#the whole scene is just yeah. really lovely in a melancholy way

[bisexualamy]

To be fair, I cannot claim that I love the moon as much as all my pals and ancestors and peers. I maybe do not love the moon as much as other poets, who seem to love the moon for what it is capable of doing to the waters, or how it seduces the best or worst out of an astrological sign. I don’t know much about astrology, but I do like the idea of astrology for what it brings out in my most creative and magically inclined friends. Elissa, leaning eagerly over a table to ask me if I know the exact hour and minute of my birth, so that we might do my natal chart and finally get down to the issue of what’s going on with all my emotional rattling about. Madison, scrolling furiously through her phone over a dinner to see what phase the moon is in, or what planets are twirling ever more manically out of whack, so that she might explain to me why all the furniture in my heart’s most precious corners has been overturned. Still, I can’t say I’m much into what it all means, just that it means something. That we were all born under a different moon and a different sign. And I believe in it, I think. I have taken to waving a dismissive hand and telling a friend, “That’s such a Virgo thing to say,” even when I’m not entirely sure what I mean. And no one has corrected me yet, so either I’m right or I have surrounded myself with immensely kind people, which is probably a very Scorpio thing to say.

— Hanif Abdurraqib, “Nine Considerations of Black People in Space” from A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance

[professorspork]

So with sdau wrapped up, I have to ask - were there any scenes you were really excited about that got left on the cutting room floor? It seems like there were a lot of different ways you could've taken a lot of different things

hmmm. whole scenes that just got cut wholesale? not really. i think the material that didn't make it into the final fic falls into two categories: (1) ideas for scenes that I thought would be good but never found a place for and thus never really developed past the concept stage, and (2) false starts where my first attempt at a scene didn't work, and I needed to move it in a new direction.

I'm going to keep mum about that first category, because if I do end up writing a companion story that's going to be where all those scenes end up

As for the second type... the vast, vast majority of them all come from Home, the final true chapter, which I struggled with a TON.

Home is when everything resolves and/or pays off and/or comes full circle, and I put a really high burden on myself to execute that in a way I was happy with. a lot of my first attempts ended up either coming off preachy or going nowhere or derailing/changing the subject in a way i didn't want

In my original conception, the reunion with Emerald was supposed to happen at the club-- Emerald was going to hit on Yang during a brief moment Blake had left her unattended, and the awkwardness was going to ensue from there-- but I never even got to that part of it, because I couldn't find a way into the scene that I liked. nothing established the right mood or put the characters in the correct headspace or seemed like the right point in the story. giving myself permission to let go of the original idea and put it at the library instead solved all of that

And then the ending was just... a real challenge for me. at one point, the culmination of Yang's invite for Blake to move in with her and Blake's resolution to Do It Scared was centered on Blake's decision to start therapy. I wrote SEVERAL versions of a scene of Blake talking to Joanna about everything, and broke and re-broke the timing of it because I felt that the only realistic option in terms of therapist-finding would leave Blake having to get through the holidays before having that session. I think there was some good stuff in the things I tried, but it felt like an 11th hour complication rather than the solution/resolution I wanted it to be; I also struggled with it feeling didactic or prescriptive in How Problems Are Solved in a way that didn't seem in line with the story's themes. so ultimately, the things that I felt were most important in the Joanna session ended up coming up in the talk with Yang at Beacon, or in Blake's decision-to keep-Shroud scene (which in and of itself had several versions, most far more melodramatic and melancholy than I wanted or what was published). As a result, the timeline of that closing section had to be altered considerably several times.

so yeah. I loved flying this plane, but landing it was a bitch lmao

[salarta]

I Saw The TV Glow Thoughts

So I saw the movie, and I wanna talk about several things within it. I'm gonna put it under a cut because spoilers are involved.

I thought it was a great movie, though I don't think it'll have the same impact on streaming.

The whole scene of Mr Melancholy speaking to Owen is a prime example. It feels very encompassing when it's on a huge screen taking up your attention, vs on a smaller screen when you can easily just look at your phone or get distracted. I LOVED the effect on his face. But yeah, "you won't even know you're dying" hits hard.

By the end, it very much feels like one of those popular 90s episodes where the main characters are tormented by a monster of the week that tries to convince them their actual reality is pure fiction and they're just "crazy." Except, in this case the movie all takes place from the perspective of the characters inside the fake reality.

I've seen mostly comparisons between Pink Opaque and BtVS. I can see that, both due to the director's comments and certain elements. But honestly, I feel Charmed is a better comparison point. The Pink Opaque focuses on two young girls who use the astral plane to communicate, and involves fighting demons, both of which do apply to both shows. But it's the implied sisterhood aspect, paired with the astral plane, that feels very Charmed in nature. The power of the pink opaque feels very much like it fits power of three.

More importantly, Owen's dad refers to Pink Opaque as a "show for girls." That attitude more closely mirrors Charmed because of its protagonists all being female, and very strong girl power emphasis of the show.

Then there's the fact Pink Opaque comes on during a "young adult" block even though it's talked about as being "for kids," yet the show comes on too late for kids to actually watch. And somehow lasts 5 seasons like that. That was the first indication to me something wasn't quite right.

I think just how different Pink Opaque is on streaming makes very clear that Owen's in the midnight realm. Aside from simply how cheesy it is by that point, if it was really that cheesy originally, why would it be on at 10:30 PM instead of during the day like with Power Rangers. The Mr Melancholy game at the arcade goes further into this matter by suddenly making it more "childish."

Now, within this whole framework, with Pink Opaque being the real world and Owen being one of its characters, Owen's midnight realm circumstances work perfectly both to keep the character trapped in the realm and to show division with Maddy. Maddy's two years older and a white lesbian, while Owen's trapped in the realm presenting as a black man. You get the effect of this on their relationship when Maddy starts out calling him a "baby" for being two years younger than her, and later with Maddy feeling she needed to make clear she's a lesbian.

Along with this, it helps get across to the audience how difficult it can be to "escape" the pressures of masculinity. How Owen feels the need to sneak around with "girly" interests and connections. Never considers asking to stay over at Maddy's. Also Owen cleaning off the pink ghost drawn on his neck. We know he loves the show, so that decision must come from fear of public stigma if people saw it on him. It's very much a "I'm wiping away this power of mine, this thing that gives me life, from public view so I can fit in" case.

Fred Durst is also someone I would not have expected starring in this. Yet he was a perfect choice for the character he played. He's one of several people who had a pop culture masculine image out there in the 90s, so it fits for Owen to have that affecting him.

Oh, and I very much saw the AYAOTD reference for what it was.

Wrapping up, I can understand the point of the ending after seeing commentary by the director. It's a very valuable ending and I certainly wouldn't say it should "change" in any way from the director's vision. However, I will say that I didn't get the impression the director intended while viewing. "This is gonna be a process Owen needs to go through, it's gonna take time" is something that makes sense once explained. Taken as-is, it ended up feeling like Owen saw the truth but then decided to run away from it again, like Owen has no hope of breaking free of the midnight realm. It felt like a very "if that's not enough for Owen to change, nothing will make it happen" situation.

That's all I have at the moment. Again, good movie!

[glassprism]

Hiii, the Busan POTO run has just ended. Do you have any thoughts/reviews on the Korean cast yet? How about the Chinese cast? Thanks your blog is amazing.

Sure, why not, I was saving these for something else, but I can give a quick review of the cast.

For Korea, I have not viewed Kim Ju-taek because I'm hoping for video of him somewhere down the line. Similarly, I have not seen Choi Jae-rim because he hadn't even started yet. Finally, most of the footage I saw was from some of the first performances by the cast, so just keep in mind that there's lots of room for them to grow and improve. All right, here we go.

Cho Seung-woo - Unique! His voice was a bit different from what I expected: a little harsher and rougher (thicker?) than what I'm used to, but still powerful. I also thought he was less of the commanding, seductive Phantom and more of a pathetic, unhinged one, and definitely came off as an older Phantom who had gone through a lot in his past experiences. For example, his 'Music of the Night' was a little more aloof than other actors, but he was very good at sounding weepy and pitiable when the scene called for it. He had a great moment too in the 'Final Lair' kiss where he gently removed Christine's hand from touching his face before slowly backing away. Finally, I don't know if he's short or his particular Christine was tall, but it was really interesting to see a Phantom and Christine that were basically the same height (I think she blocked his entire face during the "Floating, falling" blocking, ha).

Jeon Dong-seok - Incredible, possibly my favorite of the Korean Phantoms right now. He was definitely more conventional in his acting and vocals than Cho Seung-woo, but at the same time, it was a splendid performance. He really embodied the commanding, sensual, alluring air of the Phantom, helped by his powerful voice. His focus was always on Christine, even when he was being scary (and yeah, he definitely leans more towards being the angry, raging Phantom when things don't go his way). Had some neat touches already, like bowing to Christine before she starts vocalizing in the title song and wiping a tear off her face in the 'Final Lair'. It was also interesting for me to compare him to his performance in Yeston and Kopit's Phantom, where it's basically night and day: he's a hilariously awkward yet lovably dorky Phantom there, and an absolutely frightening (though still darkly attractive) Phantom in ALW.

Song Eun-hye - Of the Christines, she was the sweet and innocent one of the two, lots of big, scared eyes, pitying expressions, and tearful gazes. Her voice was lovely (I think all the Christines I'm going to review here had very pretty but also very similar voices, tending towards light and classical), and I think she played Christine with a sort of wistful, melancholy feeling, like she was perpetually grieving the loss of her father, and that she only feels real joy when she sings. Her relationship with the Phantom, accordingly, also feels more creative and spiritual than romantic. I saw her with Cho Seung-woo, who also comes off as an older Phantom anyway, so I think that accentuated that aspect of her performance.

Son Ji-soo - I liked both Korean Christines, but if I had to pick, I enjoyed Son Ji-soo slightly more; I think she showed a lot more growth and was also much more reactive towards her co-actors (one thing about Song Eun-hye is I started to feel like she only had one or two facial expressions the whole time). She definitely leans more towards the feisty Christine type, but still with a lighthearted, youthful spirit; similarly (and maybe it's because I watched her with Jeon Dong-seok, who comes off as a younger Phantom), I did think she was more "into" the Phantom as a romantic option.

Lastly, for Song Won-geun and Hwang Gun-ha, I thought they were both very nice Raouls (they had a sweet moment where they rested a hand on Christine's cheek during 'All I Ask of You') but didn't entirely stand out to me. (Which is going to be a theme with the Raouls in this quickie review.) They weren't bad, they were just... decent. Hopefully some more time in the show will make them more memorable!

All right, that's most of the trio for Korea done. (Also, so nice to see the original back, with stuff like the Golden Angel, the doubles, and the non-stupid version of 'Point of No Return'.) Now then...

So before I get to China, some more caveats. First, no thoughts on Ma Jia because he just got added to the production. Second, most of the videos I have were a bit distantly shot, so I was relying more on vocals than acting for a lot of it, which is why I'm just going to clump the roles together; I don't really have enough to say to justify a whole paragraph for each. Third, this was the first stop of what's going to be a pretty long tour, so again, lots of room to improve. Having said all that, here's some quick thoughts.

Starting from the people I have the least to say about: the Raouls. Yeah, I don't remember much of any of them, heh. Similar to the Korean Raouls, they were fine! They did the role. I think I slightly preferred Li Chenxi, he seemed the most passionate, and I remember Ma Tianlong standing out a bit because his voice seemed a bit deeper? And nothing for Zhao Chaofan, but with all of them, hopefully that's just something that will improve with time.

My favorite of the Chinese Phantoms was definitely Ayanga; he just did the most in terms of emoting with the role and throwing his energy into the character, and sang 'Music of the Night' quite interestingly (like, he put some really long inflections or drawn out noises on them). Unfortunately, neither He Liangchen nor Liu Lingfei stood out much, and I honestly thought they were both pretty boring up until the 'Final Lair', where they were able to bring more emotion. I think He Liangchen came off a little angrier while Liu Lingfei came off a little more insane, but I might be getting that switched, ha.

Finally, the Christines were all nice, sweet, clear voices, and there was some variety in their performances. For Yang Chenxiuyi, she felt more like an "Act I" Christine in that she was more emotive in Act I, and sold the innocent, naive aspect of her character, whereas in Act II, I thought she was less interesting. Pan Hangwei was the complete opposite, I thought she was pretty dull in Act I, but in Act II she really showed the fear, the passion, and the strength to Christine (vocally, at any rate). Also, she threw her score in 'Notes II' so hard it flew under the managers' table, so kudos to her for that. And finally, Lin Shao (my favorite) was just great in both acts, consistently emotional and bringing forth the sweetness of Christine in Act I, her fascination with the Phantom, then later her desperation, her growth, and her maturity as she faces him in the 'Final Lair'.

So there you have it. Also, can I say that it's so weird to hear Phantom in a language other than English and be able to understand parts of it? Like, I am not used to this. Is this what other people have? How do y'all deal with it...

[shesinshambles]

Once again I have crawled out of my chronic pain cave to deliver you a short Christmassy, fluffy and smutty Mary Goore fic that nobody asked for. aAo3 here 18+ under the cut.

“It’s not going to fit, Mary! It’s too tall.”

“Ye of little faith!” Mary shouted, wielding a rusty handsaw he got from who knows where. “Just need to trim the stump off a bit babe, that’s all.” You quirked a skeptical brow their way as you opened the trunk of ornaments, keeping a close eye on Mary in the event you’d need to swoop in after he sawed off a few fingers. You’d rather avoid a visit to the er tonight. But in spite of the looming danger of your partner and a sharp blade, you’re finding the evening quite cozy. The light was low in your living room, the haze of snow passing over the streetlamps outside making everything softer, and rather contrarian to the ratty Santa hat that had definitely seen better days atop Mary’s head, there was metal music playing softly in the background.

It was something you never expected. But Mary Goore loved Christmas. Absolutely adored it in fact. And they had come barrelling into your tiny one-bedroom flat after a shift at the bar, hauling a massive spruce tree over their shoulder, grunting and wheezing. And no matter what he said, that tree wasn’t going to fit. It was at least nine feet tall. Mary fitted the stand onto the trimmed stump and began pushing the tree upright.

“Careful,”

“It’s fine, Doll,” Mary wheezed, shooting you a crooked smile. “See, just needed a trim.” You cringed as you looked up. The top of the tree was practically bent in half against the ceiling.

“Riiiight. I think it might need a full haircut then.” Mary furrowed their brow in question and following your line of sight, looked up to the top of the tree.

“Jesus Fuck!”

“Told you it wouldn’t fit,” you muttered under your breath, pulling out the boxes of string lights from the trunk and humming softly. You smiled to yourself as Mary grumbled and groaned, staring up at the top of the tree all sour-faced.

“What if I took off another inch?”

“You can’t,” you replied matter-of-factly. “Not from the stump at least. You won’t be able to get it in the stand.” Your partner deflated, shoulders sagging, and head hung low. And you couldn’t help but giggle. It was the beat-up Santa hat; it just added perfectly to the melancholy of the whole scene. Mary shot you a scowl as he stomped off to grab a foot stool and climb up to the top of the tree.

“Stupid, fuckin’ ceiling,” he muttered, sawing off a good foot from the top. You winced a little, watching as Mary’s teeth clenched in annoyance. “How does it look now?” The honest answer was that it looked like a big ol’ rectangle, taking up a solid quarter of the living room, but you just canted your head side to side and nodded.

“Well, we’ll be able to get the star on top now,” you offered, wrapping your arms around their waist and resting your chin on their shoulder as they hopped off the stool and cursed under their breath. “It’ll be okay Mare, once we get the ornaments and lights on.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, running a hand over his head and knocking the ratty hat off.

“Come on Goore, the tree’s not gonna decorate itself!” Mary grumbled an unintelligible response. “Good!” you kissed his cheek and skipped over to the trunk, unravelling the string lights. If Mary was going to be a bitter lemon the rest of the night you would have to lay the Christmas spirit on thick. “I’ll get the lights set up, why don’t you unbox the ornaments?” You heard a hefty and disgruntled sigh over your shoulder as Mary sulked over to the trunk.

“Sure, Doll.” You rolled your eyes. Sure, the tree looked a right mess, but when did it ever look perfect? At least this year Mary picked one that hadn’t fallen apart when they unfurled it. Really, it wasn’t that bad… You might run out of ornaments though.

You start weaving the lights into the prickly branches. You’d both found out in your first year living together that this was something only you should do, and that Mary ought to stay far away from; you smirk thinking about the tangled mess he’d created and how long it had taken you to unravel the lights. You work quietly for a little while and slowly you can hear Mary perking back up, humming to the background music as he unpacked the trunk and unwrapped some of the fancier ornaments the two of you have collected over the years. And then silence. The rustling of packing paper quiets and all that is left is the white noise of whatever band Mary put on. You think nothing of it but just as you bend down to plug the lights into the outlet you feel a pair of warm hands snake around your hips, and Mary pressing himself into your backside. You huff and bite your lip. Of course.

“Mare, you wanna start decorating?” You feel more than hear Mary hum against you as you straighten up, their hands roaming up to your waist, as they pull you flush against them.

“Orrrr, maybe not? I think there might be something I wanna do more right now?” Your roll your eyes.

“Nuh-uh Goore!” You tease, turning to shove him gently away. “You brought the tree home, you gotta decorate it.” Mary shoots you a toothy grin.

“All work and no play? Where’s your Christmas spirit babe?” He growls, sauntering over to you once more and you giggle as he pulls you against him and nibbles at your ear.

“Maryyyy,” you whine as Mary plants sloppy kisses down the column of your neck. “I’m serious, okay? Let’s finish decorating the tree. I don’t want this stuff to end up lying around.” Mary rolls their eyes, but they soften slightly as he looks down at you, and with a resigned huff, he presses his lips to yours in a chaste kiss,

“Alright Doll,” he murmurs, and for a split second you regret your decision as you watch Mary amble over to the ornaments laid out on the sofa, but no, if you don’t get this done tonight there is a high chance they sit there for another week. And you rather like having couch space. You take your Sunday afternoon naps there, after all. You follow them over to the couch and Mary hands you your favourite ornament. It’s the oldest of the bunch, given to you by your grandmother. It was made of colourful glass, rich purples, blues, and pinks, the front hollow, caving in to reveal a sparkling jagged silver that always caught the light perfectly. “Prettiest bulb for the prettiest girl,” Mary winks, and you roll your eyes, but you’re unable to fight the stupid grin that creeps up on your face and the butterflies fluttering in your gut. Years of dating and Mary still has you acting a fool.

You both fall into a quiet rhythm, working steadily to fill the tree. Occasionally, Mary steps back to point out any gaps where you need an ornament, or asks for your opinion on the tinsel situation. It’s always too much tinsel and you tell Mary to ease up a little. But all throughout their hands are on yours. Fingers lingering as they hand you ornaments, gently caressing your waist as they walk around you; and by the time you finish decorating you’re properly worked up and itching for them. Mary comes to stand behind you as you press the switch to turn on the lights, arms wrapping tightly around you and chin resting atop your head, both admiring your work.

“Not bad, babe,” Mary croons, kissing the crown of your head. And all things considered, it really isn’t that bad. It’s quite pretty actually. The glass bulbs reflect the twinkling lights, enveloping your tiny sitting room in a cozy, warm glow. You sigh softly, leaning back and pressing into Mary’s firm chest.

“It’s pretty.” He hums into your hair and you tilt your head back to look at him. “Hey,” you whisper.

“Hey to you too.” It’s silly but it still earns them a stupid grin. You twist around and wrap your arms around their neck. Mary quirks a brow at you but he has a shit eating grin planted on his lips and his eyes are glittering with lust. They  knew exactly what they were doing. And you couldn’t care less.

“Merry Christmas, Mary.” Mary’s eyes soften and he runs circles into your hip with his thumb.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he replies, and you get up on your tiptoes to give him a languid kiss. Mary returns it eagerly, their tongue running over your lower lip, slipping inside to explore your mouth. You sigh softly into the kiss and press yourself flush against them in hunger.

“Mary,” you keen, hardly audible in the quiet room, the record long having stopped.

“Yes?” He teases, kissing along your jaw, down your neck; you tilt your head back to give him more access to the column of your throat, and Mary does not disappoint, nibbling on your sensitive flesh, making you shiver in delight as a delicious heat pools in your gut. You let out a throaty moan as Mary sinks their teeth into the crook of your neck, not hard enough to draw blood, but it will certainly leave a mark.

“Please Mary” you moan. One arm holds you flush against them while the other roams down your hips, squeezes your backside, and comes round to the front, fingers slipping under the waistband of your pajama bottoms, teasing at the edge of your panties.

“What’s that? I think you need to be more specific, Doll.” Another nip to your throat. You’re practically canting your hips into their fingers now, how could you even be more obvious?

“Fuck me, Mary,” you sigh as Mary laps at the mark. And finally they acquiesce, fingers slipping into your underwear to run up and down your slit, spreading your slick over your swollen clit. You shiver and groan as Mary works you with slow tight circles, deft fingers pushing you closer to the edge with every swipe. You’ve been so worked up for the past half hour or so that it doesn’t take very long for Mary to have you dangling over the precipice, legs shaking from keeping yourself standing, panting with pleasure. Just as you feel yourself about to tumble over the crest, he pulls away, widening his circles or slipping a finger inside. You clench around their fingers hungrily, groaning in a mix of frustration and pleasure as they lick a stripe up the column of your throat to nibble at the sensitive flesh behind your ear. You whine in desperation as Mary pulls their fingers out of you.

“So fucking needy,” he hisses into your ear. “You want me so bad, don’t you baby?”

“Please Mary,” you keen again as he circles your clit, this time in earnest. The arm holding you against him tightens around your waist and finally Mary lets you cum, toes curling and legs going limp as you moan into the crook of their neck. Your head is swimming, limbs limp, completely malleable, and Mary tugs your pajama pants and underwear down in one, guiding you gently down to your knees. You shiver from the aftershocks and the cold of the floor beneath you as you tilt your hips back, resting on your forearms. You hear the distinct clanking of metal as Mary undoes their belt, and soon enough their hands are gripping onto your hips, digging into your supple flesh to pull you flush against him as he pushes himself inside of you in one steady thrust. Your breath punches out in a harsh puff as Mary sets a brutal pace, and throughout the room, all you can hear is flesh slapping against flesh, your desperate and delighted moans and their groans of pleasure. Your head is buzzing; Mary slams into your sweet spot with nearly every thrust, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body and you can’t help but cry out.

“Mary!” Mary’s breath comes in erratic bursts and you can hear him babbling incoherently, his thrusts becoming unsteady, faster.

“Fuck, baby,” They hiss into your ear, leaning over you. “You’re so fucking good. Sooo good.” Your arms shake from their shift in weight and with his final thrusts you collapse underneath him, clenching around them as they kick inside you, your cheek pressed against the floor and Mary slumped over top of you, restless hands roaming over your hips, your waist, down your arms. “Fuuuuck,” Mary groans as he collapses next to you on the floor. You lie there quietly, shivering with sweat-slicked skin as you both catch your breath.

You come down from your high first and before exhaustion kicks in you prop yourself up on your elbow and yank down your fuzzy throw on the couch, throwing it over yourself and Mary. Mary sighs, running a hand over his face and opening his arms in invitation. You smile softly and settle back down, tucking yourself into the crook of their arm, head resting on their chest as they rub soothing circles into your shoulder. You look up to Mary’s face, grinning at him, a warm fuzzy feeling filling your lungs. His green eyes shimmer with flecks of gold in the twinkling lights of the tree, and you bask in the warm glow, the fresh smell of spruce grounding you.

“While this is all very romantic,” you groan, shifting uncomfortably as your hip bone digs into the hardwood floor, “how’s about we at least crawl up on the couch?”

“Mmm,” Mary grumbles, burying their face into your hair.

“Mary..”

“Fiiiine,” they groan, and with an over-exaggerated grunt, Mary hoists himself up, offering his hands to help you up. You accept them gracefully, and you both stumble over to the sofa with the blanket. You sink down into the lumpy couch with a sigh, curling yourself up against Mary, finding a comfy home in the circle of their arms.

“I love you, Mary,” you murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to their cheek, and Mary smiles lazily at you, arm squeezing you a bit tighter as he kisses your hairline.

“Love you too, babe."

[figothynewton]

First listen thoughts of Unreal Unearth!!

Disclaimer: when it comes to his music I am literally incapable of thinking it’s bad all of these reviews are good and I don’t take criticism ps sorry for the long post oml

De Selbys: part 1 STUNNING the fuckin gorgeous Gaeilge vocals at the end???? The tranSITION TO DE SELBY 2 COME ON !!!!!!

First time- SOME PART OF ME MUST HAVE DIED THE FIRST TIME YOU CALLED ME BABY??????????? FUCK!!!!!!! God the rhythm his fucking voice the instrumentals !!!!! So good

Francesca- phenomenal as we already know

I, Carrion- Girl I already knew I was gonna like I, Carrion cause like hello I am a whore for Greek mythology and especially Icarus like sunlight is one of my favorites BUT “if we fall I only pray you don’t fall away from me” I am weeping it is so so beautiful oh my god

Eat your young- as fucking amazing as always

Damage gets done- Brandi Carlile and Hozier’s voices blend beautifully and this song feels like something you’d hear in like a coming age movie when the main character is having her realization that her life is changing for the better like full on perks of being a wallflower car tunnel scene (and yes I fucking love it)

Who we are- are the fucking vocals in that middle part him??? How is he physically capable of doing that???? Holy! Shit!

Son of Nyx- I think the best way to describe this is that my sister sent me the gif of Pinocchio from shrek rising out of the bed cause. Yeah.

All things end- remaining probably my favorite from the eat your young ep

TSFAWC(U)- Y’all. I had to replay the intro of to someone from a warm climate about five times “a joy hard learned in winter was the warming of the bed you’d shake for minutes there and move your legs wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within let your breath heat the air until you’d feel it getting thin” FUCK I need help PLEASE Ohp ok and now I’m crying again wow I almost choked from crying I’m not doing well

Butchered Tongue- girl I’m just gonna not stop crying am I ? it’s still singing here above the ground ??? Screaming crying yelling throwing up

Anything but- ! So fun!! But still so like melancholy like I’d give anything to run away! Clapping reminiscent of almost (sweet music) and it just feels like they were having fun dining the background vocals just so good

Abstract (psychopomp) really be making me fell that post about not being able to understand him cause if he wanted me to know the words he would have enunciated but lord I still love it. upon hearing there’s a part of me I’m afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life and I wish I could go back to not understanding the lyrics that fully made me cry all over again

Unknown/Nth- so the album hasn’t been out long enough for me to decide what my favorite out of the whole thing is but this has been my fav if the early/single releases so this one is for sure up there

First light- wow just wow wow so like I don’t even know how to describe it like I hate the word epic cause it’s so 2000s but like it truly is so like epic and powerful the sheer strength of his voice is genuinely jaw dropping just wow wow wow wowowowoowowo

So it was just a first listen through I don’t know which my favorite is yet but wow they are all just stunning it’s just an incredible album so so so good

[bleachbleachbleach]

For the fanfic ask game! (14) If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? (and also which medium) (17) What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? (30) Ask anything! Who is your current favorite character to write?

Fic Writing Meme

(14) If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? (and also which medium)

I have strongly considered making a graphics package for REVERSE THE BONE that’s just like, all the material culture ephemera Hinamori collected over the course of the Train Job—Kira’s map, packaging and flyers from Iwatobi, a tourism map of East Rukongai complete with stamp rally, the Takenoyu business card… I love that kind of in-universe graphic design, and I’d already made the train tickets. Buuuut if I made more graphics, it would take that time away from writing.

Other than that, I always think of D O N K I in visual terms, because Hitsugaya spends so much of that fic being overstimulated by Worm TVs and weird cups and fast trains and, of course, Don Quijote itself. It’s a fairly melancholy fic, but the visuals that attend it all are so absurd I feel like it would be cool to see in a visual medium that could really play with that contrast. Maybe one of those books where you can pull new elements into the scene via pull tab, or open little doors, or initiate fancy pop-ups! THERE’S A DONKI AT THE END OF THIS BOOK:

(Kyoto May 2023) "That's just the aesthetic of any dollar store" YEAH but you can buy perishable prepared foods inside this one somewhere! (By the socks.)

(17) What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

I wrote a post-TYBW fic that involved spending a lot of time burying bodies in mass graves, because the only divisions that got mentioned as cremating their dead were the 11th and the 4th. The body burying happened for the ~vibes and because it didn’t occur to me to think about it, and it wasn’t until after writing it that I had the thought that like, oh hm, why wouldn’t everyone be cremated? Because in my mind Japan is a country of cremation. So I assumed for years that the whole fic was based on a flawed premise, and oh well, it’s Soul Society so it does whatever I want it to, I’ll live with that.

But then when writing the Train Fic, I looked up how bodies might be transported, and what kinds of receptacles were used. And I was like, well, it’s really not going to be the same visual if it’s just a bunch of boxes of ashes, lol. But in my reading, I learned that the dominance of cremation in Japan is super recent! Like mid-20th century recent! And my perception otherwise is a very Buddhist bias! After that, I ended up starting research in the Yayoi period and working my way forward, because I figured I’d get the full historical picture and then decide how I wanted to imagine Soul Society’s version of that swathe of history, since I figured 1) lifespan difference might result in some pre-Edo holdovers when it comes to the basics, and 2) Soul Society wasn’t going to have the same socio-historical pressures driving change, so in those instances where they were choosing to model things they did after the Living World, they probably also just cherry-picked whatever they vibed with lol.

Anyhow, this was a cool, short, pretty cute video about ancient burial practices and burial jars!

(30) Ask anything! Who is your current favorite character to write?

HAHA realistically, whoever’s feeling collaborative and is willing to be nice to me. 🥺 But in the extremely *likely* scenario where someone puts a gun to my head and says "you have to write a Bleach fic right now, while we watch, or we shoot you!" I’d probably choose to do it with Matsumoto.

Because she’s patronized one Junrinan confectionary at least one time, and was excited about Orihime’s cooking, and loves shopping and celebrations of all kinds, and learned traditional dance despite obviously not growing up in The Scene, my mind has kind of spun Matsumoto into someone who sees a lot of value in experiencing and learning about different cultures (which in her context primarily means Rukongai districts), and it’s fun to write her interfacing with all these things. She doesn’t seem to have strong ties to the district she came from, necessarily, but I feel like she has strong values around recognizing Rukongai at large as a real place with infinite cultural particularities—particularities she wants to honor and know about—not just a blank slate waypoint.

Closer to canon, she has so many interesting relationships with people all across the board, you can kind of bring her into any situation and she’ll probably have some kind of generative connection to it. I also love that even though she’s open to conversations that might be really difficult OR down to clown, she also has a private core that she doesn’t share, and it can be really fun to play with that dialogism when narrating from her POV. She’s just a really good time all around!

[softgrungeprophet]

I was rambling about this in my insta stories and had been thinking about making a post like this off and on for a while so, i'm just gonna do it now

Spider-Man comics to get to know me:

(Peter Parker: Spider-Man #47 (Jenkins/Ramos))

These are comics I like, comics that make me go "AUGHFDHGH" etc. I'm not saying they're masterpieces (though some of them are), but I'm saying I like them and they are a good insight into my tastes and why I write and draw the way I do, for my AUs, etc...

apologies in advance, this post is going to be a bit long.

🕸️🕸️🕸️

first: a comic arc (really, arcs) that makes me feel crazy (in a good way)

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44-47 (Jenkins/Ramos) and Spectacular Spider-Man v2 #3-10 (Jenkins/Ramos) (also issue #27)

I am still randomly working my way through these comics in bits and pieces because I read like a weirdo (aka, sometimes out of order, often with large breaks in between) but in general I do recommend these specific issues to at least some extent if you want to understand my tastes in comics and what subplots make me absolutely feral

with the caveat that these comics are incredibly early aughts for better and for worse; some of the jokes don't quite land (particularly Nurse Helga in SSM, which is a textbook example of the Brawnhilda trope, such a staple of 2000s humor and just not funny), and I find Jenkins' take on Venom (and Eddie Brock's backstory, mannerisms and speech) to be lacking... though it's not entirely uncompelling.

but as far as Peter, and his life, and the stuff involving Flash, and also the scene where he makes Ock beg for mercy, it's very much my shit. He makes Peter feel lost and directionless in a way that feels very believable, and it's clear that Peter really gives a shit about people. Even just the other people in his apartment building breaking into his apartment to play games using his TV is like... Yeah. I love it.

Extremely "this was made for me," and I am definitely the target audience when it comes to taste. When/if I ever have the money I'll definitely be looking for used copies of the trades with these issues in them because I really do like it a lot. I guess there's something about the way Jenkins writes (not to mention Ramos' stellar compositions) both in terms of character but also in terms of style itself—something dreamy and melancholy but not trudging—that really speaks to me as a reader and drags me in, even when he sometimes misses the mark or makes a joke that isn't funny. (which i'll admit isn't... uncommon)

I WANT TO SAY ONE THING THOUGH which is that even though I like their Spectacular stuff, the Ock arc (issues #6-10 iirc) deals with the Israel/Palestine conflict as part of the plot and while, writing-wise, it's actually surprisingly thoughtful (tho idk if i can judge whether it's truly deeply thoughtful or just not as offensive as it could have been, especially for such a fraught topic in a superhero comic), there is an Israeli character that, to be frank, the way Ramos draws him feels very antisemitic to me. I know that he has a very stylized way of drawing and he exaggerates a lot of characters' features, especially facial features, but it's still fair to point out that the IDF character is undeniably drawn in a way that is questionable at best and clearly rooted in antisemitic stereotypes whether intentional or not.

Similar goes for the Palestinian character, tbh. Ramos is, again, very stylized, but definitely is leaning more into the big hawkish noses for the arab and israeli characters...

🕸️🕸️🕸️

Sensational Spider-Man v2 #23-40 (Aguirre-Sacasa/Medina/Crain)

NOT marvel knights spider-man, I do not like marvel knights spider-man, this is a different creative team, it got the title changed from MKS I guess? idk 23-40 is literally the entire run, it starts on 23 lol

well. no 23-41 is the whole thing but 41 is OMD and I still haven't read it 🤷 Also this is concurrent with a lot of Civil War stuff, like, Aunt May getting shot, and like one of the trades actually is a Civil War branded book, but like... I didn't read basically any of that stuff. If you know the gist of what happens during Civil War, it makes plenty enough sense on its own.

This run is... my shit. Overall, I just like it. And more specifically the issues from the POV of, respectively, Aunt May, MJ, and Felicia, made me cry like a little baby. Hell—I don't even like the villain who's revealed at the culmination of the first arc but I still really like the first arc as a whole. (though I'll admit, while Aguirre-Sacasa writes a Peter I really like, he does fall into my biggest pet peeve (he's not the only one) of talking about Peter's Inherent Pure Goodness but like... he still writes a great Spidey imo)

Also. It turns out I have a thing for moody 2000s comics where it's pouring rain with art that can occasionally be described as "wack" 😂 I actually... unlike Ramos' art, I don't really find myself defending Medina's. It's ridiculously lumpy, it's very mid 2000s aesthetically, it's kind of fuck-ugly. But. The atmosphere is impeccable. I'm also not really a fan of Clayton Crain (who did the art i put up above), generally (he's just not to my taste most of the time) but like, again, the mood is impeccable and Crain is good at what he does when what he's doing is meant to be uncomfortable or creepy. The atmosphere is off the charts, man.

It's absolutely not for ages 9 and up ("A") and I really don't know how or why it got that rating instead of the 15+ "Parental Advisory" warning, because even the briefest of glimpses shows that it's a pretty intense run from the start... it's really just not for kids at all imo, though young horror buffs I'm sure could handle it for the most part.

Also yes this is the comic run where Peter meets and talks to God (#40, the Book of Peter) which. i know sounds weird. and it is weird, i won't lie. But... I liked it? I think it rewired my brain a little bit. When I mention Peter punching dumpsters in fics, this issue is where I got that from. It really made a lot of things click for me.

This run is also why I draw Felicia's hair down to her fuckin ankles lol like—even though I said! that I don't really like Medina's art! The way he draws Felicia in the pouring rain with her long, long hair plastered soaking wet to her body, like. again, rewired my brain a little bit.

THAT BEING SAID—

I feel the need to put a VERY BIG TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNING on this recommendation.

Issues #38 and #39 are The Last Temptation of Eddie Brock.

The Last Temptation of Eddie Brock is upsetting to read (regardless of your opinion on Venom and/or Eddie as a character(s)).

Listen, I like angst. I write and read a lot of angsty stuff. I like sad endings. I like reading stories that are dark, to an extent. One could probably accuse me of liking edgelord-y or grimdark stuff. I don't even think The Last Temptation is bad. BUT. It's upsetting to read and I think it really requires a trigger warning for the things it deals with—not just cancer but also attempted suicide and self harm, and graphic violence/blood—because it's kind of intense even in its briefness, and it was a little bit upsetting for me to read even as someone who usually isn't bothered by this stuff in fiction. It's just kind of a lot.

So just keep in mind that those two issues but especially #39 might be... kind of intense or upsetting, especially if you don't know what to expect going in. I did know what to expect, I knew what happened in it already, and it still really threw me for a loop just because of the presentation of certain scenes and the visuals themselves, and it kind of stuck with me for a few days just cause it's that kind of heavy.

🕸️🕸️🕸️

Grim Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man #634-637) (Kelly/Lark/Chechetto)

What can I say except AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

another comic that feels like it was made just for me 😂 you might be.. noticing a pattern here.... lmao it's true i'm the target audience for edgy, violent superhero comic books (i'm just also the target audience for like. the ones where the interpersonal relationships are just as important as everything else)

Grim Hunt's got it all: it's got angry Peter, it's got dangerous Peter (perhaps even... murderous Peter), it's got Kaine being tragic, it's got nice art overall, it's got Kraven being a DILF (thanks checchetto)—also it opens on Peter with swine flu 😂

I really enjoyed Grim Hunt when i read it recently, and it really does tap into exactly the kinds of things I like in Spider-Man, in making Peter really give a shit about people, and in having Kaine trying to do the right thing, and especially in having Peter switch into my favorite mode: Horror Movie Serial Killer Mode.

It's a lot of fun!

It's not perfect, of course, and like many of the other comics on my faves list, does that "innate goodness" thing which I disagree with and I think is a thing Kelly often does? At least, twice, i guess, cause it's in Non-Stop as well sort of (though it feels more justified there). And it makes me go NOO Peter's anger does not take away from his humanity, his anger is PART of his humanity! His flaws are what make him human! But other than that it ruled and I really liked it, and like the other comics on here I'll probably try to snag a trade someday if I can find one, cause I like to physically own my favorite comics, generally.

🕸️🕸️🕸️

Non-Stop Spider-Man (Kelly/Bachalo) (all of the issues; it's not very long, it fits in a single trade, you can read it in like. an afternoon.)

(note: I haven't had a chance to read the follow-up to Non-Stop (Savage Spider-Man) yet, so I can't say if that's good or not but Non-Stop is fantastic so it's gotta be at least halfway decent)

Something I'm realizing is that I think I might like Joe Kelly's writing 😂 even his arc in SM/DP is genuinely not awful (I mean, anything that gives me Peter being sexy in a sleek black suit with claws, threatening people, ends up a minimum level of decent just by that virtue alone)

Others have said this: Bachalo's art does feel a little rushed, especially compared to other comics he's done, and yet, despite this, visually it is a TREAT. It is a FEAST for my eyeballs. The layouts are fucking WILD, it's like 90% diagonals, it fucking RULES. It goes 500000 miles an hour. This is hands-down one of the best modern (past 10 years specifically) Spider-Man comics I have read. Period. It rips, slaps, fucks, etc. It's bitchin' and I'd recommend it for the art and layouts alone!

(even if, yes, Bachalo makes Peter the most twinky twink to ever twink; at least he's fuckable) (even if not as fuckable as in SM/DP #23... with the DSL...)

But I like the writing a lot too! It's not just visually appealing, it's simply a stellar all around piece of comic-making, from the art, lettering, writing, the whole team really made something amazing.

And also, okay. So. This comic. I think it's well-written and well-drawn. But. Okay. The dialogue. It's... very very clearly influenced directly by things like the popularity of the MCU by which I mean: over-reliance on Whedon-esque, frequently memetic dialogue (which is weird because none of the other stuff I've read by Kelly has this kind of dialogue style?)... it's Cringe, essentially. That being said, I think Joe Kelly is significantly more successful and better at using this style of dialogue compared to basically every other writer I've ever seen doing it—not that that's saying much but, I do think he was largely successful with it, as cringe as "Nazi, please" is. It doesn't really stop being cringe but it is, for the most part, fairly snappy and well-paced with a good patter that matches the pacing of the art very well. It's called Non-Stop Spider-Man for a reason, it really does not stop.

Also, even with that dialogue and trying to make Peter more hip and cool (which I assume is at least partially editorial), well, Kelly remains very good at writing Peter. He just has a great handle on the character.

I also think that there's a really huge point in Kelly's favor here which is that he's completely, 100% candid, upfront and straightforward about the story he is writing. The villains in this comic are racists. They are neo-nazis and anti-semites. Kelly doesn't shy away from that or try to couch it in metaphors. They're just racist, and that is why they are bad people.

There's a scene where Zemo makes a crack about gold fillings, to Peter's face. Kelly and Bachalo allow for a single completely silent panel following this (which is very impactful in a comic that's this frenetic) and then he snaps. It's a very effective scene, and unlike some other "Character Experiences Discrimination" scenes (such as, for example, Zodiac's violent homophobic assault of Johnny Storm) even despite the fact that "Peter is Jewish" is the only thing that does remain only subtext, it feels very cathartic and well-done because Peter is allowed to be angry and fight back in response; he's not the object of the scene, he's the subject and he gets to act rather than be dehumanized or objectified as nothing more than a victim, and I really liked that and I know that I've talked about that with others who felt that it was very well executed as well.

AND that fighting back and anger is presented as justified, and right, rather than an unfortunate flaw. Peter's rage is sympathetic, justifiable, and not presented as Wrong. He is allowed to be angry, and it is okay that he is angry—in fact it is good that he is angry. Because it means he gives a shit. I like that.

I don't think the plot twist at the end entirely hits right, like... I do 100% see what Kelly was going for with it, and I don't think it's necessarily unbelievable or bad, but something just didn't click right for me there. But overall, I still think it's a good comic and is a good window into my tastes.

To quote myself: it takes big swings, some of them miss, some of them hit really hard, and it feels like it has a lot more teeth than some of the more recent comics. and i can appreciate teeth.

🕸️🕸️🕸️

(Spider-Man: Redemption #3 (DeMatteis/Zeck)

Not specific runs per se but I also really just like anything DeMatteis does—sometimes he does whiff it a tiny bit (rarely) but overall I love his writing stylistically (he's one of few writers that can get me to enthusiastically read a wall of text in a comic book), in terms of characterization and interpersonal relationships—

comics like Spider-Man: The Lost Years or Redemption were really enjoyable for me to read (thanks for the recs TC)

and of course there's Spectacular Spider-Man (Flashback) #-1 (That Thompson Boy!) which is such a foundational issue for Flash's backstory at this point

and who can forget the iconic Child Within (i'll admit i haven't actually read TCW myself but I've seen many, many pieces of it via discord lol)—he and Buscema are such a dream team for comics, really... they work so well together. Nothing hits harder than Harry's death...

Anyway, those are like, The Comics That Define My Taste to some extent (or offer the best window into what I like and understanding my taste) but

There are also other comics I know I would like that I have not read yet! Though I've read a couple issues from JMS' ASM run and enjoyed them, such as ASM #55 (love teacher!peter so much), but there's still a lot I have yet to make my way through. (i still haven't read Kraven's Last Hunt 😂 yeah I know)

(Amazing Spider-Man #55 (JMS/Romita Jr.)

(peter's like, in his mid-to-late 20s at this point i'm pretty sure lol)

And there are other single issues I won't be taking the time to list just cause, there's a lot, you know? Like...

The B story in ASM 622 (or the A story, if you're horny and want to look at peter's biceps and beautiful profile)

(Amazing Spider-Man #622 (A-story: "It is the Life," van Lente/Quinones (peter gets vampire hypnotized), B-story: "Stages of Grief," Weisman/Ross (peter and the crew throw flash a birthday party so he knows just how much he is valued and loved))

or like... ASM Extra! #3 where Flash comes back w/o his legs and Peter beats the shit out of a z-lister because he feels so guilty, and so on and so forth.

(Amazing Spider-Man: Extra! #3, "Character Assassination: Coda," Guggenheim/...Fiorentino I think? There are two artists in this story, for the two different things happening, but I think the artist for this sequence is Fabrizio Fiorentino, not Olliffe)

anyway

Good shit!!

obviously there are the classics as well, Amazing Fantasy #15, early ASM, etc., like of COURSE. Silver Age is a lot of fun (or, sometimes, tragedy) and the silver age gave us the coffee bean gang, and peter's bitchiness, and such good character dynamics, and was the start of all of it—obviously none of these comics would exist without the silver age, and like, gwen's death is iconic, and so on. but to try to pick specific issues, idk if i can single any out? i hop around so much when i read, you know? it's hard to keep track or to pick favorites 😂

but I do think that Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5 has really valuable insight into Peter as a character (spoiler: he's not very nice), though requires some basic understanding of Cold War politics and the Rosenbergs (thank you Traincat for pointing that second part out to me, it really brings nuance and clarifies subtext that might go missed otherwise)

but you can like… go on wikipedia for that really… I just think it's a neat comic and tbh for every fan (or pro) who tries to insist that Peter is a perfect, delicate, harmless boy maybe they should go to the source and see that Stan Lee disagreed. lol

(and also those people owe me... five bucks and a pizza 😉)

[infoglitch]

Fuck.

Yeah im currently suffering. Not any wounds, not any insults, not any tragedies, just... God.

Let's talk about red like roses. (All 3 parts)

Oki need to give context. I'm glitch and I have been a... Scarred fan of rwby. I enjoyed the first four Volumes before I kinda feel off after volume 5. At first I was very much in love with it but once I finished Volume 5 I just felt hollow like I didn't want to watch the series so I left it, and I left the fandom before ever being able to interact with it.

And so as explained by my complicated relationship with Rwby I only really got back into the series because of BBtag. And then I looked into it and oh dear God it's a mess.

Apparently it's already volume 9 and apparently the writing is getting better which I find hard to believe still.

Bmblb happened which is just.. wow, took 3 volumes to finish a subplot I had no interest in because let's face it, little me didn't get sexuality because I was in a religious house hold and also because I was never exposed to that media so when first read the word lesbian. I read it as "leash-a-bin". (It sounded Spanish ok.)

Anyway I also found out about the uh... The "allegations" of rt and yeah. And obviously a combination of "i could do it better", spite, and love for rwby all mix together into me deciding to write page 1 of rwby: fate, and that's where I put my foot down and said "I'm writing this, because I need to give this series it's respect".

So now here I am 5 pages deep into Rwby fate and 63 pages deep in my own book. And I'm on my bed just looking for music to listen to and I come across.

Red

Like

Roses

I listened to it and it just... God it feels so strange listening to a song I barely listen to before and I'm flooded with melancholy and yet nostalgia. This song is still good despite everything and it just hurts to listen and know, this is a song for a series that has done nothing but fail and harm it's fans.

It hurts because this song, captures the idea of ruby. She's still naive no matter how you look at it. She became a huntress to be like her mother and the rest of her family as well as to follow in the footsteps of her favorite fairy tales. Fairy tales, y'know, the fairy tales that inspired the characters.

Red riding hood,

Snow White,

Beauty and the beast,

Goldi(Y)locks, (that one's kind of a stretch I know)

RWBY

And thats not all of it because technically red like roses is only one a third of the whole actual song. Theres still part II in which is just a major tone shift

🎶I couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute

Couldn't bear another day without you in it

All of the joy that I had known for all my life

Was stripped away from me the minute that you died

To have you in my life was all I ever wanted

But now without you, I'm a soul forever haunted

Can't help but feel that I had taken you for granted

No way in hell that I can ever comprehend this

I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone

I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong

How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay?

Now I'm stuck inside a nightmare every single effing day

It's like a movie but there's not a happy ending

Every scene fades black and there's no pretending

This little fairy tale doesn't seem to end well

There's no knight in shining armor who will wake me from the spell

I know you didn't plan this

You tried to do what's right

But in the middle of this madness

I'm the one (I'm the one) you left to win this fight

Red like roses

Fills my head with dreams and finds me

Always closer to the emptiness and sadness

That has come to take the place of you🎶

Just, holy shit does this feel strange listening to. While the other one is melancholic and quiet, only having four lyrics during the start.

Part II is just a fury of emotions that just hit me HARD. The first was so quiet letting it's music sing for it self and the second one was the flurry of spiraling feelings. The anger, the sorrow, the regret, all spiraling into each other creating a hectic and wild rhythm. And it just absolutely HITS for me. And yet this isn't my favorite part of red like roses.

That goes to-

(yes I'm using the one for the lyrics fuck you)

Part III is interesting. It's from volume yet this feels like a volume 1 song. The song unlike it's predecessors speaks a new tune, a calm, determined, tone with it not focusing only on the past but also on the now, it's collected itself and it's ready to go forward. To escape the pain and move forward.

This is all just fancy words but I do love each part of red like roses. And it still reminds me of my love for rwby and it just..

It hurts to remember every bit of rwby and the failure it's becoming, we will most likely never see rwby V10 and if we do it'll probably be the final volume.

And I'm divided, I hate rooster teeth and want them to fail but I still want rwby to get an ending. But I've gone over this dilemma.

Right now all I have to say is...

"Fuck, I love rwby."

[linalilia]

LINA. LINA HELP ITS COMING. I CHECKED THE MILGRAM YOUTUBE AND KAZUIS CAT THUMBNAIL IS UP. HELP IM NOT PREPARED-

On a more analyzing and less funny note, something I noticed about the thumbnail is it looks a lot more..........cartooney then the rest if that makes sense? Just the way its drawn gives me that vibe. I wonder if this is how kazui has changed? He's become slightly more carefree? That's what the vibe of the song gives me too. (ex: "Love + Fate= Crap.") It seems.......childish and mocking. At least compared to what I've seen of his first trial, which was more melancholy. (granted, I haven't watched half yet, I know I need too, its just the slow song doesn't hit it for me 😔). Anyway I'm curious as to your thoughts on this 🤔?

P.s, I saw your linagram door covers and may I just say: (puts on best bebe rexha impression) SLAY!! SLAAAAAAY!! I'm so honestly curious about all of them I might just analyze them like I do kilogram honestly-

YESSSSS IT'S GONNA BE HERE SO SOON I AM NOT READY

and yes, the art style/aesthetic of this thumbnail definitely looks different from the other ones! i wonder if the whole mv is gonna be drawn like that, though i think they're most likely just gonna keep it for the certain scenes. i love how fun and creative the mvs are this season! of course, the s1 ones are great, but we've got so many iconic moments already even though we're not even done with all the prisoners yet. i've heard something about the last four mvs being.. particularly interesting, so i can't wait to see what they've prepared for us! god i'm so worried about amane and yeah, ngl i didn't like half that much at first, i like listening to slower songs only when i'm in a specific mood, but it has definitely grew on me! though i just remember watching it for the first time and going ".. so what's with the apples". anyway i think cat is gonna be a very fun song, though i have a feeling that there might be some.. like, slower or more sad/scary parts? basically like mahiru's rap in ily, LIKE I REALLY DID NOT EXPECT TO HEAR IT BECAUSE OF HOW ENERGETIC THE CHORUS IS.

and thank you so much, i'm glad you like the doors!! feel free to analyze them if you want, i'd love to hear your thoughts!

[hometownrockstar]

I’ve been wanting to read new books/comics do you have any suggestions? I wanna broaden my horizon and try out works I haven’t had the chance to get into!

yeah sure! ive been reading quite a bit lately, mainly horror and disturbing books/mangas so obviously trigger warnings for those ones i can elaborate on specific ones if u ask but i'll keep it short... iunno what specifically you might want so i'll just shoutout my favs recently

Berserk has been the latest manga ive been reading, probably one of the hardest ones to read bc its VERY sad and disturbing but is an incredible story nonetheless. i am not phased easily by written stuff but berserk was the first thing to have a scene that i had to look away from so proceed with caution... Berserk is interesting bc it has Nietzschean tragedy themes and structure, portraying a world where evil and pain happens for no reason despite humans fearing not pain but pain without purpose, but it also holds a sense of compassion and realism to both the good and bad, exemplifying how Nietzsche saw tragedy as beneficial to enjoying and valuing the good parts of life. Sorry this got long but a lot of horror stuff i feel can be boiled down to "Super fucked up bad things happen in it" which doesnt give the whole scope of how a specific media might handle or portray it, so i wanted to explain how it feels to me, rather than just saying its gratuitous.

Something different is the manga Ultra Heaven! this was like finding gold when i discovered it, its short and unfortunately incomplete but i highly recommend it just for the incredible illustration work and playing with paneling and crazy mind stuff. its written by a guy who does drugs and often points to psychadelics as a heavy influence for his work, and its extremely apparent in this one. if you love beautiful artwork and surrealist mind-fucky narratives (like perfect blue or eva) then i cant recommend this enough.

ok i cant let this get too long ummm Animorphs! throwing a curveball but its still horror, just kid's cosmic horror. and war. and its really good, even tho i read it as an adult for the first time i loved it. actually rlly good commentary on the ethics and grey morality during war. Heres where u can download every book, the megamorphs and alternamorphs are required for the plot btw theyre listed in the order u read them in-between the series books.

A good horror/comedy manga is Franken Fran, i INSTANTLY took to it when i picked it up its my style of dark comedy exactly. i really liked black jack for the episodic chapter style, n this is like black jack but with dark comedy body horror and i love it :3

Back to books... I'll list these together, Come Closer by Sara Gran and Confessions by Kanae Misato. I stayed up all night on two separate nights reading these bc they had me hooked so well lol... I wouldnt call them horror, more like thriller/tragedies. come closer has a great writing style, its a rather sad book about a woman being possessed by a demon, really good sparse prose that emphasizes details. Confessions is just... u gotta go right into it, its GREAT. really intriguing style and premise, love the epistolary format, SO good with details.

The Melancholy of Anatomy by Shelley Jackson, short story compilation. i talked abt it best in this post so i'll link it

Bonding by Maggie Siebert is a great short story horror collection as well, the horror feels like aching and emotionally palpable in it, very well done one of my fav horror books ive read so far.

These next two things are about more abstract writing so dont expect completely clear narratives -w- but I read Amygdalatropolis by B.R. Yeager and i SUPER loved it but i might have to reread it a couple of times to get the hang of it. his newer book Negative Space has good reviews so i'll check it out soon but thats more of a grounded narrative, Amygdalatropolis juggles surrealist imagery, forum text, symbolic elements in a truly hypnotic way.

Umm finally i have been really into books of poetry by Sam Pink lately :)! theyre rather short and like some are more story-related but theyre absurdist and really like, good and resonating in a personal way, i really super enjoy it, i read You Hear Ambulance Sounds And Think They Are For You and a bit of Person and i like them a lot :)

[katierosefun]

Hey Caroline, thanks so much for sharing my BE ask list!! 😊😊 Here are my questions for you

🤔🎵🍂

helloo tiffany! thank you for making the asks!! // from these asks

🤔 Give me a random headcanon

joo won really hates peanut butter. (it sticks to the roof of your mouth, dong sik-ssi. why would you eat that by choice.)

🎵 What five songs do you associate with Beyond Evil?

impossible by nothing but thieves, because i saw a really lovely edit on instagram/twitter, and i can't find the link now, but god, it's one of my fave edits

iris by chriz lanzon, just because this cover specifically has really smoky autumn/winter vibes in the same way that i think about beyond evil. also, come on, iris is a classic song for any ship.

let me follow by son lux, because that was one of the first songs that i was listening to while writing beyond evil fic, and now whenever this song comes on shuffle, i literally freeze because i'm transported back to really hot late july/early august when i had my shades down and i was writing beyond evil fic in between my breaks studying for the lsat and this song would be the only thing playing in the room and yeah

home by dotan, because again with the autumn vibes. sound of the wind whispering in your head, can you feel it coming back is a lyric that immediately makes me think of joo won standing in the middle of the reed field in a place that used to be home but not quite home, how all roads lead back to manyang, etc etc. gives me chills every time!

i guess by mitski, because i always see the last scene of beyond evil in my head whenever i listen to this song. just joo won and dong sik looking at each other near the water, and you can't hear a single thing except the water lapping and the breeze and even though it's february, you have this overwhelming sense that warmer days are coming , , , yeah. just like this song, the ending of beyond evil has this quiet melancholy to it, but it feels oddly warm, because even though it's the end, you have the feeling that none of it was wasted. (from here, i can say thank you. . . )

🍂 What time of year would you like to visit Manyang?

oh, the autumn. specifically november, i think, right when there aren't a whole ton of leaves left, but not cold enough to snow yet.

[arcanistvysoren]

kudos to u for writing THE kaffee/ross fic! im surprised there's not a ton for them; like you go across the river to top gun and there's oodles lol. i love your danny, but i especially love your jack; with how little we really see in the movie, you really managed to kind of flesh him out more and make him this guy who's falling in love despite himself, who's melancholy and sweet in his own kind of way. i wanted to ask -- how do u think the two of them end up?

Hi! :3 Thank you so much for your message.

First of all, let me apologize for not responding sooner. me: links my tumblr on all my AO3 fics also me: stops checking tumblr for 6 months Blog was just collecting cobwebs since December.

And then I logged in and had three whole messages, so of course I curled in on myself like a mollusk and had to think about how to answer them for a good long while.

Gonna put my answer under cut because, truthfully, this is something I’ve thought about before, thought about extensively, and since I made you wait for a reply for so long, might as well make it a good and long one.

First of all. Again: really appreciated this message. <3 Like you said — there are barely any fics out there for this movie — so it always makes me happy to know that mine is satisfying enough to have scratched the itch for someone out there who also wanted something lgbt to happen. :3

Especially because I certainly took a lot of artistic liberties, expanding Jack’s character like did.

There are characters out there in many fandoms that really do scream “closeted.” Like, you brought up Top Gun, and Iceman is exactly one such character, as far as fandom’s very reasonable reading is concerned. But I don’t think Jack’s like that at all. Nothing about him really suggested it. And still, on a whim, I decided: yeah I’m gonna make this man experience institutionalized homophobia. Which is a topic that, emphatically, does NOT have universal appeal.

But people continue to react very positively to it, so I’m always happy to know it landed well. <3

=======

Now, to the question at hand: I actually have thought about this even way back when I was writing the original fic. I planned things much further than where the fic ends, I even toyed with the idea of writing a sequel fic immediately after. That, obviously, never happened, but you can reap the benefits of whatever unfulfilled plans I did have.

1. First of all, it has to be said that “you inspired a fire”, in both iterations, is very much a getting-them-together fic. And fics like that, by design, leave off at a fairly early stage in a relationship. And I always try to write fics like that with the implication and the vibe that everything works out in the long run. Like appending a flashforward coda scene at the end that has a more settled “ER” vibe.

But, by virtue of how these types of fics are usually written, you have a lot of pining and then a sudden and tumultuous and happy resolution. But that leaves a very strong sense of “wait there should be more”. Because you know they are now on the same page but they still have so much ground to cover, all these unresolved emotions and growing pains of a new relationship.

And that’s one of the reasons why I was toying with the idea of an immediate sequel. Because it finishes way too early, and I wanted to write further steps of how the relationship actually progresses.

Now, this part is a little difficult for me to sum up in a tumblr post, because emotional beats of a romance to me are always more vibe than substance when I plan them. I know the trajectory, but the actual meat on the bones gets written as it gets written.

But, just talking through the intentions behind it: one of the cornerstones, (and a major appeal,) of Jack and Danny’s relationship for me was always the juxtaposition of their worldviews and expectations.

Jack has known that he’s gay for a very long time, and he’s lived with this knowledge, and internalized it to kind of accept a certain level of permanent unhappiness in his life. Versus Danny — who has gone through life thinking one thing about himself, and who then realizes that he’s queer quite abruptly, takes a moment to come to terms with it, and then there’s no additional turmoil for him in that. He doesn’t flinch from the realization, he just accepts it as the new status quo, and then he’s all in. He doesn’t have any of Jack’s hang-ups, he doesn’t have his cynicism, he doesn’t have his years of fear and anxiety over homophobia and, like you said, his melancholy.

And much of their relationship propels itself (and will continue to propel itself) exactly because Danny isn’t preemptively afraid that the relationship will fail, or will have tragic consequences on their social or professional lives. But just because it’s easy on him, doesn’t make it any easier on Jack.

Now, if we’re just talking romance: I think the romantic intimacy portion of their relationship never suffers any hurdles. (I, in general, do not subscribe to the “soap opera” variety of romance-writing where you get two people together, but then you have to maintain drama for the next season, the next book, the next something, so you create a profound interpersonal problem for them. If a relationship has problems that arise from a lack of communication, that’s already pretty bad. If a problem arises even with communication, then people are not on the same page at all, and that’s even worse.)

Either way, I think both Jack and Danny are committed to being very good at love. To putting themselves out there. Jack — for all that he’s a very tightly-wound individual who is not exactly highly emotive — thought that he would never, not in a million years, get to have this. So now that he does, a relationship is something that he cherishes and would never take for granted. He is extremely attentive, he has like an internal calendar of their personal milestones. Whereas Danny is good at it in a spontaneous way. He doesn’t spend time agonizing over each and any gesture of affection. His brand is more “I saw this and I thought of you,” which happens without rhyme or reason, but it happens all the time, and that’s something that Jack, for all his fastidiousness and rigorous schedules, deeply loves about him. Because it means Danny is thinking about him, that he always thinks about him, that Jack is always part of Danny’s considerations about anything going forward, just effortlessly, and that is a sort of attention that he never had in his life.

2. The difficulty, as I imagine it, at the beginning of their relationship, comes from everything else. Everything in their life outside of the actual romance.

The JAG Corps has a lot of military pride and lawyer pride about appearing a certain way, having this pristine career, immaculate resume, and all that. And Jack is a consummate professional, and for years he clocked in every morning to do his job and left everything else outside those walls. And then Danny comes along and just demolishes his neat routine.

The title of the fic itself — you know, nobody ever asked me about it, and I never really commented on it before, and it’s kind of silly. ‘Coz it’s a line from a song that really has NOTHING to do with anything in the fic whatsoever. I almost didn’t use it as the title because of how incongruous it was. In the end, I guess, in my head it made enough sense, regardless of the source, that I left it as is. But the song in question was What Kind of Man by Florence + the Machine — which is a song that is about an upsettingly toxic relationship between the narrator and somebody who doesn’t commit to her but emotionally strings her along. Which: like I said, not at all relevant. But the refrain in that song is: ‘And with one kiss — you inspired a fire that lasted for twenty years. What kind of man loves like this?’ And when I was writing the fic originally, that song (which was pretty fresh at that time) did pop into my head, entirely removed from the context of the song. Because, just in a vacuum, without the rest of it, I thought it did fit how I saw their relationship from Jack’s perspective. Because Jack was just fully encrusted within his way of life. Emotionally shut down. And then Danny completely wrecked him out of his equilibrium in a kind of… irrecoverable way. And if it ended up that Danny didn’t feel the same way about him, Jack would really never fully get over the experience of falling for him.

Here you have Jack, who is all about his job and nothing but, and suddenly he catches these really intense feelings, in a way he has never had before. Sure, he had some misguided attractions in the past, but that was always a very subdued longing that he has always managed to successfully bury and ignore. And then Danny just burrows under his skin, in this maddening fashion, and Jack tries to fight against it, and he finds that he can’t. And the intensity of how much he feels for Danny is really difficult for him to grapple with. He thinks of romance as something he can control and even ignore, and to find himself in a situation where he can’t do either is very disrupting for him. And even when he knows that Danny returns his interest, for Jack, this is the first time that he has experienced this level of intensity. And he doesn’t think Danny can match that. He thinks that Danny is less entangled in it, that Danny would be capable of moving on from their romance. And he recognizes that he himself will never be able to. That he will be in love with Danny for the rest of his life. And Danny, unknowingly, has a lot of power over him, has the power to inflict just careless thoughtless damage.

So that’s kind of issue number one that I foresee. Is that these fears carry over for Jack into the initial beginning of the relationship, before he is fully 100% convinced that Danny is, really, on the same page about it as him.

And then, also, Jack doesn’t trust that Danny can tone it down and actually be considerate enough to be low-key about their relationship. Danny is very antithetical to the idea of anything low-key. Like, he is the type of a guy to loudly call out a stranger on their homophobia — because he doesn’t really think it has anything to do with him, personally, he doesn’t think that it will make people think he’s gay, or that it will have social repercussions for him. Because, previously, it never has been about him. And he likes to make himself a bother. And that is mortifying to Jack who doesn’t want any attention to be attracted to the concept of queerness in relation to him or any of his circle of friends.

And, finally, Jack feels that he’s been on this road for a long time. The road of being closeted in the military. He knows all the road signs, he’s paid every toll on that road. And he doesn’t think that Danny understands how many tolls there will be. And, on one hand, he doesn’t want Danny to be burnt by the same experiences that he himself has been hurt by. But, on the other hand, circling back to the commitment of it all: he also fears that it may become too much. And that Danny won’t be able to handle the social pressure.

All of that is already sort of implied in the main fic, I guess, and sort of contributes to the ambivalent tone of the ending — because all these issues remain unresolved. And I don’t exactly have a script ready here for how each of these points do get resolved. Like I said, I typically don’t think about writing things like that, it just happens naturally over the course of the rest of the plot unfolding, and the multitude of slice-of-life moments through which I typically craft fics like that. Plus, with some of these, you really do need the narrative feeling behind it. Because you can’t really prove commitment to somebody who has trust issues in that department. It just something that heals over time.

3. And then, of course, you have to contend with the political landscape of it all. Typically, unless otherwise specified, I take it to mean that movies of this type and genre take place in the year they were released. Or when the screenplay got written. So, we have 1992, the Jessup case happens, and then, going off of the chronology of the fic, 1993 is when Jack and Danny hook up and begin their relationship.

And that is literally immediately before DADT happens.

This time period has a lot of historical milestones for queer rights. But, specifically, the conversation about gays and lesbians in the military was a not-insignificant and often talked-about political issue at that point. It was part of Clinton’s presidential campaign. 1993 is when Washington Post publishes a fairly famous quote from a retired Major General: “You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight.” A lot of people are wanting a change. And Clinton plans to repeal any laws that would prohibit gays and lesbians from serving.

But, of course, a lot of right-wing people are against the change. Clinton faces a lot of opposition, and the Congress outmaneuvers him and enacts the ban on gays in the military into federal law. Clinton tries to overturn it but is unsuccessful. And, as a compromise, his administration issues a Directive which says that you cannot ask military applicants about their sexual orientation. And then the phrase “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is later coined and affixed to it.

DADT was like the beginning of Sleeping Beauty where the curse was already laid by the evil witch and the best thing that one fairy can do is provide the most miserable little loophole that can barely prevent anything. The directive itself may have helped matters a tiny bit, it certainly allowed queer people to still serve. But it offered no protection from harassment and bias, which led to a lot of abuse and discrimination and even cases of murder.

And DADT will only be repealed in 2011. Same-sex marriage will become legal in all fifty states in 2015. I was in my 20s when that happened, so, unlike with the beginning of DADT, I actually have my own personal feelings about witnessing all that. But, the point is, from 1992 that’s about 20 years of extreme bullshit that they will have to live with.

I have it somewhere in my notes that Danny was born in 1964. I think the age is given when Jo recounts his resume? Which makes him 28 in 1992, and will make him 48 in 2012. Jack is described as two years older in the Sorkin script, so 30 and 50 respectively. That’s a hell of a long time to wait until you can be fully socially open about anything. You become used to it. A lot of people came out publicly and cheerfully in those years — but a lot of people remained as closeted as they ever were. Just because it’s been made legal, doesn’t mean you will not be ostracized professionally or socially by those who didn’t think it should have been. That’s a battle not everybody wants to fight.

And the military? Especially rancid about that.

By that point in time, Jack and Danny’s personal views would have bled into one another’s, I think.

Jack has never wanted to take part in this fight at all. By the time he’s 30, he’s already nearly fully insulated against it. Not to accidentally project personal experiences on a character, but — living where I am, in a hugely homophobic country — I can’t leave my house without encountering three separate instances of casual homophobia daily. It’s just part of the parlance. On TV, from strangers in the general store, from colleagues at work — colleagues that might even be friendly with you, but who will emphatically not see you the same way if they knew you were queer. And you smile, and you’re polite, but there is a wall, and you don’t really make connections with people, you don’t really allow anyone to get close. Because the baseline assumption is that everyone around you is a conservative bigot.

I remember freaking a friend of mine out. We went to college together, she was there for my coming out. We were close. Still are. But I made a friendly connection through local fandom with a new person. And like, we would talk nearly every day, we’re having fun, I mention her a lot... And then 2 years later I tell my friend from college: you know, I think it’s time to see if I can actually be friends with her. And my college friend instantly went through 5 stages of grief wondering: does Cyril also not think WE’RE friends yet?? But of course I did. And the issue on the table was queerness. Was me coming out to that other person as all my labels, and also making sure she’s normal about labels that I don’t have. Spoiler alert: she wasn’t, and it was one of the more difficult friendship divorces of my life. But that’s the sort of living that I’m talking about. We were close, we talked every day, we worked on fandom projects together, we skyped, we played video games, we had been to each other’s houses…. And then I came out to her, and it all just imploded. She wasn’t outwardly homophobic, but she was still hella conservative, but thought she was being liberal-minded. Just oodles of really offensive opinions. That I couldn't possibly dig her out of. And I just had to say sorry but no dice.

And I think Jack lives pretty much exactly like that. Whatever relationship he builds — and, again, I don’t mean exclusively in the romantic sense, I mean making friends at work, and anywhere else — everything is removed. People around him largely assume that he’s exactly like them, a boring peg, and that he’s polite, and likable, and that his anti-social tendencies are a personal flaw that he should maybe work on. They have no reason to understand that him being distant is a deliberate choice and a defense mechanism. Yes, he has a polite and amiable relationship with a lot of people at work. ‘Smiling Jack Ross’, and all that. But he isn’t actually friends with anybody. There is no deep intimacy in any of these relationships. Friendship requires honesty, and he knows he cannot be honest with these people. Criminality of being gay in the military aside, some people do form friendships, discover allies, and admit the truth to their friends. Not everybody he works with is incredibly right-wing. People can keep secrets, people can be normal about it. But that’s not Jack’s experience, and it is not his expectation, so he doesn’t do that at all.

And so, early on in their relationship, whenever the two of them encounter homophobia in the wild together, Jack just ignores it, completely blots it out. It doesn’t even register for him. Whenever he hears somebody spout insane backwards backwater bullshit, it’s a total disconnect for him. It just has so little basis in reality, it has so little to do with him, that it becomes like white noise that he doesn’t even hear.

And then, Danny is very much opposite of that. He wants to verbally spar. He wants to be loud and sarcastic and a nuisance. And when he sees people behaving horribly, he needles them, he antagonizes them. And, to him, that is also impersonal. For him, arguing is almost like a sport, and he doesn’t argue because the topic got to him, but because someone is wrong and Danny will see that person humiliated. The topic itself, arguing about being gay, also doesn’t feel to him like that’s about him.

Which is a part of a larger conversation, because even being in a queer relationship, I think he doesn’t really categorize himself as queer. Which is an issue with a lot of bisexual people who come into bisexuality later, and the language doesn’t feel like it applies to them, and also they don’t have any leg to stand on when it comes to the actual social politics of it. They didn’t live through homophobia, they just instantly fell into a good and healthy relationship. So when he starts debating bigots and calling them out on homophobia — it doesn’t really even feel to him like that’s about him. It’s just about fairness. It’s way more about Jack to him than it’s in any way about himself.

My point is, ultimately — when you flashforward twenty years into the future, they will both have learned from one other. Jack will have learned to be more ready to defend queerness, because it doesn’t leave him vulnerable anymore, and because, before, it was just bullshit he could ignore. But now it’s not just somebody shitting on him, it’s somebody shitting on Danny also, and their relationship, their family. And Danny is not going to take that lying down, he will stand alone against the whole world if he has to. And Jack isn’t about to let him do any of it alone.

Whereas Danny is having the opposite trajectory of: yes, he is ready to fight every bigot and just verbally destroy them. He has the energy of an angry jack russell terrier about most things. And it doesn’t take up any negative emotional space for him, even. It doesn’t bother him, it doesn’t stay with him, like I said: it’s almost like a sport to him — to shoot verbal pellets at fools. But he has to recognize pretty fast that his behavior is making things difficult for Jack. And so Danny will have to learn to appreciate his self-control and why it’s important to Jack, and learn to exercise the same level of restraint.

And there’s a golden mean there somewhere where they are able to meet and understand each other and assume each other’s point of view. And then, by the time 2011 and so forth roll up… they would have lived a content but emphatically closeted life for almost 20 years. They would have gone through the majority of their adulthood in hiding. And, like I said, just because the law changes to say something is legal — doesn’t mean it flips the switch in everybody around them. They are still surrounded by people who would make their lives miserable upon finding out. As well as left-wing people who would want to make someone like them poster children for success in the military and the JAG. And… at 50? I don’t think even Danny who is effortlessly extraverted would want that.

This is not to say that participating in queer politics is a young people’s fight. By and large, it has never been so. But their situation is severely constricted by them being in the military.

=======

Moving on from that. The DADT spiral got away from me a little. But. Like I said. Those were just general concepts and vibes of how I would have approached tackling the overarching themes in their relationship. Hypothetical plot points.

I do, however, also have some stuff that is more “thetical.” Back when I did think I would have enough time, and momentum, and spark, to write the sequel. I did pen some stuff down.

(This ask, in itself, is now the length of a decent short fic, but I’m on a roll here. Too late to turn back, I am committing.)

I had assorted notes with intermittently written scenes spanning almost the entire two decades from the end of the original fic to the repeal. Among them, these look the most readable:

A. I was incredibly invested in the “coming out” process. Because, yes, they need to hide their relationship, socially and professionally. But Danny has two very close personal friendships in his life that are extremely important to him and that he is not prepared to toss over for his romantic relationship. Jack has his bad experiences, he is used to people turning on you, treating you like a pariah after finding out. But Danny neither has that experience, nor thinks that Jo and Sam would react that way. Because, unlike Jack, when he builds a friendship, he really fucking builds it. Whereas I was talking about Jack keeping everyone at the same polite distance, Danny actually takes care to get to know people in his life, and to figure out which of them he meshes well with, and then he doesn’t let them go. He trusts that he knows Jo and Sam well enough to assert that they wouldn’t react like assholes.

So, after the first couple of months, Danny goes: I wanna tell them. And Jack is… the opposite of thrilled about it.

(It goes, roughly, something like that.)

Danny: I don’t want to lie to them. And yes, I know I said I would be okay with the lying — and I am. To the military. Hell, to the whole world. But they’re my friends. They will be in my life hopefully for as long as you will be — so you can’t really expect me to not tell them. I mean, they’re bound to notice we’re living together eventually, you know? Sam’s wife keeps trying to set me up with her girlfriends, and I am running out of excuses, and, damn it, yeah, I just want them to know, okay? Jack: [quiet-like] …I don’t think it’s a good idea. Danny: [earnestly] Jack, I trust them. You know them. They’re good people. Jack: That’s… not, precisely, my concern. I do not think either of them would get us thrown out. But I think the friendship you are trying to preserve here will not survive the revelation. They will not look at you the same. And that’s… a discomfort I am used to, and I know how to handle. But you do not. And I’d rather you didn’t have to find out.

Once again, Jack has a lot of unhappy experiences that he himself lived through about being gay, and people finding out, and how isolated it made him.

But Danny, after pondering it for a bit, still thinks he’s right. And, lbr, in this instance, he is. He’s a people person in a way that Jack isn’t. And his read on people is better, and his relationships that are really truly intimate are also so much more emotionally close than anything Jack has ever personally had, due to how he has always distanced himself from relationships out of self-preservation. But, for a while, Danny defers to Jack’s experience with this and he keeps putting it off. It’s not like he’s not nervous about it. He just doesn’t see any other way than to tell them.

In the meantime, they are practically living together, as Danny said. They’re going through the growing pains I outlined above and also just learning that quiet personal intimacy of living with another person. I’m sure they have very different housing habits. Danny certainly has his own military training drilled into him, I don’t think he’s exactly a messy person, but he’s not fastidious either. But Jack struggles with issues of control and lack of it in his life, so I think he exerts whatever control he can over any aspect of his day-to-day, which includes his schedule, and wardrobe, and immaculate living space.

Anyway, as they keep migrating back and forth between both of their places: Danny pretty much lives in his old family house, full of old memories, the long shadow cast by his father’s ghost, which is something that he is trying to get away from. While Jack, I imagine, being a frugal man, got himself a bachelor pad intended for one person, because he never imagined he would be sharing his life with anybody else. So, inevitably, Danny starts to think that they should probably move. Find a place that is big enough for the both of them and makes them both comfortable. Except, of course, two men — even men in uniform, or, maybe, especially in uniform — cannot exactly go house-hunting together.

Which is the moment he finally elects to come out to Jo.

They go out to their favorite spot in the park. It’s January 1994, so, like I said, DADT is about to go into effect, it is being discussed in most military journals. Some tagline about it is on the cover of whatever magazine Jo brought with her. Danny’s eyes get drawn to it unhappily in spite of himself. It’s been Christmas/Hannukah season, they haven’t really seen much of each other, and Sam’s wife has a moratorium on work talk during holiday season, so they haven’t actively discussed any of this stuff, except in a few throwaway sentences that really didn’t tell Danny anything about what either of them actually thought. Ultimately, though: he’s only known Jo for about two years now. Less than. And — aside from his really crass attempts at flirting initially — they do work very well together, and she’s a very moral person, and a straight-shooter, and he thinks she will probably not react badly if he brings it up. And it’s much easier to bring up to her first, because they have known each other the shortest. And she notices him staring at the cover, and rolls her eyes and says: It’s a stupid law. Because she’s probably highly politically involved, a Clinton supporter, who had expectations about the kind of forward-thinking changes his administration may bring. She has opinions about this legislation, and she also tends to back up her opinions with a lot of citations, because she is used to be challenged and disregarded by a certain cadre of men. She is well-read on the issue. Danny looks at her and asks: Why? To which she rolls her eyes again and just says: Don’t be such a guy, Danny. Because, let’s be fair, they’re friends now, and she knows he’s a decent guy, but he’s also been kind of vulgar with her enough times in a way that is very not politically correct. He says some chauvinistic things to her in the movie, and iirc I wrote that into the fic too, when he takes her out to whine about his crisis without actually telling her why he’s having a crisis? So she just assumes he might hold some bigoted views here. Not that she says so, and not that Danny realizes it from her dismissive answer — the turmoil currently in his head is so far away from what she assumes, that it doesn’t even occur to him that she might be expecting this from him. Anyway, he changes topics abruptly and says: Hey, so I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor. [Jo politely raises her eyebrows.] Danny: I wanna buy a house. Jo: [deadpan] Oh. Right. And I am notorious for my degree in real estate. Danny: [giving her one of his patented charming smiles] I need you to go house-shopping with me. Jo: [perplexed] What’s wrong with your current place? Danny: I – uh – I’m gonna sell it. Too many memories, too many ghosts. And I need – whaddaya call them – like, a family house? Somewhere you move into with your wife, and your kids, and your dog. Jo: You don’t have a wife, or kids, or a dog. Danny: That’s why I want you come with me. To play pretend. :) [Jo continues to just stare at him, not making this request easy on him in the slightest.] Jo: Danny… aren’t you… seeing someone? [Danny looks away ruefully. Seeing someone. That’s not what he’d call it. He doesn’t think of it as dating. Just living. Loving. Just life.] Danny: Maybe. Jo: So why are you asking me? Why aren’t you taking your mystery paramour that you’ve been hiding from Sam and myself? [And Danny swallows, and every cautionary protest that Jack has ever raised to him rears up all of its insecure hydra heads in his mind. And for a long moment he doesn’t say anything, and Jo just waits him out patiently.] [And then he looks at the magazine that she still has in her lap and he says…] Danny: Because. Because it’s a stupid law. [And Jo squares her back, startled, and looks at him all wide-eyed and then says, sounding kind of insulting tragic about it: Oh, Danny…]

But, yes. Of course, of course, she is fine with it.

And he doesn’t tell her it’s Jack — not that day, at least; not immediately. It’s one thing that he wants her to know about him and what’s going on with him, and that he’s actually sorta kinda queer, but he promised to never betray Jack’s confidence, and he will not unless Jack okays it.

Jo, of course, is not an idiot, and will draw the correct conclusion herself. Because who else could it possibly be, when Danny and Jack have been practically inseparable for months now. Not that she says so. She waits until he’s ready to tell her.

But, yes, they do go house-shopping. And yes, it does go smoother when the real estate person thinks it’s just a nice military couple in love, isn’t this nice, isn’t this proper.

Sam is… a different matter, I think, because they’ve been friends for much longer. And also because it’s an avuncular sort of friendship. Sam is older, and he took Danny under his wing when Danny was just this green snotty boy fresh out of law school. And it is kind of terrifying for Danny to fracture this closeness, and lose his respect, and ruin their friendship. In exactly the kind of way that Jack has been warning him against.

And, obviously, I don’t think that it will. But I do think Sam won’t know how to talk to Danny about it. Like, this is very much outside of his ballpark, and just because he doesn’t have any negative bias, doesn’t mean he knows how to be encouraging and overtly okay about it either. So I think for a while after Danny tells him they will just not talk about it at all. Which is not ideal. Because it makes Danny feel like maybe he isn’t okay about it. He doesn’t want it ignored. But Sam is finding it awkward. So it becomes this thing where: yeah / he knows / he’s okay with it / everything else is exactly the same, they work cases the same, they meet up the same, Danny is invited to their house the same, but they just never talk about It. And Sam is just avoiding the topic because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and he doesn’t think he has a right thing to say, but it will weigh on Danny a little bit — up until he has something like a minor tiff with Jack, over some of the things I mentioned above. The growing pains of the stuff they disagree about and have to work through. And Danny will be just stewing in it, and Sam will ask him what’s wrong, and Danny will reluctantly say that it’s about Jack, implying: maybe you don’t wanna hear it. And Sam will steel himself inwardly and say: okay maybe you can tell me about it. And Danny does, hesitantly at first, and then getting more and more into it, and it’s just, you know, very minor, very day-to-day, very human problems. And Sam will go, in his head: oh, actually, I do know how to talk about it, because it’s literally just relationship advice that is NO different from any type of marriage advice I would have given regardless of gender, because I myself am married; and also, bonus, I do know Jack personally, and understand his point of view as an unbiased observer in a way Danny cannot because he’s too close to it; so, actually, it turns out that talking about this doesn’t have any extra rules just because it’s two guys. And, as part of this conversation, they will just mend this little fracture in their relationship. Not that there was ever an actual argument to begin with, but things were a little strained in this area, and this finally solves it for them. And they don’t actually verbally acknowledge it in any way, but they both come away from that conversation knowing that things are more fine now than they were before.

B. I would actually very much like to revisit Jack’s backstory. Like, I wrote about him having NSA relationships before. Most of his encounters were very brief and mostly one-night-stands. But he had that relationship with his Drill Instructor, which Jack registers as a positive relationship, because he was a nice guy, and it was a continuous affair that lasted for some months. But that DI was also convinced that this is like the best that men like them can have in the military. That they don’t get to be in love, they can just form these transitory arrangements with people that they like, fuck around, and that’s it. And that’s how he chose to live his life, and that was enough for him — but it wasn’t for Jack, but he still internalized it as a true lesson about life, which contributed to his pitiful expectations for how life can and cannot be.

And then, present day, this same DI is accused of conduct unbecoming with a fellow female soldier. And there’s like an underlying political bullshit reason for it. Everything’s staged for reasons I did not determine, but some kind of a detective plot unraveling in the background, the internal politics of the place where the DI is stationed at the time. The charges are obviously bogus, but the guy can’t exactly say that it’s all bullshit since he’s gay, because that’s not a defense, that’s an immediate discharge for a completely different reason. And the case comes across their desk, it isn’t even intended for them, but Jack notices the name and he requests it from the Judge Advocate General.

And Jack is well-liked in the Corps because of his work ethic. And, you know how it is. Technically, you cannot investigate someone you may have a pre-existing knowledge of, like someone that you served with. It’s a conflict of interest. But in reality there’s enough personal feelings inside any organization that people are willing to kind of bend the rules. Nepotism has existed since the dawn of time. So the JAG agrees, but doesn’t give the case to Jack, he gives it to Kaffee — to avoid the immediate perception of any actual favoritism. But Jack is allowed to go with him as his secondary.

And Danny doesn’t understand at first why Jack wants this case, because the charge is kind of severe, and Jack disclosed to the JAG that he knew the defendant, so Danny just assumes it’s a case of “I know the man and he is incapable” vs. the reality of “maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought”. Danny is prepared to investigate with zero bias. And Jack is notoriously impartial, so Danny’s not exactly worried. He might not want to believe that a friend of his is capable, but if he is presented with enough evidence, he will pursue justice fully. Except then, of course, once they are alone and can talk freely and are riding out to their investigation, and Danny asks: how can you possibly know he didn’t do what they are saying he did? Jack comes out and says: ‘cause he’s gay. And Danny goes: oh. And realizes he has to brace himself for a very different kind of encounter.

I think, by that time, they are in a very good and stable place in their relationship. But it’s still always emotionally difficult to meet your current partner’s ex, especially if the parting was pretty amicable, so there aren’t any negative feelings there. Like, he’s not exactly threatened, he’s not exactly jealous, but it is a very palpable person he gets to measure himself against, with regards to Jack’s past choice of partner. And he doesn’t fully realize that he comes off very well in that comparison, because this is a relationship that set a very very low bar for Jack as far as expectations go. And for this DI to see Jack, and then eventually realize that the guy he came here with is not just a colleague, and not even just a guy he sleeps with, but that they have an actual committed relationship. It’s kind of a very tragic thing to see. That it was always possible, and he just never was brave enough to try. And for Jack it is also kind of cathartic to see this part of his life in retrospect and to see how far he’s come. I think it really crystallizes for him the difference from how he’s been at the beginning of his relationship with Danny, when he was more insecure about where they were going, as opposed to now, like a year plus down the line, where he knows that they are it. They’re practically married, in all ways that matter. That he is so secure in this relationship, and that the old anxieties and hurts no longer pain him.

=======

There were a couple of other things I’d written down, but I think this paints a clear enough picture and I should stop.

This is answer is now 7,000 words long. I am so good at social media.

This is why tumblr is the only website I am on. Shortform? Not in this house.

Thank you for coming to the Director’s Cut of AFGM. I hope the exhaustiveness of my answer made up for the wait. 🤍

[yuuana]

Music Monday #228: VICTON - Virus release: November 2022 genre: Kpop cw: intermittent bright flashing

Yeah, I know, I've been saying I'd feature this MV for how many weeks now? Several. Like, all month. And it was supposed to come up here even before that and then didn't because reasons of my health being complete shithouse for months now. But I am determined, dangnabit! And have some things to say.

Let's just say VICTON has been Going Through It over the last couple of years. Debuting in November 2016 as a seven member unit on Plan A (later Play M) Ent, VICTON has been on a steady if not very flashy progression, releasing several singles and EPs and one OST before finally putting out a full album in 2021, then changing companies to IST in 2022. It could have been a promising new phase - IST is among the more successful of the small labels - but between Chan's DUI investigation last September (and subsequent departure from the group) and then Subin, Hanse, and Byungchan being unable to come to satisfactory contract terms this past April (due to military service requirements, Seungsik, Seungwoo, and Sejun are still on their original contracts), there's a very real chance that we've hit the end of the road. There hasn't been an official disbandment notice, but it wouldn't be unprecedented for a group to have a silent disbanding. On the other hand, the industry also has yet to pull out a success with a group whose members are signed across different labels1, so while I'm still clinging to hope as an ALICE, I know that hope is quite thin indeed.

Getting back to the song itself, Virus isn't really fast enough to be called a proper dance beat while at the same time having too many EDM elements to be properly called a ballad either. The use of flanging on the members' voices works for me, but makes this a somewhat atypical track for a group whose fandom name is an "acronym" for Always We Love the Voice. XD The rest of the EP is more straightforwardly melodic while still being in that space between dance and ballad.

Maybe because of what happened in the two months ahead of its release, the video carries a certain melancholy feel to it that may or may not actually be warranted? This also only has the five members in it which, given the usual production cycle, makes me wonder if they weren't made to take an afternoon to redo the group scenes and then the whole thing re-edited to remove Chan's participation in it. My ear isn't tuned enough to tell if they re-recorded the EP as well - I suspect not, because that could have been a potentially huge expense, depending on where in the cycle they were when he was dismissed, but I really couldn't say.

Seungwoo (who was not part of this EP) has completed his service, but Seungsik and Sejun have only just started theirs (enlistments in March and June of this year, respectively). Given the contract issue and the low level expectation that Hanse and Byungchan will start their manditory service terms next year, if they are still able to work together, another comeback is likely to be some time off yet.

"Choice" is out now wherever you like to do your Kpop streaming and likely still available for physical purchase as well. If that EP tickles your fancy, I recommend giving the rest of their discography a try as well.

1. yes, I know there are groups doing the still-together-across-labels thing, but GOT7 has done one release this way and no one else has been doing it long enough to be called a success yet, so I stand by this claim.

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[nellie-elizabeth]

Okay, so, because I've completely lost my mind over Malex over the past couple of months, I started thinking about the "I love you" thing, the fact that in three seasons, despite the fact they've been in love with each other the WHOLE TIME, we never get a direct "I love you" spoken between them. I started to wonder how many times they confirm that love without directly saying it, and... it's a lot!

Just counting the examples where the word "love" is literally used, there are twelve, thirteen if you count one outlier that I'll explain below. Here they are in chronological order. Please do let me know if I missed any. This list does NOT include any of the pretty obvious love confessions that don't actually use the word "love" or "loved".

Season 1, Episode 9: “I loved you, and I think you loved me, for a long time.” / “Yeah.”

I am very enamored with the way Michael says "yeah", here. He's so resigned, like, this is the closest Alex has ever come to saying it, and yet it's in the past tense, and Michael is in this place right now where he can't really open himself up to the possibility of trying something with Alex again. It's such an angsty moment!

Season 1, Episode 12: “I don’t love you” / “You’re a miserable liar.”

OUCH the whole Caulfield scene destroys me of course. Michael trying to push Alex away by denying what's between them, and you can see it breaks Alex's heart to hear it, even though he knows it's not the truth.

Season 1, Episode 13: “I love him. Probably always will. But lately that love just hurts."

One of the most direct examples on this list. Not past tense, but present and also future, as Michael says he probably will always love Alex. This is the thing about them that I carry into season two. Even while Michael is dating Maria, there is nothing in the text to suggest that Michael has stopped loving Alex!

Season 2, Episode 6: “I felt… I felt…” / “Loved.” / “Yeah.”

This is one of my absolute favorites, although I know why people don't like it. After the threesome, Alex tries to explain what the night meant to him, and Michael saying "loved" here is SUCH a heavy and beautiful and melancholy touch! Alex felt loved, by Michael, and by Maria. It was, I think, a strange experience for all of them, but also healing in many ways. This is, however, the one and only point in all of season two where it feels like they're pulling away from Malex, this little scene the morning after feels like a goodbye, the closing of a door. Luckily, that doesn't last for long...

Season 2, Episode 9: “I know that you loved me.”

The softness, the adorableness, the fact that Michael called Alex and he came, the way there's no doubt in Alex's voice when he says this, the way Michael quietly accepts it. They way they both seem to know that they love each other still, but it's not quite enough to fix everything... ugh, this scene does stuff to me.

Season 2, Episode 10: “God, I loved you for it.”

Thank you to @itsjustmouse for reminding me that I forgot one, and it's from one of my absolute favorite scenes in the show, too! This scene between them is rife with so much tension and anger, Alex holding onto his fear that Michael will leave, and speaking his own truth about his belief that people can change. Michael is somewhat cruel here, honestly they both are, but the weight of their history is so on display! I love the way Michael says he can't let Alex leave with the consul, but then Alex calls his bluff. Considering Alex gets kidnapped right after this, I wonder if Michael replays this conversation in his head while he's building that bomb, wondering if it will be the last time he ever spoke to the love of his life...

Season 2, Episode 11: “And then I fell in love with your son.”

I MEAN. COME ON. Every time I think about 2x11 I scream. The fact that Michael and Alex are not together at this point, that Michael has a girlfriend and Alex is starting something with Forrest, and then THIS SPEECH?!?! Michael finding a sense of himself because of Alex, connecting with him, how that changed him for life... I die every time.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I know you fell in love with an alien.”

The outsider perspective on this. It kind of makes me laugh because HOW exactly does Eduardo know this? I guess Michael and Alex aren't nearly as subtle as they'd like to think. I also like this moment because it seems to trigger Alex's decision to finally come clean and speak his heart during 3x08. He realizes that his love for Michael is an asset to him in his work with Deep Sky, that if the point is to find a way to communicate with aliens, maybe he should go and... communicate with aliens.

Season 3, Episode 9: “Your father’s hatred is stronger than your capacity to love.”

This is Alex's own brain attacking him, telling him that the fact that he loves Michael isn't going to be enough to combat all the damage Jesse has done to his psyche over the years. And he's wrong, his love is strong enough, but I love that he's having these doubts. The continued star-crossed narrative of Michael and Alex, the way their families have been the opposing forces through the years, it never fails to make me emotional.

Season 3, Episode 12: “So you do love someone as much as you love Nora.”

I love the idea that the whole time Jones has Michael trapped with him, Michael is focusing on keeping Jones away from Alex. Jones already knows about Isobel, Max, Sanders… Alex is the one loved one that Michael has that he might still be able to protect from Jones! And it takes a stab wound for Jones to break through Michael’s defenses! Also, we know how much Michael admires his mother, depends on her to create his sense of self, so for Jones to acknowledge that Michael’s love for Alex is on that same level is huge.

Season 3, Episode 13: “Tough conversations with the people who love us.”

This is such a great Max and Michael scene. I like how Max (and therefore the show itself) acknowledges Alex and Michael as a parallel and equally strong love story as Max and Liz. Both men need to find a way to talk to their partners about their fears, and both do!

Season 3, Episode 13: “I need you to know, if this goes bad tomorrow, I love—” and “...are you gonna love me then?”

As funny as it is that Alex cuts Michael off here, I kind of get it. They both already know they love one another. This is not news, not a revelation. But their relationship is so new, at least this iteration of it. I like the idea that they’ve both sort of held back from saying the actual words, saving it for a special moment. And here, Alex doesn’t want that special moment to be when Michael thinks he might be saying goodbye.

>>> And a bonus, this one is far less clear: Season 2, Episode 5: “And before you ask, yeah, I’m totally in love with Isobel.” <<<

I'm throwing this one in here mostly for fun... it's during the 2x05 flashback moment, when Alex asks Michael if he's in love with Max, and later Michael jokingly says he's in love with Isobel, all while looking at Alex as if he's the whole entire universe. I think it's pretty easy to read this moment as Michael saying "come on, we both know who I'm in love with, and it's certainly not Isobel or Max Evans." I don't think it's necessarily the only way to read this moment, though, you could just say it's a cute little joking moment, mocking Alex for his bad take on Max and Michael's relationship. Still, either way it's ADORABLE.

~~~~~~~~~

So anyway. That's a long list of love, even without a direct "I love you". What drives me crazy about this pairing is that this doesn't even include so many times that they essentially confess their love without using the word itself. Just off the top of my head, you've got:

"I never look away" / "I don't look away, Guerin."

Alex's entire song, but especially "It's you I'm fighting for" and "You were the best of me / you are the best of me."

"We connected like something... cosmic"

"I joined Deep Sky for you, Michael [...] so I have to try. For you. For us."

"You are the one piece I cannot go through life without"

"I got you, I always got you."

Michael's whole speech in 3x10, especially "feels different between us now." / "It's better. But it's still..." / "Cosmic?" / "Yeah." and of course: "Alexander Manes, I'm home."

And I'm sure many others.

Anyway, what was the point of this post? Idk, I'm just over here having feelings. Someone who knows how to make gif sets should gif all the "love" moments!

[klixxy]

Genshin Fic Recs

so... i ventured into the vast world of Google looking for some good GI fic recs... only to find such a pitiful amount that i was promptly devastated. therefore, the solution is to make my own! :D

keep in mind most of these will be ChiLi or XingYun, and yes, i will try not to include smut unless it was one i really really liked. if anyone wants a separate list for just smut (though that will most likely be shorter) i can try to make one later.`

ft. my bookmark comments :)

CHILI

wrapped up in pure gold by beyondwinter

(chili; accidental marriage; chili/childe-centric; 22k words; ongoing)

"Do you understand its meaning, Childe?" He finally asks. There's a hard glint in his eyes, like he's trying to steel himself for his answer.

"Yeah." Loyalty and devotion, right? Between business partners? "I do. It's traditional, isn't it?"

Zhongli's eyes glow a warm amber in the near darkness, reflecting the soft shine of the lanterns. He studies his face with a strange intensity, as though Childe were a piece of high quality Nocticulous Jade being sold for suspiciously small sum and he's trying to find the blemishes that would explain the price. The weight of his gaze should be uncomfortable, boring into him like he can see into the very depths of his abyss-tainted soul, but Childe finds himself preening under the attention instead.

Childe accidentally proposes to Zhongli. Zhongli accepts.

The World is Water by Millereflets

(chili; smut; hurt/comfort; chili-centric; 7k words; oneshot)

Childe doesn't visit Zhongli until it's almost too late.

(my bookmarks: HOW DO YOU MAKE A SMUT SCENE SO POETIC HOLY SHITTTTT)

Set in Stone by seredemia

(chili; fake dating au; angst; some smut?; chili/chiilde-centric; 55k words; ongoing)

What do you do when you write about a certain six thousand year old consultant so much in your letters that it somehow convinces your entire family you're not only dating each other, but that you're also engaged?

In Childe's case, the answer is plain and simple: he goes along with it, of course. Absolutely nothing can go wrong if he makes a contract with the God of Contracts, vowing that the two of them will pretend to be lovers for the duration of his family's stay in Liyue. Afterwards, they'll return as normal and speak no more of this mess. No feelings or complications involved whatsoever.

Contract accepted. A fool-proof plan set in stone. Right?

Private Ledger of the Eleventh Harbinger by JuHuaTai

(chili; humor; getting together; chili/ekaterina-centric; 5k words; oneshot)

“So guess what I did next?”

Ekaterina contemplated not answering, but Harbinger Tartaglia was just… grinning and waiting. It’s honestly rather creepy the longer time passed.

In the end, she gave a long suffering sigh that seems lost on him, “You bought him the Erhu—“

“I bought him the antique, cor lapis based Erhu,”

-

When she first left her homeland for the unknown nation of Liyue, Ekaterina was ready to be many things: To be a soldier, to fell Tsaritsa’s enemies in her name, to bring glory to Snezhnaya and her leader.

Being a receptionist in a cozy bank wasn’t so bad in comparison, but she absolutely can do without the front row seat to Harbinger Tartaglia’s (expensive) love life.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

(chili; humor; fluff; chili-centric; 12k words; ongoing)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly." Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-" Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?" Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

CHILIVEN

Crumbling Stone by avtorSola

(chiliven; ANGST; PAIN; mind control; zhongli-centric; 74k words; ongoing)

When Morax unleashes his plan to test the Liyue Qixing and his adepti, he does not take into account the stirring of the Abyss Order in the north and the corruption of Dvalin - for why would he fear an organization that works in such shadows? He is secure in his power, after all, unlike his flighty ex, the absentee archon of Mondstadt who rises only when his people are in danger.

But, somehow, the Abyss Order discovers his plan. Somehow, they capitalize on it. And he, the God of Stone who cannot sicken, is struck down - taken by an order bent on destroying all of humanity as Liyue crumbles around him. For even Archons aren't immune to Durin's blood, and Morax is no exception. But then the question becomes - if even Archons may fall to the agony of this corrupting burn - how is their traveling friend Aether immune?

The answer comes from beyond the stars - an ancient malice that knows no kindness or mercy. A malice whose legacy the Abyss Order now bears, seeking to topple all the Archons and their people into the void of utter destruction. And they have begun in Liyue.

Fortunately, it takes a long time to erode stone.

(my bookmarks: IM SCREAMING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

PLATONIC ZHONGVEN

left-behind city by trixstar

(platonic zhongven; angst; ANGST; venti-centric; 1k words; oneshot)

"An associate of mine has just informed me that Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon has been assassinated."

Venti blinks.

Or: Venti and how he copes with finding out he is all that remains.

i circle ten thousand years long; and i still do not know if i am a falcon, a storm, or an unfinished song by birdsofpassage

(platonic zhongven; angst; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 4k words; oneshot)

Venti and Zhongli, and the vignettes of a much-needed vacation around Mondstadt.

(my bookmarks: ; - ;      ;  -  ; )

oh ye with little faith by air_fried_air

(platonic zhongven; angst; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

Two former archons do a little tour around Mondstadt.

(my bookmarks: why are all genshin angst fics so melancholy.... i feel so empty)

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

(platonic zhongven; humor; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 21k words; finished)

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

(my bookmarks: venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship-)

XINGYUN

the art of exorcism by Agried

(xingyun; ghost au; hurt/comfort; chongyun-centric; 9k words; oneshot)

On the road back from one of his jobs, Chongyun runs into Xingqiu, the wandering swordsman. And then they keep meeting, over and over again. or, alternately; how a ghost and an exorcist learn how to love, one step at a time.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

(xingyun; humor; romance; chongyun-centric; 24k words; hiatus)

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

[On indefinite hiatus due to burnout; sorry!]

kiss me slowly (so i don't forget) by xiwangmu

(xingyun; humor; romance; light angst; xingqiu-centric; 8k words; oneshot)

Wangshu Inn Bulletin Board

Guest Message: My best friend whom I harbor affections for kissed me last night, but due to his special condition he does not recall a single moment of it. I am quite conflicted about whether to disclose these events to him or not, because that would most certainly require me to confess my feelings as well. If anyone has experience in romancing boys with excessive positive energy, this one humbly asks you to share some advice.

Reply: Our greatest apologies—although we would like to offer some words in response, we simply cannot decipher your handwriting. Perhaps you may return with a neater message next time?

time trials by idlestars

(xingyun/many ships; humor; modern au; xingyun-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

A modern social media AU.

Xingqiu Teases Demons. Chongyun Almost Cries. [The clip shows Xingqiu, lit by the sickly green of night vision, as he stares bored into a dark room. He’s alone - Chongyun left to see if Xingqiu could lure out the ghosts. Xingqiu glances at the camera, smirks, and then opens his mouth.

“Hey demons, it’s me, yah boy.”]

OTHER/GEN

woe be the wallet of the god of wealth by glassdrachma

(gen; humor; identity reveal; keqing/zhongli-centric; 12k words; finished)

Or, the story of how the Yuheng of the Qixing came to idolize, befriend, and discover the identity of the God of Geo, in that order.

(personal comments: hilarious, made me burst out into laughter multiple times, and was just a masterful piece of writing)

to dream of dust by miao_x

(guili/gen; ANGST; hurt/no comfort; zhongli-centric; 5k words; oneshot)

Some nights, Zhongli dreams.

He dreams of soft light, golden song, and a gentle breeze whispering tales of millennia past. It is warm, familiar, and comforting.

It feels like home.

And then he opens his eyes, and awakes to reality.

(my bookmarks: oh zhongli... made me cry)

To drown in your own tears by C_rin_nyan

(guili/gen; ANGST; TEARS; PAIN; zhongli-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

As Rex Lapis, he had never shed a tear, even as he slaughtered hundreds, destruction following his every step. As Zhongli, he had shed much more than he would like to admit, however.

Or, “Zhongli’s soul gave its last scream long ago, yet even now, the echo of said sound was still strong enough to reach Rex Lapis.”