that Chikara's camera couldn't catch it without some blurring, like in Dr. Stone when Kohaku's movement always comes out blurry bcs she's that fast. (from left to right, the short version of the ocs' names are: Mari, Petra, Addler Xia and Lud)

2. i just wanted an excuse to draw Fuuko and Gina with my two most wholesome, nature-loving ocs (An and Marcel), Gina was meant to appear in this one and a ninth drawing, but Gina's presence just wasn't there, i looked at my sketch and thought "this is not Gina, she's not here"

3. UU science couple with my ocs' science team (left to right: Are {i hate his name, i need to change it}, Paula, Saulo and Todd), i feel that i didn't do justice to Nico and Ichico looking very ghostly with that skin color, i had to wing it based on the colored pages, also i felt that i was disrespecting both of them with that robot, but i still finished it, i'm in too deep to back down.

4. it's impossible that Sean didn't goof around some clubs, he's an actor, he had visited the music and drama club at least once, so i just put my most music related ocs in the place of the teachers in charge of them, Christi would have really loved to goof around.

5. I didn't know what to do with Billy, but i imagined that at least some teachers and students would have a crush for him, so i just put Mari for that role, Tella definetly used Untell on her so she can't get near Billy.

6. Grandpa Isshin! i originally wanted to draw both Isshins in the context of a school daycare, Grandpa Isshin and some teachers that have kids, picking their respective kids. But i wanted the spotlight on these two, so i scraped the idea. There was a point were i was overthinking Grandpa Isshin's eyebrows and how it reminded me of my late Grandpa's eyebrows, almost cried at that one.

7. Same as Feng but with Mui, also made Xia come back after she fainted with Feng, i felt incredibly cursed by Shen's presence in my canvas, after seeing the things i saw in my TL on twitter, i couldn't see Shen without thinking about it, so in the speedpaint there's a section where i put my refences and the characters specific colors from the anime, except for Shen, i stopped the recording bcs i felt cursed to have the anime reference in my canvas)

8. Drama club! also Chikara is here, maybe acting will help him with his Unmove, this one has the cursed unshaded eyes in the speedpaint, everytime i looked at their eyes i remembered @tadpolebobatea, once the speedpaint is ready i will curse all of you with the unshaded eyes.

[lloydfrontera]

PENIS ARC??? what's the penis arc???😭

(I haven't read cpsm yet but i don't mind spoilers btw)

it's the arc that makes me look insane when i tell people cpsm is a great novel and that they should totally read it. bk moon did this to torture me specifically.

spoilers under read more

tldr (stolen from @/ying-doodles): vampire lord can't get it up, they surgically implant a tiny hear into his balls to do it for him

longer answer is.... actually that's pretty much it. vampire lord hildert is married to a human woman, she wants children, he wants to give her anything she wants but can't because being undead means he cannot get an erection. he heard there's a prince running around doing miracles so he thought to give it a chance and see if he could help with the issue.

rakiel treats this with all the seriousness it deserves, never making hildert feel embarrassed for what is a medical condition outside of his control and promises to do his best to search for a solution without compromising his reputation nor leaking any private details of the situation.

it's actually infuriating what a good character moment this is for rakiel. he's such a good doctor.

eventually he finds the solution on some old research the king had commissioned some 20 years before right around the time og rakiel had been born. a man made organic heart meant to replace a child's weak and frail one. a young father's futile efforts to keep his baby alive.

and then rakiel uses it to give a vampire an erection. yay.

i liked that the comedy of the arc wasn't,,, it wasn't about making fun of hildert. like yeah out of context it does sounds funny but the way bk moon's presents it makes it clear that it's a genuine struggle and a source of embarrassment and shame for a lot of people and doctors should treat it just as seriously as any other condition that affects the quality of life of their patients. rakiel is extremely professional the entire time, keeping all of his screaming completely internal and doing his utmost to give hildert a good treatment.

no the comedy comes from the fact that rakiel is such a good doctor who refuses to betray his patient's confidentiality that when he starts doing research to cure erectile dysfunction and rumors spread about it, he allows people to believe he's the one affected. even when it becomes a matter of national security because the crown prince Can Not be impotent. it's very funny and he takes full advantage of it lmao

it's a weird ass arc and i hate that bk moon made me read it in the first place.... but it's not bad. do you understand this. it's not a bad arc. i hate that he wrote it but he wrote it as well as one can write an arc about this.

so i'm gonna need to ask a favor from all of you. if you're gonna make fun of this arc go ahead have fun. but please for the love of god, do not call it bad. because it's not. and if you call it bad i'm gonna get defensive and i cannot be the person who defends cpsm's penis arc online. i cannot. please spare me this terrible fate.