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#then I am absolutely not doing another comic cause I get sucked in and don’t have as much time to learn
foldingfittedsheets · 8 months
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The semester started and my sleep schedule instantly crumbled. My fatigue has come roaring back and I get to reacclimatize to the bottom of my energy reserves.
On the upside, I have 6/13 pages completed. I’m gonna post the first half for Ko-fi members when I finish 7 pages.
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monsterfloofs · 2 years
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Heyo! I figured I'd celebrate being able to make requests without using anon with something fun, so…
Could I request a classic "there’s only one bed and we have to share" scenario? Preferably with a big boi monster that fills up most of that bed. NSFW or SFW fluff or anything in the middle is fine with me.
Luv ya monsterfloofs!! ❤️
Ahhhh Ash dear!!! ♡♡♡ Congratulations again on your new blog hun!! I am so happy to see you in my inbox, and I hope you get lots of awesome people that come and visit you!! I had a lot of fun doing such an absolute delight of a scenario! And I hope I can work on this big baby some more sometime! They feel like such a grumpy but lovely babe!! A little suggestive, but nothing full out naughty. =//D One day I wanna get back to writing nsfw stuff, been feeling shy about posting it-- so for now a cute lil thing with a big cranky fella who likes to act tough but is kinda a softie. ヽ(*ᵔ▿ᵔ)ノ
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Unknown Monster (Unnamed) x Anonymous Protagonist (Sfw)
The growl that emanates from them, makes your own throat vibrate. Watching their muscular shoulders tense as they pull their shoulder blades back. The rippling popping noise of their back causing you to you bite your lip, eyebrows raising in concern. “Fine.” They snarl at you, voice muffled, “But I am not going to act like I am enjoying any of this.” You stop, mind thinking of a potential snappy comeback before you bubble out your lips in a goofy pout. You shrug and silently throw up your hands. Alright, alright, that’s fair I guess. It is your bed! 
“Are you coming?” You pull another comical face, eyes going wide as you gesture an answer. They can’t see you, and you feel that responding silently like this is the best option. Not wanting to upset the hulking mass of tear-you-apart-like-a-toothpick.
You can hear the faint growl of disapproval as you carefully turn sideways and do your best to fit yourself beside the large creature. The most room on the bed laying where the curve of their back is resting. Eyes squeezing tight for a moment as you mentally rewrite your will. There isn’t a lot of space and you can feel yourself beginning to tip slightly, and so without thinking, your arms reach around their back, pulling yourself closer to them.
The soft grumpy growling comes to a shuddering halt. You suck in a breath of air, bowing your head against their back. Waiting for a few seconds before you breathe a sigh of relief. Whew. So far so g–
And that’s when they roll over, you give a squeak as you are forced to let go. You come face to face with their maw and their two mouths, jaws pulling back to reveal blue gums and sharp rows of teeth in a snarl, four eyes glaring at you. 
You slowly lean backwards to give them space, finding yourself once again tipping off the bed. They snort and pull you forward, so that you lay against their chest and throat, flinching as a hand reaches out to softly touch their shoulder for support. 
“Thank you,” You manage to breathe. You weren’t sure why they had been so testy about you laying against them, laying curled up against their chest felt way more intimate to you. Especially being so close to the deep thudding heartbeat that resonated just below their throat. They chuff at you but don’t respond, closing their eyes as their arms rest curled around you.
You sweat profusely and wonder if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep.
Somehow against all odds, you managed to doze. Head resting just inches from their chest. You awoke the next morning nuzzling your face against them. A deep and rumbly purr emanating from their chest as they snooze on. They aren’t so scary after all, you muse softly to yourself, hands softly petting their collar. Though as the purring stops you quickly pretend to play dead. Feigning sleep the best that you can as they grunt, and shift in bed. You can feel eyes staring daggers down at you before their head bows, feeling a soft hush of wind as they snap their teeth at you right beside your ear. The soft click clack of gnashing bone before you feel the bed creaking underneath you. 
You feel your cheeks grow hot, feeling a mixture of surprise, awe, and flustered that you have never felt before. You are pretty sure that champing their teeth in that manner, was an affectionate gesture. You’re not sure how much longer you can feign pretending to sleep now.
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Hey you! Yeah, you!
Enjoy what I write? I have a tip jar!ヽ(*ᵔ▿ᵔ)ノ
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purplekiwis · 3 years
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OMG YES! Damaged goods blurb! Can you do a fluff one where one of them is sick with seasonal flu and the other has to take care of them, but they're being stubborn about it because that's just what they do and how they are 🤧
Okay, okay... here she is! It's a bit meh I think, but I hope you like it! 🥰
*
Harry is sick and grumpy, and Y/N takes care of him (from the Damaged Goods AU)
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Harry feels miserable.
He’s worse than miserable, really,
because he has a cold… or is it the flu?! He has never known to spot the differences between the two, but he recognized all of the early signs, of course...
As per usual, it started with nothing but a sore throat one morning when he woke up, that ended up lingering throughout the whole day, then came a headache, and the tiredness, and the chills…
It wasn’t so unbearable at first… but the symptoms only kept getting worse and worse as the hours went by, to the point of leaving him with no choice but to skip his classes in favor of staying in bed… suffering.
The worst part about it? He wasn’t even suffering at home – where his mom could be taking her lips to his forehead every so often to see if he had a fever, and bringing him bowls of soup and fruit cubes on that same familiar bedtray that had accompanied him throughout all his periods of sickness.
Mom would also be making sure he stayed hydrated and took his medicine in time... which by the way, he wasn’t taking any. Logically speaking, Harry knew he should have gone to a pharmacy by now, to get something to make him feel better, but how? When he couldn't even muster the will to get up and go downstairs to fill the empty water bottle perched on his nightstand.
He couldn’t move.
Every single inch of his body hurt.
And now he was starting to get shivery under his bedclothes... for fucks sake.
If only he had Pepper, his spaniel mutt puppy, around to snuggle and keep his body cozy and warm like a hot water bag... then perhaps Harry would've been in a better mood. Yeah, definitely. Pepper would've let him bury his snotty face into its soft fur, and not even think to complain if its owner left a puddle of guck all over said fur.
But well, Pepper isn't there.
And being sick sucks.
Especially because Harry really wants some cuddles... and it hasn't been helping his case whatsoever that in this trying day of illness, his mind has done nothing but think of Y/N.
Pondering over what outfit she must have worn that day and what she might be up to while he’s laying there on his deathbed. He also wonders if she has noticed his absence, and if so… if she’s worried about him.
He huffs once he checks his phone again and realizes there are still no messages from her. She doesn’t have to check on him. He knows that, but he can't help that he likes to be cared for sometimes… and as it turns out illness has a tendency to turn him into a big, needy baby... who really wants to have Y/N taking care of him. It would be so good. She could play with his hair the way he likes, give him forehead kisses, hold his hand…
Harry sighs out loud. Her company would be even better than Pepper's, he believes... although Harry isn't so sure Y/N would enjoy having his snot on her as much as his trusty pup would, but that’s beside the point.
It’s even more beside the point because he knows she's not coming to see him.
She’s mad at him, he recalls now. Stupidly so, if he's allowed to think that - he did nothing wrong, after all. She asked him for a “brutally honest opinion” on a design work she was doing for one of her classes, and he simply gave her what she asked for, plain as that. But of course, then she didn’t like what he had to say and got sulky. Just girls being girls, he guesses…
Harry should've known better than to think that would stop her from coming to see him, though. His girl was a little box of surprises, after all... a true master in the art of keeping him on his toes.
She showed up only half an hour after she was done with her classes... softly knocking on his door before poking her head inside with a smile, only for her jaw to drop in shock at the absolute misery that oozed from his pores.
“Y/N…” His voice cracked sickly, almost comically. Harry could have laughed at it if he wasn't so utterly lethargic. “What- what are you doing here?”
“Well, what do you think?” The girl huffed, shutting the bedroom door behind her and heading towards the end of the bed to get a good look at him, hands on her hips. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Here I was, going about my day thinking you had slept in for being a bum, only to find out through your friends that you were unwell.”
Harry bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hide his downright amusement at her worried state. Y/N was worried about him? Well then, perhaps her irritation had passed and she had forgiven him… which meant maybe he’d get to have those cuddles he wanted so bad. “I thought you were mad at me?” He poked, eyebrows arching teasingly the best they could with the little energy the muscles on his face could muster.
“Well, I was and am now even more.” She punctuated. “But I still care, obviously. How am I supposed to leave you by yourself when you look like that?” She put down the bag she was holding at the edge of the bed and kneeled next to it on the floor.
“Look like what?” He frowned again. “All snotty and gross?”
“Precisely… and an awful lot like Rudolph the reindeer as well.” Y/N added, with a soft pat to the tip of his swollen, red nose.
Harry smiled at that, right before his eyes fell on the bag over his bed. “Did you go to the store to get those creepy sheet masks you wanted?”
“Huh?” She muttured confused, before noticing where he was looking at. “Oh no, um… these are just some things I got for you. Just vitamins and those gummies for when you have a sore throat, and also uh…” Y/N's cheeks went a little hot. “I got some chicken soup from the buffet restaurant as well, you know… the one next to the drug store. I thought it might do you good…”
“You went to get all that stuff for me?” Harry asked, Y/N hummed happily in confirmation, her eyes gleaming with tenderness. “Y/N... you shouldn't have. That shit is so expensive, and I'm fine, really. It's just a cold. You dont have to worry, let alone take care of me.”
“No offence, but I think I do.” The girl challenged his statement, picking up the halfway used toilet paper roll placed on his nightstand. “For a start, you shouldn’t even be using this to blow your nose. It’ll only irritate your skin and make it more sore.”
Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “That’s such a mum thing to say…” He grumbled in attempt to mask the fact that the secret big, needy baby in him was loving every single bit of the mom talk, and the same applies to when Y/N clicked her tongue chastisingly once he stubbornly snatched the roll off her hand and pulled out some more paper.
She took the chance that he had moved his arm to move a bit closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his pillow. “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” She asked, lovingly running her digits through his unwashed curls. They felt a little waxy and knotty in her hands, but she didn’t mind it in the slightest. She just wanted to make him feel better in any way she could. So she kept playing with his hair, scratching at the roots and combing her fingers through his strands just the way she knew he reveled in - only breaking contact once she was almost certain that he had fallen asleep on her... However, as soon as Y/N began to pull her hand away to check her phone, Harry let out a whine and bumped his forehead against her wrist, in a silent request for her to keep going. “You're such a baby sometimes…” Y/N whispered, proceeding to fulfill his wish.
“Mhm... your baby.” He sighed happily.
Y/N smiled to herself at the state of pure bliss Harry was in. So utterly distracted by the slow puffy nature of his breaths, that she almost didnt notice that his droopy eyes had opened and were now fixed on her. He cleared his throat painfully. “Y/N... can I have one of those gummies you got? My throat hurts and I really want to try one.”
Y/N let out a tiny chuckle at the pleading tone he'd used, nodding as she got up to grab the bottle from the bag. She threw it at him playfully to catch midair, knowing that his reflexes were outstanding. “Ohh these seem nice. I love lemon and honey flavored shit.” He told her whilst inspecting the label.
“Yeah?” Y/N couldn’t help but to grin, feeling quite proud of herself for picking the right flavor. But her smile quickly melted into an expression of concern once she watched Harry crack open the bottle and carelessly throw a bunch of gummies into his mouth. “Harry! What are you- that’s not candy! You can’t eat them by the handful!”
“Oi, chill out… it’s just gummies. What wrong could it do?” He asked as he blithely chewed them. Words coming out garbled since he was speaking in between a mouthful.
“Oh, I don't know, perhaps there could be anesthetics in them... but who knows? It was just a thought.” Y/N ironized.
“Really?” He made a wry face similar to hers, inspecting the label closer. “Do you think we can get high on this shit?” He smirked, still chewing as he rolled the container around to check the ingredients in the back. “Cause I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like a pretty good afternoon plan to me...” He half joked, cracking the bottle open again and dropping a couple more gummies in his palm.
Y/N heaved at the suggestion. “I think it’s more likely that you get a terrible bellyache, and we end up in the ER...”
“You really think so?” Harry asked teasingly, taking another gummy to his mouth.
“Okay, that's enough. Give me that.” Y/N demanded, pushing for him to pass the container, but all he did was shake his head with a mischievous, defiant smirk. The girl rolled her eyes at him. “You know what? Fine.” She shrugged. “Eat as many as you want. Can't wait to watch you shit the bed once those anesthetics give you a loose bottom.”
He chuckled at the warning, amused. “If you’re so bothered, why don’t you come get them from me?” He questioned, but before he could prepare himself Y/N jumped on the bed to try and take the bottle away from his hands, what forced him to abruptly sit up and hold it over his head just so she couldn’t reach it from where she sat. “That was... real cute. Is that all you got, hm?”
Y/N huffed and crawled over his legs until she was practically on his lap. Seeing right through his facade once he happily handed off the gummies without putting up a fight and wrapped his arms around her middle to pull her in for a hug instead. “You must think you're so sly, don't you?” She mumbled in question, going back to petting his hair. “If you wanted a cuddle, you could’ve just said so… I don't mind your germs.”
“I was trying to behave to avoid getting you sick, actually…”
“Yeah right...” Y/N grumbled, dropping her head on his shoulder for a moment. “But I guess, since you've already passed me the germs and all... might as well just give me a kiss, no?” She proposed shyly, waiting for Harry to make the move. He did, pulling away slightly and placing his lips in hers softly. “Mm, more.” She pouted.
“Greedy.” He joshed, pecking the girl's lips again, and again... and once more for good measure. The damage was already done, after all... they might as well just keep doing it. “I feel disgusting, though. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve at least taken a shower and brushed my teeth. Can’t believe you still want to kiss me when I am like this.”
Y/N scratched at the frizzy hairs of his nape. “I promise you don't smell or look nearly as bad as you think you do… and you taste like lemon and honey so, that’s nice.” Harry distrustfully scrunched up his nose at her allegation, sniffing up some in the process before his digits rushed to grab some more toilet paper. He took it to his nose, blowing noisily. “Alright, snotty boy…” Y/N laughed, swiftly crawling off his lap. “How about I go downstairs to plate up our soup while you pick a movie for us to watch as we eat? It can be one of those “guy movies” and all, I promise I won't complain... today only, cause I'm giving you privilege for being sick.”
His eyes strayed towards you with interest, the lower half of his face still covered behind the poorly ripped toilet paper sheets. “I was actually thinking more like a musical or a pixar movie, maybe?”
“God, Harry.” Y/N gasped in awe. “I swear I've never felt more attracted to you in my life. Snot and everything.”
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fruitcoops · 3 years
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Could you maybe do that part 5 of truth or drink you alluded to?? :) with Jules and the lupins and basically Jules spilling ALLL of re’s secrets & Marley loving it 🥰
Oh, Jules, how I missed you. The truth or drink referenced in this ask is here (it's been an age since I did one, wow!) and SW credit of course goes to @lumosinlove!
“Please can we have alcohol?” Jules swung his legs under the table with wide, pleading eyes.
Marlene barked a laugh. “Over my dead body, baby Loops.”
“It would be,” Remus agreed with a teasing grin.
“Welcome back to Lion Pride, both of you,” she said, ruffling their hair. Both scrunched their faces up in identical expressions of displeasure. “There are fifteen cards in your deck, and if you don’t want to answer the question, you have to take a drink of apple juice. Not alcohol.”
“You used to be cool,” Jules sulked. Marlene rolled her eyes and Remus reached over to flick his ear. “Hey, that hurt!”
“No, it did not.”
“I’m gonna tell mom you hit me.”
Remus turned to Marlene with a long-suffering look. “Can I have alcohol?”
“Get crackin’, boys, the world wants to know your secrets.” She tapped the deck of cards with a wink and wandered behind the cameras again.
“Alright, here we go.” Remus sighed. “My name is Remus Lupin, I’m the Lions’ right wing, and I’m here with my baby brother to answer some questions. Take it away, Jules.”
“I’m not a baby,” Jules clarified to the camera. “I’m twelve. Who’s the most attractive sibling?”
Remus frowned. “Me? Just ‘cause I’m older.”
“As if.”
“Oh my god,” he muttered, reaching for his own card. “Oh, this should be fun. Name your favorite parent.”
“Dad,” Jules answered without hesitating. Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“First, you’re not supposed to answer that fast, and second, what?”
“Dad’s cool!”
“Dad is not cool!” Remus laughed. “I don’t have a favorite parent—”
“Liar.”
“—but mom is the cool one. Dad’s a dork, and we love him for it.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe this. Mom would literally do anything for you. She learned to skate for you.”
“It’s not like I don’t love mom!” Jules protested as he took a new card. “I love her so much! And I know mom is your favorite, so it’s only fair. Which of us is the most successful, and which is the screwup?”
“I don’t have a favorite parent,” Remus insisted, leaning back in his seat. “And neither of us are screwups.”
“You’re more successful.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re a screwup. It means you’re twelve. Who’s the overachiever?”
“You,” Jules snorted. “You’re such a nerd. It’s embarrassing. What’s the meanest thing I did to you when we were kids?”
Remus rested his chin on his hand and thought for a moment, then turned to look behind the camera. “Since we were only kids together for, like, three years, can I say something from a little later?”
“Anything before age 25,” Marlene called.
He nodded decisively. “Sweet. In that case, it’s the time this little monster let a rat into the house, freaked out when he didn’t know what to do, then locked it in my bedroom and didn’t tell anyone until I went to bed and something ran across my sheets.”
Jules shrugged. “You survived.”
“Yeah, and you almost didn’t.”
“So dramatic,” he muttered.
Remus whacked him over the head with the next card before reading it. “Oh, god. Share the most mortifying memory you have of me. If you drink that apple juice and don’t answer, I’ll get you ice cream on the way home.”
Jules leaned back with a hum, already grinning. “Let’s see…”
“No,” Remus groaned.
“Probably—” Jules broke off to giggle. “Probably when you took me into the locker room to meet the team and the whole time I was talking to Sirius, you looked like you were about to melt into the floor. You had this stupid grin on your face—”
“Shut up.”
“—and almost tripped over your own feet, like, four times. This was before you guys were dating, too.”
“You are the worst,” Remus said, though his voice was muffled by his forearms. “Next question?”
“I can keep going. There was the time you gave yourself a black eye hanging Christmas lights, and when you bounced off an enforcer when you tried to check him, and when mom asked you to defrost the chicken for dinner and you forgot so you put it in the microwave and almost set the house on fire, and—“
“Marlene.” Remus raised his head with a pitiful look. “Please make him stop. Please.”
“Okay,” Marlene laughed, a little breathless. “Alright, one sec. Jules, your turn.”
“Ugh, fine. Do you let me win at things?”
“When you were five, sure.” Remus tilted his head to the side. “Otherwise, no. Do you want me to let you win?”
“I’d be so upset if you did. I only get better because I want to kick your ass one day.”
“Language. Am I a good brother?”
“Well, yeah,” Jules said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He blinked at Remus, clearly confused. “Duh. You’re weird and annoying, but you’re one of my top three favorite people?”
“Before or after dad?” Remus teased, but it was soft with fondness.
Jules narrowed his eyes and leaned his elbows on the table. “Wouldn’t you like to know. Have I ever disappointed you?”
“Never. I don’t think you could if you tried. Who’s smarter?”
“Me.” Remus gave the camera a disbelieving look as Jules took a new card. “Ha! I like this one. Which of us was a mistake?”
“Oh, that is a good one. Honestly, I don’t think either of us were planned. Mom and dad definitely weren’t expecting a kid at 21 and 25, and absolutely weren’t planning on another one fifteen years later.”
Jules cast the camera a bright smile. “Oops!”
“But we’re their best mistakes,” Remus said solemnly with the ghost of a smile, as if he was repeating a sentiment that had been said many times before. “Okay, I need to have a talk with whoever set up these questions. Do an impersonation of me, or drink to—”
“Oh, look at me, I’ve got a fancy degree,” Jules mimicked, dropping his voice comically low. “I’m so cool, I’ve got a secret boyfriend and I’m not gonna tell anyone about it for three whole months even though I suck at keeping secrets. I’m tall, so I’m gonna grab my awesome little brother by the ankles and shake him around—”
“You asked me to—”
“Shh! I’m not done!”
Remus gave him an incredulous look. “They get the point!”
Jules stuck his tongue out, but grabbed a new card from the stack. “What are your best and worst memories of mom and dad?”
“Aw, man.” Remus tapped his short stack of cards on the table and bit his lip. “Best and worst…best would probably be Christmas two or three years ago, when we all went skating on the lake.”
“That’s a good one,” Jules mused.
“It’s hard to think of my worst memory of them. Um, maybe after I stopped playing hockey in college? There was a lot of walking on eggshells and it was really uncomfortable.”
Remus read the next card and his frown dissolved into laughter; he reached for the apple juice and filled both glasses to the brim, then pushed them across the table to Jules without a word. “What are these for? You have to read the card, dummy.”
“The most spoiled sibling has to drink,” Remus said with a wide grin.
“It’s not me!” Jules protested, though it was weak. “You were an only child for fifteen years!”
“Yeah, and?” His amusement only grew as Jules struggled to make a comeback. “See, you can’t even deny it! You’re the baby of the family and everybody loves you. How many times have you been to Gryffindor?”
Jules opened and closed his mouth a few times, going red with indignance.
“How many?” Remus’ expression was pure glee. “Buddy, I didn’t leave Wisconsin for anything other than roadies until you were old enough to travel, and then mom and dad had to show you off to everyone.”
“They love you, too!”
“I know they do,” Remus laughed. “They’re great parents and we both had amazing childhoods. You’re still the more spoiled one.”
“I don’t like this game,” he muttered as he drank one of the glasses. “And I’m not drinking that other one. Okay, last question. Should we see more of each other?”
“Of course,” Remus said. “I wish we lived closer to each other all the time. Do you think so?”
Jules reached for the glass, then burst out laughing when Remus’ jaw dropped. “Oh, I got you so good! But yeah, I miss you a ton during the school year.”
“You little…” Remus bit back his threat and ruffled Jules’ hair despite his protests, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. “Keep that up and you’re gonna get flipped again.”
“You wouldn’t. Not on camera.”
“Try me.”
Jules bolted from his seat and tried to make a run for it, but Remus was faster—he caught him around the waist, hefted him under one arm, and turned him around until he could get ahold of his skinny ankles. “No!” Jules shrieked through his giggling as Remus started swinging him lightly back and forth. “No, no, put me down!”
“Just making sure you really don’t want to see more of me,” Remus said, alight with happiness. Jules’ fingers nearly touched the ground. “You’re almost too big for this.”
“Good,” Jules wheezed. “Are we done yet?”
Remus looked back to the camera. “Thanks for tuning into Lion Pride, everyone. Make sure to like and subscribe if you want a slow-motion tutorial on how to transform your little brother into an emergency pendulum.”
“No!”
“Can you get down by yourself?”
Jules stretched his arms toward the floor, but Remus pulled him up an inch just as his fingertips brushed the tile. “Hey! Stop it!”
“Stop what?”
“Pulling me up!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Remus said, adding another inch.
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nctsjiho · 3 years
Text
Dive Into You
warnings: strong langue
era: summer 2020
❀ When the members find themselves in a less than ideal situation Mark has to assert his dominance over the younger members in some way
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“Guys~ I think I have some bad news.” The car engine sputtered a few times causing the 4 boys to look at JiHo with worried expressions. “What’s that?” Renjun asked, who was sat in the passenger’s seat next to JiHo. He watches as JiHo’s lips turn into a tight-lipped smile and the cars starts going slower, and slower, until it ultimately reaches a complete stand still. “So we might have run out of gas.”
The boys in the back seat groan, unable to process the situation they were currently in. “How?! You said we’d be fine on gas!” Renjun immediately fired at her. “Excuse you, we would’ve been okay if we stopped at the gas station earlier, but you suck at giving directions so guess where we didn’t go.” She didn’t make eye contact with the boy, only staring out in front of her, her voice laced with an extremely sarcastic mocking tone.
“Uh-uh.” Renjun pushed himself up from his comfortable position in the seat to face JiHo completely. “Maybe it’s you who sucks at taking directions!” “No I don’t.” “You totally do!” Before the two could go on with their childish back and forth Mark put his hand between the two young adults – how are these kids adults already? “Let’s not, okay? Whoever’s fault it is, we’re here now and we need to find a way to get back home.”
Renjun sighs and plops himself back in his seat, but not without Jiho noticing the exaggerated roll of his eyes which she gladly mimics. “Well it’s definitely JiHo’s fault.” The Chinese member mumbles. However the rest of the car clearly heard it and they all groan. “You’re such a child.” The girl scoffed and then turned her head to look outside of the window.
It’s quiet for a few minutes in the front of the car, while Mark, Haechan and Jeno contemplate their options. Since they were stranded in the middle of nowhere, they didn’t have any reception on their phones and most of them were on the brink of dying. “We’re doomed!” Haechan cried out in stress to which Mark just tried to comfort him with a small pat on his thigh.
“Well we know who we have to thank for this.” “Can you quit it. I’m sorry, okay? But it’s not only my fault.” JiHo was clearly getting ticked off by Renjun’s behaviour. “We know JiHo. It’s okay, maybe a car will pass by us and they can help us.” Mark tried to lighten up the mood. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen another car though.” Jeno muttered to - what was just supposed to be – himself, yet the small confinement, the car, they were in made it so everyone could hear. “Thanks Jeno, I’m sure that’s what we all wanted to hear right now.” Haechan said through gritted teeth to which Jeno quickly apologised.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gotten into this car with you-“ “Oh my God! You are being insanely annoying right now! Do you even hear yourself?” JiHo’s last ounce of patience ran out at yet another unnecessary remark from the boy next to her. “I know we’re all sensitive from this heat and the situation we’re in but let’s be nice-“ Mark tried to reason, but got completely ignored instead. “I was sure I was going to die, but I didn’t expect it to be this way.” “Have you ever considered becoming an actor? Drama seems to be a great fit for you.” JiHo spat venomously. “Have you? Comedy seems right up your ally.” Renjun sent her an equally venomous smile.
“You know? If you knew how to properly drive, this wouldn’t have happened.” “I’ve had my licence since I was 18 and no one has ever complained about my driving skills.” The fighting continued. Haechan and Jeno already tuned themselves out of the argument, the heat getting to their heads and making them slightly dizzy.
“Maybe everyone was just to scared to tell you the truth.” “Huang Renjun, if you say one more thing, I’ll swear I’ll-“ JiHo threatened, pointing her finger at the boy who just raised one brow and stared at her mockingly. “Both of you!” Mark suddenly yelled, catching everyone off guard.
The four 00 liners watched as Mark took a second to calm his ragged breathing. “Hyung?” Jeno tapped the older boy’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” Renjun asked. As a response he was met with Mark opening his eyes and shooting daggers through them at him and his female friend – maybe not in this particular situation, but on good days they were definitely great friends. “Get out of the car.” The boy said in a dangerously low voice. “But-“ “GET OUT NOW!”
Renjun and JiHo quickly got out of the car, instantly getting hit by the intense rays of the sun. Ever since the car had stopped working it was still cool inside, the air conditioner had been working up until that point, so getting outside they were hit by reality. Luckily there was still a nice, strong, cool breeze that soothed their already burning skin.
Inside the car Haechan and Jeno watched the older boy with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” Haechan asked carefully. He would never admit it, but in that particular moment, Haechan was slightly scared of Mark. “It’s really hot outside. Hyung-“ “Jeno, get in the driver’s seat.” Mark eyed the boy who without a word complied and crawled out of the car. Mark followed suit.
“Hyung! The sun’s burning me. What do you want us to do outside?” As soon as Renjun’s eyes caught Mark getting out of the car, he complained with a visible pout on his lips. His eyes followed the older boy’s figure walking to the door of the passenger’s seat. “What-“ Renjun stuttered, completely dumbfounded.
“You two-“ He pointed at Renjun and then at JiHo. “-push.” Mark opened the door and just as he was about to climb into his seat he heard multiple complaints and cries from the two younger members. “I can’t even see the next exit or stop from here. Until when do you want us to push?” JiHo asked exasperated. “Just push until anyone’s phone gets enough reception to call for help, or until we see another car pass by.”
Mark now had one foot into the car when another question halted him. “What if neither works out?” JiHo was a bit more careful with her tone now. She realised that they had really pushed Mark’s patience and it was of no use to continue to fight back. “Then you’ll push until we get to the next stop.” “Hyung?” Renjun quickly yelled before Mark could close the door. “Can’t Jeno or Haechan help? JiHo isn’t the strongest if you know what I mean-“ “Shut it, stick boy.” JiHo hissed earning a glare from the boy.
The oldest sighed. “Jeno is in the driver’s seat and Haechan needs to keep an eye out on his phone. His has the most battery.” “And you?” Renjun mumbled. “I am gonna close this door so I don’t have to hear you anymore and then I’m going to close my eyes and take a nap. I have a headache because of you.”
Without giving Renjun a chance to say anything, Mark closes the door harshly leaving Renjun standing in the blaring sun flustered. His head snaps up when he heard JiHo snicker. “Not gonna lie, but Mark really got you with that one.” “Oh shut up. You know he was talking about both of us.” Renjun made his way over to JiHo who was ready to start pushing the car. “I only heard ‘you’. Not ‘you both’ or ‘the two of you’.” She beamed, shaking her body in a playful way. The sight eased Renjun’s tense body just a tad, he couldn’t believe JiHo was being so upbeat even after getting scolded and punished by their older member. She was really something else.
“Hey you two! Start pushing!” Renjun and JiHo looked up to see Haechan peek his head out of the car window. “Yah! Haechan!” Renjun tried his best not to swear at the boy who was already getting on his nerves. “I suggest you don’t look straight in front of you then.” JiHo giggled. The boy was slightly confused but as he did just what she told him not to do it was clear to him that JiHo could absolutely read his mind.
Haechan was perched up on his knees on the back seat of the car facing the back and staring at the two pushing the car. He sent them teasing glances, clearly amused by how the situation panned out. “That loser.” “I don’t think you get to call him that when we’re here, outside, pushing a car in the middle of nowhere.” JiHo reminded him and the boy sighed. “You’re right. I guess.”
After about 2 minutes of pushing the car in silence Renjun spoke up. “Hey-“ He panted and JiHo turned to look at him. She saw how the strands of his hair were stuck to his forehead, sweat dripping down and pooling at his chin. “What’s up?” JiHo asked, her breath also uneven. “I’m sorry that I was so mean to you before. That was way out of line.” “Hey, it’s fine. We were all a bit sensitive because of this whole situation which is far from… ideal.” Renjun sighed and stopped pushing causing JiHo to lose her balance for a second. “Why did you stop?” She wiped the sweat of her forehead and looked at the boy.
“I hate when you do this.” “Do what?” Confusion washed over JiHo’s face. “You’re always the angel in these situations. Never really say anything wrong and always accept apologies so quickly.” JiHo chuckled at the way Renjun looked so defeated. “Want me to be meaner and not accept your apology?” This caused Renjun to roll his eyes and return to push the car. JiHo quickly got back as well to help him.
“That’s not what I meant.” “If it makes you feel any better, in my mind I was totally cursing you out and fully blaming you.” Renjun’s eyes widened almost comically and JiHo had to force herself not to laugh. “How is that supposed to make me feel better- Wait! I’m almost a full year older then you, you should be a bit more respectful-“ “Hey!” Before a new argument could break out Haechan’s voice sounded loudly.
“What? Did you get enough reception?” JiHo and Renjun quickly made their way to the door on Haechan’s side. “No, I just thought maybe we should take a picture real quick. So we have a way to commemorate this and retell this story in the future.” The two members who stood outside started to feel their blood boil. “Lee Haechan, I swear I’ll kill you.” Renjun threatened through gritted teeth.
 JiHo tried her hardest not to smile, she really did, but the situation was just too funny. “What are you laughing at huh?” JiHo turned her head to the left to see a sweaty Haechan glaring at her. “Nothing, nothing.” She snickered and faced away from the boy only to find Renjun having an equally as amused grin on his face. “Just keep pushing.” Haechan mumbled annoyed.
Suddenly Mark’s face appeared through the window from the passenger’s side of the car. “The three of you! Just shut up and push. I think the reception is getting stronger.” A second of silence. “Oh wait! Never mind.” He turned to look at the younger members, a sickly sweet smile appearing on his face. “Just keep pushing okay?”
---
Side note: There’s absolutely no correlation between the title and the story besides that there’s a car and it has the Dream members in it ^^
I loved writing this though, it’s a bit longer than usual since more inspiration kept coming while I was writing it. I hoped you liked it as much as I liked writing it!
I hope you have a nice day/evening/night <3 and depending on where you are, if you are also experiencing this insane heat, please stay hydrated and take care of yourself. Don’t just go out without protecting yourself from the sun! Renjun and JiHo were wearing sunscreen and Mark handed them enough cold water from the cooler they had in the back of the car <3
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crescentsteel · 4 years
Text
Keeping a Secret - Part 5
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pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn wc: 6.8k
[a/n]
Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist uwu
AO3
Part 4 || Part 6 || masterlist
“Your lips aren’t disgusting,” Tsukishima says quietly, but loud enough to reach your ears. You did hear him the first time though. You just didn’t understand what he meant so you brushed it off as garbled words induced by your sleep-deprived brain. 
You didn’t expect him to contradict the subtle insult you unconsciously threw at yourself. From his reaction to your suggestion a while ago, you’d think he’d be glad that you instantly discarded it instead of pushing it further. 
You pull back just enough to see his somber expression meeting your baffled one.
“I thought you didn’t want to do it again,” you mutter softly even though the kiss snapped you out of your drowsiness.
“I changed my mind,” he simply says.  
“Uhhh. Care to elaborate?” you ask, still confused as to what his change of mind entails. Does he now agree to your earlier proposal? Or is he just saying that he doesn’t mind kissing you again? 
...Wait, isn’t that the same?
Okay, so apparently your mind is still fuzzy and not digesting the situation clearly. His closeness isn’t helping either. 
Maybe you’re actually still asleep and you’re having sleep paralysis on their sofa. In just a matter of seconds, Tsukishima’s face will turn demon-like and scream at how moronic you are for dreaming about this.
“You’re allowed to kiss me when it’s just the two of us,” the boy sitting in front of you announces.
Tsukishima tries not to look away so you wouldn’t think he feels awkward agreeing to your suggestion the same way you offered it. You look way better and more alert after he kissed you so he’s expecting you to say something sassy to get back at his brutal words. 
Instead, you wrap a hand around your throat. Before he can even process what you’re doing, your hand is already joined by the other. 
“What are you doing?” he asks both confused and worried as your hands tighten on your neck, but you don’t answer. He only confirms that you’re indeed choking yourself when you start gasping for air. 
“What the fuck!” He hurriedly yanks your hands away from your throat, gripping each wrist and pulling them away from one another. 
You inhale sharply from the absence of your hands blocking your windpipe.
It didn’t work. You’re still in sleep paralysis and with absolutely no idea how to get out.
You close your eyes and dejectedly lean on his chest. “I’m too tired to tell if this is real or a poorly conjured dream. Demon, begone,” you mumble while feebly knocking your head against him.
“Tsukishima will think I’m an idiot,” you add.
He usually doesn’t care about the aftermath of his words. The more they get under a person’s skin, the more it amuses him. But you seem to have really taken his words to heart this time, and he hates the fact that he’s bothered by it. He’d rather be annoyed by you than plagued with guilt.
He admits he was being a complete dick earlier, but he didn’t expect it would get to you like this, to the point that you’d even think you’re dreaming.
He sighs, accepting that he needs to deal with the consequences of his sharp tongue. “You’re not an idiot, y/n,” he softly says. You lift your gaze and look at him like he’s grown two heads. “So stop acting like one already,” he spurs on, unable to help himself as his true nature immediately returns.
You detach yourself from him as life returns back to your eyes. “Okay, I’m not dreaming. You’re definitely Tsukishima.” You shake your hands, probably to shake off the lethargy from your nap, then slap both your cheeks with your palms. 
You steady yourself as you face him again. You verify the vague exchanges you two had with one question. “I take it we have a deal then?” 
He holds your resolute stare, trying to come up with some set of rules but weariness is already hitting his cognitive capabilities. However, there is one that’s extremely necessary for the both of you to follow. 
“No one should know about this.”
You scoff at his answer. “No one  will  know about this,” you repeat his words with a more convincing variation. So despite the insane premise of the arrangement and its lack of detail, he agrees.
“Deal.”
--
Tsukishima heads straight to the kitchen as soon as he gets home. In spite of the audacious agreement you now have, neither of you felt awkward when he walked you to the main road to see you off. Once again, you were right. Accepting that he is also attracted to you somehow cleared his head. He still doesn’t like it, but it’s better than constantly being irritated at the strange pull you have on him. 
Since you’ve proven yourself to always be right, he’ll give this a go. It’ll only be until the end of the project anyways, which won’t be long from now considering the timetable you laid out. 
As he gets a pitcher of water, he sees Akiteru approaching the kitchen as well. He moves away from the fridge to make way in case his brother is going to get something from it. But Akiteru passes him by and leans on the counter next to him instead. 
He pours himself a glass while growing prickly of Akiteru’s not-so-subtle staring.
“If you’re going to say something, just say it,” he snaps. 
Akiteru laughs lightly at his displeasure. “She’s very lovely,” his older brother comments randomly, and yet he already knows Akiteru is without a doubt talking about you. 
Lovely?
His mind instantly goes back to when you were: (a) dancing like a crippled fledgling; (b) squawking like a dying seagull to imitate a crocodile; and (c) choking yourself because you thought you were dreaming. 
“If an alien in a human suit is lovely, then sure,” he answers dryly as he returns the pitcher back to the fridge.
“She’s really just a classmate?” his older brother probes. 
Akiteru has been insinuating for a while now that he should get a girlfriend, as if not having one will cause him to miss out on this ‘great’ experience of life. So now that he’s finally brought someone home, Akiteru had decided in his head that you’re a potential romantic partner. 
“How many times do I need to answer that?” he responds sourly. 
His brother smiles apologetically, but his face shows a regaled glimmer. “Sorry, Kei. I must have misunderstood since I don’t kiss my classmates on the lips.”
He stills right as he was about to bring the glass to his lips. 
He did not hear Akiteru’s steps back then. If he did, he’d quickly give himself adequate distance from you. He’d blame you for the distraction, but you weren’t really doing anything outrageous at that moment. You were actually unobtrusive and reasonable for the first time. It was him and his guilt that preoccupied him well enough to not notice Akiteru.
He finishes his water and leaves the glass on the counter. “Goodnight,” he says without looking at Akiteru as he hurriedly goes back to his room. 
It hasn’t been an hour since you two made the deal but someone -- worse, his own brother, has already found out. His only consolation is that Akiteru doesn’t really talk with his social circle so there’s no need to be worried. Also, Akiteru is not really the type to babble about stuff like that. 
The disadvantage is also the same as its advantage, it’s Akiteru. He might get all excited and continue assuming that there’s more to the two of you than this limited agreement, when the truth is you’re just two individuals who agreed to make out in secret.
But that’s something he wouldn’t dare reveal to anyone, most especially to Akiteru.
When he reaches his room, he immediately texts you. 
‘We meet in your place next time.’
Hopefully, Akiteru will forget whatever he saw tonight if you don’t come back. 
--
Surprisingly but not really, you and Tsukishima are getting along swimmingly since you made the deal. ‘Swimmingly,’ meaning he still ignores you and regards you as a pest during practice. During your private meetings, however, he is agreeable. 
It still seems unbelievable to you when you actually think about it. You and Tsukishima exchanging kisses when no one’s around? You’d have a good laugh if someone even suggested that idea to you before you shared that first, completely unintended kiss.
It is indeed comical, how you two would sit across each other, and with only a certain glance, both of you already know what’s up. Eventually, it became a bother to stand and go over to one another just for a kiss so you two sit side by side now.
Tsukishima is funny though. Sometimes, he wouldn’t act upon it because he expects you to take the initiative. You don’t mind doing it, but it’s fun to see him all bothered while trying to study. 
“Tsukishima, you look weird. Are you okay?” You feigned concern even though you clearly know why. 
He didn’t spare you a glance at all and just mumbled, “I’m fine,” while typing.
“Hmmm, alright! I’m done so we can wrap up now,” you let him know as you started fixing your stuff up. You thought that he’d hold on to his dumb ego and follow suit since you’ve finished cleaning up, but he still hadn’t done anything. 
You held back a smile when you felt him grab your arm. You swiftly composed yourself before turning to his direction. 
“What?” you ask like you don’t have a clue.
He glowers at you. “You know what.”
You pursed your lips to the side as you gently shake your head. “I am very confused right now,” you acted persuasively.
He puffed tempestuously before he grabbed your nape and roughly descended down on your lips, utterly disregarding his unnecessary pride. You willingly reciprocate it. You latched your fingers in his wrist beside your cheek as you responded to each suck and nip of his lips.
When it ended, you smiled into his mouth which effectively gave you away. 
He harshly pulled himself away from you. “You fucking knew,” he muttered furiously.
You scrunched up your nose and grinned mischievously as you gently tapped his cheek. “Of course, I knew. See you tomorrow at the match, Tsukishima,” you said, gesturing to his scattered belongings.
Needless to say, he was extra salty with you during the match with the Lions. But hey, at least they won the game. 
However, despite the Lions now out of the picture, your workload isn’t any better because winning only means needing to prepare the next opponent’s profile. You’re just a bit thankful now that unwarranted and unexpected kisses are no longer bothering you since the two of  you acknowledged the stupid attraction you have for each other.
Still, that doesn’t mean that your body has magically recovered and you’re no longer stressed all of a sudden. Because you are. You are stressed as fuck. With your academic load also on the line, you can’t rest yet.
You’re starting to feel overwhelmed and whenever that happens, you succumb to your one coping mechanism: stress eating. 
You’re about to meet Tsukishima but you have a few minutes to spare, so you head to the nearest cake shop. You buy a mini cake for yourself and one slice for Tsukishima. You don’t feel like sharing yours so you just get him his own. 
With a paper bag in hand, you see Tsukishima waiting for you by your dormitory’s entrance. You waste no time and ask him to follow you even though he probably already knows where exactly your room is. 
One would think that when the door closes, you two would jump on each other’s arms and just get on with your deal, but nah.
You two get to your usual seats with your mind solely on the cake you bought as both of you take out your notes and laptop. 
After you pull up the journal you need to look at for the day, you eagerly bring out the cake.
‘Hnnnngg,’  you groan internally. The cake’s design is so pretty that you almost don’t wanna eat it. But of course you will. You’ve never had strawberry shortcake from that shop before, so you’re curious to taste if it’s as good as it looks. 
Just as you’ve been ogling at your cake, you catch Tsukishima staring at it as well. “Do you want some, Tsukki?” you ask before you give the slice you got for him. 
“Why would I want something childish?” he asks back with a scowl. 
“I don’t see how a cake is childish but okay.” You would’ve felt bad, but you’ll have the extra slice for yourself anyways so it’s not really that bad.
Normally, you would like to savor the pastry while doing something fun, but you don’t have the time for it right now. You’ll just eat it while doing your assigned stuff for the day. 
For someone who thinks cake is childish, he keeps glancing at you with tiny hints of envy every time you take a bite. When he sees you catch him peering at the cake, he instantly flicks his eyes back to his laptop.
To verify your hunch, you moan exaggeratedly the next time you take a spoonful of the cake, instantly earning you a menacing glare from the blonde across you. 
“I’m sorry. It’s just so good, you know. The bread is so fluffy. The cream is not too sweet. The strawberry filling has actual bits of strawberry.” You enact a chef’s kiss after your detailed remarks. 
“Amazing. Best I’ve ever had. 10/10 would recommend and buy again,” you give a positive review before getting another slice.
When you get another spoonful, you groan again and roll your eyes for added effect. You look at Tsukishima and you can tell that it’s getting to him. Yet, he’s still not saying anything. He only keeps staring as if silently imploring you that you should let him have a taste as well. 
As if you’ll bend to his will just like that. 
“If you want some, just say so,” you taunt him with a smirk as you scoop the last spoonful in the plate, giving him not much time to swallow his pride and ask. 
Before you can put it in your mouth, he stops you. “Fine,” he says as he grits his teeth. “I want some.” 
Tsukishima really is funny. It’s only cake but he sounds so angry and embarrassed just because he asked for a tiny piece. How can you not tease him just a bit more?
You take the remaining piece and move beside him. You get the spoonful of cake, extending your arm and offering it to him that way. 
He looks at the cake and then you. “I know how to eat,” he enunciates coldly at your attempt to spoon feed him. 
You shrug it off with an ‘okay,’ then proceed to withdraw your hand so you can have it for yourself. 
“Wait.”
You comply and let your retreating arm stay in place. A faint pink tint surfaces on his cheeks as he leans down and takes the cake from the spoon with his mouth. When he starts munching on it, he looks away and slump a little while savoring the small remains you gave him.
You press your lips together to repress a smile cause you know he’ll be even more embarrassed. But holy crap, Tsukishima is so cute like this! You want to take a picture of him right now and just ogle at how adorable he is when he’s this flustered. 
The Sendai Frog’s nastiest middle blocker, standing at 6’3, likes strawberry shortcake. You’re reeling internally at your astounding discovery. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he snarls with the tiny blush still on his face.
You can’t help it anymore and give him a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing,” you squeak out from how hard you’re trying not to gush at his cuteness.
He suddenly regains his composure as he narrows his eyes while studying your face. 
It’s your turn to be conscious from how he seems to have discovered something about you as well. 
“What?” you ask warily.
You’re completely caught off guard when he puts a hand on your shoulder and lunges down. His lips capture the skin just beside the corner of your mouth, delicately sucking on the skin before brushing his warm tongue against it. 
You go rigid on your seat at the totally unexpected action from him. It’s not even a kiss but you feel goosebumps prickling your skin while the air you’re breathing gets stuck in your throat. 
That’s all he does then hoists himself back up, his features devoid of any emotion as if he didn’t just do something bold. His hand on your shoulder goes up to spot he just licked and strokes it with his thumb. 
“You eat like a ten-year old,” he says blankly. 
Just like that, the situation is reversed. He now has the upperhand while you’re completely frozen as your mind helplessly tries to come up with something, anything, to hide the fact that you’re a complete muddled mess on the inside.
But nothing. Your mind does not work and all its attention is still on the little stunt Tsukishima pulled just now. 
Being the manager of the Frogs, you’ve always seen them as cute little puppies you need to take care of. You’re the one in charge of them so you always feel like you’re the one in control. The sense of control is even more reinforced with other male athletes getting swept away with your antics during matches. 
Even with the several kisses you shared with Tsukishima, it’s only now that you’re rendered utterly disconcerted. Your lips start to tremble while your brows contort with horror from the foreign feeling that’s creeping on your whole body.
Fuuuucck, you curse silently at your mind’s incapability to come up with a solution to handle the situation. 
To make it worse, the corner of his lips start to tug up, forming a smug grin that suits him ludicrously well. 
“You okay, y/n?” His pompous demeanor lets you know that the question is not out of concern. He is very much aware of the effect he has on you. He’s just milking it.
And it’s fucking working.
He drags his thumb to your chin and tilts it up to get a better view of your features growing even more at loss by the second. “What’s wrong, hmm?”
You press your quivering lips together as you harshly avert your gaze from his. “Nothing,” you say too softly, losing the playfulness you had not long ago.
“What’s that?” He pretends to not hear it. 
Seems like you’ve had enough because you swat his hand away from your chin and cover your whole face with both hands. 
His grin spreads wide from your surrender as a chuckle escapes his throat. To entertain himself even more, he pries your hands away from your face. It’s easier than he expected since your wrists are like twigs with no strength in them.
Your face is a furious shade of rose as you glare at him with both shame and anger. You try to retrieve your arms but he’s obviously way stronger than you. “Tsukishima, you smooth li’l shit, let go of me!”
With that, he releases you as he cackles from your remark. He can now see the merits of acknowledging the inexplicable magnetism between him and you. Now that he doesn’t have to feel conflicted about it, he can relish breaking your previously impervious defenses by teasing you this way. 
There wasn’t even any cake on your face. He just made it up to get back at you for toying with him like one of your dumb admirers. 
You give off one enraged puff then you go back to face your laptop.  You try to look fine but you’re trying too hard. He can tell that you’re still bothered by it even when you’re focused on your screen now. 
He gets back to his own as well, the same grin he had earlier still there. He thought you’re going to keep ignoring him for the rest of your meeting, but before he can even focus on his own task, you awkwardly slide him the paper bag you had. 
“I actually got you a slice in case you wanted one,” you huff timidly while meeting his surprised gaze. You don’t say anything else and get back to working. 
That was… thoughtful of you. You got him one even if he didn’t ask for it. And despite teasing you like that, you still gave it to him. If it was him, he wouldn’t have bothered.
He gets the cake and saves it for later at home. He’d like to enjoy it alone away from your cheekiness, ridding you the chance to make fun of him the second time.
When he looks at you again, you give him a brief glance before settling in to do your assignment. He does the same since you two have frolicked enough for the day. 
He had learned something about you from your former meetings:  you have unbreakable focus when you start concentrating on something. You don’t talk. You don’t fiddle with your phone. You don’t even peel your eyes away from the screen unless you’re checking something on your notes.  
The remarkable thing is how efficient you are. You work fast and come up with decent output. He’s seen it both in your write up for the project and in the reports you give to the team.
It’s almost impressive, if not for its inevitable downside: you run out of steam just as fast, which is what seems to be happening right now. He’s ignored the first two yawns he’s heard from you, but he can’t dismiss the third consecutive yawn. 
He looks at your direction and confirms that you’re indeed starting to drop your attentiveness. Your eyes are becoming lazy and you’re just pressing your keyboard too hard one key at a time. 
“Oy, it’s still early for you to be sleepy,” he scolds you.
You tap your face, a futile attempt to wake yourself up because your eyes are still dazed when you look at him. “It’s the cake. I overfed myself and now I want to sleep like one.” You groan as you realize your mistake. “No worries though. I just need coffee,” you mutter. 
He slams his palm on the wooden surface of your table. “Do not get coffee,” he warns almost threateningly. He does not want a repeat of what happened the last time where you’re one wheeze away from death because of your damn coffee.
“But I need it,” you protest.
“No, you don’t. What you need is rest.”
“Don’t wanna. It felt weird last time. I don’t like slacking off when someone else is being productive,” you insist further.
He sighs irritably at your obstinacy. There’s no need to rush because you two managed to get back on the schedule you set, but then again he understands why. You’re trying to get as much shit done before your responsibilities become too much for you. 
That’s probably how you’ve been getting by for the past three years, being a university scholar while managing the team. If being a student while being an athlete is already difficult for him, how much more  for you who has grades to maintain while working as well?
If it were anyone else, they’d have exploded from the humongous amount of work that entails. Yet, you come to the gym with that carefree attitude of yours like you’re not burdened in any way. In all the times you’ve met with him outside the gym, not once has he heard you complain about it. 
You don’t whine. You just do what needs to be done.
It’s something worth respecting, to say the least. But you should really rest when your body tells you to. 
“I’ll stop doing the report and watch volleyball clips from last year’s Olympics. Take your nap,” he says. 
Your face brightens up at his suggestion. “Can I watch with you?”
“No.” The point of him watching is so that you can rest easy, not for you to join him. However, the look on your face tells him you won’t budge unless he lets you watch with him. 
“I swear, it’ll do me better than a nap,” you press on. 
He rubs his temple with irritation as you leave him with no choice but to agree. “Fine.” You squeal at his approval and scamper to his side. 
He opens his folders of volleyball clips he’s yet to watch while you tuck your knees together the same way you did last time you watched documentaries for your project. 
Halfway through the first clip, he feels your head bump his shoulder. He peers at you from his peripheral and sees your hazy eyes fighting off sleep. He doesn’t say anything and just waits for your drowsiness to successfully take over. 
By the end of the first video, he feels your head bobbing forward which he can no longer ignore. “Can’t you just go to your bed and sleep?” he asks almost desperately. 
You fix your posture and open your eyes again. “I’m fine.”
He rolls his eyes and gives a resigned huff as he skids his laptop to your front. You shoot him a puzzled look while he positions himself behind you. 
“Continue watching then.” He scoots closer until your back is pressed to him, effectively caging you as he extends his legs on your both sides. There’s no use trying to convince you to sleep when you’re this stubborn. So, he’ll just provide you the means to do so. 
You frown at him which he answers with a raised eyebrow. In the end, you just shrug it off and go back to watching. 
Just as he anticipated, you’re already unconscious in a matter of minutes. Your head falls back to his chest. He lets you settle deeper in your sleep, watching you unconsciously find a position you’re most comfortable in. By the time the second video ends, you’re no longer wiggling around and have found refuge on the front of his shoulder with your arm loosely wrapped around his bicep. 
Although he did say that he’ll slack off with you, he sees no reason to uphold it now that he’s finally got you to rest. Unlike you, he works at a normal pace. He needs to continue doing his own tasks so when you wake up, he’s already done as well. 
He carefully reaches for his laptop and closes the video currently playing. He gets back to working on the current draft of the project, feeling the strain on his back with nothing to support him while you lean against him. 
He shouldn't be doing this. There is no reason for him to be inconvenienced this way by you. This isn’t part of the deal.
But seeing how you’re working so hard yet still face everyone else with that vexatious cheerful smile of yours, he deems you deserving of that serene look on your face while you’re peacefully snuggled within his grasp. 
Just as he allowed you to kiss him, he also allows you to hold on to him like this. 
--
“Hey, number 17!”
Tsukishima hears someone yell. He’s sure that it was him who’s being called because he recognizes the voice. It’s someone from the Jaguars, the team they’re up against after winning against the Lions the previous game.
Still, he’d like to pretend that he doesn’t know it’s him the other athlete is shouting for. The gym is filled with other number 17s from different teams anyways. He can easily dismiss it. 
However, he hears his last name not long after, automatically singling him out from the other players who also wore his jersey number. 
Even though he despises small talk, it would be rude to ignore other players when they specifically call for him in public. Not that he bothers about what other people think of him, but more about how he represents his team. 
In high school, he didn’t care at all. But things are different now in the professional level. He’s forced to engage in insignificant nonsense with other players. 
He just hopes that this time it won’t be one of those times and that whatever this is is actually important
He turns around lazily and sees not one, but two Jaguars approaching him. It’s their starting setter and their pinch server. “I thought you couldn’t hear us, dude,” the setter says. He doesn’t reply and just stands his ground while waiting for what they’re going to say. 
“Anyways, mind if we ask the number of your manager?” 
It’s worse than nonsense. They approached him because of you.
They turn towards each other and simper at how they seem to think that it’s a genius idea to ask him instead of you. 
“You can ask her yourself. She’s just over there with the rest of the team,” he passively suggests. He’d be glad to lead these two poor hopeful souls if they want to. He’s sure you’d be more than happy to entertain them, in your own kind of way. 
“Nah. We know how she disses everyone. That’s why we’re asking you, Tsukishima-kun,” the pinch server counters. 
He’s the least protective of you compared to the rest of the team. He doesn’t care if you flirt all day long with these people or if you give your number to every single person here at the stadium. 
But whatever these hoodlums the idea that  he’ll  be the one to give your number to them? It’s not his to give. It’s yours. “It’s not really my decision to make,” he responds. 
“Is she really that good of a manager that you won’t share her?” 
He would’ve not perceived anything out of it if not for the malicious grin that surfaced on the setter’s poor excuse of a face. The two athletes step closer and speak in a volume only for him to hear. 
“Come on now. Don’t tell us you guys are not touching that hot piece dangling itself in front of you.”
‘Lowlives.’ 
That’s the most fitting word he can describe these two uneducated imbeciles who talk like you’re a slice of meat. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially you who madly dedicate yourself out of actual interest and affection for the team and the sport. 
Yet, these two fucking dimwits are insinuating that you’re available for him and his teammates to sleep around with. It’s more than just disrespect. It’s an absolute mockery of the effort and commitment you have for the job. 
It’s not his place to be angry. He’s not the one being slighted. But the image of your exhausted features fighting off sleep to do the report of these scumbags in front of him makes him want to do something about their blatant lack of intelligence. 
“Don’t look so scary now. We’re not going to steal your manager. We just want to know what it’s like to have a hot one managing us,” the setter once again proves his brainlessness to Tsukishima, successfully provoking him to do what he’s been itching to do. 
He offers them a too-pleasant smile that he gives to people who are about to get a taste of his snide irony. “Sorry, but it’s not really my problem that no one wants to manage a bunch of unsightly goons.”
A vein on the setter’s temple looks like it’s about to pop out as his hand yanks Tsukishima’s collar. 
“The fuck did you say?!” The setter of the Jaguars lashes out, quickly losing his temper amidst the public gymnasium.
The feigned smile on Tsukishima’s face is replaced by a genuine smirk as the two dimwits react exactly the way he wants them too. Although he can rile them up even more than he did, something tells him that these peabrains will actually resort to violence if he does so.
They’ll definitely be held out from playing the game if they do get violent, but so will he if he gets involved. 
Even though he looks unmotivated and lazy, he actually likes being on the court. And if he’s going to be honest, he looks forward to blocking the tosses of the setter who’s clutching his shirt at present.
“You shitty blocker,” the pinch server backs up his teammate. 
The shift of attention from you to Tsukishima doesn’t surprise him at all. From slandering you, they quickly move to verbally attacking him. His eyebrow twitches up from the remark but doesn’t bother responding to it. 
Why would he when he’ll just prove them wrong later? Instead of engaging with these two, he should be getting back to the rest of the team to get ready for their match. 
He’s about to grab the setter’s wrist to yank it off him when a set of feminine fingers beat him to it.
“My, my. Thank you for wanting to be friends with one of our players, but he really needs to warm up now,” you say with congenial sympathy to the upcoming competition. 
They seem to have forgotten that you’re the reason why they approached him. The setter releases Tsukishima’s shirt with a glare before the two Jaguars walk away.
“Bye, bye! Let’s get along well, yeah??” you shout and wave at them way too enthusiastically. You probably didn’t catch them talking about you, which is a good thing because you didn’t need to hear that kind of horse shit.
You put a light hand on his shoulder, making him anticipate a lecture from you for dawdling around. But you only tell him that you two should go back already. 
As you both turn around, the smile on your face drops while your grip on his shoulder tightens. 
“Did it bother you that much?” he asks as you both walk back to the court. 
“You bet it did. The gall of them to call you a shitty blocker, those fuckfaces. I swear to God, I would’ve,” you take a sharp breath then slowly let it out as you take your hands off him. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. It’s just the usual gibberish talk among athletes,” you say to yourself, more than to him.
“What about what they said before that?”
Your brows scrunch up as you try to figure out what he’s talking about. “You mean when they assumed I’m sexing everyone from the team? Nah. I know some people think I’m a slut because I’m too sexy for their lame asses. I’m used to it so I don’t really care about crap like that,” you explain way too casually. 
He thought that at this time and age, people would be a little more progressive with how they think. Apparently, he was wrong. He’s always observed how you put yourself out there, entertaining any flattery that’s thrown at you. It’s also very obvious how open you are to showing affection for the team.
But he didn’t think people would have such indecent assumptions about you. What surprises him even more is you’ve been aware of it for some time now. Still, you continue being yourself.
“But Goooood. Their childish shit talking really pissed me off.” Your previous attempt to calm yourself down fails as anger graces your features once again.
“Promise me something, Tsukishima,” you tell him a few steps away from the court.
“What?” 
“Up your blocking game and win. I want to see those fucktard’s faces pulverized with defeat,” you announce as you seethe with fiery determination.
“There’s no need to promise,” he says calmly before the curve of his lips form a subtle yet definite grin. You immediately get his message as you mirror the arrogant pride on his face with a smirk of your own.
You’re not particularly competitive. Even as the captain of your own team before, you did not play to win. You played with your very best because you want to experience all the sport has to offer.
Maybe that’s why you stopped playing and decided to be a manager. You love the sport, but not as an athlete. You just love pushing people to their potential and being their support so they can give their all during matches.
Although you do like winning, you’re not hellbent on it. As long as the team gives their everything and you see them at their best, you’re happy with that.
This match is an exception.
At 23-24 with the Sendai Frogs on their match point, you’re clutching your notebook way too hard that the pages become crumpled and the edges dig in your palms.
When you saw Tsukishima earlier approached by the two Jaguars, you didn’t intervene immediately. You were near the area, watching and listening as to how things will unfold. You didn’t hear much of their mumbled conversation, but you caught enough words to put together that it was you they’re talking about. 
You do gain a lot of attention, but some of them are not exactly wholesome. Apparently, being outspoken and open equates to being easy to bed.
You just wish they said something more interesting because you almost yawned at how unoriginal their speculation is. You fucking around with the Sendai Frogs? Groundbreaking. 
What amused you though is Tsukishima’s response. Right at that moment, you wanted to kiss his snarky mouth. Not because he defended your honor, but from the clever snide comeback he quickly spat at their faces. 
Your amusement was quickly ruined when one of them laid a hand on him. You didn’t care that the fuckfaced setter did it in public. Even if he did it with no one around, your blood still would’ve boiled. But when he said that Tsukishima was a shitty blocker? The palm of your hand itched to get roughly acquainted with the opposing setter’s face. 
If this isn’t a tournament, you would’ve had a hard time deciding whether or not you’d have done it. But since this  is  a tournament, you can’t do that. You need to be civil and maintain good relations with every team, even if some of their members lack basic decency and  proper manners. 
Luckily, there is a way to get back at them: that is to win this match which has got you to the edge of your seat as soon as it reached the 20s of the second set. 
With Tsukishima, Eiji, and Kogane in front, there’s nothing to be scared about. It’s just that you really want them to score that last point already. 
The ball gets to your court and is received by Kogane, effectively cutting out your most optimal set-up to attack. 
“Tsukki!” Kogane calls out. Tsukishima runs to the center of the court, right in front of the net. The opposing blockers observe him to predict who he’s tossing the ball to, only to leave him completely open as he dunks the ball to the Jaguars’ side of the net.
You were sure it happened fast, but the pounding of your heart made it seem like the ball hitting the ground was in slow motion. You wait for the referee’s signal, hoping that there were no misplays on the Frog’s end that would prolong the game. 
The referee whistles and extends his arm to the Frog’s court, letting everyone know that it’s your team’s win. Cheers from team members themselves roar inside the gymnasium, soon joined by the applause from the audience. 
You’re supposed to check the losing facade of the Jaguars, but the joy and relief of winning floods you that you completely forget about how they insulted your clever middle blocker. You leave your tally notebook on the bench and rush to the court along with other members. 
You’ve always been impressed with Tsukishima’s blocking skills, but to win from his offensive mindfuckery with the other team just sent you to a whole different level of being proud. So it’s him you first go to. 
Without putting any thought to it, you wrap your arms around his waist. You don’t mind that he’s sweating and that his body heat is emanating from his skin. You’re too thrilled that he scored the winning point to even care. 
“Good job, Tsukishima!”
Right after saying it out loud, you feel him tense beneath your touch. You lift your gaze up to him and meet his eyes which are wide from shock and panic. Immediately after, your eyes do the same when you realize what you’ve done.
The loud cheers from the team have stopped.  You slowly turn your head to see why, even though you already know the reason.
It’s like a paused scene from a movie where everyone completely halts whatever they’re doing. The only difference is they stopped with their attention completely on you, specifically on how your limbs are enclosed around Tsukishima’s waist and your cheek flat on his chest. 
Shit. 
You’re hugging Tsukishima in public, in front of the whole team.
Part 4 || Part 6 || masterlist
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who-is-page · 3 years
Note
We sort of started this discussion at Chimeras' Othercon panel, but I wanted to keep it going so I figured I would send an ask. What do you think it would mean for our community to drop the focus on voluntary and involuntary identities? I agree that we fundamentally should, but a bunch of things immediately jump to mind.
Our community has spent years leaning heavily into the lines between voluntary and involuntary identities and taken special care to make massive distinctions between them, leaving little to no room for grey area. It's no bit surprise that alterhuman spaces have had actual, legitimate, longstanding issues of grilling and gatekeeping. Nonhumans with nuanced and complicated identities are forced to shove themselves into a box to fit into the community, and the ideas we have about certain identities needing to be involuntary are absolutely baked into many aspects of our community and its history.
At the same time, we have used this unjustified gatekeeping in part to protect the community from genuine threats and appropriation of our terminology. The way we have limited our concepts of who is allowed to identify in what ways is generally wrong and has no doubt harmed a subset of kin, but at the same time is understandable in the sense that it has a cause. Yes, this was an issue even before KFF, but KFF certainly don't make it easy to create space for genuine voluntary kin and other voluntary alterhumans.
How do we create the space for nuance and fluidity and complexity in these terms and identities after we have spent so long defensively creating rigid boundaries and restrictions regarding the ways people are allowed to identify? How do we address community gatekeeping while also protecting our community from the people who use our identities and terminology in bad faith?
I have a lot of ideas, but this is obviously a very complex topic that we can't just solve in a day. I was just curious to hear your thoughts, if you had any. Hopefully once our personal website is up one of our first essays will be about this issue. (Also, how is Page? /hj)
So I know we’ve been sitting on this ask for... -checks watch- ...almost two weeks now, but it’s genuinely because I just wasn’t sure how to answer it for a good long while, and I didn’t just want to throw out some haphazard, half-hearted answer to such important questions. So here’s our thoughts on the debacle.
Voluntary and involuntary is a focus I doubt we’ll ever see any of the alterhuman communities permanently drop, for several reasons.
The first and foremost being that, by the definition of the term “alterhuman,” defined here as “a subjective identity which is beyond the scope of what is traditionally considered ‘being human’,” both experiences at their most extremes technically fall underneath the label, rendering the distinction (to some) vitally important to helping understand and define their identity/identity labels. The difference between KFF as an alterhuman identity and forms of otherkinity as an alterhuman identity, for instance, as you mention.
And then there’s the societal factors to consider. People like nice, neat little boxes: people like to be able to compartmentalize their communities, with no overlap, with no spillage, with no complications or grey areas or nuance. It’s a fact of life that people often instinctively want to water down labels and identities into more easily digestible formations, though there are arguments around why people precisely do it. And, as you point out, that often means alterhumans and nonhumans with more complex or nuanced identities typically get shoved into one box or another that they may not perfectly fit into.
When we zero in on specifically the otherkin community, this becomes even more complicated given the community’s rife history: abusive p-shifter groups, the appropriation of language by roleplayers and fiction writers, zoophiles attempting to forcibly associate otherkinity with pro-bestiality movements, and the blatant general misinformation spread by laymen and academics alike, just to name a few relevant problems the community has faced and continues to face. The community is stubborn to a fault, largely because it’s had to be in order to survive. It holds to its preconceived notions and rigid boundaries like a dog with toy aggression to their favorite plush stegosaurus. Fittingly so, really.
So how do we take that stubbornness and change it to be more inclusive to our own? How could we, while still surviving all that onslaught and more? That’s the big question.
In regards to the larger alterhuman community, we’re blessed in the fact that it’s still such a young concept: it hasn’t quite yet had to face the “pathological anger” Religious Studies professor Joseph Laycock has described otherkin as bearing the brunt of. It’s still a community figuring itself out, with much of the anger you find related to it aimed at specific subsets of community within it, rather than at alterhumanity as a whole. And I think the fact that the alterhuman community is still metaphorically air-drying on a table means we have the opportunity to prevent anti-nuance and anti-complexity attitudes from taking hold in it. How we do that is another battle in itself-- I feel like the encouragement of inclusive dialogue, of open discussion intermingled with considerate or civil attitudes, within alterhuman-marketed spaces is a good starting point. I also think that the encouragement and legitimization of “alterhuman” as its own standalone term would be a positive force, where it functions as a broad, diverse identity label in addition to being an overarching, joining umbrella label. A label where someone doesn’t have to give details away of their identity if they don’t feel comfortable doing so, or shove themself into a box they may or may not actually feel they fit into. Something functionally similar to how many people use “queer,” if you will.
But that still leaves aside the issue of identity and terminological misuse, I am aware. And that is...an abstract thing to ward against, at absolute best. I think that the defining of our own spaces not only through our words but also through our actions would perhaps be the best thing we could do, realistically. The cultivation of websites, of group projects--books, zines, comics, pictures, forums, anything!--, of community-led conventions and meet-ups and howls and gatherings. Things which foster and build a community identity of sorts is the best defense against those who would try and distort that which makes us, us.
Zooming back in on the otherkin community, these answers change slightly, because--going back to the clay metaphor--the otherkin community has already metaphorically been glazed and baked (in the fires of hell). That history is cemented, the ways people have wronged it and continue to try and wrong it is cemented, the assumptions and attitudes are cemented.
With the otherkin community, I think that the burden of changing minds and pervasive attitudes falls a bit more onto the shoulders of “community leadership,” because of how the community functions and values both community experience and articulation. There’s a reason we don’t have a term comparable to “greymuzzle” in any of the other alterhuman communities, after all-- it’s a well-known and often aggravating quirk of the otherkin community, to hold certain individuals in such high esteem and put them on a pedestal because of their longevity and the things they’ve done and said. I hate to say that they have to set an example, but in the otherkin community that really is one of the best ways to advocate for change, or to push against those gatekeeping and grilling attitudes--by those who are largely well-respected putting forward ideas that have previously been mocked or disavowed, pushing debates on their legitimacy into community consciousness until it eventually trickles into community normalcy and foundation.
(This is, as you can imagine, a double-edged sword depending on how it’s used. But that’s a discussion for another day.)
That’s not to say that the ideas of creation and creativity with the goal of cultivating an inclusive community identity, like I suggested for the alterhuman community, is inapplicable to the otherkin community: but the otherkin community already has a long-term community identity, so it’d moreso be creation and creativity for the sake of formative inclusion. “History is always written by the winners” is a very, very literal phrase in its application to the otherkin community. Our community memory, for lack of a better way to put it, sucks from individual-to-individual. The future of the otherkin community, its eventual-history, is determined by its historians and creators of today: day-to-day arguments and discussions, unless deemed historically relevant by one archivist or another, disappear to the sands of time, and much more long-term recordings such as essays, websites, comics, etc., often go far beyond just its creators hands and get passed around and down for years, potentially. If you want a more nuanced and inclusive community, you have to dig up the clay for it, shovel by shovel, and bake it yourself, brick by brick, and eventually, with luck, or enough backing prestige, or just because those bricks are so astoundingly solid people can’t resist taking some to build their own foundations to nonhumanity, things will change. It will take time above all else, but once it’s there it will be impossible to remove, because people will just assume those bricks have always been there given enough years.
But those are just some of my thoughts and opinions on it. It’s an issue with so many layers of complexity to it, that there’s really no perfect answer out there that I can offer, and I know even what I’ve shared here has its flaws and drawbacks. I’m sure plenty of my followers also have additional thoughts on the subject, and I’d love to hear from other people what they think in the replies and reblogs.
(Also, Page is a very tired boi.)
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layniapetrovnaaa · 4 years
Text
“No boys”
 Request: @soytrash
Hey beautiful 🤍 how about a cute little moment between reader and Logan with Laura regarding a crush 🥺And Logan is just overprotective, but prior to Laura coming home from school and talking about a crush, Logan is trying to get some from reader 🥵 please and thank you hun let me know if that’s okay or not 🥰 (maybe with the baby from your family series too) sorry if it’s too much I love your writing 🥺🤍 
Warnings: Smut, swearing (if you squint).
A/n: Do you guys picture yourself when reading fanfiction? Cause I do and don’t haha. Typically when I read/write for Logan I picture myself as Scarlett Johansson in Match Point and The Island lol. I’d love to hear about you guys, so just let me know!
Reader is written as under 30 y/o, if you are older, just change the number :)
I hope this is good enough (I’m not really that confident in this one). Let me know if you have any constructive criticism. 
[The Howlett Family series] 
Tumblr media
It was a particularly warm day in the Canadian Rockies, warm enough to open a few windows and have the cozy log house smelling of the fresh outdoor air. the window above the sink that you were currently standing at let a breeze into the house that tickled you just enough to have your body bear a small chill. 
As you rinsed one of the bowls you had used this morning to prepare breakfast, your hips swayed side to side in a fluid manor that matched the rhythm of the song that lightly boomed out of the speaker which sat by the fruit bowl on the counter. The reason behind the low volume was that Logan was currently trying to put your youngest daughter down for her daily afternoon nap. If the wails and grumbling coming from the baby monitor was any indication, it wasn't going very well.
You dried off your hands and picked up the monitor, holding down on the button that allowed your voice to come through on the other end.
“You need some help?”
“We’re fine. I just cant find her goddamn pacifier.”
“Did you check on the shelf by her changing table?” you spoke again.
Suddenly the crying stops and you smile knowing he found it.
He lets out a quiet “Thanks.”
You set the monitor back down and go back the the half a dozen dishes left in the sink.
“Kid’s quite the screamer hm?” you announce as Logan walks out from the hallway a few minutes later.
“Yeah she is, I think she got it from her mother.” he jokes walking around the island to be closer to you.
You let out a breathy gasp like-laugh.
“Oh really?” you say in an exaggerated tone, humor still consuming it.
“Mhm, and speaking  of screaming...” he places his hands on your waist and squeezes a bit.
“We can’t baby, Laura's gunna be home in like ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes is enough time. I can’t help it, you just look so sexy--”
Before he can finish you interrupt.
“Logan, you know damn well ten minutes isn't enough time.”
“I just need something [Y/N].” he says as his hands find your breasts and you let out a small moan, abandoning the dish towel and griping the counter.
He kisses your neck, sucking and nipping at the soft flesh, which brings forth light breathy moans from your mouth.
You turn your head to kiss him and you can feel yourself throb a bit when your lips meet. his hands dip into your top and pull your breast out of their confines, teasing your nipples with his fingers.
He continues to grope and kiss you as his dominant hand makes its way into your pants.
You moan loudly into his mouth as the pad of his middle finger circles your clit a few times.
His lips separate from yours so he can speak.
“Hmm, You like that?” he says in his breathy and gruff voice.
You can’t seem to make out any words, so instead you offer an almost whiny sounding “Mhm.” as his fingers inch lower.
You gasp, throwing your head back onto his shoulder, your right hand coming up to hold the back of his neck, as his middle and ring fingers enter your tight lubricated hole.His fingers curling in the classic “come hither” position, making you squeeze around his digits.
Even after all of the time you had spent with Logan, your body still didn't know how to handle the pleasure, that being evident in the way that your back arched and you sporadically bucked your hips back into his crotch with every jolt of pleasure that you felt.
Your moans were absolutely erotic as he seemed to push further into you, finding that spot that did in fact make you scream.
And the explicit squelching noises were making you even more desperate as he fucks you with his fingers.
As you let out another slew of loud moans, you feel his hand come up to cover your mouth.
“As much as I love hearing those pretty noises you make, baby, you gotta be quiet.”
Your eyes rolled back and fluttered shut at his his words and the vibrations from your moans bouncing against his cupped hand.
His thumb starts to circle your clit in the same rhythm that his fingers were moving in.
God, you were so done for.
He releases his hand from over your mouth before he asks:
“You gunna cum?”
“Mhmm” you let out in high pitched whine.
“Ouh! Don’t stop.” you pleaded as that marvelous feeling started to take over.
“That’s right baby, jus like that.” he speaks, egging you on until your mouth falls open and your eyes squeeze shut, your orgasmic euphoria taking over.
Eventually your body comes back down to earth.
“Look at that, you got three minutes to spare.” he coos in a triumphant tone.
Your breath is heavy and you whimper slightly when he pulls his fingers out of you.
You glance over to the built in clock in the stove before readjusting yourself and catching your breath.
Turning around, you plant your hands on the space where his shoulders and neck connect, and kiss him. Your tongues danced together sensually until you pulled away.
“I wish I could return the favor...” you hum and he kisses you again.
“You will later.” he says as the screeching of the school bus tires alerts you of Laura’s homecoming.
You look up at him and bite your lip, giving him a sensual smile as you nod.
You separate from him as you hear the front door open, going over to greet Laura.
“Hey honey, how was school?”
You could hear Logan in the kitchen, chuckling at your total change in demeanor. 
You turn slightly to roll your eyes at him, but the small amused smirk on your face gives you away.
You turn back to your daughter as she answers you while getting her homework and lunchbox out of her backpack.
“It was alright. We got to watch a movie in my english class, so that was  nice.”
You follow her to the kitchen where she sits at one of the bar stools at the dark wood island, slapping her purple folder and pencil onto the table.
You noticed something off with the young mutant, like she wasn’t telling you something.
When she looked up to see you and Logan analyzing her, she knew she would have to put on a better performance if she wanted to keep her secret. Fortunately for you, she wasn’t feeling up for a challenge today. And it’s not that she wanted to hide what her friends had told her was called a “crush”, but she knew how her parents would probably react.
“Laura, is there something you need to tell us?” Logan spoke.
“Sweetheart, you know you can tell us anything, right?” you squeeze her shoulder in a loving manor.  
She nods, taking in a breath before turning to you and muttering: No puedes decírselo a papá... (You can’t tell daddy...)
Hearing this concerned you. Laura and Logan had a pretty open relationship, despite their constant bickering.
Your eyes quickly flick over to Logan, who was watching you and Laura, his arms crossed while he leans against the kitchen counter.
“Que es Laura?”
Logan was accustom to yours and Laura’s more private conversations you had in spanish. He wasn't really a fan, only because when they would occur, he felt left out. But, he figured this must be important and waited patiently before asking you what she had just said about him.
“Hay un chico en mi clase que está enamorado de mí.” (There is this boy in my class who is in love with me). Her voice is quiet, but her tone sounds exasperated.
Logan's brows furrowed when he heard “un chico”. He didn't know much spanish, but he did know that un chico meant a boy, and he did not like the sound of that.
You snort, your hand quickly flying up to cover your mouth before you speak.
“Aww Laura!”
A shy grin spreads across her face.
“What did she say?” Logan speaks up
You bite your lip, trying to hold in your small bit of laughter. You look over at Laura and can tell that, although she is nervous for what her fathers reaction may be, it would be best to tell him about her dilemma.
“Laura has a not so secret admirer.”
“He wrote me a note.” she says, grabbing a crinkled white paper from her pocket.
You could tell by her humorous tone that she found the situation comical, and didn't seem to reciprocate the feelings.
Logan on the other hand had immediately gone into full protective father mode, snatching the note from her hand, and reading over it to make sure nothing obscene had been written/drawn on it.
After he is finished looking at it he crumples it up and puts it in the garbage.
“No boys until you are 30.”
“Logan don’t be ridiculous.” you say, walking over to fish the note out of the can.
“I am not being ridiculous.” he scoffs, incredulously.
“In fact, I think I’m being a bit lenient. 30 years old is a perfectly reasonable age to start being romantic with someone.” he says, and now it was your turn to scoff as you hand the paper to Laura.
She makes a disgusted face and holds the very corner with her pointer finger and thumb. You couldn't tell if it was because it had been in the trash, or because of it’s contents.
You turn back to face Logan and cross your arms.
“You do realize that we’ve had a baby together and I’m not yet 30, right?”
He retracts slightly, and grumbles:
“That’s different.”
“Uh-huh” you reply sarcastically.
“The feelings are not mutual by the way.” Laura finally speaks up. Deciding to clear the air before an argument started brewing.
“I don’t have a crush on him.”
“That’s my girl.” Logan says, and you chuckle.
“That conversation is not finished by the way.” you say while you walk over to the pantry to get Laura a snack, Logan grimaces, thinking of the conversation that would come later.
“Daddy?”
“Hmm?”
“How did you and Mama end up together?”
“Uhh, well...” he starts, glancing up at you, not sure if it was the right time to share.
Yours and Logan’s story was a bit controversial. The reason being that you were only 19 when you first “got together”, and Logan was your ex-teacher. And it wasn't exactly the most orthodox either. Instead of the typical flowers and a dinner date, it was more like neither of you could sleep one night, and one thing led to another, which led to you waking up in his arms in the morning. You had always had romantic feelings towards The Wolverine. Though they were never truly discussed, you both knew they were there, and you knew they were unbreakable. So, after that night, you two became exclusive.
“We met at Charles’ school, you know that.” you speak, setting the packet of crackers in front of the pre-teen, and walking over to grab an apple to cut up for her.
Laura sighs, knowing that she probably wouldn't get the answer she was looking for if you weren't willing to share it.
She rips open the wrapper, glaring at Logan when he steals a cracker from her.
“Well, how did you know you had a crush on each other?”
You chuckle lightly as the knife cuts into the ripe and scarlet colored fruit.
“We didn’t exactly have a crush on each other, Laura.” Logan starts, but a dry cough finishes the sentence.
You look up at him, asking if he was alright with your eyes.
He gives you a blunt nod as he lets out a deep breath.
You notice your daughters furrowed brow as she munches on the biscuit, and elaborate on Logan’s previous statement.
“Your father and I’s relationship is a bit complicated and unconventional, Laura. What he was saying was that we have and had a connection on a level so much more than a crush.”
She nods and pops another cracker in her mouth.
“But,” the crisp sound of the apple interrupts you slightly.
“usually when you have a crush on someone, you get the feelings of butterflies in your stomach whenever you see or think about that person. You smile when they smile, and laugh when they laugh. You want to be around them all the time, and you try to get their attention. You sometimes get nervous, and jealous of others that are close to them.”
You place the apple slices on a plate and slide it over to her, cleaning up the slight mess you had made and you glance over at her.
Laura sat starring at the plate as she thought of all of her symptoms you had just listed.
“Why were you asking?” Logan asks, his voice stern and suspicious.
She looks up, once again nervous.
You smile, getting an inkling as to where this is going.
“Well, there’s this-”
“No Laura. No boys, remember?” Logan interrupts, his custodial protectiveness resurfacing.
“It’s not a boy.” she mutters.
Logan blinks a few times, looking over to your grinning face.
“It’s a girl?” he asks, making sure that he wasn’t getting mixed up at all.
Laura looks up from the oxidizing apples a second time and nods.
“Well,” he leans back in his seat, breathing out.
“Tell me ‘bout her.”
She grins and you smile back, lovingly.
And then she doesn’t stop talking about the girl with the dark umber skin and curly caramel highlights until you have to remind her to eat her apple slices.
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hyunderwater · 3 years
Text
fairy dust 02
pairing: jay x jungwon (enhypen) warnings: swearing, some mentions of baking but no real food mentions, minor sexual language and pet names genre: romance, heavy fluff (its jaywon what else would it be) a bit of pining summary: jay has caught the feels, but theres no way the blush on jungwon's face is because of him wc: 2.1k
ao3 link<-
01-02-03-04-05-06
Jay slumped over Jake’s bed, burying his face in Layla’s soft fur as she panted enthusiastically. “Guys, how do you know if you’ve caught the feels?” Sunghoon scoffed. “What are you, a Twice song? Wait.” He sucked in a loud, almost comical gasp. “JAY. Do you LIKE SOMEBODY?? WHO IS IT???” Jay felt his face heat up. “NO. Well.”
Sunghoon had bounded over towards him before he even had time to get out another word, plopping his body on top of Jay’s back. Jay swore he could feel his spine crack underneath the weight of the other boy. He mumbled into Layla, “Ouu feed tmo ret orfm meh.” Sunghoon, through magical 02z mind reading powers, managed to understand Jay’s incoherent words. “No, Park Jongseong, I will absolutely not remove myself from you until you tell me who, when, where and how.” Jay sighed into Layla, then lifted his head up a bit so he could speak more clearly. “Is this an interrogation?”
“Yes.” Jay groaned. “Is there any way to get you to shut up and get off me?” Sunghoon shook his head so vehemently that Jay could feel it through his perch on top of him. “JAKE!,” Jay yelled suddenly, shocking both of the others. “Jay, wh-”
“DEAL WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.” The statement was received with silence. Jay swore he could feel his ribs collapsing underneath Sunghoon. “Please?” Sunghoon’s eyes rolled audibly. “Park Jongseong, there is absolutely no way I am letting you go until you say something about this mysterious person you’ve got the feels for or whatever.”
“Something about this mysterious person you’ve got the feels for or whatever.”
“I sweAR TO FUCKING- JAKE GET ON TOP OF HIM, WE’RE BECOMING A TRASH COMPACTER.” Jay let out a strained chuckle. “Sick burn, bro.” He heard the bed creak as Jake moved closer, and suddenly talking didn’t seem too bad. “Fine, I’ll tell you, but I’m not gonna tell you the whole story cause you’ll think I’m on drugs or something.” Sunghoon slid off of Jay, finally giving him room to breathe, letting his screaming ribs rest. “The way you said that made it seem like you actually want us to know.” Jay silently cursed the world for giving him friends that could read him so well. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Jay inhaled a deep breath. “Do you guys remember when we lost the football in the forest, and you made me go get it?” Sunghoon slapped the back of his hand against his forehead dramatically. “JAKE. YOU SAID HE WOULD BE FINE. YOU SAID IT WAS JUST A NORMAL FOREST!” Jake snorted out a laugh. “Sunghoon, he’s literally telling us about the person he has feelings for. I don’t think that it has anything to do with magic.” That sentence was all it took for Jay to abruptly double over laughing, his lungs aching. “THAT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S LITERALLY A FUCKING FAIRY,” Jay wheezed, flopping over onto the bed. “WHAT?!” Sunghoon’s screech was so loud and shrill that Jay could swear he heard glass break somewhere. He laughed even harder, his body shaking from the exertion. “JAY PARK I SWEAR TO WHATEVER IS UP THERE, IF YOU DON’T STOP LAUGHING AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE NEXT TWO SECONDS I’M GONNA-” He scrunched his face up, searching for a suitable threat. “I’M GONNA STEAL ALL OF THE BUTTON-UPS FROM YOUR CLOSET AND CRUMPLE THEM.” Jay sobered up immediately, sitting up and taking Sunghoon’s cold hands in his own. “I am so incredibly sorry, Your Highness, I will tell you everything you want to hear.” Sunghoon chirped, “You better!” at the same time that Jake exclaimed, “Stop trying to steal my boyfriend! You have your own person!” Jay chose to respond to Jake. “I mean… does a fairy count as a person?” Sunghoon lost his mind again. Burying his face in the pillows, he let out a strangled scream. “You’re serious?,” Jake asked, his dark eyes widening. “Yeah.” Jay cocked his head to the side, watching Jake mimic the movement. “You look like your dog.” Several emotions passed across Jake’s face before he settled on just plain confused. “...my dog?” Jay waved his hands ungracefully in the air, drawing a wide circle around Jake’s face. “Yeah, you look like a confused little puppy.” Sunghoon, who seemed to have recovered from the initial shock, reached out to pat Jake’s head. “Yeah, you really do look like a puppy.” Jay felt a wave of disgust with just a bit of jealousy. “Um.” Remembering his presence, Sunghoon ripped his hand off of Jake’s fluffy hair to point it accusingly in Jay’s face. “Stop distracting us! How the hell did you end up getting a crush on a fairy?” Jay laughed sheepishly, nervously adjusting his shirt. “I wouldn’t really call it a crush…” Sunghoon leveled him the kind of look one gives a person when they are so incredibly done with their bullshit. “Jay. Spill.” Jay exhaled, focusing his eyes on the corner where the wall met the ceiling. “I smashed his berries.” Jake and Sunghoon exchanged glances. “I...is that some kind of fairy sex slang?” Jay choked on air. “Wha-NO! I literally stumbled and went hands-first into his wheelbarrow! I’m not joking!” Jake giggled. “Bro, that still sounds-”
“I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS. That’s literally what happened though. He got pissed and made me promise to come back and help him with something else to repay him and... I’ve gone to the forest twice since it started.” Sunghoon lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. “Hasn’t it been like a week? How long are you planning on doing this for?” Jay shrugged. “He has this bake-off with his friends in a week, and he made me promise to help him with it. I don’t know if he’ll even want me around anymore after that.” The other two had perked up at the mentions of food, clearly enticed. Sunghoon batted his eyelashes, pouting in a way that he (and Jake) clearly thought was adorable. “Do they need any judges?” Jay scoffed. “You’re just in it for the free food.”
“Duh. But we do also want to meet your little fairy boo.”
“Who the fuck says boo anymore?”
“Me, boo.”
Jay knew he had to broach the topic of inviting his friends to the cookout with Jungwon, but he had no idea how to start. The fairy had noticed how tense he looked, barely paying attention to the bread he was making to practice for the bakeoff. “Jay, what’s wrong?”
“Hmm?,” Jay hummed, still not fully there. Jungwon huffed in frustration, snatching the bowl of dough Jay was kneading away from him and catching Jay’s batter-sticky hands between his own. Jay looked down to where his hands were now curled around Jungwon’s tiny ones. He vaguely registered how soft and warm the fairy’s delicate hands were in his own slightly calloused grip. Snapping back to attention, he directed a confused look towards Jungwon. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna make your hands dirty.” Jungwon just tsked softly. “Jay, what’s wrong with you today?” he asked, his tough voice and the iron grip he had on Jay’s hands a stark contrast to the rosy blush that had appeared at the appearance of the now-familiar pet name out of Jay’s mouth. Jay shook his head wordlessly. Jungwon frowned, his cute nose scrunching up and his full lips diving into a pout.
It was like Jungwon’s cuteness was a bullet heading straight towards the carefully built boundaries around Jay’s heart and mind, and it hit just right, an arrow in the ankle of Achilles. Jay shattered. Before his common sense and self-control could catch up, his finger was lightly tapping Jungwon’s adorable nose, spotting it with a bit of floury dough, and the word “boop” left his traitorous mouth. It was almost funny how fast Jungwon’s mouth dropped open, like his nose was a button crafted to easily open it. Jay’s self-preservation skills had apparently still not caught up to the rest of him, because before he could stop himself, he had leaned over and popped one of the exotic, magical fruits of the forest into Jungwon’s wide open mouth. They stared at each other for a seemingly endless amount of time with neither of them moving an inch, Jungwon’s mouth frozen around the lavender fruit. Deciding to take advantage of Jungwon’s temporary statue-like state, Jay blurted, “Can some of my friends come to the bake-off? They offered to help judge, and they want to meet you, so.” Jungwon chewed thoughtfully, a million different things flashing behind his eyes. “Yeah, of course they can come, but do they know I’m a fairy?” Jay laughed sheepishly, a little guilt trickling in. He hadn’t even thought about how Jungwon might feel about Jay blabbing everything to his human friends. “Um, yeah. Sorry.” Jungwon tilted his head in confusion. “Wh-no, I’m actually happy you did. It can get… complicated. I once heard a story about someone’s human’s friends actually kidnapping the fairy.” Jay’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh my- My friends would never ever do that, don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart.” Jungwon blushed, shaking his head softly as if to dispel the words. “I think that they just wanted to see them up close, and I think that they’re fine now.” Jay smiled tensely, mentally attempting to close the little warning window that had popped up inside his head, blaring “JUNGWON IS ADORABLE” in all of its brightly colored glory. “Either way, you shouldn’t worry ‘bout that. My friends are too stupid to pull off something like that, and too nice to do anything to something that cute.” Jungwon heaved a sigh, planting his hands on his hips. The position made him look like a frumpy grandpa/teenage girl, and Jay couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him at the sight. Jungwon sighed again, a little louder and more drawn-out than last time. “Get back to work, Jay.” Jay laughed. “Okay, Wonie.” Jungwon was quite obviously caught off-guard, and Jay took that opportunity to swipe his thumb across the smear of dough on Jungwon’s nose, bringing it to his lips before realizing what he had done. He grimaced at the taste, scrunching his face at the tang of the raw flour. “Shit, I forgot what raw bread dough tastes like.” Jungwon had previously been just staring at Jay with a horribly concealed gay panic raging through his brain, but at the proclamation from Jay, he broke into laughter. “You’re so stupid, what were you thinking?”
Apparently, there’s a little thing inside Jay’s brain called a brain-to-mouth filter. Jay wants a new one. This one sucks.
“I was thinking that you look pretty when you’re flustered.” Jungwon’s expression was almost unreadable save for his eyes. They were the largest Jay had ever seen, and they were searching his own like they could find the answers to all of his questions inside of Jay’s irises. Jay thought he caught a hint of desperation climbing up inside of the dark pools of Jungwon’s eyes, the same ones he always caught himself diving into when he should be listening to Jungwon’s very important lectures about scavenging in the fairy forest.
His soft, pleasantly cool hand found its way to Jay’s neck. The small fingers caressed the side of his neck and trailed up to his cheek, almost like the fairy was savoring the moment. He couldn’t be; Jay might not quite know how fairies worked, but he was sure there was no way whatever the hell he felt towards Jungwon was reciprocated. “Get back to work, please. You’re distracting me.” Jungwon patted Jay’s face one more time before his hand slipped off of Jay’s cheek and he turned to go back to his own work, unaware of the way his touch had burned searing paths across Jay’s skin everywhere it had made contact.
Jay could barely concentrate on his bread for the rest of the time, too busy reliving every moment that had just occurred. Maybe Jungwon is into you too! chirped the eternally annoying voice in the back of Jay’s mind that was starting to sound more and more like the familiar lilts of Sunghoon’s voice. He scoffed quietly, staring down at the dusting of flour on his hands. There’s absolutely no way...right? He chanced a glance at Jungwon, shocked to find the fairy already staring at him. Their eyes met, and Jungwon hastily cleared his throat and looked away, the familiar flower-pink blush rising in his cheeks. A sparrow chirped from a nearby tree, causing Jungwon’s face to split into a gorgeous, dimpled smile. Jay had the strange urge to poke a finger into them. Yeah. Absolutely no way.
<<<previous next>>>
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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
Text
yet another ask dump yeehaw!
do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?
sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.
Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.
barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'
john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,
Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen
thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien
AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls
uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background
Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla
wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?
young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman
tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'
Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)
uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.
in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)
yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.
Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )
as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.
Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan
listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude
Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?
everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.
why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people
what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨
Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes
well that's a you problem isn't it?
do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?
he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.
holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!
i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird
Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.
Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.
uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho
your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.
actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)
This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )
because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.
Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing
well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.
The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2
oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.
I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)
okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.
The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that
also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson
Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks
because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)
About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.
i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.
Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)
i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck
Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)
fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)
How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot
i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)
So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)
aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!
The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌
i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids
as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️
thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)
In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"
this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"
honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?
gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.
why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family
bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)
Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy
why would say something so controversial yet so brave.
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position
tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000
dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'
dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it
I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok
i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.
Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk
bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism
you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy
like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.
ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE
thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.
in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman
absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.
need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes
yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days
oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit
okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)
I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free
cw is jared, 19
do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it
uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club
Wait how many languages do you speak??
uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.
You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty
okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.
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whoiwanttoday · 3 years
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Hey guys, here is Aisling Bea who is either sort of famous or quite famous in the UK as a stand up comedian, I am never sure, fame is hard to measure from afar. It's important to note that while she is famous in the UK, she is not British, but rather Irish, which is not only not the same thing but the sort of thing that could get you into a whole lot of trouble for implying is a thing. Which is one of two reasons I bring it up, the other being that I think foreign born comedians who work in the UK but are not British might be a thing I am into. I've kept it secret until now but there is another one who almost got posted about a week ago cause I am watching Taskmaster, a very British show in that it is a panel show that is very dumb in the smartest way and results in just being hilarious when it should not be. It's the sort of thing the British do exceptionally well and we'd find a way to just absolutely fuck up here in the US. We do this a few ways, one is by never trusting anything so someone would see the show and decide they need to make it "exciting," which is completely missing the point. The point is that telling 5 comedians to eat a watermelon is not exciting or inherently funny, what makes it funny is watching 5 comedians go about a task and then talk about it because they are all entertaining and funny people. We'd add fire or lasers or something which sounds like a good thing but it never turns out to be. You just end up with stupid nonsense that is not entertaining. Second, we never bring our best talent. I don't know what the difference is, maybe it's that there isn't a major movie industry to steal people away but Britain always seems to just stack these shows with their funniest people. We'd get Z list comedians who are often funny but not draws, so no one would watch and by the second episode someone would go, "The ratings suck, we need to add fire and lasers". So I am jealous of the UK in that sense. Aisling Bea is a very pretty and very funny Irish woman and if you need proof she's Irish try to say her name out loud. Now the way you said it, absolutely not how it's pronounced because that's not how they do names in Ireland. There's no SH but boy is there an SH sound. Anyway, as I said, I have been loving this show but British shows are so short we are on to a new set of comics very quickly, so she is the first to make it here. I will say, the show does explain why Brexit happened, though. At least through my understanding it was because British men hate foreigners, and that seems unfair but perhaps it's quite feminist, cause guys, I know an English Woman and she is really funny. But somehow in 4 seasons of this show, two years the only woman on the show isn't English. She's Canadian or Irish. That means either British women are not funny, a thing that I know not to be true, or it means foreign women are coming in and stealing jobs from funny English women. I am still against Brexit but I feel more comfortable with it knowing ti was motivated by a deep seceded desire among certain Brits to make sure their women get a fair shot (though I would argue there is not actual limit for the number of women you can have on the show if you want but baby steps). Anyway, I have seen clips of Aisling Bea before and she is very funny and I am liking her on the show and loving the show, I really do recommend it. Today I want to fuck Aisling Bea.
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Hey, do you have anymore thoughts on Membrane's parents? I know we only got a brief glimpse of them, but they're so interesting yet there's so little fan content about them. That, or I'm looking in the wrong place haha.
Ps. If I am looking in the wrong tags or place could you please direct me to the right ones?
Ah, I talked a little bit about Membrane’s parents here during my first ramblings of the quarterly and I did talk a little about that headcanon here but I might as well repeat it again. 
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Like I do find it interesting, the idea that his parents are scientists. Like Membrane tried following in his parents’ footsteps and unintentionally put that pressure onto Dib as he grew up... but for me personally, there’s just a lot of reasons this doesn’t make sense.
Like Why is adult Professor Membrane the brand and face of Membrane Labs and Membrane Enterprises when it was apparently a company he inherited from his parents? Of course, it could be that Membrane did make Membrane Labs himself and his parents were just scientists and Membrane Labs wasn’t really founded, but that makes less sense.
I always kinda viewed Membrane as someone who appreciated the value and effort of hard work ethic and built everything from the ground up with his bare hands and became the World Famous Man of Science all his own and it was his Legacy. Kinda like Scroodge McDuck and his fortune. Making Membrane inherit a company from his parents kinda loses a bit for me for him as a character. 
Why did his Parents give him socks for Christmas and claim it was from Santa? They know what Uranium238 is. I’m certain of that. It could have been a Christmas Story situation like “you’ll shoot your eye out kid” but Santa is the one who gives their kids the “cool gifts” I thought every parents knew that. It’s just one of those unspoken rules...... but like... to give him socks...
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Like were they really that cruel? It’s kinda hard to say...  But it does kinda paint a bad image that they did have 100% the capabilities to give him what he wanted for Christmas... and they never bothered to explain to Membrane WHY he was given socks. 
LIKE LOOK, THESE TWO FUCKS LEAVE MEMBRANE IN THE DARK FOR YEARS ABOUT THE TRUTH OF SANTA CLAUS JUST CAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT THEY FUCKED UP, EVEN WHEN HE PROBABLY WENT TO FAR:
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I can only assume that these two science parents are dead, just from how Membrane regards them when he holds that photoframe...(and the fact that we never see them) but honestly, they were probably still around when he was a teenager and still dedicating a portion of his life to destroying santa...
I know Membrane is as thick-headed and stubborn as Dib, so maybe they tried to explain it to him, and Membrane didn’t listen, or his parents suck at explaining things... but like.... come on...  it’s your direct responsibility for unleashing this childhood santa trauma/rage....  You owe it to Membrane to be direct with him... 
But then again, Dib never listens when his Dad tries to explain what he thinks about Aliens, Cause Membrane doesn’t Not believe in aliens. He in fact says so in the show.
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So perhaps they were and he just didn’t listen... there’s that...
Why is this family so obsessed with seeking the truth, but don’t listen to anyone’s opinions who are different from their own.... sigh this family.
But in any point, they could have at least said why they can’t give him Uranium238... but if they do, it’s off-screen and no further context is provided to the audience... 
It just makes sense for me that either Membrane’s family is poor, or they didn’t know what Uranium238 is... Making his Parents be scientists as well just throws a whole bunch of questions about just.... everything about this situation. It really makes me ask:
“Did his parents not give it to him because it was dangerous?”
“Or did they give him socks cause they were that unaware of what their son wanted?”
“Did they just give him socks cause they were that cruel as Membrane didn’t want to believe?” 
“If so, why socks? Why not a rocket ship or a science playset or baking volcano kit or something?” 
It just raises a whole lot more questions.
A more simple explanation that gets rid of those questionable morale questions is that his Parents were poor from a humble upbringing and could only afford him socks for Christmas. It’s a more logical and simple explanation and it’s far more cleaner than having his parents be scientists in this. 
Another thing that bothers me is Membrane’s “childhood home” in general. Look at this place:
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This huge place, with a giant rocket ship, dressed to the nines in Christmas decorations.
It also very clearly shows the interior. 
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We see the living room couch, and multiple Christmas trees and this huge rocketship/missle thing front and center.
And if we compare it to Membrane’s childhood home in the Invader Zim episode this is supposed to be taking place in:
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Now I know that the Invader Zim show has a darker color palate than the comics and even the Netflix movie, but I’m not talking about colors here...
A smaller tree that practically touches the ceiling, Fluorescent overhead lighting,  something that looks like a couch or a side table with noticeable stains on it... garland pinned to the walls with a lower ceiling... 
This looks NOTHING at all like how Membrane’s “childhood home” is like in the comics...
This is obviously not a wealthy home, or the home of a respected enterprise as shown in the comics. 
Now, I know this franchise has a thing for inconsistencies. Canon is basically non-canon. There is no continuity, and there is no continuous timeline of events... but to model Professor Membrane’s childhood home so vastly different from this brief flash in the show, that’s a pretty big one... 
So me and @paketdimensioncomic made a theory that can kind of coincide with our fics... 
We think that 
SUPER PERFECT SCIENTIST PARENTS.....  are what Membrane wishes his parents were probably like.
And that he lied to the press about his humble origins and upbringing. He didn’t want them to know that he grew up poor because it would be something constantly brought into question everytime he posed everything... He didn’t want his parents talked about in the media at all, especially if they were passed by the time he became successful. 
So... I think Membrane’s scientist parents are an elaborate lie. He told the press. I mean, He is a scientist, he always wanted to be a scientist, he is good at being a scientist and both of his parents were scientists...
I mean... He didn’t seem too concerned about the photo of his supposed parents.. he even threw it to the wall when his son called:
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RIP parents.... he hardly knew you.
Do I think the Membrane Science Grandparents have a cool design and I want to see more fan content on them? Absolutely! Go nuts!
Do I think that Membrane’s parents being scientists makes little to no sense and was just kinda made for the sake of a dumb joke without giving too much thought about how it would lessen Membrane as a character if he were just leaching off his parent's success this whole time? And does it poke a lot of holes in the idea of why his parents gave him socks as santa at all? Absolutely.
I think it’s far more likely that Membrane built up this backstory of “I was always a scientist since birth” to the press and has more fake photoshopped photos around the house to show the press when the topic of his parents actually come up.
Basically, the fandom has been around for a long time you can do what you want with Membrane parent theories because as far as I’m concerned, I always appreciated the vibe of “Poor upbringing Membrane who learned the value of hard work and unintentionally became a workaholic because of it and really put too much value in work to the point he’s unintentionally neglectful towards his own offspring the same as his father was to him” 
Rather then.... “Science parents go brrr”
But again, just my headcanon.
And I always love people drawing the science parents. 
But @esthyradler‘s Farmer Membrane Parents are definitely my favorites. 
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m4st4rd · 4 years
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i would die for you, clint barton (clint barton x oc)
a/n: HI I’M BACK with a stupid little drabble. the talented @obwjam has reignited my love for comics!clint barton so i wrote a fic of him and an oc. i haven’t proofread it and the ending super sucks but i still managed to churn out about 1900 words so enjoy!!!
i’ll proofread/edit in the morning lol
brig is nb; they/them pronouns pls 
They’re scared, and Clint gets it. He’d be scared, too, if there was some weird giant searching for him. He’s no stranger to the feeling of fear. But when he’s the one causing it, it feels terrible. 
   Brooklyn is in shambles. A new supervillain group tests their weapons on a bank in Bushwick, the Avengers are on the case, a city block is engulfed in chaos and violence. And Clint Barton is searching for a 3-inch-tall person who’s hiding in the alleyway of a Dunkin Donuts.
   He sighs and kneels down, peering under the dumpster. Huddled in the dark is the shaking borrower, who stares back with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. They look like crap: covered in dried blood and dirt, their clothes torn and ratty. But the little guy is stubborn as hell, and hurls a pebble in his direction. They miss by a long shot. He would’ve laughed if the city wasn’t on fire.
   “C’mon out, bud,” he says. A faint boom! rattles the world behind him. “It’s not safe under there. Are you lookin’ to be caught? A rat, an alley cat… God forbid, there might be a human who ain’t as nice as I am.” With a nervous glance behind him, he sees Kate dart past, notching an arrow and letting it fly. “Not to mention that the city’s comin’ apart.”
   They shout something back, and Clint can barely piece together the words leave and alone. It’s not helpful, though, that they’re so small and covered in shadow. And the fact that he can see their teary eyes in the dark is not helping his conscience. Another explosion shakes the earth, and the borrower lets out a wail that he does hear. 
   They’re both getting frantic. He softens his face, puts a pleading look into his eyes. “Please,” he calls. “I can keep you safe.” 
   The borrower doesn’t get to respond. A scream rips through the air, and he’s made up his mind. He jumps to his feet and drags the dumpster back, only getting a glimpse of the sheer terror on their tiny face before he scoops them up in a fist and tucks them into a jacket pocket. It’s not ideal, but if it means they won’t be crushed or eaten, he’ll take it. 
   They’re writhing, and he ignores it. The feeling of them shaking against his chest forms a pit in his stomach. They’re scared, but at least they’re safe.
   The rest of the battle zips by like a blur. Clint spends it shielding the borrower, dodging rubble, and praying to whatever gods present for this little guy to not be so terrified of him. Their shaking has stopped for now, but they’re stiff as a board and flinching with every move he makes. When the fight dies down, he’s left nursing a wound on his shoulder and cupping his hand around his pocket. He’s gotta get out of there, and fast.
   His free hand finds his comms, and he sends a quick farewell message to Kate. She responds quick, familiar beeps filling his ears: Get home safe. See you soon, Hawkeye.
   The message brings a smile to his face, but it disappears when he remembers his job. His day isn’t over yet. 
   He runs his way home. 
   The apartment greets him with blinding fluorescents and a mess on his coffee table. Things that are normally hangover-induced nuisances are now pushed to the far corners of his mind as he limps to his counter. 
   His fingers dive into his pocket, and he does his best to be gentle, but with the little guy swerving away from his hand, he ends up tangled around their limbs, pulling them out in a quivering heap. They’re a pitiful sight; their tiny face is tear-stained, and once they lock eyes, the poor kid flinches back into their protective huddle. 
   They’re speaking, and fast. That much he knows. Their voice is buzzing away. But he can’t understand anything that's coming out. He gets the gist of what they might be saying: there’s a pleading look in their eyes, and their lip is quivering. He doesn’t like this feeling.
   “Hey,” he whispers, cupping his hands closer around the tiny body. “Hey. Look at me.” He nudges their shoulder. They’re practically humming with anxiety. “C’mon, calm down, buddy. You’re okay.” 
   They aren’t making any progress like this. Clint lowers his hands to the countertop and the borrower stumbles off, clutching their chest and scrubbing the tears from their eyes. “Look,” he says softly. “Not touching you anymore, see? You’re fine. You’re okay.”
   He watches with a pang in his heart as they cry for a bit, hugging their knees to their chest, and takes the time to look them over. Their hair is dark and matted, their clothes patchy, their face young, but thin and gaunt. This isn’t the same stubborn little guy he’d met an hour ago; this is someone who is absolutely-fucking-terrified of him. He can barely deal with crying people at his own height; he can’t even begin to comfort someone who’s three inches tall.
   Reasoning sets in as they clear their eyes of the last of their tears. Even if he was well-intentioned, he did sorta… take them. Grab them up and stick them in a pocket. If some giant had done that to him, he’d be pretty scared, too. 
   “Do you understand me?” he tries. The tiny head snaps up, and the kid babbles something that vaguely sounds like sorry and don’t hurt. “No, no, I promise I’m not gonna hurt you… Fuck. I was — I was just tryna keep you safe!” It’s hard to read lips on such a small face, but he gets the gist of it, and it hurts like hell.
   This isn’t working out so great. “Let’s start over, okay? I’m Clint. Clint Barton. And I — I can’t hear you all that well.” 
   That gets them to shut up. The fear disappears from their face, replaced by sheer bewilderment.  (Yeah. As if they’re the one that should be surprised.) They scrub their eyes and stare at him in awe, and Clint can’t help but chuckle. “Weird, I know. But we can figure somethin’ out, alright? You okay to talk? Or just… shake your head, yes or no.” 
   That gets a timid nod. “Great. Good. Not hurt, are you?” A shake. “Thank God for that.” Now we’re getting somewhere. But Clint needs to ask them questions, and he needs to get answers. How is he supposed to talk to someone smaller than his finger?
   His mind is racing. Sign language! It’s a long shot, but just maybe he can get through to them.
   “Do you understand this?” His hands move slow, just in case. But it doesn’t go the way he’s hoping. The borrower shrieks and falls back, and they’re both back to square one. “No, hey, wait! It’s okay!” He signs while he speaks, and the kid watches every move he makes with terrified eyes. “Look — it’s a language! My name is Clint. C-L-I-N-T.” Each letter is deliberate, and with each second, the little guy uncurls from their protective ball. “Now that I’ve told you my name, will you tell me yours?”
   They both fall silent. He holds his breath and watches the tiny face with a furrowed brow. It’s small, almost impossible to see, but there’s a hint of hope in their eyes. He’s so overcome with joy that he doesn’t notice them open their mouth.
   “...ig.”
   He freezes. “Sorry, what?”
   They wither back. “Brig,” they say, louder this time. Their voice is muffled and nervous, but it’s there. And Clint can’t stop himself from smiling. 
   “Brig,” he repeats. “That’s B-R-I-G. See?” He grins. They’re still cautious, but they watch his hands with curious eyes as he signs their name. “It’s nice to meet you, Brig.”
   Good! This is good. Clint can see them coming out of their shell, little by little. They look unsure, but their hands twitch in time with his. “There’s so much you can say with just your hands! This is hello, and this is goodbye. Yes, no, please and thank you— I can teach you, if you want!”
   The magic is gone, and Brig snaps back into their defensive huddle. “T-teach me?” they squeak. “But… would mean…” They glance around the kitchen, eyes widening as they take in the sight. They’re so small compared to everything else. “What about… home?”
   He’s overstepped his boundaries. He kneels to get closer to their level. They reel back, a gesture that goes unnoticed in his concern. “Was that where you live?” he asks. “Near where the fight was?”
   They’re quick to nod. “Left… a bit,” they say. “Rats.” The last syllable is loud, clear, and bitter. “Got caught… the fight.” Brig shrugs, looking nervous and embarrassed. “And by you.”
   Clint frowns. A place like that is dangerous for someone of their size, but he’s in no place to argue. “Is there anyone you stay with? Any family or friends you can go back to?”
   Now they’re silent. His heart plummets when they grimace and look away, a sadness creeping into their eyes. Realization crashes over him when they shake their head.
   He hadn’t thought of that. 
   “You don’t have to stay,” he says gently. Guilt lingers in his chest as he leans back, too, suddenly self conscious about his hands. “I-I can get you back home if you need me too — I can’t imagine it’s all that safe, but if that’s what you want…” The borrower is tense, and Clint is cursing himself for being so hopeful. 
   Finally, after a minute of mulling it over, he gives a resigned sigh. “Damage Control is cleaning the place up,” he tells them. “They should be done in a week or two, okay? You can stay with me, but when they’re done… I’ll bring you back.” Every word hurts more than the last. “Only if you want to. How’s that sound?”
   The kitchen falls silent. Clint’s heart is beating fast, and he bites his tongue as conflicting emotions flicker across the tiny face. “I-I can bring you back now, if you like,” he stammers. “Ya don’t have to stay. A-and you don’t have to tell me exactly where you live, but I can just drop you off and you can be on your way and we’ll b —”
   “I’ll stay.” 
   This time, the little voice comes out strong. “You — you will?” he says.
   They nod shyly in response, and he can piece together what they say next: “Just… back… my feet.” Just until I’m back on my feet. 
   He can live with that.
   Clint’s heart swells with triumph. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy. There’s no explaining why he feels this way. “O-Okay. Awesome. Welcome home, Brig.”
   He glances back at the mess in his apartment, then to the mess of his clothes, too. They’re both covered in dust and blood, but neither care about it as Clint laughs. “We should probably get cleaned up first, though. What do you say?”
   He’s smiling. And for the first time all day, Brig is smiling, too.
   They’ve got a lot of work to do.
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phoebehalliwell · 3 years
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what are your thoughts on thruples? cause I keep thinking about Paige/Henry/Coop, especially with Henry and Coop's epic bromance in the comics
ooh that could be very interesting. personally, i'm game for throuples (tho i will say i Hate the word throuple i think it sounds gross just like you know moist or something so i usually just say "poly relationship") but i do kind have beef when it's like. like you know the meme "it doesn't have to be like this [blank] has two hands"? funny meme i do like it but i hate when a poly relationship is just kinda an excuse to merge two couples rather than something that like emerges as distinct relationships between all three parties. like bella edward and jacob as a couple like. shure because bella loves edward and bella loves jacob but jacob and edward really don't like have anything there it's more like roommates who share a girlfriend rather than a poly relationship. one piece of media that i think really did it well was siren on freeform which i highly recommend the first two seasons it kinda goes off the rails s3 and then was cancelled but the first two season it really spends time fleshing out all aspects of the relationships between ben, ryn, & maddie and it also actually goes canon which is lit 🤙🤙
but basically. if i were to do a paige/henry/coop, i think i would start with specifically a paige/coop bromance introduce henry into the mix & let it blossom from there so like. as previously stated. i think each leg of the triangle here needs to be strong n steady on its own so um underneath the cut is i believe a record breaking 6.6k
rip richard but we'll say richard also died in this au rip. and then, of course, kyle also died. idk if he's a whitelighter or not but the point is paige has this weight on her chest like god i can't save these people i can't save the people i love ouch everything hurts
& that's when coop shows up!
and we'll have his introduction plot be a fusion of heartbreak city and the magic hour where coop's got this relationship and it's perfect they're so in love but there's this demonic interference and it's gonna kill one or both of them so he busts down the charmed ones' door like hi you guys are protectors of the innocent right well i have some innocents in dire need of protection
to which this duty gets turfed to paige because piper idk has work and phoebe has a date and phoebe's like i can cancel it to help! and coop's like what no the whole reason i'm here is love go go find love paige can totally handle this
and paige is like :| because she really doesn't want this gig and coop's explaining it all to her how this love is going to be broken up by a magical death unless they stop it and paige is like okay look here coop let's not get our expectations up to high because in my experience almost all relationships end in a magical death and coop’s like !!!
and immediately does like a cupid reading on her and paige is trying to bat him away like ew no i do not need any love guru-ing right now okay let’s just fix your thing and then you can leave okay
and coop’s like no don’t you see? this is fate, the fact that it’s you and me on this, it means i’m meant to be here, i’m meant to help you find love
and paige is like uh no it means piper’s a mother of two and phoebe’s on a date while i am the tragic spinstress of magic school (which is still under her charge just bc it is we didn’t abandon it)
and coop’s like nope. it’s fate. and paige rolls her eyes and coop’s like come on, like you don’t believe in fate and paige is like actually i don’t! and coop just smiles at her bc he knows she’s lying and paige knows she knows he’s lying and she tries to sneer at him but it’s just insanely half hearted bc to be honest her heart kinda skipped a beat with that smile but no
absolutely not
dude, all she gets is cursed love, and now a cupid?
she can’t go through all that she can’t fight for love only to watch him die no she’s gonna ignore it he’s not that cute anyways oh fuck he totally is but whatever!!! doesn’t matter
so blah blah blah paige and coop save the day including one moment where idk there’s an explosion or something they have to dodge something hide for attackers something where they get thrown up against a wall faces inches apart from each other breathing heavy undeniably a moment which they both Immediately break because wooooah that is a little too much chemistry!! better act like that never happened
and you know next episode or whatever coop’s like okay let’s find you love!! and paige is like not now i’m at work and coop’s like in an alleyway and paige is like i need to look after my charge and then after that i need to grade papers and after that i need to order cauldrons and after that-
and coop’s like find love?
and paige is like no. i need to.... but um she forgot the rest of her list
and coop’s like find love excellent sounds great!
and paige is like anyone ever tell you you’re really annoying and coop’s like nope i’m a cupid :0)
and blah blah blah they’re arguing and something something w paige’s charge and paige is like i gotta go talk to him but coop holds her back because wait who’s that approaching him and paige is like fuck that must be his parole officer bc idk he’s doing something that is obviously breaking parole and paige is like aaaaaaa what do we do and then it’s a henry face reveal and both paige and coop are like woah.
but then paige is storming off trying to like try to fight henry and henry’s like what the fuck is this?? and coop’s running up like hi i’m also here and speed’s like i-cannot stress this enough-do not know any of these people and coop’s like you don’t know us yet and paige is like you can’t do this speed’s a good kid and speed’s like yeah!!
and henry’s like he was so very obviously breaking parole and paige is like he’s a kid and henry’s like a kid who’s been to juvie!! twice!!! and who should know the damn rules by now
and paige is like look something something clever talk bargaining whatever puts something of her own at stake and henry’s like you’re really gonna risk it all on this kid and paige is like yes. he’s destined for greatness. and speed is like yeah!! and henry’s like fine. whatever. but when the other shoe drops, you know like i’m gonna cash in whatever wager paige made here
& he leaves
and speed’s like thanks also who are you and idk we get a paige monologue something full of love and spirit and coop’s also there still and speed’s listening to this monologue kinda like um okay bc honestly? just met her five minutes ago this is kind of a lot but coop’s listening to this monologue like wow😍
so idk speed leaves and coop’s like hey so do you pick a fight with all the guy’s you find attractive and paige is like what
and coop’s like well i’m just saying you know with richard with kyle with me and now with henry i’m kinda sensing a pattern there
and paige is like did you just include yourself on that list and coop’s like i mean yeah duh
and paige kinda wants to argue back but her blush is giving her away so it’s best just to change the subject so what you think i should be going for the parole officer?
and coop’s like yes! didn’t you feel it there was a spark there passion energy something that with the help of yours truly can easily turn into love and paige is like yeah no. absolutely not.
and coop’s like come on why not he was hot and paige is like yeah well if he’s so hot why don’t you date him and coop pauses like hmm like genuinely consider and paige is like don’t do that
and coop’s like why not and paige is torn between don’t date him because i actually did feel that spark and i do kinda like him and also don’t date him because if you’re gonna date anyone it should be me but both those are too embarrassing to say out loud to her cupid so instead she just says conflict of interest
and we flash forward to later idk when the point is speed is doing graffiti on public property but not just like stupid pointing a spray can at something la la la like proper graffiti like an artform but as it is unfortunately public property that is Illegal so it breaks parole
so idk henry’s there and busts him and paige senses speed’s in trouble so she shows up and henry’s like good you’re here. i’m not actually gonna cash in the thing that you wagered because that’d be unfair, because i know the kid, i know that he always let’s you down and speed’s like hey man
but paige is looking up at the wall and she’s like don’t you get it and henry’s like ...no and paige is like it’s art. it’s a release, it’s a coping mechanism and speed’s like idk that’s all sounding a little bit pretentious for a bit of graffiti and paige is like you can’t arrest him for this and henry’s like it’s literally illegal. & i already let him walk once what part of this aren’t you getting
and then there’s like a. idk cop radio thing i don’t know how police work that’s talking about how whatever gang speed used to run with just robbed some place but they’re hot on their tail bc their getaway driver sucks and henry’s looking at speed bc speed Is the getaway driver hence the name and henry’s like how come you aren’t driving that car huh
and speed just shrugs and henry’s like no how come you’re not driving that car what you swap out one crime for another you’re getting busted either way and speed like shrugs 
and paige is like he’s creating art instead and henry’s like did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speed shrugs and henry’s did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speeds like yes man they did i said no and henry looks up at the art
and it’s some super nail on the head craving freedom thing a bird breaking free from a cage type shit and it’s gorgeous
and henry looks at paige like what are you, huh
and paige is like freelance guardian angel
and henry just uncuffs speed and speed’s like what are you doing and henry’s like go. next time you do this find a wall that isn’t public property
and speed can’t help it he kinda smiles n runs off and henry just looks at paige bc what the hell has this girl gotten into him bc normally he’s just got such a concrete shell but she’s smiling at him like he just made the right choice and he’s really gotta fight the urge to smile back. what the fuck
so he says something stupid and leaves
and later paige is doing something when boom coop is here invading her personal bubble bc that’s become their new mode of communication is there are one thousand empty chairs and coop is seated in one paige will walk over and sit on that same chair that’s how they operate bc again there’s this sense of longing for one another and they both know they can’t go for it so instead they just opt for this intense intimacy passed off as friendship
and paige is like met the parole officer again and coop’s like oh henry mitchell? and paige is like how do u know his full name and coop’s like did my research<3 and they’re talking blah blah blah idk and it’s both how to land a date with this guy and also heavy flirting at the same time. and then like phoebe walks into the room and they snap apart like magnets with the same polarity i think?? been a while since the fifth grade and their language just becomes so much more stifled
to which phoebe is vaguely aware and this is a change but we as the audience are super aware it’s a change meaning that their constant flirty banter is a choice on both parts they are both very consciously doing this
and then i don’t know there’s something bigger going on in the main plot which has been building and the main villain needs something magical from each type of being so a cupid’s next on the grocery list so idk coop is either out minding his own business getting coffee or he’s out on reconnaissance on henry when all of a sudden he’s attacked!! by idk an arrow seems convenient honestly we should do a bow and arrow an homage to in original cupid iconography
and henry’s in proximity and sees this and idk maybe they’re somewhere where there aren’t that many people just so you know u can be attacked by a bow and arrow and henry’s like what the fuck!??!?! running over to help him and he vague recognizes him as the angel’s friend but is mainly like holy shit did you just get shot with a bow and arrow and henry’s like i’ll call an ambulance i’ll drive u to the hospital
and coop’s like no no uhh can’t go with the whole i am actually a magical being i exist in no databases and also have no money so instead goes with the i have no health insurance and henry’s like hmm. fuck.
so the next thing you know coop’s on henry’s couch and henry’s doing rudimentary first aid and coop’s really trying to hobble away because if he can just get to paige she can heal this because she unlocked that power in like s5 or s6 in a more natural progression but henry’s not letting him leave because dude you have an arrow in your chest
and now we’re doing the hurt comfort schtick with the meaningful glances and also coop is shirtless bc well you know Arrow In Chest and he’s also in henry’s apartment which is offering a very weird sense of intimacy
and there’s also this kind of banter going because coop’s like no i’m fine i can leave this is fine and henry’s like dude. please let me at least try to help you and after that you can walk right out of here and go repuncture your lung. but just. while you’re. let me do what i can
and coop’s like okay because like. well i mean a) gotta keep up appearances like he’s mortal and b) henry’s kinda fine so sure he can play doctor what’s the worse that can happen
and henry’s like okay we gotta get this arrow out of you so um. any ideas on how to do that? and coops like yeah break off the feathered part and then pull the rest through
and henry’s just like yeah? you have experience with this? and coop’s like once or twice and henry’s like what do you do?
and coop’s like ... relationship therapist
and henry’s like are relationship therapists frequently attacked by archers and coop’s like yeah more often than you’d think 
and henry removed the arrow and the actual point stabby bit of the arrow is shaped like a heart just for funsies bc it’s for cupids but henry’s looking at this like relationship therapist hunting arrow??
anyways. henry is pressing some bandages against coop’s chest to staunch the bleeding and there’s a Moment there to which henry kinda falters because woah gay thoughts?? and the pressure lightens but then o shit i’m lightening the pressure don’t do that!! so he pushes hard and coop’s like aa!! and henry’s like fuck jesus and coop just kinda laughs like i guess you don’t patch up arrow wounds that frequently and henry’s like yeah actually you’re my first!!
something something something coop’s patched up and henry gives him once of his shirts because coop’s shirt had to be cut off him bc of the arrow and we get one of the classic how to i look / starstruck moments because hell yeah we do
and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah coop makes it home and paige is like where in god’s name did u get that shirt bc it looks nothing like what coop would wear in fact in kinda reminds her of
believe it or not, henry
hot parole officer henry?
the one and only
and paige is like you slept with him??? and coop’s like close. i was shot with an arrow and he patched me up
and paige is like !!! because you know main plot evil all this that coop takes off henry’s shirt so paige can see the wound and heal it and she’s looking at henry’s handiwork and it really is the old college try but that man is not a medic so now paige is laying her hand on coop’s bare chest and phoebe walks in and immediately turns on a heel like i’ll give you guys some space!!
and paige is like no it’s fine i’m healing him he was shot main plot and phoebe’s like oh
and then later phoebe’s talking with paige like okay you and coop tho. bc like. ik ik healing or whatever. but like. 👀👀.
and tbh paige has been waiting for this because she really needs to unpack bc like i know!! because coop and i have this thing and it’s a great thing but it like can’t be a thing it’s a forbidden thing but i want it to be a thing but at the same time there’s this other guy and i can’t get him off my mind and i’m worried i’m just viewing him as a safer alternative instead of coop but like. idk he was just my backup i feel like i would be more lukewarm about it. but i’m not. like. i’m really not i kind wish i was because i don’t know if i can do a relationship again especially because he’s mortal like i can’t have someone i care for die again so maybe it’s safer just to keep what i have with coop or maybe even to explore that further? and keep henry safe? but like this and that and this and that
and phoebe’s like buzzing because it’s been a while since she’s had such an interesting love mess to tinker with so the first thing she does is go to coop just to see what she can sus out there Meanwhile paige is with speed where you ask? p3. well, outside of it
speed is painting the side of the club with this amazing artwork and clearly there’s this vein of magic running through it with certain symbols all that and he’s using paintcans and paige has her paintbrush and is adding smaller pieces as well
and she’s like hey where’d you get like that idea or thing idea because they’re all like. runes or magical somethings or others and speeds like idk. saw it in a dream maybe.
and henry rolls up because he stopped at the manor looking for paige and piper directed him here and he’s just like. like he sees this amazing work and it’s a big heart full moment and paige and speed finish up and speed adds his little signature at the bottom and leaves and henry says he’s proud of him and speed acts like he doesn’t care but he does
so henry’s like hey how’s your friend and paige is like coop? yeah, no he’s totally fine and henry’s like really???
and paige is like yeah no um. my brother in law! is an army medic. so um. he was able to. yeah : ) which isn’t technically a lie because leo was he’s just also kinda frozen in a block of ice now so whoops
and henry’s like that’s good but the real reason he’s her it to like thank paige for you know like. seeing the light like maybe henry has become too bitter and jaded so it’s good to know that there are freelance guardian angels out there keeping the balance and you know watching out for these kids so thank you for just like. being a good person.
and he also looks at her art and he’s like this your coping mechanism and paige is like yeah [tragic backstory swap time!!] and both paige and henry kinda realize how they’re like almost mirrors to each other and henry kisses her and paige kisses him back but then stops because she likes him too much which means he’s gonna die
so she’s like sry i gotta go and henry’s like oh :\ because um. well. whoops. because like. god he so rarely goes out on a limb like that and for one moment there it felt like it was all gonna align like he wasn’t gonna get ditched but paige’s green punchbuggy is already peeling out of the lot so guess not
so phoebe’s determined that coop is indeed in love with paige so all that needs is a little nudging okay she’s on mission time to go
and then next thing you know paige is storming in all in a tizzy because she kissed henry and coop’s like this is great news and paige is like no this is bad news! and coop’s like ???
and paige is like no you don’t understand it’s like i’m cursed because whenever i love someone whenever i truly love someone they die and that kiss....... it was..... i can’t have henry die
and coop is like on full cupid mode idk a cupid monologue blah blah blah love <3 and it kind of heals paige both in a sense that it quells her worries but also in a sense that being around coop always seems to make her feel better like she just feels warmer feels safer when he’s around so um. she should probably. figure something out about that. esp in regards to henry. right?
anyways. coop for some reason or another runs into henry again (call it fate) and henry’s like hey r u okay? and coop’s like yeah : ) ! and thank you, by the way, for um patching me up and stuff and henry’s like yeah no problem but um look can i ask you a favor and coop’s like sure
and henry’s like you’re a relationship therapist right and coop’s like yeah 99% sure he knows where this is going and henry’s like like family and relationship counselling and coop’s now only like 40% sure he knows where this is going and he’s like sure and henry’s like great okay so um i’ve got this parolee who [plot background story idk there needs to be some familial healing something or other] is there like. anyway you can help out with that
and coop’s like totally!! and henry’s like oh thank god because like. therapy expensive.
and now we get another one of those moments like seeing someone in their element henry sees coop as he goes basically full cupid but rather than romantic love it’s familial and henry’s like in awe and he’s also kind like wow okay i’d totally make out with that guy like right now but like. like he just kissed paige. and he knows coop and paige are friends. so like. like he can’t do that right? is that too weird?
so family therapy a success and like as established forging bonds of love strengthens cupids so coop’s like word you know if you ever need this on a more regular basis and henry’s like i promise you’re gonna regret offering that and coop’s like not a chance and henry’s like i really have like nothing to pay you with and coop’s like you make these kids lives better. i don’t need payment and henry looks over and gets is Own aha moment of oh i do have a purpose and also i love my job type thing
but. there is another task at hand. because like. are you and paige?? like??
and coop’s like me and paige??? and he’s about to say no because no they’re not but now he’s thinking about it and they are kinda more than they are not but henry’s not asking about the minutiae of it so now henry’s just watching him go on this face journey before going why do you ask : ) and henry’s like no nothing i just thought like well i don’t know what i thought
and coop’s like haha yeah well you know it’s um. haha yeah! you know how it is. i mean. paige is amazing and henry’s like yeah she really is and coop’s like yeah and like she’s just got all this love in her heart and henry’s like i know!! and she’s so smart like you should see what she’s done with speed she got him this place where he can put up his own art and like blah blah blah and at this point it is just coop and henry praising paige to each other for about five minutes before they kinda realize what’s going on and they’re like hmm. well this is kinda weird. cuz now we both kinda sound in love with her.
and coop’s like listen. i know paige really likes you. like a lot
and henry’s like woah i’m gonna stop you there because um. like. i mean i don’t wanna sound weird but like. like we did kiss and then she kinda just ran off and i mean literally ran hopped into her car drove away type thing so. i don’t really think so. so :\
and coop’s like no i mean like okay yeah that did happen but dude you’ve gotta understand she’s had so much loss and henry’s like no i know she told be about her parents and coop’s voice gets real low leans in because this is Top Secret information and he’s like it goes beyond that and henry’s like what and coop’s like her past two boyfriends both died. one from a heart attack, the other was hit by a car (well, no richard was not hit by a car but when all the magic inside you fucks you up that bad evidently the wreck that’s left kinda looks like you were hit by a semi. ouch) and coop’s like so paige kinda just. thinks she’s cursed.
and henry’s like oh. because my god. that’s a lot to process. and that like. like makes so much sense because like if that happened to him he really wouldn’t be able to date again hell that did not happen to him and he’s already barely able to date bc of how afraid he is of getting hurt
but coop’s out here like henry it’s not you like i promise she really likes you i mean you’re a good man and you’re brave and you’re passionate and like you’re hot, obviously and coop theoretically starts complimenting henry from paige’s point of view but then it very clearly starts to dissolve into coop’s pov and we’re still riding that chemical high of the In Your Element passion henry has for coop added onto the good person bonus of yes i’ll continue to help you with this endeavor for literally no benefit and now he’s just rattling off compliments to henry and henry’s just like oh jeez 😳😳🥰
and there’s just like. the briefest moment of henry’s eyes darting down to coop’s lips and coop’s daze is kinda broken and he realizes that he’s just been telling henry how foioine he is to his face and there’s a moment spellbound lookin into each others eyes like damn this is kinda gay & then they’re making out
and then henry’s like ohhh my god what am i doing what have i done oh know because you’re paige’s friend you like paige and i kissed her earlier today and now i’m oh my god this is a bad idea right? this is a bad idea?
and coop’s thinking on it because like okay he has been trying to pair paige and henry together a) because they’d be cute together and she clearly likes him but also b) because he really likes her and he can’t be with her bc he’s a cupid so at least if she’s with someone else who she loves he can be happy knowing she’s happy. but now he’s here with henry and he shouldn’t be because Again he’s trying to pair paige with henry and he can’t be with henry bc as previously stated cupids can’t actually have relationships but he shouldn’t even be thinking that because henry isn’t for him but even if he was which he isn’t it wouldn’t work because he’s a cupid so um. yeah. this is a bad idea
yeah
yeah
no they’re makin out again.
anyways. l8r at p3 someone else who owns a local business sees the art on the wall outside and is like yo who did that because i would totally pay them to do idk my food truck or something and piper’s like i’ll tell u exactly who did that
so idk i think legally since speed’s a minor and a parolee henry has to be involved in the job getting process actually wait speed just turned 18. idk what any of this means but we’ll say henry needs to be there so piper gave paige the food truck guys digits and paige passes on the news to speed and henry and like. paige shows up at henry’s office to be like good news!!
and to level with you henry thought that like. after making out with coop maybe his feeling for paige would dissipate like maybe he was secretly gay this whole time and paige was just a safe route to project those feeling but paige comes in with this smile that puts the goddamn stars to shame and henry’s like nope!! still in love with her!!
and paige is like okay because like this is all set you know like this could even lead to a career in art for speed like and henry’s like yes absolutely but now that the initial glow of that has worn off they’re both kinda remembering that the last time they saw each other they kissed and then paige bolted so yeah they should probably address that
and paige is like look i want to apologize for just kind of. running out the other day. that really wasn’t. it wasn’t right and i know this sounds dumb but it really wasn’t about you i’m just i’ve been in this weird place and i do like you henry like i really do so i don’t want you to think 
and henry’s like i feel like i kind of apologize too because i kinda made out with your friend and paige pauses because like she really has no friends well i guess besides coop but like there’s and henry tacks on coop to clarify and paige just snorts laughing
like she has no idea why that’s so funny but it just kinda is like. what!!
and henry’s like yeah but it was like. it’s. he really likes you paige he really does care for you i mean i really care for you too and henry’s kind of playing both sides here because he does like. really like paige. and that’s why he wants her to be happy and it’s her choice who she feels who she’d be most happy with whether that’s hm or coop because honestly coop is p amazing henry wouldn’t be burnt losing to him because coop is a great guy and paige is just watching him ramble smiling and henry realizes he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore so he just kind of trails off and gets kind of lost in paige’s smile because like. wow : )
and paige is just kind of there processing that information because um wow who could have seen this coming and honestly she’s still not over coop kissing henry that’s just so unbelievable entertaining to her she’s so gonna hafta prod coop about it later because dude what?? what? bro. bro. bro. like. like the two guys she’s in love with kissed like bro what!!!! lmao she would pay money to see that how tf did that happen. she would have loved to have been there. that’s insane. she really wished she was there. like. really wished she was there. hmm. should she stew on that a little more?
and henry’s like. this is awkward. i’m sorry. i don’t want things to be weird between us. and paige is like henry i think things have been weird between us since i first picked an argument with you in an alleyway. and henry’s like true!! and they’re laughing and there’s a beat and henry’s like i think i fell in love with you in that moment. and paige is like yeah?
and henry’s just. i mean like. look at her <3 but like. she deserves. like she deserves the best there is and he’s just some guy like some jaded hardass who lives in a crappy apartment and who always forgets how to do the right thing it seems not to mention all his fucking baggage like. she deserves better. 
and paige sees him kinda retreat and like she kind of pulls out of the moment too because she loves henry she does but like that fear that he’s gonna die is still there and she wants to fight it she just doesn’t know if she can but like. she really really does like him.
and now they’re both standing there again another moment turned to dust in the wind now they’re just two people standing there incredibly normal about it yep just two people nope paige is kissing henry ope okay yep they’re making out and boom someone’s knocking on henry’s office door o quick act natural because hi henry heard you needed like the legal paperwork because speed’s getting a job here you go and henry’s like 👍 thank you very obviously flushed and his coworker is like. what the fuck is going on in that office. but like. doesn’t really care enough to find the answer to that question.
so paige is like you should come to p3 l8r tonight to like celebrate speed getting a job blah blah blah blah and henry’s like i will be there
so later paige is getting dolled up in a fire outfit just adding the final touches when coop shows up bc phoebe said you needed to see me? (with phoebe’s strategy fully being in mind that paige looks hella fly right now but also is still in the manor an area paige and coop have kind of curated as their space also like once she goes to p3 it’s simply too loud too crowded to have a heart to heart like what is about to happen here which she would listen all unfold but piper unfortunately dragged her away to help with the boys but i’m sure it’s all going well)
and paige is like ....nope. and coop’s like ah. well. you look great. going to see henry? which he asks that question like he’s walking on very thin ice and paige is like yeah and i gotta say i can’t believe you kissed henry before you ever kissed me and coop just laughs like well!!
and paige is laughing too but there’s this undercurrent of you still haven’t kissed me :/ and coop’s like i take it henry told you and paige is like yep. and then made a very convincing campaign in your favor on how you’re evidently in love with me and you’re probably my better option, he loves me, too, but just can’t seem to hold a candle to you
and coop’s laughing and he’s like that sounds like something henry’d say, he’s really. he’s got a lot of love he just doesn’t seem to think he’s worth it.
and paige is like you think he’s worth it though
and coop’s like i do. you think he’s worth it too. and paige is like i do.
and there’s a moment of stillness because what the fuck are any of them doing and paige is like we can’t keep doing this. and coop’s like gonna hafta be a bit more specific there because i think i’ve broken more rules than i can count in the past 24 hours. and paige is wanna make that one more and coop’s like !? and then paige kisses him and coop’s like okay now’s the time where i would really love some clarification
and paige is like. well. i had to kiss you, right? and coop’s like sure? and paige is like because i’ve wanted to for the longest time because i keep pretending like i’m not in love with you because well you know you know me better than almost anyone else but like. i also love henry. and so i had to kiss you. as a test.
and coop’s like ...did i pass?
and paige is like that wasn’t the test and coop’s like what was and paige is like i don’t know. to see where my love is. to see if i love you or if i love henry or if it’s all just infatuation and relfections distorting how i feel and coop’s like okay. so... what’s the answer?
and paige is like i love henry. but then she kisses coop again and is like but i think i love you, too. and they’re doing that thing where they lack bubble space when they talk i mean paige’s head is basically on his chest and coop’s hands are on her waist and coop’s like okay. so where do you want to go from here.
because he’s a cupid you know his top priority is love in its purest form so if like paige’s love for henry like outweighs her love for him he will pretend not to be crushed and move on like he will. he’s saying he’ll do anything in the name of love but really he’ll just do anything for paige.
and paige is like i think you should kiss henry again and coop laughs and he’s like don’t joke about that because complete candor i totally would he is... amazing
and paige is like yeah, i know, and i’m not joking and it kind of clicks for coop like !! polyromanticism!!
anyways. paige And coop go to p3 and henry’s there and sees paige And coop and he’s like uh oh oh no because if paige chose coop like he’s happy for them he really is except he’s also kind of not because then he kind of loses paige And coop and um. that’s kind of a two hit KO. but wait!! that is not the case! what’s this??
anyways. quirky hijinks of sorts when phoebe sees that paige came home with henry and she’s like damn. my plan failed. and the next morning piper’s like i see ur plan worked and phoebe’s like yeah no need to rub it in and piper’s like ??? dude paige totally hooked up with coop last night and phoebe’s like no?? that was the other guy that was henry
and piper’s like that was definitely coop?? and phoebe’s like piper not every tall man with dark hair looks the same and piper’s like no shit do you think i don’t know what coop looks like he practically lives here and phoebe’s like yeah that’s how i know the guy paige brought home w her was Not Coop and piper’s like do you need new glasses and phoebe’s like shut up i’m right and piper’s like no ur not!!
and later that day they’re like. all brewing a potion in the attic and like while we have you here...... did you hook up with henry or coop last night and phoebe’s like because piper thought it was coop when i very clearly saw henry and piper’s like yeah phoebe hasn’t been sleeping well lately i think she’s started seeing things so go ahead prove me right and paige is just laughing like okay so i guess i gotta introduce u guys to my 2 boyfriends
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chaoticpete · 3 years
Text
Our lives is a movie?
Peter Parker x reader...I think, Avengers x reader, Tom Holland x Reader (if ya squint)
Warnings: none
What would it be like if the team found out they were just a movie series in our world?
A/n: This is just an idea I had like last year, will probably end up rewriting it, well at least the end, hope you guys still enjoy it though!
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“Oh come on! I was so close to an almost perfect winning streak!” You yell at Bucky. Tossing the controller beside you, you cross your arms and start pouting as your Yoshi finally crosses over the finish line.
“Guess I’m just better.” He replies with a smug smirk. “Is that why I beat you the first three games.” It’s your turn to smirk when he glares at you. An alarm starts going off through the tower. A code red. Someone is inside the tower. You wave your hand and your suit appears on.
“FRIDAY! Where’s the intruder?” Tony asks, running into the room, Nat and Wanda following behind. “They’re trying to get into the plans vault, sir.”
“L/N would you mind pulling up a portal?” You make one leading to the vault. “Why of course Papa Stark!” Tony summons a suit and the rest of you jump through your portal seeing a blue man trying to get past the actual vault.
“Hey, Smurf! Who do you think you are?” You ask, throwing a mini explosive his way. He jumps out of way throwing back a disk towards you guys that set off a bright light.
Then he sent another one.
“Void! Look out!” Peter says pushing you out of the way the same time you made another portal causing it to mix with the blue guy’s device.
Before anyone else in the team could do anything the guy was gone, and so were you and Peter.
You land landing on your face. “Ow...I really don’t get paid enough for this.” You grumble as you get back up and brush off your clothes. You notice a golden disk by you. It’s the one the guy threw.
Picking it up and slipping it into your suit, you begin looking around you, you see lots of people walking around some talking other carrying items. “Where the hell am I?” You say starting to walk around.
When you spotted some familiar brown curls. “Peter!” You say running towards the boy and pulling him into a hug. “Ugh, I have absolutely no idea whe- when you change your clothes?” You ask actually getting a good look at him.
‘Peter’ looks at you confused. “When did I change my clothes? Darling, I think the real question is what are you wearing and who are you?” He says in a British accent.
Before either of you can say anything else ANOTHER Peter runs up to you. “Y/n!” “Peter?!” You say back pulling this one in a hug.
“Are you okay?” “Yeah. But when I came out of that portal this woman automatically started coming at me saying that “I needed to get ready for the next scene” and “I needed a touch up” THEN SHE TRIED TO UNDRESS ME! I ran so fast.”
Quickly remembering the other Peter you step back from that Peter and look between the two. Peter looks over at the next person, who he saw...was him. “Holy shit!” He says jumping closer to you.
“Y/n, what is happening?” “I don’t know but I don’t like it. Do you think this is Loki’s doing?” “No, no.” He's on that time mission, remember.” “She.” “Oh yeah.”
The fake Peter looked just as confused as the both of you. “I feel like I should be calling security, but it’s not every day you meet someone who looks, exactly like you.” He says staring at Peter.
“Whoa, you’re British?!” Peter askes shocked at the accident. “Would it help better if I talked like this?” He asked now in an American accent.
He sounded just like Peter.
Both your and Peter’s eyes open wide. “Noooo.” You both say. “You both already look very much alike. Don’t you guys talk alike also?”
A loud bell rings and you and Peter automatically jump into your fighting stances. “Shit! Break is just about done.” Fake Peter says panicking a bit.
“Uh, okay follow me. You guys can stay in my trailer till I’m done for the day then when you get to the hotel we can figure this out.” He says starting to walk towards the trailers.
He goes to one labeled “Peter Parker” and opens the door. “You guys can wait till I’m done. Please, don’t let anyone in. I have a key so I’ll just lock it. Um, there are some snacks in the cupboard, water in the fridge, and feel free to watch anything on the tele. Even got youtube!” He yelled before closing the door.
“...did you catch any of that?” “Nope.”
Turning on the tv, you see the date. “February 16, 2021. What the hell is Covid-19-“
You get cut off by someone trying to open the door. “Fucking div locked the door again. And left the tele on.” You hear a voice mumble on the other side before walking off.
“N/n look at this,” Peter says flipping through pages of paper.
“What is it?” “It’s a script. For a “Spider-Man: No Way Home.” He says looking at the first page. “It has everyone in here. Aunt May, Mj, Ned even that European trip we went on.” “Wait what?” You ask, looking over his shoulder.
“Dude...where the hell are we.”
Hours passed and before you know it you hear the trailer door unlocking. Sitting up in the bed you see the fake Peter (whose name you learned was Tom) walking in looking tired.
“Hey. Okay, so before I actually bring you guys back home. Who exactly are you?”
“Well, my name is Peter. Peter Parker. Spider-Man. Um, I’m pretty sure you know me.”
“Yeah kinda. I am...you? Technically...in this universe. Well, one of you. I’ll explain better at the hotel. Oh, I’m Tom by the way. Don’t think I’ve actually introduced myself.” He says chuckling. “And you?” He asks turning your attention to you.
“I’m the actual Y/n. Or Void as my hero name.”
“Y/n huh? Yeah, we don’t have you here.” “Wait what? Really? But I’m Peter’s partner in crime. We’re always getting blamed for everything with the team.” You say pouting.
“Is there at least an actor that looks like me?” “No, I don’t think so darling. Sorry.”
Before anything else can be said there’s another knock on the door. “Tom, are you in there mate? We’re going to go get some pizza.”
“Uh, no thanks I’ll just meet you back at the room. Be safe.” “Who was that?” “My brother, Harry.” “Aww, he has a brother.” “Three actually.” “Awww!”
“Okay it should be safe to get you two out of here but first. Here,” Tom says opening up a kit bag and giving Peter some clothes and you an oversized hoodie. “They might think you’re trying to steal the suit.”
“Oh, and you’ll need these.” He says grabbing a box and handing you each a mask after Peter was done changing.
“Yeah what’s with these?” “We’re in a pandemic?” “Like the plague?” “Ehh, sort of. Now let’s find a way to get you two back home.”
**************************************************************
“So here, we’re all just...comic book characters? There are no avengers? No flying robots? Nothing?”
“Nope. No alien villains. Just regular people who wanna bring harm.” “Huh.”
The three of you were now in Tom’s suite.
“So how did you guys even get here.” “Well, my theory is when the guy threw his little disk thingy, it merged with Y/n powers and made a new portal.”
“But how do you know that’s what it was meant to do?” “It’s the only explanation with how he got into the compound and the vault unnoticed.”
“You guys never thought about that?” “Blame Tony.” You say as Peter hisses and moves back from getting shocked.
“You okay?” You say grabbing his hand to inspect the slight burn. “Yeah, just a sting. It’ll heal in an hour or two.”
“Can you get us back home?” “Yeah, but I’ll need a few supplies.” “Well,” Tom speaks up. “I’m off tomorrow so we can go pick up what you need. You can stay here tonight if you like.”
“Thanks, dude,” Peter says and you nod with him.
“You guys hungry? I can ask Harry to bring back some pizza for us.” “Ohh yes please.” You say bouncing on your toes a bit. “I’m absolutely starving.”
“So Tom you’re an actor right?” “Mhmm.” “And you said you play me?” “Yep.” “And they have the rest of the team?” “Besides me apparently,” you say under your breath.
“Maybe they’ll bring you in soon. The company is starting a new phase so,” Tom says shrugging.
“Do you guys wanna see them?” “How many are there?” “23 movies and more coming out. There's also shows.”
“23 MOVIES ABOUT US?!”
Tom can’t help but laugh at your guy’s reaction. “Yeah, Marvel movies are some of the biggest ones these days. Going on for almost 13 years.”
“How much have you acted in?” “Like five, two solo films, and this one we’re currently filming will make it six. Three solos and three with the actual avengers.”
There was a knock on the door. “Must be Harry with the pizza,” Tom says going to the door. “Why didn’t you just use your key?”
“Cause my hands are full ya div. Why did you get so much food any-“ Harry stops when he sees you and Peter sitting on the couch.
Tom quickly grabs the food from his hands before he can even think about letting it go.
Looking between his brother and his duplicate you couldn’t help but start laughing at his expression.
All three turned to look at you like you completely lost his mind (which I’m sure is exactly how Harry was feeling). “I’m just gonna...nice meeting you guys I guess.” He says walking to what you think is his room before looking back at Tom and Peter causing him to almost walk up into a wall.
“Uh...sorry about that. That’s my little brother Harry, he came along as my assistant.” You and Peter nod. “Well guess we can dig in and watch the movies.”
“I- it was not that dramatic when Mr. Stark took the suit.” “Yes, it was. You could barely talk properly when you called me.”
“I can’t believe they included Flash but not me.”
“Okay, but why is the guy who plays Mysterio kinda hot though.” “Y/n I swear.” “Okay, but am I wrong?!” “...no.”
“Tony’s ego is gonna be ruined if he ever knows they killed him off.”
“Sucks we didn’t have enough time to watch all 23 films. I’m sure it would make more sense.”
And that’s how your night went. You just watched the Spider-Man stand-alone ones before everyone started to crash from the long eventful day. Harry even came out and joined you guys.
After figuring out what was needed and put together his own device, it was time for you guys to go home.
“You guys got everything?” Harry asks as Peter puts the finishing touches. “Yeah, thank you, guys. Really, I don’t know what I and Peter would’ve done if we didn’t end up here.”
“Oh! These are for you.” Tom says handing you a bag. “It’s the whole MCU collection. I saw how much you guys loved the Spider-Man ones and it was confusing since they all interact. Plus, I’m sure the others would wanna see them.”
“As if some of them need an ego boost. Especially Tony and Loki. I’m pretty sure if Loki ever found out he was actually worshipped here he would find a way to get here.”
You go and pull Tom into a hug. “Nice meeting you Peter’s British half. I’ve never really cared for them but eh, I guess I have a little soft spot for two of them now.” You say shooting Harry a wink before placing a kiss on Tom’s cheek and then going to give Harry a hug as Peter says his byes.
“Ready N/n?” “I guess. I just hope we actually end up in our world and not a different one.” You say grabbing Peter's hand as he gets ready to throw the disc.
You both look back at the two Holland brothers. “See you again one day boys.” You say as Peter throws the disc and a portal opens and the two of you jump through it.
The two of you crash to the floor. “Ugh, Peter get off me! You’re skinny but really heavy.”
“Kids!” You both look up to see the team rushing to you guys. “Where did you two go?!”
Getting up from the ground, both tackled with hugs.
“YOu'll never believe us. But we do have the next movie night!” “What are those?” “Movies about us. Avengers! To the theater room!”
Tags:: @tommyunderoos @spideyspeaches @frenchfrostpudding @holland-styles @gwenvrse @allegra-writes @petersgroupie @cherry-hyejin @kitkatd7 @buckys-other-punk
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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #82: “Baffler Meal” | January 1, 2003 - 12:00 AM | S08E01
An all-time classic, wonderful episode. Ending 2002 on a high note (technically this is the first episode of 2003 being that it aired at midnight, but I’m delaying my EPHEMERA CORNER post for as long as I can).
The origins of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are laid bare for all to see with Baffler Meal. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was famously based on a rejected Space Ghost script. Well, this is that script, re-imagining the Aqua Teens based on old designs and concepts from that unproduced episode. The desired effect is to approximate what that episode would have been like had it been produced in 1999 before the Aqua Teen Hunger Force series proper was developed. It’s supposed to be confusing; to the point where in the DVD commentary track they even question weather or not they should make it clear within the commentary that that’s what’s going on here (they do).
I will now take this opportunity to quote one of my favorite synopses of a TV show ever, originally taken from tvtome (remember tvtome? god, what a great site):
Space Ghost is forced into a raw deal with the deadly Colonial Man, forever altering the future of classic rock - again. Willie Nelson and a MOCKERY of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force star in this episode. This episode mocks a great comedy show. It doesn't feel funny in the least.
Here you can see the lack of understanding for what the episode really is. Despite the fact that the ostensible Space Ghost fan (tvtome was run by volunteer submissions for it’s episode data) should one-thousand percent understand the Space Ghost connection, clearly recognize Dave Willis’ voice (he still voices Meatwad in a very similar manner), etc. The degree of confusion this episode caused can not be understated.
Nuggets from the DVD commentary:
Frylock is a guy in a costume in this. Okay, that wasn’t specifically from the DVD commentary, but it’s the first time I caught that detail, ever, and I don’t want to start a separate bullet-point list for stray observations.
Shake’s read of “blahd” instead of “blade” was inspired by a real typo in the script, just like “Branford the Branford” before it.
Todd Hanson of The Onion helped write this episode and kept pitching a character named Napkin Lad. I believe Napkin Lad actually comes to be later in the Aqua Teen series.
And another thing I love: The cool song at the end. The part where Dave is like “OH BABY, YEAH BABY” etc. towards the very end of the episode? That part gets stuck in my head like, VERY FREQUENTLY, and for years I thought it was Bob Odenkirk singing in either a Mr. Show or Ben Stiller Show sketch and have been trying to place it forever. Turns out it wasn’t Bob, but David, and I ain’t talkin’ Cross, do I sound cross to you? Do you even appreciate wordplay??
NEXT is my end-of-the-year roundup of second-run premieres, shorts, commercials, bumpers, etc. That’s right, EPHEMERA CORNER is back! But it’s gonna be a long one so I might break it up over the course of a few days, maybe a week, even.
MAIL BAG
I think these were all anonymous, please forgive me if I have, as the French say, “fucked up” by failing to name the conspirator.
2002 is almost over! What do you think brak's position on the iraq war was? Carl's? Hesh's? Junior addleburg's?
Brak: against, but respects the office of the presidency and urges using civil methods to protest. Carl: pro, he is a white supremacist and is supportive of any and all mass destruction committed on non-white nations. Hesh: HESH WANTS SOME SEX! lol. Junior Addleburg: has not been told about the war.
Do you think you are being overtly charitable to Brak this time around? Surely the best Brak show episode isnt even half as good as the worst Home Movies episode. Right?
I do tend to react to “better” Brak episodes the same way you encourage a problem student when they squeak out a B minus. There absolutely was a time when I loved The Brak Show and was all-in on it. That time was SEPTEMBER 2nd-8th, 2001. Hippo was certainly a factor. 9/11 may have also contributed.
I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but I’ve been keeping a running episode ranking of Adult Swim shows as I’ve been doing this. It’ll probably get revised at some point, so I’m not exactly ready to share it. In my ranking I tended to group Home Movies episodes very close to each other, and I would sometimes talk myself into ranking things a little higher or lower than I normally would just to break up a long streak of Home Movies. So I can actually say with impunity, yes, there are strong episodes of Brak Show that I've ranked over weaker episodes of Home Movies. But I might have to have a little chat with the man in the mirror about that.
Are you only doing animated shows or are you going to do live animated shows to. I feel like most people agree Tim and Eric bringing live-action to the block ruined it permanently even if you think those guys are funny in a vacuum. I'm just wondering because I know you did animation only for your Simpsons Night B-sodes so I feel you are a "tooned-in" guy.
Live-action is getting reviewed too! I can’t WAIT to revisit Saul of the Molemen. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not sure where to draw the line on the internet stuff, though. If it aired on Adult Swim I’m very likely to cover it, but I don’t see myself covering the FishCenter repeats that aired at 4AM. Anime is generally getting the shaft. Sorry. I think it’d be cool if somebody started a blog that covered Adult Swim Action. But yes, you are right, I’m a pretty tooned-in guy. Lots of people have said this about me.
If you had to dress like any of the Adult Swim First Era characters for Halloween who would you dress as and who would you LIKE to dress as if difficulty of pulling it off wasn't an issue.
There was a Space Ghost muscle suit at one of those Halloween Stores one year and I very nearly bought it even though I had no intention of wearing it for Halloween. I did a very low-effort season 4 Hank Venture because by happenstance my hair looked like his at the time, and I found what looked like Brock’s jacket at a thrift store.
Putting on a blue Sealab uniform and only traveling in a chair with wheels would be real fun. I could probably pull of an effective Carl. As far a difficult costume I’d be the poolside announcer during the O.G. bumpers, because I imagine that he’s very muscular and his dick is real long and it’s constantly flopping out of the pantleg of his swim trunks and that it’s getting sucked off all the time by them old ladies and most of the time he’s like “no no, we mustn’t do that, for I am a professional” but every now and again he’s like “well alright” and this would reflect my experiences at whatever Halloween party I’m at except it would be a 20 year old woman dressed like an old lady because it’s Halloween. Thanks for the question.
Do you have a girlfriend? What does she think of Adult Swim or does she hate cartoons like mine.
I’m not done with the last thing. I would also have a bullhorn and I’d be using it while getting sucked off, even though that’s a discreet affair. Like, we’d find a bedroom that was empty and lock the door and I’d be like “Oh yeah baby suck my peenie, yes you are doing so good at sucking that.” in hushed tones, but into the bullhorn. I’d also use it to yell at children for wearing racist or appropriative costumes, which, as we all know, leads to more getting-your-dick-sucked. Anyway, I got a wife and we literally met at an Adult Swim event during Comic-Con! It was Tim & Eric Awesome-con 2007! I’M NOT LYING
Would you rather take one big bite out of meatwad or drink the entirety of Master Shake.
I wonder if Master Shake is warm. Anyway, I’d go with that, biting Meatwad seems like CERTAIN DEATH.
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