#the whole need to have ya in programs like this while the same ya authors constantlyrip on stuff like gatsby etc is part of an extended | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

safertokiss · 4 years

Text

Concentrated Interests

A/N: Hola my friends! This fic was my entry for the Secret Fic Swap I participated in with a couple of close friends on here and it was written and dedicated to @nerdgirljen. It was so much fun to write and thank you guys so much for all the support and love!

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: Fluff and SMUT

Word Count: 3.3k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

Spencer had never really understood the concept of soulmates or love at first sight.

In his mind, it defied pretty much every scientific law about human interaction out there and was simply a coping mechanism for those who were romantically unlucky. At least that was what he had thought until a certain tech analyst walked through the BAU’s doors and into his life.

He was frozen. Totally and utterly enamored by the woman his eyes were currently attached to. He watched her stumble into the bullpen, a large box situated in her arms, seemingly impairing the entirety of her vision and coordination, evident by the way she kept bumping into things in her path. It wasn’t until she hit a particular desk corner and spilled the contents of the box, her belongings scattering across the floor, that Spencer broke out of his stupor and took action.

“Woah there, let me help you with that!”, he exclaimed, immediately rushing to her side and starting to collect some of the fallen items to put back into the box.

“Oh, thank you so much. Gah, this is so embarrassing. I promise you I’m not always this uncoordinated and clumsy”, she explained with a nervous chuckle. After everything was picked up and they both had stood up from their crouched positions, she hurriedly straightened out her skirt before outstretching her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” She immediately noticed the slight panic that crossed his features at her gesture and was momentarily confused.

“I-uh-I kind of don’t, um, do the whole hand shaking thing. Yeah, uh, the number of pathogens spread through a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to...oh god I’m sorry you didn’t ask for a full-out science lesson. It’s, um, really nice to meet you, I’m Reid. Doctor. Spencer”, he sputtered out nervously.

Chuckling softly, Y/n retracted her hand, opting to instead lightly nudge his shoulder. “Well Reid Doctor Spencer, it’s nice to meet you too”, a teasing smile adorning her face as she spoke. Spencer quickly felt a warm blush spread across his features at the absurdity of his introduction.

“S-sorry about that. What I meant to say is that my name is-”

“Pretty boy!”

Both of their heads swiveled towards the sound, searching for the source, before landing on a man across the room.

“Hotch needs us in the briefing room. Stop flirting with the new girl and get your ass in here!” They watched him walk away chuckling before turning back to each other.

“Pretty boy huh? Well I guess it’s fitting, I mean you do have really nice cheekbones and dimples. And your eyes are kind of beautiful. Not that I ummmm-not that I think you’re beautiful or anything, it’s just uhhh...um...I’m gonna stop talking now.” Spencer could feel the blush returning to his features, watching the same happen to her, from the frenzied rambling that had just poured from her lips, but he found it endearing on her and quite honestly, really adorable.

“I-uh I gotta go, you know, um deal with that, but it was very nice meeting you”, he sputtered out, sending a small wave in her direction. She shyly giggled at his nervousness which was surely reflected on her end as well. “See ya around Reid Doctor Spencer.”

“Spencer. It’s um-it’s Spencer.”

“Spencer”, she repeated back softly, nodding him off with a gentle smile on her face.

~~~

Spencer Reid was in love. The longer she was around him the more he realized he was completely and utterly in love with her, all of her. She was perfect in his eyes, intelligent, funny, a bit nerdy and just so adorable. The problem was just that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her how he felt. He had never really been the type to express his feelings to someone, especially to a girl as beautiful as Y/n.

The female species wasn’t exactly his strong suit and he was very aware of that fact, painfully aware. However, he stayed hopeful that someday soon he’d muster up the courage to express his affinity for her. Realizing that today was definitely not that day, Spencer tried to push his conflict to the back of his brain so he could try to get some work done. Not before noticing that Y/n was slightly late, though.

Less than a minute after he noticed her absence, she came bursting into the bullpen with the largest grin adorning her features, an obvious pep in her step. Spencer watched as she skipped over to the rest of the team who were gathered around Emily’s desk, close enough where he could pretty much hear the majority of the words exchanged and profile their reactions.

He heard JJ ask what was making her so chipper this morning, and he chuckled softly to himself as he heard her immediately start rambling about whatever had her so elated.

“Oh my god guys, you’ll never believe it! So a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me to help her with her website, because well...tech geek and all, so I got to mess around with all the software and went crazy! I was able to fiddle with the source code a bit and authorize a super high CRO and SEO to get her website out there. Not to mention all the growth hacking I was able to curate! Cool right?”

Y/n stopped to take a breath and noticed that the entirety of the team was staring at her with vacant expressions on their faces. She looked on with widened eyes as she asked, “What?”

“CRO?”, JJ questioned. Morgan awkwardly chuckled out a similar questioning tone, “SEO?” Of course that left Emily to bring up the rear. “Did I hear growth hacking in there?”

Her face scrunched up in confusion at all the questions that had just been hurled her way so suddenly. “Huh?”

“Baby girl we have absolutely no idea what any of the things you just mentioned are or what they do”, Morgan explained with a sympathetic smile on his face, as the other members nodded in agreement.

Spencer watched as Y/n’s face quickly morphed into one of utter disappointment at the knowledge that her colleagues had no clue what she was going on about. She had seemed so excited when she entered the bullpen earlier so he assumed she was probably very much looking forward to getting to talk all about it with her friends.

“Oh...that’s ok. Sorry for bothering you guys, sometimes I just get a little too excited and tend to ramble. I’ll um-I’ll talk to you guys later.” Y/n flashed them a small smile before making her way over to her desk, situated across the room near Spencer.

“Hey Spence”, she shyly waved as she passed, a deflated look on her face. Trying to lift her spirits at least a little, he returned her gesture with a huge grin and wave, happy to see her smile brighten a bit at his enthusiasm.

Once she was seated and facing away from him, he immediately found himself feeling overwhelmingly upset over her predicament. He hated seeing her look so defeated and down, she didn’t deserve to ever feel like that. She was simply too angelic for those kinds of feelings to permeate her mind.

Spencer wished more than anything that he knew what she was talking about so she could go to him. He’d let her ramble to him for hours on end if it meant he could listen to her melodic voice and see her beautiful face up close.

All of sudden Spencer slapped his hand against his head and groaned, “Of course you dipshit”, before pulling up a couple tabs on his computer.

For the next few hours his work was forgotten as he studied and learned pretty much everything there was to know about technical analysis and the programming that Y/n seemed so ecstatic about, anxious to give her, at last, a companion to discuss her passion with.

~~~

“See you later Reid!”

Spencer’s head snapped up as he heard the people around him saying their goodbyes and goodnights, realizing that he had been distracted by his screen the entire day and that it was already time to go home. He watched as his friends walked out together, all laughing about something that Morgan had said, before noticing movement in the corner of his eye.

As he turned his head he noticed that the only person who was still there in the bullpen with him was Y/n, and she was staring at the posse that had just exited the room, a longing look plastered across her features that broke his heart. Taking a deep breath and deciding it was now or never, he rose up from his seated position and made his way over to her, hoping that he had learned enough to lighten her mood.

“Hey there!”, he exclaimed when he had found himself right behind her. As soon as the words started escaping his lips, she jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her heart.

“Jesus Christ Spence! You scared the complete shit out of me!”

Chuckling softly at her overreactive response, he moved to sit on her desk, facing her heavily breathing sitting figure. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you that you were still here and was wondering why you hadn’t left with everyone else?” She quickly looked down and blushed at his questioning, embarrassed of her answer.

“Oh I-um they just looked like they were having a lot of fun and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I thought I’d stay back for a little bit to-uh finish up some stuff.” Once she finished her unconvincing explanation, Spencer leaned back a bit and studied her. While this was something he found himself doing often, always getting distracted by her spectacular figure, he focused on her body language more than anything, noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes.

“Y/n, you look absolutely exhausted. Have you even been sleeping lately?”, he asked, genuine concern laced within his words.

“Y-yeah I haven’t really. I’ve kind of been pretty preoccupied in the last few days helping out a friend. It’s really fun, but it’s also very time consuming”, she stuttered out, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Oh right! I had heard you mention that earlier today! That must be awesome getting to basically build your own website!”

“I swear I feel like a kid in a candy store doing that kind of stuff. I just find it so relaxing and exciting at the same time!”

“I totally get it. I was really impressed with how well you were able to manipulate the site’s conversion rate optimization-did you know that a site’s CRO and SEO are considered as two of the most essential tools required to run a thriving website or online business. It’s actually astounding how much the results differ between competition depending on their efficiency.”

All Y/n could do, while Spencer rambled on and on about her most passionate subjects, was sit there in complete awe. The sound of the tech-geeky words that spilled from his beautiful lips was simply orgasmic. Never had she met someone who seemed as enthused as her when it came to all her technical endeavors, and she didn’t know exactly how to react. Her biggest crush on the entire planet was sitting in front of her spouting off facts like they were going out of style.

However, amidst all the wonder that circulated through her being, confusion washed over her.

“Wait hold up! What’s going on Spence?”

“Uhhh, what do you mean?”, he questioned shyly, a blush coating his face.

Narrowing her eyes at him she expanded her questioning. “I’ve known you for months now and I can guarantee I have never once heard you mention anything even remotely technical. In fact I’ve heard you explain time and time again how confused you are by the complexities of the simplest of technology. Spill, pretty boy”, she demanded, maintaining eye contact with him.

Figuring out that he had been caught, he shyly lowered his head as the blush on his face deepened, embarrassment coursing through his veins. “I-I noticed how excited you were this morning when you came parading into the office, the wide grin that adorned your face, the skip in your step. And I heard you ramble on and on about your friend’s website and you just seemed so damn happy and then they basically just shut you down right away because they didn’t understand and I-uh I hated seeing you like that and wanted you to have someone to talk to. So I spent all day today researching and learning so you could have someone to talk to, so you wouldn’t feel alone. I-I’m sorry if that’s creepy or if it’s too-”

Spencer was suddenly cut off mid-sentence as lips smashed against his own, effectively shutting him up. His eyes immediately widened at the bold action, before he melted into the kiss, desperately responding to her fervent advances with an equal passion.

Y/n moaned into his mouth as his tongue probed at her wet lips, begging for entry. The feeling of their tongues entangling was euphoric and they both wanted, needed more. Spencer gently grabbed her and, turning so they were both facing it, lifted her onto the desk and stood between her legs. As the kiss deepened, their hands began to tear at each other’s clothing, Y/n hastily undoing his tie and dress shirt as he all but ripped off her blouse, groaning at the sight.

“God Y/n you’re so fucking beautiful.” He watched her eyes roll back into her head at his words as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. “Please Spence, I need you. I need you so much baby.” His eyes sparkled at her desperate plea, mirroring her need wholeheartedly.

Backing away slightly he unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs along with her panties, quickly reaching up to also unclasp her bra. “You’ve got me baby, you’ve got me.”

She surged forward and reconnected their lips, her hands weaving their way into his hair and tugging hard. The groan that escaped his throat lit her body on fire and further ignited her need for the man in front of her. His hands, that had been cupping her face, drifted downward stooping to briefly toy with her breasts before reaching his intended destination.

She moaned loud and deep as his hands cupped her sex, gently rubbing his fingers against her. He could feel her buck her hips slightly, searching for more. Receiving the message loud and clear, he inserted his pointer finger into her, reveling in the throaty groans that poured from her lips. As he added more digits into her and gently rubbed her clit, their lips moved rapidly against each other.

Y/n needed more, letting her hands lower to the obvious bulge that was straining against his slacks, palming him incessantly. Moaning hoarsely, he pulled away and quickly undid his pants, desperate for some sort of relief. As he stepped out of his slacks and boxers, he watched her eyes widen as they took in the sight in front of her.

“Woah.” He nervously chuckled at her response.

“Uh t-thanks?”

Giggling at his uncertainty she reached out and dragged him in once again, feeling his swollen tip bump against her, both of them moaning at the euphoric feeling. Realizing how fast things had moved, he pulled back slightly to search her eyes. “Are you sure baby?”

Falling even more in love with him, her smile widened as she nodded. “I am so very sure Spence. I-I love you.” She watched the grin that spread across his face at her confession.

“God Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he lined himself up at her entrance and swiftly thrusted into her dripping heat. The overwhelming feeling caused both of them to let out matching groans of pleasure, Y/n latching onto Spencer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to get a grip. Once he was sure she was ok, he started slowly thrusting in and out of her, soon setting a steady pace.

“Oh Spencer! You feel so perfect inside of me! So, so good!”, you exclaimed, cries of pleasure leaving your mouth.

“Baby you’re so warm and tight around me, I love you so much!”

“I love you t-too!”

He gradually increased his already brutal thrusts, Y/n feeling herself fastly approaching the brink of ecstasy at the hands of the resident genius. Leaning back on her elbows, Spencer used the opportunity to pound even harder into her wanting body, his own release just around the corner.

“Are you going to cum for me pretty girl?” She couldn’t control herself after hearing his dirty words, unaware that he was capable of such a thing, feeling her eyes roll back once again. She nodded fervently, about to crash over the edge. All rational thought was out the window once his fingers found her throbbing clit, rubbing incessantly, catapulting her into her climax, her pussy clenching around his rigid cock as she came.

“Oh my god Spencer!”

Her reactions were simply too much for him, groaning and moaning uncontrollably, finding his thrusts sputtering out of control as his cock twitched deep inside of her, quickly reaching his highly anticipated orgasm. She felt his seed fill her up completely as he panted out her name over and over again, both of them coming down from their highs, breathing deeply.

“Wow. Fucking wow,” she blissfully sung, a wide grin coating her lips.

“Y/n, baby, that was insane. You’re insane.”

He helped her off the desk so they could redress and finally leave the office, noticing how late it had gotten. They couldn’t help themselves from sending each other giddy smiles as they put on their clothes and eventually made their way down to their respective cars.

Neither one of them seemed ready to leave each other just yet, some unspoken feeling crackling in the air between them. Taking the initiative, Y/n leaned forward, gently connecting their lips in a kiss that held the same passion from earlier, but was much more relaxed and romantic. Pulling back after a few moments, Y/n’s eyes sparkled up at Spencer’s as she spoke.

“Spence, what you did earlier...no one’s ever done something like that for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would go out of your way just to make me feel comfortable and happy.”

“Y/n, I promise you I wanted to wholeheartedly. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I just-I just love you so damn much. I think I have since you walked in and dropped all your shit on the floor”, he said chuckling.

“Heyyyy, that was one time jerk”, she defended, a matching chuckle evident in her voice. “But I know what you mean. I think I’ve loved you since you introduced yourself as Reid Doctor Spencer, that memory will forever be embedded in my mind.” She couldn’t stop the light giggle that fell from her lips at the thought of their first meeting.

Meeting her eyes, suddenly a bit shy, he gently cupped her face, “What if, from now on, I introduced myself as your boyfriend?”, he asked cautiously, anxiously waiting to see how she reacted to his proposition. Instead of answering right away she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.

“I would love nothing more, my gorgeously intelligent boyfriend.”

Taglist: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake @racharr @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie @andiebeaword @liaabsurd @cielo1984 @starkeybaby @victomizedbyreginageorge @rainsong01 @moonlight-jukebox @gretaamyk @httpnxtt @rachelxwayne @watermelonstyl @goldnratio @peakyblinderficrecs @cheyxminds

#criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fic #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencerreidsmut #cm fic #cm smut #mgg fic #mgg #mgg smut #mgg x reader #spencer x reader #fluff #smut

507 notes · View notes

raysofcrosby · 3 years

Note

What was Ethan and Melody’s first time having sex like? Did he plan something special or did it happen naturally? Or did she initiated it? 👀 Did Ethan went and talked to their parents before going for it or just let them know afterwards? I can’t imagine Matthew giving him the sex talk lol

never thought about it bc in the main chapters of wltay ethan’s 8 and like caroline i want him to stay that way ✨forever✨ but obvi after the teasing about 20 year old him and melody in the holiday special i kinda figured i might need to think up something bc ethan is like everyone’s adopted fictional son and they’d want to know.

obvi ethan got the whole puberty/seggs talk in school (and via educational book mentioned in scarlett’s pregnancy chapter. fun fact: there actually is a boys version of that american girl: care and keeping of you body book, written by the same author which i think is v cool), plus matt talked to him (and also recruited his dad, richard and brady bc mans really doesn’t want to talk to his 10 year old about puberty + seggs 😩) and he never really talks much about it (what kid would tbh) unless there’s issues or he has questions and more often than not, he’s embarrassed but still talks to anyone anyway.

BUT REALLY— ethan doesn’t start to ask questions till high school (bc hello, teenagers) and caroline’s normally pretty good at answering them, but also reiterates how he shouldn’t be doing anything until he’s ready and with the right person (but man has been dating melody for like a solid 1-2 years now so lol) and ethan’s normally like “ya i know, but you and dad did it when you were 15,” which is usually when matt butts in somehow with the “and we got pregnant with you at 17, do the math.” 💀 he never really takes it seriously bc man doesn’t want ethan having seggsy time at the risk he might become a grandfather “teen pregnancies can be generational, caroline 😩” and normally miss caroline is like “🙄 shut up matthew, not if we keep the conversation open” kind of reply. and they do, which is why he’s comfortable (while also being slightly embarrassed) whenever caroline or matt ask IF he’s seggsually active or thinking about it.

matt’s not a big fan of the seggs talk for sure, but he obvi knows it’s pretty important. so surprisingly he does however give ethan a bigggggg lecture when he goes off to play for usntdp because he is away from home, a teenage boy and playing hockey for a really good program— and matt knows how it was when he was playing and teen pressures and parties, so he just gives him an all around responsibility and slight threat of: ‘don’t do something stupid and cheat on your girlfriend’ lecture.

anywho, it's not until ethan turns like 16 and is home for winter break when he actually like...pulls matt aside and is all "so um...mel and i have been talking about...ya know." and matt's all red-faced bc hello?? but he talks to him and reiterates the whole safe-seggs thing and is also like "well...do you want your mom to know?" and ethan's all "i was kinda of hoping you'd tell her for me 🥴" and caroline just happens to walk into the room with 10-month-old payson (and is also 5 months preggo w/ oliver) and matt and ethan are just like "🙂" and ethan just blurts it out all "mel and i are thinking about having seggs." and caroline (who is just tired and pregant) is just asking questions about birth control, if they’re being pressured into it, etc all those parent things when it comes to learning your teen might b considering having seggs.

after the fact, they're slighty uneasy about him being seggsually active bc hello, he's their kid and also nervous about ✨babies✨ but also know trust him to be safe and to come to them if anything is ever wrong (esp since he's been open and honest with them since the beginning). so they basically tell him that as long as he's sure about his decision, is comfortable and is safe, that they're not going to like ground him or anything (unless he starts acting stupid and sneaks out and stuff– then they might get a little testy). matt buys him condoms, caroline gives him the re-rundown on safe-sex and pregnancies and both reiterate that birth control isn't 100%– so to use a condom every time and if something happens, then to tell them and they'll buy a plan b (since you have to be 17 to buy) and help them figure it out– bc that's exactly how they had him 🥰

flash forward seven months later, they're back home in st. louis for the summer– ethan's 16, scarlett's 4, payson's 1 and oliver is 3 months– and matt is like “hey, let's go out on a date since we haven't done that in a while. my parents or yours can watch the kids and ethan’s old enough to stay home by himself for a few hours.” well ethan’s all “mel and i are actually going on a date to the movies…so can you guys maybe not go there?” and they’re all “lol sure, cause we’re adults and go on dates at night, not to early evening movies.” and mr boy is hesitant to ask but he does anyway and he’s like “is it okay if she comes over after the movie?” and OBVIOUSLY matt and care are both like 🙂👀 and poor ethan is all “no, no please just stop that’s not what i meant. just to like order pizza or something.” and so they’re like “yes that’s fine, just don’t burn the house down and if something does happen— then be safe.”

both go on their dates, matt + care leave about the time ethan and melody come back from their early movie. they go to dinner and just walk around downtown to look at the sights, maybe hit up a museum or two— whatever parents trying to relax from having kids do lol— and around 10 they’re like “hm let’s head home bc tired.” on the way home matt’s like “do you think they did it?” and caroline just smacks his arm like “let’s not think about that. we told him to be safe, gave him advice and the stuff to do so. we just have to trust him.” and matt’s like “okay yeah, you’re right…but do you think they did it?” and caroline’s just like “i don’t know, matthew, he’s 16 and had the house to himself with his girlfriend over. what do you think?” and matt’s all “🙂 i did a lot with my girlfriend at 16 when no one was home…even when people were home. hell, we even snuck out—“ and caroline just laughs and is like “well, whatever happened, don’t bring it up and just…let him talk about it if he wants to. he’s 16, matty. you remember how awkward it all was when your mom caught us and our parents knew.” to which matt is like “yeah, i guess you’re right. hey, do you mind if we stop at the store?”

after stopping at the store they get home, the living room tv is on and awww melody and ethan are fast asleep (and fully clothed) on the couch and gretzky is sleeping soundly on the floor in front of them. matt’s like “😨 not my couch” to which Caroline shoved him and is like “shut up, they’re fine. just fell asleep, let’s go upstairs.” they do and she stops him from going to check ethan’s room and bathroom and he’s all “i just want to know i’m too impatient to wait for him to tell us when he’s too dumb not to throw the condom away in the bathroom trash or leave his bed unmade 😫” and caroline’s like “he’ll tell us if he wants. bed. now.” to which matt’s all “don’t mind if i do 🤪” (they don’t)

next morning caroline wakes up to matt coming back into their room, she goes downstairs to see ethan and melody are gone. makes herself some coffee and legs gretzky out. ethan comes down the stairs freshly showered and kinda hesitates when he sees caroline (bc hello, he’s a teen boy and it’s still awkward) but then doesn’t and is like “morning” and caroline’s all “morning, how was your movie with melody?” and ethan’s stands out on the backyard deck with her like “it was good. you guys should see it.” and caroline’s all “mm maybe.” like we’re talking some small talk to fill the awkwardness before mans just sighs and is like “dad already knows cause he came down this morning right after mel left and i told him. but we had seggs last night— and no, not on the couch, i promise we went to my room.” “that’s fine ethan, just as long as you were safe—“ “i didn’t mean for it to happen- i mean, it wasn’t planned. i didn’t lie to you guys when i told you we weren’t going to. it just kind of happened…i don’t know, like it felt right, does that make sense?” and caroline’s like “it makes perfect sense, ethan. dad and i were…younger than we probably should have been our first time, but for us it was we were with the right person, the timing felt right and we were comfortable with the idea and safe. so as long as that’s what happened last night, then it’s all okay.”

and ethan’s like relieved— cause even though matt + care said they wouldn’t be mad as long as he was safe, he was still nervous actually telling them bc hello it’s just kind of embarrassing telling your parents you lost your virginity, no matter how close of a relationship you have. but the awkwardness is gone and they just talk about how melody is doing back here in st. louis and the plans for today until Gretzky is ready to come back in. when he is, they all come back into the house where matt is walking into the living room holding onto the small cake he made caroline stop at the store for last night and is all smiles like “here you go, e! 🙂” (AND MAN LITERALLY PULLS A LONELY ISLAND I JUST HAD SEX CAKE GIF MOMENT)

to which ethan just turns red in the face and caroline’s like “THAT’S why we stopped at the store matthew? 😡” and matt’s all “nooo, we stopped at the store because i wanted cake. me writing this just all depended on whether or not he did it. and since he did, which thank you for not ruining my couch, i wrote on it in the best way to tease him in the most lovingly parental way i know how.” and meanwhile they’re all there like 😇🥴🐶👿 and ethan’s like “…thanks, dad.” and goes to grab the cake but matt’s like “oh no, this cake is mine. i just wanted to embarrass you the same way mom and i were embarrassed when mimi walked in on us in the hot tub.” and Caroline takes the cake from him and is like “we’re all eating the cake and i’m scraping this off. no more teasing him or i’ll tell him all the embarrassing times you—“ and poor ethan’s just panicking like “please don’t, i don’t want to know those...”and matt just laughs and pats him on the shoulder and is all “well, it’s just fatherly love, but really…thanks for being honest with us, it’s important to us that you feel comfortable enough to talk to us about this stuff. just, stay safe and don’t make us grandparents while we’re in our thirty’s thanks<3”

but that’s why Ethan gets so flustered easily whenever matt teases him (like in the holiday special) no matter how old he is bc mans literally got him a cake that said “congrats on the seggs” and gave it to him the morning after he lost his virgin*ty. 🥲

#don’t mind the seggs #tumblr ya know #anon #answered #wltay: ethan tkachuk

14 notes · View notes

alienisticxo · 3 years

Text

X Angel - Chapter Two

Elon Musk x Reader

{Authors Note} Thanks to some encouragement on AO3 I will be continuing this strange little story. So if you happen to come across it, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: An uncomfortable instance.

Bright white camera bulbs flashed in every direction, the shrill ringing of screams filling my ears until I couldn’t hear myself think anymore. I was blinded by the light that flooded with every rapid click, snapping away at my every move as I exited the Cybertruck I’d been driven in. I was already fashionably late to a discreet -or maybe not so, now- meeting set up by the head representatives of my record label, Astra Records. My manager had decided to tip off the media, and my publicist decided to make it an event without it exactly being one.

It was a complex task, staring into those brazen flashes without so much as a flinch, but that was what was required of me. That was my job and life’s mission for as long as I held the position I did. The ‘drugged out’ smile I was known for never faltered as the flawless chrome of my body reflected every photographer's shining glamor shot right back into their lenses. Despite being surrounded by personnel, security and otherwise, people still clawed and clamored their way forward in an attempt to invade my space as I walked toward the large building before me.

“{Y/N}, over here!” one yelled.

“Give us a wink, will ya?” yelled another.

“I’d fucking die for you!” a shriek made itself heard over everyone else in the roaring crowd.

I just smiled and continued to trek, my {H/C} hair drifting around my face and behind me. I concentrated on my gait, my posture, the way my expression felt as I stepped past my adoring audience.

One misstep and it’s all over, of course.

Occasionally I thought about what a strange thing fame was. People would die or kill for you, just to see you or speak to you. We were all the same, deep down. No matter the wiring or blood that ran under our skin, or chrome. The only ones who seemed to place others on pedestals for no true reason other than a little talent that thousands of others had and would never get the chance to share, were other lifeforms. What really made someone want to know me more than another being who can do the same things, maybe even better? The only difference between myself and someone who possessed the same talents was that no one except the other party’s close circle of friends and family knew of their capabilities. We did it to ourselves, really. If only everyone were looked at the same way.

My security guards pushed against me then, catching me off guard in a crucial moment that could’ve been dangerous for me in more ways than one. They were blocking a rogue fan who’d been dying to ‘feel me.’

I tensed up in the absolute slightest manner as I followed Jett, my manager, into the tall metallic building that was made up of glass, but reflected the entire city skyline on its exterior, catching the neon glow, Saturn and the twinkling stars above with it. Privacy was a must, of course. Being able to see out but not being able to see in was imminent for any corporation’s design. The large double doors that disappeared with a glitch as we approached, reappeared behind us as we stepped further into the lobby of Astra Records. The noise of the rowdy crowd just beyond the front steps of the building sounded as though it was sucked back outside and muffled, like someone had put a lid over the heaps of people screaming my name.

“You’d think they wouldn’t need those old school cameras anymore,” I commented, the exasperation in my voice clear as I relaxed a bit more from escaping the masses, disappearing deeper into the lobby until the sound was no longer audible at all.

“{Y/N}, how else are they going to send the pictures back to Earth?” Jett asked me, a hint of condescension in his tone before pausing.

“People sure are different here aren’t they? They worship you celebrities like gods, worse than little fangirls back on Earth.”

I stared ahead, continuing my trek to the teleportation pad without entertaining his thoughts.

“Fuck, I’m in the wrong business,” he continued in slight disbelief to himself. “Maybe I’ll figure out how to go chrome and become a star instead of managing all you shitheads,” he joked snidely, a nasty grin on his metal-grilled teeth as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at me.

Jett had come to X from Earth after having no luck finding any clients to manage once the great exodus of the rich and famous began. Places like Los Angeles, New York City, London and Tokyo had already been cut throat with the industry players. Once everything fell out, no one trusted a soul to handle their affairs anymore.

It wasn’t hard to see that Jett wasn’t exactly a clean cut looking person to begin with, either.

It was my luck I’d be stuck with him at Astra, but I knew in all aspects I was just that— lucky. I didn’t complain. How could I?

However, as he put it, he hitched a ride on the next flight out and got to work right away with the record label. It was just that easy, and he was just that good.

Sure.

“It doesn’t work like that,” I finally responded in a flat tone to his statement, my eyes scanning the confines of the space as we stood a few feet from the pad. Jett pulled the oversized and black-reflective shades from his eyes then, turning his body to look at me. He lecherously stepped closer before running his -what I assumed to be- warm fingers down the side of my cold cheek slowly, his eyes raking up and down my frame. My jaw clenched unbeknownst to him, and I kept my gaze straight ahead.

“You are a sweet design, I’ll give them that… If it weren’t for security on your ass all the time…”

His eyes moved to the front doors in the near distance behind me as my security team approached us from their previous position handling the crowd, and with that, he let out an abrupt howl, snapping his fingers against the palm of his hand and turning back to lead me upstairs with a cocky gait.

It was moments like that that made my stomach churn. I had to deal with the disgusting remarks and actions, to take them like a champ without even indicating that I acknowledged them at all.

If I did, it was my life on the line.

I was just glad that was the extent of it from him. Even more grateful that that was the extent of it from anyone.

With a silent exhale, and no outward show of disapproval, I swiftly followed behind him onto the teleportation device, ignoring everything he’d said like it simply never happened. With one quick scan of our bodies, as fast as I blinked my {E/C} eyes, we were standing outside of the boardroom I’d only seen twice before. Once to meet the representatives, and the last time to sign myself away to them. As my security team entered next, I searched my surroundings again. The whole floor, who’s exterior wall overlooked another angle of Drax City and a beautiful moon above it, felt familiar as I caught sight of the usual decor. It was dark save for the neon buzzed along the walls, palm trees that were coated in a glittery powder that grew on the leaves as per a new gardening experiment sat in pots in corners next to chrome coated lounge couches and translucent coffee tables. A muted holographic television screen played Astra’s channel on it against a wall, and I saw myself there, giving the last corrupt public service announcement that the Planet X Space Association worked with the label for so long and so hard to have me release to the masses. PXSA was our form of government and space flight. An odd combination, but one nonetheless. I didn’t necessarily believe in the things they forced me to read aloud; fill the heads of the unwise and naive with. But the check was nice, and I was in no position to decline their wishes.

The large area was cast in purple, blue and pink light as nostalgic pinball machines blinked from a short distance away, offering a “glimpse into the past.” Another client, brand new, sat on a couch and played a video game through the latest virtual reality headset, the images they saw being cast across another holographic screen while they waited. It was all very pretty, really, very modern and yet fantastical as I had remembered it from before. But despite the ethereal atmosphere, I still felt uneasy.

I had no idea who I was meeting and what I was meeting them for this time. No one ever seemed to feel the need to tell me much of anything when it came to business affairs. I was told where to go, I showed up on schedule or a little late, and I did what I had to do as I learned what that was upon arrival. The rest was simply code and programming to the people who ran my life; there was no room for error, and I had to learn fast and according to the individual's expectations of me-- or better. I followed Jett down the long purple hued hallway just off of the lounge area, his sleazy demeanor seeping from his pores as he stalked his way to another pair of double doors and stopped as it scanned his body. He looked back over his shoulder at me once more with a smirk before turning and walking through them dramatically, announcing my presence as though I were some prized show pony come to a town where nothing ever happened.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, Drax City’s own, {Y/F/N}... {Y/L/N}!”

That was my cue.

He stepped aside, his hands reaching out and over to exhibit my presence once I made my way through the doors behind him and stopped in my tracks, my heels still seeming to echo through the large room. Holding my head up high -chin slightly in the air like the small, but statuesque figure I was- was expected from me. And as I held my position, I immediately noticed eleven pairs of eyes sitting around an iridescent boardroom table that were set on nothing other than me as they quickly and quietly gasped and gawked.

“Her figure, the quality,” one drew out.

“I didn’t expect her to be so… so lifelike, in person,” said another.

“Oh yeah, she’s a real beauty,” said Jett, stepping around me then, his hand tightening around the metallic surface of my waist before raking through my hair as though I were a child’s doll. “X hasn’t seen a model like this… Ever. She’s the most famous pop star on our planet— They can’t get enough, eat her up like candy. That’s why she doesn’t come cheap, boys.”

He patted my side then, making me feel like a used car being sold by a greaseball salesman.

That caught my attention, though. My head turned just a hair, but I caught myself before anyone could realize my reaction. I ground my teeth, trying to compose myself through the abrupt shock I was facing. Quickly fixating my line of sight on a neon lamp in the shape of a star that burned in the corner, I desperately attempted to hold my composure. My ears seemed to have failed me however, my thoughts taking front and center as the men briefly discussed things amongst themselves.

Are they going to sell me? To who? Why?

“Oh, we know all about her on Earth. That’s why we want her. We can imagine she’s a planetary treasure here on X, but she’s interplanetary. Labels, execs, people, would just kill to get their hands on her,” one man said, looking at me with a fever in his eye. I guessed he might’ve been the catalyst for my… purchase. The word tasted bitter on my tongue even as a mere thought.

“They’d listen to anything she tells them to do.”

Jett smirked, lifting a shoulder and asserting dominance in his own way.

“She goes to the highest bidder,” he responded blatantly. “And none of this ‘cash’ bullshit. She’s obviously makin’ us a lotta crypto. No one else can afford her. That’s why she’s still with us here at Astra.”

I allowed myself to slowly absorb the situation, then. Astra was trying to deal me away to Earth, the very place I’d almost died trying to escape, all for monetary gain. It wasn’t unheard of, stars being sent to Earth and even back again, but I was X’s golden girl. Or maybe chrome…

They needed me. More than they thought, I now realized. They couldn’t replace me.

Or maybe I was the one mistaken, maybe they could.

As my eyes scanned the area, I also noticed the nature of the collective individuals that sat before me. All in black and gray pressed suits, all male. They’d come here solely to make a deal, an offer Astra couldn’t refuse, and they weren’t leaving without a signed contract, empty pockets, and my life. Fight or flight kicked in, hitting me like a brick, but I couldn’t react. Everything was in slow motion, and it was killing me from the inside out, not being able to protest. It wasn’t in my nature, but I had to play ball now, and well.

One of the suited men stood up from a chair that floated behind the iridescent glazed table, which I now noticed held the reflection of the cityscape that could be seen through the windowed exterior wall as well. He walked over to me with a drilling stare, his stride confident and assertive.

“And this is 100% cybernetic?” He asked Jett, as though I weren’t even in the room.

“Yes,” he spat incredulously.

“What model is she? From who?”

The man stood before me, eyeing me from top to bottom. I wanted to scream.

“That’s the thing,” Jett began again, moving to lean against the table. “We don’t know. She was left at our doors with a letter to the CEO, like some orphaned child. Said she had no recollection of anything other than her programming. We’re lucky her programming was to be a singer,” he finished with a snide grin.

The man snorted then. The tale was unbelievable, sure, but they had no choice but to believe it. There was simply no other excuse for me. A.I. was common, but I was as human as they were going to get, at least for the foreseeable future. That alone made me quite the commodity, something to be revered by other corporations, enterprises and record labels who needed a workhorse without the demands of humans. People saw themselves in me, they felt they could relate, or become just like me someday. This kept them eating out of the palm of whoever’s hand I spoke for and persuaded them to.

Still, the way my mind worked was not the same way as other A.I. beings. I had real demands in order to work, not lifting a finger otherwise, and I made sure they learned this once it was too late— once they couldn’t let me go anymore.

Unless you had enough crypto, apparently.

The older man examined what he could of my body with no regard for my own thoughts on the matter, looking everywhere for any indication of a branding or a code. His brow furrowed when he found none.

“Who are you?” he asked me then, seeming quite perplexed.

“{Y/N},” I smiled. “Drax City’s very own.”

“Where are you from?”

“Planet X, sir. Made and programmed. It’d be an honor to work with you and your people,” I lied. “This city gets kind of boring when you’ve done it all,” I finished exasperatedly.

“Very realistic,” he commented to Jett, his eyes still studying my face. “A.I. just keeps getting better and better. This is incredible. She’s so… human.”

“Did you think we were fuckin’ lying to you? I’m sure you’ve seen her all over TV, she might as well be a person. She thinks, she feels. Hell, I think I’ve seen her cry before,” he said, taking an apple that sat untouched and forever ripe from a bowl on the table. “And she doesn’t even rust.”

They conversed between each other then, deciding my fate with nothing more than cryptocurrency hanging between us. I wasn’t listening anymore, maybe it was a coping mechanism. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the notion that they would just sell me away to Earth. Maybe I just didn’t want to think they would. They used me for everything they did, advertisements, sold out shows, records— even virtual reality experiences. They made crypto over crypto, dollars upon dollars, thanks to cutting government deals as long as I told everyone to listen. I showed up to every event, knew everyone who was anyone, and then a few more people. If they needed something, I’d do it. If I needed something, they’d do it. That’s just how this worked.

Until now.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when a man standing near the corner closest to the window that I hadn’t noticed before, finally spoke up.

The lights from the city beyond cast a glow over his features, mixing with the neon that lit up the room itself. I knew exactly who he was the moment my attention turned to him, not only by his face, but by his deep voice as well.

Attractive, tall, dark haired and with a presence that could command a room despite the quirkiness that he was often known for, it took everything in me to keep from going slackjawed and wide-eyed. His eccentricities were a staple of his personality, and enigmatic wasn't a word enough to describe him and the aura that surrounded him. Anyone would’ve recognized the man, no matter where they hailed from, and yet, his presence certainly caught me off guard. He was even better than the photos.

He was Elon Musk.

Elon was one of Earth’s most influential people, if not the most influential person. But on X, there was a mixed opinion of him that wasn’t exactly warranted. Though he had helped humans become an interplanetary species, among so many other things, as artificial intelligence became more prevalent, it began to turn on its creators. This caused quite a rift between the cyber world and the human world, lending more firepower behind the crime that had already begun to lace the streets due to the advancement that kept average people struggling to make ends meet and survive in the new world.

Elon was blamed for the downfall despite the warnings he’d cautioned the public with for years. It wasn’t until Neuralink was released to the public for use that humanity began to appreciate him again on a grander scale. He seemed to single handedly salvage humanity, curing medical issues that otherwise had no solution, allowing humans to live for much longer with far better quality of life. Of course, until Earth fell apart again.

Planet X, though, was built on technology; on futuristic ways of existing that he himself had paved the way for, thus causing its inhabitants to maintain far less respect for him. To Xians, futurism was par for the course. Elon wasn’t special there anymore. They ate advanced technology and cybernetics for breakfast, and spat it out into something better for lunch.

But to me, he was still a hero. Though we’d never so much as come close to each other, he had never let me down before. From electric vehicles to space travel, to underground tunnels and mock flamethrowers, his creative and profound mind was something I’d always admired from the moment I learned of his existence.

He had his share of blunders like much everyone else, but overall, I knew he was a decent man. No one had ever made it their life’s mission to help humanity on such a large scale with the capability he had, especially in some of the worst times of what we knew to be Earth’s existence. He valued helping humanity, and he was always honest about doing so. Elon Musk’s intelligence was beyond comprehension, in a way that made anyone want to sit down and pick his brain. And, well, he had a sense of humor on top of it all that made him feel more real than the idea of him even seemed.

I wasn’t sure what to think of him on a personal level, most people had good things to say, others horror stories. I never thought about it too much or imagined him to be any kind of way, not wanting to tarnish any of the admiration I already had for him. I never expected to meet the man himself despite my position in the galaxy. I was a star, but he was far beyond me. Deep down though, I just hoped he was kind, nice; even if they say to never meet your heroes, because they’re usually quite the opposite.

It took every ounce of control to remain the composed little package they all expected me to be in the moment.

“I’d like to see her on my own,” he stated, every head in the room turning to face him as he did so.

#elon musk #elon musk x reader #elon musk fanfiction #fanfiction #elon musk fanfic #spacex #cyberpunk #fanfic #darklydreaming #x angel #writers #slow burn #fanfic writer

15 notes · View notes

dr-nero-is-god · 4 years

Text

i felt the urge to riff on the hive streams for a little bit since discussion came up on the hive discord, namely, holding issue with the idea that the alpha stream is inconsistent in that it is about leadership when otto is the only leader, and that it’s also possible that the alphas are just kids with specialized skills, and not actually bonded by any particular unifying element.

and, in response, @vulpix-sinistre brought up a quote from the abridged hive fanfic, that goes something like: “there are four streams: main characters, stereotypical bullies, ?, and nerds.”

and i disagree with the first two ideas, but almost completely agree with the abridged fic quote. that is pretty much how the streams work, and it is IMPORTANT that that is how the streams work.

in the end, you may conclude that the streams system still doesn’t make sense. you won’t be like “well clearly dr. nero was just logically dividing the labor of his students to reflect a specialized training program” because it’s more complicated on that. i hate to do this to y’all, but a lot of everything streams-related requires an out-of-book explanation to get where you’re going, but i can promise that i will at least try to go

first, let’s think about why h.i.v.e. would have streams at all

on the one hand, it’s inescapable to consider that one primary reason that hive has streams is because harry potter had houses, and for the same reason that percy jackson had cabins, the 39 clues had branches, hunger games had sections (or counties, idk), divergent had factions, and so on and so on. the rise of fandom spaces on the internet was concurrent with a big ya/mg boom in the post-2005 world (after twilight was published), and within those fandom spaces it became important to identify with an aspect of the fantasy world as part of your personality. that became a very marketable thing for a while, and so separating children into streams would, to a publisher, seem like a pretty solid storytelling choice.

however! the alpha stream is not the same as gryffindor house. on the one hand, it seems easy to make an alpha/gryffindor and henchman/slytherin parallel, because one group is good (relatively) and one is bad (or at least antagonistic). but it doesn’t work because while slytherin has a reputation for constituents of poor moral character (which has been largely revised in fanon), being a henchman is where you go, according to the books, if you are unintelligent and burly. it’s not a really sexy stream, is what i’m trying to say. and though there are undoubtedly some readers who would look at the henchman stream and see themselves, i think the majority of readers would likely find the henchman stream a completely undesirable stream to be in.

and, given how little importance the role of streams have after the first book, i will go out on a limb and say that mark walden knows that the henchman stream is unsexy. we aren’t interested in the hopes and dreams and motivations of the henchman stream; as we learn in book two, the ideal henchman is weak-minded and easily led—so what dreams would they even have? this leads me to conclude that while mark walden might have sold h.i.v.e. on the “there are personality-based groups in the school!” idea, he had something completely else in mind when he started writing and that, I think, is actually far more interesting.

but really, why would h.i.v.e. have streams at all

a few things about mark walden: 1) he studied english lit in school, 2) he has a background as a video game producers, and 3) he likes james bond. i know the first two things because i have read his bio and i know the third thing because i have read his books in conjunction with seeing all the james bond films. so we will call 1-3 facts.

if you are wondering what a lit degree, video game production, and the james bond franchise all have in common, then let me connect those dots: all three of those things depend heavily on the study and understanding of repetitive structure in storytelling as an interpreter and creator of meaning. each one of these fields requires an understanding of how stories and words work to create meaning in order to be successful.

and, to quote mr. walden here directly (sourced from this here link):

“So, I was playing with this cat one day and it got me thinking that those old-school Bond villains always just seemed to appear out of thin air with very little back story and that got me thinking about how they became world- conquering megalomaniacs in the first place. It was only a short mental walk from there to HIVE.”

so, imagine you’re a writer trying to tell a story about a school for villains like those in james bond—you’ve studied storycraft and you have a lot of experience in a job finding believable and compelling obstacles for people to interact with in video games. you have noticed patterns. and you need to make those patterns work for you.

enter: streams

i have watched all the james bond movies (all of ‘em) (i mean it) (just not the unreleased one yet lol) and you know what?

there’s probably just about four kinds of villains in those movies.

henchmen include the likes of jaws, oddjob, and tee hee. often physically disabled in a cinematically interesting way, these guys are the muscles and the machines in every bond film. they are the ones who tail bond as he takes long train rides and who try to personally throw him into shark tanks. they are the hands and feet of their evil masters and they don’t have a lot of emotional depth or backstory.

politicians/financiers abound in the james bond franchise because he is a government employee who often hangs out with other government employees (he has no friends). these people are like colonel rosa klebb, georgi koskov, prince kamal khan. there are a lot more, as a matter of fact, because the whole point of james bond is that they are in the cold war and even people without titles have political and financial motivations for screwing around with stuff. these types of villains depend on being well and truly embedded in an existing infrastructure or hierarchy, somebody who worked their way up from being a foot soldier or clerk into a powerful leadership position that gives them a lot of state-sanctioned trust and authority.

technicians and inventors include folks like henry gupta and boris grishenko, who use technology as their primary weapon. they are often inventors or innovators and are really good at making high-tech stuff. however, i think this stream is also a direct result of the character Q, someone who is actually on James Bond’s team and who runs an entire department of people who test sometimes outlandish gadgets for Bond to use in the field. (but we love the gadgets. they are fun.) in other words, Bond arguably has a technical stream at his disposal in MI6, which means the idea isn’t necessarily evil, but, likewise, our James Bond School also needs Qs. it’s the rules. if you are familiar with Q from James Bond at all then you understand

and that leaves us with alphas... the “supervillains.” these are the famous ones. dr. no. mr. big. scaramanga. le chiffre. blofeld. max zorin. emilio largo. goldfinger. these are the ones with the master plan, the dreams to recreate the world as they see it, the passion to see their desires to fulfillment and the resources to make them happen. they are rich. they are fancy. they are larger than life. is it weird that karl stromberg tries to incite a nuclear war between Britain and the USSR so that a lot of people can die so that he can colonize the ocean? yes. but by god, it’s fancy and dramatic, and that’s what counts.

are there other kinds of villains? oh, definitely. lots more. but you have to understand, that those kinds of villains generally don’t appear in Bond. sometimes! but it’s not a staple. for example, not many people in the bond films are motivated by revenge because each movie is kind of designed to function as a one-shot. villains don’t come back and so there is no revenge. the villain who gets the most notable reprise, jaws, actually ends up finding his true love in space.

compare: every movie is going to have henchmen. every movie has government stooges making morally questionable decisions. (almost) every movie has Q, or some gadget stuff going on. and every movie has a big bad that has to be better than the last.

so that explains why the streams are what they are.

it was a jumping-off point for mark walden to figure out what this universe might look like and how different character types need to function. consider that while the core four are all alphas and are kind of insulated as a group, the teachers all kind of roughly align with one of these groups. colonel francisco, raven, and chief lewis are henchmen types, doing on-the-ground work to get stuff done. ms. tennenbaum and the contessa are political af, they are all about the corruption and infiltrating institutional power. ms. gonzales, ms. leon, and professor pike all have technical skills that help keep an organization moving forward. and over them all is the singular alpha, dr. nero, who is coordinating and monitoring it all for his own evil plan: to run a high school.

honestly, dr. nero’s hive idea operates just like a james bond villain plot! it works, or it does when pitching the idea. the problem is that the books continued after the pitch did, and with worldbuilding came some complications. namely, the fact that the megastructure of james bond villainy does not replicate well into a small friend group on which the narration focuses. so let’s return to the question presented at the beginning:

how can alphas really be alphas when not everyone on the field trip can be a mastermind?

i’m gonna give this to you in two ways. one, the way i personally interpret it as an in-universe explanation, given the background premises we have already established. and the other, why the stream system kind of ruins the structure it sets out to create.

so, for me, the alphas can be alphas because there is more to villainy than being a mastermind and there is more to being a mastermind than being in charge. as i think about it, this novelization is actually the backstory for every one of the students, who will go on to do great and scary things. they will manage big projects and come up with interesting ways to terrorize the British government, because that is what James Bond villains do (and James Bond does canonically exist in their universe). much like your actual teenage years, this is not the main event.

as students, the core four need to learn to do a little bit of everything. you gotta learn some lock-picking, that’s essential. everyone has to be able to climb a rock wall. it’s the rules. and everyone needs to be able to do some programming. that’s just the way school is. though everyone has a different personality and a different way of looking at the world, their education has to cover the basics because the fact of the matter is, none of them are villains yet. will they become one? that remains to be seen. but they are being given the tools to become the greatest villains if that is something they choose.

the main problem that remains when holding this attitude is that the specialized skills of otto and his friends might be better suited to other streams, in which case, what is an alpha anyways?

here’s the facts: if everyone were assigned to a stream by talent, then there wouldn’t be an alpha stream.

franz? political/financial stream.

nigel? laura? otto? technical stream.

shelby? wing? henchman stream.

you can debate me on the specifics of those assignments, but the point is this: all the other streams are based on hard skills. franz can manage a ledger and that is a financial skill. laura can build a computer from scratch and that is a technical skill. wing can do martial arts, and each martial art is a physical skill that can be taught and performed in a measurable level of proficiency.

the idea of being a “mastermind” is a much softer skill—which is to say, there’s no one recipe that will make it work. my manager at work has coached me by saying that leadership is often about having a “style,” and working at it that way. leadership requires interpersonal flexibility, being able to stay organized and to make important decisions rapidly, it is about being able to prioritize and delegate. and it’s very much open to interpretation, every day, all the time.

let me tell you something else about james bond: there is a lot of classism, racism, and sexism embedded into every aspect of those films, but that goes for double when it comes to the villains in the show. to vastly oversimplify that very concept, it shows up in the bond films like this: henchmen are working class folks, the villainous equivalent of “the help,” and the supervillains are (usually) rich and glamorous and powerful. henchmen are uneducated (read as: stupid) and ugly and poor. no one cares if they die. (there’s more complexities, as always, but this essay isn’t actually about james bond so we’ll fast forward through My Opinions to the end)

the problem with replicating james bond in your villain school universe is that some of the biases of the james bond universe get replicated in there, too. poor and uneducated folks get turned into disposable henchmen whose lives are irrelevant. people who are educated and talented get fast-tracked to a more glamorous and interesting stream that will catapult them to the top of the ladder as soon as they graduate. if you look at the dialect with which block and tackle are written, they are clearly meant to be seen as a different social class than otto, despite the fact that otto is coming from basically nothing. and we understand that when otto graduates, he will be able to do basically anything that he wants to at all.

so, if you’re asking why wing has a role in the alpha stream when he doesn’t seem as leader-y as otto, there’s a simple answer: because dr. nero believes that wing can be more.

the climax of book one is dr. nero explicitly telling otto, wing, laura, and shelby that they are in his school because he believes in them and he wants to see them grow. they are given an elite status other students do not have despite the fact that they have just literally tried to escape. as we see in the case of duncan cavendish, the main way to get on that highway to a guaranteed career is to convince him that you’ve “got it.” for those who are not believed in, there is no way to make up for the special grooming. you’re stuck with the stream you’re placed in, doomed (perhaps) to be a second-in-command at best.

is all this intentional? probably not. but it is implicit in the structure of the story and, alas, that’s the way it is.

all i can think to say in conclusion is that while the stream system tends to replicate some of the unfair and classist realities present in other media and the world we live in, i think part of the reason we read h.i.v.e. is because the alpha stream is so appealing. imagine! you are competent and you have a desirable, specialized skill as well as a proficiency in many general skills and you are certain you are going to do good things—and all because someone believes in you. to receive someone else’s support and confidence can be life-changing. the magic of h.i.v.e. is that yes—lives are changed and ordinary, boring people were elevated to the level of supervillains. we are only left to wonder, are they the only people who deserved that honor?

#meta #spoilers #streams #alpha #henchman #political/financial #technical stream #technical #james bond #hive #h.i.v.e.#higher institute of villainous education #the higher institute of villainous education #otto malpense #max nero #streams post #musings

24 notes · View notes

theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: Our lovers spend one last night together and the next morning have a serious discussion about their future after more new information comes to light about Sy’s upcoming training. Can the new relationship sustain the stress? Are Shane’s feelings justified, or can they overcome what lies before them?

Spoilers suck! Start from the top or wherever you left off HERE!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language, mature themes, smut, angst…well, near angst. As angsty as I get.

Author’s Note: Sorry this has taken so long, my darling dears! I’m currently on vacation and although I was hoping to be inspired by new surroundings, it’s given me WICKED writer’s block! I have a pretty solid plan for more chapters, though, so, buckle up!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland (apparently deactivated, idk what’s up with that)

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

@heartfelt-pen

@auds24

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy's last two PT appointments could not have gone better. On paper, anyway. He was at full strength in his injured knee, his range of motion was better than it was in the so-called good knee, and he hadn't complained of pain above a 2/10 in the last five sessions. He'd even been using the treadmill properly the last two weeks, working up to his own goal of running again. Her goals for him were met…they could have probably stopped a session short, but she'd wanted to give him a few more handouts to finalize his HEP…and well, she'd be in major trouble for saying so, but…she couldn't stand the thought of cancelling that last visit. It felt like quitting, even though it would have been justified.

In practice, however, there was a tension between them that had never existed before. Something creating awkward energy that they couldn't seem to shake. They hadn't seen each other much outside of therapy this week, either. Not since the night of their argument. Sy had to do a lot of prep for his trip to Virginia, and Shane's caseload this week had been ridiculous. Dozens of evaluations and updates and calls to various companies on different kinds of splints and orthotics she was hoping to get for a few of her patients. A lot of time spent on the phone meant a lot of after-hours documentation. She needed a break. Even if it meant she'd have to do some work over the weekend. Sy was leaving tomorrow to get settled in Charlottesville before the big training course began. She didn't want them to be apart on his last night home for a month.

"Hey, as a celebration of your discharge from PT and your new career trajectory, how about dinner on me tonight?"

"But…you don't really want me to leave town…or to be done with therapy. Not that I, myself, won't miss you feeling me up in public." he smirked as she took his last set of range of motion measurements, her hands gently holding one arm of her goniometer to the side of his thigh…suddenly too aware of him.

"Not entirely true. I'm glad you're better, I'll just miss seeing you through the day. It breaks up the…" she sighed "the monotony of my daily life. Also, why would I want you to leave town? What would that say about me as your girlfriend?" she explained.

"S'pose you're right."

"In this case, yes. Yes I am." She winked at him.

They finished up and she gave him a few more exercises to keep in his arsenal to maintain strength and range in both knees.

"Okay, now, I won't be around to harass you about these, but keep doing them regularly, and just modify them as I've notated if they get too easy. Try to just do more reps, though. I wouldn't try to bulk it up just yet, and that's what you'll do with more weight added."

"Yes, ma'am." he said for old time's sake. She shook her head and smirked.

"And listen, please. This is your physical therapist talking right now. Be careful and mindful during … your cross country training." she wanted to call it "Survivor-Virginia," but refrained. She knew it would get his hackles up. And she was taking enough of a chance insisting that he be careful. "Nature has perils for the perfectly fit. The already injured are at a disadvantage from the gate. Mind your footing. And try not to run unless you have to. Uneven surfaces are not your friend just yet. You still need to work up to that. If you want, I'll help you with it when you get back. Just…don't undo all this work we've done together."

He seemed to see his woman peeking out from behind the mask of his therapist. Concern coloring the neutral and clinical advice she was giving him.

"I'll do my best, sunshine." he held her by the arms and kissed her forehead. It felt too intimate for the setting, but they had done worse. "I'll see ya tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some food by your place after work. What do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll let you know." he kissed her cheek and left.

The next hour was her lunch, so she had time to contemplate what seeing him walk out for the last time had made her feel. She sighed, and started to well up, getting out her lunch bag to begin eating and documenting when a knock came at the door frame.

It was Sy, looking forlorn and manic and altogether a mess. Very unlike himself.

"I got out to the truck and something just felt wrong about the way I left today. As if it was any other day. Not our last session. You were trying to get that to land…I'm a little slow. But I finally got it." he walked to her, grabbing her up from her chair in a hug that mended all of the broken parts of her. Squeezed her back together when she'd been damn near falling apart. "Shane, you…you did more than just make me better. You've…made me better. Happier. Whole. I'll never be able to thank you properly for all of this, but…I intend to try for as long as you'll let me."

He held her while her tears fell softly onto his Def Leppard shirt. This was what she needed. For him to simply hold her, complete her, love her.

"Also, I think I'd like Chinese food tonight." she laughed into his neck.

"You idiot."

"You still like me."

"I do. And you don't need to worry about thanking me, Sy. You return the favor daily by just…being you…and being mine." She pulled him in to a ferociously sexy kiss, her hands in his hair, still too short for her liking, but getting there.

He broke away, neither wanting it to end, but both knowing it must, all the same.

"I thought we couldn't do this at your work?" he inquired, slightly out of breath.

"We couldn't do this while you were a patient. You're officially discharged. Last appointment over. All I have to do is sign your note and it's a done deal. But now…if you wanted to drop by for lunch sometime when you get back from training for your fancy job…we could…make it a regular occurrence." she smiled up into his entrancing blue eyes, sparkling with promise.

"I like the sound of that, sunshine." he gave her one more chaste kiss before his official goodbye. "See ya tonight."

As she watched him leave, she remembered thinking to herself one day how he probably used to take very confident strides…that hardly did his walk justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She ordered their favorites, four entrees total, so they had options, crab rangoon, egg rolls, dumplings, the works. She would be happy to eat off the leftovers all weekend. She wasn't fussy. She loved leftover Chinese takeout.

He met her at the door, having advance warning of her arrival from the canine burglar alarm, Aika.

"You got her. Good girl." he said sweetly thanking the pup for sounding off the Twilight Bark throughout the neighborhood.

"Hello!" She handed off the food to Sy and scratched at the German Shepherd's ears the way she liked, her tail wagging with joyous speed.

"I thought we could set up a buffet on the coffee table downstairs while we watch TV?"

"Sounds great!" She said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. She wasn't able to fully shake this foreboding she felt saying goodbye to him, no matter how long they'd be apart.

Sy grabbed plates and silverware while Shane got them some beverages, and they headed downstairs, Aika knowing her boundaries did not extend to the basement except by invitation, whined at their descent. Sy wasn't having it.

"Oh, don't give us that sob story, ya brat." he rolled his eyes at Shane.

"Aww, can't she come down with us?"

"No way. I want you all to myself." a devilish smirk twitched up the corners of his mouth making him even more handsome.

"Aika has nothin' on you. You're the real dog." she teased.

"I make no excuses or arguments. I'm gonna be selfish with you tonight." they put the food and supplies on the coffee table and he caught her up into his arms. He seemed to want to inhale her into his lungs.

"Mmmm, as endearing as I've always found generosity, I really like the sound of that." She let out a huff of amusement.

They spent an uncharacteristically short amount of time choosing something to watch. They'd already started a miniseries together, and they wanted to finish it before Sy left. It was a British political thriller with a lot of intrigue and quite a bit of sex. They only had two hours left, so they finished it quickly as they ate.

They decided to put on something familiar afterward. Die Hard. Which they both quoted with ridiculous precision. They were cuddled into each other on the big sectional, lulled into comfort by the familiar security of the dialogue and the warmth of the other.

Soon, Sy's hand found its way to Shane's thigh. It inched its way inside and up. She felt like he could hear her heart rate quicken, just as she knew he could hear her breaths come with more effort due to his touch.

She looked at him, and despite her apprehension about his decision to leave her so early in their relationship, she wanted him. She'd known for so long now. It felt like forever, for longer than they'd even known one another. A ridiculous notion. But with that same gaze, she begged him to continue. The signal was not lost on the captain. His mouth punished hers in a kiss so deliciously violent and needy she thought there was no way he couldn't feel the same for her. She pushed to the back of her busy mind all of the negative emotions the kiss brought up, the confusion as to how and why he was going to leave her when he clearly needed her just as badly as she needed him, and just let this beautiful moment become what it would.

As hard as that was to do.

The way he touched her was a pretty effective distraction. One hand held her firmly against his mouth by the nape while the other built friction in her over her jeans. She felt her body's primal responses of the building pressure and her hands gripping at his shirt. His guttural moan at her answering touch only fueled the inferno in her. She needed more of him. She thrust up into his hand wantonly. He took himself away from her, cruelly, but to be so very kind, she would soon see. He undid her jeans and tugged them down, along with her panties. In the process, he repositioned her conveniently at the edge of the sofa. He scooted the coffee table out of the way enough to kneel before her. He tortured her with kisses from her knee up her inner thigh on both sides before continuing those kisses where she really needed them.

His warm breath hit her first and she arched, aching in anticipation for the corporeal. He looked up at her with his dervish's grin, seeing the desire on her face and feeling it course through her body, and although he was a better man than her previous lovers, and a better man than most, no man was so good that making his woman feel like this didn't make him feel like a god.

"Darlin', you're so gorgeous like this." he said as he teased her with his mouth. Her words failed. She had only unintelligible syllables for him. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed thoroughly amused by her speechlessness. Amused and encouraged. She'd never felt like this before. His lips and tongue worked over her trembling flesh, both as familiar paths and brand new territory. Discovering the new and remembering the familiar, all at once.

"Sy." she whispered, so close to her peak, and needing him to continue, but unable to do more than moan his name.

"I know, sugar. I know it won't be long. Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

And she fell apart under his expert touch. He soothed her body down from the climax and asked her if she was ready for bed.

"I think not!" she replied. "The movie isn't over." and she pulled him up to her by the cheeks into another crushing kiss and guided him to the couch. She kicked her bottoms off her ankles to avoid tripping and repositioned herself between his legs as he'd done with her.

"You don't have to, sunshine." he caressed her jaw.

"I know, babe. I want to. Let me do this for you." He was always eager to taste her but she'd yet to return the favor at his own request. She was done letting him decline. She didn't want him leaving without giving him this small parting gift.

It wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with how big he was. She'd touched him, and had him inside her…but seeing him this close was different. She fully appreciated what a feat it was to take him.

She started in with her own tricks, which made him moan, just as planned. His hands laced gently and lovingly in her hair as she worked her mouth and hands over him. She looked up at him after a few moments to gauge his reaction and couldn't have been more pleased. His expression was one of pure, tortured bliss. She felt so powerful.

"Angel, I'm not gonna last much longer." she took that as her cue to get on top of him.

She joined their bodies with a groan of ecstasy that he echoed. She gripped his shoulders as she moved against him, slow and measured at first, but becoming more frantic and erratic as she chased her climax. One hand remaining on her hip, the other came to her chin and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes, blazing with desire, met his, full of tears. She fell against his lips, as she climbed higher, needing that final push to send her over. Which it did, tumbling into that familiar bliss, that she'd have to savor for…well, too long. She didn't want to think too hard about that. This would be their last night together for several weeks. And she wanted to make the most of it. She looked at him, nodded, and after a few more thrusts, he came to his own pinnacle with a shudder beneath her, clutching at her back, resting his head on her sternum. She held him there, and took a few cleansing breaths with her own cheek pressed against his lengthening hair. She stroked the ones at the back of his neck for a moment as they came down from their impossible high.

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" she asked as the cheery, festive, and entirely out-of-season notes of "Let It Snow" played on the TV with the rolling credits of Die Hard. He grinned.

"Yeah, if I still have bones in my legs." he kissed her neck, just above the collar of her tee. "And I'll come down later and clear all this up. We'll just have to close the door so Aika doesn't come down and have herself a party. She's a good dog, but I'm not about to tempt her."

Shane carefully slid off of Sy's lap, attempting not to make too much of a mess, grabbed her panties and slipped them on for the walk to Sy's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The musical chiming of Sy's phone alarm came too damned early. They'd barely slept, not wanting to waste a moment together. When they finally nodded off after their last round of fervent love-making, they wrapped themselves around one another and were both out like lights in no time. Now he was untangling himself from her to turn the noise off and presumably begin the process of getting ready to leave for the airport. He only snoozed it, though, and pulled her more tightly against his bare, hairy chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, bleary from lack of sleep and extreme fatigue. Not that she was complaining.

"Seven. But my flight doesn't leave until 10, and it's just from the base. There's a flight leaving there for Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport and I'm hitchin' a ride with them."

"Oh good. I had anticipated we'd have to drive to Springfield, or even St. Louis this morning." She would do it for Sy, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to a six hour minimum round trip, half of which she would have to make alone.

"Nah, and I'm hoping to work something out for the return trip, too, but I'll let you know about that, then. I've made those open ended, though, because I don't know about the return date."

"Sure. God, that's so…crazy. Not in a bad way, just, I can't imagine leaving home without a clear plan on when I'd be back. Of course, knowing it won't be more than a month helps, I guess."

"Yeah."

"And really, a part of me has dreamed of living a sort of nomadic existence since I was very young, so I definitely see the romance in it."

"Totally agree. Hey, I'm hungry. How about we get ready and I'll buy ya breakfast?" He seemed evasive, but she was hungry, too, so she let it go.

"Sounds great!"

They got up and showered together, keeping the sexy time to a minimum given the current time constraints they'd now placed upon themselves. If they didn't hurry, they'd never get out of Cracker Barrell in time to get him to the base.

He loaded his bag in her cargo space and they headed off to the restaurant, which was hopping with traffic on a Saturday morning, as was expected. But since there were only two of them, they got a table without waiting.

They ordered coffees, and Cokes, not super healthy, but hey, this wasn't a daily occurrence. It was a splurge.

Sy ordered some massive and meaty breakfast spread that sounded like a heart attack waiting to happen, while Shane kept it simple with biscuits and gravy and a side of fruit…also, she stole a strip of Sy's bacon. Again…she was a weak woman.

The conversation was light and friendly and lovey…until the time came to leave. Sy picked up the check and took it to the counter to pay and then led her out the double doors back to her vehicle.

"You'll be able to FaceTime me on evenings you haven't gone walkabout in the wilderness, right?"

"I'm not sure they call it that outside of Australia, or even the Crocodile Dundee movies, but yeah, we'll plan on that, for sure."

"Good. I'll miss you so much. But at least I have a pretty good idea of when you'll be back." she was spouting excitedly, but he was being rather cagey again. He piped up with three words that never start off a good sentence.

"Yeah, about that…" she looked at him as they closed the doors to her Explorer, waiting for him to continue…hoping for good news, but expecting bad.

"I got an email last night…late…that I…that the training…might take longer than they told me at first." he winced for the impact of her reception of the anticipated bad news.

"Longer…uh-huh. How much longer?" she asked, backing out of her parking space.

"Ya know if you back into these spaces you don't have to worry about--"

"Really? This is the moment you want to man-splain the concepts of parking to me, Sy? I'll save you the trouble. My dad couldn't get me to do it, and I don't see you having any success, either. Now, how much longer?"

"I don't…they didn't give a concrete--"

"Give me your best guess based on what you know. Give me a range. A ballpark, if you will."

"Uhh…two or three more…weeks…than planned." he winced as she drove toward Fort Leonard Wood Army Base from the peaceful breakfast joint. It was rather poetic, really, since the conversation had turned from relaxed to militant. And they were driving from civilian territory into a land of combatants. Not a war zone, but a zone of warriors, perhaps. And she was ready for battle, herself.

"Sy. That's more than six weeks."

"I know." he said, his eyes downcast in some combination of shame, fear, and sadness.

"And you're…fine with it?" she prodded, prompting him to consider her.

"Of course I don't like it. I'm gonna hate being away from my sunshine for even a week. But this is…it's about who I am. Who I'm meant to be from now on. I have to find my way from here, Shane."

"I guess my only question is…where do I fit into this…path. This life you're making for yourself? We're brand new. But we've worked really hard already to get where we are. And I've worked really hard to get to where I am, professionally. In my dream job. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but the work makes me think, and gives me purpose. What am I suppose to do? Either I give that up, or I give up…the only man I've ever been with who's made me actually happy."

"I don't want that. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to give anything up for me, darlin.' That'll just lead to you resentin' me down the road, and I don't want that, neither." He stopped a moment and just looked at her, face holding back frustrated and angry tears…but also very sad ones. "What about this? Let's just, talk about all this moving forward stuff when I'm back from training. At that point, I'll know more about what to expect about jobs and assignments. And…if it would make you feel more comfortable…we can call ourselves…unexclusive. That way, if you meet someone while I'm gone--"

"Have you lost your mind?" She interrupted his ridiculous attempt to be selfless. She was secure enough in his feelings for her that he wasn't making the suggestion for himself.

"I'm serious. If you meet someone, and he sweeps you off your feet, don't resist. I want you to be happy, Shane."

"Then come back and teach gym at the local high school. Better yet, don't go, at all."

"You remember all that stuff you said about having your dream job and a purpose?" Shane nodded. "You want me to find all that too, don'tcha?"

"No. I'm a selfish bitch who wants you here with me no matter the cost. And I don't care if you resent me in the long run. At least I'll have you." she laughed at her sarcasm and only slightly true self-deprecation.

"You'll be fine. You managed so far without me." he reminded her as she pulled up to the gate, guarded by about four men, who's rank she couldn't tell, but one of whom Sy called a sergeant.

"I'll get out here and they'll take me to the hangar in a cart. No civilian vehicles allowed today. Apparently they're doing maneuvers." he shrugged and got out to grab his bag.

"I put the rest of the takeout in here too. It's in one of my nice coolers on ice."

"Thanks." she told her shoes as they stood under the shade of her rear access hatch. She couldn't look at him right now. He made her, though.

"This ain't quite like the airport, but I still don't have a lot of time, sunshine." he kissed her hard, and it really felt like a goodbye, which almost hurt more than his leaving. Almost. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and she knew she'd feel that embrace all evening. She hoped it would last for weeks.

"I love you, Sy." she sobbed to him. Trying like hell to keep it together.

"I love you, darlin.' Now don't you forget that when some other handsome fella gives you the eye. Make sure he's worth it, if you're gonna write me a dear john letter." he winked at her. She laughed and nodded, but didn't feel it was that funny, and didn't intend to adhere to his parameters of their relationship. He ducked under the arm that was preventing her from driving through. Although, legs as long as his, he almost could have stepped over it. She watched him walk away for as long as she could before she was given the signal that she must leave and let other traffic through…although, she resented this. There were two lanes, after all. Couldn't these men see what a mess she was? She'd just had to say goodbye to the love of her life…and she didn't know when…or indeed, if…she'd see him again. She had hope…but that didn't stop her from crying all the way home and the rest of the afternoon as the ghost of Sy's parting hug faded from her skin.

Up Next: Chapter 13: SNAFU

#netflix sand castle #Sand Castle #captain syverson #Captain Syverson x OFC #syverson smut #captain syverson fanfic #sigh for sy #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x ofc #Smut

72 notes · View notes

ginnyweasleywannabe · 3 years

Text

Treasure Hunt

Please enjoy the first chapter of my new fic "Treasure Hunt"

I will reblog with some authors notes. You can also read on AO3 under the username "inthemiddle2" (If I link it doesn't show up on tags, sorry) Final Word count:4499!!!!

Start:

“And you came to me for help because……?”

“Because you’re a greedy asshole.”

Two weeks prior….

“Marc, I don’t understand why I can’t just come with you!”

“Because Marlene, you’re about to finish up Uni, there’s still a lot of stuff for you to wrap up here… and you have the ceremony in two weeks”

Marlene let out a huff throwing her arms to the side, “Why do I even have to walk in that stupid ceremony, I’ve already done it once before. Besides what’s the point if you’re not going to be there, you’re the only one who cares about it.”

Marc stopped his packing with a quick roll of the eyes before turning around to face her, “Marley, I’ll be back in time for the ceremony, which is a big deal because you’re becoming a master!” He tried to get her excited, throwing his hands up and punctuating every following word, “Marlene McKinnon, Masters of Cryptology and Ancient History’, becoming an curse- breaker, like your ol’ bro.”

Marlene had to fight the sides of her mouth from twitching upward, “You’re the only one who calls themselves a ‘curse-breaker.”

Marc zipped up his duffle, “Marley, I’ll be back for the ceremony and then you’ll be done and you can join me on my next adventure.” He walked to the front door and gave her once last glance “I promise, finish up with your studies and then you can come with me.” He tried to give her a look of hope and understanding.

Marlene muttered a quick “fine” under her breathe and then lunged into his arms. She wouldn’t tell him but she was really going to miss him these up coming weeks. Curse-Breaking, as her brother liked to call it, was a bit of family tradition. Both her parents were in the field, which meant they were constantly traveling during her childhood. Gone for long periods of time of trying to chase down one ‘treasure’ or another. Marc was 12 years older than her which meant as soon as she was born her parents felt he was old enough to care for her while they were away.

“Stay out of trouble okay, kiddo?”

Marlene rolled her eyes, “I’m 23 years old you know, I can handle myself for two weeks.” She gave him a light shove out the door. She quickly checked her watch and saw she was running late to meet James. James was Marlene’s best friend, when Marlene was 11 Marc was getting to the age where he was having to travel more for work so Marlene was enrolled in a boarding school. Her mom’s best friend, Mia, had a son Marlene’s age who had been going to a boarding school since he was eight so off Marley was shipped away to Scotland. It was like no time had passed for her and James, they were instantly inseparable again. They spent the next seven years getting into all kinds of trouble but when it came time for Uni James went back home to London, to Hogwarts and Marlene went to a school in Glasgow. She had finished up her history and exploration degree there but had returned to London to attend Hogwarts for her yearlong master’s program. She was glad she had Marc and James to return home to, she need people to hang out with in the city and so began their tradition of getting a pint every Friday.

Marlene scanned the pub for James, she quickly found him because of the unmistakable red head with him. James had met Lily at Uni orientation and had been pining over her ever since, they had finally gotten together the winter holiday before Marlene had come back. You wouldn’t know it had only been a year in half though, they were perfect for each other. Marlene happened to know that James was hoping to pop the question this coming Christmas, Marlene however didn’t think he’d be able to wait the 7 months. She felt a sudden rush of nerves as she approached the group, doing a quick scan to see if he had shown up. She hadn’t expected him to, he never did if she was going to be there but still any time it was more than just her and James, she wondered if he would finally buck up the courage.

“Marley!!” Well, James had definitely spotted her, and had already had a couple pints it seemed. He was out of his seat and arms around her lighting fast. James was a professional football player for Chelsea.

Marlene let out a giggle, only Marc and James called her Marley, “Hiya Jamie! Had a few, have ya?”

James just gave her that dazzling lopsided grin, “Yeah well you’re late,” Marlene was always late places, “Marc left today, yeah?”

“Yeah”

James could tell she was a little down about the whole thing, even after all this time, she always was when he left.

“We’ll lets grab you one and you can tell me all about what treasure he’s chasing this time.” Marlene said a quick hello to the rest of the group; Lily, Remus, Mary, and Peter. She hadn’t know them before moving back to the city, they were all James’ friends from uni but they quickly accepted her into the group. With the promise of bring back some for everyone she and James made their way to the bar.

“Another round please Tom, and an extra for Marley here,” With a nod from Tom, James turned to Marlene, “So? What’s the gold this time? And how long will he be gone?” James and Marlene used to love hearing the stories her parents and Marc would tell them when they were little, usually a little embellished with Pirates, witches and wizards. James had idolized Marc growing up, he believed everything that came out of his mouth as fact.

Marlene turned to James with a big grin and said “Oh Jamie, you’re going to love this one! Its real, like really real! The Hogwarts treasure, Marcs figured it out- well mostly, but he sure of it. The sword, diadem, cup and even the locket! And with it gold, lots of it!” Marlene had rushed it all out almost in one big breathe. She was staring at him wide grin and big eyes waiting for him to react.

James just stared at her, “Marley, what are you talking about? That’s an old ghost story, and even if it was true its rumored that some Riddle guy stole it all like a couple hundred years ago. No one alive, heck most people dead, haven’t seen that treasure.” He gave a little laugh, “There’s no way it’s real or could even be found.”

“Come on James, its Marc, you know how he is, he doesn’t actually leave the office himself unless he’s sure!” Marlene pleaded with him. Marc had mostly done code translating desk work. Marc claims that’s just what he’s best at and gets more done if he hops from translation to translation rather than solving one and chasing down a lead for weeks that might go nowhere, Marlene knows it’s because of her though, he always needed to be close by to care for her.

James glanced at her hopeful eyes, he had always been bad with telling her no, taking a drink from one of the pints Tom had brought, “Alright let’s say it’s not some old witch tale, what’s he got that makes him so sure?” He said it with just a hint of a smile that let Marlene know he hadn’t truly grown out of their pirates and treasure hunting days.

Marlene was giddy, “Last week they were cleaning out old archives down in the ‘dungeon’ and I guess no one’s really cleared it out in a while but you know how it used to be an old dorm? Well between boxes and things, there was still stuff past students had left behind. So they sent all that stuff to the archives office to see if any could be displayed for ‘Hogwarts History’, kind of an invasion of past students privacy and property if you ask me-“

“Marley, focus.”

“Right, sorry, anyway I guess Marc was sorting through the stuff and he came about an old diary, like really old. And it belonged to….” She took a dramatic pause, really wanting to build it up for James “Tom. Riddle.” She waited for his reaction eyebrows raised in anticipation.

James loved seeing her getting excited about this kind of thing, she had had a rough spring semester, “You’re serious?” She gave a quick glare but for another reason, he was quick to apologize, “Sorry, but I mean Tom Riddle, you mean the guy who supposedly stole all of the treasure. I didn’t even think he was a real person..”

“Well, believe it Jamie. He’s real and his diary gave some clues as to where he hid all the treasure!” She squealed, James wasn’t sure when it happened but he had just realized she had already drained her pint, and Marley was a light weight. After finishing her excited squeal she went to start on another pint, taking big sips.

“Oi! What’s taking so long, some of us are trying to get a nice buzz before the long weekend!”

Remus was shuffling through the crowd, he always worked the graveyard shift at the library on full moons for extra cash because it was said to be haunted and nobody wanted to work it. The full moon was tomorrow night.

Marlene turned, after downing half her second pint, “Lupe!!” Throwing her arms around him.

“Hello again, Marlene, what’s taking you two so long?” he was ever so slightly holding her up, she seem just a tad off balance.

“Just talking ghosts and long lost treasure.” She stated matter of fact. At this Remus quirked an eyebrow over her shoulder to James who just gave a smile and a shrug. Grabbing the pints they could, not letting her carry any, they made their way back over to the group.

“Oh finally, you’re back, Pete passionately telling us about how they switched the detergent for the towels at Stamford” Mary said with a roll of her eyes, James had gotten Peter a job at the stadium.

The group let out a collective laugh while Peter had a blush creeping up his face, “Well I just worry the change in scent with mess with guys head, that’s all. Don’t you agree James?”

James turned at the sound of his name, previously whispering something Lily’s ear. He gave a quick shrug, “Yeah, sure I guess, really its whatever Petey”

The night continued on in much of the same fashion, by the time it was winding down James had just returned from walking Lily out, her and Mary sharing a flat just a block away. He could tell from across the bar he was going to need to walk Marley home, he would walk her anyway but she was talking wildly with her hands and leaning very close to poor Peter, who looked a little afraid of her.

“-And then I want to use it to go to Peru for a few month you know, live off the grid, no electricity, even no pluming!” She looked so excited for the prospect of having to go into a hole in the ground but Peter just stared right back at her.

“Alright Marley, let me walk you home” James said with a sigh

“Oh Jamie really, I’m fine,” She stood from her chair and rocked nearly tripping and falling flat on her face but his quick reflexes caught her.

“Oh I know but Marc would kill me if he knew a let you walk home alone besides, I basically pass it on the way to my place” Marlene knew she needed the help but she was glad he just blamed it on the Marc thing. Bidding Peter a goodbye, she wrapped an arm around James and they strolled home.

As they walked the few block home, they talked about this and that and had somehow landed on the stars. As Marlene looked up she let out a deep sigh, “I’m sorry if I ruined things. But I tried to be civil.”

James still had an arm wrapped around her shoulder and he just pulled her closer, with a quick kiss to the top of her head, he began to reassure her, “Marley, you didn’t ruin anything. He’s been a real asshole lately. And a coward, I love the guy but I’m proud of you for what you said.”

He was one Sirius Black. James’ best friend from Uni, they had been random roommates freshman year and continued to live together until the graduated, then James moved in with Remus and Sirius got his own place. Marley had met him briefly over the years when she would come home for the holidays but really didn’t know him. When she moved back a year ago and James brought her into their group she got to know him better. He was funny, and careless but she liked that about him. Marlene, working on her masters, was often stressed and uptight so it was nice that he was carefree. Nothing had ever happened between them besides a little flirting until after the past winter hols.

Marlene would go out with James early on Fridays but would often skip the later, wilder group hangs because of school. One night James had gotten her to stay out and well one thing led to another and pretty quickly her and Sirius were seeing each other. Marlene didn’t want to think too much about it with trying to finish school so she figured it would just be this fun thing to help ease stress until she finished uni but honestly things started to move fast and not because of her. Sirius was pursuing her, constantly talking about how much he liked her, talking about all the fun things they would do during summer once she finished school, he was the one who brought up being exclusive. Marlene had started to let her guard down, and then one day out of the blue, he calls her up and tells her ‘he doesn’t have time for a serious relationship right now but he hopes they can still be friends because of the group.’ Right. He wouldn’t want things to be weird for the group, he’s worried about their feelings.

Marlene was hurt by the conversation but she wasn’t going to let carefree playboy know that, she quickly told him it was no big deal they had only been going out for like a month and a half. He wouldn’t need to worry about things being weird on her end. It was a 3 minute conversation and that was it.

Honestly Marlene was more mad than sad about the situation. She decided to call him the next day, all she wanted was a simple apology for being tossed aside like nothing. So She called explained how she felt she deserved at least an apology when he was the one pursuing the relationship, he didn’t apologize. He just said “sorry for the mixed signals”. Sorry for the mixed signals? It wasn’t mixed, it was one signal and then dramatically the opposite signal. Marlene was so infuriated that that was all he had to say but she also didn’t want to cause drama in a friend group that she joined late. When he clearly wasn’t going to give her more, she said that now that was out in the open and she (kind of) said what she needed to say they could be cool, there wouldn’t be any weirdness and hung up. That whole conversation lasted 5 minutes and Marlene is pretty sure she rambled for the first 3. They hadn’t spoken since, he hadn’t gone out with group once when Marlene was there.

“Mar? Earth to Marley?” James had pulled her from her thoughts, she hadn’t even realized they had made it back to her doorstep.

“Huh, sorry I just got zoned, you were right I might have had one too many” She said with a small smile, hoping he would believe that was all it really was.

“Alright beautiful, I was just asking are you sure you don’t want me to stay the night?” James said it with a teasing smile, when Marlene was younger she was terrified of staying home alone so anytime Marc had to travel she would go stay at James’ house (she did this well into her 20’s).

Marlene rolled her eyes and gave him a shove, “Yes, you dolt. I haven’t been scared of staying home alone in like two years.”

With a ruffle of her hair and a quick hug, she was up the stairs in bed.

The next week passed by rather unceremoniously, she finished up her final studies and worked on the last of her paper. She was going to skip Friday night drinks this week because she wanted to focus on getting her paper done, besides James and Marc were planning quite the pub crawl for the Saturday following her graduation ceremony.

She hadn’t heard much from Marc, which wasn’t unusual on his trips. He had sent her a quick text letting her know that he made it to his first stop last Friday night and this morning she received a letter. Marc loved to write letters and Marlene loved to tease him about it, telling him it made him old. The letter didn’t say much, just that he thought he was on to something and the diary seemed to be leading him in the right direction. He was looking forward to her ceremony and he had talked to mom and dad, they wouldn’t be able to make it, shocker. With that small but expected disappointment she refocused on her work.

Before she knew it, it was Saturday morning. She ran down the stairs, on special occasions Marc would always bake her blueberry pancakes but when she rounded the hall into the kitchen it was empty. That’s odd. She had assumed Marc had gotten in after she went to bed.

“Marc?” She gave a quick shout but no response. Maybe he was still asleep, he did just have a two week trip so she padded up the stairs to his room but no it was also completely untouched.

Marlene had a frown on her face and pulled out her phone. It rang like it was on and charged but still went to voicemail.

“This is Marc, sorry I missed your call, I honestly don’t know how to work this thing but leave a message and Marley will show me how to listen and call back”

“Hey Marc, its Marley and its Saturday. I just wanted to touch base before the ceremony but I’m just going to assume you’ll meet me there. Remember 10 o’clock sharp. You still owe me pancakes, see you soon.” She ended the voicemail and checked the time, if she got ready now she would have time to stop at the diner on the way in and grab a muffin.

Marlene peaked around the curtain hoping to spot Marc. She was bundle of nerves, she hated this kind of thing. The only reason she was walking in this dumb ceremony was for him. As she scanned the crowd she was beginning to think that no one had shown. I mean sure, she hadn’t invited anyone because again, dumb ceremony but still felt a twinge of disappointment that she was alone.

“Samantha Mathis”

Oh shit, she was next.

“Marlene McKinnon”

Straightening her shoulders she walked out on stage. As soon as she stepped out from behind the curtain there was a loud cheer from the back left corner. She took the diploma shook hands and turned out to the crowd for her picture. Rather than looking at the camera man she zoned in on the cheering group in the back. There was James, jumping up being the loudest as usual, and the rest of their group. She smiled for the first time that day and continued of the stage. The rest of the ceremony seemed to pass quick.

Marlene was bidding Samantha goodbye when arms scooped her up from behind and twirled.

“James stop, you’re going to make her sick” Lily admonished lovingly

“Yeah besides you have to share her with the rest of us!” Mary said before lunging for hug. The whole group had come, minus two of the usual boys. Marlene hadn’t expected him to show but maybe a congratulations text at least would have been nice. James had also mentioned that Peter had some family thing come up but he said ‘congratulations’.

Marlene just laughed and said her thank you to the group. She was looking around with a frown on her face.

With a huff she turned to James, “Have you seen Marc?”

James gave her a confused look, Marc would never miss this, “No? you haven’t seen him today?”

“No, you think I should be worried?” She was biting her lip into bits.

“I’m sure he just got held up and forgot to charge his phone. You know how he is” James was doing his best to reassure her, “Look we made a reservation for lunch and maybe he’s just planning on meeting us there. If we don’t hear from him after lunch, then we’ll worry ok?”

Marlene still felt hurt that he would miss this after he made it a big deal but she gave a shrug and headed to lunch anyway. Everyone tried their best to help get Marlene’s mind on other things and she did her best to let them. About halfway through lunch she felt a buzz, she quick grabbed her phone from her bag. It was a text from Marc!

“Hey Marly, got held up. Gonna b longer than I thought. Not sure when I’ll b home. See u soon XX”

Marlene read the text again, he didn’t even mention the ceremony. Sure she hadn’t wanted them to make a big deal about it but still she worked really hard for this. She really wasn’t in the mood anymore. James had just paid the bill and the group was gathering up to go to the next place, He glanced over to see what Marley was staring at. He felt a wave of relief when he saw it was a text from Marc.

“See Marley, he’s just chasing down a treasure for you. I know it sucks he wasn’t here but he knows how excited you were about the Hogwarts treasure I bet he didn’t want to come back empty handed.” He was giving her the best encouraging face he could.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, he can be so hyper-focused sometimes. He probably doesn’t even realize what day it is.” She was trying not to show how let down she was feeling, “listen Jamie, I’m really thankful for lunch and all but I was up early this morning and the ceremony really took it out of me. I think I’m just going to head home.”

“Oh Marley are you sure? I could come with you? We could build a fort and watch a movie.” He could tell she was trying to hold it together.

“Yeah I’m sure but you go and have fun, honestly I’m probably going to go home and take a long nap.” Marlene gave James a sad smile.

Marlene really was exhausted by the time she got home. She took a quick shower and changed into her favorite lounge clothes, as soon as she hit the bed she was out like nox. When Marlene woke she glanced at the clock on her nightstand to see it read 6pm. She could believe she had slept for that long, but then her stomach growled and she knew sleeping through dinner had been a mistake. Pulling out some left over take out from the week before she sat down and decided to give Marc a call. It went straight to voicemail again. She flipped over to the text he had sent her.

“Hey Marly, got held up. Gonna b longer than I thought. Not sure when I’ll b home. See u soon XX”

It was odd but it the more she read it, the more paranoid she got. I mean “Marly” that’s not how Marc usually spelt it. And the “b” “U”, she was constantly teasing Marc about how he texted like an old man, always full sentences and proper grammar. AND he hadn’t even mentioned the ceremony. She knew she was being paranoid but she just couldn’t get it out of her head that something was wrong. Maybe it was that she was alone in this big house or the talks of ghost and pirates but by the time she had finished her orange chicken, Marlene was sure that this was not a text from Marc.

Ok, so somebody had taken Marcs phone and texted her. Now what? She was pacing around the kitchen island, her lip beginning to bleed from biting. She needed to confirm her suspicion, she decided when he didn’t answer yet another call she would try a text.

“Hey Marc! No worries on getting home, Mom happened to be passing through and decided to stay a few days. See you soon X”

Alright that would work, Marc knows him mom would never stay a few days, also she was in the Andes for the summer. Now we wait.

Her phone buzzed almost instantly, odd she thought, if he was near the phone why couldn’t he just answer her call?

“Great! Glad she can keep u company!”

Definitely not Marc. Happy she hadn’t been going crazy and making theories in her head, but also NOT Marc. Marlene quickly grabbed her things and went down to the station.

“So you’re telling me, that your brother was off to find the long lost treasures and gold of some old university and he’s been kidnapped. And you know this because he texted you the letter ‘b’ instead of the word ‘be’?”

The officer was looking at her with a unimpressed face.

Marlene gave him a sheepish smile, “Well, yes.”

“Right. Ok, do you know where your brother was going?” His voice was full of disinterest.

“Well no, not exactly. He didn’t say, just that he had a lead he wanted to check out, and he would be gone for a couple weeks” Marlene at least had the decency to look like she knew it was far-fetched.

“Ok Ma’am, he was only supposed to return yesterday so it’s likely he just got held up. If you don’t hear from him in a week, come back and I’ll see what I can do.” With that he got up and ushered her to the door.

Marlene stepped out into the rain with a disappointed frown. Fine. If he wasn’t going to take her seriously, she would just find Marc herself.

#blackinnon #sirius x marlene #treasure hunt #marlius #non magical au #modern au #my wrtitng

3 notes · View notes

to-read-or-not-to-read3088 · 3 years

Text

70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

📷

Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

📷

At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

📷

Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

📷

Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

📷

Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

📷

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

📷

This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

📷

What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

📷

Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

📷

Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

📷

Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

📷

Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

📷

For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

📷

Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

📷

Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

📷

For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

#bookblr #reviews #recs #books

2 notes · View notes

onf-headcanons · 3 years

Text

ONF IN PSYCHO PASS AU (part 2)

Setting : angst, murder (influenced mass murder), futuristic society, you can read the introduction post prior reading this AU headcanon (for a better understanding cos some keywords will be slightly difficult for non anime audiences)

And warning long post and shipping hinting (I wont write it over explicit but if you are anime audience you can get the hint of which character I based so its suggestive should you integrated anime counterpart to ONF couterpart) if you are uncomfortable with that just kindly ignore it. Only adding it not just because to follow original series but also for the AU/headcanon storyline conflict purposes

Below is the known situation when the story starts in Yuto's POV

Yuto - Inspector

Changyoon - Inspector

Hyojin - Enforcer former Inspector

Jaeyoung - Enforcer

Minkyun - Analyst

Seungjun & Minseok - dead

And again sorry if its messy (Cos mainly I just want this AU to exist and making it to a birthday gift for myself XD)

The whole structure is followed the anime,but I will fast paced-ify to focus on main storyline. Also I will tweak my words/wordings to a more simpler format so that I wont cause you all headache.

Part 2 lets go (and here is where the story starts to be different from the anime plot, but main structure is kept the same)

1-4

(What's written in the file)

The 1st file

Kim Minseok, deceased at age of 20, was a former analyst in CID

2 years from today, it is reported that Kim Minseok was being held hostage along with his friend. It is his off day and the mall he was at, was coincidentally assaulted by terrorist. It is clearly that the attack is meticulously planned.

The group of terrorist have split themselves into smaller groups and used the first attacked location as their base. The head of the group with a about 20 men stay at the mall while the rest the members head out towards the city and started violence.

The group of terrorist took many hostages and they hid themselves in the warehouse (the only building that is currently safe to hide), threatening authorities for money and even the releasing of some mastermind/potential criminals.

They even mentioned should authorities killed 1 of their own, they will kill 1 hostages. That is the reason why they took hostages with exact number of the members in the terrorist group.

The authorities noticed the detected raise of area stress level. Since military are involved, CID are teamed up other department to resolve the issue while politicians try to juggle with terrorists. The goal is to rescue all hostages.

But while waiting, the terrorist had fun torturing their hostages but still keeping alive, based on witness, they are torturing hostages to kill time. (This also resulted authorities had to put effort to operate Psycho Pass cleansing program. as aftermath.)

When rescuing hostages, as reported by former military staff, that the boss of the group killed a hostage who was believed to be a friend of Kim Minseok. The boss was handled immediately before he can do more damage with Lethal Eliminator wounding him badly. This was proved by Lee Seungjun, former and deceased Inspector from CID who was assigned to back up with hostage rescuing mission.

However, Sibyl system detected Kim Minseok's Crime Coefficient level kept rising and spiked up to a highest record in history, marked 812 . Sibyl system judged that there is no saving for Kim Minseok and is to be executed at once. With some difficulties, Kim Minseok was executed by quick decision made by former military staff.

The 2nd file

Kim Hyojin, current status : alive. Former Inspector and current Enforcer of Bureau stationed in CID.

His Crime Coefficient level has tendency to be unstable after the death of his brother Kim Minseok and his colleague, Lee Seungjun. However it was under control as it did not surpass 100.

Based on witness, and observation, Kim Hyojin believed that Lee Seungjun was murdered instead of suicide. It was believed that he over committed into his delusions due to denial while grieving the loss of his brother and his best friend.

And to the extent he assaulted a former military staff who was also assigned to the hostage rescue mission along with Lee Seungjun. And that moment his the record of Crime Coefficient raised to 224 as he was "clouded by anger"

He was later assessed and treated before demoted to Enforcer.

1-5

(loosely based on episode 6,7 and 8)

Even though vague and its just suspicions, Minkyun voices up about a similarity he noticed from previous cases the team has handled recently. What Minkyun noticed was, even though the MO are different in all cases, the criminal are using a similar tech when they are committing crime

Hyojin and Changyoon's experience understand and believe in Minkyun's intention and worry should there is a mastermind behind and there is a larger picture. The team are in dumbstruck that those two would suddenly agree with each other.

"We need to be alert, cannot afford to repeat the tragic event happened 2 years ago." Changyoon comments

"Should there is another huge crime event, the whole city and country's Psycho Pass will go crazy, what happened 2 years ago only child's play in comparison." Hyojin adds

Yuto could feel his back bone shivers when he heard Hyojin talks about it non chalantly. Does he?

And look at the timing, before they can dig deeper into the tech, it is reported that a girl school faculty had a murder case.

While handling the case, Yuto finds opportunity to apologies to Hyojin because he has read into Hyojin's and Minseok's file. That was when Yuto and Hyojin are at office being a support back up for the crime scene investigating members.

"Wait, Why do I have to get angry, Yuto-ya?" Hyojin replies Yuto with a question. And this was a bit unexpected because Yuto thought Hyojin would feel down or upset or even get angry at Changyoon for spilling his history without his consent.

"I guess should I am angry, that would be solely directed at myself..." Hyojin continues with a thoughtful expression. But there a hint of sadness to it. "I knew something was wrong when I observed Seungjun's dead scene and my instincts told me that it might related to my brother's death. Just because I could not make it into words, no one believed in me."

"Is that why you confronted with the ex - military staff?" Yuto pieced the puzzle together. And Hyojin confirms it with a yes.

Yuto can understand why the word "delusions" are used. But unlike others, he does not push away Hyojin's emotions and "delusions".

Yuto timidly asks, "Lee Seungjun.-sshi?..Changyoon-sshi says he is your best friend...Must be someone you treasures."

Hyojin nods and his facial expression becomes brighter. "He is, I known him for ages, we always got each other's back."

"What kind of person is he?"

"Sometimes annoying, but a warm and excellent friend. Knowing him is the best and proudest thing that could happen in my life. " Hyojin smiles as he reminiscing about Seungjun. "I guess Changyoon already told you that I led the team back then right?"

Yuto nods and quietly listens to Hyojin talks about the old days.

"But actually without Seungjun being the pillar support to the team, I don't think I can lead well. Even though outsiders sees the team only led by me. But..." Hyojin pauses for a bit. "It was also led by Seungjun too. Along with Minseok, I never expect both of them to die in those ways."

Initially Yuto wanted to ask more about the old days, but when Hyojin spoke the name of his brother, Yuto pursues his lips as a sign of hesitation. But to his surprise...

"Do you know that Minseok joined the Bureau in a very young age?" Hyojin raised his head and looks at Yuto with glittering eyes. "Wait, you are 99 liner right? That makes you the same age as Minseok!"

Yuto could not process for a bit, so he went along with the flow. With that, more details about Hyojin's brother came out. So Minseok was filed as prodigy during a young age and arranged to join Bureau as an exception. And due to his young age and no plans for him to head out for action, the Bureau only focused on Minseok's academics and training as Analyst. Minseok did some basic self defense but it is not sufficient to qualify as a fighter.

"Aah... Should Minseok and Seungjun are here right now, they will be happy to meet you. Minseok never really had same aged friends when he is in the Bureau..." Hyojin gazes at Yuto as he mutters.

And speaking of Minseok, Yuto then suddenly remembers something and asks Hyojin about the hostage they met on Yuto's first day. "Hyojin- hyung... by any chance, actually you were not trying to hurt the hostage we met on my first day but were trying to contain them by driving them to a dead end?"

"Took you damn long time to figure that out." Hyojin pouts. "To think innocent people getting involved and caught up to things that are way out of normal....Anyone, even Minseok must have been very terrified and stressed to the extent his hue clouded and contaminated."

"But is he truly beyond saving?" Hyojin raise a question with a cold stare that gives Yuto chills.

Yuto keeps his silence as he worried to speak one wrong word. He wanted to say something but the event was 2 years ago and in file writes Hyojin as delusional, and since Changyoon is awfully cold towards Hyojin... Yuto does not know if he should trust everything the person in red hair says because he is questioning the system or trust his own hunch that Hyojin might have some insight that everyone chooses to ignore.

"Come on, don't look so acted up! Sorry if I scared you." Hyojin pats on Yuto's back and changed the mood.

Yuto smiles back at Hyojin and carefully offers, "Hyung , on next off day, can you bring me to visit their graves? I would like to pay my respect towards them as a junior joining this team."

Hyojin lifts his hand and pats Yuto, he smiles even wider and nods at younger one, "Sure. I promise I will not cause any trouble. Our Little Rookie Inspector."

Yuto understands it Hyojin teasing him again, but he let it slide because the mood is finally cheerful now.

"Thank you Yuto." Hyojin suddenly drop that out of no where. "Ever since I became Enforcer, no one talk about them anymore. It is nice to hear their name coming out from 3rd person's mouth and no one is depressed upon hearing it."

Yuto nods as a reply, and that moment, Minkyun returns with the other team. Hyojin instantly puts his index finger close to his lips, indicating the whole conversation a while ago to be kept secret. And Minkyun caught that, playfully wailing that Hyojin is being unfair and he should not just share his secret to Yuto only.

So the case that they has to attend to this time was young girl students being murdered, dissected/dismembered and later ensemble to look like an art piece of dark and grotesque genre.

It was suspected that a former teacher is committing the crime due to revenge by abducting the students and displaying the achievement by making the corpse into "art form". However, it did not take long for a second case with the same MO to appear and there is still no sign of the former teacher to be found anywhere in the city. Before any new evidence to be found, the Bureau can only back up by help enhancing security at the all girls school.

While looking at the photo of exhibit of dismembered victim, Jaeyoung unconsciously mentioned about genre and art style and the keywords enlightened the team. Minkyun search the data base but none could be found. Leaving the option of dark web, but it is unwise for Bureau to deal with those even if its for case solving purpose..

Hyojin remembers a criminal locked might help and once he gotten Changyoon's approval, Yuto and Hyojin immediately head to the place, hoping the person in Hyojin's mind could lend a hand. Yuto is curious on why Hyojin is so confident that the said person might be helpful, Hyojin mentioned that he was the one who put the said person behind the bars for having high Crime Coefficient level while selling illegal inappropriate artworks banned by authority policy.

Thankfully, the artist in confinement noticed the genre and art style by browsing through MO photo data provided by Hyojin and Yuto. It gave a huge clue, the MO was inspired by a famous underground artist, whose works are banned on market but the sales thrives in the black market. Apparently the artist has black market art persona and the normal persona. Art maniacs knows about this so it is not really a secret unless you dig into to it enough.

The team let Minkyun to run the data base to see if there is any connection between artist and students, even teachers and staffs in the school and BINGO. Apparently the artist's daughter is attending the school.

Knowing its a very suggestive clue, the team rushes to the school to get their culprit. They succeeded on getting the criminal this time but the murder still succeed in doing her 1 last act getting caught by CID. (Here is different from anime)

While monitoring back ups helping to clear crime scene, Changyoon calls Hyojin to have a chat at the Enforcers wagon and let Yuto to monitor Jaeyoung.

Back in the wagon, Changyoon and Hyojin temporary forgot their conflicts and start to piece the puzzles together. Changyoon even though sometimes is a bit not flexible, but when he sees Hyojin acknowledging Minkyun, he knows that the Enforcer in front of him is still the ex superior he knows.

Changyoon scratches his head a bit and tells Hyojin that the current and previous virtual community case felt a bit off. And should Minkyun's hint are actually legit, how should they tie up all the puzzle together?

Hyojin while biting his knuckles he goes, "Even though the young criminal this time has a high IQ. but as a minor, it is hard to believe that they can prepare such intricate crime display."

"I agree. " Changyoon adds, "This is an all girl school with dorm and I don't think our young criminal can gain access to the tools even if she wants to."

Hyojin and Changyoon come to a conclusion, that there is definitely a mastermind or consultant helping out criminals to execute their crimes, but who?

All cases looking irrelevant against each other but with the frequencies of cases occurring here and there, it does not hurt to think whoever behind this definitely is aiming for a raise of area stress level in a national degree. If that so, they might not dealing with a mastermind, but a group of crime syndicate who is trying to initiate a psycho hazard.

Although they both do not have strong evidence to prove their point but should their speculations are true (because of their first hand experience come contact with all these cases), it is already scary. While terror attack can produce fear and violence in large scale straightforwardly, a raise of crime number/disturbing criminal events affecting citizen's mental security can have long term effect. It is also a way to make authority focus on cleansing and clearing the hue and got distracted from something even menacing.

After a few seconds of silence, Hyojin finally breaks the ice., "Do we have a list of mastermind criminals that the terrorist group requested the authority to release 2 years ago?"

Changyoon replies "Yes we have, but... the authority did not really released them for reals. Its just a fake act to buy time...."

Hyojin stares at Changyoon in a straight face as they had thought of the same possibility.

"Hyojin are you suggesting that the terror attack was just to cover up a secret swap?" Changyoon stood up in disbelief, eyes wide open. "Thats crazy! Do you know how many terrorist members are there on that day? That many manpower and gunpowder just to do a human swap? For what purpose?!"

"And if there is a secret swap, are you saying that there is a traitor in our government?" Changyoon exclaims.

Hyojin only lowers his gaze and mutters, "I don't know." and he continues

"And you still think I am crazy?" Hyojin raises a corner of his lips and look at Changyoon with a victorious smile.

"I know you are delusional but this is insane, Hyojin." Changyoon frowns while he mutters. "Why do you have to complicate things and push yourself so hard until your Psycho Pass get clouded so bad?"

"My brother and my best friend both died with unconvincing cause of death. There are numerous points that are quite fishy regarding to the terror attack 2 years ago, Changyoon." Hyojin stares at Changyoon with firm eyes and its overflowing with hope.

"Seungjun wasn't himself after the death of my brother, it was not only guilt and regret he was feeling, he never acted like that before. He knew something. He must have seen something." Seeing Changyoon standing in front of him in silence, Hyojin took the chance to continue.

"I was there, I was the first person to find Seungjun's death scene. And as an former Inspector, I can tell you that was not a suicide." Hyojin starts to get excited as he voices out his points. "Who would choose to burn themselves and set a fire to their apartment room while at it when they can have a quick death?"

Changyoon still looking at Hyojin as if he is looking at a clown.

"You are a smart guy Changyoon, you can definitely tell there is something off if you..."

"Shut up." Changyoon silences Hyojin as he knows Hyojin is trying to persuade him to share common interest, Changyoon groans in irritation and barges out from the wagon, leaving Hyojin startled.

Jaeyoung who come across to this, asks if Hyojin did anything to piss Changyoon off in a concerned tone, Hyojin only denies him by laughing it off.

And Changyoon, who dashes into his car, punches the steering with his might before covering his face with his hands.

"What am I to you then?" he whispers into the silence. "Am I not your friend as well?"

To be continued on part 3

2 notes · View notes

my-whumpy-little-heart · 5 years

Text

In anticipation of @whump-tr0pes‘ lovely book “Honor Bound” coming out soon, I used a class assignment as an excuse to make fanart!

So the assignment was to make an advertisement poster for something, so I kinda went with making a movie poster(?) for Honor Bound.

This isn’t technically the finished product since I adjusted some levels after this test, but with school being closed I figured I wasn’t going to have access to another laser engraver for a long while (oh! this was printed by a laser engraver on a piece of cardboard by the way).

I have more details, symbolism, and a sketch to talk about, but I’ll leave those below a cut because that’s gonna end up reeeally long.

So first of all, I loved the idea of having a sort of collage of all the team member names, but I also wanted to include some sort of drawn portrait too. So bam, all the team names superimposed on a sketch of what I imagine Isaac to look like, since he’s essentially the main character through a lot of the story.

As for the team name placement, I had a bit of thought behind that besides aesthetics. Because I’m a sucker for ~~symbolism~~

Isaac: his name’s at the top since he was originally a leader figure in the group, and while not exactly the brains, he often has a high level of authority.

Sam: Placed right near Isaac, exactly where he always wants to be :D. Also near the eyebrows (often purposefully accentuated to appear more attractive) for being one of the “prettier” members of the group.

Vera: Right along the bridge of the nose, at the forefront of the action but also most easily broken ;). Farther away from the other names for the beginning of the story when she’s more often emotionally closed off from the team.

Ellis and Finn: A double whammy with Ellis along the cheekbones: sharp and intuitive, a strong standout member of the team, and Finn just below them in the softer skin by the nose: more hidden in the background, a very important asset and beloved Soft One. Complimenting and juxtaposing each other, but connected at the hip.

Gray: The stiff upper lip of the group (you have no idea how proud of myself I am for coming up with that hehehe), often strict and restrained, but filled with a whole lot of love. Everybody’s parent, and my beloved ace rep ;v; ily gray honey.

Tori: A newer member of the group, finding her place in the background but proving to be a large, essential teammate. Slotted in the space under the cheekbones, she is less often thought of but no less developed and important.

Gavin: Along the jawline for his sharp acerbity and making himself a permanent spot in the team’s story, whether they like it or not. Largely important, but separated and easily dislocated. As much as the team would like to shake him off, it would only hurt the entire structure more.

Alright wow that was a lot.

Anyway, for the overall picture, I loved the side profile aspect and had Isaac stare determinedly at the word “Honor.” I feel like he connects a lot to the title in how he at first goes to Gavin to preserve his own honor as a useful member of the team, and slowly relinquishes it to try and save them in the same way. Not that either of that really works, huh? Poor Isaac awwww buddy.

Now, you might ask, why is he collared? Uhhhhhhhhhh I have a really good explanation somewhere around hereeee come on man, just truthfully tell me you don’t want to see Isaac Moore collared and only then will I give you the good explanation I definitely have

Past that, I just included the little heartbeat graphic because I needed something fun to put in the background so it didn’t look bland. Hearbeat it is. Meaning is that all the characters try to stay alive. Wham. There ya go. Alright, uhhh next.

Athena revealed her full name and the book and everything in the middle of me making this, and I would have put her full name for accuracy, but I didn’t really want my teacher to have a reason or way to trace this back to the actual book lol. I told him it was something I was reading online and that was it, so he doesn’t need to know anything about my whumpy side.

That being said, the W-T just stands for whump-tr0pes. Plus I love the way capital letters look in that font, so how could I resist?

Besides all of the design elements, if you guys are at all curious about how I made this logistically, it was with a program called Lightburn. That’s where I added all the text, and imported an image from the internet of a heartbeat and manipulated it to make it work and fit. As for the picture of Isaac, I drew that myself first on a sketch in my notebook.

Then I took it into Photoshop, drew over it and cleaned it up, and saved as an image that I then opened in Lightburn. And then painstakingly edited the text so it would curve along the lines of the face (the stupid program didn’t have a way to actually manipulate and bend text, so that left my typing out names letter by letter and aligning them while my soul melted away into a puddle aghHHH)

Alright I think that’s finally all I have to say on this. Had too much fun making it, all that jazz, I’ll get out of here now. If you read this far, kudos to you. I admire you, whoever you may be.

#fanart #whump art #whump #honor bound!!#y'all read it if you haven't #i don't know HOW you would'nt have read it #but it's incredible #freaking good stuff my lad Athena #okay anyway already typed way too much in this post #gonna leave it at this #collar whump #a lil' bit

59 notes · View notes

aatsms · 4 years

Text

My Turn To Fix You (Connor x Reader)

This is my first fanfic that I have ever written so pls be nice! I know it’s long but tbh I wrote this mostly for myself lol. It basically follows the story of a CyberLife engineer (the reader) and our boy Connor! I plan to write multiple chapters for this if anyone actually becomes interested lol!

Chapter 1

Work at the station had been more intense than usual these past three weeks. Protesters had been extra violent in Detroit, protesting against the manufacturing of androids. They usually took their anger out on the police androids in the streets. You guess it made them feel more powerful to rough up an android that was supposed to act as a type of authority. You thought it was kind of pathetic and pointless to cause so much damage to android simply doing its job. It also gave you a shit ton more work than usual since you were the CyberLife engineer working at the Detroit PD to repair any police android that might need it. Police androids are only used for basic police work, such as giving tickets, stoping pick pocketers on the street, and staying alert of anything that might be suspicious or threatening. They don't even carry a gun or weapons, serving more as an extra eye for cops on duty. Connor, the RK800 that works with Hank, is the only android that acts as a fully working detective, able to have a weapon and upgraded with CyberLife's most advance technology.

You had to admit, he was incredibly impressive. When you had received the blueprints and manuals on his wiring before he first arrived at the station, you found yourself actually a bit overwhelmed. He barely used any parts that were similar to the ones that most androids used, and his wiring was so intricate. He was the most advanced model of android you had ever seen. It took you a few days to get comfortably familiar with his systems so you would be prepared to fix him up if ever he needed it once he arrived. You figured you would be seeing him a lot since he was the only android in the front line of dangerous work.

Tonight is the first Friday in a long time you can remember being able to actually leave work on time. It was honestly a miracle. It seemed there was always paper work that needed filling out or an android that needed tending to. It was nice to be home on your couch, under a warm blanket, with food that wasn't takeout for a change, and all by 11:30. You were swiping through an article on the debate of weather android police dogs should also be used in police departments. It seems unlikely. At least until it is confirmed by CyberLife that they are reliable; that they can't disobey their orders or even go deviant. (If that's even possible for android animals.) You were thankful either way because android animals would require you to become familiar with a whole new type of engineering. Learning the ins and outs of Connor was enough.

It was pouring rain as you were reading. The occasional crash of thunder and lightning was almost comforting to you. You began to dose off to the sounds of the familiar Detroit weather outside. You were suddenly jerked awake by a loud crash of thunder. Or at least that's what you thought woke you up. Standing in the frame of your front door was the RK800 android from the station. He had forced open the door, breaking the lock, and was completely soaked from the rain. He was hunched over, clutching his torso. His LED was flashing bright red.

"Connor?! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Sorry for the unannounced visit y/n. I hope it's not an inconvenience."

You were suddenly aware of the massive flow of blue blood seeping from his midsection. He could barely stand. You rushed over to help him stay upright.

"Oh my god Connor what happened?!

"Do you think maybe we could talk about the details once i'm not losing an unsafe amount of thirium?"

"Right, right, right." You were trying to take deep breaths and not panic. He really looked like shit. "I have a room in the back with a workbench and a whole bunch of extra android parts and emergency thirium. Let's get you back there fast."

You put his right arm around your neck to help him stand and used your other hand to apply pressure to the general area where he was bleeding. Based on the amount of blue his shirt was drenched in, you could tell he was wounded in multiple places. You quickly helped him as he limped to the back room.

You shoved aside half finished diagnostic reports and old projects off the work bench and helped Connor onto it. His entire shirt was now covered in blue blood.

"Connor, you're going to need to take off your shirt for this one. I can't even tell where the hell you're bleeding from!" He began to undress as you frantically searched for your crate with supplies to perform a blue blood transfusion. You were not used to having to repair androids at your own house. This was the first time anything like this had happened. You were wondering how the hell Connor even knew where you lived.

Finally, you found the crate with the supplies you were looking for. Quickly, you turned around, looking directly at a shirtless Connor on your work bench. You weren't sure why, but you felt yourself freeze for a moment, taken aback by the android sitting in front of you. You couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was about him that was so intriguing in that moment. Maybe it was the fact that he was in such incredible shape. You weren't sure why you weren't expecting him to be so ripped. "I mean of course he is." you thought. "Why wouldn't CyberLife give their newest super weapon abs y/n??" You chuckled to yourself a little under your breath at your own thoughts.

"Is everything alright y/n?" He seemed more concerned about you than the flow of thirium leaving his body.

"Ya sorry, I just... I don't know. Let's get you fixed." You shook away your thoughts and began to focus on the task at hand.

You immediately began work on him, having to use his shirt to wipe the blood from his abdomen so you could get a sense of where all the blue blood was coming from. You discovered 4 bullet holes. "Holy shit Connor what were you doing?"

"Well, my mission didn't go exactly how I expected" he managed to huff out. You could tell the loss of thirium was starting to catch up to him. God only knows how long it took him to find your house after he was shoot.

Once you cleaned up enough of the thirium to see what you were doing, you began to work on assessing the damage and removing the bullets. You also decided to try to get some answers.

"You must have really pissed someone off for them to have shot you 4 times."

"Well I imagine getting caught while dealing 20 pounds of red ice would be rather aggravating."

"20 pounds?! How do you even come across 20 pounds if red ice?"

"That's why I was put on this case. They want me to find out where exactly these dealers are finding so much red ice."

"Alright Connor, i'm removing the first bullet now. Be ready to apply pressure."

His LED flashed a quick red as you removed the first bullet. He barely flinched, letting out nothing but a silent grunt. You proceeded to the next bullet.

"You're lucky you got here so quickly. Any longer and there would have been nothing I could do. How did you even find my apartment?"

"I knew I wouldn't be able to find you in the precinct because I overheard you talking to detective Reed that you were planing on getting home early tonight. I knew my mission tonight was dangerous so I saved your address in my database in case of emergency."

You let out a small laugh and smiled up at him. "You're lucky you were listening in."

"My programming requires me to be listening to any conversations happening around me within a 20 foot radius."

You thought about what he just said as you finally reached the second bullet. You and Reed were on the other side of the precinct, opposite of where Connor's desk is, when you told him your plans of leaving early. Connor was at his desk, definitely farther than 20 feet away, when you were talking to Gavin. Was Connor....trying to listen to your conversation? Why? You shook the thought from your mind.

"Okay, next bullet out in 3..2...." You removed the second bullet right under his rib. This time he had to brace himself slightly by grabbing the edge of the bench. You put your hand on his shoulder.

"You good?"

"Yeah" he huffed as he placed his hand over yours on his shoulder. "Move onto the next bullet, i'll be fine."

You were amazed by how calm he was, considering you were on the edge of having a full fledged panic attack. Quickly, you moved to the spot of the third and fourth bullet. They were relatively close to each other.

"Thank god they didn't hit your thirium pump. It's hard to find those parts for a standard android, let alone an RK800. I don't think I even have one that would fit your model here in my office."

"You're smart y/n. You would have figured something out."

You tried to convince yourself you believed that statement. Connor seemed to have a lot of confidence in you. Probably too much you thought.

"Last two Connor. I'm gonna take both out at the same time since they're right next to each other. Get ready." You pulled the bullets from his waist with one last tug. He let out a sharp whine, clenching his eyes shut and grabbing your wrist as you removed the last bullets. His grip on your wrist was surprisingly gentle and warm. You forgot that the flow of thirium through his body allowed for him to give off at least some body heat. CyberLife really knew how to make these androids seem so human.

He slowly let go of your wrist, as his LED circled from a wild red back to yellow and then to blue. You let out a sigh of relief. Finally the hard part was over. All that was left to do now was transfuse some blue blood back into his body, and check to make sure none of his parts or wiring was damaged from the shots. He's able to heal over the wound himself with prosthetic skin.

"My diagnostics program is telling me that there doesn't seem to be any major problems. Only minor motor function issues that can be fixed with a system reset."

"You're lucky Connor. You could have been done for shit." You finished setting up your equipment for the transfusion. Thank god you were done. It was now that you realized that you were sweating. You were used to being under intense pressure, that was part of your job most of the time. But never had it made you this stressed. Connor could have been gone....and it would have been your fault.

You sat yourself down on the center on the floor, laying your legs straight out in front of you and placing your hands behind you for support. For what felt like the first time in the past 20 minutes, you were finally able to catch your breath. You shut your eyes and began to take deep breaths. It was finally over.

"y/n, I noticed that the situation has caused your heart rate to increase rapidly. I'm sorry for any distress I might have caused you. It wasn't my intention." Connor was not knelt down beside you on the floor. His LED was circling yellow from scanning you.

“Of course you didn't, it's not your fault Connor. If anything i'm thankful you got here before it was too late."

He now sat down across from you, sitting perfectly in a criss-cross position. You both sat in silence for the next few seconds, taking the opportunity to rest after everything that just happened.

"Thank you y/n."

You lifted your head to look across at him. It felt like he was staring right into you. You knew he was an android, but the sincerity in his eyes seemed so real. You couldn't help but feel like he meant it. You gave him a warm smile. "No problem Connor." You started to get up from the floor. "And besides" you smirked, "it's kinda my job to save your ass."Connor looked up at you from the floor, the little light on the side of his head circling with blue. "So" you sighed. "What now?"

Connor swiftly stood up from the floor.

"I learned some critical information for Hank and I's investigation tonight, however I doubt he would appreciate a visit from me so late."

You started to clean up the supplies, parts, and thirium from your workbench as you talked to him. "The precinct is always open, you could go there and file everything in the database until tomorrow morning.

"I need to conduct my system reset before I do anything. If too many of my basic functions are down, my programming won't allow me to do much."

"How long does this reset take?"

"Four hours." Connor seemed annoyed with his answer

"You could just do your reset here. If for some reason anything goes wrong or I somehow missed something when fixing you up, you're right here."

He seemed to be considering what you were offering, his LED flashing yellow. "That would seem to be my best option. I hope you don't mind" The sincerity was back in his eyes.

"It's not a problem at all. Plus I'd rather be able to keep an eye on you for the night."

Connor made his way toward you at the workbench, reaching for his jacket. It was then that you realized Connor was still shirtless. You weren't sure why, but you felt slightly embarrassed as he come closer to you. He seemed to notice something was off. He turned to look at you, his face only inches away from yours.

"Is everything ok y/n?" he asked with genuine curiosity in his voice.

You turned your head back to look straight in front of you instead of looking at Connor.

"Ya sorry I...I was just thinking that maybe we should get you some clothes until I get yours washed." You glanced at him with a nervous smile, trying not to look at his bare chest. Even though he was an android, you still felt you needed to be respectful for some reason. Connor turned to look at his once crisp white shirt now covered in a milky blue.

"I would definitely appreciate clothes that aren't covered in my own thirium."

#dbh #connor #connorxreader #dbhfanfic #dbhconnorxreader #cyberlife #cyberlifeengineer #detroit #androidxreader #connordbh #hankdbh #detroit become human #chapter one

23 notes · View notes

thebaronmunchausen · 5 years

Text

Like most of you writers, I got my start as a writer in the campus press, first in high school, then in college. And, like most of my contemporaries I dreamed of a career in journalism—writing for the national newspapers and magazines, since, in those days, there was only print journalism. Creative writing programs, and even creative writing courses didn’t exist.

UST, my alma mater, offered a degree in Journalism (with course offerings which included the new fields of Advertising and Public Relations). In the same faculty (the Faculty of Philosophy & Letters, or Philets), which taught Journalism, it also offered a Bachelor of Philosophy (with course offerings which included many Literature subjects). I chose Philosophy even if I had no idea what profession a degree in Philosophy prepared one for, mainly because I wanted to take all those Literature courses.

In high school, while writing for and eventually editing The Paulinian, I began to contribute feature articles to several national magazines (all unfortunately short-lived). As a sophomore in college, while writing for and eventually editing The Varsitarian, I wrote a weekly column in the youth section of the “Manila Chronicle”; and as a senior, I became Editor of the youth section of the “Weekly Graphic”. So, when I graduated from college, I considered myself a professional journalist.

But what I really wanted to be was a writer of short stories, and, of course, to win a Palanca. This didn’t come easily to me. It was essays that I wrote, and the Palanca Awards then did not yet include the essay category. My best friend had already won a Palanca for her poetry while still an undergraduate. But I hadn’t even published a story! And when she was invited to be part of the first Writers’ Workshop in Silliman, and I wasn’t, I was devastated.

When my first short story was published, I was 25, married and a mother. When I won my first Palanca, my husband had accepted a job with UNICEF, and we were living in Beirut. The news got to me in a letter from my mother, sent via diplomatic pouch by UNICEF in Manila. Tony was out of the country, and my oldest daughter was in school. So the only one I could share my big news with was my second daughter, Anna, who was around 4 years old. I said to her: “Anna, guess what, I won a prize for my story—I got 3rd prize.” She thought about that for a moment, and then, she said, “Gee, Ma, you have to try harder next time.”

I have another favorite Palanca memory. It happened in this very room on Palanca Night. I was here with my husband, Tony. Either he or I had served as judge for one of the categories. A young man came up to greet us—it was the late Luis Katigbak, still an undergraduate in the UP’s Creative Writing Program then. He looked rather self -conscious in his dark suit. I had only ever seen him in t-shirts and jeans, so I almost didn’t recognize him. We congratulated him for his prize, and he shook our hands, gave us a wide smile, and a little bow. After he had left us, Tony said to me, “That’s the look and the swagger of a writer who has just won his first Palanca. Recognize it?”

And every Palanca night since, I have seen that look and that swagger in some of the young writers in attendance. But now and again, I wonder: how long will this last? The question I’m asking is not long will the Palanca Awards last, but how long will writers keep on wanting and trying to produce the kind of writing that wins a Palanca award?

Why am I asking this question? We all know that in the different branches of the country’s biggest bookstore chain, what few shelves are devoted to books are not occupied by literary titles written by Filipino writers. Of course, these days, the question that follows naturally on that one is: but what do we mean by that term “literary title”?

A few months ago, at a meeting of the Board of Trustees of the Book Development Association of the Philippines (BDAP), I heard another term used for the first time: “hard literature.” I learned that, in the publishing world, the term has replaced the earlier term, “serious literature.” As a writer, and a reader, my own definition of “serious literature” is literature that is carefully crafted, literature that seeks to explore ideas which the writer feels strongly about, literature that is written, not just to share experiences, but to offer insights about its subject. In other words, literature which has a chance of winning a Palanca award.

But at that meeting I am referring to, the speaker (himself a very successful local publisher, who happens to be here tonight, and who has given me permission to mention his name—Mr. Jun Matias of Precious Pages and Lampara) made a pitch for Filipino publishers to be more open—not just to “hard literature”—but to all forms writing. There is so much of it being produced now, he said, so many young people wanting to share their stories, and so many people wanting to read them, that publishers who choose to continue to ignore it, or “judge” it—by which he meant, look down on it—run the risk of being left behind. This made me sit up.

Jun then showed us a brief video of one of his authors—a Wattpad writer—arriving for a “meetup.” This writer’s fans were so numerous that they had to open another room to accommodate them. When she arrived, she was received like a rock star—with screams and shrieks and wild applause. And she looked the part too—young and slim with straight long hair, her face partly hidden by huge shades.

Another publisher later told me that her company has been in an arrangement with Wattpad since 2014, to turn selected Wattpad novels into print novels. One of these, “She’s Dating a Gangster” by Bianca Bernardino became, not just an National Bookstore bestseller, but the first Wattpad novel to be turned into a movie (by Star Cinema, with Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla in the lead roles).

This publisher also informed me that their most popular writer, Jonaxx, is so big that the company has created an imprint just for her. Her real name is Jonah Mae Panen Pacala; she’s 28 years old and a pre-school teacher from Cagayan de Oro. According to her fan page she is the first Filipina Wattpad author to gain 1 million followers. Last year, that figure went up to 2.7M+. And her fans are so fiercely devoted to her that they object to her novels’ being changed in any way, including correcting grammar and syntax. “Mapapansin Kaya?” the first of her books to be published, had a print run of 40,000. Seven of her books have been published so far. Since she joined Wattpad in 2012, she has published 32 novels. (That was a year ago. Perhaps she has since produced more.)

Actually, my initial reaction to the Wattpad phenomenon when I first heard of it was astonishment. I had no idea that so many people wanted to write fiction. But why not? Looking back on my own teen years… didn’t I, too, want to write stories?

I began writing stories because I loved reading them. I’m talking about novels like “Little Women” and “Anne of Green Gables” and “Daddy Long Legs;” and later, the Nancy Drew series and the Beverly Gray series—what today are called “YA novels.” My world was a small one. My parents were conservative and kept me at home most of the time. To use a hoary cliché, reading books opened doors for me, doors into other, larger, worlds.

When I first tried to write stories, I was a pre-teen. I simply wanted to imitate the stories I had read. The heroines in those stories had adventures; they fell in love. And they wanted to be writers! They became my role models. My writing—like my reading—was not so much for self-expression or sharing with others. It was a form of escape, an escape from a life I considered boring and humdrum.

But I outgrew those stories. There was something predictable in their plots, and in their characters, principally, the little orphan girl, neglected and deprived of love, but gifted with a vivid imagination. After various mishaps, some painful, sone hilarious, she transforms into a strong-minded, large-hearted, confident, accomplished, and lovely young woman; and of course finds a young man worthy of her.

So, I moved on to Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, to Mark Twain and Harper Lee and Charles Dickens. I discovered Nick Joaquin and Kerima Polotan and Carmen Guerrero Nakpil. I realized I was no longer reading just for escape. Without fully realizing what I was looking for, I just knew I was looking for something else, for something more.

My writing began to change as well. I showed my new essays and stories to my English teachers and the school paper adviser. When they edited these, or wrote comments on the margins, I did not take this as an infringement on my freedom. Neither did any of my classmates, by the way. We took it as an effort to help us become better writers. And we were grateful. (Which is I find it difficult to understand why, today, some beginning writers are averse to being edited.)

Anyway, this whole process simply meant that I was growing up as a person. And that I was developing as a writer.

Today, I ask myself: if the Net had existed when I was a teen-ager, and had it been possible to post my scribblings on an app like Wattpad, without the benefit of comments or suggestions from teachers or more experienced writers; had I acquired a huge following, and my stories been turned into printed books, which would sell copies in the hundreds of thousands… if these things had happened to me, would I have chosen to stop writing girlish romances, and moved on to other subjects, and other ways of writing? What would have been the reason for doing so?

It has occurred to me that this may well be the situation some of the Wattpad writers find themselves in. They’re already successful. What else do they need to do? In particular, why do they need to go to college and study writing?

Actually, I know people—some of them, writers—who believe that one does not have to get a degree in creative writing to become a writer. And that is certainly true. National Artists Nick Joaquin, NVM Gonzalez, Francisco Arcellana didn’t have degrees in Creative Writing. National Artists Bienvnido Lumbera, Virgilio Almario, and Frankie Sionil Jose don’t have degrees in creative writing. And, as I said earlier, neither do I.

The establishment of Creative Writing as an academic discipline is relatively new (unlike the B.A. in Fine Arts and the B.A. in Music, which have been around for more than a century). But I’m not quite sure why anyone would discourage young writers from wanting to get degrees in creative writing.

The myth seems to be that a formal education in writing will “destroy” your natural, instinctive talent. And, perhaps, there ARE some teachers out there whose methods may, in fact, have a negative effect on their students. But doesn’t this happen in all fields, be they the arts, the natural sciences, or the social sciences? There are good teachers and bad teachers; there are teachers whom some students find inspiring while others find them boring.

I tell my students that, at some point, they should become pro-active and choose the mentor they feel is the best suited to their own temperaments, someone they admire and trust and feel they can work with. Such a mentor cannot harm them; in fact, he or she, is more likely to be a great help to them.

I’ve said this often before: writing is a profession like any other. One trains to become a professional. It is accepted as natural that people in the other arts, like painting or sculpture should wish to enroll in a College of Fine Arts, and musicians should wish to enter a Conservatory of Music. And, certainly in the visual arts and in music, the more highly skilled you are, the bigger your chances of selling your works via the great international auction houses or doing solo performances to the accompaniment of great symphony orchestras. Why should it be any different for literature?

Of course writers who don’t want to get a university education don’t have to get it. But if they’re serious about making writing their career—if they wish to be professional writers—they need some form of training, even if it be self-training. All training requires hard work, but this kind of training—self-training—even more so.

One learns any skill, first, by imitating those who know how to do it. Even child prodigies—like Tiger Woods, who was playing golf when he was two years old—took golf lessons, from his father, first of all. Even gifted musicians—like the band Queen and its brilliant front man Freddie Mercury—have acknowledged the influence on their work of other rock stars, whom they respected, and whose music they spent time studying: Elvis Presley, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix.

When the UST Center for Creative Writing invited Ely Buendia to speak at a forum on song writing, I asked him what he thought had led to the Eraser Heads’ great success. He said he didn’t know, but he also told me that he had admired many other musicians, had studied them, and tried to incorporate those influences into his music. He mentioned, in particular, Elvis Presley (who, in turn, had been influenced by African American blues, southern country music, and gospel music). And he mentioned our own folk songs, which he said he had also studied.

To return to what I was saying earlier: what would be the incentive of the phenomenally popular and commercially successful Wattpad writer to raise the level of her writing skills, and take on concerns larger than first love or first heartbreak?

Actually, I know someone who has done just that. Perhaps some of you will recognize the name Charmaine M. Lasar. She’s a 20-year-old Wattpad writer, who won the Carlos Palanca award for the novel in Filipino in 2015. She has been quoted to the effect that she joined the Palanca literary contest because she “wanted to refute the idea that only garbage comes out of Wattpad.” But she also added that, in writing her 35,000-word novel, Toto-O, which she claims to have written in just one month, she “consciously deviated from her Wattpad writing style, which is looser and more carefree,” and opted to write something that was “medyo malalim” in terms of language.” Also, its plot has nothing to do with young love or heartbreak.

The novel was published in 2016 by JumpMedia. And last year, Maine was accepted by the UP Institute of Creative Writing as a writing fellow for its National Writers Workshop. I met her there, and she told me she was considering saving up to enroll for a Creative Writing degree. I salute her, and I salute the Palanca Awards for giving her the recognition she earned.

Her crossover is proof that the two worlds—the world of pop fiction and the world of hard literature—are not mutually exclusive.

Back in 1999, after retiring from government service, my husband (who, in one of his earlier incarnations, had also been a poet, an essayist , and a journalist), set up a small publishing company that he ran pretty much by himself. He had in mind two lines: information books, and literature. But when he found out how small the print run of most literary titles was, he was shocked. Why, he asked me, would I go to all that trouble and use up all that time to write a novel or a collection of short stories or essays, if only a thousand people were going to read me?

He was determined to publish books that would appeal to larger audiences, and he decided that the way to do that was to produce short, light, nonfiction books, targetting readers in their 20s and 30s; books which would be accessible, without losing their literary quality. Many of the writers he published were first-time authors, like Vlad Gonzalez, Carljoe Javier, Rica Bolipata Santos; but he also published writers who already had something of a name, like Marivi Soliven Blanco, and Luis Katigbak; and award-winning writers like Butch Dalisay, Vince Groyon, and Chris Martinez. The award winners were not averse to trying their hand at writing that would have a more popular appeal.

Milflores books did well in terms of sales. A few did exceptionally well. And some of the Miflores books also won awards, like Rica Bolipata Santos’ “Love, Desire, Children, Etc.,” which won the Madrigal Gonzalez Best First Book Award.

Today, we have Visprint Publishing, which is doing something similar, but on a much larger scale. Some of the writers whom Nida Ramirez publishes are actually academics, like Chuckberry Pascual, Joselito Delos Reyes, and John Jack Wigley. All three have written “hard literature.” All have won awards for their writing. But Nida has chosen to publish their lighter work. Visprint books are small, inexpensive, light, humorous. Nida has also published the speculative fiction of Eliza Victoria and the graphic fiction of Manix Abrera. Actually, none of Visprint’s titles are sleepers. And some have won literary awards too. In fact, in 2015, Visprint received a National Book Award as Publisher of the Year, a prize which goes to the publisher with the biggest number of winning titles for that year.

So Visprint would seem to represent the happy bridge between the commercially successful book and the artistically lauded book, proving, yet again, that these are not incompatible.

In that sense, this is actually a very exciting time for writers. There have never been so many choices available, including what would have been mind-boggling for me and my contemporaries: self-publishing online.

Before making those choices, though, writers need to figure out a few things. First, what kind of books do they want to write? Second, what kind of writers do they want to be, or think they can be? Third, do they mainly want to entertain readers, or to challenge them intellectually, or to influence them politically? Do they want to make as much money as they can? Or do they want to write in the best way they know how? Or do they want to try and do both? And, finally, how do they want their books distributed—by commercial publishers? by academic publishing houses? by themselves, on line and in small expos?

These choices will be determined by what they believe the function of literature is in a country like ours, at the time in which we live, and what role they want to play in it as writers.

Because I am a writer who is also a publisher, I understand the need to be commercially viable. But, as an educator, I also believe that public service is an important responsibility of the publishing industry. And this means recognizing that expanding the market for books is important, not just for bigger profits, but because more educated citizens make more mature citizens—an indispensable element for any experiment in democracy, like ours.

In concrete terms, this means: on the one hand, accepting the level at which most of our reading public is—what it’s willing to read, what it enjoys reading—and, on the other hand, committing at least a part of the resources available to producing books which will upgrade standards and tastes.

Personally, I remain committed to writing in the best way I know how, no matter how small the audience for this kind of writing might be. Because I feel that literature of this sort—“hard literature,” if you will --serves its own purpose.

In another essay, I wrote about this, and perhaps you will allow me to quote from it: “Writers of all generations have tried to define that purpose. But there are periods in our history when it becomes startlingly clear. The period we live in today, in this country, is one of them—one of those periods when events, both natural and man-made, conspire to drain one of all hope that better times lie ahead."

I mentioned the book, "Sonoran Desert Summer," by John Alcock, professor of Zoology at Arizona State University, where he describes June in the desert as "the month of almost no hope for all living creatures, with the temperature at 102 degrees, rainfall at two-tenths of an inch, and a wind that has removed almost every hint of moisture from the desert world."

He calls it "a time for hanging on, enduring, letting the days pass."

And then, he describes how, suddenly… "from the boulders on the still shaded lower slope of Usery Mountain comes a song, the clear, descending trill of a canyon wren. Loud, defiant, and encouraging, it announces a survivor... (The bird) bounds from rock to rock, at perfect ease in its home in the desert.’’

Sometimes I think that this might be the reason we do it, the reason we keep on writing. This is our song, “defiant and encouraging.”

As writers, we all know that we must stay the course, most particularly in bleak times such as those that confront us now. We will not necessarily agree on what we are called upon to do, but we will do it according to our best lights. We will observe, we will record, we will protest. Above all, we will remember. And we will endure.

Cristina Pantoja Hidalgo

*Speech delivered during the Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards, November 8, 2019, at the Manila Peninsula, where the author was Guest of Honor and received the Dangal ng Lahi Award

11 notes · View notes

richincolor · 5 years

Photo

Today we welcome Caroline Tung Richmond to the blog. She is co-editor, along with Elsie Chapman, of Hungry Hearts: 13 Tales of Food and Love. Caroline kindly answers questions about editing an anthology, writing, sloths, and of course food.

Publisher summary: A shy teenager attempts to express how she really feels through the confections she makes at her family’s pasteleria. A tourist from Montenegro desperately seeks a magic soup dumpling that could cure his fear of death. An aspiring chef realizes that butter and soul are the key ingredients to win a cooking competition that could win him the money to save his mother’s life.

Welcome to Hungry Hearts Row, where the answers to most of life’s hard questions are kneaded, rolled, baked. Where a typical greeting is, “Have you had anything to eat?” Where magic and food and love are sometimes one and the same.

Told in interconnected short stories, Hungry Hearts explores the many meanings food can take on beyond mere nourishment. It can symbolize love and despair, family and culture, belonging and home.

I adore books featuring food. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hungry will we get while we’re reading Hungry Hearts?

I'm hoping for a 10! My mouth was definitely watering every time I edited the stories in this collection, and I would inevitably curse at myself that I couldn't sample the dishes I was reading about. So I'd recommend going out to eat right after you've finished Hungry Hearts -- or better yet, read it while you're eating!

What brought you and Elsie Chapman together for this project?

Twitter, actually! Elsie and I started chatting on Twitter years ago, and our friendship has grown via social media and emails. Back in 2017, I was tweeting about The Joy Luck Club and how I'd love to read more books that include its themes -- food, culture, family, and the tension between immigrant parents and their first-generation children. Elsie contacted me shortly thereafter to see if I'd be interested in co-editing an anthology around these ideas, and I said OF COURSE!

We spent about a month and a half refining the concept, drafting the proposal, and revising it with our agents before we went on submission. Much to our surprise and delight, the book sold quickly -- which was both wonderful and a tad stressful because I was nine months pregnant at the time! I believe we received the offer from Simon Pulse right before I delivered my son, and then we accepted it when he was about a week old.

Have you edited an anthology before? What are some of the challenges and rewards?

This is my very first time editing an anthology! Thankfully, Elsie has done this before (she co-edited the fabulous A Thousand Beginnings and Endings with Ellen Oh) and so she helped me navigate the learning curve. I also got wonderful advice from my friend Jessica Spotswood who has edited multiple anthologies, like Toil & Trouble and A Tyranny of Petticoats, which I contributed a short to.

My main challenge was dealing with taxes -- I hate paperwork and crunching numbers so no surprise there! I'd recommend consulting with an accountant if you're putting together an anthology since the taxes can get a bit complicated. But aside from that, Hungry Hearts was truly a joy from start to finish. I adored working with such talented writers, and I also loved working with Elsie and our editor Jen to shape the anthology as a whole. Usually writing a book is a very isolating process for me, and so it was refreshing to work on a project that required a lot of collaboration.

Is there a specific food you associate with family and/or love?

Oh, definitely! When I was growing up, my family would visit my paternal grandmother on Sunday evenings (we call her Nai-nai) and she'd make us dinner. My favorite dish of hers has always been her lion's head meatballs. I have no idea why they're called that -- and they're made out of pork, not lion, haha -- but it's a Shanghai dish and that's where my grandma grew up.

My Nai-nai's meatballs were always moist and perfectly seasoned, and she'd simmer them over a bed of Napa cabbage leaves and rice noodles that would soak up the yummy flavors. We'd serve everything over hot rice, and just thinking about it makes my mouth water and brings me back to my grandma's little apartment. Nainai is now 96 and doesn't cook anymore, and one of my biggest regrets is not asking her to teach me how to make those meatballs. I've made a couple recipes I found online, but they just aren't the same. But I'll keep trying!

Beyond this tempting collection, are there other young adult books you would recommend for our readers?

I've been reading a lot of adult fiction and non-fiction recently so I'm sadly behind on YA, but I'm really looking forward to checking out With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo because it's about an aspiring chef and I love stories about food. I'm also excited to read Maurene Goo's Somewhere Only We Know because it sounds like a delightful rom-com of a novel -- and it's set in Hong Kong! I'm hoping there's a scene or two that features dimsum because I live for dimsum. (Turnip cakes might sound bleh, but they are SO GOOD and I could eat a plate of them right now!)

If you’re allowed to tell us, what other projects are you working on?

Hungry Hearts is my first stab at contemporary literature and so it's a bit of a departure from my novels, which have all been historical fiction. My next book is a Cold War alternate history that's set in Washington, D.C. and that features super advanced robots. No title yet, but it should come out in 2020 from Scholastic!

This last question is fairly random and has nothing to do with the book, but on your blog I saw a photo of you holding a sloth. How did that come about? Sloths are amazingly adorable.

Aw, I'm so happy you asked! I love sloths, and back in 2012 I was lucky to spend a week volunteering at a sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica, which took care of orphaned and injured sloths. I spent my time there cleaning out the sloth enclosures, prepping food for them (chopping up carrots and sweet potatoes and the like), and playing with the babies (best job ever!). My favorite sloth was a little guy named Linus who was super sleepy and just wanted to be held all the time. I wish I could've taken him home.

We always appreciate hearing from book creators and look forward to reading Hungry Hearts now that it's out in the world.

Caroline Tung Richmond is the award-winning author of The Only Thing to Fear, The Darkest Hour, and Live In Infamy; and the co-editor of Hungry Hearts. She's also the Program Director of We Need Diverse Books, a non-profit that promotes diversity in children's literature. Caroline lives with her family in Frederick, MD.

#caroline tung richmond #Hungry Hearts: 13 Tales of Food and Love #YALit

27 notes · View notes

the-beastslayers-queen · 5 years

Text

A Dangerous Game: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is here! Tagging: @queenofthearchitect @biforbecky2belts @writtingrose @writtingrose and @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk If you want to be tagged for this story, hit my inbox. Enjoy!

I was lounging with Finn in his house, having just came back from going with Drew to get my ring. I hated looking at the damn thing. The diamond was huge and prominent on my finger. It was like a giant beacon that screamed I belonged to him, that he owed me.

“I hate this whole damn thing already,” I groaned as I forced my gaze away from my ring, “I don’t like Drew. I don’t like that I had to be the one to make this damn alliance. Why couldn’t it be you that got married into Clan McIntyre I got married into The Authority?”

“Stop being such a child, Catie,” Finn rolled his eyes at me, “The deal has been made and yer going to marry Drew. He’s also comin’ by later to take you out for the evenin’ to a nice dinner. I’m joining the dinner with Bayley. So for the sake of all parties involved, please behave and just get to know the guy.”

“I’m going to back to my place and pick out my outfit for the dinner,” I got up from my seat and waltzed over to Finn and kissed his cheek, “I’ll see you when you come to pick me up for dinner.”

As I walked out, I pulled out my phone and texted Seth. Since I had several hours before the dinner, I was going to be able to spend some time with him.

Cat: Hey Seth, you want to catch up for some coffee? I have a dinner later tonight and I need vent about how much I hate it.

Seth: Yeah sure! I’ll meet you there.

I smiled as I climbed into my car, looking up from my phone to find Gallows looking at me from the driver’s seat. He knew I was up to something.

“Alright I know you’re up to something,” Gallows shook his head as a smile graced his face, “Do you want me to drop you off where you’re going or do you want to go to your place so you can drive yourself with your personal car?”

“You can drop me off at my favorite coffee shop,” I told him, “I’ll get a ride back to my apartment.”

“Alright,” Gallows sighed, “If Finn finds out I left you alone in the open, it’s on you.”

“I’m armed,” I told him, “I’ll be fine. If I get into a snag, I’ll call you or Anderson. Hell I bet Tama or AJ would be willing to pick me up.”

Once I arrived at the coffee shop, I looked around to find Seth in a secluded corner, working away on his laptop. I smiled and walked over to him and took a seat across from him. I went into my purse and set up my iPad to get to work on my own coding project.

“Thank you for meeting with me,” I greeted him as he looked up and smiled at me, “What are you working on?”

“I’m doing diagnostics on Cerberus,” he replied, “I’m trying to find flaws in it so I can strengthen it. When you asked to meet up, I was dealing with someone trying to hack into the network I use this to defend it.”

“Do you want me to help you test it,” I asked him, “I’m pretty good at hacking into servers. I could see if I can beat your program so you can find the flaw.”

“Go for it,” Seth smirked, “I doubt you’ll be able to beat it, but I’ll humor you.”

So I got to work finding the network Seth had his computer connected to and I booted up my invasive program. I cracked my fingers before I started writing in the command code lines to start attacking his program. I had my eyes darting between my screen and Seth, gauging his reactions as I was trying to crack his program. Unfortunately, my program was struggling to crack into his defenses.

But I finally got it. As soon as I did, I set up a picture to display on his screen of a puppy that had destroyed a couch cushion. I smirked and leaned back in my chair, a smug expression on my face as I saw Seth’s jaw drop.

“Boom,” I smirked, “I win.”

“You got lucky,” he shook his head, “But I think I know where the flaw is.”

“Glad I could help,” I replied, “Maybe when you get your program perfected, you could help me create my own. I could use something like yours to protect the servers I work with.”

Seth put his laptop away and I did the same with my iPad. That was when he noticed my ring on my finger.

“Damn,” he grabbed my hand and inspected my ring, “You’re fiancé must be loaded. That is one hell of a diamond on your finger.”

“Yeah tell me about it,” I replied with a sigh and eye roll, “It’s not my taste at all. It’s too damn gaudy and draws why too much attention.”

“Why not just not wear except around him,” Seth replied, “Then you don’t have to look at it every day.”

“You know what,” I decided to slip my ring off and stuffed it into my purse, “I’m not wearing that ugly ring until I have to tonight.”

“Now that we are done with that ring of yours,” Seth got up and walked over to stand beside me, “What would you like to drink? My treat.”

I was sitting with Finn and Bayley at the restaurant, waiting for Drew to arrive. I had my ring on again, as much as I hated the damn thing I had to wear it. If I didn’t, I’m sure Drew would be pissed at me not to mention Finn being mad at me.

“Drew should be here soon,” Finn said as he put his phone away, “Drew got held up with some business.”

“Yet we managed to show up on time and put our business aside for the sake of being polite to him,” I grumbled, “There are so many better places I’d rather be than this dinner.”

“Catriona,” Finn scolded me, “T’at was uncalled for.”

“She didn’t get a choice with her match,” Bayley defended me, “If I was in her place I would react the same way.”

We dropped the conversation as Drew walked into the restaurant and came to greet Finn. After the two of them shook hands, Drew came over to me and kissed my cheek and held onto my shoulders before he took his seat beside me.

“Ya look lovely this evening, Cat,” Drew smiled as he took hold of my hand. I could feel my skin crawl from his forced charm over me. He was trying so hard to woo me into this whole marriage I wanted nothing to do with. I was not attracted to him like I was with Seth.

“I had to make a good impression for you tonight,” I replied with fake pleasantry, “After all you’ll be married to me someday. I have to show you I’ll be a good wife for you.”

“Don’t worry about impressing me,” he replied, “I think yer just fine the way ya are.”

I had to contain my gagging at him laying on the charm. I wanted to run away so badly that I couldn’t describe it.

“So Drew,” Finn took charge of the conversation, “When you and Cat get married, is she going to work for ya or continue working with me?”

“She can continue working for Bálor Club,” he replied as the server came around to pour us all some wine, “I know how important she is to your organization and I don’t want ta cause your group to fold from losing her.”

“Yeah I don’t know how well Finn would run the Club without me,” I smirked, “I’m the Bálor with all the brains and he’s got the brawn and charm.”

“Cat,” Finn warned, “I’m just as smart as ya. I just don’t know how to code and hack into systems like you can.”

The following week from the dinner, Finn and I were going to a meeting with the Authority on their turf. Finn and I were to meet with the higher-ups of the Authority so Finn could announce he and Bayley were going to simply date instead of taking the other two daughters he was offered. I could see how happy Finn has been with Bayley since she has been around Finn every day. If only I could be as happy as Finn was with Bayley while I was with Drew, but I just don’t feel anything for him.

As we entered the night club, Evolution, we made a b-line for the VIP section way off in the club to meet with Hunter and his group. I was nervous for this meeting since Finn and I were only being guarded by Becky and Jordan, which meant being so deep in the Authority’s territory was risky for us if things went south.

“I have a bad feeling about this Finn,” I whispered as we sat down in the VIP booth.

“Just relax,” Finn reassured me, “If t’ings go south, we’ll dip out before bullets fly.”

As we waited for Hunter to come meet with us, I was fiddling with my ring to distract myself. When Hunter came into view, I saw his guards, The Shield following behind him and sure enough there was Seth. Seth and I locked eyes and I saw his eyes go wide at seeing me. His face twisted into one of anger and stormed off instead of following Hunter over to us.

“Finn can you handle this alone,” I asked him, wanting to go talk to Seth.

“Yeah I can handle this I think,” he replied, “Stay close to the club in case I need ya for anything. And please keep your phone on and free.”

“Will do,” with that I took off to find Seth.

When I finally found Seth, he was pacing in the alley behind the club. He looked really pissed and I’m not sure if he was mad at himself or me.

“Seth,” I spoke up, making my presence known, “Come on talk to me damn it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a part of Bálor Club,” he glared at me, “What’s your real name, Cat? Or do you not trust me enough to tell me.”

“I’m Cat Bálor,” I answered him, “I didn’t tell you because I, for once, wanted to just be Cat. I wanted to be free of obligations to my brother and our gang. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Well sorry doesn’t cut it,” he slammed his fist into the back door of the club in anger, “Cat, you and I have been flirting with each other, and you’ve been leading me on. You’re engaged to McIntyre for fucks sake! You are nothing but a damn tease.”

“I am not a tease,” I protested, “I’ve been flirting and talking to you because I enjoy being around you. I don’t want to marry McIntyre. I’m being set up.”

“Well you should keep your engagement,” Seth looked at me, devoid of all feelings towards me, “Because I am not talking to you anymore. Not after you keeping your allegiance to Bálor Club from me.”

“Seth,” I breathed, trying to not cry, “Don’t do this, please.”

“Well you blew it, Cat,” Seth walked off, “Don’t bother texting me anymore. And if you hack into any of my systems, I will make sure to fry your gear with an EMP that you can’t recover from.”

I fell to my knees as Seth stormed off. I felt my tears streaking down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe that I blew everything from keeping my last name from Seth. He was so open with me, so trusting. Yet, I couldn’t trust him with knowing the full me. I guess I deserved him being mad at me. But I didn’t think I would be this crushed in losing Seth. Maybe I was falling for him. Oh shit.

I am falling for him. I’m going to get in so much trouble because of this. I love Seth, not Drew. I can’t bring myself to love Drew. I could never love Drew because I was smitten with Seth.

I had to let this go for now and go back to Finn. I dried my tears and tried to regain my composure. Once I was good, I went back inside and took my place next to Finn. I tuned out the meeting as I tried to calm the chaos in my mind at the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to have my escape from my engagement now that Seth won’t talk to me anymore.

Once the meeting was over, I got my phone out and texted Anderson. I then looked over to Finn, Jordan, and Becky.

“I’m getting Anderson and Gallows to give me a ride over to Coup De Grace,” I told them, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the Club meeting.”

“Be careful alright Cat,” Finn pulled me into a hug, “And are you alright? Your eyes look red and puffy.”

“I’m fine,” I told him, “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Gallows and Anderson pulled up and we went to Coup De Grace. I sat silently in the car as we drove, which tipped off Anderson that something was wrong.

“Alright,” Anderson turned around in his seat to look at me, “What’s got you so down, Catie?”

“Karl please don’t ask,” I replied, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah something is wrong if you if you’re not calling me Anderson,” he pushed it.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped at him.

Anderson dropped it and the rest of the ride was quiet. When I got to Coup De Grace, I told Gallows and Anderson I’d bum for a ride from Tama and sent them off. I went inside and saw that Tama was sitting at the bar, going over the supply inventory to work on making orders for more supplies for the bar. I walked over quietly and took a seat on the stool next to him. I let out a heavy sigh before I folded my arms on the bar and laid my head down on them.

“Rough day,” Tama asked without looking up from his work.

“I might have fucked up my chances at getting out of marrying Drew,” I replied as I tried to fight my tears again.

“Let me guess,” Tama put his work aside to look at me, “You didn’t tell Seth who you were and he found out on his own. Then everything blew up in your face.”

“You could have been nice about it,” I grumbled as I looked at him, “What do I do to get him back, Tama?”

“Shoot him a text and explain that you were afraid to tell him,” he replied, “If he doesn’t reply or try to reach out to you, then he’s not worth it and has lost the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

“I guess I can try that,” I replied as I pulled out my phone.

Cat: I know I screwed up, Seth. But I need you to know that I was scared about telling you who I was. I guess I thought that if you knew who I was and who I was engaged with, you’d throw me away. But my fears and keeping everything a secret made that happen anyway. If you ever change your mind and want to talk to me again, I’ll be at the Coup De Grace every night. If I don’t see you ever again, I’ll move on and leave you alone.

I sat and stared at my phone, waiting to see if he would at least read my text. After waiting ten minutes and not getting the read receipt, I gave up and put my phone away.

“Alright Tama,” I sighed, “Give me a bottle of your best whiskey. I need to drown my heartbreak.”

“Finn might kill me for letting you drink,” Tama warned, “But I won’t stop you from coping until it gets too intense.”

#seth rollins x oc #seth rollins fic #seth rollins fanfic #seth rollins fanfiction #wwe fic #wwe fanfic #wwe fanfiction #A Dangerous Game

12 notes · View notes

writing-mermaid · 6 years

Text

Lots of time to spend with you

Prompt : Sunday morning in family

Words : 1 638

Author’s note : I wrote that story for @supersoldierslover‘s 3K challenge. And this the moodboard she made of the story.

Warnings : None.

Song of the title : Sunday Morning - Spanky and Our Gang

Masterlist - Series masterlist

Sunday mornings. Days off when none of us have a mission. It doesn’t happen a lot, but when it does, the noisy Tower becomes the quietest place on Earth. I love them, especially when Bucky is here and not on a mission, what doesn’t happen much those last times.

I’m still sleepy when I feel two strong arms wrapping my waist and lips kissing the shell of my ear. “Doll, are you awake ?” “No”, I answer, with a tired little voice. “Yes you are, I know you”, Bucky says, gluing his body to mine, and I can feel his morning boner against my butt. “What do ya want Barnes ?” “I think you know. And I think that with the way your body’s moving, you want it too”, he responds, a sly grin on his lips. And he’s right, my ass is grinding against his bulge. I whisper a small, ‘go on’, and he hooks his fingers on the band of my pajamas’ pants, before sliding it down my legs with my panties and his boxers in almost the same movement. He starts to position himself, my back still to his chest, his metal arm around my waist, keeping me in place, my right arm hooked behind his head, my hand in his hair and at the moment he’s ready to push in, a little voice makes us stop. “Daddy !!! Daddy !!! Mommy !!! Mommy !!!” “Your son’s awake, that mean no sex for you soldier”, I playfully tell him, turning my head to meet his bright blue eyes. “Can’t he wait that we finished it ?” “You know we’ll not have time to.” “Please, just fifteen minutes, he can wait for fifteen minutes ?” “Daddy !!! James hungry !!!” “Okay, okay, I’m going”, Bucky sighs, pulling up his boxers. “But you’ll have to make up to me tonight”, he adds, leaning to kiss my lips before going out of our bedroom to reach our son’s one. “Count on me.” I pull my pajamas up my thighs and stretch my muscles. “Daddy !!! Daddy !!!”, I hear James saying probably when Bucky passes his door. “Hey pal”, Bucky answers him, “did you sleep well ?” I hear James babbling an incomprehensible amount of words and Bucky chuckles at this. He’s barely eighteen months and except for a few words he manages to properly say, the rest is still a babble. He now walks towards the whole Tower, well walk like more runs sometimes, James is a real bundle of energy, looking everywhere, even where he’s not allowed like in Tony’s labs, once, we even found him in the gym, he managed to take the elevator and as someone called the lift downstairs and didn’t see him pass the doors and ran towards the mats. Everyone in the Tower loves him when I would have thought that he would annoy the mighty heroes living here. After a few minutes, I hear the stove being turned on and the sound of the whisk in a bowl. I raise from the bed and take a look down at my belly, trying to push away a very sad memory. I feel better now, but I still think of it sometimes. I start to walk my way to the kitchen, where I find my son sitting in his highchair, chocolate all around his little pink mouth and my husband in front of a stove, his back to me, cooking pancakes. I peck James’ cheek and then goes to Bucky, wrap my arms around his middle and put down a kiss on his shoulder. “Look who’s here baby !”, he says, partially turning away, passing his left arm around me to pull me to him, grinning at James. “Mommy !!! Mommy !!!”, he happily shouts, clapping his hands full of the chocolate his father gave him. “Take a seat sweetheart, breakfast is coming.” I take the stool next to James, looking at him eating greedily the pancakes Bucky put in his plate. I look outside by the window at the shy sun shining on New York. “So what are we doing today ?”, I ask Bucky, referring to our Sunday usual program when he’s here. “Where are we going ?” “Well, even if it’s fall, it’s sunny and it’s not that cold, I was thinking that we could go to Coney Island. We can go to the Wonder Wheel, go to the aquarium, walk on the beach and maybe have a picnic there. What do you think ?”, he asks, putting a plate with pancakes in front of me, another one in front of the stool he’s gonna sit on, before preparing two mugs of hot cocoa, as he always does on our Sunday mornings. “That sound good for me. What do you think James, are you ready to discover a place that your dad used to go when he was a kid ?” James simply clap his hands, giggling softy, his laugh reasoning in the kitchen. Each day I see my son’s progress in learning and I still marvel at it. James discovering the Tower, James discovering music, images, animals, other human beings… After that copious breakfast, I scoop my tiny boy in my arms, looking at his face and hair full of chocolate, his piercing blue eyes, his father’s eyes, looking through me. “Let’s give you a bath, and then we will go.” I pick James up from his chair and go to the bathroom while Bucky is cleaning the dishes. James quietly lets me wash his hair and his little body, giggling when I dry his soft mop of brown hair. I dress him with a little pair of black jeans and a cute little light blue checked shirt. Barely a few seconds later, his father appears dressed the same way, drying his long hair with a towel. “Did you do it on purpose ?”, he asks, seeing our little boy sitting on the couch in front of some cartoons he likes. “Would you believe me if I say no ?” “I don’t think so”, he smiles at me. “I’m gonna take a shower and then, we can leave.” Something like fifteen minutes later, I go out of the bathroom, wearing a black and grey dress, with a pair of black tights. Bucky is sitting in the couch, James on his lap, and they both are glued to the TV screen airing Paw Patrol, a cartoon that James likes. From time to time, he points it and shouts 'dog, dog’ and sometimes, I wonder if my baby doesn’t feel alone, only surrounded by adults and that maybe, he needs company, a puppy or maybe a kitten. “You’re ready to go, doll ?”, Bucky asks me, looking up from the TV. “Yep, we can leave whenever you want.” “So let's put our shoes and coats and let’s go”, he smiles at me, lifting James from his legs and standing up. No sooner said than done, we were outside of the quiet Tower, on our way to the nearest subway station, James in his stroller, his Winter Soldier bear in his arms, looking around him still amazed by the world around him. In the subway, Bucky and I sit hand in hand, James in front of us in his buggy, babbling to his precious and favorite bear. When we finally reach Coney Island, the weather is still beautiful and the temperatures are as good as in summer. James looks around him again, pointing and screaming at what he sees, making us laugh. We join the line to the aquarium, waiting for our turn to buy tickets, sorta relieved that no one recognize us and that maybe, we can have a quiet family Sunday, just the three of us. After a little time in his stroller, James starts to growl, wanting to walk, Bucky puts him on the floor, while I’m still pushing the stroller, watching my son trying to pull his father to one of the aquarium, running on his tinny chubby legs. He puts both his hands on the glass, and raises his little head to watch above him the blue water and the lights inside of it, illuminating the different fishes in the tank. I take my phone out of my pocket and take a picture of Bucky, crouching next to James, showing him the animals. “Look baby, that’s a fish, you see, and there is another one, oh and there, there’s a turtle. You see.” James’ eyes are wide open, looking at all the colorful fishes, and animals that he didn’t know until today. “Fish, fish !!”, he says, happily showing what he just learned, and clapping like each time he learns something new. We continue our walk, James walking hand in hand with Bucky or with me, one of us taking pictures of our perfect day away from all the stress the SHIELD or The Avengers are, we are just a family, a happy random family on that day, seeing the shows, the lives from different places, James falling in love with otters and penguins, at whom he shouted 'birds’. Before we leave, we pass by the shop, James looks at everything, and we buy him an adorable t-shirt with a baby penguin printed on and a soft otter plush toy. “Mama, James hungry”, he says, very serious, turning his little face to me. “We’re going to eat little man, don’t you worry”, his father answers him. We reach the outside of the aquarium, walking towards the food’s cabins, choosing food from different ones, buying some fresh drinks, and then, we go to the beach, unfold a blanket and the three of us settle on it, looking at the sea and eating the delicious food we bought. If this is happiness, I want it forever.

44 notes · View notes